#im just bitching- dont mind me 😭

[skyburger]

"fnaf is the scariest game ever" "no its silent hill" "well i think its resident evil" everyone shut up!!!!!! youre all wrong. its actually zack & wiki quest for barbaros' treasure (on the nintendo wii) but only the level "keeper of the ice". that level scared me so bad as a kid and you can tell because its the only individual level i remember the name of off the top of my head. like there is nothing scarier than a) being chased and b) being on a time limit. and you know what this level has? BOTH OF THOSE. this level is still scary to me im like AHHHHH!!!! and then i die

[thedragonemperess]

Episode 22 of the Vampire Diaries and I'm looking for a filler episode. Where is the filler episode. This is episode 22 of Season 1 and I am in dire need of a filler episode. These characters are great, I love seeing them interact, I want a little bit less of the rapid fire plot progression in which nothing gets the time to sit in itself or grow. How high is the bidding for a filler episode. I am desperately searching for a filler episode. Can someone please get me a filler episo-

.....What's that?

............There is no filler episode?

............................................

Well, fuck me.

[cerealmonster15]

jesus christ like i only finished the sumeru story like a few months ago but i already forgot your literal first intro to kaveh is a scene of several minutes of him and alhaitham fully bitching at each other

[bibleofficial]

went to the beach w kp & 4 other indian friends & 3 of us had NEVER surfed before girl WHEW it’s SO fun literally only 20quid to rent a wetsuit & board & i fucking smashed my toes on the sand so much, but also we 1) got the wrong tickets so we got off 1 stop early 2) went to find a bus & the bus that was supposed to be 15 min turned into an HOUR 3) on our way to find a bus back everyone’s phones are dying or dead bc it took us 3hrs longer to get there, cigarettes are out 4) all of the shops in town are closed & the town seems to have ONLY a tesco extra & 1 off license that sells a PACK FOR 15.65 A PACK WHICH IS FUCKING CRIMINAL ITS CHEAPER TO BUY IT FROM TESCO ARE U INSANE 5) the bus back to the other town kept skipping us bc the bus stop wasn’t the ACTUAL bus stop - i had 1 bowl since literally 11a & we got back at fucking 11p 😭😭😭

[mobblespsycho100]

manipulative whore eyes <33 hes so tism

[ID: A panel from the Dungeon Meshi Manga, chapter 35. Kabru introduces himself to Laios while smiling. Laios glances at him and Toshiro is there too. Kabru says, "Its good to meet you... You're Laios, arent you? My name is Kabru."

Hes saur sillay

[caruliaa]

cant stop thinking abt how fucking good puss and boots the last wish is. since its out on streaming in the states i can actually watch it using my bff soap2day so honestly babes i might rewatch it even though i just saw it 😭😭😭

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

experimenting w/ blood colors, b/c red blood would not stand out on this hoe’s already red-as-hell design

[todayisafridaynight]

Isn't It Something though.............. I've always considered it a deliberate irony that he's always had his status as Arakawa's "only" son to fall back on (as Masato, anyway), and it was even his Get Out Of Jail Free card, but it was ultimately not the whole truth and they all more or less knew it. And there's also something there about the resources and support that should've "rightfully" been Ichiban's too, but that he was denied because Jo refused to tell the truth.

I can't quite articulate it right now but I wouldn't say you were jumping the gun in taking note of it! I do think it's supposed to be of note, to throw people off the scent on the first playthrough and raise eyebrows on subsequent playthroughs.

Also I'm 20 minutes into First Penguin (I started like, this time yesterday) and literally so evil to make Tsutsumi sing the high note when they were harmonizing their names 😭😭😭 he hates singing because he doesn't think he sounds good so it's incredibly rare for him to sing even when he's cast in musicals... LOVE THE PROTAG THOUGH. QUEEN

it really is just some Butterly Effect shit its genuinely bonkers that because arakawa opened the wrong locker, All Of This happened. question as old as time What Would've Happened If He Opened The Right One but god What If right..

you've probably finished the ep at this point since i take nine years to respond to things BUT AW JLKAJ THAT'S SO UNFORTUNATE FOR HIM NOOOO. LIKE RELATABLE BUT NOOOOOOO ESPECIALLY GIVING HIM THE HIGH NOTE if i may drop the smallest of spoilers this is at least the only time he has to sing iirc but honestly he sounded right fine 😭 AND IM GLAD YOU LIKE IWASAKI SO FAR GENUINELY one of the neatest protags of all time i love her so much

