#im feeling very miserable rn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

be-an-echo · 4 months

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let's go my love, we don't belong here anymore...

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tillman · 1 year

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Theres some bangers in here 👍

#sorry for shakey cam pics I cant overstate how miserable I feel rn. theres some images contained in this tho thats for sure #txt #for by your side so johnny is the crowd favorite for included the most LOL. theres a couple w him and testament and they make me a happy #grinner. testament my friend.#ONE. anji appearance. the one of the guild. and a handful of jam sightings ….#who else is by your side. uhhh.#OH. DIZZY. I forget shes from x and not the og LOL. shes in a ton. as she should be.#many axls as always. hes the star of all of these a lot of the time. cery cute image of him playing billiards #lots of very good sols. I like the sols in this one a ton. hes deviously cute.#id take more pics but my back hurts so bad. im laying back down. oopsie

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iloveyoumorethansoup · 3 months

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the depression is doing abnormal things (im not rotting?? still there. but its not that kind rn) and god would i Love to say. the lwa obsession never left. the depression briefly (last two years) covered it. i am still so not normal at all about this show. i need it so bad in every aspect of my life

#typing this from my computer rn bc I wanted to scroll through the croix tab while I did hw #i will not lie! the emotions i have experienced the last week are reminding me of that one post that was like hey guys sorry I haven't #been active on my stan account i got put on mood stabilizers and now Im not nearly as obsessive #its giving that. it is so deeply hardcore giving that. its ok tho! cause i am not on mood stabilizers and i don't want to be !#i would love a stimulant though. seriously. I've got the adhd diagnosis now i want the meds for it.#my therapist asked me today why i said i wanted to take it once a week knock out all of my hw and chores and not take it every day and #live a functional day to day life. and its like bestie. i am a little on the unstable side. i don't want to be neurotypical #in truth its bc ive tried adderall before and it was great i got everything done. but everything felt wrong. it was too functional #i need the broken hinges in my brain the things that don't work. it keeps my life interesting even if its downright miserable #why is grammerly showing up on my tumblr post. bro?? woah you can edit ur tags on desktop?? this is crazy #grammery emotion guesser is saying i seem very unhappy. i feel better than i have in a long time. its like a breath of fresh air #i think i should look at what manic depression is #anyways. Hi from desktop!!#soup talks

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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months

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#aaaand that's 2 doctors that think i have bipolar ii 🙃#so the conceptualize rn would b that my mood is fucked but im using ocd to keep myself contained withing sorta normal parameters #which. i mean. that does kinda fit with observationally. i would create rules around: u arent allowed to get excited abt things u arent #allowed to enjoy things bc u cant handle it. u cant b normal abt how u enjoy things. or bc when i go to enjoy a thing #my mood is caped at being lightly miserable so its like well fuck being around ppl it makes me feel nothing #bc my focus and energy swing around like the light on a lighthouse. and in between that im miserable or feel nothing #and if its true that i am bipolar the reason i never noticed would b bc i very rarely experience euphoria. mostly i have high energy and #dont feel good. just fucking out of control. so mixed episodes i guess. but like idk. i guess i just think of bipolar as being extremely #destructive. and i mean r my mood issues a problem? yes. sometimes a really big problem. but idk. im still resistant to thr idea #lots of ppl get misdiagnosed as bipolar even tho the presentation is so specific. i guess i just doesn't wanna accept it and then have to #have been wrong if i was misdiagnosed. but i mean 2 doctors independently listened to me and thought hm sounds like bipolar so maybe im #just being stubborn. also no one else in my family thst i kno of is bipolar. ive got 2 uncles with adhd but not bipolar relatives #i dunno. i guess it doesn't matter so long as i can get it under control. im good at control. destructively good at control #unrelated #i guess its more that ive never done anything life ruining bc of my moods #mostly i just dont sleep much and make myself crazy. so ill probably die an early death or whatever lack og sleep causes rio #i meant rip lol

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we-dont-talk-about-potato-nonono · 11 months

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I hope your day/night gets better 💜 sending positivity your way💜💜

(You don’t have to answer)

jfkfjfje YOU’RE AN ANGEL OK PLEASE NEVER FORGET THAT 😭✨💫👍💖🫂🩵

thank you so much for this message ❤️ i’ll get there in the end (i hope) this ask means a lot <3 sending positivity on your way too!!

