#if i may ask where is the incest? because at this point you just seem to not even look at what i post of them and just hate for no reason?

[nothorses]

I noticed that you reposted something that is along the lines of proship

I agree with leaving media alone but I think its incredibly disgusting when people ship, for example siblings, because what it feels to me is that they have an incest fetish or something

I know just because someone writes about murder doesnt mean they support it, and I believe that. but usually when people write about murder it's in a negative context, obviously showing how it is so incomprehensible to outsiders about how someone could do that, or showing how we need to get these people help.

trying to apply this to, for example, incest, if someone ships an incestuous relationship then it seems like it would be in a good context, and it seems like they support it should it be in real life. that's how I view this all. (itd be different if they shipped siblings as a strange headcanon and talking about how it's bad... this reasoning I can understand the most to the point where I can let myself ignore it)

how am I supposed to learn to not care? especially when they are really outward about it?

okay.

I do not participate in shipping discourse because I do not participate in shipping. I'm not really In Fandom anymore like, generally. I don't... care.

Because of this I had literally no idea what you were referring to in this ask. I had to scroll. So far back. To get to this post, which also doesn't refer to shipping discourse.

I also have not talked about incest here, and the post in question doesn't talk about incest.

It's about murder. And gore. Which you say here is fine.

Literally why did you send me this ask.

And like... there's a fair chance this is just bait, and there's also enough of a chance that you're genuinely asking that, like, fuck it. I'm gonna get shit no matter what I do, so I may as well try to do a little good.

You use the words "feels" and "seems" a lot in this ask. And I'm really glad you did, actually, because I think it's honest; you're operating on your feelings and assumptions, and that's really important to keep in mind.

And your feelings on this are valid! It's normal to be uncomfortable with certain content, and it's normal to not want to see or engage in it. You don't need to feel any differently about those things. You don't have to consume incestuous content, you don't have to be okay with it, and you don't have to be around it.

But ask yourself: you assume that other people engaging in this content means they support it in real life, but what if they don't? What if you're wrong?

Maybe they're saying it's wrong in a way you're just not picking up on, or that you don't recognize. Maybe they aren't saying it's wrong; maybe it's in the context. Maybe it's in a genre trope in a genre you're not familiar with. Maybe it's irony or satire that you aren't picking up on. Maybe they aren't saying it at all, but that's still what they think, and they just chose not to put it in that content for... who knows what reason. Maybe they're literally just bad at writing.

What then?

Sometimes you're going to feel or assume that something is going on, and you're just gonna be wrong. And you could ask who's fault that is- did you fail to pick up on something you should have been able to, or did they fail to communicate it well enough?- but like, what are you going to do with that information?

Sometimes people are not very good at literary analysis, and sometimes people are not very good at writing, and that's just part of learning. Do we tell everyone not to attempt to talk about certain topics unless they're "good enough" to do it "right"? How do we know when someone's "good enough", and how do they get to that point without practice? Do we just ban those topics altogether? What topics do we ban- where's the line? How do we enforce it? How do we prevent that from being weaponized against marginalized people?

Anon, you asked me how you can "not care" about these things existing. And I think that's a valid question; you feel there is injustice, and you want to stop it. That can be a very noble impulse, and it can be harnessed for a lot of good.

But it can also be really, really toxic- not just to the people you hurt because you act on assumptions and impulses that are incorrect, but to yourself. You can't control everything. You can't control how other people feel, whether or how they engage in certain topics, or what they do or say. You just can't. And trying, or wanting to try, or thinking you should try- it's going to drive you nuts.

So here's how not to care:

Remind yourself that you might be wrong. Take a moment to think about all the things you don't know for certain, and the things you would need to know to be absolutely, 100% sure that you're right.

Consider how important this is to you. How close is this person to you? How important is this issue? What would it feel like to let this go- would it continue to impact you? Do you have other options? (removing yourself from the situation, blocking tags/posts/people, etc.)

Consider what you can do, and what you should do. Think about the tools at your disposal, the power you have in this situation, and how likely this person is to listen to you. Think about whether those tools are ethical. Again, what if you're wrong? Is there any reason you might regret your actions?

If you still feel like it's worth addressing, start by asking questions. Make sure you really know what's going on, and if (and when) the situation changes with new information, walk through this process again. Repeat back what you believe is happening until they confirm that you're right, decide again whether this is worth it, and then proceed.

Sometimes it's more effective to just vent to someone else, or to make a post about the issue generally without confronting that person- especially considering your assumptions might be wrong! Maybe it's worth it to talk about what you thought was happening, but you don't know that what you thought was happening is what was actually happening. You can still talk about it, just, y'know, without making it an attack on someone else.

And again, I don't give a shit about fandom discourse. This is important to me because these are themes that crop up in regular-ass media all the time, and disagreements that crop up in regular-ass relationships with friends and family and loved ones. I think it's important that people have the skills to navigate disagreements, unintentional harm, and perceived slights in healthy, productive ways.

You can't live your whole life demanding that everyone agree with you on everything, or blaming other people for everything you misinterpret or assume incorrectly. You cannot assume that everything that hurts you was designed to hurt you. You can recognize that these are assumptions and feelings, and that's great! And I hope you're being honest when you say that you want to learn to let things go.

[misguidedasgardian]

The Dragon's Mistress (2)

2. Servant

MASTERsLIST

Summary: You have a hard time adjusting to your new reality

Warnings: cursing, mentions of war, mentions of death, humiliation, use of the word bastard and traitor, choking, incest, might miss some warnings

+18, MINORS DNI

Wordcount:  3k

Notes: Ufff, Aemond is not going to be dark, more like soft dark… he will not be physically abusive, but he will treat her like a mean lord would treat his servant in ASOIF world or what i think it would….

Lucky for you -or not-, you had never occupied the chambers of the Prince of Dragonstone, the master bedroom, it didn’t felt right, those were your mother’s, and father’s as well, so the room was left clean and unused since your mother settled in the Red Keep in King’s Landing

The walk there was extremely long for your taste, since you felt your uncle walking behind you, but when you finally arrived at the double doors, you grabbed the doorknobs and opened them widely, so he could appreciate the room better, and then you stepped aside.

He walked in, inspecting everything, his hand clasped behind his back, he looked around and nodded approvingly

“This are not your chambers”, he said, and you nodded

“No, your grace”, you said gently, and he chuckled darkly

“The girl who said that was the princess of Dragonstone, does not occupy the chambers of the Prince of Dragonstone”, he said mockingly. You wanted to point out the room you had chosen for yourself had a much more nicer view to the Dragonmount than this one, and it had a beautiful balcony, but you didn’t dare to, the last thing you needed is for him to know where your slept, even if it was a few rooms down the hall

“The room is ready for you, your grace”, you pointed out, “it had its own bathroom, with a copper tub”, you pointed out, stepping inside the room and towards the right where there was another set of double doors

“A tub, uh?”, he purred as he walked by you, inspecting the room, “it pleases me”, he declared looking back at you, and you just nodded.

They were beautiful chambers, dragons carved in the stone, big windows from which you could see the sea, and part of the island, it was quite comfortable.

“I’m glad”, you said, he took two long steps and closed the doors behind you, leaving you trapped with him.

“Tell me something…”, he purred, “do you know what being a servant entails?”, he asked, you stood still in the middle of the room, your fingers intertwined in front of you, he walked around you, circling you

“Well, I…, I guess that make your bed, tend to your needs, bring you food”, you murmured, he chuckled darkly

“You will be my personal servant, you will tend and do whatever I ask of you, do you understand?”, I nod, “you only answer to me”

“I understand…”

“My prince”, he completed, “Or your grace”, he said that with a smirk, he raised his hand and played with a simple necklace you were wearing

“Yes, my prince”

“Good”, he purred, “you must always look pretty for me”, he said then, you guessed that he was laying out certain “rules” you were going to need to follow, “Since I will be looking at you for most part of the day, I must have to gaze at something pretty”, he said, his only pupil gazing at you dilated 

“Yes my prince”, you answered, your voice broken

“You will be dismissed at the end of the day by me and only when I tell you, is that understood?”

“Yes, your grace”, you answered, “may I ask something?”, he smirked but nodded, “May I ask… what will become of me?”, he seemed to be in a good mood, so you asked him because of this hint

“You are to be my servant”, he said simply

“But in the future…”, you asked then. He stood in front of you, looking down at you, for a second you feared he would strike you or something, but he didn’t move a muscle, his sole presence was enough, his piercing eye seemed to be looking right into your soul

“Your future will be what I want it to be”, he said quietly, but his words were being written in your heart with fire, “your future lies in my very hands”, he said then, “so you better serve me well”, that was with a tone of mockery, “you don’t have friends here, I’ll see to it, for you there is only me now”

“I understand”, you muttered, looking down, you had spend the last two years in such a slumber of depression you really didn’t dedicate yourself into making loyal servants, guards and lords, they tolerated you, but again, their love for you was not greater than the fear of another war and death itself.

“You thought you owned Dragonstone”, he said, mocking you, “look at you now”, he smirked, darkly, “a mere servant”, you remembered the times when a comment like that you have made you burn with the need for vengeance and an apology, but nothing of that fire remained, you had been silly little princess that believed the tales of greatness your mother told you.

But now that silly little princess was as dead as your mother, war had killed her too

“No friends, no family, all your family is gone”, he whispered, “how do you feel about that, hm?”, if you had tears left who would be crying, but you didn’t, you whimpered

“Sometimes I wonder why the Stranger didn’t take me as well”, you confessed, your voice plain

“My poor little servant, don’t be sad, I’m here now, your dear uncle, I am the only thing you have left after all”, he whispered, and you looked into his eyes, the worst part was? He actually sounded sincere 

He was amused when he didn’t see sadness but seriousness, and he found himself wanting to see the tears in your eyes, he wanted to, he wanted to provoke them, coax them into wetting your cheeks, he wanted to hears your whimpers of despair, and he also wanted to be the one to soothe your sorrows.

You would never know the things you provoked in him.

You never knew how much he desired you, how much he wanted to be your everything, your pain and your balm, the provocation and the warm feeling of comfort. He wanted you to hate him, so it will be easy for you to love him afterwards. He wanted to be your everything 

Luckily -or not- you were interrupted by a knock on the door

“My Lord, your trunks had been brought up from the ship!”, announced a guard through the door

“Let them in”, just second after the double doors opened and the room was soon swarmed with servants carrying what looked like four heavy trunks, with you guessed Aemond’s belongings, and that confirmed to you something dreadful, he was here to stay.

You guessed that with Aegon sitting the throne, Aemond was there just… bothering, his elder brother, and if he was not going to sit in the small council then… he needed to do his own thing, and what better thing to do, than to take the most important seat for the targaryen Dynasty? the home of the heir to the Iron Throne

“Can we help you set in, my lord?”, asked one of the servants shakily

“Don’t you worry, I have my own servant to help me with that”, he laughed, “you are all dismissed”, in a second the room was empty again, but for only him and you. His one eye returned to your face, and as your eyes met, you lowered your gaze to the round in front of him, your hands grabbing each other nervously in your back

“Where were we?”, he purred, too close to your ear to your liking 

“I should put your things in order, my prince”, you wavered 

“You will have plenty of time for that later”, he whispered to your ear, “right now I want something else from you”, you froe in your place, blaming yourself again for thinking that being his servant would be an easy task

“What, my prince?”, you asked. He hummed, looking right at you, stopping in front of you

“I want you to kneel”, he said simply, you frowned, but then you remembered there were depraved things men could do, but at the same time, you didn’t want to anger him, you nodded, and slowly got on your knees in front of him.

“It was too easy”, he started, again pacing around you, “to bend your will”

“My prince”, you began, but he shushed you, so you kept quiet

“Was it a ruse?”, he asked then, “were you trying to trick me? to kill me in the middle of the night… or rather flee in your dragon’s back?”

“No my prince”, you whined

“Or you were truly so eager to serve me?”, he looked at your trembling form on the ground and he found himself liking the view, he wanted to break you, just to built you back up

“No… but…”

“You have no dignity”, he mocked, “serving the man that killed your baby brother, your grandmother, or rather, the woman your whore of a mother told you it was your grandmother…”

“Stop please”, you whined

“And your true father”, he continued, “we all know your mother spread her legs for any man that…”

“Please stop!”, you cried, feeling the tingling in your nose that let you know you were about to cry

“Daemon Targaryen, Harwin Strong… maybe all of the white cloaks”

“That is not true!”, you whined

“You are my servant, you don’t talk back to me!”, he mocked, he didn’t even touched you, but his words hurt more if he had struck you in the face, you grabbed your thighs tightly, your hands made fists, “you are but a bastard, that believed she was a princess”

“My parents were married!”, you answered

“You don’t talk back to me, are you slow minded? or do you need a punishment?”, you whined in fear but you kept quiet, “good servant”, he praised, you didn’t even know what he meant by punishment, and you didn’t want to find out, you had seen servants being beaten, some even had lost a hand for their transgressions, none under yours or your mother’s command but that was unimportant

“I’m sorry my prince”, you answered when he kept quiet waiting for your answer

“You are a fast learner, I will have to give you that”, he mocked, “you better be, now you are just a servant, my servant, my bastard servant”, you didn’t say anything but looked down, “what are your intentions?”, he asked then

“I’m sorry, your grace?”, you asked

“Why are you so willing to serve me? why didn't you flee, why didn’t you accept death instead?”, he pressed on

“I don’t know”, you whined

“Oh but you must”, he said, “why?”

