#if he kills jim. I mean I know he’s a bastard but he *is* your future father in law

[bubblegum-gf]

"we should make dan kill more" :) Ok! :D

yayyy peace and love on planet earth

[bajuuuu]

Rewatching some favourite TOS episodes of mine. And this thing at the end of The return of the archons (s1,e22) stuck out to me. This whole episode is about how a computer can’t run a society even if programmed by a human. Because it’s missing something… innate… human. A “soul” Jim calls it.

The episode ends with Jim talking the computer into self destructing (as usual) stating that it has no creativity, that it’s killing the humans it’s designed to protect. This isn’t the only time Jim makes a computer realise that it is and never will be a human and is therefore lesser than the human which created it.

But after that. After they return to the ship Jim and Spock have the classic end of the episode conversation. “I prefer the concrete, the graspable, provable.” Spock says after Jim brings up the soul argument. “You’d make a splendid computer, mister Spock” Jim replies with a smile. He means it well. Spock raises an eyebrow at the remark and thanks his captain for the compliment. ”That is very kind of you captain.”

Kind. In the episode where a computer is talked into subordination, told that it is lesser than humans. It is kind of Jim to call Spock a computer. I can’t be the only one seeing this irony.

Do you think that any time Spock gets compared to a machine, he thinks back to this moment? Do you think that any time he is asked to do some computations instead of asking the computer (because said machine is unavailable) he compares himself to the machine he is substituting?

Spock gets called many quite ugly things throughout the series, some of them are reprimanded (the episode where an ensign is made to leave the bridge after not trusting Spock with a decision because he’s a Vulcan). Some go unnoticed or are ignored due to the episode plot being more important (The Galileo 5 where he has to constantly prove himself to be capable of doing his damn job even though he’s the superior officer). And then some are played off for a laugh, a joke and harmless little quarrel (any time Bones and Spock are on screen tbh).

There’s also The day of the dove. An episode where Scotty (influenced by an alien but still) tells Spock to “keep his Vulcan hands off of him. Just keep away. […] you green blooded half-breed”. Spock (also influenced by an alien) goes to punch Scotty in the face (which… fair) but the way Jim stops Spock (only Spock not Scotty who started the whole thing) from doing so is by yelling “you’re half human”. Which does the trick by the way. Later on he goes directly to Spock, lays his hands on his shoulders and asks him and no one else “Have we committed race hatred against the Klingons?” He asks Spock because at least unconsciously he knows that Spock is the one who would notice. Who would know.

I just wonder, how many times can you be called a pointy eared bastard, a devil, a computer, an alien before you start to believe it. Before you start changing yourself to be more human. To fit in. Because Spock does change throughout the seasons, he becomes more open, allows himself to be both human and Vulcan at the same time. And of course he does, he is surrounded by people! Of course it will rub off. Especially if these humans continuously tell you that you will never feel love (a very human emotion in Bonse’s opinion) because it isn’t written in your inheritance (The paradise syndrome).

He changes, I just wonder if it is for the better. Or if.. perhaps. The first thing he does after the 5 years on the Enterprise is go back to his home world and tries to purge himself of all emotion. To kill off this human thing in him that his friends tried to cherish.

Does this have a point? No? Not really? Just… thoughts.

[blue-rose-soul]

I was at a museum of natural history looking at deer & moose antler's today when I thought about your au where Lucifer is Alastors bio dad and how cool would be if the (lucifer & charlie) morningstar's calling card were antler horns? they usually hide them in their normal form & the fact that Alastor has his horns out is a subtle sign that he's one of them? even tho he doesn't know, anyway, hope you have a good day!

Hm, while I do really like the aesthetics of deer/moose antlers, I don't really want to change anything overmuch about any of the characters' designs for this AU. I personally think that Charlie's and Lucifer's horns work very well for them as they are.

I mean look at that. Beautiful.

I also love the irony that stags - Alastor's animal motif - are a symbol of Jesus Christ. Alastor's not a Christ-like figure by any means, but I like how it sets a divide between him and the Morningstars while still giving him a connection to a biblical figure. Because ultimately, he's not a proper part of their family. He's the bastard, the mistake. Lucifer pretty much looked down on Alastor from the get go, and even after learning that Alastor's his son he still does somewhat.

There's a world of difference between the life Alastor lived and the one Charlie did. He was mixed race in the era of Jim Crow laws, and grew up watching his poor black mother get pushed around and abused by the rich white men she worked for, until one of those men ultimately killed her. That same man took Alastor in out of a twisted sense of guilt, but pretty much treated Alastor like a servant. And Alastor was very aware that if his skin had been a little darker, that man would have just killed him too.

Charlie, on the other hand, grew up in a palace with two loving, if flawed, parents. While Lucifer fell short in a lot of ways, he provided her with anything and everything she could have wanted growing up. Decadent food, infinite toys, magical pets that served doubly as friends and protectors.

This is getting away from me a little. I'm very much not an authority on racism, but I know these sorts of things must affect the dynamic between Alastor and the rest of the Morningstars. While Lucifer and Charlie aren't human, their skin is very very very white. There's no way that didn't play into Alastor's reaction to Lucifer assuming he was the bellhop. As much as Alastor tries to lean into his identity as a demon, he still started as a human being and still has a human soul.

That is to say, even with the blood relation, Alastor is set apart from the Morningstars, and he feels that divide much more strongly than they do. He does have design elements in common with them - in fact, many elements of his design are downright satanic - but his design contrasts nicely against them too; the overtly red pallet, the always visible horns, the red sclera. That's actually part of what got me thinking about this AU in the first place. So I feel like the fact that their horns don't match really works well for this AU.

[layce2015]

Supernatural (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader)

Fallen Idols

Masterlist pt 1

Masterlist pt 2

*(y/n)'s POV*

"So, what's with this job?" Sam asked Dean as we drive down the long empty road. "Dude suffers a head-on collision in a parked car? I'd say that's worth checking out." Dean said. "Yeah, definitely, uh, but, uh, we got bigger problems, don't you think?" I asked Dean, curiously. "I'm sure the apocalypse'll still be there when we get back." Dean said and I shake my head.

"Right, yeah, but I mean, if—if the Colt is really out there somewhere—" Sam said but Dean shakes his head. "Hey, we've been looking for three weeks, we got bupkis." Dean said. "Okay. But Dean...I mean, if we're gonna—ice the Devil—" Sam said, a bit cautious, but Dean yells. "This is what we're doing! Okay? End of discussion."

Sam looks away and sighs. "It's just that this is our first real case, back at it together. You know, I, I think we oughta ease into it, put the training wheels back on." Dean said. "So you think I need training wheels." Sam said, questioning. "No, 'we'. 'We' need training wheels, you, me and (y/n). As a team. Okay?" Dean said and Sam nods. "Okay." he said.

"Man, I really want this to be a fresh start, you know? For all of us." Dean said and we all look at each other before Sam nods again. "Okay." Sam said.

Canton, Ohio

The boys and I, wearing suits, show our FBI badges to the sheriff once we enter his office. "Agents Bonham, Page and Copeland." Dean said and the sheriff shakes our hands. "Rick Carnegie. Good to know ya. So you're here on account of Cal Hawkins' death?" he asked us. "That's right." Sam said.

"Well, 'fraid you came a long way for nothing. We already booked the guy that did it." Rick said and the boys and I frown at each other. "I'm sorry; who do you think did it?" I asked him.

Rick takes us to the interview room and has us watching a video. "Cal? Is something wrong?" a guy asked as he comes up to Cal, only to see his head smashed into the windshield. "Oh my God, Cal. Cal!" the guy shouts, frantically, and the video cuts to static. Rick shakes his head, then switches off the TV and drops the remote on the table and turns to us.

"Sicko taped his own handiwork." Rick tells us and we give him a look of confusion. "I don't follow." Sam said. "It was Jim Grossman that killed Cal." Rick said. "Wait, what?" Dean asked. "Well, he was the only one on the scene for miles." Rick said. "They were best friends." I pointed out.

"Most violent crimes are committed by someone close to the victim." Rick said. "And how exactly did Jim slam Cal into a windshield with all the force of an eighty-mile-per-hour crash?" Dean asked him and Rick blinks. "Drugs, maybe?" he suggests, weakly, and Dean raises his eyebrows.

"Look, you know this ain't brain surgery! Whatever it looks like, that's what it usually is. It's simple." Rick said. "Simple. Right." I said, a bit of sarcasm in my voice, then I glance over at the boys. "Right. Um, if you don't mind, we'd like to speak to Jim Grossman anyway." Sam asked.

Later, Jim sits at a table, across from Sam, as Dean and I stand behind Sam. "I was in the house when it happened, I didn't even see it." Jim explains.  "For argument's sake, say we believe you." Dean said. "Why would you? The cops didn't." Jim grumbles. "Well we're not your typical cops." I said. "Please, just tell us what you saw." Sam pleads and Jim sighs before he speaks again.

"It's not what I saw, it's what I heard. Tires squealing, glass breaking." he said and he sighs again. "It was the car that did it." he said and I raise my eyebrows. "The car?" Sam asked, confused "I mean, I heard about the curse, but, I just thought it was a load of crap." Jim said.

"Curse, what do you—what do you mean, curse?" Dean asked. "The car. Little Bastard." Jim said and my jaw drops. "Li—Little Bastard? As in the Little Bastard?" I asked, astonished. "Wait, wait, wait, wait, uh, what's Little Bastard?" Sam asked as he turns to us. "It's James Dean's car. It's the one he was killed in." Dean said.

"Yeah, that's the one. Cal had been looking for it for years. I mean, hell, we both had. But he found it first." Jim said and Dean leans closer to Sam. "Oh, we are definitely checking this out." he whispers.

Dean walks around and inspects Little Bastard with awe, careful not to touch, and honestly I was admiring the car as well. The windshield was bloodstained and had a piece missing where Cal's head was. "So, what, this is, like, Christine?" Sam asked and Dean and I shake our heads.

"Christine is fiction. This—This is real." Dean said. "Okay. Enlighten me." Sam said and I roll my eyes. "Well after James Dean died, his mechanic bought the wreckage, and he fixed it up. And it repaid him by...Falling on him." I explained. "And Tony McHenry was killed when it locked up on the racetrack. I mean, death follows this car around like exhaust. Nobody touches it and comes away in one piece." Dean added and Sam hums at this.

"Then, in nineteen-seventy, it vanished off the back of a truck. Nobody's ever seen it since." I said and Sam nods as Dean continues to look at the car. "I'm telling you, guys, if this—if this car is Little Bastard, I will bet you dollars to donuts it's what killed the guy." Dean said.

"So how do we find out?" Sam asked. "Cal matched the VIN number, but the only real way to know is the engine number." Dean replied and Sam nods. "I'm guessing the engine number—?" Sam asked, trailing the on the question.  "On the engine. Yeah." I said then we take our jackets off and the boys had their sleeves rolled, all of us staring at Little Bastard with trepidation.

"You want me or (y/n) to do it?" Sam asked Dean. "No..No, no, I've—I've got it." Dean said then he starts to address Little Bastard. "Okay, baby. I'm not gonna hurt you, so...don't hurt me." he said and he lies down on a roller board with a pencil in his mouth, then rolls himself under the car.

He was under there for a bit and I could've sworn i heard the car shudder. Sam then kneels down to look at Dean. "Need a flashlight?" Sam asked him. "No. Don't...do anything, just go away." I hear Dean say, which he sounded a bit startled.

"You—uh, okay." Sam asked. "Don't speak. All right? In fact, don't even look at her, she might not like it." Dean said and Sam stands back up. He looks over at me and huffs out a breath while I shrug.

Then Dean slides out from under the car, exhaling deeply, then stands up quickly. He composes himself, then hands Sam the number. "Find out who owned it. Not just the last owner, you gotta take it all the way back to nineteen-fifty-five." Dean tells him. "That's a lot of research." Sam said to him. "Well, (y/n) can help you." Dean said and he walks away.

It took us a few hours, but Sam and I were able to track down the history of the car. Dean hadn't returned so I called him. "Hey, sweetheart." Dean answered. "Hey. Took us a while, but we traced all the car's previous owners." I said then I put him on speaker so Sam could hear.

"Any of 'em die bloody?" Dean asked. "Nope. In fact—" I said but then I heard the sound of someone playing pool. "Dean, are you in a bar?" I asked him. "No, I—I'm—I'm in a restaurant." Dean said then I hear a female voice say. "Here's your beer."

"Thanks." Dean said and Sam and I share a look, which made Sam smile a bit. "That happens to have a bar." Dean adds. "We've been working our asses off here." Sam said. "Hey, world's smallest violin, pal, I spent the afternoon up Christine's skirt. I needed a drink." Dean said. "Actually, you didn't." I said.

