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#if you cant tell im trying to get out of art block and like i have the inspiration but not the skill rn
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have you guys ever seen this man before
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zoppzoop · 4 months
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GAAHAHHHHH
#venting in the tags#maybe its just past darkness and the Bad Thoughts which i shouldnt listen to are clouding my brain too much#but i feel so fucking weird and inadequate over everything rn#im unable to work on drawings as i usually would have and its kinda plaguing everything which it should like yeah i love drawing but#i cant let just one aspect of me ruin everything. right? the fact that i havent been able to draw as well as i usually can should make me#feel sick to the stomach and unsure about everything i do but it happening and i hate it.#plus i got the ipad id saved up from the comms to buy and its fun and nice and all and maybe i just need more practice with it but i feel#like im not able to draw on it even more? and i spent the whole day trying to get used to it but its just not as good?? and then when i went#back to the no screen wacom i couldnt get a hang of it becuase idek its just not happening#and also the fucking art block wants me dead i swear i want to draw so bad and i have so many ideas but the moment i start anything its just#crumbles down into nothingness and i hate everything i do and gods fuck i want to cry but i can because there are people at home and#usually im a big 'crybaby' when im at home but i dont fucjing wanna be like that anymore like i can handly my shit myself im fine.#i dont need to just fuckinf cry abiut it becuase thats not gonna fox anything but also i feel like crying might just make me feel better#but then id have to hear shit from my family and i know theyre just teasing in a /pos way but i dont wanna fucking deal with that#plus my brother iust talking to him os annoying sometimes like he talks about things so condescendingly and fucking hel dude shut#the fuck up i dont need you telling me that my art is something people can 'just do' and the fact that i was able to get the ipad#'basically for free since i got that money from the little drawings i make' as if they dont fucking mean anything to you like#shut the fucking fuck up dude i worked hard on those and even though i dont like my own shit sometimes i still fucking work hard on those#fuck you you bitch#i think a lot of things are just piling up and i need to sleep#tomorrow will be a new dawn and a fresh start and maybe ill hate myself less#ps. note to anyone reading the tags#im fine i just needed to yell out and express my frustration a bit. some sleep will help surely.
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casualavocados · 2 months
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im gonna break down my last gifset: the second half of the ep12 intimacy scene, because nat and louis are such good actors ive been rendered slightly braindead more than once due to how well they SOLD this scene and SOLD ai di and chen yi's love for each other through their physicality.
WARNING: if you read this and then use the words top or bottom to describe anything going on here, i will deadass block you. ♥️ don't even think about it. ♥️
this is gonna be unhinged but the mix of horny and pure adoring each other is an ever-crisscrossing line that is simply underappreciated from what ive seen in previous posts of this particular part.
so they've been making out for a while with ai di in chen yi's lap and chen yi decides to push them over… i did not cut a single frame of this btw.
starting with the first two gifs:
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i love the way ai di's hand comes to rest perfectly at the nape of chen yi's neck during the impact. then there's a brief "are we gonna kiss?" half of a second before chen yi goes for ai di's neck. and ai di responds appreciatively: with his head tilted back, his hand in chen yi's hair… you see in the second gif his fingers curling a little, to gently trail his nails down chen yi's neck, wordlessly telling chen yi to keep going. and he does, moving from ai di's neck to his chest.
and here we get a moment of ai di going oh. his mouth literally opens a little wider—
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—and he lifts up his head as if to check that that's really chen yi doing this to him. all the while his hand has moved from chen yi's neck/hair to rubbing chen yi's shoulder. again in a reassuring "yes that's good" way, and also, i imagine, just for the sake of touching chen yi too.
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he looks at chen yi and then full body relaxes into feeling it, while still rubbing chen yi's shoulder. i cant get over ai di's face here, i can't. the whole shot is art, with chen yi kissing just below his ribs.
bc chen yi is so focused on adoring him, on pouring all this love he has for ai di into these gentle kisses and the way he's touching him, too: sliding his hand up ai di's chest to grip his shoulder in return. (also notice ai di's sweatshirt from four years ago hanging up in the background. chen yi has been waiting so long for this too and needs to show it.)
and then— WELL. then ai di slides his hand back up into chen yi's hair…
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and chen yi responds to the feeling of it immediately. it's almost like ai di is saying yes, that's good, now come here, and you see chen yi's eyes open and his body immediately follow that cue. perfect wordless communication. ai di's hand is literally pulling him closer (with barely any pressure) and chen yi instinctively responds to it by making his way back up with another soft kiss.
and ai di is watching him, waiting for him. chen yi's hand is sliding along ai di's chest again… you even see ai di's legs open a little at the end of the gif to make room for chen yi to take that space again.
and chen yi does. he really does:
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and he does that on purpose. (it's like he's responding to ai di's satisfaction by saying, "let me make it feel even better". while also saying "i love you this much".)
and ai di responds by intentionally adjusting himself to feel more of it:
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chen yi moves back from the neck kiss and ai di really said with his body: no, don't you dare take that pressure away.
there is so much going on in those two gifs. starting with the former: you can see ai di leaning back for the neck kiss, and then his hand moves down to chen yi's hip the instant he feels the pressure between his legs, in such a perfectly instinctive movement you can literally see his fingers tighten in chen yi's hair and his toes curl at the edge of the gif. he is completely 100% feeling it. he lifts his head to look.
—& i can't get over the way ai di is always trying to see, to watch chen yi doing this to him. it's chen yi. he has to make sure it's real. he has waited for and wanted this for so long and he isnt dreaming anymore.
and then in the latter: ai di tilts his head back again a little before his shift. his very intentional shifting of hips that physically lifts his back from the bed a little to align them more comfortably and to keep the friction. this movement stops chen yi from kissing ai di's neck again, bringing him to his mouth instead— but not until after ai di's hand on the back of chen yi's neck slides down to cup his cheek. (as if this whole gif says, not only "yes, that feels good, don't stop", but also, "i need you to know i love you".)
they kiss like that: pressed together, looking at each other, ai di cradling chen yi's face with one of his hands. you can see his thumb holding the base of chen yi's jaw in the next gif:
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while chen yi in turn pulls his arm out from underneath ai di to prop (only) his chest up a bit higher for the express purpose of just looking at ai di. feeling ai di touching him like this, too. both of them gentle and needy, adoring and eager; all of that fully communicated through their body language.
there is not an inch of them that isnt feeling this moment and isnt completely tuned in to both themselves and the other. it's so intimate and vulnerable and so intentional. and the fact that they are taking their time, always looking at each other, is what makes it so loving and sweet and is also exactly what makes it so hot.
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it's chen yi's turn now to check that this is real. to soak this all in and breathe. that's ai di beneath him. against him. loving him.
and it takes a full gif but ai di allows maybe 2 seconds more of looking at each other before reaching up and pulling chen yi into a deeper kiss. he's waited for this for so long—
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although first you see ai di's eyes flick down and back up. and let me tell you— he's not looking at chen yi's lips.
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chen yi's hand perfectly supports the back of ai di's head and neck as ai di surges up to wrap chen yi in his arms—cup the nape of chen yi's neck in his fingers—pulling himself up and chen yi closer in the same movement.
and this is when and why the camera pans away. because those kisses are getting deeper. they are locked in, they're attached, they are feeling all of it, everything is intentional and loving and very clear about where this scene will be going next.
i just— this is a lot, for me. because it is so intensely loving. and also so intensely horny. like, i've seen some good sex scenes, but it takes some really incredible acting to pull off seeming so fully, devotedly, in love, and be able to show that alongside and through attraction. personally? i haven't seen any bl actors do it better than nat and louis in this scene right here. please notice, as well, that all thirteen of these gifs are of one, continuous, shot.
simply put, it's a very. very. well done scene. AND I NEED TO CHEW DRYWALL.
(final note: a reminder of my warning at the start of this post bc i am serious. there are too many infinitesimal things happening in this scene for these characters to be reduced to stereotypes that, frankly, do not matter in real life. ♥️ no need to respond to this warning either… feel free to focus on what the post is saying instead.)
and that's why chen yi and ai di are better and more real than every other bl couple in existence. ok bye.
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withonly-sweetheart · 21 days
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Shades of Gray
Stylists and photographer; both such burdens but nothing can prepare you for the way Leon's arrival tips over your "shades of gray".
a/n: @chesue00 ... YOU LOVELY LITTLE MANIACAL GENUIS. I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH I CANT EVEN DESCRIBE IT HOPE YOU LIKE THIS ONE 😍😍😍
i was literally walking just walking you know i see that i have a notification from tumblr (if my slowass had checked the name i wouldve braced myself) but the post pops up
when i tell you i nearly hopped skipped and jumped like my friend gave me the weirdest look ever... like i cant tell you how much that art piece means to me its literally so hot im dying ahahhhhahhahhhh and i cant write smut for SHIT so future me revamp this when you learn the true smut writing ways....
tw: non explicit smut but just to be safe mdni!! also can u guess where the titles from.. heh
wc: 3.4k
“They might fire you with that attitude,” Ada muses quietly, humming to herself as she dusts off the camera lens, wiping it with such precision and care, something you couldn’t manage to do yourself.
