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#if i can figure out how to do that i can die happy
tinaotaku · 2 days
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Yandere childe and a clingy reader?
👉👈
Note: hewwo hewwo everyone. It's been a while, isn't it?
YANDERE! Childe (Genshin Impact) x Clingy! GN! Reader
"Love, I'm home!" Childe screamed with excitement in his tone as he opened the door to your shared house. You got up from the sofa and ran to him. Childe, who knew your personality very well opens his arms and lets you embrace him. "Ajax! What took you so long? I'm about to die from boredom!" You jokingly complained in his chest. Missing him very dearly, you took a huge sniff and sighed. Childe chuckles loudly, his chest shaking from happiness.
"Dear, I told you I have some business to attend! Besides, I am sure I didn't take that long. Anyways, what would you like to have for dinner?"
You took a moment before lifting your head from his chest and look straight at his eyes. "Shouldn't you take a shower first? You smell... weird," You pouted.
"Oh," Childe said, his tone wavering, "But I know you'll love me anyways, am I right?" Childe followed up quickly with a dumb smile on his face. Your face quickly reddens up before snorting.
"Oh, hush!" You exclaimed, shyly. Then, you push his chest gently before pulling his hand and walking towards the bathroom. "Come on, you have to clean yourself before dinner or would you like it if I clean you up instead?" Childe, happy to see his partner being happy and clingy, lets you do your thing. Though, his heart is saying otherwise.
I can't let them know, Childe thought to himself. He took a look at your excited figure then shook his head. It's better if they don't know anything.
You stop before the bathroom door before pushing his figure inside. "Okay, wash up, handsome boy. I'll prepare dinner instead. You had a long day, didn't you?" Before Childe can respond, you close the door on his face and happily walking away, Childe stops in his track and after making sure your footsteps fading bit by bit, he turn and walk towards the sink.
As he stands there, he glances at his reflection before unbuttoning his shirt. A stab wound on his stomach, wrapped in bandages, can be seen. It looks far from pretty—especially the wound reopened when you hugged him so tightly. Yet, Childe is smiling.
KNOCK KNOCK
"Dumb motherfucker picked the wrong person to fight," Childe commented, opening his bandages. "He can't just stalk my partner and live to see another day. It was funny to see him struggle. Honestly, who brought a knife with them at all time? Yet he lost after I stabbed him with the same knife he brought,"
Childe, looking at his naked wound closed his eyes. "Though this stab wound... how am i supposed to explain this to them?" Childe sighed, his head aching from trying to think of all the possible ways to explain this to you. He didn’t want to make you worry, after all.
"LOVEEEEE! I can't decide if you want noodles or rice for dinner. Any idea?" You voice pops up which makes Childe turn around and stare at the door. He take a deep breath to conceal his nervousness, "I think rice is fine, love! Give me 15 minutes, I'll join you soon,"
"Okay!" You responded and walked away,
Childe sighed before looking at his wound. "Recover fast, would you? I don't want them to be sad,"
-FAST FORWARD-
Once he steps into the dining room, he heard the main door closed shut and saw you walk from the living room with concern in your eyes.
Childe opened his eyes to see the rising sun from the window. He sits down and rub his eyes.
It seems like I woke up later than usual, Childe thought. He glanced to your side, only to find you missing. Childe brushed it off, assuming you were making breakfast. Even though he couldn’t smell anything, he still walked to the dining room, trying to figure out where you might be.
"Love? What's wrong?" Childe quickly asked, rushing to your side. You can't help but to gently putting your head on his chest, something you usually do when you're stressed or sad. Childe knew something was wrong and embraced your figure.
You whispered after a bit, "My ex died..."
"Love, oh, I'm sorry to hear that..." Childe whispered back and kissed your forehead.
"I heard from his friends that he had multiple stab wound on his body and died from blood loss... Love, I-"
"Shh," Childe quickly shutting you up and hugging you closer. "I'm sure he's in a happier place now, Love. Come, I'll make you breakfast, how does that sound?" His eyes filled with happiness as he now know that the person he murdered yesterday was your ex.
