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multifandomwhore-003 · 1 year

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Coward

Pairing: Robby Keene x female! adopted! Moskowitz! reader

Summary: Honestly, just the most angsty shit I've written in a while.

Genre(s): angst,angst, and more angst.

Warning(s): I'm only following the show's timeline from season 1 to the first half of season 4. They're Taylor Swift/Billie Eilish/other depressing artists coded, more specifically "No time to die", "My tears ricochet", "I love you", "The Archer", "Afterglow", "Line without a hook", "All too well" "That way", "You broke me first", "The Great war", and the list goes on and on so just pick your poison.

Taglist: @rafecameronswhore @barbiekatz @l-o-v-r-s @kaitieskidmore1 @rosepetalsparks join taglist here

A/N: QUICK DISCLAIMERS, I made the reader adopted bc clearly Eli's/Hawk's family is white so this way the reader can be a poc if that's the case, I started this back when S4 came out and just finished it... what does that say about me? Idk. ALSO, Robby's S4 era will always be superior, Robby from S4 you will always be famous, he was unhinged, hot, a menace, and iconic, in this essay I will-

Gif credits to whom they belong

𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚗

REQUESTS CLOSED

THIS IS NOT FREE USE, YOU CAN NOT USE MY WORK

Reblog if you like

The All Valley's karate rivalry was as old as time, as strong as god's will, and in your opinion, as stupid as it sounds; not to everyone though, especially your brother, the great and mighty Hawk who loved to parade around the city with his new look that carried every piece of confidence he had, unfortunately, now that it was taken away from him, he felt worthless.

You never had a thing against any of the participating parties in this ridiculous dispute, you didn't mess with them, and they didn't mess with you, but you had a limit whenever they attacked your brother, a tiny fine line that went from 'superficial wounds' to 'profound damage' and they crossed it. More like, Robby 'cute face' Keene, crossed it. Even though there was a 98% chance that your brother had brought this on himself, he was still your brother and you'd do anything for your family.

You pushed the glass doors storming into the empty section of the building and hearing them slightly vibrate behind you, "Keene," your voice was stern, no response, "Keene!"

"Back here!" He yelled from the back room.

The stride of your heels resounded in every corner of the concrete, a strong, dominant, and potent tone that could easily make anyone even slightly fearful. And Robby Keene wasn't the exception, no matter how many times Sensei Reese and Sensei Silver prepared him to be a champion, no matter how many hours he had proven to be Cobra Kai's worthiest inheritor, no matter how much muscle mass he gained by the minute, no matter how many days he spent in prison, no matter how many people he'd fought, no matter how many kids in the valley were scared of him, everyone has a weakness, and you were one of his.

There wasn't something in this world he could hate more than that because it didn't make sense, it didn't make any fucking sense for you of all people to hold so much power over him after everything that happened, there was an evident reason behind esteeming the adults around him, some of the other students even, but you? What else were you if not a lovely face? The most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his life, he knew the answer, a little too well for his liking, and as much as he hated it, the fact that you were so out of reach made him want you more.

But he pretended, okay? Oh, he loved, adored even, to act all tough and cocky around you as if you couldn't break his entire facade into little pieces if you so much as softened your features for him, a minimal act he thought he'd never see again, and still, he'd imagined it, he'd daydream about it almost every time you were near him, which with the new tournament coming up, seeing you became more and more recurrent, and so, it didn't get easier to hate you, in fact, the more he saw you, the harder it got.

If and only if you were held at gunpoint, you'd admit that the boy was attractive, pretty even, mostly because you would be sentenced to death by your family or hanged for treason by your brother's friends, but also because confessing to like him meant confessing you liked the guy who for better or for worse, ended up in juvie, and it was something that you didn't wanna be linked with.

You didn't have to say it to know that after all, you were still genuinely captivated by his physique and attitude, the way he carried himself everywhere he went, his ability to make himself seen without saying a word, how he wasn't easy to overlook; maybe it was just you who noticed his presence so intensely, perhaps you convinced yourself the rest of the world did as well just so you wouldn't feel so pathetic by the fact that you couldn't ignore him. And in the attempt to make your life easier and 'problem-free' by neglecting your feelings, it backfired by raising the complicity lever of your desires.

"What can I do for you, Princess?" he didn’t bother to turn around perhaps you’d go quickly so he didn’t have to train his self-control, not again.

If you were in a different mood, you would've rolled your eyes at the little nickname you despised so much, he gave it to you not only to point out that your economical status was clearly higher than his, but also to remind the 10-month-old age gap between you and your brother, a small amount of time that doomed your life to always be put under him, to your family, he was going to grow to be a King, the one who was gonna inherit every important part of their heritage, and you were stuck to be only that, a Princess.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't put your ass back in jail?" You fumed, irritation blurring out your judgment.

"Because legally, I did nothing wrong, and even if I did, you have no proof of it," he grinned.

"Then explain to me what the hell is wrong with you?!” you spun him by his shoulder, “You really thought you could just casually shame my brother by cutting his hair and I wouldn't come here to defend him?!"

"You mean the same hair that made him think he could be a bully?" he remained calm.

"You know damn well I never agreed with that," you spat, "Do I need to remind you he was suspended for a week because I went to the principal? And regardless of that, you wanna complain about him making others feel less with violence while you do the same?" you scoffed, "Wow," you stated with sarcasm.

"It's hair, it'll grow back,"

"You humiliated him! You made him nothing! Not to mention you used a barber's blade, idiot, did you think about how fucking dangerous that was? You could've seriously injured him if he made the wrong move!"

"I warned him, good thing he knows how to listen, he’s not as stupid as he looks," he taunted you more.

You shook your head, "You're gonna listen to me Keene, and you're gonna listen to me very carefully," you got close to him, "If you even so much as breathe in his direction before the tournament, I will end you,"

He chuckled, "Is that supposed to be a threat?"

"No, only cowards like you and your minions make threats, mine is a promise,"

"I'm not a coward," he clenched his jaw holding back the increasing anger.

You laughed, and somehow said more than words could.

"Says the one who came here when it was all alone knowing that if it wasn't, you would've gotten your ass beaten,"

"By who? Your little friend who's on probation?” you tilted your head with an arrogant smirk, “No, you see, I came here at this time because I'm smart, I mean let's be honest, you've never done anything to hurt me and you never will, because… well," you raised your shoulders feeding the fire in his eyes.

"So what? Do you want me to hurt you to prove that I'm not?" he towered over you.

You nodded, "Yes," you took another step towards him, "But then again, you don't want me to win, do you? Because if you hurt me, then that means you care about what I think,” your voice got slower, “and what would that say about you? True winners don't have to prove anything to anyone but themselves, that's the difference between all of you and me," you separated from him slightly, "But go ahead, make my day and land the first punch,"

He froze in his place processing your words and just barely he noticed he missed your closeness, he couldn't bring himself to do so, pushing down the consuming rage that, later on, would show up stronger when Silver and Kreese find out about this encounter.

"That's what I thought," you scrunched your nose, "You karate nerds are so stupid, who needs to get physical when you have words?" you told more to yourself, and right when you were about to make, what you considered, a triumphal exit, your arm got yanked, your chest hit him, and your faces were less than an inch away, "What are you doing?" you whispered.

The vulnerability of your words and the fragility of your look melted him, for a split second he lost track of his purpose, but it wasn't until he remembered your words that he snapped out of the trance, "Hurting you," he whispered back before placing your lips on his.

It didn't take long for his action to hitch your respiration, stun your nerves, fill your veins with adrenaline, whisk your logic, and for you to correspond. It was embarrassingly quick if to be completely honest, but it didn't matter, frankly, you were so unashamed of it that your hands slipped behind his neck pushing the two of you impossibly closer. It was hungry, desperate, and frantic; you finally understood Adam and Eve no matter how much you hated religion, finally comprehended the temptation of the forbidden fruit, sweet, delicious, and addictive.

Instinctively, he gently pushed you against the nearest wall and you felt his fingers getting lost in your hair, "I don't need to use a lot of strength to hurt you," he pulled you away trying to recover his breath, "I'm gonna hurt your pride by making you moan my name,"

"Easy there, snake boy," you managed to gasp out as you trailed your fingertips fastidiously along his jawline whilst slightly lifting his chin, "What makes you think you won't moan mine," you weren't ready to let your guard down, not yet, you then switched positions holding his shoulders against the cement. In an act of pure selfishness, you softly cupped his face somewhat catching him off guard, his nose brushed yours as your top lip created contact that was so minimal it could almost be imperceptible, "Nice try, Keene, but unfortunately for you, I don't fuck losers," you mumbled, although you could've said it in a more impactful tone, you knew, you knew that the intimacy of it all would make your words burn into the very depths of his soul.

You walked out of the Dojo quite easily with him as perplexed as a Marmol statue, the catch was having to drive around the city to cool off your system and release the tension of it all. However, it didn't work, not even a little bit, not even at all, your mind played every different scenario of the continuation of your reckless actions, it was your fault, and you had to accept it, you went to face him knowing damn well how you felt for him, you went knowing damn well he wouldn't just back down easily, knowing he would've put up a fight one way or another, you knew deep inside you, you knew this could happen, you wanted it to happen.

It was inevitable, your brother was just the perfect excuse and you used it, you took advantage of it, you abused it even, he begged you not to do anything and you didn't care enough to listen, you just had to see him, you had to confront him after almost a year of holding back.

You met him while he was still working for the LaRussos, Daniel and your mom had known each other since college, so whenever they began a conversation, no one could stop them or be part of it; on that occasion, you two were invited for dinner, you brother naturally skipped it, but you were forced to go. You couldn't really complain, Sam was nice company at times, and you would mostly gossip about school or complain about teachers, nothing too deep; however, it even amazed you how rapidly you connected with Robby. Was your entire conversation from that night centered on making fun of the adults? Yeah, but you couldn't stop cackling the entire time. After that, whenever you saw each other you two resumed that same chemistry, constantly coming up with inside jokes or witty comments regarding your family, friends, possible love interests, etc. It then patiently evolved into a solid friendship by revealing heavy details of both of your lives; other types of sentiments involved or not, there was a time when all you had was each other.

But the school fight changed everything, Hawk had a personal vendetta against the person who put one of his best friends in a coma, and you... you were scared, not furious, not bitter, just terrified. Of him, your brother and his friends, Sam, everyone that had to go through the aftermath of it all; you burned all of those bridges, gasoline and everything, changed schools in a different part of town, shut down that part of your life. You couldn't afford to give your family another reason to put you under.

"Y/N, could you stop procrastinating and do something productive?” your mother interrupted your thinkings, “I gotta take this call, take care of them for a minute," she pointed at the waiters.

"Oh, yeah, sure, I- I'll watch them," you answered.

She stepped away.

You huffed scanning the restaurant your family proudly called theirs, it was a second home, warm, comfy, filled with known people, and although you couldn’t make sense of it, you’d always perceived the hazy calmness through the chaos.

There was something hardly recognizable besides the door, at first glance your eyes overlooked it, but as you double-checked your body tensed and your eyes widened so much you were sure they were gonna pop out, he was here.

The last time he showed up at the business was the night before the incident, your parents had conveniently gone to a business dinner and your brother had no intentions on getting out of the house with his hangover, and like every other time he'd been there, you two would steal food from the kitchen, go up to the rooftop and talk about nothing and everything.

Flashback

"And now Mr. LaRusso doesn't wanna have anything to do with me," his voice weakened.

"Oh my god, Robby," you wasted no time in hugging him tightly, "I'm sorry,"

He nuzzled in the crook of your neck sparking something in your gut, you never failed to react to the crumbs of intimacy you always had. His eyes began to water, tears falling into your shirt.

"It's okay, it's okay," you comforted him, both of your torsos gently swinging.

"It hurts so much," he sniffled, "Why does it hurt so much?" it might've sounded a little too melodramatic, perhaps absurd, but he wasn't afraid to be like that, vulnerable, not with you, you never gave him a reason to be.

You pursed your lips, your throat was dry, you were speechless although you'd never been the quiet type, and all you could do was hold him even tighter, a subtle yet relevant symbolism that reminded you that was the closest you could get.

"Why does everyone always leave?" he let the question settle into the breeze although it felt more personal.

It broke you to see him like this, no pain you've ever felt was comparable to seeing he whom you love miserable, there was nothing else you could do but be there, though you didn't think it was nearly as enough as what he needed, "I- I don't know," you couldn't tell if you were lucky to have never experienced such experience, or misfortunate to not have said wisdom to heal him. You cautiously cupped his face, as if one of your movements could hurt him more, he was like stained glass, complicated, fractured, fragile, and yet, his cracks and colors made him the most beautiful soul you’ve ever met "I won't leave you," you ran your thumbs through his cheeks, drying the small showings of his pain.

"You promise?"

"I promise,"

End of flashback

You tried not to draw too much attention to yourself while jogging towards the entrance, "What the hell are you doing here?" you blurted out.

"I wanna talk to you," he seemed happy, probably because of how fearful you, on the other hand, were.

"You- you can't be here right now, I'm not messin' around," you shook your head, you had to react as discreetly as possible.

"Why? Your brother isn't here,"

"It's not just my brother, okay? My family will kill you on sight, please, listen to me," you grabbed his shoulders, "We can't talk, not here,"

"Where then?"

"I-" you looked around making sure your mom was still in her office, "Do we really have to do this right now?" you insisted.

"Yes," he stated firmly.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, "Okay, come on," you pulled his hand with a strength that wasn't necessary.

You entered the tiny meetings room on the other side of the establishment, because of your dad's usual tantrums, it didn't have a camera and it was sound-proofed; you made sure to lock the door and turn off the light so it wouldn't be visible from the bottom of the wood.

"Okay, make it quick, I need to get back to my mom," your words were rushed and stumbling with each other.

"You truly are terrified of your parents aren't you?" he crossed his arms.

"I don't have time for this Robby-"

"Thought I was 'Keene',"

You only began to call him that after in consequence of the Karate outrage, his first name felt too personal, too close.

You shut your eyes in frustration, "Can you stop being an ass for a second and get to the point of whatever it is that you wanna talk about?"

