#idk if the abyss is a demon but he sure looks like one

[poly-space-nerds]

Daniel isn’t Real spoilers under the cut

I don’t really know what to think about the twist near the end of the movie. Like on one hand, I was really enjoying the psychological thriller part of it. But at the same time, I love that what was haunting Luke was in fact a demon, and not at all mental illness.

When I first started watching the movie and saw that his mom had schizophrenia, I was a bit worried about where this movie was going to go. Was this going to be another ‘my mental illness causes me to be violent’ trope? Was it going to demonize mental illness like all the rest of horror movies?

I’m so glad that it didn’t. It was pretty clear from the time Luke fell asleep at the party that what he was dealing with wasn’t schizophrenia. When he talks to his mom, it’s obvious that her mental illness is different.

But god, what a sad ending. I can’t imagine the guilt his mom must feel for not being able to help her son. As far as she knows, he was starting the same way she did, and he committed suicide. Cassie might feel guilt that she didn’t help Luke the day before when he showed up trying to explain what was going on. And Luke. who died to get rid of the demon. It was haunting to see that the Abyss was well and going to find another host.

Could this still be a metaphor for mental illness? Probably. But the movie does take care to 1. Emphasize that what Daniel is isn’t an effect of schizophrenia and 2. Show how the mom’s schizophrenia affected her (and how it was so different from Luke) and she wasn’t demonized for it. Whether she was a bad parent or not is up to opinion but the movie never shows her wanting to hurt Daniel or any one except herself. She was just trying to do her best while dealing with an untreated illness.

I think to conclude that this movie is saying ‘the only way to escape mental illness is by suicide’ means that someone wasn’t paying attention. I mean hell, they show Luke’s mom not trusting doctors or medicine and she hurts herself. Then they show her getting help, and she’s doing better. They give a great example that getting real treatment helped her.

I think I liked the twist of it. The movie really went ‘uhh actually mental illness doesn’t mean people will become murderers. That’s just due to the demon’

[sunderwight]

Bingqiu AU where SY and LBH grow up as childhood friends (idk maybe they're both at QJP but Shen Jiu is less of an asshole, or maybe SY transmigrates into Random Village Bully Child No.3 when Binghe's mom is still alive -- or both) and there's none of the tension of the idea of "one day Luo Binghe is going to rip my limbs off" for Shen Yuan.

So he and LBH can just be bros! Fantastic! Shen Yuan has never had a little brother before but he's had a little sister, he knows how to do this. Just spoil the cute kid rotten!

It's only fair compensation for how many terrible things LBH is gonna have to endure on the road to ruling the world, after all. SY also feels more freedom to change minor aspects of the plot around, too, like maybe he'll stop Liu Qingge from dying, definitely he can help LBH get a better start to his cultivation journey, and maybe the abyss and xin mo thing doesn't really need to happen...?

The list of things SY considers meddling with ends up including wives.

Like really, come on now, Luo Binghe may be a stallion protagonist but there's no need for that many women. Especially when at least half of them are just increasingly cheap copies of the other half, and that's being generous about it. Some of PIDW Binghe's wives were, frankly, horrible people. And if he's being honest about it, it wasn't fair of Binghe himself to take on that many either. Even if anyone would naturally give their left arm to be the protagonist's wife, after a certain point Binghe just can't spend that much time actually with them! And then he can't form the kinds of deep and meaningful bonds which might actually help heal his trauma!

SY's not looking to interfere too much, of course. Ning Yingying is not his favorite wife, but she's fine. She causes trouble but it isn't on purpose, and she's genuinely sweet and willing to befriend Binghe before he's anything special (although even now, it's obvious Binghe is special). Ning Yingying can stay.

And of course, so can Best Wife Liu Mingyan.

But Sha Hualing? Well, she offers some political advantages, and as the demon wives go she's not the worst. She's kind of iconic and was very popular, but Shen Yuan thinks the harem could do without her scheming and malicious attitude towards the other wives. The cost of harmony was too high for the political bonuses offered, especially when Binghe might as well just take her ancestral lands by force and be done with it. He's going to advise against that match.

And the Qin sisters. Sure there's the legendary threesome, but Wanrong's dead weight and it never struck SY quite right how Qin Wanyue pressured Luo Binghe into sex. The threesome wasn't even good anyway.

Better Qin Wanyue than the Little Palace Mistress on that front, though. But aish, that's complicated, the Palace Mistress is even more politically vital to securing HHP than Sha Hualing is for her father's kingdom, and almost as bad for the peace and harmony of the harem. Ultimately SY will leave it up to Binghe, but if Binghe asks, he's going to advise against the Huan Hua wives too.

With thoughts like this in mind, SY starts talking to Binghe about how to establish a household, what to look for in a spouse (or twenty), and other topics of that nature. What sort of household Luo Binghe ought to strive to have, and what sorts of standards he should himself to. Also while of course assuring him that Shen Yuan isn't interested in women. Lest he worry that Shen Yuan might be trying to steal any of the wives from him, at any point. He's not competition!

SY: I am helping to pave the way for Binghe to have better marital relationships! I am the best big brother slash best buddy ever! don't worry, no matter what happens to Binghe, this gege will be your no.1 cheerleader forever!

LBH: is he saying I should get a palace if I want to marry him? well... that sounds reasonable. ok, I will do it! (•̀ ω •́)✧

[elanorpam]

it's been way too long since i last did wildly self-indulgent fanart, so of course i did it for an SVSSS AU that doesn't even have any actual fanfiction written of it yet. but what can i say! it's a compelling scenario! Just check the original post for details!

here's a workplace doodle for his mess of an outfit, too:

Xin Mo is floating behind his back, wrapped in talismans. the collars are meant to be vaguely inspired on a flower bud.

Some notes i came up with for this version, copied straight from a month-old discord convo:

he may have protagonist halo now, but he's for sure not a stallion protagonist. he literally exchanged fates with his favorite person in the world in order to spare them a hellish trial-- that's romantic as fuck!! damn!! this is old CLAMP shoujo and no mistake!!

binghe may no longer be the protag, but he's still a half-heavenly demon. power-wise, heavenly demons can't be topped, and all the remaining heavenly demons are accounted for. so, SQQ can't be a heavenly demon, even in part.

HOWEVER, as a protagonist, there's a factor more important than power! it's the CHUUNI FACTOR. what's more CHUUNI™️ than being part demon?

one option is being part demon and part angel.

how would that even fucking work??????? IDK man, you can either pull from chinese folklore for fairies or heavenly beings or spirits, or you can blame Airplane and go "he accidentally implied the existence of christian elements by means of importing unexamined anime tropes"

Shen Jiu conveniently has a big fat blank on his parentage. We as fans can and have put whatever the hell we wanted there.

SQQ would jump into the abyss still under the impression SJ was a shallow villain. If his trip through the abyss involves recovering SJ's memories somehow, that sure would be fun times, huh?

so he awakens a mysterious ancestry and survives the abyss and takes Xin Mo, but he probably takes longer than Binghe did due to being squishier.

but Xin Mo isn't ACTUALLY his! so he papers it over with sealing talismans, and to battle the temptation to wield it he takes to wearing these longass sleeves. they're probably covered in talismans as well.

guessing Xiu Ya stayed behind to be mooned over by the clown trio in Cang Qiong. let's go full sparkle-sue here and say he's now fighting almost entirely via musical cultivation. i like swan-necked konghou harps so let's go with that, it'll look dope.

why is he barefoot? why WOULDN'T he be, is the question. fragile!! suffering!! dainty!! he's a shrinking flower, tormented by the weight of the One Sword To Rule Them All!!

also for extra pathos, his constant mental struggle against Xin Mo means he can't spare energy to front. it takes constant focus! he's still a bit in his delusional shit, but even when he's going "oh no, binghe is only latched throat-deep onto my dick because he's a good boy who's concerned about me and the danger i could pose by losing control" he'd probably… well, he'd probably say that out loud to anyone who asked. he's in a half-trance, mentally battling the crazy-making sword. lying is too much work.

Wouldn’t resisting Xin Mo’s influence be the mental and spiritual equivalent to training under 400x gravity or something? his wife-beam is going to be off the charts when he puts it down.

also also: who the hell dressed him like that? fucking shang qinghua, of course, after SQQ showed up in the northern palace to punish MBJ for hurting binghe in the conference. did the system explain shit to SQH? on the one hand, extremely funny if it updates him on the role change out of nowhere mid-alliance. on the other hand, extremely funny if he only finds out because Binghe is crying safely in Qing Jing while the scum villain apparently jumped into the abyss.

Here's another link to the original AU post! I've had it open on a tab all this time just so i could point to it when I was done, so make sure to check it out!

[starlightshadowsworld]

Bendy and the dark revival part 5

Thonks

The keepers have taken my friend! Locked him away like some animal! Just because he's big and strong.

But they don't need go after him! No! If they just make sure to feed him in time, Big Steve won't ever hurt a fly!

He loves the food from "the little Devil lounge" best.

If only someone one take the long road back through the sewers, climb up the elevator shaft and seek out his favourite thumping delicacy.

Then they would see how harmless he really is!

... I have... So many questions.

Big Steve?

Also this just feels like a trap.

.

Looks at giant ink monster

... I'm guessing this is Big Steve.

.

Jeez no wonder Bendy didn't wanna come here, the keepers have been torturing him.

Poor lil guy.

... Least I think so, can't quite hear the keepers logs.

Doesn't help that they sound like a glitchier version of Daleks and there's no subtitles. And my ears don't work too good.

.

One food run later, Big Steve happily noms.

.

That's where the ghosts live. Just beyond that door.

The keepers prison.

The Pit.

No one ever comes out, at least not the same.

Thanks, Heidi? For that creepy exposition. So your a lost one like Port.

Wonder if that's where the ink machine is?

But! I could open the door for you. I do know how! I really do!

I sense a catch here.

But first, may we play a game.

There it is.

Hide and seek in a creepy parallel ink world, fun.

.

Found ya.

Doors open and, she gave us a new ability.

Cool.

Looks at mark getting mad cos it would've saved him so much time earlier.

Or not.

.

Decontamination activated

..

How.. How are decontaminising ink? And for what??

.

Excuse me?

Hmm who would be in this world that kinda looks like a ghost like Joey did and is drawing in a prison

... Henry?

You must be really lost to be asking me for help.

It is Henry!

Why would you be a threat to them?

I'm what they call a Cyclebreaker. Once upon a time I knew how to start althe cycle over. And when that happens everything begins again.

Yup you've done that, many times.

Obviously Wilson and the keepers don't want that to happen.

Heh Wilson and the keepers, sounds like a band.

It turns out the Ink demon himself is the key. This world is his, but even he must obey it's rules.

For now at least.

If you can get him to look at something very specific, it will reset everything.

It's a real of film. Labeled, the end.

Ohhh in the first game, that's what he looked at before he turned into beast Bendy... And than it was over.

Makes sense if its the way to break the cycle if that's how Henry's been doing it for over 400 times.

They keep it upstairs in the Pit.

That's convenient.

I just wanna go home.

So did I.

Yeah that sympathy for Joey is fading... Guilty of not you still damned your best friend to his own personal inky hell.

Of your creation.

.

Annnd giant Betram Piedmont head statue is just... Here.

Oh shit is everyone from the last game minus Alison Angel and Sci Boris here?

Because they can't really die because of the ink and I'm betting Wilson would've locked em up.

Cos he's the worst.

... 👀Could Boris be here???

I mean, Heidi did say this is where the ghosts are.

... And Henry's spy glass thing is in contraband.

.

Are you worthy to walk with angels

Jee wonder who wrote that?

And there's someone playing I think that's a banjo??

Sammy!

Sat right in his werid inky summoning circle with his candles and mask on the ground.

Subject 418.

Missed you bud.

.

There's always hope

By a desk, I'm guessing that's Henry's.

And it showed up on the door Joey was standing next to.

.

Idk if its me but the Keepers are giving Projectionist vibes.

.

And from the hollowed darkness, from the wretched abyss a saviour comes at last.

Oh fuck off Wilson.

And we're laying unconscious in a lift with him. As he watches us.

... Why..

Rest yourself, Audery.

I'll be honest, inky and glowing he looks bout the same.

And no, how can anyone rest with you there?!

Your still weak.

I can still kick you where it hurts.

The keepers can be relentless to strangers. But there's nothing to fear, as long as I'm with you.

Your safe now.

... How is you get more creepier by the second..?

Does Joey's ghost know that your with his daughter?

Don't think he'd be happy with it.

You bought me here, you turned me into this... This thing!

This doesn't make sense! I've never done anything to you!

You haven't, but your gonna wanna..

Open your eyes and look around you!

Ah yes, ink, paper just like the last time I looked.

None of this makes sense.

The one thing I agree with you on... That felt icky to say.

Also get back bub!

Drawn walls. Nightmarish creatures.

Drawn walls does, that's pretty normal tbh. Nightmarish creatures, yeah makes sense.

An ancient studio that died out almost 30 years ago.

No that makes sense as well.

It's all fiction.

Careful, he's becoming self aware.

Reality guided by its masters pen.

Noo it was the ink machine.

The franchise isn't Bendy and the masters pen.

What do u want from me?

I need your help, to save my father's life.

Nope.

Nope not helping. Your father's probably worse than you.

And why is your father here?

What is with all the dad's here???

Also how dare you think you can do all this, do this to me and than demand I owe you anything?!

I said it before, and I'll say it again.

Fuck you Wilson!

And chapter 5 the dark revival begins.

This place isn't as safe as it once was.

Because your here.

.

Walks past keeper choking out a lost one

... OooKay than.

.

The demons evil continues to spread.

Than maybe stop getting around.

The world has begun to shutter

Because of you not allowing the cycle to go on.

He's lying Audery!

Hey Bendy, no yeah I believe you over him.

Be quiet!

Damn Audery.

What did you say?

It was nothing

Ohh so Bendy's talking, telepathically?

Probably for the best, Wilson would go nuts if he knew.

.

Oh and he's just shut us in here... Of course.

And there's a gun.

Hehe.

.

Jeez we're in everyone praises Wilson land with his Relax poster everywhere.

Creepy.

.

Welcome to the civilised world.

If civilised means people wanna line up and kiss your ass... I'd rather be a savage.

How do you like my signal towers?

How do you like my right hook?

They nullify the ink demons powers so he cannot pass them.

So no bendy zone.

How long did it take to come up with this?

... How long have we been here?

I wish I could say I invented them, but it seems our friends at the Gent Corporation had a demon problem of their own, long ago.

... Hmmm...a demon like Bendy?

Who's this lady?

Now my dear if you'll excuse me. I have a lot to prepare. We'll talk later, I promise.

Take all the time you need.

..

Also is that a portrait of yourself behind you with you holding a sword to a cowering picture of Bendy?

The ego on you... Also again, how long have we been here that you hag that painted.

I'm assuming painted cos that never happened for a photo to be taken.

Besides you must be very tired.

Tired of your bullshit.

A quick rest will do you good. Betty will show you too your room.

So this creepy maid looking genderbent eyeless Jack Lady is called Betty?

She's my housekeeper.

I'd have goouged my eyes out too if I was your house keeper, poor lady.

Among other things.

... To reiterate, poor Betty.

You never actually killer the ink demon, did you?

Call him out Audery.

No. He's too powerful to destroy.

Imagining Bendy just sat smirking like 😏 yup im too powerful.

So we sealed him away, trapped him in a different form.

One that was smaller, harmless.

... You made baby Bendy...

It was a fitting prison.

Grrrr

Although he seems to have found a way to free himself.

Because your pathetic and he's too powerful. Also no we will not be dealing with that

There's some nice fresh blankets all laid out for you. You'll be dreaming in no time.

Betty... Betty, tap twice if your being held against your will.

Wait Wilson. One more thing, if you needed my help, why didn't you just ask?

Would you have believed me?

... Yeah.

Yeah if you mentioned it after we got sent here and clearly you don't care if we did or not.

Wouldn't have believed me, like your speech earlier was any better.

Smh.

Come along! And no more dawdling this way now.

