#im putting them into a blender and mixing them together

[r3nblade]

[roocomehome]

hey rooo 😝 4-6 for the editing questions!

gatekeeping this post under the cut, it got lengthy 🤧🤧

4: If you can remember, why did you start editing?

Okay, so this may be a little off topic, but it still talks about editing LMFAO but I started editing mainly cuz one day I saw Minimooberrys renders and was like WOW okay, I want to learn to do THAT and editing, so she was a MASSIVE inspiration for me to start, not only that but I also watch solitasims and lovvvvvveeeddddd her stuff, and wanted to do what she did but mix in editing :) (I think that answers the question, idk I guess like, I've always wanted to edit, but more importantly the want to learn how to render and also do storytelling in TS4 helped motivate me to start editing if that's a better answer)

5: if you caption your edits, what do you decide to put in the caption?

I tend to keep the caption relatively clean (tags are where you get my reaction and shit LMAOO), if you take Leo and Roos posts for example, they're song related, so I'll put some lyrics that I think correlate to them and the scenes placed in the post ("and then you looked right back and caught my stare"), or sometimes scenes not necessarily mentioned in the post, but can be heavily implied or just assume occur ("It's really nice to talk to you, it's really nice to hold your hands," which implies that they talk a lot and that they do hold hands a lot, whether it be romantic or platonic 🤧). There's other situations where I don't have a song (tbf the Reo posts were the first posts where I did put songs agsiabs), like the valentines day prep posts, I just put "valentines day preparations: [sim perspective]", or like in earlier NSB posts, I just put prev / next cuz idfk what to put in the caption. With more recent posts, ive been trying to caption the posts with something related to the characters (like cataleyas drowning post, where it basically lays out the metaphor for the post, which is "too much love from the wrong person").

6: give us a quick breakdown of your editing process

WOW okay, LMAOO well, I'm gonna have to whip out my laptop for this one

For Cas shots: Usually i put cas shots together, so first thing I do is import the images I want to use in a 6000 by 3000 canvas (to preface: I do all my CAS ss in the dimensions 3000 by 3000), and I usually choose from a few mental presets, two headshots and a body shot, two head shots and a half body shot, three body shots, and theres more to list but im not gonna do all that LMFAO so after that, I place them in their positions and then erase the black background (which DOES get tedious when two screenshots sorta overlap and have to make sure theres no black left around the sim), after that incredibly tedious and unnecessarily long process, sometimes I play around with flipping the character around (in the case of two head shots and one body/half body shot, I make the headshots face toward each other, so basically headshot > body shot < headshot- if that makes sense), although that can be placed anywhere in the editing process sometimes I do it earlier on or later on doesnt really matter lmao. Around this point, its just final touches, looking for weird shadows (which is USUALLY more prominent in blender renders, but it can happen), places where shadows look a little too sharp, and cleaning up those spots. For the VERY VERY final touches, I use sharpen and depending on the shot, contrast or saturation, I sometimes use the hue tool to make a certain color brighter or a different color, however I avoid the latter because it creates a weird effect on the picture, the sharpen tool is important for this part, because I tend to make the sharpen effect stronger on closer shots (head shots), or i dont change settings that much for decently faraway shots (half body shots) and i try to make full body shots to not have SUPER strong sharpen, but i tend to go on the lower end for full body shots aisuhdg

For in game screenshots: This is a bit different, so I import the screenshot that I'm using into a 3840 by 2160 canvas (the size the screenshot was taken with), depending on the shot i may add text, the font i use is Walter Turncoat (in most instances, they vary for different posts lmao), I make sure to color the text depending on whos talking or whats going on, a good example is in the catty drowning post and VDAY prep post, I dont do "[character]: [text]", i like the element of figuring out whos speaking (EVEN if it can be frustrating for me), i try not to make it too challenging to figure out, around my level of reading comprehension (/j), so like Catty is pink, calico is yellow, etc etc. I dont use as much sharpen with these shots since theyre clean as is. A lot of my shots like Gifs are pre-planned and thus is a different story, but in short I usually just edit the gif frames as usual and then put them together later. I also have a custom set of black bars to put around my screenshots bc even tho i do use reshades black bars, sometimes bloom or DOF messes with them, and have to put a clean set above them. I dont really know what to say that is quick, I guess for more "complex" shots, like with moodlets or text messages, i just get the assets online and then edit them for myself 😭

and LASTLY, for renders: Trying to keep this short, I usually just do what I do for the aforementioned shots, but like I said in the CAS shots, weird and sharp shadows are more prominent and I just edit those to make them cleaner and then also just add sharpen and make it brighter or more contrast-y idk 🤧

[madychi]

Yknow what, im being prude- here’s a list and plot synopsis of ever single of my Sonic AU’s! I did remove my Sonic EXE AU’s though-

1. Next Era AU: The descendants of three heroes from 1000 years ago answer a calling, and must now train under the guidance an ancient Shadow in order to prepare for the rising of iEgg! A virtual back up of Eggman that’s been lying dormant.

2. Gem AU: A Steven Universe style Sonic AU. All mobians are gems, and humans are still humans. Follow Blue Emerald (Sonic) and his brother Yellow Pearl (Tails) as they escape their homeworld to live on earth

3. Team Swap AU: All the members in each team have been swapped in terms of species and back story. Sonic|Shadow, Tails|Rouge, Kncukles|Omega, Amy|Espio, Big|Vector, Charmy|Cream.

4. Adopted Swap AU: An AU my friend let me adopt. All character species are swapped! But within the teams. Sonic’s a speedy fox, Tails is a smart hoglet, etc etc-

5. Chaos Radiation AU: After Sonic absorbs 6 botched attempts at recreating Chaos Emeralds, he unknowingly unleashes an outbreak. A mix of chaos energy and radiation deforming the bodies and minds of all that are infected with this plague.

6. Raggedy Duo AU: a fun little au where I take Raggedy Ann and Andy but make it sonic! No plot. Just vibes.

7. Project Fusion AU: G.U.N. Never caught and cryogenically imprisoned Shadow. With their Project Shadow missing, the government works to recreate him. No, make a better creation. A true ultimate lifeform. And after years of searching, they find three perfect subject. A fast blue hedgehog, a smart yellow fox, and a rarity.. a red echidna. The three subjects are taken, tested on, and ultimately taken apart for their vital assets and mashed together into Project.Fusion.

8. Storybook AU: A story book adventure in which Sonic travels into the strokes of Greek Mythos! Guided by Hephaestus (Greek mythology Tails), Sonic embarks on a mission to save Mount Olympus from an unknown evil.

9. MOSTH AU: Follows a canon divergence where Sonic and Tails failed against Supreme High Robotnik in AOSTH. Tails is imprisoned and used as a hostage against Tails. A reminder of what he has to loose and what he works for the privilege to see. Sonic agrees to do Robotniks bidding across the multiverse in order to ensure Tails’s wellbeing. Even at the cost of his own health.

10. Abysm AU: Post Sonic Frontiers, Sonic agrees to guard the Master Emerald for Kncukles so he can go see the world. Days turn to weeks, then months, then a whole year. Sonic’s not used to being anchored down for long. And with no word from his friends in months he can’t help but feel… forgotten.

11. Feral AU: take Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles and make em feral creturs. Thats it.

12. Cryptid AU: take Sonic, make him a cryptid. Bada bing bada boom baby-

13. Sonic Saviors AU: A sonic forces rewrite that takes the original story of Sonic Forces, beats it with a bat, shoves it into a blender, and somehow makes it better :]

14. Background AU: an au focusing on background character version of team sonic. Follow Audio the Hedgehog, Myles Tail Preston, and Fists the Porcupine as the drift around the world as self proclaimed adventurers!

15. Prototype AU: take all the prototype versions of the sonic cast and make them the main characters.

16. Project Sonic Speed AU: My first Sonic AU. In a world where Sonic the Hedgehog is created as an agent of chaos for the Eggman empire by Dr Robotnik, the world turns out very different.

17. Mecha Takeover AU: An AU where Mecha Sonic from the scrapnik island comics succeeds in taking over Sonic’s body, and leaving Sonic’s mind in his old trash heap of a body.

18. Rubberhose AU: Take Sonic characters and put them in a Rubberhose 1900’s animated world.

20. Sonic Boom Isekai AU: A au based on a disassociative episode I had where I isekai’d myself into Sonic Boom. Yeah I don’t know either man.

21. (Not) Imposter AU: A newer AU of mine I’ve been cooking. Instead of “creating” surge and kit, Starline decides it would be much easier to simply modify the originals (Sonic and Tails).

22. TMOSTH AU: an AU that follows Barry after TMOSTH as he stays friends with Tails and even becomes a confident rock star!

23. Pony AU: Take sonic characters. Make them Ponies.

24. Sonic Unity AU: an apocalyptic Sonic world witha cyberpunk vibe. Also everyone’s human.

25. Lost World Rewrite AU: a rewrite of Sonic lost world that gives a better story, zeti lore, and it snowballed into me and my friend rewriting all of Sonic canon from Sonic Lost world onward.

26. Sonic Zero 6 AU: a rewrite of Sonic 06 where Sonic and Elise are grow a sibling like bond throughout their adventure to stop Mephilis the Dark from releasing the flames of disaster. However a naive and deceived hedgehog from the future is always interfering.

27. Amnesia Gang AU: A sonic frontiers AU I made before the game came out. Basically no one’s trapped in cyber space, but Sonic and friends do all get amnesia after their crash, their memories imprisoned and locked away in cyberspace.

28. Chaos Guardians AU: an au where as young hoglet and fox cub, Sonic and Tails crash onto Angel Island during a storm. Their plan is beyond repair. And what’s worse, the echidna warrior living there doesn’t seem to like their presence. But they grow to develop a close sister hood and all three of them become guardians of the Master Emerald.

29. Sonic x TMNT AU: it’s in the name. I’m not writing all that rn-

30. Chaos Born AU: An Au where the chaos emerald created Sonic. Their his moms. At some point Sonic got seperated from them, but would reunite with them after Sonic 1.

31. Heart Island AU: An AU for my OC Kora Hedgehog :] cuz I can.

32. Escape Room AU: An AU where TMOSTH is an escape room instead! Yippee!

33. Dirty Hedgie AU: hi took the line from the sonic movie “So what were you expecting? A dirty little hedgehog eating berries and struggling to survive” and said it’s free real estate.

