#im folding like a pretzel

[loregifs]

Tenoch Huerta in Las Aparicio (2015) Dir. Moisés Ortiz Urquidi

[crabfungi]

Okay so I come into your blog with idea

Six armed eclipse but here's the thing

His top arms have 2 joints along the arm so more movement

The same for his legs

That is all

*vanishes leaving a single peanut behind*

Inhales the peanut

To quote a wise man "ok, what purpose does this serve for the education and care of children?"

CODY you smart fellow you 🫵🫵. sorry it took me awhile i was busy doing stuff (kicking ass in splatfest, crying over my need for a new deltarune chapter, you know how it be)

Ft. Self Indulgent doodle

also i think we need to study the dca fandoms obsession with turning the attendant into spider

[theostrophywife]

focus on me.

pairing: mattheo riddle x reader request: I NEED MATHEO OR THEODORE X FEM READER AND SHE JUST LOVES HIS HANDS AND ARM VIENS AND SHE WALKS INTO HIS DORM AND IS GOBSMAKED TO SEE HIS ABS AND SHE WANTS TO RIDE THEM AND SHES JUST SO OBSESSED AND THINKS HES THE HOTTEST MAN IN THE PLANET- AND SHE FOLDS LIKE A PRETZEL WHEN HE GIVES HER THOSE EYES- JESUS IM A CATHOLIC BUT THEO AND MATTHEO COULD BE MY NEW RELIGION- author's note: big thanks to @writingsbychlo for listening to me rant about this man in her inbox. posting this now so she can wake up to her mans. the way that i would fold for mattheo so fast (theo look away). anyways, enjoy this purely smutty fic 😮‍💨

You were supposed to be studying. 

When you came into his dorm, you specifically told Mattheo not to interrupt you under any circumstances. Usually, you preferred the library but some prat had accidentally set off a dung bomb, which meant closure until further notice. 

You tried studying in your dorm, but your fellow housemates decided that there was no better time to throw a back to school bash in the common room than the night before your Ancient Runes exam. Harry and Ron, who shared the same class, appeared completely unbothered as they chugged firewhisky straight from the bottle. 

Your roommate Hermione was long gone. Probably holed up somewhere in the dungeons with Draco. You followed your friend’s cue and snuck into your boyfriend’s dorm, narrowly avoiding Filch. It never seemed fair that the Slytherins got individual rooms, but tonight you had never been more thankful for it. 

Mattheo had set up a whole battle station for you on his desk. There were fresh ink pots, newly sharpened quills, and blank parchment waiting for you when you arrived. After kissing your sweet and considerate boyfriend, you went straight to work. 

By the time midnight struck, the parchment was filled with glowing runes, making your ink stained hands cramp from drawing out the symbols over and over again. To Mattheo’s credit, he kept to himself and read quietly on his bed while you studied. 

You were so engrossed in the material that you barely registered him kissing you on the cheek before leaving to take a shower. That little mistake cost you because as soon as he walked back into his dorm with nothing but a towel on, you nearly spilled fresh ink all over yourself. 

Water trickled down Mattheo’s chest, the little droplets snaking through his perfectly chiseled abs only to disappear beyond his v lines, which pointed like an arrow to what you knew was hiding underneath that towel. 

The fabric hung dangerously low on his hips as he walked over to his dresser to pick out something to wear. You watched with rapt attention as he braced himself against the wood, those delicious, juicy veins protruding from his forearms and nearly making you dizzy with desire. 

Finally, Mattheo turned. The silence had caught his attention and he smirked when he saw you ogling him. 

“See something you like, pretty girl?”

You flushed. “Just got a little distracted.”

Mattheo’s grin grew. He sauntered over to you, leaning over so that he had you caged against the desk. 

“Oh?” he asked, his voice low and husky and absolutely fucking sexy. “Maybe it’s time for a break then. You’ve been such a good girl studying so hard all night. I think you deserve a reward, my love.” 

Your breath hitched as Mattheo’s lips grazed yours. He tilted your chin up, giving you a perfect view of those brown eyes. Then he gave you the look and you knew you were done for. 

It was a look that said he wanted to devour every inch of you until you couldn’t even recall your own name. You gave in. Of course you gave in. How could you not?

“Maybe for a second…”

Mattheo took the opening. One arm snaked around your waist, bringing you up with him as he pressed you against the desk. His other arm crept up your back until he reached the nape of your neck, fisting your hair through his fingers as he kissed you roughly. 

“Do you even know how fucking sexy you are, princess? My smart schoolgirl in her tiny little skirt.” 

Mattheo carefully moved your studying materials aside before picking you up and setting you down on the table. He gripped the top of your thighs and brought you to the edge while sliding his tongue against yours. You whimpered as he grinded against you, showing you exactly how hard he was underneath the towel.

“Been thinking about bending you over this table all night,” Mattheo whispered in your ear. His hand climbed higher up your thigh and you felt your body instantly respond to his touch. “Bet you’re soaking wet for me already, aren’t you angel?”

You moaned as he toyed with the waistband of your panties. “Matty, please.” 

Your boyfriend smiled at your nickname for him, knowing that he had you right where he wanted you. “What is it that you want, darling?”

“Touch me. Please.” 

Mattheo smirked as he tugged your panties off. His lust filled gaze drank you in as he dragged two fingers through your slick folds. 

“Fuck. You’re so wet. Is this all for me, princess?”

“Mhm,” you mumbled, nipping at his neck. “It’s not fair. You play dirty, Matty. You can’t just walk in here with nothing but a towel on.” 

“Why not, angel?”

You sighed, tracing the hard planes of his chest. His muscles flexed under your fingertips as you gently raked your nails against his six pack. “Because you’re sexy and I can’t help myself.” 

Mattheo chuckled darkly, plunging two fingers in your pussy. You bucked against his hand, watching in stunned silence as he withdrew it only to stick his middle and pointer finger into his mouth. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he tasted you on him. 

“This is exactly what I mean,” you whined. “For Godric’s fucking sake, how am I supposed to concentrate after that?”

“Maybe we can compromise, angel.” He shuffled through your parchments and stuck one to the wall. “I’m going to trace the runes inside of you and if you get them all right, then I’ll give you your reward.”

You swallowed thickly and nodded. Mattheo grinned before giving you a quick peck. “Pay attention, sweetheart.” 

His fingers dipped through your folds once more and you gripped his arm, fighting the moan from escaping your lips. Mattheo curled his fingers inside of you, drawing a familiar shape. 

“Urus,” you said in a breathy voice. “It means strength.”

“That’s right, angel.” He shifted as you ran your hands down his arms. You could feel his veins throbbing underneath your palm as he fingered you. “Don’t get distracted now. I know how much you love my hands. I promise they’ll be wrapped around your throat by the end of the night if you get all these right. Now focus.”

