#if anybody can explain why the fuck my chair is doing this so i can fix it. that'd be awesome.

[arcaneyouth]

my shit ass gamer chair has developed a quirky lil issue where the seat won't stay up and is constantly sinking down and there's nothing i can do about it. it'll last for like 2 hours and then i just can't use it anymore. and i don't feel good asking my parents for a replacement we do not have that money rn. and i apparently don't know how to tell if a chair is going to be good before it gets here (i chose this chair. it's lasted less than a year) so i would have to ask my parents to figure it out for me and they don't have that time. so. i'm kinda just. not able to use my computer for very long. so that's awesome.

[simphornies]

Can I please request Vox x Female Angel Reader (PS: Vox doesn't know what was happening to him ever since he met Reader just like in quote he ask himself "Why is my heart racing whenever I'm with her? Why am I short circuiting? And etc)

A/N: Wondrous idea! This one's been brewing for a bit though it is shorter than my other ones. There are two requests for this so for the other person that requested it, worry not! It is on the way!

Word count: 2k (2,041)

Fallen for you [Vox x Angel!F!Reader]

You made the choice to sneak into hell during the extermination. Amongst the chaos you carefully ran around rubble to rubble. Your angelic powers allowed you to heal angels, mortals and sinners alike to which you used to salvage those who could be salvaged.

You kept yourself hidden from the exorcists so they could't drag you back up to heaven on their way back from the massacre. But you didn't could't keep yourself hidden from the VoxTek cameras that roamed and covered the area.

You ran into the nearest building that had three V's plastered on the top, making sure your wings were tucked away. You look around, everyone in the building seemed to be in a trance, their eyes filled with spirals. It creeped you out a bit. You kept your head down as you roamed.

"Well, who do we have here?" A voice came from behind you, the suddenness causing you to jump. You freeze in your tracks, it certainly wasn't an exorcist's voice so you slowly turn around. Your head stayed lowered, "Pardon the intrusion, I'll leave now." You respond.

You tried to walk around the tall figure in front of you but he quickly blocked your way, neon blue shoes stepping closer. You look up slowly, a little scared. You were met with a grinning demon, with a television for a head? You couldn't help but cock your head in confusion.

He chuckles in response, "You must be new here." His hand reached out to you, you shook it, "Vox! Nice to meet you, stranger. And who might you be?"

"It's Y/N." You awkwardly, and nervously, smile at him, "It's a pleasure to meet you but I'll be taking my leave now! Hah..." You pull your hand away but he grabs it back, not allowing you to take a step.

"You're definitely not from around here, sweets." His eye spirals at you. You feel yourself fall into a bit of a trance, "Let's continue our conversation in my office." You weren't able to stop him from dragging you to his office.

When you came to, you found yourself sat on a chair. In front of you is Vox, watching you intently. "I haven't caused anything out of the ordinary. I'd hate to waste your time, this is not necessary-" You try to explain.

A screen comes down next to him before he speaks. "You're not from here." He speaks in a low, distorted voice. The screen shows clips of you flying down amongst the exorcists, wings in plain view, followed by you sneaking around. "You're an angel and you're in my building." His voice sounded threatening. "What business do you have here and why are you helping hell."

"I..." You sigh, "Look. I snuck out of heaven. I don't want to be there anymore and with the exorcists leaving, they most likely have noticed I left for hell. I'm bound to be a fallen any day now and I honestly could care any less. Look, I'll...I'll work for you!" You pleaded, "Please just don't let anybody else know."

.

It's been a while since you struck a non-binding deal with Vox. You two got close after a couple months of him being on guard around you. Well, he's still on guard around you no matter how much you've tried to get his walls down. He kept his end of the stick, reasons unknown to you and told nobody about your secret. You chose to share it with the other Vees though and they were more than glad to have such power on their side.

Vox watched as you conversed with the two, his mind racing as quick as his heart. He didn't understand why in the fuck, his words, he couldn't compose himself properly around you. Your smile alone could make hims heart pound out of his chest. For a while he was convinced it was some angelic power but it was quickly debunked by you. You always smiled and your smile warmed his cold heart, constantly making him short circuit.

He was so lost in thought that he didn't realize you were in front of him, repeating his name over and over. He genuinely thought it was all in his head since his mind was constantly filled with the thought of you. You repeated his name over and over until he snapped out of it.

"Vox? Vooooox?" You repeated until he finally set his gaze on you, "Vox, are you okay? What's going on? You were kinda wonky there for a second. There's sparks coming out of you."

"Y/N! I'm fine. Appreciate the concern," He lied, "I'm just...thinking." He turned away from you so you couldn't see his screen glitching. He pretended like he was just looking out the window.

"Anyways," You looked out the window, admiring whatever he's looking at, the sharks you assume. "Vel and Val said we're going out tonight. And they told me to tell you to dress up, or something."

"Thank you. I'll get ready soon."

"Hey." You place a hand on his shoulder. He finally looks at you, staring into your eyes that hypnotized him better than he could hypnotize anybody. "If you need anything, I'll help you. You know that, right?" Your words received a small smile from him.

"Thank you, angel." Angel became a nickname of sorts from him to you. You smile sweetly at him and head out to get ready.

.

Vox was an absolute mess. He was the last to get ready for once and not Valentino. He wanted to look his best and though this usually wasn't a problem for him, it was now. For some reason he couldn't understand he needed to look his best around you.

Velvette bursts into his room while he's frantically trying to pick a bowtie. "What the fuck is taking so long with you? I expect this shit from Valentino but not from you."

He groans, "I can't pick a damn outfit!" He glitched.

"Why in the dead fuck do you care?" She scoffed, putting his outfit together for him with a swipe of her hand.

"I..." He took a deep breath, "I don't know. I feel like Y/N has some weird angelic power on me. I just can't stop thinking about her ever since I met her. She always short-circuits me, making my fans go on overdrive and-"

"Woah woah woah. Slow the fuck down." Velvette laughed, "You are such a fucking dumbass! You're so stupid." She was now on the floor, cackling at him.

"What?!"

"You like her. You're so dense. Oh my fuck." She gets up, wiping tears off her eyes, "I'm so gonna tell her."

"NO." He yelled, voice distorted and eye spiraling. "I'll do it. Later."

"Bet you won't, pussy."

.

You arrived a little bit after the Vees. You had something, or rather someone, to take care of. Ever since you were officially fallen from heaven, you've gotten quite accustomed to death and the whole "fighting for your life" thing.

Vox was impatiently awaiting your arrival, constantly fidgeting in his seat which earned him a kick or two from both Valentino and Velvette. Velvette caught Valentino up on Vox's situation and he wasn't hearing the end of it for the whole car ride.

He heard heels clicking and he turned a bit too quickly at your arrival. "Y/N! You've fi-finally arrived!" He glitched a bit again at the sight of you. He was never a fan of angels and frankly never understood the whole rave about their beauty but the moment he saw you his mind changed completely.

There you stood in front of him in a blouse and a skirt that hugged your curves right. Eyes were a staple detail in all of your outfits and it showed. You had rings on, few of which had red eyes. Your necklace, a gift from Vox, was his signature spiral eye. It doubled as an alarm for you in case you were in danger, not like you needed it considering you still had angelic powers, much stronger than any overlord but less than Lucifer and his daughter.

He had his arms out for a hug for you, a rare gesture from him. You gave him a tight hug and you swear you felt his circuits warm up again. He was smiling brightly at you, honored to have you in his presence and his life.

"Sorry. Had to deal with a couple sinners. You know someone tried fucking one of Val's employees on the street? For free?" Val almost flipped the table, "It's okay! It's okay. He's locked up in your room."

Val chuckles evilly, "Thank you."

Vox pulls your chair out for you before sitting himself down. The four of you talk business and you took notice of how much Vox kept staring at you. You got a little flustered, constantly fiddling with your hair.

You and Vox kept notice of each other but both of you remained unaware of the looks you received from Valentino and Velvette. They just needed some popcorn and they'd be set. Velvette made up an excuse to walk out to give you both space, dragging Valentino behind her. She placed a hand on Vox's shoulder and whispered, "$500 if you don't do this shit, tonight." She plastered a smile before leaving, "Kisses, darlings! So sorry we couldn't stay."

It was now just the two of you. Vox's heart was pounding loudly and his face was slowly getting brighter. You were pitching him an idea for the next release in VoxTek but you stopped when you saw his screen quite literally not there anymore.

"Vox? You've been glitching a lot lately and I'm getting worried..." You scoot your chair closer to him, "Do you need any parts? I can put them in for you or reboot your system." You put you hand on the side of his screen which jolted him back.

"No! I'm fine. I just," He clears his throat, still glitching out with sparks flying everywhere. "I have a lot on my mind."

"You can talk to me, I'm here to listen." You hold his hand for comfort but this just further heated him up. You feel him clutch your hands for once.

He takes a deep breath in before looking at you, "I have a confession to make. To you." You looked at him worried that he's having business problems, or something. "I like you." Vox felt like a weight has been lifted off of him but now he was filled with an overwhelming sense of fear that you'd reject him.

"Oh, Vox..." You spoke softly, holding his hand closer to you, "I like you too. Is that why you've been glitching lately?" You had an empathetic look on your face.

"You do?" He was in shock. His demeanor was new to you, he was vulnerable.

"Vox. You took me in and kept my secret with basically nothing in return and I am eternally grateful." You smile sweetly at him, "Vox. You didn't need to keep such a thing from me for so long to the point where you glitch and short-circuit. I was so worried."

He let out a sigh of relief, "Oh thank fuck." He felt as if he hadn't been breathing this whole time. He gave you a kiss on the back of your hand, "I will give you everything you ever ask for. I will protect you no matter what. You're such a...a breath of fresh air. I thought you had some angelic power hold on me."

You laugh at his statement, "Angelic power hold, Vox? Really?" You were giggling uncontrollably at this point.

"Shut up!" He said in embarrassment, "Anyways! Y/N, will you be with me for the rest of eternity?"

You gave him a kiss on his screen, "Gladly, Vox."

While you two were cuddling it up in the restaurant while talking about business endeavors, Vox got a text on his phone from Velvette. She had sent him $500 with a text saying 'Treat her right or I'm putting her in my show.' after it.

[pupyuj]

gamer g!p yujin x fem!reader 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕 im so down bad for yujin SORRY

i come bearing a very self-indulgent and specific gift for this prompt hehe 😈😈

see, i'd make yujin a loser here cuz ya'll know why BUT i thought it'd be fun to make her a cool n sexy gamer bcs only ahn yujin can pull that off 😼 anyway, she'd love making you play her games!! yujin has the brightest smile on her face when you sit down on a separate chair beside her while she's gaming and ask questions 🥺 and she falls even harder for you when she notices how well you listen to her while she's explaining stuff like the nerd that she secretly is ☺️☺️ yujin would probably be a pretty popular streamer too! she's pretty, she's funny, she's actually good at every game she plays, and she can talk really well even through the screen and the camera!! her viewers love catching you standing behind her, completely immersed in her gameplay that you don't say anything—they think you're so cute 😭 the two of you are probably a popular ship on twitch LMAO 😭

and now comes menace gamer bf yujin who makes you play her games while you're sat on her lap,, being the pervert that she is, she has her hands all over you while you're trying to learn,, of course yujin only does this when the cameras are turned off—she doesn't want anybody to see you in ways only she's allowed to. she rubs your nipples through your shirt, but you don't even notice at first bcs you're so focused on the game, what a cutie :(( you finally take notice of the sensation when yujin pinches on them, making you let out a small gasp that always sounded so fucking good in yujin's ears,,

she definitely fondles your tits underneath your shirt while she whispers instructions in your ear,, knows how much it's affecting you by the way you shivered and tried your hardest to hold back your whimpers but is a bit annoyed bcs you're so well in the game still?? 😭 and god,, she's always making sure that your position on her lap is perfect with your ass right on her bulge,, it makes everything easier on her part,, gently puts her hands on your hips and starts grinding up slowly,, exaggerates her moans just to get your attention, gives you that shit-eating smirk-smile she always has on when she knew she was getting inside your head.. and then she gets really fucking annoying 🤭🤭

yujin slipping her hand inside your shorts to rub your needy clit through your panties, still grinding on your ass, lips right on your ear while she whispers, "my good girl's gonna complete this level for daddy, right?" guys what the fuck i need her—

and ofc you have no choice but to nod and whimper :(( and oh, how she fucking loves that 😩😩

yujin knowing what exactly gets you to do whatever she wants to make you do.. "sit on my cock. if you do well enough maybe i'll fuck you, but if you don't... you're not coming at all tonight." and being the pathetic slut that you are, you obey! cockwarming yuj while you try your hardest to play but she's making it so hard :(( between her small, slow thrusts from time to time, fingertips barely brushing against your clit, a semi-hard grip on your thigh, and the soft moans that left her mouth every time you adjusted yourself a little bit... how could you not lose control of yourself?? 😣

barely a second after completing the level and you immediately drop the controller on the floor.. yujin grabbing you by the back of your shirt, pulling you into her and pressing her fingers against your clit hard, making you moan loudly and grab onto her wrist, "so good for daddy, aren't you?" yujin says against your ear,, fuck she'd lick from the crook of your neck to the spot behind your ear just to hear your sweet moans,, yujin doesn't hesitate to manhandle you either! especially when she's desperate to fuck you like this.. throwing you down on the couch with your ass up and face buried on one of the couch pillows, but she pulls your hair so your voice could fill the air while she pounded you from behind 🫣 gawd... her one hand holding your waist in a death grip, muttering curses as well as your name while she fucks into you with her big dick :((

"just like that.. fuck yourself into my cock—god.. good girl..!"

