Tumgik
#idk. i am fucking tired i am sick and sad and angry thinking about how my wife got death threats from you people
Text
Living with her is such a weird limbo now I’ve decided to go no-contact when I move out, like I’m sad and annoyed all the time about her bs and her attitude and her gaslighting, but I also know there’s an end in sight so I don’t feel... anything about it at the same time.
Idk I’ve got all these weird feelings/non-feelings going on and I just want to reach that end date so I can get on with my life, I’m feeling very weird lately...
3 notes · View notes
levisonlylover · 7 months
Text
Nothing's new.
Inspired by the song
TW: Angst, Self-harm, Suicide, Fighting, mention of Death, Fem!reader x a bit ooc Levi
A/N: feeling angsty, might feel cute later. Probably making this a series
Part 1/2
Slanted words: Levi
Normal words: you
(idk how to describe it, ffs)
--------------------------------------------------------------
Nothing's new, that's what you would describe it. After every mission, You'd come home either dreaded, injured, or sick. You could see the dead comrades around you, it was tiring. You could just wish that it'd be you every time that someone dies, because you knew that you've served your purpose. Well that's what you thought, It's been years, nothing changed. You try to cope in healthy ways, but it always ends with a blade on your wrist, blood slowly dripping. You were either seen with bandages on your arms, the scouts tend to be worried about you, especially Levi. Levi never admits that you held some sentimental value to him, he thinks it was weak of him. One night, you had enough, You went to that one abandoned building outside the walls, you saw how beautiful the sky was.
"Wow..And here I thought I would never see such beauty."
You said as you exhale, You look at the sky then below the ground, the height was high, but with the amount of experience you had with the ODM gear says otherwise. You took off your gear and jacket and threw it on the ground, for some reason there were tears in your eyes.
"why am I crying? Isn't this what I wanted.."
You muttered under your breath. Before you could take that one leap of a step, you heard someone behind you.
"Stop! Don't you dare take another step..!"
It was a familiar voice.
"Y/N please..! Spare your life."
You looked behind you, it was Levi. Why was he here?
"let's talk, please. Just step off the ledge"
Why was he begging? You step off from the ledge and look at him, when you thought he was calm, you were wrong.
"Levi, why are you-"
Before you could finish your sentence, he instantly yelled
"what the hell..!? Why are you ending your life? Why are you hiding all this pain as if nothing happened!"
Your eyes widened up, you clenched your jaw trying to hold back the tears
"you don't understand Levi-"
"Cut the bullshit, Y/N. Why don't you open up to us? To..me?"
"Because it isn't easy! You know the times I have been used because I keep opening up?! Tell me, do you think you can easily trust somebody after knowing people can use the darkest shit to manipulate you?"
He was stunned, suddenly tears left your eyes. You were breaking down. You were angry, upset, in disbelief. God, Levi felt a sense of guilt and sadness. Almost breaking his cold facade.
"Nothings new, Levi. Everyday we face death, We never know when we will fucking die..or when our own comrades die."
Levi couldn't say anything. It was true, you were facing death everyday with your comrades, not knowing when your last day was.
"Y/N, that doesn't mean you would just let your life go."
After that cold night, Levi took you to his quarters, he may hate the feeling of having people over. But that night, you were an exception. He made some tea and let you open up to him, knowing that your words are safe from him. People keep saying Levi is a cold person, almost having no heart. But you could say the opposite.
"Just because life doesn't go your way. Doesn't mean there's another path waiting.."
"God that was corny, change it!"
You laugh, he lets out a chuckle. How will this end? Will you finally open up, or close off your heart once again till it piles up and pours out.
53 notes · View notes
saintetheldreda · 10 months
Text
makes me kind of sad when i see people romanticising season 1 dean and being nostalgic for him and missing that version of him honestly cause i hate the idea that survival is not the most beautiful thing in the world
like. i adore season 1 dean dont get me wrong and yes the playfulness and jokiness and innocence is charming but like. season 1 dean is cute but later season dean is STILL HERE despite everything how could anyone not find that infinitely more breathtaking. it's a kind of beauty that makes everything pale in comparison it's like comparing the picture you tried to take on your phone of the moon from a few weeks ago when it was bright and full and pretty to looking up into the sky and seeing a sliver of the real thing nothing can compare its the difference between a shitty pixelated dot in the sky and something that makes you want to cry and hope and believe in things i love angry and tired and messy and honest
im very much not trying to gatekeep here simping for season 1 dean is so ok i for one am simping for dean in all seasons HAHA but dean was beautiful in season 1 because he was being so fully himself all the time even when it was weirding everyone else the fuck out and he's still being honest and true in every season even when being himself looks like something a little different so i dont think he gets less beautiful at any point actually. believe me i have raged at him and cursed and wailed at my computer screen as much as the next person he is so frustrating and such an asshole sometimes but when the storm has passed and i think about it i can always really see where he was coming from his feelings are so sincere and i think that's so beautiful
also later season dean is still so fucking cute like honestly i think every part of his "original" identity that he hangs onto comes to mean so so much more even if there is less of it in quantity he STILL cares a stupid amount about his car his one-liners are STILL garbage and forced sometimes this man has been to (spoilers) and he still cares about these things thats so much more fucking adorable he STILL loves his brother even if he cant do it in the same naive way he once did the love is still there only now its more difficult thats so amazing and brave later season dean is an amazing brother i will not hear of how insufferably toxic he is just because love is hard work now hard work is beautiful hard work is so beautiful. still pie still rock music aliases still slipping the tiniest parts of who he is into everything he does, however much he can risk. this show was so so correct about losing everything you have and then holding onto whatever comes back within an inch of your life and loving it with all your heart that was so correct im hanging onto all of dean that came back with him from (spoilers) and i am so sick of innocence idk about you guys but im in love with that kind of beauty. down with puppy dog sensitive dean damaged shuffling walking dead monster dean supremacy plsssss he's everythinggggg
2 notes · View notes
sehodreamsthoughts · 3 months
Note
plsss pretty sure i read arbitrage n absolute chanyeol too🤭🤭 there was also a luhan x sehun fic i think where they worked together n i think there was cheating with jongin or smth but it was really good but never got finished😓😓😓😓
baby i have more thoughts about feeder!sungchan so bad but now i’m thinking about loser!yangyang god it’s hard being me😔 lmfaooo
who do u like most in ateez rn? i think i’ve said before my bias is wooyoung n then maybe mingi, i love them all a lot though like they’re all special to me<3 i think i saw u talking about wooyoung (saw ur gif reblog he’s soooo fine), hongjoong, mingi, and idk who u were referring to as the angry guy? jongho or san maybe? or seonghwa??
- 🥟 anon
Cheating with Kai... Damn I can't remember with all the stories I've read 😭
Loser yangyang loser yangyang 👀🗣️ I adore him so much I have a draft with him I never finished but it was so dirty 😭(and I'll tell you because I abandoned it too haha), it was about plus size reader fucking yangyang and enjoying it but keeping secret because he was a cinema student and he was pretty... Unique, like wearing thick hoodies in summer, longish hair, a loser in the max expression, and it was kind of sick because at the end of fucking he'd stay by your side until you fell asleep but when you woke up he'd always be in front of his computer watching porn 😭 and it was porn with skinny women so it made you sick fucking someone that watched such content, he'd always be like "it's for a project" but it was so fucked up that he always did it with you there that you always left and came back feeling guilty (he fucked you so good you'd come back) and then you got tired of him so you walked to him when he was doing it, and there you noticed that he wasn't really getting hard on it??? So you finally asked him why he was watching, and he said that he didn't really feel excited when he saw it most of the time, but then you choose the video, which was with a chubbier girl and he instantly popped a boner 😭 you found this so adorable you asked him "then why are you excited now?", to what he answered "because I'm not thinking about her... I'm thinking about you" and he was so pretty with his red cheeks and stuttering that you gave him a handjob while he watched the video, of course while he did it he had to say everything that went through his mind "I want to fuck you like that... You're way prettier than her, the prettiest girl... Fuck I love how your chest moves when you ride me like that"
I'm so sad that I abandoned that fic 😭
Hahaha I thought the angry man was Hongjoong but now that I know them more I see why you'd say Jongho or San 😭. I was referring to the leader because I saw him all angry at those awards telling the staff to do their job and protect the fans, I also saw a video of him saying to the maknae "do you know who I am? How could you not have called once?" And to woo "Would you like it if I forcefully touched you?" "Set the table" also he getting all fuzzy when fans ask him if they can like other idols 🥵, he has these daddy vibes that I always fall for 😵‍💫
0 notes
theantiproduct · 4 years
Text
▪︎
#had a chat with my parents about how SICK i am of the way tour government is handling covid#my dad's opinion is that it is what it is cant do anything about it so why even worry#ridhdkdbfh#i told him if i thought the same way i would have jumped out the window#i know i personally can't change anything but i have to hope that someone out there could#i cant say how tired i am of this nightmare i really cant#i lost EVERYTHING i have worked for and i can't build it up till this shit is over#but sure why shouldn't people go to fucking dubai in the middle of a pandemic#why shouldn't kids go to school and spread covid to their families#fuck every single person who doesn't give a shit who doesn't wear a mask#thankfully both my parents got the vaccine and i might be getting it soon too#I'm so tired#i don't think my family gets how hard this is for me like they think i like not seeing anyone not leaving the house not fucking breathing#I'm wasting away and it doesn't seem like things are gonna change anytime soon#feels like this might be it forever tbh#i know in a lot of ways I'm fortunate too since i have my parents and everyone is thankfully fine#im sorry if any of you are suffering and having to read my dumbass rants#i am thankful but I'm also so exhausted and drained and sad and lonely and angry#so angry#any New Zealanders looking for a sad gf? Australians maybe? idk#idk how much more of this i can take#this entire year made me rethink any other problems i ever had i miss those problems i miss worrying about not having friends#or whether my ex texted me or not#which btw happened and you know what i did absolutely nothing who the fuck cares#everything looks so small next to the year i had#at least other times i stayed at home cause i was depressed and not because of a pandemic#anyway I'm sad I'm sorry i hope the 2 people who read these are ok and surviving#imma go get high and cry about it#personal
4 notes · View notes
Note
Can I request HSP + depression reader (who thinks they are just weak and being crybaby) x Bucky, please? I understand you are super busy right now and I didn’t mean to rush you or anything but I'm just struggling with both HSP and depression and couldn’t help but send it right now. No need to hurry, just when you are free and maybe when you had nothing to write. Thank you and I love you!
Thank you for the request, I’m sorry it’s been a difficult time for you! I’m here if you need me and I hope that this helps!!! 
It’s called empathy
Bucky x reader
Word count: 1981
Warnings: depression, HSP (highly sensitive person), low self worth, negative self talk, swearing (that’s normal for me but this one’s a little extra), angst (more so internal idk if that needs a warning), fluff/comfort
Taglist: @buckys2thicc @babydaddy-buckybarnes @barnesplums @peggycarter-steverogers @mardema @abitgryffindorky @buckys-blue-eyes @strawberrimae @thatfangirl42 @freigeistundanderes @bucks-bunny @broadwaybabe18 @im-sick-of-failing
Taglist     Masterlist
--------------
Breathe in
Breathe out
In 
Out 
...in…
You felt a tear escape your eyes
Goddamn it
You didn’t want to cry, you couldn’t let yourself. It was stupid, it was just some shitty remark from someone when they were in a shitty mood, it wasn’t your fault, all that bullshit you tried to tell yourself. It never worked.
You were trying to control your breathing, looking up at the ceiling trying to will the tears away, biting your lip. You would not cry, not over this. Not over something that wasn’t worth your tears
Not when you didn’t even know what exactly you were crying over. 
Yet here you were, gripping the edge of the bathroom sink with white knuckles, looking up at the ceiling trying to keep the tears at bay. And it wasn’t working.
Weak sensitive piece of shit. 
What good were you to the team if you cry in the bathroom like a baby every time something remotely stressful happens? People usually cry when they're in pain or when they’re grieving - the only excuse you had was you were stressed or sad. 
You felt another few tears escape and you angrily swiped them away, cursing yourself for being so weak. 
You hated this, you hated yourself. You were so numb most of the time, especially when you were alone. You found yourself alone in your room with racing thoughts feeling like you were falling apart. Yet when you were alone you could only stare at the ceiling wondering if it would get any worse. 
The answer was usually yes.
Whenever you would go on missions with the team, you were able to push aside your stress. You had a job to do and you would do it. But when the mission was over and you were walking back through the rubble - seeing all the blood, destruction, fear - then it would start to get to you. You would panic, you would feel tears cloud your vision. Tears for those you were leaving behind, and those who had nowhere to go, those who lost someone. That was understandable. 
It seemed to affect you more than the others though. It was understandable to be moved by so much destruction. But for you everyone felt like someone you had known and loved. 
You could feel the grief in those left behind, feel the sadness and pain that they were going through. 
The same was true when you weren’t on missions. When those who were on them would come back. Whether they were injured or their eyes were saddened - you knew when a mission was rough. You would listen, you would be there for people. It was easy to talk to you, and you were very wise. 
