#but im very passionate about films and as i think about my own main movie idea/screenplay

[carcarrot]

old man yells at cloud about constant sequels

[alovenotsofragile]

so im sure we've all seen the questions regarding the new movies at d23 expo and i was very much surprised and thrilled about the kristoff centric questions. i think the one about him becoming a king was inevitable and them not including it would've been pretty questionable; but the fact that they are willing to dwel on his past and other aspects of his life makes me really hopeful. i've seen a couple of people hoping for him to have an arc that doesn't have anything to do with anna; while im not against that idea at all, i just don't see it happening tbh. maybe not to the extent of f2 where almost all of his attention was on anna and proposing to her, but i think his storyline is going to eventually tie down to anna and their relationship even if anna herself isn't directly involved in it. kristoff's character was created to be anna's love interest from the very beginning, so him having an arc that's completely free of her would be unlikely in my opinion. but i guess we'll just have to wait and see.

now the first question and what i think will be kristoff's main story arc in the movie: will he be a king? or will he be a prince consort? there are a lot of differing opinions on this matter but either way it means he has to make huge adjustments in his life. i truly hope they don't recycle the "i don't like my life in arendelle and i've been lying to anna this entire time" plot from f2 drafts. i would much rather see him struggling to find his place in arendelle instead of downright disliking it. we all know anna is completely fine with his not wearing formal clothes and would never force him to do anything, but formal clothing is just a tiny fraction of what he's expected to do from now on. while some people deem it unlikely for him to live and have a happy life in arendelle, i think they will eventually be able to work it out. anna is the one handeling the kingdom's affairs and he can be there by her side to help her out using his experience with his business throughout the years. balancing out his passion and his life alongside anna is something he can definitely work on and it's not impossible at all.

moving on the second question and the one that caught me off gaurd the most: do they want kids? this one was truly a surprise to me and many others im sure. i think throughout the years we all just kind of gave up the idea of seeing their children one day and given the fact that they're not even married yet, it certainely was not expected at all. the thing is are we going to actually see their children? maybe we're just going to see them anticipating a child? or maybe it's just as simple as them discussing having children. now don't ask me how this might go cause it can either be a cute and playful exchange with a little sexual innuendo (don't look at me, disney loves to pull that with these two) or a conversation that can lead to anna talking about agduna and kristoff questioning his own parentage (which is the next big question). as for the question itself, i think they both want children and would be the most lovely parents ever. becoming a mother was probably one of anna's dreams growing up and im super excited to see how they're going to bring that up in the story. but we're most likely going to see that in the fourth film, which is for the better.

as i said the next big question is where are kristoff's parents? this is actually a super popular one that's been asked since the first film was released. im going to be honest here and admit the fact that i was never really particularly curious about his parents that much. i mean we see him as an orphan in the beginning of the first movie but that was always a part of the world building to me and i never really felt the need to know what happened to them. but since they've decided to touch on that subject, im pretty interested in the matter. i hope the revelation is at least impactful to the story in some way and i seriously hope it's not some "kristoff is a lost prince and his parents are alive and well blah blah blah" bs because i will truly be infuriated if that's the case lmao. i don't think it'll actually happen but im still keeping my fingers crossed for it to never ever come true because its just. ugh. stupid.

i will be combining the last two together just because i don't have much to say about them: how did kristoff meet sven? and how can sven be so old and still so virile? honestly i can just see the first question being answered by a passing comment, nothing more. they obviously met as children at some point and kristoff decided to keep him, its as simple as that. the next one is a bit tricky tbh; i love sven and it would absolutely crush me to see him pass away. im not even kidding if that happens i will be sobbing. my. eyes. out. but if its necessary to the story, then i guess we'll just have to bear with it. i do hope we get to learn about his passing in a timeskip or something to lessen the pain lmao.

so here are my thoughts revolving kristoff and kristanna for the upcoming movies. i have more hopes and wishes and a list of what i'd like to see in f3/f4 but that's a topic for another day. im sorry for the longass post! if you made it here, thank you a lot and i would love to know you guys' opinions and whether you agree with me or not. have a great day/night everyone (๑>◡<๑)

[magnolia-sunrise]

raises my hand i have a quastion: how do your other interests affect/influence your ocs and storytelling?? :0 (also i hope the next month is much kinder to you!!)

waaaa wow thank you for a very interesting question as well as the well wishes <3 its been just kind of a sludge of bad times in our household but hopefully spring will bring better days soon!!

and i would say these days i let myself get influenced by my interests A LOT and its really fun :D i think outside of art my main interest is in films, books and experimental theatre and especially horror genre. i try to purposefully surround myself by interesting and different ideas and art because so often it inspires me with my own stories or characters. like buying random art books and zines, getting into comics and manga that people mention or recommend, going out to see the new indie movie whenever i can, following people who are so passionate about their own craft and stories that it makes me more passionate too. i think admitting to those influences and letting them clearly show is a form of expression and communication as well, like look reading all of Steel Ball Run deeply rewired my brain and im very happy about that and im happy to let my JJBA inspirations show!! or that time i travelled to see Hozier in the summer and the live performance of Eat Your Young was soooooo much, when i got home i had to paint that one vibrant pink and blue piece directly taking from the stage design of that tour!

for example Wolfgang was borne out of my frustration with mainstream android / robot media of the time (Westworld, Detroit Become Human, Blade Runner 2049) but also the history of the robot genre and its lack of accounting for transness in general, as well as my interest in neonoir genre and crime fiction/ detective archetypes and characters who don't fit into those archetypes neatly (thinking Twin Peaks and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo). and then so much about how they present has come from my interest in high fashion. and many parts of their story and personality are influenced by music in some way or another as well, and their world has grown bigger feeding on different and newer inspirations etc etc

i'm not a writer primarily, and so i feel like developing characters and worldbuilding sometimes doesn't come easy to me or it's just kind of piece by piece of random arrangements so i try to open my mind to this strange organic process of letting things inspire and influence me and see how it affects what's cooking and rotating inside

i also always think of how Berserk so clearly started out influenced by predecessors and contemporaries like Fist of the North Star, JJBA, Rose of Versailles and Hellraiser and has become this absolute monument that has influenced so many other artists and creators. and if you're familiar with those other works, how interesting it is to read it and recognize the influences. it's like it's own type of language in a way, it's almost like you get to know a little bit more about the artist too if that makes sense

[quillkiller]

i'd love to hear more about why u didn't like barbie if it's not a problem for u

it’s not a problem! i do want to preface by saying tho that i did actually love seeing it and especially in the theatres with my dyke best friend!! and we had the time of our lives.

i wrote a very long and messy film review about barbies take on feminism and the patriarchy, i could post that if you’d be interested? :)

it also just. rubs me so in the wrong way seeing ryan gosling being peoples favorite thing to come out of the barbie movie. it just proves to me, imo, that barbies message went completely unheard. i absolutely loved his performence too but like. did we watch the same film? do we really think it’s funny that ken got bored of ruling a pareiarchy bc it didn’t include horses? is that actually funny or is it just unbelievably insensitive and out of touch? because i personally think the latter.

my main thing tho is basiaclly just that i had expected the film to do something literally anything new. to say something we don’t already know. i could name several films with the same feminist take and i just genuinely thought it would do one single radical thing. and it didn’t, in my opinion, and it left me very disappointed. i can’t name one single (new) thing the barbie film did for women/feminism if i’m being completely honest. it wrapped itself up in a neat little package towards the end saying ’everyone matters!’ w a cute little bow on top. men (because kens are still men) didn’t have to apologize and ryan goslings ken is everyones favorite part. from a movie about patriarchy and the sidelining of women. it just doesn’t sit right with me at all.

the kens are literally my enemies like what they did was unforgivable? they were men brainwashing and taking advantage of women and they didn’t even have to apologize and now we’re all obsessed with ’kenergy’? they should’ve at the very least be held responsible, but no they got an apology instead. while the barbies literally didn’t get a single one. is kenergy rly something we want? was he really keanough?????? i swear if i ever meet a man saying he’s a ken / is kenough i will kill him and then myself

some people may think i’m overreacting or that i’m a buzzkill but this is is genuinely how i feel about it. i see women say ’this is a film for all women!’ but i didn’t feel that once? i didn’t feel included once in the narrative and im definitely not being represented by barbie. it brought me back to when i was in the closet and i felt alien to everyone around me. i felt strange and ugly and wrong. this was a film for heterosexual women, imo.

in my defense, i am a film student film with a bachelor’s degree in film science, so i do feel confident in my own reading of the film. i am also well read on feminist theory and have been educating myself for years (and still do). it’s two things i’m very passionate about and literally you couldn’t spend even half an hour with my friend group, all dykes, before it turns into political/feminist discussions hahahah. i trust my judgment in how i feel about the film, but i’m not trying to change anyone else’s mind and im definitely not saying it wasn’t a good film. i’m absolutely not automatically right because of this. this is simply my reading of the film.

however, i find it very difficult not to engage with media, especially film, critically as someone who studies film and intends to make it my career. and i tend to engage critically from a gender perspective based on feminist theory because i honestly just can’t help it. a huge part of me didn’t want to engage with barbie critically because i had the time of my life watching it. i had so so so so much fun. but sadly, here we are

i had a similar experience when, in film history class, we started every single morning watching silent films. i fucking love silent films but let me tell you, the people who made silent films don’t love me or care for women. every morning i had to prepare myself to watch a woman get murdered by a man. a reminder of how women have been treated in cinema. a reminder that a woman isn’t a person, she’s a plot device for the male protagonist. the men in my class never noticed, whereas me and my uni friends (all girls) felt rather affected by it every single viewing. film theory hits different depending on who’s watching the film

that’s why i wanted barbie do just something new. it’s a film literally based on feminism and patriarchy and it still ended with a woman apologizing to a man. she still had to fight him off trying to make advances. she still had to do the emotional labour for another man.

it was just tiring. i wouldn’t have this opinion if it hadn’t made it so clear that the literal plot is patriarchy and feminism. that’s why i feel so let down

[neonun-au]

DJSKJSKSK didn’t intend to come off so weird about it, sorry! I did mean to add that one can surely like the 2005 version as a movie of its own because I have my fair share of favourite adaptations that were not faithful to where they were based on. I just personally didn’t like Keira as Lizzy, I guess..? DJSJSJK but sorry if that came on too strong, didn’t mean to sound malicious about it.

oh no it didn't come off as malicious, no worries!! i just hear that so much whenever i talk about it so im like ah! more of this okay lets chat lol i also have and love strong opinions, so maybe i also sound intense but im just very passionate about talking about bullshit that doesn't mean anything ultimately lol

also yeah that's totally fair ! i think a lot of it also comes down to which one you first watched in a lucid enough state to latch onto hahaha especially as far as the main characters go. tbh i don't have super strong feelings either way on knightley or ehle

but yeah fully it all just is personal preference ! like naturally a mini series is going to be able to be much more faithful to the source material than a singular film just given the time constraints, so the movie has to find different ways to translate the same concepts and story through different methods etc. so i think its also a tough gig trying to really compare them in a way that's like "this one is objectively better!" because they both are setting out to accomplish something through entirely different methods and constraints haha i think that's all i was trying to say HAHA

also, love the 2005 version or not, you have to admit the marianelli score kind of popped off...

[kdramalahhh]

Review: 18 Again [An unfeigned tale of a selfless father]

No. of episodes: 16

Personal Rating: 9.5/10

I personally had the busiest time of my life trying to juggle law school with other things and when I had a short break last week, I planned to watch a drama. I intentionally waited until 18 Again to be done airing and my decision was absolutely right because if I were to watch the drama on going I’d suffer from just waiting for each episode to be aired and will most probably be more attached to the drama than I do right now. 

Before I lay down my reasons why this drama is so good that i gave it nine and a half point, I want to tell how I feel right now post-18 Again (this is surely a phase). So, I managed to finish watching the drama in 3-4 days and after I closed the window of the last episode, I felt content but empty at the same time. Contented because the ending was so good and satisfying but at the same time the emptiness kicked in when I realised that I can no longer see these beautiful characters anymore. After the last episode, every time I listen to the OSTs, saw any clips especially the heartfelt ones; I’d cry and that’s just how impactful 18 Again was.

Synopsis: 

The drama (based on the movie 17 Again) was basically started Hong Dae Young (Yoon Sang Hyun) and Jung Da Jung (Kim Ha Neul) facing a marriage problem which lead to a decision to get a divorce, at least for Da Jung. They live seperately at the moment, Da Jang with their children and Dae Young with his best friend whom he had known since high school, Go Deok Jin (Kim Gang-Hyun). Despite being high school lovers and were very passionate to achieve their dreams, Da Jung and Dae Young were at the cross roads when Da Jung got pregnant at the age of 18. They then decided do put a halt to their dreams and got married, for their twins, Si Ah ( Roh Jeong Eui ) and Si Woo (Ryeo Un). This might started with a whole decision to be responsible adults but as time goes by they started having regrets given that life has been hitting them so hard. Eventually, after 18 years they come to a decision to get divorce - which Da Jung insists, and could not change her mind when Dae Young had no idea why they were fighting that it became this messy. This made Dae Young so frustrated that his life turned out this way. Then he made his way to his high school gym; which is now attended by his children, to shoot some balls into the basketball ring. Out of habit, he made a wish to be young again and yes, you guessed right. His wish came true! The lights went out and when it turned back on he was in the body of 18 year old Dae Young (Lee Do Hyun).

Okay so now let’s just dive into the 5 reasons why this drama is so worth watching. 

