#im going to delete this app again but im going to look at my old posts and cringe before i do that

[pepprs]

i will shut up abt this i promise but like. the concept of being in a stable safe mutually loving whatever relationship is INSANE . like how can you ever feel bad about yourself or wounded or whatever again. it’s like a superpower or somethi ng. <- doesn’t know what she’s taking abt bc she’s never experienced it or the absence of it after having it merely the negative space of it and is filling in the gaps w logic or something. but it’s INSANE to me. like of course i feel like shit about myself i am catcrumb unloved.jpg!

[festynoodle]

talking into the void but this blog didn't age well at all, in the best way though. i want to give younger me a hug so badly, it got so much better. love x

[kraviolis]

as i get older and continue to exist online i cant help but question why so many adults got into arguments with me over fandom bullshit when i was a teenager, and yet i also completely understand why they did.

[snorfbin]

.

[lqvesoph]

There‘s no place I‘d rather be - LN4

gif by @princemick

lando norris x sainz!reader

summary: after a tricky qualifying session, you go to comfort your secret boyfriend

a/n: inspired by today’s quali in qatar

taglist | masterlist

Your heart broke when you heard Lando‘s radio message through your red headphones.

"It will get deleted", your brother spoke next to you and you looked up. "He was off at Turn 14", Carlos sighed and your heart sack further.

Lando will be so disappointed, was the only thing on your mind.

"I‘ll be back soon", you mumbled, put the headphones down and hurried out of the Ferrari garage. The paddock was quite full, especially now after qualifying but you managed to make your way to the Mclaren hospitality, slipping in before anyone could notice.

You‘ve never been inside here so you could only assume where the drivers rooms were but it did look kinda similar to Ferrari‘s hospitality.

"Y/n? What are you doing here?", a voice asked behind you, making you whip around. Oscar stood in the hallway, his race suit hanging low on his hips, with his bottle in one hand.

"Uhm- could you please show me where… Lando‘s room is?", you asked, unsure of how the 22 year old was gonna react.

A smirk found its way on Oscar‘s face. "Lando said he’s with someone from the paddock, I just never imagined it‘d be you", he grinned and shook his head.

Your eyes fell to the floor. Lando and you had agreed to hide your fairly new relationship for a while because both of you knew, that your brother would be very hard to convince.

"Follow me", Oscar smiled and waved you to him. He led you up a flight of stairs before making a left turn that led into a white painted hallway.

"This one is Lando‘s", he said and pointed at the right door. "Thank you so much, Oscar!", you gratefully spoke. Before you pushed the handle down you turned around again.

"Could you maybe not… tell anyone I was here and that Lando and me-", you asked but was interrupted by Oscar. "Don‘t worry, my lips are sealed. And I don’t really feel like getting caught up in this when your brother finds out", he chuckled.

"Thank you", you smiled and quietly pushed down the handle to open the door.

Lando sat on the couch, his head in one hand while looking at his phone.

"Baby?", you spoke, making his head shoot up. "What are you- How did you-", he stammered. You quickly made your way over to him, sitting down next to Lando and taking his phone out of his hands. With one glance you saw the layout of Twitter, so you exited the app and turned the phone off.

"We don’t look at that", you reminded him before pulling your boy into a tight hug. Lando’s head fell to your chest and his eyes fluttered closed. He took a deep breath, inhaling your scent.

"I heard your radio and wanted to see you", you started answering his earlier questions. "I‘ve never been in here before so I had no idea where to go but Oscar found me and led me here."

Lando huffed. "Guess the secret‘s out", he muttered. "Come on, you told him everything apart from the fact it’s me", you chuckled and squeezed his shoulder teasingly. A small smile formed on Lando’s lips, making your heart skip a beat.

"Okay, guilty", he whispered. "He won’t say anything", you told him. "However I don’t know if Carlos caught on. We were watching Q3 together and I basically hurried out after he told me they‘ll delete your lap", you recalled recent events.

"He’s not smart enough to connect that", Lando fired back at his friend, which made you chuckle.

"Thank you for being here", he got serious again. "Means a lot!"

You smiled and pressed a kiss to his messy and sweaty curls. "Trust me, there’s no place I‘d rather be!"

Taglist

@im-an-overthinker @buendiabebeta @hungryhungariann @ohthemisssery @kenopsiababe @sawendel @enjoymyloves @ricsaigaslec @ravenqueen27 @temqr1 @leclerc16s @theamazingsimplethings-blog @coldmuffinbanditshoe @hotchnisscm97 @andtheworldiscrashingdownonme @moneymasnn @justme2042 @amulhermaisfelizdomundo @pleasantducktimetravel @anthonykatebridgerton @lisannehus @hannahholland1811 @lighttsoutlewis @mydutchproblem @dan3avocado @alwaysclassyeagle @cocomiracle @allthisfortommy @soleilgrec @cheeryara-blog @person2345-blog @aquamariene-me @judespoision @sbgal @teti-menchon0604

F1 Taglist

@mehrmonga @f1lover55

[bunnyreaper]

𝖈𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖆𝖗𝖘 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖈𝖆𝖌𝖊𝖘 𝔞 𝔰𝔬𝔞𝔭 𝔪𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔞𝔳𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔵 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯 𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝖕𝖙 1 — 𝖕𝖙 2 𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊 wc - 5.7k warnings - 18+/nsfw, dom sub dynamic, eventual romance/smut, medium burn? notes - first part of my owner!soap x pet!reader, woohoo! i already regret writing something centered around texting and calling lmao, crying!! the formatting is killing me!! anyway, also on ao3! and if you wanna send a request, pls do! ♥

Lonely girl looking for owner. 

Posting on this subreddit again was probably a mistake—but a deep-down part of you clings to the hope that this time will be the time you find someone, the time you get to go home to him. 

At least this time, you'll be better at spotting the signs right off the bat—if only you can take off the rose-tinted glasses long enough to take note.

Your inbox is flooded with the usual kinds of messages—unsolicited pictures, low-effort one-sentence wonders, and so-called doms jumping straight to the part where they call you a nasty whore with no actual consideration for the person you are. 

You're just about to give up, delete the post, and ignore all chat requests when a message arrives in your inbox. 

From: squeakycleanscot 

Subject: Lonely guy looking for girl

Hi,

Saw your post and knew I had to message. You sound like everything I'm looking for and more.

I'm a little younger than the age you put on your post, but I think I fit your other requirements. I'm 27, Scottish (yes, with the accent), and in the army, I hope that's a turn-on rather than a turn-off.

When I'm not deployed, I like cosy nights in, preferably with my love by my side. Don't mind a night at the pub either, especially if there's a Celtic match on, not that anywhere near here shows them. 

I'm looking for something longer term like you mentioned (would love to collar my girl one day, which is probably ironic considering I'm a wee bit scared of dogs.)

Happy to send a picture if you'd like :) 

Hope to hear from you soon, 

Johnny.

Johnny. 

You reread the message, turning his words over in your mind. 

Something about his message has your attention—it at least suggests he has a brain in his head and a heart capable of empathy, and that maybe he's serious. 

