#ill still cry but like. not as much? not as painfully. it wont feel like whatever i give is been stomped on because Im Not Good Enough | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tomdiddlyumptious · 4 years

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T.H| Love<3

Summary: hehe, this is very dirty. just a vampire!tom x vampire!reader ;)

Warnings: blood kink, biting kink, slapping kink, overstimulation kink, makes you horny that one is stronger then the other kink, kinda, i guess pain kink? Choking kink, dom on dom, dom on sub. unexpected switch. oral, fem recieving. Uhm long smut 2. Enjoy thotters, dirty talk, light bdsm

The sky dark as candles lit on the night stands, the red silk curtains on the canopy of the bed rustling and moving on their own from the large window being open, letting in all the moon and the darkness that seeped through the night. The smell in the room husky, dominance seeping through the dark brown chipped walls and dark oak tiled floor.

Tom was there, on the bed. Sitting up and his head hung low, two of his limbs tied up on separate parts of edges on the bed, he waited for you as he looked down at his painfully hard cock, no shirt on, just black boxers, his hair with no gell so it was there loosely, some strands sticking to his forehead as he was eager for friction but wanted to stay obedient with you and show how proud of him you should be.

He tried spitting on it, embarrassing himself for thinking it was gonna add pressure to his dick, whining and tilting his head back, sexual frustration filling his soul as he started to ear up, he weakly called your name, begging you to some out.

“pleaseplease baby i need you so bad” he whispered, his bottom lip quivering as he was close to crying, trying to pull his arms together but failing, humiliated.

Hearing his voice made you smirk, knowing how bad he wants it and how much he needs it. You quietly walking in but his ears perked up, knowing your there there was a smile on his face, ignoring his cock that was more then clearly standing up.

“You called?” You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms and leaning against the door, feeling his heartbeat from just a few steps away. “God yes” he said weakly, “i need you so bad, sososo bad baby” tears rolled down his cheeks as he sniffled.

“Aww baby dont cry” you cooed, still smirking as you walked to him. You took your time, wearing a large black see-through robe, he could see your nipples poking out and the high thong you had on, swallowing thickly when you slowly took it off. “Is this what you wanted?” You asked, innocently as you rubbed over your boobs, one of your thumbs making its way up to your moisturized lips, putting them in between and swirling your tongue around it, moaning a little making toms eyebrows furrow in anticipation.

You rolled your nipple with your wet thumb, tilting your head back in bliss and small whimpers leaving your lips making tom whine and try to move. you made eye contact with him, smiling and fangs on display, he eased into your gaze, watching as you slowly crawled into his lap, he looked up at you while you looked down at him, hand under his chin as you licked over your lower teeth slowly giving him a show as your other hand slipped over to let his hands loose.

he couldnt even tell that they were off until you brought one to touch one of your beautiful enchanting tit, he looked down at it, light bruising circled around his wrist but warmth in the palm of his hand, you let his hand go. and then it trailed down to his boxers, looking at him making your eyes glow as you kissed him, a small moan leaving your lips when he tweaked your nipple, you rubbed over his raging cock making him whimper and tilt his head back, you took it as kissing his neck, licking over his sweet spot, roughly licking it because you could smell the fresh, rare blood just in his neck, so you bit it, he choked a little, shocked as you backed up a bit, looking at the blood seeping through the bite marks, a dark red, a rich candy paint dark red. it heightened your nose, made your mouth water. “i promise ill take care of you, i just need this” you whispered, before your mouth latched onto his neck, his mouth dropped as he let out little whimpers, you held the back of his neck as your eyes rolled in pleasure, playing with his curls as your hips slowly rocked. you twisted your head side to side,getting lost into his blood until he called out for your name.

and you stopped, coming back up and looking down at him again, your eyes a road raging red as your teeth stained with red, licking over them as a small laugh left your lips “You are so perfect, baby boy” blood still pooling out of his neck as your hand reached down to let his aching cock loose, looking at the tip and its purple, pre cum leaking and you swiped your thumb over it, a moan coming from his lips as he latched onto your waist tight, watching you work your wonders before he held onto your panties, ripping them open. you looked at him with approval while he had a smirk on his face. “put it in for me,” he asked, something new coming over him, you liked it.

you sat all the way ontop of him teasing him with your wet folds before putting it in, you both moaned “mmm, fuck your tight” touching you felt like his hands were on fire, but he enjoyed it, his hands on your hips tight to make you sart moving, your body rocking back and forth as you made eye contact again, your eyes still red while his stayed dark and brown, almost black, his lips pale as something also came to his nose, he could feel your heart beat, the pulse in your neck, so one of his hands came up to your neck, forcing you closer to him as he turned your head, looking at searching for the spot as moans ripped through you. when he found it he didnt hesitate, he digged in, his fangs ripping through the skin as a groan left his lips, he felt like he was in heaven, his hand tight on your throat to keep you from moving, the warm blood going down his thirsty throat, moans leaving his lips as the sides of his lips raised in bliss, small whimpers left your lips as you kept moving for him, his eyes becoming darker as he also swayed his head side to side, getting in deeper as he swear he could feel his fangs grow longer, his mind coating white as he moaned, overwhelmed as his heart beat picked up, his pupils becoming larger as his eyes stayed closed, his other hand going down to your ass, making you go faster as whines left your lips, but he could care less, he choked you tight, more blood feeding into his mouth, he licked over the two holes, not wanted to basically eat you alive before he pulled back, blood also seeping through your wholes as he felt like he became a whole new man, resting down on his back, hands behind his head as he enjoyed the view, cockiness seeping through his veins.

he took it away from you. and now your the weaker one, you took his blood.

guess whos the whiny bitch now?

he thought, a smirk on his face, small moans and his lips opening a little to let out the sounds while you whimpered and kept moving, looking up at him while your hands were placed on his shoulders, cries leaving your lips as you told him you couldnt do it anymore, it felt to good, you were so tired but arent done, you just couldnt do the work anymore. so much blood leaving your neck you almost became paralyzed.

“you sure, darling? because if so...i wont be able to stop” a hand came to your neck again, making you look at him while his thumb swiped over your bottom lip, you nodded looking at the small droplets of blood falling on his chest, you couldnt help but lick it up, your eyes back to their normal color as you nodded up at him, and he flipped you over, his face on top of yours before he turned his head, back to the two holes you go, you sucked and sucked, moans leaving your lips until he told you to stop and the blood just sitting into your mouth before he roughly kissed you, open mouth kisses making the blood leave the corners of your mouth, a mess all over both of your lips as spit and blood was traded, tongues swiping and sucking over each other, the blood rolling down your cheeks and onto the red sheets, your heads turning side to side, so intense and in love with each other. “i wanna fuckin tear you apart” he whispered in your ear, biting it before he placed kisses down your neck, stomach and where you needed him, your hand dropped to his hair as he dug in, wetness and pre cum all over, his lips swollen and pink as he wrapped his lips around your clit, his two fingers fucking into you ruthlessly as your back jerked, moans leaving your lips as you pulled his hair, making him moan and work faster, both hungry for release and he wanted yours, he needed it.

his fingers hit your spot over and over, you bit your lip so hard it drew blood and loud gasps left your lips as you leaned on your elbow, watching tom messily spit on your clit then lick it up repeatedly, his head going side to side as he looked up at you, your legs up in the air before your eyes rolled back, whines and whimpers before your back perked up. “fuckkkkk, im coming-” it was low, low voice until it raised as your cum pooled out of you “TOMMY TOMMY-” your legs shook and he didnt pull away, as much as you tried to push his head back he just growled into you, he didnt feel anything but it was a warning. he swirled his tongue over your whole, adding three fingers now as you let out cries, tears leaving your eyes by being over whelmed, your legs still shaking as your heart beat went racing. toms to dedicated to notice, he instantly slurped when he felt something leak through you, a laugh leaving his lips as he said he could be here all day.

you were fucked out but tom wasnt letting up, he still hasnt got his pleasure yet. he came up and slapped you back into reality “dont you fucking dare” he said, slapping you again making you whine and nod your head. he kissed the place he slapped before pumping his cock and placing it into you, he didnt let you adjust, he was to hungry, your legs on both side of him and moving in sync with his thrusts, his hands laced in yours, pinning them tight over your head “you look so beautiful, look at my dirty slut, so fucked out, taking my cock sooo good, huh?” small whines and whimpers left your lips “aww my little whore cant even fucking talk, her and her small tight pussy, letting me fuck it how i please? thats fuckin right girl, you wanna cum? you fucking beg, d-dont- ah” he moaned, “i dont care if you dont know how, you do it slut, you hear me?” he said, his finger nails tight in your skin as you nodded, “lemme hear you baby girl” “y.....y-...yes!” you had to let it out quickly. “goood girlll” he cooed, letting one go your hands go to swirl your clit. a small scream left your lips, your hips moving away from him as your mouth dropped “tomm- tommy- fuck-”

“dont forget what i told you” he ordered, eyeing you as you looked a hot mess, hair a mess, dried red blood on your cheek as your mouth hanged open and the bottom of your teeth still stained, fangs still out and your hands still above your head, hanging tight onto the pillow sheet. he took both of your legs and brought it to your chest. pounding hard as claps filled the room. “tom-tom can i please-fuck- can i pleaseee- fuck” you almost gave up. “tommy, can i pleasepleaseplease cumm!” your moan now high pitched as tom smiled “yes baby, give it to me- cum on my cock- mhmm, mhmmm” he said, his head tilting back as he felt your walls clench around him, squeezing your knees as a sigh and a gasp left his lips, his movements slowing as his mouth dropped, “fuckkkk” he let out, both of your climaxes pouring at the same time, he rode out both of your highs, milking the cum out of you, the luquids pooling down into the matress. he pulled out and fell beside you, both of your fangs coming back to normal teeth as sighs left your lips, he looked over at you and you were tired, like really tired, but he wanted you to clean up first. “y/n?” “hm?” “lets go take a bath”

he picked you up and placed you into the warm bath, rose petals and oils in, before he came in and laid you on his chest, he pressed kisses on your forehead as sighs left both of your mouths. (lol i couldnt think of anything else)

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland x black!reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland au #tom holland blurb #tom holland smut #HEHE

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scarletwidowaf · 3 years

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Ghost Of You - chapter 2

AN: it seems like this story is going to be full of random conversations and grammar mistakes. I'm truly sorry 😂

Also i need to make a chapter index somehow but im practicaly a dinosaur when it comes to stuff like these.

Warnings: terrible jokes. probobly terrible writing and grammar.

Words count: 1011

tumblr index * ao3 * wattpad :)

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"So now what?" Natasha asked while lying on the couch.

The two women were in Wanda's flat living room. The tv was on and some random movie was playing in the background.

It was three days since Natasha came back and both girls couldn't bring themselves to talk about the situation they were in up until now.

Wanda sat crossed legged on the floor in front of the couch, her hands in her hoodie pocket and her hair in a messy bun.

"What?" Wanda asked, her eyes still fixed on the tv but her mind seemed to be in a different place.

"You okay?" Natasha asked.

Wanda turned around to meet her gaze, the younger girl smiled softly at Natasha

"Yeah. I was just.. thinking" she confessed.

"About what?"

Natasha's asked softly and wanda found herself using every inch of self control she had to stop herself from crying.

'About us' She thought.

"About everything" she said.

"Something in particular?" Natasha asked and moved to sit on the floor next to wanda.

Natasha thought wanda looked beautiful.

She always thought that, but now she couldn't stop her heart from beating fast. She hoped wanda cant hear it.

Wanda looked older then before the snap, which was a bit odd considering the fact she was one of the snap victims and didn't really grow old in the past 5 years.

But she looked older now. She looked troubled and in constant pain and Natasha wanted to help her but couldn't do much. She couldn't even hold her hand or play with her hair like she used to.

Yet, Wanda was still painfully beautiful with her green eyes, plumped red lips and her brand new honey-blonde hair.

The last time wanda changed her hair color was after Germany, back then both girls decided to change their natural hair colors so it wont be as easy to identify them. Natasha chose blonde and Wanda chose red because 'it reminded her her favorite person".

Wanda didn't answered, instead she turned her attention back to tv.

Natasha didn't pressure her any further, knowing the younger girl will come around eventually.

"We should try to figure out how to fix this situation" natasha said and wanda laughed softly.

"Someone's in a rush. Do you have something better to do? Do tony, steve and you were raving in heaven before i took you away?" She jokingly said and natasha smiled, Happy for the change in mood.

"Yes. That's exactly the reason" Natasha went along with the joke.

"I knew it" wanda winked at her.

"Really bold of you to assume i ended up in heaven" natasha said with a small smirk. Her eyes sparkle.

"You literally died to save the universe, romanoff"

Natasha smiled. It wasn't a smirk or a knowing smile, it wasn't a fake one of one of her cynical ones. It was a real smile, one of the rare smiles that was saved for special people.

"And look where it got me" Natasha joked.

"Next to me"

The two set in comfortable silence and finally moved their focus back to the tv, both leaning on the couch's front.

"Do you think I'm a bad person?" Wanda asked after a few minutes. Natasha turned to her and Wanda turned off the tv.

"You? Never"

"A lot had happened in the last few months, Natasha"

"I doubt it will change my mind. Nothing can change my mind about you Wanda."

It wasn't hard for Wanda to find Natasha's eyes in the dark. The two sat next to each other and Natasha's eyes were one of Wanda's favorite things in the world.

"Do you still love me?" She asked and Natasha laughed softly.

"Unfortunately yes" Natasha smiled sadly.

"Why is that so unfortunate?"

"Well 1- because Im dead." She joked.

Wanda waited for her to continue.

"And 2- because even if I wasn't it wouldn't have changed anything. You did your choice, and it was the right one."

Wanda knew Natasha was right.

Their situation was complicated from the moment they started to see each other as more than just friends.

they were always close but somewhere along the line things started to get another direction.

Natasha never saw Wanda as a kid, yet, she never let herself look at Wanda as an adult too. Since they had a undeniable age gape.

when they met Natasha was already an adult while Wanda was a 16/17 years old teenager.

After a few years alongside each other, in the facility and on the run, Wanda started to develop a crush on the older woman.

At this point Wanda wasn't the young teenager she was when they met, yet it took Natasha a while to acknowledge her feelings towards the younger woman.

When she finally did it it was too late, Wanda and vision started dating and Wanda was happy. And that's all Natasha ever wanted for her.

On the other side of the line Wanda knew Natasha liked her, she found out about it one night when the two sat in their shared hotel room and ate Chinese food. She somehow ended reading Natasha's mind on accident.

It made her happy and scared at the same time.

She truly liked vision and everything about their relationship was so natural and easy that she couldn't bear the idea of not having it. It was the small amount of normalcy she ached to have in her life.

with Natasha it was different, she truly loved her. In every way possible. In a desperate'i will take a bullet for you' kind of way. And it scared her the most.

both girls knew that in some tragic sadistic way, they were each other's soulmates. They would always find the way back to each other. Thats just how it always was. They were two different sides of the same damn mess.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Natasha asked nervously after a few minutes of silence.

"Ill sell them for a dollar"

"That was terrible" the older woman laughed.

"Yeah well. And you're dead"

#natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #avengers #avengers: infinity war #elizabeth olsen #avengers age of ultron #avengers: endgame #marvel #wanda x nat #wanda x natasha #natasha x wanda #black widow #scarlet witch #scarlet widow

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oh-for-fic-sake · 4 years

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Trophy Chapter Six

The story begins to unfold and you find yourself makeing a deal with the devil.

Masterlist

Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five

Warnings: Adult Situations +18, Smut, Oral (f), Noncon, Possesive/Obsessive Behavior, Coercive Behavior, Daddy Kink, Dark Fic, Swearing.

A/n: I am so sorry this has taken so long I got writers block, real life fucked me over and then got side tracked and have kept coming back to it I was unsure how to start the ball rolling but I hope this was worth the wait enjoy XXX

Taglist: @havenoffandoms @aphrodites-punch @charlieferret @thatgirly81 @two-unbeatable-beaters

Stephan growled walking into work slamming the door behind him he was fuming.

"FLETCHER! WHERE ARE YOU?!" He shouted walking past one the one of the others who was doing their shift ignoring the confused look she cast him, he didn't have time to explain going into the kitchen out back that had a set of stairs leading up into the small chic apartment Fletcher used for entertaining his 'lady friends'. Stomping up the stairs before banging on the door he knew that his 'boss' was here, he had already checked his other home. Finally a weary Fletcher opened the door.

"What? Oh Stephan its you what is it?" He grunted rubbing his eyes only to widen them as he was pushed back into the hall by the 'dane'.

"She isn't in the UK is she?" He growled holding the man by the collar of his shirt

"Wh-what? Who are you-"

"Y/n! I saw her earlier today!, she was being carried out of the police department barefoot by that friend of yours! Cavill? Or something ,She was crying her heart out, shaking she was fucking terrified! He put her in a four by four and left! What the fuck have you done?! I know your behind it! Where is she?" Stephan shook in anger the Fletcher quivered he stuttering for an answer.

"Nothing ! I haven't done nothing! She told me she was leaving, had been offered her dream job in the UK then left I swear I don't know! She gave me the flight number and everything! Please I swear. I'll give it to you got the text still check yourself!" Stephan pushed his way into the apartment Fletcher followed quickly getting his phone showing the messages to the irate man.

