#im probably spiralling again

[the-lovely-planet-earth]

Am I annoying? /gen /srs

[ganondoodle]

i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo

[laceadornedvampire]

Hehe what if. How Andrew sees them all

OUGH. THE THEM

i am going to PICK THIS APART (overestimated my analytical ability)

ourgh the haloes…… also luca’s fucked up eye is so cool

also. the bandages over andrews eyes…… the way he blindly trusts the so called angels.. blind following.. urhghghwhhsdhjdjdhhimnormqlimcool

wlso the way emil constantly looks likemhe got the shit kicked out of him is so real (i also cant believe i never realized his eyes were green)

[petruchio]

i do think i also get really in my feelings about how "lame" my life is when its kind of dreary/rainy outside, like yeah girl your life is lame because you don't want to go outside. like i never get down about my boring life when i can go for a two hour walk in the sun after work, it's just when i get home from work and it's gross outside and i don't have any really good indoor hobbies right now that i'm like "i hate my life" but i think honestly its just the weather AND the lack of an obsession with a book series written for children that's getting to me

[little-eye-guy]

my little guys ^_^

[lululeighsworld]

time for oc x canon week!! in addition to wanting to write GunterLeigh sickfic, this was inspired by the day 4 and 6 prompts, 'Caring for one another' and 'An intimate moment' (among other ideas that have been steeping in my brain for these two)!

Read the story on AO3

[mttgwen]

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[rustbeltbabey]

boo hoo sad pity party posting hours LMAO but I rlly truly don't think I will ever be in another relationship again. I don't feel that I will every b desirable or deserving enough, and I don't feel like I will ever even b seen as a guy n idk. I just don't know.

[ancano]

The fun thing about old trauma is you'll go so long without a trigger that you'll think you're over it but then you realize that's not true and the things that trigger it have just reduced in quantity.

[youpricksneverwalk]

Realising how many genuine problems I have because of how irrationally angry i have now been at a couple of people here in my head because they dont like one person on this series of taskmaster who I very much do, even though one of of those people is someone i agree with on most other things.

Which relates, sort of, to one of my general least favourite personal qualities, which is that the more i like/agree with them, or i enjoy someone i dont know know based on relating to them the more judge them when they have opinions i don't agree with or go outside of that, even about the stupidist shit.

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

[possiblytracker]

damn. i really thought i already had the "youre probably never going to see any of your uni friends again after you move out this really and truly is the end of the most vibrant and healthy irl social life youve ever had. and likely will ever have again" breakdown done and shelved but i spent today hanging out with a few friends from my course who are leaving this week to say goodbye and i dont. know how to process it completely. im trying to make the most of everything while im still here but every interaction feels so bittersweet it's genuinely gnawing at me

[pillowenvelopchair]

A quick long-winded analysis on Magdalene's character design

Hi again!! this is me being insane again lol. The character I'm doing an analysis is Magdalene, who is the Tarnished from Still Waters Run Deep that's made by @un-local (hi again... erm... ignore me being crazy about your fic again... for who knows how many times at this point)

This was supposed to be a short analysis but it quickly grew wayyyy out of hand (as all my rambles tend to do, this one just happens to be a bit more coherent... maybe... I hope so at least.)

Magdalene's Character design and my read on it

Character design can be broken down into two groups: Functionality vs Fantasy (see this video by Proko and Knight Zhang, it’s explained wonderfully). And funnily enough, Magdalene and Rogier just happen to be on opposite sides of each other!

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Magdalene, at the start, is someone who is aimless and refuses to follow Grace no matter what. And because of that, she’s covered head to toe with dull neutral colors, and it even reaches her scimitar and shield. The clothing she wears is all practical, there's a reason for why it is all there. 

She fits within the world of Elden Ring seamlessly and blends right in with the rest of the cast of characters we meet during the game. She's just as worn down by the world as most of the NPCs and it shows (those killer eyebags).

Her design doesn’t have any ornate patterns on it. The most pattern-y thing I can think of is her top, but even then it’s a simple design. There isn’t any of that fancy schmancy stuff Rogier has adorned all over his clothes (this guy’s garb…goodness gracious). 

Because of her practicality + her colors, it doesn’t let her stand out from any of the other NPCs in the game. She blends in and it makes her almost invisible. Like she’s nothing of note. 

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(I was supposed to draw something but noooo my motivation didn't allow for it to be fully rendered. It's still stuck in its sketch... So here's Magdalene edited onto the armor itself instead lol)

Her clothes and even her shield and sword are all strictly neutral colors (minus that little colored thing that's attached to the sash on her top... not too sure what that is exactly). Her clothes are all washed-out browns, and even the patterns on her top are also neutral colors. Her scale armor is silver and her gauntlets are all silver too. Hell- even her shield's all neutral colors too. 

Her colors are almost a reflection of nature, albeit an almost dulled-out version of it. Soil, for growth, and wood for strength, are all that Magdalene embodies and displays (with anxiety added for flavor lol). It almost feels weakened.

