#if you saw this uploaded without a signature no you didn’t

[breannasfluff]

April Showers

Inspired by that one scene in Totoro. Discord banner for the month.

[crystcrm]

Hiii!! Today marks the eventful return of Bones Anon. The last thing you wrote for me was absolutely fucking fantastic I still keep going back to read it!!

I see you've been writing a lot of genshin lately but I've never played that game so I am going back to Pokemon.

I want to steal Raihan's big hoodie so fucking bad. I just think it would be so comfy. I know I can buy one irl but I'm a broke bitch™ and it's usually too hot to justify wearing a sweater where I live.

So, if you're willing to write it, perhaps a nice little fic of Raihan discovering his bf enjoys snatching his hoodie? And deciding that he is very willing to go without his signature hoodie just to let him wear it.

Bonus points for fluffy shenanigans w/ Raihan teasing the reader and the reader snarking right back?? Just two smug bastards being smug to eachother (affectionately)

Bonus bonus points if reader is also tall as fuck and the hoodie actually fits them, because I see a whole lot of short reader and I want more rep for my lanky ass!! /j

Anyways thank u in advance I think ur cool as fuck

- 🦴

wahoo !! hello hello, bones anon ! ♡♡

truth be told, i already wrote this a long time ago, a while after i first saw it, but my uploading motivation went down the drain >< i've mostly been lurking on tumblr a lot and reading loads of things, but today i am here to do this ask justice by sifting in my docs and pouring out what you've asked for!

never steal from a dragon, but i'll do it anyway! ;; raihan x male reader

contents ;- fluff , sfw , established romantic relationship , tall reader ! , playful banter , please do not leave the stove unattended while cooking ^^;

proofread by @elvenxwarrior , who made sure the fic was "sufficiently british" ! ♡

Galar was peaceful these days to say the least, with Eternatus being captured and a new champion rising to the throne, there’s a lot that has changed. But it was still all the same, with beautiful days to be lived out, and a multitude of things to do. Be it befriend the Pokemon that were in the wild, or find incredible treasures on a long lasting journey. Or, perhaps, run a gym in a big city.

Morning sun rose over the streets of Hammerlocke, a beautiful city with a brilliant feel. All visitors would marvel at the architecture, from the middle aged stone walls to the historical lineage behind it. But in every city, there are homes- and today, we zoom in on a cosy little den- yours!

After much contemplation, you’ve decided to make a home in this city, for one very obvious reason.

Golden rays peeked through the blinds, day barely beginning but you’re already begging for a few more minutes in. It seems someone could agree, soft snores coming from none other than the city’s gym leader himself- Raihan, who laid next to you. His arms loosely wrapped around your body, holding you close as you could only suffer in silence, succumbing to his comforting grip paired with his almost ridiculous sleeping habits.

Perhaps it was because he dealt with dragons, or because he was always busy with something- be it training, or working out. Maybe he’s tired himself out to the point of dropping dead asleep the moment his head hits the pillow every night, or he’s swallowed too much sand in those sandstorms he conjured up in the stadium ( his mouth was always open, never shut even during those moments- it’s a wonder how he hasn’t gotten any in his lungs by now )… Or perhaps it’s only around you that he finds a moment of peace to just let go of all of his worries and simply enjoy the moment.

You weren’t exactly doing anything- you were merely just another trainer, but you were lucky enough to snatch away the heart of this untamed dragon. Perhaps, you could say that was the first thing you ever stole from him. Because you weren’t about to stop now!

Thanks to Raihan being such a deep sleeper, you easily slipped out of his hold. It was a lazy day today- the gym didn’t have to be open, but it probably wouldn’t stop your energetic boyfriend from rushing over there as soon as he got the chance. So, you decided to take it slow for now, because if it came down to it, you could definitely convince him to just relax for the day.

First matter of the day was simply getting ready, heading straight to the bathroom to take care of yourself. Morning bed hair? Fixed with a quick combing through. Smelly breath? Gone with a simple brush. Clothes?

…Clothes always proved to be the most difficult thing of the morning. What exactly would you wear today? The Hammerlocke City Gym Leader seemed to rub off on you, now taking into account what you’d wear for the day more often than not. Right now, you just stood there in your pyjamas- and that should change really quickly. But what would you wear after?

Returning to your currently shared bedroom, you glanced around as though a new sight might help jog up those brain cells to work a bit better. Well, there was the bare back of your boyfriend, a blanket barely covering him up as he found a pillow to replace your missing warmth. He had such defined muscles, yet you weren’t here to gawk. But the sight alone gave you what you thought was a brilliant idea. Your eyes scanned the room a little further, catching sight of the familiar piece of clothing on the floor of your room.

Raihan’s hoodie.

Oh, this was perhaps his own treasure that nobody has ever seen him without. Well, nobody but you of course. But now it was time for it to be stolen away- It feels just like that one series you saw before, where a group of thieves steal away one’s treasure to change their hearts! But you’re not here to change his heart of course, you’d prefer if his heart stayed yours, as yours remained his.

You spared the sleeping Raihan one last glance before smirking, immediately putting on the nice hoodie after tossing your pyjama shirt off. It fit quite nicely around you, but that was merely because you were just shy of the gym leader’s height. It was a blessing, really, because it meant you didn’t have to get on your tiptoes just to kiss him, or he didn’t have to bend down to an atrociously low level just to meet your eyes. Then again, it’s not like he isn’t used to crouching down- I mean, you’ve seen his battle stance, whenever he gets a little heated in the middle of a match. It’s a little hot, you could say, but since when is he not?

Now, it was time to carry on with your day, singing praises for your beloved boyfriend could come later!

Next came breakfast, and what better breakfast than… well, a big one? It was common for you and your boyfriend to eat your fill. After all, he needed all the energy to get through his day, and to start it all with a nice boost was great! Thankfully, your fridge was stocked with all sorts of things that you both liked, but it seemed today, the flour in your cabinets and eggs in your fridge called for you- the decision was made in your head, it’s time to make waffles! And as if that wasn’t enough, you pulled out the sausages from the freezer, and a few other things to make a not-so-lazy-but-still-kinda-lazy breakfast. At this point, could you even call it that? Oh, who gives a damn.

“ ‘tuuun…” The low rumble of a certain Pokemon sounded from below you, a beloved Appletun- your beloved Appletun, actually. It seems that she finally woke up from her own slumber, coming to check out what you were doing. Fortunately, you had just placed the kettle to brew, or else you might’ve tripped over the poor thing. Having a moment to spare, you decided to give her a little treat, and of course some much deserved pets before continuing to cook away some good breakfast.

It wasn’t until much later when a bunch of delightful smells filled your house did you hear a loud yawn from your room. It was quite obvious who it was, and you could only roll your eyes at how late he woke up. But it’s no matter, you would much prefer it this way, after all. Not long after, you finally heard his footsteps, and it was nice that he decided to actually get up and see you. You could only laugh to yourself over that, looking after a few things in the pan to make sure they didn’t burn.

“Hey, babe, have you seen my hood… ie,” that familiar voice slowly died down as he stepped right into the open space, eyes widening the best they can whilst still somewhat groggy and in much need of some more time with you. “...Stealin’ from me, ay?” A shirtless Raihan questioned, snorting a little as his eyes scanned you up and down. This was quite the unusual sight for him, but it… wasn’t unwelcome at all.

“Yer’ callin’ me a thief? I think you should check who left it lyin’ on my floor,” Your soft laughter filled the air, leaving the stove for a moment to get the hot water into a mug with a tea bag. “Tell ya’ what, I’ll trade you a cup of tea for it, eh, ehhh?” Doing your best to sound convincing, you held out the nice mug of tea to him. It was your favourite mug at that, actually, and you would never use it to serve anyone else. By your right mind, this was a mighty fine trade!

“I dunno… You still took it from me, y’know,” Raihan’s gaze sharpened momentarily, deciding that if anything, he might as well try. I mean, he’s done that a lot, trying despite many fruitless attempts. By many, you could say exactly ten.

“And I’m offerin’ something to you in return! Fair’s fair.”

“No ‘s not.”

“Yes it is.”

It was now a somewhat endless back and forth, both of you repeating the same thing as neither of you wanted to give up. Was it tiring? Not at all. You could do this all day with him. Actually, you probably did this everyday with him, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. After a moment of contemplation, you finally decided to up the deal to something he can’t refuse…

“Fine, a nice cuppa’ aaand… a kiss from yours truly..~” You hummed, wiggling your eyebrows as though that was the best deal you could ever possibly give him. And truth be told, it was. You don’t think there was ever a day that his lips didn’t touch yours, except for the days before you started dating. It was the perfect pick up for him, maybe even better than a cup of tea alone.

“Hmm, you have yourself a convincing trade offer, babe,” Raihan crossed his arms as you slowly approached with your favourite mug in hand. That sweet smile on your face was something he wanted to wipe off, but only in one specific way.

“So? Made up yer’ mind or am I keeping my lips to myself?” You questioned almost impatiently, a hand on your hip as you set the mug down on the countertop nearby. Before you knew it, he had his arms around your waist, coming up oh so close to you.

With his eyes slowly fluttering shut, Raihan leaned in. He’s memorised everything, from how long it takes to get his lips to yours, to how to fit his arms around you.

“Takin’ my kiss first,” He proclaimed right before dipping his head down a little, his lips meeting yours. It was sweet and tender, just like any other time. Sure, he was wild and maybe a little reckless at times, but when you were in his arms, he found a way to let himself soften up a bit. He loved you to bits, after all.

Your arms wound around him in return, savouring the lovely morning you were having. It was a great day already, especially with the delicious view you were having. Soon your hands wandered a little, and you could feel him chuckle against your lips.

“Hands off the merchandise,” his eyes fluttered open with a soft laugh, followed by a mischievous snicker of your own when he swatted away your hands. “Greedy lil’ bugger,” He added, but you both knew that you were his greedy lil’ bugger.

“Oh, you know you love it,” You rolled your eyes, laughter definitely a bit too loud for the morning, but you couldn’t care less.

Raihan grabbed his tea, pretty much gulping it down despite the lack of sugar in it. It was already a bit cold, so there’d be no use in putting in any anyway. “I love it just as much as I like you in that, y’know,” the gym leader commented, eyes sweeping up and down your figure once again in the most obvious manner. He just really wanted you to know that he was checking you out, because goddamn, he’s wondering why he didn’t lend you any of his spare hoodies before this. “Guess I can go without the hoodie for the day.”

“Oh, for real?” Almost amused, you had to just make sure. Raihan simply nodded again, coming up to sneak an arm around your waist once more as he pressed his lips to your head and–

Click!

“Oi–?!” The sound of the shutter going off meant only one thing. Your head turned, whipping around to see Raihan’s Rotom phone flying behind you as it just took a picture. That sneaky lil-

“Aaand posted!” The gym leader chuckled as he dove in once more, pressing another quick kiss to your cheek. “And that’s another two kisses I stole from you, heh,” He snickered away, quietly shutting off any notifications from the post he just uploaded. He’ll deal with people questioning that he’s not single later, when he’s done messing with his lovable boyfriend.

“What the ‘ell!?” You weren’t mad at all, really, but you were really bewildered by the fact that he just did that. You expected many things, but that was not one of them.

“Ha! Look at yer’ face right now..!” He laughed a little more, before pulling out something that his silly brain could come up with. “Don’t be mad now, darling,” he paused, the nickname that he calls you when he likes to tease slipping past his lips. “Just wanted to show the world that I’m not on the market, y’know. Because someone stole my hoodie and… my heart.”

Oh, well, there was another thing you didn’t expect. Sure, you two had your playful little fights every now and then, but Raihan never failed to be smooth when he needed to be, and it always left you a little speechless.

“I… you… wh–”

But before you could actually get any words out, an annoying beep resounded from over the stove. You turned over to check and…

Shit.

Well, there goes breakfast.

Now you had to scramble over and salvage what you can, and being a wee bit of a useless bugger himself, Raihan simply stood there and laughed it off. Oh, he’ll see who’s laughing when you decide to ‘‘steal’’ from him again.

[sharuruwrites]

Your Answer (Pt.1)

Summary: Which of the following simple phrases that can change someone's life? Take a guess.

A.) I love you B.) You matter C.) I'm sorry

Timeline: Gojo - 26, Shion - 25

Tags: Can get very angsty at the start and near the end, Gojo (annoyingly/adoringly), Shion being a Tsundere, Fluff, Shoko being tired of her friends' oblivious acts,

Words: 4.1k+

A/n: HEEEYYYYY, I'm back from my unannounced 4 month hiatus. Don't worry, this author is fighting tooth and nail with writer's block on a daily basis. Anyways, it was supposed to be a Megumi-ish centered chapter but the author still hasn't grasped of his character that much to think what would he be like in his childhood with Shion around. Because of this said problem, I was duking out with writer's block, and school.

EDIT: I kept forgetting to upload this chapter since January because my stuff doesn't show up unless its morning.

Special thanks to zark or xerox-candybar for beta reading this chapter because as always, she did a wonderful job.

Disclaimer: I don't own JJK

Masterlist

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

---------------------------------

One morning, a lone special grade sorcerer, Shion Gojo, spent some time in the quiet halls of the school library. Shion had long forgotten the opened book in her hand along with the untouched tea she made earlier. Instead of reading, she focused on the cherry petals falling like light rain from the nearby window.

‘It’s been 10 years since I’ve met Satoru, huh?’ Shion thought.

“Are you by yourself?” 

Shion turned her attention towards the direction of the voice, and it was Shoko. Much to Shion’s surprise, the ever-present dark circles on the doctor’s face weren't there. If Shion wasn’t mistaken, the last time she saw Shoko without them was before she enrolled into med school. 

“Shouldn’t you be at the morgue around this time?” Shion asked, watching the latter take a seat across from her. 

“I should be,” Shoko grabbed an unlit cigarette from her inner pocket, using it to point at Shion. “But I chose not to.”

“Shoko, you- ow !”

Shoko pulled Shion’s cheek with her free hand before letting it go. “Relax, I’m responsible enough to keep on top of my medical reports, and I’m not gonna smoke.” Shoko pointed at the fire extinguisher, knowing Shion wouldn’t hesitate to use it on her. “Besides, Watanabe-sensei is covering for me, which means I actually get to take a break.”

“I forgot that he was here.” Shion rubbed her cheek to numb the pain. “I thought he was stationed permanently at Kyoto now?”

“That was supposed to be the deal since I got my license, but something changed. I don’t know much about the details other than he’s going to be here for two months.” Shoko shrugged. “Hey, as long as I get more sleep at night, I’m fine with whatever.” 

“That would explain the lack of eyebags on you.” Shion blurted, causing Shoko to pinch her friend’s cheeks again. 

“Anyways," Shoko let go of Shion’s cheek once more. "You seem to be missing Satoru after just a few days." 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Shion frowned slightly. “As you said, it’s only been five days since he left. He’ll be back from the mission in no time.”

“Then can you explain that ?” 

With her unlit cigarette, Shoko pointed at something next to Shion. Sitting next to her was a soft-looking white floppy long-eared floppy bunny, relaxing on a stack of books. 

Shion found it weird that the character was in fact a puppy, and not a rabbit. This information had caused a near-heated debate with one of the die-hard Sanrio fans at the same store. She could have sworn they're ready to kill her on the spot.

There’s nothing wrong with the said rabbit puppy plush toy. The signature black gakuran of JujuTech that the doll wore was a pain in the ass to hand stitch as she didn’t have a sewing machine. As for the blindfold, it was supposed to be white bandages, but she had leftover fabric from the uniform she made and-

Oh.

Shion shook her head in denial before turning her attention back to Shoko as the resident doctor awaited her explanation. “I still don’t see how this adorable toy correlates to me missing that long-lost member of three blind mice.”

“Gojo is right, you’re the walking definition of what ‘oblivious’ means.” Shoko lightly chuckled, seeing her friend’s face bloom into red. “However, that trait of yours is what makes two dumbasses pay special attention to you back in high school.”

Shion cleared her throat, seizing the opportunity to change the topic. “I assume you’re not here to reminisce about our high school days.” 

"Nope," Shoko replied. “ I just want to check on you. I’ve been thinking about that confession you made last year.”

"Why now?" Shion crossed her arms, suddenly guarded. 

“Time is considered to be a luxury for us, especially in this world.” Shoko paused for a second, carefully thinking about her next words as her index finger flicked the unlit cigarette. “Is it still the same? You’re still loving him because you think you have to?”

What had she said that night? Shion couldn’t remember, thanks to all that alcohol turning her mopey and shit, making her spill unspoken truths lies. The doctor didn’t have to take her confession so seriously; they were just drunken ramblings, and not meant to be accepted at face value. 

Did Shion love Gojo because–as she had said–she feels like she has to, because he deserves it? Or did she truly fall for him? 

She really wished that finding the answers for those questions would be easy, but it wasn’t. She blamed her lack of experience with love and romance. How was she supposed to know if she loved someone? It always seemed so simple in books--but despite her collection of romance novels, she had yet to truly understand it.

Some said that they knew they were in love with someone when they accepted their imperfections. They just learned to tolerate them.

Others said that that love was a gut feeling; something indescribable but recognizable as one grew older and wiser with experience. That definition certainly didn’t help at all. 

Gojo’s warmth…could she use that as her basis for understanding? Throughout the years she had known him, whenever he held her hand or hugged her, she felt safe and secure. As if he’s telling her everything would be alright.

No, it’s stupid to think that a mere touch could change everything she understood about herself. Maybe this love was purely platonic? After all, despite his hijinks, she respected him both as a person and as a sorcerer.

Shion fidgeted in her chair before placing her hand on her chest. “I do know the love I held for him is nothing more than admiration and respect. Afterall, I don’t deserve to be love and held in such-”

“Can you just stop for a sec there?” Shoko’s question interrupted Shion, the tone in her voice was laced with frustration. “Honestly, don’t you find it tiring to be so pathetic and weak-minded?”

Shoko took a deep breath, running her fingers through her hair before exhaling. 

“You know…” The doctor crossed her arms. “He can and will scorch anybody and anything that hurts you.”

The words made Shion feel time had significantly slowed. What Shoko is saying couldn’t be true, right? Of course it's not! The idea that Satoru Gojo would forsake his dreams and ideals for someone like her? That sounded like pure blasphemy. She wasn’t worth the trouble. 

And what if it were true? If anything, it would make her hate herself more than she already did. 

“That’s not true.” Shion shook her head frantically; a shaky breath was released next. “He just hasn't found a reason to end our marriage. A special someone…” 

“Really?” Shoko raised her brow, unwittingly mocking her friend. “Look me in the eye and say you’ll be fine if he falls in love with someone else.” 

Shion gulped down her nervousness, steeling her nerves as she held Shoko’s gaze. However, when she opened her mouth, nothing came out, and the long-awaited words lodged in her throat as her breathing became shallow.

Something crept into the special grade sorceress, and this ‘something’ was all too familiar to her: fear. The fear that everything she held dear would disappear from her grasp, all because she dared to acknowledge it. 

“How long will you still deny-”

“Shut up!” 

Shion’s raised voice cut through Shoko's question. 

The distressed woman hugged herself, digging her nails into her arms and shutting her eyes close. “I don’t want to hear any of it!” Shion said. “It’s not true! I don’t fucking deserve it! He deserved so much better!”

In a split second, the atmosphere became thick and heavy with tension. As Shion repeated those words like a mantra to herself, Shoko distracted herself with her own thoughts. 

To be honest, it was none of her business. Shoko didn’t even like to meddle in someone else’s affairs. However, after the stupidest choice that her friend made six years ago, Shoko decided to be neutral.

Yes, the higher-ups were a huge pain in her ass, but thinking about how to traverse through the messy and complex web of politics in the hidden world of Jujutsu was too much for her. She already had patients and cursed spirits to worry about. 

Thankfully, her role as a practitioner of reverse cursed technique saved her from the higher-ups breathing down her neck. And, to prevent future headaches or raise suspicion, she kept Gojo at arm's length. 

Call her selfish for being neutral, but isn’t everyone else? There’s no such thing as a selfless individual. Sometimes, a “random act of kindness” could be nothing more than an ego trip.

…so why was she sticking her nose into Shion’s marriage? 

Shoko would say this as many times as she needed to. It was tiring to watch Shion and Gojo’s whole charade: the two of them trying to be oblivious, denying themselves for their own sakes. 

Fuck, she needed a drink. She didn’t give a shit that it was still early afternoon. 

A constant buzzing of Shoko’s phone severed her line of thought. With her free hand, she picked up the call. 

“Hello? Yeah, I’ll be there in five.” Shoko shoved her phone back into her lab coat. “Watanabe called, and he needs me for something.” 

The sound of her friend’s voice broke Shion from her trance. Her head snapped back up, meeting Shoko’s unfazed expression. 

“Shoko, I’m-”

“Don’t apologize.” Shoko cut her off, getting up from her seat. “I pushed too hard when you’re clearly not ready to talk about it. I’ll make up to you the next time we meet.”

The clicking sounds of Shoko’s heels echoed throughout the library. With every step she made, the sound became fainter and fainter until silence had become Shion’s companion once more. She returned to stare at the seemingly endless shower of pink petals.

Somehow, the color had become dull and lifeless to her.

---------------------------------

Before she left the library with the plush toy, Shion got a call from Yaga to pay a quick visit to his office. She really hoped it’s not about the mysterious holes found in Tsukamoto’s brown fabric body. Plenty of students fell victim to it and she knew Nanami was one of those unfortunate individuals. 

Without much to anyone’s surprise, many sought for revenge on the cursed corpse, but Yaga was the only obstacle that prevented them from doing so.

"A crow came to my office with Alex's request attached to it." Yaga handed Shion a scroll. "He specifically asked for you to join him on a mission."

Shion loosened the tie around the paper before briefly scanning the contents. "Is something wrong with it? You don't usually hand-deliver my missions unless it requires extra precaution."

"Call it a gut feeling, but…" Yaga picked up the felting needle and started working on his cursed corpse's torso. "I think something bad is going to happen with this one. I suggest you think carefully before accepting Alex’s request.” 

It’s been a while since she last heard that name. Alex was an Interpol agent who worked part time as a 1st Grade Sorcerer. He mostly dealt with international cases related to curses, or suspected curses. They had last spoken about two or three months ago, after Alex had enlisted her help in Egypt. 

“YOU DIDN’T TELL ME WE’RE GONNA DEAL WITH A FUCKING BOOBY TRAP!” Shion yelled. 

As the duo ran along the steep-yet-narrow hallway, a giant boulder rolled down behind them. Their mission was supposed to be straightforward–search this tomb to investigate a ‘sickness’ plaguing a nearby village. 

She hated the heat, the constant feeling of sand in her mouth and feet, and the camels kept spitting at her even though she did nothing to gain their ire. 

But the trip became 10x worse than it already was when Alex decided to take a rest. By leaning on the pyramid’s wall, he had triggered this comical chase scene. 

“YOU SAID IT’S A SIMPLE MISSION!” 

“I THOUGHT THAT MUMMY SHIT  ISN’T REAL!” Alex retorted, seemingly about to lose his breath. "ALSO, AREN'T YOU A SPECIAL GRADE SORCERER!? WHY DON'T YOU PROVE IT!?"

While turning sharply, Shion reached for the handle of her dagger as she skidded across the limestone concrete floor, facing the incoming boulder that could have easily flattened her into a pancake.

"SHUT UP!"

She closed her eyes and opened them, her eyes turned seafoam colored as she swung her weapon towards it, digging her dagger into the solid rock surface. In a split second, the huge boulder broke into multiple pieces before into fine dust. 

She thought she could finally have peace in her husband’s office. However, seeing Yaga-sensei surrounded with his own cute creations, it left Shion a question of her own as she stared at the wooden ceiling, mindlessly playing with the doll’s floppy white ears. 

‘What can I do after all of this ends?’ 

She never thought much about what her life would be after the war with the cursed spirits ended. It’s a fleeting dream for sure, but there’s always an end to everything. There’s a small seed of hope in her that she would live long enough to see that day.

Happy ending? Unlikely. She’d seen so much shit that it felt impossible for her to keep going. Shion had ended enough lives to hear the voices who condemned her to death. She closed her eyes, unconsciously relieving that memory again. 

A girl no younger than 13 with black hair made a trail of red roses as she wielded her blade, tainting the snowy grounds of the compound. 

The pleas for mercy fell on deaf her ears as she drove her katana into her targets. Why would they bother to ask for forgiveness? Weren’t they bad people? She didn’t expect them to regret anything they did. 

The thirst for revenge clouded her judgment, ignoring the cold, lifeless eyes of her victims. They would answer for her parent’s blood with their own.

Her cold fingers warmed as a crimson-colored metallic smelling liquid painted them. Was it from the mother who wept over her dead children? Or was it from the elderly couple she struck down?

 At this point, Death would be her constant companion. And even if she wanted to, there’s no turning back as she was already knee-deep into her path of vengeance. 

The people she slaughtered like cattle were her mere stepping-stones towards her own goal. 

Shion’s eyes shot wide open, breaking free from her memory when she felt something vibrating in her pocket. She fished it out, and her phone lit up with her husband's caller ID, and an incoming request for a video call. 

She accepted the call, and the screen of her phone changed to show her husband’s stupidly handsome face. She questioned the acceleration of her heartbeat upon realizing he didn’t have his usual white bandages, leaving his face bare. She’d seen his beautiful blue eyes countless times, but why now? 

“Miss me that much?” Gojo raised his brow at his wife’s stoicism. “You usually pick up my calls after 3 rings, honey.”

This unexpected pet name sent color to Shion’s pale cheeks. “If you called me to prove your point, I'd hang up on you.” 

“Wait!” Her husband loudly exclaimed. “ I just wanted to hear how things are going so far. It’s pretty busy around here. I’ll be out for another two weeks. ”

14 more days? That’s too long for him to be away. Then again, it’s not like everyone could be a sorcerer which meant more work for her husband. Would it be alright to be a little selfish, to ask for more of his time? 

Masking her disappointment, Shion let out a small sigh. “Where do you want me to start?” 

“From the very beginning.”

The conversation between the couple was supposed to be a quarter of an hour but it went beyond that. Surprisingly, Gojo didn’t interrupt her once with his usual snide remarks. It’s almost as if he called her to listen to her voice. This idea almost made her blush on the spot as her heart beat faster. 

