#if i held out a lil longer i could have posted the sketches i did while it was out jsjf

[infini-tree]

KICKS DOOR DOWN

the wifi’s back

[preciousthingsareprecious]

Around the Carousel

Catch me joining Damian Wayne Week after it started with some impulse fics. This is for day 2 (I almost made it to actually posting on the 14th my time). I selected the: Undercover prompt.

Summary: Bruce and Damian go undercover at a school fair. They're supposed to be investigating, instead they stop to enjoy themselves.

AO3 Link

~

Bruce tucked his hands into his pockets and smiled down at Damian as the boy adjusted his hat. It was the third time he’d done it in ten minutes as the wind kept pulling at it, trying to tease it off his head.

It was a windy night for them to be out. A steady breeze blew through fair stalls, kicking up banners and tablecloths, and threatening to blow papers and smaller items off of tables. It cut the late Spring heat in a nice way, making the night mild and perfect for a school fair. Which, was exactly where they were at.

“If you’d like, I can carry that for you.” Bruce said.

Damian dropped his hands and looked up at Bruce, “I am fine, Fa--Uncle Matches. It is not bothering me.”

“Alright, whatever you say, kiddo.” Bruce smiled, “You wanna adjust those glasses while you’re at it?”

His son frowned, his nose wrinkling, and sending the glasses sliding a little further down it. It was unreasonably cute. Bruce held up his phone and snapped a photo of his son. The flash went off and when Bruce dropped his phone Damian was looking surprised.

“For posterity's sake.” Bruce explained, examining the picture, it had caught Damian’s expression perfectly.

He attached it to a text and sent it to Dick, anticipating a response of jealousy from his eldest. Dick was in Bludhaven, working his own case, and had to bow out of joining the Matches boys as they went undercover.

“Uncle Matches, are you planning to spend all night looking at your phone or are we to explore the fair? You promised to examine my entry for the art exhibit.”

How Damian had managed to get a piece in an art exhibit at a school he didn’t even attend Bruce was still figuring out. Apparently he’d had Oracle hack into the system and create a profile and enrollment information for one Matthew “Matches” Malone. Damian’s art was set up under the moniker Lil’ Matches, and even thinking about it made Bruce smile.

“Of course, lead the way.”

Damian nodded, the action shaking his glasses loose again. Bruce bit back a smile. It was Damian who’d insisted on going the Clark Kent route with glasses and selecting clear ones to help obscure their identities, instead of the normal shades that paired with the Matches persona. It would be hard to defend sunglasses at a fair that took place mostly after dark.

It had been a good call, so far no one had recognized them in their suits and glasses, and they’d been able to enter the fair and purchase game tickets with ease.

His kid adjusted the glasses again, turned on his heel and began to lead Bruce. He followed at a leisurely pace, enjoying the lights strung across stalls, the smell of food frying, and the calls of students manning games and trying to get them to use their tickets to purchase sketches or experiences.

“I believe our target is one of the art students. Most have been asked to spend time by their pieces at the exhibit.” Damian explained as he walked.

“What time is their slot?” Bruce asked, eyes catching on a bottle toss game.

“He should arrive in approximately an hour.”

“An hour you say?” Bruce hooked an arm around Damian’s shoulders and spun him back towards the bottle toss, “Then why don’t we spend some time enjoying the fair, my dear nephew?”

Damian stopped and looked up at him with open surprise, “But we are on a case?”

“At a school fair. The likes of which I don’t think you’ve ever properly attended. Didn’t the one at your school get interrupted?”

“No.”

Bruce frowned, “You didn’t go, I remember that. What happened?”

His son looked down at the ground, fascinated by the way dust coated his shoe, “There was a Scarecrow attack the night prior. I--was incapacitated by it.”

He remembered now. Damian had taken a dose of toxin for Tim when his brother’s mask had cracked. Both of them had been down for a while, but Damian had been exposed longer than Tim by the time Batman and Spoiler had arrived. He’d been shaky and sick for days after.

Bruce squeezed Damian’s shoulder, “All the more reason to enjoy this one.”

He tried not to think about how Dick would have remembered right away and not pushed the subject, or how even if he had fallen in this pit he’d have figured out how to cheer Damian right away, “We can afford some distraction, you don’t want to be bored for an hour do you?”

Damian hummed, and glanced up, “I would not be opposed to trying a game or two.”

“Perfect, let’s start with the ring toss.” Bruce smiled.

They traded in some tickets for both of them to get a chance at the ring toss. The operator pointed at some green rimmed bottles, “Get at least three rings on the green and you’ll win a prize. If both of you get three onto green you can get one of the big ones or two smaller prizes.”

They had four chances each. Bruce glanced at Damian. He was focused, feeling the weight of the rings in his hands, and eyeing the bottles like he was doing the math in his head calculating what it would take to get them perfectly in place.

After a moment Damian tossed the first ring, it caught at the edge of one of the green bottles and slipped off. He frowned at it, nodded, and then tossed his remaining three in quick succession. All three landed around bottles.

Bruce grinned, and looked up to see the surprise on the operator's face. His son was extraordinary, and Bruce loved seeing him show off.

He took his own time tossing his rings, landing three as well, and missing his last. He shrugged, not minding missing one. They still met the requirements for the big prize.

“Well, kiddo, what do you want?” He asked.

Damian looked up at the racks of plushes hanging from the top of the booth, considering. He pointed at two of the smaller ones. One was a dog dressed as Batman, with a little cowl and cape, and the other was a duck wearing a green deerstalker cap, with a small magnifying glass attached to one of its wings.

The operator handed Damian both animals with a smile, “Good choices, looks like you’re a fan of detectives.”

“Yes.” Damian said, “I am, as is my brother. He will enjoy the duck. Thank you for the diverting game, and best of luck with others.”

As they walked away, Damian handed Bruce the duck, “I trust you to keep an eye on this.” he said, “If you lose it Timothy will be terribly disappointed. I cannot miss bringing him a souvenir twice in a row.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow at him, “It’s not for Dick?”

“Tt, I would have selected a different animal for him, perhaps an elephant or bird.” Damian fiddled with one of the ears of the cowl on his dog, “I promised Timothy a prize if I won one last time, it was supposed to be in exchange for driving Jon and I. Even though the event did not happen, he might still enjoy one from here.”

“I’m sure he will.” Bruce said, resisting the urge to tug Damian into a tight hug, “What would you like to do next? That didn’t take us very long.”

His son looked around the fair, “Perhaps we could try one of the rides? Is there one you particularly enjoy?”

Bruce looked up around them, the fair had a variety of rides. The school had managed to hire a good selection, including a carousel. Bruce pointed at it, they could just see the pointed top from where they were.

“The carousel, you’ll love it.”

This time Bruce led, with Damian close by his side, as they walked, Bruce gave into the desire to reach down and take Damian’s hand in his own. When the boy looked up at him Bruce smiled, “It’s normal for families to do, especially in a busy place like this.”

The crowd wasn’t so thick Bruce was worried about losing Damian, but the move felt natural. He’d held his other children’s hands at events like this before, even Tim’s, though they’d gone well after the boy was the usual age for hand holding when wandering around an event. Damian didn’t seem too upset, in fact he gave Bruce’s hand a squeeze.

“That makes sense. As my Uncle you would be concerned for my safety and wish me to stay close.”

“Of course.” Bruce nodded.

