#if it wasn’t so late I’d text my roommates now

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

Butter successfully softened by leaving it on top of the hot dishwasher and I’m like cool! I can start. Realized my pan I have specifically for this dessert is not here. It was left at college

[euaphoric]

AFTERGLOW

✩‧₊˚ pairing — roommate!jk x f!reader

✩‧₊˚ warnings — fluff, sm*t, v small mention of “sl-tshaming” (not from jk tho), jk is WHIPPED, overst*m, multiple organisms, f*ngering, eating out, spanky spanky

you & jungkook have a heart to heart conversation expressing your dating troubles but end up realizing you might actually be perfect for each other instead.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

“it’s like…everyone’s so fucking boring nowadays.” jungkook rambles on as he takes another sip of his wine. “i just can’t find the right one that matches my vibe.”

you nod, “i feel. literally every guy i talk to is lame as hell, they always rather stay in and watch movies than go on an actual date, which is fine sometimes…but all the time? hard pass.”

it’s 2 am on a saturday night and neither of you had anything to do, you proposed going out clubbing but jungkook wasn’t in the mood for that kinda night. he was more of a laid-back, chill type of guy while you were always out late partying and coming home with a new guy every weekend. it’s not like jungkook didn’t have girls (or guys) over either, he was just more discreet about it and made sure you were gone whenever he brought anyone over. he felt like he wouldn’t be able to face you again if you ever heard what he was doing.

“that’s ‘cause they’re just trying to fuck, oldest trick in the book y/n.” jungkook chuckles as you lightly smack his arm. “what— it’s the truth! any guy would wanna get in your pants.”

well, maybe that explains why you’re always getting texts at 2-3 am asking to “come chill” even though you know how it’s going to end and you fall for it every. single. time. maybe that’s why your last hookup called you “for the team” to all his friends, you fucked on the first “date” but only because he showed you cute pics of animals he rescued (curse you for being such a softie). but generally, it didn’t take much for you to want to sleep with someone because you had sexual needs just like everyone else, except you were a girl and that wasn’t very “ladylike” of you. that didn’t stop you from actively seeking potential sex partners though.

“ugh, don’t say that! i’m just more of a lowkey person..i don’t mind netflix dates but damn, ya girl could really use some wining and dining once in a while.” you express frustratedly. it’s been a while since you’ve been taken somewhere nice and the thought of someone planning a cute outing together made you yearn for a relationship even more.

jungkook’s brows lift in confusion, “do i not already do that for you every day?”

he’s constantly cooking for you, soon as you wake up breakfast is made with your favorite—pancakes and fluffy scrambled eggs! he’d also cook you dinner once you got home from an exhausting day of work, he was the perfect roommate you could’ve ever stumbled upon.

“you do— but that’s different..” your voice trails off, thinking of any excuse as to why but you couldn’t put a finger on it.

“how? am i only your maid that cooks and cleans for you? not worthy of anything else?” he pouts dramatically, of course he’d get offended by something so little.

“koo don’t do this right now, you know i appreciate you and your sweet gestures all the time.” sighing as you sink further into the couch, you decide to spill more about your not so eventful sex life. “it seems like most guys only care about getting their nut then dipping, i barely finish if it at all after.” you realize how embarrassing that sounds to admit but you had to confess this to someone, you don’t even know why you continue to torment yourself with this kind of treatment.

jungkook shakes his head in disbelief, appalled at the sad truth of your current dilemma. he too however, faced a similar issue at hand. he can’t seem to find a girl that’ll keep up with his crazy high sex drive. “that sounds truly awful, what the fuck? i’d have you on orgasm number five just from my fingers alone.”

holy shit, did he really just say that? the wine is most definitely getting to him now. the room got real quiet for a second.

“y-you would?” you ask innocently, batting your lashes at him.

he wanted to retract his statements out of embarrassment but you didn’t look put off by his advances at all, instead intrigued. his cheeks turned rosier, very unexpected of you to put him on the spot like that but he was the one who opened pandora’s box to begin with. “i mean… yeah? why wouldn’t i?” he replied, biting his lip as he gauges your reaction to see if what he said was okay. “i’m more of a giver than receiver anyway, i love giving head it’s my specialty. i’ll leave you with that afterglow if you let me babe.”

well now you were going to have to find out, you can’t just let him make such bold claims like that without having the proof to back it up first. you’ve always found your roommate extremely hot but you never tried anything out of respect for his boundaries, he did the same but his urges to make a move on you kept growing as you complained more and more about your past experiences—he wanted to show you how it was really done.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

jungkook was determined in making sure you have a great time. your pretty body splayed under him with your backside facing upward, giving him the view of a lifetime. “fuck…” he curses under his breath, his long tatted digits sinking into your dripping core, greedily taking all of him in. you muffle the sounds of your moans by covering your mouth, you had a habit of doing so since you didn’t want to wake jungkook whenever he was sleeping while you were getting it on.

“c’mon you don’t gotta be shy babe, be as loud as you want with me.” he husks, giving a spank to your left cheek leaving a visibly red handprint. hands sliding up the curves of your body, caressing you as he pumps his fingers deeper. “mmh.. fuck— koo keep going.” whimpering out pathetically as walls clench around him. he adds another digit to the mix, watching them disappear in your cunt while looking at your perfectly round, plump ass. never in a million years would he think he’d be doing this to his roommate of all people.

you felt a knot tying in your stomach from the pleasure, grabbing onto the leather couch tightly—feeling yourself getting close already. “sound so pretty when you moan, don’t stop.” he encourages sweetly, “i’m making you feel good aren’t i?” sounded more like a statement rather than a question.

“y-yes, think i’m gonna cu— oh fuck!” eyes roll to the back of your head as feel yourself come undone on jungkook’s fingers, creaming all over them as he continues fingering you, thumb swiping harshly over your clit to help ride out your high. the overstimulation was too much to handle for you, bratty whines escaping your lips as you just couldn’t take anymore. “on your back now.” he orders, producing another spank to your rear, you squeal from the contact but get up and lye on your back as he told you to do.

“open.” jungkook groans impatiently for you, slipping his fingers coated with your milky essence. you suck them off one by one, getting a taste of yourself while looking directly in his eyes. god…you were going to be the death of him.

“mmm..so fuckin’ hot babe.” he smirks, planting a soft kiss to your lips to get a taste on your tongue. he needed to have more of you. kissing down your chin, neck, collarbone, chest, all the day down to your navel—faint blotches of red appear on the bruised skin; creating a beautiful masterpiece on your body. more kisses are pressed into your soaked inner thighs, trailing his lips up to your entrance as he licks his lips before he begins feasting. “don’t hold back on me baby, be as rough as you want.” he coos, lowering his head to flatten his tongue, licking a long slow stripe against your throbbing slit.

“shit!” you almost cry from how good he feels against you already, bucking your hips into his mouth as he sucks on your puffy bundle of nerves. eyes looking up at you fiercely while he watches you shake and writhe under him. “so good, so goood. just like that, don’t stop please!” you continued grinding your core on his face, making a leaky mess all over him. he could care less though, he’ll happily drown in your juices any day.

his fingers return back inside for extra stimulation but you end up crying out more, the feeling has your head spinning intensely. you don’t know how much more you can possibly take but you firmly pull on his hair for leverage, tightly tugging it not caring if it hurts since he said not to hold back. his free hand caresses your thigh gently, flicking his tongue rapidly on your clit and lapping up your wetness, you taste like a dream.

“oh my god…” you mewl slightly above a whisper, you suddenly forgot how to use your voice. his mouth was making you feel more than amazing, better than anything you’ve felt before. you feel bad for all the guys you fucked in the past because they definitely won’t be getting a call back from you now.

“taste so sweet angel,” he mutters before shortly going back to what he was doing, “mmmm…” he hums against you and the vibrations leave you shuddering. another orgasm erupts out of you as you scream his name louder, spasming and shaking under his touch. this time your release squirts out onto his tongue, licking up every drop, even the left over excess on your thighs.

he presses a kiss to your abused clit, lightly dragging a finger over it to rub in circles, making it swell up again. “p-please koo, no more… n-no more.” you whine again and again but he just pretends not to hear you. he’s not going to stop until he’s completely satisfied with the end result. the end result being you looking a total fucked-out mess. “shut up. stop talking.” his eyes give you a menacing glare. you don’t utter another word, you wouldn’t dare test him right now.

he slings your leg over his shoulder and pushes you in closer, teasing your sensitive entrance while curling his fingers inside, he could do this all day if you’d let him. your breath shortens, digging your nails deeper into his skin from the bliss you feel— you were overly sensitive and felt another one nearing your way. he wasn’t even using his tongue on you anymore, he was just so good with his fingers alone it was enough to have you squirting all over him.

and you did just that, again. “that’s right baby, cum all over my fingers like a good girl.” he praises, feeling the tightness of you wrap around him. your body was so numb. panting, moaning, vision getting blurry as you coat his inked digits with your cream for the third time in a row. he pulls them out slowly, letting you drip all over the couch, chuckling with endearment of you. it almost didn’t feel real with the way he was making you cum so easily for him. he had a natural talent at this it seems. you felt weightless, as light as air in his touch, a radiant beam of ecstasy lingers within you.

“that was…incredible.” you gush, ruffling his already disheveled hair, “i haven’t felt like this in a really long time.”

jungkook kept smirking; boy you were in for so much more tonight. “mm..relax gorgeous, ’m not even close to being done with you just yet. gonna have everyone know who’s my name once we’re finished.”

@genkima @sweet-sourhotcoco ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

[yuta-nation]

summary: you misdial when trying to reach your brother. it all works out in the end

content: sfw. alcohol and police mentions.

wc: .7k

a/n: happy 2024!

“Hey, can you pick me up?” You asked into the phone as you shrugged on your coat. Your roommate had dragged you to a house party for New Year’s but she was occupied with beer pong and ignored your pleas to leave before sunrise. She obviously didn’t hear the sirens quickly approaching the neighborhood, a telltale sign that the party was about to be shut down. At this point, she could get arrested for all you cared. You were glad that your lease was up at the end of January, you didn’t want to spend 2024 living with that bitch.  Tonight had majorly sucked, and you just wanted to take off your makeup and sleep.

“Uh, yeah, I can. Did Yuji not answer? He was pretty sloshed when we got home,” a voice that definitely did not belong to your older brother responded. You immediately knew what happened. You had typed “Yu” into your contacts and selected the second option instead of the first. You were talking to your brother’s roommate, Yuta, instead of your brother, Yuji. This wasn’t the first time you had called the other man by mistake when trying to reach your brother; it happened at least once a month. Yuta was always nice about it, and usually with Yuji anyway, passing him the phone for you to give your brother whatever message you had. But still, you were embarrassed to have called him so late just to ask for a favor your brother should fulfill. But it sounded like Yuji was in no condition to drive.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, he didn’t answer, and the cops are about to show up at this party.”

“Oh shit. Text me the address, I’m putting my shoes on now.”

“Thank you so much, Yuta.” 

“It’s no problem.”

Seven minutes later, Yuta pulled up in front of where you sat on the curb, watching the red and blue lights flash around the house you were just in. You got in quickly to escape the cold, thankful that he already had the heat full blast.

“T-thank you!” you said through chattering teeth.

“You’re welcome. Let’s get you home.”

“Actually, can I sleep on the couch at your guys’ place? I’m not happy with my roommate right now,” you asked as you hovered your hands over the vents to thaw your fingers.

“That’s fine with me. Happy New Year, by the way.”

“It’s off to a rocky start. I can’t wait to move.”

“Yeah, your roommate sounds like a character. Did you have any fun tonight?”

“No, I didn’t even finish one drink, some guy knocked into me and spilled it on my shoes.”

“Ahh, that’s why I smell strawberries.”

“And my ex was there too, sucking face with his new girlfriend at midnight. I didn’t even get a New Year’s kiss.”

“Damn, I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to make the rest of the year better?”

“Find me a new boyfriend and ensure my roommate can’t make bail,” you said bitterly, crossing your now warm arms over your chest and looking out the window.

“I don’t know if the bail thing is within my power, but I do know a guy or two better than your ex.”

“I’m just joking, mostly. Who needs a boyfriend when I have you, Yuta?” you teased, tapping your head against his shoulder as he pulled into his driveway. 

He put the car in park, and you were unbuckling your seat when he spoke again.

“It’s a little late, but I can still give you one if you want.”

“One what?”

“A New Year’s kiss,” he said softly. You turned to look at him to decipher whether or not he was being serious. It was dark, and his face was only illuminated by the street and dashboard lights. But you could see his eyes, and in them, you could make out earnest anxiety and hope. 

“Yeah, I’d like that,” you responded with a small smile. 

Yuta returned your smile before leaning in and connecting your lips with his. The kiss was simple, a little shy, and exceedingly sweet. He cradled your face in his large hands like you were a precious gem, and his lips moved gently against yours. Too soon for your liking, he pulled away to look at you. He was beaming as he whispered against your lips.

“I’ve been wanting to do that all year.”

“You’re not even funny. Kiss me again.” He happily obliged, and your lips met once more before you heard the yelling.

“BRO ARE YOU KISSING MY SISTER? TURN YOUR FUCKING HEADLIGHTS OFF! BOTH OF YOU, IN THE HOUSE NOW!”

2024 was off to an interesting start.

© YUTA-NATION 2023. DO NOT COPY, REPOST, SHARE, TRANSLATE, REUPLOAD, OR CLAIM MY WORKS AS YOUR OWN ON ANY OTHER SITE.

[lainiespicewrites]

Someone to take her home

Hey guys so I wrote this a while ago! This is a Henry one shot it an OFC because I'll die on the self insert hill! LOL it gives me so much comfort. Is that weird IDK. Anyway this story is kind of heavy. I wrote this to get out some feelings about an SA that I had experienced. I've always been someone that if I'm stressed I rewrite the situation with a comforting outcome or a better outcome to release the stress or make myself feel better. I wanted to sort of write myself a way to get some comfort from the trauma. And I hope having a character like this sweet soft version of Henry may help some of you too. I never reached out for myself for help and maybe I should have but if you experienced something please talk to someone. If you need someone to talk to or just want a place to let it out my DM's are a safe space <3 Just as disclaimer this doesn't mention any of the actual situation that happened to me. Just a filler to get out the emotion. Still this is a fluff with lots of love and sweet gentle young Henry bc I just know in my soul this was and is how he is as a person!

Warnings: Light Cursing, Trauma, Mentions of sexual assault. (Please reach out for help even if it's just talking to someone about your situation. My DM's are open if y'all wanna talk after this <3)

Description: OFC goes to college party and meets Henry and they become fast friends. and he helps her when things turn bad with a guy he warned her about.

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I stared at myself in the mirror one more time. I needed to leave soon. If I looked any longer I would find something I hated and talk myself out of going. So I grabbed my bag and turned off my bedroom light. Nervous didn’t begin to describe how I was feeling. I’d never been to a party like this before. Sure I’d been out a few times in high school. But it was usually theater cast parties. And one time my friend and I stole some captain morgan from her parents liquor cabinet. But this was on an entirely different scale. 

Most of my drinking was a night in with the girls with wine or movie night drinking games. God I sound so boring. It’s not that I don’t enjoy partying. I was genuinely excited to be invited out tonight. Lilly and I had worked together for a few assignments in class. And we would say hi when we ran into each other in the dorms. But, I never expected to get a text this afternoon inviting me to her boyfriend's party. Purdue was an incredibly large campus. Upwards of 40,000 plus students. Yet somehow Lilly’s boyfriend Riley Hardesty seemed to know everyone. He was known for throwing huge parties all year. They weren’t exclusive. You could just be driving through the neighborhood and stop in.  But she told me a friend of  Riley’s had asked her about me. 

Matt Parker. I know of him. He’s in my English 204 lecture. But we’ve never talked. But he is really attractive. So maybe something good would come from all of this! I decided just to walk as my dorm wasn’t far from the house Riley and his roommates lived in. It was a cool night in mid october and I was definitely regretting the little black denim skirt I was wearing. I was smart enough to wear a cardigan but it was still cold. Thank God it's only 2 blocks down. I bit my lip nervously. Am I even going to know anyone here? Anyone I actually talk to? It’s too late now. I already got dressed and ready. I walked here. I have to go through with this. 

I took a deep breath and walked inside. Things were already full swing. I could hear the music outside before I even opened the door. No one seemed to notice me and honestly I was okay with that. I looked around scanning the room. Almost everyone had a drink in hand, standing around in groups talking. The smell of  pot hit me immediately as I started to walk through the house. I wasn’t  the least bit surprised. I made my way to the kitchen where I found multiple drinks, alcohol and mixers available. I kept it simple and grabbed a wine cooler. Something fruity. I was definitely going to need a buzz if I was going to be here longer than 5 minutes.

 I pushed my way out of the kitchen and found a quiet corner to drink and observe for a while. I was busy listening to some guys talk about last weekend's football game when I heard someone’s voice. And I realized they were talking to me. I shifted my eyes seeing a guy standing next to me. He was maybe 6’1, blue eyes, and brown hair with soft curls. I gave him a gentle smile,

“I’m sorry, what was that?” I asked. He smiled and chuckled softly. His smile was beautiful. 

“I uh, Just noticed your shirt. Are you a Def Leppard fan?” He asked. I looked down. I completely forgot that was the shirt I was wearing. I just thought a band t-shirt would look cute with the skirt. But

“Yeah! Well I know a few of their songs! My Mom was in her 20’s in the 80’s and she loved them!” I said. 

“She has good taste! They’re awesome! Are you here by yourself? Not trying to be creepy I just noticed you were by yourself over here and I wanted to make sure you were alright,” He rambled. I nodded.

