#idEK I DONT EVEN KNOW OK
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i dont feel like putting this on main but do u know that thing people did where they would assign the brothers names they thought they would name their kid or wtv.... i would like to dump here that i think levi would name his daughter either lorelai or hannah HERE ME OUT PLEASE THIS TOOK A LOT OF MENTAL GYMNASTICS,,,,
hannah - derived from ruris last name, hana.
ruri = rori = rory = lorelai
bam. thanks for coming to my ted talk.
#he would call her rori for short and sometimes switches it out for ruri please hes such a girl dad HEAR ME OUT PLEASE :(#tbh all the brothers r girl dads in my eyes. except belphie his ass is NOT having kids bro!!!!#idek even know how to tag this. its technically not writing so i shouldve put this on main but i dont wanna do that...#ok well. we ball.#a letter from yours truly!💌#obey me leviathan#obey me!#obey me shall we date#obey me swd#obey me
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im a eurydice = solas truther btw and ill die for my beliefs
be so serious........ and lavellan as orpheus......
#I NEED TO BE LOBOTOMIZED. TRULY.#i dont even know where to start i feel like i cant even post abt this bc theres no way all my thoughts can fit coherently lol#like the 2nd act/hadestown soul-selling business is just solas committing to his goals....#who would win eurydice/solas ''i walk the dinan'shiral - there is only death on this journey'' or orpheus/lavellan walking it anyway lol#to find them and bring them home again#also if the solas-is-a-spirit-that-mythal-bound theory turns out true then the hades = mythal parallels well. they are parelleling <3#''And the choice is yours / if you're willing to choose / Seeing as you've got nothing to lose / And I could use a canary'' HELLO????#ik the other popular interpretation is solas as orpheus but idk solas/eurydice just makes me crazy . it works so well#like theres that one interaction thats like#eurydice: “i havent seen a spring or fall since.... i cant recall”#orpheus "thats what im working on / a song to fix what's wrong / take whats broken#make it whole / a song so beautiful / it brings the world back into tune''#and thats very solas coded. BUT its also such a good parellel to high approval lavellan's fixing the world thru the inquisition/anchor#and thru their kindness and curiosity and all the things he thought were lost in arlathan. the things that make him think maybe shes Real#and it could all be real and worthwhile.#solas recognising the depth and personhood of lavellan thru their [from his pov endearingly naive] actions and spirit#''i havent seen a spring or fall since...i cant recall'' / ''you show a wisdom i have not seen since.... since my deepest journeys into the#ancient memories of the fade'' what if i lost my entire goddamn mind. what if i just completely lost it lol#ok im done im so sorry i feel like harrassing every single person ive ever met with this information like idek what to do with myself lol
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can someone explain why non vegans have such a hard time understanding why a vegan would want to eat something that tastes/smells/feels like meat? Or seem to believe that we never liked meat or animal products?
i need a non vegan to answer, or a vegan who used to have this mindset bc it just doesnt make any sense
even with thinking veganism is a diet, it (their confusion) still doesnt make sense
PLEASE its driving me crazy i never get an answer. Like im not trying to start a fight i legitimately want to know the thought process /genuine
also read tags
#vegan#meat#i wonder if vegetarians get the same thing#but even then i#idk#like the most common misconception of what vegan is is that its a diet#like weightloss or health#and then that its just about not killing animals and loving animals or whatever#so maybe? like to think someone loved animals so much that they dont want to eat anything that looks like them?#but ok some ppl are like that but what about taste? like chicken soup or something like is that confusing too?#bc they make it seem like vegans never liked animal products but then where are they getting that?#isnt it common to know people generally arent born vegan but go vegan later in life?#like vegetarians? and if vegetarians dont get the same confusion then why#idek i get it with like drumstick with a fake bone THAT i understand confusion#but thats not what ppl were on about they were on about the meat not the bone#and ive seen this like constantly ppl talking about vegans should just eat meat instead of replicating it#like what in their mind is veganism?