"that's my girl.. move, (y/n)..."

"you like daddy's games, huh..? don't worry, we'll get to play more.. so much more.. f-fuck! i'm.. c-coming—"

looking behind you just to see the sight of yujin's pleasured expression with her eyes shut tight and teeth biting her lip while sweat drips down her perfect neck.. 😳😳😳

[pixystixx]

Hiiii can you do a pt 2 of you should date like maybe where reader and colby actually try dating but keep it a secret bc they just want it to themselves a but but a fan sees them together or smtg ??

You Should Date! (Part 2)

omg i'm sorry it's been like four months... i had to stop writing everything for awhile, so whenever i was writing i was only writing for my current fanfic. i finally am getting around to writing more things ago tho

colbybrock x f!reader

Summary: Colby and you decide to give dating a try after weeks of tension and subtle hints. The two of you agree to keep it a secret. That doesn’t stop you guys from doing fun things. You decide to go on a little cafe date, but the risk is too great. What happens when a fan spots you guys?

༻❦༺

“I’m just so lonely these days,” you sigh. You’re lying on Colby’s couch, complaining about your dating life. You’re trying to make it sound like you don’t have a massive crush on Colby. You think maybe if you act extremely desperate, he’ll cave and suddenly start liking you. 

“Am I not enough for you?” Colby teases. You shake your head and groan. 

“I’m talking about my lonely romantic life. Are you my boyfriend?” You ask, looking at Colby with a deadpan stare. His cheeks turn red, and he shrugs. “That’s what I thought.”

“I don’t understand why you’re so hung up on being single. I’m sure if you asked any guy out, they would say yes,” Colby explains, “Hell, I’d probably date you.”

“Yeah, right,” You laugh. Even the slight possibility of that happening makes your face heat up. 

“Y/N, you are so fucking oblivious,” Colby huffs. He leans into you and grabs your chin, pulling your lips together. His lips are soft and push gently against yours. You both pull away from the kiss and look at each other awkwardly. Colby’s lips turn up into a smile. You touch your fingers to your lips, the feeling of Colby’s still lingering.

“Colby…” you mumble, “can I be honest with you?” He nods his head softly and brushes his hair out of his eyes. “I’ve liked you for a while. I thought that you’ve been messing with me. Were you actually flirting with me?”

“Y/N, I–,” Colby whispers. He doesn’t finish his sentence and stares at you silently. You tilt your head, confused. Colby smiles, puzzling you further. “I’ve been flirting with you for a year. I wonder how anything gets into that thick head of yours.”

You sigh and pout at him, “My head isn’t thick.”

“It took you until now to realize that I liked you,” Colby chuckles.

“You like me?”

“Of course I do,” Colby nods, caressing your cheek, “Will you be my girlfriend?” The sudden question makes your cheeks turn red. You fidget with your fingers and look down at Colby’s couch. Colby tilts your chin up with his hands, making you look into his eyes. His attention is too much, so you lean into his lips. You kiss him softly, trying to convey your feelings to his lips. You pull away, and he asks, “Is that a yes?” You smile, ruffling his hair.

“Colby, your fans are gonna think I’m some evil hoe taking you from them,” You blurt out, realizing the terms you just agreed to.

“That’s why we won’t tell anybody.”

༻❦༺

It’s been a few weeks since you and Colby started dating. You’ve been keeping in on the low, only telling Sam and a few other friends. Everyone’s been happy for you two. Today, you and Colby decided to go on a small cafe date. Nobody’s noticed your little dates. In reality, the new relationship hasn’t changed anything between you and Colby. Why would the fans notice?

Colby holds your hand subtly, just in case people are watching. You two walk into a small cafe that’s practically empty. Colby pulls out the chair for you, being the gentleman he is. He sits across from you. 

“You look really pretty,” Colby compliments you. You smile and hide your blush with your hands. “You should wear that dress more often.” You nod, and he laughs at your quietness.

“What should I get? I know you come here a lot,” you say, switching the topic. Colby hands you the cafe’s menu. He points to a few things on the menu. Colby orders a sandwich and a coffee. You ordered a wrap and a latte that sounded nice. Another couple with a dog walks in. Your eyes glimmer at the sight of the pocket-sized puppy.

“Your dog is so cute,” you say to the couple. The couple smiles, walking over to you.

“Thank you! We just got him a week ago,” the woman responds.

“Ah, he’s so little,” you marvel, “Can I pet him?” The woman nods, and you pet the dog carefully. He wags his tail, and you smile brightly. “Thank you so much! Enjoy your lunch!” The couple waves, sitting down at a nearby table.

“You’re too cute, Y/N,” Colby teases, pinching your cheeks. You kick him lightly under the table as your cheeks turn pink. Your food arrives, and you guys eat happily. You take a sip of your latte and feel the foam coat your lips. You lick off the foam, and Colby laughs at you.

“What?”

Colby reaches forward and wipes his thumb across your upper lip. There’s white foam on his finger, and you laugh. He licks the foam off his finger with a smile. 

“You’re so clumsy.” You shake your head. He nods. You reach across the table to kiss him. You peck his lips softly before sitting down again. Hopefully, no one saw.

༻❦༺

After your date, the two of you went home to watch a movie. You open your phone to find the internet in shambles. 

COLBY BROCK, NEW GIRLFRIEND!!!

COLBY BROCK SECRETLY DATING HIS BEST FRIEND?!?!?!?!

Y/N AND COLBY BROCK CAUGHT KISSING IN PUBLIC!

You and Colby sigh before tossing your phones on the bed. “Shit,” Colby mutters.

[alyswritings]

Don't Hit

Request: Hi I love your work! Is there any chance you could make a JJ maybank x sister reader? The reader is young, 8 years old, she makes JJ mad and she thinks he is going to hit her so she screams like ‘I’m sorry, please don’t hit me’ and he instantly feels bad. Then she apologises and runs out of the chateau to John B and pope

JJ Maybank x sister!reader

Summary: JJ accidentally scares his baby sister.

Warnings: mentions of abuse

a/n: thank you for the request! hope you all enjoy!

(gif not mine)

When JJ was seven, his dad somehow managed to hold down a girlfriend for a few months. What anybody would see in Luke Maybank, JJ didn't know. He was always drunk or high and he's scary when he's mad.

By time JJ was eight, Luke's ex-girlfriend had dropped a baby girl off at the Maybank family's doorstep. All that came with her was her birth certificate and a note explaining that she was Luke's kid and that her mother couldn't handle it, so she left her with Luke.

JJ wasn't sure about keeping the baby. Sure, he always wanted a sibling, but he knew that if she stayed there was a chance he'd have to go through what he did. And he wouldn't wish that on anyone, not even some stuck up kook.

Luke always talked about giving her away, but he never actually cared enough to drop her off somewhere. Despite always saying he'd take her to a fire station or orphanage or something, it somehow ended up never happening, and before they knew it, Y/N was officially growing up in their care. Well, JJ's care.

Luke didn't do anything, JJ taking on all of the responsibilities. He went to the chateau and got Big John to teach him how to change diapers, what babies can and can't eat, tricks to help her fall asleep when she's fussy.

Big John let JJ and Y/N spend the night whenever they needed. As Y/N started to grow up, JJ got help from both Big John and Pope's parents. It was much easier when she entered school so that JJ didn't have to worry about where she'd be while he went to school.

He missed a lot of school days, passing by some weird miracle. Luke only participated in the whole procedure to get Y/N into school since he knew it meant she'd be out of the house more.

While Luke often says mean and vile things to Y/N, she's only been a victim of his physical abuse a handful of times. JJ always manages to protect her and makes sure he takes any hits that could be given to her.

All of the pogues treating Y/N like their own little sister. The only time she's really not with them is when they go to keggers.

JJ and Y/N are currently at the chateau, like they usually are. Aside from John B, Pope is the only other pogue there. The three guys are outside while Y/N is inside.

Y/N is playing with her toys, dressed up in a princess dress. Y/N is trying to make a fort and needs the blanket. She pulls it off a bit and shakes it, trying to flatten it out.

She hears something crash into the wall and then a thump on the floor. Y/N drops the blanket, walking around the other side of the bed, finding JJ's phone on the floor.

Y/N nervously picks it up, her heart dropping at the big crack on the screen. Y/N tries to turn it on, but doesn't get anything.

"No, no, no." She mumbles. JJ usually doesn't get too mad at her for anything, understanding she's still young and also that mistakes happen. Even when he does have to be stern, he still doesn't really scare.

Y/N hears the door to the house open and then slam shut and footsteps move closer to the room. She stands upright, holding the phone behind her back, watching JJ walk in.

"Hey, Y/N. Have you seen my phone? I gotta show the guys something." JJ says, not really giving her a look as he continues to rummage around for his phone.

"Um..." She mumbles, trying to think of how to tell him.

"Why is the blanket all fucked up?" JJ asks, but sees the chairs, realizing she wanted to make a fort. "Oh, cool. You need help with the fort?"

"Uh..." She whispers nervously. JJ turns to her, finally noticing the nervous look in her eye.

"Whoa, hey, what's wrong?" JJ asks.

"I... I didn't mean to." Y/N mumbles.

"Mean to what?" JJ asks.

Y/N looks down and she holds the broken phone out. JJ snatches the phone out of her hand, looking at the cracked screen. He tries to turn it on, tapping it a few times.

"Oh, come on, come on. No, no, no." JJ quietly whines. "What the fuck?" He harshly whispers, mostly to himself more so than Y/N. She glances up at him, anxiously fiddling with her dress. "What the hell happened?"

"I... I accidentally threw it." Y/N timidly answers.

"Accidentally threw it? How the hell do you accidentally throw something? Y/N, you know not to touch my shit! Especially if it's fucking breakable!" JJ yells. Y/N whines a little, tears gathering in her eyes. "I've told you, don't mess with things that aren't yours and you have to be careful with my phone! You know better than that!"

"I-- I'm sorry." Y/N says.

"I need this thing for work, but now it's freaking broken!"

"I'm sorry! Please don't hit me!" The eight year old sobs.

JJ freezes at her words, his face paling at the mere idea of him laying a hand on her. He swears he feels his heart shatter as he looks into her scared eyes full of tears which stream down her face.

While JJ has been able to save her from most of the abuse, he still hasn't been able to completely hide her from it. She's seen Luke hit JJ on multiple occasions, it scaring her almost as much as when he tries to hurt her.

"Kiddo, I'm not--" JJ holds a hand out to touch her shoulder, his heart dropping and tears springing to his eyes when she flinches away from him.

"I'm sorry!" Y/N hiccups, running out of the room, and a moment later, JJ hears the screen door fall shut. JJ takes the best deep breath he can. He feels anger at himself and he throws his phone across the room, it breaking.

JJ lets a small sob out, sitting on the bed, burying his hands in his hair.

Y/N runs out to where John B and Pope are sitting and she crashes into Pope.

"Whoa." Pope mumbles, making sure his beer doesn't spill on her. The two share confused looks before hearing her crying. Pope wraps his arms around her tightly, rubbing her back. "What happened?"

Y/N doesn't answer, only continuing to sob. Pope puts his beer down and pulls her onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her more, trying to console her.

John B puts his beer down and gets up, rushing inside the chateau. He goes into the bedroom, finding JJ sitting on the bed with his head in his hands.

"Dude, what the fuck happened with Y/N? She's out there, soaking Pope's shirt with her tears." John B says. "Dude, what's up?" He asks after JJ doesn't answer.

JJ finally lifts his head, John B noticing the rim of the blonde's eyes red. His eyes are glossy with tears and there tear stains on both his cheeks.

"Dude, what the hell happened?" John B asks, his voice both now holding confusion and concern.

"I didn't mean to." JJ mumbles.

"Mean to what?" John B asks, sitting next to his best friend.

"I... I scared her. I'm my fucking dad, man." JJ sniffles.

"No. No, JJ, you're not your dad." John B argues. "Look, just tell me what happened?"

"I... I came in, looking for my phone. And-- and I couldn't find it, and then she was holding it and-- and it was cracked. And I don't-- I mean, I was mad, but I wasn't that mad. I wasn't mad enough to snap at her, I-- fuck. I fucked up."

