#if you listen carefully you can hear my own heart breaking

[jtownraindancer]

Ace's TURИ for Burn Rewatch: Hearts and Minds

[mochiroreo]

I had to sign to the Devil now I’m on

Alpha!Rafe Cameron & Alpha!JJ Maybank x Omega!reader

TW: 18+ MDNI, NON-CON, DUBCON, afab!reader, reader being called “honey” most of the time, toxic alpha behavior, threesome, rough unprotected P in V, creampie, fingering, squirting, oral ( f receiving), choking,degradation, biting, primal play (non-consensual), a/b/o terminologies, marking/bonding, spitting, (let me know if I have missed anything!)

Author’s note: screw my halloween thingy. i clearly underestimated myself by thinking that I can write something short and call it a day while working full-time and writing book reviews as a side job lol. love you all and thanks for sticking around!

P.s. this is not beta’d hehe. We die like men.

“Do you need anything else?” Concern was evident on your mother’s voice, her shadow showing that she’s still outside your door, patiently waiting for an answer. “I-I’m fine mom..” you breathlessly answered “I t-think I can h-handle this for now.. thank you.” Before you even finished thanking her, another wave of nausea made you stumble towards you toilet. You tried to empty your stomach that was already empty for days now, puking your heart out.

Hearing you vomiting, your mom entered the room and held your hair out of the way, kneeling with you while rubbing soft circles on your back. She helped you cleaned up yourself, gently laying you down on your bed before arranging an array of snacks and microwaveable soups near your desk along with medication that might help ease out the pain and.. heat spells.

“I will ask your dad to give you space, we will go out for a few days, I know how much you hate our scents at this time. I am so sorry honey I cannot help you—“ “it’s alright mom. This is already too much.” You smiled at her, easing her nerves before quickly pressing a kiss on your forehead, trying not to overwhelm you with her own scent. “Just message us once you feel like its over, okay? Or anything, really.” Giving a curt nod, she left your room, hearing her softly talking to your dad.

Both of your parents are Alphas, based on the genetics class that you took, you have to be an Alpha as well. Everyone around you presented months ahead of you, some even years. Being the only late-bloomer at a small town, word quickly travelled and you were labelled as the “odd” one. You ignored them though, confidently assuring yourself that you are going to be one of the small numbers of being an Alpha. Omegas were very rare as well, yet you would rather be an Alpha with how severe Omega heats are. And as far as you know, if an Omega presents, their heat immediately follows. You really don’t want to be handling two major things in one sitting.

Something in your gut was not feeling right as you listen to your lecturer, taking notes on all the possible symptoms for every class.

You were having a small crisis during one of your breaks at the university, frustrated at still not having a status on the ‘hierarchy’ while ignoring texts from 2 annoying people that you try not to meet on campus every day. Your phone kept on vibrating, making you sigh in annoyance and proceeding to block those 2 numbers despite knowing that they will find another way to send you messages.

The two annoying people that got blocked was JJ and Rafe, who happens to be the top Alphas on the campus that you pay no mind to. Who also happens to be the people you have drunkenly slept with after a night long of partying for the first time. Waking up sandwiched in between of them, all three of you covered in bites and hickeys, your mind quickly presented every possible thing that the woman at campus might do to you. You carefully slide out of their hold and quickly dressed up, tiptoed your way out without even leaving a note.

You tried to act normal the next day, thinking that if you don’t pay any attention to them they wouldn’t notice you nor remember what happened that night. But with how heavy their gazes are towards you, you quickly realised that they are not on the same page as you are. Confusion ate you as to why would it bother them, but you continued to avoid them and their gazes. It was quiet for a while, before they started texting you. It went from “Hi. Its JJ :)” “Hey its Rafe” to “Would really love to feel you again” “you were so hot that night” which made your cheeks burn in embarrassment, quickly deleting their messages, only to be met with a new number and tons of missed calls.

You do not get their obsession at all, cause you are pretty sure you were hammered that night. Shots after shots, cocktails after cocktails, you were sure you just got wild and did the usual things to them that would be done with a normal hook up. You did not expect your first time partying to end up in their arms, but sure as hell you do not want to experience whatever might happen if word goes out that you slept with the “hottest” people in your university.

Sighing, you stared at your melting smoothie. The gloomy weather was affecting you as you slowly face the sky. You looked down at your sprawled out notes, trying to talk to yourself to study instead of overthinking about when you would present. The sky looks gloomier, making you quickly pack your things as it looks like its going to rain, when suddenly you felt dizzy.

You quickly balanced yourself, clutching your bag near your chest in shock. You were just thinking on what might be the reason before another wave of dizziness hits you once again. Sitting down slowly on the bench, you quickly messaged your bestfriend if she can take you home. Your best friend immediately came to where you are, helping you on her car. “Holy fuck you look so pale” she commented in the middle of the drive towards your house, your hair sticking at your nape and your forehead as you feel hot and cold at the same time.

Your best friend told your parents what happened, letting you rest. A few days rest would be enough, you thought. That clearly did not work. 5 days went by like a blur, days were spent on having the highest fever ever to vomiting the soup that you ate for lunch. And with how severe and noticeable the symptoms are, your parents chose to go out for a while to not overwhelm you with their pheromones, leaving you alone.

The nausea that you had throughout those days was replaced with something more embarrassing and something that made you cry in frustration. The sudden heat and wetness that kept on pooling on your legs with the excessive amount of releasing pheromones into the air only meant one thing.. you’re presenting as an Omega and you’re having your first heat.

You laid down sweaty on your bed, the room stuffy and boiling hot for you despite the cold autumn air entering through your windows and the AC that you have turned on. A wave of pleasure had hit your body, your hands pushing down the garter of your soaking wet underwear, immediately slipping two fingers in your deprived pussy. You mewled at the sudden feeling, thrusting your fingers almost immediately to relieve yourself. Holding your legs up, you continued to pump your fingers in and out to reach the climax that seems so far away. You cried out in frustration, stopping your actions when you’ve realized that whatever you’re doing is not and won’t be enough unless its an Alpha.

You quickly grabbed your phone beside, messaging your bestfriend about your situation.

“I am hundred percent certain that I’m presenting as an Omega and I’m having my first heat. Do you mind telling Pope to— you know..? Visit me.. if he’s there at the party”

Pope was your safest bet for an Alpha to help you out. The guy was the kindest and definitely one of the smartest people you have ever met, so you trust that whatever he would do would help you and ease the pain. There was a sudden pain in your chest from your heat that pushed you to release more of your scent, you’re breathing so fast that you try to ease the pain by curling into a ball. Waiting for it stop, you heard your phone pinged and quickly took a look at your bestfriend’s message that says “Oh shit, I’m on it 🫡”

You waited for what seems to be hours, as your heat becomes more and more unmanageable. You tried to look decent at least, a red, thin silk nightgown that sits on your body perfect and a properly brushed hair before swiping some strawberry lipgloss. You felt bare and nervous with Pope seeing you in this state, but you cannot help at thinking that this might be a step on having a serious relationship with someone reliable and can help you out with your cycles.

The doorbell rang, making you gulp nervously before trotting downstairs to open the door slightly and what you saw just made your stomach drop along with your smile. “What the hell are you both doing here?” You asked with squinted eyes, holding the doorknob tightly.

JJ’s huge smile greeted you while Rafe just smirked in amusement. “Are you that disappointed to see us?” JJ asked, making you squint harder at him in annoyance. Rafe just chuckled before pouting to mock at your expression, leaning on the door frame which made you close the door a bit more. “Aww, she doesn’t wanna see us.” “Shut up. I asked you guys a question, what are you both doing here?” You continued, trying not to get overwhelmed with both of their scents as you will yourself not to give in.

“Well, we heard something from a little birdie that someone has presented as an Omega and well.. that someone, requires some top Alpha service.” JJ answered behind Rafe, a menacing smile on his face as he stares on your paling face. “Mhm,” Rafe nods in agreement before slightly pushing the door, gripping the edge tightly. “Do you know who that new Omega is?” The slight push exposed your thin nightgown, and based on Rafe’s darkening expression and JJ’s slightly wide eyes, you knew that you’re running out of time to push them away.

“I don’t know what you guys are talking about.” With an eye roll, you were about to slam the door, when both of them pushed it to stop you. You were still holding the door knob so you tried to push it close only to be met with resistance. “Seriously, you’re fucking choosing Pope? When you have us?” Rafe asks, his blue eyes staring at you so intently as he try to sneak a peek at your body behind the door. You heard JJ sigh, laying his palm flat on your door, hearing the clunk of his rings. “You know.. I feel a bit betrayed. You, choosing a good friend of mine, instead of me? Have you forgotten what you said to us THAT night?”

His emphasis made you shut your eyes, the image of their bare torsos flooding your memory and their breathless sighs made you clench your legs, unknowingly releasing some pheromones into the air that wafted straight into their nostrils. Both taking a deep breath, your scent smelling like amber, honey, and vanilla, making both of them salivate. You snapped out of your daze when you noticed them being quiet, realising your mistake when you noticed that their eyes are almost black,irises swallowing the pretty blue hues of their orbs.

You tried to push the door shut once again, both Rafe and JJ trying to push it open. “Open the door, honey. Come on.” Rafe said menacingly, staring you down. The vast difference of your size to them made you shiver in fear and anticipation on what they might do to you. You slapped yourself mentally before trying to push it shut again. JJ clicked his tongue before sighing “That’s it.” He mumbled under his breath before giving Rafe a short nod. Rafe just smirked before they both gave the door one solid push, making you tumble backwards.

Preventing yourself from falling backwards, you immediately balanced yourself, slowly stepping back while maintaining eye contact with the two. Your heart is pounding inside your chest so loud that you can hear it together with your heavy breaths. Rafe and JJ’s stature just scares you, their toned arms ready to capture you as they walk towards you like a predator catching its prey. When a click was heard with JJ shutting the door, you quickly grabbed whatever was near you, which happens to be a vase, and threw it towards the two.

With Rafe being the closest, he barely managed to dodge it, scraping the side of his arm. He just looked at you, snapping his neck as he chuckles. “Oh woohh..” he exhaled, a menacing smirk on his lips as JJ just laughed beside him. “You shouldn’t have done that.” He growled lowly, not taking his eyes of your quivering form. “Run, honey. Cause once we catch you—“ you did not even let JJ finished his sentence before you start running upstairs, hearing their laughter echoing throughout the empty house.

You were panicking, trying to wrack your brain on where to hide. Your house was a decent size, so even though there’s not much place to hide, you still knew what places they might not even spare a glance. You crawled inside a spacious cupboard that is concealed behind the door in your guest bathroom, talking to yourself inside your head to slow down your breathing.

“Honey~ come out, come out wherever you are~” JJ called out in a singsong way while Rafe just chuckled. You heard their steps getting closer before hearing them walk away to check whatever room they haven’t checked. Covering your mouth in fear, you closed your eyes to stop yourself from shivering. You just wanted this to end, this fucking heat. This situation. This was far from what you wanted already, from discovering you’re an omega to seeing the people that you hate so much outside of your house instead of Pope.

It was suspiciously quiet, yet you did not move. You were still trying to control your thoughts and your shivering body, your hair sticking into your skin with how warm you are feeling because of your heat and because of the cramped space. You felt another ripple of pleasure, making you close your eyes shut. “Not now, not now, not now” you plead to yourself, the heat being way more worse after the confrontation. You didn’t hear anything from outside. Trusting your gut feeling, you removed your hands from your mouth and finally opened your eyes.

Only to be met with Rafe and JJ’s big smile that made the blood drain from your face.

“Boo.”

A deafening scream escaped your throat as Rafe grabbed you out of your hiding space, your arm suffering from a bruising grip. You did not stop trying to hit him or JJ even when he carried you over his shoulder, trying to hit his back while also aiming to kick JJ. Rafe smacked your ass, the pain immediately traveling to your wet core. JJ smelled it in the air, watching you sob as Rafe plopped you down on your bed. They both stared at your disheveled state, your nightgown sticking to your skin, highlighting your pebbled nipples that are now evident thanks to the cold air from you open window.

Both men did not waste any time, taking off their clothes as you watch in shock. You cannot help your eyes trailing down, from their faces that showed no other emotion than want, to their taut arms and muscles. Your eyes widened when you saw how huge their cocks are just because of your heat, Rafe’s longer and a bit curved while JJ’s a good length yet clearly thicker than the other, making you gulp in fear and anticipation, your hormones taking over your mind as it turns into a mush.

They were both beside you in an instant, with Rafe landing a slap on your cheek that does not sting much yet brought your mind down back to your body again. “Why can’t you just follow, huh? This wouldn’t have happened if you just listened to us.” You continued to just stare at him, trying to cover your breasts using your arms before you felt JJ wrapping his hand around your neck. “He is asking a question, honey. Come on now.”

Your eyes started to water yet you felt your pussy clench on nothing, instead of answering, you have accidentally let out a soft mewl.

“Fuck, look at you.” JJ spoke, licking his lips as his hold on your neck slightly tightened. “Who would have known that you will love this?” Rafe grabbed the neck line of your night gown before ripping it, making you gasp. You felt vulnerable by the sudden action, trying to cover up your body which made them both annoyed.

“Who told you to cover yourself up, slut?” You felt Rafe smack your leg, before shoving it upwards to show them your weeping cunt. Your face heated up in shame with how wet you are, your own juices trailing down your legs. You didn’t get to answer back as JJ lets go of his hold on your neck before leaning down to kiss you. The kiss is sloppy and extra messy because of what your heat was doing to them. He tasted every corner of your mouth as you obediently open to let him, tongues dancing with each other, biting his bottom lip which made him groan into your mouth. The sound made your pussy clench on nothing, making Rafe laugh mockingly.

“Aww, look at this weeping cunt. I bet you had a hard time huh? It’s alright, I will make you feel good.” You didn’t have enough time to get down from the high of JJ’s kiss when you felt Rafe lick your folds slowly, coating his tongue in your essence. The action made you grip JJ’s hair while he press wet kisses on your neck, sucking and licking as he covers you with hickeys.

Your brain turned into a mush, the fight inside of you now long gone as you feel mind-numbing pleasure from the both of them. Rafe continued to plunge his tongue inside of you, his thumb rubbing your clit in circles, his mouth and chin covered in your slick as he continue to eat you out. Sliding a finger inside of you, you immediately moaned and clenched, making the kook king smirk mockingly. “And she wants to put up a fight? Hah.” JJ commented before latching on your nipples, teasing it between his teeth and feeling it harden on his tongue. You don’t know what’s happening anymore, other than the feel of their mouths on your body. Rafe slipped in another finger, and another when you mewled.

His three fingers pumped in an out of you, setting a punishing pace. You had long shut your eyes, brows scrunched in pleasure with your mouth agape. JJ tapped your cheek repeatedly, making you open your eyes. “Keep your eyes open and watch us fuck you.” You watched Rafe suck your clit, fingers squelching as it tries to go deeper everytime, and when he curved his fingers and felt that rough texture, your eyes rolled at the back of your head, snapping open that release that you’ve wanted for days.

Rafe felt your pussy flood with your cum, clenching hard on his fingers. Continuing still, JJ grinned when he watched your legs shake, making Rafe pull back. “Oh shit” he muttered, both of them seeing the liquid gushing out of your cunt. “God.. thats fucking hot.” Brushing his hair upwards, while Rafe wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, your chest heaving up and down.

You were tired but not yet satisfied as your mouth waters at the sight of their cocks, seemingly larger than earlier. You wanted to suck and taste it, feel it heavy on you tongue but it seems like they don’t want that today. Both men positioned your body for what they want to do, JJ sliding underneath you with Rafe positioning himself above you. Your eyes were slowly closing, before a slap echoed on the room. “Fucking wake up, you hear me?” With a clenched jaw, Rafe grabbed you by the jaw with force, making you nod your head. JJ cackled, pressing his bare chest on yours. “Where’s the fight that you had earlier? Gone already?” He continued to made fun of you, feeling him rub his tip to your puckered hole. “Knew it was this easy to get you like this. Why are you even playing hard to get?”

Being sandwiched between them two sent your brain into an overload. All you were thinking about was the relief and pleasure of having them and taking them both. The fight inside of you turned into craving the feeling of their lips on your skin, their pheromones clouding your mind as much as your cloud theirs. You felt your slick drip down, from your puffy pussy lips to your hole. You felt the soft tip of JJ’s cock poking your hole, lubricating it with your slick and with his pre-cum before pushing in slowly. The intrusion made your body tense up, craning your head back and resting it on his shoulder. JJ hissed with the tightness, holding in a breath as he push,push,push inside of you. Rafe noticed how you scrunched your eyebrows, making him rub circles on your clit to loosen you up.

The sudden action made you scratch JJ’s arm that was holding you in place, squirting as he is finally balls deep inside of you. JJ lets out a shaky breath while Rafe only chuckled, before pushing his huge cock inside of you without warning. You gasped, looking down to slightly to see his flushed body connecting with yours while feeling JJ behind you, hands now holding your legs open. Leaning closer, Rafe growled in your ear while JJ moaned on the other side. Both men tentatively gave you one hard thrust, making you clench on the both of them.

The action made both of them give you another hard thrust, hands digging on your waist and hips, trying to create a rhythm. Rafe’s thrust were continuous and forceful, immediately hitting your sweet spot which made you curl your toes while JJ’s were short yet deep, stuffing your entrance so full of his thick cock that all you can think about is how full you are and how mind-numbing the pleasure is.

JJ constantly sucks hickeys on the side of your neck while Rafe attacks your lips with a searing kiss, their hips never stopping as drools drips from the side of your lips. Both blondes cannot help but bask on the feeling of your wetness and the squelching sounds your holes are making while you moan so erotically for them to hear, your sweet scent making it more pleasurable for them. “I-I’m close.. oh god I’m so c-close..!” You tried to warn them, holding Rafe close as you drag your nails on his back making the taller male stutter out a low moan.

Your warning just made JJ’s urge to own you stronger, grabbing your hips in a bruising hold as he piston his hips, feeling his wet balls smacking your ass with every thrust, prompting Rafe to do the same. “Take it— fuck, take it you fucking whore..!” He whispered with Rafe wrapping his hand on your neck, squeezing slightly making you open your eyes. “Doesn’t this remind you of that night?” He asks, following JJ’s rhythm. Tears flowed down your cheeks as you get overwhelmed with pleasure, constantly moaning and releasing a series of ah,ah,ah as a bitch in heat. “You told us you are ours that night, stuffing you so full like this.” He smirked at you, watching how filthy you look like, taking both of their cocks and letting them have their way with you. JJ chuckled breathlessly when he hear what Rafe said “yeah— fuck— remember how she moaned that night while holding her legs open? Then acted like nothing happened, now look at you. Back to doing it again for us.”

You were too far gone. Their comments slipping down your brain as your body focused on the fullness and the harsh circles on your clit that you don’t even know who’s giving you with your eyes rolled at the back of your head. “C-coming..!” You didn’t even finished your warning as you cum, clenching on both of them tightly. Yoyur body convulsed, mouth slack and open which prompted Rafe to spit on it. Both men felt your hot slick wetting them both, chasing their own highs.

JJ looked at Rafe, licking his bottom lip before cocking an eyebrow. A silent challenge to the other alpha male before sinking his teeth on your shoulder blade. The sharp pain made you open your eyes full of unshed tears, breathing heavy as pain and pleasure mixed inside of you. JJ licked the wound, pressing with kisses before huskily moaning, releasing his cum deep inside of you, filling you up as he relishes on the high from the sex and from marking you as his. “Mine.” JJ whispered while looking at Rafe, clearly challenging the other with a smug smirk.

Rafe snarled, baring his teeth on the other blonde before thrusting deep inside of your abused cunt and biting the other side of your shoulder. His bite was rougher than the other, hot pain searing inside of you as you open your mouth in a silent scream before feeling him cum deep inside of you. Kissing the bitten area of your shoulders, they both stayed inside of you before pulling out at the same time. Your tired state was evident with how flushed your cheeks are and how your eyes were barely open.

Both of them stood up, JJ laying down your tired form properly on the bed while Rafe grabs a wet cloth to clean you up. While cleaning you properly, both men cannot help but watch you sleep while baring their marks, officially marking you as theirs. They want you for themselves but both of them won’t back down, settling on the terms that they share you, as long as its only the two of them that gets to taste and fuck you.

They held your body close, the haze of stuffing you full still buzzing on their system as they settle beside you. Looking at their bite marks, both of them grinned foolishly, finally claiming you as theirs.

“You fucking assholes!”

Both men immediately sits up in shock, still sleepy from the draining activities last night. When they both opened their eyes, they saw you standing in front of your mirror, staring at the bites that they left on each of your shoulder blades in horror.

