#im fuckin trying man i hate this so desperately but. man. were not even at th worst part yet. but still

[trainingdummyrabbit]

[linos-luna]

Confused Emotions 🔪

Yandere!Changbin x Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsessive behavior, punching, spanking, light violence

Short tempered, strong, and scary. That was your boyfriend Changbin. Why was he so obsessive? You were in constant fear. He didn’t want to scare you, but he couldn’t help it. Why won’t you just comply? He’s just trying to love you! You loved him originally but now you just weren’t sure. I mean, sometimes he’s soft. Sometimes the man you fell in love with comes through.

————————————————————————

It’s been about 2 weeks since you last went out. Changbin said it was because of the constant rain and storms that have been hitting. But he won’t even let you make a phone call or text. You didn’t know what to do half the time.

Today you just wanted to get some fresh air. You stood out in the back yard while he was gone running errands. It stopped raining and there was that after rain smell still lingering. It was a nice change.

You didn’t think Changbin would be very mad at you standing in the backyard. The gate was locked and fence high. No one could even see in untess they were over 6ft. And yet, he was still pissed. Fuming, actually.

“Baby?!” Changbin gasped while grabbing your hand. “I was so worried!”

“I was just outside, Binnie…”

“You’re not supposed to go outside without me!” He blurted out, yanking on your hair. “Bad girl!”

“Ow, Binnie!” You cried as he dragged you inside, pulling you into the living room.

“Why don’t you listen to me?!” He grunted while he grabbed your hands and looked at you. “I love you, y/n! Someone could take you!

“The only person who took me is you!”

As soon as you snapped back, there was a sudden smack to your face. No, not a smack, more like a punch. A punch hard enough to knock you to the floor.

“ I hate it when you’re a bad girl!” Changbin yelled while looking down at you. “You have no idea!”

“B-Binnie—…”

Changbin got on his knees and leaned over you. “Yes baby?”

“Y-you… you hurt me…” you cried.

It was an odd change of tone. He rubbed your cheeks where he punched you. Suddenly feeling really bad. “Baby! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean… you… you shouldn’t have gone outside!”

It’s like he couldn’t decide what emotion to express with you. It was frustrating. He yanked you up by the arm. You were sure he was going to dislocate your shoulder one day.

“C’mon…” he grunted, pulling you to the bedroom.

“You’re staying in here!” He yelled while tossing you to the bed.

“Binnie-.”

“Shut up!” He said, suddenly grabbed you by the jaw and got really close. “You’re a bad girl! Never listen to my rules!”

“I’m not a fuckin child!”

He suddenly flips you around and harshly spanks your bottom. Your jeans were still on but it still hurt like a bitch.

“Bad girl!”

“Bin-”

“Bad girl!” He yelled with another smack.

You cried as he delivered the last blow and he flipped you onto your back.

“Im sorry! I’m sorry!” He suddenly said, now rubbing your cheeks. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!!”

What was wrong with this man?!

“You love me right?! Right?! ” Changbin said almost desperately. “I love you!!”

You could only look at him with tears in your eyes. He was nearly on top of you and you couldn’t move.

He kissed your lips. Then your cheek. Then your lips again, and again… and again. “I love you. *kiss* love me. *kiss* love me please! *kiss*”

You nodded hesitantly, just wanting him to get off of you since he was suffocating you a bit.

He got up off of you and you sat up, wiping your tears.

“I’ll get dinner!” Changbin said while going to the door. You followed him until he pushed you back. “You stay here. You’re a bad girl.”

“I-I’m sorry, Binnie…”

“I know. Just until the end of today. I’ll see you later, baby.” Changbin poked your cheek and left, locking the door behind him.

You laid on the bed and sighed. Why was he like this?

[yanderesimp2000]

Yan Adam x Fem reader Chap 3/5 someone else DARES TO FLIRT ON YOU !MINORS STAY AWAY

CHAP 1 https://www.tumblr.com/yanderesimp2000/745338401920860160/extreme-yandere-adam-x-fem-reader-chap-15-start?source=share

CHAP 2 https://www.tumblr.com/yanderesimp2000/745426251094818816/extreme-yandere-adam-x-fem-listener-chap-25?source=share

Tags, Cuddles, kisses,protective, 9 feet size diff , wing snuggles, daiquiri?!, RIBS?!!,horny listener

TWS, Manipulation, Violence (not on you), someone trys to SA you (NOT ADAM), Alcohol, Yanderery, Adam being a incel and misogynist, blow job, and brainwashed reader

btw this takes place in a universe where Adam won the Battle of Hazbin hotel and killed all the main hazbin hotel cast also PLEASE GIVE ME REQUESTS

my english might be bad I'm from Armenia

BTW RUSSIAN AND ARMENIAN TRANSLATIONS COMING SOON

it been about 3 days since your little "illness" stopped affecting you Adams gonna back to work making your lonely he's only here at night so he cant give you the attention you desperately crave "like a little fly to soda" Adam described your attention craving

His mansion he keeps you locked up in is cool to live in it had 5 floors and everything you could want like,pools a huge kitchen and dinner room, multiple living rooms a indoor theater but it's never engough your just counting down the days Adam dosnet have to do first man stuff for 7 whole days strait and you will get all the attention and love you want

as you sat on your bed watching Tv some reality TV show you here someone unlock the front door "what upppp Baby" It was Adam you rushed over to the door and he gave you a hug "ughhhhhhh today was soooo boring sera was being a bitch again something about You cant banish random people to hell because you dislike them like bitch? im fucking Adam I can do whatever I want I'm god first creation and his favorite so you can go eat shit" the way Adam described sera just made you hate her all you could think was is "how could she disrespect him does she know who he is you should be lucky to be in his presence" but you just said "yeah I know seras a bitch I know I know" Adam was happy to hear that at said "well atleast someone understands even lute is on Sera side"

adam groaned before Slumping down and laying down on the couch before saying " hey babe do we still have so raw ribs in the fridge" he said You then said "I'll check" before opening the fridge to see the rack of ribs he brought home one day you then said "yeah do you want me to make them" you said in your soft caring voice adam LED mask lit up and he said " YES YES YES FUCKIN MAKE THEM" Like a ecstatic puppy when you bring out his food

you then start to cook them Adam always thought that It was your job as a women to do the house work and cook and clean for him and you agreed since for some strange reason you could not remember what you life was like before he Married you so you just blindly agreed to everything he said once you were done seasoning the ribs you put them on the slow cooker for 2 hours before laying down on the couch with him like you always do

he started to snuggle you before telling you the same story's he always tell you "did I tell you about that one time this bitch girl that was Lucifer daughter came over and took me to court over the extermination it was sooooooo annoying then we killed them all and it was fuckin great" he said proud of himself "yes babe youve told me" you said Slightly annoyed

Adam then said "ugh this couch is too small were gonna go to the bed" he then picked you up with one hand like he always does and just carried you over the the bed and placed you on it before also laying down on the bed " your my little teddy bear y'know that small helpless... weak you have to rely on me for shelter safety and protection and that's Just the way I like it" he softly and gently cooed "and the world is dangerous their would be sooo many creeps that would try to take advantage of you and take you away from me so you should never try to leave its too dangerous" he said gently but very firm and something about it your mind just agreed with him " he was right you should stay with him" was all your little brain could think as you nuzzled into him

when you nuzzled into him he was surprised but loved it "ohh someones a little love bug today" he teased before starting to kiss you on your forehead his wings starting to wrap around you two creating a soft little fort as you two were snuggling you noticed some knots and dirt on Adams wings which just bothered you so much you started to clean and prune them this surprised Adam but he just giggled a little "sorry my wings are a little dirty but its always nice to know someone can take care of them for me" you walked out of the bed and grabbed the brush to brush his wings like the good little wife you were he giggled and cooed over this you just dropped everything to clean his wings as you were doing that he felt your wings " if only I could take care of myself like you do I'm a fucking mess" a complained "your wings are so sleek and soft they always look like its your first day in heaven and mine are dirty and rugged" he groaned "but hey I have you and your such a good wife you just clean them for me" he laughed

when you were done cleaning his wings he praised you like you were a toddler "wow I look so pretty, what ever would I do without you, Their so sleek and shiny just like yours,how could you do all of this so quickly" this coddling was interrupted by the buzzing of the oven that had the ribs in them " fuck yeah' he yelled before jumping out of bed and running towards the kitchen as you followed behind him to take them out when you took them out Adam just grabbed one of the burning hot ribs and shoved them in his mouth you looked at him shocked but he said " fucking delicious thanks babe" you heard the ribs FUCKING SIZZLE WHEN HE PICKED THEM UP

Besides that concerning discovery the dinner was pretty good he talked to you and seemed to enjoy the ribs a lot making your heart happy he then groaned "welp that was nice time for bed" you weren't tired and said "w-wait" but I was to late he picked you up and walked to the bed and threw you guys down on it " I said it was time for bed" Adam growled ignoring your protests as he feels asleep you were forced to sit their smushed in-between his arm and his chest For another 3 hours before you finally fell asleep against him

3 days later

it was finally the day were Adam got 7 whole days off no doing angel stuff he promised you guys would go do something and now you were he was dressing you up looking thur dresses while he was in his classic robe attire you guys were going to his favorite club for a date and you were so excited 1 because it was your first time out of his mansion in 2 months and 2 he was actually taking you on a date

adam then showed you a nice baby blue dress that fir very tightly on you he then said "yes yes that's the one so everyone will know how fucking smoking hot you are and THEY CANT HAVE YOU because your alllllllllllllllllll mine" the dress was very tight but you said it was okay because he said it looked cute on you so it had to

He then said "okay were both ready so lets go" you two walked out the door and heaven was just a pretty as it always was the huge building all the gold and marble and just everything as you two walking you heard people mumbling "how did Adam pull that girl" "must of bribed her or something" "wow shes hot shit" but you didn't humor them ignoring them and just focusing on Adam as you two walked to the club which he always talked about so you knew it was gonna be a lovely experience

as you two rounded the corner he said "prepare to be blown out of your fucking mind" then you saw it big flashy signs and a bouncer that said "come in sir" when he saw you and adam" when you two walked in you were seated in one of the best seats in the club were he ordered himself a large daiquiri and you a small red wine you guys drank and talked and listened to music as he blabbered his head off about story's that he told you a billion times but you didn't mind at all and you were with him it was all fine

Adam started to get a little drunk and started to get even more touchy and affectionate then he already was "nice t-t-tits bitch" he said words slurred "T-thank you" you said felling flattered but a little insulted at being called a bitch " can I have my rib back" Adam said before erupting in laughter "its okay even though you came from my r-rib your m-much fuckin hotter then in" he teased again before saying "when we get home I'm gonna fuck ya hard yeahhh gonna knock ya up give ya babys make ya all round gonna baby trap ya then you could Neva leave me" he said words slurred you were slightly annoyed by this and said "Adam having babys would be wonderful but I would never leave you, you know that right?" you said trying to reassure him "yeah yeah I fucking know I was just fucking around bitch" Adam said laughing a little before saying " I gotta fuckin piss I'll be right back" before standing up and leaving

you sat their fiddling with you thumbs waiting for adam to return when an angel came up to you he was unattractive in your standards so you didn't bat an eye that was until he said "hey baby you could do sooooo much better then him you know that" you tried to ignore him but he persisted "he treats you like trash right yeahhh I bet he does I would treat you like the queen you are" you get angry and said "fuck off I'm not going out with you or leaving him" the angel looks offended but then says well then I'll just give it a little sample then before punching you to the ground holding you down before trying to touch you private area he didn't even seem to notice Adam walking over to the stall

2 seconds later he was ripped of you and adam had never looked so angry before "YOU DARE TOUCH MY WIFE IN MY CLUB EVEN AFTER SHE SAID NO" he said in-between punches "Scum like you have no place in heaven" he said before snapping his fingers opening a portal to hell "wait no no no no no no please I'm sorry please nooooooooooo" he said before being sucked in before the portal closed Adam was panting looking like a rapid animal everyone in the club was looking at him " lets go babe" he said before grabbing your hand and flying out of the club back home

When you got home Adam said "fucking scum trying to hit on you I'm sorry you had to see that but he deserved it" he said still fuming "it's okay Adam" you said gently trying to calm him down but God he was so hot when he was angry it just brought out his dominate side which you found so hot he then walked over to the couch and sat down to watch his favorite show

this was your chance you thought he always was the one to ask to fornicate so it was your turn but you were to nervous to directly ask him from Adams perspective he was just sitting on the couch watching his favorite TV show when all of a sudden he felt something you... you were sitting on the floor in-between his legs rubbing your face against his soft bulge looking up at his longingly he was surprised and that well you were asking to fuck he giggled and said "that's one way to ask if you can suck my dick" before taking his underwear revealing his 35 cm dick complete erect he then teased "hope ya don't choke" before grabbed you by the hair and putting your mouth against his dick you gladly opened it and started to suck on it purring and playing with the soft tip arousing Adam even more 'good good girl" he said "I hope ya dont chock on it although that would be cute" he said in a low purr you were to preoccupied to listen and you just kept sucking him off rubbing your tongue against the veins bulging through and the gentle tip tickling him he then said "going all the way in" then shoving his whole dick down your throat you were surprised you did not gag maybe heaven does not have a gag reflex you thought while sucking it "that's it baby this is your dessert after all those drinks" he said as the bead of precum went down your throat it was so nice to have all his love and affection and to pleasure him it was just an addicting feeling Adam then blurted out " are you ready for you dessert " before pulling his dick partially out before cumming all onto your tongue letting you taste it "don't you dare spit it out" Adam said firmly as more ropes of cum went into your mouth. by the end your mouth was filled with his sticky salty cum you started to gulp it down as he cleaned himself up he laughed and said "Ya like your dessert because your gonna eat that EVERY DAY" before saying "its getting late lets go to bed

BONUS BC I LOVE YOU

as he was sleeping your played with his bulge it was soft and warm kinda like a pillow he was enjoying it as he blurted out "ugh yess" once and awhile it was just the perfect pillow you finally rested on his bulge using it like a pillow and fell asleep

[isaacathom]

ds9 time, s2e5

A GARAK EPISODE. A GARAK EPISODE. everyone blow the horns. now my thing is im hoping that since bashir has been relatively 'less cringe' in s2 that this will also apply to a garak episode because i unfortunately had a hard time enjoying his first outing bc i have bad taste

bashir is really all in on this 'garaks a spy' thing and thats cringe but very cute. like its very... dorky. its dorky what hes doing. and clearly garak thinks its funny considering the two clearly have a rapport, so this owns. "what can i say to convince you that I'm-" "plain, simple garak?" "precisely!" now thats good dialogue baby

ah. lil gremlin boy.

oh we're going like. mach 10 into this bad boy. like 3 times in as many minutes we have hammered in this point about cardassian war orphans on bajor. bliing.

oh. ohhh this is gonna be a hell of an episode.

