#ik nobody read this far but i feel the need to say it. this is not the kind of person i want to be online | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

psyduckappears · 1 year

Note

Homesickness for stoncy? PLS ik you've written the last two prompts for it, so im sorry if you get sick of writing stoncy 😭😭

read it on ao3

no but honestly i don't think that getting sick of these three idiots is even possible!!! this was such a blast and also this got away from me again so BADLY ..... hope you like it :)

It's a twist-of-fate kind of coincidence, how it all comes together.

After Vecna, after another brush with death, and world-death, and all-encompassing devastation, Hawkins goes back to normal.

Small-town people are a species beyond comprehension – a tight-knit family that will stab each other in the back at the first opportunity but hold your hand through the next crisis as though nothing happened, a steaming casserole or a rich, sweet pie ready to end all your worries – a community of shared knowledge and shared identity that doesn’t welcome difference but values togetherness over honesty; it’s alright to be different as long as we don’t acknowledge it – a microcosm of shared-experience who will help each other through their trauma as long as nobody calls it trauma.

Hawkins goes back to town-festivals in the summer and caring too much about high school basketball games and exchanging gossip on Main Street when you’ve just run into your neighbor after checking off the last of your grocery list.

The kids go back to school. Robin, Nancy, and Jonathan graduate high school and, only a blink of an eye later, move away for college. Joyce finds a new job, one that pays marginally better than the one at Melvald’s, when one of the school’s secretaries retires. She has more than enough experience making phone calls thanks to that awful telemarketing gig, and nobody doubts that she’ll be able to manage any parent that might try to cause trouble just fine. Even Hopper goes back to his small-town Chief job, now sharing households with Joyce, and together neither of them need to pull as many hours as they did before.

Steve is … well, Steve is Steve. Does he spend too much of his time off work alone at home, watching on the news as the world at large goes to ruins around him that from this rural exile stay distant silhouettes on the horizon? Absolutely. Does he feel a little left behind, here in Hawkins, while the others have left him for the wide, wide world, where life happens every day, right before your eyes? Sure. Sure, he does, but it’s more than that.

He misses Robin, who moved to Boston with Nancy. They promised each other he’d follow her there as soon as he has some money saved and an eye on a job, but so far, it’s all felt a little hopeless. Besides, he doesn’t think he’s quite ready to leave Hawkins, yet, despite everything. After everything over the past couple of years, he probably should be running without a single look over his shoulder, but the thought of leaving still makes him uneasy, invokes this violent urge to radio Dustin, or El, or any of the kids just to see that everything is still looking calm. It’s hard to trust the peace.

Robin, the absolute saint that she is, understands. He thinks they all do, to some extent, even the ones of them who’ve left and sworn up and down they wouldn’t miss the place in the least.

He misses Nancy, too, who he’d just started getting closer to again after Vecna, and Jonathan, who he’d just started to really get to know before they moved away, leaving him behind, too.

So yeah, again, he does feel left behind, and he wants to be out there, but sometimes he thinks in the privacy of his own mind that he feels homesick, and it’s more like … he misses the home Hawkins used to be, before. When they were all still here, and when another apocalypse wasn’t fresh behind them all, and even (though he’d never say it to anyone) those moments facing down hell, where at least it felt like his lacking prospects for a meaningful future wouldn’t matter for much longer. Who cares if you ever got into college when you’re already dead?

He misses, most of all, a time where he wasn’t always looking over his shoulder, not always checking if all his ducks are still in a row, are still alive. He misses sleep without dreams where people he loves die like it means nothing, alive one second, gone the next. He misses a town where every shadow doesn’t feel like a warning, and he longs for a place where everything isn’t predictable, even the crises. Maybe, he thinks, he just misses somewhere he’s never been.

Nancy fills her time between classes with extracurriculars until she doesn’t have time to miss anyone, or at least that’s what she tells herself even while she’s already realizing that it doesn’t work. She joins the campus paper, a group of girls who run together twice a week, and a progressive feminist student organization that Robin invites her along to, but she still feels her fingers itch for her car keys all the time, ready to drive to New York, to Hawkins. It helps to know that Jonathan is the same way.

They schedule phone calls whenever neither of them has class or anything else – mostly when Robin does have class or something else, not because they desperately need the privacy but because she spends most of her time and the money she doesn’t need for rent to call Steve.

Sometimes, when Nancy comes home during one of those calls, Robin will grin and greet her and force the phone into her hand. Nancy kind of loves her for it, if she’s honest, and Robin’s expression says that she knows it even without her saying it.

Calls with Steve always make her smile too wide, and more often than not, she holds him up for way too long, trading news from college and stories about Robin for anything going on back in Hawkins, the more mundane the better. He always has something good about her brother and his friends, at the very least, something light that will make her laugh and that Mike would never tell her himself.

She also learns, this way, that he and Jonathan talk on the phone sometimes, too. It’s usually when Jonathan gets anxious about being so far from home, and he doesn’t really trust Will or his mom to tell him if anything was up because they know he’d be right on his way back home. Nancy can’t say she blames him, and she’s grateful, really, that Steve can do that for Jonathan, now. Be a link back home to take off the edge. Be a friend at all, after all their history. It’s just that it makes her miss them both so much more.

They go home for Christmas, but it’s just a few days before they have to head back to study for some upcoming exams, and they spend the holidays with their families. Only Robin begs off most of the time before and after Christmas dinner to spend with Steve, and then they’re gone again, after just barely a glimpse of the other two.

Calls and calls and calls pass between the three of them, and suddenly it’s a Friday night in early spring, just about 10pm, and Nancy can’t stand it anymore. She calls Jonathan.

“If I leave now, I can pick you up in about four hours,” is what she opens with. She’s met with a few seconds of silence.

“My roommates are out,” Jonathan finally replies. “You can ring the doorbell. I’ll sleep until then and take over.”

Smiling to herself, she starts a pot of coffee. He always knows exactly what she’s thinking. “Power nap halfway there.”

“One or two hours. Maybe near Pittsburgh.”

“We’ll be in Hawkins by afternoon. You have class on Monday?”

“Nothing I can’t skip this one time. I feel like we won’t want to haul ass back to campus after just one night.”

Jonathan is already awake again when Nancy rings the bell, an overnight bag, leftover pasta, and a thermos of coffee ready to go. At 2am, even the city that never sleeps has that eerie quality to it, though it isn’t really silent. Especially not on a Friday night. Still … even though he thinks it’s comforting, in a way, the thought of Nancy standing out in front of his door in the middle of the night, entirely unprotected, has him rushing down the stairs. He doesn’t exactly live in a nice part of town, and judging from past experience, even that can’t save you, sometimes.

“Hi.” Nancy grins when he bursts out the door, the momentum from the stairs still in him as he pushes against the door a little more forcefully than necessary.

Nancy looks tired but happy, messy but beautiful. She looks like she was already halfway to bed when she called him and barely took the time to get dressed before hopping into her car; hair tied up hazardously, sweatpants that he’s pretty sure are his tied fastened with a tight knot so they won’t slip from her waist and looking oddly discordant with her street shoes, and a sweater that is frayed at the sleeves from where she worries them while studying.

He kisses her hello, met with something hi, there you are, and I missed you, too, and then she barely leaves him the time to catch his breath before she’s dragging him back to the car.

There’s a laugh on his lips when he takes the keys from her and slips into the driver’s seat.

“Alright, Jitterbug, how much coffee have you had on your way here?” he asks as they start down the street. They should always leave in the middle of the night, he thinks; the traffic is way less awful at this time.

“Oh my god,” Nancy says, already digging through his backpack for one of the tapes he – predictably, apparently – brought. “Did you just make a Wham! reference?”

He gasps, only half-pretending to be offended. “You know exactly that I wasn’t –“

“I need to tell Steve.” She’s giggling, now, which is definitely a sign that she should probably get those few hours of sleep in, soon. Drunk Nancy has never been a fun time, but sleepy Nancy? She’s a blast. She loves everyone, and she thinks everything is hilarious, and Jonathan loves her, but he really needs to focus on getting them out of the city and onto the right interstate. “I swear, Jonathan, the first thing I will tell him when we see Steve is that you, Jonathan Byers, made a Wham! reference after being all high and mighty when you found out he listened to them.”

“You know they – you know they didn’t invent the word ‘jitterbug’, right?”

Nancy just keeps laughing at him until he knocks her over a little at the shoulder, which has her grin over at him tiredly. He feels unfathomably fond, but he just gives her a roll of his eyes, gluing his eyes back to the road in front of him.

“Take a nap,” he tells her. “I’ll wake you up when it’s time to take a break.”

“You mean you’ll wake me up before you go-go,” she grins, but she dodges his swatting hand and closes her eyes, resting her head against the window.

The drive isn’t half bad, even though the sentimental part of him wishes they were driving east so he could watch the sun come up. This way, the further they get into the morning hours, his gaze keeps slipping to the rearview mirror, not wanting to miss it.

He drives, drives, stops for gas, stretches his legs, and keeps driving. Before he knows it, Nancy wakes on her own, and they’re well past Pittsburgh. In fact, they’re almost at Zanesville, and it’s nearing ten in the morning.

When Nancy realizes this, she gasps and smacks his shoulder several times. “Jonathan!”

“What?”

“You’ve been driving almost eight hours.”

“I wasn’t tired,” he defends, even though he knows it’s still not exactly reasonable. He’s had, what, three and a half hours of sleep? She gives him a look, like god, why do I love this idiot, and it makes him grin sheepishly in a way that makes them both think of Steve, somehow.

Which makes sense because he swears, Steve makes him a little bit stupid.

He will not examine this fact right now, though.

“At the next stop, we’re switching,” she tells him, glaring a little. He can tell she’s reluctantly well-rested, though, and they both know she is much happier about it than she will ever admit when she says, “I guess at least now we can skip that power nap, get there a little earlier. I need to … walk around a bit first, though. My bones feel like I’ve been stuffed into a moving box for two days.”

Rather than agreeing, Jonathan just cracks his stiff neck, laughing when the sound makes her crinkle her nose in disgust. He needs a stretch, too, he really does; his gas foot feels like he’s been flexing it for hours, and he’s pretty sure his ass has fallen asleep. He can’t feel the right half, anymore, and it’s decidedly not a pleasant experience.

“Also, we’re getting breakfast. Gas station food sucks, but I am starving.”

“There’s a box of pasta salad in my backpack,” he offers, even though pasta salad is really just a fancy way of referring to yesterday’s cold lunch. “Knock yourself out. I had some before we left, so I’ll probably just get a donut, or something.”

“You ate pasta salad at two in the morning?” Nancy asks, scandalized as if they haven’t done the same thing with leftover pizza after sharing his last bit of pot or staying up too long studying and … studying. He raises his eyebrow at her, and her judgmental expression melts into a knowing quirk of her lip, an admission of complicity. She starts looking for the box, then, and calls him an idiot for forgetting to bring a fork.

She eats it with her free hand instead of waiting to see if they’d have any at the rest stop, and he falls a little bit more in love with her when she drops a bit of pasta, it falls right into her hoodie, and she begins laughing so hard that she almost chokes.

Robin starts calling at seven and manages to shake Steve out of bed by eight, when he stumbles to the phone with a big yawn and a world of annoyance.

“’lo?” he mutters into the phone, the absolute most anyone could expect of him at this ungodly hour on a Saturday.

“Steve! God, finally –“

“Robin, what the fuck?” He keeps the phone by his ear and drags the chord to the kitchen, where he turns on the coffee maker. “Why are you calling me at –“

“It’s Nancy,” she interrupts him, and only then does he recognize that tone in her voice. It isn’t angry Robin, or excited Robin, even though both sound just as frantic as she does now. It’s terrified Robin. And she’s scared because of Nancy.

He stills.

“What? What do you mean –“

“She’s – not here! I was out late last night, I don’t know if she was still here then because I figured she was in bed, and you know she always has to park super far away from the building, but this morning I realized her keys were gone, and so were her shoes, and she doesn’t have class or any of her other stuff today because she has this big paper due next Thursday, and she cancelled all her clubs and shit for that.”

“I – Robin,” he interrupts, trying to be calm, even though it feels counterintuitive. “Don’t you think she could have just … gone out? To … to the library, or to go shopping, or …?”

“She never takes the car for that. She only uses it when she’s leaving the city.”

“So maybe she went to see Jonathan.”

“I tried calling him. His roommate says he hasn’t seen him, but he ‘took all the food’, which is probably an overstatement, knowing that guy, but – anyway, Jonathan is also gone. I just – I don’t have a good feeling about this, Steve.”

The truth is, neither does Steve. Steve is, in fact, freaking the hell out as he’s standing there in his kitchen, not at all tired, anymore. He tries grasping for logic, that they might have just … gotten together to have a picnic, or something, but …

But suddenly it occurs to him that while he’s been hesitating to leave Hawkins unprotected, he’s been doing the exact same thing to them.

“She didn’t leave a note? Anything to say where she’s going?” Robin’s silence speaks volumes, and Steve feels the dread growing like a shadow in him, looming and dark, always behind him.

Nancy wouldn’t just disappear without telling anyone. Neither would Jonathan. Not after everything that’s happened. He takes the little bit of coffee the machine has produced from the pot and mentally starts looking for his car keys. “I’m coming over there.”

He makes decent progress, despite the little bit of morning traffic that actually affects Hawkins, but breaking every speed limit he can get away with costs gas, and he has to stop a little over half an hour outside of Columbus to fill up the tank. He uses the payphone outside to call Robin to see if there have been any news, but now she isn’t answering, and he feels himself panic even more.

Maybe she’s just in the bathroom, or something, he tells himself. He should call again in a few minutes, maybe get something to eat in the meantime. He hasn’t eaten at all since last night.

His mind switching between Boston and New York, he walks back inside, finding a couple of things he normally enjoys in the snack aisle. He doesn’t feel particularly hungry, but he still goes through the motions of picking them out, swiping his card at the register, and lodging them under his arm to carry back to the car.

When he turns away from the cashier, he bumps into the guy behind him and drops all of it.

