#idk if anyone following me is active anymore but in case you are...

[midnight-pluto]

If that's the case then could you do a Connor Stoll x GN reader (angst, Riordanverse, and one shot form)

The plot could go where Connor tries to get with reader by using pranks or jokes but every time he does this, it actually pushes them away and reader keeps on getting tired of it (,because of how often he does it), so they tell Connor to just leave them alone and how they don't even want to talk with him.

Note: this can be for the follower event but idk if it's already full.

(You can change parts of it to fit your writing and to make it more angst)

Thank you

“JUST JOKES” — connor s.

TROPES: angst

UNIVERSE: riordanverse

PAIRING(S): connor stoll x gn!reader

WARNING(S): swearing, takes place during the pjo series, mentions of injuries, implied character death

A/N: the hardest part about making this one-shot was finding a pic of connor

THE MOMENT YOU arrived in camp and Connor spoke to you, he felt something.

Despite you arriving to camp with cuts and scrapes littering your body he still found you pleasing to look at. Never had he thought such things could still make someone so easy on the eyes.

Though Luke was the head of the cabin, Connor found himself tagging along during your tour of camp and making small jokes about a story that happened there.

And that’s just what they were, small jokes.

At least, that’s how they started.

“Hey Y/N, want some gum?” Connor tilted his head at you with a smile while you were taking a break from volleyball.

Shrugging your shoulders, you put down your water bottle and took the gum. Unwrapping it you see it’s empty with the words:

‘lol you thought >:)’

Written on the inside.

You look at Connor with a deadpan look as he laughs at your misfortune. You throw the wrapper back at him with a small laugh, “You suck.”

Small jokes. That's how you wish they stayed that way.

How many years had it been since you arrived at camp?

How many years have you remained in the Hermes cabin?

How many years had it been that you’ve remained unclaimed?

How many years have Connor’s unrelenting jokes have remained?

Too long.

It’s been too long you’ve stayed at camp, full of constants you loathed.

Connor’s so-called-‘jokes,’ the Hermes Cabin, each day passing by with no glowing symbol above your head showing that the gods cared, you loathed it.

Especially with Connor joking calling you an ‘honorary Hermes cabin member.’

It was just a joke you told yourself. Everyday. Every night. You reminded yourself it was just, a joke. But everyday it was just a reminder that you had the unfortunate gift of being a child of a god. What a joke.

Scaring you by grabbing your shoulders every capture the flag game despite being on the same team? Just a joke. Putting sugar inside a bag of chips he offered you? Just a joke. Tugging your hair every few minutes during dinner? Just. A. Joke.

It was hard to actively avoid Connor when you both shared a cabin, but choosing activities he hated was easy.

“Hey, you avoiding me or something? You didn’t show up to sword practice,” Connor asked while you were sat on the sandy beach, watching the sun set.

“I switched out. Got into archery,” you reply dryly, not bothering to look at him.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t wanna talk to you anymore and I don’t want you talking to me,” you snap, sharply glaring at him who visibly leaned back, “You’re jokes are annoying and you’ve never been funny. Go do the only thing your dad’s known and good for, errand boy.”

You looked at him with a harsh look one last time before walking away from him and into the woods.

That was the last time anyone’s ever saw or heard from you - the aftermath of the battle of the labyrinth.

Until now.

Connor eyes were wide, irises trembling at the sight before him and palms sweaty, but not because of the sword he has held for hours. But because of the person standing before him, “Y/N?”

The eyes looking back at him were full of apathy and void of the twinkle that made him fall in love the moment he first set eyes on you.

You adorned bloodied armor along with golden dust coating it along with an iron grip on your sword, “Connor.” The way you spat out his name made it seem as if it were profanity, hurting him even more.

“Why?” Connor choked out.

“Why what?” you rolled your eyes as if his question was stupid.

“Did… did you leave camp because of me?” he looked at you with sad eyes, catching a glimpse is sympathy on your face before it being wiped back to neutral as if it were never there.

You scoff, “As if I’d leave that place because of something as petty as you’re shit jokes.

“I left because I was sick. Sick of being a faceless kid in a nameless crowd of unclaimed kids. Unloved kids. Kids who their godly parents who thought of them as a joke.

“Always the claimed kids siding with the gods. Must be nice knowing the parent who cursed you with their own burdens,” your voice broke as you spoke, having held back your own thoughts for so long.

“It’s not to late,” Connor desperately told you, an attempt to repent you and his past actions, “It’s not to late to side back with the gods. If we win the war I’m sure the gods are sure to acknowledge you-“

“And then what?! Even if I were to be claimed by them my brothers and sisters would be dead. Gone!” you yell back. “And at my hands as well,” you rasped out, grip tightening around your sword, “It’s to late for me.”

Blinking your tears away, you exhale before running at Connor and swinging your sword at him until the world turned black.

A/N: dunno if the added angst worked, but if it did your welcome! or sorry, for making angst and for a short one-shot

[hencheri]

yeah, tell me you have no empathy without telling me you have no empathy :) I’d suppose you don’t even stan nct so why you ended up here idk, but this isn’t a moment to fight!? and over that, absolutely fucking not. like, you can’t deny the fact you’re attacking me/trying to pick a fight because why you are bringing up other groups and their silence about palestine? this is a WHOLE different situation. we’re talking about a man who is involved in a sex crime and we know this is 99% true with how sm handled the situation. this is not about kpop. this is not about who’s better as a stan!?

now about the members being with him, I mean, just how you said it and brought it up, I know you don’t stan or used to stan nct, whatever your feelings are. you have no concerns whatsoever, you use skull emojis like it’s a big fat joke, and it’s even brought up as a mocking way. the concerns about if they knew or not is valid, after all we were all shocked by the news and disgusted to hear that, especially from a member like taeil who we would have confidently said wouldn’t ever hurt a fly. but obviously, we thought wrong and we don’t even know how to process this (again, he was immediately kicked out of the group by how serious the case is. nobody saw it coming). but you clearly don’t care about any more potential offenders, as long as it’s not your faves, right? idk, this reaction is just straight up vile im my opinion. I know disgusting people are using this in fan wars as usual because they have no sense of morality, but seeing it in my dms? by one of my own followers probably? yeah, just shows me some of you are really devoid of any empathy. you don’t care about the victims, like I just answered an ask that was sympathizing with taeil and literally not believing the victims, and you tell me to calm down?? ofc I’m not calm like half the people right now because they learned that the person they liked is in fact horrible and has hurt people in the most cruel ways! I just stood up for what I believe in and it’s that no matter what, victims should be believed. this is not rumours about dating, this is not ‘pick a side’, the only right thing to do is not support taeil in any way and show that you believe the victims. give your support to them and to SA survivors in general.

and lastly, how is fanfiction promoting nct? like, am I getting a bill by sm for doing it? idk why I’m specifically getting laughed at by you and attacked when we’re more than that in the fandom, right? or am I the only one? idk. let’s repeat that taeil was kicked out of nct. he is no longer doing activities, he will not appear anywhere, like basically sm do not want to do anything with him anymore which is good!! that man doesn’t deserve a career. I don’t even think he’s gotta get money anymore, but in the end, I wasn’t giving him a boost or promoting his ass by writing fanfiction about his members. idk why the entirety of nct should be brought down too, saying they knew is just speculations and honestly speculations can be very harmful too. the news are fresh, and I’m still sick about it. idk why I’m getting attacked by randos on the internet for still having fics up on a blog that literally has 200 followers. like idk what’s your goal, but it’s not as truthful as you think it is. it’s not helping anyone and surely not the actual victims. dw, I saw your other ask and it’s just stupid and insensitive. I’m very serious rn, and I honestly don’t think you are. I wrote a lot but idc, this is not your silly ‘gotcha’ moment, this is real lives that have been destroyed by someone famous who deserves jail time for all the horrible shit he did.