"they wont hurt you. theyre humans. not cardassians" dude come ON. like. you gotta have some self awareness dude.

there is something very weird going on in this episode and i cant quite put my finger on it. maybe its the way that there were two scenes, separated by not much, that had very clearly been shot at the same time, one after the other (the two were bashir and sisko talk to the bajoran man). not a problem, natch, but the. pacing? feels a little off. im 13 mins in and im sort of unclear on how this plans to resolve. the actual answer is, and will be 'ask the boy' but star trek has a dogshit record (for me) of considering the autonomy of the children in their narratives, except when those children are adults in kid bodies.

sisko, watching bashir ask dukat questions: this is fascinating, both for the questions and the fact the stations doctor has decided to just march in and do that.

"dont apologise. its been the high point of my day. . . don't do it again" sisko is so good man

kira, watching all of this from the back: if only i had popcorn

oop, resetting the "scenes since keiko and miles had an argument" back to 0. she has a point but aya.

okay so she starts by having a point, yknow, Dont be Racist to Rugal, and then goes for a cardassian dish when the one thing we know about Rugal is that he's been raised by Bajorans? for night one i feel like id play it safe with a bajoran dish, make him feel at home (for the fact that 'home', presently, has been Bajor). sweet gesture but hm? and he didnt eat it, mannnn. keikoooo.

thank god SOMEONE is advocating for Rugal's right to have a say in where he goes, THANK you obrien. a low bar we have cleared for the love of god.

i feel like this episode is trying to say something and isn't. quite getting there. that or i am too white for a story about internalised racial prejudice. i will concede that also.

GARAK WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HIS QUARTERS

"when the boy finds out his real father's alive, surely he'll change his mind. And even if he doesn't, it would be in the boy's best interests." i hate when they do this, fucking gul dukat

oop, there we go, there's a little emotional sting of Garak's complete pause at the cardassian child asking if he's there to take them home. oh there we go.

the pacing on the episode is. breakneck.

thank god for obrien continuing to advocate for Rugal's right to choose his family. oh hey i actually really like keikos outfit here, shes got a nice vest and the shirt and pant colours really compliment it. it looks great

oh this genuinely does kinda hurt because pa'dar comes in so brash and confident and now hes just desperately trying to find some way to connect to this lost son of his, ;would you like to see some pictures of you as a child?' 'no!' oh my heart. OH MY HEART. oh poor pa'dar. obrien tried to warn him. poor man. like even though there's some, for lack of word, "whack political shit" going on, pa'dar is genuinely emotional invested.

"the past is the past it has no relevance here" pretty sure it does but go off

the fact that twice in two minutes theres been an 'oh, a woman?' response, very cringe

garak looks so fucking proud of bashir being a boss ass bitch.

"ive decided to send rugal back to cardassia" DID YOU ASK HIM BENJAMIN. DID YOU ASK HIM. DID YOU GIVE HIM A PROPER OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE A DECISION FOR HIMSELF. god fuck off. eugh. like... sure?? sure?? just also come oooooooon.

alright so the ep in s1 with garak didnt really give me anything but now im like ah yea no i see the vibe, the vibe of bashir/garak is coming into focus, this is great.

im. inconclusive on the episodes actual quality? i am kinda annoyed it once again ended with adults overruling the child in the situation. sure, you can make a case that rugal isn't given much choice in the matter, given his upbringing, but surely there's some middle ground that lets him experience the culture of his biological father for a time before coming to a decision? arrangements about shared custody? SOMETHING? like. augh. auuuuugh.

[jjkyaoi]

anyway, take some uncle c!tommy hc's and take 'em at Once

when tommy had been told about michael, he didn't believe it. he really, really didn't. at first he'd thought that tubbo was pulling some weird fucking elaborate prank on him, lying about the things he'd gotten up to whilst tommy had been gone to confuse him—which, even back then he wouldn't have been surprised if it was the truth—and he continued to not believe it, until he was presented with said zombified piglin at snowchester.

TOMMY: wait, wait, wait. so you're telling me that while i was gone - while i was fucking dead, you and ranboo got married —

TUBBO: yes.

TOMMY: divorced each other like 3 fuckin' times,

TUBBO: yes.

TOMMY: and then adopted a kid.

TUBBO: ....yes

TOMMY: 

TUBBO, holding michael out to him: welcome back to the land of the living :D

TOMMY: i need to fuckin' lie down

at first, he didn't want anything to do with michael. in his stay in snowchester, he'd basically avoided the kid like the mf'in plague. whether he'd be watching tubbo and ranboo take care/play with him from a distance, or purposely avoiding him when he'd waddled up to him, purposely avoiding holding him when he was offered, he always didn't spend any time at all w/ the kid, until. one day. ranboo and tubbo had to leave snowchester, and tommy was left on babysitting duty.

TOMMY: i don't like kids. tubbo, you know  i don't like children - don't hand me that fucking thing  i will start biting –

TUBBO, frowning, holding michael out: he's not a thing,  he's our son! and you're his uncle! TOMMY: i'm going to kill you

RANBOO: you're on babysitting duty while we're gone :]

TOMMY: ykw, your husband's the first to go 

while tubbo and ranboo had been gone, tommy had been tasked with feeding him, playing with him—which, just was just wrestling with him, which was his favorite activity, which just consisted in tommy getting his ass pummeled by this little zombified piglin toddler—taking him on walks outside snowchester when he got ansty, giving him naps, etc. the entire thing wasn't easy, because michael seemed to have a personal vendetta against him; every time he'd tried to feed him, or bathe him, or play with him, the kid would always fuck w/ him in some way. whether it be biting him when he tried to feed him, kicking him when he tried to bathe him, or anything, babysitting michael was more like torture than actually babysitting - once tommy was done w/ the whole ordeal he was convinced that the kid was a child of satan 

.TOMMY: i swear to fucking god, you fuck, eat the god damn food before i shove it down your throat myself -

MICHAEL, kicking the food directly into tommy's face and running away at high speed:

TOMMY; you mothERFUCKER—

when tubbo and ranboo came back, tommy handed michael to them, declared he never wanted to be near the kid again, and stormed off to his room.

but. michael had gotten attached to him.ever since that day of babysitting, michael had claimed tommy, basically. wherever tommy went, michael would be hot on his heels; if he was walking around snowchester, or if he was eating, or if he was sitting somewhere, or if he was talking to somebody else completely, michael would be at his side, standing, or trying to climb all over him. instead of constantly trying to attack tommy whenever he'd see him, michael instead had become impossibly clingy, & when tommy wasn't at snowchester, michael threw a fit. he couldn't spend more than a couple away from tommy's poor soul. and tommy—though he complained—found that he didn't really mind 

after a couple days.wherever tommy went, eventually, he'd carry michael with. when he went to go check on his hotel, he'd bring michael with, and eventually after the days of visiting the hotel with michael in tow became common, he deciced to make a little suit for the fucker that matched his, since he seemed to be so intrigued with the place

.SAM: ah, tommy! you're here to work on the hotel, it's good to - what're you holding

TOMMY, holding michael in his arms, who's dressed in a suit: baby boss

he'd ended up trying to teach the kid how to scam people. or, when he was  scamming people, he'd constantly use michael as a distraction when they were getting suspicious; holding the baby up to distract him with his "impossibly cute stare", or maybe even getting michael to climb all over the person's body while he fled the scene, like the kid had been doing to him months before. 

eventually, though, because of the scamming missions tommy took him on constantly, michael became a pickpocket, aka, stealing everything from his parents. it was only when tubbo lost his bandana that he came to him.

TUBBO: tommy, what have you been teaching michael.

TOMMY: who, me?  i haven't been - psh, i haven't been teaching him anything! i don't know why you'd accuse me of such a thing 

-MICHAEL, running up to tommy at full speed, tubbo's bandana in hand: :DDD

TOMMY:

TUBBO:

TOMMY: i can explain

it had always been common for michael to throw tantrums whenever he was angry, and because of his strength it had always been hard for tubbo or ranboo to get him to calm down. it was a problem they had a constant of, and sometimes it'd even take hours to get the little fucker to quiet down, but with tommy......,,, it was natural. he'd learned that all he'd had to do was pick up the little shit and hold him up in the air, and he'd immediately go quiet, limp, like a ragdoll, all signs of a tantrum lost. tubbo and ranboo have declared him as the Chosen One.

MICHAEL, throwing a tantrum: >:( 

TOMMY, immediately picking him up in the air and holding him up: quiet down little man

MICHAEL:

 tommy had gotten into the habit of calling michael multiple nicknames. the most frequent ones were; little M, big M, mikey, mr michael, little shit, pain in my ass, devil, clingy little urchin, and mr little

michael—since he'd gotten so attached to tommy—had ended up picking up his mannerisms as well. like, crossing his stubby little arms whenever he's upset, puffing out his chest, scowling, jumping around whenever he's excited, huffing when he's annoyed, stomping when he's mad, etc. watching tommy and michael in the same room is like watching a mirror replicate other's behavior

.TUBBO: i don't know who is who

TOMMY, immediately turning to tubbo's direction, crossing his arms: what're you talking about

MICHAEL, doing the same exact thing at the same exact time: >:(

RANBOO: ....im

TUBBO, trying not to laugh; nothing

tubbo and ranboo had eventually gotten jealous of the blatant favoritism michael had begun showing tommy, so they'd decided to start spending more time w/ him to earn back his favor, but every time they did michael would always run away from them, and back into tommy's arms, who looked impossibly smug because he was the favorite. it always pissed ranboo and tubbo off—though, not really, because they were secretly endeared by how close the two had gotten—and so they'd tried finding more things they had in common with michael, but it was always things tommy liked, or things tommy was good at, and they were at a Loss.

TUBBO; michael, come over here! hang out w/ me and your dad, why don't you?

MICHAEL, pausing: :/

RANBOO: yeah, c'mere michael, why don't you spend a day with us -MICHAEL, immediately running towards tommy instead:

TOMMY: >:D

RANBOO: what

TUBBO: HE'S OUR KID???

tubbo and tommy are not good influences on michael, like. at all. michael in himself is already a brat, but tommy and tubbo are constantly in the corner, cheering on his antics, while ranboo is trying desperately for his son to not end up as much of a chaotic bastard as his husband and uncle are.

RANBOO: i swear to god.  who gave michael a wooden sword

TOMMY, decked out in armor: wasn't me

TUBBO, hiding another sword behind his back: wasn't me either

MICHAEL, hitting ranboo repeatedly in the leg: >:D RANBOO: i hate this fucking family

[emmies-archives]

-Public | Hinata Shoyo- 

fem!reader x sub-timeskip!hinata shoyo 

Warnings: Nsfw, degradation, public sex, masturbation, exhibitionism, voyeurism, punishment, dacryphilia, edging, getting caught, shower sex, implied threesome, 

Summary: Your supposed to pick Hinata up from practice, except he’s made you wait over an hour, and he’s ignored your texts.

WC: 1.7k

A/N: ig im just fuckin thirsty as hell today... also this is unedited bc im lazy, once again, pls ignore typos. 

-Hinata Shoyo-

Light shone into the car with each person that drove by as they left the parking lot you had been sitting in for nearly an hour now. Practice had ended over an hour ago, yet Hinata hadn’t come out of the gym yet.

It was normal for him to run late, but this was getting out of hand. He hadn’t even sent a single text to let you know what was going on.

Reading the last one you sent asking when he was coming out, a sigh left your lips when you noticed. He’d left you on read.

A part of you wanted to leave him at the gym, for him to find his own way back to your shared apartment; but you couldn’t. As badly as he deserved it, you had other plans for him.

This wasn’t the first time Hinata had done this either, sometimes he’d get so caught up in whatever he was doing he’d forget to even check his phone, let alone look at the time. You wanted to cut him some slack, but you had warned him once before.

Glancing at the doors once more, you took a slow breath in. Waiting for him to come out for one more minute. When there was no sign of him still, you turned the car off, heading towards the gym.

Hunting down your boyfriend was the last thing that you wanted to do, you were exhausted already. Your entire day had been draining, and you only wanted to go home and relax. But there you were, pushing the doors open, only to find the gym empty.

“Hello?”

Your voice bounced off the walls, echoing back to you loudly. Looking around, there was nothing showing anyone was still there, except for Hinata’s bag sitting alone across the room.

Just as you were crossing the gym toward the bag he slipped through a door, eyes wide when he noticed you. It took you a second to process that he was in front of you now, you weren’t exactly sure what to say, but you weren’t happy, and he could tell.

“Shoyo.” You narrowed your eyes slightly, crossing your arms over your chest. The simple movement made him drop his eyes as if he were trying to hide from your intense glare.

“Hi, y/n.” His voice was quiet, much quieter than his normal self. Shifting his weight as he spoke, eyes fixed on his bag.

You didn’t say anything else for a moment, not sure if you should even talk. You couldn’t tell if you were more upset at the fact he knew what he did or not. It was one thing to simply forget to send a message, but him purposefully ignoring your texts pissed you off.

“Are you, um.. are you okay?” He asked, slowly looking you in the eyes, a small look of concern sitting on features.

“I think I should be asking you that, Sho.” Tilting your head slightly, you stared at him waiting for him to explain why he took so long.

“I’m okay. I was just about to come meet you.”

That answer made your blood hot, you could barely hold back what you wanted to say in response. Closing your eyes for a moment, you tried calming yourself, even if was only a little.

“Oh, so you did know I was here.” You spoke lowly, holding him in your stare once more. He stiffened when you started walking toward him, eyes wide as your gripped the collar of his shirt, pulling him to look up at you.

