#if being 'normal' requires being cruel to people different from you then I don't WANT to be normal | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

miraculouslbcnreactions · 5 months

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Tell me, do you think Amelie shows any of the signs of a woman who was mistreated by her husband, or at least do you think she did before season 5?

That is really, really, really not something you can tell just from a few casual encounters with a person, especially since we didn't meet her until after Colt was dead and we never saw her in another romantic relationship. Every victim will act differently and have different triggers. I have no doubt I could find Amelie's perfect match among real victims because there is no set pattern of behavior they're required to follow to be real victims.

All that being said, I think this ask may just be poorly phrased, so I'm gonna talk about the general way the abuse was handled by the story, which was not great.

As I talk about this more, please remember that we are discussing characters in a story and not real people. I would never be this critical of a real person because a real person is not a piece in an ongoing narrative. A friend revealing that they were abused without any prior indication of this fact is perfectly normal as victims are often very good at masking their symptoms. A character doing the same is often bad writing as stories allow you to get inside people's heads, to see people in private moments, or even just when no one else is looking at them. If the writers never take a moment to use those kinds of tricks to set up a big reveal like an abusive parent, then the reveal comes off like something the writers made up at the last minute, which is bad writing.

So, if you're asking if the show set up the reveal well, then no, I don't think it did as nothing we see in the show would make you guess that something was off about Colt. Like you could argue that it makes Amelie's overprotective and indulgent nature make sense, but lots of people spoil their kids without going through abuse, so that behavior didn't need to be explained. It was perfectly logical as-is.

You could also argue that the abuse explains why Felix is a bully, but plenty of people are awful to others without ever going through some sort of trauma. Felix being a bully could have just as easily have been the result of a pampered upbringing where he was given everything he wanted.

Colt's reveal can be argued to recontextualizes Amelie and Felix's behavior, but that's about it. It doesn't take questionable behavior and make it suddenly make sense. Like I'm still baffled as to why Felix did all the crap he did in his titular episode because he was never cruel just to be cruel again, so what was going on there? Why the dramatic character shift in season four and five?

For the show to have actually set up the reveal of Colt's abuse, it would have needed a really blatant example of Amelie or Felix being triggered OR some sort of line that established that something was off about Colt or even just a line to establish that Felix changed after Colt's abuse started since it's implied that it only showed up after he realized he was sick/dying.

For a trigger, just look at how Marinette was written in Derision. That actually was a good example of PTSD (or at least, my second hand understanding of it). The reason why I'm so critical of that episode is because PTSD doesn't magically turn on and off like that. It's not the kind of thing that shows up for a single episode and then disappears. Marinette should have been having moments like that long before Derision AND long after it, especially since the show has written in a lot of moments that would have made for good times to trigger her and establish that something was off. She's been to that pool with Adrien before. She had Kim ask for her opinion on a present he's giving to another girl. She saw an image of Kim down on his knees with a gift.

Any or all of those should have drawn out some kind of negative, trauma-based reaction from her if the writers wanted us to believe that this fictional character who they have full control over has ongoing trauma. Unless the writers are really saying that all those questionable jokes were her being triggered and then just.... I hope I don't have to explain how utterly disgusting that is.

For an example of a line, they could have done something like having Adrien apologize for missing Colt's funeral only for Felix to say something about Colt not deserving to be mourned or really anything to indicate that he wasn't exactly sad that his father was gone. They could have also had Adrien comment on how much Felix had changed since they were kids and how he could never imagine his cousin being so cruel.

To be fair, they kinda do that one with Adrien initially dismissing Felix's behavior as being the result of his father's recent passing, but it's hard to tell if that means that Felix used to be kind or what. That's especially true because Adrien's been show to tolerate a lot of bad behavior and Felix is canonically made from jealous (Yes, I'm serious, this was a line in the play: His jealousy came to life). So Felix has probably always been jealous of Adrien and will probably always be a jealous person because I guess that's just what he was made to be?

Moving on!

I wanted to highlight that the writers do know how to do this kind of discussion-based setup, as we saw back in Frightningale:

Mayor Bourgeois: But sweetie, there's no way we can cancel the shoot now. Chloé: (pulling out her phone) I'm going to call Mom and tell her how all my dreams have been crushed! (feigns sorrow) Mayor Bourgeois: (stammers anxiously, then grabs Chloé's phone and starts punching in a phone number) Let's not disturb our beloved Queen for such a little matter; right, my little Princess?

Even if this line is kinda weird since Audrey probably wouldn't have even answered the phone.

Any time the writers actually commit to a plot point, they set it up in a way that a little kid could pick up on because of course they do! This is a show for little kids. I think the writers do genuinely want it to be entertaining for the intended audience.

This is why the Colt thing is so weird to me. It's a pretty freaking serious thing to add to your show out of nowhere and I have a sneaking suspicion that it's never going to be mentioned again, which is less than stellar writing. It very much feels like something the writers added to hand waved away Felix's bad behavior, but I'd argue that this is actually a terrible lesson to teach kids.

Being kind to those who have gone through trauma is always a good lesson to teach, but Felix has attempted to assault Ladybug, tried to malign his cousin's good name by impersonating him, and betrayed the entire world by empowering a terrorist even though he could - and should - have immediately gone to Ladybug and told her who the terrorist was. These are not minor faux pas and trauma is not an excuse to traumatize others, otherwise we'd end up with a world full of traumatized people doing whatever they wanted because trauma!

There is a lot of nuance to this topic, but at the very least, Felix needed to do some serious apologizing to make his redemption feel earned. We should not be teaching kids that a sob story is all it takes to justify the kind of shit Felix pulled as that would mean that Gabriel and Chloe's actions were also fully justified because trauma! Might as well lump Lila in there, too, because I'm pretty sure that she's an orphan? Whatever is going on with her backstory is nothing good and we really need to be seeing some clearer messaging around who gets redeemed and why. It's why I've reblogged so many posts about Felix and Chloe being near identical in their actions. The issues is not that Chloe needs to be redeemed. The issue is that there is no reason why she wasn't and Felix was. There is nothing a child can point to in order to understand who you should give a second chance to and who you should run away from for your own mental health.

#ml writing salt #ml writing critical

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emblazons · 1 year

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I'm the last anon. I forgot to point something.

Do you think Henry stating that Brenner wasn't a monster but just an ordinary man seeking for special things in other people can make El realize Mike isn't her savior but just an ordinary boy who admire others for what make them different?

Not trying to say Mike and Brenner are the same, but they do have been paralleling/contrasting each other. Mike is a good person and has good intentions, but his insistence in seeing El as superior is not good for her nor to their relationship.

!!! okay I finally got a chance to answer this—and yes, I absolutely think those two ideas are meant to be connected for her (though I'm not sure she's parsed them out yet). Its one of the first thoughts I had watching part ii as a little-deeper than GA way back in July of 2022, so...its not even my ongoing analysis brain that brought it up (though its definitely expanded since then lol). Let me see if I can explain.

forewarning: this is really long and probably the most brutal anti-mlvn post I've ever written. It is not intended to be cruel to Mike in the slightest, but. In order to talk through the narrative, I must address what is going on in El's mind, and tbh...it's not all that pleasant in anyone's direction but Max's & maybe Hopper's at this point.

The entirety of S4, El is repeatedly presented with people attempting to challenge her oversimplified and depressed sense of self and others, given that, in the time since she's lost Hopper, her first home, her friends and her powers, she's been desperately trying (and failing) to sort through her place in the world.

Please note that the depression part is absolutely critical...because it's how Vecna can so easily influence her thinking, both via what she sees in NINA memories and during his monologue to her in Piggyback scenes.

We see her do it with Mike:

We see her do it with Brenner:

And we see her do with with Henry/Vecna:

—and as she goes along learning from each, we watch her come in contact with more nuanced (potential) self-concepts each time.

With Mike, she gets a fellow 14 year old with no framework for powers trying to navigate El's complex existential crisis he's spent several months unaware of and has no equivalent context for—which is why he pulls on her being a "superhero" so much. Its how he understands her, and what has been most obvious to him over the years; she's saved him, saved Will, and saved Hawkins in just the few years he's known her, and that (in his very nerd-oriented mind) is something worth celebrating and being excited about, even in people who don't have superpowers.

For him, El is not a "tool" necessarily...but the oversimple "superhero" side of her certainly overshadows the rest for him. Its why they struggle so hard in a "normal" romantic relationship—interpersonal closeness and emotional intimacy isn't what their bond is built on, though they do care for and want to protect one another.

With Brenner, she gets a more mature (and yet still power-focused) person who is familiar with her powers and past enough to give more nuanced insight, but who is also 1) abusive, manipulative and selfish and 2) has never looked at El, Henry or the other numbers as human beings, but rather tools to accomplish goals. Even so, Brenner is an adult, and therefore understands that El cannot move forward understanding herself so simply because his own actions require complex jumps and justification to make sense to himself—

—and also because, as anyone who has see themselves change over time knows, we do not keep the same oversimple self-concept of ourselves as we age, make mistakes, and grow. Brenner sees the girl with powers, and knows what she's capable of...just like he (and Owens, honestly) knows that she is not truly evil or monstrous despite having great destructive capability. The "monster" in him though is very human-oriented...which is why El so often finds herself associating Mike's insecurities within Brenner's manipulation.

Disclaimer: that last sounded bad for Mike, but: he is literally 14, and not trying to manipulate or abuse El in any way, shape, or form. Mike Wheeler is really just insecure kid who makes mistakes thrust into an extremely unusual situation, trying to do his best with the knowledge he has. Even so...immature and under-informed people often do things that mirror mature people with legitimately cruel intentions—one is just an adult aware & intentional about the tactic, where the other is a boy who isn't.

With Henry/Vecna though, El finds an true equal, but as a foil—the actual "monster" to her "superhero," though we spend the entire season realizing that even Henry cannot be parsed down to something so remedial or one-note as "monster" either.

Henry is someone who is almost exactly like El, down her powers and being abused/manipulated by Brenner—though she's made different choices, which is the radical difference between the two of them (and one I think will be core for her to learn as we move into S5).

While Henry and El are in fact quite identical in many ways, its the choice El made to say "no" to Henry when he asked her to join her + her resistance of his desire to overpower others (which he himself notes)—on top of her desire to protect others' lives and autonomy in a way he does not that makes her good!different, rather than the bad!different Henry is.

