#if you smoke every day and rely on it for Anxiety

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

ppl who do mushrooms and weed bc they are "natural" (many things are Natural and doesn't mean they are good for you) will literally say shit like actually is has been PROVEN mushrooms are much less dangerous than alcohol!!!! alcohol is the DEVIL!!!!

gurl a glass of wine will never do to you what mushrooms can do to you. i've had a friend almost die bc she took "very safe" mushrooms that were legal and guaranteed by a certified shop owner that they were okay. she took a small, recommended amount. and she had a trip so bad she couldn't drink water bc she couldn't remember how and then she couldn't sober up, or eat chocolate which usually helps, etc. and she needed to be supervised bc she almost died. and other ppl in the group weren't doing so great either.

[ilyhaitanii]

masked fool ft. marius von hagen

sfw. while out on an nxx mission, marius finds himself reminecsing about the childhood you two spent together. jealousy bubbles in his stomach. as annoying as it sounds, he can be quite cute like this

a/n: im v much a vyn girl, but marius brainrot is so real right now. he's all i can think about these past few days

there’s something so beautiful about how imperfect marius is. a young man born into the spotlight, forced to fit the mold of his older brother when it was far too big for him. a young man of many talents and extraordinary beauty. he has it all: talent, money, fame. what more could he ask for?

to an outsider, marius von hagen has his entire life laid out for him. he has his father’s money to fall back on, he has his good looks and charm to help him out of tricky situations. he quite literally has it all. however, growing up the way marius did, you tend to be very lonely.

he seeks out any sort of relationship, good or bad. whether it was the kids in primary school who used to push him around for pocket money, or now the executives who prod and pick at him for every little mishap. he still cherishes any and all connections he makes.

the one he cherishes the most is your bond. childhood friends— marius’ only friend. sure, he was popular. he was giann’s younger brother, everybody knew his family name. but he was never truly friends with anyone.

he felt like an outsider no matter where he went because he knew people only wanted him for one thing: his family’s influence. but you? you didn’t care about any of that. you always sought him out during lunch when he’d sit up on that oak tree by the west-end of the school courtyard during lunch, you always made sure to actually listen to him. you were always the one person he knew he could rely on.

marius gazes at you from across the hall, swirling the sparkly champagne in his glass. he’s staring at your exposed back, but he’s also silently glaring at the man you’re talking to him. the rosy color on your cheeks makes his blood boil. the way you’re laughing (who is he kidding you’re fucking giggling) and blushing. there’s this indescribable feeling of annoyance, yet so much anxiety is bubbling in his stomach all at once. it makes marius feel ill.

the sound of his code name buzzing in his ear brings him back down to earth. however, he can’t help but take another look at you. he knows this is all for the mission— you have to flirt with this guy for information, but he can’t help but want to wrap his arms around you and tell the guy to fuck off.

marius knows he cant, he would mess everything up. he tries to distract himself with conversations and champaign. it works to some extent, but at some point he can’t take it. he steps outside for some fresh air. as he makes his way out to the garden, he lets out a heavy sigh.

what is wrong with him? marius knows, he’s certian you love him. hell, you’re the girl of his dreams— the love of his life. he knows there’s no one else for him but you. his hand slips into his suit’s inside pocket. he pulls out a pack of cigarettes (a pack he definitely stole from vyn’s estate but he would never admit that.)

as he lights the stick, a puff of smoke leaves the corners of his lips. the smoke suffocates his lungs, making him feel light headed. it makes him feel somewhat better. the inability to think means he doesn’t have to think about you all over some other guy. he doesn’t have to think about how you weren’t allowed to wear your promise ring so nobody knows you’re taken. marius doesn’t even want to think about that guy’s hand touching your bare back.

however, before his irritation can grow into something more intense, a pair of arms circle his waist. he’s taken aback before he looks over his shoulder. he doesn’t fully turn all the way before realizing it’s you. your cheeks pressed against his shoulder blades, fingertips toying with the button’s of his dress shirt.

“since when do you smoke?” you ask marius in a tired tone, eyes fluttering shut. he manages to turn around without your arms letting go of him. he quickly drapes his jacket over your shoulders, shielding you body from the cold. marius stomps on the cigarette, before placing it back into the pack.

“what are you doing here, missy? shouldn’t you be inside, hm?” his lips curl into that signature smirk of his. his hands make their way to your hips— cheeky bastard. “couldn’t leave me alone for one night, huh?” his tall stature allows him to hover over you. he leans down, whispering sweet words into your ears.

you chuckle in that sweet, sugary tone of yours. the bubbles in marius’s stomach dissolves. that’s sweet laughter is reserved for his ears. this side of you was reserved for him as well. he’s an idiot. your hand manages to cup his jaw, thumb rubbing circles into his cheeks (he still has a bit of a babyface.)

“answering a question with a question. you really aren’t doing well,” you frown slightly before marius’ brows fall. he shakes his head, hiding his face into the crook of your neck. he hums, inhaling the sweet vanilla scent of your perfume accompanied by the coconut shampoo you use.

“i missed you,” he says, hugging you even tighter. chest to chest, marius tries to bury himself into you, but that's physically impossible. he whines like a child, trying to curl into you. your arms are around him, your palm patting his head.

"missed you too. we can go now, luke will take over from here. just had to lure him away," you don't move your boday away from him though even has the night air has you breaking out into goosebumps. your hands slide around his waist, cheek presses against his shoulders.

there's a beauty in marius's flaws, his immaturity. a boy forced to grow up so fast, forced to carry the burden of pax's ceo-- a task he was not shaped for. though at times his immaturity and teasing manners can tick you off, you tend to encourage it. it allows marius to truly be the young man he is, rather than the serious ceo mask he wears through out the day.

so for now, you'll kiss his face, cup his cheeks in your hands, and allow him to lay between your legs with his head on your stomach, while you toy with his hair. there's no universe in which would you ever want marius to have to keep that mask on forever. even if his jealousy is stemming from a place of childishness and immaturity, you'll allow it to continue for the sole sake of wanting to see the true marius von hagen. he's much easier to talk to like this anyway.

© ilyhaitanii - do not repost, translate, plagarize or repost it to any other sites

[deceptive-daydreams]

Eddie x reader with social anxiety below the cut…just a little self indulgent blurb cause for real this is all I need 😪

also-would LOVE to talk about this concept with someone cause I think about it a lot

Masterlist

Eddie being so good with you if you have social anxiety and never once making you feel bad about it.  You’re walking around the mall trying to enjoy a nice Saturday with your boyfriend and low and behold that sinking feeling hits and you’re suddenly so uncomfortable and overstimulated like EVERYTHING is bothering you from the chatter of people throughout the mall to the bright lighting, even down to the feeling of your clothes on your body suffocating you.  

You’re getting itchy and your heart rate is picking up faster and faster with each passing second, mouth going dry and sweat forming in the most odd places.  Everything is too vivid for you and there’s no way to turn it off.  Eddie starts talking beside you about how ugly some shirt is and while you hear him you just nod and let out a forced giggle as the world around you seems to crumble.  He senses you’re a little off but can’t be too sure because sometimes you’re quiet anyway and he doesn’t wanna point anything out just to make you feel insecure.  

It’s when you’re walking out of the store and through the mall that he definitely knows, when he’s trying to talk to you about a gig he booked for Corroded Coffin next month and your eyes are just blank as he talks.  Your responses are just small nods and fake closed mouth smiles, almost as if you can’t actually smile even if your life depended on it.  That’s the point that he knows he has to intervene and force you to stop conforming to the world around you and to do what you need to feel human again.  

His hand would graze yours gently and then interlock your fingers, pulling you toward an empty bench nearby saying “Okayyy, let’s sit down for a minute, alright baby?”  His eyes would be so kind and caring and he’d just sit with you.  He knew you’d almost always go mute in this kind of situation so he would be patient and try to say things that didn’t require a verbal answer.  “Things are kinda loud in here aren’t they?” He would ask softly, his full attention on you as your eyes dart around your surroundings nervously.  You’d nod your head, tears brimming at your eyes, you just couldn’t control it.  “Hey, look at me.” He’d tilt his head down to catch your focus, big chocolatey button eyes captivating you.  “I’ve got you.”  His hand gives yours a light squeeze.  

You still feel paralyzed, there’s nothing you could do, you couldn’t even ask if you could leave and maybe just go home to enjoy the rest of the day.  Every time you tried it just felt like your throat closed up.  And you couldn’t stand up either, feeling glued to the bench as the voices among the mall rang through your ears.  You felt like everyone was staring at you and how pathetic you are when in reality not a soul looked over at you.  But you swear it felt like millions of eyes were on you watching your every move, waiting for you to do something stupid so they could laugh.  

Your breathing was shallow, Eddie could see it in the way your chest moved up and down quicker than normal.  To the average person it wouldn’t look like you were having a meltdown but Eddie could see it in your body language and your slightest movements that you were going through hell.  He knew he had to get you out of there or you would just let yourself suffer in silence. 

“Let’s go outside, okay?  Need a smoke break.” He would tell you.  He didn’t need a smoke break, was actually doing really well and not relying on cigarettes as often.  But he would do anything to alleviate the feeling that you were burdening him by wanting to leave so he would make it sound like his idea.  You would nod and finally stand up and he’d lead you out of the mall where it was quiet and you could potentially find some calm.  

Finally being away from all those people, your voice returns and you’re able to speak up, sniffling as you did so.  “M’ sorry, Eddie, I-I dunno what happened.  I thought I was doing so well and this hasn’t happened in a while—“ he’d interrupt you by bringing you close to his chest, his hand cradling the back of your head.  His other hand would sneak under your jaw and his thumb would gently caress the apple of your cheek, catching a stray tear that had escaped.  He would speak so softly in your ear because he knows you have trouble with eye contact and sometimes it overwhelms you “Don’t ever apologize, do you hear me?”  You’d whimper, trying not to cry and he’d continue.  “You feeling comfortable means more to me than anything.  We could sit at home all day staring at the floor and I would have the best time because I’m with you.”  You would still protest, always a people pleaser and never putting your own comfort first.  “I-I wish I could be normal and go out in public without freaking out, w-we could do normal couple things and do date nights but I always ruin it.” Your voice would be wobbly.  

He’d nudge his nose ever so slightly against your cheek and you’d find the courage to look up at him, his lashes dusting shadows over his cheeks as he smiles sweetly.  “In case you haven’t realized, baby, I don’t do normal.”  At this you wouldn’t be able to hide the small smile pulling at your lips.  “And I think a blanket-fort movie night with takeout has your name on it.”  He would be looking at you so gooey and in love, only ever wanting to make you feel happy and cared for.  

Wow I’m projecting.  

