Designated Person | Chapter 6
Pairing: Francisco “Catfish” Morales x F!Reader
Chapter 6: Present
Rating: Explicit (18+ only)
Series Summary: When posting bail for Frankie Morales, your former employer and former lover, you unwittingly designate yourself as his third party custodian during his pre-trial release. Your often tumultuous relationship with him is given a new set of rules and put to the test. Can the two of you co-exist peacefully, or will you crash and burn?
Word Count: 9.2k+
Content / Warnings: Frankie POV, infidelity, past romantic & sexual relationship and related flashbacks, angst, food, AA meeting, alcoholism, abuse mention, lying, confrontation, crying, mutual masturbation, panty snatchin' (sorry idk what else to call it)
Notes: Hello hello hello! If you want the taglist, spotify playlist, or AO3 link, head on down to the masterlist. I appreciate your patience in waiting for this, thank you so much for reading. Ok love u have fun!
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Tonight, the AA meeting is being held in the conference room of a value hotel.
The three-story venue is ripe with families on vacation and traveling professionals who likely booked their rooms as a cost-saving measure. They certainly didn’t choose to stay here because of its charming features, such as the floating island of dead bugs in the outdoor swimming pool, or the dingy low-pile carpet darkened in high-traffic areas, or the generic, faded landscape portraits in shiny golden frames.
Its conference room is windowless, the only source of light buzzing from long fluorescents overhead, dousing everything in a twitchy, vague sort of green that grips Frankie’s stomach.
Or, maybe it’s just the story he’s listening to that’s making him feel ill.
Maybe a little bit of both, it’s hard to tell.
“She had her heart set on leaving, ‘n’ I told her, nobody fuckin’ wants you here anyway, Mary Beth, go on home!”
The haggard old man, who introduced himself as Fred, says this in a jovial, rehearsed way that tells Frankie this story has been told many times. Probably over drinks, to coworkers, or friends, or anyone who happened to be within earshot at his regular barstool.
Fred glances around over his puffy, purpled nose, like he half expects his spectators’ laughter, but the only noise is the squeak of people’s uncomfortable shifting in seats. Either because the story is too relatable, or because these folding chairs are hell on the tailbone.
“She told me if I didn’t get my ass outta that barstool, she’d be gone when I got home,” he looks at the floor and his cheeky grin falls, “I didn’t go home ‘til barclose. ‘N’ she was still there. Knew she would be. She always was.”
The room is silent as he gathers his thoughts.
“She passed away, few years back,” he looks around, putting his calloused hands up defensively, “‘N’ I miss her everyday, don’t get me wrong, but—”
The well-weathered skin of his face sags into solemnity, “I kinda wish she woulda kicked me to the curb, y’know? Was always waitin’ for it, for her to get fed up ‘n’ leave, but she never did. ‘N’ I think, sometimes, maybe… she woulda lived a better life if she did. ‘Steada waiting around for some drunk, she coulda really made somethin’ out of herself. And I feel…” he frowns at the floor, trying to pinpoint the correct emotion, a skill undoubtedly atrophied by decades of avoidance.
“Regret, I think? Wasting so much of her life. It’s one thing wastin’ my life, but her’s… I dunno. It don’t sit right,” Fred clears his throat and swallows, then sighs, “Guess that’s it. Our anniversary’s coming up next week, she’s been on my mind ‘n’ I wanted to get that out.”
The ringleader for tonight is David, as is usually the case at the Monday night meetings Frankie attends. He thanks Fred for sharing, then asks for another volunteer.
Frankie leans back in his seat and presses his fingers to his lips as another participant clears their throat and begins to talk. He’s stuck on the old man’s story, though. His knee starts bouncing as he turns it over in his mind.
I’m not that bad, right? I wasn’t that absent. I didn’t go to the bar every night. On the weekends, sure. And on weeknights, I’d drink myself fuzzy and numb, but at least I was at home.
Was he really present, though?
Before you, when Angie was home with Sarah on maternity leave, he’d come home from work and visit with them for a while. Knock a few beers or drinks back. After dinner, he would continue to drink in the garage, or in the basement. Somewhere Angie couldn’t raise her eyebrows every time he finished a beverage and retrieved a replacement.
Even after you, this ritual continued. You distracted him enough to slow the drinking those few hours after he got home. But once the table was cleared after dinner, he would tuck himself away somewhere in the house to drink alone.
It wasn’t always that way.
He drank, sure, but it wasn’t every day. It wasn’t to the point his mind went blank.
No, that didn’t start until he returned from South America.
Every time his eyelids closed, it played on repeat. The mansion. The crash. The village. Redfly’s vacant eyes. Over and over. His culpability hung around his neck like a noose.
The guys didn’t want to talk about it. A silent agreement not to mention their sins. Angie didn’t want to talk about it. Too pissed at him for going in the first place to feel bad for him.
It just stayed inside him, replaying again and again on loop. He needed something to wipe the slate clean, and booze worked.
Not like he was sober before then. Drinking himself blind on the weekends. Fuck, Angie was the same way. Before she got pregnant, anyway. That’s how they ended up meeting, that summer night back in 2018.
He and Benny went to one of their frequent Saturday spots. The bar was crowded and loud, heavy throngs of people attracted by a popular local DJ. Summer heat crept into the air despite the industrial air conditioner running at full blast, Florida’s relentless humidity hung thick in the air, leaving a dewy residue on every surface.
The only thing Frankie could smell was that primal, earthy scent of sweat. He pinched his shirt and pulled it away from his chest with a few quick tugs, trying to get some kind of a breeze going. When he looked around the bar, swathes of exposed skin all surrounded him, people wiping their foreheads and fanning themselves.
He spotted two women sitting at a high-top table, leaning over their drinks and talking to each other. One of them was a pretty, unassuming brunette. The other had glossy black hair that shone in the neon lights, cascading in waves down the open back of her dress. She looked put together and fucking luminous, the way her copper skin seemed to glow. He couldn’t look away.
Benny was in the middle of a sentence when Frankie cut him off, “Holy shit, look at her.”
“What—who?” Benny followed Frankie’s line of sight and guffawed, “Her? She would eat you for fucking breakfast, man.”
“I fucking wish,” Frankie gave Benny this dopey smile, nodding towards them, “You getting a feel on the friend?”
Benny glanced her over and shrugged, a smirk turning up the corner of his mouth, “Pretty brunette?”
“Right up your alley, huh?” Frankie grinned, then nudged his friend, “So?”
“Fuck it, why not?” Benny chuckled.
“Atta boy,” Frankie smacked his shoulder a few times, then started off towards the table.
“Hey, how’re you two doing tonight?” he asked as he leaned against the table, looking between the two women, who sized him up scrupulously, “Yeah, uh, my name is Frankie, this is my buddy, Benny. Mind if we join you?”
“Why?” the subject of his desire asked, her big, round eyes searching Frankie’s face.
“Why?” he raised his eyebrows and chuckled, “Well, because you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life. I’d sell my goddamn soul for an opportunity to talk to you—”
“Oh yeah?” she smirked and tilted her head, bringing the tip of her tongue to her top teeth before shrugging, “Prove it.”
“You—you want it? My soul?” he grinned and leaned closer, “It’s yours, beautiful, for the low, low price of this barstool next to you. And maybe, if you’re feeling generous, a dance later?”
“That’s a hell of a deal,” she raised her eyebrows and joked, “For you, I mean.”
“Oh yeah?” he laughed, “What if I throw in a sweetener? I’ll buy your drinks, too, how’s that sound?”
She scrunched her face up in contemplation, then smiled, “Deal.”
“Yeah?” Frankie beamed, extending his hand to her, and as she took it, he grazed his thumb against her soft skin, “What’s your name?”
“Angie,” she answered, eyebrow quirking as she told him, “This doesn’t mean you’re taking me home tonight, though.”
“Noted,” he smirked, dropping his eyes to her lips, before meeting her gaze, “So what’re you drinking?”
He woke up the next morning in his bed, head spinning, stomach clenching.
Before opening his eyes, he tried to recount the night, following the path of breadcrumbs his memory allowed him. Meeting Angie, taking shots, flirting with her relentlessly, more drinks, dancing with her. Kissing her on the dance floor. The sidewalk slabs uneven beneath his feet on the walk back to his apartment. A woman’s razor sharp giggle as he fumbled to unlock the door.