“Are you mad-“

“Don’t pretend to be innocent, Sho. I know you read my text I sent nearly an hour ago.” Your lips pulled back into a sneer when he dropped his eyes from yours once more. Letting go of his shirt you took a step back, reading the label on the door from where he came, it was the showers.

Stepping around him he didn’t take his eyes off the floor as you walked to the door and pulled it open.

“Remember what I said last time you did this?” You didn’t even have to say anything else as you stepped into the hallway, he followed behind you quietly. You knew he remembered, but he probably wouldn’t answer on his own.

Hinata usually got quiet when you were upset, not wanting to make anything worse. He really did try to be good; it was just sometimes he got a little distracted.

“I hope none of your teammates are here, Sho, or they’re going to hear you whining like a little bitch soon.” Your voice dripped with the anger you felt, but it was steady, scarily calm.

Once you were in the showers, you spun on your heels slowly. In an instant his back was pressed against the cold tile, a small shiver running down his back as your hot breath fanned over his lips.

He didn’t want to look at you, but for some reason he couldn’t tear his eyes from yours. Even as you swiftly pushed down his gym shorts, a venom-soaked saccharine smile pulling at your lips.

He wasn’t sure what to do, or where to put his hands. Was he allowed to touch you? He probably didn’t deserve it, but he wanted to. Especially as your fingers wrapped around his slowly hardening length.

If the look in your eyes wasn’t on the forefront of his thoughts, he would’ve felt the burn of his cheeks at your touch, and gaze.

“You’re already pretty hard, Sho. What were you thinking about that got you so worked up?” You asked sweetly, the tone of your voice harshly contrasting your actions as you gripped his jaw, pulling him closer to your face. “Answer me.”

“Um, I don’t know, you’re just so… I can’t explain it.”

You nearly laughed at his answer, it was almost pathetic how he couldn’t resist you when he disobeyed you. It was like he did it on purpose, just so he could have you like this.

“You don’t know.. well if that’s the case, why don’t you get yourself off, hm? A little slut like you doesn’t even deserve me to touch them. Not after you made me wait as long as I did.” You leaned closer to him, your hand tightening on his neck as you did. Letting your grip on his cock go, raising an eyebrow as you waited for him to listen to you.

Slowly, after shutting his eyes for a moment, he gripped himself. Stroking his cock loosely, the blush deepening on his cheeks as he did. He hated this, he knew he didn’t deserve it but he wanted it to be your hand, desperately wanted to feel your touch again. He listened though, saying anything back to you would only make it worse.

“Awe, look how cute you are. Is it embarrassing touching yourself in front of me?” He whined softly when you pushed closer to him, barely brushing against his length as he sped up his hand. Trying to mimic your expert movements, how you seemed to always make him melt as you touched him.

It was nothing like how you did it though, nothing close to the pleasure he felt when your pretty fingers were wrapped around his aching cock, pumping him just right. His eyes fluttered shut, not being able to look into yours anymore.

“No, no shutting your eyes. I want you to see me watch you pathetically touch yourself, I thought you could do it better, or am I the only one who can make you feel good like that, hm?” You pulled away from him when he opened his eyes again, watching as he changed his pace slowing down once more. Trying to find something that felt similar to what he was searching for.

Tears of frustration were starting to prick his eyes mixing with the embarrassment pooling in his chest. You weren’t surprised when they spilled over, slipping down his cheeks. The satisfied grin on your face only pushing his embarrassed crying further, needy whines slipping from his throat, but he kept stroking himself. Eyes screwing shut once more as he tried to stop the tears from coming.

You were about to say something else, maybe let him stop when you were interrupted. The loud creaking of the door opening sounded once more, followed by loud heavy footsteps.

Hinata’s eyes flew open, and he looked to you with wide eyes, you only smiled and moved closer to him, enough to shield him if needed.

“Hinata! You in here?” A loud voice called out, and you recognized it almost immediately. Not even giving him a chance to respond, Bokuto stepped around the corner. You moved away from Hinata again, giving Bokuto a clear view of him.

“Hey, Bo.” You smiled at the larger man as if there was nothing going on, his wide eyes flicked between you and Hinata several times, trying hard to not look at the redhead’s hand.

“Y/n, what are you doing in here?” Bokuto’s voice was quiet, nearly a whisper when he asked it.

“Teaching Hinata a lesson. You wouldn’t happen to know why he was here so late, would you?” You asked slowly, raising an eyebrow when Bokuto shook his head rapidly, you definitely didn’t believe him. Especially with the blush that spread across his cheeks. “Hm, well you’re free to stay if you want. I’m sure Hinata wouldn’t mind, would you baby?”

Hinata let out a shaky breath, like he had been holding it in since Bokuto arrived. Forcing himself to look at the tall man, barely meeting his eyes. Shaking his head, he didn’t quite trust his voice yet, not with the obvious tent growing in Bokuto’s shorts.

Seeing Hinata with his head tilted against the tile, tears spilling down his cheeks as he gripped his cock, it was something he thought he’d never see. Bokuto could hardly look at you now, there was an edge in the tone of your voice he’d never heard before, it scared him slightly.

Raking your eyes down Hinata’s form, you shook your head slightly, catching his attention once more.

“I didn’t tell you to stop, Shoyo. Show Bokuto just how much of a slut you are, and maybe I’ll think about touching you myself, okay?”

tags: @bummie @beelziee @bunny-xoxo​ @ultimate-astridwriting

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

seeing someone else.

BISHOP LOSA. MAYANS MC ┃ USEFUL LINKS

❝ request by @encounterthepast: Hello lovely Aurora, can I request angst prompt number 7 with Bishop please, thank you, 💕

❝ prompt: “Don’t you dare to lie to me again”.

❝ request by @arveeee: Hello my dear, so I was thinking, and there is one sentence to that can't go out of my head. So it is: "let me in" with Bishop (I know I'm boring). Well I believe in you, I love you , and I love your writing. Say hello to Arya.

❝ request by anon: Hi, Aurora. I love your writing sm 🥺 I was wondering if I could request an imagine with my man Bishop? I was thinking of something like the reader and him being in kinda like a friends with benefits situation, but she decides to break it offf because she’s really upset. And maybe Bishop doesn’t understand so she eventually explains to him that she wants more out of their relationship and he reassures her they are more and they always have been? Maybe leads to like soft/romantic smut? Thanks so much!

❝ request by @meteora-fc: hello hello! so, that new trailer huh?😵 would absolutely love if you could write me something for a stressed out bishop with the prompts "Stop ignoring me, it’s driving me crazy!" and "Let me help you make it better." Thank you tons!!💖

❝ words: about 1.4k.

❝ a / n: as always, don’t forget to comment and reblog if you liked it!

Another tequila shot goes down your throat, ripping it off as you almost smash the small glass on the table. Tossing your head back as you rest your back against the sofa, sitting on the floor, you take a look around you. The gloomy has taken over your house as the night has fallen a couple of hours ago. It's the fourth night you are trying to forget about Bishop and whatever you two had. But you can't dismiss from your mind his caresses —his fingers drawing patterns on your back, his lips touring your neck with delicate kisses as if he was afraid of breaking your skin, his mustache tickling your inner thighs, his raspy voice articulating your name in moans. It's the fourth night miserably failing, remembering the last time you spent together, the way he was holding his back pretending he wasn't sad because you were leaving him.

“Obispo, it's over. Don't make a big deal. We're just friends who occasionally fucks”. You scoffed somewhat annoyed because of him and his interrogation, but how could you tell him you were falling in love with him?

“I ain't making any deal, (Y/N). I just want to know what made you change your mind and keep a wide berth”.

“I'm seeing someone else”.

"Don't you dare to lie to me”. He growled, taking a step closer towards you with the intention of stopping you from picking up and packing the less stuff you had in his house.

“Think what you want”. You replied, rolling your eyes.

The first tear flows in the left corner of your mouth not appreciably at first, but then, some more until finding yourself crying. You miss him so much. You miss watching him sleep peacefully in the small hours, drifting slightly when you caress his cheek using your fingertips. Flexing your knees to your chest, you wrap your arms around trying to contain the loud sobs, hiding your face between them. How have you been so stupid to fall for him like that? The two of you made it clear from the very first moment. Friends with benefits. But after a couple of weeks, you started to notice that he used to push away any other woman that it wasn't you, he didn't spend much time in the clubhouse preferring to do it in your house —cuddling, watching movies, playing poker; kissing every single inch of flesh covering your anatomy.

Reality hit you the moment he murmured something like you're a miracle, thinking you were calmly sleeping between his strong arms and your back stuck to his chest, no distance among your bodies. You knew it was a thing produced by the alcohol running through your veins and it wasn't fair for you to fantasize about the idea he was catching feelings for you. So you just ran away, like a coward.

Some clumsy knocks on the front door of your house bring you back to reality. At first, you try to ignore them. It's not like you're in the mood for visits, knowing that probably it's Leti at the other side of the place, worried because you haven't replied to her text all day. But she insists and insists. And you know how stubborn she can be sometimes. Serving yourself another shot and drinking it in just one gulp, because you're too sober to endure another of her Ted talks about positivism and what he has lost, you stand up on your bare feet. Everything around you spins dizzyingly for a second until you can react, feeling every knock like a hammer hitting your brain.

“I've heard you the fi—”.

Opening the door to receive her, your vocals get frozen as you face Bishop in a deplorable drunk state. Just like you are.

“Let me in”. He barks, not being able to look at your eyes, trying to pass you away to the inside, but you stop him.

“Go home, Obis—”.

“I'm home, shut the fuck up”. He frowns taking a sip from a bottle of whisky you haven't noticed till now. “You think you can kick my fuckin' ass outta your life by saying you're seeing someone else? You think I'm fuckin' stupid, queri— Were you crying…?”

From anger, his tone of voice falls to one lower and lower, as the concern and the worry cover his annoyance completely. Throwing away his drink to somewhere over the grass of your yard, he holds your face onto his palms. His touch causes you to tremble. His warm touch causes you to break into aching sobs, panting as you can't breathe properly. All this time you've been thinking you have missed him, but you didn't have a real idea of how it feels until his fingers have been laid on your wetted skin.

Bishop comes closer to you, touching the tip of your nose with his. You can smell the mixed scent of cigarettes and whisky emanating from his cracked lips, it doesn't bother you, tho. “Don't kiss me, please”.

Until this precise moment, he has loved your begs and pleads to his bones, but now he hates them more than anything he could ever hate in his life. It breaks his heart. He can't deal with your rejection one night more.

“Why…? Why can't I kiss you?” He asks desperately at the edge of his tears. “Please, stop ignoring me, it's driving me crazy. I can't even take care of my own shit without you by my side”.

Your knees feel weak at his words, still believing he only says that because you're just a good lover, the best in the sheets, as he told you once.

“I… I…” You babble nervously, trying to not place your hands on the laps of his leather kutte to finally push him into the needed kiss you've been craving for the last four days. “I love you”.

And why the confession doesn't take him by surprise? Why doesn't he look confused? Why does it seem like he already knew it? Bishop can't help but draw a fleeting grin across his face.

“Do you think I came here, falling into pieces, just because it feels like being in Heaven when I'm deep inside you?” He whispers, clicking his tongue slightly. “I didn't believe you when you told me you were seeing someone else. But the minimal thought I could have about it made me lose the less sanity I have”.

You blink stupefied at his own confession about his feelings. Your fingers tour his abdomen up in slow motion, starting to have some faith in his words.

“Mi amor…” Bishop mumbles in soft giggles shaking his head. “I adore you, mi amor. I don't want anything else than to share my life with you, and only with you”.

He doesn't wait for a signal from you to kiss your lips, he just takes what it's his. And you can't hold back a painful gasp, expelling in it all the sorrow you've been carrying for the last four days being separated from him. Your hands grip his shirt in two fists, pushing him as much closer as the two of you can be, about to melt in the same figure. All this time you have been trying to not love him, to forget him; and you were just delaying the inevitable. You are made for each other, that's a fact. Your lips fit to perfection —your bodies, your hearts.

“Tell me you love me”. You whimper against his mouth, causing him to smile because of your need of making it real by these simple three words.

“Love isn't enough to express what you make me feel”.

Bishop bends down without prior notice to wrap his huge hands on the back of your thighs, urging you to jump onto him and surround his waist with your legs. You haven't forgotten how good his warmth takes over you when he holds you like that, walking inside your house and kicking the door close. Guiding his steps across your place and its hallways, he reaches your dark dorm barely illuminated by a post light outdoors. He lies you down on your bed —a bed that has welcomed you for the last eight months in every kind of state. Drunk, tired, happy.

Now, you're a mix of them. Drunk in tequila, tired of crying, but happy for having him back for the rest of your life.

GENERAL TAG LIST: @mayans-sauce @peoniarose @destynelseclipsa @band-psycho @myakai13 @petlaufeyson @-im-fantastic- @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @rocketqueen @rosieposie0624 @ellyseveronica @Jessprins13 @diaryofkali @ravenmoore14 @starrynite7114 @kenbechillin @miahelen @monkeyluver4546 @sheeshgivemeabreak @jadesamhart @rawrlittlepanda-95 @megapeacelovemusic-blog @katsav17 @skits90s @wildsould1221 @littlekittymeow @tenderclio @badame1240 @regalbanshee @greeneyedblondie44 @phoenixhalliwell @codenamewife

MAYANS MC: @multiyfandomgirl40 @countryash345 @skyofficialxx @lovebishoplosamiguelgalindo @bellisperennis0 @chibsytelford @trulysuccubus @purrrrfect @witching-hour @leathercladmenfics @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @queenbeered @sesamepancakes @gemini0410 @pinguinstudiert @oscars-wifeyyy @meteora-fc @lozaa94 @arveee @joupym @hanster1998 @missswritings @arana-alpha

[garrothromeave]

let’s talk about minecraft diaries rebirth.

and why it’s literally amazing. (warning: this will contain spoilers. lots of them. also, long post ahead.)

i think a lot of people hate mcdr because they were expecting a remake; but the point of rebirth is for jess to rewrite it. it wasn't supposed to be exactly the same.

honestly i went into mcdr with a closed mind. as an og mcd fan, i thought that this was going to suck ass and that i'd rant about how bad it was to my friends later. but actually watching it, i just... couldn't help but immediately fall in love with it.

ik im probably the only motherfucker that likes mcdr, but honestly how could i not? for one, garroth and zenix actually have personalities at the beginning. AND; the villagers? actually amazing. donna made me smile, visher made me laugh and cry, brendan was just bein as good as ever. like... i even didn't despise emmalyn with every ounce of my soul like i usually do?? the characterizations of them were GOOD, man.

and honestly, aphmau like--the way she spoke, her whole thing. it was reallyyy well done in my opinion. she was oblivious to things, but it wasn't overdone and wasn't done in a way to make her annoying. she's a very appealing character in mcdr, a main protagonist i do not mind following along with. her dynamics to the characters are really cool and all very unique.  gonna cut it here so i don’t clog y’all’s feed cuz i got a lot to say :)

the early use of aphmau’s powers was actually pretty cool as well, it also really showed how clueless aphmau really was to everything going on around her. AND UH, THE FACT THAT SHE THOUGHT THAT GARROTH FELT FAMILIAR? GOLDEN. absolutely golden.