"Why are you so nervous about me being here?" he continued to tease, truth is, he wasn't sure what he was doing there in the first place, all he knew was that here he was, with you.

"It doesn't matter, just- start talking," you pressured.

"Why are you so nervous about me being here?" he repeated.

Your fingers twitched, a manner you developed out of stress, "Because if they see me with you, I'll never hear the end of it, okay?" you fidgeted then with your jewelry.

"If you never wanna be caught in a lie I suggest you stop doing the ring thing," he pointed out, "It makes it easy to tell,"

You halted the action and then shrugged.

"Why are you so nervous about me being here?"

"Because they already filed a restraining order against you, I guess you didn't get it because you're here, but if they call the cops you'll probably end up in juvie and I don't want- If you ever wanna go back to school or get a job is gonna be incredibly difficult,"

He assumed at first you didn't wanna be seen with him because of how much you cared about the reputation of your new life, a valid perspective given how much you made an effort to conceal it all, but hearing you enlightened him, sore him "Don't look at me like that," a small part of his grudge came out.

"Like what?"

"Like you still care about me,"

A choked laugh resounded from your part, "First of all, I'm not apologizing for that, and second-"

"You should," his demeanor abruptly became more defensive.

You tilted your head, "Why?" your energy matched his.

"Because you don't care about me, and acting like you do is very hypocritical of you,"

"When have I ever told you that I don't care about you?" you frowned.

"You don't have to say it, you already proved it,"

"How so?"

"Don't play the innocent part now," he was close to losing his cool, "You try so hard to hide everything that happened but at even the slightest inconvenience, you go right back where you started, tell me, do your mommy and daddy know you went to see me two days ago? Huh? Or let me guess, you were too scared to tell them?"

"Oh, fuck off Keene, is that all you got? Is that the only thing that you think will affect me? My parents? My reputation?"

"Yes! Because that's the only thing you care about! You're nothing but a self-centered spoiled brat that doesn't know any better than to run away from her problems! You wanna know who the real coward is here? You are! Some of us don't have the privilege of a new start! Keep pretending all you want, but don't forget, I was your friend and you turned your back on me, I wasted my one phone call on you because you were the only person I had, and you hung up on me like I was nothing! Tell me, how am I supposed to be the coward if I'm the one who got hurt because of your selfishness?! You don't care about anyone but yourself!" as much as he attempted to divert the subject of the conversation, his eyes sabotaged him, quickly covering his face in a salty heartbreaking liquid. "You... you weren't there-"

You were both stunned by his reaction, you'd think that with everything he's been put through, he wouldn’t snap so easily, so passionately, so emotionally, but no, all of this was a new part of himself that only you made him feel, he’d only allowed you to do so.

"I needed you! I needed you! And you weren't there! And- and then the first time you say anything to me after I got out-"

If there's something he had while being in juvie was time, precious time he'd spent weaving, machinating; about you, about his dad, about the LaRusso's, about Miguel, about him. Strategizing his next encounter with the world was arduous, but the action of going through with it was the true challenge, and he realized how useless all that time truly was when he heard your voice the first time, suddenly all of it was gone, the effort, the time, the sleepless nights, the daydreaming noons, all of it, turned into nothing, you turned them into nothing.

"I was happy," he exhaled like freeing himself of chains and shackles, "I was so happy, and I enjoyed seeing you mad so fucking much, seeing you in general," he laughed, "I tried to-" he choked on his words, "I tried to hate you so much because you bailed on me but I can't," every inch him began to feel... lighter, "I can't hate you," he sighed, "I- I just can’t,”

Your body didn’t allow you to move, roughly grounding you, vines of regret holding you hostage against soothing him, stopping him, following him outside, responding coherently to your family’s screams, to forget. You’d lost count of how many days you’d feel as you were still glued to the wooden floor, completely stuck, dried-out blossoms of hope from your heart, rageful deep thorns clinging to your debilitated frame, daunting poison sinking your head.

—How many times?—

How many times would you have to come up with every pretentious and overly-thought narrative to justify everything? You’ve been silenced by your reluctance, aghast by your idealization, confined by your denial, triggered by tension, frozen by your guilt, and finally steered by resentment.

You stared at the faint reflection from the glass, you wanted to immortalize the picture, hair slightly out of place, tugged at clothes, blood burst out of the skin, purple underneath the large organ, nostrils flowing with the lack of air, mouth agape.

—Why?—

You prepared yourself for the question before anyone else asked it.

—Why was protecting Robby’s honor against someone as irrelevant as Natalie Dalmasos worth it?—

You noticed your knuckles finally matching your brother’s.

—He’s never even met her—

Your stomach sunk as if releasing all the ire and digesting it as dread.

—Was it worth it?—

Hammering head.

—Did she deserve it?—

Striking heart.

—You screwed up everything you built—

Trembling legs.

—What did you do?—

Numbed face.

—Why destroy it?—

Streaking neck.

—Why him?—

Overwhelmed.

Then reality came back.

—Shit—

You reached for your phone, quickly texting your mother the first perfectly constructed lie you could think of, you had to disappear at least for tonight, eventually relieved by her believing your sleepover story, you started the car.

—Where else would you go?—

You blankly saw the infamous logo, the white clearness hiding the inside, you took a shaky breath and struggled to get yourself inside the walls, you didn’t have to make yourself known by words, the heavy door did all the work filling it with creaks against the floor for it being poorly moved.

You saw him cautiously walk out of the dark.

“Robby,” you let out a soft smile.

He frowned as you gradually got nearer.

“I- I um-” you gulped, “I just got into a fight, the party- I-,” there was now a lightbulb over your head.

He rushed, “Y/N, holy shit,”

“I- I’m fine, I swear,” you chuckled.

“Fine?! You look like shit!”

“You should see the other guy,” you joked

He shrugged, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that, I’m just-,”

“Shocked?” you interrupted him, “Surprised? Amazed? Astonished? Stunned? fucking… every other synonym there is?”

He nodded still scanning your body, “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up,” he placed one of your arms on his shoulder to then swiftly carry you bridal style to his mattress. You tilted your head observing the side of his jaw.

“I never noticed you had a scar there,” you whispered.

“One of many of my mom’s bad boyfriends,”

“I’m sorry,” you delicately traced it.

He smiled, “It’s okay,”

You were laid down rather dramatically, or so you thought by the way he treated you like you were made out of paper, you just rolled your eyes and sat up while he went to get the first aid kit.

“This is gonna hurt,” he wet the cotton.

You scoffed, “Relax Robby, I’m a big girl, this isn’t my first drill,”

“Right,” he nodded.

You lowly hissed when the chemical made contact.

“Thought this wasn’t your first drill,” he teased.

“Okay, just because I’ve been hurt before doesn’t mean it’s not painful,” you both laughed, “I can still handle it,”

The rest of the cleaning went somewhat silent, just a few mumbled sorries were thrown around, but by the time he had pulled out the bandages, you grew impatient.

“You’re not gonna ask?” you broke the ice.

“Not really,” he admitted.

“Why?”

“Because,” he raised his shoulders, “It’s too late to go and make ‘em pay for it,”

“Oh god, please don’t, I already did that,”

“What do you mean?” he began to wrap your hand.

“I’m the one who started the fight because they were talking shit,”

“What kind of shit?”

“All kinds, throwing rumors and just- bullshit,”

“About who?”

You licked your lips.

—Really? Now you go silent? You’re already here, fuck it—

“About you,”

“What?” he tightened the cloth too much.

“Ow,”

“Sorry, sorry,” he let go.

“Yeah,” you confessed, “They were talking shit about you and I shut them up,”

“Who?” he was still confused.

“Some girl from my school who thinks she’s fucking… Regina George or somethin’, she’s just a bitch,” you shook your head.

“Why?”

—Why?—

You grabbed his face, and gave him the most mellow and honeyed eyes you’ve ever had, “You haven’t figured that one out yet, have you?” you joined your foreheads as you closed your eyes, “You’re not the smart one out of us anyway,” you heard him giggle.

He brushed his nose with yours, shyly getting closer.

—Are you sure?—

—Yeah—

—Fuck it—

You kissed him for the first time, but held on to it like it was the last, how was it that you could say everything with just that? The most disarming and humble expression there is; the touch of two epidermises, and the completion of dual fantasies. You almost blubber in it, oh sacchariferous little poison of yours, worth every penny, every dime, every tear, every scream, and every dream.

He paused, taking a deep breath, yet never breaking contact.

You sobbed, “I love you,” you dried his cheeks.

“I love you too,” he whimpered.

#robby keene angst #robby keene x reader #robby keene x y/n #robby keene #robby keene x moskowitz! reader #cobra kai imagine #cobra kai #robby keene imagine #robby keene fluff #cobra kai season 5 #cobra kai season 4

327 notes · View notes

thegeminisage · 3 months

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oh boy it IS. tng update time. tonight, just under an hour ago, we finished watching "chain of command" parts i & ii. i'm not differentiating between them even though one had. WWWWAY more nudity than the other. hey did you guys know tng can occasionally pop the FUCK off

to me this episode felt like a backdoor pilot to ds9 which we will be doing tomorrow because it had cardassians in it and basically the only thing i know about ds9 is that gay cardassian that wants to fuck the doctor. and he's like the definition of the predatory gays/predatory gaze joke from what i have seen from gifs. so i was expecting like, some minor cardassian shenanigans and mild flirtiness

holy shit.

like girl when i tell you my tits got blown clean off

normally i complain there's too much downtime and technobabble in tng. there was not an OUNCE of fat on this episode. from start to finish we went at 500mph

like, we open with the guy taking away picard's command. and you're like oh no a demotion! but then it's COVERT OPS and also a suicide mission???

and the guy who takes over is a war-mongering bastard with a dubya accent idk how they predicted that in 1992 but GREAT job. i really loved to hate him, and one of my only nitpicks with this episode is that he didn't get more of what should have been coming to him

we acted this episode. will riker grinding his teeth every time he spoke to this guy. deanna's worried looks. beverly feeling guilty for leaving picard behind. i was actually complaining about patrick stewart not emoting when she was stuck in that little hole but now i understand. he had to save it for the FUCKING payload

ROLE REVERSAL FOR THE WOMEN. deanna got to wear a real uniform and beverly got to flirt her way out of a Situation. i love deanna's uniform, even if it is too tight around the chest. i think that's preferable to it being too tight around her crotch and leading to the horrific c*melt*e situation (sorry to say it like that). her hair also looked great this ep. so did bev's weirdly??? women's rights.

data didn't have much to do in this episode except accidentally give geordi more work which made me sad but it WAS wild to see him in a red shirt. i'll miss him until it's time to watch tng again

the little infiltration was charming. worf and beverly teasing each other about heights and bats. even the cave-in. picard getting left behind because worf tried to hold the door open like that guy in narnia and got SHOT.

i loved the guy who was doing the peace talks. he had the most unsettling horrific smile i've ever seen in my life. STAN a legend.

truly though even though i enjoyed the first half of the episode and thought it was solidly watchable the second half is what elevated it into mind blowing territory.

and like first of all it must be said: picard buck ass naked. computer show me image

i want you to imagine that you are 1. profoundly sleep deprived 2. have been complaining about the lack of sex in this show for six and a half seasons 3. do not find this man remotely physically attractive 4. AND the only thing you know about cardassians is gifsets of the guy from ds9 wanting to fuck the little doctor guy 5. you are PROFOUNDLY sleep deprived. only then can you imagine a fraction of the depths of my hysteria

i actually laughed so shrilly and loudly discord MUTED me cathy was like youve been silent for like 30 seconds are you still THERE. i laughed so hard i quite literally cried. we had to pause it for ten entire minutes. not even because it was funny i was just like. SHOCKED.

THEY REALLY WENT ALL IN ON THIS. it was like something out of a fanfic. a BAD fanfic. like those whump fics where guys get captured and made into sex slaves. EXCEPT PATRICK STEWART WAS ACTING!!!!! like it got SO SERIOUS so QUICK

i just now skimmed an article that said patrick stewart himself did research on torture and also went all in ie filming nude fr. the dedication came through in the work i wish tng could be like this always

bro like. the part where he could have walked out but thought bev was still captive. the part where he was was like YOU'RE SIX YEARS OLD AND YOU CAN'T HURT ME. when he got the torturer to call him by his real name. when he ate the live worms or whatever they were i couldn't look. when they got to talking about that guy's daughter. like we literally got the best of both worlds. picard reverse uno'd him at every turn and kept his wits about him and then in the end he BROKE ANYWAY

THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS, BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!

i was like. oh my god.

listen to me when he said it i was a little disappointed. i could see in his face given another 30 seconds he would have said five. i said OUT LOUD to catherine they should have showed us a shot of five lights and then had him say four anyway. but him saying four defiantly was still so so so good

BUT THEN. AT THE END. when he was like. deanna. i said four, but i saw five

THAT'S THE THESIS STATEMENT OF THE EPISODE. THAT TORTURE DOESNT GIVE YOU INFORMATION JUST WHAT THE TORTURER WANTS YOU TO SAY

AND THEN THEY JUST ROLLED CREDITS.

AND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's so wonderful-awful that that guy KNEW picard was getting release and STILL he felt the need to finish the conditioning, which i assume was meant to get picard to fake-confess to killing 55 men women and children like that one guy said. like, he didn't have time to record that confession. he JUST wanted to break him, and that was all. i bet he thinks about it all the fucking time. the one that got away.

again, i wish dubya knockoff hadn't been responsible for his release. i REALLY wanted riker to do a mutiny. but there just wasn't time. i am still glad riker got to give him shit but like we deserved more comeuppance truly bc he SUCKED SO BAD. also like lmaoooo at ANYONE saying starfleet is a science peaceful organization now. they're warmongers! they're no different from mirrorverse not really

aside from that though it was absolutely flawless. one of the best tng episodes possibly THE best tng episode. i feel so completely satisfied and also grateful that we will be watching ds9 next because going from this to another fucking barclay episode (the next tng one) would ruin me. i need TIME!!!