You looked at both of them in disbelief, hiding the marks with your hands while you sob. JJ and Rafe just smiled at you, clearly proud of their work. “Get out— get out!” You screamed at their faces, ignoring the fact that your heat is still not finished yet. Feeling betrayed that they staked their claim. Now everyone will know who claimed you, their pheromones will always cling on your skin and your body reacting more actively when they’re closer because they had bonded you without your consent. You sobbed at the fact that instead of having someone mature to help you out on your heat cycles, you instead got two of the most possessive bastards in the world.

Rafe just leaned back while JJ rested his head on his hands. “Now, now” JJ started. “I think you need to calm down. We really need to teach our little omega how to speak to her Alphas properly, right, Rafe?” The other just chuckled, eyeing your naked body with lust. “Oh definitely. I cannot have a bratty little omega prancing around with such a dirty mouth. I guess, we both need to stuff her mouth with our cocks, put her into place huh?” You ignored them and screamed “oh fuck off! You fucking pieces of shit!” Your chest was heaving in anger.

Rafe grabbed the lamp besides him and threw it on the wall behind you while JJ lets out a warning growl.

You just stared at them in shock, covering your now cowering body as they stare at you intensely with clenched jaws. JJ stood up, walking towards you before dragging you forcefully towards the bed by your hair. Letting out a scream,he shoved you down the bed with your ass propped up for both of them to see, before landing a harsh spank on your ass. You cried out in pain, before feeling Rafe’s hand on your nape, pressing you down and choking you.

“You are ours. OURS.” He threatened through clenched teeth.

The sun went down. The day ended with you covered and full with their cum, using and abusing all your holes, covered in hickeys and bruises that will last for days. Clearly expecting you to learn your lesson, your mind blank as you take and take whatever they give you.

[sillydestiny]

Hello! I'm new here can I request dokja x reader? Like dokja first to fall in love and fall harder after thank you! You can ignore my message if you don't want to! I really like your work !💕

KIM DOKJA X READER

At first, Dokja couldn't quite put his finger on what it was about you that captivated him. Perhaps it was your unwavering determination, your quiet strength that seemed to emanate from every pore of your being. Or maybe it was your infectious laughter, the way your eyes crinkled at the corners when you found something genuinely amusing or the subtle kindness in your gestures. Whatever it was, he found himself stealing glances in your direction more often than he cared to admit.

As he observed you from afar, Dokja couldn't help but feel a strange sense of longing stir within him. He found himself seeking out opportunities to be near you, to catch glimpses of your radiant smile and hear the melodious sound of your voice. It was as if you had cast a spell on him, one that he had no desire to break free from.

As the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, Dokja found himself ensnared in the intricate web of emotions he had so desperately tried to evade. He watched you with bated breath as you carved your place in his heart, leaving an indelible mark upon his soul.

Dokja admired their unwavering resolve, their quiet resilience in the face of adversity. In their shared moments, he discovered a sense of belonging he had long thought lost—a connection forged not by fate's decree, but by the silent whispers of the heart.

And then, one fateful night beneath the glow of a thousand stars, Kim Dokja realized the truth that had been staring him in the face all along. He was in love with you, utterly and irrevocably. It was a realization that shook him to his core, shattering the walls he had erected around his heart and leaving him vulnerable in its wake.

With each passing day, Dokja found himself falling deeper into the abyss of love, his once-guarded heart now laid bare before the Reader's gaze. He found solace in their presence, a sanctuary from the storms that raged within him. In their laughter, he found joy; in their tears, he found sorrow. And in their eyes, he found a reflection of his own soul—a soul yearning to be understood, to be loved.

But love, like the scenarios themselves, is never without its trials.

Dokja was no stranger to loneliness, no stranger to the walls he had built around his heart. He had grown accustomed to solitude, to keeping his distance from others to avoid getting hurt. So, he buried his feelings deep within himself, hidden behind walls of sarcasm and aloofness. He feared rejection, feared that if he were to lay bare his heart, the reader would turn away from him, leaving him more alone than he had ever been.

Yet, despite his fears, Dokja found himself unable to resist the pull of his emotions. They consumed him, threatened to overwhelm him with their intensity.

he couldn't shake the feeling that you were different, that you had somehow managed to breach the walls he had so carefully constructed. And as much as he tried to deny it, he found himself longing for your presence, for the sound of your voice, for the warmth of your touch.

The turning point came during a particularly grueling scenario. You had been separated from the group, and Dokja found himself uncharacteristically frantic. The logical part of his mind told him you were capable and would survive, but his heart was not as easily convinced. When he finally found you, battered but alive, the relief that washed over him was overwhelming.

That night, as you tended to your wounds, he stayed by your side. It was the first time he allowed himself to be vulnerable around you, sharing bits of his past and fears. You listened without judgment, offering comfort not through words, but through your presence. In that quiet moment, he realized he had fallen for you harder all over again and irrevocably.

just how much you meant to him. He couldn't bear the thought of losing you, couldn't bear the thought of a world without you by his side.

Dokja found the courage to speak the words that had been weighing on his heart for so long.

I love you..

And as he looked into your eyes, saw the depth of his feelings reflected there, they smiled - a smile that lit up the darkness around them and filled Dokja's heart with a warmth he had never known

Dokja made a promise to himself: to protect you, to cherish you, to love you with every fiber of his being. For he had finally come to understand that love wasn't about grand gestures or sweeping declarations; it was about the quiet moments, the shared laughter, the simple joys of being together.

And as he took your hand in his, his heart overflowing with love and gratitude, he knew . For in the end, it was your love that had saved him, had given him a reason to believe in the beauty of tomorrow. And for that, he would be eternally grateful.

had found his true home, his true love, in the arms of you

[skyfallscotland]

This somehow takes place both within and outside of BRV at the same time. Because unexplained time travel. That's why. It's also completely unpolished because it's 2am and I don't know what I'm doing here.

intertwining souls (we were never strangers) - part one

In the seconds that have passed since he appeared from the tunnel, restraining my hands behind my back, a slight breeze has picked up, blowing my hair over my shoulder. Fuck. Silver-tipped brown strands float out towards him, as if reaching for his hand the way my heart aches to. I know immediately he’s made the connection. “There’s a very reasonable explanation for this.” I croak, my pulse fluttering with fear as he closes the distance between us, drawing one of his twin swords from his back. 

“Oh fuck,” I curse, groaning as I hold my forearm tight against my closed eyelids. The cold texture of Sgaeyl’s scales is soothing against my throbbing temple and I let out a low whimper, rolling onto my side to press my head into the soft grass. “Holy shit.”

“Lía…” I groan aloud, listening for the heavy beat of wings over the buzzing in my ears. I can’t hear any. Did I blow my eardrums out? Carefully, I reach up with my other hand, feeling for any moisture. Nothing. I falter a little upon the realisation that I can hear wings in the distance, but not…here…

“Lía?” I call out, forcing back the bile that rises in my throat. I’d…fallen. I’d fallen and she hadn’t caught me and…she hadn’t followed me down at all. Slowly, I blink my eyes open, the fading sunlight sending a sharp pain rippling through my head. As I sit up, I run a hand over my hair. My braid’s come loose and the silky strands are now fluttering in the slight breeze, meaning I’ve lost the poisoned wire I usually wind through it. There’s no blood though, at least, so it must just be a concussion. 

My brow furrows as I close my eyes, reaching. I reach…and reach, but…nothing. A panicked gasp escapes me. There’s nothing there. “Lía!” I call more urgently this time. The sky is empty. No. No, no, no, no. Even the time I’d been dosed with that awful serum I could still feel her there, lurking—as if hidden behind a frosted pane of glass. Now though…it was as if I’d never bonded her in the first place. 

Frantically, I look down at my arm, sighing in relief as I see the green dragon relic twisting up and around my bicep, the Daggertail hidden beneath my vambrace. Ok, so we’re still bonded, I just can’t sense her. I don’t think anything could have happened to her—if it had, I’d be dead already—so…what, then? 

The last thing I remember is being knocked off her spine from behind. I hadn’t seen it coming in the slightest. We’d been practicing my balance just over the flight field as she took to the sky, so I hadn’t been strapped in. Did she…not have time to catch me? That doesn’t make sense! Even if she hadn’t caught me in time, she’d still be here now—and so would the rest of my squad for that matter, Liam and Deigh were just ahead of me!

Gingerly, I pull myself to my feet, rotating my sore joints. Maybe I was…dreaming? Or I’m in a coma now, because there’s no way I actually fell from the back of my dragon and slammed into the ground without breaking anything. 

In the time I’ve been contemplating, the sun has gone down fully and the moon has begun to rise, the entire sky a blanket full of stars. I turn on my heel, determined to get back to my room and find someone—anyone—who can tell me what the fuck is going on, when there’s a slight crack and my head snaps up in the direction of the hidden tunnel linking the field with the academic wing. 

For a moment, panic thunders through me and I grip the dagger at my thigh in a closed fist, but then there’s a familiar cool brush against my skin and my spine relaxes. “Xade?” I call out, a slight frown on my face. “What the hell, it’s Wednesday!” I hiss, storming toward the tunnel. “You should be—”

I’m shoved backward, barely able to keep my balance as I trip over my own feet, shadows restraining me in the dark. “Fuck,” I curse. “That’s not funny.” I snap. “I have a concussion and Lía won’t answer me and I can’t channel so don’t—” He steps into the moonlight and my jaw drops. Malek deliver me. “Xaden?” My voice cracks.

He looks so cold, so closed off I barely even recognise him. It’s been a very, very long time since he looked at me like that, if he ever did. There’s movement at his side and Garrick steps through, followed by…Masen. “Oh gods.” If my hands were free, I’m certain one would be over my mouth right now. My eyes quickly run over their uniforms—cadet’s uniforms—and I realise I’m in big, big trouble. They each have two, small silver stars on the shoulder. Second-years. 

“No. No, no, no, no.” I mutter. 

“Yes.” He finally speaks, his eyes trailing over my form from head to toe. “And who might you be?” My partner—but not—paces toward me slowly, his lips tilting up viciously as he croons. “You’re wearing rider black and a wingleader’s jacket, but I’ve never seen you—” He pauses, his eyes widening slightly. 

In the seconds that have passed since he appeared from the tunnel, restraining my hands behind my back, a slight breeze has picked up, blowing my hair over my shoulder. Fuck. Silver-tipped brown strands float out towards him, as if reaching for his hand the way my heart aches to. I know immediately he’s made the connection. “There’s a very reasonable explanation for this.” I croak, my pulse fluttering with fear as he closes the distance between us, drawing one of his twin swords from his back. 

“Xaden, please!” I beg, panic muddling my senses. Something furious flickers in his eyes. “Baby, listen to me—” His shadows slip for a split-second as if in surprise and almost simultaneously, the ground shakes, rattling my teeth together. Half a sob escapes my mouth and I turn on my heel and run. I don’t know what makes me think she’s the better option, that she’ll recognise me when my partner, the love of my life doesn’t. 

“Sgaeyl!” I yell, boot-covered feet carrying me full-tilt toward her. “Sgaeyl!” His shadows tug at my ankles and I don’t know if it’s a happy accident or if he meant for it to happen, but it means I go flying into the grass just as her teeth snap shut where my head once was. “Are you fucking kidding me?!” I shriek. 

“LÍA!” I scream at the top of my lungs. “LÍA!”

“Quiet!” Xaden snaps, his shadows smothering any sound I attempt to get out. “Fucking Sorrengail.” He crouches in the grass, his hand on my throat. “That’s who you are, isn’t it? You’re one of Lilith Sorrengail’s.” I snarl at him, lifting a leg to kick him in the groin, but his shadows catch my shin before I can do any damage. 

Gold-flecked onyx eyes stare down at me without an ounce of recognition. “Who’s Lía? Is that your…” Slowly, he stops as if realising for the first time where he’s heard that name before. I stare up at him pleadingly. His hand trails over my arm, tracing the relic at my shoulder. “Lilith Sorrengail’s youngest aren’t old enough to have bonded dragons.” His hand slips down further to the vambrace on my wrist and he picks it up, turning it to face the moonlight. “What the…” He drops it like it burns him. 

Hot steam wafts over me and I hold still as a giant blue-scaled snout drops down to sniff at me. “That’s impossible.” Xaden snaps and I almost feel sorry for him as Sgaeyl shoves him backward onto his ass. Almost. 

“You…asshole!” I seethe, launching myself forward. I don’t feel even a little bit bad for the crack that sounds through the air as I punch him in the face. Serves him right. I pull my arm back again. “You’re in so much fucking trouble, you hear me! I’m going to—” 

A throat clears. “I’m going to have to ask you to stop doing that.” A familiar voice says, tinged with amusement, before adding, “whoever you are.” 

I huff. “Shut up Garrick. Buzz off and tell Imogen how you feel.” A choked sound escapes the man beneath me. “I’m not kidding.” I tell him when he doesn’t move. “Take Masen and give us some space. I want you out of hearing distance.” 

When I glance up, the older man is gaping. “Who the hell are you? Why would I listen to you?” A warm nudge at my back has me unbalanced for a moment, but I manage to hold my ground, straddling Xaden’s torso. 

“Remi Sorrengail.” I tell him, reaching out a hand behind me to press it to Sgaeyl’s maw. “And you’re going to listen to me because it’s in your best interest. Shoo.” He mouths the last word to himself disbelievingly, before his eyes flit over my shoulder at the Blue Daggertail behind me and my hand currently resting above her nose.

“Ok. You’re on your own, brother.” He says succinctly, before turning on his heel and heading for the rocky outcropping they came from. When I look back down, Xaden’s eyes are narrowed and his mouth is downturned and twitching slightly. He’s definitely arguing with Sgaeyl. Impatience not in the least bit tempered by the one hit I’d gotten in, I slip my hand from his shoulder to his jaw and tug, leaning down to claim his lips with mine. 

For a moment, he’s still, his body rigid beneath me and I feel something in my chest shrivel and die. Desperately, I pour every ounce of love and fear I have into it, begging, willing his soul to recognise mine. Slowly, tentatively, his lips part. My fingers reach up to tangle in his hair and by the time we part for air, I’m curled over him, my eyes just inches from his own. “Look at me.” I demand, my thumb stroking over his cheekbone before I drop my voice to a low whisper. “Read me.”

He jolts, his eyes widening. It’s…clumsy almost when he reaches out toward me and I realise with an aching heart it’s probably because he hasn’t had much, if any practice at this point. He’s only twenty-two. Holy shit. Patiently, I push a memory to the forefront of my mind—laying in each other’s arms, trading bites of chocolate cake on his favourite hillside in Aretia. 

“Holy shit.” He whispers and my lips curve upward. 

“Hi.” I murmur quietly, dropping a chaste, gut-wrenching kiss to his lips. “I’m Remi.” My throat tightens as I force back tears. “And one time you told me it was love at first sight. I’m starting to think that you lied.”

He stares. 

“I’m sorry.” I whisper, climbing to my feet. “I know this isn’t—that you don’t know me.” I choke out. “But I don’t know what happened and I can’t feel my dragon and I’m scared, Xade.” Slowly, he climbs to his feet and takes a step toward me, closing the gap again. 

A hand reaches out to brush my hair behind my ear and a wet chuckle escapes me. I guess some things really don’t change. “Where—when are you from?” He finally asks, his eyes glued to my face.

“Two years from now.” I whisper. “Give or take.” I glance at the two stars on his uniform. “My twin and I—” I pause, my mouth snapping shut.

“Your twin…Violet, right?” I nod, mutely. “Listen, Sorrengail,” he begins and it sounds so strange coming from him that I flinch.

“I don’t know how much I should share.” I blurt. “What if…if this is time travel, then should I be keeping everything to myself? Just in case…” Just in case it changes things. My eyes flit over his shoulder for a second to where Garrick and Masen stand and guilt flares in my chest. I should want to tell him everything, to tell him every detail so he can try and prevent people from getting hurt, but I…I’m selfish. I worry if I do tell him anything further, maybe it will change things and he won’t…love me. 

“Are there things you think you should share?” He asks archly and I chuckle, the sound almost hysterical even to my ears.

“You have no idea.” I croak.  

His lips tilt up, just slightly. “I think I have some idea.” He says softly. “It must have been a pretty crazy two years for me to end up with a Sorrengail.”

I lift a brow. “Because you could never be cordial with a Sorrengail?” I glare, arching a brow. It takes a moment before it clicks and his mouth forms a small ‘o’. “Yeah, that one was fun to find out after almost dying.” 

“You almost died?” He says immediately, his eyes running over me again from head to toe. I shrug, noncommittally. “What can you tell me?” He asks, exasperated and I grin, looking up at him adoringly. 

“I love that tick in your jaw, this one right here.” I carefully slide my thumb across it. “I used to be such a common cause of it.” 

I’m faced with a deadpan expression. “Somehow, I’m certain you still are.” 

I laugh aloud. “Maybe.”

Sgaeyl takes to the sky behind me and I whip around, my eyes following her form as she disappears in the direction of the Vale. “She’s going to get your Lía.” He informs me, his voice low. “To see in person if she knows anything—feels anything from you.” 

I shake my head immediately. “I don’t think so. I can’t feel her at all, like she’s not even there. Although…” I trail off contemplatively. “If anyone in the Vale can help, it might be Andarna.” 

Xaden’s eyes turn distant for a moment before he focuses back in on me. “Sgaeyl won’t tell me what that means.” 

I nod. “She shouldn’t.” I reply simply. She’ll know. I glance over his shoulder once more. “Heading out on a drop?” I ask, noting the bags by Garrick’s feet. 

My partner stiffens. “You…”

I smile up at him fondly. “I really wish I could tell you the story of how I found out right now.” 

“You could.” He suggests. 

“No.” I deny, leaning in to wrap my arms around him. He’s still for a second before slowly, carefully he brushes a hand over my hair, stroking softly. I tuck my face into his neck, breathing him in. 

“We’re…serious, then?” He asks and I can feel his free hand tracing over the Riorson family crest on my vambrace. 

“Very.” I laugh. “You’re going to marry me one day soon.” When I look up, I’m sure my eyes are bright. “Because I’m the best thing that ever happened to you, not because someone else thought it would be a good idea.” 

His lips part slightly. “You know…” 

My heart sinks a little. “I know.” I confirm. “Xade?” I lift a hand to his chest, resting it gently over his heart. “Promise me something—don’t go to Cordyn.” I beg. “If they want to renegotiate just tell them no, don’t go there.” I plead. 

“Why?” He asks carefully, in that way of his that means he’s hiding something.

“Just…promise me.” I beg. “Or promise me you won’t be alone with her, I just…Xaden.” I hold his gaze, pleading with my eyes. 

“Ok.” He relents. “I promise.” I sigh in relief, tension draining out of me as I bury my face in his neck. Maybe it’s selfish, to try and change this and only this, or maybe it won’t make a lick of difference—perhaps whenever this…anomaly is over, I’ll simply go back to my time and he’ll forget ever having met me until that day on the parapet. 

But if there’s even a chance I can change it—this one thing that affects no one and nothing but him—I’ll take it. “Thank you.” I murmur, pressing my lips to his throat. When I pull away slightly to meet his gaze again, I let my thumb trail reverently over his lips. 

“I love you.” I whisper. “I need you to know that.” I smile sadly at the broken, desperate look in his eyes. “I love you more than anything—anyone—I’ve ever loved or ever will love. There is no me, without you.”

Slowly, he lowers his lips to mine of his own volition and my soul sings.

Part Two

[bookshelf-dust]

the hurt is good

part i part ii part iii part iv part v part vi

billy hargrove x fem!reader

word count: 2,344

warnings: swearing, smoking, reader is lonely, descriptions of billy’s abuse, mentions of neil

a/n: hi! so i decided to challenge myself with this. i’m making this a multi-part story. i’ve never done anything like this before, but so far i’m enjoying it. i’m not entirely sure where we’re headed, but i’ve got a sort of outline in my head. i’ve also decided to try something else new, and i’ve picked out some songs that you can listen to before you read to get you in the mood—but only if you want of course. this is all a really new experience for me but i have put a lot of heart into this first part. i hope that you enjoy this, really i do. also the title is from a part of hop’s letter to el. <333

before you read, listen to: wheel in the sky by journey and/or (don’t fear) the reaper by blue oyster cult

————

Sitting cross-legged on your bed, you turn the page of the book in front of you, the sound of the paper flipping an audible one.

You lift the hardback, tuck your nose into the center of the pages and give it a sniff. It might be odd to do so, yes, but to you, books are the best smelling thing in the world.

You put it back down, go back to reading.

A knock breaks you out of your fantasy literature-induced stupor.

“Honey? Okay for me to come in?” Your mother’s voice, soft and sweet.

“Sure.” Your voice is quiet when you speak, though just loud enough for her to hear.

Your bedroom door opens enough for your mother to stand just inside, her back against the frame, one hand gently resting on the knob.

You reach for your bookmark, drape it over one side of the pages and then close it.

“Hey, kiddo.” Her smile is easy. You try your best to give her one of your own, but you know it falls short.

