#going to drown myself in the lake!!!

[nocontexthorriblehistories]

if anyone comes across a spare ticket for the Ghosts season 5 screening at BFI on September 19th, please remember your good pal @nocontexthorriblehistories

website crashed, phone line on hold for >45 mins, sold out within 5 minutes of members presale 😭😭😭

[bizarreandjarring]

just an old hick goin' fishin

plus kim "i am winning at fishing. something which is both normal to want and possible to acheive" kitsuragi

ref

[ferociouslycreativemystery]

The fucking veterans' event. I'll never get over this. He needed to see Havers again but he didn't have the right qualifications. Experience had taught him the layout of the mansion however, so he snuck around the back, because he knew that reality expands beyond the established rules of engagement. He'd been shown that those rules would still be enforced though, so he stole a mark of the approved experiences—ones which he'd never had.

He enters the room, and the same way he was able to sneak into the house he sees there's a path through the crowd to reach Havers. But he is inattentive of his environment and draws attention to himself, causing him to be challenged to prove his belonging yet again—only this time, he has moved beyond the pale and is thus forced to follow through with evidence to back up his pretence. Of course, he has no experiences to pull from in that regard.

"The Captain" is nothing but a facade walling off a soft man from a hostile environment. He has no home to provide him shelter behind what appears to be the front door. Tearing it open is the equivalent of pulling a turtle from its shell; without it, he cannot weather the world.

So when they all push through uninvited, he perishes. His soft heart breaks from the strain of exposure.

Kicking in the front door reveals this unexpected sliver of actual reality, ungoverned by the rule book. The tables turn as now it is the others who are left fumbling for what to do, their legs cut out from under them when suddenly deprived of their precious rules.

Except for the officer who's seen both sides, who did build a lawful home, yet who also knows the Captain. He rushes forward to bridge the long established, newly exposed gap between reality and fiction. They are pulled together by the joint store they put in the truth, in spite of propriety. And possessing the means to do so, Havers will protect what he cares about, be that a people or a person.

He declares the impostor to be a peer in everything but name by demanding medical attention for him, and kneeling halfway to his level, he speaks with him as close to equals as the situation will allow them to be. He affirms the final truth which risks seeping out for everyone to see while still guarding it, wrapping a gentle bandage over the open wound to spare the Captain from bleeding out completely: I know.

And then, as a final comfort, in place of the impossibility of open affection, he redirects the Captain's hands to accept a part of his own shell that he willingly offers up to help rebuild the one which kept the Captain safe all these years, up until it was cruelly torn away in what was to become his final moments.

How starved is the man who can hide behind a swagger stick?

At long last, heteronormativity finally did kill the Captain. Nevertheless, Anthony affirmed that in the face of it, James did still exist, and despite the violations he faced, he had a right to do so on his own terms. He might never have become a hero, but he was always a brave man. His circumstances gave him no choice.

[orangechickenpillow]

I wonder if forgiveness is the only response Aziraphale thinks he can safely give to things he doesn't understand. I wonder if he always tells Crowley that he forgives him when Aziraphale really wants to say he loves him but still thinks it's wrong or impossible.

I wonder if he says he forgives him because, in a way, that's the closest thing he can get to saying he loves him at all.

I wonder if Aziraphale gives him forgiveness because it's the one thing he's always wanted from heaven but never been given, and he doesn't want Crowley to ever feel like he does.

[cheeryknots]

Regulus “all my jokes are cries for help” Black

[natequarter]

i think if thomas had or chose a traditionally feminine name it would be ophelia. thank you for listening

[miallurk]

In these days i realized i like art and writing and creating and shopping and taking walks and talking to people and cleaning and helping and studying and doing things but i'm just. too stressed, tired and burned out to do them. How great!

[gallyseyebrowpencil]

I want to drown myself in the lake….I AM SOBBING. YOU KNOW WHEN YOURE CONSTANTLY CHECKING THE CHAPTERS ON A FIC. WELL I JUST CHECKED AND THERE IS ONLY THE EPILOGUE TO GO….

WHAT DO I DO NOW??! YOU EXPECT ME TO CARRY ON WITH LIFE???!!! WHY WOULD I DO THAT WHEN THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE IS OVER?! WHY?!

r.i.p

My mental stability

2005-2023

Me rn:

[vaguelysaunteringdown]

“Nothing lasts forever” Oh yeah? What about my eternal sorrow at the ending of the season 2? What about that?

[stede-foking-bonnet]

GIVE ME LUCIUS OR GIVE ME DEATH

[crimeronan]

after doing my usual lap swimming tonight i dove off the diving board a couple times and god there really is nothing like the deep end of a pool. the local pool is 12 feet deep which is deeper than anywhere that i've swum before (that's a non open body of water) and just. sitting at the bottom in the silence and the stillness with the weight of the water pressing down on you and looking up and seeing the lights and the surface so so so far away bc you are down in your little alien world and everything is calm and quiet and empty and still. i have been chasing this for nearly 27 years. when i was a kid i asked to buy a scuba tank so i could lay on the floor of a pool for an hour.

[ferociouslycreativemystery]

The Dead Captain's March

See heavens peeled back by the setting sun In diurnal battles nocturnal peace won I've learned there's a sensible order to things A shape widely dubbed as the making of kings

Hearing the pendulum restlessly swing Compelled by the constricted coils of a spring Moments stretched out so transparently thin They'll tear at a brush from the tension within

Smell honey so sweet where it's held in the comb The richer the gold the more guarded its home To grow is to fold as to not break the mould Sincerity cloaked leaves the mantelpiece cold

Taste only the glass, its contents long gone A leftover cast without use on its own Reminder of what has forever been lost Proof much like misspeaking, silence has a cost

Feel the rays finally fade from your cheek Their warmth soon rekindled, a smile starts to creep In peace after battle a truth is revealed The need for a border is freedom concealed

[fleshdyke]

have you considered replacing "im going to kill myself" with "Im going to drown myself in the lake" ? (permission to ignore this if you don't think it's funny)

oh yes this is good. youre the only funny one on this post

[avian-tardis]

i just finished chapter 40 of crimson rivers and i’m about to have A Meltdown how dare you do this to me just rip my heart out of my chest like i’m the one who went into the river i am Not Okay and i never will be how DARE you i cannot. i know it will get worse before it gets better (it had better fucking get better) and i will not survive

[chronomally]

I usually send a fistbump at the end of Conquest rounds, but the other day I played against (and beat, thank god) someone running a Galactus/Alioth deck and I think that's the only time I've ever wished for some kind of thumbs down/go to hell emoji

[killerchickadee]

Couldn't figure out why I'm just like, super bored and want to do things but can't and actually don't want to do anything at all, but god I'm so BORED, and then I realized.

Lol oh I'm depressed.