You took a moment before nodding. "I don't feel like doing anything today. Can you accompany me just for today?"
Childe push your body slightly and nods. with a smile. "Everything for my love!"
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trashabilly · 7 months
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yall i spent a good hour tryna figure out how to crochet a chain stitch (i was following a tutorial) and let me just say.. what the fuck
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alsojnpie · 7 months
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hey. um. i love him
#O_O i really love him#it's getting warmer every day and i can't draw him in a sweater for much longer#by the way. is this site going to. yknow. die#sigh........i kept telling myself I'd get better at it one day#kind of like the way i tell myself i can get together courage to speak up but i never do#using another website just sounds so depressing#im not good at social media. im tired of pretending like i can get good at it#but you can't even pretend like you can jump into a conversation if no one is having a conversation#i wanted to be part of a community here but i never could figure out what belonging looked like or how i could do it#and maybe it's my fundamental misunderstanding of that that prevents it but how can i understand it without experience#I'm so jealous of everyone who looks like they achieved what i couldn't even put my finger on. but since i didn't even understand it#i can't even be sure what exactly im jealous of#the other day i walked past a trio of friends and they had their arms around each other and were laughing as they walked#and i felt really strongly that even though I've always wanted a friend like that I'm actually fundamentally incompatible with that.#there's several reasons#but it made me feel really sad. but it made me feel a little better too. i guess it's really not my fault. maybe. i don't really know#in that moment it felt very much like something that was not my fault. and it was nice and sad at the same time#idk what's going to happen here. but one thing i know for sure is that i can have a happy tomorrow. no matter what#no matter what i have to give up on. i can find joy in other things. even in myself#and if there's one idea that he is about. it's that one
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mukuberry · 6 months
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you;re having a normal one about round 6 huh?
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famewolf · 1 month
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for so long all I wanted to do was die but now that I'm older, all I worry about is dying too soon. too soon to experience all the things I didn't give myself time for when I was young. I don't want to spend these years overthinking what time I have left
#[static]#wild how the brain shifts#i want to live i want to experience everything i can and i never thought i'd make it this long#my brain has done a 180 and it's always on the back of my mind (and sometimes the front) that i could die in the blink of an eye#im not scared of death but i am scared of not having lived#my ptsd/ocd combo has been pummeling me lately and i feel like im sometimes at a breakthrough where ive figured out a way-#-to stop being scared ... to just allow myself to live without the what ifs.#i do it in practice but the reality is that no matter how nonchallant and down to earth I appear in real life-#-my brain is picking apart the resolve i've carefully put together for myself#it's like constantly picking at a wound that's begun to heal and i cant get myself to stop#it's Exhausting having to continuously catch ones self from falling further back down the hole your younger self dug#im finally living as the person i always wanted to be and nothing can take that from me even if it were to all come crashing down tomorrow#but im still not used to the stability so that's why my brain does what it does best#what's three or four years of stability to decades of being in fight or flight ... it will take time and it's hard work#but i know with time it will be worth it and i wont remember the dread in the back of my skull every time i experience happiness#i'll just remember the days as they were ... and they are wonderful#just needed to vent for a moment! mental health is such a surly thing
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sofarsogoodsowhat · 2 years
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two y/o stick n poke finally looks cool >:)
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undefeatablesin · 1 year
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Incredibly and unfathomably emo about Maria and Adeline lately so idk what to do about that (take a wild guess as to what in fact I will do about that.)