The mattress shifted beside him and he cracked one eyelid open tentatively, releasing a sigh of relief when he recognized Angie as the person tangled up in his sheets. Traces of the previous night’s makeup still held in tact on her face, oily pools gathering in the soft wrinkles of her forehead and eyes, black mascara clinging to her lashes in clumps and flaking onto her cheeks, a faint red outline where her lipstick was before he kissed it off of her. He rolled on his side towards her and brushed some of the sweat-dampened hair from her forehead.
She hummed and frowned, then took a deep, wakeful breath as her eyes blinked open. They were stunning in the light. Golden streaks like sunbeams stretching from the middle of her iris into a deep, rich brown.
“Oh, fuck,” she murmured, “We fucked, didn’t we?”
“That’s what it’s looking like,” he smirked, “How’re you feeling?”
She groaned and pinched the bridge of her button nose, “Still drunk.”
“Regret this yet?” he chuckled, half-joking, half-wondering.
“Having sex with a stranger? Yeah, I’m having some regrets,” she scoffed, shaking her head, then threw her hand down at her side. She sighed and studied his face, “You’re cute, though. Kind of wish I could remember it.”
“Ditto,” he said, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear with a shrug, “You know, we could have a do-over. Since we’re already here and regretting it. You could… let me have another chance to, ya know, make a lasting impression.”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” her dark eyebrow arched. A smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth. She brought her long, red fingernails to his hairline and combed them through his bed head.
“Yes ma’am,” he nodded, dropping his gaze to her lips, “Plus, that way, when this hangover inevitably kills me, I’ll die a happy man.”
“Is that right?” she giggled. The sound made his heart sing in harmony.
“That’s right,” he reached out to her under the covers, smoothing his hands along her soft skin, coaxing her closer as he murmured, “What do you think, princesa, hmm?”
“I think,” she wriggled on top of him, the sticky heat of her naked body clinging to his, “I could give you a fighting chance.“
She hovered over him, meeting his eyes for an intoxicating moment before he pulled her lips to his. From there, it was full throttle. Kissing, biting, gasping, moaning. Torrid, frenzied movements that burned bright and hot.
Their relationship took off at break-neck speed.
From that day onward, they were doing nightly sleepovers at each others’ apartments. Every free moment spent with the other, most often spent drinking or fucking. Six days into their relationship, Frankie got a text from some girl he was casually seeing. Angie read it when he was out of the room, then confronted him, resulting in their first drunk screaming match, and, subsequently, their first instance of drunk make-up sex.
She worked at a global manufacturing plant’s central office with hundreds of other carpet-walkers and pencil-pushers as a financial analyst. Her hours often ran long and wound her up tight.
When she would show up at Frankie’s apartment after work, she’d be ready to burst. He’d fix her a drink and listen to her bitch about coworkers and projects and idiots who used reply all instead of reply, waiting for her to ask him anything about his day. She never seemed all that curious about him, though, which irked him.
They did have fun together, when they had sex and went out to bars, but by the end of the second month, he found her presence to be draining. That bug of discontentment wriggled beneath his skin. He realized they had little in common aside from their coping mechanisms and combustibility.
He started to think about breaking things off with Angie, but, by then, it was too late.
“Who would like to go next?” David asks, glancing around the circle of metal folding chairs and their scattered occupants.
Frankie meets his eyes and points his index finger at the ceiling.
“Floor’s yours, Frankie.”
“Thanks,” Frankie nodded and crossed his arms, sitting back in the squeaky chair, “Growing up, my dad wasn’t around much,” his mouth opens, but a thought occurs to him and he chuckles, shaking his head, “There’s one for the AA Meeting Bingo Card, huh?”
This actually earns a few amused grins and a snort of laughter from his peers.
He leans forward, pressing his elbows into his knees with a shrug, “Anyway. Even when he was living with us, whenever I did see him, he had a beer in his hand. And I thought it was normal, like everyone’s dad went to the bar every night, so I didn’t think much of it. I’m not sure when that changed. When I started to notice, I mean, that it wasn’t normal.
“When I’d go to my friend’s house, I thought they were… I dunno, fucking weird? Because they sat around the dinner table and talked to each other while they ate. And—and they didn’t seem afraid of their dad. Like, they didn’t have to walk on eggshells when he was around, which made me… uncomfortable, I guess,” he grimaces and shakes his head, “Jesus Christ, that’s fucked up. But, anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that, to me, my dad’s behavior was normal.
“There would be times when he would come home and be three sheets to the goddamn wind, and he’d yell and throw shit, and my ma, she would lock me in my bedroom and tell me not to come out. Said my dad wasn’t feeling well,” he crinkles his nose and shrugs, “They split when I was twelve. And I don’t blame her for leaving him, I really don’t, but… I didn’t see him again until I got out of basic.”
He stops and leans back, taps his fingers on his kneecaps, then crosses his arms. A knot tightens in his throat when he remembers that day. Knocking on the door of his dad’s shitty apartment in Orlando. When it swung open, Frankie barely recognized him.
Seven years left to his own devices aged him decades. Deep wrinkles carved into his droopy forehead. His nose and cheeks were darkened and bumpy, like he had a pubescent case of acne. He looked Frankie over with glossy, barely-there eyes and slurred, “There’s my boy! Hey, come in, Francisco, come in!”
Frankie’s stomach soured when the words hit his face, thick and swollen with whiskey. A warning signal that laid dormant in his veins for years reawakened, gushing hot and electric beneath his staticky skin.
His father turned and started waddling into the apartment, so Frankie followed him, closing the door left wide open behind him. The apartment was threadbare. A dingy beige couch sat on one side of the living room, facing a small antennaed tv propped up on a milk crate. Some blonde news anchor chattered on the tv, but the gurgling buzz of the air conditioning unit effectively muted her. In lieu of a proper dining room setup, his father had a folding chair tucked into a card table, which was cluttered by piles of unopened envelopes and empty beer cans.
While the stranger pulled two beer cans out of his fridge, Frankie managed to stitch some words together, “So, how’ve you been, Dad?”
He didn’t seem to hear his question, just held one aluminum can across the countertop to his son, “You’re a real man now, huh? Have a beer with me, Francisco.”
Frankie took a few steps forward and went to lean onto the counter, but decided against it when he realized how sticky the surface was. He accepted the beer and opened it.
“It’s been too long, my boy, too long. What has it been, four years?”
“Seven,” Frankie corrected, averting his gaze to a tower of dirty dishes emerging from cloudy, gray water in the sink. The wet, bacterial, rotting stench made his nose crinkle.
“Ah, well. I’m, well…” he trailed off and swallowed three big gulps of beer, then grinned, “So, Special Forces, huh?”
“Yeah, I—”
“I’m proud of you, Francisco.”
Frankie’s head jerked backwards and he met his dad’s dark eyes, “Wh-what?”
“Takes discipline,” he responded, nodding, “I’m proud of you. Your mom, she did a good job with you.”
And he wanted to say a million different things. He wanted to say thank you and I love you and I forgive you and I hate you and fuck you. He wanted to yell: No thanks to you, you drunk old bastard. You woman-beating fucking coward. A different part of him wanted to cry: Why did you abandon me? Why wasn’t I good enough? Am I good enough now?
But when he licked his lips and opened his mouth to respond, his dad shuffled off into the sad living room, changing the subject.
Frankie shakes his head and sighs, then looks around the room, “When Angie got pregnant, I vowed I’d never be like him. I—I wanted to be there for my kid, to be better than he was to me, and give my child a better life than I had.
“Ang and I don’t always, um… see eye-to-eye. We have our problems. I’m trying to make it work, but I’m just so,” the word catches in his throat and burns behind his eyes. He takes a deep breath, swallows, and admits, “I’m so scared it’s not going to work. And Ang will take her. And I’ll end up just like him.”
He clears his throat, then takes another wide, cleansing breath before starting again.