"She broke your phone?" John B asks.

"Accidentally." JJ says. "She-- she said she accidentally threw it." JJ says. "But she... I-I was yelling and-- and she was crying and... she asked me not to hit her." He says, his voice quiet as it breaks. "She thought I was gonna hit her." He cries, pressing his eyes into the palms of his hands to keep the tears in.

John B's not completely sure what to do, but places a comforting hand on his friend's back, letting him know he's there.

"JJ, you're not your dad." John B states, his voice soft but also firm so he gets his point across. "Sometimes people snap and they yell. You just have to apologize and she'll be okay."

"We don't know that." JJ says.

"Yes, we do. She loves you more than anything, JJ. And she knows you'd never hurt her." John B says.

"No, man, she flinched." JJ states. "I-- I reached out to put my hand on her shoulder or-or hold onto her hand, and-- and she flinched. I made her flinch."

"Kids can be jumpy." John B shrugs, trying to dismiss it.

"So it's just a coincidence she flinched at her brother who kept yelling after being traumatized by watching her dad hit said brother countless times?"

"Yes." John B nods. JJ gives him a look. "J, look, just-- just you know, calm down. Collect yourself so you don't break down in front of her or something, and then go talk to her. She'll forgive you, it'll be all right."

John B pats him on the back before leaving to let JJ have some time alone.

- - -

JJ managed to calm down eventually and he makes his way outside. He sees John B and Pope by the porch and they both point out Y/N who is on the hammock.

JJ walks over, seeing Y/N playing with a handful of flowers he knows she picked from somewhere around the chateau.

"Munchkin." He gently calls. Y/N looks up, quickly looking back down. JJ harshly swallows, doing his best to keep his emotions under control. "Can I sit down?" He asks, reaching out towards the hammock.

Y/N seems to consider for a moment before nodding. JJ sits on the hammock, keeping whatever distance he can from her so he doesn't scare her off.

"Look, sweetie, I... I am so sorry... for yelling at you -- for scaring you. I never wanted to scare you or-or yell at you. I should've been calmer about it. And I'm really, really sorry." JJ tells her.

"I'm sorry I broke your phone." Y/N frowns.

"Can you tell me how it broke?" JJ asks. Y/N nervously glances up at him. "It's okay. I won't be mad, I promise." Y/N stares at him for a few seconds, comforted by the reassuring, soft look in his eyes.

"I... I wanted to make a fort. I needed the blanket and-- and I shook it so I could get it flat. And then I... I heard something hit the wall and it was your phone. I got... I just got really scared and I didn't want you to hate me or hurt me like dad does." She sniffles.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay. It's okay." JJ reassures. He goes to hold her, but stops, remembering how she flinched last time he reached out. "I'm not mad at you."

"You're not?" Y/N asks.

"No. No, I'm not mad. I'm not mad. I don't hate you. I'm not gonna hurt you." JJ promises.

"I'm... I'm sorry I flinched." Y/N says, a few tears falling down her face.

"It's okay. It-- I should've known better. The emotions were too high for physical contact. It's okay." JJ says.

Y/N puts the flowers down and gets up, tightly hugging JJ. He wastes no time in wrapping his arms around her, feeling relieved she's not scared of him enough to not let him hug her. He holds onto her as tightly as he can without hurting her.

Y/N buries her face in his shoulder and starts to sob making JJ tighten his grip.

"It's okay, munchkin. I got you. I got you." JJ soothes.

"I don't-- I don't like daddy." Y/N sobs.

"I know, baby. I know." JJ says quietly. He closes his eyes, trying to keep his tears in so he doesn't start crying. He strokes her hair, kissing the side of her head. He wishes she didn't have any experience with their dad. Part of him wishes her mom would've kept her because then she'd never know Luke or the pain he's capable of causing.

"I got you, munchkin. I got you." JJ continues to comfort.

After a while, Y/N's cries start to cease and she cuddles into JJ's chest. He keeps his arms around her, his head resting on top of hers as he plays with the ends of her hair.

"Hey." JJ quietly calls, lifting his head. Y/N looks up at him and he cups her face. "You need to know that I would never, never, ever hit you. I will in no way ever cause you any sort of injury or pain. As you get older, and with me responsible for you, we'll probably fight sometimes, but I will never hurt you. Okay?"

"I know." Y/N nods.

"You do?" JJ asks and Y/N nods, giving him a small smile. "Okay." He whispers. He kisses her on the forehead, bringing her back into another hug, swaying them back and forth a little.

Y/N pulls out of his hold and grabs her flowers. She picks a yellow daisy out and smiles as she places it behind JJ's ear.

"What's that for?" JJ asks.

"You look pretty." Y/N grins, patting his cheek. JJ chuckles.

"Okay." He mutters, grabbing one of the purple flowers. He tucks it behind his sister's ear, making sure it says. Y/N giggles, hugging JJ again.

"So... you still wanna go build a fort?" JJ asks. Y/N gasps, excitedly nodding. JJ softly smiles, glad to see her usual happy grin and sparkling eyes.

Taglist: @glxwingrxse @venomsvl @wildieflower @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @itsmaneskinbitch @ironmaiden1313

[1whore1gang]

its the little things 🤍

PART 8!! Woo

catch up HERE

There’s a very small easter egg in this story and if you catch it, you can have a cookie 🍪

Warnings: VIOLENCE, VERY GORY VIOLENCE , cursing, you get hit/attacked by a man, lots of angst, lots of hurt

PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION. THIS CHAPTER IS A FUCKED UP AND I CANNOT STRESS THE WARNINGS ENOUGH!!! MDNI!! PLEASE ADHERE TO THE WARNINGS!!!

Taglist: @gaymistakeboi @batw3nch @thedevillovesflowers @almightywdm @ghostslittlegf @sketchyfandomgirl @under-the-dirt @clear-your-mind-and-dream @darkangel4121 @vreselia @llemes @stargaliz @rockcollector3000 @nottrosaxx @azu21 @kaoyamamegami @vicktorfan @ghost-is-my-bbg

IM SO SORRY IF I FORGOT YOU PLZ FORGIVE ME

i’m so sorry but omg i’m in love with this chapter although it’s VERY SHORT

The way you looked down at the note, you could feel your heart breaking. He had left you alone without any warning or notice, and 3 days early.

My dearest Y/N,

I know this is going to hurt you, and I know I’m in for it when I call you next. Please answer that call so I can explain everything. Just know this was not my choice, and it was all so out of my hands. I promise to you that I will make it up to you the moment your feet step onto the tarmac of base. I miss you already and I am so sorry baby.

I have arranged for you to stay in my tent versus your small one. This way you have access to a shower, bathroom and a real bed with A/C. If anyone gives you problems, drop Laswell’s name, she’ll cover for you.

I love you so much and I hope you will hear me out.

Your John

You felt hot tears stain the collar of his hoodie on your body. You felt so betrayed, yet so conflicted. Everytime you think you knew him or understood him, something like this would come up and you’d question everything.

You slammed the note back down onto the desk and went to go look at your phone, but there was nothing from him. Your phone hit the ground with a clatter as you threw it across the tent.

The anger boiled inside you, wanting any reason to boil over and explode.

“Lieutenant!!”

There was your reason.

Snyder came into your tent to find you in nothing but a hoodie, your hair a pulled up mess and your face red hot with tears. “What.” Your voice was scarily low.

“You need to be out in the field!” Snyder snapped back at you with a barking tone.

“Who the hell do you think you are to speak to me like that?” You stood up, facing him.

“I am your superior. Your guard dog won’t be able to do much when he’s gone. Get dressed.” He left the tent abruptly, leaving you alone with the silence again.

You reluctantly got dressed, leaving your tent and catching a ride to the embassy to assume your position.

While standing on guard, you realize Snyder had said ‘when he leaves’. He doesn’t know Price had left. You were still safe under the guise that Snyder was clueless. You took a deep breath and decided you had to keep up the act that Price was still here, at least for as long as you can.

And you did, for about a week. People started to whisper, wondering why they hadn’t seen Price with you in awhile. They hadn’t seen him at all in awhile.

“Lieutenant? Can I ask you a question?” One of your soldier, Private Sanchez, came up to you while at the embassy.

“Yeah what’s up Sanchez?” You turned in your chair to look at her.

“Why hasn’t anybody seen the Captain in awhile? Is everything ok? Everyone’s making up rumors but I just wanted to outright ask.” She shot you a smile. “People think he went home.”

You sigh, looking around. “He did. But I don’t go around flashing that to people because otherwise I won’t have it to easy.” You trusted Sanchez, she’s really proven herself on this mission and was easily up for promotion when you got back to base.

“With Snyder?”

You nod. “Yeah. You having problems too?”

She nods. “You could say that. He’s an asshole.” You both laugh.

“I hear ya.”

You both sat in the security office and kept each other company while on duty.

You and Sanchez found yourself doing that a lot. You’d sit and monitor the cameras together. It helped the days go by quicker. You soon forgot about Price and his note.

It was your final week on deployment in a blink. You’d never recieved any phone calls from home, not even from Shephard or Laswell. Something was going on and you were being kept from knowing.

You were headed to the mess hall when a hand wrapped around your mouth, dragging you into a dark tent, away from everyone else. “What the fuck?!”

“Shut the hell up!” A hand comes across your cheek, leaving a stinging sensation in its wake. Fear riddled your body as you’re met face to face with Snyder.

“Did you just hit me?” You said, ready to square up to him.

“And I’ll do it again. Your little protector isn’t here, which means I can finally give you what you deserve.” You grabs you by the collar as you begin to yell for help, but he slams you down onto the ground, hands wrapped tightly around your throat. “You little visicious bitch. You’re going to ruin my career with that fucking attitude. Making me embarrass myself in front of the General.”

You could feel your consciousness slipping when his hands released and you sucked in oxygen like it was limited, and it was.

He quickly began to land blow after blow to your face, bloodying his knuckles with your blood. You began to do numb as your ability to fight back dwindled from the relentless attack. You felt pain everywhere, but soon, your vision blurred and all that was left was black.

(last warning before it gets fucked up)

….Lights

…Sounds

………A woman talking

…..A man yelling

….A helicopter

Your eyes barely opened due to the bright lights of the runway as you were rushed to a helipad.

You were accompanied by a nurse and one of your soldiers, Sargeant Russ. He was barking orders at everyone. You were hardly there, only hearing and seeing flashes of everything happening.

All you knew was whatever happened was bad.

You felt the gurney moving down a hallway in the way too bright hospital. You remember the beeping monitors, the masks, the masked doctors.

But not what happened to you after you knocked out.

You woke up a few days after the surgery, which you also don’t remember.

Opening your eyes, you look around to see Laswell in the corner, huddled over something. She turns when she sees you sitting up in the bed, rushing over to help you and calm you down. “You’re okay. You’re home, just in the hospital.” You look her over, wondering why she’s the one that’s here.

“What happened?” You ask. Your voice feels unrecognizable.

She sighs, sitting down on the bed next to you, facing you. “Snyder attacked you, knocked you unconscious. You lost a lot of blood honey. When they found you, you were in rough shape.”

“I remember that, but I don’t remember what happened after I blacked out. He was hitting me over and over and then I woke up here. Laswell, what did he do?” You were stern.

“I really think we should talk about it another day when you’re more rested.” She turned away from you, but you grabbed her hand.

“Please, I wanna know what that bastard did. Don’t keep secrets.” Her mouth opens as you watch her contemplate what she’s going to say next.

“Once he knew you were out, he began carving something into your abdomen, then stuck the knife there, inside of your body.” You were shocked.

You slowly reached down, moving the hospital gown to reveal your scar. On your stomach was an ‘S’. You began to shake violently until you realized something. “Where’s the stab wound?”

Laswell wouldn’t make eye contact with you. “Laswell? Where’s my stab wound?!”

Her eyes were filled with tears. “I’m so sorry.” She put her hand on your knee as she moved your legs apart to show you he had shoved the knife there.

You were stitched up to the nines, a catheter coming out of you. You were speechless, the horror of the situation hitting you like a truck. “Honey, I know. I’m so sorry. I should’ve never sent you on that mission.”

“Why is it always me?” Your voice was quiet.

“What?”

“It’s always me Laswell…every fucking mission I go on that involves other units something happens. Last time, it was being raped and beaten, and now I got knocked unconscious while a Captain shoved his knife up my vagina. What the hell have I done to deserve this?!” Your voice was raised now, tears burning your cheeks.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry…” Laswell held your hand as her other wiped tears from your cheek. “This time is a little different though. Snyder is already in holding. He goes to his hearing and they plan to sentence him to life. You’ll get justice this time, much faster than last time.

She shoots you a small smile. “You don’t deserve this. We also found out Snyder has done this to woman of rank in the past. He’s a messed up man.” She sighs. “I think I have something that might cheer you up though.”