"Meaning?" Dean asked. "The car's first owner was a cardiologist in Philadelphia; drove it 'til he died in nineteen-seventy-two." Sam said. "So you're saying?" Dean asked. "That Porsche is not, nor has it ever been, James Dean's car. It's a fake Little Bastard." I said. 

"Well then what was it that killed the guy?" Dean asked. "Good question." Sam said as I scratch my head. 

The next day, the boys and I enter the home of a Mr Hill as we heard he was murdered. We entered the office area to see Rick and a forensic squad inside and Rick was giving orders. "I want you to use a, a fine-tooth comb. The evidence is here, we just gotta find it." Rick ordered.

"Heard you got another weird one." Dean said and Rick turns to us. "Uh, well, it's a—it's a little strange on the surface, I admit, but, uh...you know, once you—you look at the facts..." he stammers. "William Hill died from a gunshot wound to the head. No gun, no gunpowder, no bullet." Sam said as Rick looks at us, worried.

"Nope. Nothing strange about that." I said, shrugging, with sarcasm. "Well there's gotta be a reasonable explanation. There always is." Rick said. "Well what's your reasonable explanation?" Dean asked him. Rick looks around cautiously for a moment and whispers. "Professional killer."

"Come again?" Sam asked. "Well, CIA, NSA, one o' them trained assassins, like in Michael Clayton." Rick said and the boys and I gape at him. "Right." Dean said then he looks over at me and Sam. "You're welcome to look around, but—but these guys don't leave fingerprints." Rick tells us.

"Mind if we talk with the witness?" Sam asked him. "Be my guest. She's not making any sense! And she's not making any sense in Spanish either." Rick said and I nod, slowly. "Right." I said.

We walk out and see Consuela sitting on a wooden bench, wrapped in a blanket, talking to an officer and sobbing. "No puedo vivir aquí. Necesito mi familia. Me voy ahora. Me voy a la casa. No—me voy a la casa en El Salvador ahora." she cries to the officer as we walk up to her.

"Consuela Alvarez?" Dean asked. "Yes?" she asked as she raises her head to us. "FBI." Dean said as we show her our badges then the officers leave. "Now, uh, you said you saw something in the professor's house. Right? Something in the window?" Dean asked her.

"Estaba sacando la basura. Imiré por la ventana y vi al hombre que mató al Señor Hill!" She explains and Sam kneels in front of her. "Uh, Señora Alvarez. Cálmese, por favor. Uh—" Sam said the he looks at us, thinking. "Uh, díganos lo que vio?" He asked and Dean and I grin. "Nice." said Dean. "Freshman Spanish." Sam said, shrugging, then he turns back to Consuela.

"Era alto. Muy alto. Y llevaba el abrigo negro largo y tenía bigotes." She said and Sam glances between me, Dean and Consuela as he translates. "Okay, uh, a tall man, very tall. With a long black coat and a—" he said then he gestures at his chin. "A beard?" he asked and Consuela nods. "Beard." he said.

"Y un sombrero." Consuela adds. "Dude was wearing a sombrero?" Dean asked. "Uh, a hat, not a—a—" Sam said as he gestures near his head. "No, no, no, un sombrero alto." she said. "A tall hat?" Sam asked. "Oh, like a top hat." I said and Consuela nods. "Un sombrero alto." She said and she gestures above her head. "Muy alto!" she said.

"What, you mean like a—like a stovepipe hat." Dean said as he imitates her gesture. "Sí." she said. "Oh yeah, like Abraham Lincoln." I said and Sam shrugs while Consuela starts sobbing again. "Sí. El Presidente Lincoln." she said and the boys and I trade confused looks.

"Abraham Lincoln kill Mister Hill!" she cries and Dean hums. "S-so I go home now?" she asked us. "Uh, sí. Gracias." Sam said. "Gracias." Dean and I said and Sam turns and frowns at us as Consuela walks away.

The three of us sit at the table of our motel room, Sam on his laptop and Dean on a new laptop while I was flipping through John's journal. "Whoa." Dean said and Sam and I turn to him. "What?" we asked as Dean does something on his laptop then he picks it up and turns it around for me and Sam to see. "It's a freeze-frame from Jim Grossman's video." he said and Sam and I look at it and we see a chrome car wheel were a figure of a person in a red jacket was reflected off of it

"Am I crazy, or does that look like James Dean?" Dean asked. "Well, you're crazy, regardless, but yeah that looks like James Dean." I said and Dean glares at me and I give him a smile. "I love you." I said and he shakes his head. "Yeah, yeah..." he grumbles as he sets the laptop back in front of himself.

"So we got Abraham Lincoln, and James Dean?" Dean asked and Sam frowns. "Famous ghosts?" Dean asked. "Maybe." Sam said. "Well that's just silly." I said. "No, actually, uh, there is a ton of lore on famous ghosts. More than the, you know, not-famous kinds. I'm actually surprised we haven't run into one before." Sam said.

"Yeah, but now we got two of 'em? Two extremely pissed-off ghosts?" I said. "Who are apparently ganking their fans." Sam said. "What do you mean?" Dean asked as Sam reads off the webpage on his laptop  "Professor Hill was a Civil War nut. He dug Lincoln." Sam said. "And Cal must've been a James Dean freak. He spent seventeen years of his life tracking down the guy's car." Dean said and Sam raises his eyebrows, knowingly.

"So you're saying we've got two super-famous, super-pissed-off ghosts killing their...super-fans?" I asked and Sam shrugs. "That's what it looks like." Sam said. "Well, that is muchos loco." Dean grumbles and Sam grins. "Muy." Sam said and Dean and I look up. "Not muchos." Sam corrects Dean.

"Yeah, well, the big question is, what the hell are they doing here?" I asked. "Yeah. Ghosts usually haunt the places they live. I mean, I, I get Abraham Lincoln at the White House—" Sam said. "And James Dean at a race track, but...what the hell are they doing in Canton?" Dean asked and I shrug.

Later, Sam was working on his laptop while I brought a couple cans of soda for me and Dean and we were drinking from it when Sam stops typing and frowns. "You gotta be kidding me." Sam said. "What?" Dean and I asked and we walk over and read the screen. "Oh God." I muttered. "You gotta be kidding me." Dean said.

Sometime later, Dean, Sam and I walk through the wax museum, checking out the figures. Sam and I walk past John F. Kennedy and Richard Nixon, then I stop at Abraham Lincoln. Dean frowns at Gandhi. "Dude, he's short." Dean said as he gestures at Gandhi.

"Hey. Gandhi was a great man." Sam said. "Yeah, for a Smurf." Dean snarks just as the owner comes down the stairs at a half-jog, slightly out of breath. He is wearing a leather jacket.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, this is our busiest time of the year." he said and Dean looks around at the empty rooms. "This is busy?" he asked. "Well, not right now, but it's early." the owner said. "It's four-thirty." Dean points out and the owner ignores him.

"So, what can I do for you?" he asked. "Uh, well, we are writing a piece for Travel Magazine." Sam said. "Yeah, on how, uh, totally non-sucky wax museums are." Dean adds and I roll my eyes. "That's fantastic. A little press, just what we need." the owner said. "Great. Well we're interested in a few of your exhibits, specifically Abraham Lincoln and, uh, James Dean." I said. "Two of our most popular displays." the owner said.

"Oh yeah? So they bring in a lot of visitors?" Sam asked. "Yeah, we have our regulars." the owner replied. "I don't suppose that, uh, William Hill and Cal Hawkins were regulars, were they?" Dean. Asked and the owner nods. "As a matter of fact, they were. Yeah, I heard what happened to them. It's tragic, just tragic. Oh—you—that's not gonna be in the article, is it?" he asked us.

"No. No, no. 'Course not." Sam assures the owner. "You know, I gotta tell you, that—that Lincoln is so lifelike, I mean, you—I mean, you can just imagine him moving around. You ever see anything like that?" Dean asked and the owner frowns. "Uh...no." he said. "No?" Dean asked.

"Well, um, is there anything you could think of that would make your museum...unusual? You know, for the article?" I asked him. "Well, I'll say. There isn't another place like us, not anywhere." the owner replied. "How so?" Dean asked.

"Well, for one, that's Honest Abe's real hat." the owner said as he points to Lincoln. "It is?" I asked. "Almost like his remains." Dean mutters and looks pointedly at me and Sam. The owner frowns. "Uh...I guess?" he said and Dean grins.

"You wouldn't happen to have any of James Dean's personal effects, would you?" I asked the owner. "Ooh, yeah. Got his keychain. We got a bunch of stuff, uh, Gandhi's bifocals, FDR's iron lung. This." he said and he indicates the leather jacket he's wearing. 

"And who did that belong to?" Sam asked him. "The Fonz. Seasons two through four!" he said and he does a double thumbs-up, grinning. "That is pretty cool. You're lucky an old friend of mine isn't here with us. She'd be trying to buy that jacket off of you. Hugh Fonzie fan, she is." I said and the owner smiles.

"This? This is nothing. I've been working on a new collection of figures. Stuff that'll really wow the kids." He said. "The kids?" Dean asked. "Yeah, Gen Y." the owner said and Dean nods. "Computer games, cell phones, sexting." The owner said and I raise my eyebrows.

"They're just fads. I'm gonna make wax museums hip again." He said and he grins and gives his double thumbs-up again. Dean chuckles and Sam and I return the thumbs-up.

Sam opens the trunk of the Impala, and we take out a couple of shotguns and load them with shells of rock salt, then put the loaded shotgun back in and Sam closes the lid. We go back into our room and see Dean talking on his cell phone, facing away from the door.

"Yeah, Abraham Lincoln and James Dean, can you believe that? ...Why so kill-crazy? Ah, maybe the apocalypse has got 'em all hot and bothered. Yeah, well, we all know whose fault that is. ...Well I'm sorry, but it's true." Dean said and I sigh as Sam frowns then pushes the door shut, causing Dean to spin around.

"I'll call you later. Bye." he said into the phone and hangs up and turns to us. "What's going on?" I asked him, folding my arms. "Did you two get the trunk packed up?" he asked. "Yeah, trunk's packed. Who was on the phone?" Sam asked.  "Bobby." Dean said. "And?" I asked and Dean shakes his head.

"Nothing." Dean said and I roll my eyes and glare at him. "So we're just gonna pretend I didn't hear what I just heard?" Sam asked and Dean shrugs. "Pretend or don't pretend. Whatever floats your boat." Dean said. "This was supposed to be a fresh start, Dean." Sam said as Dean picks up his jacket.

"Well, this is about as fresh as it gets. Now are we going or not?" Dean said and I look over at Dean as he walks pass me. "Dean..." I said, warningly. He stares at me then goes to the door, opens it and leaves. Sam and I watch him go and Sam sighs.

"I'm sorry, Sam." I said. "No, it's fine..." he mutters and I place a hand on his shoulder. "All I can say is...just give him time...I know it sucks but...that's all I can say..." I said and I go to the door and open it, Sam follows close behind me as we leave.

We walk through the museum, past Gandhi. Dean approaches Lincoln and takes off his hat as Sam fetches a metal trash can and I look around the room. I turn around to find Dean wearing Lincoln's hat. "Check it out." he said then he lowers his voice, imitating Lincoln. "Four score and seven years ago, I had a funny hat." he said

"Dean." Sam said, exasperated, as he turns to him and I shake my head. Sam sighs and puts the trash can down, holding his hand out for the hat. "We can't have any fun with this?" Dean asked and he takes the hat off and tosses it into the trash can.

"Let's just torch the objects, torch the ghosts, get outta here. Okay?" I said and Dean nods. "I'll go grab East of Eden's keychain." he said and he walks into the next room. Sam and I scan the room. I look at Lincoln, then narrow my eyes and lean in closer. Then the double doors Dean went through slam shut, making me and Sam spin around.

"Dean?" Sam and I call out as we go over to the doors, shotgun in hand. "Dean?" we call out again as we try the door handles but the doors won't budge. Then I notice our breathes condensing in front of us and we spin around, shotgun held at the ready.

Sam and I look from Lincoln to Gandhi and back again as we creep forward slowly. Sam and I hear a creak to our left and we turn. The shotguns flies out of our hands. Defenseless, we stand still for a second then I see Gandhi leaping onto Sam's back.

"Sam!" I shouted as Gandhi wraps his arms around Sam's neck but Sam slams him into the wall and Gandhi falls off. "Go grab his glasses!" Sam shouts to me as Gandhi gets up and they circle around each other while I run to Gandhi's wax figure. 