You begin typing your reply instantly, your fingers moving so fast you have to type and retype so many parts to rid the message of all of the overexcited mistakes.

hi johnny, 

scottish?! is it bad im already imagining how your dirty talk will sound? 

it's funny, i always wanted to join the army growing up, but it never worked out. maybe it's for the best as now i'm not immune to enjoying a hot man in uniform... which I'm assuming you are ;) 

cosy nights in are my favourite too! I'm a bit of a homebody and love being snuggled up more than anything. i have to let you know in advance that you have some stiff competition in the form of my giant teddy bear, barnaby. 

i'm looking for something longer term too, or at least not a one night kind of thing—a collar one day would be the dream &lt;;3 

if you send a picture, ill send one back, nothing sexy just yet though, if that's okay? 

have you met up with someone off here before? just curious about your experiences! 

y/n

As soon as the message is sent, the overthinking kicks in—was that too much? Is he going to think you're weird? 

You shuffle in bed, turning over between the sheets and trying to flick through other apps as you wait for a reply—otherwise, you'd just be staring at the notifications bar waiting for that silly little robot face to pop up. 

Johnny doesn't leave you waiting long, only a few minutes passing from your last message.

Maybe you'll find out sooner rather than later just how my dirty talk sounds ;) 

I tried to sneak in before I was old enough, but they caught on. Served since I was 18 though, you'll have a lot of stories ready from me if you're ever willing to listen. Not sure if the uniform is anything like you're thinking though, in my unit it's mostly just t-shirts, tac vests and trousers. 

I'll prepare my best snuggling arms for if we ever meet. You should inform Barnaby now about his replacement, mind. 

Can't not send a sexy photo though, sorry lass, all my pictures are. I'm sure you understand, lol

Haven't met anyone, had a few conversations but nothing worth pursuing, and had kind of given up until I saw your post. 

His message is the perfect mix of sexy, sweet, and sincere—and if that is the essence of the man, you know he's everything you're looking for. 

You try not to think too hard about a hot Scottish accent calling you all your favourite names or telling you exactly what to do, or even those stories he has to tell, as the idea is all too exciting. 

Reading his message, you instinctively reach out to pat Barnaby when you see he may end up replaced—hopefully the poor bear will understand when he has to vacate the bed for this sexy soldier man. 

looking forward to it. can I start putting in requests now for bedtime stories too?

i still wanna see, maybe in your sexy-not-sexy pic? 

barnaby will be devastated by the news, and you may have to give him hugs too (but not for too long, or i'll get lonely!!!)

same here, about things not going anywhere... or people turning out to be a bit scary, so you're not allowed to let me down, okay? 

Maybe the last part of the message was too much, but your heart is already soaring with unbridled hope—along with that hope comes doubt too. 

Each second waiting for a reply drags, and you take to re-reading his messages and clicking on his profile to investigate. 

It's largely empty of posts, but there are tons of comments across different communities—including his aforementioned football team, r/Scotland, and eyebleach. 

Clearly, he's a softie at heart. 

When his next message comes through, it's an Imgur link with a short message. 

Here we go, a few months old though now. Don't have anything more recent from work :) 

You take a moment or two to steady yourself before you tap the link. While you definitely feel like you and Johnny have already started to click, if he's not your type then it probably won't go anywhere... 

It's a situation you've been in before—great conversation, similar interests but no physical attraction, and back then you didn't have the heart to break it off straight away.

You tap the link and are greeted by a full-body shot of a tall, well-built man in tactical clothes. His hair is a neatly trimmed mohawk, and while his face isn't crystal clear, he's clearly fucking handsome. His biceps bulge from the gray tee stretched over his torso, his large hands are covered with gloves and grasping a gun.

Your eyes trail to his long legs, thick thighs encased in camo and strapped with various holsters. All in all, the picture is perfect. You find yourself zooming in desperately to get a better look at his face, the handsome jaw lined with stubble that you can already imagine between your legs. The whole image and every new detail has you squirming in your bed, and cheekily wishing to save the image to your phone.

holyfwucj 

holy fuck 

Like what you see? 

i need a hug from you urgently. 

now i feel shy... 

It had crossed your mind ever so slightly that Johnny may be out of your league, or that he simply may not be attracted to someone like you, which would be a complete shame. Now you've set eyes on him, you want him even more—want to kneel at those feet and stare up at his hulking figure while he tugs on a leash around your neck. 

Hopefully, just like you, he'll be smitten from the first glance. 

Scrolling through your camera roll, you decide you don't exactly love any recent photos of yourself. The ones at your last work event have you looking far too corporate, and the only image from your last night out was taking in a bathroom mirror in the local Wetherspoons—neither of which is ideal. 

You crawl out from the warmth of your sheets, kneeling on the end of the bed and posing as you point your camera in the mirror that sits across the room and captures you perfectly. Before you start snapping, you adjust your top to make sure too much isn't on display, even though it's strappy and cropped, and definitely a little bit more on the tantalising side as far as your pyjamas go. 

Hopefully, Johnny likes the pose and the outfit... and you. You can see your smiling face just to the side of your phone as you press to capture the picture—and when you return to your inbox to send the picture link, a message is waiting for you. 

I already know you're gorgeous. Don't leave me hanging, bonnie. 

okay. this is me now, all ready for bed!! 

Holy fuck yourself.

And I'm assuming that's Barnaby in the background. 

If he notices the pose, he doesn't comment on it, instead delighting your heart by commenting on Barnaby instead.

sure is! he's ready for snuggles and sleep. 

Can you do me a favour? 

That message makes your heart skip because usually when something like that is asked, it's followed with a request for nudes or something sexual—and while that is a large part of something like this, you crave the connection first, crave someone actually sticking around and getting to know you. 

depends on what it is!

Tell Barnaby to keep looking after you until I get there, yeah? 

does that mean you're coming for me?

One day, if we're both lucky.

seems promising so far, Johnny. 

Get some sleep, yeah? Maybe tomorrow night I'll give you a bell. 

The idea of this conversation ending is heart-wrenching, but at least sleep will bring you closer to that possible phone call. Hearing his voice, now that will be even more incredible. 

how do you expect me to sleep after telling me that? so mean! 

Patience, bonnie. Be good for me? 

You clench, your thighs squeezing together as arousal rushes through you. It's like he knows exactly how far to go, what buttons to press, what you're looking for.

It's the right kind of commanding, toeing the line perfectly between flirtatious and in charge. A lot of guys you've talked to have rushed it made commands too early, and sent you running. Johnny's words, be good for me? You can't help but want to behave. 

okay, but I see how this is going to be :( 

Bet you look so fucking good with a pout ;) 

now you're just being a cruel tease, Johnny... 

Sorry, I'll stop. Sleep, yeah, for me?

cuddling up to barnaby now. 

You decide to attach another picture, your eyes screwed shut and cheeks squished as you wrap yourself around the bear and cuddle up under the sheets. 

talk tomorrow?

Of course, bonnie, sweet dreams &lt;;3 

You lock your phone, your eyes feeling relieved as they adjust to the darkness. 

For a brief moment, you just clutch your phone to your chest and recall the picture Johnny had sent, how much you'd love to be wrapped up in his arms tonight. 

He's the only thing on your mind as you drift off to sleep.

-//-

Your dreams are tumultuous, starting off with a nightmare of being chased and chased until your legs give out, only for you to find salvation and safety in a stranger's arms—one who seemed vaguely familiar. 

The first thing you do when you wake is roll over to check your phone, elation overtaking you when you see a notification from Johnny already waiting there—already he's blessing you with a good morning message.

Good morning, sweet girl.