Shion let out a small gasp, remembering something at the last second. “Also, Watanabe-sensei shot Tsukamoto dead.”

“The teddy bear with boxing gloves?” Gojo asked, watching Shion nodded. “Save me a front row seat–I wanna be there when it happens.”

“When what happens?” 

“When Yaga-sensei suplexes Watanabe-sensei.” 

Now, it would be an interesting sight to see. 

“Satoru,” Shion called him, but instead of warmth, a dreadful feeling formed in the pit of her stomach. “Before you go, can I ask you something?”

Gojo’s lax expression straightened as he picked up the seriousness of Shion’s tone. 

“We’ve been married almost six years, Satoru,” Shion started, pausing for a moment. “And I‘ve been thinking about your answer that day. Is it still the same? Marrying me because you have to?”

The day after her trial and announcement of her engagement, a question formed in her head despite the  influence of anesthesia in her system. She thought that the drug had given her the courage to ask her husband. So much of that day was foggy, yet somehow his words became engraved deep in her memory.  

Back then, his answer solidified her belief that her married life would be miserable. 

“Why do you want to marry me, Gojo?” 

“I could let them have your head.” Gojo grabbed a lock of her black hair, playing it between his fingers. “But…you possess one-of-a-kind technique. That would become one of my regrets, if I didn’t intervene.”

Gojo pressed his lips against her hair, the disgust churning Shion’s stomach.

“The wedding gift I want from my lovely soon-to-be wife is… don’t die on me.”

Instead of an immediate response, the astounding silence was enough to make Shion’s blood run cold. Although Gojo’s expression remained unchanged, she saw the uneasiness in his eyes. 

‘What are we?’ 

Three simple words were enough to change everything she had with Gojo. She wanted to ask that question, and resisting the temptation grew harder and harder with each passing day–the risk was too heavy to jeopardize what they had. 

And look at her selfish curiosity brought to her. She almost ruined what she had with him because of his silent response. That was enough for Shion. Yet why did she feel such disappointment? Did she truly hope his answer would be different? 

“Shion-”

"Please forget about this conversation." Shion bit her inner cheek, preventing herself from frowning. "It's unfair for you to be asked on the spot when you have other priorities to worry about."

Another moment of stillness passed between them, but it wasn’t the uncomfortable type of silence, like she had experienced with Shoko earlier. 

Gojo chose "Let's talk about it when I get back, okay?"

Fearing her voice would fail her, Shion nodded. Without anything else to say, Gojo ended the call, returning her phone's screen back to her wallpaper. It’s her pre wedding photo. She couldn’t recall the fine details on how she came to agree with the decision. 

However, she noticed something different in Gojo. As far as she remembered, this photo dated back when things were so damn complicated and difficult between them, causing a thick strain in their relationship. 

Yet, the softness she found in his gaze towards her told her otherwise. 

Why was he looking at her like that? As if…she was everything to him? 

---------------------------------

One late evening, a lone special grade sorcerer, Satoru Gojo, finally returned home after eight long days with barely enough sleep. His mission ended earlier than expected, but hey, at least he could finally see his lovely wife sleep properly in his comfy bed.

“I’m home!” 

After taking his shoes off near the doorstep, he walked towards the living room with a spring in his step. However, his expectations fell shortly after seeing a messy patch of green hair on top of a bespectacled man’s head. 

“Oh, you’re home.” Watanabe folded the newspaper in half. “And that’s my cue to leave.”

“Watanabe-sensei?” Gojo knitted his brows. “What are you doing here in my house? Where are Tsumiki and Megumi?”

“First, your wife asked me to look after them while she’s on a mission. Second, they’re asleep.” The school doctor rolled his neck before rubbing the nicotine patch on his upper left arm. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go back to school.”

“And Shion?”

“What about her, Gojo?" Watanabe's eyes widened a bit upon remembering. “She did tell me she’s going home with you in tow three days ago.” 

Gojo resisted the urge to frown in confoundment upon hearing what Watanabe said. As much as he remembered, there was nothing indicating that his wife would be coming home with him. Maybe she said that to quell the children’s worries? After all, he hadn’t given them a clear idea as to when he’d be back.

So, his wife contacted Watanabe three days ago? Had something happened whilst he’s away? Nothing came to mind. Probably some sort of mix-up in communication. Still, he had a bad feeling.

Watanabe blinked a couple of times. “Anything else?” 

“I need you to look after the kids again.” 

“Huh? I’m a doctor, not a babysitter.” 

“I’ll tell Yaga-sensei what happened to Tsukamoto.”

“How did you-forget it.” Watanabe sighed heavily, scratching his head in the process. “Your influence on her truly shows. I can’t believe I’m still here, babysitting… You better cover my ass if Ieiri comes looking for me.”

Watanabe took his spot again on the couch as Gojo made way to his bedroom. He switched on the lights, illuminating his room. He lied down in bed and called his wife’s phone. The phone on the other end started ringing just as he put it to his ear. He didn’t realize how much he missed her until he heard Shion’s voicemail. 

Gojo kept calling and calling until his frustration took over. Where the fuck is she? He couldn’t sense the wedding ring or even her dreaded cursed energy. He cursed underneath his breath before getting out of bed. 

His mood improved when his eyes landed on a long, white floppy eared puppy. It was sitting comfortably on top of Shion’s bookshelf while wearing clothes that resembled his uniform. Instead of the white bandages, a black blindfold covered its eyes.

"Why, hello…" Gojo grinned, picking up the stuffed plush toy. "Is this supposed to be me?"

Even though Shion denied missing him, Gojo felt the effort she put into making this handicraft.  “We’ve been married almost six years, Satoru,” Shion started, pausing for a moment. “And I‘ve been thinking about your answer that day. Is it still the same? You’ve stayed married to me because you feel that you have to?” Gojo frowned. How could he forget that conversation? When his wife had never before questioned anything about their marriage…

Technically speaking, his answer hadn’t changed. He only married her to save her from getting her head chopped off. But if things were different, maybe he would marry her out of love, or maybe he didn’t. Instead, he would find another alternative to see her alive and breathing. 

He put the doll back where it was and began browsing through Shion’s mini library. If he couldn’t get through to her himself, maybe he could find some sort of clue in her books. He pulled down his bandages and started browsing through her collection. 

After almost half an hour, Gojo took note of the central themes in some of the books he briefly read. And, he wondered if it had something to do with him.

“If only I met you sooner.” …People tend to weave this idea into various stories– romantic or not, it was always a hit with the audience. Despite Shion seemingly being a fan of this trope, Gojo didn’t see the appeal of it. 

As he grew older and wiser with time, he understood why this futile fantasy often played into stories. Gojo believed its popularity was fueled by self-doubt, as humans tended to be fickle with their opinions on relationships. He could imagine the reason behind Shion’s fascination towards it. Was it because of how lonely she felt in the years before she met him? Or did she sense the solitude in him? 

Putting the book away, he pulled out his phone and noticed a text notification from Shion. The tension in his shoulders didn't leave. Why did he feel uneasiness from it?

In the picture, a disheveled woman was sitting alone, seemingly her arms were behind the chair she’s sitting on. She slumped over the chair with her hair hanging like curtains across her face. Above her was a single dimly lit lightbulb, illuminating her tired features and the black silk dress hung on her body. Splotches of red and purple littered across her arms and legs.

But the temperature in his body rose in anger and the bedroom dropped to zero degrees when he saw text:

“You’ll raise hell from the bottomless pit just for her, right?” 

-----------------------------

A/n: HEEEYYYYY, I'm back from my unannounced 4 month hiatus. Don't worry, this author is fighting tooth and nail with writer's block on a daily basis. Anyways, it was supposed to be a Megumi-ish centered chapter but the author still hasn't grasped of his character that much to think what would he be like in his childhood with Shion around. Because of this said problem, I was duking out with writer's block, and school.

Special thanks to zark or xerox-candybar for beta reading this chapter because as always, she did a wonderful job.

Also, for those who are up to date with the manga....Yeah...Since Gege chose to end the year with a bang, I might as well slammed the door open into the new year with a nice cliffhanger. ^^

In addition, here's Alex's Character Info: Character Profile: Alexander Atotsugi “Alex” Kim Enrollment Method: Family Lineage Hobbies: Collecting Antiques Favorite Food: Hae-jang guk (hangover soup) Least Favorite Food: Kimchi (can’t handle spice - his mother was purely disappointed in him) Cause of Stress: Dirty stuff - His mother is Korean American while his father is a former member of the Kamo Clan. His second name, Atotsugi, means "heir" as his father wants him to be the next clan leader. - Supposed to be next in line for clan head, but he has no interest in it. Because of his rejection, he earned the stitches on his face because his head was literally split into two from the family’s assassination attempt. - Met Mei Mei in a clan meeting between their families (after his clan paid him enough to make an appearance), only to find out he's her senior at Jujutech.

Hopefully, my next update wont be after 4 months as my life will be a bit busy after graduation this month. So, for those who were waiting, I apologize and thank you for being patient. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'll see you guys whenever the next ch.

[gintokisimp]

Nails on that hill - From 'The Love Kiseru' その丘に爪を立てて ～相合い煙管より～

Summary: Spin-off of to 'The Love Kiseru' in Gintoki's point of view R18 taking into account that Gintoki is a sadist...

Notes: Permission to translate and upload given to me by Asatori-san Original work here  Main Story (not translated yet) here

I couldn’t help but love the strong Tsukuyo, love her so much that I couldn’t resist kissing her on the forehead in the heat of the moment.

I could hear Zura's slippers and Elizabeth's signature footsteps receding into the distance. They must have left their seats out of consideration.

I used my tongue as hard as I could to trace the scar running straight across the forehead of Tsukuyo in front of me and then again from left to right.

"Hmm," said Tsukuyo, her voice mixed with confusion.

I ran the tip of my tongue over her right eyelid and cheek and captured it while lightly biting the top of her ear with my front teeth.

Then, she winced back for a moment.

I didn't care at all and followed the complicated folds of her ears with my pointed tongue.

She endured it with trepidation. I could feel her trembling, perhaps with fright.

I myself was not particularly sensitive at the ears. It seems that my body was not very sensitive to being caressed. But the sensitivity of her lovely ears seemed to be good.

She was a pretty girl, bubbly and chic, but also habitually inexperienced, dim-witted and naïve. It's been so long.. since I couldn't remember touching a woman who wasn't used to being touched by other people.

My instinctive desire appealed to me.

I had already confided in my heart. This time, I wanted to set fire to Tsukuyo's body. I wanted to make her a real woman who only wants me, to the point where she can never be without me.

And I captured her lips with the same intensity. I've abandoned all thoughts of consideration and modesty. I just let my tongue twirl, explore, and suck her tongue as I pleased. But once I was forced to let go, just to control my breathing.

"Ah... nn..." Tsukuyo looked up at me with a languid look in her eyes as if to say, "Are ya finished already?" An electric shock ran down  my spine.She's sooooo sexy.

"Are you sure you're a virgin? What's with the tricks?"

"Eh..?"

I could see my dwarfed reflection in the large, bewildered, purple-colored mirror. Not wanting to see myself like that, I sucked on the soft little lips again.

I savored the taste of hot, sweet saliva. Her pretty voice came in and out from the back of her throat as she desperately clutched to me, as if a drowning man is grasping for straws.

This was probably because she was worried that someone might see or hear them. It was a sign that she wasn't quite into it yet.

"….Don't worry. The staff seem to be hiding in the back, scared of the people outside. ......Zura and the others, you see. They're away from their positions, so don't worry, just speak up."

"This is..bullshit."

Oh, that shy look on her face, that was soooo good. I wanted to push her down harder, in all earnestness, and make her cry soooo loudly. Women are more rewarding to torment if they resist than if they are submissive. I thought I'm a terrible man, but it was my born nature, so I couldn't help it.

But it was a bummer. I couldn't go that far now. I was so frustrated that I sucked on her lips even more.

Mmm, mmm,  I felt the noises of her voice and spit echoing mercilessly through the foyer, even more intense than before. I could tell that she was into deep kissing me too. She was getting more aggressive, and our tongues were entwined. This was so fucking good. But it was still awkward, and her tongue wasn't that skillful. She was probably still tense. No wonder, I could tell. So, in order to get her to relax, I boldly touched her ample breasts.

I was relieved that she didn't seem to mind. After all, it might be better to be unresisting at first.

Ahh, I knew it. Her nipples were poking out from under the kimono. I had already guessed that maybe she wasn't wearing anything under her kimono, I saw it at the vending machine. She was a fool if trying to deal with thugs with such an unprotected body until replacement arrived.

"Ah, you..! Ah, aah!"

When I used my fingers and nails to stimulate her wanting nipples, she reacted by squeezing her eyes shut and twitching.

Dangerous. Whatever it was, it was all of it.

I couldn't confirm it because it was hidden under my haori, but it was probably the same down there. Because her whole body was soaking wet, her crotch must be soooo wet as well, just like mine.

I squeezed her firm ass hard, moving away from her ample breasts. I would never be able to do this in public, but now I can do it fearlessly.

"...no!" her voice overturned. Oi, you're definitely feeling it with that naughty voice.

"Oi oi oi, you're unprotected. You're not wearing any underwear, that's way too kinky. Are you planning to go out in front of other men like that? Are you actually a slut? I'm going to make you pay for this, bitch."

Half of the playful wordplay flirting was also my own seriousness. If I had a sarashi, I could've wrapped it around those unprotected boobs. Like that scarf, but tighter.

I squeezed her ass and enjoyed the smooth skin of her neck with my tongue. Her body grew feverish, and she continued to respond as sensitively as a koi carp at the chopping board, desperately trying to muffle her voice.

(Okay, she' s a total M.) The moment I was sure of it, my own nasty laugh escaped my mouth.

But we don't have much time, so it was no use.

I'll give you a break for now, just enough to leave a fingernail mark on your two hills…

[antiporn-activist]

The Children of Pornhub

Why does Canada allow this company to profit off videos of exploitation and assault?

By Nicholas Kristof, Opinion Columnist, Dec. 4, 2020, New York Times

This article contains descriptions of sexual assault. It’s also really long.

Pornhub prides itself on being the cheery, winking face of naughty, the website that buys a billboard in Times Square and provides snow plows to clear Boston streets. It donates to organizations fighting for racial equality and offers steamy content free to get people through Covid-19 shutdowns.

Yet there’s another side of the company: Its site is infested with rape videos. It monetizes child rapes, revenge pornography, spy cam videos of women showering, racist and misogynist content, and footage of women being asphyxiated in plastic bags. A search for “girls under18” (no space) or “14yo” leads in each case to more than 100,000 videos. Most aren’t of children being assaulted, but too many are.

After a 15-year-old girl went missing in Florida, her mother found her on Pornhub — in 58 sex videos. Sexual assaults on a 14-year-old California girl were posted on Pornhub and were reported to the authorities not by the company but by a classmate who saw the videos. In each case, offenders were arrested for the assaults, but Pornhub escaped responsibility for sharing the videos and profiting from them.

Pornhub is like YouTube in that it allows members of the public to post their own videos. A great majority of the 6.8 million new videos posted on the site each year probably involve consenting adults, but many depict child abuse and nonconsensual violence. Because it’s impossible to be sure whether a youth in a video is 14 or 18, neither Pornhub nor anyone else has a clear idea of how much content is illegal.

Unlike YouTube, Pornhub allows these videos to be downloaded directly from its website. So even if a rape video is removed at the request of the authorities, it may already be too late: The video lives on as it is shared with others or uploaded again and again.

“Pornhub became my trafficker,” a woman named Cali told me. She says she was adopted in the United States from China and then trafficked by her adoptive family and forced to appear in pornographic videos beginning when she was 9. Some videos of her being abused ended up on Pornhub and regularly reappear there, she said.

“I’m still getting sold, even though I’m five years out of that life,” Cali said. Now 23, she is studying in a university and hoping to become a lawyer — but those old videos hang over her.

“I may never be able to get away from this,” she said. “I may be 40 with eight kids, and people are still masturbating to my photos.”

“You type ‘Young Asian’ and you can probably find me,” she added.

Actually, maybe not. Pornhub recently was offering 26,000 videos in response to that search. That doesn’t count videos that show up under “related searches” that Pornhub suggests, including “young tiny teen,” “extra small petite teen,” “tiny Asian teen” or just “young girl.” Nor does it necessarily count videos on a Pornhub channel called “exploited teen Asia.”

I came across many videos on Pornhub that were recordings of assaults on unconscious women and girls. The rapists would open the eyelids of the victims and touch their eyeballs to show that they were nonresponsive.

Pornhub profited this fall from a video of a naked woman being tortured by a gang of men in China. It is monetizing video compilations with titles like “Screaming Teen,” “Degraded Teen” and “Extreme Choking.” Look at a choking video and it may suggest also searching for “She Can’t Breathe.”

It should be possible to be sex positive and Pornhub negative.

Pornhub declined to make executives available on the record, but it provided a statement. “Pornhub is unequivocally committed to combating child sexual abuse material, and has instituted a comprehensive, industry-leading trust and safety policy to identify and eradicate illegal material from our community,” it said. Pornhub added that any assertion that the company allows child videos on the site “is irresponsible and flagrantly untrue.”

II.

At 14, Serena K. Fleites was an A student in Bakersfield, Calif., who had never made out with a boy. But in the eighth grade she developed a crush on a boy a year older, and he asked her to take a naked video of herself. She sent it to him, and this changed her life.

He asked for another, then another; she was nervous but flattered. “That’s when I started getting strange looks in school,” she remembered. He had shared the videos with other boys, and someone posted them on Pornhub.

Fleites’s world imploded. It’s tough enough to be 14 without having your classmates entertain themselves by looking at you naked, and then mocking you as a slut. “People were texting me, if I didn’t send them a video, they were going to send them to my mom,” she said.

The boy was suspended, but Fleites began skipping class because she couldn’t bear the shame. Her mother persuaded Pornhub to remove the videos, and Fleites switched schools. But rumors reached the new school, and soon the videos were uploaded again to Pornhub and other websites.

Fleites quarreled with her mother and began cutting herself. Then one day she went to the medicine cabinet and took every antidepressant pill she could find.

Three days later, she woke up in the hospital, frustrated to be still alive. Next she hanged herself in the bathroom; her little sister found her, and medics revived her.

As Fleites spiraled downward, a friend introduced her to meth and opioids, and she became addicted to both. She dropped out of school and became homeless.

At 16, she advertised on Craigslist and began selling naked photos and videos of herself. It was a way to make a bit of money, and maybe also a way to punish herself. She thought, “I’m not worth anything any more because everybody has already seen my body,” she told me.

Those videos also ended up on Pornhub. Fleites would ask that they be removed. They usually would be, she says — but then would be uploaded again. One naked video of her at 14 had 400,000 views, she says, leaving her afraid to apply for fast-food jobs for fear that someone would recognize her.

So today Fleites, 19, off drugs for a year but unemployed and traumatized, is living in her car in Bakersfield, along with three dogs that have proved more loyal and loving than the human species. She dreams of becoming a vet technician but isn’t sure how to get there. “It’s kind of hard to go to school when you’re living in a car with dogs,” she said.

“I was dumb,” she acknowledged, noting that she had never imagined that the videos could be shared online. “It was one small thing that a teenager does, and it’s crazy how it turns into something so much bigger.

“A whole life can be changed because of one little mistake.”

III.

The problem goes far beyond one company. Indeed, a rival of Pornhub, XVideos, which arguably has even fewer scruples, may attract more visitors. Depictions of child abuse also appear on mainstream sites like Twitter, Reddit and Facebook. And Google supports the business models of companies that thrive on child molestation.

Google returns 920 million videos on a search for “young porn.” Top hits include a video of a naked “very young teen” engaging in sex acts on XVideo along with a video on Pornhub whose title is unprintable here.

I asked the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children to compile the number of images, videos and other content related to child sexual exploitation reported to it each year. In 2015, it received reports of 6.5 million videos or other files; in 2017, 20.6 million; and in 2019, 69.2 million.

Facebook removed 12.4 million images related to child exploitation in a three-month period this year. Twitter closed 264,000 accounts in six months last year for engaging in sexual exploitation of children. By contrast, Pornhub notes that the Internet Watch Foundation, an England-based nonprofit that combats child sexual abuse imagery, reported only 118 instances of child sexual abuse imagery on its site over almost three years, seemingly a negligible figure. “Eliminating illegal content is an ongoing battle for every modern content platform, and we are committed to remaining at the forefront,” Pornhub said in its statement.

The Internet Watch Foundation couldn’t explain why its figure for Pornhub is so low. Perhaps it’s because people on Pornhub are inured to the material and unlikely to report it. But if you know what to look for, it’s possible to find hundreds of apparent child sexual abuse videos on Pornhub in 30 minutes. Pornhub has recently offered playlists with names including “less than 18,” “the best collection of young boys” and “under- - age.”

Congress and successive presidents have done almost nothing as this problem has grown. The tech world that made it possible has been mostly passive, in a defensive crouch. But pioneering reporting in 2019 by my Times colleagues has prodded Congress to begin debating competing strategies to address child exploitation.

Concerns about Pornhub are bubbling up. A petition to shut the site down has received 2.1 million signatures. Senator Ben Sasse, a Nebraska Republican, called on the Justice Department to investigate Pornhub. PayPal cut off services for the company, and credit card companies have been asked to do the same. An organization called Traffickinghub, led by an activist named Laila Mickelwait, documents abuses and calls for the site to be shut down. Twenty members of Canada’s Parliament have called on their government to crack down on Pornhub, which is effectively based in Montreal.

“They made money off my pain and suffering,” an 18-year-old woman named Taylor told me. A boyfriend secretly made a video of her performing a sex act when she was 14, and it ended up on Pornhub, the police confirmed. “I went to school the next day and everybody was looking at their phones and me as I walked down the hall,” she added, weeping as she spoke. “They were laughing.”

Taylor said she has twice attempted suicide because of the humiliation and trauma. Like others quoted here, she agreed to tell her story and help document it because she thought it might help other girls avoid suffering as she did.

IV.

Pornhub is owned by Mindgeek, a private pornography conglomerate with more than 100 websites, production companies and brands. Its sites include Redtube, Youporn, XTube, SpankWire, ExtremeTube, Men.com, My Dirty Hobby, Thumbzilla, PornMD, Brazzers and GayTube. There are other major players in porn outside the Mindgeek umbrella, most notably XHamster and XVideos, but Mindgeek is a porn titan. If it operated in another industry, the Justice Department could be discussing an antitrust case against it.

Pornhub and Mindgeek also stand out because of their influence. One study this year by a digital marketing company concluded that Pornhub was the technology company with the third greatest-impact on society in the 21st century, after Facebook and Google but ahead of Microsoft, Apple and Amazon.

Nominally based in Luxembourg for tax reasons, Mindgeek is a private company run from Montreal. It does not disclose who owns it, but it is led by Feras Antoon and David Tassillo, both Canadians, who declined to be interviewed.

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau of Canada calls himself a feminist and has been proud of his government’s efforts to empower women worldwide. So a question for Trudeau and all Canadians: Why does Canada host a company that inflicts rape videos on the world?

Mindgeek’s moderators are charged with filtering out videos of children, but its business model profits from sex videos starring young people.

“The goal for a content moderator is to let as much content as possible go through,” a former Mindgeek employee told me. He said he believed that the top executives weren’t evil but were focused above all on maximizing revenue.

While Pornhub would not tell me how many moderators it employs, I interviewed one who said that there are about 80 worldwide who work on Mindgeek sites (by comparison, Facebook told me it has 15,000 moderators). With 1.36 million new hours of video uploaded a year to Pornhub, that means that each moderator would have to review hundreds of hours of content each week.

The moderators fast forward through videos, but it’s often difficult to assess whether a person is 14 or 18, or whether torture is real or fake. Most of the underage content involves teenagers, the moderator I spoke with said, but some comes from spy cams in toilets or changing rooms and shows children only 8 to 12.

“The job in itself is soul-destroying,” the moderator said.

Pornhub appears to be increasingly alarmed about civil or criminal liability. Lawyers are circling, and nine women sued the company in federal court after spy cam videos surfaced on Pornhub. The videos were shot in a locker room at Limestone College in South Carolina and showed women showering and changing clothes.

Executives of Pornhub appear in the past to have assumed that they enjoyed immunity under Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, which protects internet platforms on which members of the public post content. But in 2018 Congress limited Section 230 so that it may not be enough to shield the company, leading Mindgeek to behave better.

It has doubled the number of moderators in the last couple of years, the moderator told me, and this year Pornhub began voluntarily reporting illegal material to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. After previously dragging its feet in removing videos of children and nonconsensual content, Pornhub now is responding more rapidly.

It has also compiled a list of banned content. I obtained a copy of this list, and it purports to bar videos with terms or themes like “rape,” “preteen,” “pedophilia” and “bestiality” (it helpfully clarifies that this “includes eels, fish, octopus, insects”). Diapers are OK “if no scatophilia.” Mutilation depends on context but “cannot depict severing parts of the body.”

So while it is now no longer possible to search on Pornhub in English using terms like “underage” or “rape,” the company hasn’t tried hard to eliminate such videos. A member called “13yoboyteen” is allowed to post videos. A search for “r*pe,” turns up 1,901 videos. “Girl with braces” turns up 1,913 videos and suggests also trying “exxxtra small teens.” A search for “13yo” generates 155,000 videos. To be clear, most aren’t of 13-year-olds, but the fact that they’re promoted with that language seems to reflect an effort to attract pedophiles.

Moreover, some videos seem at odds with the list of banned content. “Runaway Girl Gets Ultimatum, Anal or the Streets” is the title of one Pornhub video. Another user posts videos documenting sex with teenage girls as they weep, protest and cry out in pain.

While Pornhub is becoming more careful about videos of potentially litigious Americans, it remains cavalier about overseas victims. One Indonesian video is titled “Junior High School Girl After Class” and shows what appears to be a young teenager having sex. A Chinese sex video, just taken down, was labeled: “Beautiful High School Girl Is Tricked by Classmates and Taken to the Top of a Building Where She Is Insulted and Raped.”

“They’re making money off the worst moment in my life, off my body,” a Colombian teenager who asked to be called Xela, a nickname, told me. Two American men paid her when she was 16 for a sexual encounter that they filmed and then posted on Pornhub. She was one of several Pornhub survivors who told me they had thought of or attempted suicide.