You nodded, eyes fluttering close as he traced another rune. “Algiz,” you answered. “For protection.” 

“Hot and smart,” Mattheo announced proudly. “How’d I get so lucky?”

His lips grazed yours and you willingly parted for him, fluttering around his fingers as his tongue slid into your mouth. He pumped his digits inside of you, teasing and taunting. 

“Let’s try something harder, princess.” 

Mattheo’s skillful fingers prodded against your walls, sketching a complicated shape. You closed your eyes and focused. It was a tricky one, but you remembered the cris cross pattern. 

“Inguz,” you said decidedly. “Fertility.” 

“That’s right,” Mattheo said with a smile. “You're doing so well, sweetheart. One more and you can have anything you want.” 

“Anything?” you asked with a small smile.

“Whatever that devious little mind of yours desires, my love.” 

“Okay,” you replied. “I’m ready, then.”

Your boyfriend nodded, staring right into your eyes as he marked the last and final rune. It was an effort not to get lost in those warm, brown eyes. But you steeled yourself, determined to claim your prize.

“Rerth. For luck.”

“Good girl,” Mattheo said with a smirk. “Fitting since you’re getting lucky tonight, angel. Where should we start?” 

You bit your lip, cocking your head at him. It was nearly an impossible choice. You wanted to kiss him. Bite him. Lick him. All of the above and more. 

But there was one thing that stood out from all the other deliciously sinful choices. You pressed your palm against his abs and grinned. 

“I want to ride your abs.”

Mattheo’s eyes widened. He hadn’t expected it, but fuck he was so down. He would’ve given you anything with the way you were looking at him right now. 

“You never fail to surprise me,” he said fondly. “Well come on then, let’s make your filthy little fantasy a reality.” 

In one smooth move, he lifted you off the table and deposited you on top of his bed. Mattheo reclined against the headboard and watched with hungry eyes as you straddled his stomach. He smiled as you slipped the tie off your neck and looped it around him. 

It was a simple move, but so fucking sexy and possessive at the same time. You were claiming him. Mattheo was yours and you were his. You belonged to one another—mind, body, and soul. 

Mattheo trailed kisses down your neck and throat, leaving marks on your skin as his deft fingers made quick work of the first few buttons on your blouse. He leaned back and admired his work, his hands gripping your hips while you grinded your soaking wet sex against his muscles. 

He didn’t think it would feel this good. There was something about you using his body to get yourself off that fucking turned him on like no other. Mattheo lifted your skirt up, fisting the fabric in his hands and watching as you coated him with your arousal. 

The little whimpers you were making sounded like music to his ears. “My good little slut,” he said, squeezing your tits as you rode him with reckless abandon. “You’re so fucking filthy, baby. Using me to get yourself off. I’m just your fuck toy aren’t I princess?”

“So good,” you murmured. “You feel so good, Matty.”

The desperation in your voice set him off. He gripped your hips hard enough to bruise and bucked forward, smirking in satisfaction when you moaned. The ridges of his abs rubbed against your clit, providing the perfect amount of pressure to the sensitive area. 

“Keep riding me,” he said in a low, rough voice. “Just like that, angel. Such a good girl for me.”

You closed your eyes, lost to the waves of pleasure coursing through your body. Mattheo gripped your chin, his voice rough around the edges as he spoke. “Open your eyes, darling. I want to watch you cum.”

His rich brown eyes pinned you in place, drinking in every detail. That sexy smirk curved against his lips as he hooked his arms behind his head, admiring the view of his girl riding him. 

“Look at you, baby. You’re making such a fucking mess. Such an innocent face, but you turn into a filthy whore when you’re with me.” 

“Only for you, Mattheo.” 

“Damn fucking right,” he said, sliding his hands under your skirt to rub at your clit. 

You bucked against him, riding out the high. Heat exploded in your core and seeped into your veins. Mattheo kissed you roughly, staking his claim on you as he devoured your moans. 

“That’s it, princess. Cum for me, pretty girl.”

The orgasm felt like a lightning strike. It hit you all at once, making your walls spasm as you came all over Mattheo’s abs. He cursed when he felt you soaking him through, utterly turned on by the mess that you’ve made. Mattheo had never been harder in his life. 

Your boyfriend peppered kisses on your face, pulling you taut to him as you came down from the high. Mattheo brushed a lock of hair behind your ear, tilting your chin up so he could press his lips against yours. He groaned and held your hips down, grinding his boner against your ass. 

“I’m not done making you cum, princess. You’ve got one more in you, don’t you angel?” 

As sensitive as you were, your pussy throbbed at his words. When it came to Mattheo, you could never really get enough. 

“I thought I only got one reward. You’re spoiling me, Matty.” 

“There’s no question about it. You’re my spoiled rotten little princess. But this reward isn’t for you, it’s for me.” He smacked your ass, gesturing for you to get up. “Now come on, angel. I was serious about that desk.” 

He smirked as he walked you back to his desk, his hands disappearing underneath your skirt as he massaged your ass. Mattheo kissed you roughly before he flipped you over, bending you on the desk so you were face down and ass up. He flipped your skirt up, hissing when he found you soaking wet again.

“You just can’t help yourself can you, princess?” He pumped himself in his hand before sliding the tip of his cock along your folds. “Gods, you’re fucking wet. Are you ready, baby?” 

You whimpered, rocking your hips against him for more friction. Mattheo held you in place, fisting your hair in his hands. 

“Use your words, darling. I want to hear you beg like the good little slut that you are.” 

“Please, Matty,” you whined. “I need you so badly that it hurts.” 

He kissed the base of your spine, grinning as he eased his length inside of you. Still sensitive from your last orgasm, you gripped the edges of the table as Mattheo buried his cock within your walls. Your legs felt like they were going to give out any minute, but he kept you upright, cursing when he felt how wet and tight you were. 

“Fuck,” he grunted as he thrust into you slowly. Mattheo gripped you from behind, picking up the pace. Your pussy clenched around him like a vice. “Gods, pussy’s so good baby. You’re doing so well. Taking all of me like my perfect little whore.” 

Mattheo fucking adored the way you blushed at his filthy words. He leaned over, capturing your lips in a sloppy kiss as he fucked you into the table. He thought he was going to pass the fuck out when you grinded back into him, meeting his movements to take more and more of him. Mattheo leaned over and shielded your head from the wall, making sure you were protected as the table shook underneath you. 

The sound of skin slapping against skin mixed with your breathy little moans was enough to send him over the edge, but he wanted to make good on his promise. Mattheo always put his girl first. The boys were right. He might be just a little bit pussy whipped. 