Even so...the similarities of experience and struggle they've had at Brenner's hands make what he says resonate with Eleven—because, as we all know, some of the best villains are the ones whose concept has clear mirroring within the protagonist, only a shade off (think Killmonger and Black Panther).

Its pretty clear then, why this long lead up through Mike, Brenner and Henry presenting her with increasingly complex concepts of self & humanity would make her reflect on Mike (+ their relationship).

From the beginning, Mike' finding El and taking her in first fits him (for better or worse) squarely into the "males whose presence in my life has been formative" corner—which is why we get Mike/Hopper, Hopper/Brenner and Mike/Brenner comparisons/parallels throughout course of the show this paragraph deserves a whole post on its own, but I'm trying to stay on track here lmfao.

Its also why this line in particular (and, finally, to your point) serves as a brutal reminder that El and Mike are incompatible—not because Mike himself is doing anything to harm El, but because Mike, like Brenner for her and Henry, 1) focuses on her powers and 2) has no framework for understanding her feeling different the way she wants (and needs) to be understood.

Given that El has already confronted Papa (and left him to die for what he's done to her) and she believes Hopper is already dead—

the only person left (truly guilty or not) in the line of people who 1) were integral to forming El's understanding the world; 2) tried to tell her how she should use her powers; 3) put up resistance to her autonomy; 4) lied to her and 5) could not understand her in her difference...is Mike Wheeler—

—who she already disappointed with, who is entirely unaware any of this shit is happening within her, and who is also being encouraged by an only slightly less unaware (and in love) Will Byers to "be the heart" and lead the party like he would a campaign.

...these are also the circumstances we get this supposedly "romantic monologue" in...and where we see him reference (and remind El) not only the moment he took her in (aka ended up in one of the inadvertent authority positions she's currently rebelling against), but also the fact that he thinks she's a "superhero," (which she doesn't believe about herself after Henry's monologue).

It's no wonder then, why she seemed uncomfortable af with all he said during the entire monologue...or why she ignored him the rest of the season (except, we learn, to say to Mike that Brenner—someone she can't stand, and who she's now spent a solid chunk of this season internally associating him with—was right).

Basically: the fact that a deeply conflicted and depressed El found kinship with a manipulative Henry (while simultaneously feeling rage at Brenner...and Mike by PTSD association) means that the displeasure she feels at Brenner and everything is gonna come out at another figure who has mirrored the things she is rebelling against—her very unaware boyfriend, Mike.

Hopper isn't there to balance as a "positive" adult male perception for her either...which leaves Mike in the wildly unfair position of being the "last man standing" for the parallel sadness & rage El feels about being different, much like Henry.

That is why Vecna saying that Brenner was an "ordinary, mediocre man" now has an immediate association with Mike in El's mind...one that is just another nail in the coffin of their romance, and that she will have to pull out of her perception if they're going to heal even on a friend level from the disaster this season has created in S5.

—I will say that the presence of Max as contrast through all of these moments is critical, as Max is the one person who has asked her who she is and what she wants, as well as who parallels El signs of internal conundrum about how she sees herself (that El overhears when she enters the void). Max is also the one who reminds El of the autonomy and positive human identity that El so wants for herself.

Hopper coming back and reclaiming the spot as a positive (actual) father figure that El has been projecting onto Mike in his absence is critical as well, considering his presence (and knowledge of Mike) will likely temper the brutality El is directs at Mike in her weakest moments of the season too). But...that is a whole other post, and I've already written (another) novel.

#this got so long but I NEEDED to give the whole framework to be fair to how we got there. at leastin my mind lmao #also...yeah this is a much more thematically dense post than my usual ones just fyi #anti mlvn #el hopper #mike wheeler #martin brenner #henry creel #vecna #my st commentary #my s4 rewatch #because that's what got me to this point haha #stranger things #parentified mike

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rodismancave · 1 year

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A reminder to new folks because I feel I need to say this. It's a few specific rules and more of a 'this is how i roleplay' thing. It kinda got away from me fast but alas, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable for any reason so I just said what I feel i need to say to make that happen.

My muse is mean. It's usually nothing personal but he is Mean if provoked. There is a line and it is Thin.

This extends to his friends, mostly as a show of ease around them and as jokes, its just how he is. a little jokey joke. he says things without thinking and sometimes that leads to misunderstanding or an otherwise "cruel" comment. He normally doesnt mean it like that (unless he does)

this account is like 80% crack. i am here to have fun and be silly. if you take me seriously and get offended by it then I'm sorry but frankly, I have stated this many, many times. I do roleplay serious stuff, I do focus on a little bit of storytelling every once in a while, but for the most part I am silly and quirky. My portrayal won't always be 100% ic, sometimes a little ooc is healthy, for the bit. I stay committed to the bit, always.

Of course. if he's mean to your muse and you don't like it then you can let me know and I'll tone it down. I'll never be an asshole to people I dont know are 100% down to it or who aren't familiar with how my muse acts. However, sometimes being mean is in character with my muse and theres no other way around it. But the more intense, "i want to cause psychic damage" convos I will always ask if its okay for my muse to go hard on yours.

Rodimus is aware of the multiverse. This does not mean he's aware of the history of each multiverse. He may be aware of them, briefly, but he is really not going to dwell on it much and if you expect him to know it he just. wont. He doesn't really care all that much. This is also to say that he may confuse your muse for someone in his crew because of looking alike, and will treat you as such unless proven otherwise.

There are no people who are "canon" to Rodimus' crew, not at the moment. The only ones who I can say with confidence who are in his crew are @weavingmemoir and @stealthfeline, who are also my muses. This is for practicality. If your muse is part of the Lost Light crew in general, though (brainstorm, whirl, megatron, etc) you can respond to my lost light posts as if you were a member of his crew, I dont really mind. Like I said: commitment to the bit, always. The bit is always funnier when more people join.

Don't pretend like your muse knows mine and vice versa without talking to me first. This is mostly about muses outside G1 and IDW, or even people in IDW that Rodimus never really met, as well as OCs. It isn't really towards muses who HAVE interacted with Rodimus at least a few times. It is Awkward having to figure that out, and I'm not particularly a fan of having to dig around for people's relationships to understand what's going on between your muse and mine.

I don't really care if your muse is banging another Rodimus, or anyone else from his crew. Like I genuinely do not care, and neither does he.

I'll always make adjustments if you ask me to. I'll create new verses to fit with your muse, but that requires communication first and foremost. This also goes for events, if you want in on an event just talk to me and we'll see about it together. My events are never 100% thought out because I like leaving space for other participants to have a say in what happens. I just think its fun, like a group project (but less stressful)

When interacting with me I ask to lay off on the quirky colors and varying different fonts in one single reply. I have a lot of difficulty reading things like that and it strains my vision and it gives me a headache. Just, always have the same font throughout, and if there are different fonts, please let them be at least readable. The standard tumblr fonts are fine, except 'lucille', and the small font tends to me specially frustrating sometimes.

This is a g1/idw based blog. I take stuff i like from g1 and stuff i like from idw and i slam it together until I have something I like. Rodimus does not like the prime title, he does not miss being a prime, and he absolutely does not appreciate being called one, unless its doing things for his ego or to make himself look greater than he is. He is an Ass.

#ooc / misty forest #long post i guess.#goooooooooood afternoon everypony i yam going to go back to drawing art trades LOL bye

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zeawesomebirdie · 11 months

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Going insane in your askbox again <3 true friendship right there. Anyway so you've probably noticed I am so so into Baldur's Gate 3 right now so I just want to let the thoughts out in a discombobulated fashion. There are no fun parallels here (or are there? I think I can do fun parallels) this is just word vomit because I can't play the game until either my dad finds a way to let me play from across the Channel or until Christmas. Because I couldn't bring my good PC all the way to England and my laptop sure as fuck doesn't have the specs to play it. So.

I don't know how much you've seen of it but one of my favourite things is explaining media to people in too much detail so I will pretend you only know that there's hot characters in it. It's an RPG based on the D&D system (and set in a D&D world) where you're an adventurer kidnapped by one of those yucky psychic-powered tentacle monsters, a mindflayer. You and the whole ship of kidnappees have those nasty little mindflayer tadpoles inserted in your brain (like in TCW on Geonosis, this time it's through the eye), and even though you blow up the mindflayer ship and save yourself by the end of the tutorial, that little tadpole is going to make you into a mindflayer in a few days (that's how they reproduce). So you embark, originally, on a quest to not transform into an actual monster, and it all spirals from there. On the way, you get to meet other people who have common interests with you, the main ones being six other people with a tadpole in their brain, who can team up with you & become your companions because they also don't want to become mindflayers, but there's also lots of cool NPCs of course.

The game plays pretty close to actual D&D, if you've played it/seen people play it, so there's all the classes (except artificer alas), the spells, the combat is turn-by-turn, and you roll dice for a lot of stuff that requires skills. There's a lot of options for how you play things, dialogue, actions, etc, and it doesn't feel as "good normal thing to do vs the most cartoonishly cruel thing ever" as a lot of those immersive RPGs do (it does sometimes but way less). The story looks pretty insane from what I've seen trying not to spoil myself too much, and I say that in a very positive way.

And okay, I'm going insane about the story, sure, but mostly it's the companions. The main six are really fleshed out and interesting, their voice actors all did a great job, their writing is great, and they're so so compelling aargh. In order of when you meet them, we have... 1) Lae'zel the Githyanki, a race of alien looking green guys from a different plane of reality with a very warrior culture. They have a deep hatred of mindflayers, so Lae'zel is extremely intense about finding a cure for the tadpole issue, and they're very ferocious, so she's pretty abrasive if you haven't befriended her. 2) Shadowheart the cleric, who's a bit racist at first to be honest, and very mysterious... In part because she doesn't remember much of her life, in part because she's secretive about the bits she does remember. Then the next two are in the same area and you can see whichever first, but 3) Gale of Waterdeep, the scrungly wizard, and yes he really is so scrungly. Wizards in D&D are the spellcasters who weren't born with magic but who studied it and who owe their powers to hours of reading books, consequently he's kind of a nerd. He also asks to eat your magic items pretty early on because he's got a condition where he needs to eat magic or bad things happen. 4) Astarion, my beloved, the pale elf, the vampire spawn. Yes, him, you know who it is everyone posts about him and they're correct to do so, I mean what's not to love? He's a vampire, he's hot, he's judgy and flirty and fucked up, his morals are atrocious, absolutely great character. 5) Wyll Ravengard, the Blade of Frontiers, a charming knight in shining armour type, who given his skill with a rapier you'd think is some kind of fighter, but actually he's a warlock with a patron who's both hot and suspect. And 6) Karlach (pronounced Kar-lack, not Kar-lash), a tiefling with a burning engine for a heart and the nicest personality of any of the companions honestly. She's tall, she's strong, all the lesbians want her, and because of the engine-for-a-heart thing she runs really really hot and subsequently she can't touch things (or people) or they burn.

