#im gonna nap so that it doesnt kill me

[kelocitta]

Day 28: 6 Year Anniversary It took them a bit, but they did find each other again after all

[ihophashbrowns]

everyone in my family is getting on my nerves today

[rhaenella]

idk if ur reqs are open but im obsessed with ur account. i was wondering if u could do a smau of any driver (other than danny ric) x pbr!reader. like shes the only woman to ever compete at NFR in bull riding. shes also 19 and doesnt ride with a helmet (just a cowboy hat) shes also like yhe biggest rodeo barbie you could imagine.

Firstly, I’m sorry it took me so long to get to work on your request, end of the year stuff and other wips got in the way 🫠 Anyways, I decided on Max for this because I almost immediately thought of him and his little Texas outfit 🥰 Also, I have to admit that my (non-American) knowledge of professional bull riding consisted primarily of The Longest Ride so excuse any inaccuracies, but I tried my best to read up on it! That being said, I hope it’s to your liking :) 

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MV1 | Season of Champions

pairing: max verstappen x pbr!reader

genre: social media au

summary: you and max are each other's biggest supporters as max tries to secure his 3rd world championship title, whilst you're fighting for your 1st in a previously all male dominated sport

masterlist

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Liked by wagsf1, user3 and 135,092 others

mv.y/nupdates: Tomorrow our girl can secure one of the few select spots in the NFR finals!!! Unfortunately Max can’t be there due to his own race in Qatar, but we’ll be sure to cheer them both on ❤️

View all 712 comments

user1: they’re gonna kill it on both sides of the atlantic

user2: POWER COUPLE

user3: omg i hope y/n wins 🙏 she deserves this so much

user4: my alarm is set for 4 am to support y/n 🫡

user5: are you taking a nap between their races??

user4: lol obviously

user5: same 😂 it’s a tough life stanning max & y/n

7 October

Liked by y/n, mv.y/nupdates and 112,363 others

pbr: y/n y/l/n becomes the first woman in history to qualify for the NFR finals in Las Vegas in December! Congrats on this incredible achievement, y/n. See you in Sin City⚡️

View all 674 comments

user6: OMG SHE DID IT ❤️❤️❤️

user7: i’m so proud of her, i’ve literally been here since day 1

user8: remember when she used to do rodeo and everyone told her she could never go into pbr… look at her NOW 🔥

user9: she gave her hat to the little girl in the front row 😭❤️

user10: yep i cried

user11: y/n is not only the best, she is the SWEETEST

8 October

Liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 805,298 others

y/n: There aren’t words to describe how it feels to finally have my childhood dream come true. I’m not gonna lie, it was a tough road, especially as a female in this industry. Working my way up through rodeo to where I am today: a NFR finalist!! It’s a real pinch me moment… Little me would be ecstatic (just like present me 🙈) To all the other little girls that share the same passion & dream, it’s possible! Never stop believing in yourself ❤️ Now, let’s get that trophy!!!

View all 3,238 comments

maxverstappen1: My girl 😍 You’ve 100% got this 💪

y/n: Thank you baby 🥰 But first, Texas!

landonorris: GET INNN

Liked by y/n

lewishamilton: Legend in the making 🤍

Liked by y/n

user12: you’re gonna inspire so many girls to follow their dreams 🧡

user13: ✨role model✨

user14: soooo… idk if anyone’s seen the other finalists but she’s going to absolutely annihilate the competition just saying

user15: fr, they ain’t ready

8 October

Liked by user16, user17 and 658,512 others

f1: Howdy, y’all, it’s race week 🤠 Austin, here we come! 🇺🇸

View all 520 comments

y/n: Looking sharp sheriffs!

carlossainz55: Muchas gracias

charles_leclerc: Have to look our best this weekend, don’t we?

y/n: I wonder who for 🤔

charles_leclerc: 😉

user16: UHM FLIRTY MUCH??

user17: easy there sharl, she’s taken 💀

user18: cota the soap opera, i’m here for it

16 October

Liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing and 778,543 others

y/n: Switching my bull gear for that other bull gear 💙 COTA LET’S GOOO

View all 2,160 comments

maxverstappen1: Blue looks good on you

Liked by y/n

danielricciardo: Yeeeeehaaawwww

redbullracing: Team Bull. Always.

y/n: Hell yeah!!

user19: you can pull off literally anything 😍

user20: y/n is at cota this weekend!!!!!

user21: omfg finally some y/n & max content

user22: we’ve been STARVED

user21: exactly 🥲

user23: GIRL WAIT YOU SWITCHED TO THE CAP??

y/n: Don’t worry!! It was only for the pic 😊

user23: oh thank god

18 October

y/n's story

Seen by landonorris, alex_albon and 2,436,712 others

19 October

Liked by y/n, victoriaverstappen and 728,451 others

maxverstappen1: Austin ready 🇺🇸💪

View all 1,934 comments

y/n: There were so many cool hats to choose from but he insisted on wearing mine…😈

landonorris: Initiating the cowboy hat rule just in time before the race… Clever girl

alex_albon: Oooohh everybody watch out

schecoperez: 😂😂😂

y/n: You know it ;)

maxverstappen1: Wait what?

landonorris: Nothing, mate 🤠 You’ll find out soon enough

user24: BYEEEE AHAHAHA

user25: y/n and the whole grid ganging up on max 😭

user26: he’s so oblivious i love it

19 October

Liked by sophiekumpen, redbullracing and 654,281 others

f1: VERSTAPPEN WINS AT COTA! 🏆

View all 2,017 comments

user27: 🔥🔥🔥

user28: the goat does it again

user29: little sad that max didn’t wear the cowboy hat on the podium tho

user30: lmao y/n is probably as well

22 October

Liked by maxverstappen1, alex_albon and 768,311 others

y/n: WHAT. A. WEEKEND. 15th win of the season & 50th altogether!!!🥇Proud of you Maxie 😘😘

View all 2,108 comments

maxverstappen1: Love you 😘

user31: MAXIE??? i’m sobbing

user32: i need to know all her nicknames for him NOW

user33: and i need her to be at every one of his races

user34: same she fitted right in with the crew in the pitbox, joking around and everything :’)

user33: truly one of the few wags who are actually into the sport…

22 October

Liked by y/n, danielricciardo and 734,161 others

maxverstappen1: It’s incredible to win my 50th Grand Prix here today. I feel very proud to achieve this! Amazing job by everyone in the team 👏 And special thank you to y/n, the hat indeed brought us luck!

View all 1,998 comments

y/n: Always trust the hat, you should wear it more often

maxverstappen1: Unfortunately we cannot all break the helmet rules

y/n: 🙄

user35: lmao y/n is like you either die trying or you don’t try at all

user36: she has an aesthetic to look after 💅🏼

y/n: 🤣 You got it!

user36: OMG OMG

user37: BROOO

user38: well at least we’ve got that confirmed now

22 October

y/n's story

Seen by charles_leclerc, fernandoalo_oficial and 2,766,192 others

23 October

y/n's story

Seen by lewishamilton, charles_leclerc and 2,541,384 others

23 October

Liked by user39, user40 and 31,476 others

mv1jet: Verstappen’s jet just touched ground! 🛬 Nevada, United States of America 🇺🇸

View all 508 comments

user39: oh god everyone get ready

user40: this can only mean 1 thing

user41: MAX EMILIAN VERSTAPPEN, 3-TIME F1 WORLD CHAMPION, COMING TO SUPPORT HIS GIRL AT THE BIGGEST PBR EVENT OF THE YEAR HELLO YES I AM SAT

28 November

Liked by mv.y/nupdates, pbr and 275,021 others

wranglernfr: Today marks the start of the 65th NFR Finals! Newcomer and fan favorite y/n y/l/n has a good shot at winning the championship this week. However, will she decide to adhere to the mandatory helmet regulations or will she risk disqualification and still wear her self-proclaimed good luck hat? We’ll find out soon, folks. Stay tuned!