You glare up at your superior from where you crouch at the legs of the tripod, scowling. “They can’t do that. I’m single handedly carrying this studio. How broke do you have to be to be both the one of the editors and the photographer?”
“Pretty broke,” she agrees with a small shrug.
“And it’s not even like the models are hot or anything,” you continue, exasperatedly, pinching the bridge of your nose in an attempt to shut your mouth before you say something you might regret. “I better get a promotion after this new guy.”
“Who knows?” Ada laughs, a soft, tinkling sound that seems to ease some of your tension. Between your job(s), there hasn’t been much time to relax, but the fact you storm around the studio with set shoulders, lips twisted in a frown never seems to bother her.
You suppose you should be grateful you have such a good friend. You just wish there was something worth her time here, because you sure aren’t.
<><><><>
“Room 3,” you read from the list, craning your neck to read the words scratched into the paper that’s plastered onto the wall. “Is that where she is?”
“He,” Ada corrects. “A guy, again. Isn’t that exciting?”
She means to sound eager, but you can hear how dry her tone is, and you can’t blame her. Most of the guys that show up are only here to have a quick session, earn some cash, try to get with one of the girls working on set, before rushing away, never to be seen again.
You place a tentative hand on her shoulder, rubbing the muscle there. “I’ll deal with it. You get some rest before the shoot, ‘kay?”
Her weary eyes find you, but they light up somewhat at your suggestion. Without another word, she nods and dips her head before walking off to the lounge. Ada’s overworked, you know that. The least you can do for her is this, right?
Ignoring the fact you’ve never actually done this before, you wipe your trembling, sweaty hands on your pants before sliding the door open.
The man sitting in the chair, eyes slicing to you from the mirror, face softening into a smile as you gawk in the doorway, unable to do much more than offer fragments of a sentence.
“Good,” he murmurs. “I thought you were the director.”
“Uhm. No.” You recognize him, a man you’ve only seen in stretched out movie posters that are plastered everywhere on your apartment block, a man only seen in the vivid ink on paper, on the pixels that cross your screen.
Now he’s really sitting here, in front of you, feet carrying you to stand right behind him. What the hell were you thinking? You meet his eyes in the mirror, too abashed to look directly.
"What are you doing here?" you blurt out in surprise. "You’re an actor! This isn't exactly your scene."
"Is that how you greet a guest?" With an arched brow, he gestures to the cluttered room. "And I could say the same for you. It seems like I'm not the only one who's a little lost."
"You have no idea," you mutter.
"Ah, there it is." Leon leans back, tilting his head to stare up at you, regarding you curiously. "So what’s happening? This your therapy session?"
You glance down and flash a tentative grin. Reaching around him, you quickly wet your hands, then card them through Leon's bronzed hair, working out the tangles and smoothing it into place.
His shoulders tense when your fingertips make contact with the back of his neck, eyes narrowing down at the ground.
"Your hands..." he murmurs unexpectedly. "They're so soft."
You pause, fingers stilling to look down, only to find his eyes closed, a faint smirk playing at his lips. You smile to yourself, feeling a flutter of pride in your work. It had been a long time since you’d done this for a friend, since Ada often recoils at your touch. "Well, you know, this is kinda my thing. Taking care of models, seeing they're relaxed."
“You’re pretty good at it,” he muses.
You feel heat sear your neck and gulp, reaching for some of the confidence that abandons you quickly. "Alright pretty boy, time to get you camera-ready." Spritzing some product, you sculpt his hair into what the director had requested - “tousled but not too tousled, sexy without trying too hard.”
Whatever the hell that meant.
Your hands move fast, eager with a purpose. Under your touch, Leon seems further away, lost in thoughts. When you’re close to finishing, he lifts his head again to meet your gaze.
“I’ll assume you already know my name,” he remarks. “You’ve watched my work?”
“Kinda hard not to.” You don’t mean for it to sound so condescending, but he just squints back up at you as you massage some kind of lotion into his scalp.
“You wouldn’t, by chance, know Ada, would you?” he asks quietly.
“‘Course,” you say with a soft chuckle. “She’s the only reason I have this job.”
Leon nods understandingly. "Sounds just like her. She’s got a way of reeling people in." A wry smile plays on his lips. "So what's next - you joining in on the shoot?"
"Over my dead body," you reply hastily. Leon tilts his head, the silent question molding into acceptance as you continue, "No, I'm just playing assistant for the day, making sure Ada and the girls have what they need. Shouldn't be too hard, right?"
Somehow, looking at Leon's amused expression, you have a feeling you’ll be in for a lot more than that. But that must be the week-old guacamole you bought from Chipotle and ate for lunch today.
<><><><>
The shoot seems to be running smoothly, at least on the outside, when you’re finally done fussing over the minor details, checking off a mental list and trying really hard not to let your gaze dip a little lower than it should.
He doesn’t notice. Of course he doesn’t. He’s at least twenty years older than you. It only worked one way, didn’t it? Always did.
Next to the camera, you’ve taped reference pictures of other models artfully draped across ornate furniture, all courtesy of your work. You don’t exactly know what Leon’s advertising, but you caught a hint of the lavender rosemary liquid Helena was working on last week, so you assume it must be a fragrance shoot.
You spot Ada immediately, lounging on a chaise with one leg extended gracefully. Her emerald gaze flickers over as you approach.
"Well it's about time," she calls out, clapping her hands as she stands. "Hair and makeup, ten minutes ago."
Leon cracks a bemused smile. "We're here now, aren't we? Lead the way, assistant."
“How do you even know her?” you ask, slightly curious about their past, as you usher him into the couch.
“Acquaintances from our old job,” he mutters. And you quickly notice that something’s wrong. Leon looks too tense against the soft, relaxed background, too stressed as he frowns up at you, hands clasped between his spread legs.
So you do what you do best. You kneel in front of him, resting a hand on the ball of his knee. Once again, he steels at your touch, then relaxes, and you look up at him to see his jaw working, as if swallowing his words.
"What do you think you’re doing? Leon whispers, catching your wandering eyes.
“Just trying to help,” you say casually, with a shrug. It was safe to say you know what you’re doing, and even better, you can see it’s working. The corner of his mouth bunches up into a shit-eating grin, just the look you need.
<><><><>
Thirty minutes later, and not a single photo has pleased the director. He sits there like a goddamn statue, flickers of emotion passing his face only when spares a glimpse to the photos Ada calmly hands to him.
Her eyes are seething but her tone is level as she tells you in a low whisper, “I need some coffee or I will choke him.”
You know what that means. So, as if you’re programmed to do it, you swing by the cafe and pick up her coffee, two pumps of almond milk and light ice; the amount of times she’s sent you to fetch her drink is so absurd you’ve memorized it without meaning to.
You’re imagining the way her face will light up at the caffeinated drink chilling your hand, switching it to ease the strain on your fingers, when you turn the corner just as someone else does.
This someone else becomes only apparent to you after you’re done scolding them for not watching where they’re going, staring down at their faintly recognizable, designer brand, worn out shoes that currently have cappuccino dripping onto the material.
You drag your eyes up, ready to glare them down, when those blazing blue eyes meet yours and immediately you realize it’s all your fault, why weren’t you paying better attention to your surroundings?
Leon seems to be frozen, unable to move, as he stares down at his dripping shirt, and due to your perfect luck, the director also rounds the corner. He pushes Leon to the side, exposing the brown easily staining the white linen.
He presses a foot down on one of the stray ice cubes, crushing it and wiping his foot back. You grimace, paling at the idea of his wrath. Is this how you lose your job?
But Leon sighs patiently before he can say anything, inspecting the damage carefully. "Well, we had a good run. Not everything can go our way, hm?"
Your boss doesn’t seem to agree. He taps his foot rapidly on the tiles, a marching tempo, voice like sharpened steel. "You have exactly one minute before I find someone to replace you. Fix this, now."
Without another condition to his threat, he storms away to fume at the rest of the crew. They’ll be singing your praises for days, that's for sure. You wrinkle your nose and stick your tongue out after him, sparking a rumbling chuckle from Leon. You roll your eyes and turn to him, jabbing him in the chest with your pointer finger.
“Why the hell does your shirt even matter when all you’re doing is smelling good?”
<><><><>
You quickly realize that the point of the shoot isn’t to showcase any scent. No, not at all.
The shoot starts like any other - adjusting lighting, discussing shots with the crew. But Ada's knowing smirk and the array of silky fabrics draped nearby piques your suspicion.
"Ada, tell me those aren't...?" you gesture weakly at the snug boxer briefs Leon now models, the only thing on his bare skin, miles of smooth, dewey skin, dimpled with years.
She laughs softly. "Don't pretend you're not enjoying the view. I can see it in your eyes.”
“But for the first shoot?” you whine.
“I don’t make the rules, hun. Now go powder his nose or something equally distracting."
You set to work on Leon's hair and makeup, desperately avoiding eye contact with his barely dressed form. But then he shifts, and the movement draws your gaze as his facade slips away, revealing a broad, scarred back, painted with the stories of his younger days, of memories lost to time.
Leon meets your hesitant eyes in the mirror, one brow cocked knowingly. "See something you like?"