“The only things I’ve ever been any good at are being a soldier and being a dad,” he says, staring at the floor, “It’s hard enough only seeing her a few times a week right now. I fucking hate it. I hate not being there when she wakes up in the middle of the night with a nightmare, and not watching Happy Feet with her twice a day, and not cuddling on the couch with her in the morning,” his stomach clenches and he feels a swell of tears starting behind his eyes, but continues, “The only thing getting me through this right now is knowing that it’s temporary. But if it doesn’t work with Angie, and I lose Sarah, I lose fucking everything. And I—I fucking can’t do that. I won’t.”
Frankie buries his face in his hands and feels a sob bubble up his throat. The echo of his crying returns to his ears and he becomes acutely aware of the other people in the room. That hardened part of his brain scolds him, growling at him to fucking get it together. He pushes the chair out behind him and keeps his head down as he walks out of the room, muttering, “I need a minute.”
When your shitty old car pulls into the hotel parking lot, Frankie is still outside pacing, trying to gather the courage to go back inside and face the group.
He breathes a sigh of relief and starts towards it. You furrow your brow at him through your cracked windshield. When he opens the car door and sits down, you ask, “Why aren’t you in there?”
“It’s fine,” he frowns and pulls his seatbelt over his chest, locking it in place, “Got out early.”
You narrow your eyes at him, then scoff, “Bullshit. What happened?”
“Nothing—”
“Oh my god, Frankie, come on,” you cross your arms and lean back in your seat, searching his face, “You’re all flustered right now—”
“I am not,” he protests.
“You’re such a liar, you are flus-tered,” you blink at him with authority, raising one eyebrow, “All jittery, and your eyes look red—did you cry? Is that it?”
It’s irritating how well you know him.
He rolls his eyes and looks out the window, muttering against his fingers, “Can we just go?”
“It’s ok, you know, to cry,” you say quietly.
His leg starts bouncing and his jaw gnashes from one side to the other.
Like you’re one to talk.
Like you don’t go out of your way to hide from him every time tears pool in your eyes.
“Hey,” you coo and tug on his hand. He lets you take it, interlacing his fingers with yours. The contact makes his heart skip a beat. When he looks over at you, your brows are threaded together, earnest eyes searching his face, “You’re not the first person to cry in AA, I promise. They’re there to support you. Give them a chance to help.”
He glances up at the hotel’s exit and sees a few people from the meeting filing out, and shrugs, “It’s over now, anyways.”’
“Did you get your paper signed?”
“No.”
“C’mon, at least get credit for your work,” you smirk, squeezing his hand, “I’m sure they’ll understand why you left.”
He groans and scrubs a hand over his face, “Fine.”
“Atta boy,” you grin, “Do you want me to come with or do you got this?”
“I got this,” he flashes a weak smile, and has to hold himself back from bringing the back of your hand to his lips.
He unbuckles his seatbelt and gets out of the vehicle, nodding at a few familiar faces as he makes his way back into the building to the conference room.
In the room, a few people are putting away chairs or talking in small, quiet groups. David stands by the snack table, signing off on someone’s attendance form. Frankie lines up behind them and avoids David’s gaze when it’s his turn to hand over the attendance sheet.
“That was really vulnerable, what you shared with us today,” David tells Frankie as he unfolds the form.
His nostrils flare and he scoffs, “I thought I was supposed to share things.”
David frowns as he signs off on the paper, shaking his head, “It’s a compliment. Being vulnerable is good, and I appreciate your vulnerability.”
“Oh,” Frankie shifts his weight to one leg and frowns, “Thanks.”
“Yeah, of course,” David hands the form back, and when Frankie takes it, he can tell David is gearing up to say more. His face grows more solemn. He pushes the wire frame of his glasses up the bridge of his nose and says, “I know how conflicting it is being an alcoholic father with an alcoholic father. It’s hard to know if you’re doing the right thing. Being apart from them is hell, even if it’s when you’re doing something to make yourself better. I just wanted to let you know that I get it.”
Frankie nods, searching the man’s face, “Thanks, man.”
“No problem,” David flashes a polite smile, then turns to the snack table and starts picking things up.
When the two of you get home, Frankie goes into your bedroom to haul the TV back to its normal spot in the living room.
He finds himself lingering at the foot of the bed, staring at the side he slept in last night. At the covers, still drawn back from when he woke for work this morning. At the stuffed panda bear you set in his place at some point today.
My place.
He needs to stop thinking like that. It’s not his place. It can’t be his place.
Not permanently, anyway.
Part of him feels guilty for not leaving once you fell asleep. Staying was pure self-indulgence, no matter how many times he tries to convince himself it was for your benefit.
It can’t become a habit.
But all weekend he wanted to hold you. To feel your beating heart and shallow, wheezy breath against his body. Proof that you were still here, after seeing you gasping for air, lips tinged blue, eyes wide with fear.
In his life, he’s faced a lot of scary and uncertain situations. Situations that threatened his own life and that of people he cares about. But this… this was different. At least in combat scenarios, he had training and experience to guide him.
This weekend he felt powerless.
If he had to quantify the terror, he was at maximum capacity. Never been so fucking afraid in his life. He felt so helpless, he folded his hands and bowed his head at your hospital bedside, reaching out to something or someone in hushed whispers, pleading for your recovery.
So, no, he couldn’t bring himself to leave you alone in your bed last night. Not when you fell asleep in his arms, your head on his chest, curled up at his side.
The answer to his prayers.
When he was sure you were sleeping, he pressed his lips to your forehead and told you what he’s only barely been able to admit to himself.
In a million different ways, I’ve always loved you.
It was indulgent. Undisciplined.
But mostly, it was a relief.
Even if his words fell on your sleeping ears.
Even if he can probably never tell you again.
With a heavy sigh, he follows the TV’s power cord to the wall and unplugs it. He freezes when he spots something on the floor next to your dresser. You cough at the other end of the house, and he glances over his shoulder just to make sure you’re not around before he picks it up.
A pile of soft teal lace. Your underwear.
He brings them to his nose and inhales, the familiar scent inspiring a deep, heated churn at the base of his spine. Without another thought, he shoves them in the front pocket of his jeans, then unplugs the TV.
Frankie settles on the couch with a groan, then glances over to where you’re curled up into a little ball and asks, “Were you able to get some rest today?”
You nod and your mouth stretches into a yawn, then you murmur, “Still kind of feel like shit, though. Hopefully it’s better by Wednesday.”
“Oh yeah, how’re your kids doing?”
“Marla said they’re doing better, getting back to their normal selves. Em’s going back to school tomorrow.”
“That’s good,” he leans back and spreads out in his corner of the couch, “You like it, working for them?”
“Yeah,” you shrug, “They’re sweet kids. Whole different vibe than Sarah, though,” you glance at him and chuckle, “Don’t tell anybody, but she was my favorite.”
A grin stretches across Frankie’s face. He presses his fingertips to his lips and looks over at you, “She is pretty great, huh?”
“The best,” you agree, a wistful smile playing on your lips, “I hope that when I, um,“ you falter here, smile dropping. You clear your throat and shake your head, “Sorry, I lost my train of thought. Are you guys doing anything fun tomorrow?”
“Not sure yet. Angie, um… yeah, I don’t know,” he frowns at his knee as it starts to bounce, “She’s pissed at me. So probably, you know, dealing with that.”
“Because you skipped out on Saturday?”
He nods, and when you don’t say anything, he glances over at you, “It’s fine, though, she’ll get over it.”
“Sure,” you smirk, raising an eyebrow, “Have things been going ok outside of that?”
“Aside from the alcoholism, my pending felony, and the fact that I’m living with another woman?” he snorts, “Things are going great.”
“Don’t forget the affair,” you tease.
“Mmm, you mean the isolated incident?” he corrects, rolling his head on his shoulders to look at you.
You scoff and shake your head, “Wow. Yeah, isolated. Sure. Just a mistake, right?”
He searches your face, watching your eyes go dim and your jaw clench, and furrows his brow, “N-no, that’s not—“
You clamp your lips closed with your teeth, like you’re holding yourself back, then open your mouth anyway, “That’s what you tell her, though, right?” you blink, “It was a mistake, it meant nothing to you, it’ll never happen again, blah blah blah?”
His jaw hangs slack and throat croaks as he tries to yield some kind of truth that will both spare your feelings and help him evade scrutiny, “I’m—sorry.”
It’s all he can come up with.
You roll your eyes and sigh, then mutter, “Whatever,” before turning your attention back to the TV.