But it still overwhelmed you. You couldn’t say no, you didn’t want to. You wanted to help but it would be so emotionally taxing for you. So behind closed doors, you would break. Be there for others, listen when they need to talk, others come first - you took their emotional pain onto yourself. 
You were grateful that you could help - but in the process it was hurting you. 
You allowed yourself to feel sad when you were alone in your room. No one could see you be weak in the dark of your room. But you never cried much just from the pure exhaustion of your thoughts. Sometimes you wanted to, just feeling so incredibly empty that you just wanted to have an ugly crying session curled up in bed.
But you didn’t get to make that choice.
The crying wouldn’t come until the absolute worst times. If you had messed up on a mission, if Tony said something a little too harshly because to him everything was a joke, seeing something gruesome on a mission- whenever it came to someone else getting involved, the tears would come. Hell sometimes even being overwhelmed in public would be enough to start the waterworks. 
You always felt so fucking weak for it. The slightest environmental stressor could stress you out too much and move you to tears. You had no reason to be upset most of the time. But you would get angry at yourself for being upset, which would make you more upset that you couldn’t control it, making it harder to control.
It was a vicious cycle.
Lately it had been popping up more and more recently. Smaller things were upsetting you more than usual. You were becoming more sensitive to external stimuli and as a result, you spent as much time as you could in your room. You were embarrassed by yourself. Both by your emotions and by your inability to control them. 
This time you were just upset that you were upset. It had been a long night the day prior, just a lot of paperwork to do. There had been a mission earlier this week that you hadn’t been assigned to, but it had been brutal for everyone who had gone. So far today had been a normal day by anyone’s terms, an emotionally exhausting one for you. One of those where you woke up tired and the thoughts of another day were enough to draw you to tears. Nothing had even happened, but apparently nothing needed to happen. 
Your emotions came and went without your consent. 
You knew deep down it was probably some sort of emotional build up - that whole quote about bottling things up until they got to be too much - it happened every time but you still thought you could handle yourself better than that. You didn’t want to vent or be a problem to anyone. But when you are the emotional support for most of the team and you haven’t been able to get enough sleep or take time for yourself - you didn’t have much of a say as to when the bottle overflows.
A few more tears fell and you slammed your hand on the counter, wiping your tears angrily once more. “God fucking damn it why can’t you just stop fucking crying!” you exclaimed, feeling a few more tears falling “Weak piece of shit!” 
There was knocking on the door, pulling you out of your self deprecating thoughts. You gasped lightly, wiping your face again. 
Knock knock
You jumped a little, gasping slightly. No one was supposed to be here, it was the middle of the night. 
“Y/n? What’s going on in there? Are you alright?”
You took a shaky breath. Of course it would be Bucky who heard you. Why would it be anyone else?
“I’m fine Bucky, it’s late, you should go to sleep.”
“Then why are you still awake?” Bucky responded. You heard him sigh a little outside the door. “Come out here and tell me you’re okay.”
“Really Bucky?”
“Unless you want me to come in there, but I don’t think Stark would appreciate me breaking your door.”
You took a small breath and walked over to the door, opening it. You crossed your arms and met Bucky’s concerned eyes. “I’m fine, Bucky.”
Bucky sighed, taking in your appearance. Red eyes, flushed face, your hair was messy - you were definitely crying. He hated when you wouldn’t admit that you weren’t ok. “You know you don’t have to be, right?”
You clenched your jaw, trying to keep fresh tears from clouding your vision. “What?”
“You say you’re fine, you always say that you’re fine until you break. I heard you crying, I can see that you’re not feeling okay yet still you try to keep a brave face. And I just want you to know that you don’t have to always be okay.”
You let out a breath. “I - i…” you looked down and shook your head, lost for words. 
“Y/n, I’m not here to judge you. Can you try to tell me what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know,” you said looking up at him “It’s literally so stupid, Bucky.”
“Y/n, nothing you say right now is going to sound stupid. 
You shrugged your shoulders, still not quite meeting his eyes. “I don’t know, I just get so worked up sometimes, but it’s stupid. I tell myself I’m not going to be bothered and then I freak out again. The smallest things bother me and I get stressed out and then I cry like some stupid weak bitch. People have it worse than me, God, you have it worse than me. Everyone here has some sort of traumatic awful thing happen to them and then there’s me and I get sad because I see other people sad,” you were crying again and you wiped at your face, covering your eyes. “God Im so fucking stupid I -”
Bucky pulled you into his chest as you let out a sob. “You’re not stupid, y/n.”
“YES I AM. I get worked up over the smallest shit, I don’t listen when people tell me to take breaks, I take everything too personally and I can’t stop fucking crying when I don’t even know what the fuck is wrong!” you exclaimed, trying to push yourself away, ashamed.
Bucky held you tightly, not letting you go. “That’s not your fault. It’s not up to you how your feelings show up.”
“But I cry at the most stupid shit and I can’t control it.”
“You’re not supposed to know how to control it,” he said, pulling back to look at you. “Emotions can’t be controlled. They just happen and it’s rarely convenient.”
“Then why do I feel so weak? If this,” you gestured to yourself “is so goddamn normal then why isn’t everyone else breaking down every other day?” 
Bucky brushed some hair out of your face. “Your emotions are yours, no one else’s. No one has the right to tell you how to feel. Think of it this way - you can’t expect everyone to have the same amount of strength or stamina - no one has the same emotional response either. And that doesn’t make you weak, it makes you you.”
You shook your head. “I just feel so weak all the time.” 
“And I’m here to remind you that crying isn’t weak. You are not a weak person, you are not a bad person, you’re not any of those things your mind tells you. You’re a kind and thoughtful person. You put your heart into everything you do. You help everyone you can. Mourning someone else’s loss isn’t weakness. It’s called empathy.”
You took a small breath. “Then why does it hurt so goddamn much?”
“”I don’t know. And I can’t say for certain that you won’t always feel that way. But I know I can tell you that you aren’t weak, and I’ll be here every time you feel that you are.” 
You nodded your head slightly. “You don’t think I’m weak?” you asked quietly.
He pulled you back into a hug. “Not in the slightest, y/n.”
283 notes · View notes
morosemagick · 3 years
Text
Listen, Before I Go | Finan x Reader One Shot
Welcome to my first one shot/first Reader!Fic.
Be gentle, I'm trash.
Warning: Major Character Death, (its sad, okay, idk what else to say.)
Words: 3847
Tagged:
@solinarimoon @lauwrite1225
Tumblr media
You had seen many things in your life as a traveling healer. Wounds and illnesses alike, taking you from place to place wherever people may need you. Taking care of people was in your blood. Both your parents were healers, and you planned on using all they taught you to care for people around the world. And yet, when you met Uhtred of Bebbanburg and his crew of accident-prone warriors in the aftermath of the battle at Tettenhall, something inside you told you to stay. A feeling in your heart, telling you that no one will ever need you more than they would. Over the months that passed, that feeling proved true. You healed every cut, bruise, and battle wound they would come to acquire. Each wound healed was a bond growing stronger with each man in Uhtred’s service, including your lord himself.
Osferth, the first of the Coccham boys you healed. His kindness was always warming to the heart. Sihtric, who spoke often of his wife and joked about his desire to return to her in one piece. And of course, Finan, whose laugh made your heart skip a beat and smile did things to you that was certainly ungodly. They were your family, and you loved them all dearly.
And you would do whatever it took to save their lives.
Especially now, when they needed you most.
“Sihtric!” You scream out at the sight of him, bloody and broken. The snow falls thick and heavy around you, stained red with the Danish man’s blood and Osferth and Finan work together to lift him from the ground.
“We got him, Y/N, just go!” Finan yells out, and you nod okay. The storm is picking up and though the raiders that ambushed you are dead, none of you are out of the woods yet.
Up ahead is a cave. It’s cold and dark but it’s dry, and getting Sihtric out of the storm is your main priority.
“This way, to the cave!” You call out as you lead the men forward, being sure to check for any unfriendly creatures that might be hiding out from the storm inside. When the coast is clear, you wave the others on.
As carefully as they can, Osferth and Finan lower Sihtric to the ground. The injured warrior groaned as he touched the ground, “We need to make a fire.” Finan tells the rest of you.
“Did anyone see Lord Uhtred?” Osferth questions, making you and Finan glance at each other.
You shake your head no, and then Finan looks back to Osferth, “He must be with Lady Aethelflaed.”
“Should we look for them-”
“We can’t,” Finan cuts him off, sighing, “We must stick together, make a fire, and take care of Sihtric.”
“I will tend to Sihtric,” You tell them, “Go get what you need for a fire but please stay close, this storm is only getting worse, and finding your way back might get harder.”
Finan nods okay, and the two men leave as you bend down to check up on Sihtric. He’s breathing heavy but he’s still alert so that has you at ease. Checking his wound on his side, it doesn’t seem bad but it will definitely need stitching. His skin, however, is freezing to the touch and that makes you nervous, “That bad?” Sihtric chuckles the best he can, his eyes looking so very tired.
“Not at all, you needed stitches. That’s all,” You tell him as you look through the pouch tied to your belt.
“You are a bad liar, Y/N,” He huffs, looking up to the ceiling of the cave, “Tell me, please.”
Biting your lip, you sigh and glance away, “You're freezing, you need fire or you may get sick.”
“I could have told you that,” He laughs but the motion makes his side hurt and his laughter turns to a wince.
“You must rest, Sihtric, please,” You tell him as you find your needle and thread, “Eahlswith will not forgive you if you do not make it home in one piece, remember?”
“Ealhswith,” He smiles slightly, and then grunts as you start to clean the wound, “I miss her.”
“And you will see her soon, I promise,” Glancing up, you can see fear in Sihtrics eyes, and it breaks your heart, “I swear it, Sihtric.”
He only nods, and you continue to care for him in silence.
------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------
Time has passed, and the fire has been made, but it’s small and just barely enough to keep you all comfortable so to make up for the lack of heat you all huddle close to each other. You are to Sihtric’s left, Finan is to yours, and Osferth is on the other side of Sihtric. Sihtric’s wound was cleaned well but he is still very cold and you’re trying your best not to show how worried you are. As you take a deep breath, you let out a shiver and it shakes your whole body.
Noticing how cold you are, Finan scoots closer and wraps his arms around yours and holding it tight, “You alright, Y/N?”
You glance momentarily at Sihtric, who's currently half awake with his head on your shoulder and his eyes on the fire ahead of them, and then look back at Finan, “I am.”
It’s a lie. You’re terrified.
Terrified of losing your friends, of dying to the cold, but mostly you’re terrified of not being able to keep the oath you made to Lord Uhtred and yourself to keep them all safe. It’s killing you inside.
Sihtric is shivering to your right, his cold body against yours sending chills down your spine.
“Alright there, Sihtric?” You ask him, though you know the answer. Instead of staying strong, you can feel him shake his head no. His fear brings a tear to your eyes, “It’ll be okay.”
“It will not,” Sihtric whispers, making everyone else suddenly alert to how beaten he’s feeling.
“It will be, Sihtric, we will get out of this mess like we have every other mess Uhtred has gotten us into,” Finan tries to joke in an attempt to keep everyone’s spirit up.
“Uhtred isn’t even here,” Sihtric tells him, his head still rested on your shoulder, “We might never see him again. I might not-”
“We are getting out of here,” Osferth adds, “God will see us through this.”
“He is not my God, Osferth, he does not care if I live or die,” Sihtric argues.
None of you have seen him so defeated before.
“Hey, hey, look at me,” You tell Sihtric as you turn your body to face him, forcing him to lift his head up. You can tell it’s a struggle for him to hold himself up, and it’s hard for you to keep a calm expression. You grab Sihtric by his face and put on your best smile, but your eyes are still watering and the wind outside has made it so unbearably cold; so at this point, you don’t know if you have it in your heart to lie to him. So you don’t, “I know you are cold, and you hurt, but I will do whatever it takes to make sure you get home to Coccham. To your wife, and to your son.”
Sihtric nods okay, but his eyes tell another story as he starts to cry.
Past his shoulder, you can see Osferth is also looking mighty defeated as his own eyes start to get red, and behind you, Finan’s hand has gripped your cloak and tight.
And then, to make matters worse, the fire dies.
“Fucking bastard fire!” Finan growls loudly as he kicks the still hot wood with his foot, making soot spread, “Fuck!” His scream echoes throughout the cave as he gets up and stomps around in anger, and you look away from Sihtric as you start to cry, biting your lip in hopes of keeping your fear to yourself.
On the tips of your fingers, you feel Sihtric’s tears falling down.
“Finan, sit... please,” Osferth calls out, and you can hear his voice cracking, “Being angry will solve nothing.”
Sihtrics’ crying has worsened, and now they can all hear him.
You pull him closer to you, cuddling him like a child in your arms, trying your best to keep him warm. His sobbing is enough to shake you both, but you keep your grip on him strong. Osferth scoots his body closer to Sihtrics, putting his arm around his brother, and to your left, you can hear Finan return to his seat. After a moment or two, you can feel his arms wrap around your waist and hold you tight.