“I look that out of place huh? Yeah, I um. I’m friends with Riley’s girlfriend. Well not friends necessarily. But I know her. Anyway she invited me because of some friend of Riley’s but I don’t know this isn’t normally my scene. Wow that was a lot,” I blushed. “Sorry,” I mumbled. 

“For?” He smiled, raising an eyebrow. “We’re talking. I like getting to know people! And I totally get it. This can kind of be a lot sometimes. I actually came with some friends but I needed to step away from all the crazy for a second. I’m Henry by the way.” He smiled, extending his hand. I took it and He squeezed mine softly. 

“Alayna!” I said. 

“It’s nice to meet you!” He smiled. “Which one of Riley’s friends? If you don't mind me asking,” He raised an eyebrow. 

“Matt Parker,” I said bluntly. “You know him,” Henry took a sip of his beer and nodded. 

“I do, He’s alright. We’re sort of friends I suppose. He may have good intentions. Listen, I know you don’t need my advice, but just be careful around him. I don’t know what you were expecting with him or hoping for. But he can be a little, well, if I had a daughter I wouldn’t trust him with her. But I could be wrong. I’m sorry, that was a bit much. I don't want to ruin your evening,” He said. 

“For?” I smirked copying his face from earlier. “You seem to have pure intentions. Just looking out for someone. That’s really kind of you actually. I honestly don't know what I was expecting. But I can handle myself. I didn’t really come out tonight for him. I wanted to actually let loose and have fun for once. I’ve been trying to have more adventures, meet new people, make new friends.” I smiled looking him in the eyes on that last part. He gave me a big smile and held out his beer bottle to cheers me. 

“To new friends,” He spoke and we clinked our bottles together. “I like you, I mean talking to you.” He said. 

“I like talking to you too! I was honestly super anxious about coming tonight. I was worried I’d be too anxious and awkward to have fun or it would be too much. Because this is a lot. I’m 100% sure I saw someone do coke off the kitchen counter. But I’m actually enjoying myself. Right now anyway.” I laughed. Henry chuckled. 

“Good! Well, I’m going to go find my friends but, what's your number? I’ll send you a text real quick and if you get overwhelmed or uncomfortable  or need to escape all of this for a bit come find me! Or text me. I’d be happy to be there for you.  And we can just chill out for a while.” I smiled and gave him my phone number. It was nice to meet someone as kind as Henry. You don’t meet a lot of people that… genuine and gentlemanly in places like this. He gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze before he walked off to find his friends. I wandered off to get another drink while I was standing in the kitchen waiting to grab another wine cooler. I felt someone lay their arm across my shoulder. 

“Hey gorgeous,” I recognized Matt’s voice. I gave him a soft smile. 

“Hi,” I spoke. 

“I’m glad you came tonight, You having a good time,” He asked, clearly buzzed. 

“Yeah,” I said tentatively “One hell of a party!” I laughed. 

“For sure!” He smiled and moved to the side of me taking his arm off my shoulder. “What are you drinking babe?” He asked. 

“Just Mike's lemonade.” I chuckled awkwardly. 

“Aw come on girl you can do something stronger than that huh?” He joked. I shook my head.

“I probably could but I’d rather not get sick.” I said. 

“Aw well come on at least do a shot with me?” He asked, giving me a puppy dog face and pouting. “Just tequila, we got training wheels!” He added. 

“I don’t know… I don’t wanna get too crazy,” I said. 

“Nah, it’ll be alright, it’ll just loosen you up a bit!” He spoke already pouring the shots. He slid one over to me. And a piece of lime. “Ready?” I picked up the shot and stared at it questioningly. 

“Alright,” He smiled. We clicked the glasses and hit them against the table before taking the shot. It was super bitter. I immediately followed it with the lime. But it didn’t help much. When I looked up again Matt had gotten me another Mike’s from the cooler.

“Atta girl!” He smirked. He took a step closer and I took the drink from him. Then I heard someone call his name from across the house. They were starting another game of beer pong. “That’s my que babe, but wait for me yeah? I’ll come back to you after this game!” He smirked and left a wet kiss on my cheek before running off to join the boys. 

Charming is certainly not a word I would use to describe him. But he’s nice. And he’s just trying to make sure I have fun. There’s no harm in that. I wandered around the party again. I opened up my new bottle and tossed the cap on a nearby coffee table. I thought about watching the beer pong game but I honestly wasn’t interested. I found the door leading to the backyard and saw there was a bonfire going. I stepped outside and found an empty seat by the fire. I watched it crackle for a bit and took a long sip of my drink. I felt a warmth inside me and knew it was coming from the alcohol. I started to relax as I listened to the fire and the white noise of the people chatting around me. It was a gorgeous night.

“Hey!” I heard a voice from behind me. “Funny meeting you out here!” Henry spoke, pulling up a chair next to me.

“Hey!” I said excitedly. “It’s calm out here. I like it!” I said. Henry smiled. 

“I do too, I love a good fire. Fuels the soul.” He half joked. 

“ I love the smell! Is that weird?” I laughed. 

“No,” He chuckled softly “Not at all! So, besides the band on that very cool shirt, What other music do you like?” Henry asked, leaning back in his chair and taking a long swig of his beer. 

“Oh all kinds. I’m a big lover of the stuff from the 70s though! Elton John, Heart, the Beatles, I guess they’re technically 60’s. I know it’s kind of old school but. I feel like they just don’t make music like that anymore.” I explained. 

“Classic! I like it,” He smiled. 

“What about you?” I asked. 

“Oh I’m all over the place too. I’m actually a big country fan!” He smirked. 

“I wouldn’t have expected that from you but I respect it. It’s not my favorite genre but there are definitely some good ones there!” I smiled. Henry and I chatted for a while. We talked about our majors. He's a history major. Where we’re from, he has an accent but I didn’t want to ask and be weird about it. He told me he’s from the UK. We talked about books, history and our friends. It was nice. A little while later I felt an arm around my shoulder again. I knew it was Matt. 

“There she is! Did you think I forgot about you babe?” He asked. 

“No,” I smiled blushing softly. He smiled. 

“Hey Henry! Are you having a good time, man?” He asked. Henry nodded and finished his beer. 

“Yeah! Actually I should go get another one. It was nice talking to you Alayna!” He smiled at me before he got up and left. I don’t know why but I could tell Henry wasn’t the biggest fan of Matt. He said they were friends earlier but I think he was just trying to be nice

I was shaken from the thought when I heard Matt’s voice again. 

“Hey, follow me!” He said enthusiastically. 

“Okay,” I smiled. I got up and followed him back inside. He led us upstairs and down the hall to what I assume was his room. 

“Too many people out there, I wanted to be alone with you,” He smiled. 

“That’s really sweet! It is pretty crowded.” I said. 

“Yeah,” He said blankly. “Are you enjoying the party?” He asked. 

“I am,” I said half telling the truth. I enjoyed talking to Henry. 

“God you’re so gorgeous,” He said. “I always want to talk to you in class but you always leave so quickly I never get the chance.” He said. 

“Thank you,” I blushed. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asked. I don’t know if I wanted it or if it was the alcohol but I nodded. He smirked and leaned in kissing me on the lips. It was gentle at first but then he quickly started using tongue. I felt kind of awkward. So I backed away. “Oh sorry, you okay?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” I lied. He just nodded and went back to kissing me. I kissed him back a bit but then I felt him start to feel me up. I froze. I really didn’t want that. He moved his hand under my shirt and I stopped him. 

“Uh Matt, I really don’t know about this.” I said nervously. He pulled back 

“It’s fine, nobody's gonna come in, don't worry about it.” He said and started kissing my neck. Oh god this sucks. 

“No I mean. I don’t… want to do this.” I stuttered. 

“Come on, it’ll be fun babe, it’ll be alright.” He kept feeling me up and continued kissing me. I felt stuck. He pushed himself against me, grinding into me. He moaned. I swallowed hard. Fuck, I really didn’t want this. 

“No, Matt, I really don’t want to.” I said again. 

“Shhh just go with it.” he said, shushing me. “You’ll enjoy it, I promise.” He said, sliding his hand under my skirt and rubbing his fingers against me. 

“No, stop Matt,” I said again, my voice quivering. He was definitely stronger than me. He used his other hand to take himself out of his shorts and he grabbed my hand putting it on him while he kept touching me, forcing his fingers inside. It hurt. I don’t know how but finally I found the strength to push him away from me. He stumbled back and fell against the bed and I ran out of the room. I could feel the tears stinging in my eyes already but I had to get out of this house. I quickly ran down the stairs and out the front door. Matt was pretty drunk so I don’t even think he tried to follow me. I walked a little way down the street and stopped letting out a sob. What the hell just happened. How did I let that happen? How could I have been stupid enough to trust him or follow him? I didn’t know what to do. I probably should have headed back to the dorm but I didn’t want to be alone right now. I took to my phone trying to think of who to talk to. 

I saw I had a text. It was Henry. “Hey it’s me! Henry I mean lol feel free to text me anytime.” I sent him a quick text taking a deep breath and trying to pull myself together. I didn’t want him to see me like this. I was so stupid. He tried to warn me. 

“Hey, it’s Alayna, where are you?” I sent it. To my surprise he responded almost immediately. 

“By the fire, You okay?” it read. 

“Would you wanna go on a walk with me?” I asked. There’s no way I could go back there. 

“Sure :) where are you?” 

“On the front sidewalk like 3 houses down toward campus.” 

“Be right there!” true to his word about 2 minutes later I saw him walking down the sidewalk toward me. 

“How are you?” He asked. 

“Good,” I nodded absentmindedly. 

“Were you leaving?” He asked.

I um,” I stuttered “Yeah, it was just… too much. I was gonna head home. I feel stupid I was just gonna walk home. I'll be fine, I’ll let you have fun. I don’t wanna interrupt your night.” I rambled. 

“No! Please do! I’d be happy to walk you home. Talking with you was the most fun I had tonight actually.” He stated simply. I smiled weakly.

“I’m glad.” I said. 

“Are you alright?” He asked me. I sighed trying not to get emotional. 

“Yeah, just a little overwhelmed and tired.” I lied. We walked in silence for a bit. I couldn’t believe how kind he was. The fact that he would leave his friends to walk me home. He was genuinely concerned about me. That feeling made me even more overwhelmed and finally after everything I could help but start crying. I felt like I had no control over my body as I started to sob. I felt my shoulders start to shake. Henry stopped and put his hands on my shoulders.

“Alayna what's wrong?” He asked me. I tried so hard to speak.

“He wouldn’t.. And I said… no, but he kept…” it all came out in broken sobs. Henry didn’t say anything. He just pulled me into him and hugged me tightly. After a few seconds. I started to calm down and tried to steady my breathing. 

“Shh it’s alright,  just breathe.” I heard him say. I slowed my breathing. “Did he touch you?” He asked gently, trying not to upset me again. I couldn’t speak, I just nodded. Henry went stiff. I looked up and saw his jaw was clenched. “Mother fucker,” He mumbled quietly under his breath. Then he spoke louder “Do you want to go talk to someone? Like report it?” He asked. Again his voice was gentle. I shook my head. 

“I can’t, I know I should but I really can’t, not now.” I said. He nodded. 

“Okay, well let's get you home.” He said. I started to walk again. Henry kept an arm around me as we walked. We were quiet the whole way there. He walked me all the way to the door. Wanting to make sure I got in okay.

“Thank you,” I said. But just as he turned to leave I grabbed his hand. “Wait, please don’t go.” I said, trying not to sound desperate. Not that I had the energy to care. 

“You want me to stay?” he asked. I nodded. 

“Yeah, no, I .. I don’t .. You don’t have to, I’ll be okay.” I said. 

“Hey,” He paused, grabbing my hand. “It’s okay, I don’t mind.” So I took off my shoes and slipped into the bathroom to change into some shorts. I laid in my bed and Henry sat next to me. “Do you want to watch something?” He asked. I nodded. And turned on my TV scrolling aimlessly. I stopped on some old 90’s sitcom. 

“Thank you, for staying,” I said. 

“You shouldn’t be alone right now. And I meant what I said. I had more fun talking to you tonight than with anyone else.” He smiled sympathetically. 

“I did too,” I said.  I sat up going to kiss him but he stopped me.

“Not tonight, darling. Believe me I would love to kiss you. But I think you’ll regret it later if you do this now. I like you. I’m not going anywhere. Let's take this slow. You’ve been through a lot tonight. I’ll still be here when you’re ready. But I think tonight you need to rest.” he said. The universe gave me Henry tonight. If I hadn’t ran into him. I’d have been alone after being sexually assaulted by a guy I barely know. Any other guy wouldn’t have treated me like him. He was so gentle and respectful. He was genuinely looking out for my best interest when he could’ve taken advantage of my vulnerability. I just nodded.

“I’m sorry that was stupid.” I sighed. 

“No, it wasn’t” he put his arm around me pulling me into his side and I naturally rested my head on his chest. “You don’t need to apologize. Try to get some rest.” He spoke gently. I could hear his heartbeat and my breath slowed to match the rhythm. Eventually so did he. I looked up to find him asleep with his arm still around me. I settled in snuggling into his side. All the noise around me slowly faded away and I finally got to rest, falling asleep in Henry’s arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That’s it you guys please let me know what you think. I love you all so much! You’ve shown my writing so much love 🥰

[omgrachwrites]

Over Now - Dalton Lambert

Pairing: Dalton Lambert x Reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, mentions of cheating, ooc Dalton

Prompt: "Did you think of me when you were having sex with her?"

A/N: I'm really not sure how I feel about this! I hope you guys enjoy though, I love you all! xxx

You shivered slightly in the cold as you pulled your jacket tighter around yourself as you and Chris waited for Dalton in the quad. You were slightly worried as to where he could be, he hated being late. He shot you a quick text telling you that he had something to do off campus but that he was still coming.

“Are you sure he’s coming?” Chris asked, turning to face you.

You nodded as you double checked your phone for what felt like the 100th time. There was no text from him to say he wouldn’t be coming. You knew he wouldn’t just bail without telling you. Especially not today.

“He’ll be here,” you insisted.

The truth was, you and Dalton, and Chris were going out for breakfast because you and Dalton were going to come clean about your secret relationship. The two of you had been dating for months now, you had wanted to shout it from the rooftops but Dalton wanted to keep it quiet, just for a little while.

Finally, you saw your boyfriend walk towards you both with an apologetic smile on his face, “I’m so sorry that I’m late, guys!” he apologised as he greeted you. He gave you a hug that lasted a little longer than it needed to, and as he pulled away his smile dropped a little, “did you think that I wouldn’t come?” he frowned when you nodded, “I promised I would.”

You nod again, “yeah, I know, guess I was just a little worried.”

Chris, who had been watching this whole exchange narrowed her eyes at the both of you, “c’mon, I’m starving.”

You and Dalton jumped away from each other, grinning at her guiltily.

The three of you sat in the diner a couple of blocks away from the campus and you ordered your usual breakfast. Dalton laced his fingers through yours underneath the table, giving your hand a squeeze. You glanced at him with a nod, knowing it was time.

Dalton cleared his throat and spoke up, “Chris, there’s something we need to tell you.”

Chris looked between the two of you, a ghost of a smirk on her face, “is it the fact that you guys are together?”

“You knew?” you ask with a gasp.

Chris snorted as she cut into her pancakes, “of course I knew, you guys aren’t exactly subtle, y’know,” she laughed as you and Dalton looked at each other, a flush staining your cheeks, I’m happy for you guys, as long as you don’t gross me out by making out all the time or something.”

Dalton chuckled as he kissed your cheek, you grinned, happy that your best friend had taken the news so well. The three of you spent the whole day together hanging out, it was really nice, you were all so busy with college you didn’t do this as much as you would like.

“Do you wanna stay the night?” you asked Dalton, ignoring Chris’ fake retches.

“I’m sorry baby, I can’t tonight, I have to finish a project for class,” he kissed the pout off your lips.

That night, you decided to order take out and watch a movie, as you went to the foyer to grab your food you were cornered by a girl you recognised from class.

“Hey, you’re Dalton Lambert’s girlfriend, right? I saw you guys together in the diner.”

You nod, “yeah, I’m his girlfriend,” you replied with a smile, “how come?”

The girl took a deep breath, “look, there’s no easy way to tell you this, but he’s cheating on you with Eve, my roommate. She’s in his Art class too.”

You looked at her with wide eyes as you snorted out a laugh, that was the most ridiculous thing you’d ever heard. Your stomach dropped when you realised she wasn’t joking, “he wouldn’t do that.”

“I can prove it.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because, if my boyfriend was cheating on me, I’d want to know,” she smiled at you sadly.

The following day, the girl’s words rang in your head as you went to meet Dalton after class, you were waiting for a little while, your stomach feeling like lead as he walked out of the lecture hall. There was a girl at his side, a beautiful girl with dyed hair and a septum piercing, she looked like the definition of cool art girl. You knew it was Eve without a second glance.

Dalton’s face lit up as he saw you, wrapping an arm around his waist, “hey, you,” he didn’t make any move to kiss you which hurt.

Eve looked between you and Dalton, “I’ll see you later,” she shot him a wave as she walked down the hallway.

Over the next couple of weeks, you almost brought it up a 100 times but you didn’t want to accuse him without proof. Until one day, you got it. The girl who had told you about Eve and Dalton handed you one of his shirts, telling you it had been left in her dorm room. Now, you knew you had to confront him.

You walked into his dorm without knocking and he looked at you in surprise, “baby? I wasn’t expecting you.”

“You left your shirt in Eve’s room,” you spat as you threw it at him.

He looked down at the shirt before he looked back up at you with wounded eyes, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re not going to deny it?”