Masterlist

[hanasnx]

(if this makes u uncomfy in any way plz ignore)

idk if mj exists in SW ‘verse, but like—sex with ani while ur both high as kite?? BIG YES (from me at least).

esp cause!! it would probably heighten ani’s force sensitivity?? like he’s feeling high and tingling and extra touch sensitive and all of a sudden you’re touching him and he’s getting a rush of emotions, floating, hungry, hot, i love you i want you.

and you. you look like heaven, like every sin he’s ever indulged in, all flushed and glowy and smiley, touching him with a fluttery touch.

ani needs you when he’s high cause there’s something almost spiritual, almost heaven scent and hell touched, about the rush of you he gets in every way.

as a former pothead i think i've gotta set some records straight. long post about marijuana + fucking + anakin under the cut <3

warnings: marijuana, negative + positive for anakin experience with marjuana

when i was smoking enough for a circle and then playing whatever videogame was in my ps for 20 hours a day, i can say that it did nothing but make me hungry, my attention span elongated, and my anxiety non-existent. i wasn't interested in fucking, i was mostly into wasting away while naked. it didn't do much (that i can remember) for my sense of touch.

i do know that when i did fuck while high, it wasn't a remarkable experience because i don't remember any of it. nor did it make me horny or add to the sensation. those kinds of effects were from an entirely different drug that i did that i dont feel like putting the trigger warnings for so i wont talk about it

pot is definitely good for mellowing out, chilling, and fucking really casual. and i mean really casual. that's my experience with it anyway i have no idea if its diff for other ppl, im sure ppl who arent demisexual and have higher sex drives than me can say different who knows.

for anakin, i can see him smoking and fucking. definitely. in very specific circumstances. let me lay those out for you:

he smokes very occasionally for spirituality reasons. he does it respectfully, with great care. a big stickler about it. he wants to emphasize to himself it's not for recreational or social reasons. the jedi discourage drugs that cloud your judgment. marijuana is frowned upon to rely on for things like calming yourself or meditating because you should be able to do that alone. however, it's not frowned upon to partake in it every once in a while. it's all about new experiences and as long as you treat it with respect, it's alright. anakin treats it with the utmost respect.

he does not care to be under the influence of something. being high or drunk is a very rare form for him indeed. he gets very uncomfortable when on something, and especially uncomfortable being reliant on something, so when he is smoking he does it alone most of the time. he does not like being disillusioned, and he certainly does not like the idea of someone's no-nonsense idea of him being shattered.

he's led a ceremony with younger people of the order. taught them how to partake, how to roll, how to use it mindfully. and if someone is having a negative first experience, they had too much or it does not agree with them and it gets into their heads, he knows how to calm them.

when he smokes with you, it might be a rare moment of rebellion. a "i'm an adult, i can smoke a little weed." moment. and even with that notion, his darkness may catch up to him. the guilt of using it under different circumstances than usual may put him in a bad place, memories he pushes back into the reaches of his mind creep up. his past with tatooine, the tusken massacre, etc. he gets paranoid, those doubts you couldn't love a monster like him get the better of him. it gets in his way. and you're there to lead him back to the present. like op said, "you look like heaven" he'd hone in on you. tunnel vision.

anakin's way of calming himself is often self pleasure. and so since youre here, and willing and able, he might use you to guide him back to the present in a more physical way. he can't think if he's inside you, all he can do is chase his orgasm. he's tingly, he's got those nerves in the pit of his stomach, he's trying to ground himself using you and at the same time fuck you out of this world. however, with marijuana you're both slowed, and clumsy. the love-making wouldn't be coherent, or poised, but it'd be enjoyable. less concerned about what you must look like, and more cuddly. more shallow thrusts, and humping ruts, and sloppy kisses and no dialogue.

[liknws]

[ 001 ] Brand Spankin' New.

⎯⎯ PAIRING: lee minho x reader/oc ⎯⎯ TAGS: enemies with serious tension, childhood friends to enemies, revenge eras, college au, angst, bad humor bc i'm not as funny as i think i am, misunderstandings, unrequited feelings ⎯⎯ RATING: 18+, mature ⎯⎯ WARNINGS: drug use (weed), excessive cursing, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, mentions of sex and sexual themes (non explicit) ⎯⎯ WORD COUNT: 4k (4.972)

⎯⎯ SUMMARY: karma (kar·ma) defined as "(in hinduism and buddhism) the sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences". you've always been a big believer in karma and the universe, knowing that eventually all energy is returned. so when your life is ruined by someone you used to call your best friend, you wonder why karma is taking it's sweet time in retaliating against him. what hurts more is your university won't punish something based on hearsay and so it's up to you to find the proof that lee minho is an evil mastermind and get his ass removed from school for good.

[ masterlist ]

“Did you guys see her newest tweet?” There’s a voice off to the right but you’re not paying much attention. The smoke curls around you in a comforting way that has you leaning back on the beanbag and letting out a content groan. You know exactly what they’re talking about, you’re the one who posted the tweet after all. Not that they know that, no one knows that. Not even your best friends, the people that you’ve shared every embarrassing detail of your life with.

“How do you know the account is a woman?” One of those aforementioned best friends speaking up. Mae, the calm to your storm, the one you find yourself relying on more and more these last few weeks. She never left your side, even supported your idea to take that much needed leave of absence from school after he ruined your life.

But the new year is here, the fall semester officially starts in one week and it’s the first day of rush. The weather is cooling off from the blistering summer, the leaves are changing, and you decided to take their lead and change with them. No more wallowing, no more hiding in your apartment while everyone else has a life without you. Your break is done, you kept up your end of the deal with the dean to take your finals when it came time. You passed, thankfully, and that meant you could start your third year of university with a clean slate.

The discussion draws you back in, hearing the argument about who the mysterious twitter account holder could be. The voice, belonging to the boy Mae had invited, continues. “The way they hate him, it has to be an ex.” You want to snort but instead you just shift in the beanbag, wondering if you laid here long enough if it would just swallow you slowly like quicksand. “You had to admit, he’s dated some questionable people in the past. I wouldn’t put it past a few of them to do this.”

You remain silent, best to not say anything in case you come off a little too smug or a little too prideful of that last tweet. Really you’re not the one coming up with most of the tweets, people are sending so many messages to the anonymous twitter account that you’re having a hard time working through them all. Some are good ones, things you schedule to post through the day. Some messages, you can attest, are from some of his more unstable exes. Those you just delete when you get them, deciding not to entertain the possible storm that could create.

“Who’s dated questionable people?” A new voice, one familiar that raises the imaginary hackles on your back. Really if you were a cat you’d be puffed up and hissing at the newcomer, claws swiping at him to leave.

“Your best friend.” The words taste like venom dripping from your tongue as you open your eyes, settling them on Jisung with a sneer. He at least has the decency to shrink away from your glare. He looks startled, as if he wasn’t expecting you to be there at all. Maybe he’s terrified because of the vitriolic tone you used in addressing him. You don’t care, you don’t want him in your safe circle, sucking up the smoke that’s keeping you calm.

“You’re- I-” He stammers, rubbing the back of his neck while looking away from you. “I didn’t know you were going- that you’re here.” So he didn’t expect you to return after his mentioned best friend had broken you so deeply, left you with scars that lingered and barely healed. Some days they were fresh wounds, some days they were scabs that you couldn’t stop picking at. Today it’s a bright pink scar, tender and the slightest brush makes you wince in pain.

“Look like you’ve seen a ghost, Han Jisung.” You level him with your gaze again, watching with a satisfied smirk as he shrinks further away from you. You say his name like a curse, as if it’s the most horrific sounds your lips have shaped.

“Stop.” The singular word draws your look from Jisung to your best friend, catching her eyes and you calm down a little. She presses a hand to your thigh, fingers gripping into your thigh in warning. “Hi, Jisung. Are the other’s here?” She glances around, looking past him in search of those other six familiar faces. You wonder the same thing but she’s always been the softer of you two, the quiet breeze compared to your tempest winds.

“Yeah, yeah. They’re, um, around.” He looks like he wants to be anywhere but here. The others in the circle, the few people you were just talking to and passing the blunt around with have gone silent as they watched the exchange. They all know why you glare at the chipmunk cheeked boy, why you spit venom at him every time you open your mouth. It’s the worst kept secret on campus, how Lee Minho had all but sold out your body as a prank. You don’t like thinking about it but it’s hard not to be reminded when strangers stare at you in pity, or you’re reminded when his friends are around.

“Tell them I say hi,” you say to him, shifting to sit up a little in the beanbag. He takes a step back like he expects you to pounce on him, teeth bared and claws extended. Instead you just smile at him, tight lipped before reaching for the joint that’s passed your way. You turn attention back to your circle of people, clear that your words were meant as dismal. You almost feel bad for the dejected look in Jisung’s face as he walks away.

“Hey.” Mae’s grip on your thigh tightens just slightly, a gesture to grab your attention. She’s looking at you with too inquisitive eyes. “Do you want to go home?” Truthfully, yes, you do; leaving now means that he wins again and you refuse to give that satisfaction. No doubt Jisung has already run back to his group to tell them he saw you. Your suspicions are confirmed when two familiar faces poke around the corner. It reminds you of a cartoon, just the sight of two heads extended past the wall, one on top of the other.

When they spot you, the shorter of the two bolts out from behind the cover of the wall and all but runs to you. Your name is slurred a bit in greeting, his lanky arms wrapping around you before you can protest. You have just enough forethought to pass the joint to Mae before he’s on you.The awkwardness of the beanbag you’ve chosen for the night means he either can crouch to greet you but it wouldn’t be Felix if he did things the normal way. Instead he lays on top of you, face buried into your neck as he hugs you tightly. He might be Minho’s friend but he’s been your sunshine since you met last year.

So you allow his crushing hug. “Nice to see you too, Lix.” You’d hug him back if you could but he’s got your arms in the vice grip he’s calling a hug and they’re trapped at your sides. You resign to your fate, even letting out a soft laugh as he clings to you. You catch a little of what he’s mumbling into your neck, though you do catch how happy he is to see you and that he missed you while you were gone.

The second of the two walks over with his hands shoved into his pockets. You can tell by the way he’s holding back a smile he’s just as happy to see you but his affection is far less physical than Felix. You catch his eyes, giving the best wave you can while still trapped under your sunshine “Hyunjin, hey.” As much as you had wanted to hate them for their association with Minho, it was impossible and you were quick to forgive them for their unfortunate choice in friends. They at least respected you enough not to mention him around you and effectively let you carve out a small part of the dance department that wasn’t tainted by him.

“Ji said he saw you so Felix had to come find you.” Hyunjin offers as a greeting and explanation, reaching down to grab his best friend by the collar of his leather jacket and hoist him off you. “Are you coming back?” He’s never been one to beat around the bush with you, something you respect. “We’ve missed you around the department.”

You feel a warmth in your chest that’s been gone since you left last year. While the leave of absence had given you time to heal, it had also left an emptiness in you that you know was because you were missing such a huge piece of yourself. Dance had always been your safe place, always been your home whenever you needed it. The idea of leaving your apartment had put such a crippling fear into you that you thought you would never be able to return. It had taken months of hard work but you felt okay enough to return, to fall back into the warmth of a dance studio again.

“Mhm,” you offer as confirmation, nodding as well. Their smiles are infectious, eyes crinkling and lifting a dark cloud you hadn’t realized was lingering. In the most dignified way that you could, you stood from the beanbag. “I’ll see you guys later, I need some air.” You looked to Mae who rose with you but gestured at her to stay, you really only intended to slip out the front door for a quick breath of fresh air before coming back.