[cherry-treelane]

I forgot how bad Monica pisses me off oh my goodness

[thewispsings]

Hi can u do a smau with max where reader is a doc for f1 and when max unfortunately has an accident she is one of the first responders(dont know what they are called!!!) And he just stares at her and its like love at first sight for him(he fell first and HARDER!!!!!) and everyone online could see it as well

Some teasing from other drivers as well

And proceed how u deem fit

Loved the sister in law one!!!!!!!

doctor lady | max verstappen

pairing: max verstappen x doctor!reader

summary: max never thought he would be happy getting a injury that puts him out of racing for three months, but when he has a doctor like you? he can’t help but be a little happy.

liked by landonorris, yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 816,074 others!

maxverstappen1: we are allllm good guys!!!!!!!!!!!!! we are aliveee wnd well babybyvy 🤘AND me and lanHOE (becuare he id a BOE) got a pretty doctory lady 🥰🥰🥰 she’s sooooooooioiiooooo nice and prety AND she made us NOT feel pain so we love her 😍😍😍😍😍

view comments below!

user1: they got him on those GOOD painkillers

user2: we’ve seen drunk max, but drugged max? a whole new level

landonorris: guy our lady doctor is soilioooooooooo prety 😍

maxverstappen1: HEY NO 😡😡 i alreadys called dibs!!!!!! she’s MY prety doctor lady. she game ME her instagran and i’m takin HER on a date!

yourusername: if my supervisor is reading this, i gave him my instagram and agreed going on a date with him because he was being difficult, started crying, and wouldn’t take his medication until i did.

maxverstappen1: HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL LOVE

user2: started crying??? max verstappen started crying???

user3: pain meds do that to you 🤕

user4: i need a video of that right now

user5: he is out of IT. i can’t wait till he wakes up and realizes what he’s done

charles_leclerc: happy you’re okay mate!

maxverstappen1: oh charles i have missed you dearly 🥰🥰 so happy you got 1st!!!!!!!

charles_leclerc: thank you max ❤️

maxverstappen1: i can wait for you to meet my future wife!!!!!!!! you’ll love her! she saved me life ❤️

charles_leclerc: someone please take his phone away

maxverstappen1: NOOOOO I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY FUTURE WIFR 😡

user6: max, charles is just trying to save you from the embarrassment

user7: when he sobers up, he either won’t give a shit and continue OR he’ll be so embarrassed and he’ll never show his face again

yourusername: everyone, please don’t pay mind to max, he is under very heavy drugs, and is not in a right state of mind. we have tried confiscating his phone, but he starts kicking and becomes difficult.

user8: i know this girl is scared for her job 😭

user9: having max as a drugged out patient seems horrible

user10: literal nightmare material

maxverstappen1: MYYY LOVVER HELLO

user11: good lord #freeyn

danielricciardo: i would say, i hope you recover, but i have a feeling you don’t want to recover?

maxverstappen1: I DONTTTT I NEVER EANT TO RECIVER BECAUSE THAT MEANS NOT SEEING MY BEAUTIFUL LADY DOCTOR SO NO!!! NO RECOVERY FOR ME

danielricciardo: screenshotting all of this for later 🤣

landonorris: i’m hungry, maxie can you tell lady doctor i’m hungry?

yourusername: you can talk to me lando. i’ll go get you something.

landonorris: NOOOO I CABR TALK TO THE LADY DOCTOR MAX SAID I CANT AND HE DAID IF I DID HESS GOING TO KILL ME AND I DONT WANT TO BE KILLED AHHHH

maxverstappen1: YOU FONT GET TO TALK TO MY PRETTY DOCTOR LADY IM GOING TO JILL YLY LANDO

user12: this is genuinely like the funniest shit ever 😭

user13: can’t believe in 10 years from now we’re going to look back at this and laugh

user14: 10 years?? bitch im LAUGHING RIGHT NOW

redbullracing; speedy recovery max! 💓

maxverstappen1: NOOOO NO SPEEDY RECOVERY NO RECOVERY FOR MAX

user15: head injury so bad he lost his love for racing

user16: on a serious note, his injury’s did seem pretty bad, especially his leg…

user17: honestly i’d be surprised if he returned to racing immediately

landonorris: maxie and me got separated :(((( 😞☹️😕😭🥺 lady doctor is is MEAN

yourusername: you two were arguing and disturbing the other patients.

maxverstappen1: DONT CALL MY LADY DOTCIT MEAN!!!!

