#idk maybe i'm just tired and on my period and that's why i feel so like WAH right now

[talkorsomething]

I have Got to get more transgender

[radicalcoffeeclub]

Honestly I'm sick and tired of the "periods shouldn't be so painful they impact your life! :)) go see a doctor and they'll make it go away!! :)))" take.

I have very painful periods. I've seen a doctor many times and there is nothing physically wrong with me. I've tried hormonal treatments (otherwise known as birth control) and they have only helped marginally while causing a host of side effects that worsened my quality of live even more. What am I supposed to do other than get my painkiller (aleve) prescription filled? There are no treatments to help me.

I feel like the options for a woman are 1) your periods bother you minimally if at all and chocolate is enough to fix it, or 2) you're Abnormal and Sick and should Go See a Doctor About It. Like, sometimes periods just are painful and really do have a detrimental effect on your quality of life, but it's not an illness, it's a normal and healthy bodily function despite the negative effects. Can't I just take some time off and rest like I need to? Chill for a few days or a week without someone saying "that's ruining your life and sounds like a disease"? Knowing that my body is doing what it needs to and giving myself the peace, rest and nourishment I need and deserve.

I'm just tired of people acting like periods should never affect a woman's life at all. It's denial of reality. We don't want to face women's pain. Maybe some women claim that because we're afraid that saying that will declare our supposed inferiority to men. But who made that negative value judgement and why? It's a neutral fact of life for many women.

Idk where I was going with this, might continue this later. Anyway

[mrsrileywrites]

Hi! I read lots of your work and im SO IN LOVE!!! Like I absolutely fell so hard for papa simon 😭😭 i wanna give him a babyy! But i was wondering, how would pregnancy be like with his child. I mean bro is HUGE so his baby would probably be not only pretty big and probably weight a little bit more too than an average newborn. If its okay with you would it be possible for you to write a little story maybe add a little bit of angst? (Idk like argument about something that made the reader really sad?) but please a happy ending 🥹

Feel free to ignore if thats not your thing or just not feeling comfortable writing about it!! LOVE YOUU!! Btw sorry for any misspelling English is not my first language.

First of, as a not native English speaker, your English is perfect.

And second, thank you for your kind words, it really encourages me to keep writing and also boosts my ego 😁

You asked in such a nice and respectful way so I really want to make you happy.

Now here's the thing, I'm an adult with lots of responsibilities and sometimes adulting makes me tired, like last night when I was trying to finish this but I fell asleep and I woke up this morning to find half of my writing disappeared, it just vanished 🥲

But I'll give you this to munch on and I promise I'll finish this before the end of the week.

I hope this is what you were expecting... Enjoy 🫶

A little over 700 words.

_______________________

You stood in front of the sink of your bathroom, holding a pregnancy test on your shaky hands, two little red lines staring right back at you.

How did this happen? How would you tell him? He doesn't want kids, he made it clear from the beginning and you accepted it without a fuss, that's why you've been taking your pills diligently every day, you didn't forget one, did you?... No, you know you didn't, how did this happen?

"You okay there, love?" Simon knocks on the bathroom door and you jump in surprise, like a child that's been caught red handed.

"Y-yes Si, j-just give me a minute... I'll be right there." Your period is about three weeks late so you bought a pregnancy test, your best friends advice, it wouldn't hurt, it was just to make sure, you certainly were not expecting this.

You hid the test on the cabinet under the sink and washed your face before coming out.

It's been a week since your ob-gyn confirmed a six weeks pregnancy and you still haven't found the courage nor the right time to break the news to Simon, so when he gets a call from Price to get deployed on a long mission you fear it would be too late by the time he comes back.

One month at most he said when he kissed you goodbye almost two months ago, you are 16 weeks into your pregnancy and your bump is starting to show, which only adds to your anxiety, between the morning sickness and your hormones being all over the place you still haven't figured out how to tell him.

As you ponder how to break the news to him, you realize that a simple phone call wouldn't suffice. With him stationed on the other side of the globe, risking his life every day, you hesitate to burden him further. At the same time, you know it wouldn't be ideal for him to return home and suddenly find you waddling around with a baby bump.

So you stay quiet and whenever he calls and asks why you sound so exhausted you blame it on your job, you say you are just stressed out, and he promises he'll take care of you once he's back, he'll relieve you from the stress the way you like it, the way only he knows how to.

You are laying on the couch wearing Simon's t-shirt, stuffing yourself with your favorite ice cream and watching trash tv when you hear fumbling outside your front door before it swings open, a very rugged Simon stands in the threshold , you curse under your breath, he didn't say he was coming home the last time you talked on the phone three days ago so you stand there and look at him overly conscious of the bump hiding under his t-shir and you thank the heavens he is a big man, you think the loose fit of his T-shirt would buy you time, your ice cream long forgotten in the coffee table.

He walks towards you with long strides as he pulls his balaclava over his head running his fingers through his messy hair and you shy away, you step back and freeze, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights, he stops in his tracks and tilts her head, his eyebrows pinch as his eyes linger on your midsection and you know you're fucked, he noticed, how wouldn't he, and you hope and pray he'd say something, anything, but he doesn't, he turns on his heels ready to walk out.

"Simon wait!" You call for him and he stops, his hand lingers on the door knob, "I can explain, please just hear me out" your voice cracks and you wish you had been brave enough to tell him before, you know about his childhood and his trauma, you know his struggles and why he didn't want children in the first place, he trusted you and you broke his trust, you deceived him from the moment you found out you were pregnant and decided to keep it to yourself because you were too scared to trust him back.

"Explain what?" He shouts turning around and walking towards you again, your hands fly to your belly instinctively, protective. You lower your head, eyes glued to the floor, ashamed.

[entitled-fangirl]

Little bird.

Pelle x reader

Summary: the reader has had enough of the Harga, and is determined to leave. Pelle would never let that happen.

Warnings: Manipulation, kidnapping, drugging, cult shit idk

A/N: this was based off an ask!

Masterlist

.....................................................................

Y/n leaned against Josh as the group all chatted and watched the locals in their traditions of the day.

She wasn't exactly sure why she was invited, and it was eating at her. 

Maybe just because she was Christian's little sister, and they felt pity leaving her behind. 

She had nothing in common with them besides their college. 

She was a sophomore health major with no interest in studying anthropology, yet here she was in the middle of god knows where in Sweden with her brother and his friends. 

