#idc that there's more light in the evening i work early every morning so it's really cold

[strhwaberries]

okay but am i the only one who doesn't like daylight saving time ??

[downbadf0rficppl]

pink in the night

Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: Some interesting rumours have been circling around about Bucky. Little do you know, it's kinda your fault.

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: Porn with a bit of plot, SMUT, SMUT, SMUT, soft Buck, SMUT!!!!

AN: Sorry y'all! It's kinda a bit shit but listen, it's self-indulgent so idc :) This is kinda inspired by 'Pink in the Night' by Mitski which I was listening to while writing this. Have a good rest of the week, y'all <3

Repost

Bucky had a love-hate relationship with being your neighbour. On the one hand, he loved seeing your face as you left your room every morning, hair not yet slicked to perfection, and sleep still evident on your face. You seemed a lot more innocent in the morning - conversations more idle.

On the other hand - and perhaps as a downside to his more sensitive hearing - you drove him crazy with the knowledge of things that perhaps he wasn't supposed to know.

This night was no different. You had headed off to bed after a long day, bidding everyone in the kitchen a good night. You grabbed a water bottle before slipping into the elevator, Bucky not far behind. You stepped out of the elevator together and you wished him sweet dreams before slipping into your room. Oh, his dreams were going to be far from sweet.

You see, your beds were pushed up to opposite sides of the same wall, so he could hear you relax on your bed. He could hear you shuffle to strip into just your underwear, and how your hand slipped into your panties. He could hear how your breath hitched as you circled your clit, and your soft moans as you plunged your fingers into your cunt or as your vibrator dipped in between your folds.

He could almost envisage you doing it - a forbidden porno that took root in his mind every night that he heard you finger yourself to completion. The rosy pink flush that you would glow as you came all over your hand. Your heavy rise and fall of your chest as you came down from your high. The small smile that would adorn your face as rolled over to fall asleep - the oxytocin released coursing through your veins.

He felt disgusting as he did - one of those creeps that he intended to protect you from for the rest of his life. But after you'd fallen asleep, he'd hop into the shower to cool his body and his mind - to throw the detestable thoughts of you to the far corners of his mind. But as he fell asleep, you'd re-enter his mind in a different way. A more safe-for-work way. You'd be in his arms, cuddling him and whispering sweet words of encouragement. You'd be cooking him dinner while he told you funny stories about his life with scrawny Steve in the 40s; he'd be washing the dishes while you sat on the counter tell him about your day. He'd worry for your well-being - not as an overbearing coworker but as a loving, doting boyfriend. Maybe husband.

Bucky was getting ahead of himself - he'd have to work up the courage to have more than a few-word conversation with you. But for now, wishing he could hold your hand would have to suffice.

Being Bucky's neighbour was not much easier. Especially when he was completely oblivious to your plight. Even the slight brush of a hand made your heart flutter.

You loved seeing him early in the morning - he always seemed less reserved when he was fresh from a good night's rest. He was faster to smile, faster to laugh. It was nice. You woke up at an ungodly hour to see him just before he headed on his morning run. You couldn't deny that the morning light did wonders for him - you were always left wanting more when he dipped into the elevator.

Oh, and the sounds. Your hearing was not quite as superior as Bucky's, but you definitely heard things that left you clenching around thin air.

You knew Bucky wasn't one to self-complete often - in fact, it was rare that you ever caught on to the act. But you had caught the odd broken moan coming from his room. You turned into molten mush, the weight of your arousal buckling your knees. If there was any sound that could turn you to putty, it was that.

You didn't how many times the idea of Bucky fucking you had played through your mind, but each night a different variation brought you the same ending - your fingers deep in your cunt, coaxing you to a climax.

Every night, you wished his cock, tongue, fingers were filling you up instead of yours, leaving you aching and wishing for more. You wanted to run your nails down his back - leaving permanent reminders of your love for him - while he nipped at your neck - leaving marks claiming you as his.

Sometimes, your brain caught up to your thoughts, reprimanding you for your possessiveness. He wasn't yours, you had to remind yourself, even if you wished he was. For that, you'd have to actually have to have more than a few-word conversation with him - which to be honest, seemed impossible. So you stuck to your nightly wishful dreaming, hoping one day he'd be yours. Only yours.

Summer was the worst for Bucky. You were the type to spend hours upon hours out in the sun, coming back with a budding tan and rosy complexion - it did nothing to quell the budding images flashing in the back of his mind. You. Under him. Panting. Moaning his name as he brought you to the edge. Over and over again. Face glowing pink as you gaze up into his eyes, drunk on love and his cock. Bucky had to excuse himself to splash cold water on his face.

It didn't help that the clothing you wore did nothing to help his imagination. The semi-sheer tops, the shorts, the swimsuit and bikinis. Every time he saw you, he immediately had to duck back inside to deal with 'a little problem'. More like a very large, very hard, and very obvious problem.

Still, he enjoyed your company more than he had for the better part of his time living in the compound. He listened to your stories, your jokes, helped solve your issues. He felt that - even if you weren't quite what he wanted you to be - your relationship was blossoming into something quite beautiful. And that made him feel a lot braver - he introduced a little comment here and there, a hand always on your waist or the small of your back. He flirted with you from time to time: just to gauge a meter on your reactions, he'd tell himself, as if this was an experiment to crack a hypothesis that had been perplexing scientists for years.

The sun was peaking over the top of the trees surrounding the compound when you woke up. That was a rarity in summer, given that the sun rose at nearly 5am. Still, you didn't miss out on the opportunity to watch the sunrise, curling up on your windowsill with your blanket wrapped tightly around your shoulders.

You heard Bucky opening his door, and you ran towards yours, grabbing your phone and slippers on your way. You opened your door just as he closed his. He was dressed in gym wear - as always - since he was going on his morning run around the compound track. It was a nice track - one that you rarely frequented - going in and out of the forest behind the compound, totalling about 4.5 miles in distance.

He took you in, eyes bulging as they raked over you. You looked down, following his gaze. Shit. In your rush to see Bucky, you'd forgotten that your nightwear had consisted of some flimsy shorts and your bra - that you had thrown on after waking up to save a modicum of dignity, should someone burst into your room. It was too hot for anything else. You crossed your arms over your chest, which indefinitely made the issue worse as Bucky's eyes lifted way over your head.

"Looking good, babe!" Nat yells, walking across the landing toward you both. Clearly, Bucky had been intending to go on a run with her, maybe fit in a quick sparring session. You sent them on their way, with a 'have fun' and 'don't have too much fun.'

As soon as you were back in the comfort of your room, Nat elbowed Bucky hard.

"Oww! What the fuck was that for?" Rubbing his metal arm, for the convincing act.

"Oh please, you big baby. You have a fucking metal arm, get over yourself." She looked down, "You have a bit of a situation going on down there."

He looks down, embarrassment flushing his cheeks bright red, and subtly tucked his hard dick into his waistband.

"You wanna go sort that out? I won't hold it against you," Nat said, hitting the button to call the lift, "I promise not to tell Stark. Scout's honour." She jokingly holds up 3 fingers. Bucky swats her arm gently.

"No point."

Nat gasps, "No way. Don't tell me Mr. Winter Soldier can't have sex."

"Not sex," Bucky mumbles, "Just jerking off. Can't seem to - you know - finish."

Bucky had a history with Nat. They'd known each other for years. That kind of history made this kind of conversation somewhat less uncomfortable.

Nat burst into laughter. So much for not being uncomfortable.

The lift stopped on Sam's floor. He stepped in, gazing warily at the scene in front of him: the Black Widow doubled over in laughter, and the Winter Soldier embarrassed and uncomfortable in the corner.

He begged to be let in on the joke. Nat wheezed between laughs, "He - can't - fucking - cum!" Bursting into another bout of laughter, with Sam close behind, Bucky jumps out on the next floor, heading to the roof for some fresh air. He catches you up there, trying out some morning yoga. He sneaks up behind you as your stand up, grabbing your waist. You shriek, hitting him hard in the chest, before melting into his embrace once your brain caught up to the situation.

"Not fair!" You pouted, pausing your peaceful music, "Yoga's supposed to be peaceful!"

Bucky chuckles, pulling you into another hug, feeling you wrap your arms around his neck.

"I thought you were going on a run with Nat?" You whispered into his ear, your cheek resting on his clavicle.

"She ditched me for Sam." Bucky opted to leave out the real reason why he had left Nat and Sam in pieces in the elevator.

"Sucks to be you, Barnes!" You laugh pulling away and stepping back onto your mat. "Now leave me alone - just 'cause your friends abandoned you, doesn't mean you can bother me."

Bucky pouted, causing you to laugh before you turned back to your Yoga. He stood there and watched you for a minute, before heading back down to the gym. He strung up a punching bag, before wrapping his flesh wrist. Bucky took all his pent-up aggression and frustration out on the punching bag, allowing no respite between each jab, cross, and hook.

He stayed in the gym for over 3 hours, working every bit of stress out of his body. By the time he left the gym, the sun was high in the sky and a long day of paperwork and training awaited. Bucky headed up to his room for a quick shower - washing all the sweat off his body.

He felt lighter heading downstairs for breakfast - the weight of his arousal pushed far back in his mind. There was nothing he could do about it anyway.

Since deciding he would pursue you honestly, he couldn't seem to finish, no matter how hard he tried. You had been the only thing to push him over the edge - it seemed his body couldn't do it without you. It was frustrating beyond belief. He'd tried other things, porn, erotica, even thinking back to good times before the war. Nothing helped. It was as if his body was finetuned to you - only you knew the magic password to release him. Figuratively and literally.

When he reached the kitchen, he was privy to a welcome sight. You, in your combat gear, grabbing some granola bars before you jumped on the quinjet. You and Stark were heading on a surveillance mission in Guatemala for the week. You were reaching up to the top shelf, stretching on your tiptoes for the expensive granolas that had been kept on the top shelf. Bucky's granola bars that he had put there to stop anyone else from stealing them.

He reached up from behind you and grabbed the box, placing it in your hands. You looked guilty. You'd been caught red-handed.

"It's fine, doll. Take as many as you want." He said, leaning back against the counter, resting on his forearms. Your face flushed red as you grabbed 2 or 3, shoving them into your bag and turning around to fill up your water bottle.

You shivered when his hot breath fanned across your exposed neck, "Just remember that you owe me."

He was gone by the time you turned around.

The rumour had spread like wildfire while you were away.

"Did you hear that Bucky can't have sex?"

"I heard that Bucky can't - you know - cum?"

"Apparently, his time at Hydra fucked him up worse than he realised."

"He can't even masturbate you know?"

The rumours were getting out of hand, but he let them swirl. There was an ounce of truth to them, even if Hydra had nothing to do with his current predicament.

No, that blame could only lie with you.

When you got back, Bucky had just left on a 4-day-long mission with Sam - which meant you heard all the rumours and Bucky wasn't there to defend himself.

You heard it first when you dropped your suit off for dry-cleaning. One of the tech guys was whispering to Marta, the woman who looked after the dry cleaning of suits, about Bucky's apparent inability to ejaculate. You were shocked. Where the hell did they even get that information? You dropped off your suit and headed back up to your room to shower.

You then heard another mention of it when you went to drop off your reports. Two of the agents that were being reassigned to Steve's team - that were currently on a month-long mission in Chad - were gossiping outside Tony's office.

" - and apparently she ran out crying. Thought she wasn't good enough for him or something along those lines. I don't know."

"Yeah, apparently the breakup was grizzly."

"I feel bad for him you know, all of the shit he went through with Hydra, and now this?"

"Yeah, man, really sucks."

Your face blushed a bright red. What the fuck? Where did this rumour even come from? You knew for a fact that Bucky hadn't had a girlfriend since living in the compound so wherever that part of the rumour came from was completely untrue.

You had to get to the bottom of this.

You spent the better part of the next 2 days collecting bits of information from conversations between people around the compound. You found out that the rumour had originated from a conversation between Nat and Sam, which an agent had overheard while they were on their run. It had been twisted as most oral stories were leading to this big misleading idea that Bucky was unable to even get it up and that he was unable to please a woman. You were sure the latter part was untrue. You'd heard the way he moaned alone in his room - you were sure that you could cum just from his moans alone. He wouldn't even need to touch you.

You didn't think the rumour would affect you when Bucky got back. After all, you knew at least some of it to be false. But when he got back, his beard grown out a little because he couldn't shave it while he was away, you felt embarrassed. Not because of his supposed 'predicament' but because you felt as if you had found out something that you maybe weren't supposed to know.

Bucky caught on quicker than you would have liked. The night after he got back, Tony had thrown a little get-together to 'celebrate midsummer'. Realistically, Tony just wanted a reason to go out and drink with his friends. You had avoided Bucky most of the night - not necessarily intentionally, but Bucky still felt slightly hurt and more than a little confused.

He caught you alone on the balcony, looking out at the stars.

"Did I do something?" He said, sneaking up behind you and making you jump. Nervousness and insecurity laced his every move, worried that he had hurt you in some way that he couldn't possibly imagine.

You shook your head violently, scared to make eye contact with him. He lifted your chin, forcing your eyes to meet his.

"What's wrong?" You turned back to face the sky, embarrassment filling your chest. He laced his metal fingers into yours, "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"It's stupid."

"No, it's not. Nothing's stupid, not if it's you." Your heart fluttered at his words.

Your eyes met his steady gaze, "It's really stupid." His eyes begged you to go on, "It's just that - um - when I got back I - um - heardthisreallystupidrumourandIshouldn'thaveletitgettomebutbasically -"

Bucky placed a hand on your waist, drawing small circles, "Breathe."

"Someone said you had trouble pleasing women." You let out quietly. If it hadn't been for his enhanced hearing, he probably would have missed you. His grip on your waist tightened, "Bucky?"

"Trouble pleasing women? That's a new one." His deep voice cut you to your core. You let out a small whimper as the arousal pooled in your panties.

Bucky didn't miss that either.

He grabbed your arm and led you through the party. No one gave you a double look as he lead you into the vacant elevator, slamming your floor number and pushing you up against the wall.

"Think I can't please a woman, huh? Think again. Don't think I don't know what you think about when you cum all over your hand, whining my name under your breath." You whined lowly at his words, feeling how he pushed his hard dick perfectly in line with your throbbing pussy, "Isn't that right, slut? That's what you are, aren't you? My perfect little slut?" You moan at his degrading statement, pushing your pussy further onto his cock trying to find some friction.

"So needy," He tutted, his condescending tone only heightening your arousal. The elevator door pinged and Bucky picked you up bridal-style, kicking the door to your room open. You regularly forgot to lock it while heading down to dinner - for once, both you and Bucky were glad.

He dropped you on your bed, unceremoniously, eyes raking over you ravenously. The heat rose up your face, as you shifted under his unrelenting gaze.

"Oh baby, you don't how long I've been waiting for this." He leaned down locking your lips in a passionate kiss. His palm landed just above your knee, caressing up your leg towards your upper thigh. His hand slid under your dress, cupping your ass. He left a light squeeze, making you gasp into the kiss.

He leaned down, grabbing you with ease, flipping you both so you were straddling his waist. He tangled his flesh hand in your hair, the metal one possessively gripping your hip. He brought you down to his lips for another kiss - even when you were on top, he made sure you knew that he was in charge.

He toyed with the hem of your dress, eyes raking over you once again.

"Off."