#tbh lately im just being. cranky and wasting time I know it 😔#my life feels like a telltale game rn #too many decisions #and I just have to wait and see if they end up being the right one #a little miserable for a bit since my cat went missing and a best friend of mine is at hospital…. but i’ll be okay….#thats why i had to close my req for now #i also feel so bad about myself because im not a very talkative person on tumblr #idk how to interact because of my anxiety😭 im the worse #but seriously i read all the tags and notifs from u guys and it made me very happy!!#i promise im not ignore it im just so shy to talk haha #hm ok enough about me #anyway I hope you’re better than okay 🤍 have a lovely day/night #sending you loads of love and reassurance!#sorry for too many tags….#wholesome #lovely ask #ask

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piplupod · 6 months

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#i think it is because i am so desperate and miserable probably #but i just really wish i knew why i am not likeable fjfkdl #i feel like there is something so obvious that im oblivious to somehow. and everyone else sees it and hates it #and i just. cant figure it out #i feel like im one of those hateful bigots who cry abt how nobody likes them and its so obvious why nobody likes them #i hope I'm not that. but maybe i am idk. i cannot figure it out and im just really tired of trying and failing w ppl #fumbling every attempt to make friends #theres ppl being v nice to me on a sideblog where I've been sharing art and stuff and I'm just constantly waiting for me to fuck it up #and then they will realize whatever it is about me that puts everyone off. and i will lose the chances of friendship.#im so scared and tired. i just want to understand what im doing wrong so i can fix it and be better and be likeable #idk i think there is just smth inherently wrong within me. im off putting somehow. there is smth festering at my core maybe #and everyone else can just /sense/ it. and i am trying so hard to be good at socializing and friendships but i somehow fumble it always #i just wish i knew what it was that im doing wrong #or like... if its smth inherent within me I'd also like to know so i can just accept it finally and move on #argh idk this is so pathetic probably but i am just so frustrated w myself tonight #im just constantly waiting for me to somehow mess things up w the nice ppl in my life rn and be left without that again #and im not doing anything to self sabotage even!! im just treading very carefully!! and trying my best to be good!!#but it seems to always go wrong somehow like ppl just... pull away #idk. i feel so terrified that it's so obvious whats wrong w me and im just not seeing it #i keep trying to look but i cannot see what it is so idk !! i keep looking!! i dont understand !!

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thelaughingmerman · 6 months

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Games got me in a chokehold

#its great i needed another thing i could really hyperfocus on rn #im in such a bad zone a distraction is very needed #i was able to get my ent appoint #ment moved up a week and im aure theyll want to do a scope and i still need to figure out the endoscopy which im scared of #i dont know if i have an issue with my nose thats just exacerbating everything and making it feel like something else or what #i dont know if i have a previously unknown seasonal allergy #i dont know if its polyps but thats my current hypothesis #but i cant eat i cant sleep im anxious depressed and absolutely miserable but im trying to keep my chin up

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torchiiko · 10 months

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rly miss when my birthday used 2 be like Important . or rather it just felt more important when i was younger bc it was actively celebrated an i got parties and gifts but as i got older i stopped having enough money or friends to even Have parties anymore

i guess i just miss feeling special in that birthday girl way

#i kinda see birthdays as a celebration of someones very existence & the fact theyre still alive to experience it #its Your special day. the day you were officially brought into the world. its a day to be Important and Special isnt it?#and so maybe the less and less eventful to downright miserable birthdays make me feel unappreciated by my family #like im undeserving of any more special treatment bc im Too Old now...#tbh i feel a bit unappreciated for reasons beyond just that but thats not important rn #torch chatter #sadposting

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steampoweredskeleton · 4 months

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#delete later #don't think ive gone a day without painkillers for a couple weeks now #i hate sharp pain. im just s bit miserable. the cold is making ny hands sore and thats upsetting bc i used to love yhe winter #but now it just stresses me bc i know pain is coming. im struggling to focus on anything anf i feel shakey and blurry #anf i keep struggling to make my eyes focus properly. im just very tired i think #exhausted anf achey and in pain abd still waiting for a scan on my foot and i nred to call but i dont think i can rn #tired!#on the upside found a good new musician and told my sister about them and she liked it so nice #also planning my next bracers. i want silver and black and blue and purple and a more warped metally look.#no idea how im gonns do it so am gonna start researching