34. Axel & Lilith Adventures AU: an AU focusing on my OC Lilith and my friends OC Axel as they traverse the multiverse via phantom ruby. Only to have an enemy in a being known as Eternal block their way home.

35. Sonic X FNAF AU: … it’s in the title.

36. SB Ebony AU: A sonic boom au for my Sonic boom oc Ebony the merchant made. He’s fun.

37. AI AU: an au I made entirely using AI.

38. Orbed AU: an AU where remnents of dark Gaia remain throughout the world in the shape of crystal orbs. They grant great power and might, but corrupt the user in the process. Sonic must find and destroy them all… and sometimes killing the weilder is a must.

39. Zara Zeti AU: au for my Zeti OC. Cuz I love her.

40. 8-Bit Failure AU: remember the bad end for the 8-but Sonic 2. What if that were canon? Thats what this AU explores.

41. Reunion AU: set 20 years after Sonic Frontiers, everyone reunites to catch up and resume their adventures!

42. Split Souls AU: after his adventure in SATBK, Sonic can’t just leave this world with no King Arthur. So, using a bit of old magic, Nimue is able to split Sonic into two. Two being identical Sonic sharing one split soul. One Sonic leaves to resume life in his world while the other stays to be king. They must reunite once a year on their birthday and become one again in order to stay stable.

43. Boom Chaos Guardian AU: *sobs* I promise I’ll finish the fic for this au I’m trying-

44. Celestial Bodies AU: a mostly scrapped AU where I take Sonic characters and make them celestial bodies. Sonic’s the Sun, Tails is the moon, Knuckles is Mars, Shadow is the Black Comet, etc.

45. Underground Boom AU: An AU in which Sonic Underground and Sonic boom take place in the same universe. Sonic has long since found his mom and helped his triplet siblings take back their kingdom and stop the evil Dr Robotnik. But being a prince isn’t something he was intent on. After a falling out with his family he leaves his kingdom and ditches his prince status to live on a small lone island, befriending a fox, echdna, another hedgehog, and a badger. And he even has himself a low time villain to keep busy with. Dr Eggman!

46. Void AU: Shadow fails to get Sonic to green hill in time. Sonic fades away, ceasing to exist, and yet, refusing to stay gone. Tethered in the void as a mere spirit, he can only watch and spectate the Shatterverse and his home.

47. Villain Boom AU: Take Sonic and Tails from Sonic Boom, make them big time villains with tragic backstory’s.

48. Shattered Self AU: basically my sonic prime fic. Sonic gets shattered along side his world, ending up a hollow husk with his time running out with every move he makes.

49. Gaia Reincarnated: Sonic, but make him Light Gaia reincarnated.

50. Shadow Frontiers: after being sucked into cyberspace, the whole cast ends up trapped. Leaving a certain ultimate life form to go searching a month after everyone seemingly disappears.

Sometimes I think I’m normal…

Other times I remember that I have 56 (and counting) Sonic AU’s with fully fleshed out story’s, character arcs, etc and get humbled real fast-

[1010ll]

do you have any new recipes that you've learned recently? i remember you wrote something a while ago about carbonara and i tried it out for myself it was really fun!!

i love this 😭 im gonna write way too much idec! something that has changed since that post: my kitchen is worse. i have a horrible combi oven which has resulted in me accidentally eating raw chicken, because it had been in there for more than 2 hours at supposedly 230 °C and i was really hungry and thought it HAD to be done by then. also i have less time and less money lol. it has made me a bit sad, and less motivated to cook nice things but i also love food! which means these tips/recipes are gonna reflect that and might seem a bit dull but probably also relatable for a lot of people.   i’ve definitely made spaghetti carbonara a bit too much because it’s simple and require few ingredients! will still vouch for that one tip about substituting the bacon with roasted veggies and other types of meat.

last week i made risotto for the very first time, i think? which means i might be assuming a bit too much, but i think it’s a great dish that you can almost make with whatever you have in your fridge. i made it with roasted beetroot(needs A LOT of time to soften, lesson learned), carrots and parsley root or parsnip(idk the difference), dried rosemary and thyme, garlic and onion. i had some leftover sushi rice, which is great for risotto apparently(love versatile ingredients), roasted them in some oil and then added white wine and chicken stock and actually added a leftover parmesan rind i had in the fridge to give the ‘stock’ some flavour, a bit of nutmeg and then in the end some shredded gouda lol… it was surprisingly delicious and i didn’t even really care to cook the rice perfectly. it also tasted delicious 3 days later, which was a nice surprise. i bet there are tons of risotto recipes online, but as long as you have rice, some kind of flavoured water, i guess you could kind of add whatever you want of veggies and top with whatever herb you have around.

another type of porridge i consume a lot these days is hot oat porridge, which i’ve eaten since i was little and it was the first ‘dish’ i learnt to make myself and it’s cheap. some people really dislike the consistency and look but i don’t. it’s also very easy to customise. i put in whatever nuts and seeds(which are often cheaper than nuts) i have around: flaxseed, sesame seeds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, chopped almonds and sometimes a dollop of peanut butter. i let them simmer along with the oats. i like adding those elements because it gives it some texture and it keeps me more full throughout the day. it’s very important to me because i hate spending money i don’t have on fast-food when i’m not home and i hate being hungry. dried raisins, cranberries for a bit of sweetness and if i’m treating myself i’ll add some fresh apples cut into small pieces or some homemade berry compote(i use frozen) or brown sugar. if i had more money i’d use maple syrup but i don’t at the moment. i also add a bit of cinnamon and cardamom, dried ginger etc, whatever you feel like. some people also add milk afterwards but i’d rather spend my milk on my coffee.

a small tip: making chili flake / garlic oil. it’s really delicious, you could put it straight on pasta with some parmesan and pepper and it would be a filling meal. either chop the garlic really fine, grate it, microplane it, smash it to pieces. heat some olive oil until it’s quite hot, then remove from heat and add the chili flakes and garlic. if the oil isn’t hot enough you can just put the pan or pot back on the heat but be careful you don’t burn the chili flakes or garlic, as it will make it bitter. the longer it will toast, the less pronounced the raw garlic flavour will be, so when it smells toasted enough for your taste, take it off. i store it in a tiny glass jar and add it in stews, sauces, toasts, pizza, sandwiches etc. the flavour is very strong imo and everything it touches will smell like it. something to drink: i like strong foods and i like sour foods, which is why i like lemon/ginger based drinks. to make it even more winter friendly and easy to make, i like to grate unpeeled ginger(i hate slices of ginger, they do nothing for me and seems like a waste of ginger), lemon zest, lemon juice and mix it or blend it with some water/apple juice and honey and strain it afterwards. if you have a really nice blender you can just add all of it together with some ice. i’m basically making a large amount of ginger shot mixture. then when i feel like it, i can take some of the mixture and either drink it as it is, add more apple juice if i need a refreshing beverage or add hot water and more honey for when im cold. you could also add turmeric, chili, use less sweetener and other sorts of healthy stuff but i honestly do it for the taste so i don’t care about that that much.

something sweet: i posted earlier about cakes and someone mentioned swedish kladdkaka, which is a super delicious, cheap, brownie-like chocolate cake that is easily customized and hard to fuck up which is why i’ve made it since i was very young and is a go-to and i didn’t even know it was a swedish thing. if you like airy, light cakes this is not for your. this is sticky, sweet and almost like confection. you can add nuts, swirls of peanutbutter, tahini, actual pieces of chocolate, replace the white sugar with brown sugar, the butter with oil(you can be fancy and use a bit of olive oil) or use a mixture, brown the butter, you name it. the recipe i use is this: melt 100 g butter and let cool. mix 2 eggs + 3 dl sugar in a bowl until fluffy in one bowl. mix 1.5 dl flour, 4 tbs cocoa, 1 pinch of salt in another. mix the dry with the wet mixture and add the cooled, melted butter. this is the point where you’d add chopped nuts, chocolate etc. pour the batter into a cake tin lined with parchment (i use one that is 16 cm in diameters i think). bake the cake for around 30 mins at 150°C - 175°C degrees. check on the cake using a cake tester or a a knife. if the knife is clean after … stabbing it, it’s done! the cake will change it’s texture after cooling. this is a cheap cake, and if you like cake dough you might want to give it less time in the oven for a more fudgey texture. make it your own! there are no rules. last time i made this, i left it in for too long in my opinion but it was still delicious. also i literally have a shit oven with a round oven rack that goes in circles no matter what due to the microwave function, and the only ‘mixing’ equipment i have is a whisk and a spatula. no need for kitchen aids or  even electrical hand mixers.

something else i’ve been eating a lot for lunch is simple open faced sandwiches, and something that can really elevate those is: making your own mayonnaise(and toasting the bread). it can be challenging, but it’s really worth it imo and i can’t remember the last time i bought it in a store. i have a small plastic bowl, whisk and 1 egg yolk. something i can really recommend is buying pour snouts for bottles. i transfer my oils from their plastic bottles to smaller, old soda bottles because im cheesy like that and it’s really handy especially when making mayo. constantly whisking the egg yolk by hand and then adding the NEUTRAL oil ever so slowly. don’t be fancy and use cold pressed stuff or extra virgin olive oil because it will taste weird. i only ever fail when i try to use immersion blenders for some weird reason but i find it rewarding to do by hand anyways and i think it might be easier to make smaller portions that way. mayo needs acid and you can get it by adding regular vinegar, apple cider vinegar, balsamic vinegar, lemon juice, lime juice, pickle juice, citric acid dissolved in water etc. it’s really easy to customise! when im making banh mi, i add some sesame oil, soy sauce for saltiness and use lime as the acidic element. for more regular use i add a bit of mustard(also helps with the emulsion), for fries, i like adding some fresh garlic. something as simple as mayo, tomatoes, flaky salt and pepper topped with chives is really nice. i also really like using slices of boiled potatoes or boiled eggs(idk if that’s only a thing where i’m from), mayo and the chili garlic oil. it’s also great for making tuna salad. yesterday i made a really simple sandwich with a very simple tuna salad(tuna, mayo, yoghurt, lemon and pepper), arugula, basil, the garlic/chili oil, cream cheese, pickled jalapeños and onions, green peber, cucumber and tomatoes. you could leave out everything but the tuna salad and it would still be a great little meal.

another nice condiment that beats the supermarket stuff by far is homemade ‘pesto’. when i buy parsley from my local grocery store, it’s a gigantic amount that i in no way can consume in a week. first of all when buying fresh herbs i really recommend washing them, wrapping them in a damp towel and keeping them in a closed container. it will prolong their lifetime from lasting a day to a week(change the towel if it seems too wet). i once had some cilantro in my fridge for several weeks and still be fresh. anyways, when i buy that much parsley, i like to remove the tougher parts of the stem(which i use in stews/sauces! chop it up and sautee it along with garlic and onion), add literally just olive oil, water, pepper, garlic, and a bit of acid and then blend away! it keeps for a long time in the fridge and is also delicious beneath tomatoes/potatoes/cheese on open-faced sandwiches. if you want to be fancy you can of course add some type of hard cheese, nuts, seeds, dried tomatoes, whatever.

i know this is the longest text post ever, but as a last reminder, i really recommend watching pasta grannies on youtube. really simple recipes with focus on few, good ingredients that just takes some time and love.