“Wendy and I are going out to dinner tonight and then to an art show.”

Wendy was your mother’s longtime best friend, and quite the riot.

“Apparently her new girlfriend is something of an artist.” She gives a suggestive wiggle of her eyebrows. “Do you think you’d like to tag along?”

You uncross your legs and stretch them out: contemplating. Then you do the same to your back, which makes an obscene crackling noise—enough to make the both of you grimace.

You know how you’ll feel if you go out with your mother and her friend.

You’ll be okay for the first little while, but then there will be too many people. You’ll get nervous. You will probably say something wrong and feel the need to shut down. You will shut down. Your hands will get shaky and you’ll get upset, and by the end of the night you’ll wish you hadn’t gone at all.

You know how you’ll feel if you stay home, too.

You’ll be fine, totally fine, having avoided everything you’d face in the other situation. But you’d be guilty. Guilty because you’re young and you won’t be going out to do whatever or making friends. You’ll feel like you’re failing your mom, who just wants you to experience things.

You decide that leaving your house shouldn’t require this much stress.

“No, I don’t think so,” you finally say. “But thank you for offering.”

You watch your mother as she moves further inside your room, settling on the edge of your bed.

“Are you sure?” She sets her hands on your knees, tapping her fingers, many a ring glinting in the overhead light of your room.

“We could get frozen yogurt. You know, I really think you’ve turned Wendy into a monster after we went last time. It’s all she talks about now.”

That gets a small smile out of you, but brings an ache to your chest.

“I’m sure. Don’t get too crazy, tonight, though. And be sure to let me know about her new partner.”

“Alright. Hug or no? What’s the affectionate meter at right now?”

“A hug is fine,” you say through a quiet laugh.

She wraps her arms carefully around your shoulders, allowing you to squeeze first, that way she can gauge what you need.

“I’ll leave some money out so you can order pizza, okay?” You nod. “Also there’s a pint of the ice cream you like in the freezer.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“Anything for you, my little honeybee.” With a final pat of your knee and a wink sent in the direction of your book, your mother sweeps out of the room, and a little while later she is out the door.

Alone in the house, you let out an exhale, before heading to the kitchen.

Opening the designated take-out-menu-drawer, you scrounge for the one belonging to a local pizza place. You go ahead and order now, knowing that it might take awhile since the place is in downtown Hawkins.

You realize, setting the phone down, that you don’t know what to do with yourself once you’ve got the chance to do whatever you please.

You retrieve your book to read on the couch until your dinner arrives, not only for a change of scenery, but because you’ll need to be out in the living room to watch an episode of your favorite show in a while anyhow.

You’ve only sat momentarily when you hear it. Hear him. When you hear his music, specifically.

Billy Hargrove lives a few doors down from you, just close enough that you can always hear when he comes home, music blaring—not that differently from the volume you play it at when alone in your car—and doors slamming.

You don’t know him personally, only from school. Only as this pretty boy who’s been in Hawkins a few months.

You know enough that you hate the way people at school look at him. Like he’s an object. Like he’s this foreign being just because he came all the way from sunny California. The way they talk about him. About his ass, or his car, or his little redhead sister.

You know he’s pretty. You’d never deny that. But he’s just like the rest of you, and it bothers you that people treat him—at least from what you’ve seen—like this all-powerful dude.

But you also know enough that you think maybe he doesn’t have the best home life, just from what you’ve seen when you’re not out—which is always.

Sometimes you see him walking up and down the street at various times during the day. Or you hear his car speed off.

Sometimes, though really only sometimes, you see him trailing his sister while she skateboards, either talking or sitting while she goes.

To you, he seems like a loner.

And maybe it’s because you’re one too that you see him that way. That you can see him that way.

————

Outside, Billy cups his hand around his cigarette. It’s seemingly out of habit, since it’s not windy out. His thumb slides along the spark wheel of his lighter once, twice before the flame catches. The tip glows red in the night.

He walks a little further, as he inhales deeply, closing his eyes and soaking it in. He kicks a rock, hard, trying to see if it’ll hit the post of the mailbox a few feet ahead of him.

He watches a pizza delivery car ride by and pull into a driveway. He hasn’t made it very far on his walk. The walk he wouldn’t be taking because it’s pretty damn cold outside.

But Neil Hargrove wasn’t aware that Max Mayfield had joined the Hawkins AV Club, and when there was no Max at home, he took it out on Billy, telling him he was an irresponsible waste of space.

It took Susan getting home with her daughter and explaining the situation for Neil to calm down.

But Billy’s back was aching from where he’d been slammed up against a doorframe, and frankly he wanted nothing more than to get out of the house.

So here he was.

A porch light flicked on as if whoever was inside had been waiting on that pizza. You had been—sitting on the couch and listening for car sounds.

When the delivery guy rings the doorbell you appear, and Billy realizes he knows you. That he goes to school with you. You’re very quiet. He also thinks your very pretty, and he’s never noticed that before.

You look very comfortable; all of your clothes seem to be too big. With the way the yellow outside light hits you, it gives your face a multitude of shadows. Billy thinks about some of the greek statues he learned about in a history class back when he lived in California. About how artists tended to sculpt women with real bodies.

Shit, he thinks. He’s probably staring at you. But you really are very pretty.

On the stoop, you take the pizza and set it on the table just inside the door and then hand the guy his money.

You decide not to be a dick and make sure that he gets out okay. When he backs out, you catch a flash of red out of the corner of your eye.

You wouldn’t be able to see him if it weren’t for the street lights. Billy is looking at you. You smile at him, and to your surprise, he smiles back.

“You okay?” You ask, hoping that your voice carries to him, because you don’t feel like shouting.

You watch him shrug and take another drag of his cigarette. The fingers on his free hand fidget with the ring he’s wearing, and you pretend not to notice.

“You?” He questions in return. Something about the sound of his voice makes you feel warm inside.

You shrug back, and he lets out a breath of a laugh, before you turn around to go inside and he continues with his walk.

You kick the door shut and lock it behind you, thinking about Billy.

That is the most extensive conversation you’ve ever had with him, aside from one a few days after he started at Hawkins High, when he didn’t know where the auditorium was, so you walked him the whole way there. You were pretty sure he’d been embarrassed to have to ask for help, but you hadn’t been bothered at all.

In fact, that exchange outside was the most conversation you’d had with anyone outside of your mother in a while.

Most days you didn’t say a word at school, keeping to yourself, trying to get homework done any chance you could so that it didn’t actually become homework. Sometimes you had to speak with a teacher though, and of course you said thank you when someone held a door—but that was it.

Quite frankly you didn’t know what to think. Part of you hoped you’d see him again. That you’d make a friend.

You hadn’t had a friend in a very long time.

————

When your mother returns home, it is with many beans to spill.

Wendy’s new partner, who you found out was named Stephanie, was, in your mother’s words, “Hot enough to go gay for.”

Your mother had also undoubtedly had some to drink while out and about.

“Also that boy from down the street? Don’t you go to school with him?”

You start fussing with a string on your sleeve. “Yeah, why?”

“Well he was brooding on his porch when Wendy retrieved me, and he’s still wandering around outside. It’s been,” she checked her watch, “three hours.”

You scratch at your nose, thinking.

“I saw him when the pizza got here.”

Your mother hums. “Well, I’m going to go shower the art gallery off of me and then probably stay up too late reading.”

“Okay.”

She smiles sweetly at you, collecting the pile of rings and other jewelry that she’d taken off and set on the counter while talking to you, and then you’re alone again.

You flatten your body over the countertop, bending at the waist and stretching so that your fingers can grip the other side.

You think about Billy out there. He was obviously going through something. And maybe it isn’t any of your business, but you hate the idea of him being alone, wallowing in self-pity. Not that you have any room to talk.

You straighten, walking carefully so as to not allow your socked feet to slip along the floor, and find yourself reaching for your coat.

Shoving your feet into a pair of shoes, you flip on the porch light once again, and make your way outside.

Across the street, Billy is resting against a low wall that has a mailbox set into it.

Looking both ways out of habit, you make your way towards him, stopping a few feet away. He looks up at you, both hands on the brick underneath him. There is a half-finished cigarette in one of his hands. You find yourself wondering how much he’d smoked since he’d been out here.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” He quirks a brow at you.

“You’ve been out here a long time, you know that?”

Billy glances at his watch. “Seems so.”

“Not cold?”

“‘M fucking freezing my ass off out here.”

You try and choose your words carefully, not wanting to push too hard. “Seems like you could solve that problem if you went inside.”

“Are you worried about me or something, Y/N?”

Trying not to think about the way your name sounded leaving his mouth, you admit to your crimes.

“Yeah, actually. You were out here earlier, and my mom said she saw you when she left and when she got home. I didn’t like the idea of you being alone.”

Something in Billy’s face softens. “Yeah?”

You exhale, your breath leaving a plume of air in front of you.

“Yeah.”

“Well then I guess I better get my ass inside, huh?”

You stuff your hands into your pockets and realize what you’ve got in there.

“Here.” You pull out a little hand warmer packet an hold it out to him.

Billy laughs. It’s a beautiful sound, you think. Charming and hearty. “Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

————

At school Monday, you make your way to the lunch table you’ve claimed, grass squishing under your feet.

You flip open your book, shove one leg under you.

It’s only been a little while of munching on grapes and forcing yourself to concentrate before you feel a weight drop onto the bench across from you, shifting the old table a little.

You look up. Billy Hargrove looks back.

He throws his bag on the worn wood, slaps a book of his own on top of that.

You’re confused at his appearance, and he seems to sense that.

“I didn’t like the idea of you being alone.”

You feel yourself heat up, and sit on one of your hands because you also feel like you could cry.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

[nolita-fairytale]

comfort & chaos | carmy berzatto x fem!reader | chapter six: home

summary: takes place after 'make my heart surrender' ends (so if you haven't read the series, you can do so here). after surprising carmy at the restaurant, he has something really important to tell you. (the five times carmen berzatto fell in love with you a little and the one time he finally told you)

warnings: time jump, fluff, 'i love you', smut (18+ mdni), no use of y/n, she/her pronouns, drinking & smoking, suggestive language, not proofread -- will probably go back and make some edits

word count: 3.9k

listen to: no such thing - john mayer | you're the best - wet | pancakes for dinner - lizzy mcalpine | want want - maggie rogers

a/n: hi it's me! i'm tired of breaking my own heart are you tired of me breaking your hearts?!! if you're wondering what the heck happened between chapter 5 & 6, make sure to read 'make my heart surrender' or at least, this final chapter!

didn't think you were getting smut with this final chapter?! gotcha!! i had to take some DEEP breaths while writing this. thank you so much for all of the kind comments, external screaming, and dms about this series. i love you all sm. here's is thee much needed and well-deserved fluffy chapter where carmy finally says (redacted).

read: chapter five | masterlist

“God I fuckin’ love you.” 

Your words echo in Carmy’s head all shift, and he doesn’t know why he hasn’t said it back yet. 

The restaurant has been slow for lunch, and in every single moment he’s had to think about it, the words felt like they were on the tip of his tongue:

I love you. 

I love you too. 

I love you and I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. 

But what was he supposed to do? Tell you in the middle of your mise en place? Follow you into the walk-in and tell you there? He almost regrets not just saying it back right then and there – the minute he realized that you and Richie were both pulling a prank on him. Carmy decides that telling you here, at the restaurant just won’t do – just wouldn’t be romantic enough – and he knows you deserve more than that. 

As you finish up your prep for dinner service, you eye Carmy carefully. He looks totally wrapped up in thought, and you can’t imagine what he must be thinking this hard about. You’re here. You can’t believe you’re here. And you could care less about anything else right now.

“How ya doin?” you ask him, pulling him from his thoughts. 

He doesn’t know if you can see it on his face – that he’s thinking way too hard about this. 

“Uh, I’m-. Just thinkin’ about strategy… for dinner service,” he lies, trying his best to throw you off his trail. 

“Okay,” you reply, unconvinced. 

But it’s clear that he’s not going to give you much more than that.  

“You should go home,” he blurts out. His response takes you by surprise, and as soon as he realizes it sounds like he doesn’t want you here, his face softens, quick to course correct. 

“I just mean-, you must be tired. From the drive. As much as I appreciate the help…” he trails off. “It’s been slow today anyways. You should take my key and head home. If you want. Get some rest.”

Home. 

You smile in response at the sound of it, knowing that, after today, Chicago is your home. 

“You sure?” you ask him. 

“Yeah,” he insists. “If it stays this slow, I may even be able to get home early.”

You’re sure you have the silliest grin on your face as you hear the word again. 

Because this is your home now. 

Because Carmy is your home now too. 

“Well, if you insist,” you say with a shrug. 

“I do,” he says back, a seriousness in his voice. 

“Okay,” you giggle in response, agreeing to his demand. 

Carmy’s always trying to take care of you. It’s one of the things you love the most about him. Whether he’s asking you if he can make you something or asking to walk you home, you’ve always known that this is how he shows his love. 

You and Carmy both wash your hands, and he follows you towards the locker area, watching you hang up your apron in the locker that will now be yours. He busies himself with finding his apartment keys while you gather your things. 

“I kinda missed this place,” you say, even though you’ve only been gone three weeks. 

“Yeah?” he asks, a light in his eyes as he watches you. 

It feels surreal: seeing you here, knowing that you’ll be at his place when he gets back, that he gets to keep you. 

“Yeah. And maybe even some of the people too,” you smirk, cheekily. 

Carmy blushes, taking a few steps towards you with his keys in hand. 

“Need the address?” he asks. 

“I remember how to get back there,” you reassure him, playfully. 

It hadn’t been that long since you walked home with Carmy the night that changed it all: the night he’d made you his carbonara, the night that feelings were revealed, the night you made love. You’d followed him back to his apartment two nights in a row after that, letting yourself surrender to this thing between you that you’d both spent over two years fighting. And you’d let him take you to bed each night, getting lost in the way he smelled, the way he tasted, the way his skin felt against yours. 

You’re still in shock over how much has changed in your life in the last month alone.

It felt like heaven. 

It feels like heaven. 

And you wonder what took you both so fucking long.

At the same time, you know it happened exactly when it was supposed to happen – that anything before this wouldn’t have worked. 

As Carmy hands you his keys, you give him a goodbye kiss, the tension between the two of you palpable. It’s the kind of ‘I can’t wait to get you alone’ tension and you can’t wait till he gets off his shift – your thoughts filled with all the things you want to do with him when you finally do. 

It takes a while to leave the restaurant – everyone wanting to get in their hello or goodbye in – before you’re on your way home to Carmy’s apartment. On the drive there, you laugh to yourself about how the staff of The Bear have been betting on how long it’d take for you to come back. It fills you with a sense of warmth, confirming that this was exactly the move you needed to make. Since it’s close by, and you still have your stupid fucking U-HAUL, it doesn’t take long to get back to Carmy’s apartment. You make a mental note to find a good storage container to rent out so you don’t have to lug this thing around while you look for a place. 

By the time you get into his apartment, suitcase in hand, it’s clear to you that Carmy wasn’t expecting you. His home is messier than you remember it being when you left three weeks ago, but it’s not so intolerable that it’s maddening. 

You put something on the TV in the background, while you unwind, taking a shower then tidying up a little bit around the apartment. You let yourself enjoy the simplest of pleasures: your favorite pair of sweatpants that you can’t believe he’s kept, and a comfy bralette you’ve packed at the top of your suitcase. 

But it all starts to hit you as you start slowing down: after spending the night in Cleveland, you’d driven all morning to Chicago, jumped in on the line for dinner prep. You’ve barely had a moment to slow down and holy shit, are you exhausted. It doesn’t take more than a few episodes of Pasta Grannies for you to pass out on the couch. Carmy’s YouTube playback is set to autoplay, and as your eyelids become progressively heavier, you promise yourself you’re just going to close your eyes for a few moments… 

“Hi sweetheart,” you hear a voice say, causing you to slowly blink your eyes open. 

“Carm?” you mumble, only half awake. “Is it you? You’re really here?”

“Yeah, it’s me. Did I wake you?” he whispers, letting out a small laugh. 

You giggle as Carmy comes into your line of sight. He’s perched on the edge of the couch as you reach for one of his hands so that you can touch him. 

“Yeah, but I’m glad you did. What time is it?” you ask, becoming more and more awake by the minute. 

“Ten-thirty. Business picked up a ton for dinner.”

“Damn.”

“So much for getting off early.” 

You hum in response, sitting up momentarily to grab his hands, pulling him towards. Carmy smiles, laying his body over yours, before leaning in for the softest, gentlest kiss. 

“Hi,” you whisper.

“Hi,” he smiles back at you, the words just on the tip of his tongue. 

I love you too.

You pull him back in for another kiss, this time deepening it. You laugh again, as Carmy breaks the kiss, an inquisitive look plastered to his face. 

“What?” he questions. 

“Nothing. You smell like hot giardiniera,” you giggle as your lips twist into a smile against his. 

He laughs, “Yeah?’

“Uh huh,” you say. 

“I’ll shower,” he suggests, playfully. 

“No, no it’s okay. I’m kinda into it,” you reply, earning another chuckle from him. 

“It’s okay,” Carmy replies, shaking his head. He places a peck on your lips before sitting up properly, earning a groan from you as he pulls away. “I’m gonna hop in the shower. Maybe we can move this to uh… my bedroom?”

“Are you putting the moves on me, Berzatto?” you tease him, shooting him a playful look.

“No! I just meant-, since I know you must be tired-,” he stammers, a blush running across your cheeks. 

You shake your head, sitting up to reassure him with another kiss. 

“I’m kidding,” you say with a chuckle. “And I’m also starving. 

“Yeah?” he sounds. 

“How about this? Why don’t you jump in the shower and I’ll order us a pizza. I’m sure we can find something to do while we wait for it to get here,” you say suggestively. 

Oh. 

“Sounds great,” he agrees with a quick raise of his eyebrows. 

You watch as Carmy disappears into the bathroom, the sound of running water filling your ears, you scroll around a little for a good pizza spot nearby. You settle on something New York style out of habit, ordering a few things for delivery. 

By the time Carmy gets out of the shower, you’ve curled up with yourself in his bed, scrolling around on your favorite social media app. You let out a whistle as soon as Carmy enters the room with only a towel tied around his waist. You can tell he’s tried his best to dry his hair, running the towel through his perfect curls a few times. You’ve got all this pent up sexual energy, and seeing Carmy like this, all hot, nearly-naked, and wet is really doing it for you. 

Hell, he could be in a full hazmat suit and the man would do it for you. 

You watch as he rummages through his dresser, searching for a t-shirt and a pair of briefs, but there’s no fucking way you’re letting him get dressed. You toss your phone to the side, standing up from where you are on the bed.

As you approach, you snake your arms around his waist, stopping him in his tracks. He cannot believe this is real: that you’re here, in his bed, in the sweatpants that he knows you love. That you’re here to stay. That you’re here and you’re his. 

“Hey,” he says, his lips twisting into a smile as you begin to leave soft kisses across the back of his shoulders. 

“Hey, yourself,” you reply, nipping at the skin you’ve just kissed. 

Carmy hisses at the feel of your teeth, letting out a laugh that seems to rumble in his throat. 

“Can I help you with something?” he teases you. 

He feels your lips curl into a smile against his skin, smirking in response. 

I fucking love you too. 

But before he can say anything, your hands are pushing his towel down past his hips, desperately envious of the way the material clings to him. 

“Mhm,” you hum. “I think you know.”

He lets the towel fall to the floor, and Carmy groans as you wrap your hand around his hard on, hissing as he feels you pump him a few times. 

“Seems like you’ve been thinkin the same thing,” you say again, feeling how hard he already is. 

He bites into his lower lip, his eyes rolling towards the back of his head as he enjoys the way you touch him. 

“Been thinkin’ about this all day, sweetheart.”

“Well…” you trail off. “I’d love to hear more about what’s been on your mind.”

“Yeah?” he croaks out, the pleasure you’re bringing him causing him to short circuit. 

“Yes,” you sigh out, wound up with desire. 

Finally, Carmy turns around, grabbing the back of your head and pulling you in for a passionate, lust-filled kiss. His lips are on yours like he’s been starving, as if nothing would satiate him the way tasting you will. You open your mouth, deepening the kiss, as you feel his tongue slide against yours. Carmy begins backing you up towards the bed, guiding you down to his mattress. 

“Had this on my mind since you left Chicago,” he mumbles, his pupils wide, fully blown out in lust. 

“Me too,” you manage to get out. 

He leans in once more, pressing his lips to yours once more. You drag your teeth against his bottom lip, before he breaks the kiss, his mouth and hands searching for real estate lower. Carmy leaves hot, open mouthed kisses along your breasts, your torso, and you’re practically pulling off your bralette like it’s burning your skin. 

“Been thinkin’ about this. You…” he admits, his voice hoarse. 