Attached under the picture is another image link, and clicking on it brings up an absolutely gorgeous picture of Johnny, lazing in bed. There's just enough light in the room for you to see the brightness of his eyes that you couldn't see before—his mohawk is mussed, and his smile is easy, drawing you in. 

He's even more handsome in this up close photo, you can only imagine what he looks like in person, right before you. 

morning Johnny <3 how did you sleep? 

Like a baby. Yourself? 

not the best, but I swear you were in my dream. 

Sorry to hear that, but oh already? What did I do? 

I mean, it was a bulky guy with a mohawk but he didn't have your name, I think it was meant to be you though. 

You recall the safety you felt in the arms of the strange figure, it was serene, and everything you hope to feel when you find the one—hopefully that's Johnny.

My dreams were shite, you didn't show up. 

i'll try harder to be there tonight!! 

Promise? 

promise. 

God, he's so fucking sweet. It's hard to imagine he's into all the things you mentioned in your initial post, at least right now. But you're all too familiar with how appearances can be deceiving—you wonder what else your sweet Scot is into. 

You peel back the covers and head out into the kitchen, flicking the kettle on mindlessly as you keep your eyes fixated on the screen—not wanting to be even a minute late to answering Johnny's texts, even though it seems there's a natural lull in the conversation. 

You return your focus to making your tea, and your thoughts don't drift from Johnny for even a moment, as you ponder ways to keep the conversation going. Admittedly, you have a million and one questions you want, but you don't want to come across too... eager? clingy? Like some serial killer fiending for information? 

It's crazy the way your heart yearns for him so soon—and it's crazy the way that you wish he feels the same as you do. You wonder how his day is going, and if he's staring at your phone waiting for your message.

With tea brewed, you set it on the coffee table and flop onto the plush couch, rushing to open the app when a new notification pops up.

What's your plan for the day? 

lazy day, binge-watching... texting you? wbu? 

I have to work for a bit, but I'll message you when I can. 

On a weekend? That's horrible, but I imagine they run a tight ship over there. 

You rush to follow up your message with something else. 

will you still be able to call tonight? 

Aye, give me your number, I'll save it! 

You send off your number and don't hear anything from Johnny for a good few hours. You pass the time watching one of your favourite shows, and trying to resist the urge to go scroll down Johnny's profile once more.  

The next time a message pops up, it's well past lunch.

Cute profile pic on whatsapp.

Johnny has clearly added your number to his contacts and spied your picture on the app. You blush thinking of him seeing you in that costume—especially after he knows what you're into.

it was Halloween, I swear!! 

You make an adorable little kitten, lass.

imagination running wild now? ;) 

Aye, but I'm a gent. 

hopefully not always...

Oh, you'll see. Talk to you tonight, kitty. 

talk to you then &lt;;3 

Now you're just itching, waiting for the hours to crawl by for Johnny's workday to end, so you can talk to him again, so you can finally hear his voice. 

What will it sound like saying your name? Whispering sweet nothings in your ears? 

The hours pass slowly until a different notification lights up your phone as you cuddle into your sheets.

Hey, it's Johnny! Just got home. 

You scramble to click on the pop-up, spying his own profile picture in the corner—tapping on it to view it closer. 

It's the Johnny you recognise, smiling wide with his arm slung around another man. He looks so ridiculously happy, probably due to the pint in his other hand. The more you look at him, the more you can't believe you're talking to this man, that he wants to talk to you. 

You quickly add him to your contacts, putting a heart next to his name, before you return to the chat and begin to type.

i'm not the only one with a cute pfp!! 

Three sheets to the wind in that picture, actually.

i can tell &lt;3

Ready to call? 

whenever you're ready!

The image of him floods your screen, the screen pulsing as it waits for you to accept. Your fingers tremble as you press the button, and you fall silent as you press the phone to your ear, nerves gripping at your throat. 

"Hi, bonnie." His voice drifts from the phone speaker, sweet like honey and warm like sunshine, with that gorgeous accent too. 

"Hi." You squeak out, silently cursing at yourself for being so nervous and seemingly unable to speak. 

A melodic laugh follows your words, amused but not cruel or mocking. "Are you nervous?" His voice is soothing, his concern and sweet nature evident. 

You cradle your burning cheek, feeling the way your blush spreads across your smiling face. "Just a little, can you blame me?" 

He's laughing again, and you hear a shuffling noise that suggests he's getting comfortable. "Don't be, I'll look after yer, I promise." 

Fuck. You could get used to hearing that. "I really like your voice." You admit, whispering into the phone with a ridiculous grin on your face. 

"I like yours too, you sound so sweet." 

You drop your voice lower, giggling mischievously. "Only sometimes." 

"That's what I like ta hear." The way Johnny's voice dips as he says that has your insides fluttering, but you can only assume he's returning the favour. His tone returns to its usual charming tone as he asks, "How was your lazy day?" 

"Well, I kind of spent a fair bit of it distracted, thinking about this important call I was going to have tonight..." 

"Oh aye, I should get off the phone so you can wait then." 

"Funny. How was yours? What do you even do day to day, anyway?" You ask, voice brimming with curiosity—there are so many things you want to ask, but you imagine his job can be secretive. 

"Lots of training, and sometimes paperwork, which is right shite." 

"Not when you don't have someone under the desk keeping you company." You laugh, taking the chance to flirt. If you were into Johnny after reading his messages, actually hearing his voice is only making your attraction soar. 

A quiet fuck can be heard, as the man on the end of the phone heaves out a breath. "I'll have ta look into getting you clearance if you keep talking like that, lass." 

"Glad to be of service, what can I say?" You find yourself in a giggle fit at your own silliness, a mix of nerves and joy at enjoying yourself so much.

"God, I love yer laugh." The deep sincerity in his voice makes your chest tighten. 

The drug that is Johnny is already so intoxicating. 

"I'm so glad you can't see me blushing." 

"I'm no'." He sounds so indignant about that. "But I could listen to that laugh all day, really."

If only he could see you pout too. "Now you're just trying to make me blush more." 

He chuckles, his voice dropping dangerously flirtatious again. "Maybe I am, nothing you can do about it."

"Now I'm pouting." 

"Better not pout in front of me, lass." His suggestive tone makes you shiver. 

"Oh, why's that?" You ask, playing coy. 

"'Cause I'll just have to start kissing ya, might even nibble on those soft little lips." 

You suppress a delighted squeak, already so flustered at even the idea of a kiss. "I'm not hearing a downside." 

"No?" 

"Nope." 

"Might not be gentle with you, though." 

"Good thing that I like it rough." The words are out of you before you can reconsider, but they have exactly the effect you intend as you hear Johnny inhale sharply.

"Ach, you and yer wicked mouth." 

"You have no idea..." 

He lets out a rough exhale, his voice turning gravelly and deep. "Fuck, bonnie." 

"Hey, I'm only repaying the favour, I've been squirming desperately pretty much since I picked up the phone." 

He whistles approvingly, his voice now teasing and playfully menacing. "Just you wait til I'm really in ya head." 

"You're already making good progress." You admit.

"Oh aye?" 

You hum contentedly, eyes flickering shut for a moment. "I'll be imagining your voice as I fall asleep tonight." 

"I'll just have ta send yer voice notes to drift off to, so I can end up in your dreams again." You can almost hear the smirk in his voice. 

"Already spoiling me, too." 

Fuck, how is it this man seems to know exactly what to say? Everything that comes out of his mouth takes root in your brain and sends your thoughts running wild—it's like he's already in your head, or as if someone made him in a lab.