1. The plot growth and character development

I love how the plot was arranged. The writers absolutely know what they want to express in each episode episode. I like how the drama projects certain scenes from one character’s point of view and then reveals another character’s side of the story. The whole drama really wants to say that what you see is not entirely what you know. This results in a story so beautifully written, revealing one by one the things no one knows about a character. Their struggles and pain they hide from people they love just so that they won't be burdened by them, which does not necessarily resulted positively since misunderstandings occur now and then.

The characters’ development is something that should also be noted. In the beginning we see how Dae Young was a father and husband who regrets his decision for having to sacrifice his dream for his family. But, after getting the chance to be young again and to be able to do what he want - that is basketball. He started to realise his mistakes and this has opened his eyes as to what his dream actually is. Being able to only help and care about his family without them knowing who he is, was so painful for him since they really have the idea of not needing him anymore in their life. Same goes for Da Jung, at first she felt like Dae Young was changing, did not love her anymore and was pathetic. However, as time goes by some things came to her knowledge, her perspectives towards Dae Young changed. Other characters have their own story and growth as well but you guys should find them out yourselves. 

2. Lee Do Hyun

When I say Lee Do Hyun carried the whole drama, I’m not even exagerrating. he potrayed his character as a young father who struggles to raise children and provide for his family. I think he touched my heart the most. I saw his behind the scenes and I can totally see his passion and the amount of effort he puts into his acting. The chemistry he has with other actors are exceptional maybe because of his bright personality. I just realised I have watched everything in his discography and I must say his acting has grown so much, he discovers and shows new sides of as well - through this character.

3. Double Second Lead Syndrome

This drama did not only made me choose between the two main male leads for Da Jung but also between the two student who like Si Ah. Ye Ji Hoon ( Wi Ha Joon) was competent, kind, handsome and smart. He’s a famous baseball player, he is everything you want in a guy! but I can’t help myself to get swooned by Dae Young as well. It was hard for me. but, between Goo Ja Sung (Hwang In Yeop) and Seo Ji Ho (Golden Child’s Bo Min), I was team Jiho since day 1 because I just can bring myself to like Jasung. I mean he bullied Si Woo so... although he had his moments, and changed later in the drama. All im saying is its fun to have these 4 male characters who are totally different and I enjoyed rooting for them.

4. The Production

This drama has amazing production quality. I love the transitions between adult and young Dae Young scenes. Also, how they made a lot of swoon worthy scenes so beautiful. The OSTs are amazing as well. I still listen to them. I want to give an appreciation to this drama for letting me discover new talents, the younger casts. They’re so good at potraying their roles. I really enjoyed every scene relatingn to students at Serim High. The fact that they give us extra clip (variety show kinda) after filming and they’re still in their characters was fun to watch as well. This just makes it harder for me to detach from the drama.

5. The Message

The writers for this drama really know what they’re doing. Every story, every role has its purpose. Each episode was totally necessary and I’d say has something to tell. This story is about second chances, sacrifices, passion and love. For me personally, I can no longer watch a drama solely for entertainment. I need something more to enjoy it. 18 Again gave me that. It made me rethink about how I treat my loved ones. Whether I appreciate them enough or if I ever consider their pain and sacrifices because you see, the world really does not revolves only around us. 18 Again also caters social issues like discrimination and sexual harrasment against women at workplace, school bullying, illegal college broker and many more. I also appreciate that they point out how children behaves differently to their parents and friends due to the expectations parents have on them. I think we all can relate to that. 

All in all, 18 Again is a beautiful story about family rather than just about an adult who gets to live his young life again. i think thats all. took me almost a week to write this but yea. Hope you guys enjoy it and happy binge watching! Don’t forget to tell me what you guys think about the drama💞

- shaininn⭐

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 6

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -5.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: its long because i had a lot to write, oops! also i tried to put as many requests for this chapter as I got. i suggest you dont look at them before reading the chapter or itll spoil it majorly to you! here are the requests!

the first one is the main request. and the others are the requests i got when i asked for requests for this specific chapter! :)

(SPOILERS OF THE CHAPTER)

Chapter 6 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I pulled on my skirt when i got out of the car, feeling slightly uncomfortable and regretting wearing it. I was mostly a pants person and even just wearing jeans was annoying me sometimes. I knew all the girls present would look incredible, though, and I didn't want to feel ugly around them. I bent down to look at my face in the mirror of the car and sighed before turning back to my boyfriend who had a small smile creeping on his lips as he stared at me.

"How do I look?" I asked, raising my eyebrows with concern.

He didn't answer yet, he just just walked up to me, taking his hands out of his pockets and wrapping his arms around my waist. I felt his fingertips brush on my spine and my lips curled slightly.

"So good i'm actually thinking about ditching them and driving back home to fuck you into the mattress." he whispered with a smirk, looking down at me as I tilted my chin up. "One word from you and I jump back in the car."

I giggled a bit stupidly and was about to answer when we both heard the door open and I saw Heidi in the frame with Niall slightly behind. She waved at us and I was suddenly very happy of my choice of clothing. Dylan remained close to me and sent her a smile, a chin movement and a small wave before turning back to look into my eyes.

"Well, there goes our plan." he joked in a low tone, raising his eyebrows at me and making me laugh. "I guess we're gonna have to rain check on sexy time."

He chuckled and his arms slipped off my waist but he grabbed one of my hands with his and pulled me in the door's direction. I stopped him and he turned around with a questioning look before I tilted my head and frowned.

"When we get back home, perhaps?"

His facial expression changed and he moved back closer to me, squeezing my fingers in his.

"I'm sorry babe, I really have to sleep early today remember? I work tomorrow morning, I have to wake up at 4:30."

I bit my bottom lip and nodded but the truth was, I had completely forgotten. I let my eyes roam on his face and held my breath, trying not to sigh. I was not sure if it was a good or a bad thing that I was going to be away from Dylan soon. He was leaving to film a movie and the truth was, we hadn't been away from each other much in the past few months. In fact, we spent most of our time together.

"Are you guys coming?" we both heard Heidi's voice but my boyfriend didn't look away from me.

"I can see you're disappointed. I'm sorry babe, really."

"No, it's okay." I answered with a smile, tilting my head and shaking it slightly. "Don't be sorry, I know you work hard, I knew it was part of the game when we started dating."

His lips curled in a fond smile and he sent me a wink right before we heard Louis' melodic voice from afar. I had asked him to text me when he'd arrive so Dylan and I wouldn't be the first ones there. I didn't want us to interact only with Heidi and Niall or I knew it would have been awkward.

"Hey you two! You can eat each other's face later! Or like, stare deeply and passionately in each other's eyes or whatever! But right now we're all waiting for you!" he screamed, making me chuckle. "Liv! I bought your fave wine too, come on!"

I rolled my eyes but smiled and Dylan laughed slightly before pulling me with him. We walked inside and said hi to everyone but it's only when I felt Niall's arm around my waist that my smile faltered. I tried to tell myself I wouldn't let anything he does affect me but it was practically impossible. It was only his fingertips brushing on the small of my back and I wanted to run away.

"Hey Olivia, thanks so much for coming." he said in a low tone as I felt him press his cheek against mine.

I moved slightly and his stubble scratched my skin, making my heart skip a beat, but I tried not to show it.

"Someone needs to shave!" I joked with a laugh.

He was well-aware that I loved his stubble and would never want him to shave it, but that was part of the little banter we had together and he laughed, raising his eyebrows before bending down again close to me and rubbing his cheek against mine. I pulled away with a grown but started laughing again.

"Ouch!" I let out a bit louder before chuckling. "I hate when you do that!"

"Yea?" he asked, amused, before doing it again. "I thought you loved my stubble!"

He stared in my eyes with a smirk and he was closer than he should be but I didn't move away. By the way he was looking at me, I knew what he was thinking about and he was right : I've always enjoyed to feel his stubble on my inner thighs as he ate me out. I've always loved feeling it scrape my skin as I pressed my thighs around his face while he tongue fucked me. That thought made my pussy throb and I held my breath until someone talked.

"Here!" Louis let out, putting a glass of wine between us and taking me out of my thoughts. "Drink."

I thanked him and tried not to look at Niall again as I followed them to the kitchen. I frowned when I saw the bottle of wine on the counter, noticing the bottle stopper next to it.

"Louis! You said you bought my fave wine but it's literally my own bottle from home!" I exclaimed, turning to look at him and raising my eyebrows.

"Oh shit, did I say 'bought'? I meant 'brought'"

My face changed into an annoyed and unamused expression and he sent me a cute smile, making me roll my eyes as my lips curled slightly.

"It was started, too. You don't bring an already open bottle to hosts." I kept arguing. "You're a bad guest."

"Heyyy, I bought this one and two more, i'm an incredible guest!"

A bunch of us laughed and after chatting for a while, we ended up sitting at the main table. I sat next to Dylan and held my breath when I saw Niall walk closer. He was about to sit on the other side of me when Heidi talked.

"No no, babe! We're sitting here!"

His face changed but he just glanced at me and sent his girlfriend a smile before walking to the other side of the table and sitting right in front of me and next to her. I didn't know if I felt relieved or sad but he kept looking at me and I couldn't help but send him a smile. I noticed Heidi move closer to him and put my attention on her.

"Thank you so much for being here, all of you!" she said, holding her glass up. "We're always all so busy but it's nice to spend time altogether when we can!"

We all clinked our glasses together and I grimaced at Louis who stuck his tongue out at me. I was happy he was there, I felt like I wouldn't be able to stay sane if he was not.

"Oh my god, Olivia and Dylan, you guys are getting married right? I read that somewhere!"

Niall glanced at her and I noticed he rolled his eyes slightly without saying anything. I didn't know if it was because Heidi talked about it or because of the wedding specifically.

"Mmhm, yes." Dylan said, taking a sip of wine. "We are."

"In september I bet." Niall quickly let out. "The 9th I'm guessing."

Everyone remained quiet but he kept staring at me. I remembered us talking about getting married but we had never talked about a date. It did something to me that he knew, and he knew me so well. He knew me better than anyone in the world. He knew me better than myself.

"Well, yes." Dylan finally confessed, slightly uneasy. "I mean, don't tell anyone, we haven't announced it yet, we want to be sure before."

I saw Heidi's eyes open wider in shock when Dylan admitted that Niall had guessed right. I could only imagine what went on in her head and I suddenly felt bad for her. I knew she was not the jealous type but when she moved closer to Niall to ask for a kiss, I could swear she had glanced at me at the same time.

"Sorry mate." Niall said, taking a long sip of the wine after raising his eyebrows. "That's when her grandparents got married. Lucky guess."

The discussion drifted but I kept looking at Niall who sent me a fond smile. I held my breath when I felt one of his feet over mine and my lips parted slightly. I was not wearing socks but I felt the fabric of his brush against the top of my foot. My eyes fluttered at the contact. Just knowing he was touching me made me feel a certain way. It was not sexual, it was just my body suddenly coming alive in a way no one else could make me feel. It took me a few seconds but I finally pulled my foot away but gently, sending him an other small smile.

I helped Heidi clearing the table while the others went to the living room but I noticed Niall glancing at us, probably scared of what would happen. I was not going to make a scene though, and I was pretty sure she wouldn't either, at least I hoped so.

"I know there used to be something special between you and Niall." she let out when we were almost done, without looking at me. "But it's gone now."

I held my breath and licked my lips, not really sure what I should answer to that. It seemed like a fact to her but as she said it, it made me realize it was not true. There was still something special between Niall and I, and there probably always would be. That's why it would be so hard for us to only be friends. Could we even do it?

"Alright."

I turned around and left her alone in the kitchen only to walk to the bathroom. I leaned my hands on the counter after locking the door and closed my eyes, my head slightly down. I tried to breath in and out deeply but I could feel my heart beating hard in my chest and I couldn't seem to slow it down.

I had expected something meaner from Heidi. I knew the kind of person she was, and I knew what she was looking for but somehow, she had agreed to this dinner and I didn't know why. It was not new that she didn't like me and I would have thought she wanted me as far as possible from her boyfriend.

The problem was, I didn't want to be far from Niall and she probably felt it, just like I felt how insecure she was, which was not her type at all. She didn't use to see me like competition, what happened that made her change her mind about me?

I also felt how Dylan tensed when Niall guessed the date of our wedding. It was not so much that he knew that, no, it was more about the whole history Niall and I had together that no one could even begin to understand. He knew it, but the fact that he was now witnessing it made it seem more real. He was not jealous but it would be normal if he felt uncomfortable. I couldn't blame him.

I breathed in deeply, staring at my reflection in the mirror and trying to make something of this mess in my head but nothing seemed to work. Everyone's feelings were at stake and we were all a bit stressed. I also knew that with a few too many drinks, it could become very ugly.

I shook my head slightly and left the bathroom to join the others, hearing them laugh from afar. I sat on the couch next to Dylan and smiled at Louis and Eleanor, sitting together on the floor, almost cuddling. Julie and Liam were practically doing the same on the other couch and I felt Dylan's hand reach for mine and grab my fingers. Everyone was getting a bit tipsy and they were all recalling memories from tour and after. I tried to keep quiet but for some reasons, a lot of anecdotes included me.

"Oh remember that time we all went skiing and Olivia wouldn't stop falling!" Louis pointed out with a chuckle. "Niall had to literally hold her hands and guide her. It was pathetic, she was getting bypassed by a bunch of five year old’s!"

"Louis, I hate you." I just groaned low.

"Or when we ended up playing hide and seek in a hotel." he added, ignoring my comment. "Everyone was found except for these two fuckers! Apparently, they were hiding together in a fucking janitor closet! We never found out what went on during those two hours!"

