#if I was jewish this specific thing wouldn't be happening to me right now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

curio-queries · 4 months

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Hi I'm reaching out re. your post on the bts-polls blog, since you redirected people to contact you here. I'm not the same anon who sent the other ask. I understand your reasoning for personally choosing to continue engaging with HP fandom, that's your choice and it's fine as long as you don't contribute to JKR financially. I guess I'm just adding one more trans ARMY voice to say that seeing casual references to HP and other Rowling works immediately gives me a bad feeling and makes me feel unsafe and alienated in the community. I'm also Jewish, so JKR's recent holocaust denial and her support of neo-nazis like Kellie-Jay Keen-Minshul add to this feeling exponentially. This issue is related to so much trauma and ongoing abuse that it's honestly triggering to see 'fun' references to that material as if nothing's happening.

I know it's probably 'not that deep' to most people, but small things like this mean there's one more space where the majority can be comfortable, but I automatically can't take part... in the end it's your choice, but since that blog seems to be aiming to be somewhat of a 'community' space rather than a personal blog I thought it might be relevant for you to hear how people feel.

You seem like a thoughtful person, and I appreciate the arguments you made in your other post. I hope this doesn't come across as attacking you or trying to stir up drama, these are just my honest feelings. Also I'm not saying you should personally cut HP out of your life, I understand there are ways of engaging in a fandom that don't involve supporting the original creator. Thanks for listening!

Hello Anon,

I apologize that this has taken me ages to answer. I haven't been able to spend much time in tumblr-land recently but this topic deserves more than an off-the-cuff response.

For any of you that are not familiar, anon is referencing this post. I'll put the rest of my response below a cut so that anyone not up for further discussion on this topic can bypass:

First, I want to thank you for reaching out. The only way most of us learn how deeply affected by events is if we share, but I know it can be a very difficult thing to do. I don't know if I'm the right person to really do anything specifically on this topic, but I can absolutely share a little bit more about my thoughts.

So, professionally, I'm a technical systems subject matter expert. And it's impossible for me to hear about something without trying to narrow it down to the root cause to resolve there. Yes, there are also actions to be taken to fix the immediate problem, but if the source is left alone, it's going to continue happening.

So, if that won't resolve the problem, what will? In my mind there are two possibilities:

To me, the root cause of the issue isn't this specific woman, it's much bigger than that. Because if we were to remove her specifically as an issue, there would just be someone else spouting the same junk, maybe with less of a following, maybe more.

1. Not allowing people to form and share their own opinions on issues like this. After all, if we HAD to comply to a collective moral standing, then we'd all be on the same page and there wouldn't be all this suffering, right? Hopefully everyone reading this knows why that would be a BAD IDEA even if was possible. I'm not going to go into detail here but if anyone reading this has any doubts, we definitely can!

2. Stop giving power to the words of people that have no authority. This is honestly one of my biggest issues with celebrity culture. Period. Why on earth do the opinions of someone who has absolutely no expertise on an issue carry so much weight in our society?

I'll give y'all an example: Let's say BTS states that they enjoyed seeing the purple streetlights so now we should repave all roads everywhere in the world purple. Not only would this be a logistical nightmare there would be significant ramifications regarding safety and economically. BTS has no expertise in city planning or road safety. 'But they've been all over the world and seen how happy people are when they're surrounded by purple, we should listen to them!' No, we shouldn't correlation is not causation. If there is to be any benefit gained from such a change, it would need to be researched and trialed by actual subject matter experts. Idk, this example is pretty convoluted but hopefully you get my point?

Anyway, now that we've established that fame is not a good enough reason to give weight to someone's opinion, it just becomes a skill issue of recognizing when to listen/disregard and how to implement it on a large scale. Let's face it, both are difficult issues to tackle. The lines definitely get blurry about who has valuable contributions vs who is just the loudest voice. Especially with the ease that anyone can have access to a platform, there's very little threshold to finding countless individuals sharing 'facts' about issues of which they have absolutely no knowledge. I think all of us have seen that first hand in the BTS fandom so I won't list any examples.

So, the first challenge is how we discern the value from the noise. I am personally a huge believer in non-traditional education, so you can't just rely on the alphabet soup of degrees list after people's names either. The next hurdle is getting the majority to start doing this as well so that value is attributed to the correct people and not those who have no business with it. And that is what SHOULD be society's goal overall (in my opinion).

I truly believe that everyone is entitled to have and share their views and opinions but that doesn't mean we have to continue to listen or give value to what they say once we've realized they don't align with what is actually good for us.

To finally circle back to this before-named woman and the hateful ideas she shares, I genuinely don't understand why anyone continues to listen to what she's spouting, with one exception. When a creator shares a viewpoint that is malicious of intent, I think the created work should be evaluated to determine if there is an ulterior influence that can be gleaned from new audiences. Like I said in my post before, personally the effect that the Harry Potter world has had on me and the people in my immediate circles has done far more to foster overall inclusion and understanding of marginalized groups than pretty much anything. It was one of the few things to get past the heavily conservative religious viewpoints in the community that became a gathering point for those of us who didn't conform to the norms.

The great irony in all of this is the parallel that can be drawn between the author and the main villain who literally went insane breaking his soul apart for the gain of power. Perhaps she should spend more time reading her own work?

Anyway anons, I hope both of you are able to find some healing from the trauma these issues keep bringing up. I'm grateful you've entrusted me to share your concerns. I do think it's important to keep learning and growing from each other's experiences in a positive way rather than the heavy handed 'how dare you not comply to my specific viewpoint and conclusions on a nuanced issue' approach.

#non-bts post #harry potter

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im-not-your-nice-jewish-boy · 6 months

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look in a mirror

I've taken some time to think about this, and I've decided that I'm done with giving the benefit of the doubt here.

I remember listening to another Jewish person talk about why she doesn't write about the Shoah, specifically her saying "I can feel the weight of my ancestors" near the end. And you know what? She's right. Every time I think about the Holocaust, about how the entire world turned their backs on us Jews and the Romani beside us, I feel that loss to my core. You can't escape the scars of that time as a Jew. It becomes part of the double helix of your genes like the will to survive that keeps us here despite everyone wishing we weren't whether they say it out loud or not.

With that in mind: fuck Caelan Conrad and all their ilk

A hearty shut your mouth and consider your life to everyone who tries to appropriate the Holocaust like it's some kind of badge of honor or a fucking game.

For people who spend so much time laughing at the people who you say want to be oppressed so badly, you're doing something that's exactly the same. Is it not enough for you, the state of the world when it comes to the threat to the lgbtqia+ community? Only I'm painfully aware that it's not that. It's the fact that you, yes you oh passionate defender of human rights, want so very badly to not have to think about how much you hate Jews. You want so very badly to erase that the Holocaust was about the Jews and the Romani far more than it was about queer people.

And before you get started with that: I am queer

I am trans

I am gay

I am on the asexual spectrum

Those are all important things about me, yes, but when I think about the Shoah, I don't think about my status as a queer person. You know what I think of? The fact that people in my family died. The fact that if that hadn't happened, I probably wouldn't be in the American part of the diaspora. The fact that there are still fewer Jewish people in the world now and somehow people still act like "oh, it was forever ago" and "it wasn't really that bad".

Fuck you

Like I've said before: you've stolen enough from us

You don't get to steal our trauma, our murders, our ghosts, our bones

You don't get to act like that was about you

The Holocaust isn't a fucking statement; it was a tragedy played across the entire world focused primarily on the wholesale slaughter of the Jewish people and the Romani people

It is something we still feel to this day

Take your thieving, sticky fucking fingers far away and keep them to yourself until you learn to stop taking shit that isn't yours

You claim to be so much better than organizations like the catholic church?

How about you act like it then and stop pulling the same moves they did when it comes to your antisemitism; this is one of the oldest dirty moves in the book and it doesn't look any better on you than it did on them

#antisemitism #cultural appropriation #tw shoah #historical revisionism #jewish history #the holocaust isn't about you #never forget #never again #am yisrael chai #whether you like it or not #leftist antisemitism #leftist hypocrisy #this is spicier than is probably wise #i don't really care #fuck you people

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man-down-in-hatchet-town · 1 year

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Everything You Want

If you ever needed proof that I really love Shipwrecked, here it is: I tore myself away from Hatchetfield on NPMD RELEASE DAY (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) to put down some thoughts on Greater Gatsby, episode 7. As always, spoilers below the cut.

(Before we jump into that, though, MASSIVE shout out to Curt Mega for this podcast, Nerdy Prudes, and Pulp Musicals. He's worked on almost everything that's keeping me going right now. Man of the Season. Thank you for your service, sir.)

Okay, I got to say it. Ford suggesting that Peter Lorre, an ethnically Jewish guy who had to flee Nazi Germany, isn't used to hate mail was... a choice on his part. But the running gag of celebrities taking threats as complements is genuinely one of the best gags in the series so far.

So the writer of the letters is going after adaptions. The further we get into this, the more I start to wonder if these letters are really just an old-timey viral advertising campaign. If you build up this whole, buzzy, real-world-intrigue story about beloved actors being threatened for appearing in adaptions, you know what will happen when such adaptions come out? Ticket sails will soar. People will want to be part of the narrative, to see the movie Jimmy Stewart or Wilhelmina Vanderjetski put their life on the line to make. And someone in the business threatening other people's lives just to increase profits is thematically just the sort of thing that would exist alongside Ford Phillips and his hatred of the cynical, exploitative Hollywood system.

But the problem there is, what would that have to do with F. Scott's murder? There's got to be a reason both these cases are part of the same story. Perhaps Fitzgerald somehow found out in his deep-dive into Hollywood secrets, and the letter writer killed him to keep him quiet. It's not a worthy motive, but most aren't, and the greed at the top of the ladder knows no bounds. Or maybe the letters are being sent out by someone connected to the movie but unrelated to the murderer in order to specifically market a rewritten Greater Gatsby and further capitalize on Fitzy's death--make it seem like he died for the art. But then again, the public doesn't know he was even murdered in the first place...

Or maybe I'm flat-out wrong about the whole marketing angle. Really, the most obvious answer is that Greater Gatsby was basically an adaption, and the writer of the letters genuinely hates such movies. They threatened Fitzy, then simply followed through. But that falls apart if you look a little deeper. Beyond "hatred of adaptions" being the silliest reason to kill someone, such events would imply a pattern of the writer murdering a victim before moving onto the next and that hasn't held up. So maybe F. Scott was being threatened to stop work on his film by someone who had a secret to protect. The situation spun out of control, our threatener killed Fitzgerald, and is now writing all of those threats as a distraction. That way, if the threats he/she ever sent to Fitzgerald were found, investigators wouldn't see through to the real motive behind them.

Meanwhile, all of the celebrity cameos were very fun and silly, but didn't tell us much other than give the slightest glimpse into why Ford hates Jimmy Stewart so much (still perfect character lore). We got another mention of Eugene from the Punchwhistle twins, definitely making him feel less like flavor and more like set-up. And do we think Rex's perfect recall is going to come back, or was just a device for this one scene? In Ford's personal orbit, it sounds like Bixby's quest to fix his financial issues has gotten him into real trouble. There's clearly something clandestine about the group he's renting the backroom out to, and their potential relevance to Mo, one of the few people to see Fitzy's body, is another point in favor of that group connecting back to our murdered author. I still think they're working on remaking Greater Gatsby in secret.

