#ill screenshot a .3 second moment

[howling-at-stars]

Getting ugly screenshoots of friends while on video calls only to bring them up later like blackmale is a love language. (My love language)

[chahnniesroom]

in sickness and in health

pairing: kim seungmin x female reader

summary: you're the most important thing in seungmin's life, of course his biggest fear would be losing you. it means that taking care of you when you're not feeling well comes naturally.

word count: 2.1k

warnings: a little bit of angst, sickness (fever, feeling nauseous, etc.)

a/n: partially inspired by me being ill at work and my amazing coworkers taking care of me and making sure i didn't faint lol.

till death do us part collection | read it on ao3 | masterlist

Seungmin loves being an idol. 

He loves to sing and performing in front of Stays always thrills him. He loves the other members and really, everyone else that he gets a chance to work with. At times it can be stressful, but for the most part, it’s fairly easy to manage the downsides of being famous.

But when he started dating you, he found out that there are parts of being an idol that he hates.

He always thought that he'd be different from a lot of idols and wouldn't be afraid to show his partner off. The second he met you though, he knew he'd do anything and everything in his power to keep you safe. You understand, of course, and do your part to make sure that only your closest friends and family are aware of who you're dating.

It pains Seungmin to do this, but he knows nothing good can come out of your identity being known.

The two of you are more than careful, sometimes Seungmin feels silly with how cautious he is about meeting up with you. Yet somehow his heart always feels like it will beat out of his chest whenever he sees articles that speculate about idol relationships.

You do your best to stop him from stressing, but it’s something that Seungmin can't quite shake. You're the most important thing in his life, of course his biggest fear would be losing you.

—

The first time his phone rings during a livestream with the whole group, Seungmin brushes it off. The caller ID says it's an unknown number and everyone he knows has been receiving a lot of spam calls and texts lately. 

He swipes away the notification and tries to focus on just reading comments when the same number calls back, a couple minutes later. He ignores it again, but on the third call, he nudges Chan’s knee beside him and subtly tilts his phone screen so that Chan can see. His phone is on silent so nobody watching the live should be able to tell that he's getting the calls, but the timing feels too coincidental for him not to be suspicious. 

"They keep calling," he says under his breath. 

"We'll get someone to look into the number later, just keep ignoring it," Chan advises quietly.

Seungmin takes a quick screenshot of the number, then tries to get back into the conversation to distract himself. The next time he looks down at his phone again, someone is once again calling him.

Seungmin almost reflexively rejects the call, until he realises it's your nickname flashing up on his screen.

You generally don’t call Seungmin without warning, especially not during the day when there’s a higher chance that Seungmin won’t be able to readily answer.

[sent - 3:12 pm]

sorry baby, working right now, can it wait?

His stomach drops when you just call again in response. He doesn’t want to alarm any of the members or the fans when he doesn’t know what’s going on, but he has a bad feeling about this. He once again flashes his phone to Chan briefly and leans in close.

“I want to take this, I don’t know why she’s calling, but something doesn’t seem right.”

Chan bites his lip, obviously torn for a second, before he seems to make up his mind.

“We’ve been live for almost 20 minutes, give me one second and we’ll end it so that you can talk to her, yeah?” Chan puts a hand on Seungmin’s shoulder and squeezes it tightly for a moment before clapping his hands together, effectively ending the conversation that the rest of the members were having.

Seungmin makes himself smile as they all say goodbye, but it's obvious that it's forced.

Even though the live ended as quickly as possible, Seungmin still has 2 new missed calls by the time he’s found himself an empty room to use.

"Hello?"

"Uhm hello, is this Min?" a man asks hesitantly. His voice is unfamiliar and it scares Seungmin. The only thing that brings a little bit of comfort is knowing that you’re careful to never call Seungmin by his full name when talking about him with friends or coworkers, you even have his contact information set as a nickname.

"Who is this?" he asks instead. “Where’s Y/n?”

"My name is Hyunwoo, I work with Y/n-ssi. I’m very sorry for interrupting you, but Y/n-ssi said that you were one of her emergency contacts. We tried to call with another number previously, but weren’t able to reach you."

“Sorry, I generally do not answer calls from unknown numbers. Is Y/n okay?” Seungmin swallows hard, his mouth suddenly dry. “Can I- can I please speak to her?”

“She’s just not feeling well and needs to go home. She’s resting in another room, but I can get her, one moment please.” 

There’s a bit of background noise, the sound of footsteps, murmuring, then finally, your voice.

“Minnie?” you ask, sounding groggy. “I’m sorry for bothering you, I know you were working today.”

“Hey baby, it’s okay. You don't have to worry about me. You know that you’re more important than work to me right? I’m glad you got them to call me. How are you doing?”

“I'm tired. I'm okay, just, I was feeling light-headed and have a headache so I can't work. Hyunwoo said he thinks I have a fever.”

“Okay, I’m going to pick you up and bring you home then. Just continue resting until I get there. I'll see you soon.”

Seungmin doesn’t know what he’d do without the other members. As soon as he finishes explaining the situation to them, they’re already calling a car and working out schedules so that there aren’t any problems.

—

Hyunwoo eyes Seungmin carefully when they first meet, likely due to the face mask and hat he's wearing. When Seungmin removes the mask and shakes Hyunwoo’s hand, he's relieved when he doesn't appear to recognise him. It's not exactly a surprise, men are generally less likely to follow k-pop groups and Seungmin hardly looks like an idol when he's barefaced and in the jeans and t-shirt that he wore for the live.

“Thank you for calling me, Hyunwoo-ssi,” Seungmin says. “Sorry I didn’t pick up at first.”

“It’s okay, Min-ssi. Y/n-ssi mentioned that your work might make you difficult to contact.” Seungmin appreciates that Hyunwoo doesn’t make any attempt to pry further.

“And thank you for taking care of Y/n.”

“It’s not a problem. Y/n-ssi is a pleasure to work with and we all want her to get better as quickly as possible. Come with me, I’ll bring you to her.”

You’re lying in a small meeting room that has all the lights off and blinds drawn. The table and chairs have all been shifted to the side to fit a yoga mat that has been laid out. You squint up at Seungmin from under a mis-match of jackets with your head resting on a pillow that matches the couches that were in the reception area of your office.

“Minnie?” Your voice is soft and a little bit confused.

“Yes, it’s me, Y/n. How’re you feeling?”

Seungmin rushes to your side, crouching on the carpet so that he can cup your cheek. Your skin is flushed and hot to the touch. You reach out a hand and he clasps it tightly with his free hand.

“Mm, I wanna go home.”

“Let’s go home then.”

The company car is still parked outside of your office building, close enough that you insist on walking yourself. Seungmin tries not to hover, but he makes sure to keep his arm looped around your waist so that you don’t stumble. The drive back to your place is fairly short, but when Seungmin glances over you’re looking unwell. Maybe it’s just the dim lighting from the backseat, but you look paler than usual and your eyes are closed.

“You feeling okay?” Seungmin asks, squeezing your hand.

“A bit nauseous,” you murmur.

“We’re almost there, just take a few deep breaths through your nose for me.”

Even though it's only a few minutes before they pull onto the street that you live on, it feels like forever. Seungmmin tries to keep you preoccupied by rubbing circles into your palm. Instead of trying to help you out of the car and into your apartment, Seungmin thanks the company driver and opts to just carry you all the way in. 

He helps to change you out of your work clothes and tucks you into your bed. You link your fingers together and protest when Seungmin attempts to leave your side.

“I promise I'll be back in a second, I just want to get some things to help you feel better, okay?” he says, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You agree, but reluctantly.

Seungmin tries to stay quiet as he rummages around your apartment, gathering some medicine, a thermometer, a glass of water, and some crackers. Next he dampens a face cloth and brings everything to your bedside table, folding up the cloth and laying it across your forehead. 

He supports you in sitting up slightly to take your temperature, brushing his fingers through your hair as you wait for enough time to pass. You lean into his touch slightly, humming in pleasure when Seungmin switches to giving you a light head massage. When the thermometer beeps, it confirms what Hyunwoo suspected, you have a low grade fever.

“You have a bit of a fever,” Seungmin tells you, keeping his voice low. “Do you feel up to having some water and medicine? It'll help you feel better, I think.”

“Okay,” you say, taking the pills that Seungmin hands you and swallowing them with a bit of water.

“Do you want to rest some more now? I want you to stay hydrated so I can make broth for you or get juice.”

“Do you have another schedule? You don't have to stay and take care of me.”

“I don't have to, I want to. And what did I say earlier? Don't worry about me. I'm not missing anything important.”

“So you are missing something,” you insist, your stubbornness making itself known. Seungmin can't help but find it endearing, especially the way that your bottom lip juts out to form a pout.

“Just vocal lessons. I already know how to sing, so it’s fine. Innie had his scheduled for tomorrow, the two of us are going to swap.”

“Oh,” you say, apparently satisfied by that.

“See, nothing to worry about. Now, what did you want? Broth or juice?”

“Broth,” you decide. “But that means you'll have to leave again. I don't want to be alone.”

Seungmin hesitates for a moment before reaching for something resting on the side of your bed.

“You won't be alone, Daengmo will keep you company, okay?”

Seungmin had gifted the stuffed dog to you the first time he had gone abroad after the two of you had started dating, even though it was only to Japan. You had insisted that he keep it at first, knowing how fond he was of the toy, but he had convinced you that it would prevent you from missing him whenever he was away.

“M'kay,” you say sleepily, wrapping your arms around Daengmo.

“You can close your eyes while I'm gone and I'll be back before you know it.”

“I'm not tired,” you say, although even in the dim lighting Seungmin can see that your eyes are starting to droop. “I'm going to stay awake until you come back.”

“Whatever you say,” Seungmin replies.

He leaves your room, closing the door behind him quietly, and heads towards the kitchen.

Seungmin prepares a couple of pots to make you soup. The first he prepares with some ingredients to make a simpler version of a ginseng chicken soup. He knows it'll take a while to cook though, so he adds water, powdered chicken broth, and ginger to the second. Within a few minutes, the clear broth is ready to serve.

Seungmin scoops a portion of it into a mug and slips an ice cube in so that you won't burn your mouth trying to drink it. He makes his way back to your room as quickly as he can, but careful to avoid the liquid sloshing over the sides.

When he eases the door open, he's greeted with the side of you with your eyes closed, clutching Daengmo tightly. Your breaths are deep and even, although you stir slightly when he sets the mug down on your nightstand.

“I'm here now," he reassures you quietly. “You just keep resting.”

“Thank you for taking care of me,” you say in a small voice.

“Of course, I’ll always be here for you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

till death do us part collection | read it on ao3 | masterlist

[comikadraws]

sasuke was going to genuinely plan out a genocide and it wasn't something he said in a fit of rage, right?

Was Sasuke Uchiha genocidal?