That's the main guys, which you can also play as if you want (but it's not the best idea for a main playthrough, you're better off creating your own adventurer and then maybe on a second/third/etc. playthrough trying one of the origins characters, or the Dark Urge, which, that's something else entirely, ignore that). They're all interesting and fun and I want to do their quests so bad and I would romance all of them at the same time if I could, but alas they're not all into polyamory. My first run is 100% going to be romancing Astarion, because I love them all but I am positively insane about him.

Now I've tried not to spoil myself too much but let's be honest I still managed to, so, eh, but it's more like sunlight through the leaves of a tree, there's still a lot of shadows, I just have a clear-ish picture of a certain amount of stuff. From that picture, I'll say that I love interactions between the companions especially, like I find all the similarities and differences between them so interesting, and the different relationships they could have fascinate me.

For example, and yes I have Astarion tunnel vision, there's an interesting dynamic with him and Wyll, or him and Karlach, there's room for fun stuff with him and Gale as well, and honestly if I knew Shadowheart and Lae'zel well enough I could say there's something there as well but I don't - except that Lae'zel and Astarion are often together in the morals thing. Oh yeah there's a companions approval thing, so sometimes when you do an action they'll approve or disapprove, and it's weighted based on how important the issue is to them. Lae'zel approves of violence, Wyll approves of helping people, etc. Well Lae'zel loves violence, because that's her culture, and Astarion - also likes violence lol, and he doesn't like stopping to save all the pathetic lifeforms you encounter. So in that way they're both focused on the goal, curing themselves from the tadpole, unwilling to stop and help every damsel in distress, and they think the best resolution to a conflict is someone's blood outside of their body.

Shadowheart and Lae'zel have this hate relationship where at the start of the game Shadowheart is kind of against Lae'zel's people (kind of rightfully so, their reputation as fierce warriors who'll destroy anything as long as it means getting rid of a mindflayer isn't exactly wrong), and Lae'zel isn't nice to anyone but especially not those who antagonise her (and people love to make them fuck about it, which. Yeah. Yeah, make them fuck about it). Karlach is part of Wyll's backstory, he was meant to kill her because she killed people but you can like, smooth things over and uncover truths or something (I haven't played that part yet!) and she can join your party and it's good now, but there's a connection there. I'm trying to connect Gale to someone but honestly I don't know now that I think about it, I need to look into him some more he's so fun to me.

But you could argue that there's things that they all have in common - I feel like, off the top of my head, they all have this authority figure who sucks in their life? Gale has Mystra, the goddess he follows (followed?) who apparently sucks violently as a person, Astarion has Cazador, the vampire who turned him and abused him for centuries, Shadowheart has I think Shar, her goddess, Wyll has Mizora, his patron who's hot and shitty, I mean she's a warlock patron, Karlach has I believe Zariel, who - kept her trapped in one of the nine Hells?, and Lae'zel has whatever the fuck is happening with the Githyanki and their queen Vlaakith which honestly sounds like a shitty cult. Like they've all got fucked up authority figures <3 it's different flavours, like Astarion and Karlach actually have a fair bit in common with the way they were treated (but they're opposites in the way they reacted, which to be fair they weren't in the exact same situation so y'know - Karlach is joyful and passionate and pretty straightforward, Astarion is sarcastic and secretive and guarded, and also he approves of you letting children get hurt), or Gale and Shadowheart who both have religion/deity issues, and Wyll and Karlach share a person from their past that sucks, but like. Lil group of fucked up homies <3 I can't wait to hold all of their hands while we decimate whoever hurt them.

I'm not kidding btw there's a scene at the start where you can literally crush the skull of the mindflayer who abducted you (off screen but it does make a crunch) and I can't wait to do the closest thing to that that the game will allow to Cazador :) I think I'm also going to have a Reaction to Gale's storyline but I've managed to keep the details fuzzy for now so I don't know more.

So hi this is me chewing at drywall desperately waiting to get to play the game <3 how's it going in DC land, having fun with all the Robins? I personally think you should look at Gale a little, he has a vibe in common with Obi-Wan (the "looks like an english professor, is actually pretty slutty" vibe) and also he says pish posh unironically and he wears pyjamas at camp (everyone else just takes off some layers and looks kind of dressed for the club, he full on gets the velvet pj top out, it's incredible). Though Wyll is also very charming, like I keep going on about how Astarion is incredible because of course I think that, and Gale has the nerd charm, and next to that Wyll looks a little Less (and he has hours less of content I think), but the man has a charm. And the ladies are great too, it's just that you're less into women, but -

Oh wait I forgot to say: you know how in D&D there's 6 stats, strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma, and the highest any of your stats can be at character creation is 17 and the lowest is 8? Astarion, unsurprisingly, has an 8 in strength, he's a rogue, it's normal; Gale also has an 8, but he's a nerd who loves books, so that's fair; and Karlach and Lae'zel both have 17 in strength, because they're great warriors, so that tracks. Shadowheart has a 13, which is fair for a cleric, and Wyll - Wyll, even though he's great with a rapier, is a warlock, and warlocks cast with their charisma, so it's not his highest stat, but it's fine, it's not going to be the dump stat either, right? Wrong. 8 strength for Wyll. It kills me every time. You've got those three women, two of whom could snap you in half and the third who could probably win at arm wrestling against random men, and three men, all with 8 in strength. 8 for an adventurer is pathetic, to be clear. 8 is your dump stat. The human average is 8 or 9. Adventurers are well above human in terms of stats. 8 in strength is normal for a wizard, but man, Wyll on his own, but also the combo of all of them having 8 in that one stat? It kills me.

(for the anecdote, their stats are roughly as follows: Astarion has an 8 in strength and a 17 in dexterity, normal for a rogue, and only 10 in charisma, which is truly enough to get him into bad situations and not enough to get out of them; Gale is a squishy wizard who, obviously, put all his points into intelligence, which - in D&D intelligence is book smarts and wisdom is street smarts, and it's the casting stat for wizards, so that tracks, his charisma manages to be higher than Astarion's also; Lae'zel has a 17 in strength and an 8 in charisma, which also tracks, she's a warrior and she doesn't need words to make people pay attention to her, she's also got a good constitution; Karlach also has the 17 strength, but her 8 is in intelligence, normal for her background and normal for a barbarian, and she has the same constitution as Lae'zel, a respectable 15; Shadowheart has a 17 in wisdom, which actually shines an interesting light on her character now that I think about it, and she's got the same 8 in charisma as Lae'zel, which, they should kiss about it; and Wyll's 17 is in charisma, which makes him the most charismatic of the group, which tracks with his vibe and the way he behaves on top of making sense for game mechanics, because once again warlocks cast with charisma. This game is turning me into a D&D player the way 3½ years of my bestie talking my ears off about the TTRPG didn't)

Actually I didn't even get to the fun point of Karlach and Astarion being contrasts in so many ways!! Because she's nice, he's mean, okay, but also. They're both kinda touch starved, but she's once again very open about it, she's overtly sad she can't touch people or pets because of her burning skin, and it feels like if you helped her with that she'd be trying to start a cuddle pile every evening at camp with zero shame about it, and also apparently there's a horny aspect to the no touch frustration thing if you're in a romance with her, because you both want to go for it but her skin says no. Astarion has spent 200 years obeying every order of a very cruel vampire lord, and he's both kind of desperate for someone to be nice to him, but also really really against people getting close to him in every sense of the term. He does also like cuddles though <3 and then there's the Wyll-Astarion thing, where Wyll is this very prince charming kinda guy, saves the widow and the innocent, just goes around helping people all the time, absolute bleeding heart, and Astarion spent 200 years suffering, hoping that someone would help, and nobody came - which is part of why he disapproves of you helping people, seeing people be so nice everywhere makes him mad, because he certainly didn't get any kindness for most of him life! You're saying that there are kind adventurers who help poor victims of fate, that there's actually a lot of those guys, it's just that none of them crossed his path, ever, in 200 years, when he was one of many and his sire is somewhat notorious?

Actually, thinking of that, there's a dialogue with Gale where Astarion says that the others can go pray to their deities if they want, but he won't, and Gale asks him if he's every prayed to any of them. He just goes "oh, I did, every one of them. None answered" and like. Arghhhh. The god worldbuilding in those two sentences!! Because there's gods of lots of things in the setting. Gods of the forgotten, the downtrodden, the victims, the abused, and the implications of that!!! I love the idea of deities actually existing, but them being both very human and also completely inhuman. Human in that they are Like Us, prone to the same fits of temper, the same cruelty, the same extremes as us, including also kindness, but inhuman in that it's pushed to eleven and distorted, because they're not actually human, either they never were or they aren't anymore. This shines a light on the human facet of them, because here it's about people, even well intentioned, kind people, turning away from suffering because it's complex and nuanced and difficult to help. Astarion was a vampire spawn, and he'd done terrible things, and his master was powerful, so... The gods are like us, they look away from pain and misery too. Insane sentences. Especially because the other gods we see also suck: Gale's goddess seems very shitty, and Shadowheart's also looks uuuh bad. I love the "gods suck" because in D&D lore those aren't just the christian god, they're kind of human, and a little bit of greek mythology vibes I would assume, and for real some of them just ascended to godhood from humanity, it's a thing that happens. So. Yeah. Sucks for Astarion obviously but that makes my brain effervescent. It's so crunchy for the worldbuilding. None of them answered..... Chewing on drywall!!

ANYWAY this is a BEAST holy shit. I have many thoughts about this game. Crunch crunch crunch. Good night beloved sleep well thank you for at least reading the unhinged ramblings, when I get the game I'll be back with even less hinges <3 can't wait for the wedding I'm going to be honest <3 <3

Ram my beloved. This is me rn:

Thank you for the hinges in my inbox!!! This was a delight to wake up to!!! No I don't understand at all but I am loving this for you!!!! May you get this game soon!!!!!!

