#if i had to hazard a guess I'd say this was about a post I vaguely remember making like a year ago

[thedreadvampy]

Autism doesn't equate to neurodivergence, it's a developmental disability that's present from birth. And physically disabled people who are born disabled as a result of brain damage in the womb are more likely to have comorbid autism. Just because allistic people on social media have defanged autism and call every specifically autistic trait "neurodivergence" doesn't mean it shouldn't be considered the separate thing that it is. "Neurodivergent traits" don't exist. Able-bodied men with autism being annoying doesn't make it okay for allistic physically disabled people to downplay autism. Most of us who have multiple disabilities end up under conservatorships bc of how debilitating our autism is, combined with presumed incompetence due to being visibly disabled as well.

babe what are you talking about for real.

[ffsg0jo]

head cannon/drabble request for a love triangle between katuski bakugo, shoto todoroki and fem or gn reader please & thank yoooou! i love reading your works so much

a/n: thank you so much for your kind words and your request !! got super super inspired by this and thought id throw in a little twist, too :)) let me know your thoughts, and i hope you enjoy <33 this is mostly crack, though so let me know if you want a more serious version :))

i am taking requests and writing fics and matchups for gaza. check the linked post out to find out more !!

katsuki was seething. his teeth were bared, grinding against each other, the veins on his forehead and neck popping out. you could see him try and contain his anger, using the breathing techniques you helped him work on. but he looked like he was about to burst.

and right opposite him was shoto, slight smirk on his face from seeing katsuki's reaction. he was walking on a thin line, and everyone around them watched on knowing that.

you don't understand how the fight first started, but you just wanted it to end. whilst katsuki and shoto weren't exactly the bestest of friends, they had a mutual respect for each other and were on friendly terms. maybe even on the way to becoming good friends.

except now it looked like they were about to murder each other, staring each other down, standing almost nose to nose.

"what's going on," izuku whispered, coming to stand next to you and eyeing the scene warily. knowing both boys and the way shoto was slyly glancing at you, he could somewhat hazard a guess as to why the two were squaring up.

"izu you have to stop them," you whisper shouted back, your hand reaching for his arm. you did not want to get involved, but you still wanted the two to come to an agreement. they were your friends!

"you know why they're fighting, right?"

"no of course not, otherwise i would've tried to do something!"

izuku just looks at you and slightly laughs. he wonders how you've remained oblivious for so long. it's so obvious that both katsuki and shoto have a crush on you.

the former has a light blush painting his cheeks every time you come within a two metre radius of him. and the latter always buys you your favourite soft drink and leaves a little post-it note with his version of a joke stuck to it. and apparently, you just took it as them being friendly.

the green-haired boy puts both his arms around your waist and pulls you into him, kissing you all over your cheeks. he hopes they're both watching, just so they know where they stand.

"they both have a crush on you babe," he says between kisses. you barely register izuku's words still in shock over the way he's being so affectionate in public. sure you've both been dating for a couple of months now, but you agreed to keep it a secret, knowing what your friends were like.

you press yourself into izuku's firm body, relishing in his touch when you suddenly freeze, the words finally processing. you pull away and hold his arms, your mouth wide open in shock. izuku snorts at the look on your face. you were so adorable.

turning to look at katsuki and shoto you found that the two were no longer nose to nose, now staring at you in izuku's arms.

both your friends deflated and shared a self-pitying look with each other, embarrassment somewhat evident on their faces.

"how'd that nerd manage to bag (name)?"

"i'd like to know too. i was so sure they'd like me back."

"HA! fat chance, your ugly two faced ass could never."

"why are you still fighting? they're clearly already taken." shoto deadpans, glancing away from the scene in front of him and turning to face the blonde.

"yeah, you're right." katsuki says before pausing. his stomach all of a sudden rumbles. all that vein popping made him hungry. "wanna grab lunch? 'm starving."

"sure," shoto shrugged. now that he thought about it, he was hungry. "you pick."

it was like someone flicked a switch. from being seconds away from activating their quirks to walking away, discussing what to eat for lunch. you looked at your boyfriend again, eyebrows furrowing, totally confused by the last 10 minutes or so.

you were somewhat disappointed by the whole exchange. they both gave up so easily and didn't even try to fight for your hand. you would never have left izuku, but it was nice knowing you were wanted.

"hey, i can tell what you're thinking," your boyfriend playfully scowls, poking your cheek and demanding your attention. "am i not enough?"

you laugh and lean closer to him, softly pressing a kiss to his lips.

"you're all i've ever wanted and more, izuku."

© ffsg0jo 2024 — do not plagiarise, repost, modify, or translate any of my work, in any way shape or form; i will piss in your cereal if you do. all work belongs to me and me only.

[nakanotamu]

GOD okay, so. The Stardom Situation. I'm bored at work so I guess this is The Post. I was going to write my thoughts about the new stuff but then just summing everything up got so long and I never wrote that summary post I meant to so I think I'll make two posts instead. jk it's going to be three posts so here is the current situation post and my own personal thoughts about all this are here. Okay, so

Last year around April, then-Stardom president Harada takes Rossy off of booking and apparently stops listening to his advice. Harada sucked, he didn't get the appeal of pro wrestling, seemingly mostly trying to push it as advertising and going for things like their stupid NFT collab. He also pushes a schedule on the roster that isn't workable or healthy, leading to rampant injuries up and down the card. He stops listening to the roster - Giulia came out and said that Rossy's style of booking is to let the wrestlers start what stories they want to themselves, and then book what he thinks would be good from among that. But under Harada, matches just got booked out of the blue without even talking to the wrestlers about it. A particularly egregious example Giulia pointed out was when Ami challenged her for her title and she told her to earn a title shot. Then days later it's announced on twitter that Ami's title shot is coming up in two weeks. Giulia was vocal on twitter about it at the time, saying "What show are you watching?!" and I remember commenting a lot that it felt like Stardom was suddenly being booked by someone who wasn't even watching the shows. Beyond that even the matches themselves aren't being run by the wrestlers, with Giulia mentioning no one telling them what was in the boxes in the money ball match last year and the hazard that presented.

Now, some of this stuff may have been worked - like, I think probably Ami and Giulia knew they had a title match they were supposed to work up to, and the frustration isn't actually that Ami was given it before she "earned" it, but that they weren't given a chance to actually build the feud they were trying to. I think it's worth remembering during stuff like all this that in Japanese wrestling we get pretty much no pure "shoot" interviews or news like you'd get in America. None, like, for real please learn to understand that you shouldn't trust dirt sheets and that almost no one ever 100% shoots in puro. But that said, the interview Giulia gave about this stuff was pretty much the closest to shoot I had ever seen from a Japanese wrestler, short of, like, maybe when Ibushi came forward about what happened to him in New Japan.

On top of that, apparently from Harada on down, Bushiroad staff were incredibly dismissive of the wrestlers and largely ignored them, seemingly seeing themselves as the company and the actual roster as just, I don't even know, some disposable resource and not the entire reason any of them even had a job. Just very backwards thinking, that the real work is running the shows, but as long as you put a show on people will just come to see anybody. Which, lmao, well that didn't work.

This came out when Stardom had a holiday show that needed to be slightly rescheduled, its start time ended up being, iirc delayed by about two hours or something like that. Maybe not the biggest deal to us, but especially for a company trying to seem like a major player like Stardom, this was an extremely bad look. Roster members are extremely mad and start to come forward about not being told about anything like this even though it affects them and they have to be the public faces of it; Giulia even openly talks about trying to find out what had happened and getting completely brushed off by the staff member who had been in charge of arranging the venues. This incident was one of those things that seemingly got a huge reaction not just because it looked bad for the company but because it was the dam breaking. I'd suspected Stardom was having management issues and ended up being more right than I could have imagined.

Ultimately in November Harada is fired and they bring in a new president, Okada. (Not, not that one. Different Okada.) He's been booking since he came in at the start of December. Ultimately they didn't change the cards for the remaining Harada-booked shows or reschedule any of the shows that had already been announced at that point. This leads to Stardom's lowest show attendance ever, at an Osaka show that draws 114 people, thanks to running at 6pm on a Tuesday at a venue that while technically in Osaka could not realistically be reached in time by anyone trying to get there from Osaka proper after work. Rossy at this point is publicly disparaging Harada's choices and policies, and says the method of "just booking any available venue whenever you want and saying when the show is happening on social media can't continue".

It's still early into seeing how things are under Okada, but they seem better, not that better would take all that much. The overall sentiment seems to be, and I would agree, that the booking has already improved somewhat, with stories that are at least for now maybe a little too title-focused but do seem to have the wrestlers themselves more engaged. The schedule has also been a little bit lighter, not that Stardom was ever a particularly low-number-of-shows promotion, but less than last year. Bushiroad also said they would conduct a review of all Stardom staff members, including taking feedback from roster members and regular freelancers, though they wouldn't be able to publish any of the results of that publicly as it has to be dealt with by Bushiroad HR. So it seems like they're trying at least to turn things around, though too early to really say how it'll work out. That was the state of things up to last Sunday.

[nighttimeebony]

My reactions, thoughts, and predictions that I had while reading Percy Jackson: The Titan's Curse. At least the ones I bothered to write down. Spoilers below the cut. Also, fair warning, this one is way longer than either of my previous reaction posts. I had a lot of thoughts.

EDIT: part 1, part 2, part 4, part 5

I feel I should mention that the Percy Jackson books have objectively the best chapter titles

The mental image of Sally driving Percy and his friends to get their ass beat like it's just an after-school sports club is hilarious to me

Ooh, Thalia has hypnosis wind

So Thalia didn't age while she was in that tree? Because I remember she was much older than Annabeth at the time of her death, but now she, Annabeth and Percy are all the same age. Huh. Okay then.

NICO DI ANGELO!!! I've heard about you! You're gay! And he has a sister! Oh I am delighted and ready to love them!

Thalia insulting Grover's music taste.

ANNABETH IS TALLER THAN PERCY

Aww, Nico defending his sister.

OH SHIT, IS THORN A MANTICORE??!???!!

"They're not dolls! They're figurines!" Sure, sweetie.

CALLED IT

Bianca is great.

Oh my God, Nico, you beautiful nerd! XD

HUNTING HORN?!!?!!! SILVERY ARROWS?!!?!??? IS IT ARTEMIS?!!!! PLEASE TELL ME ITS ARTEMIS!!!!!

HOLY FUCK, ARTEMIS'S HUNTERS!!!!!!!

Zoë Nightshade is easily the most badass name I've ever heard in my life.

ARTEMIS!!!!!!!

Please tell me Annabeth is okay. I will not be okay until I know that she is

Oh my God, Nico! XD Also, chill, Percy, he's just a baby.

"Besides, I hear they rebuilt the cabins you burned down." Excuse me, what?!

Percy, leave Bianca be! Besides, you don't even know her! She can be a badass warrior hunter lady if she wants. What even are your hang-ups about Artemis's hunters? They saved your life.

Oh, wait, that's right. Camp Half-Blood needs more people to keep it protected. That's right.

Good for you, Bianca, but I can't say that I would ever leave my little brother to become an immortal virgin. No offense to them, but girl, your brother needs you. You may have a new family, but you're all he's got.

Oh, I love Artemis calling Apollo her annoying brother. Do we get to see them interact? I pray that we do.

Grover simping for Artemis is so valid.

Thalia thinking Apollo’s hot is so valid.

Apollo being an obnoxious kind-of hippy going through an anime phase is the greatest idea anyone has ever had. He's so stupid, I love him.

Apollo's comment about pretty girls turning into plants reminded me of the myth about the time where one of his boyfriends turned into a flower after he died. Hyacinthus. Because we cannot forget that Apollo is canonically bisexual. If Rick Riordan doesn't (at some point) acknowledge how gay ancient Greek mythology is, I'm going to riot.

Dating must be really weird at Camp Half-Blood. And between demi-gods in general, right? Because, technically speaking, they're all kind of related to each other. I guess it just works differently since the gods aren't human, so there's not the same case to be made about genetics and the potential for incest. Or maybe that only applies to kids who have the same god parent. Like how Percy sees Tyson as his brother. I’m wondering if the kids from other cabins feel the same way. Like, do kids from different cabins consider themselves siblings? Does Annabeth see the other kids from Athena’s cabin as her siblings? What does the dating scene even look like at Camp Half-Blood? Is it considered scandalous to date other members of your own cabin? Or do some people think it’s taboo or whatever to date other demigods in general? I don’t need sleep, I need answers!

Ohhh. Okay. So apparently Thalia has aged while she was in the tree, just very slowly. So if Percy is 14 and Thalia can pass as an 8th grader like him, and she should be somewhere between 12 and 19, if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say she's about 15 or 16.

Oh, hey, I was right. Thanks, Apollo.

Aww, poor Thalia. Lol. I was the exact same way when I drove for the first time. Literally had a panic attack on the spot, and I wasn't even controlling the Earth's temperature.

Yay, Tyson! I was worried we wouldn’t see him again until, like, the last book or something.

Aww, it’s so sweet that Tyson wants to see Annabeth. And it’s adorable how cool he thinks she is.

Wow, Luke really is an unbelievable bastard. Annabeth is smart, she was smart to question him, but when the rocks started to fall, her instincts drove her to protect Luke, because even though he’s an unbelievable bastard, Annabeth still can’t help but harbor positive feelings for her. For the longest time, he was family to her and she loved him, so of course those feelings are still there, even if she knows it’s illogical.

Wait. Annabeth is holding up the ceiling of a cave, which Percy acknowledges that she shouldn’t be able to do. So… is the cave ceiling actually the sky? Like how, in Greek mythology, the sky is held up by the titan Atlas? In the mythology, Heracles trades places with Atlas holding up the sky while Atlas helps Heracles complete one of his twelve labors, and when Atlas is about to leave, Heracles tricks Atlas into taking back the sky before bolting. Like how Luke tricked Annabeth into holding up the cave ceiling before leaving her alone to hold it by herself.

Okay, Grover, chill out with the stalking, bud.

I guess Grover and Annabeth take turns getting damsel-ed. Last book was Grover’s turn and this book is Annabeth’s turn.

Don’t worry, Percy, I forgot about that scarf too.

Okay, not liking how the Hunters are portrayed. Because when Artemis says to give up love, she only means romantic love, which is clearly not the only kind of love. Greek mythology practically invented the concept of differentiating and identifying different kinds of love. The Hunters should know that, but the way they act towards the other campers is really… I dunno, gross? They act like their way of life is the only way that matters, which is super fucked up coming from the people that follow Artemis.

“I wondered if there was any way I’d looked that ridiculous when I’d first arrived.” Percy, that was literally only two years ago, get off your high fucking horse. XD

Thalia static-shocking people when she’s annoyed is golden and I love her.