Through... The same door as Wilson... Oh boy.

Ah you're here at last, it's so exciting having you with us!

... Soo exciting...

Now, to give you some bearings, we're currently in the south wing. Wilsons laboratory is downstairs.

A wing? How fancy is this place? What is this a palace?... More like a tower where the princess is locked up.

So the ink demon is why the north wing is locked up and if I go there I'll be ripped to shreds if I don't go with Wilson.

Good to know.

It's not very often I have guests to look after. Almost everyone here either can't speak or they're completly mad.

... And what Betty, makes you different?

Finest bedroom here you should see where I sleep, ew.

Wilson got you in some nasty servants quarters? Fuck him you get this room when I bust out.

... I don't trust that "sleeping draft"...

Is it always night here?

It's always dark if that's what you mean.For as long as I can remember.

Are you... Very old.

Audery! You cant just ask that.

No, as far as I understand, I'm something quite new. Although, I didn't turn out the way I was supposed to.

So she came from the ink machine?

One in a long line of failed experiments.

Ohh she's one of Wilsons experiments.

But Wilson will keep trying.

And do you trust Wilson.

This is the realm of the ink demon his shadow hangs over us all I don't trust anyone.

Smart lady.

But Wilson takes care of me.

You poor thing.

Keeps me safe, he once said I remind him of something he called his mother.

Hes trying to save his father and his mother has preseumbly passed on and he's trying to recreate her?

Tell me is that a good thing. Where you too are from.

I'm not sure.

... Same...

I mean you remind him of his mother so much so he preseumbly gave you her name.

And he makes you sleep in what seems like nasty servants quarters, and keeps you around as your house keeper.

.... Doesn't paint a good picture...

And he'll keep trying until she's, what? Till he's perfectly recreated her?

And if that's his mother, what about his father?

.

I erm think we'll give the sleeping draft a miss... Don't take it Audery... Don't!

.

[globofhoney]

Tastes of flesh

(WARNING: blood, biting, violence, a bit of not SFW(?), ugh! idk what to tell y'all! it's damn sickening alright?)

..................................................................................

For followers of the light...she is nothing more than a filthy wench who should be put to execution for the treacherous sin she committed, tainted by creature from kingdom of darkness...is only the beginning of her journey down the path of unholy bonds.

She is only a fragile little toy, in hands of the insatiable demon, general of Lokheim. The day she bound herself to him, was when she realized it was too late to escape from death grip of this insane demon.

"Do not fret my little lamb, im not going to hurt you...much~"

His touch is harsh, callous, and full of cruelty, yet, it filled with strange sense of compassion for the wretched being such as herself, or maybe... it's only her who is completely blinded by the dark desires she has for him, to be with a demon is like hanging oneself's on a thread, after all...

"S-stop teasing me!"

For a lowly and weak human, she is such a brave, young soul. Spoke back to him in that manner, not only once, but quite a lot. Despite the horror tales of this carnage lord, he spared her life, and given her a new purpose, to become his plaything, through and through.

He always look at her with those red, abyssal blaze colored gaze, observe how (y/n) timidly move around and about his den doing her own business, like predator stalking prey in the dark. Surely, her skull could be a fine collection in his trophy room, but no...Omen has another plan, after all...a skull of a non warrior wouldn't worth his time to clean and keep.

They shared many moons together in heated and messy nights, Lokheim could be cold sometimes, but of course...little miss (y/n) refuse to be rot away in the unpredictable, freezing wind of the abyss. She begged, and made a demand from him, but also trying to be tough and unyielding in front of a maniac warmonger, Oh...what a cute little thing.

"Indulge my curiosity, little one, how do you feel about me?"

He asks the same question once again, and for a mortal whose actions based on act of folly, (y/n) could not say a single, not even foul curses she should say right in his face.

"I...I love you"

Sweet words rolled out of her tongue like a glob of honey, oh how much it strokes his ego and lift his spirit to ecstasy. He could sees through her clouded heart and mind, and craves it more.

"Show me then, show me how much you love me"

Softer fleshes and bones are considered as a good meal for Omen, he could just rip her apart and devour her literally like he did to any weaklings who stray too close to him, but she has more worth than that.

"Please...d-don't bite me too hard, it's- hurt!"

His violent adoration is always too much for her, anyway. But despite her futile resistance, her body always welcome him with warmth, it is alluring and making him hungry at the same time.

_________________________________________

It is all about lust for him, his little plaything knows how to lift his spirit indeed, Omen could not help but drowned in (y/n)'s lovely scent, and her mortality. One day she will die, whether it be by old age or fatal wounds, then...faded from his memory.

For now, he will indulge in scarlet paradise a little longer, the place only him and her existed.

"you're gorgeous my little human, all these lovely fleshes and blood...mine to take"

ferocious and swift, he always makes her scream in pleasure everytime he filled her.

"You look prettier with those marks on your body, i hope you like them~"

He is (y/n)'s scarlet paradise...

and she is also his...

[nemeseos-noctua]

hello!¡ idk if you guys have wrote for angst but i’ll req one since the reqs are open,, can i req for xiao, zhongli and venti where their [mortal] s/o slowly dies on their arms. yk since they’re basically immortal and how they’d react to losing another loved one. ty!

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: xiao, zhongli, venti (separate) x gn!reader

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: venti and zhongli story spoilers, not proofread

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: the way i teared UP while writing venti’s (also i love this request. i spent like 40 minutes writing it during a class but AGHH I LOVE THE FREEDOM I HAD WHILE WRITING IT)

a part of him hates himself for loving you

he knew. he knew you were but a mortal, a fleeting love and a fleeting life. and yet, he lowered his guard. he let himself love, he let himself feel joy and bask in your warmth that the lingering thought of ‘temporary’ left his veins

but holding you like this—in his arms, in his cold cold arms that already missed your missing warmth, his bloodied gloves and sunny irises:

he hates you. he hates you for loving him. he hates himself for loving you. he should’ve never subjected himself to this pain—

but he’ll never stop loving the memories of you

“Sorry, Xiao,” You smiled weakly, chest heaving with restrained coughs as the Yaksha winced, cradling you in his arms as the moon began to rise.

“Don’t speak. Conserve your energy,” The Adeptus disregarded your words, his heart pounding against his chest with a pain so unfamiliar, a pain of heartache he wish he never experienced.

Maybe, if he had rejected you that fateful night—he’d feel this pain still. He’d feel it, just, earlier.

Would it be worth it? To sacrifice your memories, your love— for an easier farewell. Maybe, if he had never fallen in love with you, maybe, if you had just stayed in your mortal life and never seeked him out—maybe it would be you who was crying on his behalf.

Gazing down at you, Xiao’s grip on the fabrics of your shirt tightened. You had changed since he first met you—wrinkles adorned your face, [e/c] eyes drooping and your bones were stiffer and more fragile than his ever was.

And yet, he loved you like the first time he met you—though he’d never admit it, appearance never really mattered to him anyways. Though he held a youthful visual, he knew that if his true age was put into a look... it’d be nothing more than skin and bones.

“I love you, Xiao.”

“Don’t.”

Don’t. Don’t make him love you even more, don’t make him miss you before you had even left.

Don’t. Don’t leave him—don’t leave him stranded again, destined to fight against demons and protect Liyue even after its archon’s passing. 

Don’t, don’t make him cry uncharacteristic tears. Don’t make him long for a love that was gone.

xiao would put you to rest once the beat of your heart comes to a stop

he is painfully familiar with the traditions of a passing. he is familiar with the way he’d set someone down into the earth. he is familiar with the soil and the rain and the moon and the stars

he—adeptus xiao—was familiar with death. in fact, he dealed in it

this is most likely xiao’s first time watching someone die from old age

or—someone he loves

he is used to the realm of immortals, he is used to watching them be murdered or sabotaged. but never has he seen old age take someone

and he wished to never see it again.

xiao would close his heart from the world—if it wasn’t closed already, it’d be barricaded by twice the amount. thorns used to block the outside world would stab his own heart, and xiao would only know grief for a period of time

he’d find himself coming back to your final resting place, he’d find himself planting glaze lilies and flowers at your grave as he mourns a lost love

he—still hates you. he hates the love you gave him and the love you shared... but now it doesn’t hurt so much anymore

your death would only prompt him to become stronger. to become colder, to hate the world even more than he already does

zhongli would sometimes visit xiao, and even he is pained by your death. the world—it twisted and turned, it moved and wove tales with the strings of fate...

but never before has xiao wished he was mortal. if he were mortal, he could pass peacefully. if he were mortal, he could meet you again

mortals.

xiao hates mortals.

he hates them because being mortal was what took you away from him

the touch of death has numbed to zhongli

he has experienced it far too much, but watching you fade in his arms was probably the worst yet most bittersweet way to go

on one hand, zhongli is relieved. he is relieved that you passed peacefully, he is relieved that you left without any pain

yet on the other hand, he is heartbroken. he is broken to watch yet another loved one go, he is broken to have to arrange the casket that you will sleep eternally in

zhongli is grateful. he is grateful to ever meet you, he is grateful to have the honor of putting a ring on your finger and being able to lock your lips with his. he is grateful for so many things and yet he still wants more

he wishes to hold you until time itself fades, he wishes to experience the present with you instead of dwelling on the past that you so regrettably will become apart of

he, zhongli, consultant of wangsheng’s funeral parlor—wished for time. a time he so selfishly held as an immortal.

“The glaze lilies are beautiful today, are they not?” Zhongli hummed, sipping on some tea as he gazed fondly out of the window. His warm coat did nothing to prevent the cold of his side, the lack of your voice or the missing light from your eyes.

Everyday was the same. Everyday was him sitting—alone—in the funeral parlor, the pungent smell of death and cremations flooding his senses as all he could do was watch. Watch the world go by, watch his friends and loved ones die one by one as he was subjected to an eternal dance of loss.

Though, Zhongli knows that you will never truly die as long as you are in his heart. He remembers your smile, your laughs, your growing pains and complaints, your eventual wisdom and hearty laugh that you shared with him moments before your time.

He remembers so much, he loves so much, he loves you and who you were, he loves you and all of you.

“I must admit, I miss you terribly,” The consultant’s voice softened, his fingers setting the tea in his hands down as a lump formed in his throat.

“Yet I would never regret loving you.”

zhongli would stay painfully normal

he does not want your death to hinder him—he knows you would not want that. so he lives life, he carries on—but your memory never leaves

your stories and triumphs will be the topic for one of his best stories. and that otherworldly traveler... he hopes they carry on your legacy with each and every world they visit

and he hopes you... you and your beautiful smiles, you and your love and your kindness and your ambitions—

he hopes you are resting peacefully in the flowers he prepared for you

venti would strum you your favorite tunes as you pass

a bittersweet smile paints his face as your back rests against his chest, frail and weak coughs leaving your system as you heave for a single breath

do you remember? do you remember the way the two of you used to climb the tree at windrise? do you remember how you’d drag him from the late diluc’s tavern? do you remember how you’d stay up late at night listening to his songs and mindless chatter?

he remembers. he remembers watching you grow, he remembers standing beside you as you ran for your dreams. he remembered gliding with you aboard the strange island of time you insisted on exploring

“I love you, so so so so so much, [Y/N]...” Venti would muster, wiping his tears as you couldn’t even turn around to gaze at him. To gaze at his youthful form and unchanging appearance, to gaze into those azure eyes you had fallen for and his scheming tactics. 

Burying his nose into the crook of your neck, Venti took one deep breath. He loved the way you smelled, how it seemed like you rolled in a field of sweet flowers (though he knew your stiff bones would never allow such a thing), how you used to play along with his schemes when you were younger.

Venti loves you, and all of you. He loved you when you were a young adult, he loved you when you were middle-aged, he loved you when you were an elder.

He love love love love loves you, so much so that it seemed to overpower the pain.

He knew your time was up, he knew his time with you was gone, but he persists on with your memory.

mondstadt has surely changed ever since your passing

venti finds himself waddling into angel’s share twice a day, even if he can’t afford it. he finds himself on the receiving end of pitied gazes and free drinks (for no reason, though everyone knows the reason). he finds the way klee is no longer a child and the way the honorary knight never visits mondstadt anymore quite jarring

he finds himself—lost. he has lost so many, watched so many go, held so many fallen friends in his hands that he can no longer count

though, he misses you. a lot, actually. when klee is busy being an adult and bombing abyss mages instead of fish, venti finds himself weaving tunes of your valor and honor at the statue of—himself

he finds himself longing for you, loving you as if you were still by his side. he sings and sings, strumming his lyre so much that he hopes you can hear them from the heavens

and after—after he has made his and your mark on the newer generation, venti, the windborne bard, falls into a slumber

he sleeps. he sleeps in celestia in hopes of dreaming a dream with you. he sleeps in hope of finding you in a neverland so beautiful

he hopes that one day when he descends once more amongst his people—he hopes you will be there. just like the first time he met you.

— constellations!

[vodkassassin]

My dude, my gal, or maybe nonbinary pal (just to be sure, don't know your pronouns) you gave me the light, you have opened my eyes. All this ships I didn't know I needed and now can't get enough of. Your writing is a DELIGHT. For a prompt, how do SQH's disciples see him? What about the demons under MBJ? That one shot of LQG getting jealous of MBJ in which the underling backs away slowly means this isn't the first time that has happened right?

Thank you so much! It really makes me happy to hear that people enjoy reading my stuff. It’s half of what makes writing it so enjoyable for me. Another part I enjoy is how I seem to be dragging all you poor fools down with me into my shipping abyss of rare pairs. God bless.

I went with the demon perspective! Might do a disciple perspective next time? Idk. @quiensecomioelpie

—

As an agent of the Northern kingdom, Mao Liang is required to attend strategy meetings whenever they are present within the palace. Regardless of whether they had just returned from a long, grueling mission in the field only the day before, or not.

Luckily, there’s never that much attention brought to them, and Mao Liang is never expected to share their opinion or thoughts during the meeting, only directly to his majesty and the advisor afterwards. A relief, because if Mao Liang had to speak to the dozens of generals and high ranking soldiers and fellow agents that stand around the colossal, war room table alongside them… Well, that’s a crowd, isn’t it? If Mao Liang was forced to publicly speak, they might actually die.

Someone who doesn’t seem to ever have a problem with addressing a crowd of demons, though — be they gruff soldiers or generals or a glowering, looming king — is someone that is worth admiring.

Lord Shang pulls his furs around his shoulders more tightly, attention directed almost entirely on the maps sprawled out over the table they’ve all gathered around today. His head tilts toward the side just slightly, like a predator whose eyes have zeroed in on his prey, and Mao Liang has to fight the urge to shiver at the sight.

The odd twitches that they see in their fellow demons tells them that they, too, experience the same unease, so at least they’re not alone in this.

It was an odd thing, at first, to fear a human — much less a cultivator. In the beginning, as Lord Shang was just ascending into his climb for power in the Northern Kingdom, it had been something Mao Liang had been almost offended by. Just as any demon in their right mind would be, faced with such a slight, twitchy little thing, whose eyes rove to and fro as if they are a frightened animal. It screams of weakness, to any demon eyes.

Any demon that doesn’t already know better, at least.

Within the decade, however, it became clear that this feeling did, indeed, have its place in Mao Liang’s heart. That they were not experiencing a falsity. That Lord Shang, despite his diminutive appearance, is deserving of this respect, and not just because his majesty is so fond of him.

Not only is the cultivator powerful — Mao Liang still shudders in remembrance, whenever there is a storm in the sky strong enough to birth lightning — but he is conniving. He is intelligent to a terrifying degree. He is scarily efficient, productive, and reliable.

When Lord Shang says something will be done, it is done.

When Lord Shang says changes need to be made, they are made, no matter how many voices make their dissent known (nor how many idiots have, over the years, attempted something much more underhanded — they all fail, each and every one of them, and eventually the attempts were fewer and fewer, before just completely grinding to a halt).

If Lord Shang decides you are not fit for a position….

