#if you don’t know who’s who they’re in alphabetical order btw

[locusfandomtime]

there they are… the hermit crabs

[justporo]

my queen. ur sfw alphabet for astarion....it was so good. so amazingly good. grrrrrRUFF!!! GRAAAAFPBRRRR!!!!!! anyways.....would you....be able.......to make......an nsfw alphabet 👀

Oh my sweet Anon, how could I say no? And you're not alone in wanting the NSFW version so here you go, hope you enjoy! And thank you so so much <3. You know flattery will most likely get you your way with me. Surely a thing Astarion and me share... This is Fem!Tav/Astarion btw.

I used this wonderful template (although I changed C slightly), thanks again to @the-coldest-goodbye.

Smutty headcanons about Astarion and Tav (in alphabetical order)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Astarion is very cuddly and comforting – especially if it was a little rougher. He’s always making sure you’re okay, holding you, kissing you gently, laying around naked afterwards just talking and relaxing. Especially since he’s learnt being comfortable with non-sexual intimacy he also just enjoys being close to you with skin-on-skin contact, feeling your warmth.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

“Just one, love? Don’t make me choose a favourite?” Let’s face it, he knows he has the body and face of a fallen god. He takes pleasure in looking and being beautiful (rightfully so), he likes that he has a body that’s well built and incredible to look that. But not even in that kind of hollow way but it’s just aesthetically pleasing and that’s a source of joy for him (also he loves his hair a lot). That also goes for you: he’s constantly reminded of every single little beautiful detail about you. The way your neck curves in an elegant line, the way your lips open into a smile, the small lines in your irises that are only visible when he’s like an inch away from you, the little dimple above your butt? Ugh – he could get lost in all those little aspects for they’re all infinite spaces of beauty.

C = Coming (switched that one because I liked this more)

Astarion takes an incredible amount of pleasure in keeping you on edge sometimes. The way it’s so very much in his hands to let you fall or not and the way you’re willingly giving yourself to him in that way. He’d never truly make you suffer though – he only does what makes it more exciting for the both of you.

Sometimes it might even be a little bit of teasing who might be able to push the other beyond the point of no return. (Punishable by law and the other will pay!)

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It turns Astarion on way too much when you wear his clothing. The way your ass looks when you’re wearing only his shirt, when it’s visible just beyond the hemline. The way your hardened nipples peak through the fabric and the outline of your breasts shows through it – he can never get over that image. Certain way to get him to push you against a wall in three seconds or less.(And it will stay on during the sex, so he can smell you and what the two of you did later on.)

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Do we even need to answer this? He knows every damn trick in the book and he’s very creative and eager to show off and teach you.

But: Doing all this with someone he really loves? With someone he desires so deeply it threatens to melt him from the inside? That’s a whole new plane of existence he never even though existed.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

“Again, darling, you can’t possibly make me pick just one. Because when you’re under me I can see your face when I’m deep inside you. I can watch your eyes roll back and how your lips soundlessly form my name and your legs wrapped around my hips can slowly drive me insane. But when you’re on top of me I feel like you’re a goddess gracing me with your blessing. And when you’re on all fours and I’m above you, I can feel the tension in your whole body, how you desperately use every inch of space to get more friction and look at your pretty little back arch while I grip onto your thighs.”

Enough said, isn’t it?

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s probably way too used to putting up the perfect performance in the beginning. But he slowly learns that being intimate means so much more: that it means being so deeply comfortable with each other, each other’s body and mentally, emotionally, that’s not about perfection at all. And that it can be so joyful if someone cracks a joke in the middle of the act because somehow the moan Tav let out sounded like a dying squirrel. Or because Astarion butchered his cheesy line because you’re driving way beyond mad with the way your hips roll.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Elves have little to no body hair so there’s not much to take care of. The little hair that might exist just stays and is neatly groomed just like the whole man.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Astarion opening up in these moments is one of the most beautiful things. Because he slowly learns to experience real intimacy. He’s slowly fully there with you: it’s not an act anymore. His hands linger now on your soft, warm skin, his kisses become more passionate and never ending, his eyes burn with desire but mostly with love. And he makes sure to tell you: tells you how much he loves you, praises every inch of your body. His heart is so wide open when he gets there, he’s so ready to be loved and to give love – being amplified by the fact that he’d never even dared to believe he’d be allowed to feel something like this.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t really – because why when he has you at his fingertips. Although if you had to be away for a little while he might find he’s craving you way more than anything else. And when he’s sitting soaking in the tub and he’s reminded of how you look getting out of the tub, streams of water glistening on your body – he finds himself pleasuring himself thinking about how it will be once you’re back with him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Hmm yes, the thing with blood. Drinking from you while being in the middle of the act – yeah, you kinda both enjoy that quite a bit.

But also it’s such a massive turn on for him if you give yourself to him completely. The fact that you’re trusting him this much is driving him almost insane.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Oh, it could happen anywhere at any time.

Your enormous bed is your favourite place by far though. After all this safe space of coziness is just where you can completely intimate with each other in any kind of way. But Astarion for sure has to test every surface in the house with you – at least once. Okay, maybe twice for good measure.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Just you literally doing anything. Once he realises he’s in love with you, he’s fallen and can’t get up. You’re angry at him – woah, the look you throw him takes his breath away. The way you bite your lip when you’re concentrating on something – he wants to put his lips on yours immediately.

And let’s not even talk about when you try to deliberately turn him on. You wearing something naughty just for him? You very purposefully letting your hands wander and linger just a little too much for it to be innocent?

“Love, either you keep these naughty little hands to yourself or you’ll put them right there right now and finish the godsdamned job”, Astarion whispers huskily and grabs one of your hands, deliberately placing it on the growing bulge between his legs.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

If he ever felt used in that way again he’s been put through for way too long – he will NEVER do that again.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Astarion very much enjoys giving head, because the way your thighs press around his head while he can feel you shiver and the way the pitch of your moans rise – hmm, delicious.

He hasn’t been receiving quite that often so he’s not particularly fond of it, until – it’s you and he realises how wonderful you look with your lips wrapped around him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It really depends on the mood. There’s certainly not just the one way with Astarion. He can be so incredibly sweet and tender, touches like feathers. But another time it might be he has you up against a wall and it’s all about carnal lust – making it rough and quick. But he certainly always makes sure it’s pleasant for the both of you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

As much as Astarion enjoys spending whole nights (or days) with you under his hands (or the other way around), he wouldn’t say no to just quickly bending you over the kitchen table to give you a sweet little reminder why it is that you can’t get enough of him – ever.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Experimenting, yes? He likes to show you new things, but he’d never put you in any danger and making sure you’re one hundred percent comfortable with what’s happening is always his top priority.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

No matter what you can’t possibly keep up with him. And he teases you about it (affectionately): “Aww love, I was just getting started. We didn’t even get to the real fun parts.” You just glared him, being too out of breath to put anything you wanted to verbally hurl at him into words.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

The only things he needs really is you and himself. Although something like tying you up against the bed sometimes? Covering your eyes? But for the most part he enjoys completely uninterrupted body contact the most – and that by far doesn’t have too mean it’s always sweet and soft. Those long and elegant fingers have much expertise with sleight of hand and they don’t call it silver tongue for nothing.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh, an awful lot. Astarion is the definition of a tease. But in his defence: he also takes delight in being teased back. It’s no fun if you don’t claw back. And bickering and teasing a lot is definitely your specific kind of foreplay.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Astarion’s quite verbal – especially since he’s discovering new heights of pleasure with his loved one. Groaning and moaning – especially your name or praises for you. Also he does not care if he’s loud – he’ll proudly let the whole world now how much he desires you (much to the displeasure of you and your party members, oops).

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

It’s Astarion absolute specialty to make you flustered in public. Once he’s found you get these delightful full body blushes he makes it his goals to tease you at the most inappropriate times. You hate him and you love him for it – this smug bastard. He just knows how to push your buttons way too well.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He’s hot alright. He most definitely has those muscles for vanity reasons and thankfully vampirism made sure he’s keeping those abs no matter how much of a domestic softie he’s gotten with you.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

High – especially in the beginning. Once he’s free to enjoy his own desires at his own pace there will most definitely be this high-demand honeymoon phase. You’re both not quite sure it will always really end (and you surely hope not).

But: it’s also important for Astarion that he’s getting more confident to maybe just not be in the mood every single time. Just like you aren’t always, too. And that’s completely fine, you assure him time and time again that you’ll never want him to indulge you just because he feels an obligation.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

You can sleep when you’re dead. There’s way too much stuff to be done after: maybe another round (or more), cuddle, talk, goof around, down a bottle of wine.

Although slowly drifting into sleep after being fully satisfied and full of love and warmth: that’s definitely the best way to end a night.

[levmada]

NSFW Alphabet [1/6]

I'd rather post the alphabet in 6 parts than all at once because there are 26(!) letters and I write enough to qualify as short essays sometimes. lol.

This first part contains A-E: aftercare, favorite body part, cum, dirty secret, and experience.

warnings: foot fetish (sorta? blink and you'll miss it)

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

We all know that Levi’s primary ways of showing love and affection is physical touch and acts of service. So no matter what- be it slow, sensual lovemaking or hardcore bondage- i think he would be very caring/doting to his partner afterwards. Running his hand through your hair, pressing soft kisses, and especially cleaning you up.

Pillow talk would be sparse, but immaculate. Maybe his voice would be gravelly or broken depending on what sort of sex you two had been up to, half-lidded gazes, and the remnants of a blush still lingering on his cheeks and throat. I don’t see Levi (in canon at least) as one for exhibitionism at all (with the exception of bending you over his office desk), or even quickies tbh so these are the standards more or less.

Canon!Levi wouldn't be for bdsm/harder kinks imo, but if he was the same applies. His first priority would be making sure you're okay and safe. If you enter a subdrop Levi would care for you in gentle, reassuring touches and would undoubtedly run you a bath. It takes communication beforehand, but whatever you need he'll give to you before ever considering himself.

As a btw, Levi wouldn't fall asleep right after sex most times. Unless you two went more than 3 rounds (given his unmatched stanima/strength, i'd bet 2 is just about a given for Levi), he'll need you to fall asleep before him in order for him to even begin to relax lol. Levi needs to know you're content and happy before himself.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

hm. I hc Levi as someone who doesn’t put much stock or thought into his own appearance, at least when it concerns whether or not he’s attractive. He puts a ton of thought into how he appears, yes, but a favorite body part? Meh.

Most likely, I’d say Levi’s arms/biceps are his favorite if he had to pick. The packed muscle he’s built up there over years, and even the scars he’s amassed are proof of his strength: that despite where he came from, everything he’s built for himself he did on his own. Also, it’s his arms that he wraps you in, able and willing to keep you safe. (Honorable mention would be his hands, for more or less the same reasons. However, the heinous acts he had to commit while Underground surely keep him up at night. The blood on his hands, the cast-iron grip on a blade. Levi’s contamination OCD is strongest there.)

As for you, goddamn, it’d be difficult to pick just one part of your body he adores the most. Levi thinks feet are disgusting, but he finds himself admiring even that part of your body. The soft flesh of your warm thighs, your belly, the gentle mounds of your soft breasts (if you have any). And your deft hands…

He loves kissing your collarbones, and especially the place where your shoulder arcs into the curve of your neck. Your silky soft hair; your cheekbones.