I grabbed a cushion and threw it at Louis but it only made him laugh. I remembered that time. I remembered my body pressed against Niall's for hours as we chatted together in whispers. I remember feeling his lips in my hair and his hand on my thigh to stop me from moving whenever we heard a noise. Nothing had happened, but it was still a good memory. One that brought a rush to my brain and made me smile.

I noticed Heidi from the corner of my eyes, standing next to the couch and listening to Louis' stories. She looked a bit stressed and I bit my bottom lip in hope that Louis would just stop it. Her face twisted into a smile and she just sat directly on Niall's lap, making me squirm a bit on my seat. He seemed surprised and I knew he was not a fan of public display of affection but he just glanced around the room a few times without saying anything. She bent down and when their lips met, I had to close my eyes and look away. I felt Dylan squeeze my fingers with his and turned my head to him, focusing my attention on him. He smiled at me and I was not sure which emotions I could see in his face. Sadness, perhaps?

"So Dylan, the car you're driving in that show? Does it work?"

I tried to push the thought of Heidi sitting on my ex boyfriend away and smiled at Louis as I noticed Dylan's lips curl too.

"Don't start him!" I quickly said, opening my eyes wide. "He literally asked to keep that jeep! It's in his garage!"

"It's old and a bit dangerous to drive but I still do from time to time. I even let Liv drive it once or twice."

"Fucking amazing car, can't deny." I admitted with a laugh.

"We also saw your latest movie." Eleanor added. "Loved it."

"It was honestly very good." Julie agreed, leaning on her boyfriend and nodding. "Although I believe a beard doesn't really suit you."

Dylan chuckled, bringing his hand to his nape in an embarrassed way. He was not the type to be shy, but being praised like that always made him a bit uncomfortable. I personally thought it was extremely endearing but I didn't mention it, at least not this time. I tried not to react when I noticed Niall get up and leave from the corner of my eyes but I couldn't seem to follow the conversation anymore. Dylan was charismatic and everyone was always listening to him when he talked. He had this way to charm people that I didn't have and clearly never would. I was not jealous, I was fascinated.

I would guess on 10 minutes. That was probably the time it took me to get up and leave the room too. It seemed longer but I knew it was probably just in my head. I walked slowly in the hall, my heart beating fast, and followed the sound of guitar coming from afar, ending up in front of a closed door. I bit my bottom lip but it only took me a second to press my ear against it to hear better.

"I try and try to forget you, but." He stopped and I didn't hear anything until he started playing again. "Try and try to erase you, but you won't disappear."

Without thinking, I pressed my palm on the door but was surprised when I realized it was not completely closed. I ended up tripping inside and letting out a curse word as I almost fell. I knew he was staring at me but when I looked up in his eyes, I noticed a small and amused smile playing on his lips.

"Sorry." I let out after finding my balance again, glancing down and pressing my lips together.

"You were totally eavesdropping." he pointed out, his lips curling.

"I was... totally eavesdropping."

He chuckled and made a quick head movement, telling me to get closer. I hesitated a few seconds but walked to him slowly as he looked up. He was sitting on his bed and it was a bit weird to be in the room, alone with him, while both our significant others were in the living room. We used to be like that though, right? We slept in the same bed even when we were taken a few years ago, when our friendship was at its peak. Why did it feel so wrong now?

He patted the bed next to him and I licked my lips, holding my breath before shrugging a shoulder.

"Uhm, does Heidi live here?"

He frowned but didn't lose his smile.

"No, why?"

I didn't answer his question but simply nodded and after a few seconds, I sat next to him, trying not to touch him. I didn't want to sit in a bed that was hers, too, it would have been too weird to me, but knowing it was his bed made me feel better about it, even if I knew she slept there too sometimes.

Niall ran his fingers on the strings and my eyes dropped to his hand. He used to do that all the time. Just join me on the couch and start playing randomly. I didn't know if he noticed but I always ended up just turning the volume down to listen to him without being too obvious about it. Sometimes, he barely noticed me at all and it was alright. I always thought it made him even more handsome than he already was. When I looked up, I noticed he was looking at me and I smiled, feeling my heart jump slightly in my chest. After all this time, he still had this effect on me and I had no idea how it was possible.

"So, what were you playing?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. "Wanna play it for me?"

He chuckled a bit, obviously uncomfortable, and scratched the back of his head, glancing away before looking down at his fingers.

"New song, it's not finished, can't play it."

I felt something twist in my chest at the thought and I swallowed jealousy inside me. He was with Heidi and she already got a whole album written for her. It was a bit hurtful to think she was going to get a second one.

"You must really love her." I said low to make sure my voice wouldn't break.

"What do you mean?"

I looked up at him and let my eyes roam on his face. I wanted to stop thinking about him all the time and feel nervous around him but even more than that, I wanted to stop all the feelings exploding inside me every time he was near. We were done. He had a girlfriend and I was getting married, there was no point in dwelling on the past, right? I brought my hand up but hesitated and finally pressed my palm gently on his cheek. I wanted to ask him if he really loved me. I wanted to know if being with me for almost a year even had an impact in his life, I wanted to know if it mattered, If i mattered. Or at least, if I used to matter.

"You kissed me the other night."

I felt his hand over mine, on his face, but took it back slowly as my lips parted. How could he know that? He was asleep, right?

"N-No, I mean..."

"I thought you never lied."

I closed my mouth and breathed in before licking my lips, still staring at him. i had to assume my actions and I swallowed hard.

"I did, I kissed you. I thought you were sleeping." I admitted in a low tone. "I'm sorry, Niall, I shouldn't have."

He chuckled a bit awkwardly and shook his head, putting his guitar away and passing his hand in his hair. "Hey, I kept reminding you of when we fucked and I think I remember caressing your leg so, I can't blame you for a small peck on the lips."

"You were drunk, I was not." I pointed out.

"Not an excuse." he quickly replied. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

"You didn't."

We stared at each other for so long and all I could hear was the sound of my heart beating against my rib cage and threatening to escape. I felt myself tear up but swallowed the lump in my throat and I could swear I saw him glance at my lips.

"You said you missed me too."

"I'm surprised you understood since I said it in french." I chuckled slightly, smiling at him.

"I remember a few things, I just can't pronounce them."

This time, I chuckled more until I realized how close we were from each other. Did he move closer or was I the one who did? Why did I feel so attracted to him, like my heart, body, soul and mind were connected to his?

"I'm gonna kiss you, okay?"

His voice was soft and low but I didn't answer and he moved even closer, so slowly that it seemed to take an hour. I felt his breath on my mouth and held mine before bringing both my hands on his face to stop him gently. He stopped and his eyes opened as my thumbs brushed on his cheeks. I moved my head lightly, feeling my parted lips brush up and down against his, so slowly it was like torture to me.

"Olivia..."

I shook my head and pulled away, turning on my seat and closing my eyes. It was so close and I felt my heart skip a beat when I realized we had almost kissed but the worst was, I really wanted it. I wanted it so fucking bad and I was getting mad at myself. I was also mad at him for doing this to me and I swallowed hard again.

"I can't Niall, and you can't either."

He didn't insist and I finally just got up as he did the same. I was about to get out of his room when I came face to face with Heidi. I tried to play it cool but her eyes got bigger as they moved from me to Niall and then back to me.

"What the fuck?"

I didn't know what to say and just walked past her to get back in the living room. I grabbed my glass and swallowed all of it as Heidi stormed back to the room. Everyone stopped talking and looked at her but she was staring at me, ready to jump at me.

"What the hell were you doing with my boyfriend in my room?"

I wanted to mention it was not her room but I thought it would only make things worse and I just sighed and raise my eyebrows.

"We were just talking."

"Just talking?" she repeated with a rude chuckle. "Oh yea I know how 'talking' goes alright!" she added, doing the quotation marks with her fingers.

I felt Dylan getting up behind me and he placed his hand softly on my lower back.

"Hey, relax." he let out, bringing his other hand in front of me. "They're friends, they've always been friends, you should know that by now."

"Are you a fucking idiot?" Heidi added louder, frowning at him.

I turned to Dylan's who's face suddenly changed into an annoyed one. It was a side of him I hadn't seen before and it was crazy to think Heidi, out of all people, could bring it out.

"It's not the first time you ask me that."

Niall suddenly placed himself between his girlfriend and us but facing her. He put his hands on her shoulders and she closed her eyes.

"Babe, please, relax okay? Come on, how many drinks did you have?"

"I'm fine!" she let out slightly lower than the tone she had used on us.

"Just come with me okay?"

It took a few seconds but they disappeared in the hall and I licked my lips before turning to my boyfriend. Louis was standing up next to me too and when he placed his hand on my shoulder, I turned my head and met his eyes.

"Are you okay, love?"

His voice was sweet and gentle and I sent him a small smile before nodding lightly. Did it show that I was extremely jealous knowing that she was going to sleep in his room, next to him? I shook my head, trying to push away the thought and also my feelings. It was ridiculous, of course she was going to sleep in his bed tonight, where else?

"Okay, well, I think it's time to go now." Julie proposed as Liam stood behind her.

We all said goodbye and hugged as Niall walked back in.

"Sorry guys, so sorry it has to end up like this."

I felt bad for him, knowing that he likes things calm and fun but at the same time, I felt guilty. I could try and blame Heidi all I wanted for the drama, it was partially my fault and Niall's if it ended up like this. I also couldn't stop thinking that if we had kissed, she would have caught us.

"Don't worry, it's all cool." my boyfriend said, extending his hand to my ex boyfriend. The sight was a bit weird but I didn't mention it. "Thanks for inviting us, we're gonna have to return the favor soon."

"Of course, my pleasure, thanks for coming." Niall replied, shaking his hand and sending him a smile.

I glanced a few times as I walked to Dylan's car just to look at Niall standing in the door frame, and I sighed before opening the door and getting in. We drove off and I leaned my head against the window with my eyes closed. I still couldn't make sense of this mess and even if I wasn't drunk, I knew the alcohol and tiredness would stop me from unraveling it all. We parked in front of my house and I felt a pain in my chest when I remembered that Dylan wouldn't stay. I turned to him and tilted my head.

"You really can't stay?" I asked in a soft tone, making him smile sadly at me.

"No, I'm sorry. Tomorrow?"

I nodded slowly and licked my lips.

"What did you mean when you said it wasn't the first time she asked you if you were stupid?"

He shook his head and chuckled, looking down.

"Let's just say Heidi has tried to date me a few years back. Or at least to sleep with me."

The shock was so big I felt my lips part. I probably looked like a fish out of water and it made him chuckle. He brought his hand on my chin and gently moved it up to close my mouth.

"You... you never told me."

"Just like you never told me how intense it was between you and Niall." he pointed out, raising his eyebrows. "I mean, maybe you did but I didn't think it was that bad, I don't know."

He paused and I held my breath as he looked down at his fingers. He grabbed my hand and looked up in my eyes and I suddenly felt so guilty I was close to throw up. I loved this man, I really did. Could he tell that I had almost kissed my ex boyfriend not even half an hour before?

"You know what sexual tension is, right?"

I frowned, scared of his words, but still nodded. I didn't want him to tell me there was sexual tension between Niall and I. I didn't want to know what we looked like from the outside. I didn't want to have this kind of conversation about my ex boyfriend, if only because I was not even sure of how I felt or what I wanted. Still, I waited as my boyfriend sighed and intertwined his fingers with mine.

"Between you and Niall, there's romantic tension. It's dripping everywhere. It's... scary, Olivia. It really is." he explained, surprising me. "So yea, Heidi's little tantrum was annoying, but I can see where she's coming from. She felt it, too. We all do."

My eyes roamed on his face as my whole body seemed to throb. His words made me anxious and at the same time, I didn't want him to keep all of this inside. I wanted to tell him that it meant nothing to me, that all he could feel was the dusts of an old love, the vestige of the story of two lovers who didn't work out... but I didn't know if it was the truth. I didn't know anything anymore.

I bent closer and pressed my lips against his. He let me and I deepened the kiss, letting my hand slide on his chest gently.

"I love you. Please, stay tonight." I begged him in a low tone.

"You hate when I leave in the morning." he whispered, his lips still against mine.

"I can make an exception."

It took him a few seconds to answer. I felt his fingers playing with mine and his lips brush against mine gently. I wanted him to agree, I needed him to agree.

"Okay."

[shhh-no-ones-home]

girls on film* joe elliott x reader

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Can I get an oop in the chat?

also this picture is the main reason i wrote this so theres your fun fact of the day lol (also its kind of edited? idk, if theres mistakes im sorry)

* - Is it because I hate myself? Yeah maybe lol, either way its smutty and super long

Song: tempt my trouble by bishop briggs

Edit cause I forgot:

Tag list: @cynic-spirit

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I sat next to Joe on the couch, his arm draped over my shoulders, as we watched the movie play out. It was some new video he had rented that we meant to see in theaters a while back but he was on tour still. It wasn't a bad film perse, just not my style, and very forward to say the least. The amount of almost sex scenes was ridiculous. The least they could do is actually get it on and get it over with. I couldn't believe he actually seemed to be enjoying himself. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest.

"How long is this movie?"

I said half annoyed, causing him to look down at me.

"What, you don't like it?"

I half shrugged.

"It's okay, I just don't understand why they keep doing that."

I exclaimed, pointing to the couple aggressively pawing at each other. He laughed a little bit.

"What's wrong with two people in love?"

He laughed lightly and I sent him a look.

"Those two are not in love, this is worse than every other movie out right now, at least those show some action. This is just bullshit."

He cocked an eyebrow at me as I pouted.

"Would making our own help?"

He asked, amused, sending me a wicked smile. Oh he could be so bold.

"I'm not filming us together if that's what you mean."

He laughed and kissed my temple.

"No darling, not what I meant."

I looked up at him, brow raised.

