#cheeky bastards

[notquitekris]

- Daniel Howell and Phillip Lester, 2018.

[drconstellation]

I've had this sitting in my drafts box going now where for a while, but thought I'd drag this pair of cheeky bastards out today and clean them up.

So I originally saw someone do a post about Aziraphale making a "tongue-in-cheek" gesture to Crowley about "the Clue" when he was asking to take the Bentley to Edinburgh in S2E2. Just "pop up there myself and investigate." This is just after he just "popped up" from behind the Bentley to investigate whether he could take it himself to Edinburgh? That's bold of you, you cheeky angel!

He's already been teased by Crowley for calling it a Clue with a capital C, (and why we should be wary of Clues)

but Aziraphale is pretty sure he on to something here, as shown to us by the following few seconds (see screenshots below, note there is another tongue-in-cheek moment here at the beginning), just after the archangels leave the book shop in S2E2 having questioned him over the cause of the 25 lazurii miracle. He puts on the single of "Every Day" he got from Maggie to listen to while he examines newspaper clippings from around the world in different languages, each of them reporting about this strange occurrence in Edinburgh where a jukebox "miraculously" seems to turn every record put into it into Buddy Holly's "Every Day:

The parallel "tongue-in-cheek" moment from Crowley happens in S2E1, during the chat with Lord Beelzebub in Hell, while he is lounging across the two thrones that they have installed in their office (and if you are wondering about the thrones there is a nice little post about them here).

Here's what Beelzebub is saying just beforehand:

Well, that's one way of putting it...Crowley knows Gabriel has "vanished" not once, but twice! Firstly in body and secondly his memory has vanished, too. Oh boy. But Crowley is in a dangerous situation here so he's he's acting in his cool-but-alert mode.

Then Crowley uses this lovely, slightly archaic, expression:

"It's a big universe, lots of places an archangel on the lam could have a wonderful time and never be seen again."

"On the lam" is a term that means "in flight from the authorities." In flight? Get it? Go Roger the Stunt Fly! Bwahahaha! Tongue in cheek, indeed, Crowley. *snort*

I would also hazard a guess that the second half of that sentence is a second ref to the Hunting of the Snark in S2E1 (I propose that there one to do with the Eccles cakes here). Gabriel has gone hunting his Snark and accidentally tripped up in front of a Boojum, and has "softly and suddenly vanish[ed] away, and [may] never be met with again."

[ruthlesslistener]

YOUR BUDGIES ARE SO FUCKING CUTE IM GOING TO THROW UP

THEY ARE ARENT THEY ID LITERALLY KILL FOR THEM

THE BOIS!!!

[silver-rings-and-rabbits]

Are they asking me if I want more focus on the same MC for each book, or more focus on different MCs for each book? 😬

[linuxbian]

The writers were so wrong for this

[false-fl0]

Fun fact: christmas is apparently NOT Jesus' birthday !

He was born in like september, december 25 is just the winter solstice of yore.

[lopens-gay-cousin]

I'm so glad we get high from plants instead of bugs.

[skeevert]

I think my guardian angels are using reverse psychology on me

[captain-flint]

Tommy 'smooth af' Kinard

[jackharkness]

TORCHWOOD 2.04 “Meat"

[mindie-arts]

Matchies~✨

[spirk-trek]

[kaszuma]

Certainly Yours | Hoshina Soshiro

Part 1 of "Certainly Yours"

pairing: Hoshina Soshiro × fem!reader

summary: you and soshiro had been friends for a while now. But sometimes he really tests those boundaries of his

warnings: none. Just light touches but nothing suggestive.

wc: 1,420

--

note: first time writing for Hoshina. Sorry if there are inconsistencies or mistakes.

--

Soshiro Hoshina had always been unreadable. Even in the most dire of circumstances, you were always one step behind at predicting the carefully planned steps he took whenever you had the chance of encountering him.

It was evident in the fact that his smile never seemed to reach the crinkles under his eyes. And that cat-like appearance of his, though slackened. Had always made you feel as if he had been observing things thoroughly from a distance. Watching with keen interest as if he knew more than he let others perceive him to know.

And today was no exception.