I grab the glasses as Gandhi starts to strangle Sam and I run to the trash bin. At that moment, Dean bursts through the double doors. "Dean!" Sam said as I throw the glasses into the trash bin with the other items. "Is that Gandhi?" Dean asked. "Yeah!" Sam said. "Dude, he's squirrelly." Dean said as I squirt lighter fluid on them and finally light them on fire with a match. Gandhi disappears, and Sam gasps for air.

I run over to Sam and kneel down next to him, to check him over. "You okay?" I asked and he nods. "You couldn't have been a fan of someone cool?" Dean asked and Sam and I stare at him. "Really? Gandhi?" Dean asked and I shake my head.

Dean grabs his shirts out of a drawer and shoves them in his bag after we made our way back to the motel. "Ready to blow this joint?" Dean asked us as I pack up my stuff. Sam comes out of the bathroom, zipping up his toiletries bag. "Guys, didn't it strike you as strange the way Gandhi just...vanished?" Sam asked.

"Strange how?" Dean asked. "No screaming, no big flame-out, I mean, that isn't the way ghosts usually go." Sam said and I think this over. He's actually right, it was different. "Still, (y/n) torched, he vanished." Dean said. "Yeah, but I—" Sam sighs. "Also, I feel like he was...trying to take a bite out of me."

"A bite?" I asked, confused. "Yeah, like he was hungry. But the thing is, Gandhi—or, the real Gandhi—he was a—" Sam stops and looks a bit embarrassed. "A what?" Dean and I asked and Sam hesitates. "Spit it out." Dean said, annoyed. "He was a fruitarian." Sam said and we stare at him then Dean laughs.

"Let me get this straight. Your, uh, ultimate hero was not only a short man in diapers, but he was also a fruitarian?" Dean asked. "That's not the point." Sam said, exasperated. "That is good. That is—even for you, that is good." Dean said. "Look, I'm just saying, I'm not so sure this thing is over." Sam said and Dean spreads his arms. "It was a ghost. It was a weirdly super-charged fruitarian ghost, but it was still a ghost. Now let's go." Dean said as he picks up his bag.

"So first you drag me into town, and now you're dragging me back out." Sam said, annoyed. "You ain't steering this boat. Let's go, chop chop." Dean said and he walks towards the door. "You know, this isn't gonna work." Sam said and Dean stops and turns.

"What isn't?" Dean asked. "Us. You, me, (y/n), together, I—I thought it could, but it can't." Sam said and I frown at Sam. "You're the one that wanted back in, chief." Dean said. "And you're the one who called me back in." Sam argued. "I still think we got some trust building to do." said Dean and Sam sighs.

"How long am I gonna be on double-secret probation?" Sam asked and Dean shrugs. "Till I say so." Dean said and I scoff. "Dean..." I said, exasperated, then Sam speaks up again. "Look. I know what I did. What I've done. And I am trying to climb out of that hole, I am, but you're not making it any easier." he tells Dean.

"So what am I supposed to do, just let you off the hook?" Dean asked. "No. You can think whatever you want. I deserve it, and worse. Hell, you'll never punish me as much as I'm punishing myself, but the point is, if we're gonna be a team, you and I—it has to be a two-way street." Sam explains.

"So we just go back to the way we were before?" Dean asked, suspiciously. "No, because we were never that way before. Before didn't work." Sam said and Dean and I frown. "How do you think we got here?" Sam asked and Dean narrows his eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked. "Dean, one of the reasons I went off with Ruby...was to get away from you." Sam said and this caught me off guard. "What?" Dean said, just as shocked. "It made me feel strong. Like I wasn't your kid brother." Sam said.

"Are you saying this is my fault?" Dean asked. "No, it's my fault. All I'm saying is that, if we're gonna do this, we have to do it different, we can't just fall into the same rut." Sam said and Dean shakes his head. "What do you want me to do?" Dean asked. "You're gonna have to let me grow up, for starters." Sam said as Dean's cellphone rings. 

He stares at Sam, then puts his bag down and answers it. "Yeah?" he answered and he looks to Sam then away again. Sam and I share a look and I give him a look of pity and said, quietly. "I'm so sorry." Sam shakes his head. "It's ok. Don't be." He said while Dean continued to talk on the phone.

"Yeah. Yeah, okay." He said then he hangs up. "I guess you were right about this not being over." Dean said as he looks at Sam.

The boys and I, in suits, make our way back to the sheriff's office and see Rick sitting at his desk. "Sheriff Carnegie?" Sam said and he looks up at us. "Sheriff, what happened?" Dean asked and Rick looked stunned.

"I, uh, uh..." he stammers as he shrugs and shakes his head. "I don't know!" he said and he leads us to the interview room where two young women are sitting at the table, crying. We walk in. "Excuse us, girls. Hi, we're with the FBI." I said as we walk in. "Can you tell us what happened?" Sam asked them.

"It was horrible!" One girl said. "Way horrible." the other girl said. "What was horrible?" I asked them. "I thought she'd be nice!" the first girl said as her friend looks at her. "I still can't believe it." she said, distressed. 

"Believe what?" Dean asked them. "She took Danielle!" the second girl exclaims. "Who?" Dean asked and the girls look at each other. "It's okay, you're safe, just, tell us. Who took your friend?" Sam asked. "It was...Paris Hilton." The first girl said and the boys and I share a confused look.

"Sorry?" I asked them as I turn to them. "She looked really good, though." the second girl said. "Skinny!" the first girl adds. "Skinny and fast." said the second girl. "What—wait—huh?" Dean asked, completely confused.

"Uh, um...where did they go?" Sam asked them and the first girl shakes her head. "We don't know." the first girl said. "They just vanished." the second girl said. "Would you excuse us for just a minute?" Dean said to them and we walk back to the doorway and speak just above a whisper.

"Paris Hilton's not dead as far as we know, right?" Dean asked. "Pretty sure, no." Sam said. "Which means it's not a—" Dean said and I finish his sentence. "Ghost. No." I said.

"So, what? Paris Hilton is a homicidal maniac—" Dean asked. "Or we missed something." Sam said and I sigh. "What do you wanna do?" I asked them.

Now in blue scrubs, I was looking through Cal's file and read through the notes. I frown when I find something pretty odd. Minutes later, I pull out Cal's body from the freezer and use a scalpel to cut open Cal's chest, then push my gloved hand inside. There is a squelch and I close my eyes and breath out. "That's right." I groan, frowning. 

I pull my hand out, fingers covered in blood, and hold up two small round things. "What the hell?" I muttered, confused.

Back in my suit, I come out of the building to meet up with the boys, shaking my head and sigh. "I can't believe I missed it." I said as they stand up and walk with me back to the Impala. "Missed what?" Dean asked me. "Went back over the other two vics. There was blood loss. Major." I explained.  "Oh, well, being a gory smear will do that to you." Dean said, sarcastically. "No, I—I mean more blood loss than a—a car crash or a head wound should cause, almost like it—" I said. "Something's feeding." Sam said and I nod and point. "Exactly." I said.

"Awesome." Dean mutters. "And then—" i said as I take out a plastic bag. "There were these." I said and the boys look at the bag, which contains these two round seeds. Dean picks up the corner to inspect them closer, Sam leans in to inspect as well.

"What are those, seeds?" Sam asked me. "Yeah. They were in both vics' bellies." I said and Dean takes his hand off the bag quickly. "I hope you washed your hands." Dean said and I give him a seriously? look. Then I raise my hand and wipe my fingers across his face and he recoils at this. "Agh, damn it, (y/n)." Dean said and I laugh at him as Sam takes the bag to look at the seeds.

"They're unlike any seed I've ever seen before, Dean." Sam said as he looks at the bag. "Wow, just when I thought you couldn't get any geekier." Dean said then he pats Sam on the shoulder and gets into the Impala.

Back at the motel, Sam is on his laptop again, the seeds out of their bag and sitting on the table next to him. Dean and I were sitting on the bed using our own laptops. "Yahtzee." Sam said and we look over at him. "What?" Dean and I asked.

"The seeds aren't from around here. In fact, they're not from any tree or plant in the country." Sam said. "Where are they from?" Dean asked. "Eastern Europe. From a forest in the Balkans, which is not even there anymore. It was chopped down, like, thirty years ago." Sam explained.

"So?" Dean and I said. "So, local legend has it that the forest was guarded by a pagan god whose name was Leshi. Um, a mischievous god, could take on infinite forms—" Sam said. "And let me guess. He liked to munch on his fans." I said and Sam chuckles. "Yep. Could be appeased only with the blood from his worshippers. It would drain 'em, then stuff their stomachs with the seeds." he said and we get up and go over to Sam.

"So how's he doing it? What, he touches James Dean's keychain and then morphs into James Dean?" Dean asked. "Hm. It's as good a guess as any." Sam said. "Yeah, well, whatever. How do we kill him?" I asked. "Says here to chop off his head with an iron axe." Sam said and Dean nods. "All right. Let's go gank ourselves a Paris Hilton." I said

That night, we enter the museum, Dean carrying an axe and Sam and I with flashlights. We walk past the now hatless Abraham Lincoln wax model then we split up and search separate rooms. I come across a door with signs on it reading "Sorry for the inconvenience, CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS" and "DANGER DO NOT ENTER".

I whistle and Dean and Sam meet up with me. We break the latch and open the door, pushing through a plastic sheet to find a room decorated like a clearing in the woods, with a path leading up the middle to a white house with a wax figure of a man in a suit standing on the front porch.

I notice a young woman, who must be Danielle, standing next to a tree and tied by her wrists to it. "Hey." I said as I run over and check her pulse. "She alive?" Dean asked me. "Yeah. Barely." I said then the axe flies out of Dean's hand and embeds itself in a tree on the other side of the path.

Dean spins around to find Paris Hilton; this must be the Leshi. She grins and punches Dean multiple times in the face, sending him to the ground, then she punches Sam, knocking him down. She flips her hair as I lunge at her, but she shoves me and sends me flying across the room. I collide with the front wall of the house and fall to the ground, unconscious.

*3rd Person POV*

Dean shakes his head and looks up to see the Leshi standing over him. "Awesome." she said and she raises her stiletto-clad foot and stomps on Dean's face. 

Later, the Lezhi sits on a tree stump near the house with another tree stump serving as a table next to her. Laid on it are various knives; she picks one up and begins filing her nails, causing small sparks. Dean, (y/n) and Sam are tied to three trees side-by-side, in the same fashion as Danielle. They wake up one after the other and struggle for a second before they realize where they are.

"Oh. I'm so glad you're awake for this. This is gonna be huge." Leshi said as the trio look at each other. "Super. Yeah, I wouldn't wanna miss it." Dean said, sarcastically, as he pulls at his ropes discreetly. "I mean, I've been stuffing myself with fast food lately. So it's nice to do the ritual right. Prepare a nice, slow meal for a change." Leshi said.

"Just like the good old days, huh?" Sam asked and Leshi chuckles. "You have no idea. People adored me. They used to throw themselves at me, with smiles on their faces." she said. "Yeah, I guess these days nobody gives a flying crap about some backwoods forest god, huh?" (y/n) sneers and Leshi stops filing her nails with a threatening glare.

"No. Not since they cut down my forest and built a Yugo plant." she growls. "March of progress, sister." Dean said and Leshi files her nails a few more times. "For years now, I've been wandering. Hungry. Scared. Scrounging for scraps. So not sexy." she said as Dean makes a face.

"But then, the best thing ever happened." Leshi said then she puts the knife down. "Someone tripped the apocalypse. And I thought, what the hell, I'm tired of watching what I eat. I wanna pig out. So I found this little place. It's awesome. Adoring fans stroll right in the door." she said. "Yeah. But they're not your fans." Sam said.

"So? They worship Lincoln, Gandhi, Hilton...whatever. I'll take what I can get." Leshi said, shrugging. "You know, I gotta tell you, you are not the first god we've met, but you are...the nuttiest." (y/n) said and Leshi scoffs. "No, you, you people, you're the crazy ones. You used to worship gods. But this?" she said as she indicates her Paris Hilton disguise.

"This is what passes for idolatry? Celebrities? What have they got besides small dogs and spray tans?" she asked and Sam frowns while Dean and (y/n) raise their eyebrows, nodding. "You people used to have old-time religion. Now you have Us Weekly." Leshi said. "I don't know, I'm more of a Penthouse Forum man myself." Dean said as he winks then clicks his tongue at Leshi.

