#im back on my bullshit babey

[promisinininining]

I'm not very good at writing longfic because I jsut don't have that much to say about a thing. that means when things do get long, though, that I start to panic because, do I split it up? into chapters??? people like long oneshots though right. And it's not THAT long. And I've already got it done. And Then, Oh No, Someone Has To Edit This, And It's Going To Be Me.

[dramaticallymurderedqueen]

*reblogs 293729 kbdn posts in a row* hey guys guess what im currently obsessed with

[gothbirb]

Thinking so many thoughts. Mostly about Hermann

[hoonharpoon]

Update time babey

Im fr just back on my bullshit lets goo

[thewholedamnboulangerie]

i have 5 million things to do this evening, i have horrifyingly few hours to complete said tasks, BUT NONE OF THAT MATTERS IT'S WOT S2E6 TIME BABEY

EYE EMOJI AT MIN'S VISION OF MAT STABBING RAND BEING INCLUDED IN THE RECAP. HMMMMMMMMMMM!

oh damn i was so sure that we'd pick straight back up with lanfear domming rand in tel'aran'rhiod since we got cliffhangered so hard with that last week

GODDDDDDDDD they are doing such an incredible job of portraying the horror of the seanchan. i am in agony ty

sidenote it's absolutely unforgivable of them to make renna this hot js

oh here we GO it's femdom hours (as always in this show but like. more than usual). lanfear's everything in this scene im. hm! i shall not speak 🙏

"what makes you think you can't trust me" [gestures] BOTH THEIR FACES IM YELLING god lanfear is so fucking funny. she's evil she can control your dreams she's going to murder that random man she's the hottest woman alive she's a comedian. what CANT she do!!

THE POTENTIAL CAUTHOR REUNION IS SO CLOSE IM GOING TO GO INSANE ACTUALLY

LANFEAR AND LIANDRIN IN ONE SCENE IS IT HOT EVIL WOMEN CHRISTMAS?????????????????

"you have... interesting fixations" hellO

sorry but this is now my favourite character combo of all time actually i am eating this for breakfast ooooohhhhhhhhmyGOD

ooooh treesinging as throatsinging is such a great concept i LOVE it

alanna is so fucking hot my GOD

...this liveblog rly is just me swooning over this entire cast but im literally a lesbian whAT else am i supposed to do?????

HELL YES WE LOVE A REVEAL IN THIS HOUSE even if it's just a new character finding out info that the audience has known for ages WE STILL LOVE IT

ISHY

ISHY

ISHY

MOtherFUCKER

IM YELLING I FUCKING LOVE HER ALSF;KSDKLGJDFLG

"Ishamael has her" the absolute deliciousness of the web of grudges and relationships being spun in this episode it's SO GOOD

ALSO the dramatic book reader irony of rand dropping into egwene's dreams like Literally Of All People

SIUANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN GOD HER THEME STARTED PLAYING AND MY EYES INSTANTLY WELLED UP

THAT HUG??????? HELLO??? FUCKING HELLO? I AM SHRIEKING INTO THE VOID RIGHT FUCKING NOW???? PUT! MATRIM! CAUTHON! IN! THE POLYCULE! OR SO HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I hope they told you, at your White Tower, how special you are" godDAMN the LAYERS of PAIN

THEY LITERALLY SAID. LET'S MAKE THE MOST PAINFUL SCENE OF ALL TIME. AND THEN THEY DID THAT.

ELAYNE MY BELOVEDEST BABYGIRL

okay fucking hell not to repeat what i said LITERAL MINUTES AGO but like. put mat IN the POLYCULE are we all seeing this shit literally HEEEELLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO???????

IF YOU LOVE HIM STAY AWAY???????? they are expecting me to not be on my bullshit about this ship for fucking ever now??? i think NOT

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. LET'S GO LESBIANS???????????????

IM GOING TO HAVE A STROKE

ALONE IT IS

LAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD THAT WAS FUCKING HORRIFIC. THIS SHOW IS A MASTERPIECE BTW

[alstroemerian-dragon]

thinking about the several month period where the survivors (plus the two who are already awake) work to 1) wake up mahiru 2) support her through healing and then 3) wake up peko

and how utterly Miserable that period of time has to be for fuyuhiko

(more under the cut because its another long one babey)

like. okay. heres a couple of disclaimers: this is a repeat, but i have not watched the anime. so if the character dynamics from it are your canon, just know i may not follow that. second, i… dont really think about mahiru that much. shes not really that much of a character to me, given what were given in canon, and the Casual Man Hating Mom Friend Lesbian (and i know she canonically has a crush on hajime so shes definitely bi or pan dont yell at me) trope just does nothing for me im sorry HOWEVER. in contrast to fuyuhiko, and in terms of what, in my brain, she does during the tragedy (which will probably WILDLY contradict literally everyone else’s opinions), there IS something in… her* arc post sim (that * will come back) that DOES interest me. bear with me

