#im finding home in tasks that share a commonality

[inkybinkyboink]

living on ur own is weird.

[raziiyah]

I love how it's a common headcanon within the collective fandom that prior to the whole Scream Extractor ordeal, Randall was in a romantic relationship with someone that went south due to him becoming more and more involved in the Scream Extractor

Like not even just your oc, but I've noticed this with a lot of ocs that get shipped with Randall?

Like wow Randall fans certainly live for that angst huh? 💔

(yes i sketched this because of this ask)

okay first off thank you sm for sending me an ask related to my oc, i've had her for a very long time but i've never shared her on any of my socials prior to this year so i'm happy to talk about her!

with a character like randall yeah angst is inevitable 😔✊️ i've seen a bunch of art of people's ocs that they ship with randall, but i'm mostly unfamiliar with narratives that people give said ocs so that's interesting to hear! i'm curious on how other people write the scream extractor plot into their stories

if im being real, if i wasn't in love with randall (a world i don't even want to imagine LOL) i don't think i would've headcannoned him to have a romantic partner

but HAHA guess what i am, so yeah randall has a wife and it's me!!! :)))

UM okay so for real though, how i've written it, is that lia and randall's relationship didn't exactly go downhill after randall started working on the scream extractor. yes they fought more after randall started working on the scream extractor for reasons i will mention here, but they were just as supportive and caring towards each other since university, and still very much in love. in fact, right before the events of mi, their life was at a peak. randall was on the path to getting the scare record, and lia was about to transfer from scare industries to start a new career at monsters inc. they were both happier than ever. but of course, you know what happens to randall during mi's runtime

lia was unaware that randall was building a scream extractor. sometimes randall would feel guilty about keeping such a big secret from her and sometimes ponder about the lies he's told her while in bed with lia lying just right next to him. sometimes, randall would return home extremely hungry and lethargic with his lunch uneaten, from working on the scream extractor on his lunch break. with randall having little time to work on the scream extractor in the day he would often also stay at work after hours to engineer and refine it, which would cause him to arrive home very late. causing lia to worry. sometimes lia wouldn't see him until the next morning. randall's late nights and absences didn't go unnoticed.

whenever lia would confront him about it, randall would brush it off and make up different excuses such as having to stay late to do paperwork or wouldn't specify and would say things like waternoose had a task for him or he was just busy with "work stuff." a couple times she'd even find some stray papers hanging out from randall's work bag or in his office at home such as odd blueprints or a list of strange tools and parts to aquire (i don't think she'd ever get a good look at them) though she let him off for a bit, after some time, lia wouldn't buy it

when lia would accuse randall of hiding something, he would deny it up and down. but with lia seeing past his facade, she would sometimes keep pushing him to tell her the truth, while randall insists that he is or tells her to mind her own business. unable to mention the scream extractor, and just saying that he's busy, lia would also think that he's putting too much attention into work and isn't taking care of himself, as well as putting his job above their relationship. this would typically result in arguments.

these arguements could get quite explosive with randall's short temper and lia's stubborness, but after some time to cool off they would eventually make up and apologize to each other. lia would tell him things such as she's happy that he's close to getting what he's wanted for years (the scare record) but she's worried about him working so hard that he's compromising all other aspects of his life, and bring that she can't help but worry when there are times where she doesn't see him all day. randall, focusing lia's attention away from the scream extractor and towards the scare record would express his feelings and tell lia that once he gets the scare record he'll feel comfortable with taking it easy and they can truly live the life they want but right now he can't afford to slow down. however, he'd sometimes feel bad and make some time for himself and lia, even if only a little. this would slow down the production of the scream extractor, but these moments would only be temporary. lia would sometimes tell randall things like "you know you can tell me anything" and randall would ensure her that he knows and he will. however, lia would sometimes still have suspicions

the scream extractor was an undercover operation, and considering its ethics, i don't think randall would've told lia about the scream extractor until it was finalized, if at all

for me at least, i try to write lia in a way that is in harmony with the canon story as much as possible. i love mi and randall as they are so i do not want to drastically change his personality or alter him or the story in an outrageous way. lia and randall have been together since uni and i'm hoping to uncover more about their relationship through my posts, and i've hopefully made it in a way that makes their relationship believable

i think randall's bitter attitude and temper is definitely something he accumulated from years of trying and failing to overtake sulley which impacted his temper and attitude in general, so even if he's not angry at lia, his frustrations with work/sulley/fungus/scare record/scream extractor/etc can cause him to be hot headed, impatient, and give lia attitude since he's already agitated

even though issues arose after randall started working on the scream extractor, they didn't fall out of love or anything during it's construction, but it certainly dampered their relationship. after all randall is a villain and his personality, actions and story are going to interfere with a perfect relationship (which no relationship is 100% perfect but you get what i mean) so of course its going to come with some angst, but it just makes things more real and interesting lol 😃✊️

[gds-daisy]

hi!! im 🎀, I use any pronouns. I don't really identify with any specific gender label, I just am who I am if that makes sense! I present somewhat androgynous with a feminine lean.

I'm very much an introvert, I fit the stereotype pretty much perfectly if I'm being honest. I love hanging out but I can only handle so much before I need to be alone with myself and recharge. personality wise I'm a pretty easygoing person, I try my best to be a kind person others can rely on. I also have a habit of turning every other sentence into a joke, I can't help it lol.

honestly I need to get into more hobbies, but right now I enjoy writing, reading, video games, and occasionally dabbling in other things.

I don't have a lot of pet peeves, but two things I can't stand are people who chew loudly and when someone ignores my obvious dislike of something.

I don't really think about my ideal partner a lot, but they would definitely be someone who shares the same interests as me, someone who can respect when I need alone time, someone who understands my weird habits and mannerisms, and someone who's able to be open and vulnerable emotionally. I would honestly prefer staying home and hanging out over a date, as cheesy as that sounds.

my love language is definitely actions and gift giving, I find it so much easier than verbal affection (both to accept and give)

I'm not really sure if my style falls under a certain aesthtic since I mostly just wear whatever is clean, but most of my wardrobe is graphic tees, shorts, and lots of hoodies.

I'm 5'4 (almost 5'5) and my favorite color is definitely blue, I recently dyed my hair midnight blue! one important thing I think about in relationships is that since I'm autistic I want someone who can understand and accept me for who I am and that I don't need to mask around.

and since my interests are my favorite thing ever, here's a list of some of them: one piece, j-metal, figure collecting, and bigbang (obviously)

sfw only please, im asexual!

for 🎀

i match you with...

kang daesung

you instantly attracted daesung with your personality

he loves how easygoing you are because in his eyes, the world is too serious sometimes

daesung LOVES your sense of humor and will laugh the hardest at your jokes

from the get-go, you're honest with him about everything and you tell him about your autism

and just like the doting boyfriend he is, daesung makes sure he's educated enough so he can be a better partner

he notices your discomfort whenever someone is chewing their food almost obnoxiously and tries his best to not make the same mistakes

if the two of you go out together, he will try his best to avoid crowded places since he's aware of how overstimulated you get sometimes

if you do end up getting overstimulated to the point where you may have a meltdown whether it's out in public or at home, you tell him that you need some alone time

in such situations, he'll let you come to him rather than vice versa because he doesn't to make it seem like he doesn't respect your boundaries

the two of you think alike when it comes to what an ideal date would look like

it would consist of a homecooked dinner (nothing too extravagant), watching one piece, and then playing your favorite video games together afterward!!! :3

daesung is definitely awestruck when it comes to your action figure collection and asks a bunch of questions if he doesn't know much about the characters

on the days where it may be harder for you take care of yourself, daesung will take on the task with open arms

he knows how much acts of service mean to you especially since he loves them as well

the most common acts of service that come from him are writing you little notes, taking care of household chores, and preparing meals for you

when it comes to gift giving, he is the most thoughtful person ever!!!

he'll spend hours browsing online or even in person to find you the perfect gift

daesung wants to get you something one of a kind while still having it be related to one of your hobbies

but when you do the same thing? different story. he feels so guilty that you spent money on him and assures you that you didn't have to get him anything

overall hes just a sweetie <3

[myfandomrealitea]

https://www.tumblr.com/myfandomrealitea/754708019843137536/im-actually-sick-of-living-in-a-world-where-all?source=share

I did litter picking as a hobby in my last home, and eventually people started to thank me, and then eventually someone set up a group with me! It got too much for my hands after a while but it shows that its not futile to do something like that if you are able. Do you have any advice to on how to engage petitioning people when it you are autistic and disabled and thus struggle to put your limited energy towards things you feel aren't gonna lead anywhere and be pointless?

One of the best ways you can help if you have low reserves of energy or motivation is actually by helping others to achieve your shared goal. Chances are if you've found something wanting in your local community or with a larger issue, other people have too.

You can take on less demanding, perhaps even more fun tasks like designing leaflets or images that can be shared around. Especially in the era of convenience and hilarity where low quality memes can often accomplish what would once require fourteen degrees and few years experience in digital design.

Often people get burnt out by trying to assume a spearhead or higher effort role in a cause. Taking on too much when you simply don't have the capability to meet your own expectations is a not insignificant portion of why causes can feel 'pointless' or 'unachievable.'

For example, a lot of the common activism I do is actually simply connecting people to other people who can mutually aid them in their cause. If someone has the knowledge for how to get something to happen but simply not the time, I help them find someone who has the time that they can feed their knowledge to so that person can do what they can't.

Local good cause doesn't have a Facebook page for awareness and easy communication? Don't have the spoons to fully set it up and mod it yourself? Lightly prod the suggestion at someone who does. Encourage them to set it up. Maybe you can do small parts of setting it up like typing out the about section or sending out page invites.

Also; acknowledging when its too much for you and taking a step back is so fucking important. I already have a post about this; but forcing yourself into activism constantly is terrible for you, your cause and the people around you. Take breaks when you need them. Delegate when you need to. Take days to enjoy the world you live in for the very finite amount of time that you're in it.