Oh, fuck.

OH, FUCK!

Oh, we love the prophecies… Yayyyy.

Okay, guessing time. Artemis is chained to a rock, which immediately made me think of Prometheus, the titan that gifted fire to humanity and was punished by Zeus to be chained to a rock and have an eagle eat his liver every day for eternity. But then the Oracle mentioned that one must withstand “The Titan’s Curse,” which could be another reference to Prometheus, but I don’t think so. Because in the myth, Heracles killed the eagle and freed Prometheus from his punishment, so I’m pretty sure it’s not that, but you never know. Then I remembered Annabeth and my prediction that she’s currently holding up the sky like the titan Atlas, and the Oracle said that “one must withstand.” Admittedly, my knowledge of Atlas and his mythos is shaky at best, and I don't remember him ever having a "curse", but I guess holding up the entire sky is about as "cursed" as it's possible to be. And the Oracle saying that “one must withstand” makes me think that something happened to Atlas, so now someone needs to hold the sky in his place or else the sky will collapse to the earth and the world will end, or something like that. So that’s my prediction, that someone will need to hold up the sky in Atlas’s place for the rest of, well, forever. I don’t have a guess as to who it could be, though.

Also, someone is apparently going to die. And be killed by their god parent. Awesome… Super looking forward to that inevitable heartbreak… I hope it’s not either of the di Angelo kids, but they’re both new characters, and I know Nico becomes more important later (purely by accident and through pop culture osmosis), and since I had no idea that Biance even existed until I started reading this book, I am terrified that that means Bianca is going to die. I pray that I am wrong.

Wow, Thalia is petty and I’m kind of living for it.

I love that the Stoll brothers are basically Greek Fred and George Weasley.

Wow, Zoë’s kind of a bitch. She won’t travel with Percy because he’s a boy, and apparently Grover doesn’t count as a boy because he’s a satyr. Super fucked up.

You know, Artemis did have male Hunters. It didn’t happen often in the mythology, but there was a pretty famous male Hunter of Artemis named Hippolytus. The thing about Artemis’s Hunters isn’t that men weren’t allowed to be Hunters, it’s just that men typically didn’t choose to be Hunters, because one of the reasons why Artemis’s Hunters joined her in the first place is because Artemis protected the women in her care from the sexist constraints placed on them by Greek society at the time. The reason why men didn’t typically become Hunters is because they didn’t need the same kind of protection and escape from Greek society that women did. And Artemis didn’t hate men on principal, she hated the fact that men were the ones who used their positions of power to discriminate against and abuse the women in their society.

Aww. Grover’s such a sweetheart.

I love Sally.

Percy has so many damn Dreams™ and nightmares I have to wonder if this kid ever sleeps.

Apparently Percy knows the names of the pegasi, which is adorable to me. And this one is apparently Blackjack, which is a great name for a horse.

Aww, I want a baby serpent cow.

Aww, Nico. He's precious and I love him. Protect this child at all costs

Oh, I know about Ariadne. Theseus ditched her on an island after she helped him navigate the labyrinth and kill the minotaur. That's how she met Dionysus. I'm pretty sure they got married not too long after.

Aww, Dionysus and Ariadne are still married. That'd be kind of sweet if Dionysus wasn't such an asshole.

Yup, I know about Medea too.

Did they really just give Dionysus the Snape treatment? He hates all heroes on principle because one of them was cruel to his wife? He thinks he’s justified in harassing children because they’re training to be heroes, and he thinks that all heroes suck? Wow, dude. Get a life.

Oh, cool, Bianca’s forgetting things now. Nothing sketchy or sinister about that, I’m sure.

Is the General the titan Atlas? If my earlier theory was right, then he's gotta be.

Excuse me, teeth?! Plant them?!

Oh, wait! I think I know what that’s talking about. In Jason’s myth, he had to yoke a field with the teeth of (if memory serves) fire-breathing oxen. I don’t remember what planting the teeth did, but I’m guessing it wasn’t anything good.

HAH! Saber-toothed tiger kitties popped out

The General talks about mortals the same way I talk about fanfiction and anime

OH FUCK THE NEMEAN LION

“Sometimes mortals can be more horrible than monsters.” Truth.

Wait… what’s going on with Bianca? There’s something fucky going on with her memory.

“‘Bianca,’ Zoë said. ‘How long ago…’ Her voice faltered.” FOR FUCK’S SAKE, RICK!

Ain’t no way this friendly homeless guy isn’t some kind of hell monster.

Oh. I stand corrected. Not a hell monster. Probably a god. The gods love disguising themselves as old people to test mortals

The Mountain of Despair. Sounds fun. I wonder if this is the mountain Prometheus was chained to, since it’s powered by titan magic and all that.

Ladon… I know that name. I recognize that, but I can’t for the life of me remember his myth or anything about him.

*in reference to one of Percy's dreams* Oh, wait. Is this Jason and Medea?

Oh, nope. It was Zoë. I figured she had some kind of bad break with a boyfriend or something, but I dismissed it at first because I figured she was too young. But I guess if she was around during ancient Greek times, that sort of thing doesn’t matter.

Oh, hey! I once visited Cloudcroft, New Mexico! It was a nice little place.

“I was never very comfortable talking one-on-one with girls anyway…” Okay, Percy, you and I both know that is a lie. Annabeth is, like, your best friend.

"'Bianca,' I said. 'That hotel you stayed at. Was it possibly called the Lotus Hotel and Casino?'" Oh no.

Seventy years?!

Oh, fuck.

99% sure Aphrodite is the one in the car.

WAIT, HOLD UP! IF BIANCA AND NICO WERE BORN MORE THAN 70 YEARS AGO, THAT MEANS THEY WERE BORN BEFORE THE BIG 3'S OATH, RIGHT?! SO DOES THAT MEAN MY THEORY ABOUT HADES BEING THEIR GOD PARENT IS RIGHT?!?!??!! OHHHHHHH, SHIIIIIITTTTT

"When she smiled at me, just for a moment she looked a little like Annabeth." AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Aphrodite is the patron goddess of shippers.

What the hell, Aphrodite, chill, lady.

"You act like it was real." Percy, this is Greek mythology. Every single star/constellation was either a person or an animal before this whole mess.

"It... it was for Nico. It was the only statue he didn't have." OH MY GOD!! ToT

"If anything happens, give that to Nico. Tell him... tell him I'm sorry." WHY??!!?!?? LITERALLY DON'T!!!!!

"Here we were in the desert. And Bianca di Angelo was gone." WHAT THE FUCK?!!??!!! WHY DO YOU HATE ME!???!!??

No, but please tell me she's not dead. The prophecy just said "lost", not dead. And there's no body, so she could still be alive. Rick hasn't killed anybody yet, Bianca cannot be the first. I refuse.

The Hesperides! That's why Ladon sounded so familiar! He was the dragon!

"'But--' Gurgle, gurgle, the naiad spoke in my mind." RICK!!!!!! FINISH YOUR GODDAMN SCENES FOR ONCE!!!!! THIS IS THE KIND OF STRESS AND ANTICIPATION THAT MAKES PEOPLE LOSE HAIR!!!!

I like that Grover, Percy and Thalia actually listened to Annabeth ramble about her special interest enough that they can just recall random facts like that. It's an adorable little friendship detail, but also fucking sad. I miss Annabeth.

Hah. "Dam". Let these kids swear. They deserve it.

"'Nah,' I said. 'Not that high.'" Aww, Percy's a good friend.

Hah. Statue fucking.

Oh no! Is Bessie the monster! No! But she's so cute!

PLEASE DON'T KILL THE BABY COW SNAKE

"'This is Atlas's mountain,' Zoë said." LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOO

"'Yes,' Zoë said bleakly. 'Atlas is my father.'" THE GAME JUST FUCKING CHANGED

*after finishing chapter 18* ......... Fuck, man.

Wait, why isn't Hades a part of the Twelve Olympians? And why haven't we heard any mention of Demeter's demigod children? I can't remember the last time the Demeter Cabin was even mentioned, if it ever was.

Well, I guess Thalia joining the Hunters is a pretty roundabout way to have the prophecy be about Percy.

"But I will be watching, Percy Jackson. I do not approve of your friendship with my daughter." Well, then you're gonna hate what happens later.

Aww. Percy and Annabeth have matching battle scars. Sort of. Still sweet.

Oh, no, Nico.... Baby.....

"It was a statue of Hades, Lord of the Dead." OH FUCKING SHIT

"A son of Hades." OH FUCKING SHIT

HOLY SHIT, PAN HAS ENTERED THE CHAT

[drconstellation]

I've had this sitting in my drafts box going now where for a while, but thought I'd drag this pair of cheeky bastards out today and clean them up.

So I originally saw someone do a post about Aziraphale making a "tongue-in-cheek" gesture to Crowley about "the Clue" when he was asking to take the Bentley to Edinburgh in S2E2. Just "pop up there myself and investigate." This is just after he just "popped up" from behind the Bentley to investigate whether he could take it himself to Edinburgh? That's bold of you, you cheeky angel!

He's already been teased by Crowley for calling it a Clue with a capital C, (and why we should be wary of Clues)

but Aziraphale is pretty sure he on to something here, as shown to us by the following few seconds (see screenshots below, note there is another tongue-in-cheek moment here at the beginning), just after the archangels leave the book shop in S2E2 having questioned him over the cause of the 25 lazurii miracle. He puts on the single of "Every Day" he got from Maggie to listen to while he examines newspaper clippings from around the world in different languages, each of them reporting about this strange occurrence in Edinburgh where a jukebox "miraculously" seems to turn every record put into it into Buddy Holly's "Every Day:

The parallel "tongue-in-cheek" moment from Crowley happens in S2E1, during the chat with Lord Beelzebub in Hell, while he is lounging across the two thrones that they have installed in their office (and if you are wondering about the thrones there is a nice little post about them here).

Here's what Beelzebub is saying just beforehand:

Well, that's one way of putting it...Crowley knows Gabriel has "vanished" not once, but twice! Firstly in body and secondly his memory has vanished, too. Oh boy. But Crowley is in a dangerous situation here so he's he's acting in his cool-but-alert mode.

Then Crowley uses this lovely, slightly archaic, expression:

"It's a big universe, lots of places an archangel on the lam could have a wonderful time and never be seen again."

"On the lam" is a term that means "in flight from the authorities." In flight? Get it? Go Roger the Stunt Fly! Bwahahaha! Tongue in cheek, indeed, Crowley. *snort*

I would also hazard a guess that the second half of that sentence is a second ref to the Hunting of the Snark in S2E1 (I propose that there one to do with the Eccles cakes here). Gabriel has gone hunting his Snark and accidentally tripped up in front of a Boojum, and has "softly and suddenly vanish[ed] away, and [may] never be met with again."

[law-d-water-trafalgar]

SFW

You meet up with Law, boyfriend Law, Punk Hazard Arc

Context: You have the Calm-Calm fruit and eventually meet up with Law only to join his crew from the Strawhats crew. Some parts Zoro wants to be with you.

Some minor plot holes minor mistakes.

This is a long ass post, took me forever episode by episode <3

50 likes for a Part 2 Dressrosa Arc

Currently working on Part 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ever since you could remember your devil fruit was lame.

-☆-

You were living out in the North blue when the Strawhats recruited you. You had so many adventures with them from going underwater to the sky.

Forward to right before being teleported from Sabaody.

" Let's all meet back here in two years! Were not strong enough yet!" you heard Luffy yell right before Kuma palms you out of existence.

-☆-

Feeling like your coming back to life, your eyes flicker open only to see medical equipment.

"Am I dead?" you quietly ponder to yourself. Trying desperately to sit up you snag something on yourself loose and you hear a long low tone beep. You all ready knew what it was a heart monitor. 'So I'm safe?' you thought to yourself.

Suddenly you hear "Shambles" low and behold to your surprise.

"So your awake Strawhat. Thought you may not make it. You had multiple broken bones and internal bleeding." Law states looking at you from left to right. Then giving you a check up.

" First off my names (n) I have a name. And secondly I'm assuming you helped me so thank you very much. But how did I get here? My memory is fuzzy." You blurt out then mentally slap yourself for being rude to him.

He looks at you for a second before answering.

"You fell on my sub. Do you not remember anything before it happened?" Law asks quizzically.

You cock your head to the side thinking while he unplugs all the cords attached to you. Then it hits you!

"We were in Sabaody then Kuma showed up and teleported us to different locations I'm just guessing here but I think he meant for us all to go to different locations but I'm unsure. Why would he teleport me to you?" You ask intuitively.

Law stays silent for a solid minute then says.

"I'm not sure why but considering that you were in a coma for 3 weeks I'd guess that's why. Otherwise you would have died from exposure." Law states bluntly.

"I was what for 3 weeks?!!" You yell panicking. You thank him again for his service and he nods at you as a your welcome.

"Well Kuma must have done this for a reason. I know! would it be okay to join up with you until I have to go back? I can help with many things I helped Chopper with paperwork all the time." You exclaim. Taken aback from your loudness Law thinks for a minute.

" I suppose I could use the help and your all ready here" He states defeated but not showing it, knowing hes backed up on his paperwork.

"Yay! you wont regret this I promise" you beam at him with such a cute face causing him to gain a light pink over his face then it fades as soon as it appeared.

-☆-

And that's how you joined up with Trafalgar Law.

-☆-

One year and a half later. You and law have grown quite close well close to you considering you are distant with everyone. But you've made friends with Bepo, Penguin and Shachi also with most of the crew. Close like being able to talk about your feelings close at least with Law.

-☆-

"Let's gather supplies everyone (n) that includes you too" You hear Law say. You reluctantly obey.

After awhile of collecting herbs and plants off the island you sit down on a log deep in the clearing snap your fingers and say " silence" as you start to sing knowing you've done a good job of collecting so you can relax for a little while. Soon however you forget the time.

-☆-

Laws POV

' Where is (n)? She should be back by now. I better go look for her' you think quietly to yourself as you walk off the Polar Tang in search of a (color) haired woman.

After some time and the suns starting to set you make your way through the trees only to come to a clearing. (n) is sitting on a log singing but you dont hear anything. You just see her lips moving eyes closed. As you make your way to her you enter her barrier with a tinge of purple in a sphere shape. Then it hits you. Hard. You couldn't help the tears welling up. All this time you thought she didnt have a devil fruit but ... she did. Her melody singing away. You couldn't help your self.. It just was too much.You started to sob and (n) snapped up to see you.

"Captain... Law are you okay?" She asks with deep concern in her voice. You just make your way to her and embrace her gently. You couldn't even speak you were still in shock. Bearing your face in her shoulder you cried and she held you rubbing your back until you could cry no longer.