fuyuhikos ingrained belief system revolves almost entirely around the phrase ‘There is always a bigger fish.’ there is always going to be someone stronger, bigger, and more dangerous than you, so you have to work to be the strongest, biggest, and most dangerous you can in order to stay alive. along with that, he’s had very strangled views of what it means to be a Man shoved down his throat by most likely his father, so to him, being a man means being Big and Strong and Dangerous. but at the same time… he knows thats all bullshit. hes had other influences in his life, peko, his sister and, in my mind, his mother and other strong women high up in his clan, that have shown him the falsehoods of a lot of those claims. at the same time, he also knows, in the back of his head, that he physically can not meet those expectations for being a man. but… he is one. i think hes Solid in that. so it ends up all conglomerating and fighting in his head in a very confusing mess, which honestly has to be exhausting.

mahiru, by contrast, seems to have this very odd two-part system of beliefs, where being a man means being Confident and Strong and Protective, but at the same time, men are fundamentally Lazy and Stupid and Uncaring. women need to be protected by men, but also men are unnecessary. its… yeah its honestly familiar lmao. and some of this is the writers’ beliefs seeping in and some of it is bad writing but at the end of the day its what weve got.

so, to me, it really feels like the two of them would have absolutely hated each others guts during school. fuyuhiko is neither Big and Strong and Caring, nor is he Lazy and Stupid and Uncaring. he cares a lot, but not openly, or in a way that mahiru would easily recognize. hes an enigma in her eyes. and to fuyuhiko, mahiru is stuck in a frame of mind hes been fighting since he was a child, and as much as he’d try to be sympathetic, his anger has a tendency to get the better of him.

so… sato’s death would only have made this situation worse.

i dont think any of them knew he was responsible for her death. i dont think fuyuhiko told ANYONE aside from peko, especially since this would have been in their second year, after junko had begun sinking her talons into the entire class. how could he trust any of them? and he has to have known about her connection to mahiru, its the only way he could have found out she was involved in natsumi’s death. he kept it from her in particular, knowing she wouldn’t understand, knowing she would blame him, knowing it would just make things worse.

she probably doesnt realize the full extent of everything until… until after she wakes up.

im not gonna go too much into them as despairs, but lets just say that fuyuhiko… is responsible for a lot of bad things, even ones that happened to his fellow limbs. mahiru also did a lot of shit, but hiko i think is one of the only ones who hurt his so-called allies. and her cheery, fake, influencer-like attitude absolutely grated on him like crazy, resulting in a lot of screaming matches and even physical altercations.

so, when mahiru wakes up, her opinion of fuyuhiko is the lowest it could possibly be. hes an enigma, a stick in the gears, a man who hasnt yet shown his true colors and yet is also a violent, cruel dictator, fulfilling every expectation she has for the kind of man she expects the Ultimate Yakuza to be.

except he isnt. because by the time she wakes up, its been over a year and a half since the program shut down, and fuyuhiko is a very, very different person. and he doesnt have a low opinion of her at all. hes incredibly sympathetic to her situation, understands how much pain shes probably in, understands theres definitely a lot more under her surface beliefs that he doesnt see or know yet. thinks it was incredibly brave of her to stand up to him despite knowing he could be violent and dangerous.

and as the days go by, she sees that. sees him interacting with the others, sees him laugh at one of hajimes stupid jokes, sees him smile and roll his eyes at kazuichi’s physical affection, sees him lean on his cane when his leg flares up, sees him rubbing at the scars around his eye when they ache. sees how much respect he treats her with, how much space he gives her while not avoiding confrontations, because hes done running. hes been running for far too long, and hes done with it.

i think it takes a long time. weeks, maybe. months, possibly. but i think it starts to weigh on her mind, that she cant keep treating him like a criminal. like a weapon. cant keep ignoring his humanity in favor of the label of Violent Man that sits in her brain. and, additionally, interacting with the others, with hajime, with sonia, with kazuichi and sagishi. she starts to realize how utterly stupid the rigid gender structures that exist in her heard really are.

basically what im saying is i think mahiru is a he/him butch bi woman because i love to hit characters with the Cool Ass Gender ray. this is where that * comes back by the way thats why thats there because mahirus not a girl but also he is a girl but also hes not. hope this helps <3 also he and fuyuhiko are Worsties. they should eventually get to a point where they can both make jokes about the fact that fuyuhiko tried to kill him and can also have serious conversations about the sato and natsumi shit without devolving into unproductive arguing.

AND THEN PEKO WAKES UP FUCK THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT—

[mushroominawaterbottle]

Im back in my bullshit babey, gonna watch the TV show to see if lestat is as punchable as he is the movie. Dramatic blonde motherfucker i wanna hit him with a mallet. Love him tho. But he fucking sucks and i want him dead

[crayonverse]

i was in a genshin drought for a little bit because i kept playing rimworld and the sims more but IM BACK ON MY BULLSHIT BABEY!!! lets fuck about in the desert trying to help this pink bitch with things

[explorersaremadeofhope]

I cannot very well ask him to stop breathing.

for @last-smoke 🧭 @theterrorbingo prompt 1.10 - We Are Gone.