You pulled the dress over your head, leaving you in your bra and panties. You felt seriously underdressed, especially considering Bucky was still in his jacket. He reaches up, joining your lips in another kiss, and reaching around to remove your bra. He tosses it to the side, running his knuckles over your pebbled nipples. You moan loudly, panties soaked. He takes his time pinching and squeezing your nipples, licking and biting as he went. The alternate sensations of one warm hand and one ice-cold heighten your arousal ten-fold. You buck your hips over his jeans, the sensation of his fly between your sensitive folds throwing you into overdrive.

His grip on your waist tightened once again. "I can feel your cunt throbbing, honey." You whimpered pathetically. "Go ahead, use me to get off. I know you want to."

Your hips started bucking off their own accord, clothed pussy running over the fly of his jeans. They started slow, getting a feel for what exactly you were doing. Bucky's hands started pushing you faster, setting a faster groove. The coil in your stomach began to tighten as your bucking became more erratic. You teetered on the edge of an orgasm when Bucky stopped you.

"Beg." He restarted your pace, faster and more erratic than before.

"Please, please, please, please, Bucky, please let me cum, please..-" You babbled, tripping and stumbling through your pleas. With a searing kiss, he gives you permission.

"I love you, I love you, I love, OH-" You fall off the edge of one of the hardest orgasms you've ever had, head empty with only one thing on your mind. Bucky.

You feel Bucky manhandle your body so your back is lying on the bed and he is towering over you. He asks you if you want to go on and all you can do is nod your head vigorously.

He chuckles, "I like your enthusiasm baby, but I need words. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, YES!" You shout, breathlessly, already needing more.

He's fully naked and it's all you can do to not stare. He's definitely a well-endowed man, and he definitely has no problem getting it up.

"Like what you see?" He smirks, and you slap his thigh playfully. He pulls you further toward the edge of the bed and lines his dick up with your slick folds. He slides in slowly, holding your chin up so you keep eye contact with him. He watches as your eyes roll to the back of your head in satisfaction. You've never felt so full in your life. He presses into you slowly, feeling the way your tightness engulfs him, allowing your body to adjust to his size. You whimper softly as he pushes in - you never realised just how desperate you were for him.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" He chuckles, watching as tears leak out of your eyes. His condescending tone was back, and all it did was make you hornier. You babbled incoherently, "Gone dumb already? What a cock-drunk little slut you are."

He trails a metal finger up the side of your torso, watching the goosebumps left in its wake. You whimper again.

"Such a needy little baby. Only I can take care of you like this, right? Only me."

"Only you." You affirmed, pressing a kiss to the arm near your head.

He pulled out almost entirely, before slamming all the way back in. You screamed in pleasure, and Bucky set a brutal pace. He pinned your arms above your head with his right hand, and his left hand came to wrap around your throat. The significance of that was not lost on you. He loved you enough to not hurt you, even with his metal arm.

"I love you, baby. You know that right?" Bucky looked you deep in the eyes, "You know I love you right?"

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you," You babble back, lost in the throes of passion.

Bucky found your clit with his metal hand, pressing and flicking gently. You felt your muscles tighten for a second time, and you grabbed the sheets throwing your head back as you came harder than the first time.

Bucky came moments later, deep inside you with a loud moan. He pulled out slowly, collapsing next to you. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling yourself into his neck.

He chuckled at that, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into a bear hug. You stayed like that for a minute before he untangled himself from you and carried you to the bathroom.

He turned on the shower and you both stepped under it, cleaning the sweat and cum off your bodies. Your legs felt like jelly, so you leaned heavily into Bucky as he washed you off.

"Stay awake, doll, just for a second," He said, shaking you awake each time you dozed off in the shower.

Bucky pulled some of your clothes onto your body, before setting you down on the bed. He gave you a quick kiss to the forehead before promising to be back soon.

He snuck into his room wrapped in a towel, before throwing on the first pair of sweats he could find and dashing to the kitchen for a cup of water.

He snuck back into your room, to see you already dead asleep on the bed. He slipped under the covers, tugging you closer to his chest, and smiled.

Through your grogginess, you nuzzled into his chest. "I love you." You whispered, your lips resting against his heart.

You woke up to the sound of soft snoring in your ear and sunlight streaming through the window. You smiled. You untangled yourself from Bucky's arms, disappearing into your bathroom to pee. You wash your face and brush your teeth before diving back into Bucky's arms.

Your legs were still sore from last night, but you didn't care. You were Bucky's and Bucky was yours. The very thought put a massive smile on your face.

"What's tickled your feather this morning?" Goddamn, his morning voice was sexy. You smiled and pressed a hard kiss to his lips.

Bucky smiled through the kiss. He picked you up by the thighs, carrying you while he brushed his teeth and splashed his face.

The compound was pretty silent, barely anyone was awake after drinking the night away. So, while Bucky made you pancakes for breakfast, you asked him the question, "Hey, Buck, where did the rumour come from?"

He looked at you, vaguely embarrassed, "You know that day, when me and Nat were gonna go down to train?"

You face flushed red, "When I walked out in my underwear?"

"Yeah," he chuckled, "I got a hard-on, like a teenage boy."

You stifled a laugh.

"So, Nat said, do I wanna go deal with it? And I told her I couldn't."

You looked at him confused, "Why not?"

"Cause of you," he said simply. You looked at him even more confused, "You were the only thing I got get off to. I tried everything else. Porn, erotica, even thinking about old sex. Nothing worked."

You flushed red again. "Oh god, I've weirded you out, haven't I?" You broke off his impending spiral with a kiss.

"I love you." You said, placing a kiss on his bare chest.

He looked at you with such love and reverence that you felt like you might combust under his gaze.

He kissed you again and all you could think was, "I love you, I love you, I love you."

I love you, I love you, I love you.

I love you I love you I love you.

fin.

buy me a coffee

[d0wnb4df0rf1cm3n]

Pink in the Night

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Some interesting rumours have been circling around about Bucky. Little do you know, it's kinda your fault.

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: Porn with a bit of plot, SMUT, SMUT, SMUT, soft Buck, SMUT!!!!

AN: Sorry y'all! It's kinda a bit shit but listen, it's self-indulgent so idc :) This is kinda inspired by 'Pink in the Night' by Mitski which I was listening to while writing this. Have a good rest of the week, y'all <3 (Also, I love this gif. Can anyone tell me where it's from????)

Bucky had a love-hate relationship with being your neighbour. On the one hand, he loved seeing your face as you left your room every morning, hair not yet slicked to perfection, and sleep still evident on your face. You seemed a lot more innocent in the morning - conversations more idle.

On the other hand - and perhaps as a downside to his more sensitive hearing - you drove him crazy with the knowledge of things that perhaps he wasn't supposed to know.

This night was no different. You had headed off to bed after a long day, bidding everyone in the kitchen a good night. You grabbed a water bottle before slipping into the elevator, Bucky not far behind. You stepped out of the elevator together and you wished him sweet dreams before slipping into your room. Oh, his dreams were going to be far from sweet.

You see, your beds were pushed up to opposite sides of the same wall, so he could hear you relax on your bed. He could hear you shuffle to strip into just your underwear, and how your hand slipped into your panties. He could hear how your breath hitched as you circled your clit, and your soft moans as you plunged your fingers into your cunt or as your vibrator dipped in between your folds.

He could almost envisage you doing it - a forbidden porno that took root in his mind every night that he heard you finger yourself to completion. The rosy pink flush that you would glow as you came all over your hand. Your heavy rise and fall of your chest as you came down from your high. The small smile that would adorn your face as rolled over to fall asleep - the oxytocin released coursing through your veins.

He felt disgusting as he did - one of those creeps that he intended to protect you from for the rest of his life. But after you'd fallen asleep, he'd hop into the shower to cool his body and his mind - to throw the detestable thoughts of you to the far corners of his mind. But as he fell asleep, you'd re-enter his mind in a different way. A more safe-for-work way. You'd be in his arms, cuddling him and whispering sweet words of encouragement. You'd be cooking him dinner while he told you funny stories about his life with scrawny Steve in the 40s; he'd be washing the dishes while you sat on the counter tell him about your day. He'd worry for your well-being - not as an overbearing coworker but as a loving, doting boyfriend. Maybe husband.

Bucky was getting ahead of himself - he'd have to work up the courage to have more than a few-word conversation with you. But for now, wishing he could hold your hand would have to suffice.

Being Bucky's neighbour was not much easier. Especially when he was completely oblivious to your plight. Even the slight brush of a hand made your heart flutter.

You loved seeing him early in the morning - he always seemed less reserved when he was fresh from a good night's rest. He was faster to smile, faster to laugh. It was nice. You woke up at an ungodly hour to see him just before he headed on his morning run. You couldn't deny that the morning light did wonders for him - you were always left wanting more when he dipped into the elevator.

Oh, and the sounds. Your hearing was not quite as superior as Bucky's, but you definitely heard things that left you clenching around thin air.

You knew Bucky wasn't one to self-complete often - in fact, it was rare that you ever caught on to the act. But you had caught the odd broken moan coming from his room. You turned into molten mush, the weight of your arousal buckling your knees. If there was any sound that could turn you to putty, it was that.

You didn't how many times the idea of Bucky fucking you had played through your mind, but each night a different variation brought you the same ending - your fingers deep in your cunt, coaxing you to a climax.

Every night, you wished his cock, tongue, fingers were filling you up instead of yours, leaving you aching and wishing for more. You wanted to run your nails down his back - leaving permanent reminders of your love for him - while he nipped at your neck - leaving marks claiming you as his.

Sometimes, your brain caught up to your thoughts, reprimanding you for your possessiveness. He wasn't yours, you had to remind yourself, even if you wished he was. For that, you'd have to actually have to have more than a few-word conversation with him - which to be honest, seemed impossible. So you stuck to your nightly wishful dreaming, hoping one day he'd be yours. Only yours.

Summer was the worst for Bucky. You were the type to spend hours upon hours out in the sun, coming back with a budding tan and rosy complexion - it did nothing to quell the budding images flashing in the back of his mind. You. Under him. Panting. Moaning his name as he brought you to the edge. Over and over again. Face glowing pink as you gaze up into his eyes, drunk on love and his cock. Bucky had to excuse himself to splash cold water on his face.

It didn't help that the clothing you wore did nothing to help his imagination. The semi-sheer tops, the shorts, the swimsuit and bikinis. Every time he saw you, he immediately had to duck back inside to deal with 'a little problem'. More like a very large, very hard, and very obvious problem.

Still, he enjoyed your company more than he had for the better part of his time living in the compound. He listened to your stories, your jokes, helped solve your issues. He felt that - even if you weren't quite what he wanted you to be - your relationship was blossoming into something quite beautiful. And that made him feel a lot braver - he introduced a little comment here and there, a hand always on your waist or the small of your back. He flirted with you from time to time: just to gauge a meter on your reactions, he'd tell himself, as if this was an experiment to crack a hypothesis that had been perplexing scientists for years.

The sun was peaking over the top of the trees surrounding the compound when you woke up. That was a rarity in summer, given that the sun rose at nearly 5am. Still, you didn't miss out on the opportunity to watch the sunrise, curling up on your windowsill with your blanket wrapped tightly around your shoulders.

You heard Bucky opening his door, and you ran towards yours, grabbing your phone and slippers on your way. You opened your door just as he closed his. He was dressed in gym wear - as always - since he was going on his morning run around the compound track. It was a nice track - one that you rarely frequented - going in and out of the forest behind the compound, totalling about 4.5 miles in distance.

He took you in, eyes bulging as they raked over you. You looked down, following his gaze. Shit. In your rush to see Bucky, you'd forgotten that your nightwear had consisted of some flimsy shorts and your bra - that you had thrown on after waking up to save a modicum of dignity, should someone burst into your room. It was too hot for anything else. You crossed your arms over your chest, which indefinitely made the issue worse as Bucky's eyes lifted way over your head.

"Looking good, babe!" Nat yells, walking across the landing toward you both. Clearly, Bucky had been intending to go on a run with her, maybe fit in a quick sparring session. You sent them on their way, with a 'have fun' and 'don't have too much fun.'

As soon as you were back in the comfort of your room, Nat elbowed Bucky hard.

"Oww! What the fuck was that for?" Rubbing his metal arm, for the convincing act.

"Oh please, you big baby. You have a fucking metal arm, get over yourself." She looked down, "You have a bit of a situation going on down there."

He looks down, embarrassment flushing his cheeks bright red, and subtly tucked his hard dick into his waistband.

"You wanna go sort that out? I won't hold it against you," Nat said, hitting the button to call the lift, "I promise not to tell Stark. Scout's honour." She jokingly holds up 3 fingers. Bucky swats her arm gently.

"No point."

Nat gasps, "No way. Don't tell me Mr. Winter Soldier can't have sex."

"Not sex," Bucky mumbles, "Just jerking off. Can't seem to - you know - finish."

Bucky had a history with Nat. They'd known each other for years. That kind of history made this kind of conversation somewhat less uncomfortable.

Nat burst into laughter. So much for not being uncomfortable.

The lift stopped on Sam's floor. He stepped in, gazing warily at the scene in front of him: the Black Widow doubled over in laughter, and the Winter Soldier embarrassed and uncomfortable in the corner.

He begged to be let in on the joke. Nat wheezed between laughs, "He - can't - fucking - cum!" Bursting into another bout of laughter, with Sam close behind, Bucky jumps out on the next floor, heading to the roof for some fresh air. He catches you up there, trying out some morning yoga. He sneaks up behind you as your stand up, grabbing your waist. You shriek, hitting him hard in the chest, before melting into his embrace once your brain caught up to the situation.

"Not fair!" You pouted, pausing your peaceful music, "Yoga's supposed to be peaceful!"

Bucky chuckles, pulling you into another hug, feeling you wrap your arms around his neck.

"I thought you were going on a run with Nat?" You whispered into his ear, your cheek resting on his clavicle.

"She ditched me for Sam." Bucky opted to leave out the real reason why he had left Nat and Sam in pieces in the elevator.

"Sucks to be you, Barnes!" You laugh pulling away and stepping back onto your mat. "Now leave me alone - just 'cause your friends abandoned you, doesn't mean you can bother me."

Bucky pouted, causing you to laugh before you turned back to your Yoga. He stood there and watched you for a minute, before heading back down to the gym. He strung up a punching bag, before wrapping his flesh wrist. Bucky took all his pent-up aggression and frustration out on the punching bag, allowing no respite between each jab, cross, and hook.

He stayed in the gym for over 3 hours, working every bit of stress out of his body. By the time he left the gym, the sun was high in the sky and a long day of paperwork and training awaited. Bucky headed up to his room for a quick shower - washing all the sweat off his body.

He felt lighter heading downstairs for breakfast - the weight of his arousal pushed far back in his mind. There was nothing he could do about it anyway.

Since deciding he would pursue you honestly, he couldn't seem to finish, no matter how hard he tried. You had been the only thing to push him over the edge - it seemed his body couldn't do it without you. It was frustrating beyond belief. He'd tried other things, porn, erotica, even thinking back to good times before the war. Nothing helped. It was as if his body was finetuned to you - only you knew the magic password to release him. Figuratively and literally.

When he reached the kitchen, he was privy to a welcome sight. You, in your combat gear, grabbing some granola bars before you jumped on the quinjet. You and Stark were heading on a surveillance mission in Guatemala for the week. You were reaching up to the top shelf, stretching on your tiptoes for the expensive granolas that had been kept on the top shelf. Bucky's granola bars that he had put there to stop anyone else from stealing them.

He reached up from behind you and grabbed the box, placing it in your hands. You looked guilty. You'd been caught red-handed.

"It's fine, doll. Take as many as you want." He said, leaning back against the counter, resting on his forearms. Your face flushed red as you grabbed 2 or 3, shoving them into your bag and turning around to fill up your water bottle.