[angeldustanalog]

oh hii, i'm angel!!

28 in human years, he/him femboy faggot OwO

18+ - NMIK - proship positive - every trigger ever

landmine boy, polysubstance lover, actual whore.

tbqh, at this point i don't really know if i'm Angel Dust Hazbin Hotel in like, a kin way, or something else. it's not RP, though. either way, i'm here, i'm cute, and i want attention.

xxflutterinax is where i follow from. my 'hard kink' blog is xxfluttertrashx but i don't really use it anymore. both blogs do have my older nsfw OC, if you're interested, or if you somehow become parasocially obsessed with me and need more material for your wank bank.

you can find basically all of my posts here (some are quotes, so not entirely literal OC. it was totally 100% my idea to curate them this way though so um yea that's gotta count for something, i think)

♡ content directory + explanation of trigger tags under the cut ♡

Directory:

visuals:

'art'

memes and edits

photography

gifs

scripture:

creative writing

shitposts

kink/sex related:

text

visual

personal:

vent/diary if you want to be gay about it

selfies

lore

kin(?) stuff sans angel dust

angel stuff

hellaverse stuff

off-site lynks:

linktree

Ao3

i do my best to tag triggers on *my own* posts with the 'tw (trigger)' format (or 'cw (trigger)' on occasion) but there will be things i forget to tag right away, there are times i am posting while intoxicated and won't think about tagging until later, or even things i just miss entirely. i consistently post about things typically considered 'triggering' , so please keep that in mind if you decide to follow.

common themes that i try to give TWs for include trauma/SA/abuse/traumakink/abuse/hard kinks/'icky' kinks/fetishized non-diagetic kink scenarios and dynamics/violence/blood/drugs/sh/sui/unreality/extreme emotions.

please note i ship valdust, and not in like, a critical way. so be aware.

this blog was initially for the angel dust hazbin hotel part of my brain (idk exactly what i mean by that im not really sure if its a kin thing or something else) but it seems that is just how i am most of the time now so this the blog i currently am most active on. yes i am mentally ill in case you were wondering and i post about it a lot.

sometimes i post other kintypes/characters whomst i am to whatever degree-related things here, not just Angel Dust and not just Hellaverse. sometimes i sort them by tag, sometimes i don't.

69 points to anyone who made it this far!! you can redeem them for a neat prize if you save up enough of them :3

[offbrand-deltatraveler]

Final Thoughts:

Idk how anyone can call Heartcatch one of the best seasons of all time unironically this shit is literally the Jewelpet of Precure

It had a lot of cool concepts and cool characters and cool overall vibe but I can’t bring myself to finish it because the pacing of the story and the way that new information is introduced is always so abrupt and rushed. I tried to ignore it thinking it’d get better later but after it was revealed that Yuri was Cure Moonlight I realized that this season shares all the problems I had with Jewelpet Unlabaled: You have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen at any time because there are no mysteries or foreshadowing or consistently pre-established information to go off of at any point, the show always spoonfeeds you all of the lore in one fell swoop instead of letting you slowly piece it together, and the story moves way too fast for you to get invested in anything. It’s Episode 15 and we already know that Cure Moonlight is alive, who she is, where she currently lives, the fact that she’s just a normal-ass teenager who goes to school and makes breakfast and cries about her daddy issues rather than the legendary figure she was implied to be,

This is not how you keep a story alive. You have to keep your cards close to your chest because if you put them all face-up in the middle of the table but just keep adding more cards to balance it out then the story’s gonna be unnecessarily bloated and will end up deviating so far away from what it was supposed to be that there’s not even any point in following it anymore

And that’s not even getting into how it’s stupid that there even is a Cure Moonlight in the first place because the most interesting aspect of her was that she’s dead but lives on in how the story is only able to happen thanks to her haunting the narrative. Like her significance was that she’s there and not there at the same time but the devs had to ruin that because here at Toei Animations we absolutely fucking loathe good writing

And also there’s the fact that Dark Precure was introduced way too early because she keeps beating Tsubomi & Erika into the ground only to be interrupted at the last minute because they’re not strong enough to deal with her yet but at the same time the devs can’t let them die. If you’re not even gonna let her go all-out and let the Precure beat her fair and square then what’s even the point of having her yet? The one interesting thing she did about “Ruining the Precure’s reputation” hasn’t even come up once in the last 3 Episodes because the devs were too busy rushing the reveal of Cure Moonlight’s identity

The only thing I’m looking forward to at this point is figuring out the identity of that guy who keeps stepping in to save Tsubomi & Erika and that alone isn’t enough to keep me invested because 1. That curiosity is majorly outweighed by how the rest of the story tries its hardest to prevent you from caring about it in any capacity, 2. It’s probably going to be exposition-dumped in the next 5 seconds anyway, and 3. This guy is literally completely irrelevant to everything and only has a 20% chance of appearing once in a Blue Moon. Cure Muse’s reveal took a really long time too but at least she was a regular occurence and actually felt like a character and you had other things to look forward to in the meantime but in this case the rest of the plot is actively crashing and burning and the one thing keeping you interested in it doesn’t even exist half the time

And also the way that this season has no themes whatsoever is really stupid because what do you mean

The side-theme of fashion and beauty is generally more prominent than the main theme of flowers:

-“Floral Power” comes in the form of a line of glitter

-The Precure use perfume to transform

-Tsubomi and Erika form a fashion club together

-Erika’s parents running a fashion shop majorly outweighs the significance of Tsubomi’s parents running a flower shop

Cure Marine has nothing to do with flowers:

-Cure Marine’s connection to flowers is her theme of water but she has nothing to do with water and almost drowns in it in Episode 14

-Cure Marine’s main attack is an explosion

-Neither of the Cures’ attacks have anything to do with flowers and the ones that do are just named that and don’t have any flower-themed visuals

Darkness has no connection to the thing it’s based on:

-Dark Precure is copied from Cure Moonlight when Moonlight is already the dark mirror of Sunshine

-The counter to Floral Power is Dark Power when darkness and flowers have literally no correlation

-It would’ve made infinitely more sense to do away with Dark Power altogether and instead make Dark Precure themed around deforestation

tl;dr: Heartcatch sucks. I like the characters and sense of humor but anything beyond that completely falls flat

On Twitter people get harassed over not liking this all the time and when I finally go to see what all the fuss is about I’m met with garbage. In the time I wasted waiting for this to get good I could’ve finished Kira Kira and Hugtto and been watching Miracle Universe by now