At least if you die, it will be next to those you love the most.
The four of you sit this way in silence for some time, the only things you can hear are Sihtric crying and the strong snowy winds blowing outside the cave. You have never been a very religious person, but at that moment you find yourself praying to every god you can think of to save the ones you love.
A moment later you hear Sihtric sniffle, and shuffle a bit in your arms before he sighs and speaks, “Y/N?”
“Yes?”
“Can you sing for us?” He asks, and you nod yes.
If you can bring him comfort now, in what very well might be his final hours, you will do whatever he wishes.
“Take me to the rooftop. I wanna see the world when I stop breathing. Turning blue,” You rest your cheek on top of Sihtric’s head, and your eyes glance away as you continue, “Tell me, love is endless, don't be so pretentious. Leave me, like you do. If you need me, wanna see me, better hurry 'Cause I'm leaving soon,” There's sniffling in the air as you sing, you can hear Osferth shuffling, probably to get closer to Sihtric, and you can feel Finan’s arms grip you tighter. “Sorry, can't save me now. Sorry, I don't know how. Sorry, there's no way out but down, mm down.”
You move your left hand down to where Finan is holding you tight, and he moves to grab it, squeezing it as best he can. His hand is lacking a glove, and yet you can feel his warmth.
You hold on to that feeling as you continue singing, “Taste me, the salty tears on my cheek. That's what a year-long headache does to you. I'm not okay, I feel so scattered, don't say I'm all that matters. Leave me. Deja vu. If you need me, wanna see me, you better hurry. I'm leaving soon,” Finan’s head is on your shoulder, you can feel his breath on your neck. It makes you think of all the times you should’ve kissed him. You should have told him. Probably too late for that now, though, “Sorry, can't save me now. Sorry, I don't know how. Sorry, there's no way out, but down, mm down. Write my friends and tell them that I love them. And I'll miss them... but I'm not sorry. Write my friends and tell them that I love them, and I'll miss them…”
Sorry.
------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------
The men have been asleep for some now, but you’re still awake. You have been staring at Sihtric all night, watching his chest rise and fall. Making sure his chest still rises and falls. A couple of times you’ve even put your fingers to his lips to make certain that he’s still breathing. Anything to make sure he’ll survive through the night. On the other side of him, Osferth is sound asleep, you can hear the man snore just slightly, and see him cuddled against Sihtric’s side.
The inside of this cave is freezing but you know it’s better than being out in the storm.
“Y/N?” You hear Finan whisper, “Are you up?”
“I am,” You whisper back, your fingers hovering just above Sihtric’s lips. Still breathing, good. You roll over slowly to not wake him, and when you are facing Finan, you sigh, “He is still alive, thank God.”
“Do you think he’ll make it?” Finan asks quietly, his eyes a red mess.
You shrug, not wanting to lie right now, “I do not know, Finan,” You shake your head, and the tears are building in your eyes again and your next words barely make it out, “I fear the worst.”
The tears fall down your cheeks and you try your best to not cry too loudly because you fear waking them more than you do crying in front of the man who’s stolen your heart. Finan reaches out to hold you by your cheeks and you can feel how warm he is still, it’s not much but enough to feel wonderful against your cold face as you cry. He shuffles his body closer to you, and you can feel his breath on your face as you open your eyes.
You don’t want to die without him knowing how he makes you feel. How he makes your heart flutter. How he fills you with so much life.
How loved he makes you feel.
“Finan- I need to tell you something,” You get yourself ready to say the words, but he stops you with his finger on your lips.
“Tell me in the morning, Y/N,” He’s smiling, but his eyes are red and full of tears.
“But what if we don’t make it to morning?” Your voice cracks, and instead of answering Finan leans in and kisses you. It’s warm and delicious, and you want to kick yourself that it’s only happening now when you might not live to see another day because your body is cold but kissing Finan now fills your soul with so much warmth.
Perhaps this wouldn’t be a terrible way to die.
The two of you stay like that for a while, and you're trying your best to etch every inch of him into your mind as he pulls you in closer by the way to deepen the kiss. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted. It’s like coming home, and when you finally break apart the content smile on his face says he feels the same.
Finan leans back in, kissing your face over and over again. Making sure to kiss away all the tears that have stained your cheeks and then finding his way to your neck, “If I didn’t fear waking them, I’d pull my cock from my trousers and warm you with that.”
You try to bite your lip to contain your laughter, but a snicker comes out anyway, “I’m sure that is that last thing either of them would like to see now.”
“Aye, but what a sight it would be,” He smirks, leaning in for another kiss, “But If I’m going to bed you, Y/N, it will be properly I swear it.”
“I will hold you to that,” You tell him with another kiss, and as you move to separate you can see the expression on his face shift and the mood become more somber, "We should try to sleep. We need our energy."
"You sleep, I'll keep watch," Finan tells you, kissing your forehead.
"Nothing is going to hurt us here but the cold," You try to tell him, "Please try to sleep, Finan."
"I will, Y/N, let me just hold you for a while," Finan nods for you to turn around and you comply, and a moment later his arms are around your waist again and he's kissing behind your ear. Then, barely a whisper and more like wind, you can hear him say something in your ear, "Tá grá agam duit."
It's the last thing you hear before you fall asleep.
------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------
You wake from your sleep in a cold sweat, your heart racing as you rise quickly from the ground. The first thing you do is turn your body to your right to check on Sihtric, and to your surprise you find him sitting up and wide awake.
It brings tears to your eyes.
"Oh thank God," You can't help but say at the sight of him.
Sihtric smiles slightly. He looks tired, but he's alive and that's all the matters, "Good morning, Y/N."
"How are you feeling?" You ask as you lean over to put the back of your hand on his forehead. He's warmer than he was last night, which is a good sign, "Warmer? Is your wound okay?"
"Looks like you did it again, Y/N," Osferth calls out as he enters the cave with firewood in his hand, "Told you you’d be okay." Osferth drops the wood where the original fire once sat and then walks over to Sihtric and ruffles his hair, "Lord Uhtred will be pleased."
You chuckle, wiping your face of tears, and then suddenly you remember last night and Finan.
With a smile still on your face you turn to your left, where you can see his body still lying there, "Finan, it's morning-" the moment you put your hand on him your smile fades and your heart drops as you notice something very important. His fur cloak isn't on his body, but on yours and Finan is cold, "Finan?" You shake his shoulder as you call his name, the frantic sound of your voice getting the other’s attention, "Finan!"
Osferth rushes to your side just as you turn him on his back, and you place your fingers to his lips and can barely feel a thing. Osferth, however, has his hand on Finan’s forehead, "He's burning up."
"I cannot feel his breath," You tell Osferth as the tears hit you quick, and your breathing is all over the place, "Finan, come on, please-" you start to pump at his chest to get his heart moving, breathing into his mouth to help him get air. You do both this over and over again, trying not to let the sobbing stop you, "Come on, Finan, please!"
"Y/N?" You can hear Sihtric's voice question you from where he sits, the sound of fear clear.
You keep going, refusing to give up on him. Thinking about the other night.
You still haven't told him-
"Y/N," Osferth calls to you, but you do not stop, "Y/N," He tries pulling you away, but you keep going, and going, but now Osferth is pulling a little harder, "Y/N, please-"
And just as Osferth is about to tell you to stop, Finan starts to gasp for air and your heart can beat again, "God, thank you," you cry as you pull Finan close to you, taking off the cloak he gave you in the night and putting it back around his body. He's breathing lightly, but he's breathing so that's good enough for now, "You're okay, Finan, you're okay." He lifts his hand up to grab yours and you place a kiss on the top of his head.
“It seems your God is with us, Osferth,” Sihtric chuckles from behind them, making you and Osferth look back at him with a smile.
“We need to get out of this cave,” Osferth smiles, patting your shoulder as he rises to his feet.
“Why, when you’ve seemed to have made it home?” The voice from behind you has you all turning heads, a shocked and pleased look on your faces when you see Lord Uhtred has found you, “Y/N, what have you done to my men? They look awful.”
You laugh in relief at the sight of him. It seems all the Gods have heard your prayer.
------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------
You all get home to Coccham in one piece, and you’ve never been happier to see your little home in your whole life. They leave Finan with you so you can watch him recover, and you do not mind giving the Irishman your bed. It’ll take him a few days to heal, and after everything that has happened, you’d prefer to keep a close watch on him. Sihtric and Ealhswith stop by to visit, partially so you check on Sihtric and partially so Ealthswith can thank you with meals for bringing her husband home.
Osferth and Lord Uhtred stop by as well. Finan isn’t always awake so they usually sit by his side for a while. Osferth prays and you think Uhtred might too.
You are cooking dinner one evening when you hear movement in your bedroom, and the sound of something falling over. You immediately rush to the other room to find that Finan is trying to sit up, and has knocked a cup of water to the floor.
“What do you think you're doing?” You giggle as he leans back down, feeling grateful to see him awake.
“If you wanted me in your bed, Y/N, you only needed to ask,” Finan jokes as you walk closer to him, sitting at the edge of the bed, “What happened?”
“You’re a fool, that’s what happened,” You tell him as you put your hand to his forehead and he is no longer burning, which is good, “You had a fever, almost froze to death,” Your smile fades as you take a deep breath, “I thought I lost you for a moment…”
“A fever?” He questioned, looking generally lost, “I don’t remember a fever,” He reaches out and takes your hand, gently rubbing your knuckles, “But I do remember some things. You were going to tell me something, were you not?”
You smile and lean down to kiss his forehead, “I’ll tell you when you're out of this bed.”
Finan laughs, using his other hand to reach out and hold you close from your neck, “Will you now?”
“You have promises you have to make good on first,” Your smirk as you lean in closer.
“Oh and I plan on making good of them, Y/N,” Finan tells you in a low voice that makes you squirm.
You chuckle as you lean in even closer, “God is good.”
“Aye,” He smirks as he hovers over your lips, “Praise him.”
Oh, you do. You thank him later that night in bed as you ride him and Finan makes good on his promise to warm you. A bed that Finan ends up never leaving and now you share together. You praise him on your wedding day, and multiple times on your wedding night. You praise him a few months later when you find yourself pregnant with your firstborn, and again when you give birth to your first son. You thank God for every child you have after, and every moment with this family of yours; made and found, that you decided to stay in Coccham and make it your home.
You thank God, all the Gods, for every moment they bless you with.
Even once your husband passes on.
And one day, when you're old, tired, and lying in the grass surrounded by the ones you love most you thank him one last time; before you go, for blessing you with such a life.
Grateful to go out under the heat sun, taking in the world one last time.
135 notes · View notes
Text
I'm gonna vent so you should keep scrolling!!
okay so I'm using tumblr as twitter(i guess?? idk how ur suposed to use tumblr)bc most of my friends follow me on twitter and I don't really want to talk to them rn, or to my parents and my next therapy session is week away so I'll either write it down here or scream(then I'd have to talk to my family), and here we are lol. I've been feeling like shit lately, like, not in the previous weeks but since the year started. I've had some happy moments, sure, but I end up back to the bottom. It's not depression or anything I just feel... tired and lazy?? I used to study a lot and by that I mean A LOT like, 7 hour a day last december but this year I increasingly got worse. It's my last year of high school rn, aka the hardest one, and I can't manage to do the bare minimum. My main theorie of what changed is that I didn't enjoy my summer break bc I there was this really important exam in february that I was studying to(summer breaks in brazil are in december-januray btw) and after I'd done it I couldn't rest properly because of school and stuff. I've been thinking that I'd get that productivity back tomorrow or next week or next month BUT I DON'T!! time passes and I keep being a lazy bitch who can't study properly if my life depended on it. And I'm fucking tired of being tired because I haven't reaaly done anything to be tired for god's sake!! I can't just take a fucking break rn and try to get back later bc I'd just end up worse. I used to be sad about it but now I've got this test on monday about ELEVEN FUCKING SUBJECTS and I can't study properly, and don't even get me started on the other 5 subjects I have to learn until wednesday. I got sick last week btw, forced rest isn't really resting and I now I feel even worse bc I lost all my workout pace and aaaaaaaaaaa. I don't want to bother my frienda with my feelings anymore bc I don't feel confortamble aaaand I know they're stupid but damn this isn't sadness, it's fucking anger!! I'm angry at myself, my school, my family and my fucking classmates who refuse to shut up for more than 5 seconds. Everyone seems to think I'm this perfect little nerd who does all her schoolwork and study for hours on end but that's far from the truth now lmao. Oh and there's the fact that I suck at everything I do besides school(and I just don't suck at this too bc my hs is a mediocre one) and I'm ugly and fat so if I can't study what am I?? And don't evem get me started on how I've been trying to fix my relationship with food while all this is happening and oh my fucking god I wish I could dive into fantasy books and day in order to predent I don't fucking exist and neither does any of this shit. Even my little moments of happiness turn into bad feelings. Watching heartstopper?? I'm gonna die alone. Playing videogames?? I wish I was as jacked as this viking. Reading the high fantasy bs that I love?? People are smart and strong and beautiful but I'm everything but that.