View all 1,454 comments

user42: i bet she keeps to her aesthetic

user43: oh def, she basically said it herself already

user44: but but but would they really disqualify her when she wins…??

user45: technically it is against the rules to ride without a helmet during the nfr’s so… yeah they might

user44: 😥😥

user46: please y/n don’t jeopardize it all 😩

2 December

maxverstappen1's story

Seen by landonorris, schecoperez and 3,014,839 others

11 December

Liked by maxverstappen1, mv.y/nupdates and 301,294 others

wranglernfr: NFR 2023 Champion y/n y/l/n⚡️Despite sticking to her famous but controversial cowboy hat, y/n becomes the 65th winner in Las Vegas at just nineteen, beating the runnerup and last year’s champion Billy Youngster!

View all 1,778 comments

user47: SHE DID IT!!!! 💪🔥

user48: i’m bursting with pride i’m so happy for her 🥰🥰🥰

mv.y/nupdates: two world champions this is almost too good to be true 😭❤️

user49: their christmas is gonna be one helluva party

user50: well deserved, that billy kid had it coming

user51: he only won last year because of dumb luck!

user52: FACTS

user53: this year we have a winner who’s worthy of the title ❤️

user54: can’t get over how y/n was so far up ahead they literally couldn’t disqualify her for the hat thing lol

user55: imagine if they had, people would have rioted

user54: omg they would have, with max at the front hoisting his pitchfork in the air, leading the pack

user55: 😂😂

11 December

Liked by maxverstappen1, fernandoalo_oficial and 1,219,748 others

y/n: Cowboy hat + racing gloves = champions of the world 🏆

View all 4,193 comments

maxverstappen1: ❤️

sophiekumpen: So proud of both of you 🥰

victoriaverstappen: Coolest auntie (en oom natuurlijk🙊)!!!

Liked by y/n

landonorris: Congrats on making champion, champ!!! And wow… Max has got his own hat 👀

y/n: Yup! He deserved it after his triple US win 😍

charles_leclerc: Does this mean that your hat claim has lifted…?

maxverstappen1: Unless you want another inchident, back off

y/n: Uhm... He knows what it means now…

charles_leclerc: 😳

alex_albon: RIP Charles Marc Hervé Perceval Leclerc 🪦

Liked by maxverstappen1 and y/n

12 December

Liked by y/n, landonorris and 1,182,853 others

maxverstappen1: Wear the hat…

Comments have been disabled

12 December

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a/n: translation of “en oom natuurlijk” > “and uncle ofcourse”

Happy holidays! x

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[rzyraffek]

Slashers with y/n that just gets along with everything

Like slasher could litteraly kill somone near y/n and she would be like alr alr whats really important is that you are happy🤠😎. Im sorry that first 2character had super long headcanons while last ones have way less :( I had no ideas Request open!

Billy Lenz

He always expects some sort of negative response when he calls people and when he heard new voice on the Phone he got even more exited cuz new person new reaction! He totally didnt expect her to just go "yeah yeah sure buddy, anyways... how is your day man? Cuz im so so tired...*starts normal converstation*

He probably tries to stay in character but he is so caught of Guard he doesnt know how to react really (hehe the table has turn)

Now he kinda hopes that she will pick up cuz shes very intresting😈 billy likey

"Ew its this creep again! He is asking for you y/n? Of please dont tell me you befriended him??" "So what? He said hes favourite fruit is strawberry he cant be that bad!" *billy saying slurs on the phone*

You need to constantly tell him that, no Billy no harrasing women isnt sexy, you arent quirky, you are mentally ill

"Y/n i killed that bitch that was gossiping about you 🧍 " "👍good for you billy im glad you found healthy way to cope with that negative emotion😇" "on god"

His whole moral compass is created around the simple question 'does it hurt y/n?' .1:no it doesnt so feel free to do it .2 do not do it, she will ban Billy from sweets (bad ending)

The man from hush

This guy. This dude. This Little gremlin. He is upset that he gets no reaction! Like please oh please act all angy when he 'acidently' shot tire in her car! But oh no ofc no, she had to be like "oh its okay honey i have backup in garage🥰" hes like HHUH SINCE WHEN WE HAVE GARAGE

Like tbh thats how i imagine how they met: he saw her, he wanted to hunt her, she was so chill that she didnt even leave her household while the power was off and he went inside and just saw her having lil nap on couch. 🧍🤨erm exuse me gurl im trying to roleplay epic hunter here tf

He probably kidnaped her cuz she was too weird to just kill her but he didnt want to risk her calling police. He probably tied her up and yeeted her on backseats. And then she begun judging music on the radio"yo big guy can i get some good music taste?" "What? Whats wrong with Taylor Swift?"

He will overshare everything to kinda check where is her limit if it comes to being chill "yeah so i killed this old lady.." "im sure you had good reason🥰" "🤨... anyways... yeah so i was drinking some redbull when some guy said i look ugly so i shoot his head off and-" "HEY HEY hold up geez you CANT drink Energy drinks?? Bestie you know it is unhealthy?? Also you like hunt for sport it will ruin your condition!? How you gonna shoot people with shakey hands?? You crazy or something?" "Damn😔"

Micheal myers

I tried to put him here but i realised he will be as chill as her.

Like he can give her gifts covered in blood and she' just going to clean it and wear it like nothing happened or completley ignore it

He cares about this stuff as much as y/n so like not at all. I mean tbh theres is a bit of difrence: shes at least positive about it! Like "yeah micheal go for it, love🥰😇 i know its hard to cope with trauma take it all out alr?" Shes trying to be a good supporting gf not her fault she never had serial killer bf!

Brahms Heelshire

He lives for attention! What do you mean the war crime he commited this lunch break is okay!?!? Baby pleasee

But this negativity disapears the moment he realised he can get a lot of positive attention when he will do some nice stuff! "Oh honey I didnt kill any rats today" "oh that's amazing brahms I'm sure you and the rats inside walls will get along well soon🥰" (rats in walls bully brahms)

Please complement him or he will get a tantrum and destroy something

Brahms and rats have very hard past i might do seperate hc about that

Ghostface

"Look babe! My newest victim *shows photo*" "ugh baby...😰 you NEED to buy new camera or watch some youtube tutorials about how to take good photos" "aw man whats wrong with my pictures 😔"

Otherwise y/n supports his hobbies! People need to grow😇 (and he needs to grow up)

If theres 2ghostfaces(like in most movies) they will bet money on how long you gonna keep this 'do whatever as long as youre happy' act. Well they didnt know that this wasnt an act but her personality

Also they will probably try to use this chillnes aginst her like "oooh y/n something terrible happened! I crushed my car oh what will i do!" "Alr bestie i will drive you over there😇" "😈omg you are so nice i totally didnt expect that(heheh i dont need to pay for gas today (hes very evil))

[safetyobstacles]

starting o segredo na floresta now, im either gonna finish this in a week or its gonna take months good luck me

update - i love joui

joui, its a little cloudy out, roll for sanity. joe, you stubbed your toe, roll sanity. joui did you just frown???????? roll a sanity test with disadvantage. that was cool joui, you gain 1 sanity. just kidding somewhere in the netherlands a child tripped and scraped their knee, you lose 10 sanity.

i think im going to put my updates under the cut instead of spamming posts B) beware of spoil

UPDATE

if cellbit takes liz or thiago from me ill never forgive him

this bar has to be its own paranormal entity, thiago would have died if the gun had a bullet in it and cristopher nearly got knifed to death in their first fight loll

EP 2

npc thiago about to be the most useless mf ever i swear if he dies to a stray ant or something ill cry just put him in a box for safe keeping

what would i do without the mental image of joui dropkicking every monster he sees

liz why are you finger painting with the ooze monsters remains and why did it give you 1 hp ?????? NEVERMIND

EP 3

RACCOON bro has 8 health but he sure is happy

faz um teste de sanidade

when i said thiago was gonna die to an ant i didnt actually mean kill him with giant spiders

cristopher no please dont climb a tree these are spiders they can climb nah bro cristopher is dead af im gonna miss him. bro cellbit just kill him already bros dead 2 hp

damn

ep 4

at this rate luba doesnt even need to roll sanity we all know hes gonna fail anyways joui's having the worst two days of his life

jesus christ i just woke up i cant handle this shit cesar's punching a hole in my itty bitty heart bones

please stop talking about leticio's cacetinho

EP 5 how long is too long for a tumblr post btw

the starting soon screen replaced cris with arthur notlikethis

cellbit is far too happy about them going to this house i hate it i hate it

i would like for them to leave a casa now :))) they got gregório time to go :) DAMN JOUI JUST GOT STEAMROLLED BY THAT ZOMBIE ROLLED A 99 VS CELLS 1 jesus christ thiago LOL NO WAY GREGÓRIO IS DEAD AF bro was just taking a nap in the car and this is what he gets

that was horribly stressful its 3 am how am i supposed to sleep after that

to be fair, if i was rodolfo and liz didnt use the tazer, i would have just dragged gregório in front of arthur and killed him in right in front of his face soo...