[6of575]

my goal is to try and make at least a post a day on here, even if its nothin very interesting to anybody else

i feel like,,, if i can finally successfully make it a habit to post and engage, it might just trick my brain from task avoidance

so! post done and heres the part for me thats fun:

(under a cut since its ramblin long)

the books im currently reading concurrently are some conlang construct books mr am got me that have been on my wishlist for ages, along with a very cool book about black holes and theories surrounding them, which mr am loaned to me from his collection

one of the things we share is a love of science and space, and more specifically, stars and time travel and all the things about our known universe that black holes straight up break

i have a lot of fun chatting with him; i really cant overstate the value of a friend so genuine, who i am never too much of, and i can talk about all my interests without the reflexive dread creeping on in

all that bullshit i learned growing up, yanno the kind: "im boring, im dumb, who could possibly enjoy swapping rock facts, much less listen to hours of it even when it our interests DONT align"

like, theres so much else about my friendship with him thats meaningful, but thats top tier right there

and lately? ive gotten a few others in my corner, who when i share, im starting to feel like that with them, too

its so weird! to have gone from one person to a tiny community of folks (and i mean little! its like,, five? six? of us max usually) that thrive on a love of the weird and the cringe and the stubborn hope

plenny others have waxed more eloquent than me about this sorta thing--how fandom spaces come sorta pre-fab with common, shared interests that its fans bring, and they build their fort and theres rules already laid out, and it becomes a second (sometimes first) home, of sorts

but when its starting from scratch, when its about stuff and is made by people that others just wouldnt ordinarily invest in or look at without outside prompting, thats not the same! its not a bad thing, more neutral, but its stressful, its really such a lonely feeling

except--when you finally find it, that person, and thats a community of its own, and it can grow, and suddenly you swappin stories, throwing jokes! and memes and links and hey inevitably, theres also those what ifs about your little guys

and everything is srs and sacred and everything is hilarious and "i cant believe this is real life" levels of stupid

you get to learn habits and quirks and whole personalities

"hey this reminded me of you" "hey, check out this view" "oh, thats right, yer the possum dude" "you love medieval lore--and i read this, and what do you think about it, too"

its suddenly kind of a fandom space after all, and its like, still work of course, reaching for and keeping more and being a person with, it aint that neat or pretty

but its got warmth and joy and expansion, after a lifetime of making yourself small enough to try and fit

you end up fans of your friends, fans of their life, hyping each other up and up and up about the most mundane shit and it starts to look like not even the skys the limit

planning things to do together, spending long hours into the night to parallel play with vidgames or watchin movies like time aint nothin thisll last forever, right? (it doesnt, always, but thats also part of this, and the ones that stay, the ones that work with you

those are the ones waking up to backread your chats like its the morning newspaper

and your life matters

like its better than the best hot goss, its saturday morning cartoons and their favour ice cream flavours

only now we adults and its also commiseratin over breakups and bills, and cross-country moves, and its celebrating that i saw chickens in the yard today and you finally got your boygirlthemsomethin gender fuckery juice)

idk idk idk

i feel some kinda way about all that

i never thought id make it so far that im nearly forty

never thought id get to ask "okay, well, now what? what do i wanna do, and try, and be?"

im... starting small i think, and im for reals happy, happier than i have been in years; i learned how to be alla my friends biggest fans, and im starting to finally believe

other people can feel that way about me

i just really think thats kinda neat

[rubengrey]

Authentication Made Simple: Exploring QR Auto Login in Flutter

Technology is evolving daily. The more technology advances, the more people rely on QR codes. Very few businesses are left that still need to implement QR. General users also rely on QR codes, finding them a secure and easy payment gateway.

QR codes are widely recognized because of the automation process, verified and easy authentication on different platforms, and for storing URLs, text, emails, contact numbers, or other necessary forms of data. Many businesses also want to hire flutter developer to implement this process in their businesses for their users. QR codes have made the auto-scanning and login processes easier than ever.

What Is The Working Process Of the QR Code? 

Almost 90 people out of 100 have watched QR codes at some point in their lives. But do you know how it works? A QR code looks like a square grid with black dots and squares on a white background. Each QR code is different and processed with Reed-Solomon error correction. Open your mobile camera and place it all in the QR Code. As a result, it automatically translates it and shows the required content. There are different format storing options available in QR; for example - numeric, alphanumeric, byte, binary, and kanji.

QR codes help in different business projects. Businesses get help in product tracking, time tracking, product identification, document identification, and linking the same document with specific products. A scanned QR code also helps with access control during file entries. QR codes have become a major solution for businesses' contactless project handling.

QR Code Common Applications 

QR codes are extremely beneficial for business purposes. From conveying business messages to sharing information with clients, the application field of QR is broad. Hire Flutter developers for the most authentic ways of real-time QR application. 

Directing Consumers To Your Business Landing Page: When you start using QR codes for business, it becomes easier than ever for your business to guide consumers to the landing page just by scanning a code. It is considered an effective marketing technique.

Location Adding: Adding locations of shops, offices, homes, or any business place to a QR Code gives the most simple navigation to the users. 

Works As an Access Controller: Users can easily attach a QR code at any entry point after scanning the code and get access to enter by generating and sending OTP.  

What Are Some Key Features of QR Codes? 

The QR justifies its name: Quick Response. In the modern tech world, QR has been used in almost every field, and individuals and businesses are getting a huge advantage from this QR code. 

QR Codes Are Safe 

Business communications with consumers are a basic need for continuation. QR codes are highly effective for businesses and have been used in different sectors to provide consumer data and information. Consumers can also fill out all the confidential information securely. 

QR Codes Are Quick

QR is a great option for streamlining business operations and the user experience. It also ensures consumers get the necessary data access quickly and efficiently. Additionally, consumers can directly check in on the landing page without asking for any support.

QR Works As a Data Holder 

QR has a significant place to store consumer data. It holds much-encrypted information that converts into URLs, connects to different offers and landing pages, and shares remarkable market information. 

How a QR Code Works in Flutter? 

QR Codes allow businesses to easily integrate their website or business application. Businesses often hire flutter developer to execute these tasks well. 

At first, a simple project in Flutter gets created.  

In the pubspec. yml file. Put the Flutter QR code package

Then, the pre-generated code gets removed in the main. dart file.

Then there is a file generated in_qr_code. dart file.

Then, create and add the qr_image. dart file.

As a next step, it gets imported to the Flutter QR Code package in the form of qr_image.dart file

Then, the generated QR code is ready to use once scanned. Businesses can test this with a real device by scanning the generated QR code. This takes you to the link you pasted before creating the QR code.

Steps by Step Processes for QR Auto Login In Flutter 

Have you considered how easy and interesting it is to log in from different devices without using any messages, passwords, PINs or email? Different business apps use QR codes to log in from one logged-in device to another. It can easily be done with Flutter too. Yes, you can easily set up your project with Flutter or hire Flutter developer for a business venture. 

Platform Set Up 

Whenever a platform gets support from Flutter, it needs a particular set of parameters. You must create Firebase Messaging, including Web..., which contains numerous small setups such as this "firebase-messaging-sw.js" file. 

It is necessary to follow all the steps, and then you can see the Firebase (flutter-fire) CLI installation. It is called "firebase_options.dart". It gets generated automatically, and users can use it. It allows the quick deployment of Firebase inside the Flutter App. 

Push Notifications

There are a few different approaches to checking. Below, we are mentioning a particular one. You'll see a "Constants.authKey" variable. Remember, you have to collect yours from the Firebase Console. It is known as the Server key.

The QR Code is generated using the Token data, and you can check it from the logged device. Then, a Push Notification will be sent to the device on which the users are waiting to be logged.  You can also check here Flutter firebase user authentication using phone number.

Take a look : 

Waiting for the Push Notification, the device generates a QR code and then waits.

The device gets logged, the QR Code reading is done, the token is generated, and a notification is sent with the custom token.  

Once users have the device token to determine sending the Push Notification, the custom token gets logged in automatically without credentials. Thus, the process is done. 

Once the scanning of the QR Code is done, this screen disappears, and the push notification is sent. This can be added to any QR login by using the Flutter app. 

Conclusion 

The QR code of Flutter and auto-login have made business tasks easier. But, QR code generation is challenging for individuals. If you are a non-technical person, it would be better to hire Flutter developer because they know how to generate code in the most simplified way and efficiently. For more updates and details, visit us https://flutteragency.com/.

[zooophagous]

op of the axolotl post turned off rbs but I think what you said is important and should be shared, do you think you'd make a new post / sc of it? it seems like a common misconception that could stand to be corrected

I'll just post about it right here.

Axolotl are probably extinct in the wild. If they aren't, they're critical. Surveys trying to find them to monitor them have found fewer and fewer. Someone quoted a 2013 survey that only found 2? Im sure there's a more recent one.

They're found only in one lake in Mexico, and that lake has been hit hard by pollution. For any remaining axolotl, their days are numbered. The axolotl continues to exist today however in large numbers because of how useful it is as a lab animal, and because of how popular they are as a pet.

It's incredibly unlikely you'll ever see an axolotl from the wild. Especially if you aren't in Mexico, any axolotl you see is captive bred. Now that's not to say you won't find larval stage salamanders that are wild caught. Several salamander species go through a developmental stage where they look like axolotl.

In fact, axolotl are neotinic, meaning they permanently retain larval traits like their large frilly gills. You can actually manipulate an axolotl to fully mature into an ordinary looking salamander, but it drastically shortens their lifespan, they spend their entire life in this larval form.

Anyone claiming to have a wild caught axie probably has a larval salamander they're mislabeled as one.

Thats not to say, however, that breeding axolotl for pets is automatically considered conservation. Pet breeders will aim for weird colors combos and from what I understand some lines are hybrids so they aren't even pure axolotl. You also get weird things like the flourescent protein axolotl that glow, and while these are pretty... they're selected to be pretty. Not selected for healthy, genetically diverse wild type lines.

If their home range is repaired they could theoretically be reintroduced, but it's not likely the popular bright pink pet ones would be used for the task. You do still need to actually support dedicated conservation efforts for these little guys.

You aren't trafficking them from the wild if you buy one at a reptile show though.