Speaking of secrets, we don't know where Barnaby was the night of Fitzgerald's murder, or why he's lying about it. He could be the murderer, he could have also been having an affair as well... I gotta tell you guys, Barnaby might be one of my favorites but I wouldn't trust him with a moldy piece of bread. The way he stabbed Ford in the back and then instantly came to him for help because someone else was untrustworthy? What a guy. (He's right about the cops, though. Don't trust the fuzz.)

Regardless, it looks like Fig and Ford are setting their sights on Darby. I doubt she's the one behind the letters but I'm hoping we'll start to get answers about her "book club" and whatever the hell Bixby's gotten himself into...

#also sorry I think this one is the longest yet #but I got the fandom brain rot sooooo #Fig and Ford #shipwrecked comedy #the case of the greater gatsby #ford phillips #Barnaby Nightingale #Bixby

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cjlinton · 2 years

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January 2023 Recap: Read, Played, Watched, Listened

January flew by! One of my goals for this year is to more proactively talk about art that I��m engaging, so here’s a recap of January, as best I can remember.

Read

It was a pretty relentless couple weeks at work (keeping things running solo while my boss was out for two weeks), so less reading than I would have liked.

★ = favorite/most recommended

Books

Bad Jews: A History of American Jewish Politics and Identities by Emily Tamkin The Candy House by Jennifer Egan Bloodstone Cowboy by Kara Jackson ★

Short Stories

"Alex Adams, the Dyke Who Wouldn't Grow Up," Marisa Crane in The Adroit Journal "The Narrative Implications of Your Untimely Death," by Isabel J. Kim in Lightspeed Magazine "Digital Faggot Suicide Heaven," by Jay Dragon on Patreon

Articles

Notable/subject-specific, beyond general news.

"Greener School Playgrounds Are An Overlooked Climate Solution," Marianne Dhenin for Next City ★ "LA’s Transit Infrastructure Can Always Get Dumber: Meet the Gondola," Kate Gallagher for Knock LA "The Mixed-Race Fantasy Behind Kawaii Aesthetics," Erica Kanesaka for Catapult "The Brilliance of Photographer Kadar Small's Black Queer Kisses," Wren Sanders for them ★ "These Were The Most Popular Books At D.C.-Area Libraries This Year," Colleen Grablick for DCist

Played

TTRPGs

All campaigns this month, and all games I’ve played before. Hoping to get in at least a one-shot in February—if scheduling works out I’ll get to play Nobilis, which I’m pretty excited for.

Cyberpunk: RED (4 sessions) Lancer (1 session)

Board Games

Currently tracking ahead of my unserious goal to play fifty-two different board games this year!

Doomlings (x3) Dominion The Crew: Deep Sea Mission Imohotep Terraforming Mars

Watched

tv and live performance is currently combined, but this will hopefully be broken out into categories in future months. People never take me seriously when I say I really would like to watch more tv, but I feel I'm missing out on some of the best media happening right now by watching so little of it as a category.

Episodes 12-14, Season 1 of The Unsleeping City "Empathy Bonus," Episode 2 of The Peripheral The Tempest, dir. Aaron Posner and Teller at Round House Theatre

Music (Just the Favorites)

I listen to far too much music to do a comprehensive recap, but here were some of my very favorites on repeat this month.

Albums

A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO FAKING YOUR DEATH – Jhariah Victory Lap (Deluxe Edition) – Propagandhi

Songs

"What If It Doesn’t End Well" – chloe moriondo "DEVIL AT THE CROSSROADS" – Ho99o9 "Lost Angeles" – The Aces "Debt Collector" – Jhariah "you’d never know" – BLÜ EYES "Dutch" – Dessa "Syrup" – Tkay Maidza "Mundane Magic" – A Story Told

#2023 #media recap #recommendations #i'll talk about dungeon23 in a different post when I have time to type it up

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why-am-i-here-just-to-suffer · 2 years

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intro post?

ok so I'm not really sure what to put here so I guess I'll just put some stuff about me and my interests

agender xe/it/they

aroace apl

I have never had nor am I interested in sex or a romantic relationship. I don't know how repulsed I would be if I actually tried. There definitely would be a lot of sensory problems. Sometimes I reblog allo stuff because it's funny though.

I don't consider myself loveless but I don't really understand what it means to "love" someone platonically beyond just feeling strong empathy for everyone around me, and sometimes enjoying the company of certain people. Like I could talk with someone about shared interests and have a really good time, and do stuff with them all the time, but if they were to suddenly disappear from my life I wouldn't have any desire to go back to them kind of thing. I don't ever get the desire to seek out and interact with specific people who I am "friends" with.

ADHD/autism, low-medium support needs

Ashkenazi Jewish

While many of the issues that I comment on or reblog about do not directly affect me, I'm a radical inclusionist by nature and I care (probably way too much for my own good) about the well-being of other people. I do not aim to comment on any one specific issues and I do not currently have the mental capacity to be a proper advocate about any one specific issue.

Special interests (TW infodump):

FOSS (free and open source software) philosophy as a political movement

User freedom and privacy; software that is written in the interest of the user rather than the developer

Rampant mass surveillance that the public turns a blind eye to. In the EU, there are privacy regulations for corporate, but you still often times find governments doing pretty bad things. In the U.S., corporate mass surveillance is arguably on the scale of a dictatorship like China or North Korea. It's still there, just much less in-your-face. And yes, there are in fact problems with this. "I have nothing to fear because I have nothing to hide" is such a stupid argument. How do you know when the Powers that Be decide to change what is allowed? Suddenly you do have something to hide. What are you going to do now? I'm sure it's an issue that a large portion of this site worries about, y'know, being full of a plethora of different minority populations.

Freedom as in the user gets to decide how to use the software, not the developer. Most proprietary software contains artificial limitations that have been implemented purely to exercise control over the user. This is Richard Stallman's Freedom 0.

Collaborative, communal development not for the purpose of making money, but for the purpose of making a tool to do the job. That tool is then shared with everyone for free so that anyone can work to improve it or use it as a jumping off point for their own work. Under a software license like the GNU GPL, if you fork a piece of software and create your own derivative, and you want to share that derivative to others, you are legally required to share the code to the changes you made. That's what makes such licenses so powerful. Collaboration and sharing isn't optional; it's compulsory. And it should be, because working together as a whole society by pooling our time and knowledge is always better than competing with one another for the same goal.

As should be obvious by now, FOSS ideology is inherently very left wing, but it gets co-opted a lot by right-wingers who use "privacy" and "freedom" as dog whistles for "I get to post hate speech and incite violence online without personal repercussions. Oh, if it weren't for the consequences of my actions!" They completely ignore the fact that FOSS is literally communism as a development model.

Some people will advocate for FOSS from a freedom perspective, like Richard Stallman, the founder of the Free Software Foundation itself, did, (Yes, there was a whole bunch of stuff concerning his reputation that happened but most of that was proven to be false. Of course Stallman's a little crazy. He wouldn't have started what he did if he wasn't.) and some people will advocate for it from a practical, leftist perspective, like Eric Raymond, author of "The Cathedral and the Bazaar." (who has sadly since gone Q crazy, but that doesn't change the validity of what he said before.) The reality is that both perspectives are equally important.

the Right to Repair movement, which is very similar to FOSS on a practical level. It targets hardware such as electronics, vehicles, medical equipment, farming equipment, etc. Right to Repair does not ask for $0 products (and neither does FOSS. You can still make money with FOSS. Look at companies like Canonical and Red Hat.), but rather for the ability to legally obtain parts and documentation so that consumers can fix things themselves. Electrical schematics, documentation, and diagrams should be made available to the public in some capacity at all, even if they need to be paid for. Right now you can't even pay most companies to get them. It differs ideologically from FOSS because it doesn't really care about collaboration and sharing. It simply states that you should have the legal right to fix your property.

Unix systems

CLIs (command line interfaces) are superior for almost all purposes. I might not even bother with a GUI if I could run a usable web browser in a TTY. w3m gets the closest with support for rendering images, but still no JavaScript.

I often stim by fidgeting with the command line. Visual from what's going on on the screen and tactile from the keyboard. Don't ask.

Proper package management systems. Imagine an app store, but the entire operating system including core components, libraries and applications are installed and updated through one central system, pulling from one central repository. On your desktop computer. It hurts me every time I need to go look up a website and download a package or executable installer. There's Chocolatey and WinGet for Windows and homebrew for macOS but it's still nowhere near as good as a proper implementation.

---

Hardware,I especially enjoy learning about much older 8 and 16-bit machines because there's much less abstraction between hardware and software and it is much easier to visualize and understand what is happening at a very low level that you just don't see on a modern system. Even with a microcontroller like an Arduino there is still a ton of abstraction going on and you just don't get the same learning experience that you would building a project raw with a 6502 and some logic chips.

I'm not really that into programming but sometimes I'll do a little shell scripting. Why do tedious, repetitive work in a graphical interface when a couple lines of code logic suffice?

The history surrounding the development of computers and software is also really interesting to me. There's a multipage infodump that I am omitting here.

Most other general stuff about computers is interesting to me

Feel free to ask me about any of this stuff but there's no guarantee that what I respond with will be even remotely intelligible.

Also THANKS TUMBLR EDITOR for making it literally impossible to make hierarchical lists. They seem to render in the editor but then they disappear when you click post.

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rubykgrant · 7 months

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Hi! Anon from the other time. Thank you for your response!! I was just curious cause it was kinda worrying that it was being used on posts about active genocides? Not trying to start anything!! but regardless of anxiety or not.. it's still a bit odd? considering that people not living in the active genocide are trying their best to have their voices heard but they're getting limited because its uncomfortable for the people not having to go through those struggles..

I hope this makes sense? I just wanted you to know it feels a bit insensitive.. Again not trying to start anything I just felt off seeing such a tag given the situation.. I thought it might be good to know that it can come off that way

I appreciate what you are saying anon, and thank you again for the kindness in your concern, but the tag isn't so somebody can filter posts regarding current (or previous) "genocides". I re-blog plenty of posts that talk about Palestine, or other issues in the world, and I DON'T use that tag for them. Again, I'm hesitant to explain this in a way that won't make sense, because it isn't MY personal issue, but the tag is more for any kind of post that has text similar to "You better reblog this" or "You have to share this right now", and this includes those posts that are just games- "If you see this post, you HAVE to reblog with your favorite movie!" or art posts that imply "Don't just like this, I want reblogs!" and so-on. Some people use the tag "reblog bait" for the silly posts, but they will also use it for legit donation posts... and I personally don't like calling a donation post "bait". So, for the one person who requested it, I use a tag they can filter only when it applies, but I still share important posts, and use tags that makes sense.

To be clear, I think it is VERY important to share news about what is going on in the world, and to ignore it all just because it sounds "uncomfortable" isn't fair. The tragedy is intense, and it should be acknowledged. Still, if I shared a post about a genocide that included pictures of people who have been harmed, I would still use tags that apply- "blood" or "death mention", for example. Some people filter tags like that because they've lived through violence themselves, and there are even people who are personally connected to the genocides happening right now who at least want a little warning/consideration before they see something especially harsh. I'm not going to fault somebody who isn't white for filtering the tags for "racism", or a Jewish person for filtering tags about "antisemitism", or a survivor of sexual assault for filtering tags about "rape". However, it is still important to learn about these things and share them (I make the choice to get over whatever might make me uncomfortable and still share important posts, because HOPEFULLY it can help somehow, and it isn't all about ME. I can't control what other people care about, but I can still share things that either have information about a tragedy, advice on how to give donations, or positivity and hope).