ROLLED 100 LOOOOOOOOOOOOL a caverna

COOL GUY ALERT HOPE HE DOESNT KILL BRULIO HAHAhahaaa

EP 6 I HAVE GREAT ANXIETY THIS MESTRE GUY IS ABOUT TO KILL HALF THE SQUAD

luba i know youve been rolling absolute dog shit the last 5 episodes but this one really counts buddy brulio :(

most stressful hour of youtube ive ever sat through i cant believe they all lived

A PORTA FORTE

EP 7 im so glad they're going back to the house im so happy ive never wanted anything else this is great nothing could go wrong in this house nothing

7 episodes in and ive just now realised that he keeps talking about circles and spirals and those have significance with a certain element and now i want them to leave carpazinha go back home forget this ever happened

undressing with the homies in the haunted basement next to a dead old man

not thiago canonically talking to a bookshelf after complaining about joui's whispering to his shotgun

THIS GRAVE IS SO COMPLICATEDDDD I BET ITS FUCKING EMPTY THEYRE ARGUING ABOUT HOW TO "knock out" AN OLD LADY AND ITS PROBABLY JUST WORMS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GRAVEEE

this whole graveyard scene has me in tears thiago staring at nothing while they try to get him to unmute, old guy on the phone, joui picking up the old lady i just laughed so hard i feel ill

the one time joui doesnt fail a roll he loses 6 SANITY?? 8 SANITY?????????????? SENHORA VOCE TA BEM????? YOU JUST CHOKED HER OUT JOUI WAIT SHES GONNA DIE??????????? SHES GOING TO DIE???????????? THE GASOLINE IN THE MOUTH??

grounded from the shotgun for 1 week

EP 8

Thiago's pants are still fucked up from last episode btw

about to have a tpk over alchohol poisoning

if cesar survives this campaign hes gonna put as many points possible into forgery

a caverna im goign fuckign crazy the god of tdeath pr spomething is in this cave theyre gonna walk inside trip on a pebble and get eaten by hundreds of tiny cave beetles

Victor is absolutely about to get his face eated by a spider and/or be swallowed by the cave

ok but santo berço looks kinda cool like i would live there

EP 9 he just (re?)released osnf merch but i refuse to be spoiled by absolutely anything ive done so well i will not be tainted by cesar's really cool green on black long sleeve

wait i love the gatekeeper its a shame this town is probably a hallucination and theyre all actually slowly dying in the middle of the forest GIANT COWS I LOVE THE GIANT COWS WITH REGULAR SIZED HEADS

????????????????????????????????FELPS??????????????????????

buttery butter

thiago this is why you should have quit smoking

?????FELPS?????????

EP 10 so if thiago hadnt used the lighter would felps still be alive, probably just would have died later B)

bro joui has got to buy new dice this is crazy

this is gonna be the average 2 star motel experience BRO JUST DABBED ON CESAR liz is about to get bodied by the hallway ghosts this is just like a regular motel HUH UHHHHHHH

no joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy

mom i want to go home i dont want to stay in santo berço anymore jesus christ

EP 11 how am i supposed to just start the next episode after that i think the mental image of brulio beating arthurs skull in is burned into my brain space

sandwich sandwich

i love the giant cows so much i want one GIANT CHICKEN LAY GIANT EGG I LOVE THE GIANT CHICKEN intimidating the human sized pig

EP 12 still thinking about how cellbit thought new zealand was so close to europe, he was so sure of it that he was making me unsure of where i knew new zealand was

both times thiago was played by cellbit some horrific shit happened so with arthur being an npc this episode im prepared for the worst also this starting soon screen is fucking wicked

are you telling me joui's max sanity is now 12 bros been losing it for so long hes stuck like this joui is the "damn, you live like this?" meme

CELLBO ROLEPLAYED TOO HARD HIS HEADSET JOINED AS AN ENEMY AND BEAT HIS SETUP

"that sounds like a book title" bro let the intrusive thought win

baby nidere

no way the cow has been suffering this whole time ill cry

theyre about to rp their way into an angry medieval mob when they get found with the body of the dead gatekeeper B) does santo berço have dungeons, bc if they do thats where theyll be sleeping tonight nvm the gatekeeper has demons inside him sorry joui HUh no way they killed the gatekeeper dude wtf

EP 13 chat's a bit excited to go in the cave guys if anyone reads this what am i supposed to do once i finish this season. what do you mean i just have to go onto desconjuração. what do you mean i have to leave this story behind. please let me keep all the characters in this one.

THE CAVE MAP IS COOOOOOL THE LIGHT MOVES WITH THE MINER everyone struggling to flip their characters 5 mins into the cave made me laugh so hard i had to pause to breathe

I LOVE MOLES DUDE THEYRE SO COOL ok but i dont love this many moles BRO I LOVE MOTHS TOO THIS IS AWESOME wait no i hate bats THIS MOTH IS SUFFERINGGGGG

THE SUCC hes about to kill them all with the Succ out of spite thiago never mock one of cellbit's monsters again ARTHUR ZIUM

door door door door door door door door door door the gatekeeper is alive???

ih arthur nah dude let go of cesar :(((((((((((( gotta hand it to arthur hes survived two of these situations now get it, hand it to him, CAUSE HE LOST HIS FUCKING ARM WTF HIS ARM DETATCH LIKE A LEGO sorry i vote we still kill the gatekeeper just in case just to be safe

EP 14 did cellbit have a past traumatic experience with a vacuum is that why he created the Succ

agatha?????? bro agatha's life sucked big pp

every time cellbit says hes excited for something i grow more afraid

if they kill and eat the gatekeeper would he also taste delicious just wondering

i think i might know the reason why 12 sanity joui has a funky grey form but 55 sanity thiago doesnt, but maybe im crazy nevermind thiago had the funky grey within him this whole time wait does that mean hes gonna die if santo berço dies DAMN

joui just really wants to see thiago naked also hes just blatantly stealing arthur's knife he really is losing all his sanity that was possibly the most unconvincing "nada" ive ever heard

EP 15 before i start a new episode i always go to the vod on twitch and watch the memes first so i can go "hehe" for five minutes, and then go "oh no" for the next 4 hours

hypothetically, if joui managed to get the symbol on him before anyone noticed would he have just lost all 12 of his sanity and gone mad cuz that would have been crazy :,)

this is it cellbit is finally going to kill npc thiago joui is so very happy about his shotgun i thought maybe he was getting better but hes whispering to it again

alright whats up with cellbit and the outwards opening doors because i swear i have never seen a door that opens out instead of in, are all the doors like that in his home these doors are made to have creatures attack from inside ih i just checked like 3 times to make sure i was on the right episode lmaoooo