"Is that better" she asks sweetly.

"It's you (n)..." you mumbled off.

"What's me?" she asks shyly.

"I thought I'd never see his fruit again but it was with me the entire time." you say gaining your voice back.

"Whose devil fruit was this Law?" Quietly asking.

"Corazons ... he.. my dear friend.. he gave his life for me" you say quietly.

-☆-

(N) POV

Trafalgar and you sit on the log as you listen to his stories of Cora and him. This goes on until theres no more light in the sky. Feeling even closer to him you couldn't decide to let your feelings be known to him or if you had the wrong idea about him. He couldn't possibly like you back. You knew it may be best to wait and see.

"Thank you for listening (n)" Trafalgar says quietly.

"Of course Law I'm always here for you. You can always come to me." you say boldly.

-☆-

Four months later

-☆-

Using your sword you take out 5 guys all around you then some more who jumped over the others bodies. After the battle you went over to Law who was collecting their hearts. You both have had deep conversations in the past about his goals of becoming a warlord or avenging Corazon and even other things.

"All right pack it up let's go" Law yells to the crew. Your techniquly apart of the crew but you dont have to wear that boiler suit. Everyone heads in except you and Law.

"So do you have enough or still need more?" You ask quizzically. He pat's your head gently and says "patience young one"

"young?! Trafalgar Law we are the same age!" I exclaimed and his signature smirk made it's way to his face. You puff up your cheeks. He pokes them letting all the air out of your mouth. "heyy stop teasing me all ready" you whine. He chuckles.

"Your such a good girl" Law states.

'Wait what? What does he mean by that?' You think to yourself. Feeling bold you confront him.

"Sooo what do you mean I'm a good girl?" looking at him with puppy dog eyes. That blush creeps up to his face as he loves to see you like this so cute.

"I mean your a hard worker, strong, reliable, and ...cute" Law says pulling his hat down a little to hide his blush but you all ready know theres one there. Now was your chance your only chance.

"Well Trafalgar Law I think your cute too." you say as you lean up and give him a kiss on his cheek. His shock shown on him and his blush deepened.

"Let-" As you were about to say something he pulls you close and kisses you on the mouth embracing you as you embrace him after a second. He deepens the kiss using his tounge to gently flick yours. After releasing you both breathless he speaks "I cant handle it anymore (n) will you be mine?" Law asks blushing a wine red. You blush deeply and reply. "Of course Trafalgar I've actually liked you for awhile now" He hugs you close "I've liked you for awhile as well" he states.

-☆-

Heading to your now shared room you come around the corner to see Law at his desk doing paperwork.

"Let me help, have we gotten the pile down any?" you say sweetly.

"Actually were now ahead of schedule thanks to you" Law states leans over and kisses your cheek.

"Law .... you know I only have two months left before I meet up with my crew." I say softly and he doesnt speak, you assume hes waiting for you to speak more.

"But I'm thinking about leaving the Strawhats..." you finish. He looks at you with a bit of shock. Then you explain.

"Well since were boyfriend and girlfriend now, I just cant bring myself to leave you... I really really like you" you explain. He thinks apparently pondering something before speaking.

"Well you can still see them. I was planning on making a temporary alliance with the Strawhats." You look at him in shock.

"Um you know my captain?" I ask.

"I patched him up on Amazon Lily he seems strong" Law states simply.

"Ohh that's right his brother died..." you say melancholy.

"How is Luffy doing?" you ask Law.

"From when I last saw him he was stable and moving around" Law states.

"That's great news so hes fine yay! Though I do wonder how everyone else is doing I mean it's almost been 2 whole years" saying softly.

"Wow your right" Law looks you in the eyes.

"The days have gone by so quickly I almost didnt notice" Law says quietly.

You take his hand and lead him to the bed.

"Enough of work, it's time to sleep Trafalgar" you simply put it as you lead him to bed and you both laid down.

"Why do you like using my first name?" Law asks quizzically.

"Um because it means your mine silly!" you say as you lay on him hugging him close burying your face in his neck.

-☆-

2 months later

-☆-

You stretch your arms up as you walk off of the deck of the Polar Tang with your boyfriend Law. It's time to see your crew again.

"Thank you for coming all the way here for me Trafalgar" you give him a quick squeeze then let go and the crew goes awe. You know it makes him uncomfortable to do pda in front of the crew or in public in general that's why you were quick about it.

" Let's go!!" you exclaim as you and Law leave the Polar Tang and head to the meeting spot.

"Let's see if I see anyone" you spot Zoro who had just cut a ship in half.

"Zoro! Hey!" you yell as he turns around waving at you then clutching his swords when his eyes met Trafalgar. You both walked over to Zoro.

" Hey Zoro how have you been its obvious you've gotten stronger" you say happy for your comrade. You then notice the tension between the two of them so you decided to say something the cool off the situation.

"So let me introduce you to Trafalgar D Water Law my boyfriend, and Trafalgar this is Zoro Roronoa my crew mate" You state quickly and Zoro dropped his hands. He didnt seem too happy about it.

"Law the warlord?" Zoro asks.

"The very same" Law answers.

"I cant believe you (n) while we all have been getting stronger, you've been off with your .. boyfriend. I cant sit by like this." Zoro complains gripping his swords again.Confused you were about to say something but Law forced you behind him.

"Room!" Law says while Zoro prepares his swords.

"Theres no way I will let (n) go" Law states coldly. There fight begins but as soon as it starts it ends .. with Law holding Zoros heart. Law gives it a squeeze, and Zoro clutches his chest.

" Attack me or (n) and your heart will be stabbed" Law states cold as ice.

"How did you?!" Zoro looks so confused.

" Please stop" you stand in between them with both your arms up to them both.

"Zoro why havent you ever told me before?" you ask.

"There wasnt a good time for it" he states.

"That's a lie theres always a good time sometime. Anyway you must accept defeat please let's all just go." You plead.

"Would it have even made a difference?" Zoro questions you.

"I'm sorry Zoro but I didnt and dont feel the same" you say looking down. Zoro and Law look at you and put away there weapons. Law walks up to Zoro and extends his hand with the heart as the blue sphere dissapears. Zoro takes it and places it back in him.

"Luffy knows I went with Law Zoro, he just doesnt know I'm together with him" you state. Zoro raises an eyebrow.

"And just how do you think he will take this? Obviously if your together you may not stay with the crew" He says harshly.

" Well that's why were all meeting up to talk" I state blankly.

" Were just wasting time let's go" I say grabbing Laws hand which surprised him but then you caught his famous smirk. He must have liked putting Zoro the pirate hunter in his place.

-☆-

At The Meeting Room

-☆-

You decide to have a couple drinks while waiting for everyone to show up. Law just leans against the wall occasionally glancing at you. After everyone shows up and talks about everything you decided to bring up the subject.

"Hey everyone theres something I need to talk about" you say for everyone to hear. They all turn to you waiting.

"Gosh well after these two years me and Law have become close hes my boyfriend now basically so I was wondering if I could join his crew permanently but if you need me you can use my viver card?" You blurt out but not loudly.

Everyone besides Law and Zoro looks shocked.

"Yea (n) that's fine you have to live your life! It sucks your leaving though but I know you'll be back one day" Luffy says.

"Please dont leave us with himm" Nami points at Sanji

"I'm sorry Nami and everyone but as I said if you need me you can use my viver card the captain has spoken" I state firmly which was very hard to do.

" I'm sure well go on more adventures together guys! You just wait I can feel it!"

-☆-

Punk Hazard Arc

-☆-

Law wanted you to stay on the Polar Tang when you and the crew went to Punk Hazard, he didnt trust anyone especially Caesar and Monet but he could change his mind.

You did his documents for him then made a game out of paper cards like cards against humanity for the crew. You all were enjoying the game.

" I cant believe you made this (n) it's so fun" Bepo said heartedly.

"Awee thank you so much Bepo I do hope everyone else enjoys it too" you state and most of the players nod in approvment.

"I miss Lawww" you exclaim.

"Itll be okay (n) hell be back soon" Penguin says.

" Yea itll be okay just hang out with us" Sachi says happily.

"You know what you guys are right your all awesome!" You beam. They smile. You all play games well into the night. You then go into yours and Laws bedroom after getting ready for bed. You feel a presence behind you as you turn around in a karate formation.

"Hiya!" you yell and do a chopping motion, right onto Laws head making his hat fall off. After the shock that hes really here wears off you squeel.

"Trafalgar!!" you yell hopping onto him.

" hey (n) it's been a minute" he states tiredly as he wraps his arms around you. You hop off still hugging him burying your face in his chest.

" You've had no idea how much I've missed you Trafalgar" You say almost whining.

"I've missed you as well." he says letting you go to undress his coat and put Kikoku to rest.

" I've done the paperwork all ready. Are you hungry. Thirsty? Tired?" you ask everything possible. He looks at you with tired eyes.

"All of the above (n)" Law states matter o factly.

"Okay be right back handsome" you say then swiftly head to the mess hall and prepare Law some tea and onigiri then head back to your shared room.You see Law at his desk and set the cup and plate on it then sat on his lap like you always do.

" Please eat and drink dear" you say sweetly.

"Why thank you um dear" he managed to say something endearing as he started eating and drinking. After he was finished he swooped you up and layed you on the bed then layed beside you with the only source of light coming from the night stand.

" I'll be right back I need a shower" Law states and you nod. You hear water flowing as you get snuggled under the blankets so happy that hes back. After some time you hear a click and the water stop. Law comes out just in pants and your loving staring at his abs and tattoos. You blush and he notices.

"What are we blushing about? See something you like?" Law smirks.

"Yes I do hehe now gimme!" you say motioning him over. He goes over and lays down next to you turning off the light.

"Law what happened to your heart" you say somewhat upset as you trace your fingers over the rectangular shape of where his heart was supposed to be.

"Its a long story, but dont worry about it" he says quitely.

" Now you have me all to yourself" he says with a small smirk. You both start cuddling with his arms wrapped around your waist pulling you closer once you snapped your fingers and said

"silence"

"(n) I need to tell you something" Law speaks.

"What is it dear?" you question nuzzling the crook of his neck.

"(n)... I love you.." he whispers in your ear. You blush deep red as you look up to meet his eyes.

"Trafalgar I love you too..." you whisper back. He pulls you into a kiss and you deepen it playing with his tounge until you both break for air.

"Glad I told you" Law stated.

"Me too sweetheart" you say kissing his face.

-☆-

The Next Morning

-☆-

"Oh by the way your coming with me today" you hear Law state at his desk.

"I have a surprise for you,but... you'll have to be my secretary" Law states with somewhat remorse. You just look at him confused but willing.

"All right sir" you say cutely making him blush slightly. Since your devil fruit wasnt the best especially for fighting, you understood why you had to pretend to be his secretary. You nodded and got ready with a long sleeve shirt and pants. You've only been outside on the island once when you first got here. You knew about the snow and fire since Law told you.

"All ready let's go get your heart back" you exclaim making a peace sign.

-☆-

You find you, Law, Teshigi, Smoker, Luffy, Franky, and Robin trapped in a metal cage.

With Laws help you are all freed, while Luffy jumps out and Franky goes to the Sunny. All of Laws plans have fallen apart but theres still hope.

-☆-

Flashback

-☆-

"So who is this Law?" Ceaser asks quite annoyed while Monet pushes her glasses down her nose.

"Her she's my secretary" Law states coldly but you dont mind your just unsure if Ceaser and Monet will believe him. You pulled out a notepad and pencil.

"Is there anything you require sir" you ask politely pencil and paper ready.

"Not for now" Law says. While your fantastic at acting it is a bit awkward for you to be so close to the enemy. Dont get me wrong you definitely can defend yourself and can use Haki but your calm calm fruit powers are pretty much completely useless. You could definitely tell that they weren't buying this secretary stunt.

"Law I granted only you permission of the island not some secretary too" Ceaser has a fit.

-☆-

Back to the cage. You all escape and managed to get inside before the poison gas gets you all. You follow Trafalgar as everyone else does there own thing. Sword at your hip ready to go.

-☆-

You and Law make it to the SAD factory door, as it opens you both walk in. After a couple of minutes. In walks Vergo and they exchange a few words before Vergo disappears then reappears only to slash Law with his bamboo stick about 4 times in the face before saying

"This is it Law, its a shame your a traitor" Vergo says coldly. He turns his attention to you and you quickly use armorant hardening everywhere, before he attacks and sends you flying into the wall. You spit up a little blood as you knew you weren't that strong but you still had tricks up your sleeve. Law glances at you but knows if he goes near you Vergo will get the idea hes protecting you.

"Let me guess your pissed off because your scheme came crashing down all around you, this thing is really important to you guys. It's a hunk of junk." Law states to Vergo.

"I would watch my mouth if I were you" Vergo says with little irritation. Just then you hear Law groan in pain as you look up to see Vergo squeezing Laws heart.

"Dammit room! Now my heart come back to me" Law grovels. Just as soon as Law says those words does Vergo teleport to Law and beat him again catching Laws heart. You knew you would only get in the way so you stand and stare. You were no match for Vergo your specialties are for stealth. Vergo teleports again to law who was trying to get up Vergo uses armorant haki and punches him three times to where Laws hat falls off into the darkness. Law looks up arms up to Vergo.

"Heres a counter shock" Trafalgar says as he defibrillates Vergo causing Vergo to spit out some blood. After a second Vergo speaks.

"I have a message from joker, he says that it is a shame"

"I knew exactly how to get my heart back from Ceaser I didnt except you here too Vergo" Law says.

"Mr. Vergo" Vergo says while squeezing Laws heart making Trafalgar fall to the ground.

"I'm kinda in the middle of something does it have to be now... Vice Admiral Smoker, whatever, been meaning to kill you might as well get it over with" Vergo states.

"Go ahead and try I can only look at trash for so long before I have to take it out. Especially filthy pirates like you" Vice Admiral Smoker says.

"What are those they look mighty ominous" Smoker says looking to the green liquid tanks.

"They are but that's none of your concern" Vergo says

"Vergo I dont want them to know about you, these men look up to you like a father" Smoker states

"Well too late now they know now I saw them moments ago"

"What did you do to them!?" smoker yells.

"Looks like I hit a nerve dont tell me you look up to those subordinates" Vergo says.

"Its a shame it had to end this way but now that you know my secret I must kill you" Vergo coldy states. Smoker takes the first move as they engage in action. Smoker gains the upper hand and punches Vergo into the railing.

"I'm warning you dont ever lay a hand on my men!" Smoker yells. Smoker slashes at Vergo but he blocks it. Smoker and Vergo use armorant haki and exchange blows. Smoker attacks with a fury of blows but none land.

