#idk im just really getting to hate the way movies nowadays look that are likely shot digitally and are just so subdued color wise

[carcarrot]

old man yells at cloud about constant sequels

[fish-bowl-2]

okay lmao you don't have to answer them all but im interested in your hot takes when you have time

7, 8, 9, 13, 16, 19, 21, 22, 24

😁 we need something to talk about in this micro fandom

Oh boy oh boy...

7. What character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because of how the fandom acts about them? Honestly, a bit of a hard one for me to answer because I don't really have one. I mean, there are always going to be fandom interpretations I am not into, but even so I don't really let that influence how I feel about the actual characters. A lot of those fandom interpretations don't seem to be the overwhelming majority anymore either. I feel that if I was invested in the EEnE fandom back in 2013-2014 I would absolutely be tired of Kevin, but that isn't really the case anymore. As far as I can see lol.

8. Common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about? That all the Kanker sisters (excluding May) are irredeemable and will never break out of whatever cycle they are present to at home. I mean, I'm not asking for any neatly packaged happy ending when I say that, but idk, despite my issues with their lack of development and presentation on the show, I think they are really interesting. If you want to get deep, they are just kids after all, with a lot of room for change in their life going forward. I like to think that they ALL go onto better things. Better can be open to interpretation. I do not mean any kind of stereotypical college degree manicured lawn and job type stuff. Satisfaction can look like a multitude of things. A lot of people apply this to May, which is great! But does that have to mean pushing aside Marie and Lee in the process? I personally don't think that is very fair.

9. Worst part of canon? Harassment when it is girls towards boys = funny : / Also, this is more of a fandom thing, but there are so many youtube videos where ppl are titling them stuff like "Kanker sisters RAPE Eds" like wow so edgy and funny guys how about we keep this in 2009?

13. Worst blorbofication? Absolutely Edd. No argument. I don't think that this is an unpopular sentiment nowadays either. It has been discussed to earth and back at this point.

16. You can't understand why so many people like this thing: - That in high school/college Edd will make a complete 360 change in personality and become a complete bad-boy shadow the hedgehog recolor. Granted, I do think that Edd will grow to tone down his anxiety over following rules, BUT to completely change is out of the question. This is still Edd we're talking about. Rebelling for him would be something like jaywalking or wearing shoes inside someone's house he doesn't like. It nags me a bit when people completely ignore the defined quirks and personality of a character in favor of creating a whole new oc. You can of course be inspired by a character you like to create your own, but how about present them as that? - That Edd will start to drift away from Eddy and Ed as he grows older, or the other way around and Eddy and/or Ed drift away from Edd. I don't get how this head-canon keeps popping up. The WHOLE point of the show is their friendship and that they are blood brothers and meant for each other!!! This goes beyond their diverging interests and personalities!! The actual show proved this with the movie!! "But lots of people don't stay friends with the people they knew from childhood" umm and lots of people do? I am still closest with my middle school friends then any other people I've met in adulthood. My dad doesn't talk to anyone from university but still meets up with his childhood friends. And even so, I just don't understand the appeal. Their friendship kind of IS the whole show, and doing away with that ultimately defeats the purpose for me. I find it a lot more interesting to delve into aspects like how they would uphold these connections and friendships into adulthood, when work and responsibilities makes it a lot harder to get together regularly.

19. You're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like... Ngl I can't help feeling kind of shy about being super invested in a slapstick cartoon that came out nearly three decades ago. Even when I am talking to other cartoon/animation fans, I feel a bit silly about wanting to analyze their dynamics and traits when most people casually just remember the show as fun slapstick (of course it is but I also wanna get insane about it without being seen as MysteriousMrEnter or smth lmao).

21. Part of canon you think is overhyped? "What is under Double Dee's hat, guys?" "Why have they never confirmed what is under there?" "Any one else disappointed that they never showed Edd without his hat?" Umm idc lol

22. Your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores? - Probably the connection between Ed and Double Dee. I think it is really cute. I love how so many episodes kind of have them hanging out together. I don't think people acknowledge enough how their dynamic works. It is very Autism 2 Autism, like Edd gets to kind of info-dump about whatever to Ed, and even if Ed has no clue what he is talking about, he still enjoys the company and has fun in listening and partaking in whatever Edd is invested in. - I always really dig how Nazz is depicted kind of "cool" and "sporty". Idk it could have been very easy to make her just any kind of popular girl trope, but she kind of holds her own (even if she is super underdeveloped compared to the other characters). I think it makes her friendship with Kevin interesting. - On that note, I also really like Kevin and Rolf's dynamics in their friendship. I do actually see people discuss this a bunch, but I felt like I had to mention it. I really like how the typical American Apple Pie jock is besties with the foreigner with odd customs and both are kind of at an equal footing to each other. - Sarah is insanely strong, like almost on the same level as Ed. What is in that family's genes??

24. Topic that brings up the most rancid discourse? Shipping, probably. (When is it not shipping).

[lilyclawthorne]

Through The Looking Glass Ruins Thoughts

what's this? I wrote this post after getting sleep instead of doing it at 3am in an attempt to not accidentally write something that is literally just incorrect for once? amazing.

oh so we're starting off with pain for Gus immediately :(

willow is tough as nails tho, that part is true

gus has a bad girl coven t-shirt!! glad to know the order came in lmao

pls I love his prerecorded message that's so cute

willow's arm is broken :(

I love Luz giving Gus even more nicknames. I like to think it's cause she remembers how excited he was about the first one.

Gus? Different types of magic?? ............... multi-tracker Gus???

BRAXUS IS SAFE THANK TITAN. also braxus is with his dad 🥺

we just met them but I think I love them?? also im a sucker for Felicia Day and she sounds adorable here.

so matt was a glandus kid, and also has an older brother who picks on him. wonder where he fits into this glandus dynamic though since he was expelled. he was construction too so he would've been in classes with Bria.

galderstones is very clever, seeing that they sound a lot like gallstones, which are just hardened deposits of bile. rocks made of witch bile probably are very powerful

love that planet of the humans was considered an implausible movie

I always forget amity is so good with kids, it's really sweet to be reminded of it

Ed and Em definitely know Luz has a crush on Amity and I'm here for it

"accidentally texted a poem to their mom" Ed's date is nonbinary pls?

obligatory name meaning bullet point: Phillip means "lover of horses" idk what to do with that but there it is

going off of that, Bria means "noble", Gavin means "white hawk" and Agnarr has some type of meaning to do with "warrior"

someone give Agnarr his butterfly sanctuary RIGHT NOW

love how excited to help out Luz Amity is when she suggested she'd show her around the human realm

"im not surprised he couldn't handle glandus"?? wasn't he expelled??

aw I love that Bria wants to make things better at Glandus

"if I catch you playing with anymore bugs I'll make you eat them" ok never mind somethings off about her

literally she's just breaking shit now, like doesn't even care about historical preservation man wtf

ok now I just hate Bria

"I heard it has the power to control the weather, and summon ghosts" I bet you its all illusions

interesting the diary is from the 1600s. I know some are theorizing about this human being Belos, which would then require an explanation for that length of time. perhaps its the magic from the palismen extending his life? if this were the case though, that means there's a chance that this great great great great grand parent clawthorne may have personally known a younger belos and gives some validity back to the belos is related to the clawthornes theories, just with much more generations between them

hey owl house crew please don't do this to me. literally started crying as soon as I saw Luz's face 😢

aw I love that the keeper was just excited to have a visitor at the graveyard

"we gain no powers from them so we're the least likely to use them" hmmm this is interesting. the stones feel like the kinda thing below probably would want for himself or his coven, so the fact that illusionists decided to protect them and keep them from falling into the wrong hands is interesting. I know I've theorized about bards being more hesitant on belos and his reign and I had a very stretched out theory about illusionists being possible to follow in that way of thinking but now it feels a little less stretched out is all?

"this is exactly how it was at glandus" look I can't help but wonder if he wasn't expelled and actually left of his own choice

pls why did that illusion work on Gavin he's literally so dumb

Bria you little shit you brought this on yourself, it's so fucking creepy but you kinda asked for it. but also I love that she thinks it can't even touch her and it does. I think that really emphasizes how skilled Gus is that she can literally feel his illusions

also the keeper is so right, Gus is so clever!! was kinda shocked to see all her spells that had worked but she just couldn't see them

ok that was very sweet of Matt to offer to help build the defenses and also aww he and Gus are definitely friends now.

Emira brushing Amity's hair and yelling at Ed for picking his skin, she really is the eldest daughter

AHH I LOVE HER HAIR

I swear to god if she gets in trouble for this im gonna fight

I also love that she chose a different color instead of just letting her roots grow out. I think it kinda shows her not wanting to look like either parent. But also purple is all matchy matchy with Luz

of course Luz got Amity her job back 🥺

THE DOOR THE ECHO MOUSE SHOWS IS LITERALLY EDA'S DOOR

this old clawthorne family member who told Gwen about the human literally knew this human personally, she had to! how else would his door end up in their backyard.

AHH IM SCREAMING AND CRYING OVER THE KISS. no really though, younger me is crying happy tears again because I can not believe we can see this stuff on children's programming nowadays, I love it so so much.

[theropoda]

3, 4, 6-8, 11, 13-17, 19-22, 26-30 uwu

WOO LAD THAT’S A LOT THANK U!!! this got long and i wrote an essay or two LOL so im putting it under a readmore!

3: Best game you’ve ever played? WEEEELLLL.......let me preface this with two things: one, i am a FAKE GAMER as in my laptop is not at all made for gaming, it’s piss poor, so a big chunk of games i’m interested in is because i watched a playthrough of them lol. i have a 3ds but only 3 games on it (animal crossing new leaf, tomodachi life, nintedogs & cats). second, i’m very bad at choosing favorites of things.....BUUUUT .....i choooooose, in no particular order, OFF, pigeonetics, elder scrolls oblivion, pathologic classic HD!! i’m more than likely forgetting a few though, so sorry about that

4: Worst game you’ve ever played? as i said above, cannot choose favorites, neither can i choose whatever the opposite of favorites is but...uhh, does lif even count as a game? like lif, the stupid little furry flash game i remember playing on some shady website. it was surprisingly very active with a BUNCH of people there but i kept dying like every 5 seconds....AWFUL

6: A game that’s changed you the most? WELL define Changed.....ummm aha first thing that comes to mind is OFF. it’s one of those things where you never knew you wanted something so fucking bad until you saw it--and it’s like that for me. i NEVER knew i loved that odd, surreal, colorful, “looks playful and simple in some parts but incredibly violent and unnerving in other parts” aesthetic til i played it. like aesthetically i love that game to BITS and something about it just stuck with me til the end of time.

later in life (meaning, past year or so) it changed me because it taught me a lesson about storytelling and creative endeavors. a very useful lesson. which is: things don’t really need to have a meaning. stories, art, music, writing, whatnot, while it CAN be deep and meaningful, while you CAN use it as a way to communicate with the world about all kinds of heartfelt things, it can also be...nothing, really.

once i, as usual, got ridiculously overwhelmingly sad about small things. specifically seeing other people around me come up with all kinds of deep and meaningful characters and stories, sometimes putting them into webcomics or writings of theirs, and they were all so well-thought out and detailed and what i envied most was people put a lot of themselves and their experiences into them, venting and coping through them, whilst also making these larger-than-life grandiose complex stories and worlds and so on and so forth.

it made me look at my own ideas and get mad/frustrated at how shallow they were. but then i remembered OFF and i felt better because Fun Fact, mortis ghost has a now-abandoned dA account and if you go through the comment section on his profile, he answers a lot of fan questions and he mentions several times that the game didn’t really have a “meaning”, it didn’t really have a “deeper story” or moral or anything, really. i’m paraphrasing this but i vividly remember him saying “i wanted to make a game, so i did”.

that made me feel a lot better because it made me realise that sometimes art--especially stories, in my case-- doesn’t NEED to be DEEP or have MEANING...sometimes it can just BE!!!! sometimes it really can just be all about AESTHETICS like who GIVES a shit if there’s a hidden meaning if you take the first letter of all of your characters’ names and put them backwards, sometimes all that matters is if they just VIBE with you y’know....

yume nikki is similar in this regard bc that game doesn’t have any story other than “collect egg” and yet it’s so impactful. that game doesn’t have a story or meaning it just IS........ :) GOD THATS SO LONG IM SORRY ABOUT THAT but yeah. funny violent ghostbusting baseball man is a game that changed me :)

7: A game you’ll never forget? OFF AGAIN LOL,,, it’s just so memorable because of how unique it is. visuals, soundtrack, story, everything is so memorable. unforgettable. oh god you can tell how much i love this damn game can’t you

8: Best soundtrack? yakuza 0, OFF, there is a picture (another game by mortis ghost, again composed by alias conrad coldwood who also composed OFF), pigeonetics (the entire soundtrack of which is here), jojo’s bizarre adventure all star battle and eyes of heaven, silent hill 2 & 3, undertale....probably forgetting more but all of these...earcandy

11: Hardest game you’ve played? i am a shitty gamer so this is Most games i’ve played lol!! but uhh..well you see. hardest game i remember playing as of recent is pathologic classic hd in which it’s...not only hard to understand what any character is saying at any given time lol but also, i don’t think it’s HARD it’s just...you need to focus. you REALLY need to fucking focus and pay attention in this game. so i wouldn’t say its HARD, but i’m only putting this here bc it’s in recent memory.

i say recent memory because the true answer is susceptible to “yeah, but now you’re older, it must not be so hard.” as in if i played it now i think i’d have a way easier time. but when i was around....10-12 years old i had several ps3 video game adaptations of animated movies and i had SUCH a fucking hard time with them. g-force, bolt and up in particular were fucking HARD. like genuinely, the hardest time i had EVER had in my live playing video games is tied to these three fucking games. g-force and bolt ESPECIALLY. one particular level in bolt took both me AND my sister around a year to fucking finish.

again, i was baby, so i bet i’d have a much easier time with them now that i’m 17. but for now, in my experience, bolt and g-force for the ps3 were harder than pathologic classic. i think icepick lodge should take a few notes for them for pathologic 2.