You cough in response, flustered. "Just, uh, admiring my handiwork. You clean up well for a god, Ken- I meant, uh, an amateur model. Yeah. That’s what I said."
He chuckles, low and rich, echoing through your hollow eyes. "Whatever you say, assistant. Now, I believe we have some shots to take?"
He leaves you standing there, in a daze as you watch him saunter off, eyes fixed on a lower point of his back. It was going to be a long week keeping your eyes (and thoughts) professional.
The play of light and shadow dappling his skin, dipping into every crevice of his well-nurtured body and curving around his muscle is something you can’t keep your eyes off of.
He knows. You realize this with a sudden jolt as someone sighs nearby. He knows that everyone’s ogling, and he loves it. The arrogance only fuels his ego, you think, as a collective hush falls over you all.
And just like that, the cocky grin on his face is gone. You can at least admire how well Leon slides, almost effortlessly, into professional mode, shrugging at the director’s instructions to face the camera, to reveal sculpted plains of muscle and dusted chest hair.
Call someone to bring a water bucket, because watching him through the camera, your eyes to the world, the raw truth laid bare for you to witness, sparks flares of heat within you. You have a gut feeling that not even water can put it out.
You seek to capture the subtle shifts in expression on his face, the way his lips curve into a smile or his gaze lingers with a hint of longing. These small details, when frozen in time through the lens of your camera, seem to speak long tales of not only misery, but admiration.
And you catch exactly who they’re directed to.
Ada.
<><><><>
“What do you mean, nothing?” Leon scoffs, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “You’re pissy and this is the seventeenth time you’ve nearly pulled out my hair!”
“It’s not like there’s much left, anyways,” you snap back, equally as irritated as you yank at the strands, forcing them to separate, trying to clean the product. Against everything, you still feel the tiniest bit guilty when Leon winces.
“He’s not that old,” Ada calls out, swaying over to the cafe.
“Exactly,” Leon says, but he’s chuckling now, and he waves in greeting to her.
You can’t help but force a smile, trying to make your reaction seem genuine, your silent hatred unnoticeable. This isn’t healthy.
A man? Coming between you and your only friend in this wretched place? What are you, a teenager? But you can’t deny the disgusting, poison green envy that unspools in your stomach, catching onto the flames and turning them into toxic vapor everytime you notice his lingering eyes, her thoughtful smile, the small touches they think no one notices.
It’s hard for you not to, especially when you know he’s been teasing you all week, the bastard. You suppose you should be glad today is the second to last day of this collaboration, and that you’ll never see him after this. Pray that his movies never feature at the local theater again.
But why does he have to be so beautiful? You want to strangle the sculptor, the majestic mind that saw him in the block of hard set marble and brought him to life, all chiseled, lean body, marked with stories, the body you have to stare at with a stony expression as you click the camera. Yet the softest, most gentle touches you’ve ever felt come from him.
Soft like his fingers around your wrist as he glances up at you, evident concern in his azure gaze. "Hey, is everything okay? You seem down."
You shake your head dismissively. "It's fine. Just tired of playing assistant, I guess."
A frown twists his lips. "You know that's not all it was." His thumb rubbed gentle strokes on your skin, setting your nerves alight. "I didn't mean to lead you on if... Well, you seem so young, I didn't want to assume or make you uncomfortable."
Your breath hitches as he stares at you, awaiting your reply. Fortune favors the bold, right? In a rush of courage, you lean down to brush your lips against his stubbled cheek, just the faintest touch.
"Why don’t you come over tonight and try me?"
<><><><>
Leon’s always been depicted in shades of gray, through your camera, the filters of monochrome, white, gray and black sweeping him into dramatic stories. However many shades you have seen in him, more than fifty, you think absently.
When you met him, the glacier tilt of his glistening eyes.
When you shot him, iron gray, the set of his jaw in pondering poses.
The fog his breath on your bare skin, as exposed to him as he was once to you, ash in the scratch of his stubble that sets fire to every part of you it brushes, anchor to the peace bringing doves taking off against your shoulder where his eyelashes flutter, peppering your collarbone with cautious, restrained kisses.
He’s holding back. Right now, he’s the soft gray that washes over the hills in the early mornings, the gray of your tea as you stare out at the horizon.
“What’s wrong?” you whisper, brushing wisps of hair that stick to his face away. Leon glances down at you, eyes contorted in pain.
“I-I can’t,” he chokes out. You’ve never seen him cry, but pearls well up in his icy, stormy eyes, clouds of emotion raining down his cheeks.
So you kiss the hurt away. You push him into the linen bed sheets, muse something about the coffee incident, which sparks a broken chuckle from his glorious, glorious mouth.
Eventually all sorts of things are sprouting from between those lips. You think most of them are profanities, but you’d prefer that over sobbing.
You realize that you never want to see him cry.
Never see the smoky pallor of his face.
<><><><>
You wake to the sounds of metal creaking and strange gushing sounds that you can’t identify. Slightly concerned, you pull on the blinds, letting the dawn sun wash over your tired expression as you peer down at the hotel parking lot.
“Is he…” You squint, rubbing your eyes and blinking before looking back.
Yeah, you were right the first time.
“Why are you- when did you- what?”
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” The corner of his mouth crinkles into a sappy smile, barely visible from under the gleaming, spotless body of a motorcycle. “You aren’t the only one that can multitask.”
“You know you have a shoot today, right?" You rub your eyes, further taking the scene in. He’s definitely been working on the bike for some time, if the spread of tools was any sign.
He waves off your complaint with a huff. “That’s irrelevant. Besides, she matters more to me.”
“She?” You scoff.
"I know, I know." Leon wipes his hands, sliding out from beneath the vehicle with a half-sheepish, half-proud grin. "This old girl needed a tune-up, and I couldn't help myself. You know how it is."
You crouch to his level, sighing and wanting to be annoyed with his spontaneity but finding it hard in the glow of his expression, with the passion that sparkles in his eyes. "Just try not to get too grimy before call time, Leon. Ada will have both our heads."
Leon chuckles, unconcerned as always. "No worries. A quick shower and I'll be shining for the camera again." He waves off your complaint with a huff. “Besides, she matters more to me.”
Your brow furrows in confusion. "She who?"
Leon grins, running a loving hand along the motorcycle's frame. "Why, my precious Matilda, of course."
“Isn’t that your cat's name?”
“Yes… and?”
You roll your eyes but can’t suppress a fond smile. Only Leon would think of naming his vehicle. "Ah, now it all makes sense. I should've known no flesh and blood woman could ever compare to your one true love, your Ducati."
Leon meets your gaze with utmost sincerity, face twinged with amusement as he presses a fleeting kiss to your forehead, curling his fingers around the back of your head.
And his eyes are missing those rolling fogs.
Clear skies.
“Well, some things a man just has to do with his hands, you know?"
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kittyhui · 1 year
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woozi as all the love languages
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word count: 769 (cute little imagine)
a/n: for ppl reading my smau im sorry for not updating, my writers block is so bad rn😭😭
words of affirmation
- he LOVES praise.
- whenever you come to the studio and listen to something he’s working on, he waits for your lovely words saying that he’s doing so well and that the song sounds amazing
- his ears would blush a pretty pink and he’d cover his face in embarrassment
- talk pretty to him.. he’ll have a heart attack. he just wants to know he’s doing good💔
- but on the other end, he has a hard time praising his SO.
- he doesn’t like to say ‘i love you’. he thinks that after a while it loses its meaning and wont feel as special
- tbh he probably wouldn’t even say those words until like 9 months to a year into the relationship (hes the type to not even say it until his wedding day😭)
- almost any attempt of giving praise comes with stuttering and blushing
acts of service
- because hes so busy, he would really appreciate receiving acts of services
- if you live together, he loves when you tie his tie if he has to dress up in the morning
- in return he’ll make you breakfast and coffee just the way you like it before he heads to the studio
- if you work out with him, he’ll love if you could spot him and vice verse.
- he doesn’t want people to know, buts he’s a princess. giving him massages when he gets home or giving him a full skincare routine and running a bath, he just would feel so loved, especially after a long day of practice
gift giving
- he has a lot of money, he wont deny it, but he won’t spend his money all willy-nilly
- he loves to spoil you but he only does it every now and then
- he’ll STALK all your socials to see what you want if you didn’t already flat out tell him.
- if he knows he wont be home for a while or cant spend time with you (tour, comeback, etc) he’ll slip a few gifts onto your bed, wrapped nice and pretty. he loves when you send him photos or video call him, showing how much you love whatever you got. he cant stop the smile on his face anytime he sees your happiness
- on the other end, jihoon doesn’t like receiving gifts
- he doesn’t want you to waste your money on him and really he’ll only ask for something for his birthday and it will never be something outrageous. if you do a form of art, he’d LOVE to receive something you painted or drew or wrote. if you made music as well, he’d probably cry if you wrote a song for him
quality time
- he’s busy like all the time, but best believe he’ll message you, call you, and try to visit you as much as he can.
- when he’s home or visiting you, you rarely go out
- woozi, the homebody he is, loves movie nights and cooking dinner together.
- watching a movie on your couch while eating a home cooked meal on his rest day is the most domestic thing in jihoon’s mind, it makes his heart flutter everytime.