It was becoming overwhelming. 

She sat forward and rubbed her forehead, as if trying to wipe the bad thoughts away. 

Pelle noticed from beside her and leaned towards her, "Is everything alright?"

She looked up at him with a furrowed brow. "w… what?"

"You look troubled," he replied. 

Christian turned his attention to her, "What's the matter?"

She sighed and pushed herself up to stand. "I'm just tired. I… I think I'll go rest."

Christian nodded and his attention was gone from her once again. 

She walked away, the steps feeling like forever. 

But Pelle watched her the entire way, his eyes set on her nervous frame and frustrated movements.

He turned to Mark, "Do you think she's upset with us?"

Mark shrugged, "She'll be fine. Probably her period or some shit."

Josh scoffed, "Wow. Real nice, Mark."

The rest of the conversation was lost because Pelle couldn't stop his mind from wandering. 

Finally, he stood as well, "I have work to do. If you need anything, anyone would be happy to answer questions."

The group seemed disinterested from questioning him and barely acknowledged him as he left. 

…

Y/N had rushed into the Harga. Her breath was ragged and a panic attack was beginning to form. 

She had to get away. 

She began to clumsily throw all of her belongings onto her bed. 

"What are you doing?" A soft voice asked. 

Her head snapped up to Pelle.

"What are you doing?" He repeated. 

She said nothing, beginning to pack faster as she felt her eyes water. 

"Hey. Hey. Talk to me." He began to talk steps towards her. 

She shook her head, "I can't. I can't."

"You can't what? Stop." When she didn't, he quickly closed the gap and took her wrists in his hands gently, "Stop that."

She now looked to him and watched his eyes soften at the sight of her watery eyes. 

"Oh," he cooed. "I've never seen you so upset, little bird."

"Please, Pelle. I wanna go home."

His blue eyes watched as a single tear fell down your cheek. "I have been an awful host to you, haven't I?"

"No. No." She pulled her hands from his to wipe at her face, "It's not that."

"What is it then?" 

"Why am I here, Pelle?" She asked with a light hiccup and sob.

His brows furrowed for just a second before he recovered, "What do you mean?"

"Why did you invite me?"

"I wanted to." He tried to reason with her. "You're close to me, and I wanted to show you my homeland. I'm quite proud of it…."

"I know. I know. But…"

His voice lowered, "But what?"

When she didn't answer, he continued, "I know it's unlike American customs. And I know it's a lot to take in. But it's home."

"It's your home, Pelle. Not mine." 

The slightest of twitches came to his eyes and a dark look flashed over them, "While you're here, it's your home, too."

She cried out, "I don't want this! I don't want to be here-"

"-You don't mean that."

"I do!" She yelled, "I do, Pelle!"

"Quiet yourself."

"Do not," she grunted. "Do not tell me to shut up."

"I would never say those words," he continued. 

The two stared at one another, both with a look of fire behind their eyes. 

"I'm going home," she stated bluntly.

"This is home," Pelle rebutted.

She picked up her now packed backpack and slung it over her shoulder. "Tell Christian I'm getting a ride to the airport."

"No."

Her brows furrowed, "Why not?"

"You're staying," he said as if it was obvious. 

She scoffed, "Only if you fucking make me."

His head tilted, "If I must."

She stiffened and the two stared at each other once again. She couldn't tell if he was being serious or not, but if the fire behind his eyes and his body being closer to the door was any indication, she'd say he was serious.

She took some steps back and watched him carefully.

He took each step with her as his arms began to move out in front of him, as if trying to calm a wild mare, "Don't make me do this."

She broke out into a sprint past him, feeling his hand brushed her arm and a string of Swedish curses leaving his lips. 

She managed through the door and outside of the Harga. She followed its walls, leading her into the woods that laid not far past.

Pelle had longer legs, and made good use of them.

That, and he was more determined than ever to catch her. 

She dodged trees and bushed carefully, not caring about the cuts on her legs they sometimes left in their wake. 

She grunted and pulled herself to a sudden stop, grabbing a tree trunk near her. 

She eyed the area in front of her. 

"English Ivy," Pelle panted from a few feet behind her. "Poisonous."

She looked over her shoulder, noting the sweat that dripped from his forehead. 

Her eyes must have betrayed her thoughts because Pelle sighed, "Please don't."

But she dove to the right, rounding the poisonous area and Pelle in the process, continuing her run.

She tried to zigzag occasionally to throw him off when he neared too close, but even she knew she couldn't do it forever. 

She felt a tug on her shoulders.

He had grabbed her backpack.

She quickly pulled her arms free from it, causing an ache in her left shoulder from the jerking behavior. 

He grunted and abandoned it, making a mental note to come back for it.

But at least without it, she was quicker on her feet.

The run continued, and she began to see a clearing.

She had run in a circle, and began to see the bright painted building of the Harga.

Maybe Christian would help her. 

Josh would see reason.

Mark would protect her.

Only a few more feet until she'd break the tree line.

Two arms pulled her back by the waist. 

She grunted from the force of her back on his chest.

She opened her mouth, but one of his hands brought a cloth to her lips.

She began to hold her breath.

"C'mon, little bird." Pelle cooed in her ear, "You can't hold off forever."

She growled and fought his grip on her.

"C'mon." He pressured. 

When she began to see stars, Pelle decided to speed up the process. 

He brought the hand on her waist up to her throat, squeezing lightly.

She gasped at the pressure involuntarily, and breathed in the substance on the cloth.

She let out a slight whine as she felt her legs go numb and her vision blur. 

"Oh, I know, I know," Pelle cooed as he pulled her more into his arms, "It's alright."

"I won't let you leave home," is all she heard before seeing black.

…

Christian held his hands on his head in worry, "You checked everywhere?"

Josh nodded, "She's gone."

Pelle approached the group with a curious brow, "What is going on?"

Mark sighed, "We lost Y/n."

"Haven't seen her since this afternoon," Christian said. 

"Well, I just talked to someone, and they said they took her to the airport," Pelle lied easily.

"What?" Christian exclaimed, "Why the fuck didn't she tell me?"

Pelle shrugged, "Maybe she did not want to worry you."

"That's unlike her," Christian mused. "And you're sure?"

Pelle nodded. 

He was sure that to Christian, she was gone. 