user18: went from being worried to laughing out loud because wtf is this??

user27; lando and max crashing was NOT on my 2024 bingo card

user28: f1 having a big crash was not on MY 2024 bingo card

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername, landonorris, 619,027 others!

redbullracing: unfortunately, due to last weeks crash regarding lando norris and max verstappen. max has been forced to take a three month leave of absence from racing, as he has severely fractured his lower leg. he has immediately started physical therapy, let’s wish him a speedy recovery ❤️‍🩹

view comments below!

maxverstappen1: what a shame 😕 truly saddened by this outcome 😞

user19: what??

landonorris: take a wild guess as to who’s going to be his doctor for three months?

user20: PRETTY LADY DOCTOR???

maxverstappen1: maybe 🥰

user21: we’ve entered the era where max does not gaf about racing as long as he gets to see yn

user22: does this mean he’s not winning the wdc?

user23: he still can, he just has to win basically every race after the 3 months, which isn’t exactly impossible for him

charles_leclerc; so sad for max!

user24: your ass does not feel sad for max 😭

user25: he has his eyes on the wdc!!!

user26: HE ACTUALLY HAS A CHANCE TO WIN BOW

maxverstappen1: @/yourusername, ready to take care of me for 3 months :D

yourusername: no

maxverstappen1: 😕

user27: HAHAHA

danielricciardo: LOSER

landonorris: HAHAH GET REJECTED

charles_leclerc: EMBARRASSING

oscarpiastri: that hurt to read

maxverstappen1: SHUT UP WHO ASKED YOU

user28: tbh i wouldn’t be excited to have max as a patient for 3 whole months with how he acted that night in the emergency room

user29: that man is secretly crazy and you can’t convince me otherwise

user30: i love how max is clearly like head over heels for yn, but she can’t date him because he’s her patient 😭

user31: she can’t?

user30: NO!!! that’s unethical, she can date him after the 3 months but not during

user32: that not being common knowledge to some people is concerning…

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, yourusername, and 917,027 others!

maxverstappen1: day one of physical therapy a success ✅

view comments below!

landonorris: so, how many times did she reject you today?

maxverstappen1: ZERO.

yourusername: 10**

landonorris: TENN??????

maxverstappen1: i just don’t understand why she won’t say yes 😞

yourusername: because it’s severely unethical and will get me fired

maxverstappen1: so what i’m hearing is that you’ll go out with me when i’m no longer your patient?

user33: let the countdown begin

charles_leclerc: missed you at the race today!

maxverstappen1: no you didn’t

charles_leclerc: no i didn’t! MAX IT FEELS SO GOOD TOO WIN

maxverstappen1: yeah i KNOW.

yourusername: don’t worry charles, he was watching you during his whole therapy session, and cheered so loudly when you won that we got complains from patients on the other side of the building!

charles_leclerc: I KNEW IT!!!

maxverstappen1: you said you wouldn’t tell anyone yn 😕

user34: it’s so…unsettling seeing max be so publicly affectionate

user35: RIGHT?? like why is he so open about this??

user36: he has no shame…

yourusername: i told you to stop taking pictures of me while i’m working

maxverstappen1: but you just look sooooo pretty

danielricciardo: she doesn’t want you bro

maxverstappen1: SHUT UP

user37: she’s stronger then me, because if i had max verstappen down bad like that?

user38: no literally, i would’ve made him mine the same day we met

user39: why is max posting regular pictures?? it’s weird

user40: he’s trying to impress yn

user39: well he’s going about it all wrong. because these photos just don’t match?? cat, hospital, and then a crappy photo of a therapy room?? horrible horrible HORRIBLE

user41: damn…

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 619,017 others!

maxverstappen1: 2 months down…1 more to go!

view comments below!

user42: HE IS COUNTING DOWN

user43: WE KNEW IT!!!

landonorris: i can’t belive you tricked me into going to a photo shoot for you

maxverstappen1: that is not what happened.

landonorris: you told me we were going golfing, next thing i know i’m watching you get your picture taken like 92884 times 😑

maxverstappen1: just say your jealous

landonorris: OF WHAT???

user44: he’s getting better at being aesthetic

user45: he’s learning!!

user46: are we all going to skip past the fact that max, a hater of everything, had a whole as photo shoot for his instagram?????

maxverstappen1: yn told me i should post more photos of myself for the instagram

user47: so you had a whole photo shoot????

maxverstappen1: yes

user48: oh he’s in love

danielricciardo: looking good max 😍

maxverstappen1; thank you for the support daniel!

