#idk this is why I gotta stop | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sexyleon · 1 year

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I officially completely unplugged myself as much as I can 🙃🙃🙃 I’m way too reliant on my phone and waiting for people to talk to me is super unhealthy and has made me very anxious. I literally turned off ever single possible notification and will purposefully not be responding to messages because I just need time a space to figure out how to navigate myself without validation from others.

#plz no sexyleon #life update basically #I’ll still be using tumblr and stuff and I’ll probably reply to things on here #but I likely wont be responding to direct messages #I just???? I’m too clingy and needy and I feel reliant on the people I talk to for any sort of social interaction to be happy #I gotta figure it out because my mental health is in the shit and I can’t be reliant on others for stability #and I didn’t even really notice that’s what was happening until all my friends were busy on the same day and I really just needed someone #anywyas sorry this is complicated I just needed to vent in the void #also for my mutuals who I talk to all the time this is why I’m afk and I’m sorry I love you very much I just have to figure it out #why am I insane and hoping people try to reach out to me anyways??? just to say they are here if I need anything?? like I do to them????#idk this is why I gotta stop #im the loneliest bitch in the world but I really can’t be anymore I gotta be alone in this bitch but not lonely #or I need to make friends with my loneliness and we can tackle the world together #otherwise im not going to survive #my anxiety is out of the roof and I constantly feel like I’m having heart palpitations #I literally think I’m going to die sometimes #I used to say I’d prefer the anxiety over the depression because I know how to navigate anxiety #well guess what my anxiety evolved like some sort of mega Pokémon and now it’s kicking my ass and I don’t have any idea how to defeat it #sorry for venting

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spirk-trek · 11 days

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gota blast

#this started out as just one photo to send to my sister #and now i can't stop #why are they always running like this #spock #captain kirk #scotty #star trek #star trek tas #star trek tos #star trek the animated series #star trek the original series #meme #???#idk if this counts as a meme #it's an inside joke with myself at this point #shitposting #james t kirk #jim kirk #GOTTA BLAST

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yamsgarden · 6 months

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flirt flirt oh it hurts

#my art #melone #ghiaccio #meloghia #idk why i never get tired of drawing ghia flirting with melone who's gotta resist his shitty charms ahhahaa #cant stop loving their dynamic #la squadra di esecuzione

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bumpintheroad · 5 months

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when someone stops flirting with me it makes me wish i never started flirting with them to begin with

#i feel a lot of shame around it and idk why #gotta sit with this feeling and figure out what’s going on here #people have things going on outside of me and i need to stop assuming i’m doing something wrong #i think it’s bc i tend to equate flirting with interest and if someone stops flirting w me i assume they’ve lost interest #and i know it’s a ridiculous assumption but my brain isn’t nice to me ever #so here we are🤷🏻‍♀️#anyways ignore me i’m just talking to myself

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zebratimw · 1 year

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Spirit animal SQH

#svsss #shang qinghua #but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but #but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee #also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but #I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg #oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left #I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something #or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird #LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm #I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either #I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself #eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up #I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa #man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong #cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk #its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment #with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig #and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down #but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications #and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly #man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk

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spitblaze · 2 months

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I'm not a psychologist or a politician or anything approaching an expert about literally anything except a few specific video games but I feel like so many people wouldn't be agonizing over the moral implications of one (1) vote if we as the less-than-uppest-of-upper-crust had the ability to meaningfully affect change in ways other than 'spend money/do not spend money, vote for the red or blue tie'

#spitblaze says things #im aware its significantly more complicated. but i think this is whats driving a not insignificant amount of posting #biden has been doing a godawful job with foreign policy. i am under no illusion that trump will do better #you can still just THREATEN to withhold your vote. i get why some might not want to but its an option.#every presidential election since 2008 has been the most important election in american history. im tired.#idk man. i havent been super engrossed in politics since high school but ive never seen this much agonizing over whether or not #pwople should vote like. at all #personally im of the opinion that you should. its a good thing to do. but you should also exercise your power to put pressure on politician #and threatening to not vote for them is a pretty good way to do that #i gotta stop posting abour serious shit. but maybe id do it less if shit sucked less. so here we are #free palestine. if federal level politics is driving you insane then pay more attention to local level stuff. join a mutual aid org #and donate esims and food money to gaza. do things besides agonizing about november

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weneedatdcharacterwho · 3 months

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we need a ridonculous race duo who literally joined the show just so they could play pokemon go all across the world

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#y'know idk why I never thought about that #RR's mistake was not making actual fodder characters who existed for a joke #like I'm imaging these two stopping because- omg there's a regional pokemon we don't have! gotta catch it #total drama #total drama ridonculous race #coralpilled

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unforth · 3 months

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Actually, I really wish Tumblr as a whole was less comfortable using feminizing language for gay men, especially gay East Asian men.