After all, he couldn't risk her telling him before the Midsommar festival ended. 

She sat in a room, hands and feet tied until his love rune worked well enough to guarantee her want to stay with him.

But he knew that would take a while.

So, he gave sympathetic cooes to Christian all evening.

And he went to her that night with dinner. 

His little caged bird. So pretty in the wild, but will be content in captivity.

He's sure of that. 

...........................................................

[amymbona]

My silly Challengers sims world

Hello and welcome 👋 in this house we love fun and we love the throuple so I made them a little life in the sims 4 <3 let's take a look at how they live.

Their house looks very humble. The day started with Tashi reading a book (I made her a little bookworm <3) and the boys watching some TV.

I shit you not like twenty minutes in and Art is already flirting with Tashi. They end up doing the woohoo...... Even Patrick was flabbergasted.

After they're done, naked Art kisses Patrick and he begins doing some work out in the bathroom (the most normal thing in this household).

Literally five minutes later, the boys are doing the woohoo..... Poor Tashi is pissed that she can't sleep in her bed (idk why she's suddenly bald and walking around naked).

Patrick is feeling jealous most of the time, very angry too, and he spends most of his time just napping in that clown ass pyjamas. It took me a while to adjust the polyamory settings so maybe that's why he was feeling so insecure.

Patashi hugs <3

Ah yes.... The problem.

The three did some cooking together, although Patrick didn't feel like participating. He then invited Art into the bedroom and they did some dancing together.

Art is apparently the only responsible one, as he provides for the family. He works as an amateur entertainer. And he's really proud of himself :)

Now Tashi seems to be the one who's constantly tired. She also had some bad period cramps :(

Since I can only put ten photos in a post, I'm gonna make this a little series and I'll tag it #challengers sims so you can find it on my profile <3

[headcanonenthusiast]

Alex Keller SFW relationship headcanons 

Since my first post on this man did good, here's some SFW relationship headcanons to feed your delusions 😀

No warnings on this one, folks. Was made with both masc and fem readers in mind, but some of the specific headcanons are leaning towards a specific gender.

Enjoy!

-Love languages are physical touch and acts of service. Loves giving + receiving touch, but feels more inclined to spoil you by doing things for you.

-Will do chores you despise if you're sick/tired. As much as you may insist it's fine and that you can do it, every once in a while you'll find your designated chores (as well as the ones Alex already does) finished.

-He passes out compliments like it's candy, and his words are honestly as sweet as it, too. So sincere with everything he says, no matter how self-conscious you may be, he'll do everything in his power to make you feel like royalty.

-A big fan of just relaxing with you. Y'all could be doing basically anything, whether it's watching TV or making food or cuddling, and no matter how mundane things may be, Alex would much rather just enjoy the simple moments and appreciate the time he's able to spend with you. 

-Nicknames for you include: Baby (baby girl/boy/doll), sweetheart, sunshine, dolly, darling and the occasional love or sugar. 

-I feel like he's a God at back massages. No particular reason why, he's just good at them. 

-The inside jokes are top tier. The type of inside jokes you and Alex have are probably so ridiculous that to anyone besides you two, you guys look insane. 

-Whenever he sees anything that reminds him of an inside joke y'all have, he'll literally have to place a hand over his mouth while snorting. Then he'll text you about it so fast he makes like 12 spelling mistakes. 

-If you have a favorite animal, color, show, etc, you best believe he's going to go out of his way to buy you gifts of those things. He'll just come home one day with a plushie of your favorite animal with the widest grin on his face. 

-"Look what I found at the mall! You still like bears, right?" (Totally didn't use bears as an example bc my favorite animal are bears..) 

-Loves relaxing on your chest. Whether you're taller or shorter, it doesn't matter. Your chest = his pillow. 

-Loves it when you run a hand through his hair or touch his facial hair. Also, please cup his cheek and give him as many kisses as you possibly can.

-Will MELT if you fall asleep on him. 

-His favorite places to kiss you are the cheeks, forehead, nose and ofc the lips. 

-Always has an arm around your shoulder or waist or holds your hand in public. He's not very possessive or anything, but he just feels the need to show you off. Its kinda like he's saying "Hey, look at the absolute eye-candy I scored." And he gets all smiley when someone compliments you. 

-Favorite cuddling positions are spooning (he always insists on being the big spoon), or where you're practically on top of him and using his chest as a pillow (and vice versa). 

-If you also want kids and can get pregnant, he's completely fussing over you the entire time. You're not allowed to lift a finger 

-He'll also do the same if you're sick or on your period if you're afab. 

-Once, while he was on deployment, you got sick and told him about it. 

-"Aw, sunshine. I'm so sorry to hear that :(" is what his text said, before asking you exactly what you needed. Then boom, all of a sudden his mother pays you a surprise visit and makes you some soup. It's totally not like he asked if she'd be willing to check up on you or anything because he couldn't be there..totally not 🙃

-Also, I headcanon him to be a major mama's boy. Maybe he's got an older sister or two as well, idk. 

-I feel like family is very important to him. As such, he's always dragging you over to see his family. 

-Always getting you to play with any nephews/nieces he may have and when you do, he gets massive baby fever. 

-Either way, I feel he's fairly knowledgeable on things like periods and such, which is probably why he's so good at taking care of you

-If you're amab and need some new clothes, he'll gladly go through his old ones and see if anything catches your eye. 

-Will let you wear a shirt of his regardless of gender, though. 

-He knows how much you love wearing his t-shirts and sweaters, regardless of if they fit you or not. So, one time while he was on deployment, he "forgot" a shirt at home and once he "realized" he'd "forgotten" it, he told you to keep it safe. 

-"Alex? I think you left a shirt behind." 

-"Thats alright, sunshine. I've got plenty of other clothes. Can you please keep it nice and warm til I get back?" 

-Y'all always have a meal over FaceTime together when he's deployed. 

-Whenever he sees something that reminds him of you, he sends you a text and a picture of said thing. 

-And said thing is usually either really beautiful, like the sunset or a flower that caught his eye, or something really stupid like a pic of a weird looking cat from the internet or a giant rat he saw around base. 

-"Saw the rat that's been terrorizing the base's kitchen today. Reminded me of you ❤" 

-"Wtf"

-"Why would a rat remind you of me?" 

-"Because it steals my food and leaves crumbs everywhere but is still pretty damn cute." 