[wannabeelittle]

hi friends 🥲

well… in case anyone is curious, which they arent but still, i am pregnant! i found out in august and im due in april. so no, i am not active on here although i wish i could be. i am trying to eat enough for me and my baby and ive succeeded without gaining too much weight. for reference im 5’3”, i left this acc weighing around 103 and i am 7 months pregnant weighing 124-ish. i think about coming back a lot. i want to very badly some days, but i need to prioritize my babys health. he is more important. also im just not going to accomplish what i want to by r3strict1ng when i am as pregnant as i am lol. but im actually very excited to come back… if i can give birth in march-april and have a sk|nny summer body by june/july that would be all i ever wanted. but, since i got pregnant me and my boyfriend decided to move in together so restr|cting is going to be different now,, he works 40 hrs a week so i have some leeway in that respect but i still have to track calor|es and stuff all day and i dont know how to do that without being caught. and ive told him about my e-d but only once or twice in passing so idk if he will remember or be worried about it, but if i get caught he is going to make sure i am eating enough so i cant risk it. im just so ready to not be pregnant anymore so i can do what i want again. since im so close to my due date, ill be active on here to collect inspo and things but i will not be actively ‘participating’ until after my baby is born. :,) if anyone wants to follow me ill follow you back because ive been gone for almost a year

[tsunflowers]

Is it just me or does the toku fandom feel kinda… dead recently? In the last 1/2 year or so we've lost 3 gif makers and 2 artists due to harassment (or doxxing&assault in one gifmaker's case), it just feels like a lot of people are kinda drifting away from the fandom or not wanting to interact as much as they used to because either they're scared they'll get targeted too or they just don't want to be associated with such an infamous fandom that continuously seems to be having this problem with no one even trying to find a solution. Idk, I just feel like it's been kinda quiet or tense or something, especially since there is a lot of "don't reblog from that gifmaker, they did something but idk what, so for no reason I hate them and you should too or else" which doesn't really help anyone except cause further problems for no reason. Obviously, given the circumstances, I don't blame anyone for losing interest in being part of the tumblr fandom though, almost everyone I liked on here either has left or rarely if ever posts toku anymore :/ But it's my favourite media so I'm just pretty bummed about the state of things.

I actually don't feel this way at all. in fact, some people I know just recently came back to tumblr/tokuposting. I have seen a lot of people move to twitter but there are definitely active toku fans on tumblr

but more than many other fandoms this is one where it feels like "the fandom is me and the small circle of people I follow" so if the people you follow stop posting it does feel like the entire fandom is slowing down. compared to other fandoms where there's always new people and it's so popular as to be inescapable

[quaranmine]

Hello! As a Canadian who lives near the summer wildfires, I have never directly experienced a wildfire myself, but have had to deal with the yearly smoke that covers my city for a few weeks to a few months all summer. Some years are certainly better than others (there wasn't any smoke last year whereas this year has been one of the worst), but the smoke is becoming more of a constant issue to deal with. My family used to go away on summer holidays to a particularly wildfire prone area, but we've stopped going after two years of our holiday being ruined by smoke and even a fire close to our campsite. Couldn't even go to the beach for more than an hour. A few years ago we went to a small town that had the thickest smoke I've ever seen in my life. The people standing right next to me appeared to be hazy even though they couldn't have been more than a meter away. I took a picture right off a dock where we were staying, which I'm happy to share.

An interesting trend I've noticed is that people here are becoming more apathetic to the smoke? Like a few years ago on a smoky day there would hardly be anyone outside. But right now when I go out there are tons of people exercising, walking, and socializing despite the unsafe conditions. I think people here are tired of the smoke ruining their summers and are more willing to ignore it so they can enjoy themselves. My parents say that the smoke here during the 80's wildfires was worse, but I find that hard to believe? Idk.

Anyway I've really enjoyed hearing you talk about wildfires over this past little while! Hopefully things get better here soon but I'm fully expecting that the rest of the summer will be smoky here.

thank you so much!! especially for the photos :0 that's definitely some heavy smoke. it looks just like a foggy morning, but it's more ominous when you know it's smoke instead. i'm sorry your summers and summer activites are ruined by smoke.

i think people in general are experiencing environmental fatigue--literally every day there's some new thing on the news that's actually toxic, new (bad) climate news, new natural disasters, new environmental disasters, new water quality issues, new chemical studies, etc. for many of us, it's our entire lives. people are just tired, and the apathy is part of that. it's also why there is so much environmental/climate doomerism--people just think there's no point in trying anymore. so i can absolutely see that people might not care as much about the smoke anymore. especially following the pandemic, where a lot of people feel like they were robbed of doing activities and want to power on no matter what risks still exist.

unfortunately, apathy about environmental risks do not remove them. it's something i have to think about in my job, because many people are just like. you're telling me i have to worry about something else now too??? but like....yeah, unfortunately they do, because in some cases only knowledge and education will protect people and inform them on how to act.

that's a long few paragraphs to simply say: don't let fatigue of constant fire and smoke risk cause you to stop taking precautions, because it can and will still harm you.

i really feel for all of you in canada this summer, everything i've heard has sounded awful. the fire season this year is really bad.

[burned-lariat]

I don't like it when consequenses and plot armor are used so frequently it takes me out of already terrible stories where because of said issue I can't enjoy the 10% of GH that is enjoyable: the commercials.

TJ is so forgotten they only let him out to prop Millow and save a life or two then throw him back in the dungeon. Reduce stable bumb and give that fine TJ more air time. Hardly see Molly anyway. Wasted talent. I miss Shawn too. Bring on Gia and the Wards and Wu family. Get rid of hatman the clarinet Curtis Stella can stay.

I thought we would be leave behind all this nina nelle story. Instead we gotta watch it be reborn and grow several heads into a new Wallow cancer miracle paternity reveal story being talked about for another five years. My head hurts. 😫

How many active cases is Sam working on at once. Speaking of Dante looks like he needs a day off, when is that other dude gonna be his partner again or wait isn't there a new detective 🤔 idk

Wrap up some of these old tired beat up walking dead stories. Ooh zombies!

Good thing the v day wedding of doom is vastly approaching.

Pound puppy joss will soon have dex licking her wounds when cam gets done raking her over the coals. Yay! Hope Trina follows suit and Spencer nearby.

What in the world is blq doing? noooo this is not hsmtm, whyyyy? Thank god the Wallow crisis stopped her from further embarrassment. She needs new friends too. Fortunately lovesickness is incurable. I hate this story for her endgame or not.

I'll say it, Wallow needs intensive therapy. Her sanctimonious soul-sucking and cult upbringing trauma would be much better suited for hour long sessions with Kevin off screen. I still won't like her tho 🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏾‍♀️

Ava and Spencer being allies is not a surprise and a welcome plot point indeed.

I will NOT accept Harrison milhouse bradshaw growapair Chase glorify Millow in any way shape or form. Their dynamic is crippling. No amount of sunshine Chase brings will take away Millows dark force energy, I can't stomach them interacting anymore. Nope I'm not buying GH pushing this fakery on me. Get Chase new friends too. Soul sucking sea urchins is what they are.

Free dex cam tj blq sasha chase and anyone else I forgot

LMFAO you're right. And yep - lack of consequences + plot armor = no payoff and no joy. Why do you think a lot of us lament Benson stories?

Agreed! More TJ & Wus, less Curtis & LSB.

Yeah it's all so bad and these writers can't come up with a new idea to save their life, like they can't even have a unique, new spin on a redone story.

Sam never works, but at this rate, she should be Dante's new PCPD partner. Sante trying to solve crimes? I could be down for that!

Why have Dex comfort her when he can stand there and watch her take it before he gets some shots taken at him for his behavior? He doesn't deserve as harsh of a dragging as Joss, but he deserves a dragging.

Both Chase AND Brook are being done so dirty. This pop-star story is utter rubbish, and Chase should hate Millow for what they did to him. You're right - Chase won't make Millow "fetch." And I agree - Willow needs therapy more than anything else. She needs to be deprogrammed from the Benson cult so she can have an identity of her own, and if Independent!Willow still hates Nina, then so be it. The Bensons ruin their partners, I swear to God...