Well. In the beginning, he’d have just taken care of it himself. Through varying means, all of them increasingly terrifying, according to the rumors Mao Liang has heard over the years. Now, though…

Now, if Lord Shang decides someone has to go, the king himself is ever so obliging to make sure that it happens, often post haste.

So much power in the palm of a single person, even if he is an immortal master — it’s awe-inspiring.

So, Lord Shang indeed deserves the respect he commands from the heart of every Northern demon, and even those beyond their borders. However long it had taken them all to realize (and then accept), the state of the kingdom in recent years has been thriving more than it ever has in the past. Things haven’t been this good since perhaps the early golden age of the current Mobei Jun’s great and mighty ancestors. And they all know exactly who to credit that for.

“Here.”

Mao Liang startles, gaze snapping down to the map and zeroing in on where Lord Shang’s dainty (and deceptively powerful, mustn’t forget that) finger is tapping on an outlined enemy outpost.

“Eliminate them, first.” Lord Shang says.

“Ah — my lord?” One of the generals hedges awkwardly, tone coming out rather flat in his attempt not to offend — as it happens with most demons, their accents when speaking the common language does not leave a lot of room for niceties and polite speech. It’s caused a lot of scares with Lord Shang, where the demons under his attention are never certain if they’re about to get banished from the kingdom or executed by the king (which would be a mercy, certainly).

Mao Liang winces, covering it up by clenching their jaw tightly and eyeing the general who spoke from the corner of his eye, as Lord Shang turns his attention directly upon him.

The general is standing ramrod straight, shoulders stiff and brow pinched, when the advisor’s aquamarine gaze cuts to him. The demal shouldn’t have spoken up at all.

“What is it?” Lord Shang asks, pleasantly. Mao Liang feels a shiver wrack their spine.

Lord Shang is always pleasant, right up until he isn’t. It’s when he isn’t, that one has to watch out for oneself. But it’s ever so difficult to know when that caution is required, because Lord Shang is unpredictable, in a sense.

It takes a lot to truly and irreparably offend the honorable advisor. The last one who had…

They’re still scraping the poor guy’s innards off the wall of that conference hall, Mao Liang is pretty sure.

“That outpost…” the General begins, haltingly. He eyes the peak lord hesitantly, searching the neutral mask for any sign of displeasure, before continuing. “It’s not very important in the grand scheme of things, my lord. The enemy does not particularly value it. To expend our forces on its destruction would, I believe, be a waste of our resources at this time.”

There. Succinct and to the point. Mao Liang cranes their head around to peer at the advisor, who stands at the head of the table.

In the shadow of his majesty’s great bulk and dark glower (which is currently directed at the silently sweating General, poor demal), Lord Shang looks so much smaller than he actually is. Almost breakable. Non-threatening.

Mao Liang has never heard a more hilarious joke in their life. Non-threatening, their ass.

“You would think so, wouldn’t you?” And oh, there is cheer injected into the advisor’s voice, now. Mao Liang watches in fascination as the general visibly cringes. “Ah, but that’s where you’d be wrong, General Peng! You see, this particular outpost actually is rather important, especially to our enemy. They’d just like for us to think that it isn’t. The larger outpost, here?”

Lord Shang sweeps his hand across the map to the larger outline that’s much closer to the Northern borders.

“That seems more of a threat to us, just like you pointed out earlier. And I agree, it does seem that way — however, this larger outpost is only a decoy. A red herring, if you will. It’s larger and more heavily manned specifically to distract us from this smaller outpost over here.”

General Peng flinches minutely, having his own contribution to the meeting so effortlessly and nonchalantly thrown back into his face as only an incorrect assumption rather than a logical deduction. He doesn’t speak, though, even to ask the advisor where he’d gotten such information from.

No one ever asks Lord Shang how he knows something. Everyone knows that if Lord Shang knows something, then he just knows it, and you are to trust it, because he is never, ever wrong.

It is frightening enough, having the advisor of the king know your name, personally, without you ever having introduced yourself to him. Small, meaningless facts about you, the names of your family, where your clan ancestral ritual grounds are (something that no demon tells anyone outside their own clan, upon pain of death. And having that just thrown out there in casual conversation? Terrifying.). What you had been doing, while undercover, just the week before….

Mao Liang’s first meeting with the Peak Lord Shang had been memorable, to say the least. They had come out of it with a very, very healthy fear and respect for the man, of course. Ask any demon in the Eternal Winter Palace — hell, any demon in the damn kingdom itself — and they would tell you the same.

“It’s this outpost we have to worry about.” Lord Shang is saying, tapping once again on the smaller outline. “It’s the center of their operations. Everything that actually matters is hidden underneath it. It is absolutely crucial that those of you in the field ensure that it will no longer be a problem. You should take, I’d say, around three platoons.”

Mao Liang glances down at the outline. The outpost is tiny, nestled into the belly of a valley. Just looking at it, they would guess there are only perhaps a thousand demons in total guarding the place. Sending in six thousand soldiers to take it out is a bit of overkill.

But, then again, if the real operations are all happening underground, concealed….

General Peng’s lips thin into a pale line. Then, the demal nods in acceptance. “If Lord Shang says so.”

“I do,” Lord Shang says, quietly, not even lifting his gaze back up from the map, staring down at where his own finger is pressed to the outpost.

General Peng’s entire face goes pale.

Before anything else can happen, like Lord Shang going completely silent and unhelpful (It’s happened in the past, Lord Shang deciding that they no longer required his advice, if they were so certain of their own (always subpar) intelligence on the matter. His majesty’s ire, in response, had been absolutely brutal on everyone even peripherally involved. Mao Liang had been lucky enough to not have been in attendance at that particular meeting, but they’d heard stories.)— before anything like that could happen, the king himself decided that enough is enough.

Mobei Jun shoves off the table and sends them all a sharp glare.

“Well,” his majesty says, powerful voice expanding into the air and filling the cavernous war room like it was something material. “You have your orders. What else do you want? Get out.”

As they all scramble to their feet and head for the door, Mao Liang is at the forefront. They hate tactical meetings. They’d rather be on the field. Or in their quarters, sleeping. Or in their quarters, reading. Anywhere that other people are not. This meeting has already drained their meager energy levels to almost nothing. It’s nap time. It’s nap time.

“Mao Liang,” Mobei Jun’s voice calls, and they fall to an abrupt stop just before the doors. “Stay behind.”

Demons, generals and soldiers and even fellow agents, stream past them, and they quietly despair. Fuck! They’d been so close!

They turn, and step back to the table. They execute a bow, working to keep any expression off their face entirely — especially when Lord Shang smiles at them. Oh, ancestors.

“There’s a mission that requires the best counter-intelligence agent that we have,” Lord Shang begins, as flattering as ever, and Mao Liang knows immediately that they’re in for a lot of work. Dammit. “Here, follow me. There’s no reason to do this in such a drafty, echoing hall. I’ll debrief you on the way to the kitchens.”

Ah! Mao Liang hasn’t eaten since yesterday! And from the glimmer in Lord Shang’s eye as the man smiles, he knows it too.

Another thing about Lord Shang, that Mao Liang particularly admires, is how the man cares, despite everything else. If you ever work directly underneath Lord Shang, you can always be absolutely certain that he will look out for you.

In the Northern Kingdom, there is no place safer.

[jiang-xinfei]

Ok just nearly finished reading svss and FFS moshang is cute and also saw a fan art where sqh was the spy of mbj's uncle? Yea and I was like this goin to be my aus mfs

So first off sqh is a spy of mbj's uncle (I forgot his name sorry) and he hungs out(secretly dating) mbj

So smt a happened that went into a fight with mbj and his uncle idk what maybe got caught making out with sqh and finally found a reason to kill him? Or smt anyways so yea

And thennnn mbj sent sqh to the human realms cause he knows he'll be safer there(and yes sqh is already airplane bro here)

So when sqh reached there he just worked the same like everythings normal but his still worried about mbj that the only thing that's keeping him from thinking mbj is dead is because of the sapphire pendant mdj gave him(they exchanged it btw) that knows whether the other holder of the pendant is alive or not and when the other holder dies? Or the pendant is broken it turns black.

The only one who knows about there relationship is shen qingqi(yes he is already cucumber bro when he came back) so yea after a couple of years the sapphire pendant turned black and he thought that mbj is already dead(which is totally possible because there was a lot of plot holes and not to mention the whole plot already devitated)

butttt no mbj didn't die the pendant just got full of too much demonic energy when he fall in the abyss(yes mbj fell in the abyss heavily injured and yes him and lbh met)

Anyways since sqh thought that his lover was dead obviously he was heartbroken duh and went into seclusion

And he left seclusion he got stronger (and yes if ur asking me he does no how to use demonic energy through spiritual energy idk how he does it but he can also the perks of being under mbj's uncle) and got better control of his spiritual and demonic energy tho he masked it so his still an outer disciple the other only know that he got a bit stronger nothing else

And then mbjs ambushed(more specifically the moment they met in canon extra) came.

Sqh wasn't sure if he was mbj or mbjs uncle since mbj was dead but was still hoping it was mbj so he stayed behind a bit and since mbj didn't say his name yet he really thought it was mbjs uncle when he stopped dead in his tracks when he heard mbj say "q-qinghua?... "

Sooo since he heard his name he knows it's mbj since mbjs uncle only calls him little spy so he used his ice powers and killed the other (7 disciples) to make it look like mbj was the one who killed them(yes he knows how to murder and fake it I mean he did train under mbjs uncle as a spy and when push comes to shove and although he doesn't like to kill he'll kill)

so since the evidence was gone he went closer towards mbj and saw he was injured (like the one is canon yes) knocked him out before he can say anything and carried him to an inn

And the happenings was the same at canon but when he got when qingqi didn't interrogate him and helped him instead 😆(perks of being BFFs to another master liar)

And in the future he became mbj consort and everyone loves him there since he knows how to do paperwork,accounting, housework, trades, and etc and got worshipped by everyone there😂🤣

[pikapeppa]

Fenris/f!Hawke: Wish

Act 2 angst and unresolved sexual tension between Fen and Rynne Hawke, anyone? That’s all I have to serve today. Also desire demons. 👀😳

~8000 words somehow, IDK. Read on AO3 instead. 

*************************************

Varric sat back with an enigmatic smile. “And that’s why that one specific manhole in Lowtown doesn’t lead to the sewers — and in fact, doesn’t lead anywhere at all. Whether it was filled in by workers hired by the merchant’s wife, or by magic, well…” He shrugged and lifted Hawke’s flask to his lips. “That’s anyone’s guess, really.” 

Hawke let out a low whistle and poked the campfire with a stick. “There’s a good lesson in that, actually: there’s no fury like that of a merchant’s wife whose husband keeps a pair of underpants for all the women he slept with during his travels.” 

Fenris snorted and rested his folded arms on his knees. “That is a pretty specific lesson, Hawke.”

“Exactly,” she said. “Should be easy to follow then, no?” She winked at him, and he awkwardly returned her smile before dropping her gaze. 

Two months had passed since he’d made the egregious mistake of sleeping with her. She had told him that things could go back to normal, and true to her word, she’d gone back to acting as though nothing had happened between them.

Fenris was grateful for this. Truly, he was. He only wished that he was able to act as normally around her as she was acting around him.

In truth, that wasn’t the only thing that Fenris wished for. Every night, after Hawke cheerfully bade him farewell in the wake of their daily misadventures, he would sit at the table in his derelict mansion and wish for all sorts of things: that his life had been different. That his night with her had been different — that his mind hadn’t decided that that was the moment to present him with fleeting flashes of the memories he’d lost and reminders of the gaping abyss that was his past. 

Every night, Fenris would sit at the table and wish that he was different, and that he could… that he and Hawke could… but no. There was no point wishing for that, because he was incapable of giving her what she really wanted. The most he could hope for was to be able to emulate Hawke and act like everything was fine.

Merrill’s voice interrupted his melancholy thoughts. “That was a scary story, Varric, but it wasn’t a proper ghost story.” 

Varric raised his eyebrows. “Who said it needed to be a ghost story?”

“Hawke did!” Merrill said. “She specifically said ghost stories. Didn’t you, Hawke?”

“I did,” Hawke said affably. “Ghost stories only seem appropriate, right? Don’t get me wrong, Varric, I still liked your story!” she said quickly. “It was nice and chilling. I’ll certainly be throwing out my trophy-underpants collection when I get home.”

Varric and Merrill laughed, but Fenris frowned. “Appropriate? What do you mean by that?”

Merrill answered before Hawke could speak. “Because of where we are, of course,” she said. “The Veil in this part of the Wounded Coast is thinner than in other places.”

Fenris’s eyebrows shot up. “The Veil is thin here? How do you know that?”

“You can feel it,” she said. Then she eyed him doubtfully. “Well, maybe you can’t. But Hawke and I can. It’s easier to do magic here.”

“Easier for your beloved demons to see you here, you mean,” he retorted. “Is that why you asked Hawke to bring us here?”

Merrill wilted and rolled her eyes, and Hawke shifted closer to him. “Fenris—”

He scowled at her. “You knew about this potential danger and you didn’t mention it?” 

“Don’t be angry at Hawke,” Merrill scolded. “It was my idea to come here.”

He gave her an arch look. “And why exactly did you want to come to this cursed place?”

“Because it’s pretty,” Merrill said.

“Because it’s pretty?” he demanded. “You brought us to a place of danger because it is pretty?”

“It’s not dangerous!” Merrill exclaimed. “And it is pretty! Did you even watch the sunset? That lovely green tint comes from the Veil, you know.” She lifted her chin belligerently. “Not all magical things are bad, Fenris.”

He curled his lip and prepared to retort, but Hawke cut in with a little laugh. “Hey now, the Veil might be a smidge on the thin side, but it’s fine. Nothing bad has happened, right? We saw a lovely sunset and had some lovely stew. We’re having a lovely time, aren’t we?”

Her smile was hopeful, and Fenris eyed her with rising exasperation. “Just because nothing bad has happened yet doesn’t mean nothing will.”

“It won’t,” she said. “I’m sure of it. I’m absolutely positive! I swear on Varric’s chest hair—”

“Hey,” Varric complained.

Hawke blithely went on. “—that nothing bad will happen before we pack up to leave here tomorrow.”

Fenris shot her a skeptical look, then settled back. “Fine. But if any misfortune befalls us, I’m holding her responsible.” He jerked his chin at Merrill, who wrinkled her nose at him.

“Nothing bad will happen,” Hawke said firmly. “I promise.” She took her flask from Varric and handed it to Fenris, then smiled at Merrill. “All right, Merrill, you owe us a ghost story now.”

“Oh good!” Merrill said. She settled herself more comfortably on her picnic blanket and looked at them all with wide eyes. “You’ve all probably heard stories of the Brecilian Forest, far to the east: that the only people allowed inside are elves, and that anyone else who enters the forest mysteriously goes missing. Well, I can’t say if that’s true or not, but have you ever heard of a sylvan?”

Hawke shook her head, and Merrill smiled and continued her tale, but Fenris could only listen with half an ear; the rest of his attention was on the hairs at the back of his neck, which were standing at attention. Now that Merrill had mentioned the thinness of the Veil, he could swear that he felt what she meant: it was like a faint creeping feeling in the air, even though nothing was there. Or as though the air was slightly heavier here than it was in Kirkwall. Or maybe he was just imagining it. 

He didn’t think his worries about demons were unwarranted, though. Hawke and Merrill had never seen the kinds of demon summonings that Fenris had seen. On more than one occasion in Tevinter, he’d witnessed careless apprentices being twisted into monsters due to their inability to control the demons they conjured, only to have the incidents brushed under the carpet by a magister’s whisper and a few carefully placed pouches of coin. Demons were not a small and inconsequential threat, and it behooved Hawke and Merrill both to remember that. 

“Hey,” Hawke murmured.

He looked at her. Varric and Merrill were chatting on the other side of the fire, but Hawke was eyeing him, and his heart did a little flip; her expression was soft and sympathetic.

He dropped her gaze and picked idly at her red scarf on his wrist. “What?” he said. “What is it?”

“If you’re that worried, we can go home,” she said.