You gasp in pleasure as Carmy drags the sweatpants, along with your panties, down over your hips, tossing them who knows where behind him. 

“... tasting you.” 

You moan as he positions himself between your legs, kneeling on the floor, his chest pressed to the bed. Your legs quake with anticipation as you feel his hot breath fan over your core. Every moment he spends making you wait is killing you. 

“Carmy, please,” you beg, as he begins leaving soft kisses along your inner thighs. You can tell he’s making himself wait too, building the anticipation so that when he lets himself have you… 

“Carmen!” you moan. 

He practically groans against you as he uses the tip of his tongue to trace your clit.

“Fuck, I missed this,” he muses, before burying himself between your thighs again. 

His mouth is on you, tracing little shapes with his tongue, licking up and down your progressively wet core, while his hands keep your legs spread wide. 

All for him. 

He continues to eat you out, completely enraptured with the way you taste, the way your moans and gasps sound, the way you say his name, calling out for him and only him. As he slips a finger inside of you, you bury your hands in his hair, your hips thrusting up into his hand and against his mouth. 

“Holy fuck, Carmy,” you gasp, your mind completely taken over with the pleasure he’s giving you. 

He can tell that you’re close, adding another finger, taking note that you seem to like it even more. It’s as if he’s memorized every single thing you loved, everything that seemed to make you tick, and applied it to this time. 

“Carmy, I’m gonna-,” you cry out, your legs shaking as he brings you over the edge. 

You’re gasping, writhing against the bed, your legs still pushed wide by tatted hands as you begin to come down. You look down, tugging Carmy’s hair to bring him back up to you. When he finally looks back up at you, he’s grinning, completely satisfied with the pleasure he’s brought you. He makes his way back up, laying his very naked body over top of yours, leaning in for another kiss. 

You can taste yourself on his lips, and he doesn’t know if it’s possible to get harder than he is. 

“That’s what you were thinking about?” you whispered against his lips, spreading your legs to make room for him. You can feel his hard, aching cock against your wet center, and if you think you’ll die if he’s not inside of you as soon as possible. 

“All day.” 

He kisses you, nipping at your top lip momentarily, before continuing with:

“Haven’t stopped thinkin’ about it, actually.” 

That and something else. 

Three words he can’t seem to get out. 

Even though they’re begging to be said. 

You reach down, wrapping a hand around him, sliding his thick tip against you so that he can feel how wet and needy you are for him. 

“I can think of a few other things I want,” you beg him, feeling him shudder against you as you drag the tip of his cock over you again and again. 

“And what’s that?” Carmy asks you cheekily. 

Instead of answering, you guide him into you, earning a gasp from the both of you as he splits you open. Carmy takes his time pushing into you, making sure to pause when he’s fully seated inside of you. 

Your eyes are locked with his, allowing yourself to get totally lost inside of the pools of blue. You’re sighing out in pleasure, squeezing around him, your lips so fucking close to touching it’s near-painful. Carmy begins to slide out of you at a dangerously slow pace, thrusting into you, deeper each time. You’re pulling him down to you, and it’s as if you can’t get enough – enough of his mouth on yours, enough of him to hold onto – even though you have all of him. 

You’d let him consume all of you if he wanted to, you think to yourself, as he swallows your moans in his mouth.

It’s tangled legs, and tangled tongues, and whispered pleas. 

“God, you feel so good,” he grunts, burying his head in your neck as he speeds up. You can tell the both of you are close – that all the pent up sexual energy means that neither of you will last long. 

But you don’t care. 

You’ve got all the time in the world now. 

“Carmy,” you whine, desperate for him to let you cum.

You know you have his attention, as he raises his head, locking eyes with you again. 

“I want you to fuck me from behind,” you whisper, desperately. 

“Fuck. That’s so hot,” he groans, his eyes wide.

Unwillingly, he peels his body off of yours, letting you sit up straight. He thinks he may have died and gone to heaven as he watches you turn around, kneeling on all fours over his bed. His hands immediately go to your ass, dragging calloused palms over the curve of it as he kneels behind you. 

“Fuck, that’s so hot,” he gasps, guiding himself back into you. 

He thinks the sight alone may send him to an early grave as you bow your back, your ass still high as you press your chest against the bed. 

“Your ass is fucking incredible,” Carmy says, pulling out slowly, before thrusting back into you with a force that makes you cry out. 

“Carmen,” you whimper, your legs shaking beneath you. 

This feels too good. 

“Hmm?” he asks, his hands smoothing over your low back, following the way your back seems to arch in pleasure. 

“Fuck me. Please.” 

He knows he won’t last much longer. His hands hold onto your hips, the pads of his fingers pressing into your skin as he begins to speed up. It feels unreal, incredible, being this deep inside of you. And he gets to watch: watch the way you arch your back, watch your body respond to every single thrust, watch you grasp at the sheets and pillows, searching for something to hold onto. 

“I don’t think I’m gonna last long, baby,” he stutters out, his thrusts becoming more erratic as you beg him to keep going. 

“Please, Carmen. That feels so goddamn good,” you plead with him, face down into his sheets. 

“Shit. Fuck,” he howls, his voice booming against all corners of the room. 

Carmy places the gentlest hand against your low back, as if it to ask you to lay down, laying his body over yours from behind. He pauses, because it just feels too damn good, and he wants to revel in this moment before this ends. Ever so slowly, he begins to drag his cock in and out of you at the most torturously slow pace. His mouth leaves small kisses against your shoulders, nipping at your soft skin as he continues to make love to you. 

“Faster, Carmy. Please. I’m gonna cum,” you pant. 

You’re not sure just how much more patient you can get here. You feel him begin to speed up, and you’re moaning into his mattress against, begging for him to make you cum. He can feel you squeezing around him, and the sight of himself fucking into you really isn’t helping either. 

“Fuck,” he manages to get out, his hips beginning to stutter against your ass. 

“Yes. Whatever you want. I’ll give you whatever you want,” he repeats, earning the most blissful ‘Carmy’ from your lips he’s ever heard. 

“Baby, I’m so close,” you whine. 

“Yes, me too. Yes. Fuck, I love you,” he calls out, shutting his eyes as he cums. 

He can feel you shuddering around him, as he fucks you through your orgasm too, completely unaware of the words that have flown out of his mouth. 

You’re both panting, breathless from what you’ve just done, as you begin to come down. 

“Holy shit,” he finally says, leaning his forehead against the back of your shoulder. 

“You can say that again,” you chuckle, trying to catch your breath. 

“Can we do this tomorrow? And the day after that?” you ask, playfully, turning your head to kiss him. “And the day after that?”

Carmy smiles, “Absolutely.”

It doesn’t take long for the two of you to get cleaned up and back into comfy clothes. Carmy knows there’s no point in fighting you for your favorite pair of his sweatpants as he picks out another pair, remaining shirtless for your viewing pleasure. The pizza arrives shortly after, and you find yourself in bed, with the man you’ve loved for so long, getting a much-needed refuel break. 

“You know I hate eating in bed,” Carmy points out, watching you get crumbs all over his sheets. 

“Yeah, well I’m getting my own place so… that’s a future problem for you and me,” you answer, without a single care in the world. 

“For when we move in together?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. 

It’s almost as if he’s testing the waters – seeing if that’s something that’s still on your mind. 

“Right,” you confirm, confidently. 

But you’re in. 

You’re all in. 

It seems like you’ve passed whatever test he’s given you as the corners of his lips curl into the softest smile. 

“You know… you live in Chicago now,” he teases, in reference to your choice of pizza. 

You scoff in response, throwing in a playful eye roll for dramatic effect. 

“Oh fuck you.” 

He laughs. 

You eat quietly, enjoying your first night in Chicago as a resident. You watch as Carmy’s face changes, as if he’s trying to find the right words to say what’s on his mind. Instead of asking, you wait, knowing that he’ll bring it up when he finds them. 

“Hey uh…” he starts, hesitantly. “I just want you to know… that I… I meant what I said earlier.”

The more serious tone he uses piques your curiosity as you stare back at him blankly, unsure of what he's referring to.

“What do you mean?” you ask back.

Carmy takes another beat, pausing as he musters up the courage to clarify with:

“That I love you. I didn’t want you to think I just said it because… well you know.”

Because you were naked.

Because he got caught up in the moment.

Because he was inside of you.

He licks his lips, before opening his mouth to say it again: 

“I love you.”

As soon as the words leave his lips, his eyes are on you, watching your face for any kind of reaction.

But you’re beaming as you hear them and it all begins to make sense. It was something you’d said earlier, but the fact that he hadn’t said it back hadn’t been on your mind. Is this what he’d been thinking about all day? You just figured he'd say it back when he was ready.

You shake your head, a grin plastered to your face as you reply,

“I know, silly. I love you too.”

Fin. 

taglist: @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney @harrysmatcha @starbritestarlite @tpwkkmila @cool-girl-is-hot @nunya7394 @galaxyprincess51-blog @carmensberzattos @blue-weekends @rexorangecouny @ridingthehotmessexpress @the-nursery@strawberryalicia @astronautelilanded @veryplatoniccircunstances @fonteyn @hlkwrites

[outlaw-apologist]

How The Gang Comforts You After a Nightmare - (RDR2 HCs)

The gang comforting their S/O after they have a gruesome nightmare Characters: Arthur, Charles, Javier, Dutch, Hosea For @gonefiishiing  💕  Note: I’m SO sorry it took me forever to write this. I wrote half of this while I was sick so I hope it makes sense. If not I’ll happily re-write it 💕 AO3 Link Arthur: - When Arthur wakes up to your nightmares they trigger some nasty anxiety in him. He shoots awake, eyes darting around camp while his hand reaches for his gun. - When he realizes there’s no real danger he gently pets your hair in an attempt to calm you while also trying to settle his own beating heart. “Shhh sweetheart, there’s nothin’ to worry about.” - If you need to cry, Arthur will hold you and shield you from any of the gang members who might be looking your way. He rubs your back, drawing circles on your skin. He’s patient and gentle with you. - “Look at me. Hey, look.” He places your hand on his scarred face. “See? I’m the most real thing here. You ain’t got nothin to fear while I’m here, okay? I’ll beat up those nasty dreams for you. Just keep your eyes on me and breathe. There you go, that’s it.” Arthur talks you through breathing techniques, helping to ground you in reality. - Once you’re calm He’ll silently climb out of bed, grabbing something from his satchel. With a mischievous look on his face he climbs back into your shared cot and shows you two chocolate bars. “Look what I got.” He looks like a kid sneaking candy. Arthur didn’t eat candy often, so it amuses you that he looks thrilled.  He pushes the chocolate into your hand and snuggles with you as you both indulge in your treats.

- “We can talk about it if you want?” If you decide to tell him about it he’ll listen to you patiently. If not, that’s okay. Arthur is perfectly happy cuddling and eating chocolate with you. - After awhile if you become tired again Arthur will move so that he’s laying on his back inviting you to sleep on his chest. “I’ll hold you so those nasty nightmares know they can’t fuck with you anymore. If they want to they need to go through me first.” He says playfully. He’ll even hum a tune for you. You can feel the vibration in his chest as you drift off. ____ Charles: - “Hey, hey it’s okay.” Charles approaches you the same way he would approach a spooked horse. Because… well he doesn’t have much experience with this kind of thing so he doesn’t really know how to react. - He offers you a cup of tea to calm your nerves. He doesn’t say much at first, allowing you to enjoy his company. Especially if you need time to wake up and process your nightmares. -After awhile Charles invites you on a walk. “The moon is full and the night is beautiful. Come walk with me. It might help your nightmares clear off.” He offers you his hand, carefully helping you out of bed. - “You know, I used to have night terrors too.” He’ll speak after awhile as you both admire the stars on your walk. “Long ago after I lost my mother. I felt helpless. As time went on I found strength within myself and they slowly went away. I know… It probably doesn’t help hearing that. But, uh, I want you to know you have strength. And when you don’t feel strong enough I hope you’ll turn to me so that I can be your strength in those moments. Maybe that will help.” He smiles gently. You can almost make out his blush in the soft midnight light. It was hard for Charles to summon the courage to say something so borderline romantic but you’re the one person who’s always worth the effort. - Despite this Charles is nervous you’ll have another bad dream. After returning to bed he stays up for the rest of the night to keep an eye on you. Maybe it was because of the hurt his own dreams used to cause, he doesn’t know. What Charles does know is that it breaks his heart to see you suffering so. ____ Javier: - You feel gentle rocking as Javier takes you into his arms. “Oh, mi amor, only good dreams.” He cooes, kissing your hair. - He nuzzled you, holding you while he lets you wake up. - “Tell me what frightened you.” His deep eyes search your face. Javier is an excellent listener. He’ll even ask for clarification on a few details. “I don’t know if this is helpful or not, but I too struggle with these things. I often see the man I killed back in Mexico. I don’t regret my decision and… I guess he’s trying to haunt me… I don’t know. But, every time I see him I simply take out my knife and threaten to do it again. It works every time. Maybe you can do that in your dream too?” - Javier will tuck you back into your bed roll then will get out his guitar. Softly he will sing you back to sleep - Even after you fall asleep he’ll pay with your hair. He’s afraid you’ll wake up scared again so he doesn’t take his eyes off of you until the sun comes up. ____ Dutch: - When you start having night terrors Dutch feels responsible for your comfort. He knows he’s the reason you’re waking up terrified at night. Reaching for him or screaming out. He pulled you into this life and now it’s weighing heavy on your mind. Dutch knows he should at least take responsibility for this. - “Darling-” He caresses your cheek with the back of his fingers, carefully waking you as gently as possible. “You poor thing. It’s alright, it’s only a dream.” Surprisingly tender he collects you into his arms. - If you want to talk about it he’ll listen carefully and deconstruct your dream for you in hopes that it’ll help you feel better. - “Nightmares are a way into our mind. They’re fears beyond our control, or so we think. We cannot fight nature, and we cannot fight life, but nightmares we can. You faced them bravely, my love. The only true fear that comes from our nightmares are the fear that we aren’t strong enough to prevail. Yet, here you are. You prevailed. And you’ll continue to do so.” He’ll be on that Evelyn Miller type beat. - After his very cool philosophical speech it’ll hit Dutch just how sleepy he is. Now that little bit of exhausted annoyance sets in. “Now, go back to sleep!” He huffs a little. Despite this he still holds onto you lovingly as he buries his face into your hair to honk mimimi for the rest of the night. _____ Hosea: - He’s no stranger to nightmares. Especially after all he’s seen and done. -Hosea gently plays with your hair to wake you, making sure the area is lit enough so you can recognize his face immediately. “It’s alright my sweet. I’m right here with you, okay?” - He simply lays with you as you try to gain your bearings. He doesn’t dare crowd you in case you prefer to have some space. Once Hosea has your permission he’ll gently move you to lay on his chest. - Reading to you in a soft voice, his tired eyes will wander to your face every few pages to make sure you’re doing alright. - He pays special attention to your breathing. If you’re breathing hard or fast he’ll whisper sweet nothings to calm you down. But if your breaths are slow as you fall back asleep he’ll become quiet, wanting you to rest as much as possible. - In the morning Hosea asks everyone to let you sleep in. He’ll make sure to ready a healthy breakfast and some coffee. - Sitting with you as you eat in bed, Hosea asks you if you want to talk about your dream. - “When my Bessie passed, I was terrified to sleep. I would dream of her. Horrible horrible dreams. Sometimes our minds create the greatest horrors. I just wanna let you know, if you ever need me it’s okay to wake me up. I’ll hold you, or get you anything you need. There’s not much I can do, but I’ll do what I can.”

[astrologylunadream]

What They Want for Christmas?💌🎀🎄 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

♪All I want for christmas is you~💕

Hey it's Lunadream💓 Christmas is here~ so it's a must to see what that person on your mind has on their list!🗒💫 hope you find your message🍨

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🤍

Pile 1☃️

Pile 2🌸

Pile 3🐈

Pile 4🦢

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> ☁️🎄🌸

Pile 1☃️

Sign energy: Decay, Venus, Deep, Adventure, Outfit, North node, 2nd house, Virgo, Saturn, Capricorn, 🛑🟨👄👉

🎄Your person's energy: Ah so you're person has very sweet yet defined features, also feminine aura about them💓 They may have Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, or Aquarius placements in their chart. Your person is so soft and cute but also really attractive physically, their lips draw you in so deep omg they have really nice lips😳💞 There may be a significant age gap for some of my pile 1's but your person can simply seem mature for their age like responsible and well behaved. I'm getting the feeling your person doesn't let themselves have fun that often, they try to limit crazy or wild experiences to prevent the risk of huge problems in their life. Ohh but your person has such an effortless sensual beauty about them, I feel like their jaw/neck is one of their key features. They are so pretty to you I'm hearing🥺💗 They dress really nice like sensibly and classy, omg they just look so well put together in everything they wear!😫 This may be someone you are unable to love in some way, like something is stopping you from feeling their love. Yellow may look good on your person, the color could be significant. They have a hot voice haha, like do you just stare at their lips when they speak??😂💋 Their touch is so irresistible to my pile 1's like the way they touch you would probably feel really pleasing.🥴 You guys are really far into loving this person, like these feelings for them have run deep even until the end of the year🎄💗 You low key want to kiss this person I'm hearing aww ^v^ My pile 1's have such a soft and adorable love for this person like how could they ignore that??

🎀What they want for christmas: Absence, Center, Face, Spiral, 2nd house, Fire, 3rd house, 4th house, Lilith, Sun,😋🧨♉❌ Ohh okay there's definitely something your person wants to rid of this season oml like that is their christmas present, now I'm called to say it's people bothering them that they wish would just leave them be for now😞 This could be family or just anyone around them that is causing problems for them during this time. They want to have peace and quiet away from any gossip or fake smiles and be able to enjoy the finer things, they also want to be comfortable and home for christmas. They don't wanna be the center of attention right now, like literally all they want is some time to themselves to enjoy the holidays!!😫 Ugh I feel so bad for them like seriously my pile 1's your person is so done with people invading their personal space and taking up their time. All they want for christmas is to take a break from all the drama and go slow with things, sit back and relax while listening to christmas tunes.🎄🎷💕 They want to go off the radar and enjoy a christmas in solitude only with those closest to them they trust. They may also wish to spend less money this year, and spend the holidays simpler. For some of my pile 1's this person wishes to run away with you for christmas, that is one gift they desire is to go far away to a desolate yet beautiful winter wonderland and take you with them.🥺❄☃️ This year they may feel less of a need for anything under their tree, ohh but one thing is that they sort of want is to have you in their possesion for christmas, like their special little gift to unwrap😳 But overall they just to have a pleasant cozy time enjoying christmas in peace.💭🎀❄

💌Messages from your person: This is all my fault, It's too early, I'm loyal to you, Just dance with me to holiday tunes, I only listen to you, Do you think I'm hot? I want to spend time with you this christmas, Listen up (Haha your person has a lot to say omg🥰) Extra cards: Nice, Pluto, Princess, Wild, Feminine

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❄💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the snowing snowman emoji~☃️ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗

Pile 2🌸

Sign energy: Seduction, Gap, Pretty, Search, Mindfulness, 2nd house, Mars, Juno, Eros, Mercury, 🤯😴👗🏚

🎄Your person's energy: We have a very attractive person for my pile 2's!! I feel like you guys have a noticeable height difference. (so cute >w<) Taurus, Aries, Scorpio, Gemini and Virgo are posible placements, may have mercury or mars in 2nd house. Haha your person is searching for the one💍 They are very serious about committing and finding their life partner I mean they are so passionate about finding their future spouse omg💞 They know how to reel others in romantically with their voice and way of flirting, this is someone they are very good at🤭🌹 They can turn anyone on pretty easily I'm hearing, because they're super smooth and witty. Now your person definitely has good looks, you find them pretty and hot at the same time like "which one??"😰 Lol it's both. Somewhere in your mind you are low key curious what they look like in a dress😏 (no matter gender haha) Ah my pile 2's your person is really desirable and attractive!! You may feel they are the one for you, and you might know their flirting tricks all too well. They blow you away nonetheless with their stunning natural beauty and charms, aw and I bet their voice could put you to sleep like it's so soft and soothing to you.😭💗 Their voice turns you on too, and the things they say... they definitely seduce you well. You want to dress up for this person, and you think of them often. They are maybe even sweeter than cake to you, that is how they make you feel my pile 2's! <3