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While other NPCs have other colors in their design (such as Millicent or Sellen), they sort of show what faction they belong to. But Magdalene? Her colors reflect how she doesn’t quite believe in anything these lands have to offer. She’s not keen on believing in the Order’s fundamentals, in fact, she’s quite skeptical of it all. 

It does, however, show how she is aimless within this big world. With no one to really guide her in this dangerous world she just kind of wanders, avoiding where Grace points.

Interestingly enough, she actually gains color once she kind of sides with Rogier. 

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Rogier's Rapier

When Rogier gives Magdalene his rapier she gets her first vibrant hue. She was given a purpose, and hope for once after coming to the lands between. 

Red and gold are what she was given. 

That red gem in the middle could mean blood, vigor, passion, and even life. It's the core of the Order, literally. Marika had ordered Godfrey to wage war so the Order spread. He had vigor, took the lives of many all in the name of the Order, and was forsaken by it.

Passion is what made the Order what it is today and what is needed to be able to fix its faults.

And what sprouts from the red gem? Gold branches that intertwine with each other. Fluid, curved, a show of adaptability. It's almost like a representation of the Erdtree, how it was able to adapt magic into its Order. It is what the Order was before and what it needs to be now.

When Rogier gives his Rapier to Magdalene her vigor is renewed. She finally has a new hope, a new purpose that she truly believes in. A new goal to give it her all, an escape from a destiny she had never asked for.

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Squares, people, SQUARES!

I noticed that her design has a lot of squares too.

Her top has a boxy shape (the patterns too), and her shield even has squares as a pattern. Even her bangs are square-ish too! It gives it a sort of coherency and a bit of a whisper of her general character.

Squares are traditionally used to show a character that is strong, reliable, and stubborn. They are usually straightforward and have that sort of stability that triangles and circles don't really have.

However, they aren't as flexible as a circle or as cunning as a triangle would be, and blah blah blah you get the gist.

Magdalene perfectly embodies those square characteristics. She is strong, sturdy as an ox, and reliable as hell. But at the same time, she doesn’t quite have that roundness Rogier has. That sort of adaptability he has.

She doesn't really know what's really happening in these lands and (probably) doesn't want to figure out all those fine details that don't really mean much to her (that's Rogier's job).

She may be strong in her beliefs but she doesn’t quite know what to believe in (yet).

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Also... her scavenged Banished Knight's Shield...

A tall medium-sized metal shield. Given to knights who, whether by misfortune or misdeed, were forced to abandon their homes. Most of these knights were sent to the fringes, where they were forced to start anew with only despair for company.

I just think that this is a neat little thing that I found out about while I was looking for anything that had any relevance to Mag's character. :0)

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A quick comparison to Rogier:

Rogier is a very ambitious and driven man (see my last ramble on my thoughts about him– oh and you bet I had so so much to talk about lol). He has all the vibrancy and he really stands out compared to everyone in the Roundtable hold.

Most NPCs kind of look like Magdalene, with their regards of color. They're usually covered with neutral/dulled-out colors but with a splash of hue that shows their purpose/backstory.

But Rogier uses a bunch of colors and he is covered by it, head to toe. Like... look at him!

Another character I can think of who’s also covered head to toe with another color is D with his armor (which is one of the most impractical armor I’ve ever seen. Why are you wearing that D). This gives us an… interesting show of his backstory and his beliefs (I talked a bit about Rogier's colors and how they related to his beliefs over on HERE it's at the very bottom of the whole ramble lol)

But compared to Magdalene? Well, if Rogier's covered by vibrancy, vigor, and life, then she is covered by dullness. Lifeless and purposeless.

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Magdalene's scar:

Her scar is what you notice first about her (or at least it was for me) and it lets her stand out from her invisibility. And since it's on one of her eyes it really makes you focus on it. It shows us that there is a story behind it, how she had a life before coming to the Lands Between.

She was able to survive WOLVES, you guys. WOLVES. A PACK OF THEM. WOLVES.

Even though it's "a very painful acquisition" (Ch. 4) it shows that she was able to survive despite it. It is a show of stubbornness, strength, and vulnerability all in one. You can even consider it a 3-in-1 shampoo if you so desire...

Though, despite all her strength, it does show that she's still human. She's able to be cut, bleed, and scarred like one.

Also, it totally gives her intimidation points too lol. With those eye bags and a nasty scar hoooo boy.

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Anyway, that's it for the ramble!! I hope you guys enjoyed my insanity lol. I had so much fun trying to pry out some stuff from Magdalene's design andI believe that the choices made for her design were purposeful to be able to tell her character :0)

This is probably just me reading too much into it and seeing things I'm imagining, but I still hope I was able to give some more insight into her character

Feel free to add in stuff you've noticed if you want too! This is just what I've noticed

an extra thing but this is totally her lol:

have a good week everyone!!! I'll be going back to drawing hell.

[thetravelerkureno]

crush me with your hatred until I break and can never get up again

[orcelito]

Genuinely this cold makes me want to sink my teeth into something violently and painfully because I feel like I am.never going to be warm again and it's. Bone deep. It's bone deep and I am so deeply unhappy about it