#idek... that ADHD shit tbh

[stinkrascal]

even though it was buried in the tags of my last text post, that text post was the first time ive ever admitted to any of my ocs having The Diagnosis which is also My Diagnosis which means ive just somewhat admitting to having The Diagnosis which is My Diagnosis and wow that was extremely nerve wracking but it also felt nice to get it out there. this is my coming out post i guess

[the-angriest-author]

Writeblr intro

Hallooo..

not sure if I'm doing this right... tbh, idek what to put on here. Anyhow, I've been writing for about two years now (YAY!!). I mostly write poetry although as I write this most of my posts are short stories of the fantasy variety. I like reading swoon-worthy romances so if you write anything that makes me blush and kick my feet like the teenage girl I am, I will follow you and maybe stalk all your posts. If you are the grammar police I must warn you that you will be forced to arrest me after reading my posts (I'M WORKING ON IT, not really tho).

I've been on Tumblr for idk how long but I keep ghosting the app (Life and whatnot) I'm craving community, especially with fellow authors, maybe ones with more writing experience (I am a newbiiieee). Guys... I swear I won't ghost again 🤭.

And here are all my labels for all my lovely people:

She/Her

WOC

Queer (bi or pan idek man this sexuality shit aint for the weak of heart)

Retired Stoner (Moved to a place where I can't smoke)

Raging bitch (Moved to a place where I can't smoke)

Capricorn Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Capricorn Rising (Raging Bitch)

Not actually a raging bitch, just think it's funny (Please like me)

ADHD (Prone to run on sentences and overusing parentheses)

Chronically misunderstood (Capricorn)

Very Annoying (Sagittarius Moon)

Certifiably Woo-Woo (Hence the astrology references)

Not Funny (I think I'm hilarious and spent 5 minutes straight laughing at this little section)

Current WIPS

To The Stranger Who Stumbles ~ A collection of poetry written during a time of my life when I was experiencing some intense change and coming to terms with certain childhood events that were... not so fun.

Genre: Poetry

Word Count: 5953

Stage: Beta Reading (message me if ur interested)

The Mad ~ Mildred the Mad and her crew of dangerous and mythical women are charged with kidnapping and delivering the Seelie Prince to the Unseelie kingdom. But with every plan comes complications, some in the form of brooding king's guards.

Genre: Fantasy, Romance, Action

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers, Found Family

Current Word Count: 4434

Stage: ROUGH DRAFT and planning

P.S. My messages are open! Let's connect!

Published Works

The Hidden (w)Hole of a Heart ~ Literally my whole heart shat out onto paper. But seriously tho it's available on Amazon now and I would appreciate any support. In actuality, it's a story about a young woman (Yours Truly) coming to terms with her deeply feeling nature and Depression. The poems describe the heaviness of emptiness and the overwhelmingness of intense emotions.

Excerpts:

Haunted House

Feelings stick to my walls like ghosts,

How is an exorcism performed on a memory?

How do I let them pass through me?

An Apology to The Crone

Pressing my tiny fleshy palms to my ears,

I refused to hear the wisdom of the crone.

Her voice was scratchy with use,

As she warned me of my journey.

I’d close my eyes with every disaster.

The niggling feeling would whisper a wrong,

And I’d pray to God my feet were swift,

So, they could carry me away.

I’d refuse to harden,

Reasoning that beauty is only found in the soft.

I waited to be taken by my knight.

I never cared that the gleam in her armor was an illusion.

I stand unprepared for the cruel world.

Preserved in my maidenhood.

Having grown tired of disobedience, 

The crone has abandoned me.

Only now do I see the clarity of your wisdom,

I will forever be sorry.

A Terrible High

on occasion

there are quiet moments

where minds begin to fill blanks

when small things grow

rock to boulder

smashing me against the ground

flat

nothing 

2D

I’m nonexistent.

If I were nonexistent

the boulder would simply blow through

and I’d be nothing.

And I’d be okay.

[wtf-amiru]

General Information

Name: A'miru Fhey

Name Meaning: I literally just hit the random generate button until I found a name and surname I liked. I removed an h from her first name to make it flow better.

Other Names: Miru (G'raha, Thancred, Urianger, Y'shtola only), kitten (only by husbands or boyfs), gremlin, idiot

Gender: Female

Birth Name: She's entirely not sure if her name was even given to her by her birth parents, she's never known them.

Birth Date: 17th sun of the 6th umbral moon (december 17th)

Birth Place: Yanxia - no memory, was in Ul'dah as long as she can remember

Dominant Hand: right

Astrological Sign: Sagittarius

Appearance

Height: 4'10

Weight: i genuinely don't know how to estimate this bc she's so short, if she was my height (5'7) she'd be about 120-130 lbs but she's almost a foot shorter than that? Maybe like 115-125?

Ethnicity: Seeker of the Sun Miqo'te

Birthmarks: nope, just some freckles that come out when she tans and her miqo face marks

Hair Color: Dark blue

Hair Length: Mid-back

Hair Type: thick, fine, super soft, big natural waves

Hair Style: ponytail for function, down and wild for casual

Eye Color: pink, very slight cool undertones

Eyebrows: a little bit on the wild side tbh

Teeth(Ex. Cavities/dentures): I know seeker miqo aren't supposed to have fangs but gosh dang they're cute so fuck it she's got fangs like keeper miqo (fight me) and they're well looked after, however she's missing a back tooth (maxillary second bicuspid) from an accident when she was younger and probably chipped an incisor in that final Zenos fight.

Face Shape(ex. Round/flat/etc): somewhere between heart and round (face 3 for fem seeker miqo)

Complexion (Ex. Acne, blemishes.): Clear, 2 facial scars across nose and on cheek from pre ARR

Shirt Size: probably extra small tbh, she's tiny

Pants Size: 5-7, she small but she got a butt

Shoe Size: idek how small, does 5 sound right? Maybe 6?

Health and Image

Diet: boy this girl can eat. Metabolism for days. Something about all the shit WoL has to go through just makes me think that they probably have to intake more to keep up. Health wise she doesn't really have that much of a sweet tooth anymore but she does like her junk food.

Exercise: lots of squats and calf raises (normal, seated, single leg and toes in), box jumps essentially anything that targets her quads and calves, knees and ankles (all that poofing around as a ninja, yknow) and a ton of stretching and toning like yoga and pilates.

Fitness: has always been pretty fit out of necessity, doesn't take to routine well however so exercise outside of work is not a scheduled thing except for when Emet-Selch took G'raha at the end of SHB then it was dragging Thancred to 6am workouts BC she so so angy

Posture (lazy/proper): usually pretty terrible honestly

Abnormalities: well y'know, there's that whole Azem thing. Normal abnormalities (lol) just what would be referred to as "loose joints"? like her shoulder's dislocate by accident and she can just shrug them back in and she easily hyper extends her knees if she's not paying attention.

Vulnerabilities: alcohol, addiction, mild ptsd (have you seen the shit WoL has to go through?) affecting mostly her sleep (insomnia, nightmares/terrors)

Handicaps: her boyfriend lmao

Medications: ??? Magic ✨

Allergies: nope

Diseases: Chaos gremlin syndrome

Illnesses: G'raha sickness

Disorders: full adhd

Imperfections: look at all those scars

Broken Bones: probably all of them at least once at this point

Reason for Health (ex. Cigarette smoking/accidents): being the WoL?

Wardrobe: she used to dress moderately professional but then G'raha called her to the first and she recognized him right away and got frustrated about halfway through. Started wearing the shortest skirt she could find just to torture him and it stuck. Her standard outfit is skirt, light top (tank, t-shirt etc, nothing bulky) and some sort of shitkicker boot for most classes (her look is very Tifa adjacent tbh) for dark knight she wears the same armor Fray does, reaper she wears armor more on the lightweight/slender side. I can't remember off hand exactly what I put her in, I just did her reaper glam too dangit.

Accessories: she has an earring of tiny Elpis blooms from Hades and a blue crystal necklace from G'raha that she never takes off

Equipment: I guess I kinda put this up in wardrobe

Musical Instruments: she's a lvl 80 bard but does not play music lol

Piercings: just her ears

Hygiene: good when she's at wherever home is at the time, on the road is another story. On the road you bath when you can lol but otherwise yeah, she actually really loves baths and hotsprings and swimming, bodies of water in general

Makeup: black eyeshadow and lipstick

Perfume / Cologne: Soap?