The silence that settles is tense. It writhes beneath his skin and trickles into his stomach, twisting it into knots.
You start to wriggle in your seat, like it’s bothering you, too. He can feel a jagged energy rolling off your body, and, predictably, you break.
“If you ever want things to actually work with her, you’re going to have to come clean,” you huff, then glare at him, “You know that right? That you can’t just lie to her forever? There’s no way she fucking believes you.”
Frankie sighs, picking his hat off his head to run a hand through his hair, “Can we not?”
“Sure, we can just not,” you snip and sit up straight, crossing your arms across your chest, “We can just pretend things are cool and groovy and you can get your life back and I can fuck off into oblivion.”
“Jesus Christ—”
“Well, fuck, that’s what you want, right, Frankie?” you stare at him, “You’ll be nice to me while you’re here, and cuddle with me, and hold my hand, and what the fuck ever, but when this arrangement is over, then what?”
“I don’t fucking know, ok?!” he snaps, then stands and starts pacing the living room, shaking his head, “I don’t know if—if I’m going to fucking prison, or if I’m going to lose my job, or if my wife will fucking divorce me and take my daughter away—”
Frankie stops and turns away from you, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. A few quiet seconds go by as he gathers himself and wrangles the burgeoning tears back into his skull. When he turns back around, he throws his hands out at his side, then lets them fall loose, “I don’t know what anything will look like after this,” he meets your glossy eyes, all wide and pained, and tells you in a hoarse, shaky voice, “Look, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being a fucking asshole to you for so long. I lied to you. I pushed you away. I fucking—I fucking hurt you and I understand that.”
He takes a few steps forward. Your eyes, pooling with tears, stay glued his, following seamlessly when he crouches down in front of you and pleads, “I’m trying to be better, I swear to god I’m fucking trying. I—I care about you a lot. And I’m sorry I can’t give you a better answer for what you and me will look like after this ‘situation’ is over with, because I have no fucking clue what anything will look like.”
You swallow hard and nod, then drop your gaze as your face crumbles. A sob bubbles up your throat and quickly devolves into a coughing fit.
“Ah, fuck,” he mutters, glancing around. He spots your inhaler on the coffee table and hands it to you, “Need this?”
You take it and inhale a few puffs of albuterol. When your breathing evens out, blink the tears from your eyes and croak out, “Sorry.”
He reaches up and smudges a fat, swollen tear on your cheek with his thumb, “It’s fine, sweetheart.”
A pained expression crosses your face. You lean away from his touch, so he sits down beside you as you exhale a thick sigh and look around the room.
“I understand why you wouldn’t tell Angie everything. I just—” one of your cheeks pulls in like you’re gnawing at the inside. You release it and tell him, “I just hate the idea of you saying we were a mistake. I don’t know. Is that dumb?”
Your eyes flick to his and they’re so sincere, his stomach flips upside down. He shakes his head, “No, that’s not dumb.”
“Ok,” you sniffle, nodding as you look at the TV, “Ok.”
A minute goes by, each second amplifying the buzz beneath his skin. He looks over and realizes you’re squished against the armrest of the couch, curled up in a tense knot of limbs, brow furrowed, biting at your lip.
“Hey,” he coos, beckoning you closer, “Come here.”
You give him this kind of pathetic, kind of cute pout, but accept the invitation. As he wraps an arm around your shoulders, you drape your legs across his lap, rest your head in the crook of his neck. He lays his cheek on the crown of your head and tucks you into an embrace.
Maybe it’s one-sided, but Frankie feels heat humming between your bodies.
The floral, minty scent of your hair, mixing with the musk of your soft skin, all dewy from humidity. Your breath rolling hot across the column of his throat.
You wriggle closer, and the weight of your body settles between his legs. Presses firm down on his half-hard cock.
His insides twist with a nagging, all-consuming want. The kind that usually fogs his brain when he thinks about booze. It claws at him like an animal caged within his ribs. Teeth bared, ferocious, growing: I need her I need her I need her
In the same cadence it always howls: I need a drink I need a drink I need a drink
The tips of his fingers scrape against your shoulder. A little whimper sneaks out your throat and drips down his spine. Your muscles shift and he can feel your lips hovering over his thudding pulse.
This is dangerous. This is a line. A tightrope teetering beneath the soles of his feet.
You breathe his name and it grazes his neck. His body surges with desire, cock throbbing, and he’s unable to stop the whine that croaks out his lips.
He looks down at you, meeting your darkened, heavy-lidded gaze. You study each other, but neither of you move, despite the palpable current of electricity between you.
“I—I should go to bed,” you whisper with little conviction, eyes darting to his mouth.
“It’s still light out,” he says, brushing the back of his hand against your cheek.
You shiver and your lips part, panting, “I need to clear my head—I’m… not thinking right.”
Frankie imagines you clearing your head in your bedroom with the door closed. Your fingers working between your legs, eyes pinched closed while you flip through the mental catalogue of all the times he’s fucked you.
“Can I come with you?” he asks, voice ragged, “I won’t—I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to.”
You search his face, brows pushing together, and nod.
This is stupid.
You both know it.
But he follows you to your room and closes the door behind him.
Sinks into your bed as you lay out on the other side.
You start slow, hands roaming the curves of your body. Over your tight tank top, no bra underneath, just the clear outline of your nipples. Along the middle of those little cotton sleep shorts he likes so much.
He keeps his distance, blood pounding thick in his skull, as you ruck your shirt up your chest and roll a hardened bud between your fingers. You whimper and bite down on your bottom lip, eyes locking to his as your other hand slips beneath the waistband of your shorts.
In his periphery, he can see the outline of your wrist flicking under the fabric, but he can’t part his eyes from yours. It’s entrancing. Your mouth opens in a moan, lips pouting out into a whimper as you start to gain traction.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” he groans, pushing his palm against his swollen length trapped within the confines of his jeans, begging for attention. He unbuckles his belt and tugs his pants off. At the same time, you pull your shorts down. Some sort of silent trade agreement.
Frankie wraps his hand around his cock and drags his grip down, pulling the sensitive, aching skin taught. His palm is dry and rough as he starts to rut up and down, but the friction gives his touch an edge that makes him shiver.
You’re watching him do this while you trail your fingertips along the shiny ridges of your sex. Saliva pools in his mouth when he remembers what you taste like. Imagines his tongue tracing the soft folds of you.
Your hips buck and you whimper when you touch your clit. You roll the pads of your fingers against the engorged bundle of nerves, eyelids fluttering as you work yourself.
You both find a steady rhythm, panting and whining, glancing between each other's legs, hands, eyes. The increasingly frantic movements make your bed squeak.
The two of you are so lost in the haze of pleasure, Frankie knows either of you could suggest physical contact between your bodies and the other would immediately say yes, but this fucked up little loophole has you both blissfully dangling on the precipice.
He’s trying to keep his commentary to a minimum, but you’re driving him fucking crazy.
Your blown-out pupils watching him fuck his hand. The sheen of sweat lacing your skin. A thick, gleaming layer of arousal coating your pussy and fingers. He wants to lick it off of you, taste you, drive his cock inside you and feel that divine squeeze.
As his heartbeat starts to gallop and the fire in his belly laps its way up his spine, he pants, “You’re so fucking hot, holy shit—do you like this? Like me watching you get off?”
“Yes,” you gasp, meeting his gaze, working yourself faster, “I do, Frankie, I like it.”
His name on your lips is like an electric jolt to his insides. He groans, “Say my name again.”
“Frankie,” you whimper.
A wave of heat washes over him, “Fuck yes, that’s so fucking good, baby—say it again—”
“Frankie,” you moan, sinking two fingers into your cunt, a sick wet sound squelching out as you start to fuck yourself.
“Such a good girl, holy fuck, that’s it,” he grunts, pumping himself faster, lightning churning in his belly, “Gonna make yourself cum, sweet girl?”
You nod feverishly, face pinched up with pleasure, hips arching into your touch, “Frankie—fuck fuck fuck—”
“There we go, baby, you can do it,” he rasps, and watches as your movements come to a fever pitch, then your body starts to shudder and you belt out this strangled moan that pushes him over the edge.
Pleasure ripples through him and he grinds his fist down a few more times, pulsing his load all over his hand, across the bedding, a few splatters reaching your hip. He groans and slows.