[croded]

returned from the battleground of assignments

I've been a professional reader for far too long HAHAHAHA watch me absorb a bit of my favourite parts of every fic ive read through simple diffusion and then put them to use after mixing them together in a blender (writing style thief)

THANK YOU <3 im glad you like it!!! slaved away in my notes app for a week just for you fr you kept me going

you almost felt sick at the nightmare? target achieved >:D 💯🗣️🔥I love reading (and now writing) nightmares because they can get so horribly, unbelievably fucked up and it would still be acceptable because it's a nightmare... so I used it as an excuse to write detailed cannibalism HAHAHAHH

shoutout to my irl friends for not even batting an eye when I asked them how a human heart tasted lmao😭 I even bit myself on the arm multiple times to try and imagine how it would taste 😭😭😭

yes then i shall make it its own post :D

Cannibalism Vein has been living in my mind rent free + the thought of him forcing lu guang to eat cheng xiaoshi is *mwah* chef kith

[stinkrascal]

Hey jaiden! This might be a weird question, but I recently started living by myself, and one of my biggest struggles lately has been figuring out what to eat everyday, cause I have to find cheap and easy stuff since I’ve never been a really good cook lol. For some reason I thought you might know of some recipes that might work for me? You don’t have to answer this, but thank you so much if you do ❤️ hugs

i'm not a very good cook tbh, and my taste in food is especially bland, but i can share the few things i do know! i'll put it under the cut bc ik i'll ramble lol

i stock up on sandwich ingredients since it's cheap and easy to make and u can make a bunch of them!!! if u have money for a frying pan u can make sandwiches soooo good. i make a lot of grilled cheese in the frying pan!!! i just put 4 slices of turkey w a slice of american cheese in the middle and top it with white bread, then coat the pan in butter and fry the grilled cheese on either side for about 1-2 mins on low temp, until the bread turns golden brown, n that's it!!! u can add other stuff im just rlly bland w my food yk. i also make a lot of tuna fish sandwiches lol, i just mix tuna with mustard and mayonnaise (you can guess how much you need of either tbh) and put that between two pieces of toasted white bread, u can add seasonings to it but again im bland lol

SALAD STUFF is a huge one for me, i always try to have salad ingredients at the house bc its such a good snack!!!! the way i make salads is really easy, i get spinach and spring mix salad, cut up 2-3 strawberries depending on their size, then throw in blueberries, purple and/or green grapes, a can of mandarin oranges, and top it off with a FUCK TON of feta cheese, and that's it!!! u can top it off whatever dressings u like, idrk what dressings would go good w this so use your own discretion ig but yeah its super easy to make, this is one of my go-to meals!!!!

if you have a frying pan, tilapia is really easy to make and it's cheap too!!! you literally just brush the top of the tilapia with olive oil, season it with whatever seasonings you like (i usually only put a little salt, pepper, and a light dusting of tony's chachere's) then fry it on both sides and then you're done!!

i make a lottttttttttt of smoothies, which you do need a blender for, but if you do have one they're really filling for meals!! my favorites are strawberry banana and peanut butter banana smoothies. i just put a cup full of crushed ice, a single banana, 3-5 strawberries depending on their size, a tablespoon of sugar, guess the amount of milk needed, then blend that all together!!!!! the peanut butter banana recipe is the same, except instead of 3-5 strawberries i put in a tablespoon of peanut butter!! theyre both soooooo good and filling and easy to make, definitely would recommend!!

generally a lot of small grocery stores will have weekly sales papers at the front of their store that are free for customers to take, it's good to get in the habit of getting those papers and basing ur meal preps off that!!! some stores will have better deals than others for the same thing, the sales papers helps to keep track of it all :') maybe that's basic info to some of u but i literally didn't know this until i met my bf's mom and it has changed my life lol

otherwise most of the food i eat is canned/refrigerated meals or store bought pizza tbh it's embarrassing how little i know how to cook lmao, but there are tons of recipes on the internet! i find a lot of helpful tutorials on youtube, instagram, and tiktok!!

[liliesoftherain]

YouTube Challenge!

Request: Ok so I’ve been watching a lot of youtube couples (not the cringey ones lol) and I reallyyy wanted a head canon for maybe bakugou, shoto, and kiri with a s/o who is a youtuber, and they shoot a couple video like those “my boyfriend rates my outfits” or “chapstick challenge” videos. Could the prompts (42)“(58)(18) Also boys to be pro heroes already...if that’s ok. 

A/N: I hope you enjoy this hun, @pletopliito​ and also as each one is written it gets shorter and shorter lol IM SO SORRY

Prompts: 18. “Have you lost your damn mind?” 43. “Why don’t you kiss me already?” 58. “Are you flirting with me?”

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Reader, Eijiro Kirishima x Reader, Shoto Todoroki x Reader

Katsuki Bakugou!:

“Hey guys, QueenExplosion here! And I have a surprise! Drumroll… It’s King Explosion, as a guest!”

You excitedly pulled your boyfriend into the chair next to you, laughing as he grumbled about the name.

“Right, right! Sorry Mr. Pro Hero, I meant Ground Zero is joining me today!”

“Against my will, might I add.” 

You smacked his arm without looking for the snide comment,

But knowing your boyfriend,

This video was bound to be full of them

“Alright, so today I look a little bare don’t I? That’s because this hunk is going to be doing my makeup.”

“Get ready to look like shit.”

“ANYWAAAAYS, let’s just jump right in, yeah? So I have all my makeup set out on the desk here, I’m not telling him what does what-”

“Like I need to know, this shit isn’t rocket science.”

“And it’s his job to make my look as fine as I always do.”

You watched as Katsuki faced you, grabbing a random brush and your highlighter.

“This is like the base coat for your foundation crap, right.”

He huffed to himself as you stifled a laughter, side eyeing the camera

He brushed it all over your face before picking up your stick foundation,

“Now this just kinda goes.. Fucking everywhere.”

He narrowed his eyes in concentration and you thought he was adorable,

“What are you doing Katsu?”

“You put dots all over your face. So that, stupid.”

He grabbed the beauty blender and you were shocked to try to see him dab it all over your face

He lightly grabbed your neck to maneuver your position,

Making it easier to blend in the makeup

“Do you think I need this much makeup?”

“No.”

“Awhhh-”

“You need a fucking crap ton.”

You smacked his arm again at the rude comment,

But you knew he was kidding with the way he was smirking

“Now that your face is done or whatever the hell, guess it’s the eyes.”

He picked up one of your newer palets and your heart skipped a beat,

“Oh man I just got this… Don’t mess it up please.”

“Yea, yea shut up.”

“I’m serious Katsuki-”

“Shitty woman I won’t mess it up. Now quit talking so I can make your eyes fucking pretty.”

“Haha okayy~”

He grabbed a small brush and opened your eyeshadow pallet,

Staring intently at the colors

“What are you glaring so hard for? Just pick one, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“You use these two the most. Let’s mix them.”

“Wait, what-”

You watched with wide eyes as he dipped the brush into one color,

Roughly grabbing the powder onto the brush before-

“Have you lost your damn mind, KATSUKI!”

“EH!? WHAT!”

You watched as he selected another color,

Lighter than the first,

Blending them together on the pallet instead of on your eye

LIKE HOW A REGULAR HUMAN BEING DID IT

“YOU CAN’T JUST MIX THEM THERE, YOU RUIN THE COLOR!”

“HA? YOU BLEND SHIT ALL THE TIME!?”

“ON MY EYES DUMBASS!”

“So.. Like this?”

He brought the brush up to your cheek and smeared the makeup all over

“Whoops. Missed.”

“Katsukii!”

Laughing and whining you tried to push him away but he kept sneaking makeup all over your face,

Grabbing your hands and holding them so you couldn’t stop his onslaught

It was all fun and games till you heard a crash,

Looking down you saw your pallet on the ground,

Face down

“... Bakugou Katsuki…”

At the tone of your voice he stopped,

Looking down to where he saw you gaze on your fallen makeup.

“Oh fuck.”

Let’s just say that video ended with a bunch of cut scenes until you said goodbye,

Smiling face full of misused makeup and Katsuki with a smug look on his face,

Even if he did have matching makeup stains where you wiped your cheek against his.

“Fellas, if you’re asked to try this, just don’t-”

“Ignore him!! Thanks for the stopping by and watching the explosion duo! See you guys soon! ”

Eijiro Kirishima!:

“Hi beautiful people, and welcome back to my channel! It’s your host, RockkStarr here with my own, rock star- Red Riot! And today we are going to be doing the Chubby Bunny challenge!”

“Yosh!! I’m hyped up to eat some delicious sweets, oh, and the marshmallows too.”

Winking at the camera Eijiro pulled you in close,

You laughed and tried to squirm away as he left playful bites along your shoulder

“Oh stop! If you guys are unfamiliar with the challenge, it’s a winner-loser game-”

“That I’ll definitely win.”

“That you win by seeing how many marshmallows you can fit in your mouth while still being able to say, ‘chubby bunny’!”

“Oh then I’ll definitely lose, you see these cheeks? Made for this.” 

“Owiee!”

Eijiro laughed as you swatted his hand away while he pinched your cute cheek.

“Let’s get onto the marshmallows!”

“YOSH!”