[frolis-maneuver]

i started binging 02 on impulse last night and the odaiba episode STILL destroys me so here’s a 3am happy reunion sketch yeehaw

[datamining-your-heart]

If there was ever a shitpost to sum up my OC entirely, it would be this one right here

[dykeceit]

@2queer2deer @wisepuma23 :)

im sorry

i dont accept constructive criticism

[monaownsmyass]

Ride-or-Die - Chapter 15 Theory, Thoughts and Explanations (Mona x MC)

Note: This chapter is the chapter where Mona shoots our car and tells reminds us, “If it’s you or me... it’s gonna be you”.

Alright, so my aim in this post is to try and rationalise and explain why Mona said or did the things she did in this chapter. No, I do not think it was right (then again, we’re talking about a legit criminal here so I think it’s safe to assume everything she does is questionable). All I wanna do is try and see things from her point of view and maybe emphatise with her situation.

I’ve tried multiple times to reason why she would do so especially after admitting she loves MC. I thought even she wouldn’t do such a thing and it was out of character for her for a long time. But then, I realised, I’ve been seeing things from MC’s point of view and not Mona’s.

When we first see Mona, she’s driving by MC’s side in the car chase.

And the first thing she says to MC is that she told us if it was gonna be her or MC, it was gonna be MC. She said this, clearly angrily.

Mona has never been able to trust anyone. The last time she did, it landed her in jail. Because of that, she has always been cautious and put herself first before others. It’s a survival instinct, especially since she never knows who she can really trust. It’s smart of her if she wants to survive.

She’s also angry here because I believe it when she said she loved MC. How on earth does that have to do with anything? Well, imagine you’re in her shoes. She gave up her freedom and joined the Brotherhood so MC could get away safely (survival and freedom aren’t the same thing). And what does MC do? She purposely goes after the Brotherhood. 

Obviously Mona cares for MC enough to give herself up and only for MC to run back into danger. I’d be angry if the person I gave up the thing I cherished the most (in Mona’s case, freedom) willingly placed herself in danger too.

Her saying this was one last attempt at scaring MC away. Warning her that she did this to herself. She has warned MC in the past that they only look out for themselves but MC chose to believe otherwise.

Also, Mona has only known MC for what, 2-3 weeks? Do you seriously think it’s beyond Mona to put herself first so she can survive? Can you blame her? In my opinion, to think she’d give up her own safety for a girl she’s known for less than a month would be extremely unlike her, especially since it’s been so ingrained into her for a very long time that she had to look out for herself and she couldn’t get too comfortable with anyone.

Even if she loves MC, love just isn’t enough sometimes.

Next, Mona starts shooting MC’s car.

My theory here, is that Mona actually wasn’t planning to shoot at her tires. her shots don’t even hit the tires at first.

She only hit a tire after MC decided to swerve either into Mona or away. I’m thinking, she lost her aim when MC moved and unintentionally hit her tire. Why would she be shooting her tires in the first place? To put on a show for the Brotherhood and get them to believe she’s loyal to them. Now that I think about it, even her saying “It’s gonna be you” could very well be all for show.

And even if I’m wrong about this, she clearly believed that the Brotherhood wouldn’t hurt MC if they caught her.

In times of desperation, I could see why Mona would cling on to that hope even if she should know better than to trust anyone. Like I said, she actually loves MC and she wants to believe nothing bad would happen to her. And honestly, why would they have any reason to hurt her?

Anyway, let’s appreciate Mona being blatantly honest about her being impressed even if it’s at her own expense.

Reason #26395 why I love her.

Alright, getting back on track, when MC is finally caught, Mona says this:

The genuine regret, sadness and confusion, in just that word. “Why?”.

It’s heartbreaking. For Mona. at this moment, she realised that not everyone she loves is just gonna up and leave her at the first sign of danger. Much unlike her ex, MC persisted and didn’t back away when she was in trouble. Even despite Mona telling her to.

I think Mona honestly thought that MC would walk away. And she actually hoped that MC did. Not only to keep her safe, but because I’m pretty sure Mona is wrecked with guilt and regret for even thinking that she would and for all the things she said and did to MC

She finally realises that MC meant it when she said she loved her and she wasn’t gonna back away from her.

I think that’s all I have to say about this. I understand that not everyone sees this the same way as I do but I just wanted to explain a possibility of Mona’s motives and thought process. (I also feel the need to disclaim; I’m not trying to romanticize this situation and everyone should be aware of the differences between fiction and reality.)

[warlordfelwinter]

catch me playing destiny classic again cause i forgot how much i love the iron lords

[professionaljester]

Mods are asleep time to listen to y sallowgram playlist and cry

[mudshadow]

eat your heart out