His heart squeezed again, this time with a bit of guilt. Truthfully, he would have preferred to go back to Kirkwall. But Hawke wouldn’t have agreed to this trip to the Wounded Coast if she didn’t really want to be here. She had just had that argument with Carver at the Gallows yesterday afternoon, and escaping Kirkwall with all its demands for her attention was one of her favourite ways to cope… 

He roughly ran a hand through his hair. “No,” he said reluctantly. “We don’t need to leave.”

“Are you sure?” she said. “If you really think it’s unsafe…”

“It would be equally unsafe to travel through the wilderness when it’s this dark,” he pointed out. “If we aren’t attacked by demons here, it would be bandits or murderers looking to bury their deeds as we walked along the coast to get back to Kirkwall.”

“Don’t forget the giant spiders,” Hawke added. “Wolves too, probably.”

He gave her a sideways glance, then huffed. “Those as well, yes.”

She smiled, then stretched her legs out and wiggled her bare toes toward the fire. “We might as well make the best of it, then. Can I toast an Orlesian guimauve or two for you?”

“Orlesian guimauve?” he said blankly. “What is that?”

“Ooh, you’re about to find out,” she said with relish. A moment later, she was spearing a soft white object with the stick she’d used to stoke the fire and holding the stick over the fire.

Nonplussed, he watched as Hawke carefully rotated the guimauve over the flame. It caught on fire once, but Hawke didn’t seem particularly concerned; she quickly blew out the flame and continued to toast it, and by the time she removed it from the fire, it was nearly melting off the stick.

She held it out to him with a smile. “One toasted guimauve for the most handsome elf in Thedas.”

He raised an eyebrow. “It’s burnt.”

“That’s the best part,” she said. “Go on, try it.”

He gingerly removed the hot guimauve from the stick and took a small bite. It was incredibly sweet with a hint of vanilla, and exactly as Hawke had said, the burnt part added a depth of flavour that really did enhance the taste.

He looked at her. “This is good.”

She beamed at him. “It is, isn’t it? I like how the burnt parts are bitter. Makes the sweetness all the sweeter. Orlesian sweets are all about mixing the bitter and the sweet. There’s this kind of Orlesian cake I’ve heard about called la misère exquise, and I think it’s actually got deep mushroom in it which seems at first glance like a terrible idea…” She continued to chatter while she speared two more marshmallows and held them over the fire, and for a time, Fenris was able to put aside his worries as he listened to Hawke and watched her toasting the Orlesian treats. By the time Hawke, Merrill, and Fenris were getting ready to go to sleep, he was almost able to ignore the faint creeping feeling at the back of his neck. 

Hawke stood up and stretched, then kissed Varric on the forehead. “Goodnight, Varric. Holler if you need us.”

“I will,” he said. “Either that, or some unlucky idiot will.” He patted his crossbow, which was resting against the boulder he was sitting on. 

Hawke grinned at him, then turned to Fenris and batted her eyelashes. “You sure you don’t want to share a tent with Merrill and me?”

He gave her a chiding look. “Kind of you to offer, but no. I’ll enjoy my tent on my own.” 

“I’m sure you will,” Hawke said lasciviously. She winked at him, then crawled into the tent she was sharing with Merrill.

Fenris wryly shook his head, then entered his own tent and settled into his bedroll. He folded his arms behind his head and sighed, then gazed up as the fabric of his tent as he waited for sleep to claim him. 

A few metres away, he could hear Hawke and Merrill chatting quietly in their tent. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he could hear the warm cadence of Hawke’s voice. Her voice always had this characteristic warmth to it, like she was always on the verge of laughing, and when her words were muffled and soft like they were right now, he could almost imagine that she was murmuring in his ear. 

A heavy feeling filled his chest. Sharing a tent with Hawke, having her whisper in his ear with that laughter-laced voice… That was another thing that he might wish for. He could add it to the list of all the other things he wanted, but couldn’t – or shouldn’t – claim. 

He sighed and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he was in Hawke’s house. 

He glanced around curiously, then padded into the front foyer. To the left, a wash of flickering orange light poured through the doorway: the fire in her study must be lit. 

“Hawke?” he called. He made his way toward the study, but stopped dead in the doorway. 

Hawke was kneeling on the carpet in front of the fire, and she was naked. 

Fenris’s heart seized. The fire was indeed lit, and it was painting her bare golden skin in a multitude of sunset hues. Her knees were parted and her spine was arched in a perfect bow, and her fingers were clenched on her thighs. Her chin was tilted up, and her expression was one of complete rapture: eyes closed, cheeks flushed, her raspberry-red lips parted as though to accept a kiss…

A kiss from the huge, shadow-coloured demon that was clutching her by the throat. 

“Hawke!” he bellowed.

The demon looked up at him then disappeared, and Hawke fell forward onto her hands. “Fuck,” she gasped. She looked up at Fenris with wide and haunted eyes. “Fenris? What – why are you – why—?”

“What are you doing?” he yelled. “You nearly let that – that creature possess you!” He ran over to her and grabbed her hand to pull her up. 

“I didn’t – it didn’t look like a demon,” she stammered. “I thought… f-fuck.” She ran a hand through her hair, and Fenris realized with a pang that she was shaking, but it wasn’t enough to soften his anger. 

He gripped her arm. “How could you let a demon trick you?” he demanded. “You know better than this, Hawke. I know you are stronger than this! How could you–”

“I thought it was you, all right?” she snapped. “I – fuck. It looked like you, Fenris. It even sounded like you – or… not exactly like you, but enough to… oh Maker’s fucking balls.” She patted her pinkened cheeks and shifted her weight uncomfortably, and Fenris was forcibly reminded of the fact that she was still naked. 

He swallowed hard and forced his eyes to remain on her face. His heart was pounding in his throat and his ears, and he refused to believe it was from anything other than fear. “You let this demon seduce you?” he said sharply. 

“I didn’t know it was a demon!” she yelled. “I told you, I thought it was you. It was saying all the right things, and I – fuck, I should have known better, but I…” She trailed off and nervously rubbed her throat, an old habit from when she used to wear the red scarf that she’d tied around his wrist, and Fenris’s gaze automatically fell to her hand.

Then his eyes tracked lower, to the budded nipples of her breasts. Then lower still, to her waist and her navel and the curls between her legs and lower still, down to the telltale sheen of moisture between her thighs… 

She was wet. She was wet and ready, and a wave of heat tore through his body. Ashamed of himself, he turned away from her and rubbed his mouth. “Why was a demon even here?” he said in a strained voice. “Is someone trying to trap you?”

“That’s possible,” Hawke said.

She didn’t sound tense anymore; in fact, her voice sounded like it usually did: warm and relaxed and curled with laughter. Fenris glanced at her in surprise, then frowned; she looked completely at ease, despite the fact that she was still nude. 

He narrowed his eyes. “Are you not alarmed by this? If someone tried to trap you, there could be more demons in your house.”

“There could be,” she agreed, and she took a step toward him. “We should track them down. Should we start in my bedroom?”

He stumbled away from her. “Wh-what?” he stammered.

She took another slinky step toward him. “My bedroom. Come on upstairs with me.” She reached out and gently tugged his collar. 

It was the sort of playful tug that she’d give when she made him laugh about some stupid thing or another during their daily travels, and a pang of longing swelled in his throat. He backed away from her. “You’re not Hawke,” he rasped.

Her eyes widened. “What do you mean? Of course I am. Look at me.” She ran her palm along the length of her body, and Fenris’s eyes unwittingly followed the path of her hand as it skimmed over the dusky peak of her breast and the golden planes of her belly. 

He forced his eyes back to her face. “You’re a demon,” he accused.

Her face twisted with hurt before becoming a smile again, and the play of emotions across her face was so convincing that Fenris faltered. “I’m not a demon, Fenris. I promise,” she said. “Look at me. Don’t I look the same to you? Don’t I smell the same?”

Sandalwood and sleepy skin: she did smell the same. Another wash of longing and regret swelled in his chest, and he shook his head, but Hawke stepped closer still. 

“It’s me, Fenris,” she murmured. “It’s just me.” She ran her palm down his chest.

That clinched it. This had to be a demon. The real Hawke wouldn’t touch him in such an intimate way, not after what had happened between them. 

He shoved her – it – away. “Demon,” he spat.

It opened its mouth. “Fenris!” Hawke shouted – but the shout was coming from behind, not from the creature standing in front of him. 

He whipped around in alarm. Hawke was standing in the doorway to the study, fully clothed and scared-looking. 

Hawke. A rush of relief rendered him dizzy for a moment, but he couldn’t be distracted. 

He whipped around to face the demon again, but it was gone. He curled his lip in disgust, then turned to Hawke, who was hurrying toward him. 

“I thought I heard you in here,” she panted. “Come on, we need to get out of here.”  

“Out of where?” he demanded. “Out of your mansion?”

She shot him a funny look. “We’re not in my mansion. We’re in the Fade.”

He gaped at her. “What?”

“We’re asleep, obviously,” she said. “I don’t really know how we’re here together, but I’m not going to complain about being stuck in a nightmare with the most handsome man in Thedas.” She gave him a cheesy grin.

He rubbed his forehead in frustration. “How… how is this possible?”

Her grin became a grimace. “Well, it, um. It probably has something to do with the, um, Veil being thin…”

He stared at her with growing anger. “I told you,” he snapped. “Did I not tell you something terrible would happen?”

“Nothing terrible has happened yet!” she said defensively. “And if we get out of here quickly, nothing terrible will. Now come on, let’s get moving.” She trotted out of the study, and Fenris took a deep breath to calm himself. Demons were attracted to strong emotions, so he needed to be as neutral as possible so he wouldn’t attract any more. 

He made his way to the door and stepped into Aveline’s office, but Hawke wasn’t there. He frowned and turned around, then began making his way through the city guardsmen’s barracks, but Hawke wasn’t in any of the rooms here. How had she gotten away from him so fast?

“Hawke?” he called. He listened for her response, but he couldn’t hear anything; it was as though all sound was muted here, or like it was echoing through a fog or a piece of heavy velvet, and Fenris listened carefully as he made his way toward the Viscount’s office. 

Finally, he heard something: the strains of music and laughter and talking. The Hanged Man, he thought in exasperation. Of course that was where she’d gone. He should have looked there first. 

He pushed his way through the tavern doors, and a blast of music and noise greeted him, along with a familiar sight: Hawke was dancing on one of the tables while the rest of the crowd cheered her on. 

She looked up when Fenris came in, and her face lit into a beautiful smile. “Fenris!” she shouted, and she jumped off of the table and ran toward him. “There you are! I’ve been waiting for you!”

He backed away from her. “Stop,” he barked. 

She stopped in her tracks, and her face fell. “What’s wrong?”

“How do I know you’re not a demon?” he said. 

Her eyebrows jumped up. “Why would you think I was a demon?”

“Because I was attacked by a demon that was wearing your face,” he hissed. “Before, in your study.”

Her expression softened. “You were attacked by a demon that looked like me?”

He stared at her. Her expression was sad and sympathetic and wistful all at once, and only now was he realizing the depth of what he’d just admitted by telling her that his demons looked like her. 

He shoved his fingers through his hair, and Hawke held up her hands. “Okay,” she said soothingly. “Okay. This is fine. We’re going to get out of here. But Fenris, we have to be careful, because this entire tavern is full of demons.”

He lowered his hands. “What are you talking about?”

“The patrons,” she said in a low voice. “They’re all demons. This isn’t the real Hanged Man, you know.”

“I know that,” he snapped. “But I thought…” He trailed off. To be honest, he hadn’t really had a chance to think about it, but now that Hawke had pointed it out, the patrons were all paying him and Hawke a little too much attention for his liking. Worse yet, when he made eye contact with them, he realized that their eyes were black: a flat, empty black. 

A ripple of revulsion ran down his arms, and Hawke lowered her voice even further. “It’s all right. We’ll just, um, start walking in a very relaxed manner until we get out of here, and we can figure out what to do next.”

He nodded stiffly, then followed Hawke as she started to ease her way through the crowd of demons. They headed toward the stairs that led to the inn part of the Hanged Man, but when the reached the top of the stairs, it was to find themselves in the main area once more.

Fenris scowled, and Hawke let out a little laugh. “Ah, fantastic. A tavern that never ends. Varric would be thrilled if he were here.”

“At least one of us is fortunate enough to be spared from this torment,” he said snarkily.

Hawke grimaced. “Well, for lack of a better plan, let’s keep going.”

“Why don’t we simply leave?” Fenris demanded. “The door is right…” He trailed off. In the place where the door should be, he instead saw the stairs to the inn area. 

He turned around to find the door, to no avail; it was still the stairs to the inn. “Venhedis fasta vass,” he muttered. 

Hawke laughed again. “Foreign swearing, my favourite. Are you sure you’re not a demon trying to seduce me?”

“Not the time, Hawke,” he bit off. “Come on.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the stairs.

They made their way up the stairs and into the main room again and back toward the stairs, and Fenris’s frustration continued to rise. But as he dragged Hawke through main room of the tavern for the third time, he started noticing something alarming: the demons were starting to trail after them, and they were clamouring especially closely to Hawke. 

He frowned at her. “What are you thinking about?” he asked.

She looked up at him. “What, er, what do you mean?”

He paused and studied her face suspiciously; her cheeks were pink and her eyes were bright. Whatever she was thinking about was making the demons particularly interested in her.

He scowled at the demons, then stepped slightly closer to her. “They are drawn to you. Whatever you’re thinking about, you need to stop.”

She laughed again, and this time she sounded distinctly nervous. “That’s a little bit difficult when you’re holding my hand.”

He looked down; he was indeed holding her hand. 

His heart thumped, and he released her. “You’re thinking of me?” he said faintly.

Her cheeks pinkened even further. “It’s nothing bad, I swear,” she said hurriedly. “It’s… it’s nothing you don’t already know.”

She wants me, he thought. That’s why they’re following her. That’s what is tormenting her.

He swallowed hard, then shot a glare at the spirits. “Come on, Hawke,” he said. “We need to find a way out of here.” He ushered her in front of him to keep the spirits away from her back, and they moved toward the stairs again, but his own thoughts wouldn’t stop hounding him now. 

I want her, too, he thought as they ran up the stairs. That was why his demons looked like her. That was why he was tortured by the thought of her naked body, and why they were stuck in this nightmare together.

A flare of longing and hopeless regret bloomed low in his belly. Then Hawke suddenly stopped, forcing Fenris to bump into her. 

She stumbled, and he grabbed her arm to balance her. “Be careful,” he warned.

“Um, Fenris,” she said.

“What?” he said testily. Then he followed her gaze, which was behind him. 

He recoiled. The demons were clamouring thickly behind him, and their eyes were horrible soulless pits of black. 

“What are you thinking?” Hawke said in a hushed voice. “They’re pretty fucking interested in whatever it is that you’re thinking about.”

I’m thinking of you, he thought. I can think of little else, and it is torture.

He tore his gaze away from the crowd of demons and looked down at Hawke. “I’m…” He trailed off as he took in her face. Her lips and cheeks were flushed, and her chest was rising and falling as she breathed – heavy breathing like when he was pushing her legs apart and feeling her sleek and tight around his fingers. Heavy breathing like when he was trailing his tongue over her nipple and pressing himself into the cradle of her hips. Her lips were parted like when she was demanding his kiss, like when she was pulling his hips toward her and brushing her nose against his thigh before–

She suddenly pinched his arm.

He flinched, then glared at her and rubbed his arm. “What was that for?”

“You looked like you were about to kiss me,” she said breathlessly. 

He scowled at her plump raspberry lips. “I was not,” he muttered.

She smiled slowly at him, but her words were serious. “They’re torturing us,” she said. “Using our thoughts against us. We can’t let them win. I don’t know about you, but I’d like to enjoy my dirty thoughts in peace instead of having them exploited by a bunch of demons.”