"pobre martha" DAAAAAAMN MARIANA ICE COLD

one buff woman vs all 3 equipe kelvin who will win (1 woman) crazy that equipe kelvin managed to accomplish what took our group 9 episodes to get to lool they even got the leticio cacetinho dlc, but they did skip the spider boss fight and the entire house level

THE BLACKSMITH IS MIGUEL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

EP 16 the joui, liz, and arthur cosplay look like theyre going to a nice dinner meanwhile thiago, kenan, and cesar just look homeless

idk if thiago's making it out of this one :,) maybe we just take thiago's weapons its not like he can do much to help anyways kenan wants to skin him listen brother i dont think thats gonna work im at the 52 min mark and cellbit is acting sus af the blacksmith is about to appear and stomp them all or something

joui would roll a 99 and nearly knife cesar and liz is trying so hard not to metagame her way to the explosive backpack loving how trigger happy joui is right now go on guys give him more explosives what the worst that could happen

is kenan also a wellspring do they have to kill him cuz thats gonna be kind of awkward and on that note since thiago has the symbol on him does that make him a wellspring too ill cry i will cry

NOT JOUI APOLOGIZING FOR LYING ABOUT HIS SAMURAI ANCESTRY

damn that scene between joui, liz, and thiago was the best in the entire season

i would like to take this moment before they all get swallowed alive by some horrible sludge tentacle monster to proclaim my absolute hatred of Santo Berço. I know i said at the end of episode 8 that i thought it looked cool but im over it ive moved past that point in my life i hate Santo Berço

BIG GOOEY MEATBALL

"the people are happy here!" says the blacksmith as he currently has 5 people forcefully locked up for decades that have gone mad with probably no way of ever regaining their sanity i just realised miguel and the old blacksmith fucked so hard they had a kid

final boss aboutta come crawling out of the meatball please stop trying to skin thiago the symbol isnt gonna come off

THAT WAS SICK AF THEYRE ALL DEAD AS HELL

???????????????????? "kenan you have one last sane move before i take your character and throw him off a cliff"

:(

post i made after i finished osnf (made like 3 days later because i was so so so so so so so so so so sad)

https://www.tumblr.com/safetyobstacles/739056899257942016/i-finished-osnf-after-almost-2-months-and-you-know?source=share

[woncherie]

Hi! I saw your request ps were open and that you wrote for One Piece, and I thought i could give it a shot. Could I request a fluff scenario with straw hats x fem!reader who is sick and cause she always helps the rest of the crew now they all take care of her. (I’m sick right now and I honestly want some comfort lol) please and thank you! 💕

hello beloved <3 it took me a few days but here it is!! i hope you like it!! and i hope you got well <3

strawhats when you are sick:

im gonna be very honest with you here. i think the only useful people in the strawhat crew are chopper and sanji when you are sick.

that doesnt mean that the other members arent gonna worry about you though!

chopper will make you some medicine and order you to stay in your bed to get enough sleep.

sanji is probably gonna be a bit dramatic at the beginning, crying and throwing a fit that you wont be around him anymore for a few days. he loves your presence and you always offer your help in the kitchen, even though it might not even be your best strength.

after calming down a bit (nami probably punched him in the face until he stopped crying), he's gonna make you something to eat to strengthen your body again. his food is gonna make you feel soothened and safe <33

now to the useless people in the crew:

luffy is gonna be sulking! you arent here to play with him anymore? he can understand that you are sick and you need rest, but seeing you so tired and exhausted in your bed? it pains him to see you like this.

luffy is gonna sit on the bed, right next to you, and tries to make you laugh. he's gonna bend his face and tickle you until you are laughing again (even though thats probably gonna make you feel more exhausted. but he's trying his best, i promise.)

usopp is right next to him, showing you a few party tricks he learned that might amaze you. they are both just trying to make you forget about your symptoms and kill the time that you are forced to spend in bed & play games with you. (chopper wont let you leave early. nope. not gonna happen.)

zoro is gonna be absolutely clueless on how to help you. he might hand you a few tissues when you ask him for them, but not without grumbling a bit. he may act annoyed that you are sick and that he has to help now, BUT he also stays when the others are gone, taking a nap on the floor next to your bed so you dont feel too lonely. you told him he doesnt need to stay. he told you to shut up. (lovingly of course)

robin and nami are gonna be the only people on the ship who are checking in on you properly every few hours. nami brings you something to drink, robin gets you a book she enjoyed, and they both stay a few minutes. they probably will start a small talk about something one of you read a few days ago, just for you to ignore your symptoms for a few minutes before tucking you back into bed.

Brook is gonna be camping in your room too, playing you a few songs on his violin just for your mood to rise again.

☆☆☆

im so sorry for this trash i just produced. idk my brain couldnt come up with more. im sorry i kept u waiting for nearly a week and then post this bs here JFKSLKSSK i hope you still like it though <3

[borathae]

ok finally doing this after a nap

Chapter 3

What is wrong with me *me 24/7, ALSO YES WHAT WAS ALL THAT???

Ever since you set foot into this estate, your brain went into a total frenzy YES EXACTLY AND it seems like she can remember hmmm

Why does everything here look so ancient? YOU NEED TO READ FANFICS to learn to live (except we dont get lucky yn parts just the unlucky embarrassing parts but thank god we aint dying every 5 chapter like yn)

You remember drinking one glass of wine. the said glass of wine:

It is totally normal to forget your date’s name after sleeping in his guestroom never been on a date, but i forgot someone's name after sitting next to them all day and realized after class while talking to bestie and had to wait till attendance next day -_-

ok the door is still locked. he told her to keep them locked and she did, but opened it for a sec and locked it again during the night. and the entire teleporting happened. this is a bit confusing hmmm. like opening it for a sec caused the change, but she locked it again. then how did they get her inside again? the bruise is there so it means it was real. the lock must have some magic and opening it during night causes it to go away?? i will think later lol

Did you punch your own throat in your sleep oof

Why did he know where to look exactly it wasnt a dream babe

istg im about to bitch slap this bitchless dude (TAE I LOVE U DONT TAKE IT TO THE HEART)

You should take better care of your belongings Kim Taehyung damn

He creeps me out honestly speaking all of them are creepy, yoongi is 10% less

just like that all your worries are wiped away like magic. like magic or with magic 👀👀(were u silent or silenced)

your knees are buckling like crazy THIS WILL BREAK ME THIS IS GONNA BREAK ME

Okay not going to lie, this was kind of cool you know whats more cooler??? jimin feeding his cycle 😂 THAT REMINDS ME OF JIN RIDING THE CYCLE HANDS FREE *fans myself

You snort, “so very humble.” ikr sOoOo HuMbLe

hmm usually you see cats sitting on horses, chilling. yoongles must be a rare kitty

Tell me again, why are you studying?” seriously dude must be bored as fuck to study, or started to forget cuz its beeen toooo looong

hold on what if some old being makes some theories and is "killed/disappeared" and later, with a different identity, studies his own theories in college 😭 and continues with it lol

It earned you a scholarship, it clearly must be well written.” or was it something to bring her to them??? 👀 *sus

The entrance exam stole my sanity from me. Even after a week of completing it I still felt jittery.” what type of students go there? what type of university is that? very weird

sunlight was just too bright for his eyes, DONT BE AN UNCULTURED SWINE, THATS WHEN UR SUPPOSED TO TWITCH AND SAY I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

Emma left, she won’t come back again EMMA DIED FOR SURE OOF

It was a clean and painless end whats that supposed to mean mr.dracula?

Taehyung was a man of such humour ikr him in interviews 😭

Taehyung knew such peculiar stories about places and that doesnt seem weird???

the rain part was soo cute it could me giggling and listening too still with you

wow the honesty was cool, though there is many secrets, some parts feels really raw.

we are both pick-me girls then BAHAHA PLS *starts playing pd48 pick me

they are so cute im gonna die

(the way i started slightly mad at tae and then ended up simping, sighs)

THEY ARE GONNA HAVE ANOTHER DATE YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE

i cant wait for 2seokkook's pov and her talking to them woohoo

i love how smoothly its written, like everything just flows nicely, the scenes and dialogues, its like those nice cozy well directed movies that you watch with pillows and blanket and rested face, body and mind

its only been 3 chapters, obviously the suspense wouldnt make me grip my pillow yet but its already made me clutch my blanket/pearls lol

jjdafjs it took me so long to figure out how the wine pic happened HAHAHA this is such a funny idea help fjadjfs 😭😂

What is wrong with me *me 24/7, ALSO YES WHAT WAS ALL THAT???