landonorris: was that a dig to me?

maxverstappen1: yes.

landonorris: I WAS EXPECTING GOLF

yourusername: looking good max

maxverstappen1: really??? you really think so??

yourusername: yes (with the upmost professionalism)

maxverstappen1: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

user49: why did max just add “yn thinks i look good 🥰” to his bio

user50: LMAOO I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING???

user49: no 😭 he very literally put “yn thinks i look good 🥰” in his bio

user51: why does it look like max is in the doctor training room?

maxverstappen1: because i am!!

user51: THEY LET YOU IN THERE????

yourusername: my boss is a huge f1 fan. so he lets max do whatever he wants 🙄

user51: i’m sorry that’s so funny 😭

user52: does max just follow her around all day??

yourusername: pretty much, yeah

user53: you have no idea how much i want to be you

charles_leclerc: wow max looking good

maxverstappen1: thank you charles

charles_leclerc: aren’t you going to put “charles thinks i look good” in your bio?

maxverstappen1: i don’t care about you enough for that

user54: DAMN THATS COLD

user55: those cats are so cute 🥺

. . .

. . .

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 914,078 others!

maxverstappen1: guys i did!!!! i got a date with the pretty doctor lady 🥰🥰

view comments below!

user56: when he falls first and harder >>

user57; this man is literally obsessed with yn it’s insane

landonorris: beat me too it

landonorris: THIS IS A JOKE PLEASE DONT KILL ME

maxverstappen1: nothing funny. i didn’t laugh. you aren’t funny.

landonorris: 😕

user58: WE CHEERED!!!

user59: i still think it would be funny if she just said no even after the 3 months

yourusername; i thought about it, but he’s rich and pretty so 🤷‍♀️

maxverstappen1: pretty :D

user60: she’s so pretty

maxverstappen1: like i’ve been SAYING.

user61: i’ve never seen a man so down bad before

user62: it’s unnerving

user63: a doctor, pretty, and funny?? max hit the jackpot

user64: they both hit the jackpot 😒 it pisses me off

user65: LMAO WHY??

user64: seeing people live the life i want makes me unexplainably mad

danielricciardo: you’re joking right? she’s not actually dating you?

maxverstappen1: what’s that supposed to mean

danielricciardo: it means she’s too good for you @/yourusername are you being held hostage

yourusername; yes

danielricciardo: OH I KNEW IT. DONT WORRY HELP IS ON THE WAY

maxverstappen1: you guys are mean.

yourusername: this means i can never be your doctor again

maxverstappen1: what if once day, on my way home i crash, and its a big crash with smoke and fire, and i get taken to the hospital but i refuse to let anyone touch me that isn’t you, would you still not help me?

yourusername: there’s just something so undiagnosed about you

user65: HAHAHA

user66: max is just so unexplainable

charles_leclerc: are my eyes deceiving me or did she finally say yes 

maxverstappen1: SHE SAID YES

charles_leclerc: OH YEAH OH YEAH I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT BUDDY

maxverstappen1: OH YEAH OH YEAH

user67: my lestappen heart 💔

. . .

notes: enjoy this while i spend the rest of my night learning how to play the sims

thank you for requesting!!

[sheyfu]

in sleepless nights, i find solitude in you

FEATURING itoshi sae, itoshi rin, oliver aiku, chigiri hyoma, mikage reo, nagi seishiro, and shoei barou

CW oliver aiku

SYNOPSIS what they like to do on sleepless nights with you

NOTE these are hcs and are not reflective of their characters!

⋆˚✿˖° itoshi sae - hearing you talk about your day

- a mundane, yet intimate moment between you two - he finds it so endearing when you talk about your day and get so passionate about it too - he just loves hearing your voice; the way you speak, the way your voice just sliiightly raises when you’re telling him about some person you abhor (big boy word), and the way you ask him for his thoughts on something you’re yapping about makes him feel like the luckiest guy in the whole world - you both end up not sleeping D: but it’s okay, he’s not complaining because it’s you

⋆˚✿˖° itoshi rin - binge watching horror movies

- you hate him for this. - but at the same time, you love it because he holds you close to him - he knows you’re scared, especially when it’s ass o’clock in the evening (more like morning) and your room’s only source of light is the television. so he holds you tight :D - he has the urge to make fun of you because you’re oh so scared, but he stops himself from doing so because he loves holding you close

⋆˚✿˖° oliver aiku - holding you close to him (in his words, spooning)