Yep. Free all those people and then some!

[byyliss]

(TW: SENF HARM AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE)

Today I was extremely close to relapsing, its been 4 years since I s*lf harmed, and today I scrambled to find any blade I could use, I found it, but decided to talk to my boyfriend. He managed to calm me down and talk to me, I'm calmer now, but I'm keeping the blades near just in case.

I need to stop and talk about it to see if anyone has that experience and can help. I just need someone to listen.

So if you follow my page you know I'm currently unemployed and struggle with college, I hate it, and hate going there. Idk if it's burnout, depression or anything else, but I can't stand being there and just want to take a break. My parents who I live with, don't want that (the college is free btw, they don't pay or anything) saying that if I do that I will never go back because they think I'm a quitter.

They said many things, including that they didn't believe me when I said I was actively looking for a job, when I was, and I constantly talked about it. They think because I didn't spend every waking hour looking, and took breaks, that it meant I wasn't looking at all.

The yelling, the frustration, it led me to break down and cry, which to them, it aas me playing the victim. Even afterwards, my mom came 3 times to my room to tell me I was being a crybaby and I knew I was wrong.

This isn't new. This happens constantly, and everytime it does I just want to do something to myself, sometimes I pray I will finally break and go numb so I won't feel anymore.

I don't know how long I can handle it. I don't know how long I can take this shit. I just want parents that see my efforts, that try to be sympathetic, that I can rely on emotionally.

If it weren't for my boyfriend and dog, I probably would have already killed myself.

[be-more-heidi-hansen]

sup

hello to anyone who still follows me/is active

idk if i ever said this on this account but im theo, he/him

i havent posted on this account in like five years. ill be 21 next month. i started this blog originally ten years ago and have been running it as a fanfic account since i was like 14/15. im glad you guys still enjoy my writing! however i dont rlly write fanfic anymore, at least not ones i think id really post.

just a lil update since. yknow. its been like 5 years

i might come back & periodically check on this blog in case this gets any interaction but i have a different blog now as my main

this sounds incredibly monotone and bland but i kinda dont know what to say, if u read this far thank u and have a good day :)

[sunspira]

I CANT shake like wariness and frustration and confusion about the argument that "it's not other user's responsibility to protect kids. parents need to monitor their kids online activity" like if you see yourself as a good person you do have SOME duty to avoid doing harm and look out for children online who you happen to directly encounter. but more to the point god parents monitoring their kids online is SUUCH a miserable option like that would have made me so upset and sad and uncomfortable. i feel like it was part of my preteen life and coming of age to have a little online independent life in middle school and early high school. we did have the computer in the family living room so like is THAT what people mean by the level of monitoring. like very passively that works well because of the natural accountability to not go on the worlds most fucked up websites when your mom is in the next room but . checking their search history feels like reading their diary very wrong breach of privacy and trust idk about that

(but there's the truth in the spirit of that comment that it's still a public space and you don't have to carry yourself and censor yourself like you're in a school setting just cause kids might be around. i think the freedom to have fun and just do and say whatever like you would around other adult friends is part of the point of being on here and why being online is appealing in the first place. but yea people made good points that in an open forum about a children's show you probably should carry yourself pg-13 knowing some really young ones are all around that just feels natural to me. one time i joined an avatar the last air bender discord and we made a grown up zone for that reason because half the users were new fans and teens and half were og fans and like 25. like we can all hang out in the main zone but there's adult only channels to just be whatever and not have to think about it. maybe because ive mainly worked in schools and in childcare and would substitute teach and sometimes babysit kids in middle and high school but realizing "oh christ youre young enough to be my STUDENT:C like someone i TAKE CARE OF and tell what to do all day" is a bit disturbing and made me actually unfollow some younger users at the time which i still really don't follow teens anymore period it's too strange like with my position in society i don't wanna know you like that.

this doesn't conclude in anything it's more of a stream of consciousness. except that i do try to be a human being online and im not detached from society enough to be like NOTHING MATTERS LOLOL TRIAL BY FIRE KIDS i also hate the argument that parents need to be on top of their kids online activity it is hard for me to imagine that in practice but it's partially because i didn't have internet access when i was in elementary school where that might be appropriate and didn't have a smart phone or laptop until college so i come from a different world than most young adults saying that stuff but ALSO it's kinda fucked that kids who don't have anyone in their life advocating for them or involved with them , usually the same unattended kids who's parents are either really caring but struggling and always working or even in some cases it's kids who have cold or neglectful adults in their life and they're just getting screwed over even more by bad environments online like there's no clear solution here because people can be so puritanical and that's the worst too but it's so easy and dismissive to be like WELL WHERES THE PARENTS THIS WHOLE TIME. dude idk i'm not sure if that's even the point

[nemir]

“obviously not.”

✞——————❆——————✞

» pairing; xyx x mc

» word count: 2,761 words

» content; heavy angst, relationship problems, cold shoulder, selfish MC.

» an; yall reeeeally wanted a part 2 to THIS. y’sure about that? 🤭

You weren’t quite sure just how long it had been since you last spoke with xyx. The days all seemed to meld together, between this and work. You could hardly tell if you were coming or going half the time, and most nights you had come home and just sank immediately into bed. In a way, it was a bit of a blessing. At least you weren’t thinking too much about what had happened; you didn’t really have time or the brain capacity.