Scent: ...Soap?

Scars: like freckles peppered everywhere. Big one across her right ribs on the side, on her left shoulder blade and on the front of her right calf

Tattoos: nope

Voice

Accent / Dialect: It changes a lot tbh

Voice: soft midtone

Volume: quiet

Laughter: Fairly quiet, melodic

Impediments: None

Psychology

Vocabulary: she can talk the talk if she has to but usually doesn't.

Memory: Great, sometimes to her dismay, her memory is very good

Temperament: quiet chaos gremlin, but again, can play the part if she has to

Emotional Stability: honestly pretty fucking bad up until recently. She has a support system now and the scions are like her family. Urianger has developed a Spidey sense for when he needs to bring blankets and tea and books to read but the occasions are getting fewer and fewer.

Mental Health: This girl's a wreck but she's fairly self aware and isn't averse to asking for help anymore.

Instincts: great but also impulse makes her big dumb sometimes

Philosophy

Religion: she's kicked their asses a bunch so...

Superstitions: No lol

Morality: isn't evil I guess

Etiquette: she's not rude or messy, again she'll put on the show if she has to but is def the bowl of popcorn on her tummy and slouched so far down on the couch she doesn't need to use her hands to eat kinda girl when she's at home lol

Alignment: chaotic good

Character

Priorities: her found family and obvs WoL stuff

Motivation: her found family, her boyf, and her soul's ancient husbands

Self Confidence: Yup. It's there.

Self Control: TERRIBLE

Self Esteem: It's gotten a lot better

Quirks:

Hobbies:

Closet Hobbies:

Guilty Pleasures:

Habits: bad for clenching her jaw, picks at her hands/nails

Desires:

Wishes:

Traumas: have you played msq? It's littered with trauma. Off the top of my head G'raha in the crystal tower, the scions poofing after that banquet at the end of ARR, seeing Estinien almost die in heavensward, hourchefaunt, watching zenos kill himself in stormblood, literally yotsuyu's entire storyline, the sewerside in Garlemald, having her body stolen by zenos, returning from Elpis, all of Ultima Thule, I'm probably forgetting some, (I know I am bc there's nothing from shadowbringers in here but I'm tired) but these have all fucked her up deeply.

Worries:

Nervous Tics(ex. Finger tapping, fidgeting): tremors, zoning out/dissociating, jaw clenching, lip chewing, violence

Soft Spots: literally any of the scions, G'raha and Hythlodaeus' voices, Sidurgu and his struggle to emote literally any feeling other than anger (that one job quest where he's like "I like you. I respect you. And I'll always be here for you, if you need me." literally made her cry), Hades smiling, any time G'raha is flustered, so many more

Accomplishments: Look at them all

Greatest Achievement: I guess probably saving the world

Failures:

Biggest Failure: her view of the events of heavensward are a bit skewed

Favorite Dream: the ones that aren't nightmares

Worst Nightmare: waking up to G'raha being gone, not left but gone. Like she'd dreamt the whole thing. Zenos coming back and taking her body again and people not catching it in time

Earliest Memory: not sure, it'd be after she was in Ul'dah, more thought required

Fondest Memory: idk if it's THE fondest but that first time Thancred caught her stealing when she was young is an important one (big headcanon)

Worst Memory: there's actually so many

Funniest Moment: i don't think it's THE funniest one, I'm not sure I could pick a funniest one, but the one that came to mind first was walking into that meeting with everyone in the exarch's crystal tower in that tiny skirt for the first time (funniest for me, because I hold the headcanons that made it funny as g'raha bluescreened and thancred fell into absolute confusion because she has complained long and hard about how short skirts are just not practical in combat when she was still a street rat in Ul'dah, and emet just shook his head like 'yeah ok azem's making some sort of point, i just don't know what it is yet' and urianger and y'shtola just nodded sagely in the corner. That's what makes it funny)

Happiest Moment: oof, both times she's gotten G'raha back and also getting to hang out with Azem's husbands for a couple days.

Saddest Moment: the one that affected her in the worst way was G'raha locking himself in the tower. Returning home from Elpis also really fucked her up and gave her a lot of sads; made her have to call in the support squad (Y'shtola, Urianger, Estinien, Thancred. Ofc g'raha but he's always on duty lol)

Most Prized Possession: The only 2 pieces of jewelry she wears (mentioned above)

 Most Valuable Possession: what even is money in this game

Collections: fucking boots. How many kinds of shitkickers do you need? All of them apparently. (no one look at my glamour dresser and how many boots I have for her lol)

Embarrassments: I don't know but Lianhua's probably got more than a few embarrassing stories of her, lets be honest.

Mannerisms:

Humor: sarcastic/satirical

Regrets: yes

Secrets:

Darkest Secret:

Pet Peeves:

Phobias:

(1 lowest-10 highest)

Confidence: 7

Creativity: 5

Generosity: 8

Honesty: 10

Loyalty: 10

Insecurities: 6

Patience: 4

Predictability: -10?

Reliability: 9

Respect: 8

Responsibility: 7

Trustworthiness: 10

Home, Work, and Education

House: i suppose she and g'raha are living together now? according to my writing?

Hometown: Ul'dah

Citizenship: ^^, Eorzean

Culture: street rat culture bb

Traditions:

Sleep Patterns: Probably the worst

Eating Habits: tends to skip breakfast, have a decent lunch and a massive dinner

Pets: the shaggy shoat! (I really should give that thing a name by now)

Employer: uh... Krile? Tataru? Somewhere there's probably a lala telling her what to do

Job Title: Worrior of Light?

Social

Mother:

Father:

Guardians: legit Thancred for a bit at first, no one of note before that

Siblings:

Children: None

Close Relatives: not that she's aware of

Distant Relatives: unknown

Best Friend: Estinien has been her bestest besty since the end of Heavensward.

Close Friends: the twins and a lot of other people, Lyse and Aymeric off the top of my head

Confidantes: Y'shtola, Urianger, Thancred

Friends: yes

Allies:

Acquaintances:

Followers:

Subordinates:

Rivals:

Enemies:

Inspirations:

Role Models:

Mentors:

Heroes:

Reputation: Probably had a rep for being a trouble maker but, yknow, that whole WoL thing kinda comes with it's own reputation

Dominance: occasionally

Sociability: Prefers to let people come to her in social settings

Isolation: actually struggles being alone these days, she doesn't like it

Romance

First Love: G'raha

Love Interests: G'raha, was casually hooking up with Estinien post Heavensward for a bit

Marital Status: dating a really old catboy (it's G'raha)

Also somehow married to two ancient ghosts

Orientation: disastrously bisexual (there's a reason she bully's Y'shtola on purpose. I'll let you connect those dots)

Significant Other: G'raha

Love Style: unorganized chaos

Flirtiness: I don't know how to describe it, somewhere between actually being very good at flirting and punching Thancred in the face (she's not with thancred anymore but i'm leaving this because there's no other way to describe it that's this accurate)

Turnons: wit, emotional vulnerability, soft boys, strong women, intelligence, uh...strength 🙄....(can you pick her up and slam her against a wall?), dominant personalities (I'm lookin' at you Emet/Hades, this is your fault), collar bones, hands, eyes

Turnoffs: i hate listing turnoffs bc they feel so obvious like large egos and a tendency for disrespect; things that normally turn people off.