You watch her get up from the bed. “What could possibly cheer me-“ You freeze as she bends down and picks something up, no not a something, a someone.

“Simon-“ You choke on your tears as he begins to cry and does the grabby hands.

Simon didn’t cry, in all the time of him being little, he only ever grunted or sniffled. Simon was whole on crying. “My Simon.” Laswell put him in your lap and as soon as she did, he leaned into you, grabbing onto your hospital gown. “Oh honey, I’m okay. Don’t cry.”

You ran your hand over his little head of blonde hair as he cried into your gown, soaking it a little with his tears and drool. “Simon?” His big watery eyes looked up at you. “I’m okay.”

Looking up to Laswell, you can’t help but ask. “Where are the other boys? And where’s Price?”

“I don’t know…I went to go check on him when I heard he was back from deployment and all I found in his room was a little pink bra and Simon.”

You felt a little bit of panic but then you saw Simon’s blocks on the floor. “Give me those blocks!”

Laswell was confused but did as you asked. You set Simon down in front of you as you laid his blocks out inbetween you two. “Simon honey? Think you can help me understand what happened?”

“What’re you-?”

“Shh.” You quietly quiet Laswell as Simon looks down at his blocks teary eyed. His scans around and moves the blocks until he grunts and hands you a block.

“T?” You stare at it as he grunts. “Tia?”

He grunts again and hands you a ‘J’. “And John…”

He grunts again. You feel tears well up, but take a deep breath. “What about them honey?” You hand him his blocks back as he looks through his blocks again. He hands you a ‘P’ and a block with your initial on it. “This one is me, who’s ‘P’?”

He doesn’t respond, so you know you got it wrong. “I’m sorry, I need more than this. Am I right that this is me though?” He grunts. “Who’s P?”

He lets out a fustrated growl as he digs through the different letters. You laugh a little at how cute it was and when you do, he tilts his head a little and side eyes you. “Okay, I’m sorry Simon. That was just really cute.” You say while giggling. He huffs as he hands you another block, but it’s blank. You hand it back to him and he just sits and blinks at you. “Me, blank, P. What’re you trying to tell me?” You ask yourself more than Simon, trying to wrack your brain.

Simon hands you an ‘S’. “Soap?” He grunts. “What about Soap?”

You watch deligently as he reaches out to put his little hand on your leg. “Me? Me and Soap?” He grunts. “What about us? Simon I’m confused. All I’ve got is Tia and John.”

He lets out the cutest little fustrated sigh and you have to bite your lip to not burst out laughing. He lays the blocks down in order: T, J, P, Y/I, blank, S. You sit and stare and finally shake your head.

“Laswell, do you have any idea?”

“Well, you’ve got Tia and John. I don’t know who P is but that’s you, then blank and Soap. Maybe they lost him?” Simon grunts.

“What?! They lost Soap? Did they find him?” Simon grunts again. “Thank god.”

“Why didn’t he call me about it?” He hands you a little ‘T’. “Tia?” He nods.

“Why is she still here if he’s back from deployment Simon? Is there something I need to know?”

‘L’…..

“Love?” He grunts. Your heart falls through your stomach at this. It could be interpreted a million different ways, you know that. You can’t help the crushing feeling in your chest, or the nausea twisting your stomach around.

You look at him and his little expressions as he takes the block back from you. You decided to ask the one question you’re afraid for him to answer.

“Why were you left alone?” He hands you a little ‘F’ block. “Forgotten?” He grunts.

You pick him up and hold him as you settle back to lay down. “I’m so sorry Simon.” You bear little sniffles as you held him and rubbed little circles into his back. “One day you’ll be regular sized Simon again. I promise honey.”

And you fell asleep like that, with Laswell in the recliner and Simon laying on your chest.

It was peaceful, and it made you think about this whole situation. What has changed since they turned into children, and what changed when Simon began to communicate?

Was there a common thread between it all that could be the key to bringing your boys back?

There had to be, and you’d figure it out, at any cost.

[these-conquered-woodlands]

order of the phoenix members & co as incorrect quotes

dumbledore: I’m telling you, my organization's members are all very intelligent and skilled. tonks, rushing in: dumbledore! remus and sirius tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!

-

sirius: Ask me anything. Go ahead, I'll give you a straight answer. tonks: Why are we so fucking awesome? sirius: That's the best goddamn question anybody's ever asked.

-

molly: I am going to need you to swear- sirius: Fuck. molly: molly: ...swear as in promise.

-

molly : Are you drinking enough water? severus: Sometimes my tears get in my mouth.

-

tonks: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me? remus: Depends. Is your bed comfortable? tonks: Yes. remus: I'd sleep. I wanna sleep.

-

dumbledore: I'm going to ask you to be respectful to each other. severus and sirius at the same time: I will respectfully decline.

-

tonks: What happened?! sirius: Do you want the long version or the short version? tonks: Short?? sirius: Shit's fucked. tonks: ...Okay, long. sirius: Shit's very fucked.

-

mad eye: So I have made the decision to trust you. tonks: A horrible decision, really.

-

harry: We have a problem. severus, probably: No, you have a problem. We have an idiot who keeps making them.

-

sirius: Hey I just got a pet snake. What should I name him? remus: A pet WHAT?! tonks: William Snakespeare.

-

dumbledore: severus is forbidden from monologuing. at meetings, at least.

-

sirius: Remus, old friend, would you take a killing curse for me? remus: ...yes? *snape angrily bursts into the room* sirius: *running away* Great, thanks!

-

dumbledore: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok? harry: Okay. *later* ministry bro: Potter! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble. dumbledore, whispering: Deny everything. harry, loudly: That isn't a chair.

-

mundungus: stop forgiving my crimes, i worked so hard on those.

-

mad-eye: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without? kingsley: dumbledore, probably. he bought six new purple robes just this week with the budget we were going to use to bribe mundungus. dumbledore: hey! i'm the only one paying for our expenses!

-

severus: Why aren’t you sleeping? sirius: I’m too busy plotting your murder to sleep, severus. severus: sirius: …The nightmares. severus: severus: Don't look at me like that, I'm not giving you a hug.

-

molly: my future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized. arthur: *steps on a rubber duck and proceeds to drop to his knees and sob while apologizing profusely.* molly: that one. i want that one.

-

arthur: Define “dream” for kids. severus: Dream - the first thing people abandon when they learn how the world works. molly : That’s too dark!

-

dumbledore: I can explain. some obscure person like emmeline vance, maybe: Can you? dumbledore: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

-

dumbledore: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go. mad-eye: Those are wanted posters!

-

remus: I’m sad. tonks: Don’t be sad, because sad backwards is das. tonks: And das not good.

-

fleur: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt. bill: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

-

severus: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it. mad-eye: Everything will be fine. You have no choice. mundungus: What kind of pep talk is that? severus: Ominous positivity.

-

mad-eye: Someone will die. tonks, sarcastically: Oh, fun!

-

Harry, Ron and Hermione: *Kick the door down looking panicked.* kingsley: What did you do? harry: Nobody died. ron: *nods* molly: WHAT KIND OF AN ANSWER IS THAT?!

[gennyanydots]

I had to let go of you just to get a hold of myself part 5

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x f!reader

I had to let go of you just to get a hold of myself masterlist

Jake finds himself the next day in the waiting room at Dr. Jackson’s office. He can’t stop his leg from bouncing. He’s never felt this anxious before going into a session. He’s also never had to do a recap of the previous day’s couples session before.

Jake looks up when his name is called and follows Tim into his office and sits down in the chair across from Tim’s.

“How do you think yesterday went?” Tim asks him once he’s seated.

How the hell should Jake know? He’s not a psychiatrist. He has no idea about any of this stuff. Isn’t that why he’s here?

Jake shrugs, “I guess it went okay. She didn’t cry or yell at me. I kinda expected both.”

“Why did you expect that?” Tim asks.

“Well for all intents and purposes I left her. I left my wife. I know I did. I didn’t mean to leave her but it was the easiest choice and so that’s the one I took.”

Tim jots something down in his notes and looks back up at Jake, “Okay so you left her. Why did you expect her to scream and cry though?”

“Isn’t that what women do when their man leaves them?” Jake asks.

“You wanna play stereotypes now?” Tim asks jokingly. “If you want to play that game then who did you leave your wife for? Because that’s what everyone probably thinks happened.”

Jake grumbles, “I get your point.”

“Your wife showed incredible restraint yesterday and you should be proud of her. I am. I could tell when the video first started she looked like she was going to cry.”

“She’s not a crier. Never has been. Usually if she cries then something is really, really wrong,” Jake explains.

“Says the man who expected his wife to cry,” Tim snickers.

“Ya know what?” Jake says with a laugh.

“Okay, okay. Back on topic. How are you feeling after the session?” Tim asks.

“Okay I guess. Seeing her hurt. Really bad. Pretending she didn’t exist was the way I think I coped with it all and seeing her made it real. Like I know I left her but if I just pretended she wasn’t real then I didn’t hurt anybody but I did. I know I did. Seeing her made it real and I am so fucking sorry I ever did that.”

“Good.”

“What?” Jake asks confused.

“You should feel sorry. I’m not going to sugar coat this for you. You messed up, Jake. You messed up big time and you can’t take it back. That’s not how it works. You can only move on and do better. Remember how sorry you feel right now and use it to do better. Really hone in on that feeling and keep it in the back of your mind all the time. You’re making a conscious effort to do better and the only way you can do that is by acknowledging that you did a shitty job before,” Tim explains.

Jake nods, “Okay so now what happens?”

“Now you continue to put in the work.”

“Then that’s it? I’m cured or whatever?” Jake asks.

“Not sure what you think you needed cured from,” Tim says shaking his head. “There was never anything wrong with you. You weren’t handling your emotions appropriately. Now you work on what you can do to change that. You learn appropriate coping mechanisms. You learn communication techniques. That’s what this is all for. So you can be a functioning adult, Jake.”

“I thought I was?” Jake says confused.

“Functioning adults don’t run away from their wives for years at a time and then don’t pretend to be themselves,” Tim says raising an eyebrow at Jake.

“You didn’t have to point it out like that,” Jake grumbles.

“I did. Gotta get it through your thick skull somehow.”

“It’s a normal skull thank you very much!” Jake says laughing.

“I’m not so sure. I’d have to ask your mama. Speaking of which. Have you thought anymore on reaching out to your family besides your wife?”

“I kinda wanted to make sure we had a better relationship first. I don’t want to take away her support system,” Jake explains.

“That’s very noble of you. I’m sure its hard having the same support system,” Tim says.

“But we don’t. Just because they’re my family doesn’t mean they’re my support system. They’re my wife’s. My support system is here. They’re my team. I don’t need to take her’s. I have my own.”

“That is true but don’t think just because they’re your wife’s support system they aren’t still your family.”

“I know they are. Right now I would just rather focus on my wife more though. She’s who I want back the most. My family will come. It’ll be much easier to talk to them when they don’t hate me for breaking Y/N’s heart.”

“Do you actually think they hate you?” Tim asks.

Jake shakes his head, “No, if anything it’s worse. My parents are probably disappointed in me. They raised me better. I’d probably let my dad kick my ass at this point. My brother-in-law probably wants to. He slipped into the big brother role easily for my wife when her parents kicked her out.”

“Is that Catherine’s husband or Lauren’s?”

“Catherine’s. I don’t know if Lauren is married. When I left she and her steady boyfriend were having a baby girl but I don’t know much past that,” Jake says with a shrug.

Tim hums and jots some things down in his notebook, “Have you thought about what story you’re going to tell for your homework?”

“No. I was trying to think of one before I fell asleep last night but nothing really came to mind. I’m sure I’ll think of something though.”

“Be sure that you do. Wouldn’t want your wife to get a better grade than you,” Tim says with a chuckle.

“Wouldn’t be the first time. She’s always been smarter than me. Smarter than I’ll ever be,” Jake says honestly.

“Has that ever been a problem for you?” Tim asks.

“Oh God no! I love that she’s smarter than me. I love everything about her. I don’t think I realized how much I loved her still until yesterday. I missed her ,of course, but I didn’t realize how much until I saw her. It’s like I woke up for the first time in years and then the realization hit that she’s not here with me and it hurt like hell and I can’t keep living like this,” Jake said as he got up and paced around the room.

“Well we’re working towards you not living like that but it’ll take time,” Tim says with a sigh.

Jake sighs too and sits back down, “I know. I know.”

“Good. Well Jake, our time is up for today but I’ll see you next week. Make sure you think about your homework,” Tim says standing up and walking to the office door.

Jake nods and follows Tim to the door, “I will. See you.” Jake sighs and leaves. He heads out of the office building to his truck. A lot of things running around in his head.

He checks his phone and sees Bob had texted him asking him if he wanted to come over and hang out. He shoots Bob a text back and heads to his house.