"Oh?"

He smirked at me before leaning down and kissing me deeply. when i pulled back he had hopeful eyes.

"oh."

i said a little stunned, he raised a brow.

"so what do you say?"

i smiled at him.

"well someone in this room had better be getting lucky tonight and it doesnt look like its gonna be them two."

i said pointing to the tv and making him laugh a bit.

"Sounds like a plan to me."

He said, quickly pushing to me again and kissing me passionately, leaning me back a bit. I hummed into his mouth and held his head in place as he began making out with me. Next thing I knew he was swinging my legs into his lap and laying me down on the couch. I pulled away and giggled a bit.

"What?"

He asked confused, sliding his hand slowly up to my waist. I shook my head.

"It's nothing just keep going."

He shrugged and did as told, continuing to kiss me as his hands roamed my body. I ran my hand slowly up his arm, moaning into him as his hand found it's way between my legs. My arms found their way around his neck and I held him to me. I felt him shift a bit to get more comfortable. Before I knew what was happening we were both on the floor in front of the couch a little stunned. I laughed at him and moved to straddle his waist.

"How did we manage that?"

I said through laughs as he just stared up at the ceiling with a straight face.

"I have no idea."

He said finally looking at me and cracking a smile. I shrugged.

"Now we have more room to have fun."

I winked at him and he sent me a knowing look. He sat up quickly and hugged me around my waist, moving to kiss along my neck.

"You're perfect."

He whispered into my neck as I slowly ran my fingers through his hair.

"How badly do you want it?"

I said a little breathy, feeling his hand glide up under my shirt to undo my bra.

"I want you so bad."

He said back, beginning to suck and bite as he moved his head around my neck, jaw, and collar bone.

"Good."

I said, grinding my hips down onto him. He growled in my ear before completely ripping my tank top off from behind me. I gasped and grabbed my undone bra before it fell, sending him a disapproving look as he laughed at me.

"I really liked that shirt."

I pouted, watching him toss it behind him to the floor.

"It was mine."

He said matter of factly, pulling my hands away from my breasts. I sent him a Stern look as he draped his arms around my waist again, waiting for me to finish scolding him so we could continue.

"It was still my favorite, why do you think I steal it all the time?"

He smiled and shook his head at me.

"Guess you'll just have to take another one."

I smirked at him, slowly running my hands up his arms again.

"Like this one?"

I said tugging at it. He raised a brow.

"Maybe?"

I ran my hands down his chest and torso before grabbing it and pulling it up and off of him, tossing it onto the coffee table.

"I'll wear it later."

I said moving back to kiss him passionately. He held me to him before falling backwards so I was now fully on top of him. I hummed into his mouth as he groped my ass roughly, pushing me down onto him. He moaned as I moved my hips, letting his lips go. I watched his eyes flutter closed as I sat back up again, moving backwards to undo his pants. He was already hard and seeing his lust covered features made me more excited.

"Babe."

I said looking up at him. He sighed.

"Yeah?"

I laughed.

"A little help?"

He looked up at me before sending me a bashful smile.

"Right."

He rested back on his elbows and pushed his hips up, letting me slide his bottoms down around his thighs. I made a quick squeak sound in my throat at his now exposed lower half. He smirked at me.

"You getting undone over there or do I have to do this myself?"

He laughed at my dazed expression before I realized what he meant.

"Yeah."

I said, standing up. He sat up and looked up at me with dark eyes, helping me remove my shorts. I looked down at him as he ran his hands gently up my thighs, looking between each one before kissing the left one.

"Wow."

He said lowly, looking up at me and helping me back down onto my knees around him.

"You're not so bad yourself."

I said laughing a little. It's not like we haven't been through this over and over before or anything.

"Yeah but I'll never get tired of seeing you naked."

He said, admiring me. I blushed deeply at his words and kissed him gently.

"Joey you really are something else."

He smiled at me and hugged me to him, kissing my cheek.

"One of a kind baby."

I looked deep into his eyes as I slowly ran my hand down his torso. When I reached his shaft I kissed him deeply, him moaning into my mouth as I began stroking him. I pulled away long enough to look down at what I was doing and when I looked back up he had his eyes closed and his head tilted back.

"God, please just ride me."

He said lowly, making me giggle again. I kissed his Adams apple quickly and let go of him.

"Gladly baby."

He looked back at me with half closed eyes as I moved closer to him. I looked down and lined him up with my entrance before sinking down onto him. We both sighed out at the feeling. His hands began roaming my body again as I started to move up and down on him.

"You're perfect."

He breathed out. I just kept moving on him, arms around his shoulders to steady me.

"You said that already."

I smiled at him as he looked at me intently.

"And I'll keep saying it as long as it's still true."

He said before kissing my sternum. I closed my eyes as he began kissing along my chest, taking my nipple into his mouth. I moaned as he flicked his tongue over it, sliding his hand down between my legs to circle my clit too.

"Oh god."

I breathed out, feeling him smirk against my exposed skin. He let go of me and looked up.

"Baby?"

I nodded, not looking at him.

"Yeah?"

"Switch?"

I looked down at him a little surprised.

"Yeah?"

I asked back, brow raised. He normally didn't like being on top. I lifted off of him and watched him intently.

"Lay down."

He said, finally taking his pants the rest of the way off. I did as told, adjusting myself so my feet were flat on the ground and my knees where in the air. He crawled up between my legs before burying himself there, making me moan as he entered me again. He smirked down at me as he began pushing into me quickly. We both breathed heavily as he pounded into me.

"Fuck."

He said through gritted teeth, his hair falling into his face and swinging back and forth as he moved. I pushed my hips up into him as he moved and almost screamed. He hit something in me that just sent me.

"Do that again."

I said quickly. He looked down between us and did as told. I moaned loudly, digging my head back into the carpet.

"Baby I'm close."

He breathed out as he continued moving in and out of me, holding my hip tightly in his hand.

"Just a little more."

I said, squeezing his shoulders. He thrusted one last time before pausing and moaning loudly as he released in me.  He reached down and circled my clit a few times finally sending me over the edge too. I let out a high pitched breathy sound as I came around him, my legs shaking against him. He pushed into me one last time before pulling all the way out and rolling onto the ground beside me, pushing the coffee table out of the way with his body. I just stared at the ceiling until I heard him laugh, making me look over at him.

"What?"

I asked a little breathless. He shook his head.

"It's nothing babe."

I raised a brow before shrugging and sitting up with a groan. He rubbed my back haphazardly.

"So, nap or snack?"

I laughed and looked back at him, shaking my head.

"How about both."

He cracked a wide smile and sat up too, kissing my temple.

"I like the way you think."

[saltyslack-toast]

#Knock The Book 2: The Devil All the Time

WELL, I MADE IT TO THE 2nd BOOK REVIEW OF MINE, MEANS THAT I’M A PASSIONATE AND PERSISTENT BITCH, PERIODT. No actually I’m just bored and got really nothing to do, so here I am making judgmental, invalid and uncritical book review just to ease my guilt for doing nothing at home (just so my mom see me working through my laptop).

Okay The Devil All the Time is actually my first English book. The story of how I got this book as a matter of fact is quite irritating and funny at the same time. My uni friend, she saw this book in a modest book bazaar near her hometown. She was reading the title and the word ‘devil’ just remind her of me, she bought it and just gave it straight to me…... I’m sad but like thankful???

It’s a secondhand and hardcover book but I don’t really mind, considering the fact that the quality is still very nice though, except the worn spots stained all over the cover that make the book looks very old. My friend bought this only for RP 25.000, yes dude you’re not misread this shit, it was THAT CHEAP (whoever sell and own this book before me, I really appreciate it). Although if you want to buy the new one, you can get this book for USD 26.95 which converted in rupiah would be RP 407.500, yeah its cost pretty fancy for broke students like us and I don’t know if the book’s supposed to be available in your local bookstore but I think you can find it in worldwide shipping online store like amazon or any other shop perhaps. The book’s cover illustrate a dying white mutt hanging on the ‘log’ and bunch of cross everywhere, the cover is actually make sense when you read the book. It published in 2011 by doubleday in United States of America. The Author is Donald Ray Pollock, and you can find the sum information about his background written on the cover, but based form the book’s cover you can also check his website in donaldraypollock.com but when I checked, I’m not sure if it’s really his website since it just like pest control website (LMAOO I HAD NO IDEA FR). Anyway,

Let’s go breaking down the book!

“… Too much religion could be as bad as too little, maybe even worse, but moderation was just not in her husband’s nature”

The whole story in this book, basically give you portraits regarding the life of lunatics in the time after WWII. Nope, there is no sums up about the events happened in that moment so chill y’all non-historical enthusiast bitches. This book gonna give you a bizarre experience reading it, the first 10 pages of this book was already psychedelic, I assure that shit. Have you watched Games of Thrones series on HBO? It’s chilling right how Ned Stark, the protagonist of the main series died in the first season???? EXACTLY that was the vibes u got after reading the first chapter and get crazier every time u read forward. By the way, this book embodied 7 chapters and 55 sub-chapters, the chapter in odd and even numbers has 2 different main focuses on each characteristic exist, here I sum it up for you:

On the odd numbers chapters (1, 3, and so on), the central story of these chapters is circling among the family of Willard Russel, his Mom Emma and Uncle Earskell and also those 2 insane peeps Roy Laferty and Theodore. Willard Russel used to be a navy army and a bit skeptical dealing with religion issues just like his uncle, but his mom has always been a devoted worshiper. Willard married to the beautiful and kind-hearted women named Charlotte and they was given a son named Arvin Eugene Russel, everything was normal until Charlotte got sick and Willard gone crazy praying to god for his wife’s recovery and poor little Arvin has to suffer the predicament by his own self. Their stories always give me religious-fanaticism-gloomy vibes (is that even make sense??). Don’t even get me started with the life stories of the two brutes-ass man, Roy Laferty and Theodore they were used to be ‘preacher’ in Emma and young Willard’s Church. Nothing I could say further because it’s gonna be a major spoiler for you, but their stories really giving you insights of how frustration and fanaticism allow people to do something beyond their common sense.

“You remember what I told you the other day?” He asked Arvin

“About the boys on the bus?,”

“Well, that’s what I meant, you just got to pick the right time”

On the even numbers chapters (2, 4, and so on), the main tales is pertaining on the journey of Handerson couple, Carl and Sandy. They were like the Bonnie and Clyde but sad and exploitative version in this book. Carl is a ‘photographer’ and sandy working as a waitress in a café called Wooden Spoon (Which the place where Charlotte used to work as a waitress and the place she met Willard for the first time as well). During summertime they got this ‘ritual’ ((but not in a religious way)) where they drive to different states and give a ride to the hitchhikers found on the way, then Carl forcefully offer them to fuck Sandy for free (HIS OWN WIFE) while he took pictures of them fucking and after that Carl kill them and take all the money those hitchhikers got in their pocket (dude I can’t even judge anything). But to be honest, I’m not a fan of these two characters because they were all so ANNOYING to death. And then there is Bodecker Lee who’s a police and also Sandy’s brother, ok that’s it, I’m not gonna give you any spoilers.

“… He went down the street and sat on a bench in a park the rest of the day thinking about killing himself instead. Something broke in him that day. For the first time he could see that his whole life added up to absolutely nothing…”

You might be confused since there are quite a lot of keen characters in this book but there’s a point where all these bitches are relating to each other, so chill y’all impatient gripe-ass. Overall, the flow of the story is undoubtedly interesting for you to keep going throughout the whole story, because every phase gonna make you wondering about next things happened to them. But, the transitions among every chapters is quite uncomfortable for me, because sometimes when the story has reached its climax there is no resolutions coming to solve the problem immediately, and you’re faced to read the new chapter with a whole different setting and characters so it’s kind of ruining the vibes and emotions the book has made me, but again this just my personal preference so please don’t judge (while everything I did right now is judging inaccurately).

“He realized that he would never preach again, but that was all right. He’d never been much good at it anyway. Most people just wanted to hear the cripple play”

However, what I like the most from this book is the deepening of every character exists is so fascinating, even for just the side or supporting character (for god sake I’m sorry idk what to called a character that isn’t the main one), for example a bus driver in Meade, Ohio which Willard talked to when he was on the way home after the war ended, the narration wrapped and portraits the driver’s life perfectly without make us bored, and there’s still a bunch of interesting narration about the life of the side characters in this book that also as odds and intriguing as the main character’s background (jesus, everything happened and everyone in this book is just so strange and peculiar I swear to god). The story finished in a most tragic-beautiful but still gloomy way, even though it’s quite predictable but still a very good closing for me personally. To be noted, on the way to the end of the story, there will be emerge another asshole priest character named Preston Teagardin, ready to shake you up until you finish the book. But still, let’s said this particular ‘last minute character’ has proving that the author is paying so much attention of how the story ended isn’t leaving any 'rush-made' impression (this shit might confused you I’m sorry my English hasn’t got any better *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign*). # hashtag attention to the detail bro.

Holy crap, that’s the first time I’m almost able to cut all the bullshit I intend to bring it up here.

This book is one of my top 5 books that you have to read once in a life time (although I haven’t discover the other four, omg im sorry y’all). Little information for you that the first time I read this book (yeah I read it for quite few times) is when the campaign of presidential election era, which in Indonesia the religious are pretty sentimental issues, some of the people in my country suddenly became those annoying fanatical preachers, man I can’t stand it. And this book is just precisely relating to that condition and I get to know at least a glance of what the heck odds things happened in their minds, since you know fanaticism and stupidity doesn’t hit only on particular group of religions, race, gender or anything, we can all be stupid and brainless (especially me because I basically have no brain). There probably quite many scenes that is pretty disturbing to read (I don’t know if people could be triggered by it???? But I guess so) so yeah a bit warning. Overall, I genuinely recommend this book for you guys because every element in this book is almost perfect, the storylines, bold characters, and the RARE AND STRANGE AND SENSITIVE topic promote by the author in this novel is totally a BOOM. Don’t worry reading this book not going to give you those agnostic and atheist vibes HAHA chill I still consider myself a devoted Muslim tho (hashtag masyaallah ukthi).