The first few times didn’t go so well since he kept eating them,

“Ei babe you gotta keep it in your mouth!”

“That’s what she-”

After a few more failed attempts you were both up to five, and you both could still talk pretty clearly,

But Kirishima was not making this easy for you,

“What was that??”

“You heard me!!” 

You covered your mouth as you tried to hold back laughter,

Making it even harder to do so as you saw your boyfriend's cheeks puffed out so wide,

With a pursed smile to make him look funnier

“Say it again!”

“CHUBBY BUNNY!!”

After another 4 more you were getting to the limit,

Eijirou was tearing up in laughter about how cute you looked with puffed cheeks,

And every time you opened your mouth to talk they would almost fall out,

“Why don’t you just kiss me already?”

He teased with an almost clear voice,

You rolled your eyes at his smugness but did it anyways,

As soon as your lips touched you couldn’t hold back the giggles,

Spitting out wet marshmallows all over your boyfriend you began dying of laughter,

His shocked and disgusted face made you laugh even harder as his own came out of his mouth

“THAT WAS SO GROSS BABE!”

“AHHHH I’M SORRY!”

You both ended the video,

Your chin slick with drool and Eijiro covered in soggy marshmallows,

But you were both smiling and laughing nonetheless

“Thanks for tuning in! See you beauties next time, RockkStarr-”

“And Red Riot!”

“OUT!” 

Shoto Todoroki!:

“Hello friends, it’s me, IceeBaby! Don’t be alarmed, I know it may be hard to recognize me behind all this Gucci-”

“That’s a store brand tee-shirt, don’t lie.”

“Aaaaaand I’m here with my ice ice baby, Shoto! Thanksforruiningtheintro.”

“Anything for you, love.”

“Thanks babe..  today we are going to have a fashion show of sorts. I'll be trying on my closet for you all to see, and he is taking time out of his busy day to rate them for me!”

“She looks good in anything, so you’re going to get 10/10s everytime.”

“Oh my gosh. Are you flirting with me?”

“I most definitely am.”

“You do know I am dating a top pro hero right?”

“What is he going to do?” 

You giggle as Shoto pulls you onto his lap from, squeezing you tight while he did.

“He can try all he wants but he can't have you back.”

“You’re such a dork-Oh no!! You’ll wrinkle my clothes, let me go!”

“Wrinkled or not this outfit is still a 10 for me.”

You wiggled out of his hold, messing his hair up as you stood.

You tried on a few different outfits, explaining where you got them and why you liked them so much.

“Oh and this shirt-”

“Is my favorite actually.”

“Ohh?? Why is that?”

“This is the shirt you were wearing when we went on our first date.”

Your jaw dropped and Shoto swears there were hearts in your eyes,

“Shoto.. You remember that?”

“Why wouldn’t I? It was one of the best days of my life, you were wearing that shirt and that one pair of jeans that makes your ass look fat-”

“aahhhHHHHHHH! you know about my butt enhancing jeans!?”

“Well, then I didn’t but I know which ones they are now.”

“Kya, you’re so embarrassing~!”

“You were the one wearing them, trying to impress me.”

“Well of course! I was on a date with an up and coming hero, who has tons of pretty heroes who could snatch you from me.”

You pouted looking away from him,

He once again pulled you onto his lap,

“No one is more beautiful than you. I want no one else.”

You looked over to the camera with a smug smile,

“Hear that? Sorry thirsty guys and gals, this man is all mine!”

“Thirsty??”

“Uh yeah, you know how many people thirst over you?”

“Do you know how many thirst over you?”

“Not as many as you, sweetie pie.”

“Whatever you say love, in that case,”

Shoto glared at the camera, shielding you with his body,

“You thirsty people cannot have her either.”

“KYAAA SHOTO-KUN HOW EMBARRASSING!!~~”

You look up at the camera the best you could, a big smile on your face,

“That’s it for today’s video! Go find other people to thirst over!! But I really hoped you enjoyed this! Comment down below if you’d like more content like this! Thanks a bunchies friends! Icy Hot 1 and 2 reporting for outro! Bye!”

[abombihoney]

@jojolimons

it is a roleswap au, but less of a directly transplant them into each others backstories and moves kind of thing. tho that would also be sick as hell. It's more of i threw them in a blender and then seperated them again and they came back a little mixed together.

I didn't want to put Vi directly into Leif's shoes (wings?). I was thinking she was in an accident when they were building the factory core kind of thing. That puts her disappearing around the same time as Leif would have.

I'm not 100% sure what would be happening to her there? She still needs some kind of body. (perhaps a literal honey bee?) She may not be exposed to ancient crystals directly, as Leif did. But she would be close to the artifact for about a hundred years or so, which would be enough for some magic radiation/preservation or w/e.

and whatever kind information is stored in that half of the key Vi now knows. so now she can know some roach cause somebody has to know it in the team lol. ofc, the artifact was only half and it was made to protect and hide, not to know, so she doesnt just immeadiately know where the sapling is either.

She's discovered? somehow? during or before the core exchange? she needs some reason to bond with Leif and kabbu specifically and not anyone else. havent thought abt how to arrange that. wait hold im having thoughts. ok so maybe when they try to do the core switch the platform drops them all as a security measure. the bees of course can fly, and manage to grab the other explorers, but Leif and kabbu fall way down. and find and bond with Vi as they crawl up.

and of course for whatever reason core switch happens first chapter instead, so Vi doesn't come in too late. and yknow easy assignment to have that new explorer team come in on lol. not much can go wrong get their feet wet kind of situation. haha

what else did i have... *checks notes* oh wait okay. so idk if she's conscious or whatever while she's in the core. but regardless she's super fucking sick of being in the factory or w/e and she wants to get as far away as possible so that's why joins team ????

WAIT WHAT WILL THEY BE CALLED IF THE CORE IS FIRST SHIT fuck i dont have anything for that ok

she doesn't care about making money, she just wants to experience things. maybe she also inherits a desire to protect the sapling from the key... so she joins bc she can't really stop all the ant queen from finding it. but she can be there when she does maybe? idk she joins the team bc i say so

moving on, she still kind of blunt and rude, either from several years of no one hearing her? or just cause shes a traumatized teenager lol. she's still sensitive abt her appearance, but now it's less about height, and more about how the core has changed her appearance. she's still "not a kid" but now she's actually older than everyone else lol. she can still fly and has that maneuverability that the teams needs.

Leif-like personality traits she gets: no more shouting, deadpan expressions and tones. physical attack as warning for others to shut up or put up. hungry and sleepy all the time cause it takes a lot to power magic and also a teenager. magic artifact sensitivity ofc. she does magic attacks instead of using her boomerang.

i want to her have a different magical base than ice. but my only thoughts are honey... which can be used a projectiles and to slow/encase enemies? like it doesn't stop them but instead reduces damage by half? or makes them slow and therefore easier to defend against?

[batmanshole]

@harbingerofskulls @roseforrest ask and ye shall receive.

@nonbinarybi not quite its a bit sillier.

stuff is under the cut. these are poorly written just a warning

Mystery cream waffles:

Ingredients:

2 eggo waffles sweetened condensed milk Some sort of cream or milk depending on how thick you want the mystery cream Cinnamon Salted!!!!! Butter

Toast the eggo waffles. While they toast, put like, 1-2 spoonfuls of sweetened condensed milk into a small bowl, add a bit of cream/milk (you can adjust the ratio to your liking, I am bad at writing this down) mix it, and then add the cinnamon. Mix again.

When the waffles are out, add a bunch of butter, and pour the cinnamon + cream mixture on top. enjoy.

What if you could drink straight from the angel’s tit?

Ingredients:

Milk Cinnamon Nutmeg Vanilla extract Honey

Heat up a mug of milk in the microwave for a little bit, not enough to make it HOT, but like. warm. Then add honey, a tiny tiny tiny bit of vanilla extract, cinnamon to taste, and a LITTLE TINY bit of nutmeg (you. DONT. Need a lot lol)

Mix it up, and then heat it to your desired temperature

Poison Beverage:

It won’t kill you unless you’re like. Allergic to strawberries or something.

Ingredients:

a BUNCH of Strawberries Sugar Lemon slice Lime soda (preferably one that isn’t sweet, like a lime bubbly or something) Ice

Chop up your strawberries really small, add them to a pot with like, ehh idk 1/4 cup of white sugar. Or less. im not your mom. Add a squeeze of lemon juice. Just a little!!! Okay now turn on the pot. Heat up the strawberries. You can add some water here if you want. But only a little. as they heat they will turn into like a goo. Keep going. Ok once its a mass off strawberry goo and stuff turn off the stove take a hand blender and puree that shit. Then strain it. You now have strawberry syrup!!! yaaaay. If this confuses you watch a youtube video about strawberry puree or something. I like to strain mine cause I hate the seeds in drinks.

Anyways now that you have that, cool it down. Then pour some ice into a big glass, add some od the syrup, and then the lime soda. Stir it a little tadaaaa strawberry lime soda!!! You can add fresh mint leaves also

Udon noodles (sexual style)

This recipe is great for when you want to do a tiny bit of cooking but really not that much at all. Or maybe you just want noodles

Ingredients:

The pre packaged udon noodles you get at stores soy sauce Oyster sauce Sesame oil Green onion!!!! Sesame seeds You can add protein if you want. im usually too tired to bother

Slice your green onions. Prepare your noodles by boiling them or whatever the package says.

In a bowl, add like, a good amount of oyster sauce, soy sauce, a little bit of sesame oil, and some sesame seeds. Stir with a fork. This bit is really to taste tbh but most of it should be soy sauce and oyster sauce.

you can fry the noodles if you want but I’m really lazy so I just put the cooked noodles in a bowl, add the sauce, and then the green onions and sesame seeds on top. Really fucking yummy actually.