“I really don’t know”

“Are you a coward?”, he tried, “to face death?”

“Yes”, you confessed

“Your fear of death is greater than your dignity?”, he mocked

“It is”, you didn’t even knew if it was true, you only wanted his endless attacks to end

“Or perhaps you wanted to serve me”, he tried, his voice tainted with mockery and something else you couldn’t quite distinguish, “perhaps you have been lusting over me since we were children, or, how else were you so willingly going to serve me after all I did”, he mocked.

Now if you said that was untrue, that you never deserved him, he might take it poorly, but if you lied and claimed it to be true, what kinds of depravity will he inflict on you?, you didn’t need to feign nervousness as you looked down and played with your fingers in your lap, he only chuckled darkly

You flinched when you saw his arm come near your, but he didn’t hurt you, insead with his single finger he caressed the side of your face, until it perched under your chin, he made you raise your head to look at him.

“One of the last Targaryen”, he whispered, “just you and me”, he said then, “the daughter of Rhaenyra, Maegor with tits, and Daemon, the Rogue Prince”, he said like he was talking about a legend. Your eyes lowered, you couldn’t stand watching him on the eye, he released you, chuckling darkly

“I want to hear you”, he demanded, making you look at him again, “why?”, he asked then

“I don’t want to die”, you confessed, “I had no place to go”, you said then, “This, had been my home for most of my life, I just… this is the only place I knew”, you answered as truthfully as you could

“So you just surrendered to your fate in my hands”, he said simply

“I am no threat to you”, you whispered, “I thought you were going to let me be, perhaps send me to the North to marry my betrothed, be a tool to you”

“A traitor marrying the last living daughter of the whore he served”, you winced at the cruel names he called them by, “no, you are going to be of use to me, here”

“Are you going to kill Lord Stark?”, you asked then

“We are still debating”, he said simply, “not that matters to you, I told you, you are to be nothing but my servant”, he said simply

“Why?”, you asked, “you asked me why, I ask you back, why? why would you have me as your servant instead of killing me?”, he chuckled, and your fingers soon turned into his full hand, grabbing your neck. You whimpered but he didn’t squeeze, he just let you know he could strangle you to death

“You are a bastard servant, you don’t demand answers from your lord, you hear me?”, you barely nodded, “the soon you came to realization of your place now, the better for us both”, you nodded again

He released you, dropping you to the floor like a rag doll 

“You are nothing, you re what I make of you, and you are a servant”, he clarified, making you whimper, “now, you will put in place my things in this room”, he demanded, “I expect perfection”, he said, “tidiness, and for you to be hastily”

“Yes my prince”, you said hastily. 

I felt shame in knowing that everything had always been done for me, and I had never done anything for myself. You weren’t sure of what to do but to open the first trunk and see it was filled with his clothes, so you grabbed them one by one and put them in place in the furniture destined for them, you had seen the servants do it countless times, so it shouldn’t be difficult.

What was becoming unnerving was the feeling of Aemond’s eye over you as you moved around the room, he sipped calmly on wine while he watched your every move.

What did he expect?

The amount of things told you he planned to stay, and you wondered what was going to happen in the near future, will you be his servant until you died? or he died? Was he coming back to King’s Landing? Did he plan on taking you with him? that seemed like a nightmare, to go back to that foul city

“Good job”, he cheered, you haven’t even realized that you had finished your job by placing a gold necklace on a top drawer you had reserved for his more luxurious belongings, the last of his things to be put away, “like you were born to serve me”, he said, and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes.

“I have meetings with the treacherous lords, they will want to see you, to ensure their surrender”, he said firmly, “you will stand there and look pretty and submissive, you hear me?”, you nodded. “Come”

In the main hall, there they were, Lord and Ladies of the Crownlands.

Again you were reminded of how little they loved you, if they were all here they must have been talking about their surrender for weeks, and nobody has ever told you Aemond One-eye was coming to Dragonstone to make you bend the knee, again, you were told your instincts were correct in believing nobody was coming to your aid and less of them were willing to make another rebellion to fight for you 

You tuned out Aemond’s voice as he made this while speech about how he understood their inclination, of how Aegon Targaryen in all his wisdom and desire for peace has decided to forgive them as long as they bend the knee and pay a hefty sum of their crops, swords, silver, anything they had.

Some fearful eyes looked in your direction, but you stood there, as Aemond desired, standing still, submissive, only nodding when Aemond said something of importance, and by the End of the Day, the Crownlands were once again allied to only one King, one Kingdom, under the Targaryen male heir. 

And another nail in your metaphorical coffin

Perhaps you should have ran away, you knew where the Dragonstone treasury was, you could have taken coin and flee for the free cities, live in peace as a wealthy woman, but no, a Taragryen, alone in the world was a terrible thing, you knew it, but perhaps a Targaryen bastard in the hands of the Last Targaryen was something worse and different entirely.

“It's been a long day, servant”, he said when he turned to you, once all the lords had left the room, “you will prepare me for bed”, he demanded, as the day was over and the sun was hiding in the horizon

“Yes my prince”, you struggle to make your voice not show the treble that shook your back and your body, he couldn’t know how nervous you made him.

Because servants were easily ravaged by the lords they served, and that scared you even more. 

You had proven to be accommodating, perhaps if you prove to him you were compliant, he will not have other dark uses for you.

But you were stumbling in the dark, you didn't know how far Aemond was rotten and how dark he was, so far, he has proven to be fair tempered, and not violent, but that could easily change.

Now, what will you do next?

[waiting4inspiration]

To Want (Aemond Targaryen x Sister!Reader)

Summary: Having chased away yet another suitor, you admit to your brother that you only want one person; him. Aemond wants you too and will do anything to have you

Warnings: INCEST (this is the GOT universe), mentions of blood, mentions of rape, mentions of arranged marriages and courting, sneaking around, fluff, angst, strong language, you are responsible for your own media consumption

Word Count: +4.5K (off to a good start for my first Aemond fic)

Aemond Targaryen Masterlist II House of the Dragon Masterlist

“You cut his fingers off?”

Hearing your brother’s voice breaks your attention from the book laying in your lap and makes you look around the huge trunk of the Weirwood tree you sit under. Aemond walks towards you with an almost proud smile on his face, his hands folded behind him, and a coy look in his eye. “I did not cut his fingers off. Lord Hawthorne’s limbs were still attached to his body when he left my presence,” you mutter, just loud enough for him to hear as he sits down beside you. “I had my reasons for doing what I did.”

“I don’t doubt that you do,” he says, looking down at the blood staining the sleeve of your dress. “Though, I don’t think mother will appreciate how you’ve driven away yet another suitor,” he adds, pointing to your sleeve with a finger.

You quickly glance down at your sleeve, letting go a deep sigh as your attention returns back to your book. “I’ll deal with that later.”

When you both hear footsteps in the gallery, you know that it is your mother, the Queen. She has her hands folded neatly in front of her, dressed in her signature dark green, and her eyes land on you as she walks into the garden. “You may have to deal with that sooner than you think,” Aemond whispers as he pushes himself off the ground. 

You stare at him with wide eyes as he leaves, almost as if you beg him to not leave you alone with your mother because you know that this conversation may end up in a fight with her. Aemond simply gives you an amused smile as he glances back over his shoulder at you, making you huff out a frustrated breath as you slam the book shut. 

When Alicent reaches you, you stand up from your seat between the roots of the tree and fold your arms over your chest as you look at her, waiting for the scolding to come. “I have managed to keep this situation from escalating. Lord Hawthrone will accept an apology-”

“Which I will not give him,” you snap, interrupting your mother as she speaks which makes her give you a stern look. 

“This is the seventh suitor that has asked for your hand that you have turned down or chased away. At this rate, word will spread and you will not find a husband,” she fights back, gripping her hands tightly as she takes another step toward you. 

As you shift on your feet, you shake your head and press your lips into a thin line. “Fine. This wasn’t my idea anyway,” you stubbornly say, turning away from her to flop back down on the ground where you had left your book. 

Alicent sighs as you bury your nose in the pages again and she urges herself to move and sit beside you. “Perhaps we should take a break from finding you a suitor. Let things calm down a little bit and defuse any rumors that might arise,” she gently says, placing a hand over yours and making you look up at her again. “For now, please don’t go looking for trouble?”

You bite your lower lip, slowly nod your head at her and then turn back to the book in your hands. Your mother gives you a warm smile before she stands up and walks away from you, out of the garden. 

As she leaves, you look up at her again, watching as her hair bounces as she walks. You can’t believe that she made this out to be your fault. It seems that everything you do is your fault, according to her. You’re sure that her trying to find you a husband is just a way for her to get you out of her hair. 

But you don’t plan on leaving your home as someone’s wife anytime soon. Not if you can help it.

You didn’t have dinner with your family that night because you knew that Aegon was going to make your encounter with Lord Hawthrone the topic of conversation. He was going to tease you and you were not feeling up for that turning into a fight. 

Instead, you stay in your room, sitting in front of the hearth with a burning fire inside. You stare at the flames, watching them dance in red and orange streaks that flitter up and vanish into nothingness. Breathing out a heavy sigh, you drop your eyes to your hands laying in your lap. When you close your eyes, you can still see the flickering flames now burned into your sights. 

Hearing your chamber’s door open, your head immediately snaps over your shoulder to see who it is that has disturbed your peace. Upon seeing your brother Aemond, walking through the door and giving you a small smile, you allow yourself to relax and look back into the fire.

He doesn’t say anything as he makes his way closer to you. All he does is sit down beside you, a leg spread out in front of him as the other comes up bent where he can rest his arm while the other keeps himself propped up behind him. “So, am I allowed to know now what happened?”

You take a deep breath but don’t look at him. You just keep staring into the fireplace, bringing your knees up to your chest and resting your chin on them. 

“I know you don’t attack without reason. I taught you that myself, sister,” he states, smirking at you when he sees a small smile creeping on your face before it quickly disappears. 

Aemond did teach you some self-defense when you were young. After he had spent so much time training in the yard with various weapons and realized that if anyone decided to attack you, his dear sister, and you were alone, how could you protect yourself. He tried to get mother to agree that you train the same as he and Aegon but she would not have it. You would grow the same way and learn the same things as Helaena did. But Aemond didn’t agree with that and took it into his own hands because he saw that you are nothing like your older sister. 

He saw a fighter in your eyes and he would feed into it. So he privately taught you how to yield a weapon. 

“It doesn’t matter what I say. I am just a woman and everyone will believe his word over mine,” you mumble, refusing to look up at your brother as you talk. 

Aemond shifts closer to you, lifting a hand to move the hair covering your face from him behind your ear. “And if I know, I will defend you if anyone says differently,” he whispers, turning your head towards him as he gently cups your chin between his thumb and index finger. 

You relax under his touch, your shoulders falling as you sigh out a deep breath, and lean against his hand. “His hand ventured a bit too low as did his lips. I knew what he wanted from me and I didn’t want the same. He wouldn’t take no for an answer so he got rough. And I had no choice. I reached for my knife to threaten him away, but it caught his hand and cut him,” you quickly explain, wanting to get the words out of your mouth as if they have a bitter taste on your tongue. 

Aemond knows how fierce you can be, how strong you are in front of everyone. And yet, here you sit, so delicate in front of him. 

“I know what people say about me and I know this will only add to everything. ‘Seven suitors that she’s chased away. She must have inherited the Targaryen Madness.’ They think I don’t hear them whispering in the hallways but I do,” you say, turning your head and pulling it out of Aemond’s touch. “They all think I’m mad.”

“Let them think what they want. They only think those things from what they see, not from what they know about us,” he says, shifting closer to you. “Look at me.” Your head turns again, looking straight into his face, your gaze meeting his. “They see me as mean and vicious and hot-tempered and cruel because of this,” he starts, gesturing to the patch over his missing eye and the scars peeking out beneath it. “I’m sure they think me mad too. Tell me, do you think they are right about me?”

You’re quick to shake your head. “No. No, you are so loyal to the family and bold and you have been nothing but caring to me,” you state and a smile grows on his face. “Though, sometimes you can be hot-tempered,” you laugh, smiling with him when he chuckles at your words as his hands fall over yours. 

“So you see, they do not know us for who we truly are. Let them think those things. You and I both know that they are wrong,” he whispers, his thumb caressing the back of your hand as he continues to stare into your eyes. 

You want to follow his advice as you always have. You want to just forget about the rumors and forget about those that spread them. But you cannot ignore the persistent twinge in the middle of your body, the fact that you cannot just forget and ignore everything.

“I can’t do that,” you sigh, shaking your head as you drop your head to look at his hands enveloping yours. “I can’t let them think of me as that when there is reasoning for the things that I do. And it feels as if no one will listen to me and what I have to say to explain myself and hear why I do not want to marry some stranger from the West,” you ramble, lifting your gaze back to Aemond’s face. “I already know who I want.”

You don’t need to say anything else for Aemond to understand. He understands because he feels the same way and knows that you know that. He wants you the same way you want him. You both know this from the times you two have spent together in secret, whispering, touching, and gazing at each other as lovers do. You’ve felt the pull towards him, just as he has felt it. Neither of you can say when you first felt it, but you just do. 