His muscles start to melt. He throws his head back into the pillow, then rolls his head on his shoulders to look at you.
Your chest is heaving and you’re all blissed out, a hazy smile on your lips.
“You’re not gonna freak out, now, are you?” he pants, searching your face. He reaches over and gives you a playful poke to show he’s only half-joking.
You meet his eyes smirking for a beat before you chuckle, “I don’t think so, but—could you get my, umm—inhaler?”
“Yeah,” he nods and rolls off the bed.
When Frankie returns, you’re pulling your shirt down over your tits and propping yourself up on some pillows.
“Thanks,” you murmur, then take it from him and inhale a few puffs.
“You ok?” he asks as he rolls onto the bed next to you, wrestling a pillow under his chest.
A coy smile plays on your lips when you glance over at him, shaking your head, “This was really dumb.”
He chuckles and shrugs, “Probably.”
“Fuck,” you giggle, burying your face in your hands, “Frankie, why did we do that?”
“Because we’re big dumb idiots?” he laughs.
“Speak for yourself,” you snort, curling up on your side to face him.
“Sure, yeah, of course. You’re super smart,” he teases, pointing between him and you, “This is definitely something that smart people do.”
“Oh my god, shut up,” you push his shoulder weakly. After a few moments of comfortable silence, you say, “We’re never going to speak of this again, are we?”
He opens his mouth to make a joke and attempt to sweep it all under the rug, but stops when he realizes it probably warrants a conversation.
“Do—is that what you wanna do?” he asks instead, stammering, “Because we can, you know, talk about it if you want to.“
“I don’t know what I want,” you sigh, your face folding into a thoughtful expression. A few moments pass, then your eyebrows shoot up and you look at him, “Ok, this is a weird time to ask this, but, I meant to ask you earlier and forgot.”
He nods, “Shoot.”
“My sister is getting married over Labor Day weekend, and because I’m her bridesmaid and family and blah blah blah, she wants me to go stay out there for the week, and umm, I don’t know how that works with your parole and stuff—”
“Do you want me to ask Ralph tomorrow?”
“Well, yeah,” you meet his eyes, “But—but also, can you come with me?”
It takes a moment for Frankie to register the question, and when he understands, his mind starts whirring with uncertainty. Angie. Court. Ralph. Sarah. Prison.
“Not, like, as my date or whatever,” you add, waving your hand around nervously as you explain, “I just–I haven’t been home in years because my family is the worst and I—” you sigh, face pinching up as you admit, “I could use a friend.”
That makes up his mind.
“Yeah,” he answers, “Yeah, as long as I’m not in fucking jail by then, I’ll make it work. Let me… let me talk to work and Ralph, see what I can do.”
You give him a restrained smile and say, “Thank you.”
After the two of you decide to get dressed and watch a movie, he goes into his bedroom to change into a pair of basketball shorts, while you supervise a packet of popcorn in the microwave. Giving his closed door a quick glance, he pulls the bundle of soft teal lace out of his pocket and opens a dresser drawer to tuck them away, but pauses when his thumb grazes something damp.
His brows furrow, then shoot up as he unfolds the underwear and recognizes the slick substance coating them. He brings the fabric to his nose and inhales, confirming his suspicion.
You must have noticed them when he was getting your inhaler. And rather than taking the panties back, or saying anything to him, you cleaned your arousal off and replaced them.
He grins at the present, because that’s what it is, really, then shoves the lace into his dresser drawer.
“Daddy, look, that’s Mumble,” Sarah tells Frankie, pointing one chubby, blueberry-stained finger at a plastic baby emperor penguin.
Her collection of penguins is lined up on the edge of the dining room table, in order of smallest to biggest. She wriggles around on his lap, looking up at him with those big brown eyes, waiting for acknowledgement.
“That one does look like Mumble,” he agrees emphatically, “What kind of penguin is he?”
“A empreror penguin!” she beams, throwing her hands in the air.
“That’s right,” he chuckles, “An emperor penguin! How many penguins do you have?”
Sarah’s eyes light up at the exciting new challenge, and she turns her attention to the plastic figurine lineup, counting each one out loud.
Frankie glances across the table at Angie. She‘s glaring out the window, her arms crossed over her chest.
“Ang,” he rumbles, but she doesn’t respond. A hot wave of frustration weaves through his muscles and pulls them taught. His nostrils flare and he shakes his head, muttering, “Whatever.”
The dining room chair scrapes against the floor as she pushes it out and stomps out of the room, down the stairs like a petulant child.
Sarah stops counting and tells him, “Mommy’s mad.”
He chuckles softly at this and nods, “Yeah, I think so. I’m gonna go talk to her, ok, sweetie?”
Sarah resumes her counting when Frankie stands and sets her in the chair. He finds Angie in the laundry room, folding clothes with sharp, agitated movements.
“Can we talk about this?” he asks. She doesn’t acknowledge him, so he continues, “Angelica. Come on. You haven’t said a word to me since I texted you on Saturday. Please, just tell me what’s wrong.”
“The fact that you don’t know what’s wrong is exactly what’s fucking wrong, Francisco,” she growls.
He sighs and steps closer, leaning one hip against the washer, “As much as I would love to be able to, I can’t read your mind. So if you could help me out, maybe give me a clue—”
“Do you need me to spell it out for you?” she snaps, tossing the small pink t-shirt in her hands into a laundry basket.
His head jerks back and he scoffs, “Sure.”
“You passed up time with your wife and daughter to be with your fucking mistress,” she blinks, then throws her hands up in the air, “Is it really so fucking inconceivable that I’m mad about that?”
“First of all, she’s not my mistress,” Frankie asserts, crossing his arms, “Second, she almost fucking died, Ang, I couldn’t just leave her alone in the hospital.”
“So, what, she didn’t have anyone else that could come sit with her in the hospital?” Angie snorts, raising an eyebrow, “I was about to say she’s a grown woman, she can take care of herself, but,” she sucks on her teeth and flashes him a faux sympathetic smile, “That’s barely true, isn’t it?”
“Jesus Christ,” he mutters, rolling his eyes, then stares at her, “You know that’s not true, and—and no, ok? She didn’t have anyone else to sit at the hospital with her. None of her family made it out, she doesn’t have any friends. Her boyfriend didn’t even come to visit, so,” he pushes off the washing machine and pinches the bridge of his nose, then drops his hand and lies, “I felt fucking bad for her, that’s all. She couldn’t breathe and was all sick and shit, and nobody cared enough to visit her. It was, I don’t know, it was sad and I felt shitty about leaving.”
She seems to consider this, then gives a little shrug, “That is kind of sad.”
He nods, searching her face, dark eyebrows all scrunched together in contemplation.
“She has a boyfriend?”
He nods, “Yeah. They’ve been together for a while.”
Not exactly a lie, but he can tell a little truth stretching will bring this conversation to a more comfortable place.
“I missed you,” he says in a pleading tone, meeting her eyes, hoping she buys it.
She sighs, “I missed you too.”
The glint in her eyes tells him it’s safe to approach, so he does. He presses his lips against her forehead, closing his eyes as he murmurs, “I love you.”
When Frankie gets home, you and Rory are sitting on the couch watching a movie together. His arm is draped over your shoulders and you’re huddled in his lap, head on his chest.
It reminds him of how the two of you are when no one else is around.
His blood pressure spikes and heats his veins. You perk up as you notice him, putting space between your body and Rory’s. A nervous smile spreads across your face. He doesn’t return the smile, just nods in greeting as he closes the door behind him, “Hey.”
Rory looks him up and down, then turns back to the TV.
“Hey, how’s it going?” you ask.
Frankie frowns and shrugs, “Fine. What’re you guys watching?”
Your phone starts ringing before you can answer. You sit up and grab it off the coffee table, muttering, “It’s my sister, I’ll be right back,” then tiptoe through the house to your bedroom, leaving him and Rory alone.
Frankie steps on the heel of his boot and starts to wriggle his foot free.
“Hey, man, I wanted to tell you—thanks for looking after her last weekend.”
Frankie glances up at Rory as he kicks one boot off, then the other, “Sure, yeah,” then starts off towards his room. Rory keeps talking, though, so he pauses.