Dirty thoughts. A twist of heat flared low in his belly, accompanied by a perverse wish to know exactly what kinds of dirty thoughts Hawke was having. Was she thinking about the taste of his skin? The scent at the back of his ear? Because that’s what he was thinking about now: the sandalwood scent just behind her ear and at the side of her throat, that spot on her throat that would make her mewl like a cat in heat when he nipped it with his teeth –

“Fenris!” she said loudly.

“All right!” he blurted. “You’re right, you’re right. We need to move.” He grabbed her hand and hauled her toward the stairs. 

They kept moving in silence, shoving their way past the thronging demons and moving through the endless space of the Hanged Man toward the stairs that led to nowhere, and Fenris’s frustration continued to grow — not with the unchanging landscape of the Fade, but with Hawke. At some point while they were walking, she had laced her fingers with his, and her thumb was sliding along the edge of his thumb in a hypnotic rhythm that shouldn’t have been in any way arousing, but somehow still it was. 

“Will you stop?” he demanded.

“Stop what?” she said.

He clenched his jaw. Why did her voice have to sound like that – all soft and breathless like she was coming down from a climax? 

Hawke in the midst of climax, her neck arching and the blissful sounds she made… His cock pulsed at the thought. He hunched his shoulders defensively and shot the demons a venomous look. “Stop… rubbing my thumb,” he muttered to Hawke. “It’s distracting.” 

“Fine, sorry,” she said. She started to release his hand, but Fenris tightened his grip. 

“Don’t let go,” he said. 

Her eyebrows rose. “So I can’t rub your thumb, but I have to keep holding your hand?”

“You can hold my hand without rubbing my thumb,” he gritted.

“Why do I have to hold your hand at all?” she said.

“I am afraid to lose you in this crowd,” he said. “We should stay in contact.”

She let out a little laugh. “Hold your hand, but on your terms. Got it.”

Her tone was unusually brittle, and Fenris frowned at her. “What is your problem?”

“Nothing,” she said. “There’s no problem.”

He scowled. “Speak your mind, Hawke.”

She let out another distinctly mirthless little laugh. “Trust me, you don’t want to hear it.”

“As though that has ever stopped you before,” he retorted.

She stopped and shot him a hurt look, and a pang of guilt penetrated his irritation and his lust. But before he could apologize, she spoke in a hard voice. “Fine. I just… I want you, all right? I think about you all the time, about… about fucking you and lying in bed with you, and I – it’s just unfair, that’s all.”

His heart twisted, even while the perverse heat in his blood simmered higher at the thought of being twisted together in her bed. “What’s unfair?” he asked faintly.

“This!” she said. She squeezed his fingers – fingers which were still laced with hers. “Holding your hand but not being allowed to stroke it. Standing next to you and smelling you and not being able to… to fucking touch you.” She broke off and looked away from him, and he studied her tense jaw with a painfully pounding heart.

“I’m…” He paused; there was a lump in his throat. He swallowed hard before speaking again. “Hawke, I am… I’m sorry.”

She sighed and glanced at him. “I’m not blaming you, all right?” she said in a softer tone. “I just – I wish things were different.”

Another pang of regret jabbed its way through his lust. “So do I.”

She gazed up at him wordlessly, and whatever she saw in his face was enough to make her expression melt into <em>that</em> look – the look of wistfulness and hope that indicated more clearly than any possible words that she was in love with him. 

His entire chest felt like it was throbbing. He forced himself to take a breath in an effort to quell the pain. Then Hawke took a step closer to him. “Fenris, do you think…”

She was so close now – close enough that their chests were almost touching. Close enough that he could count her every eyelash. Close enough to kiss… 

He ought to move away, but he couldn’t seem to move his feet. He swallowed hard. “What?” he croaked.

She took a deep breath. “This is just a dream, right? How bad would it be if we…” She trailed off and nervously licked her lips, and he hungrily eyed the enticing sheen that her tongue left on the pillows of her lips.

“We… we can’t, right?” she asked. “Having sex would definitely be a bad thing to do with a bunch of demons hanging around.” She flicked a glance at the demons, which were still crowded around them like a thick fog.

He ignored the demons; he was too preoccupied by Hawke’s plump lips and her sweet woodsy scent and the tempting, tantalizing, torturous thought of ravishing her in the Fade. He stared at her lips and remembered the feel of them pressed to his and tried to think of something to say.

“We can’t,” he finally said, with great difficulty. “Not even if we… if we want to.”

She nodded and dropped her gaze to their hands, which were still twined together. For a long, loaded moment, they simply stood there hand-in-hand.

Her thumb was caressing his thumb again, but he didn’t have the heart to tell her to stop. He gazed at her face, at the dark curves of her eyelashes and the slight parting of her lips, and with every slow stroke of her thumb, the very air between them seemed to thicken. He stared at her subtly parted lips and he felt the careful caress of her thumb tracing over his own, and he wished that things were different. 

She met his gaze once more. “Do you want to?” she said. 

His breath stalled in his lungs. Her voice was soft and velvety like it would be if she was talking softly into his ear, and the answer to her question was so clear that he couldn’t believe she was asking. 

Of course I want to, he thought. There is nothing I want more than you. He couldn’t say that, though, because he couldn’t give her everything she wanted — everything she deserved. It was exactly like Hawke had said: it was unfair and he wished that things were different, but he was incapable of giving her any more.

He pressed his lips together to stop the words from leaving. If he told her how he really felt, it would only hurt her more than he had already done.

But his body wasn’t listening to his mind. Without his permission, without his conscious say-so, his free hand was rising up toward her face. 

He brushed his knuckles over her cheek, and her eyes fluttered shut. She tilted her head to the side, and Fenris skimmed his knuckles slowly along the side of her throat. 

His thumb smoothed over the edge of her collarbone, and her lips parted in a silent plea. He stared at her lips, her infinitely tempting lips – those perfect plump raspberry-red lips that he’d so enjoyed kissing and nipping and sliding the tip of his cock between… 

He inhaled shakily. His pulse was rising again, beating steadily in his throat and chest and down between his legs, and his hand was rising once more to brush his thumb over the precious plumpness of her lower lip. 

Her breath hitched, and the tiny sound of her pleasure nearly made him dizzy. “Fenris…” she breathed. 

He didn’t reply. He didn’t dare. If he spoke, he would break the stillness of this moment alone with her. 

And they were alone, he realized vaguely. The demons were gone, and he and Hawke were in her bedroom in Hightown. 

Her bedroom: the place where he and Hawke had spent that one perfect, terrible, torrid night together. The place that Fenris thought about every single night as he lay on his stark mattress in his dank lowtown mansion. The place where he’d savoured the taste of her skin and the taste of her pussy and the exquisite feeling of filling her up until they were both crying out their pleasure to the canopy of her bed… 

Her voice interrupted his heated reverie. “What if we did?” she asked. “Would it really be that bad?”

“What do you mean?” Fenris said distractedly. Her chest was rising and falling more rapidly now, and the neckline of her shirt was low and fitted, and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the enticing valley between her breasts.

“Well, it’s – it’s a dream, right?” she panted. “If we… if we did, it wouldn’t be real. It’s… it’s just a dream.”

Her tone was pleading, and her spine was arching to draw his attention to her breasts, and fasta vass, he wanted to refresh his memory of what her nipples tasted like. 

He stroked her collarbone again. She let out a little moan, and when Fenris slid his fingers down to stroke the gentle swell of her breast at the border of her neckline, she mewled – that perfect, sweet, strained little mewl of desire that made his cock absolutely steely with want. 

He swallowed hard, then stepped closer to her. “Perhaps you’re right,” he murmured. “Perhaps we could… be together in this dream.”

Her eyes widened with hope. “Really?” 

He dipped his finger into her neckline and stroked the peak of her nipple, and she mewled again and arched her spine. He slid his hand around her nape, then brushed his lips over her ear.

“Or perhaps you’re a demon,” he whispered. 

She drew away from him, and a slow smile stretched across her lips. When she met his gaze, her eyes were a soulless, empty black. 

Fenris sat bolt upright with a gasp. It was pitch dark in the tent, and his cock was hard and throbbing, but his skin was awash with a layer of cold sweat. 

I’m awak, he thought. I’m awake. It was a dream. The knowledge of his waking state should have been a relief, but it wasn’t enough to comfort him. 

He scrambled out of his bedroll and shoved his way out of the tent, and Varric looked up in surprise. “Fenris!” he exclaimed. “You okay?”

Fenris ignored him and lifted the flap to Hawke and Merrill’s tent. “Hawke!” he barked. 

Merrill yelped and sat upright, but Hawke only moaned and shifted. Panicked now, Fenris crawled into the tent. 

“Fenris!” Merrill squeaked. “What in the Void are you doing?”

He ignored her and grabbed Hawke’s shoulder. “Hawke,” he snapped. “Hawke, wake up!”

She flinched and gasped, then finally opened her eyes. “Fenris?” she said. “What’s… fuck, what’s the matter? Why are you glowing? Did something happen?” 

He glanced at his arms briefly; his lyrium marks were indeed lit, but that didn’t matter. “Hawke, look at me,” he said. 

She was gazing worriedly at the tent flap. “Is something going on out there? Where’s Varric–”

He clasped her face in his hands. “Look at me!” he shouted. 

Her wide-eyed gaze darted up to his face, and he stared hard at her. Her pupils were huge in the darkness, but the light of his lyrium marks revealed that her irises were their usual warm gold.

She was fine. She wasn’t possessed, and she wasn’t a demon. It had all been a dream.

He exhaled heavily, and Hawke gave him a nervous smile. “Is this your idea of a booty call? If it is, your technique needs a little work.”

Fenris gulped in a breath of air. “Vishante kaffas,” he said shakily.

She smiled more widely. “Foreign swearing? You really are trying to seduce me.”

Merrill tutted. “I’m going to stay in Fenris’s tent. Goodnight, Hawke,” she said, with a pointed look at Fenris, and she crawled out of the tent. 

Hawke chuckled. “If your hope was to get her out, then congratulations. You succeeded.” 

He stared at her in silence. That thing she’d said, about the foreign swearing and the seduction… it was like an echo of what she’d said in the Fade.

No, he reminded himself. That hadn’t been her. That was the demons who were masquerading as her to torment him.

His gut was writhing. He gulped in another breath of air to try and quell it. “Are you… do you feel well?” he croaked.

Her smile faded. “Yes, I’m fine,” she said. “What’s wrong?” She reached up and pressed his hand to her cheek, and he realized belatedly that he was still clasping her face.

He exhaled slowly to calm himself, then released her. “Nothing,” he said. “It… it was nothing.”

“It clearly wasn’t nothing if you came bursting in here in the middle of the night,” she said. She tapped his knee. “You can talk to me, you know.”

Her voice was soft and warm, and so was her gaze. They were together in the intimacy of this tiny tent, and she was stretched out in her bedroll while he was kneeling over her. Her loose shirt was slipping down to show off her bare shoulder, and… and it was so close to being exactly what he wanted that it hurt. 

He dropped her gaze. “I would rather not,” he mumbled, and he shuffled away from her to sit on Merrill’s bedroll. “Go back to sleep.”

“All right,” she said slowly. She shuffled back into her bedroll and lay down on her side facing him. She was silent for a moment, and Fenris kept his eyes on his knees; he could feel her staring at him, and he didn’t dare to meet her eyes for fear of what he’d see — or fear of what she’d see in his face, were he to lift it.

When she finally spoke, her voice was soft. “Are you going to get some sleep?”

He shook his head. “I’ll keep watch,” he said. What he didn’t tell her is that he would wake her again if he suspected even a hint of a nightmare touching her mind.

“Let me get this straight,” she said. “Something worried you enough to make you come bursting in here in the middle of the night, but not enough that you want to talk about it. But enough that you’re… staying in this tent and keeping watch while I sleep.” 

“I suppose those are the circumstances,” he muttered to his knees. 

Hawke was silent for a moment longer. “If you say so,” she finally said. “But you should be warned that I get grabby in my sleep sometimes. If I start fondling you, I can’t be blamed.”

He scoffed and glanced at her; through the darkness of the tent, he could still see her cheeky smile. 

“That is a poor excuse for misbehaviour,” he drawled.

“It’s still an excuse,” she said brightly. “Consider yourself warned.”

He smirked, but he couldn’t keep looking at her; she was too beautiful, and it was… kaffas, it was as Hawke had said: it was unfair. Everything was unfair, and he wished that it wasn’t this way, but it was.

He looked back down at his knees. Hawke said nothing more, and Fenris assumed she must have fallen back asleep. He eventually settled into a more comfortable cross-legged position on Merrill’s bedroll, then sighed softly and tilted his head back. Venhedis, he was exhausted. This was the last time he was coming camping on the fucking Wounded Coast. And Hawke had better not decide to come out here on another overnight trip, either. If she did, he would most definitely be having words with her. 

The rest of the night crawled by painfully slowly. Fenris forced himself to stay awake, but his vigil turned out to be unnecessary; Hawke slept peacefully for the remainder of the night, and when she woke up the next morning, she was so chipper that it made him feel even more fatigued. 

She hummed to herself as she packed up their camping gear, and she flirted mercilessly with him and Varric and Merrill while they ate their breakfast, and Fenris could barely muster the energy to do more than murmur an acknowledgement of her playful advances. By the time they were plodding along the path that would take them back to Kirkwall, he’d stopped even trying to respond to the others’ lighthearted banter.

When they were halfway back to Kirkwall, Hawke sidled up to him. “Thank you for your company last night, by the way.”

“Don’t mention it,” he mumbled.

“No, really,” she said. “I think it helped. Before you came bursting in like a bull in a china shop, I was having the most unnerving dream.”

He looked at her in alarm as she kept on talking. “It was about you, actually. You were really acting like yourself in the dream. More than dream people usually do, I mean. You were mad at me because there were all these demons, and we were at–”

“The Hanged Man,” he blurted. 

Her eyes widened. “Yes,” she said. “Yes, exactly.” She gave him an odd look, and Fenris gaped at her with a suddenly pounding heart. Had they been… was it possible that they’d actually been in the same dream? 

She covered her mouth with one hand. “Oh no,” she said, and she started laughing. “Oh, no. Oh, Fenris.” She laughed some more, and he noted with dismay that her cheeks were turning pink. 

“What?” he said defensively. “What are you laughing at?”

“Nothing, nothing!” she said. “I just, um… I mean, if we were having the same dream, then…” She trailed off. Her eyes were huge and beautiful and loaded with unspoken words, and Fenris suddenly couldn’t breathe. 

If their dreams had been the same, then… then she’d been naked on her knees while a demon with his form tried to seduce her. She’d stood in front of him in the Fade and pinched him to stop him from falling into temptation like the demons wanted, even with all this longing and lust in her blazing amber eyes. But —  but had that been her, or a very clever demon? How much of the dream had they truly shared, if they’d both spent so much of the time being tortured by demons wearing each other’s skin?

He stared stupidly at her. Her long dark hair was more tousled than usual from sleeping in a tent, reminding him forcibly of the way she looked right after he finished pleasuring her. Her cheeks were turning pink, and her eyes were bright and intense, and in this terrible, breathless, desire-soaked moment, Fenris wished he was the sort of man who could answer the unspoken plea in her parted lips and kiss her. He wished that he was the sort of man who could have ceded to his base desires and availed himself of her naked and willing body while they were both cloaked by the immunity of the Fade. 

He wished for Hawke with every heated drop of blood in his body and every beat of his erratically pounding heart. But Hawke deserved more than a lusty kiss or a meaningless fuck in the Fade. She deserved everything, and no matter how badly he might wish for her, he was incapable of giving her what she deserved. 

His throat felt thick. With effort, he dropped her gaze. “Hawke, I—” 

She interrupted him. “Don’t worry about it. Consider it forgotten.”

He looked at her in surprise. “Forgotten? What… what do you mean?”

She smiled and shrugged. “I mean, don’t worry about it. I know you don’t, um, want to talk about… this.” She gestured awkwardly between them. “So don’t worry about it. It’s like it didn’t happen, all right?”

Her voice and her smile were so determinedly cheerful that they couldn't possibly be genuine. He swallowed painfully. “All right,” he said.