You shivered when his hot breath fanned across your exposed neck, "Just remember that you owe me."

He was gone by the time you turned around.

The rumour had spread like wildfire while you were away.

"Did you hear that Bucky can't have sex?"

"I heard that Bucky can't - you know - cum?"

"Apparently, his time at Hydra fucked him up worse than he realised."

"He can't even masturbate you know?"

The rumours were getting out of hand, but he let them swirl. There was an ounce of truth to them, even if Hydra had nothing to do with his current predicament.

No, that blame could only lie with you.

When you got back, Bucky had just left on a 4-day-long mission with Sam - which meant you heard all the rumours and Bucky wasn't there to defend himself.

You heard it first when you dropped your suit off for dry-cleaning. One of the tech guys was whispering to Marta, the woman who looked after the dry cleaning of suits, about Bucky's apparent inability to ejaculate. You were shocked. Where the hell did they even get that information? You dropped off your suit and headed back up to your room to shower.

You then heard another mention of it when you went to drop off your reports. Two of the agents that were being reassigned to Steve's team - that were currently on a month-long mission in Chad - were gossiping outside Tony's office.

" - and apparently she ran out crying. Thought she wasn't good enough for him or something along those lines. I don't know."

"Yeah, apparently the breakup was grizzly."

"I feel bad for him you know, all of the shit he went through with Hydra, and now this?"

"Yeah, man, really sucks."

Your face blushed a bright red. What the fuck? Where did this rumour even come from? You knew for a fact that Bucky hadn't had a girlfriend since living in the compound so wherever that part of the rumour came from was completely untrue.

You had to get to the bottom of this.

You spent the better part of the next 2 days collecting bits of information from conversations between people around the compound. You found out that the rumour had originated from a conversation between Nat and Sam, which an agent had overheard while they were on their run. It had been twisted as most oral stories were leading to this big misleading idea that Bucky was unable to even get it up and that he was unable to please a woman. You were sure the latter part was untrue. You'd heard the way he moaned alone in his room - you were sure that you could cum just from his moans alone. He wouldn't even need to touch you.

You didn't think the rumour would affect you when Bucky got back. After all, you knew at least some of it to be false. But when he got back, his beard grown out a little because he couldn't shave it while he was away, you felt embarrassed. Not because of his supposed 'predicament' but because you felt as if you had found out something that you maybe weren't supposed to know.

Bucky caught on quicker than you would have liked. The night after he got back, Tony had thrown a little get-together to 'celebrate midsummer'. Realistically, Tony just wanted a reason to go out and drink with his friends. You had avoided Bucky most of the night - not necessarily intentionally, but Bucky still felt slightly hurt and more than a little confused.

He caught you alone on the balcony, looking out at the stars.

"Did I do something?" He said, sneaking up behind you and making you jump. Nervousness and insecurity laced his every move, worried that he had hurt you in some way that he couldn't possibly imagine.

You shook your head violently, scared to make eye contact with him. He lifted your chin, forcing your eyes to meet his.

"What's wrong?" You turned back to face the sky, embarrassment filling your chest. He laced his metal fingers into yours, "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"It's stupid."

"No, it's not. Nothing's stupid, not if it's you." Your heart fluttered at his words.

Your eyes met his steady gaze, "It's really stupid." His eyes begged you to go on, "It's just that - um - when I got back I - um - heardthisreallystupidrumourandIshouldn'thaveletitgettomebutbasically -"

Bucky placed a hand on your waist, drawing small circles, "Breathe."

"Someone said you had trouble pleasing women." You let out quietly. If it hadn't been for his enhanced hearing, he probably would have missed you. His grip on your waist tightened, "Bucky?"

"Trouble pleasing women? That's a new one." His deep voice cut you to your core. You let out a small whimper as the arousal pooled in your panties.

Bucky didn't miss that either.

He grabbed your arm and led you through the party. No one gave you a double look as he lead you into the vacant elevator, slamming your floor number and pushing you up against the wall.

"Think I can't please a woman, huh? Think again. Don't think I don't know what you think about when you cum all over your hand, whining my name under your breath." You whined lowly at his words, feeling how he pushed his hard dick perfectly in line with your throbbing pussy, "Isn't that right, slut? That's what you are, aren't you? My perfect little slut?" You moan at his degrading statement, pushing your pussy further onto his cock trying to find some friction.

"So needy," He tutted, his condescending tone only heightening your arousal. The elevator door pinged and Bucky picked you up bridal-style, kicking the door to your room open. You regularly forgot to lock it while heading down to dinner - for once, both you and Bucky were glad.

He dropped you on your bed, unceremoniously, eyes raking over you ravenously. The heat rose up your face, as you shifted under his unrelenting gaze.

"Oh baby, you don't how long I've been waiting for this." He leaned down locking your lips in a passionate kiss. His palm landed just above your knee, caressing up your leg towards your upper thigh. His hand slid under your dress, cupping your ass. He left a light squeeze, making you gasp into the kiss.

He leaned down, grabbing you with ease, flipping you both so you were straddling his waist. He tangled his flesh hand in your hair, the metal one possessively gripping your hip. He brought you down to his lips for another kiss - even when you were on top, he made sure you knew that he was in charge.

He toyed with the hem of your dress, eyes raking over you once again.

"Off."

You pulled the dress over your head, leaving you in your bra and panties. You felt seriously underdressed, especially considering Bucky was still in his jacket. He reaches up, joining your lips in another kiss, and reaching around to remove your bra. He tosses it to the side, running his knuckles over your pebbled nipples. You moan loudly, panties soaked. He takes his time pinching and squeezing your nipples, licking and biting as he went. The alternate sensations of one warm hand and one ice-cold heighten your arousal ten-fold. You buck your hips over his jeans, the sensation of his fly between your sensitive folds throwing you into overdrive.

His grip on your waist tightened once again. "I can feel your cunt throbbing, honey." You whimpered pathetically. "Go ahead, use me to get off. I know you want to."

Your hips started bucking off their own accord, clothed pussy running over the fly of his jeans. They started slow, getting a feel for what exactly you were doing. Bucky's hands started pushing you faster, setting a faster groove. The coil in your stomach began to tighten as your bucking became more erratic. You teetered on the edge of an orgasm when Bucky stopped you.

"Beg." He restarted your pace, faster and more erratic than before.

"Please, please, please, please, Bucky, please let me cum, please..-" You babbled, tripping and stumbling through your pleas. With a searing kiss, he gives you permission.

"I love you, I love you, I love, OH-" You fall off the edge of one of the hardest orgasms you've ever had, head empty with only one thing on your mind. Bucky.

You feel Bucky manhandle your body so your back is lying on the bed and he is towering over you. He asks you if you want to go on and all you can do is nod your head vigorously.

He chuckles, "I like your enthusiasm baby, but I need words. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, YES!" You shout, breathlessly, already needing more.

He's fully naked and it's all you can do to not stare. He's definitely a well-endowed man, and he definitely has no problem getting it up.

"Like what you see?" He smirks, and you slap his thigh playfully. He pulls you further toward the edge of the bed and lines his dick up with your slick folds. He slides in slowly, holding your chin up so you keep eye contact with him. He watches as your eyes roll to the back of your head in satisfaction. You've never felt so full in your life. He presses into you slowly, feeling the way your tightness engulfs him, allowing your body to adjust to his size. You whimper softly as he pushes in - you never realised just how desperate you were for him.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" He chuckles, watching as tears leak out of your eyes. His condescending tone was back, and all it did was make you hornier. You babbled incoherently, "Gone dumb already? What a cock-drunk little slut you are."

He trails a metal finger up the side of your torso, watching the goosebumps left in its wake. You whimper again.

"Such a needy little baby. Only I can take care of you like this, right? Only me."

"Only you." You affirmed, pressing a kiss to the arm near your head.

He pulled out almost entirely, before slamming all the way back in. You screamed in pleasure, and Bucky set a brutal pace. He pinned your arms above your head with his right hand, and his left hand came to wrap around your throat. The significance of that was not lost on you. He loved you enough to not hurt you, even with his metal arm.

"I love you, baby. You know that right?" Bucky looked you deep in the eyes, "You know I love you right?"

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you," You babble back, lost in the throes of passion.

Bucky found your clit with his metal hand, pressing and flicking gently. You felt your muscles tighten for a second time, and you grabbed the sheets throwing your head back as you came harder than the first time.

Bucky came moments later, deep inside you with a loud moan. He pulled out slowly, collapsing next to you. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling yourself into his neck.

He chuckled at that, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into a bear hug. You stayed like that for a minute before he untangled himself from you and carried you to the bathroom.

He turned on the shower and you both stepped under it, cleaning the sweat and cum off your bodies. Your legs felt like jelly, so you leaned heavily into Bucky as he washed you off.

"Stay awake, doll, just for a second," He said, shaking you awake each time you dozed off in the shower.

Bucky pulled some of your clothes onto your body, before setting you down on the bed. He gave you a quick kiss to the forehead before promising to be back soon.

He snuck into his room wrapped in a towel, before throwing on the first pair of sweats he could find and dashing to the kitchen for a cup of water.

He snuck back into your room, to see you already dead asleep on the bed. He slipped under the covers, tugging you closer to his chest, and smiled.

Through your grogginess, you nuzzled into his chest. "I love you." You whispered, your lips resting against his heart.

You woke up to the sound of soft snoring in your ear and sunlight streaming through the window. You smiled. You untangled yourself from Bucky's arms, disappearing into your bathroom to pee. You wash your face and brush your teeth before diving back into Bucky's arms.

Your legs were still sore from last night, but you didn't care. You were Bucky's and Bucky was yours. The very thought put a massive smile on your face.

"What's tickled your feather this morning?" Goddamn, his morning voice was sexy. You smiled and pressed a hard kiss to his lips.

Bucky smiled through the kiss. He picked you up by the thighs, carrying you while he brushed his teeth and splashed his face.

The compound was pretty silent, barely anyone was awake after drinking the night away. So, while Bucky made you pancakes for breakfast, you asked him the question, "Hey, Buck, where did the rumour come from?"

He looked at you, vaguely embarrassed, "You know that day, when me and Nat were gonna go down to train?"

You face flushed red, "When I walked out in my underwear?"

"Yeah," he chuckled, "I got a hard-on, like a teenage boy."

You stifled a laugh.

"So, Nat said, do I wanna go deal with it? And I told her I couldn't."

You looked at him confused, "Why not?"

"Cause of you," he said simply. You looked at him even more confused, "You were the only thing I got get off to. I tried everything else. Porn, erotica, even thinking about old sex. Nothing worked."

You flushed red again. "Oh god, I've weirded you out, haven't I?" You broke off his impending spiral with a kiss.

"I love you." You said, placing a kiss on his bare chest.

He looked at you with such love and reverence that you felt like you might combust under his gaze.

He kissed you again and all you could think was, "I love you, I love you, I love you."

I love you, I love you, I love you.

I love you I love you I love you.

[youandtom2]

Hello!!! Could you please do a story where reader suffers from insomnia and Tom/Peter (you choose idc) helps them get some rest??? Think this would be really cute :')))

I love your writing btw!! CONTRABAND WAS AMAZING!

a/n: ahh! Thank you so much! Contraband is also a fav of mine I have to admit. Here's a Peter Parker fic for you!

It's only ever rare that sleep comes naturally to you, even then you feel like the luckiest person in the world to have a light snooze. It was never always like this. It appeared maybe a year ago when uni work became too much for you to handle and now it's never let go. It was those dreaded words of the diagnosis that the stress began to build and build and build...

Insomnia's no joke. It's a living hell. Always living because you can't catch a break. People don't seem to believe that sleep is something that a person could miss out on, which is true, but when sleep only comes to you in short half-hour periods, the only thing you crave is a long lie in the morning, the slightly heavy feeling of tiredness you have when you wake from what feels like an everlasting sleep. Unfortunately, that isn't an option for you.

For a full year, you've noticed the bags under your eyes becoming heavier and heavier, your bloodshot eyes no stranger to your appearance and the slightness of your lanky frame has become, frankly, quite disturbing. Your therapist often tells you to work out, force your body to become tired and hopefully that will resolve your little insomnia problem. Only, it doesn't. Even testing the ability of a focussed mind doesn't have an effect; your poorly spent hours wasted solving sudokus, crosswords, general knowledge quizzes, puzzles, all from which you have gained nothing from. The only thing you can't solve though is your problem. It's worse when the early mornings arrive, following that same routine every night;

Three hours of attempting to go to sleep.

The realisation hits you that it just won't work, then eventually you get up to exercise.

You exercise for an hour every night, then hit the sofa to spend the next few hours watching a film.

Then four o'clock comes. You hate four o'clock because it's that specific point of the night where you know everyone around you is asleep except you. As if the night is almost taunting you, forcing the moon floating in the sky to shine down its spotlight on you, deliberately alienating you from the rest of the sleeping world. But in the eyes of others, the moon can be somewhat symbolic of peacefulness and relaxation, that every time you look at it you know that it's time to sleep.

You distastefully scoff at yourself knowing that you really should be in bed, building your energy for the studious day of college tomorrow. You haven’t had energy for so long, you've forgotten what it feels like to have it. After lazing about for two hours, you eventually get that one and only hour of sleep...until your alarm shrieks you awake. Dreading the very thought of it, you slide yourself out of bed feeling the icy coldness of the wooden floor beneath you escalating up your entire body. There’s nothing more that you desire than to succumb under the temptation of a deep slumber again. The amount of sleep you've had isn't enough to get through today, although you know that your mind wouldn't allow you to sleep again.

You arrive at uni with only minutes to spare, the fatiguing walk you endure to get there has burned everything you've mustered up that was intended to last the entire day. Your closest friend, Peter, pats you gently on your back just seconds after sitting down, you turn round to see the more-than-concerned look on his face again.

Peter tries his best to help you in any shape or form and to the best of his abilities. You really do appreciate the support you get from him, but as things for you get worse you can't help but feel somewhat guilty when you don't get better, like he expects you to. When his expectations of you gleaming and energetic the next day aren't met, his sorrowful eyes are the only things you face for the rest of the day. He once told you that he'd consider you as his best friend and it's more than anyone can do for you, your problem can only be manageable by some lighthearted words.

"You didn't get much sleep last night did you?" He asks, but his sense of disappointment suggests he already knows the answer. You slowly blink at him with your head hanging low, you don't want him to see the shapely bags under your eyes, nor the noticeably bloodshot eyes of yours. It's all a mess, you are a mess.