Fetishes: we're not going to go in depth here and just leave it at "restraints welcome"

Virginity: lost it drunk in Ishgard, doesn't remember to whom

[trafficlightsaysidk]

vent (read if you want idrc but i need advice TOT)

all of my friends from my old school are moving on and making new friendgroups and i still wanna be their friends but i cant talk to them anymore bc i just dont have the time and the fact that theyre not my best friends anymore makes me wanna curl up in a ball and cry and idek if they even feel the same way or if im just the weird girl they used to be friends with and its so right where you left me bc i truly did stay there while everybody moved on and it all feels so icky bc it was a really long time coming i just never thought the day would come when i felt so dethatched and alienated from them??? i still love them all so fucking much and they really helped me get through alot and now it just feels like they dont care?? tbh i feel like they only kind of use me to have someone to talk about their interests and seeing them with their new friends on tiktok just makes me wanna cry my damn eyes out bc like that used to be me and you. like i could be overthinking or they could just hate me idk

and like the only people i thought id feel safe with kicked me out of their group bc of some shit at camp (tell me if you want a story time lmao (it was kinda my fault as well ngl)) and when one of those peoples friends and i got closeish she asked what happened so ofc i told her and now i think she hates me and i dont fucking want her to hate me bc i think shes really cool and shes the only one ive got that much with in common and im so scared i fucked what couldve been a really good friendship just bc i made the idiotic decision to tell her about it and im too scared to talk to her about it bc it comes off as desperate and shes like really close to one of the girls who kicked me out (her sisters bsf) and like i dont want her to think im a backstabbing bitch just bc i made one rash decision and bc i couldnt see what i was doing wrong in previous years

and ive got a "best friend" and she really is one of the best people i know and she also has autism and adhd so she really gets what i go through and shes all around really cool and we like hang out everyday but shes also kinda in another friendgroup that im like kinda friends with but not really in and it makes me feel a bit disincluded bc theyre all in clubs that im not and i always feel like theyre shit talking me even though i know they arent and its all just so dhwfoahda

and there's like one other girl who i met through my sister (shes 4 years older then me but genuinely one of the nicest people ever in the world ever) and shes in a group w some other kids but at production she hangs w my sis and their friend but they kinda ignore her and i feel really bad bc i wanna be her friend so bad and theyre ignoring her and she always looks a bit sad and like she doesnt have anyone to talk to (or it could be my autistic ass misreading the situation) and like i wanna be closer to her but im too scared to approach and my friendship life is really shit right now and tbh i feel like its all bc of social anxiety if anyone reads this please give me advice bc i dont fucking know what to do

[elliebear666]

I talked to my friend for a good long while. Tbh, she talked a lot so I didn't get most of it lol but it wasn't as hard as it was with my ex, so maybe that medication is helping.

Specifically, we talked about, well a lot, but we got on the topic of working and how I get disability because of my mental illnesses.

And she was like, "People have this perception that people on disability 'don't want to work' and I think that's absolute bullshit. Every single person on disability that I know wanted to work, but either couldn't find accommodating work or would lose their insurance that covers meds, etc."

And she's absolutely right. I cannot work full time because I will lose my insurance. If I don't have my insurance, I can't have my meds, and I will quickly spiral into another three year long bender of instability and manic and depressive episodes, which will in turn exacerbate BPD symptoms, and all my other problems... and I might not survive that next one. I'm lucky to be alive right now.

So, yeah, I'm terrified of losing my insurance and losing access to not only my psych meds for bipolar and anxiety + ADHD, but also my fucking hormones. Like... I can only work part time at MOST if I want to keep my insurance. And, to be completely honest? I don't think I could work, potentially ever, work a FULL TIME job again.

The stress would inevitably send me over the edge into a manic or depressive episode, my BPD symptoms would become loud again, I'd be cutting and burning myself at work, looking for places to kill myself.

Like, no Don, you stupid piece of shit. I don't feel "entitled" to not work lmao. I genuinely cannot maintain full time employment. I will very soon get back out there and get a part time job, but I will need a job that can accommodate my disorders... like, what I've I have a depressive episodes mid week and I become so depressed I can barely move or get out of bed? Like, that used to be my reality, y'all. I was... such a fucking mess.

I WANT to be able to hold down a job. You people think I fucking like living like this? You think I am choosing to fucking... pass my time as best I can as I tick closer to death because I'm terrified of my mental illness getting worse? I'm fucking terrified of things getting worse. Absolutely terrified.

If you have ever known someone with bipolar or another SEVERE mental illness, or personality disorder, then you know it isn't a choice. Like... I've had people tell me I'm "lucky" I "don't have to work." I've had people say I'm a piece of shit for not working.

Like... I don't want to live this... ffs, I don't want to live this way. I just try not to think about it tbh. Idk what to do. I'll get back out there... but I'm just terrified. Fml. Idek.

[shards-of-divinity]

Thank you so much for the info and links :) i really appreciate it. You said the map is not spoiler free. Uhm so it probably is about the novel right? Im just wondering since i want to avoid spoilers (well i dont mind seeing gifs and stuff but i dont want to actually read up about much of the plot and all u know?) So will i find spoilers for the rest/the end of the series on that map? 😅

Also about coming to you to shout about the series (i dont have discord sry) Ah i dont even know where to start im just so curious to know more :D what are your fav charas so far and why if i may ask? (I can guess one lmao but im curious about your reasons for him too haha) and since you are reading the novel (and i do want to read it too but probably only after i finish the show) do you like it and uh why? Like what do you think is well done? I dont mean to ask you for a complete review or anything dont worry, just wondering like your impression of the novel. Yeah thats probably the word i was looking for 😅🙈

Hopefully I didn't lose you taking so long to reply! I'll start tagging these "WOH Anon".

The had the sect affiliations on it for the characters too and what their roles are so that's mainly the spoiler part. (My favorite is how they literally have WKX and ZZS connected as "soulmates" 😂). That's about it.

I really loved how shameless Wen Kexing was from the beginning but there's layers to him. He definitely seemed interested, outrageously flirty but as the series progresses and Zhou Zishu trusts him more and outwardly calls him soulmate WKX is like "omg????!? I'm being perceived right now? You ALSO acknowledge the zhiji thing?" and his reactions are adorable. Gong Jun is doing such a great job acting and is just selling it for me so far.

I like Gu Xiang because she's amusing and I hope they touch on how WKX became her Master/how he inspired so much loyalty. Her fighting is cool and I like how she is thoughtful and helpful, yet still fiery at times. I want to see what else will happen to her next.

Zhou Zishu. Sigh, lol; first of all his smiles are coming more frequently and he's too beautiful to exist lol. I enjoy how he's opening up WKX and still supportive yet not letting him get away with shit? Also his fighting style/footwork reminds me a bit of the anime/live action of Rurouni Kenshin which is one of my favorite shows.

I think overall I've always liked historical dramas, costume drama, plus there's fighting, magic/spiritual power, "heroes" and the like so I'm already interested there. The actors are doing really well and clearly care about and like their roles. It might be cheaper and have issues lol but it's just fun and not only the romance/BL aspect is holding my attention. The changes from the novel (that spoilers showed so I'm not super knowledgeable cause it's episode 23 and we're only on 12 😭) still work for the series abs relationship. There's "found family" and that's always a good trope.

I have only read up to chapter 5 but I'll read more later this weekend. Maybe. I have another fic (maybe 2???) for WenZhou 😂.

[icks4van]

I’m not really as into catfish as I used to be but they’ve honestly ruined other bands for me. There is no band out there that has a better stage presence (for me personally). Van is such an enigmatic frontman and he really grips the crowd. Not to mention their transitions are *chefs kiss* so smooth! And there is no denying that they consistently produce banger after banger! I just can’t get into other bands like I was into them :(

i totally get what you’re saying !!! to me catfish exist on another plane of existence so i have a hard time even comparing them to other bands even bands that are technically similar to them (idek if that makes any sense lol). they’re such a live band more so than i think a lot of bands are these days like they literally put out records just to play them live. the songs are written to be played live and even sound exponentially better live. van is an effortless frontman like i want whatever he’s taking bc jfc. YES THE FUCKING TRANSITIONS i’m a whore for that shit and there’s definitely an art to doing it right so mad props to them for nailing it. also yeah they have hella bangers like people always go “blah blah all catfish songs sounds the same” and to that i say who the fuck cares the songs are banging if it’s not broke don’t fix it bitch ya know the vibes. the worst feeling is realizing you’re not as into a band as you used to be god i know right. tbh i’ve never liked anything a normal amount ever in my entire life (adhd bitches know the vibes) so i’m always obsessed with one band or the other but catfish have consistently been that band for me for a while but trust me i do get it.