Even without the sex, you could’ve asked Mattheo to kill for you and he would’ve done so without question. 

“I fucking love you, darling. I’d kill for you. I’d die for you,” he said, every word laced with conviction. “Forever and always.” 

“I love you too, Matty. Forever and always.” 

He kissed your cheek, the action surprisingly soft compared to how rough the sex was. You felt like you could’ve melted onto the floor. 

“Cum with me, my love.” 

Mattheo wrapped his arms around you as that familiar heat spread burned in your core. He held you as the orgasm rocked through your body, sharing in the euphoric high while the two of you finished together. His grip around you only tightened, hugging you from behind while he slowly pulled out. You were barely keeping upright as it was, your legs threatening to give out under you. 

Without a word, your boyfriend scooped you into his arms and brought you back to bed. He cradled you against him, whispering praises and encouragement while stroking your hair. 

“You did so well, baby. I’m so proud of you for remembering all those runes. You’re gonna ace your exam tomorrow.” 

“You really think so, Matty?” You snuggled against him, burying your head in the crook of his neck. Mattheo stroked your back and placed a kiss on your temple. 

“I know so, darling. You have no idea how proud I am for having such a smart girlfriend. I love bragging about you to our friends.” 

You flushed. “Well, I couldn’t have done it all on my own. I had some help from my smart, sweet, and sexy study partner.

Mattheo grinned and kissed you gently. “Glad to be of service, my love.” 

taglist: @annaisabookworm @marina468

please let me know if you'd like to be added.

[kath-artic]

skinny little freak boys have always been my type on paper but dear god do i gravitate towards hairy men with a good bit of meat on their bones in practice. my taste in women is pretty consistent.

[desertdxg]

i think i can vouch for goalies being a lil freaky

[kentocee]

So Anxious • Gojo x Fem!reader • (18+)

CW: smut( sexting, nudes, dirty talk, masturbation, gojo being unnecessarily horny for reader, impatient!gojo), slight humor bc gojo is VERY unserious 😭

Cee’s Note: I heard this song on tik tok and it instantly reminded me of Gojo (don’t ask) but I hope y’all enjoy

Song inspo: So anxious by Genuwine

[Minors do NOT interact; explicit content ahead]

Satoru: Babe

Y/N: Yes?

Satoru: come thru ;)

**Delivered**

It was embarrassing the amount of times Gojo checked his messages to see if you responded to him.

Granted it only was a couple minutes but with his growing erection tightening his pants, his patience was running thin.

He knew you were at work but he was hoping you would be out already to help him with his little…problem.

Suddenly he noticed his phone lit up due to a notification and he nearly dropped his phone, fumbling to unlock it.

***

Y/N: im at work but I should be there in 30

Satoru: seconds? :D

Y/N: …

Y/N: minutes -.-

Satoru: :(

Satoru: :((

Satoru: thats too looooong :(((

Y/N: BYE! Ur so dramatic lmaoo

Y/N: ill be there before u kno it

Y/N: and then im all yours tonight ;)

Satoru: but I have a bit of a problem…

***

The tightness was becoming unbearable to the point where his print was visibly showing through his sweatpants. Suddenly it was as if a lightbulb appeared above his head.

***

Satoru: *image attachment*

Satoru: u see my dilemma

Y/N: OH

Y/N: O.O

Y/N: that’s a BIG problem alright

Y/N: it might be too much for me to handle

***

You were such a tease. Acting all innocent as if Gojo hasn’t had you folded like a pretzel on many occasions. But this was usually how it started. You feigned innocence and next thing you know Gojo would end up sending detailed messages on how exactly he planned to fuck you later on.

He knew this all too well, yet here he was falling for it yet again. Usually he was the one doing the teasing but the times when he was needy you were quick to seize the opportunity.

***

Satoru: my baby can handle it ;)

Y/N: and what if it doesn’t fit

Satoru: oh imma make it fit

Satoru: and u gonna take it like a good girl

Satoru: u gonna be a good girl for me?

Y/N: yes baby only for u ;)

***

“Sh-shit” Gojo groaned through gritted teeth, palming himself under his sweatpants.

The thought of him stretching your tight pussy to fit his size made his dick twitch subconsciously. He can just imagine the way your mouth would hang open and eyes widen as he bottoms out inside you. He can just imagine all the whines and moans through your pretty lips you make on his dick.

***

Y/N: how u want me to take it?

Satoru: want ur arms and legs around me

Satoru: want u so close to me

Satoru: wanna see ur pretty face wen I fuck u

Y/N: mmm can’t wait ;)

Satoru: i cant either

Satoru: need u so bad rn baby

Satoru: need to feel u

Satoru: need to hear your pretty moans in my ear

**Delivered**

All this dirty talk was just making him hornier by the second and he didn’t think he could wait much longer.

After a couple minutes, Gojo was once again checking his phone, anxiously waiting for your response. The longer he waited for your responses the more anxious he was getting.

After five minutes and no response, he knew you were still teasing him. Got him riled up and left him high and dry.

Oh how cruel.

His eyes wandered to the time almost as if it would go faster the longer he gazed at it.

“Fuck it”

Gojo slipped down his sweatpants and briefs, his cock springing out, bobbing slightly.

He closed his eyes and imagined his fist was your wet pussy. He started stroking himself at a desperate pace, trying to release what he’s been holding for what felt like hours.

The sounds of his low moans and wet sounds filled the air as he continued to chase his pleasure.

Just when he could feel himself reaching close, he heard a door opening from outside his room.

“Babe! I’m home”

Oh shit.

Gojo practically fell out his bed trying to pull his underwear and sweatpants back on.

When he finally made it out his room, he found you by the front door hanging your coat up and taking your shoes off.

“There you are! I told you I’d be home before y- TORU!”

Gojo had scooped you up and brought you over his shoulder, having your ass next to his head as your body dangled behind him.

Gojo brought his hand up and smacked your ass, “That’s for leaving me hanging earlier”

“I dunno what you mean”

He couldn’t see it but he knew you were smirking behind him. Oh you were gonna be in for it.

With that, Gojo ran to his bedroom with you over his shoulder. He was bout to make his imagination a reality.

[tddyhyck]

dreamies fav positions?

any and all ..

