#if you look at my stuff and say this wouldnt actually work stop looking bc its not for you

[bunnyb34r]

I know I should just block (and not OPEN) tags and posts ab '24 but my brain is stupid and likes to be informed even if it makes me worse

[gokutitties]

Can people stop applying real world logic to my art

[ma3mae]

Hello!! I hope you are doing well, wanted to say I love your work !!

Can I request how the BSD boys (Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Chuuya, Fukuzawa etc) would react to gf!fem!reader saying “I am just a hole” after they did something attractive? Something fun and suggestive ehehe~

No brain, just horny!

Summary: No one cared about you being down bad for you bfs since everything's mutual, right? (Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Fukuzawa)

Genre: fluff, maybe crack, def suggestive themes, maybe a tiny tiny bit of smut. Who knows 💀

Warnings: yall gonna be horny after this 🤓

A/N: was kinda difficult to think of fitting scenarios but i had fun writing this!! Also thank you for loving my work, anonnnn 💕💕💕💕

Part 2

Dazai Osamu

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAAAAAAT 💀💀💀💀

HES HORNY 24/7, DONT EXPECT HIM TO HOLD BACK LMAOO 💀💀😭😭

okay okay so lets say yall are at the ADA office

hes done with annoying the shit ouf of kuni and now hes just sitting on the couch, literally bored out of his mind

Kuni tells u to tell "that dumbass idiot of a boyfriend🤩" to finally get back to work so u go up to him

u know that scene where he leans his head back onto the grave and slowly tilts it back down and opens his eyes while having that soft smile on his face? oda's only purpose was him dying so we'd get that scene, crying fr 😭😭😭

Yeah hes doing exactly THAT as he notices your presence infront of him, flashing you a smile and only for it to spread even further as he notices your dazed face 💀

"Oh, bella? Too lovestruck to talk to me, I see. Can't help it that I'm just so hands-"

"I'm nothing but a hole for you"

I DONT KNOW HOW SOMEONE COULD EVEN SAY THAT 😭😭 THATS SUCH A WEIRD THING TO SAY AND SO DUMB BUT NO ONE CARES 🥲🥲🥲

AND HIS HORNY ASS DOESNT GIVE TWO SHITS EITHER 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

his eyes are fking bulging as he hears you say that infront of him

ACTUALLY shocked that you had the guts to legit say that outloud and luckily no one rly heard that except him he wouldnt mind if the whole ass office wouldve heard that, we KNOW 💀

you manage to get a good laugh out of him before he just shoots you that god awful handsome smirk before he suddenly stands up

Towering over you, he leans in and whispers "Never thought you'd be so dirty to say stuff like that during working hours. Not that I'm complaining! I'm glad to have such a strong effect on you, bella~" got me blushing fr😳😳😳

Its too late to realise what you've just said. Your fate has been sealed.

OFF TO HORNY JAIL YALL GO 💀💀🗣️

no jk but nah nah he wont stop there

Youve awakened the fking horny beast in him and how could he refuse his love offering herself so blatantly while your coworkers were literally in the same room?? 🤩😋

He just takes your hand as he proceeds to leave the office

Kuni just yells "Oi, where the hell do you think you're going?! Only told you to tell him to work! Not join his stupid shenanigans!! 😡😡"

YOU KNOW that ur bf just turns around and shoots him that annoying ass smirk, only to say

"But Kunikida, we are off to work actually! Nothing you'd be able to do anyway. Tell me when you've found something interesting in all that paper work of yours! Can tell you that our job will definitely be more fun than that~ 😁😁"

You can only give poor kuni a sheepish smile as atsushi just deadpans at the both of you, muttering a "good luck 😐" towards you as your bf just drags you to his car because your job's gonna be too loud to do at the ada and going home wont be an option since dazai's not patient in that sense 💀💀💀

Already sending prayers to you for having to go back to "work" while being sore af and dazai looking like he got out of a 10 day wellness vacation 😭🥲🥲

dazai's actually gonna spare our poor kuni by kinda doing some paper work but our man will be forever traumatised bc hes not oblivious 🗣️

Especially after seeing your neck littered with hickeys 😭😭 u cant hide them, youve got a damn mosquito as a bf 💀

kuni just tosses a bottle of water your way without looking at u bc he thinks its not modest to shamelessly look at them 😤 I LOVE U KUNI

"thanks, i guess" is all you'll hear from him bc at the end, you DID get dazai to work but at what cost 😭

Kunikida Doppo

Flabbergasted. Shocked. Disappointed. Shamefully not too hard to turn on. 💀

His first reaction is gonna be like u just told ur mom u forgot to do the laundry 😭

DEF gonna scold your ass off for saying such things in such an inappropiate setting

its not your fault hes being so hot during work 😤😤😤😤

Tell him off for being so handsome!! 🤩

Wont stop his scolding but u cant take him serious when hes fumbling over his words

Still manages to thank you for ur compliment even though its embarassing af 😭 no way would he refuse such kind words from his love 😋

So anyway it could go two ways with him

The first would be if yall wouldnt be alone at the ADA

You go up to him to ask him about a report you need help with

Ive never seen kuni tie his hair up but... imagine catching him doing that...

With the hair tie in his mouth as he pulls his hair back and like...

It makes u think of the times you'd yank it back during yk what 🤭

So he notices you gape at him and is all like "🤨 are you alright?"

Cue to you just uttering "Damn, kuni. You only gotta ask. Am just a hole for you anyway" out of nowhere

LMAO you can just hear dazai cackling from the couch as your bf just looks at you like 😳 with his mouth agape and everything

Dazai just walks up to you to pat your shoulder

"Kunikida, you've got quite the daring girlfriend!" "SHUT YOUR ANNOYING MOUTH UP"

kuni just quickly ties his hair back and BROO he nearly feels so violated and exposed 😭😭😭😭

Why would u do this to him AT WORK 😭

Ngl u and dazai prob team up to annoy him to death like hes just so fun to TEASE 😤

Anyway he just tells you to get back to work and when u tell him you need some help, he begrudgingly does it bc its important but you can still his hands shake a bit and his face is red as he tries to give you advice on ur work skskksks 💀

Be ready to get scolded for HOURS when yall are on ur way home 🤓

But dw u know how to shut his beautiful mouth up 🤭😋

But if you do the whole thing while yall are alone at work bc kuni decided to stay a bit longer then THATS a different story

Lets say he does the same thing again as above ^ and u say the same thing

He'll def turn a bit red and tell you that you cant say stuff like that during work!

"But kuni, we're alone and no ones gonna come back anyway. It's nearly 8pm after all."

The sun's setting and the only light that softly illuminates the room and it just steals ur fking breath bc 😭 hes so gorgeous with his hair open 😭😭😭

But u can still see his gaze on u, making ur knees weak bc BROO

horny jail for kuni too????? 💀💀💀

jk but he'll clear his throat and just say "a work place is still a work place so i cant let this inappropiate behavior just go like that..."

You're like standing infront of him and he grabs you by your waist, softly kneading it as he tells u to sit on his lap 😭

"Will teach that mouth of yours how to behave. Maybe after this you'll be a bit more tame. Think that idiot has been a bad influence on you like he has with everyone but don't worry. I'll be sure to teach you everything again."

I'll let you imagine the rest here 🤭🤭

Edogawa Ranpo

man just wants to eat his candy in peace, get ur horny ass away from him 🤨🤨🤨🤨

u thought dazai's a whole bitch???? Nah nah this is a MAN CHILD right here

This man wont give u what u want, nah he'll let u suffer alone LOL 💀💀

if this happens at work then 🤷 honestly depends on what mood he is i think

its a hot day in yokohama and the air conditioning is not rly helping yall

so u kinda wanna go grab some ice cream during ur break and u dont need to think twice about asking ur bf to go with u

fr he'll be SO annoying if u dont take him with u 💀 but dw he obviously knows why u r approaching him rn 🤩

but he takes a while to catch on why u just stopped and looked like a fish rn like a combo of this :0 and 😳

he just goes "🤨"

"Damn, the bathroom's close. 'am just a hole for you anyway so let's go" u legit go 😨 after realising what u just said

How no one hears that, idk but this hoe DEF heard u well

U r even more scared bc he just sits there and doesnt react but oops

only needs some sec before he opens his eyes and smirks at u 🤭

"Eh~ You've got guts, Y/N. Saying naughty stuff like that during work hours. Not that I mind though. Just shows how smitten you are by the World's Greatest Detective~"

"N-"

He just waves a finger at u like you're a lil kid getting scolded rn 💀

"Ah ah ah, don't try to refute that fact. Can't blame you for your reaction after all. It's still funny to me that all it took was me losening my tie, gliding a hand through my hair and open up a button of my shirt. ~ "

He just gets up and gives you a peck on your cheek before walking ahead

"I still want that ice ream though! If it's good then I'll give tending to your needs a thought!" 💀 THIS BITCH

but dw he'll make sure to show u how smitten he is after that bc ur mouth just tastes better after some sweet ice cream, right 🤓??

but u know whats the best combo with saying that sentence?

a jealous ranpo 🤩

like ok quick scenario

lets move this outside of work, ok?