ISTFG WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS ESTATE???

Ever since you set foot into this estate, your brain went into a total frenzy YES EXACTLY AND it seems like she can remember hmmm

like the suspicion is growiinnggg

Why does everything here look so ancient? YOU NEED TO READ FANFICS to learn to live (except we dont get lucky yn parts just the unlucky embarrassing parts but thank god we aint dying every 5 chapter like yn)

it doesn't make sense to you yet probably but I wanna be SA!OC so bad jfasdjf

It is totally normal to forget your date’s name after sleeping in his guestroom never been on a date, but i forgot someone's name after sitting next to them all day and realized after class while talking to bestie and had to wait till attendance next day -_-

girliepop me all the time, I forget names so easily (the same with song titles FAFAJDS like I kid you not I even forgot BTS song titles sometimes like it's so bad)

ok the door is still locked. he told her to keep them locked and she did, but opened it for a sec and locked it again during the night. and the entire teleporting happened. this is a bit confusing hmmm. like opening it for a sec caused the change, but she locked it again. then how did they get her inside again? the bruise is there so it means it was real. the lock must have some magic and opening it during night causes it to go away?? i will think later lol

hmhmhmhm interesting theory indeed mhmhmmh or perhaps 👀 someone made her lock the door again and then think everything was just a dream 👀 mhmhmhm

You should take better care of your belongings Kim Taehyung damn

"belongings" LIKE THE ICK

He creeps me out honestly speaking all of them are creepy, yoongi is 10% less

JFJADSJF YES jhfahsdhf I agree fjadjfa

just like that all your worries are wiped away like magic. like magic or with magic 👀👀(were u silent or silenced)

INDEED LIKE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER???

Okay not going to lie, this was kind of cool you know whats more cooler??? jimin feeding his cycle 😂 THAT REMINDS ME OF JIN RIDING THE CYCLE HANDS FREE *fans myself

omg hahahaha this scene 😭😭 he is such a goof I love him 😭😭 Seokjin is honestly so hot I need to inhale him

hmm usually you see cats sitting on horses, chilling. yoongles must be a rare kitty

*cries* he is indeed a kitty

Tell me again, why are you studying?” seriously dude must be bored as fuck to study, or started to forget cuz its beeen toooo looong

LMOAOAO FOR REAL LIKE FADHF couldn't be mE FJASDJF

hold on what if some old being makes some theories and is "killed/disappeared" and later, with a different identity, studies his own theories in college 😭 and continues with it lol

👀 interesting ohohooh

It earned you a scholarship, it clearly must be well written.” or was it something to bring her to them??? 👀 *sus

OOOOOH IMAGINEEEEE 👀👀

The entrance exam stole my sanity from me. Even after a week of completing it I still felt jittery.” what type of students go there? what type of university is that? very weird

IT IS INDEED VERY WEIRD ALL OF IT 👀

sunlight was just too bright for his eyes, DONT BE AN UNCULTURED SWINE, THATS WHEN UR SUPPOSED TO TWITCH AND SAY I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

lmaoaooaoao in her defence I have really sensitive eyes too and can barely stay in the sun without my eyes ACHING jfadsjfj so it IS possible

Emma left, she won’t come back again EMMA DIED FOR SURE OOF

👀 mhmhmhmmh

It was a clean and painless end whats that supposed to mean mr.dracula?

LIKE HELLO WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER????

Taehyung was a man of such humour ikr him in interviews 😭

I love him 😭😭

Taehyung knew such peculiar stories about places and that doesnt seem weird???

kfadjsfasj she is just here for a good time not a long time lmaooa

wow the honesty was cool, though there is many secrets, some parts feels really raw. they are so cute im gonna die (the way i started slightly mad at tae and then ended up simping, sighs) THEY ARE GONNA HAVE ANOTHER DATE YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE

fjadjfjad I love how you switched instnatly JFJADSJF THIS IS SO ME WHEN SANGUIS TAE FJADSJFJ

i love how smoothly its written, like everything just flows nicely, the scenes and dialogues, its like those nice cozy well directed movies that you watch with pillows and blanket and rested face, body and mind. its only been 3 chapters, obviously the suspense wouldnt make me grip my pillow yet but its already made me clutch my blanket/pearls lol

gaaah thank youuu <3 I'm so happy that you're having such a good time with it heheheh istfg I love reading your comments, they're so awesome heheheh 🥺😭💜💜

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

mac i am so sorry to enter ur inbox with more qsmp but oh my god. qcellbit update. so he talked to bagi. his sister. he still doesn't remember her. he still needs time to process everything but she said she's waited fifteen years so she can wait a few more days. i'm crying and sobbing rn. also he doesn't even fucking remember what he did to get thrown in prison, all he knows is that he was killing people to survive one day and another he was behind bars. i'm UNWELL!!! he got called in to talk to cucurucho (the fuckin THING that's kind of the federation mascot and it tortured cellbit with a chainsaw months ago FUCK CUCURUCHO ALL MY HOMIES HATE CUCURUCHO) and he was just. fucking tired. yesterday he messed with the feds quite publicly and cucurucho questioned him about it and he said "i don't care what you do to me, you can torture me, i don't care. i just want my family back, i want a future with them. just give me peace. let me rest." HE SOUNDED SO FUCKING TIRED. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE WAS SAYING UNTIL SOMEONE POSTED A TRANSLATION BUT HE SOUNDED SO SO SAD. AND NOW CELLBIT HIMSELF IS GOING TO TWITCHCON SO QCELLBIT IS TAKING A WEEK LONG DEPRESSION NAP. MAC CAN U HEAR ME. I'M UNWELL. I'M LOSING IT. THIS IS ME RN

anyway. hows ur day. i might go watch some steven universe bc i have been meaning 2 rewatch it (or adventure time!!!! one of the two for sure) take a short break from binge watching hannibal 2 watch a silly funny cartoon :3 also still trying to make my way thru marble hornets again it's just such an insane series 2 rewatch u know but i'm getting there!!! sorry i am just currently lying on the floor in my brain thinking about qsmp i had 2 tell u what happened 2 ur blorbo in law today

NEVER APOLOGIZE TO ME ABOUT PUTTING STUFF IN MY INBOX I LOVE GETTING MAIL I LOVE LEARNING THROUGH OSMOSIS I LOVE LISTENING 2 PPL TALK ATBT THINGS THEY LOVE

that sounss aboslutely DEVASTATING btw. oh my god. so the whole thing is like.. she remembers him but he doesnt remember her ?? GODDDD thats so upsetting. im glad hes getting 2 take a nap even if it is a depression one sigh. oh man oh man i love this.

my day was! good i think! i have not had a day to reat since my whole job shadow debacle last week so im kimd of running on fumes BUT . i have off work tmw so im gonna get a haircut and feel all good about everything. and maybe work on some art bc im now caught up to my pre prepped invertober images and i have a couple other time sensitive things like that. ougah. we keep truckin. ive got a huge backlog of youtube videos to watch from last week + beginning of this week i cannot Wait to get thru those and also watch more adventure time !! bc i have offically gotten to Stakes (a marcelone centric mini series) and it is one of my favorite eras ever. i love you vampire lore!!!