- even if he doesn’t want to do something, just spending time with his SO without talking is something that he loves
- doing his own thing at the same time as you in comfortable silence is very calming to him and it happens a lot when hes working in the studio and you come to visit
- if the two of you wanted to leave the house to do something together, gym dates, Michelin restaurants and picnics are things he would love to do.
physical touch
- contrary to what most people would think he actually loves physical affection.
- ESPECIALLY when sleeping.
- have yall seen the LieV sleepover stream? woozi is like that with his SO.
- he’s big spoon all the way. he will wrap his legs around you a snuggle his head into your neck when its cold out.
- he’s not a big fan of pda tho. even with the members, he gets bright red even from just a simple peck on the cheek
- the most he would initiate/let you initiate in public is pinky locking when walking and short shoulder touches in passing.
- but as i said before, once he gets home ALONE, he’s all on you.
- hes still shy tho, most of the time you will initiate it.
- he’ll pull you into kisses every now and then, keeping you close to him for hours
- its hard for him to say ‘i love you’ so this is the best way in his opinion
- favorite type of physical affection: cuddling
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reegis · 8 months
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Yo! Do you have any notes/tips for your coloring process? I've always had trouble with that part of drawings looking good lmao and I really like yours! If not for your specific style, do you have any tips with that in general?
Iv gotten a few asks about how I color but iv always avoided answering because
A) I am absolutely awful at explaining things, and
B) I am a very Very lazy artist you should probably Not do the things that I do
BUT i feel bad gatekeeping(?) my horrible technique if it helps anybody ig ill try and explain so
✨✨✨Welcome to Reegis’ Probably Not Reputable (But Very Long Winded) Art Advice✨✨✨✨
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line art of a random character for the example, just pic whatever colors you have in mind for your base colors, you can try using palette generators or basing it off of existing palettes/characters/whatever I have absolutely no idea how color theory works (& this is why you shouldnt listen to me) so im solely going off of vibes. but it is Rough so onto step 2 & 3
(edit to add i usually start off with the skin hair & clothes on separate clipping layers and merge them together towards the end.. i think i forgot to say that at all here oops)
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I abuse the hellll out of layer blending modes. overlay, saturation & multiply mainly, but also difference, brightness & screen. (just doodle something & try all of em out to get a feel for them honestly ik theres a Lot and they can be intimidating) for this i just wanted a more cohesive warmer tone to start with so i added a peachy overlay & a slight ombré to the hair to add a bit more interest to the character.
then just the most basic of rendering, some blush & highlights just wherever i think theyd go.
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Another thing they tell you Not to do, my next step is to block out all my shading in a vaguely purpleish multiply layer!!! i cant be assed to do it any other way im sorry…. once i have the basic shading down, i lock the layer & go in with air brush eraser & also airbrush in other colors wherever I think the purple is maybe too harsh/clashing
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still wasnt 100% happy with the colors so messed around with some more layer filter/modes/whatever you call them then colored in my line art! i think this is honestly the saving grace for all of my art shshsdhhf color your lines people. doesnt have to be all (i dont, i like the contrast) but it usually helps to make some at least a little less harsh
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then with a little more color tweaking im done! one random sleepy dude, fully colored (by my standards)
and then if a piece needs more dramatic lighting you justttt
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im so serious play around with layer settings! these are just basic multiply & add(glow), there as so many others you can abuse the shit out of & nobody will know or care in your finished piece.
was this?? in any way helpful???? I hope so.
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termagax · 2 months
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i hesitate to reblog my comic pages a whole bunch of times because i have a lot of personal gripes and things i dont think look very good or i wouldve done differently or reworked if i hadnt been so fed up with it ESP. the dialogue im so bad at dialogue and i worry that reblogging it a bunch is gonna let other people notice that especially so long after ive made it. but also there are a few panels tjat ARE so so so cute
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these first ones especially look good and i KNOW thats because the entire comic was just to give justification to THIS SHOT i LOVE this shot i was havign DREAMS avout this shot i have 5 different abandoned attempts to write it out in a fic i spent days thinking of nothing except how badly i wanted to cut his hair and run my hands over it and kiss him on his stupid head and i think it REALLY shows. esp the angle of his head when its turned away from the camera like that looks SOOOO good to me.
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this bits fine i think it couldve been laid out better and i wish i was good at lettering but the drawings themselves are fine. i DONT think i figured out how to draw this hairstyle like i dont think it comes across well unless you already know what hes supposed to look like. but its fineeee i like how square i made his head and i like the ideaaaa of making fun of him for being old so i think the interaction is cute enough to justify the jank
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THIS PANEL ALSO. JUST SO CUTEEEEEEE theres a lot of jank w proportions and shape but again the interaction is everything to me i like the idea that he isnt really comfortable being looked at like that? like in my head hes not an insecure guy and clearly hes very very confident in himself and his appearance but i just dont think hes comfortable being. treated affectionately in that way ? if that makes sense? i know some people disagree with this but i just dont think he really dates or even really does hookups so i think hes just easy to fluster. hes a confident guy but the attention he gets is usually more people being scared or finding him weird or offputting or gross. scary dog. so i just like the idea that he gets embarrassed when they look at him or call him pretty. and also i like when he shrugs it off by being a dickhead.
i wish i liked the panels on the second page more but it was a huge struggle to figure out and id been working on it for like 8 hours and i was so annoyed and none of the panels were turning out and i couldnt come up with anything better than the PLACEHOLDER DIALOGUE. and the panelling is ROUGHHH like the layout is just not good and i dont think it communicates what i wanted to.
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but THIS panel is so cute to me I LOVE THEMMMMMM my friends my best friends. you can actually see on the hand here and a few other shots on this page i was STRUGGLING w my lines and was trying out a different technique that my best friend nini suggested where you block in a sillouhette and then erase out the middle chunk. and it looks really cool i like the look of it but i think you can clearly tell which things are done that way and which ones arent so its a bit jarring. but i DO wanna use that more because it looks good it just kind of conflicts with my normal process so i have to find a Project. it doesnt work well w an undersketch so i tend to use it when a pose just is NOT coming together or when i can really see it in my mind and just cant get the structures to work out.
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this shot is ALSO REALLY CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEE I LOVE HIS FACE. this comic was fun because i usually use his long hair to cover his face (because i think its cute and cheeky to not show his face as much as possible and esp. when hes younger i just like the idea that he sort of hides it even before he had the mask.) so i dont have to worry about his expressions as much so it was FUN to get to draw his whole face. but also it changes the balance of what details i have room for? idk if you guys have noticed but i try to keep my shapes really distinct and my art not too busy so there are pieces where i will fully leave out details i think are there especially his facial piercings (youll notice he doesnt have them in this comic) and sometimes even his scar if the piece is too busy in the head/torso region. and a lot of times between his bangs and the way i do his facial hair i just end up leaving the scar out or leaving it as light implication. but it is always there. so because his hair is out of his face i got to consistently include it (though not every panel - see the one i talked about earlier? i leave it out there because i think itd make the blush lines not read as well and i was trying to stick to black and white.) and that was interesting to proportion. BUT ANYWAYS. this panel is so cute i think everything came out really well and i kind of nailed the style i was going for with it like the tooneyness is just totally there. i struggle sometimes with figuring out the right way to do his jawline and i think this one just clicked so nicely and its exacltly what i wanted it to look like.
although if youll permit me to ramble EVEN LONGER i worry sometimes that going so cartoony means he doesnt look "like roadhog" like ovw has such a semirealist style which i hardcore struggle with sometimes (and u can tell in this comic when i do try for that it doesnt looook as good) and i worry that im abstracting the realness out of him and not communicating it as well as some of the artists i really look up to who are SUPER good at striking that balance btwn cartoony exaggeration and expression and realistic weight and proportion (im not gonna namedrop but youve certainly seen me gush about their stuff before). it wouldnt bother me so much if he had like a canonical face like i dont sweat it with rat everyone knows what rat looks like but this is a guy i made up in my mind so i REALLY WANT to be able to communicate what i think he looks like so i get nervous doing these abstractions. but ultimately i think those abstractions are the better half of my work they just look better and i basically only draw for me anyways so leaving details implied works fine for me (ie: when i see his face in my head i think he has a lot more signs of age. but i leave them out because it would clutter the place too much)
anyways sorry for the impromptu directors commentary i just think SO MUCH abt my art and every decision i make has like 900 years of thought behind it and i like to talk. thanks if you read this far i love you 🫶
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bleep-bloop-boo · 17 days
Note
OMG PLEASE TELL LIBRARY STORIES
i would love to work at a library one day
iugfbnwqkwsdjf AWW THANK YOU FOR THE ASKK IM GOING TO RAMBLE NOW <33 AND SAMEE i hope you do get to work at the library :)) i need to wait 9 more months before I can applyy
First off all, background In my 7th grade i did Semester 1 online school and Semester 2 in person. I didnt get a choice in elective cuz i switched over so i became an office aide tho i would be sent to the library most of the time to help the librarian. another thing, the librarian started the same time as me. the old librarian quit and the new librarian was just out of college (and also lowkey traumatized but we dont acknowledge that heree) so she was like in her early 20s I LOVE HER SM OMG!! BEFORE BEING A LIBRARIAN SHE PLAYED COMPETITIVE VIDEO GAMES AND SHE HAS AN ANIMATION CHANNEL AND NOW SHES ILLUSTRATING CHILDRENS BOOK AND SHE WAS IN FANDOMS TOO!! SHES AMAZING AT ART, LIKE WHEN YOU ASKED HER TO SIGN YOUR YEARBOOK SHE'D DRAW YOU (i can find the picture of me she drew if youd likee) IN 2 MINUTES!! AND SHE TOLD ME ONCE SHED DRAW A FANART OF NICO GETTING MCDONALDS WITH WILL FOR ME CUZ I TOLD HER I LIKED PERCY JACKSON AND SOLANGELO (i never told her bout the mcdonalds thing, she knew) and it was so much fun cuz id be sorting books and reading books and scanning books and helping kids and fixing books and organizing and just talking with peoplee i loved it smm and speaking of her, she did so much cool stuff!! she had no idea how the library worked or how to do stuff and she did end up crying the first month because of how lost she was but she got a hang of it and i so proud of her for that <33
She made a cozy corner where there are tons of blankets and pillows for people and with cozy curtains and lights
she bought (using her own money) nearly 40 boardgames and made a shelf for people to play with fidgets, cards and games
she brought her switch in so kids could see and watch her play
she made a suggestion box and read every single one
she started a thing where she made slides for the elementary schoolers and read to them every week
she let students come in during lunch and play games and talk and chill (which is amzing cuz our school was HELLA strict, like middle schoolers could only sit at the tables or on the grass. you cant walk anywhere else.)