Soon they reached the carousel. Bruce watched Damian with a close eye as they approached. Damian’s face went from cautious and curious, to delighted. There was something about being at the fair and undercover that seemed to let his son react a little more openly than he might if they were somewhere else. Bruce contributed it to the magic of the night.

“It has animals?” he asked, looking up at Bruce.

“Yep, different types. Carousel horses and animals are actually a really unique type of art. There are some horses that have sold for tens of thousands of dollars.” He explained, “And some artists who spend their whole lives making just horses for them.”

Damian’s eyes had gone very wide now, his face open with childlike delight, “And we are allowed to ride them?”

“Most yes, this one probably isn’t as fancy as some, but if you’re interested I’m sure we can visit a few of the more famous ones. I bet Dick’s seen some really cool ones from when he was younger.”

The look on Damian’s face, of excitement and anticipation was enough to melt Bruce’s heart and say yes to anything the kid might ask. Bruce tugged him forward.

“Come on, let’s get in line.”

They didn’t have long to wait, just until the ride stopped and emptied off. From there, they traded in a few more tickets for a chance to ride. Damian wandered the whole of the ride before selecting a white horse with gold trimmings. Bruce took the brown one beside it. They’d taken so long selecting, that almost the moment after they were settled, the ride began to move.

Damian’s laugh when the horse he was on began to rise and fall along with the forward momentum of the carousel was like music. Bruce wanted to take him on every carousel in the world to keep hearing that laugh and seeing that smile.

“May we go again?” Damian asked, the moment the ride stopped.

“Of course.” Bruce told him.

After the second ride, they stepped off and back into the crowd. Bruce checked his watch, they still had some time to spare before they had to be at the art display. He glanced around and caught sight of some food stands.

“Have you had a funnel cake before?” He asked, elbowing Damian.

His son shook his head.

“Then we’re getting one.” Bruce declared, “They’re the perfect mix of fried dough and toppings. We’ve got enough time to enjoy one before getting back on track.”

Damian looked less excited by the prospect of fried dough, but agreed to try it. Soon, the two of them were seated at a picnic table with a funnel cake between them. It was topped with powdered sugar, chocolate, sprinkles, and even some whipped topping. Damian gaped at the concoction, but Bruce passed him a fork with confidence.

“You just have to go at it.” he explained, “Dig in and enjoy.”

His son snorted, “That sounds like something Richard would say.”

Bruce grinned at him, “It should, he told me the very same thing when he introduced me to funnel cakes.”

Together they managed to eat the entire funnel cake. As Bruce set his plastic fork down, he thought finishing it off might have been a mistake even if they weren’t in the middle of an undercover operation. His stomach felt heavy with grease, sugar, and bread.

“That was--a lot.” Damian said, finishing his bottle of water.

“Yes.” Bruce said, wiping at his fake moustache, “It was. But I think we’ll be fine. It’s about time to head over to the exhibit.”

He wanted to get there early enough to see Damian’s piece. The kid had been very secretive of what he’d been working on for it. Taking the project as seriously as he would have as if it were for his own school fair. Bruce wanted to be able to enjoy it before they disrupted everything.

They were here to catch one of the students in the act of trying to blackmail a teacher. Damian had gotten news of it from his friend Collin, letting him know that strange things were going down. After some research, Damian had found some discrepancies in grades with a few of the students, and noted one teacher withdrawing large sums of money on a regular basis. Not enough to make a kid rich, but enough to placate a teen who’d watched too much television.

Damian had brought the case to Bruce, and together they’d worked out that this would be the next best place to find the kid and teacher interacting in a public location. From what Bruce could tell, the teacher hadn’t done anything against his students, instead he seemed to be in the middle of an affair with a seperate teacher. The plan was to bust the student, or at the very least record the exchange and get it in the hands of the administration.

The teacher in question? One of the art instructors.

They tossed their trash into a bin and Bruce let Damian lead him over to where the art exhibit was put up. It was tucked in one of the further corners of the fair, out of the way of chaos, but on a busy enough route that plenty of people were stopping by to look at the art.

“Which one is yours?” Bruce asked.

“Ah, it is this here.” Damian led him to a painting hanging up on a temporary pillar.

It was a painting of the garden outside Wayne manor. Done in bright beautiful colors it looked like you could step right into the painting. Portions of the paint were raised up to create texture and shadows, like the petals on flowers. In one portion, Bruce could see Alfred the cat sleeping in a patch of sun.

“It’s gorgeous.” Bruce said, “the detail is incredible.”

Damian was blushing, “It is nothing, a quick painting.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, I know you were working on this for hours.” Bruce told him, “Do you get to bring it home?”

“Yes.” Damian said, “I was not sure what to do with it.”

“We’ll hang it up, of course. There’s a spot in the library I think will work well. Some greenery in a very brown room.”

At this point, Damian’s ears had gone red, “If you are sure.”

Bruce nodded, “I am.”

They spent a little longer looking at Damian’s painting before they shifted to look at some of the other pieces on display. There were quite a few that were really good, and a number of interesting ones. Some looked as if they had been submitted just for a grade, but all in all it was enjoyable.

Bruce was busy looking over a self portrait when he felt a small sharp elbow jab him in the side. He looked up to see Damian staring at another young man. Probably about sixteen, who’d just walked into the display area.

“That him?” he asked.

Damian nodded, “Let us wait to see if he approaches Mr. Franklin.”

Bruce slipped his phone out of his pocket and played with it, as if he were taking general photos.

“Matches, why don’t you stand by your painting? I want to get a picture of you with it.” he said, affecting a delighted uncle voice, “I’m sure your dad would love to see it.”

They moved over to the painting, and Bruce aimed the phone as he walked. Mr. Franklin was situated just behind the pillar with Damian’s painting on it. He snapped a few pictures of Damian, directing the kid to smile and pose, before slipping the phone’s setting over to video. He shifted slightly so that Franklin was in frame and hit record.

After a moment, the other boy approached him. Bruce inched forward to make sure he could get sound, and glanced over at Damian. The kid was hurrying away, off to find a separate teacher to bring over and hopefully stumble on the blackmail scene.

The exhibit was a good place to meet as Franklin was in charge of it and there wasn’t any reason for other teachers to wander over unless they were just checking things out. Most were too busy for that, with their own booths and class exhibits to care for.

Thankfully, Bruce did catch the conversation clearly from where he was. He hoped that no one would notice he’d stopped recording his kid, and started just recording the area. If he had to, he’d just say it was b-roll for a home video or something.

It wasn’t very long before Damian came back, a teacher at his heels. Bruce shifted the camera subtly back towards Damian’s painting.

“And here is my Uncle Malone. He can vouch for my skills if my piece does not convince you.” Damian was saying.

The teacher opened her mouth to say something, and then suddenly the boy speaking to Mr. Franklin shouted, “This is not what we agreed on!”

“I’m sorry--” she said, “Matches, Mr. Malone I’ll be right back.”

With that, she split from them to intervene on the argument. Bruce stopped his recording, and sent the video to Oracle who was going to forward it to the school.

“Well, that should take care of that.” Bruce said, turning to Damian, “How about we enjoy the rest of the fair? We’ve still got tickets, and there’s some rides we haven’t tried yet.”

Damian nodded, “That sounds acceptable. This fair has been, quite fun. And I am enjoying spending time with you.”

Bruce grinned, and tugged Damian into a hug, “Me too.”