[glaivegirl]

too loud, because she might find out im awake and interact or ask for me to sleep or help her sleep

typing on any keyboard

realistically, some things are just not too loud, but the fear and paranoia of sound is so visceral and intense in the dead of night

which would be fine if we had proper boundaries and i could expect privacy

but i usually just sleep because theres genuinely almost nothing im free to do while she sleeps

but she naps for like 4 or 5 hours each day, which i genuinely love abt her, but so much i need to do has to get done during those hours, always it puts me in a state of fear of making noise

and its not even her fault, im just like this already, but her napping makes my, admittedly personal preexisting, issue with a gripping fear of making sounds much much worse

worse because its just so present, i cant ignore it by just sleeping at normal hours or keeping a routine

it makes it worse because she will genuinely be unable to sleep sometimes if im making some sound

but like, it also makes it worse because even when shes not sleeping, she puts so many limitations on the sound i can make

its constant

i cant play music, i cant sing, i cant dance really, i cant monologue or give speeches, i cant practice my voice which is killing me slowly, i cant just use powertools whenever, i cant clean or organize certain things

its kind of a living nightmare, but not something im unused to

just something i cant bear to brook any longer

i need to be able to sing, or just live without fear of making noise, which i suffer from a great deal

but also she just doesnt like when i talk too much, she just wants me to stop talking all the time, especially when im excited or happy

she doesnt really like me in some important ways, and she also gets upset when i dont talk enough

so i guess its just not ever gonna work and im gonna need to be strong and not give in

i need more than anything to show her that she can be happy without me, i need her to see that theres a life for her to live and she can do it and be happy and succeed without me, but i think that might be really hard

so i need to make sure shes okay, even if im trying to get away from her and start a life that doesnt revolve around her, ill still help her clean and i want to pay her back for some stuff, i never want her to be the way i found her

i need her to be happy and i never will abandon her, she needs to be helped through this

she needs friends, she needs better doctors, she needs basic life skills that i cant compensate for any more

[quarktrinity]

quark watches star trek season 2 episode 12

wow what a conveniently expository conversation theyre having just after beaming down

no chekov dont enter the spooky building

holy shit a dead dude

yep that dude sure is dead

holy shit alive people

weirdly loud and intense music

obviously old people think theyre in their late 20s. uh oh

old guy: "elaine was so beautiful. so beautiful." kirk: :T

yes kirk we get it ur into blondes

"old friend" ok so shes his ex. how many exes does this dude have

"when my husband died" so shes single. alright

i think i realized why i find so many of the Kirk Romances boring and annoying and only some of them fun and interesting. most of them are entirely on the basis of "shes blonde and hot and likes him because hes blonde and hot," and all the interesting ones actually establish chemistry and tension and its not just showing that theyre attracted to each other, its showing WHY. and then the boring ones just assume u understand why kirk wants to bang this blonde chick of the week. i actually dont. shes boring, show me why he wants her

obviously plot relevant comet mentioned off-handedly by spock as having not been investigated

kirk having memory troubles methinks

it seems the whole crew is becoming Old

topless kirk <3 thaaaanks <3333

kirks definitely having memory troubles

kirks tummy is so good

kirk has Body Pains

mccoy has gray hairs. theyre all entering their dilf eras

mckirk sexual tension

kirk has arthritis. lmao

they tried to make kirk look like hes balding by just slicking back his hair. he looks kinda goofy

mccoy looks ancient

mccoys southern accent is coming out

whoever wrote this episode thinks aging is horrifying

off-screen lady is off-screen

ok blonde doctor lady is starting to get interesting. my favorite part of this is that kirk points out that she talks like spock. interesting of u to say abt a lady ur hot for kirk.

blonde doctor lady is into dilf kirk. aight

honestly they didnt make kirk very dilfy :/ they shouldnt have slicked his hair back like that, it looks silly

kirk calls out that blonde doctor lady is into older men

alright this is a good love interest. im cool with this

chekov is grumpy

kirks memory troubles are starting to become problematic

kirks napping <3

woah so crazy how the comet was plot relevant

kirk you gotta go take another nap or something

weird tinfoil dildo

spock says Its Too Cold

commodore guy says kirk is getting too stupid to be captain

"this isnt gonna hurt a bit" "thats what you said the last time!" "did it hurt?" "yes!"

dead lady

kirk is obviously insecure

spock were in crisis i think its fine if kirk repeats himself sometimes for a bit. give him time to fix this

mccoys napping <3

kirk is canonically 34

kirk is grounded

kirks being funny <3

kirk does make a good point that theyre wasting time they could spend fixing this problem

commodore dude immediately makes dumb decisions

kirk as a rambling old man is fun to watch

hes acting like a jilted lover with spock. i love this show

the camera is still obsessed with kirks ass

hahahaha this show thinks radiation poisoning can be treated

commodore dude forgot about the space cold war

kirk is once again in restraints

"it could cure or kill" so itll obviously work

kirk has no fear of death

camera is weirdly focused on kirks crotch

yes lets zoom on his crotch while he writhes on the bed in pain. i couldnt make this shit up if i tried

commodore dude doesnt know shit about the space cold war

kirk is Fine now. damn i almost forgot how sexy he is

kirk is so good at captaining

the romulans should know that kirk would never blow up his ship. dont they even watch star trek

mcspock banter

"well, gentlemen, all in all, an experience well remember in our old age- /stops, reaches for his back with a surprised and thoughtful expression, then adjusts so it looks like hes just holding his hand on his hip/ ...which wont be for some while, i hope" youre 34 kirk it happens

[hauntedtrait]

i woke up at 5pm yesterday so naturally i stayed awake til now, 12:30pm lol and i have just been playing sims like crazy since then and im still so mad all my clutter disappeared and i dont have the motivation to do it ALL OVER AGAIN bc that took me 12 goddamn hours and if i lose it all again i might kill someone at EA idk it doesnt even make sense like im still trying to figure out how and why that happened, bc it wasnt JUST things i moved with tool, nor were it just the more recent things i added, it was absolutely completely random and so bizarre and i cant recover it and its also giving me errors when i try to save to my gallery so thats coooool anyways im gonna take a nap i think

[the-chickenshit-oddity]

B99 Obsessive Rewatch Season Two

rewatching B99 and taking notes. also, sometimes i get ideas of stuff i wanna see played out more, so i post them as prompts and link them here. spoilers for all of season two.

2:1

Jake as an italian mobster kinda

Is this the first holt&jake hug we’ve seen?? Rayray doesnt even flinch so cute

Jake’s rapidfire recap : fixed a boxing match / smoked a whole cigar w/o vomitting / was in a room w/ 10 Sals

Jake lies to amy about liking her

Jake has “lady hands”

Holt says he’s seen MOVIES PLURAL

Awesome begins with an O, JP 2013 probably

“i am feeling trepidation at the prospect of a parentless existence” = baby holt’s parents had a thing when he was 7

Weirdest thing in the whole episode is mobster jake being beaten by a cop on mob turf and none of his mobster buddies helping out

Baby holt snuck into daddy holt’s office to check out his collection of antique globes = daddy holt issues ref above

Proud daddy holt. Forgot to note if it happened in s1 so we’ll consider this the beginning

Jake unlies to amy about liking her

Gina and boyle shag again

2:2

Terry’s getting snipped and gina is way creepy

Boyle has a sister (probs castle girl) that we never mention again?

Wunch appearance and holt is a dramatic shit i love him

Wunch&holt : wunch shot holt, holt tried to get her fired, wunch destroyed holts file while UC, holt embarrassed wunch in front of derrick jeater who??

Amy’s fierce when someone’s fucking with her career we stan

Charles has seen the little mermaid

Holt’s a great amy dad cause both of them are ambitious nerds

2:3

Jimmy jabs est.2008

Jake knows rosa’s friend katie (and s1 amy’s friend kylie – how the fuck)

Lots of parallels to FRIENDS. Accidental sex tape, two guys accidentally nap together, probs other stuff, where’s the downstairs officers brooming the ceiling?

Squad screams like maniacs in the bullpen and random background people literally dont even care – ie this is such a habit people are over it

Bomb suits kinda look like minions or is it just me

Hitchcock is evil – do we think he’s related to gina or what?