-"🖕" 

-"Love you too, dolly." 

-Def wants some sort of pet with you, especially a dog. 

-If you're allergic to dogs, he'll try to get a hypoallergenic breed.

-Although he's certainly not opposed to most other pets! Prefers dogs to cats, but he still likes them, so if you would prefer a cat he's down to get one. 

-Asks for pics of said pet while on deployment constantly. 

-And when he's home, his entire camera roll is just filled with the goofiest pet pics. 

-Such a bad cameraman when it comes to animals for no reason. Will make the most beautiful, expensive and well-groomed ragdoll cat look like a sewer rat with just one photo 💀

-Somehow takes amazing pics of you, though. Manages to make you look absolutely gorgeous/handsome everytime. 

-Stays up late just chuckling at messages between you two on deployment. Does the same for pictures of you, too.  

-When he returns home, though, there's barely a night where he's up past 11 pm, because you're there to cuddle him to sleep. 

-Overall, Alex would just be such an attentive, loving partner. You, your safety, your family and making you laugh are his main priorities.

Another one done! Definitely enjoying writing these, so let me know who I should do next.

[littlekohai77]

Thoughts so far (Ikevil)

🄲🄾🄽🅃🄴🄽🅃 🅆🄰🅁🄽🄸🄽🄶: This is nothing but just a ramble, a bit suggestive, op is clinically insane.

*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*

Okay so I finally tired out Ikevil and I just wanna say....

I'm in love with William. I have known him for no longer than an hour but I'll commit war crimes for him. Wtf how can someone be so lovely??? How can someone be so captivating that other people become this obsessed with them?

I can't even begin to fathom what I'm feeling right now.

I'm so confused and intrigued because usually, the recommend suitor tends to be really cold or the route turns out to be boring. Basically they tend to be the golden cow.

But William is an anomaly. He's not cold or rude or harsh or as morally gray as others.

He seems quite level headed, polite and morally good.

At least from my impression of him so far.

Also Harrison is so 😍😫😩🙌🙏😫😭💀🤔🤤😓😬🤒🤗😘😚😡🤬😤🤯🧐😳🙄😳😳😳😍 🙇‍♀️🤰💃💃🏃‍♀️👀👁👁👀👁👁💦🔥💦😻😫😖

But I still didn't pick his route for now. I'll probably go for him after William.

Strangely enough, Liam doesn't interest me in the slightest bit in the romantic aspect. But I do want to be his friend, if that's even possible, cause he seems to be suffering.

Also Harrison gives off traitor vibes which is even more 😍���😍😳🙌😩

April 24... I'll keep it in mind and see for myself.

I don't know what it is I like about Ellis. Maybe it's just that I'm into size kinks and he's one tall goofy little goober. Also the fact that he wants to make you happy 😏 HUEHWUHEHEHEH

Jude Jazza. Is giving frollo vibes. Idk why IT'S GIVING FROLLO FROM HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME. Also he has a resemblance to Silvio. The tone, the 'woman', the hair, the face, the attitude.

I'm sorry but Elbert is giving FUCKING MAGPIE VIBES. It's kinda adorable. Until he steals your jewelry.

Idk what to feel about Roger. What's even more unsettling is the uncanny resemblance with Tray from Twisted Wonderland. I associate Tray always with good things but Roger gives off none of that and that clash makes me feel unnerved and queasy.

Victor... I don't know what to feel about him. His carefree and easy going nature makes me even more weary of him.

I don't like Alfons. Period.

He just radiates toxicity. He looks like he's an avid player of mind games and I do not wish to participate.

Yeah... That's about all of them for now.

ALSO KATE

KATE KATE KATE

I think I'm having another gay moment here cause goddamn is she beautiful and do I feel for her. I might just make another oc and ship her with Kate... For science..

I have bearly started the route but I'm already in love with William.

*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*

𝙰𝚕𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝... 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞. :)

[dmbakura]

I haven't been officially diagnosed with pmdd but I have my suspicions because holy fuck

so I take progesterone supplements and it's mostly helped my periods go from Hell to manageable, however every 4 or 5 cycles or so the pre menstrual depression comes back so fucking hard I don't even know what to do about it.

I don't really get "mood swings" it's more like I get this constant heavy depression and apathy. I don't mean I get sad or weepy, I mean I completely lose all emotion (usually except for rage) and I have this constant conviction that I will never be happy again and nothing will get better. I literally feel like I lose my entire personality during this time, like completely disconnected from everything. I had such a bad cycle this time I was having suicidal and self harm thoughts. it's genuinely crazy to me how I feel, and once this passes, it all just goes away and I don't know why I felt like that. right now I think I'm almost over it and the emotions have turned back on again and I feel almost back to normal but man, I haven't had such a bad spell like that in a long time. I don't even feel like myself.

and again, this is AFTER medication. before progesterone, this would be almost every cycle instead of every 4th or 5th. idk if I need to just up my dosage or what. I have an appointment with my doctor soon so maybe I'll figure something out then.

idk I'm just posting this cuz it doesn't seem normal, and I'm kind of tired of playing the raffle of "am I going to experience complete personality death or is it going to be a normal period this time"

[crispy-kitten-princess]

If i ever were able to list all the things i dislike in Magisterium series, this post would've been endless. Instead, I'd mention smth i love so much that it makes me re-read the series for the fifth time and gives me inspiration for new drawings and playlists

The first one is aesthetic. I don't think I've ever read a YA book with the death and necromancy as the main lore theme. Also, the first book in series is so sweet and innocent compared to the fourth I can't believe it lol. Corpses. So gothic. So edgy. Love it

The second is very similar to the first - chaos magic. We come across elemental magic in all sorts of media, but they don't usually have the 5th element, or if they have it's more likely to be electricity or smth. Not ACTUAL NECROMANCY omfg... I love it. Also Makars being able to manipulate not only chaos (the void itself) but the soul.... Cute

So next. The main character ofc. Callum Hunt. What can I say he is such a cinnamon roll hating himself for what he is not. Screaming, crying, throwing up. I can feel his pain with every fiber of my soul he's so relatable. He is a type of chaotic neutral main character which is rare I guess, and at the same time he doesn't act like a total jerk and piece of shit. Can't name some other like him, idk. He's sweet but also edgy. His self-confidence is below the surface of the earth. He's just like me frfr my poor little meow meow. Also he is disabled and it influences the events of the book. Sometimes. Cool, representative. Not a disabled person myself but can appreciate it