when the lads play live

[thotsupport]

ms heathcote turn on ur location i just wanna talk. i just wanna talk

im so fucking disappointed by the new episode. it was bad.... an episode of KILLING EVE!!! was bad !!!!! do u know how fucking awful that is.... how hard that is..... it has not had a single bad episode or even like bad MINUTE. 

rest is under a read more bc i have adhd and dont know how to explain my thoughts in less than 1000 words. this is a rant post ladies be warned of spoilers ig. its long 

ik everyone was worried about the writer change and we had a reason to be... this show walks such a thin line w its humor and all of its characters, esp eve and villanelle. so it was always going to be like, whoever gets put in charge of new seasons either gets it or they dont. but wow! wow huh

idek if i should be blaming ms heathcote, phoebe and emerald for leaving, or whoever signed off on this shit bc whew !! it sucked . that first minute of the wedding reception scene hit and u knew that things were off and this was rly not going to be what we hoped. they hyped us up for the wedding shit but it was absolutely pointless, when they couldve done SO MUCH w it. and that rly set the tone for the whole rest of the ep tbh

characters are ALL so out of character, stale as shit, and have basically been made into caricatures of themselves. the new characters that have been introduced have no substance. i think the most villanelle-like thing v did in the entire ep was pour the shop owner’s spice bag onto her face to mock dasha. and we’re really supposed to believe she thinks she killed eve? the top tier assassin we’ve watched for 2 seasons who kills people for a living? that  didnt sit well with me since the trailer, like it just feels unrealistic and contradictory as hell to their whole relationship. maybe we’re being faked out and she knew all along, which would be great !! but this first episode does not give me any hope for that bc it requires some decent writing

and now they kill kenny??? in the first fucking episode?? like ok maybe sean delaney said im signing out bye, which is like ok cool fine, so they had to write him out. but like THAT ? when he started hearing noises i went “if they kill kenny rn i dont think i can forgive them” LET ME HONK MY NOSE REAL QUICK. i sat there for like 5 min w my hand over my mouth. a cheap ass no build up death scene out of nowhere, just for shock value. is it crack? is that what you smoke? that entire sequence was so fucking bad. sloppy.... the predictability......my dvr cut off the last min so i had to look it up later, but what i imagined the ending was like ended up being right to a t, which is rly sad!!!. i do not write for this show! i should not be able to guess the end of the episode down to the song they use!! 

they tried to set his death up w whatever he was finding out online, but sis.........what a mess. and kenny was p much the only one from the first seasons they did a decent job of writing too 🙄

every interaction between characters, every character’s actions, the tone of every scene, the humor, the weird location cuts, rushed sequences, no build up or payoff to anything trying to be established...... mess. all of it fell flat.

anyway.... killing eve fell victim to change of writers combined w the classic ‘we already have a loyal established audience so we dont have to try as hard’ downhill slide. i hope the season gets a lot better from here but that first ep doesnt make me too hopeful. like am i going to keep watching no matter what? yes! i am a clown!! i want to see what happens. the cast will always be amazing. but let’s not pretend it was great

i probably sound harsh as hell but i do not care !! not a bit ! this show has been so fucking good and of course im going to be upset if it gets fucked up. miss 2020 rly came in and said we get nothing this year huh. not one crumb

[mental-health-advice]

Submissions from 🦚🌺

So took me a while to scroll through to my last tagged ask (for some reason searching didn’t work). So much about staying consistent and actually tagging my stuff from now on. Gosh uff. The one where sibling found possible drugs and the one about mom being xenophobic almost causing shut down as in passing out were me too. I usually either tend to forget to tag or I guess am kinda scared since I feel I send in A LOT? I really don’t know. It’s just a lot going on and I feel bad always (1🦚🌺)

I feel bad always throwing all my stuff at my friends. Especially as one friend a few years ago was diagnosed with depression. Idk what her current situation is tho except that she seems to do better. I won’t ask her since I feel weird about that stuff. Plus really unless she wants to tell me it’s none if my business. But yeah that’s that I guess. Now… I’ve been rejected from the art college/highschool unfortunately so that’s out the window. My therapist suggests volunteer year 2🦚🌺

Whivh we have a social and economic one of I think? Idk. I know social won’t work because of my likelyhood of social anxiety which kinda self explanatory I guess. Economic I’m just scared I wont be able to pull the whole tear through, scared to do stuff wrong etc. Hell I spent 2 low sleep nights crying after the rejection and mom forced the answer out of me when I clearly didn’t want to talk about it. Turned into an argument about how I got forced into abitur/regular highschool 3🦚🌺

And OBVIOUSLY she blames dad for it. Which like… great whatever he told her. My point is HE was more supportive in front of ME than she was. She just tore me down 2 years ago. Next week I dont have a therapist appointment since she will be moving. So I’m praying this week will go by smoothly. Well as smooth as it can go with all the arguments around here I guess. I’m still trying to process everything since March 4🦚🌺

1? 2? I’ve lost track of time … weeks ago she and her bf fought very badly and she essentially ran away for an hour, he claimed he is leaving but then stayed. My younger sisters were all crying, my brothers were just not surprised and I had to try call family members (which calling others is a physical challenge for me) trying to find a way to deal with what happened. My therapist knows about this incident. She now also knows moms bf smokes weed but not about what 5🦚🌺

else we found. I’ll see if I can bring it up soonish since it still worries me… my brother also later confirmed again he caught them snorting it so yeah most likely we are right about it being cocaine. I feel uncomfortable looking up the effects of it but my cousin said that could explain a lot of moms behavior. Shes always been this way I think.I right now dont even remember where I was going with this ask chain hhhh frick.I’m loosing track of myself once again please send help 6🦚🌺

(Have to switch to browser because app again refuses to let me send stuff wtf) My mom also is back onto “oh you just have split personality!” … I have informed myself on DID and OSDD, I have symptoms yes. But I doubt it’s that. In fact my therapist even talks about that stuff with me! I have different parts but mom doesn’t know they exist so idk. I tried to literally tell her how DID is made and she didn’t want to listen. She claims she did almost everything right and I’m making up 7🦚🌺

My trauma. So you would think that she would stay away from assuming such a trauma heavy diagnosis. Welp she actually doesn’t know anything about mental health either way and legit took my brother off his adhd meds years ago because “they changed him too much” and then refused to take him to appointments when we noticed signs of tourette in him because she felt like she fucked up as parent?? Wat?? I can’t make sense of this woman anymore tbh 8🦚🌺

Sorry that this is all over the place, it’s 1am for me rn, I cant sleep really, still am trying to process I won’t see my friend who I was looking forward to seeing this year for 2-3 years and who would have been a temporary escape from this hellhole until at least another year or 2 depending on the situation, being in the top 10 corona countries and in fact second most infected state in germany and really just switching between sliding down to a kid and /or almost passing out 9(?)🦚🌺

almost passing out when trauma responses shut me down and I just can not describe my emotions of the past months other than I just want someone to hug me and to feel safe and to feel like this mess at home and the world isn’t happening. My mind is all over the place and I feel like at this point I’m going insane and I’m not making any sense anymore. Again sorry for the probably stupid rant/,vent that probably made no damn sense idek anymore - final🦚🌺

So much about what I sent in yesterday hoping for the best. 3 hours ago I woke up to a message chain about how we (me and my siblings. We are 6 in total) apparently abuse her and use her. And basically just complaining about the tiniest things regarding chores. For example yesterday I completely cleaned the kitchen and she complained because some dishes stood around since people still ate AFTER I did the chores. Like tf. My friends say it seemed like from the screenshots that she is 1🦚🌺

using us as tools? Idek anymore. She also completely ignored me sending her and asking her stuff about the valounteer year last night since the school rejected me and I need that alternative. Apparently a clean flat is more important than my literal future. On the other hand I for once had a normal conversation with my almost 15yo brother (I’m almost 19, however not mentally and also not in the position to move still especially with the virus and all) and it turned out that he shares 2🦚🌺

