winter-soldier-vibes - Tumblr blog

[winter-soldier-vibes]

In a life 20,000 feet in the sky

Nobody knows who I am.

In a life 20,000 feet in the sky,

No one knows where I’m coming or where I’m going. 

In a world 20,000 feet in the sky,

No one knows where or who I’ve been.

How wonderful to disappear between terminals and small bags of pretzels.

How wonderful to be carried 20,000 feet above my worst problems

How wonderful to be carried oceans away from the girl I was.

How wonderful it is to fly amongst the clouds.

There is freedom in carrying everything you need with you.

There is freedom in leaving everything behind

There is freedom in the journey,

And freedom in the sky.

In a world nowhere near home, I think I’ve found a new one.

[winter-soldier-vibes]

You can make it through this. You have made it through struggles before. This sucks. And, you can survive. You will be okay.

[winter-soldier-vibes]

Me😭

Self reblogging my old fics because i have nothing new to post

[winter-soldier-vibes]

Cookie anon here 🍪❤️

I JUST GOT FINISHED MAKING CHRISTMAS COOKIES TODAY 🤣 What a coincidence!!!!

AHHHHH YES YES!!! Cookies for cookie🥰🥰🥰

[winter-soldier-vibes]

Thank youuuuu! I think about this fic like once a week lol😂 one of my better ones haha

Baking (fails) with Bucky

Word count: 1241

Warnings: fluff, Bucky failing at baking (he’s trying his best okay?), Bucky being a drama queen 

Summary: You convince Bucky to bake with you, but you didn’t know just how bad (or funny) it would be

A/N: HELLO! It’s been so long and I’ve missed you all! I was baking the other day and as I was doing it I was like wouldn’t it be funny if I wrote about Bucky failing in every way possible at baking? I don’t know I thought it would be funny and I had a ton of fun writing this! I hope it makes you laugh a little!

Main Masterlist

 Add yourself to my taglist!

————

Bucky had told you it would be a disaster. You just didn’t think it would be this bad.

Or nearly as funny

You had convinced your boyfriend to bake with you for the holidays, and he tried to tell you that he didn’t know what he was doing. How would he? He grew up in the Great Depression and his life was finally calming down now since he left the fight and settled down with you. He said he wouldn’t be of any help in the kitchen, but you had insisted that you would help him.

Call it a learning experience.

It was just cookies, how hard could it be?

Keep reading

[winter-soldier-vibes]

Cookie anon here! 🍪🍪🍪 I've missed you!!! 😭💖

Life has been insane- university life is crazy- but this is my last week before the semester is out!!! 🫂💖💕💕

Nice! Same here, I’m working on my final paper rn😭 everything has been honestly so insane for a while (which is why I haven’t written anything in a vv long time)

I hope the end of the semester goes good for you! Me personally I want Bucky to close my laptop and whisk me away for cuddles but…🙃

[winter-soldier-vibes]

★ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. It's time to spread positivity ✨

(also - sorry if i submitted this twice!)

🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

[winter-soldier-vibes]

Uhm... So it's been a few years but Cookie anon here 🍪🍪🍪💖

I promise I haven't forgotten about your blog! So much has freaking happened since I found your page-

But here I am- with an actual Tumblr account bc the website is always wonky-

So hi! Long time no talk 🥲

Hi cookie!!! Don’t worry about it, I haven’t been very active either. Tumblr really can get wonky can’t it? I’ve missed you, welcome back!

[winter-soldier-vibes]

🥺🥺💞🩵

[winter-soldier-vibes]

“I’m just the boy inside the man, not exactly who you think I am I’m just a speck inside your head, you came and made me who I am.”

- “Be somebody”, Thousand foot krutch

[winter-soldier-vibes]

Annual reblog

No because I paused the new grinch movie and I couldn’t help myself

It’s the same picture😂

[winter-soldier-vibes]

Writing used to be the thing I did best. The one thing I had, he one thing I was. Now the thought of opening a google docs sends me into a panic. I have so many words and none of them sound right. They don’t look right. They don’t feel right. My words aren’t right.