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narutomaki · 6 months
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get me OUT OF HERE
#this is about fucking. shipping. fucking orochimaru. get out of this polycule all of you shoo!!! go!!!!#STOP HAVING BABIES AND BEING HAPPY AND GOOEY!!!! STOP!!!!!! YOURE RUINING ME!!!!!!!!!#the fucked up little version of Obito ive made tho and his fucked up little niche of functionally immortal reincarnated body sharing#its like ive made him cat nip for Orochimaru. i was JOKING INITIALLY RIGHT??? I WAS LIKE#HAHA OROBITO HAHA HA HA HAAA FUCKING HELP MR#IM IJ HERE NOW LIKE OH YEAH AND GENE SPLICING IS SOMETHING OROCHIMARU HAS EXPERIENCE IN#AND GIVING HIM THIS AS A HEALYHY OUYLET AND MAKING HIM A MOTHER IN ONE FELL SWOOP#Obito has like 15 kids by the time Miho is created so shes not going yo be his heir (his heirs mother was an Uzumaki he hit it off with and#asked to have a kid with young (17) so shes 14 by the time the main series begins)#any way. Kakuzu being like ok you can have a chold under this roof but i will not be responsible in any way for it#and then holding Miho exactly once and going like 'oh i get why mothers die for their babies now'#Kisame takes the longest to warm up to her which surprises him bcus he gets along well with the rest of Obitos children#(Obito is like well. fuck you guys. Uchiha clan in Ame time and offers people contracts like in situations of fertility he adopts the mother#and father into his clan and turkey basters it (okay no he does send them to the hospitla but) and otherwise offers#a home a name etc for agreeing to join as either a civilian clan member or to have a child of his and some of the#second parents are like oh fuck yeah i want a kid but not a relationship/my husband is infertile/whatever and raise the child#as their own with very lityle input from Obito but some Obito has raised / was raising essentially on his own (such as his heir whos mother#didnt want to be in a relationship with Obito but wanted to test out motherhood and found she Could Not Do It and is now#more of an estranged aunt figure but 14 y/o doesnt have much bad blood about it bcus she has The Scariest Step Dad squad and#is 1000% creepy teen girl coded and it gets validated in sooo many capacities. cant do unethical experiments on mice when one of your step#fathers can bring you into the lab and teach you how to actually do the work and deal with an ethics commity that yes we have to#otherwise your father gives us the neutral but disappointed face)#ANY WAY#CAN YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN ?? LET ME THE FUCK OUT!!! LET ME OUY LET ME OUT HELP SOMEONES FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUC
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I'm allergic to so many foods there may literally be no feeding tube formula that I can have ahahaha
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sexyleon · 1 year
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I officially completely unplugged myself as much as I can 🙃🙃🙃 I’m way too reliant on my phone and waiting for people to talk to me is super unhealthy and has made me very anxious. I literally turned off ever single possible notification and will purposefully not be responding to messages because I just need time a space to figure out how to navigate myself without validation from others.
#plz no sexyleon#life update basically#I’ll still be using tumblr and stuff and I’ll probably reply to things on here#but I likely wont be responding to direct messages#I just???? I’m too clingy and needy and I feel reliant on the people I talk to for any sort of social interaction to be happy#I gotta figure it out because my mental health is in the shit and I can’t be reliant on others for stability#and I didn’t even really notice that’s what was happening until all my friends were busy on the same day and I really just needed someone#anywyas sorry this is complicated I just needed to vent in the void#also for my mutuals who I talk to all the time this is why I’m afk and I’m sorry I love you very much I just have to figure it out#why am I insane and hoping people try to reach out to me anyways??? just to say they are here if I need anything?? like I do to them????#idk this is why I gotta stop#im the loneliest bitch in the world but I really can’t be anymore I gotta be alone in this bitch but not lonely#or I need to make friends with my loneliness and we can tackle the world together#otherwise im not going to survive#my anxiety is out of the roof and I constantly feel like I’m having heart palpitations#I literally think I’m going to die sometimes#I used to say I’d prefer the anxiety over the depression because I know how to navigate anxiety#well guess what my anxiety evolved like some sort of mega Pokémon and now it’s kicking my ass and I don’t have any idea how to defeat it#sorry for venting
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vulpinesaint · 2 years
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yeah. gosh. fourteen year old me would be so happy to know that we are where we are now.