So yall are walking around and some random dude decides to hit on u and hello 🤨cant he see that u r legit holding hands with the world's greatest detective??

u kindly tell the man to fuck off but nah hes not letting u chill

wraps protectively his arm around ur waist, clearly showing him that YOU. ARE. TAKEN.

"with that scrawny lookin dude???" bro hes got a death sentence 💀

time for ur bf to show him his skills 🤭 which means threatening him to expose everything about him

immediately tells him where he lives, what he does for a living, where he likes to shop, where his parents live. E. V. E. R. Y. T. H. I. N. G

he just smirks and puffs his chest slightly out as that dude just fking runs off bc id be terrified too 😨

He deserves it tho ✋

"What a fool! Thinking he could challenge ME?! The greatest detective to ever live! See how terrified he was!" hes fking cackling before stopping as he sees ur face

brothers and sisters, we are LOVESTRUCK

and that hoe cann see that right away 💀

"Thank you..." like should we say how hot that was???? maybe 😳😳???

"And?" AH obviously he got us 😭

but we too embarassed to say smth but NICE, theres a nearby alley so u know where hes dragging us 🤩

Pressed up against the wall and hes just centimeters away from u as he asks again

"That wasn't everything you wanted to say, right~? Of course you find me" hot" but just wanna hear it from you, love."

"FUCK, am just a hole for u" 💀😳

goes wide eyed for a sec before chuckling and saying "Well, that wasn't what I wanted to hear but I'll let it count!"

His eyes travel down your neck before finally saying "Hm, I've got an idea in how to make everyone know that you're taken. I deserve a little treat after having saved you, no?" 🤭🤭🤭 got me blushing fr

Anyway problem solved, no one made moves onto u after that and it might turn into a habit before yall go out for the next times 🗣️

But no one's complaining hihi 🤭🤭😳

Fukuzawa Yukichi

oh god where do i even begin 💀

i gotta hold myself back from getting off topic when it comes to HIM 😭

honestly this man has seen and experienced so many things, u gotta do a lot to catch THIS man off guard 💀💀

bro he had to deal with mori's ass in his 20's for too long and STILL deals with it till this day 😐😐😐😐😐

not to mention the agency is like his fking orphanage at this point 😐

Already enough that his first child is still a child with his thirty years of living on this damn planet 🤓

lets say u work at the ADA as well and now yall r holding a meeting to go over some details for a random mission

Idk if its just me but... the way he sits there and is leading that whole shit, telling em what to do and how they could handle it the best way, while encouraging everyone to work hard n stuff... idk....

Its just so HOT 😳😳😳🤭

like hes so charismatic, fuck dazai, yall cant compare ANYONE to this man 😭😭😭😭😭😭 no wonder everyone follows him, id lick his shoes too 😭😭 HORNY JAIL FOR ME?????

anyway he dismisses everyone and the both of you are the last ones to be in the room bc u r just sitting at the table and staring at him like 😳

Dw my girl, hes been noticing the way you've been looking at him the whole time

"Is everything alright, my love? You've been staring at me for quite a while now."

"N-No its nothing 😳"

nah no need to hold back bc we know our knees r gonna buckle the second he takes ur hand

AND HE DOES 🤩🤩

his eyes slightly crinkle at the end as you can see amusement dance in them

"I know that look when something's on your mind. I'll respect your decision to not tell me but I'd like to know what it is."

honestly your red face is already proof enough whats on ur mind but how can u hide it when hes just looking at you with such an intense gaze UGH I LOVE THIS MAAAAAN 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"W-Well the way you just handle everything with ease even though its a lot of pressure and i dont know...it's just really admirable but also hot when you tell them what to do. wouldnt mind you doing that in the bedroom too, you know. id be a hole for u anytime like this... "

u tryna mumble that shit out of embarassement but he clearly heard you 💀

And he does go wide eyed out of surprise because DAMN thats still pretty straightforward and was kinda the last thing he'd thought you'd say but honestly... he doesnt mind it 💀

in facr hes liking it a bit too much for himself 💀💀 but who is he to complain? Especially when his lover is being so honest with him?

" So you want me to be a bit more authoritative in the bedroom? I-It might be a bit awkward for me to do so but if it's something you desire then we'll gladly try it out together. We should be done with the mission around the evening but if not then..."

you feel his hands gently cup your face as he presses his lips against yours before pulling a bit too soon for your liking

"Then I hope this will suffice until then. I'll be sure to thank you for your patience after everything's over."

THE ONLY THIINNGG

THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO IS SAY YESSSS 🤩🤩😭😭😭😭😭

IDC IF IM NOT SPEAKING FOR EVERYONE BC

We WILL wait for him OKAY 💀💀✋✋✋

he just strokes your hair lovingly as you try to hide ur face bc hes just too blinding

anyway as the both of u get ready to leave, yall just hear quick shuffling behind yall bc OOPS

THE DOOR WAS OPEN 💀

THE KIDS DIDNT LEAVE LOL 💀💀 THEY HEARD EVERYTHING

"😳☺️🤭😏" u can choose which ADA member would make which face 💀💀💀

ngl u prob sometimes call them ur children and BRO

ranpo actually annoys u for some candy ngl 💀

u once punched dazai's gut bc yk he'd ask the stupid question like

"if you're our mom, would that make you a milf?"

send him back to the MAFIA trash can he came from 🤩🤩

jk but might write a oneshot about him even tho hes difficult to write 💀

will def do a part 2 of this bc it gives me an excuse to simp for these men 💀

[quodekash]

wait what did patpran's friends say when they told them they would be playing the main characters

how did they react during rehearsals and stuff

obviously kornwai wouldnt care, but what about the others who think they still hate each other??? who think theyre currently exes?? i have many questions.

but more importantly: THEYRE DOING THE PLAY AND PHUPHATIAN WENT TO WATCH IT AAAAAAA

INKPA INKPA INKPA INKPA

GIRLFRIENDS

LESBIANS

MY WIVES

AAAAAAAAAA

oh i wasnt expecting that

i wouldve expected it to be the other way around

that's so interesting, subverting expectations

i love subverting expectations /gen

veriudjksgbvouerbjsdoguvbre im so excited

im so freaking excited

holy hell

INKPA

THIS RANDOM AUDIENCE MEMBER IS SUCH A FREAKING MOOD OMG

THAT WAS MY REACTION TO THAT PART, TOO

I LOVE THIS AUDIENCE SO MUCH

HES ACTUALLY CRYING

HOLY FREAKING HELL

BRO IS SUCH A GOOD ACTOR

its a shame that the tear is on the side of his face that the audience cant see buT STILL

BRO

HES COMMITTED

I LOVE HIM SO FREAKING MUCH HOLY HELL

SAAAAME

ALSO: INKPA

oh dear merciful god please let them freakin kiss

THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME

IM SOBBING

SAME

I LOVE HER SO MUCH

SHE JUST WANTS THEM TO FREAKING KISS

AND SAME

please

OMG THE PART IS COMING

FHWDSFHEASDF

IM SHAKING IN ANTICIPATION

Y E S

THEY DIDNT EVEN HESITATE

AND THEY DIDNT HAVE TO DO THAT

THEY COULDVE JUST LIKE. LEANED THEIR HEADS IN CLOSE TO EACH OTHER. OR DEMONSTRATED WITH THEIR HANDS.