"I'll spoil ya every day, if you're ever mine." 

You groan in frustration, unbelieving that a stranger can be so seemingly perfect. "How are you even single, Johnny?" 

"I could ask you the same. Taking everything in me to not ask for an address right now, if I'm being honest." He huffs a laugh. 

While the idea is thrilling, you know you should have at least some sense of preservation, and shouldn't blurt out your postcode for this strange man you barely know. "I'm worth the wait, I swear." You whisper your promise. 

"I'm sure yer are. But to answer your question, my work keeps me busy a lot, and this lifestyle isn't for everyone." There's a hint of vulnerability to his voice, and you sense such a fact is a sore point in his personal life. 

In the fantasy of all of this, you suppose the reality of the situation isn't something you'd stopped to consider. Life for a man in the military was surely so different from a regular 9-5. "I'm guessing that you're away a lot?" 

"Aye, sometimes for just a few days, sometimes for months, all depends." His admission is soft, as if you can hear in his tone that he's waiting for you to bolt. 

If that's the big 'catch' when it comes to Johnny, you can breathe a sigh of relief. "Yeah, I guess you need someone strong and loyal to hold on and wait for you." 

There's a tense silence, something lingering in the air. 

"Hard to come by, I've found." 

The thought makes your stomach twist in the worst possible way. Johnny, at least on the surface, seems so worthy of love. 

You chance the question that's on the tip of your tongue, hoping Johnny doesn't mind your reckless curiosity. "Have... you been cheated on?" 

"More than once, gets less surprising over the years." He finishes with a sad laugh, as you can tell he tries to infuse humour into the whole thing. 

"That's... horrible." 

Being sent away from your home to face gunfire and warfare, all to keep the people back home safe... only to be betrayed by the people back home who love you, who are supposed to wait for you. It's a gut-wrenching thought, and your heart aches for the man.

"A few of the lads here have a similar story." 

"So the army, not for the faint of heart, and dating an army man, not for the faint of heart." You sigh, though you don't feel put off by the thought.  

"Exactly. That you then? Faint of heart?" 

"No. I mean, inside I'm clingy as hell, and I'd miss you like crazy every day until you got back..." Your emotions overtake you, as you imagine a future where you'd have to kiss the man goodbye for maybe months at a time. "But I get the feeling that what we could have would be worth the wait. Hypothetically of course." 

At that, Johnny laughs, and his light tone returns. "Don't want to get too far ahead of ourselves, aye." 

You don't want to get ahead of yourself, you know you shouldn't, but the way you and Johnny have clicked is unlike anything you've felt before. "But... I have a good feeling." 

"I do too, already dreading putting down the phone." 

"I'm not planning on it anytime soon, even if I have to be up early tomorrow." 

"So do I, alarms set for 4." 

You do not envy his lifestyle one bit.

"That's awful! I'm gonna be so cranky tomorrow, I might have to use my lunch break for a nap." You admit, preemptively yawning into your hand. 

"You one of those perpetually sleepy girls?" 

You nod, even though he can't see it. "The sleepiest." 

"Barnaby is a lucky bear, getting to cuddle up to you so much." 

You burst out laughing at the hint of envy in his words. "Are you... jealous?"

"For now, but soon the tables will turn." He faked an evil laugh, that only makes you giggle harder. 

"Oh, you think you can give better snuggles than him?" 

"Oh, I know I can, bonnie. The bear can't wrap his arms around yer, can't whisper sweet things in your ear..." His voice dips back into that seductive, teasing tone. "... Can't trail his hands down to that pretty little pussy." 

Once more, you flush with desire, every nerve alight as Johnny's words wash over you—although it seems like almost everything he says has your body reacting. "You have an interesting way of cuddling, Johnny."

"Didnae say I was actually gonna do anything once my hands got down there." 

"Well, I wouldn't be opposed." 

"When you're in my arms, you wouldn't have a choice, lass." The dark, dominant voice makes you shiver, makes your submissive instincts awaken. 

"Oh yeah?" 

He hums slowly. "Once you're mine, you leave the choices to me. Johnny knows best, yeah?" 

"Johnny knows best." You whisper breathlessly, the words coming out automatically, like they just feel right.

"Steamin' Jesus, can already tell yer gonna be the death of me." 

"Can't have that, your family won't get your death in service payout!" You laugh awkwardly, before a sense of guilt rears its head. "Sorry, grim joke." 

"I don't mind. You should hear some of the ones my Lt. comes out with, he's a right sick bastard." He chuckles.

"Never want to make light of it and hurt you, though." 

"Telling jokes makes it easier hen, you'll be wishing me dead in no time at all."  

You gasp, shocked by the prospect. "I'd never!" 

"Not even when I deny you from touching yourself for my entire deployment? Months of nothing at all?" The sick grin is evident in his voice. 

"You wouldn't, that's so mean. You're too sweet for that." 

"Aye, for now, but don't you like a little bit of meanness, if yer into men like me..." The edge to his voice and the truth to your words has you trembling. 

"Maybe..." You singsong in response, not wanting to give away just how much you liked the idea of his mean side. 

"Bonnie..." He tuts disapprovingly. "Don't play coy." 

You shudder out a breath as you squeeze your thighs together for relief. "I just don't want you to bully me too much right now, I'm already soaked." 

"Is that right?" He seems delightfully surprised by such a revelation. 

"Mhmm." 

"I'm fucking rock hard if it helps, think I have been since last night..." You hear him shuffle, and you try not to imagine what's happening on the other end of the line, or how he looks lying in bed with said hardness.

When he groans hungrily down the line, you feel yourself quake once more. "The sight of you on your fucking knees... Christ alive." 

You can't help but giggle at your unintended teasing. "It wasn't on purpose, I thought it was cute more than anything." 

"Adorable and naughty, could cum just looking at it." He huffs. 

"You're just flattering me, besides, I could say the same about your picture."

Every part of you flushes thinking of the first photo he sent, all muscle and alpha male—it's like he was the physical embodiment of dominance, and just looking at him makes you want to kneel.

"You like the military get up?" 

"Love it, more than I probably should." 

"Oh aye, bet you'd love for me to order you around?" His words are playful, but underpinned with a hint of promise. "All in due time, eh?" 

"All in due time. What's your rank, anyway?" 

"Sergeant." 

"Wait..." You take a deep breath as you consider your question. "Can I ask for your last name or is it too soon?" 

"Mactavish."

Johnny Mactavish—you should remember to give that a quick Google search later.

"Sergeant Mactavish." You test the name on your tongue, trying to imagine him at work, following and giving orders. 

"Sounds too good when you say it, bonnie." He laughs. 

"Thank you, sergeant." Your affectation of the word is entirely intentional, as you attempt to rile him up with the use of his title. 

The throaty groan that leaves him is addictive.

"What else do you like to be called?" 

"Depends on what you want to call me really, but I like... sir." 

"I like it too, will have to remember that for the future, and just torture you with sergeant in the meantime." You can't help but giggle as you flirt. 

"Oh don't worry, am keeping score." He growls playfully. "Wait til I get ma hands on you, bonnie." 

"You're keeping score?" You gasp, a heady mix of fear and arousal coursing through you almost urges you to be even more of a teasing brat.

"Aye, spanking arm at the ready." 

"My pouting lips are ready." 

"Won't be the only thing you use them lips for."