She gets up and stalks over to him. "Maybe, but...there's still a lot of yummy meat on those bones, boy." she said. "Well I hate to break it to you, sister, but, uh...you can't eat me. See, I'm not a Paris Hilton BFF. I've never even seen House of Wax." Dean said and Sam looks at Dean, frowning. 

cNo. But I can totally read your mind, Dean. I know who your hero is. Your daddy. Am I right?" Leshi asked and Dean doesn't reply. She smirks and walks over to the tree with the axe embedded in it.

When her back is turned, Dean and (y/n) pull at their ropes. "And this belonged to him. Didn't it? Poor little Dean. All you ever wanted was to be loved by your idol. One distant father figure, coming right up." Leshi said and she goes to touch the axe when Dean finally pulls his wrist free of the ropes. He sprints across the clearing and tackles the Leshi to the floor.

Sam pulls desperately at his ropes as the Leshi manages to kneel on top of Dean and punches him repeatedly in the face. (y/n) pulls free then tackles the Leshi and the two fight. Sam finally pulls free and dashes over the clearing. Dean gets up and throws the Leshi off of (y/n) as Sam pulls the axe from the tree.

Dean and (y/n) move away as Sam brings the axe down five times on the Leshi's neck. Her head rolls free of her body and Sam pants in exertion, his face covered in blood. Dean goes over to (y/n) and helps her up on her feet. As she gets on her feet, she starts to laugh at him and he holds up a finger while Sam grins.

"Not a word." Dean warns her. "Dude. You just got whaled on by Paris Hilton!" Sam said and Dean turns to him. "Shut up." he growls and (y/n) warps her arms around his middle. "Aww, my poor, big, strong man, getting beating up by a petite reality star." She said, in a mocking tone. Dean growls under his breath while Sam and (y/n) laughs.

​​*(y/n)'s POV*

The next morning, the boys and I, carrying our bags, walk to the Impala while Dean is talking on his cell phone. "Uh-huh. All right. Thank you." Dean said and he hangs up. "Sheriff Carnegie. Danielle's gonna be all right. She's sworn off The Simple Life, but other than that—" Dean said. "Glad she's okay." Sam said and I nod. "Me too." I said.

"It gets better. Sheriff's putting out an APB on Paris Hilton." Dean chuckles. "That oughta be good." I giggle as Dean takes out his keys and opens the trunk of the Impala and we put our bags inside. Then Dean turns to Sam.

"Hey, listen, I was thinking about what you said yesterday. About me keeping too tight of a leash on you." He said and Sam looks at him. "Hell, maybe you're right. I mean, look, I'm not exactly Mister Innocent in this whole mess either, you know. I did break the first seal." Dean said. "You didn't know." Sam said, trying to assure him. "Yeah, well, neither did you." Dean said and Sam looks down.

"I'm not saying demon blood was a great way to go, but, you did kill Lilith." Dean said to him. "And start the apocalypse." Sam said. "Which neither of us saw coming, I mean, who'd have thought killing Lilith would've been a bad thing?" I asked and the boys shrug as if to say good point.

"Point is, I was so worried about watching your every move that I didn't see what it was actually doing to you." Dean said as he looks over at Sam. "So, for that I'm sorry." he said and Sam nods. "Thanks." he said and Dean closes the trunk and takes the keys.

"So where do we go from here?" I asked them. "They way I see it, we got one shot at surviving this." Sam said. "What's that?" Dean asked. "Maybe I am on deck for the devil, maybe same with you and Michael, maybe same with (y/n) and Ariel, maybe there's no changing that." Sam said. "Well that's encouraging." Dean said. "But, we can stop wringing our hands over it. We gotta just grab onto whatever's in front of us, kick its ass, and go down fighting." Sam said and Dean considers this, then nods.

"I can get on board with that." he said and I nod. "Same here." I said and Sam nods. "Okay. But we're gonna have to do it on the same level." Sam said and Dean grins slightly. "You got it." he said and Sam nods again.

"I say we get the hell outta here." I said and Sam smiles. "Hell yeah." Sam said and we turn to go to their respective sides of the car, but Dean stops and looks down at the keys.

"Hey." Dean calls out and Sam turns around, then Dean holds out the keys. "You wanna drive?" he asked and Sam looks down at the keys. "You sure?" Sam asked him. "Yeah, I could, uh...I could use a nap." Dean said and Sam smiles a little and Dean hands him the keys.

Sam smiles and we get into the Impala and head out.

@rach5ive @kitsun369 @itzabbyxx @cevans-winchester @ellie-andthemachine

[albentelisa]

Hello!!! Jim here from the @theonceandfuturetrollhunter blog, but I'm making this text anonymous because Clotpole (who owns my blog) doesn't want the reply back- I'll have to search for it instead 😂😒

Anyway, we love your headcanons and the AUs you create with adks back here in Arcadia- Claire is obsessed with reading them- and we wanted to know how you wpould take to this AU...

What if mine and Claire's roles were swapped over (me being the wizard and Claire being the Trollhunter) but we found out about our respective roles at the times we did in the show (me first, then Claire)?

Can't wait for the reply!!!!

:)

Hi, Jim:)

This ask is something I really like, so I've put it up my queue of asks (there are more than thirty of those in my inbox, holy trolls!).

Anyway, to the AU.

So, in this AU Kanjigar manages to escape during his battle with Bular, so Jim and Toby pass through the canals as usual, with nothing happening. Toby sees that his bro is slightly disappointed that it's just a regular day and suggests investigating the stone monsters Eli mentioned. Obviously, Toby doesn't believe in any supernatural creatures, thinking those are just another one of Eli's delusions, but he thinks Jim needs some fun (and a minor adventure is better than no adventure at all).

It turns out to be a horrible mistake as Bular is pissed because of his failure and is actively looking for a consolation snack. Jim and Toby look like a wonderful meal for him. Bular nearly catches Toby - and it's when Jim awakes his shadow magic, firstly blasting and injuring Bular and then teleporting Toby and himself to the safe location. Jim collapses afterward as he has pushed past his limits.

The next morning, Toby is excited, but Jim is conflicted as he isn't sure it's the kind of adventure he wants. Besides, his newfound magic keeps acting on its own, complicating his life.

Jim comes to Strickler to talk about his issue, but chickens at the last second and tells some lie. Strickler initially believes that it's something trivial, but later notices Jim falling through the shadow portal, and everything clicks. After all, last night, Bular came back enraged, cursing some fleshbag wizard who injured him and swearing to kill that bastard. Strickler deduces that the wizard in question could be Jim. Unlike Bular, he wonders if he can use Jim's talent (after all, all the changelings are connected to shadow magic) and decides to get even closer to his student.

Meanwhile, Douxie visits Jim (as he learned about him from Archie who witnessed the encounter with Bular). Douxie wouldn't get involved in most cases, but apparently, Jim's magic is too strong for someone born during this age, and Jim lacks control, which could easily lead to a lot of damage. So Douxie decides to teach him a bit.

Because Bular has a personal vendetta against Jim, soon enough Kanjigar contacts him as well. Jim learns about the Trollhunter and his mission and proposes to help him (after some initial shock, Jim starts to wonder if there is some meaning to the fact that he got magic). Kanjigar is against it - he has worked alone since the very beginning, and well, Jim is a kid. Jim and Toby still sneak to the Trollmarket, and meet Blinky and Aaarrrgghh there. Blinky believes that having a trollhunting team might not be such a bad idea, so now there are four of them trying to help Kanjigar. Draal eventually joins too, becoming the fifth member. Jim keeps this fact from Douxie because Douxie forbids him to risk his life needlessly (out of concern that there might be another spike in Jim's developing magic which can be harmful to his soul). As for Toby, he gets his Warhammer early on.

Meanwhile, Strickler gets close to Barbara, wondering if she knows her son's secret. He discovers rather fast that she is in the dark about everything and uses it for his own profit.

Much like in the canon, Jim is in the school play, but he skips less because his outings are more controlled (be it magic lessons with Douxie or visits to the Trollmarket), so he has less friction with Claire. Claire still senses that Jim hides something and tries to talk to him about it.

Jim and Toby are the ones who discover the hideout at the museum and basically trigger all the changeling-related events, including Enrique's kidnapping. Enrique is picked because Jim is a regular guest at Claire's house by this point, and Strickler feels that he can use another pair of eyes.

Jim is the one who goes to the concert with Claire in this AU, while Toby babysits Enrique. Claire is initially upset with Jim afterward as she thinks that Toby and Jim decided to prank her together, but after giving it some thought, tries to investigate what is wrong.

Jim still gets Grit-shaka from Draal and ends up exposing his connection to trolls before Douxie before running to fight Bular. Much like in the canon, Bular exposes Strickler.

Claire catches her fake brother herself and encounters Jim, asking if he knows too. Jim decides to tell her everything.

Kanjigar decides to face Bular head-on together with his team (plus Douxie, who joins at the last second). Together they slay him and recover the Killahead.

Now that everything is more or less safe, Claire comes to Kanjigar and asks him to save her brother. Jim and Toby join her pleas, and Jim says that he'll travel to the Darklands himself if Kanjigar disagrees. Kanjigar agrees after some consideration (the previous Trollhunters are against it, but Kanjigar reminds them that his team has slain Bular).

Strickler frees Angor Rot, much like in the canon. Angor, however, disobeys the first command to attack the Trollhunter and judge his skill and goes for Jim instead (he senses his shadow magic and decides to get rid of someone who can possibly become a second Morgana). In this fight, Jim manages to wrestle out the shadow staff. After some examination, Douxie allows him to use it - as the shadow staff, apparently, stabilizes Jim's rather chaotic magic.

The Trollhunters recover the first triumbric stone, but during the quest at the Quagawumps' swamp, the tragedy happens - Kanjigar dies, taking the hit from Angor meant for Claire (it's something that will haunt her for a while). The amulet chooses her as the next champion, but she is conflicted wondering if she can be a good one. After all, she couldn't protect her brother, and Kanjigar died because of her. Draal also doesn't help as he questions her worth (he isn't as bad as he was with Jim in the canon, but his words are still mean).

Jim, however, believes in Claire and says that she can be the best (after all, she is a quick learner, brave, and loyal). Claire starts training, hoping to be able to catch up quickly. Draal warms up eventually and comes to help her.

Angor doesn't make any deal with the Trollhunters in this AU, as he doesn't trust Jim by default. Douxie is the one who suggests stealing Inferna Copula from Strickler, but much like in the canon it ends destroyed, and Angor unleashes his anger at Strickler, Jim, and everyone else. Barbara walks in amid the fight and gets wounded. In this AU she learns everything without losing her memories. Obviously, she is mad at Strickler for using her to get to Jim.

Angor Rot is the first Claire's major opponent, but she manages to defeat him with the help of Jim, Toby, and Draal. Draal feels that his father is avenged and thanks Claire.

However, for Claire, it's not enough. She doesn't want to lose another team member, so goes to the Darklands alone (besides, she was the one who requested that mission to start with). She saves Enrique but ends up trapped.

And here's the problem - only the Trollhunter can open the portal to the Darklands. Jim tries to find an alternative solution and finds a book in Douxie's library about summoning spirits and letting them possess the body. There is a risk, however, as the one who performs it is more vulnerable to possession later, but Jim is willing to risk. He summons Kanjigar's spirit and the team heads into the Darklands to save Claire.

Gunmar getting out isn't the only consequence of that venture. Morgana senses Jim's mind's vulnerability and starts to take over. She resurrects Angor first, then contacts Gunmar.

No one realizes that something is off with Jim at first, chalking most of the stuff to the shadow magic acting up. Claire gets suspicious first and goes to Douxie, demanding if all of that is actually shadow magic. Douxie admits that his fellow student Morgana was odd at times too. After hearing that, Claire is even more worried, and she and Douxie encounter Jim - only to realize that Morgana already fully possesses him.

Claire and Douxie restrain possessed Jim and decide to travel inside his mind to free him. They also bring Toby and Barbara with them, as more meaningful people should make it more likely to succeed. Jim is free, and fighting Morgana gives him a better understanding of his own magic.

With Gunmar and Morgana around the team decides to wake up Merlin (per Douxie's suggestion). And, well, Merlin isn't excited to learn that Douxie got involved and even took a shadowmancer as an apprentice (he is pretty much convinced that Jim will end the same as Morgana if not worse).

Merlin also plans to turn Claire into a half-troll, but as Douxie is around, he investigates the ingredients and discovers what they might do. The team encounters Merlin, and he admits his intentions but tells everyone there is no other choice. Strickler, however, intervenes and makes a guess that there might be some alternative in the Janus Order's records, which turns out to be true. The alternative just requires some blood from a shadowmancer, which Jim gladly provides. Claire becomes a shapeshifter with the ability to change forms at will.

