#im currently reading the books and i just love her so much :( best girl <3

[the-banana-0verlord]

Answer some or all I wanna know more about you 👁️👁️

Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

What was the last song you listened to? 

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

What’s your favorite band/artist? 

When is your birthday? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 

Alright, ill try lmao

1.no, i dont have freckles!

2. I WISHED i found Coffee and tea good because its so aesthetic but it tastes bad imo

3. I checked my spotify and its girls just wanna have fun by cyndi lauper so i suppose its that

4.i move a lot but i usually end up on my side.

5. I move too much to sleep with a lot of them because they always end up on the floor. Although i do sleep with my malleus plushie.

6. Thats a hard one, because i do both. Though i think of writing as my primary hobby/eventual job, i definitely have more fun drawing(until art Block comes knocking that is)

7.depends on the thickness. Right now i have three eith two being thin and one being medium, but i could sleep with one really thick one.

8. Mitski!!! I love her so much. Otherwise I like mother mother and marina

9.the third of november!

10. 154 cm or 5 feet. No that is not short

11. Blue-grey-kaki. I like to think of them as blue.

12. All my mutuals, all my irls, my mom, my dad, and my little sister

13. Abandonnent, failure, the future in general.

14. Yellow and light blue!

15.fall! Its so pretty

16. Im not sure yet but i can maybe have someday a small tattoo. Im not a fan of qhoel body tattoos for myself.

17. Well my ears a pierced but im not gonna get more.

18. My two irls! Talking about not getting neuvillette in gneshin ;-;(and murder)

19. I dont have a best friend per se, although i do have a closest friend. Weve been friends for at least three years(already? Damn)

20. Honestly i miss my first mutual on here. I hope they come back soon ;-;

21. It just started but its been pretty good up til now!

22. About 9-10 hours?

23. I mean, there is bound to be other forms of life in space, just thousands of lightyears away.

24. Monday cause my friend said she didnt think we were friends.

25. Id say 1890 to 1900? Though the living conditions were meh i like the aesthetic

26. Generally being silly ig? I suppose i act childihs as a comic relief.

27. Currently my favorite book(s) is the Truly Devious series by Maureen Johnson! It's been clawing it's way into my brain.

28. I'm actually doing quite fine. I'm a bit stressed since i'm going to boston soon but i can push out the bad thoughts!

29. I usually procrastinate decisions as far as possible. If it's a small one maybe like 2 minutes but if it's bigger ones it'll take longer(with the answer being no a lot)

30. Something i'm dreading but also am excited for is summer! Bye school but hello summer job ;-;

31. My irls and i(can i really call them irls? i met only two of them irl and once or twice. anyways-) are planning a roadtrip after we're all 18(aka in a bit more than 4 years)!

32. Either my friend's (irls+ moots) houses or in paris. I've always wanted to see paris.

33.open, my cats need to be free to walk in and out!

34. sunflowers and roses(i have a list on the meaning of each rose color) daisies are also cute.

35. i...guess? i own a banana shaped stress ball(that is very dirty i dont use it much) but idk if it counts as a squish.

36. yes, almost more than my first name. although my first and second name are kinda in the same name. it's like first name-second name.

37.cats!!! I have two(named chicken nugget and nebraska)(my family also owns dogs but oh well)

38. I'm a bit scared of heights but i wouldn't say i have a phobia

39. i usually go to sleep at 10:30 pm on weekdays, and 11:00-11:00 on weekends(when i don't have to wake up early due to sunday class)

40.Although i haven't been to a real beach a lot, i like it! And i always prefer sunny days so sun it is(to experience sunset on a beach... must be the dream)

41. I'd say the owl house! It's so colorful with two of my main kins.

42. @xen-blank @thehollowwriter @quartztwst @boopshoops @saionjeans (so sorry for the tag non-moots! Also i would've included all my moots but it said five ;-;)

43. Yes, i have five siblings! One oldest sister, two older brother, a little brother and the baby of the family, my little sister. i have middle child syndrome.

44. Either my mom or my little sister. I hug and say i love you to them very often. Or i said it to malleus last. One of them.

45. Tbh i have no idea in which circomstances i would die for something. maybe if i could trade my life with someone's close to me. or for peace on earth idk.

46. a big ol hug from my malleus plushie. it's a real emotional support.

47. no i have not. or maybe i did. i will probably forget it soon.

48. my two parents absolutely.

49."I wish to expérience it someday" (speaking of old lady gossip)

50. can i send you the same questions? :3

[ladytauria]

i think i reblogged it from you but never sent you questions, so for the book rec asks: 1, 13, 23, 44, 50, 54, 79, 92, 116, 130, 131 please!! thats A Lot, so feel free to pick and choose haha

ahhh thank u bean! i love talking books uwu

coming back up after answering to edit... um. bean, i'm so sorry for my answer on the last one xD i should have picked a different book. (i ranted. a little.)

1. a book that is close to your heart

there are a few books i could name, but i'm going to do the one i thought of first.

a girl of the limberlost. i only remember reading it once, but my mother is the one who gave it to me, and told me that it was a book she loved at my age at the time. (same with the secret garden.) so i can't think of that book without thinking of her, which makes it a little bit more special to me <3

13. your favorite romance novel

immediate impulse is to say legends and lattes by travis baldree bc. it's so good. however, while there is a romance i don't know if i would count it as a romance novel.

so.

the lady's guide to celestial mechanics. historical, sapphic, featuring both women in STEM (or, yknow, historical equiv) but also an appreciation for domestic arts / crafts normally looked down on. also there's an acknowledgement that homophobia existed, but there's none on page.

the prose is also gorgeous.

i don't actually read a ton of romance novels, but i've been trying to pick up more!

23. a book that is currently on your TBR

mmm, too many

but Our Wives Under the Sea - Julia Armfield went on sale on kindle the other day so! it's mine now <3 and one i've been eying for a while. the kindle cover isn't the one i wanted, but that's okay.

44. your favourite fantasy novel

a very large chunk of what i read is fantasy. this is HARD 😂

uhhh.

the locked tomb is technically sci-fi, isn't it?

fuck.

i'm gonna go with The Last Unicorn - Peter S. Beagle bc it is the only book i purposefully own more than one copy of! would love to get my hands on the graphic novel <3

honorary mention to the Inheritence Cycle bc reading Eragon was what got me to start writing my first novel.

which absolutely wasn't just. Eragon but with griffin riders instead.

(okay, legitimately, there were differences, but there was also definitely heavy inspiration.)

50. a book that made you cry a LOT

i don't actually cry at much? the last time i remember actually crying was when i was reading an abridged version of little women and beth died xD

i'm trying to think of another book which really grabbed me emotionally recently that also isn't. already on this list. and i'm coming up empty?

54. a book with the best opening line

i don't have a good memory for opening lines ^^; however for some reason i want to say The Lightning Thief, so. that's what i'm going with.

79. a book that reminds you of your favorite song

my favorite song changes by the moment, so i don't have answer for this one ^^;

92. a book about a redeemable villain

kay, so i almost answered this question with the book i gave for the next question, but i realized i don't? read a lot of multi pov books?? or at least not that i remember being such. i did remember one but it was the second in a duology, so.

so.

anyway!

the closest i can think of atm would be Empress of Forever by Max Gladstone. (highly rec this one, though i was a little disappointed when the pairing i wanted didn't happen xD)

116. a book with multiple povs

The Stars Are Legion by Kameron Hurley.

this book.

i.

woof.

okay, so. if you are. remotely squeamish, like. at all? you might wanna give this one a pass. (def check storygraph / other places for trigger warnings. im also happy to elaborate myself, lol.) i am. very squeamish, and made it through only because the story grabbed me tight and wouldn't let go. the worldbuilding is extremely interesting. the characters are all very different and both likeable and unlikeable in a million different ways. but.

oh boy, it was a tough one.

if you're NOT squeamish, though--

it was a 4 or 5 star read for me, iirc, so, y'know. recommended. not sure i'll ever pick it up again, but like. do not regret reading.

130. a book featuring flashbacks and/or intersecting storylines

i know i've read others like this, but the book that comes to mind is--and i had to google this bc it's been so long since i read it---Thirst by Christopher Pike. It was also published under "The Last Vampire." i don't actually recommend them; i read them during my middle school vampire phase and even i remembered being a little mindboggled. mainly bc i think there was an alien abduction in... the second or third book? idk, i had an omnibus.

131. recommend any book you like!

there's only one answer i can give to this, tbh. the locked tomb series brainrot is real and deep and i am. both highly anticipating and dreading the release of alecto so.

i gotta recommend Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir.

that SAID, i am well aware that this book has a reputation on tumblr esp for being poorly summarized, as the most oft-used pitch is "lesbian necromancers in space."

this is not an inaccurate summary.

BUT.

it is also not complete.

so first, some expectations: it's sci-fi, definitely, but also there are a lot of fantasy vibes? probably because of the swords and the necromancy and the sworn knights-esque plot. uh. basically, it's sci-fi like star wars is sci-fi, but also it's. it's not star wars.

second thing: this series is unreliable narrator central. tamsyn picks the least qualified person in the group for you to follow the story with, and it works. so well. like, firstly bc ofc things get explained (some; it does drop you in and expect you to pick up a lot through context clues) but ALSO because you WILL pick up things you didn't on re-reads. i did a reread before Nona and spent half of it screaming. i'm not much of an annotator beyond highlighting some lines on kindle but i was commenting all over the place.

uh.

i still haven't talked about the plot, my bad.

Gideon the Ninth follows the titular Gideon, after her childhood nemesis and heir to the Ninth House, is invited to the First House by the God Emperor of the Nine Houses to seek quasi-immortality and join him in fighting a war as old as the Houses themselves. When they get there, though, they soon find their fellow heir-and-cavalier pairs being picked off one by one.

this book also features a lot of gay... not pining, not really, but like. Gideon likes women and her pov spends a lot of time appreciating the other women with them xD (this is also part of what makes her unreliable as a narrator. plot? what plot? gideon is here for thirsting, and a little bit of pining.)

also mild enemies to lovers vibes.

ALSO there are memes. there's a none pizza left beef joke in book 2, i'm still not over it.

does get a little squicky at times with loving descriptions of bones and viscera, though.

if i keep talking about this book i won't ever stop <3

[ book recs ask game ]

[arsenicflame]

hi i'm really interested in space lesbians! where are they, who are they? how can i see them? (shows, games, books?) also what are you most excited about in s2 of ofmd?

OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY

soooooo my space lesbian enthusiasm refers to 3 separate medias!! (it used to say gay space vikings bc that was an even more specific niche buuuut im way more into tihylttw these days s o) one day i am going to make a fuckin venn diagram of my girls because they all have so many similarities. (loki/sigyn and angela/sera are basically the same characters change my mind.)

this is about to get real long bc im unhinged about them <3 10/10 would talk about them all day if the communities were there

our first space lesbians are loki + sigyn from the bifrost incident! TBI is an album by the band the mechanisms which you can find wherever you listen to music (youtube here) its a norse mythology inspired rock/steampunk-esque album and it is SO GOOD- it takes place on a train in SPACE in the format of an incident investigation. its a story so you have to listen to the tracks in order :)

--

next up! this is how you lose the time war- our lesbians in this are called red + blue because we have deconstructed this trope to its most basic format at this point :') its a short book, and you may be familiar with it as it went viral from a trigun fan tweet a few months back. (my url (and sewing blog url) are actually references to a quote from this book!) you can get it wherever you get books and id recc the audiobook if youre into that i am also in possession of the pdf if you wantto try before you buy.

tihylttw is a story told through the exchange of letters between two agents on opposite sides of a war- it usually gets described as enemies to lovers but id personally use rivals as i think it describes them better. the book is known for being incredibly poetic and sometimes pretentious in its writing and i just think its the most beautiful thing ever. lesbians do it better

honestly theres nothing i could say for tihylttw better than it could say for itself, i just adore the universe theyve built and i want to KNOW MORE. i love you and i love you and i want to find out what that means together

--

saving the best for last is my girls angela + sera. the most of all time. nobody compares to them for me. they consume me

angela + sera are from marvel comics and you can find my complete reading list here, but if im talking about them positively, im usually talking about one of the titular Angela comics, and more often than not queen of hel.

honestly i love the angela comics so much that im making myself speechless trying to figure out where to start. Angela falls into the asgard side of marvel comics, though she is a lot more fluid in her affiliations, her whole thing being that she deals in deals- nothing for nothing everything has its price. she is at times described as emotionless and is generally quite a stoic character, especially around strangers. the major exception to this is her wife, sera. seras one of marvels few canon trans characters and i think she is just so wonderfully written. shes witty and cheeky and doesnt take shit from anyone, even when it gets her into trouble- and oh boy does sera find herself in some predicaments! the angela comics are often just as poetic as tihylttw for me, theyll drop an 'as long as you are with me, i am not afraid' and ill need to go smother myself in a pillow for a sec. in QOH they adopt a daughter who is Also a lesbian, shes an alternate version of leah of hel and i ALSO adore her.

im desperately trying to avoid plot points but god. the main arc is 21 issues of smooching Shakespearean space angels what more could you want?