“Shit, sorry,” he mutters, already crouching down to pick up his good. He feels like he should get a pass for being clumsy under the circumstances, but it’s not like this guy knows that, and –

“Steve?” the guy says, having joined him on the ground to help him out, and when Steve’s head snaps up, yeah, sure thing, that’s Jonathan Byers right there in front of him. Steve almost thinks he’s hallucinating, but he doesn’t think he’s imaginative enough to come up with such an accurate image of that perplexed expression.

He drops everything he’s picked up right back down again and squishes Jonathan into a hug that probably surprises Steve himself just as much as it does Jonathan.

“Uh, hi?” Jonathan’s voice is muffled against the fabric of Steve’s sweater, but he’s slowly reciprocating the hug, so it’s fine. It’s fine. It’s Jonathan. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I – oh god, is Nancy with you? Please tell me she’s –“

“Yeah, yeah, she’s outside,” Jonathan says, and then he’s pulling away, aiming a worried frown at Steve. “What’s wrong?”

“What are you doing here?” Steve exclaims, then, jumping up from the ground and realizing they’re still right in front of the register, right in the middle of that gas station. At least it’s not a popular one; their only audience is the guy who just rang Steve up a minute ago, and he looks like his job has long bored him to death, and he is now just a corpse with a mysteriously acquired ability to stand more or less upright.

“We’re – we wanted to see you.” The way it comes out is an almost indignant kind of stammer, but clearly embarrassed. Jonathan is looking at Steve but only kind of, and Steve can’t remember when he stood up, even less so when he crossed his arms over his chest so defensively.

Steve would tease him about it if he wasn’t so busy staring at him, open-mouthed, confused, and a little bit angry in the wake of the whole scare. And then there’s that other feeling, the one he’s gotten so incredibly good at ignoring.

Steve seems to be taking too long to reply because eventually, Jonathan goes back to stammering. Which is weird because Jonathan has never, ever been bad at silences.

“It’s just – Nancy called last night, and it was kind of insane because I was just hanging out at the apartment and being kind of miserable about how much I missed her and how … long it’d been since I’d seen you, and then she called and said we should drive back to Hawkins because apparently she was the same way, so …“

“So you just … took off in the middle of the night to – visit me?”

If Steve thought Jonathan looked embarrassed before, he doesn’t know what to call this. He only knows he’s never seen him this red in the face.

“I guess…”

It’s then that they’re interrupted, again not by a new customer but by Nancy, this time. She’s got her wallet out, is looking for something in it, and speaking as she walks into the gas station.

“Are you having trouble with your card again?” she asks, probably because she’s been wondering why on earth Jonathan has been taking so long to pay for their gas. “I keep telling you, you need to call the bank to get you a new one, this is getting – Steve?”

And, okay, so Steve already knew that she was fine, Jonathan already told him, more or less, what’s going on, but he swears, Nancy is still the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen in his entire life right then. He barely knows what to say, and then Nancy helps him out.

“What are you doing here?” she asks, and only then does it occur to him that he never answered Jonathan when he asked him this a minute ago.

Priorities need to be set, though. Rather than answer her question, he does the same thing he did with Jonathan and pulls her into a big, extended hug. She goes a lot more willingly than Jonathan, even though she still seems beyond confused, and even when she pulls back, she leaves her arms around him.

“I – Robin called me,” he finally says, and he can watch every muscle in her face transform from pleasant surprise into some kind of horror.

“Shit,” she says. “Oh god, I – I didn’t leave a note!”

He snorts at that. “Yeah, no shit. You know how scared we’ve been?” He looks over his shoulder at Jonathan, who’s wearing a similar expression. “How is it both of you just decided to disappear without telling a single soul where on earth you’re going?”

“Shit, she didn’t call my mom, did she?”

Steve shakes his head, even though that’s really not what he wants to talk about, right now. “I radioed Will to check if he knew anything and told him not to tell her until I called. But he’s definitely going to be pissed when he finds out about this. Actually, so am I – what were you thinking? What if something had happened to you, and nobody would have known where to even start looking?”

Nancy’s hands around him land on his shoulders, then, squeezing reassuringly just like she used to do, eons ago. He wants to keep catastrophizing, but she stops his last resolve with a small smile. “I’m sorry. We didn’t mean to worry anyone, really. We just … really wanted to see you.”

And really, who could expect Steve to be mad about that? When they keep saying it like that? Part of him wants to resent the easy way Nancy’s echo of Jonathan’s words melts him into something warm and far more relaxed than he’s felt since he woke up this morning, but even that he can’t really hold onto.

“Well, it’s still stupid,” he mutters petulantly, but he pulls her back into another quick hug and lets go feeling a lot less wound up. “I’m gonna go back outside and call Robin.”

Jonathan finds him outside a minute later with Steve’s forgotten snack haul piled up in his arms, leaning against the wall as Steve talks to Robin.

“I know, they’re idiots,” he says, pointedly, which gets him one of those funny little Jonathan-smiles that make him feel all mushy and stupid. Considering the fact that they just nearly caused some sort of national search because they wanted to see him, he lets himself feel the mush for once and grins back. “But they’re really, really sorry and will totally make it up to us.”

“Did they say that or is it just wishful thinking?” Robin asks, but she sounds a hundred times better than when they last spoke, so it’s alright.

“They may not have said it in words, but it’s not like this doesn’t give us a lot of leverage. Anyway, apparently, I’m so incredibly awesome that they both just hadto up and –”

“Oh, hi, Robin,” Jonathan cuts in, snatching the phone from Steve. “Yeah, we’re really sorry about all this. It was pretty late, and it was kind of, uh, an impulsive thing. So we weren’t thinking straight. We didn’t mean to worry anyone, really.”

Steve watches him talk, even though he can’t hear Robin’s replies anymore. He can fill in her parts in his head, more or less accurately, but he doesn’t know what she says to make Jonathan go all pink in the face again.

Finally, Nancy joins them and demands her turn, by which time Steve has to put the third quarter into the phone’s coin slot. She talks to Robin for a little while, apologizing yet again for the scare and promising she’ll bring her back a truck’s load of those knock-off Heath bars she insists are so much better than the real deal, and Steve opens a bag of cookies while they wait for her to finish, offering one to Jonathan.

When Nancy hangs up the phone, all three of them stand silently by the phone for a minute, hovering around the inevitable what now.

“So…” Steve eventually breaks into the quiet.

“So?” Nancy echoes, something amused but not fully self-assured in her smile. Jonathan, beside her, suddenly looks even more nervous, so Steve gives both of them what he hopes is a somewhat reassuring grin.

“You two have any plans tonight?”

They end up at Steve’s place, on account of Nancy and Jonathan both being worried that if their families know they’re in town, they’ll ‘monopolize all of their time again’.

Steve has to stop himself from smiling when Nancy says that. She still blushes a little.

“I mean, I love them! And I miss them, and all that, but – we didn’t really get to see you when we were here for the holidays.”

“You know, Robin said you had some big paper due,” Steve says, looking between the two people on his couch. “Cleared your schedule for it and all. Not that I’m complaining, but – you know. You’re you.”

Miraculously, this makes her blush even more. After some prodding, she admits that she finished it all up yesterday in a productive streak, and that she might have wildly overestimated the amount of work it would be, which honestly sounds about right. He always knew she would continue overkilling it in college the same way she did in high school.

“Oh, so you only came here because you didn’t have anything better to do,” he sniffs, anyways, and she swats at him but still has to smile at the overstated pout that his laughter really wants to break through. “No, no, I see how it is.”

“Oh, shut up!” she laughs. Jonathan, pressed against her other side, watches the scene with something like fond exasperation until Nancy turns on him, her face suddenly taken over with a grin like she’s only now remembering he’s here, and she snaps her head back to Steve in excitement. “Oh my god, I almost forgot. You won’t believe what Jonathan did last night!”

“What did he –“

“Nothing, don’t believe anything she says!”

“No, no, this is gold because – when I picked up Jonathan last night –“

“Libel!” Jonathan squeaks, wrapping an arm around Nancy’s waist and pressing the other down on her mouth as she keeps laughing. She tries licking his hand, wriggling in his arms, but she isn’t really fighting him. He isn’t holding onto her nearly strong enough to keep her in place if she was really trying. “Lies, slander, I - Steve, Nancy is trying to defame me, and I want you to know that you cannot believe anything that comes out of her mouth. She’s – she’s turned over to the yellow press, she’s –”

But Steve doesn’t respond. When Jonathan looks over at him, he’s watching them with a grin, like he isn’t even aware of it, and Nancy seems to notice it too because she stops squirming and stares back at Steve as well.

“What?” Jonathan eventually asks, suddenly self-conscious again. He isn’t usually like this in front of anyone but Nancy.

Steve’s eyes snap to his, but the smile doesn’t dim at all.

“Nothing,” he says, though his tone of voice suggests otherwise. “Just ... it's good to see you two.”

In his arms, Jonathan can feel Nancy soften, leaning back until her back is flush against his chest, his hands now both loose around her middle. There's been this understanding between them for a while. This understanding that means that Nancy knows exactly that he, too, is looking at Steve, and that he knows with just as much certainty that Nancy feels a similar warmth stirring in her at Steve’s words.

And maybe it's obvious. By all means, it really should be, if not from their calling at any given opportunity just to hear his voice, then from today, from the way they drove for hours and hours just because they couldn't stand missing him anymore.

But Steve was there too, several hours out of Hawkins, ready to cross state lines after they went missing for just a few hours. Worried out of his mind, embracing them with an inevitability like he's a compass and they’re north, and really, can there be an explanation for them finding each other like this that is any less significant than the earth's magnetic field?

Steve looks at them like that, now, like it’s a law of nature. Like he knows he can’t turn away, and he doesn’t mind at all. Jonathan thinks that the space that this look is taking up under his sternum might kill him, and he’d let it.

It’s Nancy who eventually braves the silence between them, reaching her hand out for his wrist and tugging him closer. She smiles, and Steve looks so openly hopeful that Jonathan frees one of his own hands to put on top of Nancy’s.

“It’s good to see you, too, Steve.”

The tension isn’t uncomfortable, but something has shifted, and it stays. Still, they spend the rest of the afternoon catching up, and it feels easy, just talking like that. Nancy talks about the adventures of living with Robin, the things they’re finding they have in common the more time they spend with each other. Jonathan talks about this impossibly pretentious guy in one of his classes and lets Steve tease him about it like, see, now you know how we feel.

Steve, for his part, gives them the weekly highlights of town gossip (Mrs. Baker left her bastard husband, good for her; the new mayor proposed another attempt at a mall and was unanimously shut down; a senior from Hawkins High was caught selling weed behind the school, only for Hopper to let him off with a warning because fuck Reagan, and I’m not ruining some idiot kid’s future over some fucking weed, Harrington, who do you take me for?). They ask him how he knows all that, which is how he realizes he hasn’t told them about his new job.

“Shit, that’s right! You know Flo? From the police station?” The question earns him two equally confused glances, which he willfully ignores because he knows they know her, and they’ll get why he’s talking about her in a minute, either way. “Anyway, she got sick a few weeks back, and I guess they never realized how much she was actually doing because once she wasn’t there anymore, everything kind of erupted into chaos. Hop knew I was looking to make some extra money, so he asked me if I wanted to be her stand in.”

“That’s … cool,” Jonathan says, like he doesn’t know if he’s supposed to think it’s cool. It makes Steve laugh, which makes Jonathan blush, which makes Steve’s cheeks hurt.

“It’s alright. Turns out I’m pretty alright at talking –“ Nancy gives him a no shit kind of look for that. “– and the hours aren’t bad. Besides, now that Flo’s back, it’s nowhere near as stressful.”

“They kept you on?” Nancy asks, surprised. “Even though she’s back?”

Steve shoots her a wry grin, like, see, I can keep a job. “Bunch of apocalypses are bound to make people paranoid, so there are a lot of calls to take. We got, like, several lines now. All the paperwork on top of that …”

“Sounds like you’re having a good time.”

The weird thing is, he really is. And he’s still saving money, and he's still planning to up and follow Robin into that wide, wide world, but for the first time in a very long time, he’s letting himself feel like it’s some idea of where he’s going.

Not that he wants to spend the rest of his life behind a desk. God, no. It's all the people that call, that come and go every day, looking for help. On some rare occasions, Steve is the one who gets to help them, in some small way, and he's realized that that's kind of the one thing he's really good at.

“You know that kid?” he says, by the way of nothing at all. Nancy cocks her head, that curious expression in her wide-as-the-sea eyes, and Jonathan frowns at him softly, nothing like the way he used to. “Ryan White, some middle schooler from up in Kokomo. Non-Hawkins news weren’t really top priority for a while with everything that was ... going on, last year, but Robin told me about it, and then I started following it … You’ve heard of him, right?”

There’s a short silence, and for that moment, Steve gets weirdly nervous. He tries to focus on Jonathan’s teeth pulling at the skin of his lower lip, but it only makes him nervous for a different reason, until he nods, slowly. “He’s the one who got sick, right?”

Steve hums, yes, that’s one way of putting it. “The one they wouldn’t let back into school. Someone shot through their living room window, did you know that? Just put a bullet through it.”

“God,” Nancy whispers.

“Nobody was home. They’re moving to Cicero, now that he’s finished with middle school. But I swear, the kid is what – fifteen? And he’s dying, and he has to deal with all of this bullshit on top of it all. And … it all makes me so mad when I think about it, which I do too much because I have way too much free time – ‘cause it’s not fair, right? And what else is not fair is that probably tons of other people are having the exact same issues but get none of the help or the – national fucking attention, whatever, none of that support and nobody cares. It makes me so angry, I could –“

Maybe they’re staring again. Maybe Steve has talked himself into half a rampage and gotten off-track from where he was originally going with this. Nancy is staring, and Jonathan is staring, both with those soft frowns that should be infuriating, should feel infuriating because they should be screaming of dear god, look at Steve, he really has been cooped up in here for too long. He’s turning into some Murray Baumann of obsessing over civil rights.