By the way before I wrapped it up, I hear that this book will be made into a netflix film. WELL, of course I’m excited because the casts are so amazing, and I love Netflix adaptation and I enjoy watch movies as much as I read books (again, unnecessary information of mine *sorry hand sign*). I found that the release date is postponed from the origin plan in 15th May (which is three days ago from I posted this on my page) due to I don’t know perhaps corona because that bitch has ruined everyone in the world’s schedule, but for real I can’t find the exact information regarding to the updated release date, so while you wait the film to launch, why don’t you just go read the book first? I assure you this one not gonna give you any disappointment.

I think that would be it for this 2nd rubbish book review of mine. Although, I think I made a little progressive from the first one (OR MAYBE NOT???? I’M SORRY Y’ALL) but of course there’s still much deficiency I served. Still, I hope my writing get better in the process of making this whole novel of reviewing book inaccurately. To be honest, I wrote this shit not for getting any engagements or audience but for my own satisfied HAHA. So yeah I’m literally comfortable writing for nothing. But bitch guess what I’m just gonna keep going, until I could professionally writing and make it for a living? Well, amen for that.

Xiao, See you in Advance!

[purplesurveys]

907

Are you one of those lucky people to own a walk-in closet? lol lucky people. No I don’t have one of those. Is there a random object you own that has a huge personal significance? Well it’s more significant today because we had our virtual graduation this morning... so I’ll go with my graduation sash. Ever since I started university I’ve always wanted to wear my own sash in a physical ceremony so again, it sucks that our batch got affected by the pandemic. Do you use Google? For just about everything, yeah. Would you like to go swimming right now? That would be soooooo so nice. I’ve been going through old vacation photos and I really miss the beach. Can you play electric guitar? Nope.

Do you have an HDTV? My parents do. When was the last time you drank something through a straw? Around a month ago when my dad bought milk teas for me and my sister. Have you ever tried to teach yourself a different language? I didn’t teach myself per se, but I have tried my hand learning Spanish on Duolingo several times. It always comes in phases – I get passionate about learning and use the app for weeks, then it kinda burns out after a while. Right now I haven’t used it since I got sick in May. How long was your last phone call? A little longer than an hour, I think. It was pure silence though; we just wanted to hear each other’s surroundings. Do you need to repaint your nails? No, I never get it painted. Has there ever been a horoscope that came true for you? Psh. Are you a fan of industrial metal? Holy shit I feel so stupid right now. I thought this was referring to a literal kind of metal and I thought, that is such an odd thing to be a fan of...Google quickly taught me that it is in fact NOT a material for building infrastructure jdsskfjskf. Anyway, no I am not a fan. Are you one of those people who chew two pieces of gum, not one? Yeah, occasionally. I don’t like how one piece loses flavor all too quickly so I go ahead and pop two in. Do you have a wall calendar? Not since 2008. We only had a wall calendar in our old house; when we moved here we started to rely on digital clocks and our phones to tell the time. Have you ever taken the pictures from a calendar and used them as posters? I haven’t had a calendar like that, so no. I’ve done this with magazines though. Can you handle the cold? Hahaha no, I can’t. I was already in so much pain in 20ºC weather in Sagada, and I fared much worse in 12ºC Japan weather. I would still pick living in a colder climate in a heartbeat over a tropical one, though. Have you ever been to Canada? Nope.  Do you believe in superstitions? Just one superstition involving my university that doubles as an inside joke, so it’s not like I take it 100% seriously. It’s a generations-old joke that’s impossible to ignore if you’re a student, so I just jumped in. When was the last time you took a taxi somewhere? It was from the airport to back home, but I forgot where we landed from. Bohol I think? Palawan? I don’t even know anymore. It was so inconvenient I begged my dad that we stop using taxis as transportation for our future trips. Would you ever join the army, airforce or navy? No. How old is the person you last kissed? 22. Is there a friend that you can always rely on to get you out of a jam? I don’t think so. When it comes down to it they all have their own different things going on and I can’t just call them whenever and expect them to come to me, and that’s okay. Generally though, I think my most reliable friends are probably Andrew and Angela. What was the most embarassing thing you've had to buy? I’ve never felt embarrassed by anything I had to buy, but it can get a little uncomfortable trying to buy napkins when my dress or pants are already soaked. I get over it quickly though, since menstruations are normal lol. Have you ever tried to balance the light switch between off and on? When I was a kid. I haven’t tried it in a while. Do you believe in ghosts / supernatural occurences? They’re fun to think about, sure, and I do enjoy watching the supernatural episodes of Buzzfeed Unsolved where they go ghost-hunting. I like to think that they somehow exist, but I still also very much maintain my skepticism at all times. Have you ever mistaken a person's gender? I’ve used the wrong pronouns accidentally but I always correct myself and apologize once I’ve noticed my blunder. What was the most expensive thing you've broken? My old iPhones. I’ve also sported a few dents on my car, but I wouldn’t say I broke the car. Has anyone texted you yet today? Not text, but online chat. We had our virtual graduation this morning so my inbox was swamped with congratulatory messages and such. Did you stay calm during the whole swine flu scare? I did, but I mean I was 11 and had no clue how serious it was supposed to be. I remember cheering when they suspended classes for a week because of a local swine flu case, so yep – still ignorant back then. Is there a light on in the room you're currently in? There is, but it isn’t turned on. Are your feet touching the floor? Nope, they’re on the bed. Have you ever been in a car accident? Mild ones, nothing too life-threatening. Do you usually make back-up plans? Yeah man I’m so anxious I always have at least plans A-C lined up in my head and ready to go whenever necessary. Can you focus well in high-stress situations? Usually. Without the aid of mascara, do you have long eyelashes? I do. I get compliments on it all the time too. I didn’t realize it was apparently a nice feature to have until more and more people pointed it out haha. Is there a kind of music you listen to that helps you release your anger? Yeah I have a playlist that’s lined up with all of my favorite loud, angry punk rock music specifically for when I’m pissed off. Are you one of those people who keep their feelings bottled up? I can, particularly whenever I feel like it’s not worth it to blow up. Is one of your friends extremely odd but you love them regardless? Not really. Aya’s pretty weird but I wouldn’t call her extremely odd. Is there anyone you dread going into public with? My mom when she’s mad. Are you a victim of writing run-on sentences? For the most part, I wouldn’t say so. If I write a run-on sentence it’s almost always in an informal setting where I’m more loose with punctuation, like if I’m chatting on IM or writing an answer on here. Still, I try to avoid them and I never do it in a formal situation. Graffiti: an art or an act of vandalism? They can be both. Some people who genuinely just want to fuck around vandalize, like how I’ve seen “Mark <3 Erica” in spray paint on public walls or some similar shit lol. But a lot of graffiti are art as well; many have important messages or symbolisms to say. Do you buy things online? I’ve done it a few times. Not regularly. I like being able to see and touch something before buying it. Are you easily frightened? I definitely am but at the same time I’m really into horror movies and serial killers and a ghost-hunting series? Hahaha it’s weird. I guess I enjoy the thrill that comes with having those interests. Do you have a favorite model? Over the years I’ve loved Elizabeth Jane Bishop, Kiko Mizuhara, Taylor Marie Hill, Gigi Hadid, Bella Hadid, and (controversial pick!) Kendall Jenner. Have you ever watched Titanic? So many times. Honestly, one of my favorites. What's your current facebook display picture of? It’s my official graduation photo wearing my graduation sash! :) I finally changed it last Friday after I got the email saying I’m on the list of graduates. How about your IM display picture? My main IM is my Messenger, which also uses my Facebook photo. Is there anyone whose hair you envy? Gabie’s for one. Hers is really smooth and silky and wavy. Would you act in a movie if it offered a role? If I was going to be a mostly unseen extra in a blockbuster film and still be paid like $600 for it, then I don’t see why I wouldn’t take it. Does speaking in front of people make you nervous? Only if there’s going to be an unscripted aspect to it that’ll make me have to come up with answers on the spot, like miting de avances or thesis defense. If I have a script or even just a general gist of what I want to say, I have no problem improvising and speaking in front of a crowd. Can you read in a moving vehicle or does it make you sick? It makes me sick but it hasn’t stopped me before. Have you ever dated someone who was extremely shy? I’m the extremely shy person... Or have you dated someone who took things too fast? I felt that way with Gab at first when she wanted to have sex like two months after we started dating, though I was scared mainly because it was going to be my first time and I wanted to make sure I was comfortable. Now that I’m a little older, two months seems like a healthy amount of time. Does the idea of driving 220 mph sound exciting to you? Sounds terrifying. It could be fun, but only if we’re in the middle of nowhere where there’s loads of space to go that fast and no chance of crashing. Everyone has a weakness, what's yours? Food. Do you or anyone you know have an account on Deviantart? I had classmates in high school who had accounts but I’m not sure if they still have it, or if Deviantart is even still as active as I knew it to be. Thoughts on the Dunkin Donut commercial that says "America runs on Dunkin'"?  It’s a creative slogan but if I was American I wouldn’t want a doughnut place claiming to represent my country. It cute though. Do you bother buying movies on DVD anymore or do you just download them? I watch them on Netflix, which is still technically like buying them since we pay for the subscription anyway. Do you listen to Daughtry? No. Do you get your eyebrows waxed? I don’t. Waxing looks so painful to me. How do you take your coffee? Lots of creamer or milk, a little sugar. I like trying out different coffees, but when I’m simply relaxing I do want my coffee as least bitter as possible.  If you have a dog, what breed is it? I have an aspin mix, though we never figured out what Kimi’s other half is. And I also have a beagle. Have you found someone who makes you unconditionally happy? I don’t know if 'unconditionally’ is possible but yes, I do have people who make me very happy. Do you have a friend who always seems to be dying their hair? Not anymore. Jo used to dye her hair like every month though and she must have been able to go through the entire rainbow. She looked sooo good in each of the colors. Would you swap names with a friend? I love all their names but I don’t see why that would be necessary. Do you plan on going to university? I did. I graduated today. Guys who wear muscle shirts, yes or no? Idk man, they can wear whatever they want. Are you a fan of Carrie Underwood? No. I liked some of her singles when I was younger, but I’m not a fan in that I have her albums and know her lesser-known songs. Do you make playlists on iTunes? I used to, when I still used iTunes. I make playlists on Spotify now. Have you ever forgotten someone's birthday? I don’t think so. Are you scared of being left behind? Yessir. I’m super competitive, so I hate the feeling. Do you remember your last dream? No. I’m really bad at remembering them unless they’re nightmares or insanely strange. I do know that I dreamt while we were watching mass earlier on the television though, hahaha. Do you know someone who is an obsessed Star Wars fan? So many people in my circle are. Is politics something you don't care about? No. If there’s anything I give tons of fucks about, it’s that. What's a movie/tvshow/book/series that is way overrated? I’ll go with the first things I thought of...in that order: To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before; Stranger Things (it’s good, but not as good as people hyped it to be); I don’t really read anymore; and what do you mean by series? Just realized I only gave 2 out of 4 answers lol oh well. Do you think Barbie presents an unhealthy image to young girls? I don’t like how its physical features are still unrealistic; but I appreciate their attempts at diversity. I can’t say it was upsetting seeing a Filipino-themed Barbie :) Is there a pet that you desperately want? All I ever wanted were dogs, and now I’ve got two of them. Would you ever get your bellybutton pierced? Nope. Are you musically talented? Hahahahaha Have you ever shot a gun? Not a real one, so no. Athenna’s dad had this practice gun he used for target practice (duh) and I messed with that a few times. Do you have a friend that always changes their mind last second? That’s Gabie. She’s lucky she’s my girlfriend and that I love her, because it’s actually a big pet peeve of mine. Are you not afraid to voice your opinion? Yup. The only time I don’t say it out loud is if it’s unnecessary and if it’s going to be simply disrespectful. An example would be when my uncle offered to make me a carrot cake for my grad gift, and I just said yes because it was already generous enough for him to offer me a free cake when he runs a food business. In reality it’s not my favorite cake at all; it wouldn’t even be in my top 20. Are you one of those people who are always pushing their limits? Yes, I definitely overwork myself to the point of exhaustion and burnout. But I honestly prefer doing things and being busy than sitting around. Is there a word that you will always find humorous? Bubbling. Because Drake and Josh.

Do you frown upon immature people? Typically. Have you ever slipped on ice and hurt yourself? This may have happened to me once or twice when I was still regularly visiting the ice skating rink at the mall. People were always super nice and helped me get up, though. Do you try to have an intimidating impression? I don’t try. Apparently it’s naturally the vibe I give off. Living in the big city or chilling in the country? BIG CITY. Always the big city. I’ve gone to the country/province so many times; I already know what it’s like there. I’ll always prefer a noisy city. No one seems to obey the legal drinking age, do they? Hahahaha a lot seem not to. I know so many high school kids who’ve had a drink before turning 18. Do you like your country's flag? Sure. I like that we can switch up the colors depending on if we’re at war or not. Have you ever made a totally amazing snow fort? I’ve never even seen snow before. Do you use Bounty Paper Towels? No. Are you the one usually behind the camera or the one in the picture? BEHIND If you get married, will you have a traditional wedding? Traditional, yes. Religious, no. Do you feel you’re slowly losing one of your friends? No. But now that I’m no longer in school, I really hope I’ll continue to be friends with my orgmates. I’ll certainly keep in touch as much as I can. If you draw, what's one thing you always have trouble with? Everything about it. Is there someone you know moving away any time soon? No. I do know my friend’s sister had already moved and started her new job in California, but when the pandemic started she had to go back here. This virus is just ruining so many great things for everyone, man... Allergic to anything? Nope. How many cars have you owned? Zero. I drive one; can’t say I own it because my parents bought it. What are you going to do after this? Maybe take another survey.