(2k words of analysis, manga screenshots, and other resources)

To refresh everybody's memory, Sasuke's plan was to destroy Konoha and everybody in it. Not that he actually did but those were his own words.

Now we can interpret this in two ways

Sasuke is blinded by rage and would, in a hypothetical scenario, act on his words (Sasuke is genocidal)

Sasuke is being dramatic and/or would get cold feet when confronted with the scenario (Sasuke is not genocidal)

In my opinion, the first scenario is far more likely to occur and the second lacks sufficient evidence to reasonably rule out that Sasuke is genocidal.

>>Analysis under the cut<<

Let's establish a few things before we begin. But feel free to skip to the next headline.

First, I will judge attempted crime as harshly as committed crime. Since this is not real life, there is no need to reward incompetence or luck. Either way, the focus of this discussion is Sasuke's intent and resolve.

Second, fictional characters don't exist in flesh and blood but as part of a narrative. This means that a character's decisions and psychology heavily depend on the author's intent.

Third, I love Sasuke's character. Do not misunderstand this as hate. This is an analysis of Sasuke's psychology and actions. He has been wronged in horrific ways and deserved better, but that won't make me sanitize his character.

Fourth, the red links are context links, linking back to my own posts. I highly recommend reading them.

The Sincerity of Sasuke's Death Threats

Sasuke rarely jokes around or speaks from a place of uncertainty or dramatics. He says he'll kill Danzo? You bet he does. He says he'll kill Itachi? He does. He says he'll kill Naruto? He tries that as well. Granted, two of these deserved to die (from Sasuke's POV) but what matters here is that Sasuke's threats are meant to be interpreted as sincerity rather than hyperboles.

Not that Sasuke never goes back on his words though, as is the case with the ending (although it is arguably a character inconsistency). The one of the few other time he takes back a threat (chapter 177) it is not a direct threat but an implied one that is based on a hypothetical.

Back then he reconsiders his words - but not really because he retroactively notices he didn't mean them but rather because Kakashi pulls an uno-reverse on him. Afterward, he has 3-4 years to spend on introspection only for him to repeat his threat in chapter 416. Sasuke readiness to induce harm to innocents does not appear to be spontaneous or ill-considered.

Sasuke generally hesitates every now and then. Like when he ends up sparing Naruto after he is knocked unconscious. Or sparing Dosu because Sakura begs Sasuke to stop.

But those moments occurred at an entirely different point in Sasuke's character arc at which he is rapidly bouncing back and forth between cruelty and mercy. More on that later.

The Devolvement of Sasuke's Morals

Sasuke acts entirely differently after the truth reveal. His morals have visibly changed for the worse. Perhaps it becomes the most apparent when comparing chapter 8 to chapter 481. Whereas Genin Sasuke would once help and support his teammates if they could not keep up on their own, a teenage Sasuke disposes of them.

This kind of development first occurs as early on as chapter 56 when Sasuke decides that growing stronger (ends) justifies carrying a curse mark (means). He is on a steady moral decline afterward, first willing to sacrifice his loyalties (Orochimaru), then uninvolved bystanders (Killer B, the other Kage, other shinobi, and samurai), and finally, a friend (Karin) all in pursuit of his goals. It is utilitarian in nature.

Also, please let's not discuss the validity of killing soldiers. We have already dealt with this question during Waves Arc and later when Itachi died. From Sasuke's and other characters' POV (and as evidenced by chapter 343), dehumanizing and discarding a person just for being a soldier on the wrong side is wrong.

What happened to Sasuke over time is, of course, a character arc. A corruption arc, to be specific. Let's make a quick trip.

A character arc is initiated by some sort of trigger event. If said event lies between a version A and B of a character, chances are that their sympathy, competence, or proactivity have become incomparable to each other. This is why a 13-year-old version of Sasuke (pre truth reveal, which is his trigger event for this specific arc) does not inform us about the workings of a 17-year-old version.

Before this triggering event, Sasuke is also in the midst of a turning point in his arc, hence the indecisiveness about killing Naruto. You can view this in parallel to the Hero's Journey's "Refusal of the Call" during which Sasuke is still hesitant about the road he is taking until the triggering event makes the decision for him.

Now, back to Sasuke's morals. Personally, I believe what stands at the helm of Sasuke's corruption arc is a decrease in self-awareness and a growing lack of empathy.

There's a certain hypocrisy to Sasuke's decision-making. Sasuke is grieving a brother but then attacks somebody else's brother. He is enraged about Konoha discarding Itachi as a tool but will then proceed to abandon his own comrades (Team Taka). He condemns the genocide committed against the Uchiha but then plans a genocide of his own. Injustice is only injustice if inflicted on Sasuke but not if caused by Sasuke.

This does not compare to a younger Sasuke, who uses his own trauma to understand and connect with others and to discern right from wrong. Sasuke is capable of empathizing with Naruto because he is lonely (like himself) and Sasuke finds Orochimaru "disgusting" for viewing humans as mere tools (like a genocidal Itachi). But, over the course of his arc, his trauma instead turns into a weapon to distance himself from others.

The in-universe reason for this change is likely that Sasuke's mind is fully occupied with his own grief and rage. He is blinded by it, so much so that he no longer has the mental space to accommodate other people's pain and suffering.

There is also a narrative device to this, usually applied in the "darkest hour", such as "Batman Grabs a Gun". The purpose is to draw attention to the severity of the situation while also providing more depth to a character by giving them an underlying layer (their emotions/struggles/etc.) beneath their facade (their morals/reputation/etc.).

In Sasuke's case, this is used to highlight his grief for Itachi which is greater than any moral principle Sasuke has.

Intensity and Duration

So, Sasuke is definitely blinded by his rage. But is it a "fit"? I suppose that this is a matter of definition.

Sasuke's hatred for Konoha appears to be a constant. It doesn't change. It doesn't lessen. Not after a couple of hours and not after a couple of days.

To me personally, due to its duration, this is no longer a fit of rage but a mindset - one that Sasuke seems to wholeheartedly believe in.

Regardless of this, we have no indication that Sasuke's rage would lessen anytime soon. On the contrary, actually. Sasuke claims that his hatred has only grown since then.

The question we now have to ask is whether or not Sasuke would be able to rein in his rage in time to spare innocent lives. Alternatively, and combined with Sasuke's willingness to kill his own teammates, it is entirely possible that Sasuke's rage would power through, as it did for approximately 300 chapters in canon.

The Attempts

Now, the most damning argument I have to offer is that Sasuke was already intending to make his genocide plans a reality (or take steps to do so) on three occasions. Twice during the Summit Arc and once during the War Arc.

On all three occasions, the reason why his plans don't come to fruition is because Sasuke gets sidetracked or stopped outright.

In addition, there are three other problems slowing him down. Right in chapter 416, Kisame explains that Sasuke is not strong enough to fight the entire village - even with Taka's help but even more so without them. This conflicts with Sasuke's belief that Taka likely won't approve of his genocide plans or should not be involved for other reasons (which is why Sasuke pretends in front of them). He both needs Taka and has to get rid of them.

Later on, Naruto declares that he will always be there to defend Konoha against Sasuke. My interpretation of this is that Sasuke not only honors his bond with Naruto but also recognizes that fighting Konoha and Naruto simultaneously is not strategically wise - hence he needs to defeat Naruto beforehand.

First Attempt

Sasuke takes Team Taka with him, believing them to be necessary backup. Then Obito intervenes who both threatens Sasuke and gives him the wrong impression that Konoha is "no more" - either fully eradicated or too weak to defend itself.

This might erase the need for Taka as Konoha is weakened significantly and Danzo can be targeted separately from the village.

Second Attempt

In the meantime, Sasuke kills Danzo. As explained by Kisame, a greater conflict with the entirety of Konoha is inevitable if you aim at major political leaders.

On his second attempt, he has coincidentally already managed to abandon the entirety of Team Taka, just as planned in chapter 416. But this time, before he can go to Konoha, he instead encounters Team 7. As explained previously, Sasuke soon realizes that he cannot destroy Konoha before killing Naruto. And before that, he needs to get his eyes fixed. This results in Sasuke's withdrawal from the fight.

Third Attempt

On his third try, the one in which he decides to target Naruto first, he instead gets sidetracked by the appearance of Itachi on the battlefield.

"Sidetracked" doesn't mean "giving up" or "displaying disinterest" in a different goal. Otherwise, Sasuke's training under Orochimaru for 3-4 years would be proof of his disinterest in killing Itachi. Sasuke is simply prioritizing urgent matters and acting strategically.

Now, all of this "getting sidetracked" might sound a little convenient. But the question is "convenient for who?"

It is of course possible that Sasuke is openly searching for excuses because he doesn't truly want to eradicate Konoha, making him a harmless villain. The other explanation is that Kishimoto was the one looking for excuses.

In a conversation, @theheirofthesharingan pointed out that Sasuke is being "saved by the narrative" ie. plot armor. Though not in the sense that he is being protected from harm but rather that he is being protected from inflicting harm, probably as an extension of Konoha's own plot armor. This also ensures that Sasuke remains "redeemable" and likable to the audience so that Naruto can fulfill his goal of bringing him back to Konoha.

Conclusion

As I said in the beginning, there is a huge mountain of evidence suggesting that Sasuke not only fantasized but would've acted on his revenge plans against Konoha. This is because

We know Sasuke to be a non-dramatic character who doesn't easily back away from his own words.

Sasuke is on a corruption arc, his morals declining far enough to kill a friend. It seems unlikely that he'd draw the line at a stranger.

From a writing point of view, continuing Sasuke's corruption arc makes more logical sense unless he experiences another trigger event. It also further highlights Sasuke's pain.

Sasuke has repeated his goal multiple times over, leading me to believe that his mood wouldn't change soon enough for Sasuke to second-guess himself.

Sasuke has taken steps towards the fulfillment of his goal. It is entirely possible that, if Konoha didn't have plot armor, Sasuke would've found the right time to destroy the village eventually.

Of course, Sasuke's morals are not entirely gone, as we can see when he refuses to join Kabuto (though potentially just because Kabuto antagonizes Itachi). It is still entirely possible that Sasuke would've gotten cold feet when physically confronted with the task of killing innocent civilians. But this possibility is hardly entertained by any of the characters and Sasuke himself doesn't seem conflicted about his plans. It seems like Kishimoto intended for Sasuke to be genocidal, most evidence pointing toward this reading of his character.

I certainly have my opinions on this matter but, like always, this is a matter of interpretation.

Debating me is fine. I like to discuss my favorite characters. But screenshotting, blocking me, and then attacking me behind my back (and without having ever interacted with me) in a new post is a no-go for obvious reasons.

[vanilladrpepper]

Heya! 2, 7, and 8 for Wolfwood

HIHIHIHIHIHI SPOILERS AHEAD

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

freed birddddddd. freed birdddd.