[versadies]

Hey hey!! I've been following you for a while now and I love your work sm aaa

Saw the event, I love soulmate au's 😩‼ as a gemini, may I request a gemini prompt + kaeya? Up to you who the enemy is, I trust you ^ ^

-🦚 @pavo-ocell-me

someday, one day (hc scenario)

penpal: omg hi !! im glad u love my work, i hope this is to ur liking 🙌

prompt: gemini the twins, enemy-lover soulmate au

pairing/s: kaeya x gn!reader

sypnosis: when you thought he was your enemy but is actually your lover.

includes: spoilers on diluc and kaeya's backstory, spoilers on genshin's official webtoon, violence, physical pain, burns, arguing, enthusiastic!diluc (pls take note that its canon that he USED to be like all the other pyro characters b4 his father's death.),

when you first met diluc, it felt like he was your knight in shining armor.

the first time you two met was when you accidentally fell down from your balcony after leaning too much on the railing and diluc managed to catch you bridal-style whilst he was on patrol around the city as a knight.

it truly was romantic– and a near-death experience for you.

so when you found out that his name is imprinted on your wrist, you felt ecstatic, and so did he.

since then, you two were known as the youngest soulmates who had found each other in mondstadt, people admiring your relationship with envy and happiness.

of course, you and diluc were a happy couple. although you would be lying if you said diluc is overall your type, you managed to find yourself falling in love with the man.

when crepus, diluc's father, found out about diluc's once-in-a-lifetime moment, he simply laughs and pats you and his son by your backs with a proud smile.

"by the time my son turns 18, we better make arrangements of your wedding! it's a ragnvindr tradition, after all." he comments eagerly. you honestly weren't sure if the man was joking or not.

it didn't take long before you meet his dear brother, kaeya.

when you find out his brother's name is the same as the one that's imprinted on your other wrist, being surprised is far from your reaction.

"don't worry about it, y/n." diluc reassures you one night as the two of you stroll around the city together. "i'll make sure nothing will go wrong between you and my brother. besides, you always have me, right?"

if diluc hadn't tried what he said, perhaps things would've gone differently than now.

in fear of being enemies with your future brother-in-law, you decided to avoid kaeya like a plague, giving the young man apologetic looks whenever you walk away from his presence.

as much as you're avoiding the man, you couldn't imagine hating on kaeya. every night, you always think of what can make kaeya your enemy. what is there to hate him? he's funny, chivalrous, everything that screams your type of men.

wait.. type?

your heart drops from the moment you started thinking romantic things about diluc's brother, looking behind you to see your soulmate sleeping soundly with a frown plastered on your face.

is diluc really your lover?

doubts started to cross your mind. what if diluc isn't your soulmate? what is there to prove that kaeya is your enemy? are you just overthinking things?

"i can't think about this." you murmured to yourself, pulling up your comforter before laying back down on your bed and try to fall asleep.

"i have a wedding to worry about next year."

just as you said, you did try not to think about the possibilities you have with the two brothers, distracting yourself with tasks and dates with your lover, who's quite oblivious to your problems going on inside your head.

unnoticed by you, you weren't the only one who has been burdened with your thoughts.

by the time diluc's birthday has arrived, the two of you started to get excited from your future wedding, excited to finally marry each other after years of spending your adolescence together.

you didn't expect an inconvenience during diluc and crepus's trip.

you didn't expect crepus trying to save diluc from a monster using something that no one but snezhnaya has ever heard of.

you didn't expect crepus asking diluc to put him out of his misery.

you didn't expect diluc to come strolling back to your shared home with blood stained in his clothing at a late hour.

you never, ever, expected your lover to fight his own brother when he took a visit.

and you did not expect your lover to plan on leaving you and everyone.

"what do you mean you're... you're leaving?" you ask in disbelief, staring at diluc as though he has two heads. "can't i go with you–?"

"no, this journey will be too dangerous for you–"

"this applies to you as well! you're not an immortal or some god–"

"i can do this on my own, y/n." he says with his eyes narrowed. you couldn't help but scoff in disbelief. this isn't the diluc you know and loved.

"but diluc.. isn't this too much? your father... i know crepus's death is too much but, why can't you stay?" you whispered, cupping his cheeks. "what about our wedding? the life you and i planned after your bi–"

"my father died and you're seriously thinking about our wedding?!" diluc forces your hands away from his face, glaring at you. "why can't you understand that i'm trying to find out the truth on this delusion–"

"i do understand!" you yelled out. "i do understand that you want to do this for him but what about monstadt? the knights? what about your brother–"

"HE'S NOT MY BROTHER!" he yelled, lashing out at you as you screamed in surprise when you saw fire in front of you, immediately covering your face with your arms out of reflex.

you didn't notice how your lover's eyes widens on what he did,

you couldn't notice him, not when you're too focused on the huge burns on your arms.

"oh my god..." diluc murmurs, slowly taking a few steps back as he takes a look of what he did, ignoring the sudden presence of adelaide and elzer, who both gasped from the scene.

your eyes starts to water from the intense pain, trying not to cry out and scream your heart out in fear of making your lover feel regret. you could honestly care less on what diluc is doing, all you could think about was the intense burns from your arms.

suddenly, the door was slammed open by kaeya– who was wet from the rain outside.

"what the hell did you do to them?!" kaeya exclaims, running towards you with a shocked look on his face. "i'll take you to the cathedral alright? the sisters will heal you." he whispers, wiping off the tears from your face as he wraps his arm around your shoulder and takes you towards the doors.

before diluc could let out a word from his mouth, kaeya gives him a glare.

"you may hate me for what happened," kaeya says.

"but for celestia's sake, don't ever come to them or call them your lover ever again."

that was the last time you saw diluc.

you eventually find out from the chattering nuns that the man had already left monstadt with no news of when he'll return, causing everyone to pity you and for diluc about what happened.

you were thankful that no one except the nuns found out about the incident of your arms.

throughout your stay in the cathedral, you usually find kaeya beside you, keeping an eye on you with a concerned look on his face. you honestly couldn't imagine what would've happened if the man didn't storm inside dawn winery. would diluc actually try to help you later on and leave? would you have suffered more with your injuries as he stands by watching you in disbelief?

whatever outcome you could think of, your heart ached from them all.

would diluc stayed had he been the one who tries to take care of your injuries?

either way, you knew the man is no longer the one you fell in love with from those years ago.

as years grew by, so did your friendship with kaeya.

although it was awkward from the start, you eventually warmed up to the man who you thought is your enemy, feeling more comfortable with him than before.

the two of you started having careers by then, with you having a successful career whilst kaeya becomes the calvary captain of the knights of favonius.

although the two of you are busy, you agreed to always meet each other at night in angel's share, where you drink the night away and talk about anything that comes out of your minds.

there wasn't a day when you thought about diluc.

thankfully, your burns weren't too severe and is slowly fading away throughout the years. but that doesn't mean the memories you had from it disappeared as well.

ever since that dreadful night, you started having nightmares about the incident, always finding yourself sitting up from your bed with a scared look on your face.

you wished you didn't want to see diluc this way, but you honestly couldn't bare to face him if he ever comes back to the city.

you don't see him as a lover or a friend. all he is to you at this very moment is your nightmare.

your nightmares simply washes away when kaeya comes up in your mind.

whenever you think about your so-called destined enemy, you felt comforted and safe. it was understandable really! you were touched by how he took care of you regardless of you being his "enemy".

however... now that you could think about it, the calvary captain has a lot more common with you than diluc himself. the fact that his brother made you laugh a lot and supported you in many ways made you started thinking that maybe diluc really isn't your destined lover.

your heart skips a beat from the thought of kaeya being your true lover, the smile you wore never fading away.

perhaps when you're finally starting to move on from the relationship you had with diluc, maybe... just maybe, kaeya could be the one you've been hoping for.

you started to sleep more peacefully, excited for the future that awaits.

somewhere in the calvary captain's home, the man is dreaming and hoping of you too.

[crownandwriter]

In which he notices your...frustration

Pairings: Kazuha, Diluc x gn!reader

Warnings: suggestive themes/dialogue (nothing actually happens, though), flirting, fluff/comfort??if you squint, not proofread because im impatient

Author Note: A little idea I had, but I left the smut off for now lol. If these are well-liked I’ll do other characters

Part 2 (Xiao, Chongyun)

Intro

You couldn’t say where such an intense need had come from, or if something specific had caused it, but it’s presence was unyielding. Worse, it’s been one busy-bee-thing after the other today--a task here, too many people there, your help needed there…. You hadn’t had chance enough to take care of the problem yourself, let alone seek out your partner and ask him to sweep you away for much-needed relief.

Little did you know, he’d already taken note of your predicament. How the need flushed your cheeks and the discomfort made you seem ever-so-slightly...frustrated. And, well, how could he not offer to ease your burdens?

Kazuha

Kazuha came strolling back over the hill with the water satchels in record time, and laid them out neatly near Aether as he assembled the fire pit for cooking today’s lunch. Before you could offer to get the soup pot ready, Kazuha gingerly took your wrist and tugged. The look he leveled you with was sweeter than usual...doting almost.

“There’s something by the water I want to show you,” he said. “Traveler, we’ll be back shortly.”

Aether waved you off good-naturedly, responding something about the other still fetching ingredients anyway,, and Kazuha laced your fingers together as he led you back towards the river. As you approached, you scanned the area for what he may have discovered. It wasn’t uncommon for Kazuha to lead you off in private like this to share in a particularly beautiful scene and a few moments of respite. Though, if you were being honest, you doubted your ability to enjoy it right now….

As you tip-toed to the water’s edge, however, his hand gently guided you further up the embankment. There was a gorgeous waterfall too, and you found yourself wondering if a cold dip would help this burning urge. Kazuha looked between you and the cascading water for a few rich moments, and then cleaned closer so you could hear his soft voice over the rush of water.

“You’ll never guess what I’ve found,” he said. It was hard to structure a guess when his breath on your ear sent a shockwave down the pulse of your neck. You were sure he noticed the thick swallow that came after, too.

He chuckled, and then his free hand came up to guide a large palm leaf growing from the cliffside into the water. The torrent split open, neat like pulling open a curtain, and revealed a cozy little cave beyond the cool mist.

“I rarely find anything beyond waterfalls,” Kazuha says and he guides you under the opening. “Storybooks could certainly make one think they’d be more common. No treasure in here, though--”

You flicker a smile at him for the sentiment, and take in the space. There’s moss-covered rocks and a scattered few glowing lamp grass that seem to have been recently plucked. Before you can ponder too much on their presence, Kazuha steps in behind you and his lips find your ear once more.

“--yet.” You whirl, and catch his autumnal eyes burning right into yours, temptingly close, but half-lidded and gentle. His fingers dance over your hips in ritual that’s long become casual, skirting the edges of your clothing and waiting for any ounce of refusal. “I believe you’ve been on the precipice of finding it for a while now…. May I be so bold as to offer you my assistance in reaching it?”