13: A game you were the most excited for when it wasn’t released yet? STREETS OF KAMUROCHO...i spent the entire day of its release anticipating its launch lol

14: A game you think would be cool if it had voice acting? hmm..most games i like and know about do have voice acting so i dunno....i guess it would’ve been kind of cool if morrowind had like, full proper voice acting. but i can understand why it only voice acted things like greetings and battle insults because GOD that game is SO...complicated...and as a result, the conversations are so lengthy and text-full. playing morrowind is really like a goddamn book! if it was voice acted i’m sure all that information would have to be shortened bc i know no one is going to fucking voice act two whole paragraphs

15: Which two games do you think would make an awesome crossover? pigeonetics and yakuza in which instead of being about the criminal underworld it’s about shady and unethical pigeon clubs, breeding, racing, etc etc...a lot of illegal shit does happen in the world of pigeons especially when it comes to racing; prized racers have been kidnapped and held for ransom before. and then there’s Avian Cucking: The Sport, where people breed the sexiest pigeons (horseman thief pouters), release them outside to seduce other people’s sexy pigeons, and bring them back and keep ‘em, drama ensues. will kiryu ever escape his past as a professional pigeon-napper, and find solace in his new life as a pigeon hobbyist? find out now by playing YACOOZA......

JOKES ASIDES i don’t know i really don’t....umm, pigeonetics and animal crossing somehow?? :O... like, instead of managing your own town it’s managing your own loft!...orrrr, the jojo games (all star battle & eyes of heaven) with yakuza, because i think they’re somewhat similar because they’re both haha Wacky Silly AND serious over the top fighty-fighting.....or maybe a crossover with OFF and discover my body, which, despite being an incredibly short and obscure indie game i still love to bits for what it’s worth. WAIT ANIMAL CROSSING AND MINECRAFT THAT WOULD FUCK SO HARD OH MY GOD

16: Character you’ve hated most? From what game? i can’t think of any character i like, HATE...with a burning passion.. there are a few i dislike or have a complicated relationship with though.. i’m not interested in the series anymore but ouma from drv3...i’ll admit that he is a bit fun sometimes, especially in the very early beginning he’s a likeable brat but as the game progresses he becomes more irritating than anything and i have an issue with him in regards to writing, despite the fact that i have never been awake in any english class ever lol. it’s too long to put in this already long post but i’ll keep it at that. if you like him, well, good for you for finding joy in something i couldn’t! but he just doesn’t do it for me.

AH I JUST REMEMBERED....MINE......FROM YAKUZA 3....maybe i’d change my mind if i watched a playthrough of y3 again, because i think you always absorb something better on your second watch (tho i honestly Dont have the energy to do that all over again, the yakuza games are too fucking long), but i really hate his writing. spoilers for y3 but, i think mine’s writing, alongside other things in the game, were super messy...and a big part of why i hate him is that not only is he one of those “could’ve had great potential but fell flat” sorta guys but also his love for daigo is seen as some fans as good gay rep and i?????/.............um....WELL let’s just say that, i think people nowadays will see any gay character ever in any circumstance and say it’s good gay rep just based off the fact that A Gay Character exists....he was Not, good gay rep imo....he was not, let alone, Good. .........

17: What game do you never tell people you play? can’t think of any games i wouldn’t tell people i play.. idk exactly what this question’s asking. does it mean what game you don’t tell ppl you play bc you’re embarrassed about it...? i’m not very embarrassed by any of them. the only thing that comes close, i guess, is uhh lioden and wolvden. i’ve only interacted with those communities a LITTLE TINY WEE BIT, yet of what i’ve seen it’s a goddamn dumpster fire and i’d never want to be associated with them lol

19: Which game do you think deserves a revival? i’m well aware it’ll never happen and that it’s more a wet dream than anything but...PT/silent hills..... on a more realistic/”could happen” note, PIGEONETICS!!!! SERIOUSLY, it’s an amazing game about amazing animals and it teaches genetics in a very simplified and efficient way!! genetics is SO hard for me to understand, i fucking hated studying it but this game really helped me understand how it works AND its super engaging and interesting!! HOWEVER, of all the pigeon genes we know of, only a handful were seen in pigeonetics and i’d LOVE a sequel that employs new game mechanics AND new genes!! i wanna learn about bronze and stencil genes! i wanna learn about phenotypes like grizzled and pied!!! genes like sooty and dirty!!! @ UNIVERSITY OF UTAH GENETICS DEPARTMENT PLEASE IM BEGIGNG YOU

20: What was the first video game you ever played? earliest memories of Gaming involves me at my aunt’s house playing two games: super mario brothers and some kind of trapeze game. i don’t remember anything else though

21: How old were you when you first played a video game? i can’t remember but i must’ve been REAL tiny.... 6-9 years, maybe??

22: If you could immerse yourself in any game for one day, which game would it be? What would you do? immerse myself meaning go into their world...? huh....on one hand i’d like to go in the world of yakuza 0 to play in the arcades and do whore related activities but i’d also love to go into the world of animal crossing (and i’m pretty sure i’d be some sort of generic dromaeosaurid in that game!!) and shop, chat with villagers, do chores for them, go fishing, bug hunting, eat delicious fucking food like the apples mangos peaches cherries etc etc.....OH AND FOSSIL HUNTING THAT’S THE BEST PART!! though it would definetly be a little weird, to be a little dinosaur and finding a fossil of a...little dinosaur....i guess the non-sentient species went extinct and the dinosaur i am is some kind of, descendant of a sapient non-avian dinosaur that survived the k-pg extinction event...oh but who cares all i want is a cool little ambulocetus fossil or something. and some cherry pie :)

26: Handheld or console? my old ps3 just went kaput one day years ago so i haven’t used it in years so i can’t compare well... but i’d say handheld, because it lets me like DO stuff more...would love to get a console one day, a ps4 maybe but i’m kinda worried it’ll make me stay in one room all day wasting away my time when there’s other stuff i can do, y’know? but something handheld like my 3ds, on the other hand...i can do stuff with it. i can take it to my room and play it between breaks i take as i clean the room and fold my clothes, i can watch something on the tv and play the game during ad breaks, i can take it outside too if it has charge to last me a while! so....handheld i guess

27: Has there ever been a moment that has made you cry? yakuza 0 and undertale in particular have ALMOST made me fucking bawl with many of its moments....yakuza 0 especially, after that Fucking Ending i had trouble sleeping because oh my fucking god. video game people SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28: Which character’s clothes do you wish you owned the most?

29:  Which is more important, gameplay or story? HMMM....well, if i were to play a game with a shitty story but really good and fun gameplay i’d probably continue playing it for the gameplay. but if i played a game with shitty gameplay but an interesting story, there is a chance i’d play it more for the sake of the story but also i might just quite and see the rest of the story on youtube or something. i’m more likely to go through a boring story for fun gameplay than go through boring gameplay for an interesting story, so i guess gameplay is more important to me....that is, WHEN i actually own and play a game as opposed to when i just watch someone play a game because i don’t own the game but wanna know abt the story lol

30: A game that hasn’t been localized in your country that you think should be localized? i have no idea how video game localization really works....but i assume localizing a game in india would mean something like, removing content according to cultural norm and also somehow translating it into the 22 official languages..? or just two or three language if it’s tied to a particular state, which seems way more doable. i honestly have no idea? i’ve never interacted w the indian gaming community that much to be honest, all i know of it is of the video games i’ve seen sold in some game stores and a few whispers about like solid snake or whoever from my school’s cafeteria....the most popular games here, to my knowledge, are those very streamable games like fortnite and PUBG and your call of duties and whatnot. those generic shooters. and even then, that honestly isn’t the “indian” gaming community bc this country is so FUCKHUGE, it’s just tamil nadu. one state.

soooo, according to what little i know of gaming interests in where i live, i don’t think any of the games i like should be localized here bc i don’t really think there’s an audience for it as far as i can tell :( maybe animal crossing? it’s a fun little games for all ages and i think it has a chance of becoming popular here, so maybe that is worth a shot! but i can’t think of any other game that i like that really has an audience here (other than Me lol)

[vaguelygeiszlerian]

1 to 50

ok i just saw this existed, i live on tumblr mobile where i ignore the activity tab and scroll endlessly, bear w me

Animated character that was your gay awakening? uhhhhhhh,,,....,,,.. if i remembered anything abt my childhood i would tell u, im gonna say rukia from bleach because i want gorgeous short people to step on me

Grilled cheese or PB&J? peanut butter Always... tho if it was a fancy grilled cheese (there is a special preparation).... i would be torn

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? it really depends! i bounce around, i watch a lot of baumgartner restorations, i watch a LOT of nyx fears video essays on horror movies i would never watch, i watch longplays of, like, nier automata bc im still delighted by cryaotic?

Your go-to bar order, if you drink? i dont really get to order a lot of drinks at bars, itll depend, if im with friends ill order as many things off the cocktail menu as my money allows, if im with my parents ill order long island iced teas or whiskey and lemonade

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? i literally own like 3 pairs of shoes, one of which being the only pair i can actually safely wear haha.... but my favorite pair is the black red and gold converse that dont fit anymore but still remind me of high school

Top three cuisines? mexican, italian, whomever the fuck invented kasoundi

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? yeah as said above i have no clue about anything about my childhood so idk i think mum said once that my first proper word was just ‘no’ which sounds abt right

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? idk if my last job counts? i mean i used to do all round garden labor stuff until my pain got worse and i literally couldnt anymore so i got relegated to desk work

Look up. What’s directly across from you? oh a container of pesto i didnt like the flavour of and just... forgot to throw out.... i will do that tomorrow

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? i have a rwby poster signed by ray and jack? its p cool

Preferred way to spend a rainy day? preferred right now? wrapped in a metric fuckton of blankets w my partner

What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? i..... dont like bagels

Brunch or midnight snacks? i live a weirdly scheduled life, midnight snacks and brunch are interchangeable to me now, so both

Favorite mug you own i..... dont really have one? all of my actual mugs that are mine have my deadname on them haha

What coffee drink would you describe yourself as? overbrewed black coffee that someone left to go cold before dumping six packs of sugar in

Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!) ‘ And I don't want your pity I just want somebody near me ‘ bc we all love a bit of mitski when we are feeling the self isolation creeping in

Fruity or herbal teas? fruity teas only! or rather i drink fruit tisanes! but if you mean actual tea then herbal, i only drink peppermint tea

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? fruits basket! everyone watch the reboot

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? all the books i read for class sucked but medea wasnt so bad

Do you match your socks? only when theyre very fun patterned socks, and even then sometimes i will match them to the wrong pair but the same pattern, aka my double watermelon combo (i have a pair of green socks w watermelons and a pair of black socks w watermelons so)

Have you ever been horseback riding? no and i never will because i am fucking terrified of horses

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) uh.... uh i mean im not sure if it counts as a phase but i was stupid into vampires (to the point of me and my friends constructing the intricate theory that our teacher was a vampire and we had to kill her by the time we graduated (she was not and we did not and i hate all of those people now) i was just the weird conspiracy kid i guess, we used to spend every lunch staring across the oval at a house we were SURE an alien lived in (it was just a plastic bag being rustled by a fan)