🎀What they want for christmas: Practice, Store, Control freak, Vent, Disturbance, Venus, Scorpio, Air, 1st house, Eros,💪🧡🎢😩 Wow okay this is alot. So your person is definitely obsessing over something for christmas, like it has to happen or else!!🤯 Now I'm getting not so much as getting gifts for themselves, but they want to buy gifts for others. Lol they also wish they could buy love for christmas I'm hearing🥺💓 Omg pile 2 I think they want you for christmas, like they want to have you all to themselves!!😫🙏 Loving you may be their christmas wish, and getting to unwrap you too🥵 They have a lot of crazy fantasies for christmas of my pile 2's but I will try to keep it shallow as possible. Your body is their most desired gift, let's just say that. And they wish they could have a lot of fun with their christmas toy🫣🧤♨️ I mean endless control and play time. That is ALL I will be saying for that I'm sorry maybe take it over to one of my spicy readings lol anyways as the song goes, all they want for christmas is you like wow.🥺 They want lots of pleasures for christmas, and a lot of indulging. Splurging on shopping and taking photos for christmas, I feel like they wanna buy a lot of stuff they find pretty😂 Buying you christmas gifts may be something they wish to do someday, they want to give you so much for the holidays. They want to please you because it gives them a sense of fulfillment too. Taking you to stores and buying you whatever you want, that is on their christmas list😖🗒💞

💌Messages from your person: We would be perfect together, I want to protect you, Don't hold back, Think of me, I get lost in your eyes, I know exactly how you like it, Do as I say, Don't give me the silent treatment (Omg😳🤭) Extra cards: Routine, January, Slow, Social media, Optimist

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❄💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the pink flower emoji~🌸 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗

Pile 3🐈

Sign energy: Apology, Hard, Bottom, First impression, Moon, Sun, Aquarius, 8th house, Cancer, Jupiter, 🔍🟧🧚‍♀️🍎

🎄Your person's energy: This is a very emotional person on pile 3's mind, bright and angelic. Possible placements are Cancer, Leo, Aquarius, Scorpio, Sagittarius and Pisces. I feel like you are heavily looking into this person for whatever reason, seeking out all the possibilities. You probably learn more about them way easier than math.🤣 The color orange may be significant or you've been seeing it lately. You have been keeping an eye on this person especially through online sources, trying to discover what they're all about🧐💭 They may have peaked your interest at first because you found them physically *ahem* attractive♨️ and now you've been trying to look deeper beyond their pretty face and know get to know them well. They may have done something they regret in the past, causing them to feel bad or upset with themselves. They really do have an ethereal beauty to them, like an elf or fairy. You want to know a lot about this person, to know them so well it's almost scary.😨 Because they interest you so much, and you like being curious. Some of you know this person through online so you look at their photos with wonder of who they really are behind it all, you wanna get to the bottom of it. I feel like you guys like having something to obsess over and hey it keeps things interesting for some of you so that is why you are so involved with your person.💗✔ I'm getting some detective vibes from you guys, trying to discover your person <3

🎀What they want for christmas: Meant to be, Captive, Regret, Locked, Cold, Moon, 6th house, Uranus, Venus, Eros, 🎭🧬🍁🦉 Aww so for some of you, this person really wants to be with their mother for christmas.🥺💞💞 How sweet. For some of my pile 3's this person may have family or relatives in canada. They may feel tired and trapped in their routine/job and wanna take time off from their obligations to attend family gatherings and reunions.🥂💫 There is a very specific gift they long for this christmas, they are fixated on receiving love.💏🎄 They are wishing on a star to feel the warm feeling and sweetness that comes from a lover during the holidays. They may regret spending too much time online or through their phone instead of focusing on the love they long for. Your person is definitely dreaming of a white christmas, they want it to be cold and snowing so they can bundle up in the comfort of a blanket with their loved ones.🏠🧣💞 They also imagine the best gift of all would be holding their lover tight to shield them from the cold, and keep them safe and warm in their arms.❤ Having a steamy night with them is also on their list😳 Haha your person really wants a romantic time for the holidays, but they are actually really overthinking about what to get for christmas. Also thinking of what to gift to coworkers or friends, that is a lot of what's weighing on their mind right now. They want all sorts of events and romance for the holidays omg my pile 3's your person really wants to be loved for christmas💓

💌Messages from your person: You'll never forget me, Just listen to me, They're just jealous, I'm in trouble, I should be, You're my problem, Why would you want me? You're the only one for me this christmas (Ahh😆💗) Extra cards: Pretend, Softie, Admiration, Details, Offer

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❄💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the cat emoji~🐈 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗

Pile 4🦢

Sign energy: Learning, Head, Model, Waist, Bones, 5th house, 3rd house, 10th house, Uranus, Pluto, 🌸🎬🤞👸

🎄Your person's energy: Such lovely vibes for my pile 4's person, powerful magnetic aura too. Leo, Gemini, Capricorn, Aquarius and Scorpio placements are significant, Pluto in 3rd house, Uranus in 5th placements. Your person has really good bone structure I'm hearing, may have model like features especially jawline or bones. Their waistline is highly attractive to you, they have an effortless charm to them.💗 I feel like a lot of people obsessively think of your person, and say possesive things like "they're mine" or "I own you" like everyone wants a piece of them omg🙄 They have a movie star look to them, they just look like the face of a movie. Very unique and creative too, their hairstyle or color is eye catching in some way. I am getting very successful vibes from your person, like they are on the right track✔ Their mind is very deep and magnetic, like they have a hot mind lol. (probably a dark one too😳) The same flower emoji came out that represented pile 2 so for those who felt drawn to that pile maybe check that too. Your person has such a cool vibe to them, untouchable and gorgeous. I feel like they roll their eyes at the invasive comments others make about them, they don't let the little people bother them. They know what they're worth, I feel like this person makes a lot of money😩💲💰 They walk like it's nobody's business omg model walk, and that intense stare ahh my pile 4's your person is killing it😍

🎀What they want for christmas: Romance, Masculine, Chemistry, Short-term, Harm, Virgo, Moon, Aries, Sagittarius, Eros, ♨️🎫🤨🧯 Omg I was not expecting this but your person wants to get on the naughty list apparently.😰👿 We won't be going into details here but wow, just wow. All I will say is that your person wants a usable gift for sure, something they can have their fun with and meet their needs.😭 Unleash their worst side, they want a lot of chemistry. Your person wants to redeem their prize with someone, it is possible this is my pile 4's. Tbh what they really want is a short-term wild night as their christmas present, to let loose from their job/routine and let out all their aggressions on someone🫣 They may simply wish to yell at someone to release all their built up stress from everything they've dealt with this year.💢 Omg they just want to go off on those people who annoy them lmao that would literally be the best christmas present to them.😂🎁 But yeah they have a lot of naughty things on their list, definitely physical fantasies I won't go into but yeah. They want a hot and passionate time with someone, to take away their worries and let out their wild side.🤯 Maybe they feel like showing you for your christmas present, and since they could really feel like dominating someone it could be their hope to satisfy your fantasies of them.💓

💌Messages from your person: The pain will go away, We will be together, Let's listen to christmas music together, I always fantasize about you, Don't just stand there, No, I believe in you, You should smile more. (How cute🤭💫) Extra cards: Compulsive, First love, One of a kind, Despair, Sight

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❄💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the swan emoji~🦢 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

[rottenblur]

My modern Romeo|J.MILLER

part three

Summary: When Joel ghosts you after a drunk makeout you had enough. Risking your life, breaking into his house was worth it to get the last word in. Only if you knew alot more than a conversation was gonna happen.

Warnings: thigh riding, joel teaching you how to touch dick??? Smut. Messy fucking situation. SMUT IN A BED!!! Kissing, makeout. Hickeys.

“You’ve been told listening to your heart rather than your brain gets you nowhere in this world, yet your feet still bring you to the walls of jackson.”

It had been three weeks since you last seen Joel, kissed him.

You were worried, had he got caught? Would you ever seen him again, did he want to see you again?

It was late, 2am on a Friday and you weren’t with him. It was eating you up alive, did he forget about me? Was all he wanted from me was to get it dick hard?

You throw the book you were reading, one that you could barely focus on due to lack of Joel. Three weeks of being bossed around by your family, your group was ruining your will from the outside in.

I gotta do something about this, if he doesn’t wanna see me, i wanna hear him say it to my face you think to yourself.

Its the least he could do, after making you like him so so long, crave him.

He can’t get kiss you then never see you again, can he?

Three weeks of walking to the so very prized field, waiting for hours just for him to not show.

You get off your bed, throw on a sweater not bothering to dress up for him. Fuck it.

You start on the route to jackson, a route you were warned about by group members. Yet Joel had told you a million times exactly how he sneaks out, to meet you, you knew where you we going, or you hoped.

It was a far walk, a reason Tommy used a horse and not his own damned legs. It’s hard to not get into your thoughts when your aching legs aren’t adding positivity to your thoughts.

What if everything you thought was true? Would you ever see him again? You loved him, did you? Did you even know what love is? Fuck it, doesn’t matter.

You reach the hill before jackson, the enchanting view of it. All the houses, the life that thrives from there made you overwhelmed. How could you be mad at him for not wanting to leave here, a overwhelming amount of guilt washes over you.

A guilt you should listen to but you don’t. You couldn’t, you’d rather die trying to see him then never see him again.

You’ve been told listening to your heart rather than your brain gets you nowhere in this world, yet your feet still bring you to the walls of jackson.

Joel had told you about a place where the wall needs to be repaired, how he sneaks out when he doesn’t have a reason to leave. Thank god for him.

You squeeze yourself through the broken wall, barely fitting through, how the fuck does he fit.

You make sure you’re out of sight from the patrol towers and make your way through a line of houses.

The faint sounds of barn animals is the only sound in the dead of night in jackson.

On the front of every house a last name is engraved in each mailbox, do they get mail? You only heard pre apocalypse stories about how people would send letters to each other worldwide, it fascinated you, maybe you would ask him about it.

Twenty minutes of scurrying through six rows of houses, till you come across a large house with worn down white paints on the steps. A black mailbox with “J.MILLER” engraved into it near some white fencing. Bingo.

You look around, checking to see if anyone was around before stepping onto the worn down steps, squeaking beneath your feet.

You take a deep breath before reaching for the door knob, twisting it. Fuck. It’s locked. Of course it’s locked, why wouldn’t it be?

Stepping over towards the window near the entrance you pull it up, slowly and carefully trying not to make any noise.

You throw yourself inside of it and close it behind you. You glance around the room, it smells like old coffee and pine. Him.

Walking around on the old wood floor, you walk towards the steps slowly stepping on each one trying to make it squeak as little as possible.

God what the absolute fuck were you thinking. You were so upset at him, and yourself for him leaving you alone for so long, you didn’t plan what you would actually do when you got here.

Reaching the top step, you try to make out the dark hallway. A few rooms covering the top floor, you walk up to a door and hope it’s his bedroom.

Never would you think in this world people would be living so comfortably, in such big houses, filled with furniture.

Shit, you had furniture if a bed on the floor and a bookshelf counted. A half empty bookshelf from giving away most of your life to this man. Whatever, maybe it could be worth it.

You turn the door knob easing it open slowly, not to wake him. Lucky guess, there he was. An arm tucked underneath his head, laid onto a pillow. You step closer, his room was exactly how you imagined it. Not exactly, but very close you didn’t think it would be this domestic.

It looked like he was alive. A real fucking human, alive not just living surviving however they could, at what major cost.

The wolves were living not fucking alive, they were gruesome with at the lengths they would go to, for survival. You were taught how to survive, not nurture nor love. That comes back to you when you realize what you were doing, breaking into his community just to get the last word what the fuck.

Brushing those thoughts out of your head and approaching the bed, his other arm laid onto his waist, his bare waist. You gulp down your shame and reach out a arm, covering his mouth.

His eyes bolt open with a worried look, he furrows his brows and searches your face in the darkness in recognition. He mumbles into your hand.

You remove your hand, his brows still tightly clenched together.

“What the fuck are you doin’ here?”

You tilt your head.

“Oh hello to you to? Jesus don’t gotta curse at me.”

“You could have gotten shot? Did you think of that?”

He sits up.

You sit down on the bed next to him.

“Obviously i did, where have you been asshole?”

He pitches his nose bridge and slumps over.

“Shit happened since i saw you last.”

He looks at you, the glimmer of moon light shines on dark bruises and open cuts covering his soft face.

“Oh fuck, who did that are you okay??” You touch his face, he winces and pulls your hand away.

“I’m okay. It’s nothin’ darlin’- fuck.” He shakes his head and says your name.

You stand up, turning on the christmas lights that litter his ceiling. Getting a better look at his face, it was bad, beat to plup bad.

“Jesus Joel that’s not okay. You were gone and i had to come all this way and you’re fucking beat up?”

He stands up, picks up a shirt off the floor and throws it on shaking his head.

“Okay, you make out with me then just disappear? I risk my life for you and you won’t talk to me?”

You walk up to him trying to size him up, knowing he’s double your size. Fuck that.

“I can explain, uh i just-“

He studders, and places his hands on your arms.

God he looks like he wants to cry.

“You just got your dick wet and decided you didn’t want me anymore?” You snap back.

He looks down.

“I just can’t control myself around you anymore, it’s for the better.”

You take his hands off you.

“For the better my ass. Wasn’t you that said that thing about lying? You should listen to yourself.”

He looks at you, you can see his pride slipping away from his soft brown eyes.

“I got into a fight cause i was so fucking mad at myself for missing you so much.”

You start to understand, maybe you felt a little bad.

“I feel bad that your first real—I don’t know what you would call us, romance? Is so forbidden. You should be able to see someone everyday, not just weekly.”

He shakes his head and takes a step away, you stop him.

You grab his arm and pull him towards you, he looks at you, down to your lips and back up to your eyes.

“I needed you so fucking bad Joel.”

You step onto your tippy toes and kiss him, pulling away to see his reaction, he looks at you with those fucking puppy eyes.

He pulls you back into the kiss, deepening it and pulling you closer. He steps back, his legs hitting the bed frame, then pulling you on top of him onto the bed.

Your first real kiss with him, on a fucking bed. Is this real?

He holds your face with one hand, the other placed carefully on your waist. You regret your outfit choice now.

You pull away, he looks confused then you take your gun holster off your hip and place it onto the bedside table.

You straddle him, avoiding his lips and going down to his neck. You didn’t know what you were doing, or if it even felt good fuck man he was the first person you ever made out with.

Yet the way his hips rutted up against you and whimpers left his mouth told you everything. You kiss and suck up and down his neck, grunts of “fuck” and “oh thats so fuckin’ good” left his mouth till you pulled away to look at him. His fucked out face, bruised patches on his neck matched the same hue of his face.

“Oh fuck did i hurt you?”

“Huh?” He looks confused.

“Your neck, its bruised? I didn’t know I could do that.”

He just laughs and shakes his head.

“Shit, you gave me hickeys? You don’t know what a hickey is darlin’?” He squints his eyes at you.

You shake your head.

“I mean you’re the first guy I’ve made out with.”

He looks shocked, and kinda guilty.

“Fuck, really?”

You nod and trace your fingers along his bruised neck, down to his shirt collar.

“You want it off?” He looks at you with a grin.

“That okay?” You ask him nervously.

He reached to the bottom hem of his shirt and pulls up and off. Fuck. He looked even better with the lights on, his happy trail littering his stomach leading down to a patch of curly hair peaking out of his boxers.

He watches your eyes scan his body, pulling you into a kiss, his hand moving from your waist down to your hips.

His fingers burned into your skin with pleasure, god you wished he could touch you forever.

The kiss picks up in pace, so does his hips. Rutting into you, holding your hips tight to the hardness in his boxers. It was embarrassing how fucking wet you were.

A whimper slips out and into his mouth, he feels the vibrations on his lips, on his tongue.

He pulls away, slowly rutting against you with a groan.

“You like that? Make you feel good?” He asks you in a hungry voice.

You nod and hold back a whimper almost escaping your mouth.

“You wanna try something else? Make me feel good?”

Of course you wanted to make him feel good. You liked him, if you knew what love was maybe you loved him.

You nod, he scoots your hips back a little bit, resting on the top of his thighs. He pulls the waistband of his boxers back, his length snaps back hitting his belly button. It was fucking huge.

It was leaking and the tip was tan to match the length, thick veins littered his girth.

Your eyes open wide and the fire in your panties grew.

“You wanna touch it?”

You nod and squeeze your fist onto his dark blue blanket.

“Spit on your hand.”

His words are demanding but his eyes are dazed and glossy.

You spit on your hand, he grabs it and wraps it around him.

“You’re hands barely wrap ‘round it darlin’”

He grins, move your hand up to his tip brushing your thumb on it, collecting the precum. He brings the precum down, moving your hand up and down at a slow pace.

“Am i doing okay?” You almost whispered out.

He picks up the pace and removes his hand, leaving your hand to do all the work. It was making you needy. You wanted him, you wanted all of him.

“Mh just like that, fuck that’s good.”

You look away from your hand and up to him, his gaze is lost and his head is thrown back onto the bed.

A string of grunts and mumbles leaves his throat, encouraging you to move your hand faster, grip him tighter.

You start slowing rutting your hips onto his thigh, the rough denim of your jeans against his thick bare leg.

“You like this darlin’? Getting yourself off on my thigh, so fuckin’-“ a whimper leaves his throat and he continues “-so fucking cute baby.”

His tip is leaking profusely onto the top of your hand, aiding to the wetness seeping out of your jeans. The more you hips more, the faster, the rougher. The harder you grip him, jerking him faster.

Between the two of you there’s almost a single thought, almost. Both Chasing a high, a desperate one, no one has ever made you feel this way before.

He starts rutting into your hand, rougher groans leaking from his throat, just as you reach your high, he does. Leaking white strings all over your hand, and onto his hips. A fucking mess, the two of you are.

He pulls his head off the bed and looks at you, fucked out glossy eyes, so fucking fulfilled. If it wasn’t for his face littered with bruises, you’d think he was the happiest man alive.

“Ah fuck, there’s shit in the bathroom if you wanna clean yourself up.” He leans in and kisses your lips.

A gentle, soft plush kiss.

You get off him with achy knees recollecting your thoughts, your brain as a whole.

“Fuck, you made a mess all over my thigh.” You watch him reach down, collecting some on his fingers and sucking on them.

A stupid fucking grin rushes to his face, a adorable grin.

You walk over to the bathroom, wet a face cloth with warm water and wipe off your hands, looking at your watch smeared with cum. Fuck. It’s already four in the god damn morning.

You bring out another face cloth, throwing the other into a laundry basket thrown into his bathroom.

He accepts it with a smile, cleaning himself up, disregarding his boxers for new ones.

“Cute ass.” You say smiling and sitting onto the bed, watching him clothe himself.

He laughs back at you, a forced one. So fucking sassy.

“You know, i’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout that since i met you.”

You shake your head as he walks up to you.

He places a kiss onto your neck, not one. Kissing up and down your neck with gentle kisses.

“It’s fucking late. I should really go, don’t want your boys on me, do I?”

He shakes his head, that god damn sad look in his eye made you want to stay forever, it was intoxicating.

“Friday? I mean it. I don’t know what i was thinking, i really fucking missed you.” He places a kiss onto your forehead, hugging you. A genuine comforting hug, a drug. You drink in his scent before getting up to leave.

Maybe it was love. Maybe you did love him.

My masterlist

Taglist: @paleidiot @slvbl @princessanglophile

AN!!!! God damn this took a while, my writing schedule has been so fucked up recently. Send request or questions to my inbox! I hope yall liked this

[spookyscarydemonbabe]

Drive

A/N- During the normal April rain, i got the urge to watch some more of S4. Have i officially finished it yet? No. Does it still give me little ideas every now and then? Absolutely. And sorry to come back with such a (somewhat) depressing fic 😂 please know i’ve been working on a few things back and forth for the last two months so expect a few scattered fics here and there when i get around to finishing them. I still miss you all very much 😘 (P.S. i got this story while listening to Drive by The Cars, hence the title :p)

Summary- Late one night you get a call from Eddie that sends chills down your spine

Genre- Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

Warnings- S4 spoilers, mentions of death/dying

Tag List- @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @munsonology @esme-viridian @gvf23 @wheels-of-despair

(tag list is always open, let me know if you’d like to be added 🖤)

Word Count- 4.5k

Tonight was finally the night.

The last dreadful day of school before spring break, thank god. For another seven days you would be able to stay up late, sleep in, hang out with the guys, smoke, put a dent into the list of movies Jeff and Gareth had been making for you to watch before you die, and maybe finally dive into that stack of books next to your nightstand that you’ve been putting off reading. All the while you’d have full accessibility to the house while your parents were on vacation for a little spring break of their own.

It would be bliss. Save for the few shifts at work during the week, but it was a sacrifice you’d be willing to make for all that extra free time.

You had finally sat down after a shower, your hair still damp at your shoulders as you sat on the couch with a bag of chips at your side and a can of pop waiting to be opened at the living room table, you reached for the remote and as soon as you clicked the power button you could hear the incessant ringing of the telephone. As much as you wanted to ignore it and let it ring, something just didn’t feel right.

There was something that washed over you as you glanced down the hall at the phone on the wall, and just couldn’t help but carefully wander down to pick it up. Your heart dropped into the pit of your stomach before you could even say anything.