(through sera & angela we get a lot of heven lore and honestly that could be its whole own thing for me im SO fascinated.)

my girls are currently in comic hell, i am praying they will get something good soon 🙏🙏

--

and what am i most excited about for season 2? can i just say izzy? can i just say anne + mary? dude im so ready for some lesbians you have no idea actually you probably have a very good idea if you made it this far down. im incredibly excited to be seeing izzy get a favourable arc this season, im really hoping to see him develop relationships with everyone else, see him grapple with feelings around ed (actually im really hoping he chooses not to forgive ed. for growth) im excited to see whats gonna go down with his leg, im excited to see wtf is going on w ed + stede because i have no idea what the continuity is at the moment, im just excited!!!!!! i honestly dont think theres anything im not excited about everything looks so good so far

[starrrberry]

hii ash what is the phantom of the opera? ive heard of it and it sounds so fucking badass and i am Curious

okay. gonna write a rambly type essay. SUMMARY: so poto is originally a novel written by gaston leroux in 1909 set in france, centering a mysterious masked man, erik (aka the phantom, the opera ghost, angel of music) and a naive, kind girl who's ridiculously brave and selfless called christine. from now on ill be talking about the musical version as i am yet to read the book ! also, the pair have INCREDIBLE music ability - christine has the voice of an angel, and the phantom is incredibly skilled at many instruments as well as have the kinda voice that probably wouldve awoken smth in me when i was ten. -christine is an orphan, her father died when she was.. eight? ish. and shes just very sad and lonely. -when her dad died, he said he'll send a angrl of music to her -erik is super super obsessed with christine and kinda stalks her. but -shes like kinda chill with it at the beginning and she even follows him into his lair? which like okay you go girl or smth. -but then she finds out oh shit !!! hes kinda freaky man. and she faints <3 -if erik had his way he'd probably just force her to marry him, but problem! -another man, raoul, who is christines childhood bestie, is here. and -hes in love with her! christines also in love with him, but imo its only because he reminds her of her father (woop woop daddy issues) -THINGS HAPPEN and i cried. just trust me on this idk how to do summaries. CHARACTERS: erik - MY BOY !!!!!! hes so traumatised and he was abused a lot because he was born with a facial deformity and nobody ever touched him ever. so he just grew into this really angry, resentful but also strangely hot dude. he gets a MILD mild redemption at the end of the movie/musical, and hes the most pathetic silliest sewer man in the world im so so obsessed with him. hes a really complex character and i could get into it but i wont because its 12am. christine - in the musical/kinda movie, shes portrayed as very meek and mild. however shes really brave and kind of a badass! like "this haunted face holds no horror for me now. its your soul in which the true distortion lies" um okay?? callout i love that. shes not wrong, his soul is fuuuucked. poor boy. her mother died in childbirth, her father died when she was young, shes alone in the world apart from a scarily hot stalker whos teaching her to sing, and shes a ballet rat in the opera populaire. ill delve more into different interpretations of her in different media. raoul - pretty rich boy. also christines childhood best friend and suitor. my boy has no thoughts in his head i was him for world book day.

meg giry - christines current best friend! shes so cool in the movie shes a side but shes loyal, brave, and probably a lesbian. also shes cares so sososo much for christine im just. ough. la carlotta - they hate to see a girlboss winning :( shes literally done nothing wrong ever i adore her shes so extra and such a bitch aa <3 there are more but the first three are the most important

DIFFERENT MEDIA: theres a movie (2004) which stars gerard butler as erik and emmy rossum as christine who are both SO OSOSOSOSOOSO PRETTY !!!!!

in the movies, erik is portrayed as quite suave and dramatic, as well as agressive and fiercely obsessive. basically, the same as how he's portrayed in the rest of the media. also ! his name isnt included in both the movies or the musical. its also very aesthetically pleasing speaking of ! theres also a musical which is pretty well known, written by andrew lloyd webber. i would say my favourite actors, but it may be a little doxxy, so i'll refrain. however, i will say that sierra boggess, one of favourite christines is WOW ! she's fiesty and seductive, not as mild as the other portrayals. thats why i love the musical version, one because it is MAGICAL to watch irl and two becuase you can play around witht the characters to fit your eye. theres a book, which gives more insight into erik's past, and also several adaptations of the novel, the most notable being susan kay;s "phantom" CONTROVERSY: i will say that the toxic relationship between christine and erik is heavily romanticised, christine experiences a lot of stockholm syndrome (shes also swedish!) and she just has a Bad Time. however. its fiction and my taste in men is fucked up beyond belief! but many people dont see it that way since erik is a kidnapper/murderer, people are NOT happy that he is shipped and loved by so many people. but like man we know ! if this happened in real life we'd be outta there like a shot, if this was a REAL PERSON we would NOT be doing this! its ridiculous to me that so many people cannot grasp that this is fiction, an escape from the rules of the real world. CONCLUSION: its more than just a romance, its a study of so many different things, like how trauma can affect different people, how growing up in certain types of environments can shape a persons life. its more of a tragedy really, not a romance as much, so if you like media which leaves a hole in you only fanfic can fix this is def for you. if you want to get into it, i recommend starting with the musical or movie, probably the musical. i didnt do it justice with this ramble, honestly its incredible and theres endless interpretations and endings (i havent even mentioned the book!)

also all the songs slap and theyre majority operatic but modern!!!!!!!

[basiltonpitch]

26, 28, 57, 74, and 77!!!

oooh thank u ayla!!!

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? nope, i dye my hair pretty regularly and almost never have my natural color showing lol. rn i have arctic fox ritual over my natural brown so it's like a burgundy color but its fading a bit so i need to touch it up!!

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? a tiktok sketch thing of a guy pretending to be an old redneck whos selling a van on facebook marketplace. it was very accurate and also very funny that man deserves to win an oscar for that performance

57. Do you believe in ghosts? i don't believe in them but like. i don't not believe in them. i don't know if that makes sense. like when presented with a story about ghosts or a documentary or whatever i'm 100% a skeptic like "that shit isn't real" but the second i'm in spooky situation im like. there's ghosts there's got to be ghosts i am being haunted

74. What is your favorite book? ooooh actually i don't know?? i love so many books so picking a fave is so hard omg BUT i will say the 3 books i read in the past year that i absolutely loved were the final girl support group, the lost apothecary, & cemetery boys!!!

77. Ever been in love? yeah but it was like. the codependent toxic high school girl best-friendship where at times the lines between platonic and romantic blurred so much that you didn't even really know what you were feeling until you reflect back on it years after the fact and then decide to write a whole bunch of poetry about that particular friendship to get those feelings out bc u will never feel them otherwise and sometimes u still check her instagram just to see how she's doing and u think about messaging her and u type out exactly what u wanna say in ur notes app and end up deleting it bc it doesn't matter anyways bc she moved on and she never loved you like you loved her and it's been seven years since you were even friends anyways and you don't know who she is anymore and she doesn't know who u are and at the end of the day it's better to just. try to forget about the love u felt for her when u were sixteen bc ur about to turn 24 and so is she. and the love isn't even really there anymore well it is but it changed shape it's a bittersweet nostalgic kind of love not that all-consuming kind of love u felt back then. but u still feel it and it still hurts and u dont know if it will ever stop

i went a little off the rails with that last one sorry but thank u <3

ask game

[secondbetrayer]

get to know the author!

name: laur, though I’ve gone by different aliases over the years! I’m bad at sticking to just one djhdjhd but laur I think is the one I’m set on for good

pronouns: overall I don’t mind that much but prob like he/him best and that’s what I use on my main blog

preference of communication: d’cord or ims here

most active muse: lyra is currently the only active muse I have! no plans for any more as of yet, we shall see

experience / how many years: coming up to 14 years on and off, including 11 on tumblr oof

platforms you use: only tumblr atm but idk maybe I’ll take lyra to other platforms too in the future

best experience: it's impossible to single out just one experience, but i love making friends and getting to geek out with people who have similar interests! <- keeping this bc same!

rp pet peeves: the bots that keep following us all at the moment ejhdjxghgz

fluff, angst, or smut: fluff and angst. lyra is a small one in most threads but also I’m just bad at writing smut tbh and not comfortable with it, especially with other people involved djhdjhd

long or short replies: i can work with either! reading long responses can be so fun especially tho

best time to write: i often find myself writing in the early mornings not long after waking up and sort of mid afternoon if I’m not in work then. I find it more hard to write at night tbh

are you like your muse(s): I’m not quite a liar like lyra is - though I was more so as a child lmao - but I like to think I have a sense of humour like hers. I also like to think I’m brave like her, even if it’s not quite to the same extent. I also don’t fit into gendered boxes like she doesn’t (save the whole “I can’t wear trousers, I’m a girl” part in the book djdhjdh) I think overall she’s quite like I was as a child, just slightly more feral in nature djdhjdhd. adult lyra is probably more like me now, just a bit more angsty :(

stolen from @jurati <3

tagging: @mothersmalice @doctordonovan @toxicmalicex @viciousgold @evebeforethefall and anyone else who would like to! steal it and tag me!

[useryennefer]

lowkey wanna change to userciri 😶

[madisonbeersource]

oooh! talking ab booktok, i read it end with us n i was so disappointed. like i didn't get all the hype over it (or basically collen hover books). did u read it? rn im reading a little life and the heroes of olympus (rereading)!

omg i loved tsitp! the soundtrack was amazing. i think steven is underated. so now i must ask u, team jeremiah or conrad? i also watched heartsopper, it's so cute. personally im currently watching gilmore girls, b99, and never have i ever 3 (it just dropped today).

have a great day!

It ends with us .....I loved it, but because it was very clear to me that is it NOT a romance novel, it's a book about domestic violence, about how by either being the perpetrator of abuse or the one letting the abuse happen can destroy the one living with you because lily ...as strong as she wants to be in a healthy rls, she falls for the boy who had the same red flags as her own father and it broke me because we saw the downfall, we had hope ryle would be stronger than that but yet he r*ped & abused her & she saw it coming, the worst is in the end she saw the signs & she ignored it & SO MANY OF US do that bc we wanna believe, we wanna be loved. and the fact that lily was the representation of colleen's own mother & that her father was abusive like wow... no this book is a masterpiece BUT booktok romanticize it & it's sad bc it's a book about abuse, yes atlas is the cutest book boyfriend but honestly it's not what people on this website claim it is :/ like the end of the book says "You can stop swimming now, Lily. We finally reached the shore" like you can put down the fight, you're safe. LIKE????? WOW OKAY KILL ME NOW?? but i'm a colleen hoover's stan...i read several of her novels & honestly exept "Too Late" that I didn't like because it's a dark romance and I despise this genre i mean no worries to those who read it but i hate it w my whole heart but actually my first new romance book was from her and i think i never had my heart broken like this book it stays my favorite book & i always get teary eyed when i speak about it haha (sorry i'm a passionate type sdfgfds) but YES I DID READ IT ENDS W US & I read recentely we were liars that is SO POPULAR on there & honestly i liked it a lot!! i'm reading a emma green right now and it's HILARIOUS those womenn are literally the best!!

YES HONESTLY it's a cute show!! well steven kinda got on my nerrves tbh... like he's the first to denigrate belly cause she has "no life" but everytime she tries yet she does something he mocks her and yells at her, he makes out w belly's bff bc he was "insecure" about his current gf, and he knew about about it & yet he took advantage of it. He gaslighted at poker losing every pennies he owned sacrificing shayla's dream dance LIKE NO HE WAS ANNOYING MOST OF THE TIME sdfghgfd. AAAAH... hm for belly? i'd say Conrad cause they were in love for the longest time, she never looked at Jer the way she does w Conrad and he is an ass....like a real ass but I also understood that he knew of his mother dying from cancer and couldn't tell anyone so it was eating him alive like if the guy iloved was going through that i would have forgiven him sooo i'd say conrad BUT for me I had to admit that Jer IS REALLY CUTE like the golden retriever type and i like a man like that for me, the type i could die laughing with you know? & i love the fact he's so at piece w his sexuality you know?? and his eyes.......WHEW. Heartstopper is literally the cutest and i love this show SO MUCH!! ooo never watched those shows it's not my type even tho b99 has some banger scenes!!