#unforth rambles #brought to you by the person i saw call chu wanning 'mo ran's mother' and the person who defended them #putting aside the question of accuracy re his role in mo ran's life #the words parent and father both exist yall #like idk but also wtf #see also girlboss and such being applied to gay men #idk i feel like im in the vast minority on this one #but my whole life ive seen gay men feminized in real life against their will #no matter how masc they were or wanted to be everything became fem #maybe im just to old to be with the times on why this is cute and funny abd okay #but given tumblr demographics and all #like shit like this is imo why so many women and afab nb people in fandom get accused of fetishizing #we older queers remember when doing this was considered disgusting homophobia actually #and imo it goes double or triple when they gay men in question are east asian #i really wish we could just fuckin stop #to be clear im not saying it IS fetishizing im saying i wish there was more awareness of the history of forced feminizing language #being used towars gay men in general and toward east asian men regardless of sexuality #for a lot of people i gotta think the knee jerk reaction to this kinda language being used is these context isnt teehee how cute #its ew who would say that #anyway i blocked op on the mo ran stuff but it still left a bad taste in my mouth

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danwhobrowses · 3 months

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Okay sure just split the group again I'm sure nothing could go wrong this time dividing them into sub-groups to sting at high levelled and relatively unknown areas with high risk and high threat of boss level enemies in the vicinity and then go on another break to make us stew on that, it's fine IT'S FINE!

#critical role #bell's hells #cr spoilers #c3 e89 #critical role spoilers #the volition #ruby vanguard #the imperium #ruidus #unseelie court #universe really gotta hit me with Frieren season finale and CR going on a break AND One Piece going on a break!#it's like you want me to have nothing to do on Friday #honestly how many times in all 3 campaigns has splitting up worked? Not a lot Matt it's just evil PCs have died #my Callowmoore heart of course is relieved that Ashton and Fearne are in the same group this time - they're not gonna lose her again #maybe we can sneak in some combo moves for Bearne and Bashton - play a bit of holies #but still it's difficult to gauge how to deal with Athion plus maybe a dragon indoors plus Ira's willingness to leave people behind #Otohan and Ludinus can be lurking anywhere too #we still have no idea where Ryn is being kept either #the Liliana assassination attempt is doomed to fail and as much as it's a terrible choice I think Imogen needs to let her go #she talks about Ludinus like an abusive lover but acts blind to the cries of the people she says she's protecting #like woman go home! If they need you then removing yourself from the board stops them that's why there's a target on your back #but we all believe in Gaz supremacy at least #and more moon lore always gotta have the moon lore #tag reader's bonus: turtles live in every continent except antarctica #idk usually I have this many tags in ship posts so I drop a headcanon but this is more just panic so you get a nice turtle fact

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scoliosisgoblin · 2 months

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Jay gta au feat. Bennie

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gibbearish · 4 months

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idk how to say this right but i feel like people going through aaron bushnell's reddit comment history to try and figure out how Morally Pure™ he was and therefore if you're allowed to support his actions or not are. missing the point. in a lot of ways

#and i do mean this in both directions bc I've seen. so many posts along these lines already #and it's like. whether he was in the acab subreddit or made lizard people jokes kind of pales in comparison to #Actively Being Part Of The Murder Machine and that was the entire point #if you're looking for his moral values i feel like it's weird to try and find secret truths buried in his comment history #rather than going off of him Choosing To Die In The Number One Worst Way To Help Stop To Genocide #why is The Most Final Thing You Can Do somehow less meaningful than a couple reddit comments #and in the other direction it's like. i gotta be real with you his opinions on fatphobia do not mean shit nor fuck to me #and that's coming from someone who mods on an anti fatphobia blog like. it does not seem remotely relevant #he died to draw eyes to Palestine and when people go looking for moral purity out of him like this it just feels like they're #just. trying their hardest not to look where he asked.#what is the point of bringing these things up?#like. ok he made some shitty jokes. well now he's dead so it's not like he can go anywhere with it. what is your ultimate goal #do you want to bring awareness to something or do you just want people to stop talking about him because of what his death meant #idk #origibberish

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bearyyayay · 9 months

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Alright done

I changed my mind a little bit

I drew him with bullet wounds instead

Also made a edit about it cause I'm bored

Randomized Editor is my Tik Tok acc, if you want to see edits about The Lost Heaven Trio, check my acc :)

#mafia definitive edition #sam trapani #drawing #my art #my edits #edit #I CANNOT SLEEP IDK WHY #but i got some orders tho #ill do that later #i cant sleep yet i feel sleepy wth #I DRAW HIM TOO MUCH #I GOTTA STOP DRAWING HIM FOR A WHILE OMG #I POST ABOUT HIM TOO MUCH HELP BRO