BUT NO, THEY HAD TO KISS EACH OTHER

AND IM DYING BC OF IT

D U D E

LOOK AT HOW HAPPY THEY BOTH LOOK AFTER THAT

GIO34ERPHGSO[VEI4HRSNG0VIO4ERNGSOIBVERJDF

AAAAAAA

G0EVIRODGNOVDVVORILNDFG034IPEJHGT0I34HERQGIUOVBNREULGJBWVNEKSEJDGNVPOREH98GEH0458REHGV9BWVERWG9WBOVHVENPRIOJGKVBLREIKJGB94VOUERGN8943OEBHGNOPUEVRLNGVIORUEJBDGIUBEROUPGB9PU54BERG9UBI4EPOURBGIPOWU4BEGPUBW4IERGJOBREUGWREJOUFVJHKDFFOPEUTRNGHPOIAU5RENGPOIRVBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE IS SO DESPERATELY ANTICIPATING THEM KISSING, AND THEN THERES PHUPHATIAN LAUGHING THEIR ASSES OFF, AND ITS SO FUNNY TO ME

YYYYYEAHHHHHHHHHHH

FINALLY

HELL YES

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

GVREIJKDBGERVJD

PA'S LITTLE WHOOP I LOVE HER SO MUCH

LMAO THIS ONE KID FILMING IT

KORNWAIIIII

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

HOLY FREAKING HELL

bro did you not watch the previous architecture play?

the other one he literally starred in?

YOU BROUGHT HIM HIS XYLOPHONE STICKS AT THE AUDITION

PA I LOVE YOU BUT WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

i agree

also: I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

they just mean so much to me, your honour

i get that you wanna congratulate them buT PLEASE, THE MAN HAS TOO MANY FLOWERS ALREADY, SPARE HIM

LOOK AT PA

SHORT ONE LOOKING LOVINGLY UP AT HER GIRLFRIEND GHREKBFGS

which, by the way, this is one of the few times i can say that theyre short, because shes the only one that's shorter than me. i am a whole two centimetres taller than love, and im proud of that

LUCKILY FOR YOU (and all of us), IT'S ALL ON YOUTUBE AT THE GMMTV CHANNEL

look at me, promoting them. i could be their spokesperson. (hire me gmmtv, im begging you)

YOU'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT (please let him be about to walk up to them, please please im begging you)

yES

I WAS RIGHT

please, make it stop, he cant carry any more flowers

THEM <3

VUHREKDSBGVIOREJBGUI3F4REBGPUVI4ERJBDSGV9UPOERBDSGV9UOREBDSVVER9UDNVREUOBDVNU9BIBRE8VDIYBR8EDVIFBHVUBOGVUV9UERODHS9V8REH9GR8VHRED98GHRE8GHR98HGV9DEHVOIE9VD9UERYFER9DSIBVGRIOEGUOIRE8RE8FGREUGIRFHRDEGUIGEU9RFEROGOGRIEOSDHVODH

[quodekash.exe has stopped working]

i wouldve inserted the image again but uh. youll never guess who ran out of images again

[e77y]

relating to that vent, i getchu so bad. i feel like in general, the internet might worsen compulsions & obsession within ocd + etc. i have a similar feeling (wouldnt say identical cause i know u from tumblr n yaknow yaknow) that tells me everything i do needs to be 100% morally correct or [insert awful things] will happen to me or someone i love. and this is easier to deal with when you're offline, because there's a limit on the people that can get mad at you. half of the world won't get mad at you because only 0.00001% (or whatever) of the world knows you, yaknow. on the net, it feels like everyone who has an account knows you. your brain telly you anyone who has an account on here might see what you posted & they might be mad at you & they might make a callout post or whatever. even though they don't know you. which is a terrifying thought for many. i dont think youre alone in this, genuinely. and i feel it can be improved. some stuff that's helped me: - making separate accounts w private stuff (doesnt rly work on tumblr but like a private account on insta & etc etc) - rationalising thoughts (an example of this would be thinking: is it really likely many people will agree with someone being mad at me? or: how many people actually do see my posts? is that proportional to the amount of followers i have) - and talking ab it w friends. genuinely, the communication + processing of these thoughts & feelings is soo helpful. sending u soo much love <3 if u wanna chat a bit ab it you can dm me :) (ask can be published or responded 2 privately, whatever u prefer!)

Thank you so much for this message omg :’) ❤️❤️❤️❤️ So thoughtful. This made me tear up a little haha. I’m posting it here so I can look back at it later; hopefully that’s okay.

I’m really glad to hear other people feel the same way/have the same worry… like logically I know that it’s something a lot of people worry about, but idk; my brain has a way of convincing me I am the only person in the world who has done anything ‘bad’ ever LMAOO. So this was really nice to hear

Also I’m a very talkative person! Like I’m definitely an introvert, but I do like to talk about myself and my interests and my feelings etc. Especially when I have a forum (cough Tumblr) to post into the void 😭😭 So I guess that’s part of my issue; IRL, there are less people to be upset if I do/say something ‘bad’, and most of them are my close friends and know I don’t have bad intentions. But online, I walk on eggshells bc 1) strangers online DON’T know my intentions and 2) I just think my mutuals are really cool lol. So I don’t want to do/say anything ‘bad’ or even embarrassing in their presence yk? And online, their ‘presence’ comprises literally all the time w everything I post

I should probably make a more private account 😅 This one is kind of that (just bc it has far fewer followers than my other blog), and I have one on Instagram with like two people following it that I haven’t touched in a while, sooo maybe I will go back to that for more personal vents and whatnot 🫡 I try not to post anything TOO personal on Tumblr, anyway. I just also really like creating fan content, which sort of inherently puts me in a public space even if I don’t WANT to have an ‘audience’ (regardless of how small that audience is; ik there are people who look up to my writing, and that puts a lot of extra pressure on me, but I don’t want to stop writing, either…. Agh)

Idk this is probably overly personal and also very disjointed bc I just finished writing a 1,800 word essay and my brain is mush lol. I’m just sort of reiterating everything you said. Sorry for making you read all this lmao 😭🙏 But thank you for the kind words, seriously ❤️ I really really appreciate it :’D !!!!!!!

[defensivelee]

ok... i just blocked anon at this point but heres what they said bc apparently i didn't read what i wrote myself(?!)

i would just leave it at that, but honestly? i do wanna address some things here not bc i feel the need to defend myself to anon, but bc i wanna make it clear to you ppl WHY all this stuff was written.... like im not gonna sugarcoat it, i DO enjoy writing this bc hi. huge whump lover here. making pretty people suffer is my favorite thing. but it's also so important to say that this is FICTION (this is historical rpf which is kinda funny but still, none of this actually happened). there is no real abuse going on so there is no need for any of this performative bullshit. anon is just wasting time bc it goes without saying but i would never ever condone or do this shit irl. idk how it works for other ppl but for me fiction does not affect reality, the only way it does is that it makes me happy precisely because i can do whatever i want and nobody gets hurt. and these mfs dont care, they're dead im sure they have better things to do. anyway i just wanna say:

all the details anon is giving me abt my story makes it sound like they read the whole story, both Dona Dona and the main chapters. that's almost 100k words. when they could have clicked off at any time. when the tags are so clearly right there. like... you did this for what 😭

i assume the gang rape anon is talking about is in the Tenth Hot Spring when Bentinck serviced a bunch of dudes to seal a deal for William. i would find it kind of difficult to describe it as that... but tbh, yeah, it would have been incredibly hard for him to say no. in any case, so sorry to tell you this anon but there are no perfect victims in this AU! he never sees it as rape because he thinks he deserves it, and because he does enjoy it at times. his whole image as an Ally under an Overlifer kind of relies on that. and while i'll tag it properly, i'm not going to sanitize or sugarcoat it as it's a huge part of his character arc. he doesn't think he's allowed to say no or have boundaries, so he won't! in this society i think it would be hard to find a "perfect victim." Bentinck doesn't cry about this because he thinks he's fulfilling his purpose.

Bentinck being described as a shotacon..... im so sorry that was so fucking funny to me LMFAO

i wouldn't say he enjoyed kissing William's father as a boy, he just thinks he did. obv we don't get to see much of it in Dona Dona bc it's from William's POV. but even then, as an adult, he stills sees it as an honor. AGAIN, part of his whole arc of how he views himself, the religion, and his role in it. that event is kind of the starting point of that, it was put there for a reason and not bc i actually think kids can consent/enjoy assault! in my experience, they can think they did. here again, the perfect victim narrative does not always reflect reality.

you're right, kids can't initiate that! like i said in my disclaimer, it's a result of grooming and how they've been raised. they think they are, but it's just making them easier to abuse. i never once believed they could consent.

im not a rapist period full stop. just not

yeah i romanticize abusive relationships. in FICTION. they're fun to write. jamesborough is a delightful ship and the succubus au has been so fun to work on. real life abusers can choke and i would encourage anyone in a relationship like the ones i write about to seek help immediately.