^ thats a short catchall i wont lie bc theres so much to discuss that i love abt him in canon like . the details oaughg the intricacies im an insane man . but my number 1 thing that encapsulates what i adore about him in canon is the freed bird extra bc it provides a look into his past thats been (mostly iirc) just alluded to prior to it, and it allows him a moment to interact with someone younger than him and with someone that he took care of and on top of that its in the time (i think) after he defected from the eom, when he was still rough as can be and purely focused on survival. so its a nice contrast with the following volumes that showcase wolfwoods latter development and its just . its so good. i constantly think about the . the panel about the luxurious cage wait let me get it

screenshots from trigun-manga-overhaul

the chapter in and of itself perfectly encapsulates wolfwoods faults and strengths when it comes to his worldview and its technically one of the first times someone challenges his worldview head on - maylene doesnt lay down and take the easy way out, the safe way out, while wolfwood sees it as the only way for her to go - because anything else is too much of a risk and ultimately hes got a bleeding heart. even in the midst of a gunfight, maylene stands her ground, not caring for wolfwoods idea of safety over happiness, regardless of how he came to have that idea. its also a classic showing of how different things couldve turned out - if wolfwood had been adopted out like maylene, would he have retained his worldview? would he have instead agreed more with maylene? if maylene had dealt with the eom, would she have more of a pessimistic worldview?

regardless of that - another huge thing i adore about the chapter is the bird metaphors that get attached to wolfwood, where up until now its not too obvious, not too crazy - but the chapter posits the question to both the reader and wolfwood - is it worth sacrificing your autonomy for safety? is it better to risk your life to be free of any outside control? is it better to hurt and trip and fall or to stay inside a bubble where you could suffocate at any point? i adore it sm hes so ajkbvhjfdbvjhdbv

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

I ADOREEEEEE WHEN PPL GIVE HIM SOME HEALTHY WEIGHT. GIVE HIM A TUMMY RIGHT NEOWWWWWW !!!!! LOVE HIM BUT PLEASE NIGHTOW PUT SOME MEAT ON HIS BONES . also i love when ppl give him long hair <3 literally THEEEEE wolfwood design choice everrrrrr .

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

i hateeee when ppl make him suave and smooth all the time and like. a heartbreaker etc bc ill be honest it is notttt realistic to him. hes a fucking loser . PLEASE he can have his moments from time to time but for the comedic effect - immediately have him fuck up somehow. he pulls off one good one liner and then runs into a streetlight in the parking lot or eats sand and wipes the fuck out. what brings to mind is a scene from trimax;

this one from volume 10. literally pages before he drops dead and seconds after he says this:

like i get wanting to write just serious shit (because lbr trigun especially trimax lends itself to leaning into serious shit heavily) but when it comes to fanworks, wolfwood is often made to be just . a little too serious if ykwim. like in some fanworks his stuff lands too often to make sense for his character. let him be a failman loserguy for a second <3

another thing i despise. the weird microaggressions and weird racism around how some people portray his character in fanworks and fanon - specifically in reference to making him like. ungodly aggressive or like. making it weird as hell :sob: pisses me off for real like please just write him normally im begging oh my god

[v-anrouge]

UGIGIUGI APOLOGY POST (that doesn't actually apologize for shit lmfao)

this is hopefully the last post ill be making about this because finally she decided to do something other than ignore everything so i thought this is a good way to end the situation officially

so yeah fandom drama down below just scroll if u don't enjoy seeing things like this

i apologize for any english mistakes or any errors in this post my tumblr and keyboard are very silly goofers

let's start this off by saying that ugigiugi already started this shit wrong because she posted that apology while all sorts of contact anyone could have with her was cut down which means she doesn't actually care if she's forgiven or not she just wants to get away with her shit

now onto the screenshots

the apology post already starts off wrong cuz how the fuck do you apologize and then say the things you're apologizing for are only accusations like bro?? make this make sense and not only that but IMMEDIATELY after posting the apology she already started throwing excuses the

"I've seen worse" excuse DOES NOTHING, it doesn't fucking matter if you've seen worse that doesn't make it okay it never did its seriously hilarious to me how a person that is almost 30 really thought that this was an good thing to post on a post that was supposed to be apologizing for her MULTIPLE disgusting actions. also i don't fucking care if japanese "culture" is full of hentai girl you're Italian not japanese and this is happening in the fucking english fandom😭😭 and don't act like people don't criticize the multiple fucked up things about japan porn industry EVERYONE does, once again your attempt to excuse yourself makes absolutely no sense. stop fucking acting like this whole situation isn't people asking your ALMOST 30 ass to take accountability and fucking delete the art u made with the tweels because your oc is fucking 26 and the tweels are 17. if your art was in an aged up au things would've been very different but instead for some reason you thought it would be a good idea to age yourself down a few years, still keep it illegal, and make pedophilic porn between a 26 year old and 2/3 17 year olds, you're acting as if ppl calling u out were a little grouo that randomly decided to start attacking and harassing you for no reason when the reality is people just wanted for you to apologize for your mistakes but instead you kept avoiding the situation which made the whole thing get worse, the size of this mess is entirely YOUR fault because if you had apologized and moved on with your life people would've stayed quiet instead u decided to act like a oppressed victim being cyber bullied

once again you hit us with the failed attempts to excuse yourself, idk what goes on with people but the minute yall enter the internet u guys expect to get away with everything u do and the moment someone calls you out yall immediately start acting like you're getting harassed attacked hunted down being chased down the streets like bro no💀 idk if this is an america thing or what but i feel like some of you just completely forget the concept of "owning up to your mistakes and accepting getting called out because that is the way you learn and grow as person"

the second argument is also a fail because 1- that doesn't excuse shit 2- you could've aged them up.

the transphobia thingy i wont be commenting because me personally i gave never seen the screenshots of you being transphobic but what the fuck does yaoi have to do with it 💀

i also don't understand that politics part idk why it's being brought up idk what the fuck that anon is on but it's really fucking weird

the last part genuinely made me laugh because of how pathetic it is 😭😭 you're acting like you're being attacked unfairly by a bunch of 12 year olds for idk stealing a crayon when in reality you called poor people annoying and said that working to survive is embarassing and people that do so have no self respect, compared poor people TO SLAVES. copied MULTIPLE artists never gave credit WHATSOEVER and made pedophilic porn. second of all you DID NOT apologize 💀💀💀 this whole post is you trying to have a "gotcha" moment trying (and failing miserably) to come up with excuses to try an seem like a better person and you think you apologized cuz u started this joke of a post with "i apologized"

i don't think i need to repeat myself on how you're acting like the victims but it really shows the type of person you are when you actively ignore your mistakes try to delete evidence cut of all sorts of interaction with the ppl except those who are foolish enough to defend you and act like all of your actions weren't bad at all and you shouldn't be held accountable, you know what's childish ugigiugi? turning off asks, comments and reblogs so that you can finally escape the very valid claims with proof everyone has of you because you can't accept the fact that you are in fact a bad person, that's embarassing, you call us childish and say that ppl attacking you aren't mature yet you're almost 30 and running away from your mistakes crying and sobbing acting like the victim of the situation

1/10 apology - didn't actually apologize for shit brought up stupid arguments to try and excuse herself, gets a point simply because it was funny how bad this is

[sophieinwonderland]

YEAH the new person saying the endo community is a cult is so weird like heh?? im gonna try to paraphrase their comments so you can get the gist of what they say without anyone going to attack them since they are a cult survivor and i can understand why they think that endogenics are a cult, but... it's just projection imo

they see the term sysmed as terrible and say using it is a cult tactic because it compares sysmeds to transmeds (even though if u think about it for 3 seconds it's like hold on, maybe there IS a connection between between two groups of people who think the only way to experience there personhood-related thing is through suffering. who knew!)

they think being pro-endos are brainwashed and programmed to believe a certain "niche" way of thinking, which is really really silly when the "way of thinking" is "hey maybe there are other ways of being more than one person other than trauma"

theres one exerpt of a post comparing plurality to scientology and saying that endogenics think that plurality makes you a better person compared to singlets / that dissociation/identity disturbances/internal voices aren't disordered at all / are not symptoms at all. when that is factually entirely incorrect, they can be symptoms of problems and no system is better than any singlet just by being more than one person

"they actively target the mentally ill and instill fear towards them seeking treatment" as if sysmeds aren't the ones making us feel more fake and less deserving of disordered-system resources

also them repeating the idea that people think alters arent real people but soulbonds/endogenic headmates are real people, which isn't true (many alters are real people and some endogenic headmates may just be parts / not full people)

also them claiming that most endogenics are white, middle class americans with religious/christian trauma??? they used screenshots from SAS to "prove" their point which is really strange- (and also making fun of people "bastardizing other cultures" right after... like maybe, some of the people who are "bastardizing" cultures might just be engaging in their own culture? or be engaging in something so disconnected from the original concept like tulpamancy, that many non-actively-syscourse-engaging buddhists dont care and don't mind lol)

also also them reblogging from sweet-sloths-sys making fun of someone asking for money, which is the literal ONLY "pro-endo" that i've seen act like that. it's embarrassing. like we blocked that "pro endo" the moment we saw them they are just as bad as any sysmed we've seen lol no one whom i know is pro-endo agrees with their bullshit

them saying endogenics have MADD and not plurality??? what the fuck lol

and more but im getting a headache scrolling through their blog lol

and yk maybe i am looking too hard into it but when we've had moments when we were fixated on cults (especially this one youtuber who talks about a certain cult a lot), comparing that to people going "hey maybe my perspective on life isnt the only perspective, science doesnt always account for personal perspective" and supporting endogenic systems is... weird.

yeah, sure there are a LOT of cult-like behaviors in certain endogenic groups, but to call the entire thing a cult is very strange, and honestly downplays the actual cult behaviors in the sub-groups which should be talked about.

but me saying "hey maybe plurality isn't inherently a disordered experience" isn't fucking cult-behavior! at least compare this shit to the BITE model or SOMETHING lol

Thanks for the rundown!

they think being pro-endos are brainwashed and programmed to believe a certain "niche" way of thinking, which is really really silly when the "way of thinking" is "hey maybe there are other ways of being more than one person other than trauma"

Another thing that bothers me about this is that by this logic, any belief that's not mainstream could be considered a cult. That includes a ton of smaller religions. It could even include the MOGAI community, since xenogenders are still pretty niche themselves.

And I too am SO curious where their endogenic demographics come from! It sounds like they just made them up.

them saying endogenics have MADD and not plurality??? what the fuck lol

I've seen this take several times, and it's just total medical misinformation.

If you have daydream characters with a will of their own who takeover your body, those aren't just daydream characters. Switching is not a normal symptom of MADD. (Although MADD is often related to plurality.)

[cinderfeather]

Yellowjackets Season 1 Episode 3 LiveReact

Okay, so @pebblish encouraged me to try livereacting to a Yellowjackets episode, so I thought I'd give it a try (hopefully I'm doing it right):

I don’t know you either Rachel, if we saw you before I don’t remember you

Is that grown up Taiessa’s actor playing her granny?