And as you two stare into each other’s gaze, you can feel the same pull between you two.

“You know mother would allow it,” he whispers, keeping his voice low as if there were another person sitting in the corner of the room. 

“We’ve always thought that because she had Helaena and Aegon married that they were enough to keep with the Targaryen tradition and that the rest of us were to marry to create alliances across Westeros. But we’ve never brought this up with her. We don’t know that she won’t allow it,” you mention, keeping your eyes on him as he drops his head with a sigh. 

You reach up, holding his cheek in your palm, the tip of your thumb almost touching the scar on his cheek as you lift his gaze up to you again. “I know who I want, Aemond. I am not going to change my mind no matter how many suitors she sends my way. I want to marry you, Aemond.”

Not another word is said between the two of you. Aemond’s hand reaches up once more to cup your cheek, allowing that magnetizing pull to draw him closer to you. He touches his lips to yours, your eyes fluttering shut as your heart leaps into your throat, your hand on his face pulling him even closer so that your shadows cast by the fire melt into one figure. 

It feels as though this was meant to happen. It was only a matter of time before you and Aemond could no longer fight the attraction you both felt toward each other. You’ve never wanted more than for this moment to happen. You’re sure you’ve dreamed of it, imagined it every moment you’re alone with Aemond, doubting whether he wanted the same thing as you. 

This only proves that it is you that he wants. 

“Will you stay?” you question softly when he pulls away, resting his forehead against yours. 

Aemond’s thumb gently caresses your cheek, an action of such tenderness you’re sure that those that speak rumors of the two of you could never imagine him capable of such a thing. “I cannot. I have duties to see to before the day ends,” he whispers, leaning ever so closer to nuzzle his nose against yours when he feels your body slack in sadness. “And you must rest, little fighter.”

That makes you laugh, a sound so musical to Aemond’s ears. 

As he begins to move away from you, he places one last kiss on your forehead before leaving you in the peaceful quietness of your room. He knows he has felt you wanting more for he feels the same want in his own body. Soon, he tells himself. Soon he will have you and you both will be allowed to give into that want.

His duties are not as important to him as the new mission he has thought of as he closes your chamber doors. Your words of how Aegon and Helaena are the family’s traditional sibling marriage rings in his mind. He knows that the Queen is ceasing the search for a husband for you for a while. 

Perhaps he can try and persuade her. He can entice her with the prospect that she no longer needs to continue the search. Alliances can be forged in other ways.

Aemond knows that his mother is still awake from the light flickering under her door. He knocks, waits for a response before pushing open her door to enter. 

“What are you doing here so late, Aemond?” she asks, standing from her desk and leaving the paperwork laid out in front of her. It is clear that she has not thought of turning in yet, business still on her mind. Aemond is not sure if that is a good thing or not. 

“You still intend to marry off (Y/n)?” 

Alicent sighs, folds her hands in front of her, and gives him a gentle smile as she moves toward him. “The right suitor for her will show up. Someone who can keep up with her personality. We just have to wait and see what comes from the incident that happened to her,” she begins, stopping just in front of her son to examine his expression.

“Give her to me,” he quickly states, causing her gentle and motherly look to drop from her face. “She knows who she wants. It is me she wishes to marry and I want her as well. Let us wed and end all of your strife to try and find someone who will tolerate her when I can do just that and you know it.”

The Queen stares hard at her son, her mouth in a thin line as she mulls over his words in her mind. “You know I cannot allow that. I am waiting for word from the Starks in the North. If their son agrees to marry her it could strengthen Aegon’s claim to the Throne-”

“Aegon,” Aemond sneers, cutting her off as he steps away from her. “Betrothing him to Helaena was to strengthen his claim and now you will marry off the rest of us to other lords and ladies around Westeros to do the same.” 

You were right about that. 

“Aegon is all you care about. You have never thought about the happiness of your other children and what it is they want,” Aemond accuses, glaring at his mother in disdain. 

Alicent gives him a sad look, stepping forward to place a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I am sorry you feel that way, my son. But I have made up my mind. (Y/n) will marry into another House as will you. It is all arranged.”

Her words make his body go stiff. So she has already started planning on finding him a wife. “Arranged with who?” he questions. 

But she simply smiles, turning him towards the door, and starting to lead him out. “Let us not talk about that now. It is late in the night,” she whispers as if not wanting to wake the castle. In truth, Aemond knows that she does not want to stir up his anger. 

Doing so only allows it to boil inside him, fueling the fire he feels to have you as his and to not see you shipped away to a faraway land where he cannot follow because he is being forced to go the other direction. As the door closes, the lost fight with his mother makes it feel as if you’re slipping away from him. Losing the fight means losing you. 

He doesn’t turn in for the night. His bed remains made and untouched and the candles continue to burn and melt all the way down. He watches as the flame of the candles reaches the end of the wick, burning out just as the sun begins to rise, lightening the sky and chasing away the darkness of the moonless sky. 

Aemond’s mind has been whirring with plans since he set foot inside his chambers, thinking of a way to get what both you and he want; each other. He knows that he will not get the Throne as he previously wanted due to the Queen’s insistence and so he has stopped fighting against that. But you are not lost to him just yet and he will fight to have you as long and hard as he has to. 

He knows his mother is somewhat religious and he knows that any act done before the Gods is sacred to her. It’s the setup in his plan that he will carry through. 

By the light of the day and the first sign that the castle is awake, he moves to see out these plans of his. 

You thought you would see Aemond the next day, that he would come to see you in the gardens or at least bump into him in the hallways. But even when you ask people if they have seen him and they say no, has you confused and concerned. It makes you overthink that perhaps he didn’t feel what you thought he felt last night. 

Perhaps he thought things would feel different if he kissed you and if he gave in to his wants. Maybe he changed his mind and you are not what he wants. 

Your mind races and you don’t even take in the words on the page of the book in front of you. All you’re doing is staring down at it while thinking of the million possibilities of where your beloved brother could be. It worries you deeply as to where he could have disappeared to. 

He’s most likely run away, you think after hearing that Vhagar is gone too. He must have regretted kissing you and fled in the night on dragon back. It breaks your heart to think that and think that it is the most likely scenario. 

These thoughts keep you occupied all day and by the night, you’re tired of thinking. All you can do is stare up at the ceiling as you lay in bed, allowing for the first time in the day your mind to be quiet. And yet, tears threaten to escape from your eyes. 

You never thought that without Aemond you would feel so alone. You thought that being so close to him meant that he would tell you anything bothering him. You thought…

Sighing, you bring up your hands to your face and shake your head to yourself. You don’t know what to think anymore. You turn onto your side, trying to go to sleep and hope that tomorrow you wake and this will have all been a nightmare.

But you continue to stare out the window, feeling the cool wind blowing through your room on your skin, and the question still etched into your mind. “Where are you, Aemond?”

You feel the bed dip behind you and it’s as if the intruder knows what your next move is because they grab your wrists before you can throw a punch. However, seeing Aemond’s face hiding underneath a hood makes you breathe out a sigh of relief. “Where the fuck have you been?” you ask, throwing your arms around his neck. 

He doesn’t answer you. Instead, he chuckles as he pulls you away to wrap a cloak around your shoulders. “Stay quiet and follow me,” he whispers, pulling the hood up over your head before leading you off your bed. 

“What are you up to, Aemond?” you whisper back, your hand slipping into his as you follow him out of your room. 

“All your questions will be answered soon. Just do as I say,” he whispers over his shoulder to you. 

You do as you're told. The thought that he came back for you is more than enough to make you happy. You know he has something planned but you’re not sure what it could be. Knowing that it includes you makes you feel stupid for having thought that he no longer wants you. 

He leads you out of the Red Keep, all the way to the Dragon Pit, consistently looking behind him to make sure you’re still following him despite having your hand so tightly held in his own. You’ve only been to the Pit a few times, not having the pleasure of having a dragon as your egg didn’t hatch. It was the thing that brought you and Aemond to each other. After seeing him bond with Vhagar, the Queen of Dragons, it reassured you that you don’t have to have an egg hatched to be a dragon rider. 

Aemond tells you that you have enough fire in your soul and that you do not need a dragon. 

There are no Keepers around Vhagar who seems to be waiting for her rider. Aemond lets go of your hand to move towards the dragon, places his hand on her neck and speaks to her in Valyrian before he looks over at you again, finding you staring in awe at the huge beast before you. 

He holds out his hand to you, beckoning you closer and you step forward with hesitation. “Relax,” he whispers to you, taking your hand and pressing it against the scales of the old dragon. 

You gasp when she moves, jumping back into Aemond’s chest when Vhagar moves her head to look at you. “She won’t harm you. Not when you’re with me,” he says in your ear, his other hand coming to rest on your hip. 

Then he moves you to the ropes draped over her neck in order for her rider to climb to their saddle. You look back to Aemond to see if he really wants you to do what you think he wants you to do. He simply nods up, silently telling you to climb. And so you do. 

You’ve never ridden a dragon before, never soared above the clouds and over the seas as you have seen your brothers and sister do before. You have longed to experience it and thinking that this could be your time to do that makes your heart skip a beat. 

Aemond isn’t far behind you, settling into the space of the saddle behind you. As he wraps an arm around you, commanding Vhagar to fly, you feel your skin tingle with goosebumps when she begins to move. 

Although she moves slowly, every movement feels a hundred times rougher than riding a horse. And when she rises off the ground, flapping her huge wings to ascend into the sky, your hands shoot for Aemond’s forearm wrapped around your waist. 

When Vhagar reaches the clouds, Aemond feels you relaxing with a deep breath. He watches you glance around at the open sky and then up at the stars that peek through any opening in the clouds. He can’t properly see but he can only imagine the look of awe on your face. 

He can see you closing your eyes, feeling the fresh air blowing against your face and through your hair. There is nothing that compares to riding a dragon and he knows this very well. But there is also nothing like seeing you experience this for the first time. 

Vhagar drops towards the waters below, giving you another spectacular sight to witness. You want to reach out to touch it, but Aemond stops you from leaning over, preventing you from possibly falling. With both his hands firmly holding onto your hips, you look over your shoulder at him. 

“What are you doing, Aemond? Why have you kidnapped me?” you ask in a laugh when you finally land on a small island you think is not far from King’s Landing. 

He doesn’t say anything as he helps you down the ropes, his hands not leaving your hips until your feet land firming on the ground. And when he takes your hand, leading you away from Vhagar, a bright smile grows on his face. 

Something in the distance catches your eyes and you force yourself to look away from the gleeful look on his face. Candles glow in the dark, all placed in a way that makes up an aisle that leads to a Septon standing beneath a tree. 

Suddenly you know what is happening and you look back to Aemond. “Mother will not allow us to marry. But how can we ignore what the Gods have destined for us?” he asks, still leading you toward the set up for this secret wedding. 

You cannot break your gaze from him the closer you walk toward the Septon. You admire Aemond’s plans and how he had done them so quickly and quietly. You don’t even want to know how he got this Septon to agree to do this. You’re just happy that he did. 

When you both come to stand in front of the Septon, Aemond gives him a nod to start, and you cannot keep the smile on your face from growing bigger. “We stand here in the sight of gods and men to witness the union of man and wife: one flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever,” the Septon starts, your hand holding tightly onto Aemond's as he lifts it for the holy man to tie your hands together in a blood red ribbon. 

“Let it be known that Targaryen are one heart, one flesh, one soul. Cursed be he who would seek to tear them asunder. In the sight of the Seven, I hereby seal these two souls, binding them as one for eternity.”

You know that your mother cannot do anything now for this ceremony is done before the Gods. When the sun rises, you will be Aemond’s wife and he will be your husband. 

Just as you both wanted. 

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[cursedvibes]

From what I’m understanding there is zero biological connection between Yuuji and Sukuna and from the translations I’ve seen he (Sukuna) describes Yuuji as his other half rather than Jin, even though Jin is the reincarnated twin. Almost like the soul/essence passed on to Yuuji through Kenjaku/Jin’s meddling. It’s like gege gave sukuita shippers all the good ‘one soul two bodies’ bits without there actually being incest haha

No, Sukuna calls his twin his other half because twins are two parts of a whole and treated by jujutsu as the same. 番った相手が俺の片割れの生まれ変わり... 俺同じとみた "[they/Kenjaku] paired up with the reincarnation of my fragment... [who is] identical to me" then he gives the whole speech about having to absorb (lit. "eat" but he's clearly talking about one twin absorbing the other because that's how you get conjoined twins or polymelia) this fragment/other half in the womb (however the fuck he remembers that...or maybe he's trying to be poetic about a natural process he found out about later). Uraume asks him what he means by 片割れ and he says his twin 双子. Well, he says he rejected being a twin, but that's just his edgy way of saying this fragment is a twin he doesn't recognize. He then states again that Kenjaku paired with the soul of his twin that had been drifting around and that is likely how Yuuji was created. The implication here is that Jin is the reincarnation of his twin because Kenjaku and Jin are Yuuji's parents. Sukuna knows Yuuji is Kenjaku's child, but he doesn't quite understand what's up with his body. There seems to still be some essence of the twin passed on to Yuuji, which likely gives him some of his special powers and is also what Uraume felt from him when Yuuji and Sukuna first clashed after the transfer, it wasn't just leftovers from Sukuna's cursed emergy. That together with remnants of Sukuna's presence in his body seems to be what Yuuji has awakened now.