You part from the circle, patting both Hyunjin and Felix on the arm as you pass, before walking out the front door. It’s a lot more quiet outside on the front lawn. The party wasn’t a rager by any means, more of a too large gathering with slightly loud music and drinks to share. Tame in comparison to some parties you knew would be going on across campus. You had purposely avoided Greek Row, knowing those parties would be exactly that. You hadn’t counted that the people you were also looking to avoid wouldn’t be throwing their own party on the Row.

A handful of people are mingling outside, not one person paying attention to you as you take a seat on the steps. The concrete is chilly underneath you, coupled with the cooler night air and it sends a shiver through your body. The calm out here has done exactly what you wanted, cooled down your temper and brought your beating anxiety to a manageable level. Seeing Jisung had done more than you wanted to openly admit to yourself, knowing that behind the producer lurks the reason for your anxiety. You needed to flee before you caught eyes with the rest of the group.

You’re unsure how long you’ve been sitting out here, you’re only vaguely aware of people coming and going from their own breaks of the party. The cold metal of the railing pressed into your forehead is comfortable, eyes closing a bit as you relax into the iron banister. The music from the house raises in volume and then quiets again, your assumption being that when someone opens the door and closes it again. You assume you haven’t been out here long because Mae has not come to find you but you wonder if that’s wrong too as a jacket settles over your shoulders.

The smell is familiar and warm, woodsy and deep and full of memories that you can’t seem to bring to the surface no matter how hard you try. You know the smell, you can’t figure out why you do, but it brings a sort of comfort nonetheless that has you pulling the jacket tighter around your shoulders and burying your nose into the collar. The music is loud and then muffled once again and you’re left alone outside with your new jacket and your fuzzy thoughts.

Only when your mouth feels a little too dry and your ass has gone numb from sitting on the cold steps, you finally wander back into the party. Mae’s moved from the spot you left her in and you’ve got enough sense to text her to check on her. A quick exchange, making sure she’s okay. Confirmation from your roommate tells you that she’s alright and you don’t need to wait for her if you want to go home. A simple thumbs up emoji on the message and a thanks for the jacket are sent before closing your phone. You don’t see her confused reply, asking what jacket since she didn’t give you anything.

A red cup pulled from the stack and run under the tap for a drink of water is your destination. The slightly earthy taste from the water is a comfort, reminding you of warm weather back home and spending sweltering days in ponds and lakes to cool off.

Your arms slide through the sleeves of the jacket, settling into the warmth of its soft fabric. The sleeves extend just a little past your fingers, you realize. Mae must have grabbed it from her date, you think, raising the cuff to your nose to practically nuzzle into the hem. It’s a soft jacket and you don’t want to give it back and you wonder if you can convince her to let you keep it as a roommate tax for letting her invite a date to what was meant to be a girl’s night out. Not that you can really blame her, you guess. You’ve spent nearly every waking minute together and most nights cuddled in her bed instead of your own. The nights are the worst, that’s when the anxiety and the fears settle in like they’re meant to call your chest home.

Without your roommate to wait on, you don’t see the point in staying at the party much longer. The place is still as lively as it was before but your social battery is nearing zero quickly and the call of your bed is strong. You won’t admit that the sight of that group has ruined your night, the good mood you were clinging to so desperately has gone with it. Your phone is back in your hand, a quick text to the house chat to let them know you’re headed home and don’t worry about being quiet when they all arrive at their own times.

Lucy is the first to reply, sending a simple blue heart emoji. It makes you smile and you’re shoving your phone back into your pocket while using your other hand to pat down for the key to your apartment.

“Giving yourself a feel because no one else will?”

The voice makes your blood boil immediately, smiling slipping from your face as you turn to look at Minho. He leans against the island counter in the middle of the kitchen. Silently cursing your luck, you just roll your eyes and go to walk away but a tug on the hood of your jacket halts your steps. An extremely undignified sound escapes at the yank of the hood and you’re flailing backwards for a second until a hand presses to the middle of your back to halt your fall.

“Falling for me?” He grins at you when you turn to face him.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” you snap at him while shoving his hand off you roughly. You should have guessed Minho would show up once Jisung had spotted you, you should have made your escape then and never come back into the house. Now you’re living with the consequence of your decision to stay instead of just running then, all because you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction that even the idea of him sends you in the opposite direction.

His hands come up and make a gesture intended to placate the anger thrown his way. “Sorry.” Somehow you doubt his apology given that it’s coupled with that stupid, ugly smirk of his. “Heard you were back.” There’s a slightly awkward pause when you choose not to reply, arms crossing over your chest. A facial expression meant to tell him to go on or shut up settles over your face. “Can’t wait to see your introduction performance this year. Break a leg.” You choose to believe he’s mocking you, in no way do you trust his words to be sincere at all. It’s Lee Minho, he doesn’t know how to be sincere.

Eyes narrow as your stare levels on him, mouth opening to say something nasty in retort. The words die in your throat when a gentle hand clamps over your lips and pulls you backwards by your wrist. You watch as Minho is swallowed by the crowd as you’re dragged out of the kitchen and back into the cool air. Outside smells fresh and you wonder if there might be a storm tonight. Part of you hopes there might be, as a way to wash away everything tonight.

“Go home.” The words are barked at you. Oh right, someone dragged you here. Yanking your arm from their grip, rounding to look at them with the insult that was primed for Minho now ready to be flung toward your captor. His glare makes you stop, shrinking back just a little before remembering you’re not afraid of Christopher Bahng.

“I don’t remember you being in charge of my life.” Shoulders square, taking a step to stand toe to toe with him. Damn, did he get wider? You don’t remember him being quite so filled out. “And the bastard approached me first.” You note how his jaw twitches as he clenches his teeth when you argue with him, when you step closer and won’t back down from him. There’s that stupid voice in the back of your head to swing, that you could take him easily.

“Be the bigger person and go home, Cherry.” His voice is much softer but the look on his face doesn’t change. Your lips purse however at the nickname, sucking on your teeth in annoyance of his casual use of that name. He was the one who came up with it after all, him and Minho had adopted that name for you when you were much younger. A way to tease you for always wanting cherry flavored everything- popsicles to hard candies and everything in between. The name tugs at your heart just a little. Traitorous organ.

“Why do I have to be the bigger person?” Your refusal to back down doesn’t seem to bring a surprise, in fact he seems to have expected it. Once again he grabs you with that large hand, wrapping around your bicep and dragging you away from the house into the street.

“Still live at the same place? I’ll walk you home.”

“I don’t need a fucking escort, Chris.” You shrug his hold off. “Touch me again and I’ll break your hand. Make it hard to perform your live introduction piece with a shattered hand I bet.” There was once a time these threats would never have passed your lips in his direction, never at him. Only ever in his defense, only ever to protect those you cared about. Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away. Some bullshit like that.

“I’ll make sure Mae gets home safe but you need to go, okay? Just- please.” He almost seems.. desperate? You two are standing in the dark of the street, the street lights too spaced out to illuminate your faces. You can only assume his tone, unable to see the look on his face. If it was light you would see that his eyes are soft, pleading with you to just once listen to him. To take his warning and to go home.

“Awa’ an bile yer heid,” you mutter as you turn away from him and start walking to the bus in order to get back to your apartment. His concern leaves you lost for words, lost for a better retort so you just drop the first dismal you can come up with.

“Speak fucking English!” Chan shouts after you, laughing a bit. You don’t risk looking back, knowing you’d find him watching you with that smile. That smile and those stupidly adorable dimples of his. You raise a hand, sending him a single finger salute without looking back at him. Now that you’re truly alone out here, it feels colder as you walk to the bus stop. Pulling the jacket tighter around your middle, pulling the sleeves down further to hide your fingers from the chilled wind.

Just as you near the bus stop the first raindrop of the autumn season hits your cheek.

・❥・

  The morning is crisp after last night’s storm but the clouds have parted for the time. By the time you’re holding your second cup of coffee that morning, your other roommates have joined you out on the back patio in varying degrees of wakefulness. Lucy grumbles something and pulls the mug from your hands, much to your protest, and curls back in her lawnchair with your stolen mug.

“You came home early last night.” She breaks the settled silence, looking over at you.

“Aye, I was wanting to go to bed so my best friend could steal my coffee in the morning.” You’re attempting to reach for your coffee but she bounds out of the chair far faster than someone half awake should be able to. “Chris basically kicked me out.”

“Wait, kicked you out? I thought you weren’t going to Greek parties?” Elsie turns from where she was smoking and smushes the half smoked cigarette under her boot. “You know, to avoid him and his satanic best friend.”

“We didn’t go to the Row.” Mae comes to defense quickly, poking her head up from your lap, eyes opening for the first time since settling in on top of you. “They were there, not our fault. Jisung saw us first and then ran away to spread the news as quickly as he could.”

“That tiny chipmunk bastard can’t keep a single thing to himself, can he?” Elsie rolls her eyes, dropping into Lucy’s now abandoned chair. “Has to play Minho’s ever loyal bitch- ow.” Lucy’s fist remains on top of Elsie’s head where she’d knocked her knuckles into her sister’s head in warning. “Sorry. Loyal pet- fucking ow.” Elsie reaches up to swat at the other’s hand.

“Basically Minho was being Minho, trying to start something and Chris came to the rescue as always. He dragged me out of the house and told me to go home. Basically ordered me, the fucking bastard.”

“I love when you get angry and your accent is so thick I can barely understand you. Really love the mental workout this morning.” Mae loves to tease the three of you for your accents, according to her they make you almost unable to be understood when speaking English around the house. She often jokes that learning to speak Scots is now her third language.

“Lap privileges revoked.” You shift so her head is no longer in your lap, using the opportunity to stand as well. “I need to head to the studio anyway, finish working on this routine for the introductory performance next week.”

“Lu already packed you lunch. It’s in the fridge and your favorite water bottle is in the freezer to take with you too.” Elsie is quick to inform you with a grin. Lucy beams from where she’s sitting, eyes still closed as she drinks (your) her coffee.

“I’ll come with I need to finish mine,” Mae says between struggling yawns before heading to your shared room to get ready. When you tell her you’ll meet her outside she sends you a thumbs up over her head in acknowledgement.

・❥・

  “So whose jacket did you take home last night? I’ve never seen that one.” That same jacket that is thrown over one of the chairs in the corner with your bag. Your head lifts to follow her accusatory finger before dropping back down, the dull thud of your head hitting hardwood sounding a lot louder in the empty studio space than reality.

“I thought you gave it to me last night. When I went out to get air.”

“Nope.” She pops the ‘p’ on the word. “Did you just steal a jacket?”

“Yah! I don’t just steal things. It was given to me, thank you very much.”

A contemplative hum through closed lips but she doesn’t say anything more. You can almost see the cogs turning in her mind and you want to ask what she’s thinking but the subject is changed quickly.

“How are you feeling about the dance?” She watches you in the ceiling to floor mirrors before turning to actually face you. Your head rolls to the side, looking at her now instead of staring up at the ceiling.