When Jake gets there and rings the doorbell he’s met with a squeal of his name and a tiny figure throwing the door open before jumping into his arms excitedly.

“Hello there, munchkin!” Jake says laughing and setting Fiona on his hip.

“Hi Untle Jay! I miss you!” She says wrapping her arms around him.

“I missed you too, princess. Did you have a fun day at preschool today?” Jake asks her walking into the house and waving at Bob who is sitting on the couch wearing a princess crown and holding a tiny cup and saucer.

Fiona hides her face in Jake’s side and mumbles something.

“Baby girl, I didn’t understand a thing you just said,” Jake says sitting down on the couch near Bob and setting Fiona on his lap.

“Thomas kick me at center time so I pushed him and got in trouble,” Fiona mumbled.

Jake looks over at Bob who is trying not to laugh then looks back at Fiona, “Well Fi we can’t be putting our hands on our friends at school. That’s not nice.”

“But he’s not my fwiend!” She says with a pout.

“But that doesn’t mean we can push him! If he kicked you what are you supposed to do?” Bob asks.

“I’m sposed to tell a teacher,” Fiona grumbles.

“Right! And then if he keeps kicking you tell Uncle Jake and he’ll beat up his dad,” Jake loudly whispers to Fiona who giggles.

“Otay!” She says and hops off Jake’s lap and comes back soon after with a cup and saucer for him and hands it to him.

He takes it and thanks her with a grin.

“So Jake how was your session yesterday? I didn’t see you much today to ask,” Bob says to Jake.

“It was fine. Hard. Just seeing her made it hard. Made it real. I couldn’t pretend I hadn’t hurt her anymore. It was plain to see on her face. I didn’t realize how much I hurt myself either. It was kinda like when you’re little and you hold it all together until you see your mom and then you lose it. I wanted to just break down and plead for her to forgive me,” Jake says with a sigh and takes a pretend sip of his pretend tea to appease his pseudo niece.

“That does sound hard. You still glad you’re doing this?” Bob asks taking a pretend sip of his own.

Jake nods while watching Fiona look through her bins of toys.

Fiona finds something and walks over to Jake. It’s a tube of some sort. She opens it and squeezes some of whatever it is onto her hand and starts rubbing it on his face.

“Untle Jay you so pretty now,” Fiona says with a smile.

He chuckles and thanks her. Bob winks at him, “Yeah princess, you made Uncle Jake so pretty very sparkly.”

Jake groaned, “It’s never coming off is it?”

Bob laughs, “Nope.”

Part 6

[returnsandreturns]

“Buddy, I’ve gotten through most of the emotional pain from the breakup,” Foggy says, before he’s even got their door fully open, tossing himself onto his bed, “but can I be vulnerable with you right now?”

“Of course,” Matt says, amused, turning in his chair.

“I am—outrageously horny,” Foggy says, lowering his voice like somebody might hear them. He’s been holding this in but he’s got to talk about this with someone and Matt is legally obligated to be that person. They signed a contract and everything. “Like levels of horny I have never experienced. There’s something about being cut off from regular sex that makes you go fucking crazy.”

“I’m a light sleeper,” Matt says, dryly, blushing faintly in a way that Foggy normally loves. “I am extremely aware of how horny you are.”

He knew in his deepest heart of hearts that he probably wasn’t being stealthy but desperate times call for a truly record-breaking amount of masturbation.

“Oh my god,” Foggy says, laughing, grabbing a pillow and holding it over his face for a long moment, voice muffled when he says, “I’m so sorry that you’ve heard me jerking off. If it helps, it’s therapeutic.”

“It’s okay, man,” Matt says, getting up to take the pillow from him and sit on the edge of his bed, hand hovering nearby before patting Foggy gently on the arm. “I get it. Why don’t you just hook up with someone, though?”

“It feels like it’s too soon,” Foggy says, sighing, “but it really needs to happen because I’ve been imagining having sex with, like, everyone I interact with. It’s getting problematic.”

“What do you mean by everyone?” Matt asks, waiting through a few long quiet moments before he asks, incredulous, “With me?”

“I said everyone, didn’t I!” Foggy says, because if Matt’s been listening to him get off for a week, he might as well break down all the walls. “Don’t worry, though—I will eventually stop wondering what your sweat tastes like when you come back from the gym, just like I’ll stop thinking about all of my professors in various horrible porn scenarios.”

“. . .my sweat?” Matt asks, making a face.

“Don’t judge me, Murdock,” Foggy says, laughing. “My hormones are—eating my brain. I’m not going to hit on you, you’re just caught in the crossfire.”

He’s never bothered to come out to anybody—things just happen and sometimes they happen with surprising people and then you can add things like blowjobs to your list of personal skills—so choosing to come out to perfect, beautiful, extremely Catholic Matt by telling him that he’s been lusting over him is a real choice on his part. He always looks so shiny after he works out, though.

“So it’s just proximity?” Matt asks, sounding like he’s actually offended by it.

“Thinking you look lickable?” Foggy asks. “I think you've probably noticed but you have that impact on anybody with an ounce of sexual impulse, Matt. I try not to think about you like that because you’re important to me and also very pious and almost definitely exclusively into girls—”

Matt leans down to kiss him before Foggy can explain all the reasons he tries not to want to have sex with him and those reasons suddenly no longer exist. Nothing exists, actually, nothing but Matt’s mouth and their bodies when Matt moves to get closer, hovering over him when he eventually pulls back with a gasp.

“I’m kind of horny, too,” Matt says, softly.

“Let’s explore that,” Foggy says, guiding him back down.

[yelenasdiary]

What's Your Password?

Pairing: Yelena Belova x Reader, Natasha Romanoff x Reader (Platonic)

Summary: Yelena asks you help her with an email but you’re too distracted by her choice in passwords.

Word count: 0.8K

Warnings: Language

Type: Yelena being Yelena. 

Author Comments: I really miss Yelena so here’s a little idea that came to mind. I’m using a prompt from my prompt list which can be read here. Enjoy! 

“Y/n are you busy?” Yelena’s thick Russian accent distracted you from the trashy magazine you were reading. “Is it more important than the drama between Kim and Kayne?” you asked, slightly looking up from the article you were reading. “The what?” Yelena questioned.  You gave a look as if to say “how don’t know you?” but then you realised, she wouldn’t know. “Nothing, it was a joke, what’s up?” you smiled, placing the magazine on the table. “I made an online order and I need to email the store about making a return but I’m not sure how I do that” she explained, slightly embarrassed that she needed to even ask for help. “Sure, let me just get my laptop” you wondered into your room and returned with your laptop.

 “Okay, what’s your password?” you asked her as you opened the email site. 

“Capital A” Yelena sat down next to you as you started typing. “American P the letter 1 for the i then e” she explained, “oh, no spaces” she added. “Is that seriously your password?” you chuckled. “What? I like the song, it’s a very good song” she reasoned. “Yelena, a password is supposed to be unguessable” you turned to her. “That’s exactly why I added a 1 and no the i” she spoke proudly. “Okay, but that’s still easy to guess” you pressed enter on your keyboard and then waited for the page to open. “What would you have me make it?” Yelena asked, confused as to how anybody could be able to guess her current password. 

“Ooo, my order arrived!” you both heard a similar voice enter the room. Both of you turn around to face Yelena’s older sister. “What? You changed my order?!” Yelena’s tone sounded annoyed. “What? No, I would never do that” Natasha smirked. “See Yel, this is exactly what I was explaining” you chuckled at Yelena’s expression. “How did you change my order, Natasha?” Yelena asked. Natasha looked at the two of you as she placed the combat boots back in their box. “American Pie, no spaces and 1 replacing the i pie,” Natasha said confidently as she closed the box. “What?! How?! That is not fair!” Yelena stood from her chair, walking over to the box of boots, taking them in her hand before Natasha could. “Yelena, you have 3 passwords, all are so easy to guess. Mac&chesse with one capital S, AmericanPie and hot sauce but a zero instead of an o” Natasha tried to hide the smirk that claimed her face for a moment. Yelena looked back between you and Natasha, “That is not fair! I thought that were good passwords, I remember them easily” she spoke. 

“Yel, it’s fine. Nobody cares that much” you tried to calm her. “Will you change it for me?” she asked you. “No... I think it’s cute” you replied, Natasha couldn’t contain her amusement as she looked at Yelena. “You can’t change it, Yelena, it’s a lifetime password,” Natasha said. “Oh, Shit! Is it really that easy?!” Yelena started to stress over Natasha’s lifetime password joke. You and Natasha just shrugged at her, “Блядь! (fuck)” she spoke in Russian as she closed the lid to your laptop and took it under her arm, “Maybe Tony can help me!” she added before storming out with your laptop and Natasha’s new boots. You and Natasha laughed to yourselves once she left the room. 

“Should we tell her?” you asked Natasha, still giggling to yourself. “Something about Tony explaining all this to her is funny to me, so no. Let’s let Tony explain it to her” Natasha spoke between laughing. “He’s going to hate us” you replied. “He already does!” 

*2 hours later*

You and Natasha we’re making your way to the gym to train together, “How do you think Tony is going?” you asked Natasha with a chuckle. “Y/n, Natasha, come here please!” you heard Tony’s voice behind you both. Turning slowly to meet his glare. “Yes Mr Stark?” you said sarcastically. Tony made his way closer to you and Natasha. “The time you both want to torment Yelena, make sure your own passwords are…what did you call it? Unguessable?” he spoke sternly, annoyed that he’d spent his time explaining to Yelena how passwords are not always a set lifetime password. The smirks dropped from your and Natasha’s faces, “Oh come on Tony it was a little bit of fun!” you pleaded. “I just spent an hour and a half with Yelena after the two of you made fun of her passwords, even though her passwords weren’t safe at all, you didn’t have to send her to me!” he explained. “Well, actually, Yelena went to you on her own” Nat added. “Your sister, you deal with her next time” Tony spoke before walking away. 

“Do you think he knows that he only has the password to our work emails?” you smirked to Natasha who chuckled, “I don’t think he knows we even have another email” she replied. 

“Oh, I know!” Tony shouted back. You and Natasha looked back at each other, “shit” you mumbled before the two of you broke into another laughing fit.

[angstintensifer]

Camp fam incorrect quotes again, but with some ships

Kenji : But what about Ben? He was my SOULMATE!

Darius : You said that about a ball of yarn once!

***

Kenji : You can track Darius ?

Ben: Of course I can. If the NSA can do it, so can I.

***

Darius : And here we see Kenji and Ben in their natural habitat. Texting eachother variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh.

Kenji : Gaelic bread.

Ben: Grueling brad.

Kenji : Ha ha, glamorous beans.

***

Yaz : I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.

Ben: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.

*Kenji walks in*

Ben: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

***

Kenji : Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Ben: I wrote you a poem.

Kenji , already crying: You did?

***

Kenji : Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Ben: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Kenji : ...

Kenji : You mean ring bearER, right?

Ben: ...

Kenji : Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

***

Kenji : Hey, Ben, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?

Ben: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.

Kenji : No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?

Ben: Can't really say I have.

Kenji : You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.

Ben: Sorry, Kenji . For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

***

Kenji : I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...

Ben: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.

***

Kenji : I think I'm falling for you.

Ben: Then get up.

***

Ben: What’s up? I’m back.

Darius : I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead

Ben: Death is a social construct.

***

Darius: *sneaks into camp fam house after being late w Dinos*

Ben: *turns in a swivel chair* care to explain where you here?

Darius: I was with… Uh … Kenji!

Kenji: *also turns in swivel chair* Care to- *keeps spinning* Ben- I can’t stop the chair-

***

Yaz : Why is Brooklynn crying?

Sammy: They saw a leaf on the sidewalk and-

Brooklynn : IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY!

Yaz : Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say-

Brooklynn : AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH!

Yaz : NO, NOT THAT!

***

Brooklynn : Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons!

Yaz : Bet you I can!

Sammy: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*

***

Brooklynn: Can you cut me some slack, Darius? I’m sort of in love.

Darius: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem.

Brooklynn: I’m in love with you.

Darius: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

***

Darius: You have to apologize to them Brooklynn.

Brooklynn: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

***

Darius: So what’s for dinner?

Brooklynn , staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

***

Darius: Bro-

Brooklynn: No, no, hold up, rewind.

Brooklynn: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

***

Yaz: I didn't drink that much last night.

Brooklynn : You were flirting with Sammy.

Yaz: So what? She’s my girlfriend

Brooklynn : You asked if she were single.

Brooklynn : And then you cried when she said she wasn’t.

***

Brooklynn : Ooh, somebody has a crush

Yaz: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Sammy I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about them.

*Later that night*

Yaz, very much awake: Uh oh.