#i have to dress edgier. for him#seriously though… the metamorphosis a body can undergo#my best friend was so right when they said that my face shape has changed. i grew a jaw out of Nowhere#and the things that letting your hair grow out a little will do for you…#fourteen year old me would be so happy to know that we look at ourself in the mirror and feel good.#feel right.#that we’ve gotten things correct that we’ve gotten a binder that we can see past what other people might see.#i definitely looked trans (child) then. but i look trans (hot young adult) now. and it would be such promise for them.#if they could know the kind of things i wear… oh they would lose it.#we got some fashion stuff down baby me. we got it figured out.#turns out you just have to figure out how to wear that dress shirt in a way that emphasizes the right things.#god i love you little me. you’d be so fuckin happy to see us now#and thirteen year old me… oh gosh. babe you’d be so happy to know that we finally figured out what was wrong.#we figured out why nothing meant for girls ever looked right on us.#and your future doesn’t look how maybe you thought it’d look. but it looks so fucking good#sending so much love out to past selves. kissing elementary school me on the cheek.#it’s okay not to be a tomboy. you get to be something even cooler than that when you grow up. promise.#and middle school me you WILL use tumblr and listen to mychem and dye your hair black + have long fringe that falls in your face.#don’t let the dream die. we’ll get there one day.#you don’t look Emo but you look like you. which is even better.#sentimental in this chilis tonight. everybody hold my hands so we can sing kumbaya or something#OH GOSH. MIDDLE SCHOOL ME… you wear a lot of black and children Do have to ask if you’re a boy or a girl…#you’re getting closer to those 2015 ‘i got mistaken for a boy in the grocery store’ textposts all the time. promise. the dream comes true.#all those adam lambert music videos you’re watching right now are gonna pay off one day mark my words fjskfj#valentine notes
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mercurymacaroons · 2 months
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please god just take it
long time no post, sorry for the hiatus but lmao my rl job threw me through the ringer and then whoops!!!!!! didnt draw for 2+ years. im in a new job now and found out that my settings for clip were fucked up so i did some messing around and now i am having a blast so yeehaw.
this was supposed to be a nose sketch then it somehow turned into the smtv nahobino idk what happened. for a while he looked like chad from accounting but i think i salvaged it kinda maybe. def need to do some more studies on asian people bc it is def not right but i didnt really use any references so thats on me. i dont think im going to finish this, hence the ss, but maybe i will one day. i just wanted to post something since ive started drawing again and should probably dust this blog off at some point
anywho, morbid ordeal of being known aside - if any of yall are still here, do you wanna see just like sketches like this? maybe not this detailed bc that damn nose took too damn long, but i think i could do sketches and thumbnails
#digital art#sketch#look i know i already waxed poetic in my read more but this is my blog lmao#and therefore my diary that you all can read#its so nice to draw again ngl#idk where all the energy went but at least theres this#found out i love drawing noses#on a prev sketch dump that i may or may not post also found out i love drawing ears#still cannot draw hands#maybe ill tackle that after i figure out hair bc arguably#the hair sucks#its not as nicely rendered as my lovingly drawn nose#also can i just say smtv and smtvv did NOT need to put all that detail in#its nice in game and i love the glowing bits but its ass to draw and my heart goes out to every cosplayer#almost as bad as genshin designs idk how those go together and im scared of their power#you dont need all that#like the new form?????????? that mask is the bane of my existance#all that detail i went insane trying to figure it out#maybe bc its hot as hell and i hate going outside ill do some studies and post them#be honest would yall wanna see that#itll probably be fanart studies bc i have brainrot but i do need to practice different angles and also hands maybe feet#should also learn how to color bc i also hate coloring#like i can do it but shading is beyond me once we get colors#everything feels too bright but also i like the too bright you know??#if i could get away with graphite forever i think id die happy#yadda yadda i know its my art and i can do what i please but bestie the algorithm#not that i should post for the algorithm i should post/draw for myself but the validation of number go up (also working to overcome this)#sorry for all the yapping#i am king of the yappers expect my long ass commentary on everything i post
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toyogamii · 2 months
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pt. 1
“so this is how you thank me for finding his stuffie?” you tease. sukuna shoots you a glare and hoists yuuji up onto his shoulders.
“you seemed to like the little brat so much, figured you might wanna see him again.”
you grin and wave at the toddler sitting happily on his brothers shoulders. yuuji smiles widely and wiggles his little fingers at you.