“When she didn’t respond to me for a day I figured, ya know…” he shrugs, staring at him.
Frankie frowns and shakes his head, “Figured what?”
“Figured she ran off with you, man,” he chuckles, but his eyes aren’t smiling. They’re studying.
Frankie snorts and brings his hands to his hips, “What, really?”
Rory stands and saunters over, looking the way you left to make sure you’re still occupied, then tucks his hands in the front of his jean pockets and shrugs again, “Seems like y’all are pretty close. She doesn’t really like to talk about you. Kinda weird for someone who’s supposedly a friend.”
What kind of macho man bullshit is this? Is he… flexing?
“Yeah, she’s pretty private,” Frankie searches the other man’s face.
“Y’all ever fuck around?” he asks.
Frankie jerks his head back and frowns, “Uhh, sorry, what?”
Rory doesn’t say anything, just lets the air between them grow more hostile, flicking his eyes around Frankie’s face like a challenge. One that he’s not fucking interested in taking. Christ, what a fucking mess that would be.
Frankie scoffs and shakes his head, “No, we don’t fuck around. We’re friends. Ok?” He holds his hands up and tries to soften his face, “So, take it easy, she’s all yours.”
Rory seems to relax a little, then says, “Alright.”
“Alright,” Frankie chuckles with amusement, “We good?”
“Yeah,” Rory grins, offering a clenched fist to Frankie, “Sorry, man.”
“Hey, don’t sweat it,” he bumps knuckles with the meathead and tells him, “You two have a good time, alright?”
Frankie retreats to his room and locks the door behind him.
Every muscle in his body starts to deflate.
His thoughts are fuzzy and loud.
He starts for his bed, but pauses, and turns instead to the dresser, thinking of that teal lace.
Today is one of those rare July days where it’s not just tolerable to be outside, it’s actually enjoyable.
A slight breeze rustles the palm fronds above. The sun kisses Frankie’s skin. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, inhaling the scent of a neighbor’s charcoal grill.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
He cracks an eye open to find you standing over where he’s laying in the hammock and grins innocently, “What?”
“WhAt?” you mock him and snort, but pull up a chair and drop your little wicker basket in its seat, warning, “Ok, well, you’re sharing the hammock, at least.”
“Come on in, the water’s fine,” he tucks a hand behind his head and watches you roll into the hammock facing him.
You wriggle around for an entire minute, and when he starts to giggle at your restlessness, you whine, “Oh my god, scoot over.”
“Here,” he murmurs, shifting his weight so you lay roughly hip to hip, hooking one arm under your legs, “Better?”
“Yeah,” you breathe. Your body calms.
Then it’s quiet.
And the silence isn’t anything but peaceful, really.
“This is good,” you say eventually.
He’s not sure what this you’re referring to, but he agrees, “Yeah.”
You point to the sky, “That cloud looks like a gator.”
Frankie squints upward, examining the fluffy cotton balls hanging in the electric blue atmosphere, “That one looks like a cloud.”
A snort erupts from your face and you lay a playful smack on his thigh, “Oh, come on, use your imagination!”
“Ok, let’s see,” he clears his throat and tilts the bill of his hat back to take in more of the view. Then one catches his eye. He points to it, “Butterfly.”
You follow his direction and murmur, “Oh yeah, look at that. Neat.”
He studies it for a while, watching the two wings tumble and morph as it moves across the sky, until it’s just another nondescript cumulus cloud. Then he turns his attention to the basket you brought outside.
The hammock wobbles in protest when he sits up and lays it across the middle ground of your bodies. Frankie surveys the contents of the shallow wicker basket: a baguette; a dish of soft, white cheese with a little spatula-like knife sticking out the center; a bowl of red grapes and sliced strawberries; a couple of mandarin oranges.
He rips off a piece of bread and spreads some cheese across the soft inside, then sits back and takes a bite. You do the same, topping the cheese with some strawberries. As the two of you eat in a content silence, looking up at the sky, Frankie starts to ruminate on the confrontation that is surely lingering on the tip of your tongue.
Neither of you have dared to mention how you got off together in your bed. Surprisingly, it hasn’t changed the energy between him and you. But he’s found himself wondering if he’s just oblivious and unable to sense your disquiet, like he has in the past.
And now, since it’s Family Dinner, State of the Union, or whatever Ralph calls it, he braces himself for impact.
“Alright, let me have it,” he says after he finishes his second chunk of bread, nerves getting the best of him, “Do you wanna talk about it?”
The hammock shifts unsteadily as you sit up and put the basket back on the chair, then you lay back and stretch out, releasing a heavy sigh, “Honestly… I kind of don’t know what to say about it. I—I don’t know. I don’t feel different or have any kind of strong feelings about what happened.”
Frankie hums and looks over at you, watching your serene, skyward face.
“What about you? How do you feel?” you ask, leveling your gaze with his.
“I feel… the same,” he answers, frowning, “Like I should have a strong feeling, but I—I just don’t?”
“Yeah,” you chuckle, shrugging, “Well, I don’t know, should we just… leave it?”
Relief washes over him and he nods, “I’m ok with that if you are.”
“Ok,” you grin, then look back up at the sky, “Anything else you need to get off your chest?”
Frankie rifles through his brain, pausing to think about Rory and the odd confrontation that happened the other day. It left a bad taste in his mouth. But, he shakes his head, “No. You?”
“I can’t think of anything.”
“Alright,” he inhales the blissful breeze that tickles his sun-warmed skin, then exhales, repeating your earlier sentiment, “This is good.”
[ Next Chapter ]
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The Robron Break-Ups : A Definitive Guide (Part 2/Infinity)
*** UPDATED BECAUSE I LEGITIMATELY ALREADY MANAGED TO MISS ONE. I AM A HUMAN DISASTER. SO. NOW IT’S ACCURATE. YAY. ***
Part One / All
In this, the second part of the Robron Rejection Compendium, we look at the next 5 break-ups, even more honourable mentions and I start to cry about feelings, just a little bit. Go get yourself a cup of tea and settle in, because this part is way longer than it has any right to be.
(Also, to throw in a quick serious moment before i start cracking manslaughter jokes again, thank you so much for your kind comments and tags and likes etc for part one. I was kind of completely overwhelmed by the fact that people even took time to read it, because I wrote it half giggling to myself at how no one would be able to make it to the end of the thing. So, yes. I mean this with every bloody ounce of sincerity I have in my entire body - thank you so much for taking the time to read it. You all kind of made my evening.)
Anyway, on to Part Two and an honourable mention to kick things off…
Part Two: Pre-Manslaughter (continued)
Honourable Mention #2: 9th December 2014
The next honourable mention isn’t even slightly a break up - the opposite of one, actually, but this is my post and I’ll do as I please. This scene features Rob, strolling into the Woolie back room like he owns the place and confronting Aaron about the money Aaron is charging Chrissie for Robert’s car (mostly because he’s panicking about the fact that he’s somehow managed to start up an entire bloody affair with Aaron in the space of four days). The boys spend the whole scene arguing and Aaron is doing his absolute level best to wind Robert up and it’s working, but they’re also literally talking about how they’re absolutely without a doubt going to keep hooking up? This scene is just really underrated, basically, so I’m just casually dropping it in here.
Besides, it would absolutely sound like it would qualify, given how dismissive and rude they are to one another, if not for the fact that, I repeat, this whole snippy, agressive conversation exists for them to talk about the fact that they’ve just had some pretty spectacular angry sex and agree that it’s definitely going to happen again.
6. 15th December 2014
At number 6, we have Robert and Aaron, hanging around awkwardly in Bar West. Robert is upset about Andy melting Jack’s wedding ring - and also, it turns out, deeply uncomfortable about being in a gay bar. Aaron is unsympathetic, Robert is generally horrible and they argue - it gets vicious, and it feels like a big bright sign warning of the horrors to come. It all ends when Robert tells Aaron to ~have fun with his friends~ and flounces off. Rob goes home and makes some more terrible decisions about Katie and Andy’s rings. Exactly no one is surprised.
How long did it last? I mean, they don’t share a proper scene for two whole days but let’s be honest, they were probably already thinking about boning again by that evening.