Evil iced latte:

I call it this because it hurts my tummy :(

Ingredients:

-vanilla espresso (or like, regular espresso and add a tiny bit of vanilla to the milk bit) -milk -sweetened condensed milk -ice

Uhhh put a little bit of sweetened condensed milk in a cup, add in as much milk as you’d normally put in, minus like a sip or two. Then STIR!!!!! Mix it together. Okay then in a separate glass put some ice, and pour the milk stuff on it. Then add your vanilla espresso. YUMMYYY!!!! Sosososo good

Evil iced MOCHA:

Literally the same but with a bit of chocolate

Ingredients:

-vanilla espresso (or like, regular espresso and add a tiny bit of vanilla to the milk bit) -milk -sweetened condensed milk -nesquik-like syrup -ice

Uhhh put a little bit of sweetened condensed milk in a cup then the chocolate syrup, mix together. Then, add in as much milk as you’d normally put in, minus like a sip or two. Then STIR!!!!! Mix it together. Okay then in a separate glass put some ice, and pour the milk stuff on it. Then add your vanilla espresso. YUMMYYY!!!! Sosososo good

Chicken tea:

Yum!

Ingredients:

-chicken broth -dried oregano -dried parsley -dried thyme -dried rosemary -salt -empty tea bag (I get mine at davidstea)

pour chicken broth in mug. Heat up in microwave.

In the empty tea bag, add all the dried herbs. My fav is oregano and thyme so I use the most of those.

Take the chicken broth out of the microwave. Add salt. Put the tea bag in. It looks like tea now. Its chicken broth. Yummy.

i love naming my recipes stupid things so my recipe folder is just like:

-mystery cream waffles -what if you could drink straight from the angel's tit? -poison beverage -udon noodles (sexual style) -evil iced latte -evil iced mocha -chicken tea

all of these are real recipes that i really enjoy and make frequently.

[xo-lynnea]

Natural Makeup Routine

I think that soft glam/ Natural make-up is extremely sexy. Something about subtle makeup makes a women seem so alluring. I dont know of its the subtle contour or The wispy fluttery lashes or maybe even the lightly smoked eyeliner but I absolutely adore subtle makeup. I especially love to see other women wear Natural makeup , So Im going to share some of my secrets on how I achieve the Natural makeup!

No foundation

I don’t actually ever wear foundation but I just wanted to let you guys know that its best to skip the foundation. I moisturize , put on sunscreen and then put on primer even though im not going to be wearing any foundation. Primer helps to smooth and even out your complexion and also it minimizes pores. If your not comfortable with going completely bare face then you can opt for a thin layer of CC cream or BB cream.

The primer I like to use is Maybeline Instant Pore Eraser Primer. It usually costs (6.99 USD) I also really like NYX Honey Dew Me Up Primer (10.00 USD)

Concealer

I love concealer! Its the one makeup product I cannot live without. It makes me look alive instantly its pure magic✨. I like to keep two concealers one that is 1 shade lighter and another that is 2 shades lighter. For my Natural makeup I take my concealer that is one shade lighter and I put that concealer all over my eyelids and underneath my eye. I like to blend with a beauty blender but you could also use your fingers. Don’t forget to set with a translucent powder. Brown girls and black girls make sure to get a translucent powder that has a more yellow undertone.

Some of my favorite concealers to use is the Maybelline fit me concealer in 07. Costs about (6.00 USD) ( 1 shade lighter). ELF Cosmetics HD lifting concealer in light. It costs (4.00 USD) (2 shades lighter). Both concealers have a very light creamy formula they blend very well and they stay on all day.

Mascara

Light , fluffy , fluttery and wispy lashes Complement natural make up the best! when I’m Doing a more natural look I like to opt for a brown mascara I think that brown mascara gives you such a soft natural look thats perfect for this subtle makeup look. It’s important to choose a mascara that focuses more on lengthening and defining then volumizing and thickening. I also recommend getting a eyelash primer because this will help aid in the wispy eyelash look.

CoverGirl Lash Blast Amplify Eyelash Primer costs (6.00 USD.) I love this primer it works perfectly. L’Oreal telescopic lengthening mascara in dark brown or black is my go to for this look. I only need about 2-3 coats.( Costs 7.00 USD) L’Oreal voluminous feline mascara is also a good option for this work this works perfectly by giving subtle lift to your lashes and lots of length in just 2 coats. ( Costs 8.00 USD)

Eyeliner

I personally don’t think that eyeliner is necessary for this look, but if you enjoy putting on eyeliner I would suggest using a brown eyeshadow as eyeliner. I think that brown liner looks good on every eye color and it gives that really subtle look that we are trying to achieve. You could also use a nude eyeliner in your water line. This makes the eyes appear bigger and more doll like!

Wet n Wild ColorIcon Kohl Eyeliner – Calling Your Buff (4.00 USD) is a perfect subtle nude and a staple in my makeup bag. It has a Smooth formula and is waterproof. Elf bite size shadows in Truffles has the perfect shade of brown eyeshadows that are perfect for a winged liner effect. (Costs 3.00 USD)

Brows

I dont do much to my brows because I am lucky enough to have “Nice” eyebrows. I would Suggest brushing your eyebrows and then putting some aloe vera gel on them. I think it’s important to remember that Length and fullness is more important then thick or thinness! If you want to fill in your eyebrows Just make sure to make them look full and make them look long meaning they should line up with the outer corner of your eye.

Blush And Highlight.

Blush just adds a little more life to our face. If you are a black girl or a brown girl I would suggest using either red or orange blush it looks so stunning on our skin! Pinks and Peach looks great on lighter and fairer skin tones. Put a little blush on the apples of your cheeks and over the bridge of your nose. For highlight I only put highlighter on my cheekbones and down the bridge of my nose to give me a perfect subtle glow 💫 Since we are going for a soft look I suggest using A cream or liquid blush and a cream or liquid highlighter. Black and brown girls gold highlighter looks so stunning on us!

Lips

Now for lips I think it’s best to keep it simple. I usually go with a super shiny clear gloss because I just think it’s perfect! it’s not too much and it really ties the look together. Sometimes I’ll go for a more champagne colored gloss because I think that is always a suitable choice. You could always opt for a bold lip! Like A bright red or a fuchsia color , sometimes bold colors make our features stand out even more! I just personally prefer to go with gloss because it’s shiny, simple and makes my lips look really plump.

E.L.F Lip lacquer in Mauve , clear , Love Bite , Mauve Glitz all cost 3.00 USD and are perfect for a simple look. Also E.l.F pink champagne is a perfect option.

Set

Always set your make up! don’t ever leave your house without setting your make up! it is one of the most important step in make up application. I like to use E.L.F Cosmetics set and mist setting spray. It cost (5.00 USD) and works like a charm!

I hope you guys enjoyed this post and I hope I helped with giving you guys some guidance to achieving natural make up or natural glam. I just want to remind everyone that everyone has a different face and when you’re doing your make up you should do make up that fits and defines your face! your features! your bone structure and your eyes! It’s all about you! And don’t be afraid to experiment and try different things or mix different colors because you never know what the outcome Will be. Until next time and stay beautiful💖💖💖

[sims3tutorialhub]

Gaming Laptop 2020

This post is my own personal opinion.

So what would I look out for? First a little overview then I will explain:

MSI or DELL are my favorites, but all work, read reviews!

CPU: i5 or higher

RAM: At least 8GB

GPU: NVIDIA GTX1050/GTX1060 or higher

HDD: SSD & HDD Hybrid or a full SSD

Screen: 1920x1080 resolution

Windows 10

The Make

I personally am a total fan of DELL due to the fact their laptops are solid, and the screen colors and clearness is incredible. But which make you pick is up to you. A lot of people also recommend MSI for gaming. You will also have to decide if you want a pure gaming laptop (these often have bright backlit keyboards and a slightly different keyboard layout) or a multimedia laptop which you can use for school work and such too. Then you must always consider that a gaming laptop is going to be a bit heavier and bulkier!

CPU

So I swear on intel. Right now you have intel i5/i7/i9. i7: If you are a creator who likes to run multiple programs at once like Blender, MD, MS etc then an i7 might be better for you i5: Good for people who just want to game! i9: the newer CPU which is a great mix for gaming and running lots of programs, but it is not a must!

RAM

You need at least 8GB RAM to be able to play sims. And you need no more than 16GB unless you plan to do something totally hard-core on your PC. I would make sure it is DDR4 but that is the norm these days. Remember you can always upgrade your RAM for about 30 GBP easily, however this will probably break your warranty (so maybe do this after). But because you can update, this isn't the most important part to check for. If it only has 8GB and you want 16GB but the rest is good, don’t let it put you off.

GPU

Sims was made to mainly work with NVIDIA and I personally am not a fan of AMD but that is everyone’s choice. The GTX1060 is super good (add Ti at the end for a little more cost and a little better graphics). The GTX1050 is also very good, but the 1060 has a better cost/efficiency ratio. Of course, now the new RTX series is out you can also go for that, maybe if you play other games. But for sims it is total overkill.

HDD

I am a great fan of SSDs. No disk cleaning needed and it will make your sims loading times speed up, also the installation and your PC boot time. Generally said to be about 5x faster than an HDD. Most laptops come with a 256GB SSD and a 1TB HDD. This means you have two partitions (not a big deal, you just need to know how to work it). If you buy a laptop with only an HDD then no worries, I personally updated mine to a 1TB SSD later (also breaks warranty) for about 200 GBP.

WARNING: some PCs will ONLY have a 256GB SSD or so in them with no HDD. This is difficult because these are small SSD chips (not those bulky HDDs you imagine) and these are expensive to upgrade to bigger sizes and the laptop will have no space for a HDD (usually). Sims people often need way more that 256GB of space so I would avoid a laptop that only has a small SSD!

Screen

Most come with 1920x1080 resolution anyway. But if you do not plan on using a second screen then take a look at DELL. They have the nicest screen with the best colors (I personally only ever buy DELL screens for this reason).

Win 10

I know it can be glitchy, but at least it is still getting security updates. At some point you will need to upgrade it anyway. Also the cool thing is, it is written into your hardware, no more codes needed. That means if I switch out my HDD for a SSD then no worries, your PC still remembers you have win 10! Makes reinstalling very easy!

But if I want a Desktop?

Well then you can fiddle a little more. The same stuff still applies but I would recommend at least a 500W Power Supply and you will need some kind of fluid cooling system probably to keep it nice and cool. Obviously you also have a lot more choices: you can get an internal SSD chip (even faster), or upgrade to a GTX1080Ti or the RTX series. You will also need to check out the companies that make your parts as lots of people produce the same GPU. You can get a bigger SSD if you like, or a bigger HDD. You will also need either a network card or a dongle (USB-WIFI stick) so you get internet. And of course you need a motherboard!  The main point is to make sure all the parts work well together, than your power supply is enough for your GPU and your motherboard or CPU are not so old they throttle your PC power.