In the last few days as I was completing this article, two new videos of prepubescent girls being assaulted were posted, along with a sex video of a 15-year-old girl who was suicidal after it went online. I don’t see how good-faith moderators could approve any of these videos.

V.

“It’s always going to be online,” Nicole, a British woman who has had naked videos of herself posted and reposted on Pornhub, told me. “That’s my big fear of having kids, them seeing this.”

That’s a recurring theme among survivors: An assault eventually ends, but Pornhub renders the suffering interminable.

Naked videos of Nicole at 15 were posted on Pornhub. Now 19, she has been trying for two years to get them removed.

“Why do videos of me from when I was 15 years old and blackmailed, which is child porn, continuously [get] uploaded?” Nicole protested plaintively to Pornhub last year, in a message. “You really need a better system. … I tried to kill myself multiple times after finding myself reuploaded on your website.”

Nicole’s lawyer, Dani Pinter, says there are still at least three naked videos of Nicole at age 15 or 16 on Pornhub that they are trying to get removed.

“It’s never going to end,” Nicole said. “They’re getting so much money from our trauma.”

Pornhub has introduced software that supposedly can “fingerprint” rape videos and prevent them from being uploaded again. But Vice showed how this technology is easily circumvented on Pornhub.

One Pornhub scandal involved the Girls Do Porn production company, which recruited young women for clothed modeling gigs and then pushed them to perform in sex videos, claiming that the videos would be sold only as DVDs in other countries and would never go online. Reassured that no one would ever know, some of the women agreed — and then were shattered when the footage was aggressively marketed on Pornhub.

Girls Do Porn was prosecuted for sex trafficking and shut down. But those videos continue to surface and resurface on Pornhub; last time I checked, videos of six victims of Girls Do Porn were on Pornhub, which continues to profit from them.

One of the Girls Do Porn women I saw on Pornhub is now dead. She was murdered at 20, allegedly by an angry ex-boyfriend who is about to go on trial. I’m not disclosing her name because she should be remembered as a vibrant college athlete, and not for a sex video that represented her most mortifying moment.

VI.

So what’s the solution?

I had expected the survivors to want to shut down Pornhub and send its executives to prison. Some did, but others were more nuanced. Lydia, now 20, was trafficked as a child and had many rape videos posted on the site. “My stomach hurts all the time” from the tension, she told me, but she doesn’t want to come across as hostile to porn itself.

“I don’t want people to hear ‘No porn!’” Lydia told me. “It’s more like, ‘Stop hurting kids.’”

Susan Padron told me that she had assumed that pornography was consensual, until a boyfriend filmed her in a sex act when she was 15 and posted it on Pornhub. She has struggled since and believes that only people who have confirmed their identities should be allowed to post videos.

Jessica Shumway, who was trafficked and had a customer post a sex video on Pornhub, agrees: “They need to figure out who’s underage in the videos and that there’s consent from everybody in it.”

I asked Leo, 18, who had videos of himself posted on Pornhub when he was 14, what he suggested.

“That’s tough,” he said. “My solution would be to leave porn to professional production companies,” because they require proof of age and consent.

Right now, those companies can’t compete with mostly free sites like Pornhub and XVideos.

“Pornhub has already destroyed the business model for pay sites,” said Stoya, an adult film actress and writer. She, too, thinks all platforms — from YouTube to Pornhub — should require proof of consent to upload videos of private individuals.

Columnists are supposed to offer answers, but I struggle with solutions. If Pornhub curated videos more rigorously, the most offensive material might just move to the dark web or to websites in less regulated countries. Yet at least they would then not be normalized on a mainstream site.

More pressure and less impunity would help. We’re already seeing that limiting Section 230 immunity leads to better self-policing.

And call me a prude, but I don’t see why search engines, banks or credit card companies should bolster a company that monetizes sexual assaults on children or unconscious women. If PayPal can suspend cooperation with Pornhub, so can American Express, Mastercard and Visa.

I don’t see any neat solution. But aside from limiting immunity so that companies are incentivized to behave better, here are three steps that would help: 1.) Allow only verified users to post videos. 2.) Prohibit downloads. 3.) Increase moderation.

These measures wouldn’t kill porn or much bother consumers of it; YouTube thrives without downloads. Siri Dahl, a prominent porn star who does business with Pornhub, told me that my three proposals are “insanely reasonable.”

The world has often been oblivious to child sexual abuse, from the Catholic Church to the Boy Scouts. Too late, we prosecute individuals like Jeffrey Epstein or R. Kelly. But we should also stand up to corporations that systematically exploit children. With Pornhub, we have Jeffrey Epstein times 1,000.

[hoseokmylovesworld]

More Than Just Friends | Namjoon Oneshot

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Requested:  “ A sweet plant daddy Joon x y/n, stubborn idiots to lovers? With best friend Yoongi? And idk maybe Joon saves her from something?”

Genre: Namjoon AU, humor, Fluff, f2l, 

Length: 6,337k ish Words (I can never make a short fic)

Warnings: Strong language, claustrophobia, Yoongi being a sweet dick, kissing in the rain (I saw an opportunity and I took it)

A/N:

This will be my first upload since I fell off the face of the earth half a year ago. We’re finally adding a new member to the masterlist!! But hey I graduated fucking college so there’s that!

I swear I wrote this ask like three different times IDK why. There will be an alternative upload of this same ask bc I didn’t want it to go to waste.

This might also be my first oneshot without smut and it is very odd. But anyways, I hope you didn’t forget about me, anon. Sorry for the wait!

You walked up to the door you knew all too well while balancing two signature Starbucks orders in your hand. You banged on the apartment door in front of you with the other until your favorite person answered the door. It was more like he yanked the door open with an extremely annoyed expression on his face. “Are you fuckin’ serious, Y/N?” He grumbled, leaning against the door frame, rubbing at his barely opened eyes. 

You only smiled back at him and ducked past him into the apartment. You made yourself comfortable at the kitchen island counter, unbagging the orders and setting them out. “What? Someone has to wake you up on the weekend.” You chirped matter-of-factly, taking a sip of your coffee and a bite of your muffin.

Yoongi sighed heavily, closing the door and sluggishly making his way to the kitchen. “I thought we talked about this, Y/N. I already own an alarm clock.” He took to the other side of the island and indulged in a huge gulp of his large mocha iced coffee with whipped cream. 

“Yes, but we both know you don’t use it. I’m your best bet at waking up at all, Mr. Sleepyhead.” You insisted with a charming smirk and a sip of coffee. Yoongi had no choice, but to give a deep chuckle at your logic. “Plus I figured you’d want some company on your day off.” You offered, sweetly.

Yoongi scoffs and playfully protests. “I have company, Y/N. Namjoon’s here.” The words make you do a double take. “I’m sorry?” You jutted your chin out and blinked quickly as if you didn’t hear what he said. 

“Namjoon, you know? My roommate? That other person that lives here?” Yoongi responded sarcastically, stuffing his mouth with his coffee roll. “He’s here? I thought you said he was away this week?” You asked, your chipper mood decreasing by the second and transforming to nervousness that you were doing a horrible job at hiding. 

“Well, he got back last night.” He shrugged. 

“Oh. Well, if someone would have told me, I probably would have worn… something else.” You muttered anxiously, tugging at your grey crop top that matched your baggy sweatpants and hung loosely under a thin leather jacket. 

It obviously wasn’t a look you were afraid to be seen in, in public. Most might even say it suited you, but if you had known that your crush was going to be around, you might have tried a little harder. 

“Well, no one told you show up-”

“You shut your mouth, Yoongi, I brought you breakfast.” You shot out quickly with a less than playful glare. His eyes immediately widened and he raised his hands in defeat. “Thank you, Y/N.” he conceded as Namjoon himself came down the hall and into the kitchen area wearing only his pajama pants. Your eyes widened as you looked him up and down and a jolt of tingly pleasure quickly ran through you. He entered the room with his eyes closed and his face stretched out to form a yawn. 

“Who was that at the door, Yoongi?” He sighed, continuing to stumble blindly into the kitchen. “See for yourself.” Yoongi replied with a knowing smile that he concealed with a long sip of his coffee. 

Namjoon did as he was told, not expecting a third human being in his kitchen, let alone you. You smiled kindly and waved, attempting to control your breathing and the sweatiness of your palms. “Hey, Namjoon.” Your voice was small and timid, threatening to reveal all that your body worked to hide.

“He-” Namjoon paused to clear his throat. “Hey, Y/N.” He looked down at his attire briefly before sighing softly and made his way to the refrigerator. “When did you get here?” He asked while opening the fridge and fixing his hair when he thought no one was looking. 

“Just now, actually.” Your tone is more even than it was before. “Ah, right.” He nodded, getting together cereal ingredients and laying them out on the table. “Sorry, if I had known, I would’ve...you know.” He gestured to himself with a quick flailing motion of his hand. 

“That’s what I said!” You burst out in understanding, trying to avoid staring at his very bare chest. Namjoon studied you closer for a second or two. “No, you look good.” He countered confidently. And the sweaty palms were back again. “Thank you,” You squeaked promptly. “So do you.” The compliment was rushed and out of politeness, but it was genuine nonetheless.  

“No, I don’t, I look a mess.” He chuckled, sheepishly. “No, I mean it. Pajama pants are a good look on you,” You laughed with him, intending for the comment to be more of a joke, but when all you hear is awkward silence and you feel two pairs of eyes on you, you realize how the comment could have been taken. 

Yoongi suddenly rolled his eyes and held back a groan. Here he was again in between two morons who he called his best friends that didn’t know what was right in front of them. 

Every so often, he would watch the two of you flirt and tip toe around each other and do absolutely nothing about it and frankly he was sick of it. He removed himself from the beyond awkward situation in the kitchen and sat on the couch a few feet away to distract himself with some TV.

“Oh! Be right back.” Namjoon exclaimed when he caught a glimpse of the time on your phone. “Gotta go feed the kids.” You giggled at the charming explanation as he put away the milk.

“They’re plants, Namjoon. Plants!” Yoongi shouted from his spot on the couch. 

“Shut up, Yoongi, you’re just mad because you don’t have any.”

“I don’t want any fucking kids.” The shorter boy replied instantly with a disgusted look on his face. “Aha!” Namjoon shouted over his shoulder, overly gratified that he got Yoongi to refer to his plants as kids. 

“And they damn sure don’t want you,” he finished. By now you were crying from laughter at the exchange and watched as he hurriedly shrugged on his thick leather jacket. 

“Hey, we match.” You smiled brightly, catching your breath and gripping yours to show it off. “Nice! Now you just have to buy some plaid drawstring pants and we’ll be good to go.” He joked before heading out to tend to his rooftop garden.

You sighed contentedly before plopping down next to Yoongi, looking at the television in front of you but only seeing Namjoon’s blinding smile in your mind. 

“When are you two just gonna fuck and get it over with?” You heard Yoongi mutter from your right. Your head whips to face him, your eyes are wide and your mouth gaping at him. 

“What?! Yoongi?!” Is all you can muster with how taken aback you are. 

“Don’t ‘what, Yoongi’ me.” Your best friend of ten years turned to you, looking fed up. He decided he was finally done with your bullshit. “You and Namjoon have been making goo goo eyes at each other and shamelessly flirting for months now and I for one have had enough.” He ranted with wide, peeved eyes.

You sputtered, looking everywhere, but at his face. You swallowed in vain, trying to bring the moisture back to your mouth, clutching for words to make an excuse that didn’t exist. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You settled, mentally face palming yourself after the words left your mouth. 

Yoongi’s shoulders slumped and his eyelids drooped into a more disappointed expression. “Oh, you don’t? Are you for real, Y/N? You’re my best friend, I know when you’re lying to me. I certainly know when you're into someone AND I’m not blind! You wanna fuck my room mate, just admit it!” 

“Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,” You hopped up from the couch in disbelief that those words had left his mouth. “What? Yoongi, that’s crazy, I do not!” You denied strongly. 

“So, I just imagined the two of you eye fucking each other just then and last week and a few days before that?” He continued to question you rapidly, causing your breathing to pick up slightly. 

“Yes, Yoongi. That’s ridiculous.” You swallowed thickly, hoping he would drop the whole thing. “No ,Y/N, the two of you are ridiculous. Flirting around in circles like this, it’s kinda pathetic if you ask me-” 

“Well, I didn’t actually.” You cut him off sharply and continued. “And even if I did like him, which I don’t,” You paused, making that untruth very clear to him. “You’re still making all this stuff up, Namjoon doesn’t flirt with me.” You finished, matter-of-factly and you were very resolute in your stance. 

You did feel something for Namjoon, but you knew that it would never work because he didn’t see you like that. The two of you were just friends. Yoongi’s eyes went wide again and he let something between a bewildered sigh and a whine escape from his mouth. 

“Y/N-you-you mean...Oh my God, oh my God, you really are blind.” He discovered defeatedly. 

You rolled your eyes and sighed heavily. “Blind to what Yoongi? Stop trying to start something, this isn’t funny.” 

“Y/N, why the fuck would I do that?” His eyes grew wide and his shoulders shot up in defense.

“I don’t know, you’ve suddenly become a sadist? Just drop it okay?” 

“Uh, yeah, no, I don’t think so.”

“What do you mean, you don’t think so?”

“He definitely does flirt with you and you flirt right back, don’t act dumb!" 

You took a step towards him. “Yoongi, can you not-” 

“No,” He held a hand up in front of him to stop you. “Be real with me. Do you or do you not have feelings for Namjoon? I already know the answer, but…” He trailed off waiting for you to answer.

“Are you seri-”

“Ah-ah,” He stopped you again, garnering a glare from you in response. “Yes or no?” 

“Fine, you idiot...I have a crush on Namjoon.” You muttered for the first time aloud. You felt like a weight was lifted from your shoulders at the admission, but you wondered if it would be short lived when Namjoon entered the apartment as you finished your sentence. You suddenly brainstorm the fastest way to change your identity and flee the city.

“What about Namjoon?” He questioned playfully at the sound of his name. You sighed with relief after learning that, that’s the only part he heard; all plans to disappear long forgotten. 

You looked to Yoongi for help as Namjoon hung his jacket on the coat hanger next to the door. His eyes only bulged and looked back and forth from you to Namjoon as if he was telling you to tell Namjoon the truth with his eyes. Your eyes bulged back even wider helplessly, hoping he would do the talking. Namjoon finally turned around to face you both expectantly and much to your dismay Yoongi actually did do the talking. 

“Oh, um, Y/N was just inviting me to this concert and I told her it wasn’t my style so she wanted to know if you might be interested.” He spewed without a hitch as you watched him in absolute horror. 

“Oh. Sure, Y/N, I’ll go to the concert with you.” Namjoon accepted easily, causing you to disrupt your troubled gaze at Yoongi and look at Namjoon in a daze, blinking quickly. He didn’t even know what he was agreeing to and he welcomed the opportunity without any convincing. 

“Y-you will?” You uttered in disbelief.

“Yeah, of course, sounds fun. Who’s playing?” You froze at the follow up question. You’ve never been the best liar, which is kind of how you ended up in this situation. 

“Uhh, I… forget.” You shrugged sporting a nervous smile. “The, um, the tickets were a gift.” You nodded firmly along to your own lies. 

Namjoon joined in understanding, heading into the kitchen to resume making his breakfast. “Oh, ok. What kind of music do they play?” 

“Uhhh,” You stumbled, looking back to Yoongi for an assist after getting you into this mess. He hurriedly mouthed the word ‘alternative’ to you just in time for you to face Namjoon again. “Alternative!” You answered a lot louder than you meant to before taking on a more reserved tone of voice. “Uh, they make a-alternative music.” You sniffed awkwardly.

“Oh, cool! So when is it?” He chirped excitedly, slurping a spoon full of frosted flakes into his mouth. 

“Hm?” You questioned in a high pitch with a quick tilt of your head in an attempt to stall.

“The concert. When is it?”

“Um, next Saturday?” 

Namjoon laughed at your response that was phrased in the form of a question. “Are you sure?” 

You laughed off the slip up heartily. “Ahaha, yeah. I mean, no. I-I mean, I haven’t looked at the tickets in a minute and it slips my mind right now, but I’m pretty sure it’s two weeks from now, yeah. I’ll check tonight and let you know.” You reassured him after anxiously stumbling through your justification.

“Cool. I can’t wait.” He spoke and smiled genuinely, showing off those perfect dimples that got you every time. You smiled back and bit your lip nervously, still in shock about what just happened. “Neither can I.” 

“So what did you want to do for the rest of the day? Miss up at the crack of dawn?” Yoongi wondered, coming to sit at the kitchen island in front of you.

“I actually should go now that I think about it.” 

“Oh, but you just got here.” Namjoon looked disappointed at the mention of you leaving so soon.

You dramatically suck your teeth in a drawn out manner. “Yeah, I just forgot I have some shopping to do and it really can’t wait.” You looked at Yoongi with a knowing look in your eyes that read ‘you owe me’. Now you had to scour the internet for the very specific search of alternative artists who are playing in your area in two weeks time and you knew your best friend was going to be no help.

“Oh, well, good luck.” He smiled innocently, making you grind your teeth unpleasantly. 

“Yeah, thanks.” You sneered and narrowed your eyes at him discreetly. “See you guys later.”

“So wait, you want me to go on a double date with you?” You sat up in your bed with furrowed brows at the mention of a ‘group outing’ that Yoongi was proposing over the phone. 

“No, no, no, no. It’s not a double date, it would just be the four of us hanging out as friends.” He maintained reassuringly. 

“Well, you and Hani are basically dating and now you know I have a crush on Namjoon so…” You trail off, waiting for him to put the pieces together. He only tries to get you to finish your sentence. “So…” He repeated.

“That doesn’t sound sus to you Yoongi? Like at all?”

“No, Y/N. We’re all close friends, we do things like this all the time.” He urged through the phone.

“I know, but after the incident in your apartment, which I actually found tickets, no thanks to you, things are a little different now.” 

“Oh, shit, for real? That’s great.” He laughed freely while you rolled your eyes. “But I mean, not much has changed really. And you’ve already made it clear that you’re not gonna make a move so it shouldn’t be that different for you either.” He added carelessly.

The reality of his words filled you with regret and slight anger. You didn’t make a move on Namjoon for the sake of your friendship that had been going on for so long that you would know if he returned your feelings. You were choosing not to be selfish with your relationship and as agonizing as that might be you were alright with being friends. That and you were too frightened to act.

“No need to be an asshole about it.” You muttered bashfully, plopping back down on your pillow to stare up at the ceiling. 

There was a short pause before Yoongi spoke again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.”

You replied almost immediately. “I know...I guess I just took it that way.” 

“So...you’ll go?” He entreated, hopefully.

“Ugh, I don’t know,” You drawled lazily, making him wait. There really was no reason for you not to go, you figured you could use an excuse to get out of the house anyway. “I’m busy that day anyway.” 

“Nice try, but I never said when it was.”

You didn’t even try to hold your laughter during your reply. “Fuck. Well, when is it?” 

“Friday night at the pier. Clear your schedule--oh! I forgot you don’t leave the house unless absolutely necessary.” 

“Okay, that’s enough out of you sir! One more remark and I’m out!” You shouted, only half kidding.

“Alright, alright. Thank you. And don’t be late.”

Friday night came and you were beyond excited for a night out at the pier with your friends. There was bound to be bar hopping, good food and games that you couldn’t wait to play.

As you approached, you saw Namjoon standing near the entrance with his phone in hand, staring at the screen intently with furrowed brows. “Hey, Namjoon.”

He looked up at the sound of your voice and a bright smile overtook his face, showcasing those dimples you loved so much. “Hey, Y/N. How’s it going?”

“Good, I’m excited! I haven’t been here in so long.” You rolled your eyes exasperatingly watching the atmosphere turn from a lovely day out to thrumming night life by the minute. “Same, I always used to come here with my family, so I was pumped when Yoongi brought it up.” He said, taking another glance at his phone.

“Wait, seriously? Me, too.” You shared, psyched that you had something else in common.

“Yeah? What’s your favorite game here?” He was genuinely interested, secretly hoping you had this in common as well.

You wracked your brain for memories, but no such luck. Your nose scrunched up in frustration. “Ugh! I can’t remember, it’s been so long.” You griped. 

“Aw, well. We’ll just have to jog your memory today and play every single one here.” He shrugged and threw his hands up as if you both had no other choice, but you had no issues with it. “I guess we do.” You agreed, smiling brighter than you were aware of.

“I just hope Yoongi and Hani are down to get competitive tonight.” 

“Oh trust me. Hani is always down for a challenge, Yoongi not so much. We might have to threaten him to even get him to aim at a target.” You both laugh heartily because it was probably true.

You take a look at your own phone to find that it was fifteen minutes after you all said you would meet and no messages from Hani or Yoongi. “Or maybe that won’t be an issue,” You reply, referring to your friends’ lateness. 

“Yeah. I wish Yoongi and Hani would hurry up and get here. I’ve been texting him for the past half hour.”

“Yeah, I haven’t heard from either of them at all and they’re fifteen minutes late.” You pull out your phone, beginning a text to Hani when Namjoon stops you. 

“Wait, he finally said something. ‘Hani got sick, I’m gonna stay and take care of her. Go without us.’” He read from his phone.

You sighed, immediately knowing what this was about. Your best friend actually succeeded in setting you up on a not-blind date with your friend without either of you knowing. You're annoyed that he lied to you, but you can’t help, but be excited at the thought of being out with just you and your crush while reliving your favorite memories. 

“Damn, poor Hani. Well, I guess they’re not gonna make it.” You told Namjoon while you sent Hani a message anyway; ‘I hope you feel ‘better’, bitch. Tell Yoongi to start running.’ 

To which she immediately replied: ‘Oh, I will, thank you. And he just laughed lol. Have a great time! *winky face*’ You try to hide your eyes rolling into the back of your head from Namjoon, 

“Yeah, I hope she’s okay. Anyway, you ready to lose?” He taunted with a lopsided grin that made your heart flip, but you returned the same energy.

“Oh, please. Are you?” 

You both decide it would be smart to grab a beer before getting into the ‘Pier Tournament’ as you both started calling it, to kick off the night. You actually committed to buying the winner a drink after each game and whoever won the most was the real winner by the end of the night. 

Nothing was off limits. You both got so determined that you found yourselves getting wound up over the damn claw machine like a couple of children. 

“Awwww, damnit!” You groaned, dropping your fake gun once all the metal ducks with targets were slaughtered. You turned slowly to Namjoon with an exaggerated frown to find him blowing at the barrel of the gun boastfully. 

You rolled your eyes and tried to hide the smile threatening to break through on your lips. “This is so unfair, I was so close.”

“Yeah, well, we can’t all be Top Gun. I believe you owe me a drink.” 

“Don’t remind me.” You began to walk to the nearest bar to fulfill Namjoon’s request when you heard him call for you to wait up. You were surprised to see him accepting a piranha plant plush toy from the game vendor. You both had stopped accepting the prizes you won because you didn’t want your hands to be full or have to take anything home. But it was Namjoon’s burden to bear so you stayed silent.

You watched him approach you, his eyes trained on the plush until he came face to face with you. It was then that he held out the toy in your direction and said, “For you.”

You froze, looking from his eyes to the plush and back again before muttering cluelessly, “What?” 

“Uh, I want you to have it.” His tone seemed slightly shaky, but his gaze was steady and the toy was still being offered to you. You finally reached for it, your fingers brushing Namjoon’s during the exchange causing electricity to run through you. 

“Thank you.” Is all you can muster. “You’re welcome.” Namjoon replied, continuing to the next bar with his hands in his pockets. 

“I thought you would wanna keep this one for yourself. You would actually have a living being in that garden of yours.” You joked, smirking down at your new favorite object.

“Hey! My plants are living beings, okay?” He defended naturally. You looked up at him from under your lashes doubtfully, raising a playful brow. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. You know what I meant.” 

“Yeah, okay.”

“He gave you a fucking plushy?”

“Yes, Yoongi.” You answered flatly with a uniform roll of your eyes, knowing you would have done it whether you were on the phone or not.

“Well, there’s all the proof you need right there, I told you he was into you.”

You sighed exasperatedly. “Just because he gave me a toy, doesn’t mean he’s into me, Yoongi.” Your eyes found the plush toy sitting on your windowsill and you couldn’t stop the smile that broke out on your face at the memory.

“Are you kidding? Of course it does.” This kid was unbelievable you thought, throwing your hand in the air and letting it plop back down.

“Maybe he just felt bad that my friends ditched me and on top of that I was losing.” You spat back to remind him what he did to you.

“You’re the one who bet him and I did that for you, okay?” 

“Oh my gosh, you’re right. Thank you soooooo much for leaving me in the dark and in that awkward position, Yoongi. Really, thank you, I owe you one.” You exclaimed with sarcasm dripping from your every word. 

When you think about it, you really should be genuinely thanking him. That was indeed the most fun you’ve had in a long time, but you would never give your best friend the satisfaction of knowing that. 

“You do owe me! I mean, you had fun didn’t you?” His voice was confident, as if he already knew the answer. 

You pause, his question forcing you into foiled silence. 

“You did, didn’t you Squidward?” Yoongi goaded with a nasally excited tone.

“Fine!” You finally cracked. “I had fun, alright? But that doesn’t give you the right to do that. That was not cool.” 

“I really hope you don’t expect me to apologize for doing you a favor.”

“Do whatever you want, Yoongi.” You deadpanned, honestly over the whole ordeal.

“Great, I was gonna do that anyway.” He approved. “You guys are still going to that concert right?” 

“Yeah, next week.”

“Sooo,” He sang and you had never been so close to hanging up on him before this moment. “Are you excited?” 

“Really, Yoongi?” You begin pacing your bedroom subconsciously as the mention of the event on Saturday. Every time you thought about it you became nervous and you got butterflies in your stomach. 

But then you reminded yourself that you and Namjoon were just friends and he only offered to go to the concert because Yoongi couldn’t and that he probably only went to the pier because he thought his other friends would be there. And the plush gift had to be because he felt bad about the whole thing. There was just no way your best friend’s roommate even looked at you that way, you were convinced. 

“I’m just curious, tryin’ to get you pumped up for the big day.”