I'm just so fucking tired
3 notes · View notes
catzula · 4 years
Text
Confessions.
A\N: is this self-indulgent? Yes, yes it is. And did I cry writing this? Positive. Okay, the thing is, this is something I've been wanting to publish for so long, but I didn't have the courage to do so. But recently, I told someone about the whole ordeal and the reaction I got was so different than I expected, so I thought why not write this? Even if one person sees it and relates, or maybe even encourages them to talk to anyone about it, (even if you don't have anybody please I beg you come to me I'll always listen to anything you want to say), I would be so happy. Please don't think this is because I'm trying to get sympathy points, it's not. I don't want anything like that, just to actually help anyone who was in my situation. This fic (rant more like it) isn't fully based on my situation, mine is different, but I didn't feel comfortable talking about that, oh and this isn't edited, I didn't really want to read it over and over again so idk. So, anyway, I'll be posting one of the requests today too, it's fluff yay and my first aizawa attempt, so... Yeah. A/n is longer than the fic itself, seems like it.
Warnings: delicate subject, mentions of sexual harrasment, reader isn't in a good mental state, guys if it's triggering don't read it please I have no idea if there's any other things that could be triggering
Genre: angst, some fluff in the end
Pairing: bakugou x reader
W.c: 1,6k
You felt weak.
You have never felt this weak before, so helpless and unsafe.
You felt like you weren't supposed to talk about this with anyone. It was like if you told anyone, they would shame you, like they wouldn't believe you, or maybe even tell you it was your fault.
It didn't make any sense, why would anyone think that your logical part asked. But your insecurities wouldn't let you tell anything to anyone, making you feel sick when you tried to even hint it.
So you decided it was the best not to say anything, hide it forever even. Though you thought that was for the best for everyone, it was the hardest thing you probably ever did.
Your friends were aware of how jumpy you were late, how whenever someone touched you for anything, or even brushed you slightly, you froze with fear. But when they asked about it, you would brush it off as nothing.
They noticed how moody you were too, how frustrated you were with everything, crying, or getting mad at random, small things.
How you distanced yourself from people, hid for them, isolating yourself.
It was hard for them to see you like this -you were trying your hardest to smile and laugh like you always did, but they could see how much it hurt you to pretend- but it was especially hard for one certain angry boy. Bakugou was going insane, not knowing what was hurting you so and not being able to do anything about it.
Though he could never admit it, he had a crush on you. The worst kind, at that, or so he thought. He didn't like this feeling, of liking someone so much that you were constantly on his mind, his mood changing according to yours, laughing when you laughed, getting furious when you cried.
And lately, it was killing him. He knew you had feelings for him too, he knew how much you tried to look happy when he was around but it was just hurting you and that was even worse.
It was only until that one day he heard your soft voice, trembling with sadness as you explained what was going on to your best friend, Kirishima.
He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but it was impossible for him to just leave when you were crying so.
"I'm sorry." You told Kirishima between your tears. "I'm so sorry."
***
You knew you had to tell him some time. You just hoped it would be later. But there was no running away when Kirishima pulled you to the roof, making you sit and waiting for you to speak.
"You have to tell me." He told you as you squirmed to get away. "I need you to speak to me, Yn. I need to know so I can help you, you're my best friend and I can't keep pretending nothings going on."
"I can't either." You answered, whispering without even noticing.
"I can't lie anymore, I'm tired." You sighed and hid your face in your hands. "Eiji, you have to promise me you'll listen to me until the end, and don't do anything I tell you not to do."
"Of course." He promised.
"This is about my professor." You finally admitted.
"The one you get along very well with?" He asked cautiously, afraid that wrong words were going to make you stop.
"Uh, yeah." You answered with a dry, humorless chuckle. "Apparently, we weren't getting along for the right reasons." At this, his head snapped up, his eyes locked with yours. "What?!"
"He-he tries to touch me." You mumbled in your hands. "Y/N, what the fuck does that mean?" He tried to stay calm, but how could someone stay calm over that?
Your insecurities infecting you, you felt like he was questioning you, not believing you and you swallowed hardly. "You know what? I-it's really not that important, I exaggerated." You told him, feeling uneasy all of a sudden. But he wasn't having it. He scooted near you, taking your hand in his. "No, Y/N, we have to talk about this! What do you mean by- by trying to touch you?" Your heart hammering in your chest you decided to rip the band-aid off.
"He touches me." You repeated, a lump in your throat, not allowing you to speak more than a whisper. "And he always has that- that smile... that smile that shows he knows what he's doing, and he knows how weak I am, how I can never do anything about it." You went on, feeling the hot tears tumbling down your cheeks. You shuddered with the unwanted memories.
"Did he-" Kirishima stopped talking, wide eyes watching you. "Did he ever..." Although he couldn't finish his sentence, you knew what he meant. "No." You told him. "He never went all the way, it's more like he's toying with me."
"How did this happen?" He asked, words so silent, you almost didn't hear them. 
You shrugged. "It started small." Your voice faltering with tears. "At first I thought it wasn't on purpose." You told him as you relived the memories. "His hand sometimes brushed my breasts and my skirt... He would also press his body against mine when he was walking in the hallways..."
Oh my God, this was terrible. Just talking about it made you feel so weak. Why couldn't you just say something, do anything? Why did you always freeze with fear instead of fighting? Maybe some people just didn't have it. Did this make you unworthy?
"Then it just started to get worse. He would full-on grab me when he 'helped' me with my questions, would always come so- so close to me that I could feel him. He started to corner me, made me stay after class, and just always tried to catch me alone." 
"Oh my God," Kirishima mumbled, unable to say anything else. "Why didn't you say anything?" 
Yes. Why didn't you? 
"I was scared." You whispered. "I was scared of- of you thinking I was lying, that I was saying this for attention, that I was exaggerating, that this wasn't important that this was my fault."
Was it your fault? Maybe you could have worn pants instead of skirts. Or maybe you smiled at him too much, did you give him the wrong impressions? Was it really your fault?
His head snapped up, angrier than you had ever seen him. "How could you think all that?" He asked voice laced with anger. "He is a... a well-loved person, Eijirou. Everybody likes him, trusts him and he just looks so nice... Why would anyone believe me when-" You stopped talking when he hugged you once again, tighter than ever before. "I would always believe you."
I would always believe you. Words you longed to hear so damn much, making you cry uncontrollably.
"I feel so weak, Eiji." You said once again, the nickname you had given him falling off your lips for the first time in a while. "I can't even say anything to him... I'm weak... I'm afraid of people judging me, and I just can't feel safe anymore. I can't even trust myself." 
"I'm so sorry." He told you between the sniffs he was trying to hide, you thought it was ironic that he was the one apologizing. "I'm so sorry Y/N." 
Both of you weren't aware of the angry boy listening to you, shaking with anger and sadness. He couldn't believe there was someone out there making you feel like this when he himself couldn't even dare to tell you his feelings, let alone touch you.
***
"Where are you taking me?" You asked at the boy tugging at your wrists, pulling you somewhere.
Bakugou came to your door the next day he heard your conversation with Kirishima, a plan in his mind to help you, at least a little bit.
"Okay, we're here." He told you. He had brought you on a small field, surrounded by trees and flowers, an empty space in the middle. Your heart beat fastened in your chest, but how could it not when he looked this way to you?
"I will teach you self defense." He told you.
"What?" Wasn't that a little too random? "You heard me." He answered gruffly. "I'll teach you how to defend yourself."
"I- I mean- thank you!" You said, laughing a little. "But I don't understand..."
Oh no.
"Why?" You wanted- needed his answer to be something, anything other than what you had in mind. But it was obvious that it wasn't, when he stayed quiet.
"You heard us." You whispered, hand trembling with fear. The boy you liked, the one you had the biggest crush on, had heard how pathetic you were, how you didn't even have the courage to speak, to push this man's hand and confront him.
"No-" you choked. "It's not what you think." You said as you thought about what you could say, but your mind went blank when his hand caressed your cheek. "Don't." He told you. "Don't lie to me, you don't need to. You don't have to talk about it either, but I'll be here, always here for you to speak, to seek help, and now I will teach you self defense. You said you didn't feel safe, you felt weak. I'll be your safe place if you need me to, but I want you to feel safe yourself too."
You opened your mouth to say something but he didn't let you.
"Look, this isn't because I'm pitying you, or because I think you're not capable of defending yourself. I just- I want to help you, be with you, and this is the only thing I can do."
"Thank you." You whispered and without giving any warnings, you wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. "You have no idea how much this helps."
A long silence went between you, allowing you to ask that one question.
"But why are you doing all this for me, Bakugou?"
He pulled back with your question, though so slightly that your noses almost touched each other. "It's because-" he stopped, fear clawing in him. What if you didn't feel the same way? He knew you did, but what if you didn't?
He gulped and took a deep breath. You have been acting so brave for the longest time, he couldn't even understand what you had went through- even though you couldn't see how brave you were yourself. So he decided it was his turn to be brave now.
"It's because I'm in love with you." Your breath stuck in you, eyes wide but a smile of relief on your lips. "Bakugou..." You whispered as he leaned in a little more.
"I love you too."
287 notes · View notes
chans-baby-girl · 3 years
Text
You’ll always have me!
Tumblr media
Pairing: Felix x (Gender Neutral) Reader
Description: Fighting with your dad was regular thing but today he crossed a certain line and you need only person to cheer you up and one person only.
Word Count: 2.5k
Warnings: Verbals and Physical abuse (Slapping), bad parental relationships (father),mature language, established relationships, angst, fluff, mentions of depression but not explicitly stated.
~
“Don’t come back then!”
You wish you didn’t have to…you really did but sometimes things don’t work out the way you want them to. That’s what runs in your mind as you run out the door with your dog Kookies in tow. He looks at you and licks your face making you tear up with guilt for wanting to resent him a few minutes ago. He did start this after-all but he didn’t even know any better so it wasn’t like you could blame him.
“I just cleaned up his piss…”, your dad spat motioning to the now yellow stained wipe in his hand. “Next time you pick up after your own damn dog….What can’t hear or something?”
You barely heard half of that after removing your headphones that your dad didn’t notice you were wearing. But he had been with this sour mood all day so you were just offended?
“Who are you talking to?”, you reply seemingly forgetting you and him were the only ones in the room.
“So you think you’re being smart with me?” He walks closer to your bed anger lacing his tone.
“No I just don’t understand why you are taking it out on me I was in the bathroom you could’ve waited for me to finish and I would’ve cleaned it. So I’m just angry you are giving me attitude for something so childis-“ *SLAP*
“DON’T FUCKING TALK TO ME LIKE THAT YOU LITTLE SHIT IM YOUR DA-“
“WHAT SO JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE MY DAD YOU THINK YOU CAN PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME? DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER? STRONGER? HUH NOW THAT YOU HIT YOUR KID OH YOU ARE SO FUCKING TOUGH HUH? YOU FORGET IM A GROWN ADULT SO JUST LEAVE MY DOG ALONE THEN SINCE YOU DON’T LIKE MY DOG SO MUCH.”
You were so livid you couldn’t even see straight. Your vision began blurring, you started seeing red, and your ears even began ringing and you couldn’t even stop the words flowing out of your mouth. You were so sick and tired of how he treated you and him hitting you was crossing the line.
“ I DON’T WANT THAT DOG”
“I DON’T WANT YOU AND HERE WE ARE.”
“STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT.”
“CAN’T HEAR YOU I HAVE HEADPHONES ON.”
You never shoved your AirPods in your ears faster hitting play and turning up the volume until you felt your phone fly out of your hand.
“FUCK THAT DOG I WANT IT GONE OK?”
“SAME TO YOU I HATE YOU!”
“FINE WITH ME UNGRATEFUL ASS ALL YOU DO IS FIGHT WITH ME I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU! I FEED YOU LET YOU SEE YOUR BOYFRIEND I DONT HAVE TO DO ANY OF THAT.”
“I DON’T WANT ANYTHING FROM YOU THEN IF YOU ARE JUST GONNA GET LIKE THIS EVERY TIME AND YOU KNOW I HAVE MY OWN JOB SO STOP.” You swear your voice is going to give out and you tap your face and feel all the tears you didn’t even know were flowing. You felt hurt,angry, sad, until you just felt numb.
You ran and grabbed your dog and left with those last words echoing in your head.
“Don’t come back then!”
But you knew that it would be ok because you were almost there. You wished you could’ve let him know you were coming but your phone was back at your house. Soon enough you knock on an all too familiar door. You wipe your tears but you know you are probably going to cry again so it’s pointless to hide it. Kookies wags his tail in anticipation but the door never opens.
“Shit…is he not home?…”, you walk to his driveway and spot his parked car.
“…maybe he went to bed ….fuck fuck fuck….what do I do…what do we do?…”, you looked to Kookies who tilted his head in confusion and barked possessively.
You fought back tears until you choked on a sob and just cried loudly. It was uncontrollable at this point all the events leading up to this very moment have taken a toll and quite frankly it wasn’t something you wanted to deal with. You stepped away from the door and started walking towards the sidewalk. You didn’t know where else to go and you sure as hell didn’t wanna go home but you had no other choice.