“Would you believe me?” he asked, when you didn’t reply, he sighed, “it was only meant to be a one-time thing.”

Your heart shattered as you felt tears sting at your eyes, “why?”

“She gets me, in a way that you don’t,” he whispers, “she’s not waiting for me to have a mental breakdown about the whole astral projection thing.”

“Well, forgive me for worrying about you,” you hissed, “tell me something, did you think of me when you were having sex with her?”

When he didn’t reply, you had your answer, “why didn’t you just break up with me Dalton?” you felt pathetic with tears streaming down your cheeks, “I would have understood.”

He stood from his bed and reached out for you, tearing up when you flinched away from him, “because I love you, I don’t want to lose you.”

You let out a hollow laugh, “you’ve been cheating on me and you don’t want to lose me?!” you ran a hand through your hair, “I can’t forgive this, Dalton. I don’t know, maybe if it was a one-time thing I could have. But if you really loved me, you wouldn’t have fallen for her and you have fallen for her haven’t you?”

He nodded as tears silently slid down his cheeks.

“Goodbye, Dalton,” you sniffled as you walked out of his dorm and he didn’t come after you or call after you.

Like you, he knew it was over.

[gayerthanevertbh]

the start of war | futile devices pt. 2

pairings: fuckboy!natasha romanoff x fem!reader

natasha romanoff masterlist | series masterlist | navigation  

summary: you don’t know whether this was a good idea or not, but somehow it felt good. once you start feeling good, then you will feel that sickening betrayal all over your body.

warnings: sexual tension, slight kissing, slight angst, let me know if i’m missing something - 18+ MINORS DNI.

author’s note: this story is getting juicier wow

It was unusually sunny today as I sat by the window, looking out at the blue sky that I could practically see even with my eyes closed. Today wasn't such a productive day because I was late for school and missed a semester-long assignment. Peter was beside me, tapping the edge of his pen on the table as he was engrossed in our professor's speech, Ms. Louise. I tried to concentrate, but I couldn't. I couldn't even look at her for some reason. I remembered that night when Natasha was in our apartment. I could get lost in her hooded green eyes, which were bright. I wasn't sure if I was interested in her, but it could just be a silly crush. I used to have a crush on an older man who lived three blocks away and I would always see him walking back to his house every day. At that time, I was in a dirty fight with Wanda, so technically, I had no one else to gawk over.

“Y/n?”

I shifted my gaze away from the window, and my professor gave me a casual look. I couldn't tell if she was annoyed because I wasn't paying attention, so I sat up straight and sighed quietly to myself.

“You aren’t paying attention to my class again,” she said out loud. “And for that, I want you to write a five-paragraph essay about a certain book you like and why you enjoyed it.”

I only nodded in response and looked down at my notes while she continued to speak. I hear Peter whispering, “If you want, we can share notes. I wasn’t paying attention either.”

“I thought you were the smartest in this room.”

He chuckles quietly, “I don’t know about that,” he says. “I should’ve just chosen to be a chemist.”

I was walking to catch my train when I got a message from Wanda. She texted I'll be out late, and Natasha will stay at our place for a while. She got into a fight with her roommate. What made her agree to that? I only sighed, pushed my phone back into my pocket, and jumped on the train as soon as it arrived. The trip was relatively smooth and quiet. Usually, it wasn't. I got to my apartment in five minutes and felt like my lungs were pushing out of my chest. As I opened the door, I saw Natasha sitting on the couch, with a phone in her hand. She looked up and waved at me.

“You’re home,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry I have to stay here for a while. Dorming problems.”

“Not a problem at all,” I responded meekly as I shut the door and removed my bag from my shoulder, dropping it onto the ground. I wanted to sit down on the couch she was sitting on, but instead, I just stood there in an awkward manner. “Do you want some coffee?”

Natasha perked up a bit and smiled, something about that grin made me think how beautiful she was. She pushed the back of her head and shook her head, “I might be wasting your–”

“It’s fine,” I muttered with a chuckle, lowering my eyes to the ground. “Wanda will be home in a couple of hours, I guess it’s just me and you for now.”

“Yeah,” she replied, clasping her hands together. “Just me and you.”

If I had to admit that she was attractive, I’d say it out loud. She removes her leather jacket and places it neatly on the arm couch, taking out a stick of cigarettes from the pack. I gave her a furrowed look and asked, “Could you not do this here? I don’t want my apartment to smell like you.”

“Wanda lets me,” she says so easily that she thinks she’s smug, I rolled my eyes and poured coffee into both of our mugs. I can already smell the cigarettes from here. “I’d let you try if you wanted to.”

"I've had plenty of that," I replied calmly, turning around to hand her the second mug. She took it from my grasp and gave me a small smile in the shape of a smile on her stupid face. I sat on the floor and took the cigarette from her grasp, swigging it myself. I've missed the sensation of smoking, especially when life is stressful. It's as if I'm from another planet. "You can smoke here as long as you clean up after yourself."

“How long have you been smoking?”

“Five months ago.”

She lets out a breathy laugh and slowly tilts her head back. I swear she was making fun of me, but I decided not to let it get to me; I can't. “You’re still a baby, aren’t you?” I rolled my eyes once more at the obnoxious questions. “Tell me, did you lose your virginity five months ago too?”

“I haven’t gotten to the point yet.”

She frowns and says, “Why not? Everyone is having sex these days, I thought you were more active than Wanda.”

“It would be okay if you didn’t talk about your sex life with my best friend,” I murmured in a low tone. Natasha quickly gave me an apologetic look and flopped her back against the couch, taking another swig of her cigarette. I asked, “Are you in love with Wanda?”

She only shrugs, “Maybe, why did you ask?”

“Because she’s my best friend, and I don’t want her to get hurt.”

“We’re just having fun,” she claims. “That’s all, I don’t want to get too serious with her. I’ve been down that road, and it did not go well for me.”

“But Wanda is–” I hesitated for a moment, unsure whether I should tell her or not. But I couldn't help but slip it out as she looked down at me with those curious green eyes. Wanda wants you so much, she talks about you a lot and wants you to be her priority. Like… serious stuff.”

Natasha blinked at me, then fell silent for a moment before speaking quietly.

“Is that what she said to you?”

“Yeah,” I said. “She’s very much in love with you.”

“And what if I’m not in love with her?”

"Then you should be the one to break up with her," I sighed, turning away from her and staring at the blank wall. “I love Wanda, you know? I’ve always been so infatuated by her, and to see her dating you is so meaningless, I can’t help but hurt for her.”

“So you’re in love with your best friend?” she asked, a smile appearing on her face. “You’re in love with my girlfriend?”

At this point, I was confused. I don’t know whether I was in love with Wanda or infatuated with her, but I didn’t like to see her get hurt. What would be the benefit if they ended up leaving each other? Will I be upset at Natasha? Or to myself? I shook my head solemnly and whispered, “I don’t know if I am, but I don’t want to find out.”

“It’s okay,” she urges me to continue as she finishes her cigarette. “I won’t be mad if you’re in love with her. In fact, I might as well support you through it. But I don’t want to leave her,” she chuckles. “I don’t think I can. I’d be nothing without Wanda; I’d be hopeless. So at the end of the day, she’s still mine and will always be mine.”

Those words hit me as a big truck had run over my illusions. At the end of the day, Wanda will never choose me as her lover and will always choose Natasha because she has the complete package, whereas I do not. Regardless of how strong our bond is, their bond is far more distinct than ours. And I could feel myself slipping away if I imagined myself being with Wanda, like holding her hand and making love to her. I stood up from the floor and wiped my pants with my hand, turning around as I looked at her with my eyes.

She looked at me back, and I noticed that her eyes changed when she gazed at me.

“At the end of the day, you’ll win. And I’ll always be her best friend.”

Natasha nodded in agreement, standing up as she took a few steps toward me, her hand resting on my shoulder. She whispers close to my ear, “If I could fuck you both, I would.”

She left my apartment without saying anything, and I was stunned for an hour. Why would she say that out of nowhere? Was she interested in me? Was she looking for a threesome? I was never interested in those because I believe I can only share my body with one person. I made a disgusting sound as I scrunched my brows together, images of us fucking in our beds flooding my mind. I was clearly not having a good day.

“Come on,” Wanda laughs, giving me another shot of tequila. “Drink up! We don’t have any exams this week, so let’s just have fun!”

“Wanda, I don’t think it’s a good–”

“I’ll make us some recovery food once we get back home,” she says, her voice sounding promising; I fell for it. “Kate and everyone else are having fun, why can’t you have fun?”

Because your girlfriend was standing a few feet away from us, and her eyes won’t leave my body.

I sighed and drank the tequila shot, making a face as soon as the alcohol was all over my throat. I wasn't a drinker, but I did enjoy a good party now and then. Wanda was an outgoing person who would invite anyone from the streets to her parties in order to have the cheapest drinks. I blinked a few times and smiled at her, saying, “That was really smooth, where did you get this?”

“Don’t worry about it,” she screams through the loud music in the club. “It’s Kate’s treat! Let’s just have some fun, okay?”

Natasha's gaze was fixed on me as she walked to the dance floor. We made eye contact for a few seconds before Wanda pressed up against me, causing me to pull away at the slightest provocation. Natasha was going to beat me up tonight, and I didn't want that.

“What’s going on?” she asked loudly, pressing her face against my ear. “Do you not like that?”

“Natasha is here,” I proclaimed, moving my hips as the music took me away. “I don’t want–”

“She’ll be fine,” Wanda takes my hand and lowers herself to the ground, then rises to face me, a sheen of sweat on her brow. “I’m here, okay?”

We continued to dance on the dance floor like wild animals, and all I could think about was Natasha dancing with me. How did she like to dance? I saw her drinking with us, but was she as wild as I was? Perhaps she was more daring than I am, as I appear to be more of an introvert. When I turned my gaze away from Wanda, I noticed Natasha getting closer to us, and she was reaching for me as much as I was reaching for her. I knew I was inebriated and that this was not how I felt. I stepped back and drew Wanda away from the crowd, returning to our reserved table.

“What’s wrong? Do you need some water?”

“No, I think I’ll be fine. I just–”

Natasha appeared once more and gave Wanda a peck on the cheek, causing her to giggle softly. She asked, “If you want, I can take Y/n home since you want to spend your night with Kate.”

My eyes bulged out, and I vigorously waved my hands in the air. “Nat, that really won’t be necessary!”

“Y/n, you’re drunk,” she sighs. “I never thought you’d be a lightweight.”

“I-I’m not–”

“Fine,” Wanda agreed, crossing her arms on her chest. “Just take care of her, okay? When I come back here, I still want to have fun with you.”

Natasha winked at her and gave her one last kiss, pulling my wrist as I almost tripped onto the floor with a humorous laugh. I whispered, “Sorry, I think I’m done for tonight.”

“At least you know,” Natasha grumbled as she walked out with me, bringing me to her car. I asked if I could sit at the back, but she shook her head. “That’s not safe, I want you to sit with me so I know what you’re doing.”

“But there are rear mirrors for a reason,” I pointed out with a snort of laughter. “But if you insist, just don’t get mad if I vomit in your car.”

“I’ve had Wanda vomit in my car, I think I’ll be fine,” she replied, closing the door as I rested my head against the window. She got inside and turned on the engine, wiping her eyes. “You can’t ever drink alone, okay? You should always be with Wanda, I mean it.”

“Why do you sound so protective?” I asked, licking my lips. “You’re not my girlfriend–”

“I never claimed to be that person for you,” Natasha drives slowly as she fixes her rear mirror, occasionally looking at me. “I just want to take care of you, okay?”

I only hummed in response and gazed out the window at the city lights as she drove me back to my apartment, wondering why she would ever decide on this. I would occasionally turn to look at her, but she never returned my gaze. I imagined Wanda partying alone with Kate and the rest of our friends as she drove quietly to the suburbs.

"I was worried about you back there," she says as she turns her steering wheel to the right. "I thought you were going to pass out on that dance floor."

I chuckled, “Thank god I didn’t, I think I’m a lightweight.”

“You and Wanda are both,” she said as she stopped at my apartment building, turning to the sidewalk. “Here we are. Should I take you upstairs?”

Natasha ended up helping me by going to my unit, which I was hoping for because I thought I might pass out on the ground. Once we got there, I opened the door and asked for her to come in; she shook her head out of politeness. “I can get you some water,” I said while leaning my head against the doorframe. “Sorry, I’m really drunk.”

“Can I ask you something?”

Strange.

“Yeah, go for it.”

Natasha reached into her pocket and looked around, then back at me as she took a step closer. She let out a small sigh, unsure what to do in my presence. Then, unexpectedly, she leans in and kisses me on the cheek for what felt like an eternity since I felt her tongue grazing on my skin. This was a betrayal for Wanda, and I couldn't be in this situation. So I slowly backed away, muttering, "Why did you do that?"

"I'm not sure," she replied quietly as she kissed my cheek once more. "I couldn't stop myself."

"But Wanda is yours," I said, my headache pounding in my skull. I was either going to vomit or sleep it off tonight. “You can’t do that, Natasha.”

“She’s not here.”

“Still,” my stomach started to hurt terribly because I felt like a horrible friend who received a kiss from their partner. “You should go, forget about what I offered.”

Natasha smacked her lips together and nodded, but she still placed her hand on the wall and looked down at me, looking for my eyes. I couldn't look at her like that because everything would fall apart. Wanda will always be my priority, no matter how attractive she is. I tried to turn around, but her hands were on my waist, drawing me in closer. I couldn't get away from her grip because I could feel her breath against my chin.

"I'm sorry," she said with a mumble, pleading for my forgiveness. “I didn’t mean to do that, I’m drunk as you are.”

"There's no such thing as drunk people being unable to think aloud," I explained, looking down at those pink lips. “You want to kiss me, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she said, her throat bobbing with fear and excitement. “I want to kiss you.”

Pull her in, make a move. Do something.

We exchanged very sexual stares, and I prayed to God that it would go away soon - but it never did. Instead, I felt myself getting closer to her lips, but reality kicked in and I quickly backed away from her grip. I took a step back and shook my head as her eyes became disoriented.

“No, I’m not going to do this to her.”

“I’m sorry.”

I nodded, taking her hand off the wall as I shut the door. I turned around and sighed quietly to myself, resting my head against the wooden door. Natasha Romanoff, the woman I shouldn't be attracted to, was all I could think about.

taglist: @ihartnat​ @natsxwife​ @romanoffsgal​ @kksalexa​ @pancakefan7529 @daydreamerruby @wandanatlov3r @lovsalvatore​ @wifeofnatasharomanoff​ 

[seresinhangmanjake]

Beyond the Hills: Part 3

Jake “Hangman” Seresin x female!reader (College AU)

Summary: Technically, you and Jake Seresin have known each other for twelve years. All throughout your childhood education, you and Jake shared classes, lunch periods, homeroom teachers. It seemed if the opportunity for you to be in the same space arose, the universe made it happen. But you were not friends. Not enemies, either. Not much of anything to one another outside of the occasional class project partners. When high school ended you assumed you wouldn’t be seeing him any time soon, but then you find yourselves at the same college, and once again, forced together. It seems no matter where you go, Jake Seresin is there. But you are not the shy girl you were in your youth. You want to try things now; party, have fun, do things you’ve never done before, and suddenly, for reasons you don’t understand, Jake seems to take issue with your new choices.

Notes/Warnings: 18+, just to be safe. Minors DNI. underage drinking (depending on your country, but I’m in the US). I’d bet on typos, kind of my thing, as I learn after I’ve posted. I don’t have a beta reader, sooo…just me, myself, and I, and sometimes that does not cut it for editing purposes. Smut-ish.

Words: 2591

Masterlist / Main Masterlist

-----

He'd decided the night after the first meeting that he wanted to get to know you. The need took root in his chest and he couldn’t shake it. But was he making progress? He didn't know. The second meeting you were paired with Ellen and he with some new addition named Maria. Rooster hadn't shown. Didn't need to now that he'd gotten his foot in the door with your friend. Jake didn't care. He cared about the fact that you clearly were fine with being someone else's partner that Tuesday when he certainly wasn't feeling the same. But if there was a silver lining—he got to watch you laugh and smile, he got to see your eyes shine, and he didn't have to worry about what you'd think because you weren't paying him an ounce of attention. Silver lining to the core. He'd prefer the attention. 

The third week was a little better. He'd given extra consideration to Pride and Prejudice, staying up late to finish the book and form his opinions. He didn't so much enjoy the story, but he did enjoy the idea of appearing smart in front of you. So when the TA told them to pair off, he practically snatched you up and did his best to prove he had a decent head on his shoulders. Maybe he got you to believe it, too, at least by the time the meeting was over. 

Progress. Right? Right?

He sighed as he opened his room's door, hoping he was right. The thought was consuming him, so much so that he didn't hear the mix of moans and groans and the squeaks of an ancient mattress.

"Fuck, baby."

Those were the words that drew Jake back to the present. 

He grimaced. "Oh, what the actual fuck."

Lydia yelped on Rooster's lap and whipped her head Jake's way, letting out an "Oh my god" as his roommate pulled her chest flush against his to shield some of her bare body. 

"Hey, man," Rooster chuckled, grabbing the blanket from behind him and wrapping it around them both. "We were just—"

"I think I can guess," Jake snapped as he gestured his hand at the scene before him. "How about a text next time? Or a note slapped on the door?"

"That's fair."

"Thank you," Jake huffed. He ran a hand through his hair. A handful of beats passed as they all looked anywhere but at each other. "And how are you, Lydia?" It seemed polite to ask, albeit with a little irritation in his tone. 