“K-Kazuha, I don’t think we have time,” you felt the need to whisper--but surely the whitenoise of rushing water would cover even the loudest yelling…. Oh. “The others will be waiting for us.”

Kazuha shakes his head slowly, never breaking gazes with you, even as he slowly backs you into the rock wall and begins to slide down your body. “Not to worry; we have a little time, and that’s all I need. For now.”

“I’ll be sure to take care of you more thoroughly next time we’re alone. But for now, please allow me to ease your troubles just a little.”

Diluc

Angel’s Share was close to closing, but you couldn’t say you had survived the night just yet. A scarce few regulars remained, mostly drunk, either awaiting their escorts home or sipping on water to sober up enough to make it alone. They all knew the closing routine by now, so Diluc stepped into the back room to take inventory without worry. And you were back with him to help speed things along too.

Although, surprisingly, it was actually going slower with your aid.

“Archons-- damn it, sorry Diluc, I’ve lost count again.” He wasn’t upset with you, but that was the third time. You’d been helping him with these sorts of tasks for so long now, the sudden difficulty with it concerned him. Now, he was a very observant man, and your reddened cheeks, lack of focus, the way you couldn’t meet his eyes in some moments.... Diluc had a theory as to what was going on, but felt guilty in lingering on an assumption so personal. He tried, instead, to observe you for signs of injury or fatigue, but his unwavering attention instead seemed to fluster you more.

“Is everything alright?” There, he finally asked. He did keep his voice down, though, lest the remaining patrons hear the conversation through the splinter-sized cracks in the bar door.

Your face dipped darker red immediately. You pointedly kept your eyes on the wine racks.

“Y-yes, of course! It’s just...been a long day. I’m quite ready to go home.” There’s a brief pause, and then you whirl to look at him. “Oh! Not that, I don’t like helping out here! I-I just, ah…”

“...Just?”

“I just...have some things to do at home,” you mutter.

Diluc knew that sentence was one large punctuation to end the topic; you were embarrassed, though he couldn’t tell for certain if there was discomfort mingled in with it. While you scrambled to finish counting the dandelion wine, Diluc leaned his hips back on a stack of crates, stretching his legs languid and crossing his ankles. He watched you even more intently now, digging with his eyes for the reaction to his next question:

“Is it something I can help you with?”

Your breath hitches at the inquiry. It takes much more courage than it should to flicker your gaze back over at your shoulder at him. You know--they say fire breathes. And it’s true. Diluc is there, flickering heat over in the corner of the dim room, eyes crackling embers, just waiting to burn the whole room down with you...or is that just wishful thinking?

“Come here,” he speaks again. He’s more assured in your wants now, and his pupils are blown wider. Your legs wobble over to him before your embarrassment gets the better of you. He slides the glove easily off of one had by a pinched finger, and then takes your chin gently between his bare fingers, leveling your eyes with his so hotly you think you might combust. When he speaks again, his voice is lower, quieter. “Do you need my help?”

Your hands grapple his shirt in desperate response, but fall limp and weak against his chest. Squirming in your place, you only just manage to nod. Diluc hums, and gently pulls you flush against him.

“I don’t love being so unceremonious with you,” he says while leaning in. “But I’ll worry about making it up to you later. For now, just remember to keep your voice down.”

“If you can’t walk to the Winery after this...it can’t be helped, I’ll just carry you. Though, it doesn’t bode well for you when we get back.”

[phantasmagoric-acquaintance]

heeeeeyyyyy bestie how about “You see, this is the part where you tell me you’re proud of me" and lucretia :0 pls and thank <3

((it has been. so long and I do not feel very well that I am not up to the task of finding the post this prompt came from im sorry))

It had been a month since the start of the cycle.

One month into a cycle, Lucretia was normally still knee-deep in her journals, taking down every bit of relevant information she could scrounge up. Normally, she’d spend the first two months in the biggest library she could find, taking down every fact she deemed relevant to understanding the new plane— the cultures, the global history, the biology, geology, physics… On planes devoid of intelligent life, she’d spend time examining the land, gleaning what she could from it.

So far this cycle, she’s mainly been sitting on the couch in the commons room of the ship, hugging her knees to her chest.

For that first month, the others gave her space, mostly just checking in to make sure she’s had enough to eat. Merle had, on occasion, put on some old music and tried to convince her to dance, but he was always quickly steered away by an apologetic Davenport.

But a month was evidently all the eggshell-walking Taako could take.

On a sunny afternoon, Taako plops down next to Lucretia on the couch with as much wordless drama as he could muster. He sticks out his index finger and spins it in a small circle: turn around.

Lucretia obliges, and as soon as she has her back to him, she feels him pulling the ties out of her hair, destroying the buns she’d put it in earlier.

It was some sort of ritual the twins had shared since long before they’d departed their home plane— when one twin was upset, the other would braid their hair. They had welcomed Lucretia into this ritual of theirs some 60 cycles ago, when she’d first realized her home, her family, were likely gone, that she’d never see them again. The braiding, it was a show of care, like the grooming behaviors of wild animals. It had a calming effect, one that would usually get the distressed party to open up.

There was nothing new to be said now, though, and so Lucretia simply closes her eyes and tries to let herself be comforted by the motion of Taako’s hands in her hair.

After some time, Taako clears his throat. “Okay, you know I’m not great at vulnerability or whatever, so you’re gonna wanna catch this one, dearest,” he tells Lucretia, an audible gentleness softening the edges of his words. “We’d all be totally boned if you weren’t one resilient fucker. And we appreciate you. And…” Lucretia feels a few definitive tugs before Taako tosses a completed braid over her shoulder, where she can see it. “…we’re all proud of you. For toughin’ it out. Our Lucy, saving the universe.”

“I…” Lucretia takes the braid, twirling the end of it nervously between her fingers. At long last, the tears she’d been struggling to cry finally came. “…thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.” Taako squeezes her shoulder. “Let it all out now, and then we’re gonna start getting off this couch and having better days. Think you can do that?”

“Yeah.” She gives him a small smile. “I think I can.”

Beep! The lights on Lucretia’s helmet flash as the tip of her épée hits Taako’s torso.

“Aw, hell!” he protests.

“That makes ten hits for me, and only one for you.” Lucretia says this matter-of-factly, stern and without the smallest hint of gloating. “You’re going to have to—”

“Yeah, whatever.” Taako yanks his helmet off, knocking some flyaway strands of bleach-blonde hair out of his bun in the process. “I don’t really wanna do this anymore today, boss.”

Lucretia sighs, long and low. She doesn’t have time for one of Taako’s fits. They’ve only months until the Hunger arrives now, and the Bureau of Balance has yet to retrieve the Animus Bell because, frankly, Lucretia’s terrified to send her Reclaimers— her friends, mind you, her family— into a hellish trap she’d only barely escaped herself.

She worries about Taako most of all. She remembers from her own trip to Wonderland that healing is impossible, and physically, Taako is far weaker than the others. He’s also severely lacking in melee combat training. What if he runs out of spell slots in Wonderland? What if they take spell slots from him?

“Taako, I understand you’re frustrated, but your melee skills need significant work. How can you expect to survive the pursuit of the remaining relics if—”

“I dunno, Madam, the same way I survived the last five times I put my life in danger for you?” Taako huffs. “Look, I get I’m not the best at swinging swords or throwing punches, and maybe I should work on on that, sure, but its like, I’ve made it this far. Don’t I get any acknowledgement for that? Aren’t you going to say you’re, I dunno, proud of me? Or something?” This comes out fast— he’s speaking his mind now.

The first thing Lucretia thinks is that, even after all this time, it feels weird to hear Taako seeking some sort of emotional comfort from her. Heading the Bureau of Balance certainly did not always come natural to Lucretia, who had never seen herself as much of a leader, but she thought she did pretty well most days.

She never really got used to being in charge of Taako, Magnus, and Merle, though.

Still, she knows Taako better than he could even comprehend, knows how he hides a deep need for validation, knows what he’s missing and how much more he must ache because of it.

“Oh, Taako,” she begins, removing her own helmet, “of course I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you every day, even when I don’t say it.” She steps closer to him, represses the urge to hug him. “I’m sorry I’ve been pushing you too hard lately, and that I haven’t been giving the most constructive feedback. I just… don’t want to lose you. Really.” She looks at him, as though maybe if he looks back he’ll know how earnest she is.

Taako stares at her, wide-eyed, and she knows he isn’t sure how he should react. That’s fine. She takes his épée from him. “We’ll pick this back up tomorrow. Go on, and we’ll try to have better days from now on, alright?”

“Yeah.” He gives her a small smile. “Sure, okay. I can do that.”

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

I don't like ranking autism in any way but especially in general tiers and let me explain why.

So I'm what people would generally agree is a "tier one" autistic. I'm diagnosed, and I'm very low support needs. I work in home care for disabled individuals and I have worked with higher support needs autistic people. I won't share any more about my experiences out of respect for my client's privacy but I say that just to say that I'm not one of those low support needs people who has only ever interacted with other low support needs people. I am aware of the struggles of those who have higher support needs than I do.

So with that disclaimer out of the way I want to talk about why I don't like tiers. It's not helpful in my mind. I'll use myself as an example. I struggle most heavily with sensory issues and executive functioning. One of the biggest ways this impacts me is how I eat. I'm very grateful to live in a time where I can use vitamins to get around a lot of my issues with eating but there are certain foods, often foods that have fundamental neurients in them that I cannot physically force myself to swallow because of the way it feels. My executive functioning makes it very difficult to compleat certain iADLs. Before I started the diet I'm currently on I would sometimes starve rather than prepare my own food because of the difficulty of the task. I could prepare my own food sometimes but sometimes it was like climbing a mountain. Both the sensory issues and the executive dysfunction affect me in many other ways this is not an exhaustive list, but I don't want this post to be too horribly long. That said my motor issues are so mild that they're negligible (I have messy handwriting and a weird gait but I can correct for both of those if I focus) and I never have trouble speaking.

However there might be a different "tier one" autistic person who doesn't struggle with sensory issues at all and who's executive dysfunction is much milder than mine but who is hit or miss on their ability to speak in a way that they have to structure their life around, and who really struggles with motor function, maybe they even also have trouble feeding themselves because their motor functioning makes it difficult for them to get the food from their plate to their mouth. That is a whole separate issue from my own eating struggles which needs a whole different system for support.