But it isn’t. They’re both looking at him like that, but it doesn’t feel condescending or pitying or even like they don’t understand. Which makes sense because – who is he talking to? There are two of the most empathetic and socially aware people he knows, even if he wouldn’t even have been able to identify them as that until Robin taught him what on earth that means.

“Yeah,” Jonathan finally mutters. “Yeah, no, I know what you mean. It’s – well, New York is bad. People out here are still pretending it isn’t happening, mostly, but back there, you can’t. … Sometimes you walk past an apartment building in a certain part of town, and you see a whole – a whole life in the dumpster behind it. Just thrown out because there was nobody who would or could claim it.”

The soft, warm tone of his voice has Steve deflating a little from the rigid stance he’s worked himself into. Nancy reaches out her right foot to nudge him with her socked toes. He sighs.

“I just – I want to do something. To help people, to – ” Steve manages. It’s the first time he says it out loud; he hasn’t even talked this over with Robin, not that there’s much to talk about, not that she isn’t the one who got him here in the first place, in a way. “I mean, I want to do something where I can help people like that, you know? People who don’t have anyone to back them up. I just … don’t know how.”

“Have you thought about …” Nancy begins. “I mean, maybe Hopper could help you –“

“Oh, no, no,” Steve cuts in. Maybe, maybe he’s gotten up by now, pacing back and forth in front of the couch like they can solve the whole question of his future right here, right now. “No offence to Hopper, the guy is a saint, but – well, for one thing, everything in the past couple years hasn’t really got me jumping up and down to work for the government in like, any way or form. And then – everything that Hopper’s done that makes him a great guy is also what kind of makes him a shitty police man? I mean, the police don’t exactly protect people, do they? They protect – I don’t know, the law? And the law doesn’t usually protect the people who really need it, so I just don’t –“

A hand on his wrist cuts him off, and he’s a little surprised that it’s attached to Jonathan, this time. In his endless mental list of maybes, Steve finds himself wondering if he’s staring at Jonathan, now, if turning to face him has left them just the slightest bit too close to one another.

“Uh,” he says, eloquently.

“I’m saying this in the kindest possible way – because you going all anti-establishment is weirdly, unfairly hot – and don’t you dare tell her I said this, but meeting Robin really is the best thing that ever happened to you.”

“She knows,” Steve replies, almost automatically, then clamps his mouth shut and abruptly lets it drop open again. “Wait, did you –“

Jonathan snatches his hand away like he's burned himself, so maybe he himself didn't realize what just came out of his mouth. He really does blush so drastically. It’s a little bit addictive to look at. There are a few seconds where both of them just sort of ... gape at each other, lost for words in this inane situation.

Nancy, fortunately, has always been rather impatient with them and cuts through their silence with an exasperated groan.

“For God's sake,” she says, with both of the others now staring at her instead, like waiting for her to tell them what happens next. “Will you just –“

She doesn't get to finish. She doesn't need to finish, really, because apparently her and Jonathan still share that strange psychic connection between them, so that Jonathan gets the message just fine.

They're kissing, and Steve never even saw it coming.

It somehow just happens like this. One moment, Steve is rambling about the … evils of the world, and the next, Jonathan Byers is kissing him like he doesn't know if it's allowed, and he'll give it his all just in case it's all that he's going to get. Maybe, Steve is kissing back the way he is for the same reason, or maybe it's just to prove that Jonathan is wrong. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Before he knows it, they’re pulling apart, breathless like marathon runners, but more from the shock than from exertion. More like the adrenaline of having slain the monster and lived rather than the endurance it took to get there.

Nancy doesn't give him the chance to catch his breath before she takes over from where Jonathan left off, and yes, he thinks dizzily, maybe this is that homesick feeling he's been having. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Well, he doesn't have to miss them tonight, or even tomorrow. And maybe, just maybe he is finally ready to come with them, find a place somewhere that can be a home they can all come back to, eventually. Hawkins has Hopper, Joyce, El, and the other kids there to look after it, look after each other. From the way the two of them keep looking at him after they part, he gets the feeling that he might be needed elsewhere.

#stranger things fic #stranger things #stoncy #prompt fill #jonathan x steve x nancy

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roci-wolf · 9 months

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hehe i’m just trying to help out.

you can kind of tell when someone’s just starting out as a writer or hasn’t gotten the right feedback. so i always weave it into my reblogs (i try to be gentle, ik some people don’t like unsolicited advice. but those kinda people usually… are ones you can smell from a mile away and avoid lol. so far anyone i’ve been like “hey this is good but you can try this if you want, i think it’ll help” to has been really sweet.

except one person. who’s actually a decent writer. all i did was tell them that a line they wrote had slight racist undertones. and that it could hurt feelings (bc literally my friend was the one who said she felt uncomfy reading that line and that person was a mutual so i thought i’d be nice and point it out).

and they got super defensive and aggressive. which…? confused me bc i wasn’t even accusing them. i was like “hey i get what you’re trying to say here but this line seems a lil off.” and somehow that meant i was calling the writer racist 😂😂😂 i even said multiple times that ik they didn’t mean to and i get what they’re trying to say but it’s reading badly but 🤷🏻‍♀️

they unfollowed me lol

(it was something like… them calling hyunjin’s eyes “slitted”. which sounds a lot like when people are racist to east asian for having small eyes and call them “slitty”. and this person was like “no it’s from the word “slot”. like coin slot??” and i’m here like…. girlina the past tense or descriptive word for slot is SLOTTED??? you’re saying his eyes are sharp and narrow like a snake (he was a slytherin). but snakes have round eyes. their irises are slits. and if you just said that nobody would be uncomfortable but NOOOOO. anyway. it was ridiculous 🤡)

yeah, i get what you mean, that's exactly the reason as to why i continue reading, because i know it's worth it and that person can learn. sometimes they just need a little push.

and concerning unsolicited advice, yeah, some ppl don't like it, but if someone posts their work on such a big site like tumblr or any other site where people post their creations, they have to assume the responsibility, because mostly that's the purpose of these places. it's only natural that others would want to share opinions and give feedback and if someone shares smth, it means they do want to receive that feedback, right? and if they cannot take constructive criticism, and they only expect praises, that's their problem.

honestly? glad they unfollowed, you really don't need that negativity around you bestie 🤚🏻 the fact that they struggled SO HARD to defend themselves only just proved a point 💀

and people should check their grammar first before trying to make these types of arguments odndjf it's not that hard to google search-

but yeah, at the end of the day it's totally their problem to deal with, you are actually doing them a favour through your feedbacks and if they don't see it? buy eyeglasses for your brain lol

#sulfurcosmos #roci's ✉️

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astrobydalia · 3 years

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Astro observations🎁🎄

Wishing you guys happy holidays, happy age of Aquarius, happy Capricorn season, happy solstice and just happiness all the way❤️

Credit: Tumblr Blog @astrobydalia

🎁 People with Mercury or Gemini in the 10th tend to have multiple accounts on social media

🎄 Unless the rest of the chart says otherwise, planets in the 12th house conjunct your ASC can make you an introvert specially if your first house is empty, cus those planets pull the energy of the ASC inward.

🎁 People with Venus harshly aspecting Moon can be low-key manipulative but in a way that is so sweet it’s hard to notice. They’re the type to innocently throw a “suggestion” which comes across as them looking out for you when what they’re really doing is telling you what they want you to do. People with this aspect also get offended TOO easily, you have to walk on eggshells with them. They can go so far as getting scandalized when people say curse words (to anyone that has this aspect, sorry not sorry for this observation cus ik y’all get offended when people call you out)

🎄 Those with Venus-moon hard aspects also tend to get very insecure if they don’t receive constant words of affirmation and constant displays of affection. They basically need their loved ones to constantly tell them that they love them, constantly give them kisses, etc. They could be needy or clingy bc of this

🎁 People with Saturn conjunct moon are so fucking DRY and I mean DRY. They are the type to tell you “omg this is the best day of my life” with a straight face or hardly putting emotion to what they are saying. These people are reluctant to showing vulnerability so even if they are saying how they feel with a straight face they usually mean it.

🎄 Also my heart goes to anyone that has this Saturn-moon conjuntion y’all just really need a warm sincere hug. Every single person I’ve seen with this conjuction (or Saturn in the 4th) have a very turbulent or toxic backstory/family. It’s usually hard for them to find good things to say about their family/mom even if they love them. They were somehow raised feeling like their feelings and needs were far from a priority and so they grow up learning how to “block” or restrict their feelings or emotional expression

🎁 In synastry, when someone’s moon falls in another’s 10th house, the moon person will highly admire and almost idolize the house person, but unlike the 12th house synastry, the moon person will have good realistic reasons to admire the 10th house person. The moon person will likely hype the house person up. With this overlay I’ve noticed however there’s some emotional distance, the connection can feel too “formal” if that makes sense

🎄Virgo+Gemini = FRIENDS

🎁 Cancer placements are obsessed with kawaii stuff or anything that looks cute, tiny and cuddly. They’re also obsessed with chubby looking stuff? (They tend to have round faces themselves or chubby cheeks) They are the type of people to use UwU, 🥺 or literally make those faces in real life.

🎄 Pisces moons are very elusive people, not necessarily mysterious, but more like very distant people. I hate saying cliche things about astrology but they really do feel like they’re not fully here in the present moment and therefore it’s sometimes harder to fully “get” them. Everywhere they go or any situation they put themselves in they always low-key want to leave

🎁 People with Cancer/moon in the 8th are said to want an emotional connection when it comes to sex but I’ve seen that they go through phases in which they are reluctant (or scared) to make such emotional connection and can indulge in casual sex or casual dating

🎄 That energy of someone that likes a good challenge usually associated to Aries is more of a Scorpio/Pluto thing. Scorpio placements are very aware of all the hardships and challenges they have accomplished/gone through and really take a lot of pride in how much they’ve grown from it. They are not afraid of going through hell and back. It doesn’t mean they like harships (I mean, nobody does), but they just love the feeling of surviving something hard.

🎁 Scorpio Suns are fucking comedians in disguise I swear to god. People that made me laugh the HARDEST were Scorpios Suns. Their parodical and satirical humor is just on point and they don’t even try

🎄 I once read an observation that said Sagittarius placements have a thing for bangs and I can confirm this is 100% true, you can also look at many celebrities with this as well

🎁 A lot of astrology freaks have Gemini placements and they got into astrology bc initially they just got “curious”

🎄 Be careful with Scorpio rising in the composite. Those connections never end well and the two people could even become a bitter burden to each other. It can have enemies-to-lovers vibe and be great in that case, but when it’s the other way around (lovers-to-enemies)... it’s no bueno

🎁 Has anyone else noticed that SO MANY famous people and public figures are Sagittarius Suns?? It’s incredible

🎄 Virgo placements tend to be teachers’ pets

🎁 Scorpio/8th house or Taurus/2nd house placements tend to be very street smart

🎄 People with Capricorn+Aquarius placements exude so much respect. They have that vibe of someone you wouldn’t want to judge you or someone you would REALLY want on your side. This combo really exudes that vibe of someone that will be a great loyal friend but won’t hesitate to cut you at the first sign of bullshit and that’s why they have this intimidating and respectable energy.

🎁 If you have the ruler of a house in that same house then this house will be very important to you and will be one of the most important parts of your life. For example if Leo is ruling your 11th house and you have the Sun (ruler of Leo) there, then the 11th house is very important for you regardless of the sign in which the Sun is. This could be a house where things naturally go well for you, tho placements, aspects and even transits can say otherwise.

Credit: Tumblr Blog @astrobydalia

#astro #astrology #zodiac #astro notes #astro observations

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talkativefangirl13 · 2 years

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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Thanks for the tag, @scottxlogan

I... only have 19 works and most of them are art so there aren’t much really to choose from HAHAHAHAAHAH. And almost all of it are Scogan... so yeahhhhh.

1. Superheroes -Modern AU where Scott's life is a living nightmare and Logan is fucking stupid.

Note: I don't really recommend this, that is unless you like depressing stories then be my guest, I had problems with the tagging the first time I posted this, would just like to say that read the warning tag first if ever you want to read this.

2. Coniuncti - The X-men High school AU and everyone has their own issues.

Note: I put a lot of thought into this, like a lot, almost a month of plotting the timeline because there's a lot of overlapping POVs, the story mainly took reference on the movie-verse franchise and took me more than a year to finish even though with only eleven chapters. Not really my most famous work but this has a special place in my heart.

3. Close Your Eyes - Soulmate AU where you meet your soulmate through dreams and Logan's already tired of this shit.

4. Do You Remember Me? - Soulmate AU where you meet your soulmate through dreams and Logan couldn't remember shit.

Note: Close Your Eyes and Do You Remember Me is part of a three part series. Initially, it's just a one shot, i was supposed to leave it in a cliffhanger, but then when I finished writing the first part, I suddenly wanted to write a little more about the aftermath of it, so I left it with a potential second part rather than a potential second chapter. Chaptered stories are fun to write but are a mess for me.

5. Night After Night - AU where Erik is currently working as a night guard in a Mental Institution, and Peter is a new patient who doesn't seem to know the meaning of sleep.

Note: The only Erik and Pietro relationship story that is on the works that I grew to like. Again, this is catered on the second franchise of the X-men movies, I wrote this because Dark Phoenix was such a let down. I rarely update and the amount of words is no where near my typical word count per chapter. But I like this, writing this makes me feel like I have my own group of misfits. But Read the warning tags again pls.

I also wrote Scott Summers VS Parenthood, considering the amount of kudos it received, it's easy to assume that this is my pride and joy. But it isn't, it's far from it. Do I regret writing it? No, am I going to write another one with the same concept? Also no because this is the type of story that I would prefer nobody knows I wrote it.

I don't have anyone to tag, @scottxlogan already tagged the ones I had in mind HAHAHAHAAH (ik, i know only so little of people here. I need more friends) sooo... anyone who wants to do this are welcome.