“Yoongi, it’s just two people going to a concert, it’s not a big deal.” You grumbled.

He just continued as if he didn’t hear you. “I mean someone’s gotta show some kind of excitement around here.” Because that’s definitely your specialty, you thought irritably. “Just promise me you’ll be safe afterwards.” His tone suddenly turned serious.

“Safe for what?” You wondered aloud with a bewildered face. 

“The sex, of course. And please don’t do it on my couch.” 

Your hand immediately found your furrowed forehead and brows and started massaging the angry wrinkles. “Goodnight, Yoongi.” You seethed, hanging up without waiting for his idiotic response. 

When Saturday finally came, you found yourself leaning on a pillar and waiting for Namjoon at the underground subway stop. You watched a new train pull in and the doors open to reveal his tall, muscular frame and smiled fondly despite yourself. He noticed you instantly and walked straight to you with a casual smile that showed off his dimples.

“Hey, you ready?” He beamed with his hands in his pockets.

“Oh, yeah. Ready to get alternative in this piece.” You joked, taking up a b-boy stance you’ve seen, but never attempted that caused Namjoon to bark with laughter. “I love it, let’s do this.” He resounded and led the way to the venue. 

Getting into the arena was easy enough, but once you got past the turnstiles it was like a whole new world. You suddenly wished you got out more because you surely weren’t expecting this kind of crowd to show up. 

Maybe you should have gotten here earlier and researched the fanbase of the band a little more because it was slightly overwhelming how many times you and Namjoon almost lost each other in the sea of people trying to find your seats. 

You were starting to feel claustrophobic when someone suddenly grasped your hand and placed it on their shoulder. You looked up to see that it was Namjoon and he kept his hand on top of yours without turning around while he navigated the crowd skillfully and quickly. A thankful sigh whooshed out of your mouth at the wordless rescue.

Soon enough Namjoon found your ‘floor seats’ which was actually just standing space on the grass towards the back of the venue, still surrounded by a throng of people. They weren’t the best seats, but you were pressed for time and you didn’t even know if you were going to like the act yet so yeah you bought cheap seats. 

As it turned out, the group wasn’t half bad. You and Namjoon were dancing along to the music and sharing your thoughts on the lyrics and production all the while like a couple of nerds. 

“This reminds me of a beat I’ve been working on.” He spoke in your ear to be heard above the music. You look at him intriguedly. 

“You make music?”

“Yeah, I’ll let you listen to it sometime.” 

“I’d like that.”

Several songs into the night, the style of the music completely changed to something more intense. You were about to comment on the switch up to Namjoon when you were shoulder checked by someone pushing their way in between the two of you to get closer to the stage.

You held your shoulder in pain and Namjoon began making his way back to you with a concerned look as another person came running wildly in between you. Before you knew it, nearly everyone around you began to follow suit and started violently running to the middle of the crowd and at this point Namjoon was nowhere in sight. 

“Fuck!” You cursed anxiously. You could barely see above the thrashing bodies, but you finally got a glimpse of the huge open circle of people ahead. 

“Oh, no.” You immediately try to make your escape, but only find yourself getting jostled around by all the chaotic limbs. You were starting to panic now and you were getting nowhere in this horde of people. 

“Y/N!” You suddenly heard your name above the blaring music and turned to your left to find Namjoon with his arm outstretched towards you. You didn’t hesitate to take hold of it and let him pull you through the massive crowd, practically bulldozing people out of your way. It would have been amazing to watch if you weren’t so wound up and in pain right now. 

You finally made it to the exit of the arena and you feel like you can breathe again. They were heavy, shallow breaths, but you were breathing. 

“Y/N, are you okay?” He panted out, looking you over carefully. “Yeah… yeah, I think so.” You nodded. “Damn. If I had known there was gonna be a fucking mosh pit, I would never have come--or invited you! Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.” You started spewing out apologies. 

“No, no, you couldn’t have known. It’s fine, I’m fine.” He assured, holding one hand to his broad chest. That’s when you noticed his other hand was still snugly wrapped around yours. You gulped nervously and your eyes bulged in response, but Namjoon didn’t seem to notice or care and it actually felt really nice, especially after what you just went through so you let it be. 

“That was wild. Are you sure you’re okay?” He repeated, still coming down from the adrenaline. “Yeah, I am now.” You smiled, glancing down at your connected hands. 

“Good.” He sounded genuinely relieved and that fact made your heart flutter. “You hungry by any chance?” 

“Oh my god, I’m fucking starving.” You admit and you swear you could feel your stomach twist at the thought of food. Namjoon chuckled, “Good because so am I.” And with that, you continued down the street in search of dinner with your hands still clasped.

The two of you settled on a nice enough family owned pizza place, the closest thing you could find on google maps, where you chowed down on pepperoni slices and beer. 

“You know, I’ve never actually met a girl who genuinely likes beer the way you do.” He shared, regarding you admirably. You look up from your plate abruptly with cheese hanging out of your mouth, which Namjoon got a good chuckle out of. You had a hard enough time trying to ignore the way your knees touched under the table and then he looked at you like that.

“There’s no way.” You replied, once you gathered yourself. “You have plenty of girl friends, not a single one of them likes it?”

“Not that many girl friends, actually,” He corrected with a lazy point of his finger. “And no, I mean they pretend to like it, but it’s obvious they don’t. But it seems like your preferred choice,” You slowly nod in agreement, feeling analyzed. 

“That is true, I do love a good beer. But that’s just crazy to me. I guess that means I’m special.” You concluded in a sing-song voice.

“Or that I need to get out more.” He offers jokingly and you may have laughed just a bit too loud. “But yeah, I have to agree. You are pretty special.” He added when the laughter died down. You didn’t know how to react to the sudden sincerity in his tone or the way he looked you over as if you were a gift.

You just took a deep breath and internalized the fact that nothing would ever come from it and gave a simple ‘thank you’ through a tight lipped smile. 

Pretty soon the plates were cleared and the beers were emptied so you found your way to the next bus stop home, no hand holding this time much to your dismay. It’s probably for the best, you thought. There was no need to get your hopes up, especially now. 

The walk was long and hot, but filled with conversation so it wasn’t all bad. You finally made it when you noticed the clouds change from gray to black in a matter of seconds. “Oh, no.” You let slip for the second time tonight. 

The sun had set hours ago and neither of you checked the forecast for later thinking you would have been home by now. How could you have known it was going to rain? A crackle of thunder was heard and the light rain drops instantly turned to heavy water pellets. Correction: pour. 

You each looked around you for anything you could take cover with, but the bus stop was simply a poll and most places were closed with, surprisingly, no awnings. You were two sitting ducks getting soaked. 

You can’t help, but laugh bitterly at yourself before turning to Namjoon. “Could this day get any better?” The sarcasm is ever so present in your tone. He only looked down at you warmly despite the cold rain falling down his face and breathed, “I mean, I think it could.” as his fingers slotted through yours.

The confusion on your face when you looked down at your hand and up again must have been priceless because he couldn’t keep himself from chuckling as he cupped your face and leaned in to kiss you. 

You were still in a state of shock when his soft, wet lips touched yours. You couldn’t believe this was happening at all, but you forced your body to react because you didn’t know when you would get another chance like this again. Even if you were dreaming you were going to take advantage of this moment. Please don’t be dreaming, you thought desperately. 

You begin actually kissing him back and once he sees you’ve returned the effort he deepens the kiss, making you groan fervently into his mouth. He trades in your hand to cup the other side of your face and you bring your hands to his lower back to pull him closer to you, your soaked bodies pressing together with no complaints. You could feel every inch of his toned upper body through his shirt and you loved it.

You don’t want it to end, but as you hear the bus approaching, you leave a few fleeting pecks on each other’s lips. “You're right. It did get better.” You grinned once you finally pulled away.

“I told you.” You both laughed freely and boarded the bus. Namjoon insisted on escorting you all the way home, ignoring your protestations and soon enough you arrived at your apartment door hand in hand. 

“Well, this is me.” You sighed with disappointment. “You really didn’t have to walk me all the way up to the fourth floor.”

“Yeah I did, but it’s fine. It’s easier going down anyways.” He shrugged.

“You know, I hear it’s actually the opposite.” You shifted gears, trying to sound as convincing as possible. His eyebrows furrowed with bemusement. “Oh, really?” Namjoon queried.

“Yeah,” You nodded with conviction. “The walk down will be so much harder and tiresome than the walk up.” Namjoon nodded with you and hummed along, making a show of hanging on your every word. 

“And then you’d have to go back out into the rain and no one wants to do that.” You feigned concern for his journey back home knowing the rain was subsiding as you entered the building. 

“Yeah, you might be right,” He bit his lip worriedly. “But now I have nowhere to go.” He fretted dramatically, looking to you for answers. You hold back a laugh before offering a solution. 

“I think I can help. Why don’t you come in and have a drink until the rain passes? I mean you still have to deal with those brutal stairs, but I can make sure you get home warm and dry.” You offered suggestively, taking a tentative step towards him. 

“Oh, thank you so much, Y/N. I really appreciate this.” He crooned gratefully, closing the distance between you. 

You smiled timidly up at him, suddenly shy from all the undivided attention. “Anything for a friend,” You dared, playing along. At your words, Namjoon gently gripped you by the waist and kissed your lips just as tenderly. 

“Oh, I really hope we can be more than that.” He proposed, deeply in your ear sending a chill through you.

“I would love nothing more.” You smirked over his shoulder before he captured your lips in a searing kiss that you felt in your toes. You guess you should have been thanking Yoongi after all. But that can wait until tomorrow, you decided.

[xserpentlife]

Working From Home

Requested: no

A/N Sorry it’s been so long y’al uploads have been hard, summer I thought I would have so much more time but between watching my little cousin and everything I just had none and then school started back up and all i Have been doing is school work so it has just been tough. I am going to be uploading when I can, but I wanted to give you guys this little blurb I have been wanting to write.

Warnings: Smut

Word Count: 682

Working from home wasn’t all that bad, and the best part was Pea always brought you home goodies on his breaks during jobs and from the bar. You also got to spend as much time as you wanted petting your dog Rocket, so how could the day really go bad when you had Pea and your dog by your side. Simply, it couldn’t, life was great. That was how it was most of the time anyway.

See, your boss had this way of blaming others for his problems, and since he did not understand technology  you were the one helping everyone out since you were the youngest, everything fell on you.  Luckily, you got through the terrible week you were having. You felt so bad about it because you were being an absolute bitch to Pea and you knew it.

It was Friday, and with one meeting left of the day you were ready to get the terrible work week over with and go cuddle with Pea who was waiting for you on the couch. It was his day off so after your morning meeting you were taking the rest of the day as personal time and spending it with him.

You had logged onto Zoom and were sitting on your meeting looking very cute, you might add, professional but cute, knowing you'd be going over to  Pea after, hoping to get him to turn his head. You had on a nice skirt and a button up top, with your makeup done, a dark red with a brown light smokey eye.

You grabbed your water from the table, as your boss asked you a question while discussing your next assignment to your colleagues. You felt something brush against your leg, and you figured it was Rocket coming in for his morning pets.

Quicker than you could think your legs were spread apart and your hand slammed down on the desk as a tongue ran up the inside of your thigh. You knew exactly who it was not what it was at that exact moment. “Mr Adams I assure you the project will be a smashing SUCCess” You felt Peas hand pull your underwear to the side as his tongue ran across your clit.

“Y/L/N are you alright” “Fine Sir, Sorry”

“As I was saying the project is about open access for all of the surrounding areas, and I think that you will really enjoy what our team has put *cough* together here”

“I understand but you know me I am an in person kind of guy, listen I’ll give you a chance here but…”

You needed Pea now, but you couldn’t You tried pushing Peas head and hands away which made him go even harder ripping your underwear and sucking your clit into his mouth as hard as possible

“Now”

“Oh so you are going to be pushy Miss Y/L/N?”

“No Sir.. I, my dog”

“Next week! Bring the presentation and make it good, all of you, and next time watch the dog” you watched the screen flash *Meeting ended by host* as your orgasm washed over you, your body trembled, shaking you felt your head lull back against your chair screaming as you moaned out.

“Fuck Pea, fuck, dont stop, please, please dont stop” you moaned out once again

He leaned over you, hands on each arm of your chair as he looked into your eyes “You okay baby” you chuckled, smiling at him, before smacking him in the chest.

“What the fuck was that!”

“What!?”

“You almost got me fired!, what the fuck Pea!”

“Cmon, you know you liked it, and you didn’t get in trouble soooo”

“Pea! They almost saw me cum!, You're in the dog house you mutt”

He gave you his signature smirk “That's fine but uhm, can we go to my dog bed… I think I deserve a treat?”

“Okay, fine” he smiled like a mad man before pulling you out of the room by your chair and pushing you into the bedroom without warning

“Ahhh, slow the fuck down”

“Never, baby”

[jensungf]

𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐀𝐑 & 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐄 ♥︎ 𝐥.𝐣𝐧

summary: sugar or spice? you decide what the ‘s’ in today’s episode of j♥︎smr stands for ;) ft. the pocky challenge gone wrong?

pairing: fem!reader + asmr youtuber!jeno  genre: boyfriend!au + fluff + suggestive content!!!! + some humor cus i think im funny word count: 2.4k  warnings: allusions to sex, making out lol

author’s note: soooo uh first time for everything aka writing sum suggestive hehe thank you mary @neostains for reading over this!!! and @gohyuck for helping make the title!! can you tell i’m whipped for jeno??? bc i definitely can.

“jenooooo,” you flopped over onto your stomach as your eyes followed the outline of boyfriend’s jawline, drinking in every part of his handsome face until you found his eyes. his rimmed glasses were perched on top of his nose as he mindlessly scrolled through his phone, not even bothering to look up. typical, you thought with pursed lips and a side-eye directed at your un-attentive idiot of a boyfriend. “what, baby?”

you sighed, outstretching your body on the bed before rolling over to look at him again. you prop yourself up on your elbow with your head rested in the palm of your hand. “i’m bored,” you whined.

“okay, what do you want to do?” he asked without missing a beat. it was already past noon, and as per your agreement before moving in together, sundays were strictly saved to stay in and relax. but for some reason, you were just itching to get out of bed.

you pondered over your options before exhaling in exasperation. “i have no idea! you figure it out.”

you didn’t even didn’t bother to bat an eyelash when you heard his immediate suggestion to go biking, instead groaning at your boyfriend’s obsession with the pastime. he never liked to leave the house unless it was the gym or going out to do something physical, much to your dismay.

“jeno, as much as i love you and my bike, my legs might give out if i even try to move from our bed,” you huffed, lips jutted out as you glanced down to your legs. goddamn, were they sore.

you groaned externally at the tension in your overworked muscles. you even had trouble getting up to make breakfast today. jeno had awoken to your whimpers of pain as you struggled to walk to the restroom, and instead of asking if you were okay, he had immediately burst out in laughter at your misery. your incessant whines prompted him to carry you back to bed after you finished washing up in the restroom, and he had sweetly brought you breakfast in bed with a side of cuddles to make up for what you deemed was “all his fault.” not that it actually was, but you weren’t going to admit that.

he finally lifted his eyes from the luminescent phone screen to your figure sprawled on the other side of your shared king size bed, his lips curling to a smug grin as he reached over to let his fingers graze your smooth legs. “wow, is my baby that sore?”

“yeah, yeah, whatever mister muscle pig. not all of us have the stamina of a horse,” you sniggered, pouting. you could never understand how strong and built jeno could be despite sharing almost the same diet as you. just your luck.

jeno’s smirk grew as leaned over, his warm breath tickling your ear. his voice dropped down multiple octaves as he whispered, “watch it princess, that’s not what you were saying last ni—“

you suddenly sat up, effectively cutting him as your boyfriend recoils to avoid bonking noggins with you. “wait, i know!” you announce, the sound of your boyfriend’s voice attempt to sound sexy suddenly triggering a lightbulb in your brain.

“hey! i was trying to say something,” he complained, causing you to roll your eyes.

“oh, please, your hormones can wait, big boy.”

he shot you a look of annoyance as you grinned mischievously, crawling over to his side. he gulped as he saw your oversized t-shirt ride up a bit, exposing more of your skin. you leaned in towards him, causing him to drop his phone, as the mere scent of you engulfed his senses. the sultry look on your face and your hot breath fanning against his ear caused goosebumps to prickle throughout every inch of his skin, and his breath hitched.

you whispered, “why don’t we—”

you paused as jeno’s smirk returned, biting his lip in anticipation.

“— do jsmr?” you finished with a laugh.

jeno groaned as his anticipation immediately died down. he shot you an incredulous look. “really, baby?”

“yes! now get your booty up!” you barked, tugging on his biceps to no avail. jeno sighed and bit back a smile before he got out of bed, shuffling his feet across the room. before you could cackle in delight, you felt your body being lifted off of the bed as jeno’s strong arms carried you bridal-style into the corridor. your arms flailed for a split-second before relaxing in his embrace. “show off,” you scoffed as your arms reached to circle around his neck.

he snorted. “aren’t you happy i’m a muscle pig?” you smiled and pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek.

“my man,” you drawl out sarcastically, squeezing his muscles and poking his chest jokingly.

jeno walked into the living room, carefully setting you down on the couch before heading into the kitchen. “what do you want to eat, babe?” he asked.

“on second thought, i’m actually not that hungry.”

jeno’s head whirled to your direction, “seriously? again?” you laughed at your boyfriend’s raised eyebrows and eyes bulging out of his sockets at your incessant teasing.

“i’m kidding, you can choose.”

jeno mumbled under his breath, “how ridiculous— we just went shopping last week— did jisung eat the ice cream again?” as he looked through the fridge. you couldn’t help but snort at how quickly your groceries had disappeared after a single visit by the boys. he rummaged through the pantry before a small aha! escaped his lips, having found the boxes of pocky you both stashed in the secret compartment of your pantry (yes, secret compartment, because everyone knew how quickly the boys would raid your food the moment they even stepped into the apartment). you decide to set up the camera and tripod, fiddling around and fishing for jeno’s set of microphones and earbuds from the desk.

“hey babe, where did you put the earbuds?” you called out. you bit your lip as you dug through the drawers, struggling to find where you had put your earbuds. “i’ll get it,” he responded.

you returned to the living room and admired your handiwork as you finished setting up the equipment. jeno returns with the snacks and earbuds.

“are you ready?” he asked, and you nodded your head eagerly as he reached over to start the camera, the red light flashing as the timer started.

“hi everyone!” you whispered-screamed, causing jeno to wince away from you. you bit back a laugh at your boyfriend’s anguished face and jeno sighed, continuing. “hi guys, welcome back to another episode of jsmr—“

“plus y/n!” you piped up. “today, we’re going to be doing the pocky challenge!” you announce excitedly despite only whispering.

“wait, what?” jeno’s volume is forgotten, causing both of you to flinch. “shhh, jeno!” you scolded.

he gave you an unamused look. “i wasn’t aware of this though!” he protested. you grinned cheekily before turning to the camera. “surprise! did you guys like his reaction??”

as much as you weren’t a huge fan of being in his videos, you figured it would be fun to let go for once and mess with your boyfriend.

jeno sighed and decided to go along with you, another idea formulating in his head. “anyway— i guess we’re doing the pocky challenge today,” he mumbled disdainfully. you beamed at his words before softly grabbing a box of pocky off the table and showcasing it to the camera. jeno grabs your hand and you both start messing with the packaging before jeno begins to whisper again.

“today we have the strawberry pocky— sorry jaems, this isn’t for you,” said jeno. you both carefully open the box, trying to stifle your laughter as the decibel meter suddenly turns red. you smack jeno as he fails to keep quiet, and he returns the favor by tickling you. thanks to your competitive streak with jeno, you both had decided to dare each other to see who could open it the quietest with the loser having to play overwatch with hyuck. you had easily won of course, skillfully and stealthily opening the box.

jeno begins grumbling, realizing he would have to suffer hours trying to beat donghyuck at overwatch, which unfortunately, happened to not be his favorite video game. “not my fault you suck,” you taunted. he retaliated by extending his hand out to cover your mouth, effectively shutting you up as he turned the camera with his signature eye smile.

you punched his stomach after prying his hand off of you, and glared at him.

“and that, my friends, is why i’m the best at asmr,” you gloat victoriously, pretending to snobbily ignore your boyfriend with a childish “hmph!”  

jeno sighed in defeat. “i let her win, don’t be fooled.” jeno rolls his eyes with a smile.

“nah, that just means he’s whipped for me,” you raise your eyebrows suggestively at your boyfriend. he grins and attacks your sides with tickles, causing you to scream and fight against him as your earbuds fall out. both of you burst into laughter. you squirmed away to no avail as your boyfriend’s strong arms held you back. you both regain your composure before returning your attention back to the camera.

jeno was usually not this touchy on camera, choosing to keep your relationship private, making you silently wonder if he was actually going to upload this. you narrowed your eyes suspiciously as your innocently oblivious boyfrined. he grabs your earbuds and helps you fix your disheveled appearance with jabs about how crazy you looked, leading you to grab a piece of pocky and shoving it in his mouth to get him to shut up.

“anyways, for anyone who doesn’t know what the pocky challenge is— it’s basically a challenge where you have a piece of pocky, and two people eating it from each end,” you explained, voice dropping back down to a whisper.

jeno finishes the pocky and nods, leaning into the microphone to continue, “the first person whose mouth moves off the stick loses. you have to get to the middle first to win. if the participants end up kissing, it is a tie.” he makes a funny face at the camera at the mention of kissing, wriggling his eyebrows as he wrinkles his nose in fake disgust. you slap his arm, sniggering. whoever said he wasn’t funny was blind, you thought in amusement at your boyfriend’s childish antics.

you turn to your boyfriend, your competitiveness igniting a fire in your eyes. “are you ready to lose, babe?” you mock haughtily. you crossed your ears and jutted your chin away from him dramatically.

“only in your dreams, sweetheart,” jeno shot back teasingly, his eyes crinkling.

“hah, you wish.” you position the strawberry-covered biscuit between your lips to firmly secure your end of the stick. you motion for jeno to get closer, as he daintily places the other end of the pocky above his supple bottom lip. you steady yourself by holding onto his broad shoulders, and began by taking the first bite, lips slowly inching towards jeno’s. the air in the room is thick with tension as you stare down jeno’s determined eyes. he was trying his best not to downright laugh at how adorable you were right now, his competitiveness consuming him as he plotted another plan in the back of his mind.

not a sound could be heard throughout the silent room, only the deep breathing and sound of the biscuit being broken into pieces. your body stiffened. you could feel his breath getting closer to yours and smell the slight whiff of his cologne and the laundry detergent despite the strong artificial smell of strawberry. jeno’s gaze was locked on your face, his body unmoving except for his head and mouth, leaning closer and closer to you. you both inched towards one another, and you were almost at the middle, at victory, when—

jeno abruptly bit off a huge piece of pocky before connecting his lips with yours. you pull back in surprise and finish the remaining piece of biscuit before realizing what had happened.

this idiot really just cheated.

you open your mouth to shout at him yet the indignant shrieks on the tip of your tongue are suddenly swallowed by his plush lips pressed against yours. all signs of protest leave your body as you get lost in the sweet taste of your boyfriend. as your hands found purchase in his hair, the earbuds fall out without a second thought, long forgotten. your eyes flutter shut and you melt into the kiss, hands moving down to loop around his neck and rest at his nape.

it felt like jeno knew you like the back of his hand, knowing every one of your weak spots as he cupped your jaw with one hand and traced circles with the pad of his thumb onto your cheek. his hands soon wander to snake under the shirt that you were wearing (which oh so conveniently happen to be his) to rest comfortably against your hips; his touch cool against the warmth of your skin.

you sighed contentedly as you both parted to take a breath of air. after a brief moment, jeno takes another opportunity to reattach his lips, his tongue slipping past your lips to savor the sweetness of the tart strawberry flavor. you part your lips more, simply by instinct, to allow the kiss to deepen, and you can’t help but moan a little. his kisses soon turn needier by the second, with you gripping onto the nape of his neck and with him pulling you into his lap. his tongue explored your mouth with lazy yet languid motions, and you pull away breathlessly.

jeno smirks at your dazed face before he swoops in, not giving you a chance to stay away for long.

“you.” peck. “lose.” peck.

jeno mumbles more incoherent words into your skin, peppering kisses from your lips to everywhere else on your face. he moves down to leave a trail of wet kisses from your jawline to your neck. you tilt your head back to allow him more access to your throat as he begins sucking your skin, his teeth lightly grazing each sweet spot. his fingers dance from your hips down to grab your ass as you grind into his lap more, earning jeno the pleasure of hearing your small whine. you exhale blissfully as splotches of red and purple begin blooming all across your neck.

suddenly the gleaming light catches your attention. you gasp and smack jeno, causing him to pout and halt in his ministrations. “what?” he asks almost irritatedly— only to see you point at the camera.

“oh my god— it’s still rolling!” you shriek.

you cover your red, swollen lips and feel your face turn hot as jeno stares blankly. realization settles in before his mouth drops in shock, ears turning red.

he had forgotten about the camera.

jeno quickly reaches over to shut it off as you stare in horror. he scratches his neck awkwardly as you groan and slump back on the couch. jeno suddenly becomes amused at your reaction despite his embarrassment. as much as he didn’t expect for his little stunt to ruin the competition to go this far, he had to enjoy the fact that he managed to make you go from brimming with confidence to a flustered and unsurprisingly, turned on mess.

“what is it, babe? are you really that embarrassed?” he teased, his crescent eyes gazing in adoration at you.

you turn to look at jeno in shock, your mouth agape.

“jeno, we almost made a sex tape!”

[cutie1365]

A Kid from Queens Part 21

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Info: CA: Civil War Era. Tony Stark enlists his daughter to find the web slinging spider in Queens.

Word count: 5.4k

Warnings: 18+ content, smut, language. (I had aged up Peter so he’s 18.)

A/N: Flashbacks in italics as usual :) I know it’s been forever, motivation is hard to come by these days. This is the longest thing I’ve ever written, it’s long enough to break into two chapters but I know I haven’t uploaded in a while so Merry Christmas lol.

Any and all feedback is much appreciated! Please please if you could just leave a little message of things you like or what you want to see in the future it really helps.