If you want to, you could still say that biologically aka the physical bodies they currently inhabit aren't related. Sukuna is neither biologically related to Jin nor Yuuji because only his twin's soul reincarnated and Jin's body should have no relation to the one he and Sukuna had in the Heian era. So far there's nothing pointing to the Itadoris being related to Sukuna and even if they were, it would be watered down through one millennia and since Sukuna never had kids, the Itadoris would need to come from some other part of his family. But that doesn't seem to be the case. It sounds like it's random where the twin's soul reincarnates and this time it was Itadori Jin.

Their bodies are different, but there's still a relation through their souls. Jin is Sukuna's twin in his essence and soul and thereby Sukuna is Yuuji's uncle. Since twins are considered two parts of the same, I've seen some say that Sukuna would also kinda be Yuuji's father. While that may technically be true, I think it's a bit obtuse because Sukuna was simply not involved in the creation of Yuuji, so the titel "father" for him seems meaningless to me. Being his uncle also fits his personality and the way he acts around Yuuji and Kenjaku more. He might admit some relation to Yuuji, but he definitely doesn't see himself as a father.

Also, personally speaking, even if Yuuji was Sukuna's other half and "one soul in two bodies" (aka twins) that still at the very least sounds like selfcest to me 😆 but I mean, SukuIta is hardly known for being wholesome

[agentrouka-blog]

Hey! Did you find the time to read the affc outline yet? I just know people are seething lol. I wanted to ask, what did you think about the Tyrion outline? That he will “witness incest”? Will he see two people and be reminded of Jaime/Cersei because there doesn’t seem to be any other option. Dany is alone and I doubt she will get together with Aegon VI later in the volume.

Moreover, I feel like the pov Prince of Sorrows is Tyrion’s or Tyrion centric nonetheless because I feel “whores go everywhere” is the answer to the constant question Tyrion asks himself in adwd - “where do whores go”. Maybe he finds out about Tysha and it is painful??

I know at this point we can only speculate because we don’t have any evidence to go off on, but what do you think, can we figure out something about the outline?

Hi there! :)

(Reddit post in question)

I've read it but not in-depth. No time, unfortunately. (Employment is a huge impediment to fandom...)

Here are some rambling thoughts, yay!

I'm pretty sure the Prince of Sorrows refers to concept that Tyrion was supposed to have an encounter with the Shrouded Lord (I think?) in a dream of some kind, probably during his near-death at the Bridge of Dream, which was in the Sorrows stretch of the Rhoyne. What snippets of philosophical musings GRRM put under that header certainly fit a transcendent confrontation with Tyrion's conscience. "Let it go or it will become you. Let them go - will not bring you peace." Tyrion's inability to let go of his own trauma and resulting rage (like Dany, like Theon, like Stannis, like LSH, like Bran, like Arya etc etc etc) is utterly the root of his own villainy and future undoing. So that checks out. GRRM cut it, probably because it may have been too heavy-handed at this point in time. He instead opted to show us a Tyrion descending into complete depravity at Selhorys, with any self-reflection deferred to a much later point.

"Witness to incest" is so vague that I don't think we can even extrapolate it refers to any specific action with the plot so much as it's a self-description.

It's important to remember that this informal little note of an outline is from GRRM for GRRM, and these are prompts or reminders that tie into his already existing thoughts. We have no idea what those thoughts are. A phrase like "KILL THE MOUSE" or "witness to incest" can refer to an intended quote, it can refer to a status he wants to emphasize inside the chapter, it can be a personal reminder to achieve a specific moment or plot point, it can be symbolic. Is the Mouse Shadrich, or is it a code for Alayne, who is a mousy-brown creature scurrying about the castle, different but similar to Arya's Harrenhal mouse era? What it does is beautifully showcase how he structures the more pragmatic, detailed bits of his plot around key points he wants to make. Take the Arya notes. "The joy of giving". Obviously, he is working on complex imagery that juxtaposes "taking a life" with "giving the gift", the hypocritisy of murder for hire - and the genuine peace offered to those who come to die of their own volition. Here, too, GRRM chose to hold back on actually going into these issues in the finished product in Feast-Dance, probably saving it for the climactic escape and/or Arya's confrontation with Catelyn's revenant.

Is the incest Jaime and Cersei, which Tyrion has witnessed all his life? Was it meant to tie into Aegon and Dany (who he learns are intended to marry), or to set up something else, or both? GRRM chose to cut it, anyway, so the sentiment may well come back at a later point, much like the insights in the Prince of Sorrows.

Basically, while the emphasis on Sansa's identity is a pleasantly unambiguous support for her (already obvious) trajectory north in GRRM's own mind, I don't think we'll get much else out of this outline that isn't already in the text one way or the other. We shouldn't be too literal with the notes in there because he wasn't writing an explanation of his plot, he was writing an extremely self-referential little to-do list that may be as reliable as the to-do lists I write for myself on a day off: i.e., I end up doing one thing and scrap the rest in favor of lying around on my couch.

[quietwingsinthesky]

what do you think people would say about supernatural/the winchesters relationship if sam was female?

Realistically, I think Sam being a woman would have given the show itself free rein to be So Much Fucking Weirder towards her. I know this ask is mostly about the fandom’s reaction, but I need to set the basis that, given everything we know about how the show already is, Supernatural would have taken the Sam Experiencing Sexual Violence dial that is already at 9 and cranked that baby up to 20 and left it there for the whole run. And also, given everything else we know about the show, every time Dean ribs about Sam being gay in canon would either 1) stay that way but now have the extra layer of “Dean is really into watching girls fuck” on top of it to make it weird or 2) would just flat out be replaced with Dean hitting on Sam/insinuating something along the lines of ‘why would u ever want another guy? when I am here and all u need?’ because Dean is already a creep obsessed with his brother, can you imagine how it would’ve been written if he had a baby sister instead? Homophobia was the only thing holding the show back from flat out incest sometimes, I swear to god.

Okay, so. Now that I have established All Of That.

For one, we have to take into account how the fandom tended to react to female characters in general. Let’s see the forecast is uh. Bad. We are looking at huge divides between the “Sam is cool, we like her” and the “Sam is a bitch and the show should just be about Dean” crowds. (And the third crowd of “Sam should fuck her brother 😩”, absolutely wincest would still be a thing. It might be even more of a thing in this universe, but that’s all speculation.) Especially when s4 rolls around and Sam decides to be a little evil (and have a girlfriend? I’m assuming everything else in the show goes as is, and so would the Ruby plotline. Which means that’s going to awaken even more things in people than it already does. I would have stopped functioning if I saw girl!Sam/Ruby blood drinking and fucking on my screen as a preteen do you have any idea-) People are going to villainize the shit out of her for that, never let it go.

(Now, as the fandom ages, a lot of this is gonna simmer down like it did for real for characters like Bela. But in the moment? A goddamn war zone. Toxic waste dump.)

And we need to talk about the elephant in the room. Destiel. We already exist in a world where Sam will be completely sidelined and erased to get Dean and Castiel’s love story to seem like the most important plot of Supernatural. Now, I want you to imagine the absolute hell that would be to exist in a fandom where Destiel is the big slash ship and the other main character of the show is a woman. At best, continued sidelining. At worst, we are looking at “Sam is a bitch and the show should be about dean only” attitudes that carry forward into “Sam is a bitch who is in the way of destiel and should be killed off to get her out of the way.” Which you may note is usually a role given to female love interests that are despised for breaking up the main ship. This is because, for all intents and purposes, Sam is the main love interest in competition with Castiel for Dean. On a fandom level between ship wars of destiel vs wincest, but also textually, in the show, beyond shipping, Sam fills out that role in a platonic way as well and Castiel doesn’t. If Sam was a woman, this spells bad news for her. No woman gets in the way of gay ships and comes out unharmed.

Okay and now let’s talk about Lucifer because we need to talk about Lucifer, I’m a Lucifer blog, I’m a samifer girl, and I can tell you that none of these things would change for me if I was watching this version of the show lol. But! Remember what I said about the Sam Sexual Violence dial? Yeah. That is going to be. Extremely loud. Every time Sam and Lucifer are in the same scene. I guarantee you this is the universe where we get evil forced Samifer kisses at multiple points. This is absolutely the universe where, when Lucifer decides he wants a kid, he tries to get Sam pregnant first and only if he fails does he move onto someone else (and hint: he probably doesn’t fail.) Think about every Sam & Lucifer scene that ever happened and now reimagine it but the show can now be as weirdly sexually violent as it feels like because it’s “straight” now. The innuendos are out, and Lucifer is going to pin Sam against a wall at some point.

I’m very into this, but I feel like this would make the whole fandom situation around them a lot worse. People already get up in arms around samifer, or even liking Lucifer at all. If all that subtext became flat out text and people could gif “Times Lucifer sexually assaulted Sam on screen” into little gotcha compilations, it would be way more of a struggle to exist around here.

But like I’d still be into it so I’d definitely still be here, give me those comps, I’m gonna jerk off to them

ANYWAY. That’s what I think would change if Sam was a lady. Overall, not great, but I think there would also be a lot of people who find her relatable, empowering, etc, and really enjoy her as a woman. Probably the same people who like Sam now, honestly. If there’s any universe I got a chance to peak into, I’d want it to be this one. If only for samruby canon lesbian sex.

[overtsexting]

Hi! I want to ask you since you seem to know well about Fire emblem: is there real, blood-related canon incest? I read Camileo is semi-canon and they're half-siblings, is there someone else?

Yes, actually! Not as much canon bio incest in the more recent games (unless you count… whatever is going on with Rhea, but that’s its own can of worms), but very much so in some of the older games. The most notorious is fe4 (genealogy of the holy war). I’ve only played the beginning of it so my synopses may be a little inaccurate. And i’m putting all this under a cut because i rambled for too long :)

FE4 has:

eldigan and lachesis, where lachesis is stated IN the game to be in love with her brother and love him more than other men. his feelings on the matter are never addressed, but in the official manga, he returns her feelings and they very nearly have sex — the only reason he decides not to is that he knows he’s likely going to die soon and doesn’t want her to live with that sin alone. She has two children eventually, with fathers who are implied to be two specific men, but it seems she never really gets over her brother’s death. there’s a rumor that she was initially meant to be married to him, but the source of it is extremely suspect lol. since timing-wise her first son had to have been conceived sometime pretty close to eldigan’s death, i personally like to think he’s actually eldigan’s son ☺️

arvis and deirdre. this is like… the Plot of the game. arvis is born to a cursed bloodline where iirc they’re only allowed to have one child. deirdre has grown up secluded in a forest, separate from society. at the start of the game she marries sigurd, the protagonist of the first half, and they have a child. but she’s later kidnapped and has her memory wiped, so that she can marry arvis (who was not aware of that happening). they have twins, and then eventually it’s revealed that they are half siblings; the group that kidnapped her did so because of the cursed bloodline, and had her marry arvis with the hopes that their children would have the blood necessary to revive their ancient god. the whole thing is extremely tragic.

seliph and julia. this one’s a bit Less, but seliph is sigurd’s kid with deirdre and julia is arvis’s with deirdre. due to them starting at nearly maximum love points, there’s an exploit that lets you have them get married despite negative growths to their love :)

There’s more too: loooots of cousins you can have get married in the second half, as well as a pair who are kind of heavily implied to be long lost siblings but are “just distant relatives”

there’s also frejya in fire emblem heroes book 4 who only cares for her brother (because he was the only one kind to her as a child) and is jealous that he loves humans. so she decides to try and end humanity. the whole plot is her being a brocon. and in book 6, otr goes to GREAT lengths to prevent his adoptive brother from learning about his true past (that he came from another world where he has a family iirc) because he doesn’t want his brother to leave him.

not to mention in fates, corrin can marry all of the royal siblings. four of whom (xander, camilla, leo, elise) they grew up alongside and believed were their biological siblings until the start of the game. I think all four of them believed corrin was their bio sibling too, but that’s never made 100% clear. At the start, corrin learns they were kidnapped and are actually a half sibling of the hoshidan royal family (ryoma, hinoka, takumi, sakura) and that their real mother is the others’ stepmother. but corrin can also marry those 4. Turns out their father ISN’T corrin’s father, but only one of the routes actually talks about this in the plot. In the other route where these characters are an option, corrin does not know unless you choose to marry them. Ryoma has always known, but was told not to share that information with you, while the other three find out at the same time as corrin (from a letter from their late step mother). Basically, corrin can marry any of their adopted siblings OR step siblings, all of whom they thought for an extended period of time were bio siblings.

they play the “it’s pseudo incest so it’s ok” card but all of these S-supports involve some level of “i wish we were actually related” or “it’s ok, we can make it work…. wait we’re not related??” AND they generally still refer to you as their sibling after marriage, so it’s pretttttty incesty. tbh this is the best non-modded marriage for leo imo, all his s supports with women besides corrin feel so awkward and stilted and fake. he’s a siscon through and through <3 Then of course the other most prominent character, Azura, whom a lot of people marry just to avoid the incest, is revealed in the third route to be corrin’s first cousin.

so: yes, lots of canon incest :) there’s definitely more that i’ve missed

[aannonn]

Opinion: My own view on the SunFlower trio because.. Why not? lol

honestly i know absolutely no one asked me this but i rEAALLY wanted to do this kind of post so let's go

To be completely honest... I really like TeruAoiKane and (Ama)HanaNeneTsuka. without the incest ofc...