"Good, thanks." She smiled, all awkwardness fading once the shock of his presence wore off. Of course she was as confident as his roommate. Entirely unbothered. She shifted slightly on Rooster’s lap and the man groaned in response, biting into her neck. "Oh hey, by the way, Y/N is coming with us to the bar tonight if you want to go. It's the one on Lake that doesn't ask ages."

Jake's eyes narrowed into a glare. His arms crossed over his chest. "You told her?"

Rooster shrugged. "It was a bonding moment. Right, baby?" He said as he brushed some of the wild platinum hair behind Lydia's ear.

She wrapped her arms tighter around his neck, hummed in agreement, and leaned in to give him a quick kiss. Something in Jake ached at the sight—the tenderness. Rooster had known Lydia for weeks and he already had more with her than Jake did with a girl he'd known for years. 

He didn't like you. Those thoughts just crossed his mind every once in a while, completely out of his control. But he'd find a way to bury them because he did want to be your friend, at the very least. Fighting that was out the window. 

Jake looked back at the two sitting atop the bed, still intertwined, still holding each other, still giving one another little kisses as if he wasn't there. "Goddamn you move fast," he said. 

With reluctance, his roommate pulled back slightly from the woman in his arms. "Yea, and we'd like to move a little faster, so can we maybe talk some more about this when I’m, uh, not hard and buried deep in—"

"Stop."

"Unless you want to watch?"

Jake was already shaking his head before he said, "Absolutely not."

Rooster winked. "We'll be quick."

—--

You couldn't decide if you were comfortable or not, cramped in the tight space, shuffling through a sea of bodies just to get from one end of the bar to the other. You were leaning more towards uncomfortable until you finally saw Lydia waving at you from the entrance, her hand clasped in Bradley's and dragging him along. You took a breath and a sip of your drink but it almost sputtered at your lips when you saw Jake following behind the two. 

Shit. What the hell was wrong with your friend? Your first one in forever and she'd already betrayed you. You couldn't fully relax if he was here, and while you hadn't told Lydia a damn thing about the confusing thoughts in your head about him, you had a suspicion she was catching on. 

You took another drink, a long one, emptying the rest of your glass.

"Hi, hon," she said, taking the seat opposite you in the booth and dragging her—boyfriend? Sex partner? you didn't know what they were—down beside her. 

It left you with no choice but to make room for the blond, who plopped down in the space you had occupied. He was close. So close you couldn't tell if the warmth of your body was from the alcohol or his own heat enveloping you. Either way, it wasn't…unpleasant.

"Hi," you finally remembered to say. 

—--

Your voice was unsteady on that word as much as his heartbeat was inside his body. Both were clear and unmistakable, yet unstable. Irregular. If he spoke, his words would’ve sounded the same, and he wondered if your heartbeat was currently as wild as his. Maybe you were a perfect match. What a dangerous thought. 

Ok, maybe he liked you. Just a bit. 

Fuck.

"So," Lydia began, and Jake suddenly decided he had never liked the girl better. Her drawn-out syllable was a crack in the walls of silence that encased the four of you. A sweet smile split her face. "Have you guys seen anyone else from home walking around?"

Your head shook in his peripherals and Jake remained silent, watching as Lydia glanced nervously at Rooster. He gave her a nod, urging her to continue. It didn't fool Jake in the slightest. They were trying to get him to talk to you in some way that wasn't about books, but their conversation starters were lousy and you weren't biting. 

"Well, I saw Cooper Michaels today," she said.

—--

Jake stiffened beside you—spine suddenly rigid while his neck muscles strained from his clenching jaw. His thumbnail started to scrape up and down the side of his curled-in middle finger and his other hand began balling up one of the napkins the bar used as a sorry excuse for coasters. 

"Really?" You asked. You knew Cooper, in a way. Nearly everyone from your high school did, regardless of year. But it was simply a matter of recognizing his name and being able to put it to his face if the situation called for it. Nothing more.

"Yea, he transferred from a different school already. Said it wasn't a good fit." Lydia paused, clearly waiting for something more from either you or Jake, but she wasn’t going to get it; not from you because you didn’t care much about anyone from high school, and not from Jake for, well, some reason. Not until Lydia said "I invited him tonight” did Jake finally look up at her again. 

His brow was drawn tight and his next word he practically spat at your friend. "Why?"

"Dude,” Bradley snapped, but Jake’s attitude didn’t phase Lydia; likely because of her four brothers and their natural moodiness—something she claimed Bradley was already terrified at the thought of. 

"Because he just got here and he doesn't know anyone else,” Lydia said, giving back a minute degree of sass that was just enough to spread an ashamed look across Jake’s face. "Wasn't he your friend?" 

Jake mumbled something under his breath, then, "Not really."

"Oh. Well, he said he was glad he was going to get to see you tonight."

His mouth was sealed shut, face devoid of emotion. He looked…blank. Not all there. And then he was gone, out of the booth and disappearing into the crowd. 

—--

He wanted to shatter his own reflection—just to relieve some of the tension in his body, to expel some energy, maybe feel something other than irritation at his own bad luck, even if that feeling was sharp pain from glass shards buried into the skin of his knuckles. 

He couldn’t catch a damn break. Wrapping his head around you, picking at his brain with a needle to try and figure out why he felt what he felt, was enough to occupy him. Enough to disrupt his sleep, as the bathroom mirror reminded him. He didn’t need more. He didn’t need the return of an intentionally neglected memory. 

Cooper fucking Michaels. 

Maybe he’d never see him again after the night was over. The school was big enough. But could he really wake up tomorrow and pretend one half of a destroyed friendship wasn’t within a mile radius at all times? He doubted the other half would. Cooper hated him, and that wasn’t going away any time soon. 

Jake twisted the knob on the sink and gathered some of the cool water in his palm to run over his face. He needed to get himself together; to walk back out there, sit down beside you, and remain calm. He might not even show, he told himself as he dried his face. He could have had something better to do.

He shoved the door open and stepped into the liquor-scented air, making it all of five paces before your face filled his vision. You stared up at him, and he down at you. Then your mouth opened and Jake waited patiently for the words you were going to gift him. 

“Are–Are you ok?” you shouted over the music booming through the speakers that were set up in nearly every corner of the room. “Lydia and Bradley asked me to come chec—” 

A body shoved yours forward, directly into his. A harsh collision, but Jake welcomed it, savored it. You huddled a little closer to him as the rest of the moving group of people passed, and his hands instinctively went to wrap around your upper arms. 

Tingles, zaps, shocks. Whatever you wanted to call them, Jake got them just by brushing his fingers over some bare skin—your bare skin. And he finally knew what those meant. His thumbs began to slowly stroke back and forth along your biceps but he couldn't say if you noticed. Your attention was still on the migrating group. 

Soft. So fucking soft. And warm. And right in front of him. 

He whispered your name before he could stop himself, and as if you'd heard him, you turned your head, your eyes widening when they connected with his. His chest rose and fell, pressing against yours with each inhale as he gathered the realization of his sudden desire. 

He wanted you. He wanted this mouth on yours. He wanted his hands dipping into your clothes. He wanted more of your skin. 

Jake blinked hard to break his stare and shook his head. "I, um—"

"This your girl, Seresin?"

Pure ice shot through his body, solidifying the blood in his veins and stopping his heart mid-thump.

He'd know that voice from a mile away; could pick out its specific notes and tone in the sea of mindless chattering. Never would he forget the voice of the man who cursed his name and told him in about ten different ways to fuck off and go to hell. Not even in his nightmares did the memory fade, despite his best effort.

An ocean-blue gaze landed on your face as Jake dropped his hands back to his sides, and it took everything in him not to block that look with his body. It was too suggestive, too bold, but that was signature for the man he used to call his friend. Flirting was in his nature—was once in Jake’s nature, too; deeply embedded in the wiring of his brain. That is, until he fucked up under the influence of that flirty nature mixed with an abundance of alcohol. 

"I'm Cooper," he said, his lips thinning into a smirk. He winked and took a sip from the beer bottle in his hand. 

"I know. We went to the same high school." You replied without skipping a beat. 

Jake’s brow furrowed at your words and the pang in his chest that followed them. How many times in your life had you reminded people of who you were? To the idiots who could somehow find you so unimportant as to forget your face. He couldn’t blur the image of your face if he tried, and he had tried, relentlessly, for years. That determination had only increased when he saw you walk into his class, but you returned with a vengeance; the center of his dreams. 

"You sure?” Copper asked. “I'd think I would've remembered a girl like you."

You smiled a tad awkwardly, your head falling forward, eyes landing at your shoes. He wanted to hold you. Wrap his arms back around you. Protect you. Save you from the discomfort that you never should’ve had to go through. He’d failed you countless times before, without you even knowing it. He could have done those things in school. He’d certainly felt the pull, and yet he didn’t. He kept away as best he could. Now, the instinct was thick and wild and it was a sickening struggle to restrain his limbs from reaching out. But he did. The possible repercussions of acting in this moment would tear him apart. 

"I'm sure," you replied, looking back up. You briefly met Cooper’s eyes, but shifted them to Jake as you said, "I'm going to head back."

Best fucking thing he’d heard all night. Get away from Cooper ran through his head. Good girl. Even if it meant also walking away from Jake, he needed you to go. 

Jake nodded, watching you turn and weave back through body after body until he lost sight of you. 

"You never answered my question." All flirtiness gone. A tenseness turning that tone to stone.

"She's no one,” Jake said, his gaze still locked in the direction you had gone, though you were far from his area of vision. “Just in my class."

Cooper hummed. "Just in your class, huh?" His wide shoulder rammed into Jake’s as he passed him to make his way to the booth where you sat with Rooster and his girlfriend. Cooper glanced over that shoulder, his strawberry blond hair—the hair that had won him the attention of numerous girls for years—shifting in the act, and said "Somehow I doubt that."

------

Tags: @marvel-ousnesss @thespeeder @nobody7102 @marrianena @fangirlingoverfangirls @blue-aconite @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @dempy @chaoticassidy @alana4610 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @dracosluvbot @smoothdogsgirl @smit41 @wkndwlff @rileyloves5 @gigisimsonmars @hangmanbrainrot @withakindheartx @teacupsandtopgun @himbos-on-ice @xoxabs88xox @happypopcornprincess @violyn20 @jordanturpen @nagygreta @rintheemolion @coldmuffinbanditshoe @avengersgirllorianna @oliviah-25 @talkfastromance4 @ysl-bby @chibijusstuff @kmsryles343 @sometimesicryintheshower @cookielovesbook-akie @yanna-banana @taylahk109 @buxkybarnez @elijahmikaelsonbitch @ravenhood2792 @potato-girl99981 @eccentricnos @kembry107 @pono-pura-vida @topguncultleader @v0id-chaos @scrappybear89 @stiles-banshees @audri_janis @jake-seresins-girl @caidi-paris @sass-masterkittenmama @mlibbydp @abaker74 @blackwidownat2814 @llymoonie @caitsymichelle13 @zbeez-outlet @ahintofstrawberry-blog @djs8891 @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @themusingofagothicsoul @taytaylala12 @appledressing @boltgirl426​ @atarmychick007 @winterrebel04 @alldaysdreamers @lelapine @darkheartcherry 

[mariaofdoranelle]

Silver Fox

AO3 link

Hi. I’ve got terrible flu and decided to heal myself with some self-indulgent Rowaelin (mostly) fluff. If you end up hating this, I’m totally blaming the meds lol who would’ve thought one of its side effects was poor editing?

I’d also like to thank @leiawritesstories for letting me use her professor’s Einstein joke. Absolutely priceless.

Word count: 6,2k

CW: swear words, drinking, mentions of cheating.

˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜

That’s it. I’m going to fuck his dad.

That was Aelin’s first thought when she saw the picture Lysandra sent of Chaol in a club with his hand under a girl’s skirt. With an attached message saying they left the party together.

At that point, Aelin was truly and thoroughly pissed. Their relationship wasn’t very fulfilling and she didn’t love him, but he had been a comfortable constant in her life for the past few months, specially since dating could be a handful when one’s not in a serious relationship already, with all the games, bad experiences and walking on eggshells. She couldn’t afford this now, getting through college was her main goal. But Chaol and her were supposed to be partners. Aelin could deal with a lot of things, but betrayal wasn’t one of them.

It was Saturday, so she woke up late to find the picture, and stayed a lot of time frozen in place, just reeling. To then start pacing around the house. Her third reaction to the betrayal was to forward her cheating (ex) boyfriend the picture and text “Don’t you dare trying to fix this.” when he started to apologize and request a conversation. Immediately after, she calmly laid in her bathtub, used her finest oils and lavender soap, put on a black lacy lingerie, black dress that was flirty but not too revealing, and red lipstick. She wasn’t getting ready to fuck Chaol’s dad, no. She was getting ready to have her revenge.

Her mind was on fire as she started driving to Anielle. Was she sure about that? Almost. Mr. Westfall never really liked her, but he and her parents were all politicians, and at least she was respected for the weight of her last name and her family’s legacy. Besides, even though they disagreed on everything, she had incredible assets. Aelin was confident enough to admit her looks made her hard to refuse. When added to the fact that Mr. Westfall didn’t care enough about his son to have this kind of loyalty to him, her mission was almost too easy. She didn’t care if Chaol’s dad was one of the most hateful people she ever met, getting revenge was enough to get her off. Her friends were always trying to warn her about him.

Aelin, his looks don’t make up for his personality.

Aelin, he’s too boring for you.

Aelin, he’s not a boyfriend, he’s a charity case.

And what did she gain from dating Chaol? Exac—

“What the fuck?”

When she looked up, there was a car in front of hers. One she just hit. Fuck. And it also wasn’t looking good. Aelin was starting to panic when she saw Rowan Whitethorn getting out of the car she just hit. Great. Her ex’s roommate. He was actually a sore spot on Chaol’s life, but she never figured it out besides not making it into the hockey team which Whitethorn was captain. Still, she wanted nothing to do with the people in Chaol’s life. Besides his dad, for one night. And the two friends they had in common. She was shutting the bastard out.

She left the car, looking intently at the damage until Rowan’s snap at her became impossible not to notice. “Seriously, Aelin? How fast were you going?”

“Oh, please. It’s not my fault you drive like an old lady.” Aelin couldn’t help the snarky comment. Without a car, her avenge was ten times more difficult to achieve now.

She watched Rowan close his eyes and breathe in and out a few times, deeply. Then he ran a hand through his silvery-blonde hair and asked “Are you injured? I’m fine so I’m just going to call insurance if you’re good as well.” It would be a jerk move to be sassy now, so she just told him to go ahead and make the call, and they decided to wait on the sidewalk while someone came to pick up their cars. They really were lucky no one got hurt. Both of the cars looked like a raisin where they crashed.

She was also really lucky Rowan wasn’t pressing charges. Actually, he didn’t even seem overly pissed, just mildly so. She knew him very little, but as Rowan was definitely the quiet type, he was never rude to her, which made her try harder to understand Chaol’s spite toward him. She looked sideways and saw her crashmate look up, breathe deep and think hard on something. Probably trying not to be pissed at her, the person who wasn’t looking where she was going and bumped into his car. Which now looked like the outside of a passion fruit. By now, she was actually thinking he was too nice.

At first, they didn’t say a thing. Just stayed sat on the sidewalk, slowly breathing while waiting for someone from the insurance company to come. At some point, Rowan silently offered her his water bottle, which she gladly took and then cleaned the lipstick smudge left there. She didn’t really know Rowan, but his steady presence was soothing. People watching on the street, with a breeze cooling her down, and breathing evenly for the first time since she found out she was being cheated on, Rowan probably had no idea how much this was calming her down. She was still mad at Chaol, but it was good to clear her head a little. Aelin wasn’t even counting the time, she was just happy to see it pass by her. At this moment, she didn’t feel like controlling anything.

A while later, Rowan broke the silence. “So, where were you going in such a hurry?” Even though his question was snarky, he kept a gentle tone.

Aelin wasn’t a very open person, and she didn’t feel ready yet to talk to any of her friends about the downfall of her relationship, but something about Rowan made him seem approachable. Safe, even. So she told him the truth.

“I was driving to fuck Mr. Westfall”.

Rowan’s cheeks flushed a little, but he kept his gaze intent on her. “You call your own boyfriend by his last name?”

“No, I mean his dad.”

At that, Rowan just gaped and stared at her, as if waiting for the clarification that it was a joke. Except that it wasn’t. She just raised one eyebrow at him and waited for his brain to start working again.

“I met him only once and he’s one of the most unpleasant people I know. You can’t be serious.”

“I never thought of him that way. In fact, I kind of always hated him, but Chaol and I broke up and I’m so mad at him I just feel like sleeping with his dad out of spite.”

He looked up a little and asked quietly “Can I be honest with you?”

“Always.”

He watched her a little and uttered with a small crooked smile “I always thought you were dating down by being with him.” Sounds like this was everyone’s opinion on her relationship. “Ugh, I know. My friends told me this at least a thousand times, but I didn’t really listen. You and my cousin Aedion are teammates, right?”

He peered at her, unsure where she was going. “Sure.”

“You know his girlfriend?”

“Yeah. Alyssa?”

For the first time that day, Aelin laughed. “Lysandra, yes.” Then she remembered where the conversation was going and the mood sobered. “So, she sent me last night a picture of him with another girl at a club, and told me they left together. I saw it this morning, forwarded to him and he didn’t even deny he cheated, just tried to mend our relationship. The rest you already know.”

Rowan looked thoughtful while processing the information, then asked “and you think sleeping with someone you dislike with help you somehow? I’d prefer to go for Dorian if I were in your shoes.”

“I’m really just doing it out of spite, and Mr. Westfall is the person Chaol has the strongest feelings, even though it’s hate. Besides, I had a quick fling with Dorian before dating Chaol and the three of us dealt well with it, it wouldn’t make that big impact.”