Here are my specs:

Motherboard: Gigabyte GA-X99-Ultra Gaming Intel X99 Quad Chennel DDR4 ATX CPU: Intel Core i7 6850K Hexacore 3.60GHz Graphics Card: Gigabyte GeForce GTX 1080 Xtreme Gaming Aktiv PCIe 3.0 x16 Cooling: Corsair Hydro Series H80i v2 Tower: Antec Nine Hundred Tower V3 RAM: 32GB (4x8GB) Corsaire Vengeance LPX DDR4-3200 DIMM CL16 Power Supply: 850 Watt Enermay Platimax Modular 80+ Platinum HDD: 512GB Samsung 950 Pro M.2 2280 PCIe Internal SSD

What should I do when I first get a laptop?

First thing is always, test it out!!! Open and close the lid a few times to make sure it is smooth, poke it to see if it seems stable. Play some music at the loudest settings to see if the sound is nice. Load up tumblr or so and see if the colors and clarity are correct. Run some super high spec things on it or open like 10 programs at once and render something in blender, literally just see how loud and hot it gets when it has a lot to do.

Once you know you wish to keep the laptop, my advice is REINSTALL WINDOWS 10, you can easily do this (tutorial here), or at least go through the steps to update windows and delete ALL unnecessary programs. There will be a ton of preinstalled crap on there. Get rid of it.

Then consider getting yourself a good AV program. I personally recommend ESET or Mawarebytes (paid versions). For ESET the price is under 20 dollars/euros etc per year for a license if you buy a bundle of 5. I share these 5 with family and they can also be put on your phone!

If you are still not sure which Laptop is right for you, just IM me @gruesim and I will gladly help!

[jubilantwriter]

Jaspvid Week 2020: Day 3 - Summer

fuck it at this rate i’m just gonna be posting late never get a night shift job y’all

(AO3)   @jaspvid-week​

You Can't be Traumatized if You Don't Go to Summer Camp

Summary:  They met by an ice cream truck as children.  And since then, it’s been a tradition for them to meet up and buy ice cream together.

Word Count: 5088

Jasper loves summer.  Summer means no school, no homework, and no teachers to be bummed out by!  Since he's eleven now, he thinks that maybe his mom will let him go to the community pool more often, since he can totally swim by himself without her worrying that he'll go to the deep end and drown.  

He's too rad for that anyways!  And since summer vacation started, he's been having fun watching the Saturday morning cartoons and hanging out with his friends whenever they want to come over and play.  With the heat bringing it's A game this year though, more and more of his time is spent just lounging inside his house, trying to beat the heat with his mom's rotating fan.

In fact, here he sits, mouth wide open as he makes a long "ahhhh" sound at it, giggling as the fan messes with his voice.  Although summer isn't always about having fun and playing with his mom's fan and going swimming at the pool.  He keeps his ears perked as he waits for a special kind of song to start making its rounds around the block.

And sure enough, the musical notes of a familiar tune rings throughout the neighborhood, and Jasper is already making a mad dash to his mom for some sweet, sweet cash.

"Mom!"  He waves his hands back and forth to get her attention.  "Mom, the ice cream truck!"

His mom smiles, having already heard the tune and pulling her wallet out of her purse.  "Alright, hold on."  A few dollars bills are handed over as Jasper grabs them eagerly.

"Rad!"

"But only buy one, okay?  Dinner's coming up soon."

"Okay!"  He dashes out the door just in time to see the ice cream turn the corner onto his street.  "Hey!"  He waves his hand in the air, flagging down the ice cream truck as it continues past his house.  It slows to a stop as he chases after it when he notices another kid peek his head out.

Red hair.

Green eyes.

And the scariest frown he's seen.

He smiles as he waves at his neighbor.

"Hi, Davey!"

"Don't call me that!"  David yells as he slams his front door shut, disappearing back into his house.

"Jeepers, man."  Normally, all the other kids would feel put out by having their neighbor slam a door shut at them, but Jasper was used to it.  It was pretty rude yeah, but as long as Jasper kept his distance, David wouldn't start throwing rocks at him!  It's a good thing Jasper is a quick learner, otherwise there would have been a lot more rocks in his future.

"Hey, kid."  A man with a scraggly looking face rolls down the window.  The ice cream man!  "You wanted somethin'?"

"Sure do, mister!"  Jasper looks over the ice cream choices on the side of the truck.  There were ice cream sandwiches, drumsticks, those push pop thingies, the faces with bubblegum eyes, that frozen lemonade stuff in a cup that tastes okay he supposes, and-  "One bomb pop!  Please!"

"Sure, which flavor?"

"The one that looks like a rocket!"

"Red, white, and blue, comin' up."  Jasper waits patiently as the ice cream man disappears for a minute before reappearing with the cold treat.  "Here ya go.  One American ice cream."

"Is it really called that?"

"Nah.  That's a dollar."  Jasper hands over the dollar and grabs the frosty treat from the man as he sits on the sidewalk.  As he unwraps the popsicle, the ice cream man grunts in surprise.

"You want somethin' too?"  Jasper looks up and sees David standing not too far from him.  He's biting his lip, fists buried deep in his pockets as he glares at the ice cream on the truck.  "Gotta pay up, kid."

"...Not if I take it first!"  Jasper watches as David runs and leaps at the truck's window, grabbing onto the ledge as the ice cream man looks unimpressed.

"Nice try, kid."  He flicks off every single one of his tiny fingers, making David land on the ground with a soft "oof!".  "Maybe come back with a dollar, and I'll give ya what your bratty heart so desires."

"Whatever!"  David stands up quickly and stomps his foot.  "Ice cream is for squares anyways!"  As the ginger stomps off, Jasper wonders how many times David's tried to pull that off.  He gets up and walks back to the truck.

"Hey, mister?"

"Whatcha want, kid?"  The ice cream man eyes him from the window.  "You better eat that quick 'fore the sun melts it."  

"Oh I will!  It's just, um," he digs around in his pocket and pulls out another dollar, "can I have another one?"

The ice cream man takes it slowly, looking between Jasper and a door that slams shut yet again.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."  Technically, Jasper wasn't breaking any rules.  He grins up at the man brightly.  "Umm, can I have..."

Actually, which one WOULD he like?  It's not like Jasper knows enough about David to make a good guess.  All he knows is that David is grumpy, hates people, sasses adults, and is an overall menace to everyone around him.

But he's also seen David out in the rain, with no umbrella or raincoat to speak of, just picking worms off the sidewalk and tossing them into the grass.  He's seen David yell at bullies, aim only for the legs in dodgeball, and even sit next to a crying kid silently just so he wouldn't be alone.  

Jasper points at the vanilla bar with the hard outside.

"Can I have that one?"

"Sure, kid."  The ice cream man disappears and comes back with the wrapped treat, but he looks hesitant to give it to him.  "Are ya sure...?"

"Totally man!  My mom says that if I treat people the way I wanna be treated, I can make friends way faster like that!"

"That's one way to do it, I guess."  The ice cream man shrugs as he hands over the treat.  "Better give it to him before it melts then."

"Will do!  Thanks, mister!"

The ice cream man waves as Jasper runs to David's house, sticking his melting popsicle in his mouth as he knocks on the door.  The door creaks open slowly, a single green eye peeking out suspiciously before he spies Jasper standing on his doorstep.  Jasper pops his popsicle out and grins.

"Heya, broski!"

"Oh, it's you."  Ouch.  "What do you want?"  Jasper waves the wrapped treat in front of David.

"I did something totally wack and got an extra by accident!  And I'm only supposed to have one ice cream before dinner or else my mom will totally wig out, so I thought maybe you'd like it?"  David stares at the ice cream with a suspicious squint.

"...Why are you giving it to me?"

"Because you're the only kid I know in this neighborhood!"

"Liar."

"Okay, maybe I know a few other kids, but you were closer!"

"What's the catch?"  David glares at Jasper, holding onto his door tight.  "I take the ice cream and then what?  I gotta give you my allowance?  Beat the snot outta someone?  Be your friend because you're a weird loner?"  

Well, Jasper's not exactly a loner, but he wouldn't mind being friends with David if he'd just stop being mean for a second.

"It's just ice cream, dude.  Take it or leave it."

David swipes the bar from his hand and slams the door in Jasper's face.

"Nice!"  The ice cream man calls, laughing as Jasper walks away with a huff.

Well.

At least he took the dang thing. 

////

The ice cream truck comes again, and this time, the man grins as Jasper points at an ice cream sandwich.

"Gonna get a second one too while you're at it?"  He points to a door cracking open, and a familiar tuft of red hair peeking out.

"...I dunno, maybe."  Last time didn't work out so hot.  Maybe David just doesn't want friends.  Maybe he's the loner.

And Jasper's fine with that.  It's not like he has to be friends with David anyways.

"Who knows, kid?  Maybe he's like a stray cat.  Gotta be nice to 'im and bait 'im 'til he comes out."

"You just want my mom's money."

"Absolutely, now are you gonna buy another one or not?"

"I said I dunno."  Jasper huffs as he waits for the ice cream man to give him his sandwich.  As he takes it, he hears the door shut and he turns to find David no longer hiding by his door.

"Looks like the runt went back into hiding."  The ice cream man hums to himself as Jasper unwraps his treat and starts to munch away.  A bright look comes across the man's face as he ducks into his truck as Jasper watches curiously.  When the ice cream man resurfaces from his searching, a yellowish cup is held in his hand as he shoves it at Jasper's face.  "Here, kid."

Jasper scrunches up his face.

"I don't want it."

"Nah, kid, it's free."

"I still don't want it."

"Look, I got a whole bunch of these laying around 'cause kids don't want 'em as much as the other stuff I got.  So why not throw it at that kid's face so you're not wasting your ma's money and I'm gettin' rida stock I don't need?"

"I don't want him to hate me more than he already does!"

"Can't get any lower than rock bottom, kid."

Oh, he'd beg to differ.

But the ice cream man tosses him what was essentially frozen lemonade, but not like, the good lemonade, but the lemonade that was just pure lemon juice with some water, maybe even too much water, mixed in, and then they put it in the freezer, and then put that ice block into a blender, turned it on high, and poured the goop into a cup to be sold to children who actually knew what good lemonade tasted like.