LIke- idk they all just- fit each other so much??

like-

I know not many people ship TeruAoi, AoiKane nor TsuNene (some may even call AoiKane and TsuNene toxic), but, honestly, if u put your mind into it, you (maybe) can see how much it makes sense.

Okokok... I'll just explain my own view on TeruAoiKane (all three of them together) and (Ama)HanaNeneTsuka (without the incest, of course.) ships. Feel free to add your own thoughts into it and/or correct me about it, though!

Though, since this post is kind of long... I'll be splitting this post into 2!

First i'll be talking about TeruAoiKane, theeen in the next part, I'll be talking about (Ama)HanaNeneTsuka!

Alr, without further ado... Let's start with TeruAoi.

Honestly, I never really thought about actually shipping them until I read this analysis about their relationship. (it was actually another analysis, but I can't find it; Besides, the analysis this person made is really good and well-taken!)

If u think about it, Teru and Aoi are pretty similar;

Both hide their true nature under perfect facades.

Both are the 'Queen' and the 'King' of the school.

Both have a very distinct line of thought about the world around them; Aoi oftens looks down on others, while Teru looks down on supernaturals. Aoi is afraid of being hated by the people she loves the most, while Teru is afraid of his siblings not needing him anymore.

It may not be alot, but it's definitely something; They both parallel each other so much. They both understand each other. I wouldn't be surprised if the 'Teru likes Aoi' theory would turn out to be canon, because Teru liking Aoi makes so much more sense instead of him liking Akane.

There are also alot of hints in the manga where its implied that Teru may like Aoi; (All taken from the very same analysis! If u want a more detailed explanation, you can read their analysis about it.)

Chapter 73; He says he likes Akane-san(He calls Aoi Akane-san, while he calls Akane Aoi). Turns around he was just kidding; But the way he acted about it didn't really seem like he was just 'kidding'. The fact that he says that in a bigger panel may really implies that it meant more than it should have.

Later on in the chapter, he looks annoyed when he asks Akane if he did something rather indecent to Aoi. Not even mocking or teasing, just accusing him of it as he says it with an irritated face. And the fact that the text was written in a black word cloud...

He looks pretty genuine in a panel; A panel where he seems genuinely melancholic when he says; "I.. only want Akane-san to come back."

Whenever is asked/implied if Teru have genuine feelings for Aoi, it's always shown to us a big panel about Teru's response. It's almost like his answer about this kind of question is important.

I don't think there are any hints about Aoi liking Teru, but there are definitely alot of hints about Teru liking Aoi. That isn't exactly what made me ship them, but more like their similarities and how they parallel each other.

I don't know how to explain it, they just make sense. They make it make sense. I feel like their ship makes alot more sense than AoiKane and TeruKane.

Their personalities are so similar, the way they think is pretty similar-They just fits each other personalities so much.

Besides, they make me think about that one trope where the popular kids get together in the end. It's clichè, but it's a nice trope when done well.

Now let's go to AoiKane...

I'll be honest; At first, I thought those 2 would never work out, and didn't deserve each other.

Akane was pretty obsessive towards Aoi, so much to the point that he would hurt himself just for her.

Aoi always hid behind the appearance of a perfect girl, so much so that it made her think that Akane never really loved her; Instead, he loved the school princess Ao-chan, not Akane Aoi. - Besides, she backstabbed him. (literally lol)

So yeah, basically; They weren't healthy for each other.

But... As the chapters went on, and how their relationship started to improve ever since the Sacrifice Of The Grim Reaper arc... I feel like they slowly started to patch up the holes in their relationship, and started to trust each other more.

Akane even stopped being that obsessive towards Aoi, and Aoi started to be more open to Akane.

Basically; Their relationship got a big massive improvement, and that's good.

Both of them genuinely loves each other for who the other are; They don't need such facades to love each other, they just do.

"One(s) who truly hates himself(themselves), cannot love. He(they) cannot place his(their) trust in another."

That phrase fits Aoi so much-

She always hated herself, always putting herself under a facade so everyone could love her and never know about her true flaws. She was very careful so that no one could ever know about her true self.

But once she realized that Akane did love her for she really was, she instantly started crying.

It seemed like she finally started to feel loved.

I feel like Akane could help Aoi to love herself more, while Aoi would help Akane to have his own personality more if they were to be in a romantic relationship.

They both got their flaws, but they genuinely love each other and it seems they are slowly starting to improve more their relationship at the same time they are starting to focus on themselves more. Akane is starting to gain more his own personality, while Aoi is (really) slowly starting to love herself.

I still don't really feel like actually shipping them, but I would be lying if their relationship and character's development didn't make me ship them atleast a lil' bit.

Besides, I really like the childhood friends romance trope.

Now let's move on to TeruKane!

To be honest.. I only shipped them for a while before I decided they were better off as best friends. (And that their ship was kind of toxic)

But now, mainly due to the fandom, I started shipping them again, this time for real.

Teru and Akane don't really seem to give any indication that they like each other romantically in the manga, but their dynamic and friendship is very interesting and fun to see.

And, I don't know, but it really seems like Teru cares for Akane;

Teru has cast a spell on Akane's glasses that makes it so he cannot see supernaturals while wearing them and can continue to live a normal life. This has become more evident in the Sacrifice of the Grim Reaper arc, where Teru saves Akane without telling him that Aoi would not be able to leave the Far Shore, most likely because he knew Akane would refuse to leave without her.

Akane does not hold back when insulting Teru, but does have respect for him. He recognizes the hard work Teru does and believes that even though he has a distasteful personality on the surface, deep down he is a caring person who wants to save others.

Taken from their shipping Wikipedia.

I have to agree that their relationship can be kind of toxic, and they wouldn't really work out; But the way they both have mutual respect and care for each other it really what drives me into liking this ship.

Besides, I once saw someone call them; "2 cm away from kissing each other trope", and I agree with them.

Besides, I think Teru would help Akane to gain more personality of his own, while Akane would view Teru for who he is. (I mean, they technically already do that in canon lol)

I feel like they both feel like they don't need to hide under a facade for each other, instead they are just Akane and Teru. Not Vice-president Aoi-kun nor Exorcist Minamoto-senpai; Just Akane and Teru.

Overall; Their relationship is a bit toxic so it will need some development, but their interactions together are pretty nice to see. They can definitely work out once their relationship gets more development. They are more like best friends than to lovers to me, but their ship is still pretty nice.

All three of them together.

It's basically TeruKane, TeruAoi and AoiKane dynamics, but with possibly more development and together.

All three of them would love each other for who the other are; I feel like they would make each other so happy.

Aoi and Teru would help Akane gain a personality of his own; Akane and Teru would help Aoi to love herself more; And Akane and Aoi would let Teru to act like himself more.

Mutual respect and care. Helping each other out with their self-worthy and self-love. Awful personality trio. Parallels each other. Popular trio. They are perfect.

There is probably more to add to it than it actually seems, but it's already 1 am in my country and I really want to move on to (Ama)HanaNeneTsuka already xd

Final opinion; I genuinely really like this trio. I feel like, once they all finally get the character development they deserve, they all could make it work if they were ever to be in a romantic relationship with each other. I love both of their trio name too; Awful Personality and Sunflower trio! To whoever came up with those names for them, you are a absolutely genius. That fits them so much-

Lil' reminder; Always remember that you are free to add your own thoughts into it or correct me about something! Just be respectful about it, please. &lt;3

Ohwell, I think that's it for this post-

Cya! ^~

Lil' update! ; Edited! Fixed some things and added some gifs. lol (Even though this opinion of mine is kind of outdated by now... xd)

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

zutaras : Maiko is abusive cause she said, "I just asked if you were cold not for your whole lifes story." (clearly they never improve as a couple and remain static cause the beach aint canon so they can ignore zukos bad behaivor )

Zutaras: you cant use zukos past to define zutara but they do it consantly with mai and zuko first meeting katara is a 100 times worse

Zuko invades kataras village/ roughly handles her grandma/ nearly burns the women/children/ nearly runs over a child with his large boat zutaras: Crickets / he redeemed himself/ doesnt count/ season 3 he hired a hitman well thats OOC awkard/ shy baby zuko would never. but aang would def abuse katara and make her do all the chores

Zutara: aang displays predatory behaivor/ abusive behaivor /bad boyfriend behaivor

Zuko throws a man into a wall because mai was talking to his friend/ insults her/ tries to wrap his arm around her after snidly asking, "wheres your new boyfriend? Zutaras: Call the two times he kidnapped her romantic/ Quote a line where he knocked her out as romantic

(and i have yet to see a kataang label zuko a rapistcause we aint braindead and dont want to demonize a child we just point out canon and zutaras just hate canon for some reason)

Zutara: Mai is abusive /katara would never/ worse girlfriend ever /bringing up zukos behaivor means you dont support abuse victims mai saves zukos life: Zutara: OOC // she never feared azula/ mai is toxic/ aang goes to save katara: CLINGY/ BAD BOYFRIEND/ hes obessed with katara zuko saves katara: TRUE LOVE

aang lets katara go and goes into the avatar state zutara: Seems fake that never happened katara:suggest her and aang kiss in cave of two lovers zutara: OOC / This is only happening because their stuck/ katara is his mom Zuko/katara trapped in a cave together: TRUE LOVE UNITES/ they were meant to be see the symbolism

Katara tells toph she doesnt want to be seen as a mom Zutara: MOMTARA is canon if you tell us otherwise your sexist

katara and sokka pretending to be aangs parent= GROSS INCEST tho i recall aang wasa their grandpa once.. its almost as if katara is the only girl who can pass as somewhat older, toph sure couldnt.. its not that deep fam..

zutara: LOK is sexist cuase kataras a mom but if she was the mom of zukos kid it wouldnt be sexist because.. she loves politcs

this is why i cant stand the zutara fandom from the hypocrisy, the igornace of canon, ignoring kataras agency , the hate towards aang, the sexist hate towards mai, the handwaving of aang trauma the sludge i went through with the tags as a zutara shipper.. made me nearly hate the ship.. it waasnt kataang fans that nearly killed a ship/ ruined zuko for me it was zutara fandom. sure not everyone thinks that way but so many of em do and it ruined the fandom experience for me i had to block the tag i still ship but it have zero interest in a fandom that hates the show /main character/ heck im convinced 90 percent of em hate canon zuko /katara cause they sure never talk about their canon personalitys kts all just boring fanon to throw shit/aang/mai worse shipping fandom i ever met..

The only thing I'll disagree with is the point about Mai and Azula. While fear/intimidation/Azula being her princess before being her friend WAS the main reason why their friendship crumbled, it wasn't as simple as Mai being just her puppet. We literally see her deciding, of her own free will, to go help Azula in book 2.

She made a bad choice by joining Azula. So did Zuko. If anything, the complexity of "I cared about this person, but the relationship got toxic and I had to distance myself from them because of it, and now to make things even worse we're in opposing sides of a war" is something they can both relate to - hence Zuko not holding it against Mai, since that is a mistake he also made.

It's almost like they are compatible or something...

[reapcrbunny]

Hello.

To the Followers that remain, new people seeing this message wondering what thas been going on, and people checking on this blog to see if I’m still here . .

I’m writing this to express my apology and accountability for the last year and a bit that this blog ( and soulseekcr ) was active.

My original pinned with my rules doc attached has been replaced with this post but I will place my rules for prosperity purposes here. If you are reading this post on soulseekcr's blog, you will see it link to dahlia's rules document, though the rules information that has been updated was also updated on that too. Fair warning, this post is long and there will be no read-more, hence the content warnings below. I do not wish for it to be seen as me trying to hide something when I at this point am trying to be genuine, truthful and sincere in where I have failed.

Thus, the content warnings are as follows and read at your comfort or pace: mentions of grooming / predatory actions, my behaviour, boundaries being pushed, mentions of incest.

I implore people reading this already rolling their eyes to bare with this whole thing — please. This is not me tossing blame on other people. It’s just .. me. I know this is long. I apologize. I have much to apologize for and acknowledge. This apology is to the people who saw me in general and to who that hurt because of my past behaviour that, in 2016 - 2018 had been predatory and grooming. This apology is to the people that have been effected directly or indirectly from my actions of being in various servers either from their conception or later on — it was never at all my intent to “ block evade “ as I have been said to have. This apology is to the people who I made feel my writing(s) with them were coerced. I will get into everything if I can. If I miss something, I am sorry, there is a lot that is going around that I have done and without any real knowledge of what else there is besides what I know. I'm speaking about what I know I have done in years past up to the Australian date of 19th April 2023. This was written by me and me alone. Before you ask yourself or think to someone who may have prompted me to write this - no one has told me to make a statement or say any of this. This has been written over a course of a day throughout my work breaks and upon me returning home by my own volition. Thank you.

This apology will cover the grooming / predator accusations, the block evasion accusations, my behaviour and some other things that I believe have been brought up over the course of the last few days through people writing to me as a final goodbye through discord or other means. For starters: my intent was to try and find a community to interact in where I could possibly grow and change in. It is clear, obviously, that this action was taken as something more hurtful and my intentions? They do not matter. I’ve hurt people by existing in discord and certain tumblr spaces and effectively caused more harm. Making my blog over on soulseekcr was, in my mind, harmless. But to some it was seen as, once again, block evasion or someone I did out of malice. To say I did not, again, I know may not be believed and that is alright. I understand how things now look and how I can be believed is non existent. To comment on the apparent confusion, surprise and most likely ridicule, about my rules seeming to be non transparent is something I absolutely apologize over.