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im sorry but that made me so upset bc ppl dont ever explain what made them draw a conclusion so now im just upset bc in my head i was venting abt how much it hurts to be sexually assaulted and have ppl not believe u and only criticize u etc etc and then someone pops out of nowhere and says i have a victim complex bc im hurt that nobody cares i was sexually assaulted???? T-T
#idek if that's what they're referring to#i mean yeah obvi i have a victim complex#but what does that matter to u??????? i dont even know u???#it is so easy to just not look at someone's blog if they're bothering u#this blog is my diary and it is all i have#im not here to pretend to be normal or make friends or whatever#im here to vent bc i cant be honest anywhere else 😭#so ok ... like idk what to say to that even bc ok u think i have a victim complex and??#what do u want me to do? do u want me to just stop that for u when idek who u are ??? like ok why do u have to tell me that?#but yeah what i was gonna say was that idk what made them draw that conclusion#so in my head im like damn it was probably that post i made abt sa and daydreaming of reassurance instead of judgement#and that makes me sad bc if u see someone express a WISH to hear that#and all u think is damn this bitch has a victim complex fr fr#what kind of person are u..........#anyway... as always im just upset bc i AM sensitive and emotional. have have bpd.......#im 'dramatic' yes. also yeah since this isnt a dialogue im just sitting here like ????????????#bruv... i dont even wanna talk to ppl and then ppl remind me that empathy is dead#sorry for wanting comfort for being SAed ��🙏
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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youtube
babys first lipsyncing experiment. and tw for flashing images
false king au + gjinka designs from @foileadeux's!
#flashing#flashing tw#youtube#hollow knight#hollow knight animatic#???#forgor what i tag these (last time i posted one was literally a week ago iirc)#false king au#or something . idek#hollow knight gijinkas#hollow knight gjinka#ok i dont even know what to tag anything anymore i'm hoppin off that's enough#Youtube
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qify birthday scribblin
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i lov celebrating fictional birthdays. ok we all know it's not his real birthday but did i make up that its the day he was found?#all i can find is sensei saying it's the day they celebrate it. honestly i hope it's just a random day tbh#'happy birthday aka a reminder of the worst day of your life' why would they do that. do they just know he's spiritually a scorpio? Tell me#anyway im playing new pokemon i guess. in other updates for cai fans i've started playing persona 5 royal again because i dont understand#life when i am not playing that any more i think . but it'll never be the same i'll never go through what i went through then again...#i think my sprigatito will evolve soon. mostly i'm just glitchily falling off cliffs idek whats even going on#today was also tsukigumi black jack shonichi like what is going on
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yo I like really just don’t think I wanna be a part of society
#I’m so done with shit fr#I feel like I shouldn’t have been put on this planet sometimes#not bc I hate myself or shit#but bc I don’t fucking fit in with this bs#I know other peoples relate to this feeling#how fr we gonna make it idk#but we can do this#ugh#nothing makes any sense#I am tired#I’m ok no depressed shit rn#I am just over it all#idek how to describe it#gonna smoke a blunt about it#AND#fucking and. there’s more#the gas station dude that’s obsessed with me I am gonna have to spell it tf out to him#he continues to flirt with me even tho i literally DONT DO IT BACK EVER AND NEVER WILL#I WAS PRAYIN ON MY HANDS AND KNEES On my way! AFTER WORK THAT IT WOULD NOT BE HIM AND IT MFING WAS#AND HE WAS ALL FUCKING WEIRD AND EXCITED AND WAS TRYINT O MAKE ME TOUCH HIS HAND WHEN I WAS GIVING HIM MY CARD#AND I WAS NOT LETTING HIM AND HES LIEK ‘why’re you mad’#and I’m like bc just get my stuff so I can go home pls#also I go through the drive thru btw#but yeah he gets my stuff and fucking asks me again bc he was STILL being ducking weird to me and I’m just gonna kill him next time#problem solved#murder#jking#but I will probably have to be mean#he’s gonna make me do it and I really didn’t wanna be mena but fuck him fr#I do not care about his feelings anymore
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ran out of space in the tags anyways
#it was like awww bummers! bc steak n shake is my birthday tradition ive gotten steak n shake for my birthday every single year since i was#like. idek ... it hasnt been since i was little bc i distinctly remember at some point choosing golden corral instead#i wanna say since i was 6 or 7 its been steak n shake ok. and my granny would always pay 4 everybody to go together me my cousins my aunts#and uncles my gran and grandpa. my family onviously. so yes. so we couldnt do steak n shake 2021 and we were like ah well... well have a#family get together some other way ykk maybe for raynes birthday we can all meet up and Also celebrate my birthday#was the plan. and im like so sadd i dont get steak n shake but whatever at least i will get to see my granny and everybody come february#27th !! well. guess what. i saw my granny and everybody january 31st as it turns out. do you know why. do you know why i saw my granny and#everybody january 31st. Well ill give you a hint my granny wasnt very lively when i saw her#(she doid) (pulmonary embolism) (she was only 57) (she had been driving her sister alda to chemotherapy so she hadnt been stretching her#legs enough which can cause a blood clot in the legs which causes a pulmonary embolism) (my aunt alda died a fucking year later so what is#even the point)#WHATEVER THOUGUH!#a2t#srryyyy.