"Watch it Smoker" you hear Law mumble from over to your left. Smoker attacks but it's not effective.

"Too slow" Vergo says to Smoker.

"White glove!" Smoker yells as Vergo grabs Smokers smoke arm and punches him with armorant haki causing him to crash into the railing and cough up some blood. Vergo uses moonwalk to match Smokers smoke form once Smoker gets up. Vergo punches Smoker with armorant haki yet again and Smoker crashes into the railing.

"What do you want?" Vergo asks law who managed to stand up now.

"I just want to get my heart back from you, once I have it I can kick your ass easily Vergo"

"Its Mr. Vergo" as Vergo squeezes Laws heart. You see smoker look at you as you quietly say "silence" engulfing Smoker in your silence.

Smoker attacks engulfing Vergo with smoke in a circle.

"Demon bamboo" as vergo slams his bamboo against Smoker straight into a wall cracking it.

"You wanted to kill me so bad for the navy and your people but recklessness wont save your people or make them proud of you"

"Its over now" Vergo states blankly.

"Well done Smoker thanks for keeping your end of the deal I can take it from here" you look over to Law who has his heart as he places it back into his chest. You lean against the wall knowing it's over now and so happy Smoker kept his side of the secret deal.

"This makes us even Law, will you finish him all ready" you hear Smoker sputter.

"You really cant stand owing a pirate can you?"you hear Law state blankly.

"Its unbecoming I'm only glad my people arnt here to see this" Smoker sputters.

"And yet I'm only alive because of what you did"

"Now it's time to end this Mr. Vergo" Law states.

"Its about time you remembered your place in the world" Vergo states.

"Tell your self whatever lies you want to hear, ya I know your listening hello Joker!"

"Your about to loose your right hand man meanwhile Strawhat is gonna take out Ceaser and that means you can kiss your SAD goodbye, so you wont be laughing for very much longer" Law states to the snail Joker.

"Hahahaha you do a pretty decent job of acting tough runt, take a good look at Vergo pissing him off isnt a good idea. With his haki your no match for Vergo and never will be" Joker laughs maniacally. Vergo is in full body armorant haki.

"Let's do this" Vergo states as he is in full armorant charges at Law. In a flash Law cuts Vergo clean in half as you gasp in happiness its over. You see Trafalgar swing Kikoku and the whole facility is cut clean off in half. You walk up to him entering his sphere.

"You always told me a new era was coming the age of the daring ones and here we are Joker I opened the gate the gears are broken there is no turning back .. for anyone" Law states coldly. You knew something huge was coming but Law didnt let you in on the whole plan just yet, most likely to try and protect you. The blue sphere dissapears as you watch Trafalgar cut up Vergo into tiny pieces like he does for his crew punishments and put each piece on a different part of the railing. The snail goes click and you breath out hard enough for Law to look at you.

"Are you all right (n)?" Law asks concerned. He saw how hard you were throw against the wall.

"I'm just glad it's over I'm good tip top shape, I used armorant hardening so I should be good" you say really wanting to hug him because he almost died. Though with Vergo still alive you didnt want to take any chances so you pretend your just a Strawhat. Vergo goes on a rant about how Law will regret this then Trafalgar slices Vergos face down the middle.

"Dont waste your breath worrying about me you've got your own problems to worry about"

"This rooms gonna explode soon, so long Vergo the pirate" Law says calmly. You follow Law out of the room and find a huge half tank that could fit many people inside.

"Well use this to transport the kids, marines and Strawhats" Law states and grabs a rope on the right while Smoker grabs the one on the left. They start walking with it and eventually you all make your way to door R-66.

"Hey (n) ,Traffy and Smoker!" you hear Luffy yell to you guys.

"Theres no time for introductions again let's go" Law states pulling the gaint cart. Everyone makes there way through door R-66.

"Hey Strawhat where did Ceaser go?" Law asks Luffy.

"I blew him through that door see he sucks let's just leave him behind" Luffy says.

"I should have known not to trust you with anything. The point of having a plan is to follow through with it. We need to capture him now" Law yells.

"Hey Luffy you think there okay?" Nami asks worriedly.

"I know they are" He says.

"The hell you Strawhats standing around for?!" Law yells.

"I'm waiting on my crew" Luffy says as you nod. You see Brook and Chopper running for their lives and barely made it through the door.

"The gangs all here now!" Luffy yells.

"Where you trying to make us worry?" Nami asks.

"This is no time for a reunion let's go!" Law yells. You jump onto the cart along with both your crews.

"Allright let's go!" Luffy yells as he pushes the lever making the cart go super fast. You hold onto Laws arm for balance not wanting to fall down.

"I dont see any light ahead how far did Strawhat punch Ceaser exactly" You hear Trafalgar state.

"Hey Law when you and I get off this island you and I will go our separate ways, but theres something I gotta ask" Smoker states bluntly.

"And that is?" Law questions.

"I was under the impression that my heart was in Ceasers possession how did you get your hands on it?"

"Simple I gave Ceaser my heart and in return he let me hold onto his secretaries heart, he got mixed up on the details. So our little encounter put me in possession of two hearts" Law states.

"Ceaser just made the assumption but I gave him back Monets heart out of kindness"

"When you do kind things well, that good karmas bound to come right back to you" Law says.

"Dammit the passage is blocked!" a marine yells.

"Dont slow down" you hear Zoro say. Everyone cheers as Zoro cuts through the blockage.

"Dont get comfortable just yet" Zoro states. Everyone looks behind them to see the poison gas running after everyone. Once turning back around your and Zoros eyes lock for a second then disconnect.

"If the fallen rubble doesnt kill us the gas surely will" you hear Robin say.

"Stop being morbid" You hear Usop say.

"Theres sure to be a gas cloud when we get out, can anyone conjure up some wind?" Law asks.

"Sure I can do that" Nami says raising a hand.

"Move faster!" You hear Luffy yell. As soon as the gas gets closer everyone besides you Law and Smoker start freaking out.

You let go of Laws arm.

"I see a light up ahead" Luffy yells. The cart bursts out of the tunnel with everyone cheering. The cart halts with a thud.

"Baby Five, Buffalo what are you doing here?!" You hear Law yell.

"Law turned traitor Joker saved a seat for you and you go and betray him!" You see Bafflo say.

"They took Ceaser and made a run for it" Usop says.

"Those batards" Law says

"Hang on Law, Usop says he has it" Luffy says.

"First class sniper even if he has a gaint snoz" Zoro says

"Your crazy what if he misses this could ruin our whole plan" Law states.

"Yea any day now" Zoro says

"Go high weather egg! Time to hatch weather bolt!" Nami yells

"Oh no not so fast thunder breed tempo!" Nami says.

"Special attack meteor storm assault! Fire!" Usop yells.

"That last part, Sea prism handcuffs!" Usop yells as the shackles wrap around Ceaser dragging him down. After that ordeal you see Sanji and brook building a fire pit. Franky is helping the marines fix the ship. You see Nami and Tishigi on the ship talking while you walk over to the fire pit you realize Law is gone.

"(n)- Swannn! Hello again!" Sanji fawns over you making you blush slightly then it dissapears.

"Hello Sanji nice to see you and everyone again" you say.

Suddenly Chopper comes running out of the ship.

"Luffy! You gotta stop him immediately! Hes committing murder!" Chopper screams

"Dont worry Chopper hes just treating the children!" you yell up at Chopper.

"Ahhh I also committed murder!" Brook screamed.

"You killed him again?!" Sanji and Luffy yell.

"What if we glue him back together?" Luffy yells

"Momonosuke!" Kinemon yells as he breaks out of his shelling.

"Father your alive!" Momo yells as he puffs into human form again.

"Father I thought you were dead!"

"Momonosuke!" Kinemon yells.

Suddenly Momo collapses.

"So they finally been reunited" Brook says.

"Hu hes not normally this naked though" Kinemon places a rock on Momos head and poof he is wearing a kimono.

"Hmm smells good I wonder what Sanjis cooking up for us?" you hear usop say.

"A cold exhausted body needs a healthy meal so I made sea pig pork soup. I know you've been running on an empty stomach for days now so start with the soup" Sanji says to Momo.

"I do not want your strange food" Momo yells.

"I humbly accept this feast, delicious! I'll try this next. There food is fine to eat son. accept their kindness. My life was saved by them" Kinemon says.

"There food is safe to eat?" Momo says with tears in his eyes.

"All this time you havent had a single bite to eat what a strong boy" Kinemon says.

"We need to talk Strawhat their gonna be right on our tail so we need to ship out now" You hear Law say to Luffy.

"Allright listen up guys we got trouble headed our way so hurry up party fast and dig in" Luffy says. Seeing Trafalgars face says it all hes in shock and you giggle. As everyone parties and eats you take two bowls as well go over, and hand one to Law. He takes it silently and starts to eat. Once finished Smoker says

"Law although I made you a promise you cant expect me to keep it. Your a pirate but if you wanted to silence me you had many possibilities. Just what are you using Strawhat?"

"Using him? What makes you think hes not using me?" Law states simply. You just sip your soup while listening to them.

"Not that I wanted you alive, that's just how it worked out. Dont read into it. After this I'm planning on heading to Greenbix who knows, Strawhats might be useful or who knows maybe I'm useful to them" Law states then walks off to Baby five and Buffalo chopping off their heads. The marines start talking but you drown out there words deep in your own thoughts.

'All this walking and running has me tired' you think quietly to yourself and rub your back.

You snap back to reality You see the kids crying.

"Stop it this instant shame on you all" Tishigi yells to the marines.

"You dont get it Tishigi we might do the unthinkable and start liking these guys" the marines shout. Eventually the ship sets sail with everyone saying their goodbyes.

"Hey why is this one tagging along?" Zoro questions about Law.

"Luffy made an alliance not sure what hes gotten us into again" Usop says. As your all walking to the Sunny you board with Ceaser still knocked out laying on the ship. You stand next to Law.

"Let's set sail!" Luffy yells. On the snail phone.

"Well color me surprised it's the boss didnt expect you to show up in person." You hear Law say.

"Hello Law it's been far too long, it's a shame you didnt show your face" Doflamingo says.

"I figured you want to know where Ceasar is hes safely in our hands" Law states.

"Question where are my cohorts bodies?" Mengo asks.

"I couldn't say neither does it particularly intrest me" Law says.

"Come on Law quit acting like an adult and let's cut to the chase tell me where you are. Answer quick or I'll get mad" Doflamingo says.

Law says

"Oh you'll get mad, whose your business partner oh that's right Kaido, I wonder how hell react when he finds out you cant produce smile" Law states.

"Okay you've carried the joke long enough now let's discuss the terms like adults" Mengo says.

"Resign from the warlords, come now I'm only asking you to abandon a decade of work. If I look tomorrow at the paper and see you've resigned then the deal is on. But if I dont then the deal is as good as gone" Law states coolly as he clicks stop on the transponder snail.

"Silence" you snap your fingers.

"So I'm guessing were headed to Dressrosa next?" You ask quizzically.

"Yes we are, the sub is following us as well, we will be going up against Doflamingo so I'm unsure if you should stay in the sub or come with me. It would be nice to show him that Cora lives on through you but it will be extremely dangerous." Law says to you and you nod. Moving closer to him you wrap an arm around his. This makes him blush slightly but not enough for anyone to notice you thought. You look around and lock eyes with Zoro who huffs then turns around.

"I'm worried about you Trafalgar please come back to me alive" you whisper to him. He nods and says

"Dont worry (n) I will" as he put Kikoku down and rests his hand on your arm. This is the closest you'll get to him before the fight so you soak up his warmth. After awhile you both break apart. You snap your fingers.

"Silence" and the sphere dissapears.

"What's our next stop Nami" Luffy yells.

"Oh well let me-" she was cut off by Law

"There are no stops straight to Dressrosa" he states boldly walking up to most of the crew. Luffy nods

[pochapal]

I decided to start with problem sleuth, thinking how long could it be? I was wrong. I will finish this beast, but I googled the length, and it's 20% the length of homestuck.

I nearly went on a large ramble here, but that seems rude, so will more vaguely gesture at the thoughts I wanted to convey with a question: Why do you think people start with the later work first, for both Umineko and Homestuck? Homestuck obviously blew up more, but Higurashi is more popular in both the east and west, and I've notices a surprising amount of people going with Umineko first.

In both Higurashi(which I have finished and am rereading) and Problem Sleuth(which I have only barely started), I've enjoyed seeing the early version of ideas I know/assume will be in the later works. It's nice to see how an author grows. This isn't really part of the question, I just thought it was worth sharing and you might have some thoughts.

yeahhhh i first read problem sleuth during one of the earlier homestuck pauses (maybe the mid-late 2011 hiatus) thinking i could get through it in a weekend. it in fact took me much longer than that.

i can't speak that confidently on the higurashi/umineko part of this question since i don't know enough about umineko and i don't know anything about higurashi, but i imagine it'll be a similar correlation just with different material factors. homestuck was the one people got into thanks mostly to the fact it was this mammoth everywhere presence that you couldn't escape for the entire first half of the 2010s (i got into homestuck back in 2010 both because a friend at school recommended it to me and also because suddenly the entire front page of deviantart became homestuck overnight) and from the vague stuff i've seen umineko kind of has a similar hyped up reputation? the odd "read umineko it changed my life and it'll change yours" post has appeared every now and then but i can't say i've ever seen a higurashi equivalent (i have also had both terms muted for over a year so who is to say how reliable this observation is).

i also think that homestuck drew people in due to the fact it was a more "alive" and sprawling project compared to problem sleuth which was written start to finish over the course of 2008 and was barely an eighth of the length of homestuck so the nature of an active piece of work inherently generates more of a fandom around it - the interaction people had with homestuck pretty much until 2018 or so was entirely coded in standard fandom spaces/activity which was bad for meaningful discussion on the story but very good for constantly attracting great numbers of readily-obsessed teens and young adults into the fold. homestuck as well was easier to connect/relate to for a fandom audience than problem sleuth as well - a story about young teens getting into situations with their online friends is far easier to connect to and understand on a relatability level than a pastiche of point and click mystery adventures. also the way that characters and systems were built in homestuck are rife to be projected upon since it's all delineated archetypes in a similar vein to zodiac signs where you can impose whatever interpretation you need to connect to your desired symbol and it'll be right. in other words, homestuck is a highly kinnable piece of fiction.

if i were to hazard a guess, i'd say something similar might be happening with higurashi and umineko? umineko is a mystery story where understanding and empathy are your tools for figuring stuff out which naturally leads to the state of "rotate blorbo in your mind at high speeds" which in turn leads to a deeper emotional connection. i'd imagine that all this stuff would be present in higurashi too, but since it's a horror story the reader is probably not implicitly and explicitly encouraged to think about the story's elements in the same way. something else i've vaguely seen that i'm not sure how reliable an observation it is is that there is a very dedicated very queer umineko fanbase and that kind of word of mouth recommendation goes a long way (for my personal reference all the people i knew who were into umineko before i got into it myself were all trans women).

so in the end i think it's a combination of a certain kind of dedicated fandom and a story that you have an easier way into emotionally connecting with it that draws people more into the latter than the former. there's also the novelty factor of homestuck being one of the longest pieces of fiction in the english language (i know umineko is long as hell too but i don't know how this stacks up compared to higurashi) so there's a kind of bucket list-esque prestige in tackling one of these behemoth texts you Need To Read Before You Die.

to respond to the second part of your ask, one really neat thing especially with problem sleuth is that by reading that with dedication and attention you're rewarded with a kind of decoder for some of homestuck's more obtuse and esoteric elements that a lot of initial readers unfamiliar with how things work struggle with, so when things get weird you're able to go "ah this is basically a reiteration of [X] from problem sleuth" and not stress trying to decipher something that would feel impenetrable. homestuck doesn't try to make itself hard to understand or anything but it does become difficult to follow if you're the kind to breeze through a story and not really take in what it's telling you in the text, so problem sleuth is especially good for building up a visual language so you understand callbacks with little more than a glance. in this way problem sleuth is the theory and homestuck is the theory in practice.