“We should do the carousel again.” Damian said, stepping away to take Bruce’s hand, “And after that there is something that apparently spins you at such a speed you are stuck to the wall.”

“Oh? Well, lead the way, we’ll go until I feel like I’ve had a full patrol.”

Damian grinned at that, and Bruce felt his heart soar. He was going to have to figure out other ways of getting them undercover to things like this. Or just take Damian out to fairs more often as father and son.

[doubledgesword-2]

ITS BEEN A WHILE!! I know. I’ve been very, very busy with work and projects and whatnot. So I wanted to vent a little. This lil tea is unrequested but very self indulgent. It’s not everyone’s Rose tea cup cuz I know y’all like the spicy type but this one goes for anyone who just needs to be comforted. The other teas are coming rest assure, I’m just slow. This one is short, enjoy!!

Your big project had been driving you up a wall and even though you always managed, tonight was the breaking point.

A really important deadline was coming right up and you had been preparing for months. Chrollo’s presence has been intermittent for the whole week. Coming in late at night to cuddle you while you sleep and leaving in the morning with encouragement notes posted all over the house. It wasn’t ideal but you understood he had things to do.

However you wished he would stay a while longer just to help you relax or give you advice. He was always good with his words.

As you scribbled away adjustments on the paper and click clackle a couple of notes on the keyboard, you didn’t noticed Chrollo coming in through the open balcony window. He was so silent. watching you sitting down on the floor with notebooks, sketchbooks, books and papers all spread around yet neatly placed. Your shoulders looked tense and usually by this time you’re already in bed for him to coddle. He loves watching your peaceful expression, the way your chest rises and falls and everything seems so calm in those moments. The memories bring a small smile and he can’t wait to relieve them tonight.

Chrollo knocks on the window and you jump looking behind you to see him smiling innocently. He looks boyish and it makes you smile. But you can’t do that now, you have to finish this thing in one and a half hour before the submission deadline.

“I love you but I have to hurry, hurry, hurry, right now. Come sit with me.” Chrollo lifted a brow coming to sit beside you.

“Do you want to help me?”

“Sure, tell me what to do”

You explained how to write the things while you would sketch the ideas down and then do the other stuff. Overall it was a nice bonding experience, that the two of you cherished. But an hour passed and you still had to make your presentation board, color more sketches and attached more notes.

You started sighing when there were 30 minutes left. Then your leg started swinging in anxiety as the minutes ticked away.

Chrollo noticed all the quirks, quiet telltales of your rising stress, but you still seemed to be managing it well and he was helping you, surely you could make it even if it wasn’t perfect.

That’s what he told you and for the most part you did just that. So when there were 5 minutes left you rushed to compile everything together, making sure it was readable.

3 minutes in and your computer started giving your problems. Everything was too slow. too sluggish.

“I’m gonna cry, come on, come on” you said jokingly, exasperated at the laptop. But Chrollo kept watching you and he knew better.

You didn’t made it and that was okay.

You even seemed to be in a lighter mood that is until everything was compiled and you realized it was a mess. Chrollo and you exchanged looks and you started laughing hard alongside with him. The two of you just laughing out the stress but when his eyes opened he realized you were sobbing and couldn’t really stop doing both things at once.

Chrollo tilted his head and chuckled with you, feeling a bit out of place with the situation. He grabbed your arms pulling you into him even though you’d till couldn’t stop laughing and sobbing. He held you close tucking your head under his chin, feeling your chest racking and the tears making a wet spot on his coat.

“It’s alright, love, maybe it was fate. Maybe there’s something better. That’s not the only way to get an interview, besides your work is halfway done now all you have to do is work out the kinks. I’ll help you” he kisses the top of your head as your fit subsides.

Chrollo hugs you close, rocking you a little bit, drawing circles on your back and petting your hair while you let everything out.

You felt high but now you’re just tired. After laughing and crying everything out at the same time it was understandable, so when your body went limp in his arms he smiled gently at you. Chrollo picked you up bridal style making sure your tucked in close to his heart.

“Come on, let’s take a shower, we can clean in the morning”

“Im sorry...thanks for helping me”

“It’s alright dear. There’s nothing to be sorry about”

Even though I’m slow requests are still open! Please refer to the pinned post at the beginning of my blog :)

[queenxxxsupreme]

I've got an idea for a fluffy prompt! The reader is an artist and loves to make sketches of everyone at Kaer Morhen. At some point during the winter, Lambert gets jealous because he notices everyone else has been gifted a sketch except him. As it turns out, he has been the reader's main subject the entire time, but they decided to keep quiet about it since they have a huge crush on him and weren't quite ready to be vulnerable. It's okay if don't end up writing it. I just wanted to contribute :)

A/N: Oh babe this is so soft and sweet!!!

***

You moved through the keep, your sketchbook tucked carefully underneath your arm. In your hand, you held a piece of parchment. 

You spotted Eskel and Lambert sitting at the table closest to the fire. There were a few different books open on the table. From the quick glance you had of the words on the parchment, you could tell they were bestiaries.

“Hi, Eskel!” You chirped. 

Both witchers lifted their heads to look at you. Your eyes very briefly met with Lambert’s. But you quickly looked away. 

“Good evening, Y/N.” Eskel said. 

“I just finished a little something up.” You handed him the parchment, then moved your sketchbook around so you held it to your chest. 

The drawing on the parchment was of Lil Bleater in a field of wildflowers. A smile came to Eskel’s face. 

“This is amazing, Y/N. Thank-,”

Lambert stood up suddenly, his chair screeching against the floor. You jumped, your grip on the book tightening. You watched the young witcher storm out of the room without so much as a goodbye or even a glance in your direction.

Eskel sighed, setting the parchment down on the table beside him. 

“Did…. Did I do something, Eskel?” You asked, turning your head to look at the door Lambert had disappeared through.

The witcher didn’t answer you immediately.

“Lambert is a complicated man, Y/N.”

That didn’t really offer you an answer. 

You nodded and excused yourself, wanting to go off in search of him. You couldn’t help but feel that maybe you did something wrong. He didn’t storm off until after you entered the room. 

Your stomach churned at the thought of having done something to piss him off. 

***

You spent hours searching for him, but it proved useless. He knew all the best hideaways in the keep. If he didn’t want to be found, there would be no finding him. 

As you passed the library, you spotted Vesemir fixing a bookshelf. 

“Hello, Vesemir.” You stepped into the room. 

“Greetings, Y/N.” He didn’t look away from his project. You stood there for a few moments, looking around the room. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“I’m…. I’m looking for Lambert. Have you seen him?”

“Passed through not too long ago. Said he was going to go to the lake.”

“Thank you, Vesemir.”

***

You gently pulled on the reins to your horse, bringing her to a stop just before the trail opened up at the little hut on the lake. You listened, eyes carefully looking around to make sure there were no signs of danger. When you were positive there were no threats, you slipped down from your horse. 

Lambert’s horse, Champion, was tied to a hitching post just outside of the little hut. You spotted the witcher on the dock. 

You were sure he had heard you. He had to have heard you. You weren’t that quiet as you walked, and he was a witcher. 

It appeared as though he was sharpening something, maybe a dagger of some sort. You tied your horse to the hitching post and moved towards Lambert.

“Lambert?” You said his name, stopping where the dock met the bank. 

“What?” He didn’t look at you or make any attempts to look in your direction. 

