#idk its been a good day actually.
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id fumble him so bad
#really really rushed but ill probably go back and clean these up tmrw anyway#i havent played stardew valley but ive been meaning to because i have a little crush on this guy ^_^ hes cute#idk why but smth about him is really endearing. like between him and sunburst i feel like theres a pattern here but idk what#i guess my type is boys that whimper#the last two images are based on a real conversation i had with my doctor a few years ago lol. deadass stared at me for a good 2 minutes#i wanna make a farmersona too...... if my minecraft gameplay is anything to go by id probably play with animals all day instead of#actually farming........ can i just do livestock in stardew.. i dont have a green thumb i managed to kill a succulent once......#actually idk if my computer is even strong enough to run steam but i dont wanna get it on my phone. maybe ill get the microsoft download#unless stardew has its own website like minecraft. i really dont know anything abt it so im going in blind from the start#my art#myart#doodles#puppysona#sona#sdv#sdv harvey#stardew valley#whats funny about this is i have a classmate who kinda looks like if brian david gilbert and harvey had a baby. i havent told him this
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sb humanizations + various vannys :3
#my art#fnaf#security breach#five nights at freddy's#so can i tag everyone or would that just be annoying. oh well#glamrock freddy#glamrock chica#glamrock bonnie#roxanne wolf#montgomery gator#monty gator#djmm#dj music man#daycare attendant#sundrop#sunnydrop#vanny fnaf#vanny#vanessa sb#<- idk how to tag her HFJSGJKD#ANYWAYYYY i've been learning how to incorporate cheekbones into the faces i draw#bc i want to draw vanessa's face similarly to the proportions of the vanny mask (with the big cheeks and slim face)#but it's also just something i've been really wanting to do anyway.. i've even been referencing the way team f/rtress 2 stylizes the faces#of all the mercs and stuff. bc i used to be obsessed with that game but i could never actually draw the characters properly#and it's been sooo SO helpful for me. its like a night and day transition for my art it's craaazy#anyway as for the other designs here.... these are all completely improvised Except for sun bc i've drawn this human sun before and i have#a general idea of what i want. but for the others idk if i'll draw them this exact way again in the future lmao. but i think they're still#pretty good for what they are !!!!#anyway i will stop rambling now HFKAJFKSG bye
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insomnia? do u mean my true crime podcast time
#u know bc now I can convince my brain I slept a little bc I had my eyes closed for like 2h while listening to it#it’s like u can almost gaslight it into thinking that that podcast was actually dreaming bc we for sure were asleep yes#also this sucks bc it’s ahead of its schedule; I can’t sleep during summers so like what is this then#the climate change is affecting my insomnia cycle damnit#real unfortunate tho if it keeps going for longer (just been like 2ish weeks now) bc I got a thesis plus other shit to do#(also to anyone who’s unclear on the subject; yes I have slept during these 2ish weeks I'm not dying i'm just hella tired bc it’s not good#refreshing long sleeps bc mf it takes like 5 hours to fall asleep)#(except today bc it’s 7am and I’m giving up on it & hopefully will have a nap sometime during the day idk)#(im tired and getting increasingly more stressed abt becoming more tired and then not having the energy to do things that I fully neeed to#get done and how the stress just yes helps ah nice)#(sorry for ranting in thr tags; weird state of mind here bc of aforementioned)#march 2024#2024
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Drops this for @less-depresso-more-espresso’s 7k DTIYS. Collapses.
#NO BUT WHY WAS THIS SO HARD ITS BEEN FOUR DAYS#please ignore the background I am not good at that shit#Idk if the original is actually a madoka magica reference but it is to me now#tmnt#rottmnt#espresso 7k dtiys#terrapin art
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Got my first shrimp goby pair last week and this is my impression of them so far.
#Art#Fish#Fishblr#Fish art#My art#The fish is fine btw just a coward#Though I do think he might have gotten a small concussion from his two escape attempts#Jumped out of the tank literally at one in the morning and then an hour later at two in the morning it was a miracle I was awake during this#I have since covered the food holes in the lid with heavy objects#It gave me a heart attack on day two cuz I thought it was dead#I even poked it with a stick and it didn’t react at all#Luckily I left it in there and it was up and going about six hours later and has since been behaving normally#It is eating tho which is a good sign#Tested my paremetres and there’s nothing wrong with the water so ╮(╯_╰)╭#Shrimp is delightful to watch#She explores the tank a lot and is super cute#Idk what the sex of the fish is but I’m pretty confident that the shrimp is a girl#Has snapped once and I was unprepared for how loud they actually are in person#The fish cuddles the shrimp with its tail and they’re super cute#They gave me a stress for a few days but everything’s stable now so#10/10 aquarium pets#Aquarium stuff
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(click for better resolution, etc.)