Me and this other person would have completely separate needs, we have different struggles. We have some things in common like being sort of able to hold a job with the right accomodations, being able to mask more or less effectively in some but not all situations, and being on the lower end in terms of support needs. We both struggle with feeding ourselves but in very different ways. If you told someone tasked with helping me that I was a "tier one" autistic it wouldn't tell you which set of those two problems I have or how to help me it just tells you that I need less help than someone who's a tier two. How much less help? Who knows. On top of that a person might know me, who hasn't had a problem with speech since I was small, and assume incorrectly that all "tier ones" are able to speak all of the time, which would be an incorrect assumption. We already have a phrase to help categorize struggle. It's high support needs and low support needs. It's called the autism spectrum, not the autism pyramid scheme.

TL;DR: if someone told me I had a tier 3 autistic client that I needed to help that information would not illuminate anything about their needs for me. There is an enormous diversity of needs and struggles within any given tier. I think it's about as useful as high needs vs low needs and I think listing spacific struggles is far more useful if it is my business and you don't need to say a damn thing if it's not.

I suppose if tiers are helpful for you in understanding your own autism im not gonna police that, I just find it to be unhelpful.

[luque-moreau]

y'know i think its about time ive refurbished my psychonauts headcanons/theories

what??? me??? rewriting my psychonauts headcanons in a more comprehensible and informed way???

ye

alright, i think everyone knows what im talking about, by headcanons i mean headcanon as in singular, and as singular, i mean my "raz is somewhere on the spectrum of adhd".

so lets just get into it:

what is adhd actually?

adhd by definition stands for attention deficit hyperactive/hyperfocus disorder (yes, let me get into the details in just a sec). it is a nerodevelopmental disorder that is almost completely reliant on genetic factors, however conditions during pregnancy can sometimes contribute to certain aspects of how adhd manifests itself.

long story short, people with adhd have a smaller frontal lobe, and therefore less dopamine in general (even though yes, it is more complicated than that).

theres also a little bit of "chicken or the egg first" goin on here, certain behaviors or personality tendencies can also affect how adhd is presented in one individual to the next, however its still not clear if that is because it is an accommodating for a certain thought process or if someones experiences and personality shape their symptoms of adhd entirely. its a very blurry line, and the answer is different for everybody.

hyperactive type

hyperactive type is probably the closest to most stereotypical depictions of adhd, think the 5 year old whos parents brush off their child’s hyperactivity as something that will “go with age”. however, this isn’t only present in children, adults with adhd have to deal with a constant need for stimuli to make up for the lack of dopamine their current activity is providing them. this results in someone fidgeting frequently in repetitive or predictable motions, unable to hold attention to a specific task for long periods of time, or many other of the symptoms associated with adhd.(i sadly cannot provide more information in this area, i am not knowledgeable enough to...)

hyperfocus type

hyperfocus type is a tricky one, it can look like the complete opposite of adhd in theory. hyperfocus can look similar to special interests or hyperfixation, a great deal of time and knowledge dedicated to a very particular thing (although it is important to note that even though hyperfixations and special interests are incredibly similar, special interests is a term more typically used within autistic-circles, and isnt really the best word to use if you happen to be neurotypical). Think of maybe that kid who knows all the cool animal facts and won’t shut up about them. Its because certain trains of thought or activities might release more dopamine then others, so to get more of that dopamine, someone of hyperfocus type will be mentally unable to stop thinking or doing a very specific task or topic. this results in someone seemingly always spacing out, unable to change subjects or changing subjects too fast or with little to no correlation, or being completely unable to have enough motivation to do simple things.

personally i tend to fall under the category of hyperfocus myself rather than hyperactive, however the two are not mutually exclusive, its more common to find people with both types rather than just one. even myself, i might exhibit more tendencies to place me under the label of hyperfocus, but that doesn’t mean i don’t have any symptoms of the hyperactive type. its my personality that affects my mannerisms, which then makes certain aspects of my symptoms more or less apparent. Thats because im an INTP-T, i just tend to be more to myself and constantly in a state of thinking abstractly. I have trouble communicating and even sometimes recognizing my needs, and get to a point where im unable to do the simplest of things without feeling emotionally drained. Thats just my experience though, everybodys different. 

so what the fuck does this have to do with raz then?

well lets think about it, rather than have it just be me projecting myself onto a comfort character:

raz finds issue with connecting to kids his age

lets be honest. none of the campers really like raz that much. or at least some do the bare minimum to be try and be polite. it doesn’t seem like any of the other campers besides dogen, whos also socially outcasted, are really fond of raz. lili might like him, but that can definitely be interpreted as curiosity in someone new and different from the norm. It might not be that the kids despise him, but nobodys opinionated enough to care whether he is around or not.

social isolation is one of the most damning things i had to experience from an early age and still feel even today. there is a sense of feeling that you are different among your peers, whether that is a good thing or bad thing. it feels difficult to interact with other people you are not familiar with, and can really stunt you emotionally and socially. from a really early age, theres somethin in you that knows something is very different between the experiences of your peers compared to your own, and it can feel incredibly isolating.

raz and his borderline stupidity

time to get real again. raz is a fucking idiot. at least in the sense that sometimes his decisions seem incredibly spontaneous and not really thought through. he runs from home to attend a summer camp, not really thinking about the logistics of how he will get there, how the staff will react, how long its gonna take for his parent to find him, and so on. it doesn’t seem like he over or underestimates his abilities, he just goes for it without considering. that doesnt seem like the smartest thing to do, even though we know hes incredibly intelligent when it comes to larger, abstract situations. its the little details that he misses, small minuet things that seem unimportant that he overlooks, which can sometimes make things harder for him in the end.

i think its obvious that impulsivity is one symptom of adhd. however i cannot stress how difficult it is to think at supersonic speed and still feel incredibly stupid. i mean, thinking faster doesn’t inherently mean you will have better ideas, you can always be stupider faster, but being able to realize stupid mistakes or inconsistencies in your own thought process is annoying as hell. it feels like every time you try to recognize the issue, fix it, and move forward, you only end up not paying attention to another issue that gets bigger and more annoying than the first. Its always two steps forward, one step back, constantly making the same mistakes even though you try everything in your power to avoid them or grow as a person. The simplest of facts, ideas, or just things to remember end up being forgotten, and once youre reminded of them you remember them and feel like an idiot. however, arbitrary things and complex issues are much easier to digest and remember for me, things like history and the whole blame game charade of it all, biology and how every minuet thing has a greater impact on others and intertwines with every single factor of its environment, philosophy and theorizing why we think the way we do and what can be changed. but oh shit, im a dumbass i forgot to do my laundry. shit. god fuckin dammit.

empathy over sympathy

one of the basic themes of psychonauts is empathy. simple as that. raz goes around into other peoples brains, and tries to help them as much as he can, even if his efforts are not always successful in the way he intended. he never demonizes anyone to the point of unredeemability, and can empathize and understand other peoples perspectives. hes open to new ideas and

although some studies out there theorize that empathy is impaired due to adhd, from my perspective i feel like that is simply not true. if anything, i would say the sensitivity that comes with adhd (hypersensitivity) only enhances that empathy. i could definitely see social disconnection being one of the reasons it might appear that someone with adhd is less empathetic, however i would doubt that adhd would impair a persons empathy. adhd tends to also entail heightened emotions, this doesn’t necessarily mean a more outwardly emotional person, however it definitely shifts a persons perspective of their own emotions as well as others. the concept of hypersensitivity also completely contradicts the idea of people with adhd be less empathetic.

miscommunication and disconnect

sigh, the dad thing. yup. raz has that very iffy relationship with his dad at the beginning of the game which is eventually resolved. very abruptly, might i add. but thats not what this is about, thats a topic for another day. miscommunication seemed to be the root of the issue, however we only get razs side of the story. not to mention the severity of his claims and willingness to seemingly drop everything afterwards. kinda sus, ngl.

alright this ones a doosey. this, i feel, cements my theory pretty well. like i mentioned before, social disconnect and hypersensitivity are side effects of the symptoms of adhd.  this means people with adhd are highly more likely to either misinterpret someones words or actions if those in question are not completely transparent, its because they tend to overthink and interpenetrate responses with too much thinkin n such. the social disconnect makes a whole lot of it worse, it can just pile on top of already established feelings of inadequacy and isolation. and oversharing as a poor coping mechanism isnt an exclusively adhd related thing, it tends to be shared within similar neruodevelopmental disorders such as autism or even ptsd. i find it incredibly easy to disconnect myself from my own emotions at times and think critically at what i feel and how it affects me. which is a bad thing. if i dont acknowledge my emotions like they are my own for too long, everything falls apart. its not fun. but, that disconnect can make talking about certain more traumatic experiences or instances that had deep personal effects on my life and development as a person much easier to just share. and not always in an appropriate manner, comedic opportunity can be   v  e  r  y   enticing. this also explains why raz might have been able to drop everything about his dad after he apologized. he didn’t really, he probably still suffers just as much afterwards as he did before. but he probably wont realize that for awhile, since logically, the issue has been resolved. long story short, he has not had the time to cope, and to put that off he detaches himself from those feelings. w a c k

of course i have other reasons why i feel like raz could potentially have adhd, or at least be accurately represented in headcanon with adhd, some minor mentions being:

he uses his camp map as a journal to track his in-game progress, list of goals, and notes/snip-its of information. writing down information on some form of notepad or book is a common tool used by kids and even adults with adhd to help them keep track of minuet, individual tasks. its just using a planner, but with a bit more information. 

just from my personal perspective, the lengths raz goes to pursue his dream of being a psychonaut feel more like a special interest/hyper fixation sort of thing. he can jump between having genuine conversations with his fellow campers and just exploring the campground, to investing himself entirely in obtaining his goal, even when it seems almost impossible. thats some serious dedication to one very specific thing, y’know?