[equallyshaw]

this is allll over the place and short, but hope you enjoy :)

kent johnson- he broke my heart.

warnings: angst, mentions of history of fighting/childhood trauma.

word count: 1.0K +

it had been a very long week for carolina. it had be a very long week for kent as well. he didn't want to admit it, but he was caving. the two had gotten in a petty fight over spending time with one another and kent had said somethings, and carolina had completley shut down. she immediatly left his and owen's place and went back to her parents house. and with carolina not going to michigan university, it meant that they would be spending time apart from one another. which is exactly what they needed, but carolina was thinking that the time away from eachother would be pernamnament. just because she would not fight back. it isn't who she is, and would never be. kent knew she hated fighting or somebody raising there voice. he knew she would shut off and become defeated and not say anything to anybody. yet, he tried to fight anyways and said what he said. he didn't mean it, but she didn't know that.

carolina pulled her chair out in the coffee shop that she and kent frequented and she set off to work on her final paper for a class. yet she could not concentrate, this week she hadn't been able to concentrate on anything just because. on her drive over, all she wanted to do was drive over to her (hopefully) boyfriend's place and talk things over but she felt as if she couldn't. kent did the one thing she asked him not to do. she was in the middle of writing a paragraph when her phone buzzed. it was a text from owen and she opened it, curiously.

[owen: please stop by the house. kent is not here. wont be back till 6]

[carolina: idk owen. am i still allowed over there?]

[owen: yes you are, you are still apart of the group. besides, you are carolina. we could never kick you out.]

[carolina: im on my way. give me 10 mins.]

carolina rushed out of the coffee shop with her iced americano, and sighed as she turned on her car. what did he want to say to her? did he want to make her feel like shit? did he have newws to tell her about kent? thoughts ran a mile a minute on the drive over, her anxiety getting very bad. she parked in front of the house and got out. owen opened the door as she walked up the steps to the porch, he gave her a lopsided smile and held his arms open. he knew she needed a hug, and she happily obliged. "thanks owen, i needed that." she mused walking in further to the house and they made there way to the living room. she sat down in her usual spot, and tried to make herself as small as possible. owen could tell what she was doing, and understood. she was very uncomfortable, she was nervous about being here again.

owen sighed before speaking, "im sorry for what went down. kent had no right to do what he did. we all know that and are on your side. so even if you don't think you feel supported. you are. i promise. you have every right to feel the way that you do. " he explained and the girl nodded, taking all of it in. "well thankyou, i appreciate the support. i just- i just don't know what the future holds for us. he did the one thing i asked him not to do." she started, not realizing kent walking in from the kitchen. owen's eyes went wide for a second, not realizing kent came home early. "he betrayed my trust, owen. he knows why i hate people fighting and yelling. he knows that. it broke my heart." she finished explaining, feeling tears brim her eyes. kent knew that her history of family fighting and yelling, made her even more determined to not do that with a partner. understandbly, she wouldn't always prevent fights but she knew there were other ways to discuss the issue at hand. "he know's that my childhood was fucked up, he knows that. yet he still decided to do it. i just don't know if i can forgive him just yet. let alone speak to him." she said standing up, before realizing that owen was looking past her. she turned around, instantly feeling her anxiety begin to grow. she took in kent's discheveled appareance. bags under his eyes, his hair a mess and eyes chronically puffy. "im gonna leave you two." owen said walking up the stairs and out of sight. carolina breathed in a huge breath, and kent could see the tears forming in her eyes.

she shook her head, turning to walk out and go back home. "wait." kent said jogging over and standing in front of the door. she wouldn't meet his eye, "hey, hey." he said seeing her fragile state about to crack. he pulled her in as she began to cry, rubbing her back. she began to shake, breaking kent's heart. "kent-" she said and he cut her off. "i know i know." he hummed, pulling her in tighter. thinking that if he let go, she would walk out of his life together. "i know i fucked up i know that, and im sorry. and no, you don't have to accept my apology." he paused pulling back to embrace her. he rested his hands on her face, "i promise to never do that again. i wasn't thinking then and no that's not an excuse. please forgive me, carolina. yet, i understand if you don't." he finished trying to read her face. she finally met his eyesight, and softly nodded. her crying had ceased, and her heartbeat slowly dropping. "okay kent, just please don't do that again. if you do, i have to leave. it's too much." she exclaimed biting her lip. he smiled and nodded, moving in to kiss her. she melted into the kiss, and wrapped her arms around his neck. they pulled apart, setting there foreheads against one anothers. "i love you miss carolina phoenix." he mused causing her to grin, "i love you too kent johnson." she added bringing him back into a kiss.

"oh yay! mom and dad have made up. i was worried that i would have to split time between you guys." owen said sarcastically walking down the stairs. the couple pulled apart, carolina flipping him off as she turned around. "oh no, he would of gotten full custody." she joked playfully shoving him as her and kent walked into the kitchen.

—

Crappy but hope you liked :))

[wellthebardsdead]

The mourned & The heretics pt8

Part 7 here

———

Riiju-Lei: *walking with the group through the city, enjoying the sights, stopping by the markets, walking through the plaza of the gods, and headed towards the flaming Nix* it’s surprisingly clear ou- *covers his ears as loud bellowing war horns suddenly echo across the city, ordinators rushing past and securing the gates, forcing anybody leaving back in, and anyone just arriving out* What’s going on-

Nerevar: *hurries down the steps* LeiLei! Azuras mercy! Good you’re all here, we need to get back inside the temple at once and take count of everyone!

Riiju-Lei: I- why? What’s happening?

Nerevar: the city is on lockdown somebody managed to breach our security and enter the clockwork city.

Lucien: I? Isn’t the clockwork city just a myth-

Nerevar: it’s very real and it’s accessed by the waterfall just northeast of the temple.

Kaidan: I- so why the fuck are we setting foot back in the temple if it’s so close?! Whoever you’re afraid of could easily kill us all in there.

Nerevar: No. no they can’t.

Riiju-Lei: and… how can we be sure of that?…

Nerevar: Because the good daedra won’t allow Vivec and Almalexia to sully their temple once again…

*a few hours later and everyone being accounted for*

Riiju-Lei: *pacing back and forth in Nerevars now heavily guarded room, waiting impatiently for him to return* … *looks to the ordinators guarding the door* can I not just-

Ordinator: forgive us lord dagoth. We have been instructed to hold our position.

Ordinator 2: Lord nerevar has suspicions this threat is targeted towards you specifically.

Riiju-Lei: Then surely I should be allowed some say in the matter of my own defenc- *goes quiet as nerevar steps in*

Nerevar: At ease men, you are dismissed.

The ordinators: *nod and step from the room*

Nerevar: Oh LeiLei. *hugs him close and strokes his hair* Are you okay? Nothing strange happened? No weird people followed you anything like that?

Riiju-Lei: n-no the worst that happened was inigo inhaling ash when he yawned. Nerevar please tell me what is going on?! I’m not going to be locked away in this this room like a sitting duck if my life or the lives of others is in danger.

Nerevar: LeiLei please you must-

Riiju-Lei: Nerevar.

Nerevar: *falls silent having never heard him use that tone before*

Riiju-Lei: I am not the Voryn Dagoth you remember. I am not some delicate bodied councillor hiding away pining for you to return. I am a healer and a peaceful man but I am the dragonborn first. Those who choose to ignore reason meet my blade. I am not some damsel in distress and if our lives are at risk, I want to help. You say house dagoth must prove itself to the people again so let me prove it now…

Nerevar: *sighs and nods* yes… yes okay… I know I just. *squeezes his hands gently* I’m afraid I’ll lose you again.

Riiju-Lei: *squeezes back* I know, I’m afraid of losing you too… so please. Tell me what’s going on? Why are Almalexia and Vivec suddenly a threat again?… what’s happened in the clockwork city?

Nerevar: *sits him down on a chair* it’s. It’s going to take some explaining.

Riiju-Lei: *suddenly pats his lap, gently beckoning him to rest his head there.

Nerevar: *sits at his feet and rests his head in his lap letting out a deep sigh as he steadies his mind*

Riiju-Lei: better?…

Nerevar: yes… you always make me feel better. *smiles up at him before focusing back on the task at hand* When I came to the clockwork city. I found sotha sil… he’d built this remarkable place for our people, a place we could visit freely where he’d left knowledge for us to harness… but by the time I’d found him it was too late. Almalexia was there, she’d… killed him, then… turned on me. I struck her down and I thought that was the end of it. When id returned vivec had vanished into thin air, and then Baar Dau fell…

Riiju-Lei: that was, the giant boulder yeah? What did that have to do with vivec?

Nerevar: when the boulder fell I assumed he was dead as well, or at the very least without the heart feeding him power anymore he’d no longer be a threat. But… it seems now he’s back for revenge. *sighs standing up and pacing slowly* I should have known things were unusual with the amount of tribunal cult activity that’s been popping up across Deshaan, I should have taken more notice when word of their masks was circulating when I was in solstheim when-…

Riiju-Lei: what is it?…

Nerevar: …Vivec was in solstheim when we were…

Riiju-Lei: *stands slowly and walks to him* how can you be certain?…

Nerevar: Because we found one of the masks in the core chamber, on what was left of sotha sils mortal body… *rubs his head* How they got it I don’t know but if they have this one then they definitely have Almalexias and-

Riiju-Lei: nerevar?…

Nerevar: I need to contact Neloth immediately… *suddenly hurries from the room*

Riiju-Lei: *goes to follow him only for the ordinators to block his path again* Ugh that’s it! FUS-

*a few minutes later*

Nerevar: *hurries into his office frantically searching for then activating the communication sphere he needs on an enchantment like table* Neloth?? NELOTH ANSWER ME!!

Neloth: Boethias balls yes nerevarine I hear you. What is it?!

Nerevar: It’s nerevar no- Nevermind. The mask! Where did you put the mask of Dagoth Ur?!

Neloth: *unbothered as he works on repairing the withered parts of his tower* I assure you it’s safe, I’ve kept it in a secure location.

Nerevar: Please Neloth I need you to check it’s still there!

Neloth: Nerevarine I assure you it’s-

Nerevar: Someone resurrected almalexia.

Neloth: …give me a moment. *floats down from the mushroom platform and walks to the graveyard by his tower… only to find the coffin he’d hidden it in very much open and the mask missing* … *holds the sphere back up* Are you still there?

Nerevar: yes? What is it??

Neloth: I believe now is the appropriate time to panic.

[bruinhilda]

Ordering large items when you don't live in the 48 contiguous states SUCKS. 90% of the companies you find online absolutely WILL NOT ship to Alaska or Hawaii, never mind any of the territories like Puerto Rico.

Once you find a company that possibly will? You can't order on the website normally, oh no. Forget it. It's impossible for them to calculate the shipping. You have to wait for their business hours, and then call them, explain what you want and why the hell you have to ship it outside of the Holy 48, and then they'll either give you a ridiculous price, or they'll take your information and promise to call back when they find out.

We're currently in the "wait for them to call back," step of the bullshit. Because the company has to call the company that MAKES the chair, because they're the ones who will actually ship it. This same company that I looked up first, and who will NOT sell to you unless you are a business.

So we are trying to do business with a company in Texas, to get an item made by a company in New York, to be shipped out to Hawaii, because if anybody out here sells it, they're not advertising that fact, so I'm sitting here vibrating with frustration and anxiety wondering when the hell we should just call back and try to get an answer.

This is annoying enough when it's just something you can decide you can do without. But this is a medical chair, my father really needs it, so we have to allow ourselves to be jerked around in this enraging process. Because fuck you for needing disability furniture while not living in a "normal" state.

[harlowtales]

Jack’s parents were looking for a new employee for the sign shop. Things were busy and they didn’t know how to keep up with all the orders. They hire you to work in the shop. Your first Day Jack and Clay walk in.

You sat in the lobby waiting to be interviewed, nervously tapping one foot and twirling your pen as you noticed a picture of Jack and Clay on the sign shop wall.

“Y/N? Can you come in please?” It was Jack’s Dad calling you into a small office at the back of the store. “Please have a seat” He said smoothly sounding like Jack and Clay “So your new to our city?”

“Uh y…yes sir UofL” you stuttered a bit starting to sweat a little.

“I see here you have admin experience and good organizational skills.” Jack’s Dad Brian said as he analyzed your credentials

After asking a few more questions Brian said “So the most important question of them all y/n is when can you start?”

“I am available right away sir.” You said seriously

Brian sat back in his chair and said “I gotta run this by the Missus but you got my vote. We’ll let you know.” He stood up to shake your hand and escort you out.

You sat waiting for your friend at a campus bar so excited to tell her the news that you had a shot at the job. They walked in and greeted you with a look of expectancy

“Soooooo….?” Your friend Ruby asked

“I have a shot. Jack’s dad just has to run it by his mom and then I’ll know!” You said excitedly

“Well this calls for a celebration!” Your friend exclaimed “Too y/n may the odds be ever in your favour” she laughed as you clinked bottle necks from your beers

“You deserve this, and let’s see if Jack comes in one day.” She said shooting you a look and winking

“I don’t see why he would.” You said trying not to think about it. You would be nervous to meet him, but didn’t even think he was all that.