AND GENE OH BOY, the early introduction of gene? ik a lot of people are upset about it, but god DAMN i love it so much. his role in the story is very important in original, and i cannot express how much joy this brought me learning that he was actually getting the proper attention for it. and the fact that gene and aphmau were working together?? i mean ik gene was just trying to use her to get back to the "shadow abyss" (pretty pog replacement for the nether, gg) but god DAMN i loved every moment of it. i found their dynamic to be pretty fuckin funny to be honest, would absolutely love to see more of it.

i might be biased considering gene is one of my absolute favorite characters, but i honestly think that introducing gene this early on in the story was a good move. again, he's literally the right-hand man to the shadow lord. it makes you really wonder why he didn't have as much of an important role in season 1 or even 2 of the original mcd plotline. also, we get some of that good-ol-fashioned exposition with seeing early on how vylad and gene interact. vylad’s at a very strange point in the story right now; his motives are unclear, even to the side he’s ‘supposed’ to be taking (aka, a shadow knight.)  another early introduction to a character is zane! this, my friends, is good. really good. i’d say that zane is the main antagonist of season 1 in the original series--and he wasn’t even introduced until like, episode 50. it’s not necessarily a bad thing, but him being introduced this early on really gives the audience a better understanding of what threats are out there and what our protagonist will have to encounter in the future. in the original series, there’s not much explanation as to why lords are disappearing/dying left and right--and while yes, that was supposed to be the mystery of it, having some of that early information is a better move in terms of writing. 

AND IVAN?? BEING A PART OF THE JURY OF NINE?? I COULD NOT HAVE ASKED FOR ANYTHING MORE LIKE GOD DAMN that was a very pleasant surprise i'll just say that, thank you jess :)

and no i did not loop the 4 minutes of screentime laurance got in that one episode haha who would do that i would never do that anyways

SPEAKING of laurance, im so glad jess actually wrote him in this early :) she totally could have just waited for the first time aphmau visits meteli and meets him there, but no! she put him in an early episode. i dont even care if she did it just to shut up the fans about laurance but man that made me so happy seeing him, even if it was only for a bit.

okay i kinda wanna go over the guards real fast firstly; garroth. ignoring how weird the helmet showing emotions is, i really like how garroth is portrayed. he's under a lot of pressure because the village is putting a lot of the blame on him for malik's death, and he's trying his hardest to keep things running. the fact that garroth utterly refused the to take up the position of lord and even got a little snappy about it was actually really cool to see as well. and while he doesn’t have that same “reserved, quiet, observant” feel as the original mcd version of him had, this version of garroth is absolutely awesome. he’s more direct and blunt, is significantly more sarcastic, and isn’t as stiff or as much as a pushover as he is in the original. he even has a sense of humour. also, no homo, but he’s kinda adorable.  plus, the desperation that he goes through during the whole thing is just--it’s really cool to see how hard he’s trying to prove himself and help the village. my rating for mcdr garroth? 9/10. the helmet... the helmet is the main thing throwin me off, i can’t lie. next, zenix. oh BOY do i have a lot to say about this man. first of all, his and garroth’s dynamic is incredible. when i saw how the interacted with each other, my first thought was: father and son. zenix has this immaturity to him that is so fucking fun and interesting to watch, and seeing how garroth scolds him is so fuckin good man. and! seeing how he interacts with the rest of the village... honestly, if jess ever picks this story up again, i would probably cry when zenix (literally) backstabs garroth. HELL, i hope that’s something that still happens, it’d be heartbreaking to witness this character that we’ve come to love hurting his mentor, the man who took him in. he’s just a really good character all in all, and much more appealing than the original mcd zenix. ...except season 3 zenix. no zenix can be better than that one.  either way, zenix is amazing written to be the comic relief and he’s just an all-out lovable character in this series.  finally, dale and brian. yes i’m going to group them up because there’s not much to say regarding them, but i do want to address them. for starters, we have brian; who’s already 16 when the story starts. good on jess for doing that, because in the original aphmau watched brian be born and age INCREDIBLY quick, haha. THOUGH i do feel like there’s a slight connection lost there--one of the hardest things about brian’s betrayal in the original series in the fact that we watched him grow up in phoenix drop. we were there from the moment he was born, to the second he betrayed phoenix drop. BUT OF COURSE, this version is a lot more realistic, so it’s understandable. i just think that if it’s brian who’ll be betraying phoenix drop again (if it even goes down that same route), it won’t hit as hard unless jess really takes the time to grow the connection between brian and aphmau.  as for dale; gotta admit, love it. and like, i think one of the main things about how good of a call it was to make him a drunkard from the beginning is considering how much the village is struggling. the fact that the second-in-command is literally drunk all of the time really conveys the message of, “yeah. this village needs help.” plus, he’s another good comic relief character. i loved seeing molly and dale’s relationship too, it was very funny.  PLUS. we were blessed with a well scene, in which aphmau had to help villagers out of the well. i don’t know about you guys, but that was one of my favorite nods to the original series. i cannot thank jess enough for that, there was a smile on my face the entire time. another amazing thing--visher’s character. instead of just being introduced to this quirky lil merchant who only had one or two interactions with aphmau like in the first one, we got to sit there and really get a feel for someone worth remembering and worth mourning over. we had a reason to be sad over his death, it wasn’t just some npc getting blown up suddenly. this was different, and this hurt.  one of the major things that i hope is to come out of this is for jess to fix the major mistakes she had when writing the first series. she’d expressed how unhappy she was with some of the decisions she made, and i’m glad that she’s getting that second chance to undo the things she didn’t like. this series also gives her a second chance to really, really dig into characters and their motives. like, gimme laurance backstory in better detail. or like, garroth and zane’s relationship from back when they were kids? or how vylad died and who killed him? etc etc. she’s already done an excellent job so far, and i can’t wait to see where this goes. that is, if she ever continues it. god, i wish there were more episodes so that i could seriously let you guys know how beautiful of a series this is. there’s so much i want to say about rebirth, but i think i’ll stop here. i might say some more shit about it later, but if there’s anything i’d want you to take away from this, it’s: give minecraft diaries rebirth a chance. there’s a lot of potential, and this is a chance for jess to really change things for the better! ... but again, that is if this ever is continued. 

[thembo-for-anime]

Hii im back with a request:) what about bakugou getting hit with a quirk that makes him REALLY clingy and soft like- omf THAT WOULD BE SO CUTE. It would be fun if he would be clingy and the bakusquad seeing it and being confused af

GROUCHY

A/N: I may have written two pieces because I just couldn’t stop typing with this idea. First is head canons with the entire Bakusquad and the second is a short one shot with just you and Bakugo.

Pairings: Bakugo x Reader

Wordcount: 1.1k

Warnings: none! just fluff and some PDA

usually getting hit with a villain’s quirk wasn’t that much of a problem for Bakugo since they usually wore off after he knocks them out 

but this one seemed to have some residual effects

this frustrated him because he wanted to be in control of himself at all times

it didn’t help that he had already agreed to hang out with the Bakusquad and you after patrol

so he had to show up and be as discreet about the side effects as possible

ten minutes into hanging out and he decides he absolutely hates it with a burning passion

he hates how every part of his body is craving to reach out and touch you

how uncomfortable it felt to keep his hands by his sides

to keep himself away from you

being clingy was one of the things he found annoying so the fact he’s exhibiting those traits makes him want to strangle himself

of course you wouldn’t mind but he couldn’t help but doubt himself

not to mention the Bakusquad was around and he wasn’t going to be soft in front of them

he’s gotta keep his cool image

that no one believes he has but just let him think it

this caused him to become extremely irritated

more so than usual

and  E V E R Y O N E  noticed

they thought that maybe he just had a bad patrol so they tried cheering him up

he would just scoff and roll his eyes, trying to keep them off of you

trying to keep his mind off of you

but nothing was working

his skin started to feel prickly and he just wanted to hold you so bad

it actually started to physically hurt him to not touch you

so when you reach back to hold his hand he practically melts into a puddle

all the resolve he had from before leaves his body

so much for trying to keep it in control

says a mental “fuck it” before he pulls you back into his arms and holds onto you like you’re a life line

“Ack- Katsuki are you okay?” 

although since you were buried in his chest it probably sounded like a jumble of sounds

“I just- I need to hold you”

buries his head in the crook of your neck and lets out a big sigh of relief

the feeling of you against him washes away the prickly uncomfortable sensation which only encourages him to hold onto you more

THIS MAKES YOU MELT

he’s not really one to tell you things like that unprompted or show big PDA

especially with friends around, who most definitely could see/hear you

after a bit of time you go to pull away but he mumbles something about how he’s not done

your face starts getting a bit flush with the increasing awareness of the fact that most of your friends have turned back to see why you two stopped so suddenly

but he just pouts as you try to wiggle out of his loving embrace

YEAH ACTUALLY POUTING

“Baby, we’re still out with our friends”

“I don’t care about them, I just want you”

GOD THIS MAN-

Kirishima would have to help pry him off of you

this makes Bakugo whine and reach for you again

GRABBY HANDS GRABBY HANDS GRABBY HAN-

Mina is taking so many videos for later because they’d surely NEVER see him like this again and she needed to savor this moment forever

Sero and Denki are just laughing their asses off at his antics

“Pft- holy crap what happened to the Big Bad Bakugo?!”

“AHHAH I don’t know -wheeze- mans pride really said gn streaks”

“SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU BEFORE I KILL YOU!”

but his threats are emptier than Mineta’s head a crushed soda can :)

defo holds you from behind with his head on your shoulder while he yells at them

Mina pats him on the head and says “Aww I think it��s cute Bakugo”

HOMEBOY CLOSES HIS EYES AND HUMS BEFORE HE REALIZES WHAT HE’S DONE

everyone slowly realizes that this is their one opportunity to give Bakugo all their love and affection without him murdering them

cue everyone hugging onto him and he’s too content to really yell at them

he’d still pretend to be grumpy about it just because he’s desperately trying to hold onto his cool guy image

eventually you all come up with a system to keep Bakugo happy while y’all hang out

he latches onto one person until they get tired then trade off with the next

“It’s like taking care of a baby”

“I’M NO BABY!”

I HAD TO WRITE OUT AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SCENE WITH JUST YOU AND BAKUGO BECAUSE I COULDN’T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD

“Fuckin-” You’re caught off guard by Bakugo’s cursing as he slams open the front door a bit too harshly. A slight cracking noise from the wall seemed to irritate him even more causing the vein on his forehead to strain under his skin. “Just perfect,” he mutters bitterly to himself.

“Katsuki is everything alright?” you ask, concern slipping into your voice as you get up from the couch.

Growling he walks past you. “Everything is just peachy,” he says through gritted teeth before moving towards the kitchen. 

Letting out a small laugh, you stroll up to his back—which refused to turn around so that you couldn’t see his face—before wrapping your arms around his torso. “Somebody’s grouchy,” you remark before kissing between his shoulder blades.

Your embrace was warm and inviting, everything Bakugo had been trying to avoid. With that stupid villain’s quirk he wasn’t sure how it was going to effect him. An emotional manipulation quirk, it was explained to him later, that allowed that stupid villain to give or take away emotions. He was worried that it might cause him to do something that would’ve hurt you. That’s why he tried to keep his distance. But it was so hard with how understanding you were, how you always wanted to talk things out if there was a problem, how you always tried to understand what he really meant to say instead of taking the brash words that flew from his mouth at face value. He honestly didn’t even deserve you.

Now usually at this point, Bakugo would throw out some comment about how he’s perfectly fine or even that it was you who was the one that was grouchy, but for the moment he stayed silent. 

In fact, he stopped his movement completely which started to worry you. That is until he leaned back into your hold and brought your hand up to his mouth, giving it a gentle kiss. “Katsu are you okay?” you ask before he finally turns around, his hold on your hand replaced quickly by the other.

“Yeah I just...I got hit by some dumbass villain's stupid quirk and…” he trails off mumbling something into your palm that you couldn’t quite make out.

“What was that?” 

Your question seems to agitate him even more, causing his cheeks to flush a deeper red. “I said it’s making me feel...needy,” he answers, almost sounding disgusted by himself. You can’t help the laugh that slips from your mouth at his confession. “Are you making fun of me?!” he growls.

“No baby, I- pft, no it’s just, you’re making it sound like it’s the end of the world,” you say looking up at him with an amused smile.

He grumbles as he crosses his arms, before immediately becoming uncomfortable from the lack of contact. “It’s just- It’s so uncool,” he mutters before you reach for his arms. He lets you uncross them—almost gladly— as you rewrap them around yourself. Letting out a sigh of relief, he settles his hand below the hem of your shirt and starts rubbing his thumb up and down against the now visible skin of your torso.

“Katsuki look at me,” you say, threading your hands through his hair. Almost absentmindedly, he leans his head into your hand and looks up at you with the gentlest gaze you’ve ever seen. One that held no trace of irritation in his normally intense stare, no cocky grin, just a look of pure unadulterated affection. “I love you for you, okay? No quirk could ever make me love you less. Is that understood?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

He nods his head slowly before whispering something you would’ve missed had you two not been standing so close together.