Rowan still looked quizzically at her, but he seemed amused. “I’m still not sure your big impact makes up for sleeping with someone that repulsing, but I’m sorry my slowness delayed your revenge. I would never purposefully come between a girl and her evil masterplans.”

Aelin just laughed, but didn’t want to stop the conversation. So they started to tentatively ask each other about college, which developed to an exchanging of funny stories. The pink tones of the sunset were reflected on Rowan’s face as Aelin did an impression of her professor. “And he said” —she took a moment as trying not to laugh— “Einstein. Yeah, sure, do the Einstein thing: grossly irresponsible research that’s gonna kill us all,” and then she lost it, both of them laughing so much they had to take gulps of air after.

In fact, they were having such a good time they missed when the crew came to take their cars. Not wanting their little encounter to be over, they decided on going to eat a burger together nearby. Casually. As two new friends who liked spending time together. Aelin was definitely not thinking about the way Rowan’s body made his shirt stretch, or how his scent of pine and snow hit her when he held the door for her, and it reminded her of home. When they sat on the table, she was decided to toss these thoughts aside. She should go with the basics. And fast, since he was looking intently at her silent figure as if trying to figure her out.

“What’s your favorite color?”

He looked surprised, but quickly answered. “Green.”

“Fitting.”

“How so?”

“You smell like pine.” So much for her ability to shove dangerous thoughts aside.

“Oh.” —he still had that dumbfounded expression on his gorgeous gorgeous face— “It’s probably from my shampoo or something. I hadn’t really noticed it before.”

Genuinely curious, Aelin couldn’t seem to shut up. “Is your hair naturally that color? It’s like you were born a Benjamin Button except that your hair stayed that way,” Rowan looked at a loss of words, so she added, “But I mean it in a good way! It’s quite cute, actually.”

Ignoring completely everything besides the last phrase, he just blushed and sheepishly asked “You think I’m cute?” Great. Aelin had her mouth opened as she tried to come up with an appropriate answer and they both were blushing now. With a much appreciated intervention, Rowan’s phone starting to vibrate endlessly and he rolled his eyes at whatever was happening on his screen.

“That would be Fenrys. He refuses to call me, but keeps sending a thread of meaningless texts until he has my attention.” He seemed fondly exasperated at his friend, which just made Aelin cackle more.

“But is it serious?”

Still texting this Fenrys guy, he replied “Of course not. He just want us to go clubbing with him.”

Her eyes widened. “Us?”

“Yeah, I told him I’m already busy and he told me to bring whoever I’m with. In my defense, he would invite my mom if it meant he would get his way. And he’d totally own it because he’s that kind of social butterfly.” The way he talked about Fenrys kind of reminded Aelin about her relationship with Aedion, like he was fondly exasperated of his annoying little brother. That only piked her interest even more.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

Rowan looked at her as if trying to understand. “Clubbing with Fenrys?”

“Sure, why not? I’m already dressed like I was going to, anyway.” She was laughing at her own joke while Rowan’s eyes roamed through her. Aelin didn’t know exactly what it meant, but the heat in his eyes burned on her skin, and the feeling was exhilarating because it had been a while since she last felt desired. Her thing with Chaol had been mundane, driven by routine. Hot team captain that looked at her like this? Aelin could deal with that.

When the food came, Aelin realized she was starving. She didn’t remember eating anything the whole day, probably forgetting to do so since finding out about being cheated on. And that burger was so good it should be illegal.

“That good, huh?” Rowan mused.

Oh, fuck. She was blushing now. Had she been eating too greedily? Did she forget to clean something off her face? Aelin was about to apologize when she noticed Rowan wasn’t reprimanding her, he actually looked amused. Wow. That was a new one. Still feeling shy and without knowing what to do, she just gave him a small smile. And received a full grin back.

“So… Were you going to see your friends when I slammed into your car?”

“Actually, I was going to my dad’s birthday. It’s only tomorrow, but I like to talk to my parents a little before the very chaotic part of the family arrives.”

She couldn’t help the giggle that came. “I don’t have a big family, but I’m very familiar with the ‘chaotic’ part. By the way, sorry for the crash. I hope you still make it tomorrow.”

“My cousin already offered to give me a ride tomorrow, don’t worry. I’m not half as mad as I should be about that crash. In fact, I’m not mad at all.” He tilted his head and seemed to be confused at himself, but both of them looked pleased. Good. She was liking this evening far too much for Rowan to have normal feelings about an accident that was totally her fault.

Talking to Rowan was easy. She didn’t know how to describe it. Aelin had been on so many dates —was that a date?— where she had to scramble her mind to find something to keep conversation going at least for another hour or so. Honestly, she didn’t know if she could do this after such a long day, but keeping a conversation with Rowan wasn’t an effort at all. They just jumped from one topic to another without even realizing it. It felt like they were in sync.

When the time came, they requested a car ride that dropped them in a place that definitely didn’t look like a club. Not the ones she frequented, at least. It was a big house that didn’t look like a frat, with a mechanical bull out front and a lot of drunk people. Rowan just said they should look for Fenrys and whoever was with him and held her hand. It was probably a meaningless thing, just trying not to lose each other in the crowd, but the moment his calloused hand gripped hers, Aelin could feel her whole body set alight just by that small act. She felt like an early teen getting noticed by her school crush. They only stopped walking when reached a table with two guys that looked a lot alike and… Elide and Lorcan? What the hell?

It turns out that Fenrys was a blonde guy with a brunette twin that left Aelin dying to ask if one of them painted their hair. They had been friends with Lorcan and Rowan forever, and even though Elide had only been seeing Lorcan for a few months, they acted like an old married couple so she already knew everyone in his life. After they were sat, Rowan carefully scooped closer to her, but didn’t go further because Lorcan suddenly snapped at her.

“Aren’t you dating that Kale guy?” No wonder why he had looked more annoyed than usual since she appeared holding hands with Rowan.

“Kale guy and I broke up.”

With an almost imperceptible smirk, he prompted “Good riddance.”

“Agreed.”

A bit after that, Elide asked Aelin to go get new drinks with her. When Lorcan and Rowan offered to do it, she shot daggers at both of them, leading to an apprehensive retreat. She meant business, them. After they had their Mojitos ready, Elide carefully stopped her from going back and whispered “Are you sure you’re okay? Lys told Aedion and I what happened, we were worried about you.”

“No need to fuss, losing my mind over that breakup is very six hours ago Aelin. I’m a new person now.” Aelin said that as a joke, but it was kind of true. She did feel different. Lighter. Anyway, she didn’t know what Elide saw in her at that moment, but it was enough to leave it alone for now. “Just don’t drink too much alcohol, you know the reactions it gives you.”

Aelin was genuinely confused now. “What reactions?”

“It makes your legs spread.” Elide wiggled her eyebrows and it was enough to make both of them crack up. The laughter had subsided a little when they reached the table, but Connall still asked what they were laughing about.

“We” —a brief pause. She couldn’t possibly tell the joke in front of Rowan now— “were wondering what exactly is this party.”

“A graduation party” Fenrys proudly answered.

“Cool. Who’s graduating?”

“I don’t know.”

The whole table seemed to stop a that. “What?”

“I’ve been going out with someone. Casually. She invited me to come to her friend’s graduation party but I asked her if I could bring a friend, since I’m only going to see her later.” A slow smirk. “So here y’all are. Enjoy the party.”

The whole crew still looked ashen a few beats later, when Rowan asked “So your version of ‘a friend’ is five people that girl doesn’t know?”

Fenrys looked completely confident when he smiled and answered “No need to fake outrage, you’re loving the free drinks.”

Honestly? She was. The drinks were flowing and Rowan’s friend group was really fun to be around. Except for Dorian and Nehemia, Chaol’s friends were always looking down on her for her life choices or political opinions. This change of scenario was refreshing.

Aelin couldn’t remember how many drinks she had, but she did remember promising Fenrys she’d ride the mechanical bull later. Apparently, ‘later’ was now. At first, she couldn’t get up on the bull, so Rowan went to her rescue and propped his hands so she could step on them to get her right leg on the other side of it. But they probably had the same idea on getting her momentum, because when Aelin jumped to ride the bull, Rowan also pushed her feet up, which sent her airborne until she landed on the other side of the air mattress. Aelin could barely distinguish Rowan’s voice asking if she was okay from all the laughter in the room, and it turns out she was laughing too. In fact, she really hoped Elide had it on camera.

On their second try she managed to land properly on the bull, and she felt glorious until that thing started moving. Aelin had no idea how much time she managed to stay sat on the bull, the only thing she knew was that she managed a few seconds before lying on it and holding on its neck with both arms like her life depended on it. She was really grateful for the spandex shorts Elide had brought for the occasion and ended up lending her, because otherwise she would be flashing everyone now. It probably wasn’t a long time after, but it certainly felt like a lifetime when the bull made a particularly sharp move and she finally fell. She would be grateful if her thigh didn’t hit one of the bull’s horns on her way down, which was likely to bruise soon.

Aelin had only a few seconds to lie down and reevaluate all her life choices that led to this mechanical bull until Rowan appeared before her. “Hey, you okay?” He looked concerned. Adorable. Little did he know she felt like she had died and came back by divine intervention. He checked her up and decided she was fine enough to go on, but the party started to fade away before she finished applying the ice pack that seemed to materialize on Rowan’s hand. The only thing he said to stop her complaining was “You’re injured, it’s absolutely necessary.” She wasn’t actually minding the hovering, but it was fun to tease him.

Elide, Lorcan and Fenrys already had plans that didn’t include them, but Connall was meeting his boyfriend Vaughan at another party and invited them along. Before making a decision, she quietly whispered to Rowan, “I don’t want to go to another party, but I really don’t want tonight to be over.”

“I live close by, we could go to my place if you feel like it,” Rowan suggested tentatively, but then quickly started to rectify his intentions “and I don’t mean anything by it, you know? We could just talk. Or not talk, really. Shit. I didn’t mean it like that.” —his cheeks reddened more each sentence— “What I’m trying to say is that whatever you want to do, I’ll be happy to oblige.” Rowan look positively ill by the end of his babble. She wondered if she’d ever see him that flustered without the booze.

The fact that Aelin would be going to her ex’s house was just a fleeting afterthought when she accepted the invitation.

They were very close to the exit of the house when a girl wearing a mortarboard hat and a bodycon dress bumped into them. Her shoulder slammed against Aelin’s, but she could smell a heavy scent of beer in her. The hostess, then. She looked confused to see both of them, but perked up again when Aelin started cheering her on. “Congratulations! And thank you for having us, we’re heading out now”

The girl sent Rowan a glance that didn’t hide she liked what she saw, then winked at Aelin before saying “You go ride that bull, girl.” The only answer she received was Aelin’s bark of laughter and Rowan’s mortified face.

Aelin decided his place was close enough to go by foot, but Rowan only agreed to it before checking how bad her bruises were looking and lending her his jacket so she wouldn’t catch a cold. She didn’t have the heart to tell him his jacket wasn’t going to stop a virus from entering her body.

Aelin looked up and sighed. “God, I could use a snack now.”

“There’s a 24-hour store nearby, wanna grab some food?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“What are you craving?”

She weighted her options a little before answering firmly “Cake.”

“Please don’t tell me you make those boxed cakes.” He looked horrified.

“Wrong. I don’t make any cakes. I’m very good at eating them, though.”

Rowan’s eyes glistened when he replied “Good to know. I’m very good at baking from scratch, but I’m not good at eating them.”

Aelin’s jaw was on the floor. She couldn’t have heard it right. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

He was laughing at her disbelief, which made her even more confused. How dare he. “I like to cook basically anything, but I find baking particularly relaxing when I’m stressed out, so I do it and then give it to someone else. I don’t like sweets.”

Oh my God. Was he even real? One person who only liked to bake, and another who only liked to eat. It was like they were meant to be. Aelin would never consider dating someone who didn’t like sweets, but this scenario turned out to be the best one she could imagine.

Inside the store, they settled for popcorn and also some booze.

“What do you want to drink?” Rowan asked her while reading the labels.

“Impress me.”

“Are you okay with red wine?”

“Red wine?” She tilted her head. “Are you trying to seduce me, Whitethorn?”

He had the gall to look sheepishly at her. “Only if you want me to.”

That made Aelin’s grin become predatory. “So you should know I’m a Pinot Noir kind of girl.” They only stared at each other for a while, the air heavy with the meaning of the words left unsaid. Then Rowan cleared his throat and chose some bottles.

When they finally got to the place he shared with Chaol and other two students, everything was dark and deadly quiet. Once in the kitchen, Aelin quickly settled into the role of sous chef. Except that this sous chef only helped when separating the ingredients and by giving moral support, but neither of them were calling her out on this. After baking, they happily sat on the kitchen floor with one bowl of popcorn and two glasses of wine while waiting for the chocolate cake to be ready —the one Rowan made from scratch, specially for her. She couldn’t get over this part—.

“So, don’t get me wrong, but your parents are those two big names in Terrasen’s politics. What made you go to med school?” People meddling in her career was a bit of a sour spot in her life, but he didn’t sound judgy, only curious. That was probably why she managed to give him a real answer, without being snarky.

“Honestly? I don’t know. The idea of healing people excited me, so I told my parents I wanted to be a doctor when I was eight years old. That never changed, and they were surprisingly cool about it. I’ve never felt like a rebel because I always had a choice.” Rowan looked proudly at her, so she prompted. “You?”

“I’ve never felt a huge calling for any profession. When the time came, I chose International Relations because it felt right. I wanted to be a bird when I was a kid.”

Aelin cackled hard at that. “Yes! How is this so fitting? You hover like an old Buzzard.”

He looked confused, until he was laughing along with her. If Aelin was sober, she’d worry about enjoying Rowan’s company way too much. She settled with the thought that it was just refreshing to spend time with someone who actually laughed at her jokes, that was all. When she came back to the moment, he was looking thoughtfully at her and running his thumb along her hand. She used her free hand to caress his cheek and he broke the silence a beat later.

“Are you still going after your ex’s dad?” Seriously? That was what he was thinking about?

Aelin’s hand that was resting on Rowan’s cheeks traveled to his silvery-blonde hair while she answered “I could really go for a silver fox now.”

His eyes widened slightly. “Mr. Westfall’s hair is not silver.”

“I know.” She was just glad he didn’t notice how terrible that pick up line was. Rowan just blinked as his whole face flushed. His mind was probably scrambling to something to say or do when they were interrupted.

“What. The. Fuck?” Said a very familiar voice.

She immediately noticed a smell of vodka and women’s perfume. When they looked up, Chaol was fuming on the kitchen entrance.

Rowan decided to start things peacefully. “Hey. I didn’t know you’d be here, you never stay in on the weekends.”

This was news to Aelin. “What does he mean you never stay home on the weekends?” Was she really that stupid?

“Get the fuck out of my relationship, Whitethorn—“

“Um, we broke up” Apparently, she still had to remind Chaol of this slight detail.

But he detected the smell of cake and continued. “Are you fucking baking for her? This is trying too hard to get in a girl’s pants, even for you.” Right now, Aelin’s only concern was on the oven. Was the cake ready? It smelled ready. She needed Chaol out of the kitchen soon. She was going to summon Rowan when she glanced at him and noticed he looked positively murderous.

“Seriously? You and the guys are the ones who eat my stuff the most. In fact, I’m practically the only one who cooks in this house. I saw you eat half a cake by yourself the other month, but you only tolerate me when it’s handy for you.”

“Can you blame me for not tolerating you when you’re foreplaying my girlfriend with chocolate cake? How long have you been planning this?” Aelin really couldn’t tell if Chaol was more pissed about her being with Rowan, or about her being fed by Rowan. But she decided to sort that out later, not wanting the cake to burn. She helped Rowan do it, it felt like it was her baby. Their baby. Whoa, too soon. She had too much to drink tonight. But then something clicked.

“Are you telling me you had access to half a cake and didn’t care to share with me, Chaol?”

He looked at her like she was a petulant child. “Aelin, we should go to my room and talk about this. I told you we can work things out. Going after Whitethorn just to spite me was a low blow, but I get why you’re angry. I see you, baby. It was just one mistake and honestly? It’d help a lot if your friends just stayed out of our relationship and—“

She had completely tuned him out by that point. Aelin was just nodding her head up and down, trying to distract him from Rowan and the cake. And Chaol seemed to believe her magnificent drunk acting. But then his red angry face and continuous babble —that actually meant something, but she didn’t feel like acknowledging it— reminded her of a tomato. Even better, of one of those Annoying Orange videos she used to watch a decade ago. She was trying not to laugh, but her shoulders were already shaking, and when Annoying Chaol stopped his speech and really looked at her, she couldn’t keep it together and started cracking up. Rowan sent her a confused look at first, but then started laughing too when he saw her amused expression.

Defeated, but too proud to assume so, Chaol just rolled his eyes and said “Come talk when you stop acting like a child.” before slamming the door and leaving the house. Both Rowan and Aelin managed to recompose themselves a bit before looking at the spot her ex was in and cackling again.

As she imagined, the cake was delicious. She was trying to eat as much as she could, but stopped when Rowan said she could take the whole thing home. He watched her in awe as she stood up, put both of her hands on the table and proudly announced “I’m going to take my ex’s advice and stop acting like a child. Do you want to see my last childish act, Buzzard?” Reluctantly pleased, he agreed and followed her up the stairs with two closed wine bottles.

Aelin couldn’t decide if it was a waste of Pinot Noir or not when she entered Chaol’s bedroom and painted his drawer with red wine. Shirts? Check. Underwear? Check. Very white socks? Check, check, check. Was tie dye still trending? She certainly hoped so.