For the past few years ( since the edit done when my receipts blog was created in 2020 ) no one brought up the fact that my rules were hard to read due to the formatting itself or that the rule under where I dropped my receipts blog wherein my callouts are located was an issue or seen as me hiding my past. While it clearly does not matter now as, well, y’know … it has been updated to be at the very top and if I ever decide to write either here on this blog or anywhere on tumblr again it will be done in such a way. I am not placing blame on any one person for not telling me this, nor am I going to blame my autism OR my learning disability in full for it not clicking that when people seemed surprised over things that were in my rules when it was brought to them by other parties that, like, it was an accessibility, placement or a me problem rather people than just not reading. I am aware that I have absolutely expressed my disgruntlement on main ( and in private ) about it which, absolutely has been hurtful to the people who were affected by this. Again, I am sorry for not taking the steps earlier to move things around on my rules document sooner. Following the issue with my rules document not being clear or as some clarified " being too far down " … it does make sense wherein people would be surprised over the actions I committed seven years ago.

The behaviour of me writing smut or initiating smut discussions, sharing nsfw art that I have commissioned among other things related to smut content . . was understood to be agreed upon on my end to be something chill on all fronts. If I ever felt something was a little off I either clarified to make sure everything was okay / if comfort levels were okay or dropped the conversation. In my belief, if content being written was being continued then I didn't think anything was wrong as I believed comfort levels were intact. Clearly, they were not. Should I have been, like, more self aware? Probably. Was I? No. Despite my learning disability and autism in understanding things like tone in writing or subtle hints to be like 0% and with long covid throwing that into the negatives . . i still pushed boundaries. Whether I meant to or not does not matter. The excuse I used wherein I would be excited to write with people at all does not matter. People were made uncomfortable and I pushed your boundaries. To individuals I was under the impression I writing with and coming up ideas with -- I wasn't on top of it enough to catch onto discomfort and disassociation and I am at fault. I got caught up in writing something I believed to be at comfort level, when it was not due to signs i did not see - and that is on me. If boundaries were actively being pushed and told to me directly I would have backed off, apologised, and carried on with different genre's of content as I would have been aware that the consent of the nsfw was no longer, like, consensual. For that, to the probable boundless people I have hurt with this, I do not blame any of you for this. I was. Really excited to write with people who were giving me another chance at the time. I have even expressed this fact on voice calls or in text that I was just overjoyed to write with people or I needed communication on certain things - But I was blind to the fact that people were uncomfortable, noticeable or not in terms of distancing content and that is on me and I am sorry.

The grooming accusations? Regardless of my age and how I was just barely an adult at the time or not does not matter. Regardless of me not being sexual in any capacity to the the original maker of my 2018 callout ( wherein my grooming behaviour happened in 2016 - 17 ) or the other individual I dated prior to me turning 18 does not matter. What matters is that, yes, it happened. Regardless of me backing off or not, I was 18 - 20 and I voiced my crush on a minor ( and dated someone else when I was 18 after turning so ). It does not matter to individuals that these actions are not being committed anymore — I will be seen as a monster always to some and, while frustrating to me, that does not matter. What matters is that is how they feel and I respectfully accept that. I was short - sighted to believe that something I did seven years ago to such a degree was something that people could see me change from or that staying in my own lane was possible. I cannot see the man who hurt me as likely changing. It makes sense. It wasn’t and I was wrong. No amount of double checking, blacklisting on my end or trying to co-exist in servers or any activity was going to probably work. Could it have? Maybe a little better. Or not. In hindsight I genuinely don't know -- but I do know that my belief was wrong, unintentionally I continued hurting people directly and indirectly and I am sorry. The last few days wherein my initial statement was made and commented about incest only was my mistake alone. I assumed due to a previous interaction that it was only about that and proceeded to think I was being compared. I breached trust with someone who gave me that information, someone I do not blame this on as it was my fault for running with it and I am sorry.

The trauma the person who was warning the community about because of the grooming in 2016 - 2017 was ( is? tense is hard, I am sorry ) warranted. The belief that I am always and will be that to them, a groomer and/or unchanged, is valid as that is all I will be remembered as to them and anyone else who had been effected by my actions. To the person who made the callout: I apologize. I heard that you were dogpiled — that was not something I wanted nor asked for. Your request to avoid me and the people that wrote with me was valid, it never not was. My behaviour in the past ( and, clearly, in the present ) being made to seem as current set me off and I made a statement I asked if it was alright to make about it to what I thought was the case. I felt I was being chased into a corner and grew defensive. I had a meltdown because of this and stepped away from the conversation as I felt either me or the other person I was dialoguing with wasn't understanding or trying to rile me up on purpose. It was charged, I handled it wrong and I was seen to be deflecting the situation because I misunderstood and misinterpreted the situation -- it is no ones fault but mine. I made assumptions, I had a public meltdown in a server when confronted with the reality I didn't understand where it was coming from because I was triggered by words being spouted at me. As I explain above in terms of the coercion that I have made others feel been committed by myself, among literally everything else I've seen from people before they've left in their goodbye discord messages . . was such. Whether I meant to or not, people were feeling hurt by current behaviour or coersed. But because I grew hyperfocused on the belief that I was being compared to someone who was writing incestuous content actively I did not know about on main when it was brought to my attention. Due to the events being one after another ( like days apart ) I thought that ( guilty by association or writing said content with them ) was the reason I was being called out ( again ). I got upset. I thought it was something to just start a lie. I got defensive, blind to anything else and as someone has said: remorseless. To say I am remorseful as I had the chance to be disconnected and isolated from the situation since I was removed from servers, cut off from those who were people I talked to . . is true. I've sat and come out of defence and shut down mode, read the last messages people have given me and properly stepped away, went to work, and got my brain to realize the reality. I'm remorseful because I was not calm. I tried to express my understanding of my victims and those I hurt and how they feel by bringing up my own -- which, like, in my understanding . . to bring up how i relate to other peoples' experiences is to express compassion or understanding with the situation. However, it was viewed and made to feel as weaponizing my victimhood and spinning the narrative and I am sorry. I was upset, defensive and already under the assumption that something else was why I was being called out. I saw it as an attack that made no sense. I felt antagonized, grew childish and lashed out in the conversation which is plain to see. I did not understand where it came from so suddenly, as I thought I had steered away and kept distance from people I knew didn't like me in a " public space " but I know now that me just being there was not helping and I recognize that. I recognize that it is not about me and my change or lack thereof - it was about victims of my actions being heard. I am sorry that it took so long and I was either ignorant, blind or just ??? I don't know. In any case: the conversation has been documented several times at this point and by now is most likely on my receipts blog.

The actions and other behaviours I committed when I was younger ( and currently with those who I made feel coerced, lies, etc ) … it effected people and still does even when it happened 7 years past and now, recently. As a survivor of csa I understand completely in how it follows people and while I know my apology cannot fix the trauma, loss or hurt that has been caused: please know that I am sorry. I am sorry that due to my lack of awareness, my excitement to write with people or, like, common sense that my appearance kept being seen. I believed blacklisting would fix the situation or that it was the problem in the first place. It wasn't. I believed that the state my rules were at was fine. It wasn’t. It was not my intent for people to feel deceived or lied to due to the content I expressed above but, again, my view of it does not matter. It happened and I am sorry for it. Actions have been taken on my end for it to be deadly clear and you are welcome to look and see. While in my head, saying or acknowledging any of this feels like a moot point, because again who is going to believe me? Who is going to read this? Who knows. Even if no one does, it needs to be said. I believed I'd been doing better in engaging with people who brought up serious topics to me wherein boundaries were breached, I got called out in my behaviour, acted a fool and got hyperfocused on the wrong thing and stepped away from the conversation when I felt it was going nowhere because of my own fault of not calming down. My aim was to not try and control a narrative, my aim was to, in my narrowminded view, not be accused of things I thought I was not doing anymore. Regardless of being directly aware or not of the things I was doing . . it was happening. I was doing the one thing I never wanted to do again or be the cause of: hurting people I saw as my friends. Its not a fault of a lack of communication on both sides, it is me still being unable to recognize social cues or subtle cues that, hey, maybe someone is uncomfortable, it should not always have to be something that has to be punched in my face. It is something I need to continue working on and be more attentive of if I'm ever granted another chance or I write in another rpc again. Semi - finally, I want to apologize to the individuals, moderators and admins that ran servers I was in that were accused of harbouring me in some sort of guilty way. Your mental health has been effected irrevocably and I am sorry. I am sorry for indirect or direct words spoken in your directions. I am sorry to the people that had to either be triggered by the content discussed in the server itself to those who i made feel uncomfortable. I am sorry that my presence in my selfish attempt to have a safe space ruined yours. I am sorry to anyone and everyone that has been indirectly effected by this and your comfort shattered. I am sorry to the individuals that I made feel that my victimhood or my pain was more important than yours. Your pain has and always will be important, relevant and real. My behaviour that you ( and others ) more than likely brought up days ago, and the behaviour that has been more than likely been mentioned in the reblogs of the post, others' or, god knows where else . . was valid to speak out about. Thank you for doing it and holding me accountable. I have not seen everything said and I do not know if I ever will as it will 100% be a breach of boundary if I go looking on peoples' blogs. And I have already done enough damage. I want to thank my former friends and people who gave me a chance at all. I’m sorry that I abused that chance, your boundaries and the trust that was given.

Where will Miles be going to hide next you might ask, wondering when I'll shut up and end this very long post, disappear and reappear somewhere else under a different name. I am not going to hide is my short answer. But I don't have an answer for long term of what I am going to do. The answer I do have for the short term is to leave this post here and on @soulseekcr pinned. Leave avenue's open for dialogue or if anyone left wants to talk to me, and . . take an indefinite hiatus. I clearly need to reflect on what I have definitely blundered on and work on, again, the things I can work on to be more attentive to social / text cues. Actively being here when I have not, like, properly done so when I think I have is doing no one any good. I've made a mess of things. A big one. I know that people who have been hurt by me mayhap not have made it this far and I am aware of that. I am aware that my second chance ( or third or fourth ) has left the building and for that I understand if, in the future, I have run out of them. If I do return to this or any rpc, this blog will be the first to be updated with the url most likely under this pinned post. I do apologize in advance if I am seen in FFXIV, I've taken steps to remove from my friends list those I know do not wish to see me - which does, you know, make you not stand out to me. I am sorry if you see me, the blacklist feature is useless and we all know this. I am sorry if you get upset that I am either in your area, in your alliance or in your dungeon. I will say nothing. I will not bother you. I will not interact in any form besides to probably heal you if I am and then leave. Most likely I'll remain silent if I notice ahead of time. If I have already been removed from the FC's I was attached too - good. If not, don't worry, I've already likely deleted that alt or in the process after posting this to do so. FFXIV is a global game and while, again, my credibility is shot and at this point no one is bound to believe me . . I am not in the business of looking after people in the game to see what is going on. I'm not wishing to press boundaries that have already been run over by a truck.

Finally, I know that this post is being shared in private, picked apart and dissected before anyone even got down to this point. I am not in control of that and I am at the mercy of the ffxiv RPC, my receipts blog ( probably ) and anyone else picking this apart or wherever else it ends up. I hold no malice to the people that do this as it is fair and deserved. If anyone has questions, wants to talk or if anyone wants to discuss my statement ( calmly and without coming at me swinging and even if you do: that's fine. i will probably take an hour at most to read it over a couple times, breathe and then respond like a human being rather than someone just. like. unwilling to listen and defensive. ) I am available on discord ( ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ꜱᴜᴘᴘᴏʀᴛ ᴠɪᴇʀᴀ#7914 ; this will update if i update it ), through Twitter DMs ( @sayteenies ; this has no chance of changing or me moving ) or through tumblr DMs / asks — though this last avenue may take longer for me to respond to due to by above mentioned however - long - hiatus. Thank you for reading this monster of a post, everyone keeping me accountable, your time and sanity to get to the end.

Miles. | April 19 2023.