"Hey, we'll get through this, yeah?" He says. With an ignorant shrug of your shoulders and his optimism going to waste, you pan your attention to your lecturer as one hell of a day begins.

~~~~

You're finally released from forcing your mind to focus on every individual word that comes out of your dull lecturer’s mouth. What an utter bore. On your walk home from college, you notice a substantial amount of mothers - cradling their darling little babies gently in their arms - passing by. Their precious babies fast asleep, of course, with not a single distraction to pull them from their slumber and you almost scream in jealousy, once again another example of life bullying you and your mental condition.

Insomnia's like a cage: you become its prisoner confined in an everlasting cycle of being restive, desperately clawing your way out of it but to no avail, it's useless. Right now, your only beam of light is Peter. His optimism to motivate the wellbeing of your sleeping pattern gives you the slightest ounce of hope, here's hoping that it's going to be enough to get by until things really take a turn for the worst.

You reach home and immediately you begin the hours worth of work that needs to be completed and sure enough, this is going to involve energy, a luxury you don't have. With your coffee resourcefully sitting on your right you skim through each paper and quickly. Your phone suddenly buzzes...and buzzes...and buzzes....

It's Peter. He's texting you about visiting you at some point, but you discard his texts and continue on with your work.

Two hours in and a knock emits from your door. You distastefully stomp to face whoever interrupted you from your work.

Again, it's Peter.

"Oh, hi Peter. Wasn't expecting you." You lie.

"Did you not get my texts? I was just wanting to...y'know catch up?" Even Peter himself doesn't seem so convinced of his own answer. You concede, supposing you could do with the company. After inviting him in, he takes a seat on the couch, rhythmically patting a beat on his knees.

"Coffee?" You offer, heading to your kitchen. He follows you there and begins to make himself a cup.

"It's alright I'll get it, you sit." He smiles. Confused, you draw looks at him for acting so weirdly but however you comply and sit. He never usually makes you coffee, he can barely make toast without burning the entire kitchen down, never mind trusting himself with a burning kettle. He presents you the coffee and you both take a seat.

"Want to watch a film?" He asks ever so casually laying back on the couch. What's gotten into him? He's acting so...forward? You don't even know, it's not Peter for sure. You consider his question but there's an irritating voice in the back of your mind reminding you that in your room lies a bundle of work aching to be completed. He can see your eyes glancing towards your bedroom.

"Forget work, relax. Watch a film. Take a break." He demands. You watch him as he finds your cupboards of films and skims through each one, before finally pulling one out. You know how much of a film fanatic Peter is, he's bound to have chosen some classic. But, tonight, it's different. His choice of one of the more romantic films you own slightly takes you back, you don't take your eyes off him while he eagerly sticks the DVD in and presses play. He's acting strange, you can't quite put your finger on it. It's like he's come out of his shell and became...super Peter...well, slightly-more-than-your-average-Peter. Like many nights before his incessant moans to watch something by Quentin Tarantino or some psychological thriller were the bane of your life, and you didn't have a choice in the matter of what you suggested to watch. He hates lovey-dovey films. You can just hear it in the back of your mind...

"They're too cringey"

But tonight, he's adamant. As the sounds of slow and relatively relaxing sound of violins play, you surprisingly find yourself becoming engaged in the film. Peter edges his way along the couch closer to you, already his lingering scent being inhaled through your nose, until you're in contact. Giving in, you rest your head on his shoulder in a sleepy daze, your mind lacking the focus to keep up with the plot of the film, but that doesn't bother you in the slightest.

In your peripheral vision, you see Peter's strong jawline tilt slightly, as if staring down at you in awe, watching as your eyes become heavier and heavier with the weight of exhaustion.

"Here, let me..." Peter whispers, laying your head down to rest on his lap, you let him as you lack the strength to resist. All too soon, your eyes are shut and your mind simply wanders away. There's no voices telling you that there's work to be done, no concerns or worry about uni and all is silent. What's helping is the satisfying feeling of Peter gliding his fingers through your hair, you haven’t felt this relaxed in a long time.

You can feel it now. The craving of sleep finally reaching you and eventually all sound is drawn out of your ears, insomnia no longer barricading you from sleeping. But before you fall into a deep slumber, an angelic voice circles your mind, it's saying...

"Sweet dreams, my love."

[lunaekalenda]

Sooo, I saw someone else do this, and I really loved the idea. Since ur my fav writer👀 (*winkwink), I would absolutely die of happiness if you did an aot boys househusband headcannons. Idc which aot boys as long as Reiner is in it (fr tho he's the most househusband material 😩).

aaAAA i feel honored, thank you so much!! i hope you like it <3!!!! o(≧∇≦o)

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

❁ shingeki boys!

❁ eren, armin, reiner, jean, connie, levi, porco, niccolo

❁ little implied mentions of sexual themes 

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

eren:

- he tries his best, don’t judge him.

- if you’re out for more than a week, he’ll die of hunger.

- “honey how am i supposed to cook pasta?”

- “just put it in boiled water.”

- it wasn’t that difficult, but he left it in water for too much time while playing some video games and it is now a mass.

- he stays by your side while you cook, watching it cautiously, but he ends having you against the kitchen island.

- “Eren, i’m cooking, please.”

- his mouth bitting your ear playfully.

- “i’ll be satisfied just with you, no need of food.”

- usually he orders a pizza after that because the food ended being a mess.

- “Eren Jaeger, the next time you distract me from cooking...”

- but, he cleans really well.

- he’s really constant and he keeps doing it until it shines.

- he usually cleans while you work, and he leaves the automatic vacuum working before leaving for his work,

- but, once he puts his headphones on and connects online with his friends...

- his desk is a huge mess, full of energetic drinks’ cans and empty packs of snacks. he cleans it once he’s finished playing, but sometimes he forgets,

- he’s waiting for you on the couch when you arrive late, dressed with his shorts and with his hair tied in a man-bun.

- “i was waiting for you, i missed you so much today...”

armin:

- he’s really clean because he doesn’t mess or mess up things, so you can have the house organized.

- he only makes a mess when he's studying for important exams.

- a lot of books on his desk and around his chair. A lot of papers with appointments.

- "just leave this, i promise i’ll clean it once my exam is done!"

- he cleans it, unless he arrives really tired from the exam, then he goes to sleep automatically.

- when he's alone, he cleans the pets' houses and gets rid of their furr

- also takes naps with his cat while waiting for you.

- he’s really good at ironing, he’s really fast at it.

- his shirts are always impeccable. 

- he’s also trying to learn how to cook.

- trying.

- “i made breakfast but i think i burned the pancakes”

reiner:

- he's a huge man and he seems clumsy, but no

- he's incredibly good at tasks.

- he wakes up early, even earlier than you, to prepare you a bath and breakfast for you two.

- “Rein, you don’t have to do this, you can sleep until your work hour”

- his work has night turns, but he shakes his head and keeps doing it for you.

- when you try to wake up early to do the same for him, he’s already awake, pulling you closer to him again.

- “why were you up so early.” he says , his sleepy voice caressing your ears when he speaks. 

- he’s also really clean, and it is not new, Bertholdt says he was like that when they shared a flat.

- his breakfasts are the best of the world: strawberry smoothies and fruits salad with fluffy pancakes.

- when he has free day, he likes to buy little things that remind you to him when he walks with the dog.

- “I bought you this chocolate lip balm because you said your lips are getting hurt because of the cold.”

- he also loves kids so much. he wants to have a family. 

- “just imagine a little girl waking us up at morning to accompany her to school.”

jean:

- he's so clingy he would do tasks just to be next to you.

- like, doing the laundry in the washing machine room, so small for two people, and be really near to you...

- and at the same time, he wants to show you he deserves to be your husband.

- he works a lot just to show you he can be your husband and the daddy of your children.

- "look babe, try my spaghetti"

- they were actually good, if he cooked a little bit more he will master it for sure.

- "imagine if we make here a garden with a couple swings for our babies?"

- he started working o a cute garden for you two spend the summer days out.

- he put white roses and pink dahlias, and a table with a couple chairs.

- he also put some lights for the night, to power them on and be a even more incredible garden.

- he also proposed to you under this lights.

connie:

- he lazy

- he just wants to watch tv, eat and sleep.

- but, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t do tasks.

- not a lot of them, but he does.

- like he does, but not all of them.

- “i don’t know how to use the washing machine.”

- “then mop the floor.”

- “but that’s so boring, baby please...”

- when he goes to the supermarket, he buys cups of instant ramen and sodas.

- “Connie we need real food to survive. We can’t eat everyday instant ramen and cola.”

- “but you look the color of the lettuce and i don’t know why, so imagine i take a poisoned lettuce because i didn’t analyze the color and we both die”

levi:

- he cleans the house in deep every two days. 

- he also keeps it organized.

- actually the thought of having kids bewitches him but scares him, just thinking about all the toys in every part of the house.

- he’s a really clean man, and you also clean up the house while he works.

- he likes to spoil you with his acts, like preparing you bubble baths, helping you to sew your clothes and making you braids.

- fortunately, your bathtub is big enough for the two of you bathing together.

- he likes to caress your waist and torso quietly, just the sound of water and your quite breaths.

- his hands on you makes your skin feel electricity.

- he enjoys that moments of privacy and intimacy.

- also drying your hair when you’re about to go to sleep.

- "if you sleep with it wet you'll catch a cold, dummy"

porco:

- he usually avoided the chores, but when you moved with him, he started to pay more attention to what he had to do.

- he’s more fixed on the way your hands take his clothes than on the things he has to do to wash them.

- “i’m paying attention!!”

- his excuses are always that you're a distraction for him.

- "but you're so gorgeous... i need you. now."

- "porco it's the fifth time you say that today..."

- "and not the last."

- you can't say no because you're as needy for him as he is for you, but you try to hide it.

- at the end, he needs help for all the tasks.

niccolo:

- he cooks sooo well

- every time you arrive home, he’s cooking something.

- pizza, seafood, cakes...

- the house always smell so nice...

- you don’t know how to cook that well, but you help him cleaning all the things he uses for his plates.

- and you help him giving him what he needs.

- “could you pass me that knife, please?”

- his hands always touches yours when he takes the knife

[king-maven-calore]

prompt #25 “your hair is really soft” for marecal please 😙

I did this and "10 cal and mare please. idc who says it lol"👀 in a single drabble, I hope you guys don't mind. It's a modern AU I guess

Cal had been volunteering at the Scarlet Guard summer camp for two seasons now, this would be his third. The first time he’d been here as moral support for Ptolemus, who’d been sent here for his community service sentence. Ptolemus had signed up again for the following summers for Wren, a med student in charge of the infirmary, and Cal kept signing up because he found out he loved working with children.

He always had a great time helping the kids, training them in archery and other sports, patting their backs when they got homesick, leading them on walks through the woods belting out marching songs, sitting with them at lunch, and making good use of his excellent puns arsenal. The kids had a blast, and he did too.

In this part of the Greatwoods Region, he found paradise. His dad disapproved and Maven did not understand but was he too happy to mind.

It would have been a shame if he’d proven them right on his third year here when he almost died out of sheer stupidity. But could he be blamed? Could he be blamed when the five new counselors got down from one of the early buses and one of them looked like that?

Among the newbies, there was a petite girl with golden skin that seemed to sparkle under the early morning sun. She jumped down from the bus and a cloud of dirt exploded around her already dirty Vans, her toned legs were generously exposed under her jean shorts, and the lines of her abdomen peeking out from under the camp’s counselor reglementary red polo shirt as she stretched and arched her back to tie her dyed brown and purple hair in a bun, scowling at her surroundings with something akin to distrust. She was the loveliest girl he’d ever seen in such a violent way... was it really his fault he didn’t pay attention to the lightbulbs he’d been changing at the side of the dining hall, perched atop a rickety ladder 10 feet above the ground? It wasn’t. Electricity didn’t give a shit about whose fault was it though when he blindly stuck his hand in the exposed wires next to the light socket.

A white explosion, sparkles, and a sensation of being pulled away at 1000 miles per hour.

Next thing he knew, he was on his back and there was a warm mouth against his. Warm, soft, insistent— on breathing air into him. And good god, this person smelled like heaven; jasmine and rain. Much to his dismay, the scent and the mouth left him and his chest started getting crushed in rhythmic, urgent motions.

Cal gulped air and shot upright. He was surrounded by 20 consternated young faces and one barely inches away from his face. Beautiful, wide brown eyes, thick long eyelashes that brushed against high cheekbones when the girl who’d just saved his life blinked twice.

“Dude.” Kneeling next to him, the girl with the purple hair knitted her brow. “What the fuck?”

And Cal couldn’t help but smile at her. A reflex. She was even prettier up close.

“I think we should check for brain damage,” a blond with bottle green eyes muttered.

Oh, but his brain was fine. It was his heart he should get checked, for he’d just been struck by Cupid’s arrow.

And electricity, of course. The smell of burnt hair, clothes, and flesh reminded him.

The result of that encounter turned out to be quite positive. Yes, he got a second-degree burn on his right hand and a dislocated shoulder from the fall but he refused to be sent home, it had been worth it to get to meet Mare Barrow.

She was 18, from Albanus, only here for the money, best friends with the blondie jokester and— as he learned after a dubiously moral social media stalking session —single and interested in men.

The only thing he regretted from that “meet cute” was that he’d been mostly unconscious (technically dead) for 99% of the time her lips were on his.

He lived for the moments they crossed paths during their daily activities around the camp. His heart grew in size about five times when she teased him and lightly punched his stomach or ruffled his hair.

Ptolemus cocked a brow but kept his mouth thankfully shut when Cal decided to start sitting on the counselor’s table during dinner instead of with the kids, as he had grown accustomed to.

It was miserable and extraordinary how he even found the way she ate her food endearing. More often than not, miserable because he couldn’t A: get her to like him, for she was too laser-focused on doing her job efficiently and getting the hell out of the camp; B: touch her as casually as she did with him because his hand was bandaged, and C: relationships between counselors were strictly forbidden.

By the time his hand was healthy enough to be of any use, three weeks had passed and he was head over heels, neck-deep (to not use other body parts for reference), stupidly in love with the sarcastic girl who had put her own breath into his lungs, challenged him every time they got the chance and looked at him like she wanted to sink her hand into his ribcage to take a bite out of his heart. Needless to say, he wanted to touch her. Badly. Ok, maybe do a bit more than 'touch', but you get the idea.

His excuse was handed on a silver platter by one of his favorite campers, Luther Carver. The kid who was usually off-standish and grim— just misunderstood, in Cal’s opinion – had signed up for the braiding lessons that Mare was unhappily in charge of.

On his way back from the lake, his crew of kids trailing behind him, he passed along the group of girls and Luther taking their lesson, sitting in a circle on the grass between the pine trees. An idyllic image of children focused on their task, and Mare’s poorly concealed discomfort as she sat on a log bench and supervised the activities, biting the inside of her cheek, elbows on her knees. It should be illegal to be that beautiful without meaning to.

“Hi, Cal!” Luther chirped as a girl behind him stared with furious determination at her handiwork. “How does my hair look?”

Cal signaled for his group to keep walking back to the camp and approached the small clearing.

“It looks amazing, buddy!” Cal gave him a thumb up. To be honest, his braid of long black hair was slightly (very) crooked to the left, and Mare noticed. She hid her laugh behind cough and a fist. “It is very original.”

Luther beamed and turned slightly to wink in his fellow camper’s direction. The girl blushed and giggled and Cal wanted nothing more than to give them a bear hug and tell them how smart and kind they were. Kids were the best thing in this world. Especially when they said things like...

“Mare’s hair is still the same,” Luther sighed wearily. “Someone should do something about it.”

All the girls hummed and nodded in agreement and Mare closed her eyes and Cal could read her thoughts as she counted to ten.

“Fine, you guys win.” Ah, so her untouched hair had been a recurring topic. “Cal can braid my hair!” she said with fake excitement that went over the kids’ heads, thankfully. “If he knows how to, that is.” Her brown eyes locked with his in camaraderie, fully expecting him to turn down the task with some excuse to appease their audience.