Call it a mood killer, but Levi’s favorite part of you would be your eyes, I think. That age-old saying, “eyes are windows to the soul” is age-old for a reason. He can tell exactly how you’re feeling when he looks into your eyes, and the hue of them, the spark in them are mesmerizing to Levi, always.

Yeah, he definitely strikes me as a huge hopeless romantic, deep deep down.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically... I’m a disgusting person)

Fuck. Well, Levi hates a mess, as everyone and their third cousin twice-removed knows, so I propose this: I don’t think he’d be averse to making a mess, given you’re already super close and maybe long-term. Rather, Levi would pull out just as his balls draw up to cum all over your tits; your flushed, sweaty cheeks and lips; or your thighs (that are already dark with hickeys he gave you, obviously). He’d prefer that over pumping you full of his cum on the basis of the risk of pregnancy (unless you’re doing anal but I don’t see Levi as very up for that anyway).

Levi would get a kick out of being the one to clean you up with his tongue afterwards, or- the first couple times- cleaning you up in general. Levi hates a mess, but he loves to clean and I think cleaning you would make him feel profoundly satisfied with himself lmao. Especially if you asked him to, he would do it. Levi is secretly such a submissive, easily-flustered man that he’d do a lot of shit for you and wouldn’t even question it.

It’s not that important or anything, but Levi would love it if you swallow everything he gives you when he gets to cum in your mouth. As I mentioned earlier, he’d get a kick out of cleaning you up either way, but there’s definitely something about you taking his load and leaving not a drop left to clean up. It would make Levi irrationally pleased with you. He’d get on his knees between your thighs, hold your hips still under his grip and draw peak after peak from you for taking his cock so well.

Also, Levi is definitely the type to get pussy-drunk. He fucking loves how you taste; making you feel good and writhe under his tongue or his fingers is the main attraction, but he would genuinely enjoy eating his partner out. Levi will suck your musk off his fingertips, or alternatively, straddle you after you cum on his face and mash your tongues together. That way you’d get to taste yourself too, all the while Levi’s mouth and lips are still slick and soaked with your cum.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I always default to canon!Levi, so as for his dirty secret, I think Levi would almost certainly revel in being dominated. He has to keep up a reputation and a shitload of responsibilities most times, which means a lot of pressure and stress on our poor baby.

I think Levi would love just letting go and relinquishing control to the one he trusts the most- you. You climbing on top, keeping Levi’s body flush with the mattress, making him squirm and beg for your cunt (or your cock)… it’s something he’d need time to adjust to for sure, because he’s not used to it, but Levi fucking loves giving himself up to you. No one would believe it either, Humanity’s Strongest outright begging underneath you, and you rendering him vulnerable and soft; you wrench tiny whimpers from Levi’s throat and maybe even some tears. Mans is secretly a sub for sure.

p.s., Praise kink praise kink praise kink. Levi loves it when you tell him just how good he's making you feel or being called a good fuckin' boy. I might just be horny for sub!Levi 24/7/365, but it makes his cock throb to be praised and needed. He loves it when you (loosely) grasp his neck and order him to be a good boy and cum for me. Levi's not one to disobey orders lol.

Did I mention Levi has a thing for being called Captain in bed!??

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Canon!Levi and Modern AU!Levi are two different men I assure you. I’m only gonna focus on canon, but I’m also gonna disregard everything Isayama’s “said in an interview” and just say that Levi definitely dabbled in casual sex or sexploration in general while growing up Underground. But Levi never took a liking to much of it; sex is inherently meaningful to him and he values a deep, intimate connection above getting his dick wet.

When you two first take to each other, Levi’s rather inexperienced, but he’s not clueless. Just as well, Levi’s a quick learner. You can guide his hands up to cup your plush tits; or if you have a cock, Levi would already have a good idea of what will make you tremble under his touch.

You can guide his mouth as he kneels between your thighs, and in return Levi will reel from the mind-melting euphoria you give to him. He knew of sex, but never in his wildest imagination could guess it could be like this. The first time, I imagine you make Levi cum so hard that his voice goes all airy and high, and his body physically trembles. He’d feel so embarrassed for the way you make him feel or the sounds you wrench from him, but naturally Levi would try and hide it lol

| levi masterlist | main masterlist | next part |

[joshbruh10x]

Random Headcanons for them SB characters

So i listed some headcanons I like to think happen, they are literally living rent free in my head and I just wanted to share em with somebody lmao.

*sharp inhales*

THESE ARE ALL MY THOUGHTS IM NOT SAYING THEY’RE CANON OK WE GOOD? O K GOOD

*exhales*

Oh btw these are in alphabetical order bc i say so :> Bonnie-acts like a literal vegetarian, eats a bunch of carrots bc he a bunny

-really likes his bowling attraction but likes Fazer Blast more

-will not hesitate to jump at you with full speed if you manage to fully piss him off

-does stand-up comedy at night in his bowling alley

-the dude’s body build is like thin but broad

-he likes to annoy Freddy using his epic s p e e d

-his program was a bit more upgraded to protect kids (bc kids and heavy bowling equipment do not end pretty)

Chica

-Yes she loves Pizza but will go crazy for small finger food or snacks like chips, fries, finger sandwhiches, etc.

-Pops off when she feels like it

-You thought Monty was the strongest? H A H NO ITS CHICA

-She has a gym and she’s practically the buffest out of all of them

-Literally the light of everyone’s day, without her, Roxy would’ve crashed a car at a child or Monty would’ve started eating babies

-She has a built in ecometer to keep the place clean, but that also means she sometimes has to clean trash, by e a t I n g

DJMM

-loud when he wants to be

-his children are the little music men in the vents

-his bouncer mode will not hurt you, but will simply just fling you back to the elevato

r-loves the peace and quiet

-he doesn’t need to eat but Chica tried getting him to taste pizza atleast once or twice

Foxy

-does he even exist

-whatever anyways, foxy a very caring person despite his rash nature

-literally the third-or fourth wheel? Of Bonnie Monty and Freddy

-he doesn’t need love he got his booty

-his treasure get your mind out of the fucking gutters

-teams with sun and moon in the daycare theater

-it’s a hassle to keep his fur well groomed

Freddy

-YOOOO ITS BEAR DAD

-cannot stand any foul language within a 10 feet radius especially if its Gregory

-Best cook in the house/pizzaplex whoop whoop

-Will not hesitate to help anyone, you dropped your wallet near him? He will instantly rush to get it for you

-Despite being the main singer of the band, he sometimes lets the others lead-If he’s too tired, he will be in sleep mode until he’s well rested

-Are you feeling sad, like you wanna cry for no apparent reason at all? Too bad he’s on your way right now to hug you

-He dated Bonnie first before roping Monty to their side 

Gregory

-feral child all the way

-he knows who eli and cc is do not ask

-his legal name is now Gregory Fazbear

-Everyone acts like a specified guardian to him, Freddy his dad, Monty and Bonnie his cool uncles, Chica his aunt, Roxy and Vanessa his epic older sisters, sun/moon the protective babysitters

-he finally made a deal with the vent music men to stop attacking him in return of leading them back to DJMM

-Picked up cursing from Monty and adult jokes from Bonnie, Freddy is not impressed

Monty

-finally get to write headcanons bout the gator boi

-Nervous-ass wreck, when he first started as the bassist replacing Bonnie, he literally does not know what he’s doing leading him to cry and wreck his room on his first day

-man’s more upset replacing Bonnie than Bonnie actually is

-he knew Bonnie before replacing him

-HAHA GAY PANIC ATTACKS

-His cooking is literal rng, sometimes it comes out burnt to crisps, others, he makes fine ass cuisine

-He cannot control his tail, if it wags uncontrollably and hits you in the face you know it’s not his fault

-He wants control of the situation every single time, are we driving to mcdonald’s? Monty calls driver, unless it’s Freddy then he calls shotgun

-Amazing upper strength but he skipped leg day, yeah he can jump high but can he kick stuff as good as he can punch? I don’t think so

-Gator Uncle and Feral child causes mayhem

-When Freddy and Bonnie invited him to their relationship, my god was this gator soft as a LITERAL marshmallow on pillows

Moon

-your typical depressed angsty teen

-loves listening to soft lullabitic music

-has the same obsession of cleanliness with sun

-he likes bitter flavored foods, don’t ask how he can eat bc I don’t know either

-Despises Monty due to him babbling about everything and is disturbing the peace and quiet

-learned how to not scare Gregory for once

Roxy

-Girlboss, gaslight, gatekeep

-Never let’s go of Chica when she’s in sight

-despite having a Feminine build, she is very strong-bangs her head when metal music starts playing

-Monty and Roxy are besties for life

-DID YOU JUST LOOK AT HER GF? She will glare at you the moment Chica leaves the room

-Anything that ruins her form, she will and I mean WILL cry about it, a nudge on her makeup? Frizzy hair? C R Y I N G ENSUES

-When Gregory took her eyes, she relied more on smell than sound, she has memorized about what everyone smells like, Freddy smells like cologne and fiber, Monty smells like fresh damp grass, Chica smelled like lavender and Pizza (most occasions trash), Foxy smells like the Caribbean and Bonnie smelt like vegetables or Bowling polish

-She was Foxy’s replacement, none of them minded, they get along

-Teases Monty each time Freddy or Bonnie is near, calls him Lover-Gator 

Sun

-my god who fed the animatronic sugar?

-Too hyperactive and is all around the place

-Gets along with Monty and his loud attitude-He is aware of Moon not liking Monty so Sun likes rubbing it in his face

-Another reason he gets along with the gator is Sweets, they both love sugar that Freddy found them sleeping in the daycare surrounded by cans of Fizzy faz and chocolate bars, animatronics can get food commas???

-ball of SUNshine aha get it

-Nothing gets in his way when he wants to play (yo that rhymed)

-Gregory finally warmed up to him

-Acts as the therapist of the Pizzaplex, very understanding and calm when he needs to be

-Vanessa is his top customer to his therapy sessions, the girl needs more than a beer or two 

Vanessa

-after getting saved by Gregory and the gang, she vowed to keep Gregory safe

-Chocoholic, Coffeeholic, Alcoholic (but not so much alcohol she get’s drunk, that’s a rare occurance when she does a full day shift)

-Less strict to the animatronics but she does glare at them when they try to do something stupid (cough cough Bonnie and Gregory)

-As I said, Sun is her therapist-She has access to everything on the Pizzaplex so she can be anywhere

-She also has her own apartment to stay at but she likes sleeping overnight at the pizzaplex, she has a warm couch, some blankets and coffee

-The animatronic she seems to warm up to the most is Chica 

Vanny

-not much to say about her

-sassy and aggressive, her most hated animatronic? Freddy

-brings a knife everywhere she goes

-devoted her life to burntrap like some husband or smth, looks like Bonnie isn’’t the only Rabbit simp in the Pizzaplex

-Vanny is now arrested and is broght to rehab to forget about Glitchtrap but it doesn’t seem to be working lmao 

William (this is just for fun)

-LITERAL OLD MAN WHO WON’T STAY IN HIS RETIREMENT HOME

-SOMEONE GET MIKE HERE HIS DAD WONT STFU

-he always comes back-his weak frail body is now even weaker because of Blob

-when will he die, goddamit guys, use ice or smth, fire is obviously not working, IM LOOKING AT YOU THREE HENRY, MIKE AND GREGORY

Ok wow that was a lot, so uhh yea enjoy this stupid brain rot

Atleast im not the only one suffering

[f1nalboys]

i’m back again with a request this time!

how about shy!randy with a future fem s/o (or whatever is most comfortable) who starts to work at the video store with him and they’re both socially awkward and he’s all nervous trying to teach her the way around the place and it’s just CUTE

(i love all your randy writings btw he is so underrated and you write him perfectly!!)