Eddie was at the other end. Crying, hyperventilating, and you could just hear his panicked pacing through his quick speech. It took a moment for you to even realize what was happening before finally speaking up,

“Eddie! Eddie, calm down, i can’t understand you. What’s wrong? What happened?”

“I don’t know!” He shouted into the phone between sobs, “I was in my bedroom and then walked out and she was acting so strange and then she started floating and-“ He couldn’t finish. Whatever it was that had happened, you knew it wasn’t something that could be fixed with him calming down.

“Ok, it’s ok, you don’t have to tell me. I know you’re really scared right now, i’m here for you ok.”

“(y/n), i don’t know what to do…” He cried out, and it was heartbreaking hearing just how badly he was hurting without even knowing what was going on. The mystery of it all was panic inducing enough for you, you couldn’t imagine how Eddie was feeling on the other end.

“Eddie, i need you to listen very carefully to me, ok? I want you take a deep breath, i want you to get your keys, and i want you to drive over here. Don’t bother with going home, don’t bother grabbing anything or stopping anywhere, get over here now. I don’t know what the situation is but i can tell that whatever it is, it isn’t safe.”

He said not another word, and you heard the click of the phone on the other end, the disconnect tone playing in your ear wasn’t helping the situation.

Within minutes you could hear the screeching tires of Eddie’s van pull into your driveway. You watched from the front window as he struggled to pull the keys from the ignition, rushing to get out as fast as he could. When he saw you carefully open the door for him he couldn’t help but run to you, wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace, his head buried in your chest and you could hear the slow sobs start once more.

“Ok, it’s ok. Shh, it’s ok…” You still had no idea what was happening.

All you knew was that Eddie was here, crying, panicked, scared, and he needed you.

You quickly shut the front door, clicking the lock and moving your arms around him once more, one hand moving to cradle the back of his head as you felt his tears start to soak through your shirt.

He was trembling, cold to the touch, and you were terrified not knowing what on this earth had made him feel this way. He was in a state that you had never seen him in before, and as painful as it was to not bombard him with every question you had floating around in your brain about what could possibly be making him like this, you let him be. He needed time, and what he needed now was someone to make him feel right again.

The moment you heard the sobs start to quiet and his breathing became slower, you carefully pulled yourself away, hand still on the back of his head to comfort him as his arms never left your sides,

“Shh, it’s alright. Take a few deep breaths ok?”

Eddie looked up to you and nodded, his bloodshot eyes slowly closing as he took a few shaky deep breaths. Your hands moved to his cheeks, wiping away the few stray tears that slipped through.

“You don’t have to tell me what happened right now,” Eddie opened his eyes as you held his cheeks, “but i need to know if you’re hurt, or if someone else is hurt…” You looked down to his Hellfire Club shirt, spotting a few stray droplets of blood, but Eddie seemed to be physically fine.

“Someone else…” The thought of whatever had happened made him muster up another quick sob.

“I’m glad you’re ok. We’ll worry about that in a little bit ok, right now let’s stand you up.” He nodded once more and your arms moved to hold onto his, trying to give him a reassuring smile as he did his best to slow his breathing back to normal, “Let’s go get you cleaned up, come with me.”

You still held onto his arm as you led him upstairs. This wasn’t the first time he had come over, he knew the layout of your home well, but you wouldn’t dare leave his side while he was in this state.

You slowly walked him down the hall and into the bathroom, letting him carefully sit on the toilet as you leaned over and fidgeted with the knobs for the faucet. Eddie leaned over, his elbows at his knees, palms at his forehead. His breathing had slowed finally, but he was quiet. You reached your hand beneath the faucet and once the water felt warm enough you pulled the curtain and started the shower for him, kneeling on the floor before him.

“Eddie?” He slowly moved his hands and looked to you, eyes still bloodshot with swollen cheeks from all the tears he had shed, “I know that whatever it is you’re going through isn’t easy, but all i want to do is help you. You know that right?”

He was still silent, but nodded.

“Take a shower, clean yourself up. I promise i’ll be nearby the whole time, and i’m going to come back in a few minutes with a towel and pajamas for you, ok?”

He nodded again, and you gave him another smile as you stood. You pushed the hair aside on his forehead and placed a gentle kiss to the space, and it seemed that this finally got a reaction out of him. His lips twitched at the corners, and you could see he wanted to smile back to you but he was just so exhausted.

You left the bathroom and shut the door behind you, standing there for just a moment to listen for anything. As soon as you heard a bit of shuffling and his clothes hitting the floor you smiled to yourself and wandered to the hall closet, grabbing a towel and then heading into your parents room to steal a pair of your dads pajama pants and an extra shirt for Eddie to change into. They’d be oversized and probably a little uncomfortable but they were better than nothing.

You walked back to the bathroom door, towel and clothes in hand, and waited. After a deep breath, and a quick shake just to get your nerves in place, your gently rapped your knuckles at the door,

“Eddie?” You opened the door just a crack, “I’m coming in, ok?”

You only heard a groan from him, but it was enough for you to enter once again. You saw his clothes piled up on the floor and placed the towel on top of the toilet, the extra pajamas on the counter. You could hear a few sounds from him through the curtain, a few groans and it sounded like he was doing his best to keep his composure. You left him to his business, grabbing his clothes off of the floor and quickly folding them into a pile and carrying them out with you, save for his underwear that you left with the extra pajamas for him.

“I’ll be in my room ok? Take all the time you need and i’ll be there when you’re done.” You said before stepping back out into the hall and softly closing the door behind you.

With one more deep breath you walked to your bedroom door, flicking the light switch on and leaving the door open for Eddie whenever he was finished and ready to come in. His clothes were placed on top of your dresser and you quickly wandered around to grab a few things for him. Extra pillow and blanket, a hair brush and some detangling solution, and you grabbed a few small snacks from your munchies stash under your bed for him to snack on. You didn’t know what he would’ve needed, but it was a good idea to be prepared for anything.

As you sat on your bed waiting for him you reached for the remote and switched on your TV, you heard the floorboards creaking at your door. Eddie was standing there in your doorway, towel in hand with his wet hair soaking the shoulders of the oversized shirt.

“Hey, come on in, close the door behind you.” You smiled to him, standing up and approaching him slowly, “Here, you take this, and i’ll take that,” You had handed him the TV remote and took the towel from his hands, leading him to the end of your bed, “you sit and find something to watch. Let me deal with your hair, i know you like how gentle i am with it.”

Eddie finally gave you a smile. A small one, but it was something. He sat at the end of your bed and you sat behind him on the mattress, reaching over and grabbing their hairbrush and detangler before lifting his wet hair and draping the towel over his shoulders.

He finally seemed calm as you sprayed the fruity scented detangler into his hair, gently brushing at the end in small sections as he finally found a channel to settle on. It was one of the local public access channels that showed old music videos while the host talked about all his favorite parts from the video afterwards. Music was always his happy place.

Eddie breathed deeply, quietly, sitting there before you with his eyes on the tv while you gently brushed his hair. He was always so grateful to have you to turn to when he wasn’t ok. Though it was odd to see him like this.

You had seen him cry when he was panicked over having to repeat another school year, you had seen him scared after Wayne found out he had swiped a few cans of beer from the fridge, but this was something new. This was a different kind of fear. He wasn’t trying to brave this one out and take it on the chest like he had before. It was like he had reverted to a scared little boy with no clue what to do or who to turn to. This was something he couldn’t face alone and he knew you knew that now.

You kept quiet as you finished with his hair, setting the brush down next to you and using the towel to scrunch his curls, gently pulling it off of his shoulders and bringing it to your hamper. He didn’t move as you went to sit next to him, only turning to you as you nudged his shoulder to grab his attention.

His face was still slightly puffy from the tears he had shed, his eyes were slightly pink, but his breathing was normal and that you were grateful for.

“Are you ok?”

His eyes wandered away from yours and he shook his head gently, still not speaking.

“Eddie, i know you might not think i’ll understand whatever it is you’re going through, but i want to understand. Please…” You moved yourself to sit in front of him, his view of the TV blocked by your form, “I just want to know what happened.”

Eddie clenched his eyes shut and took a deep breath, and as he opened his eyes they began to water once more,

“You won’t believe me…” He choked out.

You stood for a moment and quickly ran over to your nightstand, grabbing the box of tissues for him to use whenever he needed them.

“Yes i will.” You reassured him. “Eddie, i know you wouldn’t lie to me, but i don’t know what’s going to happen if you don’t tell me. You said someone else was hurt and i saw the blood on your clothes… If you did something-“

“I didn’t do anything!” He shouted, cutting you off mid-sentence.

You sat back on your legs and reached over to turn down the volume on the TV, sitting and waiting patiently for Eddie to be ready to finally tell you what the cause of all his panic was. You could sense that he was ready, it was just hard to find the words.

With one last deep breath he looked down at his hands in his lap,

“I was at the trailer with Chrissy, i met her after school and she said she was going through some stuff. Asked for something strong. I left her in the living room while i went to look for it and when i came back she was acting… different.”

You tried to move closer to him but he backed himself away.

“Different how?” You asked.

His lip started to quiver and his eyes were shut tight again.

“She was just standing there… silent. Her eyes were rolled back and then her feet just lifted off of the ground, but not like she was floating, like someone had picked her up but there was nothing… no one…”

You gave him time. He needed patience, and you could see that whatever happened next was what caused him to act the way he was. He was terrified of something, someone, but he didn’t know what or who.

“I tried to wake her up and see if maybe she was just freaking out or something but…” His lip quivered as he tried to collect himself, but it was clear that this was an event he was having to relive every time he closed his eyes, “She floated up to the ceiling and it was like…” He started to hyperventilate again, and you inched closer, reaching out and gently grasping his arm, though this time he didn’t move away, “it was like something was inside her, breaking every bone in her body…” He couldn’t stop the flow of tears, and you couldn’t bear to have this go on any longer. Though it sounded crazy, Eddies reactions weren’t making it seem crazy.

“Ok, ok, you don’t have to tell me anymore, it’s alright.”

Eddie quickly wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you in close as he sobbed into your shoulder. You held him gently, slowly moving your fingers through his hair to try and comfort him. It always worked before.

“You don’t have to tell me any more…”

You said to him quietly, the music on the TV softly playing in the background was helping slightly to dull the horrific reaction Eddie was having to this memory.

A few moments had gone by, and though he was no where near better, his breathing was slowing and the tears were slowly stopping. Or maybe he just didn’t have any left in him.

“You think i’m crazy, don’t you?” He said through slow breaths.

“No.” You said plainly, “I don’t think you’re crazy Eddie. It sounds unreal but… with how you’ve been reacting i don’t see anything else making sense…”

It was an insane scene to think about. It sounded like something straight out of a horror movie, and those things were fine, they weren’t real. But this was. And Eddie was horrified.

“Did you call anyone else about this? Did you tell the guys or the police?”

“No…” He whimpered, hiding his head back into your shoulder, “I ran… I didn’t know what else to do or who else to go to…”

“Eddie,” You carefully lifted his face away from your shoulder, grabbing a tissue and wiping away the tears that trailed down his cheeks, “I know it’s scary, but you have to go to the police.”

“I can’t…”

“Yes you can.”

“I can’t, they’ll know i did it!” He shouted.

“You didn’t do anything!” You shouted back, quieting him once more, “I’ll go with you, i’ll vouch for you, i’ll say that you saw her earlier in the day and then you came over afterwards, i know you couldn’t have done something like this Eddie.”

“No.” He said it with no emotion between every word you were saying, “No, no, no. You are NOT lying to the police for me (y/n).”

“Then what are you going to do?”

Eddie was silent for a moment, sniffling as he recollected himself. He brought his knees up to his chest and looked down into his lap,

“I don’t know… They’re going to think it was me anyways…”

“Don’t say that!”

He could hear in your voice that talking about this was making you more and more worried for him. That’s the last thing he wanted.

“I’ll figure something out.”

You were quiet.

Neither of you were sure how to go about something like this.

You moved yourself to sit back next to him, your legs crossed in front of you as you fidgeted with your fingers in your lap. The quiet music on the TV was fading in and out and as the song played, somehow it managed to calm both your nerves, at least a little bit. You slowly leaned over and put your head onto his shoulder as you sat together, bringing your hand up to wipe away a single tear that had fallen from your eye. But of course once the first one started, it was difficult to stop. Eddie only noticed your tears after he heard a few muffled sniffles from next to him.

He looked over to you and saw the wetness at your cheeks and reached one arm around your shoulder to pull you in closer,

“Why are you crying?”

“Because,” Another sniffle as you reached up to wipe your eyes, “I’m worried about you…”

The corners of Eddie’s lips curled up into a small smile as he rested his head on top of yours,

“It’ll be alright… I promise.”

You silently nodded, looking up at him with a pursed smile through your wet eyes. You didn’t know if he would be alright, but Eddie wasn’t the type to lie. Especially not to you.

With a deep breath, you slowly shut your eyes and let out a yawn, Eddie catching it and doing it himself a moment later.

“Why don’t we get to bed?” You offered, “We’ll get everything figured out in the morning.”

Eddie nodded, slowly getting up and stretching his arms over his head as you stood up next to him.

You wandered over to your bed, grabbing a few pillows and holding them in your arms as you started to pull one of the blankets away for Eddie to use before he stopped you,

“Wait! Um…” He was hesitant for a moment, but you let him take his time, “Could i uh… If you’re ok with it-“

“Do you want to sleep in bed with me?” You cut him off, seeing that he was a bit uncomfortable at the thought of having to ask. He nodded and you smiled to him as you placed the pillows back into their spots, “Of course you can.”

You pulled the covers back to make room for him as he wandered to the other side of your bed. He’d stayed the night plenty of times before, but never like this. Just the two of you sharing a bed. The thought of it made his heart flutter, and maybe under different circumstances he might even consider it a romantic thing between you with the music helping the mood. But he was just happy that you cared so much for him.

He didn’t know if you liked him or not, but he knew that you loved each other.

“Go ahead and make yourself comfortable.” You fluffed up his pillows as he sat at the edge of your bed, grabbing the remote as you walked over to Eddie’s side, “Here. Put on anything you want, i’m going to go downstairs really quick and make sure everything is locked up ok?”

Eddie nodded as he took the remote from you, closing his eyes gently as you pushed his hair back from his forehead and placed a gentle kiss onto the skin,

“I’ll be right back, but just in case, you call me if you need me ok?”

He nodded once more, the corners of his lips curling into a smile as he watched you leave the room. The quiet music and the sound of your fading footsteps somehow made him forget about the incident. Or at least forget as much of it as he could.

He kept his attention on the TV, listening to the music play to get his mind off of everything else that had happened that night. He didn’t know what he was going to do, but he knew that he couldn’t have you getting hurt because of him too.

He looked at the remote in his hands and fidgeted with the buttons for a moment, looking back up at the door as he heard you enter the upstairs hallway and close your bedroom door behind you.

“All locked up.” You said with a smile.

Eddie smiled back and took a deep breath as he set the remote onto the nightstand next to your bed.

“Want to keep the TV on?” You asked as another song started to play.

Drive by The Cars.

Eddie nodded and pulled the covers up over himself, settling into bed, yet keeping his eyes on you. He needed to make sure he had you in his sight, just in case. You reached out and turned off the light switch, the glow from the TV softly illuminating your room.

It was strange.

You’d dreamt of a moment like this before.

Eddie in bed with you, safe and comforted, though you never had imagined it would happen like this.

You slowly walked over to your side of the bed, lifting the covers and laying yourself next to Eddie as he sat with his back against the pillows resting on the headboard. He had been staring at nothing and yet he seemed like he had been seeing everything at once. Glazed over with both fear and exhaustion. All you wanted to do was help, Eddie knew that, but a situation like this was so hard to read.

“Hey,” You said softly up to him, his head turning to look down to you, “lay down. I want to talk to you for a second, ok?”

Eddie slowly moved his body downward, lifting the covers up as he adjusted himself next to you, trying so desperately to keep himself at a respectful distance. His face was close to yours, noses so close to touching, and you could feel the warmth of his body as it lay close. Even in times like this he still kept so warm.

“I’m scared too… I don’t know what it is that you saw, but i promise you that i’ll do everything i can to make sure you’re safe.”

“(y/n), you don’t have to do that-“

“I do.” You cut him off sternly, “Eddie, i love you. I care about you. The only other time you’ve ever come to my house freaked out was when Wayne caught you swapping out his vodka because you didn’t know alcohol froze.” Eddie smiled to himself as he remembered that night, knowing he fully deserved his punishment for doing something that stupid, “Whatever happened, i know you didn’t do it. I know you. Do you have anywhere else you can stay? Some place safer?”

Eddie thought to himself for a moment. He didn’t know. He had a million things racing through his head, before finally looking to you and nodding his head. You were unsure of his answer, but you didn’t want to keep prying.

“I don’t want to tell you what to do Eddie, but you really need to tell someone what happened.” You reached your hand up and gently held his cheek, and you could see that though he didn’t know what he needed, he needed you to be there with him, “I just want you to be ok…”

He could hear the cracking of your voice, knowing how hard you were trying to hold back your emotions, but it was terrifying. For him, for you, and for god knows who else this may have happened to.

Eddie reached up and grasped your hand in his, holding it tightly as he looked to your eyes,

“I promise i’ll be ok.”

You couldn’t tell if he meant it, but you nodded as you looked to him. He wanted to be ok, and you knew he could take care of himself, but when Eddie needed help you knew it was serious. You just hoped he’d be able to come out of this unharmed.

Eddie took a deep breath and moved his hand to the back of your head, raising his lips and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. His arms slowly wrapped around your body, pulling you in close, and as he moved himself closer to you it was clear he was starting to cry again. Softly. Quietly.

Your arms moved around him and held him tightly, one hand slowly moving through his hair as the other gently scratched over his shoulders to comfort him,

“Shh, it’s ok…” His quiet sobs and whimpers only made you hug him closer, “I’m right here with you, you’re safe, i promise…”

It would take a while before either of you would get any sleep, you figured as much when Eddie ran through your door and into your arms. He needed someone there and you were so happy to be the person he came to, wether you knew how to help him or not.

As you lay in each others arms, the slow song playing softly from the TV soon was able to lull you both to sleep.

Every now and then throughout the night, Eddie would wake up in a cold sweat, seeing the scene that had unfolded before his eyes earlier. He’d look around the room, see you sleeping so soundly in his arms, and he’d calm down.

He was safe where he was.

[little-diable]

Stressed - Carlisle Cullen (smut)

This idea was shared by an anon, thank you for this, lovie! Please like and reblog, if you enjoyed reading this. Enjoy my loves. xxx

Request: Being a nurse at the hospital and working really late one night (like way past the end of your shift), then Carlisle seeing how stressed you are and finding a way to help you... unwind in his office...

Warnings: 18+, smut, oral (f), praise kink, power play (?)

Pairing: Carlisle Cullen x fem!nurse!reader

The steady beat of her patient’s heart echoed through the night, forcing (y/n)’s tired eyes to keep on studying the woman. It had been hours since she had come out of surgery, and yet (y/n) didn’t dare leave her side, very well aware of the complications they had run into in the last few days. 

She was tired, working on caffeine and a bit of food, not nearly enough to keep her adrenaline levels high enough. And yet (y/n) didn’t have any reason to leave the Forks hospital, nobody was waiting for her at home, nothing but the daunting quietness of her apartment. 

With a sigh rumbling through her, (y/n) rose from the uncomfortable chair, desperate to pour some more coffee down her throat. Her eyes found her watch, reading 3:02 am – it had been months since she had last worked that late. And yet she was grateful for the quietness of the hospital, for the nurses that stuck to their own routine without interfering with (y/n)’s. 

The yawn clawing through (y/n) echoed through the empty break room, eyes momentarily fluttering close as the coffee machine prepared her drink. She didn’t hear the nearing steps, didn’t pick up on the figure nearing her sleepy self, too far gone, at least for a few moments. 

“(Y/n)?” Doctor Cullen’s voice rang in her ears, making her jump. Her wide eyes found his golden ones, not missing the smile tugging on his pale lips. “What are you doing here? You’re not working the night shift if I remember correctly.”

(Y/n) couldn’t focus on the fact that the handsome doctor she had been crushing on for months knew her schedule, couldn’t focus on the worried expression he wore. She stumbled over her words, cursing her tired self for the struggles she was now facing, unable to properly express herself. “I, uhm, I’m sorry, doctor, I didn’t want to leave my patient.” 

“Come, sit down for a moment. You know we have enough nurses working the night shift to take care of our patients, don’t you?” He softly spoke the words, wasn’t teasing her nor scolding her, voice dripping with worry. Heat shot through her as the doctor carefully touched the small of her back, guiding her to the chair. Doctor Cullen towered over her, staring down on her with the eyes she’d dream of late at night, wondering how a few hours alone with him would play out. 