"See she left, the woman who was taking the job got ill she was second pick that's why it was last minute,the flight numbers there" he said pointing out the long code of letters and numbers he took a step back releasing him. Taking out his phone snapping a shot of the screen nodding he would check, in some ways he regrets taking this job ,agent of the CIA posing as a fucking danish immigrant cafe worker, but Cavill was a big fish who had moved to a small pond and they wanted to know why, what could possibly make the king of the underground and black market suddenly up sticks an move?. Fletcher was the easy way to stay in the loop as Cavill’s men floated about this side of town more then anywhere else, a lot of people owed him in these parts it seemed. Observe and collect evidence. Those were his orders, they'd never managed to pin anything on the bastard he was already far to established, had his fingers in to many pies by the time they caught on. A slippery son of a bitch smart and cold a man of many faces could back you into a corner within a few sentences you'd be none the wiser until it was to late, but as they say never say never. Falling for you wasn't supposed to happen it just did, you was sweet caring and there was something about you that he couldn't put his finger on, your down side was how naive you could be. His chest clenched painfully you stood no chance against someone like Cavill. He shook his head, he had to focus on the task at hand, It was an undercover job, the in tell said that he had dominated the town using sordid secrets, blackmail and violence. A true dictator, just like before and just like before there was a sore in violent crime and substance abuse. Stephan shook as he felt waves of anger, it was lucky he didn't have his gun on him he'd fucking shoot this little prick right between his beady little eyes. He had already guessed what had happened. Cavill had taken you, for what he didn't know but considering you was retrieved by him personally he had assumed you wasn't put into the prostitution circuit. Thank god. His stomach churned at the thought ,he would check the flight records and cctv to be certain, but he new what he saw and come hell of high water he was going to get you out, some way he would free you. He couldn't just yet it was important that they bring him down, he can't risk the lives of hundreds of trafficked prostitutes and drug mules over one woman, no matter how he feels personally, he can't throw away year long operation, he'd be sacked or worse. Sighing he turned

You shivered as you came to melting into the mattress below you something was lightly tracing over your back random patterns back and forth. You hummed lightly and snuggled into the pillow more hearing a chuckle.

"Oh and Stephan don't bother coming back here your fucking fired!" he swore as Fletcher spoke. Shit. He growled punching the wall once he left the cafe heading back to his accommodation, no doubt Fletcher was contacting Henry this very second he'd have to disappear and fast. he could look through flight records and cctv when he gets settled again but right now he had to act as tho he was being targeted, because as of right now he probably was and he'd be damned if he was going to be another K.I.A statistic. He hoped he was wrong, that you had indeed boarded the plane and was half way across the world but he doubted it.

Henry stayed holding you long after the sheets had been changed, for the first time in months maybe years there was a calm quiet in his head, no schemes, no threats or work just a calm quiet enjoying your compliant company. He stroked your hair running his splayed fingers across your scalp. He felt a little guilty for what he put you through...It wasn't supposed to be like this, the kicking and screaming...but he couldn't help it! he didn't have the time anymore. He loved you but you'd forced him to take you. It was your fault he reasoned as he shifted you tucking you into his chest more you murmured in your sleep but relaxed slowly into him. Yes you forced his hand, you were the one who sought out that- that boy when he was busy working getting everything ready to seduce you slowly. It wasn't ideal but whats done is done, Fletcher fucked up and you had to pay for that. He sighed leaning further back into the chair he rested in. He could remember the first time he saw you, standing behind the counter you'd looked up surprised that someone was in so early you beamed him a smile that stopped him in his tracks, you hadn't known who he was he knew because you didn't freeze or cower, instead asked how you could help when he had asked for your boss, you pursed your lips wrinkling your nose a little telling him he wasn't here, but you offered him a coffee while he waited. He'd nodded saying make whatever expecting some shit low brand coffee either way, he stood watching as you disappeared behind the huge machine pouring you both a latte peeping over it making small talk. Watching eagle eyed as you danced around the kitchen beyond the cafe singing quietly mixing together some chocolate treat. Something had just clicked in him, he couldn't help it there was an aura about you as you pottered about the small space. He took slow sips you were beautiful and cheerful enjoying your life to the fullest. He had wanted you then and there you had somehow captured his whole attention, his mind wasn't wandering through dark vicious thoughts, hell he had forgotten the threats he had lined up for your boss who was fucking you over without even knowing. That was when he knew he had to bring you home you was sweet and vulnerable you needed to be protected and loved and he had the means to do that. He had got your name from your boss that day using it the make a file on you, within two days he new everything about you, address ,date of birth, medical history, schools, family history hell he even knew what your shoe size was 2.5 (us 4.5) you hated it finding it impossible to find heels. Then he remembered that night, walking into his own fucking restaurant halting seeing you giggling happily in a small booth near the window, his heart came to a painful screeching halt when he saw you kiss the other man-boy much younger then him, it was as if his whole world had come rushing back in one massive wave of anger and betrayal. He got a small taste of what was in store for him if he didn't have you, he now new what it was he had been missing. He shook the thoughts form his head, you were here with him and that was that finally getting up placing you carefully in the bed tucking you in before shedding his clothes and sliding in beside you ruffling your hair lightly then drifted off into sleep.

"Oh you like that? I will have to remember to save this as a reward" you flinched hearing him so close moving slightly you get ready to roll away from him only to be stopped by his hands pressing down lightly."No, stay there good girl" you frowned as his words were accompanied by a small squeeze to your tender bottom making you hiss and whine a little throwing your hand back to his trying to pry them off.

"Oh yes you are still sore aren't you? A very hot bottom. Good maybe this will help you behave for a while" you winced a little at him not wanting to be reminded of yesterdays events he moved closer to you kissing the back of your neck leaving it tender with a harsh bite."So today is a new start especially now that you've got that little escape attempt out of your system, things will be much easier now wont they?" you grit your teeth not knowing what would come out of your mouth if you tried replying. He moved rolling to his side you felt his eyes on you

"Look at me pet" you did without a thought he smiled almost sweetly at you leaning in placing a kiss on your cheek moving to cup your face slowly running a thumb across the apple of your cheek his lips parted eyes twinkling in the morning sun, you held your breath, he was magnificent yet terrifying you knew that he could easily make you fall for him.

"Soo good such a precious thing love, so beautiful and pure.....I expect you to be a good girl for daddy now you hear me? no more tantrums or pouting I don't want to have to punish you again ,rest assured that yesterday was just the tip of the iceberg I can come up with things much worse for you if you try to push me again. Please don't" You reluctantly closed your eyes before pulling away from his hand looking down to the sheets his words breaking the spell that had caught you ,you nodded he gave you a lopsided smile. He leaned in kissing your hair softly tilting your head and began sucking your bottom lip into his mouth running his teeth across the delicate inside biting it a little his hand dragged through your hair pulling you closer he slid beneath you on to his back tugging you across his chest still holding your head you gasped as a hand rested on your back drawing your nighty up you whined trying to tug it down but he had fisted the hand holding it refusing the let it go once you gave up fighting him he slowly began tracing light patterns as he went pulling the fabric over your hip,s you shiver relaxing as his fingers dragged lazily over your skin, he bit again on your lip harder when you wouldn't open your mouth to his probing tongue in a tiny protest the force of his bite make you gasp in pain using this to his advantage he opened his mouth wider kissing deeper, dipping his tongue into your mouth licking at yours trying to get you to respond. Closing your eyes you moaned softly unable to help your self as his tongue twisted and lapped inside your mouth you squeezed your thighs together as you felt yourself getting hotter, despite being scared of him you couldn't help your bodies reaction to him he was attractive, you was only human you reasoned with yourself before any shame could settling in your gut you melted into him, he was a god of a man you would say he had work done if you hadn't known him, strong defined and unreasonably perfect on the outside, had you been a religious women you'd say he was the devil himself beautiful and dangerous, temptation and sin personified and you was a mere mortal women falling into his claws, everything was about him physically seemed to have been created to draw you in even his scent was attractive engulfing you a combination of the lightly spiced aftershave he wore and something you couldn't name other then to say it was him the scent he left on his clothes and sheets. He deepened the kiss the hand on your back creeping down to your rump quickly pulling you up and over his strong thigh landing you to lie between his legs pressing his crotch to the seam of your thighs using the hand on your bruised ass to grind you slowly, grunting as he moved you up and down. You squeaked feeling a wet spot dragging across his weeping head coating the inside of his boxers seeping through wetting your thighs. He pulled his mouth from yours closing his eyes resting his forehead against yours panting harsh breaths across your skin.

"FUCK! your soo perfect and mine all mine shit that's good baby girl" you whined as your rocking made your heart race blood rushing south to your clit as he grunted groaning pulling you tighter to his pelvis he picked up the pace then stopped growling flipping you over to your back shuffling his boxers off kicking them off of the bed, you gulped as you saw his erection think veins wound around him like vines bulging and pulsing as he twitched. It was an intimidating sight to behold angry and swollen, proud jutting out pointing straight up to his stomach it'd take both hands to try and cover it even then your not sure your palms would even touch the purple head of it let alone cover it. he smirked as you looked at him, there was fear and lust in your eyes, he knew you wanted him deep down, but you was still fighting yourself over it, he fisted himself pumping his cock slowly watching you watch him squirming on the bed, oh yes you wanted him but not enough yet, he made a point to go slow thrusting into his tight fist letting you get an eyeful of his stomach muscles contracting grunting with each movement. You blushed wanting to look away yet unable to it was like watching a crash, you wanted to turn away knowing what was coming but still stared. He stopped releasing himself dragging you up the bed a little before lowering his weight on one hand by your head you panicked thinking that he was going to force himself on you and tried to pushed yourself up the bed away from him pleading.

"No no please! I don't want to! don't force me please please don't!" he stopped hushing you looking you in the eye, you cringed as he brought his wet hand to your face brushing his knuckles against your cheek.

"shh shh calm down little one its okay everything is going to be okay.... daddy wont force you I promise .....no i wont hurt you like that..... besides iv already told you, you wont get my cock until you come crawling on hands and knees begging for it. But there are many other ways I can get my fill until you do come to me gagging for it" he said placing his knees outside of your legs he smirked at your doe like expression confused by what he meant until he laid over you lowering his hips against yours feeding his cock into the small v where your thighs met pressing the top of hit hot length slipping between your pussy lips rubbing your engorged clit, you gasped arching then placed your hands on him, one flat on his chest the other on the bicep by your face shaking as he began moving thrusting his hips forward and back dragging your clit with it

"OOOOHHHH FUCK YES!that it baby fuck so good such a good princess you are for daddy MMMM FUCK!" he panted in your ear using his legs to press your tighs tighter together trapping his cock, making you massage him, you cried out as his veins felt like ridges as he pumped himself against you smearing your arousal across him making it easier for him to move.

"OH BAby yes! your enjoying this aren't you? I can feel your cum soaking me love" you flushed unable to stop trembling as he caught the underside of your clit bumping it his the ridge of his head your moans grew more breathy as he tilted a little to keep hitting it brushing his cock against your opening with every pass , he was long enough that his head was sliding down spreading your sore cheeks apart slightly making your pucker twitch with each downward thrust, he continued his pace trying to draw this out as long as possible, his drawn out moans and praises where breathed straight into your ear as he curled over you the lewd sounds making you clench. You dug your nails into his arm as your belly twisted breath coming out in heavy pants as your pussy tried to capture him at every thrust clenching desperately trying to direct him into your awaiting heat unsatisfied being left empty he laughed biting your ear lobe between his sharp fang like teeth releasing it with a pop.

"You know I can feel that!, feel your little cunt trying catch me, it-hahshit!-its quite cute really OH FUCK! yes!. You want me. Want me to feed you my aching cock and sooth your insides with my cum. To paint your insides again and again until you cant bear the thought of not having apart of me filling you on way or another. Don’t worry babe I wont let got go empty ever again!! All you have to do is BEG!! SHIT SHIT YES THAT'S IT STAY their-AH right there little one ahhh!" you whined as he spoke growling out the words as he rocked into you faster lewd wet slaps as his thick thighs rubbed and slapping into yours you moaned throwing your head back trying to fight the sensations he was forcing onto you.

"YES yesyesugh I know, oh pet I know but I'm not going toOH!, not until you admit to yourself. Not until you admit the truth. You want me. You LOVE me! UGH shit fuck fuck I'm cumming! I'm cumming! good girl shit Daddy's gonna cum right in your little pussylips fuck!" you shook below him as he fucked into your thighs feeling him stutter his hips releasing down into the crack of your ass coating the sheets beneath you. he laughed sweaty holding himself up on shaking arms then ran his cock across you smearing his cum between your lips making sure to leave you messy as he pulled back coating your clit

"OH sweety thank you were such a good girl for daddy" he rolled to the side of you running a finger spreading your lips as he pushed a pad to your cum soaked clit rubbing making you jerk up violently as he rolled the throbbing flesh side to side.

"oh you haven't cum have you? poor baby, well maybe if you'd tried to join in more you would have.... oh well to late now maybe next time hey little one?" he said making you groan as he kissed your lips licking the seem of them them he pulled back licking your lips. You cringed a little wiping away his spit from you he laughed resting on one elbow his other hand ruffled your hair.

"Oh sweetheart you don't like it when I lick you? Oh I bet you would if my head was here" you froze as his wandering fingers probed your core and tried tilting up to him wanting him to carry on, to do... something? anything? tears sprung to your eyes when he pulled back gathering your mixed arousal as he went before sucking them clean groaning as he did.

"sooo good , you taste so good baby I could eat you for hours

""Pl-please daddy" he grinned you was so aroused that you couldn’t deny that you craved him, wanted him to touch you ignoring the little voice that said it was wrong, Henry noticed your little battle continued with a low growl that you felt more then heard, trying to sway you.

"But another time perhaps, tell me would you like that? Would you enjoy your self while daddy feasts on your perfect pink pussy for hours on end? forcing you to cum over and over? I could you know I would be a very happy to oblige" His words were taunting you. You nodded then shook your head confused not sure what you wanted. He smiled before getting off the bed

"But you had your chance today, I cant spoil you now can I? not when I'm supposed to be teaching you your place" he seemed to like having you on edge like this, he plucked his boxers from the floor using them to quickly wipe you down dragging it quickly across you avoiding where you needed him most removing the worst of the sticky cum then through it across the room to the basket. He made his way to the chest of drawers pulling out a black round neck cotton dress decorated with small flowers.

"Come here lets get you dressed" you tilted your head at him as he said that pointing to the floor in front of him. Slowly you moved towards him curling your toes into the hard wood floor fidgeting. He motioned for you to hole

"Wh-what? why? I can dress myself" he sighed exasperated

"I told you that your training starts today little one, you are going to rely on daddy for everything now do as your told pet" his voice was stern again you sighed nodding again.

"Good girl, who knew all you needed was a firm hand? Im confident that we can work this out.... it is a shame tho, if you'd just behaved then I wouldn't have to give you these new rules." You cringed trying not to look at his wet cock swaying with his movements.

"Now arms up" you followed his instructions letting him replace your nighty with the short dress that just skimmed your knees. He watched you for a moment then moved dressing himself in a formfitting top and tight trousers using your nighty to quickly wipe his cock clean, something about the gesture made you feel dirty. Ushering you to the door with a light tug on your wrist you struggled.

"Wait what about? No stop a minute" he ignored continued to the hall

"If you want my attention then address me properly pet." You flushed panicking as he lead you to the door you held on to the frame jerking him to a halt

"Daddy please stop" he faced you still holding your wrist as you held on to the wooden frame.

"What is it princess?" You flushed moving from one foot to the other.

"You haven't given me any .....you know I'm still wet and.......its err I'm naked under this" you said trying to tug the skirt of the dress down completely out of your depth here. He smiled

"Of course you are, what you think I forgot to give you panties? No baby girl that is a new rule, from now on your in skirts and no panties aloud so its easier for me to get at that naughtly little bottom when I need to and easier for daddy to check if his little girl is lying about feeling all tingly , now come on daddy doesn't have all day we have a few visitors today and you best behave or you'll be right over my knee now come on"

"but I’m going to leave wet spots!!"you admonished he laughed

"Yes I suppose you will wont you? If your a good girl daddy will give you a treat later but for now we haven't got the time!" .

"But what if someone see's them?! or-or they see up my skirt?!"he shook his head at your high pitch then tugged making you slip from the door you yelped nervously scanning for the others in the house all the way to the kitchen. One hand holding the skirt tight to your bottom trying to keep it covered wincing as you felt a small trickle of your arousal smear against your upper thighs he scoffed sitting down at the table dragging you onto his lap back against his chest placing your legs either side of his knees spreading you a little, you shivered as the cool air met your wet heat making is impossible to forget the state he had left you in also making sure you felt yourself weeping onto his trousers you moaned in humiliation trying to close your legs but found it hopeless his thighs to strong his bulge was right under your ass and already twitching again.

"Well baby girl, if you act like the little lady I know you are no one will see up your skirt." He said motioning for a plate to be brought over stacked with four slices of toast. You whined trying to wriggle your legs free to close them he held you still groaning in your ear

"No baby stop, fuck daddy just told you we haven't got time for that now!" you pouted at him whining only to get a slap on your thigh you yelped clenching your bottom in response making him dig his fingers in your thigh.

"Enough! not at the table now sit still" he said picking up a small piece of toast holding it to your lips and began feeding you by hand. You flushed feeling exposed as mid way during breakfast the guard from yesterday came in, you knew he couldn't see beneath the table but you couldn't help feeling embarrassed.

"Boss we got a big problem" you watched from the corner eye finishing the mouthful Henry had fed you as you swirled your coffee in your mug then taking a sip trying to focus on anything but the position he held you in you felt Henry sigh exasperated.

"What is it? the Vonnie boys failed a delivery again?" He asked pulling you back to rest on his chest plucking the mug from you placing it on the table then casually lowered his hand to cup your center covering you should the other man peak beneath it, he wouldn't honestly let you be seen by anyone other than himself, the man shook his head.

"No haven't heard from them yet their not due in till this afternoon flight gets in at two its well" he hesitated a moment making Henry growl his hand tightened on your pussy making you mewl trying to push back against him.

"Ive got to many things to do today Luke, spit it out!" His stern voice made you jump tensing as it reverberated through your body, he hushed you kissing your neck.