(idk correct names so im just gonna describe lol)

mark is a soft lover boy so he’s doing missionary but,, loves when you ride him so you can moan into his ear

renjun when soft ,, spooning for sure but when being rough he’d take you from behind and tug your hair back

my man jeno idk what this is called but receiver if on their back but their hips are twisted sideways so he can grab your ass and your tits while he sees your face ,,, also anytime he can blow your back out

don’t even get me started on hyuck and mating press,,, RUFF RUFF (i’m feral for him) also think he would be into you riding (OBV) AND 69 he’s def a 69er

jaemin needs to flex (literally) his strength so if he’s holding you up (full nelson) or he’s really sensual and soft think kneeling behind you and holding you close whispering and caressing

chenle needs to see your face bc he gets off on your reactions,, so anything where he sees you but especially when your on your back and your legs are on his shoulders and he can manipulate and fold you in any direction

in the beginning jisung is very vanilla very basic missionary maybe doggy if he’s crazy,, but overtime he gets adventurous and bends you like a pretzel i think he would be on google like “positions to spice up your sex life” and go from there lol

[ivysangel]

rough and mean dick grayson… god i need him to fuck me til im all 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 on his cock

dicks got that DAWG in him!! i wouldn't put it past him to be a little (a lot) nasty in bed, plus he's a D1 dirty talker like that man is just filthy with his words. i think half of it is how rough he is and the other half is the fact that the words that come out of his mouth are fucking insane?? like fucking him when he's being like that is anti-feminist honestly. also, he folds you like you're the trained acrobat ?? so you're literally twisted like a fucking pretzel while taking his cock at a relentless place, and speaking in tongues because you can't form a sentence.

[aroacewxs]

wxs and how they sleep

tsukasa

late, light sleeper. tired of seeing "tsukasa gets all his eight hours!" NO. HE DOES NOT. HE IS BARELY GETTING BY. HE IS RUNNING ON HOPES AND DREAMS AND SPITE AND HOPES AND DREAMS AND SPITE ONLY. he would chide everyone else around him to sleep early and rest up while he sleeps at 3 trying to perfect one line that is bothering him deeply to his core like an itch under your skin. sleeps on his back, that loser. HANDS FOLDED ACROSS HIS STOMACH TOO LMAOOOOOOO. i also feel like he would try sleeping on the floor after hearing that it's good for your back.

he starts the night on his back and his hands folded but he tosses and turns and wakes up on the floor twisted like a Baked Pretzel with unbearable neck pain and mystery bruises on his legs. he wakes up to the smallest bump in the night and takes ages to fall back asleep. at some point after staring up at his ceiling for an hour he decides that it's hopeless and reads up on theatre instead.

it is also canon he snores, so for the small amount of time he IS asleep, he's doing it very very loudly and obnoxiously

emu

early, deep sleeper. drools. the official Snrrkk Mimimi of wxs. emu is the type of person to have bubbles pop out of her nose when she snores. she literally has "z's" floating above her and escaping throughout her window and into the night sky when she sleeps. emu is the type of person to wake up to roosters going cock a doodle doo and leap out of her bed (with her blankets being made instantly in the process). sleeps on her side, cuddles with pillows and stuffies!

i also think emu would fall asleep very easily on any kind of vehicle if she wasn't excited about every little thing that happens on these rides. car? oh my god, look! cows! plane? are you kidding! she's literally airborne! what is there not to be excited about! boat? are you kidding! she's literally floating! what is there not to be excited about! and was that a fish???

it is also canon that she sleep talks. which is so fitting. she really is a cartoon character

nene

late, deep sleeper. sleep talker. sleeps on her side and occasionally on her stomach with one leg propped up, arms up as if she were surrendering to the police. nene falls victim to the 3-5pm eepiness every time, well knowing that she will not be able to sleep later when she's supposed to and ends up playing video games instead.

when she IS asleep though, nene is as still as a rock. you cannot move her. you cannot wake her up. if someone were to shake her awake, she'd be cranky all throughout breakfast. she has to slide out of bed, blankets wrapped around her body, and slowly make her way to the kitchen on her own accord with little bubbles popping around her head, all cartoon-esque.

rui

late, light sleeper. sleep talker. SLEEP LAUGHER. also has the weirdest dreams, some he itches to tell his friends and use as show inspiration, some leave him sitting there, half awake, wondering what the fuck he just dreamt as he blinks away the sleep in his eyes in dazed confusion.

his sleeping position is sitting, face smushed against blueprints on his desk. unfortunately. but if he were to actually drag himself to his garage couch or to his room (im pretty sure he has a bedroom, but doesn't go there because he spends so much time in his work room), he would free fall onto his face and sleep on his stomach and then wake up on his side or a weird twist of sorts.

[zhongrin]

RIN IM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH ACTUALLY—

are you

are you saying this man is

buffer than haitham???? ???? ???

holy archon macaroni

fold me in a half like a pretzel and breed me rn sir pls and thank u

[ja3minz]

ranking nct dream on who has the best stamina

(aka who’s gonna bust the quickest) — inspired by a thread i saw on twt

7 — renjun

okay this might be a controversial pick but…hear me out. he’s impatient to the core and he can’t control himself when it comes to you. i don’t wanna say you can train him to be better at it but you can lmfao. he makes up for it by a lot of foreplay, probably makes you cum with his fingers or mouth a time or two. but once he’s out, he’s out. like i could see him nutting and then wanting to go right to sleep honestly. he’s like drained, but he kind of loves the feeling it’s why he likes you so much.

6 — jisung

as an (amazing) dancer i know he probably has incredible stamina and has the possibility of being able to go, but c’mon. so sensitive. the feeling of a warm, tight hole pulsating on his dick, your moans, the intimacy of it all. he wouldn’t be able to control himself. but he could definitely go for multiple rounds, because once he’s started he just wants more. i kinda see jisung as the bf that wants to fuck all the time and not in a bad way he’s just so into you.

5 — jeno

i just think he can easily get wrapped up in the moment of it. i just have this image of him (strong boy) having you folded up like a goddamn pretzel and he just loses himself and it’s like he’s a whole different person. eyes rolled, toes curled, hands gripping you tight, he just loses it. he isn’t super quick though, he does last long enough. there’s been a time or two where you didn’t get to cum and he felt awful about it (bc he also tires out quick when he cums) but it’s because he puts so much into it. definitely, like. one of the roughest ones in bed.

4 — mark

okay, it’s kind of a 50/50 shot for mark i think. depending on, like, how much time he has, how tired he is, how horny he is, in the perfect scenario he can go all night but he also can go quickly. i don’t know, i think he’s probably great at quickies. i also get the feeling he doesn’t have to stall for time by pulling out, he can just sit inside of you and pace himself. if that makes any sense.

3 — jaemin

jaem’s best feature is that he’s fantastic at stalling and you almost don’t even realize how long it’s been. like he’ll have you so fucked out with his words and his fingers alone that by the time he gets his dick in you that you’re the one cumming quickly. he also likes to take his time with you, spends a lot of time on foreplay, likes edging you, again he gets you so wound up that he doesn’t even have to fuck you yet.