Moms views on therapy whivh I’ve mentioned in the past aren’t really the best views on it. So yeah that’s just great. He basically just thinks it’s stupid. Either way. Currently my only way of possibly getting away would be a psychiatric /mental hospital stay. THING IS while I’m bety aware it isnt like in the movies I am deadly afraid of the thought. Not having my freedom to come and go when I please, not being able to meet up with friends or something etc. I would not feel safe and 3🦚🌺

it would just expose me to a lot of stress and anxiety which wouldn’t be any better than being yelled at constantly at home and having mom shit talk my friends. Everything is just kinda a mess with her rn and my siblings don’t see it from my perspective. Like YES we mess up and don’t do things right. She has a reason to be mad. But NO she doesn’t have the tight to essentially abuse us and no her behavior isnt parenting this is manipulation. 4🦚🌺

They only see the first half and think she’s in the right… I myself struggle to differentiate right and wrong and am unable to read situations well, which is why it took me 17-18 years and my friends calling it out to realise this is wrong. But I at least listen… they don’t. I sometimes just wish I grew up in a stable functioning family. Or honestly that she never even had me since she was VERY young when she had me so that’s probably why she never learned how to 5(?)🦚🌺

Act properly towards us. As she had me when she was just my age (18) and then the following 8 years had 4 more of my 5 siblings. I feel she never had time to grow up and learn herself especially considering she was abused herself…. final🦚🌺

Hi 🦚🌺, 

It's good to hear from you again! There's absolutely nothing wrong with messaging us often, so feel free to tag all of your asks that you send in! I think that will actually make it easier on both of us, as you'll be able to find responses easier and I can look back on your previous asks easier to make sure I'm not missing anything or repeating myself :) Also, the search function on tumblr is quite picky, so unfortunately it can be hard to find posts. I've run into the same issue with locating old asks on the blog as well! 

It's understandable that you don't want to bug your friends with your problems, especially if they have some mental health struggles of their own. However, it might help to think of it this way: mental illness is so common that chances are most people you meet will have some sort of struggle with their mental health, which means you wouldn't be able to talk to anyone about your struggles if you don't want to bother someone who struggles with their mental health. That doesn't seem fair to you! While everyone needs to have boundaries, especially to protect their health, I think it's reasonable to share things with your friends when you're struggling. You deserve that support, especially with everything else you have going on in your life! 

It must have been devastating to not get into art school and I'm so sorry that happened! It does sound like volunteering could be a potential route for you to go down, even if it's just until you figure out what you want to do in the future. It makes sense that certain volunteer options can be rolled out based on the nature of the work and the things you struggle with. Perhaps there is something you could do from home that wouldn't trigger your anxiety. For instance, I volunteer for a text-based suicide hotline, which I do from home. I'm not saying you have to do something exactly like this, but it might spark an idea that you or your therapist maybe haven't thought of yet. It's just something to think about. 

What's going on with the drugs in your house is definitely concerning and I think it would be a good idea to bring that up with your therapist. It's really dangerous to have these kinds of drugs around with younger kids being there. Not only is it possible for kids to accidentally get into it and harm themselves, but it's also dangerous for them to be around adults that are high because of their erratic behaviors. This is why I think it would be wise to talk to your therapist about this to see what input she has. 

It's great that your therapist has talked to you about your diagnoses as well as what you don't have that your mom has tried to say you have. I'm sure it's frustrating to have your mom make those accusations, but I think it's good that you at least have your therapist there to reassure you that you don't in fact have those diagnoses. 

It's so disappointing that your friend won't be able to visit as you guys had planned because I know you were really looking forward to that! Unfortunately, coronavirus seems to ne ruining plans for most people all over the world. Hopefully you guys will be able to come up with another plan for meeting up, though it likely won't be able to happen until the pandemic is more under control. Still, at least making tentative plans for meeting in the future may give you both something to look forward to once travel is finally safe again. 

I'm so sorry that your mom treats you and your siblings this way. It does sound like she may use you guys as tools, as your friends put it. This is sometimes another sign of abuse/neglect, which honestly isn't surprising considering all of your mom's other behaviors.

What you mentioned about getting out of the house makes sense and I agree that an inpatient stay might not be the best way to go about it. Not only will that be more restrictive, as you mentioned, but most hospitals won't allow inpatient stays unless the person is incapable of keeping themselves or others safe while receiving outpatient care (though I obviously don't know whether this is the case for you). I still think it's a good idea to keep thinking about potential ways of getting out of your mom's house once you're ready for that. One option I'm wondering about is a group home (I think these may be called something else in other countries but it's basically a house where several adults with varying physical and/or mental illnesses live together and there are usually various types of staff who also stay there). These can sometimes be a bit restrictive, but much less so than a hospital would be. I believe they typically have a curfew, otherwise you're allowed to leave during the day. Although I'm not sure if this would be a viable option for you (and it probably wouldn't be anyway until after the pandemic is more controlled), it's just something that popped into my head when thinking about other ways of eventually getting you away from your mom's abuse.

What you said about your mom's parenting vs. manipulation is 100% accurate. It's very common for someone who was abused by parents to go on to abuse their own children unless they put in the effort to change, but know that you still don't deserve to be abused and manipulated. It's not your fault that your mom was abused and never unlearned the negative behaviors she saw experienced as a child. You and your siblings all deserve so much better than this! 

-Samantha 

[labyrinthus-magici]

🔥!!!

Was looking at my muse list to think of something that stood out but since I couldn’t pick one I’ll just go w something that affects a lot of them but anyway like 

As an autistic person I personally thing the large majority of the magi/snb cast is autistic coded! The fandom as a whole (although it’s not just the magi fandom tbf it’s kind of all of them I’ve been in) ignores that a lot! 

I have seen autistic Judar before which is VALID but it’s really frustrating when Judar and Morgiana are the only two you see (and Mor as an afterthought) bc they’re the ones with the more “stereotypical” traits (i.e Judar being antisocial/struggling with empathy which is probably due to trauma and not even his autism considering that. studies show that it’s allistic people who lack empathy for autistic people usually and not the other way around but I digress!) and I’ve been told that other characters who are autistic coded can’t be bc they’re like idk??? competant lmfao??? I don’t get when allistic people say a character can’t be autistic bc im like lmao good to know you know every autistic experience and trait! Maybe you can educate me on my own disorder that you don’t have bc you clearly know so much about it that you couldn’t possibly be overlooking something! 

Anyway my muses that I intentionally play as autistic and some of their main traits are bellow the cut bc it’s lengthy (The others I’m probably going to accidentally autistic code bc I. am autistic and it affects my writing but ahiodfhg)

Morgiana: Mor is a pretty obvious one, although I do love her autistic coding! So like most of these characters but with Mor esp you have to keep in mind that she canonly has c-ptsd (post traumatic stress disorder but when it’s not a single traumatic event but living long term in a traumatic environment such as an abusive home or any other variation) so that affects how many of her autistic traits present themselves. I do think that she’s become very good at masking (i.e hiding autistic traits) due to them being punished and because of that she is exhausted because masking is very taxing. I think that she started to unlearn this considerably once she joined the caravan with Leila’s encouragement but it was subtle bc while she did become close with Leila and Sahsa she didn’t open up entirely. 

Once she gets to Sindria though and starts opening up I think that she’ll relax a lot because she can see others with the same traits who don’t have to hide them. Masrur especially points out that it’s important for her to stim and because she’s not the only one who deos this, everyone is understanding and accommodating at times when she’s non verbal/not able to speak.  

One thing that really stood out to me about Mor is her hyperempathy. Because she doesn’t talk much, it’s hard for some people to pick up on, but Morgiana often has strong feelings of empathy for others. At first this is something that she struggles with, because it’s something that others have taken advantage of and used to hurt her, and because she’s afraid of her emotions as a whole. Later though, she learns that this can be her strength. Morgiana’s most powerful moments (in my opinion) like when she rescued Nadja, when she confronts Alibaba about the consequences of what the fog troupe is doing, and many other instances, are very emotionally charged. She’s also the first to empathize with the pirates that Madaura has brainwashed, and is able to get the others to empathize with them too. 

Morgiana was my first favorite magi character (the reason I even got into magi in the first place tbh) bc it was so empowering to see someone with many of my traits in an empowering role of a hero because of those traits and not just with them as an afterthought! 

Masrur: I’m going to focus on snb just because that’s what I’m more familiar with as I haven’t read the parts of magi that Masrur is spotlighted in in a long time although honestly all of this stuff applies to Masrur later but it presents itself differently because whilst autistic people never grow out of their traits, just like anything in a person, it changes and becomes more nuanced as a person gets older and gets more experience. 