[winter-soldier-vibes]

[winter-soldier-vibes]

“I knew little else, but I always knew you.”

[winter-soldier-vibes]

😭

one step at a time. [blurb.]

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

summary | chris helps you calm down when you get anxious at a party.

pairing | friend!chris evans x reader

warnings | anxiety in social situation/public, soft!chris, hurt/comf

requested by anon | Blurb night! How about hurt/comfort for Chris (or Steve your choice) about social anxiety/fear of going out sort of thing!!

an | hey friend thanks for this request!! went with chris holy moly feels like it’s been forever since i wrote for him!!! hope you enjoy<3

“Y/n. You alright?” Chris’s deep voice startles you in the darkness of the empty hallway. Glancing up at him, a wave of embarrassment washes over you as you stand pathetically in the corner beside a fake potted plant, your entire body doing its best to melt away right into the floor.

“Oh- h-hey,” you stumble, quickly shoving your phone in your pocket as you try to make it seem like you haven’t been frozen in this position for the past hour with no courage to leave your tiny safe haven and insert yourself into the crowded party going on just down the hall.

“What are you doing out here? Everyone’s looking for you,” he questions, reaching over to the wall and flicking on the lights. As soon as the space is illuminated enough for him to properly see you, a concerned frown forms on Chris’s face. Taking a step forward, he asks again, “Hey, for real. Are you okay? You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“Oh, yeah. I-I’m fine,” you rush to assure him, but your voice comes out shaky against your best efforts of hiding your distress, and you can tell by the look on Chris’s face that he sees right through your lie.

“Y/n,” he says softly, offering you his hand. “You wanna come find something to drink with me? They’ve got sodas and water in the back room; there aren’t too many people in there, s'not as loud.”

“I-I don’t know, Chris. I’m sorry. I don’t know if I can go through there, not with all the noise,” you admit, bottom lip starting to tremble.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he soothes, running his thumb over the back of your hand comfortingly. “I’ll be with you the whole time, I promise. I won’t leave your side, not if you don’t want me to.”

“I’m sorry,” you mumble again, your gaze falling to the ground as your cheeks burn in shame.

“It’s alright, really,” Chris promises. “Believe me, I’m not always a big fan of the crowds either. But you really look like you need some water, sweetheart. Come on. Let’s go get some.”

Sucking in a deep breath, you swallow down the urge to resist. “Okay,” you finally agree after a few moments of silence, forcing yourself to look back up at the man standing in front of you. As your eyes meet his, a slight hint of relief settles within you as you find his expression to be filled with genuine concern and care.

“Alright, darlin’. Just one step at a time, okay? I’m right here with you.”

[winter-soldier-vibes]

“It won’t stop unless I do this” 💔

bedless | bucky barnes.

summary: relapsing wasn’t great, ever. but bucky’s is there.

word count: 2.4k

warnings: SELF HARM. i wrote this as a s/h comfort fic and that’s pretty much all it is. i’m serious if ur triggered by graphic descriptions of self harm please go find a different story.

author note: wrote this A LONG time ago on ao3 and i’m attempting to move all my storys to tumblr. so it’s probably really bad lol. i also wrote this when i was struggling but i’m 6 months clean now!! whoo!

You stare blankly into the distance of your bathroom, your eyes landing on nothing specifically, simply zoning out from the world around you. It was dark besides the blue-tinted night light plugged into the wall across from you. The floor below you was hard and cold, the expensive tile felt like stone under you as your limbs pulled close to your chest, you stayed deadly still. The aftermath ritual of relapsing. Moments ago you were dry heaving, tears streaming down your face as you desperately scratched away at your skin trying to find that small blade hidden away in attempts you'd forget. Your mind was racing so fast that you couldn’t keep track of a single thought for more than a second, and it wouldn't stop. And now, you sit in a weird comfortable peace, face dry of tears and incredibly tired. Your limbs burned from your self-inflicted torture but you couldn't be bothered to focus on it.