You sobbed and started your walk home. Kookies whimpered at your sobbing features and licked your face in an attempt to soothe you but sadly, his efforts were futile. You barely made it 15 feet away from the house when Kookies began barking loudly. You pet him and told him that it was okay but he managed to wiggle his way out of his your grasp and ran towards the house once again.
“Kookies come back we have to go!”’ You cried as you reluctantly raced after him. He stopped at the door and sat there expectantly making you look at him in confused.
The door abruptly opened and there stood your boyfriend Felix clad in a oversized shirt that stuck to his seemingly damp frame with sweats underneath. His blond hair was tied back in a hair tie and it looked pretty frizzy. ‘Did he just…shower?’
You felt a bit dumb thinking he was asleep you kept your head down and didn’t say anything. Felix however studied your sad and exhausted appearance and put two and two together. This wasn’t the first time you’ve escaped to his house and in the 7 years he has been with you he knows the issue. He can still remember your broken face the first time you came over.
It was sophomore year and your dad had just yelled at you for not being home on time even though you told him that the city bus broke down and you had no other way home. He berated you and made you feel like it was all your fault so you ran to your boyfriends house for the first time. You were thankful he lived so close to you. He was shocked to see you appear unannounced at his doorstep and you had only been with him for a few months. Even then you never really told him what was going on in fear he would laugh too. It was far from what you expected though, he went out to get you snacks and made sure to make you comfy before wrapping you in his arms. He put on a movie and sat there without saying a word. He didn’t want to push you and waited for you to come out with it on your own. You did sure enough, and from then on it became a routine. His home became your home. He became your home.
Felix sighed before opening the door allowing you to step in. You put Kookies down and he went immediately to Felix, who happily let the dog jump in his arms and took him to his backyard before closing the door allowing Kookies to play with the toys Felix had out. You made your way to the couch that resides in the living room and sat on it without saying a word. Felix makes his way back to the living room and sat next to you. He opened his arms allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder. He placed his hands on your sides and gave you a reassuring squeeze.
You looked up at him with an unreadable expression and he just smiled softly at you because he just wanted you to feel safe. You broke down you couldn’t take it anymore you just let yourself cry and you let yourself be vulnerable around him. You knew that he was there even when your dad was going to be the worst Felix would always be the best. You eventually calmed down and Felix rocked you back and forth rubbing small circles to your back until you stop crying. It was silent for a few minutes more until you decided to speak: “He told me not to come back…even tho I know he said it because he was mad it hurt more than it should’ve…and idk Lix I just idk if I can t-take it anymore I’m so tired and exhausted.”, tears formed in your eyes and you pressed your head to his chest.
“I mean I said stupid shit to him too if I’m going to be fair so I am at fault for pissing him of-“
“YOU’RE at fault? YOU that’s ridiculous and fair????baby please don’t cover for him. Don’t defend him and don’t try to make yourself feel guilty that is what he is good at. Don’t do that to yourself love. It is not your fault and he has put you through hurt and suffering since before we even got together and you know it. His actions are inexcusable at this point and I am done sitting here and not being able to do anything about it. He said he doesn’t want you back and whether he means it or not you are staying with me. You know I have more than enough money for us and we can make this work. I promise love.”, he grabbed your hands and stared in your eyes and told you he loved you. You couldn’t help but get lost in his beautiful eyes and you couldn’t help but glance at his adorable freckles. You leaned in and pressed kisses to them which made him smile. You leaned I to him resting your head in the crook of his neck before replying with an ok.
“Hold that thought love ima go get Kookies since it’s darker outside now!” He gets up to go to the backyard only to return moments later with your furry companion.
“Anyways sweetheart I am so happy to hear that you wanna stay with me. Love I promise I’m going to take care of you here. Well you and Kookies how could I not he is so adorable and we both know he loves me more!”, he proclaims loudly puffing out his chest and donning one of his cheeky grins.
You scoff and roll your eyes.
“He does not”
“Does too”
“DOES NOT”
“DOES TOO”
“WHO DO YOU THINK GAVE BIRTH TO HIM!”
Felix bursts into laughter and squeals “NOT YOU!”
“HOW DARE YOU DO YOU EVEN VSCO?”, you shriek back and you’ve long forgotten what your dad even did.
Felix gets up and grabs Kookies,” You love me more right…give me a little kiss if you do!”
“HOW DARE YOU ASK HI-“
“SHHHH HE IS THINKING”, he replies causing you to stare at Kookies who has his head tilted. It took him a few moments to finally lick Felix’s cheek causing him to erupt in cheers while you in contrast feigned a hurt expression.
“Kookies how could you…don’t you remember where you came from!”, you fake cried. You and Felix both looked at each other and burst into a fit of giggles. Felix sat back down placing Kookies on the floor and hugged you tight. You sat in a comfortable silence until you spoke up.
“You know I still have to tell my dad I’m moving out?”
“Yes I do but I will be there with you ok love?”
“Yeah but I know he isn’t going to like me moving out on a whim I’m just a bit scared you know and I still have to get all of my stuff it’s just gonna be a mess.” You let out a heavy sigh and let your head fall in your hands. Felix shifts so you are in between his legs and starts to massage your back letting you relax in his hold. You always enjoyed his tender and relaxing massages from his tiny hands that worked wonders.
“I know things are going to go down but we need to get it done now or he is always going to do this to you and by staying you are just giving him that. I promise ima make it ok just trust me love.”
You nod with a smile and embrace him while kissing all over his face letting your hands roam to his sides to tickle him. He begins laughing uncontrollably squirming with tears forming in his eyes.
“YA STOP STOOOOOOP PLEASE”,he cries out pleading for mercy.
You smile widely letting your grin spread from ear to ear and mischievously reply,”Only if you make me brownies please please please.”
“YES YES OF COURSEEEEE PLEASE STAWWWWP.”
You smile with satisfaction and release him jumping up from the couch and start jumping up and down.
“My hero!”, you reply with a layer of sarcasm to which Felix merely smiled at before grabbing your hand and leading you to the kitchen.
To your surprise there are already ingredients for brownies laid on the counter. You gaze at Felix with a questioning look to which he simply shrugs.
“Actually I was already planning on making you brownies and bringing them over but fate was on my side as always.”, Felix grinned and wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you in front of him as he started preparing the mix. He made sure to keep you close because he loves inhaling your sweet scent. You turned around and smiled feeling so lucky have him. He made you feel so safe and secure. He made you feel loved and cared for which was something you lacked at home with your dad. Not that it was your real home because to you, you had found your real home in Felix and he found his home within you and that was all you needed.
“I am a bit sad though Lix cuz I don’t even have my dad to go to anymore.” You sighed wishing things could be different.
“I know but who cares even if the world turns against you…You’ll always have me!”, he grinned and turned you around so you could face him. You couldn’t help but smile back because he was right.
You pressed a kiss you his lips draping your arms around his neck to bring his closer. Quickly he wrapped his hands around your waist and moved his lips in sync with yours. You smiled into the kiss and started giggling randomly making Felix pull back and stare at you with a perplexed smile on his face.
“What? Do I have something on my face?” He began patting his face vigorously and let out an overly dramatic gasp. You rolled your eyes and hugged him instead pulling him close and squeezing him with the tightest grip you could muster.
“No you coconut I just…”, you sigh with a smile that he couldn’t see,”I just love you Felix I really love you. Thank you for always putting me first.”, you peck his lips and cup his face staring at his features and studying them like you’ll never see them again.
Felix beamed feeling a little proud of how good he is to you he peck your lips in response looking at you with his face full of love and care.
“I love you too forever and always.”
****************************************
Authors Note: just wanna say hi and welcome to my work I hope you enjoy and I just want y’all to know… I really tried 🤡 but if you like or if you want more stuff like this yk send asks :) anyways have an amazing day
10 notes · View notes
ranpoismyblorbo · 3 years
Text
Songs as book characters: A Series
(did I absolutely and totally steal this idea from @wraithnknives ?? Yes. Yes I did. Am I sorry?? No. No I am not (unless of course she has a problem with in which case im very very sorry I'll stop rn-)
Brutal as the Crows
I'm so insecure I think
That I'll die before I drink
And I'm so caught up in the news
Of who likes me and who hates you
All of the crows are insecure about something in their lives for example Wylan is insecure about whether he actually belongs with them or not, Nina is insecure about whether she is betraying her country by her actions, same for Matthias and so on
They are all always on the alert for any news about the ongoings of people in the Barrel because they have to be, because one tiny gap in information could end up taking someone's life.
And I'm so tired that I might
Quit my job start a new life
And they'd all be so disappointed
Cuz who am I if not exploited
These lines just really remind me of Inej because she often thinks about just leaving and letting the Dregs chase her for retribution because she is just so tired of being the Wraith and she actually feels like the Crows (specifically Kaz) just keep her around because she's useful and that's how it's supposed to be anyways so she can't complain.
And I'm so sick of 17
Where's my fucking teenage dream
If someone tells me one more time
"Enjoy your youth" I'm gonna cry
I mean.....do I REALLY need to explain this one?? It's kinda obvious-
And I don't stick up for myself
I'm anxious and nothing can help
These two lines just remind me of Wylan and how he continuously feels like he doesn't belong here and let's be honest he's the softest of the six (in a "hardened criminal" way not a "can't handle a situation" way)
And I wish I'd done this before
And I wish people liked me more
Idk who this is about specifically but idk it just gives me the vibes ok (although the "I wish I'd done this before" part kinda feels like either Wylan finally actively going against his dad or Inej finally using her trauma and what she used to do to cope (disappear into herself) as a weapon)
All I did was try my best
This the kind of thanks I get
Unrelentlessly upset
So........all of them and their entire lives.
They say these are the golden years
But I wish I could disappear
Ego crushes so severe
God, it's brutal out here
The same thing, everyone says that our teen years are the best years or "golden" years of our lives but that wasn't the case for them (and honestly not most people)
"Ego crushes so severe" is an absolute Kaz line everytime his plans deviated or had to be changed quickly in SoC/CK. And the brutal part is again clear.
I feel like no one wants me
And I hate the way I'm percieved
The first line is Jesper because of everything he has done and all the trouble he has got his father into and how he's disappointed in himself.
The second line is Inej because while she is always satisfied when she is anticipated or feared/made preparations for by a rival, she still doesn't like her name in the Barrel, the Wraith and she doesn't like being a killer but has had to be. Also she is disappointed in herself for being satisfied whenever she gets a win in any way as the Wraith because she feels her parents wouldn't love her anymore because of it.
I only have two real friends
And lately I'm a nervous wreck
They all only have true friends in each other and let's be honest they were all absolutely on edge at basically all points of time during the events of the duology (except Jesper, he was only on edge (in a nervous way) once his dad was involved lol)
Cuz I love people I don't like
Helnik anyone??
And I hate every song I write
And I'm not cool and I'm not smart and I can't even parallel park
I have no clue for the first one but the second one is how Wylan feels around them because he feels like he doesn't belong and continuously asks himself what he's doing there
All I did was try my best.......It's brutal out here
It's a repeat
Got a broken ego, broken heart
And God I don't even know where to start
So at the end of SoC/beginning of CK everyone was really sad and angry etc because of Inej's kidnapping and Kaz was absolutely broken hearted and none of them knew where exactly to start planning (I mean ok Kaz DID make a plan but you get my point)
Anyways idk I was listening to this while trying to take a nap and I suddenly got this idea (it WAS in my Six of Crows playlist but I got THIS idea just then) so yea idk I feel good about this lol
5 notes · View notes
wastelandcth · 4 years
Note
idk if you write angst but could you write an angsty piece of the reader and cal fighting? cal is the dude to not fight and talk it out but maybe they have a fight they never really had before and it kinda goes to shit? the reader leaves for a few hours, leaves her phone at home so she can’t call anyone when she realizes it’s too late and cal calls the boys/girl’s to help find her and it results in seeing the reader a mess bc she thinks her and cal are over but they’re not and it ends in fluff?
okay this was one of my favorite things i’ve written lately so i hope you like this! also...maybe smut?? idk it’s probably not smut but also alluding to smut so 🤷🏻‍♀️
Movie Moments
"Hey man...have you or your missus heard anything from her? I...she hasn't come back home yet and it's getting pretty late." Calum mumbled into the phone as he rubbed his face, leaning back against the couch, "I was thinking maybe she'd gone over to talk to one of the girls but Ash and Mike said they haven't seen her today and neither have their girls. I just, I don't know what to do at this point." he sighed, looking over as he heard Duke whimpering at his feet, the old dog sensing his worries.
Thinking about it now, it had been a stupid fight. A fight that had been bubbling up for days now and Calum had the chance to nip it in the beginning but he was too stubborn of a person to be the first one to break again. He felt like it was always him fucking up and having to apologize for a disagreement. This time it wasn't even that much of his fault, to begin with. So their week began with a rocky start, both of them tiptoeing around each other as they tried to keep the impending fight at bay.