Amy wins

2:4

Halloween heist

Holt is a master jake player, all rejoice

Holt says watch from kevdad & kevdad dead

I want ginas jacket

Jake has cousins ie jake has aunties??

2:5

Trust levels off the charts. Leaping at terry, telling holt the truth and asking amy for help. Okay so that’s only jake but still

Wunch is evil

My man holt is sooo tense, how long do we bet till he blows up?

Amy is giving toddler mom vibes rn somebody give her a margarita

>> amy has to babysit some random kid and realises he’s identical to jake in behaviour

Im gonna need baby terry being a disco champion thing

>>Omg!! Holt caught the disco killer, maybe disco killer killed disco nerds, ie holt saved terry’s life!

Lmao kev passive agressive is my life

Holt is a regular holmes wtf

How did jake get guest pjs, im sensing a food/drink related accident which makes twice this episode with amy’s car

Holt&jake teaming up is my fave thing ever

Terry at a soccer game for his kids would be terrifying

2:6

I’m in love with jake’s “why am i an idiot” face

Amy goes to holt screeching “captain” like he’s her dad, i need an amy prequel series, i love her

Rosa’s really backhanded at compliments it’s awesome

So cops hate lawyers and firepeople?? Who are they buddies with? (except for the criminals eh)

Whats a pow wow?

Is this a “season’s main human-mess that needs holt guidance” thing? First was jake, this feels like amy’s

2:7

When did holt get stabbed IN THE NECK??

gina get off on chaos like a demon she’s evil

precinct lockdown ep – all of those people are terrible and i hate them

why does terry’s wife not care about her brother being a dick?

2:8

Terry and amy waterboard themselves for some reason

So cops hate mailpeople too

Forgot holt had a gambling addiction

Coping stuff : holt workouts / terry self torture wtf? / gina meditation

Jake&rosa friendship is great

2:9

Holt wants bland ugly food, like how picky can you get

How is jake inviting teddy to come a proof of teddy being romantic?

Note to self : never go to a themed hotel they’re haunted

“pb&js are so simple a child could make them” makes me see neglected baby holt making himself food as best he could >> tie in with no dad baby holt thingy

Rosa got possessed by the devil

Lessons : CB > RH cooking stuff (epic fail)

Wheres the award for the most awkward double date ever?

2:10

Doug judy’s back

Jake has no ability to hold grudges?

Doug judy’s got real nice teeth

Amy stand up to holt, holt likes

I’m not interested in the whole boyle/linetti storylines :/

2:11

Holt took all night to think of an insult for wunch but burns people left and right no problem >> my boy doesn’t actually hate her?? Omg is this some weird non-sexual game they play? Gross

Amy&rosa in a car for four hours? I need to see it

“uncle ray” talks about work so much even his NEPHEW knows who’s who. 1) was kev not there, because no cop talk policy 2) was he EFFUSIVE??

Most of what i’ve learnt from this watching session today is that i’m real hungry why do they keep eating

You know what’s inconspicuous? Two guys sitting in front of windows with massive cameras. Totes invisible

Jake&charles have a roomie breakdown, gina&amy have an existential crisis, terry is a mom and rosa&holt are ...there

Man i do NOT want to shag in my boss’ house, i mean rosa’s got her own flat, cmon

Kev making bacon smiles on his pancakes totes goes into my kev&holt get baby martin for holidays headcanon (see season one obsessive rewatch)

“this isn’t my first rodeo” jake abt dealing w/ scully >> fits into baby jake shadowing scully for junior cops thingy (also in s1 obsessive rewatch)

“brothers fight but they’re always there for each other” says the only child (fun fact, only jake and gina are only kids (except for maybe terry cause i can’t remember))

2:12

I love the amy drunkenness scale

A fondue stick in a fanny pack sounds like a disaster waiting to happen

Beachhouse w/ the boss episode

Amy&gina&terry get paired up lots

Why didn’t they turn the holt party into a movie night??

Au where boyle is a seduction coach

Gina turned not-evil for a second

2:13

Amy’s def of partner : bounce ideas, eat street meat & stake out, burnt coffee

Jake hasnt been to the dentist in seven years (at this point i’m thinking he was kidnapped and doesnt remember his season one dentist trip)

“it’s payback time” to the drug dealer who killed all of jake’s family

Gina’s got two grandmas

Charles want to have a bowling business

How do terry’s biceps have their own biceps???

Holt likes the name todd, didnt he have an ex called todd?

Isn’t yahooanswers dead? How does jake know stuff now?

2:14

If s1 is parenting Jake and teaching Amy independence, is s2 about parenting Amy and bonding with Rosa through evil humour?

Jake tells terry he loves sofia??

Rosa’s enemy marker-hoarder carla biancci in 2nd grade turned bully till grad

Jake tells sofia he loves her

Gina being a dick after saying something true – a trend?

Charles’ dad was a florist and now i want a classic flower shop romance

Sofia breaks up ouchhh

Eww gross wunch kissed holt i need brainbleach

Charles doesnt think his dad loves him?

2:15

Rosa’s parents are “smiley morons & hug freaks”. Did not seem like it in the coming out episode?

Second massive cop lasertag game thingy

Holt confused face implies he never saw titanic

Note to self try to make a blondie sometime

Holt apologises the next day for trying to disqualify gina from pers.test >> did kevin tell him his type didn’t fit him?

Gina thinks holt flirts with her so she’s a wunch but on their side?

2:16

“if u love s/o u’ll remember what they look like” but KEVIN HAS A PORTRAIT MATE

Oh this is the “i’m sorry you weRE STABBED” episode

I want marvin the geriatric bank robber to be buddies with gina??

Im lowkey upset that kevs buddies with gina tho, he’s not evil enough

Ray talks about jake to random waitresses and his painting teacher

Okay i get it, amy and charles are too simpy, rosa’s too unhinged, we don’t talk about hitchcock and scully, terry’s got his own shit, so that only leaves gina and jake and it cannot be jake, so. Yeah okay gina and kev are buddies

Ray called jake a genius just cause he heard him practice his holt impression, how cute

2:17

Jake’s a creepy girl stalker?? Poor jenny gildenhorn

Rosa has a grandad

Amy plays french horn

Jake answers amy’s proposal with “yes a thousands times yes”

MARCUS DVRs BONES THE HOLTCOZNER BEDROOM WEIRD DVR QUEUE SOLVED EXCEPT WHYS HE IN THEIR ROOM??

2:18

Dickhead peralta shows up, i hate him :(

Holt’s “unsolvable” riddle “There are 12 men on an island. 11 weigh exactly the same amount, but one of them is slightly lighter or heavier. You must figure out which. The island has no escapes, but there is a seesaw. The exciting catch? You can only use it three times.”

Jakes allergic to bees and dickhead knows about it

I’d go on a sudoku cruise too amy

Honestly this riddles fucking easy im so angry

Amy’s right tho, you do 6v6, one side’s heavier, then you divide that one 3v3, one side’s heavier, you do 1v1 and either they’re equal and the last one’s the heaviest or one of them’s already the heaviest

I cannot tell you how infuriated i get everytime im reminded of dickhead peralta’s later character arc.

2:19

s/o framing jake as druggie

spoiler its sofias druggie bossman

holt : “sarcasm the cowards lie” ouch

oh yeah also terry and holt missed ginas dance thing and shes upset

and also charles gotta work with the two giant babies

2:20

Jakes unhealthy obsession with his job episode 40 of 40

Rosa&holt scheming to avoid personal chats, relatable

Rosas dads a teacher, two sisters

2:21

Jake and amy have a crush on the same guy till the guy likes amy and jake likes amy more

Terrys looking into a new job and boyle gina holt get weird about it

2:22

Jakes on a treasure hunt, terry’s looking into a school for his kids again?