She punched his arm in a friendly manner, then bounced away to join Merrill and Varric, and Fenris followed them with a heavy heart. He listened to Hawke’s lovely barking laugh and watched as she linked her arm with Merrill and hugged Varric around the neck, and he wished that things were different. 

He wished that his mind wasn’t a bleached canvas written over with pain and hate. He wished that he could savour the sight of Hawke’s bare body as herself and not as a twisted image of his own crude desires. Fenris gazed wistfully at the lively sway of Hawke’s slender hips, and he wished.

[onf-headcanons]

YEAR END SPECIAL

(Sharing my notes that I will always refer when I write)

A/n: sorry this is not headcanon, it more like my own notes while trying to making my headcanons to be as close to their personalities shown as possible. Anyways I am open for discussion due to i am a baby fuse. And sorry if the text looks like I wrote it when I am drunk

HYOJIN

• Has temper outburst but does not mean he is a violence person. I mean this boy defo got a temper if and unless you triggered him. His temper also act as a drive and motivation for him to strive. So its not necessary a bad trait.

• Also I am not sugarcoating. I personally do think depend on situation it would be bad. But he is doing a good job controlling until now

• I think he is a more preserved person when comes to expressing affection through actions, but when it comes to verbal expressing, he is capable when he is comfortable

• Idk I think he is the type that in the inside, he differentiates types of love and relationship very well.

• I would prefer that his emotion outflow is through his actions and speech. He is a straightforward type.

• Also being perfectionist (due to his virgo moon) does not make him a super nitpicker. To emphasise this for his nagging maybe not the best way. Values effort alot, most likely because he benefited from it (cannot sing high note but he practised until he could), it became his philosophy and it immersed in the team as well. Quantity + Quality of Practise = Aiming for the Best (aka work hard)

• Possessive yes but not aggressive possessive. More like once he is used to something he will attach to it.

• Dom, yes. But not the forceful type. Also depend on horoscopes, his trait does suggest he will be dominant but he is not the "I am a guy so you listen to me" type

• Defo has his own demons or should I say rebellious against norms (his tattoos are the perfect hint imo)

CHANGYOON

• Stuttering for words does not mean he is stupid

• Also him being clumsy does not mean he is stupid too

• INFP actually is more than just being introverted and timid to interact, trust me.

• The moment he says he is an INFP and then I saw video of him showing ONF merch designs. I go aha that makes sense

• Diff pal have different way to express themselves. And diff ppl have diff best way to express themselves

• I would say its a bit of tsundere factor mixed cos like how he and Hyojin greets each other is not like hey how are you doing today, they just straight up asking each other have you eaten?

• He would choose his words wisely, but then buffering because his brain could not catch up with the nuance he wanted to express with

• Not the cold sharp tongue, he just state facts. He wanted to be precise as possible

• Not the messy clumsy type imo. I guess he will be trying to keep everything on track and under control (aka not to lose his cool) but end up getting swipe away but the mood.

SEUNGJOON

• Love to tease/prank does not make him a bully

• Not gonna glorify the term of he bully because he love you. No, he sure has his own proper way to express love and affection

• Refer to how he clings to Yuto who is his literally favourite child

• Having the devilish look does not mean he is a yandere in real life. Its just his face. But using it as a hint of his facial/body language is good idea.

• Make use of the gap of him being fond and him being serious to show its more than just surface level

• But then that devilish look like he is planning a evil plan trope should not be overused

• Bit be a tad of needy when it comes to affection and praises. Not really that he is narcissistic, because I did find he will complement the other party back. So I think he values give and take a lot

• Dom? Might be but I think is a softie warm boi inside

• Along with Hyojin, the hidden brain of the team. (Even though chaotic, these two actually are responsible of pulling the team into directions and also just watch their mafia game then you will know)

• OK even though I am more of a Hyojin bias, but I feel Seungjoon is the ace. But, I do feel he prefer to let others shine

• The type where if he admires someone he goes all in (example: Hui from PTG)

• Same as Jaeyoung, personality makes him a nice team player. Link to above to the the give and take matter. Another factor because he is also sensitive, but he can let rational to hold him back from going into the abyss of emotion pool.

JAEYOUNG

• Definitely not a himbo.

• His image/impression will let ppl very easily to categorise him without delving deeper so have to be careful.

• Sorry I will "cancel " any one that thinks he is a himbo

• Staying at overseas before does give him some insights and I think it shapes his way of interacting with people as well

• Even if he fits the big guy but also being the heart trope, it is unwise to just chain tropes dryly in him

• Its complicated imo? Like we just categorise him as the buff princess guy (gorilla and princess) just because he has the sensitive personality and coincidentally he is built than others. Outlook does not define all of him

• Reaction is not his everything. That is a hint of him actually is an expressive person. You can refer to the vlive where he talks about donating blood

• Again diff ppl have diff type of way to express themselves.

• A guy with manners yes but over perfectly gentleman who only do the giving is a no

• Writing him as a "receiving " side of all tantrums just made him into a mere sandbag. Its a no.

• This guy, is sensitive I can tell u

• He is a soft big sensitive guy

• Dom? Nah, soft dom. I don't think he is aware of it though. I think shyness will overpower

MINKYUN

• being an airhead does not mean he is stupid

• If he is he won't be writing songs and even work with Monotree.

• I am not saying he has mental issues like had weak Iq or something I am just saying diff ppl diff character diff way to react towards happenings

• And diff ppl view diff priorities as well

• I think he does not shy off expressing his love and affection towards people he likes and admires

• Like if he is really stupid, he won't ace on tricking his members during Ondaejeon sessions. Lol I am still traumatised that he is the one who slept at Hyojin's bed and poor Seungjoon gotten mistaken for being the culprit

•

YUTO

• Being quiet does not mean he is isolated. Look he can tease Seungjoon (either alone or with Hyojin joined as his comrade, refer to the vlive where prior RTK final Seungjoon asking Yuto about first impression and the recent vlive where Yuto and Hyojin just disturbs Seungjoon by playing the broadcast in front of Seungjoon), he can “aegyo” towards Jaeyoung by playfully bumping his chair towards the older person the BTS of NEW WORLD/RTK finals, there is a lot of hints that he is very comfortable with his hyungs and they dote him like their own little brother.

• I MEAN HAVE EVEN SEEN HOW ACTIVE HE IS THESE DAYS?????

• I AM SORRY TO THINK YOU ARE THE NORMAL ONE COMPARED TO YOUR HYUNGS BASED ON RTK

• But then I do think there is a lot he need to catch up on

• Maybe it's just recently he let himself go and allowed himself to be comfortable. ( kinda like Minghao)

• Once comfortable he starts to express himself and with his recent activeness, he found out what to define himself easier

• So again being quiet does not mean don't have a character. It might surprise you that this type of people sometimes come out as the type that values communication the most. Link to above, should he does not have that, I don't think his hyungs will just listen blankly. He sure has something his hyungs trust and willing to listen him to.

• Has his fair share of being observant. If not he won't be coaching/giving heads up to his hyungs during rtk stage dance practices

• Still have room for growth even though already do well.

• I also think he has a perfect sense of direction too.

ONF

• If they don't have a common goal or insight, I don't think they can even come to together. They trust each other and acknowledge each other. (Honestly they are very very different ppl)

• They truly live up to Changyoon's tattoo, work hard play hard.

[eyeslikefoxglove]

Episode 5 - WangXian flirts & The fucking lake does fucking what?

Welcome to episode 5 commentary. I should very much be packing my flat but I am a fucking mess so... also, my cat seems intent on blocking my hands from writing.

LWJ don’t give a fuck about “strange noises” lol.

Hhhhggghhhhhhh is the Library scenes. Wangxian/WuJi is playing and I’m living (we are barely three minutes in, brace yourselves).

Anyone who can do Chinese calligraphy and with a brush has my forever admiration. Holy shit it looks like the most nerve wracking time, I write with a quill (fountain pen? Ink pen? Idk google translate says all three fit) and I already favour thin tips so my handwriting is crisp and legible, I can’t imagine writing with something that’s flexible with pressure.

Btw, my fan girl ass got herself a black bamboo quill as a graduation/Christmas present because I could not pass the opportunity of having my very own ChenQing in a manner of speaking. Sorry, back to the commentary.

Bitch don’t scream in the library.

He doesn’t hate you, he wants to kiss you stupid but *vaguely gestures at the fact that LWJ is a whole ass repressed gay teen mess* that.

(Again, what the fuck, calligraphy brushes lol nope)

“May I have the honour of getting a glimpse of you?” Hooooooly shit, so that was smoother than I expected.

IT’S BEST BOI WN!

I understand not bothering to translate things like “Shijie” because “senior martial sister” sounds hella weird. But doesn’t jie/Jiejie mean big sister? WN calling WQ sister or big sister is not weird.

Wait, not only is their love song playing, he’s also sneaking looks al LWJ so he can draw him accurately and grinning like a fool.

This charming idiot.

“Extremely boring” yeeeeees sassy LWJ come forth.

I honestly did not see him switch the books and I’ve replayed that bit time and time again.

“Don’t tell me you’ve never read a book like this.” WWX, darling gremlin, you’re talking about Lan “Whole Ass Repressed Gay Teen” WangJi.

But LWJ looks like he’s going to rip his throat out with his teeth.

WWX is so upset his gay porn got shredded (and this sounds dirtier than i meant it to)

Speaking of dirty, I know that that special book chapter exists, but I also know it’s uncomfortable for a bunch of people (myself included) so I won’t mention it past this point. But when I say anything about LWJ wanting to tackle WWX onto the nearest flat surface and do him, I mean in a very enthusiastically consensual way.

All this to say, LWJ’s crush just showed him a gay porn book and LWJ is a teenager, the self control this dude has is hilarious (bc I’m pretty sure if he’d kissed WWX right then and there Wi-Fi would be like: you mean we could’ve been doing this the whole time?).

I know that WWX is Oblivious(tm) but I swear Xiao Zhan plays him very much like a disaster (bi) trying to flirt with someone he actually has a crush on and he can’t? Because his usually suave bullshit doesn’t work? And he wants to see LWJ all riled up? I mean, he’s oblivious to LWJ’s monster crush on him, but I’m pretty sure he knows/suspects he’s into LWJ himself.

Ooooohhh LWJ is spitting mad. I love how Wang YiBo can make facial expressions without actually moving his face.

One Braincell Trio gossip sessions are the best. And I saw at least one translation of JC’s “nobody will save you” that was “nobody will bury your corpse” which I find fucking hilarious.

Ngl, I was mildly worried that they were going to try and use WWX as a red herring this early in the tv show when LXC asks LWJ who he’s seen creeping around the back of the mountain and he answers that he’s seen WWX, but LXC is co-captain of the ship (the other captain is Shijie, NHS is Second-in-Command) and he didn’t disappoint.

Uuuuughhhhhh it’s that bitch Su She. If you see random bouts of screaming just assume Su She is on screen and I don’t want to deal with his bs.

I can’t believe they changed Water Ghouls to Water Ghosts. Ghouls is cooler.

[We interrupt this broadcast to inform you that all that commentary above ^ is from a few days ago, so if the following looks like I’ve lost the thread in some places... I did lose it]

Yooooo JC’s stupid grin and his awkward attempts at talking to WQ give me life. I NEED FURTHER WQ&SHIJIE INTERACTIONS! THEY MUST BECOME FRIENDS.

What a cute gremlin my god.

You can see the moment LXC decides to be both the best wingman and a shit to his little brother.

WN IS HERE HI WN WE LOVE YOU.

LXC and all his baby chicks lol.

(I just checked on my cat, he’s drugged to the gills, so his inner eyelids are half closed and he’s doing the mlem, it’s hilarious)

WangXian: the fucking lake does fucking what?

I love WWX in detective mode.

THANK YOU. WWX’s alcohol thing is driving up the wall. One, bc he’s a damn kid in here, two bc he’s about to go night hunting, and three bc I’m pretty sure he’s 👌this close to forming a habit.

Ooohhh I hate this. I’m not scared of large bodies of water or anything, but the second you tell me something bigger than a trout may be roaming nearby I’m nope-ing right the fuck out.

He just saved your ass dude, don’t call him boring!

I swear LWJ almost had a Qi deviation when he told WWX to stay away from him, and the the gremlin just came suuuuuper close to him and bent down... to get his sword. You know, like a normal human being would do. Not.

Nooooope. Wait “aqua demon” that better not be Netflix’s translation of Waterborne Abyss.

Su She’s whole damage is bc he thinks LWJ looks down on him just for wanting to be like him. But LWJ clearly said get tf on your swords and fly, not “send your sword into the lake like a dumbass” so Su She is a moron.

I know in an adaptation WWX ends up in the water when trying to save Su She, are we sure that he didn’t kick him off the sword? Bc he is That Bitch.

WN NO.

THE COMB.

LOQUATS! (Btw are they any good, how do they taste?)

That is all for this episode. Thank you for reading!

[docmanda]

5 and 7 or 8 for the fic asks? say something nice about yourself ^^

Ahahahahaaa oh it’s my old archenemy, Doctor Selflove!!!

5.Share one of your strengths.

Hm I am kinda just bumbling about with the fic writing thingie yet so actually saying something is my strength feels like making too much out of it? One commenter called my writing evocative and I think that is something I am kinda good at, putting pictures and emotions into my reader’s heads with words.

And when inspiration hits I can churn out words pretty fast which is good I think :-) 7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

...I know I am probably getting redundant with that one fic but it IS kinda my favorite so..have my favorite piece of “For The End Of My Broken Heart” once again. I just really like the way it makes me feel while reading, the weird vaguely disassociated sense of loss and horrors beyond recognition idk, it reads “right” and makes me feel the things I wanted it to make people feel if that makes any sense?

There are sirens afterwards and the frantic hustle of people in white trying to save the world while two ghosts cling to each other in excruciating fear, leaving deep red bruises on each other´s skin in their desperate hope for a miracle they both know is not going to happen. They know, deep down where their souls would be if they had one, where they carved a place reserved for a single being into their own flesh and core that it is too late, their God has left them behind, going where even they can´t follow. And yet they cling to that last bit of hope with stubbornness born of nothing but pure, raw desperation.

When finally, after an eternity of pain a white clad man comes out of the room that holds their whole world, his clothing still sticky with blood, the look of exhaustion and defeat in his eyes is enough to shatter even that last bit of hope.

And with the last tear that falls from their eyes time has finally run out. In all their lifes they have never known suffering like this...and for the crime of taking away the only one they ever, truly loved the world will suffer with them.

The doctor´s protest dies in his throat with an aborted wheeze as the one in black casually breaks his neck with an absentminded snap of long, skeletally thin fingers , a pair of burning golden eyes and a single black one fixated on the room in front of them, holding their only treasure in this world. Ancient power congeals around them like blood, ripping apart everything that stands in their way as they come for their God´s body, unheeding of the chaos and destruction they leave behind in their wake.

Their last bit of humanity lies dead in that white tiled room, still dripping with blood more precious then all the jewels in the world and they don´t care if their mourning leaves behind only ashes as the ground shakes apart and the ocean turns to blood, seething with ancient powers long forgotten by anybody but them.

And they all follow their King´s last call, those long forgotten nightmares and fairytales, clawing their way out of the ground dripping molten stone and rising from the abyss, devouring everything they can reach in their never ending hunger, vultures ripping apart a still breathing body as the Devastations burn themselves out with pain. Crimson Rain Sought Flower and Black Water Sinking Ships do not care as they cradle a slim, broken body to their chests, weeping as they cling to each other. As far as they are concerned, the world has already died with the sound of screeching tires and the sickening sound of bones being crushed into concrete. Now they´re just taking care of its carcass.

When Hua Cheng rolls his dice for the last time, they are the eye of the storm, leaving behind nothing but devastation.