Fuck fuck fuck. Not that you hadn't thought about it already, hadn't already let your mind drift to what his cock might look like—whether it matches the size of the man—now you're definitely thinking about it. Fixated on it, craving it. 

Some cards are best kept close to your chest so early on, so you change tack and go a different direction with his flirtation. "Yeah, with you in the room, I'd probably be smiling a whole lot." 

The two of you continue to chat, you asking what you can about his work as he asks about yours, and you fill him in on the boring world you live in, which seems especially boring in comparison to taking down cartels and traveling the world.

The conversation never stops being easy, the flirtation and innuendo always right there at the tip of your tongues as you tease each other relentlessly—giving as good as you get. All night, you're practically grinding against your duvet as you get lost in Johnny's dulcet tones, and you find yourself just letting him speak for the sake of getting to hear more of his voice.

As Johnny is about to ask you more about your background, you're overcome with a harsh yawn that you desperately try to stifle. Your eyes have been shut for the last hour at least, but with the command Johnny has over your nervous system right now, it's been easy to stay awake. 

"Tired, bonnie?" He asks, voice laced with sweet concern.

"Yeah..." Your voice falls quiet, as the thought of ending the call makes your throat constrict. "But I don't wanna stop talking." 

"Me either, but av got bad news." 

You know what's coming, and you know it isn't remotely anywhere near the end of the world, despite what your heart is telling you right now. "Go on." 

"I have to go." Even he sounds sad about such an outcome. 

"It's not even that late?" The clock reads 2 am. 

"Gotta get a wee bit of sleep before I hit the gym, and then get off ta work. Don't you have work too?" 

"Work from home tomorrow, so it's not too bad. Not fair though, I wanna keep talking." You admit quietly. It's too much too soon, but you're overwhelmed, the tide of your emotions crashing over the edges.

"Tell yer what. Next time we call, we can try leaving it on while we sleep."

Your heart flips, as you almost whimper at how cute the gesture is. "Are you trying to make me fall in love with you?"

"Obviously." There's that gorgeous laugh again. "Is it working?" 

"Just a little, but that might be the lack of sleep talking, I might be going slightly insane." 

Johnny sighs, and it's clear he's battling to keep a handle on his self-control. "Rest, bonnie, I won't be able to work knowing you're not sleepin'" 

You sigh too, accepting your fate. "Okay, just for you." 

"Just want what's best for you, you need your sleep."  

Your head spins at how utterly sincere he sounds—the care in his voice after such a short amount of time serves to drive you even deeper into this infatuation. "Already?" 

"Can't turn it off, am just protective by nature, bonnie. If you were my girl, you'd have a bedtime." 

And that makes your cunt clench and your heart soar. "Johnny..." You whine.

"Yeah?" 

You hesitate to say what you want to say next, but everything within you is calling out for him, desperate to be in his arms. "Don't make me wait too long to meet you, please." 

His laughter is sweet, conveying a sense of understanding more than anything. "I'll try ma best, supposed to be off on Friday." 

"5 whole days."

"Sure you don't wanna wait a bit longer?" 

You shake your head, mumbling a sound to convey your feelings. "Feels right, don't know how to describe it... do you feel it too?" 

Johnny takes a deep breath, his voice shaking slightly as he speaks. "I do, lass." 

"Good." You couldn't even attempt to fight the idiotic grin on your face, or how warm you feel inside and out. "I'll get some sleep, talk soon." 

"Goodnight, bonnie. Sweet dreams."  

You wait for Johnny to end the call, not wanting to push the button yourself and have his presence fade away. When your screen dims, you resist the urge to text him more, opting instead to put your phone on charge and roll over to Barnaby—wishing it was Johnny instead. 

[mishwanders]

The four ocs ( yeah like four lords ) of BbF and their love languages ヽ⁠༼⁠⁰⁠o⁠⁰⁠；⁠༽⁠ノ

I had to rewrite this because tumblr deleted my shit again. Im going to start setting fire to this app istg

ANY WAY 😂 MY FOUR OCS ARE MY FOUR LORDS (and then there Miles Wesker - their guard dog lmao!) we know I’m about to ramble again so everything’s going under the cut

How They Love/What They Need

Sorina Spencer

Acts of Service/Words of Affirmation

Okay starting off with a tricky one because honestly she shows her love in a few ways, but acts of service is her #1. In the story she allows Oswell to stay in her home when he’s in the village, she takes over teaching the children in the training facility, she helps out Albert and Alex who were attempting to make chocolate covered strawberries as a surprise for her, takes it upon herself to drive herself and Oswell to a picnic in Arklay, and even puts her safety of hiding on the line to save Ethan, Mia, and Elena Winters.

But, the woman feels as if she hasn’t done enough because of the foul words other people have said (look at you James Marcus), so she needs words to constantly reminder that she is loved and that she’s doing what she can with the situations she’s been thrown into. Also means she fits well with Oswell, because he can talk, monologue even if he truly wanted to lol.

Matilda Costache

Gift Giving/Quality Time

Matilda enjoys making things in their free time for the ones they love - Heisenberg has a blanket that he refuses to get dirty UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE because it’s that special to him, Matilda even makes a nice little memorial piece for Eva using her old doll, photo, and trinkets, so Miranda can look at it in peace in her cave. Ricardo and Hunk even get gifts - a handmade sweater and knife, a plethora of meals which the men help out with. Matilda likes to make practical gifts that they know will be looked at your used for a long time.

Matilda needs quality time - they crave it. It doesn’t even have to be something elaborate, even just sitting in the room working on their respective projects together means the world to Mat. They fit well with Miranda in that way, because they spend long hours together in the cave - Matilda trying to find Eva in the megamycete and Miranda working up plans to on how to bring the girl out. They also work out well with Heisenberg in that regard too - because they’re both working on the same project (dead cyborg army) so they get to spend a lot of time together doing that.

Ricardo Luis Santos

Physical Touch/Physical Touch

Touched starved gay man finally gets to hold hands with the man he’s fallen for - more news at 11.

But fr, the only person who ever showed him the affection he needed growing up was his grandmother and that increased after he almost died as a child. When he gets to Rockfort Island things get a little difficult for him because there’s no way for him to show that on the island without getting into a physical fight with the others. In Raccoon City things change a bit because Sorina and Hunk are the two who recognize it. Sorina treats him like a mother figure would, gently placing her hand on his shoulder, cheek, or top of his hand (until they get to the village and she’s throws her arms around him in a hug) and Hunk does so by placing his hand on his shoulder or arm in public. In private though, Hunk is more touchy (it is the 90s after all, they can’t be open about their relationship) but when they get out of the US and are in the confines of Matilda’s cabin, touchiness increases. Both of the men always have a hand or arm over the other, whether it be thigh, back pocket, over the shoulder - Matilda has already made it clear that they love them and don’t want them to feel like they need to hide in Mat’s presence, which actually takes a huge weight off of their shoulders there. Matilda uses Ricardo to lean on a lot, one because their balance sucks after breaking their leg, but also because he’s makes them feel comfortable enough to do so - just like they do with Heisenberg.