TOMORROW: ds9's "emissary," parts 1 & 2 !!!

we're going in release order, so now our watch schedule will look something like...

two at a time. that's gonna mess us up for "birthright" but we'll cope somehow

#personal #star trek blogging #tng lb #i'm so happy. it was so so so so so good why can't tng always be like this. sparks FUCKING flying

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vintage-bentley · 9 months

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S2 Beelzebub is yassified to hell, but at least in the first episodes of S2 she had some gross stuff on her face. Why it magically disappeared later? Also did Neil said why they changed the actress ? None of the other Angels and Demons were recast right? And she's the only character who also got a personality transplant .

I was happy that she got to be gross for at least a couple scenes! But she still felt weirdly yassified even in those scenes. Last season I found it hard to look at her (complimentary) in her Hell scenes. This season I was fine. So idk. It feels like they placed a patch of gross stuff on her face and teeth just because they had to, whereas in season 1 they went all out.

The only reason the actress was changed was because the original wasn’t available. I think she had scheduling conflicts, which is unfortunate!

“Personality transplant” 😂 that’s exactly what it was lmao. Even her mannerisms changed! I noticed the new actress did a lot of “mouth acting”, adding a quirk where she raised one side of her mouth

Which is a good idea! I like when characters have some sort of small movement that’s unique to them. And I’d have really praised this acting choice if it was done with a new character.

But it was done with Beelzebub…who in season 1 did not have this quirk. She pretty much had a permanent frown.

Looking at the first set of gifs then looking at these…it’s like I’m looking at two different characters. And you can’t use the excuse of new face = new mannerisms, because the body swap with Aziraphale and Crowley (when they weren’t acting like each other) showed that their mannerisms were still there.

Anyway, my point is that it’s been over a month and I’m still disappointed with how Beelzebub was handled. She could’ve at least had the same personality and mannerisms lol

#asks #anon

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viscountessevie · 2 years

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I was turned off from the hype of Brigerton early on (idk I wasn't feeling it) but I've been seeing gif sets of Kate and Anthony and I'm kind of obsessed. Would I need to watch season 1 for me to get it or can i skip right into season 2 for the kathony canon content?

Ohmygod hello! I'm so flattered you regard my opinion highly enough to ask me about this! Honestly you're so valid and I'm SO happy that Kathony is drawing in people who were never interested in Bridgerton before S2 dropped. More under the cut because as always this got LONG:

Okay so this is tricky and really depends what you're into as a romance fan? S1 is about Simon and Daphne and they are a fake dating trope which was really fun and wholesome to watch! S2 is of course Kate and Anthony and they are PEAK Enemies to Lovers and are very HOT. While the romances each season are stand alone - S1 does have a storyline for Anthony which acts as a prequel for his story in S2 I'll talk more about later in this post.

Honestly as much as I adore Kathony but their season was all over the place as a cohesive story - at times it felt like I was watching two different shows because there was an annoying plotline that didn't connect to the main story and romance AT ALL. (Honestly I always skip their scenes on my rewatch feel free to do the same).

It was shit as an adaptation which is why I'm currently an S2 hater like I love the Kathony of it all but the rest of the season can get fucked - and its mainly because I'm a huge fan of their book. So I would recommend just watching S2 and then reading their book for more of their scenes together - for all her flaws Julia Quinn really FED US with the Kathony content. Also Kate's family is featured more and they are so wholesome! Kate even gets a fully fleshed out backstory (minor spoiler but we were robbed of that in the show) My friend did that and she said the book after watching S2 first felt like a comfort cos you got more scenes. Whereas a book reader, we felt robbed of a lot of pivotal book scenes.

If you have the time and are up for it, I would definitely recommend watching S1 because it was a solid adaptation of Book 1 and Anthony's arc in it is so compelling - yes he was a dick and everyone thought he was annoying af (not me though I've always loved my hot mentally ill eldest sibling clown) but really it's a shield to protect himself from his past trauma - no spoilers but it gets covered in S2! So to see his development from S1 to S2 is very satisfying if you want the whole picture.

Simon and Daphne are cute until their main conflict which was pretty fucked up and going to try to keep it vague but spoilers for S1EP6 at timestamps 47:15 to 49:40 there's a sex scene that turns into an assault at 48:50 and it just soured the rest of the series for me because the perpetrator never atones for their actions. If that's a trigger for you I would suggest just skip that scene all together and come up with a conflict of your own for the couple lmao.

Other than the SA, it was a pretty solid first season, a good introduction to the main family and characters and a cohesive story, the side plots actually worked and the main characters were actually connected to most of them so it didn't feel as disconnected.

Storytelling aspect aside, I will say Kathony is the superior couple just because Simone Ashley and Jonathan Bailey have INSANE CHEMISTRY and that's what you're seeing in the gifs so I'm not surprised you're hooked! And honestly ignoring the issues I had with the season itself, all their scenes are HOT and amazing and I love these two fucked up clowns in love so much.

Do let me know if you end up watching it and what you think of the show! Honestly if you would just prefer reading, then I recommend just reading the books only (Kathony's book is Book 2 named The Viscount Who Loved Me) I wouldn't bother with the show (it's slowly becoming my new PJO movies/ATLA live action)

#Bridgerton #kathony #kate sharma #anthony bridgerton #Bridgerton S1 #Bridgerton S2 #Bridgerton Asks

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deanwasalwaysbi · 3 years

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I've gotta say, I find the concept of Bedlund trying to Ben-Hur Jensen absolutely hysterical. I'm just imagining Jensen getting a script and being like "Ben?? What's this? Is this gay? This seems gay????" and Ben just soothing him like a frightened horse.

Hahaha - Look it wouldn't be the first time. What is this verb we're working with? Okay. Strap in everyone. The Multi-Oscar-winning 1959 movie 'Ben Hur' had a bunch of gay subtext. The writer, the director, and the second lead actor all knew that Charlton Heston's character, Ben Hur, was gay. However, one person didn't find out until the 1990s: Charlton Heston. The consensus on set was "Don’t tell Charlton, because he’ll freak out." and when Heston found out in the ninties, freak out was exactly what he did. (x) [the movie may have gotten a reference from Misha back in season 6 (x)]

Whether this happened with Jensen on SPN depends on two things.

Was the character of Dean intentionally written as Bi and, if so, at what point did that become true?

Did anyone tell Jensen? Did he figure it out? if so, when?

I personally DO believe at this point, I really do, that Bedlund - Ben Hur'd Jensen. I think it was part of the writers room but not all of it, until it was. (Which RN I believe finally happened under Dabb.) I think Jensen wasn't in on it, until he was. So for me? I think he really was in the dark at one point. But at what point that changed? Probably only he can answer that question. and RN? He ain't talking.

In the meantime we can only look at things Jensen has said on the subject - Like this unbearably ambiguous GIF set from @nikadd. Was this tongue in cheek? Legitimate ignorance? You're killing me, Jensen. That cheeky lil smile, Jensen. Nvm - I'm going to kill you instead. It's for my own survival. No hard feelings right? You understand.

UH OH HERE COMES A CUT TO HIDE A LONG DERANGED POST...

We can look at the text for number 1 - and I do that uh - a lot - see the blog name #Dean Was Always Bi

For number 2 we can look over some points when we got clues from what Jensen thought was going on [regardless of whether they make sense based on his jacting or directorial choices I guess] and get left wondering whether at any point he felt pressured to lie for his career, for self protection, or to protect the narrative from the network:

2010 - 'We're missing the gay angel' (x) (Season 5 gag reel) (x) “Sorry man, not what the show’s about.” Jared: One of the good and bads about playing the straight [non-comedic] character on the show… Jensen: What wait? I’ve been playing him so wrong

2012 / S8 - Trenchcoat - Jensen talking about how sometimes they change the lines because they're way too gay. Calls Cas a third brother

2012 - "What's Destiel?" Ben Edlund: That’s some weird shit. Jensen: Is this something that you created, Ben? Ben: You don’t want any part of that.

“Don’t ruin it for everyone now” “I still don’t know what the question was. I’m going to pretend I don’t know what the question was.”

2013 @ JIB, re Dean’s reaction to Aaron’s flirting in the season 8 episode Everybody Hates Hitler, (x)

“And the scene wasn’t written to be that kind of - I mean - It was written to be awkward. Ben Edlund wrote the - my favorite line in that scene was ‘carry on . citizen’ that was - I almost couldn’t say that with a straight face I was laughing so hard. But it was - you know - it was comedy. It was a comedic moment in the show and fortunately Dean gets a lot of the comedic moments in the show and it was just, you know, Ben was poking fun at the fact that - you know, how can we make this very kind of manly, heterosexual guy uncomfortable - uh -you know, or or have him back on his heels and throw him off his game a little bit.”

The thing is - Bedlund and Phil Sgriccia made very clear on the commentary track that THEY saw this scene as a 'romantic comedy kind of fluster' "This potential for love in all places."

Ben Edlund calling the writer’s room a boy’s club in 2013 (x)

Misha Collins telling Destiel fans they aren’t Crazy in 2013 after some executives said they were (x).

2014 Jensen says he was glad there wasn’t much Dean and Cas in season 9 - HA Hah HAH (x)

“I think the whole Cas and Dean thing has gotten out of hand” “I don’t think there’s anything secret to their relationship even though a lot of people wish there was” REMINDER - that season we got the nightstands acknowledgement and “play him like a jilted lover” and the “he dumped me James” cut and -

I certainly know that Misha and I don’t play that. SIGH. they Ben Hur'd Jensen.

2014 - the fan fiction joke - 10.05

“I didn’t have a positive reaction, The first time in I think 200 scripts I went and sat down in the showrunners office and said, ‘What in god’s name are you doing?! Why? I need to understand why this is happening.’” “[Carver] gave very eloquent answers and did a great job of explaining why we were doing what we were doing, I guess I had been aware of this ‘fan fiction’ for a while and I felt like maybe if I ignored it, it would eventually go away. When I read it in the script that is what I do for a living and is my work—I’m very protective of these characters and the story and I think we have a right to be—I wasn’t angry. I just wanted to understand why and what was the message we were ultimately sending with this script and story. By the end of it, I felt good and it gave me all the confidence I needed. It was better than I could have ever hoped.”

But then there's Jensen in 2015 talking about all of Dean’s bromances. (x) [gifs at the top] Could go either way - starting to figure it out? or No?

What had changed if anything? the entire Crowely season 10 story line? This was July 2015 - the same day as the SDCC 2015 panel where Misha talked about Destiel (x @ 13) Carver and Dabb were there -

By this time Jensen and Misha were nominated for a teen choice award for best chemistry against various tv couples (and one ensemble cast, but the award nomination did NOT include Jared) .... Misha and Jensen would go on to WIN this award one month after the panel.

At the Panel Rob and Rich ask the question: “You two have branded yourselves as TV’s greatest team since, ... idk who.... Ernie and Bert so.” [Misha says to Jensen & Jared, half not on the microphone: “I really didn’t expect them to throw us under the bus.”] “are we going to see that continue? Is the Castiel Dean relationship still aflutter and still growing as we move into season 11?” Jeremy Carver: “Ish.” [mocking from panel ensues] “Yes. Of course. I mean Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. There’s no doubt.”

Jensen Directs 11x03 and the choreo mimics Goodbye stranger (x)

2016 - Jensen: Dean could have a huntress, but you’d kill her.

Jan 2017 Con the infamous - no hedge - harsh - “Destiel doesn’t exist.” (x)

I would hope that if he knew he wouldn’t have been so harsh with it. So by that point either he still didn’t know - OR - to him ‘Destiel’ was specifically about internet porn/sex and not like - the potential for feelings / a relationship. It makes me think about something Misha had actually said, around 2013, “It’s called ‘Destiel’ and it’s about the romantic interludes between Dean and Castiel.” (x)

2017 - jib8 Jensen called Dean a lover of the ladies

May 2017 - After filming the end of season 12:

2018 - Misha confirms he and Jensen have talked about Destiel (x) - also 2018: The Bisexual Dean essay "? No." (Oh god was this really this recent?! I can't deal with this.)

Well. SOMETHING happened in 2019. cuz here it comes

2019 - "Dean has no taste, clearly." 2019 - 'So, tell us just a little bit about what you're most excited to tackle with your character this final season.' "Cas. Just like a full football form tackle."

Look at this face he gave Dean when Cas told him he loved him and tell me he wasn't playing into it here. You can't. (x)

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matan4il · 3 years

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Hey, its me again. Do you have any analysis/meta regarding s3x01, specifically about the party where buck cough up blood.

Hi Nonnie! And thank you so much for feeling comfortable enough to send me another ask! ^u^ That makes me so happy!

So, I had a look through my older meta posts and the closest thing I have to that is this bit of meta (which I have not yet shared on Tumblr 'coz no gifs yet), which isn't directly about the party, though it does mention it and how scared Eddie must have been to see Buck almost dying right in front of his eyes for the second time in so many months. I didn't elaborate on that, but I guess a part of why I didn't is I already felt my condensed meta for seasons 1 through 3A was getting a bit much. In hindsight, I think I probably could have written so much more. IDK if you'd like to hear more about it. I'll throw a few words out there and do let me know if it's good or if you'd like more?

So I freaking loved that party! Buck was so happy and that boy deserves joyful moments. And then Eddie comes out to hug him like it's so clear that it would be him first before anyone else out of the firefam, even though Hen and Chim have known Buck for longer, even though Maddie is there and she's his actual family, even though Bobby is there and he outranks anyone else in the team plus he's the one that the guy who injured Buck was going after plus he's kind of Buck's father figure plus it's his freaking house that the party is being held at, yet not only is Bobby not looking to be the first one to hug Buck, he actually pushes Eddie in first. It's almost like an unspoken acknowledgment that Buddie are each other's significant other.

And then the hug itself. I just love it, they're both grinning so wide and throw themselves into it, but even after it's over, Eddie doesn't let go of Buck's hip, and the way he holds him there, that hand that just lingers in that intimate spot... kjashdfsjfhs It gets to me. I love all of their hugs, but I think that's what gives this hug a slight edge over the other two.