AHHH you're so sweet :,) I'm really glad you think so! i hope you enjoy!

WORD COUNT: 951

WARNINGS: fluff babey

When Randy saw you talking with his manager, wearing a uniform, he nearly shit his pants. He had seen you around school a few times and heard from a passing group of kids that you were new. Not that he had been listening in on their conversation, of course, because that would be totally weird and he is not weird.

He clears his throat, pretending to fix the shelves when he sees you and his manager, Henry, begin to walk towards him. “Randy,” Henry calls and Randy turns, acting surprised at seeing the two of you. “This is Y/N, we hired her yesterday. I gotta run so I need you to train her.”

“What? I mean, yes, sure, it’s just… I’ve never trained anyone.” His manager shrugs, tossing him the keys for the store and leaves without another word. Randy sighs, grinning when you laugh. He really liked the sound of that. “So, Y/N, welcome to the wonderful hell-hole that is the Woodsboro Movie Rental Store.”

“Seems like paradise,” You tease and he laughs, feeling heat spread across his cheeks. The store was empty, it being a Tuesday and all, so Randy wasn’t really sure where to start. “So… what am I supposed to do?”

He sighs, looking around the store, asking himself the same damn question. “That is a good question… here, you can help me put the movies back from the cart.” You nod and follow, trailing behind him. “So, it’s pretty simple. You pick up a movie, look at the genre, go to that section, and place it wherever the hell you think it belongs.”

“Shouldn’t it be in alphabetical order?”

Randy shrugs. “Yeah, it’s supposed to be, but I refuse to spend time doing all that just for some snot-nosed kid to come in and fuck it all up.” You snort, grabbing a movie off of the cart. He peers over you and grins: The Howling. “So, where do you think this goes?”

“Well, assuming you don’t have a dedicated werewolf section, I’d say horror.” You look at him, eyebrows raised and he claps. You take a bow, walking to the horror section, which was to your right, and you take just a second to look at the titles. “Here, I’ll place it next to Arizona Werewolf.”

“Good job! You’re almost a natural.” You elbow him lightly as you pass by and his breath hitches in his throat. He squeezes his eyes shut, annoyed at himself. Nice one Randy, get all flustered because a chick elbowed you! “Alright, now for the hard part.”

Randy walks you to the register and presents it. “This old beaut is named Betty. She’s been kicking for the last 12 years, which is 90 in electronic years, and she works about 30% of the time.” You laugh and nod, waiting for him to continue. “So, we’re gonna run through an old-fashioned fuck up so you know what to do when it inevitably happens.”

The next four hours is, honestly, the most fun Randy’s had during a shift in a long time. Like, a long time. He teaches you how to do transactions, how to get Betty to work again, he shows you where all of the cleaning supplies are as well as other copies of movies and where you have to mark the movies rented.

“Well, I think that’s it. You did good, kid.” Randy says, clapping you on the back a little harder than he meant to. You jolt forward and he sucks in a breath, his face showing his embarrassment. “Shit, sorry. Meant that to be softer.”

“It’s alright, kid,” You tease, standing next to him as he locks up the store. He spins the key ring on his finger and shoves it in his pocket like they do with guns in those old Wild West movies your dad made you watch. “So, I actually had a question for you.”

He raises an eyebrow as you and he begins to walk to your cars, which were the only two left in the parking lot. “Yeah? And what would that be?”

“Do you wanna get something to eat with me?” Randy nearly chokes on his own saliva. You giggle and he clears his throat, trying to be as nonchalant as possible.

“Uh, yeah, yeah. Totally… when do you wanna do that, exactly?”

“Tonight? If you’re free, of course,” You say, turning away from him, embarrassed. What if he had something to do? Then you would have put yourself out there for no reason.

You reach your car, which Randy forced you to let him walk you too, and he grins. “Yeah, that works for me. Kind of free all the time. Not in like, a loser way…” His face heats up again as you laugh but he can’t help but smile. It was clear you weren’t laughing at him, but rather with him. “I’ll meet you at Sunny’s, you know where that is?”

You nod and, in a rare moment of confidence, you pull him in for a quick hug. You release him and get in your car before he even has time to react but you can just barely make out the grin spreading across his face. He waves as you pull out of the parking lot and walks to his car, his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

He gets in, closing the door and rests his head against his seat. “Shit. I gotta date.” The thought makes him laugh; who would have thought Horror Movie Randy would get a date with the new girl? Not him, that’s for sure. He turns his car on and turns the radio up, singing the entire way to the restaurant.

[goldenhypen]

Ship your moots with Enha members? Or just any or the people you like talking to. And also why did you ship them with that specific member. 🥺

hii anonnie! <3 omg yes ofc !! these are so fun! (btw, these are listed in alphabetical order ok? 😭 also i’m so sorry if i forgot anyone 😭💔)

⬖ @artiiistyxoo w/ jungwon ▸ i just associate celine with jungwon at this point 😭 plus these two are both cuties 😚💖 and i think even as just friends, the dynamics would just be so fun and perfect 🥰

⬖ @atrirose w/ sunoo ▸ her blog’s description is literally “sunoo’s girl (real)” and she talks about him like all the time so- djdjdjd they’re both also very sweet and i could see them like,, caring for each other every day and being giddy over the other just by hearing their name or the their voice skdjkddj

⬖ @enhasfever w/ heeseung ▸ ofc ari with heeseung omg who else 😌 this doesn’t even require any thinking. whenever i think of ari, i think heeseung. 😌✨ she has so much love for hee and ik that if they would ever get the chance to meet each other irl, though ari would probably initially shrink in overwhelming excitement and nervousness, her and hee would get along rlly, rlly well and he’d make her feel rlly comfortable,, but then he’d proceed to hit her with his smooth pickup lines 😩 skdjdj

⬖ @ethereal-engene w/ sunghoon ▸ ik ash sometimes has her heeseung phases but i’m definitely shipping her with sunghoon, no questions asked 😌 she loves hoon, and their personalities would get along great. idk,, i could just easily picture them tgt 🥺💗

⬖ @hoes4hoseok w/ jay ▸ not just bc jay’s her bias, but out of all the members, i could honestly picture them two going rlly well tgt <3 they’re both mature and like,, smart and wise and talented skdjdkdj i could just see them getting along rlly well 🥰

⬖ @iuwon w/ jay ▸ everyone knows i love jay. you can often find me in my jay jay feels,, but i definitely trust lina with him 🤧 lina is the bestest, sweetest, talented, perfect girl, and her with jay would just be so 🥰💗

⬖ @iwonzzi w/ riki ▸ i see a lot of similarities in vivi and riki, like i love both of their creative sides. they’re both v admirable and i think they would just go rlly well tgt yk? 🥺

⬖ @jalnandanz w/ heeseung ▸ just knowing xae and hee’s personalities, i think they would compliment each other rlly well. and being older and being the gentlemen he is, hee will like,, take care of xae rlly well,,, yeah 🥺

⬖ @jungwoniics w/ jungwon ▸ i’ve been prepared for this day bc lia + jungwon = 🤩 skdjdj maybe it’s lia’s @ or the pfps or themes of wonie lia often has, but i 100% ship them ✋🏻 they would just be such a cute duo pls 😩 i think their personalities would complement each other so nicely and,, idk i just adore both of them too 🥺🥰

⬖ @koishua w/ jay ▸ when i think of viena and jay, they’re both very,, sophisticated and fashionable and both super good-looking?? like have you guys seen viena?? 😩 anyways- idk i could just see them going rlly well tgt ykyk

⬖ @kpophubb w/ jake ▸ definitely definitely jake ! with my own man, i would trust no one more than my lovely mia 🥺 the love and compassion this girl has,, pls anyone would be extremely lucky to have her in their life, and ik jake would definitely treasure her 🥺 i just know they’d get along sososo well and they’d have sm to talk about 🥺💗

⬖ @linoragi w/ heeseung ▸ obviously heeseung omg plus rey would come for me if i didn’t ship her with her moon <3 /j but yeah i don’t think there’s really a need for an explanation. the amount she posts of him and the fact that he’s on her mind 25/8,, i think that just proves my point even further. it’s clear they would just go so well tgt. rey, pls get back tgt with heeseung, it’s ok, he didn’t cheat on you 😭 plus, he told me he misses you 🥺💞

⬖ @meraniki w/ heeseung ▸ ik elly’s currently on her break but that’s totally ok! i’m not leaving her out of this 😤 but i’m shipping elly with heeseung bc i just feel like knowing how sweet and kind elly is, her and hee would get along rlly well, even as friends. everyone could use an elly in their life 🥺💓

⬖ @moonhoures w/ sunghoon ▸ along with some other specific idols, i associate moon with hoon <3 (omg the rhymes !! ig it was just meant to be 😌 skdjd) ik she’s in love with him and pls they would go so well tgt omg

⬖ @s-ngh8n w/ jay ▸ out of all the members, i picture jay as the most fitting for lemon 🥺 idek exactly what it is,, maybe it’s the lifestyle? or personalities? or maybe the fact that lemon is writing a whole series for jay <3 (go check it out besties 😚) but i just feel that they’d go rlly well tgt <3

⬖ @sultrybaby w/ sunghoon ▸ i just get major sunghoon vibes skdjdkd i feel like kel and hoon both would get sm benefit out of being with each other,, and not even necessarily in a relationship, but even just as friends. they’d be rlly cute 🥺

⬖ @sungsbear w/ sunghoon ▸ pls omg just imagine the two besties duos,, jakehoon and emali (hELP SKDJSK I JUST CAME UP WITH THE BEST NAME I COULD THINK OF ON THE SPOT SKDJDK) but i could totally see alison and sunghoon tgt. their personalities just fit tgt so well and they’d be so fun tgt <3

⬖ @tyunni w/ riki ▸ pLS i’d be stupid not to ship may with riki skdjdkdj she loves riki as much as i love jake,, if not more,, so- may is like enhypenblr’s #1 riki stan 😌 she can literally write hundreds of essays on reasons why she loves him. and i feel like they’d just be so good for each other yk? :(

to all my mooties, ilysm and i appreciate all of you sm <3 i’m so honoured and lucky to even be able to call each of you my friends and to have you guys in my life :( thank you for everything and for making my life just that much better <3 ily guys ! <333

[akatsuki-shin]

I... I don’t often call out anyone specifically using social media before, but... I saw this among the reblogs in my first post about MXTX novels English release announcement and I feel that this is just too much...

I’m not going to tag this with the fandom tags because this is literally just my personal rant, and I don’t want unpleasant things to appear when people are happily browsing the tags.

I also censored the person’s blog name. It’s not like I want people to mass attack them.

But I do have some things I want to say about this kind of mindset.

And this is gonna be a long post, so I’ll cut it with "Read More” later below as not to disturb anyone’s browsing experience.

Why do they have to split the books into multiple volumes?