Have you ever been to jail? bkdnbrb god no

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? im a lazy susan

Puzzles? i cant solve a rubiks cube but give me a 2000 piece jigsaw and ill sit there for 6 hours trying to solve it

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? oh this is tough..... orange juice, the fancy kind but with no bits in it, i used to like the bits but these days i just want a clean juice experience

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? ,,,,,,the ya fiction section, i never buy anything from there but i like to see if series i read as a teenager ever got new instalments after i stopped liking them

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? how to sleep like a normal person

Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat? uh, it depends! lizzo or my playlist of musicals! (which is literally just starkid/tcb stuff)

Where could someone find you in a museum? i could literally be anywhere, probably in front of some old piece though, just staring for an hour bc im struck by the majesty of it (and my legs probably locked up so i couldnt move anyway)

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? so i have a nice white button up and some really nice jeans i just got, and my suspenders, and my cool blue heels that i know i cant wear bc my legs cant handle walking in heels anymore, but it would look cool am i right

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? i look up at my roof which is almost entirely covered in glow in the dark stars and then stare into the camera (i wish every day that my roof was like the roof of the healthy harold van, i still have fucking dreams of that beautiful ceiling)

If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be? non traditional? id want a lizard that could curl round my shoulders like a leathery scarf

Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs? i dont have any photos on my wall so art by default

You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go? i just want the pensive emoji tattooed in the small of my back so if i wear a crop top everyone has to suffer with me

Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with fuck superheroes they suck, can i hang out with jason todd red hood style

Lakes, rivers, or oceans? oceans, i want to go to the beach so fucking bad

Favorite mid-2000s song i dont really have a Big Favorite but like..... i constantly thank god for esteban

How do you dress when you’re home alone? ive been in the same sweatpants and old paint shirt i got from my painting and decorating course for three days

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? armchair closest to the kitchen, perfect to make a quick escape if dad comes in

Knives or swords? knives, i dont have the upper body strength for swords

A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving? oh uh run away with me by crj, *bwoooooooo buhnuhnuuuuuu buhnuhnuuuuuhhh buhnuhnuuuuhhhhh*

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL BUT SPECIFICALLY ONLY CERTAIN PARTS FROM EACH OF THEM BC COLLECTIVELY THEY SUCK BUT PARTS OF THEM ARE PERFECT

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? no caption i dont want people to really acknowledge that i post things

Name a classic Vine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anQds9PQ7CA

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? hash browns hash browns hash browns ONLY

How do you top your ice cream? god its been so long since ive been able to eat ice cream.... with the reeses peanut butter ice cream shell topping

Do you like Jello? jelly is the pinnacle of our society and i wish i were eating it right now

What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did? i wish i had a picture of myself and my partner so i could set it as my phone lock screen (that or i wish i had a picture of me and a friend i really dearly miss bc i have pics of her in my phone but not of us together and i want some but i cant bring myself to say so)

How are you at climbing trees? theres a tree in my front yard i used to be able to hang off but nowadays i think id hurt myself just trying to lift my nasty meat sack off the ground trying

[fckeverything-v]

 1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? Lick

 2. What is home to you? Alabama:/

 3. What was the last lie you told? I couldnt tell you

 4. Does everyone deserve the truth? Maybe not?

 6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. Walk away, move states..

 7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) Being alone & fuck irdk

 8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? Mhm 4 years ago.

 9. How many all nighters have you pulled? A lotttt haha

 10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? Woah people express that? no but humans would probably bone all the time.

 11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? Only 2 (technically 3) serious relationships. Many flings.

 12. What is your paradise? I dont have one :(

 13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) Music

 14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? Only 1... maybe 2 soon. (not you hehe.)

 15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? Finding friendships through social media or other platforms. And mhm probably that im a lonely pos

 16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? Because they're pretty. Not really.

 17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? Chew loud.

 18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? Eh, yeah. And I cant think of any pros.

 19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? Piano, saxophone

 20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? No. I stare at it until i hate it.

 21. List 3 things you like about yourself?

 22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? To not give up. As simple as that sounds.

 23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? No. Dont you need to be mentally stable- i would hope so..

 24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? Play games for hours.

 25. When was the last time you felt awkward? Ha. Literally 5 minutes ago.

 26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? Introverted x100000

 27. What constitutes a good friend? Someone who doesnt give up on you amd atleast tries to understand.

 28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? One best friend.

 29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? 'Hey hows your day going'

 30. What is your dream job? Fuck, is this still a question.. to be a homicide detective in the biggest city i can think of.

 31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? Lazy and smart DUH

 32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe?

 33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? What it feels like to GET OFF. DUH.

 34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? Um my own dreams i guess.

 35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. Im not wasting my time describing that.

 36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? Live it up. I think id feel happy honestly.

 37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? Mh. Sell it, their problem now and im rich.

 38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? Current events.

 39. Name the last book you read. Dammed- chuck palahniuk

 40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? No change

 41. When was the last time you made the first move? Um never..

 42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? Trash

 43. What was the last tv show youve watched? Rick and Morty.

 44. Do you like and appreciate your life? I appreciate what i am trying to do.

 45. Do you like and appreciate yourself?

 46. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday

 47. What are you scared of? Heights.

 48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? Um live my life everyday probably.

 49. What are some of your hobbies? .... literally WORSE question. I smoke cigs. Is that a hobby?

 50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make?

 51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? I feel like i am both. I try to be there for them. But also, im so hard to get so i feel like i might come off the wrong way a lot.

 52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? Honestly; nope.

 53. What have you learned the hard way? Not to care what people think. After wasting my whole life. Im starting to realize it doesnt matter.

 54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? Follow your heart

 56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? Both but probably logical.

 57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done?

 58. What is your ideal meal? Fuckk probably so good ass chicken with some gooooood asssssss mac and cheese. As lame as that sounds hahaha.

 59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? 1. Go on date with me

 60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? Yeah and dogs are cute but i love elephants.

 61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? Christmas.

 62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Of courseeeee (;

 63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? Video games.

 64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? Woah you read my mind of sum? Shooter games.

 65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? Bullshit

 66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? No not really and like 5pm nowadays.

 67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? No

 68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? City but i love the countryside

 69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? Mountains

 70. What are the best things about winter? Cold. Even though i hate it. Snow. Even if i dont see it. Trees dying.

 71. What scares you most about the future? Literally everything.

 72. What makes you feel old? Doing nothing.

 73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? Idk like 5.

 74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? Be a better me.

 75. What is your life story in 6 words?

 76. Describe yourself in one word. Awkward.

 77. What bad habits do you do? Smoking

 78. What genre of music do you listen to? everything

 79. Most prominent childhood memory? I would say, but its embarrassing that that's the memory.

 80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? My life would be so different. Maybe i would have someone to talk to.

 81. Spirit animal?

 82. Do you believe in horoscopes? Yes

 83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given?

 84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. 1. Fox 2. Fox 3. Fox

 85. Favorite memory of your family. :/

 86. What do you look for in a relationship? Happiness

 87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? No. I dont need it. But now that i think about it i have one role model.

 88. What is your opinion on social media? Dumb

 89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Pessimest

 90. List some things that you think are overpriced? Food

 91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? ..

 92. What superpower would ruin the world? Any of them

 93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? Exactly what im doing now. Nothing. Giving up. Dropping out

 94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? Dont trust yourself when you know you arent okay. Fight club

 95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? Europe

 96. How do you approach people? I dont but i guess a smile.

 97. What is your opinion on first impressions? I think theyre okay. Only if you dont judge.

 98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? Lol play with imaginary friends

 99. What languages can you speak? English

 100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? Lol hopefully ill be dead bc that shit sounds terrible

 101. What do you do on your lazy days? Play games.

 102. What ended your last relationship? I had enough.

 103. Favorite food? Soul food

 104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? Fuck im not saying.

 105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? Last night

 106. What was the last friendship you broke? My friend Ashley:(

 107. Do you have any pet peeves? Close minded people

 108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? Zack

 109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? Last night

 110. What part of your personality do you want to change? I dont have one.

 111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? My sister Grace.

 112. What is your biggest motivation? My siblings. Faith & Grace.

 113. What did you want to be when you were little? Honestly i never knew.

 114. What are some things that you are good at? Smokin weed

 115. What is one thing you want to be good at? Social skills

 116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? My mind

 117. How important is privacy to you? Eh pretty significant i guess.

 118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? Be friends with everybody.

 119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? Um.. i told my 2nd grade teacher my family died in a car crash.

 120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? I dont go to parties haaha

 121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? have friends and socialize too much like woah calm down you know youre still alone.. right. Like its only you. Hahah jk. But irdk.

 122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? a guy invited me over and ive never done anything sexual before so i pretended like i knew and i hurt his dick like bad. (We didnt have sex)

 123. What is your morning routine? Wake up, wash face, brush teeth, get dressed, and then boom feel sad

 124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering?

 125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? Help

 126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" Being sort of isolated like not opening up. Which is okay bc if they want you they'll wait.

 127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? Cons, you may hurt feelings. Pro, you know yourself and what you want to say congratulations

 128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? Being fake happy.

 129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? Friendzoner

 130. What do you admire most about your friends? How beautiful he is. Inside & out.

 131. What do you admire most about your family? They're still here.

 132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" You may forget where you are trying to go. Or who you are.

 133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? Listening.

 134. When is it time to end a friendship? Idk

 135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? Lol too many.

 136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? Doesnt matter.

 137. What are your favorite baby names? Ive always liked Riley for a girl name and idk havent thought Bout a boys name.

 138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Maybe a week or so ago. Or a few days ago.

 139. What instantly ruins a conversation? Lack of excitement

 140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. Affection. And idk

 143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? God every day.

 147. What do you like about the 21st century? ???

 141. Biggest disappointment. Myself

 142. Do you have any self-restraint? A little.

 144. Prized possession(s)? little things

 145. What is your opinion on second chances? They might seem okay but idk.... depends i guess

 146. Text or call? Both, depends on whom im texting or callin

 148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? Life is hard and stupid but choices you make will stay with you forever so what are you gonna do, follow your heart or head? (head is better hope)

 149. How organized are you? Eh not really anymore.

 150. Favorite mode of transportation. My car

[domesticangel]

2 4 8 13 14 18 22 29 33/34 36 37 40 41 44 48 55 69 76 80 82 94 95 98? Sorry if that's a lot sfhsghsh there were so many to choose from!! U can skip some if u want

SDFHSJKDL NAH DUDE UR SO FINE I APPRECIATE U GIVIN ME SO MANY TO ANSWER !!! 🤠🤙🏻 I’m gonna throw this under a cut just bc. I Talk A Lot

2. is your room messy or clean?

HHHHH i’d say its more on the messy side lmao like its not too awful bad but i am rly bad about having The Chair™ that i pile all my worldly possessions on

4. do you like your name? why?

ive honestly never rly liked it lmao emily was apparently like one of the most popular baby names for girls in ‘97 so from grade school through college ive always been one of like at least 2 or 3 emily’s in each class kjhkjhfkj thats why i mostly prefer to go by emmy

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?

i drive a 2002 ford taurus named tori and she’s my silver babby. she’s a very good car and i plaster her in as many bumper stickers as i can get my hands on

13. any siblings?

ye! one older brother. he’s like a cartoonishly stereotypical stoner but he’s chill so we get along

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

HMMM ive always thought colorado would be nice? i love mountains and i love cold weather and i feel like theres enough cities that id have an ok chance of getting a job in my field. somewhere in scandinavia might also be nice bc once again i like the cold and also ive heard their healthcare slaps

18. favorite tv show?

OOF idk if i could pick one fav but some I’m rly into and find myself rewatching a lot are scrubs, bojack horseman, its always sunny, archer, and dexter

22. do you go to the gym?

i do when I’m on campus just bc my school has a rly nice gym with a good running track but if I’m back home like over breaks and stuff ill just run outside. i sometimes go to the yoga/pilates classes my mom teachers at her local gym but thats about it

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?

HHHHH well. the main thing that came to mind was 3 years ago when i was driving and took a turn too fast and accidentally crashed into the front of a lady’s car….obv i didn’t mean to do it but i definitely was being reckless thinking i could make the turn. i totaled her car (i was driving a mustang at the time and those mfers are built like tanks so only our fender got dented but her entire front end was crushed) but luckily everyone was physically ok. i def learned my lesson about being a dumbass and also don’t fuck w rwd cars anymore lmao…even to this day thinking about how badly i couldve hurt her makes me shudder and i haven’t been in a wreck since

33. favorite actor?

idk if i can pick a fav but dfhjshgkjsdf i rly like samuel l. jackson, jason bateman, and paul rudd

34. favorite actress?