“I-I…. Did I do something to upset you?” You asked, messing nervously with your fingers. “To make you leave so suddenly?”

“No.” His answer was short and blunt.

“Then why won’t you look at me?”

He was silent. 

“Lambert, please.” You begged quietly, your voice no longer working properly. “If I did something, I-I need to know so I can make it right.”

“Why?” He put the dagger in his hand down and finally brought his eyes to you. He was upset, angry even. His golden eyes were full of so many emotions. “Why do you care about making it right?”

“Because I-I care about you.” You whispered.

“Bullshit.” He stood up, shaking his head as he moved down the dock. He tucked the dagger into its sheath and put the whetstone into his pocket.

You stepped out of his way, watching him go to Champion and begin to untie him. 

“Don’t tell me fucking bullshit lies like that, Y/N.”

“It’s not a lie, Lambert.” You shook your head, your vision blurring because of tears. You didn’t like that he was angry, that he was angry with you. “I do-I do care about you. What have I done to make you so furious with me?”

Lambert whirled around to face you, taking a step in your direction. 

“You fucking go around handing everyone else all those dumbass sketches you make! You’ve given Eskel a dozen and-and even fucking Jaskier gets them! But you haven’t given me one!”

You gazed up at him, wiping the tears from your cheeks. 

“I don’t care anymore.” He lowered his voice, shaking his head. “Don’t fucking care. They’re stupid and fucking useless.”

“Lambert, I-I have to show-to show you something.” You reached out to stop him from turning away, your hand finding his arm. “Why I haven’t given you any.”

He locked his jaw, moving his arm out of your grasp. 

You sniffled and wiped your cheeks. 

“Why?” He muttered.

“Because I need…. I need you to know that I care about you. I-I really do.” You wiped your cheeks again, your gaze dropping to the ground. 

He said nothing for a while, but you could feel his eyes on you. 

“Fine.”

***

The both of you were silent as you led him back up to the keep and then to your room. 

You pushed the door to your room open and moved to pull back the curtain, allowing sunlight to flow into the room. 

“Those little sketches I give to Eskel and Jaskier and everyone else, they’re what I work on when I need a break from this.” You moved across the room to an easel that was covered with a cloth. You pulled the cloth back to reveal a painting. It was only half way finished, but Lambert already knew what it was. It was a portrait of him, but only the right half of his face was done. 

Lambert’s lips parted as he stepped towards the painting. You could see the way the anger left his eyes. It was replaced with something softer, something more passive and tender. 

He reached out as if to brush his fingers over the canvas, but at the last minute he decided against it.

You stayed in place, unable to bring yourself to move. You chewed on the inside of your cheek. What if he thought it was weird that you were making such a big piece of art for him? What if he didn’t feel the same way as you?

“How, uh, how long have you been working on this?” He asked, unable to tear his eyes away to look at you.

“Since the leaves began to change.” You explained. “One of my last trips to the village, I purchased these items. I wanted something to keep me busy throughout the winter.”

Silence fell between you two. He still seemed to be fascinated with the art, eyes gliding over each and every little detail from the scar on his right eye to a scar on his neck just a few inches below his jaw. 

“I-I know it’s just a stupid little painting.” You shook your head, clenching your fists tightly together. “But-,”

“It’s not stupid.” He shook his head, then cleared his throat before looking at you. “It’s…. It’s really good.”

A smile tugged at the corners of your lips. 

“You think so?”

“Yeah. It’s…. It looks amazing.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I feel like such a fucking jerk now.”

“No, no. It’s okay.” You shook your head, smiling shyly. “I understand why you were upset. I just…. I’m sorry I made you feel that way, feel left out and not included.”

He said nothing, turning his head to look back at the painting. 

“Why didn’t you tell me about this?” Lambert asked softly. He couldn’t look at you. He couldn’t bring himself to look into your eyes and see you look at him with such a soft gaze.

You moved away from him towards the window.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t feel the same…. That you’d be creeped out by it.” Your eyes flickered over the snow covered mountains.

“I didn’t think you’d…. That someone like you would be interested in someone like me.” He admitted. 

You turned your head to look at him, brows drawing together. 

“Someone like you?”

He sighed heavily, looking around the room for something to look at other than you. He spotted your dagger resting on your desk. He moved to it, inspecting the blade to make sure it was sharp enough to properly protect you should it be needed. 

“A witcher. Emotionless beast!” He waved his hands in the air a little dramatically. “Professional killer and all that shit.”

You tilted your head to the side, a solemn look crossing your face. 

“Lambert, you aren’t emotionless, nor are you a beast.”

“Well that’s what the rest of the world seems to think.” Lambert placed the dagger back on the desk. 

“Not me. To me, you’re thoughtful and brilliant. You love jokes and making people laugh. A proper jester.”

A little grin came to his lips. His eyes flickered up to meet yours. 

“You think I’d be good at professionally making a fool out of myself?”

You giggled. 

“That isn’t what I meant.”

“Lambert!” Vesemir called, his voice echoing through the tower. 

“Fuck.” Lambert muttered, moving towards the door. 

You watched him go, a little sad that nothing much had come out of your conversation. 

But then at the last minute, Lambert turned and crossed the room to you. He put one hand on your arm and leaned down to kiss your cheek. 

Immediately, you flushed red, shyly looking away as he smiled at you. 

“We’re going to have to talk later.”

Taglist: @pressedinthepages @mishafaye @whitewolfandthefox @wolfyland07 @belalugosisdead @persephonehemingway @keira-hulmaster @dinonuggs69 @greatestauthorofmygeneration @shadow-hunters-lover @dancingwith-thesunflowers @tedi-fach-las @thecomfortofoldstorries @raspberrydreamclouds @natkowaa @disasteren @weathervanes-my-oneandlonely @onlyhenrys @wackylurker @criminaly-supernatural @magpie343 @permanently-exhausted-witcher @hina-chans-stuff @the-space-between-heartbeats @havenoffandoms @carriebee1 @ger-bearofrivia @naominami @writingawaymylife @reaganjenelle @theawkwardpedestrian @scarlettwitcher @badassspaceprincess @just-a-sad-donut @summersong69 @an–actual–human–disaster @rubyqueen819 @omgkatinka @c-a-v-a-l-r-y @vonxcon @mazakeen @bravelittlesunflower @thereagles @awkward-turtles-world @menalliha @cotton_mo @maan24

[nekoabiwrites]

Battle Bonds

Ahhh! It feels so good to be back and writing again! Panto was great fun and I’m kinda missing it but also, I’m so happy to not have to watch the same show 60 times anymore...

Anyway, this fic was inspired by a freaking adorable piece of art by @artistictaurean with Roman and a lil cute Swablu: https://artistictaurean.tumblr.com/post/190329454010/holy-crap-i-actually-finished-something-just-a  Mega thanks to them for not only being super talented at making such darn cute art, but also for being chill with me writing this (even tho I was on anon asking but mehhhhhh details)

AU: None Pairing: None Words: 2644 Warnings: Remus and Deceit are in here. Anything else, please let me know!

Summary: Thomas has been on a bit of a pokemon kick recently and it has affected his imagination more than he would ever think of...

---

Due to the recent release and information about new titles in the Pokemon franchise, Thomas had been thinking about and playing a lot of the series – much to Logan’s dismay. It had just been something he was doing, not once did Thomas even give a thought to how his gaming habit would affect his sides.