But Masrur is another autistic coded character! A lot of his traits can technically be explained away by canon/plot details however in this house we don’t  think that because there’s technically an argument against autistic headcanons that it’s at all valid so ANYWAY 

To start we have the way he sees himself as different from others, the way he goes to sit by himself because he feels like he can’t fit in with everyone, how he’s not like them, how he’s just a monster with a single purpose that’s already been fulfilled. Normally, I wouldn’t count this exactly as an autistic trait however Hinahoho is the one that comes to talk to him because he can relate to this experience which is autistic coded so! One thing that’s a common experience in autistic people is feeling quite literally inhuman, usually in the form of an alien, fairy, or fictional character (as it was in my case). This is becuase of the isolation that we normally face in childhood. For Masrur, he feels different from the others, like who he is isn’t someone that would be wanted and that’s something that I can relate to quite strongly. It’s not until he comes to the Sindria trading company, a place full of Neurodivergent coded characters (the ones that aren’t autistic coded are coded as other disorders as well such as ADHD and BPD among others I don’t think there’s actually one person  there who’s neurotypical considering that. The entire theme of the Sindria trading company is that they take in people who are outcasts and in need of help and usually those people tend to be ND.) that he comes to realize that he does belong and that he is valued. 

In addition to that we do see him stimming or doing stim like behaviors at times, he sometimes is talkative and others seems mostly or entirely non verbal, he tends to misunderstand social queues, struggles with subjects that he’s not interested in, etc. 

I think it’s super important to take into account Masrur’s autistic coding because Masrur gets to be HAPPY. Like, yes, he does experience a lot of traumatizing things, but by the end of Magi he still has his family, he’s happilly married and a good father. These are things that people think autistic people can’t have or don’t deserve, and we never get to experience this things in character’s that are canonly autistic. So for me seeing an autistic coded character with such a positive development was something really positive, it’s the same way for a lot of these characters, seeing so many autistic coded characters getting the development that the deserved was what drew me to magi inittially if I’m perfectly honest. I didn’t know it at the time bc I had no idea I was autistic until last year (coincidentally from autistic friends also from this fandom!) but it really was what drew me in. 

Hinahoho: Oh God where do I even START with autistic icon Hinahoho? I think, out of any snb characters Hinahoho is the most heavily autistic coded. Like there is literally no other explanation for his character I can think of whenever I see him I get so happy bc I’m like!!! Yes!!!! Autistic dad!!! I love him!!!  

His backstory first and foremost focuses on his separation from the rest of the people in his tribe because he has unconventional interests (art!!) and that he isn’t able to pass the test and become and adult at the proper time. To start, being a “late bloomer” in things (or alternatively doing things too soon in some cases) is a common autistic experience. A lot of us due to many reasons (mostly due to ableism and lack of accommodations) we aren’t able to do the things that our peers do at the same times like drive, attend college, or move out of the house etc. This isn’t a lack of competence just that we aren’t able to go about things in a way that we are able to thrive in, and this is exactly what Hinahoho’s development highlights! He never does pass the warrior’s test in the way that is most traditional, instead Sinbad (whose an Adhd ND icon if you ask me but I haven’t added him to my muse list yet so aidofhg more on him and the other adhd icons in this series later ahidofhg) mentions how there’s multiple ways to be strong, how he doesn’t have to do things the same way as everyone else to be worth something. 

There’s also the ableism that he faces from others in his tribe. In addition to judging him for not having become a warrior yet, he is bullied by others and treated like a child when he shouldn’t be. The others are so unkind to him for being “different” and “weird” and having “a personality like a fish left to dry” (WHATEVER THAT’S EVEN SUPPOSED TO MEAN LMAO I STILL DONT GET IT) that in his introduction he starts sobbing bc Sinbad said thank you to him like. Like God can I relate to this, honestly his experiences though not exactly the same as my own deeply resemble how I was before I found out that I’m autistic. 

Then, after he learns to love and accept himself and marries Rurumu (Oh!! That’s another thing, people acted like he was unlovable but Rurumu always loved him. He never had to change who he was or mask his autistic traits and that’s SO important because honestly I can’t even imagine someone who isn’t also autistic wanting me romantically especially when I see shit about people taking autistic people to homecoming and calling it “inspiring” and “selfless” and a “learning experience”) he then turns around and teaches others to do the same. I noticed that he becomes very close to both Drakon and Masrur who are both autistic coded and he helps teach them to love themselves like??? LIKE???? and with Masrur he literally points out that he can empathize so points for hyperempathy again. I’m loving how many magi characters have hyperempathy that is ultimately good. Bc it’s usually a weakness in character’s that have it. 

Drakon: Honestly once again idek where to start when his entire development is deeply autistic coded but we’ll start with his backstory. So to start there’s the power imbalance between him and his (neurotypical) siblings. Whilst he is the youngest, I think that the reason that he’s unfavored in the family and is the one always catching shit is because he’s autistic. This is something that happens so often is that when an autistic child has allistic siblings the allistic one is favored or if not favored they definetely get treated better because autistic children are particularly vulnerable and easy to manipulate. With Drakon’s childhood, although again the circumstances in my case aren’t exactly the same, I really am seeing my past self. 

He was from a young age branded as a prodigy, told he was already basically an adult even though he was still a child, and this is so common with autistic children who show a semblance of talent in something. However, he isn’t praised for this in a healthy encouraging way, instead he’s given the responsibilities and expectations of an adult already. In addition to that, he is conditioned to mask his autistic traits, in addition to being taught to devote his entire self to his cause. The fact that he internalized everything so deeply that he had a breakdown when he realized that he wasn’t wanting to die for his cause, that he thought he had to follow everything to the letter all the way down to his deepest feelings, is in my opinion an autistic trait as I showed exactly the same traits for other matters, internalizing things at the same intensity. He social scripts quite a bit, meaning that he has a strong sense of “this is how things SHOULD be so if they AREN’T this way then everything is in RUINS and we have to fix it IMMEDIATELY” he has the roles he’s been given and he strongly believes that everyone else has a role. This does become far more healthy once he’s unlearned the toxic things that he was taught but he still does it, but in a healthy way. Everyone has a role to fulfill, and he’s strict about this, when people aren’t doing what they’re supposed to be becomes irritable and struggles to keep functioning as normal. 

Then there’s the fact that his entire development is learning as a teenager that he’s become a monster, literally in this case, learning that he is hated so much that he resolves to leave his humanity behind, only to gain love and acceptance and learn to love himself in the form that he takes. While I don’t think every monster is autistic coded (as that would be problematic for obvious reasons) developments like this resemble our experiences so well? It’s a perfect metaphor for what it’s like, honestly. 

One reason I think that it’s important for me personally to acknowledge Drakon’s autistic coding is because he’s a strong leader and people think that autistic people cannot be leaders, that we’re incompetent. So to see a character with my traits be someone noble, to become king even, and to thrive is something super positive for me because again it’s something that people think we cannot do that we cannot have but we really can. 

Leila, Sahsa, & Nadja: With these three it’s mostly projecting just because we don’t see enough of them for them to really be that autistic coded HOWEVER tis my blog and you get to hear all my hcs asdfgh. I like to hc these three as autistic 1. bc Leila and Sahsa’s relationship is beautiful, and to contextualize that as a romance between two autistic women is really nice for me who as I mentioned before struggles to ever see myself having a love like that. 2. Leila and Sahsa take to Morgiana and encourage growth in her and I like the idea of them helping her to relax a little on hiding her autistic traits. 3. Because as an autistic person it’s difficult for me to interpret characters as not autistic (where not autistic is other’s defaults for me autistic is the default, so it would be more accurate for me to say I have some allistic headcanons rather than autistic ones lmao) I actually started headcanoning Leila as autistic by accident because I wrote a fic where she had a shutdown (which is when there’s too much stimulants i.e sound or sights etc. and we have to go lay down and rest and shut out the stimulants that are bothering giving us sensory overload.) and was like oh!! Time to make both her and Sahsa autistic bc who’s gonna stop me lmao. 