“Can you say it again?”

You take a moment to understand what he’s asking, but once you do you comply with his request. Bringing both hands to rest on his cheeks you repeat yourself, “I love you.”

“Again.”

Letting out a small laugh, you bring him into a soft kiss before pulling back so that you could rest your forehead on his. “I love you Katsuki, with all my heart.”

[thesunicarusfellfor]

Found (Outside the Screen) (CC!Dream x GN!Reader) Part 2

Request: That dream angst fuckin wrecked my heart..any chance for a part 2 with comfort(im not the og requester so if not thats fine its just OUGH my heart)

I have written this three times over because tumblr didn’t save it. THEN. Tumblr doesn’t show it to ANYONE unless they check my account. This happened to my Ranboo fic as well... I will honestly cry if no one sees this.

Once again. This is a completely fictitious story and version of Clay.

TW: Panic attacks, self deprecating thoughts,

"(Y/n)!"

His voice echoed through the house as you scrambled around corners to escape the possible wrath of your boyfriend. Or maybe even soon to be ex boyfriend.

Despite living in this house with him for a little over two years, it was beginning to feel like a maze. You couldn't tell which way was left and which way was right, your head spinning with panic as you gasped for breath.

He's gonna find you...

The house wasn't even that big, and quite an open concept, so you had no idea why you were finding it so confusing. All you knew at the moment was...

Get out.

Once your eyes landed on the door that lead out, you made a beeline towards it and flung it open. Maybe you should've known better than to attempt to run from the manhunt god...

The footsteps pounding against the floor not too far behind you startled you enough to jump outside and slam the door behind you in hopes of giving yourself enough time to run farther.

There were plenty of things failing to register in your mind as you ran down the empty sidewalks. Such as the poor choice (or lack) of shoes you were wearing, or even the heavy night rain pelting down on your shaking body.

Your lungs were burning.. But your brain had thrown itself so far into fight or flight mode that you had no care for anything around you, hardly blinking twice as the signs of unfamiliar street names flew past you.

Eventually, when you physically couldn't breathe any longer, you sat on a bench and took awhile to think. The consistent rain pelting down on your head was actually a decent grounder to help you snap yourself out of it... But that only caused more confusion and another wave of panic to wash over you.

Where... were you?

Doesn't matter. Don't go back.

Oh God... He hates you..

Why wouldn't he..?

He was too embarrassed to show you to his chat!

What did you do that was so embarrassing?

God.. What was so wrong with you that he stayed in his streaming room for days on end!?

Pulling your knees up to your chest, you choked back a few sobs, trying your best to keep what was left of your composure. Very quickly, however, you gave up on trying to hold yourself together and broke down, hiding your face in your knees.

Time seemed to pass by way too quickly but also way too slowly at the same time.. Like time itself was giving you the one finger salute. When you finally stopped crying, you leaned back against the back of the bench and gave a shaky sigh before you decided to attempt to think rationally again.

You had no clue where you were. Nothing looked familiar. What time is it? No clue, you don't have your... Your phone!

You quickly scrambled to your pocket to pull out the cellular device, and stared at the black screen for a few seconds. Anxiety was the reason for your hesitance as you stared into your reflection, frowning slightly. Without thinking twice, you pressed the button and the screen lit up with various arrays of colours.

78 Missed calls from Clay💚

2 Missed calls from George👓🇬🇧

7 Missed calls from Sapnap🔥

Was... He so mad that his friends were trying to yell at you too? You tilted your head slightly and scrolled through the other notifications on your lockscreen.

Twitter seemed to be losing their minds over your boyfriend's stream and wondering who the stranger was. Seeing the headlines flooded you with immeasurable guilt and you almost put your phone down again, if your phone didn't start buzzing.

You glanced down at the screen and say Clay was making call number 79... Man, he was persistent.. and he would probably continue to call until you answered...

Your finger hovered over the decline button, before slowly moving over and landing on the green one instead. "...Hello...?"

"(Y/n)...?" Had... He been crying...? "Oh my god! You're alive!" He gasped out with glee before giving a few sobs of... relief...?

"...You... Aren't... Mad?" You whispered very softly and hesitantly, your voice scratchy and sore from crying.

He sighed and there was a little bit of shuffling as well as a few male voices in the background. "No. Not in the slightest... Where are you? I want to apologize in person.. And when it doesn't sound like you're in a hurricane.."

You lifted your head up to look at the rain that was continuing to pelt down on you before looking around. "..I'm not sure.." You heard your partner echo your statement in question form as you looked for street signs through the rain. Glancing back at your phone, you saw the screen light up again, this time it was a warning label.

Your battery was almost dead...

"C-Clay.. My phone is going to die.." You murmured softly, your heart filling with dread as you turned down your brightness and closed any unnecessary apps.

There was a little bit of clattering and shuffling on the line as Clay hurriedly walked from the windows to the door, trying to see you from the home. "G-give me landmarks! Hurry!" He practically begged as you shot up from your bench, ignoring the burning soreness in your legs.

Spinning around quickly, you began listing off a few company buildings you saw, trying to shout over the rain and a few cars driving by. "Yeah-yeah! There's also that little sushi place beside the restaurant too.."

You heard the furious typing of his computer before another almost sob of relief. "You're on Rosewood Avenue... How the hell did you run that far? Okay, you're going to walk in the opposite direction of the sushi place until you reach a road called Miller Road, got that?" He waited for a verbal noise of agreement before continuing, "Once you get there, turn left and keep walking straight until you get to a steakhouse. I'll meet you half way, if you don't see me there, don't move unless you have to. Got it?" He asked firmly, with a small hint of desperation in his tone.

You rubbed your face as you mentally repeated the directions to yourself. "Yeah.. Yeah.. I got it." You began to walk along the sidewalks, your shoulders beginning to tremble from the water induced shivers trailing up and down your spine.

"..(Y/n)?"

"Yeah?"

"I lov-"

Your phone died..

Pulling the device away from your head, you pressed the buttons a few times before groaning and shoving it into your pockets as you began to walk.

Your mind was blurry but also hyper aware along the walk to the road where Clay told you to go. 'What was he going to say? If... He doesn't hate me... was he going to say- No.. no. He hadn't said that line in over a few months now.. No reason why he would say it now..' You mentally scolded yourself.

The rain didn't seem to be too keen on letting up as you walked through large rippling puddles. Your clothes were soaked, your hair completely drenched and you were pretty sure you were gonna need to buy a new phone with how much your current one was getting waterlogged..

You rose your arm to shield your face from the onslaught of water that a car had caused by driving through a large puddle before running your hand down your face.

Part of you was still a bit.. angry... at Clay... He had ignored you for so long and wanted nothing to do with you.. Then suddenly you spill hot coffee on yourself and then boom, you have the man more focused than when he has a good speed run seed. What about all those times you were begging him to come to bed, or at least eat dinner at the table with you? Did you only matter when you were in pain?

Biting your lip, you shook off the thought as you looked up again to see the steakhouse that you were directed to go to, the signs glowingly and people shuffling in and out through the doors...

Then there was another man, standing under a large black umbrella wearing a damp lime green hoodie...

Only you'd recognize that face anywhere where others wouldn't.. Standing in the street lights perfectly was your boyfriend, Clay.

Your heart trembled but also melted slightly upon seeing that he wasn't paying attention to his screen anymore. You. He was focused on finding you...

As you began to walk closer, you saw him lift his head and stare at you for a few seconds before dropping the umbrella and lunge forward to wrap you in a loving embrace. "I'm sorry.." Was the first thing he whispered, his voice almost as hoarse as yours. "I know.. that a simple apology will never excuse what I put you through... You cared for me, and even after a stupidly ignored you... You still didn't leave, or get angry. I don't deserve you, I know that, and you have every right to be upset, angry or whatever you're feeling right now.. Please, it doesn't matter how long it takes... Just let me make it up to you and let me prove myself worthy of your love again.."

Your lips parted in surprise as you stared at him, the streetlight poorly capturing his normal beauty, but still doing it well enough that you felt your heart soar. "Clay..." Your eyes traced his features, his puffy and reddened eyes and his cheeks stained with tear tracks, "You have a lot to work and make up for... I'm not going to forgive you immediately, but I'm not going to leave you.. We can work things out.. Together, okay?"

He eagerly nodded and gently held your face in his hands before pressing a light kiss to your forehead. "I'll break away from video editing and streaming for a while.. So I can focus on repairing things with you.."

You buried your face into the male's sweater, that was beginning to become soaked as well from the rain and you, and closed your eyes as you wrapped your arms around him.

"(Y/n)?"

"Mm..?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Clay."

[icarushasfallenfromthestars]

That dream angst fuckin wrecked my heart..any chance for a part 2 with comfort(im not the og requester so if not thats fine its just OUGH my heart)

So both you and the og requester asked for a part 2, which means I'm definitely gonna do it! (I'd do it even if the og didn't ask so lmao) I HAD TO REWRITE THIS 12 GOD DAMN TIMES BECAUSE TUMBLR IS SHIT AT SAVING THINGS

I'm honestly so glad people enjoy my writings! Feel free to request more! My inbox is open and I have no requests lined up yet!

Once again. This is a completely fictitious story and version of Clay.

TW: Panic attacks, self deprecating thoughts,

Part one

Found (Outside The Screen) (Dream x GN! Reader) Part 2

"(Y/n)!"

His voice echoed through the house as you scrambled around corners to escape the possible wrath of your boyfriend. Or maybe even soon to be ex boyfriend.

Despite living in this house with him for a little over two years, it was beginning to feel like a maze. You couldn't tell which way was left and which way was right, your head spinning with panic as you gasped for breath.

He's gonna find you...

The house wasn't even that big, and quite an open concept, so you had no idea why you were finding it so confusing. All you knew at the moment was...

Get out.

Once your eyes landed on the door that lead out, you made a beeline towards it and flung it open. Maybe you should've known better than to attempt to run from the manhunt god...

The footsteps pounding against the floor not too far behind you startled you enough to jump outside and slam the door behind you in hopes of giving yourself enough time to run farther.

There were plenty of things failing to register in your mind as you ran down the empty sidewalks. Such as the poor choice (or lack) of shoes you were wearing, or even the heavy night rain pelting down on your shaking body.

Your lungs were burning.. But your brain had thrown itself so far into fight or flight mode that you had no care for anything around you, hardly blinking twice as the signs of unfamiliar street names flew past you.

Eventually, when you physically couldn't breathe any longer, you sat on a bench and took awhile to think. The consistent rain pelting down on your head was actually a decent grounder to help you snap yourself out of it... But that only caused more confusion and another wave of panic to wash over you.

Where... were you?

Doesn't matter. Don't go back.

Oh God... He hates you..

Why wouldn't he..?

He was too embarrassed to show you to his chat!

What did you do that was so embarrassing?

God.. What was so wrong with you that he stayed in his streaming room for days on end!?

Pulling your knees up to your chest, you choked back a few sobs, trying your best to keep what was left of your composure. Very quickly, however, you gave up on trying to hold yourself together and broke down, hiding your face in your knees.

Time seemed to pass by way too quickly but also way too slowly at the same time.. Like time itself was giving you the one finger salute. When you finally stopped crying, you leaned back against the back of the bench and gave a shaky sigh before you decided to attempt to think rationally again.

You had no clue where you were. Nothing looked familiar. What time is it? No clue, you don't have your... Your phone!

You quickly scrambled to your pocket to pull out the cellular device, and stared at the black screen for a few seconds. Anxiety was the reason for your hesitance as you stared into your reflection, frowning slightly. Without thinking twice, you pressed the button and the screen lit up with various arrays of colours.

78 Missed calls from Clay💚

2 Missed calls from George👓🇬🇧

7 Missed calls from Sapnap🔥

Was... He so mad that his friends were trying to yell at you too? You tilted your head slightly and scrolled through the other notifications on your lockscreen.

Twitter seemed to be losing their minds over your boyfriend's stream and wondering who the stranger was. Seeing the headlines flooded you with immeasurable guilt and you almost put your phone down again, if your phone didn't start buzzing.

You glanced down at the screen and say Clay was making call number 79... Man, he was persistent.. and he would probably continue to call until you answered...

Your finger hovered over the decline button, before slowly moving over and landing on the green one instead. "...Hello...?"

"(Y/n)...?" Had... He been crying...? "Oh my god! You're alive!" He gasped out with glee before giving a few sobs of... relief...?

"...You... Aren't... Mad?" You whispered very softly and hesitantly, your voice scratchy and sore from crying.

He sighed and there was a little bit of shuffling as well as a few male voices in the background. "No. Not in the slightest... Where are you? I want to apologize in person.. And when it doesn't sound like you're in a hurricane.."

You lifted your head up to look at the rain that was continuing to pelt down on you before looking around. "..I'm not sure.." You heard your partner echo your statement in question form as you looked for street signs through the rain. Glancing back at your phone, you saw the screen light up again, this time it was a warning label.

Your battery was almost dead...

"C-Clay.. My phone is going to die.." You murmured softly, your heart filling with dread as you turned down your brightness and closed any unnecessary apps.

There was a little bit of clattering and shuffling on the line as Clay hurriedly walked from the windows to the door, trying to see you from the home. "G-give me landmarks! Hurry!" He practically begged as you shot up from your bench, ignoring the burning soreness in your legs.

Spinning around quickly, you began listing off a few company buildings you saw, trying to shout over the rain and a few cars driving by. "Yeah-yeah! There's also that little sushi place beside the restaurant too.."

You heard the furious typing of his computer before another almost sob of relief. "You're on Rosewood Avenue... How the hell did you run that far? Okay, you're going to walk in the opposite direction of the sushi place until you reach a road called Miller Road, got that?" He waited for a verbal noise of agreement before continuing, "Once you get there, turn left and keep walking straight until you get to a steakhouse. I'll meet you half way, if you don't see me there, don't move unless you have to. Got it?" He asked firmly, with a small hint of desperation in his tone.

You rubbed your face as you mentally repeated the directions to yourself. "Yeah.. Yeah.. I got it." You began to walk along the sidewalks, your shoulders beginning to tremble from the water induced shivers trailing up and down your spine.

"..(Y/n)?"

"Yeah?"

"I lov-"

Your phone died..