[llycaons]

surprise! I read volume 1 of svss

conclusion:

okay, on a serious note - I know, I know, but the curiosity was really getting to me, and I like to know what I'm dealing with when I criticize something (if you were following me when I decided to read the mdzs novel, you'll remember I did the same thing then). anon who asked me if I'd ever read it because they wanted to hear my thoughts and I said no - well, if you're still out there, you got your wish. but only volume one (1/4 of the full story). read on for my impression and review.

many thanks to jana @neixins for being my discord reading buddy for this project! her support, insights, and companionship made this far more entertaining than it would have otherwise been

fun fact before we start: I don't know why svss is exclusively referred to by its english acronym, but the acronym for its mandarin title would be RZFZX (full title Rén zhā fǎnpài zìjiù xìtǒng). I suppose svss (or SVS, or SV) is snappier

this is the official translation I'm reading, and the writing style is fine. definitely easier to parse than orv. and the art really is lovely

tw for discussion of grooming, abuse, and rape

brief overview of the plot: protag shen yuan, a modern-day young adult, is reading a long, terrible male power fantasy/stallion novel and complaining about how contrived and stupid it is. he dies at the moment he finishes reading and is transmigrated into the novel in the body of the infamously cruel and sadistic teacher of the protag, shen qingqiu. he knows that the young protagonist of the novel (luo binghe) will enact terrible revenge on the teacher when he grows up for all the abuse he suffered under sqq's hands, so he tries to make nice and get the lbh to like him

shen yuan (now sqq) has to navigate the rules of the system while trying to save his own skin, avoid acting ooc while trying to be nice to the mc, advance the plot, get 'badass points', and resolve the issues that led to the work being of such poor quality. his modern, internal monologue contrasts with his scholarly air in very funny ways, and his constant critiques of the writing are likewise fairly humorous commentaries on lazy and stereotypical writing

however, the parodies of contrived, cliched, and foolish writing tropes do not stop mxtx from writing these very same tropes into later works like mdzs or tgcf, nor does her pointing out those tropes automatically make her book good, so it's an incredibly exasperating experience. I thought she improved since writing mdzs, but it seems like she knows that what she's doing is cliched or pandering but she does it anyway. much like sy, we're exasperated because this could have been a really cool work and the execution is just not what it could have been

this book also has the dubious honor of being the only mxtx book to reference incest without condemning it or recognizing it's disgusting

I do think mxtx has a genuine talent for critiquing sexist and absurd romance tropes for straight couples, but she writes as if whatever gay people do to each other is fine. readers of tgcf and mdzs will know....in fact as much as I hate to say it, the moment in mdzs where wwx apologizes for assaulting lwj is one of the better ways she's handled these things. of course it's ruined later because lwj literally doesn't care he's been raped and they move past it immediately etc. but I would be shocked if the inappropriateness of the svss relationship is EVER addressed, so mdzs may actually be the one where it's handled slightly better. we know the age gap never comes up in tgcf, of course

anyway mxtx makes fun of the idea of a female love interest providing the mc with free therapy while she constructs a scenario in which sqq has to take on a love interest's role of support/inspiration

examples: this is a character that's presented as poorly-wriiten

this is LITERALLY how xuan ji tgcf was written except she hates pm instead of being obsessed with him like was in the past!! don't critique shitty writing for female characters if you refuse to do better!

the characters are not especially noteworthy, and unlike in tgcf or mdzs the mc has no real distinctive style, either visually or personality-wise. almost everyone was either very one-dimensional, unlikable, or just boring imo. I get that we're very early into the novel, but I don't really care about these characters at all. shame because it sounds like the side characters are really fun later on

the modern-day origins of sy make for some funny references - there are mentions of harry potter, and the book he gets isekaid into apparently has a ton of fanfiction

the horror is quite good - some of those monsters are freaky as hell. she always did have a knack for horror

much like mdzs has a ton of literary references, svss has a lot of references to modern films and tv shows, and to things like chinese ads or websites that a modern-day chinese reader would recognize, but that a translator would need to explain. it also does have some proverbs and wordplay as well

as for the elephant in the room: I consider the relationship in this novel to be grooming rather than csa/pedophilia. they may not get together until they're adults, but the mc is 14 years old when sy is isekaid in and there is absolutely already some kind of mutual something going on as early as chapter 1, despite sy criticizing other characters for being creepy with their students and referring to lbh as a child repeatedly. while sqq doesn't act on any of these feelings, it is impossible to ignore in their interactions and it did give me a helpless sense that I was in a horror movie

mxtx toes the line and tries to get away with as much as possible - adult/child relationships and grooming are a joke to her and her readers, something exciting, something fun, but like in tgcf, nothing actually happens

they would have had a much better relationship as simply master and student. or if the romance needed to be there, sy could have been isekaid into one of lbh's peers, as he had plenty of bullies his age - gay love changing the course of the narrative is a fun trope and if they'd been the same age, I genuinely would have enjoyed it. but lbh venerates and hero-worships his teacher, and this kind of power dynamic doesn't just cease to matter once he hits 18. he was an abused and vulnerable child offered kindness and support, and he latched onto and became obsessed with his teacher. getting a crush on a teacher is fine, but it shouldn't have turned into a romance. like tgcf, the issues with the main couple are foundational, but they could have been eliminated by the author just not being a fucking creep

also, sqq is vain and self-centered, and while he treats lbh kindly and praises him, he also treats him like a servant and shamelessly exploits his hero-worship to get good food and manual labor out of him. he's out for his survival so I understand him acting selfishly, but he internally talks down to all the characters he meets if he thinks they're poorly written, and it makes it a nightmare to be in his head for very long bc he's so mean. he is funny, but but he fucking sucks and I dislike him as a main character. compared to wwx and xl, he's the worst main character in terms of personality (even if he's much better than the original sqq)

for specific examples for the inappropriate writing of their relationship, all in this volume:

there are several vague descriptions of ~feelings~ on both sides when they see each other (lbh is 14)

at one point, sqq is poisoned in a way that he knows can only be cured by sex with lbh, and he thinks of it briefly before laughing it off like 'wow that would be CRAZY' as always mxtx, jokes are a great way to handle statutory rape. excerpt:

💀💀💀💀💀

lbh overhears that sqq praised him, and the character he overhears it from is described as a wingman (lnh is 15)

one of the disciples is angry that sqq suddenly favors lbh. excerpt:

after lbh 'dies' at age 17, sqq scolds himself, saying he's acting like a widow who's husband has died

so while nothing romantic or sexual happens this volume, the groundwork is there. see this screenshot from chapter 5 of the novel (originally chapter 30), at the very end of this volume:

if sqq had no attraction to his student, there would be no reason to be so panicked

it's like...nobody acts normally about this. lbh and sqq have the weirdest quasi-flirtatious conversations that skirt the edge of being explicitly romantic/sexual. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that this was written to appeal to people who are into age gaps and grooming, if not outright csa. have some more excerpts

like...what IS THIS?

at the end of this volume, lbh is sent away for five years by sqq (he was forced to drop him into a demon abyss bc he needed to advance the plot) so when lbh returns he will be 22 and presumably VERY angry with sqq, and will probably use his newfound power to...torture him? or something? I don't know how their relationship will go from now on, but I have no interest in reading it when I know it's going to end with them as lovers. yeah, even if it does happen when they're both in their late 20s

otherwise, the first few chapters of the novel are extremely funny. it and has a lot of original ideas. but it's difficult to ignore such a premise, and I don't think it's worth it to grit your teeth through unless you have a particular interest in reading this book, to either critique it, enjoy the humor and creativity, or try to figure out why people are so hell-bent on defending it. and honestly by chapter 4 (around ch25 in the original novel), it's not even that funny anymore and the parody aspect has worn out since there's so little of substance to replace it. the og novel is mocked for being a cliched mess, but these are mxtx's actual characters now and she doesn't really seem to do much better with them

the age gap in tgcf is creepy too and I definitely don't like that hc became fixated on xl at a young age, impersonated a little kid, and then reverted back to a little-kid form, but xl not actually knowing him or forming a relationship with him back then is part of why I'm less grossed out about it than I otherwise would be. xl didn't know who hc was when they met and they had barely any relationship when hc was a little kid. he was just a fun guy and they started hanging out together. hc wasn't a young boy placed under his care who he started developing feelings for oh my god I hate sqq so much

there was a side character that sqq describes as 'beautiful' who he had a somewhat antagonistic relationship with who would have been a PERFECT love interest for sqq if he wasn't a fucking creep and im so mad that they didn't become lbh's gay dads instead of whatever the fuck went on

tl; dr: an engaging and original premise with a lot of humor. clever and insightful in many ways, with some great horror scenes, but as in other novels, unable to be normal about gay people and inescapably, unnecessarily ruined by the grooming between the main character and his love interest and the abuse that apparently comes afterwards. also ignorant to its own faults, sexism, and illogical stances even as it parodies others

spoilers for the rest of the book

-

-

-

according to a beloved mewtual who has provided me summary for the rest (thank you for the info!), the relationship is fucked up for the remainder of the book for completely different reasons

ready? after lbh comes back, sqq is freaked out and doesn't want anything to do with him because he thinks lbh is going to kill him. lbh in fact doesn't want to kill him, but has apparently undergone a complete personality change and is now just a bitter and VERY yandere asshole and proceeds to torment, stalk, harass, torture, and sexually assault sqq until sqq agrees to be in a relationship with him. this abuse and shifting of power dynamics could have been handled in an interesting way, but it isn't, and who's surprised

later in the story lbh is risking qi deviation, so sqq reluctantly (and painfully?) dual-cultivates with him. I heard years ago about some kind of rape torture porn scene and I assume this is what it was referring to

I cannot imagine the appeal this romance holds for fans because this sounds completely fucking miserable and victim-blamy as hell, but uhhh they get married in one of the extras

as for the side characters, a lot of them are kind of doing their own thing? they sound like a ton of fun compared to the main guys. there's a demon snake guy, they're a cool demon lady who's kind of in lesbians with another disciple, there's another gay couple who are like insane and assholes but seem perfect for each other so 👍

anyway bingqiu is abusive but surprisingly not because of sqq, though I haven't forgotten him being creepy about his student this volume either. I can't believe svss was just proto-killing stalking this entire time. aside from glorifying abuse and victim-blaming, that's just so fucking boring. what a disappointment. for all their faults, mdzs and tgcf had legitimately magnificent scenes, complex relationships, interesting plots, heartfelt emotional moments, and compelling characters. no wonder this is the unfavorite of the batch - it's absolutely the worst in every way and it sounds like it doesn't get much better

if you're going to send me anon hate about this like 'your interest is problematic too' or 'let people enjoy things' just save yourself the time and block me first. I absolutely do not care about your opinion and I'll just delete it unless you're explaining something I've misunderstood in good faith. and even then I think so lowly of the fans of this novel I might just delete it anyway, after screenshotting it and sharing it with my mutuals to laugh at. get some fucking taste. that's all

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

(Note: All of these asks are before episode 206 (Season 2 finale) so some may be dated.) 1. Lmao theres like a lil fight in 199 where rachel and her backups seem to be fighting whether to keep drawing athena masc and identical to all male characters or just draw her like a clone of all the other female characters💀 it went back and forth so much

2. I did like Hecate, but Rachel kinda ruined her character. She smacked hades for liking a 19 year old, proceeded to try and match make hades and Persephone and then tell Minthe “I try to help you but you make it so hard” (MA’AM!), was there when Thanatos was dropped off to be Hades’  son/employee and did not help there. Like she was presented to be this cool great character, but now it’s all about hades and Persephone end game and nothing else matters. I don’t even think Hades did anything to prove to Hecate he wasn’t a gross old man. 

3. Rachel is really like "um these are Hades' emotional support slaves"

4. Kinda seems like RS is trying to take notes from the beginning of Riverdale, I mean cmon, your protagonist is “bubbly on the outside but actually so mean >:3 oh wait no that’s just what everyone (including her mother with realistically well founded concerns for her daughter) thinks of her except her morally gray black-obsessed boyfriend with daddy issues

5. PLS why are there now LO fans literally shipping the brothers together (where one obvs has to be genderbent to a girl) and yet still dont see the hypocrisy in it towards the myths rachel is butchering?? so incest is bad and cant be involved in hxp but incest is cool to ship canon brothers together. theyre really having a normal one i guess

6. So to sum up - Perse has a wrath issues that causes her to murder entire village because she cannot control it and her solution is to go into the society pretending nothing happened and hoping it somehow doesn't happen again. While Zeus solution is to separate her from everyone so she won't be able to hurt anyone and make her learn how to control her powers while keeping everyone safe. But he is the jerk here right? Am I understanding correctly?

7. FP Spoilers (Ep 200) //This was such a waste of an episode. Basically it just confirms all of the whole fertility nonsense that's been talked about for several episodes now, like we know that??? I feel like nothing happened in this episode. Just a waste.

8. Have you seen now LO fans are blaming KRONOS for all of Hades actions? I honestly wouldn't be shocked if Rachel did that, she would rather HxP be mindless puppets to far more interesting characters than actually, you know, have personality and flaws. Why write characters at this point? They're just paper dolls at this point.

9. Rachel can you bring back the random narrator you had in the Daphne episode because I don't know what's going on and you need some omnipresent voice to try and make sense of it.

10. Remember kids, Rachel claimed Ares and Aphrodite is her “second favorite ship” and she butchered them for the sake of her neon pink self insert and her Mads dyed blue rip off. Either she’s lying or she truly is that bad of writer that she can’t make anything NOT about her DDLG kink ship. Regardless, this is shockingly bad writing and it’s weird we’re supposed to find it good over mindnumbingly confusing and lackluster.

[fortheloveofdeaddove]

TMC rambles

If you're reading TMC and are interested in insights and potential spoilers from the author, I've decided to start doing some character and story analysis on this blog. I'm a pantser who only sparingly uses outlines, so I may talk about something in a post that doesn't actually turn out that way later in the fic. Likewise, I might straight up spoil the fic in these write ups, so proceed with caution.

I received the most amazing feedback on The Magnificent Centuries yesterday, and I will probably be on cloud 9 just from that for the next several years. I can only wish that every fanfic author can experience that. Seriously I squee'd and squealed and laughed and teared up a bit. It helped me move past the little block I had going about TMC too. I'm so grateful <3

I am anxious over some things I forgot to ask the artist to include in the commission. I might end up with a beardless Dis, and Bilbo won't be wearing the ring I wanted him to. But that's entirely my fault, and the fault of my anxiety for not wanting to follow up and inconvenience the artist. Since I didn't point it out in the draft phase, I don't feel right pointing it out afterwards. But I'm so excited nonetheless, and I know in the future I can commission them to update the art if I want to.