First, you do realize that the original Chinese version and other languages versions are also in multiple volumes that don’t always be published on the same date, right?

SVSSS has 3 volumes, MDZS has 4 volumes, TGCF has 5 volumes.

With the English release, both SVSSS and MDZS get +1 volume while TGCF gets +3 volumes.

Why you ask?

Have you ever considered how long a single Chinese word would be if written in alphabets?

The word “人” in Chinese only needs 1 (one) character, while in English it would translate to “P E O P L E” = 5 (five) characters.

The word “知己” in Chinese only needs 2 (two) characters, while in English it would translate to “C O N F I D A N T E” = 10 characters, or “S O U L M A T E” = 8 characters.

Now apply this to an entire novel. FYI, TGCF has more than 1 million word count in Chinese, so you can do the math by yourself.

I mean, just go watch the donghua or live action in YouTube. One single sentence in the Chinese sub is often translated to two or more lines in the English subtitle.

And have I mentioned that the English release will have:

Glossary

Footnotes

Character Guides

And I’m going to repeat this once again: In China and other countries that already get their official releases, it is also NOT always all released on the same date as a single set/box.

So yes, (not) surprise! For the Chinese release and official releases in other countries, you also often need to purchase multiple times, pay shipping fee multiple times, and wait for certain period of times until all volumes are released.

It doesn’t only happen to MXTX novels, it happens to almost all novels, be it danmei or not.

Why don’t they just wait for translations to finish and release it all at the same time/as a box set? Why the span of two years?

On my part, I already say above that in China and other countries that already get their official release, it’s also not always published all on the same date.

Other than that, I’m not an expert at book publishing, much less when the publisher is not from my own country. But maybe consider the following:

They’re releasing 3 (three) hugely popular IPs all at the same time. Maybe the preparations take more time and effort to ensure everything is flawless?

Since it is very rare (or maybe never, cmiiw) for danmei novels to be published in English, maybe the publisher is testing the market first? Because if they already release them as a huge bundle from the start and it somehow flops, the loss would be very big. If it works well, then good! Maybe for future danmei release, they will consider making a box set or releasing them within shorter timeframe. 

In terms of marketing, if they wait another 2 years to release it all at once, will the momentum still be there? You can say “so in the end it’s all about money”, but if not sales number and money, what else should the publisher expect to receive for their work? They’re already putting a lot of effort buying all three IPs from the Chinese publishers, proofread or even translate some from scratch, pay translators, editors, illustrators, printing companies, etc. If it’s not selling well simply because they release it at the wrong time, aren’t all these efforts going to be wasted? And you can bet there will be no more danmei published in English if their first try already flops merely because of losing the momentum.

Are there any other rules or regulations they need to comply that prevents them from releasing everything in one go? But once again, even in China and other countries, it is also not always all released in one go, so this argument is already invalid from the start.

But they make it so expensive like this!

I’m sorry to break it to you, but I’ve compared the prices to MDZS Japanese release + TGCF Thai release and... The price isn’t really that much different.

Btw, I’m using Google’s currency converter, in case anyone wants to know where does my calculation comes from.

Okay, so here’s MDZS Japanese version from CD Japan:

One volume of MDZS Regular ver. cost 1760 yen. This is 15,96 USD before shipping. There’s only like $4 difference.

There’s also the Exclusive ver. that cost 3660 yen (32,92 USD) but we’re not gonna talk about that because they’re basically making you pay for the bonus, which is some acrylic panels and illustration cards.

Now here’s TGCF Thai version from Sense Book:

Translation using Google Chrome page translate:

One volume of TGCF costs 360 baht. This is 10.77 USD before shipping. So there’s about $9.22 difference.

Again, notice the difference of word/sentence length in the Thai words and English alphabet.

"But there’s still difference in price and other releases usually gets merchandise!” - Correct me if I’m wrong, but the US is probably one of the most expensive countries in the world. Do you think the materials, printings, and manpower cost is the same with other countries? Especially compared to one in Southeast Asia.

“But it’s xxxx times more expensive than the original Chinese version!” - Excuse me, the original Chinese version doesn’t need to pay for translators, proofreaders and editors with multilingual skills, and purchase the IPs? If you think it’s more worth buying the Chinese version, then by all means go ahead.

------------

Some last words...

I’m not looking down on those in difficult financial situation, but hey, I’m not filthy rich either? I come from a third world country and even if I’m a working adult, I’m still in working middle class + I got my parents to take care of. My country’s currency is literally just a tiny 0.000069 USD per 1 Indonesian Rupiah.

Every single fandom merchandise that you see me bought, either I’ve saved up for that or I sacrificed other things to buy that. I just don’t show the struggle to you guys because why should I? I’m just here to have fun about the fandom I love, not to flex my struggling financial condition.

These official English release of MXTX novels? All 17 books are going to cost me almost HALF of my monthly salary. But hey, I think it’s a good thing that they didn’t release it all at once, so that I can save up between months to purchase them all and plan my spending better.

If you feel the price is expensive, especially if you have to ship from outside North America, consider the following:

Book Depository provide free worldwide shipping

The books’ ISBN numbers are all available in the publisher’s website, just show it to you local bookstore and ask if they can order it for you

Plus, there are already hundreds of generous fans doing free giveaways in Twitter, even the publishers are helping to signal boost this. You can go and try your luck if you’re really desperate.

Lastly, I know how much love we all have for our favorite fandoms, but remember that fandom merchandise is NOT your primary needs.

You are NOT obliged to purchase any fandom merchandise if you can’t afford it and you should ALWAYS prioritize your primary needs.

Also, if you still want to read the fan-translations that are still available, alright go ahead. But remember that the translators themselves already said fan translations in English are now illegal. You can read it. We all consume pirated contents at one point. But don’t flex about it and diss the official release just because you can’t afford it.

I don’t know if the person who made that reblog tags are going to come at me or not, but even if they do, I literally don’t care. I’m not gonna waste my time arguing with someone with that kind of mindset and will block them right on the spot.

Also Idgaf if they call me out or talk behind my back, I literally don’t know them, so I don’t care.

End of rant.

[taboomonster123]

A trope thing (now that I have come back later with proper time) Sherliam, 75 and 84?

75) Bed Sharing & 84) Married to the Job

Okay so: they’re both clearly married to their jobs/work, albeit in very different ways, but COMBINED WITH BED SHARING FSDHGJKHFSD LISTEN

Sherlock Holmes, canonical messy person, likes to work in bed. And Liam HATES it. Drives him up about a dozen fucking walls. Because Sherlock just leaves all his paperwork and books in the god forsaken bed!

How does he find anything? How does he sleep like this? When does he even wash his sheets because this is the same set as last month and that autopsy report hasn’t fucking moved since are you kidding me—

This is the kind of thing that would come up very early into living together ignoring Victorian England’s Homosexual Moratorium and would absolutely not be something either of them were equipped to handle maturely. Liam might not even ask and just move Sherlock’s shit out of the bed himself. He’d be nice about it the first few times, telling him “Oh btw I put your books up” “?? Okay? Why???” “Because I needed to sleep?? You’re Welcome” but boy howdy would this get passive aggressive very quickly.

First Liam stops telling Sherlock he moved his things. Then he feigns ignorance when asked about it (”Liam??? Did you put the ransom note I was reading on the desk?” “On a desk? And don’t you have that thing memorized by now?” “Well yes but that’s not the point—”) even when it couldn’t have been anyone but him. Then he starts actively fucking with Sherlock, re-ordering blackmail letters alphabetically instead of by date, surreptitiously putting books back on the shelves because he knows Sherlock will spend twenty minutes pulling things out from under the bed before realizing they’re not in the bedroom at all, replacing a bunch of notes with papers that look identical but are entirely blank. Just extremely petty things.

And Sherlock, bless him, I do think he’d try, once he figured out Liam Did Not Like That. I also don’t think he’s entirely capable of thinking about keeping their bed clean while he’s in the middle of a case. This would probably be an ongoing problem, at least until Liam learned to talk to him and politely remind Sherlock that he is not the only 6 foot man sleeping in this bed.

I can also imagine Sherlock complaining about Liam’s pettiness to John, who would immediately and correctly interpret this as “my boyfriend doesn’t like when I’m untidy feel bad for me” and either suggest he pull his head out of his ass for five seconds or just fucking laugh at him. Go clean your bed, Sherlock, your boyfriend needs a place to sleep.

(You can find the prompt list here! Feel free to send me more!)

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

Fanfic recommendations part two: Stories that take place during season 8 (canon divergence)

This is a smaller category than the previous one, but I promise that those stories are amazing. I’ve read and reread every single one of them, and I love them all with all of my heart. I hope this post is useful to you. Lots of love ❤️

(And yes, they are in alphabetical order. I wish I’ve done that with the post season 8 post too, but it’s up for a while now and it would be just too much work to edit the whole thing)

All These Things That I’ve Done by c00kiefic

Story based on the sexual tension between Jackie and Hyde during season 8.

This story is complete.

26k words, 9 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Don’t Stand so Close to Me by c00kiefic

A story when Eric came back way earlier than he planned to because his friends were being dumbasses and needed some direction. Gotta love Eric Forman.

This story is complete and it’s a super fun read, 10/10.

95k words, 24 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Kelso/Brooke, background Red/Kitty

Fear and Loathing in Wisconsin by elphabacan

What if Jackie had decided enough was enough after the slumberparty with Donna and Sam and recruited Brooke to go to Vegas? And what if turnabout is fairplay when they run afoul a charming lounge singer named Jude?

Lots and lots of love for this story. It’s amazing and it’s complete.

42k words, 15 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Brooke/Kelso

Get Away From The Edge by BlueZeppelin

Jackie has been down for a while and it leads her to the Water Tower, alone and depressed. She wants to jump but will Hyde let her?

This story is kind of sad, but it’s still good. I just wish it gave us more details. Don’t read it if you’re triggered by depressive thoughts. It’s complete.

5k words, 3 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

I Think it’s a Real Waste by Jaded

In which Fez and Donna are decent friends to Jackie, and Hyde knows he fucked up. There’s a lot of J/H, but the story also focuses on all the gang. This is a really good story, please read this.

This story is complete.

120k words, 13 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Brooke/Kelso, Fez/OC

Into the Woods by c00kiefic

Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful princess with long raven hair and enchanting eyes, whose only desire was to be loved by the handsome, yet distant prince…

I absolutely adore this story, I really, really do. It reminds me of fairytales and it makes me want to cry at the same time. Also, both Hyde and Donna get an not so pleasant “wake up call”, that they rightfully deserved btw.

This story is complete.

41k words, 10 chapters.

Rated T

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde mainly, some background Eric/Donna angst

Pain Without Love by YouLivexYouDie

This story made me cry so hard. It has a happy ending though, so it was worth it.

Jackie Burkhart is about to experience something life changing. She will never be the same afterwards, nor will the people who love her.

This story is complete.

12k words, 3 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Confession by heavinly-vixen

After the torture Hyde had been inflicting upon Jackie since the arrival of his 'wife', Jackie just needs to talk to someone who's on her side.

This story is complete and it has a sequel! It’s called Reconciliation and it’s also complete.

12k words, 9 chapters.

Rated T. The sequel is rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Made Bare by MistyMountainHop

A heartbroken Hyde considers his relationship with Jackie kaput. Too bad Jackie sees it differently. She intends to get a proper resolution with him, but breaking through his hostility — and getting past his wife — may well prove impossible.