Another reason for me to love the series is the changing of Call's secrets idk how to call this. The structure of his character lore. His secrets and abilities, they're layered.. you know... And every book one by one uncovers these layers: 1 - he uncovers that he is the reincarnation of Constantine. 2 - he gets his powers (which made Constantine evil at the first place). 3 - he learns more about Constantine's family, and the whole world finds out that he "is" the Enemy of Death. 4 - omg how much he uncovers here lol i can't. May be my favourite book thanks to its maaad vibe. Everything he learns here makes him closer and closer to Constantine. 5 - i know that most of the fandom thinks it was stupid to make Constantine himself a reincarnated thousand-years-old evil Makar. And i may agree. But in the moment of reading this it was so impactful for me idk why.... I literally cried idk!!! Lol. Love the moment where Call opens his memory to help his friends to fight wolves or smth, and PASSES OUT. KING. So, the other secret is uncovered here. Everything he learns makes him understand Constantine's/Maugris's motives, but he never ever becomes anything like them nor wishes to follow their path. Pretty symbolic and meaningful

Upd. SOME MOMENTS ARE FREAKING HILARIOUS

So what can I say? Every series has it's weak and strong points. Some of them become classic literature, some are forgotten in the abyss of YA books. I understand why Magisterium's place is with the second type of series, and it's not even saddens me anymore (we're so underground teehee). But i see many posts where the series is shitted over, and not much of posts appreciating the things that we actually love in it. Aren't they the reason you started and finished it sometime? So I'm here spreading positivity! And also because I'm so tired of being a fan of this shit so i tried to acknowledge all that i love, and why am i here in the first place

I think it's all for now, maybe I'll come with more ideas later

Fandom are you alive? Heh am I a Call kinnie to the point that i become necromancer?...

P.S. sometimes i think I'm so cringe to be periodically obsessed with this STUPID POOR-WRITTEN CHILDISH BOOK ABANDONED EVEN BY IT'S OWN CREATORS BUT I CAN'T HELP IT...... AND THE WORST THING IS THAT I DIDN'T EVEN READ IT IN MY EARLY TEENS (except the 1 which i read when i was around 13. Read it twice in one week so maybe that's the moment my brain was damaged) I READ IT WHEN I WAS 16 ALREADY aaarrrhh I'm so cringe. Why obsession why why why why why why i hate this but this is literally the only book which makes me cry and scream and feel every fucking time i re-read it even when i know EVERYTHING THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN LITERALLY EVERYTHING reading it all again for the 6th time FOR GODDESS SAKE WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME

[imjustdreamingig]

Run Away

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Summary: You were never a shy person, until it came to talking to the boy you liked.

A/N: Well, this is my first time writing something like this so... please be nice. I was kinda tired of only seeing shy!reader stuff so I decided to base this on my personality. So yeah, kind of based on a true story. What reader does in this story I've actually done in real life which is mortifying. Anyways!!! This is just edited by me so lmk how I can improve and if I should write a part 2??? Maybe?? Idk. Enjoy!

PS: Robin and Steve work together, nothing monstery has happened, they're all in the same grade. It's a bunch of dumb teenagers together battling high school.

Warnings: sfw, cursing, fluff? people being dumb?? idk what else tbh

You've never considered yourself to be a shy person. In fact, you were very much so extroverted, never finding qualms in chatting to your classmates or asking you're teacher questions in class that some may think are stupid. You didn't care.

Aside from being a little nervous back in elementary school, that trait had dissolved as you got older, and it definitely wasn't present at the moment during your senior year at Hawkins High.

However. As much as you liked to claim to be unbothered with public speaking and your ability to make friends easily, there was one thing that you couldn't just quite get over, no matter how hard you tried. And quite frankly, it was getting old and ridiculous.

"Fuck, Robin he's coming down the hall," you exclaimed, "move, move, move, move!"

You didn't bother checking if she was behind you, already knowing she would be as you practically ran to your second period class. It was the first day of the new semester anyways, you could use the excuse of wanting to get good seats to justify your cowardice to yourself later tonight.

"Jesus Christ," you heard Robin mutter as she finally caught up to you, "You know I have asthma, I cannot keep doing this every time you so much catch a glimpse of Steve."

You slowed down your pace, your heart not feeling as though it would burst out of your chest anymore. You still sported a slight flush on your face from the thought of the almost encounter you had with the jock.

"I know, I know, this is getting so stupid. I promise next time I'll talk to him, I swear," you said as you sighed forlornly.

Robin turned to you with an unimpressed stare. "That's what you said last time, and the time before that, and the time before that, and yet here we are," she waved her hands dramatically.

Here's your problem. An issue that is a complete juxtaposition of your usual personality. The moment you've ever realized you have a crush on someone, you would run away from them anytime you saw them. Literally. You would full on sprint away in the opposite direction.

You've never really understood why this happens, only knowing that the second you saw your current crush, you're usual non existent nerves would make a prevalent appearance. You'd freeze and your eyes would widen as your brain chose the flight response when confronted with a potential dangerous situation.

"Look dingus, I love you and I think you're awesome and all that, blah blah blah, but this has got to stop," Robin stated as you both took your seats in your English class. "You're embarrassing me just as much as you're embarrassing yourself and our social status cannot take that much more of a beating."

You knew she was joking but just grunted in response, having buried your face in the crook of your elbow, not even bothering to open up your notebook. You heard Robin sigh and could tell she was rolling her eyes at you.

"You know..." Robin started, "I could always just...talk to him for you? Give him you're number or something during our shift at-"

Your raised your head immediately, almost giving yourself whiplash. "Robs, no way. We've talked about this before! I just - this situation is already awkward as it is, that would just make it worse."

"Hey, I'm just trying to help, but if you wanna suffer some more that's totally your choice." Robin says as she shrugs her shoulders. "Besides, with all that running your doing, at least you're getting some cardio in."

You let out as surprised squawk. "Robin come on! Not funny!" She doesn't reply, merely continuing to laugh at you. All you did was just groan in response again, settling your head in your arms once more.

A few weeks ago, you had been walking to your locker whilst attempting to shove a bunch of textbooks into your bag at the same time. Obviously, everything fell and it just so happened that Steve was nearby and helped you out.