- surprisingly, he’s not horny  - i guess bc of practice, he’s tired and he just wants to de-stress and go on about his night without tiring himself out more, you included (LMAO NOT ME SPEAKING LIKE IM GANG W GREEN GALLAGHER) - so he holds you close :D  - and its not like the hold you close and talk about stuff type either - literally the hold you close and sit in silence type with occasional kisses from him :D 

⋆˚✿˖° chigiri hyoma - gossip (okay so some of you probably don't tolerate gossip but gossip culture has been SUUUUCH a big part of my life that i cant help but associate it w chigiri im so sorry you can bitch slap me for this LMAOAOAO ANWYAYS)

- he loves gossiping. he usually has THE ggoat (greatest gossip of all time) - this usually ranges from people he works closely with, or people he knows but that person doesn't know him but for some reason the news reached him LMAOAAOA  - for some reason, he also has visual references??? like if theyre related to texting he has screenshots of their convo???? if irl, he has pictures????? YOU DONT KNOW HOW HE GETS THOSE 😭😭 (based this hc off my friend who has everything for some reason 😭😭) - and most of the time theyre literally so mind-boggling you have to stop him and walk around the room to calm your beating heart down - he also loves using a soundboard while doing so LMOAOAOAO

⋆˚✿˖° mikage reo - slow dancing

- ah yes. the typical rich boy activities. - but like even if he wasnt born in that class (GANG DONT TWIST MY WORDS IM NOT A CLASSIST WLANSISOS), he'd most likely still love doing this (idk theres smth about him that js makes me think he would love dancing) - in the kitchen, dimmed lights, his hands on your waist, yours on his shoulders, herb alpert playing in the background, and his lips on your forehead  - im leaving it at that :))

⋆˚✿˖° nagi seishiro - playing roblox

- typical nagi.  - what roblox games you ask? dress to impress. - he likes playing simple games at night. and those simple games dont include dress to impress :)) - buuuut. he still plays it because the satisfaction he gets from beating 12 year olds outweigh the stress he gets from said 12 year olds - he loves to duo with you - literally caseoh just more nonchalant - he also likes to play those 2 player tycoons :DD

⋆˚✿˖° shoei barou - baking

- his love language is quality time  - and what’s more quality than baking time >:D - hes not someone for consuming sugar at ass o’clock. but he’ll tolerate it bc it makes you happy :DD  - he has those #probakingskillz bc he used to bake TONS of stuff with and for his sisters (HE ALSO BAKES THEIR GIRL SCOUT COOKIES GRAHHHHHHHH) - you also make him wear those silly pink frilly aprons (you have matching aprons but instead of yours being pink and frilly its literally the opposite) 

© sheyfu on tumblr

[777sturn]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝜗𝜚 matt sturniolo

𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉. . . you and matt were each other’s but not actually each others. you two would hook up and have sex to forget about other talking stages you guys had if they didn’t go well

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 dom!matt x fem!reader

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈(𝒔) smut, mature language, fingering (f receiving), oral (f receiving), touch starved, boob play, pet names (baby/princess)

𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓’𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 hi baes PLS BARE W ME THIS IS MY FIRST SMUT 😭 anyways this is inspired by the song the hills by the weeknd I LOVE U ALL STAY FREAKY AND ENJOY 😛

i just fucked two bitches ‘fore i saw you

“fuck i missed you,” matt muttered as soon as you entered the passenger seat.

“i missed you too,” you say turning to him and resting your elbow on the middle console.

“you need help forgetting again?” he gently cupped your face as a slight smirk appeared on his face.

“yeah,” you mumble, “you?”

he nods, “i fucked two bitches before you. they sucked.”

“slut.” you joke, rolling your eyes.

he chuckles lowly, “you were in my mind the whole time. dont worry.”

he adjusted the seat by leaning it back slightly. matt then pats his gray sweats, signaling you to sit on his lap, “let me help you forget that asshole.” he said, his voice raspy.

with no hesitation, you carefully climbed over the middle console to make it to his lap. his hands found their way to your waist, you hiss at the cooling effect of the silver rings that adorned on his fingers when he met your warm skin.

you instantly lean in to bring your lips to his with need and crave. as your hands travel up the back of his neck to his hair, he groans softly, sending a shiver down your spine. matt’s tongue darts out swiping your bottom lip, seeking entry. you tilt your head as you open your mouth slightly allowing him to explore your tastes.

as time went on, the kiss got sloppier and rougher. you grab a fistful of his hair and slowly start to roll your hips on his hard cock. he groaned once again, breaking the kiss to continue the hot kisses along your jawline all the way down to your neck. a soft moan escapes your lips as he sucked and bit the sensitive skin, soothing it with his tongue after being rough. you tilt your head back giving him more access to mark you up.