(And thanks for all the context, like half my dash is this game and I think my boyfriend is playing it but I have somehow remained Unknowledgable about everything, so I appreciate it!!)

You asked how things are going in DC land. So. Funny story.

I'm still recovering from covid, like I'm negative now but by the Force I'm still so sick. I can't write. Like at all. Like I can't even tell you the last time I was too sick to write, it never happens. So my current fanfic reading word count is a 1.5 million words in the last three weeks. And I now have plans to make a rec list. And that's not even all!

I've also written three folk songs for superbat. Because I am Totally Normal about themb. I have spent the last several months trying to write songs In General and then three weeks of covid later I have three. About stupid idiots being in love. Because I'm Clearly Normal about them. And I low key am now just going to write a whole entire album because why not, and because none of the songs are explicitly fansongs they just sound like normal folk songs, so who's gonna know but me anyway (and all of tumblr. Bc if I manage to finish this thing I will never shut up about it)

AND. And I've also watched several movies, and started another TV show, exclusively so I could understand more fic. And that is. Going. My parents are very confused. The librarians probably get a kick out of my requests. My brothers have already started teasing me. I am having the time of my life

Also Dick is my favourite character, he's beautiful and wonderful and such a good oldest brother I love himb he is baby. I'm still working on learning about the other Robins, but I've read enough fic and seen enough comics to know sort of who the others are, it's just that my interest in things tends to fall in the pre-90's category, which means Dick is the only Robin for a lot of what I'm reading/watching

I love you, I hope you are enjoying your weekend and you and your hinges are always welcome in my inbox <3

#anon ☂️#i just want to watch the animated 90s batman tv show #but my dad is so. so judgmental about animated stuff #and its very obviously a 90s kids show #(and thats what i love about it i love stuff from the 90s and before it is So Wonderful)#but i loathe watching things with him because he Has to comment on Everything #and i just want to suspend my belief a little #and he isnt even one to talk!!!#he watches shitty low budget horror movies!!!!!#i should be able to watch quote unquote classic movies and tv!!!!!!#(i feel so old saying something from the 90s is classic but)#anyway #hi im still clearly sick i love you

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cursedvibes · 2 years

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why do you think yuji was born? i know jin wanted kids by why do you think kenjaku went along with it? if sukuna hates them what do they gain by making a vessel for him?

Tough question. Big part of that is only speculation for now. However, just because Sukuna hates Kenjaku doesn't mean he can't be useful (many people hate them and still serve a purpose). He's basically walking chaos and that's exactly what Kenjaku needs for the world they want to create. But they can't just let him walk around like he wants to. That would only get him prematurely killed and serve no purpose. If he had taken over when Yuuji swallowed the first finger, he would've just been killed by Gojo and then you need a new vessel for the next finger and so on. That's just tedious and would also lead to Sukuna not unleashing as much chaos as he can at this current point. He needs to be detained to gather his strength and only come out when it is convenient.

He's also a catalyst for Yuuji. Through exposure to his cursed energy Yuuji was able to see curses and his purpose as a vessel got him into Jujutsu Tech where he learned to control his cursed energy. Jujutsu Tech and Sukuna also got him into a lot of dangerous situations that could further his development, while making sure that Yuuji wouldn't accidentally permanently die. Why exactly Kenjaku wants Yuuji to grow further and further is hard to say. Could be to make him something similar to what Sukuna was in the Heian era. Like a natural disaster destroying everything he comes across. I think that's unlikely though because in that case there would be no need to let Yuuji experience a relatively normal childhood. It would be far easier to get him into that kind of mindset by having Kenjaku "raise" him themselves. Building him up to have him fall harder is a way to go but that would require more time and even then I just don't see Yuuji becoming as cruel and bloodthirsty as Sukuna. So it must be something more complex.

It's probably closer to what they want from the merger curse, only instead of optimizing cursed energy to the furthest extent, they want to push humanity to its brink, Yuuji being one specific research case. Could fit with his abilities being based so much on physicality. He gets a somewhat nice upbringing where all the best qualities of humanity like compassion, camaraderie and willingness to help others are instilled in him and then systematically break it down and see what happens. So you have a strong body combined with exceptional control of cursed energy, which would be the best humanity has to offer. Heavenly Restriction could push the body even further, but you would lose the cursed energy aspect and Kenjaku clearly isn't a fan of that approach, that's why they turned regular people into sorcerers and such. And onto that you add a humane personality.

Not sure why he would need to be Kenjaku's kid for that to work, except for the parental urge to see your children surpass you (which Kenjaku clearly has, see Shibuya). So Yuuji gets the exceptional body from Kaori (and maybe some remains of Sukuna?), the cursed energy manipulation from Kenjaku and I guess the humanity & compassion from Jin (literally what his name means). But I'm just spitballing here, could be something completely different. Jin wanting kids was probably just a nice coincidence and made the adjustment easier, with Kaori being the main reason they got close to the Itadori family in the first place. Could be that the family is also somehow distantly related to Sukuna (he didn't have any children though, so it must be through a sibling or cousin or something), but in that case his physicality is probably less important because Jin is like the total opposite of Sukuna appearance-wise. And Yuuji clearly takes after his father...but buff.

#asks #jjk spoilers #itadori yuuji #kenjaku

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oathofpromises · 10 months

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breaking down mid-hug because they just needed this so much - from Data to Hiroto, in a moment when Hiroto is his most vulnerable and open

No matter how desperately Hiroto yearned to escape the clutches of his past, it forever loomed over him like a relentless shadow, refusing to be cast aside. He may've successfully escaped the confinements of the cellar, yet but the scars lingering on his back and in his mind stayed. How many nights had the viper laid awake, hoping to finally have a good night's rest? For the longest time, he simply went without sleep. It was not the healthiest way to cope, but anytime he closed his eyes, all he would see were memories from his shattered past.

Biting his bottom lip, he leaned against the pillar and kept a watchful eye on Data as the brunet gathered some ingredients for dinner. Hiroto promised to show Data a few meals he learned as a kid from Tural. Hiroto warned Data that the food might be a bit spicy, at least compared to what he was used to around here.

They planned to buy the ingredients and return home quickly, where it was safe. The viper hated being so out in the open; he hadn't exactly left Tural on the best of terms, which meant the people there might have sent other vipers to take care of him. Either bring him back dead or alive, depending on what state they require his body to be in. He hadn't told Data that lately he had been receiving letters, mostly threats from some of the very same people who had scarred his back.

He's happy. The last thing I want to do is mess that up. Besides, as the Warrior of Light, he had plenty on his plate to deal with.

Hiroto knew the last thing Data wanted was for him to keep secrets or to hold back anything, and it wasn't a lack of trust. The brunet became someone that the viper wanted to protect—to allow past the defenses he had built over the years. Yet there was a tiny part that feared that Data might not like what he saw.

'Well, well, if it isn't Hiroto Caelum, it has been awhile.'

Hiroto turned, and his eyes widened as he saw Jivu, Cizu'yi's girlfriend—or was it his wife now? He didn't know or care, but seeing her brought on flashes from the past. She laughed as they stabbed daggers into his back, using her magic to keep him in a loop. She was one of the ones who took pleasure in causing others pain.

"Jivu. I don't know why you are here, nor do I care," stated Hiroto, as he already had a dagger out. He spun it around a finger before his crimson hues glared at the female Miqo'te. She had a lot of nerve coming here and right out in the open too.

'Hiro, still trying to act strong. We both know who you really are, and once that brunette you are hanging out with knows the full story, He will abandon you just like everyone else.'

Stop. I don't want to hear that. It's not something I haven't already told myself...

Jivu smirked as she leaned in and stabbed a dagger right near Hiroto's face, her hand traveling up his chest. Closing his eyes, he hated her touch—the way it made his stomach turn into knots. Normally, he would've easily had her off him, but she was using some paralyzing spell. She wanted to make him remember the cruel treatment he had received back then.

'Come now..Hiroto. You've slept with so many people before. Why not indulge yourself, or is this one different? Does he know that the man you loved was already taken, causing your heart to be broken and ripped into pieces? That he hated the sight of you.'

Please stop..

Hiroto felt a needle prick into his skin as his eyes widened, images from the past flooding into his mind. The pressure of the needle jabbing into his neck, the cold of the chains keeping him against the cellar wall The feel of each instrument they used craving into his back—the way he wanted to die back then. Why live when his life was a cycle of pain? Without his family, he was utterly alone.

Suddenly, he saw Jivu notice Data walking towards them, and without another word, she vanished. She desired him to break and reveal all that lay buried deep within his heart. Biting his bottom lip, the viper reached into his pocket, pulling out an antidote. Whatever she used was probably the same substance they had used on him years ago. Taking a deep breath, he tried to act naturally, yet his body betrayed him. His legs felt weak, and just as he was about to fall forward, he felt warm arms wrap around his body.

Hiroto muttered "Data..." as he observed the concerned expression on the brunet face. He had probably seen something was up and tried to approach calmly. The last thing they wanted was to cause a disruption.

'Hiroto, let's get you home..' whispered Data as he allowed the Viper to lean on him. He was so much smaller, yet he carried so much more than a normal person did. It broke Hiroto's heart how often Data had pushed his own feelings to the side.

They had barely made it into the house before Hiroto laid his head against the brunet chest, arms wrapping around the other waist before tears started to fall. It was rare that Hiroto allowed himself to cry; in fact, it had been many years since he had..not since that night in the cellar. For a time, he believed it was a weakness to show such emotions. It was only something a person could use against him.

"I...I can't lose you too. I know that I am nothing and that there are so many others that would be a better fit for you. I carry too much baggage, and you already have enough on your plate. I didn't want to worry you, but people from my past are starting to come back. They want me dead—or to suffer more. It doesn't matter. I just...if I tell you everything, I don't want to scare you away." Hiroto muttered as sobs escaped his lips.

Slowly, Hiroto reached up and unbutton his shirt, letting it fall to the ground. Turning, he took a deep breath. This was something he had never shown to a single soul; it was a lot, and either it would disgust the other or make them run in fear.

"I told you a bit about my past—that I was treated badly by the people I was sent to live with—but I never showed you to what extent. No matter how much magic is used, the scars will never heal. There are times when they burn horribly. The other night, when we were kissing and I suddenly ran, it wasn't because I hated it. Quite the opposite. Feeling your lips against mine was bliss. I just didn't want to scare you away. I come with a lot and have only scratched the surface at everything."