HHHHHHH i love so many actresses it’d probably be impossible to narrow it down but ive been rewatching ahs coven recently and it reminded me how much i love angela bassett and jessica lange 😩❤️

36. favorite movie?

kjghdsgjsk IM SRY IM PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF NARROWING ANYTHING DOWN TO ONE BUT,,, some of my consistent all times favs are the kill bill movies and the kingsman movies

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

i dont tbh i did when i was a kid but i always abandon books halfway through whenever i try nowadays,, i think the last book i read was the kite runner and its definitely one of my favs. i also like p much all of toni morrison’s books but beloved was my fav of hers

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

i think only twice??? once when i was RLY young for something i don’t even remember and again when i was still p young to get my tonsils out lmao

41. top 10 favorite songs

OOF ok favorites are so hard for me but some songs ive loved for a rly long time and always come back to are nightdrive with you (fear of tigers remix) by anoraak, countdown by beyonce, song of the sea by cake bake betty, surrender by cheap trick, bubbly by colbie caillat, ferrari by coyote kisses, that green gentleman by panic! at the disco, nightswimming by R.E.M., if it makes you happy by sheryl crow, and punk rock girl by the dead milkmen

44. what is your biggest fear?

JHDFKJLSHKJSGFK ok this is kinda morbid but like i have this specific fear of someone close to me dying and it depressing me so much that i like, am not able to finish school and pursue my career and i get like totally trapped as a result of grief that sustains itself by constantly reminding me that said dead person would be disappointed in me for quitting. Sweats Loudly

48. who is your role model?

prob my mom tbh which i know is. Cheesy but like. she’s been through so much shit and still came out the other end of it as this unconditionally compassionate and capable person and i just. thats what i wanna be

55. what is your dream job?

honestly this might sound sad but like? literally anything that doesn’t make me wanna die and pays well enough that i can pay my bills and have a little fun on the side?????? obv some kinda art career but as for what specifically I’m rly not picky tbh jfghjhf all i know is that id wanna work for a company as opposed to freelancing

69. do you play an instrument?

nope dkljhfsdjk im not musically talented in any way shape or form

76. what color looks best on you?

black or tie dye, no in between

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?

probably just like? super negative people. like people that go out of their way to find negativity and complain about other things or people and have no desire to look on the bright side or enjoy the little things. like chill dude. we’re all just here to have a good time

82. favorite ice cream flavor?

HMMM i rly love pecan praline ice cream !!!

94. favorite lyrics right now

i honestly rly like the chorus from help yourself by sad brad smith,, “I know you’ll help us when you’re feeling better, and we realize that it might not be for a long, long time, but we’re willing to wait on you, we believe in everything that you can do, if you could only lay down your mind”

it just. makes me Soft. it reminds me of the ppl in my life that believe in me unconditionally and are patient with me and how grateful i am to have them and all the people that i love and believe in too and. Yeah 😩❤️

95. summer or winter?

winter 100% i HATE heat and sweating plus like 90% of my wardrobe is cold weather clothes fdljhksjkdh

98. favorite month?

HMMM probably november? its usually like the transition from fall to winter so you get that really nice crisp fall weather that flows into the super cold hot cocoa weather that i loooooveee

[altbpd]

I have such mixed feelings when it comes to hets and Love Simon and maybe it's because I labeled myself straight until not so long ago (can I say label? IDK. I considered myself straight. I'm not.), but...While they surely can relate to this movie and these characters in some ways, I don't believe they fully understand some situations. Like, I don't think I do either, and here's why: I understand the fear of being outed and I sometimes feel so afraid when I think about what that would mean (1/9)

for me, but also, at the same time, no one knows, no one assumes, no one cares. I have full control over it, and I know some people don’t. So my fear of being outed is pretty much hypothetical. So, yeah, for a het… even as an empath, it’s a stretch to say that you feel the same thing they do if you’re not going through a similar thing… listening is a very important part of the process and some of them (hets) aren’t ready to have an honest dialogue. A lot of them get defensive when they’re called out for some homophobic actions or fetishization… Most of them don’t realize it, or deny it by finding ways to “relate”, finding queer friends both online and in rl, and shipping queer characters. The reason I said I have mixed feelings is that I did originally believe some should stop saying that Love Simon isn’t for straight people… I believe the target audience are queer people. BUT. What queer people should take from this movie is very much different from what straight people should take. This is a movie straight people can learn so much from. They can see on the big screen how some of their behavior can impact queer people around them… it can open their eyes in a way most of the media they consume nowadays can’t. Learning to understand someone’s else’s feelings and looking at things from different perspective other than your own isn’t the same as “I know how that feels” and a lot of people don’t get that.

(sorry, i took A LOT of what you said out because i have just… really bad anxiety about having big things/too many words/too many pictures on my blog, and I didn’t want to end up impulsively deleting it before you were able to see my answer. but i did read it all and am NEVER trying to purposely edit your words or anything it was just gonna drive my anxiety up the wall if i posted it like that, im sorry) my answer is below the cut

I think Love Simon is for everybody. I can’t speak for all, but I definitely think anybody can take something away from it if they want to. I think it’s important for anybody to see that holding somebody’s secret above their head and using it as debt is harmful, hurtful and never gets you what you want.

although I am a gay teen, not out and had to struggle through high school with my parents not knowing my sexuality, I found it hard to relate to simon a lot of the time. I didn’t have/don’t have a lot of what he has. but I still recognize the movie/book’s importance for a lot of viewers, and I still related to things simon struggles with.

what I’m really saying in my post and this answer, is that you can’t… tell other people what to and not to take away from a book or movie. this movie is one of the first lgbt heavily anticipated movies targeted towards teens. people are allowed to be excited about it and just because it doesn’t relate to the majority, doesn’t mean its hype is invalid.

I think what bothers me the most is straight people shutting down/talking over lgbt individuals when they express their opinions. the lgbt community isn’t anti-straight, we don’t hate people because of their sexuality but we do hate hets trying to act like they’re the ones being oppressed because one (1) film wasn’t all about them. they don’t have to be interested, they don’t have to like it. but do not tell lgbt individuals how to feel about a movie targeted towards them or twist the things that make this movie lgbt into something generic that “everybody feels”. 

[tylerwritez]

Saturday, June 19 2021

I dont know how I feel about the day yet cos right now its only 10:13. I dont post these exactly on the days I write them, but I write them on these exact days nonetheless.

My throat still hurts, my ass hurts, oUch,.... I'm sure you know why. Like, when you suck dick, it takes throat strength to make sure you don't fucking vomit everywhere and like. I OBVIOUSLY dont have that strength since I had to wash vomit outta my hair this morning

Hes so hot tho oh. My god.

Whatever. New day. So we talk about new things.

Star seems kinda sad but I dont really know why? She said on her story that people dont really go outta their way to talk to her... idk. I shot a good morning dm and now I'm here. I made my bed. Packed up my shit. Every time we pack things up my parents rage cos they always find shit they dont want to see: monster cans, evidence of my self harm, etc.

We have 1 more week then school is OVER and I move outta this house cos of the divorce. Jay will be gone too... I still have his insta, but I might ask for his number... just in case. I always get weirdly attached to people I fuck even if there was never any romantic part of the relationship. We are just friends.

Apparently we are going to the pick n pack today with my friend let's call her Zara. It's notfar off from her real name but whatever. Basically pick n pack is where you go to a vegetable garden and pick vegetables

I have a test soon but idk if I'll study for it. I NEVER really put work into studying or pay attention in class and I'm holding an 82 average. I got a 39 once, so once I retake that quiz I might be in the 90s. Sorry Mr. Renal, I simply can't bring myself to care about your class 😢

I LOVE my art class tho. It's just doing ART!!!! ART TIME!!!! Art is the best and I would post some of mine but my irls would proabably find me then. Like my name isnt ACTUALLY Jude Shepard. I'm just using it as a penname and also cos that's what they called me in my dream. But other than that everything I tell y'all is real. I'm making buttered toast rn.

3:38 p.m.  sat june 19th

I've decided to include a song recommendation with every entry. Today's recommendation: A Match Into Water by Pierce The Veil

Okay so it turns out we didnt go to pick n pack with Zara. Instead we went to downtown... White Ave. It was sunny n we walked a bit, got lemonades and a bit of candy, went into stores, idk. BUT. The notable part of this is that next to the farmers market there were all the usual activist groups: falun gong, vegan, whatever... but one of them looked like it was a LEFTIST GROUP, possible marxist.

I wanted to talk to them so badly and wanted to see how I could help the cause. See, I'm a communist. AND IM NOT HERE TO DEBATE THAT. I'm here to talk about my days. Anwyays I wanted to talk to them sO BADLY. but my parents wouldn't leave me alone. And like. I hate political discussion with them. They just upset me and they get mad and I CANT AFFORD TO MAKE THEM MAD. I play everything that goes on with me on the Down Low, I dont talk about anything about myself because if I do, I get less freedom in my life. They have control in my life, so I have to appease them. Because of this, I unfortunately did not get to talk to the communists :(

Hopefully they're still there next time... I'm kinda mad >:(

Also Star replied to my good morning text... I told her to have fun shopping since that's what she told me she was gonna do... she just said "thanks" and I was concerned because THATS NOT HOW SHE TYPES? I feel like shes sad over something but i dont know what.

The day me and Jacob did stuff, I was supposed to walk her to her bus stop like I always do. But I didnt (duh) I took Jacob home.

But IT WAS ONE! DAY. And I told her my dad called me over so.... I apologized too and she seemed mad at herself, but in the way that's intended to make you feel bad.

I dont understand her sometimes. I LOVE HER. DON'T GET ME WRONG. I love her so so much shes such a great supportive funny attractive girl! But soemtimes she gets upset and I can never tell why: is it the depression? Is it me? Is it soemthing else entirely? And she'll never tell me.

Whatever, I'll ask her how she is tonight and maybe we can Talk :/

I might never tell her about Jay... :P I might never tell ANYONE about Jay. It's our little secret I guess >:))))))

Man see? I'm no saint. I guess that's what'll make this blog worth reading. I'm a bit conflicted about the whole thing cos I KNOW this is morally not right but. I'm doing it anyways. What can I say? I'm used to lying and hiding things for my benefit. I had to do it to survive and now? Now I do it for funsies.

I'm gonna pack some more stuff, TTYL ♡

UPDATE: we had to go look at houses for the move (since my parents r divorcing) and I didnt get to pack much of anything yet

I'm definently over my cal limit today...

        Cold sweet or carbonated drinks help with my throat pain so I'm downing them like they're NOTHING and since we have no zero  cal cold drinks I'm DEAD... and no, water does NOTHING.

Jeez, its raining out.

And FUCK JAY cos hes still on my mind.

Its 4:11 p.m. now.

Its now 7:56 p.m.

I kinda feel like an edgy main character in an edgy movie rolling up to the park and sitting #alone in the Treez like the emo band music video protagonist I am.

Sometimes its exhausting to talk to people I care about in a serious way or that I talk to in a more sincere manner like Star and Jay and others. Even if they're just friends. If our interactions are serious and not really casual and usually play out like long deep conversation, I feel like to respond to or even read their messages, I need to have like an hour allotted to conversation. Soemtimes I see the messages early and have to pretend I didnt see em cos I dont have internet to respond or time to respond its. Funny. Idk.

Anwyays I'm binging chocolate in a park alone and like. Rotting my fucking teeth OH WELL 🤷🏻‍♂️ whatcha gonna do.

Its 8 now so I should head home. I just biked to the s4ve 0ns to get my dad white choclate but. If I'm going to s4ve 0ns... YOU BET YOUR ASS IM GONNA STE4L SHIT. THAT PLACE IS EASY AS FUCKKK.

Also I'm kinda addicted to sh0pl1fting. The THRILL I get from it is so insane. It's fun! And you get free stuff! I know If i get caught I'm risking a lot. I'm aware. But I dont really care. Every step I take nowadays is risk taking. So why not take more?

I dont care about nonsense therapy. Fuck that.... actually I'll explain why i dont go to therapy for my shit:

1. I cant

2. I don't trust it

Anwyays yeah.

My throat still hurts. Idk, I just like to be in the sun and shit ALONE.

ALONE! It's so funny to me how now I like my time alone but as a kid I'd proabably kill for some positive attention. Well... it's more complex than that, but I wont go into it tonight.

Pls watch me die of diabetes soon from eating all this fucking chocolate.

My parents said to stop drinking monster and I wANT THEM TO TRUST ME so i can go out with my friends... but also I shoulda got monster outta spite. Heart palpitations my ASS.