I have to also mention Chris, that sweet card he made for Buck and how important that moment is, since it's the first time that we sort of see that the connection between him and Buck might have been formed through Eddie, but they have their connection, too. Chris could have just come along and attended the party, like the kids of Buck's other teammates, but nope. Chris made him something extra, something he didn't have to make or was expected to and which expresses the affection he has for Buck. I love it! And that this moment happens within the context of the 118 as a chosen family celebrating together makes me feel even more that it's a moment when the show is subtly telling us - these three are a chosen family as well.

Lastly, I'm gonna finish with what I started... Eddie saw Buck almost dying. We know he did. Not just because he was at the party, but because the show took a moment to zone in on him doing a double take when Buck starts coughing up blood. And this happens on the hills of Buck injured by the blast, caught under the firetruck, and the show doing the same thing, giving us a close up on Eddie's reaction. I just think this is very significant to a lot of what they'll go through together, especially in 3A. I have no doubt that Eddie was really scared after almost losing Buck twice. At the same time, it's so meaningful that the party is where we learn that Buck and Ali have indeed broken up because she couldn't handle his risky job after only seeing it jeopardize his life once. Eddie is scared for Buck too, but despite seeing Buck's life in serious danger, more than once, he's still there. Eddie chooses this life, with Buck. He even trusts Buck with his son, and in 414 we learn to what a degree. No one will ever fight for Chris like Buck would and no one will ever love and appreciate Buck like Eddie does. These two are simply right for each other and the party is a big piece of the puzzle that shows us how they do...

I hope this satisfies you, Nonnie! And sorry for the length! xoxox

#buddie #buddie meta #911 meta #911meta #9-1-1 #evan buck buckley #evan buckley #eddie diaz #edmundo diaz #ask #anon ask #still going through my asks slowly #sorry for my pace being so off #yeah i'm still not okay #but we'll get there #911 on abc #911abc #911 abc

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wisdomssdaughterr · 2 years

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You’re right it is kinda uncommon to see that vulnerability in platonic relationships with opposite sex. I feel like if they’re not romantic then the platonic aspect isn’t that great. Like they’ll often times make the boy toxic (which will not happen at all with Steve and it is off limits sooo yesss!!!). Even though they went with Steve being like I have feelings for you I also totally believe that he just hasn’t had many friends so he doesn’t understand what he feels. Also dustin was totally pushing for Steve to like Robin romantically so he totally got confused. Which unpopular opinion: I think Dustin just wanted to be a good wingman/little brother and maybe was also confused. Like I think Dustin and Steve’s way of loving someone romantically is so similar and so Dustin just kind of assumed. I don’t think Dustin was necessarily pushing them together for the sake of being like straight(and shoving it down our/Steve’s throats) or whatever like I think it was just because he wanted Steve to be happy. And he also knows that Steve really doesn’t have any friends outside of the party/monster hunting people so he would have no idea how Steve would act with kids his own age.

The only friends we really saw with Steve was tommy and carol (before the upside down) and they were not great friends to him like at all. There’s this one post of gifs where it shows Steve giving his food to them in the cafe and I keep staring at it. It gives so many dynamics and really shows everything. Like neither tommy or carol say thank you or even look remotely grateful that Steve just gave up his own lunch. They look so disinterested and are only focusing on what they’re talking about. I do not remember if they ever said how long they were friends for but even if it was a common experience you would still think that they would at least nod their heads or something. I do think it was a common occurrence because Steve just holds out his pudding or something and tommy just immediately takes it. Like none of them are worried about Steve eating and especially with the fact that I think tommy and carol both had like good portions of their food meanwhile steve like barely ate anything. AND THEN NANCY IS LOOKING AWAY AT JONATHAN!! Idk why I think that is the most interesting because it really shows how early on Nancy is interested in Jonathan. Even when she is supposed to be with Steve at the beginning of season 1, she just goes back to Jonathan. Anyway after that analysis my conclusion is: Steve did not have friends who genuinely cared about him. Even though Nancy would have also been his friend it was a messy ass thing and she totally resented him about Barb. So there was no way for Steve to understand his feelings and I have a feeling that he also kinda felt happy about the way things went. Like now he has a person who he can talk to without that complicated mess of feelings (like Nancy) and also he would be totally proud of Robin for telling him. I’m not trying to make the coming out scene all about Steve cuz it was totally robins moment. And everyone should know that!!! I feel like both of them in that scene felt so relieved about how things went.

So yeah I think it would be so interesting to see how Steve and robin’s relationship grows. Cuz like also like that one line that stands out the most is ‘I’ve laughed more than I have this summer’ or something. Even before Robin knew: they were having fun (and even if that was in more of a banter way) they still liked each other. Robin def envied him and shit but also like she still was able to be sarcastic and stuff without Steve getting completely offended. It would just be soo cool to see their growth.

Also lol everything feels too long but yeah seeing them being affected by everything makes it so real. Like even though you have that suspense about whether Will is actually the mindflayer now his talk with his mom in season 2 with wanting everything to be over was sooo heartbreaking. And then Joyce’s talk with hopper about all’s wanting everything to be over was so like good and heartbreaking. I also love how in season 2 they dealt with their grieve while also getting into all the action. With Mike: he keeps talking to el on the intercom, acts out and in his ‘rebel’ faze, and just keeps staring at the tent that he had built for el. Nancy: had a whole plotting about her grieve with Barb. Hopper: stayed with el and took care of her because he felt guilty and also just wanted to keep her safe. Jonathan: I don’t think we got much about him but we do see him talking to Nancy and I just kinda forget what he said. Dustin and Lucas: both wanted to talk to max about everything and tell her the secret, and because at first they were stand of ish with el they just immediately excepted her because of their guilt and the fact that they like her. Also they tell el that they spoke about her everyday so clearly there was something. Joyce: can’t go without seeing Will or she’ll freak the fuck out, just talking about how she wants everything to go away. Will: feeling like a freak even with his friends because he had a very different experience to them about it. And Steve which we also don’t get much about him but we know that he wants to pretend like everything is normal and also keeps the bat in his trunk soo. Like there’s so much stuff in season 2 with their grieve and we really don’t get that in season 3. Which is kinda weird because while I feel like they touched on bob’s death it also kinda feels weird. Like they would’ve had to tell Will about it and like I want to see his guilt surrounding that. BUT NO WE HAD TO FOCUS INSTEAD ON BILLY!! I WILL FOREVER BE PISSED ABOUT THAT!! Anyway went on sooo many tangents/rants so like if this takes you a while to get through it’s totally fine.

yeah you’re totally right steve like legit has not had any friends in the show, besides a literal twelve year old, who genuinely cares about him. I feel like nancy did in her own way but she was so weird about their relationship from the start, like she didn’t want anyone to know that they were together? then obviously the stuff with barb wasn’t her fault but that was when their relationship really went off the track and she just couldn’t handle it on top of her grief. so steve having a friend like robin, where there’s no stress of the “does she/he like like me?” juvenile romantic stuff. like they’re just friends and they know each other’s secrets and they can be themselves around each other. it’s sweet! and I hope we see that relationship really play out where they both get to have more of their “bathroom floor” deep talks with one another.

the vibes of season two were just unmatched. like they did pretty well showcasing how everyone was healing in their own ways while still carrying on with the story. I hope we get that feeling back in s4 where they delve more into their traumas and how they are trying to move on but are still stuck in this revolving door of “is the world going to end today? and will we be able to save it again?” like that’s a heavy ass weight to carry at age 12-19 while you’re trying to juggle school, friends, family, relationships, etc.

and don’t even get me started in billy, literally the worst. I really, really, really hope they don’t make max’s story all about him. like I understand that she may feel guilty, and she may have some complicated feelings of grief. but he does not deserve some dead “troubled kid” hero arc and max is the last person who should give him that. I will forever be mad that they gave that whole possession story to billy (tho I’m not mad they killed him off, but rather of how they did it). I think the show would have been so much more intense if someone like Nancy got possessed, someone that would have been heartbreaking to see go through that. we obviously had that with will, but it would have been on a whole other level. and the idea of “you can’t save everyone” would really be like a punch in a gut. but I guess it probably would’ve been too much to kill off two of the main characters in the finale but they did bring Hopper back so I think it still could have worked.

#answered ask #st4

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morkofday · 3 years

Text

thank you once again @yibobibo for tagging me ♥ even if, like I said, this is pure torture. I have so many sons that I’ve given up on counting them sigh but here goes.

favourite male fictional characters.

I took it that this meant ten so am going with that (tho am not gonna try and put them into order). am also sticking to all the characters I loved this year. and gonna ramble and add gifs so cutting it here.

1. Liu Sang

The Lost Tomb Reboot/Reunion: The Sound of The Providence

I have so much love for this boy it’s not even healthy. it’s a bit funny tho bc once I started tltr, I didn’t really like him and almost forgot about him as the first season ended. he just felt so annoying and bitter in what I saw him, even if I did get that he had a Tragic BackstoryTM (I felt for him but well. tltr really made him hard to like at first). but then they brought him back in the second season with his sad puppy eyes and inability to handle his thoughts on wu xie and being all touch-starved and pitiful and whatnot and baam, I had the adoption papers ready. he’s wonderful and so strong and so smart and amazing. and liu chang as his actor has been wonderful (and he’s so pretty my god, have you seen him??)

2. Shen Wei

Guardian

never did I expect to just. fall into this hole after a year? I remember what a mess I was when I first watched guardian over a year ago, right after finishing the untamed. I was in shambles even as I knew how it would end. and now I’ve done this all again while also reading the novel and. my love for shen wei, especially bc it’s zhu yilong acting as shen wei? astronomical. I want to write poetry about him and his stupid responsibilities that he chooses to carry silently and his devotion to zhao yunlan and his love for his ppl and his didi and. I hope that one day I manage to write weilan bc I have this one idea and you can come pry it from my cold, dead fingers if it doesn’t get out there (am also super happy about the edit I made bc my god does he deserve at least that)

3. Cloud Strife

Final Fantasy VII

ok so stepping into the video games territory now. I was waiting for the remake like crazy and it was everything to me once the quarantine hit during spring. the game is so beautiful and I felt like I looked at this gorgeous boy once and was ready to give him my heart (tbh am quite sure he owned my heart before I even learned to know him). he is tragic in so many ways (I’ve only scratched the surface of all of his pain I know) and I wish I could just. hug him a lot. he is kind and cares very deeply even if he hates to show it and I love it how remake showed him also just being a human disaster (some of his scenes are just. peak comedy). I would kill for his smile (I have already cried for it a dozen)

4. Geralt of Rivia

The Witcher (The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt)

if there’s one grumpy, brickwall of a man I love, it’s geralt. I affectionately call him “papa wolf” while playing witcher 3 and his voice in it does things to me (I am just so fond of him ok, begone you dirty fuckers). I got introduced to him through the books and adored him in them bc he is so prickly and sarcastic and still so full of love even if he will never admit to it. he is the father figure I wish I could have in real life. (and yes, I’ve seen the tv series (or at least a couple of the first episodes) and it looks stunning but. this is my version of geralt and that’s the hill I will die on)

5. Xiaoge

Zhang Qiling, Daomu Biji (The Lost Tomb 2)

(wow finding a gif for him was a pain, apparently I gotta learn how to gif or?) ah, my dear boy who I’ve ended up just calling xiaoge bc he seems to prefer it over his real name/title/whatever zhang qiling really is. I got introduced to him through tltr where we really didn’t get to know that much about him bc he was just... there. huang junjie was absolutely stunning tho and his soft smiles made me super fond, but only in the lost tomb 2 did I really fall in love with xiaoge as a character. I was surprised tbh bc I didn’t expect it to be this drama? I had so many doubts about the cast in tlt2 but they all delivered! and I think cheng yi’s xiaoge is now my favorite bc he somehow captured that softness and the pain of him? (and we do not talk about that buxun storyline tyvm) tho now that ultimate note is on the way, I gotta say that xiao yuliang does a wonderful job as xiaoge too!

6. Wu Xie

Daomu Biji (Ultimate Note)

(sorry we have to go with a pingxie gif now but maybe it’s only fitting) tbh it’s hard to choose my favorite version of wu xie. I think all of the actors for him have done amazing job showing wu xie in different parts of his life (all of them are very distinct but still feel like the same person) but currently zheng shunxi takes the lead. I really wanted to put the reboot version of him here (bc I love that mature, relaxed and somehow very soft version of him and the angst is phenomenal and the thoughts he has about death... yeah) but I already have zhu yilong’s face here once so :’D wu xie is just one of those characters you cannot not like. he is so strong, so kind, so stubborn, so wonderfully stupid sometimes and in need of careful protection. I also adore it how smart he is and I could listen to him spew history facts for 10 hours straight (even if it was in a tomb full of blood zombies) ♥

7. Jiang Cheng

Jiang Wanyin, The Untamed

my darling boy! my beautiful angry grape! I love him beyond words. I love him in all of his raging, misunderstood, stupid, sassy, constipated, abused, tragic, bitter, big hearted glory. I could write novels about him (and I did and am still writing oh boy) and his love for ppl and his inability to show that love and his loneliness and his issues. I could also write another novel for all of his outfits etc. bc damn, what a fashion king. he is just so great. he owns my soul. he deserves happiness and in this essay I will

8. Isana Yashiro

Adolf K. Weismann, K Project

I rewatched k project this spring bc a) it’s one of my favorite animes ever (it just looks stunning with all the colors) and b) I love yashiro to bits. I remember falling in love with him when I first watched k project many years ago bc he was just so kind and bright. this time though, I ended up seeing another side of him and my god did I cry. he is... so sweet. he cares for others so deeply and is ready to sacrifice so much for them and his love for his two clansmen... yeah. I think I finally saw the tragedy of him too, all the pain and loneliness and insecurity he decides to hide behind his smile and obnoxious personality. he reminded me a lot of myself and watching him made my heart bleed in a good way

9. Qi Tiezui

Ba Ye, The Mystic Nine

(wow am going to riot for the lack of all the gifs hhh) yes, we’re continuing with the dmbj universe that sucked me in big time this year. the drama of the mystic nine wasn’t probably that earth shattering for me as it somehow got boring more than once but I did love ba ye to bits. he was just... so nice? I got it that he was somehow this “comedic relief” in the drama with all of his funny scenes and ridiculous mannerisms but I could see the brilliance of him. he is warm and smart and kind of a romantic too and he cares for all of his friends so deeply? it was also sweet how protective of him his two zhangs were (does that run in the family? the tendency to imprint into one smart but disastrous man and keep him safe? maybe) and I really hope I knew more about him bc he seemed to have a lot of knowledge and a lot of impact to ppl’s lives (I yelled when they mentioned him in ultimate note, I miss him ;;)

10. Dorian Pavus

Dragon Age Inquisition

(yes I’ve been replaying DA:I this year, this counts!) another darling boy! my lovely sass master son! I have so much love for him and his story in DA:I. he is my favorite companion (and his romance is my favorite too, probably obvious in the way am currently romancing him for the third time) and he has given me a lot of strength. the way he stands up against his father, how he’s ready to reform his homeland instead of walking away, how he’s so caring for those he sees struggling... it’s very warming and I feel like I’m safe with him. it feels a bit silly to say that but he really is that comfort character I will seek out when I just want to know am doing fine :’) (and I am so excited to see him again in DA4! probably?)