this one isnt as solid as the other but: m̶̖̰̯̫̍͝o̵̦͖̟͈̹̤̥̝͐̿̄̀̀̎̓ņ̶̛̭̠̐̊̆̍͝ķ̸̝͈̺̙̰̊e̶͉͚̼̅̔͗̂͐̍̕͝͝y̶̦̖̼͖̪͎̝̖̠̐̑͋̾̔̑́͐͘ ̵̢̲̘͎͉̔̀͒̄͌͊̀͌̀m̴̲̫̮̪̖̍̐͆̕͜͝ͅả̶͙͚͗n̶̗̳̩̙̘̼̦̦͇͝ ̷̡̨̡͔̗͕̘͍̥̑͒̎̐̃g̴͔̔̈̅̐̏́̌̔̈́́o̶̥̱̽̆̂͌̀͗ ̶̝̩͙͕͛́s̴̛͓̥̲̜͓͚̣̠̆̓̌͌p̶̜̹̯̦̫̯̣̎͐̽̉̾ḙ̴͇̬͑̈́̐̈́͘͠ͅȅ̶̡̗̞̩͔̫̪͈͑̓͗d̵̠͇͎̜͔͇͒̈́́̀̅̈́̒͘y̸̡̦̠̻̖̥̿ͅ. yeah, its the most generalizing reason but look, hes moving nonstop the entire game, climbing and running around the entire goddamn place wrecking havoc. a bit of imp can be found in most people with adhd if you look hard enough.

so thanks for reading this far i guess? im oversharing even right now with this, like an i d i o t but yknow what i dont want to read the great gatsby rn, so ive got nothin better to do. who knows, maybe the second game will give us more info to either support/discredit this theory? gotta wait for pn2 i guess

:^)

[neon-junkie]

Queen of Amber - Chpt.1

Summary: You're soon to complete your training, finally earning yourself the title of Knight of Ren. Your Master, Kylo himself, relocates you to StarKiller Base to train by his side, but you become distracted at the sight of your Masters enemy, the bases General.

Pairing: General Hux x f!Reader

Word Count: 1641

Rating: SFW

Tags: Slow Burn, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Forbidden Love, Knights of Ren, Starkiller Base.

Notes: ugh I just LOVE the idea of being a knight of ren that ends up fancying hux and having to hide it from kylo. ive had this fic idea for... years..? and now im finally writing it >:)

The depths of space can feel so cold and empty, a vast plain of darkness, the light from the stars barely bright enough to draw away that feeling of nothingness. In some ways, it is peaceful, having a void so large and empty, but that feeling can be often be interpreted as deeper emotions: loneliness, numbness, isolation, etc. Those feelings are regular to you, or were, up until you found your calling in the galaxy and followed it through. Either you were in the right place at the right time, or you were bound to be discovered sooner or later. That's what you told yourself when it first happened, all those years ago. Some might call you a Sith, an out-dated term but one that still fits, like your favourite pair of well-worn boots. The term molds comfortably around you, engulfing you in the power that short word has; you've seen the way people shiver at the word alone, so think how they'd react when they finally meet one?

However, Sith wasn't the right term for you, and your Master, Kylo Ren, had told you this many times before. You were a Knight, or you're going to be, once your training is complete. Snoke had heard your calling through the force many years ago, ordering Kylo to find you and bring you back to him; you were a child back then, your planet stuck in the middle of a war, your parents had vanished amongst the smoke and you'd been pulled to safety by Kylo himself. At first, you were reluctant; you were scared and alone, isolated, mourning the loss of your family and home, just like the stars. But Snoke and Master Ren had been so kind to you, despite not being able to see Rens facial expressions, and despite Snoke being nothing more than a hologram. You'd discovered his real form very few times, usually trailing in the background whenever Master Ren was called to meet him face to face, and you knew that it would one day be you speaking directly to Snoke, when your time is ready. But for now, you find yourself on board a ship, finally docking on StarKiller Base. You've heard about this base for years, though you've never been on it, always occupied with your own tasks and training. Master Ren had recently been ordered to move here, which essentially meant packing his favourite cloaks and trusty light saber; he was one of the top dogs, being forced to share the base with a General that you're yet to meet. Master Ren has vented to many times before about said General. Yes, you two got along well, thought your status still stands as Master and Knight, or 'knight in training', as Master Ren always called you. His other Knights wouldn't bother with the longer name, simply calling you their Knight, or Sister on the occasion that they were being welcoming; they're a polite bunch, ruthless and bloodthirsty, but still your family. You haven't seen them in some time, busy with their own missions, just as you are busy with yours. You let out a deep sigh through the drone of your helmet as you stand, watching the ships hatch be lowered, welcoming you onto the foreign base. As always, your Troopers exit first, followed by their Commander, and then yourself. Master Ren is waiting for you, stood with his arms by his side, fists clenched, eyes clearly watching you despite his face being covered. You've seen him without his helmet a few times but only in recent years; he never took it off when you were young, probably not wanting to show how young he was too, only a few years older than you but his skills and strength said otherwise. You approach your Master, your cloak dancing behind you as you walk, your attire as dark and edgy as your Masters; he'd picked out your original outfit, through you'd changed a few elements of it throughout the years, adding your own flair to it the more yourself and your abilities grew. You know by now that you're close to completing your training, and you personally think you should have completed it long ago, but your Master continues to cling onto you, telling Snoke over and over that you're not ready, despite his words and pleads. Maybe Master Ren has something in store for you? "Master Ren," you greet him, your head nodding softly as he repeats the gesture. "How was your trip?" he questions. "The usual," you reply. "Boring? Master Ren suggests. "Mhmm," you hum in agreement. Master Ren begins to walk, his head slowly turning away from yours before looking forward, his usual body language for when he wants you to follow. "I'll be giving you a tour of the base later this evening, we have a meeting to attend to first, another petty one where the Commanders scream at each other because they're not progressing fast enough." "I thought you ruled this base with an iron fist?" you prod. Master Ren looks at you briefly as he walks, and you overhear the exhale he lets out, a soft laugh. "The General does, apparently, despite them being behind schedule for almost a week now. I plan on stepping in soon if he continues to fail our progress," Master Ren replies. "I'm surprised you haven't stepped in already." "Snoke has ordered me to keep out of it..." Master Ren admits, and you don't doubt that Snoke has had to lecture him again about his... temper tantrums. Master Ren continues to lead you down an array of corridors, the workers practically leaping out of the way; you can sense the fear on them, trembling at the sight of your Master, and even more so at you. The sight of Master Ren alone is enough to make anybody fear for their life, but two Knights? You're surprised nobody has dropped dead in fright, as entertaining as that would be. The room is already full of Commanders by the time you arrive; they're quick to stand, welcoming Master Ren as he enters, their eyes watching as Master Ren takes his usual place at one end of the table. Master Ren doesn't bother sitting, he never does, he claims it's not intimidating for a Knight to be sat down amongst 'commoners', but you'd enjoy being able to rest your legs for a few minutes. You stand diagonally behind him, sensing the fear in the workers, noticing the way they try their best not to stare. "Sit," is all Master Ren has to say. You watch the Commanders go to take their seats, only to jump up seconds later as a stranger enters the room. Master Ren instantly turns to look at you. 'That's him,' he tells you through the force before turning his head back around and facing forward. You know exactly who your Master is on about, the man that's caused him so much hassle during the years that they've been 'working together.' It seems the General has spent most of his life on his base, and you're surprised you've only just met him now. He's a little shorter than your Master, his fiery hair slicked back and glued into place, with perfectly shaped side burns and not a single piece of stubble on his structured face. He doesn't look very intimidating, not a man you'd expect people to fear, nor follow, but you're eager to see what layers there are to his persona. He's already glaring at your Master as he goes to take his seat, pulling out the chair but then suddenly stopping. His eyes trail over to you and his brows are quick to furrow, almost looking at you in disgust. "Not another one," The General speaks, and you can sense the frustration radiating off him. "That's not a polite way to greet one of your Commanders," Master Ren replies... Wait, Commander? It seems the General has the same question on the tip of his tongue. "Commander?" is all he asks. "Commander," Master Ren nods in agreement. "Has Snoke not given you the memo? My Knight here is to complete her training whilst on StarKiller Base. She has the role of Commander until her training is complete, then she will take the Knight status and join my ranks." "One of you is enough work as it is. I don't need two-" The General's sentence is cut off, his mouth is hanging open and his throat beginning to twitch. You know what your Master is doing, and you look down to see his hand in an arched positioned, as if he's choking the General. "Master," you butt-in. He chokes him for a few seconds more before relaxing his hand; Master Ren doesn't turn any of his attention to you, ignoring the Generals gulps for air as he finally sits down at his place on the table. "Shall we begin?" Master Ren suggests. The meeting goes on just as you'd expect - boring and heated, fingers being pointed and accusations flying across the room. Your Master had barely spoken during it, but you knew he was smiling under his mask at the chaos, watching the General bark at everyone, his face turning as red as his hair as he manged to pull his Commanders back into line. You didn't speak a word, you had no need to, and you didn't say much as Master Ren showed you around a few important parts of the base. Your tour then ended at your quarters, just down the hallway from your Masters. He had said his goodbye before leaving you to it, letting you finally unmask in the isolation of your new room. You spent the night unpacking, trying to find some form of comfort in your new home. Hopefully, this base will soon feel like a home..

[slutsofren]

Magical Mysteries

Summary:  Hogwarts, 1978: Ben Solo and you are the best of friends, his mother is the Minister for Magic which puts a large target on his back being the wizarding community's supposed Golden Child and the leading example for fellow witches and wizards. Being his only friend has also led you to be ostracised with him. His life has been threatened repeatedly and you stayed beside him. But, this story isn't just about him being targeted by others, it's also the tale of either your illustrious fall with him to the darker side of magic, or your own saving grace to leave him to his virtues.

Read it on AO3 here: Prologue: Trust

im so sorry for everybody who was waiting on me, things got a little crazy the past week or so at home and it put me off of writing and editing- im doing this by myself and just kind of needed a Break. i think i should be back on to weekly posting now <3

Six years had passed since you first walked into the Great Hall. Six years since you met Ben Organa-Solo. In all that time both you and Ben had changed so much physically. Where he grew much taller and broader over the years, developing into the strong young man you knew he was, you changed in ways that only accentuated your humbled attractiveness. 

You let your hair grow longer and longer each year, as did Ben when he could afford to, it was the 1970s afterall, by now your hair was long enough to reach your waist. A true accomplishment since you constantly fussed with it. Eventually it settled down a lot when Ben began braiding your hair from time to time. It was a comforting task for the two of you.