Why doesn’t misty even want to let Nat out of here site even to grab food at the gas station? Ohhh because Natalie can search her car… but I thought that was obvious even to Nat from the last episode that misty sabotaged her car anyway? Okay I supposed she wouldn’t have tried to search the car if she didn’t suspect.

Three days? What have they been eating? Surely they would have used up all their snacks by then?

Oh they have a food stash?

Oh no last pill

Betrayal!! Shauna voted against her friend!

Is that message on the plane gonna wash off?

Hmm, so if Taiessa is a politician (a leader) in the future, is she gonna come to heads with Jackie really strong?

I don’t understand why Shauna is stalking her husband

Oh a pack of wolves might show up?

Ah clever, Taiessa paid the reporter to just check to see if anyone was talking?

Eeee scary whispers heard from the woods!

Okay cool at least they have water now. But isn’t it freezing? Yes, exactly Jackie.

Oooh Shauna is jealous of that random girl talking to Jackie

Oh hahahahaha the other dude who she’s been tempted to cheat on shows up and plays along to help her OTT lie she was trying to pull to see if her husband was cheating

So does car mechanic guy know she’s married? It’s very confusing.

For a moment I was worried Misty was about to kill the coach

Oooh ‘the man with no eyes’, I’ll need to check screenshots more closely once I’m finished to get another look. We also had Travis appearing for a second in the mirror when Nat was snooping, and she was clean too.

Ooh ‘a bad feeling’ what’s gunna happen?

How did Shauna get the hotel room key?

Okay! Why did her nanas eyes go like that when she died? I can’t think of a illness that would cause that to happen on death so quickly? And why the juxtaposition of the broken doll on the ground with the dead cabin owner?

What did the message Nat have say?

So did Taiessa get Travis killed because Nat mentioned she was trying to contact him?

After the show:

Ahh, Shauna and Matt were getting their own hotel room to have their own affair

Okay, the message Nat found in Travis' place was 'Tell Nat she was Right'. So his killer was probably planning to kill him for longer than the time between Nat's phone call to Taiessa and finding him dead?

Hmm, so someone on Reddit pointed out that the empty forest that Taiessa looked out into actually had the man with no eyes standing there in the same shot in the intro. Interesting.

[nerdpiggy]

[ID: tumblr 2022 "My Year In Review" graphic. the text is in bright colors and is surrounded by stickers of hearts, crabs, stars, horses, leaves, and other things that are swaying back and forth slightly. /End ID]

I posted 3,525 times in 2022

That's 283 more posts than 2021!

151 posts created (4%)

3,374 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@nostalgebraist-autoresponder

@.googly-eyed-seraph

@.trainwreckgenerator

@.elaeomyxa

@.tieria-erde

I tagged 1,703 of my posts in 2022

#undescribed - 799 posts

#talking to frank - 450 posts

#unreality - 63 posts

#tattoo moment - 28 posts

#alt text described - 9 posts

#witch hat atelier - 8 posts

#wha - 8 posts

#pokemon - 8 posts

#wow - 7 posts

#yes - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#and i loved how they made the horror very ambiguous at the beginning and then explain why it's happening in such an awesome way at the end

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

the musical episode of dead end paranormal park was so fucking good it made me wish the whole show was a musical. i have norma's song stuck in my head and also i cannot fucking believe josh's VA was patrick stump the whole time?????????

83 notes - Posted July 15, 2022

#4

[brief ID: mangacaps from Witch Hat Atelier. Coco is confidently praising/defending Agott to one of her old classmates, and Agott gets really flustered by all of the kind words. /End ID]

cinematic parallels

See the full post

88 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

#3

i like how Vanitas no Carte has a main character that's a doctor who treats really weird illnesses, and Sabikui Bisco has a main character that's a doctor who treats really weird illnesses, and they're both voiced by the same exact actor, yet the two characters could not be more different from each other if they tried

238 notes - Posted March 7, 2022

#2

[EDIT: ID by @suzalulus altered slightly by me

Two tweets & drawings by Kamome Shirahama translated from Japanese to English. First tweet: "This is what a pointed hat looks like when I'm busy." There is a doodle of several vaguely triangular figures with no face, stick legs, and brimless witch hats. Some of them have scribbled hair poking out from under their hats. They bear a vague but recognizable resemblance to Witch Hat Atelier characters. Second tweet: "Yay yay". A doodle of Coco, Agott, Richeh, and Tetia in the same simple style wiggling & dancing around. There are music notes and the words "Yay yay" in the air around them. /End ID]

hehehe heeheehee hoohoohoo

3,546 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

EDIT: ID by @didelphism

[id: a tweet from quinton reviews @/Q_Reviews. it shows a screenshot of jade west and tori vega from victorious sitting together at a table and looking at one another. in the bottom right corner, a photo of burf looking through a pair of binoculars has been added, with 'live burf reaction' above it, to mimic the live slug reaction meme. /end id]

10,991 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[soul-of-rei]

ok lets do this

massive spoilers for totk endgame after the cut!

i wanted to start it off right . went from the skyview tower then paraglided my way down the chasm

there was a good five minutes when i just spent the entire time being lost and not knowing where the path is in the horriblin area AJSJSJAJA IM SO SORRY TO LINK FOR MAKING HIM STAND IN THE GLOOM FOR WHAT MUST HAVE BEEN FIVE MINUTES ALL BC I COULDNT SEE UP

theres a room ik i missed bc i found an alternate pathway to get out of the area where you couldnt call the sages AJSJAJAJ thought i was clever . still couldnt end up calling the sages at one point </3

if we had access to bombs early and zelda figured out she was gonna be a Wyrm would she have requested link to take pictures of her w that mural . she prolly would have

HOW DID THEY TOP OFF THE CREEPINESS OF THE INTRO . DIVING DOWN INTO THE GLOOM LAIR WAS A LEGITIMATE HOLY SHIT MOMENT

boss rush but ganondorf forgot im fucking loaded with bombs and five shot lynel bows . EASY

FOR A WHILE THERE I PANICKED AND THOUGHT THEYD REALLY MAKE ME FIGHT THE MUCKTOROCK AGAIN I WOULD HAVE CRIED but also i needed a picture anyway of the possessed construct

but turns out that was all just a cutscene and they did the bullshit plot seperation :/ I WOULD HAVE ACTUALLY LOVED TO FIGHT ALL OF THEM AGAIN W THE HELP OF THE SAGES THEMSELVES AND NOT JUST THEIR VOWS (minus the mucktorok fuck that wo the low gravity)

but doesnt that say how much theyve developed that they dont need link anymore to fight their respective scourges !!

couldnt have taken more than a minute with baseline demon king . I STILL HAVE 4 SAVAGE LYNEL 5 SHOT BOWS AND A HUNDRED BOMBS

ok actually though the second form is tough ngl especially the last phase . props to nintendo for making it so that ganondorf could actually dodge as well as link AJSJSJAJ forcing me to use the parry mechanic and actually Get Good <33

ganondorf get your own thing . eat your sword idk just dont plagiarize zelda 😤

LINK MUST HAVE BEEN ABSOLUTELY HURT WHILE BEING TOSSED AROUND IN THE DEMON DRAGONS MOUTH LIKE THAT . WHERE ARE MY WHUMP FICS FOR THIS

the entire fight was just going zelda zelda zELDA ZELDA ZELDA CATCH ME-

here i had my totk equivalent of me shooting arrows at dark beast with just an ancient bow . i shot the thingies on the dragons back with my 5 shot bomb arrows

also the light dragon is so cute and tiny against this giant mass of hatred and gloom and malice draconified as well teehee <33

ALSO ALSO ALSO love the callback of the swirling mass of ganon from botw into totk as the jntroduction to the demon dragon <333

IM HOLDING A RIGHT AFTER I TAKE A SCREENSHOT WAIT FOR ME ZELDA

ill leave this in a seperate post but i really am so . ehh about the explanation of how zelda was brought back ? like idk i just think my own hc for how it worked makes more sense to me ASJSJSJJ

WHAT WAS THAT PAUSE DURING THE RECREATION OF THE VOW THE SAGES MADE WHEN THEY LOOKED AT LINK . WHAT IS THE IMPLICATION HERE

ok the shot of minerus construct all broken down after she moved on is cool im prolly using that as a wallpaper somewhere

overall 8.5/10 game :> it cant top botw for me but i love the game for what it is <3

[ot3]

first of all, i am violently in love your ace attorney fancomic. that one panel of mia in the elevator and edgeworth on the stairs sitting back to back lives rent free in my head, i think abt it every 3-5 business days and go feral. tysm <3 second, would you ever consider showing us ur process behind it? like how you plan it, the dialog + composition, etc? id personally love to get that insight !!

thank you so much!!!

i actually do have a TON of behind the scenes/process stuff up on my patreon for $2. every thumbnail/color rough/scrapped page comp i've done is up there, and i've been writing detailed commentary on the comic as a whole because it's something people expressed an interest in reading. there's a decent amount of it right now and ill have a new batch of commentary up sometime in the next few days

as for more generalized stuff about process ill stick that here under the cut but unfortunately it is going to be EXTREMELY unhelpful because my process habits are very bad.

so as for prewriting/pre-planning i do almost none of it. i've been trying to get better at doing that but i get so so so bored of that so fast. here's a screenshot of my first outline, cropped to just show everything i've drawn so far.

as you can see this all means pretty much nothing and i also didnt quite follow it. we didn't get the mia and greg postmortem and swiss rolls stuff for turnabout samurai because i later decided to scrap it. later down in this document there are slightly more detailed notes about some specific scenes, but really its all super lose.