However, Merlin also comes to Jim regarding Morgana. It's possible to seal her inside the Shadow Realm, but all the links between it and the outside world should be cut, meaning that Jim should stay inside the Shadow Realm for good. Merlin appeals to Jim's insecurities and reminds him that the shadow magic is evil, convincing Jim that it'll be better for everyone.

However, Claire overhears this conversation and confronts Jim about it. She also reminds him that Merlin's solutions have already proved to be not the only answer and that their team has already found an alternative once, so it's possible to find another one.

The encouragement from Claire prompts Jim to craft his own spell for the first time to use against Morgana. So, once the Eternal Night comes, both Claire and Jim defeat Gunmar and Morgana respectfully.

@theonceandfuturetrollhunter, I know that you feel down now, so hopefully, this one cheers you up a bit:)

[wen-kexing-apologist]

10 Characters and 10 Fandoms

I was hoping this day would not come. I had hoped I would fly free and clear from having to choose between all the people trapped in my television. But alas...I can avoid it no longer...thanks @lurkingshan

Cause here is the thing, when I think of what drives me batshit, crawling up the wall, tearing at the curtains it is not the characters but the dynamics that I love and cherish.

Rules: name 10 of your favourite characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people to do the same.

So I guess, without further ado, and in no particular order, here are 10 of my faves and why

Wen Kexing - Word of Honor

I mean...this one seems pretty obvious (coughs in username) but this is my dumb slut, okay? He's beauty, he's grace, he's got Zhou Zishu Derangement Syndrome harder than anyone.

Wen Kexing, how do I love you? Let me count the ways:

Unhinged

Fashion Icon

Crazy Bastard Man

Yi Baiyi's Number One Nuisance

Gay As Hell

And most importantly HE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN HIS LIFE.

Not Once. Not Ever.

Akk - The Eclipse

Oh Akk, my favorite little war criminal. If I had to pick one single favorite character, it's my boy.

Can't put my finger on why but for some reason I am obsessed with this emotionally repressed gay boy who has difficulty accepting himself and feels pressured to perform actions far outside what a teenager should be allowed to do because adults put pressure on him and because he doesn't want people to be disappointed in him...

Unlike Wen Kexing, Akk has done many things wrong, but he's my sweet cheese, good time boy, and he deserves to be harassed by his rat bastard boyfriend at all times. He's learned, he's grown, he's free of Suppalo and I want nothing but the best for him forever and alwas.

Jim Jimenez - Our Flag Means Death

Ohhhhh Jim. The Swagger, The Sex Appeal, The Being The Only Competent Member of Stede's Crew. I mean, what is not to love about The Orphan Raised By Nun Grandmother To Be a Killer?

As a fellow Studier Of The Blade, I would welcome the chance to let Jim kill me. Besides the fact they would lay waste to many, as an enby, they automatically earn a spot in my favs list.

Guillermo de la Cruz - What We Do In The Shadows

Tumblr Users, name a sexier character that Guillermo de la Cruz. That's right! YOU CAN'T!

Gay, serial killer...mmm you know what I'm beginning to sense a trend in my favs list...

eh, we can unpack that later!

My lovely, bumbling, dumbass with posession of the only brain cell in the household. So bright and smiley in the beginning you almost forget that he is 10 years in to literally hunting people to feed to his best friends/mortal enemies/family/tormenters/employers/bumbling idiots that stole him away from Panera Bread. There is no greater personification of the Duality of Man than the man who can lay waste to an entire theatre full of vampires and also spending literal hours closing every possible loophole in Nandor's Dick Length Wish. No greater personification of the Duality of Man than the man who can best Nandor in a gay little fight, and then immediately get pushed into a coffin and shipped to England.

Keyleth - Critical Role

My beloved, all powerful awkward disaster of a Druid. Keyleth helped me through some difficult fucking parts of my life, and I really appreciate how heavily Marisha allowed Keyleth to embrace and exert her anger where it needed to be released. I love how Keyleth can both bring a building down with her bare hands (literally) and turn into a goldfish and splatter along the rocks (also literally)

I love when character who are hurt or in pain or grieving continue to be kind, and I love when that composure starts to slip.

Ellie Williams - The Last of Us

I love my baby dyke with all my heart. She's a killer, she's a track star, she makes grown men weep and young kids laugh. She's immune from being mushroomified, and she horrifies Joel's Southern Table Manner Sensibilities. What more can you ask for out of a character?

Tankhun Theerapanyakul- KinnPorsche

Serves cunt.

Kaz Brekkar - Six of Crows

Kaz Brekkar is the walking contradiction, and that is why I love him.

Kaz, External Monologue: murder. murder. crime. crime. heist. heist. fuck pekka.

Kaz, Internal Monologue: Inej. Inej. Inej. Inej. Inej. Inej. Inej.

There is just something so juicy about a character who yearns desperately to touch, to hold, to love and is physically incapable of doing so. Also like, shout out to having disabled characters in media of all forms

Raine Whispers - Owl House

Again, enby, therefore automatically on the fucking list. But also like. COME ON. Look at them. They are so precious, they are so awkward, and they are so badass. This motherfucker can't talk on a stage to save their life, but can lead a goddamn rebel organization?

ALSO LIKE, LET'S DISCUSS THE FUCKING WHISTLE AND THE MONTHS OF FAKING MIND CONTROL?!?!?!??!?! Y'all seriously want to sit here and not claim them as a fav? Okay, but couldn't be me :)

Zuko - Avatar: The Last Airbender

It's Zuko. Need I say more? I will never not love Zuko because I lived through his redemption arc live on my TV. I went from hating this motherfucker's guts to truly deeply loving him in real time and that's all I have to say on that. He's a runner, he's a track star, he's a war criminal, and a baby girl, and truly is the king of kings for doing one nice thing and nearly dying from fever about it.

Well, this has made me realize that most of my favs are gay murderers. Teehee. Please never make me choose my favorite characters again.

If someone tags me in one of these, ask me to do my Top 10 Character Dynamics, please I beg you!!!!1

Tagging:

@bengiyo , @shortpplfedup , @kyr-kun-chan , @moonspiritmars

[inaris-mage-of-storms]

(Content warning for swearing and alcohol use.)

When Jimmy finished his story, Joel stared at him as he processed the last few words that hung in the empty air of Tumble Town's saloon. "He really just left?" he asked. "He just took your gold and walked away without so much as a 'sorry'?"

"I did tell him to go," Jimmy reminded him. "And I don't think I'd have listened if he did try to apologize. I was too hurt."

"He still could have tried!" argued Joel. "I mean, he shouldn't have been stealing from you in the first place, actually, but to just leave like that was low." He shook his head and they both sipped at their beers in silence until another thought occurred to Joel. "You're allies now, though," he said slowly. "Friendly, even. Does that mean he apologized and you forgave him?"

"Ah. Well." Jimmy ran his finger over a scuff mark on the bar. "He doesn't, uh. He doesn't know it's me. He doesn't remember me."

He refused to look over at Joel even as he felt Joel's stare of disbelief bore into him. "Jim."

"Joel."

"Why didn't you say anything?" demanded Joel. "Hell, why did you agree to an alliance? You don't owe him anything. He owes you."

Half-formed excuses danced on the tip of Jimmy's tongue. Tumble Town needs as many alliances as it can get. It wasn't actually that big a deal and I got over him a long time ago. I thought having information he doesn't might be useful someday. He swallowed them all and told Joel the truth instead.

"Because I'm still in love with him."

Joel sucked in a breath. "Oh, Jimmy," was all he said, and this time his voice sounded choked instead of scolding. "This entire time?"

Jimmy shrugged. "Typical Jimmy stupidity, right?" He tried to keep his tone light-hearted even as his grip on his mug tightened. "He turned my entire world on its head. He shattered my heart into a million pieces. And here I am, still desperate for every second I can even be in the same room as him, when I wasn't even important enough for him to remember meeting." He raised his beer for another drink, but his hands were shaking, and he put it back down.

"I can't believe - " Joel put a hand over his mouth for a second, remembering something else. "All those things I said at the holiday party, and you were...Bloody hell, Jimmy, I feel like an absolute dick right now."

Jimmy managed a shaky laugh. "Well, you didn't know, did you?" he said. "You couldn't have known."

Joel drained the last of his drink and stood up, moving behind the bar to rummage for another bottle. "I could, I dunno, go blight his crops or something," he said. "Kill all his llamas. Turn on the upstairs bath and leave it running." He succeeded in his mission and waved the bottle in Jimmy's direction. "Anything you want. Just say the word, and I'll ruin that bastard's life."

Jimmy's laugh was a little stronger this time, and he was unable to deny the warmth in his chest at Joel getting so indignant on his behalf. "It's fine, Joel, really," he said. "I don't want you to do anything to him."

"'Fine' isn't the word I would use." Joel returned to his seat and opened the bottle, topping off Jimmy's mug before his own. "But if you say so."

"I do say so. Leave him alone." He raised his mug and bumped it against the one Joel raised to him. "But thank you."

"Any time, bud."

Prev | series masterpost | Next

[slashingdisneypasta]

Jim Bickerman x Reader || Drabble

Plot: Reba tells you that Jim was killed this time- but then he comes home.

Warnings: Character no one cares about from a movie series nobody likes?? 😅 References to gore and wounds (Very lightly), and sexual references. Also? Unedited.

~

“He… what?” You almost don’t even believe it, even as Reba stands on your porch and tells you what happened; That Jim fell off a boat at Black Water and they haven’t seen him since. “Were you… there?”

She lets out a slow sigh like a cowboy, broken and weary after everything she’s been through, and shakes her head. “No, but I’ve got it from sociopath that she caused it, and she’s got no reason to lie, so... ”

Nodding back, feeling weird and… bad, really bad… you keep thinking for a moment. He can’t be dead, can he?? No way. He’s been attacked by crocs before, he lost a leg and an arm and an eye, he looks like one of Sid’s creations in Toy Story with how many different parts he had nailed into him, but he survived, so there is no fucking way that in the end a crocodile still got him!… It’s not fair. And that’s just the tip of the unfairness, here! You shouldn’t have even liked him in the first place. If you had listened to your first official opinion of him, that he was a handsy old bastard, then you wouldn’t care right now about any of that and you wouldn’t be feeling like your legs are about to give out under you. But you didn’t, and now- “Um, Reba I’m gonna close the door now. Cuz I’m gonna fall apart. Thank you, though, for um… telling me… “

“Yeah. I mean- no worries. Thought you might wanna know… ” Reba steps back, as if to let you close the door but continues to watch you cautiously- there’s a frown on her face but you know she’s worried. “Look, Y/N, do you want me to stick around? I’m not a great cook but I could whip us up dinner?- “

“Thanks,” Your eyes are tearing up pretty heavily now, and you are not about to cry in front Sheriff Reba so you just waive, and close the door in her face. Then, taking a deep breath in a last-ditch attempt to calm yourself, you lean back against the door and just blink; Hoping it’ll make the tears go away. It doesn’t help though, and before Reba’s ignition even turns on, you’re sobbing into your hands.  

~

You wake up later in the middle of the night because you thought you heard a knock at the door, but when you listen out there are no more sounds, so you assume you imagined them. You can’t go back to sleep, though, so you slowly get up from the bed and run a hand through your hair. Because of that you immediately see the old flannel of Jim’s that you’re wearing, and groan.

That’s just great. Absolutely super.

Still, you don’t take it off; Just wrap it more securely around yourself as you make it gradually, heavy with sleep and a brain stiff from crying earlier, to the kitchen. There, you keep holding the flannel around yourself with one arm while picking up the kettle with the other and putting it into the sink before twisting on the water. You need a cup of tea… and maybe half a bottle of his bourbon… or what used to be his, you suppose.

Sighing, you make a new vow to try and not think about things as ‘his’ anymore- at least tonight. Its too awful, thinking he’s not coming back for any of it. So, this is just a ratty flannel and the bottle in your hand is just some bad alcohol.

… Yep. That’ll work. Already you feel so much better. Rolling your eyes, you tiredly pick up the kettle again and set it back on the bench to heat the water, before finding a clean mug and pouring the gross brown liquid inside.

As you lean back on the bench and take a sip, feeling the stuff burn all the way down your throat, you hear a knocking at the front door again.

Its kind of weak, but enough to raise your suspicions. Frowning, you set the mug down on the bench and set off towards the door. You peak out the window but its too dark to tell who it is, so you grab the nearest rifle (Stuffed in the umbrella bin) and unlock the door… before slowly opening it.

The sight before your eyes is immediately shocking, and gruesome. “J- Jim!?”