Anne called Marly a slut bc SHE is victim blaming. EVERYONE victim blames Marly in this story. it's part of HIS arc. i would not blame any victim of this sort of shit irl. and even then, in this universe "slut" doesn't have such a negative connotation as in our world. yes, it is still victim blaming, but how can you read the story and still have it completely fly by your head like that

im aromantic, which i dont know how you wouldnt have just picked up from idk... SCROLLING THRU MY BLOG LIKE ANON SO CLEARLY DID?? LOOKING AT MY ICON?? so no need to pray for those hypothetical partners, it's never happening.

[teataglia]

Tea!! Ship your moots with characters they normally don't self-ship themselves with!!

ooo yay!! i like dis idea A LOT hehe i hope you all like it toooo < 3 srry this took so long oopsies i am v sloww

@anime-fanfics-i-write + dwight sugawara ;; i actually think you guys wuld be so so sooo cute, like he would indulge your every whim and treat you like the princess you are!! he wuld always have your fav dish cooked up n ready every time you come home!

@stygianoir + diluc ;; diluc is the SWEETEST lover and, unlike dain, he is not immortal so you guys could actually grow old together and yall wuld be the cutest old couple I M O

@lexstacy-fics + bokuto ;; HE'S BIG N KIND w very few thoughts floating around in his dome piece n he wuld love your bright pink theme, he wuld be so into supporting yu n your writing it's the cutest thing (or your irl choso <3 hehe)

@im-a-loser-fight-me + osamu ;; ok hear me out, he is not your usual gentle giant type BUT he is STRONG and wuld be very gentle w yu..... but also wuld not be afraid to toss you around a bit if you catch my drift ;)

@hotlinetakami + aizawa ;; he's daddy. lololol, he def gives the best hugs and when yu 2 are just cuddling on the couch, moving seems impossible

@21-06-1996 + TSUKISHIMA KEI ;; another bean pole that likes to read! lmaoo he's so annoying but in the best way and would looove taking you out on lil cafe dates no matter how much he denies it

@b-achiras + itachi uchiha ;; GAWD him, he he he wuld absolutely love you forever, till the end of time, he's like THE ultimate sweetheart. he would also be so overprotective of you bc hes scared to lose you :(( but that just means more quality time!

@kazuwhora + hange ;; looking into my crystal ball n seeing a lot of late night tired cuddles, hange coming home late from work and just collapsing into your arms and you hold them soooo tight, promising to never let go, delivering lil cups of water to each other to make sure you're both hydrating < 3

@festive + kaeya ;; thinkin about romantic candle lit dinners, him being a gentleman and holding the door for you, pulling your chair out for you to sit, kissin the back of your hand n everything, all that cute stuff >:3

@twbachira + shinichiro sano ;; the sweetest baby, this guy knows sacrifice and he would do absolutely anything for you, loves you as deep as the sea and as tall as the heavens, also takes gr8 pics of yu, like 100% best photographer and hypeman

@haithanist + childe ;; he'd be such a lil obnoxious tease! and so cute! he would spoil you rotten! ahhh im just thinkin about him wrapping you up in a big scarf in the winter!! and throwing layers of blankets on you!! so cute!!

@dark-mnjiro + draken ;; he wuld take such good care of you, he just loves you so so so much < 3 hes very protective and will be by your side in minutes, just say the word, love physical touch of any kind (his fav is keeping his hand on the small of your back when you're in public, subtle but makes a statement :D)

@rczc + akaashi keiji ;; hes my baby boy but i just KNOW you would cherish each other, and youd be the prettiest couple, like youre stunning n hes beautiful?? i am not wrong (nothing but the best for BOTH my angels)

@oomiya + oikawa ;; he acts like such a flirt but in reality he'd be the biggest nerd 4 YU!! he would be so enthralled, utterly head over heels n theres nothing you can do to stop him, he wuld love to show you off, but like subtly and tastefully ofc

@kentoangel + gojo ;; hot, hot stuff. you both are sizzling n steaming, n he knows how to treat you right. he would learn all your likes n dislikes so quick, he wouldnt ever want to fuck it up w you, like ever ever, so he's constantly checking in, v considerate of him mhm

@garoujo + mitsuya ;; YOU ARE BOTH THE SWEETEST, i personally think its a match made in heaven, like he’d actually worship you, you are his angel - his deity, he's so observant it's scary, if yu mention smth once in passing he will remember it for the rest of his life

@bbiemilk + kazuha ;; he wuld love to take it nice n slow w yu, stopping to enjoy the smaller things in life, like how the flowers change colors in the fall, reassuring yu that b4 yu know it, it’ll be spring again!

@iitoshi + seishu inui ;; i for one think you two would hit it off, hes so straight forward, but around you hed get a lil shy its so sweetttt <33 like he wuldve had to work up the courage to ask you out ^.^ and then he’d treat you like the royalty you are

@sleepy3 + yuta okkotsu ;; sweet angels, the love radiates from your entangled bodies as you lie together in the sun, only a simple cat nap, but neither of yu wuld want to be anywhere else :3

@shcyc + jean kirstein ;; he's my hubby but you deserve each other (nothing but the best), n like he's just a lil sweetheart and i think yu guys wuld fall madly in luv, he's like funny n everything too ehehe

@munsonsins + issei matsukawa ;; he's hot and i will say it, just going off vibes alone you guys wuld be a very smexy couple, he's tall n nice n knows how to take a joke so don't go easy on him ;)

@thetempleofnyx + kakucho ;; THIS MF SWEETHEART ugh, he might be a lil rough around the edges but i promise he is the kindest most gentle baby there is < 3 n he wuld be so loyal, major heart eyes 4 yu 2

@satorhime + reiner braun ;; he is a lil cray cray in the beginning but like, he is literally just a big teddy bear, buuuut that's not found out until later, but like just trust me on dis one, he wuld cherish yu so so so much

@touyyes + choso ;; he is big n beefy n he will luv yu till the end of time, he's a large guy w a large heart n large eyes that are only 4 yuuu, im thinkin like slow dancing in the living room or him making your fav food for dinner mmmm yummy

@maginxlia + nanami ;; he's a gentleman thru n thru, will spoil yu and spend every free waking moment he has simply doting on yu, checking, double checking, n triple checking that you're safe and happy < 3

@dear-itto + thoma ;; even tho he accidentally fed your hubby beans, thoma means nothing but the best, he wuld wait on yu hand and foot, if you even think about wanting smth, boom he already got it for yu, he's that guud :3

@soshiina + kita ;; HIM < 3 he is so sweet and cute and husband material!! just thinkin about him comin home after a long day of FARMING, all tired n you're there! waiting for him w open arms! n he receives the biggest, warmest hug, n maybe a nice massage if youre feeling up to it !

[hugheshugs]

okay so— one nommie sent a long dbf!thom thought, i highly suggest you all read it bc its very interesting !! im gonna put it under the cut with my response/thoughts in italics. thank you to whoever sent this in, i love you <3

I feel like if dad!bren ever found out about dbf!thomas and y/n it would be because thom would confront bren about how brendan is never there for y/n, weather its for something that means a lot to her or in a time of need (like when she was stranded in the place she didnt know) but he only confronts him because brendan promised his daughter he'd be there for some event that was important to her.

no yk what, this is so true bc thom just wants the best for her and obviously he can't keep it all in when bren's over there treating her like shit. the fact that bren could have told her he was busy instead of promising her he'd show up then not doing so makes it even worse. she'd be heartbroken because of the broken promise and thom would lose it.

She'd ask her dad if he was coming to this event (think of how like spring concerts are important to kids, like a big moment for her like an art show or something), not really caring if he says no cause shes used to him not being there for her things and her jaw almost drops when he says yeah he is coming so she asks him if hes really coming and he responds to her with i promise.

she'd be so excited too. probably be talking to thom about it for days leading up to the event, and he'd be all smiley seeing her so happy.

The day of her event, shes excited because, for once, hes not revolving his world around hunter, this is about her. Thomas drops her off and says he'll stop by later and how proud he is of her before driving away.

However, when the event starts and as time passes and shes watching for her dad, he's not there and when thomas comes and sees her, her smile getting faker by the second, he immediately is by her side and asking her whats wrong. When she tells him she hasnt seen dad yet and that theres only an hour left, he's irked but maybe, MAYBE, bren will show up. After all, he promised his little girl.

they'd be waiting together for the rest of the night and she'd be trying to contain her tears, waiting for him to show up because he promised. thom would be trying to show her love as best as he could without making it look suspicious to anyone. all he'd wish was that if bren actually wasn't coming, that the event would end soon so he could comfort her.