The constant proximity between each other had been…frustrating to say the least. Whether that would be brushing his shoulders against your own during official meetings. Or placing a steady hand on the small of your back as he moved across the very open spaces of the hallway. You couldn't help but sneak glances at the way his expression had not changed one bit. In fact, it looked rather bemused. As if ignorant to the little touches he'd stolen from you during work. Let alone the glances you two would share even when Captain Ashiro had been right in front of you. Discussing more important matters that surely the Vice Captain had not been listening to.

But to your surprise, he always did. And was usually the first to provide solutions whenever the captain would ask. Leaving you to be the one flustered as you had not been distracted by his knowing gaze.

Because of this, your mind was instantly on the lookout for his next scheme.

I mean who would blame you?

You couldn't help but think this was all another gimmick of his. Entertainment. Just like how he had taken interest in that new recruit they had gotten recently. His motivations are as sly as they are intriguing it seems. And the more you try to decipher his laid-back facade, the less information you get. Keeping his cards close to his chest, as usual.

The Vice Captain had always been like that. His earnesty was often hidden from prying eyes. Though very few were privy to it, there were only very few who were familiar to him. Even Okonogi; likely the one who stuck around with the two Captains, would just let out a sigh at his jubilant expressions.

It had only been a good few years since you had been deployed to work under the Defense Force. Tasked on maintaining the Combat Suits in the case that they needed upgrades, or maybe a few repairs. And since then, the Vice Captain of the Third Division's force had always hovered behind like a thorn on your side.

Close enough so that it's able to poke and scratch you, but far enough away that it doesn't overstay its welcome. Yet somehow you lingered for those touches to stay just a little longer.

His usual friendly quips and visits had been frequent. But they were always curt, his teasing would always leave you with heated cheeks before he would soon disappear as quickly as he came. Like a storm who came to pass by momentarily. He was sure to make a mess out of you.

But the tension had always been palpable between you and Soshiro. Especially now when he had just so happened to enter the premises of your Lab. Wearing that familiar Tight-fitting Combat Suit of his. Respiratory mask and all.

“Vice Captain.” you had smiled. “To what do I owe the pleasure of having you grace me with your presence.”

“Just a maintenance check.” He replied just as quickly. Making you raise a suspicious brow.

“Oh really?” You had moved away from the desk. Neatly brushing away the stack of blueprints that had been piling up. Likely a courtesy from Izumo Tech who were your previous employers. “What's wrong with the suit?”

Hoshina had not wasted a second to step much closer to you. And though normally you would feel a little giddy from his proximity, you wasted no effort to move closer yourself. Hand against the coarse texture of his Combat Suit that hugged the hard ridges of his body. Willingly searching around for any such deformities in the armor. As even the slightest malfunction can mean life or death for frontliners like him. But alas, no such cracks were found. Leaving you to stare at his unwavering eyes.

“I don't see anything wrong with it. Can you tell me anything specific that I can fix up?”

Soshiro had hummed for a moment. Taking his time as he pretended to be deep in thought.

“I guess there's none that I can think of.” Soshiro had let out a soft chuckle. And although the mask had covered half of his face, you could tell that grin of his was definitely there.

“What? Then why did you even come here?”

There was a beat of silence before he spoke again.

“Aren't I allowed to visit a friend?”

And you couldn't help but playfully roll your eyes. The clear faux reasoning of his was amusing at most. But it's definitely making you second guess yourself.

“Friend you say?” You had chuckled, leaning back on your chair whilst facing him. His form had towered over you who had been caged against the chair and his arms.

“First time I've heard of it.” You shrugged. More of a jest in your tone.

“Hey now, and here I thought we had something special.” He chuckled, displaying faux hurt.

And you couldn't help but be frustrated at the way he so meticulously words things.

Something special, huh?

If it were any girl, they'd probably start getting delusional from his words alone. But Soshiro was someone who had no trouble deceiving. Facades and all. And you knew better than to take his words at face value.

But if it were not a joke, then..

…

“Are we Friends?” You had asked again. Just to make sure that you had not been misunderstanding things.

And there was another moment of silence between both parties.

You didn't know exactly what came over you at the moment. It just blurted out, almost as if you had been so frustrated at the way he tiptoed around you. Any confrontation, any meaningful conversation would always be cut short as soon as it started.