#adamandi#ambrose wellington bassford#infer as you will i suppose. wanted to draw a statue ambrose but accidentally painted it because smth smth blending fits him#again. main things taken from lyrics of the actual show ++ this definition i checked with google because i didn't remember it off the top#of my head. but Thoughts indeed#sfgdhhdf ok hello i am back today has been a Day (not very good) (oh well) (small mercies) ...#did not expect the melliot to find this so quickly but since i guess the Official Tumblr has reblogged it i'll just edit this one.#as opposed to reuploading. o//o#i painted it at 2am on impulse and have very little recollection of the whole event -? and then in a fit of pique added words and posted it#it is Very different from the original draft. i'd like to maybe do that one justice someday... anyways something something sometimes#a piece of art you make organically Evolves of its own volition... anyways.#maybe i'm projecting but recently (tuesday?) i found out something Important i had in the works Collapsed in the kiln#kaboom. ah the perils of ceramics. anyway thanks to the messed up 3d of everything i'm working on rn (the pros and cons of visual art subj#is that you get to make art for a grade) and. ceramics and sculpture and classics etcetera. <blinks> wow i really latched on to art aspects.#but nevertheless! ambrose brainrot real. iirc my thoughts were smth like. most strongly. that contrapposto? based on my school art history#was that it evolved from the very neutral rigid ancient greek sculptures of people which were all about Mathematical Symmetry. because#the main thing about contrapposto was that it reflected irl people more... more life-like? so it's very ironic to me#that Alive ambrose went and tried to turn himself into a statue. with part of the draw being contrapposto.. like?????#ah yes you like this sculpture because it's lifelike. and you'd rather be a sculpture than alive huh. the contrasts are !! in my head#also maybe i just.. wanted to paint... idk i had ambrose on the brain yesterday and it was something about sculptural messed up perfection#fun fact!!! the skin and hair i all greyed out to look like marble. fun fact number two: he has no eyes in this. like no pupils :3#fun fact number 3 (irrelevant) marble statues are only common wrt ancient greece bc the romans iirc came along and repurposed the bronzes.#because apparently bronze was a Hot Commodity at the time. and in return to preserve the art they made marble replicas. so most marble#ancient greek statues are apparently copies and the originals had totally different aesthetics#fun fact number 4: the background is a very greyed out image of my broken ceramics.. i wanted something nice to come out of it at least#fun fact number 5: i wanted to make him crack. like shattered ceramic or smth. that was the original idea. but instead it went to the pretty#sculpture route... kinda wanna make the messed up one though!!#fun fact number 6! because of Art Studio i'm covered in white paint and like it doesn't come off so it's been on my fingers and arms and#basically everywhere. so flesh turning into white stuff aes is fascinating i wanna explore... fun fact no.7.. i have accidentally maybe#began using screenshots as drawing practice. idk what to do with this info. if anything nice turns up ig i'll post it maybe
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<3
#riddlebat#edward nashton#fanart#digital illustration#im kinda late to the one year anniversary of the movie but ive never been any good with dates and such#like i saw people anticipating it but i still wound up doing something very last minute haha#i might print this one to sell locally but im not really hopeful that its gonna sell#im really banking on the pr/oseka prints im gonna do to finance my riddlebat dependence#i might remove the text too and do it by hand with an actual sharpie#to add to the creepy vibes#oh idk if ive said on here already this but im pretty active on insta if you want you can check that out#its the same username so it should be easy to find#have a nice day and again happy one year to these weirdos<3
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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'All-Seeing' Eyes
Killjoy week 2023 day 3 :) @chaos-in-bright-pink-hair-dye hope you like it!