[comrade-cabbage]

the lovely @vidibit tagged me to fill out this fun questionnaire! thank ya so much for the tag <3

Name: y'all can call me Cab, short for Cabbage! 💖🥬

Sign: Libra

Height: 6'2"

Time: as of answering this question specifically 11:52am

Birthday: October 16th

Favorite bands/artists: Florence and the Machine is my all time favorite and magnitudes above everyone else, but other favs include: Mitski, Carly Rae Jepsen, Rina Sawayama (SO excited for the new album, truly this year is the best year for my music tastes), and Stevie Nicks!

Last movie: Sailor Moon Eternal, the sailor moon crystal movie!

Last show: I honestly cannot remember anything after I watched the first two seasons of the chilling adventures of sabrina (the second season had just came out)

When I created this blog: Late 2014, I got it in junior year of high school!

What I post: normally i just reblog joke posts but I've increasingly upped my art content on here i noticed the other day

Last thing I googled: "questionaire" so google would correct me so I knew how to spell it 100% correctly (see top of post for why i needed that word)

Other blogs: none really, I have a dead aesthetic blog i made in like 2015 and stopped posting to in 2016 and a blog that's just my old url in case i wanted to switch back after becoming comrade-cabbage

Do I get asks?: not a ton, but not zero! in these last few months i've gotten more than i ever did, but very few anons (that are actually a mystery to me who sent em) and most asks are responding to "submit X to me to tell me whatcha feel or to ask a question!" prompts

Following: 688, but I regularly go unfollow inactive blogs so it's only really people who are around!

Followers: 2,232 (which is funny cause i vividly remember in 2016 one of my friends describing her friend's blog as "about to reach their next thousand!" in response to them having like, 1,900 and my mind was BLOWN about how many followers that was and now im completely ambivalent towards that number now that i have it lmao)

Average hours of sleep: tom im blocking you for this questions >:(, but averaging 4-5 hours lately! very much an issue ive almost had for a year now....

Instruments: I played trumpet in high school and i very much hated every moment of it. it was loud and i was anxious and truly did not fit in at all with the section, i very much made a mistake lmao

What I’m wearing: my dark grey n64 tshirt, dark blue pajama pants, and my lil hand brace :3, very much not doing much today and did not dress up lmao

Dream job: i'm hoping to one day work at a library as a librarian!

Dream trip: absolutely going to visit all my best friend's cities and then showing them the pics i took while i was there and delighting them being confused why i didnt tell them i was in town!

Nationality: american.

Favorite songs: currently: "Hold The Girl" by Rina Sawayama, "Daffodil" by Forence and the Machine (song of the year and maybe my life), and "Alien Superstar" by Beyonce :3

Last book I read: i reread my favorite book, "The Awakening" by Kate Chopin!

as for who i'd love to tag: @forxstboyfriend, @skiingcows, @penismage, @toxic-kombucha, @themissingaddams, @dizzolving, and @antacidsnakethe2nd!

[oscar-lettjohanssonloveme]

"And I’m damn proud of you, because you survived another day." (Ms. Venable x reader,

hiyaa :3 i wrote this yesterday while we were stuck in traffic...so idk lol

summary: You are depressed coz of the apocalypse and your girlfriend wants to help you..idk i’m bad in smt like that :’)

warnings: depression, talking about suicide, pills

“momma im in love with google translate”

"Maybe I'm going crazy now, but I saw a young woman in the hallway in front of the library last night", Mr. Gallant said  at the dinner tonight

Timothy just shrugged.

"It must have been some Gray who got lost", he muttered and stabbed the little cube in front of him with his fork.

Mister Gallant rolled his eyes.

"No I swear!", Replied the hairstylist. "I know all the Grays by now and I've never seen her before and she wore purple."

Stu, who was sitting next to the man, suppressed a laugh.

"You've probably seen a ghost, I said it's only a question of time before the first of us commits suicide."

"Or until Miss Venable killed everyone who didn't obey her rules", Coco added in a whisper and made the others laugh.

Unlucky Miss Venable wasn't deaf.

"What nonsense .." hissed the red-haired woman at the other end of the table.

"I promise you, the only ghost that will haunt around here is Mister Gallant's, should he wander around the Outpost one more time."

Immediately everyone stopped laughing and all eyes were on Miss Venable, who now stood up without a word to go out of the room.

"Or her ghost, if she continues to act as if we were her subjects ..", Coco mumbled quietly before she turned back to her 'dinner'.

------------

Miss Venable ran through the corridors of her outpost to get to her room.

What those idiots at the table had said worried her. Not because she cared about other people's opinions, simply because they were right. The thing with the ghost was just a joke, but it was, what you basically were...a ghost.

Ever since you first met before all of this, you had been struggling with depression and an apocalypse was unlikely to improve your condition. She had decided it was better if the other residents of the outpost didn't find out about your existence. Which wasn't a problem, because most of the day you were just lying in bed tired anyway.

"Hey princess .." she said gently as she entered your bedroom. Her eyes fell on you in concern. Like the days before, you lay buried in your blanket and the only thing what she could see was your disheveled hair, which had become greasy. One would have thought you would have been dead, had your chest not slowly raised and lowered again.

Mina closed the door behind her, before crossing the room to sit next to you on the edge of the bed. She carefully pulled the covers down to reveal your face. Without emotion, you stared with bleary eyes into the flame of the torch that hung on the wall.

"How do you feel?", Mina whispered and pushed a few strands of your hair from your face.

"I missed you ..", you answered in a dry voice and Mina could feel a pang in her chest when she heard it.

"I'm here now", she muttered as she put her hand on your cheek.

She looked sadly into your cloudy eyes and knew that you probably wished you weren't alive any longer.

You cleared your throat and turned your gaze to Mina. And Mina could see that you were trying to bring a small smile to your chapped lips.

"I took my pills .." you said and Mina's eyes lit up at your words.

"Thats great, princess!", she called and smiled lovingly at you.

"I'm proud of you."

"And I ate the cubes",  you added as you pull the blanket a little higher over your shoulders. "Even they were disgusting."

"You are such a good girl",  Mina muttered before bending over to press her lips against the warm skin of your temple.

"I'll have a quick shower before I get to bed with you",  she explained and got up to look at you thoughtfully.

"Do you want to join me?"

You looked at her for a few seconds with narrowed eyes.

"I look like shit don't I?" You finally said as you stood up with shaky legs and held onto her arm, which she held out to you.

"Don't say that", Mina replied as she led you into your bathroom. "You are beautiful as always, Princess".

Together with Mina's help, you manage to shower. It was unbelievably exhausting for Mina to stand so long without her cane and the fact that she now also helped you to wash, bordered on a miracle.

After both of you showered and dried your hair, you climbed into your bed and you could finally curl up in your girlfriend's arms.

"I forgot to ask how your day was".  Mina heard you whisper in the dark while rubbing her hands over the bare skin of your back.

She pondered briefly what to answer you. Her day had been shitty. Those selfish, rich assholes were just annoying.

"My day was okay", she mumbled and suddenly she remembered the conversation at dinner.

"Why didn't you tell me, you were in the library last night?" She added without sounding reproachful.

"How do you know that?" You asked confused as you started to play with the hem of her purple nightgown. When Mina didn't answer you continued.

"I wanted to read last night so I went to the library to get a book."

Mina hesitated a few seconds before answering. Somewhere it was great, you had left your room for the first time in weeks, but on the other hand she disapproved the thought of you, wandering through the corridors of the outpost at night.

"You could have woken me up, I would have gone with you." she said finally.

"Did you at least be able to read?"

"I gave up after the first three sentences", you sighed.

"It was just too much."

Your girlfriend wrapped her arms around you a little tighter when she heard the regret in your voice.

"It's okay .." she hummed. "The only important thing right now, is that you survived another day. I'm proud of you princess", she muttered, suppressing a yawn before closing her eyes and falling asleep a few minutes later.

She told you that every evening.

---------------------

You had been in this outpost for almost two months and you got tired of waking up every morning with a fear of opening your eyes. Because a part of you still had the hope,that it was just a nightmare. But whenever you opened your eyes, instead of staring out of the window of your bedroom, you stared into the fire of the torch, thag hung next to the bed and all your hopes died.

You found yourself ungrateful and you could think of countless people, who would have deserved your place in the Outpost much more than you did. You weren't anyone and just because Mina was your girlfriend you were still alive. That was unfair.

Of course you could see how worried Mina was about you and you hated yourself for it. The world had come to an end and Mina, as the head of this outpost, paid her attention to you, the poor little wreck that couldn't even shower by itself.

You pulled the blanket a little tighter around your shoulders when a slight breeze made you shiver and sent goosebumps all over your body. It had been a stupid idea to leave your room again, but you had to promise Mina that you would take your pills and now you were looking for the kitchen, if there was something like that here, to get a glass of water.

Usually Mina brought you these things and you couldn't blame her for forgetting today.

It was currently 10 p.m. and you were already in your pajamas while walking barefoot through the outpost to get some water.

"Oh my god. Gallant was right, it's haunted here", a shrill voice suddenly called from behind you and made you flinch. You turned slowly around and looked with narrowed eyes into the face of a blonde woman, who came up to you and stood in front of you with folded arms.

"Are you a purple?" She asked you frowning and you nodded curtly.

"And whats your name?" She asked further.

"Y / N", you mumbled and decided at the same moment, that you didn't like this woman.

"Well, Y / N, I've never seen you here before",

the blonde cocked her head and looked at you piercingly as

you looked away from her and looked embarrassed at your feet.

"I spend a lot of time in my room."

"Your room?" Asked the woman confused.

"Which room do you live in exactly? To the best of my knowledge, all of the rooms in the outpost are occupied. You can't have a room of your own-"

"I should go now", you muttered as you turned to move away from this annoying woman, but she grabbed your wrist.

"Just wait until Miss Venable finds out", she said, looking down at you smugly. "You know, she-"

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Mina's loud voice at the end of the hall made you both drive around to her.

The blonde immediately let go of your wrist and pointed with outstretched fingers at your trembling form.

"This is the woman Mister Gallant was talking about", she said and looked at you disparagingly.

"You see? It's not haunted here", Mina hissed as she approached you both. "As tightly as you have gripped her wrist, she can't be a ghost."

"I've never seen her here before, how is that possible?" Asked the annoying woman and you winced again when her shrill voice boomed in your ears.

"Maybe because your selfish ass is too busy with itself?", Mina funodded angrily at the blonde, who thought with open mouth what she should answer, but Mina got ahead of her.

"I think you should go to bed now, before you say anything you might regret later", Mina kept her voice lowered while she spoke and sounded dangerous at the same time.

The woman next to you looked at you and then at Mina one more time before turning and reluctantly went down the hall.

"Coco St. Pierre Vanderbilt", Mina said to you while she watched the blonde disappear into one of the rooms and you knew that she meant the woman's name.

"What are you doing here, princess?", asked your girlfriend and grabbed the hand that this woman, Coco, had just grabbed, to gently stroke the back of your hand with her thumb.

"I wanted to get some water.. you know, for the pills", you mumbled.

"And then this woman came."

"Go back to our room, it's cold," Mina cooed and gently squeezed your hand.

"I'll get you water."

"Thanks .." you said curtly and let go of her hand before turning around to go back to your room.

When Mina came to your room less than five minutes later, you were already buried in bed under your blanket again and only your head was sticking out.

"I've got your water", she muttered and walked across the room to put the glass on your bedside table. You mumbled a little "thank you", reached for the glass to wash down the pills.

As you drank, your eyes were glued on Mina, who crossed the room to lock your door and you could see her grimace with every step she took.

"You are in pain", you noticed shortly after you put your glass back on the table.

"Honey?" You kept trying as she ignored you.

"I'm fine," she growled without looking at you.

"Stop lying to me."

Again she didn't answer and just sat on the edge of her bed.

Worried you stared holes in her back while you chewed on your cracked lower lip. She always did that .. Whenever she felt bad and you noticed, she ignored you.

"Okay, come here", you sighed and climbed over the bed to sit cross-legged behind her.