“Nervous. Director Yun gave me some really great advice and feedback after looking at my taped final. I don’t know, I’m really outside of my comfort zone here- but that’s the whole point right? I’m not here to perfect what I already know, I want to learn where I’m weak. How else can I be a big time choreographer if all I can do is a pirouette and a chassé.”

“You’re not doing ballet this year?” A new voice chimes into the conversation and you swear your eyes might just roll hard enough to fall out of your head. It would be far more preferable than this conversation. “So the old dog does know more than one trick.”

“We’re the same fucking age, Minho.” You're propped up on your elbows now, eyes narrowed as he stands in the doorway. He’s not alone of course, you note. He’s never alone. You wonder if he’s still holding the fear of being alone, that at the end of everything he’ll just be as lonely as he was before.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“And I’m not going to.” Moving to sit up, you reach for the discarded canvas pirouette slips. “Leave so I can practice.”

“No.” You don’t even need to look at him to know that stupid smirk is there.

“No? The fuck do you mean no?” He ignores your question and walks in, Chan following behind. You watch the both of them with hands on hips before glancing back at Mae. The confusion and fury is written all over your face but the two newcomers are either choosing to ignore it or just don’t see it. You’d bet your life savings that it’s the former.

“You’re not the only person needing to practice for the introduction performance.” As if that is meant to explain why he’s trying to kick you out of the room you’ve been using. His dance bag drops on top of yours. “I’ll help you and then you can leave so I can use the room.”

“I don’t need your help.” You hate how it comes out more like a question. Stomping over, you grab his bag and shove it back at him. “The fuck do you have in there? Bricks? The fuck it’s so heavy for.” You attempt to shove him and his bag out the door but the canvas on your feet means you just end up sliding a little. Real dignified.

“You said you weren’t doing ballet this year for your dance. Seriously, let me help.” Wow, he almost sounds genuine. Which only makes you far more suspicious. Eyes narrow as he watches you, standing in silence that’s too heavy and too tense. The other two in the room don’t say anything, afraid of leaving with bite marks should they get between the two fighting cats.

“Fine,” you snap, dropping his bag and watching with pride as he fumbles it a little as he wasn’t really holding it. You toss a look to Mae that says more than you could voice right now. Surprisingly she’s already grabbed a couple chairs off the stack, presumably with Chan’s help, and sitting shoulder to shoulder with him. A cheerful thumbs up from her settles the butterflies you didn’t notice had taken up residence in your gut.

Minho is at your side in a beat, his stuff placed back on top of yours. A very are-you-for-real? look in his direction that he just gives you a smile, bunny teeth and all. Mae’s been in charge of the music and you give her a look through the mirror to start it again. On the count you step out into your first move and get lost again in the feeling of your body moving to the music. All you see is yourself in the mirror, critical of every single twitch of muscle and wrinkle of skin. You catch Minho’s eyes in the mirror and you can’t look away.

The intensity in his eyes is captivating, watching every small step and maneuver you put your body through. You’ve seen that look on his face before, years ago, when he would watch you practice your ballet routines or when he was helping with taekwondo. It’s somehow comforting to see him tracking your hands, your feet, watching how you throw your body through the air as if you’re made of a feather instead of a human body.

You can’t take your eyes off him watching you. His eyes meet yours in the mirror. All you can see is him. All he can pay attention to is you.

What you two don’t see is Chan and Mae shaking hands over a friendly bet and sharing knowing smiles.

taglist! comment or fill out the form to be added!

@pearbunny, @smhlino, @5stxrstay, @borahae-reads, @bettybeako, @ana-marais98, @katsukis1wife, @kpopsstuffs, @chaotic-world-of-the-j, @pinkskzs, @ylixbok, @eternitywaveshello

[reirexx]

Idk why this personal shigadabi playlist of mine somehow made a story/fic timeline? Like, hear me OuT- //btw I've never written anything so pardon me-

———

The two have been together ever since the first ever they decided to take a first step to getting along when in need of working together. They tolerated each other first after days, weeks, months even, of denying their not-so-different background after opening up to each other one day on a rooftop after hours, sharing some smokes courtesy of Dabi being the influencer. It was funny given how Dabi is the type to keep everything to himself, yet there he was, borderline vent out to his boss. And vice versa. They both understand how not giving any two cents after is respectable, it was the last thing they need anyway. Months of a relationship have lasted enough for them to get comfortable around each other. They even share a room under the hideout roof.

You see, Shigaraki is the one who has the tendency to question —everything— in this defective funky relationship. He's very verbal, contradicting Dabi in which he'd prefer to act it out rather than spew meaningless empty words. He had enough of empty compromising words from his father back then, so words are more likely meant to be empty unless it's acted out. Yet whenever Shigaraki would call him beautiful every time they kissed, he'd melt away. He's literally smitten.

Honestly, it was a game of cat and mouse, pulling and pushing, but they managed to get things through. Unfortunately one day, they had a significant disagreement on both ends.

For Shigaraki he couldn't even figure out what he had to say to save this relationship, and as for Dabi, he did the wrong thing to leave him alone in his thoughts and began his self-destructive routine. It was torturous. Shigaraki couldn't be saved from his ongoing anxiety-inducing thoughts unless there was an external factor that could ease up his mind. Dabi's been the reason Shigaraki is calm and collected whenever he's around. But Dabi likes to run. He would leave the premise to calm himself up before he could ever backfire the situation on himself. Sure hurting Shigaraki was probably the best answer for the conflict they have inflicted on, but seeing him getting hurt was another thing he'd never forgive himself for. Shigaraki loathe the idea of separation. He ended up pinning the hatred onto Dabi. He could've easily dusted him out of his existence, but Shigaraki also loathes the idea of where Dabi is gone forever. They're both in a dilemma for a good amount of time. They weren't even sure if they were still a thing or not.

It's been long enough for both of them to be in their withdrawal stage. But eventually, they adapted to their own situations. Keeping their distance even in the same room was probably best for them to keep everything to themselves. Ever so slightly though, they'd steal a glance at each other. Fickle of moments where they were together would crawl out. They —hate— it.

How they relied on each other, how they were both the most thoughtful of each other, how they both understood each other, how calming it was for Shigaraki to be around Dabi, how amusing it was for Dabi to tease the hell out of Shigaraki, how admittedly jealous Dabi was whenever he sees Shigaraki game with Spinner sometimes, how addicting it was for them kissing all of the scars they have on each other every night, how they were all over each other. How basically perfect they are for each other.

Dabi couldn't take it, his thoughts were running all over the place. He even almost got himself exposed and probably killed on his scouting. So he chose to drown it out by drinking a. lot. one day. That was where Shigaraki found him by his bedroom door. Honestly, the man himself was unfazed yet very much anxious. Dabi was about to pass out by then but thankfully still functioned enough for Shigaraki to easily dragged him inside and let him rest on his bed for the night. Shigaraki sometimes knew Dabi would recklessly drink to the brink of passing out to avoid problems, or in a recent case, runoff. As Shigaraki was about to go out and decided to crash on the couch, Dabi said something Shigaraki wished he was rather be deaf for.

"You're the only one, Shig."

Then there was a long pause, Shigaraki wasn't sure if he should reciprocate or not.

"I admit.. it was scary at first knowing I'm capable of.. the fuckin L word." Dabi scoffed. Shigaraki could sense Dabi grimaced at that even without looking, but he would also do about the same anyway.

"You've changed me in a way that made me feel human again somehow."

"You should sober up."

"No. Shut the fuck up and let me do the talking now, and I'm sure as hell I will remember shits."

Shigaraki decided to turn around and finally face him, still keeping a good distance.

"It was very wrong of me, I knew. But really it was best for me also to distance myself from you given I know how overwhelming this can be for you. All the things you said to me, I know damn well you mean it. And I'm very grateful for that. For everything you did too. Frankly.. I don't want us to separate, ever."

Dabi sat up to meet the red eyes staring, honestly, those eyes were the first thing he had fallen for. "I don't expect you to forgive me, I just wanted you to know how much I've been introspecting myself for us. Well, if you want this to continue that is. I-" he paused, almost choking on his words "And I'd agree to whatever really... Just, let's drop this, Shig. We had many fights before but this one.. for once in a lifetime I regret choosing the fleeing option. You did say I could have anyone I want, right? Well, I'm sorry to say that I only want you, no one else."

Shigaraki stood there astonished, for once he couldn't say anything. He stepped closer holding out his hand and hovered it beside Dabi's face.

"Just say the word, Shig. Then I won't bother you anymore. You can decide."

Shigaraki couldn't come up with something that could be the answer to that, no. He was sure he didn't want Dabi out of his life, and he finally got the things he always wanted with him around. Though with how he implied it, he thought he had enough of him on his end. But he kept it at bay to prevent any more damage and repeat the thing he probably did on his term that landed them in this situation. With how little Dabi talks anything can be so ambiguous. Poor Shigaraki with his next to zero knowledge of relationships, well that was before Dabi. They really have been influencing each other to be a better version of themselves, on their own term that is. He knew one way.

Shigaraki lifted up Dabi's jaw for him to meet his gaze only in a matter of seconds before closing the distance between them. He could feel Dabi tense up a little before finally melting on Shigaraki's touch, he reciprocated well at that. Dabi hooked his arm around Shigaraki's neck to hold him and Shigaraki's around Dabi's waist, they needed it. Eventually, they had to break the contact for some air, their foreheads touching.

"If you're dying to know, I'd say let's keep this. Heck even stay by my side, always, please."

"Your pleading is the last thing I want to hear, I'd unconditionally give everything I have of me, boss." Dabi slurred out his words.

"Dumbass." Shigaraki chuckled under his breath, relieved at how things turned out.

[nroibdodyl3e1r]

Hi ! here is the first chapter of my fiction. I just finished it so maybe I'll edit it later.

Olive's babysitter

Notes: I aged Dwayne because in the movie he's 15 and I didn't feel comfortable writing about him at that age, so I gave him 18 (he's a senior in high school.) Also, this is my very first time writing. Don't hesitate to tell me what I can improve, and give me your opinion and ideas! I hope that you will like it! English is not my first language, I do my best to correct myself but there may still be some mistakes.

Chapter 1 a strange day

You have been babysitting Olive for 3 months now. You pick her up from school, take her home, help her with her homework and of course, you help her practice. Recently you even stay for dinner.

Sheryl is happy to be able to rely on you. Grandpa often offers you to smoke a joint with him and gives you questionable advice about men. Richard talks about his 9 steps all the time and you have acquired the very useful skill of pausing your brain to not listen to him but still knowing when to nod your head to give the impression that you are listening. Olive sees you as the best big sister in the world. You don't know what Dwayne thinks of you, the fact that you've never heard him speak and the fact that he's very explicit about how much he hates everyone doesn't help.

-----------

"Oh shit I'm going to be late!" was the first thing you said this morning. Putting on your t-shirt and sneakers at the same time, you storm out of your room, grab your bag, and leave your house.

By some miracle, you arrive just in time for your first class of the day. You look around when you get to your classroom and see Dwayne sitting in the same place as always; in the back by the window. You smile slightly at him as if to say hi and sit down where there is still a seat. Dwayne has a few classes in common with you but your schedules don't match up at all. You made yours so that you would finish early enough to pick up Olive from school every day.