[jongdality]

me thinkin' about how i've grown up with exo and watched as they lived and learned and developed as professionals and humans, overcoming the struggles of a poor debut concept and scandal after scandal with their tenacity and love for each other

Then thinkin' about how Kyungsoo, a somewhat aloof, awkward and weird boy who decided to be bold and try out for SM after old people at karaoke competitions told him to and he made 8 brothers for life who love him dearly and support him and his antics and his acting career and call him cute no matter how much he says he isn't good at anything and that he's boring and Manly and how he has starred in a full-ass movie and is partially credited as breaking the "idol-actor" stereotype and writes love songs with chanyeol on the DL that chanyeol reveals on his lives and wrote the lyrics to a lovely, comforting song for us before leaving to join the military so he can become an even bigger star in multiple films once he gets out

Then thinkin' about how bbh, an outgoing boy who flicked lights on and off to make his friends giggle, met a friend for life, kjd, on the very same day they both were to audition to get into a group that was about to debut, how he worked hard to break down barriers in the group and became the moodmaker, and how people thought he was bad at dancing because he hadn't had time to train but actually every solo dance he's been given he's slayed to the point that he became the CENTER FOR CBX, how he worked hard to learn piano in a very short amount of time to play The Answer for his EXO-Ls, how even after an early scandal in which is privacy was invaded he still looks at us with such love and protection and is NOW an amazing solo artist who texts the exo group chat saying he misses them so much

Then thinkin' about Suho. Kim frickin' Joonmyeon. The underdog of the entire group. Born rich, charismatic and well-educated, could have been ANYTHING but CHOSE to train for SEVEN YEARS due to his love of music. You guys. When Baek and another member got into trouble for cussing while playing video games sometime in 2012-2013 and a sasaeng threatened to reveal the voice clips of them cussing purportedly to apink members, joonmyeon texted her personally, so cold, so professional, "are you blackmailing us? If you release the clip you won't be forgiven" big fuckin dad energy, worked so hard on his singing and dancing yet still asks not to be given too many lines or placed center too often, gives up his seats for his members ALWAYS, accepted their first awards show win alone stoic and professional as the boys broke down in the back room after the news of kris leaving broke, now has multiple solo songs and acts and is literally set to be higher-level management at SM due to all his hard work, definitely puts out that goofy mom energy but is actually extremely intelligent, protective and the go-to guy for all the members and this para has no point i just think kim joonmyun deserves everything

Remembering that chanyeol has a famous sister and is a multitalented instrumentalist that didn't actually need to become an idol, but he did because he wanted "brothers", how he skyrocketed an entire foot from debut til now, how he's all teeth and ears and big anime eyes and legs and he's confident and happy after years of struggling w his weight and self-image, makin music and writing lyrics and modeling for tommy hilfiger and riding scooters in paris and despite the fact that he can't dance he tries, despite the fact that he didn't audition to be a rapper he became one of korea's best, how he turns into a little kid every time he's around any small animal and just tries to cuddle and feed it as he coos in his Low Man Voice, his tough raps but then his soft exo station song SSFW, and now exo-sc with his bestie and ACTING!!!

Thinkin' about Xiumin. Xiumin who came in as a vocalist and ended up being one of the best dancers in the group (even tho he hits the highest notes!!!). Xiumin who is the oldest and wisest but is still willing to throw that ass back to havana to make cbx laugh. Xiumin who is korea's pick, who kids and ahjummas alike fall for. Xiumin who is beautiful and quiet and humble and supports his brothers from the sidelines, who is so loving and caring, who released an adorable solo that matches him so well and is now winning fckn awards in military training for being so goddamn amazing. Xiumin who attends TVXQ concerts and supports all of his fellow celebrities. Mark's dad. Amazing man. Says he has no friends outside of exo but literally everyone loves him. Dedicated his formative years to the group even when he wasn't spotlighted like he deserves to be and-

Lay. That's it. That's the paragraph. He came in not speaking Korean and is now one of the top-grossing musicians in all of China. Breaking barriers. Learning languages in a matter of months. Solo albums out the wazoo that he composed. Coming back to wish Kyungsoo goodbye even though he hasn't been on a stage with them in years. Didn't leave, although I'm sure he was mistreated just as much as the members who did. All of exo loves him so fucking much.

Kai. Kai who could have been a professional ballet dancer, could have been a full-time model, debuts as the SCREAMO BOY in mama. Gets made fun of for his skin complexion. Is shy and embarrassed for the first 2 or 3 years of exo interviews, and is still pretty shy and introverted. But boy became the fucking IDOL'S IDOL. FANCAMS GOING VIRAL LEFT AND RIGHT. SUSTAINING INJURIES, CRYING WHEN HE MESSES UP AN EXTREMELY DIFFICULT DANCE ROUTINE TO "I SEE YOU". Is such a perfectionist to the point of pushing himself into constant injury, and besides that has had his personal life broadcasted all over the news MULTIPLE times even though he's so shy and withdrawn irl. People cry to meet him, now. Front and center of every exo dance. A dancing god and the reason half of NCT auditioned. I cannot emphasize how proud I am of Kai, who is only a few months older than sehun yet has had to grow up so fast as the face of the group. Solo during the olympics with plantar fasciitis. Model who stuns at every Gucci show in new and experimental designs.

Sehun. Oh fuckin' Sehun. Ran away from recruiters because his mom told him not to talk to strangers, and now he's modelling for every major fashion campaign, is on the cover of vogue, has his dream dog and certifiably has the biggest dick of all exo members. Became a main dancer through hard work and practice even though nobody ever talks about how hard osh works bc he's sort of overshadowed by kai. Insecure about his singing voice but makes crowds go wild every time he even croons out one beautiful, dulcet line. Babied by junmyeon, kissed and coddled by all the exo members, still has Big Baby Energy but is debuting in a group with his fellow chaotic neutral yeol and looking all sexy with his swooped back hair and his 0 follows on insta. Sings in We Young and raps his little heart out. His solo during concerts still shake my very uterus and im pretty sure he's gay. That's how powerful ohs is, and he can only go up from here.

And finally my baby boy kim jongdae. Chanyeol once said Jongdae is so nice that he comes off as stupid and that is absolutely positively true. Boy is the manifestation of the john mulaney quote "you could pour soup on my lap and id apologize to you". Is a ray of fucking sunshine whose only goal as he was singing in that video from high school was to "become a singer". It's his passion. It's the reason he LIVES. He prays to jesus before every concert but worships music. One of THE best vocalists in the game with the cleanest and most controlled voice, sings in the shower, sings in the car, sings while walking to pet some deer, sings because he loves it and now he's a soloist with his own album out and another in the works, and not only that, he dances his feet on fire in CBX and exo routines and remains steady to hit those high notes. Duets abound because everyone loves him. Will tell a bitch to back off when talking about his private life bc he's probably a husband with 6 happy, healthy children at home. Started out as the nervous boy chasing a dream on that fateful day with bbh and became the nation's pick, sings CONSTANTLY, yet is still so humble he opens up a yt channel just to cover other artists' songs. MCs for Baekhyun's solo and shows up to all his performances to monitor. Heart of gold. Smiles when he's hurting. Deserves this solo career and deserves the happiest life this world can provide him.

Words aren't enough to express how grateful I am for these men, how proud I am and how much I just want them to know that we know how hard they've worked to get as far as they have. Compare them to any other group, even other SM groups, and it's clear that their passion, drive, skill and professionalism is unrivaled. They are all born artists and musicians down to their core, and with that, they're all kind, sweet people who are who they are because they debuted as 18, 19, 20, etc year old men 7 years ago and have grown up together, suffered together, celebrated together and loved together. They've switched up sounds, concepts, gone experimental, have created some of the most beautiful ballads and harmonies music has ever seen, and they strive for nothing but the best. ALWAYS. They have never disappointed me, and they never fail to inspire me every time they show the fruits of all their labor (as well as multiple creative people and teams that come together to create EXO) onstage as one.

Exo we are one, saranghaja.

[floralble]

Soft Bias Tag!!!!

tagged by @zarastrawberry on my main!

Who is your bias?

Vixx’s N (Hakyeon)

What made you notice them?

Around when I got back into Kpop I started watching their old videos mv’ s and some shows they were in and I wa smile how???? Is someone such a z a d d y on stage and a marshmallow off???

What is your favorite thing about them?

His dancing, and passion. He’s coke along so far and is showing kore courage when he dances. Oh and his cheeks I just wanna poke them whenever they poof up.

Who would initiate skinship more?

Him. He is very touchy with his own members so jcsn only imagine how he would be. I feel like he’s a holding hands kind of guy or just wrap your arm whenever your out.

Who would hog the blankets more?

Probably me. He’s such a giving and kind guy I feel like he would let me have the blankets. But me being the softy I am I would make sure he has some too.

Who would be more clingy?

BOY HIM. You should see him with his members. He’s like this squishy pup that wants to give and receive affection 24/7. And i am down with that one hundred percent. Im a sucker for clinginess. Plus I am clingy also.

Who would be more flustered?

Me. Despite me having no shame in certain situations I get embarrassed extremely easily. But he would find this adorable and probably try to catch me off guard as often as he can.

What cuddling position would you two have?

What colors remind you of them and why?

Red. It represents passion which makes me think of him.

Which season would you like to spend with them?

Fall. He looks so handsome in those long jackets and long sleeves and I swoon. Plus I feel like its couples weather. Drinking warm drinks together. staying in, and watching movies during the freeing days.

Who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?

I would bake the cookies and he would steal cause he’s just that mischievous. But it can also go both ays since I just love cookie batter. 

Which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?

I L O V E puns. I would tell them twenty four seven with zero regrets. And depending on just how bad they are I feel like he would hide his cringe with laughter just to make sure I don’t get my feelings hurt.

Who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats?

I would want fifty cats but I feel like he would want fifty dogs. However we would compromise 25 for each hehe.

Which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen trying to microwave a poptart and who would come to the rescue?

So I have a shirt attention span. Which is terrible since I love to cook. I feel like I would burn it and he would just come running in with a fire extinguisher and 911 on speed dial just in case.

Who likes to lean over tall railings and who pulls them back?

I lean he pulls since I have a fear of leaning over railings (yeah I know it’s weird don’t judge me.)

What would watching a horror film with them be like?

I feel like he would be scared on the inside but since I'm a baby he would try to toughen up.

Who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

He would be the smooth flirt just on account of how much of a gentlemen he is. Im cheesy af an olive for the cheesy moments.

Who is more competitive?

Me. But I feel like he would be as well in like an adorable kind fo way. 

Who would have to be given reminders (remember to eat, don’t forget your keys, etc.)?

Both of us! I forge the little things like washing my face or breakfast and I feel like h would remind me.But at the same time if he worked himself too hard I feel like he would forget things to so I would be there to remind him also. 

Who sends memes and who sends cute things like “I miss you” texts at 3am?

ME. I got memes for literally every occasion so I would send him one just to make sure he laughs or smiles during the day when Im not there. But at the same time he would be the type to send long mushy gushy i miss texts that I live for!!

[curly-q-reviews]

VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL

Below Her Mouth, 2016 (dir. April Mullen)

WARNING SPOILERS AND LOTS OF SEX TALK AHEAD TREAD WITH CAUTION

HEY Y’ALL we interrupt the regular programming for a special feature!!  i always like to do a lil valentines day special viewing for the sake of being festive and for once ive actually gotten some dating action in my life so i was in the mood to watch some sweet romance and then review it for ur reading pleasure (emphasis on the PLEASURE ehugeguehgehgeugeghe) (assassinate me now i deserve it)

to preface this, i am VERY gay.  well uuhhh bi but a very GAY bi u know??  basically i curse my attraction to men every waking moment of my life.  ive known about this since my last few years of college and am out to basically everyone whos important, and a lot of my friends are lgbtq+ so u know its official and everything.  i dont really claim to be a Gay Expert  cause i actually am still lacking a lot of uuhhh physical experience if u catch my drift HOWEVER like a true scholar i have done my fair share of research.  which mainly includes watching really shitty lesbian movies and mocking them (and every so often watching a rare Good Lesbian Movie and crying A LOT). 

if u are of sapphic inclination as well then u probably already know the kind of reputation lesbian romance movies have overall, the prime examples of which would be movies like Room in Rome and Loving Annabelle.  these movies all seem to have one thing in common, and its that the directors and writers have no goddamn clue about how to write a convincing and authentic lesbian romance.  u also always get the sense that the male gaze is the one being prioritized cause theres always PLENTY of gratuitous sex and the romance part itself is uuhhhh never really developed well or thoroughly enough at all.  these movies are usually about a straight girl who discovers her affinity for the feminine when she meets a total stranger and suddenly cant stop thinking about how much she wants to bang her.  and then in-between all the banging they somehow find the time to fall madly in love with each other but the straight girl just CANT cause shes STRAIGHT or she has a FIANCE or her PARENTS wouldnt approve or whatever the fuck the conflict of the day is and either it ends with them never seeing each other again or with the straight girl coming to terms with her not-straightness and ***follow her heart*** or whatever

really the only lesbian movies i can recall actually enjoying would be Pariah (PLEASE check this movie out its so heart-wrenching and beautiful and its like a majority-black cast!!!) and Blue Is the Warmest Color (this one i loved at first but the more i reflect on it the more problems i find with it, ESPECIALLY with how much sex is in it).  and then The L Word is a stellar tv series up until like the last few seasons which are trash but otherwise it was a great watch for me, especially while i was still figuring things out.  i feel like there are more that ive seen that were pretty good but i cant think of them at the moment WHOOPS LOL

so with Below Her Mouth i was apprehensive but hopeful going in, although i had heard rumors that it was Real Bad.  and u know i shouldve listened to those rumors and not bothered with this movie cause WOW its bad!!!  script is TRASH, acting is TRASH WITH FEBREEZE SPRAYED ON IT, and it looks like an artsy pretentious film student shot it.  natalie krill had maybe one good acting moment in the whole 90-minute run time and erika linder is really really hot and those are the only two good things i can think to say about this

fuck ok uuhhh i guess ill talk about the main characters cause OH WOW theyre basically two walking talking cliches.  jasmine (yes her name is jasmine that totally doesnt sound like the name of a character in a porn at all) is our Token Straight Girl who has a fiance and is a fashion editor.  she first sees our other romantic lead while working on the roof of a house next door to hers.  shes ur typical Lesbian Romance Movie Butch, too cool for school and unable to commit to anyone ever and is kind of an asshole but somehow this is supposed to endear u to her.  oh and guess what her name is.  just guess.  ill give u a few minutes.