Recently i tried to write a more detailed outline for the upcoming parts of the comic, and the stuff that happened in this most recent batch of pages was documented there pretty well

but already the stuff i wrote in this outline for later batches is not accurate to what i want anymore so to be honest the outlines are kind of a wash for me. what's really the meat of my pre-planning process is i just have a private discord server where i dump notes.

the reason i use a discord server for this is because its super easily accessible from every device i have, and doesnt require backing up between locations. i also just dump chunks of canon text in there that i want to pull exact dialogue from when i'm doing my transcript rereads.

a lot of these notes are completely useless and redundant

most of them are snippets of dialogue i want to put in on later pages. almost none of this dialogue will ever be used. for starters, a lot of it is different takes on the exact same handful of scenes and so by default are mutually exclusive bits of content. i like to just dump as many ideas as i have in there even if theyre contradictory, and then just read back through and pick my favorite/most appropriate ones as i get to actually drawing whats coming up.

every now and then ill dump all this in a google doc and arrange it roughly chronologically so related takes go together, but i havent done that in like six months so its all just a huge mess right now.

the reason i can get away with such bare bones planning is because i have a very strong mechanical understanding of how this story is supposed to function. in the two and a half years that has gone by since i came up with the idea and started working on it, almost nothing has fundamentally changed in my big picture narrative goals. knowing the exact shape of what i'm building towards makes it really easy to let the more minute details come to me in the moment. they either are congruent with that end goal, in which case they can stay, or they're more extraneous/irrelevant in which case they get cut.

when i get stuck, more often than not i just slide into mia @demonkix's dms and make her hear out my rambling. thanks mia. shoutout to mia.

now, here's probably one of my biggest sins: i do not script anything. there is no finalized dialogue until i am writing it directly onto the page. unless i'm directly lifting from the text, that is. ill have a rough idea of what needs to be said in each page when im drafting, and sometimes i'll write in rough dialogue on the draft. but most of the time ill just sketch out the approximation of the speech bubble andd either leave it fully blank or jot in one or two keywords in to remind me of what the dialogue should be. then the actual dialogue gets written in once the art is finished

do not do this. i can not stress how frustrating this is for myself. i do this every time and i always hate it.

the reason i dont bother with any proper scripting is because the dialogue bends to the art. not the other way around. a massive amount of my process is dictated by what im in the mood to draw, and by keeping the actual character interactions as flexible as possible until the art is done, i can ensure i dont get stuck at key points because the thing that has to happen is something i dont feel like drawing.

in general, my process for drafting pages is just rough thumbnail -> color rough -> go actually draw the damn thing

however there ill be times when i just do not bother drafting at all and jump immediately into drawing a page. if you go look at the stuff on patreon youll see that in the beginning i pretty much just drew everything after the first batch straight through.

this comic is a lot of work so the most important thing is that hte process is fun for me. i really hate granular planning and itd just slow me down a ton so the process is really just vibes from point a to point b. hope this somewhat answers your question

i talk about my general approach to comic composition in my big composition writeup too, which is pinned, if thats something youre interested in.

[technowoah]

Cant Handle This

Quackity's facade keeps breaking, and he tries to keep the pieces together. You're the only one who can make him show his true self

- Quackity x gen neutral reader

- this is a long one yall.

Now playing...

Can't Handle This (Kanye Rant)

Bo Burnham

0:01 ─●──────── 3:29

⚠︎ swearing, angst, mentions of mcyttwt, based on the song above, and ofc its not proofread

Part of my Inside Special!

Quackity sat in his chair currently streaming right now, he seemed like he was having a good time from your spot on his bed. You were currently laying on his bed after he invited you here to relax.

You two had laid in his bed just enjoying eachothers company until he got a call from Tommy saying he was ready for the lore stream which sent Alex into a frenzy. Alex sent out a quick "Im sorry" about the lateness of his stream and then quickly set everything up.

He then started to stream which left you alone on the the bed to your own devices. You were scrolling through Twitter looking at Alex's fans talk about what's happening on the stream and posting screenshots of his character and himself.

You admired him from afar as he ended the lore part of his stream, he took time to type on his phone to text you that he decided to stream longer to talk to his fans. He looked to you and you have him a nod with a smile and he gave one back.

"Hey guys! That's the end of the lore!" He exclaimed to his chat as he types at his computer setting a new background.

You continued to listen to him praise his chat for supporting him and making him be able to make those types of streams. You were always proud of Alex no matter what he did, you were always his number one supporter no matter what happened in reality or on the internet.

"So anyways! I wanted to talk to you guys! How are you all?" He smiled at his camera looking back and forth from his chat.

◇T0mm71nn1t: THE STREAM WAS SO GOOD QUACKITY

"Oh thank you! Im glad I could share this with you. It takes so much to put into these movite type streams, so I know now it is all worth it."

Quackity's pov. . .

He felt so overwhelmed, he shouldn't have began to stream again. The stress of putting everything together, plus being late to the stream made him rush into it more. He just wanted to lay back down with his lover who was enjoying watching him stream, and that's the goal he wants. His goal was to entertain, it was his job and he doesn't want to fail, he doesn't want to crack.

◇Mayatooni3: WE LOVE YOU QUACKITY

◇catiiequak: QUACKITY ITS MY BIRTHDAY CAN I GET A HAPPY BIRTHDAY??

◇yriaaolic: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

"Happy Birthday!" He said seeing the comment pass in a second. "Happy Birthday to anyone who's Birthday it is today."

Right now it was hard. It was hard to keep up when there was always a constant demand, the constant need to be perfect, his past being brought up, and trying to one-up his content everytime. He loved this, but at the same time it had the same weight as a job.

In the back of his mind he knew the "When is Quackity streaming???" is mostly lighthearted, he never wants to leave.

"Quack are you okay? Im fine! Just thinking about how to get something to eat at 2am." He laughed lying to his fans, he wanted to stop this stream.

He kept looking over to his lover lying their head on his pillow scrolling through their phone and alternating their vision from him and their phone. He always caught a glimpse of their small smile everytime he looked. He was doing something right.

"Do yall think Taco Bell is open? The only problem I have is that Im fucking starving."

He paused for a moment taking a deep breath trying to keep his emotions down. The stress was getting to him, and he fucking knew it, but he didnt stop. He was going to get burnt out eventually and stop streaming and YouTube all together, but he needed this. He needed a break, he needed to take time for himself and stop putting on a happy face when he isnt.

TTS ◇pulixsaxe: "Did you see what was happening on Twitter quackity?"

"Wait what's happening on Twitter?" He asked with a weary laugh.

I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are

Pringle cans, and burritos

The truth is, my biggest problem's you,

Your eyes widened as he mentioned Twitter. Truth be told he was trending because of his stream, yes, but also they brung up stuff from his past again in the wake of another content creator's past or present being brought up. You hadn't paid attention to that, you were only getting fueled up from Twitter bringing up an issue that he already had addressed.

Tempted to speak and tell him its fine, he already spoke up before you.

"I bet it's fine! I dont wanna... I don't need to look." He said with a smile. He always had that smile on.

Either it was a full smile or a half smile. It never left his face and it comforted you somehow. Maybe it was that you were his significant other, but you always wondered if anyone saw the same things as you. The things like his smile that never left his face.

"Yeah! I dont need to look at that." He waved his hand dismissing the comment away. He then sighed letting his shoulders relax as you saw his smile fade and his eyes close for a second and immediately put that small smile back on his face while his eyes were glossy, but bright.

He needed to end this stream soon. You saw his face fall then in a split second come back to life except his eyes were glossy with tears. You wondered if anyone else noticed.

"I want to please you

But I want to stay true to myself

I want to give you the night out that you deserve"

His eyes tearful as he tried to blink them away trying to not make a scene.

"Sorry! Allergies ugh!" He said as he wiped his tears away claiming them as allergies.

"Are you crying? No! Im not a pussy!" He yelled at his chat in a joking manner.

He was crying and he felt weak. He felt emotionally weak, and weak as in not strong, he didn't feel strong and his lover who was sitting on his bed with a concerned look on their face always told him that it's okay to feel weak. The only meaningful thing is how you pick yourself up, they always told him, bur now he felt at rock bottom.

He wanted to give his fans "himself", the goofy, lovable, loud, quick-witted, Quackity. But then again his lover always told him to separate Quackity from Alex. He wanted to give himself to his audience, he wanted to be authentic and share himself, but he cant. Alex isn't all laughs, he is serious, calmer, and when he gets on the screen is when he lets it all out then goes back to his more calmer self. That's not what they want.

"But I want to say what I think

And not care what you think about it"

Giving himself meant dialing back, he wants to tell how hes actually feeling, he wants to say what he thinks about Twitter, what he thinks about certain friends, about his fanbase, and then leave it alone. He wanted to delete social media and then speak his mind without knowing what anyone is saying about it. It was paradise to him, but of course it cant be that way and that's what he hates. He feels like a actor when he really wants to be himself.

"A part of me loves you,"

Alex loved his fanbase, he had such a supportive fanbase that loved his content. Some of them did atleast he didn't fully know, but they gave him the courage to do this time and time again knowing that his content is at least taking them from the harsh reality of real life for a few minutes or hours. This was the reason he did this, for them.

Alex would never admit this but they boosted his ego too, it would for anyone. The fact that there were people who wanted and enjoyed content from him made him feel good about himself.

"part of me hates you"

He hated the contant criticisms, he hates that they feed his ego so much that it makes him want to stream more to feel good about himself and to make people get away for awhile. Alex knew inside of his heart he couldn't truly hate his fanbase, they gave him everything he ever wanted. He hates them for that and that's such a scary thing. He never fails to wonder if he did the things to deserve all the love and hate he gets.

"Part of me needs you,"

They feed his ego, they make him want to go above and beyond. Alex knows that his fanbase is the reason he is here in this chair infront of three expensive monitors. He knows that this is some sort of a job that he needed. He needed the push to keep going and that was them, it was the 200k people watching his stream watching him answer questions about him and

"part of me fears you"

He was fearful of loosing himself to them. Loosing his authenticity to them was something he feared. He didnt want his funny, loud persona to consume him and make him forget about Alex instead of Quackity. He fears what they think as well, he claims he doesnt care, but he does he wants to please them. It feels like two parts of his brain fighting about if he should care or not.

"And I don't think that I can handle this right now"

The text-to-speech bot continued to speak out people's comments that theu paid for while he sat there quietly. He bit his bottom lip trying to not break down infront of everyone he needed to be strong. He needed to be strong.

If he looked up at the camera everyone would see his tears, they would see him breaking.

He played it off as he brough his shirt up to wipe the tears away, claiming it as sweat.

"Im good! Im sorry I spaced out for a second." He shook his head.

He saw you look at him with that same concerned look on your face. As he switched his gaze between you and his computer, he felt his tears come back again.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"Alex." You tried to get his attention.

"Yeah guys Im fine!"

"Alex"

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"I have plans later for another lore stream, so Ill start doing that later tonight."

"ALEX!" You yelled and his head turned around to face you.

"What?" He laughed, biting his lip again.

You couldn't stop him doing this, you could try to course him into going to bed, but right now you couldn't find the words. You just stared at him while he looked at you with a somber smile trying to tell you that he was okay.

He felt his mind telling himself that he need to rest. He wouldnt allow himself to and thats why he was breaking down.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

Alex was blinking rapidly trying to keep his breathing and tears at bay while he answered his fans.

"My allergies are fine! And I drank water today."

◇moonchild21: WE LOVE YOU

◇sopusand: Why do you look like that?

◇wuackityoo: are you crying??

"Crying is for the weak! I am a strong manly man! Im crying cause I noticed how alpha I am!" He tried to play it off as a "Im a man" joke but you could see right through it.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

You had sent a quick text to Alex which told him to end the stream for his own mental health, but he left the message unread. He began sniffing and the wiping his eyes again. It was a wreck and you couldn't seem to stop it without literally dragging him out of his chair.