High school is not really your thing. The day went well and thank god no one came to talk to you. It's not that they are bad but your social anxiety keeps you alone most of the time. You do have a few friends but you're not very close to them, and it doesn't bother you that much.

As soon as you arrive at the elementary school Olive comes to you with a big smile. 

"Y/n!"

"How are you, your majesty?"

"I'm doing great!" she replies with an even bigger smile than before.

You grab her backpack and head back to the Hoovers' house together.When you arrive only Grandpa is there, he is taking a nap on the sofa with his mouth wide open and his arms crossed over his belly. You take a waffle out of the freezer and put it in the toaster while Olive puts her bag in her room. Then she comes to the table and tells you everythings about her day while eating. After a while Richard arrives, tossing his keys on the kitchen cabinet.

"Hello y/n. How are you?"

"Fine and you?"

"Great, I had a lot of people at my conference today."

Suddenly Grandpa wakes up.

"How much did you have to pay them to listen to you talk for so long?"

"Hello, dad." replies Richard losing all his good mood.

You look away quite amused.

After finishing her waffle Olive goes out into the garden with Edwin to repeat her choreography. So it's time to start your homework, you're still working on an essay for your English class. After 20 minutes of trying to write the same paragraph, you throw yourself back in your chair and let out the biggest sigh possible. Dwayne arrives at that moment. You sit up suddenly, a little nervous. He goes straight to his room as always.

You remember the first few weeks you were babysitting Olive how your heart would jump in your chest when he came home. That's when you realized you had a crush on him. Although you still didn't understand why. He acted like you didn't exist, but that's changed now, he would pass you the bottle of Sprite at the table when you asked, and once he even let you into his room to lend you his history textbook. You felt more comfortable around him even though you were still nervous. 

After a little while, he comes out of his room and comes to you. He hands you his notebook where it says "Want need with your essay?". Surprised, you look at his face and he is completely inexpressive. This is the first time he has offered to help you. Slightly shocked you just say a brief "yes". With a sign of the head, he tells you to follow him into his room. You stand up quickly, grab your notebook and follow him with your eyes wide open. Are you dreaming? That's so unusual coming from him.

Without a sound, he sits down at his desk, takes your notebook, and starts reading and making notes on it. You hesitantly sit down next to him on his bed and remain completely silent. After a while he gives you back your notebook, he had corrected some sentences and written some things that you had to add.

"Thank you, Dwayne, that's really nice. I- I don't know how to return the favor."

He scribbles something in his notebook "Don't hesitate if you need help".

"T-thanks." You were completely shocked, this is the first time you'd ever seen Dwayne be so nice to someone.

Dinner is ready!" shouts Sheryl.

"y/n, honey how are you?"

"Fine thanks” You finish setting the table with her and the whole family arrives.

You sit in front of Dwayne, staring blankly at your plate without saying a word, still in shock at what has just happened. You are snapped out of your thoughts by Edwin.

"What about you, Y/n? How are the boys doing in high school? There must be a lot of them after you?”

You laugh nervously and answer in a semi-serious tone "Actually no".

"WHAT!?" shouts Edwin "I don't understand young people these days."

You laugh nervously one last time. Your gaze turns again to your plate and you cast a discreet glance at Dwayne without him seeing you. His face has a strange expression that you can't define. You finish clearing the table, hug Olive, and tells her "good night Olive. See you tomorrow" with a sweet smile. You greet the rest of the family and look at Dwayne for a second, you gather what little courage you have left for the day and throw him a big, sincere smile.

And that’s the end of this long and strange day. You go home, still in shock. That night you struggled to fall asleep, dissecting every second you spent with Dwayne to try to understand his behavior. Finally, you fall asleep with even more questions than before.

[callsign-owl]

It‘s not the Fall that hurts

Hereford, United Kingdom - April 2019

The sky above Hereford was a perfect, endless blue, marred only by a few stray clouds drifting lazily. It was the kind of day most would consider ideal for jumping out of a plane—clear visibility, light winds, and no signs of a storm in the distance. But for Owl, it was nothing short of a nightmare.

The day had finally arrived. The one Owl had been dreading since the moment he first saw it listed on his training schedule: parachute jumps. Up until now, his training had been intense, demanding every ounce of his focus and pushing him to his physical and mental limits. But today was different. Today, he wasn’t just pushing through another grueling workout; he was facing one of his worst fears.

The theory part of the training had been straightforward enough. Owl had absorbed the technical details with ease—how to control the parachute, the correct body position during freefall, the timing of the pull, and what to do in case of an emergency. It was all just information, numbers and procedures that his analytical mind could handle without issue. But now, standing on the tarmac of the airfield, staring at the looming bulk of the military aircraft, all that theoretical knowledge did nothing to calm his nerves. Right now every fiber of his being was screaming at him to walk away.

Ghost stood beside him, his usual stoic presence offering little in the way of comfort. The rest of Task Force 141 were already geared up, ready to go. Soap was his usual cheerful self, throwing out jokes and banter to lighten the mood, Gaz was double-checkeing his equipment with calm precision and Price was simply smoking a cigar. Owl, on the other hand, felt like his stomach was doing backflips.

“You look like you’re about to be sick,” Soap remarked with a grin as he tightened the straps of his harness.

Owl shot him a glare, though it lacked its usual bite. “Maybe I am.”

Soap chuckled, clapping Owl on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, mate. It’s only terrifying the first few times.”

“Very reassuring,” Owl muttered, his eyes drifting back to the plane.

Price stepped up, his gaze fixed on Owl. “You know the drill,” he said, his voice steady. “Tandem jump first. You‘ll be with Ghost the entire time. Just follow his lead, and you’ll be fine.” Price studied Owl for a moment longer, noting the tension in his posture, the way his hands fidgeted with his gear. “First time’s always the hardest,” he finally said, with a little chuckle

Owl nodded, but the reassurance did little to quell the rising tide of fear. The thought of being thousands of feet in the air, relying on nothing but a piece of fabric and some strings to keep him alive, was overwhelming. He was no stranger to high-stress situations, but this was different. This wasn’t a controlled environment, and there was no reset button if things went wrong.

As the team began boarding the plane, Owl hesitated. His feet felt like lead, every step toward the aircraft an act of sheer will. The closer he got to the plane, the harder it became to breathe. Once the team had boarded the aircraft, the engines roared to life and it started heading down the runway. Owl could feel the vibration of the powerful turbines through the floor, each rumble sending another jolt of anxiety through him.

Ghost, who would be jumping with Owl in the tandem setup, was securing their gear together, making sure everything was tight and in place. “You’re going to be fine,” Ghost said, his voice steady and reassuring.

But the words were lost on Owl. As the plane climbed higher and higher, the reality of what was about to happen pressed down on him like a physical weight. His breaths came quicker, his chest tightening with each passing second. By the time the red light above the door turned green, signaling it was time to jump, Owl was on the verge of a panic attack.

“Alright, let’s do this,” Ghost said, moving them toward the open door. But as they approached the open hatch, Owl‘s fear reached its peak. The ground was impossibly far away, the drop a vast, terrifying void. His heart raced, adrenaline surging, but it wasn’t the exhilarating kind he was used to—it was pure, unadulterated terror.

“I—I can’t do this,” Owl stammered, his voice barely audible over the roar of the wind. He felt frozen, his body refusing to move.

“Look at me,” Ghost commanded, turning Owl‘s face toward him. “Breathe. You can do this. Just trust me.”

But no amount of reassurance could break through the panic gripping Owl. His breaths were shallow and rapid, his vision tunneling as the fear threatened to overwhelm him completely. The thought of jumping, of plunging into that empty space, was too much. He shook his head violently, his entire body trembling. “No, I can’t—I can’t do it.”

Ghost saw the fear in Owl‘s eyes, a raw, unfiltered panic that cut through his usual calm, detached exterior. It was a look Ghost had seen before in others, but seeing it in Owl—someone who had shown such calculated precision in every other aspect of his training—was different. Ghost knew there was no time to talk him down or coax him into a state of calm. The longer they hesitated, the worse it would get.

Without another word, Ghost tightened his grip on Owl and launched them both out of the aircraft. The wind was roaring in their ears as they plummeted through the open sky, the world around them a blur of motion and noise. For a split second, Owl‘s mind went completely blank, a void of sheer terror where nothing made sense.

Everything Owl had meticulously memorized about parachuting—the proper body position, the timing, the mechanics—was lost to the wind. The sensation of freefall was nothing like he had imagined; it was a terrifying, disorienting plunge into nothingness.

Ghost remained composed, his movements controlled as he maintained their stability. Ghost shouted something, but Owl couldn‘t register the words, his mind too wrapped up in the visceral fear of the fall. Ghost reached for the ripcord, knowing that Owl was in no state to do it himself, and with a swift tug, the parachute deployed with a jolt.

The sudden deceleration was jarring, and for a moment, Owl felt his stomach lurch as they were yanked upward. The canopy above them billowed open, catching the wind, and their descent slowed to a more manageable pace. But the terror still gripped Owl, his heart pounding in his chest, his hands clenched so tightly that his knuckles were white. The world below was still spinning, the ground rushing up to meet them, and Owl couldn’t shake the feeling that everything was about to go horribly wrong.

Owl could see the ground getting closer, the sense of impending impact driving his anxiety higher. His mind was a swirl of fragmented incoherenr thoughts.

Ghost took control of the landing, guiding them down with practiced precision. Even in the midst of Owl‘s panic, Ghost’s steady hand kept them on course. The landing was as smooth as it could be.

As soon as they touched down, Owl collapsed to his knees, his legs trembling uncontrollably. His heart was still racing, the adrenaline flooding his system making it hard to think, hard to breathe.

Ghost knelt beside him. “Breathe, Owl. It’s over. You’re safe,” he said, his voice steady, but with an edge of concern.

But Owl couldn’t look at him. The embarrassment, the overwhelming sense of failure, weighed heavily on him. He had failed the exercise miserably, and worse, he had let his fear control him. He had always prided himself on his ability to remain calm under pressure, to handle whatever was thrown his way with a clear, analytical mind. But today that illusion had been shattered.

All he could think about was how he had frozen, how the fear had consumed him, how he had needed someone else to push him out of that plane. It wasn’t just a physical failure—it felt like a fundamental failure of who he was supposed to be, of what he was supposed to become.

He wanted to get up, to walk away from this humiliation, but his legs refused to cooperate. He was still rooted to the spot, the world around him spinning slightly as his mind struggled to catch up with everything that had just happened. The adrenaline that had surged through him moments ago was now crashing, leaving him feeling drained, hollow, and utterly lost. The familiar, dark urge to escape—to drown out the terror and shame—crept into his thoughts, insidious and overpowering. He needed something to numb the overwhelming flood of emotions that threatened to pull him under. Alcohol, drugs, anything that could push this horrible feeling out of his mind.

Owl‘s vision tunneled, the edges of his awareness fading into a blur as he became consumed by the single, desperate need to escape, to find a way to make everything stop. He wanted to shut it all out—the fear, the humiliation, the gnawing certainty that he had failed. He felt the icy fingers of dissociation beginning to pull him away from the reality of the situation, the world around him becoming distant, muted, as if he were observing it through a thick pane of glass.