Today hadn't been a hard day exactly. Actually, it had been a relatively good week, but these things just creep up on you like that. Ended up with you coming to the alternative that wasn't exactly smart but you trusted it, it has worked before. You ignored Thor calling you down for dinner, it wasn't an unusual thing for an avenger to refuse and miss out. Everyone was dealing with their own shit. You hoped no one would notice your absence. But when have you ever been right before?

Your bathroom door was slightly cracked open, but it was slowly nudged further open as you heard a soft knock at your door. A familiar gruff voice called your name. It was Bucky, Bucky's room was across from yours and you both shared a small kitchen and common area as you two were the only ones on the floor of Starks enormous tower. You suffered from insomnia and he suffered from horrible night terrors that left him screaming awake. So naturally, the two of you found comfort in each other, whether it be sharing a bed for the night or being in each other's presence in the kitchen or living room in the dead of night when neither of you could bear to sleep. Bucky wasn't foreign to your addiction, to him walking in on your aftermath ritual of dissociating on a cold, hard floor.

“Doll?” his voice sounded worried from the other side of the door. You couldn't bear to tear your eyes away from whatever you were staring at, or even muster up a small noise as a response. You didn't move. Nonetheless, he pushed the rest of your door open, and right as he came into view you were void of your trance. Your eyes snapped to him. Bucky stood with his vibranium hand gripping the doorknob, his metal finger wrapped tighter as he processed the sight of you. His eyes were wide and worried, and a wave of terror flashed across his face.

You only bow your head in shame, you couldn’t look at him and see how disgust and disappointment filled his face. Bucky's footsteps ascended towards you, you wanted to yell and push him away and lock the door and never let anyone back in but, you were tired and he was much stronger than you. So you continued to sit still until the flesh warmth of Bucky's hand rose to your face, directing you to look at him. His face showed so many emotions you couldn't begin to suspect what he was feeling. He was just staring into your eyes, those perfect ocean blue eyes. He slowly shook his head disapprovingly.

You blinked, once, twice. Your throat croaked as you attempted to apologize to the man in front of you but nothing came out.

Your eyes diverted down again, you felt on fire under his stare. “Do I need to take you to the med wing?”

He asked this question every time, and you always shot your head up and would rapidly shake your head and beg him not to carry you away to be fixed by an unfamiliar doctor and have to bear the disapproving looks of anyone you saw in the hall. And word gets around fast in the tower to by the end of the night everyone would know of your damage.

“Bucky.” your voice came out hoarse but quick. “Please don't make me go, please.” He just looked back at you, leaving you unanswered. His hand still held steady on your face, he was squatting down to your height. The silence was deafening but as soon as you were about to make up some excuse for your relapse, his hand left your face and the warmth left your body with it making you feel cold and weak once again.

“Same place as last time?’ Bucky asked but it sounded more like a statement than a question as he opened a cabinet and grabbed bandages and your usual stuff to clean the open wounds on your arms.

You didn't usually clean yourself up after, besides just getting water and cleaning up extra blood. All your life you left the scars untreated. You were never sure if you did this as an extra way of torture, letting the sting of the cuts linger longer or because that meant the marks would be more apparent for longer, leaving a reminder for you all the time. The first time Bucky had walked in on you, he ran to bruce's lab and back after you begged and pleaded with him not to take you to the med bay. And he came back with enough bandages to cover your wounds and then by the next day you found a box of bandages and tape as well as hydrogen peroxide to clean your wounds sitting on your bed in a Walgreens bag. A small gesture that weirdly made you want to do it less, but you would never tell Bucky that.

Bucky turned back to you with a bottle and cotton pads in his hands, he sat across from you on the bathroom floor. Your eyes averted away from his face, you couldn't hide the embarrassment on your face, you felt like a little kid that made a mess just for someone else to unrightfully clean it up for you.

“Sweetheart, I need you to look at me.” his soft voice rang through your head, and as much as you didn't want to you obeyed. Your eyes traveled up Bucky's face to meet with his blue eyes, he looked tired and upset and suddenly another way of guilt went through you. “I'm going to clean this up, okay?” he waited patiently for your response, you just nodded tiredly. “This is going to sting, just tell me if it's too much, and I’ll stop.”