But there was still that gnawing feeling in the back of your mind. Even when you did manage to get online, you didn’t see his messages in chat. You assumed they were probably just buried by other conversations, and you could only scroll back so far before everything would start to lag. Still, it was enough for you to be concerned, which you finally brought up to Toast, about a week and a half later. NakedToaster: i mean i’ve talked to him a few times but NakedToaster: not much besides typical hey how are ya, when are you getting in-game. that kinda stuff. MC: oh... I see. but his messages are showing up for you??? NakedToaster: he hasnt said much in general in the past little while so i couldnt rly tell you. we have our own channel lol but i can see them there. NakedToaster: maybe the server’s just acting up or something? wouldnt be the first time tbh MC: i guess so. ugh. i just hope he’s doing alright NakedToaster: well NakedToaster: he’s been having a pretty tough time with his latest client NakedToaster: the case has been bad so far. NakedToaster: not that you needed me to tell you that lmao MC: oh.. uh, y-yeah haha, that case. i know he was stressed about it from the beginning. Your hands were shaking over the keyboard. You didn’t even know about this new client. He never mentioned anything of it to you. His voice rang through your head, ‘oh right, because you never fucking asked’. MC: well, thanks toasty. im glad to know he’s at least... semi-active. i guess ive just missed being online at the same time. im sure i’ll catch him soon. NakedToaster: np ✞——————❆——————✞ He wasn’t a fan of lying, but he would do it to protect one of his best friends. Toast absolutely knew what was going on. He knew the day it happened. He was in the middle of a dungeon when xyx had messaged him. xyx: have you ever noticed how much [MC] talks about themselves? NakedToaster: LMAOOOO xyx: ... Oh. They knew xyx was being genuine, and quickly followed up with questions. What do you mean, how long has this been going on, what’s happening? Of course, xyx being xyx, it was hard to get every detail but he wasn’t going to push it. It was clear he was upset, and that’s all that mattered to Toast. So Toast did some digging of their own. He had casually brought it up to Quest one night, making sure not to mention xyx at all. NakedToaster: idk, someone mentioned it to me so i thought i’d ask. i honestly dont pay enough attention to tell myself Quest: Hmm.. Quest: A quick look through the logs doesn’t give much, honestly. But truth to tell.. We all kind of talk about ourselves a lot, don’t you think? Quest: Well, ha ha, some of us. :^) NakedToaster: i mean u have ur reasons lol Quest: Right. Quest: If anyone talks about themselves too much, it’s nightowl. LOL NakedToaster: LOLLLL Quest: Honestly, it’s probably just that [MC] feels comfortable enough around us to vent, y’know? I can’t blame ‘em for that. But if there are anymore issues, make sure to let me know! It wasn’t the response he was really looking for, but he still brought it up to xyx in a call - something that was once a rarity and was now becoming an almost nightly occurrence. “I know I should’ve asked you first, but I figured if anybody would’ve noticed anything, it would’ve been Quest.” “Nah, you’re fine mate. I, uh.. appreciate it. I wouldn’t have been able to ask him myself. Prob’ly wouldn’t have.” xyx chuckled a bit nervously, scratching idly at his arm. “What, uh, what did he say? Outta curiosity.” Toast frowned a bit and leaned back in their chair, arms crossing. “That he hadn’t noticed anything. He even went back through the logs a bit. Just kinda chalked it up to them feeling like this is a safe space to vent, and that nightowl does it all the fucking time - which he isn’t really wrong about, I guess.” Xyx’s arms fell to the desk with a grumble, “It’s not the fucking same! Nobody’s hung out with them as much as I have, not even close. It’s a near constant! Toasty, they don’t even know the name of my client.” “Wait, what? But they said you talked to them about the case-” “They never fucking asked.” Of course, there was client confidentiality in place, so it’s not as if xyx could go into crazy details, but not even to ask the name, or a vague idea of what was going on. Nothing. But even then! Who else was he supposed to vent this shit to? “There was a day where I just put the camera on Cat and fucked off. They didn’t even realize.” Toast didn’t know what to say or how to react to that. He was just staring at xyx, disgust clear on his face. Xyx shrugged and slumped back into his chair. “I blocked them. I just couldn’t handle it.” “You- wait, what? Oh my god, that makes so much sense. They were wondering why they weren’t able to see your messages in chat.” ✞——————❆——————✞ Another week and a half went by. You were really starting to get nervous now. There were times, before, where he’d disappear and go offline for a day or two but he always came back. You knew he needed days and some time to himself, that wasn’t an issue. But this... this was different. You still weren’t able to see any of his messages in chat, and he was constantly offline. You even called in sick to work and stayed online all day, just in the hopes of catching him. Nothing. But you didn’t want to reach out. You were afraid to, in a way, because you don’t want to pressure him or make things worse. It hurts to just... leave it, but you did. For a time, until you finally broke and sent him a quick message in the private channel you two are in. MC: heyy. i hope you’re doing okay. i miss you.. i’ve been thinking a lot about what happened and i feel fucking awful. You’re right, i’ve been incredibly selfish and.. i really hope that you can forgive me. i want to make this right, but i’m not going to make any moves until you’re ready. i’ll be here when you are. xo His response came a week later. Finally. It was a single sentence, “i read your message.” He absolutely did. Read it out loud to Toast, too. Toast, after hearing everything, had only become increasingly bitter toward you - something you picked up on as time went on. Xyx is one of his best friends, and you really hurt him. It wasn’t something they were going to so easily forgive. So when xyx read your message, Toast rolled his eyes so hard, they gave themselves a headache. It took xyx a while to type out a full response. He’s hurting. Between work stress, health stress, Cat stress, and now this? It had clearly been eating at him for a while. He doesn’t know if he can handle this, on top of everything else. When the two of you went into this relationship, it was a beautiful thing. It had a very promising start! But.. as time went on, xyx started noticing and picking up on things. Things that started to irk him. At first, he tried to play it off; if anybody understood needing to vent and not really having a safe outlet to do so, it was him. He knew that you just wanted him to know what was going on in your life - you were long distance, after all. And sometimes he would vent as well, though it was becoming a rare occurrence. He didn’t like to talk about his feelings that much, which was no secret. But you had managed to pull things out of him, and he did appreciate it, in a way. It made him realize that, yes, he can be vulnerable around people because he is cared about, and people want to make sure he’s okay. It made him realize that he was capable of feeling love, and giving love in return. He’ll forever be thankful for that, but... This had been going on for so long, and you never even fucking noticed. You never took the time. Even when he tried to bring it up, it was just met with you either talking over him, or trying to relate to everything he was saying then going into a tangent of your own. “Oh well, have you tried this? It worked for me!”, or “Yeah, that happened to me before! Here’s the entire story!”, and the ever classic “I TOTALLY understand what you’re going through!” But instead of letting him talk and finish what he was saying, you took over the entire conversation. You went on your own diatribe about how you were feeling, how you handled whichever situation (or didn’t), about your experiences. And by the time you were done talking, you didn’t even have the decency to apologize for hijacking the conversation, or worse still, ask him to continue with his story. You just jumped to a completely different topic, and xyx was left holding onto those feelings, never to be brought up again. MC: can... can we call? xyx: no. im not rly feeling up to it MC: i understand, and that’s okay! (you know this worked before!) i just feel like something like this would be easier if we could just... talk. xyx: (it took him a few minutes to respond. he kept backspacing ‘i’m sorry, but no’) i really dont want to. xyx: this already sucks. i dont really want to make it any worse for myself. You were waiting for the “or you”, but it never came. But he was typing! That’s a good sign. MC: okay, that’s fine!! i’ll just wait until you’re finished typing! You were trying to sound hopeful, and you hoped it was coming across. You still would have preferred to have this talk over voice but this was better than nothing. At least he was talking to you. xyx: its my turn to talk now. there’s a part of me that wants to give you the benefit of the doubt - i guess that’s second nature to me. but my head just keeps screaming not to, that there’s no way i could, or should. i need you to know that you’ve hurt me. and yeah, im sure it wasn’t your intention, but impact over intention. you still did it, and continued to do it. it was as if... honestly it was as if you didn’t even realize it but then i say to myself, well no, how could they not? it was fairly obvious, at least to me it was. and, y’know, maybe i could have tried to speak up more but there was no point. i feel like, if i had brought it up, you’d find some way to make it about yourself and that was quite honestly the last thing i wanted. this will hurt to hear probably, but not out of any sort of sympathy or compassion to you, but because i was sick and tired of hearing it. every single day, there was something new. something that happened that you had to tell me about. we didn’t even be on the subject of it, but you’d somehow find a way to make each conversation about you. i know i don’t like talking about my feelings or my problems that much. i can do without it. but that doesn’t give you free reign to just... make everything about you. when you do that, it makes me feel like you don’t care. about me, or how i’m feeling, or what’s going on in my life. hell, you hardly ask about Cat anymore! the one thing i’d be more than willing to talk about, and you couldn’t even bring yourself to stop being the centre of the universe for five fucking minutes to ask how my pet was doing. how am i meant to take all that? i can almost guarantee that if the roles were reversed, you would’ve thrown a fit over it. but i didn’t. and the only reason why i didn’t is because i care about you and, deep down, i wanted to make sure that you were okay, because honestly? for a while there... you were the one constant in my life. you didn’t leave, you treated me like a human being. you were nice, understanding.. you even listened. but you... you don’t anymore. and you haven’t for a long time. and, look, i really don’t want to hear anything about how i didn’t try either, or some other bullshit narrative, because i honest to god did. but half the time, i couldn’t get a word in edgewise, or what i did say was brushed aside. do you have any idea how that feels? the one person who cared about me most, who even went so far as to say they loved me - and who i loved, just dismissing everything i try to say. that fucking hurt. i felt better when i got into my accident. i keep wanting to apologize for some stupid reason. like i’m the one who fucked up here somehow. i must’ve just gotten used to not caring about myself or how i felt that i just.. kept letting it happen, thinking it would get better.. always fucking thinking everything will get better, but it never does, does it? ive been shown that time and time again. makes me feel like a prat for getting my hopes up, but that’s what i get, i guess. why did i let myself think this time would be any different? ultimately, this is the end. i can’t keep going through with this. i’ve learned a lot of valuable things from you that, i’m sure in time, maybe, i’ll get better about. and i’m staring with this. i’m not.. i can’t keep putting myself in these situations and staying there. this.. this isn’t serving me anymore. that’s something you used to tell me all the time, right? “if it doesn’t serve you, get rid of it” so, that’s what i’m doing. i hope in the future you’re able to find someone who will want nothing more than to hear you talk all day. i dunno. maybe you should just get a pet instead. you don’t have to worry about leaving the server or anything, i wouldn’t ask you to do that. but, i won’t be either. but i will be blocking you. again. i suggest you do the same. i mean, in the end it’s your choice, but.. yeah.  uh... have a good one. You saw it was a huge chunk of text. Paragraphs worth. Your response was a simple, “oh! that’s a lot, heh, give me a minute to read through it!”  You wish you hadn’t. You had an awful, gut-wrenching feeling when you saw the wall of text pop up that it wasn’t going to be good. You were cursing yourself, unable to tear your eyes from the screen even as the tears welled, and your chest felt like it was going to implode with how tight it was feeling, the way your entire body was trembling. You should have just stuck to your guns. It felt like you had the wind knocked out of you completely by the time you finished. All manner of liquid and nastiness was pouring from your face, but you couldn’t stop. You dropped your hands to the keyboard, hoping and praying that you still had time to send a message. MC: xyx, no wait, please!! i want to talk to you about this, please. BloomBot: Oops! Your message could not be sent.