Masterlist linked in my bio. Taglist in the reblog.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

“Y/N! Y/N! Over here!” You heard your name called as Happy opens the limo door. He extends his hand to help you to your feet.

“Stark, look over here!” The paparazzi screams were almost deafening as Peter exited the car after you. His mask hid more of his features while yours left little to the imagination, they knew who you were already, so no point in trying to hide it.

“Behave.” Happy pointed a stern finger at you.

“Don’t I always.” You feigned offense as your hand clapped over your heart, he raised a brow as your mouth turned up into a smirk.

“Goodnight Happy.” You chuckled, turning and stepping onto the red carpet leading to the venue.

“Who are you wearing?” You heard different questions screamed in your direction. This was a charity gala after all, not the fucking Oscars. Who cares who made your dress?

You slipped your hand into Peters, trying to calm him. This had to be overwhelming, all the cameras in your face, screaming anything they can to get you to look their way.

“Dr. Stark!” One voice called, gaining your attention. Few people addressed you with your appropriate title. You turned to see a young woman, who didn’t look like she’s been on the job for very long. She was holding her own though, against all these ruthless reporters. You thought you saw The Bugle among them.

“Dr. Stark, Glory Grant from the Times.” She smiled once you looked her way. You took a step closer to her, nodding at her to let her know you were listening and she could continue, “Can you tell us why this cause is important to you?”

“Of course, every child’s life we can save is like an investment into our and their future. They’re going to be the ones to take over the world someday. Who knows who will be the next Einstein, or Madam Curie...” You began with a smile.

“Or Y/N Stark,” She smiled. You laughed, shaking your head humbly.

“If we can do our part in donating and relieving some of the financial burdens off of their parents then it’s worth it. This organization not only helps families and children currently fighting cancer, but it helps look for a cure. A permanent solution to help end this disease.” You spoke from your heart.

“Thank you so much Dr. Stark.” She smiled as she scribbled the last of your words onto her notepad.

“Are you new at the Times Ms. Grant?” You asked, taking another step closer to her and the barrier between the two of you.

“Yeah, I just started.” She smiled nervously.

“Can I borrow your pen?” You asked, and she handed you her pen and pad.

“That’s my work number. If you’d like to be added to the Stark Industries press board, give me a call. They’re the first ones we call about press releases and announcements.” You spoke as you scribbled it down, handing it back to her with a smile.

“Thank you so much Dr. Stark, but why are you helping me?” She furrowed her brows.

“Because it's a man's world, and we can help change that, one woman at a time,” You said, causing her to laugh, “You’re the only one here to actually address me by my title and not ask me about my outfit. I see a bright career ahead of you.” You nodded to her as you took a step back towards the middle of the carpet.

“Enjoy tonight,” she smiled, beaming at the new opportunity. You winked at her as you took Peter’s hand and led him along the carpet and up the stairs towards the venue.

“That was nice of you,” He squeezed your hand.

“I mean it’s effortless for me, but it will help kick start her career. I got this kinda third eye about people.” You smirked.

“That’s not a real thing.” He shook his head with a laugh.

“Sure it is. It’s not always perfect, but sometimes I can just tell when people are destined for something great. Like you, from the moment I met you I knew.” You turned towards him, taking his other hand in yours.

“You knew what?” He titled his head in confusion.

You leaned in to press a chaste kiss to his lips, forgetting you were at the top of the stairs and still in full sight of all the photographers. You saw the flashes but you didn’t care. Peter’s identity was safe with his mask, and you wanted the whole work to know how happy he made you.

“That you’re a good person, and you’re gonna do big things.” You beamed up at him as you pulled away from the kiss, turning to lead him inside.

“So what else can this third eye tell you?” He asked curiously.

“It’s kinda like a gut feeling, to trust someone or not trust them. Like fight or flight, something’s not right kinda feeling. I just trust my gut, ya know.” You shrugged.

“I think I know exactly what you mean.” He said, and you turned to him with a raised brow before remembering your conversation from a week ago.

“Oh that’s right, like your spidey senses.” You chuckled, making sure to keep your voice low.

“My what?” His eyes went wide.

“You said you can sense when something bad's gonna happen. Although mine isn’t as specific and can’t be attributed to a radioactive spider.” You chuckled, walking to a secluded corner of the ballroom.

“Shh someone could hear you.” He whispered, you smiled, shaking your head, knowing everyone’s always drunk at these sorts of things.

Turning to face Peter, you raised your hands to straighten his bow tie. Your mind wandered to how great he looked in his suit. The feeling of butterflies swirling in your belly from the moment you saw him step through your door a few hours ago had barely worn off.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

“Wow,” you both muttered as your eyes landed on each other. You’d never seen him all dressed up like this. He looked good, really good. You gulped, trying to push the dirty thoughts from your mind.

His hair was slicked back, not the mess of curls you were used to. He looked so grown up. You could almost picture him commanding a Stark Industries board meeting or standing at the end of an isle. Wait- slow down Y/N, jesus.

He looked so natural, so dapper, and then he turns and gives you that signature goofy smile- there he is. It brought a smile to your face. How did you get so lucky? How could you have landed a guy as great and handsome as Peter Parker. Were the girls at his school brain dead? You would think everyone would want him. Kind, sweet, intelligent, respectful, and Christ he cleans up well. He was everything you’d ever dreamed of.

Have you just been staring this whole time? Jesus, Y/N say something, he’ll think you’re crazy, you thought.

“Are you ready to go?” You asked, trying to compose yourself. He only nodded, still not able to formulate words.

You were wearing red. His red. No- not his red obviously, but the same color of his suit. And god he loved it. He felt like you were wearing a piece of him. Like he had marked you, you were his.

“You look...” He trailed off, his eyes still wide. He cleared his throat and smiled, trying to compose himself. You could almost hear his internal monologue urging him on - Come on Peter, keep it together..., “You look... God Y/N. You look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” You blushed. Of course that wasn’t the first time someone had told you that, but coming from Peter it felt different, “You look so handsome. Not your usual kind of suit, huh?” You smirked, causing him to chuckle as he pulled on his sleeves.

“I have your mask.” You smiled, still admiring him, holding the mask out to him.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

“Why doesn’t your mask hide your identity?” Peter asked, as the two of you watched more and more people file into the ballroom.

“Because people will know who I am anyway, and I’m not hiding.” You explained.

“How will they know?” He furrowed his brows, you shook your wrist in response.

“I don’t know anyone else with a custom blaster built into a bracelet. I’m also on the younger side, and pulled up in a ride with Stark Industries plates, so it wouldn’t take a genius.” You smiled, starting to recognize a few faces of regulars as you people watched.

“Do you always wear that thing?” He asked, holding up your wrist and examining it.

“No, I’ve got a watch for day to day wear that does the same thing. Dad may not give me a suit, but he won’t leave me completely defenseless. And it has come in handy.” You trailed off, remembering the not so fond memories of the last time you used it. Your ribs still ached if you thought about it long enough.

“Let’s hope you don’t have to use it tonight.” Peter said, craving one normal night without having to be a hero.

“Someone would have to be very ambitious to attack this place, they’ve got security out the wazoo.” You brushed off, praying tonight would go well.

A hush fell over the crowd as the charity president walked onto the stage and welcomed everyone. You felt Peter’s hand slip around your waist protectively as everyone pushed a little closer to the stage to hear. This part was pretty standard, basically a little speech to kick off the  night, a thank you for coming, and who to make all checks out to. Music filled the ballroom as the band began playing after the applause for the speaker died down.

“I’ll get us something to drink.” Peter nodded off towards the open bar.

You nod as he walks off and turn to admire the ballroom. Your eyes soon land on a familiar face.

“Dr. Strange,” You smile, greeting him.

“Dr. Stark,” He nods. You’d met a few times at these sorts of events. You hadn’t seen him for a while though, and there were rumors of an accident.

“How are you Stephen? I haven’t seen you since...” You paused to trying and remember, “Was it that benefit for the hospital a year ago?”

“Had to be, I’ve been... traveling.” He stated ominously. You glanced down to see the long thin scars along his fingers.

“Well it’s nice to have you back.” You smiled.

Peter now rejoined you at your side, slipping a drink into your hands- non-alcoholic of course, per May’s request. His other hand found its way to the small of your back.

“Peter, this is Dr. Stephen Strange.” You introduced him.

“Peter Parker,” He smiled, shaking the doctor’s hand. Something you couldn’t describe flashed over Peter’s eyes as they shook hands. Like a gut feeling he couldn’t quite place. For some reason his spidey senses were going off.

“Enjoy your evening, I need to check in at work.” Strange gave a curt nod and smile as he said his goodbyes. As he walked past you he dropped his voice to a whisper and spoke into your ear, “I like this one much better than the last.”

“Me too,” You whispered back with a smirk.

“So... how do you know him?” Peter asked curiously as the doctor excused himself to call the hospital.

“We run in the same circles, it’s a lot of the same people that come to these sorts of things. His hospital donates a lot of money to these causes and when he pisses off the board they send him to represent them as punishment.” You explained.

“This is a punishment?” Peter asked, dumbfounded.

“For a neurosurgeon it might just be,” You laughed, shaking your head, “I’m surprised he’s here.”

“Why?” He furrowed his brows.

“I heard he was in an accident not too far back. A bad one. I didn’t know he had gone back to work. Hmm...” You looked off to where the man had disappeared to.

“Care to dance, Parker?” You changed the subject, taking his hand into yours and placing your drinks onto the nearest table.

As the song changed to I Only Have Eyes For You by The Flamingos, he held you in his arms, swaying slowly. You were lost in him, hours could have passed, or seconds. As your bodies were pressed together you felt a sensation you could only describe as home.

“So has it been everything you dreamed it would be? These stuffy formalities for rich people to get drunk and spend money.” You chuckled as you looked up at him.

“It’s beautiful, but I guess, I mean it seems so glamorous from the outside.” He shook his head.

“Sorry to burst the bubble for you. It’s a little less Gatsby, and a little more, middle aged businessman doing coke in the bathroom.” You quipped.

Peter’s head immediately whipped towards the bathroom door where two men were emerging, one rubbing his nose.

“No way...” He looked back to you with wide eyes.

“You’d be surprised.” You chuckled.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

After a little more dancing and mingling you and Peter made your way out onto the deserted balcony.

“Are you cold?” He asked, as he leaned onto the railing next to you. You were hiding it well but he still sensed it.

“A little.” You chuckled, cursing those spidey senses for giving you away.

Peter slipped off his coat and placed it over your shoulders. You thanked him as you turned to admire the moonlit lake below you. It was so quiet and peaceful, untouched by the party going on just on the other side of the glass doors.

“Did you have a good day?” Peter asked.

“Perfect.” You looked up to him and smiled, and you meant it.

“Um, so, Happy told me that you don’t like to celebrate your birthday but,” Peter began to speak, nervously. Your eyes grew wide, how in the world did he know it was your birthday? That was the one day you liked to keep private and out of the press. Only the Avengers, Pepper and Happy knew when it was. “I wanted to give you this. Everyone deserves at least one present on their birthday.”

“Peter you didn’t-” You shook your head, before he cut you off.

“I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to. And don’t worry, Mr. Stark swore me to secrecy so I won’t go announcing it to the world.” He reassured you as he reached into his pocket to pull out a little box.

“I know it’s not much, and I’m sure you have a million other fancy things, but I wanted you to have this.” Peter opened the box nervously, revealing a necklace. It was a single pearl and diamond dangling from a silver chain. Simple, but beautiful. “It was my mothers. Aunt May said that my dad gave it to her on their wedding day.”

Your jaw dropped slightly and your hand went over your heart.

“Peter, I-” How could you accept this? It was probably one of the last bits he had of his mother and he was just giving it away? You knew how much they meant to him, and he’d been through so much. With losing both parents so young and then his Uncle Ben not that long ago. Tears began to pool up in your eyes. Did he really care about you that much to part with something this important?

“Are you sure?” You asked softly.

“Of course I am. She would have loved you. She would have wanted you to have it.” Peter spoke, slipping the necklace on you as a single tear slipped down your cheek.

You turned back to him with a smile, he gently rubbed his thumb across your cheek to wipe the tear away. He didn’t know what to say- actually that’s a lie. He knew exactly what three words he wanted to say, but he thought it might be too soon and he might scare you. He absolutely didn’t want that. So he just smiled at you as you leaned in to kiss him.

You pulled away and wiped your tears, trying your best not to mess up your makeup.

“Thank you Peter.” You sniffled, chuckling at how silly you were being.

“Happy birthday.” He beamed as you heard the band strike up a slow song inside. He extended his hand to you, “Y/N Stark, can I have this dance?”

There was that goofy smile again, causing you to giggle as you placed your hand in his. He pulled you close, you rest your head on his shoulder as you both sway to the music. And for once in your life, everything was perfect.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

After everyone had said their goodbyes and they ushered you out of the venue, you and Peter began your short walk through the park to the Plaza Hotel across the street.

“Tonight was like a dream,” You said, as you swung your intertwined hands slightly.

“Haven’t you been to a million of these things.” Peter chuckled and shook his head.

“Yes, but I’ve never been to one with someone I love and it’s a very different experience I’ve learned.” You spoke, causing Peter to stop.

You turned to face him as you noticed his wide eyes, not believing the words that just came out of your mouth. It took him a minute to process. One, that meant you loved him. And two, that meant you were never in love with Thomas, since you’d been to these events with him before.

“Ok, you’re kinda scaring me now Peter,” You laughed nervously at his awestruck state.

“You love me?” He asked, and you answered with a nod and a smile.

He placed his hands on either side of your face and pulled you into a sweeping kiss.

“Am I dreaming?” Peter asks, pulling away, looking for any sign on your face that this was all some sort of joke.

“I sure hope not,” You chuckle.

“I love you too,” Peter beams at you, pulling you into another kiss.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

“Woah...” You and Peter both mutter as you push open the door to your hotel room. Now this was fancy. You felt like you were in a room in Buckingham Palace.

You both walked around, inspecting the room as you dropped your coats. You saw your bags in the corner that had already been brought up. You ran your hand over one of the pillows on the huge California King sized bed as your lips morphed into a smirk and an idea popped into your head. You clutched onto the pillow with one of your perfectly manicured hands as you spun around, whacking Peter with it.

“Hey!” He yelped, eyes growing wide at what you’d just done.

“Come on Parker, let’s see what you’ve got.” You tossed him another pillow from the bed with a smirk.

“O you’re gonna regret this,” He stalked towards you. You kicked off your heels and jumped onto the bed, standing up on your knees.

He swung his pillow as you ducked, it just missed you. You took the opportunity to whack him again. He looked at you with wide eyes, thinking, How had he missed?

“What? Couldn’t see that coming, bug boy?” You laughed. Taking those few seconds to gloat had proved fatal as you felt his pillow attack your side.

“Oof,” You feigned pain as you dropped backwards until your back hit the bed.

“Are you ok?” Peter asked, worried, thinking he’d really hurt you. With his super strength he was never sure.

You waited until he was kneeling next to you to jump into action, according to your plan. You jumped up, pushing him back onto the bed as you straddle him, grabbing your pillow and smacking him a few times.

“Ok, ok, you win!” Peter cried out, forfeiting.

“Yes!” You threw your pillow up in the air in victory. Peter looked up at you, still on top of him with your hair now a mess, hanging all around your face. He cherished the genuine smile on your face. All he wanted to do was kiss you, you looked so happy.

You crawled off of him and back onto the floor where you extended your hand to help him up. As he placed his hand into yours and rose to his feet, you didn’t notice his left hand reach for the pillow. Before you knew it, there was a pillow lightly thrown in your face.

“Peter!” You squealed through laughter. He knew you were about to retaliate when you reached for your own pillow on the bed. But he was faster, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you away.

“Come on, truce?” He asked as you struggled against his arms.

“Fine, truce.” You said, shaking his extended hand as he let you go.

“Hungry?” You asked, reaching for the room service menu on the desk and flipping through it.

“Starving.” He said, reading it over your shoulder.

After you had called in the food, you walked over to explore the rest of the room.

“They said it will be about an hour.” You told Peter, as you pushed open the door to the bathroom.

“So what do we do til then?” He asked, but you didn’t hear him.

“Jesus, look at the size of that tub.” You exclaimed, and Peter came over to your side to get a look at it too.

“Wow,” He said when his eyes landed on the giant clawfoot tub, “Um we definitely have to use that.”

You turned to face him with a smile.

“Really? You’d wanna do that?” You asked, who knew Peter Parker was a sucker for bubble baths.

“Absolutely. And do they have those big fluffy robes like in the movies?” He asked, excitedly, like a kid on Christmas.

You walked over to the closet and pulled the doors open, revealing two robes as described. You pulled them out and presented them to him.

“Cool...” His eyes lit up as he felt the material between his fingers.

You started to run the water, adding bath salts and bubbles, knowing it would take a while to fill the whole thing. Your things had already been brought to the room before you got there, so you got to work taking off your makeup and letting your now messy hair down.

You tried to reach for your zipper, as your body cried to be released from this skin tight dress.

“Hey Pete,” You called, and he strolled in the bathroom, now only wearing his dress pants and no shirt... and the butterflies were back. God how could he look that good, you stared shamelessly.

“You called?” He smirked, breaking your train of thought.

“Oh um, can you help me with my zipper?” You blushed, knowing you’d been caught.

“Mhm, turn around.” He instructed, before his fingers found the metal pull tab and he slowly worked it down, revealing more and more skin.

“There you go.” He smiled, placing a kiss on your shoulder, his gentle action nearly making you swoon. “I think the water’s ready if you want me to turn off the tap.”

“Yeah, yeah go ahead.” You nodded. You watched him turn off the spout and slip off his dress pants until he was just in his boxers. He folded them and set them aside before looking up to you. You were still holding your dress against your chest to keep it up, as the back gaped open and the thin straps slipped down your arms.

“Do you need help with that?” Peter asked, pointing to your dress, thinking you might need help taking it off. You thought you could manage, but on second thought you might need help. It was a tight dress and your stylist had helped you into it. You only nodded in response as Peter moved behind you. He gently helped you slip your arms through the straps and pulled the fabric down your body. He gave the fabric a quick tug as it struggled to get past your hips. You were now exposed in front of him. The dress was too tight for you to wear any sort of undergarments. He took you in for a moment before shifting his attention respectfully to the red indentations down your side from where the seams of the dress dug into you.

“Does this hurt?” He asked, gently rubbing his fingers down them.

“Not really,” You shook your head. He reached out his hand to help you into the tub without slipping.

You sank into the warm water as Peter dropped his boxers and joined you. Your eyes went wide at the size of him, and you looked away, a blush slowly crept onto your cheeks.

He must have noticed because the next thing you knew, a splash of water was hitting your face. You looked back to him in shock, he was sitting back laughing. You flicked your hand through the water, splashing him back.

You moved to do it again, but he grabbed your wrist, stopping you. You knew it was a good idea, if the two of you started going at it again like in the pillow fight, it would lead to a mess and an expensive clean up bill.

“Do they always book rooms this fancy for the galas?” Peter asked, taking in the room once more.

“I don’t know, this was the first time I’ve accepted it.” You shrugged, following his gaze up to the gold crown molding and chandelier.

“Really? I thought you did this all the time.” Peter assumed.

“No, I don’t make it a habit of jumping into tubs with strange men.” You joked.

“That’s not what I meant, and I’m not a strange man, I’m your boyfriend.” He teased as he pulled you towards him. You chuckled and placed your lips onto his quickly before pulling away.

“Say it again.” You smiled. He furrowed his brows for a moment before smiling.

“I’m... your... boyfriend.” He said slowly, placing a kiss on either cheek between words, his lips landing on yours after his last word.

He now had his arms around your waist, pulling you close as your lips collided. When you broke apart for air, he looked down at the necklace around your neck and smiled.

“This is a dream right? I’m dreaming.” Peter shook his head with a goofy grin, not being able to believe his eyes.

“Does this feel like a dream?” You asked, taking both of his hands and placing them onto your breasts. He responded by crashing his lips onto yours, he groaned against your mouth as he pulled you closer.

“It’s nice to know you dream about me Parker.” You quipped with a smirk as you broke apart for air. He chuckled at your cockiness.

“All the time, baby.” He replied, and the pet name rolled off his tongue before he even realized what he said. God you almost melted at the sound. It was your turn to crash your lips against his and let out a moan as his hand traveled down to squeeze your ass.

A knock at the door pulled you both apart as you stared at each other with wide eyes.

“Room service!” A voice called, causing you both to let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding in.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

The two of you sat at the dining table, both in your white fluffy robes with nearly dripping wet hair.

“God this is so good.” Peter said, stuffing his mouth.

“Mm, I know, I didn’t realize I was this hungry.” You said, doing the same. Who knew fancy hotels made burgers and fries this good.

You picked up a fry from your plate, waving it at Peter.

“Ready? Catch.” You said as you threw it across the table as Peter caught it in his mouth.

“Ok your turn,” Peter said, tossing one of his. You leaned to the side, nearly missing it, but catching it in your mouth. You thrust your fists in the air in celebration, causing Peter to chuckle.

The two of you ate and talked, before cleaning up.

“Ugh, I’m so full.” You groaned, falling back onto the bed, rubbing your full stomach, causing Peter to laugh.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Peter asked.

“Oo yeah, we should probably get out of these robes though.” You said, moving from the bed, not wanting to get it all wet.

“Here,” Peter said, moving to his duffle bag and tossing you one of his t-shirts. You slipped it on as he slipped on some boxers and hung up your robes. You glanced down at the Midtown Tech logo and smiled. The fabric fell down to the middle of your thigh.

“I like seeing you in my clothes.” Peter smiled as he approached you sitting on the edge of the bed and pulled you into a chaste kiss.

“Cafeul, soon all your sweatshirts are gonna go missing.” You said, making him laugh.

Peter sat with his back against the headboard, and motioned you over to him. You crawled across the bed and laid into his side as he wrapped an arm around your waist, keeping you close. He held the remote in his other hand, scrolling through options on the large screen.

“Have you seen this?” Peter motioned towards the screen.

“That’s my favorite movie.” You chuckled, smiling up at him as he immediately pressed start.

Peter absentmindedly played with your hair as the movie went on. As the credits rolled a few hours later you leaned up to face Peter.

“Thank you for today. As birthdays go, I gotta say this may be my best yet.” You spoke genuinely.

“Well it’s not over yet.” He stated after glancing at the clock on the bedside table.

“It’s not?” You smirk, as he pulls you closer.

“I think we were interrupted earlier.” He said slowly, a blush returning to your cheeks as you remembered the events that took place, or almost took place in the bathtub a few hours earlier.

“I think you’re right.” You whispered back, as you climbed onto his lap as his lips intertwined with yours.

You’ve kissed him before, that wasn’t new, but this time something was different. There was a hunger you couldn’t quite describe. His hands began to roam your body, trying to take in every inch of you. A strong arm wrapped around your waist, lifted you, and laid you down onto the bed as Peter now hovered over you.

You gasped at the sudden movement before smiling as Peter lowered his lips to yours once more.

“Y/N,” He said, making you stop and open your eyes, worriedly. Was he ok? Was this too much?

“I’ve never...” He began, nervously.

“That’s ok Peter, we don’t have to-” You tried to reassure him, but he shook his head.

“I want to, God I want to. I want to make you feel good.” He said, his hand traveling up your shirt and resting on your waist.

“Are you sure?” You asked, not wanting to push him into something he wasn’t ready for.

He nodded, muttering a yes as he brought his lips down to you once more, before pulling away.

“Are you?” He asked, making sure this wasn’t one sided.

“Absolutely.” You smiled, taking in the sight of him above you, reaching up to gently move a curl that was falling onto his face, brushing his hair back with your fingers.

And for the first time in your life, you realized why it was called ‘making love’. As much as the phrase made you cringe. As much as you hated when people said that, that was the only way you could think to describe what you and Peter just did. It was sweet but passionate. Peter was gentle yet ruthless in all the right ways. You figured it out together, through the giggles and moans. And as first times go, it was perfect.

For one night you got to be kids. Of course you were adults, just barely. But the two of you had more weight on your shoulders than most adults would ever have. You had responsibilities, that the safety of the city and the world depended on. But for one night, you got to be normal, you got to be kids. For one night you were free, and you cherished it, because neither of you knew how long it would last.

- - - - - 🕷 - - - - -

Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated! 

TAGLIST in Reblog

[aer-in-wanderland]

구미호뎐 | 김범 - Kim Beom ‘Lee Rang Talk’ Instagram LIVE 2020.12.01 

In which Kim Beom addresses fan questions and comments he searched the internet for personally, entirely of his own accord. #Bless ♡♡♡

Time signatures are from this recording uploaded to youtube -> [x]

Because the LIVE was quite long (nearly an hour) I’ve selected out questions and topics that I thought were interesting. For the parts that I omitted, I’ve left time signatures and brief descriptions of what was discussed. If there’s a topic you're curious about that I haven’t included here, feel free to send me an ask. Finally, because the sound quality isn’t the best and he’s sitting back from the camera, there were a few words here and there that I had trouble making out. Sorry in advance!

Introduction & Greeting

Yes, hello! This is actor Kim Beom. And I’m Lee Rang. Before the final episode, before the final week’s broadcast, I wanted to greet you all directly, so I’ve appeared like this dressed as Lee Rang. And...right now you can think of me as someone somewhere in between Kim Beom and Lee Rang. 

To be honest, there’s no decided format. I just went and looked up the things you all were curious about on my own. It could be a bit incoherent, but I hope you’ll enjoy watching. Also, I think there are fans who are worrying how I’ll do a LIVE, since I don’t really know how to, and I haven’t even been on Instagram that long, but actually, in order to do this, I spent the weekend writing the script myself (holding up his cue cards). I wrote the script myself. Actually, yesterday I also had a meeting about how to do an InstaLive, so I hope you’ll enjoy watching. 

[0:01:22~0:02:20] Greeting to international fans in English

[I was impressed by his English here. You can tell he isn’t just reading off his cue cards but actually knows what he’s saying by the way he self-corrects.]

[0:03:00(3:30)~0:05:05] Let Rang eat!