"Well its to do with the girl, you should see this" he placed a tablet on the table sliding it across Henry huffed and let got of you pulling you to straddle one thigh you moaned quietly as your clit was pushed forward the fabric of his trousers providing friction to the tight bud then began to grind lightly onto it one hand on his knee the other holding the edge of the table, no control of yourself it was far to good to resist Henry quickly put a stop to it striking your sore ass cheek making you yelp holding your hand to it pouting as he held on arm around your waist holding you still, you clenched tight and relaxed then again

"Baby? just carry on and see what happens I said not at the table and I meant it young lady" you blushed looking down knowing that the guard Luke now knew what you was doing you huffed slumping back against him taking that as your little defeat he peered forward over the tablet it. It was an email a short one line it read

Stephan knows he saw you leave the police station

Henry tensed glaring at the note it was from Fletcher you jumped as he slapped the tablet down with the force you was surprised he didn't break it.

"When did you get this?”

"Last night boss"

"LAST NIGHT! and you didn't think to tell me then? the fuck is wrong with you?!”

"We didn't want to interrupt you sir"

"Well What have you done about it?"

"We wasn't sure what your plans were for him wanted to wait until you saw it" Henry slumped in his chair you whimpered as he got angrier

"NOT SUR- I DON’T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS-" he took a breath calming himself, he felt you trembling sighing he rubbed your side a little the action calm the both of you, he continued in a low dangerous voice."isn't it fucking obvious what to do?. Find him .Kill him and keep it clean and quiet like I fucking pay you to do" he growled you gasped at the order then twisted round before he could stop you, kill who? You blood ran cold when you got a glimpse of the name on the screen.

"That's the thing boss its a false identity, he didn't exist until a year ago, already checked his accommodation he is gone. No trail nothing" Henry release a breath through his nose then snarled before standing up abruptly you yelped as he took you with him skirt bunched up over your ass as he did you was quick to pull it down at the sides and front as Henry had you pressed to the front of his hips feet dangling just off the floor, you tried not to swoon at just how easily he hoisted you off the ground with on hand. Now was defiantly not the time.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HES FUCKING GONE?! GONE WHERE? YOU JOB IS TO MAKE SURE THIS SHIT DOESN'T HAPPEN! I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK HOW DID YOU DROP THE BALL THIS FUCKING MUCH?" You shook in his grasp whimpering covering your ears as he screamed at Luke. He stopped regarding you then took a deep breath pointing a shaky finger at Luke.

"Find him, pull in everything trace all cctv in the city if you have to but you find him and get Fletcher here, throw him in the trunk for all I care but bring him here today, and you better hope this kid isn't what I think he is or I will be needing a new head of security!" you shivered there was a crazed tone to his threat growl, the seemed to be all the dismissal Luke needed as he quickly scuttled out of the kitchen. Once you were alone Henry placed you on the seat making his way to the island slamming his hands down on it in temper the loud thump echoing in the room, you watched still quivering terrified of what was going to happen, he cast you a glance sighing making his way towards you watching as you flinched away from him.

"Baby doll? Its okay honey I'm sorry for scaring you.....daddy loves you, you know that right? and daddy isn't angry at you no no not at you my beautiful baby girl shh its okay" You nodded completely freaked out by his sudden switch he crouched down in front of you tucking the hair behind your ears wiping the few stray tears that had escaped gulping.

"A-are you really gonna kill him? Please don't do that please, its my fault I don't want to be the reason please" you cried fearing for Stephan hands clutching the chair seat trying to swallow down the sobs that tried to escape into sniffles, he sighed looking away then fixed you with a sympathetic gaze patting your knees smoothing them with his hands that could probably swallow them both in a single palm.

"Oh baby don't-don't cry on his account, I know you-you liked him but its for the best pet, we can't let him go, he knows where you are and there are some very bad people who would take you away from me if he tells them. Cant you see I'm doing this for you, for us so we can be together, I love you and I cant allow anyone to take you away ,no one not one single person will ever tear us apart. Because we belong together don't we? we love each other and nothing can put a stop to that" He explained you sobbed into your hands feeling sick as he continued to believe his own twisted fantasy of you being a true loving,consenting couple. Stephan would die because of you, Because this dangerous unstable man had an obsession with you. You moved on hand to his cheek shaking your head.

"N-no please I'll do anything please please don't...f-for my sake please, I-I will tell them that I chose to come here! Chose you over him Th-that we're together and he was just jealous of my decision or something but please please please don't do this I couldn’t live with myself" you pleaded to him running your thumb across his cheek before continuing

"I don't think I could ever fall in love with you if you do this" he froze at that if he done this? IF? so there was a chance? you held some feelings for him, you thought that you could love him. Perfect. He pushed his face into your hand slowly kissing your palm, it was the first time you'd touched him without fear, the first time you'd initiated an almost loving gesture, he grasped your hand placing your knuckles to his mouth again. Letting a small smile creep across his face watching you cry, on hand tugging at his shirt begging him so sweetly between small hiccups. His voice dropped lower then you'd ever heard it before

"You would do that baby? You'd tell everyone were together? Stop fighting me? Try to love me and forget about him to save him?" You nodded grabbing blindly at him still whimpering.

"Okay I tell you what pet, you stay with me here, love me and only me and never leave then I will promise you I won't kill him, but if you ever try to run from me his death will last days, I will kill him slowly and painfully you hear me love, you have to swear to me that you will stay think of this as a contract" It wasn’t a question, or request it was an ultimatum, and probably the only offer he would make. You gasped not really expecting him to reason with you, would you sacrifice the rest of your life to save the man you think you could have loved? He held your gaze firm, the blue in his eyes clear and steady it was unnerving as he watched you waiting for your answer. A no would mean a death sentence for Stephan and the truth of what has really happened dying with him. A yes would save his life but trap you under his thumb spending the rest of your days with this beautiful monster, either way you know your never escaping Henry, never. Yesterday was proof enough. So you may as well save someones life along the way right? You took a deep breath finally nodded.

"Yes. If you promise not to kill him" Henry smiled nodding

"You have my word little one, I will not kill this boy so long as you stay with me" he sealed the deal with a slow tender kiss to your knuckles then scooping you up spinning, cradling you to his chest, he was elated, ecstatic this day couldn't turn out better placing you to sit on the table.

"I’m so proud of you baby girl, your soo gooood, that why I love you, I love you so much your everything I'm not. You truly are my better half" You cried into him silent tears streaming down.

"Oh sweet heart don't be sad, no no this is good....Hush now you'll be fine I know this is a big commitment but deep down you love me just as much, your just afraid of admitting it. That’s okay I can wait, we have our whole lives together....Your a good girl you've made daddy so happy baby girl." his words did nothing to stop the tears the finality of them was frightening. Your whole lives the rest of your days being his doll, a toy. the thought made your stomach clench he pulled you down to stand before him wiping at the tears

"Hey now there's no need for tears, its daunting but exciting......I know how about you let daddy give you that treat he promised huh? make my little baby girl feel better hmm? its only fair you've been so good" You shook your head whimpering at him wanting to

"N-no I don't want to now" he tutted at you spinning placing you on the counter stepping between your legs. His hands cupped your cheeks softly.

"Nonsense come on love just a quick little reward and then we can go get you some books and you can spend the rest of the day in the office with daddy" you whined squirming

"no no no please" he sighed at you as he called out over his shoulder making another male enter the kitchen you flushed trying to move your skirt over your thighs not getting far as he was pressing tight against your center

"Tell Luke I've changed my mind, find Stephan but don't kill him just keep tabs on him....still get Fletcher here tho, he may help find him" the man nodded leaving you alone once again"There does that help? he wont be hurt, I just want to know where he is.....better?" you nodded a little you did feel a slightly better until he pulled you closer to the edge of the counter parting your thighs wider quickly you squeaked then he pushed you back flat with one strong hand on your ribs pinning you down. you mewled embarrassed as he flipped your skirt up holding it under the palm pinning you down flat the marble was cold making you shiver as he placed an open mouthed kiss on your lower tummy trailing his tongue down to your mound leaving a wet line in your skin that cooled instantly as the air hit it not stopping you bent your knees feet firmly on the counter gasping as he moved down not wasting any time one latching onto your clit sucking it into his mouth flicking the tip of his tongue across it igniting your pussy anew you pushed on your feet trying to fight his hold on you as his shoulders pressed on your tense thighs you panted shaking your head it was incredible as his teeth pinched the flesh rolling it side to side then pulled back taking the small nub with him then moved forward pressing the flat of his tongue sticking it out rubbing up and down angling the tip to the sensitive skin just behind your clit. you moaned throwing your head back throwing your arms around your right hand found purchase on the edge of the marble counter top your left grabbing his wrist at your ribs.

"OH FUCK! AHH!" you cried out as he sped his tongue then moved lower attaching his mouth over your opening sucking obscenely darting his tongue inside of you making you jolt using your feet to grind down on him as his torturous mouth feasted on you with out pulling back he grabbed your left foot throwing it over his shoulder to hand loosely down his strong back and smacked your left calf from below prompting you to throw it over his left shoulder. you squealed trapping his head between your thighs as he continued to eat you out he pulled back a little you panted breathlessly looking down at him, his face was wet from your arousal he wiped his face with the back of his hand before licking it clean you moaned as the display.

"Fuck you taste fantastic, I could fucking live off this alone!" he said before diving back down tugging you to hang off of the counter pressing your thighs back with his shoulders stretching your pussy taught as he went back to work, the new position pulling your lips back revealing more of your clit to his wandering tongue, you cried out a gruntal moan as he suckled on it flicking his tongue on the underneath slowly the circling its base quickly

"Fuck fuck shit please I-PLEASE I’m gonna cum I cant-" suddenly he thrusted two thick fingers inside you pressing them around feeling his way along your muscles making him self at home inside of you scissoring and circling pressing on your contracting walls whilst sucking on you. You moaned and keened unable to contain yourself digging your heels in his back feeling the strength in his back as he arched over you moaning into you making you jump at the vibrations. you clenched around his fingers yelping as he brushed something deep

"AH! oh god wha? UGH!" you moaned loud spasming around his fingers as they found what he was looking for and rubbed furiously following your hips as you tried to escape screaming as you tense curling your upper body rocking into his hand and mouth desperate to finish as he gave one final painful suck on your clit then bit down hard sending you to your peak. He smiled as you came over his fingers slowing them but not stopping letting you ride him through your orgasm. You saw stars as you climaxed the pleasure making your whole body shiver and jerk every muscle seemed to come alive at once, your nerves on fire before you came down as he pulled his hand and mouth away from you. panting and trembling you looked down at him dazed, eyes glazed over from your after glow completely exhausted you felt alive and drained all at once he winked up at you smirking licking his lips then pulled back standing at full height catching your legs and they slipped from his shoulders before they could hit the counter painfully as dead weight, slowly lowering them to rest over the edge then lifted his drenched fingers to his mouth sucking them clean eagerly. You groaned still trying to control your ragged breaths, that was ridiculous you summarized moving your hands to your hair grimacing when you felt how sweaty your forehead was.

"You have a very unique taste baby doll, i love it so much i might have to have it for breakfast each day what do you think?" you groaned barely able to move

"I think it'd kill me" you panted out he laughed loud running his hands across your thighs then pulled your skirt back down

"well that is what orgasm means, little death" you grunted as he pulled you towards him sliding you to your feet supporting your whole weight as you slumped on him a little still feeling like jelly, then the door opened again Luke walking through.

"Sir Fletcher’s on his way and I don't think he knows where to find the other one your looking for, he sacked them for confronting him" Henry sighed looking up closing his eyes, you shivered waiting for the blow up but it never came he just nodded then picked you up

"Fucking idiot! fine I'll deal with him how long?" he said walking from the kitchen making them follow after him you leaned on his chest.

"Said he'd be twenty minutes or so, he's shitting bricks tried to wiggle out of it but told him we'd hand him over if he didn't that got him complying real quick" Henry nodded

"Go meet him half way I don't trust that little weasel not to make a run for it" you looked over Henry's shoulder as Luke took a left to the main doors.

"Is Fletcher in trouble?" he gave you a look making you shrink

"Don't you worry about him, you just keep your nose clean, you don't need to know now lets go get some books for you to read today" you sighed nodding a little as he continued down the hall.

#henry cavill imagine #henry cavill fic #henry cavill smut #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill #daddy henry cavill #henry cavill is daddy #henry cavill x you #henry cavill x y/n #henry cavill x female reader #dom henry cavill

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violetnotez · 4 years

Text

Is the this the longest fic Ive ever written? Yes. Does it suck? Also yes. Will nobody read it because it makes no sense but Im still going to post because I wasted way too much damn on this thing? TRIPLE YES.

Word count: 10.4k words (she thicc)

Genre: Angst and Fluff, sfw

AU: Fantasy AU!, Hanahaki disease

Prompt: “How could your keep this from?”

Warnings: blood

Summary: You are born into a worls where you must marry your best friend, Prince Shoto, in order to unite your kingdoms in harmony. You are happy to marry your childhood friend and love, until he leaves for a quest unannounced, and you are left questioning if you really want to marry him. Once he returns a few weeks before your planned wedding, you begin to not fall in love with him, but one of his comrades- the barbarian, Bakugo.

*this is for the even for @bnhabookclub! Heres the link to the post if your interested!

Again. welcome to the shitshow that is my blog. read at your own risk cause this gets REAL WIERD REAL QUICK

Petals-all you could see were the petals.

Your mouth and throat felt so dry, your forehead damp with sweat as your back convulsed painfully, raspy coughs wracking out of your chest as you forced the petals out of your body.

They were so pale, like creamy vanilla, a stark contrast from the droplets of your blood splattered on the delicate buds.

You quickly reached for your handkerchief, wiping the residue off your dry mouth in fear of it dribbling on to your white dress-your wedding dress. Your hands were shaking, unable to cry any more tears at your misery-you had come to terms many weeks ago that you were going to reach an unhappy end.

Why did it have to be him?

----------------

You were the princess of your kingdom, destined to marry Prince Shoto of the neighboring kingdom. It was something you two had been accustomed to from birth- in order to connect the two kingdoms and end the quarrels between the two civilizations, you had to marry. It would be a harmonious marriage: Prince Shoto was kind, soft spoken, and a natural born leader. You two had been wonderful friends as siblings, your fathers putting away their troubles in order for you two to get along. They were hoping that by making you friends at a young age, you would learn to grow feelings for each other.

For a time, it worked-you had fallen for Prince Shoto, his soft yet powerful demeanor making you blush each time you remembered him, your young hands writing your name with his last in your journal like a prayer. At 13 you already began to count down the days until you would turn 18, because on that day, you were set to marry your predestined lover- Shoto Todoroki.

For years you had felt so lucky you were blessed with such a sweet boy to be with, being able to live out your lives harmoniously and in peace, something both your parents didn't have the luxury to have. It sometimes left you feeling frustrated- Shoto was truly kind, but very quiet about his thoughts. Your love felt one sided, Shoto seemingly only tolerating you because he had to.

Once he got older, he became more distant towards you, clearly wishing to rebel against his father’s wishes by being distant towards you. It hurt you immensely to see your best friend and crush plainly reject you, but you still held on to the hope that you two could be happy with each other. Yet all that changed when the Prince had left for a quest.

He had been gone for what seemed like an eternity and for a time, you were extremely worried. You could barely focus on your studies, only imagining your poor friend somewhere cold, hungry, and alone. You knew he would be fine, he was a resilient fighter, but yet you couldn't help but allow the worrisome thoughts to collect in your brain. After news that the Prince was in a neighboring kingdom, safely traveling with a young boy, a witch, and a warrior, you felt at ease- with all those comrades, he was sure to be safe. You finally breathed a sigh of relief, able to calm your anxieties after a long time of being unable to.

Information continued to trickle in, sometimes good and sometimes bad, but it always stated that the Prince was spotted safe and sound. You took solace in that information, and for awhile, you began to worry less and less about Shoto, until he was barely a memory.

During that time, you had begun to take on the habit of reading. Before it was a task you simply did when forced or extremely bored, only reading books and stories from your own kingdom.

With so much extra time on your hands waiting upon the Prince to return, you began to learn of other stories, ones that were trully a delight to you: stories of nomads who traveled the country and did rituals to bring them fortunes, women who sold potions by gathering mystical ingredients from the woods, people choosing their own destines and their own paths. It intrigued you- from birth you had one mission for your life: to unite your kingdoms. Once you married Prince Shoto, your destiny would be complete: and then what would you do? You had no other purpose, except being a symbol of that peace for the rest of your life, sitting pretty on a throne until your last breath.

It began to eat at your insides, gnaw at your conscience that you were merely a pawn in your father’s legacy. You could now fully understand why Shoto had been so defiant: he had realized the truth of his life as well.

Slowly, you began to learn to dread instead of anticipate your wedding day. With the Prince being gone, it was sending quite a ruckus in your home, your father more annoyed with each passing day that the Prince had not come back. You, on the other hand, rejoiced. The kings had both agreed at your times of birth that if anything happened to either child before your 18th birthday, the agreement would be cancelled and the marriage no more. They would rely on their children to fix their broken ties.

You had just turned 17, the mental clock beginning to tick in you and your father’s minds, as the Prince still wasn't back form his quest. Just a few more months, and you would both have your wishes: Shoto seemed to have no interest in marrying you, and why should you even for that matter? You two truly didnt love each other- your friendship was a hoax your fathers had created in order to save their own legacies. Your love for each other was man-made and a lie. Just a few more months, and you'd be free of this terrible fate.

------------

The day you turned 17 and a half, you were busying yourself on your plush pink bed, reading another novel about free spirited women in a far off land.

“Princess y/n,” your hand maiden opened the door quietly, afraid of disturbing you, “the King would like to speak with you.”

You gave your shy handmaiden a small smile, delicately marking the spot in your book as your feet landed on the cold floor.

“Thank you,” you replied, “Ill be there shortly.”

You entered your father’s study, his feet stomping the room heavily as he paced in deep thought.