[television-overload]

20 fanfic questions

Thanks for tagging me @randomfoggytiger !

How many works do you have on AO3?

30, I'm still working on putting more that I wrote either on Tumblr or Fanfiction.net back in the day on my AO3 (if they don't induce too much cringe. Been doing this almost a decade now).

2. What's your total AO3 words count?

137,433 and counting

3. What fandoms do you write for?

NCIS, X-Files, Star Wars, and on rare occasions, Harry Potter

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Mother (Star Wars Obi-Wan x Satine), Life Force (more Star Wars), Back to You (old NCIS fic), Like Life Itself (you guessed it, more Star Wars), and sh-boom (X-Files :D)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Sometimes, if I get a particularly nice comment that makes me all excited. But I recently read a post where someone was saying you shouldn't reply to comments on your own fic on AO3 because it artificially inflates the number of comments on your story, and I was like :'(

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooh, I've been specializing in angst since I got back into fic writing. Let me think... The Star Wars prequels are inherently angsty, so-- hope like the sun (Star Wars) this could be such a dream (Star Wars) what was once a garden (Star Wars)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Mother (Star Wars), because even though it's angsty, it's a happy ending AU. I'm realizing a lot of my fics that I'm actually proud of have melancholy endings lol sh-boom (X-Files) is a good one too.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I mean, maybe I used to? When I wrote as a teen? Not so much "hate" as "this doesn't make sense," and half the time, the commenter was getting some fact about the fandom wrong anyway haha

9. Do you write smut. If so what kind?

Nope, never will

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Never a crossover, although I have thought about an X-Files/NCIS crossover. Pretty sure I'd be the only one interested in it though. I am currently writing a Star Wars fanfic that is basically a retelling of The Sound of Music, which is probably as close to a crossover as I'll get.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. But I did have someone ask to print my fic out once to keep forever and that made me so happy :')

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

That would be cool, but no.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I can't. I'm so loyal to Tony and Ziva from NCIS, and they really are fantastic. But even I have to admit that Mulder and Scully are the blueprint. Nobody did co-dependent coworkers turned lovers like them. Both of them have WILD stories about how they ended up with a child though, and I love them for that.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Oof. The forbidden topic. I was writing a fic called "In the Eyes of Tali" on Fanfiction.net once upon a time before they brought back Ziva on the show, and a lot of people seemed to really enjoy it. It was basically the episode Family First from Tali's perspective, which I think is really unique, and then went on toward an eventual reunion with Ziva. I think I could theoretically finish it one day, but there's so much I'm writing now that I doubt it. Maybe I need the proper incentive.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I actually don't know. I've been told I capture characters' voices well before, that's really nice to hear. I hope I'm improving in the description department.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably maintaining good pacing, getting from point A to point B without rushing it, and actually making myself finish what I started. I'm also a little wimp when it comes to not getting comments or bookmarks on a fic, even if it's a small fandom and it makes sense that the engagement isn't as high as I hoped.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Occupational hazard in the Star Wars and NCIS fandoms. Star Wars you're dealing with made up languages (most often for me, Mando'a) and NCIS is usually Hebrew for Ziva. Best you can do is do the research, try to fact check Google, and provide translations if needed for context in the story.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Technically, Harry Potter. When I was 13 I started a story that I had grand plans for, posted 2 chapters on ffn.net, and then never touched it again lol. But the ones I actually stuck with were (now really cringe) NCIS fics, and they got a decent amount of attention on that site (and even among some old ladies on Twitter that would share links sometimes, how cute is that?)

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

So far, either Mother (Star Wars) or Beautiful (X-Files), but recently I've been putting out a lot that I'm finally proud of! I'm hoping they're actually good this time, and not the "good" that I thought I was writing in 2015. I've always hoped I'd build up a base of readers that enjoy my stuff and subscribe for when I post new fics, but I don't think I'm there yet. Easier said than done, especially on Tumblr.

Tagging: @indestinatus @wanna-be-bold @ whoever else wants to do this! I'm out of touch with who writes stuff on here, and also relatively oblivious to people's blog names if I read them on AO3 haha

[piano-virucide]

Dushkin recorder musings

Despite my name and majority of my posts on Tumblr alluding to piano, I do also play the recorder.

Originally, I was playing on a cheap soprano recorder made of wax-impregnated maple that utilized German fingering (a bad "habit" from my school days that I put up with for some time). However, I did promise myself that I would switch over to Baroque/English fingering if I stumbled across a reasonable vintage alto recorder at an affordable price. And last weekend that promise came to fruition at an estate sale. Behold, my new alto!

It's a Dushkin, purchased for quite a steal ($20 USD!). No information was provided about its original owner, but whoever previously owned it seems to have been a woodwind enthusiast (the sale included various woodwinds) and likely played the Dushkin alto a lot (the thumbhole in the back looks fairly worn and could benefit from a bushing).

About Dushkin recorders:

There seems to be very limited information about recorder maker David Dushkin. The Powerhouse Collection in Australia has a Dushkin soprano recorder in its collection and helpful anecdotes on Dushkin's work along with links to its sources - David Dushkin, it appears, was the first recorder maker in the USA. Beyond that, searching up Dushkin recorders is more likely to show a variety of online sale listings, though one listing on Etsy was very useful as it provided images of the original fingering chart and instructions for use.

A look at the instructions say to oil the recorder with olive oil (a non-drying oil) or linseed oil (a drying oil) once a month or so. I used neither when oiling the instrument after cleaning (opted for a seed-based oil instead, so non-drying oil). The fire hazards of linseed cannot be emphasized enough (spontaneous combustion!); I think if I had to go for a drying oil, I'd opt for walnut oil because the recorder's wood structure is, well, walnut!

I think anyone familiar with wooden recorders will agree that walnut is a very unusual choice for recorder construction. An educated guess of mine is that Dushkin opted for walnut due to accessibility of this particular hard wood in North America (some Native American flutes are made of the same material).

Also unusual was Dushkin's mouthpiece design, which supposedly could be dissembled to some degree to remove the block.

The instructions on the Etsy listing indicate the mouthpiece can be pulled off when cleaning. During the cleaning process I was able to wiggle the outer wood sleeve by about a millimeter before it would not budge anymore - caution made push it back into place. I don't think it would be worth the risk of trying to figure out how the mouthpiece is supposed to be removed, and I'll settle for dripping alcohol into the windway if/when necessary.

Overall, it seems to be a well-made collector's item instrument that is sought-after for its historical value.

How it plays:

Brian Blauch's blog (online moniker reedplayerncnc) gives a brief firsthand description on its playability - "The alto has a beautiful tone, but it's super quiet. And you need to blow extremely hard." My experience was not quite the same as Blauch's - I needed to blow more softly!

Though, for full disclosure, I have a tendency to overblow so I could be biased. My particular Dushkin alto seems to be fairly forgiving at the upper registers for both overblowing and underblowing, but the lowest note requires significantly slow air flow, so much so that I have to drop my jaw when playing he lowest note, otherwise the note is at risk of squeaking.

An unusual one-time observance was that I somehow managed to get lowest note, 'F', to emit a wolf tone despite the bore being conical, but I've only been able to recreate this once during my very first play during the break-in period, and I have not gotten a wolf tone since then, just squeaks from bad fingering or overblowing.

An eBay listing mentions "the sound is a bit airy and responsiveness is on the slow side", which is more closer to what I experienced. When comparing the head of my alto to Blauch's photo's and the eBay photo, I noticed my alto's head more closely resembles the eBay listing, and that the head of Blauch's alto is different around the base of the mouthpiece (slightly more fancy) - so therefore Blauch and I have different models. My suspicion is that the models might also have some variation in bore size, maybe mine might be an older model given how less fancy it appears (and the poor placement of the stamp!).

Sadly, this is where my research into Dushkin recorder models comes to a dead end. Dushkin is mentioned in a few old articles published by the American Recorder Society, and one PowerPoint presentation in particular shows a few more of his recorders, but no documentation online exists regarding how Dushkin's recorder models changed over time.

Perhaps when I have the recorder fully played in and have sufficiently practiced enough, I'll do a reblog of this post with the sound of my Dushkin alto.

In the meantime, if you wish to follow in my footsteps down the Dushkin research rabbit hole, my sources are below.

Sources:

Powerhouse Collection listing: https://collection.powerhouse.com.au/object/407869

Etsy listing (with images of instructions below) https://www.etsy.com/listing/1538597243/vintage-dushkin-tenor-recorder-1950s-era?show_sold_out_detail=1&ref=nla_listing_details

Brian Blauch's blog post on Dushkin recorders: https://reedplayer.info/2021/12/29/dushkin-recorders/

eBay listing: https://www.ebay.com/itm/266504730326

American Recorder Society PowerPoint presentation containing images of some Dushkin recorder models. https://www.google.com/url?client=internal-element-cse&cx=011443274990293341649:ouyrdo9fbeu&q=https://americanrecorder.org/docs/von_Huene_ARS_FIN.pptx&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwj19bOz64aEAxUwD1kFHTsIA3AQFnoECAUQAQ&usg=AOvVaw21O3FmjQIOBp2lcz2bmuiR

[blackbird-brewster]

Hi .. for the prompt writing

18 or 89 or 143 for Jemily

(you can choose , cause I can't)

Thanks for the prompts, I chose to do #89! Cross posted on AO3.

89: “YOU SENT ME PICTURES OF YOU NAKED WHILE I WAS IN A WORK MEETING!”

Sexy in Grey

Ship: JJ/Emily || Rated: M || WC: 1700

Emily rubbed her temples to stave off an impending headache. She was currently sitting in Deputy Director Bailey's office for the third time in a week and she was at her wit's end. Bailey was nothing but a hedge-fund manger in a cheap suit who's newest past-time was making Emily's life a living hell.

She knew accepting the role of Section Chief would require plenty of bureaucratic bullshit and ego-stroking, but she never expected her boss to be nearly twenty years younger than herself, with no experience in the field, and a permanent silver spoon stuck in his mouth.

Today's lecture was nothing new, Bailey was on one of his usual tirades about the BAU, not that Emily was fully paying attention. The two of them did this song and dance so often she could pretty much write the script from memory at this point.

Bailey would say, "You went against my orders, you're over budget, your agents are rouge and disrespectful to authority!"

Emily would bite her tongue and remind him of the BAU's excellent track record of getting results and being experts in what they did.

The two of them would trade heated words and Emily would ultimately let Bailey think he won, just so she could get the hell out of his office. Currently, she figured they were still above five minutes away from that inevitable ending.

Her phone chimed in her jacket pocket and she prayed for an emergency so she had an excuse to leave. She smiled when she saw JJ's name in the notification bar. Even when she was being belittled by Bailey, Emily found solace in the fact her girlfriend would always make things better afterwards. When she unlocked her phone and went to see JJ's text, her eyes went wide as she saw the unexpected sight of JJ's tits.

"Am I boring you, Prentiss?" Bailey scowled when Emily's attention stayed on her phone for a handful of seconds.

Emily quickly put it back in her pocket and tried to collect herself after the shock of seeing JJ's inappropriate nude . She put on the sickeningly sweet tone she often used to placate Bailey, "No, of course not. I just need to go take care of something. How about you and I pick up this argument same time tomorrow?"

"Prentiss, I swear to you --"

He didn't even get to finish his sentence before Emily was up and rushing out of his office. She made a beeline to the elevator, pressing the button impatiently, until the doors opened. Two floors down and one mad dash through the hallway, she arrived back to her office.

She called JJ, scolding her girlfriend as soon as the call connected. "I cannot believe you just sent me that photo while I'm at work! I was in a meeting with the Deputy Director, Jennifer!"

JJ chuckled under her breath, "Hello to you too, baby. I'd say I'm sorry, but we both know I wouldn't mean it."

"You're the worst," Emily replied affectionately. "At least it gave me a reason to leave."

"Where are you now?"

Emily relaxed into her desk chair, amazed by how little it took for JJ to calm her down. "My office. I've got so much to do today. I wish you were here."

"I should be back tomorrow," JJ said with an air of commiseration. Ever since Emily became Section Chief, she worked exclusively out of Quantico, while JJ, on the other hand, was still in the field all the time. They made it work the best they could, but it wasn't an ideal situation. JJ's schedule meant they'd go days at a time without seeing each other. "Ignoring my bad timing, what did you think of the photo?"

Emily pulled her phone away from her ear so she could look at the picture in question. JJ was laying on a bed, golden tresses splayed out in a blonde halo around her head, smirk on her lips. The photo cut off a little below her breasts, but Emily could hazard to guess the rest of JJ's body was just as naked.

"Beautiful, as always," she finally replied. "I'm going to make you pay for this when you get home, you know that, right?"

"Oh, I know," JJ sighed wistfully. "I'm counting on it. God, Em, I swear three days away from you is way too long. Never thought I could be so needy about sex, but here we are."

"I think it's endearing when you get like this," Emily replied. "Makes me still feel wanted."

"Em, baby, you know I always want you," JJ said. "Always have, always will."