It started when she had left her laptop on the couch again. It wasn't anything intense, just her laptop on the couch. But Calum had gotten home exhausted from the studio and landing back onto the laptop didn't improve his mood, his backache the next morning just adding to his bad mood. Then when he'd left his running shoes near the doorway and she'd tripped and almost fallen on the ground, she couldn't help but utter out a few curse words, kicking the shoes back into the bedroom. But it didn't matter, because when she'd walked out the door at the end of their dumb fight, Calum knew he'd fucked up just as much as her.
"I just don't understand why you're so stubborn and won't accept the fact that I'm trying to help you out here! It's all I ever want to do, help you!" Calum winced at the own harshness of his voice, the thunder in the background making them both jump, "I want to make sure you're okay and that you don't do something stupid!"
Her life felt like a movie sometimes. Sometimes it felt like a teen coming of age movie when she and Calum were driving in the car with the windows down and some upbeat song came on to remind them that they were alive and together in this crazy world. Sometimes it felt like a romance movie, whenever she and Calum kissed and her world stopped because when Calum kissed her she felt like it was just her and Calum in the entire universe. Sometimes her life felt like a shitty romance movie, where the couple gets into a big fight and one of them gets stuck in the rain trying to deal with their feelings.
"I just don't understand why you're like this sometimes! Like, am I not enough for you?! I've tried, I've tried to become the best person I can become and you still treat me like I'm this...like I'm some dumb child who doesn't know how to take care of themself. I'm not a child, Calum! I'm a fucking adult, yeah I may be younger than you and you've seen more of this world than I can ever possibly imagine but you're no better than me. Deep down your just like me, you're just a fuck up who's scared to admit it and I'm just...I'm sick of having to tiptoe around this." her hands were shaking at this point, her hair sticking to her forehead as the rain kept falling around them.
Calum watched as she walked back inside of the house, the storm outside dulling into a sprinkle, not that it mattered much since they had both been soaked already. He watched as she grabbed her bag and her keys off of the counter and made her way towards the front door. He could've stopped her, he knew that if he went in there and apologized that she wouldn't leave, that they'd be able to talk things out. But Calum was being stubborn and he wasn't going to defend himself for wanting to take care of her, it wasn't like he was telling her she wasn't capable of doing so.
She was lost. The winding streets of the city leaving her confused and helpless. She really wished she had remembered to bring her phone when she had stormed out of the house but in her haste to leave, she'd left it. She could imagine it too, the clear case showing off the yellow phone and the polaroid picture of Calum and Duke that she had put there a few months ago, sitting on the coffee table where she had set it down before they'd walked outside to talk. It was probably dead by this time too, since she hadn't charged her phone since the night before. But now she had no way of knowing where she was or how to get back, the moonlight being blocked by the rain clouds that seemed to be mocking her. She could've walked to Ashton's house, maybe even Luke's since they were nearby their own house, but she couldn't face them, she couldn't face anyone at the moment. She'd decided on walking, to clear her mind, and try not to ruin what she had with Calum by saying something she didn't mean while angry. But the rain disoriented her and now she was sat on the curb, her jeans wet, her shoes soaked, and her tears being hidden by the raindrops falling around her.
She could've knocked on the door of whoever’s curb she was currently sitting on, ask them to use their phone to call Calum or one of her friends, but the idea of being kidnapped by them or worse would just prove Calum right and even in her panic she didn't want to deal with him saying 'I told you so' at her funeral. So instead she sat in silence, her body shaking from the cold as she tried to come up with a plan. She could've gone to the main road, tried to find a payphone, but it was late and she didn't really want to bump into the crowds of partying tourists and college students who flooded the night clubs during the weekends. She had been walking for what seemed like hours, she could've been in an entirely new city for all she knew, her sore feet protesting as she stood up to keep walking.
Bright headlights made her eyes squint as she made her way down yet another hilly neighborhood. Her body stiffening as she noticed the car flashing their lights at her and pull up next to her. Her breathing quickened as she prepared herself to bolt, her blood going cold as she imagined the worse. Calum really would've been upset at her funeral if she died like this. Relief flooded her as she heard a familiar Australian accent, watching as Luke parked the car and stepped out, his arms wrapping around her tightly and murmuring how he was glad to find her.
"You want to talk about it?" Luke asked softly as he glanced over at her while he drove them back home. It had been a few minutes since Luke had seen her walking down the steep hill, a few minutes after he'd called Calum and told him that he'd found her and she was safe. She found herself sitting in Luke's passenger seat, the seat warmer doing wonders for her shivering body. She shrugged, looking down at her hands as she thought about what she could say to the blonde.
"I'm not the best with directions, LA is stupid big and I got lost. I personally blame whoever made this city with so many hills and houses that look alike," she mumbled as she looked out the window, smiling weakly as she heard Luke scoff, which she hoped was more of a laugh. "Big cities are the worst. How is he?" she asked as they pulled into the driveway, her eyes landing on Calum who was stood outside of the front door waiting for them, his shoulders relaxing as he saw the car pull in.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled as she stepped out of the car, not expecting to be engulfed into Calum's arms the second she was out. Her arms wrapped around his body, her eyebrows furrowing as she felt his body shake and his uneven breathing on her neck. "C-Calum? I'm okay, I promise. I just got lost and...you were right. I can't take care of myself I'm sorry..." she rambled nervously and held him closer to her, her hand rubbing his back as she tried to calm him down. She'd only ever seen him cry a handful of times and it had never been because of her, the guilt rising up her body as Calum led her inside, thanking Luke as he got back into the car and drove off, giving you both the space you needed.
She followed Calum inside, the quiet house they'd both become accustomed to felt suffocated. The tension heard in their footsteps and in between Calum's sniffles. Her eyes looked towards the coffee table, a sigh leaving her as she saw her phone. She watched him as he walked around the kitchen, getting them both a glass of water and turning off the lights, something he'd do every night before bed. She followed him down the hallway to their bedroom, watched as he set the glasses down on the bedside table before he walked into the bathroom. She slid off her shoes as she heard the shower turn on, walking in to find Calum sliding off his damp shirt. His skin felt like fire against her cold fingertips, helping him slide the shirt up his torso before it fell to the floor with a thud. His eyes met hers, both of them tired and full of sadness as his fingertips played with the hem of her shirt, slowly pulling it off to join his on the floor.
The bathroom had steamed up by the time they'd both stepped into the shower, soft apologies whispered in between kisses. Her back was against the wall, her hands gripping his hair as she gave herself to him. His hands squeezed at her soft skin, the warm water enveloping both of them as they drank each other in. They moved as if they were made for one another, one of his hands holding one of hers above their heads as he left a trail of kisses down her jaw, his mouth whispering against her skin the words he only mumbled to himself when she was asleep. Her free hand tugged on his dark curls, soft moans leaving her as she listened to him, her body on fire as she wondered how she could have ever doubted that this was what she wanted for the rest of her life.
Laying in bed, the rain outside was different. It no longer felt like a movie moment to her. She was no longer stuck in a shitty romance movie. She was lying in the arms of her lover. Listening to his soft breathing as his chest rose and fell with sleep. No, her life no longer felt like that movie anymore, it felt like a dream she didn't want to wake up from. It felt like a poem she never wanted to stop reading. It felt like home, it felt like Calum.
128 notes · View notes
isa-bella-cognition · 3 years
Text
I’m so sick of being alive. Idek what to think or feel. I’m not in agony? I’m not really.. sad? I don’t think? Maybe like 10-15% sad? But only sometimes. I’m almost always anxious though. And I’ve been feeling hopeless lately. Life just feels so futile. I’m never going to achieve my goals so what’s the point in staying alive? I’m just going to suffer for the next 50-65 years. Life is just going to be.. living paycheck to paycheck.. not meeting anyone I actually connect with... never feeling awake, just always feeling tired. Always struggling with taking care of myself. I know I can’t actually predict the future but these are my guesses. It’s been years and I can’t seem to figure this life shit out. It’s like, during my high moments, I do pretty well, and seem to be making progress. Then I just fall flat on my face again. How am I supposed to get through school like this? And raise children? Children need stability, consistency. What if I can’t keep myself together? What if I end up isolating myself in my room for a few days at a time, and my husband has to watch them on his own, and have to explain to them what the hell is wrong with their mother? Ugh. Idk man. I don’t even know what I want. I keep thinking, do I want to die? Do I want to keep trying? Am I depressed? I’m definitely displaying all the symptoms of a depressive episode. A constant cycle of insomnia and over-sleeping to catch up. Eating junk food, poor appetite interspersed with over-eating. Staying inside literally all day every day. Not talking to anyone. Barely showering. I’m deteriorating. I wonder how much better I’d be doing if SHE wasn’t living here. Holy fuck, every time I go to write about her I just get angry. My “mother” OD’d a few months ago on purpose and I did all the work getting her set up with doctors and transportation and stuff, and she was supposed to check into the hospital for a week or two. But she changed her fucking mind cause apparently according to her she wasn’t actually depressed. Yeah. Cause I try to kill myself when I’m not depressed. So she ends up fucking staying with me which I thought would be temporary but it’s been over two months and she’s STILL fucking here and I can’t work up the nerve to fucking kick her out. God this pisses me the fuck off. I have to kick her the fuck out soon. This is driving me crazy. I don’t even feel like I live here. Ever since she got here, I’ve been holed up in my room. You know what fuck her. I’m gonna tell her enough’s enough you’ve got to get your own place cause this was supposed to be temporary. FUCK. I’m so mad.
1 note · View note
Text
What’s the last vegetable you ate, and when did you eat it? Spinach today
What was your last Facebook notification for? Someone liked my profile pic
What bands have you seen live? Demi Lovato and some that my parents took me to
Tell me an interesting fact about your mother: She used to design exhibits
What do you think is the most important thing to happen to you before the age of 13? Make friends
What were you super against as a young child but aren’t anymore? Blow jobs (not young young obviously but in high school I thought they sounded gross)
What are your plans later today? Go to bed
Are you doing anything exciting this weekend? DnD
Who do you talk to the most? My boyfriend and my parents
What are some things you do regularly that make you feel old? Not do stupid impulsive things (although I kind of wish I did)
Who is your best guy friend(s)? Probably John
Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? It’s fine the way it is
If you had a tiny scar on your face, would you get it removed or just keep it? Keep it 
Have you had an x-ray in the past year? Yes, I thought I broke or dislocated my toe, but i did not
Do you think your first love still loves you? It was unrequited
What is something that is “going right” in your life? I got a car and the vaccine
When did you feel ready to start dating? Like 5th grade but it took till high school for people to be ready to date me (and till after college to get past a couple dates)
When was the last time your pet bit you? If you don’t have a pet, have you ever been bitten by someone else’s? Idk. She always threatened to bite but I can’t remember the last time she actually did
Where were you the last time you made out? My couch
When was the last time you cried tears of joy? Idk
How do you type your sad smileys? :( or :/ depending on the mood
Do you have “decorative hand-towels” that cannot be used in your house? No, but my mom does
What was the last soda you drank? Izze
What was the last thing someone made fun of you for? Probably being insecure
Have you ever had any type of surgery? Yes, to get my wisdom teeth out and pull down my canines and remove half my thyroid
Should kids be allowed to get tattoos/piercings without parental consent? No
Who was the last person to hit on you? My boyfriend
What was the last thing you decided not to do, that you were supposed to? Go to bed early
What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to tell someone? Idk
What do you put on hot dogs? I don’t eat hot dogs
Ever fallen in the shower? Probably
Do you think that things will get better? I hope so
Have you ever legitimately saved a person’s life? No
What’s your favourite book genre? Fantasy
Have you ever walked out of a movie at the theatre? No
Do dogs like you? I think so
Would you say that you project an air of authority? No
Have you ever jumped off a high dive into a pool? Maybe
Do you use one towel when you shower or two? (one for hair, one for body) One
Have you ever been to one of the great lakes? No
Who do you know that had a baby recently? My cousin
Do you like Usher’s songs? Not too many
When was the last time you went to a waterpark? A couple years ago
Have you ever ridden a train? Yes
What do you eat your French fries with? Garlic aioli sauce or nothing
Do you have family problems? Not really but I’m sick of living with my dad
What’s the last food you ate that was stale? Gummy vitamins
How do you like your grilled cheese? Nice and toasted but soft on the inside
What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked? Idk, I don’t really cook What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid? Play with toy animals or play pretend
Have you ever been close to drowning? No
Have you ever had a panic attack? Idk
Do you like doing housework? No
Would you ever get implants? No
Do you own a robe? No
Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? No
Do you like crust on pizza or do you cut it off? I eat it but it’s not my favorite part. If it’s really hard from being reheated I cut it off
What was the last song you listened to? I'm listening to Forever & Always by Taylor Swift
Have any of your family members been to jail? No
Is there anyone that you feel you still need some closure with? Maybe, I haven’t been able to get in touch with one of my childhood friends and idk why
Can you remember when you first learned how to read? No
What event in your life has transformed your personality the most? Idk, it’s hard to pinpoint
Have you ever had any teeth pulled? Yes
Do you still want to be what you wanted to be in elementary school? Kinda? Idk. I wanted to be an artist, a scientist, and a teacher. I am still into creative things and I’m interested in science, and teaching might be fun if it didn’t have so much public speaking
What’re some TV shows that you would like to get into? How I Met Your Mother
How would you feel if you were drafted for the military? I would be very scared and angry, and probably try to find a way to dodge the draft
What is your favorite Queen song? Bohemian Rhapsody, I’m basic
Do you know how to use any foreign currency? I did when I traveled there
Been kissed by someone who you knew was “bad” for you? Probably
Ever taken an at-home pregnancy test? No
When was the last time you were at a loss of what to do? Always
What did you do on your favorite date with a guy/girl? Idk what my favorite date was. Probably just get a meal
What’s a movie you have seen in the theater more than once? Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
What is the reason you’re still alive? Luck, probably
Have you ever had sex in someone else’s bed/bedroom? Yes, the partner’s. And an airbnb
Do you ever brush your hair before you go to bed? Not usually
Have you ever had a dream about sleeping with a celebrity? (You don’t have to give details.) Probably
Has anyone ever told you that they needed you? Do you think they meant it? Not that I recall
How did you feel when you woke up today? What was the first thing you thought about? Tired, thought about my covid shot
Do you still tell your parents that you love them? Yes
Have you ever said “I love you” to someone you weren’t going out with? Yes
Would you date someone with a physical disability? Depends what it is
Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you? I hope the fuck not
The last time you dyed your hair, what color did you dye it? Tried to get a red ombre but it didn’t really take
Think of the last time you went out to eat. Who paid? My boyfriend
Do you save at least 15 percent of your income? Lol no
Do you ever go on Reddit? If so, what are some of your favorite subreddits? Sometimes, mostly with my boyfriend. I like AmITheAsshole, AnimalsBeingJerks, and HoldMyCosmo
Were you ever a flower girl or ring bearer in anyone’s wedding when you were little? I was a flower girl in my uncle’s wedding and I think I was something in a babysitter’s wedding
Are your parents in good health? Probably about average for their age
Have you ever been a caregiver to a sick/disabled relative? No
Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason? No
Do you have a favorite pair of pajamas? What do they look like? Maybe my purple checked ones
Do you have any interesting pillow cases? Not really, other than some disney character ones from when I was a kid
If something on your body hurts, which part is it most likely to be? Headache or period cramps
Are you more afraid of spiders or bees? Spiders but both
Have you ever worn fake nails? If so, what did the last pair you wore look like? I tried a halloween themed set once
Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you? I guess native american? idk
1 note · View note
futurewriter2000 · 5 years
Text
Different meanings
Tumblr media
A/N: Okay, so I know I’m really late on that. And I tried to make it angsty but it’s not really angsty angsty cuz ... I am idealess. Anyways I hope you like it <3 
REQUEST: Hello! Can I request a Draco x hufflepuff reader fic where they both hate each other and always fight and Idk really angsty. As angsty and sad as you can. Then she starts avoiding him. His friends make him realise he has feelings for her so he tries to find her. He sees her walking to her common room, grabs and kisses her but she pushes him away and he kisses her again(heated kiss pls) and yes happy ending. Please before the happy ending make it as angsty as Satan allows I wanna cry my eyes out
XX
You loathed Draco Malfoy. You wanted him to burn in hell for only existing in this world. He was a pathetic, cowardly, cruel and evil piece of shit that just couldn’t get enough of torturing you. 