Tonight I'll be talking to Jay AND Star. At the same time. Which is awkward... Which is MY OWN MESS TO CLEAN UP. I actually accept full responsibility. But also its awkward.

Whatever. I'll sort it out.

My parents arent being as complicated as usual. I guess they're tryna reverse all those years of... emotional neglect i guess? Something.

Something. Which isnt nothing.

But also I think they're guilty over the divorce. Like. Today my dad was like "do u ever feel sad? Blah blah blah... how do u feel rn" and I was like smiling tryna play off his question like it was absurd and I said "uhm idk... *fake laugh* normal?"

THE TRUTH WAS THAT I WAS A BIT CONFUDDLED ABOUT WHAT I WAS GONNA DO REGARDING. LITERALLY CHEATING. ON MY GF. WITH SOME DUDE IN MY ART CLASS. JUST FOR SEX.

But then he was like "this isnt normal." And he looked all sad.  But on my way to the park here, I thought about it a bit more. And actually... it IS normal. The divorce rate is smthn like 60 percent in the states and 40 percent in canada... which is where I live.

Yknow... if my irls find this,,, all I have to say is sorry. Be as mean as you want.

I've already accepted my fate as a degenerate scumbag anyways lol.

Actually... how DO I feel? Hmm... laying in this field.

Urgency.

I have a lot of stuff to do.

Physical pain, but that's not. A FEELING.

I guess anticipation to TALK TO PEOPLE.

Regret from my binge... I better get home.

You know what's so funny to me? I cant purge on my own... but dick makes me vomit. Like the one time I DONT want to throw up, I do. Damn okay.

Well its 8:18 so I'm going home maybe. Soon. For now, I think I'll stay a little longer.

Yknow one thing I didn't expect to be sore was my arms... which I used to prop myself up to... yknow, suck Jay...

I still remember he said: "you're trembling." And I was like FUCK because I thought the trembling was HIM... •_• it's okay though I'll learn to do better.

Idk tho... I feel comfortable with him. Even as nervous as I am and embarrassed to be. Naked. In front of soemone else. And such. He makes me feel comfortable. Look, I did my best, DUH of cOURSE I did my best, I'm the type who will work hard at stuff even if they're getting hurt. I didnt mind honeslty. My goal in that part was just to make him feel good. Equal exchange, yknow? He did the same thing to me.

But like, he can tell when I gag and he tells me not to hurt myself and of course I keep going, I'm not about to SToP. But. I dont kNOW. Him talking to me like that makes me feel a lot safer doing stuff like that you know?

I like when he starts kissing me and touching me like he cant contain himself its almost animalistic and VERY FUCKING HOT

I feel like I talk about him too much but you gotta realize that was my FIRST time

1. Sucking dick

2. having MY junk sucked

3. Having anything put. Inside me. (It was just his finger but stILL)

So yeaH. Of course I'm gonna talk about it. A lot.

He said I was adorable. He said he likes how, when he leans over me, I take in a breath... how he could make me flinch.

THATS HOT ISNT IT.

I feel like I'm getting lost in his charm when I shoULD be tryna fix shit with my girlfriend. She seems sad and I'm worried.

But there isnt much more to say until I DM her tonight...

I really fucked up, didn't I? I totally fucked up and now my brain is all confused. But I have to remember that Jay is only about sex. He would be nice to cuddle, since hes fucking HUGE and I'm kinda on the short side, but he doesnt talk to me out of love. He does it out of lust. And yeah... I really only want sex from him too. But like. Star and I are COMMITTED. We got our feelings wrapped up together. Emotionally and romantically.

So. I should proabably like... stop fucking with Jay. Tell Star what I did. And hope she forgives me. That's the morally correct thing to do.

But like... do I EVER make the morally correct decision? No. Not really. I'm a piece of shit. Whatever. Its highschool anwyays we arent mating for life. IM NOT SAYING WHAT I DID WASNT BAD. IT WAS. VERY BAD.

but I'm gonna keep making bad decisions.

I DO FEEL BAD.... but look. If we're being logical about this and tryna maximize my benefit here,, I should keep Star as my girlfriend and TREAT HER WELL... but with Jay as a fuckbuddy on the side. Hes leaving the school soon anwyays so then we'll hang out less...

That's my plan, anyways.

I KNOW I'm a bad person. I'm aware. But it's just a fact of life.

I'm cheating with my cards here in so many places: stealing, lying, cheating, disobeying my parents, not paying attention in class.. IM KIND OF AN ASSHOLE KID. Idk. It's kinda whatever to me. I'm fucking harry Houdini, okay? I can get out of anyhting. This isnt me being cocky... I have historically gotten out of MANY tight situations, even some that risked my life, and I'm still here. I think I'm a walking lucky charm or SOEMTHING

Welp, we know if gods real I'm going to hell.

I dont really care. Idk. I guess I'm just at that risk taking phase in.my life. That doesnt  justify anything... but it explains it. And it's possible to explain without justifying.

Man,,, I guarantee whoever reads this blog is gonna hate my guts.

Whatever. It's my fucking journal/diary lol.

I can sorta say whatever I'd like.

It's funny because I always thought I was trustworthy and had no commitment issues BUT HEY I GUESS NOT.

I keep telling myself, cut him off, YOU AVE A GIRLFRIEND, FESS UP AND APOLOGIZE... but then I picture his STUPID smirking face and I CANT.

Maybe I am in love double.

Doesnt matter if I am... i still did a bad thing.

DAMN.

Well... I'm headed back home now. 8:41. I'm gonna pack my shit, change, watch youtube,,,, I guess I should check my google classroom and like. do my fucking homework... cos I haven't done it yet.

Then I'll update yall.

11:51 p.m.

Hey guys I'm back with an update.

I talked with both of then... star doesnt seem interested in having an actual conversation,,, shes just talking  about  random bs. Which is fine but I dont rly get what shes saying half the time COS SHES NOT BLUNT ENOUGH. and then the other half shes going on about how much she hates life. Like.

I do love her. We've bonded. I AM concerned about her. But sometimes I feel like she doesn't really try. Like I can talk her down from suicide all I want but everything I say is wrong and cliched and based off my own experience with suicidal thoughts and like... my mentality has always been sorta toxicly masculine. Push through, and push through alone. I CANT ALWAYS HELP! And it makes me feel shitty. Idk. She'll be okay, I know so cos of her story posts and drawings.

I feel bad but I know I can't help much. We talked a little. Idk, we didnt get anywhere. I love her but shes acting in a way that tells me soemthing is wrong but I CANT FIX THAT THING. SO. yeah, theres not much to say. I wish I could take away all her pain but I can't.

I talked to Jay as well... I DONT KNOW WHATS HAPPENING BECAUSE I LIKE HIM SO SO MUCH. SO MUCH. HES LITERALLY PERFECT. sexy, kind and super considerate, he always makes sure I'm comfortable... I dont KNOW,,, hes sweet.

Hes not romantically interested in me. Which is a bit sad. Sometimes I want to tell him "I love you!!!" But then I remember that we are, in his words, friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. Two horny teenage boys who just wanna fuck... and be friends. That's all. That's us. We aren't romantically involved nor will we ever be. I hate how my brain gets so attached to anyone I fuck... especially since I kinda see Jay as an "older brother" figure, which makes no sense until you actually meet him and vibe with him... and like,,, I've always wanted that?

Tommorow I'm gonna ask for him to come over to watch a movie... but idk if I should actually ask because my parents kinda hate me now for fucking up so much. I'll do my homework and clean my room first... which will take up all my time proabably :( it's okay. Maybe some other time :(

I dont want him to lose interest in me though.

.... its 1:56 a.m.

Okay. Okay. I'll say it. I love him.

Goodnight, tumblr.

-Jude

[sept-dix]

high school au! ong  seongwoo

summary: ong is the president of your school’s drama club genre: fluff a/n: please tell me what you think!!! and thank you for reading heh

ong is super popular in your school like almost everyone knows him 

and being the president of your school’s drama club is only part of the reason why

he’s very well known for being very warm and welcoming to everyone without bias, and he never fails to bring up the mood and make people laugh

unlike the other popular kids, it’s obvious that ong is actually genuinely nice and that he sincerely likes the people around him so it’s amazing

anyways so about the drama club

you decided to join the drama club this year because you used to dabble in theatre a while back, and your school’s drama club was known for being really bonded and fun

and you thought it would be fun to join even if just for the experience

during your first few sessions with the club, you already knew that you had made the right choice because everyone was being super friendly and welcoming towards you 

true to the stereotype, everyone was extremely loud and energetic all the time and you loved the atmosphere so much

the first time you got properly introduced to ong was at the end of the first session

usually theatre kids do this thing at the end of each rehearsal/session where they sit together and kind of just talk as a form of debrief

it didn’t necessarily have to be related to the day of rehearsal, it could be about anything anyone had in mind

just because shows are usually a lot better when the cast members themselves have good synergy offstage

so during that debrief session on the first day, ong introduced himself as the president to those of you newcomers 

you had a good impression of him right away because he seemed so nice and he made it clear that anyone could approach him about any problem at any time and he would be there to talk to you about it

and you were like damn. thats nice

anyways club dinners were when you got the chance to actually become close to him

usually when rehearsals ended it was already super late and yall were starving + dinners together as a club is a good way to bond

it just so happened that for the first dinner both of you ended up sitting next to each other 

and damn. you guys hit it off right away

like ong was thinking who is this person who makes so many lame jokes

and you were thinking why is this boy always tryna get attention (you could relate)

when both of you simultaneously dipped your fries into your ice cream it was decided for real

“aren’t we soulmates??1?!”

“yup. no other explanation”

that’s how it all started. from then on you guys just got closer and closer

even on days when you guys weren’t having club dinners both of you would go out on your own for dinner or snacks

for warmups and stuff if y’all were trying out some whacky new activity (as theatre kids do) then ong would call you up to come and demonstrate it with him to the rest of the club

sometimes he would ask you about his president stuff like 

“y/n, do you think our club would appreciate getting matching socks

“should i ask the school to paint our room a darker shade of black or is this shade of black good enough” (because drama rooms are all black on the inside in case you’re confused dksjds)

weird stuff like that and he could always trust you to be as excited as him about this kinda stuff

soon your friendship extended to even outside of club activities

like one day you’re just walking through the school library trying to get a spot to study when you hear whisper screams directed at you

and you turn and see ong frantically gesturing at you to go to him

“are you good at history”

“uh... idk i guess”

“plS HELP!!! i have a test tmr and i know nothing”

so you end up tutoring him all afternoon and in return he tries to teach you math

you guys go out for ice cream later and challenge each other to who can eat theirs the fastest

you two are dying of brainfreeze and laughter by the end of it but it’s fun

in fact everything’s fun when it’s the two of you because as corny as it sounds you guys literally complete each other’s sentences

like he knows the punchline to your joke before you even finish it

so this means that soon enough you guys are doing everything together

 like a new movie comes out? you’re already thinking about when ong is free to go watch bc you know he’ll have the same reactions as you to the movie

ong is dying in a class and needs some rescue? you’re the one he calls to somehow get him out of it bc he knows you would support him skipping class 

tbh ong has a lot of commitments as the president of the drama club but he somehow always makes time for you

now and then you hear people talking about you like “isn’t y/n the person ong is always with nowadays?” but usually people don’t say bad things about you guys because remember everybody loves ong

soon enough, as how it always is when two people spend lots of time with each other and have great chemistry, people start suspecting that you two are together

like even your other best friends are like “y/n is there something you’re not telling us about this ong guy”

and it cracks you up bc wtf ong is a total BRO

but suddenly rumours start flying around school that you two are a thing and soon it grows from a speculation to like a thing.

you and ong being a thing is a thing now. people start assuming you’re together and sometimes they just treat you like a couple

you just ignore it but there’s this one time

your club is having a script reading for an upcoming show

(just an initial script reading with no fixed cast members yet)

the entire play is centred around a couple

ong gets assigned to read the parts of the male lead by the instructor bc lbr as a president he is one of the best actors there

then the instructor goes “hmm... for the female lead, perhaps... y/n?”

and you’re like wow ok well sure

ofc the script has you and ong say some romancey lovey dovey things to each other bc duh you’re acting as a couple

but after the whole reading is done the instructor goes “wow seongwoo and y/n you guys have good chemistry!” 