Price‘s voice tried to reached him, muffled and distorted, as if coming from far away. Owl barely registered the words, his mind too clouded to make sense of them. He knew Price was talking to him, likely trying to reassure him or bring him back to the present, but the words were meaningless, lost in the swirling fog that had enveloped him. His body felt heavy, disconnected, as though it belonged to someone else.

He needed to get out of here. Owl couldn’t bear the thought of his team, seeing him like this—broken, weak, unable to handle something as basic as a jump. The shame was too much. But his body wouldn’t respond. His limbs felt like lead, refusing to move no matter how much he willed them to.

The dissociation had taken hold completely now, insulating him from the pain and the fear but leaving him adrift, untethered, and lost. The world was too bright, too loud, too real, and he couldn’t face it—not now, maybe not ever.

Price, Ghost, Soap, and Gaz watched Owl with a mix of concern and uncertainty, their usual confidence shaken by the sight of their teammate in such a state. It was clear to them that Owl was struggling, but none of them truly understood what was happening. The silence that had settled over the group was heavy, punctuated only by the distant sounds of the airfield.

Price exchanged a glance with Ghost, the unspoken question clear: What do we do? This was beyond the realm of their typical training, and they had no reference point for how to handle it. Soap, usually quick with a joke or a reassuring word, stood back, his usual bravado replaced by a deep frown. Even Gaz, always the composed and level-headed one, looked uneasy, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he watched Owl with concern.

The minutes stretched on, and still, Owl didn’t move. He was locked in place, seemingly trapped in his own mind, and it was clear that none of them knew how to reach him. It was as if Owl had shut down completely, his mind retreating from the overwhelming situation in a way that none of them understood.

Then, just as suddenly as the shutdown had begun, Owl blinked, and something shifted. His eyes refocused, though they still held a hint of that distant, unfocused quality. He blinked again, as if waking from a deep sleep, and slowly, mechanically, he began to move. It was almost as if someone had flipped a switch, bringing him back online, but not fully. His movements were stiff, almost robotic, as he pushed himself up from the ground, his legs still shaky but functional.

The team watched in a mix of surprise and confusion as Owl stood up, his eyes scanning the area around him as if trying to reorient himself. There was no sign of the panic or the fear that had gripped him moments before—just a strange, hollow calmness that seemed out of place given what had just happened. It was as if the Owl they knew had retreated behind a wall, leaving only a shadow of himself to go through the motions.

Price was the first to break the silence, his voice cautious. "Owl, you alright?"

Owl turned his head slightly in Price's direction, any it took him a moment before he responded, as though the words had to travel a long way to reach him. "Yeah," he said, his voice flat, devoid of the usual sharpness. "I'm fine."

But it was clear to everyone that Owl was far from fine. He was moving, speaking, but there was something off—something unsettling about the way he carried himself, as if he were on autopilot, disconnected from his own actions. His eyes, though focused, held none of the spark or intelligence they were used to seeing. It was like he was going through the motions of being present, but his mind was still somewhere else.

Gaz frowned, stepping closer as well. "Maybe we should get you checked out by the medic," he suggested.

Owl shook his head, the movement sharp and almost too quick. "No, I'm fine," he repeated, more forcefully this time.

Price watched him carefully, his eyes narrowing slightly as he took in Owl‘s strange behavior. He could see that something wasn’t right, but he also knew that pushing Owl right now might do more harm than good. "Alright," Price finally said, his voice calm and measured. "Let’s get you back to the barracks," he said, his tone leaving no room for argument.

[primaviva]

thoughts on Gwen and smoking🍃?? I have words and thoughts but yours will b better

SPIDERVERSE GWEN AND SMOKING IS NOT IN THE SAME SENTENCE.

i jus included all types of “smokin” to cover every or just most

her dad is a cop and it’s very clear that he raised her by the book on right and wrong, etc. not that smoking is wrong in all cases, but for her she rather not explore that because 1) she doesn’t want to make her dad feel disappointed 2) she doesn’t really want to

she’s a teen so i wouldn’t write no smoking hc even if i thought she did but i caaaan see her experimenting in college but nah i don’t see her to be the type

like im imagining someone tryna convince her in the bathroom to hit they nic and are tellin her the flavor and in the corner like “no, no thank you but that’s very generous!😅☺️” yeah no

COMIC GWEN HOWEVER…..

i don’t see her smokin just for the thrills or sum tho like people to smoke, do edibles, etc just for the sake of doing it

but lowk i can see her doing pot or breathing in nature if you will…..

spider gwen be hella stressed in her comics and she has every right to be like she be getting folded like a omelette on multiple occasions, have crazy psychological things happen to her, just in general like she be goin through it crazy

i don’t see her getting like those legal cards but one day betty saw her stressed out and convinced her to take sum and it actually calmed her down a lot and since then betty lowkey been helping her get some when she gets really stressed out

i don’t see her doing it before her classes or even near her campus she does it when she’s really overwhelmed and she needs to calm herself from her anxieties so she be strictly doin it in her and betty’s apartment cus she does NOT want her dad finding out and is scared of being geeked outta her mind even tho that’s not even how it works

she never does alot or does it too often where she relies on it like it’s more of a personal emergency thing

i can’t see her doin cigarettes like this is mad random but she prolly think it taste like charcoal booty

i also see her doin the smoke blow into her gf mouth but i see this being in a comic gwen dating hcs post so i me thinks imma stop for now…..

[bloodcandied]

Death Addiction 亡瘾 Chapter 1

I found out I was addicted to suicide when I was in middle school.

How did I initially find out?...... Probably because somehow I found my days uninteresting, every day was just going to school and finishing school, doing homework and eating, until suddenly, I became interested in what came after death.

I had once read a report where someone was resuscitated from the brink of death, and he said he saw the other end of the world.

And I couldn't help but wonder what the junction of life and death was really like?

On the surface, I was no different from the average junior high school boy, perhaps just a little less noisy and a little more precocious in the eyes of my elders.

Ah, you're going to say "This guy idolizes Osamu Dazai" again. I don't know if he was an addict like me, but I do know that if you try death once, just once, it's easy to get hooked on the feeling.

--I feel no anxiety, leaving all attachments behind, calmly taking a seat behind the door while the rope tied to the doorknob loops around my neck. I sink my body in peace and quiet, enjoying the suffocation. The rope gradually tightens, and the images in front of me slowly turn pink. Funny isn't it? Its surprising that your vision doesn't turn blood red or blackened, when slowly suffocating, but instead, your vision turns pink.

Some young men like to listen to songs, smoke cigarettes, slide down high slopes on bicycles, skate ...... and I like to enjoy death quietly.

There were times when I almost played it too close though. The rope was tight around my neck and my feet were slipping on the ground with no way to get up. The pink color gradually turned gray and became that "blackness" state - and no, it wasn't pain that followed, but a strange singing sound.

It was the humming sound of a child. The sound was so soft that it sounded like a mosquito's buzz in my ear.

After an unknown amount of time (maybe just a few seconds), a light source like a camera flash lit up twice in the darkness, let me think of a way to express it...... you've all experienced going through a tunnel in a car, haven't you? As the vehicle is about to leave the dimly lit tunnel, the light source of the exit keeps flashing ahead ...... It's that kind of feeling.

If the knot around my neck hadn't loosened itself, I'm afraid I would have been completely immersed in it and wouldn't have woken up.

Please don't misunderstand though. I'm not that maliciously misanthropic, I love this world. Cats, dogs, girls, dads, moms, and clean kitchen windows ...... are all cute things, right?

I simply just like to simulate hanging, putting a plastic bag over my head, and smothering myself in a bathtub ...... These are very controlled, and environmentally non-problematic ways to die. Slitting your wrists or jumping off a building, or even lying down on a railroad track, would not only be harmful to yourself, but would also cause a lot of trouble for others.

In the end, I don't feel that there is anything special about myself.

My name is Dai Xueming, I'm an ordinary student with middle to high grades, I have a quiet personality, and a hobby for experiencing death. I hate noise or violence, I hate TV dramas, I like old movies and old-fashioned makeup beauties....... You see, if you change "experiencing death" into "painting", "classical music", or "basketball", wouldn't this introduction be so boring and normal that it would be disgusting?

--Now I'm going to talk about my troubles.

Death addiction has made my life almost trouble free. No matter how much pressure I encountered to go to school, all I had to do was to enjoy the feeling of death for a few seconds, and that pressure would instantly dissipate. That's why I was in great shape academically and ranked at the top of my high school. It made my parents proud of me.

My dad had a lot of hopes for me, and they were lovely things, too; I liked the way he relied on me and made me out to be a sparkling gem. He wanted me to travel abroad for two months during the summer of my sophomore year, and then, if conditions permitted, to find an opportunity to study abroad.

The only "problems" I had were mainly financial.

In order to subsidize our family's income, we rented out the upper floor of our house. My family bought the upper and lower floors of a downtown apartment building in the early 1990s, and in the end it proved to be a wise investment.

The rent was reasonable, my parents (the landlords) were friendly, and the location was convenient ...... and soon, the tenant, named Xu Tuo, moved in.

Xu Tuo was about twenty-seven or twenty-eight years old, but appeared young and college student-like. He worked for a nearby IT company, was single, and seemed to have a great personality, and my mom soon started inviting him to come down for dinner every day.

The dinner table with Xu Tuo always had a pleasant and gentle atmosphere. He was like a longtime friend of my family, who naturally blended in as easily as water mixes with water. I called him Brother Xu, my parents called him Xiao Xu, and he often helped us fix our computers and install routers.

If I didn't tell anyone that he was a tenant, he looked just like my brother.

At dinner, Dad would turn on the TV and we'd all eat while listening to the news or something. There had been a murder last week, and one the week before that. The methods were brutal and didn't leave many clues.

Seriously, in all the years my family had lived in this district, we'd never heard of anything like this happening in the neighborhood.

My dad opened a can of beer and handed Xu Tuo another, "I only know that there was a murder case in the old town two years ago ...... It's been so scary lately, I feel that I have to drive to pick up Xueming from school, but he thinks it's embarrassing."

"Well, boys this age they don't like to be picked up and dropped off from class by their parents."

"Yeah, well, in that case, boys should be self-reliant." My dad muttered, "It's just that sometimes the school is late and the parents are unsettled."

"--How about I stop by and pick you up, Xueming?" Xu Tuo asked me, "I'm off from work at the company, and it's on the way to you after school."

And that was how things were settled.

If I had a late dismissal from school that day, he would come by and pick me up from school and go home with me. If my classmates asked me who that was, I could say it was my neighbor's older brother.

If I went home with Xu Tuo, I could buy some snacks at the supermarket on the way. We didn't really have anything in common, so when we were together, he asked me how I was studying, what I want to volunteer in, and then he'd mention the employment problems related to that type of volunteering. Xu Tuo clearly had no common topics for me, but he tried.

Problems soon arose, though.

That day at the convenience store, he bought me fried chicken and a Coke. We ate in the convenience store's dining area before heading back so we wouldn't get nagged by my mom.