The room was grand, a golden chair sitting in front of an old ebony desk, the room surrounded by maps, battle plans, and bookcases full of legends of stories written long before your time. Light flitted through long windows against the wall, looking out to the rural countryside and a matching red carpet run the lengths of the stone floors.

Your entrance seemed to have disturbed your Father’s train of thought, his head instantly looking to see who had interrupted him. Once he saw it was you, he sighed, greeting you with a tight smile.

“You wished to see me Father?’ you asked politely, your fingers tugging nervously at the sleeves of your dress. Your father never called upon you unless it was extremely important- had you done something wrong? You wracked your mind for any actions that would had been unwise for your father to find out, but to your surprise, you couldnt think of a single thing you had done.

“Yes, yes,” your father said hastily, waving his hands toward a small wooden chair at the foot of his desk, “please-sit. We have much to discuss.”

You sat on the hard chair, a chill traveling your back as you watched your father sit in his plush throne, his face clearly tired.

“As we all know, Prince Shoto has been on a quite a long quest for some time,” your father began, his voice deep with annoyance, “and has not come back. And with your 18th birthday fast approaching, and it worries me that the boy wont be back in time for your marriage. I have talked to King Todoroki about my worries, who also had the same fear, and he promised to bring the boy back and end his little shenanigan. But Shoto refuses to leave until his quest is complete.”

Your father took in a deep breath through his nose, his face a mix of anger and agitation.

Your heart beat excitedly- the prince wasnt coming back? The news bounced happily inside you, giving you some hope that you needed- that must have been why he had gone on that quest in the first place! Even though you were excited, you felt a tightness in your chest- you were childhood firend after all. He really didnt like you that much that he felt he had to run away?

“Oh dont look so solemn daughter,” your father comforted, his voice soft with sympathy,” Shotos father allowed the boy to finish his quest in 5 months’ time, and he is forced to return to his kingdom. In the meantime, we can not forget the whole reason for your marriage like young Todoroki has- you must connect the kingdoms in order to bring harmony.``

“Which is why,” your father added, “we must begin to plan the wedding.”

Your head shot up, the feeling of shock flooding your body. It was still going to happen? Your body began to feel heavy, your father's words fuzzy against your ear- you didn't want this, any of this. You felt trapped like a songbird in a cage, unable to scream out what you desperately wanted to say: if he didnt love you, you didnt want any part of this.

Your father seemed to not notice the look of terror on your face, continuing to inform you of his plan. “We already have sent out invitation to relatives and noblemen in other countries, as well as begin to plan out the festivities. It will be a 3 day event, full of food and parties and, of course, the celebration of our kingdoms coming together. The closer to the date, we will begin to need you for fittings of your dresses as well as rehearse your wedding vows and such. I promise I will make this as wonderful as I can, for you are my only daughter.”

The king smiled at you, wrapping your stiff body into a hug. You could barely feel his embrace- the world was numb to your screaming mind. You wished upon everything in you to end this, to make this all go away, but you knew you couldn't- you would be forced to do this whether you wanted to or not.

You simply nodded your head to your father’s parting words, and then ran to your quarters, shutting the door and ceremoniously throwing yourself on your bed in defeat.

--------------

For days you felt numb and broken, all fight leaving your body. You watched as all your handmaidens and servants ran like chickens around the castle, preparing for the enormous festivities coming in close time. You were a good and proper princes, silently placid and allowing everything around you to happen.

Flower arrangements, samples of sweets, and fabrics for your dresses all came to you, and you agreed to all of them or just randomly choose. You could care less for your “special day”- the only thing you could truly hope for was prince Shoto ignoring his father’s wishes and not coming back.

That, of course, was a wishful fantasy. You were having a blissful dream when your hand maiden barged into your room, clearly too excited to be considerate of your sleeping state.

“Miss y/n! Miss y/n! Oh please wake up! There is most wonderful news!” she cried excitedly, gently pulling the covers off your body, “You must get ready at once!”

“Prince Shoto- he is back from his quest!”

---------

The whole of the kingdom rejoiced at the news, since he had arrived a month before the wedding. He was here, ready to marry and unite the kingdom. That was all that truly mattered.

Your handmaiden dressed you in your most elegant gown, the icy aqua color bringing out the rosiness of your cheeks, as she placed pearly ornaments in your hair. You felt like you were being presented as a gift to the Prince, a reminder of what he was destined to do. You sighed, dreading having to reunite with your once friend and secret love.

Shoto was standing in the ballroom of your castle, very accustomed to it since you both played here occasionally as children. He was used to the golden floors and the crystal chandeliers the sizes of boulders, all hung gracefully in a row on the ebony ceiling. Him and his company were standing shoulder to shoulder, facing the polished staircase cascading towards them.

He looked at his new found friend’s faces, their expressions clearly in shock. Izuku, his face ruddy with dirt and his cheeks aflame from nervousness as he twisted his shirt between his fingers (a nervous tick Shoto had noticed). Uraraka gawked at the room around her in awe, her wide eyes drinking up the scene in front of her. Bakugo was least impressed, his arms crossed in front of his exposed chest and his eyes formed in judgmental slits.

Shoto had told the others before why he had to go back, but only after the quest was over- he wanted to help his new found friends, and after promising to help them in their battle, he would have felt extremely guilty leaving them behind.

Their reactions were mixed when he revealed he had a marriage in a few weeks time- Izuku was clearly shocked yet in awe hed be marrying a princess, while Uraraka seemed to find the situation romantic. Bakugo simply laughed, mocking him from being such a “sissy” for actually getting married in the first place.

Shoto was feeling conflicted inside at the moment- it had been so long since he had last seen you, and when he had, he was less than kind to you. He was quiet, distant, and quite petty about the whole situation of your marriage. You had turned barely 17 when he left, his young body desperate for some adventure and resilient to his father’s wishes. He merely saw you as a nuisance, someone in the way of his freedom. He knew it was unkind and unjustified, you didn't know what was going on inside him, but he was angry nevertheless and desperate to leave. So when he was approached by young boy in need of a friend for his quest, it was hard to resist the offer.

But as nights when on and he had time to be alone with his thoughts, his mind always seemed to travel to you. The way you giggled, your laughs sounding like chimes in the wind, or how your smile always seemed to make his skin tingle with warmth.

You were always a strange girl, but always in the best way, daring Shoto to races even thought your father said it was “unlike a princess to do so” or trying to braid Shoto’s mix-matched hair.

He would never forget the day he had allowed you to do so, your nimble fingers soft against his skin and making him burn up from nervousness. Your touch was so calming and soothing, your small compliments and soft voice sending his soul soaring with pleasure. It was then he realized he had loved you for you, not because he was forced to.

Shoto felt guilty for forgetting those cherished memories in his fits of anger, but he had agreed to help Izuku and he vowed to not give up on that promimse. Months went on, and Shoto couldnt tell how much time had passed: he only hoped you were doing okay without him.

It wasnt until his father had came to collect him that he realized how short he was on time. He had still stuck by his friends, yet the constant reminders of your wedding was in the air, haunting him. They would travel through kingdoms, the whispers of this event following him as the townspeople began to talk. It was a wonder his friends never caught on except him, only to find out weeks before your wedding.

Now Shoto was standing in the ballroom, feeling quite nervous- he hadnt seen you in so long….would you look any different? He was certain your beauty had grown by then, the thought of you looking older and more womanly bringing a blush to his cheeks. How would you see him? He had become quite a different person on his quest, his body becoming more hardened from battles with bandits and the harsh life of travelling. Would you feel the same for him still? Were you just as excited as you were so many years ago to finally be together?

Shoto heard the clicks of shoes on the wooden floor, a man with the straightest back he had ever seen standing proudly at the steps of the stairs.The man took a deep breath, his voice traveling through the room as he announced your arrival to the group of travelers.

Yet Shoto didnt hear a single word he said- he was enraptured by your beauty. You had seemed to turn into a fine young woman since he had last seen you, your curves accentuated by the tightness of your gown, the blue complimenting you perfectly. Your hair flowed in soft ringlets on your back, the pearls in your hair like stars. You were an angel blessed to this planet- an angel he was destined to marry.

The only thing that was worrying him was your expression- he had expected you to seem so much more lively, welcoming the bright smile you would always give him when you saw him. But now, your face was gone of any warmth, looking almost numb to the situation as you looked down at the group.

You traveled down the stairs, hating the way your name sounded in the announcer's voice. This was all so cliche- the Prince comes from a quest, and there is the Princess, simply a prize for his hardwork. A trophy of sorts for doing a good deed. Why did it have to be this why? Why couldnt you feel anything? The world had felt so cold for so long, feeling trapped due to the lack of control you had. Everything had seemed to loose its splendor and color, your vision for weeks turning gray in sadness-

Until you saw him.

The ash blonde boy, his hair unruly and his eyes a bright red like blood. He was clad in strange clothes, like a barbarian, his chest completely open and showcasing his taut muscles. You were intrigued by him- you had only seen likes of him in books and stories you read. He was so different, so menacing, and you wanted to know more. He was the only thing you could focus on, not taking any time to look at the others in the group, including Shoto.

Shoto was the first to reach you, unafraid to approach you like the rest of the group as you reached the bottom of the steps.

“Y/n-” he said, his voice deep and airy, “you look-wonderful.”

You gave him a small smile, but it made his heart sink- you didnt look happy at all. It seemed forced, far from the bright grins you used to send his way all the time.

“As do you, Shoto. You look quite different from when we last saw each other.”

You quickly turned your attention away from him, focusing on his new comrades instead.

“I assume these are the young heroes that accompanied you on your journey?”

“Y-yes!” the young boy with the unruly green hair stuttered, nervously bowing his head. He was quite adorable in a way, his small stature and freckles dusted on his cheeks giving him a child-like quality (even though he was most likely your age). “My name is Izuku Midoriya!”

You gave a reassuring smile to the young boy, trying to make him feel comfortable.

“It is wonderful to meet you Izuku.”

You began to walk towards the girl know, her pointy yet colorful hat signaling that she was a light witch, a sorceress who used your powers for good.

The girl shimmied in her dusty boots, clearly as nervous as the boy. She lifted the corners of her cloth dress, bowing slightly.

“My name is Ochaco Uraraka, your highness,” she smiled sweetly, her cheeks dusted in a pinky glow.

“Ochaco…” you mused over the name, its sound foregin yet light on your tongue, “you are a light witch, I assume?”

“Yes, yes I am!” the girl practically squealed, relief seemingly flooding her face. ‘How did you know?”

You giggled a her amazement at you, completely unaware apparently that she had the most witch-like outfit you had ever seen.

“A lucky guess,” you shrugged your shoulders playfully as you began to walk again, your heart beginning to race as you edged toward the barbarian.

You stopped in front of the man, his stature a head taller than yours. You eyes looked slightly up at him, your cheeks reddening- he was much more handsome up close, his rugged features making you feel breathless. He un-apologetically judged you with his vermilion eyes, looking you up and down with scorn.

Why did you find that so attractive?

“And you are-”

“My name is Bakugo.” he instantly interrupted you, his voice deep and velevty like syrup, “thats all you need to know.”

“Bakugo?” Your brain searched for any name similar to that, but found none- this boy was definitely a foreigner, most likely from far off lands you could only dream of. You had no idea why he followed Shoto back to the kingdom, but you were happy he did- he was definitely a sight for sore eyes.

“A warrior, I assume by your garments,” you nodded, your eyes trailing to his torso “and by the looks of your scars, an experienced one.”

He scoffed at your observations, his eyes rolling in his sockets.

“For a princess, your eyes wander a damn lot. But yeah- Im hella of a good warrior. Best in the kingdoms.”

You cocked an eyebrow at his language, your cheeks red by his comment. He was so unapologetic and rude, yet- it was intoxicating to you.

“I’m glad to here that.”

Shoto was eyeing you sadly the whole time- what was so different between you two? Why did you seem so welcoming to the others but so distant to him? His face began to turn red with fury as he watched you interact with Bakugo, the way Bakugo insulted you so plainly and cockily making him want to yell. He watched as your face had light up for just a moment when you spoke with him, something Shoto didn't get the luxury to experience.

He also noticed what Bakugo had vocalized- you eyes did wander when you looked at him. Shoto at first tried to rationalize that you were simply being curious, since Bakugo was definitely a strange sight for you, but the way your cheeks blushed and you smiled so warmly at him made him think otherwise.

What did you see in that barbarian that you didnt with Shoto?

You looked again at the odd group, taking a deep breath through your lungs.

“I want to congratulate you all for your successful quest,” you began, the lines slightly rehearsed, “and as thanks from my father for bringing back Prince Shoto, he would like to welcome you all for dinner tonight. We would love to hear all about your journey then,” you then snuck one last look at Bakugo, his eyes boaring into yours. It was making you feel a warmth inside that you had thought long ceased.

You instantly looked down at your hands, your cheeks feeling hot. You knew this was wrong- you shouldn't feel smitten for any other boy, especially this warrior, yet you couldnt help it- you were entranced by his resilience and the freedom he had, something you could only dream of.

“If youll excuse me, I have - things to attend to. It was a pleasure to see you all” you gave the group a tight smile, turning your back quickly from the group to follow your handmaiden back to your quarters.

Shoto watched you until you were gone, his heart beating painfully. He wished he could run up to you, grab you by your wrist and ask you what was the matter. It was still him, your friend for all those years, and you were still you, his love and his best friend. Were you beginning to forget, like he did? He felt his stomach drop painfully at the idea- he would ask you, tonight. He would figure out what had happened between you two, and fix it.

--------------

You were now at dinner, sitting stiffly as you moved your food around your plate, your tight corset making you feel un-hungry. All night you had been detached and quiet, feeling almost sick by your surroundings. Your father was overly outgoing to the guest,giving you side-eyed glances and trying to enter you in the conversation. You would simply smile and nod, occasionally throwing in a comment before returning to squishing your food between your utensils.

The only time you ever seemed interested was when Bakugo would speak. His comments were all snarky and rude, completely self centered about how strong or intelligent he was.

He was constantly proving his worth throughout the dinner, taking over the story of their journey when he saw fit, making sure everyone knew he was the most capable one of the group. It was obscene, his remarks, his language, even his personality, but- you were intrigued by it. The only person he had to listen to was himself. It was so intoxicating to watch him talk, to hear what other remarks would leave his mouth. Whenever he spoke, you stood up a little straighter, taking time to take in any information he gave about himself and immortalize it into your brain.

Shoto had felt awkward the whole meal, not knowing how to gauge your emotions. You seemed so distant, as if a stranger was sitting next to him. He wished he could enter your mind, detangle all the emotions and thoughts that were keeping you from being yourself around him. There was no laughter, no genuine smiles, no happiness came from you. This bothered him- you were usually so cheerful. His nervousness was eating the inside of his stomach, as his mind still couldn't figure out how to approach you after dinner.

“-and the wedding will be a three day celebration, full of festivities,” your father continued boisterously, his voice booming embarrassingly around the room, “Shoto and y/n will be the main attention, of course, over 200 noblemen will see them share vows-”

The sound of your chair pushing away echoed throughout the dining hall, making the whole group look to you. You cleared your throat delicately, a hand resting on your chest.

“Excuse me for my rudeness, but Im feeling- unwell,” you sighed a quick smile.

“Are you alright, do I need to-” the king asked, his eyes full of concern as you shook of his worries.

“Oh no, Im completely fine- just a headache,” you gave a pained smile, “I hope you all enjoy the rest of the meal.”

Shoto watched you walk away, desperate to make sure he knew which way you went in this large castle. He instantly pushed away from the table as well, rising quietly.

“I- uh-am full, thank you for the meal,” he bowed to the King slightly, placing his napkin on his plate as he rushed out, confusing the group that was left.

Izuku and Ochaco looked at each other, their cheeks red with embarrassment and shock as they looked at Bakugo, who was clearly not bothered by the disturbance. Ochaco then looked at the king, who was clearly confused by the whole ordeal, as an awkward air lay heavy on the table.

Ochaco hastily took a large bite from her plate, filling her mouth with food- “MMMMMM!” she exaggerated, trying to start up conversation again, “I LOVE the ham!”

------------

Shoto ran around the castle, looking through every corridor and door, searching for you.His head was racing, trying to organize his thoughts in his minds. He needed to figure out how to speak to you- should he act normal, like nothing was wrong? Should he be formal and see how that went? Angry? Upset? He didnt know how to approach you, but he knew he had to do it.

He finally saw your gown turn an empty hallway, his feet picking up pace. He quickly was able to catch up once he could pin point your location, his hand wrapping around your wrist in order to stop you.

You felt slender,cool fingers wrap around your skin, making your body run cold. You instantly jumped by the sudden touch, all breath leaving your body as you turned around quickly.

Your wide eyes met the mix matched orbs of Shoto, a small pang of annoyance filling your body from getting so scared.

“Shoto,” you replied breathlessly, slightly happy though it was only him and not somebody else that had grabbed you.

“I-uh-y/n,” he replied back, his mind going blank.

He let go of your wrists, his hands resting at the side of his body. “I-Im sorry to scare you like that,” he apologized, “I just- wanted to speak to you. If you’ll let me.”

You looked at the boy, his eyes now averting yours, probably from nerves. You decided to listen, turning your body to him.

“Apology accepted,” you said plainly, “What did you want to speak about?”

Shoto drew a blank- what did he want to talk about? He loved hearing your voice, finally only reserved for him, but yet you seemed preoccupied. Distant. Like you were on another world and not truly there with him.

He stared at you lightly, looking extremely conflicted. “I-I wanted to talk to you about what happened while I was gone.”

“You explained quite plainly what happened on your journey,” you replied, clearly not in the mood to talk, “I applaud you for your bravery, it must have been quite a difficult journey-” you gave him a small bow, your eyes gone of any warmth. “I really must go to bed, Im sorry, but i do feel-”

You began to walk away again, Shoto desperate to keep you near him. He walked in font you, blocking your path.