"What is this supposed to be, Princess?"

Mina sounded confused when she felt you carefully pull the zipper of her dress down.

"I take care of you", you muttered and also pulled the zipper of her white lace blouse down to expose her back.

"Y / N, you really don't have to. I don't-"

"Shut up, Mina!", you growled and leaned over to take the lotion off her bedside table. You opened the jar to spread the lotion on your fingers.

"You let me know if I hurt you, right?" You whispered and when she nodded in agreement you carefully began to spread the ointment on her back.

The next minute was filled with a pleasant silence as you tried not to hurt your girlfriend and tried to be as gentle as possible. You usually did this for her every night, but for the past few weeks it had been canceled due to your health and it was obvious that she couldn't take care of it herself.

"How was your day, princess?", Mina finally asked quietly and you took a moment to think about her question.

"Better than yesterday", you said curtly while your fingers were still wandering over her serpentine spine.

"You know, everytime I close my eyes, I see faces of my friends and relatives and I wonder if this will ever end."

Mina hummed in agreement before speaking.

"I haven't had a lot of people I liked, but I can imagine how awful you feel. It may not be a comfort, but I think you will eventually get used to it."

"I don't know ,how I feel right now to be honest", you mumbled.

"Inside of me everything is so empty. I haven't shed a single tear in weeks, if you understand what I mean."

Mina nodded slowly and was about to say something when suddenly you wrapped your arms around her from behind and carefully leaned your forehead against her back.

"I don't know what I would do without you, Mina", you whispered against her skin. "And even if I'm not really showing it at the moment, I'm so grateful for everything you do for me and I love you so much."

"Oh Princess ..", Mina cooed gently as she turned around in your arms to press her lips against yours.

"I know that you love me and I love you too. And you survived another day and that's the only thing that matters at the moment."

-------------------

A few days went by and you were still a total mess.

One day you walked around the room and could tidy up something while other days you could just lie in bed and stare holes in the wall. Mina was still very worried about you and really wanted you to be fine. But she also understood that this was probably going to be difficult for you, as there was nothing to hold on to your hope.

It was already afternoon when she was on her way to your room to bring you something, that she hoped would help. And while one hand was protecting herself on her stick, she was holding the clear plastic jar in the other, that she wanted to show you.

"Hey little sunshine", she called when she came into your room to find you wrapped in her blanket. She frowned.

"Why are you lying under my blanket?"

"I missed you and the blanket smells like you", you grumbled as you pulled the blanket down to reveal your face. Your eyes wandered to the plastic can in Mina's hand.

"What's that?" You asked confused

Mina smiled as she walked over to you to sit next to you on the bed.

"This is for you", she muttered and you sat up to take the can, she held out to you in your hands.

Mina looked at you expectantly and watched with satisfaction as your eyes lit up when you recognized the contents of the box.

"Oh my god, Mina", you breathed and began to smile while your eyes stared fascinated at the red butterfly, that was fluttering around in the box.

"She came into the outpost two days ago and I had her checked for diseases", Mina explained as she brushed a few of your hair off your face.

"She is beautiful", you whispered and when Mina saw tears glistening in your eyes, she knew that it was the right decision to give you the butterfly.

"She is", she mumbled contentedly before reaching out to tap the wall of the can with her index finger.

"And do you see the little pearls, that lie in the corner on the sheet? Those are eggs, from which caterpillars will hatch at some point-"

"And then they turn into more butterflies", you finished and she nodded.

"Mina, that's great, if we do everything right, we will not only be able to save our species, theirs too", you said and looked at Mina with sparkling eyes.

"You absolutely have to show the others .."

"Oh no", Mina replied.

"The others would find it more disgusting than fascinating, so you should take care of them."

"I ugh- well, thank you", you smiled brightly at her and Mina was glad to finally see you smile again. She leaned forward to kiss you on the forehead before she put her arm around you and you could rest your head on her shoulder. And while she was watching the little butterfly like you, the smell of her lavender perfume suddenly rose to her nose and she frowned.

"Do you wear my perfume, princess?", She asked confused and of course couldn't see how you blushed.

"As I said, I missed you", you muttered.

"Please don't be mad at me, i know its weird."

"No! I think its cute", Mina said quickly uhd pressed another kiss on your hair.

"And i'm damn proud of you, because you survived another day."

[perqabeth]

first impression of your moots vs current ?

if i miss anyone watch me move to antartica, get plastic surgery and change my identtiy to gaston. including the ones im close close to😿

@shoyotime : you prolly alr know everythiung im gonna say bUTT ANYWAY,, we met on wattpad in the comments section lip bites and ngl i thougth u were like 18 or 20 then pls bc u sounded SO MATURE. and d9ont get mad at me but the first day (AS IN THE DAY WE FIRST MET YKYK NOT WHEN WE STARTED TALKINGON IG) when we gonna make gaso gang acc ykyk i thought you were kinda bossy goodbye i will leave now im so embrazzed I WAS STUOID AND ONLY 14 THEN OKAY hahahahhaa nervous sweats anyway BUT NOWWWWWWWWWWWW PHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ur like on of my (even my only, maybe) closest friends or wtvr 😒😒😒😒and i l*ove and care abt you or wtvr 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 and you make me bvery very happie or wtvr 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 vvvv smort and sexc and HONEST!!!!!! person AND FUNNY ASF ty for existing smh and not dropping me and aleesha on the first day😟

@srkuv : thoughts r being thunk rn I DONT REMEMBER HOW WE MET HOLYYYYYYY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT i think it was on ig when u were added to gaso gang gc?? or was it on wp?????? I KNOWI MET YOU THRU INEZ????? first child: smal impression.... wAIT *FIRST IMPRESION: SMOL CHILD 🤡🤡🤡 must protecc vv sweet :( okay uwu,, it hasnt changed much 👍ur still my smol childn't but ur like mature for your age!!! and like sm0rt ngl, still muct proteque but you can fight anyone you want. you arent afraid to say what you want!! mwah mwah

@maipxilia : MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MY FAV CHOILD OMG SCreams okay okay ngl when i first met you/saw you on my dashboard bc we had the same moots ykyk i thoguth you woulkd be 16 or smth PLEASE also hoLY SHIT PRETTAY ASS BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH AND HELLAAAAAAAAA FUNNY OMG. AND?#$%^& YOU READ RIORDAN BOOKS TOO T A S T E I TELL YOU. current imp: maia my beloved ilusm you like my typos :(((((( DO U KNOW HOW HAPPY THAT MADE ME B R O I ALMOST TRATED CRYING did i tell u i ranted abt that on my spam twt acc l0l ,, YOURE SO PRESHUS TOO MAN I CANT BELIEVE MAIA IS REAL but im so glad she is omg MAIA BEST GIRL OMLY OMLY ONLY shes so NICE AD SWEET AND chaotic sweet and awesome pls i want to cry and cradle you and protect yo form everything mwah maiko my QUEEN,, not saying i would drop everything just for you but... thats exactly what im saying 💘💘💘💘

@mysterystarz : novAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OMG HI QUEEN <333 hru ☺🤲 i thought you were really really sweet and sophisticated when i first ur blog omg AND UR WORKS???? CHEFS KISS EVERYTHING TO ME she writes so well omg i cannawt. vv nice too and loves akashi a lot pls. i still think you're very VERY VERY sweet and awesome AND CALMING BRO ur so so nice i cannot stress rhat enough :((((((( another person who's very very precious ok an angel i tell you AND ALSO ERY FUCKING PRETYY LIEK WTF...... MA;AM HAND IN MARRIAGE??????

@sumerag1 : ri 😕😕😕😕😕 you CLOWN when i first met you i thought you were only here for may and didnt wanna talk to anyone else yk 😀👌 also i thought u were not very good at texting bye,,, BUT YOU HAVE A WAY WITH WORDS THAT MAKES ANYONE FEEL COMFORTED AND WANTED????? MA'AM HOW. now omg ilysm ur so FUCKING N I CE you always text me first anf :((((( check up on me :(((((( aND ME FEEL APPRECIATED OKAY ILYSM THIS WORLD DOESNT DESERVE YOU RI BEST GIRL AGENDA also omg supreior headcanons i must say

@kodzukoi : KOI KOI KOi KOIIIIIIIII you came in my ask box right1!!!!!! PHEW IF U DID IM SO GLAD BC UR SO :(((((((((((((( AWESOME MAN YOU MATCH MY ENERGY >:))))))))))))))))) AND UR SO NICE TO TALK TO i thoguth you were like vv calm and laid back and stuff at first AND U ARE!!!1 BUT LIKE MORE CHAOTIC I THINK :DDDDD UR SUPER COOL 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 EVERRYTING YOU DO >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

@elitparadox : omg ele loml hi you are so nice!!!!! and calm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and you seem liek the mom friend who always showers her chirren w love and grounds everyone yk??? BUT UR STILL SO SO FUN AN DYOU HAVE SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE I LITERALLY WANNA CRY :(((((( YOURE SO SO SO SWEET I CANNOT breaksdown i swear you make everyone feel loved :((((((((( I HOPE UR GETTING THE SAME IN RETURN BC U DESERVE THE SAME OKAYU ur so loving i cannaut stop sayng that <33333

@sakusaxwindex : girl youre literally m ycousin...... um annoying ass mf dont knwo who she is bullie <///3 but the only person i tr*st or wtvr 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 smh #vros💯✨ or wtvr 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 only cusin i genuinely l*ke and look forward to or wtrv 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 smh r0t

[lover-of-trash-and-people]

bittersweet netflix shadow and bone finale (s1 e8) rewatch; accoutrement: white wine with ice cubes in it (no YOU'RE a mom drink shh)

my wine's like fruity I love her

light and darkness title card we love to see it

Inej looking at Alina before she goes below deck to hide <3

okay that 'what can you really do on your own' was like not fun that shit hurted

okay but Jesper's 'not enough'? <3

oh no my baby Zoya's first inkling that Darkles does not really care

omg Helnik just appeared and I remembered how much heartbreak I have to face in this episode

gods I love Danielle as Nina so so much

'this can't be it' said she with her pleading smile with downturned eyebrows MA'AM I-

don't break my dumb little heart

I might hate Calahan's little accent but they're making me tear up

oh gods I literally cannot keep a hold on myself when Dani's accent bleeds through with full force, it's like she comes more alive or smth

'I will keep you warm' SIR WHAT-

I am surprised they showed a leaning in for a kiss so soon but I'm not mad about it

her little eyebrow twitch at 'what are waffles'

when that rando said 'i hunt slavers now' a dread settled into me because I knew what was about to go down

Matthias looking somberly at the stuffed wolf's head </3

I am so incredibly entranced by this exchange between Fedyor and Nina and what it represents, it's very interesting that they pushed up their storyline to match with the timeline

damn it's kind of jarring to be back in the Fold

'REMEMBER WHO'S DRIVING'??!!!! *you better stop* meme, *i am, disgusted* meme, *oh wow, oh wow* meme

Mal you fucking idiot you could never take the crows by surprise

the music rising as Kaz starts explaining his thought process, fucking perfection

haha Mal bitchass Inej caught you

'Because if he isn't with Kirigan's crew, he's with ours' WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED

'And why would we destroy the Fold? It's the greatest weapon we've got' valid point at the moment but you know I don't necessarily agree with your methods

the use of the light tunnel in the show instead of Alina just being a super flashlight in the books is quite an interesting addition as well

is this an inappropriate time to point out how pretty Ben Barnes is

okay I kind of love the depiction of the shadow powers okay sue me

'they are traitors who tried to kill you' why are you suddenly making valid points despite having kind of committed low scale genocide

'i never said I was smart' YES MAL BE THE VOICE OF HIMBOS EVERYWHERE

Kaz's face going from 'can you believe this idiot' at Mal to 'fuck me I'm gonna do the same thing aren't I' at Inej

'For who would oppose us now?' *himbo romantic rival appears out of nowhere and shoots at him* god I love this show

him standing calmly in his ridiculous all black attire after nodding at his soldier to stop the himbo in his tracks, i fucking can't

could she summon light without the Darkling making her after he put the collar on her until the uhm moment in the books? idts but in the show she can hmm

'only because I'm not in the game' you tell him Jesper

not me snickering at 'you'll be seen not as a saviour, but as a heretic' LMFAO

'Shame. I'll have to give that speech again now.' THIS SHOW IS A FUCKING COMEDY AND YOU CAN'T PROVE ME WRONG