#off topic #writer's ask #fanfics #scogan

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stariwrites · 3 years

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👀👀👀👀 Ship your moots

Alright I’m putting this under a readmore because I’m going to try and include all of my moots so let’s see how I do. They’re going to be split up half and half so this is the first half. I’m determined also I may have gone overboard but it’s chill

Edit: adding more here!

@dabitdabi Keigo for sure, they’d be so powerful it would be insane😩, he’d be so cute and flustered and Cheshire is such a sweetheart he’d practically drop everything for her if she needed it. The type of couple who compliment each other, she’d remind him to take care of himself and make sure he knows that shes somebody he can depend on/talk to at the end of the day. And he’ll take care of her too, make sure he remembers her favorite food, flower, blanket you name it he’ll remember.

@sleepyrintaro (ik you’re on a hiatus love but I wanted to include you too) Kuroo, another absolute unit. When I tell you they’re both geniuses and when they’re together they’re either the most intelligent people or have one brain cell shared and there’s no in between, there’s no in between. Rin is amazing and is so kind/has such a big heart the two of them would have so much fun together and be so fun to be around. Kuroo would love hearing about psychology and it would basically turn into talking about hyperfixations going back and forth.

@rukunas Sukuna hands down. Rue is so sweet and has the best vibes and I feel like Sukuna would be drawn to that. The soft but only for you trope definitely comes into play here. Sukuna would look so intimidating and tease Rue but then get flustered half way through. King of curses or not he can be really intimidating one minute but as soon as you need him he’s instantly like ‘what’s wrong baby what happened?’ (Basically the Gordon Ramsey with kids vs with adults comes into play here).

@kkodzvken Dabi or Toga, Lune is a sweetheart and I feel like both Dabi and Toga would look at them and instantly think ‘I want to protect them.’ This relationship would be very cute in its own way because they’d all watch out for each other. Dabi would smile so fondly it would be a crime, but if he’s ever called out on it he would 100% deny it and you can’t convince me otherwise. He’d let Lune wear his coat around if they wanted to. With Toga, she’d do skin care (if you wanted to) and would adore shopping dates! Loves cuddling and just snuggling up to you too!

@katslutski I cannot stress this enough: Nanami Kento. They both value independence and Nanami would take care of you if you needed it. He’d love chilling and watching movies or reading quietly with Kat and nobody can convince me otherwise. Slow dancing in a kitchen would be a must at least once. They’d have separate apartments but spend a lot of time at the others. He’d send texts from time to time asking how she is and would enjoy making dinner together with her. Nothing relaxes him more than the time they have together. Kat is so fun to talk to and is honestly amazing and so is Nanami so they would for sure have the best convos too.

@pupimouto Chuuya hands down. Babi is honestly amazing and Chuuya would be so enamored. He’d also have the thought of ‘Must protect.’ Adores her, the red and pink aesthetic for sure. He’d get into a fight if anybody looked at her the wrong way. If there’s a bad day he’d be there to hold her close to her and reassure her and if she kisses him or holds his hand/tells him she loves him? Gone he has ascended, he’ll smile for the rest of the day.

@oilivia Oikawa. Liv deserves the best and who is Oikawa if he doesn’t provide? Their relationship is super fun, he’d listen to her playlists and playfully tease her a bit but it’s all in good fun. (He makes sure not to go too far and cross a line) the type of relationship where they both bicker playfully, but also have really deep convos. They also balance each other out and help each other to either break out of their shell or relax and just focus on the present. Communication between them is amazing, they make it look so easy. Both of them are able to confide in the other knowing it’s a safe space and there will be no judgement. Oikawa also loves to fluster her in public by calling her cute pet names.

@bakugohoex Jean Kirschtein, they’re able to be independent but also comes together. The best friends before being lovers type of thing. Ria is amazing and Jean would be there to hang out with her and makes sure to call her beautiful everyday. He adores the little domestic moments the most and would love hearing about her day and would check in throughout the day with ‘Hey baby how are you doing?’ Attentive and he’s a very good listener. They’d both work so well together! He seems like the type to theorize movies and so they’d both exchange their own and see who’s closer to what’s actually going on.

@chaos-night *deep inhale* ATSUHIRO SAKO please they’d be so perfect I’m not even kidding! He’d take up ballroom dancing lessons so they could dance in the kitchen and their relationship would be so soft and wholesome. Chaos is a wonderful person and is a great listener as well as fun to talk to so they would both revel in each other’s presence. Atsuhiro would shower her in praise all the time. He’d adore her so much and everyday would fall a little more in love with her. King of romantic dates whether it’s extravagant or just hanging out and watching movies either way he adores it. Will hold her close to his chest as they sleep whispering how much he loves her and how lucky he is to be with her.

@raes-still-rambling the sweetest I can’t even articulate. Tamaki Amajiki they would work so well together. He’d find so much comfort in them. His favorite would be if they just cuddled together and watched a movie. He isn’t big on romance but he’d put his all into it regardless. Loves holding their hand and would smile softly whenever he sees her. They’d definitely have a cuddling playlist and he’d show them he loves them through small actions

@m-mortimer Christa and Ymir 100%. Izzie has such a big heart and I feel like she’d fit into this dynamic so well! They’d both take care of her, Ymir has strong mommy dom energy and would make sure both her girls are doing well. They would all live the cottage core lesbian dream I guarantee you. Would dance around and just have a lot of laughs together, making flower crowns would be an absolute must. They’d all take care of each other and would help if any of them got into a bad headspace. This relationship would feel like a home.

@deludedimagines Levi Ackerman, Sorcha has to be one of the coolest people ever and who better to match that energy than Humanity’s Strongest. Their relationship would be comfort. Both of them would find solace in each other whether it be making tea late at night to playing games in the morning. The two of them would work so well together, completely content to dwell in the comfortable silence they’ve created. They’d also clean together with soft music playing in the background and Levi can’t get enough of it. Their relationship is full of understanding one another. The phrase/lyrics “Life is not the things that we do it’s who we’re doing them with” very much applies here.

@fuwushiguro Toji Fushiguro no questions asked. The most interesting and fun relationship ever, Venus is a goddess and is so kind/compassionate Toji would start out being like ‘I have no intention of falling in love’ and then before he knows it he’s in love. Would protect her no matter what, they would have amazing stories. Their life would be like a movie. He’d hold her and in the soft moments tell her how much he loves her and how he feels complete with them together. He’s the type to use action instead of words so if he sees her sad? He’s off to get ice cream and put on her favorite comfort movie. He grumbles about her making him soft but when she just gives him a smile and says he likes it he can’t help but smile fondly, he can’t argue with that.

@fushigurocockslut Mahito, they too have a fun relationship. Tessa is one of the chillest people I’ve ever had the joy of knowing and her and Mahito would be so chaotic im living for it. They share one brain cell and it’s to wreak total havoc, both of them have the friendship dynamic down to the point where people have to ask if they’re dating or just close friends. Mahito loves spending time with her and they both would absolutely prank the hell out of Nanami. Also they’d find/have the coolest hang outs to chill and listen to music, eat snacks and vibe. Although they may be chaotic they’d also have really chill moments where they would just relax and stargaze. The two of them could talk about everything and anything.

@doinmybesthere Shoto Todoroki. Emme has a huge heart with so much love and she deserves to receive all that love back and more. Shoto is not big on pda, but behind closed doors he loves intimacy. In the quiet moments of just waking up he’d kiss her forehead with a groggy ‘Good morning love’ their dynamic is ‘Two sweethearts in a room they might love each other unconditionally’ and then they did. Slow dancing in the kitchen? Absolutely. Shoto is also attentive and adores Emme’s beautiful singing voice, on bad nights he loves nothing more than to feel her fingers in his hair and hear her voice as he drifts off. If the roles are reversed he holds her to his chest and hums softly while rubbing soothing circles against her back. Their relationship is wholesome and they bring out the best in each other.

@izukine Takemichi for sure. Both would try and protect the other and they’d both be flustered by the other since they’d both of the thought process of ‘Theyre so cute my heart feels like it’s about to burst’ Liyah is so friendly and awesome and I feel like Takemichi would be drawn to that. Whether it be walking around or just chilling both of them would just like the time they spend together. Every time Takemichi sees her he instantly perks up and has a cute smile on his face. Their relationship holds solid communication and trust.

@cupcake-rogue Bakugou Katsuki without question. King of making sure Star is taken care of and has a soft spot for her. Everybody makes fun of him for it, but he doesn’t care. Star would mean the world to him and knowing that he comes home to see her face would relax him and keep him calm. He loves holding her in his arms and if she runs her fingers through his scalp he’s gone. Instantly falls asleep. Uses actions over words so he’ll make sure he has her favorite foods/drinks stalked in the fridge. If he notices it’s a bad day he’ll ask how he can make it better. The two of them would have a relationship that’s all about care.

@nomadmilk Kirishima Eijirou both of them take care of each other and have so much fun together. Matching outfits? Sure. Cute couple photos? Absolutely! They’re the definition of couple aesthetic/goals. Love being affectionate, it doesn’t matter if they’re in public or not. Kirishima will constantly praise Noma and be like ‘that’s my baby!’ Whenever you do something. He loves supporting you and if you ever comfort him/do the same he’ll be so happy. Loves to hold and cuddle Noma a lot. Both of them together would radiate so much love they both deserve wonderful things.

If I didn’t get to you this round just you wait cause tomorrow is part 2

#starianswers #beautiful anons

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aremiies · 3 years

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DRUMMER BOY.

pairings: drummer!bakugou x gn!leadsinger!reader

warnings: swearing, fluff, incorrect!bakugou (i think), bad writing

other: band au. song prompt (i wanna be yours by arctic monkeys.)

notes: long over due part two, ik, ik. even though the first part of this was a fem!reader, i wanted to make this gn. ok thats it, enjoy <3

part one .

not my gif !

—

it’s been less than a month after the bands gig at rolling red, and they’d all begged you to stay. after the performance, an owner of another lounge had asked for you guys to play at his establishment. of course, you all said yes and now you had three weeks until you played there. all had been going pretty well. you, mina and jirou were working on a new song to sing since you thought repetitiveness with your performances may give you a bad rep. the three of you sat in the break room of the music store brainstorming. it was quiet; the only sound being the soft tapping of the mechanical pencil on the notepad in front of you.

mina broke the somewhat silences when she threw her arms up in frustration, “ugh! i cant think of anything else!”

“yeah,” you nodded in agreement “neither can i...”

“okay, we’ve been thinking about this for a while, i think we deserve a break. c’mon let’s go see what the guys are doing.” jirou suggested after a few more moments. you and mina agreed, you placed the pencil down and proceeded to the front of the store where you saw kaminari, bakugou and kiri beginning to close.

“yo, guys!” mina greeted the three, “need any help?”

over the last two or so weeks, you’d come to love the pink haired girl. her positive, bubbly attitude was exactly the thing you needed in your life sometimes. she was a breath of fresh air when you were stressed, and always knew exactly what to say when you were upset.

kaminari, who’d been sweeping the floor, turned his attention to the three of you,”oh hey guys! you were so quiet back there i forgot about you.” he chuckled.

“he’s right. i kind of forgot you three were here. did you get any good lyrics down?” kirishima added as he finished sanitizing the instruments that’d been used throughout the day.

you sighed, “we got a few lines down, but for some reason we literally can’t think of anything.” you could hear bakugou’s “tch.” from his place by the front door.

“you think you need help?” kiri asked putting down the disinfectant wipes he’d been using.

“yeah actually, do you think you guys may be able to?” jirou asked the trio, to which they obviously agreed.

the six of you then made your way to the back practice room and shut the door, this was about the time you guys had rehearsals anyway, so you were right on schedule more or less.

“okay, so this is what we have so far,” you began, sliding the notepad in the middle of the table for everyone to see.

as the boys quickly read over the lyrics, you watched bakugou’s eyebrows furrow and un-furrow. you watched as he took his bottom lip in between his teeth as if he was thinking; deciphering the lyrics, wondering what they meant.

“well first of all,” the blonde mumbled under his breath, “this is actually... okay progress. you guys have gotten pretty far with lyrics for this to be a new song.”

“thank you!” mina beamed while you just smiled at his attempt at a compliment.

“so, i’m guessing this is a love song?” kirishima spoke up.

you went stiff when you heard kiri’s question. you wouldn’t say love, no, that would be way too strong of a word for your liking. you thought of it more of having a somewhat pining for someone you found attractive; in both ways, not just one.

you felt mina and jirou look over to you, waiting on you to answer.

you let a nervous chuckle escape your lips, “w-well... i don’t know, i wouldn’t call it a love song-”

“oh, come on. the phrase ‘i wanna be yours’ ? that tells me everything i need to know honestly.” kaminari teased.

“no, no, it’s just.. no. it’s just a song.” you tried to explain.

“the lyrics are nothing short of what someone would write when they’re in love.” kiri joined in on the teasing.

“and if it’s just a song, why are the lyrics so heartfelt? these seem like you’re speaking from experience. who is it?” bakugou chimed in.

mina and jirou kept quiet, though they did have an idea or two as to who it was about.

“okay, okay, first of all, love is way too strong of a word.” you rolled your eyes.”i prefer a somewhat attraction to said person.”

you felt your face get hotter and hotter with each second the five teens spent looking at you. so what if it was a love song? was it really that big of a deal; not that it really mattered, but you swore that if you had to endure another second of what seemed like judgmental silence, you were gonna combust.

“guys, leave the poor thing alone,” jirou and shook her head and put a hand on your shoulder.

you somewhat smiled in relief.

“let them be in love in peace!” you heard the girl finish with a teasing tone laced in her voice.

you rolled your eyes once more, “okay, okay! let’s just figure out some more lyrics.” the rest of the team agreed, scooting their chairs closer to the table as you all began to brainstorm.

after half an hour of brainstorming and making a little more progress, bakugou spoke up, “wait- y/n, do you guys even know what you want the instrumental to sound like? do you have chords written down?” he raised a brow, waiting for your answer, though he already knew what you were going to say.