Roman lightly chewed on the end of his pencil as he tried to work out the perspective of the next detail to his sketch. It was rare to have all of the sides in the imagination with him after all, even more so that it was for social reasons rather than important ones. He dropped his head and added detail to the figure of Logan in his artwork, doing everything to capture the bewildered expression that was currently resting on the logical side’s features and the open book in his hands.

The prince couldn’t fault Logan for this, as he could hear the excited squeals of Patton off to his left as he discovered yet another new species that he didn’t realise existed.

“IT’S A PUPPY!” The paternal side yelled, holding Rockruff high above his head in order to show it off to the others. An amused snort and swishing of grass told Roman that Virgil was heading towards Patton to get a closer look at the small animal.

Time passed leisurely as the cycle of Patton finding new species, calling out that he found a new one and then being told which pokemon it was continued to repeat itself, all while Roman continued sketching. Eventually, Patton and Virgil settled down in view of Roman, allowing him to finally add them to his piece. Then there was an odd breeze that ruffled his hair and a weight was added to the top of his head.

Roman dropped his sketchpad and held his arms up, yelping loudly in surprise. He knew deep down it was fruitless to try, but his instinct was to attempt to look up and see what was perched upon his head.

Another Patton squeal had Roman freezing in place. The moral side jogged on up to Roman and coo’d at the creature on his head, “It’s so fluffy and – Oh! – It’s just like a cloud, and its so soft! Virgil, Logan! What’s this one?!”

“If memory serves, it is a swablu, Patton.” Logan approached, flipping the pages. It took seconds for him to find what he was looking for and he began to read aloud, “It is a primary normal type with a secondary flying type that was introduced in the third generation. Its category is the cotton bird pokemon. According to several entries in the pokedex of various games, swablus are very concerned with cleanliness and enjoy perching upon the heads of people.”

“I thought you didn’t care about this stuff?” Virgil asked slyly, gently brushing a finger along the tops of the swablu’s fluffy wings.

Logan flushed slightly and cleared his throat, “I do not recall saying that I didn’t care about it. I was simply attempting to get Thomas to understand that playing such a game for long periods of time is unproductive and-”

“I was just messing with ya, Logan. It’s okay.” Virgil snorted and rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

Roman was remaining fairly motionless as the others fawned over the pokemon perched upon his head. After getting confirmation on what pokemon it was, he’d regained his composure, sure that there was little to no threat. The prince reached up to pet the extremely friendly pokemon, feeling the cloud-like wings for the first time while also bringing the attention back down to himself with an exaggerated clearing of his throat. “Not that I mind being surrounded by attention, but my art was almost completed and now you have all moved from your positions. I place the blame upon you all if this turns out absolutely horrendous.” He gestured to the forgotten sketchbook resting in the grass.

Shortly after Roman had begun yet another round of bantering back and forth with Virgil and Logan, Patton saw a new pokemon that excited him, and he ran off. Virgil trailed behind, watching with amusement. Logan eventually moved in the same direction once Patton called for him yet again. Roman was now alone with the creature atop his head.

He summoned a floating mirror before himself and saw the blue bird for the first time. It looked to be starting to dose off, clearly comfortable in its position. The royal reached up again and gently stroked the bird, who seemed pleased with the gentle attention as it chirped in response. “How do you like the name Alto?” Roman asked rhetorically. The swablu perked up and flew in a small circle, just above Roman’s head, before seating itself again and almost nuzzling into the creative side’s hair. “I’ll have to take that as a yes.”

It wasn’t long until the hype died down and Thomas went back to his usual level of enjoyment of the series. This meant that if the sides wanted to keep all the random pokemon, Roman would have had to start working extremely hard to keep them all around. Thankfully, Patton wasn’t going to push his fellow side like that, and they all compromised on only keeping certain pokemon that they’d all become attached to – mostly due to the fact that their attachments would take some of the strain off of the creative side.

Out in the dirt courtyard of the castle located near the entrance to the imagination, Roman had placed a battling area for the pokemon, giving all of them a place to battle in a regulated, enclosed space.

“Servine is unable to battle.” Patton called out, “All three of Deceit’s pokemon have fainted! Roman wins! Yay Roman!” The moral side applauded, causing the Lillipup currently resting in his lap to yap alongside.

Roman laughed heartily, “Of course I won. What were you thinking, putting your grass type out against my superior flying type?” Alto soared over to rest upon Roman’s head, allowing her trainer to give her well earned scritches.

Deceit rolled his eyes, “It was because I have no knowledge of typing and most definitely had nothing to do with the fact I only had one pokemon left and therefore had no other options.” As he spoke, he returned the pokemon to its pokeball

“Now Deceit, be nice…” Patton chastised.

“Apologies.” Deceit sarcastically responded before stalking off to who knew where.

Patton went to say something to Roman, but was cut off by the creative side, “It’s quite alright, Patton. Not even the attitude from a slippery snake can dampen my mood!”

“Well, good! Let’s heal everyone up before the final match!” Patton hopped up from his cross-legged position on the ground and took Roman off to the side. Instead of battling on his own, Patton had taken the role of judge and healer. He found it was far more rewarding to help the fainted and injured pokemon than be the reason why they were hurt in the first place. Due to the fairly decisive victory, Roman’s pokemon took very little time to heal.

“There you go! All better now!” Patton handed the pokeballs back over to Roman, who replaced them back into their places on his belt. The moral side then looked around and bit his lip a little in worry, “I’m sorry, kiddo… but I need to go and find out where Dee went. Are you alright to wait just a little longer?”

“Of course he is!” came a third excited voice, who made both sides jump with his sudden presence and arms over their shoulders.

Roman’s smile fell and he sighed heavily, “I hate to admit this… but, for once, my brother is right… It’s more than fine for you to attend to business, Patton.”

“If you require a moderator, I am free to fulfil that role in Patton’s absence.” Logan cut in.

“Ooo! Yes! Let’s murder both of these birds with the stone!” Remus gleefully clapped his hands and hopped in place, whilst the other sides simply agreed to Logan’s proposition.

The two sides of creativity took a spot at each end of the field, staring each other down; Roman with a hardened glare that aimed to strike fear in his brother, Remus with his signature unhinged grin and twitching fingers hovering just over the balls resting against his side.

“The usual format and rules apply. Three pokemon per user, first to have all three faint is the loser. Are we agreed on this?” Logan called out. Both of the participants nodded. “Let the battle commence!”

Roman tossed out his first ball, summoning his precious swablu onto the field. Both looked as determined as the other. Remus, on the opposite side, released his first pokemon and everyone in attendance immediately grimaced.

“What in the heck is that thing?!” Roman yelled.

“It’s an Arctozolt! Isn’t he just a precious little monster?” Remus coo’d, making kissy faces at the abomination before him.

Logan’s eyes darted between the two for a moment, clearly having knowledge that Roman did not. The prince was going to ask what had the logical side looking as though he was nervous for him but decided against it. Instead, he steeled his resolve.

“Alto, Cotton Guard!”

Using her wings, Alto managed to surround her entire body in layers of almost invisible cotton, using it almost as a shield against anything that would attack her. She then seemed to brace herself, watching the pokemon before her carefully.

“Thundershock!”