Elena Winters

Acts of Service/Acts of Service

Elena is a very devoted and loyal person to those she loves - she will do ANYTHING in order to show that, even if it means having to go into a murder house to save them. She also does it by trying to take off the weight of responsibility on other shoulders, adopting Ethan as a teenager so they wouldn’t be separated after their fathers death, helping Ethan and Mia out with Rosemary, staying with Ethan after Mia’s disappearance so he would have to worry about taking care of the apartment but instead focus on himself, helping Sorina out with her own place, her car, etc. helping Chris out with his needs like with the nightmares, taking over some of his duties with protecting the family while they’re in witness protection, etc.

Since the very beginning of her story in Sorina’s - acts of service has always been a part of Elena’s life. Heisenberg accidentally brings her back to life, takes care of her for a month until Edgar Winters shows up and brings her home. Both of his kids knew how much he sacrificed for them and he’s truly where Elena learned it from. Also considering she’s a trans woman living in Texas - not the safest place for her to be - Ethan has become very protective of his older sister and hearing Eveline and Lucas dead name her as a means to get at him made him want to sucker punch both of them lmao.

Sorina also comes through for her many times - calling the cops and the BSAA when Elena and Ethan were in trouble at the Baker House, taking over when Elenas feeling clueless on what’s going to happen next with their lives, and defending her against Miranda. Chris does so as well by stepping up for her with the BSAA and vouching for her ability to help them, he and Jill even do her training together so she’s getting the best of the best, doing things around their apartment when she’s having flare ups from the infections, etc etc. Mia also helps out and Elena comes to trusting her again after everything comes out and Mia is they one Elena goes to (outside of Sorina) when it comes to needing help with her mold infection and what it all means in the end for her.

And since I can, I’m doing one for my newest baby boy - my guard dog -

Miles Wesker

Physical Touch/Acts of Service

Now my new son’s love languages come from a very messed up sense. He’s only ever been used for other peoples gain and the way he was shown to gain other peoples trust is through physical touch - it’s the only way that has ever truly worked for him, unlike his siblings which would be more words based. But he’s much less likely to put much stock into words - he’s been lied to enough. The way he shows it with his older siblings is through basic means, hand on the shoulder, on their arm, he likes to sling his arm over Alberts - which irritates the older man but he doesn’t always shove him off, he realizes it’s just how he shows he likes him. With Claire, much more touchy, likes to have a hand somewhere whether it be holding hers, around her waist, on her belt loop - SOMETHING TO MAKE SURE SHES THERE.

He needs people to prove to them that they’re going to be there and the only way he can truly verify that is through peoples actions. Umbrella had sullied him enough on words with their lies, Alberts the one who really instilled in him his actions speak louder than words for him. It never mattered what his older brother said, he always knew the man cared when he tossed him some extra food in the cafeteria, helped him keep his hiding place in Raccoon City etc. and even Alex funneled cash in his direction to make sure he’d be able to eat at least.

Even with Claire, no matter how many times she threatens to turn him in, she never does and in fact makes it a point to defend him when he needs it. He makes it a point to help her as well, dropping hints or a bread crumb trail to lead her to the next story to undo his own enemies on the black market. They’re enemies, they’re lovers, but he’s also gaming the system for his benefit. A nasty feral man - we love to see it lmao.

Putting this down here at the bottom - if tumblr fucks me in the ass again and doesn’t put this under the cut someone PLEASE tell me so I can attempt to fix it because GOD THATS A LOT OF WORDS UP THERE AND I DONT WANT YALL GO SUFFER MT RAMBLING IF YOU DONT WANNA SEE IT LMAO

[atiny-piratequeen]

haha hehe henlo miss fie... I feel bad everytime I go for ages without sending you an ask T^T

basically,, some complications happened with my old tumblr account and @/blissfulsmiles was deleted. I'm back though!! Ish... I'm far more active on [the app formally known as twitter] but I want to be active here again :(( I've been writing and working a lot, hence why I've been a bit of a no-show lately >.<

I've been in love with nct dream for ages now (I think I said that already!!) and have been writing for them here on ao3 if you're interested at all :> ofc I still love atz and I want to write for them too but writing is so difficult while lifing at the same time 🥹

ily so much, I really hope you're doing well these days and I want to make an effort to be here again!!! >:)

~ AJ ✨🧸

Oh hello lovely! Im glad you're doing relatively okay. Im sorry about whatever happened on your other acc, but its very nice to see ya again!

Im in the same place as I've always been so you know where to look if you need me. Love ya lots!

[morguemaw]

who is lizh? also go for it! i would love to follow you 🦴 - anon

Lizh is short for Lizherubones, also known as TwistedBones, BastardButcher, or Butcherz0ne. They were a popular fontcest artist back in like 2016/17 when tumblr allowed nsfw. A year ago he was somewhat de-platformed because he had a Swastika in his pfp (though he came back), and he enjoys artists like Shadman. To sum up the timeline since i would need to dig to find the og post i made:

To clarify im not seeking them out, i dont want a sorry and i dont want any issues. Even if people think they could help with confronting him it will make my anxiety with him worse sjsjsjs They used to be a inspo of mine, but it crumbled fast when they threatened to sue me for tracing way back (understandable, but diff laws and such and i was i think.. 11-13? i never sold any traced art so i never made money, just used it to learn i guess. App i posted it on is deleted, it was called DoodleClub.) After that i didnt see them until 2018/19, when they found me on insta (people kept @ ing them in my comments for some reason) and threatened me again. Dont think they realized i was the same child. This time they threatened to sue me because i copied colors n shit basically After this on Halloween of 2019 was the final time i ever interacted with them. On twitter. There i was posting and liked some of their posts, i was still a fan and enjoyed them. At a random point waves of their fans/followers/friends attacked me, including them messaging me something roughly of "If you had listened and stopped this wouldnt have happened" Everyone thought i had traced them, stole their art and put my own watermark (flattering for some 14 y/o to hear) on it and ect, even if i posted speedpaint proving i didnt their main ammo for attack was a green skeleton OC of mine named Ezher; who looked similar to their OC Rheiz, only thing that made them a copy was being green basically. They have a friend who was very kind to me tho, they helped me redesign Ezher with a blue/red palette, and even helped me find new outfit pieces for him. Though now Ezher is with a different story and look (he is human now) and is shipped with a oc my gf owns.

I should add they have a HUGE history of this, sometimes i understand, when people traced you all the time back in your golden years i can understand the hate you would have towards people, specially minors. But when he went out of his way to harass a 11 year old girl (not me but scary enough it was a year prior to me finding him) for almost a year or two before they vanished offline, even after they stopped tracing, he publicly humiliated them on his facebook, you begin to wonder if he actually is upset and proving a point, or gets a kick out of abusing his platform. Its a hypocritical pattern because he used to do it all the time before he too was called out.