But when the event comes to an end and theres no brendan in sight, not even to pick her up, he's pissed. Could deck his friend and break his nose and not care pissed, cause here she is, sitting in his passenger seat, spirit completely crushed despite thomas saying how amazing she did but its not the same. She wants to hear it from her dad and thomas knows this.

honestly, yeah, he wouldnt come pick her up. i feel like he doesn't realize how much she actually needs him. he doesn't understand how much she cares for his validation and approval. because you know, thats how he was at her age. he didn't want his parents around all the time because he had his friends, but she was the complete opposite. all she wanted was him, and as much as she appreciates thom's kind words and that he was the one who showed up, he wasn't exactly the person she was looking forward to seeing that night.

So when they get home and brendan is just sitting in the backyard, maybe jotting down things that hunter needs to work a bit harder on, y/n doesnt even bother, just goes upstairs to bed, too exhausted to even say anything to brendan about missing this when he promised her.

she'd be exhausted but she'd also be heartbroken. i feel like he'd spend lots of nights sitting outside doing stuff for hunter, like planning and taking notes like you said, and she really believed he'd skip one night for her. she didn't think it was too much to ask but apparently it was, and it made her heart ache.

But thom isnt (exhausted). Thomas marches right outside and just rips into him about how he's hurting her and not even caring and he cant even come to this one thing that meant the world to her.

like i said before, thom just wants the best for his girl, even if that means possibly ruining his relationship with his best friend. from the start—even though we havent got there yet—he's always been the one to correct bren when he leaves her out of things or says things he maybe shouldn't say to his kid. it pains him that she deserves better, that his best friend is the one that can heal her yet he chooses not to.

But brendan just brushes it off and tells him that this doesnt concern him and that just send thomas completely over the edge, telling brendan that it does because brendan causing y/n's hurt and seeing her hurting is hurting him and when brendan widens his eyes and thomas finally realizes what came out of his mouth and he's trying to think of a way to backteack that and make it seem like its not what it is, brendan is on him in a heartbeat saying how dare he even think about his daughter in that way and now they're both at each others throats.

angry confessions type beat. i have nothing to say bc that was an imagine on its own. loved this last part bestie <3

*ive even thought about Hunter maybe being out with friends and remembering his sister had this huge thing going on and so he drags his friends along because he needs to show his little sister some support even if this event isn't something he's remotely interested in. So the fact that her brother showed up and her dad couldnt even bother despite him promising her, just makes thomas even more mad*

even thoughhh hunter pretends she's a pain in the ass, he loves her. not enough to talk back to their dad about the way he treats her (most of the time), but enough to show up for her. and yeah, it would be one of the rare occasions he does something kind for her so she'd be upset that he could come and their dad couldn't.

thanks for the thought, nommie !! i really appreciate it, and don't be afraid to send in long asks, i love reading them all <3 thanks again, this was such a nice scenario to think about 💗

[raineadey]

ooooooo you want to tell me abt uour oc sooo bad /nf

WAHJ TAHNK U THANK YOU OKAY SO. wow this is long. i divided this into three parts: backstory, main story ( crk episode 16 stuff ), and parfaedia ( what happens after the story, which actually has more in store but ill elaborate on that in another post )

BACKSTORY

once upon a time, blueberry pie cookie was looking through the wizards journals, until she came across the journal filled with the wizards trials and errors in creating moonlight cookie. it was her favorite book, the one that she read most often by the small moonlit corner.

having gone this far in her duties, blueberry pie thought a bit of company wouldnt hurt.

curiosity winning over herself, she uses the journal as a recipe book to bake her own cookie. thus, bo-berry cookie was born in the image of moonlight cookie (obviously nowhere as powerful though. shes just a cookie thats baked using the wizards recipe)

bo-berry cookie grew up between the high, never-ending bookshelves in the archives, reading anything that caught her interest to pass the time. she was like her mother in some ways — curious and hungry for knowledge.

but the library wasnt enough for her. she wanted to explore the city. though each time she asked her mother, "can i go play outside?" she would always say no.

"we have a promise to keep, a duty to uphold. there is nothing left for you in the city, bo-berry cookie."

(she also mentions those stars roaming the streets. shed turn to crumbs if any of them caught her)

ever since then, bo-berry practiced illusion magic behind her mothers back, attempting to make herself go undetected or even invisible. one day, her hard work and practice came to fruition, and she escaped the archives without her mother knowing — only to find that the city is completely empty of cookies.

she decided it was better than the archives, though. she explores the empty abandoned buildings, scavenging for any interesting magical artefacts to play with. its technically not stealing if the owner left it behind, right?

shes lonely. no one else to talk to or play with. her mother was right, this city has nothing for her. but perhaps somewhere out there..

MAIN STORY

she joins the main trio and saves them from the biggest golden star from the graveyard while invisible and undetected.

gingerbrave: that wasnt easy at ALL. huh, why do i feel like were being watched?

and as he said that, wizard cookies hat was floating in the air, followed by an air of laughter before revealing herself to her. she hasnt met anyone to interact with for a good while, so she got a liiittle excited.

her mood quickly turned sour when gingerbrave explains that theyre headed to the archives. but ahe agrees to show them the way. she told herself she wasnt going to go in, but once she sees the book worms attacking them, she groans ("i cant let you cookies pathetically crumble here on your mission 🙄") and helps them through to the library.

she knows whats coming. its inevitable that shes going to face her mom again. ( scene in this short video its like 14 secs )

once gingerbrave and co are done with what they came here for, she was about to leave with them when blueberry pie stopped her.

bbp: now, where do you think youre going? are you not staying here?

bb: mother, i cant stay here

bbp: are you leaving?

bb: [ a bit guilty ] i have to help my friends save the city

bbp: i see. [ just as bo-berry was about to leave again, ] bo-berry?

bb: [ stops ]

bbp: when i baked you, i should have known i couldn't keep you within these same walls ive been kept in my whole life. your curios soul knows no bounds, therefore i can not stop you from pursuing your life. [ quiet for a moment ] i love you, my child. i apologise for everything.

bo-berry merely gives her a smile and joins her friends outside.

another thing worth mentioning in this part is when stardust cookie destroyed the city of wizards. everyone was confused bc everything happened so fast, but upon mention of her mother still stuck in the archives, bo-berry immediately hopped on her staff and flew smartly between the falling stars to find her mother.

PARFAEDIA

after the events in the city of wizards episode, blueberry pie decided to let her daughter go. she cant keep her here for much longer, not when her place is out there in the world. so she sends her to parfaedia institute, where she can learn and grow as a magic enthusiast and a young cookie with other students her age.

she soon became friends with cream puff cookie and coffee bean cookie ( @deliberatingwthecookiecouncil's oc ! ). cream puff is an anxiety train, coffee bean is a sarcastic nerd, and bo-berry is a silly little menace. theyre perfect for each other.

such a strong desire for knowledge leads to bo-berry feeling like the structured education she receives in the institute is not enough. she craves for more magic in this world.

thus, she goes out of her dormitory at most nights to explore the magic city, knowing theres way more to this place. she uses her illusion magic to sneak in to houses, rummaging through their treasury for anything of use to her.

this soon becomes a thing she does at night, and more cookies seem to be aware of this mysterious thief. the m.e.h. department is also having trouble identifying the thief responsible for the disturbance. though, one cookie finally caught her in the act.

"hold on, you're not phantom bleu! but, no matter. i, detective walnut cookie, have caught you in the act, thief!"