“of course i wanna see him, he’s precious,” you coo. sukuna rolls his eyes, but he can’t help but feel his heart beat a little faster at how good you are with his baby brother.
you reach up and scoop yuuji into your arms. he squeals and giggles with glee.
“but i think maybe your big brother wanted to see me, hm?” you give sukuna a teasing smile. his face twists and he looks away.
“c’mon, the little brat likes going down the slide.”
he turns and briskly walks off, but he’s not fast enough for you to miss the pink on his cheeks that matches his messy hair.
cute, you think, he’s cute.
yuuji twists his way out of your arms and grabs your hand, dragging you to catch up with his brother. the little boy wraps his chubby fingers sukuna’s thumb and pulls you both to the slide.
when the two of you are finally worn out after over an hour of trying to keep up with yuuji’s energy; you both collapse onto a nearby bench together.
“damn,” you mumble, “his batteries just don’t run out.”
“heh, yeah. try keeping up with him every day,” sukuna says, stretching his arms over his head. you try to hide the way your eyes travel to his stomach as his shirt rises. you can see tattoos peeking out and his pink happy trail almost make your mouth water.
“take a picture it’ll last longer.”
you can feel your face heat up and your eyes snap up to meet his. he’s smirking and who he’s attractive.
what you can’t tell is that he’s about to die. watching you with yuuji, seeing your smile and laugh, you’re even prettier up close and not in the grocery store.
“as if,” you snort, turning away quickly. he brings his hand up and gently turns your face back to him.
“what do ya say we hang out sometime, without the brat?”
you gulp, his skin is hot against yours and your mouth feels dry.
“yeah… sounds good.”
pt.3
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snekdood · 3 months
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i just struggle to believe theres any ethical way to harvest meat. farm animal dying of old age? yeah. ok. sure. but farm animals aren't going to be perpetually dying of old age enough to fulfill the demand for their meats. you can make better and more convincing arguments to me for ethically harvesting eggs, wool and milk rather than meat.
#eggs? just supplement the chickens diet with more diverse foods to make up for the nutrients lost that they would otherwise have#if they were left to consume their own unfertile eggs#wool? well unfortunately we've already bred sheep to constantly grow wool so you kinda have to shear them for their own wellbeing#milk's a little harder to convince me w. but as long as you're not taking more than the calf needs then it should be generally ok.#the true crime however is how aurochs went extinct so that humans could benefit from them.#i don't think you can convince me that genetically altering animals for human benefit was ever a good idea. but we're here already.#so we gotta figure it out. i'm still disgusted about how we got here.#give me a convincing reason not to be. i do not marvel at the 'greatness and intellect of humanity' because all I see is people#using these animals as a means to an end. it feels the same to me as genetically altering dogs till they can hardly function.#wish people would just admit that this endeavor was done by the selfishness of humanity rather than try to fluff it up with#'well the animals can benefit too !!!' yeah but who benefits more and why do they deserve to benefit more#its fine to admit its done for self serving reasons. i'd respect you more if you did admit it.#humans do a lot of things for self serving reasons. the worst is when humans try to convince themselves thats Not the reason they#did something so blatantly self serving.#i think a lot of progressive types struggle to accept when they do things for self serving reasons. im not gonna pull a 'humans are#inherently selfish' on you but selfishness is very much a core part of being human and an animal in general. it's not what defines#us and it's not our only trait. we are a social species after all so it doesnt serve us to be purely selfish#but we do be being selfish still. we're not gonna be able to fully escape that behavior. you're not gonna be able to escape being#selfish by virtue of calling yourself progressive. it's impossible. just do your best to not be selfish but also dont deny when you are#honesty with yourself and what you're like is important. you're never going to be a pure perfect good moral person ever.#and convincing yourself all your actions are ones of Morality is Not the way you should go about ANYTHING ever#its why instead of letting yourself be kinda sad about an animal having to die to feed you you somehow try to convince yourself#that the animal wanted it or needed it or benefited somehow. it didn't. and thats ok to acknowledge. you're not an inhuman monster#for eating a dead animal. that doesn't mean it cant be sad. that doesn't mean you dont pay your respects. be sad it happened#and at the same time thankful for the animal feeding you. dont skip with glee about its sacrifice bc thats just fuckin.... weird...#a lil unhinged......... 'im so glad you're dying for me :)))))))' like.... girl what#not that you cant be happy to be fed just like.... dont sound like a serial killer about it in your inner monologue.............