[0:05:10~0:08:04] Re: Color of clothing

Ah! There were a ton of comments about clothing color as well. Uh...I also read a lot of comments where you all were analyzing various things. And, well, a certain amount of it was really accurate...I was really thankful and also fascinated to see that it seemed like you all picked up on some of the things I had put thought into. For example, in the early part of the show when I appeared in red clothes, in a suit, of course there was also the fact that I was making an effort to exude the feeling of a villain, but the other piece that I had been thinking of was that, because there were a ton of scenes in the forest, in the forest on the island, I wanted a color that contrasted with green, so I looked for that sort of complementary color. 

Uh...so, for the case of Forest of the Starved, as with wearing red in the forest in the early episodes, I intentionally wore camel colored clothes and such. Uh...and because it was running, because a lot of the scenes in the Forest of the Starved were of us running, for visual purposes, the director proposed that we wear long clothes, so I wore a long trench coat and such. Also, for scenes that involved a lot of CG, we also, from a technical standpoint, for those bits with hyung...we wore a lot of colors excluding blue and green.   

Also, what else is there? Ah! The white clothes. There weren’t many scenes where I wore white clothing, but....very simply, in scenes where I bled (chuckling) so that the blood was easily visible...I wore a white shirt and such. One of the comments I read that really stuck with me was, ‘learned...learned pervert’ (laughing). That I was a learned person. I also had input here, and my stylist team also had the same thought, so....(very quietly) I was called a ‘learned pervert.’ Yes. 

Also...That’s right. A lot of what you all thought was really spot on. So I was also really fascinated and I thought, ‘Wah~ They even notice those sorts of things, I have to prepare even more diligently in the future,’ and for me, personally...from my standpoint as Kim Beom, I think this was the most costume fittings I’ve ever done. I also did a lot of test filming during the fittings. A JDG hyung who I’m close with and who is a photographer did a lot of test filming for me and really helped me a lot in the process of making Lee Rang. Oh, and also, in the process of doing tests for Lee Rang, perhaps because I took a liking to his image, I changed my profile picture for the first time in 10 years. I also changed my signature papers. It’s now Lee Rang, it’s Lee Rang’s image. I want to hurry up and provide you all with signatures too (laughs). Is this how I’m supposed to do this? I don’t know... (chuckles) 

[0:08:05~0:09:12] Re: Movements & gestures 

Ah, and also about movements and gestures and such...you talked especially a lot about things like me sleeping curled into a ball that got broadcast not too long ago. I saw a picture of me curled up asleep put next to an image of a fox sleeping, like this. Yes, that’s correct. From the very beginning I talked about wanting to give off the image of a fox, of a baby fox [glances to his staff] What? Show them? (chuckles) Like this, (does the gesture) sort of curled up sleeping. Foxes all sleep curled up, it turns out. So, there was an image of me curled up sleeping and, it should show up in the final episode, but there’s an image of me sitting curled into myself as well. When I’m sitting curled into a ball, even down to my toes I’m sort of, like this (does the gesture). Sitting like this was also something I did in order to give the impression of a fox. 

Aside from that, in the action sequences as well, if you look closely you can see that while people swing their fists like this, we made gestures, actions, like raking our claws. I think those sorts of things helped to make the character of Lee Rang, and also the gumiho, the other gumihos, so I was also really pleased while doing it. Yes. And I was even more thankful that the viewers picked up on that. 

[0:09:17~0:11:00] Re: Ad libs

The ad libs...for the ad libs as well, many people are asking just how much is ad libbed, especially since Yeon-ie hyung [Lee Dong Wook] is extremely good at ad libs and does them a lot. If you watch the behind the scenes videos and such, you can see the actors acting opposite him being caught off guard a lot. Hyung’s ad libs looked really cool to me, so I actually tried to emulate him a lot, but for that, it’s not possible with just your average [comedic/dramatic] sense. It’s the sense of someone who’s over a thousand years old, so one ad lib I made with the sense of a 600 year old was...there was one that was broadcast not long ago: “I’m warning you~~.” ‘I’m warning you~’ is an ad lib (laughs). 

The original line was...what was the original line again? (checks his cue cards) Ah, well, it was a line to the effect of, ‘don’t make me laugh’ or something like that, but seeing hyung saying ‘I’m warning you,’ I had the thought that it would be good if I teased him, so I was like, ‘I’m warning you~~’ as an ad lib. Also, in the café scene where we met after I returned from nearly dying, the drink hyung gave me was...there was a multi-colored drink, and for that, originally in the script it just said, ‘It’s tasty right? Have some, it’s tasty,’ or something like that, but hyung saying, ‘Have some, it’s rainbow flavored,’ was also hyung’s ad lib. And well, it didn’t appear in the broadcast, but I called it unicorn flavored. I think it was cut from the broadcast because it would have left people wondering ‘has he tried eating unicorn before?’ 

Those sorts of things...I also really learned a lot, I think, while doing them, such as hyung’s ease and whatnot. I was really jealous and he looked really cool. It came up in our lines too, but hyung always looked like he was shining brightly; he looked really cool.  

 [0:11:00~0:12:31] Re: Hyung Lee Dong Wook

To tell you more about hyung, hyung is...while being extremely sensitive, he’s the type to look after the other party in a brusk manner. For me personally, when I was studying and making Lee Rang’s character, I don’t think it would have been possible without hyung’s help. At first, I also...for the first time in a while I wore the clothes of another character and stood before the camera, and until that point I really had a lot of concerns and worries, but hyung gave me advice and really cheered me on a lot from the standpoint of an actor who has walked this path a little farther than me. So he was really a great help, and a source of strength, and whenever we were on set and there was something I didn’t know, I’d go ask hyung. Also, when I was agonizing over something, hyung would come over to me first and ask me if he could help, he was like that. 

And aside from that, the director, and the writer...Actually, Lee Rang’s tails have never appeared on screen, but in any case, Lee Rang should also have nine tails, right? There are nine. I have nine tails, but one of those was given to me by hyung. And one by the director, and one by the writer, and many others besides. Because they gave me tails, I was able to become a gumiho with nine tails, that’s the feeling I get. Yes.

[0:13:06~0:14:03] Re: Lee Rang’s Necklace

Ah! That’s right. There were also people who were curious about this necklace, wondering if this...if this wasn’t symbolic of something. In fact, in the beginning I had also thought that far. I thought of using it to express Lee Rang’s signature or something, so at first when he transformed I had gotten rid of it. Like when I appeared with glasses on (leans forward to show off the necklace better) this. It’s this necklace, but for my first transformation when I appeared with glasses, or...at those times I purposefully removed the necklace, but later on when I, when I transformed into hyung, if I wasn’t wearing it....if I was wearing it! I worried that you all would notice. You’re all extremely observant. Like gumihos. So in the end I decided to just leave this as fashion. 

[Note: This doesn’t fully make sense to me in terms of wearing it or not, but I double-checked and I translated everything exactly as he said it.]

[0:14:02~0:14:53] Re: Transformations

And since we’re on the subject of transformations, I’m always being found out and saying, ‘Ah that damn dress code...’ and such, but, everyone, I’m not being found out. Lee Rang isn’t so foolish and incompetent. Conversely, in order to mess with people more, he’s intentionally giving them a hint. So he’s being like... ‘Even if I do this will they not notice? Will they not notice?’ by intentionally giving them a hint with his shoes. And so, for Ji Ah, and for Sajang, that was me intentionally giving them a hint, and in fact wanting them to realize. While being like ‘if you figure this out then I’ll have to mess with you even more,’ I’d then mess with them more. And so, conversely, when I transformed into hyung to fool Sajang, I fooled him perfectly didn’t I? I’m not such an incompetent person as that. 

[0:14:55~0:16:05] Re: Romance 

There are many people who are extremely curious about Lee Rang’s romance as well, but actually, romance [for Rang] didn’t appear in our Tale of the Nine Tailed. Because his love for hyung is so great. And his love for Yoo Ri was also somewhat different from the love between a man and a woman. It was a familial love, and also a love that came from wanting to fill the void, it was that sort of love. Uh....I saw someone say something like this. Mm...when Yeon-ie hyung falls in love it’s to this extent, but if Rang-ie, who is a rule-breaker, who ignores all the rules, were to fall in love, the earth would probably have been destroyed. Or at the very least, Korea would have been destroyed. haha Someone said that, but I think that probably would have been the case. If he had directed his love not at his hyung but at a woman, because Rang-ie isn’t afraid of his hyung, or the afterlife, or even hell, I feel like he would have had that sort of a [world-ending] romance. 

[0:16:48~0:17:37] Re: Lee Rang’s fortune (wealth)

[0:17:38~0:18:19] [Reading and responding briefly to live comments]

[0:18:32~0:19:24] Q: Would Lee Rang have dreamed of being either a full fox or a full human?

Ah...this was a very sad question. [Rang is] a half-human, half-supernatural, but would he have dreamed of being a full gumiho, would he have dreamed of being a full human? There was talk to that effect. Uh...I think Rang-ie wouldn’t have wanted to be either. On the supernatural side as well, because he’s a half-supernatural...I don’t imagine he’d have been welcomed, and among humans, because he has supernatural blood, we also saw him being mistreated a lot. But then, amongst all of that, my one and only source of support was my hyung. And I think that’s why [Rang] was so obsessed with his hyung. I think he probably wouldn’t have wanted to belong to either side. Because he’s that sort of free spirit. Yes, that’s what I think. 

[0:19:30~0:19:58] Re: Lee Rang’s Favorite Food

Q: If Lee Rang had a favorite food like Lee Yeon’s mint chocolate, what would it be?

His favorite food is, you all may already know this, but it’s alcohol. Rang was always together with alcohol, and he was a character who goes well with alcohol. Somehow...it was like how lonely people reach for alcohol. I think it would have been that sort of feeling. It always kept him company, in place of his hyung (chuckles). That sort of, that sort of...his favorite food is alcohol, yes. 

[0:20:02~0:20:50] Re: Favorite fan comments/Not a baby 

[0:21:00~0:21:46] Q: Spicy fox [i.e. fox with an attitude/a bite] vs. baby fox?

[0:21:47~0:0:22:39] Q: The most dangerous gumiho or the most endangered gumiho?

[0:22:45~0:23:34] Q: Favorite Lee Rang look/style?

[0:23:41~0:25:10] Q: Good vs Evil?

Ah, and, there was also a question about what percent of good versus evil exists inside of me, but...I also really thought hard about it when I received this question. Rang-ie was a very kind child when he was young, who couldn’t even pick a flower...he was a kind child who couldn’t even kill a bug, but then, that sort of...should I call it societal evil? Due to some misunderstandings and...painful times, he gradually begins to ‘live devoting himself to evil,’ there’s that expression, in Korea. I think all of that evil would have seeped into him. So while at first he would have been 80-90% good, even so...mm~ at 51 to 49%, wouldn’t 51% of him be good? That slight bit that he tries not to lose. Because evil, because the side of evil kept pulling at me, whether that be Imoogi, or Sajang, unavoidably evil would have pulled at me, but...I get the sense that Rang-ie, to the very end, wouldn’t have given up the good in him...Nn? [Staff catches his eye] Yes, so that’s why it’s (???)* hehehe Oh? (???)* Sorry. Hahaha Ah, sorry. I just startled myself as well. [Pointing at his staff] Your face has turned red!

[Note: The expression he uses for ‘to the end’ here could either be used literally or figuratively. So obviously he accidentally gave a huge spoiler, but if he - or rather, his staff - hadn’t reacted so much it might have just been glossed over. Also, I think he’s using terms associated with a video game here which is why I’m having trouble parsing the blanks.]

[0:25:12~0:26:56] Kim Beom reminisces about his time with TotNT

[0:27:05~0:27:43] Re: Stickers

Ah! There was also talk about the stickers. Hahaha Uh...for the stickers as well, of course, in the script it was simply expressed as, ‘Rang, who is asleep covered in stickers,’ but actually, what stickers got stuck where was something that I decided myself. So I tried sticking a lightning bolt to my forehead, and, I’m not sure if it was visible in the broadcast, but the earring (the star on his ear) was a reference to the character So Yi Jeong that I played back in the day [Note: this is a reference to his character in Boys Over Flowers (2009)]. Well, I’m the type to overthink things like that, so hehe. I think a lot. 

[0:27:45~0:28:56] Re: Soo Oh

[0:29:12~0:30:00] Q: Are you more of an older or younger brother type?

For that question...whether that question was a question for Kim Beom or for Lee Rang, I actually wasn’t sure, but someone asked, ‘Are you someone who is suited to being an older brother or someone who is suited to being a younger brother?’ Uh....to answer as Rang, Rang is of course more suited to being a younger brother, it fits his natural tendencies. That Kim Beom guy,* I mean, Kim Beom is... (chuckling under his breath) ‘that Kim Beom guy’ what am I saying? Kim Beom is...more suited to being an older brother, he has that aptitude, that inclination I think. 

[*Note: When said this I burst out laughing. The literal expression is, ‘that chingu (friend) called Kim Beom,’ and it’s just not a way that you would ever refer to yourself. He said he was somewhere in between Lee Rang and Kim Beom, and it really feels like that here haha]

[0:30:12~0:31:10] Re: Nicknames

And, well....If Lee Rang, if there is a nickname that Rang-ie likes or a nickname that remained with him [what would that be]? A whole lot of people also wrote to me with that question. The overseas fans have also been calling me ‘baby fox’ (said in English), and that was really amusing. Uh...also, well, ‘baby fox’ (in Korean), and things like ***** [Note: he censored himself here so I’m not actually sure what he said other than that it’s rude haha], I really had a lot of fun seeing them. Like, these people who, if I met them in real life, would say, ‘Spare me!’ and run away were treating me like a baby... (nodding to himself). It was funny (chuckles). 

[Reading the chat] People keep commenting ‘baby fox’ (in English) hahaha

And so I also, later on....Somehow, at first I thought, ‘Huh?’, but then later on it was something that really made me feel good...(nodding) It was funny. (chuckles)

[0:33:30~0:33:57] Re: Mountain God Lee Rang?

Q: If Lee Rang ever became a mountain god, what sort of world would he have created?

I probably would have made a wonderland for hyung, right? For hyung’s sake alone. So that hyung could enjoy himself, I would have tried making this and that....to make hyung smile once. I feel like that’s what I would have done, and because of that, because [Rang is] that sort of simple guy, he probably wouldn’t have become a mountain god, right? I’m good being a mountain god’s younger brother...

[0:33:58~0:34:54] Re: Rang’s name

Also, Ah~ things related to Rang’s name, too. To my knowledge, the name ‘Rang’ was bestowed by his hyung. So originally he was a half-human, half-supernatural who didn’t even have a name, who was also abandoned by his family. He had been lonely like that, so it was probably hyung who gave it to him. The name ‘Rang’ means ‘shining.’ Most likely, at that time, wouldn’t he have really cried a whole lot? From happiness. Seeing as he continued using the name Rang, seeing as he continued using it for 600 years. If he had disliked it, he probably would have changed it, so he really took a liking to it. It was probably a happy time where he thought, ‘Now I too have a name~’ That’s right. 

[0:35:11~0:36:39] Re: Spin-off

Ah! And also, there was the spin-off to talk about, right? In another world, in a slightly wider world, uh...there was a spin-off telling my story, and to be honest it was an extremely new attempt, and I also, at first, I approached it as an answer and a gift in response to all of the love that so many people had sent. Uh...thanks to that, I think it was nice that I was able to show you Lee Rang from another point of view, and I actually worried about it a great deal. 

Uh...Rather than our existing team, another spin-off team did the filming for us, and so I worried a lot. Because it wasn’t our team. But, they very diligently, and well...shot it for us. And for me, because many people supported us, thankfully, compared to what I had been worried about, I think it worked out well. Actually, when I was really at the end of my rope from worrying so much, I called hyung [Lee Dong Wook] from set, from the spin-off set, to say that I was worried, and I also met up with him in person, and the director [Kang Shin Ho], I told him I was worried. In the off chance that the fans of the Tale of the Nine Tailed main series might hate it, I was really very worried. But hyung really comforted me a lot, and told me it was cool, so that made me feel really good. 

[0:36:41~0:37:28] Re: Yoo Ri (Kim Yong Ji)

Also...I have to talk about Yoo Ri too, don’t I? Our Yoo Ri. Our Yoo Ri...from the very first time I met her she seemed like Yoo Ri. She was really really like a gumiho, like a fox. Like someone of mixed race. In reality, too, we met up recently and were eating together when she told me this. People from Russia are actually sending her DMs, she said. Asking if she’s really a mixed-blood Russian. Hearing that was so funny that I remember we both burst out laughing. But to that extent Yoo Ri [Kim Yong Ji] is that much like Yoo Ri, even when you see her in real life. And also, because she became such a perfect Yoo Ri when we were working, from the very beginning she was very reliable to film with, and I think I was also really able to immerse myself while filming. 

[0:37:29~0:38:01] Re: Shin Joo (Hwang Hee)

And also, Shin Joo hyung, too. Actually...I didn’t have that many scenes in common with Shin Joo, but we became so close on set that later on - ah! Actually it’ll probably appear in tomorrow’s episode. Me and hyung [Hwang Hee] (catches the staff’s eye, raises his eyebrows, and then censors himself).....have a scene together, and you’ll probably get to see a very different Lee Rang, a very cheerful, uh...Lee Rang will appear, so I hope you enjoy watching it. 

[0:38:31~0:40:00] Re: CG

Ah, and also, we can’t not talk about the CG. Because, in a sense, it was one of the biggest aspects of our genre, from the first time we started filming we did a whole lot of tests. I think, in any case, we worried that those who see a lot of (computer graphics? - sorry, I’m actually unsure of this word) would feel that something was off, so we tried once using actual contact lenses, and also tried using actual (physical) tails. And for things like the Imoogi special effects makeup, it was a combination of makeup and CG that came to be through the help of truly a lot of people. My eye, and also hyung’s tails, and our abilities, Imoogi’s skin. I’d like to take the opportunity here to thank everyone involved once again. For giving me such a cool eye. I also, while watching the broadcast, was like, ‘Wah!’ 

Hm... also, I think my only having one eye that changed was probably the director’s idea. Because I’m a half-blood, in any case, his opinion was that it would be nice if only one eye changed, so I was able to have a really cool eye (leans close to the screen with a wild Lee Rang smile and then sits back chucking). It would be nice if it changed, but I’m unable to change my eye by myself (chuckles).

[0:40:05~0:42:00] Re: Stunts/action sequences

And our stunt team, our action team as well. We can’t not talk about them. I’m reminded of the first time, the times we went to action school to practice martial arts. From when we first began action practice, I would coordinate the timing with hyung [Lee Dong Wook] and we would go and practice together. So from the beginning, until we had created the action that would suit our characters, we went several several times for several hours at a time to practice. And then on set, they created things far beyond what we had practiced for us, so our action team really worked very hard as well, and the agwi and such that you saw...for many of those, our staff played all those roles for us. They really had it extremely hard, uh...yes. The (???) director, the (???)* director, and many stunt and action hyungs, all worked very hard. Hyung [Lee Dong Wook] also talked about this during our press conference, but they really worked very hard. On hot days, in the Forest of the Starved, they nearly....and they gave a very impassioned performance, so I was also able to immerse myself so the filming went well.

Mm....To be honest, I’m the type who really likes action, but the gumiho action this time, uh... (nods to himself). There were many stunts that appeared that were at a level beyond what I could have imagined, so while I enjoyed doing them, there were aspects that were difficult too, but when I saw how I appeared in the broadcast, I was very satisfied, and...because [the fans] really liked our sibling action scenes, it made me feel good. 

[*Note: Sorry, because he’s talking half under his breath here I’m actually having trouble making out which directors he’s referring to.]

[0:42:05~0:43:38] Re: Crying scenes

You asked me if having so many crying scenes wasn’t taxing, but...I know, right? More than I thought, more than the Rang that I had originally pictured, [he] was actually quite a crybaby. There were many more crying scenes than I had thought there would be, and depending on how you look at it, it feels like maybe I cried nearly as much as Ji Ah....I get the sense that because [Rang] is a guy who carries a lot of pain and sadness, he had a lot of tears. And also, because I had to cry in a way that was Rang-like, at first I was like, ‘How should I cry? In what manner do I have to shed tears?’ but once the camera started filming...I felt like they were Rang’s own emotions, so. Yes. 

If I think of hyung [Lee Dong Wook], actually, even now I get really choked up. So, when I, myself, Kim Beom, had a photo shoot recently, the topic of hyung came up in the course of the interview and I froze for a second because I nearly started crying, that also happened...

And then on set when I gave my final thoughts upon wrapping filming, I still somehow had many of Rang’s emotions left over, so I...seeing me crying, hyung said, ‘Are you going through puberty?’ hahaha, I have memory of him saying things like that to make me laugh as well. 

[Note: Kim Beom is referring to his photoshoot and interview with Elle Korea. I translated a good bit of it here.]

[0:43:40~0:45:06] Q: A character you’d like to try transforming into?

Also...I, well, hyung also transformed once, but for me because it’s one of my core talents, and because gumihos are the sort of character to do that, I received the question of whether there isn’t a character I wouldn’t like to try transforming into other than the ones that appeared in the drama. Honestly, if I was Lee Rang, I probably would have transformed into Ji Ah and tried to break her [and hyung] apart. Mm....I would have really hated transforming into Ji Ah but, uh...in order to separate her from hyung, and also, out of jealousy, due to his wish that [his hyung] wouldn’t fall in love with her again, out of love for his brother, he would have transformed into Ji Ah...isn’t that originally what gumihos are like?

However, because in that case then Ji Ah [Jo Bo Ah] will have to act that out again, probably (chuckles)...next time, if there’s ever an opportunity, I’ll transform into Ji Ah and... (starts making finger hearts without finishing his sentence) yes. I would like to show that to you all. 

[Reading the live chat] Right? People are asking me if I’m a genius. If it was Lee Rang, Lee Rang should have to transformed into Ji Ah, right? I also honestly just surprised myself by thinking of it just now. 

[0:45:14~0:46:04 ] Thoughts before the final episode

[0:46:24~0:47:28] Re: Charades with Imoogi (Lee Tae Ri)

[0:47:30~0:48:15] Re: Director Kang Shin Hyo

[0:49:26~0:50:21] Q: Memorable Lines & Scenes

Also...about the lines. Memorable lines or memorable scenes, you’re asking a lot about these sorts of things, but I truly haven’t forgotten a single scene I was in; I remember all of them. Because the script, and the characters, and the scenarios...and the scenes were all made so so well. 

Actually...well, at the beginning, when you see me fighting, bickering, with hyung, and I say ‘Didn’t you miss me?’ this line, and also...that sort of line: ‘I’m dying of anticipation.’ There were these sorts of lines as well. Uh...also, my lines that I say to Yoo Ri too. Like...‘Why would you shed tears because of me? Don’t make your life into a melodrama.’ There were these sorts of lines as well. 

[0:50:24~0:51:52] Re: Azaleas

[0:51:54~0:52:26] Re: Gumiho teleportation 

[0:52:27~0:54:00] Re: Rang’s throwing axes

[0:54:32~0:55:11] Re: Dokdo shrimp

[0:55:13~0:55:59] Q: Memorable filming location?

[0:56:00~0:5?:??] Re: Last episodes

[0:56:45~0:57:10] Q: Do you watch the original broadcast?

[0:57:12~End] Closing remarks

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Will Biden bust trusts?

Despite the massive triumphs of the world's largest corporations and most rapacious billionaires during the covid crisis, neoliberalism is in ideological retreat: more people are more critical of the idea that "free markets" can solve big problems than at any time in my life.

The Democratic nomination race was a fight between the neoliberal wing of the party and the Democratic Socialists, with the candidates representing a spectrum between those two sides (and the odd outlier on either side).

Supposedly, the party grandees brokered peace between the two main factions, but the left is rightfully suspicious about whether Biden - and Republicans-who-sit-as-Dems like Joe Manchin - will deliver anything beyond symbolic gestures.

One bright spot: Bernie Sanders is finally chairing the Senate Budget Committee, giving him enormous power over muscular covid relief packages, Medicare expansion, and rolling back Trump and Bush tax-cuts on the super-rich.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/12/us/politics/bernie-sanders-budget-committee.html

This is where Sanders' long experience in the Senate, and his virtuoso work using its procedures to advance his position, will serve him well. As we saw with McConnell, the ability to wield procedure is a powerful asset in getting stuff done.

Sanders knows all the dirty tricks that the Senate majority leaders used to sink his efforts, *and* he knows all the countermeasures that work against those tricks. He will be a force to be reckoned with.

Beyond key appointments, a key test for the Biden administration will be its posture on antitrust, the area of economic doctrine that has been most transformed by the debate over capitalism.

40 years ago, Reaganites managed to convert antitrust from a *political* doctrine to an *economic* one: rather than asking whether a monopoly would pervert good policy for workers, citizens, and institutions, antitrust narrowed to asking whether monopolies were raising prices.

Antitrust enforcers stopped listening to workers who'd been laid off or had their wages cut. They stopped listening to customers who got worse products and less choice. They stopped listening to entrepreneurs who were frozen out of the market by predatory monopolists.

The only people they'd hear from were duelling economists with impenetrable equations that supposedly represented the likelihood that a monopolist was hiking prices. Strangely, these models almost never showed that rising prices could be attributed to monopolies.

The GOP antitrust wreckers called themselves the "Chicago School" for the University of Chicago economics department that served as their cult headquarters. The Dems had "post-Chicago School" antitrust, who were effectively indistinguishable from the Chicago School.

When Obama ran for office in 2007, he promised real action on antitrust. Taking office in the midst of the Great Financial Crisis, Obama had the unprecedented opportunity to make good on those promises.

That's not what he did.

A new report from the American Economic Liberties Project, "The Courage to Learn: A Retrospective on Antitrust and Competition Policy During the Obama Administration and a Framework for a New, Structuralist Approach," is comprehensive on the Obama admin's failures.

https://www.economicliberties.us/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Courage-to-Learn-Final.pdf

The Obama admin oversaw massive concentration in healthcare, transport, defense contracting, entertainment, media, tech, agribusiness, and other key US industries. At the time, officials boasted of their record.

Today, as public opinion (and lawmaker priorities) shift to trustbusting, these same officials are the ones decrying the bipartisan failures to grapple with monopolies. Many are on deck to serve in the Biden admin, alongside Big Tech lobbyists pushed to run antitrust (!).