and we all loved her sm, she was the best <33 i miss her cuz now im in high school and the kid i tutored told on me thursday she moved and she doesnt work there anymore and now i miss her even moree but ill see if i can find her insta time for the actual stories of me and the one other office aide 😭😭😭 - we built a throne out of old textbooks and made a whole photosoot using paper decorations - we spent an entire hour just reading and laughing at this book about toilets - we spent 15 minutes learning how to use a key cuz we locked ourselves outside of the school (we had keys with acsess to the whole school and all the gates, were just stupid) - had so many debates with elementary schoolers who snuck in about the best pjo character and other books - kicked said elementary schoolers out because the school didnt allow them to be there after their school ended (then snuck them back in) - we spent an entire period just playing random songs and videos on the TVs and kept trying to change it to Never Going To Give You Up - kirby. so much kirby. EVERYWHERE - SCHOLASTIC BOOK FAIR omg, the books come in the shelves pre-pepared but the shelves are like tall, metal blocks on wheels you need to open up yourself and move around. we ended up creating a labryinth and getting trapped then i stacked a rolly stool on a chair and that didnt work cuz the stool was bigger than the chair and even tho i would have surived, they said it was too dangerous so i had to climb on a booksehlf to jump over these 6 foot tall bookselves we opened wrong and escape the maze - selling at said scholastic fair which was so fun <33 (i want a retail job so badd) - the amount of times i just sat and read while sorting books- - theres prolly more im forgetting lol, this is getting long tho so ill just end itt TYSM FOR THE ASK, THIS WAS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE CLASS IN ALL OF MIDDLE SCHOOL (barely beat geometry) AND I LOVELOVELOVE TALKING ABOUT ITT
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shipsational · 1 month
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so ive had a lot of art/general creative burnout and block lately so im throwing caution to the wind and just making some self indulgent and low effort art for myself today, and for bonus indulgence ive decided if there was ever a character i was drawn to Fuck It make an insert and kiss em whether i have an idea or not
in this case those i do at least have a cursory idea for a dan vs insert
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basically im elise's burn out disappointment of a sibling with no direction in life, and our parents kind of make her let me move in to try and get me on the right track (they talk like im a teenager and not 30)
i dont wanna be there either, not because i necessarily have a bad relationship with elise but tbqh mostly because i dont really like chris and his push over nature (i adore him irl but thats not v interesting for a character lol) (and i guess the whole thing is kind of embarrassing anyway)
soon after i move in they have to go out of town for something and i dont wanna go so they left me to watch the house, and they didnt tell me about dan because they didnt wanna scare me off, and they also didnt tell dan they were gonna be gone cause elise told chris not to cause she didnt want him tagging along and somehow it didnt occur to them that us meeting might be a bad idea and since chris is gone he tries to coerce me into helping with his latest revenge but the thing is he doesnt have to really try because he's chaotic and out of control and thats the most exciting thing ive ever experienced in my life like Absolutely i'll help you with whatever inane nonsense your'e doing today fucked up little guy i cant think of a single thing id wanna do more
so jokes on the parents this was the worst possible thing they could have done if they wanted me to 'get my act together' up to their standards
i traced over elise's official art and made the adjustments to make it seem plausible they could exist in the world and even threw them on this handy height chart
they're a shorty but not as short as dan but only by like an inch
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tazzymcclazzy · 1 year
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RAAAAGH GRAAARRRGHHH AND OTHER SUCH SCARY DRAGONDOGTHING NOISES pleas e read this
tazdrgaoneyetagain -> tazzymcclazzy! first url change lets go
HELLAO! i go by taz, jevil, petco, or if youre feeling sillay, you can call me drgaone! or just dragon. if youre normal. also any variation of the word dog.
☆ he/it/that/bark/woof/any canine-related neo you can fathom but i very much like it/its, transmasc and pan! can't quite describe my exact gender its like caninegender and boygored's evil child it's like the cissest-looking trans man you know its like some shadowy creature in the woods its like a domestic dog. you know the drill. one day ill find a xeno that fits that
☆ furry and therian (black wolfdog) and simultaneously petre because you can never be too canine i guess, otherhearted (dragonhearted of course), selfshipper!!!1!1!
☆ not whatsoever diagnosed with anythin other than a few miscellaneous conditions but everyone who talks to me agrees theres some divergent on that neuro
☆ taken and very loud about it i love bird sm. SO much. im normal im so so normal [dies
☆ chronic epistaxis i am the number one bleeder
☆ also part of the corpoverse! i'm petcotherealest
《FANDOMS :3333》
◇ wings of fire
◇ pjsk/vocaloid
◇ fnaf, specifically the dcas
◇ hfjone
◇ the walten files
◇ chonny's charming chaos compendium
◇ regretevator. its birds fault
◇ kinitopet!!!!
《F/OS !!》
♡ sun (five nights at freddys, romantic f/o)
♡ six-claws (wings of fire, father f/o)
♡ sayori (doki doki literature club, romantic f/o)
♡ shadow bonnie (five nights at freddys, caregiver f/o)
♡ the heart acoustic (cccc, caregiver f/o)
♡ kinito (kinitopet, platonic f/o)
《TAGSSSS》
♧ drgaone roars -> og posts
♧ drgaone snarls -> asks and answers
♧ tax evasion -> art tag! i used this one across all my past blogs (@taz-drgaone, and the one i had to deactivate womp womp) so going through a tag for a literal felony is fucking flooded with fruity dragons. in retrospect i should have made it drgaone draws
♧ manatee the silly! -> manatee my blorbo my silly. also used across all blogs but you dont have to scroll past political shit
♧ drgaone scrawls -> vent poetry n fanfic !!!!!!!!! pls dont look there i put those there 4 safekeepin
♧ saveforlater -> imagine me curled up on a pile of these posts like a sleeping dragon atop its horde of treasures
♧ holy shit the images are moving -> animations i post
♧ partnerposting -> me being in love
《MORE INFO I GUESS》
♤ feel free to send asks requests dms whateva!!!1! i thrive off interaction its my fucking lifeblood
♤ on that note, I AM A MINER. PICKAXE EMOJI. no nsfw but im ok w drawn gore/violence/ect!
♤ ask about my ocs. i beg you. hehe is that a sex reference
♤ on that topic, if it's brought up and ya get confused: carp is a dca au/selfship/crossover thingy invented via dumbassery and roleplay by me, birdic, and realguitarcenter/kaiyadrawzz, and it involves a lot of my wof oc lore (if i infodump to you abt one and redact something due to carp relation that is why), literal satanism, and lotsa heavy topics. if you wanna know about it, i will GLADLY TELL YOU and i have a loredoc in the works. my sona/the guy in my pfp is from carp, as is any characters by the name of austin, avery, or gabe. we hate gabe
♤ my discord is assignedmuckaatblucka PLEASE ADD ME i love makin friends so so so much
♤ tazzerjevil on ao3!!! read my fics boy. but maybe not the smut because it is carp smut. currently workinf on a jashling chatfic im v proud of
♤ not gonna put my triggers here due to An Incident but ask about em via dms or smth if you wish ^^ please do not ask about their origins. i will possibly block you if you try to find out
♤ PRO-PALESTINE. except i cant post much abt it because my zionist mother looks at my tumblr. but from the river to the sea palestine will be free‼️
♤ i am worlds most annoying dog. i will spam you with barking and yap about my partner so much
♤ i have many a sideblag! if you find the petre one, you get a gold star. if you find the other one and ask abt it, you get blocked. i sincerely apologize! but if u find the other one you probably have me blocked anyway so uerhm idk
BASIC DNI SHIT! pls if ur a jackass or bigot or anything do Not follow. also anyone against transspecies people (not one myself but its such a cool concept), mspec lesbians, xenos or neos. also if youre gonna tag me in a reblog chain plEASE dont, but especially dont do one of those ones where it says "tag [insert number of people]" i panic and have no clue who ta tag,,, also no reblog bait please! makes me nervous.
sona refs, theriotype refs, and other such images under the cut
SONA REFS:
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second one by @/ratboyinastarrycoat!!