Slowly, Bucky grabbed your arm from your lap and he began running the clothes across the wounds. You watched the blood wash away just for it to keep coming up from the lines you created. You bit your lip, you felt like you were going to cry out but you were simply too drained to shed another tear.

“Look at me.” bucky said, “I need you to look at me.”

You tore your eyes away from your wrist and met with his eyes once again. His icy blue eyes that you could get lost in, as cheesy as it sounds, you just genuinely could stare at him all day just to drown in the ocean he had for eyes. Bucky Barnes was an incredibly attractive man, you would not deny that, and almost every person on the planet would agree with you. Women swooned for him left and right in the 40s, as Steve would retell stories of their past life decades ago. But there was truly something so different about him. The shape of his nose and the hollow of his cheeks, his jawline looked like it was sculpted by the gods, and his smile. Oh god, his smile was such a beautiful and rare thing. During the past months of being close, you would sometimes do anything to get a good genuine smile out of him, even if it mean embarrassing yourself in the process.

“You're staring, dear,” Bucky spoke, and you looked down to see your arm had already been wrapped in the white bandages. Damn, had you been staring at him that long?

“You told me to look at you, not my fault.” shrugging your shoulders, beginning to pull your arm back to you but Bucky's grip tightened. Not enough to hurt you but enough just to keep you from pulling away from him. A moment of silence fell between you before he brought your arm up to his lips and he placed a gentle kiss on your bandaged skin. He looked back up to you before shifting his weight so he could lean in and continue to place another kiss on your forehead. The warmth spreads through you and makes you feel lighter and slightly better.

“I'm disappointed in you, doll,” he whispered. you nodded in agreement, knowing he should be. “You need to understand how much this hurts me too, everytime I see you like this, it hurts me so much because I care about you more than you imagine.”

He spoke clearly and genuinely, the words hit you hard in the chest. Making you feel equally better knowing he cared but also worst because you hurt him, one of the things in life you actively attempt to avoid. His eyes turned glossy and he swallowed hard and, suddenly your throat went dry again. You couldn’t speak a word of a response so you just bow your head again, averting eye contact so speaking to bucky would feel less intimidating.

“It has to hurt, it won't stop unless I do this.” you choked out, waterworks started up once again and the tears started streaming. “I'm sorry, buck. I just never know what else to do.”

Bucky grabbed you gently and pulled you into him, feeling his warmth more closely. He shushed you softly and wiped away the tears from your cheek as he placed another kiss on the top of your head. Holding you close to his chest, you would faintly hear his heartbeat over your racing thoughts, bringing you down back to earth as you focused on the beats of his chest. Eventually, you calmed down completely but bucky didn't let you go yet, he still held you close. He was slightly rocking you back and forth as he rubbed your back with his metal arm.

“Can you sit still and be good for a moment? I need to grab something real quick, sweetheart.” he pulled away just far enough so he could see your face. He wiped away whatever tears remained on your face. Bucky gave you a small reassuring smile as you nodded while mumbling a quiet agreement.

And soon enough he got up and the warmth of his body left you again feeling empty and you slumped back into the wall behind you. You felt so drained and limp you could have fallen unconscious right here an now. The quietness of the room felt intimating, it was so easy for you to grow accustomed to Bucky’s presence that it terrified you. You wondered if he would lie and leave and not come back, finally getting fed up with your self-destruction and cleaning up your messes. You wouldn’t blame him for it, leaving you, you didn't believe you deserves an ounce of his care. He was an ex-assassin and struggling to come back from being brainwashed to do horrible things without a choice, while now being in a new time, having to adjust to a new world. He needed to focus on himself and take time to recover. Not take care of you. But as soon as you were about to convince yourself Bucky wasn't coming back and that you did in fact deserved it he came through the bathroom door again, with a bowl in his hands.