This story is complete.

50k words, 8 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Also available on AO3

Someone To Love by Bunny1

Hyde comes back from his 3 month bender to the unexpected.

This story is complete.

6k words, 7 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The Birds and The Bees by c00kiefic

Jackie’s pregnant and the father of her child is married to someone else. Amazing story, what I love the most about it is Jackie and Donna’s friendship.

This story is basically complete, the only thing missing is the epilogue.

22k words, 6 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

The Right Road Lost by zpplnchick

After a car accident, Hyde wakes up to a twisted version of reality he comes to find is actual hell and with no memory of how he got there, a hell that Jackie's been living in for the past few months. Set during Season 8, shortly after "Sweet Lady".

This story is complete.

43k words, 20 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The Road to Redemption by Hyde’s Bride

Jackie leaves the group because of Hyde and Donna's behavior. Eric comes back early to find how things have changed. When he forms a new bond with Jackie, will it force Hyde and Donna to fight for them? Or will they lose their loves forever?

This story is complete.

33k words, 12 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Jackie/Eric, Eric/Donna

When The Leeve Breaks by zeppelinandunicorns

What would've happened if Jackie and Donna left Point Place when Eric moved to Africa and Hyde married a stripper?

Donna and Jackie moved to Chicago once they realized that they've sacrificed themselves enough for the sake of their relationships with Eric and Hyde. Will it be too late to fix things once the boys realize what they're missing?

This story is a WIP.

So far, 125k words, 23 chapters. This story will be 54 chapters long so... yeah.

Trigger warning: Depression, past eating disorders, child abuse

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Zen Vision by Ultrawoman

A series of one-shots turning each and every episode of the horrendous Season 8 into a happy Jackie and Hyde love affair!

This story is complete.

37k words, 22 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

One-shots during season 8:

Being Here by UnfitWriter

Set in season 8, after Sam's departure. Jackie and Hyde can't stand each other, but when something horrible happens to Hyde, Jackie will try to console him in only way she knows how.

5k words.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Here Comes Goodbye by nannygirl

Sometimes you just have to say goodbye. Or not.

5k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Red/Kitty

Reconnecting by SerenitySparrow

During the party at WB's house in season 8. Jackie and Hyde hook up in a coat closet during the party.

3k words.

Rated M. Very M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Tipping Point by janus_74 (tanner)

How a different Perfect Man list could change the end of Season 8.

4k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

So far, this is all.

I’ll repeat this at the end of every single post: speaking as someone who writes, it would be really cool if you guys decide to leave a review (or a comment, if the story is on AO3) in the stories you read, especially the unfinished ones. It really motivates the authors, and receiving a compliment is always a mood lifter. I’ve seen some authors updating stories after years because of nice reviews, so… yeah, this is just an idea.

If you think I left out a good story, feel free to reply to this post!

Next category: Season 7 fix-its.

[effei-s]

aurora, aurora, aurora.

First and foremost: dear @alwaysreading I’m so sorry that it took me so long. My chaotic ass just won’t ever let me get things done quickly and that’s why I can’t have nice things (c).

(it’s like…. looooong and i’m hoping it’s gonna be interesting).  

Aurora Aurora Aurora, the love of his life (and mine) and the baddest bitch in the house (she’s aries and entj, that alone says a lot).

let’s start with the question: yes, she knew about him marring someone else and about Aaron. i’m gonna be a lazy bitch here and copypaste part from my ff:  

There was a mother-in-law, obsessed with public opinion, who liked to pry and snoop around (and the private detectives she hired, whom he fed to a school of large barracudas at the Gulf of Mexico). And there was the truth that still surfaced, no matter how careful he was. Untimely. Ugly. It left him with an empty house, a short note “please, return to your real family,” and an endless year of solitude.

And now my favorite part: HEADCANONS!

headcanon 1: they’ve met when they were teenagers. I know in mafi’s world people are very indifferent to children’s suffering (Anderson can beat the shit out of Adam in broad daylight almost on the school’s porch and no one would bate an eye; Juliette can go around covered in bruises and no teacher would ever question it), but I prefer a little bit more realistic approach. So when a mother forces fucking BLEACH down child’s throat I expect that that child would be taken away from her.

What i’m trying to say is that Rori and him were in the system (foster care, in the same family, but Aurora was there first; age 14 maybe 15; he probably changed a few different homes, and then he saw her and decided to stay). They started as friends (and that was probably the first real emotional bond he had). And they both were troublemakers. Anderson because he’s… Anderson (whispers; a sociopath and he hates school). And Aurora because she’s walking “I take no bullshit” sign. And sometimes, when people annoy her too much, she tends to break their noses (but her marks are still excellent). So both of them had detentions and suspensions in school, but unlike Anderson Aurora never had any REAL TROUBLES with the police. In their tandem she’s the smart one. And then (at the age of 18) they parted their ways for three years. He went in the army (because it was the easiest choice), she went to college (BA in art conservation in States). Then they’ve met again, started dating, she decided to get a master’s degree in Europe (Switzerland I’d say or Netherlands) and became a full-time art conservator (she’s very passionate about preserving cultural heritage, can you see the conflict here?) and around that time Anderson was introduced to the reestablishment concept.    

here’s the thing, their relationships were always “long-distance thing” (long before he married Leila) and both of them were perfectly fine with this. There was no “i’m gonna die if you’re not near me 24/7” bullshit. There was no “I love you” 35 times a day and holding hands. They just… knew that they love each other and it was enough.

This is probably the reason why I love them together so much: they’re two very strong-willed, stubborn and completely independent people (in this house we hate codependent relationships). They have lives and dreams and goals outside each other (and that’s the reason why they never married in the first place: marriage is a relic of the past, that weird thing for other people).

(of course it backfired at her, badly, he betrayed her trust, he broke her heart; but, trust me, if someone told her that in order to have him only for herself she had to be near him all the time and had to give up her dreams for MA and Ph.D., Rori would say goodbye to him and never look back, no matter how painful it’d be. She loves him, she does, but she loves herself more.)  

Headcanon 2: kids and independence. She won’t make sacrifices for him, but she would make them for her kids. And yes Adam is HER KID. AND HERS ONLY. And the same goes for James. I see how you can catch this “it was one-sided and she didn’t really had a choice” vibe from books. Her sneaking food in secret, him showing anger at the sign of Adam(???). I love @cyanidesouffle interpretation of this: that Cat loved him and hoped that sooner or later he’s gonna come to his senses. Lose the battle, win the war, as the saying go. But if we’re talking only about canon, i’m really not a fan of Anderson who can walk in and out and wreck havoc in HER HOME and implant his stupid ass rules, when he’s the one who’s at fault here. she’s not the one who married other man and had a child! He has no right to be angry at Adam, he has no right even look at him the wrong way. I don’t like how it’s implied that she either had no other option but to submit to his whims or she was too meek to stand up for herself and her son.

my favorite thing about my headcanon girl is that Aurora REALLY doesn’t need him. And she doesn’t even think about him as the father of her kids. The hardest part of it (first pregnancy, labor, first years of Adam’s life) he wasn’t there. He wasn’t there, because she didn’t want him to and because she didn’t need him to. He knows it and it makes him treasure her more (there won’t be any third chances for him, another fuck up like this and he’s out for good). It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows back then, and she wasn’t the kindest and loving with Adam (it’s inevitable when you impulsively decide to have a child to spite the man whom you plan to never see again) but she learned to be, little by little. Although she still was quite demanding of Adam (he literally learned the alphabet with her ‘history of art’ books).

Again: she loves Anderson, that’s why she allowed him to came back, but she loves her son more. So when they decide to start again she’s the one with all aces up her sleeve.  

MY HOUSE. MY KIDS. MY RULES.

(if you don’t like it, then you can kindly fuck off. don’t want to act like a human being? shut the door on your way out. and so help me god if you lay even one finger on Adam)  

There’s her love for him, there’s her love for her work, and then there’s her love for her kids. And she can sacrifice first two, but not the last.

Headcanon 3: it’s more of a AU part, but things would so different if she didn’t die. She won’t be a part of RE, obviously, she won’t marry him even if he’d ask her. BUT!  

a) Leila would be alive. And well. Because Rori would find out the truth, as she always does, and then she would make him fix things. She would probably take Leila under her wind, as a form of punishment for Anderson (oh look I care about your ex-wife more than I care about you, she’s really cool, btw).

b) he won’t be a supreme commander. Actually becoming a supreme was his biggest mistake. Everything gone awry because of the routine. It was fun for a few month, but then the middle-age crisis came and everything went to hell. So Rori would definitely convince him to look at it not from the ‘AAAA MORE POWER EVEN MORE POWER, I’M UNTOUCHABLE!!!’ point, but from ‘i’m gonna need to take REAL responsibility for my actions, and they actually gonna have consequences’  point. 

paris: wow, i really don’t like it. thank you, rori. where would I be without you? 

rori: six feet under, darling, six feet under. 

[barzzal]

barzzal’s mobile guidelines

hi! here are some guidelines for a quick run down of what you can expect on the writing side of this blog. listed below the cut are some rules and hockeys i’ll be writing for. please don’t ignore this post in case you’re planning to send a request. thank you!

requests: closed

masterlist: the barn

writing tags:

imagines, blurbs, headcanons, wet weekends

writing guidelines:

— requests are open! do keep in mind that i write at my own pace but i assure you that i’ll work on it as soon as i can. hope you’ll be fine with that!

— i do appreciate likes, but reblogs and feedbacks will surely go a long way! they’re just as important and it wouldn’t hurt to help a girl out, amirite! appreciate authors and their fics! validate us in the tags!! :’))

— my nsfw works are strictly for adults only! (18+) if you’re a minor, please don’t interact in any of my smut writings. do not consume content you’re not supposed to and was clearly not intended for you.

— i sincerely hope you would be considerate enough to honor all of the things stated on here.