THERIOTYPE REFS:
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i am simultaneously a large predator and an Oipouy. got a problem with that, liberal?/ref
OKAY THATS ALL SCAMPERS AWAY
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morguemaw · 2 years
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Important.
So. I wanted to make this post, and my brother, and girlfriend have supported me. My brother knows this entire situation, but i wanted to come out about it because it has dealt alot of mental toll on me, and im scared of this creator. No, i dont want to interact or start drama. No, dont mention me to him. No, i dont want his apology. No, i dont want any pity. I just want to tell my story because it happened before, happened to me, and just because he has a "soft gay boy nice boy" attitude does NOT mean it wont happen again. What ill go over in this post roughly/you will get the impression of is;
Why i hate comparison
Why im fast to jump at conclusions/be defensive
and Why i mention my trauma with the UTMV community, specially under posts regarding art, art style, characters or character design.
And no, im not even posting this to try and tell people im some snowflake who cant handle criticism or compression, this is targeted to the people who have ill intent with those and go as far as to label things others do as copying or ripping off.
Yes, im okay. Yes, im going to continue what i do. No, im not wanting to send anyone after him. Please, just read what i have and understand that the way i am is because of something i have kept to myself and only 2-4 other people for the past 5 years.
Introduction.
To get it started, ill be calling this creator, he/him, by his publicly known name. However, ill also possibly switch from his name, to part of his username/nickname.
This creator in question, is the content creator named Lizherubones, also known as TwistedBones, thebastardbutcher ( here on tumblr, too. ) , ButcherZone, and his oldest username, Zippy3006. He sounds familiar because he was one of the bigger creators in the UTMV, back in the dark ages of fontcest being the normal. However, i will call him William, as that is his name, and its public information. He also goes by Will, so im sorry if i call him any variation of those names/usernames.
Other things you may read about in this is an old discontinued app called DoodleClub, a OC of mine named Ezher who is the reason why im making this post, as i wanted to draw and post him again, but the timeline will be abit scattered as trauma and blocked out memories happened because of this, however another important person, despite being lightly mentioned is another victim who i will simply call Az as of right now.
Ill try to keep this as short as i can within reason, there will be time gaps, there will be references to previous things mentioned, and if it gets rough i may even stumble on how i type and mention things too soon or later on, im very sorry.
The Start.
During the time of 2015-2016, i had first found Undertale. During it, i joined a app called DoodleClub, its where i met my brother, Glitchy. During this time, i had also joined Tumblr. With the rise and popularity of Undertale, i had seen alot of artists, some other popular names you may recognize is NSFWshamecave, BlogTheGreatRouge, and a few others whom aren't important to the story other then to get the gist of it, Lizherubones was one of the artists i had encountered, and grew attached to. I adored his style. To me, it was a perfect mesh of cartoony and pleasing aesthetics and anatomy that i just.. Well i loved it. This is when i got stupid. On DoodleClub, i would post artwork of either 100% traced or partly traced artwork of his, along with my own where i weakly attempted to mimic his style. Soon tho, i got too comfortable. Sometimes i sent him asks on or off anon, i drew him fanart, and on DoodleClub i even changed my username to "Twisted Bones", because i really liked that name. However, sometime a user, who i will just call Nutty for right now since its what i remember them by, they found out. Slowly, a few others did, and Nutty ended up reporting me to William. Now during this i never got screenshots, one screenshot i remember Nutty posting was one of William saying i was a loser for tracing, or something similar but equally short.
This ended fast, as people were on my side. But it didnt end there. Same day Nutty reported me, and word got out, i decided to confront William myself. I explained that i was sorry, i wouldnt do it again, and i saw him as a idol and wanted forgiveness. I was terrified and at my grandmothers trying to hide me talking to a almost 30 year old man about traced work. The first trauma tick with him, was when he threatened legal action against me, saying and i quote, 'Your parents will have to pay alot of money'.
May i tell you a few things;
I was a CHILD at the time. 11-12 years old, not even classified as a Teen yet. I couldnt legally be sued.
He lives in Chile Brazil, i live in Michigan USA. After about a year, and also after a third situation that happened that caused me to do alot of at the time feeling smart teen research, he couldnt have even attempted a law suit because of the fact i wasnt making money off the traced work, and that the laws are different in both states and countries regarding copyrighted content. Not just that but.. He was too far, and would have to come to me. Which again, different locations = different laws, and so on.
As stated above, i made 0 money or even thought to off his traced content. In my mind at the time, i just traced to learn the style, and ill even say it that from what i remember, i didnt trace enough to have it be my main thing.
After this, he commanded me to delete all my work, and to never return to the internet. Which i did.
Return of the Deja Vu (Instagram Arch).
Skipping to 2017, my slow return to the internet. I had gotten Instagram and decided i still wanted to draw. However, like a cow being branded, his style still stayed in my mind. Though, this time it was just muscle memory.
During both this interaction and the previous, both times William had stated his art , characters, and even worse the colors used on them were copyrighted.
In the end of this, because the more important one comes next, is people kept tagging him in my work. Saying it was familiar, asking if it was his characters, ect. Which lead to him messaging me on my now forgotten account, once again threatening the law to me. This time, however, i just told him to leave me alone as i wasnt doing anything. He had also made comments and remarks on my artwork like, "This just looks like a human version i did", or "Looks like a draw i made." ect, ect. I had made a very old, possibly lost Reddit account talking about this, which was made just within the same week of him telling me these. This situation ended fast, mainly because i went inactive on this account. If the name Zure/Zhure sounds familiar, that was apart of my user at the time.
The Big Blowout (Twitter Arch).
This is where my links and pictures come in. All are screenshotted from Twitter. This is also where i can provide more proof of things. I will mostly gloss over everything, as its foggy for me. The timeline is roughly 2019. On twitter, i still was ignorant and blind to this all. Rose tinted glasses. I wanted to just be seen by someone i looked up to and just get a small sorry if he even felt any pity. On Twitter, i began posting. I began to also like his art, but never followed. Just to try and gain his attention. This ended badly, however. After i first not only made a suggestive Human Swap Sans, at the time not realizing at this point what i was doing was taking inspiration from him rather then trying to copy, but i had also made a OC named Ezher.
Ezher was the main breaking point.
This is Ezher;
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As you can clearly see, yes, he looks alot like William's own OC, Rheiz. , However, i remember clearly the source of what i liked most about Rheiz was the marks in his hair and the dark to light hoodie he wore. Something extremely important, but when i made Ezher, William was a faint memory to me at the time. So when i say source pf his OC, it was a distant memory and i didnt think much when i created him. Off topic note, but turns out that while talking to someone William considers a close friend, all i did was make Ezher half red, half blue and that made Ezher original. Who knew a color tied his fate. Sound familiar? Thats because mentioned earlier, William told me previously that he had characters that were copyrighted. He also mentioned that using the same colors as his characters was wrong, too.
Ezher will be getting a update and will be coming back. When Will found out about this, is when shit hit the fan. I got many, many @'s like this;
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^ Mind you in the last screenshot, i was trying. I really was. A user named SnoweyBones also made a message on their Twitter, telling people to report me. This got my acc taken down. This is only a small part of what i personally could find. I roughly remember screenshotting the DMs + others, but they are either lost to time or something else.
If you couldnt tell, the gist of it was, William had made a post about me somewhere which in return led to a mob.
This scared me off the internet for abit, and i went into hiding for awhile until my brother started to give me more confidence, and i realized that everything that happened,
was all because someone was egotistical about a artstyle and monochromatic color scheme.
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^ That was my old account. Very easy to find however, so it is what it is.
Things i found, Things you should know.
To once again clarify, im not seeking pity nor revenge. Im wanting to shed light and say my story about this artist, because this isnt the first time he has done this, let alone something terrible.
William has attacked another creator, this same creator he is following on Twitter and acting like nothing happened.
There was a situation creepily similar to mine that occurred not too long before my own. Similar insults and similar situations.
v link
William has a history of attacking other creators. His reasoning is that his own trauma is the cause of his actions. I have trauma with him, and the furthest i ever went was when someone used my characters (in my eyes) unique name for themselves and created a sexual variant of my OC without my consent and proceeded to openly complain, insult, and suicide bait members around them because i rightfully called them out for doing something with something of mine i didnt like, didnt let them do, nor would have ever consented to.
To sum it up.
Im not doing this as revenge. Im not doing this as pity. Because again, a close friend of his helped me and made me feel better during his final attack on me and helped me still connect to a OC of mine.
Im doing this because its for me a traumatic experience and a reason why i tend to act the way i do. Im scared to post certain characters, art, or ect without the fear of him coming around or others comparing me to him.