Hiroto closed his eyes as he felt the brunet fingers gently reach and trace a few of the scars. It wasn't painful, yet it wasn't a side that the viper wanted to show him. There was so much he had to explain, and yet the tears wouldn't stop falling.

"Please say something," cried Hiroto as his shoulders shook. His entire body felt heavy as all the emotions were pressing against his chest.

Don't leave me…

#— ❛❛ // HIROTO CAELUM ¦ Painful past and shattered Hearts yet a light burning within ・「 Threads」#— ❛❛ // DATA MOCHI ¦ Sunlight in the darkness you never gave up on me・「diademreigned」#— ❛❛ // HIROTO CALEUM & DATA MOCHI¦DYNAMIC・「I swear I’ll be yours forever my beloved 」#ooc: I give you feels;;; first time he is showing Data his back scars too #I hope this is okay.

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deepseamuse · 3 months

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Okay so I should probably talk about Seraph and Azazel, since I posted a bunch of incorrect quotes

First of all: these two don't even actually meet, they live in completely different countries. But I like pairing them together bc of their backstories + contrasting personalities, particularly while Seraph is still also a child. (Also, I think them, Vivian, Emrys and a fifth OC that I've drawn but not named would make for a really cute- albeit chaotic- friend group. At the very least, Vivian would love all these supernatural friends.)

Azazel starts out as probably my most unfortunate child yet. Possibly even worse than Vivian's childhood, surprisingly. He's an orphan (or possibly abandoned by his parents; he certainly doesn't know) forced to live on the streets and scrounge for what food and shelter he can. Being an albino child living alone in a very superstitious village means pretty much no one in the village wants anything to do with him; many of them think he's some sort of ghost, and people don't appreciate him stealing food, even though it's only because he needs it. Some of them, particularly merchants he tries to steal from or a few meaner children, even attack him. One winter night goes especially badly for him, and as he lays in the snow, bleeding and certain that he's going to die after an attempt to get some food from the marketplace went horribly wrong, he comes face to face with a demon.

The dark figure offers to grant whatever wish the boy desires... and of course, he's rather desperate for survival at this point. Once he's told that it doesn't matter that he thinks he has nothing to offer, he immediately accepts the deal, asking for a safe home where he would always have food and someone to take care of him. He doesn't even consider the price- it's not as though he knows what a soul is, or how it'll affect him to lose it. And honestly, he gets a pretty nice deal; the demon creates a mansion in the nearby forest for him to live in and basically acts as a father figure, even being the one to give him the name Azazel and teaching him magic.

Just, you know. Ignore the fact that he seems a bit more like a doll or a corpse than a normal child, now, and in the years since making the deal he hasn't aged a day. And all the rumors about a ghost in the woods that kills people and takes their souls, and the fact that he's become eerily violent, cruel, and devoted to his "Father"...

Seraph, on the other hand, is a Starchild: an alien being made of metal, stardust, and magic, whose origins are mostly unknown, but they have all arrived on the planet from meteorites. They never age and are perpetually childlike, but are capable of changing the shape of their bodies to whatever they want, as long as it takes up the same amount of stardust that their body already has. Perhaps most importantly is their sheer magic power; Starchildren have a unique type of magic capable of summoning meteors, plasma, all sorts of magic related to the stars, and even tiny black holes. Unsurprisingly, this is all extremely dangerous, and Starchildren being able to to do these things as naturally as breathing means they're considered a terrible threat. Especially since their not exactly solid bodies are nearly impossible to kill, requiring the destruction of the metal core that keeps their bodies from coming apart or dissipating. The kingdom Seraph lives in has feared their kind for thousands of years, with legends of heroes slaying Starchildren that brought destruction and the royals have a force trained especially to deal with them. (No one understands that these are actual children, not just looking like them- Starchildren certainly aren't born able to speak any human language, and their use of magic as a way to play with the world they've just been born in causes a lot of damage) Now, with all that context out of the way...

Despite all the fear surrounding their kind, Seraph was actually taken in and raised by a young woman named Elise, who found them shortly after the meteorite they were in crashed into the ground and actually recognized them for the child they were. They actually had a very pleasant childhood, though for obvious reasons they had to keep their identity as a Starchild secret and didn't have many opportunities to leave their cottage. The one time they did so on their own, wanting to check out a festival being held in the nearby town, ended up bringing disaster; rumors of a strange, glowing child eventually reached the ears of those who knew what it meant and wanted them destroyed, and while they failed, this attempt on Seraph's life caused the death of their adoptive mother and the destruction of the entire town. (This was actually why they failed. Seraph was so furious upon seeing their mother die that they lost control of their magic, leaving nothing else in the vicinity but a massive crater and a land where nothing could grow.)

After this tragedy, Seraph wanted revenge on the people responsible, and frankly on everyone in the kingdom for all the fear and hate that Starchildren received from them. Their plan to do so was very childish, meaning to act as a hero and gain the trust of everyone, eventually being invited to the castle by the royal family, then betraying them and taking the throne for themself to truly start their revenge. But, well, they're a Starchild. It's not like ordinary people can exactly stop them. Though, the farther they get into their revenge scheme, the more they are consumed by their hatred, and the more dangerous and erratic they become... once they've achieved their goals and taken the throne, they quickly become known as the Mad King, and for good reason.

#original character #oc backstory

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northropi · 1 year

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Speaking of unqualified ranting about Diapsids, uhhhh let's talk about the tropes surrounding reptilian species in fantasy and stuff.

Reptile intelligence= Dumb? Nope. To keep one hand behind my back here, I won't include any archosaurs, even though I probably should- Monitors and Tegus are both very smart.

Reptile intelligence= Cold, uncompassionate? Nah. Again, even many Lepidosaurs exhibit a pretty significant degree of parental care, and can develop trust for handlers. The ones that don't are normally the little guys low on the food chain, r-spawners, and, look, if you're gonna go there, i can bring rodents and lagomorphs into this for a more even comparison. Hamsters will wipe a generation because they got spooked, this isn't a "reptile thing."

However, it is reasonable to say that their brains work different from a similarly intelligent mammal. What do I think that difference is? So far as I can tell, they seem to rely on a lot of quick, impulsive triggers in decision-making.

Birds get hit by planes because, while quite intelligent, they fail to recognize objects moving above a certain speed as collision hazards.

Crocs in zoo pits will sometimes bite and even deathroll each other in feeding frenzies (which also is a reason you probably shouldn't put that many in a small dirty pond) because a limb landed in their mouth after they saw food fly by and that set them off.

Snakes and vertebrate-eating lizards require a degree of caution when interacting with their enclosure because they anticipate anything that enters their space to be food, and without the measures to prevent an undesired feeding response (many of which, like target training, further solidify that this isn't an intelligence issue or that they just want to eat people), you're likely to get bitten- even if they're lovely during normal interaction.

Basically how I think this should be integrated into fantasy species- and how I have integrated it into fantasy species, a lot of this was applied to the old Pterosaur lore (and I am tempted to find a way to keep it around, somehow)- is that while they're not just cruel or dumb or anything, coming in screaming and waving your hand in front of one or tapping their shoulder is a good way to get bitten, because they just go on autopilot. You hit a trigger that makes things seem urgent and they just jump at it- and likewise, a lot of things also don't register. The mammal-brain world and its people are hard to understand, stressful, and a bit of a ticking time bomb because your flight-or-fight-or-feed response subverts your actual thinking response.

Layer this on top of other reptilian quirks. While many are meso/endothermic, they tend to enjoy sources of external heat, iirc this is even a thing in birds. Reptilian facial soft tissue doesn't afford much room to expression, so they're a bit more dependent on body language- this even translates to the extremely humanoid forms, which tend to have an intermediate between mammalian and diapsid foramina patterns and in turn have less mobile lips and cheeks. Their skin, being covered in either hard scalation or feathers, tends to snag at conventional woven fabric, and so they really, really hate the stuff. And, back to the lip thing I guess, a lot of their speaking ability is in the throat rather than the mouth, so their movements during speech are unusual and they often sound a little off, almost muffled.

like idk, i think this is just an interesting direction to take what is normally "mammalian writer slanders lizards again," and it's fun making a character with these traits contrasting them from mammals, humans included.

#yes this is an allegory for autism #it is not the only one #also having a friend who accidentally bites you if startled sounds cute

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radiant-reid · 2 years

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hey cate!! just wanted to say that i appreciate you so much and i love your writing so much!!

also for the writing challenge here is a suggestion:

🥥 or 🌴 with🦖 and “did you just — “ “no.“ “i'm pretty sure you did.“ “nope.”

celebrate 5k friends with us thank you so much !!

🌴 fwb to lover (i went with this because there are lots of requests for enemies to lovers) 🦖 forced proximity “did you just — “ “no.“ “i'm pretty sure you did.“ “nope.”

CW: slightly nsfw

Being sent on the jet with Spencer across Texas to investigate what looked like a connected crime felt as close to a personal win as you could get during serial double murder cases. The team wasn't looming over you, scrutinizing every move you two made and trying to figure out if you were finally together. It was an hour each way for you and Spencer to destress in the best way you knew how.

You had been on the couch, naturally, the most comfortable place to do anything that required anything vigorous. But as soon as it, as incredible as it was, was over, you felt yourself falling asleep, laying on his chest with your head on his shoulder. He was warm, and he'd always brought you more comfort than you cared to admit.

Spencer watched your face, knowing your eyes were closed, and you wouldn't think him weird for his admiration. Everyone looked pretty when they slept, he convinced himself, and he was your friend: it was a normal thing to think.

You could feel his eyes on you, and you reached out to try to force his eyelids closed. "Y'need sleep. Haven't in days."

He chuckled, his chest vibrating as he did so. "I will." He promised although it might be another promise he broke. Because he definitely broke his vow to not fall in love with you.

"Mm. I love you." You mumbled, tensing on top of him when the three syllables slipped past your lips. Your stomach completly dropped. It was too easy at that moment, with the afternoon sun coming through the windows while you felt all warm. And it felt nice to say, almost natural.

From that, he knew you knew what you'd said. "Did you just-"

That was not a conversation you were ready for, maybe not ever. "No."