“You didnt here me correctly-” he changed his wording this time, trying to be as specific as possible. “I want to know what happened to you while I was gone.”

You eyebrows turned down in confusion. “What are you trying to say Shoto?”

He swallowed, trying to clear his dry throat as he licked his lips, conflicted.

“You seem-different.”

“Its been a year and a half since I last saw you, Shoto,” you reasoned, “of course Ill be different.”

“Yes, but-” he paused, “youre too different. Youre not the same y/n I knew.”

“Why? Because Im not following you around like a love sick puppy?” Annoyance began to bubble inside, feeling attacked by Shoto’s words. “Because I finally got over the fact you didnt love me ? You dont have to pretend Shoto, I know full well you only see me as a nuisance.”

Shock flooded Shoto’s system as your icy words pierced his skin. What happened to you? Yes, he was rude to you before he left, but he didnt feel like that anymore. That was a simple phase, were you going to define him by that?

“I dont see you as a nuisance, y/n.”

“Really?” you scoffed at his words. “then tell me why your father had to go out to find you twice before you finally decided to come back?”

“I made a promise to my friends. I had to finish my quest before-”

“You had a promise to me, Shoto!” you yelled exasperatedly, your heart bursting with hurt. “To your family! To my family! Our people! What was so much more important than that?”

“I was so worried about you Shoto, terrified for you. Those first few months I couldnt think of anything but you.” You were beginning to reveal a lot, too much, but the emotions, the hurt, the anger, was flooding out of you like a broken dam and you couldn't stop it.

“But then I realized that you didnt care for me. You thought I didn't notice how you gave me the cold shoulder those last few months? How you ignored me, only gave me quick answers, acted as if I was just a pest following you around? I remembered all of it, and then I realized- you left because of me.”

“You left because of me, didn't you, Shoto?” your voice was harsh and crude like metal, stabbing into Shoto’s conscience.

He stayed silent- how could he say anything back? Your words were making him feel small and foolish- he should have known that you would have noticed his change in demeanor, just as he noticed yours.

You smiled painfully at his silence, feeling a fresh cut of pain slash inside you. “I knew it.”

“Y/n, I-” There was so much he wanted to say, things he wanted to take back. He didnt want this meeting to go like this- with you even more distant to him. Out of all the possible outcomes, this had to be the worst one.

“Dont even try to backtrack Shoto, I know the truth now,you just confirmed it.”

He knew he was less than kind to you before he left, but know it wasnt like that anymore. Why were you so angry?

“Fine-yes-I left, and it wasnt right,” he admitted, his voice deep, “but Im back. Why are you putting my old self against me now?”

“Because I couldn't for the year and half you were gone! I-I loved you Shoto, and you-”

“You dont love me anymore?” Shoto looked down at you sadly, his eyes full of sorrow. It felt like his heart was breaking in two, the way those words spilled out your mouth so easily making it sting even more.

You swallowed, filling a pit grow in your chest. Everything felt so cold, so empty. This was your best friend- why couldn't you just be nice to him? You thought you had gotten over all this.

“You dont love me-so why should I love you?” your voice was barely a whisper, cold and empty in the frigid hallway.

Shoto stared down at you, his voice caught in his throat. Did you really believe that? That he didnt love you?You had been friends since children- you really thought all those times, all those days you played together, were all fake? Who even were you?

“I just want you to know,” you spoke, your voice monotone and icy,” Im not doing this for my father, or your father, or even you. Im doing this for my people and thats it.”

“It” meaning the wedding.

Tears began to prickle your lashline, confusion flooding your numb body as you began to walk away from Shoto-

you hadnt cried in what seemed like forever.

Why were you now?

“Y/n, please, can we just talk-” he tried to reason, harsh with desperation.

“No.” your voice was plain in its tone that you were done with the conversation.

“Im just curious Shoto- why did you come back? Because if I had the luxury to have all that freedom, to be free for once- I wouldnt.”

Shoto’s heart felt broken as he watched you walk away, your dress ruffling as you continued on your path. He felt defeated, confused, even angry- what had happened to you since he had been gone? Did you really hate him that much? What did you mean you had no freedom? More questions flooded his mind than what were answered, but he now knew one thing- you didnt want anything to do with him.

As Shoto’s was returning to his corrdiors sadly, you were lost in thought, just feeling- empty. You didnt feel sad, or angry, or even spitefu anymorel. Just- numb to the world. You could walk for miles and miles it seemed and you wouldnt feel a thing.

Why was that? Why were so mean to your long lost firend? You should be hugging him from happiness and relief-not meeting him with coldness and hate.

As you were lost in thought, you didn't even notice yourself running into a person. Your hand instantly reached out, meeting soft yet rough skin. You looked up in confusion ,and your breath hitch- it was the barbairan, his vermilion eyes like rubies as he stared down at you in scorn.

“Oi, watch were your going you damn princess,” he scolded,pushing you off him gently. You stumbled slightly, trying to get your footing right- you had run in to him, you had even touched him. If you were feeling alright, and if the circumstances were different, you could practically squeal. “Youre gonna hurt someone.”

“Did I hurt you?”

He scoffed at your comment. “Like you could ever hurt me,” his voice was deep and velvety, his comment sending shocwaves into your system. The reply was prideful, yet it could have been- sweet. Kind, in a way in a different light- maybe he meant it like that?

“How do you know that?” you blurted out, a small smirk crawling across your lips.

You just wanted him to talk more, to hear that velvety voice directed towards you- but you were close to flirting with him. What were you doing? What was going on with you?

One second you were chewing out your life time friend weeks before your wedding, and now you were being smitten with a random man you didn't even know.

He chuckled slightly, his canines glinting. “Your a fucking handful, arentcha?”

He eyed your wobbling feet, as you still were finding your footing slightly.

“You clearly cant walk right-you feeling fine, because Im not gonna be the one who carries you-”

“No, no , Im fine.” you reassured, your cheeks rosy. ‘Thank you for catching me.”

“Youre the one who ran into me.”

“You could have just pushed me off though, you seem like the type to do that,” you gave him a cheeky grin, it disappearing when you heard a slight growl come form him.

“The hell you mean princess?” he was trying to be menacing, but you could tell there was something behind it- he was curious. You loved how he called you “princess”, making it sound like a pet name than a title.

“Your a lone wolf, are you not? You are strong, independent, free-” you began to list off, your eyes focusing on his, “you follow your own code and beliefs”

“Damn right I do,” he agreed, your heart soaring that he looked so proud of you for describing him so perfectly. “-which is why Im confused as hell that half-and-half prince is allowing himself to get married.”

Ouch.

The small amount of hope that Bakugo seemed to like you had quickly got destroyed, feeling hurt flood your body. You quickly tried to shake it off, so Bakugo couldn't see it on your face.

“What he even want to talk to you about anyway?” The boy shifted in his stance, his muscles moving with his movements.

You gulped, guilt filling your body- Shoto, the one who had just fought with. You couldnt tell this boy what had happened- that was private, and really, it was embarrassing.

“Just-uh-about-” you stammered, your cheeks red as you searched for a lie.

“Ugh, let me guess, you two were trading spit werent you?” he interrupted in disgust, taking your red cheeks as a sign you two were doing something unholy in the hallway.

You swallowed, licking your lips as you gave him a tight lipped smile. You were just going to follow along with Bakugo’s line of reasoning- you didnt have any other better ideas.

“Y-yep, just- please dont tell anyone?”

He gave a bitter laugh, his voice booming against your ears. “You guys cant get dirty? I guess that makes sense, since you all our royalty, cant be having any scandals-”

“Do you promise?” you rushed him, now feeling uncomfortable- if anybody heard you and Shoto were kissing in the hallway, and you two were really arguing-

“Yeah, dont worry princess, youre secrets safe with me.”

You sighed a breath of relief, feeling your heart jump at the smirk the boy sent your way.

“Thank you- I- uh- best be going now,” you stammered, rushing past the warrior, “have a nice night Bakugo.”

You rushed to your room, your heart feeling on fire. Your hands were shaking, your mid racing- all you could think about was that boy. Your world had seemed so dark, until he showed up. His rude responses, his chaotic personality, his snarkiness, that overly prideful speech, his freedom- it was so intoxicating to you. You felt your heart pumping against your chest- you hadn't felt this alive in so long.

You suddenly felt very sick, your head feeling drowsy- maybe you were actually catching something, and thats why you were acting so strange? You were gasping for breath it seemed, your corset making it hard to breath. I felt like something was tightening around your chest, small prods poking into you from the inside- it was a strange sensation, one you did not welcome in the slightest. You stumbled to your bed, holding on to the post as your lungs felt tight with no air, liking something was blocking your passageway. Coughs began to erupt out of you, wracking your body until you finally felt you could breathe. You sucked in a deep breath, welcoming the sweet night air, your chest still feeling tight. You looked down at the ground, trying to slow your stammering heart, until your eyes feel upon something new- a single white petal, resting softly on the ground.

------------

After that night, You became obsessed with this boy, learning bits and pieces from him though conversation you had overheard from Shoto’s friends and workers inside the castle. You learned he was from an extremely far off land, past even the Mountains, which surprised you. He lived alone, and apparently had a dragon as well. He had gotten in many fights due to his overly prideful personality, which was why he had so many scars decorating his taut body. Your handmaidens seemed to look at him with annoyance, saying he refused to wear anything “civilized” and would plainly cuss them out if they even set foot in his room to clean.

You knew he had a softer side though- he had kept your “secret” safe, right? You heard nothing around the castle about any make-out session or argument between you and Shoto. That little act made you feel special in someway- maybe he had a soft side for you?

Whenever you would feel yourself getting sucked into the sadness of planning your wedding, you’d think of fantasies with that barbarian boy. Him taking you in the middle of night, taking you far away from this place. His hands placed around your waist, that snarky smile looking down at you again.

Seeing him walk around the castle grew a desperation and love in your body, watching his handsome face stare around the rooms, his voice loud and prideful- you wished he could look your way, acknowledge you again. His vermillion eyes sent fire into your soul whenever you closed his eyes, his face being a beacon of warmth in your life.

Yet that beacon of life was killing you from the inside- every day and every night you fantasized about Bakugo, the sickness taking over you grew worse and worse. The closer you got to your wedding day, the worse it felt, the vines inside you prickling at your soft organs. They were growing, you felt it, as you coughed up more and more petals.

For a few days you had no idea what was going on, fear striking you as you wondered if you should ask to see a doctor. But you decided to do your own research, scourging through books until you found your sickness: Hanahaki. The the mythical disease for unrequited love. It was quite rare, but it came to the most lonely, delusional, and desperate of lovers.

It made sense, really- it all started when you talked to Bakugo, after falling in his arms. It hurt he didnt love you back- but why should he? One run-in shouldn't make people fall in love with each other, but somehow it made you. You welcomed the pain alittle, as it was a reminder you still had some feeling other than emptiness inside you. It also terrfiied you- you were supposed to be in love with Shoto, not some barbarian from a far off land you barely spoke to.

How had this happened, how could you let this happen?

Even if you did tell others you had Hanahaki, they would point the finger at Shoto, calling him cold and callous for not loving you. You were the one who was the cold one, pushing your old friend away. Even if you felt some residue of anger for him, you wouldn't put him through that- he didn't deserve it. You let this disease do its course- if it went away youd be freed, knowing that Bakugo loved you back, and if not- well, you’d figure that out when you got there.

You had barely talked to Shoto or even noticed him since that night, not realizing the amount of worry he felt towards you. Everyday that went by he noticed how sick you looked, your skin paling and you eyes losing any life. Every cough you tried to hold back he noticed and it rang in his ear like a terrible siren- there was something wrong with you.It ate at his insides, his fear of you pushing him away again making him scared to ask what was wrong.

------------

It was now the night before you wedding and you were feeling less than hopeful. You were supposed to be lively and happy, as your father had thrown a party to celebrate the events of the next day, yet you had no energy left in you to dance or socialize. You stayed in a dark corner, trying your best to blend in and not be noticed.

The coughs were not leaving, and it felt like your chest was being constricted until you could barely breathe. The annoying tickle of a cough was constantly at the back of your throat, as you tried to keep the petals at bay. You were miserable.

“Princess, are you doing alright, you seem a little- pale? Do you need some water, or maybe fresh air,” the young witch Ochaco approached you, her rosy cheeks and bright eyes looking at you.

“Hello, Ochaco,” you greeted, your smile strained, “you know-fresh air would be nice.”

The sweet girl smiled at you, gingerly taking you by the crook of your elbow and out of the ballroom. The fresh air was rather nice, soothing your hurting brain and your sore lungs. You two walked in silence for a while, enjoying each other’s company. Your mind was shifting around, thinking about Shoto and what would happen tomorrow. It hurt too much, though- you still were both not at speaking terms, and now you had to be promised to each other for eternity. The thought made your throat itch even more, and instead, you switched to own of your many fantasies of Bakugo that brought you some comfort.

“So, how are you feeling? Nervous, excited, scared?” Ochaco asked gingerly

“About what?” you asked, looking at her with curiosity

“Uh,um-your wedding,” she giggled nervously, her cheeks growing red again.

Oh-you cursed yourself for getting to invested in your fantasy, feeling embarrassed for thinking of Bakugo and not about Shoto.

You really didnt know how to answer her question-You felt yourself dreading it-how could you tell her that? But you didnt want to lie to her- lying to her would be practically evil, like giving a child a promise and not fulfilling it.

“Its expected of me to marry him,” you reasoned out carefully, “Ive been thinking of this day since I was a child.”

She gaped out you in awe. “Really?That early? In your kingdoms is it a tradition to marry from each other’s kingdoms?”

You gave her a wihsful smile. “Actually- no, it isnt. We’re the first ones.”

Her brown bob fluttered against her cheeks, her eyes staring up at you in confusion.

“I-if you dont mind me asking,” she asked nervously, “why is that?”

You sighed, giving her a small smile.

“Its kind of a long story….”

------------

“Long ago our two kingdoms began to quarrel against one another. But that happened years back- we still continued to fight against each other, and quite frankly, we forgot about why. We just knew we hated each other and wanted to see the other fail. My father had always said to me that my mother wished for her children to be born in a peaceful kingdom, yet my father’s pride prevented that from coming true for her.

“Until the day I was born- my mother, sadly, died while giving birth to me. My father now had no queen, and really, no future ruler, since I am a girl and only men can become ruler in my kingdom. In his grief, he began to feel sympathetic, I suppose- he knew King Todoroki had a young boy who was barely turning 4, and my father got an idea. He travelled to his kingdom, and somehow was able to talk King Todoroki into an agreement.”

“In order to end the suffering of our two kingdoms, Shoto and I would marry once I turn 18, in which would bind our kingdoms forever in peace, with Shoto as ruling over both.”

Ochaco breathed out a large sigh, giving you a conflicted expression.

“So-thats why you two are getting married? Its arranged?”

You looked at her in confusion-“Didnt-Shoto tell you that? I thought Bakugo at least knew-”

“Bakugo?” Ochaco blinked a few times, clearly puzzled. “Bakugo just thought it was quite, well, wierd Shoto was getting married- Bakugo is just a lone wolf who cant understand love I guess-”

You strangely felt angry at her words- how could she even say that about him? Yes, he was cold and callous at times, but how could she know he couldn't at least love? You knew he had to at least have some way of having feelings for another person, you had to at least hope for that-

“-it must be why he left last night,”

You stopped in your tracks, feeling a ton of bricks pound into your chest.

“He-he left?

“Um yeah! Something about being ‘bored waiting around for a stupid’- oh my gosh, y/n are you alright!?”

You were coughing up quite alot, your lungs dry and painful as your heart tore in two. He-he left. Without you. Without even a goodbye.

After all that daydreaming, all that hope, that dedication to him, hoping he would notice you- he left. He never loved you, and you knew it- you were just so desperate for someone to take you, to teach you how to be free.

You wanted him to teach you, to see potential in you that you could be just as defiant to the world as him.

Uraraka wrapped her slender arms around your body, patting your back softly to help you rid your body of whatever had attacked you. It was taking everything in you to not let a single petal fall out, the itching in the back your neck unbearable as your heart beat agonizingly against horribly.

You felt a few silky petals slip out of your mouth, soft against your dry tongue. Miraculously, Uraraka didn't suspect a thing- most likely from the darkness she couldn't see the disease overtaking you.

You gulped desperately for air, finally getting a hold on your lungs.

“I-Im fine,” you panted out, raising from the floor on shaky knees. “Thank you”

Urarka gave you a pointed look, clearly not convinced. “Of course, but are you sure? Do you need water, or maybe I should get Shoto-”

“No!” you yelled out, covering your mouth in case of another attack.

You felt a little guilty for yelling at Uraraka so harshly, her wide eyes looking at you in shock-you just couldnt bear seeing Shoto when you were grieving over a lover that was never yours- and apparently dying from it too.

“No, Im fine, really,” you said more calmly, trying to be reassuring, “lets, just- walk back, if thats okay-”

“Yes of course! Ill walk you to your room, just in case you get sick again-”

You two walked in silence again, you mulling over your broken heart as Uraraka watched you in worry. You two passed the ballroom, everyone seemingly enjoying themselves and not noticing you two as you lead the way to your room.

You stepped up to the door, your hand grasping the doorknob until you paused, a question entering your mind. You were still confused why Uraraka said she didnt know your marriage was arranged-you would have expected Shoto to have told his group after saying he was getting married.

Was he embarrassed by it, that he was marrying you?

“You said you were surprised to here our marriage was arranged,” you asked quietly, “Shoto never told you?”

Uraraka shuffled in her pink boots, her shoulder hunched close to her chin.

“He-uh-no,” she breathed out, “he said he made a promise to marry a girl he loved.”

-------------------

Morning.

Daylight.

Wedding.