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 7 months

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I will not give up on my love

#like. I'm not gonna stop loving the things I love just becayse a switch flicks in my fickle feelings and makes me feel like I don't #love them anymore. idk why this happens #but I've lost far too many interests/hyperinflations/things that I do honestly genuinely love to stuff like this #and like. feelings lie. I don't actually hate the sound guy just because I feel like I don't ever want to think about him again #in fact I actually still want to be friends with him!!#I don't suddenly Not Like the music I like because I feel Weird about it. I'm #I've just gotta kinda push through I think. because I don't want to lose all these things. there's no reason for me to feel like this #idk I'm just. a mess. I just want to hang onto stuff. I hate how I move on from things and then hate them #so I'm Choosing to Not do that this time #Lu rambles

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bunnihearted · 3 hours

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it is so fucking insane that palestine is suffering extreme, like beyond insane, violence done to them by ppl worse than nazis, and the world just sits idly by and allows it

#ofc there are people and countries who try to fight for them. i know that there are so many and their efforts are valuable #i just mean that it is true that palestine has suffered extreme pain done to them by 'israel' aka colonizers for years and years #and no one is stopping it #it's just bone chillingly awful and insane #i cant even believe it is true and real #i think it's extreme to round people up and mass shoot them (which has happened sm over the world)#and israel are torturing and slaughtering and humiliating and genociding completely innocent ppl #on the only basis that they HATE... the rightful owners of that country... i dont understand how that hatred even happens #but that the world allows them to just keep getting more and more depraved and sick and cruel and doing nothing?#i mean like sure i can understand that situations r more complicated than what i - someone who isnt in the know of the politic's underworld #like the reason no one stepped in concerning ukraine and russia is bc they're scared of world war??? so they say #but i just think that complete genocide shouldnt be complicated? it is wrong on EVERY single level #israel are invaders!!!! and are torturing innocent ppl when theyve stolen that land!!! why is that complicated? stop them!!!!#idk it just drives me insane bc what can i even do??? ofc there are protests and stuff but i dont see anything happening? it just keeps goi #and rmbr that this isnt new.. israel torturing and slaughtering palestine has been happening for tens of tens of years #after around 3 yrs of ww2 everyone was like damn we gotta do smth!!!!! and ended it #why is this different? do smth!!!!!! that the world allows this utter and complete cruelty and sadism is fkn insane

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mazojo · 20 days

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Anthony having to witness the two people he loved the most (almost) die in his arms is actually so sick

#oh they chose all the stops for him didn’t they that is narratively so vile. I need ten more of these #I still stand by what I said on my last post but you gotta admit my character lover individual loves the drama and flare #the way our narrative paths close on each other and he blames himself and oh god this is sickkkkk #bridgerton spoilers #like we been knew something like this was gonna happen but oh wow they WENT there #bridgerton #Kate #Anthony #also like Theo is nice and all surely a good fella but what is this Eloise and Theo storyline lol??#like. I am sorry but like??? Eloise is clearly queer right? like. I thought we made that clear?#idk like I understand the time period or whatnot but they had a few queer allusions so why not make Eloise LI a girl? me thinks they don’t #get it the way I do I fear #I hope next season she gets a girlfriend and this was all a weird fever dream #like she seemed so uncomfortable and forced around Theo ALSJSKKW Everytime they were on screen I was like what is going awn sakkssk #side not of the side note Omg I love Gregory he is such a pookie that’s my child right there !!!!! I bet he grows up to tell awesome jokes #fav bridgerton fr after Eloise

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soldier-poet-king · 4 months

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SAD!

#the duality of fran #ignore me theres just so much its midnight i am perpetually exhausted snd yet cant sleep #melatonin. melatonin save me. save me melatonin #just hugely sad suddenly #desperately terribly sad and idk why #annoyed af bc politics at family dinner my shitty uncles alabaman wife was like IM VOTING FOR TRUMP #MAAM???? MAAM??????????#it turned into a Whole thing #and ive stopped drinking most weekends. im trying to be good I know how easy it is to just have a glass or two or three of wine #so i only drink when i want to and am in a good mood #so not. just bc shitty family #BUT YKWIM #and then idk. im just. really sad and despairingly lonely and idk whY #OBJECTIVELY LIFE IS GOOD AND EVERYTHING IS FINE #and YET #idk man. im going to curl up into the tiniest ball possible under all my blankets #and pretend that weight is comforting human contact #my joints will complain but i gotta squish myself #touch starved touch averse meltdown yknow. yknow. one of those #disgusting and pathetic and selfish!!!! to delete later #tmrw i have to be responsible and good again #and i will stop moping stop thinking abt it go back to pretending that there isnt a void in my chest!!!#fine!!! this is fine!!!

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