Time seemed to stop for a second as Roman heard the command. He hadn’t even considered the fact that Arctozolt had the type advantage, especially since he’d never seen it before. Now that he was helpless to do much other than stare, Roman managed to notice the thunderbolt-like growths on the pokemon’s top half and that it was shivering, which may indicate that it was also partially ice type. His thoughts were cut short as Alto screeched in pain as the electric attack hit her square on.

“Alto!” Roman cried out. He watched as the swablu dropped in the air slightly but managed to catch herself before hitting the floor. He let out a soft sigh of relief, “Shake it off and use Round!”

Alto did just that, physically shaking her body to clear herself of the shock before soaring in circles for a few seconds, ending up heading directly for Arctozolt, hitting it square in the chest. The odd pokemon recoiled slightly after the hit, but still seemed to be feeling alright. The same could not be said for Roman as he saw the smile on his brother’s face grow even larger.

“Arctie, use Avalanche!”

Once again, Roman cursed himself internally. “Alto, avoid as much as you can!” He called out, trying his best to get his beloved swablu to not take as much damage as humanly possible.

It was effective somewhat as Alto did avoid several hits, but it always put her in the path of another part of the attack. Overall, it was a severe hit and Alto’s energy seemed to be waning as she was taking far more effort in order to keep herself in the air. Thankfully, the cotton that surrounded her body did help in staving off some of the damage.

Racking his brain, Roman tried to think of the best way to win the battle that seemed almost completely impossible.

“What’s wrong, brother?” Remus jeered from the opposite side of the field, “Having problems?”

Roman glared harshly at Remus before issuing another command, “Alto, sing!”

Alto responded immediately. She swooped in to hang in the air just a short distance from Arctozolt and began to sing a soft melody, attempting to put the creature to sleep. However, before it could really take effect, Remus called out for Arctozolt to use another move.

“Use Echoed Voice!”

The abomination began to screech loudly, the sound causing most everyone in the surrounding area to cover their ears. Alto drifted backwards, clearly in pain from the hit to her senses, her song being cut short. She began to float downwards towards the ground, looking as though she were about to admit defeat. She turned slightly and was able to notice Roman staring at her, worry coursing through him. Her eyes started to shut as she fell closer and closer to the ground.

“Alto, no!”

Her body touched the ground for a brief second before erupting in a flash of light. Yet again, everyone in attendance flinched and avoided using one of their senses until the light died down.

Remus’ grin dropped completely off of his face as his mouth fell open once he’d caught sight of where Alto had once been.

In place of the small round fluffy-winged bird was a far larger version. Its neck extended upwards, causing her to look far more intimidating as she could look down upon him and its cloud like wings curled around its lower body, looking as though the wings were what made up the creature instead. Just behind, his brother was also as shocked.

“Uh Logan. Information please!”

“Alto evolved into her final stage, that being an Altaria. Her typing has now changed, becoming a primary dragon type with the same secondary flying type as its pre-evolved state.” Logan offered.

“That has to be cheating! That’s his second pokemon now, right?!” Remus pouted, stamping his foot like an angry child.

“Not at all. Evolution is a natural process of the pokemon species as a whole and it cannot be timed, at least in the case of the majority of evolutions. In terms of our ruleset, it is the amount of fainted pokemon that provide us with the final result. As Alto has only evolved and is, in fact, still very much present and aware, it still counts as Roman’s first pokemon.” Logan side-eyed the moustached side as he explained.

Roman was still a little surprised but was more than ready to fight back with his now larger cloud bird. Something in him just knew that Alto had learned something new, so he acted without much thought, “Alto! Dragon Breath!”

Alto reared back as she took in a large breath, physically puffing herself up in preparation. She stared straight ahead at the Arctozolt before letting the blue flames pour from her beak, engulfing the odd creature entirely. Remus also yelped and attempted to shield himself as the edges of the attack came close to reaching his position. The flames dissipated after a moment and Arctozolt seemed to be wobbling back and forth slightly before it fell over and was removed from the competition.

After two more quick battles, Roman was declared the victor of the small tournament and Remus went off to lick his wounds – everyone was sure that wasn’t just a turn of phrase when it came to the intrusive side. Patton returned shortly after the match and was more than a little enamoured with the giant cloud bird. Shortly after, the sides returned to their jobs and things went back to normal.

Later in the evening, Patton headed back into the imagination to call Roman for dinner, since he was nowhere to be found in the regular mindscape.

“Roman? Where are you? Dinner’s ready!” Patton called out into the distance as he wandered around the edge of the castle. He rounded a corner and had to clamp a hand over his mouth in order to muffle a happy squeal.

Alto was sleeping soundly, resting at the base of a tree on the edges of the forest. Curled up in her cloud-like wings was the figure of Roman. Evidently, he’d tired himself out and Alto had offered her soft wings as a base for him to nap. Patton quietly headed back, making a mental note to put Roman’s plate in the fridge for when he woke up.

---

My other stuff: http://nekoabi.tumblr.com/myworks Mobile Accessible Masterlist: http://nekoabi.tumblr.com/post/181954641376/fic-masterlist

General Tag List: @not-so-innocent-bi-sander @didsomeonesayprince @llamaly @justanotherpurplebutterfly  @iaminmultiplefandoms @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @lowkeyvirgilobsessed @louisthewarlock @fangsandrainbows @xxladystarlightxx @sleepyssnail @ao-koshka @notalwaysthevillian @pumpkinminette @doces-e--tuga @coloursintheblur @safesandersides @hogwarts-my-love

[mountain-man-cumeth]

have you ever posted any tutorials or anything? i’m super curious to see your process and how you start bodies and poses

im not good with tutorials, and my process is a little too messy but for poses i can show you the stages i go thru and try to explain whats up?

so i had this idea, rite? i wanted to draw muri holding kara back, i tried to pick a pose im not used to drawing so i can maybe break down the stages more accurately. 

i googled something awfully vague, bcs i couldnt visualize the pose in my head and found this gem;

as you can see below, i only used the general idea of the image (the hand pushing back, torso leaning forward…);

adding some details, a little polish on the pose;

so at this point i made a new layer and sized down my brush a little to add smaller details. i moved some things around like muri’s head;

i repeated the prev step to add other stuff, now that it came to this, i decided that i was pleased with how kara turned out but i wanted a touch more emotion from muri

i cut kara out and deleted muriel to star anew. i messed around with different ways that someone could be held and decided to go with this (to get here i re-did the first stages on muriel, starting from an ugly stick figure);

still at this stage, its far from perfect but aside from slight changes on the angles of their hands, i am pleased with how it turned out.

normally it doesnt take me 4 layers of sketching to get to a rough pose, it take 2 or 3 tops, but i find high energy poses harder and it takes longer for me to get them right. as you get used to certain types of poses (i.e. fighting, kissing, sex-ing) it will be easier to draft.

i think the feeling you get across usually relies on expression… and hands! they can change a pose from intimate to passionate, i can easily turn the pose above into something tumblr wouldnt allow just by changing their faces and hands, i can make kara grab onto muriel instead of pushing away, add a lil blush… and ya kno how that goes 😄

a more subtle example could be this;

the pose is practically the same except the faces and hands but i think each have a different feel, idk maybe its just me

[thing-you-do-with-that-thing]

Summertime

Characters: Y/N (reader), Jensen Ackles, fleeting OCs,

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: mention of bullying, implied smut (very very light)     

Word Count: 2200ish

A/N: This is 1 out of my 13 entries for @mamapeterson / @mrs-squirrel-chester’s Album Fanfiction Challenge where I chose the album “Smoke and Mirrors” by Imagine Dragons. The song prompt for this fic is: Summer

I could share some thoughts with you I had pre writing this fic, but I’d rather let you read it and form your own opinions and maybe share my thought process later if any of you should be interested.