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secondpersonpoetry · 8 months
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Franziska Linkerhand, Brigitte Reimann
#do you ever start reading a novel and not even get past the first page before shrieking 'LEON'#incredibly niche content. this is for real just for me#and i understand this HOWEVER it bothered me and rotated in my brain so much i NEEDED to come put this here. stupid!!! hrrrggggghhhrrrh!!!!#and i was just going to put the verdreifachen line and i'm not happy with how it's edited but it's FINE everything's fine it's just.#LEON.#and like granted does this totally hold true no i don't think so it just slots into the terrible terrible universe of quotes i have for him#but i can't articulate it right. also we're throwing this into the Heimat thesis breakdown pile for leon &wherever the brainworms r crawlin#<- that is the one i mean thank you. yelling into the void ash & alice u will never be forgiven for starting this ily#ich möchte mein Leben verdreifachen / um nachzuholen / die lange lange Zeit / als es dich nicht gab#do i put this on the actual hockey blog to have the breakdown there and figure out what i mean? maybe.#but then i KNOW i'd have to translate it so people can read it and already i wouldn't know if i want to say my life in triplicate#or my life thrice over and if it's there was no you or you weren't there. save me translation theory save me (smacks me with a steel chair)#also it is SO raw.#i'm not afraid of the present but the memories i can't fight back against the pictures in ur head i can't see a pain i did not share w/ u..#and i do think the reason it hits so hard as a c/l to me is maybe the idea of this not as i didn't know you then at all#but that they did grow up together. and it's that he didn't have him in the way he does now he doesn't know him like he does now and now#he has to think about the life he had with connor&he want to do it once / twice over now to know to make up for the time he missed with him#but it also falls into the one in every dream i have of you you are making breakfast that even when i dream i'm dreaming of you inside them#(the life thrice over)#anyway. multitude of others it could be however bc it's auf Deutsch it got assigned leon even if it may not fit as perfectly. OH TIME LOOPS#THE JAMIE/TREVOR DUAL TIME LOOPS FIC OH MY GOD YEAH THAT'S THIS HOW DID IT TAKE ME SO LONG TO GET TO TIME LOOPS WITH LIFE THRICE OVER yesss
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quilliums · 10 months
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U alive?
Eh kinda. I think I've been on tumblr maybe a handful of times in the last two or so months and I'll favorite a few things then leave again. To be real with you? It's all so fucking fake and empty to me anymore.
I very quickly got more done then I can put into words with pretty much everyone I follow and everyone who follows me and all of tumblr.
It's not going to sound good because I'm not going to sugar coat this or walk it back because that'll be useless. Everyone is just going to twist whatever I say at this point so here it is:
It is very telling that when I, a trans man, reblogged posts (and directly asked mutuals) to literally do nothing and not spend money on the new IPs that came out this year that actively use that money to harm trans people I was told to mind my business. That their personal blogs and spending habits have no impact on trans people and that my request to literally do nothing instead of spending money, again to DO NOTHING, to help trans people was unreasonable. But. But that's fine what ever. I'll just mind my business I guess and only reblog helpful stuff, positivity, and fandom. That's cool we'll all stay in our corners and that'll be the end of it. Nah tho. Because when I do nothing, when I don't want my blog, the one the very same people said shouldn't be concerned with suffering, taken over by literal live footage of children dieing and some of the most horrific things some how I'm actively participating in genocide.
When others actually participate in my suffering the request to do nothing is too much and how dare anyone even imply that makes them a participant in trans deaths. When I do nothing, on a god damn tumblr blog let's remember the stakes here and the difference between literally giving money to fund transphobia and me simply not reblogging something, in the face of others suffering I'm automatically an antisemitic hate mongering participant in a genocide.
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