Also one headcanon I have for Nadja (in addition to her joining Leila and Sahsa’s caravan with her family) is that after Morgiana rescued her she developed a special interest in adventure and heroism which is really cute on one hand bc she always wants to learn stories of heroes from the locals of the places they visit and her parents are like aw she’s talkative sometimes! She’s making friends!!! But on the other hand she tags along on Leila and Sahsa’s “oops lmao just fought an entire band of thieves again” adventures and is that “Let me see what you have!” “A KNIFE!!” “NO!!!” vine so ahidfohg be careful u fuckin superb lil baby. 

Myron: Hers is a bit shorter since we don’t have a whole lot of her in canon, but her strict following of perceived social standards and social scripting makes me headcanon her as autistic. I also like the idea of her being autistic because so often people think that we can’t be proper or socially conscious but more often than not we overcompensate, the deal is that we struggle to understand neurotypical social cues not that we hate socializing. 

Titus: Oh man I shouldn’t have put him so far down on my muse list bc this one is going to be lengthy. There’s a reason whenever I info dump about my son to people that I always call him Autistic Gay Icon Titus Alexius.  

I’ll start with the fact that he struggles in social settings, i.e Sphintus thinking he’s so fuckin awkward at first. (Even tho I hc Sphintus as autistic too but like I said autistic is the default for me ahidfg) He has a special interest in magic, evidently, and is very info dumpy about it as times (though not as much as notable autistic icons Yamuraiha and Ugo). Also his best friends are Sphintus and autistic adhd icon Aladdin so like. Convenient. that the three most autistic coded kids at school becomes besties. asdfgh. Also none of the 4 magi are allistic tbh. 

ANYWAY that aside and glossing over the whole separation he feels from the others (which I could go into length but it’s similar to Drakon and Masrur’s and Hinahoho’s deal and this is getting so long already oof) can we just talk about how fucking POSITIVE his Hyper-Empathy is for his character and the story? 

Okay so like. Let’s start with the 5th district, how after just a little while there he immediately jumped into action with LMAO TIME TO BLOW A HOLE IN THE SKY IM BUSTING EVERYONE OUT LADS. Like. Was it dumb? Yes. Was it noble and valid? YES! And he STILL SHOWED UP TO CLASS READY TO FIGHT THE NEXT DAY. He also tried to call out Mogamett how many times? And still stood his ground with the 5th district, even when Mogamett tried to manipulate him by saying he only cared out of his selfish desire to befriend Marga, he immediately analyzed himself critically and came to the conclusion that no, he really just wanted everyone there to be safe and happy. 

Then, when he goes to Reim and Just. Hhhhhh HE’S SO GOOD. AND HE HAS SO MUCH EMPATHY. The fact that he immediately begins changing things, is firm in that, but his main motivation is that he so desperately wants everyone to be safe and to live happily, the fact that his people’s problems are by extension his own because he feels real pain when others feel it. That’s hyper empathy and though it’s something that can be manipulated he doesn’t let that happen, he uses it for good! 

When he gives his speech about why they need to abolish slavery in Reim asap, he begins to cry and exclaims that any one of them could die tomorrow, that they need to priooritize the people that are in the now who are suffering that they have the power to help their people and to liberate their country and appeals to everyone’s emotions that way and breaks through. Also the other changes he makes?? Like making the Colosseum into a LARPing spot? That’s so fucking good? What a nerd? I love him???? 

I can go into more detail with Titus but for time reasons I won’t but. We stan Autistic Gay Icon Titus Alexius here. 

If you read all of this I love you sm thank you for reading this rambly mess. ahdiogfg 

[commanderclexaarmy]

Living with ADHD, Bipolar and asperges can be very difficult sometimes. Like I'm a triple threat...but I'm a triple threat...to myself 👌

[ao3feed-klance]

Just Getting By

read it on AO3 at http://ift.tt/2nGcDD4

by MackieBoy

Lance has always wanted to meet his soulmate. It’s been a dream of his since he was a small child. But by now he’s starting to wonder if his soulmate even exists. After years of trying and trying to get a response to the greetings written on his arm, he’s just about given up all hope. Just focus on school so that he can transfer to a four year, flirt with cute girls (and the occaisonal boy), get rich and do what he loves, whatever that turns out to be. It seems like a solid enough plan for a Go With The Flow kinda guy. Until a bit of a... complication... arrives, throwing him off balance and bringing up old dreams of soulmates and true love that he’d long thought sufficiently quashed.

AKA the super over done soulmate au where you write on yourself and it appears on your soulmate’s skin that literally everyone writes at least once (I’m going for it anyway)

Words: 1351, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Lance (Voltron), Lance's Family (Voltron), Keith (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron), Allura (Voltron), Hunk (Voltron), Shay (Voltron), Rax (Voltron), Coran (Voltron), Pidge | Katie Holt

Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)

Additional Tags: Minor Allura/Shiro (Voltron), Minor Hunk/Shay (Voltron), Slow Burn, Slow Burn Keith/Lance (Voltron), Soulmate AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, klance, Lance probably has ADHD, every Keith I write is autistic, tbh, Angst, Light Angst, Grief/Mourning, Spoiler Alert: Keith’s parents are fucking dead, Keith is lonely, Lance is too, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Everybody is a mess, Hunk (Voltron) has anxiety, None of them are good at confronting their problems, lance’s sister has soulmate issues, it affects Lance’s outlook, idk - Freeform, you’ll find out later, How Do I Tag, idek, sorry - Freeform, it might get angsty for a bit but no worries, nobody gets kidnapped or any shit like that, just some inner turmoil and coming to terms with feelings and stuff, Half cuban/half american Lance, Half japanese/Half american Keith, Please read this I’m dying for feedback

read it on AO3 at http://ift.tt/2nGcDD4

[feraldavestrider]

i never check my mentions apparently @alpacalmond and @uiyutrentasei tagged me in a GTKM thing so im gonna do it oh uhhhh 2 weeks later LOL because i cant sleep and i hate myself

i tag @hal-strider if they didnt do it? and @noctiilucent, @kiyumiarashi, @whimsicmimic and @ataliaf uwu and anyone else who wants to do it!!

how tall are you: this is a cryptid question. i get a different result every time i try to measure myself and ive never asked anyone else to do it for me. some people tell me im very short, others have told me im average height for someone who is afab. im gonna hazard a guess at 5′5 tho.

what colour are your eyes: very dark brown

do you wear contacts and/or glasses: glasses. i literally CANNOT see without them. i mean like 2 inches from my glasses-less face is so blurry its unbelievable. i get super triggered by eye stuff tho so contacts are a no go ALSO i look weird w/o glasses anyway.

do you wear braces: no my teeth r p good actually. one is a bit wonky but thats life

what is your fashion style: i mean 90% panties and a sweaty 4 day tshirt because i just spend all day in my room like a goblin. BUT when i actually go out im ur basic ass post-emo trans dude with skinny jeans, converse and a too-big graphic tee. sometimes i spice it up with a plaid shirt because im fuckin GAY.

when were you born: october 12th 1999, babey

how old are you: 18 motherfucker flashes my titties and gulps a bottle of vodka im an ADULT

do you have any siblings: yes. a younger brother and hes a cunt

what school/college do you go to: im at sixth form rn (last yr of highschool technically if ur american but im not and hs finishes at 16 yrs old here deal with it). im going uni next yr tho and this years almost over for me academically since we go on study leave soon for our final exams. uwu overshares

what kind of student are you: the asshole who never studies for tests and does homework at 5am the morning before and still manages to pull straight As to everyones anger. im also the adhd class clown who makes random noises and cant concentrate half the time. ik i hate myself too im so annoying irl even more so than online.

what are your favorite subjects: in terms of actual content of the subject, english lit fs. in terms of classmates/teachers/general atmosphere DEFFO drama we spend half of our time eating cake, singing random shit and just losing our minds while filming it on snapchat which shouldnt at all be allowed.

what are your favorite movies: god idek. um. fuck. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i cant think of a single movie. ok ok ok i got it: white chicks, premium rush, scott pilgrim vs the world, the cornetto triology too i just love edgar hes such a great director. i like a lot of the marvel movies esp the spiderman hc and thor ragnorok and both gotg were p good. i love a lot of movies my brains just a void that sucks memories up into its fat gob and steals them from me forever.

what are your pastimes: sleeping, crying, used to be rping but i gave up on that, playing overwatch way too much and getting tilted because im shit, reading fanfictions did i say sleeping

do you have many regrets: dude. my guy. come in close. let me whisper in ur ear. are you close? no, closer. ok. 