Pulling the device away from your head, you pressed the buttons a few times before groaning and shoving it into your pockets as you began to walk.

Your mind was blurry but also hyper aware along the walk to the road where Clay told you to go. 'What was he going to say? If... He doesn't hate me... was he going to say- No.. no. He hadn't said that line in over a few months now.. No reason why he would say it now..' You mentally scolded yourself.

The rain didn't seem to be too keen on letting up as you walked through large rippling puddles. Your clothes were soaked, your hair completely drenched and you were pretty sure you were gonna need to buy a new phone with how much your current one was getting waterlogged..

You rose your arm to shield your face from the onslaught of water that a car had caused by driving through a large puddle before running your hand down your face.

Part of you was still a bit.. angry... at Clay... He had ignored you for so long and wanted nothing to do with you.. Then suddenly you spill hot coffee on yourself and then boom, you have the man more focused than when he has a good speed run seed. What about all those times you were begging him to come to bed, or at least eat dinner at the table with you? Did you only matter when you were in pain?

Biting your lip, you shook off the thought as you looked up again to see the steakhouse that you were directed to go to, the signs glowingly and people shuffling in and out through the doors...

Then there was another man, standing under a large black umbrella wearing a damp lime green hoodie...

Only you'd recognize that face anywhere where others wouldn't.. Standing in the street lights perfectly was your boyfriend, Clay.

Your heart trembled but also melted slightly upon seeing that he wasn't paying attention to his screen anymore. You. He was focused on finding you...

As you began to walk closer, you saw him lift his head and stare at you for a few seconds before dropping the umbrella and lunge forward to wrap you in a loving embrace. "I'm sorry.." Was the first thing he whispered, his voice almost as hoarse as yours. "I know.. that a simple apology will never excuse what I put you through... You cared for me, and even after a stupidly ignored you... You still didn't leave, or get angry. I don't deserve you, I know that, and you have every right to be upset, angry or whatever you're feeling right now.. Please, it doesn't matter how long it takes... Just let me make it up to you and let me prove myself worthy of your love again.."

Your lips parted in surprise as you stared at him, the streetlight poorly capturing his normal beauty, but still doing it well enough that you felt your heart soar. "Clay..." Your eyes traced his features, his puffy and reddened eyes and his cheeks stained with tear tracks, "You have a lot to work and make up for... I'm not going to forgive you immediately, but I'm not going to leave you.. We can work things out.. Together, okay?"

He eagerly nodded and gently held your face in his hands before pressing a light kiss to your forehead. "I'll break away from video editing and streaming for a while.. So I can focus on repairing things with you.."

You buried your face into the male's sweater, that was beginning to become soaked as well from the rain and you, and closed your eyes as you wrapped your arms around him.

"(Y/n)?"

"Mm..?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Clay."

[fktonofwhatnow]

ok hold on. acomaf is my fave book out of the whole series (it's mostly out of emotional value, i read it when i was younger and didn't have a real understanding out trauma and abuse only that i saw a character i loved getting out of a bad situation and getting happy) so obviously i didn't mind feysand being endgame and the development all of the characters had. i can accept tamlin turned out like that is realistic due to his trauma, i can accept feyre had to flee because it wasn't right for her, but the thing is after acofs i see no point to feyre leaving tamlin when rhysand ends up doing everything they told us tamlin was evil and unredeemable for. hiding the risks of her pregnancy, putting on shields on her, having feyre need to compromise over it. i honestly felt so betrayed by that. i'm not saying feyre and tamlin were good for each other, but it doesn't feel worth it to dismiss the potential they had for what we got with feysand.

also, sarah learn to treat "ugly" trauma with respect challenge. no they don't need to learn to physically fight to fight it. no they don't need a love interest to overcome it. yes the behaviors acquired from trauma and abuse aren't pretty but that doesn't mean a person is undeserving of kindness and compassion.

i think i had a point somewhere but i can't get to it. so hope you don't mind my rambling. anyway i loved your meta about tamlin i think he deserves better too

HOLY SHIT THIS ONE IS SO GOOD OK IM SO EXCITED

Bro you are so fine, I'm the one who doesn't make any sense and I totally get what you're trying to say. (Acomaf was actually my favorite book in the series too ngl)

BUT FUCK YEAH LETS TALK ABOUT RHYSAND.

I don't think it's a secret that Rhysand is one of my least favorite characters in media, probably ever? (How do I even put this into words) He is a bad character and to me, laughably so. You know how if you've ever written a character, there's that little phase that's like "what if people don't like this character' and then you're sad for a little bit? That's how Rhysand feels to me. He feels like SJM looked at this character and thought "I can't stand the thought of people not liking this character because I love him so much" and then did everything in her power to make sure we know how great he is.

Idk if this is just me screaming into the void, but I get to this place with my characters where like, especially if they are a little more morally gray or their decisions have negative impacts, I understand that I don't need the audience to like my main character. they can stand on their own, they can own up to what they do and they can grow from it. Thats what a good character does. That's how you keep your audience rooting for them. You gotta knock them over sometimes.

SJm doesn't knock Rhysand over. She doesn't push him to make mistakes, apologize, own up and move on. Rhysand has never made a decision that ended poorly for him. Everything goes the way he wants it to, because SJm wants us to know how cool and great he is. People who are cool and great don't make bad decisions! SJm doesn't let Rhysand fail, and she doesn't let him suffer his own decisions. Everyone else suffers his decisions, not him.

Rhysand's reputation as a good person hinges entirely on the audience liking him and/or thinking he's hot. And then what happens when the audience thinks neither of those things? Ya get a rly long post like this by a lil enby who is mad all the time. Rhysand loses all credibility when you look at him through a critical lens. Not a single thing the man does makes any goddamn sense. Here I thought acosf would give us a different perspective on Feysand and I was desperately hoping that Nesta would tell us what she really sees in them and how people around them really feel, I hoped that SjM would throw us for a loop and tell us that hey, she does know that Feysand are fucking toxic as hell and ruin the lives of people around them and she wants to show us that from an outside perspective but noooOoOOOoOoOOOO...

Instead we get Nesta hating herself because Rhysand told her that she shouldn't tell Feyre that Feyre could uh die in childbirth. Hey what the fuck.

Now I don't actually ship feylin, I kinda always sorta knew, even without spoilers, that it wasn't going to work out. Tamlin isn't sjm's idea of a good partner because he's not charming and witty and dark and handsome ya know? We met Rhysand and I knew that I was going to fucking hate this romance. Which sucks because I found Rhysand so intriguing in the first book. Ngl all the time spent in the spring court was kinda boring and every time Rhysand showed up to throw dead faeries at Tamlin I was like "oooooo" and I wanted to know more about why Tamlin, this awkward, blunt and kinda shy dude had beef with this super duper sly and shady man from another court.

I don't know if I've ever said this before, but SJm doesn't let her love interests grow. Rhysand doesn't change over the course of the story because he was already a good guy and his motives were for Feyre's sake I swear, the same goes for Rowan in TOG. SJm doesn't give Rhysand room to change. She needs to get to the part where they fuck make sure everyone knows that Rhysand is a good guy and actually he was good all along so that we like him more than Tamlin. It backtracks on everything bad Rhysand has ever done because you know... He had a good reason! It's fine!

I know it's probably just because SJm doesn't actually know how to write a good character growth arc but... Like can you imagine if Rhysand stayed the bad guy? Or at least remained the bad guy through acotar and acomaf? And then when Rhysand comes to take Feyre for his bargain it really was only to spite Tamlin? What about Rhysand, taking Feyre to the night court with him once a week every month for a long time, if only to see Tamlin's eyes grow darker and emptier every time he goes, and then he really starts to fall in love with Feyre. He's been a monster all this time, angry and cold and cruel and then he actually starts to fall in love. And then to get Feyre to stay he really does try to change, he stops antagonizing Feyre, he stops throwing dead faeries at Tamlin, and he stops harassing the Spring court. He starts spending genuine quality time with Feyre, he starts to learn about her and all the things she likes and he stops trying to get her to come with him just so Tamlin will be mad. He starts asking her to come with him because he wants to be around her and he prays that someday she'll want to be around him too. What if SJm let him grow.

But nahhhhhh instead we have a character who always knows the right answer to things, and he always knows how to fix every issue, and he is always so innovative and outside the box except that he isn't. We get a character who does the same shit as Tamlin but it's ok because he had a good reason not to tell Feyre that she could very well die in childbirth. Uhhhh don't know what that is but uhhh I know he has his reasons because all he has are his reasons.

It would be so easy to hold a mirror up to Rhysand and say "look at this. Look who you are. Do you not look just like Tamlin right now?"

But nooooooooOoOOOo Rhysand doesn't get to be wrong. Rhysand doesn't get to look like Tamlin because Tamlin is evil and Rhysand is definitely NOT I SWEAR.

But yeah I think the point I'm trying to make is that Sarah thinks so highly of Rhysand that he could never do wrong. He could never be like Tamlin, despite the narrative literally telling us the exact opposite.

Like you said, we lost the potential of what feylin could have been if SJm didn't suddenly decide that her audience needs to love Rhysand as much as she does. I think feylin could have been slow and sweet and a story of true healing and learning about one another. I think it would have been kind and steady and lots of "are you ok"s and "I'm sorry"s and "talk to me"s. Everything about Feysand feels rushed and hard and fast and the rest of the world doesn't have time to catch up. It's fucking exhausting to read it ya know what I'm saying.

(also can we talk about Rhysand like dying and Feyre finding the suriel and learning he's her mate and then instead of being like "k let's put a pin in that and fuckin save his life first" she like throws him around and everyone is like "wtf woman" and she's like I neeD tO Be alOnE these people have no idea how to prioritize)

Truly, I think it's innocent to a degree. There is absolutely no harm in wanting people to like your character. The harm comes when you destroy another character with no reason or explanation other than you want people to like a different character. Villain arc? Completely out of left field. You gotta build to that shit or like... Make it so that when you look back you slap your forehead and yell at a wall "OF FUCKING COURSE I SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT"

anyways, SJm treat "ugly" trauma with respect challenge SECONDED.

WELL IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME WEEKS YO WRITE IM HAVING A HARD TIME I know it probably doesn't make any sense I can't find my braincells BUT thanks for the ask @xelly

Tell me all your acotar things I love yo hear them !!

[quirklessidiot]

Title: coward :: coming clean Pairing: Y/N x Miya Atsumu Genre: angst, romance, and very slow burn [ex to lovers au] Warnings: Cursing, alchohol, mentions of unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, and mentions of abortion

Synopsis: You try to push him away from you but he isn’t taking any of it, the much long-awaited confrontation is there but you’re still finding a way out.

notes:

have yall seen the new season?? mY FUCKING HEART MAN NSNDNND it got me so stoked i literally wrote something about kita after that trailer skdjjdm kita is so underrated. I love him.

also, a huge thank you for the 200+ followers. Ma’am i literally only had this tumbler a month ago and im already celebrating a lot of milestones, hence i present you a more angsty chapter! I hope you’ll love it <3

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“You’re on gossip sites.” 

“Tsum-tsum, why are you so close to L/N-san? I thought you hated her.”

“Riku-chan’s calling me-”

“Everyone shut up.” The setter throws the ball on the ground, “It’s not what it fucking looked like.”

“Can we talk, ‘tsumu?” Osamu’s voice resonates the most and Miya Atsumu knows where this is going already by the sound of it.  He was surprised to see his brother come by today but when he sees why, he takes it back.

No wonder.

He follows him to the quieter side of the gym, he notices the tense air between them and he knows what's about to follow. He hopes that Osamu does this quickly, he has to practice well since he needs to impress those brats when the game comes up and try to let them have their eyes on him and not on Tobio and Shoyo.

“What the hell are you thinking?” His brother growls, “You have a fucking girlfriend. Y/N has kids and is very much in love with the dead guy who isn’t yo-”

“Why the fuck are you all getting up my ass when its about Y/N?” he suddenly cuts his brother off, eyes narrowed and jaw clenched, “It's been that way since you met her eight years ago. Just tell me that you didn’t like her from the start. You didn’t like her because she was different.”

“I didn’t like her because she wasn’t good for you.” the grey-haired twin barked back in reply, “In case ya don’t remember, You were a fucking mess after she left, Atsumu. You were almost not able to make it into the jackals because of what she did!”

Osamu wasn’t calling him by his nickname anymore, it seemed that the weight of the situation was too serious for him.

“Well, I’m here now aren’t I?”

“And you’re getting involved with her again. Can’t you give it a fucking rest already?” 

“No.”

“Miya Atsumu.” He glowered, grabbing his brother by the collar of his jersey, “Don’t throw a good woman and your career away for someone like her.”

“I’m not throwing shit, ‘samu.” He hissed, slapping his hand away but before he could walk out, the younger twin grabs him and yanks him back, swinging a fist right at his face. The team members of the black jackals are immediately thrown into panic and chaos with what’s happening. Hinata and Bokuto grabs onto Osamu restraining him from damaging the setter even more while Shion and Meian hold back the blonde setter from throwing a punch, “Stop acting like a fuckin’ brat, ‘tsumu.” The twin yelled while Atsumu flipped him off with a middle finger, clearly showing no signs of restraint. 

Sakusa remains far from them and snorts underneath his breath, completely indifferent,  “Fuckin’ idiots.”

The twins end up at the infirmary right after, Atsumu lets out a heavy sigh as he recalls the feeling of his brothers fist. They’ve never fought this bad since high school and Osamu was never one to be triggered easily.

This just showed how grave the situation was.

A curtain separates them both as they lay on their separate beds, “You’re stupid, ‘tsumu.” Osamu calls out his twin as he lays on the bed of the infirmary, a patch on his forehead and a bandaged hand. Atsumu, on the other hand, has a busted lip and swollen cheek.

“I’m not fucking five, ‘samu and whatever you saw in that picture wasn’t what it looked like.”

“But you still love her very much.” 

Silence ensued between the pair and Osamu breaks it off with a long sigh, “Ya gonna be some scrub that chases after her again or something? Break off with your girlfriend right now who looks and acts better than her-”

“Stop.” Atsumu cuts his brother off, sitting up to open the curtain to face him head on, “so, so what if I still like her? So what if I want to break off with Riku and be with her and try to take that bastards place?”