"I'm pretty sure you did." He smugly stated, and you couldn't see it, but he was smirking. All you were thinking about was the teasing it was going to bring. Lighthearted jokes that would crush you just enough each time that you'd lose all confidence to ever tell him.

"Nope." You replied, shaking your head against his chest, not risking looking up at him when you could take the rejection without those pretty hazel eyes watching your expression.

It wasn't going to work for Spencer, and he placed a finger under your chin so you were forced to look at him. Still, you kept your eyes shut, making him chuckle again in a way that wasn't cruel. "Look at me." He requested, softly adding, "Please."

So you did, slowly blinking your eyes open and noticing how close your faces were. It hadn't been uncomfortable until now. "Can we just pretend-"

"No." He firmly stated, shaking his head. "I'm finished with pretending that I don't... feel... things about you."

"What are you saying?" You asked cautiously and slowly.

You could feel his chest rise more than usual like he was taking a deep breath. "I love you." He said as simply as possible.

"I- well, you already know that." You sheepishly told him.

"Can you say it again?" Spencer requested, smirking a little. When you shook your head, he had something else to say. "You were mumbling, that's not fair."

That was how you'd fallen in love with him so quickly, the goofy side that not many people saw. "I love you."

Spencer grinned at hearing that, leaning down slightly so he could kiss you differently than he was just 10 minutes ago. This kiss was full of passion, as usual, but much more love out in the open.

#cate's 5k celebration #spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x you #spencer reid blurb #criminal minds fandom

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timid-orchid · 3 years

Text

Captive Part 5/?

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x Reader

Summary: Kidnapped and experimented on by Umbrella, the only thing you wanted so desperately was to finally be free.

Warnings: typical RE stuff, zombies, human experiments

Word Count: 3,085

You hesitantly went into Barlowe's office the next day, noticing you were the only one in the room, you sighed as your heart stopped its fierce beating against your chest and slowed to its normal pace.

The man put you on edge, especially since you saw that...gleaming look in his eyes as he shot you, as if he thought the whole thing was amusing.

You weren’t new to the world, having lived long enough to see your fair share of cruel people, but you’ve never met someone who took it to that level before. People usually have a reason to hurt others, either for money, sex, power, or whatever else they desire at the time.

But Barlowe?

What else could he want other than to hurt you?

He already found out you were immune, how the infected and Lickers would react to you, so what else did he want other than to have you as his own little plaything?

"...0377?"

You pondered over what the next course of action would be to finally escape, if only you could get to the front door as the guard's shift changed, that would give you approximately forty-five seconds to haul ass out of there.

"0377?"

Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you glanced over at Barlowe, realizing that you didn't even sit down, you were standing close to the door, consumed by your thoughts.

"0377, are you alright?" Barlowe questioned, you could see his fingers inching to that damned clipboard of his.

"As right as rain." You mumbled as you walked over to the chair, sitting so you could face him.

"Are you sure?"

If you didn’t know better, you could’ve sworn he sounded like he cared about your well-being.

But unfortunately, you did know better.

"Of course I'm not fucking alright!" You snapped as you threw your hands up, "how the hell am I supposed to be alright when I have to get experimented on all the time, then sent off to my cold, dark cell to fucking sleep on the freezing, hard floor, only to wake up and do it all again?"

Barlowe's eyes widened as he halted, his eyes flicking from you to the clipboard, and then back at you like he was unsure if he should be writing what you say down or not.

"How am I supposed to even know if my body is alright after all the shit you injected into me? So, no. Dr. Dipshit, I am most definitely not fucking alright."

He hesitated, taking the time to pick up his clipboard, "do you feel unbearably hungry?"

‘Of course he would treat this as a ‘symptom’ of being infected, I don’t know why I expected anything different.’

“I feel unbearably trapped.”

"I cannot afford to let you leave here," Barlowe sighed, rubbing his forehead, "you are a rare breed, 0377."

"Breed?" You scoffed as you stood, "you don't even see me as a human, do you?!"

"I see you as the key to my success!" He retorted, slamming his fist on his desk, making you jump.

"It would be easier for you to work with me, not against me."

"So, you want to be known as an amazing scientist that got to study some fucking freak of nature?"

"Precisely, and until then, I require your full cooperation until the day you die." He gave you a pointed look. "Now, Mr. James is waiting for us."

'So he does desire something, he wants to be one of the special scientists that other scientists--old and new--would look up to him in admiration.'

You balled your hands into fists at your sides as you tried to calm your breathing, not wanting to let him get to you.

"Your displays of anger will be noted." Barlowe grabbed his clipboard.

‘That fucking does it.’

A pressure in your head finally popped as you grabbed the chair you always sat in and threw it across the room, breaking beakers full of strange colored liquid.

"You can add that to your fucking notes." You turned, walking to the door.

"I can assure you that it most definitely will be noted." He grumbled, following behind you.

_____________________________________________________________

Time crawled at an agonizingly slow pace, everyday filled with ‘experiments’ to find the limits to your body’s healing abilities. Barlowe would send you to Mr. James, an interrogation officer for the facility, who would torture you until you weren’t able to walk anymore.

There were a few times where you were sure you’d die; the pain became too much to bear, but Barlowe would have Mr. James stop before he killed you.

“I noticed that your healing slows down after healing yourself so many times,” Barlowe began, pointing at a white board that had tally marks counting how many times you were tortured. He had written ‘starts to decrease after eleven injuries’ next to the eleventh tally.

“If we continue to do this everyday for…I don’t even know how long, just think about how many injuries you could sustain before your healing declined?!” Barlowe sounded like he just reached nirvana. “If we can get your tolerance up after a year of honing your ability…I can’t even comprehend it.”

He grabbed his clipboard, going over all the notes he had taken of you since you arrived to this hell on earth. His eyes furiously read over the words, then going back to the beginning and reading them again, making sure he didn't miss any detail.

‘What the hell is wrong with this man?’

You stared at him in bewilderment, wondering how someone could be so excited when talking about such a dark topic. He really was planning on experimenting on you until the day you died.

You had to escape, soon.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Barlowe kept his word on torturing you every day, his eyes lit up every time your healing had begun to slow down, he was practically foaming at the mouth as he wrote down every miniscule detail about what was happening to your body and how your body reacted.

You weren’t conscious for everything you were subjected to, the more painful ‘experiments’ were too excruciating that you would pass out, only to wake up to Barlowe’s disgustingly joyful face.

The damage to your body may be physically healed after each session, but you felt it in other ways.

You found it difficult to wake up, always feeling like you’d fall asleep while walking to Barlowe’s office. Your throat was scratchy and sore from all the screaming and begging for them to stop hurting you, but they never did.

Eyes sore and stinging from crying so hard, your muscles and bones were begging for a break, aching with every step you were forced to take. Headaches were a constant for you now, just the cherry on top of the already fucked up cake.

You didn’t even have the energy to back talk Barlowe anymore, you were completely exhausted.

One day when Thomas arrived at your cell to take you to Barlowe, he’d call your name, but you didn’t respond, opting to stare at the cracks in the ceiling. He sighed and carried you to Barlowe anyway, not wanting to get in trouble.

He sat you down in your usual chair, letting your head slump back so you could look at the ceiling again.

“The doc will be comin’ soon, 0377.” Thomas gave you a sad look, he’s been showing more and more emotion these days.

You sadly didn’t have to wait very long until Barlowe arrived.

“0377, how are you today?” He inquired.

You didn’t answer or take your eyes off the ceiling.

“I hope you’re in a good mood today, because it’s definitely going to be a long one.” He continued despite you not speaking, “I want to see how three hours of flogging affects your healing.”

‘Flogging? Seriously? What century are we in?’

He paused, you could see him in your peripheral vision, he had looked over at you, wondering if you were going to sass him. You knew he wasn’t used to you being quiet, you always had something to say.

“I’ll have Thomas carry you to Mr. James.” Barlowe nodded as if you had agreed with what he was saying.

After the three hours of being whipped over and over, Barlowe had Mr. James do some ‘light’ torture methods on you.

You were laying on the floor in a pool of your own blood, eyes slowly dragging over the cracks in the ceiling, avoiding the bright fluorescents that would leave long black lines in your vision.

“0377?” Barlowe hovered over you, “I think we should hold off on next session; your body isn’t healing anymore.”

‘I wonder why.’

“I’ll let you rest in your cell for the next week. Thomas is going to be gone and I don’t want to train a new guard in such short notice.”

‘Thomas will be gone?’

As far as you knew, Thomas, Barlowe, and now Mr. James were the only ones who knew about your immunity to the viruses you were injected with as well as your regenerative capability.

Barlowe probably didn’t want that information getting out, it would put a target on your back as well as Barlowe’s.

He seems like the type to get angry if he had competition, if another scientist found someone with the same ability as you, or if someone stole you from him.

“Make sure to rest, 0377. Although, it’s not like you could go anywhere to strain yourself while your body tries to recover.” Barlowe laughed, stepping aside to let Thomas carry you back to your cell.

“Thomas…” You croaked, throat still so sore.

“Yea?” He craned his neck to look over his shoulder at you, he was giving you another piggyback ride so your back could heal.

“Where…are you…going?”

“Ya heard ‘bout that, huh?”

You nodded in response.

He faced forward again so he could watch where he was going.

“My little sis’s birthday is comin’ up, ya see, n’ I’m gonna leave tomorrow so I can drive down there.”

“You’ll be gone…for the whole week?”

He nodded. “Yea, not everyday that ya little sis turns thirteen, ma wants to go all out.”

“Don’t…come back.”

He slowed to a stop, frowning. “Now what ya mean by that?”

“There won’t…be anything to…come back to.”

His eyes widened, understanding what you meant.

“Yer gonna try to escape?”

“I’m going to try and…burn this horrible place to the…ground.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thomas made sure to visit your cell the next day before he left, something had been weighing on your mind ever since you met him.

“Hey Thomas,” you began, “do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”

“I’ll only tell ya one time, so listen up: it’s eight inches, I don’t care what anybody says—”

“No, please, n—not that.” You covered your face with your hands, cheeks heating up at his confession.

“Oh, well, ain’t that embarrassin’.”

“I was going to ask you why you decided to work in a place like this.”

His face lit up for a moment, “now that, I can tell ya, little’n. Skootch on over.”

You made room for Thomas to sit next to you, waiting patiently for him to cure you of your curiosity.