He’s leaning heavily on the doorframe, hunched over, dirty, covered in blood and looking as if he could fall over at any second. “Let me in… heh… I’m dying here… “

Without asking questions you rush into action, helping him to ease off the doorframe (Ending up with almost his entire weight on you), and taking him to the couch which - luckily, - is close by in this two-room shack the two of you live in. Then you grab the first-aid kit and get to work.

~ 2 hours later Jim’s clean, changed, and half his body is wrapped up in gauze (Luckily, there was recently a sale at the chemist. Honestly, Jim should be thanking all his lucky stars at this point. How does he keep surviving like this??) but he’s sitting up somehow, despite getting mauled by a croc for the second time and walking all the way back home. You’re drinking tea with him, sleeves rolled up still from saving him a second ago, playing with the teabag nervously, but you’re far too silent and he can tell somethings obviously wrong.

After a few moments of pleasant quiet, he sighs and sets his own teacup down on the coffee table. “We got anything stronger than this? - “

“No- “You snap, bursting like a party popper. “I used the rest of your stash to disinfect your crocodile bites. How are you alive!???”

“Now, I thought you’d be happier about it.” Jim jokes, dropping his hand on your thigh- and you glare at him, because this is not the time to be ‘cheeky’. It makes him huff out a sigh, dramatically, and moves to pick up his tea again. “Alright.”

“I am.” You assure, letting the tension out of your face so he can see how relieved you are. Then you tell him again- “I am, really. I just… I don’t understand… Reba said you were dead?”

Chuckling, he shakes his head. “I’m a hard bastard to kill, you know.”

Is that… the only answer? You feel like there should be more. Some good reason why you’ve almost lost him twice and he’s still come back, some assuredness that it won’t happen again or if he does nearly get killed again then he’ll come home again just like this. Does he have some kind of secret weapon? Can he talk to crocs?? You would believe anything he told you, now. Just for the hope. “… that’s all??” But if its just that he’s lucky, then… well, you can’t bet on lucky!! You can’t trust it! Luck can run out-

“Yep.” He takes a sip of the hot tea, and your shoulders drop.

 ‘Yep’. That’s it??

Jim takes notice of the crestfallen look on your face, and sighs; Setting down his tea again in favour of patting your knee this time. “Hey- I won’t be goin’ anywhere near that lake again, if that makes you feel better.”

Glaring, you straighten up and tilt your head at him. “… do you promise?”

“Yeah, I don’t need anymore chunks taken outta me. I’ll just hit the gym if I surpass my ideal weight, this time. Promise.” Despite the joking way that he promised, you find yourself believing him and take a deep, relieved breath.

“… okay.”

“Alright,” He gives a grin that’s almost gentle, and almost incorrect on his rough face- before he switches back to the regular suspicious, cheeky smirk. “But I will require incentive to stick around, you know. Y’think you can help out with that, princess?”

“Ughhh… “Reaching over, you take bunches of his shirt in your fists and shake him, gently; Affectionately. “Yeah, I think I can do that… “Because yeah, he’s frustrating and opportunistic and vulgar but you kind of love the old bastard.

His grin only widens. “Really??”

“Yeah, but there are ground rules. You have to be very careful, you’re delicate.”

“Psh, whatever. I’ll be right back.” Using a rifle as a walking stick, Jim gets up from the couch and starts hobbling over to the kitchen (*cough* for his boner pills *cough*).

“You need help?” You call, finishing your tea on the couch.

“No, no, no, I’m fine.” He huffs back, and you roll your eyes. Then turn your head as you set your finished tea down, to see him the kitchen doorway looking around. A little smile warms onto your face, just so glad that he’s alive. “Hey, we do so have bourbon here. You lyin’ to me?- Oh, hi-”

As he turns around, he finds you right behind him just before you throw your arms around him and hug him tight. Stupid old bastard, you think, closing your eyes and just appreciating him there, alive, under your hands. The smell of his soap and blood, the feel of his bear on the side of your face, and the sound of his breathing… God, you’re so damn relieved. You’re never letting him anywhere near those crocodiles ever again.

[inkedmyths]

S1: E21 "Salvation"

Brought to you by Dean's a Birthday Boy Today Happy Birthday

This episode featuring: Father of the year (not), she's back and needs a haircut, John Winchester has friends?, and life lessons from The Magnus Archives that should be applied here

Oh opening song? Hewwo?

This is your calling...

Hmm interesting to see what's being focused on in the recap...

Ah yes a church. Great start

Meg!! I fucking knew it!!!

Is she going to murder the priest

Meg also needs a better haircut

Well thats unfortunate Mr Priest man

Imagine ur a priest and this happens to you

Oh he actually has knives and shit good for him

Oh hes another hunter related person

Right. Kill a hunter, bring the others to you as they investigate

Well thats creepy

Damn thats a fucking lot John Winchester

Exactly 6 months

Sam is having a weird guilt thing abt this

Its got something to do with the psychic shit I think

ITS A PLACE. SALVATION IOWA. Demon's got a sense of humor lol

Pastor Jim Murphy.... demon......

Alright time to track dooooown. Infant birth dates. Hospital break in time lol

Bro whys the camera so fuzzy there lmao

Thats rough though. Hearing your friend died like that. I mean obv its the business but

Uh oh! Sam is having a vision!

The next victim...

Based on a train and houses

Is that the demon though? Or is he seeing something else? How can he know

Bro Sam these visions... aaaare not helping your social skills

Dear God thats Horrific

Well now we have to explain the spooky visions to John

BRO YOU WEREN'T PICKING UP THE PHONE. ASSHOLE

MEG

Aha. So she's going after his comrades to get him to stop

DUDE THIS OTHER GUY HAD THE GUN FOREVER AND THEY DIDN'T GO AFTER HIM BUT NOOOOOW

Bitch

Whats this demon's fucking problem

Damn... just want to stop losing people.....

Choo choo

You Make Every Shot Count

Let's go kill some demons!!!

Ok are we doing some jumping back and forth

Spoooooky warehouse

Very atmospheric

I think it would be funnier if they solved it by setting the house on fire first. Beat the demon at its own game. Not holy fire just fire. Plain old arson. Gertrude Robinson this shit. Can't have the lady burn on the ceiling if you burn the ceiling first!

Blessing a whole thing of water? I mean sure ig. I am 90% thats not how holy water works but

Brotherly bonding. Heart to heart

LMAO "Just in case" "Bro don't u even START"

Hewwo Meg

Damn hes stone cold.

Whos this fucker

LMAO HE TESTS THE GUN ON HER?

Well Johns a bit fucked but that was funny. Damn Meg u trust this guy? Like really Meg you did just get shot and you're going along with this

HAHA holy water. That was pretty clever Mr Winchester

Oh shit here it comes

Run John Run

Well this is Tense

What the fuck is that!!

I dont think u shot it

Shit Mr Winchester that sucks

Damn this poor family

Oh hes just standing there. Hewwo demonic bastard

Sam cmon you idiot the house was on FIRE

Sam "That thing killed mom that thing killed Jess" vs. Dean "Nothing will happen to you not while I'm around"

Aha the Bitch

GOD OK EPISODE OVER

---

No time for thoughts I have to watch the next ep

[bitchfitch]

The night shift at Uncle Jim-Jim's Arcade and Fun Complex had gotten a lot less spooky since Silas learned the true nature of the monster which haunted the place. He double checked his work like he did every night, a final round of inspection through the massive and dimly lit building before returning to the arcade.

It was rare the 'monster' stayed quiet the whole night, usually prefering to follow Silas around the building while dicking around on his phone until it was time to go wherever they felt like going that night.

"Bats!" Silas called from the entrance, "I'm done. Do you want to go bother ducks in the park or something?"

There was no response from the dark room beyond.

"Chase? You're here right? I'm not talking to nothing?" Silas asked before whipping around, expecting the bastard to have snuck up behind him, but there was only the empty lobby. No waif of a vampire looking like a victorian orphan boy lost in time emerging from the shadows.

"Chase? Seriously, Bats, I'm starting to worry," Silas walked into the room, grabbing the step stool from behind the prize counter as he passed.

He approached the crane games, and set his stool down, climbing up to get a better look at the coffin that rested on top of them. Still fully closed, no gap between the lid and the box that Chase liked to keep while he slept.

Silas knocked on its side anyways, "Babe? You in there?"

he got a loud, drawn off groan in return.

"Everything ok in there?"

"Nooooo," Chase whined from within.

"Gonna tell me what's up?"

"No."

"Do you want me to leave you alone?"

"... No."

"Ok, then you're going to have to come out, I'm not going to stay perched on this all night, my darling."

the lid cracked open a hair, "It's rude to try and make people come out you know? Very problematic."

"Funny, how making an old man climb a crane game to talk to you is also, what did you call it, 'problematic'?"

"Cringe," Chase huffed.

"Yeah, well at least I'm trying to stay hip. Come on, we can go back to my place and watch a movie or something."

"No. Its- I love you, but please just leave."

"I love you too, and I'll go if you really want me to, but will you at least give me a hint on what's happening? Did I do something to upset you?"

"If I tell you you're going to be stupid about it."

"Let's be honest, I was going to be stupid about it no matter what." he grinned when that silly joke got a giggle out of Chase.

"... Promise to go straight home? Lock your doors and salt lines around every entrance. Extra garlic by the windows."

"Chase, are you in danger-"

"Promise."

"I promise, I promise, swear it on my parents' graves."

"Thank you," the lid opens fully, Chase sitting up, his hair a mess and his pale face streaked red with dried tears, "My sire is back from his trip, and I just want to keep a low profile until he leaves again. He ..." Chase grimaces, "He and I arn't a thing. Haven't been for years, but he doesn't agree with that. I- I really don't want him knowing about you, ok?"

"Chase..." Silas has to pick apart the layers of what Chase just said to him, "I- Let's start with this, What do you mean he's your Sire? Like, he's your father?"

"No, He's the guy who turned me into a vamp. He... No, not dealing with that tonight, putting that memory back into it's box. He turned me, he thinks we're still a thing and is the worst person ever, and would absolutely kill you if he found out I was quote un-quote cheating on him with you. That's All you need to know," chase rambles off. "Leave, I'll text you when he's gone again,"

Silas nods, he and Chase would talk about this more later, "Do you want me to vamp proof the entrances? I've got salt hoses in the trunk and everything already."

"No. He'll know someone is helping me and be... Listen Silas, I- He's not going to be happy with me no matter what and he's never been reasonable. It's going to be a lot safer and easier to just let him have what he wants until he fucks off again."

"Bats is he-"

"Don't say it. Yeah he is. I- I don't want him to but he is and there's no stopping it. If you aren't comfy with that... I dunno, break up with me or something." he pulls his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around them, "Or just break up with me anyways because dating a vampire was a stupid idea and dating me specifically was an even stupider idea."

"I'm not breaking up with you for what's being done against your will," Silas's brow furrowed.

"I know, you're too nice and good and -"

"I'm not to good for you either, keep out of that doom spiral too."

"Meanie."

"Yeah. Cruelest fucker in this city at your service. But I'm serious, do I need to call Mindy? I don't like that she kills people but this is a guy who sounds like he needs to be dead."

"Chances are he'll just kill her. He's not like every other vamp she's hunted or any of the other monsters kicking around. He was the first and he's not nearly as easy to kill as the rest of us."

"But he can be killed?"

"You Promised you wouldn't be stupid about this."

"I'm not being stupid."

"Yes, you are."

"I'm not being stupid Yet, then."

"Silas. Please, Please Please Pretty Pleas I am actually Begging you. Go home. Come back for your next shift, pretend you don't know me while you're here. Leave as soon as it hits closing even. I'll handle cleaning up for the night and everything."

"You suck at cleaning," Silas sighed, "I'll go. I'll be real clever and smart. But, when it's all done, Promise me you'll come to my place and let me baby you for a bit? Take you on a nice date, and then maybe actually talk about what's happening here?"

"I won't want to."

"I know, but I don't want you to have to be alone in this. You can tell me anything and just get it out of your system. Ok? Then you can beat me at one of the videogames you keep 'forgetting' at my place or whatever. Deal?"

Chase looks at him, his face half hidden behind his knees, but his expression is still so obviously soft. The pain and nerves keeping him tense, but the love is all there, "Deal."

[lila-unfortunately]

Nasty Little Habits

Supernatural (brotherhood au)

Whumptober 2022 | no. 2 | “cornered”

@whumptober-archive :)

tw: disordered eating & child abuse/neglect

“Alright, Deuce,” Caleb hummed, all sorts of amped up, “You ready to head out?”

“I was ready to head out awhile ago. Not my fault you had to do your whole,” Dean waved his hand, gesturing at Caleb, “pretty princess routine.”

Caleb snorted, “You’re an asshole.”