YES

what is your dream job: whoo boy. im do indecisive and i think a LOT of jobs seem super cool that id never do i.e. be an actor or be in a band. my dream job since i was like 8 was to be a writer which is unlikely since i cant even finish a pwp oneshot. but thatd be cool. id also like to write plays and direct them but thats also wild and v dream > reality. 

would you like to get married: honestly. marriage as an institution? angers me. i dont like a lot of things about it. BUT. part of the reason i hate it is honestly if ur in a long long term relationship with someone ur better off married than not in terms of the benefits so. id happily get married if the other person wanted and/or we felt like it was the right thing to do, i just dont really care about being married or having a wedding tbh.

do you want kids? how many if so: no. hard pass. i might adopt if im long-term with someone who SUPER wants kids but that likely wont happen because i dont want to get into a long-term relationship with someone so desperate for kids since i dont have that same enthusiasm. sorry. ill be ur uncle gabe but im not having my own children im just not well equipped to literally have a full time job of making sure little idiots (meant affectionately) who dont know fuck from shit dont just straight up die. i can barely do that for myself.

how many countries have you visited: shit dude actually ive only visited like... uh... 4??? a lot of my holidays tend to be to the same countries (portugal/america) so i dont have that much experience like i feel like i do.

what was your scariest dream: hmmmm. when i was a kid i had these recurring dreams where i worked at this like. “zoo” where these MASSIVE, i mean ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE string rays that were also pancakes were like. hooked up to make electricity? anyway i hated the job because we all abused the rays super bad to make them generate the power and it sucked and it was all dystopian. there was stuff where like we had to kill the baby rays and stuff. anyway one day it went all planet of the apes and they broke out somehow and could fly and they killed loads of people and i had to go into hiding because they were super clever and could id who had worked at the zoo plant and wanted revenge. its super weird ik but this is pretty tame for my dreams they go HARD and BIZARRE and this one always made me wake up feeling super sick and scared idk. ur welcome.

do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other: no im lonely but its ok because i need to work on me 

put your playlist on shuffle and without skipping the first 15 songs: ok so i dont really have a “playlist” per se so im just gonna use my top 100 2017 songs on spotify which ignores a lot of my non-spotify non-2017 bangers but whatever.

1) ‘My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark’ by FOB

2) ‘Tuxford Fall’ - Vasudeva

3) ‘Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn’t Get Sued’ - FOB

4) ‘Fried Noodles: Getter Remix’ - Pink Guy, Getter (listen ive never watched any filthy frank he weirds me out but this is a banger)

5) ‘Brick By Boring Brick’ - Paramore

6) ‘Thnks Fr Th Mmrs’ - FOB (i really dont listen to this much fob this is crazy)

7) ‘Death Note L’s Theme Goes Metal’ - Charlie Parra del Riego (theres no defence for this)

8) ‘Turnstile’ - Vasudeva

9) ‘Idle Worship’ - Paramore

10) ‘Monster’ - Paramore

11) ‘Miss Missing You’ - FOB

12) ‘The City’ - Madeon

13) ‘Far Too Young To Die’ - P!ATD

14) ‘Don’t Stop’ - Nothing More (really this is the band i listen to much smh these results are so skewed)

15) ‘Smile Like You Mean It’ - The Killers

[ao3feed-voltronlegendarydefender]

Just Getting By

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2nGcDD4

by MackieBoy

Lance has always wanted to meet his soulmate. It’s been a dream of his since he was a small child. But by now he’s starting to wonder if his soulmate even exists. After years of trying and trying to get a response to the greetings written on his arm, he’s just about given up all hope. Just focus on school so that he can transfer to a four year, flirt with cute girls (and the occaisonal boy), get rich and do what he loves, whatever that turns out to be. It seems like a solid enough plan for a Go With The Flow kinda guy. Until a bit of a... complication... arrives, throwing him off balance and bringing up old dreams of soulmates and true love that he’d long thought sufficiently quashed.

AKA the super over done soulmate au where you write on yourself and it appears on your soulmate’s skin that literally everyone writes at least once (I’m going for it anyway)

Words: 1351, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Lance (Voltron), Lance's Family (Voltron), Keith (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron), Allura (Voltron), Hunk (Voltron), Shay (Voltron), Rax (Voltron), Coran (Voltron), Pidge | Katie Holt

Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)

Additional Tags: Minor Allura/Shiro (Voltron), Minor Hunk/Shay (Voltron), Slow Burn, Slow Burn Keith/Lance (Voltron), Soulmate AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, klance, Lance probably has ADHD, every Keith I write is autistic, tbh, Angst, Light Angst, Grief/Mourning, Spoiler Alert: Keith’s parents are fucking dead, Keith is lonely, Lance is too, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Everybody is a mess, Hunk (Voltron) has anxiety, None of them are good at confronting their problems, lance’s sister has soulmate issues, it affects Lance’s outlook, idk - Freeform, you’ll find out later, How Do I Tag, idek, sorry - Freeform, it might get angsty for a bit but no worries, nobody gets kidnapped or any shit like that, just some inner turmoil and coming to terms with feelings and stuff, Half cuban/half american Lance, Half japanese/Half american Keith, Please read this I’m dying for feedback

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2nGcDD4

[flappyfluellen]

! For Fluellen and also the Constable

awesome!!

fluellen:

sexuality/gender: Very Gay dude. i also sort of see him as gender non-conforming, probably because a woman played him in the first production i saw! i don’t think he really gives a shit about gender tbhOTP: gower duhNOTP: idk?? pistol or something i guess??BROTP: henry!! they are Palsunusual pairing: i lowkey ship him with exeter because of the “magnanimous as agamemnon” speechneurodiversity/mental disorders: fluellen is so neurodiverse honestly. he’s definitely got autism/ADHD, and probably some other stuff too.random headcanon: his real name is llywelyn but all the english people just called him fluellen because they could pronounce it

the constable:

sexuality/gender: definitely a guy. probably gay but who knows tbhOTP: with Orléans lolNOTP: the dauphin?? idekBROTP: orléans. partners in crime.unusual pairing: i feel like it’s probably unusual to pair him with anyone lolneurodiversity/mental disorders: hmm i don’t know him well enough to say…random headcanon: pink glitter

[asaspro-blog]

Fortnite saved my life *literally*

New Post: https://fortnite.asas.pro/fortnite-saved-my-life-literally-2/

#fortnite #game #fun #esport #news

Fortnite saved my life *literally*

Alright I have never really opened up publicly about this topic other then to some close friends, family and people who deserved to know because it has also affected them. So tbh my life is pretty fucked. I have depression, anxiety, adhd and I find my life hard. I have been depressed for two or three years now and I’ve also been on medication for a bit but idek if it’s helping. I go to doctors and shit to make me feel better but something I can always depend on is fortnite. I had attempted suicide a few months ago (so age 15) but I guess I’m a bit better. The reason I say fortnite has saved my life is because school is tough for me mentally. I’m still on track to graduate and I’m still getting A’s but I hate it with a passion and it makes everything worse but I can also think of it as when I get home I can play fortnite and relax and if I’m ever feeling suicidal I can go play some fortnite or even just thinking about the next time I can play will make me feel better. I just wanna say thank you to this wonderful game as it has done wonders for me and I will forever love it. And I hate to ask for upvotes but it would be appreciated because if an epic employee saw this it would be great for them to know they are making people better and happier:) I was quite uncomfortable writing all of this. But I love the community and the people in the game that I think it is right. I’ve had strangers congratulate me on wins and I’ve done the same it’s just an amazing thing. So thank you fortnite and thank you epic 🙏

Edit: Thank you all got the tremendous support this is actually insane. Is there any advice from you guys because an epic employee actually saw this post and messaged me but he has not gotten back to my response. Should I wait or is there a better way to contact him? If you shoot me a message if you know anything it would greatly help. Thank you all so much for the support 🙂