and cue the teasing from the rest of your club for the rest of the night

that day you guys go out for a club dinner and everyone else just spends the whole time teasing you two

before you could say anything one of them tells ong “dude if you guys are together you should just come clean and tell us!!!!” and everyone starts pressuring you two to just tell them that they’re right

in your mind you’re thinking why isn’t ong replying to them and you look at him

and he just looks at you and kinda laughs it off

without being outright and saying that you guys were just friends

and suddenly you have a weird feeling in your tummy and you’re thinking wtf why don’t i wanna tell them the truth either

why do u think u fool

but you, my friend, are someone who is very in touch with their emotions. you do none of this denying your feelings bs that others do

so from that moment of hesitation, you knew. 

and you admitted it to yourself right away that ong is more than just a friend to you

you didn’t know when or how it happened, but it had happened. 

but after that things got a little awkward for you because you didn’t know how to handle the rumours anymore

like once you accepted your feelings your crush on ong became a full fledged one and the fact that ong wasn’t denying the rumours either was making you feel skdjfksdjfs

spending time with him now also became more complicated because suddenly you were aware of everything he was doing and saying and there was this layer of tension to you guys 

not a bad type of tension though, and maybe only you could feel it, but it was making things less fun

and you being the fun lover you were hated that

one day you and ong had just ended a study session and were heading home

you two lived pretty close together so you walked the same route home

there’s a swingset at a playground in that neighbourhood and sometimes you two swing there on the way home

just for fun

so that day was no different

ong was like “hey you wanna go on the swings”

and you’re like yeah ofc and you two start swinging

the thing is, usually you two are super loud and excited like kids and you usually make bets on like who can swing higher or who can swing the longest standing up

but today you guys were just kinda swinging slowly and there was an unusual silence between you two

when you turned to look at ong he was already looking at you, but he seemed like he was deep in thought

and in that moment you decided to just woman up and clean up the mess

“ong, why don’t you ever straight up tell others the truth about us?”

and he just looks at you a little surprised

and you’re like “what?”

and after a few seconds he’s like “are you kidding me? you really don’t know?”

he looks lowkey offended and you’re super confused

(why are you so dense smh)

you just shake you head slowly and go “what are you talking about is there something i should know”

and he just kinda looks at you in disbelief for a second before looking down at his lap

“because i want them to be true”

he’s kinda mumbling and you’re not sure you heard right so you’re like “im sorry what”

your heart is beating super duper fast 

and he looks up at you with this expression on his face

“i know this is kind of a weird way to confess, i was going to do it some other way but i guess since you’re asking... i never refuted the rumours because i wanted them to be true”

and you’re like oh my lord wtf is this real

you: “oh... well... to be honest,, me too”

now it’s your turn to shyly look at your lap

shame you did that because now you missed the smile that blossomed on ong’s face hearing that

“so you’ll go out with me?”

and you can’t muster up any of your usual confidence at that moment just because of the look on ong’s face that’s full of adoration and hope

so you just shyly nod

and that was that. the rest is history

many years later you guys would fondly look back at the old rusty swingset at the tiny playground near your houses as the place where you two shared an awkward confession and a sweet first kiss

[beneathtreemomo]

*Tackle hugs* WHAT UP, Im here for the marine life asks-Orca, Narwhal, Seahorse! (the names are so cute hdbdj SEAHORSES ARE CUTE)

YAY HIAs there is no attached OC I’m gonna guess these are for me ;) and right!? Ocean Creature names are the cutest-- THERE’S A CREATURE CALLED A CUDDLEFISH AND IT’S SO CUTE

ORCA: Are you an easy-to-scare person? what scares you the most?          I am, in fact, incredibly easy to scare, depending on how you define scare. My dad and my best friend have both full on made me jump five feet in the air with a real, guttural scream but only twice total, my dad startles me constantly because even though he’s a heavy dude you can’t hear his footsteps, and I have been creeped out by my Halloween decorations on more than one occasion due to when I’d have to wake up for school (we have some creepy decorations, ok? I’ll show pics some time xD)          What scares me the most? Mmm probably the feeling of eyes on my back and whatever lurks in the dark. I love the dark and whatever’s inside it a lot but I need to have as many lights on as possible if I’m by myself and hate being outside at 3am when CiCi decides “yeah, this is the optimal time to pee” because it just doesn’t feel safe, y’know? It’s creepy. Ironically even when I was literally scared of the dark as a kid and needed a nightlight, I could handle passing dark rooms. Now I have to run past the openings as quick as possible, but don’t mind sleeping in the dark xD

Narwhal: what is your favorite literary genre? why?          Fantasy, hands down!          I just adore the worlds that get created and supernatural, not-horror-related, stories are my absolute bread and butter! It just makes stories fun and interesting-- especially detective stories because you don’t know if it was a vampire’s doing or some serial killer trying to frame vampires and it’s just. It’s nice. Plus, sometimes you get free reign over a lot more than you would a real life/modern setting.          There’s probably a lot more I could say, but it’s actually really hard for me to find the words? There’s just something about a fantasy story, be it magic, soulmates, supernatural, or a completely new world entirely that I really enjoy seeing in my head and reading along with.           Funnily enough, I am not that huge a fan of the “classics” (I say classics because they seem to be the top fantasy authors people think of nowadays) like Tolkien and JKR’s works. Movies? Sure, I’ll watch ‘em. Books? Tried them, didn’t like them. Rick Riordan on the other hand? LOVE THE BOOKS SO MUCH and I’m sad I don’t have more of them.

(this last bit is pretty long, so it’s going under “keep reading”)

Seahorse: which is your favorite memory ever?           Aw man, this one’s hard. I have a lot of good memories, and my favorite memory tends to switch depending on which memories come to mind at the time. And I know there’s a really special one hidden somewhere in my brain that trumps all of them, because I remember thinking at the time that it was the best moment of my life, but I’m almost constantly unable to recall what it was.          So instead, off the top of my head, my favorite memory might be when my dad, our dog CoCo, and I went on one of our first summer road trips. I was either 8 or 9 at the time (actually, probably a bit older because my dad finally decided to take my door off the jeep as well, so I was probably closer to 11/12), and we were on the way to Yellowstone. We stopped at plenty of cool places along the way; Mount Rushmore, Crazy Horse Memorial (at the time it was practically just his head), that one place with all the Red Rocks in Utah, this little shop run by native americans who had GORGEOUS wares-- I got some hair clippies and a bookmark, and we talked with them for about an hour, at least! I think dad got something too but I can’t remember what.          Anyway, while most of the places we went to allowed pets, there were some places that didn’t-- like restaurants. What we’d do in these scenarios is park as close as we could to the place, and then ask for a window seat where Dad could keep an eye on the car and CoCo.          Something you should know about CoCo: She was a pretty laid back dachshund who adored car rides and sun bathing about 3000x more than she enjoyed food. She didn’t mind us leaving the car, didn’t try to follow us (though she did always try to keep us in sight for as long as possible), and the second we left she’d claim one of our seats for herself and just relax.           BUT she’d also protect the car, which, in the summer, was basically just the skeleton (or in its swimsuit, I suppose): no doors and no roof except a bikini top.            So we’re sitting in the restaurant, right? Waiting for our food, the car directly across from us next to the sidewalk (we’re also pretty close to the door). CoCo’s lazing in my seat, the picture of perfect, sunbathing bliss with a huge grin on her face. And she’s a small dog, so you wouldn’t really expect her to be scary in anyway-- maybe she’d even look old to you at the time, because Dapples were rare at the time, some of her light brown was already turning grey, and she had mange that refused to go away so she had some bald spots.           And there’s this teen boy and either his parents or a friend (I don’t remember which) walking by; and for whatever reason, this kid had either forgotten or never been taught the number one rule: Do Not Touch the dog unless the owner says it’s ok.          We can see it in his eyes/body language as they’re getting closer to the car. Dad and I are both quietly betting on what’s going to happen (I swear we were like Golf Commentators/Announcers) and also getting ready to run out if needed. Even CoCo can see what this dude is thinking, which is “I want to pet the dog”          He slows down as he gets to the car, doesn’t even look around to see if the owners are nearby, and CoCo’s followed him with her eyes since these guys got close enough, but hasn’t actually moved. She’s still lounging on the seat, panting and content, looking for all the world like she’s totally okay with all of this.          He reaches out to pet her when BAM! CoCo leaps to her feet, barking up a storm and startling the guy so much he almost trips; Dad and I burst into laughter. The dude’s friend/parents say something to him I think, maybe an “I told you so”, idk, and he’s walking away trying to act all casual. CoCo finishes barking once they’re a slab of sidewalk or two away from the jeep, wags her tail happily, and then just flops back down like none of the interaction happened.          Looking back on it I kinda feel a little bad for the dude (i think he was pretty embarrassed) but it was one of the most hilarious things to ever happen to me, so it’s definitely a fav.           A very close second is when we woke up freezing in our tent because CoCo literally stole all the blankets/sheets and made herself the eye of a blanket hurricane, and another situation tied for very close second happened a few months after this trip: CoCo apparently didn’t think we were coming to the door fast enough so she howled to get our attention even though I was right there. Literally howled. The Yellowstone wolves must’ve taught her that! The entire house froze when she did it, too xD (Mom and dad, from different places in the house after a minute of pure silence: “What the heck was that?!”)           CoCo had never looked more proud.

[lesbiansforandrew]

Ok so @pinkislouder, @loveloveolivia and @teamnouis tagged me in this and i love you all very much ♥️ (I'm doing this on my phone bc obviously my laptop just died rip so sorry if it looks shit) Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag! THE LAST… 
1. Drink: fanta i think, i didnt want to but there was nothing else 2. Phone call: at work probably but thats boring so i think it was floor yesterday 3. Text message: the niall larries gc about elk her drama its hilarious 4. Song you listened to: cold (sak noel remix) - maroon 5 5. Time you cried: Lmao last night, when i had this one hour breakdown. It was ugly HAVE YOU EVER… 
6. Dated someone twice: I have never dated in my LIFE 7. Been cheated on: gonna take the same answer as amber, my friends yes 8. Kissed someone and regretted it: more like not kissing someone and regretting it 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: ha, very much 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: enough times for sure LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS: 12. soft pink 13. dark green 14. bordeaux red IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 
15. Made new friends: definitely online and outside of the interwebs 16. Fallen out of love: cant say i've ever been in love so, no 17. Laughed until you cried: too many times to count 18. Found out someone was talking about you: oh :) enough times :) 19. Met someone who changed you: i guess, but in a good way 20. Found out who your true friends are: definitely 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yup for sure 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like 95% 23. Do you have any pets: not anymore :( i have cacti now :) 24. Do you want to change your name: nah i'm the only female cornetto in this family and will stay that way until i die 25. What did you do for your last birthday: basically same story as amber, went to our favorite bar, got free shots from our favorite bartender, got shitfaced, oh and in the morning floor was there and we hung around with my family 26. What time did you wake up: 5:15am bc work rip 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: probably reading fic and telling myself to go the heck to sleep 28. Name something you cannot wait for: to meet @rogueandeskimo and see harry tbh 29. When was the last time you saw your mother: uhhh i think its been 3 weeks already idk 30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Move the fuck out and get myself away from this toxic ass family 31. What are you listening to right now: my neighbours outside, its amusing 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I actually had a crush on a boy named tom when i was like 6/7 didnt work out, LUCKILY 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: the fact that my laptop jUST DIED and like lets not go deeper into this 34. Most visited website: Tumblr and twitter, a surprise 35. Elementary: it was good, it was weird but a good kind, very carefree 36. High School: the best and worst time of my life, no exaggeration 37. College/university: college was good, learned a lot about myself very important 38. Hair colour: orange, ginger whatever you wanna call it nowadays 39. Long or short hair: shoulder length 40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes if niall counts 41. What do you like about yourself: Not much atm but i guess i kinda look ok sometimes and i can be funny at the right moment 42. Piercings: nope 43. Blood type: wouldnt know if my life depended on it (ha medical jokes) 44. Nickname: my last name, cornetto, ams, am, ginger, theres more on this list 45. Relationship status: couldnt be more single 46. Zodiac sign: capricorn 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favourite TV show: gilmore girls, grey's anatomy, orphan black, friends, jessica jones 49. Tattoos: none yet 50. Right or left hand: right FIRST… 
51. Surgery: never had one, did break a lot of bones tho so i walked around with a cast every other 6 weeks 52. Piercing: none 54. Sport: Handball, did it for atleast 7/8 years before i quit, still love that sport to bits. Loved swimming also, was very good at it but like never did competitions 55. Vacation: my parents took me somewhere to germany as i remember but i also remember going to disneyland paris bc my aunt and uncle just got married and i was their braidsmaid at the age of 4 i dont remember which one happend first 56. Pair of trainers: probably some vintage ass shoes my mom found, they were red tho i think 57. Eating: my dinner, it was a salad. My brother left me some chocolate tho so i'll probably eat that in a bit bc well i had a salad for dinner what do you expect 58. Drinking: nothing 59. I’m about to: sleep probably 60. Listening to: not sure yet, maybe harrys album maybe mitam maybe my summer playlist 61. Waiting for: good things to finally fucking happen 62. Want: to be in greece right now thank 63. Get married: Maybe one day, if i find the right person 64. Career: all i've been thinking since dropping out is how much i want to have my own b&b somewhere on the countryside in england, beautiful perfect YOUR TYPE… 
65. Hugs or kisses: I havent kissed anyone in ages jesus but i'm also a very big cuddler, no one really knows this about me i guess but i love it so i'm gonna say hugs 66. Lips or eyes: Lips fascinate me IM SORRY I KNOW ITS WEIRD dont ask lets move on 67. Shorter or taller: shorter but i dont mind anyone having the same hight as me, i dont even mind anyone taller but that doesnt happen much anyway 68. Older or younger: i prefer older but doesnt matter much actually 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: this is a stupid question it doesnt fucking matter 71. Sensitive or loud: loud for sure, love what amber said. Give me someone like louis 72. Hook up or relationship: atm i dont care but i'm definitely a relationship person 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker, bc i can be quite hesitant eventho im very adventurous HAVE YOU EVER… 
74. Kissed a stranger?: i .. have not 75. Drank hard liquor?: sure enough 76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: only a couple sunglasses 77. Turned someone down: godsjs enough times 78. Sex on first date: not sure if you can count it a date and we already knew eachother for years but anyway yes 79. Broken someone’s heart: idk probably 80. Had your heart broken: ohhh yeah 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: hahahah :) DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 
84. Yourself: I'm trying my friends 85. Miracles: I'm not sure i believe in miracles i do believe that some things happen because thats how they were supposed to be 86. Love at first sight: I dont, as amber said attraction at first sight, yes definitely 87. Santa Claus: Uh duhh, havent you watched his movies?! He's out there 88. Kiss on the first date: how can you not believe in this???? I believe in this the MOST 89. Angels: harry and louis literally exist how the FUCK can you not believe in angels OTHER… 
90. Current best friend’s name: (i HATE US but same as amber AGAIN) i dont call one person my bestfriend anymore, i have a small circle of bestfriends 91. Eye colour: green/greyish i guess 92. Favourite movie: 10 things i hate about you, clueless, the batman trilogy, catws Soooooo this took me longer than i planned, anyway lets tag @hunkyniall @yslsaint @givelarryachonce @actualhumansunshine @nowayoutalongwaydown @iicfhome @celestineal @bananasnouis @loveableirishman @peppyniall @bus1pride i want to get to know y'all, if you dont want to do this trust me i get it dont worry xxx