YES LET'S FUCKING GO SULI SOLIDARITY

Darkles casually whipping the Cut out like a shuriken or a throwing knife at Jesper because he shot at him lmao I can't

INEJ FUCKING GHAFA STABBED ONE THE OLDEST AND MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE IN THAT WORLD AND THAT IS VERY TELLING OF HER POWER

that moment where you actually think that affected him despite having read the books and watched the show

and then he has to go and fucking say 'it will take more than this' and I can't be help but be a little bit impressed at this old fool's resilience

throwback to when he said 'the king is a child' sir you make some valid points sometimes and it does make it difficult to hate you

I would just like to inform everyone that it is currently 6:09 am IST and I am sipping my second mug of wine while watching netflix sab for the second time instead of doing my three papers that are due tomorrow

I'm sorry but Inej jumping to check on Zoya after she gets knocked over by the volcra? first class display of solidarity and sisterhood as well as Inej's inherent kindness

Kaz jumping in front of a FUCKING VOLCRA AND STABBING IT WITH HIS CANE to save Inej, you best believe love is true, kids

god the volcra are so ugly and gross, they did such a good job with them

they kind of remind me of these creatures (I think they might have been called Hollows or smth) from the Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children movie

STAG VISION TIME

despite my dislike for the callous nature with which the stag plotline was handled, I kind of dig the stag vision scene

'It's just me and you now, Alina. And we're all we need, anyway.' I actually feel bad for this old fool simping for this wonderful gorgeous powerful woman despite lying to her and manipulating her and exploiting her power

okay 'I never needed you' *stabs the bone fragment out of his hand* beautiful power move I fucking love you so so much

alright ben looking like ✨ that✨ not only in physical pain but also emotional pain at what the Darkling clearly considers another betrayal from this girl he wants to give the world and maybe? loves? maybe? or at least has feelings for makes my fucking heart hurt while simultaneously soar at Alina taking back control and reclaiming her power as her own and stepping into her own

'how do you claim such power' okay could have had better dialogue there writers

the fucking score lifting as she says 'you cannot claim what was not given to you' good people my heart is full

one day I'll talk about my defense of the chosen one trope because god damn I kind of love it

hmm I wonder was that brief hesitation that we saw on Alina's face due to her thinking about the 'you chose to betray our people' comment or the 'i was trying to save us' comment because that will define some of her actions in the later seasons (hopefully god if we get some, I honestly don't know what with this stupid brownface debacle)

I'm not saying talking about brownface and pointing out that it is wrong (for further context, I am actually brown) and harmful is stupid btw I'm talking about the incidents involving brownface in question

I don't wanna talk about this anymore but I might feel like I need to and end up posting about it idk

goodness Ivan actually believing in this cause makes me so sad because he too has been victimized by the system that ostracizes Grisha and he has every right to feel the way that he does

Ben actually fighting in that ridiculously heavy cloak and kefta when he's about to turn 40 this year makes me super impressed because I as a 19 year old sometimes wake up with muscle pulls after weeks of inactivity it's weird idk

also I understand that this Mal Darkling fight is completely fanservice and serves nearly no purpose to the plot in general but like I? love it?

'I don't have to kill you Darkling. Your past will do it for me' YES HIMBO GO OFF YOU TELL THAT OLD MAN GODS THAT WAS SEXY AS FUCK

maybe it's because I know Darkles will survive and will come out of it more powerful but I can't get myself to feel bad for him at the moment

Inej and Mal tearing up at Alina's condition made me almost feel something despite it being super obvious she was gonna be fine and save their asses at the last moment

HER POWER

a solitary Kaz in spotted on the western side of the newly expanded fold in his signature all black emo boy look

okay but the crows with zoya and malina is such an adorable team? I literally love them so much?

INEJ'S FUCKING SMILE AT ALINA GIVING HER THE DAGGER AND KAZ LOOKING AT HER AGSGSGSHSJSJSK MY HEART CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE

SHE KNOWS JUST WHAT TO NAME IT WELL GIRLIE I KNOW IT TOO AND MY FUCKING HEART IS LITERALLY GONNA BURST

okay I know they had one interaction but Mal and Jesper would be besties in another universe

Kaz glaring at Jesper when he answers ''course not' to Alina's 'will you still be trying to kidnap me?' tell me one fucking adaptation that got the dynamics between characters this perfectly

okay why do I love that Alina kept the jewellery as maybe a small nod to she has the wits to, um, you know, I don't wanna say steal, but, um, yeah, steal it because she knew she would need money to survive on the run

oh Jessie I love you so much I wish you hadn't said those things on you ig story about the brownface

it's like every single celeb I grow attached to god's like nope that one is going to do or say something problematic (hey btw im not reassigning blame to god for stuff people have done out of their own free will, 'twas a joke)

AAAAAAAH them saying 'the deal is the deal' in the show even though they didn't have to but like they did and I love them for it

Inej literally not being able to not stare at Kaz's face and smile after this <3

'I didn't expect it to burn at all. But it can be destroyed in the end. Just like him' babe you're not wrong but like um just you wait

god Mal being on supportive boyfie mode is well, absolutely adorable, obviously, but I wish we got to see more of him as a person outside of his attachment to Alina

kaz my little demjin I wish you hadn't have had to suffer so much to meet the crows and find your calling

fastforwarding Zoya's arc is also an interesting choice to me

I wish the hug hadn't been done though, it didn't feel earned

maybe Alina awkwardly and half-heartedly (remember, at this point the alliance is fresh and they still don't entirely trust each other) reached for a hug and Zoya avoided her? and then the rest of Zoya's lines followed? that would have made more sense to me at least

I love Sujaya as well, she brought life into Zoya with whatever little screentime and scraps of writing she got

inej asking kaz 'what's your angle?' beep bop bleep morp I sense another incoming embarrassing love confession

'but we do need you' *stares at her face intensely* 'I need you' ah look at the clock, look's like it's time to screech and flap your arms like you're a volcra because you're incapable of containing your emotions

NO YOU CAN'T GO DIRECTLY FROM KANEJ PROGRESS TO HELNIK BREAKUP (TEMPORARY, MIND YOU)

helnik my loves you don't deserve this I'm so sorry for both of you

Matthias fucking smiling ruefully while he says 'this was... just a cruel joke all along' THIS IS NOT FUCKING OKAY

omg hellgate

AAAAAAAAH NINA IS ON THE SAME FRAME AS THE OG CROWS I CAN'T HANDLE THIS

CAMERA PAN FROM KAZ SAYING 'JUST HOW THIS ALL STARTED... WE'RE GONNA NEED A HEARTRENDED' TO NINA OVERHEARING HIM AND LOOKING OVER?????!!!!!! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING THIS TO ME?!

Nina genuinely being curious as to the status of the sun saint because she obviously still cares

Also, 'But she is a Saint' okay Kaz trying to earn brownie points you have succeeded

DID THAT SAILOR JUST SAY 'GOED MORGEN FENTOMEN' TO MALINA BECAUSE I AM NOT OKAY WITH THEM JUST THROWING THAT IN MY FACE ALL OF A SUDDEN

gods I know I'll probably see them again but my heart is full of sorrow as my eyes drink in the sight of my crows for the last time for a while

I know people were annoyed at the meadow flashbacks but guess what? as a darklina, I loved them

'now that the Darkling is dead' could have phrased that a little differently my dudes that line needed to hold more weight

am I glad that they showed Darkles in this state with his nichevo'ya as a tasty little cliffhanger despite not being entirely true to the source material? maybe but only because Ben Barnes saying 'follow' and the nichevo'ya doing exactly so sent a chill down my spine

well, that's it for now, I'll have to move on I guess, get back to my real life which I'm obviously not ready to do

thank you to whoever actually read these things

I probably should have just made reactions or commentary videos instead but I'm lazy

my tumblr will probably go into inactivity once more as I emerge from my stint in the grishaverse

it was quite short (less than 2 months), considering the length of my other obsessions but it was definitely more intense than the other ones

[bisexualoftheblade-old]

how many wips do you have? like what are they all, and not the number of wips in a fandom? what are all the names?

okay. fuck you. fuck you so much. fuck you.

i’m putting this under a read more cut no one else deserves to see this shit. a lot of these are requests, and for those i will just write out the request itself

Shadowhunters:

domestic polycule fluff with tem, jessa, and will because im not a coward

Supernatural

- hehe hoho i request destiel hehehe

- request 61/? cai cai cai cai i need you to rewrite the destiel scene but yk. GOOD. not like i'm in the know about the spn fandom or anything, it's been years for me. but DO IT

Bright Sessions

- caleb/adam grisha AU

- mark bryant vs. united states aka sue the AM

- caleb/adam college fluff

Umbrella Acaademy

- request 31/? i want a ben and klaus drabble please spare me some brotherly bickering

- AND SO BEGINS NIGHT 4 with request 13/? oooh oooh can i get a raymond and allison playlist??? i think their vibes together would SLAP

- hi there night 2 is technically morning 3 but who's counting not me anyway request 5/? can i get a ben moodboard? gotta rep my tua bb

Percy Jackson

- request 9/? can i get a percabeth moodboard or quote edit?? like god they're the og couple goals take me back to high school cai

- For the 100 follower things :D Jercy getting caught in the rain

- request 29/? a drabble about literally anything to do with pjo. i’ll be happy with anyone and anything i’m love these children

- *somersaults in like I’m a real fancy acrobat* hello ello ello may I request some camp half blood chaos possible involving *does a flip* ✨side characters✨ <3

Penumbra Podcast 

- request 52/? drabble about the penumbra podcast. this is for ren bc ren likes it and i don't actually know anything about it. juno? i think? that's the one ren likes. write it for ren

- Tpp ghost hunting / buzzfeed unsolved au

- sad juno smut

- final resting place fic go brrrr

Marvel

- request 6/? i'm going to my roots y'all can i get a spider-man playlist? if not a playlist then i'd honestly be happy with literally anything involving spider-man

- request 15/? i'm going crazy this is recorded evidence of me actually losing it ANYWAY can i get a quote edit for something from iron man? literally anything that man says is gold so cai's choice :D he deserved better in endgame i'm still bitter

- request 42/? do another spidey thing that differs from the other spidey thing

- request 73/? you have Opinions. rant about infinity way and/or endgame. go.

- request 74/? quote edit for deadpool!!

- spideytorch relationship character study

- peter parker as a tired grad student monitoring the young avengers (send help)

Six of Crows

- okay listen i wasn't going to request anything bc i worry about you but also? if you want to/have the time hit me with a playlist for our girl nina zenik

- request 43/? fuckin give me the ending anya should have had. she is alive and with her new son and having a great time

- request 45/? inej moodboard?

- request 47/? will you make literally any meme of your choosing for six of crows?

- request 48/? write a drabble for kaz, my favorite bastard

- okay so i don't actually like nina or mattias that much but i still wanna hear about your thoughts (and also see if you'll change my mind)

- kaz brekker turning 18 fic. birthday party, everyone singing, whole shebang. i need it stat

- religious trauma fic aka i started shipping kaz/alina/inej and i can’t stop

- kaz trauma soup (he has D.I.D. and you can’t prove me wrong)

- my two redacted fics for @grishaversebigbang​

- wesper fake dating

- six of crows bright sessions crossover: everyone gets therapy

TMA

- uhh... s1 gang having a nice time? melanie getting to have some Pride™️? some "fun" horror thing?

- request 7/? spare steph and jason bonding? please sir? spare some for a humble child such as myself?

- okay so this was meant for night 3 but i had midterm shit SO this is honorary night 3 let's DO THIS request 8/? i want a moodboard of extremely out of context magnus archives shit like i mean confuse the FUCK out of me i don't go here i know Nothing about it

- request 11/? OKAY so i need tim stoker meeting tim drake now i need my timmy to meet your tim plus i want to see character differences no i'm not trying to create a tim stoker in my head so i can read a's fic while NOT thinking of tim drake whaaaaaat you're crazy

- request 18(i think)/? i need a quote edit of every time within the first like. 15 eps of tam where jon is like “sounds fake but go off” thank u bb

- request 40/? i challenge you to write a tma drabble based only on the episodes i've heard. i'm currently halfway through episode 23

- Jon being lovingly bullied into taking a break. I'm aware this has been written a million times but it is one of my favorite things.