“Ok,” he shrugged happily as he walked over to her and her smug face dissolved into a confused frown and the kids cheered.

He made a shooing motion with his hand and she moved to sit on the grass awkwardly while he took her place on the log bench, sitting with his feet placed on either side of her body.

“What the hell are you doing?” she whispered through gritted teeth so only he could hear her, craning her neck up to glare at him, when he started cracking his knuckles for dramatic effect.

Were this any other context, he would savor the warmth her body radiated to the inside of his legs. Not this context. Absolutely not.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” he smirked down at her. “Now stop moving and let me braid your hair.”

With one last suspicious look, she heaved a breath and stared ahead as he tugged the scrunchie off her hair and let the brown and purple waves spill down her back.

Cal had no fucking clue how to do braid but how hard could it be? It was like a knot with hair. Right? He looked at what the girls sitting on the grass were doing. Ok, that seemed doable. He combed his long fingers through Mare’s hair to loosen any knots and... Holy. Fucking. Shit.

He successfully hid a shudder while Mare uninterestedly hugged her knees to her chest.

He was choking on his own breath. Her hair was so soft and the scent of it was so amazing it pierced his fingertips, reached his bloodstream, and shot to his head. Jasmine and rain like that first day. Cal stilled for a moment and blinked forcefully to regain some semblance of rational thought.

“What is it?” Mare muttered curtly. Was it his imagination or did it sound more like a gasp than scolding?

“Nothing,” he said and started imitating the nearest girl’s technique. No point in lying, he bent down to whisper in her ear. “Your hair is really soft.” It wasn’t meant to come out so raspy and needy, and still...

Mare turned to the side and they were face to face. She seemed offended, but not really, with a confused glare darkening her burning gaze, a lovely red tint spreading all over her cheeks and neck, slightly parted plush lips.

She looked on the verge of kissing him or punching him. Cal prayed and ached it was the former because she licked her lips, leaving a glossy sheen and he wanted nothing more than to...

“OHHH Mare and Cal sitting in a tree!” A girl squealed, pointing at them from across the clearing and suddenly 10 pairs of devilish eyes were on them and chanting. “K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”

They jumped away from each other so fast one might think they had been electrocuted again as they rushed to explain that “No, they were NOT doing anything of the sort!”

[todourouki]

congrats on 1k+!! can i request for sfw #14 (domestic life w/ them 🥺) with aizawa, todoroki, bakugou, and shinsou? thank you sm!! i love your works :>

AHHH! thank you so much for this, it means a lot! and ugh this is so cuteeee!

Want to celebrate prompt night with me? Click Here.

SFW PROMPT #14: What would living with them be like?

including aizawa, todoroki, bakugou, & shinsou

living with aizawa would be so nice

he’s not a high-maintenance guy

he’s more of a “as long as nothing looks like a piece of shit, we’re good”

matching sleeping bags

the man adores his sleep, i’m sure we all see that

so there’s soft blankets spread over every single couch/lounge-chair incase the two of you decide to nap

every day off, you guys have a tradition on waking up the latest time you possibly could, cooking breakfast together and eating it in bed with a show the two of you are currently binge watching on the tv

aizawa isn’t a bathroom hogger honestly he probably doesn’t even look in the mirror as much as he should

he’s pretty tidy when it comes to leaving his shit where it’s supposed to be

mostly because if he loses it, he knows he’ll be too lazy to look for it and he probably doesn’t have time

the furniture is all monochromatic

i don’t see him as a guy having brightly covered couches in his living room

everything is neutral, black, or white

minimalistic king

due to pure exhaustion all the time, color is out of the question, it reminds him of his students and he hates it but secretly loves it so all of his plates are multicolored

honestly living with aizawa sounds amazing

“Shouta,” you groan, eyes snapped harshly shut die to the light tracing into the room from the now open shades, “close the freaking things.”

Aizawa mumbles right after you, leg kicking the shade he once accidentally lifted with his foot back to where it once was. With the harsh tugs done by his feet, the light in the room finally fleeted away and allowed the comfortable dimness takeover once again.

The Pro-Hero’s arms gripped onto you tighter, nose nuzzled into your neck and bringing your body the kind of warmth necessary within the cold room. “S’go back to sleep, kitten.”

You mustered a smile, eyes still closed and hands running through the silky black hair resting underneath your neck. Mornings with Shouta were always the same— waking up once because of his leg obnoxiously releasing the shades, and both of you falling asleep once again in each other’s embrace.

You felt Aizawa begin to rub your back, fingers twinkling against your bare back soothing you beyond explanation. Within minutes, you felt yourself losing conscience, and you finally drifted back to sleep with the man you loved cradling you with unconscious admiration.

living with todoroki is exactly what you’d think it would be

i don’t mean to say it

but ima say it

this rich bitch has a ton of antique and expensive furniture lying around

mostly because he loves using his dad’s money

you and todoroki are a weird match

because you both love the exact same things

so all the furniture in your home

whether the living room be one color and bedroom be another

it all weirdly goes together because you’re both so good and coordinating shit

like your couch could be fucking orange

and the blue throw-pillows and decorations you cover your living room with just make sense

just like the two of you

living with todoroki means you figure out just how funny he actually is

also just how dense the boy could be

like he’s so sweet but also a little ✨dumb✨

he doesn’t know how to use the laundry machine and he never will don’t change my mind about this

todoroki loved cold soba we all know that

so there is a specific cabinet underneath the sink filled with all the ingredients for making it

that cabinet has to be restocked a lot

usually on days off, shouto would like to sleep in but he knows he just can’t

so if you like to sleep in, he already went out for a run, took a shower, and made you breakfast by the time you wake up

if you like to wake up early/with him, you find yourself either joining his workout or making him a hearty breakfast by the time he gets back

living with todoroki is really sweet bye i’m gonna go cry

“I just don’t understand why I’d have to press so many obnoxious buttons to get it to wash clothes,” he began, his stoic voice staring harshly at the machine infront of him as you stared at him in disbelief, “it isn’t my fault.”

“Shou, you froze the entire machine..” You repeated, a deadpanned expression on your face as you tried your hardest not to laugh.

You knew your boyfriend wasn’t the best at figuring things like this out, he hated to admit it but his family had done a lot for him back home. And sure, he wasn’t a little boy anymore and should probably know how to work a laundry machine, but he was convinced it acted up with him and him only.

“It was giving me a hard time, I didn’t even realize I froze it until I realized the clothes weren’t spinning anymore..” The frown on his face was one you couldn’t help but smile at, the grin taking over your face as you chortled a laugh.

With your empty hand, you gave the boy a kiss on the forehead, his calculating expression trying to decipher the reason certain clothes needed a certain temperature of water. Moments like this made you realize just why you loved Todoroki so much.

bakugou

is a handful

that’s clear to everyone

but living with him, oddly enough, is not

you both have a specific cleaning day

every single sunday morning

and that same night included the two of you watching a movie and having loud in-depth character analysis debate every single time

you both have special cooking days (he has more but it’s ok bc he won’t say it but he absolutely loves cooking for you)

bakugou has been through a lot, my baby

so consistency is something he depends on

he nearly breathes for it

routine is everything in your household, being something you grew accustomed to as well even if it’s not what you’re used to

every day you’d wait for him to get back home on the plush couch in the living room

so that way you’re the first thing he sees when he gets home, as well as a platter of his favorite food for the night and his fav tv show on the tv

he feels like he’s walking into heaven every single day

and depending on your schedules, you get the same thing when you get home if he beats you to it

a show/anime you’re trying to finish, the food you’ve begged him to make, and your loving boyfriend/husband lounged against the couch waiting for your arrival

you both wake up early— sorry, even if you don’t want to

bakugou doesn’t give a single fuck, he will wake you up and force you to either workout with him or start your day with him

on his days off though, you both sleep in until the afternoon

there’s literally no inbetween with your schedules

you’re both either up and ready to go by 8am or finally getting up to brush your teeth at 3pm

“How many times do I have to tell you— the real villain was not Sharpay, but Gabriella!” Your voice boomed, staring at your boyfriend who looked at you as if you had four heads.

“Babe, with all due respect, you’re a fucking idiot!” He retaliated just as aggressive and firm as you. “How can you say that when she’s such a bitch?!”

The credits of the movie you just watched played in the background, popcorn kernels pushing into the skin you had sprawled against your boyfriend. The pink reflected across your shirtless boyfriend, his ears beginning to redden due to the volume of his voice.

“Gabriella walked into that high school and literally stole everything Sharpay worked for,” you retorted, the straw you were drinking from entering your lips as you took a quick sip of the soda, “that’s being a bitch!”

He opened his mouth, signaling you to throw one of the Swedish Fish candies into his mouth and you did. With a laugh, you continued to throw food into one another’s mouth over and over throughout the argument.

“Maybe you resonate with Sharpay so much because you’re both bitches.” He snickered, dodging a pillow that fleeted your side of the couch and into his side by your right hand.

A gasp slipped your lips, narrowing your eyes at his tall figure and shoving a candy down your throat after his words, “maybe that’s why you love me, cause you’re a bitch too.”

living with shinsou >>>> breathing

shinsou is a gamer idc

there’s a playstation in both your room and your living room for game nights

yes

you guys had a game night

every single friday you guys would sit in nothing but (shinsou’s) t-shirt, and underwear and play nothing but video games all day

you usually end up falling asleep when the sun begins to come up, always taking saturday’s off no matter what for the occasion

you both are clean

being too lazy just like aizawa to have to find it if it’s misplaced

the bedroom look the best bc shinsou gets tired of monochromatic things and you hate living in a boring setting

so the two of you’s aesthetic shines through the room

if you cook, then please know food us up to you

if you can’t cook

money is spent 90% of the time on take out

because shinsou can’t cook for shit i don’t care

sometimes people wonder how it is you both manage to go to work and have a coherent sleeping schedule

and the reason is

aside from shinsou’s clinical insomnia )-:

that the two of you are absolute dumbasses

you spend all day doing homework if one of you is in college

or doing the work that needs to be done if you have just a job

and after that?

it’s just cuddling, gaming, struggling to cook, ordering take out, and eventual sleeping when you both realize you’re both past a point of ni return

most of the time though, you both manage to sleep

it’s more surprising for shinsou though bc he could never sleep properly if he’s alone

the two of you live together in GTA

also, I canon that Shinsou loves watching The Office so you guys binge watch the fuck out of that

living with shinsou is living with a bestfriend that is a civilized adult at certain times that you can cuddle and make out with

a girl can only dream <3

The sound of the console played through the room, your focused face watching the screen in front of you intently. The feeling of the bed moving along side every tap of the controller in your boyfriend’s hands trembled your limbs, your eyes being too locked on the screen to even maintain a balance.

“Go to the left, the left!” You pointed out, your legs sprawled across your boyfriend’s chest as he rested his body horizontally underneath yours.

“I know..” His voice was enough to show you he was focused, his eyes barely blinking as he followed your command and moved the character closer towards the left.

As gun shots erupted through the room, all you could see were flashes of red across the screen and players who had been attacked in Shinsou’s frenzy dead against the floor.

Exhilaration ran through your veins as finally killed the last person, the feeling of his body tending under you making you smile in happiness. You had both been trying to beat this level for weeks and you finally did it, exciting you to no limit.

The phrase “victory” strobed against the screen, making the two of you cheer in happiness at the time being well spent. He landed a big fat kiss on your cheek, pulling you in by the string in your hoodie and pressing you against him.

“Let’s beat some more ass in this next round, huh doll?”

“I’ll believe it when I see it, pretty boy.”

[reddogcollar]

Morning Routine

In which I make Hector have a breakdown. That's it. That's the plot.

Warnings for suicidal tendencies and a panic attack

sorry for weird formatting but its late and idc abt formats anymore <3

next

The only window in the cell at the top of the Garrison Tree was a small one, eye level with the table in the room so Hector could see the streets below sitting down.

Sometimes he was grateful for that. Sometimes it made him feel bitter. Most times the height made him dizzy.

Every time he wished the window had been carved up higher, or bigger, so that it'd let more light in the room.

As it was, even with the sun rising, the dark felt oppressive.

The dark wood that everything was carved in didn't help.

The dark probably wasn't actually that bad to anyone else, but to him the shadows writhed and whispered. He couldn't tell whether he was imagining the blue glints of light that would be a vile's eyes.

Even with his ties to dark magic severed, he could still see them.

He just couldn't do anything about them anymore.

Not that he really could before, he'd just learned to ignore them instead of banishing them. They'd quickly become one of his least important problems, after his brother came.

Now he was stuck in a tree with little company other than the dark.

And oh, did the dark love to talk. He tried not to feed into it, if he learned to ignore them again they'd probably get bored toying with him, but their favorite choice of topic had quickly become everything Hector had done.

You could only try not to react to your sins being recounted by the dead for so long.

It left him spending most of his time at that table, next to the window where the meager light poured in. Currently there was a tin plate of untouched food keeping him company.

The viles where stuck in the dark. They couldn't get near him in the dark.

He'd take to burning candles where the shadows were thickest, day and night if he could, but the last time he tried to light a candle he'd felt sick. He could practically feel the wax melting, running down his withered hand.

Just thinking about the sensation now made him short of breath.

Even after a year, he hadn't quite recovered from Manfred's antlers in his lung, and the resulting infection after Vincent had neglected to take care of the wound.

Working himself up did nothing to help his weakened lungs.

The viles crowding the room took notice, they noticed everything, and took to taunting him about how it felt to get stabbed, how it felt to stab the queen, how it felt to have his body stolen from under his feet.

"Did it burn?"

"Did it make you feel powerful?"

"Did it make you feel helpless?"

They all talked at once, he had a hard time deciphering what their taunts actually were. Somehow that was worse.

At least the sun was up.

Right on time, like everyday for the past year, the door creaked open and Drew stepped into the dark. The sunlight didn't read all the way across the room.

The sight of the viles crowding around Drew, like sharks to chum in the water, made Hector's stomach turn.

It always did, no matter how many time he saw it.

Drew payed them no mind, he didn't even know they were there, while he lit the candles that had been placed around the room.

Hector had lied when he asked why he couldn't simply do it himself.

He'd said he'd struggled to do it with one hand.

Which wasn't really a lie, he'd struggled. The struggle was just mostly him trying not to vomit.

By now, lighting the candles had become part of Drew's morning routine. He couldn't tell whether Drew minded that or not.

"Morning, Hector." Drew spoke to him first. More routine.

Hector failed to speak until all the candles were lit, no more shadows clawing at Drew, ineffectually trying to cross plains of existence and rip him apart.

"Good morning, Drew." Hector's voice seemed pathetic to his own ears. Thin and uncertain. Drew probably dreaded the sound of it. Hector certainly did.

Drew pulled out the second chair at the table, sitting with Hector.

That was a recent addition to the routine. With no more sightings of the Wyld Wolves, more of Drew's mornings had been freed.

Why he spent them in the Garrison Tree was beyond Hector.

"How were you last night?" Drew asked. The question was a guise, and one he asked every morning.

He wanted to know if Hector was truly alone in the cell anymore, he wasn't stupid enough to pretend anyone would actually care about his well-being anymore.

"I was alright." Hector lied, he always lied. He'd been far from alright, he hadn't even slept.

He was lucky he'd only cried early on in the night, it was less obvious like that. He wasn't in the mood to be pitied.

Drew nodded, accepting the lie whether he believed it or not.

"How'd last night treat you, Drew?" Hector asked, though by now he was sure he knew the answer.

"Better than most nights." Drew said, and Hector couldn't tell whether it was a lie or not.