+ 11. Li Cu

Tomb of the Sea

yes I cheated a bit (with my own rules lol) to fit li cu here. I didn’t really expect to like him or tomb of the sea as much as I did once I started it? I’ve seen leo wu elsewhere before this (battle through the heavens, nirvana in fire) and his face always makes me think about a sad puppy so maybe I just grew fond over li cu instantly bc he was... so hurt? the first episode really slaps you in the face with all of it, showing him being abused, wounded, kidnapped, tortured, used and then just very, very scared and broken. he continues being that throughout the whole drama and I feel like tomb of the sea (or sand sea or sha hai idk) is the darkest and angstiest story in the dmbj universe. I know it deserves to be bc this is a dark time for wu xie but... my darling li cu. I wish him only happiness ;; he was so strong and smart and wonderful in this and it was just so amazing to watch him grow and find his own place in the world just bc he did something himself (even when he got dragged into all of this bc of wu xie) also I support the wu xie adopts li cu -agenda

Honorary mentions:

Zhang Rishan, Xie Yuchen and Hei Xiazi from DMBJ universe. The Twin Jades of Gusu and Ouyang Zizhen from The Untamed. The Iron Bull and Fenris from Dragon Age games. Thane Krios, Kaidan Alenko and Jaal from Mass Effect games. The whole lot of Assassin’s Creed protagonists (especially Ezio Auditore and Shay Cormac). Adam Parrish and Ronan Lynch from The Raven Cycle. Neil Josten from All For The Game. Eduon and March from The Smoke Thieves. Qiling from L.O.R.D. Critical World. Luo Fei from Detective L (played by Bai Yu).

well, with this I can really see that I have a thing for those who are tragic :’D I have a thing for grumpy, prickly and antisocial guys or those who hide their pain behind a smile. maybe it’s bc I am somehow both, even if I can’t show my anger or be mean to others and even if I feel like my smile never sticks either. I just find kinship in all of the characters who are on this list. and I feel like I aspire to be as strong and as kind and as loving despite all the pain I’ve been put through.

thank you, this was so much fun! and sorry I made this so long and so complicated ^^’ but well, there are just way too many male characters I love haha

at the end I want to tag @i-am-just-a-kiddo @ashenwren @kholran @tiesanjiao @lan-xichens @aheartfullofjolllly @manhasetardis and @lzswy ♥ feel free to do this in your own way or not at all! and thank you if you managed to read through my rambling :’D

#tag game #wow this was something #i've been waiting for one #bc there is so much love in me #and this year i've discovered so many #new characters to just gush over #about me #random #edit: added a few characters #and tagged some more ppl sorry #also mobile tumblr wouldnt let me edit so lol

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horansqueen · 4 years

Text

You & Me : chapter 41

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.6k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: hope the smut isnt too much lol! oh and, couldnt find the gif i wanted but this one will do. this chapter was fun to write and i dont think it was a filler chapter lol! only a few chapters left, im super nervous! at the same time, this story is getting less and less popular sooo idk, maybe its time? idk. if you read and comment and like and reblog, I LOVE YOU!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : posting them at the bottom because of spoilers!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 41 : His chapter

NIALL

May 15th, 2018

I was so close to ask her to marry me when we were in Spain. I kept looking at her ring finger, imagining what the ring I had bought would look on her hand, and telling myself that now that we were official, anything was possible, and I wanted it. I wanted the impossible, I wanted everything. The words "marry me" almost escaped my lips exactly 11 times and even now, I was wondering how I actually stopped myself from just doing it.

We were back in California for a few days and I had convinced her to spend her time in my house instead to go back to hers. Most likely, Louis was there with Eleanor or he was spending all his time at her place. Either way, I thought we were better at my house but I knew that eventually, she'd want to see Louis and get back in her stuff anyway.

I woke up and blinked a few times as the sun peeked through the curtains but not enough to light the room. It was dark but I could see clearly and when I turned around, I realized she was laying on her back, completely naked, and the covers were only hiding one of he legs. She was still asleep, her hair messy around her head, and I couldn't help but reach for my cock as my eyes roamed on her. I got on my knees gently, making sure I wouldn't make the mattress move too much, and let one of my hands run on her breasts while I grabbed my dick with the other, stroking it slowly. I rubbed my thumb on one of her nipples until it got hard and finally, I let my fingertips brush down her body to reach between her legs, her skin so soft against mine. Slowly, I moved one of her knees before letting two of my fingers run on her slit. The more I was touching her, the harder I was getting and I moved closer to her on my knees just to rub the tip of my cock on her nipple.

"Jesus Christ." I whispered before she moved lightly in her sleep, letting out a low whimper.

I stopped moving and waited until she did too to continue touching her, my heart skipping a beat. The sensation was incredible and it made me want to rub my dick all over her body. I turned my body slightly and reached for her lips with my dick this time, feeling myself get even hornier when she licked her lips. It brushed on the tip of my cock and I let out a low groan as my eyes fluttered. I knew the whole thing was turning me on more than it should and all I could think about was getting between her legs and pushing my cock deep inside her.

Instead, I reached for her pussy again, rubbing one of my fingers gently on her clit as I felt her get wetter. Her body jerked a bit and she moaned low again before I let out an other curse word and slipped two fingers inside her, moving them in and out of her extremely slowly. I could hear how wet she was and I felt my cock throb in my hand. I was so turned on by her that I could barely believe I was doing that but she was so gorgeous, laying there completely naked in my white sheets, and the way she made me hard was just un-fucking-believable. I finally moved between her legs very slowly only to rub the tip of my dick on her clit. It slid easily due to how wet she was from me fingering her and this time, she let out a louder moan as one of her legs twitched. I jerked off harder between her legs as I pushed my thumb inside of her and rubbed her clit harder with one of my fingers until I was closer to an orgasm and without thinking, I took my hand away and pushed the tip of my cock inside her. Her walls pressed around it and I knew she was waking up. I took my cock out as I felt an orgasm reach me, cumming a bit inside of her before spurting on her pussy.

"Holy fuck."

I let out a moan as I watched her pussy get covered with my cum and when I looked up, her lips were parted and she was staring at me.

"Did you just cum all over me?" she asked in a low tone, her eyebrows raised.

"I.. did. I'm sorry."

Her eyes fell on my still hard cock as I shook it slightly and she bit her bottom lip before spreading her legs apart more and reaching for her pussy. I looked at her fingers gather some of my cum and slide it down until her clit. She let out a louder whimper as she started rubbing herself with the vestige of my orgasm and I couldn't help but let out an other curse word.

"You should have woken me up." she pointed, her voice a mix of a whimper and a whisper.

"I know petal but you looked so vulnerable and hot just laying there, naked and asleep." I admitted, my eyes never leaving her fingers as she flicked them on her clit. "Fuck, you love rubbing your clit with my sperm?"

I didn't know if it was my words or just the fact that she was touching herself but she let out an other moan and her back arched suddenly. I brought one of my hands closer and once again pushed two of my fingers inside her as she kept touching herself and squirming on the bed.

"I want to watch you cum, darling."

It only took her about half a minute before she started shaking and when my named escaped her lips, I could swear I got dizzy and my vision got blurred for a few seconds.

"Oh fuck, Niall!"

Something stirred in my stomach and I just stared at her as she came, grinding on my fingers and squirming even more. When she came down from her high and relaxed on the mattress, I took my fingers out and slowly lied down over her. Her eyes were still closed and her lips were still parted as she panted. I brushed my mouth against hers and she whimpered as I felt my whole body vibrate.

"You did so well, petal. That was so fucking hot."

She brought her hands to my head, slipping her fingers in my hair, before kissing me deeply. I tilted my head slightly, tasting her as she whimpered in my mouth. I swallowed her moans and when i pulled away to look in her eyes, she sighed low.

"I don't want to go to work today." she admitted, raising her nose up and making an amused smile appear on my lips.

"You have to."

"I could call in sick?" she asked, her eyebrows raised and her face full of hope.

I laughed and shook my head, making her groan immediately. "Nope, you have to go. I'll go with you, how's that?"

"Better than nothing I guess."

I chuckled and got up, searching through my stuff to find clean clothes and when I glanced at her, my lips curled again.

"Stop staring at me and get ready. I'll make coffee and we can leave." The alarm on her phone started ringing as soon as I finished my sentence and I raised my eyebrows. "See? You have to wake up. Take a shower, I'll wait for you in the kitchen."

I heard her groan and turned around when I heard a sound only to realize she had tried throwing a pillow at me but had failed miserably. I laughed and shook my head but turned back around and reached the kitchen.

We ate toasts quickly as we walked to the car and remained silent the whole ride until we were there. We should both have gotten out of the car, I knew it, but instead, we remained sitting there, looking in front of us, and I kept wondering how we should act together. We were never the type to show too much affection in public. It happened before with friends around, or family sometimes, but not when random strangers could see. This time, we were with a lot of strangers and I was wondering if I should hold her hand or not. Should I kiss her temple sometimes? Or just go straight for the mouth? I didn't know anymore and if I wanted to be frank, I had never asked myself that question in any other relationships before.

"Ready?"

"No."

I frowned and turned to her but it took her a few seconds to look back at me. She sighed and shrugged before shaking her head a bit.

"Things have been particularly awkward with Dylan even since Heidi posted all those lyrics about us on instagram." she admitted, closing her eyes tight for a few seconds before opening them again. "We're filming the season's finale today and, I don't know, I'm nervous I guess."

"Anything special about the final episode?"

She stared at me, her eyes roaming on my face, and her lips parted. "His character is breaking up with my character."

We looked at each other in silence and after a while, I reached for her hand on her thigh and squeezed her fingers tight. I knew why it made her feel like this and I knew it was not only because of her relationship with Dylan being awkward. This scene was our scene. It was that day I broke up with her and tore her heart in pieces. I held my breath, feeling suddenly extremely exposed. I had no really realized before how big this was. Of course, I knew her tv show was inspired by our story but it just hit me that people were actually watching it, and I was wondering how many of them now knew almost exactly what had happened between us?

"I'm here with you. It'll go amazingly, trust me." I pointed out, knowing it was not the right time to have a big discussion about her writing. "Remember in Italy? I almost believed you were breaking up with me to go marry your ex boyfriend."

She chuckled a bit. "You totally believed it."

"Maybe I did." I quickly replied. "But only for a few minutes, because I believe in us, I believe in our love, and I believe in you. So you go in there and play that scene and show them how incredible you are."

Her lips curled a bit and she rolled her eyes before finally nodding. I smiled more and we got out of the car to walk in. I thought I'd see Dylan first but when my eyes met Heidi's, I felt my heart jump up in my throat, almost throwing it up. I felt Olivia tense next to me and I held my breath when she saw us. She sent us a big smile but I could read so much pettiness behind it that it made me grimace.

"Hi!"

I glanced at Olivia who frowned and licked her lips. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh you didn't know?" Heidi replied, her eyebrows raised and her lips curled into a satisfied smile. "I'm with Dylan now."

As if on cue, he appeared and stood next to Heidi but I noticed his eyes never left my girlfriend and it bothered me more than I wanted to admit. Of course, I couldn't expect him to just forget about her, after all, he was ready to marry her, but at the same time I wanted him to move on as quickly as he could. If that was to be done with Heidi then be it : i was ready to put up with her on the set.

"I hope it doesn't bother you too much." Heidi added, tilting her head and looking at Liv who sent her a smile back.

Dylan and I were just keeping quiet, not really sure what we were supposed to say or do, and I pushed both my hands in my pockets.

"Oh no, not at all. It's all good." Olivia replied with a shrug. "I mean, it's not the first time you run after one of my exes, you know? Oh! Maybe I could make you a list of all the men and women I dated? Would save you some time."

I almost choked on my own spit, not really expecting that reply. I knew what kind of person my girlfriend was but she had always played it low with Heidi because she knew it was not worth it. It seemed like this time, she had had enough.

I thought Heidi would answer something rude but instead, her facial expression changed into a surprised one and finally, her eyes got smaller. She was pissed, I knew it, but she'd never prove it to Olivia. She found her smile back and breathed in, wrapping her arm around Dylan's and looking up at him.

"Can you show me the set?"

He nodded and they left but he glanced back at us when he was farther and I finally sighed, turning to my girlfriend who was smiling. I thought she'd be a bit mad, or upset that her ex boyfriend was now with my ex girlfriend, but she didn't seem to care... until her smile fell down and she closed her eyes.

"Hey, what's wrong suddenly?" I asked with a frown, taking a step closer and wrapping my fingers around her arm.

"I just realized Heidi was going to be there for the finale." she admitted, looking up at me. "She'll... see all of it. She'll see how it went... between... us."

It was the very first time Olivia admitted that her tv show was about us and I licked my lips, feeling something stir in my stomach. I didn't care that Heidi saw it, but I cared that the whole world would.

"You shouldn't care about her. She's with Dylan just to get to you or get back at us. She's here to piss you off and make you feel like shit. Don't let it get to you. Don't let her win."

She turned her whole body my way and her lips curled slightly into a fond smile. Slowly, she got on her tiptoe and pressed her lips gently against mine. It took me by surprise but I just answered her kiss and when she got back down on her feet, she tilted her head.