You tried to be the kind and nice Hufflepuff people had you for. You wanted to be careless and labor free but how can you when the only demon on your shoulder was he, lingering everywhere you stepped your foot on.
“Betty.” he forced a smile as he passed you by while you just rolled your eyes.
“Dick.” you forced an obvious fake smile as well and knocked his shoulder.
He turned, smiled, licked his front teeth and watched you walk to your desk. You turned to your friend and immediately started talking. You didn’t think twice about the boy whose eyes were now lingering on you. It was sincere, he knew. He knew you weren’t doing anything on purpose, you just didn’t care about him.
Odd. He didn’t like that.
Since the day he had met you, the second ride to Hogwarts, somehow his eyes always seemed to find you. Even when you weren’t there, in his head, you were still there. You were always there. In the back of his brain in this small drawer that he kept locked shut.
*flashback*
‘ “Does little Mudblood want to play?” he grabbed the book from your hand and backed away, throwing it around.
“Give it back, Malfoy!” you shouted and walked after him but he only ran away with it, cackling. “I’ll hex you!”
“Don’t think so. Only a real wizard can and as I remember, your blood is covered in filth.” he climbed on the tree and opened the book. “Interesting.”
“Can’t you fuck off already! I’m sick of your ignorant arse following me and torturing me every single time!”
“ Following you? Yeah. You’d love to think that.” he smirked and started tearing pieces and pieces of the book.
“STOP!” you shouted but he only cackled in return.
You tried to pick the pieces that fell from the air but your eyesight was blurred with your tears and you couldn’t find the strength to hold them back. “Mutatio Skullus!” you shouted the hex at him but he dodged it and fell on the ground.
He soon got on his feet, pulled out his wand and stormed over to you. “Are you bloody mad!” he pressed his wand on your chin and pushed you against the wall. “A mutation spell! And making me fall from a tree! I could have get killed if you mix those two up!” he shouted and made the tip of his wand let out sparks of green.
“Don’t you get it!” you shouted and pushed him away. “YOU PRIDE YOURSELF ON YOUR FAMILY! You pride yourself on being a rich, spoiled little git who can get anything he asks for! “ you cried and threw a rock at him. “I don’t have that, Malfoy! I don’t have a rich family, okay! I am a Muggleborn or a Mudblood that you’re so keen on using! Is that what you want to hear!!”
“(y/n).”
“NO!” you cut in first. “At least I’m not kissing arse to every professor and looking for solutions with my precious daddy or Deatheaters!”
“Shut your mouth!” he now snarled back.
“Shut my mouth?!” you scoffed. “People hate you Malfoy! You’re a Slytherin, a pureblood, whose father was a convicted Deatheater. Your mother is a Black! Her sister is a murderer and so is the rest of the family. You say my blood has filth? Check your own!”
“Well, guess what (y/l/n)! At least I have good grades. At least I have some sort of future. Getting T’s in Charms like some sort futile creature. Ripped, outworn clothes, borrowing others’ school supplies. You’re nothing but a homeless little slag who got thrown out because she’s a witch. They hate you. Your family hates you for being a Mudblood. I hate you. Everybody hates you. I wonder how far you’ll go. Maybe end up in a ditch!” ‘
*end of flashback*
Maybe he was a bit harsh on you but that was your game. Since the second year of Hogwarts, insulting each other, arguing, fighting and hexing each other was a game. A fair play.
But why does he have a feeling that this is different?
---
He stepped in the classroom, his eyes scanning the room for you until they found your (y/h/c) in the third row, smiling and laughing with two of your friends. A charming grin stretched on his lips and he quickly made his way towards and sitting right beside you. “ Miss me?” he asked, placing his chin on his palm and watching you with adorable googly eyes as he always did when the two of you had this class together.
But there wasn’t the usual retort from you or the snarky remark. You simply grabbed the bag and moved to another desk.
The grin was wiped off, the eyes watching you with confusion.
“Didn't like that, did you?” a chuckle came from behind him.
Draco turned around and saw his classmate with a smug expression. “What are you smirking about, Blaise?”
“Your face.” he chuckled and Draco rolled his eyes.
“Why don’t you just ask her out?”
“(y/l/n)?!” he scoffed with a laugh.
“You do fancy her, don’t you?” Blaise quirked an eyebrow.
“I loathe her.”
“I know you’re a liar, Draco. But you’re not a really good one.”
“I’d never fancy a Mudblood.”
“ You said that the same for Half-bloods and here you are, talking to me.” Blaise smirked and licked his front teeth. “You know what, mate? Whatever.” he brushed it off and leaned back on the chair. “Doesn’t really matter. If you say you don’t fancy her, then you don’t.”
Though Blaise Zabini knew exactly what he was doing.
---
After the class, Draco ran after you but you just couldn’t have it with him anymore. You just couldn’t.
“Oi!” he shouted after you. “(y/n)!”
But you just walked forward, not even bothering to turn around. Not when he had the nerve to speak to you the way he did a few days ago.
“Bloody hell.” he sped up and finally caught up, just before you were about to reach your common room. He slid in front of you but you only pushed him away. “(y/n)?” he reached to grab you but you quickly tore the arm away.
“WHAT!” you snapped at him.  “What do you want?! My books to tear?! My robes to rip!? My hair to dye?! What Malfoy! What do you want?!”
“To talk.” he spoke calmly, which was quite unusual for him.
“To talk?!” you scoffed and crossed your arms over your chest, narrowing your eyes at him. “When have we ever talked ?!”
“Well, apparently never since you’re the one doing the yelling.”
“All we ever do is fight, Draco! We fight and we argue like we’re back in the Second year! We’re not twelve anymore and I’m getting tired of this!”
“Of what?”
“THIS! Whatever this is!”
“Look. I know I crossed the line last time-”
“Crossed?! You mowed it.”
“I’m sorry okay!?” he was now doing the yelling as well.
“Sorry ain't gonna cut it.” you turned around and was ready to leave when his hand grabbed yours and he pulled you back.
His hands grabbed the sides of your head and he kissed you. Pressing his pale lips onto yours, you haven’t thought they’d be so warm and sweet but despite the taste and the cravings, you still decided to push him away. “What the hell?!” you tried to stay angry but he only pulled you back into another, hungry kiss.
He kissed you passionately, deeply as if he had wanted to do it for such a long time now. One hand moved to your hip and he pulled you even closer against his body, deepening the kiss. Your head spun from it but it didn’t take you a second longer to kiss him back. You didn’t even notice when your back touched the wall behind you, his hands slid up your hip and up your arm until his fingers intertwined with his and he pressed himself harder against you.
You pulled away for a second, only a second to see the storm in his eyes. The storm that you were so used to hate and in that second the position switched and you were the one pinning him against the wall. Your hand found its way to his hair and gripped it tightly before pulling him downwards so that your lips crashed again. He smiled into it, biting your lower lip letting his hands roam your body freely.
“That doesn’t mean I forgive you.” you panted as you moved away with your hands falling on his heaving chest.
“Than what does it mean?” he placed a grin on his lips.
“It means-” you paused, distracting yourself with his lips. “It means-” you still couldn’t form a sentence.
“It means?” he teased, kissing only your upper lip and gently biting on it. “What does it mean?” he asked again and kissed you full on lips again.
“To go to hell with it.” you parted than pulled him down by his tie and pulling him backward with you. “Let’s go somewhere else.”
604 notes · View notes
ain-t-bovvered · 5 years
Text
15x02 commentary
bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)
Hello and welcome:
@purpleskiesandcherrypies​​  (Nat)
@dean-winchesters-bacon​​  (Kat)  
@waywardbaby​​  (Zee)
@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)
Tumblr media
 Nat : ready?
Zee: Yes
Zee: No
Giulia: Yeah yeah YEAH
Nat : go
Giulia: GOD
Nat : NICE
Zee: Not jack dying again
Giulia: Can they stop making me see Jack dying again
Giulia: That must be a real tiny ass town tho
 Nat : Ah, something's gonna happen
Zee: I read tiny ass and was trying to figure out what it meant
Zee: Really?
Giulia: The fuck is she doing
Nat : Ah Rob
Nat : Is that still in that town?
Zee: That ain’t rob bitch
Nat : Ah yeah
Giulia: There are ALWAYS people who don’t evacuate
Giulia: PRIORITIES
 Nat : Why is she not at the school
Nat : Woo? Woo girls being stabbed and it sounds like this?
Zee: Because she dum
Nat : Who is this
Giulia: AH LOL
Giulia: spelling bee
Nat : An academic ghost
Giulia: thank you NAN
Zee: Nice
Tumblr media
Giulia: The chains are already there
Zee: Louder Sam
Nat : lol Sammy
Nat : sHorTlY
Zee: Say it like you mean it sam
Giulia: Shut up
Zee: Cas’s “we're fucked” look
Tumblr media
Nat : I'm not their favorite
Nat : snorts
D: So you were a dick to 'em in Hell, huh?
B: No, I did my job. It's Hell. It's not a day spa.
Giulia: well he’s not wrong
Zee: Crowley whiplash
Zee: Poor dean
D: Why are you helping?
Giulia: YEAH why
I told you, I like Hell the way it was. I'm a good soldier.
Tumblr media
Can I direct you to Dean’s “surprised” eyebrows at the ‘ I’m a good soldier?’ I think that tell a lot.
Giulia: ESCAPE ATTEMPT
Nat : Dangerous ghosts
Nat : Touble T?