You should be feeling happy, excited, optmistic-you had been imagining this day since you were a child. But now, all you could feel was a coldness you couldnt seem to shake off- after your talk with Uraraka last night, you felt so confused.

The person you “loved” had never loved you, leaving you sick and hurt.

The person who did love you, you most likely pushed away to the point where they didnt love you anymore.

You couldnt even understand your emotions yourself. All night your sickness wouldnt leave your poor lungs alone, making you cough uncontrollably all night, the petals piling up around you.

You wouldn't allow anyone to see you in the morning, snatching your wedding dress from your hand maidens and putting in yourself. You fixed yourself up, trying to make yourself look as lively as possible, but it seemed impossible- you felt too empty inside to really put your heart into it.

Another round of coughs attacked your chest, a single petal dribbling out of your mouth, along with a speckle of blood. It dripped on the inner folds of your creamy white dress- easily disguisable if you made sure it was covered- yet it made you begin to cry.

What was going on? Why did you have to do this? Why were you still sick?

Your knees hit the cold floor, wave after wave of tears and coughs struck your body in a terrible symphony, the petals piling up on your dress.

You couldnt take it anymore- this sickness was going to have to take you, because you had no energy left to fight it anymore.

You felt a knocking on your door, the sounds harsh against your temple. You sniffled, one last cough feebily spilling out of your bloodied lips.

“Go away-I promise Ill be out soon-” you began sadly, until you heard the door swing open.

You looked up, your face in shock as you did not lock eyes with your handmaiden, but with Shoto’s.

He looked around the floor, noticing the bloody petals, his face completely torn-he knew what was going on.

Shoto stared down at you, his eyes boaring into yours-he knew something was wrong with you. He had came by your room in hopes of fixing your relationship before speaking your vows, working up the courage until he heard you crying. No matter what was between you two, he wouldnt let you go through pain by yourself.

Now he watching you cough up your life, those sickly petals flowing out of you, each one taking a toll on your body.

He gasped out your name, the words like honey as he sat next to you on the floor. You looked so beautiful in that white gown, like an angel from heaven.

But the paleness of your skin, the bags like bruises under your eyes, the blood on your lips- it all reminded him that you were human, and you were hurting inside. He reached for your hand, his fingers grazing your skin-so cold- but you pulled it away quickly.

“Please, dont Shoto-” you whispered hoarsely, “Im-”

Another wave of coughs wracked at your chest, this time the rasps painful against your chest as the vines squeezed.

Shoto didnt know what to do- how could he help you? There wasn't anything he could do to help, except watch his best friend and love slowly cough her life away. A few petals cascaded out of your mouth, adding to the piles as you heaved air back into your lungs, your knuckles white.

“How, how could you keep this from me?” he asked sadly, ignoring your pleas and pulling you into his lap.

You felt how warm he was, and realized- he did love you. He had been there for you as a child, and he was here for you now, comforting you in your worst moment.

Your heart felt like it was exploding as tears cascading down your face, salty and warm against your skin.

“How-how could I Shoto?” I shuldnt have been so mean to you,” you sobbed, “Im so sorry, so sorry, this is all my fault-”

“Please, no, dont be sorry,” he said softly, his arms cradling your body, “we both have our own faults. I shouldnt have left you for so long, and Im sorry for that, I-” he gulped, his heart beating harshly against his chest.

“I-I do love you,y/n, I do.”

You picked up your head, forcing yourself to look at him- he was so handsome, his mix matched eyes softly looking down at you- he was still the little boy you knew from a child, though, always so calm and sweet.

“I know, Shoto, I just, I-” you gulped, fighting to keep the coughs and sobs at bay.

He sighed, feeling his heart sink.

“You loved Bakugo, didnt you? Thats why,” he motioned to the petals, “this is happening to you.”

You gave him a shocked look, your eyes wide and glassy. You forgot how observant Shoto could be- you felt your cheeks grow red, realizing now he must have known by the way you stared so much at Bakugo.

“Was-it that noticebale?”

“Y/n,” he sighed, his chest feeling heavy, “very.”

You giggled at his remark, feeling strange for laughing for once. But Shoto was so abrupt with his words, it always made you laugh at his remarks.

Shoto’s heart soared at your laugh, the sound like chimes against his ears. It died down, the room quickly feeling closed in again.

“I just dont want to do this. I-I want to be friends again. To figure out who were are, without us being forced to be with each other.” you sighed, your heart rattling against your chest. “ I-I want to be with you and marry you- when we decide. Not my father, or your father- I want to be free to choose.”

You turned to Shoto, your hands touching his cheek.

“I-I did love you-and I still do-Im just so confused, and trapped, and-”

“You just want to be your own person,” he finished your sentence, his voice so much stronger than yours.

He looked down at you, his face surprisingly smiling.

“I think I may have arranged that,”

You jumped up, your face in shock. “H-how? Tell me!” you squealed, not unilke a child, your eyes wide with anticipation.

Shoto grinned at your face, loving how excited you could get so quickly.

“Do you remember my oldest brother?” he asked

“Of course I remember Natsuo! He was always so kind to me as a child,” you reminenscenced, “but how is he going to help us?”

“Well, as it turns out, I spoke to our fathers and my older brother,” he said, a small grin on his face, “they agreed that my brother could rule both kingdoms in my place. By himself, and my sister will accompany him if he ever needs help.”

You sucked in a lung full of air, unable to believe what you had just heard-

“So that means-”

“We are free to do what we want now.”

You yelled in happiness, happy tears cascading on your face as you wrapped his body around yours, “thank yous” spilling out of your lips.

Shoto hugged you back, smiling sadly- he had to admit, it was hard negotiating that new deal. After the night, that remark of how you didnt feel “free” stayed in his brain, haunting him until he found a solution. Knowing it would make you happy made it worth it- even if that meant you could leave him now. He loved you, but if that meant you could be happy with or without him, he would be content with the knowledge that you were finally able to be your own person.

“You can now be yourself,” he said sadly, his eyes staring down at the floor, “and even if that means you do not love me, I accept it. You dont have to feel guilty.”

You looked at the poor boy, his eyes shaded as his bi-colored locks cascaded onto his foreheads. You felt a warmth fill your chest, the sensation soothing and calming as the tightness in your lungs dissappeared. The tickling in your throat seemed to wane slightly. Your hand found his as his eyes instantly rose to meet yours.

“I wont feel guilty,” you smiled gently, “I want to be free- with you.”

Taggings: (if you want to be added, just shoot me an ask or a reply on this post and Ill add you on to my future fics!)

@freckledoriya @orokayagi @leeeah-loooser

#bnha #bnha x reader #bnhabookclub #bnha au #bnha fantasy au #todoroki x reader #shouto x reader #todorki x reader #mha todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto #todoroki shoto x reader #shoto x reader #shoto #mha shoto x reader #mha shoto todoroki #bnha prince shoto x reader #prince shoto x reader #prince shoto x you #prince shoto x y/n

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rotten-games · 5 years

Note

Different anon, but if you have the time could you write a happy ending to this question, "Ro's reaction when they found out mc is about to leave to do dangerous and impossible mission, like it has really low precentage of success or even coming out alive.". I love angst but I need that angsty/fluffy/ "I thought you were gone" moment or I'll cry. ಥ_ಥ

This took too long but have it anyway. Some are more fluffy than others.

Ardwen: Ardwenlooks a mess when you awake in Herron’s makeshift infirmary, his platinum hairmatted and bags under his eyes. His clothing is stained with something suspect,his makeup smeared across his face like some kind of dramatic enactment onstage. A part of you suspects he’s simply putting the façade on, just for drama’ssake, but you don’t mention your suspicion.

Because he iscrying.

“You’re back,”Ardwen huffs, wiping desperately at his eyes as if you haven’t already seen thetears. You can’t help but find a smile—yep, definitely an act. Ardwen pouts,worrying his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment before he decides he’drather lose the staring competition than lose you. In that moment, he collapsesinto you chest, pain shooting through your body and causing you to groan,still, he squeezes you tight, unable to let go to even ask if you’re alright.Muffled, you think you hear, “You’re very horrible and I hate you,” But when hepulls away again, he’s crying happy tears.

Arke: Facing Arkeafter you left while he slept is one of the most difficult moments of your life.When you awake in the infirmary, he isn’t there and he doesn’t visit you evenon the day Herron lets you out. You find him in the training arena, beating somesorry sod half to death. Sweat pours down his brow, his shirt thrown off in theheat of his frustrations. Only when he throws his sword down does he acknowledgeyou, a familiar and dark glare directed at you.

“Are you justgoing to stand there or are you coming in here with me?” You shouldn’t, youknow you shouldn’t, but you step into the ring regardless of your still-healingbody. Arke doesn’t hold back as he lunges at you, and your reflexes aren’tquite what you need them to be to respond. You land squarely on your back, Arkelooming over you with a conflicted expression on his face. Eventually, hisshoulders slump and he crumbles to the ground beside you, apparently havingvented out most of his frustrations before you even arrived. “I told you not toleave me behind again,” He murmurs, hands gentle as he helps you back up again.You’re certain you pulled a muscle if the ache is anything to go by, but you trynot to let it show. For now, you won’t let it show.

Bex: Bex all butcrushes you in his embrace when you come to, unable to control himself as hedrags you up and into his arms. Despite the pain, you try your best to returnthe hug, feeling his stubble scratch against your neck. You think he’s tryingto speak, but his words are muffled against your nightshirt and you don’t care enoughabout the actual words to ask him to repeat himself. All you know is he’s here,he’s here and so are you.

Later, once he’srealised he’s hurting you, he apologises despite the sorry’s you need to sayyourself. You simply snicker and punch him weakly on the shoulder, your handsmoothing over a scar across his bicep. “I thought you were dead,” Bex admitsweakly, his fingers twitching as if suppressing the urge to reach over to youonce more. “But then again, I’m not very smart, so maybe you had a plan allalong.” No, you think, you’re the idiot for potentially leaving him behind.

Calyssa: The firstthing Calyssa does when you stumble into the keep is punch you. Her faceremains impassive as she strides up to you, when she stops in her tracks rightin front of you there is a pause and then—the next thing you know you’resprawled on the ground, your jaw throbbing painfully and your mind completelyaddled. You don’t realise how you got here until Cal crouches down to hoist youback to your feet.

“You’re a dick,”She says as she pulls you in for a hug, practically crushing you in her grip.If you had any energy left you might have fought back for her unprovokedattack, but you suppose you can forgive her this once just because of the stuntyou pulled with leaving her behind. After a long moment, she kisses at your temple,muttering, “I missed you,” against your skin.

Druvel: Druveltakes the time to commit your body to memory in the days after your return. Helets you rest, at least until he knows you wont keel over and die, before hetakes you. You don’t think you see to your duties for a week, and by the timeyou emerge from your room you’re sore and stiff from more than just the woundsyou sustained. This, you suppose, you could get used to.

Emil: “You didn’tdie,” Emil’s words are quiet, almost a whisper, as he stares at you, eyes wide indisbelief and shock. His mouth hangs open, all slack like some kind of puppet, andhe doesn’t approach. When you close the distance between the two of you, with alimp in your step and a wince with each motion, you finally start to see thetears in his eyes. He crumbles into your arms, scrambling for some kind of holdon your armour, which is chipped and broken enough to worry you. “I thought youwere dead—I thought you left me. I thought—"

But still you holdhim, and you hold him, for as long as he needs.

Ettia: Ettiafrowns slightly when she sees you, her brows creasing just a little as if in thought.Her lips part, then close, then her expression clears as a smile begins to formon her face. “I always thought you’d be the one to defy Adeliah,” She grins,her head cocking to the side with a slightly mischievous glint in her eye. Herarms open wide and the embrace is quick before she ushers you into theinfirmary. For once, you realise, the stiffness in her shoulders is gone.

Gwyn: His eyestwinkle when he sees you, a smile curling onto his lips as he makes hisapproach without any hesitation. Gwyn finds you, arms reaching out to pull andtug you into his arms. “The Gods must hate you,” He murmurs with a chuckle, “Defyingfate when it was written in your very blood.” You’re not entirely sure what hemeans, but you don’t deem it important enough to ask about. Regardless of hiswords, you can hear the relief in his voice, feel it in the way he holds you tightlyto his chest. That would have to be enough.

Herron: ‘Your alive,’The words don’t quite leave Herron’s mouth before he rushes to your side, hisarms wrapped snugly around you as you collapse against him. You hurt all over,your entire being screaming at you to just succumb right there. But you can’t—youwon’t. Not when you still have someone left to protect. With what energyyou have left, you cling onto Herron, letting him all but drag your weak bodyas he mutters out a spell. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him actually casta spell before—only ever seen him use runes and write up theories. A part ofyou wondered if he even had a magical bone in his body and—you’re getting offtopic.

Maybe that’s thething about dying. It lets you think and think and think because you can do nothingelse as your body shuts down on you, as your eyesight begins to fade and theheat at your core cools until it feels icy and numb. Somewhere in the distance,you hear him murmur your name. “Come now, Love,” Herron’s desperate plea islike a whisper, like a soft wind against your face, “You still have so muchleft to do. Come on, I can’t lose you to this.” Even when you pass out Herronrambles on.

When you wake,Herron is at your side. He’s been praying—to Adeliah, to Golding, any of theGods who might just hear the cries of a non-believer, but you’re not quite surehe believes it when your eyes open. He just sits there for a moment, before hedrags you into his arms with a pitiful little sob. You think he cries hard forthe first time in a long, long, time.

Keller: Kellerbites her lip when she sees you. She bites her lip and balls her fists as ifbattling something inside of herself that tells her not to go to you.Eventually, that look of apprehension falls away to a bright smile, unlikeanything you’ve ever seen on her face. She goes to you and lifts you up, “YourGods were on your side, I see,” She says, chest rumbling with a laugh. Thoughshe doesn’t believe, you hear her shoot off a small thank you—to Goldingof all Gods—before she presses her lips to your own. She kisses and kisses youuntil she can’t breathe, holds you even as Herron looks you over, and doesn’tlet you go until she knows you’re in the clear.

Korrin: “How didyou—” Korrin falters as you step into the tent, their back straightening, bodystiffening. The change is immediate, long gone is the previously calm Korrin,now replaced by shock. Their mouth falls slack, for once not knowing what to door say, for once not realising when you make your approach. Finally—“You mustbe a messenger—I already saw your corpse, I don’t need a reminder of what I didto earn Their ill will.” You can’t help but feel sorry for them—whatever visionthey received has affected them greatly. And so you kneel down beside them andtake their hand, pressing it over your heart. Korrin is silent for a long time,brows creased in confusion, before they crumble. “How?” They ask, dragging youin close, “How did you do it?”

You’re not quitesure yourself.

Lokeira: It neveroccurred to you how strong Lokeira actually is until he scoops you up into hisarms and twirls you around. His tail twists and curls around your ankles, his talonsdigging into your still sore skin. You don’t protest because you think he’scrying. With a little groan you somehow manage to get your arms around him,squeezing him as tightly as you can manage before dropping them to your sidesagain. You’re too tired, far too tired. But Lokeira is so happy, and he’sblubbering, and kissing at your face, so you suppose you’ll forgive it thisonce.

Necrolym: Hislunch drops from his hands as his eyes lay upon you, forgotten in the dust, andhe doesn’t seem to look at you quite right for a long moment as his mind slowlyprocesses the sight before him. Necrolym appears almost cautious at first,expression bewildered as if he doesn’t quite believe you survived. “You… you’realive,” He says, his thumb dragging over a dried cut along your cheekbone and heapproaches. Sucking in his bottom lip, he appears to appraise you for a momentmore before dragging you into a kiss, his lips capturing yours for a very longmoment. You almost can’t breathe when Necrolym pulls away, his grip on youloosening almost reluctantly. With a fond little smile, he flicks you playfullyon the nose, muttering, “Should have gotten here earlier, I would have made youlunch.”

Nox: It took sometime to find Nox again after you returned—true to her word, she was gone by thetime you came to, and you’re not even certain she knew you were still alivewhen she did leave. Now, you’ve tracked her down, and she does not look happyto see you.

“You have got tobe fucking kidding me,” She hisses, dropping the axe she was holding to theground and stalking over to you. She’s grown her hair out recently, herundercut a bit messy and wild, and she has a myriad of new scars. You don’t getthe time to admire them, however, before you feel yourself keep over with apunch to the gut. Nox grabs a hold of your collar, eyes narrowed as her lipspull up into a scowl. “I told you what would happen if you left and yet—” Agrimace, “—And yet, you come find me like some kind of—ugh!”

Throwing her armsup into the air, Nox begins to pace, her tiny legs only taking her so farbefore she spins once more to face you. She seems angry, she seems relieved, butmost of all she seems conflicted. Her hands ball at her sides, venomous wordsthreatening to spill out but, before she explodes, she forces them back down.After a brief pause, her expression softens somewhat, “Do you… want to come in?I have tea. Probably.”

Qora: Qora doesn’tspeak to you straight away when you return. Oh, you’re absolutely certain sheknows you’re back, but you’re also completely positive that she’s livid.You wait for her to come find you, and when she does, she does so without Zora.The cat simply waits outside your door, making as little sound as possible. Atfirst you think she wants to punch you, but instead she drags you into bed. Later,once you’re both about as relaxed as you’re going to be, she scolds you.

Severa: “You,”Severahisses, “Are a prick.” Those are the first words she says to you as soon as shesees you, before promptly giving you a firm punch on the shoulder. You didn’texactly expect a warm welcome back, not after your graceless exit, but you didn’texpect her to stay by your side, even when you’re healing. She swears upon herown grave that she’s angry with you, that she’ll never forgive you for ‘beingsuch an idiot,’ but every night she gets into bed beside you, you know shedoesn’t mean it. She’s more relieved than anything else, even if she’ll neveradmit it.