2 — haechan

also a fantastic staller thanks to that motormouth. he can dirty talk you for hours, intentionally edges you (and himself) to prolong it because he just likes having sex. the atmosphere of it is addicting, he loves being wrapped in you and having you at his mercy (or the other way around). he can go for quite a while honestly and i also think he cums a lot. 🙊 not that that has anything to do with anything but.

1 — chenle

oh you cant tell me this man can’t go hours. chenle the type to fuck you until your brains numb. until your so sore you can’t move. he’s the type to fuck you so good you don’t have to touch yourself for at least a week, you’re keen to just wait for him. also you’re just so sensitive that you need the time to recoup. you could start at 8pm and finish at 3am and im not kidding. you need to have water ready, it’s a marathon. he likes it entirely too much when you’re a puddle of nothing because of him.

[bluerosetarot]

Everyone on Task Force 141 knew you had a date tonight since you'd been going on and on about it for the past week, so when you come back to base with puffy cheeks and eyes still red from crying a certain someone comes to comfort you.

Tags: female reader x Simon "Ghost" Riley, hurt/comfort, mild descriptions of violence (Simon wants to hurt whoever hurt you, after all), PIV rebound sex.

Tagging @the-californicationist because you wanted me to tag you once I posted this.

You hadn't been with the task force for long, but your presence had certainly had an impact on the team as a whole in the year and a half you'd been around. Being the youngest and shortest had earned you official "little sister" status despite the fact you could toss all of them around at hand to hand practice thanks to your lower center of gravity and aikido background, with the exception of Simon. That man was not only tall but was surprisingly flexible, which you took as a personal challenge.

"One of these days I'm going to topple you, Ghost." You'd all just come back from a sparring match and were sitting around a table enjoying your beverages of choice.

"Of course you will, sweet'eart." He'd smile behind his cuppa without looking at you, but you could see the slight wrinkles around the corners of his eyes. "An' one 'a these days Price'll start layin' golden eggs so we can all retire."

So imagine everyone's surprise when you mention you were seeing someone, a civvie you'd met on a dating app. You'd been gushing over your crush and hadn't noticed Soap playfully nudge Simon in his side or the glare the taller man gave him in return.

"Going out to see him on next leave, said he wanted to take me somewhere nice for dinner. And before any of you try anything I don't need backup, or shadowed, or anything else. I know we're all a little paranoid here but I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself."

"Not you we'd be worried about, luv." Gaz gave you a knowing smile before continuing. "We're worried about the poor guy getting folded like a pretzel if 'is 'ands go anywhere they shouldn't, y'know?"

It took you a few months before you could properly go on a date; a mission got in the way, but you promised your new beau that as soon as you got back from your classified trip you'd be all his. Whenever you could, you messaged him, even sending him a few spicy pictures over the course of your flirting.

When the special night finally came around, you snuck off to your quarters to put on a lovely little black dress and did your makeup as best you could. Taking a look at yourself in the mirror, you psyched yourself up and inwardly hoped that you wouldn't run into anyone on your way out. That hope was quickly dashed upon the rocks of reality when you nearly ran into the brick wall named Ghost as you left the washroom.

"Bloody Jesus, Ghost. Trying to give me a heart attack?"

His answer was to scoff under his mask and lean against the wall beside you, those brown eyes of his looking you over as he slowly shook his head.

"Got no place to 'ide a knife, gun, or anythin' else. Sure you don't need any backup, luv?"

"I appreciate your concern, LT, but I should be fine."

He backed away with a chuckle, not expecting your tone to be so dry and he held up his hands in an appeasing gesture.

"Roight, roight. Well, knock 'im dead, luv. But if you aren't back by midnight, we'll all assume you turned into a pumpkin 'an start a search party. Deal?"

"Deal."

Your date went a bit... less than stellar. When you arrived at the restaurant, he'd been nearly a half hour late and was dressed more casual than you, but you weren't used to being all dolled up either so you gave him the benefit of the doubt. Conversation was minimal with him mostly talking about himself as you sat there bored until he hit you with a bombshell.

"You're hot like this, but now that you're my girl you're going to have to give up this whole military thing."

You'd been about to take a bite of food and nearly dropped your fork from laughing at what you thought was a joke, but he just got irritated.

"I'm serious. You can't go wasting your prime childbearing years pretending to be an action hero."

"Excuse me?" You matched his tone, a bit of annoyance seeping into your words. "What happened to you going nuts over my career plans? How you said you always liked a 'girl in uniform'?"

"Uniforms are hot, but I figured once we met, you'd realize you wanted a nice civilian life and leave all that fantasy behind you."

"Uh-huh..." Flagging down your waiter, you asked for the check. "I'll take my half of the check, please. This date is over."

"You can't just fucking leave!"

"I can..." Giving your card to the waiter, you then locked eyes with your sad excuse for a date. "And I will. See? I'm doing it right now."

Once your tab had been taken care of, you made a beeline for the door with the guy chasing after you, yelling at you to change your mind. He made the mistake of trying to grab your wrist, and you managed an aikido move that brought him down to a knee.

"You don't get to touch me that way, got it?"

You'd leaned down to stare daggers into him, a look you'd perfected from watching Ghost, and your failed date nodded in fear as he got up and backed away.

Turning on your heel, you made it to your car and closed the door before slumping over your steering wheel with a sigh. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, a mixture of sadness and anger. Willing yourself to wait until you got back to base for a good cry, you started the car and headed back but couldn't help a few stray tears from rolling down your cheeks.

It was a little past 2300 when you got back to base and, to your disappointment, there were a few lights still on. You'd hoped to take your walk of shame without anyone noticing, but fate had other plans. You hadn't realized that everyone in 141 was worried for you and stayed up to wait for you to come home.

Which meant that you opened the door to the common area, and four sets of eyes instantly looked up at you. All of them taking note of your tear streaked makeup making you feel warm and nervous.

Soap was the first one to speak up, cutting the tension with a joke.

"Aye, lass, who we needin' to knife up for ya?"

Price sat to his right and gave him a very good "not now" look as you clenched your jaw in annoyance.

"Don't want to talk about it." You turned to the Captain and gave him a polite nod. "Heading to bed, sir."

Taking a thoughtful puff of his cigar, he returned your nod.

"Right, everyone here should do the same. Lights out, everyone."

Gaz and Soap reluctantly got up. You could read it plain as day on their faces they wanted to pepper you with a thousand questions, but stern looks from both Price and Ghost made them think twice, and they both wished you a good night and hurried off to their rooms. Price followed after them after giving you one final concerned glance before heading down the hall.