— if you do have more questions, feel free to hmu my askbox is always open for everyone! talk to me!

what i write:

fluff → domestic themes, feel good imagines, all that cute and tooth rotting stuff!

angst → break ups, relationships in a rut, falling out, jealousy, and all that goes under the category of hurting yourself with a fic just to make you feel things... yes i love that pls send more angsty concepts <3

smut → we all want the naaaasty! give it! i don’t write polyamory btw it’s not my strongest suit but we’ll see (we’ll never know)

imagines, blurbs, headcanons → i usually write requests in the form of blurbs/hc. if it gets longer than a blurb i might publish it as a full imagine. but don’t worry, i’ll make sure to include your request on it. do lmk which one you’d want the concept written in.

everything “x fem!reader” → i avoid any race-giving description/s as much as possible even tho i’m a poc. nonetheless, you are free to specify if you want the imagine to be more tailored to you.

real person fiction → i might write au’s occasionally but i prefer writing for them as hockeys and themselves.

also, i love angst more than anything! so pls dont hesitate to send me angsty concepts. <3

what i don’t write:

i hold every right to simply not write what i’m not comfortable with as i give you the right to not support what i wrote if you’re not comfortable with it. give and take boo x

i strictly don’t write for problematic players. i don’t think i need to stress on this any further.

i don’t write for married/family man hockeys. this is pretty self explanatory. pls don’t send requests for gabe landeskog, matt martin, carey price, casey cizikas, travis konecny, and the like. if someone from the list i write for eventually gets married or have a child, assume that they will be taken off it as well.

what you can send other than requests:

my inbox is always open and i answer as soon as i can soo shoot whatever you wanna or just talk and have a chat with me :-))

PLEASE for the love of all things good and pure, send me thots!!! your girl badly needs it

disclaimer: this is fiction. that means the way i write these boys is not/will never be an appropriate justification of how or who they are in real life. rpf authors use celebrities as the yardstick of a certain character limited only as the ff. a face claim, a name, a and few attributes/personalities but it shall never depict how they really are as a person. i love them yes, but keep in mind that they are men. and we all know that men are shitty as hell.

who i write for: you can send blurb/headcanon requests for these people + do not send requests for players that are not on the list

note: the list is in alphabetical order (team wise) and their specific tags. names without links mean i’m yet to write a full-imagine for them. nevertheless, feel free to check my masterlist for blurbs and/or headcanons of said players.

colorado avalanche

mikko rantanen

nathan mackinnon (pending requests)

tyson jost

carolina hurricanes

sebastian aho (concept under wet weekends)

new jersey devils

nico hischier

ryan graves

new york islanders

mathew barzal

pittsburgh penguins

sidney crosby

retired writings (players i no longer write for)

nolan patrick

[urmomsstuntdouble]

so a while ago i made a post with the signatures i made for the characters in 1836, and i was kinda having a lot of fun with it, so i decided to make signatures for all the hetalia characters (im totally not procrastinating with the intensity of the sun rn wym). so here they are, with the names closest to canon that i could find. my commentary is also interspersed. anywho here’s the signatures!

so this first page is of the characters whose names are in latin and cyrillic, the scripts i feel comfortable writing in. this is 99% europeans, plus the us, canada, and cuba. this is alphabetized by the name of the country the character repesents but not their actual human name because im a dumbass, except for the last three, which are russia, belarus, and ukraine. belgium doesn’t have a canon last name, so i deferred to netherlands’ surname for her. denmark’s name here is magnus densen, which is the only full name given in canon. there are other potential first names and last names given for him (none of which are mathias kholer btw) but seeing as magnus densen is the only actual full name, that’s the one i decided to go with. i also used erzebet as hungary’s name, and beilshmidt for germany (who doesn’t have a canon last name but you know. siblings with prussia), tolys for lithuania, timo for finland, antoño for spain (more old fashioned than antonio), vash for switzerland, and irinya chernenko for ukraine. 

this second one is mostly asian countries with scripts that i dont know how to write in/am not comfortable writing in. for most of the asian countries, and egypt, it’s common to use signet rings as a form of signature. im not confident in my ability to create unique signets for all of them and in five different languages that i niether speak nor know the script for, so i left that out. egypt’s official name is gupta mohammad hassan, but since the p sound doesn’t exist in modern egyptian arabic, i decided it wouldn’t make sense for him to have gupta as one of his names. while he would probably speak coptic, i doubt that many members of the government or even your average egyptian who’d be seeing his name on official papers (cops if he gets pulled over for speeding, personal credit card, etc) would be able to pronounce it. coptic is sort of in the same boat as latin with its status as a dead language that some people speak as a second language, and i don’t think there have been any native speakers for a few hundred years. for greece, i gave him both a roman and greek signature, because im a bit more familiar with the greek script than any of the asian ones. seychelles is included here rather than on the latin only sheet because she doesn’t have a canon surname. making it bonnefoy is a bit weird imo and not logically consistent with how former colonies names work in canon (look no further than any character from the americas), so i gave her my own. her name here is michelle vinot. hong kong also has his english name, leon, next to his cantonese name, but i wasn’t sure if he had an english surname, so i just left it as a first name (he’s already got a cantonese surname so i didn’t think an english one was necessary). anyway uh final note is that i hope taiwan and hong kong’s signatures are different enough from china’s bc i wanted them to be somewhat similar, but with varying degrees of divergence from china. 

anyway that’s all i have for now, i hope these were cool! ta ta for now

edit: i tried tagging them in the order they appear (in case you cant read one of them) but apparently theres a limit to how many tags you can put on a post, so they’re under the cut now 

america/alfred f jones

austria/roderich edelstein

belgium/emma morgens

canada/matthew williams

cuba/máximo machado

denmark/magnus densen

england/arthur kirkland

estonia/eduard von bock

finland/timo väinämöinen

france/francis bonnefoy

germany/ludwig beilshmidt

hungary/erzebet héderváry (forgot the accent marks on the actual signatue)

iceland/emil steilsson

lithuania/tolys laurinaitis

liechtenstein/lily zwingli

latvia/raivis galante (end of 1st sheet left column)

monaco/lucille bonnefoy

norway/lukas bondevik

poland/feliks łukasiewicz

prussia/gilbert beilshmidt

romano/lovino vargas

spain/antoño fernandez carriedo

sweden/berwald oxtenstierna

switzerland/vash zwingli

veneziano/feliciano vargas

russia/ivan braginsky/Иван Брагинскы

belarus/natalya arlovskaya/Наталыа Арловскаыа

ukraine/irinya chernenko/ириныа черненко (end of 1st sheet right column)

china/wang yao/王瑤 (i used google translate for this. i apologise. also used the traditional option)

egypt/muhammad hassan/محمد حسن (arabic from google translate)

greece/herakles karpusi/Ηρακλής καρπούζι (greek from google translate)

hong kong/wang ka lung | leon/王家龙 (simplified chinese from google translate)

japan/honda kiku/本田菊 (from google translate)

south korea/im yong soo/ 임수용 (hangul from google translate)

seychelles/michelle vinot

tawian/lin xiao mei/林小梅 (simplified chinese from google translate)

turkey/sadik adnan/صادق عدنان (arabic from google translate. the turkish alphabet is very similar to the latin one and not all turks use arabic to sign their names, however, it was common for sultans and other members of the upper class to have very elaborate signets called tughras which used arabic calligraphy. i feel like a country would have something about as fancy, and that turkey is the sort of guy who would want one, so here’s his name in arabic. idk that he’d use it all that much these days, but woo! history!)

[thesunshinebunny]

Idk if your taking requests right nowww buuut can you do Erik and Damian fighting over s/o? Ahhh sorry if I’m weird nahsjshjd I love ur writing btw❤️💕💖

Oh boy…ohhhhhhh boooy!!! The house is on FIRE

Thank u so much for your sweet comment ❤️❤️❤️❤️

PD: I maaaaaaaaaaaaayyy have used as reference The Prince vs The Brute episode (maybe, it’s a big maybe)

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The day started like any other, a normal day. The sun rising at the horizon, one or two birds singing, the wind hitting lightly on the window and the heat of spring entering through the pores of the skin. Except that, in a normal life, you don't have five incubi sleeping under your same roof, waiting like any mortal for the first rays of the sun to start a productive day. Nor on a normal day is the slight knock on the door, knowing that one of the incubros awaits your response on the other side of it.

But these were normal days for you.

With a hoarse voice you allowed to enter the incubus who was waiting patiently, ignoring the reason for his morning awakening.

"I'm sorry it's too early, I couldn't go back to sleep and ... well, I made you breakfast"

Ahh, Damien, as thoughtful as ever. Even in your sleepy state you could feel the sweetness in his voice and how his feet moved on the carpet, avoiding making any noise that could bother you.

"This is the best way to wake up, thanks Damien." You felt the sheets sink to the empty side of the bed. Damien put the tray on the nightstand and waited for you to straighten up and be able to calmly open your eyes.

It took a few seconds, but when you were finally able to take your eyes off, your sight was rewarded with the warm orange-haired smile. But when your nose unconsciously smelled the aroma of toast with Nutella, your stomach growled with hunger. What a shame.

"Pff- hahaha, I'm glad to hear that you're hungry. I did a lot of things to tell the truth ”

He was right. On the tray you could see the pair of toasts, a cup of freshly made black coffee, a glass with orange juice, a bowl with small slices of fruits and some mini waffles in the shape of a bear.

"How adorable Damien, thank you very much."

"Sorry to disturb you, Your Highness, but ... oh, I see you've already been awakened." Erik was standing under the doorway, holding a huge bouquet of red roses. His gaze however didn’t find yours but his younger brother.

"Good morning Erik, the flowers look beautiful"

"Ah yes! These flowers are fresh from the gazebo, I hope they’re for your delight, your Highness ”

He put the bouquet down on my nightstand and gave you a nice smile before heading back to the door. "I was going to say that breakfast was going to be ready in a few minutes, but apparently my brother went ahead"

And with that he closed the door, leaving you and Damien alone in the room again.

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During the noon and afternoon, having the mansion almost empty, you devoted yourself to review notes and books that were left in virtual classes. But still spending boring hours just reading, you also had the time to teach Damien. For weeks you was teaching him to read and write and now he can write the whole alphabet and read kids short stories. Sometimes you can see the frustrated face when he try to read your books and don't succeed. 

And that's where you come to the rescue! (baby steps Damien, baby steps)

“The audi… audio-visual montage is a process of uniting… uniting…”

"Uniting pieces of film to create sequences, ending in a final tape"

You appeared discreetly in the library doorframe. Damien was trying again to read a book from one of your subjects and from what you could hear, he had improved, but he had problems him a few words.

"You know the whole book backwards?" Damien scoffed slightly, setting the book down on the small coffee table.

"More or less, I mean, they are going to take an exam soon, it’s better to learn it as soon as possible"

You sat next to him on the sofa, leaving some children's stories on the table. A friend of your parents, who had become a father few years ago, lent them to you for a certain time.

"Thank you for helping me, but you shouldn't waste your time on me." He put his hand over yours and gave you a slight yet sad smile.

"No problem Damien, I like to help you and spend time with you" His eyes began to shine, but not because he’s about to cry, on the contrary, you could see a slight happiness in them. Which disappeared when a melody began to sound from the living room. 

Someone was playing the piano. 

The tune was slow and smooth, I would say even romantic. You and Damien went down the stairs to the source of the sound. In the living room, sitting at the piano, was Erik with a small glass pot with a red rose on it.

"Good afternoon, Your Highness, Damien. I'm sorry for the sound, but it had been days since I played a little ballad and seeing this little rose when I returned from work gave me the necessary energy ”

His slow voice accompanied the notes of the melody, as if he’s singing. As you went down the big stairs, Damien stayed behind you, watching as his older brother used his boring compliments. Perhaps the evening sunrays made the scene more romantic than Damien wanted to accept.

He watched how your gaze was lost between Erik's skillful fingers on the piano and how his gaze was lost on your innocent and happy smile. Damien's eyes flashed with determination; determination of not to let his brother win your heart.

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"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!!"

"I'm trying to make us dinner, I don't know what you are trying to do"

A great uproar could be heard coming from the kitchen. Damien and Erik were apparently trying to cook in unison, but they couldn't get along with each other, much less make a decently cooked meal.

"Erik, it should be impossible to say this, but you are burning the water."

"And you Damien, dear little brother, you don't know how to clean a fish bone"

"Do you think you can do better?!"

"What The Hell Is Going On Here?!?!" James stormed into the kitchen to find his two younger brothers barely making a pitched battle in it. Pots scattered on the countertops, small puddles of water and bits of scales on the floor. You didn't have to have the ability to read minds to know that James wasn’t just fucking them up and down, but that he was counting from 0 to 1000 in milliseconds so as not to kill them right now.