The best thing that changed for you both was your developments as magical people. Your strengths in herbology and potions were only rivaled by Ben. He was also well accomplished in potions as well due to a certain tutor you both shared, but he soared in charms and astronomy. Although your studies were close to perfection, everything else was not.

Your first year was as difficult you could have possibly imagined but you were forever grateful for having Ben with you. When you arrived with little to nothing but your full-blood Kneazle, something you’d deny your cat ever was, you felt overwhelmingly unprepared in comparison to the other students.

Ben had been gracious enough to help conceal your cat’s heritage and in doing so, coined his name, Anubis. You, in turn, named his great horned owl Athena. Both your companions took not only a liking to their new names but also to each other and would often be seen cozying about somewhere in the Slytherin common room. Ben never let you go without whenever he could, always bringing you whatever supplies you might have needed “just because”.

Since the two of you had begun your magical education, you minded to yourselves as best you could. It did prove to be rather difficult. Some of the elder Gryffindor students were almost always on your case because you had taken to defending another Slytherin boy. You and Ben caught a group of boys dangling him from his ankle, high in the sky using magic.

You disarmed the apparent leader, one James Potter. This led to a mild brawl between the group of bullies and you and Ben. Peter, the rat-faced boy ran away, the one named Sirius fought Ben and you fought James. Remus opted out of this small brawl and saw it as “unmanly” to hit you. You were sure to add a few well placed punches on James for that to prove a point.

When all was said and done, you ended up with a black eye and a few bruises. Ben, on the other hand, had fractured ribs, a broken nose, and a couple bite marks- he wasn’t happy about that. The boy in question was older by two years and his name was Severus Snape. He wasn’t fond of either of you at first but you bugged him enough to at least be tolerated by him. 

As a result of the fight, Dumbledore was advised to expel you both, the bullies included, but the Ministry sent an advisor to meet with the Headmaster and you two were able to walk away without consequences on behalf of the school outside a bloody red howler.

It was sent by Ben’s mother who was not impressed with your chivalry as well as Ben’s “ineptitude to be a leader and not a follower”. This soured his mood for quite some time seeing as the entire school knew about it by the end of the day. Although you both left this debacle with little to no consequences, the group of Gryffindor boys were sent on a week long detention in the Forbidden Forest and lost 50 house points- each.

Ever since then, the Gryffindor house all made it a point to target you two. It didn’t bother you for the first year or so, you felt a sense of pride knowing that you did the right thing. It only became more inconvenient when they began to mess with your studies. That only fueled your drive to do better, to be better.

Ben, on the other hand, wanted less to do with this type of attention, he felt it to be too bothersome and invasive, which it was. They’d begin rumors about him, his family. All this did was further alienate him from others as they began to whisper about his background. As for you they’d only temper with your schooling since nobody knew of your father’s “infamy” in Europe.

Your fellow Slytherins either ignored both of your existences or quite simply cared to not get involved with the rivalry. Surprisingly enough, the general house feeling was to attempt winning the house cup as many years in a row as possible, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw had been dominating that title for the past four years at the very least.

The boy you defended, Severus Snape, acknowledged you two well enough eventually, offering to help your studies in potions since you had kind of guilted him into the position of tutor. You managed to begin scoring high marks since Severus made it relatively easy as he lent you his copy of Advanced Potions Making every once in a while. This alongside your affinity for botanical witchcraft seemed perfect. Aside from being your tutors, he kept to himself, much like the team you developed with the Minister's son. Alas, he wouldn’t be caught dead being seen with either of you but you would meet, albeit secretly, in one of the abandoned girls' bathrooms for his lessons once a week.

Due to Severus’ teachings you began to take to making whatever precautions you felt would be needed eventually. Ben often found himself either hurt or in need of aid and you always seemed to have his needs prepared before he even opened his mouth. This sparked his new nickname for you, Starlight. The one who always knew how to light the way.

Eventually the rumors and overall whispers began to grow more and more irritable. By the time your fifth year had rolled around, you needed to help Ben find an escape. You couldn’t sit by and watch your best friend cave into himself, becoming more reserved around you as if you were the exact same people he did not trust.

It felt like forever and a half until you found the perfect thing. You called it “The Attic”. It was not but what seemed to be but a small abandoned classroom on one of the most southern towers at the school. There was a large window facing the front of the school, where you could see the bridge that welcomed students each year if they came from the carriages. The other window facing the west allowed you to see the sunset from the room perfectly every evening.

Ben became more and more curious the more you slipped out from the common room without saying anything to him. These antics had gone on for about two weeks before he confronted you.

“Where do you think you’re going,” he warily said your name. His hand gripped your upper arm when you tried to scoot around behind him without him noticing one evening. 

You felt anxious, staring at him like this, with your secret to hide, a surprise you couldn’t wait to show. “I can’t tell you yet but please,” you begged in a hushed whisper, “trust me.” Ben let go of your arm and nodded, watching you give a half smile and turn around, disappearing behind the common room doorway. He had half a mind to follow you but he stayed where he sat at the desk.

Not once in your entire friendship did he ever think about trust when it came to you. It felt like a foreign concept entirely. Being around you felt intoxicating, as if being next to you solved every problem he ever had.

Trust.

Yeah, he believes he trusts you.

He stayed put in that chair all night, even ignoring the Slytherin Head Boy calling everyone to bed for lights out. He stayed rooted in the chair, waiting for your return, clutching a letter in his hand that Athena, his wonderful owl, delivered earlier in the day. In the far corner of the room, he could hear the clock chiming, alerting him that it was now midnight.

Ben let out a heavy sigh and burned the letter, the contents lost in the flames. A problem for another day.

Deep in thought, the entry to the common room opened slowly, slipping past Ben’s attention. You walked closer behind him, watching him as he concentrated on the burning parchment.

You whispered his name and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, “Why are you still awake?”

He turned to look at you. His eyes filled with weariness and a hush of anger. “Where did you go?” He avoided your question.

You lowered your hood and flashed a big grin, excitement growing within the confines of your belly. “Let me show you tomorrow? I promise, you���ll really enjoy it.”

Ben searched your eyes and saw you were not going to hide your secret from him no longer and he conceded with a shallow nod. 

The very next day, you both left dinner in the Great Hall early and you led him by his hand, taking the right hallway then a left to a spiral staircase, then up the changing stairways, up up up and up, almost not stopping.

He was beginning to get annoyed, thinking you’d led him on some wild goose chase until you stopped dead in your tracks in front of a door, you spun around, excitement making your whole body feel like it was vibrating.

“Here, this is what I’ve been working on, it’s for you- for us to come to whenever we want,” you word vomited.

Ben looked at you with furrowed brows as you gestured to the handle, encouraging him to open the door. As he did, you clapped your hands together, hoping- praying he likes this place.

Inside was the abandoned classroom you had found when you went looking for the Slytherin Prefect one day, it was dusty and filled with magical creatures that began to make their home there but now, now it was filled with a brown couch, a small bed, a brown desk, some books, a record player and vinyl, a calligraphy set, and a plethora of other, much smaller details.

When you first began to rearrange this space for the two of you, you made a deal with some of the magical beings: you would never take away their home and made a deal to share the space, even making them all small nests throughout the room, one special one filled with a small family of bowtruckles. You earned their trust by offering them some woodlice and a never ending pile of it for them.

When Ben walked into the space, his eyes darted so fast around, trying to absorb each and every detail, every piece of you that you offered to share from the muggle world with him, and the bits of him that were around, decorations you had sought to placate some of his interests like the calligraphy set- something he mentioned was a minor hobby of his since childhood.

His heart swelled with emotions- so much you have given him and he felt he has done nothing in comparison, that you are the very sunshine that peaks through the leaves on a sunny day. Tears began to well in his eyes over this grand gesture of yours.

And so, you two spent every available free time in that room, The Attic. This place truly felt like a home away from home for you both.

Ben, one of the best spell masters you knew, casted an undetectable expansion charm on a pair of satchels so you could bring stuff from home to this space, but being careful not to bring anything much too large.

You wouldn’t tell him how you managed to sneak a whole couch and bed in there, there could be a few innocent secrets between you both.

He took another turn to look around the new room for you both, letting his large hand leave featherlight touches on the items you had decorated the room in, the muggle records being his favorite- so much he didn’t know about that world. Your world. The one outside everything magical, everything he was constantly surrounded by.

“Th- thank you, Starlight.”

“Anything for you,” you smiled. 

[mintseesaw]

Prompt: “I thought you left.”

Pairing: namjoon x reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Word count: 1.3k

*not edited*

Shit, Namjoon mentally cursed. The keys in his hand fell, creating a noise to the awfully quiet apartment. He didn't care.

He rushed towards the bedroom to confirm his assumption. He was met with darkness, like the rest of the flat, a sign of a lacking presence of the woman whom he’s been sharing the place with. He scurried his phone through his pocket, dialing your number. Please pick up, baby.

A series of profanities left his mouth when the call went straight to voicemail.

His face met his perspiring hands harshly in agitation, suddenly being filled with remorse for stirring a fight with you over the phone awhile ago. After you ended the call, the intensity of his emotion was rapidly replaced by guilt. Since then, it has been eating him out to the point where his in progress tracks are left untouched although he’s never left his chair in front of his computer. He wanted to apologize, and perhaps, he should’ve called you to make amends.

The damage he created would have been fixed immediately. Not only that, he could’ve prevented you from leaving, as well. He was harsh. For someone as delicate and sensitive as yourself, words can be as painful as inflicting physical injuries for you.

Are you gonna come back home, tonight?

He sat down helplessly on the bed. He needs to find you. But where does he start?

The eerie silence in the apartment was cut short as Namjoon heard the door creaking which obviously indicates someone has got in. He sprinted out and towards the living room to be met by his surprised girlfriend.

Purely startled, you look at your boyfriend who you noticed is breathing heavily, you’re not expecting to see him at home.

“You’re here…” You glowered, mostly to confirm it for yourself as opposed to what you have assumed.

You concluded you’d be alone tonight after the little fight you had with him.

He didn’t say so, but there is no confirmation needed when it became a common occurrence for him to skip home when he gets upset over a fight. He’d rather spend the night in his studio. And you understand, that he needs to comply to the demands of his work. Going home would only distract him, instead of accomplishing his tasks.

“You’re not home...where have you been?” He distressed.