Drew's answer surprised him, it was rare that he had a decent night. He'd confided in Hector briefly about nightmares, one morning after not getting any sleep three nights in a row.

Nightmares about endless battles and the risen dead.

He never asked whether those dreams about the risen dead took place in Cape Gala or Icegarden. The answer probably would've been both.

Hector nodded, accepting the answer whether it was a lie or not.

"I'm glad."

That was the truth, at least. Out of everything, Drew deserved a good night sleep at the very least.

The silence stretched on after that. Hector had a lot to say to Drew, but he'd said it all before. He couldn't imagine Drew had much to say to him.

The silence wasn't necessarily comfortable, Hector looking out the window and Drew staring at Hector like he could pry something out of him.

Whatever he might want was beyond Hector.

He'd already answered every question that applied to him.

"You haven't eaten in the mornings for the past week." Drew said, surprising Hector again.

It was true he hadn't had much of an appetite all year, especially not recently. Why in Brenn's name Drew would keep an eye on his eating habits though baffled him.

There wasn't anything he could do with that information.

"In truth, Drew, I simply haven't felt the need to eat lately." The last time he'd really felt like he had to eat was after Vincent was truly gone.

His brother hadn't really deigned to take care of the body he'd stolen.

"You do eat at least, don't you?"

Hector turned away from the window to look at Drew, though not directly in his eyes. He couldn't make eye contact with anyone yet.

He was going to ask where this sudden concern was coming from, when one of the candles fizzled out, having burned itself away completely.

He'd been aware that the candles were burning low now, but the sudden lack of light was jarring.

The sunlight didn't even reach all the way across the table, without the candle Drew was again bathed mostly in shadow.

The viles swarmed him immediately, wrapping around his throat and clawing at his face. The only thing they wouldn't touch was the White Fist.

The sight of them stole the air from Hector's weak lungs completely, practically punching it out of him and making him double over, hunched over the table unable to breathe.

He thought of all the times he'd used Vincent to break someone's neck and his stomach rolled.

He was thankful it was empty.

Baffled by Hector's reaction to a candle going out, Drew stood and went around the table. Into the sunlight. It shook the viles off him instantly.

Still, Hector couldn't look at him.

He couldn't look at him without imagining how it'd feel to break his neck with a vile.

He shook, gripping the table edge and hunching lower till he was practically laying on the table top.

The edges of his vision were going dark, he still couldn't breathe.

The room felt distant now, caught up in his mind thinking about how many lives he'd put an end to a year ago, and how many more he was ready to take.

The justification had been easy then, it was war, he was trying to survive, he wanted what was best for the Wolf's Council.

Now it all made him feel ill.

He could hear the viles, gathering in the shadow left by the candle, whispering about he should've let Dutchess Freya kill him in Icegarden.

He couldn't help but agree.

Drew placed his hand on his shoulder, in a way that should be comforting. It always had been.

Now it made him choke and tremble.

His grip on the table became white knuckled and Drew pulled his hand back.

He found himself completely ungrounded without it.

If only he could make up his mind.

About his allegiances, about whether he wanted to live or die, about whether he wanted Drew's help or not. His life would be so much easier.

"Hector."

At first Drew's voice melted in with the shadow's taunts, indecipherable.

"Hector."

Quiet and ready to rip him apart, behind the wall of his own tumultuous thoughts.

"Hector, look at me."

He jolted upright, pushing himself away from the table but not letting go of the edge, and looked at Drew in the sunlight. As intact as the war had left him.

Distantly, Hector noted he'd started crying at some point.

It didn't seem important though, compared to how every breath was being strangled out of him.

"Hector-" Whatever he was going to say was lost when Hector grabbed him by the collar of his greencloak, hauling himself up.

The White Fist wrapped around Hector's comparatively fragile wrist.

"Drew," Hector choked out, finally making up his mind, "I need you to help me."

Drew nodded, talking before Hector was done, "Of course, Hecto-" Only to be interrupted again.

"You need to kill me, Drew." Out of the corner of his eye, Hector could see the shadows. Writhing and laughing. Always writhing and laughing.

Drew seemed appalled at the idea of it. Of course he was. He'd paled at killing Opal, Count Croke, he probably would have had a hard time killing Leopold, given the chance.

Drew wasn't a killer, even after everything. It wasn't smart to ask him to kill him.

"I won't do that, Hector." Drew said, the Whit Fist tightening around Hector's wrist. If he wasn't careful he might break it.

"You don't understand, I can't live like this, in a dark room afraid of the dark!" He wheezed, his lungs burning at the effort of pleading and keeping himself upright at the same time.

"There's nothing to be afraid of up here-"

Hector cut him off with a choked laugh. There was so much to be afraid of, all the time.

"You don't know anything about that." Hector coughed, his grip on Drew's collar the only thing really keeping him standing at the moment. That and the hold the White Fist had on him.

"What do you mean by that?" Drew's face turned from disgusted and worried to skeptical in an instant, shutting Hector right up.

What a way to gain someone's trust, telling them you still viles.

What a way to get killed, on the other hand. Telling your jailer you still see viles.

"Viles, Drew! I mean viles! The dead! I've seen them since I communed the first time and they're still here, so kill me, because it didn't work!" His demands would probably hold more power if he wasn't choking and practically relying on Drew to hold him up.

He was crying consciously now.

"By Brenn Drew," He continued, begging now, "It's horrible, they're everywhere and they don't ever let me rest. Please just let me die, this is torture. I know what I deserve but please just let me rest."

He'd collapsed in earnest now, coughing and wheezing while Drew did all the work of holding him up.

It didn't seem that hard for him.

Carefully, Drew pried Hector's fist from his collar and had him sit back down, human hand on his shoulder. Like he was keeping him there.

"I'm not killing you Hector. Gretchen was right that there's another way." It was obvious there'd be no convincing him. Hector would live and that'd be that.

He kept going anyway.

"This is cruel, Drew. You're supposed to kill murderers, not torture them." He'd stopped crying, and he could breathe again. The episode had left him barely able to whisper.

He was exhausted.

"It's not supposed to be torture." Drew protested, one hand still left on his shoulder.

"It is anyways."

"It'll get better." Drew squeezed his shoulder before letting go.

He pulled the chair out of the dim shadows, the viles scraping at him while they could, and sat in the weak sunlight next to Hector.

They stayed quiet for a measure of time, Drew letting Hector catch his breath until he could speak up again.

"Why do you object to killing me so much?" It was obvious to Hector that his moral compass hadn't changed at all, but he was so ready to behead him on the top of Bone Tower, what changed?

"You're my friend, Hector," Drew said it like it should've been obvious. In a way he almost believed. "Gretchen was right that it wasn't the only way. You can live a life."

"Live a life stuck in a tree full of demons?"

"It doesn't have to be like that. Now enough of this. You're not dying today and that's final." Drew pushed the chair back, standing up. "I need to go. I'll be back tonight."

That was new. He'd never been by at night. Though, he'd given him enough reason to keep a closer eye on him.

Hector could only nod while Drew went to the door, where he stopped.

"I'll have more candles brought by. In the meantime, you should eat."

With that, he left him alone in the room.

All according to the routine.

[jasonblossomsghost]

1-64 and 65: If you were a bird, what kind of bird would you be?

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?mm no more my own? i dissociate Constantly

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?4 unless i’m w someone else then 1

3. The person you would never want to meet?drumpf

4. What is your favorite word?hmm idk iridocyclitis is fun, a meme, and i work for an eye doctor so relevant to my occupation

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?i like weeping willows and i cry a lot so

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?we’re really doing this again huh

7. What shirt are you wearing?a long sleeved red and navy striped shirt that my mommy gave me

8. What do you label yourself as?a disaster

9. Bright room or dark room?bright room. fun fact: when i was ab 13 i could not sleep unless my overhead light was on. sometimes if im doing really badly i still need it lmao

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?uhh iirc i was talking to my boyfriend and playing wordscapes

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?idk 19 is going ok so far

12. Who told you they loved you last?my boyfriend

13. Your worst enemy?either myself or this one coworker of mine who i genuinely hate

14. What is your current desktop picture?just the preset one,,, idc that much lmao

15. Do you like someone?i mean my s/o is pretty cool sometimes

16. The last song you listened to?Outside - The Early November

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?me bitch tf

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?that one coworker... this one patient at my job who degrades me and my coworkers constantly

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?no one and nothing... i like to do things myself

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)idk tbh 

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?don’t really like this question or the phrase opposite sex in general  so pass /:

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?nah i’m Talentless

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?you know overflow drains in like bathtubs? until i was like 10 i had to have my back against them bc i was scared people could watch me through it 

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.i live off popcorn so i dont eat or like sandwiches really

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?put it in savings. i’m tryna move out in 6 months

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?hmm idk. i have a friend in san francisco i havent seen in forever so that would be lit

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?smirnoff 100%

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? no geminis

29. What is your favorite expletive?fuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?i was gonna say my fire safe box that has my social security card, birth certificate, etc then i was like wait a minute... but tbh idk maybe my laptop? or my purse?

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?my childhood was like 98% trauma but like.. it made me not suck that bad so i’ll keep it

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!i wanna move to seattle but thats in country so.. no idea. sweden? i like ikea

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?don’t fuck w the dead. no one is coming back

34. What was your last dream about?last sunday night i dreamt i woke up monday (christmas eve) and didnt go to work even though i was supposed to (paranoia. i had the day off lmao)

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?i am very good at loving dogs

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?yeah lots of times lmao

37. Have you ever built a snowman?yep. shitty but a snowman

38. What is the color of your socks?black

39. What type of music do you like?depends. sad boi music lately

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?sunrises 100%

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?i can’t drink milk /: but maybe strawberry

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)i am gay idk sports

43. Do you have any scars?quite a few! i’m a clumsy clusterfuck

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?i’m currently in college for poli sci and after i graduate w my BA, i wanna go to law school

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?idk?? like i hate myself but i also dont really wanna change anything

46. Are you reliable?generally yes. but i am known to cancel plans bc i’m depressed lol

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?hows life dude

48. Do you hold grudges?oh hell yeah not gonna play like i dont

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?nope dont like that At All

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?nothing really stands out... probably something from work but i take 100 calls a day so? they all blur together

51. Are you a good liar?really good. i don’t lie though. i’m actually brutally honest bordering on asshole

52. How long could you go without talking?dayssss i love not speaking

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?uhh freshman year i had an awful side part... next

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?yeah! i’m really great at cooking and baking!

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?not really? i took 2 years french and 4 years spanish and to pronounce properly i have to talk differently so i guess i kinda take on an accent then? but not actually

56. What do you like on your toast?i have celiac and gluten free bread is like $5 i dont eat toast lmao

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?i had to do a portrait in the style of francis bacon for my art final

58. What would be you dream car?ideally something that uses clean energy other than that idc

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.no and no.. i just shower what y’all doing in the shower

60. Do you believe in aliens?1000000%

61. Do you often read your horoscope?not often.. like if i happen across it i’ll read it

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?i’m not sure. m is a nice letter

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?dinosaurs bc they were real

64. What do you think about babies?honestly? terrified of them 

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.if i were a bird maybe a magpie? or a crow or raven? or one of those really annoying parakeets

[commander-yinello]

I really hope u take requests and u like mine, we will see 🙈 so i thought about a business trip to an other country (idc wich country it will be) and Zen being dragged into going with him (maybe the meeting is with a famous actor and bc he has connections jumin thought he could drag him with him) and they are stuck in the elevator for like 3 hours in the hotel and its completely dark. Zen freakes out and jumin will kiss him so he can calm him down :) hope thats good i would like to read it ^^

This is so cute! I loved it so that the drabble became a lot longer than I expected whoops >_> It’s a bit of a feels trip, I hope this comes anywhere close to what you were expecting!

Jumin wasunfortunately well acquainted with elevators refusing to work when he was inthem. Many meetings were held in tall office buildings or hotels, and two outof nine times the devil’s contraption would insist on trapping him in betweentwo floors of its choice. The last time he had spent four hours with theheiress of a perfume industry. Needless to say, he appreciated the smell offresh air after that.

This time, thecompany he was locked up with didn’t bother him. On the contrary, he dared toadmit it was quite pleasant, as he watched Zen fidget with his coat endlessly,staring at the glowing alarm button on top of the speaker, in the hopes someonewould tell them they’d be freed soon.

Zen pushedthe button next to the hotel elevator door once more, receiving once again noreaction.

“Help is notgoing to arrive sooner,” Jumin said.

“Shut up,”Zen grumbled. Jumin sighed.

After anotherterse minute, Zen leaned against the wall with his head, covering his face withhis hands. “God, I hate this.”

“Why areyou so tense?” Jumin didn’t understand. Help would come, no matter what.

The actorcrossed his arms to glare at the ceiling. “I like wide open spaces. I likebeing free to go where I want whenever I want. Being stuck is shit.”

He rememberedZen’s secret spot. The lookout over the vast city of Seoul had indeed beenbreathtaking. Strange, he couldn’t recall how it looked like, only remembering Zen’ssmile in the light of the setting sun.

Thequestion that had been on his mind for a while now finally made its way out. “Whydid you agree to come? The economical heart of Beijing is exactly the oppositeof your preferences.”

Zen shothim a quick glance. “Because you asked and if I said no you will endlessly pesterme about it.”

That madehim raise an eyebrow. “That never stopped you from refusing.” What befell Zento agree to the cat commercial he would never know, but the actor had beendetermined to do it. He insisted on it, even after Jumin offered him an alternative.A matter of pride, the commercial had been. The trip wasn’t similar.

Zen fellquiet, frowning in thought.

Juminstarted to feel nervous. Did Zen agree to the trip because of some misguidedduty towards him? Did the actor think he owed Jumin for helping him out withthe Echo Girl incident?

That didn’tsit well with him at all.

“Once we’refreed, I can arrange for you to take the first flight back to Korea.” He wouldask Assistant Kang to add in a clause in the cat commercial contract that Zencan drop it at any moment’s notice.

Zen stoppedleaning against the wall, giving him a confused look. “What are you going onabout?”

“There’s noneed to return the favor, handling Echo Girl helped the entire RFA as well.”

Redeyes widened as Zen bristled at the words said. “Listen Jerkmin, I want to dothis. It’s hard to believe, I know – even I don’t believe it sometimes – but I’mnot doing it because I think I owe you. I’m already mentally preparing myselffor the cat commercial.” He acted like he had to sneeze at the mention of theword cat, though Jumin knew now it was mostly dramatics.

“So why?” Jumin pushed. He really needed toknow.

“Because! Because,eh…” Zen stammered, suddenly fascinated by a loose carpet thread next to his shoe.“Because.”

“Because?”

Zen avoidedhis gaze on purpose. “Never mind, it doesn’t matter.”

“Zen, tellme.” He nearly yelled. He was going to jump out of his skin if Zen kept avoidingthe question.

Half a minutepassed, before the actor groaned in frustration and finally looked back up athim. “Because… of you.”

Jumin’sheart skipped a beat.