[ketchupkio]

What’s your spiciest loz and/or Lu take

Oh my god, damn. Controversial spicy? Y'know what? I'll post this.

Let's start with something not too spicy for loz stuff:

I don't know if, officially, minish cap, four swords, and four swords adventures should have been put on the Zelda timeline. I think they should have had their own little spinoff branch. Because they don't make a lot of sense worked into the main lore. They were developed by Capcom using the Nintendo IP and there's apparently a Ganondorf thrown in there iirc??? That's super weird and doesn't make sense.

Now am I ragging on the games? No! From what I played of minish cap, it was super delightful. I just don't think they should be included on the main timeline because Nintendo didn't develop their lore so it doesn't fit in well. In that same note, I don't think hw:aoc should be canon either. And they marketed aoc misleadingly tbh.

Also the Zelda team just likes to slap numbers on things to mark the passage of time. Idk if it's a translation thing or what but the botw gap SHOULD NOT be 10,000 years. That's way too many years.

A rant/vent about lu under the cut for the truly spicy takes, I'm very salty. If you have strong opinions about this and don't wanna get upset, don't read it.

LU take: there's no story. Just pretty pictures and half baked characterizations. The fandom took it much farther than the comic but I'm very over the fandom now. This is why I make my own stuff with a set plot because I got frustrated with such little source material to base things on, soooo I left. No gay either in canon, very sad. Some people like the lack of plot and the ability to make their fan works their own but that is not my thing at all, ESPECIALLY while the fandom can be so hostile. I don't care for LU anymore, and of the creators I still follow that post lu, I follow because I want to support THEM, not the fandom or lu comic, and in many cases I think they have a nuanced, fleshed out take on the characters they post frequently about. I'm all for people making their own content independent of lu, but maybe I'm just jaded and salty. I just really dislike lu.

It's also made linkshipping a very hostile environment, like I think I'm gonna get attacked someday bc someone that has adopted the LU mindset just takes it upon themselves to doxx me or something because I ship my own version of the hero of Legend and hero of Warriors (entirely separate from LU), and I'm open to other people's interpretations and ships? Like there's actually nothing wrong with it. Ever hear of don't like don't read? Yeah, now shut the fuck up about it because this discourse is childish and I shouldn't have to fear for the future of my online presence and mental state over a ship that's objectively unproblematic, and people shouldn't be afraid to approach me and tell me that they like my work because they're afraid of getting found out and having their reputation ruined and losing their friends! Asau makes me happy. All of my free time goes into it. I shouldn't feel terrified that I'll lose it all one day because someone decided to be an idiot.

And even if people ship stuff in lu. Who fucking cares? You shouldn't. People have shipped things ever since fandom has existed, so even if the creator of one webcomic says they don't want that, it's bigger than her now. Policing views isn't helping anyone. It is only actively hurting people and making them feel unsafe. It's not worth it. I promise you it's not.

[porcupine-girl]

Update on my covidness. Covidity?

I'm at 4 weeks since I got sick.

I count last Monday, July 25, as the first day I wasn't actually sick anymore, so I was actively sick-sick for like 17 days. But the fatigue has barely let up - I've had a couple good days but they're usually followed by really bad days. I can basically do One Thing a day, such as helping with dinner or going with my husband to the grocery store (which turned out to be a mistake and wore me WAY out, but I hadn't left the house in three weeks and was desperate).

It's especially bad in my arms - some days my legs feel like I could probably take a walk (I haven't dared yet) but doing almost anything with my arms is exhausting. After the trip to the grocery store, where my husband did most of the work, I was reduced to playing games on my iPad one-handed, switching out hands as each one wore out.

So that's where I am now. Four weeks in I'm not sick, but I'm also hardly capable of doing anything. If this happened during the semester IDK what I would do - I have video lectures from when we were remote that I can use, but I couldn't even fucking grade in the state I'm in.

The only thing I can compare it to is when I was undergoing chemo 18 years ago. It feels so much like that sometimes it's creepy. The way I would be doing okay and then suddenly go way downhill in a matter of minutes - that happened the one time I tried to eat at a restaurant. (Our anniversary was while I was still sick-sick, and the kid was at camp for a week so since I wasn't sick-sick last Friday I was like okay I can sit in a booth and eat for an hour. And I did, and was tired but hanging in there, but around the time we ordered dessert I just crashed.)

The arm tiredness is also similar to chemo. The way some days typing or holding a book is too much for my arms, and holding a video game controller in my lap is the best I can do (I have played a LOT of ACNH let me tell you).

Anyhow. In case anyone was wondering. I really hope this lets up a bit before classes start in 2.5 weeks!

A full recap of the past four weeks under the cut:

I think my husband & son picked it up at the July 4 parade, which was a Monday. They got sick Wednesday/Thursday. Thursday night I wasn't quite sick but I felt the way I always do right before I get sick so I knew it was coming.

Friday, July 8 was the first day I was definitely sick, fever and all. (I will note that although 100.4 is technically the "fever" cutoff, my baseline body temp tends to be around 97-97.5 instead of 98.6 so I consider anything above 99 as a fever, and even though my immune system is messed up and I'm sick way more than my husband or kid it's still pretty damn rare for me to get a fever even by that measure.) Saturday my temp got up to like 101.5, when I still had a fever Sunday I tested and was positive for Covid.