“Well, hell. I don’t have an idea—I see that look on yer face, 0377. Don’t sass me.”

You snorted, “just start at the reason why you had applied here.”

His face quickly fell, shoulders slouching as he revisited the memories that so obviously haunted him.

“Ya remember yesterday when I said my ma was wantin’ to celebrate my sis’ thirteenth birthday for the whole week?”

You nodded as your stomach tightened at his somber tone.

“I’m sure ya know that celebratin’ a birthday for that long ain’t considered normal.”

He inhaled deeply, letting out his breath before continuing.

“My pa wasn’t a good man to my ma. He’d…abuse her in ways that remind me of what Barlowe n’ Mr. James do to ya, n’ it’s hard to watch that ‘cause it…makes me remember…”

“One day, ma got beat bloody, black, and blue. So, my pa threw her, me, n’ my sis—who was three at the time—into his shitty pickup n’ drove like a bat outta hell to the hospital, only…we never made it to the hospital, not in his pickup, anyway.”

“Ma asked him to stop drivin’ so fast, which did nothin’ but piss him off more, so he started swervin’ in the lanes, makin’ us slide in our seats. I remember he was lookin’ at ma, tellin’ her to shut her trap, when we collided with an SUV.”

His bottom lip trembled, “the pickup was a three-seater: the driver, middle, n’ then the passenger seat. So, there wasn’t a backseat to strap my sis’ car seat into, so she was strapped into the passenger seat, while my ma sat in the middle, n’ I sat on her lap.”

Your eyes widened, gut clenching as you imagined what happened as he spoke.

“Pa didn’t get injured, we didn’t know if ma got an injury since she was already beaten so bad, I got some glass in my forehead from bustin’ it against the window, but my sis…” He paused and closed his eyes, “pa didn’t strap her car seat to the truck’s seat, so she went flyin’ like she was in a tornader.”

“The medics found her on the side of the highway, barely clingin’ to life. Ma was hysterical, she loved us so hard that if we had died, she would kill us.”

You smiled at that; his mom sounded like an absolute sweetheart.

“They drove my sis to the hospital in the ambulance, n’ she had to stay hooked up to so many machines for half a year. But she eventually got better, that little’n is so goddamn stubborn, she reminds me of you.” He bumped you with his shoulder.

“As you can imagine, goin’ to a hospital half dead is expensive, n’ I’m talkin’ way past a measly hundred dollars. They charged ma two-hundred-n’-seventy-two thousand dollars, n’ just to add insult to injury, our health insurance wouldn’t cover it since it was technically our fault.”

“So, my pa left ma and me while my sis was still in the hospital. Ma worked three jobs for years after that, n’ still had time to take care of me and sis. I was ten at the time, so I helped out with chores, n’ once I turned eighteen, I got a job to help pay off the bill.”

“I hopped from job to job until I turned twenty-one, n’ was able to get my gun permit, then I saw how much this job paid n’ jumped at the opportunity.”

“So, you knew you would be a guard?” You inquired.

“Yea, though, I thought I’d be guardin’ researchers or scientists, not some fuckin’ lab created monsters. The things ya have to see, the things ya have to do…the things I’ve done…” He shook his head.

“It was too late by then. I’d seen one of them zombie fuckers, nearly shot it down ‘til Dr. Barlowe and Dr. Garcia came runnin’ after the damned thing. They was sayin’ somethin’ ‘bout ‘it’s part of their research n’ I can’t kill it.’ So, they had me shove it into that T-Room where I seen more of ‘em, I felt sick to my stomach after that.”

“That day, Barlowe sent me to Chief Abner, he’s the boss ‘round ‘ere, the one who was searchin’ for the missin’ keycard that one time in the cells, gettin' nice and frisky with the prisoners.”

“I had a bad feeling about that man, I didn’t want to be anywhere near him.” You muttered.

“Trust me, ya don’t,” Thomas snorted, “that man got me scared of him. Big, tall, n’ strong, definitely the type of man to be runnin’ things.”

“What did he say to you?”

“Told me how it was gonna be. Either I play nice n’ listen to my superiors, or the bastard would hunt my sis and ma for sport, makin’ me watch as he did so.”

“He told you that?” You asked as goosebumps littered your arms.

“Looked me right in the eyes as he said it.”

“But what if you wanted to quit because you moved or something?”

“I could’ve if I hadn’t seen any of the creatures they’d been experimentin’ with. Once ya see ‘em, either ya die or ya stuck ‘ere for life. They do allow us to visit family, but they keep a close watch on us.”

You looked at Thomas in a new light, there was a newfound respect between the both of you.

“Now, I best be gittin’ if ya goin’ to, well...ya know.” He winked, digging in his pocket and pulling out a slip of paper that had his phone number written on it.

“You’re hitting on me now?” You joked, wanting to lighten the mood in your small cell.

“What? Hell no, yer too scary to hit on.”

You irked your brow.

“Now, stop that right there, little’n.” He grimaced, “I feel like yer plannin’ my death with that look of yers. I gave ya my number to call after yer done with...ya know.”

He didn't want to say it what you were planning to do out loud, not wanting to take the chance that someone could overhear your conversation and report you before you had the chance to try anything.

You smiled at him, nodding in understanding. “Thanks, Thomas. Now go, your sister is waiting for her big brother to come home, and I’m sure your mom has missed having you around to help out with everything.”

“0377, I—”

“Please, no more of my stupid subject number.” You cut in, “call me Y/N.”

“Y/N,” he began, “I’m sorry ya ever had to end up in this place.”

You smiled at him. “You’re a good person, Thomas. I’m sorry for the things you were forced to do, nobody deserves that kind of cruelty.”

He sniffled as his lips trembled, “Damnit, Y/N. Ya gonna make a grown man cry.”

“Cry on your way home, then take care of your family, hold them close and remind them that you love them.”

“I will, thank ya, Y/N. Good luck on yer mission, I’m gonna root for ya as hard as I root for my football team at the stadium.” He clapped your shoulder. “Yer gonna have to visit sometime n' try my ma’s grilled steak n’ mashed tatters, it’s a southern delicacy.”

“I can’t wait to try it.”

A/N: Y/N's subject number was one of the first things that I wrote down, helping push the story toward a captured/prison-y tone, until it became what it is now. The number represents the month I started writing the story (03) combined with Leon's birth year (1977), and thus: 0377 was made.

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #leon s kennedy x reader #resident evil #leon scott kennedy #leon scott kennedy x reader

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maxemilianverstappen · 2 years

Note

Question! What’s your thoughts on CL? I really like your analysis (? if that’s even the right word) of Max and I would love to know what you think about Cha! Wether it be good or bad

(Apologies if you have already told what you think about him, I’m a pretty new follower)

Leaving my personal feelings side, Charles seems like he keeps himself under strict control. I am amazed at the way he stays put most of the times, because he must be putting himself under immense stress due to the high standard of performance he is holding himself to. And that requires an iron hold over his emotions. I don't think that's sth very good, but some people thrive under self inflicted stress.

He always looks very tense. I wonder how he unleashes it all, because tense and stressed people either have bruxism or need massage sessions regularly. Music must be helping him out a lot. Going by his Spotify playlists, he might be processing his negative feelings thru music and letting his mind wander and his heart experience the emotions freely only then.

He always has this "meh" expression and his joy rarely reaches his eyes. I know a bit of his past, of his loss and the responsibility he has to be feeling against the people he lost; so, it might also be one of the reasons of his constant expression of 😐 apart from it being one of his personality traits.

He is certainly very guarded. Even though he is having multilingual problems at times, he chooses his words very carefully. In my eyes, he is like a high profile white collar who only devulges into what's strictly professional. But his eyes tell a different story.

Look, it is so easy to portray him as an obsessive individual, for example. Or a high functioning chronically depressed individual. He is a mix of "I know I am very handsome and talented (more than anyone) and I deserve everything but I will play it cool." and "I will do everything in my power to get what I want while looking totally normal about the fixation and the bane of my life's existence." While everyone finds it so easy to write/headcanon Max as this cold and angry and brash guy, for me it is very easy to imagine Charles as the merciless and cruel one if I'd write sth like that.

That guy doesn't have a humble bone in his body even though most people think otherwise. If he wins the WDC, everyone will see that. While he would never act like a dick about it (because he is carefully maintaining his Ferrari royalty image) I don't think he will ever act free and more relaxed around his rival(s) like Max is doing now, either. (This is one of the reasons I am unable to look at Lestappen in the way most ppl do)

Also, I find it totally interesting how Charles is such a closed off, guarded, and seemingly touch averse person even though he seems to have a very loving and supportive family, meanwhile Max is a very affectionate, open, and handsy person even though he had spent most of his childhood and adolescence with that father of his.

#i answer things

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deleteddewewted · 3 years

Text

Incel!Shinsou Oneshot: "Why are you acting like that?”

To keep busy I just thought that a oneshot of Shinsou getting self conscious/needy would be cute since we already have his redemption arc rolling in. The next part of the Incel!Shinsou series (Part 3) will have him proving his worth at the Sports Festival. So in thinking of how he will prove himself to you I thought of how will all of those people affect him, especially you. ( This oneshot takes place pre changes, so Shinsou is still his disgusting self but he's figuring out how to woo a woman, especially of your caliber.)

Incel!Shinsou Series:

Part 1: Incel! Shinsou x F!Reader

Part 2: Incel! Shinsou x F!Reader

Incel!Shinsou Headcanons

"I know what you're doin' here. Made your intentions clear. Oh you, you terrible thing, you. Terrible thing, you. Terrible thing, you. Beautiful thing"

TW: Strong Language, Mild Sexism

People were never an obstacle when it came to the things Shinsou wanted. He’s aware that others would do anything for him if he played his cards right. The right words with the right question did wonders for him. So why the fuck couldn’t he have what he wanted when it came to you? You drove him up the wall with the kindness you showed him. He didn’t deserve it and you’re existence almost felt like a punishment from whatever deity that existed out there to make him suffer. You guys were suppose to be studying for your upcoming project that required a poster, a slide show, and one influential person that would help prove your projects point. You left him running circles within his own mind as to how you were so willing to challenge him. He wanted you to obey him not see through his bullshit. It wasn’t like you didn’t listen to him vent, or didn't give him attention, but he wanted to hold you under his control. To be the person you listened to.