“I reallyappreciated you finding me and giving me courage again,” Zen continued. “Thisisn’t about repaying a favor, or about doing things for someone who helped mein my darkest time. It’s about spending time with… a friend. Sort of.”

Somethingabout the way Zen said it struck Jumin as odd. It felt like Zen himself wasn’tsure why he was doing this. “Did I really help you that much?”

That loosethread was once again the focus of Zen’s attention.

Jumin wasabout to press on, when the sound of something buzzing caused the lights toflicker. The buzzing abruptly ended, and all became dark. It was startling how Jumincouldn’t even see his own hand anymore, holding tightly to the metal railing onthe elevator wall.

“Shit!Jumin!” Zen called out, tone pitched higher than normal.

“I’m stillhere.” Keeping his hand on the railing, he moved towards Zen’s location. Hisarm got abruptly grabbed and it took all Jumin’s willpower to push down hisdefensive instincts, letting warm hands grasp his sleeve tight.

Were itanyone else, Jumin would have kindly requested that they release him. Now he stoppedhimself from getting any closer, whether it was to comfort Zen or himself he wasn’t sure.

“There’s noneed to worry. I’m sure this affects the whole building; someone must beworking on it.”

“Yes, Iknow damn it!” Zen swore.

His eyesslowly adjusted, allowing him to see a little. Zen’s hair formed a glowingsilhouette, a lone source of light surrounded by never-ending darkness. Itreminded him of his Elizabeth when he would wake early on a cold winter morning,her beautiful form lying next to his pillow. He fought down the urge to run hishand through the white locks.

“I feellike a teenager again, when my gang locked me in the bar bathroom and turnedoff the lights to haze me,” Zen laughed, an attempt to sound brave but hisvoice wavered. “I was supposed to free myself, but I couldn’t figure out how; Ithought I was going to die there, in the darkness.”

Jumin madea mental note to look up Zen’s old gang members and have them all arrested.

“It was thebartender who rescued me, because she forgot her keys and heard me calling forhelp,” Zen continued. “I was so ashamed, I didn’t tell the gang. The bartenderdid offer me a kiss to make me feel better, which was cute.”

It hit Juminthat Zen was sharing something this intimate because he was trying to distracthimself. A daring question floated to the top of his mind and left his mouth beforehe could stop. “Do you want me to kiss you to make you feel better?”

“D-dude!”Zen sputtered. The fingers around his sleeve tightened a tiny bit, but he feltit.

It wasn’t arefusal. Just like when Jumin asked if Zen had any feelings for him, and Zen avoidedthat as well.

“…Do you?” heasked again, throat tightening from the heavy implication of what he wasasking. What he was implying. Thiswasn’t a joke anymore.

White hair shifted,and Zen’s pale face came into view, the white of his eyes standing out. Theyreally didn’t differ that much in height, Jumin randomly thought. He would havegiven anything to see properly see the expression on the actor’s face.

There wasonly silence, disrupted by the loud pounding of his heart and their unevenbreathing. Jumin wondered if he should apologize, when he felt warm breathtickle his skin. White hair moved closer, eyes blurred from their shortdistance.

“Zen-“ Juminstarted, and stopped himself. He wanted to ask the question again, but found himselfleaning forward. Smooth lips ghosted over his own chapped ones and he knew. Heknew he was crossing a line.

But Zen didn’tpull away. The gap was so easily closed.

He neverunderstood how a kiss could be romantic. Two people mashing their mouthstogether couldn’t be satisfying. It made his father’s constant skirt-chasingeven more ridiculous.

But Zen’s lipswere soft, yet pushed back hard with a need that brought their faces closer. Warm,so warm that he wanted to feel them forever. All thoughts left his mind,allowing him to focus on this feeling alone.

That’s whenall the lights turned back on.

The suddenlight was blinding, forcing Zen to pull away with a hiss and Jumin too had toclose his eyes, spots dancing in his vision.

“Our mostsincere apologies for the wait,” A tin voice spoke out in Chinese through thespeakers. “The elevator will start in a moment’s notice.”

As ifmagically timed, the elevator started to rumble and moved up towards theirdestination. Zen let go of his arm, leaving Jumin feel oddly empty.

Theelevator dinged after it passed every floor. Jumin watched Zen in the corner ofhis eyes, who didn’t say anything either.

“We have room17 and 18, which room would you prefer?” Jumin asked, trying to get back ontrack when his mind raced all over the place.

“Yes.”

Zen’sunusual answer had him turning his head. Zen’s face was bright pink, and he gingerlytraced his bottom lip. It stirred something primal within him.

“Yourearlier question. Yes. I do want…” Zen blushed even deeper, not finishing hissentence, his gaze fixated on Jumin.

Jumin’sfeet had a will of their own.

In a fewseconds, they would have to apologize to the couple who saw them when the doorsopened on their destined floor.

[vsplusonline]

Home smart home: India's booming home automation market

New Post has been published on https://apzweb.com/home-smart-home-indias-booming-home-automation-market/

Home smart home: India's booming home automation market

As a habit, Tom Joseph, 50, bathes twice a day. This routine makes him reach for the geyser switch at least four times daily. A couple of months ago, Joseph bought a smart plug and his life changed. Today, he doesn’t have to bother about switching the machine on or off. It is programmed to function for an hour at 7:00 am and then at 7:00 pm. The smart plug also responds to voice commands. So Joseph, based in the National Capital Region, gets hot water whenever he asks for it.

Impressed by the technology, Joseph has now retrofitted his old air conditioner and TV to make them smart. He now uses a voice-enabled remote to control all these equipment, instead of depending on manually operated remote controls for each.

“When I return home in the evening, it is like the devices know what I want — the air conditioner and TV start even before I get a snack from the kitchen to settle down and relax,” says Joseph, president of Tuya Smart India, an internet of things (IoT) startup.

He is excited about getting rid of mundane tasks. “We no longer call it the future. Smart is current.”

Next on his list are smart curtains and locks.

Across households in India, people like Joseph are making a quiet shift to smart equipment as they look for more gear that can take care of routine tasks — operating lights, fans, air conditioners, heaters, air purifiers, door locks, cameras and more.

The smart home market comprises of networked devices and related services that enable automation. It could be a camera that monitors the house or a ceiling fan that increase or decreases speed sensing the comfort of the occupants of the room.

At present, a smart home is about connected things. Devices, each with a unique IP address, are connected directly or indirectly to the home WiFi making it easy to control them. These devices can also monitor certain aspects of a user’s life. Software tracks a person’s habits, like the music they like in the morning and play that, smart mattresses adjust to a person’s back, smart mirrors point out health issues, sensors in toilets check for potential health issues by scanning waste before flushing.

Sumit Padmakar Joshi, vice-chairman & MD of Signify Innovations India (formerly Philips Lighting India), says, “From being a concept, the word smart has gradually evolved. Consumers now have access to intuitive technologies and virtual assistants which can remind them about daily chores, plan their day and operate their appliances.”

Companies are responding to this demand by flooding the market with smart devices capable of responding to voice and the ambience. According to market research firm IDC, 753,000 smart speakers were shipped to the Indian market in 2018. In 2019, this is expected to reach around 1 million.

Boom in Business The Indian smart home market is expected to be around $6 billion by 2022, a two-fold increase from $3 billion estimated in 2020, according to Statista. Globally, that number is expected to reach $53.45 billion by 2022.

Panasonic, for example, launched an all-smart range of appliances last month.

Manish Sharma, president & CEO of Panasonic India & South Asia, says, “Machines equipped with sensors will be able to comprehend whether an activity in a room is normal or if there is discomfort for the occupants. That is intelligence.” These appliances will create value for consumers, he says.

Customers can operate the devices from anywhere and know how much power an appliance consumes.

The technology also does self-diagnosis.

Let us say an air conditioner is drawing more electricity because of a choked filter. A sensor will send an alert to a technician to come and fix it.

Then comes personalisation — depending on the temperature, an air conditioner automatically adjusts its settings. Smart devices will also call customer care automatically when it is time for service. This almost lifelike behaviour in machines can also help a user secure his home better. A smart doorbell, for example, can send an image of a person outside the door to your smartphone.

You can remotely talk to the visitor and even open a digital lock via the app.

While smart speakers like Amazon Echo and Google Home made users familiar with the concept of using voice commands to stream music and news, it is now light bulbs to curtains that are getting a smart makeover.

Sanjay Gupta, senior VP and business head of consumer lighting at Wipro, reckons that up to 2 million homes in India have at least a smart bulb that can be switched on or off and can adjust the brightness on a voice command.

This shift to smart homes with intelligence in-built in appliances is accelerating.

Google works with 3,500 brands that have 30,000 smart products in the market.

Wipro Lighting gets 3% of its business from smart bulbs in 2019-20 and expects to get 15% by FY22. Delhi-based startup Oakter, which makes smart devices, plans to launch a new smart home product every six months. Philips Smart Lighting has products that can be controlled via a mobile app or voice assistants such as Alexa and Siri. This proliferation in smart devices has led to a surge in data, too. IoT startup Tuya Smart, which processes 40 million voice commands every day globally, in January launched its cloud server in Mumbai to store data from smart home devices.

The starting point to make a home smart could be an appropriate light bulb or speaker.

Surabh Arya, business lead-homes and Nest products, Google, says, “Step one to building a smart house is ensuring connectivity.

After that, it is installing connected devices. If those two conditions are met, it is technically a smart home.”

For Joseph, it was a geyser.

For Shishir Gupta, cofounder & CEO of Oakter, it was a smart lock that he himself made. Cofounded by three IITians, Oakter has three smart home products — a water level meter for overhead tanks, a universal voice-enabled remote and a smart plug.

IDC India says there are four broad uses of smart home devices: entertainment and video, lighting, surveillance and appliances. The first category is the most popular with smart TVs and streaming videos. According to IDC, 60% of the premium TVs sold last year were smart.

Jaipal Singh, lead analyst for smart home and wearables, IDC India, says, “Alexa, Google Home sharpened the users’ focus towards exploring more use cases on voice commands. Music and entertainment remain the top use case in smart homes.”

Use cases could expand as consumers now want their homes to give the same experience they get in a connected car. And domestic manufacturers are also warming up to the idea.

Hero Electronix, which makes digital set-top boxes, started producing smart home products under the brand Qubo in September.

“Demand for home automation solutions is on the rise due to use cases around connectivity, security and entertainment,” says Nikhil Rajpal, CEO, Hero Electronix.

There is demand from tier-2 cities also.

Qubo has six smart products with built-in Alexa — including cameras, smoke & gas sensors and smart plugs.

“We solve practical use cases.

For example, using cameras and voice recognition, parents can get to know when their children returned from school and they can even talk to them from remote locations,” Rajpal adds.

Such systems will work well only if there is seamlessly internet connectivity. As network systems improve with 5G and other such technology, smart homes will see wider and better acceptance.

“5G will accelerate growth of smart homes,” says Anku Jain, managing director of MediaTek India, “as connectivity will be better, lag will be less and capacity will be higher.” A third of chip-maker MediaTek’s business comes from smart homes applications.

Part of the reason for the swift shift to smart devices now is due to the ease with which it can be done and the pace of roll-out of technology.

For instance, Alexa was launched in the US just five years ago and India was the fourth country to have the smart speaker. “There has been a 5X increase in Alexa-enabled smart home users in 2019,” says Puneesh Kumar, country manager for Alexa experience & devices, Amazon India. “The selection of smart home devices has also increased 30X.”

Early adopters struggled to make their geysers, microwaves and bulbs smart. It was a 12-15 step process, with a separate app for each appliance. Now it is a single-step process, thanks to industry aligning to certain standards such as ZigBee and original equipment makers working with companies that make smart speakers. Even if users have products from multiple vendors — like Voltas, Havells, Usha, Philips, Sony, Xiaomi, Syska, Wipro — smart speakers will be able to discover and help control all of these from one device. Panasonic users, for example, can now either use the company’s app to control things or sync with Alexa or Google Home. A user can ask Alexa to “discover my devices” and all devices that can be connected will show up on the app. The same can be done on Google Nest, a smart home platform.

Kumar adds, “It is going beyond luxury to convenience and that is the biggest factor why people are switching to smart devices.

It is also great for differently-abled people as they can control devices without having to move.”

The devices are also getting better and more powerful so routine tasks, like switching on the geyser at a particular time, become hassle-free. Smart speakers like Nest Hub and Alexa help users streamline multiple tasks with a single voice command — a command like “Ok Google, I’m home” can turn on lights or set off scheduled reminders related to a dinner date, a birthday party or bill payments.

Google Nest products like the Mini have dedicated machine learning chips and a processing capability of one TeraOps (one trillion calculations per second). Such computing capability makes the machine translate and act on a simple command in either Hindi or English without lag.

No longer will a family on vacation have to worry if they have left the geyser on or if the front door was locked. They can check from anywhere in the world using a smartphone.

All this comfort comes at a cost that can look like a luxury when compared with regular devices and appliances.

When smart bulbs were first launched about 16 months ago, they cost as high as Rs 2,400. A year ago, the price of a 7-watt bulb dropped to Rs 1,200. But that is still six times more than a similar wattage LED light. Smart doorbells cost Rs 4,000-7,000, while a regular one can start from Rs 50. Smart locks can leave you poorer by around Rs 25,000 against a regular one that cost Rs 500. But the advantages are manifold.

Godrej, for example, has the Advantis range of locks that start at Rs 25,000 and come with fingerprint sensors, can store four unique passwords and ring an alarm on sensing a fire.

Overall costs of smart home products could come down as volumes rise and a local ecosystem develops.

Sushant Bhargava, assistant general manager, Godrej Security Solutions, says, “Lockers have moved from keys to digital PINs to biometrics and, now, operate in a connected world.

In the latest range of lockers if someone tries to break in, it sets off an alarm and sends a text message or an automated call to the owner.”

For security reasons, locks are standalone units and cannot be activated via smart speakers. “At present, we do not see a use case for such devices,” he added.

A customer can start building a smart home for as little as Rs 10,000 and later add more devices that could cost up to Rs 1 lakh, depending on usage. Companies are also offering freebies to spread their reach. For example, customers buying Alexa smart speakers were given a free Wipro smart bulb around last Diwali. This helped Wipro sell more smart lights.

Gupta of Wipro says, “Despite the high cost, buyer response online was better than expected. Around last Diwali, prices dropped to Rs 500 (from Rs 1,200). As prices fall more, smart lighting will take off.” By Diwali 2020, Wipro will push smart products offline as well. The company is also evaluating new products, including geyser sockets, phone chargers, curtain controllers and motion sensors.

The price will come down as volumes go up, says Panasonic’s Sharma, much like it happened with smartphones.

Be Smart, Be Safe A smart device has to listen, translate and then execute a command as simple as “dim the lights”. Companies insist that devices start recording only after the prompt word is uttered — this could be “Ok Google”, “Alexa” or “computer”, among others.

But are the devices listening to more than what they are supposed to? Also, if you order a book via a smart speaker such as Amazon Echo, what if the order command (and other conversations) lands on the wrong cloud? You might feel secure that cameras installed outside the house are scanning all activities and sending alerts on your smartphone. But what if the system is hacked and a thief gets to see the images to figure out the right time to strike?

“For a device to know what to do, it has to transcribe, translate every word a user utters,” says Saket Modi, cofounder & CEO, Lucideus, a Palo Alto-headquartered cyber risk quantification platform company with clients such as NPCI, ICICI Bank and Delhi Airport. “That is fundamentally the cost of convenience.”

Voice is the primary source of interaction for smart devices that can make life more convenient by taking care of routine tasks. As the use of such devices increases, so is the amount of data that is being shared by connected/IoT devices.

In fact, users aren’t always aware about the amount of data that is being collected and where and how it is being stored. Pramod Sudhindra, partner-advisory services, EY India, says, “It is fine to use smart devices if you are okay sharing some of the data with a cyber farm somewhere.

Otherwise, there is no price you can put on security. At least make sure you buy hardware from reputed makers.”