#making this was actually a really good distraction#um also this was like everything im obsessed with about party poison#lowkey foreshadowing#also its ironic cuz the camera wires have been severed so ha#idk what red lights on cameras mean and frankly idc#“bela stop drawing party poison do someone else” no.#i could talk about this drawing for so so long and will do so if anyone asks#i also have a timelapse video#anyway#danger days#party poison#danger days are not mcr#ttlotfk#Killjoys week 2023
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hi everyone :’) i havent been on tumblr much lately because i am 1) not watching anything and 2) still dealing with the effects of a bunch of fun medical stuff! i am doing ok but my body hates me so so so much lately. i have the energy and ability(?) to do only a few very specific things right now (play elden ring, let youtube forcefeed me kpop videos, languish) and that does not include watch show or make gif or even write no matter how much i might want to. so. this is how it is haha. miss u guys
#it feels silly to make a post like this when im still on here nearly every day but i Feel disconnected. yknow#like i rb something once a day. i hardly talk to my mutuals. idk#i post vaguely often about my Medical Situation but. i think it might be good if i clarify so#this year since april ive been dealing with a sudden and long-term resurgence of pain that ive had before#originally we thought it was ovarian cysts (which ive been troubled by before)#but that got ruled out mostly. so#my doctor ‘diagnosed’ it as endometriosis (note quotes; it’s apparently not possible to diagnose endo without a surgery which i havent had)#(and so this is just an educated guess on her part and on mine. but a decent one)#i went on hormone meds for that which dont seen to be working for the endo but do regulate other things#but that significantly worsened my depression#so im on ssris now#theres also some other issues with me i dont care to disclose here#and its really just been A Lot#right now the ssris are on a very low dose but they are making me brutally dizzy and nauseous also.#i keep trying to be optimistic and then i get dunked on. but i will keep hoping#it will pass but fuck could it pass faster#rowan chatter#i have actually managed to write some despite all this. but show watching has fallen to the wayside
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the current state of the arg
sorry guys the art isnt arting D:
(btw if youre confused on why i drew turnip like that i was referencing the picrew he did ages ago bc idk it looked fun to draw anddd i dont like taking reference off real life images)
#i felt like just a lillll bit of a creep relistening to voice messages over and over to find a good quote but. yk what. it was worth it#i totally didnt take reference from the really cool face i used in that animation because im still really proud of it#idk if emi or TD have a sona but if they do im not aware of it and i didnt feel like asking so i just drew both of them as blank characters#im too stressed to scheme lol#maybe#just maybe#i need to stop drinking tea because the caffiene makes me anxious#...#naaaaahhhh#i dont really know what to do with myself atm because i dont want to work on the animation unless turnon is ok out of pure spite#this morning i was absolutely radiating stress#i have a friend who shows up so we can walk together to school and she could tell smth was off lol#i literally could not hide it at all even if i wanted too#i kept pulling my hat over my face thats the main way you can tell that im stressed#not that it really matters that you know that bc none of you are ever gonna witness that but. fun fact abt me ig#ugh#if turnon dies i am gonna cry so hard <333#and i wont finish the animation <333333333#(at this point just trying anything to get turnon back)#im gonna make a word doc#i make word docs when im stressed /hj#quick question turnip : is there a way to get turnon out of the situation he is in or is he just gonna die and theres nothing we can do#about it /gen#because i have a sneaky suspicion that we cant actually do anything about this#i swear to god#LETS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!!#A DEFRAG MIGHT COME OUT TMR!!#its been 21 days and a defrag takes on average 20-25 days#ough#turnip and addon im gonna find where you live and i will burn your respective houses down
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if i do "?" in text i'm genuinely tilting my head like a dog if i do "!!" my eyes are sparkling and i am figuratively wagging my tail if i am IN ALL CAPS i'm screaming from the top of a mountain with all the power i can with love and the strength of RAGHHH within me
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#sorry guys. i will not shut up.#honestly i really miss it here on tumblr SNIFFS ..... i say this sm tho but damn real/offline life has really been fun <33#anyway. meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow me#very good day ty to those who greeted me anywhere or even just liked a post as a little hi hbd or just acknowledgement ya know arghhh arghhh#I'M SO TIRED NOW ACTUALLY i'm on 5 battery but watch me keep talking (writing) some more#i'm insane btw i went out w friends earlier this tuesday (love them sm) and then. they pitched in to buy me the origin of species bcs i've#been wanting the book LMFAO AS A BDAY GIFT IDK IT'S SO FUNNY TO ME BUT GENUINELY I'M SO HAPPY (NERD) <333#and today i've talked a lot again w one best friend and another of my dearest friends and another too and idk fun day fr#okay i shut up now#that's a lie btw who knows when i will shut up#i might shut up now actually actually#actually i like rambling it's so fun teehee#BUT YEAH TY AGAIN ... genuinely makes me so happy i feel so giddy i was scared today would turn out bad and hey it isn't perfect but to me#it kinda is. in its own way. imperfectly perfect ^_^ <3 yeehaw!!