It was Ghost that put a comforting hand on your shoulder. He had a way of sneaking up on everyone even when he was in plain sight, and this situation was no different. You tried your best to compose yourself before meeting his gaze, but something in his eyes made you break down when your eyes met and you let out a soft sound somewhere between a cry and a whimper.

"Fucking christ, look at me. All bent out of shape over little more than a schoolyard crush."

"If 'e 'urt ya I know plenty a places to hide a body 'round 'ere."

Where Soap has been jovial, you could tell Ghost was serious, and you couldn't stop an involuntary shiver creep down your spine before shaking your head.

"Not worth the effort, Ghost. But I appreciate it. Damn chauvinist thought I'd get one look at him and want to stop all my work here and pop out babies."

That got a laugh from the larger man, a deep rumble in his chest.

"Th' public doesn't realize all tha' we do to keep the world spinnin', luv. If you 'ad never joined up with us, who knows 'ow our missions would've gone. You've been damn good at not only covering our sixes on multiple occasions but..."

He trailed off, catching himself before he said something further. But this only made you more curious since this was the most words you'd ever hear the man string together outside of mission briefings.

"But what?"

"But... christ this is a bit embarrassing but you remind all of us what we're fightin' for, y'know? You remind us that we aren't just killin' machines an' that we're 'uman. That we do this to protect 'umanity, outside and within. Y' deserve someone who understands tha', not some chav bloke who sees y' as just a baby factory."

The hand that was on your shoulder went up to smooth his short hair back as his eyes looked away from yours. You thanked whatever god was up there that he did because he didn't see the blush creeping into your cheeks.

"Uhh... th-thanks, Ghost."

Those eyes locked back onto yours, and you could see the telltale crinkle of wrinkles at the corners of his eyes that betrayed his smile.

"Y' can call me Simon, luv. Just between the two of us, yeah?"

"Yeah. I'll keep that in mind."

A heavy sigh left your lips, and you gave him a small smile.

"Simon. Think, uh... think you would want to join me for a bit tonight? It's been nice talking to someone who understands what's going on in my head."

That got an eyebrow raise from him, and he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Y' propositionin' your commanding officer now?"

His tone was low, tinted with humor, but his rough voice made it sound suggestive all the same. He left the question open, and it emboldened your reply.

"Well I need someone to really show me the difference between a "chav bloke" and a real man, don't I?"

With a look over his shoulder down the hall towards the barracks proper, no doubt making sure everyone else was already in bed, he nodded and gestured for you to lead the way.

"Ladies first, luv."

That earned him a playful punch in the arm, and you grabbed his hand in yours, leading him down the hall to your quarters.

Once inside your room with the door shut tight behind you, Simon was looming over you, pressing your body to the wall. In the dim light of your room you could barely see his eyes as they looked you over once more while his hand came up to cup your cheek.

"Y' sure about this, luv? Not that I mind bein' a rebound but I want to make sure y' really want this..."

He knew how to catch you off guard, that's for sure, and you gave him a reassuring nod. Your own hand reaching up to glide along his that caressed your face so gently, a welcome juxtaposition to his normally cold demeanor.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I'm actually glad that you, uh..."

Now it was your turn to stifle words better left unsaid, though those swallowed words turned into heat and crimson on your neck and cheeks as embarrassment kept you from saying what was really on your mind.

In truth you'd always had a "thing" for the big badass types, the "scary dogs", outcasts, loners, and Gho- Simon, you reminded yourself, ticked off all the boxes to pique your interest. He'd always given off just enough tidbits about himself, crumbs that you had devoured in the fire of your curiosity that only proved to stoke it into a further inferno. The date you'd gone on tonight? He was meant to be a distraction from the man you couldn't have had, shouldn't have been able to have, yet here he was gazing down into your very soul in your quarters.

"Glad? Glad for wha', luv?"

Simon had picked up on that thread you left dangling and you could hear the smirk in his voice as he pressed further. Both his body squeezing against you and his words pressing the opening he'd found.

"Glad y' got th' big, scary Ghost as y' own personal toy for th' night? Glad that you'll get to experience a real man in y' bed tonoight?"

Each word brought his face closer to yours and you watched as his hand slid from your cheek to his mask, pulling it down past his mouth and finally letting you see his face. Your mind went blank for a second as you took in his features for the brief moment he hovered in front of you before he buried his face in your neck to kiss the sensitive skin there.

The kiss was gentle, lips pressing to your jugular as your heart raced so fast you could swear he'd be able to feel your pulse through his lips. Even gentle as it was you couldn't stop the soft sound that escaped your own lips.

"Am I on the money, sweet'eart? You been 'oping I'd get jealous or somethin' like that?"

Teeth grazed against your neck and a jolt of pleasurable lightning raced down your spine.

"Well... between you an' me... I've been very jealous, luv. 'Ere I thought some young bloke was gonna steal you away from us, from me, before I got to show you 'ow I felt about you..."

As his lips and teeth continued to explore your neck his hand grabbed yours and brought it down to palm at his tented trousers, the size of him made you gasp involuntarily and you felt his low rumbling laughter deep in his chest.

"S-simon... I've never had someone so... so... big before."

"Don't worry, sweet'eart... I'll take my time and show you 'ow a true gentleman treats a lady like yourself."

Simon picked you up with ease, walking the few steps to the bed and setting you down on the edge. No sooner had your backside met the mattress he was hiking up that short black dress over your thighs to expose the matching black lace panties you had worn.

"You were plannin' on spoilin' that bloke tonight, weren't you, sweet'eart? Or, an' correct me if I'm wrong..."

His thick, calloused fingers pressed against your clothed slit, finding your nub and rubbing it through the scant cotton and lace as his eyes locked onto yours again.

"...Or were you 'opin' that 'e'd left you alone and that this exact scenario would 'appen, you comin' back to base wantin' me to 'elp you feel better?"

"F-fuck, Simon... I... ahh... that's n-not what I was hoping for at all..."

He rolled his eyes, not believing you, and slid the panties aside to slide one finger inside to entice a moan from you.

"Christ! Fine, yes, I.. I wanted my date to be you tonight... but how am I supposed to bring that up? Just walk up to you and say "hey, LT, how's about a shag tonight after supper?""

That earned you a second finger inside and another laugh.

"I knew y' were a brat at trainin' but damn am I glad you aren't a shrinkin' violet in the bedroom. Makes this more fun."

For what felt like an eternity he slowly widened you in preparation for his shaft. Simon was a patient man, for the most part, but those moans and sounds you were making for him and him alone were wearing down that patience. Still, he had promised to treat you like a proper lady and only when he could slide three fingers inside easily did he stop his work.

"Do us a favor and clean these off for me, luv. My mouth 'as more important things t' do."