“uh.. no, we don’t, but we’re working on it.” you assured.

he gave a soft “mhm” before he tilted his head back and to the side before running a hand through his striking blonde hair, sliding the hand down to his cheek where he then began to rest his head in it.

you watched his movements intently with your mouth slightly agape, wondering just how the hell someone could be so pretty. how he could manage to look so good doing the most mundane of things. asking yourself how could he be so mesmerizing without even trying.

you snapped your mouth shut the second you saw his crimson eyes meet your (eye color) ones. you felt your mouth get abnormally dry as you watched him look you up and down before meeting your eyes again. you felt as if your heart was about to drop into the pit of your stomach, you were sure the others could hear it beating. it felt as if this moment had been going on for hours when it’d really only been about 15 seconds. you felt tingles flow throughout your body as you watched an almost unnoticeable smirk make it’s way across his lips. a smirk nobody else could’ve possibly seen unless they were staring at him as hard as you were. and that’s when you looked away, finally taking the liberty to compose yourself.

‘since when did any guy have this affect on me?’ you asked yourself.

when you finally zoned back in, you noticed the room was unusually quiet, you turned to look at the rest of the teens who were either focused on you, or bakugou.

oh. they noticed.

“the hell was that-?” mina spoke up, turning her head from bakugou to look over at you.

“were you guys speaking telepathically or some shit?” kaminari chimed in which earned a stifled laugh from kiri and jirou.

“staring contest.” bakugou said with a small smile patent on his lips, his eyes still trained on you features.

you looked towards the boy once more upon hearing his voice, “yeah. exactly.”

about an hour later everyone had decided that it was time for the six of you to go home and get some rest. you agreed, although you somewhat wanted to continue writing, considering you made little progress today. nonetheless, you grabbed your bag and made your way out the practice room. as you made your way to the front door, you noticed that among the rest of the teens, bakugou wasn’t there.

you furrowed your brows and stopped before turning back around towards the practice room, “hold on guys, i think i’m gonna stay a bit longer.” you notified your friends.

upon making it back to the practice rooms, you spotted bakugou sitting in the same spot, looking over the lyrics with a pencil in his hand. you watched as he would hum something before thinking it over and writing it down. it seemed that he already had an idea of what he wanted the song to sound like. he seemed content, and you found yourself sitting there for much longer than you had originally planned.

“hey,” you piped up.

he looked towards the door to find you leaning against the frame, “what?”

“you okay? er... need any help?” you inquired, walking over to the table and taking a spot in the chair next to him.

“i mean, i guess... i kinda got a few more things down.” he shrugged as he slid the notepad over to you and let you read what he’d wrote down.

not to say that you’d underestimated the boy, but you didn’t think that he’d grasp the theme of the song this well; you just didn’t think that it was his type of song.

“you grasped this way better than i thought you would.” you said to him.

he raised a brow, “what’d you think? that i don’t understand feelings of infatuation? love?”

“oh... no, no, no that’s not what i was tying to say at all. i’m sorry if it came off that way.”

bakugou let out a small chuckle, “i’m joking, dumbass. i understand.”

it went silent for a second before you broke it, “so you understand what the song’s about?”

“of course i do, i’m not stupid. i just wanna know who it’s about.” he turned to look at you, “who’s it about?”

once again you felt your mouth get dry and your heard your heartbeat in your ears. you felt your hands get sweaty and-

“you don’t have to answer, y’know. i can see you getting nervous.”

you made a face that said “huh?” before you answered, “i’m not.” you lied. “besides, you keep asking me who it’s about, when i feel like you have a hunch...”

he gave you a look before chuckling a bit and looking back to the notepad in front of you. though he looked confident, he was sweating bullets. every alarm in his head was going off saying that the song was about him, not that those alarms were wrong, but he kept on thinking ‘what if they are?’

like i said: they weren’t.

“and if i do?” he replied.

now it was your turn to seem confident, “i would tell you to tell me who you think it is.” you said as you rested your elbow on the table and gazed at him.

bakugou felt the tips of his ears turn the lightest shade of pink as his eyes set on you and your expression. did you have any idea what you did to this poor boy?

spoiler: you did.

the both of you stared at each other in silence, just as you’d did before. you waited for bakugou to answer you, while bakugou waited for the courage he needed to do so.

“y/n,” he began

“hm?”

“me?”

you raised a brow, “what about you?” you asked, already knowing what he meant.

“ugh i- the song... is it about me?”

“let’s finish it and maybe you’ll find out.” you tilted your head and gave him a smile before grabbing the pencil from his hand.

two weeks later and two days away from the gig, you and bakugou once again found yourselves in the company of just each other as you finalized the lyrics and chords to the song.

“i really do like working with you.” you broke the silence the two of you were currently in.

bakugou nearly dropped the guitar he was sturmming, “huh? you mean like... the band?”

you shrugged, “i mean, yeah, them too, but when we stay after together? i really enjoy it.”

bakugou swallowed thickly. what was he supposed to say back? it’s not like he didn’t enjoy working one on one, quite frankly it was one of the only things he looked forward to in the day besides going home.

“i know it’s kind of weird for me to say that, sor-”

“no.” he interrupted.

“what?”

“i mean, don’t apologize. i really like it too...” he mumbled.

a smile involuntarily made it’s way onto your face.

“also,” he continued, “your progress has been... really good... you’re doing a really good job and i just thought you should know that.”

“well that’s only because i had a really blunt, but amazing teacher to help me.” you smiled at him.

bakugou looked at you and your smile, his face softening at the sight.

since when did you become so pretty?

he spared you a glance and shook his head softly, your smile was utterly contagious.

“yeah, yeah. let’s just run through this; make sure everything’s where it needs to be.” he instructed, to which you nodded, grabbed your bass and walked over to him.

you sat down on the floor next to him then looked at him once again, waiting for his cue. bakugou looked back, having to compose himself before he got lost in your gaze.

he then gave you said cue, and the two of you strummed the beginning chords together. nothing except the comforting sounds of the notes filling the atmosphere around you two. and as the two of you continued, bakugou found a smile beginning to grow on his sharp features. he didn’t bother to try and stop it, either.

why would he? he’d never thought that he’d enjoy these moments with you as much as he did. whenever you two would have these one on one’s, he felt as if time was of no essence; as if nothing and nobody else mattered except the two of you. by the time the song ended, the boy was full on grinning.

“that was good!” you beamed at him, “what did you think?”

bakugou nodded, “you did- i mean we did great. it sounded amazing.”

“ready to go?” you asked as you began to pack up.

he nodded silently as he did the same.

“you don’t have to talk me home this time, i can tell you’re tired.” you told him before you exited.

“you sure?” he questioned. he would feel somewhat guilty if you were to walk home alone in the dark, but you assured him that it was okay. then, you bid your goodbye’s and you gave him a short hug, eventually the two of you locked up the store and parted ways.

the night of the performance, you found yourself backstage with the rest of your friends and the people on stage wrapped up their set.

“you guys nervous?” kaminari asked as he paced back and forth, he couldn’t seem to keep himself still.

“not gonna lie...” jirou began, “kinda... i mean, this place is much bigger than the last, and who knows who could be out there.”

mina perked up, “you’re right! that’s all the more reason to do our bests. we’ve all worked our asses off these past three weeks, and it shows. it doesn’t matter how good or bad someone else thinks we sound, because at the end of the day, nobody else’s opinion matters but ours. plus we sound fucking amazing, so fuck any and everybody who says we don’t.”

“mina is right. we’ve all made amazing progress, and we sound amazing,” bakugou spoke up, “there’s no reason to be nervous. so... just don’t fuck it up on the day it actually counts.”

a couple of laughs were shared at bakugou’s attempt at a pep talk, and then, as if on cue, your band name was announced onstage, signalling for you all to come on out. you looked over at bakugou, who for some reason was already looking at you, and smiled and encouraging smile. one to which his face couldn’t help but soften at.

when the six of you made it to the front stage, there was a welcoming applause. you all waved at the faces in the crowd before taking your places and getting everything set.

moments later, you were ready, and bakugou was giving his famous drummer count off.

the beat was slow and comforting. you could hear each note that everyone was playing perfectly. you swayed to the sound the instruments made while simultaneously trying to keep the note up on your own. then, you took a step toward the microphone and began to sing the first lyrics.

your voice come out smooth, as if it was some type of silk. although you were nervous as shit, you made it seem effortless. with mina and jirou’s supporting vocals in the background, everything sounded heavenly; just as you knew it would.

bakugou however, could only focus on the sound of your voice. he couldn’t hear anything else but the sound of you singing. in his eyes, nobody else was in the room besides you and him, and he swore thinking about the current situation in that way made him less nervous. watching you sway left and right as the next lyrics rolled off your tongue readily with your eyes closed and the stage lights shining on you just right? you looked incredible.

“secrets i have held in my heart, are harder to hide than i thought. maybe, i just wanna be yours,”

the sirens in the blonde boys head were once again going crazy, and as he leaned up to his mic for leading vocals, he felt as if his heart was going to beat out of his chest. he was absolutely positive that everyone in the audience could see how hard he was staring at you.

the thoughts of your one on one’s, your smile and you in general swarmed his thoughts, and by this point, he wanted nothing more than to be yours and yours only.

“ i wanna be your setting lotion, hold your hair in deep devotion. at least as deep as the pacific ocean; i wanna be yours.”

the whole time you sang, you felt eyes boring into the back of your head, but you knew who it was. bakugou staring at you as if you might disappear if he looked away may or may not have put a tinge of confidence in your play style as well as the way you sang.

oh, and the crowd? they loved it.

the loved the song, they loved the way you all played. you all could tell they were really enjoying this.

soon the song ended and the audience gave you the applause you all deserved. you grinned as you all made your ways backstage where you all joined in a group hug.

“oh, y/n you did great !” kirishima complimented you, putting a hand on your shoulder.

“me?! you guys sounded amazing, don’t give me all the credit !” you gushed.

eventually, the group dispersed, and bakugou saw this as his chance to approach you. he was sweating, and he had no idea if it was because of the stuffiness of the air backstage or if he was genuinely nervous about what he was planning on doing. “y/n,” he started.

you looked up from your phone, eyes brightening as they made contact with bakugou’s own, “oh, bakugou, you did really good out there y’know? you were the main one i heard when you guys did the back-up vocals. you sounded amazing.” you praised.

“oh shut up, it was all you. your voice is gorgeous, y’know.” he stated.

you felt your cheeks heat up at his words, something about bakugou complimenting you in such a way made you feel warm inside, “thank you. that means alot coming from you.”

“i- uh... i still have one question...” the boy quipped

“go on.”

“who? who was the song about... you never told me.”

you felt a small smirk find it’s way onto your lips, “and who did you say you thought the song was about?”

bakugou swallowed hardly, “m- me.” he said, clearing his throat mid-way through.

“and what if i told you it was?” you implied, inching your face closer to his.

you watched bakugou’s cheeks turn pink before he replied, “i’d say... i wanna be yours.”

you took that as your invite to connect your lips together. the moment bakugou felt your warm lips on his, he didn’t waste another second before he kissed you back. you ran a hand up the back of his head as the kiss continued, and bakugou swore he was in heaven.

once you broke away, you looked at him with a teasing smile, “you be mine, and i’ll be yours?”

“deal.”

i had absolutely no idea ho to end this, but i hope you enjoyed <3

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugou imagine #bakugou fluff #mha bakugou #bakugou fanfiction #mha #mha fanfiction #bnha fluff #fluff

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bella-donna418 · 3 years

Text

Happy Birthday Eren!

A/N: Been very half inactive here 💀💀💀

So it’s our special boy’s birthday today, I might as well make a headcanon like how I did with Mikasa and Falco's birthday (missed Annie’s birthday but like, I celebrated her bday IRL 😂😂😂)

And…

Actors AU again wew 😂😂😂

(Please don’t mind the timeskips)

~~~

Birthday boy's day today, so might as well make something for him 👉👈

Let’s go!

Mikasa was literally sitting at the nearest chair she could find in the set and of course;

It's her boyfriend’s birthday today and there’s no fucking way she'll forget about it.

But she can’t just let him get away without revenge!

That’s right, last time on her and Falco's birthday—Eren pranked them.

At least they got surprises and all—

But that’s not the point!

She needs to at least prank him back—worse than what he did. (evil ik 😔😔😔

But he did “indirectly” made her cry that time.

So she decided she’ll also prank him back then surprise him.

An idea then popped into her mind and she couldn’t help but grin to herself.

“Mikasa!” Sasha called, snapping her back to reality from her ‘annual brainstorming’.

She shook her head and looked at her, confused.

“Director is calling you.” She said while munching on a cinnamon bun (usual Sasha)

“Right.” She smiled sheepishly and stood up.

After finishing her scenes and all, she got back to brainstorming.

Oh, it’s also her break time so she could go wherever she wants, but she decided to stay and think for a while more.

Then an idea popped into her mind and she couldn’t help but laugh a bit to herself. And that prank was her ignoring Eren 😈😈😈 Knowing him, he wouldn’t care if other people ignored him. But he'd be worried asf and he could go crazy if she did (your Eren cares about Mikasa’s attention “only” your honor 😔😔😔) And the beautiful cruel woman mode is on. Eren was going to pick her up today for lunch since he also finished his tapings and all (also Armin and Annie's with him) He got out to wait and greet her like he always does. ~~~

Earlier…

Since EreMika and AruAni share a car (lol cuz why not?), knowing that Annie and is the earliest to finish.

Mikasa decided to call her, knowing that she’s the earliest to finish out of all of them, and Armin's probably busy at that time.

“Yo, Annie!” She casually said trying to stifle her laughter (Annie knows what’s up lol)

“What? You’re gonna ask another favor again?” (told ya)

“Can’t I just greet my friend? 🥺” Annie sighs over the phone and said, “What is it?”

Now this is when it gets ✨interesting✨

She told Annie all her plans and she decided to go along with it.

“Oh, tell Armin as well.” where she just received a hum as a reply.

Mikasa saw a glimpse of Eren at the entrance of the building and immediately went somewhere she can’t be seen.

The prank starts now 🤡

She immediately composed herself and put on her poker face.

Eren saw her from afar and smiled at her.

She literally feels sorry for him (😂😂😂)

~~~

5 mins earlier…

She was now facing the camera and she could tell that once Eren watches this he'll go “berserk”. (wild Eren 🤡🤡🤡)

“Eren, if you ever see this, I'm sorry. *awkward laugh* Happy birthday to you my loves. I love you.” (literally said that 😂😂😂)

She passed by him without even saying anything—she’s not even smiling! (Mikasa putting years of being a top actress to work here 😂😂😂)

Eren just looked at her confused and caught up to her side.