Dean smirked.

Caleb had wanted to take Dean out for awhile. After Flagstaff, all of the stress from hunting, and, of course, the responsibility for a brooding teenager and a father intent on living off the reservation, Dean needed a night out.

Mac was pissed, John probably was too. It didn’t matter, though, Caleb decided. He wasn’t exactly a fan of the two right now. In fact, the entire Triad could go ahead and suck it. They all knew John was unreasonable, unstable, and, yet, somehow, Dean was alone with his hormonal little brother and psycho soldier father without Triad contact. That was asking for trouble.

Jim and Mac had tried (and failed) to reason with him. “John will contact us if they are in trouble” they said. Yeah, fucking, right. Johnny was his mentor, he’s known the Winchester’s ‘didn’t accept charity’ from his first time meeting the three. And looking at Dean now, shit had definitely gone down.

Caleb could tell Dean wasn’t exactly the Dean he had to walk away from three months ago. He looked different, in a way Caleb couldn’t quite place but also acted different. The kid was on edge, big time. Caleb watched him case the joint three times before joining him in their room. Dean carried more weapons now, too.

Dean usually carried, that wasn’t abnormal, after all, he was a hunter. His colt, a couple of knives, maybe a flask of holy water, that was usually enough unless they were on a hunt. Apparently, Dean had become Johnny 2.0 in Caleb’s time away.

Trained as he was, he couldn’t see all of which his friend was hiding, but the kid was armed to the teeth. Paranoid bastard Johnny was and, undoubtedly, the sentiment trickled down.

“What’s with the armory?” Caleb asked, not missing a beat.

Dean frowned, pointedly avoiding Caleb’s trademark what-are-you-hiding gaze. Which meant, of course, the kid was hiding something. He didn’t mean to corner him, or maybe he did, but secrets for the Winchesters? Always a bad idea.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” Dean declared.

What a weak defense, Caleb thought, he’s definitely been hanging around Sam too much.

“Y’know,” Caleb replied, examining the kid again, counting, “the seven different weapons that are visible to my hunter eyes.”

Dean scowled, “Well, I guess Dad was right, you are off your game. Seven?”

Caleb frowned and spoke cooly, “Listening to your father while he is angry is never wise, Deuce. Would you like to see just how “off my game” I really am?”

Yeah, Caleb was livid. The heartless bastard angrily talking shit when he wasn’t there to defend himself? Low. Dean parroting the said heartless bastard? Caleb was gonna kill him.

“What?” Dean asked, frown reforming, “no. It was a joke, Damien. Remember how three months ago you could take a joke?”

Caleb blinked. He was pissed at John and taking it out on Dean… he needed to calm down. Now. Dean wasn’t in the right headspace to fight with him too.

“I…I don’t know what that was,” Caleb murmured quietly, “didn’t, uh, mean to start something.”

Dean bit his lip, still scowling, but relenting slowly with a deep exhale, “It’s good, man. You’ve been asking about me, but, really, how have you been?”

Caleb shook his head, “Just worried about you. I’m fine.”

Dean quirked half a smile, “I know you worry but you can’t worry yourself sick. I really can take care of myself, Damien.”

He sighed, soon realized what the younger man was up to, “Seriously, man, what is with the armory?”

Dean fidgeted, still trying to wriggle out of answering, but Caleb wasn’t relenting until he got an answer.

“It just helps. I- I’ve just gotten used to it.”

Caleb frowned, “Deuce, what the hell has been going on?”

He could sense his friend’s discomfort, but that discomfort was a neon sign in Caleb’s book. If he was that intent on keeping it a secret, it probably meant he needed to know. Dean was his best friend, but also his family. He couldn’t protect him from his three month long punishment, but he was sure as hell going to pick up the pieces.

Dean sighed, relenting, “Look, man, don’t go and blab to Mac, okay? But we’ve been in some seedy places recently.”

“Johnny always leaves you in seedy places?” Caleb replied, voice lifted in a question, urging Dean to keep speaking.

“It’s, ah,” Dean paused to look at Caleb’s feet instead of his face that was probably radiating anger and worry, “well, it’s been worse, than usual. Like, bad enough I almost called Jim myself.”

Caleb’s eyes widened. He loved Deuce, but he was the type of guy to always follow his old man’s orders. Didn’t want to cause a confrontation, would never risk John’s ring because of an inconvenience. It had to of been bad.

“Are you okay? Is Sam-“

Dean cut him off with a wave of his hand, “It’s old news now, we got through it. I’m standing here, Sammy is probably following Mac around like a lost puppy. Right as rain, dude, don’t worry.”

Something about the way Dean said ‘don’t worry’ made Caleb worry even more, but he knew that Dean would eventually reveal the finer details eventually, the kid couldn’t hide shit forever, especially not with half the bar inside of him and Caleb’s strategic line of questioning.

“Okay,” Caleb said, feigning deference, “enough of the chick-flick. Let’s get out of here, already.”

Dean exhaled, in obvious relief, “I’ve been saying that for about an hour, dude.”

Caleb smirked, hiding his concern, but grabbed his cell and followed Dean out the door, in pursuit of a bar.

*~*

Caleb regretted not taking his car. He had assumed that the pair of them would be too shitfaced for either of them to drive, but Caleb had held back. He had his eyes on Dean, who, as predicted, drank about half the bar that night. While his friend was fantastic at taking his liquor like a champ, tonight, Dean was drunk as a skunk and it showed. He never lost his contents but the kid was unsteady on his feet. Caleb practically scraped him off the pavement when it was time to go.

He had decided to carry Dean back to their place, because the kid was probably going to get hit by a passing car if he didn’t.

It took Caleb about ten minutes to actually reach the place and he was thoroughly exhausted. The kid was mumbling half to himself, half to Caleb.

“Mmm ‘atch the goods,” Dean babbled.

Caleb grunted, readjusting Dean’s body on top of his shoulders, rolling his eyes.

Finally, after some mock horror from the front desk workers and a slow trudgen journey, the pair were back inside their room, of course, no thanks to Dean.

“Alright,” Caleb started, propping Dean up against some pillows in his bed and fixing him up with a glass of water, “Let’s talk.”

Dean groaned, cradling athe glass of water, “About whattt?”

“What’s been up the past few months?”

Dean took a sip of his water, pointing at Caleb in mock anger, “Tryin’ to set me up, huh, Damien?”

Caleb smirked, “Nah, you promised earlier we could talk after we hit the town, not my fault you hit the town a little too hard.”

Dean nodded, almost enthusiastically, “You’re right. Should’ve ate something before we started drinking. I thought about it and then I was like no because I already went this long and-“

Caleb went pale.

“Deuce,” He interrupted gingerly, yet borderline frantic, “what are you talking about?”

Dean waved his hand passively, “No biggie, man. One of the nasty little habits I picked up over time. Nothing to worry your little tits over.”

Caleb closed his eyes for a moment, trying to figure out what to say next. Truthfully, he thought the kid was hiding some hunting details or maybe under exaggerated how badly shit had happened. What he didn’t expect was him fully admitting to having problems with eating.

“When did this start, buddy? And when’s the last time you ate?”

Deuce’s eyebrows were furrowed in thought and Caleb couldn’t help but feel some sort of panic in the pause.

“I guess it started awhile ago. I was already kinda used to not eating when me and Sammy were getting low on food. And then, well, recently Dad’s been leaving not enough money. Well, he never really has, but he used to leave a lot more but he’s all mad ‘nd shit so he’s been leaving less and then I really can’t get a job or even really leave ‘cause Sammy will dip out so fast, I just kinda stopped eating. It’s been good, though, like nothing crazy or anything. I guess the last time I ate was, erm, Sunday? Yeah. Sunday. ‘Cause Jim made pancakes for us and he was watching me kinda hard so I had to eat one and then I got out of eating the rest ‘cause Dad needed Jim and then Sammy said he was still hungry so it worked out sort of perfectly-

“Caleb sort of froze, letting Dean babble away because what the hell happened? Why did Johnny allow this to happen? Hell, Sam’s a genius, why couldn’t the kid step in? Dean’s sitting over here talking about not eating in about five days, like it ain’t a big fucking deal and Caleb is just sitting next to him wondering how his friend got so screwed up, so quickly.

“Why do you do this? To help your brother?”

Dean smiled a little bit, “I mean, yeah, Sammy is a growing boy. He’s gotta eat. That’s how it started ya know? I mean it’s not like I deserve it anyways. And actually, man, I’ve gotta be honest, I’m starting to get this gnawing sensation. Starting to feel like maybe we weren’t supposed to be talking about this?”

Caleb could feel himself getting worked up, his jaw was clenched, knuckles white from how tightly he had them clasped together, he could almost swear his eye twitched. He wasn’t mad at Dean. Of course not. He was pissed at the son of a bitch who put the kid in situations where Dean felt like it was him or Sammy and convinced him to have such low self worth that he never even considered putting himself into the equation.

“Yeah, it’s alright, man. I’ve heard enough. You just get you some sleep. Sorry for cornering you. Just wanted to get a feel for how badly Johnny screwed up this time,” Caleb replied with a laugh that was far from humorous, “Turns out, it was worse than I thought. But, it’ll be handled. Don’t you worry.”

Dean nodded, not comprehending much, but fell asleep with ease.

Dean was gonna kill him in the morning and he was gonna kill Johnny, but even though tomorrow was gonna suck, Caleb couldn’t find himself regretting the conversation he had with his drunken friend, especially looking over his sleeping body.

Without his usual layers, Caleb could see just how skinny he had gotten. He was paler than ever, ribs protruding, jawbone sharper, and cheeks slightly sunken. He looked like shit and Caleb supposed it was all kinda hard to miss once the boy’s guard was down. But that was the problem. Save Caleb’s alcohol tactic, there was no way to reach Dean’s melon at all. Scary, now that Caleb knew all about his self loathing.

God, there was so much work to do.

[deadthingposting]

Ofmd rewatch ep 1- pilot

Ah stede Bonnet you dumb babbling blond bimbo bastard I fucking hate you.I mean I adore him but by god if I don't want to skin him alive everytime he opens his pretty dumb mouth to just declare the stupidest thing i ever heard, episode one stede is a walking cringe compilation. The flashbacks of his childhood are very sad but don't justify him being such a clueless idiot

He has the energy of a white boy throwing gang signs

Like oluwande says to his face can you please stop romanticizing our lives we live like this not because we like but because we have no option and only then stede is like oh shit I might have made a mistake

But still killing your childhood bully by sheer force of luck and bottled violent urges it's some cool shit and I respect that

And speaking of people who I want to beat with a wooden spoon, fuck episode one Pete, he and stede are the exactly same type of tryhard/wannabe/poser but to opposite directions, he is so fucking arrogant like man no one believes your bullshit shut up

Jim throwing a knife at the racist British officer was probably one of the best scenes in the whole series and I meant it

Buttons it's just so great, like I love buttons he is the best, Frenchie singing not one but two little songs about inevitable death it's some bard behavior, wee John makes at least two wishes to commit arson and you know what we don't have enough arsonist pyromaniac John headcanons.

Oluwande and Lucius are the only ones there who actually think and have an ounce of logic in their bodies.

Overall episode one is fucking great it's expose well all the characters stede as the rich guy trying to be tough the crew who seem to like some parts of him and hate others olu and Jim's "situation" Pete's boastfulness and in hindsight we can see how all those things play out

Also can we just talk about how the first stede actual interaction with real piracy is theatrical like you know a fuckery I just think it's neat

Rating:🐋 🐋🐋🐋 four whale paper wights to kill your childhood bully with

[amuseoffyre]

I'm just having a BIG FRIGGING MOMENT over episodes 9-10 of Our Flag.

I mean yes, there's the obvious ones, the ones that made me howl and clutch at my face like a Victorian lady would clutch at her pearls, but there are the subtle ones that they slipped in there as well. The ones that make me howl even more.

1) JIM JUST LOST THEIR FAMILY AGAIN. "I can be your family, if you want" and now that's gone and Jim has done one vengeance quest, gdi. Do you need to give them another??? (Also, Ed breaking up all the pairs on the ship? OMFG You sad broken-hearted bastard T_T)

2) All the little bits of set-up from episode 1 coming full circle and saving the day in episode 9-10. So many bits. Man I love it when a show is so tightly planned out that things that seem pointless and irrelevant are suddenly lynchpins for everything T_T

3) Remember what Ed told Izzy he was going to do to Stede? The body turning up, face mangled beyond recognition, so he could leave his old life behind? He never told Stede that as far as we know - he only told Stede he was meant to kill him. But Stede did *exactly the same thing* to get away from his old life.