Unceremoniously he slid his slickened fingers into your mouth, making you taste yourself as he leaned down to bury his face between your legs. That tongue of his quickly found your nub and circled around it, alternating between that and his lips puckering around it to suck on it. The fingers in your mouth did nothing to muffle the noises he was coaxing from you as your thighs clamped down on either side of his head. Somewhere in the back of your mind you were cognizant of putting too much pressure on him but it was quickly drowned out by your building climax.

Simon felt it building in you as well; the way your thighs got tighter around his head, the throbbing of your nub in his mouth, and the quivering of your slit. In the mess of it all your hands had come down to grip his short hair, tugging on it as if trying to pull him closer.

"Tha's it, luv, cum for me."

Barely above the haze of lust you registered Simon's command as you felt yourself come undone for him. Your own slick mixing with his spit to coat your inner thighs as he lapped greedily at everything you had to give him. Eventually your orgasm began to subside and you took notice of him standing up from where he had knelt. The sound of leather on denim was barely audible above your panting, followed by a zipper being pulled down. Craning your head up off the mattress you finally saw his full length in the dim light of the room as he slowly rutted against your womanhood.

"I think y' should be ready for this, luv. But I wanna hear y' say it. Tell me 'ow badly y' need this inside..."

"I... fuck..."

Word were hard to come by in your lust filled haze, biting your lower lip in concentration you finally were able to articulate the words.

"Take me, Simon! I want every inch of that inside me now!"

"Needy, aren't ya? Don't worry, I got exactly wha' y' need roight... here..."

On that last syllable he slid his full length inside of you in one fluid stroke. You could swear he crashed up against the back of your womb with how big he was and before you could cry out he locked his lips onto yours, stifling any sound you made.

You two lay there connected, Simon not moving until you were used to him, for a few brief moments before he pulled away from the kiss to gaze into your eyes. You gave him a wordless nod to reassure him you were okay before he started his thrusting in earnest. Slow, full strokes to make sure you felt every inch of his desire for you.

"Been 'oping to 'ave y' like this for awhile now, sweet'eart.. sure when y' first started up 'ere I was skeptical..."

Your brain was barely paying attention to his words, still shrouded in a fog of lust. Simon, on the other hand, was talking to take his mind off the pleasure you were giving him so he could last longer than a few pumps.

"But after I saw y' toss Gaz an' Soap around in 'and t' 'and I thought maybe y' were alroight after all..."

Now even Simon was barely registering his own words as his thrusts started to pick up the pace, chasing his own orgasm as he felt your body tense under him while your second climax built up inside you.

His hands went from your hips to your own hands, lacing both your fingers together as he held your hands above your head and leaned down to kiss you again. There was a bit more force, a bit more need behind this one and with a low growl he slammed his hips against yours one more time, burying himself deep as he emptied into you. Your own climax hitting at the same time made it feel like your walls were milking him dry.

Both of you were spent after that; a sweaty mess of half clothed bodies that clung to each other tightly. He didn't want to pull out but he wanted to lay you on the bed proper, opting to slide himself out from between your legs and gingerly place you on the bed before laying down next to you. Once he was settled in beside you, your hands wrapped around him in a loose embrace as you rested your cheek on his chest, feeling the slow rise and fall from his breath.

A heavy arm draped over you, pulling you in tightly as you both lay there in the dark. Simon was the first to break the silence, kissing the top of your head.

"May not 'ave been a proper date, sweet'eart. But I promise we'll 'ave one eventually. Now get some sleep, I'll be 'ere in the mornin'."

[ceilingfan5]

it's gotta be arcade carpet, I will start a fight and I do not care if I win that fight, even though I will win that fight. I want to draw blood, and Taako

"I hate him," Taako says, with feeling. "I hate him so bad. I want him to be naught but purple viscera traumatizing onlookers. You get me? Like, am I being clear enough?" He dips his pretzel passionately into the communal cheese and gets that succulent plastic nacho sauce all over the tray and his hand. He scowls and sucks his fingers loose and Kravitz thinks, not for the first time, him, huh? This is where I've laid my affections?

"For sure," Kravitz says calmly instead. He slides Taako a napkin.

"His strategies are garbage from a toilet, he has no flair, he cheats, I fucking know he does, I don't know how but I Know he does-" Taako huffs and chews his pretzel. Kravitz props his head up on his hand, looking at the jewelry store behind them, and the poster in the jewelry store with the deliriously happy gay couple, and he like, knows, okay, he knows all the diamond things and the capitalism things and the marriage things. And targeted advertising and rainbow bank icons. But listen. What if, is the thing.

"You could find another place to play?" Kravitz suggests, already knowing the answer. But Taako is in a ranting mood, and wants to get the magma out of his system. Kravitz is happy to divert the flow. It's certainly more interesting than going back to work in fourteen minutes.

"Obviously I'm not going to run, Krav," Taako scoffs, mouth still full. Nasty <3. Kravitz has it bad. It might be infectious, how bad he has it. Limbs falling off. In twenty years they'll be like how did the zombie apocalypse start? And no one will answer, because everyone will be gone of zombieism. The end. "I'd rather kill him."

"Noo," Kravitz says, laughing. "Really?"

"Yeah, really!" Taako almost manages a straight face. Usually he's so good at locking it down. Perfect stupid asshole. "I'd kill him good. I'd uh, I'd. Uh. If he beats me at Dance Party Castle again, I'm gonna start a fight."

"A fight? With what, your beefy fists?" Kravitz laughs. He knows Taako could hold his own in a scrap. But also.

"I will start a fight!" Taako declares, maybe a bit too loudly, but the empty food court just echoes dimly about it. "I will start a fight, and I don't care if I win, but I will win. I will win that fight. I wanna draw blood."

"Blood on the dance floor?"

"Boooo!" Taako breaks up into giggles. "Blood on the arcade carpet!"

"Oh no! Think of the blacklights!"

"Think of the Jenkins meat getting fed into the- what's the- Polybius!"

"You said Jenkins meat out loud with your mouth and now you have to go to the Phantom Zone forever." Kravitz shakes his head so sadly. What a loss. Taako cracks up.

"Noooo, I wasn't thinking!"

"That's it, you never think." Kravitz folds his arms, and gets cheese sauce on his suit jacket. "Wait, aw, fuck…"

"Are you sure you don't want to watch me defeat Dance Party Castle one mo gain?" Taako teases. He slides the nakins back over. What a loss!!!

"Only if there's an arcade massacre."

"Beb, I'd commit all kinds of crimes for you."

"Murder?" Kravitz pretends his cheeks aren't heating up, even after all this time. The classic Ken doll of a dude proposing to the slightly more racially ambiguous Ken doll in the glossy jewelry store ad almost winks at him.