She found Rowan propped against the doorframe, looking completely astonished. When she arched an eyebrow, waiting for a reproach, he just indulged her more. “You know, his bedsheets are looking awfully clean.”

“Remarkable observation, Buzzard.” Then she threw a bit more than half a bottle all over his bed, hoping it would stain not only the sheets. Two bottles of red wine spent on petty revenge, completely worth it. She hoped his other woman (or was it women?) would like the new theme. He could say he entered his new era. Finishing her abstract artwork, she schooled her face into a surprised look and said “Oh no! Now there’s only three beds! What are we going to do?”

“Do you think your ex will mind being the big spoon?” She cackled. Hard. It was difficult to picture tall, broody and brawny Rowan Whitethorn being the little spoon. He just put an offended hand on his chest and looked at Aelin in mock outrage. “Sexist much, Ace?” —Her new nickname falling like honey from his lips—, “Actually, I’m not even familiar with the wonders of little spooning. Girls always assume I’m going to be the big one.” Now, both of them were laughing, and somewhere between that and catching their breaths, Aelin held his hand and led him to his own room. He looked even more confused when she told him to lie down on his side. Rowan didn’t seem to catch up on her plans, but apparently he trusted her enough to oblige.

Their drunken mirth subsided at the same rate the tension grew. By the time Aelin laid behind Rowan, the room was deadly quiet. But it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, she felt… comfortable. It felt good to wrap one arm below Rowan’s neck and the other above his waist. At this point, she was certain they felt like two pieces falling into place. Aelin started using one of her arms to stroke his hair.

“Are you liking little spooning so far?”

The only answer she received was a grunt. “You are no better than a house cat.” was the only thing she said while continuing her work. She just wasn’t certain about her next step. He probably felt like this too, by the way his body shivered when she accidentally tucked her nose behind his neck and breathed right on his spine. So when he started lazily stroking her thigh from behind, the only warning she gave him was saying “Tell me if you want to stop,” before kissing down his neck.

His breathing turned heavier and she loved inhaling deeply his pine scent while kissing such a soft patch of skin. Rowan turned around, held himself up with one hand and brushed Aelin’s skin before dipping down and kissing her.

It was brief and tentative, but enough to feel the softness of his lips. For a beat they only looked at each other. She could see the gentle breeze coming from the window mess with a few wild strands of Rowan’s hair. When she focused back on his eyes, they were intent on her, its green shade even darker under the moonlight. He silently dipped his head and kissed her for real this time. And heaven didn’t get close to how she felt.

She could swear he was the oxygen that set her body on fire. She dragged her nails through the back of his scalp, making him shudder again and kiss her harder. Since Aelin had already learned his weak spots, it was only fair he learned hers. She moved them until she was straddling his thighs, grabbed a fistful of his hair and made him look into her eyes. Rowan looked completely captivated. Good enough to lead his mouth to her neck. By the time he was lavishing her collarbone, Aelin had started to move her hips against his, deepening the frenzy they were in. When she took his shirt off, she… stopped.

Sensing her hesitation, Rowan gazed at her and his eyes looked understanding. They were both drunk. This wasn’t a ‘now or never’ kind of situation, Aelin was almost certain she would still see a lot of Rowan. Soon. Besides, the little time she had before sunrise wasn’t enough to do all the things she wanted to do to him. Whatever was brewing between them, she had a feeling both of them thought it was going to be great. So she would take her time.

He kissed her forehead. The tip of her nose. Both of her cheekbones. Her chin. And then a peck on her lips. Another few ones. Until he started kissing her again for real, but this time it wasn’t essentially steamy. They were more on the soft side, and Aelin didn’t know which one she preferred. She was feeling hot as well before, but the main feeling she got now was affection. At that moment she was hit by the realization that she had never felt that much cherished by a lover before, and it felt incredible. Her connection with Rowan felt incredible. Even though they hadn’t paid attention to each other until twelve-ish hours ago.

There was some noise from the little movement on the streets, but nothing enough to burst the little bubble they created for themselves. They kissed and talked and laughed until the moonlight that gleamed on them was slowly replaced by the sunlight that was now painting their skins.

“Will you get mad if I tell you I’m actually glad I smashed your car?” Aelin was smiling as if she didn’t know she could get a law suit from this crash.

“No. In fact, I’d be offended if you were sorry at this point.” A brief kiss. “So, I don’t know when I’m getting back from my parents’s because I’m depending on Enda, but maybe I can see you tomorrow?” It was cute how hopeful he sounded.

“Weren’t you supposed to wait three days to text?”

His eyebrows rose dangerously close to his hairline. “You want me to wait three full days? That sounds like a terrible waste of time.”

She couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction. “Just kidding. Tomorrow is actually a slow day for me, text me when you’re free so we can figure something out.” She appeased him while saving her number on his phone. To her credit, he looked truly pleased now.

“Good. May I also send you a date suggestion? If it’s completely shit, you can make me wait three days.”

She kissed him for the last time that day.

“Tell me tomorrow.”

[lixiebokie]

through his lens

———————————————————————

idol: hwang hyunjin x reader

photographer!hyunjin x artist!reader

———————————————————————

chapter 2: new life

📸🌼📸🌼📸🌼📸🌼📸🌼📸🌼📸🌼📸🌼

“you sure you’re gonna be okay alone?” hyunjin tugged at your hands standing at the doorway you were trying to push him out of.

“i’ll be fine? make sure you don’t stay up too late. okay?”

“hmm.. what if i miss you tho?”

“then knock and if there’s no answer i’m sleeping dreaming of you!” hyunjin wrapped his arms around her before walking out the door waving goodbye.

“so how long have you and lover boy been together?” her roommate ash asked.

“hm? hyunjin? oh he’s not my boyfriend.”

“but you were litterally about to kiss?” she asked leaning against the door frame.

“we’re just really close, we’ve been friends since we were little.”

“so he’s single? good to know. feel sorry for his future girlfriends.” y/n was confused at her words. hyunjin has had girlfriends in the past just none of them have last more than 8 months without then getting jealous of her.

the dorm was small, but alright size for two people. and her roommate ashy was nice. they’d met while hyunjin was helping move box in, he was not fond of her at first but neither was y/n of his roommate. he was a small black haired boy with round eyes. she’d said hi while hyunjin was setting up his desk, but he ran away instantly and avoided any conversations with her or hyunjin.

atleast ashy was nice.

y/n still hoped she’d be able to swap rooms to maybe be with seungmin or even hyunjin if she was lucky. she heard jiha talking about how seungmin had been to the office trying to switch his dorm to share with hyunjin, as he’d ‘be more comfortable’ but they dismissed him as soon as he arrived. he must of not been the first that day to ask. seungmin was roomed with some boy called felix. over text min described him as really sweet, and someone she’d get along with very well.

jiha also has sent messages about her roommate to the groupchat. she was blonde, skinny girl with ‘the most stylish clothes’ she’d ever seen. jiha only judged people off looks, she didn’t say anything about what she was like. but that was typical for her.

ashy invited y/n to come visit her friends not wanting to leave her in the dorm on her own for the first night. y/n would have went but ashy wasn’t in her first year so the thought of older friends scared her. especially when ashy walked out the door with a cigarette in hand and some spray paint.

hyunjin had made his way back to her room.

it was no surprise. seungmin and jiha had betted how long it would be until he was back. seungmin won with the guess 1 hour and 5 minutes. he’d made himself at home. throwing his boots off as soon as he walked in, and threw him on the bed sheets she’d just put on. curled up in her bed scrolling through netflix on her laptop.

“y/n im serious, if we out her to the office and say you’re not comfortable they will have to switch you!”

“seungmin said there’s no free dorms for two people so i’d be stuck with another random person. and ashy’s nice.”

hyunjin groaned rolling his side.

“maybe we could get a flat off campus just us. not jiha or seungmin, us.”

she liked the idea but the 792,205 won in her bank said different. the idea of waking up to hyunjin every morning made her so happy.

when she was little, on the weekends if she wasn’t spending the night at his house she’d be straight over as soon she woke up. summer time was the best, they would play in the paddling pool in his garden until it was cold, then would be in his house building forts to watch movies until they fell asleep.

she wanted to be a kid again.

the only reason she had grown up was because hyunjin was by her side the whole way through.

hyunjin was now curled up against her tired of waiting for her answer. she knew if ashy came back any time soon she’d wake hyunjin up with the amount of screaming she do asking ‘how they were just friends’ but her and hyunjin weren’t just friends, they are best friends.

y/n also hoped the next day at uni hyunjin wasn’t so clingy. she loved him and his clingyness but it also attracted lots of attention between the two. ever since they were little, everyone thought they were meant to be.

when each set of parents talked about their wedding they’d always end it with ‘and one day you’ll be married to y/n / hyunjin.’

when they were 5 the other kids asked if they kissed each other, and kids having no common sense hyunjin would kiss her cheek every time they asked.

when they were 10 teachers had to ask them to stop being so cuddly because it was ‘inappropriate’

when they were 13 their friends whloe heartily shipped them, even though they knew how much it pissed them off.

even up until now at 19 they still get old woman asking how they were so lucky enough to find each other or how cute they were. like the other day in the shop.

hyunjin was never bothered by the comments, it was a sort of compliment to him, showing him and his best friend were proud to show each other off. but y/n on the other hand hated it. when she was younger it wasn’t t as bothering, but when hyunjin started getting noticed by girls and them shipping them that’s when it pissed her off.

but hyunjin never cared he’d not want to be shipped with anyone but his best friend.

📸🌼📸🌼📸🌼📸🌼📸🌼📸🌼📸🌼📸🌼

[dreamqueenkala]

COLLAR

(SECRET P.2)

Part 1

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WARNINGS: Oral(Female Receiving); Face-Riding; Biting/Marking; Bottom!Max; Collaring; Choking; Submissive!Max; Dirtytalk/Degradation/Praise; Unprotected Sex; Dom!Reader; Edging; Cuffing; Impregnation; Light Angst with a happy ending

Female Reader X Max Brinly

|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|

Its been three months since I left Hackett’s Quarry, and I was very slowly recovering from the trauma I gained that summer. My therapy sessions took place twice a month, and though they helped a little, I still found myself curling up and shying away from social situations. I found a job two months ago at a local cafe in town, along with a cheap apartment. It wasn’t hard to mask my feelings in public as it’s something I’ve done all my life, so I got by just fine.

After this past August, the other counselors and I took our own paths. Ryan and Jacob, like myself, decided against college, instead joining me in town. The two were roommates a few blocks away, and surprisingly they’d grown pretty close. Almost like surrogate brothers, they got along quite well. The group kept in touch through a groupchat, and I often saw the two send videos of each other in silly situations.

Dylan and Ryan, though they currently lived in different states, finally got together last month. Dylan became a really close friend of mine and we spent a lot of time FaceTiming. The brunette was head over heels for the mysteriously brooding individual, and the goofy smile he always had on his face during our calls when Ryan was mentioned made my heart both flutter excitedly and clench with shame.

I hadn’t heard from Laura and Max in a long while. Shortly after the sun had risen that next day, Max and Laura had reunited at the lodge. Clinging to each other, they’d muttered sweet ‘I love you’s and shared chaste kisses. Neither of them had spared me a glance, and after the events mere hours before between myself and the red headed male, my heart couldn’t stand the sight. So I left.

Neither of them had reached out to me, and I returned the favor. It was as if I no longer existed. I could see their Instagram posts of each other, sharing smiles and kisses in various places, cuddling or laughing, anything and everything they could together. It killed me to see it, so at one point I’d removed them from my feed. I didn’t want to know how happy they were together, not after everything we’d been through.

It was now late November, and I currently sat in Ryan and Jacob’s kitchen. Ryan, as per usual, was on the phone with Dylan, whom was currently in North Dakota packing to visit his boyfriend for thanksgiving. Jacob, however, was standing across the kitchen island from me, scrolling through his Instagram as we lightly chatted. His eyes lit up and he grinned, pausing the discussion for a second.

“You unfollowed Laura and Max, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, you know how bad it hurt to see them together after…” The ravenette shot me a sympathetic smile, thumbs tapping away at his screen.

“You should reach out to him.”

“No.” I immediately shook my head, toying with the fruit on my plate he’d given me. “Nu uh. Nope. I’m not giving myself false hope.”

“Hey, you never know! Things could work out for you two.” Jacob huffed, pouting at me with those puppy dog eyes of his. I rolled my own (E/C) eyes and shoved a strawberry in my mouth.

“Yeah, how’d that go with Emma?” He rolled his own eyes now, turning his phone screen to face me.

“You should call him.”

Curiosity getting the best of me, my eyes scanned his texts. My fork clattered to my plate as I read through the messages between Jacob and Max, lips parted and eyes wide.

TODAY

Max: Laura and I broke up. (11:36)

Jacob: Dude, for real? How’d she find out??? (11:38)

Max: She already knew. (11:39)

Max: Apparently I wasn’t very subtle. (11:39)

Jacob: No shit, I can see that. She’s not subtle either. (11:41)

Max: I don’t know what to do. I miss her. (11:45)

Jacob: Do you love her? (11:45)

Max: … (11:46)

Max: Yeah. (11:53)

Jacob: She’s at my place rn. She still loves you. (11:55)

Max: Rn? (12:01)

Max: She won’t even talk to me. (12:05)

Jacob: She thinks it’ll give her false hope. (12:05)

Max: Wtf?? False hope? (12:06)

Max: I literally fucked her in that treehouse, how tf is that false hope?? (12:07)

Jacob: Show her, dude. Idk what else to tell you. (12:11)

Max: Address? (12:17)

Jacob: Location Sent (12:19)

Max: OMW (12:23)

I blinked and tilted my head up to gaze at the cuddly jock, his smirk making my face flush. “You invited him, here!?”

“Nope. Gave him your address.” I stumbled onto my feet, fumbling for my keys as the male laughed behind me. “Hurry home! That was ten minutes ago!”

I dashed outside and into my car, turning the key to start the engine. My heart was racing and my skin was flushed, my mind running a thousand thoughts a second. I could vaguely feel the ghost of his lips on my neck, his hands on my hips, hear those deep growls he’d released—

A soft moan left my lips as I sped home at least ten miles above the speed limit. My apartment wasn’t far, I could only hope I’d get there before Max did. My fingers tapped at the wheel, my eyes alert but somehow unfocused, my thighs growing damp. If this was anything like what I was hoping, maybe Jacob would be right. Maybe I did need to just try.

Pulling into my apartment complex, I could barely see a familiar head of auburn locks stand from the open door of his car. I honked and he jumped, green eyes locking with my (E/C) ones as his head whipped around to face me. What was only mere seconds felt like an eternity, our eyes locked and our lips parted. I quickly sped past his car and parked next to him, slamming the breaks. The keys jangled in my hands as I slipped out of my car, the male already standing by my door. Inches apart, breathes mingling, we gazed at each other with wide, desperate eyes.

“(Y/N)…” His voice was hoarse and a bit deeper than I remembered, his hair a little longer and his height a few inches taller than he used to be.

“M-Max…” His eyes lit up and his hands cupped my face, thumbs caressing the skin under my eyes. I tilted my head and nuzzled his dominant palm, hands coming up to grasp his shirt. His breathes became shaky and his lips spread in a wobbly smile, forehead pressing to mine.

“God, I missed you.” He murmured, nose brushing mine and hands pulling me just a bit closer. “So, so much, (Y/N).”

“I missed you, too, Max. Every day. So much it hurt.” I whimpered, tears trickling from my eyes. The male brushed them away with his lips, kissing my cheeks and embracing me against his chest. “W-What happen—“

“Laura broke up with me. I wasn’t subtle about how I felt about you.” He explained, arms trembling as he held me close. “She’s not mad, she just wants us happy. I felt so shitty for it but I-I didn’t—“

“I love you.”

Max fell silent immediately, and I could hear his heart skip a beat. I squeezed his waist tightly and tilted my head up, pressing a sweet kiss to his neck.

“Say it again.”

“I love you, Max. I love you. I love you.” I murmured repeatedly, his breathes slowly calming and his tremors growing still. His body relaxed around me and I smiled at the happy laughter that spilled from his lips.

“I love you, too.” Leaning back, I gazed up at him with wide (E/C) eyes, his own green hues swimming with adoration.

“You’ve got a lot of time to make up for, Mister.” I huffed playfully, his grin widening. “Kiss me, dumbass.”

He did exactly that, his lips molded to mine and his hands in my soft (H/C) locks. Max held me as close as he could, his hips pressing me back against the door of my car. His teeth clashed with mine, tongue swirling between us, soft moans and whimpers leaving our lips. My hands slipped under his green sweater, nails clawing into his back. His brows furrowed and he groaned against my lips, rolling his hips forward against mine.

“Fuck—I need you, (Y/N).” He mumbled against my lips, both of us panting heavily.

“For good?”

“Always.”

Max followed me up the steps to my apartment, pressing me against the door the moment we stepped inside. I moaned as he peppered my throat with kisses and light nibbles, nose brushing my sleeve to the side. He chuckled as his tongue traced over the indents he’d left months ago, the bite having been deep enough to scar. Biting my lip, I shoved him away, locking my front door. He gazed at me with wide eyes, watching my tongue as it swiped over my lower lip, a glare on my face.

“You got to fuck me last time. Now it’s my turn, Max.” He swallowed, curling his fingers against his jeans as the tent in his pants grew a bit tighter. I pressed a hand to his chest, guiding him backwards til his knees hit my sofa. He fell on his ass, gazing up at me with subtle submission. “Stay.”