She won’t look at him and this made Eren a bit sad and more confused.

From what he remembers, they never argued or anything at all.

He's also wondering, ‘Is she ignoring me?’ ‘Is she in a bad mood?’

Going with the second option, he decided to give her time and space like what he thought she needed.

They got inside the car. (well the car is actually like a van, but let me call it a car ok??? 🤡)

Ok, their sitting arrangement is basically like this;

Eren and Mikasa

Annie and Armin

Ok back to the topic—

Annie and Armin were looking at them—well, especially Eren.

“Annie, water.” She looked at Annie who was literally skeptical about her lasting long or even not laughing.

She gave Mikasa her water bottle receiving a smile of thanks from her—Eren looking at his lovely bae (poor Eren 🥺)

Heads up! Everyone knew about it, and yes, when I say everyone, it’s everyone (ok wtf am I even saying?)

So, they were silent for the whole ride and nobody’s talking.

Annie's asleep on Armin's shoulder while he’s busy on his phone.

Eren was stealing glances at Mikasa while she’s also on her phone.

Please, his face is like, “Please notice me already. I love you 🥺👉👈”

If you’re wondering where they’re headed to, they’re going to a restaurant Annie wanted to try (but she’s too shy to ask to the point Armin instantly read her mind and she’s like “H-huh? I said nothing—“) which is also far from their workplace/s.

After a mere hour and a half, they finally arrived at the restaurant, and yay, everyone’s awake! (Kudos to the 3 henchmen for enduring the urge to sleep the entire ride, especially Mikasa)

It’s a fine-dining restaurant (rich bitches 😔)

So they found a table which is good for all of them (driver and assistant included)

To add salt to the wound, Mikasa decided to sit beside Annie (Armin letting her)

Eren only looked at her—not used to getting ignored this long. Why exactly? Because;

She doesn’t ignore him without any reason at all.

If ever they get in an argument, they’d make up and her ignoring him won’t even last for a mere hour or so because y'know.

She has NEVER ignored him this long.

Eren just shrugged it off, but he doesn’t feel good about this.

A waiter finally came to take their orders.

They each had different foods and since Armin was the one to bring them here (Annie's wallet gets saved by bae 🥺), he's the one to pay for all of them which he doesn’t mind at all.

Mikasa was quite clingy to Annie as well while she just went with the flow knowing it’s all needed for her prank.

Even though she’s questioning if it’s really necessary 🙃

After 10 minutes, their orders are finally here!

And of course, hunger doesn’t wait for any kind of bullshit ceremony and all so digging in they go 🍽🍽

They were a few conversations, Armin initiating them because Eren is too quiet (just a few more hours to endure 🥺) and Mikasa doesn’t want to initiate them and cut Eren off because he’s always the one to reply to her topics (it could come off as rude 😅😅)

And of course, everything was being filmed (yes, their assistant is also a videographer 😗✌)

So it’s basically 85% silence and eating (pls they just need a speaker and it’s gonna turn into an ASMR) while 15% are their conversations/topics 🤡

Eren is also on his phone while eating (ok I can tell ppl gonna yell at me for this 🤡)

And Mikasa's taking this opportunity to take glances at him and she couldn’t help but literally laugh to herself and look at the camera then mouth ‘sorry’

Annie's still skeptical and Armin is trying his best not to laugh or something I mean, Eren's still looking gloomy (fact: he doesn’t care it’s his birthday at all and just cares about Mikasa and all)

After a few minutes, they finished and have paid so they’re now on their way back. But the thing is… ~~~

Sasha cam

“Yo, they’re almost back.” She said after looking at her own phone and seeing Mikasa's message.

They immediately went on double-time mode and so far, the room's looking quite ready 🤭

And since they’re freer later at night, they decided to do the surprise that time (poor Mikasa gotta endure more of this torture prank she put upon herself 🤡)

And of course, Sasha’s filming this ✌ ~~~

7:36 p.m

They’re finally free from the shackles of work!

And yes, they’re immediately headed for phase 2 of the surprise for our birthday boy.

So, trying not to encounter Eren, Mikasa immediately headed to the place where she’s going to meet Niccolo to give her the cake (yes, they planned this carefully)

So she finally got the cake and she's on her spot (they all have different spots 😂)

They’re now all on standby and of course, Mikasa went to Zeke so he could bring Eren to the lovely spot since yeah—

About 2 minutes passed and they’re still on standby—and finally, Eren's here!

Eren didn’t even hesitate to open the door and when he did, his eyes widened a bit.

“Surprise!” Everyone greeted him but his eyes were just locked at a Mikasa holding his birthday cake and smiling sheepishly at him.

She handed the cake to Ymir and Eren immediately ran to her —hugging her (he's glad that his suffering is over 🥺)

Mikasa laughed and hugged him back and whispered “Happy birthday” to him.

He broke the hug and pulled her in for a swift kiss making Mikasa surprised.

“Are we gonna eat now? Sasha might finish all of this if Niccolo will keep giving her free servings.” Ymir retorted making everyone laugh.

“Geez, I wasn’t expecting her to ignore him for a full day.” Historia sighed a bit which made Mikasa laugh lightly.

Eren looked at Mikasa with his brows furrowed a bit and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Don’t do that again—” He was cut off by Annie who was now in charge of holding the cake (Ymir do be passing all her chores 🤡)

“Blow the candles now birthday boy.” She said—him complying while arms still around Mikasa—everyone making noises with party blowers while spraying silly strings everywhere after (bear the bad writing 😂)

“Alright! Let’s eat!” Pieck said while giving plates, spoons, and forks to everyone for all of them to finally be able to eat.

Of course, Niccolo is the sponsor for all of their food to eat 😂

Eren was now being a clingy baby to Mikasa which is just 🥺✨

The atmosphere was filled with laughter and everyone telling funny stories and jokes.