[omegasmileyface]

may not apply to anybody else but

some notes from my experience gradually becoming more involved with the world immediately around me

(as someone who never got involved in a social life or communities of any sort as a kid and moved a lot and now lives in the middle of nowhere)

taking walks lets me see the houses close to mine and what sort of things they come with (sports team merch, outdoors equipment, political signs, food gardens, etc.)

it also lets me see resources around me. i wouldnt know that there was an open community garden and a storage center just down the street without lookin around on walks

(you can also look around while driving! less time to ruminate but still some)

my state's PBS channel does a ton of local news and documentary coverage! theyre available for free online! its a good place to start

newspapers can be hard to keep up with and also sad if theyre as political as the one here, but they still have relevant stuff

my town and the closest city both have websites, and event newsletters! like, by email!

sometimes things you have zero interest in on their own can be important in your community. .....specifically, im talking about sports. a lot of people like sports by their own right and thats great for them but personally i have never been able to give a shit. ESPECIALLY high school sports (or school spirit in general), which happens to be pretty much The Biggest Thing in a whooole lot of american communities. im currently learning that you can engage a little in the high school sports scene without meaningfully caring the vast majority of the time! ...i havent quite figured out HOW yet, but i know its possible. step one is small talk when people say something about the teams, i guess. or superficially saying you hope Local Team wins State or whatever. the community involvement can be more fun than the actual sport! i spent a lot of words on this one but its a big one to me idk

browsing little stores is one of my favorites. even if you dont actually care what theyre selling. just walking around, making small talk with the employees/owner if youre able to, stuff like that

see if there just happens to be what you want. i have a bad habit of just ASSUMING that they dont have anything here. "i live in the middle of nowhere, of course theres no food not bombs division / punk scene / parkour studio / improv theater" ... its worth actually checking lol. like, recently i learned that theres... well, ok, theres no public transportation. but theres this shuttle service that works between a couple stops a few hours a week thats KINDA like public transportation!

talk to people. its so hard its so hard if you have autism or social anxiety or no practice or a lot of fears or all of the above (hi) and im also sure youve heard it a million times but its usually worth trying

use cash if youre shopping locally. idk it keeps the community independent or whatever. also keeping cash on you is a good habit, since youre gonna want to be giving buskers and homeless people and such money whenever possible. and thats waaay easier with cash.

bank locally? and other such... necessary expenses. if possible! as everything tends toward monopolization its hard to have control over who does your banking or electricity or insurance or what have you. im lucky to live in montana, basically the only state where independent banks thrive. still, worth looking around and seeing what you can do

......i really cant overstate the power of the websites (town chamber of commerce website, local news station website, local radio station website) and newspapers as hubs for finding more stuff. a lot of the time, theyll have little 2 sentence blurbs that tell you that something exists, and then you can look that thing up on its own and maybe find a phone number or a mailing list.

last one ok i havent tried this one out on my own bc im scared (reminder that this is not an instructional post this is an observation of my own experience) but i have a theory that dating apps are a good place to find people your age in your area. they might be upset that youre trying to connect with them as acquaintances on a service literally meant for romance, but... well, they dont exactly have anything like it for friends. (nothing mainstream enough to actually work, anyway.)

also this is gonna sound dumb but look at posters and fliers

[reaperkiller]

[breaks down your door] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 10 and 13 for jason and marcus >:]

ALREADY ANSWERED 1 BUT. if necessary i could go into so much more detail. i could i really could i WONT but i could.

2. How’s their team work? Do they share well?

at first, they didn't even try to work together, or even really listen to each other - even though they are in this TOGETHER, with no one else to help them for a good while. then, it was like. god fine i'll work with you but only because we share a common goal. which finally made them break down the first barrier they both had up, which lead to them actually liking each other. but obviously neither of them would admit that for a WHILE. now, they work together VERY well. theyre so in tune with each other they don't even need to speak half the time, just one knowing glance, a nod, and they're on it, perfectly in sync.

the sharing is the same, they REFUSED at first but now??? marcus takes also jason's clothes,, jason cannot stop him. theyre way too big for him but he looks too cute so. jason just has to learn to deal with it

3. Are they open about their relationship? How do they feel about public displays of affection?

DEFINITELY yes. they were a bit shy at first* (*very shy like my GOD they couldnt even look each other in the eye) but then they gradually got comfortable with being out and about, holding hands, a little kiss every now and again. the power and ego trip they both experience by yelling "that's my BOYFRIEND you bitch" before starting a fight?? unparalleled.

4. First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?

can't go into too much detail with it all yet bc that's exactly what i'm writing at the moment and i don't wanna spoil all of it <3 but it wasn't love at first sight at all, marcus was scared of him because he's tall, freakishly strong, very cold, an asshole, and generally. very angry and unpleasant person. and marcus did not want to be stuck with him. he was also scared bc, with marcus being able to see ghosts + undead stuff, jason had an extremely Weird vibe that marcus had never seen before, and it really freaked him out

as for jason, he saw marcus and was like, this is the most pathetic looking little guy ever. he can't even throw a punch. he's looking at me and he's about to start crying. do i have to babysit this little freak??? my boyfriend cheated on me with THIS??? jesus christ. how pathetic am i. and then. well. marcus's whole existence gave him even more self-esteem issues HFSJHGHJ

5. Nicknames? Pet names? Any in-jokes?

as i write more and fine-tune their relationship, i'll definitely have a better answer for this. but i do still have Something!!! jason used to call marcus 'big guy' and 'casanova' a lot when they started being a little less hostile to each other, sometimes also throwing in the occasional "honey" and "babycakes", bc marcus's reaction to those two specifically made him laugh. again he wouldnt admit it. but it really did make him go. omg... i.. orythfg aAaaaaa. it broke him internally every time but that didn't stop him. there's also a whole thing about a swear jar, because jason will NOT stop swearing at all ever, he sprinkles at least 5 swears in every sentence. WHAT a guy.

6. Any tasks that are always left to one person?

answered this one too AAAA

8. What do the like best about their partner?

jason is head over heels in love with marcus's smile and laugh. and the two of them together??? he melts. he gets weak at the knees he CANNOT deal with it. even after they've been together for years, it still makes him flustered <3 also his eyes, his freckles,,, how he's so SO talented like. the most talented guy he's ever seen he CANNOT get over it. just. even the way he simply exists in the world has jason on the floor. and the moustache. he says he hates it but like. it's one of his favourite things about marcus 1000%

marcus also loves jason's smile, that's the first thing he noticed about him - the first sign that he was actually breaking through the front jason had up and was getting through to the real thing. his resillience, with the amount of things he's been through, and the fact he's still going?? he's Amazed. he had already been in love with him for a while up until this point but when he heard him play guitar for the first time, which was also the first time where jason was 100% authentically himself??? he could have kissed him and married him and ran away with him right then and there. but he DIDNT bc they werent even TOGETHER and he still thought jason didnt like him all that much. ALSO HIS HANDS. JASON'S HANDS ARE SO IMPORTANT TO HIM. I COULD WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT IT.

10. Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public?

jason (unfortunately) drives, marcus mostly does the cooking, but jason is getting better at trying to help <3 they both do varying levels of handiwork, both share cleaning tasks + bills too i guess idk!! THEY LIKE DOING THINGS TOGETHER and theyre both a little stupid so they need to use their combined braincell to get anything done. jason mostly handles anything with being out in Public and talking to people, bc he's tall and intimidating so no one will ever try shit with him or marcus. he HAS to protect his short bf at all costs

13. What do they do for fun? Do they have a favorite activity or do they like to switch things up?

i know i already answered this but i'm thinking about how they make music together again. and. aruthfghjd. when i said about them travelling?? they take as MANY pictures as they possibly can and put them all in a photo album. they LOVE photo albums. and scrapbooking. this fact is VERY important to me

[firebuug]

for the weird questions for writers thing: obligatory 6 9 4 and 20 bc funny. but for like actual questions 17 and 18

do not test me i will answer them all. my answers r below the cut LOL

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

tbh? that people read it and go “oh. uh. this is uh. cringe” or that they totally read it thru the wrong lens. like if someone looked at a piece where i poured my inner anxieties and feelings into and they went “wow so they just wanted this character to be whiny for a sec huh.” bc tbh in the end ya thats what it is its a silly character saying funny thing but also like i never ever do that. if i do that and SHOW U that writing then i am trusting you with my life and my cringe and my life essence a—

also just being obviously inexperienced lol. i dont write professionally and dont intend to its just for funzies but am still self conscious anywayz

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

yes ever since i was little i tried to let any ghost who may live in my house know i am its friend by sticking my foot out before bed and promising i wouldnt tell anyone if they could read my mind. my aunts had a haunted house and they went full investigator mode and somehow came to the conclusion it was their relative who wanted a last birthday party, so they threw a party for the ghost and all poltergeist activity stopped in their house

also related to writing but my friend’s WIP rn is literally titled He Doesn’t Believe In Ghosts

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

ive been writing the word Prestidigitation a lot bcuz dnd and i fucking HATE THAT WORD i cant even pronounce it i hate it die die die. also medival or mideival or whateve rthe fuck its spelled i hate that word

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

. ok so im not a big writer so the only wips ive got goin on are a self indulgent band au psychoanalysis piece, a hypothetical comic con murder mystery and the forever cancelled zombie apocalypse story i wrote from elementary to middle school w my ocs. and tbh i would kill to see the comic con murder mystery completed just to read it myself so i would take that offer. but also it isnt a WIP but if i could have that witch rewrite the juggernaut event for me as the epic cinematic arpg video and writing combination thing i pictured it as id give her my life