- spiral!sasha AU

- extinction martin go brrrrr

- high school era timsasha. they've both been friends for years, and everyone always asks when they will be a couple. they decide to fake date, to prove everyone wrong and show what a bad couple they would be. turns out that's a bit trickier than they thought

- after sasha comes back, tim is broken. he can't let go, scared that if he looks away for even a minute he'll lose her again. sasha suggests shibari as a way for him to give up control

- sasha pov mag 19 au, sacrificing herself to save the others, knows that if she gives herself up to the not!them it will let the others live

- this is the "tim finds a polaroid of sasha" trope

- early archives days,, long nights in research,,, clothes sharing,, somft. late nights and falling asleep at their desks warm and safe in the other's presence

- two parts: timsasha as kids, each picking a constellation that is "theirs". just soft kid antics. tim at sasha's grave glancing up to see their constellations

- continuing your job’s a joke (you’re broke)

DC Comics

- TIMSTEPH HADESTOWN AU,,,

- my redacted fic for @batfam-big-bang​

- request for you to get a decent amount of sleep? serious answer, dickkori, SAL's Venus

- request 4/? timsteph morning after 👀 mayhaps?

- a concept: nonbinary stephanie brown

- teehee hi mom, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but can i request damian angst for your accomplishments 100 followers?

- hi you can ignore my first request if you want, or you can ignore this one. but bls possibly write some bikini ra’s? -the bikini bitch

- request 27/? jay is asking through me for a jondami playlist but tbh i also want it so win win yk?

- "I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does" with bruce and jason? im just craving bruce being a good day to jason for once

- “I am putting you in time out because you need to understand the consequences of your actions.” with steph and jason as dumbass disaster bi best friends pretty please?

- request 32/? timsteph patrol date!!!

- request 33/? timsteph *gala* date? mayhaps??

- request 37/? tim drake drabble but make it Edgy cai

- request 39/? drabble of a prank war between tim and damian

- joyfire cuddly fluff please? or like just any outlaw fluff if joyfire isnt your thing (feel free to add every member of the outlaws, dont feel like u gotta stick with jason, kori, roy i love them all)

- barbara and robin! jason fluff? bonding over books or something?

- request 62/? i need a drabble about the chaotic trio jason, tim, and steph i'm love them ty

- request 63/? batfam x mcu crossover. batfam meets ironfam. give me ALL the cliches. ALL OF THEM

- request 64/? young justice x young avengers - jay cuz idk SHIT about the young avengers

- request 66/? jondami moodboard pls and ty

- request 67/? timsteph moodboard!!!!!!

- request 69/? HEHEHE kinky 😏 i would v much like a timsteph drabble of the almost first time. does that make sense? like i don't want you to go all the way NSFW cuz i know that's against the rules and i'm a rule follower. but like they *almost* go all the way. this could be fade to black or some shit i don't care just make it a lil steamy and have Fun

- i request damian angst! all of it

- hmm... maybe i request? jondami?

- mayhaps,,,,some batfam,,,,,committing crimes? ily be gay do crime <3 - lu

- How about a ficlet with Steph and Cass?

Found Family Bingo Prompts

- no powers au

- tunnel

- first day

- join the club

- hurt/comfort

- experiment

- playing favorites

- hold on

- possession

- 10 o’clock

- singing

- road

- snitch

- curfew

- timer

- fantasy au

- zombie au

- dreams

- campfire

- are you okay

- movie night

- games

- scared

Miscellaneous

- a request: Write A Drabble, Coward

- is it too late to request a moodboard for me?

- request 20/? i’m going off book because i’m in a Chaotic Mood™️ can you just absolutely vibe check me like go off cai demolish me

- request 21/? i formally request that you pick a favorite cai. i don’t care what that favorite pertains to, just pick a favorite something

- request 23/? roast me

- request 24/? can i have a buzzfeed unsolved spoopy playlist but spoiler alert it’s not spoopy bc shane doesn’t believe does this make sense it has been a Day™️

- request 25/50 i want a jake and amy fic make it Soft cai i’m love them b99 is so good

- request 28/? i know nothing about the lord of the rings so make something that will confuse the shit out of me

- request 34/? malvie and jaylos moodboards 😈

- request 35/? a moodboard for the bbb mods!! perceive all of us!!!

- request 36/? moodboard for the tua mods too???? mayhaps??

- request 41/? doctor WHO? idk but i want a drabble of him and the one character i know from doctor who which is rose

- request 46/? make an alignment meme with our group, have fun!!!

- request 49/? i want you to kin assign me a character from every fandom you can/want to. go feral

- request 50!!!!/? this is a special request. the most special request. can you make a bastards tbh playlist? i want our vibes encapsulated. i want us in music form. i want to hear those songs and be like "that's me and cai" and smile.

- requests 51/? i know jack shit about good omens. explain it to me in the most confusing way possible. make me know less by the end than i know now

- request 53/? can you write a mel aesthetic? i'm Curious

- request 54/? give me a list of book recs cai i want some good book recs pls

- request 56/? edit a picture of US together too

- request 58/? oooh can i have a disney edit? like. hm. i just really love disney and i want anything to do with disney. like a quote or an aesthetic or an aesthetic edit i just want disney.

- request 59/? i would v much like a recipe for carbonara. i've never had it but it sounds fucking delicious

- request 60/? ooh hey can i get a makeup tutorial? i know you like makeup, i'm shit at doing makeup. teach me

- request 65/? i need the most emo playlist you can make that vibes with dear evan hansen thank you

- request 68/? i want a superwholock moodboard. this can be serious, with the actual fandoms in mind, or literally what the era felt like. the insanity. the horror.

- request 70/? ooh ooh ooh do you have a good bread recipe?? i wanna get that bread

- request 71/? i want a playlist with the vibes of summoning a demon. please don't ask questions. i don't have answers. and if i do, no i don't.

- For the requests, how about writing something based on a friend?

- request 75/? MMMM i want literally anything to do with natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812

- request 76/? i want some healthy recipes. help a girl out

- a feral bbb quote or two?

- you perceive my plant but now I dare thee to perceive mine own visage

- okay this is a two for one request. 1. you did the bee movie script so now we need a shrek two script edit 2. sleep please

- Pansexual mb for my lil queer soul?

- my (probably) final request is just for you to ramble about something, i don't really care what

- HI ILY CONGRATS AS WELL CAUSE IM LATE BUT CONGRATS. could i request a pirates of the caribbean (or just pirates) or whatever you what to do, free range.

- mood board for the beluga whales who got brought to the animal sanctuary in Iceland please?

- 100 follower request: Moodboard for my stuffed cow Oaky?

[peachcitt]

okay, so style reference you say? I'm 👀

YES STYLE REFERENCE I SAY

this is going to be. a very long post i think with probably a lot of tangents and probably with a lot more thorough explanation than you could ever want but. here we go

because all of my theory/explanation posts end up So Long, i like to organize myself by keeping myself to a structure, and i also like to think if i put stuff in sub categories with bolded titles, people reading can skip ahead to the stuff they want if they're low on time or don't feel like slogging through everything. so here's the structure of the official Peach Style Reference Narrative

1. Early Days - how i started writing, my early inspirations, origins

2. Current Days - discussions of current style references plus examples and comparisons, discussions of original content versus fan content

3. Future Days - where i expect my writing to grow, trajectories i want, conclusory thoughts

without further ado, let's get into it!

1. Early Days

like i mentioned on the discord server, ive been writing creatively for. a very long time. i just turned 20 (like. literally today. we love to see it) and that seems very young, but i remember writing creatively when i was maybe six or seven, and before that i played with dolls a lot, which meant every day i was creating little narratives for myself. in addition to this - and this is probably why i started writing so young - i was (and am!) a very avid reader. i was that little jerk in elementary school reading chapter books and going into the older kids' section in the school library because i'd already mentally surpassed the books in the section meant for kids my age. so, basically, ive been writing for maybe 13 or 14 years at the least.

when i was young, my favorite books that i remember trying to copy in my own stories were: the magic treehouse books, harry potter, and percy jackson.

the magic treehouse

i honestly could not tell you which magic treehouse book it was, but i remember reading a specific magic treehouse book where the magic lady that left the treehouse for the kids sends the kids (jack and annie??) a note in distress, and she didn't get to finish signing her name because whoever had gotten her had interrupted her. it had been printed in the book with the ink on her name running.

i could not tell you anything else that happened in that book, but i can tell you that at some point in time soon after i read that book i started writing a story with an interrupted letter just like that. i loved the drama, the mystery of it all. i wanted to do something that was a little scary like that, a little exciting.

harry potter

harry potter isn't much of a style reference, but it was a huge impact of my childhood. truth be told i kind of hated the books when i was really young because i grew up watching the movies, and when i tried to read the books when i was in elementary school, the teenage angst that hits about book 5 simply Did Not make sense to me. i also find the language of harry potter to be super cumbersome, and sometimes it feels to me like the books are long just for the sake of being long. they have a huge cultural impact, but i feel the same way about harry potter's style as i do about dickens. cool and interesting, but, like, could you get to the point already? (and also my opinion of j.k. rowling has steadily been growing worse and worse over the years, for obvious reasons. harry potter is nostalgic for me, but i can't look at it now without thinking about it critically, which really lowers my opinion of it)

however, you could probably call my first fanfiction a harry potter fanfiction. i started it when i was maybe six or seven, and it was a rewrite of the chamber of secrets with my childhood best friend as the main character (she didn't know about it, i just had her as the main character because i thought she was cool). i of course never finished it, but harry potter probably did a huge part of planting that seed of magic in me. everything i want to write included some form of magic - although my perspective on what can be considered magic has steadily expanded over the years.

percy jackson

of all my childhood "style references" that still influence me to this day, percy jackson has got to be the biggest. for starters, it's magic. second, it's main themes are about friendship and family - things that i like all my stories now to always include. third - and most important - is the narrative voice.

in terms of narrative voice, percy has a huge personality. he's witty and snarky, but also very thoughtful and poignant. a lot of my early writing was in first person, and it's probably because of percy. also, percy jackson was the first fandom i really got into, and it was the first media that i started officially writing and posting fanfiction for. percy's voice is so clear and hooking, and i wanted to be able to write something funny and real like that.

also - chapter titles. the original pjo series is famous for its weird and hilarious chapter titles, and even though i didn't really start writing fics or stories that were long enough to need chapter titles until a while later, i loved the idea of putting in a chapter title that would make a reader laugh, or maybe even make a reader feel a little apprehensive about the events to come.

but back to percy's narrative voice. i loved that style, almost conversational, so much that i started thinking like it. when i wasn't doing anything, like walking home in middle school, i often found myself narrating my life in my head like percy would, trying to find that humor and spark in my every day surroundings. i still find myself doing that very often, but not necessarily in the classic pjo style. now i narrate everything in my head a little differently, but that practice narration in my early days really helped my shape my voice, i think.

other series i read when i was younger include: a a series of unfortunate events and the name of this book is secret. i don't remember seeing a lot of influence in my early writing from those books, but i definitely think the styles of those books hit me a little later, which i will talk about in the next section.

but, yeah. these were the big three of my childhood. i also read a lot of ya romance, children's mystery books, princess stories, and various types of fantasy, which i think you could probably tell from the genres i like to stick to now. except i don't write a ton of mystery because, as much as i admire the complicated plots, im not sure if i'd have the patience to plan all that out.

in terms of the rest of the genres, a ton of my earlier writing included classic ya romance and fantasy tropes - chosen girl, love triangles, angsty overpowered teens, etc etc. even though those kinds of stories are not necessarily the kinds of stories i want to write or read now, i think my early writing of those kinds of things was really valuable. it's kind of a dirty secret with finished or unfinished works generally considered 'cringe' - often that writer is a new writer, or they're trying something new, or they just haven't found their voice yet. all of those things are perfectly okay and normal, and a lot of people in the writing community preach that kind of thing, but i don't necessarily see people cutting new writers slack in actual practice. writing "overrused" tropes isn't cringe, it's normal, and, besides, what trope isn't overrused? people have been writing and telling stories for thousands of years - nothing is really new. what matter is that someone new is telling the story, and that's what makes it valuable.

so, yeah, a lot of my childhood writing is cringe to me now, but i wouldn't be where i am without it.

with that being said, let's actually look at where i am now

2. Current Days

im going to break this section down into two parts, sort of: original fiction and fanfiction. because i think both of these things have become really important to me, and i don't believe i personally could exist as a writer without one or the other. it's a symbiotic relationship.

we'll start with fanfiction.

my relationship with fanfiction is relatively positive in online spaces: i write what i want to see from media that i like, and i have fun doing it. i also get some comments on my fics by lovely people that detail exactly what they like - some even go so far to talk about narrative style, voice, or tone - and that's really helpful. generally, i see fanfiction not only as a fun hobby and vent space for my strong positive feelings about certain media, but also as a place for me to try new things, experiment, and earn positive feedback.

i don't often share my original fiction online (and if i do, never at the same scope as my fanfiction), so i don't get that same opportunity to see what "works" with readers. fanfiction gives me the space to see that, and i apply new knowledge ive learned to my original fiction. that's what i mean by a symbiotic relationship.

in terms of specific style references for specific fics (which is what i know you probably most want to see), i'll try my best to pick them all out and give specific examples.

those benevolent stars and i am the messenger by markus zusak

in my favorite book list, i saw you mention tbs, so i'll start there. to be honest, i had no idea what my style reference for tbs was when i first saw your tags, and i almost didn't think there was anything specific. style references are a bit sneaky like that - if you've been referencing for someone for a long time, it becomes less of an intentional reference and more of just a you think, so it gets harder to tell.

lucky for this post, i just finished doing my yearly reread of zusak's i am the messenger, and as i was reading, i noticed a few spots where i was like wait hey i remember doing that.

for starters, iatm has been my favorite book for about six or seven years now, so i would say that some aspects of my style certainly comes from zusak because of how much i love iatm but also his other books. zusak has this huge talent for writing short, punchy sentences that convey so much in just a few words, and i think i've ended up trying to do that in my own writing. often, in my writing you'll see fragmentary sentences such as "He stopped. Blinked. Looked at her." that's not from anything specific, but i know ive written something like that maybe a million times over. zusak doesn't do the same thing - often his fragments are jam-packed with imagery in a way that mine aren't - but there's a thoughtfulness in his fragments that are in mine, too. a sort of pause. a hint that there's thinking happening in the narrator or a certain character. for example, i did a quick flip through of my copy and we have:

"We stare across the table.