“I know, it’s just,” the words were hanging in the air, sentences left unfinished, (y/n) couldn’t find a good enough reason, and yet she didn’t want to share her loneliness with the handsome man. Would he pity her? Make fun of her for preferring to stick around in the cold hospital rather than making it back home? 

“It’s alright, don’t worry, I understand it.” For a few seconds they were surrounded by silence, eyes taking in one another’s frame, unable to avert their gazes. She found him turning from her, eyes wandering over the plastic chairs, “You can lay down for a few in my office, my sofa is definitely more comfortable than those awful chairs.” 

Wordlessly she followed the doctor out of the room, not wanting to protest. She was too tired to listen to the warning bells going off, not wanting to overthink how they were probably breaking the workplace law they had to stick to. All (y/n) wanted to do was spend some more time with the man, not wanting to leave his side. 

The scent of his cologne crawled up her nostrils as she stepped into his office, heart almost instantly picking up its beat. She hadn’t been in here before, couldn’t help but take in her new surroundings. Bookshelves were gracing the walls, a big window gave off a gorgeous view of the nearby forest, an awfully comforting calmness lingered in the room she never wanted to leave again. 

“Here, sit, please.” Electricity shot through (y/n) as Carlisle grasped her hand, guiding her to the sofa. No longer was her tiredness clouding her mind, no longer was she scared of falling asleep any moment now, no, the simple touch had ripped her out of her state, growing tenser by the second. “It’s alright, you can relax, (y/n).” 

God, the way he spoke her name left her aching for more, desperate to hear him calling her name over and over again. Slowly his fingers danced up her arm, settling down next to her. For a few moments they didn’t speak, basking in one another’s closeness, and yet (y/n) felt the need to break from the silence, wanting to hear his soft voice again.

His hand settled on her shoulder, softly squeezing her skin in hopes of loosening the tight muscles. With her breath hitched in her chest, (y/n)’s eyes fluttered close, almost instinctively sinking further into his touch. A soft moan rumbled through (y/n), a sound her mind didn’t pay any attention to, while Carlisle clearly picked up on it, wondering if he should close the gap between them. 

With his hand finding her chin, tilting her head towards him, (y/n) felt herself trapped by him. There was no turning back, there never had been, not when it came to being close to the handsome doctor. He was like dark matter, something her brain couldn’t pick apart nor truly understand, and yet she found herself fascinated by him, by every part of him. 

“(Y/n),” Carlisle murmured her name, he wanted to give her one last chance to break from the moment, not wanting to pressure her, and yet all she did was lean closer, lips ghosting over his. He kissed her soft at first, allowing both of them to adjust to the new sensation; a sensation that grew more heated with every passing by moment. 

She found herself falling, but she didn’t want to be caught, she didn’t need the moment where she’d meet the rough surface to be comfortable, didn’t need to feel the warmth catching her shaking body. No, she needed the pain only he could inflict upon her. 

“Let me take care of you, love.” (Y/n) could only moan, gasping in surprise as he pressed her against the sofa, hovering over her. His mouth found its way back to her skin, kissing his way down her throat to suck on her sensitive spots. Carlisle clearly knew how to touch her, how to coax her soft moans from her, finding pride in the way she kept arching her back, needing to feel him close. “Such a pretty sight, fuck, can I take this off?” 

An eager nod followed his words, raising her back to help him tug her shirt off her head, bra following moments later. She barely got the time to catch her breath, his mouth found her nipples, sucking on them while his hands worked on her trousers, freeing her from the confines of her scrubs. (Y/n) was desperate for the doctor, dripping from her tightness; one could only hope that he’d take care of her like she needed him to. 

“Need to taste you, will you let me, (y/n)?” She needed a few moments to give the “Yes please” rolling off her tongue enough strength to echo through his office, allowing her eyes to flutter shut. Carlisle kissed his way down her upper body, pushing her panties aside to gain access to her core. An almost animalistic groan left the doctor at the sight, tongue brushing through her arousal-covered folds. “Fuck, you taste so sweet.”

She was a goner, no longer able to guide her body nor her emotions, fully his to toy with. Their eyes met as Carlisle licked through her slit again, collecting more of her arousal with every movement. “Tell me what you need, love.” 

“Your fingers, please, fuck me with them.” Carlisle’s fingers found her entrance, spitting on them before he pushed into her. She eagerly took his digits, squeezing them as he curled them against her swollen spot. It wouldn’t take long for her to give in, and yet (y/n) could only pray that the moment would never end. 

“Taking me so well, such a good girl.” His tongue found her clit, teasing the sensitive bundle of nerves as his fingers picked up their pace, fucking her further towards her release. Her hips kept jerking, unable to hold still as the burning sensation deep inside of her grew stronger with every movement of his. She was close, ready to let go with his name rolling off her tongue. 

And he was right there to catch her, to cradle her in his arms with comforting words leaving him. One by one uncovering her every worry. 

“Cum for me, love, I got you.” (Y/n) came with a moan, eyes squeezed shut and head thrown back. Carlisle’s tongue kept teasing her clit, fingers fucking her through her high, fully mesmerized by the sight in front of him. Fuck, she was a masterpiece one would need to study long enough to fully understand, to uncover the layers, the colours creating the piece of creation he’d forever cherish. 

“Fuck, that was nice.” Her words drew a few chuckles from Carlisle, slowly letting go of (y/n) to give her enough room to sit up. She was panting, chest rising and falling with every shaking breath inhaled into her aching lugs. And for a few moments all they did was look at one another, till they found back together, sharing yet another heated kiss.

[explosionkatsu]

Mistake

Bakugou x Reader

I couldn't be happier after seeing the 400+ followers. I didn't expect this to happen honestly. I would like to thank you all for your appreciation and for showing your support on my work. In return, I made this all for you! ❤️

You thought you got over it after the therapy sessions you’ve been through. You tried to get a new hobby knowing that you're training to be a hero. You tried to be healthy as much. You exercise every morning, bond with your friends by the afternoon, and even volunteer to make dinner just to prevent yourself from being lonely.

Maybe you got over it because when Katsuki asked you out on a date, you were in heaven. You felt happy, content, and loved.

But why does it come back out of nowhere? No. It's not out of nowhere. It came back because you had your first big fight with your lover.

You remembered standing up to him about your 1st Anniversary as lovers but he was too immersed in training with the others so he rebutted that he didn't. But you caught a glimpse of how he darts his eyes away from you and it shatters your heart. What did you do? You unhurriedly turn your back on him knowing he won't admit it.

Tears are flooding your eyes and gradually running down your cheeks and way to your chin as you stride up the stairs towards your dormitory. You didn't even glance behind you scared to see his reaction.

It’s been hours since you confronted Katsuki about it. Sleep couldn't just visit you tonight because of the ache. Overthinking is flooding your mind once again.

What if he doesn’t care anymore? What if he thinks you're a burden to him? What if he left you? What if he doesn't love you anymore? So many what-ifs and it's just summing up the ache you are currently experiencing.

It's been days since you both talked. But none of you dare to step in and apologize. Well, not exactly.

Katsuki knew his mistake. He was even pissed at himself for denying it, heck, for failing to remember it! He thought you’ll get over it, knock on his door. That was his plan. Wait for you to come so he can apologize. But you didn't. He even starts noticing how you skipped your meals. When in class, you weren't listening like you usually do and you’re not lingering in the hallway for him by the end of the class.

But Katsuki had enough. Enough is enough.

Katsuki waited for everyone to go to their own room. Once again, you skipped your meal. Although, he saw you earlier and took a glass of water before disappearing again. At least you're keeping yourself hydrated.

So when the common room was finally empty, Katsuki went to the kitchen and prepare your meal. He was desperate to fix his mistakes. If he has to apologize to you every single day, he will.

After he finished cooking, he headed to your room holding up a tray with your food on it. Carefully balancing the tray on his other hand, Katsuki gently knocked on your door. He couldn't hear you getting up from your bed or even walking. But the jiggle of the doorknob was enough to let him know you're still awake.

Your appearance breaks his heart. He can see your under-eye reddish and darkened. It appears like you just finished crying because of how puffy your eyes were. Your hair was everywhere.

He caused this. He is to blame for this.

Katsuki stood there staring at you. He felt his lips dry up. But no matter what you look like, you will always be the most beautiful lady he had ever laid his eyes on.

“May I come in?” His voice came out soft but in a whisper.

You thought for a moment before tugging your door wide enough for Katsuki to come in.

As soon as he did, Katsuki looked around. You were never messy. He can see the crumpled tissues beside your bed. After scanning your room, he placed the tray on your desk where he saw the now-empty glass with a couple of medicines beside it. He got confused so he brought it close to his face to read the writing.

Antidepressant

“Why are you drinking these?” Katsuki curiously looked at you.

You were at the doorway after closing the door behind you, leaning against the wall when he came in. You even watched him examine your room.

“It's nothing.” You said, almost whispering it.

“I said. Why are you drinking this?” Katsuki repeated as gently as he could before slowly stepping closer to you.

Too tired to argue with him, you mentioned how you suffer severe depression before you met him. How you went through with it, all the therapy, and medicines you had to take.

Katsuki listens to you intently. He sees the sadness in your eyes as you mention how you suffer from the past. So while you were still talking, he dropped the medicine and embrace you tightly.

Of course, it caught you by surprise. But in the end, you embrace him back with tears in your eyes.

“I don’t want to feel this ache anymore. I’m tired of it, Katsuki.” You hiccupped.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m really sorry. I should've known. I shouldn't have forgotten our anniversary. I should've apologized to you sooner.” Katsuki said. He slowly pulls himself back and cuffed your tear-soaked cheek to his palm.

Seeing you cry because of him breaks him. So tonight, he decided to stay in your room and comfort you as much as you want.

“I love you, Y/n.” He said before slowly pulling you in a passionate kiss.

Maybe it's how he made you feel you're loved because as soon as he placed his lips against yours softly, you shut your eyes closed letting a tear roll down and wrapping your arms around his neck bringing him closer to you as much as possible.

Both your lips moved in sync with so much passion.

Katsuki then moved his palm from your cheek, down to your jaw, caressing it with his thumb while his arms snaked around your waist.

Finally, you pulled away eyes slowly opening. You saw his eyes staring down at you lovingly.

“This is the last time I’ll make you feel this way, baby,” Katsuki said placing a kiss on your forehead. “I promise.”

You only nod in response.

“Come. You should eat. I’ve never seen you eat anything.”

After feeding you the now cold meal, you both sat on your bed, a blanket coating half of your body.

You stayed in his arms which Katsuki doesn't mind. All he has in his mind now is to make up for his mistake and never hurt you.

Ever.

[vickiee-mcmuffin]

A helping hand

Word count: 1.1k

Pairing: Stephen Strange x Female Reader

Trope: Fluff

A/N: This is another idea that suddenly came to me. I had a little thought and wondered if Stephen had ever silently cried because the pain in his hands was unbearable. So here's a little fic about it.

Summary: You are awoken by the soft sound of someone crying, and you realise Stephen is in pain.

You had been sleeping peacefully, wrapped up in Stephen’s arms, your head resting on his chest. But you were soon disrupted from your sleep when you were certain you heard the soft sound of someone crying. You opened your eyes, adjusting to the darkness around you as you lay there still, trying to listen for the noise again.

But there was nothing but silence, and you just thought to yourself that you were hearing things. You closed your eyes, ready to go back to sleep, but that’s when you heard the noise again. This time it was much clearer and you knew someone had to be crying, and if it wasn’t you, there was only one other person in the room who it could possibly be. 

Stephen.

Was Stephen crying? You hoped he wasn’t seriously hurt.

Desperate to find out if Stephen was okay, you moved, shifting so you could look up at him. 

“Stephen?” you whispered. “Are you okay?”

You heard Stephen sniffle before he moved his arm to wipe at his nose. “I’m okay,” Stephen told you in a soft voice, and you knew he wasn’t okay just by hearing his voice. 

You moved, leaning over Stephen to turn on the bedside light, your eyes squinting as the light hit your face. You quickly turned your attention back to Stephen, looking at him with sad eyes as soon as you saw his face. His cheeks were stained with tears, and his eyes were swollen, evidence he had been crying. 

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” you asked in a sad voice. You hated to see Stephen cry, the sight breaking your heart. 

“I don’t want to bother you with my problems, Y/N.” 

You took Stephen’s face in your hands, staring at him sweetly before you gave his lips a soft kiss. “You can never bother me, Stephen. I’m always here for you. Please tell me.” 

But Stephen kept his lips pressed tightly together as more silent tears fell from his eyes. You sent him a sad smile before using your thumb to wipe away his tears. 

“Did something happen at Kamar Taj?” you wondered, but Stephen shook his head at you, leaving you to guess what could be bothering him. “Is it your hands? Are they hurting?” You knew Stephen’s hands did hurt most of the time, the pain being so severe sometimes that he wouldn't be able to pick anything up. 

This time Stephen nodded at you, and you sent him a sweet smile. “Do you want me to massage your hands?” you suggested. 

“Are you sure? It’s late and I know you have to be up in the morning for work,” Stephen said, worried his problems would make you late. 

You sent Stephen another smile. “You’re more important to me than my job. So yes, I’m sure.” 

Your heart soared when Stephen sent you a teary smile. “Thank you, sweetheart.” 

You then moved, pulling back the covers and getting out of bed. Once Stephen was up on his feet, you grabbed one of his scarred hands gently, noticing the tremble in his hand as you led him over to the bathroom. You turned on the light before quickly moving over to the sink. 

You grabbed the plug and placed it in the sink before filling it up with warm water. Once the sink was full, you grabbed Stephen’s hands, placing them into the warm water softly. You heard Stephen groan when his hands made contact with the water, the sound deep and loud. 

You then placed one of your own hands in the water to grab at Stephen’s. You worked on one hand at a time, gently massaging them and tracing each and every scar, being oh so careful not to hurt him. This wasn’t the first time you had given him a massage to help with the pain in his hands, but you made sure to work on his hands gently and carefully every time, watching his face for any signs of pain. 

After leaving his hands to soak for a good five minutes, you gently removed them and dried them off with a towel. You then grabbed the almost empty bottle of massage oil and poured the remainder onto your hand. You then rubbed your hands together before grabbing one of Stephen’s hands again. 

You worked on each hand gingerly, and you noticed how the tremble you had felt earlier had settled a little. You hoped the pain had too. 

“How are you feeling?” you asked Stephen as you continued working on his hands. 

“So much better. The pain isn’t as severe anymore,” Stephen confessed, and that made you smile. 

“I’m glad to hear that.”

You were just finishing up on Stephen’s left hand, gently massaging at his fingers, and that’s when Stephen spoke up again. 

“Thank you for always doing this, Y/N. For always putting up with me and my hands.” 

You looked up at him and smiled. “You don’t need to thank me, Stephen. You know how much I love you and how much I love taking care of you and your hands.”

Your words seemed to get to Stephen because you watched as his face changed, tears filling his eyes again. This time not because he was in pain, but because he never thought he could get this lucky. 

“I love you so much. How did I get this lucky finding you?” he smiled, his eyes glossy with tears. 

You felt your own eyes well up with tears. You let go of Stephen’s hand and stood on your tiptoes, kissing him softly and sweetly. 

“I love you, too. So much,” you told him after pulling away from his lips. “I think I’m the lucky one.” 

Stephen let out a laugh, the sound echoing throughout the tiny bathroom before he kissed you. You stood there kissing for a good five minutes before Stephen pulled away, letting out a yawn. 

“I think we should get back to bed,” Stephen smiled and you nodded at the idea. 

“Agreed.” 

You emptied the sink and turned off the bathroom light before returning to your bed. You let Stephen get comfortable first before you jumped back into bed. You reached over and turned off the bedside light. You then moved, cuddling up to Stephen as you felt one of his strong arms wrapping around you. 

“Goodnight, Stephen,” you whispered, shutting your eyes, ready to let sleep take over. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” Stephen replied, placing a gentle kiss on your hair. 

Stephen fell asleep first, the soft sound of his snores filling the bedroom. You smiled, happy that Stephen had managed to fall asleep again so quickly after he had been in pain earlier. You hoped the pain wouldn’t come back again anytime soon. 

You then found yourself falling asleep in Stephen’s arms soon after, glad you had managed to help him feel better.

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[star-girl69]

My Heart Never Knows

Jake Sully x Neytiri x Fem!Reader

—-

a/n: i hope you all enjoy!!

warnings: swearing, blood, gore, death, battle, injury, tell me if i missed anything!!

Chapter Twenty Three- Belonging

—-

“You must learn to fight.”

Maybe you knew Ronal’s words would come, but you still did not want to hear them. It’s not that you were against learning the art of the spear, the bow, anything- it’s just you simply weren’t good at it.

You had tried to be a warrior, many years ago, a phase of something to get your mother’s attention, but you simply weren’t good at it.

Maybe you just didn’t put your heart into it, knew somewhere deep down it wasn’t your calling.

“I don’t want to,” you say carefully, looking at your sister over your shoulder. She sighs, let’s you turn back to the fruit you are cutting.

“It is not a matter of want. Mother and Father are dead. You have no mate. And what if Tonowari or I cannot be there to protect you? You don’t need to be a warrior. You just need to be able to defend yourself.”

“Ronal,” you sigh, setting down your knife-

“No. Listen to me.” She spins you around, nails digging into your biceps. Not enough to hurt, but enough to force you to listen. “Please. I want- I need you to be safe. Just- just learn how to throw a spear, at the least.”

You look up from her necklace to her eyes.

“Fine,” you whisper, and her face breaks out into a smile.

—-

Something else takes over your body, action and reaction, your ribs, a different part of your head.

The ship is slippery when you climb onto it, and if you’re silent, you can hear the sound of something in the air- hidden by the darkness. The only light is from the burning fires, the only sounds from the humans and the dreamwalkers.

You swear if you were to place your hand to your chest- you wouldn’t even feel your heartbeat. The silence takes up the entire ship, the fear in your bones igniting and fading, your own small war in your body to simply keep your head.

A spear lies next to you, lodged into the metal of the ship, and you grab it quick, leaving no room for hesitation, any second guesses.

You can only rely on your hands, your instinct. See this, do that, keep yourself alive for another second to face the next threat.

You feel like air floating, silent and focused, fueled only by something under your ribs and a need to save your children. Because that’s what a mother does, and you are a mother. Lo’ak called you it- Tuk does. You must be some sort of a mother then, right?

A few more steps, you think to yourself, until you reach the main deck of the ship, until you can find Jake and Neytiri, fight for your children.

“Ah!” you yelp, kicking and screaming as a hand is placed over your mouth and you are dragged under a curve of the ship.

A hand wraps around your waist, pulling you flush to someone’s chest, until someone’s head is pressed to your own and lips are at your ear.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

You let out a sigh and sag against him, and he waits another second, muscles tensing around you, before he takes his hand off of your mouth with a hiss.

“My Jake,” you whisper, reaching behind you to place a hand on his cheek.

His hand rests over the bandages wrapped around your side, and his body is tense against yours.

“What,” he breathes, “are you doing here?”

“Helping,” you say, and he grabs the hand you have pressed against your face. Your swear his lips press against it- but you can feel how mad he is, so you must be imagining it. “They’re my daughters too, Jake.”

He grunts and spins you around, and you catch a glimpse of Spider off to the side, looking out over the edge to the deck of the ship.

Your eyes meet his, but he holds nothing tender for you, only anger, only worry.

“You’re hurt.” His hand presses against your wound again, enough for you to really feel it, enough for you to wince. His face falls. “Shit. I- I’m sorry, baby. But you- you can’t-”

“They’re my daughters too.”

His eyes search yours, before he ends it, shaking his head.

“Yeah. Yeah, of course they are. No one’s questioning that. But you want to save them- it will hurt them just as much if you’re dead. It’ll ruin them. Destroy them. You’re so fucking-” he cuts himself off, shaking his head with a smile. “Precious. You know? Like treasure or some shit.”

But he is not talking about the girls anymore.

“Jake,” you whisper, trying to sound comforting, but only a plea manages to come out. A plea to let you help, let you be a mother. “It was only a graze, my love, please,”

He shakes his head again, finally letting go and taking a step back. Although you mourn his loss, you know what his actions mean.

“What?” you breathe, disbelieving, tears in your throat again.

“I can’t let you get hurt. The rest of this family is falling apart, babygirl, and I’m trying to repair this family, this fucking fortress. I won’t tear it down more in the process.”

But your ribs ache again, and you think of them, so you tuck your ears in and hiss at him. He flinches, but takes it. Takes it like a solider.

But you don’t need a solider- not right now. Right now, you need your husband, your love. You need the Jake you know is in there.

You see he won’t come out-

“I don’t need your permission.” You tighten your grip on your spear, turn to walk away from him, do this on your own.

“Fuck, fuck,” he mutters as you turn, and you take one step, two steps-

A hand on your wrist.