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I miss being younger and believing the queer community was actually a safe space
#turns out white queers hate poc just as much as literally every other white person ever 💔#big bummer for young me man I feel like the part of me that still believed in people being inherently good broke a little more that day#That sounds super dramatic but it's true in a way#hard to have faith in the inherent kindness of humanity when u grow up black in a predominantly white area 💀#this just reminded me but those positivity posts that r like 'people Are kind' and then like say smth oddly profound kind of make me hopeful#but then just kind of upset#they always feel like theyre comming from a place of privilege yknow#like bro i wish strangers were nice to me out of actual kindness#and not a weird need to prove to the world that theyre not racist without actually putting in any effort to be antiracist#'hey look at me treating this black like a human being! see? im an ally! i posted black sqaures in 2020 and have blm in my bio!'#this is bc my local juneteenth festival got canceled due to lack of funding bc. yknow its been 4yrs#everyones (white ppl) moved on#they dont care anymore and they dont need to bc they alr did the bare minimum to absolve themselves of guilt#rant#ig im lucky i live in a super queer town but its so overwhelmingly white it kind if cancels that out yknow#personal#okay to reblog#if u want to ig idk#moth.txt
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I hate when I’ll be complaining about some stupid bullshit a coworker does to other coworkers and half the time their response is to lower their voice and go “well…. You know…. I’m pretty sure they’re… on the spectrum, you know?” And every time I have a split second when I have to consider saying “you know I’m autistic, right?” just to make them vaguely uncomfortable for a few minutes and actually think about what they’re implying but of course I do not do that because the gratification is not worth a large sect of shitty coworkers knowing that about me and then talking about me like that every time I do something vaguely annoying or dumb but man…. It does get tempting sometimes
#like idk!!! sometimes the coworkers in question DO display some common autistic traits#but that is NEVER what is being complained about (at least not by me) so WHY are we bringing it up like that el oh el#like when I say ‘yeah I don’t like this coworker because of the shitty fucking things she did to my friend’#the response should not be ‘well I think she’s autistic isn’t that so funny she’s so obsessive about stuffed animals it’s annoying’#shut up shut up SHUT UP AND DIE#I don’t CARE that they talk too loud I don’t CARE that they’re bad a social cues I don’t CARE that they do ‘weird things’#and it’s so. HFDJSJKSKSKS AAAGGHHHHH#whether they’re autistic or not MAYBE that’s not what should be getting brought up during a conversation like that when it has NOTHING to do#with it#also maybe we shouldn’t be doing shit like whispering ‘on the spectrum’ like its some awful terrible thing#just thoughts idk#and the thing is too is that even if I told these ppl I was autistic#they would 100% be the types that are like ‘oh? but you don’t ACT autistic I don’t think you are’#like actually I got very good at masking for these reasons thnx#also you think autism = Sheldon from the Big Bang theory and nothing else#but I already learned my lesson cuz I told a coworker that I wasn’t sure about exactly twice#one of them went ‘oh THATS why you’re so dumb and don’t realize when other ppl don’t like you and take advantage of you’#and then the other one went on a mansplaining spiel about how me being autistic was why adhd meds didnt work on me??????#so yeah. never doing that again. haha. hahahaha. hahahaha……#this actually happened a few days ago but it’s been Bothering me so much#I hate my fucking job….#kaz rambles
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That one text screenshot going around has been living in my mind rent free and I had to do something about it. Anyway, gay people! Risu is fun to draw even if it's just shitty doodles.
#dorohedoro#dhdr#drhdr#kaiman#risu dorohedoro#recall draws#fandom posting#idk what abbrev is actually used on tumblr so i used both lmao#anyway this series has also been living rent free in my mind since i finished it a few days ago its so good#everyone should go read it and see these fcking gay freaks in the wild#risus great top 10 kitty coded guys of all time#he looks terrible and its rlly hot of him
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wowgh.... my first free day in weeks tomorrow.....
#i have finished school.....#graduation ceremony is in a few days....#ill have like..................Actual free time again...#thats Wild#i legit was doing school shit from pretty much the moment i woke up till almost the moment id go to sleep for like#3 weeks?#more?#idk#wild shit#i gotta like.... think about Job shit soon...#but for now....................... i will just enjoy having some time to myself...#might try n do some ask blogging again soon :')c#rambles#was like actually sure id fail for a good while there... cus of how much my hand was limiting what i could do#which made me have to change my project super last minute to something more realistic#but i was pretty much starting from scratch.....😭😭😭😭#whihc.... may not have actually been all that realistic lmao#(hence the 3 week non stop working#ok no i checked n its been like probably 5 or 6 weeks damn ok)#but i lived so 🎉🎉🎉🎉#and got a good grade :')
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