Spotter: Spottercries and blubbers when they see you, unable to let you go regardless of the wordsyou say to try and calm them. For the next few days, weeks, they are constantlyat your side, waiting on your every need despite your ability to do ityourself. You know they mean well, but it does start to grate on you—you’re afunctioning adult here, it’s not as if you didn’t expect the pain or suffering.Regardless of what you say, they don’t listen.

Perhaps it’s forthe best.

#Scenario ask #ROs #Anonymous

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pjo-hoo-nextgen · 6 years

Text

The First Quest X

Andy attempted to gain some knowledge as to why Maria and Jaxon were no longer on speaking terms, but not many people knew what had happened.

“I don’t get it,” Andy huffed, resting his chin on his hand. “They always fight but this is different.”

“Wrench,” Sol held out her hand expectantly and Andy placed the tool in her grip.

“If anything they’d have fixed it by now.” He paused in thought for a moment, tapping his fingers against his chin.

“Maybe they just need time apart.” Sol suggested making an unusual attempt at conversation.

“They hardly touch one another with an eight foot pole. They have plenty of time apart.” Andy laughed. Sol hummed in reply and settled her goggles back on her face. “I mean the bickering gets old but the silence is just...uncomfortable.”

“Some people have odd ways of doing things.” The motor Sol was working on gave a small attempt to start before fizzling out. “Crap. I swore I fixed it.”

“Try jiggling the knobby thing.” Andy pointed at a protrusion on the machine.

“That’s not what it’s called,” Andy noticed the small smile on her face and couldn’t help but sit up a bit taller. She took his advice anyways and sure enough the engine gave a mighty sputter before maintaining a low hum. “Yes! Finally!”

“Great! Now you can put it on the motorized dummy track for the training arena!” Andy hopped up from the stool he’d been sitting on.

“That’s the plan.” Sol nodded, moving to turn off the device. With a satisfied nod she tugged off her goggles and gloves.

“You got a little something.” Andy gestured to his own nose indicating the spot where Sol had a fair amount of grease plastered on her face.

“Again?” With a grunt of frustration Sol used the hem of her shirt to scrub at her face. The grease only smeared further over her nose and cheeks.

“Don’t do that!” Andy laughed. “You got it everywhere!”

“Ugh! I hate my life!” Sol huffed.

“Sit down. I got this.” Andy offered her the stool. Sitting, Sol watched him curiously until he came back with a squirt bottle, a surprisingly clean rag, and a mirror. “I will be your stylist today. I was trained in the art of beauty!”

With an impish grin Andy did a clumsy spin and struck a pose, spinning the bottle on his finger as if it were a ring of car keys.

“I hate you.”

“I know.” Andy winked. “Now let the master work.”

Sol sat perfectly still as Andy worked at cleaning away the stubborn residue. She’d had experiences like this before and her skin was often left red and raw from the rough material. This time, however, it was different. Andy managed to perform the task with ease being surprisingly gentle.

“Aaaaaaand, done.” He declared. “Take a look babe.”

Andy held up the mirror for Sol to check her reflection. “Not bad Grace.”

“Clean as a whistle.” Andy nodded. “Like I said...I’m the master.”

“Of dorkiness.” Sol scoffed tossing the dirtied rag at him.

“My feelings.” Andy feigned offense. “Anyways, we have a game of capture the flag to prepare for.”

“Indeed.” Sol nodded. “I have a feeling this will be very interesting.”

— — —

Indeed it was. Maria and Jaxon were inevitably on the same team once more. Only this time, Grey was left trying to manage the forces.

Maria and Jaxon had both adopted personal agendas and didn’t bother to acknowledge the rest of their team.

“Okay, so...I’m on defense. This is cool.” Andy talked to himself as he paced beside the flag.

“What’d you expect? We got our moment of glory last time. The other kids were destined to have a shot.” Sol frowned sitting on a rock and sharpening her blade. “But the schedule goes Wednesday-Friday for Capture the Flag games. We get another shot soon enough.”

“Yeah, but I expected more entertainment.” Andy paused in his pacing to kick a rock into the trees. At first neither of them noticed it but then it became quiet clear.

There was a commotion going on at the center of the battlefield. From the sound of it nearly everyone had stopped to watch. “Okay, I know we have to guard this but-“

“Come on.” Sol was already running in the direction of the noise with Andy following hot on her heels. The two stumbled from the woods to find a very alarming sight.

“Oh my Gods they’re trying to kill each other.” Andy breathed.

Despite being on the same team Jaxon and Maria were locked in a heated duel. Maria had a score to settle and she intended on restoring some of her pride.

Sol was the first to do anything. Being small she managed to worm her way through the gathered crowd. Andy squeezed his way through with a bit more effort.

“I said go to the right.” Jaxon growled.

“What I do is not up to you.” Maria replied slashing at him with her sword. Jaxon stepped to the side and lashed out in return. Maria arched her blade behind her back ending the strike. “You made it quite clear.”

Spinning Maria slashed angrily at Jaxon’s ankles. Leaping he twisted in the air sending a blast of air far more violent than he should have. Maria was knocked to the side, she tumbled a bit, before coming to a rest.

“Jaxon what are you doing?!” Andy demanded latching onto his brother’s arm.

Maria crawled to her feet, rolledher shoulders, and gave a twirl of her sword; a challenge.

“Enough. Both of you.” Grey stepped between the two raging demigods. “Knock it off.”

“Step aside Grey.” Maria’s voice was full of authority, dripping with the power only a true leader could muster.

“Make me.” The eldest boy raised his chin in defiance.

“Sorry.” Maria gave him an apologetic look before charging at Jaxon and using her elbow to nudge Grey aside. Jaxon shoved Andy away, who stumbled back into the crowd of people.

Sol’s anger flared up and despite herself her arms ignited in bright orange fire. Jaxon made another strike but Sol deflected the blade and caught hold of the weapon. The blade sizzled before the gold began to melt.

Jaxon looked down in surprise before it dawned on him that Sol was ruining his father’s blade. He’d just gotten it back from Thia via Hermes’ messenger friends: wind nymphs. Now, Sol was melting the gold into a bubbling puddle. On instinct he reacted.

Sol was blasted back into Maria causing both girls to collapse on the ground. There was the sound of a painful snap and a cry of pain.

“What is the meaning of this?” The demand came from Chiron who had finally made his way to the commotion.

Jaxon looked with teary eyes at the ruined heirloom in his hand. He had grown up using the blade, dreamed of smiting enemies as dangerous as his father had. It was gone now. Ruined.

Grey knelt beside Sol and Maria. “Are you two alright?”

“Ugh, yeah.” Maria mumbled rubbing her head. She glanced over at Sol only to find the young girl crying and nursing her very broken wrist. “Oh Gods.”

She wasn’t the only one to notice the injury. Grey’s eyes widened and he moved to help her. Andy flew into a rage. He tackled his brother to the ground despite his smaller stature and let his fists fly.

“What is wrong with you? Huh?” His fists stung painfully. “You can’t hurt people like that!”

“Stop!” Jaxon held his arms up to protect his face. “Andy, stop!”

The younger boy was thrown off with a buck of Jaxon’s hips. Jaxon wrapped his arms around Andy holding him still.

“Get off of me!” Andy yelled, squirming violently.

The commotion ended only when each of the demigods was dragged to the infirmary.

— — —

“I have no idea what’s gotten into all of you but you need to figure it out.” Jason stood with his arms crossed looking at each of the kids who sat nursing injuries. Grey was the only one completely unscathed.

“You cannot go around trying to kill each other! That’s not okay!” Annabeth who had also been selected to give the lecture pinched the bridge of her nose.

“I didn’t do anything.” Andy protested.

“You pummeled your brother.” Jason glowered. Andy opened his mouth to reply but Jason held up a hand. “Andy Clay Grace, do not argue.”

“So what’s the punishment?” Grey asked glumly.

“You’re all staying here until you sort it out. No leaving or going home.” Jason determined.

“That’s not fair!” Maria cried.

“Some of you can go home, Grey, Sol. You are both allowed to leave.” Neither of them made a move. “Or you can stay here if you wish.”

“Figure it out.” Annabeth shrugged. “It’s that simple. There’s no unity in anything if infighting this bad exists.”

— — —

And so they were left there to solve their problems. Maria selected her own little corner of the infirmary and claimed it her own. Jaxon did the same.

“Let me see it.” Grey knelt in front of the bed Sol sat on and gently took her bandaged wrist. “It should heal relatively well, maybe a bit of physical therapy will be needed, and no forge for some time.”

“Your dad said all of that already.” Sol mumbled. Sniffling she wiped her nose on her sleeve.

“Well, I learned from the best.” Grey stood and ruffled her hair. “I’ll be back. I’m going to get cleaned up.”

“Was it wrong to punch him?” Sol startled at Andy’s remark. He’d been so quiet she had hardly noticed him there.

“Yeah.” Sol nodded. Andy’s head was bowed and his bottom lip began to tremble.

“I just got mad. I didn’t mean to hurt him that bad but-I don’t like him when he’s like this.” Andy hardly cried and so Sol was left with a brief moment of surprise. She wasn’t sure what to do. She’d never been the best at comforting someone.

“Hey, don’t cry.” Sol gave a light punch to his arm with her good hand. “People mess up.”

“Yeah, but a good brother doesn’t punch his sibling.” Andy sniffled.

“A good brother also doesn’t push his sibling.” Sol slung her arm around Andy’s shoulders. He didn’t say anything else after resting his head on her shoulder. She let him cry and pretended not to notice for his sake.

— — —

Jaxon sat staring at the deformed blade. He couldn’t believe it. He wanted to cry. With an angered grunt he chucked it across the room where it clattered to the floor. “Stupid.”

Maria glanced in his direction and felt a tiny amount of sympathy for him. She did know how much the weapon meant to him. “Your dad won’t be mad you know.”

“Yeah right.” Jaxon huffed.

“He’s not that big of an ass.” Maria noted dryly. The conversation ended quickly and the infirmary was bathed in a permanent silence. Slowly the demigods began to drift off to sleep and the silence would remain until the morning.

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lifeinthegladhouse · 3 years

Text

after g*** died, i took a pause again from the spiritual world, well, a pause as much as i could (i mean aside from whatever shit i myself wantonly manifest). things seemed quiet. we had one instance a few days after he died that was quite beautifully coincidental, but, no weird things falling or snapping or crackling or, well, the things that happened when mom died. maybe because she was vindictively spiritual in a powerful way, it carried into death, and our bond was strong (despite her abuse), when i think strongly of her Shit Does Happen. with g***, we didnt spend as much time in person, ever, at all, even though he was really instrumental in who i am today, and in my life in the last ten years.... i hate that i cant see him, and will never see him again, i hate that we only got to meet a few times, and it was so strange and in passing. now dad is the only one left. i laid awake last night with fear. i cried. it happens to me sometimes. i autopilot the day, i find joy amidst the grief, and then i worry. now that ive faced death twice in 8 months, of two of the most important people in my family to die (2 out of 3 people that im am or have been close to, or were integral to me) ... i know, in part, what's coming to me. i now know how the death of a person takes it's own shape, like a weird translucent person, an after effect. how loss feels like a cold rattle, sweeping the dust out of every corner, you know you wont be alone because someday death will claim you too. when he goes, anyone who knew me back then, my family, will be gone. i have two half siblings that i am not, and will likely never be, actually close to. my mothers sister is still alive but she's a devout christian and ive never been close to her. in fact she could actually be dead. i dont know. my dads sister doesnt talk to me. its all unknowns. when hes gone im alone with my ancestors to my back, as the wind under my wings, encouraging me on. ill only have my dear sweet partner. every day i think of this. i try not to cry. i try to steel my face. i try to realize it happened to g*** too in a horrific way, ten years earlier than me, in life. and he lived his life to the fullest. i was the only person in the family, after that, decades later, with which he ever really probably got close to, and im honored. i still cant understand that hes gone, because we only corresponded online due to distance and his traveling life style. it's weird. like he's taking a 'break'. just 'gone' from the internet, gone in real life. i miss him. i miss my mom. a month and three days from now will be a year since finding out mom would pass, calling her in the hospital and she was high on morphine and dying, the first time id spoken to her in ten years since she ran away. a week later, she died. june 1st, the first day of pride. the country burned with the g* flyd riots. i was so proud. i was so proud for my comrades. i sat in that horrible hotel in texas with the screaming mockingbirds and horrid damp air conditioner. i took benzos and cbd. i entertained my brother who just drank and drank and drank and stared through me. g*** was there for me the whole time. in his way. i will never forget. i still dont know how to process this stuff. if i look at pictures of him, or listen to his bands, i just cry. it feels weird. i dont even let myself, b/c the shock and pain when he died was so strong. when i have to deal with his arrangements still, i get anxious. i start yelling. i become not how i normally am. last night grief sat on my chest like a fucking boulder and i just painfully breathed in and out and bared my teeth. i think of Coyote alone in the badlands, fur rustling in the soft wind. i think of leather jacket on rider, alone. i think of odinn wandering, alone, the Hermit. I think of the absolute of the atom bomb, and the cloud, and the desert, and everything dead beneath it, hot vibrating atoms. i think of love. i think of eternity. i think of death.

#personalposting #deathposting

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lala-baby · 4 years

Text

just to keep track of this

verbal

insulting things she knew I liked or was insecure about as a “joke”, especially my body

constantly insulting my intelligence and saying that she’s never met anyone as stupid as me, including saying that nobody else did things I did (e.g choking on spit occasionally)

speaking to me in a demeaning way (“go be a good little bitch and do X” “you can give me £xx for that since you’re using it” “know your place, bitch”)

Angrily criticizing me for things that weren’t my fault (and in a lot of cases were actually her fault)

telling me she doesn’t want control of me despite her actions completely contradicting that

calling me a nympho if i showed any kind of sexual interest, and occasionally telling other people that i was to try to embarrass me (like veda/stacey)

yelling at me for petty things like if I got water on the worktop after washing up

calling me a man or saying I was manly to me/others, or referring to me as a troll or a hog

saying i was too sensitive if i said i didnt like her shouting at me/calling me names etc and she was just being “brutally honest” because i wouldnt listen to her otherwise

calling me a narcissist

calling me arrogant if i didnt listen/disagreed with her

saying i had selective hearing when i genuinely didnt hear her say something (she may not even have said it and just been fucking with me)

bringing up ancient grievances at every opportunity (e.g when i gently tried to suggest that she might be a hypochondriac because its not normal to constantly want to go to the hospital)

making threats about hitting me if i did something she didnt like

shouting at me for crying if she’d upset me

deliberately saying nonsensical shit to win arguments since it cant be argued with (word salad)

having to win at absolutely everything and generally being adversarial

telling me that i can do things/that she wont stop me but then getting jealous and angry making it too difficult to continue

calling me arrogant and saying i was deliberately ignoring her if i didnt hear her because i was concentrating on something on my phone, usually followed by threatening to smash it

Telling me I was a cunt

Being deliberately transphobic to try and upset me

Saying my haircut made me look like I had downes syndrome

physical

hitting me for fun and then telling me it didn’t hurt and I was a pussy, even if bruises formed afterwards and were pointed out to her (she just continued to deny doing it or laughed at me)

holding me down and forcing medication into my mouth, giving me a panic attack so severe she thought i was having an anaphalactic reaction and called 999

Forcing me to drink herbal cough medicine that tasted vile because she said it was the only one that worked for me, even when I didn't really have a cough

using her security training to restrain me for no good reason other than to demonstrate her strength, while telling me I was weak

not allowing me to, or making it too difficult for me to make my own food choices leading to me putting on a huge amount of weight

controlling my medication/using it as an excuse to gaslight me (“these meds are making you act like a cunt, im taking you to get them changed” if I said no or disagreed with her, dictating when i took them/what dose i took, telling me certain medications wouldnt work for me because they didnt work for her and that the prescriber didnt know what they were talking about)

picking her stank-ass belly button and holding me down and forcing her fingers up my nose (what the fuck)

biting me hard enough to leave marks

controlling when i was allowed to sleep and getting angry and calling me lazy if i was tired, but also often waking me up throughout the night insisting that i was snoring and had to turn over /go sleep on the couch

forcing me to sleep under a duvet even though i sleep badly with them and making a big fuss if i refused

“jokingly” burning me with a lighter (though not inflicting actual burns)