[drawlfoy]

I can't tell you just how heartbroken Wonders of Ohio left me. I've only ever felt that way with one other fic, and even then WoO topped it. Unlike WoO, the other fic had a very clean cut ending to it (they both died at the end rip) so I wasn't left to my own thoughts about what could've happened after. Which might be why WoO has been absolutely haunting me for the past two days, it hasn't left my mind at all. I think about certain moments, the ending, oh god ESPECIALLY THE ENDING, AT LEAST once an hour. I get that familiar feeling of my throat drying up and my eyes begin to water when I think about it. Another reason being the way you write. I was able to immerse myself into the story and imagine what I was reading in my head, one specific case of this I remember was when Draco made Reader and himself late to school. When he was fidgeting in the passengers seat, his hair unkempt, I could almost see him. I imagined draco with his messy platinum hair, wearing a muggle polo shirt because its just so posh rich kid of him, nervous as he leaned over the middle compartment into the backseat as he performed that glamour spell. I've never been very creative and imaginative but with your writing it was easy for me. It reminded me of how I was able to do the same when reading the Harry Potter books, being able to almost live in that universe in my head was so refreshing. Anyways this is really long, SORRY, but when I saw that you also had a Tumblr (as I originally read your stories on AO3) I just had to look. I scrolled through your page for a while and I gasped when I eventually saw that you posted what you started on writing for a continued ending? (I don't know how to phrase it I'm sorry 😭) I read it and while WoO is still breaking my heart over and over again, I think I'll be able to think about it for longer than 5 minutes at a time without bursting into tears now. So thank you. 🩷

AHHH i’m so upset bc i typed out a whole response and the fucking tumblr app (count ur days staff) deleted it urghhh

anyway some points i’d like to hit (apologies for the length but i just wanted to give this the response it deserved):

1) first of all THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHABKYOU this was genuinely the highlight of my whole year. people like you are the reason i write and i’m being so genuine when i say that this message is like the kind of stuff i dream about getting as a writer. so in conc i’m kissing you on the mouth you didn’t need to but you wrote all of this out and for that i’m forever grateful

2) some thoughts on the ending: first of all IM SORRY lmaoo. i’ll let u in on a little secret: i actually originally planned on a completely different ending where y/n ended up using the box right off the bat and went back to england and spent the last half of the fic learning magic and interacting with the golden trio crew/the malfoys. i told this to a few writer friends and they made me realize that it wouldn’t be as useful in actually answering the silly question that i based the whole fic on (what would draco do if he was plopped in the middle of muggle america?). i decided then that i really was more interested in learning how draco’s character would develop as he came to love someone who was fundamentally differently from him (and didn’t first go through a change that departed from her basic character traits). from then on i realized that a happy ending wouldn’t involve either of them giving up their world at the end of the summer, since they needed to grow up a little bit (and at that point i was old enough to find the idea of giving up your entire life for a relationship at 18 completely terrifying). hence the sad ending…but i think in the long run it means that they end up having a much healthier dynamic later on!

3) if you want to know about what happened after the deleted scene you found: i left the ending so open because i always thought i’d come back to write another series where i explored what happened after, but i don’t think i’ll end up doing that so i’ll tell you what i was planning. i always imagined y/n eventually going to england after graduating and getting established in her career and learning magic (because like literally who wouldn’t if presented with that option). draco is just kind of like a stay at home husband who’s just psyched to be there.

4) thank you so so much for your note about how immersive WoO was!! i’m ngl i’ve always struggled with incorporating imagery into my work. i spent my formative years avoiding anything i considered to be purple prose and that really reflected in my writing. i’m not a super visual person so if i could mention the 3 details i think are important in each scene and could just get on with the meat of the plot, i would, so i’m so thrilled to hear that it was able to give you that experience as a reader despite the fact that i’ve always been worried that i can’t 🥹 thank you again for telling me all of this bc it genuinely warmed my heart i know that this is a little disjointed but oml this like made my day

ill stop talking now because i’m gonna get even more incoherent okok but thank you!!!!! <3

[payphonex]

Well, this is the first time I've written in almost 3 years. I'm not even sure what to say, honestly. I feel like my entire life has been taken from me. I feel like I've forgotten how to write.

Am i supposed to be angry? in love? sad?

lost?

Im lost. I dont know who I am anymore. I gave up everything for this toxic relationship. I stopped going to bars, seeing my friends. i stopped talking to anybody especially over text because everything would be read. I stopped taking phone calls unless i was home alone, which was rare. I learned to shut up, not talk about my emotions because it would be such a big fight; i wasnt paying attention to how she felt when i was upset. Even now, as im writing this i am terrified she'll see it.

She'll say something, she always does. She'll disapprove and ill be in trouble.

again.

We broke up, about 3 weeks ago. I moved to Tennessee. Im finally with my dad. Honestly, the only reason i didnt stay in town was because i finally had the courage to block my mom.

Maybe the universe was telling me it was time to go.

I finally listened.

I dont know how to feel anymore. What im supposed to feel, ya know? In some aspects i feel numb. Im alone out here, truly alone. I guess the good thing about that is i cant get hooked on cocaine again.

I crave it all the fucking time. Being sober for 2 years really doesnt matter when i still smell it laying in bed.

I guess i can thank my sobriety on my now ex, we did get sober together. I cant thank her enough for that.

You know, its weird being back on here. I feel like i could throw up just downloading the app. My old account was deleted, my ex swears it wasnt her but im sure ill never know.

I found you again, i re-read some of things you had written. I really have been looking through rose coldered glasses when it came to you. The pain of losing you in my life was so fucking real for months.

atleast until i realized you truly threw me under the bus. like i was just some freak obsessed with you. I loved you, you were my family.

we were 'inseperable'. Remember? you said that.

"I understand that it'll never be us, part of me knew that it never would be, but i decided to let you fall anyway. make me think it was wrong."

You remember that? you wrote that. I can finally let you know,

it.

was.

wrong.

Because youre so stuck in my fucking head that it is hard to breathe. People still tell me about you, I could never truly get away from you.

I cant forget those nights.

I never could wipe away the fucking smell of lavender and vanilla

Ive never been good at cleaning windows either. Im sure your finger prints are still covering the view i could have had.

You've always been such a good liar. Keeping my at your hip for a backup plan just long enough to leave me drowning again.

The last time i heard your voice was the night my ex called you. I was plastered, black out drunk. I found out my tumblr was deleted that night.

I hit her. Busted her lip because i couldnt let go of you. So she called you. Of course you didnt answer, but the next morning you called me off of a friends phone. She forced me to answer the call.

You sounded like you fucking hated me. Why?

because you lead me on? because you got caught up in the consequences of YOUR actions?

you responded to me! when i wrote about you. You always replied. always.

It was never "leave me alone" or "we need to stop this"

You played me. you fucking used me.

you.

you fucking hurt me.

and i shouldve known better. but youre angry at me? annoyed with me?

it was easy for you to drop me, wasnt it?

I liked one of your posts. im sure youre gonna block me now. i bet you didnt even read this.

im letting you go. i guess this is my goodbye. im moving on and it feels good to finally express myself again. dont worry, my tumblrs always been my own private thing, noone you know will see this, incase youre embarrassed.

[iggykoopa666]

just had a weird experience with some old post. telling via greentext for brevitys sake my apologies

>scrolling thru some blog trying to find an old post

>blog hasnt posted since 2015

>see a different post i think is funny

>reblog it and continue scrolling

>look on my own blog a couple minutes later

>the post i reblogged isnt there

>go back and find it again, reblog again, same result

>like the post & get an error

>copy and paste url in browser (im on mobile btw)

>post shows up, try to reblog it from there. no luck

>close & reopen browser and copy/paste again

>it now says "post has been deleted"

>click "open in app"

>opens just fine, but still cant interact with it

>close app, close browser, copy/paste url and try again

>still deleted. says post is deleted in app too.