"Oh my God, you don't have to, it's totally fine," you'd stammered, just the tiniest bit embarrassed of dropping your books in the middle of the crowded hallway.

"Don't sweat it, it happens to the best of us." Steve chuckled as he handed you your notebook.

And then it happened. The event that you frequently replay over and over in your mind, the event that kickstarted the affections you had for the boy.

Once everything was stored safely in your bag, Steve stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans. He then turned his attention to you and simply offered you his hand to help you up.

You stared into his big, brown eyes, completely dumbfounded. Here he was, an average man doing the absolute bare minimum and yet you still found yourself practically falling at his feet, your heart feeling as thought it was going to beat out of your chest.

"I- uh, I mean, thanks for the hand Steve," you stammered as you tentatively took his hand and pulled yourself off the floor. You cringed when you felt that it was sort of shaking and kind of clammy, hoping Steve wouldn't notice. "Both literally and figuratively."

You wanted nothing more than the ground to swallow you up after you blurted out those words. To your surprise, Steve let out a laugh, a genuine laugh. His eyes sort of crinkled and you could see the slight indent of a dimple. As if the man needed to get any more attractive in your eyes.

"It's no problem at all," he reassured you. "I'll be seeing you." He gave a quick wave and then turned in the direction of the cafeteria. Your hands tightened on the straps of your backpack as you watched him walk away, admiring the view.

Oh ew, you suddenly thought to yourself, now that was just pathetic.

Ever since that moment, you couldn't give yourself that last push you needed to talk to him. Even after the multitude of pep talks you give yourself in the mirror, including the ones from Robin, you still always ran away whenever you saw him.

You'd be a fool to think he didn't notice it and prayed he didn't mistake it for you hating him or something.

The sound of the bell signaling the start of class pulled you from your misery, forcing you to pay attention to your teacher so you didn't face the consequences of falling behind so early in the term.

Amidst your groveling, you'd failed to notice a particular brunet enter the class and take a seat at a desk a few rows behind you. Who knows what your reaction would have been if you did. Robin just kept her mouth shut, simply winking in Steve's direction when she caught his eye.

"Alright class, settle down and listen up," your teacher began. "I know it's the first day of the semester, but I wanted to introduce an assignment before anything else to make sure you have enough time to complete it and do an excellent job."

The entire class let out a collective groan, yourself included. How could she already be giving out assignments when she hasn't even properly introduced herself?

You turned to Robin, brows furrowed in annoyance. "I think she's got her agenda mixed up, she's introducing things in the wrong order."

"Fuck this, I should've taken Eddie's warning more seriously. Now I understand why everyone hates her," Robin gripped, running a hand through her cropped hair, already looking a little stressed.

You nodded in agreement and added, "I think I get why people hate English so much too."

Robin laughed. "But you'll still love it anyways, won't you?" she chided. Before you had a chance to reply, your teacher began speaking again.

"Settle down, please! If you listen, you'd hear that this not due until the last month of the semester and you'll be working in partners," she stated, "so not only will you have plenty of time to work on it, but you'll also have some help." You and Robin glanced at each other, hopefully smiles tugging at both of your faces.

"Your partners will be assigned by me," the whole class collectively groaned again, "which is what I'll be doing as we get through attendance. I'll explain the criteria before moving on."

"Yep, I think I hate this class at least a little bit now," you complained to Robin, already making a mental checklist of what school stuff you should at least start on later in the afternoon.

"-ohn Gilmore, Phoebe Burton, partners. Steve Harrington, Y/N Y/L/N, partners. Billy Holden, Rob-"

You froze for a second, as if you were glitching. Steve was in... this class? There was no way, you would have absolutely noticed him. But as you snuck a glance behind you, sure enough there he was, sitting in his chair, mindlessly twirling a pencil through his fingers. To your surprise, he was actually looking back at you too and- wait hold up, was he smirking?

You immediately spun back around, hand lurching to grip onto the sides of your desk. You then blinked a couple of time, praying your face wasn't as red as you felt like it was.

"Nope, nope, absolutely not. No thank you," you said as you shook your head from side to side. "Miss, this is a joke right?" you inquired out loud.

You were eventually going to talk to Steve, you were sure of it. The day was coming where you could have some sort of a conversation with him without running away, you could feel it. The moment was almost here.

Today, however, was absolutely not that day.

Just when you were about to complain to you teacher out loud again, you feel a presence behind you.

"Oh come on, you're already dismissing me as a terrible English partner? I'm wounded, seriously." The voice was laced in amusement. You did not need to turn around to know who it belonged to.

Before you could even think of a response, Robin turns to you, clearly finding your horror to the situation hilarious, and says, "Well, I think you're going to hate this class a little bit too."

Well fuck.

[fairycosmos]

is it a bad thing to be so sensitive? like i am always crying <3 i am a cry baby and I HATE IT. why can't i be strong and sexy. anyways tired of people making me feel bad about it idk. maybe i should WOMAN UP period

no i think that mindset is weirdly toxic positivity-adjacent and also gives ppl an excuse not to look inward and reflect on whether or not they're actually treating others well. i.e. oh that person is just sensitive, my behavior plays no part in their reactions, i'm good etc etc. there's definitely a balance though like if you find yourself jumping down people's throats/getting sad whenever someone like casually disagrees with you then it's probably worth checking in on yourself and trying to learn how to approach your interactions with them in a more productive, less reactive way. however no i don't think sensitivity itself is an inherently bad thing at all. it's ok that the feeling is there, it's what you do with it that counts. and it's often situational anyway. i kind of wish everyone was a little more sensitive honestly, broadly speaking at least. people always talk about the younger generations being too soft or whatever but i don't really see that with those around me, even those my age and younger. i think we could all stand to be a bit more self-aware and gentle and emotionally attuned and im absolutely including myself in that

[caliburn-the-sword]

tlc fairest thoughts

this is all gonna be one post because if i put every "levana wtf" moment i had. i would end up just posting the ENTIRE book. ngl will probably tag this as anti?? because i don't have very much that is nice to say unlike the other books. respectfully, do not press keep reading if you're gonna be upset about how i feel about fairest because i don't want you to have a bad internet experience and i don't want ME to have a bad internet experience. thanks <3

am i really going to be forced to go through a whole second-hand-embarrassment-fest as an explanation for levana's backstory

sorry the writing style is giving the cruel prince. and i am very much not a fan of that book

wait i'm really confused. levana was 15 yet is now celebrating her 17th?? did the mourning period last an entire year or???