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

UM um well. i dont have any plot for murder mystery and my band au is just. oc story that i can ramble about whenever but . my zombie apocalypse was the funniest shit. i played this for serious and i love how apeshit my imagination was back then. the lore was that a zombie virus happened bc the ceo of an evil company’s fail brother locked himself underground on accident and in the period which he was stuck in there tried to make himself a friend. but it corrupted and became a zombie and killed him and escaped. and the world got so bad that the scientists found a planet and named it Earth 2 and everyone got on there except for a bunch of everyday average people including our cast. and now. they r forced to survive. i published it frequently on deviantart journals and still have it on my google drive, sometimes i used to read it to get inspired to make apeshit stories for fun, but i havent in a while

8. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end.

does. does this mean like a snippet from my own writing? UHH a lot of my writing is oc stuff that i work into their stories but let me try and pull up something old that actually has a chance of having backstory to it HAHAJK

ok all i found was this from a Splatoon writing which i thot was funny because of the context of Buggy seeing a totally abandoned, empty subway station and still INSISTING on not hopping the ticket scanner or whatever. help. like i dont have any commentary i just wanted u to see this. :

“Just hop over it,” he remembered Skuggy telling him, “nobody cares.” Buggy felt too bad about it, though, and got him to lend him his old card anyways. He reached into his pockets for the said card and stuck it into the slot. The little dusty screen on top of the gate showed a little spinny loading circle before a light shone green and he was let in.

whatever. anyways instead ill spit fun fax about the juggernaut story writing event arpg thing bc i um. i um. i . i. i . @im-hiding22 its bad compared to my writing now but it was sillyfun

- i did not actually intend for buggy to kill farrow i intended for it to be a fake-out and for farrow to scramble to life right when the juggernaut approached or whatevs. but when all my friends went insane like he did die i thought “wouldnt it be funny if he died fr”

- i was intending on mendel to be the first death under the jugg’s hands because itd be cool for the creation to get revenge in its creator and for the story to be everyone trying to fix mendel’s mistakes themselves and possibly bring him back. but i could not imagine anything thatd reverse his mistakes in a satisfying way so i scrapped and rewrote it

- literally only wrote the stupid loredump radio broadcast cuz i had finished reading the nightvale novel

- 80% of the most fun i had from that and the most story-impacting decisions came from my friends sending asks, and seeing my friends actively wanting to participate and speculate on something i was writing was literally the most touching thing i have ever felt in my life. im reliving that high by running a dnd campaign in which now i can focus on telling my friends’ stories and intertwining them with my own

ok bye. this was 3 years long, im giving you a brownie if you read this far because youre incredible! all of the old writing i posted here can be found under the ;writing hashtag which will be tagged here :D if u. ever wanna see cringe splatoon or town of salem oc fanfic LOLL

[private-bowling-ball]

i keep talking about this but the 4kids yugioh dub is so bad and i like the noises that my keyboard makes so im gonna start ranting and blabbing about yugioh gx and stuff, i dont kow what will come of this i cannot forsee it. in the yugioh gx 4kids dub they got rid of a WHOLE ASS SEASON!!! and i was like, "they fucking killed judai? that make no scense?" bc 4kids doesnt kill people i think and also the 4kids on piece dub, im not even going to say anything i hate it way too much i cannot express it in words. and also a little bit gay i think bc yubel is a spirit and therefore has no gender so is gender nutreal or non'binary i dont know muck about the lgbtq community and differences between certain things sorry. but they cut out the entire season 4 wich gives alot more johan who i have a massive cruch on and i bet that whoever is reading this f anyone does than they'll be like wouldnt that make you gay? well im a gay 16 year old male and im actually bi wich means i like both genders and i laugh when i see torture and gory scenes in anime like when kaneki was being tortured by yamori i just thought the concept of a toe bucket was funny bc he was putting kanekis toes in a bucket i really like typing about things on my mind and it feels really good bc i like the keyboard noises and i already said that but no one is gonna read this so aklso hwenebver i watch a anime i set my heart on a ship at the very beginging if their's anything promising and then i see the chareters evolve a nd see if it would still work or work better and i thing that in bl animes should be more direct some times and when the seaon two of yuri on ic ecoems out im gonna fucking die bc the people making it might make ships more cannon and my gay ass gets to see more of pilitski and is it just me or when yuri is wearing his glasses does he look kinga like fiuery from fma and fmag im aware that i spelled his name wrong but i dont know how to spell it so that sucks for me i keep writing about loosely related topiccs and i looked into yugioh gx 4kids dub more and i found out that they were dubbing it wthout paying or without concesnt and then htey got sued by the original company making the yugioh anime so they had to cut off seasson 4 and give i ta shitty ending and i really hate sho hes a stupid asshol and hes stupid and also theirs a guy in beyblade name sho i think and he did a thiing with his hair one time and that made my 9 yer old self feel gay wich i am 16 now i just watched that when i was nine and i was denying tthat i was attracted to a male charecter and i ememebetr when i was twleve i watched death note for the first time and i thought misa was hot and i was thibking that ii wanted to band her so bad, i was a really impure child wich i sitll am a minor but my best frieng jessie s two years older than me so he isnnt and also yknow judai from yugioh gx? well hanako from toilet boung hanako kiuns blue ghosty orby thingy is called haaku-joudai or somehing like that and i fing hanakos mental state very interesting to rad about and im buying the manga nad im so damn exited i read it onling eaarlier on crunchyroll nd i dindnt finish the manda but ive seen he anime three times and i noticed that hanako has the same sub voice actor as izuku midoriya from my hero acedamia and i thought that that was cool and i should stop ive been writing for over tn minutes and i keep a little record of my anime ants and me typing about stuff on my phone wich is difficult to type on bc its an old flip phone wich reminds me of this old show i used to watch aboutdragons that ate flipphoes and i forgot the rest but im using my family's computer rn and im not on my account so i should fuck off by :)

[minkkumaz]

favorite anon,, hehe. ur my fav writer!! im so happy i discovered ur fics,, interactions with you are always so sweet!!

but

YOUR OT6 MASTERLIST. I GASPED ONCE I SAW IT. twirling + swinging my feet. this feeling reminds me of waiting for the bonedo comeback.

first of all, CUPID SUNGHO. CUPID SUNGHO ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ firm believer cupid sungho wears glasses just because!!! before shooting his shots he definitely pushes up his glasses to get a precise shot.

medusa reader and human riwoo has me tearing up. the amount of angst that could be made up will BREAK me. like what if reader just wants to watch riwoo dance and perform but they cant get too close because they dont want to make riwoo loose his bright future ☹️☹️☹️

ZOMBIE READER? me and jaehyun could be zombies together 🤞🤞 stop but what if jaehyun was a scientist who could really help out the reader.. or like jaehyun and the reader were childhood friends when a zombie apocalypse appeared and watching his best friend get turned into a zombie made him dedicate his life and future to turning them back.. scientist/researcher jaehyun 💭 (i just wanna see jaehyun in a labcoat tbh)

VAMPIRE TAESAN HAD ME JUMPING UP AND DOWNNNNN. hes literally THE vampire ever. i 100% love the mysterious, weirdo social outcast taesan who’s secretly a vampire… (thinking abt how the reader could be a total geek and nerd when it comes to supernaturals)

PFKFKKDKD MERMAID LEEHAN. leehan and his fish pals :)))) LMAO but like ur so true leehan is legit the 🧜‍♂️ emoji. I CANT STOP THINKING ABT HOW BEAUTIFUL HE’D BE UNDER WATER LIKE IK HIS HAIR IS GONNA BE FLOWEINNGG. (plottwist, leehans a siren and ends our life </3)(its okay cause its leehan)

BUT OUT OF ALL IM SO SO SO EXCITED FOR ALIEN READER AND WOONHAK!! ACK i keep thinking about how Woonhaks a regular highschool student, and his new alien friend helps him study at night using their antennas as a nightlight HAHA. imagine the two just tucked under a blanket reading a book together with the light source as the antenna.

im seriously so excited for all of them it really feels like a bonedo comeback LMAO. the things i wrote were just little ideas. im definitely excited for anything you’re gonna be putting out!!