Once more, that particular tag is NOT for Palestine in general, any "genocides", or even violence/bigotry; it is for a specific person who has expressed to me an issue with text like "This post must be reblogged", even jokingly. I can't tag for EVERY issue or potential trigger that exists (because that's literally everything; I don't mean that in a mocking way, triggers are serious, even if it sounds like something "silly"- and they can be anything, for a multitude of reasons), but this was something that was shared and discussed with me, so I try to be understanding. I also try to tag for well-known and intense issues. Sometimes I over-correct myself and add a tag to certain posts, just in case it applies... but I wouldn't want to ignore donation/helpful posts altogether, or anything that shares important information. The world is full of horrible things that shouldn't be ignored, but also wonderful things that deserve to be known.

I know you aren't trying to be confrontational, and I understand why you were worried. I definitely agree with your intentions; painful subjects should still be shared. I'm sorry for replying with so much text, I didn't want to sound like I didn't take this seriously, or miss something... and I don't want to over-step by explaining and issue another person has, or make them feel guilty for not "defending" themselves (and I'll say again; the tag in question isn't for genocides, just certain text/tone in various posts). Thank you for checking anon, I think you are genuinely very conscientious~

#anon #ask #answer

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konshock · 1 year

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The annoying conflict of "doing nice things and not expecting things in return" vs "did nice thing and got nothing in return so now i wanna do less nice things (for that group)"

Keep cooking for my roommates and going off vibes, they haven't done anything that they wouldn't have done anyways (specifically just inviting me to things if i happen to be in the room while they plan it.)

While i figure out the recent rejection axiety/mild autism self-diagnosis, I'm starting to realize that some people just... care less? About social stuff? They'll forget you as soon as you're out of the room, and ditch plans they made three days ago, and neither is that big of a deal to them. And none of it's malicious, but... still sucks.

Ugh i gotta get better at keeping these on topic. I only started this cause i saw there's a jewish holiday recently, thought about making babka, and realized i didn't have anyone to share it with that would particularly appreciate it. Or appreciate isn't the right word, but... idk, give anything in return at any point. Not as payment, i don't need equivalences, just as a token "i see you put skill and creative effort into something, here's something i put skill and creative effort into in return"

For a dash more adhd i have no idea why everyone doesn't know how to cook better. Everyone gotta eat every day on this bitch of an earth, might as well figure out how to make cook well, so you don't need to live off delivery and frozen food, and for the sake of your tongue, your gut, and your wallet.

#konpost #diary

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quinn-fucks-shit-up · 2 years

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look, ik dreams are boring, and literally no one ever wants to hear about them, but this one was actually quite freaky and I think someone out there would like to hear it

so it was the ddlc style Pokémon game, where all your Pokémon were anime women, one of them, (blue hair slight build, flowing white robes, that one medic staff thing as a full staff) had moves that healed the whole party (and a couple stat buff moves), but also some heavy damage ones, so she was a pretty good character to end a fight off

the thing is, all of her moves involved her reading Bible quotes (don't fuckn ask me why my brain did this, I'm fully Jewish), and if you try to switch her out for any other 'pokemon' she freaks the fuck out and glitches

this is where the ddlc comes in, she doesn't go back to her 'pokeball' right away and she says something like "am I.... not good enough....?" black stuff starts obstructing her eyes, she appears upsidedown for a frame, fire can happen in the background in small fits and bursts.

the next move you have to use one of her moves, the recall button is smashed. all of her moves are also glitched, instead of names like 'Heal them' you have 'Kill them', or, 'Forgiveness' to 'Punishment', stuff like that

the moves now have a 50% chance of doing a 'cursed' version (100% on the first use, might drop down to 25% after and climb to 50% after each cursed use, I don't remember) that instead of, say, heal a specific party member, 'killed' another random party member and added all that members stats to the original members stats temporarily until the of character was 'revived'

all the while, she's getting creepier, after that first time you can recall her pretty easily, but now with the cursed moves, she's chanting some fucking thing in a demonic cypher, her robes are flickering black, she's crying blood, the whole shebang, that only gets worse with the more cursed spells you use

now, you can change the Bible quotes at first in the settings, you can enter whatever text you want into the game and have her say it, but this will increase the speed of her corruption, especially if you put in something uncouth, (this may also affect her anger level at the end of the game) and you can't change the cipher words at all

eventually, one of the cursed moves would kill a member (probably your most beloved, the one you use the most and/or the one you're trying to heal) permanently, no chance of revival

this would complete her corruption and you would be unable to use any other character at all, you wouldn't be able to remove her from the party, and all of her moves would become permanently cursed

her dialogue would be hinting more and more that she personally went into the games code to change this, and what a good job she did because now you and her could battle side by side forever, if you do go into the games code at this point, learning your lessons from ddlc and thinking there might be something interesting in there, you will find the cipher key to what shes been saying

if you'd been noting it down at this point, good for you, you now can translate what she's been saying, and what she's been saying is basically just computer commands and codes, completely, turns out she's been fucking with the game once first corruption, just in a cipher

you can beat the game with only her, but it is very hard, and npcs will notice get affect on you, making it hard to buy from shops, use transport etc. if she 'dies' game over, you'll have to start the battle again and all your other save files are locked until you beat her run

all this being said, you can beat the game without using her, and there are other characters with stories that aren't fucked at all, it's just that one that you have to be careful about

#horror game #literally came to me in a dream #ddlc #doki doki literature club #pokemon #it might have been a little bit of a nightmare #but we move #this is what i get for playing fnaf after dark #horror #this might be lame #idk

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matan4il · 4 months

Note

Hi I read your post about the fallen victims and I had to stop at 5 year old Ido Avigal and just cry. If he was still with us he would've been my nephew's age today (and my nephew is my entire world). And his adorable smile looks like my nephew's so it's even more painful. I can't imagine what his family feels or his friends. Poor thing. I hate all of the pain and suffering in the world I truly hate it.

I'm not Jewish but I will pray for these people and their loved ones. I hope their loved ones have a strong support system and that pain will probably never go away but I hope their loved ones find strength and peace and courage to continue living.

Idk I'm rambly and emotional.

Sending you hugs too. 🫂

Hi Nonnie!

Thank you so much for your very humane response! I have a nephew as well, I know exactly what you mean. I've always loved and adored kids, but there was something about accompanying my sister on her motherhood journey that made me realize just how much more it is to be a parent. And in that sense, an uncle or aunt, too. What it means to raise a child, and love them before they're even born, and be so invested in every single second for years, things I might have known as an idea, but have such a more profound impact when you actually experience them...

Ido Avigal specifically is someone who I remembered even before my sis got pregnant. Like you said, that sweet smile! The contrast before the first pic of him that was shared, in which he's seen in a Purim costume (such a joyous occasion, and you take it in while trying to process such a tragedy). The fact that the family did everything right... When Hamas fired their rocket, the warning siren went off, the family heard it in time, they all got into the bomb shelter, they closed the door and the window... they did everything right. And still, the rocket hit the next door building, a splinter of the rocket flew off and hit their window at such an angle, that it went through the shut metal covers on the window. Ido passed away a few hours later, in a hospital, but the family had to watch him get hit with a lethal strike right in front of their eyes.

How did it happen? Because when the decision was made on how thick the metal covers over the windows in every bomb shelter had to be, Hamas' rockets were less advanced than they are now. Even with all of the effort Israel invests in it, it's simply not possible to keep "updating" our bomb shelters at the same speed Hamas get rocket upgrades from Iran. That's the tragedy. That defense systems, no matter how good, are always bound to fail eventually. And we can talk about statistics (Iron Dome did succeed in intercepting 97% of rocket threats in May 2021), for that one family, nothing is going to ever fix what happened, and bring their kid back.

If Israel hadn't left Gaza in 2005, our soldiers could have done more to intercept what Hamas is getting from Iran, to make sure they can't upgrade their rockets, and become more lethal. But we didn't want to rule over Gaza anymore, we wanted to try giving it to the Palestinians, give them autonomy, give them something to develop and invest in, give them something to lose if they choose terrorism, so that hopefully they wouldn't... So here we are, realizing we have to sacrifice our 18 and 19 year old children in order to protect our 5 year old kids, the kind of choice that no nation, that no parent and family, should have to make.

And you know what's even worse? Since Ido was killed, in May 2021, I've seen his pic more than once, used in anti-Israel propaganda, presenting him as if he was a Palestinian kid (along with Nadine Awad, a 14 years old Israeli Arab Muslim Bedouine girl, who was also killed by Hamas during the same time). Ido's mom publicly spoke out against them doing this, BTW. They're literally appropriating our dead, and using them against us, to de-legitimize our self-defense, and bring about more murdered Israelis. I can't understand that kind of moral failure other than in terms of antisemitism.

I can tell you that Ido's dad wrote and published a song in his son's memory, called "measured hope," and an article from two days ago stated that Ido's mom has been giving interview to explain Israelis better to the world, since Oct 7.

Thank you again for the very kind words and hugs! Sending you big hugs and much love right back! xoxox

(for more of my posts regarding Israel, click here)

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0aurelion-sol0 · 4 years

Text

SNK 134: Why we need to move forward.

Well...

That's horrifying...

Oh but whatever they are probably bad people in there. Thieves, greedy people, hateful mothers, men who beat their wives , liars, bullies, killers, murderers, rapist, child rapist and racist babies.

Yeah...

This is a rhetoric that has been used for ages and is currently being used in this fandom especially on reddit and 4chan.

The justification of injustice.

When George Floyd was slammed on the ground and died because he couldn't breathe anymore, conservatives and republicans at large ignored the police brutaliy leading up to that.

He was just a cocaine or drug addict who one day pointed a gun at a pregnant lady. So he was a criminal and deserved that.

Of course ignoring the racial segregation that happened from the very legalized slavery hundreds of years ago and how poor and racially stigmatized black people are being in America right now.

When the Uyghurs are being genocided by China, the world blinds itself because China is one the worlds necessary assets in economy as it basically produces a good chunk of what is being used in the world. Most made by children, " but it makes us live "... Apparently that's the only logical reason...

When Palestinians and Israelis are literally killing each other over some complicated non sense that no one ever really understands and also Israël basically doing Apartheid at this point,

When the totality of the Middle East has turned into a warzone because of the United States's violent imperialism,

When most far right or extremist group decided that Islam and Islamic terrorism are the same thing,

When xenophobes and racist always attack immigration,

"If she wasn't wearing that skirt, she probably wouldn't have been raped",

When we have homophobes, transphobes, LGBTphobes, telling us what's natural and always bragging about "\___-_-___/ God, Holy Jesus",

When you have people who tells you that poor people chose their way of living when there are a small percent of billionaires and soon to be trillionaires having such a gigantic amount of wealth,

When 6 millions Jews were genocided which was 40% of Jewish people at the time and 2/3 of European Jews,

When the prime minister of Israël is saying that the Holocaust wasn't Hitler's Idea but Haj Amin al-Husseini, (who was extremely anti semitic, don't get me wrong)who suggested it to him maiking the prime minister a revisionist but at the same time making his actions against Palestinians justified,

When around the world Christianic places of worship are being vandalized,

When entire SYSTEMS of segregations have made societies work,

When the South American continent has been attacked by the United States because of different political beliefs,

When people use their rape as a way to attack other communities of a specific religion or color,

When Black Panthers uses racism against White people because of the story of USA and are being anti semitic but essentializing a whole group,

When Nationalistic Israelis tells you what is a good Jew and what isn't a good Jew,

When dozens of groups have been forced to extinction,

Natives who were being murdered, yeah? YOU DON'T SEE THAT A LOT IN YOUR COWBOY MOVIES ?