levana is just as delulu as cress when it comes to love, but she doesn't have the excuse of being locked up for like a decade in isolation. what's her excuse lol

respect for evret for being the ONLY grown man in this goddamn series that doesn't go after minors

AND NOW LEVANA IS 16 AGAIN. looks like someone in publishing didn't notice the continuity error lmao

idk if it's because i'm tired but WHY does channary not want anyone to know the father of the baby?? and also aren't there dna tests for that which make it redundant anyway??? tho i guess if she's fucking THAT many men then she wouldn't even know where to start with testing even if she did want to

i'm sorry but there's something HILARIOUS about levana hating all these women having babies. knowing that the babies are gonna grow up to kick her ass off the lunar throne

is the queen being glamoured????? it's hard to say because she was ALREADY such a disturbed individual that it's hard to say whether this new shit is her own thoughts or someone else's

TF LEVANA WAS SET ON FIRE BY HER SISTER?????

ahhh. part of me wonders if channary glamouring her sister during early developmental stages is what made levana so fucked up to begin with

the description of how hair catches fire is entirely accurate

god. i feel so bad for evret. his entire life was ruined and then he was killed before he could ever see his daughter grow up

ngl levana didn't seem to be very proactive in HER OWN story?? it's just a bunch of things happening to her or falling into her lap CONSTANTLY. other than her glamouring evret and trying to kill cinder, she never actually DOES anything. it felt like the author had a checklist of things like "okay these all canonically happen before the events of cinder so i'm gonna tick all these off quickly". idk. didn't love it. i'm glad that at least she didn't go to any effort to redeem levana, but istg levana literally had the moral consistency of literal water. one minute she's like "time to toss this baby off a balcony" and then "boohoo i didn't realise that killing someone would ACTUALLY kill them" like girl what???? that's not to say that i WANT her to be good and whatever, in fact i mean the opposite. just let her be an evil bitch. stop with the totally random, OUT OF PLACE bouts of empathy that happen for literally no reason. pulled me out of the plot so hard every time it happened. maybe it's because of my negative feelings but it just felt very anticlimactic?? i'm just sitting here like "okay so what??"

managed to get through the slogfest but i can already feel myself slipping into a reading slump. yesterday i wanted to read winter SO bad but now i feel like i need time to recover from that read. lesbians give me strength to persevere because i KNOW that i will LOVE winter

[0xo]

been frustrated bc like. i have chronic pain, right, and there's been times in my life when it was pretty severe 24/7. and also times where it was relatively well managed, with predictable flares from over exertion.

and so for a while it's been at an okay level. not as good as when i was on stronger doses of my meds but not as bad as before then. like, 4/5 out of 10. most days probably

but now it's like. getting worse kind of unpredictably and i am mostly just frustrated. bc i had been mostly stable for a while and now i'm not. and yes the pain sucks and is frustrating itself but im mostly kind of upset that my body is still? uhhh acting like this. bc i can rest for days and still be bone tired and 5-7/10 when i didn't fucking do anything. and it makes me want to scream

just. between the increase in baseline pain and the weird episodes it's getting harder to keep it together at all

like i want my life, i want to work on the things i enjoy, i want to be a good friend, i want to DO THINGS. and i can (sometimes) but there's a price (always) and i just don't want to go back to that period of my life. repeating that but with new weird shit happening.

like i know i have multiple disabilities and that some of them are progressive, not new to me, so why am i shocked when they progress. or when i flare. like why is this at all surprising or upsetting to me. i guess upsetting is understandable even if you know it's coming, but why does it feel like this!!!!!!

literally 10 years into being officially disabled and im still grappling with how that actually affects me. maybe it's because i quit trying so hard to pretend it doesn't. idk just feeling a lot of weird emotions i don't enjoy dealing with

[celestie0]

🪷 I have been summoned. ℑ 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔠𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲.

These guys will never give up on the horny agenda will they 😭 it's been months wallahi I still remember the last time you got asks like these and like..okay I get it everyone gets horny occasionally but there's several stories that will cater to your needs of the moment. Hell just search up the tags #(insert character) smut and you'll get that shit.

I don't think the anon meant it in a pushy way but seriously on your end I can't even imagine the pressure it must put on you. Like imagine tens of people sending you stuff like this, then on top of that the cunts who send hateful, catty asks over STORIES and HEADCANONS. I'm actually so sorry dude. Forget about touching grass these people need a shot of chlorophyll injected straight to their bloodstream.

I think so much of this brain rot is because as a reader the effort isn't that significant on our end. 15-20 mins of reading and maybe a like or comment if necessary and that's all. As the writer on the other hand? So many hours spent in just coming with ideas, even more hours trying to articulate said ideas and make it coherent and fun to read, even more hours editing that stuff. Whew bitch. I remember why I gave up on my blog now 😭 but back to the point it's a major imbalance of effort and time put into the work from the parties. And after a point these people start feeling like they are owed their own specific fantasies and needs and it's just..girl I get it it's a self insert y/n fic but dj your kitty and go back to sleep instead of pestering an already tired and anxious writer.

You're god's strongest soldier Elliebear we love you. You and all the writers who put so much love and effort into your work only to get stuff like this in return.

HIIIII lilypad anon omg hope you’re doing well <33 also every time i read one of your asks i’m always reminded of how fucking funny you are 😂 the chlorophyll line sent me to the moon bahhaha. tysm for always coming to my support n rescue 🥺💕

AAA yea ikk like the fuckin kickoff smut asks too like bruh. i understand that i get new followers periodically that haven’t seen my posts addressing my issue w these types of asks, but like?? is it not also just basic decency? lol. i’ve been reading fanfics since i was like 12 y/o and i’ve never sent an author a rude asf ask or pushy comment like that…i can’t always keep giving these ppl the benefit of the doubt.

yea i mean i felt really awful when i responded to that ask about an hour after all my anger subsided lolol, because i can acknowledge that it’s not just the anger towards that particular anon, but also just a combination of all the asks i’ve gotten that just want smut. like, i’m ALREADY self conscious about writing smut, and i’m ALREADY self conscious about the lack of smut in my fics. these asks just make those feelings of anxiety increase ten-fold, and then i become too paralyzed to write anything.