And this was not good lemonade.

Jasper barely manages to catch it as it smacks into his chest.

"Good luck, kid!"  The ice cream man salutes him before rushing off into the driver's seat to drive away.

"But I said I didn't want it!"  Fruitlessly, he yells at the disappearing ice cream truck, groaning loudly as he clutches this awful excuse for a lemony treat.  What was he supposed to do with it?  

...

Well, he could actually give it to David.

Maybe he was into this sort of stuff.

Frozen, bad lemonade.  That was kind of like shaved ice, but not really.  The outside of the cup sweats in his hand, reminding him of the hot temperature.

Maybe he wouldn't care?  Maybe he'll take it because it's so hot out and use it as a, like, ice pack or something.

His feet are already walking him to David's door, and after cramming the ice cream sandwich in his mouth, he once again knocks on the door, but with less enthusiasm this time.  David opens the door, but he looks only a little surprised.

"What do you want, Jasper?"

Oh, he knows his name?  

"Uh, here."  His words are muffled around the sandwich, but David takes the cup regardless.

And scrunches up his face when he sees it.

"Ugh!  I don't want this!"

"Me neither!"

"It sucks!"

"I know!"

David blinks, as if registering that Jasper was actually agreeing with him.

"So why are you giving this to me?"  Jasper swallows a bite of his sandwich and shrugs.

"I dunno, maybe you can like, use it as an ice pack?"

"Pfft."  David snorts, which makes Jasper perk up a bit.  "As if.  This thing'll only last for a few minutes."  

"What are you gonna do then?"  Jasper watches as David wipes the sweat from his brow, frowning as he stares down at the cup.

And sighs dramatically.

"Guess I'll eat the dang thing."

"...You sure?"

"Well it's not like I have a choice."  Jasper expects more bite to his words, but the ginger merely says it with a tired reluctance he doesn't expect.  "Thanks, though."

"Oh uh, sure, duderino."  He expects David to slam the door in his face but the boy just... keeps it open.  "Guess I'll see you around?"

"Whatever."  David shrugs as he pops the lid open.  "See ya."  

He walks away from David's house and doesn't hear the door close.  When he makes it to his own house, he looks over to where David's house is and sees the boy sitting there.  Quietly eating his treat in the open doorway.

And Jasper swears.

He's eating it with a smile.

////

When Jasper approaches the familiar ice cream truck, he can hear two voices yelling at each other near the truck's window.

"You tellin' me this is all two dollars?!"

"I said count 'em, you gigantic square!"

"Uhh...?"  Jasper walks up to find David gripping the edge of the window from where he hangs with a snarl.  The ice cream man glares back down at David as he holds a fist full of coins.  Oh.

"It's two dollars!"

"Quit jerkin' my chain!  As if I'd believe you!"

"Can I count?"  The two of them turn their heads to Jasper as he sheepishly rubs his arm.  "I mean, if I count them in front of you, it'd save you the trouble and prove Dave- David's telling the truth."  The ice cream man rolls his eyes but hands the change over to Jasper regardless.  And so the brunette carefully sorts out the assortment of change, and holy cow, he can see why the ice cream man was angry at first.  It's a big mess of nickels and pennies and dimes, with maybe one quarter in the mix, but he counts out the change dutifully, carefully, and out loud so that the ice cream man can see his work.

"...and two dollars."  He gathers up the change and holds it up to the ice cream man.  "David was telling the truth."

"I told you, you big doofus."

"Watch it, kid, or else I'm taking your money and drivin' away."

"That's stealing!"

"As if you haven't tried stealin' from me before."  But the ice cream man disappears and comes back with two drumsticks.  "Here, your ice cream."

"Yessss!"  David takes them both, before turning to Jasper and handing him a stick.

"...Huh?"

"Here."  He shoves it into Jasper's hand and looks away.  "For the other times you got me ice cream."

"Oh!  You didn't have to-"

"Later, nerd!"  David runs off and into his house, slamming the door shut as he leaves Jasper in the dust.

"...Are you two friends now?"

"Uhh."  Jasper looks down at the drumstick in his hand.  It's the usual kind - vanilla, coated with chocolate and nuts.  He unwraps it and gnaws on the outer shell.

Sweet.

"...Maybe."

"Huh."  The ice cream man sounds amused as he reclines against his window.  "That was quick."

////

It becomes a routine.

Everyday, the ice cream man comes.  Sometimes it'll be Jasper who meets him first.  And sometimes it's David.

But there's an unspoken rule between them.

They have to wait until the other shows up before leaving.

It's like a meeting place, but with a guy who brings the meeting place to them.

Normally, they just buy the ice cream and part ways back to their houses.  

But sometimes...

"Doesn't it hurt?"

"What?"

Jasper and David sit on the curb, the ice cream man already driving away as they eat.  It's too hot to stay indoors, so they find themselves having a rare moment outside in the sun.  Jasper wouldn't mind staying quiet, if only for the fact that David bites down on the bomb pop like it's candy and crunching away at it in his mouth.

Just watching him eat it makes Jasper's teeth ache.

"Biting down on it!"

"No it doesn't."  David chomps down on it again, making Jasper cringe. 

"My mom says that biting ice cream like that can hurt your teeth."

David snorts.

"You're just a chicken."

"Am not!"

"Then do it, chicken."

Jasper looks at his own popsicle.  He doesn't want to hurt his teeth, but he also doesn't want to be called a chicken.  David grins slyly as he nudges Jasper.

"Chiiiickeeeeen," he goads.

"I'm not a chicken!"  Without a second thought, Jasper bites down on his popsicle and crunches down on the block of flavored ice.  It feels as though the ice is freezing his teeth all the way down to his gums, and it sort of hurts, and sort of doesn't.

It's still not pleasant though, so he chews through it quickly.

"See?"  David nudges him again with a lighter grin as he goes back to polishing off the popsicle.  "It's not that bad."

"Ugh."  He determines not to do that again.  "I think I'll pass on eating popsicles like that ever again."

David snickers but doesn't push him.  Instead, they both kick at the asphalt beneath their feet and take in the rays.

////

Summer comes, and summer goes.  They go back to school, pretend they don't know each other asides from a neighborly nod, before continuing on with their lives.

But when summer returns, they find themselves meeting up back at the ice cream truck.

"Wanna try these ones?!"  Jasper excitedly points at the pastel-looking ice cream bars on the truck.

"Are you getting it only for the colors?"

"Why not!"  

"That's dumb.  You're dumb."  

"You just don't wanna admit you wanna try the cotton candy one."  Jasper teases the ginger as David rolls his eyes.

"Whatever.  I'll just take the watermelon one."  

"Well, I'm taking the cotton candy one, 'cause I'm not a chicken."

"You take that back."

"Are you kids gonna pay or what?"

"Here you go, mister!"  As the ice cream man hands them their treats, the two of them sit back on the curb, kicking at the asphalt as they get used to each other yet again.

"You think his menu ever changes?"

"Nah, he seems too lazy to do that."

"But what if something new comes out?  Like a tubular kind of ice cream."

"He already has a tube-y ice cream."

"No, like tubular!  Like wicked?  Gnarly?"

"...I hate you so much.  Just speak like a human!"

"But I am??"  David yells as Jasper laughs.  "Take a chill pill, man!  It's how everyone speaks nowadays!"

"That's a lie.  A big, dumb lie that only a square would make."

"Calling people a square is sooo outdated, Davey."  The nickname slips out before Jasper can stop himself, and he slaps his hand over his mouth in shock.  "Oh, no, I'm sorry!  I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine."

And he blinks.

"...Huh?"

"I said it's fine."  David kicks at the asphalt, keeping his eyes away from Jasper's as he bites into his ice cream.  "...I'm okay with you calling me 'Davey'."

"Are.  Are you sure?"

"Yeah."  David shrugs before turning to face Jasper.  He looks uncertain, nervous even as he twirls the melting treating between his fingers.  "I mean, we're friends, right?"

And he blinks again.

Mouth slightly agape. 

He must have taken too long to respond because suddenly David's ears are bright red as he stands up abruptly.  "Wh-whatever!  If we're not friends, just say it-!"

"We are!"  Jasper stands up just as quickly, a giddy grin making it onto his face as he makes to hug David, only to remember the sticky ice cream in their hands.  "We're friends!"

It's David's turn to blink as he registers the words Jasper says.  And then.

He smiles.

A real, genuine smile.

"...Cool!"

And when summer inevitably ends, he hopes he'll get more than a nod from David as they pass each other in the halls.

////

Summers come, and summers go.  As they pass each other in the halls, Jasper goes for a high-five that David avoids, only to punch Jasper (lightly) in the arm later.

They sit next to each other at lunch, Jasper sharing his snacks with David as the latter pours over Jasper's homework as Jasper explains each problem to him.

They become an odd pair, the two of them.  David's bristly exterior is immediately softened when Jasper is nearby, and Jasper's mood lightens considerably no matter the problem he has to face as long as David is there with him.

People often ask him if he hopes to make David a more cheery person by sticking with him.  After all, Jasper is all smiles and bright colors.  But Jasper just shrugs, saying he likes David the way he is.

If David changes, then he'll still like him.

Because David is David.

Just like how Jasper is Jasper.

Some things about them will change, Jasper knows that's inevitable.  Habits change, opinions change, outlooks change.

But some routines never change.

They're fourteen as they wait for the ice cream truck together, sitting on Jasper's front lawn as the cool grass stains their shorts.

"Aren't we too old for ice cream trucks?"  David is lying down besides Jasper, his eyes closed as Jasper drops torn up grass onto his face.  Jasper giggles as David swats halfheartedly at his hand.

"Nah."  

"We could be doing something else.  Like playing games.  Or eating ice."

"Only you would eat ice."

"Yeah well, maybe if you didn't think your teeth were so fragile-"

Jasper rolls David over, the other boy squeaking indignantly as his words are muffled by the dirt and grass. 

"UGH!  JASP-"  And then a familiar jingle rounds the corner.

"Oh it's Mr. Kevin!"  Jasper bounces to his feet and dashes away to meet the familiar driver.  "What's up-!"

David comes up from behind Jasper and grabs him in a headlock, already yelling at the amused man as he pulls out a few bills.

"HE WANTS THE LEMON ICE!"

"HEY-"

"Whatever my loyal customers want."