DALLAS ITS FUCKING DALLAS HOOWEE WHAT A SHOCKER

the first thing we see of dallas, and this is also the first fuckin shot of the movie, is her uuhhh scissoring her girlfriend???  humping her?????  i really dont know what shes trying to accomplish but shes clearly not having any fun while doing it and her girlfriends like “i love u” and shes like “im moving out bye” and thats it

real compelling i know

so jasmine and her bff manage to stumble upon the lesbian bar in town (which dallas calls a girl party???  why??????) where dallas meets her and proceeds to be completely and utterly creepy in ways ive only ever seen men be which is the first indicator that the person who made this movie, april mullen, is maybe not gay at all (or maybe she is and just has horrible taste?? idk man).  but somehow the creepiness is a real turn on for ol’ jazzy and they start making out IMMEDIATELY but then jasmines like “i have a fiance gotta go!!!!” and yeets herself out of the situation

but of course this is a lesbian romance so u know they meet up again and proceed to have like half an hours worth of steamy gratuitous porn-style sex.  there was a lot of strap-on action involved and a lot of bizarre scissoring that i dont even think i can call scissoring cause it was more like they were just weirdly bumping their vagoos against each other and somehow that was getting them both off.  like sometimes the sex scenes in this movie bordered on tommy wiseau levels of weird. 

oh and of course the fiance finds out about this secret love affair but WOW do they really do this in the most dramatic and unintentionally hilarious way possible.  he literally comes home early from his business trip and walks in on dallas going to town on jasmine with a strap on in the bath tub, like theyre ferociously going at it.  i swear to god i felt like i was watching a comedy at times with this movie

piggybacking off of that, jesus christ this script is bad.  ooooohhhh its so bad.  dallas is given the cringiest tough guy lines, like shes drinking beers with a friend and the friend is like “oh man i gotta catch up to u” and, hilariously, dallas is like “you cant catch up cause nO oNe WiLl EvEr CaTcH mE” and i almost choked on my own saliva.  oh god wait heres another zinger, so when she first meets jasmine shes like “do u come to girl parties often (again why the everloving FUCK is she calling it a girl party????)” and jasmines like “i don’t come at all” and the next thing to come out of dallas’s suave sexy mouth is “TeRriBLe NeWs CaN i ChAnGe ThAt FoR yOu” OH my GOD

and good god shes so creepy.  like some of the shit she pulls is borderline sexual assault.  her and jasmine are just at a bar chillin and dallas reaches down and im like “oh ok shes gonna like put her hand on her knee classic move” but NOPE OH NO she just makes a beeline STRAIGHT for jasmines crotch IN THE MIDDLE OF A BAR!!!  THERE ARE PEOPLE AROUND!!!!!!  OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

at one point after another round of passionate lovemaking dallas brings jasmine back to her house and theyre in dallas’s truck and they just??  slap each other???  for no reason?????  except for True Love i guess????????????

jesus.  just.  this was an experience.  i would say dont bother watching it but i did at least have fun making fun of it so if thats ur sort of thing knock ur socks off, its on netflix.  but wow this basically fits the stereotype of a lesbian romance movie PERFECTLY, and when u really break it down its just a fancy porn.  i wouldnt even say its a porn geared towards actual wlw cause theres so many elements about the sex scenes that reminded me of the kind of lesbian porn thats made for straight men to jack off to.  0/10 BAD BYE

well shit ok i hope u all had a great valentines day!!  im gonna go start a roofing business in the hopes that i end up working on a roof of a house thats right next to a really hot straight girl with a fiance so i can try to finger-bang her in the middle of an occupied bar wish me luck!!!!!

[erethesilverking-blog]

End Haven  - Chapter 2

A continuation of the first chapter of End Haven. Though I had not written it in the post, the title of the first chapter was “The Prologue.” Please continue to read and support my work!

WARNING: If YOU are easily disturbed by themes of death or the author’s inability to differentiate between a car and a truck, please read at your own peril. If you are unsure, then please read within the proximity of someone who’d be willing to comfort you. Thank you.

Chapter 2

Pieter Believes He Is Dying; He Is Not Entirely Incorrect

Frederick had driven down the same dirt road for more than fifty years.

He’d taxied for tourists, mostly, who’d thought that they could “rejoin nature” by spending a few hours in the forest, during the warmest time of the year. Please. Those people were the same that would shrink away from stories of hunting, and killing for food, and carving up the animal.

Because when your food didn’t come in a can or on a tray, you had to catch it yourself. You had to hold the knife in one hand and the beast in the other. It would look at you, showing the whites of its eyes, and the thing’s legs would spin in the dust in hopes of running away. You had to hold that knife to the vein in the neck and you’d bring your hands together, like a conductor calling for the end to a piece.

Frederick usually stopped there, as the tourists would have shrunk so far away from him that they were at danger of falling out the window. He’d actually had that happen once, to the mortification of his wife Mari. She was sensibly afraid that they’d be sued for something-or-another, but the bruised young man had actually tipped an insensible sum, “for the trouble.” For the rest of that week, Fredrick’s food did come from a can. Lucky him.

When the warm summer months ended, good business did as well. Though on lucky years, there would be some daring individuals who’d insist on being carted around over the snow. It didn’t matter to Frederick, money was what it was.

And year round, of course, he’d hold out the hope that some scientific expedition would feel adventurous enough to embark on a surveying tour across the forests. Frederick was well known in the scientific community for helping researchers in the field, though all he did was drive in the direction they pointed and ignore their advice that would have taken the vehicle directly into a bog. They were always too haughty to ask were they might begin their search for wolves, or deer, or trees, or whatever creatures they were writing papers on. And so they’d spend hours searching in the exact opposite direction then were Frederick knew they should be.

But if the scientists actually found what they were searching for, well, bully. Fredrick didn’t care; he was paid once, up front. How far into the wilderness he was expected to drive almost always corresponded to this sum.

So when his wife returned from the post office with a small fortune, enough to send their children and grandchildren to college overseas, Fredrick knew he’d have to buy another can of gasoline.

~~~~~

And so, driving down that dirt road, Frederick had expected… more. A team of researchers perhaps, all carrying their laboratory equipment, as well as survival supplies. They’d set up camp in the middle of a field, with their hulking machines and fragile glassware, and beam spotlights well into the late hours. They’d test soil samples, or capture wildlife, or experiment on vegetation. And Frederick would be there, running the researchers and their research to and from the airstrip, ready to aid in any way he could in hopes of getting another generous portion of their grant.

Or, as Mari had entertained, it would be some film director, come to shoot scenes of a movie. He would bring a plethora of servants, to apply makeup and serve dainty foodstuffs and gather the props. He would bring actors and actresses, and they would bring acting coaches and vocal coaches, and they would bring life to the small village.

The night Frederick had first imagined this, his wife had stood up from the table they had both been eating from (a young buck, freshly butchered and stewed mere days ago). She had exclaimed her imaginings while dancing about the table, in what was almost a sing-song voice. Frederick had contented himself to watching her, mesmerized by the vigor that didn’t match the couple’s aging frames, and smiling all the while, wrinkling the skin about his eyes. He loved her and she him, and they could stand the desolate land of their livelihood together.

Finally, she turned to him, a glimmer in her eyes. Her songs ceased, snapping Fredrick out of his revere.

“And perhaps,” she purred, “They will bring along a dashing young man. No, he will be the main actor, insistent on coming here. And this man,” Mari sauntered over to Frederick. “He will be filming a scene with one of his co-stars, a passionate scene!”

“Hmm?” Frederick hummed as he turned to look at his wife.

“But this dashing little thing, he cannot get into it. He feels no emotion for the people he works with, and the director, they call out ‘Cut! Please, go out onto the town and rediscover yourself!’ And that is exactly what this man will do.” Mari draped her arms over Frederick's shoulders. “He will be wandering our little town, searching for something to re-ignite himself.”

“Hm.”

“And during his wanderings, he will see it! A sight to start fire in his heart: A beautiful grey-haired woman, resting on the sill. He can do nothing but to go immediately over to the woman and proclaim his undying love, and won’t she please run away with him? And Mari will be so flattered.”

“Mm.” His grunt had taken on a moody tone.

“But she will look that sapling straight in his eyes and say “What a haughty boy! Run home to your parents now, for I already have a lover.” And Mari will show him a picture of her Fredrick and laugh in delight as he runs to the hills.” Mari planted a kiss on her husband’s brow as she said this.

“Mm.” This grunt was cheerful and pleased, making Mari laugh at her own teasing. She hugged Fredrick and they swayed there, delighting in each other.

And it was because of this that when Fredrick went to the airstrip the next week, he was straining his ears for the roar of a large plane, the kind that could carry a director and an actor and actress and servants. He leaned against his truck and searched the sky for that jet, his wiry arms crossed.

So it was when a puddle-jumper landed in front of him that he would have hardly noticed, had not the little craft made enough noise to penetrate Fredrick’s ailing ears. Angling his head down, he didn’t have the imagination for figure out this new turn of events. From there, he’d only grow more alienated to the situation.

From out of that plane would emerge the captain. Frederick was somewhat familiar with Cammie, as she had once stayed with him and his wife on particularly stormy spring, but was unaccustomed to seeing her exit her plane often. That spring was over twenty years ago, when they were both much younger, and that was the last time he’d even seen her standing. She’d normally land, get refueled by the co-pilot, and take off again, only exchanging a wave and a wink with Fredrick.

But today, Cammie was clomp-clomping down the metal stairs that connected the craft to the ground. And on her elbow clung the single most withered man that Frederick had ever seen. His first thought at the sight wasn’t one of words, but a comparison: The scene before him was like that of a herd of deer that had passed in front of his car many years ago. The strong bucks had lead the way from one stretch of treeline to another, followed by the mother does and their staggering babies. The whole scene was commonplace, but the tourist next to Frederick still leaned forward eagerly. Frederick had watched the proceedings with a detached interest for the most part, but had joined his companion when the end of the herd passed by. At the very tail, there was a buck. Not a crippled one, mind you, but a healthy buck with rippling flanks. Resting against those flanks was a second, smaller deer. It was clearly older, it’s fur streaked with gray, but what was most impressive was that one of its hind legs was twisted about itself.

So like the healthy buck that put aside its own pride to walk the herd’s cripple, Frederick saw Cammie leading a skeleton of man, whose name he would learn later, down an iron staircase, whispering encouragement.

~~~~~

“Be careful with ‘im, Checkers.”

Fredrick reflected on these words, whispered to him by Cammie. Pieter had been loaded into the backseat of the car and had already drifted away to some other realm of his own design. Cammie had nodded toward the man before smartly saluting and turning on her heel, off to give unnecessary instructions to her co-pilot. Frederick could do nothing but watch her go, feeling helpless.

At last, with a sigh pushed through his nose, Frederick climbed into his car. He started up the engine and tapped the fuel gauge. When it seems loose enough to be accurate, he turned his attention to his rear view mirror. More fiddling, and the old man came into view. He truly was an awful sight to behold, mottled with age and scared with life, thin as a winter wolf and dry as flesh in the colder months.

Frederick considered the man for a few more moments, deciding if old was sufficient to describe him. He worked his jaw as he watched the man’s mouth peel open and listened to the sounds of barely working lungs. Rattle-attle.

Finally, Frederick was moved to action. “Where do you want-”

“The forest, if you would” the man cut in. “As deep as you can go.”

“You’re the chief.” Frederick replied without thinking, using his regular phrase for receiving directions. And the drive began. Frederick chose the longest road he knew, taking straights as fast as he could and corners as slow as possible.

They passed by forests and bogs, mines and meadows, rock outcroppings and towering trees. And for the first time in forty years, Frederick dedicated part his mind to appreciating it all; his fading passenger had shown him the error of his ways. Frederick had begun to wonder about his own time, of how much of it was left, and how it would pass. So he appreciated the life of others.

He saw the dappled patterns of sunlight dancing in gossiping groups on the wildflowers, breaking through the leaves only where the wind allowed. He felt the gentle kiss of the breeze when he took the corners and blinked away the dry-eyed tears when he took the straights. There were other tears, too, tears for the birdsong that could be heard in the trees, the chirps of songbirds and rodents who were discussing the best place to find seed, root, food. Tears for the hunting eyes that scurried away from the roaring truck, and tears for the prey that would feed the squabbling offspring. There were tears for the birds that would coast, looking for those offspring, hoping to find them alone.