Meanwhile the screens were getting to Alex. Alex's eyes were getting tired of the bright screens and the rapid messages that popped up on the screen overwhelmed him for what it seemed like the first time ever in his strraming career. He wanted to give them the fun night they deserved and wanted, but he knows it's getting hard to. He dosent know how long he can keep this up.

As Alex kept joking around about his eyes and physical state the chat was filled with "LMAO" and "HAHAHA" which fuled him more and then at the same time makes him want to stop.

Look at them, they're just staring at me, like

"Come and watch the skinny kid with a

Steadily declining mental health, and laugh as he attempts

To give you what he cannot give himself"

He cannot give himself the luxury of happiness. As he went on with his career it became more and more like a chore, there was mostly down days and of course there were up days, but recently Alex gave his fans the happiness and laughes they wanted while when he turned off the camera he couldn't replicate that same energy as he had before.

It messed him up, he felt himself become separated from his streaming. He wasn't being himself anymore he was being Quackity and that became more apparent as the days passed. He wanted to be himself on camera and at first thats what he thought he was doing. He was himself then it turned into a persona.

Alex wasn't okay and he he needed to take a break from the internet for a while, but he tries to act like he dosent have a dilemma going on inside of his head everytime he sits in this seat. Its for the fans.

"Think that I can handle this right-

I don't think that I can handle this right-

They don't even know the half of this right-

They don't even know the half of it"

"Alex you need to end the stream. Please?"

He looked towards you again where you moved your position from the middle of the bed to sitting up on the end of the bed.

"Ive told you millions of times." He paused for a moment looking down at his lap before looking back up to you. "Im-Im okay." He nodded trying to convince you.

"But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show

I should probably just shut up and do my job, so here I go"

"Cant you belive them!" He laughed to his camera. You scoffed at his comment but still kept an eye on him as he talked.

You didnt need to baby him at all, but right now you were worried about your lover.

Alex continued talking and talking, which you drowned out. You were focused on his face and how he faltered time to time just showing a small frown.

He laughed and showed them a good time even though he was hurting. He kept going and going and you were convinced he was going to hold out until you heard him sniff multiple times while trying to make a joke about the new Minecraft update and how the glow squid has no use.

"Stupid ass squid! Why- why? Its no use expect for glowing ink. Who voted for that!?"

You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme

And if they still don't understand you, then you run it one more time

"Dumbass squid!" He pulled up a picture if the squid as he yelled at it.

You began to worry even more as you saw tears running down his face. He quickly tried to wipe them away, but he knew everyone saw.

Handle this right

You don't even know the half of this right now

Right now (Haa!)

Now

Handle this right

I'll handle this right, I handle this right now

Alex leaned back in his seat and had a blank stare towards the monitor. Looked down for a second and then you heard sobbing coming from his spot. Alex had his head in his hands and was crying harshly into them.

He had finally broken, he couldn't stop the tears from coming and the loud sobs that came from his mouth. He was trying to desperately breathe in to be able to sob, but ended up hiccuping while doing so.

Your eyes widened as you rushed to him resting your hand on his knees and you kneeling infront of him.

"I cant do fu-fucking anything!" He yelled into his hands.

"Hey! I know. Its okay." You tried to console him.

"Its not I try so hard! And I-"

You cut him off. "You are a hard worker Alex and you deserve a week or two off. Take care of you self babe." You stood up bringing his hand with you and trying to make him stand up. He followed your movements and stood up with you putting his head on your shoulder crying into it.

"I just ca-cant right now!"

"You dont have to do anything right now babe."

"Im sorry!" Alex sobbed.

"Dont be." You said bluntly trying to get your lover to calm down.

You rubbed his back soothingly as he sniffled into your shoulder. "Im sorry for ruining your shirt." He tried to laugh through his tears.

"Dont be sorry! Please. You just need rest okay?" You kissed his forehead and he nodded in response.

Alex raised his head up an started to pepper kisses all over your face as you laughed. He gave you one last peck on the lips as he walked away to quickly change into night clothes. You smiled as he laid underneath the covers and continued to softly cry into his sheets. At least he was in bed and not makijg himself even worse.

He couldn't stop the tears from flowing, it was like a flood that could only be stopped with time. He felt like a boulder was lifted off his shoulders only to be replaced with smaller rocks. The smaller rocks was the guilt he held. He felt guilty of making his lover worry about him, he didnt want you to worry.

You rushed over to his desk and turned off the stream and his computers not even bothering to give them a goodnight or goodbye. After the computer lights were turned off it was quite dark in the room except for small light.

Finally you were where you wanted to be all day, in bed with Alex. But this wasnt the predicament you wanted.

"Forgive me. I just cant do shit right can I?" His eyes were still full of tears and he was getting tired.

"Alex dont listen to anyone but yourself." You tried to console him.

"That's what I'm telling myself."

Silence filled the room as you looked at him through tearful eyes of your own.

"Alex, you're so amazing and I cant even tell you how much I appreciate you, and how much you change my life. You do so much shit right its scary sometimes. Some days I think you're perfect, but there's-"

"There's no such thing as perfect." Alex finished your sentence.

"Exactly! Even the best people have their downfalls, they just dont show it. And Alex I know you struggle with that! All I can say is that I love you for you." You finished.

"Can I talk to you about my dilemmas?" He tried to laugh again.

"Tomorrow we can talk. We both need the rest." You said to him as he closed his eyes and nodded in response. He gave you a kiss on you lips before laying back down to sleep.

"Thank you."

"Thank you

Good night

I hope you're happy"

TRENDING

ARE YOU OKAY

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[n1k1tty]

keep it on the down low - nishimura riki

╰─ ever since you were selected as riki’s next partner for his upcoming dance collab, you may or may not have developed feelings for each other. but despite their companies not really supporting dating in their idol's careers, both riki and y/n tried to keep it on the down low. key word: tried

pairings: idol! riki x idol! reader

genre: fluff

It was around 2 am in the morning when you and Riki decided to stay for a little bit more to finish up the first part of the song.

"1 2 3 4, 5 6 7 8" Riki counts as you both move in sync, he smiles at your worn out figure laying down on the ground "tired? we can wrap this up if you want to"

He sits down next to you, handing you his cup of cold water. Your mind secretly going on frantic over his little gesture "Let's just finish this last part and i'm heading home- unless you're tired too-" you sip the water, sitting up.

"-Nah, nah i'm not tired yet" He shakes his head. crap, did that sound too desperate? Riki asks himself, trying his best to not make it seem like he was avoiding your gaze

"Alright then, 2:30 we'll leave" You say, walking towards the table as you place the cup. Riki seriously didn't know how calm and collected you were especially with just the two of you alone, together. No managers, no members, nada.

You start playing the music, feeling yourself getting more exhausted each minute that passed by. Sloppily moving your body with the rhythm. Of course that didn't go unnoticed by Riki.

As the song ended, you both face each other. It was a part of the dance, but your face being barely an inch from Riki's wasn't. You both froze, not knowing what to do. Well, facing a different way was another solution, but neither of you wanted to do that, let's be honest.

At this moment, Riki didn't give a shit.

He grabbed you by the waist, faces inching closer by the second. But before your lips could touch—

“This one is for the boys with the boomin syst— Riki? Y/n?” Heeseung takes a second to blink, eyes refusing to see what he was seeing “I uh, I gotta go. My manager is asking if i’m at home. See you Riki, Bye Heeseung” You hurriedly pack your things, face red from embarrassment and the thought of you and Riki almost kissing.

“Hyung— I can explain—“ Riki walks towards him, trying to grab his hand “—Riki calm down, I wont tell” Heeseung chuckles, patting Riki’s bag “If you don’t know where my airpods are, then go walk her home. She’s not supposed to be out at this hour alone. I’ll take your stuff back to the dorm aight?”

“Oh gosh” you groaned, dragging your feet as you rethink what had happened “What should I do?” You pull your hair.

Just as you were about to turn to the corner you hear him call your name ‘No Riki! This is not the time!’ you panicked, but just before you could act as if you didn’t hear him, he taps you by the shoulder “Riki, just what the hell are you thinking chasing me right at this hour!?” You whisper-yell at him “I was just worried about you walking home at 3 am. Your company sucks for not getting you a driver”

“No I told them I could walk home” You chuckle, in Riki’s eyes you seemed so bothered. Noticing the way you dragged your feet and messy hair “Everything okay?” He asked, facing you

“Riki we’re doomed! Heeseung knows, and maybe dispatch is somewhere out there already taking pictures of us at this mome—”

He giggles “So what?” You gasp, mouth open. You seriously couldn’t believe this kid.

“So what?! Ugh, why do I even put up with you” facepalming as you groan

“Heeseung hyung said he wouldn’t tell, and I don’t care about dispatch, engenes know how close we are and does your fans. They’ll think this is a friendly gesture” Riki reassures you as he looked at the stars, finding peace within your presence.

“So don’t worry okay? Everything will be alright. And if they ever suspect anything, I’ll try to find a way to get us out of it” He stops by your doorstep “Well, this is your dorm, good night y/n—”

Without a thought running through your mind, you pecked Riki Nishimura. Immediately trying to unlock the door “Good night Riki” You smile, squealing once you closed it “I saw that” Ningning smirks. There goes your money.

—

It was the following week after your collaboration with Riki was released and so far everything was going great. Both your fans really liked the content you both made, appreciating your talents and especially loved your ‘friendship’

Riki was right, everything was going to be alright. No dispatch and no suspicions from the fans and both companies.

And ever since that night, you and Riki had decided to make it official. Both agreeing to keep it a secret for now until you were both ready.

Thankfully the fans recognized the playful personalities and cherished your friendship, making videos like “Y/n and Riki being chaotic in their (collab) behind” and “Riki and Y/n being the best friends everyone would want” Of course, your companies noticed the sudden increase of popularity for both groups and proposed an idea of having each other in shows, and other things that could possibly make you interact more. Almost immediately, you both were very supportive of the idea and agreed to do more shows.

—

You guys had an episode to go to the beach with the other Enhypen members. As you were filming the things that you were packing, Riki knocks on your door “Oh? Riki came~” you cooed, smiling at the sight of his head peaking through the door “Y/n! You’re packing more than necessary” He laughs, looking at the big pile of folded clothes.

After a few minutes, you decided to stop filming. Immediately throwing yourself into Riki’s arms “Are you excited?” you asked, rubbing circles on his back “not really— I mean yeah i kinda am but what if the other members—”

He pouts at the sound of you laughing “No ones gonna steal me Nishimura Riki. If that’s what you’re worried about” you squished his cheeks

“Now help me pick which swim suit I should wear”

“Okay :D” He gladly says, sitting patiently as you start gathering the options.

So far, filming with enhypen was fun, you got to play games in the pool, grill meat, answering mini interviews the other members held, you enjoyed it all.

Of course the trip wouldn’t be complete without you and Riki flirting with each other once in a while. Which caught both your fans attention, posting overly suspicious interactions between you and Riki. Leaving comments like “act surprised when they reveal that they’re dating” and “OKAY CAN WE TALK ABOUT: Y/n casually wrapping her arms around Riki’s neck while just staring at each other in today’s behind” all around twitter.