In class you where both seated on the extreme ends of the room on opposite sides. You never realized this (you do), but his head would periodically turn towards your direction to look at you, to figure you out (liar). This time, you managed to catch him do it.

“What are you doing?” You asked plainly. You honestly didn’t care that he was staring, everyone does when you dress like you're attending an MCR concert in the middle of autumn.

“You look different....today.”

“Nice.” It was difficult to care. Shinsou was just some guy in your class that you had to deal with. Nothing special really....ok, maybe it wasn’t fully true. You didn’t really know him all that well or anything (Unless it was mocking and belittling everything you did, that was normal behavior for him so it wasn’t surprising to find out he was like that outside of campus.) but he wasn’t all that bad? If he cared for himself a bit more, hygiene wise he would be considered handsome or at least a competent human being (you weren't going to call him a man, men don't act this childish. At least the ones you knew.) Maybe then you would take his opinion seriously, but for now you’ll ignore his...interesting comments he's been throwing towards you today.

“It’s rude to ignore someone when their talking to you, you know?” The neutral face he had now possessed a frown and a furrow to his brows. You still couldn’t process how he took the time to make sure his hair stayed purple but didn’t care for his body odor. (This man dyes his hair purple yet cant bother to shower or use deodorant for once in his life.)

“I’m not ignoring you, I’m just not interested in anything you have to say.” With that you get up and take your things and leave. There was no point in wasting time on someone who couldn’t even look at you directly and had to also sneak glances at you. "Do I really look that unbearable?" you thought to yourself. In the end you didn’t care anymore, everyone was entitled to an opinion and the last thing you need is feeling self conscious because of your out of place classmate.

Shinsou was fuming. How the fuck did you just get up and leave his ass while he was trying to complement you. You should have been more appreciative that he was giving you his attention for once. A bitch like you wasn't even worth it so he doesn't understand why he even tried with you.

He never goes directly home after school but instead to the local theater. It was one of the few places where he could be around others and could genuinely be himself. It was weird, he didn't feel like himself when he was speaking with his "friends", friends that he's never spoken to verbally, never seen, and never would meet. He knew that he didn't deserve this, to have a safe haven when he acts like an ass, yet here he was.

"Good morning Shinsou! How are you? Are you ready for rehearsals? You did remember to read your lines, right?" Shinsou rolls his eyes at his theater mates antics. Monoma never seems to stop but he does know when to tone it down and when it comes to Shinsou he tones it down a bit. (Because Monoma is canonically considerate of others, look back the Sports Festival and the Joint Training Arc.)

"Im good man, yes i did read and memorized the script, dont worry about it." What an odd friendship, the most chaotic gentleman like man out the bunch with the quietist incel in the group. Shinsou should have seen it coming when he was adopted by Monoma but he's running on 2 to 4 hours of sleep so he doesn't really care.

Believe it or not Shinsou does take showers (only for theater) but very quickly and with no care (no shampoo or soap, fucking why man.) Theater means more to him and so making his character look the best they possible can was his first and foremost priority. He puts on his costume, gets to makeup (the minimum, because it's "gay" for him to wear makeup and since the world is unfair and cruel he has perfect skin for a greasy headed asshole.)

"Everyone get a move on! Kodai, Tsuburaba, and Awase! Go to stage left! Light techs, how's it up there?" One of the tech heads shouted out. Shinsou and Monoma got to their positions on the stage and the rehearsals began.

Love, the play was about love. Love that wasn't rejected but also not accepted. He didn't understand the concept fully. Was it romantic? Platonic? Familiar? Admiration? He loved his dad, but he mostly admired him. He worked long hours and middle resents him for not being there for him, yet he realizes that his dad works to give him the world, a home with all the things he wanted. He never had a mother so he never had parental or familiar, again his dad was there but he wanted a parent that would hold him when he came back from school everyday. He didn't have a girlfriend, so he doesn't know romantic. So far all of his characters where villains, or evil in some way. He was starting to get sick of them. Shinsou wanted something more, wanted to play a character that wasn't how everyone saw him as on his day to day life. He wanted a challenge, he wanted....affection. Just to show it. He wanted attraction. Just to abuse it. He wanted...love. To just...maybe...feel...enjoy...understand it.

"You terrible thing you. My love, you're so cold. You've left me hanging on every one of your words. You've made me loose my self, lose my self-control because of you!" He pours everything into his performance, his loneliness, his regrets, his experience. He's been told by his co-performers and directors that he has a great future in the arts, in theater. If he just took care of himself more he would be an amazing actor, not only incredibly talented but also attractive. He would have the world kneeling, bowing to him just from his words alone. He could have anything he wanted just because of his existence.

" You've made me do things i don't want to do...for you." Kodai stands there looking horrified. He's covered in blood, the blood of her lover, the one she left him for.

"No, i-i didn't-"

"YOU MADE ME-MADE DO THIS FOR YOU! You terrible, terrible, terrible thing! You beautiful thing, I've done this for you!...and you still cant and won't love me." He doesn't see Kodai anymore. It's not her face he sees, nor her voice that he hears.

Its you...its your voice. You. You looking back at him while he slowly lowered himself to kneel and crawl towards you. It's you who backs away from him as he starts to cry and hiccup.

"You wreck me, you made me. You leave me in your wake, please let me go!" He sees you and feels you grabbing his wrists back, pushing him into himself.

"Don't you ever let me go...."

You terrible beautiful thing, you.

And here we are again. This was a lot fun to write since it feels more concrete when it comes towards his personality and his full thought process. In many cases people like Shinsou just want attention or some sense of validation, which there is nothing wrong with wanting those things but it's more about the manner you go about it. You shouldn't pressure or force others to spend time with you, but there is always someone out there that will like to give you those things.

Tag list: @blossominglark

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faulty-writes · 4 years

Note

Hello! I'd like to order! Some headcanons please where Izuku, Nighteye and Mirio finally find their soulmate, but she is So. Damn. Creepy. She's not cruel or anything like that, but the reader has this super wide creepy-ass Cheshire cat perma-grin, and they don't know if her face is stuck like that or if she's just forcing it, but she smiles even in the absolute worst of situations - and it ain't reassuring. Even when she's sobbing hysterically, that creepy ass grin is still there.

Would you like fries with that? ( Yes lame joke, bear with me. I have no idea how good or bad this turned out. )

Izuku was a little startled if anything when he discovered you were his soulmate, but he knew it from the very moment he saw you. Which ironically enough was when Hitoshi Shinso decided to barge into Class 1-A and talk some smack. But, he hardly paid attention to what Shinso had to say because his eyes were too focused on you. Despite the fact, you were standing in the back of the General Studies crowd. You were unmistakable and he felt something inside him click, though he was a little concerned because of that odd grin you had.

At first, he thought it was due to your quirk, but he quickly dismissed that assumption. Considering he noticed you tended to laugh at other's pain and he almost lost it when you laughed at one of his injured friends. He tried to scold you but instead, ended up holding your hands and pleading with you to behave. Most of the time this tactic worked, though his friends still spoke ill of you. Izuku wasn’t afraid to continue to spend time with you, given you were strange. But so was he and he knew better than to judge others because of their quirks or personality.

Still, he was happy in your company. Despite that grin creeping him out at times, you also made his heart race whenever you were around. Especially when you were holding hands, he had even taken the opportunity to introduce you to his mother. She was a little...startled at first. But, found you to be otherwise charming though she was a little indifferent when Izuku revealed you were his soulmate. But in the end, it was Izuku’s decision who he wanted to spend his life with and he was more than grateful it was you.

You were a former classmate of Mirio’s and had been introduced to Sir Nighteye when Mirio dragged you to his agency one day. Sir Nighteye didn’t normally harbor surprised expressions, but even Mirio noticed the way his eyes widened when he saw you. He even went as far as to shake your hand and compliment that Cheshire cat grin you had. Finding it rather amusing considering he enjoyed humor. Even though you were significantly younger than him, he couldn’t deny he felt something when he saw you and made the choice to explore it.

Over time, he was beginning to find your grin odd. But, he didn’t verbally speak his opinion out loud. He did, however, express his anger the day you had laughed when Lemillion got hurt. He limped into the office, slightly disheveled and there were cuts across his body. Sir Nighteye was about to ask what happened and was prepared to call the hospital when your laughter broke out. The menacing glare he gave you was enough to shut you up and you quickly apologized. Somewhat thankful that Sir Nighteye knew you meant well.

Though you didn’t technically work for Sir Nighteye’s Agency, you spent a fair amount of alone time in his office and most knew they were required to knock before entering. Still, while Sir Nighteye wasn’t the most affectionate in public. Inside his office, he would often pull you into his lap while he did various paperwork and at times would engage you in cuddling. Something that you enjoyed, though you still held that same grin even as you ran your fingers through his hair. But, it was still a little annoying how his employees jumped when they saw you.

Mirio Togata had an impressive childhood. He met his best friend Tamaki, he fell in a river and got saved by a Pro Hero. But, the strongest memory he had was of a strange girl in his elementary class who was always smiling. This girl happened to be you and he recalled he had some type of attraction to you. He assumed it was nothing more than a crush. But, his assumption proved to be wrong when he happened to save you from bullying. Someone saw fit to make you cry and though Mirio was a little guy, he still took it upon himself to protect you. Though he recalls the way you kept smiling even through your tears.

It was a shame when people went their separate ways, he had lost touch with you when he entered middle school. But, he still held the memory of you in mind and every time he thought about you, his heart raced. Of course, he didn’t think for a second you’d come back into his life. Much less walk right into Sir Nighteye’s Agency and ask for him, guess being a popular hero pays off. Still, the moment he laid his eyes on you. An intense warmth flowed through him and he jumped at the chance to ask you out. He knew his feelings couldn’t be wrong, despite everyone else thinking he was nuts for asking someone with such a creepy personality out.

But, that never bothered him, after all. Everyone was different, you just happened to show it physically. But he did wonder if smiling that much hurt you, given he had grabbed your face and playfully poked your cheeks on occasion. That grin never faded, not even during something like a horror movie. He knew you had a preference to them, though it was strange you’d laugh at the bloodiest parts. He would end up burying his face in your chest during most of the movies, which you didn’t mind. Given Mirio was the kindest person you had met, his friends not so much. You knew they were rather scared of you, especially Tamaki. Still, it was comforting to know Mirio loved your creepiness.

#midoriya x reader #mirio x reader #sir nighteye x reader #bnha requests

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