Obama's antitrust enforcement record is terrible - he didn't just squander the opportunity of the Great Financial Crisis; his enforcers actually made things worse, leaving midterm to work for white-shoe firms that worked to secure mergers.

These enforcers saw themselves as "dealmakers," not cops. They allowed 90,297 mergers during Obama's terms, taking action on only 313 of them, accounting for 3% of the $11.67 *trillion* in merger activity 2008-16.

Those 3% of deals were almost all waved through, with some modest conditions binding the new conglomerates not to abuse their market power. These deals could be rescinded at the stroke of a pen by future administrations - which is exactly what the Trump admin did.

Obama's antitrust enforcers voluntarily announced that they would not use the most powerful tools their founding statutes afforded them. They closed investigations into Monsanto and Google.

Obama's monopolies were terrible for consumers: medical costs for insured families rose by $10,000 on their watch; airline prices skyrocketed, and the quality of both plummeted (literally, in the case of Boeing's 737 Max) on Obama's watch.

But Obama's antitrust enforcers did do *some* aggressive enforcement...against workers. His administration set records in punishing trade associations of independent contractors, from electricians to building superintendants to church organists.

This was a prelude to the signature labor policy of the Obama years: the misclassification of an ever-expanding pool of workers as "independent contractors" whose organizing activity could be punished under antitrust law as "price-fixing."

The other Obama signature policy - the ACA - encouraged health care monopoly mergers on the theory that this would provide coordinated care. Today, these monopolists provide price-gouging and a "medical assembly line" that cares only for shareholders' financial health.

Today's trustbusting revival was incited by Big Tech's massive concentration and naked greed .Obama's enforcers waved through every single Big Tech acquisition for eight years, without a single significant enforcement action.

If you want to know how Amazon could pile on billions in profits during an economy-slaughtering pandemic, that's how.

The Project's report closes with a long and comprehensive list of recommendations for the Biden admin (pp137-169).

But as the report reminds us, "personnel is policy." Who you hire matters as much as what you ask them to do.

The Biden admin must *not* be let off the hook if it hires back the same Obama apparatchiks who committed antitrust malfeasance for eight long years - especially not the ones who left for cushy jobs in law/lobbying representing monopolists.

And we need to pour on the pressure to make Rohit Chopra the next Chairman of the FTC. Chopra is fearless and tough, who has advocated that repeat corporate offenders face breakups, dismissal of top execs, and bonus clawbacks.

https://mattstoller.substack.com/p/a-simple-thing-biden-can-do-to-reset

Chopra's (good) notorious for saying "FTC orders are not suggestions." Companies that treat them as such get the corporate death penalty.

Like Sanders, Chopra has shown that he knows how to work the system.

When he was at the Consumer Finance Protection Board, he used public pressure to get predatory student lenders to knuckle under, a tactic that alienated cozy swamp-monsters who were used to doing everything behind closed doors.

The Obama admin came to power in an unprecedented financial crisis and pissed away the opportunity to restructure the US economy so it worked for the people, not the elites.

Biden is inheriting a *much* worse crisis. We can't let him be "Obama's third term" - not if that means repeating the ghastly errors of his former boss.

[apples-r-rubbish]

John (11 x reader) Part 1

Summary: The doctor was being tracked. So he decided to become John to blend into a small town. It would only be 6 months he said. Word count: 3.4k Warnings: violence mention and knives and angst  AN: Hi! First fic ever uploaded to tumblr so I’m excited. Hopefully this is good and isn’t too long. Part 2 and 3 should be up soon. Hope you like it!! Also I wrote the reader as female in this so sorry, I’m going to try to be more inclusive in later fics :,)

It had been 2 years, 3 months and 16 days since you’d all arrived in the 1920s, in a quaint little village in the south. You had also been told it would be a maximum of 6 months you would spend here, and boy, how the Doctor was wrong. He was being hunted, by a species that wanted to harvest timelord energy so they could learn to regenerate. So he’d picked a random village and a random time period, given you all jobs, and rewritten his own biology in an attempt to stay safe.

“I’m going undercover as a human, I’m rewriting my genetic code to stay safe, everything non-human about me will be held in this watch, and hidden somewhere linked to me, there will be another fake one hidden with me or on the TARDIS. I won’t recognise it, I’ll barely acknowledge it, or just enough to the point where fake me won’t think there’s anything off about it.” He explained slotting the watch into a rather aggressive looking head contraption, and throwing a device at Amy “I’m becoming John Smith, a history teacher at a local grammar school, Amy and Rory, your job is to track the thing, it has a unique energy signature with that device. Rory you work in the local hospital and Amy you work in a shop. (Y/N), your job is to keep an eye out for me, make sure John doesn’t do anything ridiculous, or fall in love or in a deep hole he can’t get out of. You’re the secretary at the grammar school,”

You cringed at memories as you sat in bed. Thinking over the last 2 years and everything that had happened since, it was all a distant memory now.

“The TARDIS will be in an emergency state if you need her. I won’t know you or remember you. It’s to keep you safe and for your own good. It’ll be six months, at maximum, nothing to worry about, Ponds, (L/N),” he smiled cautiously as he put the device on his head. The thing connected as he screamed, and shook, the agony in face unbearable. 

Eventually, you decided you had to get up so you didn’t lose your job, you put on a dress, strapped a cautionary knife to your leg for protection along with the sonic screwdriver so you knew it wouldn’t fall into the wrong hands or  just in case the thing decided to attack today. You walked to the school. The village was fairly spread out but with limited people, less than 1000 people, everyone knew at least something about everyone apart from the few of you that had been welcomed two years prior. God how you missed Uber, and being able to go on regular runs without judgement. 

When you arrived you stored your coat and bag in a storage room, making polite conversation with your coworkers in your office. John wandered in and smiled at you. “Hello, Miss (L/N), how are you doing today?” He was more posh in this version of himself, he sounded southern and as if he had been educated at the grammar school years prior. 

“I’m very well, sir, just a little tired today. How about yourself?” You had also taken this time as an opportunity to sound more from the time period, to blend in and look more authentic compared to your back story that was full of holes. 

“Good good, sounds like you need more sleep-” He paused upon realising the implications of his words “I- I didn’t mean anything like that, I meant perhaps-” He was like this a lot, he stumbled over himself. Not as confident as the doctor in far too many areas. “Nevermind, Mr Smith, I knew what you meant. What did you come in here for?” you lips pursed together, when he had his memories back you were going to slap him so painfully hard he’d regenerate. He may have had the doctor’s face however, he was not him. Maybe this version of the doctor had taken a liking to you, more than the actual Doctor ever would. You had to stick close to him so you allowed it, although it was painful at points seeing a man you had fallen in love with, finally acknowledge your existence as someone else.

“I needed to check the staff file and I just wanted to chat with you.” So you talked for a while. 

The school day went by relatively smoothly apart from a student vomiting in the hallway, and two students almost getting into a fight, everything seemed standard, as the previous 837 days had. Nothing new. Nothing out of the ordinary.

The village was small and were grateful for that, all the shops were local and the furthest house was a 45 minute walk away. Ultimately, you had decided to visit Amy and Rory as you did most nights as they understood the pain you were going through, trapped away from your time period without your family, and closest friend, whilst also being tracked by an alien. 

“-and then he looked at me and said I needed to get more sleep,” You said between sips of wine and painful laughs

“I can’t believe he struggles with social interaction more as an actual human rather than a timelord,” Amy laughed, this was the tradition, when Rory was working the nightshift, one of you would visit the other, and you’d laugh and drink together.

“At least you get to see him consistently,” Amy added, “We barely do. Rory sees him maybe once every few weeks down at the pub, and I see him when he comes into the shop or at the hall. You at least consistently know he’s safe and happy,”

“Yeah but it’s not exactly him is it. It’s like you see a picture of someone before you know them, like you can acknowledge it’s them but they’re just missing the odd piece to them, like the smile isn’t quite wide enough or their hair is parted differently. It’s a version of him, without him. Without the timelordy, alieny bits,” 

“Maybe so, but it’s something, and we don’t have a lot else right now,”

“God, I can’t wait to wear pants and jeans when we get back to our time,” You said standing and embracing Amy in a warm hug “I need to go home and get some sleep, long day tomorrow, my turn to check. Thanks for having me, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

When you had arrived home, that's when you saw him, a boy from the school outside your door, mindlessly staring through one of your windows.

“Edward Gray, dear? Are you alright? What are you doing here?” You asked panic rising quietly through you

Seemingly snapping out of his trance “Huh? Nothing Miss, I must’ve got a bit lost and confused, that’s all,” He said rubbing his temples, the expression he gave you didn’t reach his eyes, as if he was struggling to believe the words himself. 

“You might want to get home, make sure your mother knows you're safe. We don’t want her up worrying all night now do we? Run along dear,” You said as you unlocked your house and he turned and ran. 

You settled into bed for the night, pulling out a notebook and writing down bits from your previous adventures you could remember, it wasn’t for Amy and Rory you would've been doubting the validity of your stories and doubting that the alien had even existed at all, and wasn’t just a random man from your work who paid attention to you, smiled at your jokes, and whose eyes were full of mystery.

More dreams, more memories, more days. You woke up with a jump, your alarm surprising you. More morning rituals. Breakfast, check. Shower and brushed teeth, check. Dressed, check. Knife, check. Sonic, check. It was a friday so it was your turn to check the TARDIS. It was abandoned in a shed in one of the in one of the many fields surrounding the village that had long been forgotten. She wheezed slightly when you entered, a half asleep acknowledgment of someone else’s company.

“Hello dear, I’ve missed you too,” You said in response, a tinge of sadness in your voice, another sleep wheeze escaped from the console. You replayed the message the doctor had given you. He animatedly explained all the points, once again, like clockwork: village, 20s, hunted, six months, keep watch, pears, stay safe, teaching, secretary, shop, six months. Nothing had changed, you kept quietly wishing for the audio to alter, or the video to change, it never did. It was still the same video, and your alien bestfriend promised 6 months and nothing more.

Somehow, you had managed to arrive early to work. The majority of your colleagues had not yet arrived. In moments like this you had begun reading in classrooms, specifically, John’s. There was something comforting about it, perhaps it was the doctor’s energy. Quiet times like this helped usually, sometimes they made the situation worse, the silence was sometimes unbearable as thoughts of your future life rumbled around your head. You had positioned yourself near a window and pulled out a copy of the Great Gatsby. Whilst you were engrossed in your book, the door opened silently, John slipping in without you noticing

“Miss (L/N)? What are you doing here?” He whispered, his eyes staring deep into your soul, at times like this, he was almost the doctor. You jumped, the sudden noise surprising you

“Ah, sorry, John, dear. I was just reading, I had a bit of time before the day began,” You started 

“It’s alright, no need to apologize. What are you reading?’

“Mr Fitzgerald’s new book, I have heard nothing but good things,” 

“Ah, I prefer the classics, great expectations and such.” Even as a human he was still so much of the doctor. 

You stood up suddenly “Anyway, I need to go. I have my duties to attend to.”

John rambled “Stay! If you want to- I mean- if you would like you can stay here and read, I don’t mind and I’m sure the others wouldn’t mind, I’ll convince them it was my idea. even though it was anyway,”

You considered it for a brief moment, you shook your head, “I can’t, I have particularly busy day,”

“At least let me walk you home tonight then, if you’re busy throughout the day. I enjoy your company,” he said with a wink and then he caught himself and looked shocked that he had actually just done that.

“Fine. I finish at 5. But you must know the neighbours will talk,” You said in attempt to deter him

“Oh, let them, this small town loves gossip,” John smiled in a very doctorish manner. You nodded slightly. A small smile graced your lips, a tinge of sadness in your eyes, you prayed he wouldn't notice as you turned to leave the room. You didn’t see him silently stick his hand out in an attempt to comfort you, over feelings he would have no concept of. John Smith and his small smiles and sweet talk would be the death of you. The Almost Doctor. So close yet, so far out of reach.

You had the trouble of organising staff schedules that week and planning and writing assemblies for other teachers, you didn’t mind though it kept you busy. 

“(Y/N), did you hear Edward Gray hasn’t shown up today,” One of your colleagues Mrs. Price had said, she was elderly woman, her hair greying slightly, her glasses rested on a chain that was always around your neck

“That’s peculiar, he was outside my house last night,” You began as you explained to the other woman. She sat in an awkward silence afterwards.

“According to his mother, he did get home ok, he just came in this morning. Must’ve just decided he wanted to wander the woods for a break,” She said with a nervous laugh and you followed suit before going back to clicking away at your typewriter. 

The day eventually ended at 5pm as you said a brief weekly farewell to the other office staff members before heading to the front of the building. John Smith was stood at the front he gave you a wide small and small wave that you returned

“Mr Smith,” You said with a smile as you approached him

“Miss (L/N).”

On the way home, you chatted about anything and everything, you trying to fix the holes in your double life story, and the chameleon arch filling in the gaps in his. You were simply two half strangers sharing half truths with one another. If the Doctor were actually here he’d laugh. Occasionally, neighbours would nod their heads towards you in acknowledgment, none of them stopping to talk. One neighbor seemed off, you believed his name was Mr Roscoe and he was an older man from the village. He made intense eye contact with you both before bumping into the doctor aggressively, squaring up to him.

“Timelord, your days will soon be up. We will have your secrets soon enough,” Roscoe hissed. Adrenaline pumped through your veins, you pulled the knife from your leg and pointed it at Mr Roscoe’s throat. 

“Good, God Miss (L/N), where did you- what’s going on? Why do you have a knife?” John stammered the chameleon arch kicking into overdrive. 

“Shut up,” You snapped, he opened his mouth to speak, he decided against it, then closed it again. You turned your attention back to the older gentleman, “Leave him be. He is not what you are after. This is your final warning, approach any of us again and this knife is going right in one of your vital organs. Clear? Or will I have to do it as a warning?” You snarled anger rising with each word edging the knife close to the man as you waved it for emphasis.

“Crystal,” The man replied, void of tone. Before turning and walking away sending a sharp glare in your direction as he wandered off

“Do you mind if we visit your house instead I have a phone call to make?” You asked the knife away, smiling and acting like nothing had occurred, slipping your arm back around John’s. John simply stammered in agreement, still not entirely grasping the intensity of the situation.

John’s house was rather large for him, he’d claimed it was far too big for one person and that he ought to let it out, but it was close to his job and he could afford it and that he also preferred his own company. 

You waited until he left his kitchen to call Amy,

“Hello, this is Amelia Williams,” She chimed

“Red, wolf, now,” You said breathlessly, it was code, you had invented, between the three of you, if people were around that couldn’t know about the predicaments you faced, such as John you would use it. Red was danger, wolf was alien.  She breathed a curse into the phone

“You’re safe, I presume, stay that way and with him, time to locate the pin and the needle,” more code, you simply said a quiet yet nervous ‘yes’ into the phone. The pin being the watch, the needle being a decoy.

“What about your job? 2 years, wolf tracking was up to you,” You hissed

“I’m sorry. I think the battery died long ago, we have no idea how to charge it even with the TARDIS. Plus, he never gave us an explanation of how to use it,” You mumbled a brief apology for hissing and hung up, after she had made sure you were fine, in the overly complex code, you former companions shared. 

“What was that about?” John asked reentering the kitchen and breaking you from your thoughts holding some glasses, a bottle and packet of cigarettes. “Sorry, just a small code with a code with a friend, letting her know I’m safe and with a friend incase she gets worried or tries to visit,” You explained quickly

He smiled at that, maybe he had bought it, maybe not, “You’re so intelligent.” He breathed half to himself, half to you “Come on time for a smoke and a drink to calm us down after that, erm, experience,” 

You sat next to eachother on one of the few steps that led to his garden. “So why do you carry a knife?” Was the first question out of his mouth after he’d poured drinks

“An old friend, he had some issues, told me to protect myself, I just felt I needed to make sure I was safe,” You replied simply, “And I hate guns, so a knife had to do,”

“In the 2 years I have known you, (Y/N), I’ve learnt very little about you, other than today.” He sighed 

“You don’t need to know a lot, there’s not a lot I can tell you really, a fairly ordinary life,” 

“Do you smoke?” He said offering you the box, with a smile you accepted one and lit it, 

“Not often, we’ll have to share this one, I can’t handle full ones this late.” You passed it back to him “my friend wouldn’t approve so I try to not,” 

“Well you have to make your own decisions,”

“He wouldn’t approve of you offering, I mean” You corrected “Also maybe not me accepting,” 

“I need to tell you something,” He began, “I have these dreams- and they’re about the future and they involve you and that quiet couple from the village. We travel to other worlds and I’m from another planet and we try to save people.  And it matches some of what Mr Roscoe had said. How crazy is that?”

Shit. You hadn’t considered dreams “Well ultimately dreams are the subconscious filling the space so I would imagine it is perfectly normal thing to dream. And as for Mr Roscoe, he’s a confused old man, I doubt he even realised what he said, John,” You laughed nervously, the chameleon arch had already started fixing the damage

“You can stay overnight, if you’d like I have a guest bedroom set up and some spare toiletries, just so you’re not worried about getting home. Mr Roscoe put the fear of God in us earlier and I wouldn’t like that to happen again, especially if you’re walking home” Even now, when he wasn’t himself, he was still unbelievably kind.

“Ok, then I’ll stay,” You nodded, you did not want another Edward Gray situation

“So this friend of yours. Would he approve of you staying the night? Does he approve of much? It certainly doesn’t seem it,”

“Perhaps he would. Maybe with you, maybe not, it's difficult to say. He doesn’t approve of much and yet many things. Kindness and eccentricity are two things he absolutely loves. He’s a good man, a kind man,” You tried to explain, taking the cig back “He’s a pacifist. And when he smiles the stars seem to align. We travel together. Or rather we used to before I settled here. I’m waiting for him to come back.”

“Oh are you and him-”

“Uh, no, absolutely not. I did see him like that, he did not see me that way. He has no reason to, he carries the stars with him and the world on his shoulders. He’s got enough to worry about without me,” you stated, a small tear slipping from your eyes, John wiped it away quickly , taking the cigarette back and finishing it

“I mean, perhaps he could, view you like that. If I were him and I know I could never be, I wouldn’t hesitate. You’re wonderful, kind and beautiful, intelligent and astonishingly brave,” John smiled “and if he can’t see that, I’m sure someone else will.” 

The silence after his words was comfortable. You didn’t quite expect it. The ferocious love in his voice, the warmth and kindness. It seemed so disjointed from the normal, nervous and awkward John. You rested your head against him, a form of acceptance to his words. He wrapped his long since abandoned jacket around you, along with his arm, trying to shield you from the cold. The drinks had been finished a while,  and cigarettes long since burned to ash. You stayed that way for a while, at least in that hidden moment you could pretend it was him and that things weren’t about to turn terrible. At least you had now and the steps in his garden long after dark.

PART 2

[harleysarchive]

Beautifully Amazing

Fandom: Avengers Warning: None really, Natasha maybe out of character  Pairing: Tony Stark x Fem!reader Summary: Tony is jealous of your date that he set you up with, because he is in love with you. Inspired by my own imagine here X

(Y/N/N) = your nickname

It feels nice to be back writing again, I will try my best to upload frequently! :D

Jealousy. It wasn’t a feeling that Tony was used to, but this was clearly it. He didn’t want to admit to it, because then he had to admit to his other feeling that came with it. Love. Yep. He was in love, but before he knew it the one person that he loved were in the arms of someone else, and it was all his fault.

Dammit he was the one that set the two of you up in the first place, and now he has to watch you laugh at the other person's jokes and not his, and watch you smile that gorgeous smile of yours because of someone else. Someone that was not Tony. 

It hurt him, but he didn’t want to show it, because then you would worry something was wrong. It was but he couldn’t tell you. 

“You look like someone pissed in your drink.” a voice said beside him. Natasha went over to check on him because she had seen the look on his face all evening and had to do something about it. 

“It’s nothing, I’m fine.”

“You sure, because it looks like you’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous, I don’t get jealous.”

“Not even when someone you like is with someone else.”

Tony looked at the red-head assassin with chock and an expression that said, how did you know?

“I’m a spy, it’s my job to know, but I didn’t have to be one in this case. It reeks all over you that you are jealous of (Y/N)’s date.”

Tony didn’t say anything and just took a big sip of his drink. 

“What are you going to do about it?” she asked again.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? Why?”

“Because I don’t want to ruin-...”

“Blah, blah, blah, yeah I’ve heard that one a million times before, but it always ends up happening anyway.” Natasha said.

“How do you mean?”

“Because now you will distance yourself from her because you feel hurt and with that you are hurting her too. Because she’s your friend and wants to be around you, but I would say more than friends, but what do I know…”

Tony turned his full attention to Natasha and dragged her away from the party, just out of everyone’s ears. 

“What do you know, Nat?”

“Nothing.”

Tony gave her a look that said I don’t buy it. “Please just tell me.”

“But-...”

“Please, it’s killing me to see her happy with someone else. If I hadn’t locked away my suits for the evening I would’ve put it on and shot the guy in the chest to get him away from her, and you know the worst part?”

Natasha didn’t want to say anything because she wanted Tony to confess himself.

“It’s that I set them up on the date, to convince myself that I didn’t love her.”

“But you do.”

Tony let out a huge sigh, which was all that she needed as confirmation from him, she didn’t want to toture the man, not today at least and not on this subject. To love someone was harsh enough, but to give the person away to someone else is a cruel faith. 

“Let me help you.” she said.

“Why? How?”

“Trust me on this one.” she said mysteriously and left Tony alone with his thought that spun in a million different directions with no possible answer. What could she mean?

Natasha walked as fast as she could without looking conspicuous to the other guests at the party. She walked up to Clint, who was sitting on the barstool waiting for his order.

“He just confessed.” She said in a low voice.

“Who?” Clint said, confused.

“Tony, he just confessed that he loved (Y/N). We have to do something about it, because (Y/N) would freak out if she knew that her crush liked her back.”

“But how? What should we do?”

“I’m going to go talk to her and tell her everything and you will tell Tony to go out on the terrace when I give you the sign.”

Clint nodded and Natasha went over to you and your date to have a little chat. When you saw that she made her way over you waved happily and made room for her on the couch. 

“Hey Nat!” you said. 

“Hey, (Y/N/N) can I talk to you in private, it’s really important.”

“Sure.” you said and left your drink and date to follow her to a private room on the other side of the party.

“So, what’s up? What’s going on?” you said.

“Tony loves you.” She blurted out from nowhere. You had to take a moment to process what she just had said.

“What?” was all that you could manage to say, but in shock, excitement and terror as to how she found out about this. 

“Tony loves you, didn’t you listen to me?”

“Yeah, but I may be having a hard time accepting the statement. H-how-...?”

“He just told me, like five minutes ago, so we need you to get rid of your date right now and follow me so you can confess you love to him.”

Your head spunn, it almost felt like you were going to faint. Tony Stark, the man that you had had a huge crush on since you started work with the Avengers, liked you back?? No, he loved you back. It was just too much to take in for one night, but you were over the moon excited to hear it, but terrified to tell him how you felt. 

“Wha-wha-...?”

“He will be on the terrace shortly, but first get rid of the date.” Nat said and that’s what you did. You went up to your date and told them the truth, at least they deserved it. Of course they were shocked about it and a little sad, so they left in a hurry but told you that they wanted you to be happy, so go after him. After the elevator door closed you took a deep breath and went out on the balcony. 

The night air felt cool against your bare arms so you started to rub your hand up and down to get some warmth. But no one else was out there but you, a small voice in your head told you that maybe Nat set you up or had tricked you.

No she wouldn’t do that, you thought to yourself. Just as you were about to go inside again you saw Tony stare out over the New York skyline. He hadn’t noticed you come out, and he looked miserable. You went over to him slowly, not to scare him.

“It’s pretty out here.”

But your voice did startle him, because he thought he was alone, which was the sole purpose he went out in the first place. But the sound of your voice was welcoming. 

“It is, isn’t it? But not as pretty as you this evening.” he said and turned his attention to you, and he really meant it. The dress that you wore looked absolutely lovely on you, it fitted you like a dream and your hair looked amazing. Your eyes looked at him so deeply that he wanted to die.

“Thank you.” you said shyly. “You look great as well.”

“I’ve been told that tonight, but not by you so it means a lot.” 

The silence fell over the two of you, you just stood there and looked at each other, both of you had so much you wanted to say but you didn’t because the silence made it hard to break it. 

“Tony…”

“Please let me start.”

You nodded and let him collect his thoughts, which were all over the place in a frenzy. 

“I’ve been a fool. A fool for not admitting to myself how I truly feel. A fool for trying to push you away to someone else when clearly that is not what I wanted. I thought it was, but I was wrong. I wanted what was best for you, and I thought it was with someone else. But I can’t take it, I can’t see you together with someone else when in reality I am the one who wants to be with you. Desperately.”

“Tony…”

“I love you, (Y/N). I have since day one apparently, I just haven't been honest with myself and I get if you don’t feel the same or think that I’m a complete asshole…”

You shut him up with a long awaited kiss. He was shocked at first but melted into it when his brain realized what was happening. The kiss was fast, but with so much love, so much suppressed feelings that finally came up to the surface.

“So that means…”

“Yes, Tony. I love you too, and I have loved you since the day I walked into the Avengers office two years ago.”

The two of you just smiled and hugged each other, butterflies going nuts in your stomachs. 

“I guess this is the perfect time to ask you out on a date then.” he said with his signature smile. You just laughed and kissed him again. This would be the start of something beautifully amazing. 