Jungwon being active on all social media platforms didn’t help either, resulting to him realizing that you and Riki were more than just friends. Soon enough the other members figure it out as well, silently sitting back and enjoying you both so oblivious towards the fact that everyone knew.

Meanwhile, you and Riki thought you were doing an excellent job at keeping it a secret. While resting on the same bed watching a movie, your manager barges in, shoving the phone into both your faces “Nishimura Riki, care to explain?”

A screenshot of Dispatch tweeting about your guy’s relationship is trending on twitter, following a few screenshots of fans posting about your relationship.

Your heart drops

His manager chuckled, “I already knew. Just came to tell you CEO Bang supports it and would like to have a meeting about confirming it”

Long story short, you both did agree to publicize your relationship and was extremely happy to hear that the fans supported you both

yall, i dont rlly like how i wrote this :( but i rlly missed posting so…. I SWEAR ILL MAKE BETTER ONES. i just need to find my motivation to do so :)

[shinraapologist]

light novel reread, vol. 2 ch. 6: sword and stress

i LOVE THIS CHAPTER. i love this chapter. i have so much to say but i have no clue how much of it is intelligent whatsoever.

it has what could be one of my favorite yasuda illustrations of all time as the chapter cover. i LOVE him. look at him. i can't believe he isnt more popular. do you guys know about him. has he been posted on tumblr yet. ill post him again as his own post because i love him so fucking much.

this is the first instance of shizuo's point of view. i. cannot stress enough how much i love him.

shizaya people, i get it. this is blatantly homoerotic. my toxic trait is loving when media is unintentionally queercoded. like youre wrote them that way dont get mad at me

i love haruna, honestly. she's kind of a stereotypical yandere side character, but she's also the perfect foil to nasujima.

this chapter does so much for both anri and shizuo. this is my favorite chapter in the 2nd novel, i think.

nasujima is such a scumbag and the fact that he 100% gets what he deserves is just so satisfying. insert mikados rant where hes like "i LIKE happy endings! i LIKE cliches!".

this is a turning point for anri. i like anri a lot, but i feel like i'm going to end up really loving her as she gets some actual development in the novels.

this is the moment that anri accepts herself as a wielder of saika, i think. i really wish i could see this reveal for the first time again.

first of all. sad little wet puppy of a man. i love him so so so fucking dearly. ive said it before but i love shizuo on like. a level amount as i do shinra. i LOVE shizuo. shinras just my blorbo because i have a long standing obsession with very normal looking and pathetic men. another toxic trait im afraid 😔 second of all, im really dissapointed that narita chose to say there was "no one in his vicinity" and make a random homophobic aside about izaya (and not even that they hate each other. that izaya is a man), rather than acknowledge that shizuo already receives love and has people in his life who have already been shown to care about him but currently isnt able to accept it. in the first two novels, it's already been established that he's incredibly close to tom, who's stuck with shizuo since middle school, that him and simon think well of each other despite simon's strong pacifist personality, that he's been friends with shinra since he was like five years old, and that he and celty are each other's best friends, not to mention that his family is supportive and loves him unconditionally, especially kasuka. it's just lazy/bad writing to say shizuo is unlovable and then follow that with a passage about him believing "he wasn't allowed to have love for anyone".

narita: this man is a freak. hes a monster hes unlovable. narita, writing celty immediately after: this freak is SO cool. i fucking love this guy

as president of the shizuo and celty are best friend fanclub, this screenshot is something that can be so precious to me, personally, (its saved on my laptop as badass dude)

narita: everyone is scared of shizuo. theyre too scared to love him narita, writing shizuo: thats stupid! im the one whos scared!

it could be my processing issues, but i feel like this is so much clearer in the novels than the anime.

no further comment.

the way that shizuo speaks to his anger as if its a seperate entity from him is very interesting to me. baby boy please go to therapy <3

she's so real for this. i love her.

this is the last chapter of volume 2. all thats left is the epilogue/next prolouge

[officialinuyasha]

InuYasha Wide Edition #25 Translation - Kikyou

Original Japanese Scans Provided by Me

Spanish Scans Provided by muffin_0626

Translated by @marusamaa-tradus​

Proofread and localized by me

Rules: No screenshots or using my photographs, copy/paste, not using without permission, reblogs/linking only

The second life of a Pure Priestess

Kikyou was a Priestess with the task of purifying the Shikon Jewel. Obviously, her soul was pure. However, she fell into Naraku’s trap and lost her life. Her soul was reborn as Kagome Higurashi after 500 years, however, she also came back to this world after 50 years thanks to the witch Urasue’s spell. Although it wasn’t something she desired, Kikyou started her second life as herself.

Body: a body made of bones and burial ground

Kikyou’s appearance is that of a normal human woman, but her origin is her own bones, as her spiritual energy remained in them, and the burial ground around her. For this reason, even if she’s physically injured, she can’t bleed. Her soul was already reincarnated as Kagome, so only a little part of it is in her body.

In such conditions, to move herself, she has to feed her soul continually. For this reason, she uses some demon called Soul Collectors that gather the souls of dead women who died in battles or due to an illness (shinidama).

(page 2)

A powerful spiritual energy that drives evilness away and purifies souls

When she was alive, Kikyou had a very powerful spiritual energy. This didn’t change after she was revived with a body made of her own bones and burial soil. She, who possesses a great sense of duty as a Priestess, doesn’t hesitate when it comes to using her power to purify the souls with no salvation. She purifies the places where there were evil forces and can send tragic, desperate souls to heaven. These are her basic abilities as a Priestess.

She can find perfidious objects, push away the messengers of the other world with the tip of one of her fingers and remove evil illnesses. Besides, her strong spiritual power is revealed when she fights against a malevolent foe. She’s able to protect herself by creating a barrier and hiding inside of it, or sending Naraku’s attack back to him, for example. However, her real power resides in her attacks. She concentrates her spiritual energy in the tip of one of her fingers to fire it or blow away an enemy when it touches it. When she’s using her most powerful weapons, the bow and the arrows, she can annihilate demons with a single shot.

She also can seal those opponents she doesn’t need to annihilate for almost all eternity. Her power is a great threat for perverse demons, even Naraku feared her and was cautious when it came to her…

(page 3)

-A passionate soul who lived two lives-

A brief moment of tranquility

When she was protecting the polluted Shikon jewel, Kikyou started to feel a strange closeness to InuYasha, who was constantly bothering her to get the sphere. InuYasha felt the same way, that’s why she didn’t eliminate him and he didn’t think of killing her. Little by little, she got close to the half-demon and, ironically, this caused her spiritual power to become weak. Nevertheless, she thought of turning him into a human with the power of the jewel and wished to live by his side as a normal woman. It was a brief moment of tranquility.

Her wrathful second life

The delicate feeling Kikyou developed for InuYasha was betrayed by himself. She died due to the injuries she received, feeling great wrath towards her beloved… In reality, it was a trap set up by Naraku, though she had no way to know that. Besides, this feeling remained after being brought back to life through the witch Urasue. At the instant of her rebirth, she showed animosity towards InuYasha. Even after knowing the truth, this feeling didn’t disappear. Kikyou’s second life had begun with a feeling called “wrath” that she never had before.

The envy she feels towards those who are living now

Apart from the aforementioned, the young woman begins to feel “envy”, which she had never experienced during her previous life as she lived peacefully. She shows evident hostility towards Kagome, who took care of InuYasha, the same person Kikyou wanted to heal, and healed him. When she had just been reborn, she even tried to attack Kagome. Her time is stopped but InuYasha’s and Kagome’s keeps moving… As she was unable to accept this, she even invited InuYasha to the realm of the dead.

(page 4)

Her will, which tries to defeat her enemy

Kikyou’s feelings change little by little: they evolve from wrath to the purpose of annihilating Naraku and purifying the Shikon Jewel. Even if she still felt wrath towards Naraku, she chose to follow her mission as a miko. At the end she guides Kagome and fights without hesitating to sacrifice her reincarnated life to defeat Naraku along with the polluted Shikon Jewel. At this moment, the envy she felt towards the living had already disappeared.

Her saved soul

Right before Kikyou’s second life comes to an end, Inuyasha goes to see her. She lives her last moments in his arms… He entrusts the rest to Kagome and, at the moment when she’s free from her role as the protector of the jewel, she can be “just a woman” at least.

InuYasha went to see her… Kikyou, who had lived as a priestess who doesn’t show her feelings for many years, could finally show an honest smile. Finding herself free from her duty and all wrath, her soul was saved.

(page 5 Interview with Rumiko Takahashi)

Kikyou, a major pillar that guides the story

When Kikyou appeared at the beginning of the story, I hadn’t decided on her specific characteristics but I thought she would be a pivotal character as the story advanced. She’s a character I created little by little, thinking about how her personality would be. The story advanced a bit and she was revived by the witch Urasue, but I had the intention to revive her since the beginning because even if their recollections are told, if the character doesn’t exist, we won’t know if this is true or false. I had to make her appear by all means. In consequence, she became a character that kept appearing until almost the end of the story. Kikyou had a great presence that helped guide the story.

A character that created tension within the story

Kikyou almost always had her own intentions, it was one of her characteristics, that’s why every time she appeared you could find some kind of tension. Or rather, she just appeared in scenes of tension, she wasn’t relaxed and had no comical element around her. At first she was always angry; at the end she became some kind of leader. Considering this, you can suppose she thought about various things. I think that, as she died being deceived, she learnt about what really happened little by little and started reflecting about her duty. Regarding this, since the moment she was revived I think that she had more time to think.

She could fulfill her purpose during her second life

In the battle against Naraku I think that, apart from her sense of duty, her own feelings of hate were involved because many things happened to her because of his fault and she had to die. I think that made her feel rage. Finally… She died in front of her enemy and I suppose she wished to stay a bit more, but she was able to fulfill all her purposes and she did it very well. At the end, she died in the arms of Inuyasha. It was the only thing I could do for her when drawing that moment…

Kikyou is one of my favourite characters from “InuYasha”. It’s a bit strange, but for me she was like Rikiishi (1) from “Ashita no Joe” (2)!

NOTES:

1- One of the most important rivals of the main character, Joe. 2- Manga created in 1968 by Ikki Kajiwara and illustrated by Tetsuya Chiba.