You tilt your head, your eyebrows furrowed together in confusion to see a bowl of ice in his hands as he sets it down in between the two of you. bucky sits down next to you and grabs ahold of your unbandaged arm. “If it absolutely has to hurt,” he grabs a couple of cubes of ice and puts them in your hand to hold. “Holding ice for a while usually leaves a sting.”

As your fingers wrapped around the cold cubes in your hand, you waited and as he said, it left a small sting. You held it in your warm, sweaty hands until it melted and grabbed another fistful. Your eyes traveled up to Bucky’s face to see he was already looking at you with loving eyes.

“Bucky..” you began to speak, but your words fell short and nothing came out.

He sighed, “I'm not going to tell you to stop, because I understand what you’re feeling.” he paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts before continuing. “But I really care about you and it hurts knowing you have to harm yourself to feel better.”

“I'm sorry,” you said, was all you could think to say to him at this moment. You dropped the rest of the ice into the bowl and shoved it aside and shifted, trying to scoot your drained body close to bucky. “I'm sorry that I hurt you.”

Bucky blinked a few times before grabbing your face again and giving you another comforting kiss on your forehead. Both vibranium and flesh hands raised to hold your face, pulling all your attention onto him.

“Promise me that next time you feel like this. come to my room and ill take care of you, doll” he spoke sincerely. His eyes sparkled with admiration it almost made you want to cry.

You raised a shaky hand and stuck out your pinky finger in front of him. “Pink promise.”

Bucky's eyes shot from your face to your hand, and a small smile crept onto his face at your gesture. But nonetheless, he took his flesh hand in yours, repeating the line before both of you locked it with a kiss on the hand.

“Now let's get you to bed.”

And with that Bucky helped you up, guiding you slowly to your bedroom. He asked you if you wanted to change out of your clothes, and you just explained to him how tired you were and you flopped onto the bed. After tucking yourself comfortably under your blanket and settling to your side, Bucky followed after tugging off his shirt. His arms wrapped around you as he began to speak sweet nothings into the back of your head as you dozed off into sleep.

[winter-soldier-vibes]

For the insomniacs 💞

Bad Night

Bucky x reader

Word count: drabble

A/N: Trying to write out a lot of little snippets like this that are easier to digest. trying to figure out taglists with shorter ones like these. Feedback appreciated :)

------

The door creaks open slowly. 

You hold your breath, stifling the sniffles and praying that he can’t hear your racing heart or see the trembling of your body. You were laid in bed, back to the doorway. A small amount of light from the hallway fills the previously dark room.

It’s silent for a few moments before you hear the door close, the room darkening again. It takes his eyes a few moments to adjust before he moves, soft footsteps coming over to the bed. He thinks you're asleep, and you’d like to keep it that way.

You hear the shuffling of him changing his clothes, trying to breathe slowly so he doesn’t hear how your tears have caused your nose to run. It’s getting harder so you try to sniffle quietly, hoping he doesn’t hear it.

He does, and the shuffling stops.

You hold your breath again, praying he doesn’t say anything. Because if he did you knew you would cry and you would not be able to stop. 

“Y/n?” he whispers. 

You clench your eyes closed, biting your lip.

“Y/n, are you okay?”

You let out a small whimper as silent sobs began to wrack your body. You turned to hide your face in the pillow.

“Hey, hey,” he says, circling around the bed and crouching down beside you, “What’s going on?”

Bucky’s hand comes up to brush some hair out of your face, hushing you softly and leaning in to kiss your forehead. 

“It’s okay, you’re okay. Whatever it is, it's gonna be okay. Just have a rough day?” he asks softly, brushing a tear away with his thumb. 

You open your mouth to speak but no words come out.

Bucky sighs, nodding a little to himself.

“That’s okay, we don’t have to talk about it. Do you want me to just hold you for a while?”

You nodded a little, and he pressed another feather light kiss to your forehead. “Ok, just give me one second.” He stood up and went back to his side of the bed, pulling the covers back and getting in behind you. You felt the bed dip as he laid down, moving closer to you before he wrapped his arms around you, pulling your back to meet his chest. He pressed a kiss to your shoulder and nuzzles his nose in your neck.

“I’m right here, y/n. I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.”