yes i 100% agree w you, there’s definitely an imbalance of effort and i think the way you put it is perfect lol i could never put that thought into words the way you did haha. although it’s ultimately my decision to write and i’d never pressure ppl to interact w my work, i think because there is inherently such an imbalance of effort, some entitled readers suddenly think that they are OWED my time and OWED their hyperspecific fantasies to be included in my fics.

idk i’m like kinda getting carried away here i’m also pms’ing so bad i think that’s why this whole situation is messing me up more than usual 😂 but anywho thanks so much for supporitng me lilypad bb :(( i’m so grateful to have you as a reader. and yes! i’ve seen similar situations w my writer moots as well, so all the love extends to them too. i think writers really need to stand up for ourselves more often so these ppl fuckin learn n don’t do the same shit w other authors or in other fandoms

much love <3 ellie 🐸

[matan4il]

Hey, feel free to ignore - I found your blog after going through jumblr for a bit and I just want to get some stuff off my chest to someone who understands… My dad and his family are Jewish, so even though I’m technically not, I consider my Jewish heritage to be a big part of my identity. I have a *very* Jewish name to the point where I usually go by my middle name for safety reasons. (You never know who someone is when you introduce yourself, eh.) My dad has often said to me that I’m being overly cautious, that antisemitism is uncommon where we live. I had a conversation with him the other week where he expressed his shock and horror at the quick and monumental rise in visible global antisemitism… it broke my heart. In real life, I feel like the only people who care about this are my jewish friends and family. I feel very alienated and… I’m caught between apologising for not speaking Hebrew, for not being religious, and then on the other side I always gotta be on the defensive, always lead with “I’m not a Zionist”, always measure every word of support that I’m extending to Jews or Israel. I’m so tired…

Hi Nonnie! I am just gonna start by hugging you SO BIG!

I feel like antisemitism (or maybe its overt expression) has been on the rise for a long time, but it's been happening so gradually, and a lot of it has either been focused on the ultra orthodox community (those who are visibly Jewish, and who are very mistrusting of their non-Jewish surroundings, so they're less likely to report it to the authorities), or it's been disguised as anti-Zionism, and neither form got too much attention from non-Jewish news outlets. So I totally get your dad's surprise, at the same time that I am not surprised at all, even though I'm still shocked by the audacity of so openly justifying an actual massacre.

I am so sorry that you feel so alienated! Please remember you don't actually have to speak Hebrew to be a good Jew. My grandma was a Holocaust survivor, she tried to learn Hebrew, but never managed to absorb more than a few words. And she was a fantastic Jew, not just a good one, who really reflected some core Jewish values, like how she never stopped being so incredibly fair and kind to others, despite the unjust brutality she had suffered when a part of her family was murdered by the Nazis in Auschwitz, and another was murdered by their own neighbors. Same goes for being religious. There are LOADS of Jews who aren't, because being Jewish is so much more than just the religious aspects of our identity.

Also, I hope it's okay to share with you my POV on patrilineal Jews, but feel free to ignore this if it's not helpful. So why does the halacha (Jewish law) only recognize matrilineal Jews? Well, two thousand years ago, maternity was much easier to determine than paternity. Also, back then fathers barely dealt with their kids' education. It was basically on mothers, and that means they were the ones who passed on a sense of their culture, values, beliefs and world view to their kids. At the time, Jews also didn't have surnames, so that form of passing on this identity through the father didn't exist yet.

What I find interesting is, that this means Judaism says ONE parent who is DEF Jewish, and who passes on to you a meaningful Jewish identity, is enough. Today, when paternity can be determined for sure, I think that if we had rabbis with a great enough rabbinical stature across the Jewish world, the halacha would have been changed to include patrilineal Jews. In any case, I personally count patrilineal Jews no less than matrilineal ones. IMO, it's most of all a question of whether your Jewish identity is meaningful to you. And since it is, to me you're Jewish, period. *hearts*

And even if we look at it from the narrower POV from the halacha, just remember that it does recognize you, even if not religiously. Patrilineal Jews are called "Mi'Zera Yisrael," of the seed of Israel. So yeah, IDK... but I hope this helps!

As for not being a Zionist, of course you don't have to be. But I hope whatever your position is on the right of Jews to have a state in our ancestral homeland, it's not dictated by the hope that this will help people accept you. People who can't do that, unless you throw the majority of Jews (between Israeli ones, and the ones who support the Jewish state) under the bus, they will forever be capable of turning on you in a heartbeat. If they think it's wrong to murder you, but only so long as you live outside of Israel, or denounce it, they will never be people you can truly rely you.

I hope you're feeling better, having shared! And again, IDK if my words helped in any way, but I hope they did. Please don't hesitate to write me, and let me know either way, if you feel like it. Take good care of yourself! xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[fantasticcloudcreation]

July 6

113.3 (115.5 when I woke up, same as yesterday, then tried again later in the day and it was lower lol glad it dropped bc I was about to get mad)

Spent the whole day knitting instead of doing anything productive and I don't even think its gonna turn out cute bc of the way this yarn changes colors but whatever I'm just gonna keep making it and see what happens :) still need to pack up the van and everything, waiting til the sun goes down a lil bit more, then I'm going to sleep by like 10 pm bc I was sooooo sleepy this morning....

Haven't eaten yet today, coffee this morning and 2 glasses of wine so far, do not let me get drunk tonight I gotta drive all day tmro....... Good news is bossman said it's fine to not do the osha cert before starting this gig so I don't have to worry about that anymore lol. So I'm just gonna drive 2 days (8h each) and then start work the next morning...... It'll be fun I need to relax :) realistically I don't have that much left to do, basically just putting shit back in the van, it'll take like 2 hours max, I just gotta stop procrastinating.

Also I think my period is starting which is maybe why I've been feeling so weird today, which is gonna make this week of driving + work really extra fun 😇

I've just been feeling so sleepy and foggy all day and maybe it's like a weed hangover?? I haven't been consuming any for like, at least a month now, so maybe the edible yesterday fucked me up? Idk. I'm just so sleepy and out of it. The first glass of wine helped and the second is reversing that hahaha. Maybe I should eat food but I don't feel like it.... Idk. I'm tired and I just want to sleep and I just want to keep knitting and I don't want to put all this shit back in the van lol. But whatever this is life and it's fine and once I do it it'll be done and then I can sleep!! Relax ❤️