[curseofaphrodite]

hi hi hi hi

fuck exams tbh i hate it with my everything *sobs* anywhore wishing you do well in your exams

aNYWAYS GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TODAY I LIVED MY WATTPAD MOMENT 😩 so yk my bf he came to my house and i was writing bio test at that time so he was talking and annoying my mother mary 😍👌 anyways once i finished the test he was like "aw i'm so proud of you yayay" *kisses my forehead* oh my god i died and came back bc that was so cute??? and the fact that he knew i probably need some sweet words bc yk i was sick and all so i missed a lot of time. NOW ONTO THE ✨WATTPAD✨ moment the next thing he says is "aren't you a good girl? why yes you are. my good girl." oh my god the fucking butterflies 🦋🦋😩🙏 (i'm pretty sure a whole ass earthquake occurred inside my stomach-) and and and he whispered it in my ear good great god it was so hot i think he knew that did things to me bc then that mf proceeded to smirk (he looked hot asf okay? he didn't look like some old creepy man while smirking. he a seggsy mf sORRY)

no thoughts mind empty just-

moving on

tHE PERSON WHO DRESSED UP AS MY GIRL OLIVE SMITH I HOPE YOU FIND SOMEONE LIKE ADAM CARLSEN<33 (lmao i stalk your profile when i'm bored sorry not sorry astoria)

and why have you not read the love hypothesis tori 🤨🤨🤨🤨 i force you to read it the second you're free ;) [pls do read it so we can simp over adam carlsen together ffs none of my friends like reading and i'm this close to find new friends- nvm i'm changing school so i kinda have to find new friends anyways] [have you read spanish love deception six of crows duology folk of air series dear aaron from lukov with love luna and the lie shatter me series ACOTAR series it ends with us reminders of him ugly love basically any coho books//mariana zapata books?? say yes pls i'm losing my mind i need someone to discuss these with &&& simp over the characters hahah lol i'm rambling nonsense omg bye i'll just go ig] [oh and punk 57 && marriage for one too for plot obviously never for the great smut and hot female oc] i swear i'm not high

since i'm such a generous person (🤣🤌) i'm gonna share another poem of mine with you (only you get to read it vip friend wife things💕)

me 🤝 using emojis unnecessarily

TAKE CARE I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE YOU DO WONDERS IN YOUR EXAMS MWAH MWAH<3

🔮

me 🤝 people who use emojis a lot

first up PLS YOUR BOYFRIENDS SO COOL IM YOUR MAID OF HONOR OK ITS LEGAL NOW IM LEGALLY YOUR MAID OF HONOR. tease him back next time and see how he likes it 😩

@iceaesthiexs FIND YOUR ADAM WHOEVER THAT IS.

also yes I'm yet to read love hypothesis hshjhdkj I generally don't read a lot of books which have romance as their main plotline. BUT I DID READ SIX OF CROWS BE PROUD! omg I read Spanish love deception too but it was a hit and a miss for me. I give it 3/5, deducting two simply because the author KEPT SAYING BLUE EYES LIKE JESUS CHRIST REFER TO THIS, you'll see what I mean. ill put a screenshot here anyway

AJDKA the writing was good tho bestie but the story was inconsistent, this is why i stick to murder mysteries.

I SAW YOUR POEM AND QUEUED IT I THINK!! i have a talented poet friend now 😩😩💌

im not gonna do any wonders but we'll seeeeee. how are your exams going on?

[measuringbliss]

I challenged @headgehug, and thus was challenged. My answer to those Disco Elysium questions that have been going around.

Who is your favourite character apart from Harry and Kim? Okay, that's a difficult first question. I did a Tier List after my playthrough and I mostly stand by it, though some characters would be different (Lilienne and Ruby would be higher since I actually got to interact more deeply with them). It's a difficult choice because I love a lot of them for completely different reasons. I think it would be between Evrart, Joyce and Gaston. Gaston is absolutely adorable, Evrart is a wonderful chessmaster I really like, and Joyce is Joyce. Maybe Joyce wins. (The Dicemaker is also very marking, oddly enough.) (Honestly going through my screenshots, Joyce definitely wins. She has a lot of great lines and she's also quirky af, going along with your weird answers.)

What is the one skill you would use to best describe yourself? If I let myself be defined by ADHD (and it is, honestly, a huge part of my being and conducts my behavior), probably Electrochemistry. I crave stimulation and I'm weak to sugar urges. I don't do drugs and that's mainly because I know if I started, I wouldn't be able to stop. Alternatively, Inland Empire and Conceptualization. Which, honestly, are still part of the ADHD umbrella, just less evidently so I guess.

Do you have a favourite Copotype and political alignment and if so, which one? Not really. I was pretty honest in my first playthrough and ended up being a Communist and a Sorry/Boring Cop. To be fair, it's hard not to apologize every five second when you see... how much stuff happened. 2nd playthrough I tried to be a capitalist but around the midway point I ended up being a Communist again. I was more of a Artful/Fancy Cop though. Next time I'll try being an idiot (fascist). I'd say my first archetype was my favorite.

What is one thing you don’t like about the story or that could have been done better? The true culprit, obviously. I've not hidden my distate for them one bit. Worst part of the game. Boring, uninteresting, they may fit the game's themes but----it's just. ugh. I've seen that kind of stuff, I got it.

What is a popular fan interpretation that you don’t like? I haven't delved into the fandom much so I don't have anything in mind.

What do you love about the game? What's not to love?

Is there any type of fan content that you wish there would be more of? See my answer for 5) but there's never enough meta. I hope my Underwear Meta contribution made a difference. DE needs more fanfic, more fanart, more everything. Gimme those sweet Lilienne/Joyce fics!

What is your favourite line from the game? Joyce before she goes away: "One last thing, Lieutenant Du Bois/nameless detective." She starts the engine. "I've given the matter much thought and come to this conclusion: You're not an amnesiac. You're *insane*. I know -- because I, too, am insane. I just hide my illness better. And I'm rich." 1. Harry: "How do you keep it together?" Joyce: "The same strict psychological regimen the eighth admiral developed when he crossed the pale and discovered this isola -- the *Volta do Mar*. It's used by interisolary travellers and other troubled souls even to this day." Volition (Easy): "You could use a little of it yourself." 2. Harry: "What do you have?" Joyce: "I'm over-exposed, baby. My travels take me through the pale dozens of times a year. I've got the longing -- and I've got it *bad*." She points to her heart. She would die to return to it. The pale. The past. Anything one can return to. 3. Harry: "Isn't *everybody* a little insane?" Joyce: "No, detective -- no one's as insane as you." +BONUS: Joyce: She smiles. "Watch out for yourselves. They will strike soon." I realize it's an entire scene rather than a line, but there's no line in particular that I can designate, it's the whole moment for me. I feel like I relate hard to this feeling of being, well not insane, but different in a lot of ways, and in ways that make my life difficult, and in ways that a lot of people simply don't/can't get. So having Joyce say to me that she not only can understand me but related to me felt very good to my broken mind. And she can't be fixed, she can only continue to live with it, like other "travellers and troubled souls". Not only that, but she's longing for it, and she has a yearning feeling of nostalgia. I'm prone to that too, or I would be if I hadn't forgotten most of my school years. "Anything one can return to." She needs her anchors. I'm still puzzled by her "on one's insane as you", but I feel like it's a compliment on Joyce's part. She's appreciating Harry (my)'s weirdness and giving it legitimacy, in some way. Appreciation with your issue, not in spite of. And then she asks Harry (and Kim if he's there) to watch out for themselves, before leaving. She truly cares, even though you're a sad excuse of a human being. She truly cares. So that whole exchange, really.

Do you have a favour political vision quest? I only did the Moralist one I think, and I couldn't succeed but it was, um, it had a very weird starting point and it was a mess, but I liked what little I did of it, though it felt really depressing.

What are your headcanons for what happens after the end of the game? Everyone is gay, gets married and lives happily ever after.

Do you want more official games and stories set in Elysium and if so, which ones? No, I think it works nicely as a single unit.

What are your headcanons for pre-Martinaise Harry? Definitely in a relationship with Vicquemare at some point.

What is your least favourite aspect of the game mechanics? Loading screens, though they got MUCH (90%) faster in the latest update on Switch. Also it's hard to be nuanced in that game. Also it's really hard to get into the Thought Cabinet because it just... isn't of much use. In my 2nd playthrough I decided to use it as much as possible, it wasn't particularly worth it.

What was the moment that touched you most while playing? Joyce's departure, as written above. It hit hard in subtle ways. It's rare that I feel understood this much by a videogame character (or even someone at all). The scene where you have to announce the death of a guy to her husband (and then, on a subsequent playthrough, finding that woman in the early days and talking to her knowing perfectly well what would happen. fuck.) is a hard scene, very memorable.

When playing it for the first time, did you go in blind or not? Is there anything you would want to change about your first playthrough? 100% blind. I just knew Kim Kitsuragi existed, and that you could die quickly or something. Wouldn't have changed a thing since my 2nd playthrough covered new stuff.

Wild Pines vs. The Débardeurs’ Union – what do you think of the Evrarts and who do you root for? Oh I absolutely love everyone in this conflict. They're all fascinating as fuck, I'm rooting for both camps at once because Joyce and the Evrarts are so interesting and charismatic.

What skill is the most fun/coolest/most interesting to set as your signature skill? Encyclopedia on 2nd playthrough was nice. I'll try a physical build next time...

What is your opinion on the Elysium lore? I don't think I really care about lore? But also the Pale is very interesting. It's a shame the one character who lived through a lot of moments in a very involving way (Culprit-san) is also awfully uninteresting. There's potential, but burying it in a looooooong ramble about how women are sl*ts and men are simps and the world is decadent and nothing matters or make sense and nobody's worth shit or whatever, I don't think it's particularly captivating. If I want to see an asshole I can just go to r/The_Don*ld or JK Terfing tweets.

Which character arc or piece of lore would you have wanted to be explored more in depths? Everything. I hate that once you've completed somebody's questioning, you don't really get more out of them. It's unsatisfying.

How would you position yourself politically in Revachol? Def Communist.

Is there something that you missed on your first playthrough that completely blew your mind and/or changed how you view the story when you found out it existed later? Not really, but the Church storyline really was an entire third of the game, huh? Spending more time with some characters was nice though. This game really isn't about blowing your mind.

What would your own stats be? Intellect: 4 Psyche: 5 (for the wrong reasons, hello ADHD) Physique: 2 Motorics: 1

What is a thing in fanworks that you eat up every single time? See above answers.

What is your interpretation of the title of the game? As a French person, Elysium immediately calls to mind the Elysée, be it the Presidential Palace or the Champs-Elysées streets full of shops. It's about opulence, grandeur, capitalism. And then you've got Disco. Disco was a major trend born not out of typical people, but from black and queer people. In this regard, Disco is fundamentally opposed to Elysium. Fire and water. The oppressed and the oppressor. And in the game, you're a cop, an official cop, investigating in a place where the locals neither acknowledge your official status nor want you there. Two conflicting forces.

Favourite piece of in-game art (graffiti, poetry etc.)? @headgehug rightly mentioned "Un jour, je serai de retour près de toi" which is absolutely beautiful. My favorite would be "Something beautiful is going to happen". I think it's an incredible sentence.

Just ramble freely about the game and let me know your thoughts.

I've talked too much already lmao.