"Easy."

"What about tax evasion?"

"Peasy, even."

"We got 'im, boys! Lock him up!"

And as Taako pretends to get dogpiled by a number of invisible undercover tax assassins, he has at least gotten less righteously incandescent about the fucker ruining his favorite thing. So Kravitz wins.

Just not at Dance Party Castle.

[suugarbabe]

I NEED MATHEO OR THEODORE X FEM READER AND SHE JUST LOVES HIS HANDS AND ARM VIENS AND SHE WALKS INTO HIS DORM AND IS GOBSMAKED TO SEE HIS ABS AND SHE WANTS TO RIDE THEM AND SHES JUST SO OBSESSED AND THINKS HES THE HOTTEST MAN IN THE PLANET- AND SHE FOLDS LIKE A PRETZEL WHEN HE GIVES HER THOSE EYES- JESUS IM A CATHOLIC BUT THEO AND MATTHEO COULD BE MY NEW RELIGION-

Hiii, I understand this has been in my inbox for a hot minute, and I apologize for not getting to it sooner, but it looks like you asked another creator for this exact prompt, word for word.

I encourage everyone to read it here , @azrielscrown is an amazing writer so I would insist that everyone check out more of their work if you like this one!

Everyone please note: I follow a lot of the major creators in this fandom, I will see if you double a request to me as you have other creators, please stop copy and pasting requests to see how many different variations you can get of the same story. :(

[sky-is-the-limit]

thinking about the 141's canon heights (especially gaz and soap) literally makes me dizzy because being 5'3 means im fucking TINY compared to all of them and it makes my size kink act up 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 if I think too hard about them manhandling me in bed or just folding me like a pretzel I gotta sit and catch my breath fr

Let me scream SAME from a fucking building real quick.

I'm 166cm (I think that's 5'5? Correct me if I'm wrong) and the thought of someone not just taller but bigger with broad shoulders towering over me, fuckkkkkk. Heavy on Gaz. Extra heavy on Price. Just pressing against you with all that weight? Staring down at you knowing damn well that you're about to get ruined???? Hello????

ALL THAT?!?!?!?

[blueberry-ovaries]

no one asked for it but here it is!

My ranking on which Band of Brothers characters I think i could beat in a fight:

for context i am 5”4, like 60kg soaking wet, but filled with rage and self belief - my entire fighting ability is based solely on the fact i grew up as the only girl and learnt to fight dirty

Dick Winters: First and foremost. I would NOT fight this man, i feel like it would be like hitting my mum, he just gives me disappointed mum vibes. secondly, i have no doubt that man can fight, and i would be folded like a deck chair - HOWEVER: i feel like he would help me stop the nose bleed i would get from him breaking my nose

Lewis Nixon: I feel like i could beat nix in a fight, just something about him screams like he would not be able to fight in like an anything goes street style fight? maybe it’s the Yale student in him.

Carwood Lipton: Again, i feel like it would be like hitting my dad. Also i know that man would be able to kick the shit out of me. Like we saw his arms in the baseball scene? yeah. no way would i be able to beat that man in a fight

Ronald Spiers: I wouldn’t even attempt to fight that man. He would rock my shit. There is no doubt about it. I may be delusional but i’m not THAT delusional

Harry Welsh: I feel like this one would be pretty easy, and i think i would win. Like he’s a loveable guy yaknow? but also if i had to i would beat him. However, i would probably feel pretty bad about it if im being honest

Joe Liebgott: now, i understand this man is probably like a foot taller than me, and very angry. BUT. i feel like this a a 50/50, in the sense that i feel if i could get him onto my level, it would a fair fight. HOWEVER, i feel this man would fight dirty if need be.

Joe Toye: no way. nuh uh. we’ve all seen his arms, they are bigger than my head, his brass knuckles?! yeah no way would i win that fight.

Bill Guarnere: again, i feel like this is similar to Joe Toye, in the fact that i feel like this man is filled with a lot of rage and would definitely knock me on my ass. Like i would put up a fight and maybe get a few punches in but, he would put me on my ass fs

George Luz: no offence but i would for sure win. Like love George but, if i had to fight him, i would win. But i don’t think i would ever want to fight George, look at that face and tell me you would want to harm it

Skip Muck: look at that face and tell me you would want to hit it. I would however win, i feel like there isn’t much height advantage for him to have, and even if there was i am used to fighting people bigger than me. So in short, yea i would win but i would feel bad about it

Don Malarkey: hasn’t he been through enough!? But seriously though, i think he would probably win based on arm size alone. Like he would crush me with his arms, even if i could fight back.

Frank Perconte: i would win. no doubt in my mind. That’s not saying this man wouldn’t be scrappy, because he gives me scrappy vibes, but i would win this one.

Babe Heffron: My beloved, my special guy, my pookie, i would NEVER. However, i think it would be a pretty 50/50 fight if i was able to get him to my level. That is if my ass wasn’t kicked my Bill first.

Bull Randleman: look at me. look at me. Bull Randleman would rock my shit. I would be folded like a pretzel. He would knock me on my ass, and most definitely brake a bone in my face. Look at him!!!!

Shifty Powers: it would feel like punching a sad little puppy :( i don’t want to fight him! Like i physically don’t think i would even fight him, and i feel he would feel bad if he hit me… maybe we go out for breakfast and don’t fight

David Webster: now i have full faith in my ability to beat this man in a fight. I feel he would be a pretentious harvard man and i would definitely be able to beat him, especially if it’s an anything goes brawl.

Johnny Martin: This man would eradicate me with a single death glare. He is TIRED of everyone’s shit, and i think he would use that to just decimate me off the face of the earth.

Chuck Grant: Now, we’re talking pre head wound chuck, he would probably beat me, PROBABLY. I feel like that man would fight dirty, but there would be a chance for me to win. So maybe like a 70/30 chance his way?

Floyd Talbert: This man would flirt his way to victory. He would make me turn red at the compliments and sweet talking and i just would not be able to fight him. And to be honest, i would let him

Eugene Roe: Again, i would NEVER want to fight this man, he has been through enough!!! But the fact he would be able to throw me like a sack of potatoes would wound my ego severely. Like dude is strong! he’s carrying around injured people all day! Which means he would most definitely win.

Buck Compton: This one’s a tricky one for me to say, i want to say he would win. BUT, i feel like he would fight fair yaknow? So maybe if i caught him off guard and like, bite him maybe i would win? But who knows for sure.

Skinny Sisk: This man has to deal with Web and Lieb. HE IS TIRED!!! I would not fight him based on the fact that he needs a break. Give him a break. BUT i think it would be pretty 50/50, he seems beatable but also seems like he could kick my ass yaknow?