“Both of you. OUT. NOW ” Both brothers left the sight of James with their heads down and when they were about to cross the threshold the brunette spoke again “If you have something to fix or just want to have a real fight, go outside to the gazeboo”

When they went out to the dining room they could hear their brother talking on the phone, apparently ordering Chinese food since the food had been spoiled.

"If you end up destroying the plants I will kill you"

A minute later, loud screams could be heard from outside the mansion.

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"What's going on outside? Who is fighting?” You ran downstars to the dining room trying to understand the situation. You had heard a few small screams a few minutes ago, but didn’t understood a word, not even the context.

"Miss / Mister, you better stay out of this..."

"James? What do you mean?" The incubus was standing in front of the front door holding two bags, apparently of Chinese food. Weird coming from James, who was always willing to cook.

“Well… let's say… Erik and Damien have some business to settle. I don't think it's a good idea that you get involved. ”

You understood very well the fighting between brothers, it was something that an outsider to that bond couldn’t fully involve. You’re about to help James bring the food to the table when the screaming from outside increased.

"YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME JUST BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW TO SEDUCE ?!"

"WITH OR WITHOUT MY GIFTS OF SEDUCTION I WILL MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME"

What? What they were fighting about? Or… maybe… for WHO were they fighting?

"I LOVE THEM. I LOVE (Y/N) AS I NEVER LOVED BEFORE”

Oh no. They were fighting over you. 

That’s not good.

"I LOVE THEM TOO, AND I WILL NOT LET YOU TAKE THEIR HEART WITHOUT FIGHTING"

You bolted out the door of the gazebo and opened it wide. Even before opening it, you could feel a slight charge of their powers, they were about to transform into their original form and it was better to stop this.

"You better stop that RIGHT NOW"

Both brothers were frozen in their places. Damien's skin tattoos peeked over the collar of his shirt and Erik's eyes shone with that golden color characteristic of his race. They stared at you for a long time, so long it made it uncomfortable. You were about to speak again when Erik cut you off.

“You heard our fight, we have nothing to hide" His eyes returned to normal and he gave Damien and you a sad look.

"I don't want to continue fighting anymore" Damien instead tried to avoid your gaze, like a sad and wet dog, but something in the environment prevented him from avoiding it for a long time.

"Me neither" Erik looked you straight in the eyes while giving off an intense aura "The decision is yours, your Highness"

"Erik! You can't ask them like that out of nowhere”

"It’s not our place to decide who is best for them. It’s their heart”

"In that ... you're right" Damien walked to position himself in front of you "The decision is yours"

.

.

Support me on Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/abrightsunshine

[xwhitewolfv]

Ok so I need to rant about an SCP for a sec

In SCP 1050, the obelisk has an inscription in a form of proto latin by a dude called Legalus Maximus Romulus. It's dated to around 53,000 BCE according to the article. The obelisk itself is dated to have been created around 48,000 BCE. So yes, somehow an inscription in proto latin predates the actual obelisk itself. Ok but here is where things start to bother me. You don't need to be linguist to know that there was no established written language form 50,000 years ago (at least I am 99% sure), not to mention the proto latin itself is stated by the article to be of some unknown alphabet variant, which is fine, except for the fact that it predates any known empire, kingdom, agriculturally advanced society, whatever. I don't know if this is intentional, but I'll get to that in a minute.

The person who apparently wrote the inscription was made by the name mentioned above, which when I tried to figure out if this was a real person (the only results that came up was THE actual Romulus, founder of Rome who would have been in office at around 700 BCE) which not only doesn't correspond with the original carving he's attached to, (plus the like 6 others carvings after from civilisations that predate Rome historically) but he is also from a time period where proto latin wouldn't have been used. Unless this isn't actually Romulus (i don't know if his full name was actually Legalus Maximus Romulus and frankly I kinda don't care) or this is some dude fucking with the inscriptions to make it seem like it was this person, but they time travelled 53,000 years ago. (Was it Clef? Probably, idk, its always him)

So overall:

An inscription that predates the actual obelisk itself,

is written in an unknown alphabet of proto latin in a time period where no languages (in terms of an alphabet, prefixes, vowels, fucking whatever is in a written language don't come at me I know jack shit) existed

Is written by some Roman person who if it is THE actual Romulus (i mean there aren't many people with that name, and the other inscriptions were made by other prominent rulers and figures throughout history, so following this pattern it would be safe to assume it is him) would have existed around 700 BCE, possibly not writing in any form of proto latin nor correspond with the date of the inscription

Not the mention the fact that proto latin doesn't have a concise written form in real life, but since its established in the article as being written in an unknown alphabet related to proto latin it's ok /g

So, by itself this is fine and dandy. Why? Because the date of the inscription and the language could be anomalous, which ties into the anomalous nature of the obelisk as an 'interstellar early warning system'. However, I literally cannot find anything in the article that actually mentions the anomalous nature of the date of inscription and how it contradicts the actual date of the obelisk's supposed creation. Either there is nothing there or I am REALLY stupid (most likely I have missed something because I am in fact, very hopeless) Everything else in the article makes sense to me, it features inscriptions of languages that are accurately dated to their approximated date and are listed as such chronologically, as well as the addition of unknown scripts and symbols that act as nicely embedded pieces of lore and possible history within the universe that this story was created in. Ancient and anomalous civilisations aren't are foreign concept in the SCP foundation, some of the best stories on there utilise these concepts to strengthen their storytelling. I literally have no problems with SCP 1050, I think its a great article and the author really did their research, but this detail bothers the fuck out of me because I can't find any reason as to why this would be mentioned as such. Now you are probably thinking, 'it could have been a typo', and yes, that is what I thought initially as well. Except for the fact that the article has been around for around 8 years, and the original author has not rectified this perceived 'typo'. Barely anyone in the discussion page of the article actually mentions this and I feel like I am loosing my mind a bit. Am I missing something?

Furthermore, (haha you thought this was over. Fuck u I'm not done bitch) the author has responded to comments identifying this typo, with one of the responses hinting that the author themselves did not intend for this to be in the final article, which I call bullshit; "I'll go digging through my notes and try and figure out a satisfactory answer for you. It's entirely conceivable that I messed up (I don't remember specifically where the 53,5██ BCE number came from) - in which case it might be a bit before I can correct not only the in-article text but the images of the carving. I had to do enough calculations for this article that I wouldn't be at all surprised if I made an error at some point..." A post from an admin indicates that at some point, someone edited the article to correct the date of the "proto latin" inscription in order to make it "Philologically plausible" (anyone can edit your SCP articles btw, with the proper permission and guidelines followed). From the admin's comment, the edit was reverted, as according to the author: "The unusual age of the writing is a key part of the anomaly" (can't find where they've stated this) and so this indicates that the date for the inscription WAS intentional, despite it not making any sense. Now before you go "this is the SCP FOUNDATION, we got a statue that looks like a peanut and a giant edgy reptile it doesn't NEED TO MAKE SENSE" which you are completely justified in saying. I too, really enjoy concepts and texts that do not make sense, because that's the great thing about writing surreal, cosmic horror, sci-fi, abstract pieces, you don't need to have your concepts make perfect logical sense because thatsTHE WHOLE POINT. Of course it helps to explain certain elements within your own universe in order for it to make a little realistic, but overall they're amazing, creative releases that I just adore. And so this part of the article really throws me for a loop, because it just stands out amongst all the other languages and inscriptions. Proto latin is a language, its date and alleged author on the obelisk however, contradicts the creation of the obelisk, which could link to its initial anomalous features (I'd like to point out that the obelisk is one part of the SCP, in fact I am quite literally extremely fixated on this one detail when it could be nothing of use) this isn't meant to mar the good quality of the article, it's just something that doesn't sit right with me because I can't piece it together into the story

Its almost 1am, my rant is done goodnight. I'm gonna look back on this in the morning and wonder wtf I was talking about

[fantastic-rambles]

I just watched ep. 11 (so SPOILERS) and am now praying that Tadashi isn’t as stupid as he seems and has some super secret plan in the works bc the path he’s going down will clearly do the opposite of help Adam. He literally used the right equation, but got the wrong answer 😑 He said “Oh abandonment + isolation issues?? Lemme just abandon our shared endeavor (again) so that you rely upon only one person who dislikes you and doesn’t give two shits about you beyond your skating skill 😃” Ah yes how lovely that’ll work out. I’d never blame Tadashi for all of Adam’s issues but why does he keep dropping the ball?? Please sir, I beg you to consider showing a crumb of emotion/commitment so that Adam knows you care and will be less of a hilariously terrifying menace. The change in the end credit sequence gives me a little bit of hope that Tadashi will figure out how to be there for Adam the right way (caring about his person more than his image). Honestly surprised how much content we got on Tadashi and Adam. Highlighting their relationship and how much Tadashi wants to help Adam, makes Adam falling so low in this episode much sadder. The parallels between them and Renga hurt so bad. And the way they explicitly explained one of them to us for the ppl who think Tadashi does/should hate Adam 😶. I was honestly hoping for more chronologically clear backstory, but I’m still surprised by how focused this ep was on them and seeing the contrast between them as blushing little kids to now.

And I know you said you see Tadashi as closest to the God figure with the references. But look how the race with Reki (apple) further corrupted Adam, but provided a moment of enlightenment to Tadashi (snake [og Eve? Lilith?]). While the Snake brought the apple to the garden, wasn’t it also Eve who gave into it? Idk I’m starting to feel like Tadashi is misnomered bc of the backstory and how he has no malicious intent in taking him down. And even though Lilith is known for not being subservient to Adam, in a way Tadashi fits by hurting the relationship when making the one big stand siding with Adam’s father (possibly the devil in Adam’s POV) and what Adam would probably consider to be the sin (giving up skateboarding). This is kind of confusing bc I definitely think that Adam sees losing skating as the ‘sin’. But Tadashi views skating as the ‘sin’. So while Tadashi sees himself as the snake (fundamentally lower and a negative influence) Adam could have seen him as a Lilith (With him in the garden first and equal with him until he fell [down into his subservient role]). I think this ep highlights that bc of Tadashi’s contrasting teacher and servant roles, when in childhood they were somewhat equal. I think the only way Tadashi truly falls into the ‘God’ role is if he really does go through with forfeiting and basically offers up Langa (Eve) to Adam. (Btw I have virtually 0 bible knowledge so I am very under qualified to be making these inferences lmao)

I was so worried when it seemed Reki was gonna win bc it would’ve seemed so unrealistic to me. I totally blocked out that outcome until he did the cliff jump and I got nervous lol. I do like that the reason Reki pulled ahead and the reason he lost are the same thing. Reki does have a unique strength of innovation with boards but it doesn’t automatically get him to the levels of those more skilled.

Also very happy about the 🍵🌸 moment of Joe not even arguing about pushing Cherry. Did Cherry purposefully not use his Carla wheelchair just so Joe would have to help him?? I guess we’ll never know. Also Joe’s face watching Cherry laugh at Adam (I think showing Cherry moving on from his admiration of him). Idc what anyone says, Joe is totally pining for Cherry and it’s so sweet.