When literal "feminist" calls for the destruction of men while they can't educate the kids about what to do and what not to do, OH, can also be transphobic apparently,

When you have entire websites who encourages pedophilia,

And pedophiles killed, left alone and live a life of endless torment while no one does nothing to help them and fight those who encourages it even in the highest places of our society,

Oh and Hollywood, that's all I need to say.

And let's not even talk about animal brutality and the destruction of ecosystems.

And there is more and more and more and more and more and FUCKING MORE,

All that because of reasons, reasons, reasons, reasons,

All stuck in a cycle of hate, violence and discrimination that just never ends.

The selfishness,

The greed,

And at end, everything is meaningless. There is just blood.

This is what this chapter represent the meaningless of it all. How everything goes to shit...

How everyone, whether it's the oppresor or the oppresed, will justify the violence, the injustice.

Society does nothing cause society right now runs for the entitled and the entitled only and creates it's own monsters.

I want to ask those people who defend the rumbling.

After everything we saw in this manga, after what the real world has commited, after how much these real events have inspired this story, how can you say it was the only way ?

After everyone hided Hange valuable informations including Eren who had information about KRUGER who was a spy in MARLEY. Who has created a civil war in Eldia and activated the rumbling while killing Eldian civilians in the way.

After seeing the mental breakdown of Bertolt, who we don't hear about anymore, Annie and Reiner's mental breakdown over GENOCIDING AN ENTIRE GROUP OF PEOPLE, by the way Reiner totally didn't develop another persona at that time to cope with what he was doing, HUH ?

After all the deaths, Carla, Grisha, Dina, Faye Marco, Levi's squad, Ymir, Erwin, Sasha, Hange, Hannes, Floch and many others, how can you go and be like "CHAD EREN, BEING DADDY, FUCKING HIS MEAT WAIFU, PHILOSOPHER FREEDOM SEEKER"

"104th crybabies... xDdDDDD Prfrpfr"

Come on...

This isn't serious at this point.

And for the H character, we're gonna come back for her but...

GODDAMNIT!

THANK YOU, DEATH.

This has sparked debates.

Some are thankful for this speech by the commander.

Others are finding it disingenous.

Others think it's too on the nose and not natural.

Others don't care.

On my part, I enjoy it but I take it with the context. Most of their airships have been destroyed and they are facing their doom upfront right now. It's more of a death plea at this point. Just like in the cave with Histor... GOD IT'S SO HARD SAYING HER NAME... with Historia who said truly horrible things at the point of an imminent death. At that moment, words like this can tell what you really are inside but even that is not enough to have a full picture.

It did have some interesting elements.

It is true, using, raising, breeding hate and shoving problems upon a group will always come bite you up the ass someday.

Marley in their extensive and violent coloniaslistic, imperialiatic behavior towards Eldia creates only weaknesses for them on an international field and create this monstruosity that is right now Eren.

Eren, a soldier who suffer from trauma and PTSD, who has terrible insecurities and everything to lose after losing so much and possibly in my book being influenced by another entity decides to kill them all.

But...

In no way does that justify Eren's actions, in fact it goes against it.

He is just as angry and hateful as they were back then but instead of destroying the system, he decides to genocide.

Essentializing the whole world as your ennemy and problem, and deciding to get rid of it is just continuing what has been started and continued for hundreds of years before.

No one ever thinks about the simple families, the innocent children, the homeless...

What about them Eren ?

What about the people who faced discrimination like Ramzi ?

What about the other groups that are almost extinct just like yours ?

What about the groups that tried to support the Eldians but were considered freaks ? HUH ?

What about the babies and innocent children ?

Isayama is even spelling it out for you this chapter.

Is he not worth it ? To stop all this ?

He was born into this world just like every other baby.

Look at that while everyone, is trying to jump off, their trying to save the baby. Even if it's probably impossible. That's humanity right there.

And... jesus christ...

I literally saw people who said that the mother was dumb to give it to the people because titans were behind them.

I can't even...

Imagine if Eren is the daddy of H's Baby and that he completes the genocide, killing his friends or even persuading them and at the end he is saying you are free to this baby.

So this baby is worth more than this baby ?

He is more legitimate to live than him.

I can't even imagine what the arguments would be like with the Eren stans:

"He's protecting his friends."

While literally challenging them to fight and right now trying to kill them.

"Well, you know the Rumbling is horrible but they got what was coming for them. They did nothing to help Paradise."

While forgetting the complexity of human nature, how banalization of these acts of violence have come to be BECAUSE...

These just like me and you are just simple people. With simple lives and not too much power who can't do anything about it.

Most of the people today sees all the suffering in the world, they just don't have the power, nor the will to go against such complex geo-political conflicts.

Would you be able to just resolve the Israelo-Palestinian conflict ? I don't think so, so shut your ass down with this argument.

These people can't change the world with power that they have and the one that has the power to change that, is killing them right now. BRAVO.

" Well, uh, the child is a child, parents might be racist and uh... child maybe is racist or will become racist..."

God...

Just because someone has done horrible shits or is an horrible shit doesn't mean he should die like this.

Here it is people, how we work as human :

Fuck redemption and possible solutions, let's kill everyone who did something bad.

Y'all would have been perfect during monarchies time.

And like... having an argument on a baby should face genocide is just fucking disgusting.

AND DON'T GIVE ME THE BULLCRAP OF FICTION DOESN'T EQUAL REALITY!

That you are interested into what could bring the Rumbling in terms of thematics and story is fine.

BUT ENDORSING IT ?

Do y'all even hear yourselves sometimes ?

You just sound like every racist, bigoted, fascist and violent person that has ever existed.

You're just excited to see someone die because he commited something wrong, sadistic pricks.

You're no different. Perhaps the guy who was talking to Grisha in chapter 97, who was a Marleyan and gave serums to Eldian is right. When he was talking to Grisha, Isayama use it to break the fourth wall and talk to the readers.

Why do we watch this, all this violence ?

" Because it's fun!"

" People take peace for granted!"

" Of course we're abnormal in society's eyes."

" We wish to exterminate all eldians!"

" Your sister did nothing wrong. Shame she was an Eldian!"

The fun fact is that this guy is a racist fuck but he dies pushed by Kruger and killed by his very own creation: a titan.

Why do people endorse genocide ?

" Because it's justice!"

" They got what was coming for them!"

" Isayama is just showing us that genocide is not really wrong if you just understand the concept of morals. Puritans."

" Humanity can die, they deserve it!"

" I'm sad for Ramzi, he didn't do nothing wrong but you know... maybe he didn't have good ideas about Eldians."

While also saying why children could deserve genocide. \____@-@____/

Of course I found most of these on Reddit and 4chan, the nazi propaganda website. Tumblr is a little free of it.

Babies....

Literally babies...

That remind me of somethin'...

OH YEAH!

QUEER NO MORE.

*put gloves on*

PUUUUUUUSSHH!!! COOOOOOOMMEEE OOONN!!!!

Breathe...

I SEEEEE THE HEAAADDD, IT'S HEREEEEEE!!!!

Natalie, bring the bucket, quick!

Of fuck she shitted on herself a little bit!

_________________________________________

So ?

Y'all like my fanfic ?

It's about how Erehisu is canon and how Historia is actually thinking about Eren right now because she is blushing.

But also about how Historia actually looks good and sexy while being pregnant and how she looks so happy!

She also is a lesbian that turned straight.

I'm so proud of my work.

_________________________________________

In all honesty...

This is... dissapointing and an insult to Historia fans. Why ? What is the purpose or the reason ? Being tragic ? To show how far Historia can go to protect her loved ones ? A female Eren so ?

I always leaned towards the fake pregnancy even if I don't know how something like that could be really pulled. I didn't understand this choice for his storytelling. The others I understand but this one...

O_o

What the fuck ?

So she really is pregnant ? But nothing leading up to it makes sense.

The character whose thematics still rings too much true for this arc is put in the background and as a breeding farm on top of that.

It even came to a point I started people to stop asking about her.

I had faith in her presence in the final arc. That she would have a role play.

But now ?

/\/\/\

For people who don't understand why this aspect of story is wrong, we have to break it down.

First off, Historia one of the first queer characters with Ymir in SNK. Others are suspected but these two are the few that holds a definitive representation as queer.

Most often in media or in real life, LGBT people have been forced into a situation that requires them to fall under heterosexuals lives. Here Historia is forced to be pregnant, yes in a way she agreed because of her people, but at the same time she didn't really want it.

For queer people, like me, this still rings true. Too much true. People literally forces you to go for your opposite sex everytime, to have a family.

No, stop forcing your view of your own life or desire of life on other people.

The fact that the fandom rationalizes that and says that she is happy and in love with Eren is just so fucking weird.

It either is blind ship following, heteronormativity or not understanding the story.

And I saw people saying she might be bisexual. This doesn't change anything. Also ignoring the fact that she hasn't shown any attraction to men other than women in the story.

If she is bisexual, it doesn't change anything, she is still queer. Not semi-straight AND EVEN IF SHE WAS A WOMAN WHO HAPPENED TO BE STRAIGHT, SHE IS STILL FORCED INTO SOMETHING SHE DID NOT WANT.

Bisexual is not semi-straight, semi-gay.

It's bisexual.

Bisexual, Straight and Homosexuality are not the same thing.

And if she was straight, that doesn't make it acceptable. It's just sick.

Just because you're a straight woman doesn't mean you are going to be more happy or have god like duty to have kids.

I just don't understand it...

A manga who was so progressive with his female characters reduces Historia to this.

Imagine...

Just imagine...

Eren is the father. I would shoot myself in the face. A forced straight relationship at the end for the pleasure of shonen readers and heteronormative readers.

" What if I have baby, Eren ?"

" Only if it is from me. I want him to live and have FREEDOM!"

" It's open bar, honey." *saying this after hearing the guy says he's going to genocide which goes against her own values and actions as queen*

Ew... Just ew...

And even worse she wasn't supposed to give birth right now, she was supposed to give birth in a few months.

She could DIE. SHE IS 19. This is dangerous.

Everyone is like this is normal.

THIS IS NOT NORMAL. *sigh*

This goes against what she is supposed to have as a character development.

The fact that she would be okay for genocide while as a queen she reached out to the most weak and in need is fucking incoherent.

No. This doesn't make sense. Even Eren said that Historia's action as a queen were to help others. How could she be okay sitting at her house ? Telling no one about what Eren was going to do ? And becoming a breeding farm ? What is the logic in that ?

Why make it suspicious than ?

The only thing that was able to make any logical sense to me was that the person we are seeing here isn't Historia.

I know if my theory is right, it's sick, even more sick.

The only times we saw Historia after the timeskip was during flashbacks, the reveal at 107 and possibly at the end of 123.

If this is her at the end of 123, I want to ask you why is she all prepared, why is she all dressed up and why is she wearing the same clothes in 134 that she is wearing 107. Something doesn't add up.

She is young, small-petite, blonde and her belly and face are hidden.

I was only able to go through the theory that this is a fake Historia. Than who it is than ?

Well, I searched for female characters who look like her or who could look like Historia right now. From all the characters that we haven't seen coming coming back and that has interacted with Historia, there is only one.