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im about to start fucking crying over brighton rock by graham greene this shit is HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STupid school book for REAL. What the fuck is “The soured false age, the concentrated and limited experience of the Brighton slum drained out of him. He wished he had Cubitt there and Dallow. There was too much to tackle by himself at seventeen. It wasn’t only Spicer. He had started something on Whit Monday which had no end.” I will KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#i am getting so overwhelmed by this book. i can feel it in my gut#like i've entered this era where i'm so easily overstimulated by enjoying a book it's actually horrible like i can't just appreciate it i#literally shut down and have to close the book bc my brain firing so much so fast is too overwhelming for me#i need to delete tiktok and stop watching films and stop listening to music except on my mp3&cd players and chill out and then I will be Ok.#i want to talk to my english teacher about pinkie but idek what i'd say. i just need to tell someone how moving i'm finding him as a#character and i dont even know what it is. there's just something so compelling about him like the intensity of his every feeling and#the amplification of each emotion to something bigger than all comprehension. Dies#Like i literally keep opening winesburg ohio which is such a lame book to get overwhelmed by but the last time i picked it up there was such#a beautiful passage and i didnt know how to deal with it so i just had to speed through the rest of the chapter and put it down and like#open tiktok like it was HORRRIIIBBLBLLEEE#i think the pinkie thing is the kaz brekker effect tbh. He's like if kaz was like an actual misogynist who was actually kind of a horrible#person. Do you guys remember when kaz was like I cant be no superhuman but for you Inej i'll be superhuman
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ive been on these antidepressants for 2 months and theyve done nothing. which is very annoying
#its not like i thought theyd magically change my entire life or something#but idk i thought theyd do. literally anything#my post#all they did was make me have a 2 week long period in june#im just gonna wait till i see my doctor next to talk about it cause like whatever#think he prescribed me these to help me lose weight? somehow? idk how?? it hasnt worked anyway#i dont think he even knows anything about pcos which like. ok. if ur gonna treat afab patients i think you should know that at least#its a pretty common condition that also very heavily affects ones relationship with weight just saying#whateverrrrr whatever ugh#ignore me#i kinda wonder if i should look for a different pcp but idek how to find one whos like. idk better for me somehow#idek what id look for </3#whatever thats an issue for another day
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🌧️🫧💭
#i shouldnt have fav mutuals bc i get sooo sad when they soft block me#which *always* happens like im not joking the day will come when they're just like nahhh bye#🥲🥲 nd i cant help but get sad#nd i dont even agree w that anon who said that 'no wonder everyone blocks u' bc im never mean to anyone#i think it's just bc im fundamentally unlikable and unlovable and the time will come when smth abt me#ticks them off nd nothing abt me is ever tolerated i always have to be perfect for everyone so then i just get cut off like dead weight lmao#also it shows that i get attached so easily but in reality ... ppl are not at all as attached to me 💀💀#like i care abt them but they dont care abt me nd it makes me feel so stupid#why do i so easily care for ppl?????? why do i have to care nd like ppl when it's always gonna end the same way#me being me is bad nd wrong and nobody could ever truly know me nd still like me#i have to live my life constantly hiding parts of myself and making sure im not too authentic or too open bc then i will make ppl dislike me#it rlly is that. im never mean. i never fight. ppl just see smth abt me nd go 'oh ewwwwww' nd then leave#nd if it hasnt already happened it will at some point nd im constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop#whenever i realize i say or did smth wrong im tense waiting for the moment where they'll leave me will arrive#ok this might sound silly bc i was like 'triggered' by smth small but like#all my life thats just how it's been. im not even mean or cruel. i just exist and ppl dont like me or who i am or what i think#i can never be truly myself anywhere. that is sure to result in being all alone 4ever. but i dont like hiding parts of myself#but i have to. but its hard when im trying to hide nd be lowkey but i still manage to make ppl dislike me T-T#idek what im supposed to do bc i just exist nd im not likable. i try to be that but im still not. idk what to do#anyway.. who cares.. j'appartiens seul#but yeah it is bc it's like this for me all the time nd ig that triggered me lmao#i mean just w my sisters.. their issue is just who i am. my personality. i havent been cruel to them. or bullied them. or put them down#they just get irritated from my personality nd who i am. thats what makes them mad. nd they kinda want me to just stop being me nd idk how#to do that and therefore we arent even talking. havent talked for a year#i wanna cry like????? what am i supposed to do??????? im so extremely fucking horrible that just by exisiting nd not being mean or cruel mak#es me unworthy of everything. idk idk like. omg i feel so stupid for being triggered by that#maybe if i had irl friends and a job and a life i wouldnt care but im a fucking loser failure worthless good for nothing idiot. ofc im this