Anti-virus software did a good job of securing systems when desktops and laptops were the only source of digital footprints. But now that print can be picked from air purifiers, washing machines, microwaves, fans, bulbs and so on. A smart speaker is constantly listening to all conversations happening in the room. Moreover, these devices get better as they listen and learn more about a user looking for smart solutions.

“Anything that multiplies conveniences multiplies threats as well,” says Modi. There is a lot that needs to be done at the WiFi router level to make smart homes secure. A smart way to ensure security is “a combination of technology, control and awareness,” adds Modi.

In an article in Time.com, David Cooley, chief strategy officer at Silicon Labs, says any breach could be catastrophic for the industry. “I call it a mass-extinction event for the Internet of Things.” The rapidly expanding industry faces this onerous task of ensuring smart is safe.

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[stinkrascal]

Ok so I was thinking about your sims again 👉🏾👈🏾 and um ok so ik you said tarek's love language is romantic acts of service, but what about the others? Also like what would be their ideal first date? And how would they react to other people flirting with their partner? Like ik vlad would commit a murder, but what about brie 👀 ?

i actually listed all their love languages here!! but ideal dates?? jealousy??? OMG!! im gonna ramble so hard!! so i’ll put all this under a cut :’)))

vlad - a) vlad’s ideal date would be like... an idyllic picnic in a field, listening to soft music, chillin in the sun n eatin fruit n drinkin wine :-) all that sappy shit!! b) u know vlad. he will unalive u if u disrespect his wife. the truest simp. but anyways yes he is a very jealous person, sometimes it’s a little excessive and brie has to yell at him, to which he eventually realizes that he’s being unreasonable and he’ll step back. he really doesn’t try to be that way, sometimes he honestly just can’t help it. since he was alone for centuries, he’s extremely over protective of his family and can find pretty much any reason to dislike any man who so much as glances in breanna’s direction. his jealousy never stems from fear that breanna will cheat on him, but more so from his belief that pretty much every man on the planet is trying to bed his wife LMAO lowkey breanna loves the attention :’))

breanna - a) honestly, she’s very easy to please. just get takeout n get in bed n smoke a bowl n watch movies with her n she will be happy! ;w; b) brie is surprisingly not that jealous, like if someone finds vlad attractive shes like... well of course? look at him? Lmaoooo. unless someone poses a significant threat to their relationship, she doesnt see a reason to get worked up. like she knows how hard vlad simps u know, this man canonically KILLED her ex-boyfriend to be with her so like? she doesnt feel any reason to get upset if someone finds vlad attractive, bc she knows at the end of the day her husband is crazy obsessed w her and her alone so like <3

lucien - a) winery art galleries!! u know like where you go to art exhibits that have wine tastings!!!! sometimes they have those cute delicious tiny little cheeses that r just so good n fancy!!! going to that, then maybe takin a stroll around the park in the evening, then ending the night w a home-cooked meal. b) hes a touch possessive, but its all in good faith :’) if someone flirts with his WIFE he only feels it necessary that he puts them in their place and lets them know that she is, in fact, MARRIED!! like vlad, a true simp

gen - a) skatepark at night, long past closing time. its oddly serene, despite the faint threat of being caught. gen personally finds the parks lingering smell of cigarettes and weed very comforting. b) they r passive-aggressively jealous. they say theyre not a jealous type, but if the girl theyre talkin to is talkin to someone else, theyre like... ok. 😒😒😒

carlile - a) chiefin big rips then going to eat at a buffet....... he will eat so many frog legs like so fucking many!! then goin to see a movie in one of those big movie theaters and seein like a marvel movie or whatever. just somethin trite and theatrical with many, many explosions. b) not aggressively jealous, but his insecurities can sometimes get the best of him in arguments and sometimes he projects his fears that tarek will leave him for someone else, which isnt good u know but like :(( what can u do

nikolai - a) waking up with the sun and traveling to the largest museum he can find, followed by brunch at some hole-in-the-wall café tucked away in the city. the long drive home is spent listening to low-quality psychedelic indie rock, and when he and abigail arrive home, they nap for at least three hours. b) nikolai’s not really a jealous type, and abigail’s pretty clingy, so he doesn’t really have a reason to be jealous. although, when he's severely provoked, he’s prone to that tone of voice where it sounds as though you can’t choose between screaming, or crying.

klaus - a) perusing the local record shop, buying as many used vinyl he can possibly fit in his book sack, and listening to the new purchases in the dim-lit light of his bedroom while talking and napping in between. if he’s really into you, he’ll sing your favorite song—he might even play it on the guitar, too, if he can remember the chords. b) again, not much of a jealous type. most of his relationships have been nothing more than flings anyways, so he doesn’t often have the attachment to someone that would make him jealous, seeing as his relationships are often not exclusive.

anastasia - a) a long, early-morning walk through the aquarium, taking an extra long break to observe the sea turtles swimming about their tanks. she’ll gladly share all of her expansive sea turtle facts with you, if you promise to buy her a stuffed animal from the gift shop. afterwards, strolling downtown to shop in all the antique stores, then ending the date with lunch at her favorite restaurant. pls just let her talk your ear off and she’ll be satisfied. b) annie’s actually REALLY possessive, especially over her friends. she’s the type of person who will get offended if anyone else tries to say vaughn and caspian are their best friends, because, no? those are HER best friends? she’s never had a boyfriend before, but she can imagine she’d be just as possessive, if not more possessive, over someone she loved romantically. she takes from vlad :’)

ilya - a) he is literally like 1 yr old. he doesnt go on dates silly. when hes old enough to go on dates his dream date will be committing arson together <3 so romantic b) im sure he’ll be jealous af when hes older unless i forget u know we’ll see whenever he ages up yeah!!!!!!

bonnie - a) moving all the furniture in the living room, turning the radio up extra loud, and dancing to old-timey music!! then cooking a nice, healthy meal at home and watching reality tv while doing face masks. maybe ending the night w a nice bath fit for two <3 b) especially with her pregnancy, she’s been VERY jealous lately!! small things can trigger her jealousy, and sometimes she finds it difficult to be her usual, rational self when those feelings arise. luckily, it’s very easy to talk her out of this state, so she gets over these fits of jealous relatively quickly ;-;

 tarek - a) driving out into the forest, setting up tents in the middle of nowhere, and snuggling tight beside the crackling fire while watching the night settle. then waking early the next morning to go for a small hike towards the natural lakes scattered about. if carlile is too tired to walk, tarek simply carries him. :’)) b) level-headed as he is, jealousy doesn’t come to him often. it would take a lot to provoke him, and his relationship with carlile is so secure that he doesn’t really feel there’s a need to be jealous

abigail - a) midday trips to the mall with nikolai’s credit card in hand as he shamelessly lets her pick out anything she wants from any store she can possibly enter. she’s always sure to pick out a few outfits she’s certain he’ll love :’)). then going to get smoothies, yes nikolai’s paying for the smoothies too <3 b) abigail is extremely jealous, though she’s desperately trying to ease this habit. especially with nikolai moved to britechester, living with a female roommate, her jealousy often gets the best of her, and believe me when i say it isn’t pretty. she’s prone to dramatic outbursts, and she’ll even feel the urge to enact revenge (aka, cheat on you) if she feels you’ve truly cheated on her. she has to see and speak to nikolai often to have peace of mind, but even then, she often has her moments of insecurity. :((

caspian - a) watching some indie art film at a drive-in movie theater, binging on over-buttered popcorn and gas station hot dogs. if the weather allows for it, then he’ll lay a blanket out on the bed of his truck and lie back with his date, gazing at the stars, rambling about nothing. b) he’s a jealous type, but he doesn’t like admitting it. the truth is, though, it kills him to see someone he cares about with someone else. its just that he doesnt know how to express those feelings, so he often just shoves them away as if they dont exist at all. ;n;

vaughn - a) listen to him perform at one of his concerts, then let him fuck you in one of the bathroom stalls. a true romantic, i know. b) most of vaughn’s relationships are no-strings-attached anyways, so its rare for him to get jealous over a relationship thats already open to begin with. even when he did have partners in the past, he was never the type to be overly protective of his significant other

cooper - a) ok idc about cooper HAHA so like idk nobody is taking this man on a date anyways who cares. idk smoke a bowl with him in his car then go eat at a fancy restaurant that sounds like a very cooper bauer date to have yeah ok we’ll go with that b) he gets jealous but like in a baby way u know. if he thinks you’re into someone that isn’t him he’ll just bawl his eyes out and be like WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME ANYMORE!!!!!!!!! IS IT BECAUSE IM ONLY 5′6″!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes cooper it is because youre only 5′6″ im sorry short king

wolfgang - a) going around his neighborhood late at night and poking holes in all the tires parked in the streets. yes, that’s super illegal. no, he doesn’t care. yes, this is considered a date for wolfgang. keep up. afterwards, maybe he’ll sneak you up to his bedroom so you guys can watch rick and morty... cuddle. b) i feel like im gonna spoil something if i answer this fully. so. lets just say. Yes he is very jealous :)

[exvee]

today i was voluntold to participate in a COMBAT LIFE SAVER coarse.. in the event of a emergency i am qualified to save someones life... its from 0900- UTC... i go the good news(sarcasm), last night at 2000... I then announced i would draw anything for anyone on just about everything IF they take my place in the class.. ...well not everyone raised their hand at once. salty faced, they asked me why dont i want to go? "because in the morning i talk to my girlfriend... i would rather talk to her then be with more dudes.." didnt make a difference... I sat there for a bit watching wonder years day dreaming until i got up and went to the back.. didnt bother to shower.. i undressed and sent you a text letting you know im in bed, hoping your up to talk or w.e i then check my fb and twitter like theres anything to check or anyone sent me a msg at all.. i just really check to see your thoughts or what your doing. i then nvm it all when i see an update, deep sigh and wait till netflix to load up twilight zone... watch it for a bit, i got it minimized and your msgr up just incase you text me i would see it... i fall asleep. the time was 1040 i dreamt about my grandmother last night.. a sudden wake up to thinking it was 2 am, realizing i was only asleep for a hour.. i move the mouse to turn the screen on, checking if you  texted me yet.. i call, text... w.e we had our argument.. i fall asleep not feeling any better. its 130 in the am.. waking up at 6, move the mouse to see if you texted me... and i just lay there staring at the ceiling, "man i dont want to get out of bed today.." i close my eyes forcin myself to sleep, alot of "what ifs" going through my mind, i cant help but be awake. laying there, okay ****... its 7 now, lets just get out of bed, shower... put on a new uniform and start a healthy day.. be strong, its okay.. she'll text you when she misses you, give her time.. she will miss you; it will be okay.. just get up. i cant help but touch the mouse pad and turn the screen back on.. damnit... why did i do that? i look through your pictures saved, every one of them.. i try to touch myself maybe i just need to have sex, im sexual frustrated... didnt even work. fuck it, fuck this desert. rolling out of bed at 730.. i go shower... i must of been in the shower for an hr i thought, letting the water run... it was only 20 mins.. i shave, brush my teeth, comb my hair and go back to the room.. place the soaps and towel away, rub the mouse pad to check.. then get ready... iv had this one acu uniform which fits me just right, gives me the perfect slim shape; not to baggy.. its pressed and everything is new on it, i was saving it for leave in october when i go home in uniform i looked decent, trying to impress you i guess. im not going home in october, so i say wht the heck.. i need something to boost my moral. i look in the mirror, my eyes look a mess... like iv havnt been getting rest and stress... dark shadowed eyes. real heavy. i brush the hair out my face and go on my way. jesus comes in and says hey you going to chow? lets go, i grab my weapon and go. the walk to the chow i hall, i keep my head down as i walk; just so the same i see the same thing every day, take the same path, walk the same way.. see the same people.. give me id to the same guard, nod my head to him as a thank you for letting me in then walk through the same white double doors. the red tile, theres exactly 75 red tiles from the door to the sink where i wash hands, the same soap, it smells like hash i think to myself.. i smell my hands, smells like i just smoked bud take my plate and tray, i tell the iraqi 3 times for 3 boiled eggs.. i get 3 water melon slices and some yogurt.. jesus grabs the same thing but he replaces the watermelon for an apple. man i wish i grabbed an apple i say to myself before i sit down.. we sit there, and eat..  i just day dream as i eat, quietly just listening to jesus and his friend miguel talk, miguel tells me man from the looks of your plate, thats how you stay so skinny.. he was eating a greasy omelet and hash browns... i just look at his plate and nod and continue to peel off my boiled eggs and remove the dry yolk.. looking around at everyone, 5 tables away, i see a group of officers sitting together, there were 3 females and 4 males... sitting there, stuffing their face and laughing among eachother. i look in discus, i them mutter i fucking hate officers.. i see the females and i just get so much anger, i call them a fucking bitch in my head.. jesus says, hey are you okay? yeah im just tired. jesus states his conversation, man im so sick and tired of hearing about cheating spouses, it seems like thats the fling now and days.. wives cheating on husbands, husbands cheating on wives.. girlfriends fucking this person boyfriends fucking this person.. im tired of that shit, if your going to mess around and play the game then be single why waste someones time? noone is more professional than I, he chants as a joke of the creed we recite... i just stare at his mouth as he talks... then his nose, then his had gestures... what the fuck are you talking about jesus i say in my head. the voice in my head is very calm soft spoken toned voice. i eat the eggs, the yogurt and nvmed the watermelon, it was hard and to cold for my liking, we leave. walk back together, silent. same path, same things to see.... desert. jesus pulls out a red apple and bites it.. i look the apple in his hand, man i wish i got a apple i say again in my head. we get back to the shop... i put my weapon in the rack, the same empty spot on the rack i plce my dirty weapon i care so less about, "im never going to use it" i say out loud to my self... and walk to the back of the office. agnew is sitting there on his ipad, drew is sitting there with a flash light pretending its a gun as he shoots me john is on the computer looking at cars and says hey ese, im sorry i unplugged your ipod from the charger to charge mine.. i just stare at everyone with a blank look like dude, idc about none of yall.. i just nod my head as a morning greeting and back to the front i sit on the floor against the wall waiting to go to this CLS class... jesus is coming with me so it might not be all that bad. its 850 by then, he ask if im ready to go down to the Aid station, i tell him hold on. i need to grab something.. when really i just wanted to see if you wrote me back yet.. saying in my head, your so pathetic eric. running to the back just to see if she wrote you, disappointed.. were suppose to let her text us; my mind is talking but my body keeps on moving in disregards to the commands my mind is speaking out. i rub the mouse pad, nothing yet... damn, let me call... no answer... jesus comes, hey man are you ready?.. umm yeeeah, lets go.. i close the laptop as to signify thats it eric, stay off your laptop all day and leave her alone.. i grab my stuff and go. we get there, we sit.. he asks whats wrong, i say nothing.. he ask how we are doing i say good, he ask have i talked to eric i say yes, last night.. he ask hows he doing i say good.... he shuts up, from the tone of my voice he gets the drift.. i dont feel like talking.. he offers a cigarette, i decline and drink my water. the instructor comes out and takes our names down, theres 5 of us... 2 guys from A co. idk 1 guy named collier from Eco. i went to military school with then me and jesus from HHC co.. the instructor, SGT Anol... says well the class was not suppose to be till tomorrow so just com back tomorrow at 0900 in front of this door.. roger, SGT; walking back jesus says hes going to bed... not telling anyone we got released early... so i do the same.. i dont feel like being at work any way.. walk to the back, open the laptop... touch mouse pad.. i check twitter then fb to see if your awake.. so frustrated, i just activate my old fb, i need to talk to scuba or end or my family i say to myself.. i change my profile picture, click on your profile to see if your up again, sigh> i deactivate it again, pointless.. i dont want to talk to anymore... but her i think to myself. i go on twitter, i wonder who ****** was, so i checked his profile out to see if i knew him.. i notice his name lingers around so i just check. i see some photos.. i do recognize him from school.. he got fat from the face i tell myself.. he's ugly... w.e, brittany wont leave me for this guy.. what ifs then come along.. i just exit out and sit out on the pouch for a bit.. i come back in, sit in the same chair.. touch the mouse pad... still no msg.. i then call, then text you whatever comes to mind, i then start to email you my day, a vent of thoughts and actions of my boring dumb life.. you finally msg me..