-🍉

ditto! interacting with you has been my fav i love hearing your opinions on my works and stuff you're so sweet :,< i'm so glad you're excited for my series omg i feel honored that i'm on the same level as waiting for a bonedo comeback ><

i giggled so hard when you said sungho adjusts his glasses to look at his shot LOLL that thought is so funny to me bc hes so majestic but the idea of that is so nerdy HAHSKHSB

trust me.. riwoo's will have a lot of angst. THAT IS ALL I WILL ELABORATE ONE! shoutout to woonhakist aka my bae for the medusa and cupid idea :3

zombie reader w human jaehyun was probably one of my smartest ideas like i literally have the plot on lockdown and i'm expecting tears from everyone that reads it because i'm having trouble properly breathing at the mere idea of it. LET ME COOK!!!!

i'm gonna base vampire taesan off of a kdrama i watched! NOT PINPOINT ACCURATE TO THE PLOT BUT THE IDEA!! not saying which one quite yet, but i'll probably namedrop in the a/n portion once i actually publish it :) if you know which drama im talking about when you see it, you might have an idea of what the ending will be so i kinda hope people don't know ^^;

and no fr literally this whole series wouldnt exist if i didnt start working on mermaid leehan like a month ago. i was thinking about it.. then i wrote it.. and im like halfway done and the wordcount is literally sickening its so long.. but i can confirm that leehan is described very beautifully bc hes just THAT majestic. got me hyperventilating n shit. (i will not confirm nor deny your plot twist) (anything that happens is okay bc its leehan)

I AM ALSO SO SOSOSOSO EXCITED FOR ALIEN READER AND WOONHAK I'M BASING IT OFF OF 'I DO'!! so honestly most of what you're thinking about is pretty accurate (i might steal that antenna nightlight idea thats actually so cute and so smart wtf) (with credits to my sweet melon anon)

i'm even more inspired to write this now hehe you gave me motivation!!! get your tissue boxes ready for october because HINT!! they will all be very angsty :3

[cielospeaks]

and this time for the real yr in review!

statistics:

grade- no grade babyyy im an adult (but no. im working. lol)

how i spent birthday- actually did something for once! got together w a friend and went to the conan cafe + conan movie! it was fun!

first date to come to mind- oh its gotta be jan 18

why?- using expert (average) strategy i had calculated it to be my only day to go to nwh at an imax theater in order to get the past 8:00 discount and the free stickers. turned out i had work which i wasnt told abt but that was ok bc like i said the movie was at 8. went leisurely shopping in seria and went to royal host tho i had no appetite bc of nwh hype and also i was reading death on the nile. then the imax show was amazing and i still have the stickers, they are my prized possession

something u gave up- i think i gave up caring abt fgo plot bc it all sucks lol. but actually i switched jobs. turned out it was not better, but not worse. absolutely necessary but there are still problems. but thats for me this year to figure out.

someone hot- like :/ how you gotta tell me this. i do completely platonically think the characters from that movie were hot/attractive/nice to look at. theyre just there and im down to see their shenanigans.

best media- i really liked reading mysteries oh my gosh. also seeing the raimiverse movies at last was very good.

worst media- i think its gotta be g b f. like. g o is bad but ive known it would be bad, so its not really notably so. f e h is the same way, like b6 was bad, the tempest trial painted its protagonist in a disfavorable light, but tbh i didnt mind it bc everyone stayed in character unlike last years. g b f has characters as interesting as captain fucking nemo and messes it up. i think the one event i didnt dislike this year was the disciples one and that was just bc it was true neutral. no big bad, no “oh player character you’re so op swoons”, no hamfisted morals, no fetishizing actual problems people face irl, and thats considered a win. not like i like g b f writing considering i stopped playing around the muse event, but they messed with garebear specifically so they earn my ire.

favorite things overall- idk. i wouldnt say favorite bc its actually really frustrating but i feel like having to face more like. irl problems (like mortality, the passage of time, interpersonal strain, ect) is good for me. i dont like it ofc but i do care about people around me so for their sake and my own i need to deal with these too, rather than just get pissed off abt second rate authors of games. that being said a real favorite thing (tho even thats a little bittersweet) was def n w h. like from january to the summer at least i was on a high feeling of hype and happiness abt the story and overarching franchise. im still not a m c u enjoyer but im a huge nwh fan. oh and also things like the g b f museum and g o fest turned out to be surprisingly like. super fun! so that was great!

what ur looking forward to next yr- its up in the air now but itd be nice to get a steady job that pays decently and covers things but doesnt sign me up for things i cant afford. like that would be ideal and id like it to happen. but again idk. i guess im looking forward to seeing what the year holds, good or bad, and trying to make the most of what happens. idk i cant think of anything in particular. except junko nendoroid. oh and sal and izou standies w my gofest goods! and the conan movie! and- (cut off rambling abt fandom stuff)

[thisdreamplace]

What are your thoughts on embodiment? Also how do you do it?

love it, adore it, appreciate it. lol to me, embodiment is everything. it makes the journey easier and it makes persistance second nature. (persistance = continuing to exist) focusing on embodiment allows you to do that more easily. because now the focus is truly on who you are being, not what you are trying to get.

it’s kind of… the basis for everything. lol bc this world can only reflect who you are being within yourself. and that’s the reason manifestation works in the first place lol

“you are already that which you want to be. and your refusal to believe it is the only reason you do not see it.” — ng

so anyway you can approach it anyway you like, like anything. but the foundation is essentially that you allow yourself to be who you want to be. so for example, let’s say it’s your desire to have your dream life. (this one is the easiest because you hit everything at once, but you could go desire by desire if you actually wanted to). so the biggest thing is: okay, i am living my dream life now. how do i feel ? what do i think about ? how do i face triggers ? how do i interact with others ? how do i go about my daily life ?

i want to emphasize how this is all about the inner. bc i know sometimes people see stuff like this and they’re like “??? well if i had my dream life i wouldnt be going to school/work everyday” like tru. but that’s where you currently are because at one point you imagined it that to be your truth and now it’s the current fact. so don’t use it as an excuse — just accept it and focus on embodying the ideal anyway.

“let the facts remain. they’ll dissolve. they’ll all dissolve because you’re going to remain faithful and occupy the state.” — ng

the state is embodied by you !

so for an example of this, embodiment is knowing/living in the end. it’s the present tense inner world state of being who you want to be, without needing the outer world to confirm your inner self before you allow yourself permission to feel it’s who you are.

to get this out way, let’s say you are in an undesirable situation.

1) accept it and allow the fact you don’t like it. maybe you even hate it. accept that and feel it.

2) move on from using it as an excuse. sure you wake up everyday and your world isn’t exactly your ideal, but you’re experiencing it now because you experienced it within before (like already mentioned) so just accept responsibility.

3) look at your daily life from the lens of “ah, these days aren’t going to last forever. let me enjoy it while it lasts because [insert affirmation here]” like i talked to someone once who wants to be a model and shared this method with her and she was like, “let me enjoy it while it lasts because as a model i don’t have time to be home as much” or whatever. no, this doesnt take you out of the end. it’s no different than a senior in high school savouring the final year because they know this is it. that doesn’t stop them from graduating. this method is really good for the hard days or if you’re a person who’s in a position that your daily life is more difficult for you to enjoy.

or, just experience each moment while knowing who you really are. knowing each passing moment is simply a passing moment, while carrying within you your fulfilled promise.

so that’s how you get beyond the “but but my 3d sucks” mindset. making peace with it will make everything much easier. you don’t have to like it, but you’re currently living with it so do yourself a favor and let that reality fade by no longer breathing life into it.

some key things to embodiment are -> how do i respond to triggers and how do i interact with people. everyone loves to say just ignore the 3d or whatever, but to me that never made sense (because i am made to live it everyday)/added resistance. so anyway, get clear on how you deal with these types of things and you’ll find yourself doing really well. after i started embodying the person i want to be in those type of situations, i started experiencing more effortless shifts than ever. no “ignoring the 3d” required.

for example, the version of you living their dream life doesn’t lose it over getting triggered. why ? bc all is already well in their world. instead, the breathe and allow themselves to feel it and let it pass. because the trigger doesn’t make their life suddenly disappear lol and you’re embodying the person who is already living the way you wish. so to me, this is an important one to ask yourself for sure.

and that’s really all there is to it. to me, this is the true self concept work. but ofc everyone has their own way. this is how you take manifesting to the next level though, where it becomes a lifestyle. you really start to experience wonderful things you didnt even intend for when you begin embodying your ideal version of yourself. because for that person everything is always working out, life is for you. and as a result, you get to experience that effortless loveliness without. but it all begins within <3

this was so long omg. but i hope it helps and makes it clear on what exactly you do ? i kind of tried to include things i experienced along the way and how to deal with them. it really all begins with answering those kinds of questions, then making an effort to embody the answers everyday. it’s a daily practice. also this article dives into this topic more too. 🌤💙