Oh and!! The investigation is doing a raid?! Jail for Adam ig bc there’s no way they’ll include that as a plot point for everything to come back clean. (And if Tadashi takes the fall not just bc the order but bc he actually thinks that what best, I will never forgive his dumbass 😤 Adam probably wouldn’t even function without Tadashi anyways since he takes care of so much)

I don’t remember if I mentioned it to you or someone else, but I didn’t think Adam would end up ultimately skating against Tadashi because their relationship is irreparably broken (at least right now), so Adam isn’t willing to listen to anything Tadashi has to say and wouldn’t really be able to learn anything if they raced since the only thing he seems to feel towards Tadashi is resentment: long-term resentment from when he was younger, and a stronger sense of it now after Tadashi tried to use it to force him to quit. So Tadashi forfeiting and giving the race to Langa makes sense to me in terms of Tadashi realizing that he really screwed up and that the only person who can really save Adam at this point/revive his “pure” love for skating is Langa, because Langa’s the only person Adam considers an equal. Because if Adam can return to that state of “innocence,” then he could simply enjoy skating for the sake of skating, and he would be able to skate with anyone regardless of their skill level, rather than needing someone at his level. In other words, he would no longer need an Eve, a perfect partner just for him.

And I will never say no to more Adam backstory. Even though it didn’t really show us anything especially novel. xD

Uh. So... I’ve got even less Biblical knowledge than you, lol. I have no idea who Lilith is and what she does. -goes off to do some research-

Okay, so based on The Alphabet of Ben-Sira, I personally don’t think that Tadashi is Lilith, since he clearly is considered inferior to Adam by pretty much everyone, including himself. Between Eve and Lilith, he strikes me as more Eve. The incident with Adam’s father (glad to know that he’s actually dead, lol) was also him taking a passive/subservient role to his “master.” And even as a child, he understood that he wasn’t Adam’s equal, even though he taught Adam how to skate. Again, in terms of skill, yeah, they’re on the same level, but socially, they weren’t/aren’t. So to me, Langa actually fits the idea of Lilith better, because Adam does see him as an equal, and Adam will most likely end up losing to Langa, who would refuse to “lie below” Adam, and who rejects Adam and runs away (with Reki). But yeah, Tadashi literally giving Langa to Adam (whether Langa is “Eve” or “Lilith”) definitely reinforces my Tadashi as God thoughts. (Though again, with a duality of also being Eve, at least originally.) xD

Absolutely agree regarding the really close result of Adam/Reki. Yeah, there’s an explanation for why Reki could get ahead of Adam (and Adam’s got a longboard, which has less maneuverability), but even with those taken into account (and Adam’s really weird/kinda OOC imo moment of self-doubt), I still don’t think it should have ended up as a photo finish given their vast difference in skill level. If Adam can catch up even after giving Reki a half-course head start under normal conditions, there’s no reason for him to not be able to easily beat Reki, even after taking everything into consideration, other than protagonist plot armor/drama. Though my dislike of Reki is also lessening (thankfully) now, regardless. Like, Reki isn’t a bad kid. I get that. I just found him to be super obnoxious and toxic in a typical teen way. ^^;

I was pretty sure Reki wouldn’t win, but I was annoyed that he lost by such a small margin, because yeah, that seems unrealistic.

Cherry absolutely ditched Carla to make Joe push him around. <3

But yeah, Adam is absolutely getting in trouble and more than likely going to jail. I’m still holding out hope that he’ll have an epiphany and turn himself in rather than make Tadashi take the fall, but I’d be equally happy if he just continued spiraling into madness. Either way, his character development would be fantastic. xD

[djarrex]

Hi everyone, just wanted to address what happened last night along with some other things from before that all tie in together.

There’s multiple parts to the following post - please make sure you read all of it if you’re gonna take the time to even start.

It was midnight and y'all were still jumping in on anon and telling me how I'm awful for not commenting, owning up, or taking responsibility - I should have been in bed. I have a life and job outside this app; and with the several of you in my inbox and it being too late at night to address each, I’m gonna do it now. I can’t not say something about all of this. I just can’t keep quiet and ignore the problem - it’s not fair to you all. Deleting one post already has you guys even more riled up and all I wanted to do was offer something better than a “half-hearted apology” (it was very late at night when I wrote that very short apology, and wanted a redo tbh). 

I really didn't want to make a long post like this. I reached out to a select few on here because I care about them (there's more of you, but like I said, it was at the time after midnight and I was fucking exhausted). but I was being demanded for accountability. So here I am.

Allow me to be real with you all, if that's ok. If it's not, well, idk. First I wanna address all you anons, who, instead of speaking to me one on one about all this, want to criticize me and shame me and my writing when truthfully it feels like you haven't even read more than a handful of my work. I didn’t realize that I write the clones all the same way? That I always make them super aggressive and uncaring and dom? “you write every single clone as so dominant instead as unique individual men with their own personalities” Interesting. See, that right there tells me you haven't read nearly enough of my stuff for me to believe that's true. That's one accusation I absolutely will not back you on because I know it’s inaccurate - saying how I group the clones into some overly-aggressive, and uncaring category - that I always write all of them as mean in bed because they're men of color. And hey, if I do write rough smut - which yeah, it's out there and I write it, as do a lot of you - there are warnings at the beginning, aftercare, dialogue, reader sharing their feelings, and most importantly... consent between the two. That’s what warnings are for, so that you know what you’re going to be reading. That’s why I, as we all do, appreciate warnings listed at the tops of fics; honestly, write them sub or dom or switch or however you want but don’t come at me like that. I’m sorry if I'm coming across as rude because I'm usually not, I’m one of the nicest people you’ll meet, but I will not stand idly by while you chastise my writing (writing that is pretty much the same type of stuff a lot of you write & rb with the same characters) that you haven’t read enough of to back such claims.

Next: Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart,

I get it. Really, I do. I fully understand the problem of whitewashing in SW along with almost everywhere else, and I do not agree with it. It's a huge problem, and it needs to be rectified. Now just because I don't speak publicly about it and opt out of publicly shaming TBB, doesn't mean that I agree with what’s going on. Not everyone is comfortable with sharing their opinions on a subject, no matter what that subject is or which side they're on. You live and you learn when it comes to that. 

It has never been my intention to fetishize POC in my writing, which btw, the same people who are saying that it is my intention are the ones claiming I portray all of the clones as the same, aggressive men, lacking their individuality. It’s a claim that is simply not true, and I know I have followers on here to back me up on that. I know what I've written; how about you check it out and tell me that you don't see the words "soft" or "fluff" or "cuddling" or “gentle” or “tender” within my work linked in my ML. Clone character being a good partner and father? Tender love making? Holding each others faces in their hands? “We/you survived” sex? Taking care of their partner? Saying “I love you” to one another? Confirming the safe word and going slow at first? Oh my - riveting and harsh stuff - totally unacceptable.  

Now: My admittedly problematic writings of Rex + Zygerria,

I went into writing that rp fic totally unaware and unknowing of the true implications. For that, I sincerely apologize. When I posted the NSFW alphabet, that’s when I was called out on that rp fic - not when I first posted it. Which the timeline doesn’t matter, I know that, but it concerns me a little bit that no one spoke up about it sooner - letting me dig myself deeper into a hole that I didn’t realize I was inside of in the first place. I've apologized once, and I know that doesn't negate what happened; I acknowledged my mistake back then, but I suppose that wasn’t good enough. I had asked you, anon, to message me to give me guidance, to teach me on what to do about the fic - you stayed hidden. Well, respectfully, what the fuck? I know we're all adults but don't lecture me and avoid me when I’d literally reached out for guidance on how to properly rectify the issue. I fixed my wording in some of my fics (the things I’ve caught upon rereading them) because I recognized and more importantly learned about and from my mistakes along with the unintentional negative implications of how I wrote those characters. Some of y'all wanna tell me that I "haven't learned"? Who are you, my personal blog police? My professor? My life coach? Are you even my friend? If I'm wrong and haven't learned, then fucking educate me. I worked hard on that rp fic, just like I do with a majority of what I write, but it doesn’t matter because I will delete it knowing that it’s harmful to others and I apologize for inadvertently romanticizing slavery with what I wrote - it was unintentional, and I’m truly sorry to those who have been hurt by it. I know it’s wrong, and there’s no proper excuse for it. Can’t go back in time, but consider it gone now.

Since that first wakeup call, I’ve been working hard to ensure I avoid using certain words and ideas when describing the clones in my fics. If there’s still something you see that isn’t correct or is inappropriate, please tell me! Don’t hold it in but then jump on the “attack M” bandwagon. Private message me, or come peacefully off or on anon, there will be no hard feelings. I don’t mind being corrected when I make a mistake - that’s just part of life, we all make mistakes and we live and learn from them. Making mistakes doesn’t = scumbag human. When you hold your breath and choose not to take the time to guide me, and if I appear to still be making the same mistakes, well, idk. I’m telling you right now that I do not mind if you message me with the good intention of pushing me in the right direction. When you come at me with hostility on anon, well, no thank you. To the anons that came without rage: thank you! I read what you wrote, and I have a better understanding as to how my writing had hurt the lovely followers of mine, and tried to address as much as possible in this post. See, angry mob anons? It costs zero credits to be kind and offer up your thoughts and advice with a good heart. I’m not going to hate you or block you if you try to correct me. I don’t block unless you’re a snoopin’ minor. Just don’t hold a knife to my throat.

Now: Why did I delete the tags and then my response to that anon ask? 

Simply put: I felt awful. Deleting it doesn’t immediately mean I’m hiding from it and ignoring the issue. I wanted to come up with a better apology, explanation, whatever you wanna call it, because my followers deserve that. The ones who enjoy my work, the ones who interact, the ones who I call my friends, the ones who know that I’m a good person. Didn’t want to leave the tags/post floating around all night, giving more people time to sharpen their pitchforks and join the mob while I attempted to sleep. Trust me, I know saying that I had no ill intentions when tagging that post doesn’t make it better nor does it make it go away. I’m just trying to show you my point of view, that I knew immediately how I should not have tagged it that way, so that’s why I deleted them. I corrected my mistake. But y’all are too fucking quick I swear.

One more thing:

I know some of you who had called me out with the passive-aggressive inbox messages are still following me, and for what? You don’t like what I post, which is why one would follow another in the first place, so why bother sticking around? Do you feel like you need to police my blog? You want to be there the literal minute I make a mistake? I’m gonna turn off anon for a bit, so if you wanna discuss, message me. Just know that if you’re going to come at me with knives out, I probably won’t reply to you. 

To conclude:

I’m sorry. Truly sorry for the entire Rex + Zygerria outfit + slaver ordeal with both the fic from a while ago and then the tags from last night. We can’t go back in time; the only option is to correct past mistakes that are able to be corrected, and then move on with new knowledge that’ll aid in me working even harder to ensure my writing isn’t inappropriate or offensive, and doesn’t hurt my followers nor the characters I write for. I’m still going to write self-indulgent filth and fluff, post-order 66 Rex, and other misc shit. I enjoy writing fanfic, as I know a lot of you enjoy reading what I write and love to talk to me about it. I hope that this didn’t come off as me being a bitch, because I’m really not. I enjoy interacting with the handful of people on here that I’d call my friends, and I love reading your reactions and tags to my fics when you’re excited and/or horny (LOL). It’s just after lunch time where I’m at, so I hope you have a great rest of the day/night/morning whatever for wherever you are.  

<3 

M