“fuck,” you whisper, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as he continued.

“shh,” matt whispers against your neck. his hands traveled down to the hem of your tank top to slowly lift it up. he pulls away for a quick second as his eyes met your perky, round tits. his eyes sparkle with hunger while his swollen lips parted slightly.

“baby,” he murmurs, “you’re fucking gorgeous.” he presses another soft gentle kiss on your neck before bringing his hands to your breasts, slowly massaging them.

you moan again as you tugged on matt’s hair, only resulting him to pinch your nipples. he then leans closer to bring his mouth to them. he rolled your peaked nipple in between his teeth as his hand continued to caress the other one. he flicked your nipple with his tongue, coating it with saliva before giving the same attention to your other one.

“christ,” you whimper, pulling onto his hair more as he went to leave hickies on the top of your breasts.

his hands trailed down once again to the waistband of your denim mini skirt before traveling under the pleats where his fingers were met with the lace of your panties. he pulls away and smirks, “they’re the red ones, yeah?”

“just for you.” you whisper.

he hums in response before slipping his fingers in them, teasing your swollen clit, “wet already?” he mocks, continuing to rub slowly.

you roll your eyes leaning back against the steering wheel, “matt, don’t fucking tease me.”

he shakes his head and scoffs, continuing to circle against your pussy, “i’ll do what i want.” he mumbles, pressing his fingers harder in you.

a moan slips out of you as you throw your head back. he grinned at your reaction, pumping quicker.

“holy fuck!” you cry out.

“im the only one who makes you feel good, huh?” he mocked, continuing the pace.

“yes matt.” you whimper, your nails digging into the back of his neck.

he pulls his fingers out for a second before adjusting the seat lower so he could get a better view of your pussy, “come on,” he mumbles, “move and lay down.”

“it’s cramped.” you mutter.

“dont be a brat.” he rolls his eyes, moving you out of the way. the new position was that you were laying down on the driver’s seat as he was hovering you.

his hands were planted on your thighs as he lowered down his head to your wet clit. already being familiar with your sensitive spot from previous hook ups, he teased it by flattening his tongue against it, slowly circling around the area.

“matt,” you moan out once again, enjoying the pleasure he gave you.

his stubble barely brushed against your pussy as he sucked and explored, enjoying your taste more and more. the way he continued to explore your folds and his nose gently nudging you as he ate you out like it was the last time ever.

“close princess?” he mumbles, his mouth still on your clit.

“yes.” you whimper, running yours hands down your face.

“go baby.” matt groaned, continuing to lap his tongue against you getting every single taste of your juices, “you taste so fucking good.” he praised.

he pulls away, out of breath as he ran his fingers through his messy hair. the smirk he always had made a return and was plastered on his face, “happy to help you forget.”

[floofeh-purpi]

Getting isekai'd?! (Part 2)

Sagau! Genshin Fatui x Gn! Reader (ft. Your bsf)

Warnings: Im too lazy to put anything here rn...

『Beloved fluffball/s mentioned below! 💜』

@justmare

◇

You can tell me if you wanna be tagged in the next part :)

Sidenote: Someone please teach me how links wpek in tumblr plesae 🤠

Part 1 here :>

★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆

The harbingers we're having a meeting with, well, y'know... the usual and boring ass stuff with the Tsaritsa. That is until they were interrupted by a group of fatui agents, who panted as they almost unintentionally broke the door.

"P-pardon us for the interruption. Y-your Majesty." A female agent stammered out. "B-but this is... urgent."

*Insert them telling their surperiors that they spotted someone (you ofc) that looked like their Grace and that the person was with another person and a wolf-looking creature (they dont know its your dog ok 😭🤚) *

"Someone that looks like... Our Grace? Are you certain?"

"Yes. Your Majesty."

★

"The jacket's nice..." You awkwardly said out of the blue as d/n happily walked around the snowy terrain, his/her paws making a faint yet satistfying crunch on the snow as he/she walked, with a leash much to the poor doggo's dismay (cus bro this huge baby loves running around without a leash)

"Awh, thanks n/n (nickname)" Your bsf answered in a sing-song tone.

"Remember the time we met bro?" (You call your bsf bro regardless of their gender, they dont mind lol)

"Yeh, lol."