"Liv, can I ask you something?" I asked seriously, licking my lips as she nodded, her smile faltering a bit. "I know your tv show is based on our story but... for the next season, could you change that?"

I was scared to hurt her but at the same time, it was something I just needed to ask. If she said she didn't want to, I would accept it, but she knew my private life was a big deal for me and when she started nibbling on her bottom lip, I knew she felt guilty. I could read it on her face.

"I'm sorry, Niall. I never thought people would connect the show with our story but that was stupid of me. I mean, when I wrote that, I thought I'd never see you again, so I sort of wrote to... let it all out, you know?" she stopped and sighed. "Of course I'll make it different. I'll think of a whole other story for the characters, and make sure it has nothing in common with our story. Except maybe... well, the fact that they're soulmates."

I smiled and nodded, chuckling slightly. "I don't know if they are, but I know we are."

----

I wandered around the studio while they were filming, and finally ended up at the cafeteria to grab a bite. I sat alone and started checking messages I got on my phone when I felt a presence in front of me and looked up. I was not surprised to see Heidi but I was not pleased either.

"Niall, we need to talk."

I blinked a few times and licked my lips, not really in the mood to discuss with her, but I finally just sighed and put my phone down as she sat down. I noticed she was holding a sheet in her hands and it made me frown. I didn't have time to ask her about it, she simply leaned against the table to move closer to me and instinctively, I moved my upper body away from hers.

"You know you could have just called me." she let out, confusing me and making me frown. "I know you miss me, and honestly I think we should get back together. I forgive you, I know you were a bit lost and..." she shook her head and I was even more puzzled. "It doesn't matter."

I shook my head, trying to get my thoughts back into place but I just licked my lips again. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

She put the sheet on the table and pushed it closer to me. It took me half a second to realize it was my handwriting and after reading only a few words, I knew it was which song of mine.

"Wait, where did you find that? I thought I lost it!"

The song was not finished but as my eyes roamed on the lyrics, I had a bunch of ideas on how to actually complete it and I held my breath.

"I found it in my boxes... the ones from your place that you've had sent to my place." she explained, reaching out to put her fingers on top of my hand.

I stopped moving completely and my eyes dropped to our hands. I felt frozen in place, a bit startled by her behavior and not really knowing how to react.

"What are you doing?" I just asked, my eyes still staring at her fingers brushing gently against my hand.

"You're right. We should get back together, Niall." she added. "I mean, I know you're trying to make me jealous with her but let's be real. Who could really be jealous of her?"

Quickly, I shook my head and pulled my hand away from hers, mad that she would talk shit about my girlfriend again. "Do you even listen to yourself? You know damn well I'm with Liv and.. aren't you with Dylan? I love her, okay! I'm not trying to make anyone jealous, I'm just trying to love her the way she deserves to be loved... the way I failed to love her the first time. And you have nothing to do with any of this. What even makes you think I want to be with you?" I was frowning, getting pissed at her behavior, and I started wondering why I ever wanted to be with her in first place.

"Because of that song! You wrote it for me and put it in one of my boxes for me to find!"

I rolled my eyes, angry that she could even think I wrote one song about her.

"I wrote this about Olivia! I wrote that in the first week I saw her again at the bakery after not seeing her for over a year. It isn't about you, Heidi. It got in one of your boxes by mistake!" I explained a bit rudely, looking in her eyes to make sure she understood. "I love Olivia, not you. You need to let it go, okay? And those instagram posts you make.. For fuck's sake, Heidi! What's the point? Make me feel bad? Alright, I'm sorry I cheated on you, I should have broken up with you before and that was a mistake, okay? Now please, leave me the fuck alone."

Without giving her time to answer, I got up and left her by herself at the table before hiding in Liv's dressing room. I searched for a pen, my heart racing as I feared I'd forget the words dancing around in my head, and finally found one before leaning against the counter. I started scribbling fast, almost dropping the pen a few times as I held my breath. I scratched the first line and quickly replaced it to 'Maybe we are the champagne lovers' and went to the chorus to add a few lines, too.

'So come on love me when the lights burn low Meet me underneath the sheets Cause you got a hold of me baby, enough to pull me back in deep You used to love me when the lights burned low Now we’re tearing at the seams We've both had enough of this, baby, so promise me that when you leave You won’t say you’ll come back to me.'

I stared at the words and re-read them a few times before licking my lips. I was still lost in my thoughts when the door opened and I jumped a little, turning to see my girlfriend walking in. I sent her a fond smile and moved up from the counter as she wrapped her arms around me. I held her close, the paper burning on my fingertips, and kissed the top of her head.

I couldn't stop thinking about the lyrics and remembered exactly how I felt when I wrote most of the song. I missed her and I missed what we had. I didn't like where we were and I couldn't believe she was marrying someone else. The parts about sheets I had added reminded me of when we would hide under the covers and we had done it quite often in the past few weeks, making the whole meaning even more powerful.

"How did it go?"

"Not bad for now." she admitted, moving away. "But I think we'll film the rest an other day. It took longer than it was supposed to."

"Good, then maybe Heidi won't be there when you film the final scene." I suggested, raising my eyebrows.

"Hopefully." she replied with a smile before frowning. "What's that?"

My traits softened and I brought the sheet up again to read the lyrics. "A song. For you."

"Can I hear it?" she asked making me look up. Her eyebrows were raised and she was biting her bottom lip. She was so endearing that I almost said yes.

"Soon, okay?. I need a piano for this one."

----

May 19th, 2018

Olivia actually slept a good part of the day and I ended up at the pub with Julia, who was back to California too since her tour was over. I had an other first part for the other half of the tour and I knew I was going to miss her dearly. It was not like me to be super emotional, but with time, Julia easily became one of my closest friends and traveling with her had been a blast. I couldn't pretend that the fact that she listened to me complain about my love life didn't help us to become closer but it would be a lie.

"Where's your girlfriend today? I wanted to see her." I felt my lips curl more as I looked at her and she frowned. "What?"

"Oh no it's just... hearing someone else call her my 'girlfriend' is very cool." I pointed out with a chuckle, scratching the back of my head, feeling a bit embarrassed. I couldn't believe I had said that.

"That's what she is now, right?" Julia asked with a small laugh. "That's what you've wanted for months. You've been complaining about it every single day!"

"What? Come on, don't exaggerate." I argued, raising my nose up.

"I'm not!" she laughed again before getting a bit more serious. "I'm very happy for you, Niall. Now it's time to move forward, you know?"

"Meaning?" I raised my eyebrows after taking a long sip of beer.

"Meaning... plan the future and don't fuck up."

I stared at her and nodded with a small smile. I knew she was right, and she was not the only one who told me to not fuck it all up this time. I really didn't intend to, and I knew I wouldn't. I had lost Olivia before, and I had learned from that. I was not going to lose her again.

I was a bit tipsy when I got back home but she didn't even notice me. I stared at her, wearing only one of my t-shirts and a pair of black panties, standing in front of the tv in the living room as old songs from the 90's played full volume in the background. I was pretty sure I recognized a Backstreet Boys song ending and just as I thought it couldn't be funnier, a Spice Girls song followed and she started dancing and singing very loudly. I started laughing but she didn't hear me because of how loud the music was and it made me happy to know I could watch her a few more minutes. She jumped on the couch and pretended to have a microphone as she sang the lyrics and tried to do the dance and when she just started dancing around my living room, I took a few steps closer and she jumped, putting one of her hands on her chest as if it would help slow down the beatings of her heart.

"Fuck, you scared me!" she let out with a chuckle after pausing the music.

I didn't say anything. I just stared at her with a fond smile, thinking of everything we went through and how much I loved her.

"Move in." I let out as she was taking a sip of wine.

She frowned and chuckled again. "What?"

"Move in with me. Here."

Her lips parted and her eyebrows raised before she let out the air from her lungs quickly from her mouth in a surprised way. She licked her lips and cleared her throat before putting her glass back on the coffee table and taking a step closer.

"Are you... sure you can handle that?"

I knew she was referring to the fact that we were different, but it didn't matter. Yea, she was messy and yea it was annoying, but it was such a small problem and I knew we could compromise. In fact, I knew we'd both be way happier if we lived together and I wanted it. I wanted it so bad I could feel it in my bones.

"Yes." I let out in a low tone. "I want your grumpy face in the morning. I want your way too sweet morning coffee... I-I want your mess all over my fucking house, Olivia. I want to smell you when I step foot here after a long work day. I want to start a life with you. I want you to have your own dressers, not just a few drawers in mine. I want to share everything I have with you. I want to share myself with you."

She pressed her lips together and swallowed and I could swear she was tearing up.

"I want all that, too." she admitted, tilting her head. "I want to spend my life with you, Niall."

My lips curled in a big smile. "Then let's take that step. Move in with me."

It took her about a minute but she finally just chuckled and shook her head. "Okay. Let's do this."

REQUESTS

(i changed the first one just a little bit hope its ok!)

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan story #niall horan writing #my fanfics #yam

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callioope · 3 years

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Continuing my reactions to Avatar: The Last Airbender.

This post is about Book 2. See my overall impressions and thoughts on Book 1 here.

Quick/General Thoughts

Uhhh pretty wild there is both a solar eclipse and a super comet happening in the same summer… anyways!!!

Ba Sing Se was so messed up omg

Aang

SMH more adults trying to take advantage of Aang. I was furious with the Earth Kingdom general who tried to force Aang to fight the Fire Lord well before he was ready. Clearly he was not ready! And then the audacity for him to attack Aang and then Katara to provoke the Avatar state was whole levels of messed up.

The Great Appa Kidnapping: Yeah, so, as soon as the sand traders took him, I was like, “Oh no. I’ve heard about this. They are going to be in trouble!” But even then I didn’t know it stretched out over so many episodes. These episodes broke my heart! Aang’s complete distress at having lost Appa. Then the episode from Appa’s POV. Poor Appa! He goes through so much. It’s devastating. And then both Appa and Aang both dream of how they originally met each other? UNFAIR. CRUEL. HOW DARE THE CREATORS DO THIS TO ME. (I’m being facetious I love it I live for this kind of drama this is how i express they were doing good storytelling)

The whole “final chakra” being about letting go of attachments… hmm that felt VERY Star Wars of them… Filoni is this your doing? (Although actually I don’t remember seeing his name on any Book 2 episodes.)

Sokka

My fave continues to be the long-suffering Sokka, just trying to get his family to Omashu, it shouldn’t be this hard!!! This was literally what I wrote at the time of watching “Chapter Two: The Cave of Two Lovers,” and OH LITTLE DID I KNOW!!! [cut to Book 3… lmao… anyways]

Sokka making a map to help keep track of the maze-like cave/tunnel is actually really clever. I can’t believe people think he’s stupid. I mean, sure, it didn’t end up working, but that’s because the cave was magic or whatever, and that is beyond his control!

Side note, but lol at Sokka’s purchases and love for shopping. His ridiculous belt! How excited he was that it matched his bag!

Second side note, I was pretty excited to see that gif where Sokka is making that “I’m watching you” gesture and then goes “Water tribe!”

Katara

Yeah, notice how I don’t have much to say about Katara? It’s not that I don’t like her or that I don’t think she’s interesting, but. I just don’t really have a lot to say about her.

I was amused by how she handled those bullies. My impression before I started watching was that she was going to be this like, pure and GoodTM character, but she definitely has her flaws and that is better.

I really liked the scene where she is able to calm Aang down while he’s in the Avatar state. There was good build up to that, showing her worry every time he entered it and her awareness of the fact that he only ever enters it when feeling upset. The fact that she was able to do that clearly Meant Something. So again, I suppose, I really feel up to this point that the show is very much like “Aang/Katara Endgame!” it felt very obvious to me. And I knew before starting the show that Zuko and Katara are a thing — but Aang and Katara is just so heavy handed that it was impossible for me to ship them with anyone else. They were just foundational to the show. Like it always felt like a foregone conclusion to me, almost as if they were established from the beginning although they obviously weren’t.

Toph

I spent like, the second half of Book 1 thinking “WHEN TOPH WHEN TOPH!” Imagine my ire that she still isn’t around for the first five episodes of Book 2, which is titled “EARTH” my goodness.

But OH was I delighted by “Chapter 6: The Blind Bandit”!!! I loved her intro, I loved how Aang is just immediately in awe of her skills when he sees her. He knows she’s exactly the teacher he’s been waiting for. “She waited and listened!” he says. Yes. I love it. (But also, lol at Sokka booing Aang.) Despite this, Aang really does not handle that first interaction very well!

So frustrating how her parents were treating her. “She’s fragile and helpless!” what a thing to say about your daughter. [Also you literally named her “tough”?!] And he is basically going to imprison her, wtf. & how do you get off saying “the avatar is no longer welcome here”?! smh children whose parents try to “control” their kids always end up being the most rebellious.

I was amused that “my dad changed his mind” apparently was a popular lie daughters use on this show. *facepalm*

I liked the contrast between how Toph wanted to teach Aang and how Katara thought he should be taught! That was interesting. And yeah, Toph certainly lives up to her name.

Zuko & Iroh

Spent a good portion of the early part of this season wondering how Zuko and Iroh could possibly be related to the awful Fire Lord (and Azula for that matter — jeez she is nuts!), and longing to know what happened to Zuko’s mom. (Obviously that would be answered soon!)

Knowing that Zuko eventually joins the Aang crew, but also remembering that I never saw Iroh with them, made me SEVERELY worried that something terrible would happen to Iroh. And I spent the entire rest of the series worrying about that. Uh, especially since, apparently Iroh is hopeless at Survival 101. Honestly that was surprising to me.

Zuko deciding they needed to split up was devastating!!! No!!! I loved the adventures of Zuko & Iroh!! He said, “There's no reason for us to stick together,” and I was like, “Yes there is you idiot! Because you’re family and you love each other!!!” I was so sad. I mean, also Iroh is currently the only person who likes Zuko, so, you know, that might be a good reason to stay with him. Just a thought.