Just briefly.

At each other." (I am the Messenger, p.144)

so you see how my common sentence fragment of "he stopped / blinked / looked at her" tracks with a fragment like this? i like the way zusak broke up sentences to make you dwell on them a little longer, consider the importance of each section, so i started doing that wayy before i wrote tbs i think.

also, at the time i wrote tbs, i think i was in the process of, or had just finished doing my reread of iatm, and, like i said, zusak loves imagery. tbs is a very imagery-heavy fic. tbs was influenced by a lot of music - a lot of the scenes have very specific pieces of music that i wrote imagining the tone and vibe of. iatm also references a lot of outside media sources, mostly music and films.

there are a couple of scenes in tbs that i think i wrote specifically mimicking or accidentally referencing from iatm. for example, we have this scene in tbs:

"It was almost like he could feel Marinette’s eyes on his back, steady and gentle. 'But you still love her.”

'Yeah,' Adrien said quietly, 'I still love her.' His eyes moved along a streak of purple that bled into a dark blue. 'I hate her a little bit, too.'

Marinette was silent.

He turned around, giving her a smile." (Those Benevolent Stars, chapter 3)

and this scene from iatm:

"'Do you hate me, Ed?'

Still stupid with bubbles and vodka in my stomach, I answer. Very seriously.

'Yes,' I whisper. 'I do.'

We both smack the sudden silence with laughter." (I am the Messenger, p. 233)

obviously there are differences, and i don't think i did it on purpose, but the interaction is very similar. i love the gentle intimacy of that scene in iatm, that weird complication relationship between the main character and the person he loves, the hurt, the brushing it off with laughter. so i wrote a scene that incorporated those things

zusak is also really good at writing moments of quiet into his books that aren't necessarily important to the plot, but are still important. if you've ever read that ghibli meta post talking about the 'quiet' between scenes in studio ghibli scenes, meant to give both the audience and the characters space to breath, it's like that. nothing in iatm is not imporant - it all serves a purpose, even the quiet moments, and i try to do the same thing. there's moments like that in tbs i think, like:

"Marinette gave him a small smile before turning back to her ice cream. Adrien tried to eat his ice cream a little faster, licking up where it had dripped onto his hand.

They were quiet for a while longer, and Marinette finished her ice cream. She leaned back on her hands and looked up at the dark sky, littered with stars.

He could see them all in her eyes, too." (Those Benevolent Stars, chapter 3)

and in iatm, you get scenes like:

"Our feet dangle.

I watch them, and I watch the jeans on Audrey's legs.

We only sit there now.

Audrey and me." (I am the Messenger, p.120)

so i definitely think tbs is a very i-am-the-messenger/markuz zusak-inspired fic. there's a lot of zusak's quiet, and there's the pieces of zusak's style that i've picked up along the way that really shine in tbs

tomorrow and this body's not big enough for the both of us by edgar cantero

ive talked about cantero a few times recently, but, as you've probably noticed, in relation to my fic called 'tomorrow.' i wrote tomorrow pretty soon after reading this body's not big enough for the both of us, and i used tomorrow specifically to experiment with cantero's visual writing style. in all the books by cantero ive read, there's this kind of hyper-awareness of a film gaze - how a certain scene would be shot on a camera, dialogue as script writing, and other things like that mixed with prose. i thought it was fascinating, and after finishing this body, i really wanted to play around with that idea. so i wrote tomorrow keeping in mind a "film gaze." for example:

"Two figures sitting on a rooftop, silhouettes. The moon hovers over them carefully, a crescent afraid to break the silence. One of the figures takes a breath, looks up into the sky at the hesitant moon, and he sighs. He closes his mouth again." (tomorrow)

versus in cantero's work, where we get descriptions like:

"And then, like a high-heeled coup de grace, she arrived.

She paused briefly outside the door, her hourglass silhouette cast upon the glass panel with the fresh shiny vinyl letters" (This Body's Not Big Enough for the Both of Us, prologue)

the tone of the two excerpts are very different, but there's a very visual sense to both of them, like they are being described from a shot in a movie rather than a regular work in prose. in tomorrow i also work a lot with specific camera imagery - saying where the camera goes in the scene, what it focuses on - and this body doesn't do this too much, but cantero's meddling kids does at least once that i remember.

regardless, after finishing this body, i wanted to try my hand at the visual structure that cantero uses in his works, so i really leaned in to the idea.

chat noir's white french man hit list for feminist purposes and grasshopper jungle by andrew smith

this is, as of right now, the most recent fic on my ao3, and i started it the literal day i finished grasshopper jungle. i think you might be getting a theme here - i read a really good book, and then immediately after i start writing something. the easiest way to get inspired as a writer is to read.

chat noir's hit list is a fic that is very much aware of the fact that it is a story being told - you don't know by who or for what real reason until the end, but it's a self aware sort of story. it's also very snarky and sarcastic, and it expands past just the confines of its own story; it's about chat noir and his hit list, but it also talks in depth about emilie agreste, chat noir's relationship with ladybug, and his relationship with himself. this is very much the kind of thing that you would find in an andrew smith book - grasshopper jungle is a story being told to you, and it's also about more than just the original pieces of the plot. the narrator tells the story that expands past regular confines of the story he means to tell - he's telling the 'history' of his life and his town, but he also talks about his great-great grandfather, the origins of the ketchup his girlfriend's dad eats, and what's happening in other parts of the country as he and his best friend are hanging out. the line in chat's hit list of "stars exploded, the sun did not, life continued on" was very much a grasshopper jungle and andrew smith-inspired line.

at the end of adrien's narration in chat's hit list, he says:

"It should be mentioned at this point in time that this story is not over, although I’ll stop telling it here.

So that’s the story of Chat Noir, who is also Adrien Agreste, who was very much a normal boy, except for the fact that he wasn’t. It’s a sad story, but it is also a happy story, and it is highly confidential. I’m sure you understand." (Chat Noir's White French Man Hit List for Feminist Purposes)

and at the end of grasshopper jungle, as the main character is closing out his narration, we get:

What I have written here is not the history of Eden. It is the history of the end of the world. All real histories will be about everything, and they will stretch to the end of the world.

The end of the world started when Andrej Szczerba slid into the cold sea as his boy, Krys, watched and wept and drifted closer and closer to the United States of America.

Nobody knew anything about it." (Grasshopper Jungle, p.382-3)

It's not overtly similar, but the structure is the same: recognition of the end, short summary of where we started and left the story, tag phrase that was used prior in the work. when i was writing the end of adrien's narration, i didn't mean to mirror grasshopper jungle so closely, but sometimes things just happen that way - honestly, so many of the things i do in my writing aren't intentional, they're subconscious. when i make a conscious choice, it's related to plot or to a new strategy im applying to style or voice that i'm not used to, but a lot of the things i do fly under the radar in my brain unless im purposefully trying to piece them apart like i am here.

i will say the meta-story of chat's hit list was pretty directly inspired by grasshopper jungle because i love meta stories, and i like using opportunities to put them in. i just love the idea of reading a story of someone telling someone else a story, which is what the two books by andrew smith i've read have been, and i think that's just fascinating, which is why i used it here.

ive gotten a couple of comments on chat's hit list that liken the narrative style to pseudonymous bosch's the name of this book is secret and lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events, which i thought was really interesting, because i was purposefully trying to make the voice an impression of andrew smith's voice adapted to the tone of ml, but i could definitely see their reasoning.

andrew smith, like i mentioned before, likes specifics - what exactly people were doing at certain times, where a specific bottle of ketchup came from, etc. from what i remember of the name of this book is secret and a series of unfortunate events, i remember the descriptions included in those books chock full of highly specific, snarky details that aren't truly necessary, but do a whole lot in terms of adding a certain flavor to the narration. i won't try and look up examples from unfortunate events and the name of this book, but here are a couple examples:

"See, the thing about Emilie Agreste, formerly Emilie Graham De Vanily, is that she was what could be generously called a ‘radical.’ Born in 1969, like most amazing and world-altering things, Emilie Graham De Vanily grew up in London alongside her twin sister, who is a nice enough woman and who is not really that important to this story, and she was raised with the firm and gentle hands of people who had witnessed war and cruelty and had found that they did not like at all. Emilie Graham De Vanily grew up learning about the true history of England, which is not a very nice history, truly, and she grew up knowing that people with white skin like her were historically not all that great. That, historically, was a very radical thought." (Chat Noir's White French Man Hit List for Feminist Purposes)

from chat's hit list, and this:

"In 1905, being seventeen years old made you a man. In 1969 when hungry Jack fought in Vietnam, seventeen years old was a man. My brother, Eric, who was somewhere in Afghanistan, was twenty-two.

Krzys Szczerba came across the Atlantic with his father. They planned on working and earning enough money so Krzys's mother, brother, and two sisters could come to the United States, too. People who did that were called Bread Polacks. They came here to make money." (Grasshopper Jungle, p. 68)

from grasshopper jungle. once again, obviously very different, but you can tell im playing around with that same feeling of giving a surplus of facts in my narration in the same way that andrew smith does. you can't really tell in the grasshopper jungle excerpt, but oftentimes the surplus of 'facts' serves almost a comedic effect, which is definitely something that you can feel in chat noir's hit list.

[REDACTED] and six of crows by leigh bardugo

as a reward for sticking around through this, i'll give out something fun here. the current long fic that ive been working on recently has proved to be very bardugo-inspired, particularly six of crows-inspired.

in six of crows, bardugo gives us action right off the bat and then integrates flashbacks into lulls of action so that there's never truly a dull moment. i found [REDACTED] to be a fic where i wanted to use flashbacks in a similar way, so that i would get something like:

"She doesn’t stay for the whole parade, but she stays for enough of it. Nothing unusual happens, just like always, but she still makes cursory patrols around the city, ending up at the Eiffel Tower, just like always. She sits on the railing way up at the top, and she crosses her ankles, swinging her legs back and forth and humming softly to herself as she watches the sun set.

'Little kitty on the roof, all alone without his lady,' he used to sing when he’d gotten back to their meeting point from patrolling his half of the city before her. It was just a silly little song, one that he’d clearly made up for himself."

It didn’t hurt until he’d been akumatized, and she’d seen that one version of the future - the one where he’d destroyed the whole world because of Gabriel Agreste. She’d seen him then, a lonely figure in white, humming his little song to himself. Who knows how long he’d been like that before she’d been transported to him, how long he’d been really and truly alone. (REDACTED, chapter 1)

and in comparison, we get a lot of scenes in six of crows like:

"Kaz leaned against the ship's railing. He wished he hadn't said anything about his brother. Even those few words raised the memories, clamoring for attention. What had he said to Geels at the Exchange? I'm the kind of bastard they only manufacture in the Barrel. One more lie, one more piece of the myth he'd built for himself.