[maeimekko]

GET TO KNOW ME TAG

i was tagged by @dolcetae ty so much for tagging me love !!!!ilu RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST: 1. drink: !chocolate soy milk! the best drink you can have 10/10 2. phone call: my mom 3. text message: my grandma 4. song you listened to: agenda by Justine Skye 5. time you cried: idk about a week ago??? 6. dated someone twice: this ho has never dated im alone 7. kissed someone and regretted it: i regret nothing 8. been cheated on: nope 9. lost someone special: um yes my friend moved away and we just kinda slowly stopped talking to eachother:( 10. been depressed: not really 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: never to the point of throwing up so ummmm

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14. light blue, burnt orange and red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: yepp 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: many times 18. found out someone was talking about you:you mean talking shit? if so yes:)) 19. met someone who changed you: idk... not drastically 20. found out who your friends are: actually yeah 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: i dont have facebook  so

GENERAL: 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: ^^ 23. do you have any pets: yesss two cats a fat one and a small babycat 24. do you want to change your name: i love my first name but i wanna change my last name tho its really generic 25. what did you do for your last birthday: went to gymnastics practise n just had a normal day... lame 26. what time did you wake up: ummm 9:45?? idk 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: playing seven of clubs with my grandparents and sister 28. name something you can not wait for: going on a roadtrip with my friends this summer 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like 5 minutes ago 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life:i wanna have exciting clothes and a cool style and a neat instagram and just be a cool chill gal but im boring and look like a wheat bun 31. what are you listening to right now: airplanes and my mom n dad talking in the livingroom with the tv on  32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: dont think so 33. something that is getting on your nerves:umm nothng really 34. most visited website: tumblr + youtube 35-37. ?? i guess these are gone lol ?? 38. hair color: dark blone with peach/pinkish tips 39. long or short hair: both look banging but long hair for me... i look like a 5 year old with short hair...... but i mean i literally am five so 40. do you have a crush on someone: kinda? idk my feelings are mixed:// 41. what do you like about yourself: im not afraid to express my opinions and am very well spoken (aka too loud stfu tilda) also i have nice lips  42. piercings: i had my ears pierced a while ago but i was lazy and they grew shut 43. blood type: A+ 44. nickname: when i was little people used to call me tintti but nowadays i just go with Tilda 45. relationship status: single 46. zodiac: scorpio  47.pronouns: she/her 48. favorite tv show: pushing daisies!!!!!!! i love it so much lee pace is amazing if you havent watvhed pd then GO WATCH IT also i love steven universe 49. tattoos: nope but i want two violets on my inner arm 50. right or left handed: right 51. surgery: none 52. piercing: not anymore 53. sport: gymnastics,, ive been doing agg for over 10 years now google it ALSO i love dancing and yoga n stuff like that i hate ballgames 54. vacation: ive only travelled inside europe (italy, france, portugal etc) but id love to go to japan or the us mmmm a girl can dream 55. pair of trainers: my worn out old pink nikes

MORE GENERAL: 56. eating:forreal i just ate some cherry tomatoes damn 57. drinking: either soy milk or water 58. im about to: go to sleepppp  but this is taking so long 59. waiting for:sleep sleeping dreams bedtime snoozing siesta slumberland 60. want: nice clothes and love 61. get married: maybe someday 62. career: tf um no uh umm mm 

WHICH IS BETTER: 63. hugs or kisses: huggies 64. lips or eyes: eyes 65. shorter or taller: i wanna be shorter than my so but i love to be taller than my friends that way i can scoop them up n rest my head on theirs 66. older or younger:dont really care 67. nice arms or nice stomach: stomach! 68. hookup or relationship: relationship? i wouldnt know 69. troublemaker or hesitant: a good inbetween

HAVE YOU EVER: 70. kissed a stranger: no 71. drank hard liquor: yes 72. lost glasses/contact lenses: i dont have glasses 73. turned someone down: yepep 74: sex on the first date: well nope 75. broken someone’s heart:..... i dont think so? 76. had your heart broken: not really 77. been arrested: no 78: cried when someone died: yes 79. fallen for a friend: no?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 80. yourself: sometimes 81. miracles: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm no 82. love at first sight: hck to the no 83. santa claus: yes  im five 🎅🏼 84. kiss on the first date: sure why not 85. angels: idk sure coolcool

OTHER: 90. current best friend’s name:i dont really have ONE best friend 91: eye color: grey blue 92: favorite movie: road to el dorado true masterpiece

im writing t his half asleep so whatever this took like 1000 years ughgh im not tagging 20 people i wanna go t sleep 

anyways taggin my pals : @8boo @hoe4jimin @lqhani @11pristin @jackismyson @hoejisoo 

[perfectionistincrisis]

Day 81

i keep talking to myself all the time - no not cause im mad or alone - but like i said earlier - i pretend like its ‘him’ and just him. meaning, no, im not those people who talk to themselves cause they enjoy doing it, or like um neither those who talk to themselves cause they dont have anyone else to talk to - but rather, -i-just-talk-to-him-

wow, no that was a nice way to put it out there. so much for defending myself lol

ok so im kinda energetic - as in -my mood is- i am not, physically energetic though. i mean i just spent the last hour and a half in bed scrolling through my phone until my phone shut off cause it ran out of charge and only then i dragged myself slowly to the washroom to pee which i shouldve done 60 minutes ago. so yeah - very lazy 

speaking of time. WTH is going on with this world? i feel like the number of seconds in one minute is a subject to small rise and falls like the world currencies! I mean seriously, i swear nowadays “1 minute” = “EIGHTY seconds” No Kidding!!!! It all started from after fajr today!!!!! 

yeah so after fajr today, at first i kind of blanked out - as in - that rush, impatience and i dont even know how to describe it - kinda feeling i was telling? about missing him and all that? like i need some action something to happen and wow this is such an off season - so yeah i was kind of stuck in my chair,, just switching from one social media to another doing nothing literally other than idk - trying to fast forward life and hit play somewhere cool ugh ok

so then something happened and it cheered me up and i got on the treadmill as was planned. usually do 3 hours but i knew doing 3 now, including my tiny 3-5 min breaks every 30 mins would take too long 

anyways ended up doing two hours at around 7 30 and then was too tired to take a shower so i just pulled a bed sheet from my closet and slept on the floor, cause no way im putting my stinky body to bed. 

when i got up, prayed zuhr and YESSS i did the one hour i skipped in the morning and yeah well thats pretty much it for the day. i mean then i sat and ate and then went to the hosp came back, chilled and still chilling right now as im typing :) 

oh something i said yesterday about how i wish life was full of action like in movies. like i just wish it was although i know its BS thats totally against how this life works. whats more surprising is how i actually wish for stupid stuff - i mean you know how on social media - one gets to present themselves the way they want. i mean you can be anything. happy sad widow married depressed gay - its like - its in your hands - how do you want to present yourself to the world mam? yeah you get my point? but like i lot of people fall for it. you look into others posts and you might wonder how their life is so wonderful and yours is not, how someones life is picture perfect and yours is not and BLABLABLA but Lol - i neverrrrr fell for that. pretty much cause i sugar coat my life too loool 

Its actually funny - im actually laughing - anyways where im getting at with this is - i was thinking about it - i mean for someone like me who never fell for all the crap people put up on display on social media - i sure am one hell of a dreamer to ‘wish’ for a busy ‘movie-like’ all colorful life. But then again in my defense - those are real people and people are full of crap so yeah i dont fall for their shit but i mean a movie is a well organised script being played out - ofcourse you ‘wishing’ for something like it is acceptable yasss (whatever makes you sleep at night:3 ) 

Also i assure you my vocabulary aint that poor, i just seem to lose my words when im posting anything here. mostly cause i have no words - everything is so messy and twisty and complicated Ugh 

Also its really weird that i feel like a days just passed by too fast this week. i mean i mustve slipped. i mean im like a human clock. lol i mean it. i mean when im not on vacation - and you ask me the time, anytime - my guesses are so close to accurate - like im aware of every second ticking by - now, im just saying im aware of it - that doesnt really mean i make the most out of time - but then i do know how precious it is, and i do feel like crap when im just shitting it away. and just randomly wasting time is one thing, but trust me when you are aware youre doing shit - ouch that burns! 

so august is coming, and i was kind of planning on fasting - i mean i didnt fast in july cause i wanted to get used to working out and fasting would just be disturbing. but yeah now its almost august and i think i should fast - for like the whole month - yeah :) cause i barely fasted for i think 8 days this Ramadan i need to make all the rest of it up. AND THEN AFTER THAT, it is sunnah but not one im actually brave enough to do to be honest but but but i think i have no choice - i mean i think i have to fast like every monday or thursday every week - cause i have a lot and a lot of fasting to do to make up for ALLLLL the ones i missed my entire life and trust me thats quite a lot - not the normal amount any girl would miss - cause ive been having problems and so i had to skip a lot and stuff - and i never kept an exact count - well actually its impossible cause its been a problem for years but then i do have to admit that i never tried either - cause idk- i guess i kind of took it as - oh cmon its just fasting - i mean i think i missed around 20 roughly - so ill just fast 30 - thatll cover it up plus ill fast extra - which is a good thing and blabla all that random thoughts! 

anyways i should now just focus on the 30 i wna fast for this year, in august but idk i have to come up with some legit plan where my work out schedule fits in perfectly too. both  are important to me, and im not choosing one over the other, i dont want to and i dont have to inshaAllah 

oh just a random thing - but i go for brands! Meaning, you know if something is sold by a really well known brand youd obviously expect it to have good quality and most of the time yes youre right. sometimes, nope! but then there are things which are not “branded” but the quality is amazing, and the price? well most of the time it is cheaper, but yeah i guess sometimes the price is almost similar - well the thing is - i am the type of person - whod want the brand name on PLUS the quality. like if there were 2 bags for example or two shoes, SAME quality, but one is cheaper ONLY cause it does not have a famous brand name on it - i am definitely the person whod pay wayyyy wayyy more for the branded one! - SO now you know the type of person i am :) :) :) :) 

Lol im sure that kind of information is something a lot of people would use to judge someone :3 But then im not all so irrational loool - like thats definitely something that is “goals” for me! I mean, i am a medical student being financially supported by my dad right now and will be for atleast the next 3 years. ATLEAST! ATLEAST! ATLEAST! 