The last thing Zuko needs is to be alone, that will NOT be good for his issues. And lo and behold, look! Immediately, he’s struggling on his own. But I did like that episode (“Chapter 7: Zuko Alone”) because we get to see Zuko’s mom! (Uh, did she have a name?) Turtle ducks are so cute.

“Everything I’ve done I’ve done to protect you.” THIS. SLAYED. ME!!!!!! I mean, y’all know Rogue One is my jam so this parallel with Zuko’s mom and Galen Erso????? I lost it. I just lost it. Plus, though it isn’t confirmed until later, we can tell she’s sacrificing herself to save Zuko and just. (A) what a completely messed up family, but (B) MY HEART. SHE BETTER BE ALIVE is all I’m saying.

Interesting side note: they never show Ozai’s face in the early seasons.

If you assumed that I was delighted to see Iroh has been tailing Zuko this whole time, you’d be correct. I had hoped that was the case and was very glad it was. Although *facepalm* again at Zuko. I suppose he had no way of knowing Katara had healing powers but it was so frustrating knowing if he had just listened to them for one minute they could have helped Iroh after Azula blasted him. At least he made him tea and nursed him back to health.

If the evil advisor of Ba Sing Se had files on everyone and knew everything that went on… I mean… did he know about Iroh and Zuko?

I didn’t jot down any notes about this at the time, BUT. Man. Did I ADORE Zuko and Iroh’s adventures in Ba Sing Se. I mean it was a nice relief from all the other crazy stuff happening. (Not happy to see Jet though. Ugh.)

Finally, though, Zuko’s betrayal at the very end of the season totally shocked me. Because of spoilers, I knew he’d join Aang’s crew, and so it was so confusing! And such a regression, I really didn’t understand it and was very worried about what it would mean for his redemption arc — but more on that in the next post, don’t want to get ahead.

Azula

Oh. Boy. Again, I knew she was going to be crazy, but I don’t think I was prepared for just how messed up she is. “Do the tides command this ship. You said they would not allow us…” Jeez that is pedantic in a very bizarre way and obviously not what was meant… Yikes.

Also, Azula is much better at finding Zuko than Zuko is at finding Aang. Just a stray observation.

“Father regrets your banishment. He wants you home.” [insert IT’s A TRAP gif here]

“If the Earth Kingdom finds us, they'll have us killed. If the Fire Nation finds us, they'll turn us over to Azula. Earth kingdom it is.” Yeah, this line was hilarious but also sad. It really said a lot about Azula, and Zuko and Iroh’s relationship with her.

Had no idea Azula had her own crew. It was incredibly clear that Ty Lee felt coerced to join her and didn’t really want to, but that was less clear to me for Mai. Mainly seemed like Mai was bored with where she was and was just like “shrugs might as well do evil stuff.”

I did know that a character named “Mai” would eventually be Zuko’s love interest (and it is pretty heavily portrayed that she has a crush on him), so at this point, I was very much like, “Hmm. This character is too apathetic and annoying, I don’t want her to end up with Zuko!” Plus, the fact that her name was pronounced “May,” (which was not how I thought “Mai” was pronounced) and I knew Zuko would have a thing with a lady in a tea shop, I wasn’t 100% sure Zuko/Mai were end game.

“She’s crazy and she needs to go down.” I think Iroh said this. I just don’t know what to say. Why is Azula the way she is? That’s never entirely clear to me. In some ways, it’s implied she was just Like That (in the flashback where mom is like “What is wrong with you?”) and perhaps she’s just her father’s daughter. I don’t need a reason, per se. Idk. I just don’t know what to say to her. She clearly needs help.

#avatar the last airbender #avatar: the last airbender #atla #a:tla

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unseelie-bitch · 3 years

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Season 1 Episode 5: Wither Into the Truth [Part Two]

Hate that they've decided since Riven is getting a redemption arc Dane is getting the edgy "bad-boy" music

Also it's fucking ridiculous that they've decided the young, black, bisexual guy is going evil while the homophobic, misogynistic white man is actually just a sadboy who never wanted to be here and just needed someone who would listen to his feelings

"One bad thing" you PUBLICLY mocked her for being fat and liking you. YOU'RE A FUCKING DICK, DANE, DON'T PUT THIS ON TERRA

Going absolutely INSANE over the fact Aisha just used her magic spray Dane in the face

Silva would DEFINATELY sacrifice the few for the many Sky, come on

Imma say that Bloom's town created the Burned Ones and any fire fairies have a connection to them, which is why they disappeared after the Incident and why Bloom was taken out of the fairy realm and Beatrix wasn't. But now she's back and so are they, and also, let's be honest, Rosalind probs only saved her to try and control the Burned Ones

There are torches Bloom, why did you light the ground on fire

And Bloom and Sky are kissing. I just... don't care

Oop magic disc is GLOWING

LMAO SHE DRUGGED HIMMM

Oh Noura's fucking dead

Oh shit that's a LOT of Burned Ones

"I have feelings - and if I can't express them verbally, I'm not above poltergeisting" THIS IS THE STELLA WE DESERVE AND THE ONE WE COULD (AND SHOULD) HAVE HAD ALL ALONG

Okay so I hate this show but I am literally BEGGING someone to gif the "*snap* I have an opinion" moment and let me download it to use for everything because it's so important to me. Genuinely guys please can someone give me that gif idk how to make it myself and it's literally the entirity of this blog summed up in a single moment

Dowling's face when Bloom said "Asterdel" LMAO this woman did NOT need this today

PLEASE give us backstory Fara

Fara, Rosalind and Greenhouse man have THAT MUCH POWER?? Shit, man

"Why would she do that" because Rosalind is a shady👏bitch👏

"I will help you get the answers you need. I give you my word" she seemed to mean that so... Dowling's gonna die

Beatrix is NOT okay and clearly has 0 independent thought who the FUCK raised her to be like this

Why is Bloom happy to see Stella y'all haven't had a SINGLE positive interaction for the entire show

This writer has never had an actual friend in his life and I know this because THIS IS WHAT HE THINKS FRIENDSHIP IS

Yep send the kids out to defend Alfea. Good planning, lads

Once again, super unnatural dialogue. Dowling doesn't need to describe what she's doing it would have been obvious from... the sounds of the forest getting amplified

So Aisha's snitching. After they deliberately wrote the line with her saying 'no, she isn't Dowling's pet, she was in fact actively spying for Bloom because that's how much she cares about her'. Because he is literally INCAPABLE of writing the black woman as a consistant character, oh no, instead she just becomes whatever he decides he wants for that scene. And the worst part is - you had a character that would have snitched! Terra! Terra could have easily told her dad who would then tell the rest of them, all without breaking her predefined character. But no, of course Aisha should be the one to break because CLEARLY he doesn't value her character at all

Lmao you're using Dane to spring the trap?

LMAO STELLA'S USING BEATRIX YES STELLA

"See? My ideas rock" THIS is accurate Stella rep, lads

That was clearly supposed to be a callback to Terra saying she missed Stella insulting her but it just felt super weird and forced. Who the FUCK let this man write

How do you know it's that door there's a whole other tunnel??

Also I swear when Beatrix came down here it was just like... a stairwell into a room? What happened????

Cave walls straight to brick, of course

Hello Roz you sneaky motherfucker

HATE the mind talking but here we are

[One episode left. Thank GOD it's almost over]

#fate spoilers #fate watch #fate: the winx saga

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kalemakar · 4 years

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opinion on the racism within fandoms and the remakes?

it’s real and it’s there!

in the remakes it’s sometimes obvious that the remake only had poc in their casts so that they could seem “woke.”

the only remake that truly fleshed out their poc characters was skam austin. each remake had their problems.

skam: what did they do to my boi mahdi? LITERALLY NOTHING! he was just there and we didn’t get to here much about him :(. also in sanas season there were a lot of problems with how they decided to handle the rasicm aspect along with the girl squad. the girl squad wasn’t the best to sana (but not as bad as imanes “friends”) and i sort of felt like the bench talk didn’t let sana explain what she felt as much as should’ve. also vilde just got away with saying a lot of racism (like in s1 correct me if i’m wrong but when vilde wanted to exclude sana no one really said anything) (the vilde thing goes for all the remakes

skam italia: didn’t have poc until season four. which was awful bc it meant they whitewashed th entire cast. and even then 3 (malik luai and rami) out of 4 of the new characters weren’t developed that much (im not including the parents just the boy squad).

skam france: literally only has fivepoc thst are main characters and all of them were either treated badly (imane) or didn’t get development at all (maya sofiane yann and sékou) then we also have idriss and alex who are side characters and still we haven’t gotten much about them. i found this post by @04hands and and additions made by @moyosdominatrix as well as this post by @norwaydumpsterremakes (idk why i can’t @)

skam españa: only has two poc and only one is fleshed out (amira). dilan is literally just there and we know nothing about him. all other other characters got some sort of development. however they conveniently left dilan out of that.

skam nl: i haven’t finished s2 yet but i remember in season 1 that iman wasn’t really there (not the shows fault) however they do have a nice diverse cast. lmao ill get back to this one after watching s2

druck: sam literally only talks about boys. she’s doesn’t get the development she deserves. and imo i think amiras season wasn’t handled the best (it’s an ok season i just wish they explored more topics. also i was ROBBED of the sam and amira friendship that i deserves oki) they cut their only poc season short and that cut all the development we could’ve seen. also they made some characters poc with out really giving much meaning to it (ex. mohammed is a refugee but he doesn’t really talk much about it)

wtfock: only has three poc. they villainized one (moyo- tho i actually would like a season about him WRITTEN BY BLACK WRITERS) and didn’t give yasmina a last name until season 2 (HER SEASON BETTER BE GOOD) and i feel like yasmina is a little underdeveloped. luca is also a little underdeveloped as well.

skam austin: well uhh lemme think (i loved that jo and so ya were developed and that their isak was a lesbian woc) however i feel like they should’ve made kelsey realize she was rude and kinda rasict sooner. (tho again that goes for every remake)

in the fandom it’s pretty prevalent. like white fans talk over poc fans sometimes which is awful. especially since it may be poc characwters and/or seasons that is being discussed. and some fans dismiss the bad things white characters have done (isak being the snake is one i can think of idk if people were angry with shay tho) and i feel like they wouldn’t have done the same if those characters were poc. ive also noticed that sometimes gif makers will lighten the skins of poc? i also found this lovely post by @cfgc that explains a lot about rasicm in the fandom.

also i hope this answer seems suffienct to you (i tried). i’m sure a lot of other people have a lot to add.

#oh boi i really tried here anon haha #skam #wtfock #skam france #druck #skam italia #skam nl #skam austin #skam españa #asks #anon #THERE ARE A LOT OF SPELLING ERRORS IK

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cooloddball · 4 years

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DESTIEL AND COCKLES RANT

THIS IS A RANT ON ALL THINGS DESTIEL AND COCKLES

PS. I do not know how to make gifs and or use photos yet so feel free to add yours

I have said this before and I will say it again. I have been in this fandom for a month and I ship Destiel and Cockles anyone who has a problem with this then move along and/or if you are an anti and read this, keep your hateful comments to yourself.

That being said, I have read about almost all ships in the fandom but mostly Destiel, Cockles, Wincest, and J2. Through all the reading and discovery, I still have to say I ship Cockles and Destiel more than ever before. However, I have seen some things from the antis that did not sit well with me.

This is going to be a long post so brace yourself and it is mostly about the hate the antis (anti-cockles, anti-wives , and anti-Destiel Shippers spread). Also this is a rant so don’t mind me,

ON DESTIEL

The hate on Destiel is massive. Mostly this is from Bronlies who hate Cas like he is the anti-Christ, and the Wincest shippers.

Now I am not trying to rain on anyone’s parade but come on. Cas is Dean’s best friend. Whether you ship them romantically or not, it is canon that Cas Dean’s best friend. We have seen time and again how miserable Dean is every time Cas dies. Dea has also expressly stated that Cas is his best friend and even said they are better together; all three of them including Sam. He has called him his family. So why the hate? Chuck himself has said that he has rebuilt Cas more times than anyone.

Now, people who believe that it is better to ship Sam and Dean who are literally blood brother but it is not okay to ship Dean and Cas what is wrong with you? Is it okay for someone to fuck their brother and/or be in love with them? I mean come on.

Before I was even a shipper, I always looked forward to episodes that Cas was in. He brought a different dynamic to the show in a positive way. Yes, I love the brothers but Cas is just deifferent and all the sass he brings makes the show, at least to me 10 times better. Sue me.

People saying that JA would never be comfortable with Destine because he is a Christian. I mean, he can call Chuck a dick, call angels dicks, make deals with demons and all other unchristian things but kissing another man is where he draws the line? If he was such a Christian, why does he let another man straddle him on stage or want to kill God?

Someone once said that JA supports wincest. I saw the video and I get what he said is that whatever floats your boat or something like that. So why is it so hard for him when it comes to Destiel? I don’t understand this man. He is a paradox.

ON COCKLES

I have seen antis, mostly those who ship J2 throw shade at MC saying that JA doesn’t like him, he just tolerates him and everything they do is for PR. I have not once seen anyone say that JP doesn’t like MC. You know why? I believe they view MC as a threat to their J2 ship.

So I stumbledupon this antis blog who had a whole analysis (much like am doing here) on why JA cannot be a couple. Here are some that I remember from the top of my head:

1. That JA said that he thinks Matt Bomer is attractive.

2. That JA moved to Austin to be live next to JP.

3. That JA and MC have nothing in common being that JA plays golf and sings etc and that MC does woodwork, writes poetry and bicycle touring.

4. That JA is with JP hence no. 2.

5. That JA does not curse on stage but MC does.

6. That MC does not take acting seriously but JA does.

Now now now. This beats logic. All the above things I beg to differ with not because I am cockles shipper but it is just common sense.

Being with someone or rather being in love with someone does not mean any of the above things have to be true. Hear me out.

1. On finding Matt Bomer attractive. I have many celebrity crushes, there are also ordinary people that I find attractive. But then again, I have a boyfriend, who I am in love with; I have been with for six years. But he looks nothing like my celebrity crushes or the ordinary people I find attractive. Does that mean I am not in love with him? No. It means I have eyes and I can appreciate beauty and have a few fantasies but I chose to be with him because I love him. He also has other people he finds attractive that look nothing like me, does that mean he does not love me? I mean come on.