It was dark outside, and the lights in the store were the brightest source of light in the neighborhood. The residents of this district were in a hurry because of the murders, and there were far fewer people traveling at night.

Xu Tuo lowered his head and handed me the can, and then suddenly said, "Xueming, are you being bullied at school?"

I froze, realizing to the strangulation marks that were on my neck were visible.

"The shirt was too small and the neckline was too tight." I said, giving him the generic answer. It was the same perfunctory excuse I'd been telling my parents all these years. Mom and Dad didn't think much of it; boys grow up fast, and clothes that fit a year ago might not fit today.

I would also try to grow my hair a little longer to hide the strangles under my ears.

"Tell me if you get bullied."

"Why? Do you have a solution?" I laughed, "Like The Yakuza?"

"Adults have adult solutions."

Xu Tuo's gaze was still on my strangulation marks. Then, I heard him say words that sent chills down my back.

"--That's not caused by your shirt collar being too tight." He said softly, "Are you being bullied? Or are you trying to kill yourself?"

I stared at him.

At times like this, one was always tempted to say something trashy as a comeback, such as "It's none of your business," "I pulled it too hard when I put on my shirt," "I hurt myself with a prop when I was rehearsing for the school play. "......

But perhaps it was the displeasure of my secrets being pried into, so I desperately observed everything about him, trying to find points where I could strike back at him instead.

The Xu Tuo in front of me, the IT company programmer, looked younger than his actual age - fair skin, tall and well-proportioned, kind personality, well groomed, and because of his good looks, many old aunts in the neighborhood inquired about his relationship status ......

This was a frustrating discovery, because I realized that what I knew about Xu Tuo, just like me without the "death experience" part of me, seem ordinary and boring.

There had to be something ...... he must have something that I could hold on to. Everyone had their own little black secret, Did he have a disease like hepatitis? Was he a homo? Did he secretly like women's clothes? Maybe he was missing a ball? ......

No one could be that squeaky clean, I knew he must have hidden the most colorful part of himself.

Immediately afterward, I found it though.

"That stain on your collar, is it blood?" I said, "Blood dries quite distinctly on black clothes, and these little stains are clumped together and dark, so I think it's blood. You ......"

Blood on the collar? That could be nosebleeds, coughing up blood, gingivitis, fights ...... I was stuck for a second, not knowing which one to pick. There were two small stains on the collar of his black shirt, so small I couldn't even be sure if they were blood or something else.

With a soft thud, the can in my hand was pressed by him on the table. Xu Tuo smiled at me. It was a peculiar smile, think of a patchwork avatar, where you put smiling eyes and a smiling mouth on a blank face, but you know that it's got a blank base.

"How about we play a game?" He said, "Xueming, let's exchange secrets."

"I don't have any secrets."

"No, you have to play." He said as he took me by the shoulders and led me out of the convenience store with a strength I had no way of breaking, "Your secret should be interesting. Your dad's a cop, and it has to be a secret he can't even find out, I'd be proud of knowing your secret. "

The streets were deserted and I felt nervous. I wasn't sure if I should struggle or yell. He led me through the city park, which was the opposite direction of home.

"The first day I got to your house, I thought you were a very strange child." He whispered, "What do boys that age like? Soccer, basketball, women's boobs, orchestra, physics experiments, playing games, the Fast and Furious series ...... I prepared myself mentally that maybe the landlord's family would have a noisy kid that people like me hate. However you were the complete opposite of what I expected. I don't see your hobbies."

"And what about you? What do you like?"

"We agreed to exchange secrets. You can't ask me to give you my secrets without an equal exchange."

Without realizing it, we had walked a long way and stopped under a bridge underpass. This was the place where the first recent murder case had taken place.

Xu Tuo took me by the shoulders. He was clearly curious about my reaction, "I thought you'd yell and run away. Aren't you afraid?"

"Should I be afraid?"

I asked the question sincerely.

Because of my obsession with death, I was numb to the normal sources of fear in the human world. But it still sounded a bit provocative, and Xu Tuo sighed and led me towards the darkness below the bridge.

At this point, I stopped in my tracks. I felt like I should announce my first secret, just to make this impasse easier. After all, I had an English quiz tomorrow, and I had to go home and catch up on homework and memorize my vocabulary.

"Do you like the feeling of dying?" I asked.

At the sound of the words, Xu Tuo's body in the darkness jerked around and looped something like a thin rope around my neck, tightening it viciously. His technique was quick and skillful, and it all happened in the flash of a few seconds.

To be continued

--------------

[hummingbirdbae]

31 days sober. No alcoholic beverages and no marijuana. I can say I’ve gotten past the manic stage I was experiencing. I am able to slow down. I allowed myself to be bored , to actually sit down and see what feelings or urges arise. With that, there were hellish days of depression and I do not think the depressive episodes are done with me. However, I am confident can handle them a little differently now.

I knew when I started this journey I was going to have hard days , I knew I was going to have to ask for help and I prepared my fiends and family to help me. Surprisingly , most people thought I was being dramatic. My little sister really thought I was bugging out. She didn’t think I had an addiction to anything and definitely not to alcohol. Still, it’s hard to get everyone on the same page , to understand why I knew I needed to stop relying on substances to get through my day. On the surface they saw a version of me that pretends everyone is ok. And like most of us know, the longer you live with a lie the more you believe it about yourself. Sure, nothing bothered me , it was because I numbed myself out and distracted from the true root of my issues. There have been so many time throughout my life and especially in these last 30 days that I didn’t even know how to identify a feeling. It isn’t a wonder that throughout my life I put myself in situations that I didn’t actually like , I did things and went places I had no real connection to. I was hanging around people I really didn’t like. All because I haven’t found the voice within myself to say no. The same went for my dependence on substances. I don’t actually love drinking or smoking. Surely, I hated myself more the next day or the morning after when I had hangovers or felt foggy and passive. I hadn’t found the voice within myself to say I was uncomfortable or disinterested. I’ve had therapists in the past ask me how I felt about particular situations and I really had no answer. That comes from years of carrying shame , years of guilt and from caregivers who didn’t allow me to feel my feelings safely or help me get through the moments of fear and anxiety. I was left to do so much of my own healing. Obviously I had no clue on how to do that. I picked up drinks and drugs and sleeping pills and porn and I further disrespected myself . The walls kept going up higher and higher around me. While I thought that was keeping me safe, I learned I was actually hurting myself and hurting others who really wanted to be in my world.

I thank God for my daughter everyday because as soon as I found out I was pregnant with her my whole life shifted and I knew I needed to be strong for a human that was going to depend on me to thrive in this world. This journey didn’t come without struggles and of course I found myself “back on the wagon “ many times. This time though, I am trying vulnerability as a tool. I gotta say there is a real difference between doing this all alone and thinking I have to remain strong every moment of the process. It’s making a real difference in how I treat myself during the going sober process.

Although my tribe may not fully understand, they are however still here and I feel supported.

I know there’s someone out there going to read this and relate, I offer myself as part of your tribe. You’re not alone and I promise your vulnerability will make such a difference in your healing. Let your guard down and stop living for the validation of the internet or people who are still lying to themselves about who they are.

[creepypastalover97]

Ok time for another creepypasta au headcannon

Today’s headcannon is going to be about everyone’s favorite link rip-off

Enjoy

. The correct way of spelling his name is BEN_drowned. But his Real name is Benjamin Lawman

. BEN was born on April 23rd 1990, and he died on September 7th 2002

. He’s pale and in the body of a boy around 12. But Mentally he’s much older, and would have been 32 years old if he hadn't died.

. In a weird way he’s happy he died. he didn’t have to be apart of the cruel world today. Ben’s disgusted with modern people

“Why does someone’s sexuality matter when the earth’s fucking melting?

Why is racism a thing it was all hundreds of years ago calm the fuck down people!”- Ben

. The only thing he appreciates is modern technology. Games, consoles and chatrooms keep him busy and happy. He’ll often make staged accounts on sites and just talk to people, be there for him

. ben’s addicted too bitcoin he thinks its the future of the world. doesn’t care if he’s fuckin dead

he’s considered communism

.Was deathly afraid of water like Finn in Adventure Time. Strictly takes showers and doesn’t go swimming

. BEN doesn’t give a single fuck about his gender. This was discovered by Jeff a day after BEN arrived at the mansion. Jeff, being the rude ass motherfucker he is, decided to try and make fun of BEN by calling him “a pretty girl”. he was so fucking shook when BEN just answered with

“Thanks I appreciate it”- BEN

EJ, who was sitting in the kitchen like he always is, fucking lost it

. BEN was once dared to dress up as a female, like a dress and hair up

He did it without hesitation

Everyone who was attracted to girls regretted it immediately after seeing him

. Bisexual asf but leans more towards girls

. He can do voice acting and like, really good impersonations. He once hid in the vents and started laughing in a perfect Freddy Fazbear imitation and later he started speaking in Baby’s voice and gave half the mansion a heart attack

. he secretly has a Tik Tok account where he pretends to be a ”””gamergirl”””

He’s famous

. He smokes weed when he starts glitching out really bad to calm down his nerves. He relies on weed to calm him down if he finds himself getting anxiety or feeling depressed to keep himself from glitching out horribly.

. Hardcore Gamer. will demolish anyone in any game ever. Jeff thought he could beat him at dance party because he’s so lazy but oh was he wrong

. Referencing the C-D-I Zelda games in his prescence will cause BEN to go into a homicidal rage.

. Often goes to arcades to fuck with people and occasionally cheat.

. Is so fucking good at Laser Tag - he’ll no scope everyone without breaking a sweat

. Very glitchy pervy boy. Has gone to sex shops only to “accidentally” make all the display vibrators lose their shit just for kicks, and has smacked almost every Pasta in the mansion with an oversized rubber dildo

. Doesn’t cut his hair. (The girl pastas like styling his hair)

. Sees Sally as a little sister

. Ben cannot physically cook. He’s the Meliodas of cooking. It looks great but tastes really bad. He’s more worried about presentation over taste. He knows that Chef Ramsey would kill him too for how bad he cooks.

. His ears twitch when ever he’s focused or nervous. (Especially when he’s lying)

. ben’s gotta sleep with pads on his face so he doesn’t fuck up his sheets

. Although Ben is pretty colorful as a person, when he’s upset and/or angry, everything on him goes monochrome

. When he gets sick, he glitches horribly when he sneezes

. Glitches really bad when he’s physically upset

. If BEN laughs hard enough he will cough up a ton of water that's in this lungs from when he drowned

. Prefer’s to levitate everywhere, he walks only when he’s super energetic (which is never)

. actually has no fucking idea what he is, it’s like

“Hey BEN what exactly are you?”- Circe

“a ghost???? Wait,,, a hylian. A…. human?? Idfk”- BEN

the ultimate meme lord. Actually funny which in itself is kinda scary

“So here’s the tea”- BEN

“ for the last time, it’s called a mission report “-slenderman

“ do you want to hear the tea or not?”- BEN

“Hmpff”-Circe

. Ben is fluent in Chinese.