Again, my OC Ezher was the starting point of this. I want to draw him and love him again, but im scared of William.
Even if i have a whole redesign in mind, even if he doesnt remember me or even bother with me, even if no one cares or even if the community now isnt so butthole tight about stupid things like similar color schemes or aesthetics, its still something that affects me and has affected how enjoy the fandom.
Repeating this, but im not even posting this to try and tell people im some snowflake who cant handle criticism or compression, this is targeted to the people who have ill intent with those and go as far as to label things others do as copying or ripping off.
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creatingchimera · 5 months
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you people are so desperate to ruin the life of someone you don't even know, huh?
the only person in the fandom i interacted with is sinnamonsters for like, one single day before they blocked me. Kittycorn has never made a statement directly about me. We have never interacted outside of questions about sparklecare sent to kits ask box or kit reblogging my art. I have not hurt anyone in the fandom, let alone personally??
i dont know who you people are. i have kept to myself and just posted fan art for a comic that i like and brings me comfort and you are trying to claim i hurt people and that im some monster. cant you people just fucking leave me alone already? im not leaving the fandom because people cant handle what i draw on a separate account where they cant even see it unless they actively seek it out. If Kittycorn squeakself tells me to stop interacting with the comic, I will. But squeak hasn't. Squeak's friends (who i will not name so you assholes won't harass them or Kittycorn) have told me that Kitty has no issue with me. What she does have an issue with is the obsession over drama the fandom has.
Stop harassing Kittycorn over my presence. Stop harassing others over it. Stop fucking spreading lies about me because you don't like what I draw. Get over yourself and leave strangers alone.
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hacksawboy · 1 month
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aaanddd were on day 5 of daily tired doodles and tired posting, and day 2 of im not actually that tired at all doodles and posting lol. i didnt play that much tf2 because i was playing serious sam 2 with a tiktok mutual of mine, but heres a doodle of something that did happen when i was playing
also scout loadout reveal! ive been playing him more recently because i love his lil outfit so much so i just knew i had to draw him xD what happened was i was standing on a block in the community map purple fix which is the only map my usual server runs and a spy decloaked RIGHT on the block i was standing on right next to me oh my god i had a heart attack 😭 scared me so much i just turned off the game and than immediately after logged off my computer because i was playing with a steam friend and felt too embaressed to tell him i left because someone playing spy like youre supposed to scared the fuck out of me
fun fact i only play botplay, idk if ive ever shared this? this is my usual server because no one ever joins it but me and the bots are way too stupid to play spy or sniper, like yk standard valve bots. they really like standing completely still and vulnarably out in the open too. if i ever made a server id just fill it with stupid bots and make it so you cant play spy and sniper because i get so mad when i have to fight either of them lol
anyways tbh i might hop back on in a bit and try to fuck around as scout some more.. or take a nap im getting a lil bit tired idk lol. hope you enjoy the art ^_^ (ps ... pyro loadout drawing hopefully coming soon i said id draw him and than just didnt lol)
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azumasoroshi · 1 year
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continuing from the last post, we're back to izaya with the bag over his head and earthworm
and it's really interesting because he's animated in a way that makes you really, REALLY doubt that it's izaya
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ok it's hard to show in photo form but like. the way he tilts his head back and forth with earthworm moving the scissors makes him look wary and nervous? and you cant see his face but his body language is so far from relaxed that you're like oh they must have captured nakura or some other person. no way izaya's actually in there
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and after she asks about his sisters (you still cant see well in photo form but i gave you the timestamp and the episode number so :3) he shakes his head back and forth quickly with some kind of wobbly sound effect and it's so unlike izaya!!!! izaya wouldn't react to any of this right??
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and then we cut to here!! and it's like oh yeah that definitely isn't him. he's literally outside with mairu right now
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side note but awww they're so cute. im sure they're 100% normal mentally sound siblings who definitely didn't decide their personalities via a fucking coin flip ahahaha
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orihara family is so fucking weird. sometimes i wonder if izaya is good at dodging shizuo's attacks because he's used to his siblings attacking him all the time (which is really cute actually) or if his siblings saw him getting chased around by shizuo all the time and thought 'hey that looks fun' and decided to attack him too (decidedly less cute but a lot funnier)
im assuming it's the first one though since the twins have been doing martial arts probably before izaya was in high school?? probably
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it's funny how he's actually caught off guard here. like his ultra instinct carries him but he only turns after mairu makes a noise
like he's the king of environmental awareness as opposed to shizuo who kinda blocks everything out so this is hmMMMMm
mayhaps he lets his guard down around his siblings :eyes: ohoho do i sense a weakness orihara-san??
there was this line in the izaya youtuber au where namie is like damn i'm this proud at catching izaya off-guard for like a second?? my life is fucking sad. that's how i feel right now
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smug bitch
flexible characters get me going bro like vash the stampede. izaya. why do i keep grouping them together in my head like they're both human lovers (albeit for very different reasons) and they're both flexible and they're both voiced by johnny yong bosch. what's the deal here what is fate trying to tell me about my taste in fictional men
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i will never get tired of his acrobatics ugh
bro has a fuckin rectangular prism for an ass what is going ON there
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um. gayass
what was i talking about again OH YEAH the earthworm thing. well not like i can talk about that any more until we cut back there
im not taking screenshots of the entire "fight scene" (it's just izaya dodging and being a little shit like "oh woe is me why would you attack an innocent civilian in public??" (he's the one holding the knife, mikage's brother points out)
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and we're back! still not sure how exactly that works considering the transition between phones - was earthworm showing him the footage or something?? or playing the audio, because she asks about mikage right after
in any case izaya continues to keep his head low, visibly reacting to what she's saying/pouring the water but never saying anything
we switch away again to him talking to celty and we're at a really weird place where half of it feels like izaya's going to be under there and earthworm is actually getting to him this time, and we'll see through the flashbacks a series of fuck ups or how he planned to be here and be unphased but he's a little bit shaken by the torture methods
and the other half of it feels like oh, through the flashbacks we'll find out how exactly izaya caught on to them trying to capture him and made a stunt double
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the one post that's like "i dont see him complaining" continues to crack me up
we cut back to earthworm again but im running out room of this post lmAOOO
it's incredible how hard it is for me to stop talking like this is actually insane. see you guys in the continuation post i guess
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drifloonz · 2 years
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Hi! I'm usually not one to send asks all that often, but what the heck. I'm kinda curious about your thoughts on something too since I've seen a lot of differing opinions.
Steven. Obviously Miki's accident and Missingno annihilated his sanity, but I feel like Mike's ghost also haunts him. Not in a malicious way, but just by existing. He just really wants to understand why Steven had to do that to him but whenever he attempts to reach out Steven flips due to guilt. I've seen someone's headcanon where Steven is this cold-hearted bastard who never cared about Mike, even as kids, and idk. It just doesn't sit right with me. Nothing wrong with it I'm just wondering how many other people share that sentiment vs Steven feeling immense guilt at being so blinded by rage that he'd murder his own brother and basically sell his soul.
Sorry if this is too much, I tend to ramble 😅
HI!! you were my actual first ask but i didn't see this one at first until i was writing the other one and out of the corner of my eye saw this and went "wait a minute." funny how that happens.
ANYWAYS i can definitely do that for you and ALSO do not apologize i ramble so much as well its fine. this'll be so long i apologize so im putting most of it under a read more !
cw for Bad mental health, strangling/murder obviously, and also some suicidal ideation ( which is warned for in the paragraph its shown in ).
i think steven just sort of like... blocks it off and tries to forget everything about that ever happened, but obviously, you cant forget that stuff that easily. it haunts him but he tries to push it as far back to his head as he can and he tries to forget SOOO hard... he's in intense denial. i like the art of him immediately regretting it but i think he'd just stare at mikes corpse for a few minutes and then just be like. scarred by the imagery, and it'd make him breathe heavily and make his eyes widen in regret and he'd just keep staring for a few minutes. but he'd just run away afterward and it just burns into his mind sometimes, making him remember and regret it.
as someone with mental illness of Horribly Bad amounts, when someone you trust like that betrays you or you believe them to betray you ( which, its the ladder for steven and mike, mike obviously didn't intend to kill miki whether or not you believe he initiated the trade with slightly malicious/selfish intent or not ) it does bad damage to your psyche. especially when the murder of someone you care for is involved, which makes the thinking in steven's brain go "oh mike murdered miki. intentionally or not he's the reason she's dead." and then that makes him very upset towards mike mixed with someone he sorta looked up to betray him like that. he just regressed hard and went thru a depressive spiral for a whole year, having the thing he most loved taken away from him so suddenly almost entirely without his control, and then he got so tired of bottling it up he snapped ( lol ) and killed mike.
suicidal thoughts cw for this paragraph: and also during the 1 year without miki, steven obviously went through a major depressive episode and a sort of downwards spiral that just got worse and worse, and i don't think he wanted to get better. this is heavy but i sort of think he just hoped neglecting his self-care would eventually kill him and reunite him with his miki again, which is all he wanted. he didn't eat much if at all and he just sat in front of miki's grave, sometimes for days. he made a bed out of his misery, because it felt comfortable in a morbid way. if he died, he'd reunite with her, because at that point he didn't know anything could bring her back and all he wanted was her. it felt better than just... getting over it, or trying to. people convinced him to take better care of himself, but he still barely did anything past his necessities. this didn't help his mental state at all, as you can probably tell, which also fueled his hatred towards mike after the incident more and more. he made himself suffer this much due to an accident he caused, and he used that as further reasoning to dislike him, even though that was all self-inflicted.