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hiiii i feel icky :3
#my heart is going SO fast and for what#i just had to email my english teacher bc he emailed me like “hey your grade sucks rn is everything ok”#and i had to be like “no but its fine :thumbsup:”#and i am scareddd that i said too much#bc i know he overheard a conversation between me and my friend in a hallway one day when he was walking by and my friend very#loudly said “[ex friend] is grooming you dude”#and since then he keeps like. checking on me and im not sure if its bc of what he heard or if im just obviously falling apart at the seams#lol. lmao even#anyway girl help im failing english#and i have cs in history pe and zoology#my zoology grade is salvageable i think but im FUCKED for history and idek what im gonna do for pe bc idk why i have a c#also unrelated but my candy stash is almost entirely fucking empty and i dont know what to do like im genuinely panicking about it#teehee!#dumbass complains tag#words from my weird little brain
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Ah feels so good to have the bono cultural 😊😊
#just used it for the first time 😋😋#i FINALLY have the tickets to canet rock#i even have someone to go with😋😋#its gonna be awesome theres the tyets and la fumiga and OQUES GRASSES (its been so longg)#and theres also a couple more like 31fam which i dont rlly listen to but ive wanted to try for a while#(getting into new bands is a big deal for me ok its hard so many new songs ouch)#^and mushka too (idek if i spelled it right🥶🥶) (did it have 2 as??)#gonna use it again as soon as i get confirmation from a friend that we go to the la fumiga concert album release in mayy#im paying for her this year and she will pay for smth next year#stonks🤑#<-who knows if there will be bono next year but whatever its not like i have many better things to do with 200 euros for concerts#<-says having spent almost 50 of them already and planning on 30 more plus almost 50 for canet rock next year#(but hey that means i still have like 70 euros left right)#(what am i supposed to do with all that anyway concerts are usually free)#(gracies a deu q hi ha festes majors em donen vida)#mine#life
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i want 2 travel i want 2 go back 2 school i want 2 get my lotr tattoo sleeve i want 2 move out i want 2 have my own shitty tiny space that's Mine and i want 2 come home and be Okay i want i want i want
#whats up my dudes got my T4 from work last weekend which is never good 4 my conceptions of the future#like yes i Know i mostly only worked 16 hrs a week and my pay is barely above minimum#but somehow seeing that Actual Entire Amount For The Year (and it being low) is. rough.#blah blah 'never gonna make anything of my life' yada yada 'never gonna accomplish my goal' etc etc etc#oh btw did the math re: that program at that college that had me like 👀 and for 4 terms of tuition + residence fees it would be.#approximately $30k. oof. thats not even including all other living expenses :(#and idek if i could hack it in the first place! my academic track record is uhhh kinda all over the place!#my mum was govin me a lil bit of shit abt this cr-04 job i was gonna apply for bc its ~50k a year and not alotta upward opportunities#but like. ok 50k a yr is like 36k take home so like 3k a month which is???? livable????#obvsly not like. amazing and thered be compromises n shit but. my pay cheques currently dont even reach 4 figures.#and if i like the work who CARES if im making $50k a yr instead of $75k???????? what an outrageous frame of reference!!#anyways got hit w/ a bad case of the morbs n didnt submit my application for that job in time so. RIP. moot point anyways......
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don’t mind me just about to have a panic attack 🥰
#to make a long fuckin story short. my mom is jere#no one told me. i didnt even know where my dad was bc#he did not tell me he was leaving and did not respond to my texts or calls#and i had to cancel therapy today bc of it. so um *explodes*#and i go back to school tomorrow. so.#i was doing so well#i wa s literally just cleaning my room some more#and now all my energy is gone.#please dont do this to me i cant live with her again#i dont know how i did it before but i certainly cant now.#please let this be a temporary visit.#though her definition of temporary is questionable#she was only supposed to leave temporarily and was gone for like 2 years#and then ended up staying for. like 2 years.#why why why did she have to come down#i’m trying to be positive and maybe itll be ok but idk#she still deadnames me and misgenders me and its been like what 5 years#and tells me constantly i ‘killed her daughter’#i don’t want my siblings girlfriend to hear her say my deadname or anything#i was literally just talking to my dad abt medically transitioning and idek if he told her#or what her reaction was. but i dont want to have a big fight with the siblings here.#im so tired of my family giving me no warning at all for these thinhs#even though i told them explicitly that i need warning in advance so i dont fucking freakout#my dad doesnt even take my mom’s transphobia seriously. so uhm….#sorry for the rant if anyones even read this but um !!!!!! im gonna fuckjgn uh freak out#shark speaks
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