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

...I do not like writing dialogue much and I don’t have anything special that I can would be proud of? I like the snarky bits and when our Devastations express their love for each other by insulting the shit out of each other. If I had to pick one it would be this scene from “Of Abductions and other peculiarities” cause it amuses me and it was fun to write :-) The whole scene is funny and it does contain dialogue so it counts :-)

Xie Lian is still in Hua Cheng´s lap - no surprise there, really- looking a little worse for wear around the edges but mostly in a dusty way, not an injured one. He must have bled a little at some point, Feng Xin can see the droplets on his robe, but Crimson Rain must have patched him up the same as Mu Qing did with him. The Devastation still has the faint taste of killing intent around him, his singular eye wide and fully black, his aura prickly and spiky, like a cat with it´s fur standing on end but he doesn't seem to be injured.

And Black Water...Black Water is laying in the soft grass, sprawled out like a starfish, moaning softly.

"..what the hell even was that thing?" Hua Cheng asks him after a while, as if he had just remembered that they still didn´t know what had actually appeared in that cave, still focusing on picking out stone splinters and questionable soft pieces out of Xie Lian´s hair and carefully making sure there weren´t anymore injuries then the few cuts and bruises you could see on his hands and face, despite Feng Xin taking the brunt of the collapsing ceiling for him.

"Don´t know. Don´t care." He Xuan burps lightly "It tasted like sea bass and anise. Very -old- sea bass." He provides helpfully, smacking his lips.

Hua Cheng pinches the bridge of his nose, obviously lost for words here for a moment. Feng Xin, weirdly, gets a flash of sympathy for the Devastation. If that was how Black Water was on a daily basis, Crimson Rain was a lot more patient then Feng Xin had ever given him credit for.

"...you don´t know and yet you -ate- it? And you better not be kissing any of us with that mouth."

Oh. So that was what had happened. Feng Xin very deliberately tries to not think about what that implies about He Xuan´s true form then, the non-human Water Demon skin he is rumored to have but that nobody who could tell the tale had ever seen. Black Water just shrugs, a feat laying flat on his back as he does.

"It was trying to hurt you...and everything is edible at least once if you try hard enough."

He can hear the grin in Black Water´s voice, clearly not concerned about his unconventional dinner choice in the slightest and Feng Xin was sure that, if Hua Cheng didn´t have a lap full of bruised and battered Dianxia right now, Black Water would have least gotten a kick for that.

"Sometimes A-Xuan, just sometimes I really don´t know why I even bother."

"Because you looooove me..." He Xuan´s voice is a happy singsong, followed by a giggle and him trying, unsuccessfully, to catch a bee that had been passing by. Maybe for dessert, Feng Xin thinks, head pounding mercilessly...but apparently, as creepy and deranged and plain old crazy as Black Water Sinking Ships usually appeared to be this behavior seemed to be off even for him. He can see Xie Lian and Crimson Rain exchange a look of pure concern before Hua Cheng rises, carefully helping Xie Lian to his feet.

"A-Xuan are you alright? How are you feeling?"

Xie Lian slowly walks over to the Devastation still happily humming to himself, closely followed by Crimson Rain who squats down next to He Xuan to gently grab his wrist and feel for his spiritual energy.

"Hm...how am I feeling? Full, honestly and kinda sparkly? Tired? All of the above. Maybe I ate some of your Butterflies too A-Cheng, what do they taste like?"

Hua Cheng ignores the question, instead gently picking him up, He Xuan instantly going limp in his arms like a ragdoll, golden eyes dull and sleepy. He´s buzzing to Feng Xin´s senses, feeling like the oncoming rush of waves heralding the storm, drenched in the scent of brine and an elemental kind of wetness, eliciting fresh waves of pain from his head and making him squint in the bright sunlight, everything slightly fuzzy around the edges.

[9noryn]

New answers!!

From questions asked in the ask-the-incuwives channel in the Seduce Me Discord Server!

From abil:  if your husbands had to stay in the abyssal plains after the events of the war, how would you feel? would you be okay with it?

Noryn would pack up and move with him lmao she's not attached to places, more so people so; of course there has to be a lot of talking and planning together, but she's pretty down to continue making things work from the plains side. She wouldn't have to worry about being found by Angels and get obliterated, big plus. She'd miss her sigil witch brother and her friends in the human world though; but she'll easily think about video calls and gaming and visits. The big make or break would be whether she can get hooked up with high speed internet in the abyssal plains

wait i just realized... the abyssal plains doesn't have internet yet

noryn's not gonna like this one bit; neither would matthew 

two gamers, in a dimension without games

((first order of business is to invent internet and get connected to human world, the first demon world hacker))

Bonus:

Midnight: Noryn starting up a tiktok channel for tiktoks in the Abyssal Plains that only the incubi and the wives see LOL

Midnight: no, she vlogs

Zio: hey demons its ya boi

More under the break!

From tkdigiboy: how would you react if one of the boy's ex-bf/gf or 'playmates'(sex for energy) came to visit or hang. would you let your husband do a one time fling for energy?

noryn's been friends with her exes, and their exes; so as long as things are chill, it's just like meeting anyone else from someone's social circle. it only gets weird if it's like... this person distracts matthew away from noryn a lot or otherwise gets in between her interactions with him

e_e they don't even have to be past lovers, anyone that does that will get on noryn's nerves and make her go on a jealous gifting spree, where in a fit of jealous frustration she buys a bunch of very thoughtful gifts for matthew to give to him later

regarding the one-time fling: emergency sure; but like, consent and all is one time and case specific

like if matthew is blowing up noryn's phone like "iM dY INNg OF SEX STarVaTION AND yOu'RE IN THE HUMAN WORLD" she'd be like ? ?? ? bE SAfe FIRST AND WE CAN TALK LATER

From Kantah: ooh what are the wives' hobbies? :0

Noryn hobbies: being an internet gremlin; tea brewing, drink mixing, bartending/barista; dabbling in potion making

From tkdigiboy: To noryn/zio: how well do you get along with simon and his wife?

pretty well!! though she thinks of simon and simone as mika's pets so whenever she visits mika she likes to try to befriend them and get matthew to play with him :>  simon's a lot less of a rascal when noryn can give him the attention he seeks

From Diva:  how long does it take Noryn to find out Divana’s favorite bubble tea since she cant magically know like usual [cause she’s a collective ton of different personalities]

Diva: Zio wait how long does it take for Noryn to figure out Divana's fav bubble tea after she god damn blue screens

Noryn: -sits there with window xp error noises going off in her brain-

Divana: I think this one died

Zio: poor baby; noryn would probably just blindfold herself and randomly mix ingredients and hope for the best. serving a chaos demon aint easy

Diva: Especially when Noryn Knows Alot of Things™️

From dari_baguls:  Idk if this is more for Zio or Noryn buuuut do you really have the cat stalkings Noryn wears in the game? I cried when I saw Noryn cause I also have the same stalkings and also (at the time) had short hair TvT just wanna know for research purposes

i do have them irl! Her outfit is based off of what i wore when the game was being made

She’d look like this in present day

Gotta refresh noryn’s design cause it’s very undergrad student vs her now working bartending professional :9

From Diva:  Oh no Noryn and Divana in the same room fucking around with potions

Zio: POTIONS POTIONS POTIONS in carrie's kitchen no less

Diva: Many things went wrong that day

Diva: M a n y

Zio:

Noryn: "can i come over to make sum poshuns" 

Carrie: "Of course,you dork"

Noryn: "Also Divana will help" 

Carrie:

Diva: 

Read at 3:45 pm

Zio: 

Noryn: "henlo? carrie u ther"

From tkdigiboy: Question to zio and kary: how do you 2 handle your husbands when their doing their usual routine towards eachother

Karygurl: Start making bets, make popcorn :D

Zio: when sam and matthew bicker; noryn stands aside and lets them get through their system if it's between them specifically; otherwise she's a participant in the bickering LOL they're a lot like rascally friends, and noryn is also a shit starter 

Zio: i headcanon that iri or twila like to occasionally stir the pot, like drop a small [controversial hot take] and watch the boys mcfreakin lose it

sam, matthew and noryn are all competitive casual gamers shit's going down there's no allegiances

From ☁bunny☁: jumpin in here: for all of the incuwives creators, especially zio n kary, how do you guys feel about people writing about ur ocs in their own stories? or drawing them? im writing my own interpretation of the story with my self insert and i love carrie and noryn dearly and would love to include them (and the other incuwives) but id only wanna do it if its cool with their creators first !

Karygurl: I mean please do!! I bookmark and save EVERYTHING that has even a tiny whiff of Carrie in it, I'm honored anyone would want to include her in anything ever

Zio: im flattered if your inspired to write in or draw my characters!! let me know if you want to collab too

Zio: do it do it; shout outs and cameos give me life

Karygurl: SAME Zio

Zio: plus if there's no story conflict, im down to adopt new dynamics/lore/etc from what people create

From Mari: What kind of things would you do to make your husband laugh?

To laugh? noryn would be an utter fool lmao and tell him an embarrassing story about herself (she's had a whopping 9 lives worth, there's no end to headass decisions and shenanigans when it comes to her); something like 

Noryn: "Babe have you seen our dog" 

Matthew, pouty but still hanging in there: "Huh? She's in the other room, right?" 

Noryn: "Now watch this. Bijo, cuddle attack!!" 

Distant pitpattering on the tile gets closer until Bijo, the apron wearing shibe, gets ready to jump with a soft woof

Bijo full-body slams into noryn

oh my god, noryn would do unintentional slapstick when trying to show matthew some new trick or skill

tkdigiboy to zio: pet peeve with matthew

probably him being a touch too open-minded and overly generous with his time to the point that he wears himself super super thin and tired. he's kind of that extreme of being too self-sacrificing? 

Noryn reminds him that he doesn't owe everyone he comes in contact with that kind of life-changing attention and focus, especially if those people take advantage of his kindness.

Noryn is very much "i have limited time and energy in this one body, I focus on saving the one person I can" whereas Matthew is the "I want to brighten everyone's day, and give them what I didn't have or give them something only I can provide"

While they have similar tastes and interests, their perspectives help the other grow into a healthier, better person.

[kuroshitsuji-scenarios]

I sent this like 2 hours earlier but idk if you counted this one?What if Sebastian was attracted to reader but she was hopelessly in love with another person who loved her back but couldn’t really be with her? Kind of like a “sense and sensibility” except when she finds out he’s betrothed to another and completely shatters her heart, Sebastian is there and uses his demonic seduction and makes her forget everything about the other dude? I really love your writing! I might’ve already sent this?

I got a little bit confused there so I improvised and I hope you enjoy it nevertheless!

Sebastian knew the taste of eternity, the bittersweet sensation at the tip of his tongue and the whisper at the back of his head telling him that nothing, none could ever experience as much as him. He enjoyed it a lot, just like the pride it was giving him with the mere knowledge of how many things his eyes could see which were going to forever be invisible for everyone else, no matter how long they prayed. It was his and his own, the personal, intimate act of savouring reality without any limits, eating it whole with an endless hunger and never stopping, not even for a second.

That is, until he had a fleeting opportunity to held you in his arms.

Your dress swirling in the dance as you moved reminded him of a flutter of butterfly’s wings, the colours playing with lights and shadows in the ballroom where only you seemed to be present. People around you were dull and boring compared to you, to your soul shining and alluring him strong enough it could wake him up from an eternal sleep. You were magnificent, mesmerizing, even in such a simple situation as talking to one of your friends and laughing at the joke you have just heard. It was a delightful melody for him and his ears, the one he suddenly longed to hear more and more, as if he didn’t knew how thirsty he was to drink the voice from your lips.

And then, the music paused, an orchestra receiving a wonderful applause before preparing for the next piece. It was the perfect time and opportunity to ask you to share this dance with him, to get to talk to you, ask for your name and feel your skin against his, but just when he was about to take the first step, there was a man by your side—the one you gave a loving kiss in the next second.

Sebastian’s heart collapsed like a dying star, shrinking inside only to blow with a burning fury which reflection soon showed in his demonic eyes for a mere second. Of course you were engaged, how could he not notice the ring on your finger before?

Slowly, he took a sip from his champagne glass, for the first time truly regretting not being able to feel the soothing relief it was giving mortals, and left the ballroom without a word, your laugh still echoing deep in his mind.

“What do you mean ‘we do not have it’“? Ciel spat through the teeth and the frown on his forehead only grew bigger as he was staring at his butler with the gaze full of utter despise. “I thought I told you to buy it last week.”

“My apologize, young master, but the blueberries you are asking for are not in our pantry. I used them to prepare the pudding few days ago, just as you ordered me to.”

“And now I order you to prepare me a blueberry cake. Sebastian, do not you see that I am currently sick and in need of literally any recompense of this awful state?”

“I hardly see how the blueberry cake will make you feel better, my lord.”

“You hardly saw me falling to the river when we were chasing that damn man, didn’t you?”

“Now, this is a false accusation,” Sebastian forced himself to keep his face unamused, even though the memory of the latest incident still managed to bring a smile upon his lips. It was not like his young lord was in any kind of danger, though, and a cup of cold water seemed to do good to his temper from time to time.

The conversation was suddenly interrupted by Mey Rin who knocked to the Ciel’s bedroom doors and after receiving an invitation explained that there was a guest waiting in the hall. Surprised by who could that be (there were not any guests sheduled for today, after all), Sebastian went downstairs only to notice you, standing in the hall alone and admiring the painting hanging on the wall. Your back was facing him, the dress you were wearing now didn’t remind him the one you had at the ball and—goodness, were those mud stains?

“My lady,” he started, drawing your attention and bringing a smile to your face. “What a surprise, I did not know you will be there today. What causes this unexpected visit?”

“I have heard that Ciel has gotten sick lately,” you explained. “So I have decided to pay him a visit and see how is he feeling.”

“This is so kind of you, my lady, but did not you take a carriage on your way there?” The butler carefully pointed at your dress and your gaze followed, resulting in you laughing at the inconvenience.

“Oh, no, I did not. It is such a pretty day, after all, it would be a shame to waste it.”

That was unexpected, those simple words making him feel attached to you even more than before, just like the stinging feeling of the ring on your finger more unbearable. You’ve chosen someone else, your heart belonged to another man and for the first time in his life, Sebastian left as if he was running out of time. Prehaps, if he met you sooner, he would be able to take his place and stay by your side. Oh, if he only knew!

“I will prepare something warm for you to drink, my lady,” he announced. “We wouldn’t want you to get sick after such a long stroll now, would we?”

With that, he left the hall and headed to the kitchen, giving Mey Rin the sign to lead you to the parlour.

It was the middle of the night when the furnace suddenly stopped working, prehaps since Bard forgot to put more wood inside, and Sebastian wandered to the basement to fix this terrible mistake before his master—and you, of course—will wake up in a cold bedrooms. It was dark, ominious even when his steps echoed in an empty hall, no candle in the hand as the demon didn’t need the light to see what was in front of him. He was like a shadow, merging into the abyss surrounding him, the silent predator whose senses were asleep in that moment. That is, until the fire burned inside the furnace once again and he could feel the familiar heat on the face.

For a mere second he considered putting the hand inside, experiencing the flames devouring his muscles and melting the skin, biting deep into the bones with such a delightful pain, the one surely much easier to endure than the napping fury resting in his dead heart. Eventually, he did no such a thing and straightened his back only to look at the fire.

He couldn’t just let you go, not when you started to mean so much to him. Imagining the future without you by his side was downright painful and it was not something he wanted to endure. Especially not since he still had the time, the possibility to change everything before it will be too late.

With a malicious smile playing on the lips, Sebastian left the basement, now his steps completely inaudible as he seemed to flow through the darkness.

Sebastian spotted you in the gardens next morning, the fresh dew still at the tips of your shoes as you were sitting in an arbour and taking small sips from the porcelain cup full of tea. It was a delightful image, your frame surrounded by blooming flowers, the sun caressing your skin and the shadows that played on your dress—picturesque like one of the Monet’s artworks.

Placing the polished platter on the cupboard, Sebastian decided to take an insignificant break and join you on this sunny morning for a little conversation. He has spent quite a long time on considering how to approach you properly, but in the end decided to rely on his skills and charms instead of any planning. Where would the fun be then, after all?

“Wonderful day, isn’t it?” Turning your head, you noticed Sebastian heading toward you, the platter with chopped apples in his gloved hand.