Betaed by my sassy sweet lil sis @mysupernaturalfics 

 ***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

You had been tossing and turning all night long. Usually this day of the year was spent crying your eyes out, knowing that you would hardly see him again until next summer, but this year you had spend it thinking about the life you had and the life you could have.

Jensen Ackles had been your friend and protector all through life. In middle school you were the girl that liked to sit and draw rather than go play sports with your classmates. In high school you prefered to sit alone in the cafeteria in listening to music, sketching in your notebook, while he was the boy that was always surrounded by a huge group of people. He was a popular kid, but not mean because of it.

Actually, you were sure he was the sole reason why you got through your school years without ever really being bullied. Having him wink at you as he passed your table, where you always sat drawing and listening to music, keeping away from the noise that was high school. He stopped and talked to you by your lockers or teamed up with you in the classes you were in together whenever the teacher demanded you to do group work. You weren’t sure if he knew what he was doing, keeping you safe by interacting with you, or if it was simply just who he was.  

It had started the first day of preschool, when you had been crying and wanted to go home. Looking back you realized you hadn’t felt safe in school. All you wanted was for your mom to come back and pick you up. Jensen had sat down next to you and started talking, showing you his toys and you had slowly stopped crying; sniffling as you listened to the boy next to you.

As kids the two of you did everything together even as teenagers. When he played baseball after school, you hung around sitting next to the field, drawing and designing clothes and watching him. As you grew up, you stopped following him everywhere. You were different people and you didn’t want to impose on him. He had his own friends now and you preferred being alone anyway.

Still he had always been there. There hadn’t been a day where you hadn’t exchanged at least a few words and there surely hadn’t been a day where you hadn’t seen him. All of that changed with the end of high school. Jensen left Dallas for LA to pursue his acting career and you got accepted into Savannah College of Arts and Design, putting you on complete opposite sides of the country.

You hadn't realized how dependent you had become of him until the day he left. You had been so destroyed you hadn’t even been able to convince yourself to go to his house for the goodbye party his parents had held for him. Of course Jensen had know you weren’t mad or trying to be rude. He had snuck away from his party and climbed to your bedroom window and knocked like a million times before. You had let him in and Jensen had laid on your bed with you for hours that day, talking about your future. You had promised each other to always return home during the summer and always stay friends.

Jensen had always kept that promise. He had called you a once a week ever since. It helped you more than you thought he ever realized. College was good. You found friends with similar interests and you loved your classes, but you struggled with the change. You liked things to stay the way that they were and college had been a big disruption to your normal routines. Hearing Jensen’s voice every weekend, made your feel at ease. You could always be yourself around him and you knew he would never judge you for anything you said. He knew all of your secrets just like you knew all of his. He was your safety and your best friend.

College ended and you got a job in New York and Jensen now spend the majority of his time in Vancouver for different tv shows, but he never broke his promise. He called you each weekend and every summer you both found a few weeks to return home. It was during these weeks your feeling started to change. He was no longer just your best friend, you had fallen in love with him and having him leave or you leave him were getting harder and harder each passing year.

Finally you quit your job and returned to Texas. You bought your own studio and started designing for your own clothing line. Being in charge was stressful, but it made you feel more at ease. You could be yourself now and not worry what your bosses thought about you.

When you had told Jensen about your plans he had been over the moon. He had told you to go for it and that he knew you would be successful in no time. He was just about the only one who had supported you in your dream of owning your own clothing line. Most people you knew questioned your ability to deal with so many different people a business like this would acquire, but Jensen had supported you from the second you mentioned it to him. His faith in you meant more to you than all of the people doubting you combined. You were still nervous about taking the leap, of course, but his excitement had been so contagious you were able to shove the nerves aside and enjoy the ride. As long as you had him to lean on, you knew you could do this.

As you were lying on your bed tonight, you smiled thinking about his words had given you the final push. After having talked to him you had resigned the next day and a few weeks later you had found yourself in Austin with Jensen by your side, looking at different office buildings and showrooms.

That had been the summer you had turned 26 and it had been the same year Jensen had been offered his first leading role on a TV show. Neither of those things were what you remembered mostly about that summer though. It had been the summer where everything had changed between the two of you. It had been the summer where he had kissed you for the first time.

“I can’t believe I own this place,” you stood in the middle of the room looking around you when you felt his arms sneak around your waist, pulling you back against him. You smiled and rested your head against his shoulder. Everytime he touched you it felt like coming home. He was the only person in the world that could calm you in mere seconds, just by hugging you tightly against his chest.

“You’re not freaking out, are you?” Jensen teased, resting his chin against your head and you couldn’t help but laugh. If you had made the decision on your own, made the buy on your own and if you had been alone right now as it all hit you, yes you would be freaking out. But now with him right here, believing in you like he always did you knew you were doing the right thing. This had always been your dream. You could do this, just like you could do anything else you set your mind to. Something you had finally started to believe in after Jensen had told you a million times in the past.  

“No. Not with my best friend here,” you answered spinning around in his arms, wrapping yours around his neck. “Thank you Jay. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“Yes you could, Y/N/N. You are. You are doing all of this. I am in Canada more often than not. You’re amazing. I wish you could see that,” Jensen spoke softly, tugging your hair behind your ear, slowly leaning in. Your heart almost stopped as you realized what he was doing, but you didn’t try and stop him. Instead you closed your eyes, enjoying how soft his lips felt against yours. How right it felt when he deepened the kiss. You melted into him completely and his grip around you tightened.

Your head was spinning and you smiled into the kiss, feeling him do the same. First kisses had always been nerve wracking for you in the past, but with Jensen it was different. It felt like the most natural thing in the world even if your heart was racing a million miles per hour. Your accelerated heartbeat wasn’t due to nerves, it was him. You had been in love with him for longer than you cared to admit and now he was in your arms, kissing you and holding you tightly against him. You couldn’t think of a single moment in your life when you had been happier.

You had never talked about the kiss. It has just been added to the things you did when you were together. You talked once a week on skype or the phone. Jensen flew to Austin every summer and sometimes on other breaks from filming. When he visited, you went out, you talked and laughed like always. He stayed at your house in your bed, you kissed and eventually you had sex.

It hadn’t been until this summer, 2 years after your first kiss, Jensen had pushed for something more. He had made it clear how he felt within the first couple weeks of his summer hiatus. He told you he loved you and that he wanted you and him to be more than just summer fling. He hadn’t pushed you or asked you for an answer right then and there, but you knew that your time was up. It was the morning of the day he was leaving, going back to Vancouver to film his series and he wanted you with him. Maybe not this instant but eventually. Uprooting your life was scary, but what scared you even more was to becoming a part of Jensen’s life. A life with press, red carpet events, and fans. It had scared you so much you hadn’t given him an answer all summer, but lying in your bed staring into the ceiling you realized that all of that wasn’t anywhere near as scary as a life without Jensen. You loved him more than anything. He had been your one true constant throughout your life and you weren’t prepared to let your own head get in the way of what the two of you could have together.  