I darted down the hall to my bedroom, digging through the box under my bed. I withdrew two leather objects and a set of metal cuffs, hiding them behind my back. Returning to the living room, I grinned with satisfaction to find the male still sitting on the sofa, though his hands were down his pants. Growling, I made my way behind him and grasped his throat, pulling his head back to look at me. Max gasped and met my gaze with wide, lustful green eyes, his pupils blown.

“Did I tell you to touch yourself?” I purred, watching his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallowed. He shook his head and I squeezed his neck, a sharp whine leaving his lips. “Words.”

“N-No.”

“So you’re just a greedy little slut, then, aren’t you?” His cheeks flushed and his eyelids fluttered, cock twitching beneath his jeans at those words. “Thats my job, Max. Not yours.” I tilted his head forward and strapped the collar around his neck, leash attached. He reached up to touch it and I smacked his hand away, moving around the sofa to stand between his legs.

“Strip.” I demanded, already tugging at my own jeans and shirt. His eyes raked over my body as I moved to unclip my bra, dropping it to the floor. “Strip, Max.” Tugging on the leash, I repeated my demand, another sharp whine leaving his lips as the collar squeezed his throat lightly. Finally, the ginger obeyed, slipping his shirt over his head and tossing it to the side, followed by his jeans and his boxers. “Good boy.” He keened slightly, leaning into the palm I placed on his cheek as his eyes fluttered shut.

Forcing him to lay on his back along the sofa, I slipped my panties down and straddled his face, gazing down at him between my breasts. My soft (H/C) framed my face, my (E/C) darkened with my desire as my dripping cunt hovered over his face. “You better make me cum, Max, or I won’t let you cum. Do you understand?”

He whined, nipping at my thigh whilst his hands squeezed my hips, his eyes narrowed with challenge. “That’s not fair.” Gasping softly, I reached behind me and squeezed his cock in my hand, the ginger bucked his hips with a sharp cry.

“Fair?” I growled, his eyes widening at the dark tone of voice I possessed. “Fair!? What’s not fair is fucking me and leaving me dry, Max.” I snapped, reaching for the cuffs I’d dropped. I grasped his wrists in my hands and pinned them above his head, clicking the metal around his wrists. “You want fair? I’ll give you fair. You can’t touch me or yourself til you make me cum.”

“(Y/N)—!”

I silenced him with my hips, slamming my dripping cunt down over his lips. He moaned at the taste, tongue lapping at my thighs and nose brushing my clit immediately. His green eyes latched onto my own (E/C) hues, watching my face as he began to eat me out obediently. I leaned back whilst holding his hands above him with one hand, the other grasping his cock and stroking the length of it.

His body trembled at my touch, a sharp whine escaping his throat. Dropping his hands in favor of fisting the leash, I yanked hard. He choked slightly, cock throbbing in my hand and his toes curling from the pleasure. His tongue moved faster against my folds, wet slurping sounds coming from him as Max’s desperation to devour me began to take control. I moaned and rolled my hips, eyes fluttering shut as he ate me out.

“Just like that. Such a good boy, Max. Good little slut.” He moaned against my pussy, fingers clenching and unclenching as I stroked his cock. I rolled my hips faster, painting his face with my slick whilst my hand squeezed the base of his cock. His brows furrowed and he tilted his head back to breathe, yelping softly.

“F-Fuck!” He gasped, bucking his hips, the tip beading with precum and turning a deep red from the pressure. “Babe, please—“ I squeezed his cock again and he cried out, arching his back and writhing beneath me. He reached up with his cuffed hands and grasped my hips, trying to move me away.

“Hurts, huh? That’s how it felt for three months without you.” I hissed, feeling slightly bitter as I grasped his hair and forced his head down. “Make. Me. Cum.” He winced but the way his cock throbbed when I manhandled him that way made me grin, his tongue immediately returning to my clit. A soft sigh of relief left me and I licked my lips, stroking his hair and cheek lightly. “Good boy, Max. Such a beautiful man, you look so good beneath me.” His brows furrowed again and his eyes, now glazed with tears of both pleasure and pain, gazed up at me lovingly. His hands dropped from my legs, resting above his head voluntarily. Biting my lip, I whimpered and tossed my head back, his lips suckling at my clit sending me over the edge.

“Max!” I mewled, bucking my hips as my vision flashed white and I painted his face with my cum. He moaned and swiped his tongue over my cunt hungrily, obscene wet sounds and slurping emanating from him as he devoured my high. Panting, I released his cock, the appendage throbbing desperately and on the brink of release.

Slowly guiding my shaking legs off of him, I gazed over his cum soaked face, blissed out expression, teary eyes and heaving chest. Biting my lip, I leaned down and kissed him softly, our lips moving slowly as he woke from his daze. “So good for me, Max. So beautiful covered in my cum.” I mumbled, licking his cheek clean of my own fluid. Max keened slightly, nuzzling my cheek sweetly as he smiled.

“Please…” He mumbled hoarsely, bucking his hips into the cold air, cock brushing against my ass. I smiled and released his hands from the cuffs, watching him rub his raw wrists lightly.

“Let me fuck you Max.” I hummed, lifting my hips over his cock. He let his hands rest on my hips, sitting up slightly as I tugged at the leash. His lips met mine softly, his hands caressing my sides gently as I slipped the head of his cock inside me. A deep guttural groan left him, muffled by my tongue down his throat. His cock slipped deeper inside me til my clit brushed his pubes, our hips flush together. His fingers kneaded at the soft flesh of my thighs, hands trembling as he held me in place for a moment.

Max parted from the kiss long enough to breathe, wincing slightly. “F-Fuck…I-I think I’m gonna cum already.” He hissed, eying the spot between us where our bodies were joined together. I smiled and brushed his hair from his eyes, cradling his face against my voluptuous breasts as I lifted my hips. “A-Ah, shit—!” My hips slammed down hard on his dick, his body jolting and his hands digging into my flesh harshly. I nipped and sucked at the skin beneath his left ear, rolling my hips slowly and clamping down every time my clit brushed his abdomen. He winced and groaned, biting into the mark he’d left months prior as he throbbed.

I gasped as he came, my insides flooded with his warm release and his eyes screwed shut as they dripped with tears. Biting my lip, I stilled my hips and pressed chaste kisses to his cheeks, licking his tears away as he had done to me earlier. His arms slid up to embrace me, holding me close as he rolled us onto our sides. My back to the back of the sofa, his head nestled between my breasts, we both breathed in unison. My fingers threaded through his hair and his thumbs drew patterns along my spine, legs tangled and cock still buried inside me.

“I love you, (Y/N).” Max mumbled, peering up at me with adoration and pure, unfiltered joy in his green orbs, the sweetest smile on his freckled face. I smiled and bent my neck to kiss him lovingly, the sweetest giggle leaving my lips.

“I love you, too, Max. You’re a dork.” He snorted and nipped at my breasts playfully, eliciting another round of bountiful giggles from me.

“Your dork.”

“Always.”

…

“Can I take the collar off now?”

“Not a chance.”

[peonyblossom]

Hii 🥰

I saw this picture and thought it might inspire a fic or an edit (no pressure 🥰)

Stained Glass and Stuffed Animals

Book: Open Heart (takes place during book 2) Pairing(s): Aurora Emery x Sienna Trinh (pre-slash/implied); Sydney & The Gang Words: 750 Category: Platonic fluff Rating: General AO3 link here Summary: Sienna continues her own little tradition of Valentine's sleepovers with her friends, even if most of them already live in the same apartment. A/N: For @choicesficwriterscreations Valentine's Day Event "Focusing on other kinds of love" and @choicespride Valentine's Day Event "Sleepover"

“I made cookies!” Sienna cheered as soon as Sydney and Jackie entered the apartment. They’d had the latest shifts out of all of the gang, but were finally coming home to an apartment smelling of vanilla, sugar cookies, and sour candy. 

“Of course you did. I’d expect nothing less.” Sydney smiled walking into the kitchen to see said cookies. They were heart-shaped and had colorful candy in the center, looking almost like stained glass. “Oh wow these look awesome!” 

“I wanted to try something new and I saw these on Pinterest! They turned out way better than I expected for a first try.”

“This was your first try?” Jackie exclaimed, looking over Sydney’s shoulder. 

“Well… yeah, but I also made cupcakes earlier in case these didn’t turn out well.” 

“God, I love you.” Jackie left the kitchen to go change out of her work close and into her pajamas. Despite the fact that they lived together, they were having a ‘sleepover,’ which essentially meant sleeping on blow-up mattresses, sleeping bags, and the couch in the living room, pretending to have a sleepover. Except for Bryce, Rafael, and Kyra who didn’t live there. It was a real sleepover for them.

Valentine’s Day was different when almost the whole group was single, Sydney being the only one that wasn’t. A lot of the single people were working on Valentine’s Day anyway, so they were having their sleepover a couple days before. Sienna had been raised to believe that Valentine’s Day was to celebrate all types of love – not just romantic – so she had been hosting Valentine’s Day sleepovers with her friends for years.

“I’m gonna go change into my pajamas, then I will be back so we can start whatever wonderful sleepover activities you have planned.” Sydney chastely kissed Sienna’s cheek before going into his room to change. 

Sienna hummed as she brought her tray of cookies over to the sleepover setup in the living room, where Bryce, Rafael, and Kyra were waiting. She settled onto the couch, pulling a fuzzy blanket over her legs, and texted the roomie groupchat to tell them to get their butts out of their rooms and join her sleepover.

“Why are we doing this again?” Aurora asked, coming out of her room. 

“It’s my tradition! You’re doing it to make me happy.” Sienna smiled.

“Yeah, whatever.” Aurora tried to hide her smile as she sat next to Sienna on the couch. 

The rest of the roomies made their way out of their rooms to join Sienna, all of them getting comfortable on the various couches, mattresses, and blankets. Not to mention Sienna’s collection of Squishmallow friends. 

They quickly settled into the sleepover routine, never forgotten from their youths, despite most of them having not had a proper sleepover in years. What med student has time for that? The closest most of them had gotten in those years was accidentally falling asleep on the couch or a bed with their fellow med student roommates while they were both up late studying. Nevertheless, now they were watching Mean Girls, gossiping, painting each other's nails, and, of course, enjoying the treats Sienna had made them all. 

She knew that even if her friends poked fun at her for hosting a sleepover when most of them already lived together, she knew they were enjoying themselves. Everyone was smiling and laughing and cuddling with each other, late into the night. Eventually, everyone fell asleep except Sienna who carefully stepped over them to clean up the dirty dishes. Upon getting up off the couch, Aurora awoke, yawning quietly. She admired Sienna and how wonderfully she could host. Sienna didn’t notice Aurora was awake until she also got up and brought some more dirty dishes to Sienna in the kitchen.

“Oh, did I wake you?” Sienna whispered.

“Yeah, probably, but it’s okay. I don’t mind helping you clean up a little.” Aurora shrugged.

“Are you sure? I know you live here and all, but I’m still technically the host. Cleaning is my job, you know?” Sienna took the dirty dishes from Aurora and started rinsing them. 

“Yeah, it’s fine. I like cleaning.”

“Good. We need more of that around here.” Sienna smiled, blushing slightly. She watched as Aurora made her way back to the couch to attempt to go back to sleep. Once Sienna finished cleaning, she rejoined Aurora on the couch, cuddling up against her. Maybe spending Valentine’s Day single this year wasn’t so different. At least, it didn’t have to be.

[johannstutt413]

Everything below this line is sad. If you are not in a place to experience secondhand grief, feel free to skip this post.

You’ve been warned.

About two years ago (not really sure anymore), I lost a friend of mine to COVID. I didn’t know how to grieve, so I didn’t, but I had a reminder of a different kind of loss today and wondered why it hit me so hard. So, in an attempt to take a couple steps towards figuring out how to deal with the emotion without burying it in logic, I’m doing two things today.

The first is the bowls pictured above: Mexican lasagna, because we made lasagna together, and she was a Latino-American ball of sunshine. The one on the right is hers, my roommates and I are gonna leave that one be for a while (hopefully the cats respect that), the one on the left and the rest of the pan are for the household. Yay lunch.

The second is talking about her, and I’m doing this here because I can trust Tumblr to leave this public but not broadcast to a mob of people who will assault me verbally for needing an outlet. As I’ve done so often (albeit not much recently), I’m gonna tell a story. A true story this time. Here’s another chance to leave before things get really emotional.

I met Alicia in my freshman year of high school; she was running for class president, and I’d just arrived a few days late to the school year because I’d transferred out of Big-Ass Public School to Small Charter School. We had a couple classes together, and we talked to some of the same people, but ultimately the only reason it went any further was because she asked me for my phone number. I was on a pay-per-minute plan which I rapidly started chewing through (and eventually upgrading to a normal unlimited talk/text plan) almost exclusively because of her. We got to know each other pretty well as friends; I asked her out on a date in a rather muddled way, and for the next couple years I lived in a limbo thinking I was in some will-they-won’t-they teen drama.

That was not the case.

She was a leading member of the school’s robotics club; around junior year, I joined that club because she was in it and my parents wanted me to build on my college application checklist. It was not a good fit, and I took that out on a few people, her included. I tried ghosting her. She didn’t make that easy. I appreciate that now a lot more than I did then.

During senior year, as everyone made plans, we chose disparate paths: she chose to attend the local college for a degree in social work, because if anyone could save the world it was certainly her, and I decided I wanted to be anywhere but where she was. That ended up being enlisting; i joined my country’s military for a few reasons, but the honest truth was trying to escape responsibility for taking the closest relationship I’ve had with someone and throwing it away through pettiness and poor reading of social cues. It may be the one thing I hate that my autism has contributed to.

Training took a while; when I was about to leave for my first duty station, I went back home to say my goodbyes to family and friends, her included. We cleared the air between us - on my end, for the first time ever, for her it was more of an “oh that explains a lot.” We wished each other the best. Our lives continued without really intersecting too much.

COVID wasn’t a bad time for me - it hit before I actually started working, so I had time to kill, and it a way it saved my prospects as a service member because I was flunking the physical requirements hardcore and the lockdown bought me some time. I started writing fanfic seriously, leading to this blog here. I’d made new friends based on shared interests and occupation, we played DND together, and I was sure that despite her severe medical conditions which put her at risk that she was behaving wisely. She wouldn’t have any issues with COVID, I told myself, and she told me once I believe. She was always smarter than she thought she was… but she needed to see people too, she needed that social interaction, and she was working as a cleaner alongside her classes.

I don’t know which of those actually killed her. I don’t particularly think it would make it any easier.

I didn’t know what to do with the news she died. So many emotions flooded my field of vision I didn’t process any of them; when my folks told me there would be a funeral, I skipped out, didn’t think it do me any good to stand in front of a grave with some amount of people and say words to a person who couldn’t hear them… I’m sorry, past me, but you really fucked us there.

A few years passed. I’ve gotten into a couple other fandoms since then - namely, Hololive and by extension the game Weiss/Schwarz which has Hololive cards in it. A streamer from that group, Tsukumo Sana, had to quit streaming as that character after I joined the fandom, and it hit me much harder than I expected. I thought I was feeling other people’s pain, and until today lumped it to the side with that assumption. It didn’t occur to me that I was feeling echoes of my own pain refracted in another form, one loss reminding me of another. I simply carried on with my business, crying on very rare occasion. Crying takes up to time, and I only had so much of that to do what I wanted to with it since by that point I’d started doing what the military trained me for, what I volunteered to do.

This is where Weiss/Schwarz comes in. I’m a creator, I create things, and that includes custom cards when I get into a new card game. A while back I made some Ina and Sana cards because neither of them had enough to play a full deck with just the two of them represented as characters. I mentioned this yesterday in a Discord server for custom cards, and someone suggested a set that gave additional cards to all of the retired characters - the ones the casual majority are aware of, at least - would be nice to have. I started working on that this morning, and seeing lovingly created art of these characters before and after they retired, before and after thousands of people’s’ best wishes for those people were crushed by circumstances beyond their control, before and after those characters essentially “died”… I finally made the connection. I wasn’t feeling the level of grief i have been for anime characters whose seiyuus (voice actresses) had stopped acting for. I was feeling grief I’d kept repressed for years by this point because it felt easier to do that than reflect on myself…

Alicia, I’m sorry it took this long for me to figure that out. I’m sorry I wasn’t there with you when you were dying, that I didn’t go to your funeral, that I ran in the opposite direction from anything to do with you because I didn’t want to be wrong about my chances at more than a friendship with you. I’m sorry to myself I buried all this shit in the deepest corners of my mind to avoid having to experience temporary pain, because now I’m experiencing the pain and the guilt of knowing I could have dealt with this better. Hindsight’s only 20/20 when you’re not half-blind, but I’ll try not to have such thick sunglasses on going forward.

I loved you, Alicia. I still do. I hope that the God you served with such fervor tells you that, and that one day I’ll be able to say it you personally.

I hope you enjoy the lasagna. I’m gonna eat mine now. Until we see each other again, friend.

-Johann

[notfknapplicable]

6648

Things may be looking up on the housing front.  I’ve found an apartment in a neighborhood that I LOVE at a price that works for me.  It’s walkable from campus (which is perfect bc my car is definitely gonna tucker out soon) and it’s privately owned (no predatory property management, just a retiree renting out a house she owns) and it’s a triplex so I’d only have one person above me and be sharing no walls with anyone.  The other tenants are locals, not college kids (fuck undergrads I hate them and do not want to be near them).  I am definitely anxious about people getting pissy about my weed smoking, especially after the last apartment neighbor who was literally calling the police over the smell of pot smoke.  Fuck you bitch!  I still hate you.  But the experience really put the fear in me and I don’t want white people using the police against me like that.  I don’t want to be in that position ever again.  Absolutely terrifying experience of having police banging on my door and shining lights in my windows over something that wasn’t even illegal.  One comforting thing about possibly moving in with my extremely chaotic friend was that she is a stoner too and weed wouldn’t be a problem at all inside the house.  But I’m very anxious about my neighbors possibly being squares who call the cops over the smell of smoke. 