[nachtelang]

hii i have no motivation to do my homework so here are some more sentrywire headcanons because i have no impulse control... with lots of inspiration from aster’s headcanons here because i LOVE these sm!!

these two are really not good at asking before taking. they’ll take each others’ spare parts and tools without mentioning it first, leaving the other to wonder if they simply misplaced a part or a tool they need for a gadget they’re working on. cypher will sheepishly say he was definitely, absolutely going to return whatever it was he borrowed ( he wasn’t ), and killjoy gets a little fussy when cypher takes her things without asking, but she lets him get away with it anyways because she loves him. cypher always knows when killjoy takes something from him, and he’ll poke at her with his usual “little engineer, i know you took something from me again”, but how could he ever be upset with her when his girlfriend is just so cute?

it took cypher a long time to get used to pda. killjoy is absolutely a pda kind of person, and if she knew it wouldn’t make cypher uncomfortable she would absolutely intertwine their fingers or sit in his lap whenever the two of them are in the same room. but she respects his boundaries and knows that he’s still working through getting over his past, and reassured him that it was alright if he didn’t want to partake in any pda right away. cypher does try to do a but of pda, though, because the smile that forms on killjoy’s lips when she feels him lace their fingers together or when he wraps an arm around her hip to pull her closer to him is priceless to cypher.

killjoy steals clothes from cypher’s closet all the time and cypher knows but lets her get away with it because he thinks she’s just so cute. he’s lost count of the times he’s walked into killjoy’s lab and seen her in one of his oversized coats, or her wearing his hat instead of her signature beanie. she lets cypher wear her beanie too, and if he is wearing it no one is allowed to touch it. he protects it with his life, swatting away anyone that might try to poke at the beanie on his head. it’s important to killjoy, so it’s important to him, too. he’s tried wearing her iconic yellow jacket, but it was less a jacket and more a crop top on cypher. killjoy thinks about how small her jacket was on cypher and bursts out laughing every time.

killjoy is very into social media. cypher... not so much. she tries to teach him about it, and cypher does his best to learn because he knows that it means a lot to killjoy. she made an account for the two of them to share so that cypher could share any photos he may have saved on his cameras that he thought looked nice. cypher will upload any photos he captures on his cameras that he thinks look good enough for social media, which is mostly just nature / landscape stuff from missions on bind or haven, and the occasional picture of killjoy that he’s deemed to be his favorite but honestly every photo he has of her is his favorite. killjoy just posts cute photos of cypher doing literally anything ( with cypher’s consent, of course ), and captions them with really cheesy stuff about how much she loves him and how handsome he looks when he’s really invested in his work. it flusters cypher to no end but she continues to do it anyways.

while they might not display a lot of pda, they definitely don’t hold back when it comes to flirting and teasing. the other agents have lost count of how many times they’ve had to listen to cypher and killjoy flirt with each other over their comms— cypher will tease killjoy about how he’s got a nice view of her from his camera, killjoy will use the cheesiest pickup lines possible on cypher and he’ll still get embarrassed no matter how cheesy they are, and it just goes on and on until someone usually one of the controllers has to beg them to focus on the mission at hand though that usually doesn’t stop them from continuing to flirt.

these two are the masters of bottling up their feelings and emotions around the other agents. they both have a lot of emotional baggage that they would prefer no one else knew about, but after they dated for at least a few months, they became more comfortable with sharing the darker parts of their pasts with one another. killjoy was the first one to be open about her trauma, and how it affected her, and it was the first time cypher really saw her cry. it was the first time he really ever felt like he wanted to hold her, keep her safe and never let her go, tell her that it would all be alright. cypher was much more solemn when he began to open up, and killjoy would sit by him and stroke his hand gently while he spoke, resting her head on his shoulder, softly whispering to him that she was there, and that he wasn’t alone.

[acedesigns]

High Expectations [FF7: Rufus/Reader]

A/N: May continue with this, idk.

Dedicated to @the-temple-pythoness​ for wanting more Rufus/Reader fanfic, ‘cause same.

Word Count: 2474

You honestly had no idea what the hell the last secretary was doing. There was no organization. No rhyme or reason as to where anything was. Honestly, you thought the secretary was trying to get fired. It was more like the secretary was trying to get their boss fired as per the order of their boss’s boss.

That was unacceptable in your book. Especially now that the boss’s boss was dead and now the boss was the boss. You shook your head knowing that only made you sound like some insane rambler. But it made sense…To you. Maybe your boss, too. He fired the last secretary the moment he was promoted via inheritance.

“Why are there sticky notes everywhere? I don’t even know if they’re relevant anymore,” you grumbled and ran a hand through your hair. You held a sticky note up to the light to try and determine if the ink had faded at all.

“How’s it goin’?”

You jumped and dropped the pale pink sticky note and glanced over. There was a Turk with spikey red hair. Sitting up straight, you cleared your throat. “I’m doing well, thank you. How may I help you?”

He dismissed you with a wave of his hand. “Just checkin’ on the boss’s new secretary. Heard you came in early. Last one sucked and was always late.”

“Yes, well.” Your eyes jumped around on every bit of torn paper on the desk. “I can see that. Did they know how to operate a computer?”

“She knew how to work her cellphone,” he chuckled. He grabbed a chair and dragged it over to your desk. “Other than that, she wrote down messages on something she would tear out of a notebook and leave it on her desk.”

“My god,” you groaned and pinched the bridge of your nose. Just by glancing at the pieces of paper, they were so incoherent with the sloppiest of penmanship that you couldn’t understand a single thing she was trying to say.

“But hey, at least the bar is set low.”

“No! It’s not set low!” you protested with a pout. “I have to exceed the bar I set for myself. Which is high, by the way.”

The man chuckled. “You’re a fiery one, aren’t you?”

“More like dealing with constant anxiety,” you muttered under your breath. “Anyways, I’m [Y/N]. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Reno,” the man replied. He watched with amusement as you started to sort the scraps bit of paper. There was a pile of what you were sure were actually scribbles and no real words, a pile where there were just a couple of words and then scribbles, and a pile of what looked like could be an actual message. “Watcha plannin’ on doing with that?”

“I’ll be scanning and uploading them onto the computer, based on my best estimate as to what they actually say, and about what order they were written,” you hummed in reply. Once they were sorted, you stood and hurriedly made your way over to printer/fax/scanner/time machine.

“You could just toss them,” Reno suggested.

You stiffened at the idea. “No, there could be something important!”

“If there was something important, she wouldn’t have written it down.”

“Still,” you sighed and started the long process of scanning every tiny bit of paper. Of course, you couldn’t just put multiple sheets through the scanner to make it automatic. You had to put it on the scanning glass, one-by-one.

“Excuse me?” a voice sounded from the office’s entrance. There was a soft knock on the door frame. You looked over and saw a woman holding a vase filled with white lilies, roses, daisies, and mums. “I have a delivery for [Y/N].”

“Yes, thank you!” You hurriedly took the vase from the woman and dismissed her, having had already tipped her online.

“What are those fore?”

“His father just died,” you muttered and scrutinized the bouquet for any imperfections, there weren’t any. “I was told he didn’t really care for his father, but I figured it’d still be nice to give him something.” You walked towards where his desk was. It was nearly empty, allowing you to place it with ease.

“Have you even met him yet?” Reno quirked an eyebrow up.

“No.” You returned to your previous position at the scanner and glanced at your watch. You had approximately thirty minutes before you were required to be at work. You were going to be paid by the year, so getting there early didn’t hurt anything.

“Well!” Reno clapped his hands on his thighs before standing up. “I need to get goin’. If you need anything, just holler. I’m sure we’ll see each other a lot.”

“Thank you.” You nodded your head but didn’t redirect your attention away from the pieces of paper you were scanning. Once the green light was done going back and forth nearly a dozen times and the files were sent to your computer, you gathered the pieces of paper to file later. There were other things you needed to prioritize.

Your fingers sped across the keyboard while you searched for any appointments that the president could have. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing for the past few years. You scrunched your nose up in confusion. Even the part-time hourly workers had more meetings than that.

“Did she seriously not schedule a single thing?” you whispered in astonishment at how far she went to suck at her job. “Well, nothing to back up, then.” You wanted to cry from the feeling that you were doing something wrong, but there was nothing you could do.

The elevator dinged. You glanced at your watch. It was about time for the president to show up. Ten minutes early, you noted. Staring at the elevator, you held your breath as the doors opened. A man in a white suit exited the elevator. Quickly, you stood from your seat and bowed slightly as he entered the office.

“Good morning, President Shinra.”

The man paused in his steps and looked over at you. There was a firm frown set on his face. You felt some sweat build up on the back of your neck from his intense stare.

“It’s President Rufus,” he corrected sternly. “I will not be mistaken for my father.”

“My apologies, President Rufus.” You were crying on the inside. Absolutely crying.

“I need to you schedule me a flight to Junon. I need Heidegger to be with me. We’ll most likely be traveling from there. We will need a substantial amount of security personnel without alarming the public as to why their streets are flooded with military.”

“Yes, sir!” you responded quickly and turned towards your computer to start orchestrating the trip.

Rufus nodded before continuing to his chair. He stopped in front of his desk and looked at the flowers. He glanced over his shoulder towards you before taking his seat and taking care of business he didn’t finish the night prior.

“A military parade!” you suddenly exclaimed with a wide grin. Then, you paused and covered your mouth with a slightly fearful look towards Rufus. “Sorry.”

“If the idea is worthless, then apologize. What is your idea?”

“Well,” you paused and swallowed your nerves. “One way to move a large number of soldiers would be to hold a parade. It’d be a way to gather support for Shinra, for you to clearly establish yourself as president, and demonstrate the extent of Shinra’s power to those opposed.”

“And would you be able to organize such a thing in less than a week?” Rufus’s steely gaze scrutinized your form for any imperfections.

Your hands formed into tight fists. “Yes.”

---

It was day three into planning. The first night, you gathered changes of clothes from your home and temporarily moved into Shinra Tower. You were in the office before Rufus arrived and well past when he left.

There was only the point of getting a chartered flight to Junon that met Heidegger’s preferences. Nothing was good enough for that man. To make matters worse, most air carriers were under their annual maintenance. Why they were all scheduled for the same time was beyond you.

Opening your e-mail, you prayed there was something saying that you got a flight. There it was. The Highwind was available. But just barely. It’d be going into maintenance almost immediately after its arrival to Junon. With a rush, it’d take three days to be completed. If that wasn’t good enough for Heidegger, you would actually murder that man yourself.

There was another e-mail with a file containing and a newly composed song for Rufus’s parade. You opened it and turned up your speakers. Music, that wasn’t half-bad given it was written in only a day, played.

“What are you listening to?”

You jumped and looked up at the president with wide eyes. Quickly, you paused the music. “I-I,” you stammered and took a deep breath to calm your nerves. “I commissioned a composure to create this for your parade. The infantrymen will do a small performance to it during the Welcoming March.”

“I see, and what else have you planned?” There was no indication as to how Rufus was feeling. You couldn’t tell if he was pleased, angry, or anything.

“Well, we have banners created with your signature created to be draped down the front of each building on the route. There will be two on each building, actually. Heidegger will be at the front leading a squadron of Soldiers. Then, you’ll follow in a car. If there’s a situation, the car can create a shield and get you out of there quickly. Of course, with the security measures in place, that shouldn’t happen. But you can never be too careful.”

“And what do the banners say?”

“Uh,” you hesitated. “New Age. President of Shinra, Rufus.”

A slight smirk appeared on Rufus’s face. “Very good.” He turned to begin to head back to his desk. “Oh, and we will be needing to cross the ocean to Costa del Sol after I give my speech.”

You froze. “Y-Yes, sir!” You wanted to cry knowing that getting an airship to cross the ocean that day would be impossible. It would have to be a traditional boat or submarine. A submarine was too risky and too cramped.

You stood up with your legs shaking ever so slightly. Slowly, you walked over to the president’s desk. “Excuse me, sir.” He looked up at you and motioned for you to continue. “All of Shinra's aircrafts will be undergoing maintenance on the day of your speech. Would a ship suffice?”

“That’ll be fine.”

You let out a breath you were holding and gave a weak smile. “Thank you, sir.”

“Relax, [Y/N],” Rufus spoke once you turned to head back to your desk. “You’re exceeding expectations.”

You felt your cheeks head up at the praise. “Th-Thank you, sir!”

--

The alarms were blaring on the ship. You looked around in fear. Red lights were flashing. Though you were informed on what to do, your nerves were screaming and you were forgetting. You just needed to get somewhere safe, but where was safe?

“Take a deep breath,” you whispered to yourself to try and stop yourself from having a panic attack.

You looked over to Rufus and Heidegger. Heidegger was running around screaming at his men. You could have sworn he had just punched one of them. Rufus was looking around at the windows and his hand went towards where his shotgun was.

“Sir!” You ran over to Rufus. “We need to get you out of here. There’s a safe room set up for you.”

He nodded towards you as you exited the control room. Soldiers were running down the hall with their guns close to their chests. Some were yelling about a man in a black cape and some sort of monster below deck.

“Multiple casualties!” one yelled as he ran past you.

Your heart hammered. As you led the president down the hall. Your eyes kept clanking behind your soldier to make sure he was still there. In a couple of minutes, you paused in front of the door and swiped your security card.

“Here, sir,” you stated and stepped aside so he could enter the room.

“After you,” Rufus stated.

You scrunched your nose up in confusion. “But sir, your safety--.”

“You will not be a hindrance to my safety by being there.”

Nodding a brief thanks, you entered the room and started to make sure everything was secure. There was an emergency generator, a first-aid kit, and supplies to last a few days. The Turks spared no expense in ensuring the president’s safety and comfort.

The door shut and locked behind the president and he went towards the couch. He moved his shotgun and placed it on the floor next to him. He watched you stare at the door for anyone trying to intrude.

“Relax, [Y/N]. Nothing will happen to us so long as we’re in here.”

“But--.” “The Turks never fail their missions. Their mission is to protect me.”

“With all due respect, sir. Their mission was to protect the late president.”

Rufus chuckled slightly. “It was just the opposite. They were to not be near my father at the time of his assassination. Why do you think Sephiroth was in that building that night? Or how do you think I knew to show up at that tower shortly after my father was killed?”

“I…” you paused in shock. “You hired Sephiroth to kill him?” Rufus didn’t answer, but the smirk on his face said enough. You staggered back to the wall and leaned on it, fearful that your legs would give out from under you. You knew Shinra wasn’t the most ethical corporation, but there wasn’t a single ethical one under capitalism. And you needed the money. But this…Was beyond what you thought you were signing up for.

“Didn’t you know that my father and I didn’t get along?”

“Mmm,” you hummed and nodded your head. “I knew that.”

“Then, why did you give me flowers?”

You looked up at him. Looking back down to the floor, you slid down against the wall until you were sitting. “I know you didn’t like your father. But that didn’t mean you were still upset by it. You might not miss the person, but you might miss the role he could have filled. That you’d never have a good father. They were more for the role you lost, not the person.”

Rufus hummed while thinking. He stood up from the couch and made his way towards you. You watched with slight curiosity, some fear that he was going to kill you. He turned and slid against the wall next to you until you were sitting side-by-side.

“You are by far the best secretary I’ve ever had.”

[bluerosewritings]

Caught in Your Throat 2 | Malleus x Reader

[Originally uploaded to ‘The Hearts Mirror’ on Wattpad]

—

Once you'd confirmed you had Hanahaki Disease, everything just went downhill. Suddenly, it seemed like everywhere you went, Malleus was there with a smile and a short wave that would cause the pain in your chest to tighten and your throat to burn. At first, you thought you could deal with it. The downhill was slow - sure, the pain flared up whenever you saw Malleus, but that was it, right?

Wrong. The pain didn't just flare up, it grew. Larger and larger every day. When you coughed, more and more thorns came out. The small pricks nicked the insides of your cheeks and your lips. Deuce and Ace began to worry you were getting physically bullied. Cater looked at you with knowing eyes but didn't say anything.

As time went on, the coughing fits became more and more frequent; you'd often have to excuse yourself from your friends or ask to leave class and go running to a teacher's bathroom (Crowley had given you special permission, saying he couldn't allow any girl to have to use the boy's bathroom - which you were grateful for now more than ever) to lean over a toilet and pray everything got into the bowl. If even the tiniest bit of blood got on the seat, you spat and rubbed at it desperately, almost once cracking it.

You begun distancing yourself from Malleus. It broke you but it was the only way to stop the growth of whatever had planted itself inside of you. Ironically enough, the larger the pain, the more your feelings for him grew. Or maybe it was the other way around? You tried not to think about it. You hated having to explain away your tear-stained face.

The separation was a bad one. It seemed whenever you tried to avoid him, one of the other members of Diasomnia would pop up out of nowhere and start talking to you about him. Lilia dropping down from the ceiling to share a memory of Malleus as an infant; Silver waking up from a nap to talk about Malleus' latest gargoyle find; Sebek deciding to cut to the chase and demanding to know why you were avoiding his young master. You disguised your coughs as laughs.

One night you'd had enough. You had gotten to the point where you were throwing up thorns instead of coughing them out. On your return from the Ramshackle bathroom, you'd looked out of one of the common room windows and seen Malleus looking forlorn towards your room. Something started burning inside of you; anger, regret, fear, you didn't know what. You just knew you'd had enough. He didn't love you, so why was he doing this? Why was he plaguing you with his existence? Why didn't he realise the pain you were in?

"Go away!" You yelled, "I don't want you anywhere near me!"

You weren't sure when you got outside. It didn't really matter much to you right now - being so close to Malleus and watching his face switch from relief to surprise and confusion to hurt was causing the thing inside of your chest to tighten.

"(y/n)...?" Malleus tried to come closer. "What's wrong? What did I-"

"Just go! Get away from my dorm!" You screamed. "Don't come back!"

"(y/n)-"

"LEAVE!"

Not even waiting for a response, you bolted it back to Ramshackle and locked the door behind you.

—

"You wanted to see me, headmaster?" Your voice came out croaky. Whether it was from the thorns or last night's screaming and crying, you couldn't tell.

"Ah, (y/n)! Thank you for joining us!" Us? "I'd like to introduce you to a guest who'll be staying with you for the next week - meet Miss Neyn Ratte."

You froze. Turning your head, you saw a girl who looked around your age with jet black hair, dark blue eyes porcelain skin and the signature pointy ears of a fae. She gave a small smile.

Lady Ratte. The girl Malleus loved.

—

"Sorry to spring all this on you - I thought the headmaster would've told you sooner!" Neyn laughed, placing down her bags. "Thanks for not being too upset. You're just as kind as Malleus said!"

"Mmm." You didn't know what to say.

"I'm so glad I get to room with another girl - oh, do you want to have a sleepover? It would certainly calm my nerves! Father despairs of me sometimes for how much of a night owl I am; though, from the sounds of it, you are too, aren't you? You and Malleus talk well into the night, that's what I've heard!"

Malleus, Malleus. Most nobles called him Lord Draconia or Lord Malleus at least. She didn't need to use honourifics.

"Sorry," you shook your head, "not tonight. I'm... not feeling so good."

It wasn't a lie. You could feel the thorns clawing their way up your throat.

"Oh dear, do you have a fever? Should I take you to the infirmary?" Neyn held a hand to your forehead before you could move back. "You don't feel hot... I can make you soup?"

You shook your head. "N-No. I just need to sleep. Night."

You took off to your bedroom without letting her reply. After locking the door, you fell forward onto your bed.

You wanted to hate her, you really did, it was just... she was so nice. You were expecting someone with the usual stay-back, confident fae aura but Neyn was the complete opposite. She was kind, talkative, accepting... Just the kind of person Malleus would like. No wonder he did.

Picking up your phone off the side, you opened your messages to Cater. He'd forwarded the number of the surgeon who'd gotten rid of his sister's Hanahaki plant a few weeks back. Maybe... maybe you should...?

You put your phone down. Another night.

—

Neyn was almost always at your side during her stay. During her stay - which apparently was to look around NRC for her younger brother - she borrowed your uniform and linked arms with you going to and from class. She was constantly asking you questions, too - your favourite class, favourite food, favourite colour, home life, your type, everything.

You barely got a minute's rest from her. The only time she wasn't was either when you escaped to the toilet... or when she was with Malleus.

You swore the two of them were looking at you right now. Pushing your lunch around your plate, you tried not to turn around and find the eyes you felt peering at your back. You laughed with Deuce at whatever Ace said.

At least it was her last day. You'd overheard her on the phone last night to Malleus - something about tonight. Maybe a confession?

It didn't matter anymore. You'd come to terms that Malleus didn't love you. The number for the doctor was saved in your phone and you were planning to call them when Neyn was gone. No point in putting yourself through pain any further.

"I need to go to the toilet." You say, thorns crawling their way up your throat.

—

One of the ghosts floated into the Ramshackle common room, a parcel in his hands. Neyn trailed off her story as you took it from him, a small smile on her lips.

"What's that?" She asked.

The parcel was small. Inside of it was a bunch of green tissue paper, which you pushed aside until you saw what was inside. Your heart stopped.

A bracelet. A bracelet made of black thorns, with small crystal roses that were your favourite colour dotted around on it. Your hands were shaking as you held it. The fake pricks burned against your skin.

"Oh, that's so pretty!" Neyn exclaimed, unaware of your shift in mood. "Try it on, try it on! Look - there's a note attached, too! 'To (y/n)'-"

"Is this a joke?"

"...sorry?" Neyn asked, putting down the note.

"Is this a joke?" You glared at her. "I was ready to let him go - and now... this! How long have you known?"

"Known... what?"

You dropped the bracelet back into the box. "You know what I mean! Have you told him? I don't want him to think he has to be with me! He loves you - not me! Isn't that enough? Do you have to taunt me like this?"

Tears were welling up in your eyes and your chest was getting tight. You got up and turned away but Neyn grabbed your wrist.

"(y/n), what are you talking about?" She asked, "do you mean Malleus? He doesn't love me, he loves-"

"Let go! I don't want to hear it!" You pulled your wrist away. The pain in your chest was getting unbearable. "I don't care who it is! Because- because it isn't-"

You couldn't hold it in anymore. The coughing fit came, instantly, so painful it brought you to your knees. Unable to catch them in time, long lengths of thorns hit the floor. Neyn stepped back, eyes wide.

By the time the coughing fit was over, Neyn was gone along with the parcel. You got up, tears streaming down your face. You were glad Grim had gone to Heartslabyul with Ace - having the ghosts fret over you was bad enough.

Pushing past the spectres, you locked yourself in your room again. The tears wouldn't stop falling and you didn't try to hide them.

So Neyn knew. Even if she hadn't before, she definitely knew now. Where did she go? To Malleus? Why did she take the bracelet?

You shook your head. Picking up your phone, you scrolled down to the doctor's number. No point in delaying it any further.

Just as the phone began to ring, someone knocked. Not at the dorm door but at your window.

Against your better judgement, you drew back your curtains. Barely staying within the window frame was Malleus.

Before you can close the curtains, the window evaporated into tiny green lights that danced around your room. Not letting you step away either, Malleus lent down and wrapped his arms around you, tight, one hand round your waist and one on the back of your head, stroking your hair.

"I'm so sorry, (y/n)." He whispered.

You weren't able to answer. Your mind was too preoccupied trying to fight back both a coughing fit and tears. Unfortunately, tears were managing to find a way down your face.

Once he noticed, the dark fae lifted you up gently and pulled you outside the room. The hold was similar to the time he'd lifted you up to touch his horns. The memory made the tears come out faster - you desperately tried to wipe them away, hiccuping which allowed some of the thorns to escape from your lips.

The position let you have a good view of Malleus' face. Even though your vision was blurry from the tears, you could see the regret and pain on his face. A gloved hand reached out to you and stroked your cheek. At first you stiffened against his touch, then allowed yourself to lean your head into his hand. The  need to cry slowly disappeared.

"I'm sorry." You told him once the tears stopped.

Malleus' face creased in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I... I'm making you feel guilty," you said, "but please don't. I-I should've known better than to fall for you - known you would've wanted someone like Neyn instead. So, please, don't worry about me. C-Cater gave me a doctor's number, so I can deal with it, so..."

"(y/n)." Malleus lowered you down to his eye level. "I don't love Neyn."

"W-Whoever it is," you continued, "I don't want to get in the way of your happiness, Tsunotaro. You're important to me, and I couldn't forgive myself if I-"

"(y/n)," Malleus cut you off, "the person I love is you."

"...Huh?" Was all you could say.

"I'm sorry I made you think otherwise." Malleus said. "I'm sorry I made you go through so much pain because of it. But you're the one I love, (y/n), truly."

"But, Neyn... why did she..."

"Lilia said it would be good to get another female opinion on how to confess," Malleus explained, "so I asked Neyn, and she said it would be better if she knew you better, so we arranged for her to visit NRC. But if I had known how much pain it would cause you, I swear I never would have allowed it."

"Tsunotaro, you didn't know," you shook your head, "it's not your fault."

"It is. I should have noticed sooner, as soon as I noticed your coughing. I'm so-"

You placed your hand over his mouth. Giving him a small smile, you said, "I told you not to feel guilty, didn't I?"

"I suppose you did."

The dark fae placed you gently on the ground. He grabbed your hands and squeezed them tightly, face surprisingly serious.

"I mean it, however. I do not love Neyn, or another person you are unaware of. (y/n), you are the one I love, truly."

Tears threatened to spill from your eyes again. You weren't sure what for - because of the calm, or happiness, or relief - but it didn't matter. They didn't stop your smile.

"I love you too, Tsunotaro."

Malleus smiled, relief evident on his face. In one swift movement, his hand was on the back of your head and you closed your eyes as your lips met his. The kiss tasted bittersweet, of months upon months of hidden feelings and anxiety mixed with relief and emotions finally being set free. It only lasted a second or two, but you came away dizzy.

You opened your mouth to say something when pain flared up in your chest. If Malleus hadn't been able to catch you in time you would have fallen over. Clutching onto his jacket, the two of you slid to the floor. You began coughing, worse than any of the times before, making your head light. Malleus was saying something as he almost cradled you in his arms. You couldn't make it out over the ringing in your ears.

Something was coming up your throat. It was just the thorns, there was something else, something smoother and something softer. Then out it all came, all in a rush - blood-speckled thorns, brown roots and a single large blood-red rose last. Once they were out, you hacked a couple more times before the feeling of needing to subsided. Blood trickled down your cut lips but that was the last thing on your mind.

Malleus waved his hand across your face, all injuries from the thorns gone in an instant. "(y/n)?"

You placed a hand to your chest. "Does it hurt there as well? (y/n)?"

It was gone. The need to cough, all the pain from the past few months, gone in an instant. Malleus... Malleus really did love you.

You turned to him and tackled him into a hug. The force caused the two of you to fall backwards, you laying on top of his chest. Laughter bubbled out of you. At first Malleus was confused but your joy was infectious and soon he was hugging you just as tightly, laughing along.

Malleus moved you up to his face level, smiling at you with eyes full of affection. You lowered your head down and caught his lips, this kiss the sweetest thing you ever tasted and you were going to make it last as long as you could.