At that point I thought to test my sense of smell and realized it was mostly gone. My husband realized that the problems he'd been having since his brief sickness Wednesday/Thursday were all due to covid brain fog.

Monday, July 11 I went to a grocery store clinic and got a positive test there and a prescription for Paxlovid. Took Paxlovid like a good girl for five days, but by the time I was done with it I still had a fever and was still testing positive (I tested 24 hrs after my last dose, so on Saturday July 16). I'm assuming it prevented me from getting worse, at least, but I did NOT have the miraculous "I started feeling better two days into Paxlovid!" experience that I've heard from so many others.

Finally that Sunday, the 17th, my temp dropped below 99 and stayed that way. So I had a fever for about 9-10 days straight. I was still very definitely sick, though. My bones still hurt all the time, my sinuses were a mess, headaches on and off, and I had the general "sick feeling" that is often the only symptom I get. My sense of smell and taste were still off, though smell was at least returning. I finally tested negative on Saturday, July 23 but I was still sick for another day or two.

[jimines]

Whats actually happened between you and taemaknae? I read about it on the tea blog and still confused

This is an insanely long story so I'm going to put it below the cut so for anyone interested in this absolute shit show, continue on.

Essentially, I posted these headers about a month ago:

It was a set of like 8 colours and it was the first time I had ever posted any headers or anything. The issue nic had with these, was the ripped paper bottom. Because apparently you can trademark that. I had asked a (now ex) “friend” of mine if she knew where I could find the ripped paper effect because I had seen the effect on the header of her network blog and I had been trying to find a similar thing for months and google images never gave me anything good. She ended up referring me to google images anyways and after like an hour of dedicated searching, I found this ripped paper effect and used it. This ex “friend” went on to tell another friend of mine that I had "asked where nicole gets her resources for her headers" and then screenshotted my dm as "proof", which still confuses me because I never mentioned nicole there lmao. I've seen the screenshot.

Tell me where I said nicole. It was literally just a question born from seeing the header they had on their network lmao. I feel it’s important to mention I didn’t know this person ran said network at that time, which is why i said “these people”.

This other friend then came to me and just said my headers "may be seen as similar to nic's” and said she noticed it on her own and never mentioned my other “friend” approaching her. I was confused because other than that ripped paper effect that I know many people on tumblr use, I saw no similarities. Nic's headers are usually more complex and more than just a coloured background with a little effect in it. I just wanted to make some simple headers for fun because I was bored. But, regardless, I messaged nic about it to make sure she didn't feel the same way. I told her a friend of mine was worried nic might think my headers are similar to her's and I assured her that if she found them similar I would take them down, no questions asked. Nic told me she was surprised this friend brought it up and told me that it was entirely up to me if I found the headers similar. She never once told me she felt they were the same, never mentioned anything about them, she insisted it was up to me to do as I pleased. So, since I genuinely found no similarities, I left them up.

About a week went by and things between nic and I were fine, or so I thought, based off the fact that she was interacting with my posts, sending me cute asks and replying to a lot of my comments and stuff being kind and whatnot. Then, I decided to post a small list of my creations and the series I had running at the time. 

After that, all of a sudden I got an influx of rude hate anons:

To anyone I mentioned the anons to, they agreed with me, you cannot trademark circular icons. This anon also accused me saying “just the fact that you had an anxiety attack about it proves you copied them” Like no sweetie, it’s called three strangers walked into my house and I got anxious.

Despite me not seeing the issue, I messaged nic, assuming she wouldn't care about the icons (it wasn't like I was taking her exact work and copying and pasting them as my own) and that made her very upset. When she responded to me, she was incredibly heated and gave off the vibe she was waiting for me to message her about it. 

She said things like "this has actually been bothering me for a while", "i expected you to be able to read between the lines and delete the headers", "i don't know who that anon was but clearly they recognize my style". For starters, she never told me that she was annoyed with me, she was being very kind to me publicly. And I have no idea how I was meant to “read between the lines” of what she said especially considering how kind she was to me the following days. I also never accused her of knowing this anon, she just insisted it wasn't her and she didn't know them right off the bat. She also insinuated that I copied my gifs from others as well, which ticked me off because I made my 100+ layer psd myself thank you very much. But I kept my cool, and I told her I had no idea she felt the way she did, and I told her I would delete the headers (which i did as the conversation was going on), and that I would stop posting my icons and bringing attention to them because no one ever paid it any mind before that point. And I asked her “please tell me straight up the next time you have an issue with me because I am generally pretty dumb with social cues”, I have my adhd to thank for that. And instead of replying, she just blocked me. And conveniently, the hate anons stopped dead right after we blocked each other and I haven't received any since.

Also, these are the kinds of icons I posted:

Looks pretty generic and idk, universal, right?

Then, as I've recently found out today, she was in an "anti-loverjimin" groupchat with at least 2 other bloggers. 

Which explains why this all went and fell into place. I know who the two other bloggers are because of what happened two days later but I won't name them just yet, but these two people had been "friends" with me for several months. So, a day or two after nic blocked me, all of a sudden some good friends of mine were blocking me and not talking to me when I asked what was going on. I found out soon after it was because nicole and those two now ex “friends” of mine had taken old dms I sent them and were showing them to people. And I will go into detail about them but I won't name the people they are about for privacy reasons.

Before I move on, to clarify some lies nic has been spreading about me, I never once shit talked nicole to my friends. One of these ex friends also said I was trying to get people on my side. I would have reacted to this all very very differently if that were the case. I would be dragging everyone through the fucking dirt but I don't get off on drama or micromanaging what my mutuals do. My issues are with these people, if you're still friends with them that's your decision i could not care less. So, back to it, the only thing I said about nic was that she and I had a stupid small fight over icons and that she was spreading lies about me, based off of what nic said to jordan.

That exact message, or slight variations of it, was sent to anyone I interacted with because I didn't know if nic was going to stop at jordan or try and get to everyone I fucking knew lmao. Some of the people I messaged this to told ME nic had done this kind of thing before, that she has sent hate anons, launched hate campaigns, cancelled people, etc. Over stupid shit like icons lmao.

Here are some responses I received after I mentioned nicole:

And nic or one of her friends also took it upon themselves to send anons to that tea blog to blow shit up and named everyone and made it an even bigger mess when they saw no one was actively trying to fight me after the dms got out. 

I also love that in this following ask, they named my two “friends” that were behind the whole dm drama and backstabbed me, as well as two other people I never badmouthed, that story was twisted. But we’ll get into those details shortly.

And she also told people I clout chased big blogs and only cared about notes. At one point, yes, I did care a lot about my statistics. However, never once did I think clout chasing was worth my fucking time or energy, Nic is the biggest clout chaser on this damn site and there are receipts of that, ask jordan lmao. And I couldn’t give two shits about my statistics anymore lmao, much less anxiety that way. Do I still crave validation sometimes? Sure. But it's not a driving force of my tumblr experience like it used to be.

But, moving on to the dms, the first one was sent when I first came back to tumblr full-time and didn't understand why people self reblogged things, I found the pretence of self reblogging annoying and greedy and I complained about it and it was a comment fuelled by two bloggers that i would see sr a lot on my dash. But I never thought THEY were annoying, as these people are saying I did, it was self reblogging I found annoying and as you can see I have come to understand why people sr and I do it myself too. I didn't even know these two bloggers at this time either. That dm was cropped to hide the fact that this "friend" agreed with me and hid the date as well so it seemed recent, and was sent to one of the bloggers I mentioned as an example, someone I had since become good friends with. 