Zee: Jack the Ripper
Nat : Great
Giulia: OH GREAT COOL
Giulia: cool cool cool
Tumblr media
Nat : How is Jack the Ripper in the US tho
Zee: Because that’s where the Winchester’s challenged Chuck Nat
Giulia: Idk man...americans likes to have everything
Nat : Claiming ghosts that are not theirs
Giulia: AND of course there must be the stupid humans
Nat : Ah, this reminds me of something
Giulia: Oh look a ghostmeeting
Zee: Claiming ghosts, raising hell. The hell business
Giulia: OH that’s Jack the ripper then
Nat : Apparently MYSTERY SOLVED
Giulia: Where’s the accent
Nat : He apparently adapts
Nat : Wow, that's a great idea to sneak in
Giulia: AH sneeky humans
Zee: WHY?
Giulia: Hope u get killed Stupid fucks
Nat : I can't get over the weird ghosts
Tumblr media
Zee: Look at that close up
Giulia: you are so pretty Charles
Tumblr media
C: I just think we need to tell the family something. I mean, we found his wife's body.
S: Cass, we will. When we can.
C: When we can?
Tumblr media
he’s so done. lol
Tumblr media
Nat : The squint of Cas eyes tho
Tumblr media
Giulia: always
R: KNOCK KNOCK
Zee: THE QUEEN
R: Am I interrupting something juicy?
Zee: Samuel
R: Castiel ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
Tumblr media
Giulia: I LOVE THEM
Nat : As if she doesn't want to help
Nat : SAMUEL NO
Giulia: Samuel nou
Zee: Them bow legs
Nat : Dean's hair
Giulia: That stare is so not normal Sam. Please get on with the program
 Nat : I am not entirely happy with these ghosts, honestly
Giulia: Well The ripper is not that bad
Zee: Ketch
Giulia: KETCH
Nat : Ugh
Giulia: what’s that horrible suit tho
Nat : Dean's happy though. He just doesn't know how to show it
Tumblr media
I know! he looks a bit happy lol.
but also
Tumblr media
I mean...
Tumblr media
Nat : Yeah, but that's about it
Giulia: Ketch looks tanned
Giulia: Oh COME ON, can we not
Zee: Asking for single malt whiskey in the middle of the apocalypse. What a queen
Nat : Eyefuck
Zee: Is this awkward or not?
Giulia: They gonna fuk
Tumblr media
K: Jack?
B: Um no, I get that a lot
Nat : I get that a lot lol
Giulia: OH SHUT UP
Zee: Now I’m under jacks
Giulia: Oh does ketch knows him
Giulia: OH
Nat : Oh, he is a treat you just don't know it yet
Giulia: Yeah
Zee: What?
Giulia: OH
Nat : Is that Amara
Giulia: HELLO
Nat : Ah
Giulia: AAAH
Zee: WHAT THE FUCK?
Giulia: smite
Nat : I think it's probably the other way round
Nat : He's the darkness
Zee: Game of thrones ending ! Lol
Giulia: NO IT WAS NOT PRETTY GREAT FUCK OFF
Asshole: You said you'd keep us safe.
Tumblr media
Zee: Take a deep breath Cas
Giulia: DON T TRY WITH CAS
Nat : The dimples of discontent
R: So, uh, tell me about Arthur Ketch.
Giulia: ROWENA FOCUS
Dean’s not really having it today lol
D: Rowena, we have ourselves a crisis on our hands, okay?  Find yourself another boy toy.
Nat : Boy Toy
Giulia: BOY TOY
Zee: Don’t I ?
Giulia: AHAHAHA
Nat : hey
Giulia: no ok but she really don t
Tumblr media
Nat : H E Y
Giulia: AWKWARD
Zee: Dropped the puck
Giulia: oh.......Are we doing this
Nat : Ah great to remind him Cas. Well done
Giulia: Yikes
C: I didn't tell you about Jack, and then after what happened with your mother...
Zee: Yikes
Zee: Shut up
Tumblr media
Giulia: YIKES
C: You're angry
Tumblr media
Nat : Dean bb
D: This mess... all the messes. It turns out that we're just hamsters running in a wheel our whole lives. What do we have to show for it, huh? Tell me you don't feel conned. God's been lying to you, Cass, forever. You bought into the biggest scam in history.
Giulia: HAMSTERS well he right
C: ou don't think I'm angry? After what Chuck did? After what he took from me?He killed Jack. But that doesn't mean it was all a lie
Zee: Mourning dad
Giulia: Oh no Cass
Giulia: Well he’s not wrong
D: really?
C: Chuck is all-knowing He knew the truth, he... he just kept it to himself.
Nat : Awe Cas
D: Well, now that his cover's blown, everything that we've done is for what? Nothing?
 Zee: Dean is about to snap tho
C: Even if we didn't know that all of the challenges that we face were born of Chuck's machinations, how would we describe it all? We'd call it "life". Because that's precisely what life is. It's an obstacle course, and maybe Chuck designed the obstacles, but we ran our own race. We made our own moves. And mostly, we did well with that.
Giulia: Bb
Nat: Great speech
Giulia: I love it
D: Did we? I'll tell you what we do know. Nothing about our lives is real. Everything that we've lost, everything that we are is because of Chuck. So maybe you can stick your head back in the sand, maybe you can pretend that we actually had a choice. I can't.
Giulia: DEAN
Nat : I can see Demon!Dean a little
Giulia: dean is MAD
Giulia: M. A. D
Tumblr media
Zee: You shut your mouth
C: Dean. You asked, "What about all of this is real?" 
 We are.
Zee: WE ARE
Nat : WE ARE
Tumblr media
Giulia: WE ARE
Giulia: MY GOD
Nat : SOBA
Giulia: I HAVE CHILLS
Zee: Ok. I love him
Giulia: GREAT SPEECH
Giulia: *clapping *
Tumblr media
I can’t believe that actually happened right in front of my salad
Nat : It's not really ME
Giulia: Oh ok
Nat : snorts
D: You guys didn't come up with a cool weapon for Him, did you?
K: No
K: So, um... Tell me about the witch.
Giulia: NO STOP THAT
Tumblr media
Zee: Trouble. Ya think dean? You’re in a town filled with idiots
Giulia: im still in cas’ speech tbh
Zee: Focus
Tumblr media
Giulia: IT WAS A GREAT SPEECH
Tumblr media
Nat : So can we move away from ghosts in the next ep
Giulia: Yeah I’m already tired of them
Nat : I'm salty we waste two episodes on them
Tumblr media
Giulia: what
Zee: What?
Giulia: OH
Giulia: OOOOH
Nat : AH
Zee: Aaaa
Giulia: KEVIIIIIN
Giulia: BB
Giulia: MY BABY
Nat : Hello smalls
Giulia: MY BEAUTIFUL STRESSED BB
Zee: Advanced placement
Giulia: wasn’t he in HEAVEN
Giulia: oh great
Giulia: BITCH
Nat : DEAN IS PISSED
Giulia: FUCK HIM
Nat : Dean? I try
Giulia: NO GOD
Giulia: FOCUS NAT
Zee: God’s a dick
Nat : GOD CAN SUCK MY DICK
Giulia: well Amara seems calm
Nat : Ah, that's the oriental room we saw once on IG
Nat : She's not
Zee: She really isn’t
Giulia: Oh look he wanna tap out
Giulia: AHAHAHAH HE ANNOYED HIS SISTER
Nat : It's not you. She knows
Zee: He’s buttering her up
Nat : I thought she was lil sis?
Giulia: Oh what if he needs her for his new project
Zee: The cogs are turning
Giulia: OH HE IS HURT
Nat : I hope that they won't fuck
Giulia: what
Giulia: HEY COME ON
Zee: Nat!! Ffs
Giulia: IT’S 8:30
Zee: It’s not a time thing Giuls
Nat : We are watching SPN at 8.30 what does that say about us.
 Nat : We will be salty the whole da
Giulia: we like pain
B: I guess I just assumed you two pros woulda wrapped it up by now.
Tumblr media
Nat : Whiny Kevin?
Nat : Shut up
Giulia: Typical millenial
Giulia: ...WHAT
Giulia: omg
Nat : No, it's actually Gen Z
Zee: What?
Giulia: NICE
Zee: Bitches focus
Giulia: but also
Giulia: ....I DON T LIKE THAT
Nat : Ah great
Nat : Like we all don't worry at all
Tumblr media
 Nat : So sick of ghosts UGH
Giulia: oh remember those scenes in the season trailer with dean being conflicted and sad with the colt?
Nat : U
Nat : G
Nat : H
Giulia: SNORTS
Zee: Yeah. Don’t !!
Nat : stop
Giulia: they all know Kevin Tran
Nat : I think it's universal that ghosts knows each other
Giulia: Sam and dean
Giulia: Sam and dean
Giulia: US
Giulia: Our chat is hell lol
Tumblr media
Zee: Thanks
Ketch and Rowena flirting again
Giulia: I DON T CARE ABOUT THOSE TWO. UGH WHY IS THERE ORG CHEM
Nat : I AM CONFUSED
Zee: Is this gonna be Ketcena?
Giulia: HATE THAT. Hate all of that. So much
Nat : I swear if we are still stuck in the ghost town by ep 3 I'm gonna flip a fucking table
Giulia: Is this flirting
Zee: Dean is cockblocking for once
Nat : He knew
Giulia: he feels these things
Nat : Ah, they know each other
Giulia: WHY THEY ALL KNOW EACHOTHER
Also Rowena needs to revaluate her standards 
Giulia: what is this
Zee: We’ve established that
Nat : Hey, don't insult Marry Poppins you fuck
Nat : Great
Giulia: ....
Nat : Have I mentioned that I hate ghosts
Giulia: Wow that was lame
Nat : What is this episode
Giulia: Ghosts
Nat : It's lame
Giulia: Why can he do that
Giulia: This is the last we see Kevin
Giulia: Just realized
Giulia: I don t wanna
Giulia: Awe Dean
Zee: Excuse me while I drool a bit
Nat : Meh
Zee: What?
Giulia: Of course
Zee: Oh fuck
Nat : I saw that he wasn't wearing the chain
Giulia: How they took it out tho
Giulia: GREAT
Nat : I'm so not into the episode
Giulia: yeah It s weak
Nat : Both of them were tbh
Giulia: WHY DO I HAVE ADS
Giulia: FUCK
Zee: Yah me too 
Nat : This might be unpopular opinion
Giulia: well it’ll pick up
Nat : Idc
Zee: But is the ghost thing over?
Giulia: 🤷🏼‍♀
Nat : But it makes me mad that we waste 2 episodes
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Giulia: Tiny smile
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Giulia: KEVIN
Nat : The eyebrow
Giulia: IM SO ANGRY
Nat : Look at the eyebrow
Zee: Relax your forehead Sam
Giulia: SANGRY
Zee: Is that eyebrow stuck?
Giulia: can relate
Giulia: IMMA CRY
Nat : Shut up Belphy
Tumblr media
Nat : LOVE YOU GUYS
Giulia: KEVIN BB
Giulia: LOVE U GUYS
Giulia: SOBS
Giulia: SOOOB
Giulia: I love you kevin
Tumblr media
Giulia: OH NO
Zee: Oh fuck Oooooffff
Tumblr media
Giulia: IS THIS THE FIRST OF THE GOODBYES?
Tumblr media
Nat : I feel Amara Amara is my spirit animal
Giulia: You sing backup
Giulia: Oooooooh burn
bUT HEY , maybe Amara will be one of those rare females on spn to not die
Zee: I kinda like her now
Giulia: I’m done chuck
Zee: Petulant
Giulia: Petulant narcissist
Giulia: Oh can Amara seal his ass away
 Giulia: AH SUCKS FOR U
Tumblr media
Nat : We'll still be stuck in ghost town next ep aren't we
Tumblr media
Zee: Ya think Rowena ?
Nat : Ugh eyes twitch
Giulia: Well it is the major problem
Giulia: TRAILER TIME
after 
Nat : Yeah
Nat : GREAT
Giulia: ...
Giulia: OH NO
Giulia: NOPE
Giulia: NOOOPE
Giulia: NOPE
Giulia: SAM CRYING
Giulia: NO
Giulia: I HATE IT
Zee: WHAT WAS THAT?
Giulia: I HATE THIS
Giulia: FUCK OFF
Zee: Like
Giulia: NO
Zee: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
Nat : I'm salty
Giulia: IM ALREADY CRYING
Giulia: Please, It’s too soon for Rowena come on
Giulia: Nat
Giulia: HARD NOPE
Zee: Fuck off
Giulia: HATE IT
Giulia: HATE IIIIIIIT Next episode is canceled
Zee: Like, get in the mood for next ep
Giulia: What next ep?
Zee: We both know we’re gonna be there
Giulia: The next one is 15x04
.
.
.
If you want to get tagged send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.
TAGS: @wayward-angelgirl​  @destiel-honeypie​      @mariekoukie6661​      @dragontamerm​       @closetspngirl​    @rainflowermoon​     @mattiecat​       @bunnybaby121115​  @aliaitee2​    @jacks-word-of-the-day​     @4evamc​       @dammitsammy​     @legendary-destiel​   @winchesterprincessbride​    @destielhoneybee​    @castiellover20   @jacks-word-of-the-day​  @ravenhg​ @evvvissticante​
36 notes · View notes