I'm introducing Dale and the Bowman family in this next chapter, as well as Thranduil and Gandalf proper. This is honestly where I begin to feel a little squeamish - not about the content itself, but how it will be received. The Hobbit fandom is INCREDIBLY vanilla right now, and there's still a strong undercurrent of purity culture going on.

If you think a smut fic that includes perfect BDSM etiquette isn't purity culture, allow me to disavow you of that notion. It isn't JUST purity wank, btw. It's someone's earnest artistic expression and I don't begrudge it on that point. What it shouldn't be is, like, a boundary. A standard. A 'this-is-the-line-don't-cross-it' kinda thing. This fic doesn't just cross that line, it spits on it, stomps on it, and a few other unspeakable things.

If you thought what happened with Belladonna was the WORST that was going to happen, well.... sorry. Tilda, who is approx 14, will enter an arranged marriage with Fili. In my original imaginings, it's actually not that bad between them. Fili is decent. They develop a respectful friendship where Tilda is allowed to really come into her own as a force in the kingdom. Who is NOT decent by that point in the story is Thorin, and I was directly inspired by Book_of_Kells' work on Ao3 I can't seem to find anymore. It was an anthology, pretty sure, and it was a Dark Fuck King primae noctis situation where by law, Thorin was required to take the virginity of the crown prince's wife. It was dub-con/non-con and sexy as hell. Wish I could directly link it or find it.

That's pretty intense. Then there's the story line I've concocted about Bard and Sigrid, because why wouldn't Bard arrange a marriage for his older daughter? Well, I did say this fic had more incest than anyone asked for. >_>

Let's just say Bain is the only normal one in the family.

I'm kinda struggling with parsing out character traits from the show this is inspired by. I need an Ibrahim-figure, but my personal line in the sand is making anyone from the company evil. That, sir, is offensive. So that means I need an OC (I need a lot of OC's who the fuck am I kidding) and that sure as heck is a daunting thing to consider. In my fanfiction career spanning 20 some years, I don't think I've ever written a solid OC. Maybe I'm wrong, but I just don't feel very confident about that. That's not gonna stop me by any means and anyone reading will have to suffer my mediocre OC's. And that's okay.

I strongly desire to put together a smut fic rec list from The Old Days. I just need the time to dig all these fics up. I am so sad I can't find Books_of_Kells fic. That's okay - it's receiving a little tribute from me regardless!

[scarsmood]

Stockholm syndrome

Tw: physical, verbal, emotional abuse

I feel like the term stockholm syndrome is often misunderstood or not represented well in media. Some similar terms to stockholm syndrome are battered wife syndrome and betrayal bonding.

In the book The Betrayal Bond breaking free of explotive relationships by Patrick J. Carnes. Betrayal bonds are defined as a self abandonment, when you go through a betrayal so painful a part of you dies. Yet you can only think about how to survive instead of grieve you abandon yourself unaware. Typically attempts to numbing come first so you can keep your highly addictive attachment. Similar to drug use. These attachments affect your judgements and actions when you try to better yourself it seems to go nowhere. In a frustrating spiral you are set to run in circles. When these tactics fail it’s time to face the truth. That realization may never come for some.

An exploitive relationship is the ground work for a betrayal bond. “These occur when a vicitim bonds with someone who is destructive to him or her. Thus the hostage becomes the champion of the hostage taker, the incest vicitim covers for the parents and the exploited employee fails to expose the wrongdoing of the boss.”

Often what I see in media is a small, sad, scared person visibly beaten as the vicitm in stockholm syndrome. Killing stalking is a great example. Where the victim is seen as voiceless, helpless and completely undone. In some aspects this is true but it isn’t the full picture I would argue. Typically whats more common is two strong people enter into a toxic relationship. The trauma from this relationship lays the ground work for a betrayal bond. The victim is still strong they (from my experience) instead recontextualize their own strength to specifically benefit their abuser. Often slowly over time eroding your own concept of self until what you define as “you” is nothing left but a tool.

“Loyalty to that which does not work, or worse, to a person who is toxic, exploitive or destructive to you, is a form of insanity”

Carnes details what a betrayal bond looks like:

When everyone around you has strong negative reactions, yet you continue covering up, defending or explaining the relationship

When there is a constant pattern of non-performance and yet you continue to believe false promises

When there are repetitive, destructive fights that nobody wins

When others are horrified by something that has happened to you and you are not

When you obsess over showing someone that he or she is wrong about you, your relationship or the person’s treatment of you

When you feel stuck because you know what the other person is doing is destructive but believe you cannot do anything about it

When you feel loyal to someone even though harbor secrets that are damaging to others

When you move closer to someone you know is destructive to you with the desire of converting them to a non-abuser

When someones talents, charisma or contributions cause you to overlook destructive, exploitive or degrading acts

When you cannot detach from someone even though you do not trust, like or care for the person

When you find yourself missing a relationship, even to the point of nostalgia and longing, that was so awful it almost destroyed you

When extraordinary demands are placed upon you to measure up as a way to cover up that you’ve been exploited

When you keep secret someone’s destructive behaviour toward you because of all the good they have done or importance of their position or career

When the history of your relationship is about contracts or promises that have been broken and that you are asked to overlook.

The important part, You will never mend the wound without dealing with the betrayal bond

“Like gravity, you may defy it for a while, but ultimately it will pull you back. You cannot walk away from it. Time will not heal it. Burying yourself in compulsive and addictive behaviours will bring no relief, just more pain. No amount of therapy, long-term or short-term, will help without confronting it.

Your ability to have a spiritual experience will be impaired. Any form of conversation or starting over only postpones the inevitable. And there is no credit for feeling sorry for yourself. You must acknowledge, understand and come to terms with the relationship”

These bonds are at an intensity I don’t think most people fully understand when hearing about stockholm sydrome. What frustrates me when I look at media is how when I see portrayls it never shows the “other” methods of handling stockholm sydrome. The common trope I see is the victim completely succumsbs to the madness and becomes complacent forever. This doesn’t always happen though. If I could guess I’d say this usually never happens.

The issue with this concept is that the victim has given aware their self. Something that is extremely painful and torturous in order to be the person the abuser wants them to be. This makes it sound like one action. In my experience every action was a choice between myself and being a tool. Which makes that portrayal of stockholm syndrome feel wildly inaccurate to me. It isn’t one action and then a whistful sleep in a trance like state.

It is a constant battle between uprooting your own rights morals and actions or fighting for them. In consequence being beaten, abused, killed, drugged, what have you. Every single action is seen as a possible act of defiance. There is no whistful sleep, there is no numbling that can muffle the pain forever. No amount of dissociation can hide what is actually happening. What’s scary is you know it’s happening the entire time. Because your the one making those choices. You watch yourself slowly degrade because you want to be safe.

There is a lot of truth in watching a part of you die with no time to grieve. Grieving would abmit the abandonment of the relationship has taken a toll that the abuse has actually effected you. Instead opting to please the abuser and never coming back to those emotions leaving them in a corner to fester.

It’s not a good idea. Typically what I see the most what I hear from other survivors is what comes next. What the typical end is. Is anger.

When you cant play the game for your abuser anymore. You suddenly want yourself back so strongly you don’t care what the cost is. When you learn enough about your abuser their threats become trivial. Because you learn how to negate them. I distinctly remeber the anger I felt when I “flipped” I woke up suddenly at 3am and looked over to my abuser sleeping at the other end of the bed. Often. I’d sleep at the end of the bed like a dog to stay away from them.

I felt a strong m-shift mixing with all those buried dead emotions bubble up and I realized this was a game I couldn’t win. I attacked him while he was asleep. He had to throw me into a wall to finally stop me. He was shocked. I had never fought that hard, I had never attacked him when he was sleeping, I had never done so many new things all at once it legitimately scared him and his control over me.

I remember passing out from the fight. I never ate I barely had enough energy to stay away and lay on a bed all day. I was starving comstantly. But I wanted that feeling forever. That freedom. That taste of independence. I no longer cared if it killed me. I wanted it. I didn’t care how.

It took a year of violently fighting back. Refusing actions, getting angry at manipulation, constantly putting up a fight for him to give up. Leave. I had done it. I had finally done it. I was free.

I think that catharsis stays with me. But when I read about stockholm syndrome they never portray the victim that leaves. They portray the one that stays. It’s upsetting and insulting. I want to see the victim who kills their abuser, the one that hunts them down and finishes what they started. As so many victims do. Whether thats emotionally or physically. I don’t blame them.

Still the book is right without confrontation things never get settled. The relationship will stay alive as long as its kept alive. Without facing it you are doomed to endlessly run from it. A terrifying prospect. All we can do is free ourselves no matter how long that takes.

Victims aren’t so weak often they’re far smarter than their abuser. Working with what’s available to make ends meet. I’d like to see that representation of the conplacent but planning. The kind until they snap. The silently leaving st the dead of night when they know they can’t be caught. I wish it was more commonly highlighted how intense and courageous these acts are. Escaping death is no easy feat.

[teslacoils-and-hubris]

I'm gonna be honest the part about them being a proshipper wasn't supposed to be the focus of the ask, but rather them being years-long friends with a notorious racist. many people enter the tf/2 fandom not knowing a sizeable chunk of the fan base came from 4/chan and continue to behave like they do. that said, your focusing on the definition of proshipper makes me very nervous.. and I'm not sure what to do about that. I haven't seen anyone take issue with it as a term, as most people very well know it's a word for people who romanticize/fetishize pedophilia, rape, incest, bestiality, and abuse. I'm not sure at all what one could take issue with regarding such, so you may understand now why it made me very nervous.

Ok that's fair, i focused in on a different part of the ask because they were seemingly given the same weight, but you're right I shouldn't have just not mentioned that part, yeah being friends with a known racist sucks

Let me be very clear with where I stand: glorifying sexual abuse of any kind is bad. Full stop. I feel like I made that clear in my answer, but if not then I'm making it clear here. It's bad, obviously, as you said there isn't much to disagree on on that point

My specific.... I guess issue is the wrong word, I don't know how to phrase this specifically. A lot of the anti people seem to argue that any kind of depiction instantly means glorification. That books like Lolita are glorifying what they depict and you should be canceled for reading them when they're very clearly showing how shitty the child grooming protagonist is.

I dont know what else to say, I deleted the post and I'd really rather this not become a huge thing. I won't have wifi for a while so if I don't answer asks that'd why

[spnangelbang]

hello I’m just asking because I read the document and found it a bit too vague, but are you permitting incestuous or similar content? Im not looking to apply, rather just follow/support, but wouldn’t be comfortable with that content so I’d just like to know in advance if I need to avoid! Thank you

Hello!

Sorry it took a little while to respond - the moderation team had a detailed discussion yesterday on the issue of allowed ships, along with related issues of consent which come up with SPN's canonical treatment of angel vessels (as well as demonic possession). 

The short answer to your question: no ships are outright banned from the event, but all ships must be fully disclosed when reaching out to any registered beta-readers, and to artists during art claims.

As originally stated, the primary ship in any story (if it is a ship-focused fic vs. a gen fic) must include at least one angel. People have differing views on whether angel/angel relationships count as incestuous or not, but as long as they are fully disclosed, they are allowed for this bang. The same disclosure rule applies for any secondary, background or briefly-mentioned ships, whether involving angels, humans, demons, monsters, or any combination thereof.

We are, at this time, clarifying/expanding the rules on some points due to the potential complexities of angel vessels and possession:

Any character shown or involved in a sexual situation must be over the age of 16—no underage fic or art. (The rules already said "no minors in sexual situations,” this is just to be more precise on where that line is drawn.)

When reaching out to registered beta-readers and during art claims, authors must disclose ALL content that would require a warning—both the required AO3 warnings and other sensitive topics determined by the mod team (so: rape/non-con, major character death, graphic depictions of violence, along with: vessel consent issues, child abuse, incest.) The mods may require additional warnings be added for art claims after reviewing writers’ submissions to make sure artists have full understanding of what they would be potentially working on if they select a given story. (When eventually posting to AO3, authors may use the "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings" at that time if they choose.)

If any angel or demon is possessing a vessel/human other than the primary one(s) shown on screen, that also must be disclosed during claims and when contacting registered betas, especially if the angel is involved in any sexual or romantic situations (for instance, Michael possessing John Winchester instead of Adam Milligan as only briefly seen on screen, Cas possessing Claire Novak, or an angel possessing any original/newly added character.)

As has been in the rules from the start, participants must stick to engaging with age-appropriate content. Only 18+ authors, artists and betas can collaborate on any M or E-rated materials and anyone found in violation of this will be removed from the event.

To the anon who originally asked and anyone who may be disappointed/unsatisfied with these rules: We understand if you do not feel comfortable participating or supporting the event. For the mod team this is the approach which seemed the fairest to all, and I do thank you for bringing up the matter. These were some points we had not considered needing to take into account (given, perhaps, my single minded angel focus and enthusiasm) and with all the various “what ifs” and scenarios that came up in our discussion, relying on full disclosure seemed to be the best approach.