i also like to think they didn't hate each other genuinely before this - mike never genuinely hated steven, but steven after the incident probably had Many complex feelings towards mike, mostly negative. but before the incident, they definitely had arguments and spats, and sometimes one would say something that would genuinely hurt the other ( usually steven did this to mike more than viceversa imo but both happened ) which both of them also probably bottled up and didnt talk about a lot ( although mike'd definitely apologize if he ever went too far - steven, i feel like would be too guilty and nervous to apologize ) which also sort of exploded in steven's face after miki died in front of him. those 3 things mixing together did not make a good combo for him.
the interp of missingno needing souls or steven at least thinking it does is fun but i like to think it never did and steven was just going through a horrendous downward spiral, and he went back home bc... where else would he go, he'd still have to pack the rest of his stuff to leave if he intended to, and seeing mike so vulnerable flipped a switch in steven's mind and made him just go [ steven voice ] "You know what would be funny?" ( worst way to describe that but u get it ). this can also arguably be missingnos influence or missingno possessing steven, which i feel is more plausible then it needing a sacrifice. but i think it just probably inserts or pushes forward steven's intrusive and aggressive thoughts, which i like to believe he always had especially after the incident, but never this bad. and then he just did it bc the thoughts wouldn't leave him alone and his mind convinced himself into it. even though he already had miki and didn't need to do that, it felt... fitting, to him. it was satisfying for a moment, especially because i like the interpretation that his mind warped mikes dying expression into him looking like he's laughing at steven ( explaining his hyplull sprites when hes being strangled being so weird ), until his mind realized the damage he just did, seeing mikes glazed over expression that was very much not smiling or laughing, and he went "oh. shit" in his head probably. his mind couldn't even comprehend what he just did. it'd take a lot of processing, and he didn't even want to process any of that, so after staring for a bit he just walked away from the scene and escaped to never be seen again.
i also like the interpretation that steven thought mike didn't actually care that much about miki dying or even did the trading thing on purpose - he clearly didn't kill her on purpose, but steven was so blinded by his own muddled emotions and rage and he needed an outlet, someone to blame, so he couldn't see it any other way and CONVINCED himself that mike did that on purpose. also because admittedly in canon mike saying that he needed a charizard implies he already had a charmeleon but thats muddy territory and probably just slightly a plot hole. but if that was the case i bet steven was like "... just evolve the charmeleon?" "but that'd take too looooong!" or something like that. mike is impatient as hell fr fr mans got adhd
if you want a good take on this and havent already, read faulty on ao3 . i hate ao3 for various reasons and only go there when im Parched for content. but goddamn that fic has the best characterization of the two imo, especially of this dynamic of them specifically along with their other relationships ( namely daisy and reds relationship to steven and mike too ) - steven even sometimes goes through like being slightly better around mike and then it all drops when he realizes she died for nothing, and mike didnt even finish the dex. fucking phenomenal fic tbh i love this characterization of them sm. a lot of this summarizes how i think they'd both act after the incident
____
as for the haunting... yeaaa. i think steven's just way too scarred and confused and scared to even allow mike to properly reach out, if steven even realizes it. i like to think he's paranoid and overthinks so he probably goes "oh god what if its mike" and then woopsy daisy! It is mike. and he just tries to pretend its nothing so bad and to ignore and avoid him because he's scared and confused and it makes him think far too long about his emotions on the situation that he was intentionally bottling up and pushing to the back of his head.
he also probably would think mike would try to revenge kill him because that's just how he thinks he himself would react if mike did that to him. Which makes him regret things further. he sleeps less due to this, usually on the defensive even though mike has no intent to harm him. i don't think mike ever had any room in his heart to ever hate steven. he's just confused or slightly upset at worst at anything steven's said or done to him... mike probably doesn't even really blame him, but he does just hope he's ok and prob lets out a sigh of relief when he finds steven, who is still a mess going through many things, and also murderous now, but he's still alive! which is a win in mikes book i guess!
he probably just tries to pretend mike isn't actually there or actively get rid of him, or he wouldn't even notice mike is haunting him in the first place, depending on how obvious the signs of the haunting are. his house is already sort of run down and haunted as fuck anyways, but in the back of his head he knows somethings off.
i also ... like the interp that steven took all of mikes team bc nobody was there to care for them anymore. so maybe when steven notices he sends out mikes blastoise or some of his other party members and hopes to god mike leaves him alone to go bother his own pokemon who he hasn't seen for years. after all, he basically never let mikes mons out of their ball, and even considered donating them all to professor oak or something ( probably just.. leaving the pokeballs out infront of the lab one day ) but that felt wrong, so he always kept them on hand. sometimes feeding them and not much else. mike probably had a ghost type ( gengar ) who can conveniently probably see him, and mike definitely would try to communicate to steven further through said ghost type. and he'd just be like. "gdi why did i send out the ghost type" in his mind.
miki can definitely see mikes ghost. mike is also like "OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU. WAIT YOUR ALIVE????" in his head, but he quickly gets used to it. he has no idea what the hell a missingno is or how/why she's alive but he just stops questioning it. they sometimes share a glance and nod. mike will sometimes avert his gaze from her due to guilt though. miki doesn't seem to care or hold resent, probably because imo 'M ( however you want to spell Missingno Miki ) isn't actually miki. it's missingno sort of possessing, haunting, or keeping miki's dead corpse alive, but her soul is no longer there anymore. at least most of it Isn't there. due to that she's a lot more emotionless. even if miki's soul was in there though, she would not hold genuine resent. if miki's soul was in there she'd probably be scared of steven ( specifically yk S!3V3N ) tbh
i definitely think steven has hallucinations sometimes, usually of miki or mikes corpses, usually much more horrifying looking than they actually were, so this doesn't help!
steven overall is just on the fence and regrets it all but doesn't even wanna think abt or interact w mike but if he somehow became more okay with it, he might start leaving mike notes or something. or talking to himself, assuming mike might overhear. small steps like that. and maybe if mike is able to sometimes steven just passes out on the couch or smth and mike covers him in a blanket while hes asleep and stevens just like. "That was not there when I fell asleep." in his head. stuff like that.
also mike might switch the tv channels or just Project an image onto it somehow. and steven just. squints at it. i think it'd be nice if they eventually got used to eachothers presence again and just silently hung around eachother. mike really wants to look after steven after seeing the state he's in and how much he didn't really help steven effectively when mike was alive. for an example probably, like, nudging the bathroom door open and turning on the bathwater and trying to make steven take a mfing bath and practice self care for once and steven just begrudgingly sighs and goes to do it since he might as well. and mike just walks away and is very smug about it. he Will make his little brother practice self care again and he's made that his personal goal. steven walking into the kitchen and seeing various pots and pans floating around along with a mess on the floor ( mikes getting used to his levitation powers still </3 ) and he just squints his eyes and leaves and comes back and theres a meal on the counter
steven making pancakes and he just holds out a plate for mike and he just takes it. and steven just sees the plate floating and goes "yea thats about what i expected" or smth. its cute, Although i cant see that happening very easily unfortunately </3 steven is very broken and very much Not wanting to think abt mike. so itd take very long for him to warm back up or even be ok with him possibly existing arnd him. but this'd prob happen eventually if mike is persistent, and by god, is mike persistent. its what got him into this mess in the first place.
i can write so much abt these depressed ex champions fr!!! anyways thank you for reading sorry for writing so much words. i hope this feeds you enough content for the next winter. i hope literally any of this made sense bc i just sorta typed my thought processes until it looked legible - wispy
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qiekz · 1 year
Note
hey
im really out of it right now but i have
something to tell you its important
i need you to know i love ur art and you genuinely inspire me
like
your art?
one time it sent me into a 2 day journey of tutorials and trying and failing to draw sparkledogs/srs/pos
i still cant
but
i wanna draw like u
def not take your artstyle. thats weird + i have my own. dont need to hoard artstyles. or maybe i do. hey, maybe im on to something-/lh/hj
ok but ur art is genuinely so pretty
and im just always like. "man. scene doesnt know how good scenes art is." and i see this blog with less n less art over time (+ youre healing currently iirc so thats a factor too rn) cuz discouragement and wtv
but
ur a big inspiration 4 me and i know when i get past this big art block ur art is going to be an inspiration in my pieces
ur art is not horrible. i see you trying. i see your effort and your drawings always come out so beautiful
plz dont feel pressured 2 write up a response to this ask if u dont have the energy to!!! /gen/nf
im just here 2 tell u that i love ur art sm and i try 2 reblog when i remember to
okai i am going 2 go do my thing now !!!! goodbye and know ur art is very very appreciated!
/vvgen
GAHHH EXPLODES /POS
i have little to no words other than sobbing crying tee heeing /pos /pos
TYSSMMMM this was a cool thing to wake up to ty
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