Who came crawling back first? Robert tracks down Ross and Aaron two days later to warn them about Chrissie calling the police and Robert touches Aaron’s chest and Aaron looks down at Robert’s hand and my heart goes all googly and squiggly and this is basically what boy sex is, isn’t it? idk I am just a poor lesbian
How little did they mean it? 3/5. Both angry, but have no intention of stopping, because hate sex is fun and early robron are all about the hate sex. (Or at least highly annoyed at one another sex)
7. 23rd December 2014
Aaron’s been hiding out in Brighton for a few days. He rocks back up into the village and he and Adam jump right into planning a new business over a pint. Robert (eavesdropping, because he literally wants to be up in Aaron’s business at all times 24/7 by this point) helpfully decides to invest, because what’s a spare 10k between illicit lovers? Aaron goes up to the bar to order another drink and Robert tries to charm Aaron into also buying him one, in his overdone, smarmy way, before immediately taking it all back and offering to buy Aaron a pint instead. Robert uses his soft, intimate, ‘Aaron’ voice and it’s just great. Aaron does not think it’s quite as charming as I apparently do and tells Robert that he doesn’t want anything from him. Again. You’ll hear that phrase a lot as we journey through this relationship together, dear reader. A lot. It’s always a lie.
How long did it last? Two days. This was a big one. Hoo boy. Two entire days.
Who came crawling back first? Robert basically disregards what Aaron says immediately because two seconds later, he’s talking to Adam about investing in their as-yet-to-be-decided business. Adam mentions this to Aaron, who seems very wary and just generally Not About It. Two days later (Christmas Day, time for giving, time for family, etc.), Aaron has another pop at Robert, after listening to Vic cry over Rob’s fight with Andy the night before. Something Aaron says clearly strikes a chord with Robert, because he goes back to his family and apologises, talks candidly about his feelings and about Jack. Robert says “you had [Jack] more than I did in the end” to Andy and I CRY LIKE THE SAD AND EMOTIONAL HUMAN I AM, because I have Robert Sugden feelings and also because millie keeps posting jack/robert headcanons and they’ve all ruined me.
Aaron is, handily, on hand (…I’m leaving that phrase in, leave me alone) to overhear Robert acting like a good and well-intentioned human being for the first time in… a while, probably. Of course, Robert’s terrible past decisions come back to bite him anyway and everything gets screwed up with Andy. Again.
Aaron, however, has already been won over by the fact that Rob didn’t just listen to him, but actually followed through and made an effort with his family. Aaron’s is all happy and impressed and they have THAT CONVERSATION IN THE SUITS WITH THE SWAYING AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL AND THEN THEY RUN OFF TO THE PUB TO MAKE SWEET SWEET LOVE and then get immediately interrupted by Katie because god hates joy, but not before having an A+ kiss.
Anyway, at some point during this day, Aaron accidentally goes from hating Robert to falling hopelessly in love with Robert and that’s pretty much it for Aaron. He just.. he falls in love with Robert and never looks back.
Robert also starts to fall in love with Aaron probably (but I’m not quite sure he realises, or recognises it, and if he does he is very afraid of it, because, again, he’s still deeply closeted. He’s still set on marrying Chrissie and living out all his rich and powerful fantasies). Rob is still very difficult to read, so we may never know for sure.
Anyway, there are probably mutual feelings involved, because they keep smiling at one another and it’s lovely and I’m crying softly just watching it. Just look at their love. Their beautiful, non-murdery love. Ah, some things never last.
How little did they mean it? 4/5. Aaron meant this break up. Robert found himself so eager to get back into Aaron’s good books that he started throwing money at him again (still hasn’t learnt) and then, in a beautiful turn of events, decided to instead to actually listen to him and lo, we are treated to the first instance of Aaron helping Robert better himself and I get emotional all over again because HE’S A REAL BOY NOW.
Honourable Mention #3: 1st January 2015
Aaron and Robert start hooking up in their barn and Rob invests his spare 10k purely as an excuse to see Aaron’s face on the reg. They have little flirty meetings in the coffee shop and all in all, it’s a nice little break from the drama. No arguments, no break ups. Just barn sex and lying to everyone. It’s wonderful.
Of course, this happiness does not last very long, because it’s a soap. Real life interupts and Robert is forced to stand Aaron up on New Year’s Eve (and ends up half moping around all evening because he knows he could be off at the pub getting laid, instead of schmoozing rich people) (can you believe Robert would rather be with Aaron than rich people? It’s love) and Aaron, who absolutely hates to seem soft and needy, but can be so soft and so needy sometimes (and I mean this in the gentlest way), especially when it comes to Robert, is sort of pissed.
When Robert tries to cancel another plan, Aaron basically tells him that he either shows up at the barn for sex, or they’re done. Now, I don’t know how much I believe that threat personally, because I’ve written 4000 words so far on how much they suck at staying away from one another, but Robert seems to believe it, and, without even pausing to think things through, makes the decision to meet up with his secret boyfriend rather than babysit with his soon-to-be-Step Son, Lachlan.
Anyway, Aaron and Robert meet up, argue, have sex and it’s just generally A+++++
What do you mean this doesn’t count as a break up? Pfft you write it.
(…ok fine it’s not a break-up, but they do talk about ending things after Robert gets married, so it counts. Not to be spoilery, but that works out about as well as we’ve all probably come to expect from these two. Not even murder can keep them apart.)
Oh and stuff happens with Lachlan blah blah
ETA: THERE IS A BREAK UP THAT I OH-SO CASUALLY MISSED (it happened during the ‘Lachlan blah blah’ part of the episode), so here we have it - a hastily made edit for you all, because I am a big, strong, adult person and I can totally own up to my mistakes.*
(*a bald-faced lie)
8. 1st January 2015
Lachlan’s in hospital and Robert is in some deep shit with Chrissie and Lawrence - mostly because he’s nowhere to be seen. On the other side of the village, Aaron and Robert are finishing up their literal tumble in the hay when Aaron casually asks Rob out for a pint. Robert chooses this exact moment to check his messages, sees what has happened and runs off to the hospital in a panic without even stopping to give Aaron an explanation.
While Rob is at the hospital being yelled at, Aaron goes to the pub by himself to mope. Rob shows up (having been kicked out of the hospital by Chrissie) and gets yelled at again, this time by Zak, who is worried about Belle. As Zak yells and Robert tries to defend the fact that he was too busy boning his secret boyfriend to babysit, Aaron quickly realises what exactly has happened. He and Robert meet in their favorite spot, the Woolie loos and Aaron tries to offer a sympathetic ear. Rob unfortunately has had just about enough and takes his frustrations and panic out on Aaron. They start to argue and Robert says that “whatever this is between us” (it’s love) is over. Surprising to zero people at this point, this turns out to not be true.
How long did it last? This is a pretty long one, as it happens. It lasts about a week. AN ENTIRE WEEK.
Who came crawling back first? It’s Robert, of course it’s Robert. The very next day, he goes to the pub and tries to get Aaron alone to talk about ~his investment~. It’s as if the words “we’re over” have literally no value when they’re coming out of Robert’s mouth and directed at Aaron, or something. Ah Robert, the world’s biggest drama queen.
Aaron really isn’t having it, however. In fact, after Lachlan and Belle almost become the first (but absolutely not the last) casualty of Aaron and Robert’s affair, Aaron remembers that Robert Sugden’s numero uno priority is still Robert Sugden (don’t worry kids, that will change). Anyway, Aaron is getting freaked out - but then, it’s been a month since they’ve kissed and they’ve already started an entire actual Honest To God Affair, managed to break up 8 times and now they’ve almost killed a child. So. No bloody wonder.
(There is a small moment on the 2nd January between Aaron and Chas, as they talk about her unease at Robert’s suspiciously big investment - because of course, Chas doesn’t yet realise that Rob is actually basically investing that money in his Little Rob. Chas mentions to Aaron that Robert seems committed to investing in the business, like he’s Aarons “guardian angel” or something. Aaron gets this little interested look on his face and I have sudden and visceral flashforwards to the multiple times Robert will actually and actively save Aaron’s life in the next few years, and I cry.)
Anyway, Robert goes to find Aaron at work a few days later and tells him that Lachlan’s going to be ok. Rob looks all happy and keen to get it back on, but instead, he gets another earful from Aaron, who quite rightly assumes that Robert cares more about protecting his own secrets than he does Lachlan’s life.