“Hey beautiful,” his thick sleep heavy voice pulled you from the movie of your lives that had been playing in your head. You slowly turned to face him, smiling when your eyes met with his sleepy green ones.

“Yes,” you answered quietly and a confused, rather adorable expression instantly appeared on Jensen’s face.

“Sweetheart, I just woke up. You’ve got to give me a little more than that,” Jensen smiled at you, moved to rest his weight on his elbow gently stroking your hair away from your face.

“I want more too. I can design from anywhere. The showroom can still be here. Nicole and Claire can handle it,” you spoke softly and Jensen’s eyes opened wide, before a huge smile spread across his face.

“You’re sure? I know changes aren’t easy for you and my life is… well a bit chaotic at times. I don’t want you too…” Jensen started rambling, making you smile. You loved how nervous he was. Being nervous was usually your thing with him being the one to calm you.

You reached out to him, running your hand through his hair. “I don’t like changes no, but I’ll be fine. I’ll be with you. I can get through anything as long as I got you,” you spoke truthfully. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw the tears build in his eyes as he leaned down to press his lips against yours. In that moment you knew you had made the right choice. A stray tear rolled down your cheek blending with his. It wasn’t tears of sadness on either of your parts, it was tears of love and happiness. You had never felt more complete and loved that you did in that moment, lying in Jensen’s arms.   

You smiled into his kiss as you realized that you for the first time in your life was excited about the future and the changes to come. You could feel the excitement bubble in your chest, which was new. Usually changes meant chest pains and headaches but not this time. His kiss bore with it a promise of an uncertain future filled with people you didn’t know and millions of ways you needed to adjust at every turn. Still you knew you were going to be okay, better than okay. You were going to be with your best friend and the love of your life. You couldn’t picture a better life than that.

You were going to be with the boy that has always been there for you. You were going to be loved and cared for by the man you had fallen completely and heads over heels in love with. No matter what life could throw and you and Jensen, you would always have each other, and that would be enough.   

Jensen Tag Team

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[sasukes-trouser-snake]

If anyone has been reading my personal post. Alot has happened. Over the course of months, I stupidly was seeing my ex. But it was never my intention... In the beginning of January my birthday was coming up and I wanted an old friend back in my life. I reached out and got in contacted with my old friend Jasmine. I missed her so much and I wanted her back in my life. Seeing her again made me happy. Cause I loved her, I still her love her. Unfortunately, the person she choose to be with was my ex... Marcus. And back in highschool when we were kids.. alot happened. He kept bouncing between me and her. Until he decided to be with her but broke things off horribly with me in which I tried to kill myself. And I did try..cause I was baker acted and spent days at the hospital. Not fun at all. Thinking, I never really recovered all I did was hide my emotions, my pain deep within me. But my life choices after that wasn’t good at all either. I let myself in a spiral of hurt and pain because I believed I was the reason me and him never worked. I was made to believe that I wasn’t worth at all. That I deserved being used....

But that didn’t stop me from caring for Jasmine. She was my bestfriend after all. And even if I was hurt... at least they were happy.... But my feelings for him never left I just suppressed them and locked them away...  Years passed moving fowarded to 2020 I reached out to Jasmine. And everything was good. My mistake was rushing in and talking with Mark again. Only reason I began talking to him was because he was with Jasmine. So eventually he was going to pop back into my life. I did want to be his friend. I didn’t mind being his friend. He was always someone I liked talking to. I know when we were kids, things were a lil different. I was a bit childish around him. But we were adults now and I was no longer that annoying girl from back then. And again everything was good. 

Jasmine and I started hanging out alot and I was happy to have my friend back. Then.. maybe I wanna say around Feb. idk Mark started messaging me on snapchat. Of course that was sketch why would my friends husband be messaging on this app??? I should have mentioned it to Jasmine. But I didn’t and that was my second mistake. He began to mention how “ we can be ourselves here” “ Theres no judgment” blah blah blah. I kept my foot down alot. kept pushing him away cause first of all he was with Jas, they have family togther and I was with Will. But for a while my relationship with Will wasn’t doing so well. And that was my third mistake...opening up to him about all the issues I was having. He took that as game and boom...won me over. How pathetic am I??? Then I cried and I guess that was the signal to him of I finally have her now. Game on. 

After that we were constantly texting via Snap back and forth and my suppressed feelings started to come out more and more. We’d talked about our past. How in love we were back when we were kids. I opened up my heart to him. This is Marcus, the guy I always wanted to be with when I was young. My first everything so I stupidly held my heart out to him. But the guilt was consuming me cause of course Jas was with him so I was doing something I wasn't suppose to do.. He kept saying how they weren't together how they're just living together for the kids. And somehow that fuckin made sense in my head and not to question it.  STUPID, STUPID, STUPID of me. I never planned to see him at work at all. But he kept insisting until I went “Ok fine Ill go see you” The visits became frequent, to a point I needed to see him. 

He’d always reassure me whenever I was feeling down in the dumps. How much he loved me, how much he cared about me. How he wanted to be with me again, that even though it’ll be difficult we can pull thur. I believe all of that... but the only time I felt at peace was when I’d see him. cause after that I wasn’t okay. The guilt was eating me because I was the other woman... And Jas knew she just didn’t know who it was. Then I began cutting again. Began smoking all of this was killing me. Then knowing how much I dedicated to him...how much I was willing to sacrifice for him...he ghosted me. Threw me away like garbage. Because he was caught. Jasmine figure it out but he began to say how it was all me. I wasn’t gonna stay quiet...so I talked. Told Jasmine everything.

In the end Jas and I got hurt. We got used again just like in highschool. This all went down in early July. And it hurts because I love him, I love him and I hate him. All the things he said were lies...just words for him to get to me easily. I’ve been cutting more, been having meltdowns often. because I hurt. All I know is pain...It’s like I attract hurt. I attract misfortune in my life. I just wanted to be happy. But how stupid of me. You think I would have known better especially with his history. The times he cheated me...fuck I was stupid. It hurts so much because he comes in my mind alot. And I hate it. But I want to see him. It hurts so much that I want to kill myself. I just want the voices, the pain to go away. I say how I’d turn the other way if he decides to come back and apologize. But I’m scared, I’m scared...cause all of this just proved how much of a hold he has on me. I’m such a weak and pathetic excuse of a human being. I’m trying to stay alive at least for Jasmine...because I’m glad she stayed by my side after all of this. but...I don’t know how long I can maintain this... 

I thought I was strong..but I’m not. He got the better of me. He used me.... maybe that’s all I’m good for...being used for someones pleasure. I hate myself. I hate what I see. Death sounds so good...because I won’t have to worry anymore... I give you props  Mark. Being able to sleep with no problem, I struggle to sleep. Because when I sleep...you come in my dreams... then I’m up crying for hours, cutting, yelling. Sometimes I feel like I deserve this... I’m worthless, I’ve always been worthless. I’m a nobody, I’m only good for for sexual needs. That’s all I’m good for...I’m always going to be that sad girl... I wish I never met you Mark... I wish I never have fallen for you. If I could go back and tell my 13 or 14 year old self. DON’T, YOU’LL ALWAYS WILL BE IN PAIN. You’ll always will be sad... maybe my present wouldn’t suffer from depression, suicial tendencies... I wish you knew how much pain I’m in, how all this has left me so emotionally hurt, mentally hurt... 

I just want to disappear, make the pain go away.