I didn’t befriend one of the people I mentioned there until mid to late June. That friendship is now over thanks to this drama and all the lies. The second friend of mine they went after was never spoken about in dms, they went and turned her against me through lies and manipulation so that friendship has ended too. And while those two were doing that, nic went off to try and turn jordan against me.

There was a particular user on here that I did say some nasty things about but we weren't friends, as many people have been made to believe. I was particularly mad at this person in those dms and was hurtful, I admit, and I have since apologized and owned up to all of it to these people. I did call them fake and/or two-faced. 

And what in the gassing me up bullshit was their response though lmao. I also sent this following dm before I even talked about the issue with this person. They urged me to continue and to name drop the person, and I stupidly thought they were trustworthy.

My reasoning for what I said wasn't unwarranted though, I don't make a habit of going around shit-talking people, unless they do something to me first. I vent when I am upset and this person had sent me a passive aggressive ask and then denied sending it when I asked and I thought that was just very fake, especially since she was so kind to me in dms before the ask came in. But all of these dms were cropped too to hide timestamps and responses, and in most cases, like those screenshots prove, these "friends" either gassed me up or egged me on to continue ranting or to name the people i was mad at and they had agreed with me on several, several occasions. Turns out they were trying to get dirt on me to use in their cancel campaign. But the point is, nic has made me out to be this horrible person that befriends "big blogs" (an overrated statement) and then shit talks them behind their back without remorse. Yet it was one person I said rude things about and I, again, owned up to it all and apologized to them the first day. I would've done it sooner had I a) remembered feeling the way I did all those months ago or remembered the dms themselves or b) felt that way still after meeting them. But neither is the case.

I find it really amusing though that these people wanted things to be kept quiet and didn’t want anyone they spoke to to talk to me about it because I was going to “out them on my blog” and “make a big scene”, then they three went and made it a big fucking scene and ruined my friendships. I’m familiar with this pattern of manipulation as it has happened to me in real life before and it’s the most childish bullshit to witness.

Before this callout day for nic, I had never once been directly rude to or about her, same goes for those ex “friends” that betrayed my trust and friendship. The fact that they plotted against me in a group chat while still actively talking to me and being all buddy buddy is just disgusting. Both of them were talking to me that day at the same time they were sharing the dms and shit-talking me to my friends. But yeah, that's my side, the untwisted side, of the whole story. I tried to be mature and talk to nic and when I didn't do what she wanted me to do, she blocked me and launched the hate campaign with dms and the power of photoshop. I’ve been hesitant to make any of this public because it was meant to be a silent ordeal but I’ve grown tired of her constantly publicizing everything without consequence while I remain silent like I promised.

[itsclydebitches]

You got lost in Japan? What??? I have literally never heard about that time

Story time! :D

Okay, this is probably one of those instances where the experience was far more exciting than the retelling, but whatever. My high school (like other high schools? Idk) had a senior project built around travel. Every student decides on something they want to study or do (like charity work) and then picks one of the many abroad programs that can help them achieve that. In my case, I went to Japan with a couple of friends to study dance.

Another friend, let’s call him Peter, was studying religion and my roommate at the time, let’s call her Sarah, was there for business. Peter was visiting as many temples/shrines as he could and asked if we wanted to join him on a day when we didn’t have anything else planned. We said sure, sounds great. Now, the details of all this have been lost to time, my terrible memory, and the fact that we, you know, got lost, but the important thing is that we were three exhausted high schoolers navigating foreign public transportation with… probably more confidence than we’d earned. “Alright Peter,” Sarah and I said. “You’re the only one who speaks even a smidgen of Japanese and you presumably know what stop you want. We’re going to nap, but you wake us up when we get there.” “Of course!” says Peter, who was generally a very reliable person.

Peter did not stay awake.

We were woken up after an undetermined amount of time by the very nice bus driver who, as far as we were able to tell, was basically saying, “This is the end of the line. You kids need to skedaddle.” Sure enough, we blearily step outside to see a parking lot full of buses and… little else. We’re definitely not in the city proper anymore. We don’t know where we are. We also lack the language skills to ask. Why was the driver finishing up his shift at this seemingly random time? Would any other buses be heading back soon? No idea! The driver went into a tiny building and shut the door, presumably assuming that we had a reason for being out here.

Now, what you’ve got to understand is that back when I was in high school, kids that age weren’t carrying cell phones yet. Actually, many probably were, but not in my neck of the woods. I wouldn’t get one until college and though Sarah had one by then, her parents had decided to skip out on the hassle and expense of using it for a short (two week) abroad trip. So we couldn’t call anyone. No Google maps or GPS. I had a credit card, but at the time I don't recall seeing any cabs that accepted one, so we knew when we found a cab we had to make sure we had enough money to make it back to where we were staying (meaning, walk far enough that the cab can get us the rest of the way). Also, we were just stupid, inexperienced travelers. I remember we had a moment of huddling together, looking through bags, trying to figure out if we had anything useful except some cash and student IDs.

“I have a book!” I said and since I was with two other nerds the consensus was that this was, in fact, a good thing. Things can’t be too bad if you have a book with you.

The conclusion three otherwise very smart students came to was that there was one road leading into this bus graveyard, so that’s the road we should follow out. Which we did. For a very, very long time. We spent the whole day and a good portion of the night wandering somewhat aimlessly, but thankfully in the general direction of civilization.

We’d been walking probably less than an hour when we came across an ice cream cart. Which was VERY weird considering that a) we were in a country-ish area with absolutely no one else around and b) it was the middle of winter and actively snowing. We decided not to question this and bought three green tea ice cream cones that were divine. If that had happened to me today and I posted about it, I’m pretty sure tumblr would be telling me I met a fae and should expect them to collect on that magic ice cream someday. And you know what? I’m cool with that. The ice cream was that good.

So we’re walking in the snow in what we hope is the right direction while eating a summer treat. We saw a bunch of spotted deer who were pretty chill about us passing by. There was a seemingly abandoned restaurant that still had working vending machines outside and that’s when I learned about vending machines that gave things other than soda. A couple of nice strangers gave vague directions made up of pointing and looking worried for these three frozen dumbos. We eventually found a populated restaurant and spent a lot of time trying to figure out what we’d like to order, with our kind waitress dragging the cook from the back to try and translate. I got the sense that this was a “I took English in school but have now completely forgotten it all, don’t make me try and say anything” situation and the waitress had a giggle fit about it. Eventually she just gave us Katsudon, my first time trying that dish, and I ordered it as much as I could before we left.

Really, the whole thing turned into a food trip and none of us were complaining.

Eventually, after most of a day and several night hours of walking, we started finding younger crowds who knew enough English to help. We got a cab and successfully made it to the school we were staying. The hilarious thing is that, as a boarding school, my days were normally very structured: you eat now, study now, lights out now, etc. The Japanese instructor supervising the trip was of the opinion that when traveling you should just be chucked into the deep end. Go anywhere, do anything, no teachers looking over your shoulder, just make sure you’re not arrested or killed. So when we got back and told her we missed dinner because we got lost she was IMMENSELY pleased and fed us candy to get the whole story.

And then we collapsed from exhaustion! lol