Rico Brzenska.

For those, who don't remember her : She was a Garrison Member who helped Mikasa and Eren during the Trost Arc and also helped Historia while she was exhausted during the Clash of the Titans Arc.

She hasn't appeared ever since the start of the Return to Shiganshina Arc unlike many of the older characters.

She is the only one I see who could pass as Historia I think.

I know this is still sick. But this is the only way I would be able to make Historia get out of this crappy storyline and play some relevance in the story. And if we look at Rico and Historia in 107, they kinda look the same. They have the heart shaped face, they are both small and they both have this sort of closed eyelids.

One line that just stuck with me of Rico was:

"Hiding/Lying about Eren's rampage in the report wouldn't have benefited humanity. "

This was during Eren's trial before joining the Survey Corps. What was discused was when Eren lost control of himself during the Trost Arc and attacked Mikasa.

The second line that struck was the one where she holds Historia who is exhausted in her arms:

"Wow! Who is this girl, is she okay ?"

I don't know why it just pushed that theory. And I kinda believe it now, because no one can make me believe that there is something satisfying coming out of this. Why would she sacrifice herself for Historia ? Well, I don't really know but Rico was always a little wary of Eren, even after the Trost Arc but yeah ultimately for Rico being able to give her own life for Historia. I don't know about that. But with this manga you never now. It is a very dark and twisted theory but this is the only logical thing I can see right now since no answers have been provided.

Monkey is BACK

Zeke is back and like most of us predicted, Eren dragged him with him. And I'm not gonna lie, the way he was attached to the spine was pretty badass.

He is used as a puppet which reinforces the theory for me that all three of them: Eren, Ymir and Zeke are being used by the Attack Titan.

I cannot understand Eren's illogical behavior especially after seeing the train scene where he says he wants them to live long happy lives and than having him kill his friends.

Ymir the first being free and having eyes to returning to having no eyes just like before and Eren.

And Zeke would have never agreed to the Rumbling. And we can't see his eyes either.

And...

Thank you, 104th for existing.

Because...

After how much shit they have gone through and after how much the fandom, not just the Eren stans, have mocked them. Like the fandom has been the biggest asshole to the the Alliance while they were the ones who were able to survive through the sentence " Genocide is wrong!" that so many people seems to find to be so hard to say.

I will root for them until the bitter end, I don't care. They are the one who are fighting. You can call Cringevengers all you want but I am glad they are winning.

They all suffered like Eren but they didn't prioritize their own and only feelings above everything else and they stood by for the values they fought for since they joined the Survey Corps. Even if I have to admit they have, for most of them, conflicted feelings with what they were doing and have done things like trying to talk to Eren while it's obvious he wasn't going to talk and that in a situation like this I don't think someone would try to stop Eren by just talking.

Levi, and it would be foolish to not recognize it, is being consumed by his promise but he is restraining it and still is able to think about the bigger picture.

There's one thing I really like about this is Armin asking Eren:

"Eren... I'll ask you one last time... "What part of you is free" after we rip you out from there... "

Hehe... yes... what part of you is free ?

To be honest, there's many things I don't want for the ending.

A Lelouch Ending, it was all Eren's plan. Literally wouldn't make sense. No one would be questionning his free will and he wouldn't have these weird shits happening to him.

A Code Geass ending, why would Mikasa have to kill Eren, what does that add to her as a character ? More tragedy ? No she doesn't have the scarf, it's pretty telling what place she's at right now.

Eren being the daddy. NO, JUST NO.

Everyone dies, genocide is the right thing. You know all the worst shit that can happen.

But most of all I want important plot points to be explored and moved over because ever since the timeskip, there has been no important plot points out the way. Eren's behavior, Ackertalk, Bertolttalk, Historia's Condition, Paths stuffs, answers!

Whatever... Trust me Peace is not something I take for granted. Being proud of myself and having a life with the least conflict and problem is something you fight for. Having rights, being recognized as a human.

Never lose that, fight for it. But never with injustice, be smarter and stronger. Cause at the end what unites us is not only what we have in common but what the perspective of what we have not in common can make a bigger picture of what we are as humans. We all are different and have a different story with similarities but in the end, we are human and born into this world. And in that, we must move forward. In the present, because of the past and for the future.

We all wish for the problems to go away but if it's for the solutions to be rigged with injustice, it will not work. No one has acheived with genocide and never will.

It's kinda sad that this long of a post has to say this. Did y'all see that ? Pretty inspiring what I wrote. Oh well you know what ? If they can be bigoted why can't I myself.

Here's a song I wrote:

(Fuck everyone and you.

We hate women

There are only 2 genders, the breeder and the breeded.

Everything is degenerate.

We hate brown, Arab and Muslim people.

Genocide is cool

And Hitler was too.)

I know but you know what, at least if they want a spy for Nazi Germany someday. They'll know not to give it to me because I'd laugh at the stupidity of the people just like you and I are doing with the rest of world cause for all the shits it gives us, it's entertaining.

youtube

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notbigondoors · 4 years

Note

omg vis in that wandavision black and white scene is so cute xD we have to keep in mind that they're in a sitcom so I wouldn't worry too much about these types of gags, I don't think it means they're turning the characters into jokes.. although... that's what they did to thor and banner in endgame so I can see where you're coming from. it wasn't funny. and I LOVE comedies, i love thor: ragnarok, i love gotg and gotg 2, but... endgame's comedy wasn't funny, hope it doesn't bleed into wandavision.

{out of equations} Below the cut because nobody wants to see my rants, hahaha... I don’t want to be too down on this show because I haven’t seen it yet and for all I know it’s going to kick ass. But I’m... cautiously pessimistic.

Yes to what you said, and that’s exactly where I’m coming from with this... Marvel has ruined characters before. They have turned both Tony’s and Thor’s PTSD and various other mental health difficulties into jokes. They completely obliterated Steve’s character at the end of Endgame with his inexplicable decision to go back in time and live a whole different life. Bruce felt like a completely different character entirely in personality, design, motivation, etc. in Endgame. So yeah, like... that’s where my fear and distrust lies... in Marvel/Disney and their ability to not destroy characters for ratings, comic relief, or even other more painful reasons like whitewashing, conformity to their corporate ideals, and things like that.

Because again, I still push back as to why use sitcoms in the first place. They could tell this arc of Wanda’s Marvel story without using sitcoms. Even if they’re going to say Wanda somehow sat there as a child in Sokovia watching 50s American sitcoms, she wouldn’t think that that was an ideal way of life. Tight floral dresses, high heels, blonde hair, separate beds, suburban life... that would not have been seen as ideal by a young Eastern European Jewish Romani girl growing up in a village. It would have been seen as very different, foreign, and maybe even weird in a bad way, especially since the twins grew up apparently really disliking American culture given the way they were protesting against Stark’s technology by their teens. So... yeah they’ve already lost me on the basic premise and I’m worried that whatever explanation they have for choosing to set this very important arc of Wanda’s development in previous decades and in “TV-land” just won’t be enough for me. And then to make it a campy, canned laughter kind of setup just makes it worse.

I mean I guess I went with a different early background for Wanda than the MCU wanted. I drew from her comic background and filled in the blanks that the MCU seemed to have no interest in filing with canon material. I gave her a more rural, ethnic, and religious-based background, and now... after several movies of giving us hardly anything, now they’re going to tell us about her childhood and what happened during the experiments. Thanks, guys. So now my choices are to retcon everything (which I’m not going to do), to ignore WandaVision completely (which I also don’t want to do), or to make a strange hybrid of the two (I guess this is my fate). The background I use for her wasn’t... set up... to allow for her watching a lot of TV at a young age, especially American sitcoms. But I’ll do my best to mesh it all together. *shrugs*

Like... for me, the “feel” of the characters is lost here. They don’t feel like the same people, and quite honestly, if they had started out this way, I would have been completely disinterested and would never have wanted to write them. And to some extent I’m kindof fine with that for Vision because I’m fairly sure that that’s either a construct of Wanda’s mind of an incomplete/dead/half-functioning Vision she’s changing to be what she wants, or something to that effect. So it makes sense that he wouldn’t seem like himself. But why is Wanda behaving that way? She snapped from stress, trauma, and grief and for some reason........ thinks she’s a 50s housewife? Or 60s, 70s, 80s, whatever? I don’t get that. Just... why? They didn’t have to do that, and yeah, if I trusted them more to handle characters properly, I’d have more hope and be more optimistic, but after what they’ve done to some other Marvel characters, I am definitely worried.

I’m more comforted by the interviews I’m seeing with Lizzie where she seems happy with the development of Wanda during the show. She’s been playing her for a while now, I know how much thought she puts into her roles and how she likes to get into her characters’ heads, so I would like to think that she wouldn’t take a role that would just destroy the character. So right now my hope is hinging on my trust of her liking Wanda enough not to want to ruin her completely, heh. Also, in an interview she specifically said there’s a reason for it all. So... okay. I will hang on that. XD I honestly really hope I’m wrong and you can all tell me so after the fact, like... I hope the show is awesome and blows my mind. But I’m trying to prepare myself for a train wreck just in case.

Also I rambled more about Wanda than Vision, because I guess I have more problems with the Wanda aspect of all of this than the Vision aspect. Vision... while I don’t particularly like seeing him jump at a tiny noise when he’s fought in large scale battles and has never shown himself to be that jumpy before, his character is going to have to get a little bit stretched out and weird and beyond the norm for him, because it’s Wanda’s interpretation of him. She’s kindof bending him to fit these ideal living scenarios (at least I assume). So I can let go a little more easily with him because I don’t really count that as the real Vision, or at least not how Vision would really be if he was of sound/free/normal mind. But why Wanda is making these choice and feeling the way she does about it is an enigma to me. I get what she’s doing and why overall, but just... the TV sitcom thing... I’m just so sorry Marvel felt the need to do this incredibly serious and painful arc in Wanda’s life using the comedic vehicle of TV Land. I would have preferred a movie in which they actually address what’s going on with Wanda head on instead of trying to candy coat it in an attractive and lighter-contented package.

BUT AGAIN... I WILL SAY... maybe I’m wrong. I hope I am. I’ll be watching along with everyone else, so... we’ll see!

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nessamaurice · 5 years

Text

Simple Ch. 6 (Loki x F!Reader)

Masterlist

Summary: Tony and the Avengers are in desperate need of something like a “babysitter” to have an eye on Loki and teach him “how to human”. He decided to stay on Midgard over the dungeons of Asgard as punishment for his deeds in New York. That’s where you swoop in. A simple receptionist at the Avengers compound. You have to share an apartment in the compound with Loki and damn, he’s a really tough nut. With your open and kind character it seems that you are slowly cracking his shell. But suddenly things are getting twists that will change your life and your relationships there irreversibly.

Story rating: M

Chapter trigger warnings: harming

Words: 2108

It turned out the tests Bruce made with you seemed to be alright, nothing you didn't knew or that wasn’t indicated before. The following days passed without anything special happening, except your relation with Loki. You tried to pick up the conversation with Loki again but apparently the moment was over. He shut himself off again. But you didn't miss out that he continued to feel more comfortable around you. The next day he accepted your tea offering for the first time. That made you ridiculously happy and you couldn't hide the big grin appearing on your face.

"What's so funny?"

"What? Oh, no, nothing." After a few moments of silence you couldn't hold back, "Do you like my tea? Today I chose a rose flavored green tea. I love the scent of roses. I don't like the flowers themselves, they are everywhere you look, being pretentious, I'm just weary of them, but their scent...“ You let out a little, soft moan. „Wonderful."