Which means I really, really, really hope we get a scene like this:

"He... he's really dead?" Blackbeard sank to sit on the edge of the rail. "Yeah." Izzy tried not to show how pleased he was. "He was mauled by a leopard." "Oh God." Izzy nodded. "And then hit by a carriage." The Captain blinked like someone had flicked him between the eyes. "After the leopard?" "I know. But before the piano landed on him." Something weird was happening on Blackbeard's face. "Boss?" "A piano?" "Yeah. Crushed him beyond recognition." And the boss slowly started to grin. "How about that."

[themthistles]

About The Siete Gallos, Spanish Jackie and Jim's Revenge

So when Jim recounts the events of their family's murder to Oluwande they say this:

So we know that at some point Jim takes the family dagger from their father's corpse. And then hides in the woods for a while. That's it.

But between their father's murder and the woods there is a lot of lost time and unanswered questions. Why was Jim the only one unharmed? Where is their brother? We don't see him or his body anywhere. I find it hard to believe that Jim simply ran away and left their sibling to die considering they immediately try to protect him when Alfeo stabs their father.

The way The Siete Gallos act in general is strange. If they wanted to take money or any of the family's stuff (which is like three chickens and some oranges) why were they just standing there waiting for Alfeo's signal? Why did seven of 'the most dangerous and brutal killers this land has ever seen' come and rob one small household in the first place? Why kill a man who wasn't resisting and clearly said they could take all they want?

Speaking of.

I don't think Alfeo's talking about actual oranges here. It seems to me like he’s saying 'What a nice life and family you've made for yourself here'. Jim's father tells him that he can 'take everything he wants' meaning 'take all my money and possesions, just don't touch my family' but after Alfeo replies 'I will' he looks directly at the kids.

There's also the murder weapon.

Isn’t it odd to leave a knife in the wound during a simple robbery? That kind of thing seems personal.

I think Alfeo killed Jim's father because that's exactly what he and the others came there to do. I think the mercenaries knew who they were killing very well. Just look at father's reaction when he sees Alfeo. Yes, it's normal to be cautious of strangers but the man looks completely terrified, almost like he feared someone might come looking for him one day.

I also think Jim's brother might be alive. We haven't seen definitive proof of his death. I think he managed to run away and is tracking down the remaining gang members. Either he and Jim got split up or he decided to leave and take revenge on his own.

Now on to Spanish Jackie. You're telling me it's a coincidence that not one but two of her husbands happen to be in The Siete Gallos? I don't buy it. And her being 25 is definitely a lie.

She says that she wants Jim dead because they murdered her (favorite) husband but considering how easily she shoots Geraldo and then later casually sits down to drink with Jim right by Alfeo's corpse, I doubt she cares all that much for any of them. So then what's up with this reaction?

In episode 8 she tells Jim that she knows what it's like to want the people who took your family from you to feel the same loss. So if she recognized the dagger Jim used to killed Alfeo, remembered who it belonged to and maybe what was done with it then these strong words would be justified. Just not directed at Jim. But at their family name. Jiménez.

Jackie is very careful to keep identities of the rest of The Siete Gallos secret. She masterfully avoids answering any questions about them, disguising it as care for Jim's future and not wanting them to go down the same path as her. Her advice about not wasting your life on revenge is solid but you can say the right thing for the wrong reasons.

'Those bastards are probably dead' is all we get out of her. Why? Because she doesn't want Jim looking for the rest. Because she was the one who ordered them to kill Jim's father and if Jim found any of the five mercenaries left and got that information, of course they would want to stab Jackie in the face.

Anyways, that's it from me. Hope this is dramatic enough for the telenovela that is Jim's entire life.

TLDR: Spanish Jackie is closely tied to The Siete Gallos. Jim's father was the cause of death of someone dear to her or crossed her in some other way and then ran away to start a new life in St. Augustine. Jackie tasked The Siete Gallos with tracking down and killing him. Jim's brother is alive and is hunting down their father's killers.

[howl-fantasies]

Author-san, how do you think y/n reacted/would react about the time where Oswald almost beheaded Vic?

A/N - Hi dear! Oh how interesting! I asked myself the same question last time and here is what I think would be her reaction and what it means for her relationship with Penguin. But first, let's talk about what happened a bit before the 'almost VicLouis XVI incident', to understand how she reacted and what she decided to do after.

⨠ So far, we knew that Cobblepot and Y/N shared a very special relationship. A kind of frenemy thing, tending to balance more on the 'Oh my god I hate this cripple / harlot! But don't you dare touching any of his / her hair, he/she is family (sort of?) and MY target, not yours so you're dead if you try anything.'

They are, in a way, very loyal to each other in their rivalry and can work with each other on a daily basis without too much troubles. Y/N being professional during her job and Oswald being a good boss in knowing how to keep her and Victor bloodthirsty personalities in line.

Since the beginning, she knew for a fact that Oswald was a very intelligent and cunning man, who always think at least ten steps ahead everyone, even Carmine, and respects him greatly for that. 

So when Victor asked him if he "killed the old man" and Penguin said "no" she trusted him and even told Victor that obviously he wouldn't kill the only man able to keep Sofia at bay, it wouldn't be logical.

⨠ When Victor betrayed Oswald, she was beyond mad and even thought about killing Sofia but didn't. The brat was Falcone daughter for starters, and she respected her boss too much to go on a killing spree against his daughter without a good reason. 

She stayed with Oswald, her hate for the woman was greater than the one she shared with him. She even asked him, very politely at that, to let her deal with this stubborn boyfriend of hers to try to take him back "home" with them.

Their couple went into a very instable phase, one of their major crisis tbh, constantly balancing between twisted obsessive love and pure resentment because of the other’s allegiance. 

They still tried to avoid having to seriously fight the other and killing them. When she heard Sofia was the one responsible for Carmine murder, she went berserk and was decided to make her pay. 

If Lee's was the one putting a bullet in the brat body - which Y/N was pretty mad about - she was the one annihilating everything the Italian woman built in Gotham. Killing everyone who supported her,Victor being an exception, and had a very intense conversation (a.k.a with many bullets, blood and blades) with Zsasz about his poor choice of boss.

He decided to not come back to Oswald's side and she agreed with it. Things went too far between Zsasz and him, and Oswald knew better than anyone in town how to hold a serious grudge.

⨠ During Gotham's confinement (COVID vibes here), she still worked with Oswald, needing his ammunition since hers - and secretly Victor’s - wouldn't be eternal. 

Deep down, she also wanted the little bird bastard to survive since he was, in her opinion, one of the best choice of leader for this evil city. She asked him a favor : to let her deal with her husband if Penguin ever cross path with him or wanted something from him. And he agreed.

But Oswald being Oswald, he double crossed her when he went to the GCPD to fetch Victor and organize his fake trial. Little bird sent her on a mission at the opposite side of Gotham to make sure she wouldn't try anything against him. 

But Y/N being incapable of trusting anybody in town fully, she put hidden cameras and micros all around Oswald's hideout and found out his little beheading plans. She called Jim and demanded him to save her man, since she saved his cop's ass a hundred times before. 

If not, ha-ha, she would destroy the whole city, only keeping him alive to watch the massacre. But no pressure, of course. 

The fact that Oswald double crossed her didn't bother her too much to be honest, she suspected it. What enraged her was the fact he swore to not do anything without her.

Promises are a serious deal for her. And Oswald, Victor, Ed, Jim and everyone knowing her enough in Gotham knew that. If the woman promised something - which was pretty rare - she always honored her word, thanks to Carmine and the mafiosi she grew up with. 

She thought Oswald would have this kind of nobility in him too. Don't get me wrong, he has it, but lose it quickly when things become personal, like they were with Victor. That was her mistake.

Anyway, it didn't change the fact that Penguin swore something and didn't keep his word. This action brought Y/N, Oswald, and her frenemy's relationship to a turning point, the weak balance they had definitely leaning on the bitter and hating side.

⨠ Contrary to Oswald's hot-tempered personality, Y/N is a practical and - in a way -level headed woman. She still thought Oswald was the best choice to rule the city because of his mafia years and how he was able to adapt what he learnt from the bests - Falcone, Maroni, Fish, Nikolaï - to the new crime era the city entered in.

But she won't ever work for him like she did or try to rebuild the bond they had. Her 'trust' was definitely broken and if the two have to work together, she would be extremely cautious around him and make sure to prepare extra detailed contracts, preventing him to double cross her. 

They would be business allies or foes and she would keep it that way, cutting all emotional strings they had.

⨠ They eventually might share them again, only if Oswald saves her or Victor's life on an impulse because they have history. Like when he protected Ed from the grenade, without planning something with his action.

I hope it wasn't too long and makes some sense 😅Have a beautiful day / night and take care my dear 💐

[oh-so-heavenly]

I don't want this series to end also I saw some stuff on Tumblr and I know this is gonna be emotionally devastating so I'm terrified

Okay I'm so not ready for this

I love how Mary has this widow club <3

"While we're fortunate he survived his ordeal" jsjsjs please

DOUG

I love how Izzy is trying to make it seem as if Ed isn't devastated about the break-up

JIM AND OLU JIM AND OLU JIM AND OLU

NOT ED BEING SAD :(

"i'm in the blanket fort" he represents me sm

HE'S WEARING STEDE'S CLOTHES :(

"i wrote some lyrics" ahsjkdkskaksjd

HE'S SO SAD THE SONG IS SO SAD I CAN'T-

Lucius is just free therapy™

"something entirely fictional" me when i design every oc

NO PLEASE HE CAN'T CRY :(

IF HE CRIES I'LL CRY

I know Stede is sad that his wife and kids went on without him but FUCK WHY CAN'T HE GO BACK TO ED RN

"There's a sock on the door!!" "I don't know what that means!!" Kasjjskakdf

ED'S SINGING SAD SONGS :(

"his name is Blackbeard or Captain" shut up Izzy he's having a hard time, shut the fuck up

"Guys the sheer level of talent we have on this ship" I need an AU fic where all is the same except they are broke theater students trying to write a play about gay pirates

"what's Blackbeard like?" "He's absolutely lovely" he's so in love and so stupid

Stede is so dramatic when talking about death I love him

THEY ARE HIS FANS

"you know we share our thoughts on the ship" say it with me guys: we talk it through, as a crew

THAT'S IT ED JUST MAKE IZZY SHUT UP

i actually like Izzybut he's too much and intense and I can't put up with him when he's constantly making it hard for ed and stede to be together

"unhand me or bleed" shut up you idiot <3

SHE'S GOING TO DO IT???

"a gun would wake the kids" ajdhdjahejkk she's great

THEY ARE SITTING TOGETHER AND TALKING ABOUT IT

NOT THE FLASHBACKS ABOUT ED AND STEDE TOGETHER THIS IS SO SAD I CAN'T

"i hope you find that" "i think i have" assfgkgkhhkkh

"HIS NAME IS ED" <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I CAN'T-

NOT THE SILK HIS MOTHER GAVE HIM

THAT'S IT I'M CRYING

#did he just throw Lucius overboard?? #what

I am blaming this one on Izzy

If he had just shut his mouth >:(

HE'S GETTING EDGY AND EMO AGAIN :(

#did he just cut Izzy's toe?? #well deserved but weird anyway??

FUCK YOU IZZY DON'T YOU DAre be happy about this

HE'S THROWING AWAY THE BOOKS :(

"Blackbeard is himself again" you mean he's emotionally unavailable and feels miserable and unlovable?? Then yes

Stede how can you be so happy when Ed's so in pain ;-;

"besides, everyone's had a go at killing me but me. I'd like a shot" ahajsjd shut up you dramatic bastard

THEY ARE GOING TO USE NED

I can't believe Ed is leaving them behind

Fuck off Dizzy Izzy

"what's wrong with your face" I'm asking the same questions here

THEY ARE KEEPING A PIECE OF THE ORANGE THAT'S SO BEAUTIFUL

Not the jungle cat

Not the piano on top of that akdjdjja

HE'S ON HIS WAY TO FIND ED

I CAN'T BELIEVE THE SEASON IS GONNA END LIKE THIS

"and now free" yes he is <3

I can't handle Ed being like this

He's gone back to drinking again :(

NOT THE LIGHTHOUSE ;-;

OH NO HE'S CRYING I CANT HANDLE THIS I'M CRYING

Not Buttons trying to commit cannibalism again

THAT'S STEDE

HE'S BACK

I NEED ANOTHER SEASON NOW

I NEED THE HAPPY GAY PIRATE SHOW BACK :( :( :(

More highlights: episode one / episode two / episode three / episode four / episode five / episode six / episode seven / episode eight / episode nine / episode ten