Of course, afterward, they gave him their gifts while he smirked and was like, “Mikasa's the best gift—” receiving a smack on the head from her—everyone laughing saying he deserved it.

~~~

A/N: I, personally think this is poorly written 🤡

Sorry bout that.

But overall, happy birthday Eren! YOU’RE 20 NOW AND STILL ASSLESS— 🤡😂

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mmvalentine · 3 years

Note

Ik this is not an entirely feysand centric one but could you please write something about the time when Rhys came back to the Night Court after UTM and meet IC and about how things would have been for the next three months until he crashed Feyre's wedding? Like there are a few fics about this but they all focus just on the moment when Rhys comes back and tells Mor that Feyre's his mate. I would really like to read the bat boys' reaction on seeing each other and Amren's and all of them discussing everything and them just being there for Rhys, because actually no one really talks about this and Rhys went through so damn much and he deserves all the love and care and attention.

Aw man look I can’t spend too long on this because it breaks my heart. I love Rhys so much and I just want him to be happy, and my favourite way to do this is to give him a Feyre!! But hmm let’s give it a go, I don’t know about three months but I think I could do one...

Rhys winnowed.

It had been fifty years since he had set foot in the Night Court, and over the years he actually had tried not to think about it too much. Not when it caused a gaping hole in his chest to picture home. Not when the years under Aramantha’s heel stretched before him like the open maw of the Middengard Wyrm, and to consider anything else was a dream too savage to bear.

So when everything was over, he didn’t pause to recommence hoping. He just winnowed. And landed in the town house, folding space but when he landed, blinking on the familiar pattered rug, it felt more like he had folded time.

Especially when he looked up, and four pairs of familiar eyes stared back at him like he was a ghost.

On reflection, Rhys supposed he probably was a ghost, to them. Too pale, too thin, too long gone. It suddenly occurred to him that they may have wanted some warning, before he appeared here in the house and in their lives. He clamped down on the rolling nausea that rose up his throat.

"Honeys, I’m home,” he said, trying for nonchalance.

For a second they just continued gaping at him, and then the horrible thought arose, that maybe after fifty years of desertion, they didn’t want him here at all.

Cassian broke first. He launched himself at Rhys, his thick arms encircling him and half-choking him as he sobbed into his brother’s neck. The sound was alarmingly loud in Rhys’ ear. Then Azriel clamped a hand down on his shoulder, and next Mor was wrapping her arms around all three of them. He met her eyes, bright with wordless tears, and didn’t know what to say.

“It’s been too long, High Lord,” was all Amren said, as she watched the group hug from her seat at the table.

Relief hit Rhys like a sledge hammer then, and his knees buckled. His family held him up.

After the initial shock had subsided, everyone spent the afternoon fussing over Rhys. He was fed, patted, and wrapped in blankets, and the feeling of being coddled was at once deeply uncomfortable and startlingly nice. He felt like crying, and that in itself was strange. Rhys hadn’t cried in three hundred years. So when it got very late and Amren announced that they all needed some sleep, he was somewhat glad to be away from them for a while. And somewhat dreading it.

Of course, in the end he wasn’t away from them at all. Everyone agreed with Amren, and had trudged upstairs with him. Piled into Rhys’ bed, widened it with magic and slept around him like they wanted to be sure he wasn’t going anywhere. Cassian and Azriel shoved in next to him just like when they were in the camp barrcks. Mor was not far away, just behind Cass. Even Amren curled up in the chair in the corner, her silver eyes glowing like a cat.

Rhys wouldn’t tell them, but he didn’t sleep a wink that night. Just stared at the ceiling of his own bedroom, listening to the deep and varied patterns of everyone’s breathing, and wondered at the tears that finally tumbled down his face in the dark.

Over the next few weeks, the inner circle tried to go back to normal. It was as much as Rhys had asked, at breakfast that first morning. But of course, things weren’t normal. Not for him and not for Velaris.

Everyone found excuses to be around Rhys. Cassian needed a sparring partner who didn’t piss him off as much as Azriel. Azriel had serious concerns about the Nightmare Court and what Mor’s family were doing in his absence. Mor needed Rhys’ advice on how to deal with Amren when she got stubborn. And Amren was sick of them all and had a list of requests that Rhys enact starting with firing the entire inner circle and appointing herself as sole advisor. All in all, Rhys was not left alone for one minute that first month he was there, and although it grated at first after so many months of isolation Under the Mountain, he realised he needed to catch up on time with his family as much as they needed to be around him.

It wasn’t that nobody asked him what had happened Under the Mountain. It was more that Rhys didn’t volunteer the information, and his friends were concerned but never pushed too hard. With all the wars they had each been through, they had come to an understanding that sometimes, what one needed was the comfort of routine and the constant stability of friends. Sometimes, words came slower and needed to arrive in their own time. And Rhys appreciated this. He wouldn’t know where to start.

Walking around Velaris was another thing that shocked him. He had been hoping and praying that his people would not have felt abandoned by him. But when he stepped out onto the streets for the first time, he was swamped in adoration. And he was entirely unprepared for it.

People clasped his hands, kissed his fingers, bowed low to the ground. Everyone was so grateful to him for shielding them from Aramantha, and Rhys was floored. He had assumed no one knew where he was. Certainly he would have not chosen to tell them himself, but somehow word had gotten around that he was the one keeping them safe. The admiration was overwhelming, and soon Rhys found himself stripping off his coat and sitting down with people rather than passing through like some kind of saint. That was too much.

So instead, he spent time with people. Shared meals, played games of chess, kicked a ball with a group of children. And all the while his friends stuck near him- Amren beat everyone at chess. Cassian helped serve food. Azriel played goalie. Mor laughed at people’s jokes. And by the time he got home, his heart was so full.

Until he climbed into bed.

After four weeks, he made everyone else go back to their own rooms. He never quite managed to sleep while they were there. Once, he had dozed off, but fitted awake with terror cold around his throat. He had been convinced he was waking from a dream that he had returned, and would find himself back in Aramantha’s bedroom. So when he saw his friends around him, he was relieved, at first. Then he worried about what would happen if his dreams got out of control and he lashed out or screamed or woke them all up. So with some effort, he convinced them to all go back to their own houses. When he found out they had all moved into the townhouse the day he was taken and stayed waiting for him, he felt doubly as bad and shooed them all of. As an order.

That night he relaxed into his bed, glad of a bit of space and privacy.

And woke, drenched in sweat and fighting for breath.

Rhys opened his eyes in a fog of swirling darkness, that seemed to be leaking from his own pores. For awful minutes, he didn’t know which way was up, fell through black smoke and clutched at his throat trying to find air. Eventually, he fell off the bed and thudded hard enough onto his back that his body was shocked, and was able to drag in lungfuls of oxygen. The blackness fell away and he lay panting on the floor for a half hour before climbing wearily back into bed.

But nightmares were nothing new to him. Not since sleeping Under the Mountain.

In the morning, Rhys sat in his bathtub with his eyes closed. He wondered if he was ever going to be able to wash away the film of filth that Aramantha’s fingers had trailed over his skin. Some days, he’d scrub and scrub and not be able to get rid of the slime. It was only the distraction of being around the inner circle that made him forget about it.

Today, he just sat, and let it be. Let his mind wander. Until he realised it was being tugged in one specific direction, and observed with curiosity as his thoughts floated to the Spring Court. To the little Cursebreaker, who, now that he thought about it, was about due for her first visit.

Now, in his mind she appeared. Tiny slip of a thing, rolling around in Tamlin’s garden. Different now that she was fae, and yet familiar to him as his own dreams. The bargain they had struck would itself round his wrist and Rhys chuckled to himself. One little tug and she’d be right here, in his bathroom. Bargains were funny things.

And then there was that thing under the bargain- that sliver of gold, that curious thread that bound them together. Mating bond. Rhys shoved away from the thought. It was not worth considering, not worth torturing himself. What were the odds- that he’d find his mate at five hundred years old, only for her to be in love with someone else.

Still, he’d seen the mating bond go wrong. It had destroyed his mother, and there was no way he’d ever inflict that on a female himself. So he turned away from her. Was never planning on actually calling in that bargain they had made, but despite himself still rather enjoyed the thought of it being marked on her skin.

Rhys hauled himself out of the bathtub, shaking his head. He pulled the walls of his mental shield down tightly, not giving into the temptation to peek into Feyre’s mind. He would behave. He would keep those shields firm.

But not before one single thought slipped under. Almost nothing. Just a sigh. Just his name, in Feyre’s husky, vanilla flavoured voice.

Rhys.

Rhys froze. Stood perfectly still for another minute, but nothing more came his way. So he towelled off, put on his clothes, and went to meet his family for breakfast. He had managed to get them to all sleep in their own beds- but they still arrived promptly every morning at his breakfast table.

****

Was that okay?! Sorry it’s not usually my thing... haha you guys are challenging me with these prompts! But also it’s been fun interacting with you all, keep sending them my way :D

TAGLIST: @ghostlyrose2 @highladysith @stardelia @feysand-babies @tillyrubes10 @ratabrasileira @live-the-fangirl-life @maybekindasortaace @annejulianneh111 @thebonecarver @rowaelinismyotp @loosingdreams @whythefuckdoiexist (sorry guys if you don’t want to be tagged in the prompts do let me know)

MASTERLIST

#asks #prompt #prompt fill #feysand sort of?#acotar #mine

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dreamerandcrazy · 3 years

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how high is the probability that soo-won is canonically gay? tbh it it would just make so much sense. soo-won loved yona but really he had eyes for hak since young... i just wish that in the eventual soohak reunion (kusa WHERE IS IT) that they'll acknowledge this fact somehow. that hak is still and forever will be soo-won's goal

Oh, anon, you have no idea how much feelings and ideas I have regarding SooHak, but when it comes to Soo Won’s sexuality, I am in the dark just as every other reader, because sadly we don’t have much insight/p.o.v. from Soo Won himself, and I think that’s on purpose and something Kusanagi is saving for later. However, he mentioned once that he didn’t feel love romantically, but he did like people, and Kusanagi also implied he wasn’t interested in romance during the high school omake, so there’s a chance he could maybe be asexual/aromantic? But he has blushed before whenever someone put him in the spot, like Yona in ch. 1, and when Lili threatened to say he was in a brothel, I think during Sei or Xing arc. So I think there’s a little bit of chance he could be, but the chances of him being asexual are definitely higher. But like you said, if Kusanagi decided to write in canon that Soo Won is gay period, it would also make sense, align with past moments that have made us raise our eyebrows, and it wouldn’t affect the story or his personality, except for other than giving us much needed insight on what goes inside Soo Won’s mind.

(I talk a lot about SooHak underneath, so I put it under a keep reading, lol).

It’s important to note that it’s very much canon that he still cares for/loves Hak and Yona, despite everything that’s happened. However, I do get the feeling that the love he has for Hak is slightly different from the love he has for Yona. It’s very interesting how since the start, Soo Won has kept his emotions in check around Yona and co., but like Zeno said, his face just looks more human around Hak. I guess maybe because Hak has always been the most normal part of it all for Soo Won, since they were kids, which is why I get the feeling that they were closer. They raised Gulfan together, they trusted each other more than anyone, and can read each other so well they were able to know what the other was thinking through a single look. The only time in the manga both of them were seen crying, truly crying over adult emotions, was because of each other. Soo Won wasn’t able to raise a sword to defend himself against Hak when they reunited in Nadai arc, but his hands automatically flew to his sword the moment he saw Hak in danger during the battle in Sei. It’s like a quote from a gifset I reblogged recently, “People change, but habits don’t”. Or even as Ik-Soo himself said, “some love cannot be discarded,” and I think that was as true for Yona then as it is for Soo Won and Hak. They both can try themselves their best to convince they no longer care for one another, and will be ok if the other dies, but we have seen that that’s not true.

Also it’s interesting, like you said, anon, sometimes I get the feeling that Hak is still Soo Won’s goal, but like in a dormant way. Soo Won seeks for the power of the humans, and nobody embodies that as much as Hak, in the story. We have seen since the start that Soo Won admired Hak, and wanted to be like him, so I feel like that feeling is still there. They both literally wanted to be on an equal footing just so they could walk side by side, and that is a powerful want, to have someone mean so much to you that you are motivated by them, which is why their dynamic is probably one of the most interesting for me, whether it’s platonic or romantic. But we shall see how it goes. Many fans have been theorizing that in the next chapter or 204, Soo Won might go to see Hak, and I think that’s something the story really needs right now. They have been avoiding each other for over 200 chapters now, and they’re getting to a point where they can no longer do that. I think Hak has come very far in the manga and is also in a point where he’s willing to listen to what Soo Won has to say; prior to this castle arc, people liked to say he was narrow-minded and refused to see meaning in Soo Won’s actions, but Hak only had the grasp of what he’d seen that night: that Soo Won killed Il and was willing to kill Yona as well, after presenting her with that hairpin. He had no idea about what happened to Yu-Hon, or any of what happened in the past, so from that point of view, Soo Won had usurped the throne and wanted to destroy the evidence of him (Yona seeing what happened). The fact that Soo Won also said “the Soo Won you knew never existed” definitely didn’t help Hak see his side, giving him the impression that their friendship had been a lie since the beginning. And thus, his heart shattered into a million pieces. And he had to live with that hurt and betrayal every day to himself, to the point where it was suffocating him and he broke down completely when he and Soo Won came face to face in Nadai. But like I said, he has come a long way since then, and now he has some idea of what happened and Soo Won’s real reasoning for killing Il, so their next conversation, which I pray happens soon, might come more easily, but that will also depend on what Soo Won will be willing to say. Let’s remind ourselves that Soo Won has expressed he is ready to live an unhappy life, and is not exactly desperate to explain himself to Yona and Hak nor ask for their forgiveness, even if his heart longs so much for his old friends. He’s that kind of character that doesn’t mind being seen as the bad guy so long as he can get the job done, which is one of the many layers of his character that we’ve seen over and over in the manga.

I am sorry this answer was so long, but like I said, I have a lot of feelings regarding SooHak and I really need them to talk it out soon. I’m sorry if something I expressed about Soo Won is not to your liking or to anyone else’s, but this is my point of view from what I could get from the manga. SooHak is the kind of relationship that works just as well for whatever it’s meant to be, but I have a feeling Kusanagi will leave us in the dark about that one and let us believe it is what we wanna believe it is. At first I was 50/50 about Soo Won dying, I still think it’s a possibility, but now it’s no longer one I necessarily would like to see happen. I want him to make things right with Yona and Hak before the manga ends, and beat this crimson illness. I think a fresh start is something he definitely needs for himself, he was robbed of his childhood when he was only 9 and was pushed into a role he didn’t exactly want, so I would like to see him come to terms with that and close that page, and begin living the life he wanted to live before all this.

Tl;dr; I think Soo Won might be asexual, but his feelings for Hak are definitely still an important part of his character arc that I believe we will see more of. But how Kusanagi will go about them, we can only wonder. Thank you so much for the ask, I really needed to let this all out lmao, and for anyone who disagrees with what I said, please just do me a favor and ignore this post because I really don’t wish to be part of discourse. Soo Won is a character that’s hard to read, and maybe my view of who he is can be different from someone else’s, so let’s be grown ups about it and just respect each other’s opinions and agree to disagree.

#asks #soohak #soo won #son hak #akatsuki no yona

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fairycosmos · 3 years

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chloe we are moots but im on anon because i dont want u 2 think im trying 2 tell u how 2 live ur life or run ur blog or cope or that im holding empty care because that isnt the case...but i do think u should maybe consider turning off anon (ironic, ik) or even asks altogether because u really do not need anons feeding into ur bad feelings or suicidal ideations...ik things are shit and im so sorry ur suffering so much and ik u like answering asks but ppl who send shit like that dont gaf abt u :/

yeah i can totally see what you mean and i absolutely hear u!! i really wouldn’t get offended by some 1 esp a mutual being honest with me if they’ve got my best interests at heart. dw it’s clear you’re completely well intentioned and also super perceptive realizing stuff abt this that i myself didn’t even catch myself. i’m prob naïve as fuck but i kind of just saw it as us complaining to each other about being suicidal since we’re both in the same place mentally jfkdlsaz 😬 but ya it’s a bit questionable idk the way some of its phrased, i think it could be going too far sometimes. ig it’s on me what i acknowledge though but that part of my brain is obviously drawn to encouragement and like the normalization of my shitty feelings/suicidal thoughts. idk though i don’t want to turn ask off entirely cuz i feel like we talk about so many interesting topics. for now i could just stop responding to the ones that explicitly and consistently bring up suicide, if i can. idk though, that stresses me out too bc i don’t want ppl in that place to feel ignored. i’ll give it some solid thought for a few days and see where i land. i know it seems dumb but i just feel like i have nobody else to talk to honestly. family and professional help are just not even on the table. ik ppl who message me are often in the same boat. it’s nice to be able to have a conversation ab these things. and they are right with what they’re saying so what if ignoring them is just like, denying reality. i’m conflicted even though i know that must seem weird. if it gets too much i’ll take a step back from it for sure though like im pretty certain of that, i’ve done it before. thank you love i really mean it!! <3 if i teared up reading ur follow-up ask it’s bc i didn’t. really appreciate you and your consideration for my well-being, you honestly have my whole heart <3 all my love 2 you x

#tw suicide #anon #i mean this very sincerely and non-patronizingly omg hope it comes across that way

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majicmarker · 3 years