You eyed his features. He looks worried. “Just...anywhere...out. I thought you have no plan to go home.”

His eyes fluttered closed for a second, exhaling a long breath. In relief, maybe?

When he opened them, he spoke. “I thought you left.” His voice croaked. A lot of emotions dance in his eyes. His lowered head allowed you to see it. His vulnerability.

“What?” Leave him? Where is that coming from?

He heaves a sigh before answering, “You’re upset.”

“So are you.” You quickly replied.

“I was. I’m sorry.” He means it. He should not speak with his temper taking over his rational mind, again. Because there’s no way he couldn’t have hurt you from the words he threw over his phone which is why he needed to check up on you— to see you with his own eyes, regardless of the load of his work.

“You shouldn't be, I was being dramatic.”

He groans, hearing you echo his own words. “You’re not being dramatic.”

“I realized you’re right.” You admitted.

He shook his head violently. “I didn’t mean that.”

“It’s fine. I was being selfish.”

“No, I’m sorry. I regret saying those things to you.”

“Namjoon, I understand now. And I went out to think, and I have considered of giving you the space you want—“

“No, baby. Listen, I don't mean everything I said. It was not me talking but my temper.” He croaked.

You heave a sigh, not wanting to talk about it further. You could feel your eyes water. So you moved to the kitchen, randomly opening the cupboards and pulling the drawers to distract yourself.

“Do you want coffee?” You asked as you took two mugs out without taking a glance at his direction.

He was silent.

“You’ll work on your tracks here, as well?” You continued. You heard a low humming sound from him, taking it as a yes even though his reply sounds uncertain.

“I should make you one, then.”

Your movements halted when you felt him, his arms finding their way around your waist, hugging you from behind—to your surprise. His lips pressed flat on the skin of your shoulder.

“I love you, y/n.” Namjoon whispered, tenderly.

Your chest constricted right there and then. His words have hurt you, but at the end of the day, you still love him and you knew his feelings for you remains the same. Tears hurriedly pooled in your eyes until it was too much, too late to stop it from flowing down your cheeks.

He didn’t realize it, until he heard you sniffed.

“Hey, are you crying?” He spun you around, “Y/n, baby…” His thumbs brushing both your cheeks, wiping the tears off of your face. It seems useless for a second because the tears won't stop flowing.

“I thought you didn’t want me anymore,” You sobbed. His heart made a painful tug.

“You seemed so upset over the phone. And I felt bad for insisting you to go home. I just wanted to surprise you… I learned to cook your favorite food and I couldn’t tell you because it would ruin the surprise. I’m sorry, I should be more considerate—”

“You did? Where is it?”

You tilted your head to the side, “It’s gone.”

“You threw it out?” He concluded in dismay.

“No, I gave it to our neighbor. You know, the old man.”

The agony he feels only intensified at your confession. If he hinted something behind your sudden request during his lunch break… no argument would take place between you and Namjoon. Unfortunately, he’s too stupid to sense that you were up to something.

“I’m sorry—“

“Stop apologizing, Joon.” You let out a small laugh. Pressing a kiss on his cheek on your tiptoes before turning back to the counter to continue your task. He remained still, calculating his moves.

“Will you cook it again for me?” He discreetly queried, while watching you getting pretty occupied on the Nespresso machine he recently purchased just for you.

You took a quick glance at him before turning your attention back to the machine in front of you. “Perhaps, if you want to.”

He didn't move, he stood still, watching your every move as if it entertains him more than the books that he reads.

“Take a seat, you’ve been standing there for too long.” He did as he was told, taking the closest high chair across from you. His eyes, however, have no intention to leave their gaze on you.

The tension has subsided. Although he remained cautious. He would’ve cracked a joke by now, only if he didn’t make you upset just a while ago.

Few minutes later, you placed a searing mug of hot coffee in front of him.

“You should start working on your tracks, it’s getting late.” You suggested, sincerity hinted in your tone.

He took a sip in his mug, wincing a little as the tip of his tongue gets burn at the sudden contact of the hot liquid. “I should, but I will probably rush it tomorrow. I want to spend the night with you.”

You gave him a smile, “You always do. I’m here, Joon. I’m not going anywhere.”

“That’s exactly why I should. You’re always by my side. Im sorry, baby, I should never take your presence for granted.”

You went to the other side, drawing closer to him. He was watching you, anticipating your every move. Despite hinting your intention, when you close the distance, hugging him over his neck, his mouth fell opened, as well as his heartbeat accelerated. “I love you,” he heard you whispered in his ear.

He genuinely smiled, “I love you, baby.” He drew forward, sealing it with a sweet and breathtaking kiss.

[xsay10x]

I'll be my own Inquirer

Why so incapable of contemplating this constantly unstable mental state put up with it for a taste of what it feels to be understood for once but is it worth the risk I really need to think this through why I'm reluctant

to share my ideals and opinions tell people what my thoughts are open up with my consciences but cant quite make a coherent sentences so I just hide keep everything inside make sure nothing can come in from the outside because i don't care to confide in the ones who saw something good in me

Wow.. oh! really? what a pussy you see what I mean who talks about their feelings you just need to vibe bro it's not that complex just go with the flow let go stop holding on to the to the shortest rope with the least likelyhood of success

Success what is success dress up for attention have the latest model and nicest brand surrounding yourself with distractions procrastinating instead of contemplating how to be the best you that you want to be

But am I changing for me? or for what I was programmed to be just waiting for directions like the rest of humanity

Stop and take a hit just smile and laugh shut up and start relaxing your attitude is really taxing

How is it, that you can be relaxing while others are slaving away to pay their bills mountains that came from hills

Nah man here just take some more pills I'm not here for this shit

You ain't real enough for this shit just a cog in a machine a dog on a leash careful not to bite the one who feeds

Following orders and deeds obligated to represent reputations neglecting their just vessel a tool being used to confuse the masses they think their the consumers being programmed frequent frequencys colors and pretty flashing lights

Designed to have you mindlessly sitting on the couch smiling neglecting your brain till you go insane till you open of your pouch of pain meds now your addicted but not affected cause your drugs did their job of robbing you of your cognitive thinking now your a cog no need to thrive a bee in hive serve your queen that's not obscene

I'm not trying to instigate these situations I hate but I can't pretend that I dont spectate and sit alone think hold what wait try a lil harder to file my thoughts thought hard about it I feel myself departing no longer hanging I the branch I've hanging on for way to long

I cant let me lose myself cuz I'm all I got I don't care what i was taught I'm not on the clock

Still so unsure what the game plan is but I'm getting more uncomfortable with uncertainty

Let myself stay close to home dont get lost all on my own but still complete that dont mean I want to compete

It's not hard to see that I'm socially inept. I'm begrudgingly accepting the fact that I don't mix with society cuz a part of me has always wanted to blend in but in my own way

Cant even keep track of these days constant reruns don't need the attention I dont want to be in your silly little club or a taste of the sweet life I dont ever want to be a wife

I want stay true to me but when I'm obstructing my own sight its really hard to see who I actually want to be

I went to wander and roam free think for myself try to make it on own but now I'm lost in this labyrinth that is everything I fear everything i hold dear lost in mind and seem to find this part of be that seems to be missing

I'm no longer okay please stay away

I've created a tailored hell just for to sink further into insanity no I don't need help. I'll do it by myself just go away

Or you'll have hell to pay I'm I'm toxic but not just cause I'm sick of all this shit of adjusting and trusting for them to not care what I think

But they dont have to but I'm of hearing bitching from someone whose so insignificant that try to be something superior to me

Why cant we see that were equally capable of maintaining a stable mindset but I know it just goes right over my headset manically depressed or just obsessed trying to breaking away when something's

Telling me I need to stay to find that there will always be pain clean up another blood stain refrain from buying a fresh blade

At a masquerade ball try to find my way but feeling more like im looking in fun house mirrors facing the fears I have of myself

Won't stop complicating everything thing I'm saying can't stop arguing with my self is there really a war going on in my head can't stand the hours I set here laying in bed waiting patiently silently debating constantly switching the side I stand on till I fall find myself laying in bed awake again

Not know how I left myself drifting so long

Being shifty but letting things slip out of control and I don't think I'm holding on to anything but my problems can't keep my promises

I just want to find the common denominator to all this mental labor. But I trapped myself within these these conflicting thoughts

the way I'm feeling can't say just what I'm thinking cant help how far I'm falling

I wont reach out for help... I don't need your help. I dont want your help I just run away from everything right now

Why are all my thoughts consistently conflicting wont stop contradicting what I try to put my mind too

Always finding new ways to contribute to the progression of humanity

I won't stop obsessing I can't bring myself to comply even if I have to lie

Whenever I stand up tall try to make myself different from you all but the universe is so much bigger than us all we don't realize how far we're actually falling

It gets me wondering to where I just sit alone pondering the possibilities of so many diverse realities

The perspectives of everyone. are enough to confuse anyone

Making you feel so discombobulated used to think everyone else was assimilated

Yet it still feels like ive been searching for so long feel my patience slowly slipping away

As my path remain unclear forced myself to stay say I was okay not knowing what that means to me

I fell away blindly moving to go forward into life I thought wanted still struggling to grow up and deal what I've been through not knowing what seems right I dont know how much longer I can stay fight

Wanted so bad to hold onto the mistakes I've learned from but I fell down a rabbit hole everything pulling me back into the habits I want to let go of

I don't know how to move forward I want to go but part of me won't budge

I need a nudge feel free to judge me but who am i judging really why am i comparing all of these people? because I wont let myself see when in comes down to it the only one that i got through it all is me and I need to focus on myself cuz I'm all I have for the long haul but I'm still not ready at all

afraid to receive affection or look at my own reflection not willing to stop and check my agenda hoping to get enough high that it will distract me from my health and keep me from falling into this paradox I call myself

I just have to keep deceiving myself so I cant trick everyone and so I Don't forget to smile and constantly contradict and contort so that they cant see me decaying and semi consciously constraining what im actually thinking because its wrong to think about all the bullshit the majority's put up with an If you can't help but think about it

Just pretend like your okay because that's how you run in the human race

Still can't help ask why I alive? Who is this mask? I'll follow their lead finish the task neglect what need

To fuel the fire that seeds my Insanity

Because I am alright I'm doing fine

I'll say that I'm okay so I dont bare the shame of running away