Your rambling was met with silence and you almost gave in, disappointed. But before you looked away you could see a small smirk tugging on his lips.

A few days later you just couldn't contain yourself anymore. You turned in your winged chair to Loki.

"How are you feeling today?"

"...What?"

"How do you feel? We've been sharing these rooms for quite a few days now and have barely spoken to each other. Tell me something. Anything. Or ask me something! Just let us interact in any way. I can't take it any longer."

He looked you straight in the eyes, the dimmed sunlight making the green-blue almost glow. Then a question seemed to pop up in his mind.

"What are you reading?"

You looked down at the book on your lap. "What I’m reading? Oh, that is something specific. It's called Antiquitates Iudaicae. It's not that easy to read, it's not like a novel or something, it is more like a history book. The text is about 1900 years old. A roman-jewish historian named Flavius Josephus tries to explain his beliefs to the Greek to help them understand his culture."

"Why are you reading this, since it is not easy to read?"

"I am a faithful person and it helps me a bit understanding the setting and the time when the bible was written. There are no other ancient Jews from the first century left around here, so I wanted to know how he tried to explain his culture to persons that have no relation with it."

"So, you believe in god? Then you must be humbled to be in the presence of one." A lofty expression appeared on his face, but was wiped away the second you started laughing.

"I'm sorry, really. Don't want to be disrespectful. But do you really think you are a god? Just because you have access to other dimensions and live a few thousand years? Not that this wouldn't be highly impressive, honestly. But you are as far away from being a god than I am. You are a creation, not a creator."

Loki wanted to say something but the words kept stuck in his throat. His face turned sly.

"You have no idea what I am capable of." His voice was low and husky.

"You are completely right. If there was some sort of food chain, I'd clearly be beyond you because of your many skills and knowledge. But they don't make you the summit, neither. Look, I totally see why the ancient Norse people thought of you as gods. What you can do is really admirable. But I would never give you this title. I got too much respect of it."

Loki tried to swallow down his anger. He really wanted to behave but even more he wanted you to explain that. "So, what do you think deserves this title?"

"Love. Compassion. Mercy. Omnipotence. I think, nothing in the whole universe happens without him allowing it to happen. Even the bad things. For the most people it's hard to accept that. They blame him for all the terrible things. It's not like that he would cause the bad things to happen. But he knows exactly what's going on. He knows every outcome of every move. And, I believe, he leads us on the tracks we should go. Not like we are just marionettes and he sets every move, but at some points, big decisions that give our lifes a turn, he may give us a certain push. A lot dreadful stuff happened to me in my life, but who knows that it couldn't have been even worse? Who is able to say the way it went is not the best of all possibilities? Even if it is hard to cope with, I know he gives me the strength to get through. Whether it is some sort of energy that comes from within me or he puts people in my life that will help me with whatever comes my way. But that is my totally personal point of view. The nice thing is, I don't have to persuade anyone to believe the same. My faith is individual. Nobody has to agree with me. This is what helps me get through life. Not to give up.... What sort of faith do you have? ...if you have one at all?"

Loki listened carefully and his face slowly softened as he followed your thoughts. He seemed a bit surprised as you addressed the question to him, like he was asked for his opinion for the first time in his life.

"That is a very interesting point of view, I have to admit. I can imagine that it is not very popular, but interesting, though. I... I never really developed something you could call faith. My culture is full of myths and legends. I learned everything about our Allfathers and Gods, but never took it really personal. I was not attracted to do so."

He stopped talking and started pondering on that thought. You watched his face, his eyes getting lost. You used the opportunity to take a closer look and studied his face. It was edgy and delicate at the same time. His bright eyes pierced right through you every time he looked at you. He was very concentrated on what he wanted to say next, so you simply kept quiet and waited for him to form his thoughts into words. It was rather beautiful to watch his mind work.

After a short while he continued, "I think there might be something like a higher force that has impact on our lives. But that started just recently. I long thought that I am the master of every of my own steps and if I place them right, everything will work out just fine. I will get what I want if I only fight hard enough for it. So that's what I did, I fought for my own purposes. But all I got was misery, sorrow and hatred."

You could literally see his pain boiling up from the inside. It was tearing him in two. You reacted out of instinct and reached out to lay your hand on his cheek. His eyes darted at you immediately, turning glassy. Softly you stroke over his cheek with your thumb. You wished you could just pull him into a tight embrace and help him let go of all expectations towards himself. To put down his guard. It was like you could literally feel his inner need of ease and solace. But he was just too much of a proud man. He pressed his lips together and pushed your hand away, abruptly stood up, stepping towards the window front, staring outside with his arms crossed.

"I'm sorry." Was all that came to your mind. Pathetic, you thought. And he thought that as well.

"You have no idea what you are talking about." He hissed turning towards you. "Don't act like you would understand. YOU HAVE NO IDEA!" He shouted at you and disappeared right in front of your eyes. You sat there in your winged chair, nonplussed. You looked around the room, but no sight of him.

Far beyond puzzled, you started to talk with the air. "I... I don't if you are still here? But, I wanted to say that you are right. I have no idea what you've been through. What it feels like to be in your skin. If I were, I know I would have done the same that you did, because you are the only person that feels this way. I am no one to judge. I never judge. Well, at least I try. The big truth is that it's simply impossible to compare individuals with each other. We are the summaries of our experiences and we all have our very own way of perceiving the world around us. So, I have to add as well that you also have no idea what you are talking about. I do understand. Traumata are a serious thing and everyone reacts differently to that, but don't treat me like I had no empathy. Maybe everyone else treated you like you didn't even had the right to speak your mind, but I'm not like this. You are intelligent and attentive and if you haven't noticed that by now, you are obviously blinded by some kind of rage and hatred. And pride. But I don't want to push you. Just know that I won't let you treat me like this. I will not leave you because I can imagine that you've been left too often in your life, but I will not tolerate it. Okay, and because it feels like I have a serious conversation with myself outside of my head I'm gonna go into the kitchen to get me a drink because that's fucking strange. Feel free to join me there."

You sat on a barstool and looked out of the giant window front at the other side of the even bigger room. You felt the cold sweat of the glass condensing in your hand, running over your fingers. Totally lost in your thoughts you didn't notice Steve sitting down next to you. He really tried not to startle you but failed.

"Sorry Y/N. Just thought you looked like something was on your mind you'd like to talk about?"

"No problem. Ah, no, it's okay. There were just some intense emotions between Loki and me."

Looking at his raised eyebrows you awkwardly cleared your throat as you explained yourself, "Oh no no no, not something like that. Totally not. No no." Somehow you dwelled in that thought a bit too long.

"Well, that were lots of 'no's but okay." Steve laughed and pushed you slightly with his shoulder to the side.

Before you could blush too obviously you changed topic, "Have you seen Tony? The last time I saw him was when were having pizza. Is everything alright?"

"To be honest I haven't seen him, neither. Well, at least not in person. I walked by the lab and saw him video chatting with Bruce, so he must be okay. But don't worry, wouldn't be the first time he disappears for a few days without telling anyone. ... Are you sure you don't want to talk about what's weighing you down?"

"Thank you Steve. Everything's fine." You conjured a smile though you didn't felt like smiling which made it totally implausible. But Steve accepted you didn't want to talk right now. He assured you can knock on his door whenever you wanted before he left the open kitchen of the common room again. You really, really hoped Loki would show up in the kitchen. You imagined both of you together having a drink, talking, enjoying each other's companionship... But you were pulled out of your day dream by a polite voice.

"Miss Y/N, your presence is demanded outside of the personal rooms."

"What? Me? For what?" You thought JARVIS sounded differently than usual.

"I am sorry, Miss, but I was not given further information than it being important and urgent."

"Uhm, okay. Sure. Just a sec." You gulped down the rest of your Gin Tonic and jumped off the barstool. For a moment it felt like someone was slightly brushing your arm as to hold you. You stopped, looked around, but didn't see anyone, so you went on.

After you slipped into your shoes and a coat you were going down to the ground floor with the lift. The doors opened and the blood in your veins froze. Two giant, black-suited men immediately entered the lift. One grabbed your arms and pulled them violently behind your back and the other one pressed a strongly sweet smelling piece of fabric on your mouth and nose. You felt a sharp sting right into the side of your neck just before everything went limp and dark.

Taglist: @it-jinxed-us, @humbledarkness, @lunawitch19

#loki #Loki Laufeyson #loki x reader #loki x female reader #loki fiction #loki slow burn #slow burn #marvel fan fiction #marvel #fanfiction #fanfic simple #nessa maurice