Holt v wunch 1946th time

Bingpot

The velvet thunder is probs thor’s more dramatic second cousin

2:23

Wunch got holt transfered sad face

Rosa’s bday

Wunch being incredibly sexual-harrassy again

Rosa likes gilmore girls

Weird sex thing from wunch again geez

Rayray does the robot yay. Dude was there a cancel-scare?

[worldwright]

good evening

im exhausted, if i fall i wont try to get up. probab ly depression jsut killed all willl to live in me, jsut will to die left, have negative amount energy

want to be outt hell l right now, don'tt want to be tomorrwo, parents come back home

legs wobbly when walked back hoem after therapy, if not for crtuches would have fallen

rest doesnt rest, fucky you depression

have wonderful mroning my friend, sorry if writ blurry rn, dpesn't have energy for anythgin

ughh that sucks :(((( hope sleep will do at least some good <3

decently well along with unpacking, still gotta set up my internet though :') which is probably one of the more frustrating things on the planet

hehehehe theo is mad that I put child locks on the cupboards. no you do Not get to nap on the hair dye sir

....I might have to get foam pads so they don't slam as loud. I can tell he's gonna be annoying

riding a bike on city streets is stressful!! I hope I get better at it lmao

hope you have a chill and restful evening, friend!!

[acid--inside]

I AM GOING SO VERY WILD AND FERAL. Thank you for the good food

If its alright I would like to hear more about. Any vre takes yuo got (on literally anyone you want). Giggle

ok so fun thing abt me is i cant do fatal or else i have an episode (hallucinate people coming into my house to kill me) so. soft stuff only. :3c

i... thiunk the c/ o/g/s should be stupidly hugelarge in general so they all theoretically CAN. its more of if they WOULD. (all could be pred to a to/on, but if they're small enough could be prey to another c/ o/g)

uh. undercut bc long.!!! (re/gi/on/al ma/na/ge/rs)

i think 🧠 would try to. idk if he's any good at that stuff bc he's one of the smaller ones. and also has no canon mouth. for funny purposes i think it would end with him just getting really pissed off and then going "I CAN BUT NOW IM NOT GONNA!"

🔔can. and he will. he's my snake friend (i see him like a big boa constrictor) and i do have like. genuine lore about the snake instinctss. he was raised like a snake el/sa. so he like. would/could never until he gives in and/or is convinced to give it a shot.

📺no. he dgaf actually. no thank you. he could but he doesnt feel like it/doesnt see any appeal. thanks for considering him tho.

🛻(yes this is the stupid speedy boy's emoji) also can. he does i think. but only ever to 🔥. (and 🔥is just prey not a pred, at least not to him. look i see 🛻 as an actual truck in my mind)

🦆he'd try to do it as a joke but he can't so he just kinda. slobbers on you. also would get distracted and end up kissing you a lot.

🌲yah. he can + will. tee bee aych i think non-romantic safe/soft w/ him and ⛓️could be sweet. protect your brother :) (NOT ROMANTIC!!!! THEYRE BASICALLY HUGGING)

🌑sorry hes too little. also probably would not. i dont see him being too big of a fan of either orientation either. (a mix of no interest + would be like. prey exclusively and doesnt want that)

🛰️i. thiunk they could go either way. i habe my own bag of worms abt these freaks. all would have their own preferences tho. i think its funny if N didnt gaf. keep that shit away from me and let me cook.

⛈️ya. mean lawyer who keeps trying to eat the competition/anyone who wins against her. she'd be more mean abt it but also has to spit them out. tiny enough to be prey to other employees tho.

📜(its that stupid old man there wanst an emoji for him) eh. he's. he also dgaf. no interest. thinks its also stupid to do regardless.

⚔️UH HUH. another big mean lady who eats people she doesnt like. would absolutely throw a fit if anyone else ate her though. (literally only 🔔 is big enough to reliably eat other coworkers. and she hates him. idk why.

☎️sure. i think she's done it before. no longer has interest. that was something she looks back on like it was an embarrassing teenage phase (it totally was)

🔥also yes, he has fun w/ it. pred to most to/ons and cool abt it. prey to his BF. also cool abt it. also i think he'd be stupid chill about it, just kinda. on his phone in there.

🦉SO EEPY. probably would do either orientation (pred/prey) but sleeps the whole fucking time. if you like hyper prey do not engage they will lie to you. you like preds who tease? good fucking luck he immediately takes a nap

🎹ABSOLUTELY A PRED. more than happy to chow down on any randos who ask politely. but only if you ask politely. kinda the epitome of "yum im so full of quarters yum" so he like. isnt some people's first choice bc of that.

⛓️yuh. i will break the mold and say. while i think he COULD be a pred, he prefers to be prey. its like a full body hug, and a warm weighted blanket. he finds it soothing to have the warmth + pressure and also have no responsibility until he's back in his office. so. he would like to take a nap in there. would pair best w/ 🦉for that reason but he's too big/distrusting of himself around others bc of the ov/er/ri/de.

[rippeds0cks]

3/4/2024

I have been weird lately. Some days ill be doing great then other days ill be as worse as ive ever been. These last couple days have been bad. Ive been so bad mentally that ive had to stop whatever im doing (eating, watching a movie, working out, playing elden ring) and just sit there and stare off into nothing. I zoned out entirely when i was driving yesterday. Ended up going 75 in a 45 and had to rush a break when i zoned back in so i didnt slam into the back of the car in front of me. Cant have that become a habit since im gonna be driving a lot soon. Buying a gun soon. Not for suicide or anything i need it for bears n such since im gonna be camping in the middle of national parks a lot. I havent slept well in weeks. Every night for the last couple nights ive been as close to tears as ive been in recent memory. I get really emotional laying here n my right eye will be teary but my left eye will not. I wonder if my tear duct is damaged in any kinda way since thats the side closest to my head injury. It shouldnt be since thats my better eye. Back when i got a cut on my left eyelid i was essentially blind for those couple days it took for the swelling to go down since my right eye is essentially useless. That reminds me, my dad is slowly catching onto how bad my health is. He made the observation “you might have something wrong with your depth perception cause you get really close to the cars in front of you when you drive” and i just went “haha yeah” when in reality my depth perception mostly went when i was like a very early 19 and i just got used to it. Fighting made me able to “feel” the distance between me and everything around me but that goes out the window when im operating a machine like a car. Ill get used to it i guess. Maybe start wearing my glasses.

I think that on this trip ill make the decision about reaching out to my ex. I think that if i get all the way to vegas and still think about her ill reach out for closure. Thatll be a while tho. Maybe well over a year. I dont know. Ive just completely given up any delusion of her contacting me. If contact is to be made itll be made by me. I just cant stop thinking about her and its already ridiculous so if it continues for so long that by the time i get to vegas i might as well reach out. Worst comes to worst and she loses her mind/gets a restraining order n i cant firefight anymore i can just kill myself its not a big deal. I just cant keep harboring these emotions forever. I already dont wanna harbor em im just too scared to reach out. It doesnt help that me n benj (mostly benj) bring up our exes a lot so i have to think about her. He says shit sometimes that unlocks memories i didnt know i had and it will make my ass catatonic for the day.

Like once i had a ptsd attack while asleep and i jolted awake and we were napping together and i woke up to her laying on me pulling me as close as possible and it brought my heart rate down and mental state down entirely, i was able to relax and calm down just cause she was there. She probably doesnt remember it since when i jolted awake she was mostly still asleep, just doing a slurred half awake “do u have to pee” to which i just said no n we both went back to bed.

I waa gonna type out another memory thats been replaying in my head where she lays with me as i was having full body convulsions and i was in some of the most pain i have ever been in. Rubbing my back and holding my hand. I was gonna type it all out in detail but im already shaking and crying out of one eye lol. No snot or anything tho so i dont know if this qualifies as crying.

Anyways i would give anything to be able to experience that again. The first and only person to ever love me and things went so horribly wrong. Both of our faults. I take the vast majority of the blame though. She takes the blame towards the end but the rest of it is my fault.

Anyways

[junipeach]

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