You had a great night talking with your friend over nachos and beer. Maybe a bit too much fun. The phone ringing jolted you out of your sleep, but it was already 10AM.

“H..Hello?” You said groggy and tired

“Hi y/n this is Maggie Harlow.” Jack’s mom said cheerily

You shot up in your bed, you’re heart now racing. “Hello Mrs. Harlow.” You said fixing yourself up as if she could see you.

“My husband tells me you’re the one we should go with.” She continued “So congratulations. You start on Monday.”

You felt numb, then excited, then like puking. “Uh um thanks so much!” You exclaimed

“Ok so you will get a tour of the shop and your office will be right next to mine. Any questions?” She said

“No ma’am.” You said shaking

“Please call me Maggie.” She offered “Oh and y/n?”

“Yes Mrs…um Maggie” you replied

“Jack comes in sometimes to see us. Don’t be nervous he’s just a person.” She assured you.

It was your first day and you were getting a tour of the shop. Jack’s parents hadn’t come in yet, it was only you and the front store manager. “That’s it, not much to see.” They said wrapping up the mini-tour. “I have to step out to the bank to make a deposit for the store. All you have to do is tell anyone who walks in I’ll be back in an hour”

“My 1st day and I’m alone?” You thought with anxiety. Some time passed and no Brian or Maggie yet. Even the lady showing you around hadn’t come back yet.

“Hey, anybody here? Where da fuck is everyone?” You heard a low warm voice say. You had just bent down to grab something from under the front counter and popped your head up quickly. You stopped breathing. It was him.

“Sup. Never seen you before. I’m Jack.” He said extending a hand like everyone in the world didn’t know who he was.

“Hi Jack!” You said a little too loudly and vigorously shook his hand trying way too hard to appear normal

“Whoah! Firm handshake I like it.” He winked “So you’re the new girl. What’s your name?”

“My name is y/n” You said awkwardly shifting

“Where is everyone?” He asked again “Where’s my parents?”

“I’m not sure but the manager will be back soon.” You explained “Would you like to wait in your mom’s office? You offered “I can get you some water.”

Jack thought you were sweet and looked up at you with his big blue eyes as you handed him a cold glass.

“Well I can see why they hired you.” Jack said with a smile. “It’s hot out. I was actually really thirsty.” He said taking his baseball hat off and wiping his brow.

“Yo bro where’s mom and dad at?” Clay said as he popped his head in Maggie’s office.

You froze. Now you were playing hostess to Jack AND his brother. “Um Mr. Um Clay would you like to have a seat and a glass of water?” You offered hoping nobody saw you sweating. “When will they be here?” You thought desperately

“You hear that Jack? I’m Mr. Fucking Clay.” He said basking in the glory of being called Mr.

“I’m not fucking calling you that.” Said Jack with a straight look on his face

“Kiss the ring.” Clay said holding out his hand for Jack

“You see what I have to deal with?” Jack asked you

“Hey I’m sorry but I have to go back to the front. Your parents should be here soon.” You said not wanting to get in trouble

“Why don’t you ask her Jack?” Clay said

“You ask her.” Jack said

“Ask me what?” You said half watching the front for their parents or any customers

“We need a few girls for a Homies video.” Jack said “You want to be in it?”

“No thanks.” You said shocking both of them. “No disrespect but I hate how girls are just shaking ass in those things. That’s not for me. Anyways I should get back out there guys.” And with that you left. You were a bit mad you were asked to be in a video. “That’s all those types of guys see I guess.” You reasoned to yourself.

“Nice one asshole.” Jack said hitting Clay “She thinks I’m a slime ball now.”

“Sorry. I guess she’s not bout it that’s all.” Clay said defensively, but it was too late. You sparked Jack with your attitude and decisiveness. He liked that you didn’t jump at the chance to be seen.

He got up to talk to you. “Hey” he said leaning on the front store counter. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

“Didn’t mean what? To ask me if I wanted to shake a lil sumn sumn?” You shot back cutting him off “Doesn’t surprise me.” You continued doing some paperwork

“What does that mean?” Jack said clearly offended

“Look Jack, I’m at work. It’s inappropriate and disrespectful to ask me something like that when I’m working.” You stated firmly “But you don’t really work for a living so how would you know that?”

“Ok you know what?” He said not quite knowing what else to say “I didn’t mean to be disrespectful. I was paying you a compliment. You’re pretty and we thought we’d ask. Sorry.” He said turning his back to the counter

“Didn’t mean to be disrespectful by saying hey baby wanna come shake your ass in a video?” You said calmly but with edge in your voice “…and don’t lean on the counter, you’re parents don’t like that.” You said sharply not looking up from your work.

Jack shot you a look and stormed off. When his parents finally came they chatted about some details for the promo signs and posters. “That girl you just hired” Jack said “She’s ummm interesting.”

“What do you mean?” Maggie said looking quizzically at Jack “She didn’t say anything inappropriate to you did she?”

“No it was him being inappropriate with her.” Clay blurted out

“No it wasn’t!” Jack shot back “It was him!” He said pointing back at Clay with Maggie in the middle

“Boys! Do you ever stop?” Maggie said “I should take you both by your ears. What did you guys do?” She said looking at both of them suspiciously

“I asked her if she wanted to be in The Homies video and she got all snippy with me, said she’s too smart and why would I ask her to shake her ass especially at work because it’s inappropriate.” Jack rushed out his answer like when he was little and upset. He was feeling the same way now explaining to his mom

“Well she’s right and good for her talking to JACK HARLOW like that.” Maggie said proudly “Hunny, I think you met your match” she said giggling “So what do think of this sign?” She said getting back to business, but Jack was still irritated.

This year the Signorama charity event was hosted at a horse farm in the country. Maggie liked to go back as often as she could. To highlight a local charity Jack would be joining them for awhile as staff helped. Kids from underprivileged neighbourhoods would get to ride horses and have some fun. You were helping set up the activities and get kids suited up to ride. As Jack arrived he saw you joking around with the kids. He thought it was adorable until he remembered he didn’t like you. Kids started screaming and running to him.

He came in with his body guard Duane, Urban, all The Homies, and Clay. He was dressed in a burgundy New Balance sweatsuit, a Moncler coat, and Versace shades. “What a douche bag.” You said to yourself. “Can’t go anywhere without his body guard and an entourage, and who wears a white $10,000 coat to a farm?” You decided to busy yourself blowing balloons up in a corner.

“Hunny why would you wear a white coat to a barn?” Maggie asked as soon as she saw him. Jack heard you chuckling.

“Can I help?” Jack said standing over you all of a sudden

“Sure. I’m sure you’re full of hot air.” You said looking straight at him.

“You got a problem with me?” Jack challenged

“Nope.” You said blowing up a balloon

“I know you don’t like me but you don’t have to be rude.” Jack said looking annoyed

“I just work here. I got nothing against you.” You said blowing up another balloon 🎈

“Why are so bitchy?” Jack said

“Excuse me?” You said loudly. Everyone stopped and stared at both of you “Sorry everyone, no issue here.” You lied.

“Y/n can you come help the kids get up onto the horses?” Maggie called out to you

“Yes Maggie!” You called back “I’ll deal with you later. You said in a threatening tone.

“Ooh, I’m scared.” Jack said mockingly. He watched you walk away and Schloob caught him.

“Oh no brother Jack no no no.” Schloob said warning him “You playing with fire bruh. She done shot everybody down.” He said “And she don’t pull no fucking punches. “

“How you know that?” Jack said looking at Schloob.

“We were all out one night on U of L campus. We had a bit to drink. Saw her and her friend at a bar and we each took turns trying to talk to them and they gave us some lecture and we left them alone, like bitches that study too much and have no fucking fun do. You’re Jack you can have anyone 10xs over. She’s cute but she thinks we’re all a bunch of douche bags.”

“You can do it.” You said trying to get a little kid up onto the horse. I’ll hoist you up and you just hang onto the reigns. I’m right here.” You assured her

“I can’t!!!” The little girl exclaimed in fear and started to loudly cry. Drawing everyone’s attention.

“Don’t say I can’t.” You said firmly “Say I’m scared. Name what you’re feeling because you can’t conquer your fears if you don’t name them.”

Jack and Maggie heard you and looked at each other. Everyone paused and looked at you, but you were in your own little world with this girl. “You are getting on this horse because I am here for you.” You said determined to help her conquer her fear. Nobody else is here. Its you, me, and this horse.” You said. “Watch me do it.” You hitched your leg up in the stirrup and flung your other leg over the horse straddling the saddle. “Come on up!” You said to her extending your hand “and hang onto me” You helped her get up and she giggled with joy and excitement.

“Look Mr.Jack I’m on the horsy!!” She squealed looking down at Jack. He was petting the horse and looking up at you in awe.

“Ok I’m getting down and you got this ok?” You said to the little girl

“I so got this!” She said in a super sassy cute way snapping her fingers “Thank you Miss lady!” The little girl said waving good bye as a party left for a ride down the country trails.

“Wow. Thank you y/n” Maggie said “You are amazing! You should do Motivation Mondays on my YouTube! Isn’t she great Jack?” Maggie said

“Yeah real great.” Jack said admiring you with a kid hanging off him.

“Pretty intimidating and scary for anybody. I don’t even ride horses, but I’ll be damned she was missing out. That’s a memory for her whole life.” You said wistfully as you watched her ride off. You started feeling tears welling up as you knew what it was like for your family to not be able to make ends meet and miss out on all the fun things other kids did. You felt Jack looking at you and busied yourself with other things. He followed you.

“Aren’t you here for the kids?” You said instantly annoyed.

“What’s your issue with me?” Jack stopped you from cleaning up a table with a bunch of cake and kid’s colouring books

“Why do you care?” You said looking directly at him “Don’t you have some bottles to pop somewhere.”

“That’s not my life.” Jack said

“That’s not what I heard.” You said. You heard about Jack’s parties at the 21C, and you didn’t want any part of that. Your parents warned you about that kind of lifestyle and you promised them you would focus on work and school.

“What have you heard?” Jack asked deeply concerned

“I’ve heard about what goes on at the hotels” you said not wanting to really get into it. “And I’ve met your friends. They were drunk and obnoxious hitting on me and my friend” you said glaring over at The Homies.

“Why are you so fucking judgemental?” Jack said

“Pardon me?” You said dropping some dirty paper plates in a huge garbage bin “Some people have to work hard in life.” You said back at him “We’re not up in a penthouse suite with a bunch of ditsy girls that get passed around.”

“That’s not my whole life. I work very hard.” Jack defended himself

She had to admit that was true. “Ok fine. You have worked hard.” She said “Your parents work really hard too.”

Jack was thrilled. It was the first time he saw any kindness from you apart from the glass of water you gave him that day. “Was that so hard?” He said

“Why is he so god damn cute.” You thought still dedicated to hating him and his type. The type that jet set around the world and don’t have to sacrifice to put themselves through school like you did. Your dad was a bus driver and your mom was a maid. You were the first person in your family to go to college. As far as you were concerned you and Jack had nothing in common.

“Miss Maggie, I got it all cleaned up.” You called out to Jack’s mom. “Truce Jack?” You said offering him a sticky hand “Will you leave me alone now?” You said smiling

“I’m not shaking your hand right now.” He said bunching up his nose. And you have cake on your chin”

“Where?” You said in a panic

“Right…there” Jack said pointing it out but you couldn’t see it. “May I?” He said

“Yes please!” You said sticking out your chin for him to help you.

Jack took a napkin and cleaned up your chin from the white creamy cake. All The Homies were looking on from a distance and erupted with laughter.

“Don’t mind them.” Jack said to you as he dabbed your face gently.

“Thanks Jack I can be…abrasive let’s say.” You admitted “But I’m not apologizing for being tuff.” You were only willing to bend enough so he would relax and leave you be.

“Ok. I’ll take that as a W.” Jack said half chuckling

“A what?” You said not knowing what a W was.

“A W…you know..a Win?” Jack said not believing you didn’t know.

“I’m sorry. I’m not up on slang. I do nothing but go to work and school.” You said brushing cake off your fingers onto your pants

“Can I take you out some time? Seems like you could use some fun.” Jack asked you

“No thanks.” You said flatly “I work for your parents. I don’t think that’s appropri….”

“Mom I’m taking y/n out!” Jack yelled across the barn at his mom cutting you off.

“Ok hunny!” Maggie said distracted by a bunch of giggling kids around her

“You….” You started to say in objection

“Too late my mom says it’s fine.” Jack said teasingly “10pm that work for you?” He asked

“At night?” You asked incredulously

“Yes that’s when the PM is.” Jack said playfully “What, past your bedtime?” He mocked

“No.” You lied “What are we doing and when will we be back, and who are we going out with?” You asked like a parent.