There were tears for the prey that had already been found, and partially eaten. Tears for the meats that lay festering in the hot sun. Tears for the flies that would delight in finding a meal at last. Tears for the little amphibians that would also delight at a meal, upon seeing the flies.

There were tears for the little old man who deserved to live because he hadn’t done anything, he hadn’t done anything but live, but was dying just for daring to live.

And it was during the early hours of the drive that, over the wind, Frederick would hear a Rattle-attle-attle, which sounded like an -a-t-l-a-t-l- to his wind-buffeted ears. He would immediately slow the car to almost a standstill, as to hear Pieter’s next words. And though he would always expect nothing more than a mutter, at most, the words would come to him as clear as glass, as light, as life:

“Stop the car, please.”

And Frederick would put the brakes on and climb out, hustle about to the other side of the car. He would open the door and hold out his elbow for Pieter to grasp in knobby hands, then slowly lift the man down.

Once on the ground, Pieter would shake and push Frederick away. The little pilgrim would teeter-totter forward, alone, and make his way over to the center of the field, the clearing, the outcropping that had caught his eye. And there he would stand, suddenly silent as death. Fredrick would stand still as well during these moments, his hands clasped in front of him. He would bow his head in reverence to… something. What so awed him about a dying man, Frederick would wonder for the rest of his life.

And Pieter would stand, considering the swaying pines, bushes, and flowers around him. He was still in those moments, but the very act of stillness built an anticipation, an sense that something was about explode out into the world from the tiny frame of the man.

But the explosion never came. Instead, Pieter would begin to sway alongside the very plants he had studied seconds before, copying their rhythm. New moments of peace had come. Then, the wind would kick up for a moment and the very highest leaves would be kicked into a frenzy. Pieter would, for a breath, attempt to copy the fury, but lose his balance and fall back. His foot would always catch him and he’d turn the fall into a trot.

And trot he would, back to Frederick and back to the car. He would be helped up and settle back into his revere, leaving Fredrick to climb back into the car and resume driving.

This happened more than twelve times that afternoon.

As the sun was setting, Pieter was almost lost to the world. Frederick was content with just driving, though. He had done so for more than fifty years and another night wouldn’t hurt him. He shifted in his seat and found a more comfortable situation, which, as anyone would know, would mean that it was the perfect time for the truck to run out of gasoline.

After the vehicle had puttered to a stop, Frederick hopped out of the car and to the boot. Rooting past rations, a hatchet, and a coil of rope, he came upon the extra can of gasoline. Hup. He brought it around the car and emptied it inside, shaking the red plastic to get every last drop out. Back around. Frederick replaced the can and shut the boot, just in time to see Pieter close the door to his seat.

“Pieter?” Frederick asked. The man ignored him and hobbled into to the treeline. “Pieter, we are out of gas,” he continued. “We must get back into the car and turn around, I’m afraid. Perhaps we can try to go further another time, yeah?”

Pieter, leaning one hand on a trunk, bent over and picked up a branch. It had come from the upper reaches of a nearby fallen tree. It was long and sturdy, almost perfect for bracing oneself on.

Rattle-attle-attle. ”If you must turn around, Fredrick, then by all means, do so.” -attle. “But I am content with going on from here.”

“But, but… how will you get back?” Fredrick could not imagine Pieter making it even one hundred paces without dying of exhaustion.

Rattle-attle. “Young man, it was never my intention to get back anywhere. This is a one way trip for me.”

Pieter tried to digest this, but found himself struggling to accept it. Though his breath quickened and he inhaled, though he flexed his vocal chords, he could not form a word. No, he could not even think.

Rattle-attle. “Tell me. Why did that woman call you Checkers?”

That was something that Fredrick could handle, something that he could understand and reply to. “During a stormy season many years ago, she and I lived together while she waited for an opening, to fly away, you see.”

Pieter nodded.

“And- and to pass the time, we would play,” Frederick’s hands when up in a shrug, then down again to pat his legs. “We would play checkers. And I, I always won, so she, Cammie started calling me… Checkers.”

Pieter nodded.

Rattle. “Take care, then.”

“Oh- okay.”

Frederick could do nothing then, but watch as the little old deer walked off into the dark woods.

And Frederick could do nothing but drive, but stare blankly ahead.

He could do nothing but park his car, just in front of his little cottage.

He could do nothing but lie down next to Mari.

He could do nothing.

He’d done nothing.

And that was Chapter Two of End Haven. I thought I’d play a bit more with imagery, and definitely abused repetition. But I enjoyed writing it (Took 12 hours and I took no breaks because masochism), all the same. And I hope you enjoy reading it!

And now the hardest part... tagging! I can do this... Okay!

@cookiecuttercritter​ , @cawolters​ , @vhum​ , @loveisaplotdevice​ , @magsiswriting​ , @ellelalee​ , @missanthropicprinciple​

As always, if you know me, then you know me. And if you don’t, well, you’re at the bottom of the page already, aren’t ‘cha?

Thanks in advance!

[jane-wei]

3am bordem

1 Favorite place to be?

A quiet cinema with a massive screen

2 Something I can never live without?

Water

3 Hobbies that I’ll never give up?

baking

4 Three words to describe me?

Proffestional, day dreamer, loyal

5 My biggest fear?

ebaressment

6 What makes me angry?

ignorance towards others

7 My inspiration?

creativity and passion of others

8 Favorite wild animal? Why?

any big cats, because they literally are just big cats

9 Favorite food?

pizza, always

10 First memory of life?

probably playing with lego and having my dad make me spaceships out of lego

11 The best advice I got?

write every day

12 Where do I see myself in 10 years?

hopfully own my own flat or house, maybe running my own production company, maybe acting in some plays

13 Books reading these days?

im not a big reader, but when i read i read loads, i must read DUNE soon

14 The fictional character I want to be?

Luke Skywalker

15 My hidden talents?

quiet farts

16 Favorite type of music?

electronic or classical, if its both at the same time its magic

17 When do I feel happy?

when things are going right for collegues or loved ones

18 Which song would I like to hear to be happy?

duran duran ordinary world

19 My favourite word in English?

surety

20 My favorite word in Spanish?

da nada, that count as two?

21 Top 3 things on my bucket list?

visit hobbiton, sky diving, meet mark hamill

22 The most heard song in 2017?

redbone by childish gambino

23 Last book you’ve read?

probably a comic book or an excerpt from a book on how to direct actors

24 Favorite quote?

All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king. 

J.R.R. Tolkien

25 If I had a superpower what would it be?

Creating objects, although that has a lot of responsibility, but it would end world hunger

26 Favorite sport?

rugby, its the only one id watch begining to end, but to play definatly badmington, brutal game

27 Biggest Dream?

be a jedi

28 Favorite Singer?

the chap who won x factor uk last year, Dalton Harris, that guy can create magic

29 Favourite Cusine?

italian

30 A positive quality about me?

I want to know what you have to say, i might get  nervous at the answer or speaking other people in general but im interested

31 A negative quality about me?

push down my self confidence

32 Best place I’ve visited?

brecon beacons in wales

33 When do I laugh the most?

when something is funny, but also breaking through social conventions in a dark kinda way, nothing insulting just a little dark here and there

34 When do I get creative?

when travelling, trains and buses are great, but only when i can see a wide vista, so trains goign through the countryside are ideal, or in a creative soace with othe rlike minded creatives. enough of creativity for now eh?

35 Favorite lyrics?

nothing overlly specific, but i like Plan B’s stuff, Radiohead always do somethign interesting, A Tribe Called Quest are geniuses with words

36 The most scary thing I’ve done?

confront people, its tough, especially when you know something has to be resolved by words and talking

37 Biggest accomplished achievement?

going to film school, something i thought was impossible for a working class lad like me

38 What am I horrible at?

not keeping healthy

39 Favorite book genres?

sci fi and fantasy for sure

40 Any adventurous thing I want to do?

travel

41 Something I would like to try?

sports, i feel that if i was encouraged at school in sports id be a real jockey

42 Optimistic or pessimistic?

depends on the day, optimistic is the goal, that way your always looking up

43 Favorite TV show host?

Mel and Sue, old school bake off

44 A talent I want to acquire?

playing the violin and anoy other musical instrument i can egt my hands on

45 Something from my childhood that I still have?

1 teddy bear and 1 fluffy teddy style cat, those are going to be family heirlooms

46 If I had a chance to change something what would it be?

death of family members, but you cant dwell on such things, itll drive you mad

47 What would I do to calm myself?

music and cleaning

48 When do you find yourself singing?

while out walking or home alone

49 What do I consider unforgivable?

any attack on others, physical, psycological, verbal, insinuated

50 Have I ever sleepwalked?

as a kid yes but not since, if i did id definatly wear some kind of body camera and find out where id go

51 If I got a chance to go somewhere, where will it be?

everywhere, every continant at least 5 times

52 What is my dream career?

feature film writer/director

53 An impossible wish?

a real lightsaber

54 Who is my greatest role model?

i like elders who are accepting of others and those who take great joy in heling others

55 If I could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?

does the U.S.S ENTERPRISE count?

56 Favorite song currently?

Tiny Dancer by Elton John

57 Advice to people?

try to be understanding of others, dont put yourself or your skills down, make every day count, give yourself some credit for what youve done so far, make sure you get a little tlc every now and again

58 How do you handle jetlag?

sleep

59 Describe your style?

nerd

60 Favorite makeup product?

i dont use any, but i do get asked if i use mascara, all natural

61 What’s a guilty pleasure you have?

early naughties action movies, Van Heling with Hugh Jackman the main culprit

62 Favorite Star Wars Character?

The crew of the Ghost, you could never pick one over the other

63 Any pet peeve?

laughs with high pitches

64 If you could die your hair, what color would it be?

red

65 What’s your schedule these days?

in need of a job so a lot of job hunting, school is 2 days a week(ish) got a few writing jobs so putting pen to paper, need to start learnig lines for a play in the summer

66 Have you ever cut your own hair?

only the fringe and i didnt think it was that bad but when i got into school EVERYONE laughed #embaressmentismykryptonite

67 Who’s your style icon?

my friend zach, simple gorgeous colors

68 Do you consider yourself a good liar?

if the lie is a simple one

69 Favorite movies as a child?

star wars, star trek, lord of the rings, predator which i watched way before i was supposed to, i was also in the spy kids generation

70 Last show you’ve binge watched?

star wars rebels and the eric andre show

71 First toy you’ve had?

probably my teddies, but i do remember having star wars actions figures and lego very early on

72 What can you see from your window?

a main road which many buses travel down, a bus stop, a residential row of houses leading to a park, a betting shop

73 What’s for dinner today?

my other half makes great tempe and gyoza

[gretavanfleetposts]

hi!! I’d like to request a ship :)

my name is elizabeth I’m 20 years old and my pronouns are she/her. I’m super into reading, writing, music, film, photography, painting, drawing, basically anything creative or related to art. I’m also interested in politics and activism. I’m not gonna put a pic cause I’m anon lol but I’m 5’6 ish, thin, I have blue eyes, shoulder length pink hair, and nose and ear piercings. I also have several tattoos. I’m a cancer sun, leo moon, and leo rising. I like reading my horoscope but I need to educate myself a bit more about astrology lol. I’m pretty introverted. I have a lot of social anxiety but when I’m comfortable with people I like to joke around constantly and laugh as much as possible. My favorite movie right now is the florida project, I like A24 movies a lot. I also like to watch documentaries and true crime shows/movies. A skill or talent I think I have is writing, that’s probably my strong suit. I’m pretty good at photography as well. My go to song when I’m sad is probably, ironically, “sad” by bo burnham. that’s if I just need to laugh but if I need more than that I listen to “always there” by gvf cause it’s so sweet. There are a lot of things that are important to me in a partner but a couple main things are: someone who has similar values, a good sense of humor, honesty, patience, kindness, respect, awareness, just to name a few. my favorite item of clothing I own right now is a pair of sweatpants from pacsun that are incredibly warm and soft. I’ve basically been living in sweat pants since the pandemic and I’m not complaining. I prefer to be casual but I also like dressing to the nines occasionally for fun. I don’t have any pets right now but my favorite animal is a raccoon. one thing I love about myself is my hair because I’m always changing the color and style and I just have fun with it, my hair has been every color of the rainbow. this wasnt a prompt but something I know isn’t super positive about me is I’m very opinionated and I will argue about things I feel strongly about, which is a lot of stuff haha. do what you will with that info. lastly, my ideal date depends on how I’m feeling. if I’m feeling outgoing a fancy dinner in the city is always welcome, but if I’m feeling introverted a good movie night and pizza is perfect. Im excited to see who you ship me with!!! <3

I would love to ship you, my dear. And I ship you with Jake!

I usually ship all of my pink-haired besties with Sam because we all know how much he likes that. But you were giving me strong Jake vibes. I mean, you're creative, artistic, passionate, you like to be cozy and comfortable, and you're a little bit loud about your opinions. You're a great match for Jake, come on. Like obviously you'll have fun together, watching movies, listening to records, reading books, all that fun stuff. But you'll also have this boy fighting for his life while you're laying out all of the reasons he's wrong about one thing you feel very strongly about. As you should. And, although he's stubborn, I think that would be something he actually really loves about you. You'd keep him on his toes. Don't get me wrong, he'd be comfortable around you. He can talk to you and be honest with you. But you're relationship wouldn't be boring and that's important too.

- ⭐

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