Emily caught her reflection on her laptop screen and frowned at her grey hair. It had taken a lot of encouraging from JJ (with help from Garcia and Tara too) for Emily to feel comfortable enough to stop dying her hair and for the most part, she loved her new look, but there were still random moments of doubt. JJ was nearly ten years younger than Emily and while their age difference had never been an issue, the physical expression of Emily's age was far more obvious now.

"Baby, I can hear you thinking," JJ said. Even without seeing Emily, she knew when her girlfriend was getting in her head about something. "I love you, Em. And I'm desperately horny for you."

Emily chuckled at that. "Thanks, love. I appreciate the thought, even if I'm still not fully convinced you --"

"Emily," JJ interrupted in the same stern tone she used in the bedroom. "Stop talking," Emily immediately did as she was told and JJ continued, "Do you have anymore meetings today?"

When she didn't get a reply, she added, "You may answer."

Emily swallowed a moan as a wave of arousal coiled in the pit of her stomach. "I have one meeting later today, but that's not until 15:00."

"Good," JJ hummed. "You know what comes next, don't you, pretty girl? You know what happens when you talk down about yourself like this."

Emily's reply was almost a plea, "Jen -- "

"Yes, I do know you're at work," JJ answered instinctively. "Do you think I care about that? I want you to sit there quietly and listen to how wet I am for you, listen to how I fuck myself thinking about you. It goes without saying, you're not allowed to touch yourself. We wouldn't want Section Chief Prentiss to be caught with her hand in her pants, now would we?"

"No," Emily sighed. She pinned her phone between her cheek and her shoulder so her hands were free, but she didn't dare disobey JJ's instructions. She ghosted her fingertips over her thighs as she listened to JJ getting into position on her end.

It wasn't the first time Emily was made to listen while JJ masturbated. Truthfully, phone sex used to seem preposterous, something teenagers do, but when JJ was out of town so often, this had become part of their regular routine when they were missing each other. It wasn't always one sided, but even when it was, Emily loved it.

For the next ten minutes, Emily listened to JJ fingering herself, her moans between the dirty talk, she told Emily all the things she wanted to do when she got home, all the ways she was going to show Emily how hot she was, until finally, JJ came with Emily's name on her lips. It was an erotic experience, hearing her girlfriend fucking herself from three states over, while Emily sat in her office at Quantico. Even without physically touching herself, Emily knew her underwear were absolutely ruined from the exchange. One thing was for sure, the headache Bailey caused had been completely eliminated, now replaced with arousal and a renewed eagerness to get through the rest of her day so she could get home and take care of herself.

"Are you convinced now?" JJ asked rhetorically. "You're so fucking sexy, Em."

"Yeah, that was definitely a convincing performance," Emily smiled into her phone, even though JJ couldn't see her expression. "At this rate, you're going to be the death of me."

"Nope, you've already died once," JJ jest. "You don't get to do that again."

Emily's eye roll was basically audible in her voice, "A woman fakes her death one time and she can never live it down. What is the world coming to?"

"Shut up," JJ laughed. "I love you."

"I love you too, Jen. Can't wait to see you."

"I bet you can't," JJ said. "But until then, I just sent you a little something to keep you going."

Emily's phone chimed and she checked their text thread. JJ sent a photo of the aftermath of their call, nothing left to the imagination this time, and Emily's brain all but short circuited at the sight of JJ sucking her come covered fingers clean with the smuggest look on her face.

"Jesus, Jennifer! You have got to stop sending me nudes while I'm working."

"But it's so cute how flustered you get," JJ replied.

Another chime, another photo.

"Jennifer!"

"Love you," JJ said in a sing-song. "I'll Facetime you tonight and we can pick up from here."

A third chime, and a somehow more explicit photo.

"I'm hanging up now," Emily groaned. "I love you, even if you are absolutely incorrigible. Talk later when I get home."

She ended the call and was immediately met with yet another photo. She quickly sent her reply: [Why are you like this?]

[Because my girlfriend is so hot, I can't help but be horny all the time 😘.]

[Have a great afternoon, Section Chief Prentiss. 🫡]

Emily shook her head at JJ's deviousness while scrolling through the photos again. She wasn't sure what she'd ever done to deserve such such a loving, albeit sometimes frustrating, girlfriend, but Emily also couldn't imagine her life any other way.

[thesherrinfordfacility]

Hi - no, not a bot, yes, I know this is middle school drama, still sending this message to everyone on the real real love server because I want to let people know that it was made in bad faith/ expressly to bait people into saying bad opinions so that a group of 6 or 7 people can make fun of them. It's got its own hidden channel for this purpose. there are screenshots of it on fakefakelove. You can decide to do with this information what you will.

i was aware that it was going on.

i won't pretend it's the completely moral thing to do, but i do understand having a very closed gc/server to rant and vent about shit, i think that's entirely human. but the bit that gets me personally about this is that this is a server dedicated to a specific fic, and that fic is incredibly good. it's very well written in all senses, its deliciously complicated and bending, and i remember saying back along that ng has his work cut out for him. it is that good, and it was frankly my favourite wip since the first couple of chapters.

it's therefore no surprise at all when other people - fans - then want to engage with it, discuss it, make fanwork of it, and theorise about it. i thought initially, when the server was created, that it was a lush idea, meant genuinely and with sincerity, and i definitely had joining it on my to-do list. when you create any work, good or not (subjectively speaking, but immaterial regardless!), you shouldn't expect people to come into said server, or onto your ao3 comments, and start shitting on it; but afaik and seen, that hasn't been happening.

what has happened, it seems, is exactly as you've said; people have joined this server and started expressing general hcs or thoughts, and/or wanting to express personality and wanting to get to know people/show parts of themselves, and are being privately humiliated for it. people of all different backgrounds and origins, different neurodiversities and genders and sexualities, have come together to want to express their admiration to the author for their fic. i'd guessed that the overwhelming majority of people that have joined that server have done so in good faith, and... been rewarded by being humiliated and laughed at by a small clique of others. and, as it may turn out, that was the whole point of the server in the first place.

now again, back to my point; that private channel is - in isolation - not the worst, most reprehensible thing here... not imo anyway. having a channel for you and your friends to rant and vent, in private, is one thing. but a) it probably would have been more prudent and wiser to make sure that whoever is in that channel is comfortable with whatever is going on, and b) it's, imo, the part where they seemingly bait people with questions, then take that privately and bitch about it, that turns it from understandable to deplorable.

id hazard that the vast majority of the people that joined have done so in good faith, hoping to connect over a stellar fic. afaik, some of those people may have found out about the channel, and not been bothered about what's being said about them, but i know of others that have been really upset by it. imo, there is a pretty substantial line between venting about shit you see in the fandom, and bullying - and this has crossed it.

the bit that tickled me especially is that these are the rules for the server. including this private channel attached to the server:

🤷‍♀️

furthermore - and to me this is crucial - do not send ANY level of hate or shit-piling on the author. it will not do anything, it will not resolve anything, and it will just sink you to the same level as this kinda shit that's been going on. anyone i know that is doing so will be blocked. ive ummed and erred over sharing this, but i think people in the server already, or thinking of joining - if they're not aware already- ought to be aware of this before joining and engaging in it.)

(for anyone else reading - please know i have the asker's permission to post this with their url; they are aware it will be public. i am sharing this info (and my take on it, albeit not asked for obviously) so others can make the fully-informed decision to avoid or exit the server etc if they feel that is the best course of action for them. this ask will not be tagged beyond '#ask'.

edit: this ask will also be made unrebloggable.

[wench-and-jezebel]

NCIS Reaction: Sub Rosa

Wench (@scripted-downfall) reacts [with (maybe) occasional asides by Jezebel (@typicalopposite)]

Post-episode EDIT: I’m so sorry for the person I become in this reaction, but it’s really not my fault, I swear.

BREAKING NEWS BULLETIN: SNACK UPDATE!!!  This evening’s refreshments include: apple soda and ice cream!  Ya girl’s eating healthy, for sure.

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ Wot!? Normal snack foods 👀 le gasp Wench: 'Tis true.  But the flavors Do Not Match, btw.  I know this going in Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️ what are the flavors ma’am Wench: Well, apple soda, duh… And mint chocolate chip Jezebel: *typing* Wench: THERE IS A REASON, OKAY?! Jezebel: Meh. Not too bad. The apple soda is still not my cup of tea. ☠️ Wench: It just tastes like apple sparkling fake champagne.  The fake bubbly you can get so kids can have champagne without the alcohol?  You know what I mean? Jezebel: No ☠️ Wench: Well, anyway.  At this point, apple soda is my NCIS reaction drink.  Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️ I love it Wench: So I was going to have ice cream as a dessert because I felt like it, and then I was like.  Welp.  Guess I gotta now. Jezebel: Ah post break up ice cream gorging Wench (simultaneously): I'm not sure it’s fair to stick my personal life into our reactions, but otherwise I'd make a joke about the obligatory show-and-ice-cream-post-break-up binge- Wench (after): Nope.  That’s it.  It's going in now. Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ Wench: Just to clarify for anyone reading this and possibly getting concerned: it was actually quite civil and very mutual, so there’s no actual emotional trauma involved.  Indeed, we just spent an hour chatting on the phone post-break-up and we’re still friends.  :)  Jezebel and I just do dark humor pretty regularly, so it kinda… made sense.

Okay, on to the reaction!

– – –

"Sweet cheeks," huh?

A HAZARD DIAMOND.  WAIT, JEZEBEL, PAUSE; I WANNA READ THE THING.  I know how to do the thing!!!  [lol, okay]  SO.  Crash course on reading these!  Four lil diamonds, right?  Red, blue, yellow, white?  [yes]  Red = flammability; 0 = not at all flammable.  Yellow = reactivity; 0 = very stable.  Blue = health hazard; 4 = DEADLY!!!  And white = specific hazard; I think corrosive is pretty self-explanatory aslkdfj  SO.  These vats are.  Concerning.  [Ah! 👀👀👀😂  Well I have been educated in case I ever come across these ☠️]

Please don't spill, please don't spil- WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE CORROSIVE!!!!  [Ackkk!]

A body! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE DEADLY!!!!?!?!?  [Ack]

MCGEE!!!!  I HAVE HEARD SO MUCH!!!!  [He hassss arriveddddd]

Kate being mean (affectionate) to Tony... seems to be decently friendly though :)

Spilling seems to be a trend of the episode, I see.

If it's not coffee, wth is it?

HYDROFLUORIC!?!?!? ACK

Oop- sketch date with McGee?  That's how Tony flirted with Kate, just saying.  And she was trying to throw up on a crime scene too

WAIT!  GIBBS/KATE PARALLEL!!!  TONY JUST GAVE MCGEE A RULE TO FOLLOW ON HIS FIRST CASE!  LAKSDJF;LKAJFDS

McGee's so cute alskdjf  He's endearingly awkward

Tony is indeed picking on McGee, I see  [😂😂😂😂]

Abbyyyyy, my beloved  [You’re going to like ducky’s new assistant when he comes]

Maybe he just had a dolphin-tail birthmark, ever think of that?!?!  [☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️]

They're tuning out Ducky again :(

MCGEE AND TONY ARE GIVING EACH OTHER ONCE-OVERS!!!  DID YOU SEE THAT?!?!  [Yes]

Poor McGee.  He was just trying to help and Gibbs was so mean and for what :(  

[Tonyyyy enjoying this]  adsflkjadsflkj it was just seeing McGee nose-to-nose with someone and the Thoughts it brought up

"Spec-a-la-tive" is fun pronunciation

"The presence of a woman on a submarine is a tremendous inconvenience"  Buddy's sounding like Our Flag Means Death!Frenchie.  [☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️]  “Because women have crystals in their body, and the crystals attract demons, and the demons attract misfortune.”  [😂😂😂😂 Kate’s a mermaid]

Gibbs gonna go off?

Gibbs gonna go off.

Gibbs gonna go off!!!!

GIBBS GONNA GO OFF!!!!

Kate has no trust in her superior, holy hell.  And stop being a bitch to Tony to make yourself look better, holy hell.  I get she was pissed, but.  Don't tear down your team to build yourself up.

She's getting practice landing on these carriers alksdjf

[Nope.  I’ll just go sip my tea and shave my legs and not go on the submarine]

Wait.  WAIT.  This means Tony and McGee are on land together.  Buddies better work together :)

HOLD UP IS THAT AARON?!!? THAT'S AARON!!!  OMG I LOVE HIM!!! (Aaron Pierce from 24)

Betting on submarine pseudo-chicken; did I mention I love Aaron? (or whatever his name is in this) aslkdfj

Abby and Ducky, my beloveds once more

TANDOORI!  My man has good taste.  [I’ve never had it]  My woman (Jezebel) does not have good taste

[I could never.  Never.  NEVEERRRR.  Get on a submarine.]  'Cause you're scared of drowning?  Or a different-  [Have I told you I’m deathly afraid of the water?]  Ah  [Yes.  Ackkkkk]

WAIT I KNOW THIS DUDE TOO.  idk, I can’t focus on filmography rn.

I.  would (probably) not wear Abby's collar, this time.

"You getting lonely down there all by yourself, hon?"  "Oh, I'm not alone; I'm with Special Agent McGee!"

Tony jealousssss  [☠️☠️☠️☠️]  "What's she like?  She sounds cute."  "Not your type... We'll never speak of this again"  [☠️☠️☠️☠️  Shessss not your type I am]  

This episode summarized: Among Us.  NO WAIT LITERALLY; THE ACID LITERALLY LEFT BEHIND A LITTLE HUNK OF MEAT WITH BONE THO

[Well hell the last time I hyperfixated on this show I didn’t write. Lord help me]  Whoops :) 

[“Iiii gotcha Jimmy”  His drawl]  I told you I love Aaron!!!

adsflkj the lil periscope

This dude was in The Killing, I think.  And a Criminal Minds

Poor Tony

Ducky's bow tie and suspenders are adorable

He and Abby are so cute, plz

HE'S SO CUTE!  Ducky, I love you [😂😂😂😂😂]

And Abby actually listens to Ducky

Tony flirting with both the Lieutenant and McGee in the same conversation

ACK!?!?!?  PAUSEEEEEE  [😂😂😂😂😂]  "You don't need my permission to ask her a question... unless you want to ask her out on a date."  "No, sir.  Not my type."  SIR!??!?!?!

– – –

It's time for my midpoint reaction but I warn you now that my mind is swamped by one particular interaction.  Gibbs’ rudeness is forgotten; Kate’s bitchiness has been abandoned; Abby and Ducky, while cute, have been momentarily swept aside; and, in their place, only one thing remains…

TONY AND MCGEE, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.