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Sick Kids

ihatemyguts: Hey, who's about today? brainpain: 👀 brainpain: 👃 brainpain: 👅 ihatemyguts: Uncanny brainpain: I know ihatemyguts: Artistic endeavors keeping you busy? brainpain: [a selfie of her dramatic 🌈 makeup aesthetic] ihatemyguts: Okay but I'm gonna need a tutorial ihatemyguts: I never even mastered lipstick brainpain: I'll hook you up brainpain: check your private msgs ihatemyguts: 👍🙏 ihatemyguts: if my face is gonna be 🌚 from now on, it should really look pretty ihatemyguts: #juststeroidthings brainpain: it's a good face brainpain: + if I can rock a half shaved head with my brainpain: 👀 brainpain: 👃 brainpain: 👅 brainpain: not a time to still be alive brainpain: LMAO ihatemyguts: no doubt you rocked it so well everyone thought it was a choice brainpain: you gotta act like you're starting a 🌚 worshipping cult brainpain: I'll do a tutorial for that brainpain: full face of silver ihatemyguts: I can get down with that ihatemyguts: 🙌🌊🩸🐺🙌 ihatemyguts: am here on a bit of a recruitment mission, actually brainpain: my housemates & I are all synced 🩸 wise so you'd be doing me a favour, newbie brainpain: living battle royale over here brainpain: not trying to recruit you to fight to the death by my side though, we're good brainpain: what's the job? ihatemyguts: That sounds delightful, man ihatemyguts: also lowkey how has that never happened, not even with my ma ihatemyguts: clearly just that cold and standoffish she's like nah ihatemyguts: maybe I should wait 'til Zach is here too 'cos it was kinda his idea but if I give cred now, we're all good and I can take the blame if it's a big nope brainpain: you're still a 👶 not even gonna be synced with yourself yet brainpain: hold up I'll drag him by his curls brainpain: out there having a life like a real boy 😤 ihatemyguts: 😂 ihatemyguts: he'll get tricked into going to a weird Funland island and get turned into a donkey for his crimes, it's okay brainpain: sounds lit brainpain: [inandout has entered the chat] inandout: 🤥 ihatemyguts: How's your conscience? ihatemyguts: 🦗🦗🦗 inandout: 💎 clear ihatemyguts: 🤨 suspect inandout: you're not my wine mum inandout: or vodka aunt ihatemyguts: How rude ihatemyguts: Put some respect on your cult leader inandout: 🙇🙏 inandout: no food offerings ihatemyguts: safe bet gotspoons: 👋 I'm here! gotspoons: having a great day today, actually got energy, whaaaa?! 😲🤭 inandout: quick! float the idea while she's on cloud 9 gotspoons: You make me sound like an ogre, Zach 😜 gotspoons: what's going on? brainpain: Princess ogre ihatemyguts: Fiona ihatemyguts: v chic ihatemyguts: anyway, as we're all 👍 besides battle royale 🩸 ihatemyguts: we was thinking, and talking 'bout, a potential meetup ihatemyguts: thought we'd float it, see what y'all 💭 brainpain: I've got a 🍳 I'm 👍 + in ihatemyguts: which princess is that? one with crazy long hair, I 👀 it ihatemyguts: it could be cool, yeah? and why not, we'd have to make sure everyone who wants to can obvs or what's the point but apart from that brainpain: Princess me, unless the bleach makes it all fall out 😬 brainpain: [a very her style location] 📌🌎 inandout: we're not doing it there gotspoons: This is the problem, guys 😩 gotspoons: it would be really awesome but there is SO much planning you'd have to do to make it safe for everyone gotspoons: and picking a place for everyone that meets all the requirements inandout: we're willing to do all that inandout: planning + safety stuff ihatemyguts: totally ihatemyguts: like we could even go to a park or somewhere totally neutral ihatemyguts: or see if we can find some council-owned hall or something, 'cos places like that HAVE to be accessible ihatemyguts: I don't mind calling around and I bet Rich knows lots, and you will think of ALL the ways to keep EVERYONE safe and happy, right Rosie? brainpain: where I used to have support group would actually work brainpain: [a decent location that's like a community centre of something] ihatemyguts: 🙌 that looks legit ihatemyguts: if we explain what we're tryna do, bet they won't even charge us brainpain: I've got a hook up as ⭐ pupil brainpain: had my pick of those circle of chairs tigerbalm: 🙀🙀🙀🙀 tigerbalm: are we REALLY going to be able to meet up in person?! inandout: possibly gotspoons: How are we going to do this, IF we can gotspoons: you have to think about food and drink and seating and how we'd cover that, even if they did give us the venue for free inandout: I'm great with funds, it's assumed and expected gotspoons: but is that fair? gotspoons: I know some of us have none or very little inandout: I won't charge any of you a fee to come through the doors inandout: not that Jewish gotspoons: Oh, Zach! ihatemyguts: 🤑 is an accessibility issue, this should be a service, it should exist for free ihatemyguts: but it doesn't ihatemyguts: so if we can do this for ourselves, and offer it for free, for as little expense as possible ihatemyguts: maybe people will pull their finger out and consider actually doing their job ihatemyguts: you can write about it on your blog, get the word out brainpain: I'll fund-raise on stream, I've got your backs, nerds ihatemyguts: Right? High🖐 ihatemyguts: it's for US, so all of us that can, will put money into it ihatemyguts: no pressure on the ones that can't, fuck that, if anyone is gonna be that arsehole then they aren't welcome, yeah? tigerbalm: my parents have a people carrier, cos of course they do, but my creepy uncle won't be invited if any of y'all need rides ihatemyguts: 🤩🤩🤩 gotspoons: I'm going to do some research gotspoons: A LOT of research gotspoons: I would hate for anything to happen to anyone is this group tigerbalm: Where's Rich? tigerbalm: he would love to be on the front lines about this gotspoons: He would be a big help gotspoons: I feel like he had a uni thing today, an open day or something like that??? gotspoons: ugh my memory letting me down AS PER tigerbalm: how exciting! tigerbalm: I'll have to quiz him when he shows gotspoons: I know! gotspoons: He always checks in though, he'll be here later brainpain: Moving on, for those of us too brain damaged for further education gotspoons: 😔 brainpain: just me & my raging hormones LOL brainpain: he'll be such a happy nerd gotspoons: that's for sure gotspoons: he'll probably know so many answers to our questions already enablednotdisabled: I thought this group existed in lieu of an in-person group? brainpain: sup dude, it does enablednotdisabled: wouldn't it be potentially exclusionary to take this offline then? enablednotdisabled: realistically, there will be some of us who simply cannot get there inandout: if you wanna get there, we'll make it happen inandout: facetime you in if nothing else works enablednotdisabled: I'm not talking for myself, just others who might not feel confident enough to inandout: collective "you" inandout: we've all got phones enablednotdisabled: I just feel like this group can be quite us vs. them at times enablednotdisabled: hard to get heard if you aren't in the core group tigerbalm: There isn't a core group tigerbalm: everyone is listened to & respected enablednotdisabled: With all due respect, you are a part of it enablednotdisabled: so, of course, you feel that way enablednotdisabled: I'm not suggesting you can't break off and do your own thing, but the main chat of this forum that is meant to be for all of us, isn't the place for it brainpain: this group is what you make it, man brainpain: + the main chat brainpain: hit us with a topic you wanna talk about whenever inandout: it was brought up here so everyone knows they're invited ihatemyguts: I'm new and everyone I've found has been really receptive and welcoming to whatever I've had to say ihatemyguts: it sucks that you've not had that experience yourself but no one here is excluding you right now, least of all Robyn enablednotdisabled: There's a definite atmosphere here, whether you want to acknowledge it or not enablednotdisabled: the guidelines of what is expected and what is acceptable need to be clearer enablednotdisabled: and the moderators, who I've never actually witnessed in chat, should be quicker to put people on the right track, making this more therapeutic/beneficial to all, ban people if necessary brainpain: If you 🔎 hard enough for an atmosphere, it's findable brainpain: when you come in with a definite attitude of your own that's not gonna help none gotspoons: There's no need for us to have an argument, this is supposed to be a positive space gotspoons: if you have a complaint you'd like to make @enablednotdisabled, there is a link to contact the mods directly gotspoons: but I'd be happy to talk to you, privately if you'd prefer, and then we can take it from there? enablednotdisabled: I can handle my own complaints, thanks enablednotdisabled: and this isn't a positive space for me, and plenty other people I've talked to gotspoons: It hurts me to hear that, I'm really sorry and steps do need to be taken to attempt to rectify that then handicapable: I agree, it's cliquey here, unless you're one of the 'popular kids' or core group as @enablednotdisabled said, nobody cares handicapable: @ihatemyguts may be new but her finding a way in doesn't mean the walls aren't there for the rest of us handicapable: I barely log in any more gotspoons: Then let's tackle this culture head on gotspoons: do either of you have suggestions on how we could go about that, so I'm not dominating the conversation handicapable: You're not the one who dominates the conversation ihatemyguts: Don't think we need to @ people with specific comments like that ihatemyguts: not speaking for myself brainpain: @ me, baby brainpain: At least then I could defend myself brainpain: 🤐 though ihatemyguts: You've got the floor, like tigerbalm: It's not a safe space for Lauren if she can't say what she wants to say at risk of being accused of dominating the chat tigerbalm: either you want people to feel listened to or you don't ihatemyguts: And yeah, I am new, but I know Lauren, or anyone else in the chat rn, would not shoot you down if you wanted to change topic enablednotdisabled: It's about who always seems to be dictating the topic enablednotdisabled: we could change it, but then you feel like an interloper ihatemyguts: The conversation has to start somewhere, by someone ihatemyguts: @handicapable admitted to barely logging in now, of course the people who are here more will talk more, that's a given, it doesn't mean you're not allowed to contribute or come in to the convo ihatemyguts: there's no way to avoid that...prompts? mods only? that's not natural, or practical inandout: bible quotes inandout: 1 Peter 5:10 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Why are we quoting scripture? inandout: Lauren's been here for like 2 years but suddenly she's a disruptive force tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Well that's bullshit tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: unless you're a incel on her stream brainpain: you know me brainpain: how was your open day, babe? brainpain: (unless I'm a domineering b word for asking) tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Decent, despite the fact no one was expecting the wheelchair kid tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: despite the fact I called ahead tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: you can dominate me all you want but let me catch up with this apparent shitstorm I've missed brainpain: what a sexy proposition brainpain: I knew I'd missed you enablednotdisabled: Right, that's that conversation over then enablednotdisabled: 👌 brainpain: come on, man ihatemyguts: This is ridiculous ihatemyguts: people have formed meaningful relationships here, they're not allowed to acknowledge that in case someone feels left out, if you've talked to plenty of other people about the state of this forum, then clearly you've formed deeper bonds with them too ihatemyguts: no one here begrudges you that ihatemyguts: you're bound to get on with certain people over others, there's nothing discriminatory about that, it's to be expected tigerbalm: Like, are we supposed to take everything to PMs now? Cos I wanna hear about Rich's open day too but maybe he doesn't wanna type everything out to separate people lots of separate times ihatemyguts: ^You're just being rude, for the sake of it ihatemyguts: Rosie has offered to privately message about this, or you can put it all in an email to the mods tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Okay tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: literally, 'we' (I'll include myself in this core group that you see, even if I don't see that as a valid argument), have done nothing to you two, have never excluded either of you tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: everyone here is welcoming, and was welcoming you before your complaints tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: which aren't rooted in anything I can see as factual tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: what's the actual issue here? you're just hitting out buzzwords handicapable: and you're just jumping to the defence of the girl you like flirting with brainpain: Whoa now! That's not all I am in here tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: See, that's multiple times you've personally made jabs at Lauren tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: none of us have made any comments on you two personally tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: it seems like you're more cliquey than us if you can't see her as a valued member of the group brainpain: I'm not gonna leave cos you want on Rich for being hot af brainpain: shoutout to the new girl for letting that be known though tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Thank you, m'dear (somewhere between 🎩 and 🧢) tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: but thanks for implying I'm so desperate that I'd flirt with a girl I'd never seen before @handicapable tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: things are not quite that bad, I can assure you inandout: we're all that desperate, where have we heard that before? inandout: @normal people tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and we don't deserve any relationships that are deeper than strictly clinical and professional inandout: which is why we don't need to talk to any one person more than once tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Shout your grievances into the void and move on tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: but don't be too depressing about it ihatemyguts: This group doesn't work, you're right, just not for the reasons you're giving ihatemyguts: but we're all welcome to do what we must about making it work, even if I disagree with yours personally ihatemyguts: at least we try, and if you view us as an 'us' then you also view yourself as a group ihatemyguts: which isn't how I see it, or it's meant to be ihatemyguts: it's a group as a whole inandout: I wanted to organise a meet up to make things cooler inandout: sometimes you don't wanna shout shit into the void inandout: you wanna look someone in the eye when you're talking to them inandout: so you don't have to feel othered ihatemyguts: ^^ inandout: I get to do things with all my other friends inandout: that's what you guys are tigerbalm: I don't have other friends, I'm not saying it to make anyone 😿 tigerbalm: but I don't tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: you've got us tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and we don't need to apologize for being friends tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and I think meeting up is a really good idea, I'll be happy to help brainpain: It's okay, Robyn, none of us have done anything wrong gotspoons: I've contacted the moderators, I'll let you know when I get a response brainpain: I did too ✌️ gotspoons: Good, everyone who feels they need to, should gotspoons: I'm glad your open-day went well, Rich brainpain: me too, hot 🤓 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Thanks, guys tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: it's got potential tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: once I get there and make some changes, of course tigerbalm: 🙌 You go, Rich! 