I’m gonna go see the place tomorrow, and hopefully it will be what I need it to be.  I really really don’t want to live with my friend.  Becoming roommates is a thing that can destroy friendships, and she is a very messy person (I was in her house on Monday and every dish was dirty, every surface in the kitchen was covered in dirty dishes too - absolutely not!) with so much chaos in her personal life right now.  I absolutely do not want to live with her boyfriend either and I don’t trust that she’ll follow through with rescinding her invitation to have him move in.  It would be best for me to just find my own spot. Oh yeah - after offering to let me move in with her months ago, she suddenly texted me late last week to inform me that her new boyfriend (unemployed with 4 young children) that she met 2 months ago was moving in with us.  I was willing to go through with it since I literally had no other options, but I spent my weekend getting no sleep and crying. Like, full-on sobbing.  We met to talk about it on Monday and I was pretty direct about my concerns, and of course he told all the parent lies (”they’ll be in bed by 9 every night!” “they’ll be quiet, I promise” etc) and was generally smug and opinionated.  Not my type of guy at all, and definitely not my type of roommate.  So yeah, I need this apartment to work out.

[shadowsong26fic]

Papa and J-----, 28 August ‘34

Author: shadowsong26

Rating: PG/PG-13

Fandom: Les Misérables

Characters: Technically all on-page characters are OCs; Valjean, Cosette, Marius, and Javert are discussed as historical personalities. Backstory Cosette/Marius and heavily implied Valjean/Javert.

Warnings: Nothing specific, I don’t think?

Summary: Euphrasie Pontmercy--known in the art world as La Jardinière--isn’t exactly a household name. Still, the sheer length of her active career (her work was first displayed and sold in 1839, and she left one last work unfinished at her death in 1910) makes her interesting to people who actually study that century in art. But as far as the historical record is concerned, Jardinière seems to have sprung semi-fully-formed from the streets of Paris somewhere in the mid-to-late 1820s. Other than the fact that she was educated in a convent, essentially nothing is known about her parents or her childhood.

Until now.

Or:

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a PhD student with no thesis topic must be in want of an undiscovered painting to go absolutely feral over.

Disclaimer: All characters are the property of their respective creators.

Notes: So, this story came out of a midnight/one am rambling conversation with my roommate @tigerkat24. And then we realized it was interesting enough to be worth, like, polishing up and turning into an Actual Thing (translation: tigerkat dared me to actually write it and I was like ‘you know I really could’), so here we are. As the title implies, this is an AU timeline--short version, Javert didn’t die; he went to talk to Valjean some time later, and then just sort of…never left; Valjean also successfully failed to pine away in 1833. All other relevant AU details should be included within the text of the fic, which is set in a vague Present Day. My knowledge is primarily of the musical, though I have drawn in a few details from what I remember of reading (an abridged version of) the novel years ago; tigerkat just read it and has also provided some additional notes/helpful bits and pieces to draw in.

It all started on a blind date.

Which, I mean, when I tell people that’s how I met the love of my life, they assume I mean Phil. Don’t get me wrong, Phil is great, and I love having him in my life and have no intention of changing that any time soon. But he’s not what I’m talking about.

Phil was a friend of a friend of my roommate; I was working on finalizing my thesis topic for my PhD (art history, with a planned focus on the intersection of technological changes and shifts in the art world in the middle third of the nineteenth century). He worked in a bank, not at the university, which was probably for the best. Academia is a small world, and it can get super incestuous when ninety-five percent of the people you meet are, if not actually in your fairly small field, in something related.

So, Phil wasn’t an academic (although he had worked as a freelance translator while getting his CPA), and math (especially money math) has never exactly been my strong suit, but we found plenty of other things to talk about. A shared fondness for murder mysteries, the more ridiculous the better; a couple of fandoms in common; a similar sense of humor. And he was over the moon proud of his older sister, who was apparently making a major name for herself in the world of classical piano, so. You know. He clearly appreciated super-nerdy niche careers, even if he didn’t have one himself.

Besides, it was nice to get a break from going through all of the preliminary research I’d gathered, trying to find a thread to follow and spin into my actual thesis.

It was even nicer when the Agatha Christie movie we saw was better than we expected, and then we spent almost two hours at my favorite Middle Eastern place (best falafel in town) just talking, until they kicked us out at closing time.

Phil was sweet, and kind, and funny, and I’ve always been a sucker for boys with big blue eyes.

Naturally, we ended up back at his place.

He lived at home with his parents--which, no judgement; I’d probably still be living with mine if I hadn’t had to move halfway across the country for my PhD program--but they were out of town for the week, and I like to give my roommate a little more notice before asking for privacy.

His couch was also a hell of a lot nicer than mine.

We’d been getting into a nice rhythm, and then Phil had come up for air--and to strip his shirt the rest of the way off--when it caught my eye.

I’m still not sure what exactly drew my attention. The piece isn’t large; including the frame, it’s only a little bit bigger than a standard letter-sized piece of paper. A simple portrait of two men at a window; one seated, the other standing.

“Oh, hey, what’s that?” I asked.

“Huh?” Phil said, blinking a couple of times, then turning his head to see what I was looking at. “Uh…the painting? It’s…a painting? I don’t know, it’s been there for as long as I can remember.”

“Right,” I said, sitting half-propped-up on my elbows, still looking more at the painting than the (admittedly very pleasant) view of shirtless Phil. “…sorry. Uh. Art nerd brain activating.”

“…right,” he said, and sighed a little, but sat all the way up himself, climbing off me and pulling one of the couch cushions over onto his lap.

“Thanks. Sorry again. Can I take a closer look?”

“Go ahead,” he said.

I smiled at him and headed over to the other side of the room, leaving my own shirt behind.

Could be anywhere from the late 1820s to the 1840s, I guess, I thought. Men’s fashion didn’t provide as many clues as women’s fashion in that period. At least not to me--while I had done some research into fashion and textiles, if only because I was interested in the development of dyes and other pigments, my focus had always been more on painting.

My phone was on the coffee table, right where I’d dumped it when it started getting in the way; I picked it up. “Can I…?” I asked.

“Sure,” Phil said, running a hand through his hair.

“Great.” I took a quick picture of the painting on the wall--I knew a couple people who might have a better time dating it by the clothing than I would.

Right. So, I have at least a vague time period. What else?

The subjects weren’t young men; I’d guess both were somewhere between fifty and seventy or so. The seated man seemed like the older of the two, but that was hard to gauge even with a photograph. He had broad shoulders, a full beard; was wearing a fairly plain dark suit. First impression: quiet, steady, calm, strong. A vague melancholy, but not overwhelming. Just a general vibe.

The other man was positioned just to the side of and slightly behind the chair, standing absolutely perfectly straight--but not stiff; more like the kind of ingrained upright perfection you see in career military men. Impressive muttonchops, rather than a full beard. Everything about him said stern, severe; except for one hand, resting almost gently on the back of the chair.

It was definitely posed--most portraits before the Impressionists were anyway--but there was almost a sort of casual intimacy to it, anyway. What kind, I couldn’t say. But whoever these men were, they were close. One way or another.

“Do you know who the artist was?” I asked.

“Uh, my great-great-something grandmother, I think?” Phil said. He got up off the couch and wandered over to stand next to me. “Like I said, it’s been hanging there as long as I can remember, and I think it’s been in the family forever.”

“Right.”

With that in mind, it could have been an amateur piece; plenty of upper-class and bourgeois women and girls studied painting as just part of how to become an Accomplished Young Lady. But there was something familiar nagging at the corner of my mind. Something about the hand on the back of the chair, or the eyes, or…

If I could get a closer look, really get into the fine detail of brush strokes and other aspects of the composition, maybe it’d fall into place. But the style was definitely familiar, and not in the sense of ‘this was the work of a talented schoolgirl; I’ve seen half a dozen like it before.’

More specific than that.

“What was her name, do you know?”

“Family stories always call her Mémé Cosette,” he said. “But that was a nickname, I think. Her real name was…very French, but, well, that side of my family’s French so that’s, uh, not really surprising.” He frowned. “I know I know it, hang on.”

Well, worth a shot. “Maybe it’ll come to you in a minute,” I said. “Is this the original frame?”

“Far as I know,” he said. “Sorry, like I said, it’s been there forever. Just sort of…part of the living room.”

So, maybe. “Can I take it down? I’ll be careful, I promise.”

“Sure,” he said. “…Emilie? It started with an E, I’m absolutely sure.”

“Right,” I said, absently, focused on taking the wooden frame off the wall.

A simple thing, and definitely actual wood, not plastic; probably not brand new. So, it could have been original, or not too much later than the portrait. Or it could have been a decent frame from ten years ago. Once again, hard to say for sure without further study.

I flipped it over. There was a handwritten inscription on the back.

Papa et J---- 28 août ’34.

And the handwriting was--

Oh my God.

“Eugenie? No, that’s not--Euphrasie? Yeah, I think that’s it.”

I had always thought that, when people said their heart skipped a beat, it was a poetic exaggeration. But, hand to God, in that moment, mine did.

“Ari?” Phil asked. “You okay?”

“Euphrasie,” I said. “Euphrasie Pontmercy?”

“That…sounds right,” he said. “…wait, you know her? Uh, of her?”

I turned the painting back over, and--yeah, yes, absolutely, that was it. That was what I was seeing--the distinctive way she did detail work in her early period, particularly in the shading around the eyes and hands in her rare portraits. The things that show the most humanity, as one of my high school drawing teachers had put it. I’d still need a closer look, outside the frame, to be absolutely sure, but.

“I--yeah,” I said. “Yeah, I…I know her.”

And the inscription on the back--Papa et J----, 28 août ’34. Papa and J----, August 28, ‘34. 1834, obviously. And--Papa.

Holy fucking shit.

“Wait,” Phil said. “Was…was Mémé Cosette actually famous? Like, people study her?”

“She was pretty well known for a while, but mostly it’s the length of her career that makes her interesting,” I said. “Not like she was a major player in any of the art movements she was on the fringes of, but she adapted some of their techniques to her own style as time went on, and…yes. Yes, people study her.” I took a breath. “Is there…do you think there’s any chance your parents would let me borrow this? To do more detailed study and analysis, I mean. Maybe. Maybe write a paper?” Or a thesis?

“Probably,” he said. “I mean, you can always ask, and I don’t see any reason why they’d say no?”

“Great,” I said. “Uh. Just let me…” I took a couple more pictures with my phone--the portrait, the frame, the inscription--and then carefully, and hopefully without being too obviously reluctant, hung it back in its place on the wall. “…I’m sorry, Phil, I have to…”

“Yeah, of course,” he said. “Rain check?”

I blinked and--we’d had a good time, before I sort of ruined it, and he was very beautiful, standing there with his shirt off and those big blue eyes. “Definitely,” I said, leaning in to give him a very quick peck on the lips on my way to collect my shirt. “I’ll call you. For more than just the painting. Promise.”

He smiled, and. Oh, yeah. Definitely calling him back.

Later. In a few days.

First, though. That painting.

[icingsweet]

wc: works with percy!

CAT, 28, GMT;  SHE/THEY. | if you’re hearing ANTAGONIST by NOVA TWINS playing, you have to know ERIN WILLIAMS  (THEY/HE; ENBY) is near by! the 25 year old BARTENDER has been in denver for, like, 5 YEARS. they’re known to be quite CYNICAL, but being RELENTLESS seems to balance that out. or maybe it’s the fact that they resemble QUINTESSA SWINDELL. personally, i’d love to know more about them seeing as how they’ve got those WEARING SUNGLASSES INSIDE, HEADPHONES ON, PATCHES AND PINS, and UNANSWERED TEXTS vibes. and maybe i’ll get my chance if i hang out around LAKERIDGE DISTRICT long enough! 

BASICS:

NAME: erin williams.

NIKNAMES: will accept rin.

AGE: twenty-five.

BIRTHDAY: february 10th.

ETHNICITY: african-american and white. 

GENDER AND PRONOUNS: non-binary, they/he. 

SEXUALITY: pansexual.

OCCUPATION: bartender.

CONNECTIONS:

banks - roomie, before and after incarceration.

unnamed third roomie - wanted connection!

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

unnamed third roomie

friend (erin doesn't make friends easily!)

ex-friends with benefits

enemies

PHYSICAL:

HAIR COLOUR: brown.

EYE COLOUR: brown.

HEIGHT: 5 foot 3 inches.

PIERCINGS: septum piercing. 

TATTOOS: little pieces around their body until they can afford a big piece. 

SCARS: hands, noticeable the palm side on their right hand. 

BIOGRAPHY:

tw: fighting / glass injuries. 

It’s always been him looking out for himself. Life for Erin growing up was group homes and residential child care before they aged out of the system, having no connections and no supportive networks they learned from an early age that they had to be ​self-sufficient because there wasn’t any other choice. 

Before ending up in Colorado, but by no means settling, they moved around from grubby motel to grubby motel trying to survive on the scraps their minimum wage jobs gave them. Even though Denver offers another dead-end job they now have a small apartment with two roommates - that’s the first time they’ve had an ounce of support so it was worth sticking around.

While Banks was always a live wire there was more to him than that. Once you got passed the tough exterior he was goofy and protective — it was the first time somebody was protective over Erin it was the latter in combination with his temper which was dangerous. Late one night the two were headed home from a club when somebody couldn’t hold their mouth, and like a natural reflex Erin always gave as good as they got, until the other swung an empty bottle they tried to stop with their hand. All they remember is blood and the look on Banks' face. 

While Erin has a million conflicting thoughts about him being arrested, it boils down to how guilty they feel for not de-escalating the situation and as a result Erin tries to keep their anger in check. Even years later they still have trouble with their hand as a muscle the glass cut never healed back to normal, the scar tissue makes it difficult to stretch their hand and it’s noticeably weaker than the other. While their hands are generally littered with scars from previous jobs, mostly burn marks from being a barista, the ones on their palms are the most notable. 

OTHER:

Making friends is hard for them. If it’s not them being mentally and physically tired out after a long day or a resting bitch face, it’s their distrust for people and people’s intentions. They’ve met significantly more bad people than good. And if they’re good, what are they getting out of it and what do they want? It’s unrealistic to Erin. 

While Erin is known for being grumpy and irritated, it stems from their depression. They struggle to find enjoyment between work and bills, they constantly wonder why they’re unwanted, they feel guilty, and they have no interest in doing things outside of work as their hand injury stopped them from playing the one thing they enjoyed - their guitar. 

Erin would like to work with charities that offer assistance to those transitioning out of foster care, but that alongside singing is another pipe dream, as they envision their life struggling to pay rent forever more. 

[agirlyouknow]

a sexual dilemma

So the man I’ve wanted to fuck for 3 years shows up last night (he’s been elusive af, we worked together from 2019-2022).

We made out during quarantine after months of late texts and phone calls and flirting at work. He was v v v awkward, slightly Autistic, and 14 years older than me, and married with a kid.

However, it’s a sad marriage where they fight all the time, the kid sets fires in the back yard when the fight (!!!???!!!), and they haven’t had sex in nearly a decade.

Enter: me over quarantine with the “you deserve to feel appreciated, you do so much for everyone else and it’s not fair you don’t feel fulfilled” because, yknow, he’s my physical type to a tee, and we made out and then he “no, I made vows, I can’t do this”.

Cool. Respect.

However the drunken phone calls continue, at this point he says I love you (fair, it had been two years at this point of frustrating back and forth elusiveness and him struggling against Catholic vows) and my feelings have passed, but I still care about him as a person because we did have a weird, deep, friendship bc most of our conversations weren’t sexual.

Now 3 months ago, he pops up after I get a different job and is very forward about needing to get fucked (also come to find out the nerve damage in his back is shot, so he’s going to be wheelchair bound in less than two years). I’m v “no, done with affairs, I’ll help you get laid tho” and we go down that path, then I start ignoring him bc I’m alskdjrbwjsfk about my boss.

Yesterday he texts me during the day (rare af) so we chat, and he ends up on this side of town and comes over (didn’t think that was gonna happen bc of the amount of times he never did. He’s only been over twice in three years and it wasn’t because of a lack of me trying).

It’s platonic, we hang out, a little flirty but not much more than “I haven’t seen you in ages!”. My roommate is also hanging out.

Then I walk him to his car after the “I took an oath, I can’t do this” and he asks why I’m walking him to his car and I just shrug and “I’m trying to make out again”. We sit in his car, he’s talking about how he was on some singles site texting girls to see how he felt about it, but ghosted all of them because he wasn’t into it (I got to read the messages and let me tell you I thrive on reading other peoples shit).

And then we make out because “I don’t know why, but you’re different”- which turns into road head, which turns into coming back to my house and giving him actual head and he cums and is v chill.

Then he leaves and blows up my phone for the rest of the night and calls twice and we keep chatting about shit.

So:

1) moral dilemma about marriage HOWEVER I don’t believe in marriage. I think it’s natural to meet many people you’re attracted to, I don’t think we’re meant to be a monogamous species, and I think life is short so as long as you’re not malicious about it 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

2) I also felt v little the whole time and think I might be gay so I’m not doing it again but

Idk. Open to discussing if I’m an asshole? Because I’m on the fence. Idk if this was a test from the Universe but I always joked that if it were, I’d fail it because he is my male physical type to a fucking tee.

But he seemed happy (duh), and if I can provide a blow job, or a spark of sunshine for someone who’s life is kinda tragic, I’m okay with that. And my Strict Catholic Upbringing™️ is arguing with me but also 🤷🏼‍♀️