*clears throat*  Sorry.  I had to say it.  Yes, this will be a trend. Yes, it will also likely be somewhat subtle since I know that’s not everyone’s ship.  But. Jezebel was right that I’d pick up on this immediately.  I will still mostly be focused on writing, characterization, and plot.  It's just.  Not my fault if the characterization is that Tony is bi as all get out.  *shrugs*  Whoops.  The once-overs.  The flirting in exactly --- exactly --- the same way Tony flirts with Kate.  The "not my type" conversations.  It's incontrovertible, I'm afraid  [😂😂😂😂  I love it]

Okay, but, back to the basics… Gibbs standing up for Kate makes me happy, and I did appreciate the continuity in him sending her out of the room to do it; for once, it’s showing that he both a) cares about his team members and b) doesn’t want to say as much in front of them, and this diminishes my previous complaints a bit.  I need to start keeping track of who writes/wrote the good episodes, tbh.  [iirc he does it for all of them at some point]  That’s good.  Wish it were more consistent, but I’m happier than I was.  [Idk when tho ☠️]

I don't know if there's much more to add, tbh.  I had so much to say and then.  Welp.  McGee.  He thwarted all of it with one once-over and a subtle euphemism alksdjf  [I think now that McGee is here you will enjoy it all a little more]  Judging by things as they stand, I do think I like him a lot.  He's rising to join the upper echelon of Tony, Abby, and Ducky, ngl.  [Because the banter between Tony and McGee is 😙👌🏼]  The “banter”?  Is that what they're calling it these days?  [😂😂]  Y'all, I'm hilarious, btw.  Just saying.  [I think McGee is the only one still on the show. Maybe ducky too. But idk]  Oof.  Is.  Is Tony dead :(  [No 🙂]  SICK

With that settled, I’m good to go on.

– – –

Tony looking impressed

THE FONDNESS IN THAT SMILE!!!  AND TONY GIVING ANOTHER ONCE-OVER!!!

Yes, Kate, that's why, keep up.  [☠️☠️☠️☠️]

“Un-hydrate”  I'm using that now

McGee, you're such a rule follower salkdjf  That's gonna change  [O-kay… McGeestiel]

ALKSDJF;LAKSDJF HE'S SO CUTE "PLAYING FOOTBALL" ALSKDFJALSKDFJA;LSKDFJ;LAKSDFJ;LAKSDFJ  I CAN'T  TONY, MY BELOVED  YOUR HAIR DID NOT SURVIVE BUT I LOVE IT

alskdjf Pause.  I.  I have so much to say.  Fuck.  The number of pauses we have to take is directly proportional to the number of interactions between Tony and McGee.  [☠️☠️☠️☠️  Yeah, I’m feeling the fics a brewing like indigestion]

I’m just.  THEY’RE SO CUTE OKAY.  I can't.  I can't verbalize this.  I'm half-hyperventilating rn because I'm laughing so hard.  [😂😂😂😂]  I had to pause because my screen was shaking too much.  [Oh also you got the first McGeek]  Yesssss!  McGee looked so endearingly confused  He even had a trench coat on, and I kept waiting for him to tilt his head in confusion  [😂😂😂😂]  I’m in danger.  Actually, I'm past in-danger.  I'm gone.  It's the end.  [NEW SHIP UNLOCKED]  I.  I can't even deny.  They're so fucking cute and it's the first episode.  [😂😂😂😂 I love it]  (To the people who haven't heard me rant about ships before, these are the conversations where my language gets about 50% more foul-mouthed.  I don't really use the f-word unless I'm really pissed or squealing over a ship.  Hint: I'm not pissed rn.)  [😂😂😂😂 isss true. Jezebel confirmed ✔️]

Thompson sus, man.  But it's just because of the characters he usually plays, I'm pretty sure.

Oof, juvie kid.  Hope his superior didn't just hear that and get angry.

COB be angry

"I make it a practice not making snap judgements"  THEY NEED TO LEARN FROM THIS IDEA

Come on, Kate; it's Gibbs.  He's aggravating

Miracles are what Abby does, duh.

HE LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE CAS  [I KNOW!  MY MIND IS DISEASED NOW!  For the people not watching, btw, McGee's crouched down in a tan trench coat in exactly the way Cas crouches.  It’s spooky similar.]

“Under the bookcase” = secret room plz

YESSSSS SECRET ROOM!!!!  SUCCESSFUL PREDICTION: ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED 

Oop- an underground activist alskdfj  How risque  *hand-to-forehead faints*

lkasdjf;lkasdjf;lkasjdflksadjflkasdjf;lkasdjf I'm sorry, but the whale video has me crying  [That whales on drugs]

Tony hovering over McGee's shoulder as he MIT-genius-types away at his computer is Dean hovering over Ash's shoulder as he MIT-genius-types away at his computer coded.  And Dean looks damn happy about Ash asking him to call him later, so.  *wink wink nudge nudge*  [😂😂😂 issss very true!!!]  (I said I'd be subtle, but I'm being about as subtle as these undertones --- er, sorry.  subtext --- have been, so.  This is fair, methinks.)  [☠️☠️☠️☠️]

For people who didn't go to college at Johns Hopkins like McGee here... Jock + Geek = romcom trope  [Yep!  Gotta love it]

[Oh look at that… The agents were right.  Also.  My.  Soul.  Would.  Be.  GONE.]

Oop.  Kate and Gibbs be a bit close.  [GIBBS!]

“Emergency Message: Drew.  End message” Take fewer words, why don't you?

Oh, shit.  [Well, shit.]  Buddy ded.  [Yep]

Dishonorably discharged for what???  I wanna knowwwww

Poor Tony.  Gibbs hung up on him :(  [Shhh he got his lickity boo]  Yer not wrong :)

I. Would not.  Go back under.  I.  Do.  Not.  Trust.

... [Take it away Wench]  NOPE.  NOPE THAT’S IT.  I’M SORRY.  I TRIED FOR SUBTLE.  BUT THEY GAVE UP ON BEING SUBTLE SO NOW I’M GIVING UP ON BEING SUBTLE BECAUSE OH MY HOLY HELL.  I’M JUST GONNA COPY THIS SCRIPT IN, WORD FOR FREAKING WORD, OKAY?!

ABBY: So what's Agent McGee like?TONY: Ah, like most newbies. Quiet, green, gullible.ABBY: Bi.TONY: I don't think so.ABBY: No, Tony, the canister. It has a bi-metal trigger.TONY: Aha. So it's turned on by either...either...what?

[And now Tony’s fumbling]  WHEN I TELL YOU.  THAT THE BREATH LEFT ME.

I was legit sitting here planning to make a quiet, subtle comment about “oh, Tony, why you acting so awkward about telling Abby what McGee’s like” or something.  (Actually, what I sent to Jezebel — right after the initial question — was "He's gonna say: 'Hot'”, and I was two seconds away from putting that joke-and-just-a-joke into the reaction and letting it go.)  And then.

AND THEN.

SIR!?!??!  HELLO!?!?!?!?!?  OH MY FUCKING GOD!?!??!  SIR WHY WAS YOUR BRAIN ON THE MAN’S SEXUALITY; PLEASE FREAKING EXPLAIN!????!?  I.  HELLO!?!?!??  WHAT?!?!?!  JUST.  lkajsd;lfkajsd;flkajsd;lfkjasd;flkjas;ldkf

Fuck.  I-  This-  I just- AHHHHH!?!?!??!

[You good over there?]  NO.  [Wait ahhh! This would be the first ship if you wrote for it’s not ooc to write them fun loving and flirty!!! Omg!!]  I KNOW!!! I FUCKING KNOW!!!  [OMG]  I- Fuck.  FUCK.  [IM SO EXCITED.  And by if I mean whennnn cause ma’am I demanddddd]  OKAY.  PROMPTS ARE OFFICIALLY BEING ACCEPTED!  [🙂]

Okay.  Okay.  I’m done, I think.  I just-  When Jezebel told me that I’d end up shipping them, I figured she meant behind the scenes.  Subtext and- and inferences and stuff.  NOT THIS.  So I needed a moment.  I’m sorry to anyone uninterested; it’s reallyyyy not my fault.  Feel free to skim past.

ON WITH THE REACTION.

Tony stuttering is so cute.

Abby: "is Agent McGee cute?"  Tony: *Avoids the question*  [Awww Abby!]

Kate.  I don't think "he was a whacko" counts as evidence.

Bro, why.  Wh- Why would you trust the random ice cream delivery?  I.  Like, making room for the body makes sense.  But also.  WHY WOULD YOU TRUST IT.

Wait, how tf do they know about the cold thing?  How did the message get through; I'm so confused?  Wouldn't they have to surface?

Also, the squishing/sloshing noise of the body is killing me

I hope the sarin being released in this way doesn't, you know, affect the ecosystem

alksjfdlkasdjf the ice cream is definitely important

Ooh, I like Gibbs' coat

– – –

This reaction here jumps to the end of the episode for the end reaction because my brain decided to error out.  Literally.  For reference, the pertinent snippet of our Discord conversation:

So, um.  To condense the end into one big reaction is difficult.  It would result in a keyboard smash.  As you can see in the photo above because, well, that’s what happened.  Let me add in the script again.

TONY: Didn't they teach you how to use email at MIT?KATE: You graduated from MIT?GIBBS: And Johns Hopkins.TONY: I didn't tell him.GIBBS: What are you doing here?MCGEE: Oh, I've, ah got a lunch date with Abby.TONY: I gotta see this. I'll take you to her.MCGEE: Thanks.TONY: Thanks what?MCGEE: Tony?TONY: Sir. I already warned you - Abby's not your type.MCGEE: Well, I'd like to find out for myself.TONY: Yeah, listen kid, ah...I don’t wanna hurt your feelings, but you're not exactly Abby's type.MCGEE: I've taken care of that. Remember that urge you were talking about? I went with Mom.KATE: I wonder what he said to make Tony speechless.GIBBS: He told him he got a tat on his ass.

I- AH?!!?  I just.

Look.

Tony teasing McGee about his resume.  Tony going, “I didn’t tell him” when Gibbs mysteriously knows Mcgee’s resume too.  Tony insisting on escorting McGee to meet Abby.  Tony insisting that Abby and McGee wouldn’t get along for no reason whatsoever.  McGee able to leave Tony — Tony — speechless.  I just-  Hehh!?!??!?!

I’m sorry, McGee, but you’re not allowed to stay on the show.  It’s just… it’s not allowed.  This is posing a serious health and safety risk to Reactor Wench of Perdition Reactors and she’s not happy.  And Reactor Jezebel has refused to allow her to die, so this isn’t allowed.  Repeated breathing-halts can cause health risks.

I’m sooooo sorry to anyone reading this without any interest in this whatsoever, but.  Um.  It’s really not my fault, okay?  I’m a slave to the muse.  And the muse… made herself clear.  I might return to normal again.  Maybe.  At some point.  [I just ☠️☠️☠️ I love how all the reactions have been super character critical and analyzing deeper meaning.  And then he said McGee in the beginning of this one and you were like Ohp… who now !?  And you just been gone ever since.]  Look, IN MY DEFENSE.  I am going to give the deeper analysis too.  But when I’m deprived of oxygen, I tend to focus on the cause, ya know?  [This is from a very serious series. Where someone was murdered btw]  I… don't care.  Body?  Ugh.  Eh.  Who cares.  Derivative.  Jock + Geek = <3?  Fascinating.  Fresh.  Beloved.

“I hate procedural cop shows. There's like three hundred of them on television and they're all the freaking same. It's ooh, plane crashed here—oh shut up.”  - Dean Winchester, re. CSI

😍 - Dean Winchester, re. Dr. Sexy

Translation: repetitive procedural show = blah; repetitive procedural show with Romantic Interactions = amazing.  See?  It just… It just lifts the show’s quality, you know?  

ANYWAY.

On to my usual deeper analysis side of things.  Gibbs was decent in this, albeit grouchy.  Still not sure what he meant by “that’s not coffee”, though.  I thought that maybe he was going to use the pattern of the spill to figure something out about the acid?  But they basically forgot about the acid-dead-body-thing as soon as the tattoo was found, so I guess not.  Kate was cool — and, btw, her banter has been getting better… her thing with Tony at the end of this episode was kinda sweet, actually, with the “they make you the sub mascot?” “is this your way of saying you missed me?” exchange — and, with the exception of that bit at the beginning (about which I commented above), she continues to rise higher in my estimation.  Abby and Ducky are still adored; same with Tony.  Shockingly — since nothing about the earlier reaction could possibly have suggested this — McGee has already skyrocketed up there too.

Character ranking, as it stands now, is as follows:

Tony ≈ McGee ≈ Abby ≈ Ducky > Kate ≈ Gibbs (except that Kate is just a touch better than Gibbs due to last episode)

The writing seemed mostly decent!  The storyline seemed to mostly hold together — it did kinda annoy me that the acid body just kinda… dropped off the face of the map?  But otherwise — and I thought it was pretty well-done overall, actually.  [They yeeted the man out in a torpedo ☠️😂]  Yes, but it was a valid way to get rid of the gas.  Only issue that I see is that it might have ruined the whole, you know, habitat.  But I don’t know enough about sarin to be sure one way or the other.  And the ice cream was kinda out of nowhere — and not what I’d expect from a sub — but I guess they had vodka, so maybe it’s not completely bizarre.  I did like the reveal of why they were eating the ice cream; that was nicely understated, if that makes sense?  [To make room for the body?]  Yeah.  Like, they said it outright, but it was also... dark and quiet in a way most stuff isn't?  And delayed; they didn't outright say "oh, we gotta put the body somewhere."  They acted like it really was something they didn’t want to talk about.  [Yeah that was hilarious.]

Okay, I think that’s a wrap, folks!  Sorry for the screeching; this was.  Unexpected. See y’all next time (and please stick with us despite me being unhinged)!

[ghcstvalleychief]

Porsche, Arrested Development, & his Judgment

This is going to be a follow-up to this post about Porsche's arrested development, because I think it applies here.

Porsche has finally learned from his mistakes and took his lessons to heart and did what he was always meant to do - find out the truth about his parents' death. He may not have known that when he initially gave in and took the job, but everything that's happened was leading up to this very moment.

However, Porsche wouldn't be Porsche if he didn't apply his own impulsive flair to it. I love Porsche, but he is a flawed individual through and through (like all of the characters on this show). Porsche has an issue with planning and preparation. All in all, I don't trust Porsche's judgment at all. We've all been hoping and wishing that Porsche would finally learn how to be more calculating, less naïve, and less trusting. The problem is that it's not a natural instinct for Porsche to be any of those things. Yes, we saw him attempt to do so in this last episode. However, Porsche still reverts back to his old ways when forced into that persona.

Porsche is a liar.