Robert then decides to send the infamous “kiss and make up” text that ends up basically killing Katie. Imagine. Death by smarmy text. What a piss-take.
How little did they mean it? 1/5. Robert came crawling back the very next day and Aaron literally buckled after a stupid text. Like. From all appearances, they basically did kiss and make-up. We don’t even see them make up, they just share a Look as they walk past each other in the pub (but boy howdy, is it ever a good Look) and in that instant, we can all tell that they clearly just jumped straight back into it. Words have lost nearly all meaning at this point. They just like the drama.
9. 7th January 2015
Katie’s been gossiping about the “kiss and make up” text and Aaron drags Robert in to the Woolie back room to warn him. Robert, as is his wont, panics and sort of… calls the whole thing off… for now. Maybe Robert has finally learnt that there’s no point in trying to stop their relationship completely?
Either way, Aaron’s not happy about this sudden stop to their sexy times and as Rob walks out the door, he gets that sad/angry look on his face and I sort of just want to hug him because son, you are in way too deep considering how tragically closeted and technically unavailable Robert is.
On the other hand, hindsight is beautiful thing and it’s all going to work out mostly fine for most people in the end. Sort of. Apart from all the deaths. Oh well, it’s 2017 now, who cares. You keep being helplessly in love Aaron. I’m into it.
How long did it last? This ‘we’re strangers, we’re not meeting up and we’re absolutely not boning’ thing lasts exactly two days. Barely that, to be honest, because despite what Robert says, he still ends up having a conversation with Aaron about their affair in plain daylight, in public, the very next day. But hey. Whatever.
Who came crawling back first? Aaron tries to talk Robert round the next day and inadvertently gives Robert the idea for an Evil Plan, which Robert quickly puts into play so that they can get back to “business as usual” (as they agree while standing in the bathroom, while I cry over their sizzlin’ chemistry) (how can two people have that much sexual chemistry while standing in front of a toilet?)
How little did they mean it? 3/5. I mean, Robert meant it, but he also did everything he could to make sure that it would only last as long as he could go without (i.e. two days)
Honourable Mention #4: 12th January 2015
Aaron and Robert are back at it - or they would be, if not for the fact that Cain is basically dying and so Aaron’s all sad and distracted. Rob, in an effort to cheer Aaron up (because he cares and he has human feelings and he wants Aaron to be less sad and he cares), makes Aaron a cup of tea and calms his nerves and then, when that doesn’t work, grabs him and hugs him. Aaron’s confused and overwhelmed face is an exact mirror of my own every time I watch this beautiful scene. Is this really our panto villain Robert Sugden?
….this is obviously an honourable mention because before this scene, Rob tries to get Aaron to come up to the barn for a quickie and Aaron turns him down. So. Totally counts.
Honourable Mention #5: 13th January 2015
Aaron tries to back out of the business, because he’s panicking about letting Robert down and potentially losing him. Robert is all sweet and comforting and says to Aaron, and I quote, “Don’t get cold feet. You’ll make me think I fell for a quitter.” and Aaron looks so bloody astounded that I struggle to breathe. Then, if all of this wasn’t enough to send me to A&E, Robert smiles and says “Good meeting” and literally everyone has to take a moment to collect themselves because what. the. hell. is. this. SORRY IT’S BEEN OVER TWO YEARS AND I STILL CAN’T COPE WITH THIS SCENE. It’s just… it’s amazing. They’re gonna love each other forever.
..WHAT DO YOU MEAN STOP TALKING ABOUT THE CUTE SCENES YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT THE CUTE SCENES DID YOU THINK I JUST WOULDN’T MENTION THIS SCENE WHO DO YOU THINK I AM YES THIS COUNTS BECAUSE AARON TRIED TO PULL OUT OF THE BUSINESS IT COUNTS leave me alone I’m just a human
10. 30th January 2015
Aaron and Robert are just about as happy as two people can be whilst sneaking around behind everybody’s backs (hint: so happy, so loved-up, just utterly enjoying one another’s company, plus no one’s died yet… honestly, everything is hum diddly). Aaron and Adam have a new portacabin, which Robert comes to check out (oh wait, no, why would he check out a portacabin when he could be checking out Aaron). Robert books a hotel room with a late check-out and then crawls around the bed in his underwear. It’s all just great.
Amidst this happiness, Aaron is intermittently reminded, however, that Robert is actually still very much with Chrissie, so we get to watch Aaron lurk moodily around the background feeling sad and jealous and honestly, suddenly the Aaron in more recent episodes starts to feel so much more familiar… Poor love.
Anyway, the boys are preoccupied with their own dramas for a bit (Aaron’s dealing with the scrapyard and Eric. Robert is dealing with the fact that apparently, in Emmerdale, watching porn is, in fact, the worst damn crime you can commit). They’re most likely meeting up for more barn sex while all this is going on, but hey. It’s not shown on screen. All we’ve got is our imaginations. Aaron pops up to tease Robert about the porn and they flirt in the coffee shop, Robert books another hotel and Aaron gets himself into a suit. It all ends in tears, though, as Katie and Chrissie arrive at the hotel, ruining Robert and Aaron’s hot night and thus, the calm before the real storm comes to a startling, abrupt end.
The next morning, Robert tracks Aaron down at the scrapyard to apologise. Aaron’s having none of it, knowing that Robert is getting married in a week and that they can’t carry on beyond that, but desperately wanting so much more (…clearly these boys haven’t been paying attention if they honestly think they can stop, but… we’re not getting into that just yet, we’ve got months of this ahead of us…)
Robert looks sad, Aaron is pissed off, threatens Robert with a broken nose and says “do one”. Rob rightly takes this as a cue to not follow Aaron into the portacabin. This gets Robert angry, so he goes off to confront Katie (because she ruined his dirty night away with Aaron with all of her completely correct assumptions and now Aaron doesn’t want to talk to him).
How long did it last? While Rob is busy distracting himself with a spot of casual arson, Aaron ends up sitting with Paddy, sad about Robert and beating himself up about letting himself get in so deep. He ends up sort of accidentally telling Paddy that he’s in love with Robert (well, he doesn’t use Rob’s name). Aaron, in this scene, essentially says that he’s incapable of just walking away from the affair, so it’s nice that at least one of them has some level of self-awareness. After a few days, Aaron comes to the decision that he’s going to let Robert stew.
Meaning this particular break up lasts more than 2 days.
In very loose terms, it lasts 5 days. 5 days of them playing games with each other, at the ultimate expense of Katie’s life and a bit of flooring.
In more realistic terms, this is the end of their relationship as they know it - this is, in fact, the break up that starts off a series of dramatic, tragic and unapologetically soapy events that will define their entire relationship for the next year.
Who came crawling back first? Robert drops in to see Aaron 3 days after their argument, but Aaron’s still having none of it. Rob leaves, sad and hurt and without a secret boyfriend. The next day, they bump into one another at the cafe and make some eyes at each other. Robert tells Aaron to meet him at their barn, which Aaron doesn’t do, so instead we get a shot of Robert sitting alone in their barn in the dark and looking Drama Queen levels of tragic.
Rob is… well, he’s onto Aaron and feeling kind of bitter about the whole thing, so when they meet up in the woolie bathroom later that day, Robert explains to Aaron that he’s had this Big Amazing Epiphany™ and that actually Aaron meant nothing to him and… nobody believes you tbh Rob, but you do you. As with all of Robert’s impulsive, emotional decisions, this has terrible consequences and pushes Aaron into deciding to blow the whole affair to Katie.
Literally the next day, Aaron asks them to start things up again (so that he can #Expose Robert to Katie) and Robert goes along with it pretty much immediately, ready to not just start things back up again, but also continue them after Robert is married. Because Robert has also long since realiseed that he’s not ready to let Aaron go and he’s done with the game playing.
How little did they mean it? 1/5. Yes, it lasted a while, but Aaron stayed away with the pure intention of somehow getting Robert to leave Chrissie, and Robert ended things to get back at Aaron for standing him up. And… ah. This emotional game playing does not work out for them. This absolutely does not work well for them.
…I mean, it does work, in the sense that they’re together now, in 2017, but… oh dear.
Next Up: The Real Dark Ages
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