After their father died, crushed beneath a plow with his insides strewn across a field like a trail of damp red blossoms, Jordie had sold the farm. Not for much." (Six of Crows, p.205-6)

bardugo uses most of the flashbacks during a time in which the main characters are on a long sea voyage, which means they have a lot of time to reflect on their pasts and what brought them to these situations - it's a smart way to fill the empty space of the sea voyage and to really dwell on how important the voyage is. in a similar way, i chose to use the flashbacks in dull or lulling moments in the events of the story, ones in which marinette lets her mind wander or sees something that makes her remember something specific.

however, here's a situation where you can see me adapt the style into something that makes more sense for me, personally: in my excerpt, the tense changes between the current events and the flashback events, while in bardugo's excerpt, the tense stays the same at a comfortable past tense. when i was writing my fic with the flashbacks, i thought the constant, sometimes abrupt, switching would get confusing, so i made sure to always have a clear line using the past and present tense that readers could consciously or unconsciously take notice of.

so there are a couple of instances within some fairly recent fics i have that have specific callbacks to specific books. there are a whole bunch more, i think, but these are the ones that ive played around with intentionally the most recently or the most often.

3. Future Days

based on my recent rapid experimentation in fics (the most recent four fics on my ao3 have been very experimental in comparison to most of my works), i really anticipate a lot of growth in my overall style. ive been having a lot of fun experimenting and throwing in things that a few years ago i would've never even thought of, so im really excited to see where that might lead me, style wise.

i think as a writer there's always room for growth and learning, and that kind of growth and learning comes from not only practicing writing, but also reading. i cannot stress enough how valuable and impactful reading is on writing. considering ive been trying to read a lot more than i have been in recent years, it makes a lot of sense that ive been making a lot of weird decisions and learning more about what i want to see in my own writing.

honestly, if you ever want to know about any of my other fics, or you want to see how this kind of thing translates to my original works, just shoot me an ask! this post is already long enough, so i think i'll go ahead and end it here, but just know you can always ask questions<3

thank you so much for asking me this question and letting me indulge, and thank you for reading!!!<3<3<3<3

[dripkingpetey]

love-e.pettersson

ive been working on this for a few days and im kinda proud of it! would love some feedback from you or requests for other story lines, i promise i’ll stop doing the friends to lovers storylines haha. i also accidentally deleted this and i was so sacred i couldnt get it back but here it is! i hope you enjoy.

*lowercase intended!*

2.2k words

he loves you, you know that right?

“why did you drag me here, i really don’t like hockey and you know that.” you said as you sighed to your bestfriend lucie while she pulls you down to your seats in rogers arena. 

“i know you don’t.” lucie said with a bright smile on her face. “but, you’re gonna learn to like it.” you look at her in confusion. “so, this is your way of torturing me as if you don’t already torture me enough by bringing me to parties.” you said while sitting down and looking at the players who are starting to get on the ice. “maybe.” lucie said with a wide grin and a mischievous look on her face before puck drop starts.

you’ve never been big on hockey, which is surprising considering you have lived in vancouver your whole life and your family is super big hockey fans. you also aren't the most extroverted person. sure, you’d go out to bars sometimes but mostly just with your close friends.

“what part of this sport do you even like?” you said as the game is going into the third period the canucks are now up 4-1 against the opposing team which you don’t even really know who they are. “well, if I’m being honest some of them are really hot but mostly cause of the sport.” you scoffed at her response. “none of them are hot from where i can see.” lucie looked at you with a shocked look. “oh you’ll get it once you get to know the players more.” you give her a confused look and put your full attention back to the game.

-

canucks ended up winning the game 5-2, lucie was very happy about it and you could tell cause she wanted to go out for a couple drinks and you didn’t want to say no so you agreed to go.

you had been at the bar for about twenty minutes and lucie was already gone which isn’t surprising, she was probably sleeping with some guy right now.

you started to panic a little when a creepy old dude came up to you and started hitting on you. “hey pretty girl, want to come home with me?” he started putting his hand on your arm which was resting on the table. you look around for lucie in panic but she’s no where to be found. 

you then feel a pair of arms sneak around your waist and you get even more freaked out. 

“hey babe, sorry i was gone for so long.” elias says to you with a smile but then proceeds to give the creepy dude the alien death stare which worked. after the dude leaves elias faces you and starts speaking. “sorry i touched you like that, it looked like you were alone and that guy was creeping you out so i thought you could use some help.” he shoots an apologetic smile at you. 

“its okay,” you give him a smile back. “thank you a lot actually, i have no idea where my friend went.” you take another look around the bar before looking back and him. 

“i’m elias by the way.” he smiles at you while holding his hand out for you to shake it. “y/n.” you say before shaking his hand. 

“so elias, what are you doing in this bar on a thursday night?” you gesture for him to sit down next to you. “if i told you, you wouldn’t believe me.” elias lets out a soft laugh while sitting down across from you. “tell me, i wanna know.” elias sighs lightly before he starts speaking again. “i’m with them,” he gestures over to brock, jake, quinn, thatcher and troy. you look over to see them all waving at you and laughing at elias, you laugh softly and wave back at the before turning your attention back to elias. “ah, so i’m guessing you’re on the canucks?”

elias lets out a nervous laugh. “yeah, why don’t we go somewhere else where the boys aren’t up my ass?” you take another sip out of your drink. “i would love to.” he holds out his hand for you and as you guys walk out you can hear the guys chirping, but when you look over to elias you can see him giving the death stare to the boys and it makes you laugh. “you have a scary death stare jeez.” elias leads you to his car. “that’s surprisingly what the fans love me for.” he smiles at you before opening the car 

door for you.

-

“…and that’s all what led me to being on the canucks.” elias said to you while eating a chip out of the chip bowl you had prepared. it had been a couple hours since you guys left the bar and went back to your apartment, you don’t know why but it felt like you and elias had such a strong bond already that you both felt like you can talk for hours and hours and never get tired of each other, he felt the same way too. “jeez, i kinda sound like a douche. i’ve been talking about myself all night, please tell me more about you.” elias said to you while you laughed at his words. 

“it’s all good, i’ve been the one asking questions anyways.” you smiled while responding to him. “no seriously, tell me something about you before i have to go which i really don’t want to by the way.” 

you look at the time and realize its almost twelve am so you proceed to give him a quick response. “well, i’ve lived in vancouver my whole life. and i’m currently going to ubc as a nursing student.” you smiled at his now very amused face. 

“see, that’s something i wouldn’t have known if you didn’t say it,” he laughs a little before he finishes his sentence. “can i get your number? i have practice early tomorrow morning but i’m free for the rest of the day if you want to hang out.” 

you smile at his words and take his phone from him. “of course you can, i’m free tomorrow too just give me a call.” you said while handing his phone back to him after you’ve entered your number. elias gives you a wide grin and you both get up so you could walk him to the door. “goodnight elias.” you look up at him with a smile as he’s standing in the doorway. “goodnight y/n, sweet dreams.” he said and then started to walk down the hallway towards the elevator. “pettersson!” you called out at him and he turns around confused. “text me when you get home.” he gives you the thumbs up and you close your door and head to bed. 

no ones ever shown this much attention to elias before, at least no one he’s truly cared about. 

he smiled to himself on his drive home cause he was excited to text you again.

*contact name changed to “y/n<3”* 

text message to y/n<3:i just got home, thank you for the awesome night :).

-

it’s been a couple weeks since you and elias had met at the bar, you basically hung out with each other anytime you could. 

you were each others best friends at this point, sure the guys would make fun of elias for being in love with you but you couldn’t see it, elias knows he has some feelings for you but he wasn’t sure about it yet. he also didn’t want to risk the amazing friendship you guys had started.

“hey, are you coming to the game tonight?” elias asked over the phone to you.

you let out a sigh before you start speaking. “i’ll try, schools been really hard lately but i should be able to finish studying tonight.” elias could hear the tiredness in you voice and it hurt him to see you like this. “y/n, its okay. you don’t have to try and make it, focus on school its way important. you have many more games of mine that you can watch.” he left out a soft chuckle at the end of his sentence. 

“i’ll still try though, i’ll give you a text if i can make it.” you said to him as you looked at the last large text book you had to read through and look at the giant pile of coffee cups surrounding your desk. 

“okay, love you, i gotta go.” “love you too e, good luck.” you both quickly exchanged goodbyes as you started reading your last text book. you knew there was no way you were going to be able to make it to his game tonight and you felt really bad, you sighed it off as you put your attention back to studying and occasionally looking at the canucks game that was now playing on your tv.

-

the game had ended, canucks lost by one but petey is a sore loser so obviously he was sad, which made him show up at your apartment, he brought pizza from your favourite place downtown.

you were passed out on the couch though, which resulted in elias having to pull out his spare key and sneaking into your apartment.

“elias?” you mumbled out as you felt him sit next to where you were laying on the couch, he motioned for you to lay you head on his lap and you did.

“hey sleepy girl, i brought our favourite pizza.” he said to you with a smile. no matter how bad of a day elias was having, you could always make him smile.

you positioned your head so you’re now facing up at him and you give him a big smile. “thank you, can we snuggle and watch a movie?” elias starts rubbing your cheek softly. “of course we can y/n.”

the night ended with you and elias falling asleep on the couch together while watching a movie he had picked out, you both forgot about all the stress from today and just enjoyed the moment.

-

“he loves you, you know that right?” brock said to you as he came by and sat next to you.

it was the start of summer, tanev decided to host a little barbecue for the whole team before everyone left vancouver and went back to their home towns for the summer.

you were sitting in the backyard watching elias talk to huggy. “what?” you said to brock with confusion. “no he doesn’t.”

brock scoffed at your response. “dude, you can’t be serious. how do you not see it.”

you thought about what brock said for awhile before you gave him a response. “does he talk about me?” you looked at brock while taking a sip of your drink. 

“does he talk about you? of course he fucking does y/n, all the time. especially when you don’t show up to our games, it’s worse when we’re on the road.” 

you smile to yourself at what brock said.

-

you were quite tipsy by the end of the night and elias didn’t want to let you go home alone, so you spent the night at his place.

“elias?” you said in your sweet drunken tone as you both settled into his bed, and you faced your body in his direction. 

“yes?” he said while playing with your hair softly. 

“brock said something to me earlier,” you said while pulling your body close to his.

 “of course he did,” he said with a sigh. “what’d he say this time?” 

“apparently you talk about me a lot?” you said with a soft laugh and your fingers now tracing up and down his back.

“yeah, yeah i do. i talk shit about you all the time.” he says sarcastically knowing where this conversation was going.

“hey!” you said as you playfully punched him. “i was going to do something but i guess not anymore.” you said with a huff.

he lifts your chin up to face him. before you knew it you guys were kissing each other, it was a soft, long and sweet kiss.

elias pulled away with a big grin on his face and you did too. you talked to each other for the rest of the night, you ended up falling asleep before elias did but he did too shortly after.

you woke up to the smell of elias making waffles, you hugged him from behind and he didn’t even notice you were awake until you did that.

“it smells really good,” you said to elias before kissing his cheek and begging for him to hug you. 

he pulls you into his grip and whispers in your ear. “do you wanna go to sweden with me for the summer?”

you look up at him with slight shock. “yeah, why not.” you said to him with a smile and he gets very excited and spins you around, you kiss for awhile until you smell something burning and you pull away.

“shit.” elias mumbles as he deals with the burnt waffles and you’re both laughing your asses off.

[smugvillanelle]

Since you wanna talk about books, do you have recommendations for wlw books? 👀

i could literally kiss you for sending this ask. okay. i am deep in the trenches of booktok so i know of a lot of wlw books, i just havent read many yet since im just now getting back into reading. but, so far ive read:

- We Are Okay by nina lacour (5/5, deals with grief and being alone. main character is in college and her best friend who she had a thing with comes to visit her. made me cry happy tears. pretty quick and easy read.)

- Wilder Girls by rory power (i gave it a 3/5 bc its scifi/horror and thats not really my thing and i just didnt love it. but everyone is so gay and badass.)

then, Red, White and Royal Blue has bi rep and queer female characters (my fave current ship that im writing for). The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue also has queer rep in every main character pretty much.

heres a good link for so many wlw books: https://beyondabookshelf.co.uk/2021/the-ultimate-sapphic-masterlist-2021/#12-contemporary-