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pepprs · 1 year

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covid exposure day 2 i woke up an hour ago and can’t go back to sleep bc im too aware of my body 😃👍

#i feel completely fine rn i think but what if i don’t feel fine.#purrs #i was wearing an n95 and she was wearing a mask and also im up to date w my boosters. so hopefully i won’t get it and if i do get it i won’t #get very sick. but my god. i wish i could test now and know for sure if i have it. and GOD do i hate covid and wish this nightmare was over.#like what a genuinely miserable time to be alive as a 20something yr old with health anxiety. ive gotten back into doomscrolling ng abt it a #and reading threads and posts and stuff of ppl talking abt the toll it’s had on their lives and it’s like. god. i want to be alive and i kno #know being alive in this time is important and good in many ways. but also why did it have to be this and right now. like why couldn’t covid #have happened in a better future or not at all. it has ruined so fucking much. im tired of being scared and empty every day.

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milo-is-rambling · 1 year

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Day whatever it is recap!

#📸#I think it’s day five maybe #also I’m at my brothers school for the last time ever :/#probs the last time I’ll ever step into a college dorm again tbh #and I got one last shower in the dorm bathroom which is always good bc if I’m seeing my brother chances are I’ve at very least spent three #hours in a car to get to him #so a shower is nice especially bc I was like panic attack sweaty. tmi? maybe.#I didn’t really do a lot today #at least not postable stuff #a lot of hanging out with family and Millie and being tired and kind of miserable but also daydreaming about any other shit in my life #idk. it all feels weird rn. all of it. and my brain is nagging me saying you’re being/doing x y z for attention even when I’m not telling #anyone shit im doing or thinking or anything and my brain is still like nah. you’re jealous of your brother graduating and not being home #at the end of dads life and at the same time you feel stressed and guilty and feel bad about him not getting closure #but at the same time you just wish you didn’t see his fucking body on the ventilator and all the IVs and the bloat and the popped blood #vessels and the nurses and doctors and knowing they did cpr so much if he even survived he would be miserable and have broken ribs #fuck. I want to be home and alone and crying about this all by myself alone. I hate this I hate this I hate this I want to go smoke a cig #but this is a no smoking campus ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh I am miserable and this is supposed to be this big fun #thing for my brother and I feel selfish and stupid for having feelings and letting myself get upset about my dad but my fucking mother #made some sign to put in an empty chair for my dad and she brought his jacket he wore all the time and I started crying when I saw and then #immediately after we had to go see his parents and my grandfather is falling apart and reminds me of my dad in the hospital and I’m just so #miserable and between horrible thoughts and self harm and everything I’m keeping to myself I am just thinking about how this is so bitter #sweet for my brother like he’s graduating with his friends and then moving away from them all to a place where it’s just all about dad being #dead and he doesn’t like Florida really and he’s gotta start his grown up life (technically he has two more classes online and he’s getting #a blank diploma tomorrow but yeah. things are rough and my body hurts and stress is so bad for me and my chronic pain and I feel like I went #from the most relaxed and comfortable and happy I’ve been in a year to feeling like hell on earth and I feel like I’m bringing down every #one else’s mood but like hello why are we pretending any of this normal thid can’t be real this can’t be real this can’t be real I don’t #want this to be reak I want it to be fake it has to be fake please please please wake up tomorrow and have it be a year ago please #I miss my father and I hate myself and violent thoughts are taking over my mind and I hate it all but things were so good literally up until #I saw my mom and grandparents #my brother was so nice when it was just us too (and later I just mean before mom got here specifically he was still nice to me)

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garlicowboy · 1 year

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jarring to come to terms with the fact that life isn’t always devastatingly heart-wrenchingly painfully awful and it isn’t always incredibly beautifully wonderful either. most of the time it’s just like. mediocre and boring. it’s pretty ok. it’s just another day again. you know?