♤ (story of when you guys met cus idk what to put here)

You guys met in around 1st year high school when your teacher said that their is an art competition coming up and everyone is to be partnered up with another student in a different section.

Oh, how faith was feeling generous that day, by making the teacher partner you with y/b/f/n... Though, you had to admit, it was kinda awkward at first...

"Yo."

"Yo."

"So like, whats your name bro? You seem cool."

"Name's y/n."

"Ohmigash nice name. My name's y/b/f/n, wanna be friends?"

"Sure brooo"

Just as when as your new friend tried to extend their arm for a handshake, they may have accidentally spilt some paint with their arm. Oops.

"Oh shitttt..." You cursed in your head.

"Oh nah, we is cooked. 😢"

Yeah yall got a not-so-fun scolding for 2 hours by the trainer.

♤ (end of story lmao)

"Yo, I think d/n is thirsty rn..." Your friend pointed at the panting husky. Poor cutie patootie. You thought before you realizing you didnt bring water with you. "Ah damn, I didnt bring water, we gotta go back now. Sorry bud." You apologized to d/n who was still panting. Give him/her water you little shi-

★

After you guys FINALLY arrived back to your home, you immediatly opened the door and got some water for d/n.

"There y'go, you cutie patootie of a dog." You cooed as you petted d/n, who was drinking water happily.

★

"Where is this... person, you say?" The Captain crossed his arms.

"We last spotted them near a house, sir. They were with someone else and a creature that appeared to be a wolf of sorts."

"Hm~? A house~?" Columbina asked in her soft, sing-song voice.

"Yes mam."

After that the Tsaritsa ordered everyone, the harbingers included (for you simps), to go to this house and see if its actually their creator or nah.

The end.

Sike bitch.

D/n fell asleep on his/her bed. Bruh.

You guys sat down on the couch, an awkward silence could be felt between you, Though it was cutted off by a knock on your door.

"Ima go get it."

"Bruh sure, ima head into my room if you need me." You gave y/b/f/n a thumbs up before going up the stairs. Unaware of the big surprise thats coming to you. Both of you.

☆

Posted: June 28, 2024. 11:48am.

【Part 3】

[bibleofficial]

i’ve been up for 36 hrs ALSKLASKLAKSLASLASKLAK

[mousy-nona]

About the asking for headcannons post, I have a headcannon that Alastor and Velvette are friends and Vox is jelous

From the desk of Alastor, Radio Demon: 

Dear Velvette,

The weather is absolutely smashing today! I was planning on dropping in on Rosie – if you have time, come swing by for a cup or two. Lots of “tea” to share! 

-A.

—-------------

To the desk of Alastor (seriously, what the fuck, A? It’s not the 1900s anymore – stop talking like my grandpa!),

Would love to come to tea. Vox found your letter btdubs. Sorry, didn’t think he and Valentino were going to get it on so early, or I would have moved it. Just letting you know.

He’s giving off real simp vibes, if you ask me. Also, you don’t need to put quotes around tea.

-The Best V

—-------------

VoxHotShot: VELVETTE EXPLAIN YOURSELF

TheBestV: omg stop

MothDaddy: what’s going on?

VoxHotShot: WHAT IS THIS LETTER I FOUND ON YOUR DESK??

TheBestV: i have a life outside of you, k?

VoxHotShot: NOT WITH ALASTOR YOU DONT!!!?!

MothDaddy: stop ignoring me 

VoxHotShot: SHUT UP

TheBestV: shut up

MothDaddy: 😭😭😭

VoxHotShot: Where are you?

VoxHotShot: Are you meeting up with him?

VoxHotShot: Get back here right now

TheBestV: youre not my dad or my boss. Butt out of my biz

VoxHotShot: VELVETTE GET HOME RIGHT NOW!!!

TheBestV: nah im good. seeya bitches at home

VoxHotShot: 😡🤬😱⛓️🗡️💥

—-------------

From the desk of Alastor, Radio Demon: 

Dear Velvette,

Thank you for a wonderful conversation, and yet another fascinating lesson into the minds of you young folk. Yes, I quite agree that Vox displays “simp” behavior, and I enjoyed you calling him “cheugy” in front of Cannibal Colony today. A “big yikes” from me! As always, I look forward to our next little chat. 

Yours truly, 

-A.