“Yer outta your mind.”

“It’s my fuckin’ life.”

“It is but I’m not watching you throw yourself away for that woman.” Osamu paused, “Just what the fuck do you see in her? She feels nothing for ya, even when you dated-”

“Now that’s a fucking lie.” Atsumu defended you, eyes glowering right at his twin, “You didn’t see how Y/N would take care of me whenever we were alone. You don’t see how selfless she was most of the time and how she doesn’t expect me to be some character that everyone expects, shit,  you don’t even see how she’d patiently sit down and just listen me babble off about how bad my day was when I didn’t even know she was from a fucking bad family with a bad life back then!”

Atsumu is panting from that long explanation and he’s shaking because why couldn’t they see it? Why couldn’t they see how much you tried back then? How relationships were so out of your comfort zone but you force yourself to try it because he asked you too. He feels sick, he feels sick that they couldn’t see. That they could only see the tip of the iceberg.

“Yet she doesn’t feel the same for you.” Osamu points out,  “Not anymore. So stop clinging onto her with those past memories of yours and move on, ‘tsumu. Fuckin’ suck it up, life isn’t fair.”

“Nope, don’t wanna.”

“ ‘tsumu-”

“I-I’m breaking up with Riku. I want Y/N back in my life, I want her. I-I’ve never wanted anything so badly since volleyball, ‘samu. If I have to wait again, shit, I-I don’t fucking mind.”

Osamu sees the glint of conviction in his eyes and lets out another hefty sigh, god, he feels like he’s aging faster because of his twin, “I know you won’t listen to me.” he settled, he knew that if Atsumu wanted something, he wouldn’t stop until he got it, “Just know that I fucking told you so.”

You’re wary.

After that little stint your mother had pulled, she kept calling you and bothering you. It also didn’t help that you ended up on tabloids because someone had caught wind of that little moment you and Atsumu had. If it weren’t for your kids' over-excitement on Atsumu’s promise, you wouldn’t be here, “...Y/N-san? Are you alright?” Sugawara asks, tilting his head in curiosity as you enter the arena.

Some people seemed to have recognized you and the kids that you had to hold onto them tightly in case anyone did try to approach you.

“I’m good.” 

“Kaasan, kaasan, I saw a super big picture of Hinata-san!” Youta called out, pointing at a rather big banner of the orange-haired blocker.

“I think I saw Kageyama-san buying milk, can I follow him, kaasan?” Yuuto adds, blinking innocently as he looked at one of the stalls.

Sugawara is absolutely in awe by your calmness in this situation, he knows that you’re probably feeling far from alright after all those gossip articles came out. Atsumu, of course, tries to lessen your burden by letting out a public statement that you were his good friend back in college but it didn’t really help since someone tweeted a picture of the both of you back in college with the caption that you were exes.

“Could you do me a favor, Sugawara-san?” you turn to the man, “Do you mind switching seats with me? Stay with the boys in front while I just stay at your seat?”

“Sure but wouldn’t Atsumu be-”

“Please.” You frowned, giving your ticket to him, “I’ll take the kids right after the match.”

The boys looked at you in complete wonderment when you didn’t follow them to the front row. You maintained a good distance as the game started, the players being introduced on the big screen. Your eyes narrow when Atsumu gets out of the dugout and gazes at your kids in confusion then around the crowd as if he was looking for someone.

“Don’t be silly.What feelings would there be but hatred?”

“It’s anything but that, L/N-san.” 

You felt your fists clench as soon as the game started, you wanted to direct your focus to the game but Inunaki’s words kept bothering you and pestering you throughout the whole thing. Why did Atsumu like doing this to himself? Was this some sort of premonition? Were you going to have to tell him?

What if it ended up like your parents?

Would your kids end up like you?

Cold, untrusting, and anxious?

Would you end up like your mother?

A borderline alcoholic, desperate for a man’s love?

Would Atsumu wake up and realize one day that this was all a mistake and call you one too? Blaming you for every single bad thing in his life?

You held your doll tightly on your hands as you held your breath behind the pillar, you had just come home from Daiki’s house as you heard the loud voices of your parents arguing again. For the past years, it seemed to have worsened and you spent more time around your friend’s house rather than this cold and big empty place you called home.

“...are you doing? It's the middle of the day! Stop drinking!” you hear your father bellow.

“What’s it to you? Shouldn’t you be around with that young woman? That whore you proudly call your business associate?” 

You flinch as you hear those harsh words and the sound of a bottle breaking, it seemed like the argument was particularly bad today. You shakily make your way up to your room, wanting to avoid this ordeal and skip dinner but fate wasn’t on your side today. 

Despite your light footsteps, they seem to have noticed your presence.

Your father’s eyes soften just a bit while your mother’s remain cold. As much as possible, you grew up wanting to avoid those scary and expressionless eyes. At the young age of five, you feared your mother and loathed your father at the same time but that didn’t stop the fleeting feeling of wanting them to change. Wanting to feel the warmth and youth that every child craved for.

You suck in a deep breath, “I-I’m home, okaasan, otosan.”

“You’re always out these days, Y/N.” her voice is cold, far from the warmth that a mother should have.

“I-I was out with Daiki.”

“With that boy again?” a frown immediately paints her features, a small tsk under her breath to signal how disappointed she was of you yet again, “Aren’t you supposed to be studying? You said you wanted to skip a grade this year.”

“I-I am.” you replied, “B-but Daiki-”

“All you need to do is study and get good grades, Y/N.” she cuts you off, walking close to you, the smell of alcohol growing stronger, “Is that something too hard to do? Are you being ungrateful now?”

You turn to your father for help but he remains unmoved, was he really going to watch your mother do this to you? You hold onto your doll tightly, trying to control yourself. You shouldn’t cry, especially not in front of them. 

“N-No, okaasan…”

“Then why are you crying, Y/N?”

Your eyes widen as you feel the wet substance flowing down. No, no-

“Answer me.” she repeats, you feel the tears flowing down faster, “Why are you crying, Y/N? Are you feeling ungrateful? Is that how it is-”

“(M/N) That’s enough!” Your father finally says but your mother continues to ignore your father.

“Don’t you think we should tell her that she shouldn’t feel sad?” she expressed, telling your father as if you weren’t standing there, “After all, we didn’t have her aborted, she should be grateful we let her live well with three meals a day and expensive clothes and belongings. Even if she was a mistake.”

You're shaking so hard at the moment, you didn’t like where this was going at all. Your father can’t respond to your mother’s blank tone, did he agree too? Were you, were you really just a mistake? Countless questions flooded your head as she walked close to you, her cold presence looming over you even more so today. With the same blank and expressionless tone, she says, "if you probably hadn't been born, we would've been happier. We'd have better lives, Y/N. So don't go around and cry and think you got it bad, you hear me? Your sadness is nothing compared to ours. It's nothing, Y/N. So stop being ungrateful."

You watch as the game comes to an end. You had zone out for the most part, the fleeting memory of your past and your anxiety bubbling up couldn’t keep you still. You texted Sugawara that you’d meet him and the boys at the front.

You were about to leave your seat when you saw the blonde approach the kids after the game, ruffling their hairs and pinching their cheeks with a huge smile. Why couldn’t you be as open as Atsumu? Why couldn’t you express yourself well? 

You shut your eyes tight and turn to the exit, right, you were a coward. You didn’t face things like this head-on, you ran from them because in all your life, the only thing you knew was fear from people you expected love from.

“Y/N…” 

You turn to find Atsumu standing there, still in his jersey and a towel hung on his shoulder like he had just ran out to chase you. Where was Sugawara and the kids? Why weren’t they here yet? What is he even doing here? You grab his wrist and immediately pull him towards a private area.

“Are you out of your mind? What are you doing? You have a girlfrie-”

“We broke up.” he cuts you off.

“W-what?” 

“We broke up.” He repeats, “I couldn’t stay with her anymore, Y/N.”

You clenched your fists, what was he even thinking? Wouldn’t the rumors worsen if he broke up with her now?

“I-I can’t let you go again.” Atsumu confessed, throwing all his pride out the window again for you because damn it all, you are worth it,  “I can’t keep pretending that I’ve moved on when I’m clearly hung up on you.”

“What are you doing?” You spat, anger slowly creeping in, all the pent up emotion towards him being released, “Why would you do that?”

Atsumu notices the change of emotion, you’re getting angry. It’s a complete contrast to what he was expecting, he’d expect the calm and cool exterior, even expected you to cooly reject him like the past but this, this was new, “Why can’t I?”

“Are you out of your mind?” You exclaimed, “I left you! I have kids from another man-”

“So?” He asks, walking closer to you. The familiar smell of perfume and sweat invaded your senses, something you were accustomed to when you were dating him back then. He traps you between the wall and him. You can see the busted lip, what happened to him? Did he got into a fight? You feel like your mind was turning blank by the sudden events. You want to say something, anything but he’s rendering you speechless again, “What if I tell you I don’t care? What if I tell you that I still feel the same even after all this time?”

“Y-You're insane...I-I’m in love with someone else-” you tried to lie but you remember this is Miya Atsumu, he doesn’t give two shits and was willing to work as hard as he could to get what he wanted.

“Y/N, your kids told me that the bastard left. Why didn’t you tell me?” he cuts you off, this time, his voice seemed disappointed and angry yet you didn't know if it was towards you.

“W-what would you have done then?”

“If you’d come back to me then,” he paused, voice turning soft, “I would’ve helped you. I would’ve been there to stand in as a father if you even needed one.”

You’re trembling at his confession, were those words really from the heart? 

“Y/N, I don’t know what happened between you and that guy.” he laughs, he didn’t expect it to be like this, that even after six years he’d still be pinning over the same woman who repeatedly broke his heart, “I don’t know what happened between you and your fucked-up family. All I do know is that I’m still in love with you and I’m willing to wait here until you’re ready. I won’t ever leave, Y/N. I-I don’t think I ever will.”

“You’re crazy.” You shakily point out, you’re in a fit of rage. You’re angry at him, you’re angry that he still lowers himself to you when he could do so much better, you’re angry that he still feels the same after all the shit you put him through, most of all, you’re angry at yourself because you couldn’t own up and tell him about everything.

Atsumu slowly holds up his hands, wanting to cup your cheeks but it is immediately swatted away. He notices that you’re trembling now, your facade, slowly crumbling.

“What made you think that I’d come back to you?” Your voice was trying to maintain it’s cold and emptiness tone yet your eyes showed the complete opposite, “Please be selfish for once, Miya-san. Just because you give your all to me, does not mean I’ll return it. I hope I really don’t see you again.”

taglist [taglists are sadly closed now, thanks guys <3]

@fortheloveofiwaizumi ;  @svtbitch  ; @kiyoomile ; @lovedanii ; @juno-multifandom ; @gyubit17 ; @saeranoppa ; @nixxona ; @kyomihann @shorttstackk ; @intoomuchfandoms ; @yammmers ; @mx-minxx @itsmattsunshinehere ; @missingmystogan ; @volleybloop ; @imcravingyou ; @yams-wants-that-booty ; @liathachcapricious ; @pinknugget @seikamuzu ; @marigoldthoughts ; @sillykittt ; @baejinoffcl ; @alluring-akaashi ; @bnhasstuff  ; @intheawks ; @bokuakadaily ; @agaassi ; @yams046  ; @dope-squish ; @chrisrue15 ; @vermillionwaves ; @demursv1ogs ; @just-snog-already ; @angmarwitch ; @angmarwitch ; @simpingonothers ; @woo-youngs ; @cowward​ ; @chaelysian ; @sempiternal-amour ; @jungshookmeup ; @jovialnoise ; @karlitabi-rrito ; @iwaizluv ; @sugarandsoft​ ; @tspice283​ ; @ohshirabu​

@misosamu  @Etherynaw  @ryaaaax @differentballooncollection @keniloveshaikyuu @allysasteaparty   @syzygymai [hi, i can’t seem to tag u guys, i think you need to open your tags uwu]

[scatterpatter]

Some long-overdue rants about Dp/Dr

Man this post was years in the making. Most dpdr posts I make tend to be pretty lighthearted in nature mostly to cope and shit but like. It’s a disorder at the end of the day and boy howdy do I have some frustrations after coming out of one of my longest/worst spells I’ve had in a long time

cw for mental illness, dissociation, negativity(largely directed at the self), ptsd, etc etc etc, seriously you aint missing out by scrolling past I just want this out of my head and somewhere tangible

MAN FUCK DP/DR. ALL MY HOMIES HATE DP/DR.

I am. So fuckin sick of it. I am so god damn sick that my main response to trauma and stressors is to literally step outside of my own goddamn body and/or step into a distorted reality because my brain is that desperate to get out of this one, if only a short time

I’m so sick of how fucking invisible it is, and how invisible it makes me feel. I know it’s a good thing that I can act so much like myself that people don’t suspect a thing(or at worst, think I’m just tired or a lil sick), but also I just want to feel fucking sseeeeeeeen. It frustrates me to such a goddamn degree that sometimes I wish my abusers left physical scars, at least then someone, anyone, could see evidence of what i went through time after fucking time. And yesssss before anyone fuckin says it I know its not healthy to have wished for physical trauma on top of everything else but when a goddamn cycle of emotional abuse gets ingrained in you time after time after fuuuucking time, you kinda start to wish someone could see your struggle as more than just “Oh he’s ~sensitive~ haha what a baby.” And yessssss the whole point of it is so that I can socially blend in even when my mind has totally checked out, the point of it is to be invisible, but that doesnt make it any less frustrating

I’m so sick of having to rely on my dissociative spells as much as I do. I gave some of the different states I find myself in names, faces, hell even slight personality differences because Im just that desperate to be comforted even if it has to come from myself, to make the spells less scary, to put names and faces to what Im going through. I want to be grateful for them, after all in a sense I sort of made them and they’re only trying to protect me but I don’t want to need them. I don’t want to put someone who only vaguely resembles me into my body and in control over my words and actions, but I don’t exactly have a say in the manner and it’s comforting and frustrating all at once

I’m sick of the memory fog. I’m sick of having a memory of something mere hours ago but it feeling like weeks ago. My memories while dissociating make me feel like I was drunk and on the edge of blackout drunk- and people wonder why I avoid drinking most of the time. Time moves distortedly and I’m just tired of having to lay on the floor for what feels like 5 minutes only for 2 hours to pass. I’m tired of crying myself to sleep in the middle of an absolute breakdown, only to wake up the next morning an entirely different person, only vague recollections of that breakdown surfacing as if it were just a dream

I’m so so so sick of it getting harder and harder to tell the difference between my dreams, my intrusive thoughts, and reality

I’m fuckin sick of having to put a wall up before most social interactions. Having to either go into an interaction already-dissociating or having that dissociative spell on standby ready to go the second things go wrong because things always go wrong. Either I say something- even if its personal- and am just- wrong. In one way or another what Im doing is wrong and needs to be corrected. It’s either that, or it’s me saying something stupid and getting laughed at/made fun of because ~Haha Scatter always says something stupid and funny~, or it’s me saying something that gets taken in such the opposite manner in which I meant to say something that I’m left there in that empty shell of my projection of self just wondering how I’m being so misinterpreted- do I really come across as that vicious and vile as a person? Everyone always agrees so it must be true but what is it that I do thats so different from everyone else that I’m always seen as this bad??? It’s. Always. Something. I can’t remember the last social interaction I’ve had where at least one person doesn’t call me out for doing something wrong. And it’s. So. Tiring. To be in a position where no matter what I do it’s always wrong in one way or another but I have no choice but to put Damien behind the wheel and just take it because who am I to say that they’re wrong? I cant remember the last time any of my friends have seen the real me, so who am I to say that isnt who I am. That’s not even me. It’s just a projection of myself that acts in a way I think people will like but in one way or another I always get it wrong and it’s always so quick and so sudden to be told how wrong I always am.