“Fine. Fuck, fine. I have a plan. And when I tell you to go- you finish what you’re doing and you run, you hide, you get the fuck out. And you stay close to me.”

You let your eyes trail up his figure, legs to head to arms to his hand on you. You see the man you mated with. You See the man you mated with.

“I See you, Jake Sully.”

His gaze softens. “I See you too, my Y/N.”

—-

“Stay here,” he whispers once more, eyes switching between you and Spider. You send a look to the human next to you, and you almost want to protest, but then you see the small device in his hands.

His eyes meet yours. He nods, holds the small object tighter, before he climbs out of your hiding place and onto the deck.

Each second is torture, watching his figure climb, until he becomes one with the darkness.

One moment, two, until he emerges again-

“Get down!” he shouts, sliding down the metal next to you and Spider.

You barely have a second to breathe, let alone get down, until the human boy is suddenly throwing his arm around you- and the force of his fall makes you fall as well.

A blast rocks the ship, fire exploding into the night, the light swallowing the darkness, igniting everything in a bright yellow tint. Ears ring and ribs ache, before the initial shock is gone and Jake is tugging you up.

“Are you okay? Are you okay?!”

“Yes,” you whisper, pushing everything down.

Strong heart, that’s what Jake had said to Neytiri. What Neytiri had said to Jake before you even knew they existed.

You feel your heart becoming strong now, you feel your heart knowing-

You lean down, wrap your hands tight around your spear.

Jake watches you as you saunter forward, hips swaying in a deadly dance, a deadly promise.

Screams fill the ship, but it is nothing compared to the sound of your roaring heart, blood in your ears.

Jake nods to you, hand on your shoulder, before he grabs his own spear and climbs and jumps.

And your heart knows, and you follow.

—-

Jake already took out the two men closest, and you see him duck behind a fallen helicopter, gunfire drawn on him.

But the dreamwalker firing doesn’t see you.

Your spear soars through the air, loud enough for her to hear, but quick enough to allow only a moment on realization- before it sinks into her chest like feet sinking into sand. You can’t find it in yourself to feel any remorse.

One moment of victory-

Neytiri lands on her ikran, somersaulting into a standing position, arrow already drawn and sinking into the man a few feet in front of you.

You run forward, pulling your spear from the Avatar’s body, Neytiri’s arrows flying through the air, your spear swinging out, carving a large gash into a humans stomach, his hand still on the trigger of the gun he would have shot you with.

Neytiri grabs her arrow from another fallen Avatar, Jake covering you, before she turns to you.

She hisses, and words are on your lips.

“My Y/N!”

An arrow shooting past you, time moving so fast, so quick, staccato, how far away is the fire? How far away is your death?

You gasp as you turn, seeing a man fall to his knees behind you, shooting bullets into the floor as he falls.

“Down!” Jake shouts, jumping over the edge, Neytiri following him, and your heart knows, your heart really does know, and you’re following.

Following them to death is nothing, right?

You have faith in your heart, in Eywa. You know you would be safe in the Great Mother’s heart, and soon you wouldn’t be alone.

You barely manage to slide down, hide behind a piece of something, before bullets rain down on you, sinking into the metal behind you.

Neytiri jumps from one cover to the next, shooting and arrow midair with a grunt. You take a deep breath, watch as they circle around her cover.

“Who’s got eyes?”

“Anyone got eyes?”

She jumps from over them just as you find a target, your spear releasing and her arrow releasing at the same time. They both meet their targets, and she finishes an Avatar off with her bow, letting you run forward, and arrow shooting past, you spear flying again as soon as you grab it.

You join her in her cover, spear too far away, and she breathes heavily next to you, roughly ripping one her arrows out from her satchel and giving it to you.

It is different from a spear, but it will still work. It will still kill.

Gunfire from Jake takes care of the human close to your cover, letting the two of you emerge.

Running and practically punching on the Avatar before you, arrow sinking into the back of his neck, blood spurting from the wound like some sick joke of a firework.

You roll to the dead body where your spear lies, just a Jake throws a human into another Avatar, gun at the ready- but it clicks, empty.

You mumble his name, and he runs into cover, leaving you to stay close to the floor, using the shadows.

Gunfire follow his movements, and he throws his useless gun into a human, and you throw your spear at the chest of one wrapped in metal.

Jake fights off the next one, pushing him into the open bowels of the ship.

You lean against a piece of metal, breathing heavily as you look over your spear, making sure it’s not broken. Making sure it can still kill.

Neytiri in the corner of your eye, ripping an arrow from a dead body.

“Neytiri!” you shout, an Avatar rising, gun in his hands, but Jake fights him off with nothing but a hatchet, not letting you or Neytiri help him.

“My Jake!” she shouts, and tears fill your eyes. Caused by the smoke of the fire, by the prospect of losing them.

Neytiri turns, as you stand with your arm tense and pulled back, releasing her arrow into a far off human.

You breathe heavily, waiting for an opening, but the fight it too chaotic, and you can barely even tell who is who in the darkness.

Finally, with one grunt, Jake throws him off of the ship.

You breathe out, arm aching from fighting, sweat pouring over you, legs tired and achy.

Jake’s eyes meet yours, and you have to lean against something, the blood loss too much, the fight too much.

“My Jake-” you say, eyes flicking between him and where Tuk and Kiri are. You had caught a glimpse of them earlier- but the battle was moving too fast.

Jake nods, grip on his knife tight, and you follow him with your spear, eyes wide.

When you see Tuk, you have to bite back at something under your ribs, and her eyes light up, and she tries to shuffle towards you.

“Daddy, Mama,” she whispers.

“Shh, Tuk,” you whisper as Jake cuts her binds, and she stands with a wince.

“Where’s your sister? Where is she? Where is she?” Jake asks as you place a hand on her shoulder, pulling her back against you. Your head searches the space- but Kiri is gone.

“That way,” Tuk whispers, and you follow the turn of her head. “Mama,” she whispers, and you shush her again, grabbing her hand and squeezing tight.

Jake follows the direction she said, cautious and in front of the two of you, ready to protect.

You see him stop, see his ears twitch-

“Kiri!” you gasp, watching as Quaritch walks out from behind a wall, Kiri in his arms and a knife to her throat.

“Kiri! Kiri!” Tuk calls, and you feel a tear fall down your face as she hugs your leg.

Jake grunts, placing a hand over your chest as you try to go forward, delirious and adrenaline falling off, pain in your veins. Your heart doesn’t know, and your ribs ache but there’s nothing to draw from anymore.

You just want your family back together. You just want the arms of your mates, the voices of your children.

“Running out of time here, Corporal,” he says. So casual, so nonchalant, as if he does not hold a piece of your world under his knife.

The water laps against the ship, slowing rising, slowing bringing death.

Quaritch nods towards you. “Your girl already got hurt tonight. Don’t make me hurt another.”

Jake hisses and jumps forward, but Quaritch presses the knife closer and Kiri groans, so he jumps back. Tuk digs her nails into your leg, and your spear is lose in your grip. You know you can’t get a good shot- he would see you, he would have enough time to move, enough time to use Kiri as a shield.

Your stomach rolls at the thought.

“Just kill him, Dad!” Kiri screams, before the knife jerks again.

“No,” you whisper, wanting to take a step forward, but Jake’s hand keeps you in place. “No, no, please, my baby,”

“Put your weapons down,” he hisses.

“Don’t do it!”

But Jake ignores Kiri’s cries, and you follow him, kicking it away after he does.

Quaritch throws an orange band to him.

“Cuff yourself,” he hisses.

“No!” Spider shouts, emerging from somewhere. “No. Don’t hurt her, okay? Don’t!”

“Stay there!” Quaritch orders, and Spider stops in his tracks. “Don’t move! Not a step closer! Cuffs! On, now!”

He is overtaken by it, his need for revenge, it’s written all over his face. His insanity, his lack of emotions. You cannot even fathom how someone gets to be like this.

“You son of a bitch,” Jake says, but there’s resignation in his voice, and you need to scream. Jake cannot leave you, Kiri cannot. You have been floating for too long and this family has saved you, your family saved you.

He leans down, grabbing the orange band.

“Jake, Jake,” you hear yourself saying, but you are out of your body. Unreal and metaphysical. Floating above. “Jake!”

Until Neytiri comes from the darkness, looking as if she has tied death to a leash and it now follows her. It is now under her command, and she controls who dies on this ship.

You can barely blink- she isn’t there and then she is, hand is Spider’s hair, knife at his throat.

“Release,” she hisses, “or I cut.”

—-

taglist:

@sully-stick-together @corrupt-cadaver420 @jadynchronicle @imthefunniestpersonalive @fangil101 @mashiromochi @rey26 @soothinghummerz @myheartfollower @pwallettes @melodykisses @ghoulbli @fanboyluvr @itsyaspwr @khaleesihavilliard @capbrie @nothingfuninthislife @faceaeter @thetrashindrakensroom @makeup-stuff-and-such @my-dearest-agent @miyamuraaaa @xoxovienna @arschbohrer @amazingaries @ssc7514 @milf-lover-23 @w3ird11 @littlexscarletxwitch @tiajk @kuldren @blackgirlwriting @tojigirl @trulyrogers @aeslenya @3okutos-3ig-toe @peterparkeeperer @ambria @homeispandora @hxgemxscles @ripnevillestrevor @amiets2 @reallysparklychaos @ok-boke @dumb-fawkin-bitch @nerd-squad-headquarters @abaker74 @ara-a-bird @queenzeemelanin092201-blog @marvelsimps @marydragneell @lola-bunn1 @erenjaegerwifee @blackgaladriel @vane28282 @eternallyvenus @aerangi @alwaysinwritersblock @minkyungseokie @luvlykrispy @ivyplays @slutforspacelatinos @tejas-kris

[dearmantis]

Heart to Heart

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/The Darkling x sick!Reader

Summary: Your weak heart has kept you up all night once more and Aleksander is forced to face the fact that the person he loves is still mortal.

Warnings: sick and insecure (and slightly self-sacrificing) reader, conversations about death, the rest is just fluff, I think

Word Count: 1.5k

Authors note: I'm still alive. I'm sorry for taking such a long break without explaining why. I didn't really go online at all for a month because some things came up at the end of december that didn't really leave me alone until very recently. I'll try my best to not repeat this and start working my way through my missed notifications soon.

I'm not a native English speaker, and this isn't really edited at all. The title is from Heart to Heart by Mac DeMarco

When Aleksander wakes in the morning the first thing he notices, before he even fully realizes that he is awake and has to get up, is that he is alone.

Your side of the bed is cold and he curses quietly, fully aware of what this means. He can feel his heart rate shoot up, adrenaline rushing through his body as his thoughts take the worst turn. Quickly standing up he gets dressed for the day, trying his hardest to calm his mind. You're alright. Someone would've notified him if something bad had happened while he was asleep. One of his guards would've woken him up.

He knows this like the back of his hand, yet he pauses as soon as his hand wraps around the cold metal knob of the door that leads into the living room of your shared quarters. His mind is trying to prepare him for the worst. Prepare him to find your dead body curled in on itself on the sofa in front of a cold fireplace, all alone.

He has always hated this habit of yours. This obsession with keeping his day as peaceful as possible, of never bothering him with anything, has led to you refusing to tell him when something is wrong. You've been sick for almost your whole life, your heart a bit weaker than it should be, and every time you have issues with it during the night you leave your shared bed to hide away in a different room to make sure you won't disturb his sleep.

Many times has he asked you to stop, to wake him up so he can help make you more comfortable or call a heartrender to help you in case something is seriously wrong, but you just won't listen. You're trying to protect him from the pain of seeing you suffer, he understands that, but it makes no sense to him. Why are you, a mortal little otkazat'sya, so obsessed with protecting him, an ancient being who most people would argue has lost his humanity centuries ago if they truly knew him as a person?

Most... except you. You have found out about his true nature, about the darkness sleeping in his chest in the place where his soul should sit, and decided that he was worth loving. You saw and embraced all of him, the beautiful and kind, but also the cruel and ugly.

You. A small, mortal otkazat'sya with a sick heart.

The closest thing to a soulmate he thinks he will ever get.

With a last deep breath he finally opens the door and lets his eyes glide through the room, and he can feel his heart jump when he finds you carefully sipping on a cup of tea while sitting in front of a warm, burning fire, gaze focused on the snow silently falling outside.

Your head turns when you hear the door open, eyes lighting up when you see your husband.

"Oh, I'm glad to see you're awake. I sorted your folder for the meeting with the king and his advisors today. I hope I didn't mess up one of your weird sorting system though. I know you have your own way of doing things, but I thought this could-"

Your voice cuts off as soon as he reaches you on the sofa, quickly kneeling down in front of you before pressing his head against your chest. He knows your heart is beating, but he has to hear it right now. Has to hear the soft, familiar rhythm to calm his own heart and reassure him that this is all real, that he isn't dreaming.

You don't continue speaking after the surprise of his sudden movement dies down, instead mowing your hands up to run softly over his head while he listens to your heart pump blood through your body.

It still speeds up when he's close. You're glad it does.

You sit like this for a while, your fingers carefully moving to comb through his thick, ink black hair and loosening any knots that may have formed while he slept alone.

"I told you to stop disappearing." You finally hear him whisper after a few quiet minutes, arms still wrapped tightly around your middle while his head stays pressed against your chest.

"I know, Sasha... but it just wouldn't stop. I wanted to stay with you, but the pain wouldn't go away. I couldn't breathe right because of my own fear, so I kept coughing and it was so loud. I didn't want to wake you in the night before your meeting. I promise, if I felt like things were going to end last night, I would've woken you up."

You can feel the way his arms clench around you. You know how much he hates thinking about your death, how helpless and weak the simple fact that you will die makes him feel.

"Stop talking about it. It won't happen."

"Sasha, please, I know you don't want to think about losing me, but we have to make plans for-"

"No. I've created the fold, milaya. I will not let you die. I won't let it happen, even if I have to break the laws of nature once more. I will not let you leave this world without me. I refuse to lose another person. I can't be alone again, can't lose you too. I will not watch as the universe takes another person from me and leaves me alone to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. Not again. I can't do it again. You can't ask me to. You can't."

"I don't care about the king and I don't care about my rest." He hisses before finally lifting his ear from your chest, dark eyes looking up at you. "And I'm starting to hate your heart for keeping you up at night, for hurting you like this."

A soft smile finds its way onto your lips as you map out every freckle on his skin, every small wrinkle and every pore on his eternally beautiful face.

He never says it out loud but it's clear that it frustrates him more than anything that he can't fight the thing that is harming you. There is no enemy to slay, to throat to slit, no king to overthrow. He can't rip your heart out of your body and give you a painless, happy life that way. All he can do is hope that the medicine prescribed to you by the best doctors he can pay for will help and that the corporalki order will keep an eye on you.

This is entirely out of his control, and it's probably the worst feeling in the world for him.

"Hey, this heart is filled to the brim with love for you, don't be mean." You chastise playfully, grinning when you see Aleksander roll his eyes before moving to sit next to you on the couch. Leaning your head against his shoulder, you breathe in his familiar smell and let it soothe your soul. He still smells a bit like the soap the servants use to clean your bedsheets, with an underlying sweetness that comforts you like nothing else ever could. He smells like home, like belonging.

"I need you to swear that you will get me no matter what is wrong. Even if it's just a weird feeling in your chest, you need to wake me or come to me, please. That's all I ask of you, my love. All I want. I can't do my job as your husband and make you feel better if I don't know that something is wrong."

You think about it for a few seconds, mind replaying every other time you've had this conversation with him. This time is different though. He's not mad or upset, there are no tears in his eyes, he isn't even shaking. He just sounds calm, with a hint of pain in his voice, as if an old wound is giving him issues again.

Slowly you nod, arms wrapping around him as you snuggle closer to him.

"I promise I'll wake you Aleksander. I swear it. No matter what it is. I will wake you up or go find you."

Looking up at him you see the way his eyes shine at your words before he leans down and presses a soft kiss on your lips, movements careful as if he thinks you might break if he kisses you too forcefully. The only thought you have is how much you don't want to lose this. How much you want to stay with your husband.

You've accepted that you will die early years ago. Born into a simple family, you had no chance to truly survive long. You've already made it further than you should've. But being with Aleksander has made you greedy, his own ambition leading you to play with your own what-if scenarios. He convinced you to start dreaming again.

And the only dream you have is one of a world where you will never have to leave him behind, even if that means breaking the laws of nature.

Taglist: @snowkestrel

[itjazzbicch]

2 A.M.

Pairing:  Soft/Upset!Ichigo Kurosaki x Reader 

First time writing for Ichigo so I hope I did well! 

Summary: After saying some hurtful words during the heat of a battle, the reader and Ichigo's friendship is clearly affected by this, not seeing each other for days, when randomly, Ichigo come to talk in the middle of the night...

Warnings:  None! Just fluff

Word Count: 0.9k 

The rain in the night fell like sad tears, hearing the drops even while in the shower. Dead in the night, only the sound of water falling as I stood there, subconsciously washing away the soap that covered my body while I relived a painful memory in my head:

"You're just not strong, Y/N!"

"You're only in my way, so just disappear!"

I understood that everything Ichigo, our friends, and myself had been facing, Aizen and the Arrancars, was a matter of life or death, but all I wanted to do was use my powers to help.

I wasn't sure what the source of my power was, but I was no weakling and surely not a coward. Ichigo's strength was admirable. All of us looked at him as a ray of hope.

All I wanted was to help him, so he didn't have to carry such a heavy burden on his own, and that's what he screamed at me.

I haven't seen Ichigo since that day and they may have been just words, but they hurt my heart as if I could feel my heart-breaking piece by piece when those words replayed in my head.

Even after turning off the shower, water droplets were slowly falling on my feet. They were tears. No matter how hard I tried not to think about it, it was the only thing I could think about.

Like a zombie, I dried off and dressed for bed, tossing my towel into the hamper, making my way to my bed, and fixing my pillow. I was bound to have another restless night, wrapping myself with a blanket before I went to lay down and there were knocks on my door.

It was 2 a.m. Far too late for any guests to come, let alone on a rainy night.

With my luck, it'd be Chad or Uryu, wanting to go kill some hollows, but when I opened the door just enough to look with one eye, that bright, orange hair was my first sight, then Ichigo's big, brown eyes.

"Hey, Y/N," He only whispered, some pain in his voice as he spoke, but asked politely, "I know it's pretty late, but I can't sleep, and I need to talk to you. Can I come in?"

I only nodded, leaving the door open for him to enter, scooting my feet back into my room, laying on my side with my back facing him as he followed.

"What do you want to talk about?" I sighed, curling up into my blanket.

He wasn't responding which only made me anxious, my heart racing, mixing with confusion as I felt his body weighing onto my bed, pupils expanding when his arms wrapped me into a tight embrace, able to hear the shakiness in his voice as he whispered:

"I'm sorry. For what I said. For everything."

I truly didn't know what to say, letting him allow his own emotions to be set free as his hold around me tightened, shaking slightly, even sniffling as he continued:

"I just-; I was so scared of losing you. I just didn't want you to get hurt. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you. It would be all my fault."

"Ichigo," I cooed softly, understanding where he was coming from, rolling carefully to face him, "I know that you don't want anyone, let alone the people you care about, to get hurt. Trust me, I get that because I'm the same way. But-"

Lifting his head, moonlight shimmering past his teary eyes, I had to look him in the eye, to make sure he knew:

"You don't have to do all of this alone."

Tears began rolling down his cheek as he listened to what I had to say, wiping it away and assuring him:

"I know you're strong. Stronger than anyone that I know. Sometimes, strong people need help too and there's nothing wrong with that."

As a response, all he could do was hug me, hugging me so tight and I made sure to return it. His words from before hurt, but I knew now, that he didn't mean it. I'd never even seen him cry before, so that showed how serious he was. All he wanted was to make sure I didn't get hurt by those Arrancars.

"Even by chance, if something did happen to me, that's alright, Ichigo," I whispered with my voice beginning to crack, meaning with all my heart, "You fight with your all to protect all of us. I'd do the same for you. Even if I died doing it. As long as you're okay, I'd die happy."

Now, we were both crying silently, clinging to each other and showing how we felt the same, eyes shut tight till I felt him pick up his head, hand holding my face.

His eyes were still closed, both lungs and brain not working when his lips came to mine, my own eyes closing tight to shake off the disbelief, pressing my lips a bit harder to feel how real this was, not showing it, but desperate for air when our lips parted, our eyes meeting in sequence as they opened at the same time.

"I just never want anything bad to happen to you," He whispered with a deep breath, knowing what he meant, "Never."

"I know," There was never a guarantee of making it out of this safe when the worst was yet to come, but something deep inside of me just knew that we'd all make it out alright, "Just trust me, Ichigo,"

Cuddling back to him, I took the chance to hold him instead, and he hugged me all the same, both of us able to relax for the first time in quite some time, placing a kiss on top of his head:

"We're going to make it out of this."