Porsche claims not to trust anyone, but he had to employ just a little bit of trust to even carry out this plan. He made the decision to trust Vegas, of all people, in this scenario and it's working out for him so far. Granted, there's still time for things to go differently because Vegas has never been his outright sadistic self in front of Porsche and he's just being who he's always been around him. Which we know was never the real Vegas to begin with. He was just acting the part to gain Porsche's trust, which had proven to be quite successful time and time again. Hopefully, for Porsche's sake, Vegas has been forever changed by his situation with Pete and he doesn't stab Porsche in the back but I digress.

Porsche, for all of this perceived bravado he illustrated this last episode, is still himself. He trusts the people he shouldn't; he trusts the wrong people. Trust isn't Porsche's issue. His judgment is. Porsche trusts people fairly easy, and he still does. He may claim that he doesn't but that's B.S. It's like someone else said - don't listen to what the characters are saying, watch what they're doing. All of these characters are lying to themselves and to the audience, so throw all of that out. Porsche had to trust Vegas to even find his uncle and to bring the money because that was all apart of the plan. Porsche had to trust that the person, who has been lying to his face the entire time & set off a chain of events that ended with his brother being kidnapped, would legitimately help him find out the truth and not sell him out. Not to mention the fact that this is the same person who drugged him and tried to sexually assault him too, which he still doesn't know for some strange reason.

The odd thing about all of this is the fact that I think Porsche somehow knows that. Porsche doesn't know if he can trust his own judgment. It's why he didn't tell Kinn anything. He loves Kinn, and I'd even hazard a guess and say that he even trusts him in his own way. But Porsche's internal struggle this last episode was due to him being unsure if he could tell Kinn what he was planning and what he found out without Kinn going back to Korn and ruining Porsche's plan. Porsche has reverted back to his arrested development - he's being the teenager who is trying to prove to Mom and Dad that he's responsible enough to make his own decisions and intelligent enough to make the right decisions.

Except, what usually happens when teenagers attempt to prove themselves capable of being treated like an adult? They screw up. It never ends the way they want it to end because teenagers don't know how to plan for the future. They're not even thinking about the future and the long-term consequences of their actions. They have no concept of long-term consequences whatsoever. None. That's where Porsche is in his journey. Even though Porsche had a plan and he may not have thought he would survive this, did he think about what would happen if his investigation yielded different results? Did he think about what he would do if he found out that Korn isn't the one who murdered his parents? Probably not. If not, then what? What's the next step? What's the third step? If you do survive, how are you going to deal with the consequences of what you've done?

Porsche's judgment is shaky. He trusts everyone, including the people he shouldn't. It's interesting to watch him tell Vegas that he doesn't trust anyone, because it's a lie. He was lying. Porsche doesn't have enough faith in his judgment to trust anyone, and that's why he said it. It's not because it's true; it's because he doesn't know how to convey such a thing.

I don't trust Porsche's judgment, but neither does he. I think that's going to be the big thing going into the finale for him and ultimately for his relationship with Kinn. I think Porsche is going to be hit with a reality check pretty early on in the next episode and that's going to be the thing that forces him to grow up and to stop reverting back to his adolescence. Porsche is going to have to learn how to strengthen his judgment if he insists on living the life he truly wants.

[ginza-division]

Eiji's Thoughts on Ueno Division

Aranai Norikoru

"This is that young Bōsōzoku girl, correct? I remember she and her gang of misfits used to ride all throughout Ginza in the early hours of the morning. We called the police to be rid of them, but they never got here on time to catch them. And even when they did, she and her friends would always give them the slip. I was glad the day the police managed to arrest them. I thought that would be the last my family and I would ever see of her, but when I found out she was the one leading a team into the D.R.B., well... I guess that was too much to hope for."

"Besides that, she seems to be a frequent user of PROFILE. Much of what she posts consists of pictures of her and her friends, or her driving through her city with her bike, which I do not condone, by the way. I'm worried she may be influencing Akeno because he keeps asking us to buy him a motorbike. I really don't want to know why..." Eiji sighs.

Shisuta Heisha

"So this is the young woman whom Masa seems to despise so much? ...I'm almost afraid to ask 'why'. She seems to be a very gentle, likable person, a stark contrast to my dear teammate. What's more, a part of me can sympathize with her over the loss of her child. I've not experienced that, but..." Eiji looks away, afraid to say anything else. He looks solemn for a couple of seconds, before shaking his head, and looking back at the screen.

"As stated, I really don't see what Masa's issues with her are. But knowing him and what he gets up to, I can only hazard a guess and believe that the two of them may have had some... falling out. I'm more than likely wrong, but that's just my guess. Besides that, she doesn't really seem to have much of an Internet life. She has a PROFILE, but it's rarely used. Oh well. I know the site isn't for everyone, but I'd rather have people not use it than use it for the wrong reasons."

Kisouna Yuzairu

Eiji looks at the photo of the attorney, and sighs.

"Anyone with any sense knows about this woman. Kisouna Yuzairu, the one-woman army who successfully managed to root out the Black Dragon gang almost single-handedly. Like many other people in Japan, I was there when she made her announcement about ruling out all crime in the country. And so far, she's held true to that promise. Thankfully, despite the amount of lawsuits PROFILE and Sigma Inc. have been hit with, we've managed to avoid getting on this woman's bad side. I pity the simpleton who manages to get her upset."

"She, like Shisuta-san, seems to have a PROFILE, but she doesn't really use it either. The few pics she's uploaded are just of her and her daughter, which is nice. I can kind of understand why she's so adamant to erase all crime. Doing it for the sake of your child is a noble and worthwhile pursuit. I just hope she remembers to pace herself."

Sakurai Clan

"Despite only having one battle, the team representing Ueno is widely popular among divisions, which is odd considering that their city is really just a part of a much larger one (Taitō). Still, that fact alone doesn't diminish their strength. Plus, they seem to be in good standing with the majority of the teams, especially Saitama."

"...If I'm being honest, they may be our biggest threat. Not because I don't think we can't win. But rather, because I'm worried Masa may take his issue with Heisha-san too personally. If we face them, I hope he can keep his emotions in check."

"..."

"...What am I saying? Of course, he won't."

[acherontiarchivist]

Status Update: Koi No Yokan

Ok everyone, progress report is Koi No Yokan will soon be leaving hiatus. I have given a lot of thought about where I want it to go from here, and honestly I am dying to get the plot I had planned out for it really rolling. At first I wanted to take more time with the slowburn romance, but more than pining I want to cultivate the feeling of fear and anxiety. Yes, there will still be romance, obviously, and lots of smut! But fear has been a driving force with me creatively lately, and I am dying to get that ball rolling more with the plot that i have planted the seeds for, and also so I can move on to other fic ideas. (I have plans for a gabirel fic and a danny johnson fic in the works). There is an end in sight for koi no yokan, but fear not, it is not near, only hovering the horizon. I haven't completely figured out how exactly I want to end it yet. It could go two ways– a good end, fuzzy and romantic and comforting, and a bad end, with loss and tragedy and fear of what is to come. I'm honestly leaning towards the bad end, but that's where the readers come in (that's you)! As it stands I have seven chapters outlined and more to go, and a few chapters partially written. I'm not quite sure how many chapters are left truthfully, if I had to hazard a guess I'd say 10-15, including the chapters I've outlined.

As a thanks for waiting so long, I'll post a little teaser from the next chapter under the cut

(Also, sorry for the long post)

Two glasses of ginger ale sit patiently on the table, collecting condensation. You try not to sweat as much, nervously biting at your nails, wondering how to best bring up the night you came home naturally. Sure, he was occupied for a few days riding a wave of inspiration, you've been there, you could understand that. But was he really? Could that just have been an excuse? He is certainly taking a long time to bring over a few sketches and paintings. Maybe he didn't really have anything to show for his excuse.

A bead of water drips down the glass and collects onto the wooden coaster, captivating your vacant stare. Steady, rapid klinks begin to overlay the fizzy bubbles of the drinks. You worry that Selina's message on her business card pressured him to move more quickly than he was ready for. Was he really going to confess his feelings for you that night, or did he dig himself into a hole and spend the last three days hiding from the mess he made? Either way, you just want to make things right. You can't keep fighting the heavy weight bearing down on your chest, the sense of guilt that has shackled your ankles since he left your house in a hurry with a slam of your front door. God, why do you always do this? You're catastrophizing again, you worry yourself too much. Maybe it's a habit picked up from the constant paranoia that plagued your not so distant past.

Keys release the deadbolt, knocking you out of your spiral just in time. Vincent peers around the door carrying a large, aged leather portfolio. You dart your hand away from your mouth and sit on them both to avoid the scolding for picking up that nervous habit again. "Hi, Vinny," you smile, trying not to look too perturbed.

He approaches your side and places the portfolio flat on the table. When he gets situated on the couch, he places one hand on your knee, steadying your bouncing leg and ceasing the hypnotic klinking noise. How long have you been bouncing your leg?

"Sorry," you look down to the floor out of disappointment in yourself. His thumb rubs your knee as a soothing gesture and you fight back a blush. "So, you gonna open this baby up or what?" You try to sound more chipper and meet his stare with a lopsided smile, letting your hair fall over your face slightly.

Vincent hesitates momentarily before nodding and leaning over to gingerly untie the bound leather. He takes in a heavy breath to brave himself for what he has no doubt is the serious embarrassment and rejection to come, then almost half heartedly flips the top wing of the portfolio over to reveal the sketches and paintings he had spilled his heart into underneath. The couch creaks under his weight as he retreats back into the couch and releases a breath he didn't know he was holding onto. His hand reaches out to grab your own, but goes unnoticed as you sink to the floor on your knees.

 You can't believe what you see spread out on the table before you. Countless loose sketch papers spill from the portfolio, pushed to the floor and falling in your lap as you grab each one and examine it briefly before taking in the next. You. They're all you. Some you can tell are drawn from memories the two of you share– you at the dinner table, laughing with Bo and Lester, you celebrating your miraculous win at a game of pool, you cooking breakfast in the Sinclair's kitchen. Shaky breaths fight to enter your lungs, all the while your chest rising sporadically.

Composure threatens to slip your grasp. Finally, you try to neatly gather them and set them aside from the oil painting that laid beneath the piles of paper. A woman stands in a dark forest, the full moon a halo behind her head. She holds antlers on top of her head and three wolves lay by her feet. This, you realize, is you as well. Your back meets the couch as you try to process it all. All of the words slip your mind, as if you've suddenly forgotten to speak English. You open your mouth to say something, anything, but nothing escapes the void.

Vincent can hear his own heart beating in the silence of the room, threatening to deafen him, even drive him mad. He can't take it, he knows what's coming. His leg twitches as he decides to get up, leave and run away, to never turn back, to lock himself away in his safe place and never see the light of day again. But something happens, something he didn't quite expect.

As soon as you feel him move, your hand almost instinctively meets his knee as if to freeze him to the spot. Now the only sounds occupying the space are his wavering breaths hitting cold wax and the loud pulse that you could no longer tell whether it was his or your own. For the first time in a long time, Vincent finds himself fighting back tears. You swear you could almost hear him whimpering as you pull yourself onto the couch, sitting on your knees and facing him. "Vincent," you whisper and stare at the rise and fall of his chest, unable to make eye contact, still trying to work up the courage.

"Vincent, the other night, I thought I–" you take a deep breath and look him in the eye, "I thought I really fucked up. I thought I had pushed you to– I don't know, rush things I guess?"

He looks at you, unmoving, waiting. You shake your head and look at your hands, picking at a hangnail. "Fuck, I guess I still could be jumping the gun here," you laugh nervously. "Vinny, I just have to hear it from you, okay? Before you run away and hide again and avoid me and leave me a nervous wreck. Please, just tell me if I'm reading into this too much," you gesture to the pages littering your living room. No response from him still, only his grip tightening on the arm of the couch, threatening to rip the upholstery.

"I need to know you want me, too." It comes out as a whisper, tailed by a halted gasp that slips past his lips. Time stops for just a moment between you two, no movement, not a sound. You almost admit defeat and begin to nod your head and turn away, but a strong, calloused hand meets the side of your face and returns it to its previous position, now met with the smooth texture of his mask pressing against your skin. His right arm snakes around you to hold you steady against his chest by the back of the neck, sending Shivers down your spine. His grasp is firm, but not rough, you feel his other arm moving outside of your periphery, then you hear a clatter on the end table directly behind you. You close your eyes, partially because you know that's what he would want and partially as a reaction from his hot breath meeting the bare skin of your neck. His lips ghost your ear and you swear you can almost hear some semblance of 'want you' in his breath before he pulls back to kiss you once again. 

[nerves-nebula]

WAIT YEAH I FOUND YOUR POSTS TALKING ABOUT DENJI AND YOU ARE SO RIGHT

man in the first episode or two I was thinkign "you know if someone came and offered me the chance to disappear, have garunteed food, shelter, and friends positive(????) human(?) interaction I'd totally take the offer too"

like I know his character is supposed to, at least in some ways, represent the lows someone can reach when deprived of so much of what other's take for granted and how that can be used for manipulation, but uhhhh did they have to make him relatable? Like?

That mindset fr fr is hard to break, it's so tempting to want to just.. stop thinking and be able to exist somewhere safe even if it came at the cost of being recognized as human

anyways thanks for giving me a new show to be feral over >:D

FOR REALLLLL CAUSE LIJKE LISTENNN I know I'm preaching to the choir here but-

i hate when people simplify Denji or say hes JUST a horny teenager cause its like!!! YOU FOOL YOU'VE FALLEN FOR THE FRONT HE PUTS UP!! Like how do I say that that it is both TRUE that he's a horny pervert teenaged boy but its ALSO TRUE that that doesn't make him a bad character or even a bad person and he's got!! so much going ongsagdsnfjs!!

I guess I just superrr relate to him sometimes cause its like, well the house i grew up in wasn't great. to paraphrase my sister "everything was a fire hazard and nothing got better. Old issues stayed and new ones just popped up" <- see the hole above my bed

so like he's just really relatable. when i moved away to a boarding high school for a year, it was amazing cause it was like I finally had my own space! but it was also embarrassing and hard cause i had really bad hygiene and I didn't know how to manage my own time and I forgot to eat at lot which resulted in me hoarding a bunch of food and it was just kind of a messy time. But I still loved it! and i love college and never having to go back to that house again!!

WHICH IS JUST A LONG GUSHING WAY OF SAYING i get it and I think Denji is a really realistic portrayal of someone who's had the kind of life he has. He has his goals -even if other people look down on them or think they're dumb or simple- and he's grateful for the things that bring him joy and hes a HORNY teenager and that's soooo cool fsdfsdf

anyway ur welcome but you prolly would've found it anyway, chainsaw man is like really popular now i think