I’m sick of Roy being right. I’m so sick of his logic that, the less we talk to people, the less they make fun of us. And then I go into an interaction where speaking or even typing is so physically hard. Where I feel so incredibly muted. But at the end of the day I come out of that interaction and all I can think of was how right Roy was. It doesn’t stop entirely, but it does lessen the amount of times people call me out or make fun of me and it only incentivizes him to take that approach more and more often. It’s confirmation bias and I haaaate that. I’m so sick that I have a game I call “How long can I not engage with someone telling me how awful I am before they finally drop it” and not only is it a game I have to play more often than I like to admit but it’s a game that works.

I’m sick of Damien stepping in to take the emotional blow. But of course he would, why wouldn’t he??? It’s so, so much easier to take everything thrown at you when it’s not you anymore. They’re not making fun of me anymore, they’re making fun of someone who’s not here. Someone who’s not me. I know my new years resolution was to feel like a real person again but its so, so hard to actively work towards that goal when it’s so, so, so much easier to not be a person

I’m sick of Hyde stepping in to try and be me to the best of his ability but at the end of the day, he’s acting like nothing’s wrong just as much as I am. It’s frustrating that when he speaks, it’s often not even fully in my dialogue, there’s usually some vocal quirk or something in there and it scares me because I don’t want people to notice. It’s like cracks in ice, cracks in my facade, and it risks shattering if someone draws too much attention to it. But he can’t be a perfect replica of me, and I can’t fault him for that. How is anyone supposed to do a perfect impression of someone who’s happy, who’s always there to be that emotional support, who’s the strong one, if the real one is busing having a panic attack or just shutting down entirely???

I’m just tired of looking in the mirror and seeing a face I should recognize but I don’t

I’m just so. Fucking. Tired.

I’m not even tired of having dp/dr honestly. I’m just tired at how much im required to use it. My abusers are long gone, I havent seen any of them in years, they’re not here to hurt me anymore, I shouldnt need these coping mechanisms anymore, but I just. Keep finding myself in situation after situation where the cycle has to continue and I just keep needing my dissociative spells. Even if they’re not here anymore, constant situations occur that reinforces everything they did to me and it just. It just frustrates me that something so invisible is what keeps me alive, and it’s endlessly tiring.

And it’s not like I’m not trying! It’s not like I’m not trying to be a better person, and trying to actually love myself and see the value in myself after so many years of being told time and time again the opposite, but it’s just an uphill battle and it’s hard and it’s tiring. And I want to believe when someone tells me I’m loved by my loved ones, but like... honestly it’s just. Hard to believe that when not only is every interaction negative towards me in one way or another, but the person they’ve come to recognize as “me” isn’t even me. And if that ghost of me is as horrible as I’m always told they are, imagine what they’d do if they saw the actual me.

I just wanna throw up tbh

Can you tell this post went from angry to just. Tired??? Idk man if you’ve made it this far then thanks for sticking around. I just. Had a spell that lasted nearly the entire holiday weekend and it ended in an absolute breakdown that I barely even remember, which i guess is for the better. Im just tired of dp/dr being as needed as it is for me. Idk. Bottom text.

[goodomens-goodomenseverywhere]

Loki ep 6 thoughts

-FEAR

-recap reminds me I hate ravonna

-I want more mobius/sylvie

-THE SONG WAHHH

-The QUOTES IN THE INTRO?? WAHHH?,

-OH,?? REAL PEOPLE VOICES??

-Greta thin burg I love u

-upside down heart in rock

-THE SUSOICIOUS LACK OF THEME MUSIC WITH THE LOKI LOGO

-this music slaps everyone say thank u Natalie holt

-they look so good….ugh

-sylvies hair…wah

-THE LITTLE CALLBACK TO LAMENTIS

-she’s asking him to tell her to stop :’)

-best buds I love dem

-she’s pulling the ‘I’m 8 minutes older than u!!’ Argument that every twin pulls

-she needs a moment now but she didn’t hesitate back in ep 4. Hmm

-Tom looks fuckin great here let’s not lie

-statues?? Omg who

-ominous door slam

-I FUCKING JUMPED

-OMINOUS ‘HEY YALL???’

-THAT WAS HORRIFYING

-what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

-I need a second

-I’m so sorry that gives me the ‘HEY SISTERS’ jumpscare energy I’m laughing but terrified

-kang

-it’s fuckin kang aint it

-oh he scared

-he’s scared

-of the lokis

-wants to bargain with them hmm

-bitchboy

-this never ends well

-BRO HES PAST THIS STUPID FUCKIN BATTLE

-this is a trick loki PLS DONT FALL FOR IT

-full offense but ‘we can reinsert you so you won’t disrupt the timeline’ and ‘you can kill thanos and have the infinity gauntlet’ cannot POSSIBLY coincide

-her eyes are creepy

-don’t let this overrule your GOAL SYLVIE

-god one of you have braincells pls

-oh she thinks they’re a thing too huh

-Disney don’t do it I stg

-THANK u

-sylvie looks so annoyed girl me too

-even my cat’s confused

-I don’t wanna have any sympathy for ravonna don’t show me those stupid fuckin rings

-LMAO THE CLOCK IS PLAYING RAVONNA TOO

-why is this so funny

-knife buds

-I shouldn’t love him but I kinda do

-okay but they’re so funny just holding their knives to him

-I’m so sorry sylvie is so cute

-her little hair flips

-it’s a Loki thing

-he’s funny but I’m fairly certain I’m gonna hate him

-at least call her by her preferred name bitch

-MOBIUS MY KINGGGGG

-WHAT A BAD BITCH I FUCKIN LOVE YOU

-“one mans void is another man’s….piece of cake”

-SHES SO ANNOYEDFKSIFKS

-youre not sorry bitch

-LMAO B-15 YOU BAD FUCKING BITCH

-OMG OMG OMG PRINCIPAL NOT-RAVONNA IS SO HOT

-B-15 like I’ll expose the fuck outta your ass

-Loki I love you but this is obviously bigger than you think

-man’s a script writer omg

-ugh not him being a sylkie shipper

-man I hate u

-NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN IM TIRED

-right when they thought they could start doing their own thing and making their own decisions he’s like SIKE!!!

-I sad

-this bitch is exactly why I’m like meh on Christian god

-must be boring

-man I don’t want him to turn them against each other

-IS THIS A RELIGIOUS ALLEGORY

-ravonna is. A little unhinged

-‘an illusion conjured by the the weak to inspire fear. A desperate bid from control’

-I’m sorry but she sounds like cliche christians

-this is coming from a cradle Catholic

-why is this the mokius/Loki fight from ep 4 all over again

-she literally says crisis of faith

-mobius: hey I think this entire institution has manipulated us and I'm gonna try and figure out what's at the bottom of it

ravonna: lies to him, has him killed

ravonna: wow i cant believe he would betray me like that

-no bc its giving Aaron burr 'now I'm the villain in your history'

-its giving catra and adora in s1 when adora's like 'they're awful' and catras like 'yeah we been knew. How dare u not condone that'

-except I don't ship Mobius and ravonna

-I had to pause to write this rant

-she threatens to prune him again as if he wouldn't just go back to the void

-mobius: we can't take away ppl's free will

Ravonna: i disagree

mobius: where are u going

ravonna: in search of free will

-PICK A SIDE

-IM TIRED

-mobius being left ONCE AGAIN

-poor bitch

-everyone has evil clones just let shit happen

-why is it literally an entire religious allegory

-HW FOUND BABY ALIOTH

-im so confused

-what does the illusion of the time keepers do at all

-he fills the same spot as them either way

-is it anonymity?

-why doesn't he just kill all the bad variants of himself

-he sounds like a liar I don't trust him

-hes just an asshole

-why doesn't he offer ppl the option to work for the tva

-if he thinks they'll still work under Sylvie and Loki then he must think they'd help

-why does he look scared

-idk why but I'm real tired of all this

-time shit's confusing

-dude i just want lokius interaction

-NOOO NOT A SYLKIE FIGHT

-no I’m so ficking emo

-I want them to be besties

-“because you can’t trust. And I can’t be trusted”

-bro I’m sad

-I’m so sad ab Loki

-he’s trying so hard not to hurt her pls

-WAHHHHH

-I am going to SOB

-HE THREW HIS SWORD DOWN IM GOING TO CRY

-he’s GROWN SO MUCH

-LOUD CRYING

-that’s it I’m fucking logging out

-Disney I hate you

-I’m so fucking pissed

-I’m so tempted not to finish this episode I’m mad

-anger fills me from top to bottom

-NOT THIS AGAIN

-I am taking a moment

-are you SERIOUS

-man

-my exact words when she says ‘I’m not you’ were “AH fuck. GODdammit” but I need you to take the liberty of imagining the exhaustion in my voice

-bro I’m just so mad

-I’m like apathetic to the rest of the plot rn sorry

-I couldn’t care less ab this

-man I am so disappointed

-I’m sorry I just am

-does it really fuckin have to go like that

-god at least let me have one last Lokius moment

-Tom Hiddleston’s deliverance of that rant was so fucking good

-like. You can hear how truly fucked up he is about all this. We’ve never seen Loki like this

-I’m rly emo about it

-I’m actually going to kill marvel

-I am. Divorcing this show

-are you fucking kidding me

-no because fuck you

-FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

-I am SO ANGRY

-I am going to be pissed forever

-you fucking make MOBIUS FORGET HIM?? JUST LIKE THAT???

-GODDAMIR

-SO IS THIS MOTHERFUCKER KANG THE CONQUERER??

-I’m so tired

-I just want to take a long fucking nap

-I’m gonna spend the next few years pretending this episode doesn’t exist

-fuck everything man. I’m fucking mad I haven’t been this mad since I watched infinity war in theaters.

-with that I will be. Dying somewhere

[chikkou]

What are your favourite (And least favourite) Lisa songs?

VERY fucking big question... im gonna have to divvy it up by game cause otherwise i wont be able to break it down LMAO

lisa the first:

favorites:

bile (literally THE lisa song. i always think of it)

fuck it (my absolute definition of what giving up feels like)

remember (the dread and anticipation here... phenomenal)

hate (this song is just foul. absolute blood-red color)

love (i cant even describe the emotions this song produces)

creepy sax (ripped almost straight from mother 3 and i fuckin LOVE it)

least favorites: literally none. i love them all. if i had to pick a song gun to my head it would be manipulate, but thats with me desperately grasping at straws LMAO

lisa the painful:

favorites:

horse sh!t (100% my favorite. its just awful and i love it)

summer love (literally cannot imagine the game without this song)

super working stiff (i cannot explain myself. i am sorry)

shardys shanty (my absolute favorite "normal" song on the ost. the horns really kill me)

war season (i used to not like this one but man it fucking gets you)

i am satan (this song fucking LAUGHS at you?? genius)

air raid (i just love that it sounds exactly like what it is LMAO)

bloodmoon rising (this song is just fucking phenomenal. if i could remove everything abt the blood tribe but keep this song i would)

forever turbo heat dance (i wrestled with whether to put this one or work harder... but i just think this one is too legendary)

childs call (i love every variant of this, but childs call is my favorite... the simplicity really gets to you man)

least favorites:

working stiff (NOT super working stiff. i just dont like this version)

the majority of the wrestling intros would go here for me, but ill give particular attention to cinder sluggan. thats all i can dredge up. i just really hate it LMAO

lisa the joyful:

favorites:

666 kill chop deluxe (yes really. no i will not apologize)

bbb (i love how sorrowful this one makes u feel, both for the tragedy thats already happened and the one thats about to happen)

brokentooth march (this song is full of power & defiance.. LOVE her)

mouth wide open (this song wins out cause of that FLUTE)

boogie from beyond (this is definitely what a club song sounds like in the afterlife)

hes my dad (bro this shit had me sobbing my fucking eyes out)

creep on her (this song is that perfect mix of terrifying and danceable that austin does best)

voices hum (voices is also fantastic but i think this one is more evocative for me)

homeland hussle (the first time i heard this i ended up listening to it like 15 times on loop. cant even pretend)

roll the dice (fuck this song makes me feel some type of way)

least favorites:

genuinely, none of them. i think the joyfuls soundtrack has such solid crafting that even the songs i didnt add here are still FANTASTIC for what they do and the purpose they were meant for. i cant say that any of the songs didnt speak to me or didnt sound right. if i have to try rly hard to pick one i guess itd be wrongside, but again i genuinely like that song so thatd be a lie LMAO

of all the games, my absolute favorite song from each is probably fuck it (the first), horse sh!t (the painful), and 666 kill chop (the joyful)