[lousypotatoes]

Hi! I have no idea how to request stuff but if you wouldn't mind, would you be able to do a helluva boss Andrealphus x reader? (Im not sure if you write for him or not since he doesn't have much screen time I'm sorry if u dont!) Where Andrealphus is so caught up in his duties that he accidentally neglects his partner and how he would make up for it. Pure fluff! Thank you for your time!!

I can try, but I can't promise it'll be good 😭

Never Again - Andrealphus x GN! Reader

Song Recommendation:

You Are The Reason - Calum Scott

Pt.1

that's supposed to say pt 2 and its not letting me fix it 😭 sorry

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Being married to royalty definitely had it's pros. You had people waiting on you hand and foot, people knew who you were, and you got to shop without worrying too much about the money.

That was one of the best parts.

But being married to royalty also had it's cons. You constantly had people trying to kill you, you had to deal with your husband's bitch sister every time she came over to visit, and your husband got too caught up in his royal duties that he sometimes completely forgot to pay you any attention.

That was the worst part, by far.

Right now, you were currently sitting on your bed, texting your brother in law, Stolas.

You and Stolas were close, confiding to each other about anything and everything, from his feelings towards an imp, to how much the both of you absolutely loathed Stella.

Deciding that you were getting bored of texting, you put your phone down and went searching through the castle, looking for your husband.

After about a few minutes of looking, you found him in his office, typing away on a typewriter. From what you could tell from his body lanuage, he seemed stressed.

"My love are you alright?" you asked softly as you walked into the office.

No answer.

"My love?" you asked a little louder.

Still no answer.

"Andrealphus?"

He still didn't answer.

Letting out a puff of air, you walked over to behind his chair, putting your hands on his shoulders. He didn't say anything, instead easing into your touch.

"Is everything alright?" you asked, lightly massaging his shoulders. "You seem really stressed."

"Yes, I'm fine, dear" he said, resting his head back, meeting your eyes. "I just want to get this letter sent out before the end of the week."

"Who's the letter to?" you asked, continuing your massage.

"Asmodeus,"

"Asmodeus? I thought you didn't like him?"

"I don't, but this is a rather urgent matter," he groaned as you hit a pressure point.

"What's the occasion?" you asked.

"He wants the two of us to meet at his club to discuss his sex toy production,"

"Why would he want to do that exactly?"

"That I don't know, my dear,"

"Do you want me to go with you?" you smirked, leaning down to his hear. "For moral support, of course."

Your husband chuckled. "As much as I want you with me" he started. "I don't want you in that type of environment."

"Aw, you're no fun," you playfully stuck out your tongue. "When do you think you'll be done?"

"Later today,"

"There's a but isn't there?"

"I'm sorry, my love," he said, lightly frowning. "But after I finish this, I have to attend a meeting at my sisters."

"Of course it's at Stella's," you said under your breath, pulling your hands away from your husband. "Is it actually a meeting, or are the two just going to bitch about Stolas the whole time?"

"No, this is an actual meeting," Andrealphus said, getting out of his chair. "The whole Ars Goetia is going to be there, including Stolas."

He gently cupped your face with his hands. The cold touch of his palms and fingertips making a shiver go down your spine and goosebumps appear all over your skin.

"I know you want us to spend more time together, Y/N," he said softly. "I do too, but you know I have duties to attend to."

"Yeah, I know," you grumbled, looking up to meet his blue eyes. "I just wish you didn't have to all the time."

"I know, I know," he said before closing the gap between you two and kissed you softly.

His cold lips were a nice contrast to your warm ones. Even though this was probably the thousandth time the two of you had kissed, it made your heart melt and your knees turn to jelly.

"I'll make it up to you, I promise," he whispered as he pulled away. "How about we go to a nice place for dinner, hm? Would that make up for it?"

"Mmm maybe," you giggled. "Only if you're paying."

"Don't I always, love?" he laughed. "I'll meet you out front at 8, you better be ready by then."

"I will," you said, pecking him on his beak. He blushed. He absolutely loved when you did that. "I'll see you then, handsome."

He removed his hands from your face, kissing you on the forehead. "I can't wait to see how you look, my love."

"Well, I better go start planning my outfit then," you said, walking out of the office. "I love you Andrealphus,"

"I love you too, Y/N,"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

@al-of-the-stars i'm sorry if this wasn't to ur liking i tried my best 😔

i had more planned but i got lazy so im gonna do a part 2 instead 😭

im so excited for the nest episode to come out 🙏

i may or may not have a helluva boss x reader planned out 🤫

stay safe and drink lot of water <33

xoxo, Izzy