Sitting on me to the point of restricting my airways

Pulling my hair

sexual

holding me down and sucking/biting my neck painfully hard even when I was yelling at her to get off of me and had warned her beforehand not to do that because i hated it and it hurt me (and insisting that it wasn’t hurting me, then mocking me/being angry afterwards)

deliberately giving me love bites against my will in places i couldn’t hide them, especially if i was due to see my family to try to embarrass me

telling me that it was my own fault for not being relaxed enough if I wanted to stop penetration because it was hurting and continuing despite my discomfort; getting angry/frustrated if I continued to say no/still didnt enjoy it to the point where i had to wait until I couldn't take it any more to get her to stop

saying that the reason I couldn’t orgasm from sex with her was because I masturbated too much and “banning” me from it for months at a time, then accusing me of not following orders and lying to her if i still couldnt orgasm

putting me on a “sex ban” if I didn’t do what she wanted in day to day life

saying inappropriate things to others, including my parents, alluding to our sex life

having inappropriate conversations about my body with the elderly man we were caring for in front of me, despite knowing that he had sexually assaulted me in the past

angrily insisting that she knew what she was doing and I didn’t have to tell her if I tried to communicate about how things felt

insisting that she had brought me to orgasm when she hadn’t, and that she knew because she could “taste the difference” and I must just not have felt it because my body didn’t work right, to the point that I believed her and thought there was just something wrong with me

insisting that “all /none of the other girls I’ve been with were like that” to try and guilt me about things I had no control over (genital appearance etc)

financial

making me spend the weekends (friday to monday) with her but complaining that I used all her electric/water/etc. when challenged about how much it was actually costing she said i didn’t know anything about how much things cost because “mummy and daddy had always paid everything for me”, and wouldn’t stop being nasty/aggressive until I gave in

making me buy her food shopping with my savings /using my savings as a free resource to be dipped in to at any time when she had spent her own money

making me buy her things or contribute towards buying things for her flat (hundreds regularly) through guilt /empty promises of repayment/getting me stuff when i moved out

telling me that I only give a shit about money and that I’m obsessed with it if I tried to say no to any financial demands

pressuring me to pay for holidays for us on the understanding that she would provide the spending money, but using her benefits payment instead of saving up for it so I ended up having to give her more money after the holiday so she could still eat/pay bills

not bothering to pay her bills/debts, knowing that it would worry me and that i would end up paying them off for her

buying me presents I didn’t want or need as a way to control me (either through guilt or just buying me things like tracksuits that she knew i didnt want to wear but would feel obligated to because she wanted to control how i dressed), but then getting the money off of me for them to pay for her bills etc as she had run out

becoming angry if I tried to donate anything she had bought for me, including things like children’s toys that she insisted I needed for my “autism”

pressuring me to buy ostentatious gifts (e.g nintendo switch, televisions) for her niece and nephew, usually in the range of hundred of pounds, and then taking credit for it as if she had spent her own money (her justification for this was that she had already spent all of her own money on presents /food /etc for me)

refusing to save/claiming she couldnt save and was “happy as long as she had a fiver in her pocket” because money didnt matter to her, to the point that she had no savings and my family and i had to help her buy furniture etc for her flat

psychological/emotional

being nasty about aspects of my appearance until I gave in and changed it (e.g piercings, hair)

pretending that she had no control over her temper, to the point that she claimed to have “blackouts” of rage where she would come round having seriously injured someone but have no memory of it

telling me it was creepy that I kept my pets ashes and threatening to get rid of them/saying i wasnt bringing them with me when i moved in with her

accusing me off loving my pets more than I loved her, despite causing me to be unable to bond with them properly due to the constant stress I was under

telling other people embarrassing /personal things about me that she found funny, usually in front of me, to try and embarrass me

smugly telling me “I know you better than you know yourself” at every opportunity and generally eroding my sense of self

belittling my likes /interests and replacing them with what she wanted me to like /be interested in - everything from clothes to food to shower gel to music to who I was friends with

trying to convince me to use sperm donated from a fucking facebook page like some kind of insane person

planning to use me to have a child and then send me off to work so she could stay at home on her arse for the rest of her life but framing it as “you can go have a career and ill take care of the baby :)”

accusing me of cheating on her constantly with anyone she perceived as a threat to my obedience (e.g regan, sophie), despite her being the one constantly texting her exes (which i never had a problem with because i trusted her for some goddamn reason)

not allowing me to make friends with anyone she didn’t like and lying to me about them/their motivations to turn me off of them (she claimed to be a good judge of character) - again, regan and sophie

lying constantly in general but making it so that disagreeing with her or calling bullshit would make my life hell and it would get brought up weeks or months down the line

constantly telling me my breath stank (nobody else has ever said that and my dentist literally said my teeth are perfect last time i went), claiming it was because i only drank water and that wouldnt hydrate me (????) and constantly forcing me to drink tea or lucozade (neither of which i would drink given the choice) in large quantities

constantly talking about her work history and forensic history with a sense of pride(assault with intent, gbh, abh, criminal damage, etc etc) and about how badly she’d hurt people in the past, I think to leave me in no doubt as to her capabilities

warping my perception of reality by aggressively denying that things had/hadn’t happened, to the point that I didn’t know what was real and became dependent on her to tell me

using love as a means of control (“you’re meant to love me, I’m your girlfriend” if I tried to assert boundaries/did anything she perceived as insubordinate etc)

bagging up any belongings (except the stuff she wanted to keep for herself) I had at her flat and saying we were over and to come get my shit if I wasn’t obeying her enough

getting suspicious/irritated if I tried to take a bath or use the toilet with the door closed

constantly accusing me of hiding things from her

forcing me to strip naked to allow her to check my body for evidence of self harm

making me use her dirty bath water if I needed one, to “save water” (despite already taking money from me for the water bill)

trying to make me suspicious of the mental health professionals in charge of my care and make them seem untrustworthy or that their opinion was worthless (e.g saying they were wrong about my Dx, therapy won’t work for me, “you don’t have to do every little thing your care coordinator tell you to do it’s just SUGGESTIONS, they’re just trying to control you” etc)

insisting on coming to all my appointments with me so i didnt get to speak to anyone on my own

trying to control my family relationships, e.g making me phone my parents but ensuring that she was there to witness whatever was said, to the point that my family were afraid to voice their concerns about the relationship in case i cut contact with them

constantly posting cringey “romantic” bullshit on Facebook, including buying flowers etc for the sole purpose of showing off what a great girlfriend she was, and becoming angry if I didn’t respond in exactly the right way (not enough kisses etc) for “making her look a cunt ”

getting her niece and nephew to call me auntie lauren and constantly referring to me as her wife from only a few months into the relationship so that i would feel more committed than i was and less able to leave

blaming me and getting angry if the flowers she bought me died too early

getting angry if I didn’t sleep with the multitude of teddies she’d brought me/have them on display at all times and angrily demanding to know why she had wasted her money

constantly telling me that I was doing the things she had to me to do like an idiot, e. g hanging up washing, and taking it down and redoing it in a way that was not discernibly different

always threatening to break up with me if I didn’t toe the line, saying there was no point in us being together and that she didnt need me and wouldnt miss me, and that shed finally have less stress and a tidy flat

saying i was hard work and belittling my intelligence if i asked her how she wanted me to do one of the really specific chores she would make me do

badly neglecting her fish by not performing water changes or removing dead fish to the point that they would literally all die before going out and getting a load more, but not letting me care for them instead despite me pleading her and buying things to make it easier for her to do (e.g an expensive water testing kit that would have lasted her years); getting angry at me if i went behind her back to try to care for them by waking up early to do a water change etc and accusing me of being a smartarse for thinking i knew more about fish than she did when i literally studied animal management at college and actually did know more than her

using me like a slave to clean up her flat/do her washing up/take her mountains of rubbish out by angrily telling me that I had made the mess the previous weekend so she had left it waiting for me (this eventually lead to her having nearly 30 bags of months old rain soaked waste on her balcony one winter that she made me take down myself because “the rubbish is YOUR job and it’s your rubbish too, Ive only ever asked you to do one thing for me and you’re so lazy you won’t even do that blah blah blah”)

telling me to do important things “later” in a way that was framed as her being nice but was actually just more convenient for her /she knew would result in the thing not getting done because she didnt want me doing it

repeatedly breaking my toilet in Nelson House by insisting on flushing her tampons down sand saying that thats what you’re supposed to do, to the point that the toilet was eventually removed, then telling everyone I broke it by having a big shit. as sharing toilets was a mental health difficulty for me I had to suffer for months before being able to move rooms because of this

washing one of my outfits in with her own washing, acting all nice and then later saying that because she had done that for me I had to do a mountain of housework for her

making me go to a&e with her constantly (multiple times a week sometimes) and getting very angry at me if I tried to point out that she didn’t need to go; expecting me to go along with whatever lies she told people about what happened (e.g saying her blood pressure was extremely high and dangerous when it had come back completely normal)

forcing me to spend the weekends at her flat whether I wanted to or not, to the extent that my housing benefit and tenancy at nelson house was put at risk

alternately praising and demeaning my support worker depending on what she had advised me about our relationship (she was leas friend/flying monkey and would switch between saying lea was abusing me and that she was good for me)

making false accusations to the police and sanctuary about me “watching videos of babies being raped” on the darkweb in an attempt to get me to kill myself because i was starting to break away from her control

breaking up with me because i sent someone she didnt like a text after being banned from talking to her all weekend

banning me from talking to people and constantly checking to see if i was or not

taking an “overdose” (it was 25mg of diazepam lol) to try and get me to go crawling back to her

saying that I snored and forcing me to use all kinds of expensive and extremely uncomfortable anti snoring medication /devices, and then usually waking me up in the middle of the night and kicking me out anyway (but getting offended if i suggested sleeping separately from the start)

acting indifferent to my presence and alternating between saying she loved me and that she didn’t need me and wouldn’t miss me if i was gone

forcing me to disclose traumatic things even if I said i wasn’t comfortable speaking to her about it (guilt trips), and then using those things against me/miraculously having the same thing happen to her but ten times worse

gossiping about me with one of my support workers and using that support workers opinion to give legitimacy to her attempts to control my decisions

making me sleep next to the open bedroom door (in her usual spot) when i was unwell despite knowing it terrified me

blaming my behavior on diagnosis she had given me herself (“it’s your autism/bipolar” etc) and insisting i didnt have bpd because “thats just what they diagnose you with when they dont know what to do with you”

making me give her massages/wash her hair and body/squeeze her back spots/shave her legs /cut her toenails for her more or less every night and getting aggressive/sulking if i didnt want to

blaming physical ailments (that she demonstrably didn’t have and who’s severity /presentation changed on a very convenient basis) as an excuse to make me do things for her

putting me under huge amounts of pressure to perform “correctly” for her at all times or be harshly berated, ultimately driving me to attempt suicide several times because there was no escape from her nastiness

telling me that her family didn’t like me /disapproved of our relationship if she couldn’t get her own way and saying they wanted her to leave me because I was x y or z

Repeatedly telling a story about her dad (who has a violent history and had been in prison for attempted murder) threatening to burn down an ex girlfriends workplace and finding it hilarious that her ex was too scared to go to work for weeks

dismissing my concerns about anything as not a big deal or getting angry about me bringing them up, even serious things (e.g a sexual assault)

deliberately provoking me when I had told her to stop because my mental health was bad and i didnt feel able to control my reactions, because she enjoyed the drama /going to the hospital /getting attention from playing the long suffering loyal girlfriend role

only ever treating me with kindness if I had made a suicide attempt/done something dangerous to myself, and then using that against me later (”you put me through hell and im still always there for you so why cant you x y or z”)

blaming her being “in crisis” on me/my poor mental health (and not even being in crisis to begin with)

never saying sorry for hurting me, ever, even when proven “wrong” about something in front of impartial third party who insisted she should apologize for it

getting angry at me for googling any of the ridiculous things she said if I wasn’t sure it was accurate

making me go to a&e/doctors /mental health team when I didn’t want or need to be there because she enjoyed the attention she received as my partner

being angry at me for bring “constantly” on my phone and accusing me of texting other people instead of paying attention to her/whatever was on tv

getting angry if I didn’t want to watch whatever she was watching on tv (she would still be watching it but would get angry if I didn’t pay enough attention)

constantly trying to one-up me with her mental health/dismiss my concerns about how i was feeling and calling me self-centered because she had everything so much worse but was still “getting on with it”

demanding that i always answer the phone to her, and calling multiple times a day to keep tabs on me, usually keeping me talking for 2-3 hours daily whenever i wasnt staying at hers. it got to the point that it was pointless for me to try to do anything because i would start and then she would interrupt. if i didnt answer she would continually call the office claiming to be worried about me

trying to stop me from drinking, going to the extent of telling my parents she thought i had a drinking problem (i objectively didnt) because she didnt want me to spend time with a housemate she was jealous of because we actually had fun

expecting me to drop everything even when I was unwell to help care for an elderly man (who at one point sexually assaulted me), including regularly cleaning up urine/feces from the walls/floor because she didnt want to do that part, despite me saying that we werent trained and didnt have the correct ppe, and if we kept going above and beyond for him social services werent going to put a proper care plan in place for him. includes countless hours at hospital etc

buying me a shirt with a a swear word printed prominently on it and getting angry when I said it would be inappropriate to wear to a care home in case they kicked me out, and forcing me to do it anyway because she wanted brian (old man) to see it

lying about the value of gifts she’d brought me as a means of control/guilt (e.g earrings that she’d told me were £60, getting angry when i accidentally damaged one but when i went to get one fixed the guy said they weren’t worth more than £10 and would cost more to repair than replace)

insisting she couldn’t wait to rehome our cats (and taking the money for them despite the fact that i paid for them and their stuff) and giving them to a stranger despite knowing it would be a matter of weeks before i would be in a position to take them myself, because she couldn’t be bothered to look after them

deciding that we were getting guinea pigs (i wanted something else) and saying that caring for them would be split equally with one belonging to her and one to me, and that she would take them with her when she moved out, but only ever cleaning them once and then leaving me to care for them exclusively

complaining and calling me needy whenever i tried to show any kind of affection

accusing me of not trusting her when i did implicitly like an idiot

blaming all the problems in the relationship on me and whenever i brought up something that was upsetting me telling me that i did it to her too but worse

taking credit for me “getting gobby”/becoming less introverted and saying she was a good influence on me, despite having nothing to do with it (and that not being true, I was just settling in to the house)

having to sit in darkness because she wouldn’t let me open the blinds because she said having them open would damage her tv

if i was ever angry/irritated saying i was “hangry” and taking the piss, encouraging me to comfort eat and then acting smug when it calmed me down

saying that she hopes my friend dies and that she deserves to die when she was in a coma

trying to turn a mutual friend against me after she broke up with me, to the point that the friend refused to repeat what she'd said but told me she was dangerous and to stay away from her

expecting me to drop everything and make her cups of tea whenever she wanted, and making me remake them if they weren’t perfect /getting angry if I said i was busy

particularly saying i had to remake tea because it tasted like soap because i hadnt washed her cup up properly (she would use the same mugs continually until they were absolutely filthy and then leave me to wash them when i was there), often after I definitely had washed them properly but she just wanted to keep me in my place

playing on my fears (of guilt, abandonment etc)

convincing me to change my mind about what i wanted through compliments etc (e.g saying i looked much better wearing whatever she wanted me to wear)

expecting me to know what she wanted at all times without being asked and generally to be able to read her mind, and getting angry and claiming that i should know what she wanted because i was her girlfriend and that she always knew what i wanted and did everything for me blah blah blah

getting angry when i suggested couples therapy and saying it would be pointless because i would just blame everything on her

accusing me of “thundering around” and having heavy footsteps when i was just walking normally so I got so paranoid i had to tiptoe everywhere

refusing to clean up to the point that she got cockroaches, then refusing to acknowledge that it was because she kept leaving dirty dishes etc out and blaming it on her neighbours or on me, and then refusing to do anything about it so i had to pay for the poison and put it out repeatedly etc and make sure I cleaned up after her every time I came over so they wouldn't keep coming back

getting extremely frustrated when trying to accomplish simple tasks (usually diy related) but getting really angry and me when i offered help and accusing me of thinking she was an idiot (she was being an idiot a lot of the time, not reading instructions/using powertools in dangerous ways etc). it was scary and she would sometimes break things that i had bought out of frustration if she couldnt get them to work right (the cat cage & ball track toy for example)

refusing to prepare at all for when she moved out of nelson house so i had to do it, and then refusing to unpack her stuff at the other end in the hope that i would do that too

refusing to let me report an incidence of child abuse that happened in a neighbouring flat to hers because she was friends with the father and said the child deserved it

refusing to let me take the bus at times (she did pay for taxis for me but given the amount of money she took from me i might as well have been paying for them) even when i wanted to and acting like by not giving me a choice she was doing me a favour. in retrospect i think she wanted to know that i was going straight home

always asking me where i was, who i was with and sometimes accusing me of lying about it, either way trying to make my life hell

trying to encourage me to stay on my own and ignore my housemates but phrasing it in a cutesy way (just make a cup of tea and shut your door and have a nice night to yourself without any drama) so it sounded less like she was trying to be controlling

ringing me every night to confirm that i was in bed when i said i would be and making me video call her if she didnt believe me

telling me gossip about mutual friends that wasnt even true because she loved the drama (e.g saying venetias children had died because they had been born deformed)

constantly slagging off her exes and telling fantastical stories about how they broke up/stalked her/abandoned her/abused her and about the triumphant ways she got back at them

generally always telling incredibly unbelievable stories that made her look either “good” (e.g “taking down a squaddie in front of his mates”, sleeping with a nurse while both on duty) or made her out to be the illest (claiming to have had a psychotic break, coughing up a kidney stone)

virtue signalling with brian while also being controlling towards him/explaining things to him in a way that he would do what she wanted/saying “oh he won’t mind, he’d tell us to do it if he were here” when she used his card to buy us lunch etc (yeah he probably would have but that isnt the point)

getting angry if i ever discussed our relationship with anyone else, saying it was none of their business/i was trying to make her look like a cunt; telling me not to tell anyone after she did horrible things

promising things about the future and then never delivering any of it

saying that she wouldnt be the one carrying our children, trying to tell me that getting sperm from facebook was safe and generally treating me like a walking uterus

ending lies/false promises with “you know i will/do/am” to try and enforce to me that she was telling the truth

telling me to cancel holidays id paid for/not come over/generally throwing her toys out of the pram when she couldnt get her own way

forcing me to watch murder documentaries, usually about women being murdered by their partners, and getting way too in to it in a way that was a bit creepy

telling me my menstrual cup was disgusting and trying to force me to use tampons instead

making a big fuss about how she used to ~be an alcoholic~ and that she cant drink because it makes her a nasty person, and then buying a load of beer and vodka when the relationship wasnt going well and saying shed fallen off of the wagon because of me

constantly telling me i had BO to the point i was really paranoid (nobody else has ever said anything about it)

bullying me into letting her smoke in my room

throwing her rubbish on to my floor constantly because she was too lazy to pick it up, so i had to

constantly talking about how against domestic violence she was, saying she'd never hit a woman and how she had been a victim of it to make me think what she was doing wasnt abuse

doing small things for me that I found difficult because of my mental health (e. g phone calls) and then holding it over my head

telling me that i was incapable of love, and that the only person i loved was myself because of how selfish i am

deliberately killing two bees that I was enjoying watching by stomping them into the pavement then laughing at me when I was upset about it

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