>scroll to find it on guys blog, it's not there anymore at all

the contents of the post contained an image submitted by an anonymous user of a meme of a guy turning into a frog. the caption said "para hd plz" followed by a bunch of broken code. i took a screenshot, but unfortunately only of the broken code and error when i tried to like it

heres a few diff links to it, it doesnt work under any sort of url format tho

davidluizhd.tumblr.com/post/80712676753

tumblr.com/davidluizhd/80712676753/para-hd-plz

[sylkana]

could u tell us more about how u two met? only if u are comfortable sharing it of course, if not i just wanted to say im very invested in your posts about him and im glad u found someone like that, its nice seeing u happy ♥ wishing u all the best!!!

i'm very flattered that you've taken in interest in this lol. fair warning, this might be a tad long. ok so! we met on this app, it wasn't a dating app or anything like that. it was something more anonymous than that, i used it to try and meet new people and talk to someone when i needed a distraction from my own head, you know?? literally neither of us were really looking for something like that. in fact, he told me that he was just on there bc he was bored one night and he figured that i'd be nothing more than a 30 minute conversation. well.... long story short, we talked for like 4 hours straight lmao

he was so..... refreshing. as i briefly mentioned before, i have a dumb sense of humor. it's very teasing and dramatic and things like that. when i first joked with him he went along with it and that was so rare for me, it made me very happy

so! we met, talked for a few days and then he told me he was going to switch to his old phone bc the one he had at the time was broken and hard to use. so on this app, as i said it's all about anonymity so if you delete it or switch phones like he was going to, it doesn't save your conversations, you have to start over from scratch. unfortunately this did happen with ours and get this... he spent HOURS searching for me again like..... NO ONE has ever done anything like that for me before. thinking about it still makes me feel all tingly

he just gets me in a way most people don't. like with my overthinking, he's very kind and considerate to let me know when he can't talk to me or when it might be awhile bc he understands. i've told him things that i haven't even told my irl best friend and i've known her for years. he's like my very best friend but one i want to kiss and shower in affection and be with forever and ever

i feel bad bc idk when i'll be ready to actually meet and date and all that bc i have so much shit wrong with my life and it's embarrassing but.... maybe one day, if i'm lucky and don't fuck things up

[tears-of-boredom]

Hey fellas...truly feeling weak right now. I can't remember the awful feelings tiktok brings me, only the way it distracts me from my own failing life. Deleting the app last time worked, my desire to go on it always died down when I remembered I'd have to download it again. But I am truly so low now that I am probably going to download it after posting this. I just don't see my life going fucking anywhere, so putting myself into the shitty vibes of tiktok doesn't seem that bad. This started as a jokey "Oh god tiktok is awful but i want to use it" post, but now I'm imagining impailing my forehead onto a comedically long knife, in the pitch black darkness of this apartment. It's just a fantasy, because stabbing through my skull sounds too hard to try it. Yeah, this week I was feeling kind of positive, because I managed to go to school on monday and tuesday. But then wednesday came along and my shoulder was so sore it hurt, so I used that as kinda of a lazy excuse to not go. Except i didnt even tell anyone about it, so it was just an excuse to myself. And i was fully aware that it was an excuse. I read the first few pages of the new thursday murder club book on monday, and i think my forehead impailing fantasy is in a house from the first book. Im not that sure but it was the house of a dead girl, which had been refurnished and sold again to some old man, and the cops came and replicated the crime scene to find possible leftover DNA and fingerprints? Was that murder club, or was it the random detective book i read that kept calling a woman manly for working out, and kept describing dead people really fucking weirdly? I looked it up the other book is called "Cruel and Unusual". It reads like fanfiction with okay writing, but nothing fucking happens. I thinks its in a series, but honestly it didnt matter? Like i dont think any amount of backstory can help with the fact that the book is boring, and at times very weird. Yeah those thoughts distracted me from tiktok but now i genuinely want to download it versus the implusive need to do so before.

Anyways if you want to read good books heres to recs: The Elementia Chronicles by Sean Fay Wolfe and The Ghosts of Heaven by Marcus Sedgwick

Note: The Elementia Chronicles is a three/four book long series, depending on which version(s) of the last part you read. It's still a great book series, and I wish I owned copies so I could reread them without needing to purposefully seek them out from a library. But if you want just a quick one book read The Ghosts Of Heaven is good. I absolutely despise some of it but just trust me the vibes save those parts.

[twildflower]

Just read a fic with “I wanted to do this” this sentence in it and i want to kms so bad expand to read a semi-long stupidly funny story. Theres poorly written sex in this for explaining reasons

Before this starts i have to hightlight the fact that my mother tongue is not english nor did we have english as first language to learn at the place i used to live, i just had english classes aside from kindergarten when i was around 1-ish(??) so i had better English compared to my classmates, and that *;i did not go to elementary school and went to something called primary school that had 6 years before going to middle school which had another 6 years before i can go to college.*; TLDR i moved around the numbers of the years into more understandable years for english readers. I dont know how good elementary kids write here but back at where i lived they would trip over and die on a pebble because most kids cant even write 100 words without using 1+ hour and 835284 grammar mistakes and wrong words and such. At least until senior years in elementary. My old ‘friend’ introduced me to wattpad, i didnt know it existed until she told me. Okay this explanation is too long.

When i was in elementary i used to write fics on wattpad for like. 2-3 years and bc i went back to look at them after a year/every now and then (when i still had the app) i tried editing everything to make the old cringe ass fics to look better, but it only made me remember how much cringe i wrote and it wasn’t even that much better (no shit dude how much was i going to improve in a 2 year period. In elementary might i fucking add.) . Now i have certain sentences i see and i cringe so hard because it reminds me of what i wrote before and its such a hidden core memory i didnt think of it until i read a fic that had “i wanted to do this” in it and i internally died that second i saw it actually. Its not even the fic it’s literally just this single sentence that i wrote in my very old fic that made me cringe the fuck out. If you read to here might as well spill the tea and ball bc HEY did you know? I read fucking smut in elementary! Woooaaa!!! Unrestricted internet access!!!! Cheers to that fr!!! That fucked me in the ass bc it made me write a sex scene that was just

(Im going to fucking cry i dont want to write this out again but this only exists very vividly in my memory and this chapter in my story thats published (maybe I deleted the whole story I honestly don’t remember I’ll check later) is deleted bc I realized its so cringe some time later i don’t remember when. So literally you just have to take my word for it. Plus i was not going to expose my old account. And this would. Be funny joke material if you ignor ethe fact that i wrote this in elementary. It was probably like, 5 years before hs.)

-protag boy and girl meet up with their friends

-boy drags the girl back her house and leave their friends alone

-girl asks boy whats happening

-boy literally just says “to do this” (or something along the lines of that) and instantly took off all his clothes (i was writing it more like those clothes fell off when he took them off idk wtf was happening), implying he wanted to have sex

-girl blushes and clothes also get taken off by boy in an instant (holy shit its so cringe the memory of it gets more vivid the more I remember abt it)

-the only words the girl says is “ah” “Ah” “aH” and “AH” progressively between single sentences of breifly writing the boy going faster(???)

Then they fucking explode i don’t remember what happened next i think they just came and i cut off the story. Or someone walked in on them idk what.

I hope this amount of cringe makes you think at least you weren’t me and didnt try to write a sex scene at 9-10 years old. I dont know how i came up with this. Just gotta love unrestricted internet access amiright? I never wrote any sex scenes after then bc this gave me very bad trauma. Laughs in pathetic. Anywho, i still have other very cringe stories but nothing can top this. I might post another one of my cringe writings but im going back to sleep bruh i woke up in the middle of the night bc my stomach hurts. Then spent 1< hours writing this lmaooo