And you wonder if you had made the mistake of mentioning the giant elephant in the room.

His expression is as unreadable as ever. And for a moment, you thought you had made a fool out of yourself. Maybe whatever hint he was playing at had all been in your head. As if you had convinced yourself somehow that his interest in you was something more. Something that could indeed grow special. But second-guessing is part of Soshiro's package. And you can't really trade one without the other.

And for a moment a sinking feeling had placed itself in the pit of your stomach. Like you had made a painfully unwise decision that would leave you embarrassed for the next seven years of your life.

But Hoshina had simply stared. It felt like only mere seconds before he leaned in. Hands gripping the arms of the chair you sat on. Effectively trapping you with his body. With no chance of escaping away from his answer.

And just as you are sandwiched between him and the back of the chair. His face had neared your ear. And you could hear the faint breaths from the mask he wore.

“I'm yours certainly. Whether you are mine is up to you.”

His voice had gone an octave lower. And it made you wonder if you were truly hearing him right.

Yeah, no. Friend was definitely not the right word for this. But the admission of it was harder to coax out of him than when you had internalized the thought. The only way to have him say it straight is if you yourself came in like a bull seeing red.

And you sigh at your own lack of subtlety. “Is that your way of asking me out?”

“Maybe.” The slight hesitation in his answer made you raise your brow at him. And you end up sighing, letting go of a breath you didn't know you were holding.

“Your delivery could use some work.”

“I know.” He spoke with an awkward smile. “Do I take that as a yes?”

You smiled. This time, intent on playing his game of cat and mouse. “Maybe.”

And god will you be the death of him.

[spoopy-sloth]

I haven't seen one for these two and thought why not lol.

[katsumiiii]

hobie brown x fem! reader

i feel like hobie is such an unjealous person (which technically isn’t a word but idrc!). like he’s so secure within himself and his partner to where he knows and that he’s as good as it gets. and usually when someone says that it’s such a turn off, but with hobie it’s a subtle cockiness, like a “leave and see what you’ll get” type thing which is irritating and attractive at the same time.

like if someone were to flirt with you I can’t see him getting riled up and starting something. I feel like if anything he’d agree with them ?? and you’re always like wtf bc he’s sitting there chatting with someone who wants to take you away from him, literally urging them to keep ranting about your character.

the only reason he’d get pissed is if they try to touch you. one thing hobie values is personal space, and in his opinion, he’s the only one whose allowed to breach your bubble (he’d always back off if you wanted him too ofc, he’s big on consent!).

soo imagine this, hobie and you Vinyl shopping, searching through the stacks of product for nothing specific, but itching to find a gem among the various piles. hobie had noticed a scrawny guy peaking glances at your figure more often than not and chuckled at the sight.

“‘s guy on your left, been makin’ eyes at ya.” hobie muttered, placing his chin on your shoulder blade.

“mhm really?” you patted the side of his cheek, fingers still sifting through the records below you.

“yeah, prolly thinks you’re cute huh? lil peng ting.” he tickled the sides of your hips, nibbling at the back of your ear.

“shut up hobie, help me find this vinyl. I swear I saw it somewhere….”

“e-excuse me!” a meek voice made both your heads turn, eyes settling on a short male to the left of you.

“yes?” you replied, patting the tops of hobie’s ringed fingers with your own.

“I just wanted to say that you’re very beautiful! and..” he trailed off, fiddling with the dirt underneath his fingernails.

“eh? beautiful!“ hobie left the comfort of your figure to circle around the poor man, clasping his hands on his shoulders, softly shaking them, “she’s fit ain’t she?”

“yeah…” the male shuffled.

“oh ‘m sorry mate, didn’t mean to cut ya off. go on and tell her what you’re thinking, hm?” hobie chuckled, urging the man to continue.

“bee, let’s just go.” you sighed, gently shaking your head.

“wha’, don’t wanna be rude love. let ‘im finish.”

“nevermind, I’ll just get going…” the man awkwardly shuffled away at the sight of your bickering.

“why do you have to be such an asshole?”

“jus’ thought you should accept the man’s compliment.”

“oh fuck off.”

[wildbluesorbit]

This is getting BRUTAL 🫣

@joshskittytickler