SO yeah im not saying i cant afford branded products right now but i sure am not comfortable living a life of luxury at this phase of my life. I want to earn it. With my own sweat and energy. I want to tell myself that i deserve it. So yeah, thats the type of person i am but im not currently ‘practicing’ it like religion and one day IF i do, i know it will be something i earned and something Allah will not be unhappy with, because I am not planning to disappoint Him 

Okay enough with that. i really dont need to talk about it as long as i know ill be alright inshaAllah 

Oh something really interesting - so i REALLY REALLY need to smile. like NOT “smile more” but like “SMILE” for gods sake hahhaha. I mean idk - its like i hate people so much and idk i feel like everyone for some reason is turning against me or doesnt like me, and its not like i even care or want them to like me and thats exactly why im like all -pokerface-pokerface- but like cmooooon! if youre really talking to someone, something as simple as a short interaction in the hospital for example with the receptionist or pharmacist - i mean cmoon - just smile a little? i mean i REALLY need to work on it. cause if i am planning on being a doctor - OH PLEASE - smiling is part of the job OH WAKE UP LADYYY!!!!!!! 

but like im not kidding - like i just said - i feel like everyone for some reason is turning against me or doesnt like me. and ofcourse its not true, i mean MOST people dont even know me. like in the hospital i went to today for example - whyd everyone hate me? :) i mean idk its just something i feel. its weird. but sheeeeeet. have to work on it. fake a smile honey :) 

Okay and idk how wrong or right it is. but i thought of it and i dont feel like there is any harm to it. Like, id like to have the idea in my head that me and him, we love each other and we are meant to be together one day. inshaAllah. For which i always and always pray to Him and ask from Him. But as of right now, we are not together. but deep deep deeeeep deeeeeeeeeep deeeeeeeeeeeeeep and deeeeeeeeeeep’errr in my heart i keep telling myself that. We are.

now idk if its wrong, or right - but - i believe it is not making me do something which might anger my Lord.  All what it does is calm my heart. a little. And so i guess its okay! At least for now, i cant let go of the idea. Not today <3  Tada, guess thats enough for today! 

xox

[neurotransferral]

Thank you to the lovely @tylerjosephsheavydirtysoul​  for tagging me!

Rules: answer all the questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions.

1.      Coke or pepsi: Coke

2.      Disney or dreamworks: Disney for me, but dreamworks has UP and that owns my heart!

3.      Coffee or tea: Tea always !

4.      Books or Movies: Books are better than the movies because its such a personal fantasy when you’re attached to the characters and you have your own interpretation for the word the authors created, but I probably watch more movies for plot and read for poetry so both?

5.      Windows or Mac: Windows, I’ve never used a mac OOOPPS

6.      DC or Marvel: I generally prefer Marvel superheroes  tbh but Im not a huge comics / superheroes person so idk if im educated enough to ‘really’ give my opinion.

7.      Xbox or Playstation: Playstation always

8.      Dragon age or mass effect: neither

9.      Night owl or early riser: both ? depends on my health and mood

10.   Cards or chess: Cards to play spoons haha

11.   Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate always always always except in cake vanilla cake is heaven or MARBLE cake that is gr8

12.   Vans or converse: Vans are my loves for lyfeeeee

13.   Lavallan, Trevlyan, Cadash, or Adaar: idk what this is

14.   Fluff or angst: angst and fluff together if that makes sense

15.   Beach or forest: Forests so I can sit in silence

16.   Dogs or cats: BIRDS over everything bc I love my smol babies and they would be very offended if I picked any animal over them

17.   Clear skies or rain: Rain when Im inside , clear skies when Im outside (ooops I suck)

18.   Cooking or eating out: Eating out through take-out though! I h8 having to eat at restaurants tbh

19.   Spicy food or mild food: Spicy Always , if somethings mild I just fill it with peri peri tbh

20.   Halloseen/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: Im not sure

21.   Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: A little too cold because Im always cold so it’d be no different

22.   If you could have a superpower, what would it be: Read minds, because Its always been a fascination of mines to see how others think compared to myself or teleport !

23.   Animation or live action: I love both but if an animation is well articulated it will probably hold a dearer place in my heart than a similar live action would

24.   Paragon or renegade: IDK

25.   Baths or showers: Showers always . I brought a bath bomb and I still haven’t used it because I love to shower so much

26.   Team Cap or Team Ironman: ironman!

27.   Fantasy or sci-fi: Fantasy, unless its Jurassic Park!

28.   Do you have three or four favorite quotes, if so what are they:   

“I’m scared to get close, I hate being alone, I long for that feeling to not feel at all” - Can you feel my heart - no one understand what this lyric means to me-

Other than that I have a lot but I just dont feel like sharing them :)

29.   Youtube or Netflix: This is hard, but Youtube!

30.   Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: UGH Hard, ! Harry Potter because I love the plot more, but the new spin off PJ series I loved a lot more than the original

31.   When you feel accomplished: passing a hard course, eating properly for a day, helping someone smile

32.   Star Wars or Star Trek: I haven’t watched either but my dad loves star trek so thats what i’ll go with

33.   Paperback books or hardback books: no preference

34.   Horror or rom-com: Rom-com always! A walk to remember has my heart 5eva

35.   To live in a world without literature or music: I cant both have  helped me and continue to help me. and without them I don’t know what I’d do

36.   Pastel colors or dark colors: I prefer to wear darker colours but love looking at pastel ones to

37.   Tv shows or movies: TV shows usually! bc I definitely dont have the patience for movies, so I watch them in intervals

38.   City or countryside: Suburbs :)

39.   If any other zodiac sign could describe you, what would it be: im not sure maybe leo? (i hope)

40.   If you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life what would it be: Collide with the Sky by Pierce the Veil hands down though Sempiternal comes so close and nowadays Vessel is coming close as well

41.   Cinema or theatre: Is there  a difference? but cinema I guess

42.   If you could be any fictional character’s best friend, who’d you be: Batmans robin :) or Harry Potter’s Ron haha I’ve always wanted red hair

43.   Smiling or smirking: Smiling always!!

44.   Do you collect anything: idk, lyrics? like I love keeping the ones that mean alot to me close and recording or jotting them down if I can! I used to do that a lot until I just didnt

45: What is something you always forget exists until you see it and are surprised?

Drunk History of Fall Out Boy told by Beebo, and the fact that Pete was actually having a tattoo done while the vid was being recorded

46: The arts or sports? Any form of art,!!! but soccer will always have my heart and it has helped me through some times as much as music and literature

47. What is a pet peeve of yours?  - loud chewing for me

haha there is no way I could tag 47 peeps, but I’ll tag some lovelies :) Ps . You dont have to do this if you dont want , no pressure

I tag: 

@joshdunsjudge @casualaffaire @sunnyryden @frnkierosociety @yzydenis

[whambamthankyoubram]

ALL OF THEM IM A NOSEY BITCH

YOU ALWAYS DO THIS

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? MORE CEREAL THAN MILK OBVIOUSLY I’M NOT SATAN

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? No bc my cheeks are cold as hell and I need warmth

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? I fold the corners or put little mailings/postcards in them, whatever I have laying around!

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Tea, nothing; coffee, milk only!

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes :( There’s a gap in my teeth and I hate it. I wish my teeth were perfect.

6: do you keep plants? Nope.

7: do you name your plants? Can’t name the plants you don’t keep, my dude

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Uhhhh...no?

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? YES all the time.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Side!

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? 

12: what's your favorite planet? Pluto bc it is still a planet okay

13: what's something that made you smile today? My boyfriend’s Snapchats

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Messy af

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! “In space, the skin on your feet peels off.” EW SPACE WTF

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? MMMMMM any pasta tbh I’m Italian I will eat anything

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I love my hair color the way it is now!

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. My ex never let me forget the time I was passed out on his couch, and I woke up intermittently before falling back asleep. He was watching Rush Hour. I asked him, (HALF ASLEEP MIND YOU), Oh, is this the movie with Chris Rock and Bruce Lee? (I’m awful).

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I write my thoughts and crazy paranoia in there boyyyyyeeeee

20: what's your favorite eye color? BROWN

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. Uhhhhh it’s a longchamp bc I’m a white girl

22: are you a morning person? Not really

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? SLEEP!

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Not sure

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? I’ve never broken into anything omg

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? My Uggs, because I’m a white girl

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? Mint

28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? My BFF giggles sometimes when she talks and idk it’s cute

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Fuck yes, have you ever seen a spider? In your shower? Without your glasses on? 

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I LOVE SOCKS! When I get socks for Christmas I get so excited. I can fall asleep with socks on, but at some point in the night, they’re coming off my feet lol.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. I ate pizza while I was drunk #wowimsocool

33: what's your fave pastry? Cinnamon buns, does that count?

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? Winnie the Motherfuckin Pooh. No :( He fell in the mud and I had to throw him out bc the washer couldn’t fix him

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Fuck yeah I do!

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? Noooo clue tbh

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean, but it’s always a mess

38: tell us about your pet peeves! I hate when the President sniffs into the microphone while he’s delivering some sort of address, blow ur nose next time or stop doing coke

39: what color do you wear the most? Black lol

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? Nose ring, no special meaning I just really like it

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? An Abundance of Katherines bc I fucking love the shit out of John Green

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Not really tbh

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Probably my bf

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? The other night, at the beach! So pretty :)

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yes

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. I couldn’t think of any, next question

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Aerosol cheese

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Bugs, yes, ew

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? Don’t remember!! I bought the first Glee soundtrack when it came out LOL

50: what's an odd thing you collect? Socks?

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? I associate “All Night” by Chance the Rapper w my bf

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? Salt bae for sure

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Beetlejuice was the only one, I watched a little of Pulp Fiction - they were both ok

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My friend :( she’s ok now but I saw her the other night and she was upset

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? Not sure 

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Laughter and the way people get excited over things

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? It made me feel like I’ve been having too much sugar tonight tbh

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? I’M THE WINE MOM!!!! I am the wine QUEEN ok that’s all I ever drink. My bff is the vodka aunt, but she lives miles apart from me so we rarely drink together nowadays 

59: what's your favorite myth? Dude? I don’t have one

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, T.S. Eliot. 

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? I got a really ugly hat once, and I gave a really ugly hat once, at the same Christmas exchange party 

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? Hell no I’m a living mess

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Black

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? Yes, my bff 

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Mad lilies! They’re my fav flower

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Depressed and tired tbh

68: what's winter like where you live? Cold but not too cold bc you know global warming

69: what are your favorite board games? Scrabble!!

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Yes lol

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? ANY KIND! Right now I’m really feeling ginger turmeric from Trader Joe’s, though, soooo good

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? YES.

73: what are some of your worst habits? Uhhh not going to bed early enough lol

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. This person is a HUGE JARLEY FAN and super adorbs!!! Hates Mon-El and LOVES TO RANT ABOUT IT AND I LOVE THIS PERSON REGARDLESS 

75: tell us about your pets! So I have a dog, he’s almost 12 years old which is really depressing bc he’s probably going to pass on soon :( I’m obsessed with him and love him so much!!

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Yeah, taking my bra off why am I still wearing it

77: pink or yellow lemonade? PINK, always

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? Hate club, get them the fuck away from me

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? One of my old boyfriends learned how to knit for me which I thought was very sweet

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Aqua! Because I like it?

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. “Comets.”

82: are/were you good in school? Not really

83: what's some of your favorite album art? Ohhhh I know this, I love Californication’s album art so much

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I have seven!!

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? No

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Wat

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? The Lion King, BITCH

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? Not really

89: are you close to your parents? Yes

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. NEW YORRRRRK. Concrete jungle where dreams are destroyed you’ll never get anywhere go back to long island

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Somewhere over the summer, not sure where yet tho

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? In the middle

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? Top knots bc I’m lazy

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? The Weeknd LOL

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Date night, then I’m not sure!

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? Ohhh I procrastinate so much

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Not sure about the Myer-Briggs type, but I’m a scorpio + Ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? Yes! I think in November. It was chilly, but a lot of fun

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

One Headlight - The Wallflowers (listening now)

Home - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes

Love Drought - Beyonce

Under the Bridge - RHCP

Strip My Mind - RHCP

Literally anything by RHCP

Do You Realize?? - The Flaming Lips (I cry literally every time I listen to it)

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Neither, because I am choosing to live in the MOMENT :)