🧡 tigerbalm: not to use a banned word but you do inspire me for when I get to uni myself tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: We'll allow it, well I will because I love a compliment tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and you'll be great when you do tigerbalm: I hope my parents won't make me stay local tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: If you don't want to, you shouldn't tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: don't let anything stop you tigerbalm: I'll try not to tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: when you need them, I can throw all the resources and info at you tigerbalm: thanks brainpain: Can we talk about me now cos that's the ONLY reason I'm here LMAO ihatemyguts: @Zach, gonna come at her with your famous line? inandout: you've built it up now ihatemyguts: 🙄 ugh, baby inandout: are we at pet names? cool ihatemyguts: 😂 shut up ihatemyguts: but don't, all voices welcome inandout: yours is dragon ball z inandout: for today ihatemyguts: romantic ihatemyguts: we're meant to be talking about Lauren inandout: Lauren's is low blow ihatemyguts: got a real talent, kid ihatemyguts: may as well do the entire group inandout: wouldn't wanna exclude anyone ihatemyguts: 😏 ihatemyguts: no one will be devastated about that, trust me inandout: damn inandout: or dang ihatemyguts: is that another group rule I've shamelessly flouted? 😬 brainpain: It's a me rule, dragon ball brainpain: you're safe in this safe space ihatemyguts: I'll do my best to mind my Ps & Qs ihatemyguts: 🤞 brainpain: you're fine I'm just aware of my 👵 status brainpain: don't wanna spook the 👶s ihatemyguts: thoughtful ihatemyguts: 👌 brainpain: who knew? brainpain: check me out, not being a huge b word ihatemyguts: honestly, disappointing brainpain: @ my exes ihatemyguts: they aren't here, are they ihatemyguts: @fibro not included brainpain: only my next brainpain: when I snag Rich for myself brainpain: gotta tame that playboy ihatemyguts: so many 💔💔💔 @ this news brainpain: long as you're not brainpain: he's too old for you, babe tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I feel used tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and yes, much too 👴 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: be your ex-husband at this rate brainpain: I'm not gonna say, you can use me too, in front of the children brainpain: but mutual love & respect, boy tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Shocking behaviour, Mrs brainpain: asking for discipline would also be over the line, sir gotspoons: OKAY gotspoons: putting a stop to this convo thank you gotspoons: 😳 gotspoons: 😳 gotspoons: 😳 gotspoons: 😳 gotspoons: have I covered it? brainpain: g dang it, Rich! Have I not been involved in enough controversy for one day? brainpain: turn away from me, you sexy beast gotspoons: you're very cute but terrible gotspoons: ogre princess putting her foot down on this one tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I'll take the blame tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: rushing to your defense again brainpain: 😍 ihatemyguts: sure wish someone would run in and change the topic ihatemyguts: it's like mum and dad have had too much 🍷 inandout: could be a prime time for you to ask Robbie on your first date, dbz ihatemyguts: Oh yeah! 💡 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 💘 is in the air tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: careful, Zach ihatemyguts: Robyn, have you decided what you're gonna wear to your party yet? tigerbalm: I have a moodboard tigerbalm: would you like to see it? ihatemyguts: Um, absolutely tigerbalm: [that moodboard] ihatemyguts: So, you'd be up for going into town to try-on stuff, right? ihatemyguts: I can think of some shops with some unique stuff tigerbalm: 😺!!! ihatemyguts: Is that a yes 😺 or a I'm calling the police 😺? tigerbalm: I'd love to tigerbalm: my parents might call the police though ihatemyguts: that's alright, I've given you a fake name tigerbalm: they would think so tigerbalm: but their name choices are pretty boring ihatemyguts: at least you've got a super cute name ihatemyguts: if it'd make them feel better though, I'll come meet them or whatever tigerbalm: oh thanks x2 tigerbalm: that's so nice ihatemyguts: 'course ihatemyguts: who doesn't like shopping? inandout: I don't inandout: that much ihatemyguts: that'll be why you didn't ask yourself inandout: I would never third wheel your date inandout: very uncool ihatemyguts: well, if anyone does wanna come along, that'd be alright brainpain: happy to invite myself into any convo or situation ihatemyguts: 🤓 or 😎 ihatemyguts: you could do our makeup ihatemyguts: because not joking about the trainwreck it is when I do ihatemyguts: 🤡 not the theme brainpain: to avoid a spooky 🤡 resurge brainpain: I shall gotspoons: 😱😱😱😱 gotspoons: I hate clowns tigerbalm: SAME! my brothers love the 🤡🎈 films but I can't watch 🙀 gotspoons: Nooooooo gotspoons: even the advert was scary tigerbalm: ever since I went to the 🎪🐘🤡🍿 as a child I'm like traumatised inandout: once I got dragged along when my parents went shopping for a sofa and there was a clown there inandout: as a mascot or something gotspoons: 😭 THAT'S HORRIFYING inandout: fever dreams are made of this inandout: he kept trying to ruffle my hair ihatemyguts: definitely a bad omen ihatemyguts: that clown was there to warn you about...something inandout: I'm not classing it as a date though, you still get to go first inandout: the warning'll simply be my impending death ihatemyguts: your first bad omen ihatemyguts: n'awh inandout: cute, right? ihatemyguts: 🐭 🐹 🐰 inandout: 🐿🦔 ihatemyguts: 🦄 brainpain: sure, I'll chaperone you two brainpain: ✨ ihatemyguts: result brainpain: arms length, Zachary gotspoons: I feel like I'm on a dating site brainpain: there'd be way more fibros if we were gotspoons: I've never even attempted to date gotspoons: such a minefield brainpain: if you change your mind, I'll get my sister to list off which ones to avoid brainpain: she feeds me a new spooky story weekly gotspoons: see, it's bad enough without the added 'who I am' drama brainpain: get yourself a love interest with more 🚑💊💉 drama than you, that's what I do brainpain: you're the chill one by comparison gotspoons: Rich is still here lurking, you know 🤭 brainpain: he knows what we have is deep + meaningful tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👌 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: very serious brainpain: I'm coaching Rosie for her first venture into dating not discussing our lengthy but ultimately doomed love affair tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: doomed because 💀💀 or doomed because someone will join the group with ultimate 🚑💊💉 drama and better hair? brainpain: @Zach with that death clock bs brainpain: doomed cos you'll meet a hot 🤓 at uni brainpain: nobody has better hair than either of us tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Okay then, I won't be pre-offended and call you out on that nonsense brainpain: that isn't a promise that you'll still have time for me brainpain: we're all waiting, Rich tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: depends how hot and how nerdy this university girl is, of course brainpain: Profess your undying love for me or get out, honestly tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 😏 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Rosie will shut it down again brainpain: 😉 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: She's a hater 💔 gotspoons: 😱 Rich! gotspoons: I'm very supportive brainpain: LOL gotspoons: 😥 gotspoons: I love love brainpain: you're a 🧸 brainpain: I love you, Rosemary brainpain: feel free to ignore my husband gotspoons: I ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 you all too gotspoons: even if you test my nerves sometimes, it's only in a good way 😅 tigerbalm: So, if one of us had a 'normal' crush, would that be doomed? tigerbalm: asking for a friend 😳 gotspoons: OF COURSE NOT gotspoons: you're beautiful gotspoons: spill spill! tigerbalm: there isn't much to say except his running route goes past my house tigerbalm: we've 👋 at each other but no conversation has happened gotspoons: HOW EXCITING ihatemyguts: You've gotta talk to him ihatemyguts: such a meet-cute tigerbalm: I have no idea what I would say ihatemyguts: a hello to go with the 👋 to start ihatemyguts: you'll know what to do tigerbalm: a 'how are you?' to follow but what then? ihatemyguts: something like...you run this route often? ihatemyguts: do you run anywhere else? ihatemyguts: are you single? tigerbalm: 🐱 gotspoons: Oh! gotspoons: What does he look like? gotspoons: Can you take a picture? gotspoons: No, perhaps not gotspoons: I've got snap happy now 😅 tigerbalm: I'll try if I can do it without anyone else noticing tigerbalm: it's okay if my cat judges me, but no humans tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I cannot officially endorse this behaviour, ladies tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: but I'm sure he would be very flattered and consider himself lucky, Robyn tigerbalm: Oh Rich, you're such a big softie 😸 brainpain: LMAO brainpain: forget the boy, I want pics of your cat tigerbalm: [cat pics] 🧡 inandout: that is a potentially judgemental looking moggy, be careful tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: girl or boy? tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: he or she is very distinguished looking, I feel tigerbalm: me & my mum were feeling outnumbered, so she got adopted too tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: fight the power ✊ tigerbalm: I have rabbits too but they would probably encourage me, they're pretty naughty tigerbalm: for fairness tigerbalm: [rabbit pics] brainpain: I had 🐭🐭 as a kid brainpain: LOVED those critters brainpain: [picture of kiddo Lauren with mice on her shoulders] ihatemyguts: I wish I was allowed pets with fur ihatemyguts: scales only inandout: I'm not either inandout: my brother's allergic ihatemyguts: maybe we have the same brother ihatemyguts: slightly concerned now inandout: yours isn't as old as mine, we know that inandout: unless some kind of freaky time loop or something has happened ihatemyguts: I'm you in a parallel universe inandout: before I agree to co-sign, do you have any pets with scales? ihatemyguts: 🐉 🐲 inandout: cool inandout: I accept our parallel lives ihatemyguts: [pics of your dragons 'cos probably have one each lowkey] inandout: if I'm the only petless one in the "core" I will have to hang my head ihatemyguts: you can have joint custody ihatemyguts: don't worry inandout: pet names + a pet share? What a day ihatemyguts: v generous inandout: I'm making that discovery ihatemyguts: 🎁🔍 inandout: I wish we were doing a treasure hunt inandout: that's gonna be date 4 ihatemyguts: challenge accepted ihatemyguts: you gotta find the treasure outside then rehide it though ihatemyguts: more fun inandout: rules accepted ihatemyguts: if you happen to find 💰💎🏺🧭🔮🧿📿 then we'll bury it inandout: what happens if I find a 🗝? ihatemyguts: #5 finding the 🚪 or 🔓 it fits brainpain: Wait, how many dates am I chaperoning you 👶🤓s for? brainpain: gotta find a ✏️ to write this down ihatemyguts: technically, Zach wants to wait 'til he's not 🔞 ihatemyguts: unless you're well dedicated to protect and serve ihatemyguts: also plenty of time to lose that 📄 inandout: don't listen to her, the first date is Robbie's party and we've all 📅 ihatemyguts: might be a double date ihatemyguts: 💃🏃 tigerbalm: I'm so happy that you're both coming! tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Of course they're not missing the event of the season tigerbalm: 😸😺 tigerbalm: I better plan some more tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: It is your forte tigerbalm: compliments are yours tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and hair tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: humility, less so brainpain: I can vouch for that being why we're soulmates tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: it's the way you can dominate a conversation tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: like a girl with something to say brainpain: 😏 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Tease brainpain: you'd be into it if I were tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: now she speaks 🤫 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: If Rosie isn't sleeping she'll be 😖 brainpain: I know how to behave, you're the bad influence here tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Gladly take that reputation tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: much worse could be said about me brainpain: catch that 2nd wave of drama when the haters log back in tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I hope so brainpain: only cos you missed the kick off tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Not taking politics for nothing brainpain: they can 🔫 @ me if it means you get your 🎓 babe tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: long as I can 🛡 without being fibro about it brainpain: you did tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👍 gotspoons: I was thinking gotspoons: maybe if we make more boards for specific topics, that would be better? gotspoons: then the chat could be just that, a casual chat that isn't necessarily disability related but us related, as people gotspoons: what do you guys think? brainpain: I'm in inandout: me too inandout: I was gonna make a similar suggestion but it was my last idea that started everything earlier gotspoons: It's not your fault, Zach gotspoons: I just need to do some admin, update the site tigerbalm: I can help if you need any gotspoons: Thanks, Robbie

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