. His diet consist of energy drinks and instant noodles

. He hates a lot of fruits for some reason. He's not unhealthy, he just never eats fruit

. Has a habit of chewing on electric cords.

. Jokingly simps for Jeff as a joke, because he likes Jeff’s reactions.

. He adores the Fnaf series and knows the lore.

. he actually goes outside sometimes???

“Oooh!! Look at the sun, it’s so circular! So warm! And bright.” - BEN, leaving his room for the first time in three weeks

“…………”- BEN

[Takes a 180 and goes back inside to hibernate]

. BEN can only climb into devices that are plugged in, sure if you charge your phone he can get in but if you unplug it his only way to get out is to either wait or climb through the screen.

. He also thinks Basil is pathetic.

He hates Basil.

. Ben doesn't like musicals, Hamilton is the ONLY exception

. he’s so laid back that everyone forgets his manipulative and sadistic nature

“BEN that’s inappropriate clothing go change”- slenderman

“I’m inappropriately dressed to live anyway bitch why would I”- BEN

. he has so much stuffed animals, pillows and blankets god couldn’t. he’s too emotionally unstable to actually cuddle anyone so he replaces human contact with fluffy pillows and blankets

. Won’t stop quoting vines to the point where it’s annoying

. Makes “cringe” prank videos when bored

. is actually really good at hiding his emotions, no one really knows what he’s truly like. Or so he thinks

“BEN, are you alright?”- Circe

“Yeah, why?”- BEN

“Because you asked the lady in the store if the damage repair shampoo works on emotions too.”- Circe

. He likes to hack into the SCP Foundation’s private computers and spam them with outdated memes and 24 hour long loops of the “song of unhealing”.

. Often hacks everyone’s phones and switching Siri with himself. Then the pastas freak the fuck out when they find out it’s him. Jeff hates this the most.

“ Siri, connect redtube to start bar”- jeff

“ oh?, does jeffy boy have a nasty watch history? Wow, buddy you have more kinks than Masky, damn”-BEN

“ how would you know?”- jeff

“…….”-BEN

“……”-jeff

“Get out of my phone”- jeff

. inhumanly flexible. Anyone who enters his room debates on wether or not to call an exorcist.

. Actually is really fucking smart but likes having people underestimate him so he can purposely destroy their ego

. Short boy that will chop down legs if anyone makes fun of his height

“What are you, three?”- BEN

“Yeah, three heads taller than you.”- jeff

“………………”- BEN

Ten minutes later

“OPEN THE DOOR YOU FUCKING COWARD!”- BEN, banging on Jeff’s door

“I WAS JUST JOKING!”- jeff

Overall BEN_drowned is no doubt actually a very nice and understanding guy (apart from, well, killing)

I hope you enjoyed

P.s. not everything is canon. So don’t take seriously if you don’t want to. If you don’t like, take it somewhere else. Thank you

Bye 👋🏻

P.s.s. Go check out Circe’s origin story on archive of our own. It’s called rabbits are not what they seen.

[longpahern]

Smoking And Its Harmful Effects

Newport's, Winston's, Salem's, Marlboro Lights Do not matter what the kind is Trigger you got me smoking out on you Got me puffin' 'bout a pack a night And I comprehend it ain't healthy -- "Smoking Cigarettes" by Tweet Like the expression from the tune "Smoking Cigarettes" by Tweet, cigarette smoking isn't fantastic for one's body. Particularly if you've been smoking a pack a day, and for a prolonged time period. What is the total level of the effects of smoking on your body? The outcomes of smoking varies from specific to specific as it will rely on the person's vulnerability to the chemical in cigarette or tobacco smoke. It will also rely on the range of cigarette sticks a private smokes every day, the age when the specific at first started to smoke, and the range of years the person has really been smoking cigarettes. According to existing research study studies, every year various many people all over the world die from medical issues activated by cigarette smoking. Aside from the odor it leaves on one's hair, breath, and clothes, it also has other concerns. Here are a few of the different outcomes of cigarette smoking: lImmediate effects upon smoking a cigarette stick: Raises a person's hypertension and heart rate. Decreases a person's blood flow to body extremities like the fingers and toes. The nerve and the brain system is promoted for a short time and after that decreased. Lightheadedness. Queasiness. Watery eyes. Hyperacidity. Harmed taste and smell. Anorexia. lOther effects: Shortness of breath. Consistent coughing Reduced overall physical conditioning. Yellow-colored stain on the cigarette smoker's fingers and teeth. Cigarette cigarette smokers experience more coughs and colds as compared to non-smokers. Difficulty recovering from little illness. Impotence for guys, infertility for women. Facial wrinkles appear at an early age, making them look older than non-smokers of the extremely exact same age. Given that they experience these different unfavorable results, they have a higher threat of developing health problem like: lrespiratory system infections (like pneumonia and consistent bronchitis). lemphysema (collapse of the little airway in the lungs). lheart attack and other coronary health problem. ldifferent kind of cancers (lungs, throat, mouth, bladder, kidney, cervix, stomach, and pancreas). lstomach ulcers. lperipheral vascular disease due to a minimized blood flow to the legs. When a specific wind up being addicted to cigarettes, they may find themselves experiencing numerous withdrawal indications when they select to stop. These withdrawal indications include:. lincreased anxiety and tension. lagitation. lloss of concentration. lchange in sleep patterns. lheadaches. lcoughs. lstrong yearnings. For pregnant women, it is vital to comprehend that the growing kid in their womb may suffer if they continue smoking. The outcomes of cigarette smoking to a growing fetus include: low birth weight, early birth, or stillbirth. Smoking may make a specific look macho or cool, nevertheless you need to consider more than just how it would make you look. Smoking cigarettes has harmful outcomes that can wind up stating your life. Before you brighten your next cigarette, think about the various destructive effects of cigarette smoking and if you 'd want that to occur to you. Like the expression from the tune "Smoking Cigarettes" by Tweet, smoking isn't fantastic for one's body. What is the total level of the outcomes of smoking on your body? The effects of cigarette smoking to a growing fetus include: low birth weight, early birth, or stillbirth. Smoking cigarettes has dangerous outcomes that can wind up stating your life. Before you illuminate your next cigarette, think of the various harmful effects of smoking and if you 'd prefer that to strike you. Like the expression from the tune "Smoking Cigarettes" by Tweet, cigarette smoking cigarettes isn't excellent for one's body. According to present research study studies, every year various many people all over the world pass away from medical issues activated by cigarette smoking cigarettes. Cigarette cigarette smoking may make a specific look macho or cool, nevertheless you need to believe about more than merely how it would make you look. Before you brighten your next cigarette, think about the many destructive effects of cigarette smoking cigarettes and if you 'd prefer that to take location to you. Before you light up your next cigarette, think of the various destructive effects of cigarette smoking cigarettes and if you 'd want that to happen to you.

https://click4information.com/lifestyle/smoking-and-its-harmful-effects-2/

[hoshi-kawaii]

So apparently, my air bnb doesn't allow any smoking on the property, even outside. 😭 they specified weed and ecigs so like I can't even use a vape cart? Wtf? They have cameras set up "for security" so it's not like I can smoke outside without them knowing.

This makes my anxiety for vacation go through the roof. I'm gonna need to rely on Edibles but it's gonna be so fucking hard to not be able to wake and bake for vacation activities.

Like I was able to get through a vacation in at a resort in mexico using just mmj capsules, but that was because I had no major events to go to. Everything was in walking distance on the resort and all I had to do every day was make it to dinner. I went in a pool a handful of times.

I spent so much time sleeping to keep up with just going out to dinner.

I am going to need a lot of weed to get through an active vacation in LA.

I might bring a dry herb vape and smoke out the window for a wake and bake. I feel like that would be most effective and smell the least. I just dont see how I can get through this vacation without it.

I don't have any idea how to dose out Edibles by mg because I make them at home with recycled resin. And they suck at maintaining a high through a whole day because of how they take at least an hour to kick in and have issues with piggy backing etc.

Idk how they think they can tell people used carts and ecigs inside without a camera? If you air it out properly, the smell doesn't linger.

I can of course use carts when I'm out and about and I can smoke at my sister's place without issues (her husband is an OG Cali stoner). But that's a 20 minute drive from the airbnb so it's not like I can go there and smoke before everything we do.

For starters I have to take dramamine 1hr before I go anywhere or I will get car sick. So the ideal would be to take that then smoke so when the hour is up I'm ready to go.

There is no way I can survive 1hour then a 20 minute drive every morning just to smoke while on vacation.

I need that shit in me asap so I can get myself ready. I'm pretty much a corpse before I get weed in me, especially on vacation.

It just sucks that sick and disabled people get the short stick everywhere they go. I'm gonna have to buy a shower chair to use for that 1 week because there is no way I'm gonna be able to stand in the shower. I'm probably just gonna leave it there so they can have it for other disabled people. (Even though they don't have a removable shower head, which makes things harder.)

It sucks because this airbnb listing is ground level with no stairs, perfect for disabled people, but has no amenities for the disabled.

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[drmitalisoni]

5 Self-Care Practices for Better Mental Health

Mental health is an important part of overall wellbeing and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. Self-care practices are one of the best ways to improve mental health and keep it in check. Here are five self-care practices that can help you maintain better mental health:

1) Exercise Regularly: Physical activity has been proven to reduce stress, anxiety, depression, and other negative emotions while improving moods. Even just a few minutes per day can make a big difference in your overall mental well being so try to incorporate some physical activity into your daily routine!

2) Take Time for Yourself: Taking time out for yourself every day is essential for maintaining good mental health as it allows you to relax and recharge from all the stresses of life. Whether it's taking a walk or doing some yoga – give yourself permission each day to do something that brings joy into your life!

Also Read: OCD Treatment in Bhopal

3) Eat Healthy Foods & Avoid Unhealthy Habits: Eating healthy foods such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, etc., helps provide the energy needed throughout the day while avoiding unhealthy habits like smoking or drinking alcohol prevents further damage to our bodies which ultimately affect our minds too! So make sure you’re eating right and staying away from bad habits if possible.

4) Connect with Loved Ones: Having strong relationships with friends/family not only improves social skills but also increases feelings of happiness which is key when dealing with any kind of emotional issue including depression or anxiety disorders. Make sure you take time out each week (or even more often!) To connect with loved ones whether it's through phone calls, video chats, text messages, etc. It will definitely help lift up your spirits! 

5) Seek Professional Help When Needed: Mental illness should never be ignored & seeking professional help such as talking therapy sessions/medication prescribed by psychiatrists in Bhopal (if located there), could prove beneficial depending on individual needs. Don't hesitate to reach out if feeling overwhelmed by emotions - remember there's always someone willing & able to listen!

About the Author:

For top-notch psychiatric care in Bhopal, turn to Dr. Mitali Soni Loya. With a wealth of experience and a commitment to mental health, Dr. Loya offers compassionate and comprehensive treatment for various psychiatric conditions. Her expertise covers a wide range of mental health concerns, and she is dedicated to helping individuals lead happier and healthier lives. When seeking the services of a trusted psychiatrist in Bhopal, Dr. Mitali Soni Loya is the name you can rely on for personalized care and professional guidance. Don't hesitate to reach out for the support you need.