Placing the snack on the nearby table, he stood there for a while, waiting patiently for the moment when you will invite him to sit next to you. Which you did, quite quickly.

“Indeed, it is. It must have been raining in the night, the pavement is all damp,” you told him the obvious but he didn’t care.

Nothing in the whole world could distract him from looking at you, at your face; those cheeks, eyelashes and the tip of the nose, the curve of your ear and the shape of your lips, the little vein pulsing with warm blood on your neck.

What a splendid day it was, truly.

“Forgive me my brashness, my lady, but will you allow me to ask you a single question?” Sebastian muttered softly, causing you to look at him, a wondering expression painting on your features.

“Of course,” you answered. “Whatever you please.”

Smile creeped on his lips.

“There is a secret I would like to share with you, my lady.”

“A secret?” Now, that was interesting. What kind of secret could such a perfect butler have? “Why would you want to share it with me in particular?”

“Because you are the only person who knows how to listen properly. You hear and you understand. Your fiancé is such a lucky man to have you by his side…”

“Why, thank you.” His compliments were pleasant to hear and the spark of serene in his eyes when he was looking at you being enough of a proof that he meant no harm.

“It only makes me wonder…” he acted as if he was deeply thinking for a while. “Why would you want to spend the rest of your life with such a filthy liar.”

Sebastian’s statement surprised you, shocked even and immediately you considered simply walking away. Still, he managed to stop you with nothing but continuing his speech, the words rolling off his tongue like a venom.

“The man you love so deeply is nothing but a liar, my lady, blinding you with sweet promises of the bright future while in the end, he will bring you nothing but shame. He will murder your heart, step on your beauty and strangle the joy out of your cold, dead body.”

The demon was now close to you, catching you in the trap and whispering to your ear, while inhaling the scent of your skin.

“He is a thief, my love, the most brutal of the kind. What do you think, how many years will it take until he will start growing hungry again? Until feasting upon you won’t be enough for him and so he will have to find another victim, another young, breathtaking woman to woo. Doesn’t it sound familiar to you? Is it not what have exactly happened to the friend of yours? The cruel man leaving her behind when something new, fascinating appeared in the grasp of his hand?”

The tea in your hands was cold now and it tasted bitter all of a sudden. The birds were still chirping above your head, roses around you smelling the same, soft blows of wind caressing your neck as if they were trying to soothe your pain. But no matter how much they tried, they couldn’t get rid off the dark clouds enwrapping your mind.

“Where will you turn then, when your youth will pass?” Sebastian’s lips almost kissed the shell of your ear. “Where will you go when you won’t be able to wander through the meadows anymore? What will you do then, all alone in this dirty world, only waiting to swallow you whole? Answer me, my love. Wouldn’t you prefer to not be afraid? To not let the worry consume you, day after day scared of him losing his interest?” His voice went low. “They all do, in the end.”

The unspoken question was resting at the back of your tongue for a long time and only then you found the strength to say it out loud, the demon’s warm breath tickling your sensitive skin as he bent to your neck like a starving vampire.

“Who are you…?”

Sebastian chuckled.

“Me? Oh, my love, this is exactly the secret I wanted to share with you today.” He put a finger under your chin and made you face him, now his words ghosting over your lips and deep, dark eyes looking at you with an utmost fascination. “But now, forget about him. Forget about the bleeding wounds he will bring upon your delicate skin. Forget about the murder he will commit on you. Forget about the ring and promises. Forget about everything. But me.”

[mathematicalghost]

celeste, anxiety, and me

A couple of notable things happened this week:

I started 428 Shibuya Scramble on PC

I finally dusted off my Twitch account to stream for the first time in months

I finished Celeste

And, most frustratingly, I had an anxiety attack.

I don’t really talk about my anxiety all that much, or at least not nearly as much as I should. I got diagnosed with it in the height of my GCSE’s, so absolutely no prizes for guessing exactly what flared it up. I didn’t really do much about it in a medical sense - I never took medication, saw a therapist, or really had much interaction with a healthcare professional at all after a diagnoses. I just… lived with it. There were a whole list of very clear triggers for it, and I worked through them and figured out how to cope using mechanisms that were both good for me and uh, less good (if you’ve ever seen me at an all day event where I’m new to the building layout, I am almost definitely dehydrated). The laundry list got smaller, and I claimed I “stopped” having anxiety just before I went to university. Hrm. It didn’t quite work out that way.

Let me jump back to Celeste really quickly, because I’m not just unloading all my trauma onto an unsuspecting reader without a reason for it (I swear!). So, I really enjoyed Celeste - evident by the fact I bothered to actually finish it, a rare feat that is becoming increasingly less rare as my free time is now more predictable and less guilt-wracked from education. It took me a little under 18 hours to complete, although this doesn’t include any strawberry collecting, I don’t have all the B-sides (I haven’t played the B-sides levels yet either), the Crystal Hearts-based level is currently locked off to me, and includes the fact I made liberal use of the Assist Mode function. I’d imagine if you were any better at platformers than I am, it’d probably take 12 hours or so to do a single run, but equally if I went for an actual completion run I’d still have a good extra 30 hours left to me in this game. I’m still pretty new to short platformer games, spending my time caught up in RPGs that all my friends played and not realising how little I actually care for that style of gameplay, but Celeste was so addictive to me just because I could play in the stolen chunks of time I’d find on the bus to work. It definitely made me more alert when I’d get into the offices in the morning - nothing like a good bit of frustrating gameplay to get your brain going in the morning, I guess.

Celeste is such an easy game to recommend because there’s already so many people raving about it - I don’t need to rehash why the gameplay or music is so good when there's plenty of work out there already explaining it. I loved how the Strawberries held no actual mechanical weight to them other than “idk if you want to I guess”. I loved the mini rhythm levels to achieve the B-side cassettes. I loved the Assist Mode, where I could add an extra dash or switch on invincibility when my hand started to hurt and the thrill of the challenge was replaced by pure frustration. And, above all, it’s pinned by the most amazing story.

So, the basic premise is that Madeline decides to hike up Celeste Mountain. She’s not much of a mountain climber, or any kind of climber at all really, but the mountain calls to her in an inexplicable way. She has to prove herself, prove that she’s able to do something. Madeline is pretty open about the fact she has depression, and the Mountain exploits this to split the depression “Part of [Madeline]” into a ghoul. She looks like Madeline in every way except that she’s purple, floats, and is constantly trying to kill Madeline. At times, she’ll even sabotage Madeline’s relationship with other people, causing them to to turn on Madeline, too.

Part of what really struck me about Madeline’s story is the fact that the depression ghost didn’t actually hit her at first. She’s nervous, sure, but she actually gets part way up the summit before this ghost even appears. She doesn’t have her first panic attack until long after the ghost has established herself as a nuisance, and it crops up even when danger doesn’t seem to be around (such as at a campfire). It takes different forms at times, and affects people differently (Mr Oshiro and Theo both have times when their own demons affect them, and it’s not the same as Madeline’s ghoul). It mirrors my own experience with anxiety, especially as it moves to the final chapters.

So, back to me, I guess. If Madeline’s depression looks like a ghoul version of herself, floating menacingly and pushing through outbursts, then I’ve always described my anxiety as an overtired toddler. The main wave of anxiety has passed now (Anxiety attacks for me can last between three days and, during a particularly bad February of this year, three and a half weeks), but I think the main thing to trigger it was a stomach ache I had on Wednesday. If you’re thinking it doesn’t make sense, then try asking a screaming two year old why they’re crying and deciphering their nonsensical string of an answer. Maybe there was something deeper to the anxiety than a stomach ache, but that doesn’t mean I can articulate it to anybody else, least of all myself.

Anxiety attacks are slightly different to panic attacks in that they can last longer, and don’t always have an obvious external symptom like hyperventilating. For me, I was in a loop of nausea, irritability, fighting back the consistent urge to cry, and heart palpitations. I didn’t quite hyperventilate, but I was breathless at the height of it, manifesting as a cough as my body fought to breathe. All of these symptoms made me tired, which made me anxious, because I get anxious when I’m tired, which made me more tired, which made me anxious, and so on and so forth. Stomach pains and nausea make me anxious too, because I don’t know if I’ll be sick, which also in turn make me more anxious, and get me trapped into a building cycle of pure dread. Three and a half weeks of it wasn’t exactly the best way to spend my February of this year, and it certainly wasn’t my chosen method of experiencing the past week.

Madeline asks her ghoul at one point why she’s being attacked. Surely, if Madeline’s fear is that she’ll get hurt on the mountain, why is her ghoul trying to kill her? Much in the same way I wonder why I’m getting anxious over nausea if it’s only a symptom of the anxiety in the first place, the ghoul isn’t on the mountain to follow logical reasoning. Theo tells Madeline that she’ll only get hurt if she tries to help Mr Oshiro more, and that her existence on the mountain is already a proof of achievement. And yet, Madeline is determined to stay in the resort (to my Switch left joycon’s horror) to help him regardless of whether or not he is grateful. I do things to prove something to myself long after it’s necessary, even if I know I’ll pay the price with my mental health later. We do things that aren’t always objectively logical because ghouls, and toddlers, and crystals, and weird Mario-esque ghosts, aren’t always things you can objectively reason with.

Initially, Madeline tries to swallow her fears and just climb. To ignore the ghoul she saw in the cracked mirror. Further up Celeste Mountain, Madeline concludes that she needs to destroy her ghoul. She needs to get rid of the “Part of [Madeline]” that seeks to hurt her. Then later, finally, Madeline realises she needs to talk to the ghoul. To embrace it and utilise it.

I once was deep in an anxiety attack when I went to a fencing match. By mistake, I’d had too many coffees that morning and the combined caffeine and anxiety pretty much clipped me through the sky and into another plane of existence. We won the match, and in turn I figured out that if I move more in a match, I get more points. Was it healthy in the moment? Absolutely not. But I doubt jumping into an abyss and hoping your ghoul is going to throw you the rest of the way is that healthy either. But you can take from it and learn.

Ignoring my symptoms of anxiety didn’t help at all. Avoiding all sources of my triggers helped a little, but not that much either. Recognising when I’m having an anxiety attack, managing the symptoms, and letting it pass like a wave works so much better. It’s only my second anxiety attack of the year, but if I get a third one I know what I need to do to get through it.

I’m not going to climb a mountain to prove I can do this, but I’m glad I followed Madeline on her journey as she did.

[orion98]

1 through 170

You absolute sicko. I’ll do it

1. A few inches taller wouldn’t hurt

2. Dragon

3. Shorts and t shirt or full assassins creed outfit

4. Ocarina of time or og smash bros

5. Star Wars oc, political rant, self introspection

6. Warning: this person can be bought with food. Especially boneless chicken

7. Dnd is the only true sandbox game

8. Phlegmatic or Melancholic. Maybe both

9. Yes

10. No

11. Straight

12. Arizona iced tea

13. Dog person but my personality and habits are more like a cat tbh

14. Elf

15. Outside Xbox and outside xtra. Please check them out I love them

16. 5’8

17. Maybe Jacob? I’m pretty happy with my name

18. Roughly 160 pounds

19. I believe there are supernatural spirits but I think they’re just demons trying to deceive people. I don’t think that spirit in one’s house is actually their grandma. [see how Saul visited a witch in the Bible]

20. Space. Scary things with too many teeth exist in the ocean. Space is cool yet can still have that element of terrifying horror of endless abyss

21. Yeah

22. People looking over my shoulder at what I’m doing on my phone, people hearing what I’m listening to

23. Diurnal (that word sounds fake and I don’t believe it exists)

24. Orion obviously

25. That one star next to the moon. It’s the moon’s buddy

26. Googled it. Nope. Don’t like that.

27. Fear of heights, ocean, endless abyss, spiders

28. I think the planet naturally changes no matter what we do and while we should still take care of it, I think the planet would win in the end anyways

29. No

30. The old justice league animated movie. The one that started the animated show

31. Depends on what it is. See previous phobias

32. Like 17. In the past few years one of my cats got out and got pregnant three separate times so yeah

33. 2 because they made me answer every one of these

34. Blue?

35. Idk, a lot of the popular places don’t interest me that much

36. California

37. Hazel

38. Introvert

39. No

40. Depends on who’s asking ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I’m Kidding. Hugs

41. My mutuals

42. My family

43. No

44. No

45. No

46. Don’t have one right now. Used to have some though

47. Scratch on a chalkboard, high pitched tipping from small dogs, the roar that the camel divine beast in breath of the wild makes

48. The sound my dog makes when he’s excited

49. No

50. No

51. Right now it’s Travis willingham and Laura Bailey. They’re married so it adds a whole other layer when one is a villain and the other is a hero in full metal alchemist

52. This was asked before???

53. Like I want to make anon answer all these questions. Tired

54. Current color is fine right now

55. When I got saved

56. Anything that gets my mind off whatever is working me up. Outside Xbox, food, walking the dog

57. No

58. It means I like Orion

59. Funny, introverted, polite

60. No

61. When they don’t have anything I want to see or when they don’t act decent towards people they disagree with

62. Memes or respectful discourse

63. The kind of person who listens to you, adds onto what you say, includes you in what’s happening, etc.

64. Dogs, dragon, lizards

65. @korosensei-404 @astrofunny1337 @daphenomenal-1

66. (ง’̀-‘́)ง

67.

68. Mediator

69. Gemini

70. No. He does say hi by lifting his paw though and that’s adorable

71. Shorts and a t shirt

72.

73. No

74. My eyes are sensitive to the sun. If I’m outside during the day then I need sunglasses to function

75. No

76. Why wouldn’t I?

77. No

78. Never done either

79. The prideful attitude that people have and think they’re better than everyone else

80. Dragons

81. None

82. Helping people

83. My sister or my dad. A few people on the internet

84. “It’s living up to the expectation tbh”

85. 91

86. I don’t think so, I’m not sure

87. Yes

88. No. I have long legs

89. alexandrite

90. I would want to be a dragon but my personality is definitely a cat

91. I have no idea so I’m just gonna say daisy

92. That one McDonald’s near my church. They never get my order right

93. Not even one. I don’t like coffee

94. Read minds

95. Yeah

96. Winter

97. Maybe 30 seconds?

98. Any one of the number of discourse people who’ve decided to bully people who simply disagree with them.

99. My old youth pastor. He actually made a YouTube channel recently and I was going to make a post about it

100. Chick Fil a

101. Tennis shoes

102. LA California

103. No

104. Mercury

105. ALWAYS

106. Not really

107. No

108. How people see me

109. No

110. It’s probably in this ask tbh

111. Any math question

112. No

113. Yeah they’re cool

114. Depends. Cloudy days make it seem gloomy but sunny days blind me because it’s so bright

115. No one

116. Never thought about this so that one that can look like a dog

117. Blue. Why would I want it different?

118. No

119. Their laugh

120. Fruits

121. Sleep

122. Sky

123. Sweet

124. Either one

125. No

126. The toxic people

127. The people I’ve made friends with

128. How many pillows would it take to fight the moon

129. Always find something to laugh about after crying

130. The anon who sent this ask maybe

131. I can’t smell. It helps when I have to pick up dog poop. It doesn’t help when I can’t smell delicious foods or things

132. No

133. Computer

135. Neither

136. Lobed? Idk what this means

137. No

138. 6-8

139. Jimbo

140. No

141. No

142. Good

143. Either one. Both are great

144. Injustice and being punished for a false accusation

145. English

146. Girls

147. No

148. My height?

149. I always try to cheer people up or make them laugh

150. Bold of you to assume I want to talk to anybody

152. No. They have good quizzes but bad politics

153. Don’t have one

154. No

155. No

156. My voice

157. People examining my work

158. I’m not a liar, can’t remember any big ones

159. 127

160. Over 4,400

161. 23 in this one

162. I like almost every post I come across so it’s a lot and I’m on mobile so I can’t see the number right now

163. Idk

164. Short hair but it’s getting long and I need a hair cut

165. Idk

166. It helps people all around the world

167. Yeah

168. No

169. No

170. Yes

TL;DR? That’s fair