“Don’t worry Mr. I’ll have your daughter home by midnight” Jack joked as if you’re dad was there. “We’re going to have fun, We’ll be back when we return, and we’re going with people.” Jack said. He called the shots now.

“I need to bring my friend.” You said

“Fine.” Jack said not sure it was a good idea as he just heard your friend was kinda rude too. “It’s just pool at my place. Nothing fancy.” He said “See you later, go home and shower cuz you need it.” He said hiding how adorable he thought you looked with cake in your hair and all over your pants.

“Bye boys!” Maggie called out after him and Clay and all their friends.

Jack pulled up in front of the dorms with Copeland in the front. “Oh my god is that a huge arrow tattooed on his head?” You said to your friend who was even more nerdy than you.

“Y/n, What the hell are we doing getting into a car with these guys?” She asked

“Jack’s actually ok. I think.” You said to her uncertain

“Ok you think?” She said worried

“Hey sup.” Copeland said rolling down the window.

“Hi.” You waved to him and Jack and got in the back seat with your friend.

“Yo Jack remember that girl in nursing school? Did she go here?” Copeland asked

“Don’t fucking know WHO DA FUCK you’re talking about” Jack said slowly to tell Copeland to stop talking

“Uh yeah my bad, wrong girl” He said trying to recover

Jack rolled his eyes. “Shouldn’t have brought Cope.” He thought

“So… how are you? I’m Jack” he said looking at her friend in his rearview mirror.

“Hi I’m Ruby.” She said quietly

“So you what do you study Ruby?” Copeland said choking on a joint he just lit up much to Jack’s dismay as he was trying to make an impression.

“Um molecular biology.” Ruby said

“Dope” Copeland said sucking in weed smoke “what about you y/n”

“Oh, I am double majoring in History and Philosophy with a minor in art.” You said plainly

Jack and Copeland looked at each other and then looked in the back seat and started laughing. You and your friend had no idea what was so funny.

“Jack da fuk you pick up here? I don’t even know what all they just said.” Copeland laughed

“Can I have a hit?” You asked Copeland. Jack shot you a look in surprise.

“For real?” Copeland asked looking at Jack for it to be ok.

“I don’t need Jack’s permission to smoke.” You said to Copeland reaching your arm out for the joint. He passed it over and you took a long drag

“Yo! Don’t smoke all my shit!” He exclaimed laughing

You giggled adorably feeling freer now. Your friend was stiff staring straight ahead. “Can you drop me back to the dorm?” She said “I’m sorry this isn’t for me.”

“No problem. I can turn back.” Jack said disappointed. He assumed it meant you were leaving them too.

“Ruby! That’s so rude.” You said hitting your friend on the arm

“Y/n I am not going anywhere with these two.” She said as Jack pulled back up in front of the dorms “Come on, you have your big exam tomorrow morning. Let’s go.” She said standing on the curb waiting for you to get out of the car.

“Bye Ruby.” You said folding your arms

“Y/n” she said outraged “When you fail don’t cry to me.” She said stomping off

“She’s worse than you.” Jack said looking at you. “Yo Cope, let the lady in the front.”

Copeland obliged and switched places with you. He lit up another joint and you and him smoked another one.

“Yo easy on that ok?” Jack said not wanting his mom to blame him for you doing anything stupid.

“Ha! Okie dokie” you said giggling when nothing was funny. Copeland started howling in the backseat.

“Yo Cope.” Jack said “Would you mind if I dropped you off at Urban’s and you come by later with them?” Jack said “I want some time alone with y/n before you hooligans come around.” Jack said making you instantly nervous.

“I don’t need time alone with you.” You said returning to your sassy self

“Well I see all the weed in the world doesn’t chill you out.” Jack said. By now you both had this mean banter going that was becoming your thing together.

Jack dropped Urban off and headed down a dark road.

“Look if you’re taking me somewhere to kill me just know I know self-defence” you warned

“Somehow you don’t frighten me.” Jack said his 6”3 frame towering over your 5”6. “I’m taking you somewhere special to me before we go to my place” He said. He pulled onto a gravel area and parked the car on a hill overlooking the city. “Isn’t it beautiful?” He said, taking your hand as you left the car and walked closer to the edge of the hill. He noticed you shivering and offered you his coat.

“Don’t put that on me.” You said moving off to the side as he started putting the coat around you. “You could’ve fed a whole village somewhere by the time you bought that coat.”

“Well you suck at being a gold digger.” He said, secretly pleased you weren’t in to material things but noticed you were still judging him.

“If we’re going to be friends stop fucking judging me and my friends.” He said

“I’m sorry Jack” You said

“Its ok. For some reason, I…I like you. A lot.” He said “You treat me so…”

“Rudely?” You said feeling ashamed

“You’re rude, but that comes from shit you’ve gone through.” He said figuring you out. “I saw you starting to cry when you were watching that little girl ride the horse earlier.” He said putting his coat around you and holding you. “You’ve had to hold shit down for yourself. I get it.” He said as warmly as his coat.

“I hate this coat.” You joked “Wearing this to a barn. Fucking ridiculous”

“Fuck you its a Moncler” Jack said still holding you. By now this was how you spoke to one another, and it bonded you in a weird way. “The kids had to see me flex. They look up to me.” He said rocking you.

“I never looked at it that way.” You said looking up at him.

He leaned down and planted a warm kiss on your waiting lips. “I..I was that little girl.” You said leaning on him.

“Figured as much” Jack said sweetly “I mean who’s this much of a fucking dork by choice.” He said with a straight face and a dimple starting to show.

“Fuck you!” You said laughing trying to break away from his arms, but he mini-wrestled to keep you close.

“I used to come up here when I got writers block.” He said staring off into the city lights at a distance.

“We all got shit” he said “Point is we should all have each other”

“Jack.” You said

“Ummmm?” He said holding you tighter

“You’re squeezing me.” You said pretending to be out of breath

“ Too bad” he said not aware of is size sometimes. “But seriously, any time you feel lonely or stressed out. Just come here and it will all be ok.” He said kissing the top of your head.

“I think it’s all ok now.” You said looking up into his eyes twinkling like the city lights

[alixlives]

USER FIZZTHELEE PULLING UP WITH ANOTHER TICKLE DREAM, AND HOLY FUCK ITS A LOT /POS

this is a lot of words to the point its just a terribly set up fic so props to you if you read the whole thing

Alright. So Tommy posts a new video, Sadly i don’t remember what it was called nor do i remember what channel he posted it on, but it was probably the Tom Simons channel. However i can remember the thumbnail, i just dont know how to explain it.

Anyways. This is everyone in the video:

Tommy(duh)

Tubbo

Ranboo

Karl

MrBeast

Wilbur

Techno

And i think there might’ve been more but i cant fucking REMEMBER. Also when did this giant meetup happen? No fucking clue LMFAO

Anyways. So what they’re doing in this video, it’s basically seeing who of that group can last the longest being tickled. I guess its not very fair that everyone would have 5 people tickling them, but still. In the dream they actually got through everybody, but it cut off & i woke up before Tommy and Techno’s turn. However i will end up saying how i think their turns would’ve gone!

So up first was..

*drumroll*

TUBBO! WOOOOOOO

so it’s Tubbo up first, and when Jimmy announces this (jimmy didn’t have a turn btw, i think he should’ve had a turn bc it isnt his channel that it was posted on) Tubbo has a look of dread, anticipation, and excitement. He tried real hard to make it look like more of dread, but it was really mostly excitement and anticipation.

Tubbo sits down in a comfortable enough chair that he won’t get hurt from squirming, and he is trying to prepare himself (kind of like how he did in the IRL ylyl back in october, like closing his eyes, breathing and doing that hand motion) as Tommy, Ranboo, Wilbur, Karl, And Techno crowded around him.

And then the second he opened his eyes he broke into giggles and his face flushed pink. Could you imagine that? Your sitting in a chair knowing you’re gonna end up being tickled, and you look up to see 5 people smirking at you and ready to strike.

Tommy and Ranboo had more ‘evil’ looks than anyone else in the room—they know Tubbo’s spots better than anybody, which made Tubbo even more giddy. Everyone teased him for being so giggly without them even doing anything, and when Tubbo least expected, everyone started tickling him. Techno at his knees, Wilbur on his neck/ears, Karl at his hips, Tommy at his sides, and Ranboo at his stomach.

My man SCREECHED and his anticipatory giggles turned into high-pitched laughter. He would be saying things like “NOHOHAHA!“ “STOHOHAHAP” “OHOH SHIHIHIT!” “TOHOHOMMY!” “RAHAHAN— FUHUHUCK KAHAHARL!”

Tubbo lasted about 5 minutes before making everyone stop. And next up, was Wilbur.

Now we all know from a certain clip from one of Ash’s vlogs that Wilbur can hide his reactions very easily, unless he doesn’t expect it and unless you get a certain spot. So this was going to be pretty embarrassing for Tubbo, as for he absolutely lost his shit the second everyone was just looking at him, and Wilbur is gonna show basically no reactions.

So Wilbur sits down exactly where Tubbo had sat, not preparing himself because he thinks he wont show any reactions. But the rest of the group is planning. It was more just Tommy warning everyone that Wilbur will probably be hiding his reactions and not to worry about it, because Tommy knows how to break him.

So they all surround Wilbur, and Wilbur just has a confident smirk on his face. So everyone, except Tommy, starts tickling him, and he barely even fucking giggles.

Tommy was behind the chair, waiting for the exact moment to strike, which was when Wilbur would say something about how he wont break.

“You guys won’t get me, i’m not tickliHIHISH- WHAHAT-? TOHOHOHOMMY!”

Tommy dug his fingers into Wilbur’s ribs, wiggling his fingers between each bone, pinching his top and bottom ribs. Tommy knew EXACTLY what to do to Wilbur, he’s his younger brother! Why wouldn’t he?

Techno was cheering and laughing at wilbur. He’d say stuff like “YEAH TOMMY GET HIM!”

Wilbur lasted two minutes longer than Tubbo.

Next was Karl. This should be less embarrassing for Tubbo! Karl is fucking insanely ticklish, and everyone knows it, even the mcyt / dsmp fandom.

When Jimmy announced it was Karl’s turn and gave Karl a knowing smile, Karl just fucking booked it for a hiding spot. But his hiding rendered useless as he was giggling like mad, so everyone found him pretty quickly.

Jimmy took him out from the hiding spot and set him in the chair. Karl prepared himself exactly how Tubbo did, but he just kept looking at the ground.

I think you know the drill at this point. Except Karl was a really big squirmer and kicker, so everyone had to fuckin dodge his legs and basically his entire body to avoid getting hurt.

As this was going on, Jimmy suddenly announced— “If your name starts with R, your going after Karl!” And he immediately looked at Ranboo. Soon after everyone was looking at Ranboo. Why did he agree to this?

But Tommy got nervous too— he might be going last.

Karl was being tickled for three minutes before he made everyone stop.

“Oh Ranboo!” Wilbur called with a playful smirk. (do you get that reference? a reference of my own fic was in my dream. Wow.)

Ranboo took Karl’s spot in the seat, his cheeks were a bright rosy red. He was thankful for the mask.

Tommy, Tubbo, and Wilbur all gave Ranboo that look that he and Tommy had given Tubbo when it was his turn. Again, WHY DID HE AGREE TO THIS?

Wilbur was crouched beside Ranboo, Tommy on his left, Tubbo on his right, Karl behind him, and Techno on the other side of Wilbur.

Once they started, Ranboo burst into loud cackles. He had three death spots being targeted at once— can you guess who was at each one?

Ranboo lasted a solid 8 minutes, mans has stamina.

Alright now for Tommy and Techno. These two, are just how i think their turns wouldve gone👍

Jimmy span a wheel on his phone(that’s how he’s been choosing who’s turn it is), and when the wheel stopped, he announced, “Techno!”

Techno took Ranboo’s spot on the chair, he was pretty calm about this. So they all took their places around Techno and without warning they started. But Techno had only let out light giggles.

Until Wilbur got to the sides of his back. Techno screamed and tried to lean forward to get away.

Safe to say he lasted 6 minutes.

Tommy skipped tickling Techno, as for he just wants more time to prepare himself. Everyone in the room knows how ticklish he is, they all know his spots. He has to beat Ranboo!

Tommy sat in the chair, he expected it so surely it won’t be as bad.

He infact was wrong, it took everything in him not to laugh. He definitely squirmed a lot more than he normally would, but anything to not laugh. Ranboo knew Tommy wanted to beat his time. And he was doing pretty well— 3 miniutes without laughing. So he did what any good evil person would do, and he drilled his thumbs into Tommy’s hips!

Which of course broke him, and he lasted seven minutes.

SEVEN. He spent another 10 minutes yelling at Ranboo

Woooo tickle dreams