Oh the most hilarious thing is that the anti said you cannot compare Matt to MC since Matt is way attractive. I mean come on; they may not look alike but they both have dark hair, blue eyes. Seriously people! And MC is so handsome and adorable at the same time. Sometimes I feel like he looks better than JA and JP. Sue me.

2. On JA moving to Austin. Lol. This means that he went to live next to his best friend. I mean come on. I have moved to live next to my best friend (bff) who is married. Does that mean I am in love with her? Hell no! But I feel safer knowing that she is there for me.

Also people need to understand, MC and JA could be involved romantically or not (pick your poison) but you don’t need to be next to your lover to love them or be in a relationship with them. Lond distance relationships anyone? They have families and kids and other priorities. Just because you are in a relationship with someone does not necessarily mean you live together or evn in the same area. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and also they are where they are now because of other priorities in their lives. So, living together or in the same town doesn’t make you more or less in love.

3. On the issue of common interests. This made me laugh so hard. I mean comeon, People who are together do not need to share any interests. The diversity of their interests is probably what attracted them to each other. Also how can you say a poet and a singer have nothing in common? They are artists. MC can write poems that JA can sing. Oh also remember that video MC’s friend DM posted on Twitter where they did the whole bicycle touring in Germany? Uh huh? JA seemed to be interested in that a lot. So..

4. I could say a lot about JA being with Jp. This J2 being married and their wives being beards is the weirdest thing I have ever seen. Seriously, J2 tinhats have gone ahead to hate of D’s posts and call her names. Telling her to stop pretending that she is JA. It is laughable and not in a nice way, really. Can they just stop? Before I became a cockles shipper I watched J2 videos where they interact be it cons, red carpet moments or even gag reels. It is just different. All I see are two bros; one that is really playful like a little puppy and the other one trying to be the big brother. As for JA and MC, it is different, there are things that JA is comfortable when Mc does that he is not comfortable when JP does them. Neck kisses for a start.

Also most of the J2 tinhats evidence about J2 being real is rarely backed up by visual evidence and if there is any, it is usually from years ago. I am not hating on antis, just stating facts.

5. I mean, cursing on stage really? I curse all the time my bf doesn’t. Does that mean he doesn’t like me or love me? Hell to the Fucking No! Suck it!

6. On Mc not taking acting seriously. Yeah I can guess why he doesn’t. It is not his only priority unlike JA who has chosen it as a career path. From what I have seen, MC’s priorities include making the world a better place through charities, politics, and oh, he is also a writer. Oh so forgive him if he is not obsessed with acting. Besides JA says that he likes how he acts as Cas because it is not like anything he has seen from other guest stars that have come on the show. I mean not being serious about something does not mean that you are not good at it. Would he have lasted 11 seasons if he was not good at what he does?

There was also hate that JA is only around MC for PR and he actually hates him. There were some photos and gifs so the apparent hate. So, if he cannot stand him, why is there so much evidence of JA going to MC to give some love, Neck kisses, intimate IG posts, face caresses, ass smacks, calling him his baby dadfy, heart eyes, even when they don’t know that they are being filmed?

Also why is it during the Vegascon 2020 all JA did was bring up MC unnecessarily even when no one, absolutely nobody asked him to. Come on! stop the bs and admit that Cockles is the realest ship in the history of ships!!

ON THE WIVES

I swear bitches be crazy. How can you just hat someone for literally nothing? This is mostly from J2 tinhats at other J2 stans who do not ship J2 together romantically. I mean…comeon. You do not need to be a stan for the wives just because they are married to J2 but please stop with the madness.

I recently saw someone comment on various JA posts on IG asking why he is lying to the fans that he is with D when he is with JP. So many rude things have been said about the wives especially D that it breaks my heart.

Seiously? People have gone ahead even to say that she is with JA’s friend SC and that the twins are not JA’s they are SC’s since D and SC are ‘always’ hanging out together. My question is, so D is not supposed to hang out with their friends? And for Chuck’s sake, everyone can see that the twins especially the boy (idk their names, sorry) looks like JA’s twin. I mean come on people.

I believe that they hate D because she says how much she loves MC and that Cas is her favorite character and that they are also bitter that JA chose her and not them. Just my opinion, but what do I know. On JP and G. I don’t know much about them mostly because I do not follow either of them of IG or elsewhere but I have seen hate on G as well.

The antis have gone ahead to say that when JA said that he was hanging out with SC writing songs, that he was lying and that nothing was happening he was just trying to dampen the rumours. I wonder how they felt when the album by JA and Sc came out last year. Jokes on you haters. Bitches be crazy fr.

Oh, the antis also say that the same way JA looks at his wife is the same way he looks at MC. With contempt. I mean talk about hanging yourself with your own rope. What they are saying is, JA feels about his wife the same way he feels abouts MC. Aww! That is true love bitches.

If JA actually cannot stand MC, shouldn’t he have gotten him fired from the show or at least make sure he gets less screen time and that they don’t have any panels together being that JA is the star of the show and all. I mean Mark left and he was a major character to the plot so...

Also why would JA give and buy MC clothes if he hates him? Give him a ring, a bracelet? Huh? Explain it to me.

Oh, some anti also said that before every Cockles panel at JIBCON JA cries and has to be forced on stage by Daniella and JP has to give him a hug and that’s why he drinks a lot of apple juice. LOL. WTF? What do you say to such people. I cannot even..My question is, are we talking about the same Cockles panels that I have seen? Then JA deserves all the Oscars and Tony Awards for his impeccable acting skills when he is around MC. Must really hate him. *wink*

MY TWO CENTS ON COCKLES

I know JA gives off mixed actions about MC. But I think it is to confuse people like us, shippers. He does’t want to too out there so he tries so hard to be mean with his words. But his actions tell a different story. I mean, who gets a boner when their friend straddles them on stage and then goes ahead to post that chest to chest selfie on IG. That is the gayest thing I have ever seen.

Sharing clothes? I mean friends do share clothes but if it is like a daily thing. More than 20 articles of clothing exchanged between each other on various occasions even when they are apart does not make sense to me. And to make matters worse, JA does not deny it. One even had a tag on it. Lol. We are not children, we can see what is going on.

The 2014 DallasCon – Rob’s Birthday Party. WTF? Was all that between JA and MC? Why did he he swallow and react like that when he saw MC’s bare abdomen? Who does that? Also the looks when MC was leaving the stage. Come on.

Also what was up with the” I love you from the bottom of my heart” at the MTV top 10 in 2010.

The wife is my rock but I am glad to have some pebbles in my life.

Truth is, JA could post a video of him balls deep in MC and the antis could say that somehow MC manipulated JA to post it for PR.

People need to leave MC alone, he ie a human being who has made mistakes, JA and JP have too and I don’t see the antis hating on them. The double Standard s FOH.

I could write about this forever but the truth is JA loves MC, and D and V know that they love each other. All their friends know including JP and other castmates. I believe they know it is more than just friends and the antis can’t stand it because they also know it to be true.

JA LOVES MC. JP LOVES MC. J2M LOVE EACH OTHER. J2 LOVE THEIR WIVES. STOP THE HATE!!

I am not done but I am done for now. I could be here forever writing about this if I do not stop.

#destiel #cockles #cockles is real #cockles csi #stop the hate #antis are mean

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justcryingxx · 4 years

Text

Bryce’s stepsister pt. 4

- part 1 part 2 part 3

not my gif ^

summary: you’re Bryce Walker his new stepsister and you get welcomed to the world on liberty high as a junior.

A/N: i’ll recommend reading my other parts first, if there are any mistakes lmk, english isn’t my first language. i haven’t seen season 4 yet so i’m sorry if a character did something wrong or idk. stay healthy and ily!

words: 1356 (sorry it’s short and late, i was busy)

warnings: cursing, abuse

I finished my routine and smiled, I did it! the coach gave a thumbs up and Monty smiled as well. The crowd started to leave and only the team and the cheerleaders were still here.

“I’m so proud of you meg” Monty said while spinning me in the air. I smiled “and I’m proud of you, you deserve to be captain!” he put me back on the ground, I was about to say something when jeff started talking “hey lovebirds, we’re going to mine, u coming?” I nodded when Mont spoke up “we’ll come later; you guys can go already”

Jeff nodded and they then walked away, Monty pulled my arm and walked me to the parking lot. “where are you taking me?” I asked Monty while I sat down, “you’ll see” he smiled, and he started driving. I got a text from Bryce;

Bryce

Where are you?

I’m with Monty , we’ll head over to Jeff’s later.

Alright, text me when you’re coming

Will do, bye!

About ten minutes later Monty told you that we’re here, I saw old abandoned warehouses in front of me. we got out of the car, “what are we doing here?” I asked Monty while he took my hand and walked us inside of one of the warehouses. “I wanted to show you this place, I come here when I’m feeling sad or lonely or something” I looked around and slowly nodded while he continued, “none of the boys know this place, I brought you here because I want to let you in”

We were standing across each other, I was holding his hands and listening to what he was saying, “what do you mean Mont?” I asked. He continued, “I’m bad at letting people in, because of things that happened in the past. I really like you Meg, I just met you a few weeks ago but you’ve brought the best up in me. I wanted to show you this place so that you know where to find me when things get rough and I hide myself again” I smiled “thanks, I appreciate that you wanted to show me this place” I kissed him on his cheek.

Monty then gently kissed me, he stopped kissing and started talking, “I really like you Meg, I know that this might be too soon, but will you be my girlfriend? I want to have you beside me with whatever I’m doing, and I want to be there for you.” I smiled “I’d love to, but can we keep it a secret for a while? I want it to be ours and not let everyone’s opinions affect it.” He nodded “do we tell the boys or not?” I snorted “if we do that everyone will know within a day” he laughed “you’re right, we’ll keep it a secret for a while” I smiled, and we kissed. We then went to Jeff’s.

I texted Bryce and we arrived quickly after, luckily, they didn’t ask any questions about why Monty and I were later. The afternoon was really fun, we laughed and swum.

It was about a week later, liberty won the game last Friday, there hadn’t really happened anything on the party nor the last few days. It was Monday, I was supposed to go to Monty’s house after school but Jess asked me to hang out and she would’ve asked what I had planned if I said I couldn’t make it. Monty and I are doing good at keeping things a secret, he once pulled me into the janitor closet because he just had to kiss me because I looked incredibly hot, he had said. He’s been at my house when Bryce wasn’t there, and I went to his house as well.

Justin and I were in last period when Mr. Porter came in the classroom, “Mrs. Everly, can you come with me? there’s someone for you.” I looked confused, grabbed my stuff, and followed him.

“Hi nugget” I heard a male voice say, there’s only one person who calls me nugget: “Dad! What are you doing here?” I yelled while hugging him. “I moved back here, I missed you and Luke, plus I found an amazing woman who would’ve loved to meet you guys” he spoke excitedly, “I can’t wait to meet her! Does mom know?” I asked while we left the building. “yes, we’ve spoken about it and decided you’ll be at our place every Monday and Tuesday” I nodded, I loved it at mom’s and I didn’t know if I wanted to leave, but I finally could be with my father again. “soo who’s the woman? Daisy?” I nudged dad. He laughed “no that didn’t work out, Kiara” I snorted “player”.

We arrived at his house, it’s beautiful. I’d texted Monty on the way there what happened and why I wasn’t at school. I also texted jess that I couldn’t hang out because I was planning on getting stuff for my new room.

I had my new stuff arranged, I got my stuff at mom’s and I still hadn’t met his new girlfriend. She finally came back home when dad had just left to get groceries for the next day. It was about ten pm and I heard the door open, I walked towards the hallway and introduced myself “hi, I’m Megan, Larry’s daughter” I held my hand out in front of me expecting her to shake it,

“listen if you think you’re gonna have I good time here, you’re wrong. Larry’s going to be away for work most of the days and you’ll listen to me and do chores alright? You’re not going to take Larry away from me, and if you’ll ever disrespect me there will be consequences” she snapped. “you’re not my mother! If you can’t act decent towards me, you cant expect the same from me!” I shouted.

She grabbed my wrist firmly “you spoiled brat! You’re going to listen to me, and if you ever tell anyone about this, you’re dead!” she let go of my wrist and left the hallway, I looked at my wrist and saw blue/purple bruises starting to form. “an amazing woman” I citated my dad sarcastically.

It was a few months later. Kiara acted so innocent to me when dad was around but the bruises on my body says differently, when Luke was there last week he once saw/heard it, he stood up for me but she then beat him, I really hated it there but we couldn’t tell dad.

We were at mom’s; Bryce wasn’t home, and Luke had just left. Monty was over, I didn’t tell him about how horrible Kiara was, because to be honest she frightened me. we were making out and he just took my shirt of when I realized he’s gonna see my bruises, I quickly stood up and tried to reach for my shirt “Meg what’s wrong?” he started, when he grabbed my wrists and pulled me back “woah what’s that?”

he asked while pointing at my bruises, he looked at me concerned. “uhm I’m clumsy I walked against my door” I mumbled, while trying to kiss him again so he wouldn’t ask further. “seven times? Come on, tell me Meg, who did this to you?” he asked while standing up, stroking his hands across my body over the bruises. I stayed silent, looking at the floor. “Megan, talk to me” I heard his voice break, and I then looked at his face, I felt tears coming to my eyes and softly started crying.

“I- I can’t tell you”, he sat down beside me and lifted my chin “baby, I don’t want to see you like this, who did this” he asked again with anger lacing his voice. “K- Kiara” I mumbled, he stood up “for how long” he said while grabbing his stuff, “Monty where are you going?” I asked while quickly walking towards him blocking my door.

“how, long” he said. “since dad’s back” I said, “Mont don’t tell anybody, you can’t” I said a little louder then intended breaking down, I’m dead if he tells someone, he can’t do that.

#bryce's stepsister #byce walker #montgomery de la cruz #scott reed #Justin Foley #zach dempsey #sheri holland #jessica davis #13rw #13rw imagine #13rw monty

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