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so i’ve had a lot on my mind lately — the good, the bad, the ugly, you know the drill. i’m used to the bad and the ugly, but i think (and ofc by my therapist’s rec) i need to give a little credit to the good, too. not to mention the good is largely comprised of people, and those people deserve a sports stadium wave, yk? idk shit abt sports, whatever, but i know what the wave is and it’s like the grandest gesture i can think of, SO

listen, y’all. to get real here, i hate fandom. my time spent therein has been hit-or-miss, but the misses got me hard and contributed to some major self-loathing, etc etc. we’re not gonna get into the specifics, i don’t owe that to anyone, but suffice it to say things got Rough.

but so much of it can be so, so good. and rn i want to keep on my rose-colored glasses, and the rosiest parts for me have always been @kitten1618x and @mygutsforgarters

(quite a few others, too, but i no longer have everyone’s info. and some ppl are newer friends, or relationships that have moved more slowly. i have mad love for u guys too, obvs, but ik melissa and gus irl so we know each other More and they’re who this post is rly about atm. pls know i don’t want to harsh on anyone’s feelings)

the tl;dr version of events is i met them both via fanfic. i happened upon theirs like “bitch!!!! **i** wanna do this, they’re bomb as hell” and then i made them be friends w me. they’ll tell you they wanted to be friends w me first, but that’s not important bc **i** am the one making this post, so they can both like,, suck it.

ANYWAY.

@ melissa : so bitch listen. here’s the thing abt melissa…… i found her while browsing jonsa fic back when i cared abt GOT, and she brought me back to what i loved so much abt romance when i first started, way back in junior high, what’s up. i bad a fascination w historial romantic epics for a loooooong time — those formative yrs, amirite ladies??? — but girl i could never write it so well as melissa. immediately she struck this balance between the drama you expect from historicals and the levity of a good romance, and i was just like, “hand to god this woman must be published already, surely???”

(she’s not, but that’s ridiculous so we’re gonna skip that)

(also she’s busy?? we’ve been friends for like six years and i will never know how many kids she actually has, but the point is she’s a goddamn superhero and i’m obsessed w her, MOVING ON)

i just Had to be her friend for two reasons: 1) she’s too talented, and b) i have said that abt 2 ppl my entire life and she was the first, so i was like, “AH YES MY HOLY GRAIL”

so ofc i slid into her DMs just as effectively as that one guy i had a crush on when i was sixteen and he’s still shooting me texts every valentine’s day bc of the societal pressures i guess (it is Far Less Effective these days, he’s my age and therefore too young for me, gross, but i digress), except me and melissa go way stronger.

she reminded me of why, half a lifetime ago, i started writing romance — bc it’s fun, bc i want to. bc i can do absolutely anything i want, bc who else is gonna read it but me and whoever i share it with? it was all up to me what i wanted to do with it, and i could do anything. nothing really mattered but what i wanted, and i hadn’t felt that way abt anything in such a long time — let alone abt something i used to love so much.

melissa’s writing is so beautiful, it’s everything i wanted to achieve when i was fifteen and never got around to perfecting. and i’m totally okay w that now, bc what do i need to do myself that she’s not already doing/wants to do in the future? when i found melissa’s writing i found a missing part of me — a part i’d maybe lost, maybe i gave it up, idk, but it was totally gone until i found her fics and they fucking clicked. i had to reach out bc there was a part of me that was a part of her, and she helped me find that again w/o even knowing it.

so i found melissa via GOT, and from the start she’d been trying to get me to write some bethyl. years and years, she dropped not-so-subtle hints — and by “hints,” i mean legit directives that i watch just enough TWD to write her some beth/daryl fic. real crafty, she is.

eventually the stars aligned: i was bored w the same dynamics i’d been writing for years, i wanted smthn new, i was restless, i was line editing a bethyl fic she’d written, and — again — this shit clicked. her fic made me want to explore this dynamic i’d never done before, so i watched the prerequisite episodes (no more than that tho, i super hate the show and i’m begging y’all to not @ me abt it anymore). i found smthn that i’d been missing, smthn that challenged and excited me and brought me back around to why i love romance and, more importantly, why i want to write it myself.

so as i was starting to write bethyl, i was poking around the ao3 tag to get a feel for what had been done, what hadn’t, anything i might be missing. and goddamn BAM —

@ gus : this is where u enter dramatically thru a red velvet curtain that i don’t wanna touch (Metaphorically bc you do romance better than me and i’m cool w that bc your talent simply Cannot be touched, and Literally bc i hate velvet) — i was like, “please for the love of god let her want to write contemporary romance, i need some good fckin food”

i happened upon “doo wah diddy diddy” first. ofc the summary hooked me, forget my usual hard no against pregnancy fics (i have issues w pregnancy and that’s all anybody Needs to know, back off), but This Bitch !!!!!!! has a way with words and i wanted to be friends w her straightaway. lmao too bad for her, now she’s stuck w me

gus’s fics gave me what i wanted without having to write it myself. her style is so distinctive, she hits the notes between porn and Actual Affection that is missing from uhhhh, every romance i’ve tried?? (why is everyone so intent on the sex part?? fckin chill. at best it’s unrelatable and at worst u sound like u’d rather wear someone than fuck them, check urself)

she writes w such care, she wants you to know what she’s doing here, and what she’s doing here is combining the physical and emotional needs of both characters w/o infringing on anyone’s comfortability. you root for these characters bc they simply want to be together, no strings (and if there are strings, damn, they talk abt it).

gus makes you believe in love in the modern age. like, not to sound like one of those ppl who post fckin “no one in this generation knows how to love!!!1!!11!!” memes on facebook, those are dumb, but gus’s writing made me think “yeah man, love ain’t dead, it’s just abt how we approach it.”

(if y’all haven’t guessed yet, i have some hang-ups abt relationships. i’ve goddamn earned those. but melissa and gus both brought me back to where i needed to be — in this place where, yeah, we’ve got some shit to deal with, but we all still deserve the things we want, and those things are achievable. i could not have gotten here without them, so jot that down.)

gus is Real, she’s funny, she’s unapologetic in the way she writes. ofc she has her personal hurdles, but who doesn’t?? and tbh nobody writes a sex scene like gus does. physical, realistic, but balanced w the emotional depth that makes you root for these characters bc you can Feel how much they want each other — not just sexually, but in the less-erotic aftermath of that passion. it continues to blow my mind, bc i’ve never seen anyone do what she does. i can’t even pinpoint the specifics, bc she just… Does It. and you’re reading it like “yeah bitch that’s it,” and That’s It.

it’s fckin wild.

these two — my best friends, the lights of my life, both of whom always make me crave chicken tenders at THE most inconvenient hours bc somehow we always talk abt chicken or ice cream or ultimately DQ, but they're both so hot idec — have something special.

i really, really want them both to know that: it’s not just in how they’ve treated me as a friend, but who they are as people, in their creative pursuits. i’ve never known support the way they’ve shown me; i’ve never known this much enthusiasm or investment or belief that i can do what i want with my talent. i want them to know that i feel the same way abt them and their works.

sometimes, when i look back at their writing that completely kicked my ass, i still can’t believe that they’ve become two of my best friends. it’s totally bonkers. they’re This Talented, and they wanna be friends w my spastic ass? GIRL. i’m out.

i’m not always the best at being present, at giving people what they need when they need it. but with everything that melissa and gus have given me in the past few years, i need them to know this — honey!!! i need all y’all to know this, bc i know fandom shit is hard, but you should know some of these friendships are so, so worth all that bullshit, so —

they have so much to give, so much to say, so much to offer. i could not have kept going without them. i couldn’t believe in myself without the faith they’ve given to me. i hope that i can always give that same faith right back.

and that, babes, is what real soulmates are all about.

#i just love them whoops my hand slipped #the majnificent adventures #gus tag #@ melissa wtf is our tag we had like five #how do i not remember five things #anyway i got into my feelings tnt don’t @ me

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julsjoons · 3 years

Text

so last night i was looking through old messages and deleting convos bc it was taking up my storage. i happened to find a conversation me and my best friends had about a year ago.

now fyi, a year ago i was probably in the worst mental state of my life, like to the point where i no longer wanted to exist and it was not only affecting me but those around me such as my family and friends.

so i used to be really dependent on other people, like boyfriends, friends, family, etc…so it was really unhealthy. like i searched for constant validation in everyone, especially men. MEN WHO DONT EVEN MATTER NOW ??

anyways, i was in like a horrible place a year ago and while i was reading those messages all i kept saying to myself was: “how did i let myself get to that point of being so mentally unstable?”. i like look at myself now and i would never let anyone do what those people did to me a year ago. i would never let someone disrespect me like that again. so i just wondered how?? like how did i let myself slip that far away??

then i remind myself that if i hadn’t gone through that experience, i might have not been the person i am today. im not as dependent on people anymore, like SIGNIFICANTLY. i stopped dating and talking to people romantically (for now) until i knew i was mentally ready to be in a relationship. and i very much am ready to be in one. yet, i’ve gotten so used to be alone and being SO HAPPY alone, i don’t think i’ll date for a while more bc i love being alone now (alone in the sense of not being in a relationship). i think that if i hadn’t hit rock bottom completely and had to build myself back together myself, i def wouldn’t be the person i am today for sure. like i am 10x more stronger than i originally was.

this is just a reminder for those who are struggling right now and are going through a similar experience that i went through: YOU are your OWN happiness! nobody else can make you as happy as yourself. my mother says all the time “in order to love someone else, you must first love yourself”. you simply cannot give someone else something that you don’t have. you can’t help someone else if you can’t even help yourself. and it’s difficult to hear but it’s very true!

so please, put yourself first. love yourself before you go on to love someone else. help yourself first before you go help someone else. take care of yourself and find validation, love, and happiness in yourself first.

if anyone needs to talk (ik i’m not a big account or anything but still) please send me a message! i would love to talk you or you can just rant to me, i don’t care! i just want you to feel good about yourself and i want you to feel like you are being heard. bc to me, you are heard. anyways, i love you! have a great night/day <3

#love you #reminder #im here for you

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awfullyaster · 4 years

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andrew and neil are switches, don’t you forget it

ok hi here for my (probably) daily aftg rant,,,,so i’m seeing that the majority of the fandom (as far as i’ve seen anyway)--or fics/fanart consisting of andreil doing the do--view neil as a power bottom ?

am i incorrect? are my resources false? idk bout u but so far i’ve only seen like one fic where neil is the top/penetrator (!mao is that even a real word idk but it sounds weird haha cute ok anyway)

and honestly, i have to disagree. i do. i’m not trying to push andrew’s boundaries by saying that neil could top, i’m just saying that y’all don’t give neil enough credit.

liek,,,,,bro,,,,,do you not see the amount of top energy neil mf josten radiates ???? like, yes, we know andrew takes the lead but it doesn’t necessarily mean he’d top forever ?????

( just a proposition, ofc but this is just my opinion based on observations--yet again )

( and tbh i had difficulty trying to figure who was the top and who was the bottom between them when i encountered the first hint of intimate growth in their relationship--to the point where i had to ask my best friend who hadn’t a clue what aftg was prior to (that’s when the aftg rants officially started/ignited) and it took some time/proper discussion/consideration but he first came up with the conclusion that andrew was a sub top and that neil was a power bottom )

as for yours truly, i came to the conclusion that they are both switches (some time after i finished reading).

i mean,,,,,,can you really just look at neil josten--wholly, like his entire personality, attitude (problem !), traits, &c and decide on the spot that he’s a bottom ??? how ??? how the hell do you come up with that ?????

and hear me out, i have evidence/reasons:

one) The Great Riko Roast™️. need i say more?

(if elaboration is necessary:

keep in mind that neil (this literal fucking nobody) burned riko (supposedly the king of exy or whatever the fuck, who cares) to ground on the spot (no script, just his attitude problem (mwah i love him) and pure spite)

again, he burned him to the ground on live television, publicly humiliating riko with each and every word

idk bout u but i am so damn sure andrew found out right then n there that this bitch radiates top energy for fucking sure (or, in his words, isn’t spineless)

neil committing arson via verbal attacks is just---splendid. absolutely mesmerizing. flawless. truly inspiring. gamechanging. glorious.

he’s so rude i love him

anyway )

two) neil can shut up andrew up without having to touch or kiss him. he can leave him speechless. with just his words.

(yes, we know anybody & everybody knows better than to touch andrew but like i mean he wouldn’t have to fight him or whatever) (and he doesn’t have to kiss him to shut him up--though he definitely can--he doesn’t have to because that’s just how fucking powerful he is)

y’all,,,,,are you ready for one of the most amazing lines i believe we all know and love,,,,,

““You have a problem wherein you only invest your time and energy into worthless pursuits."

“This,” Neil flicked his finger to indicate the two of them, “isn’t worthless.”

“There is no ‘this’. This is nothing.”

“And I am nothing,” Neil prompted. When Andrew gestured confirmation, Neil said, “And as you’ve always said, you want nothing.”

Andrew stared stone-faced back at him.

[...andrew had his hand frozen mid-air...(i forgot the rest)]”

if this does not prove dominance to you, i don’t know what to tell you. (HE WAS MERELY SPEAKING AND ANDREW COULD NOT COME UP WITH ANYTHING-- A N Y T H I N G --TO SAY BACK BC IT’S A PERSONAL ATTACK AND HE DIDN’T SEE IT COMING AND THAT’S WHY HE SEES NEIL AS INTERESTING/WHY HE ‘HATES’ HIM SO MUCH BRO I)

hOweVeR

i know that dom bottoms exist (i think so, anyway) or bottoms that radiate top energy/the position (i.e. bottom,top) energy you radiate can be entirely different from what position you really are/are comfy with and that these are just words but that brings me to my following point,

three) (#1 insitgator, he, oh yes, neil josten, yes indeed) his unexpected (and to be frank, quite thrilling) acts of asserting dominance ?????? um ????

(when they were kith kithing next to the kitchen (next to kitchen) in neil’s dorm room) “[neil felt his phone buzz in his back pocket and against the wall it was obnoxiously loud. he already knew it was his daily countdown, but he already knew how much little time he had left. he didn’t need to reminded, especially now...andrew took it out of his back pocket and offered it to neil, pulling away from his mouth. neil took the phone from andrew’s hand and threw it across the living room, not taking his eyes off andrew. andrew watched as the phone bounced off the couch and onto the carpet. neil kissed his neck in attempt to distract him and was rewarded by a startled jolt which was enough reason to do it again. and even though andrew pushed his face away, they were close enough for neil to not miss how andrew shivered.]”

b r o ,,,,,,,,,,,, bro,,,,,,it just--

(when they were alone in the bus otw to that one away game--belmonte, i think?) “[“i wonder when coach found out about this,” neil prompted.

“there is no ‘this’.”

“i wonder when coach found out you only want to kill me ninety-three percent of the time.”

neil retraced his steps and had a moment of realization. before andrew left for easthaven, neil had told andrew to trust him and not ‘neil’.

“it was before you left,” neil started...

“coach doesn’t believe what other people want him to believe, he believes what he sees,” andrew replied...

“are you going to tell them?” neil was referring to the rest of the team, and this was up to him, whether they’ll be out or not.

“i won’t have to. renee says the upperclassmen are betting on your sexuality.”

neil knew that matt mentioned that there were bets on about him, but he didn’t know it was about this.

“it’s a waste of time and money. they’ll all lose. i’ve said all year that i don’t swing and i meant it. kissing you doesn’t make me look any of them differently. the only one i’m interested in is you.”

“don’t say stupid things.”

“make me.” and with that, neil grabbed a fistful of andrew’s hair and pulled him in.]”

dude,,,,,,,,,he can take control,,,,,he can,,,,he can lead, too, but he follows andrew’s because he’s a good boy and he knows how important it is. he improvises and uses what he has and takes control from there. dude. dude.

three) honestly? i think andrew likes it. neil’s unexpected acts of confidence,,,kinda leaves him on the edge of his seat yk,, like doesn’t it increase his percentage? it does, right? cuz ik it did when andrew guided neil to touch his chest and neil emulated andrew’s words, “i won’t be like them. i won’t let you let me be.” (i love them bye) but liek,,,,yeah idk andrew liking neil’s neck kisses/fetish kinda tells me he likes it so maybe this isn’t concrete evidence particularly but i’m still including it because andrew’s a switch, idc what anyone says,

four) i lost my train of thought but i ran out of reasons--on the spot, anyway--so i might come back to this if i do but just to make it clear:

andrew minyard is a switch. (it just takes time, like a lot, but it doesn’t mean it’s necessarily impossible/never gonna happen.)

neil josten is a switch. (he respects andrew’s boundaries and doesn’t push him, he’s fine being guided, but it doesn’t mean he can’t take the initiative himself (and i forgot to mention it but re: when he asked andrew if he doesn’t like to be touched in general or if it’s a trust thing + many more times, before & after their first kiss, i believe, my brain is just empty rn) and i just think that deserves more recognition)

so !!

(this post is a mess, (i always am but today’s just worse) i know, and i’m sorry)

in conclusion,

let neil top andrew !! they deserve it !!

(not that vice versa is bad, but this isn’t either, yk, just saying. also, i hope this isn’t too late to say in the post, but i do not, i repeat, i do not, intend to pressure any content creator--fic writers, fan artists, editors, &c--to create content this particular way only,,,,okay,,,gotta make that unequivocally clear. and i’m not saying andrew topping neil is bad or overrated, because i know that when it comes to them, sex in general would take some time, especially neil topping andrew, but i think they deserve that freedom, yk. again,,,,this is just my personal opinion. no insisting statements here, just wish for freedom to speak my mind, that is all. also feel free to interact if you agree/disagree or both !! i’m willing to hear anyone’s comments or thoughts or whatever !! i hope i’m talking to a brick wall here ahah)

bro brain poop rn

anyway

tl/dr: bro let neil top (not necessarily on top, but that works, too--either/or--or both, if y’all dare ;DD (kill me) (but like srsly) (let neil top) (plz) :))

(also somewhat off topic but might anyone have access to some fics in which consist of neil first getting andrew off ??? i randomly remember it from ms. sakavic’s extra content page and i would like to see what the fandom offers, if y’all don’t mind)

im so mean and insistent on my aftg-related opinions now that i think about it

whoops

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