"HEY-"

////

A few more summers come and go.  Puberty is wack.  High school is wack.  Preparing for college is super bogus wack.  But David isn't wack.

If time could stop for just a moment, just so Jasper could have more seconds in the day to relish those moments of happiness that escape them more often than not, then maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't feel as though everything was falling through his fingers so quickly.

Things change too quickly.

Times change too quickly.

Even old routines, that one routine he'd grown to depend on every summer.

That began to change too.

As the two of them wait for the ice cream man, a man who has slowly begun to fade from their lives as the times change, Jasper finds himself clutching desperately to the past as his feet tap nervously against the grass.  He can feel David's eyes on him, watching as his best friend slowly unravels before him.  With a sigh, David leans against him, forcing Jasper to a halt as he forces the teen to lay down in the grass.

Up above them, the clouds roll by peacefully, completely unbothered and untethered to any sorts of worries.

"...You think he's gonna come by?"

"I don't think he's got enough customers to justify it, Jasp."

"...Bummer."

"Hm."

They continue to watch the clouds for a while, Jasper's disappointment settling on his face as he wonders if he took his childhood for granted yet again.  A finger prods his cheek, and he turns to see David's green eyes.  Calm.  Relaxed, even.  He's mellowed out throughout the years, but he still wears a frown most days.  He's grown up a lot since he was that mean, bratty kid next door.

"You want ice cream that bad?"

"It's not that."  Jasper bites his lip.  He's kind of embarrassed actually, wanting to stick to this routine for so long.  David's probably long since gotten tired of waiting for the ice cream truck, especially during these recent years as the man showed up less and less.  But he never complains or goes against Jasper's wants, and instead plays along patiently as Jasper continues to cling.  

"Then what is it?"

Is it hard to explain?  Or is it just embarrassing to say?  He looks over to David, and there's understanding in his eyes as he props himself up, waiting for Jasper to choose his words without any rush.

How lucky was he to keep a friend like David for so long?

"We stuck together because of the ice cream truck."  David's eyes widen as the words sink in.  Jasper laughs, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck as he looks away.  "I dunno it just- I'm probably just tripping over this for no reason, dude, sorry-"

"It's important to you."  Jasper feels David lean against him as he thinks out loud.  "I don't think it's wrong that you're upset about it."

"...But it's a dumb thing to cling to."

"Not really.  We became friends because we kept buying ice cream together.  I think that's pretty meaningful."  David rests his chin on Jasper's shoulder as they continue to sit, waiting for nothing to arrive. 

"Is it bad that I miss it?"

"Nah."  

The breeze ruffles their hair.

"...What do you think Kevin is up to?"

"Probably selling drugs."

"Davey!"

"What?"  The ginger laughs, puffs of warm brushing against Jasper's neck as he gradually calms down.  "I'm right."

"You don't know that."

"Maybe."  

Jasper closes his eyes.  It's hot out, but he doesn't mind David sticking so close by.  It's comforting, actually, feeling his warmth like this.  Like, no matter what, even if the ice cream truck doesn't come by anymore, David doesn't really need a reason to just come by and sit next to Jasper and do nothing together.

At least that won't change.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Let's do something next year."

"Like what?"

"Something new."  David turns his attention back to the sky and reaches out towards it.  He tries to grab a cloud, but it floats away from his hand.  "I've always wanted to go camping."

"But we don't know anything about camping."

"We can practice."  David pulls back just enough to look Jasper in the eye, bright eyed at the prospect.  "We got a whole year to prepare, and we'll be graduating soon anyways.  Why not do something special for that summer?"

No more ice cream trucks.  No more sitting around.  But something new to fill in the void.

It couldn't hurt, right?

"Yeah."  He smiles as David returns with his own grin.  "Let's try that out."

\\\\

Summers come as they are wont to do.  And they leave as they tend to do.  The ice cream truck never comes back.

But that's okay.

David brightens up significantly as they begin camping, and Jasper wonders if he'd been holding his friend back for so long, making him wait for trucks to come when it was clear they needed to move on.

And yet.

He stood by him the entire time, waiting until Jasper was ready to let go.

An unspoken trust.  With unwavering understanding.

Camping is alright, he supposes, but David loves how the trees surround them, how the birds sing above them, the way they come across streams and rivers as though they were new discoveries.

Camping is alright.  But David's happiness is worth so much more.

"Jasp!"  David pulls him along to the nearby clearing, their campfire crackling softly as he points up to the sky.  "You don't get to see stars like this often!"

"...Yeah."  He watches as David stares up at the night sky, so unlike the boy he grew up with.  It's a side of him he's rarely seen before.

And he thinks that it's a shame that they never got to explore this side of him sooner.

Wouldn't that have made David happier?

David turns to Jasper, head tilted to the side as he catches his friend staring.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Oh, uh, nothing."  He looks away with a blush, scratching at his cheek as he looks for something to distract David with.  "Oh yeah, we should make sure the campfire doesn't burn down anything, right?"

"Oh- yeah!"  David rushes back, already worried as Jasper laughs.

This.

This is different.

But it's a good kind of different.

"Hey."

"Huh?"  David looks up from where he sits by the fire, watching as Jasper plops down besides him.

"Why do you like camping so much?"

"...I dunno it just."  He shrugs, smiling wistfully as he watches the fire.  "I mean, I used to camp a lot with my dad.  Before he left."  

Ah, right.

"Wouldn't you hate camping then?"

"I mean, I did.  For a long time, I did."  David laughs, a light blush dusting his cheeks as he talks.  "But then, you became my friend.  And we grew closer and.  I just wanted to do something with you.  Something that we could claim as our own.  Sure, there was that whole ice cream thing but.  That could only last for so long, and when it ran its course, I saw how you were struggling to just.  Wrap your mind around losing something that was so us.  And I wanted to do something.  Make a new something.  And.  Camping was the only thing I could think of."  He shrugs as he turns to face Jasper, the brunette wide eyed as the ginger grins.  "It just felt... right, you know?"

"...God."  Jasper shakes his head, laughing as he does so.  "You're amazing, you know that?"

"Only because you stuck by long enough for me to be amazing."  David nudges his shoulder playfully.  "...Hey."

"Hm?"

"Thanks.  For actually, um.  Being my friend."  David looks down as he speaks.  "It couldn't have been easy."

"...Nah, thanks for letting me stick to that ice cream schtick for so long."  Jasper bonks his head gently against David's.  "That couldn't have been easy."

"It's whatever."  David bonks back with a smile.  "I mean, as long as I got to spend time with you, it was worth it."

...Yeah.

It was, wasn't it?

He smiles as their fingers brush together.

Yeah, maybe camping was just alright.  If it'd been with anyone else, he'd be pretty indifferent and distant throughout the whole affair.

But.

With David?

Like when they were waiting for the ice cream truck together, the sun beaming down above them, feet kicking playfully at asphalt as they listened to the sounds of the birds chirping in the distance.

Sitting here, by an open fire, underneath the stars and listening to the songs of the crickets and the hoots of the owls.

Just like then.

Just.  Existing next to each other.

It just.

Feels.

Right.

[crapitskizaru]

Sugar Daddy!Trafalgar Law x Fem!Reader

Yo jurassic queen! Whats up! I hope your having a great week. Can I request a short scenario with sugar daddy law and his new sugar baby that's thirsting for him but trying to hide it. Maybe shes a bit Tsundere about it. Im in the mood for loving on my death dr. Please and thank you.

What about waking up in laws bed in one of his coats and his bed juts smells like him and of course his hoodie, and then you walk downstairs to see law standing there making breakfast (because he is a big teddy bear) and he’s wearing a tight black shirt (you know who I am 😉)

Warning: the shitty death doctor is fcking going for it + filthy vibes but not really

Word Count: 1k

Even the heavy scent of rain and the overcast sky behind the windows couldn’t stifle the feeling of excitement she got when she woke up in a bed overtaken by his scent. 

The sheets were crumpled under her fingers - letting her recall the shameless acts mixed with heated passion of the previous night. He was just so addicting with his witty charms and sparkling intelligence, and those grey eyes that she was more than glad to lose herself in. 

Where was he now? He and the morning kisses they were supposed to share in her daydreams, his strong arms around her as they both wake up in the same bed? He must have been enjoying himself last night, she was sure of that. Anyone would be able to tell - with his possessive touches and commands given with that raspy voice of his, with the way he took her several times, as many as he could. 

She put on the first thing she found crumpled on the floor - his shirt, discarded carelessly a few hours before by his quick fingers as he allowed her to feel more of him and his defined muscles. 

She made a short visit to the bathroom to freshen up before finally gathering enough courage to show herself downstairs.

Her stomach made a little backflip when she saw him - in hawaiian-themed shorts and a black shirt, far too tight to leave her desires unbothered, he was shuffling around the kitchen. 

Apparently, watching various types of fruits being cut and smashed while accompanied by the dramatic whirring of the blades in a blender must have put him in a good mood as he smirked to himself.

“I wouldn’t ever think I’d say this, especially after last night, but you look cute like this. Doctor,” she said, raising an eyebrow while punctuating the last word, which also happened to be a nickname he so loved to hear in bed. He kept his eyes on her as she came closer. “Good morning.” 

“‘Cute’ is definitely not the impression I was going for,” he murmured quietly, leaning his face closer to hers, as if to peck her on the lips. Just when they were about to touch, a metallic sound of swirling blades caused her to jump in surprise as he suddenly turned the blender on. He observed her reaction, clearly amused. 

“You’ve got issues,” she laughed. The sight of his ab muscles twitching underneath that black shirt with his every move made her bite her lip in need. 

“I thought I made that clear already.” 

For some reason it felt weird - seeing him outside the bed, her fingers not tangled in his messy hair anymore, breathing in his scent and having a casual talk over breakfast. She could swear she was naked with him, orgasming and calling all sorts of pleads and begs out not more than just few minutes ago. 

Meanwhile, he was acting as if it never happened. He sat down at the table, grabbing a newspaper in one hand and slurping on his smoothie through a pink straw. 

She had no choice but to follow in his steps as she made herself a toast to munch on and sat beside him. 

It was the weekend, and from his movements being the opposite of hurried, as well as the cloudy weather outside that certainly wasn’t encouraging, he seemed as if he wasn’t planning on leaving the house. 

This caused her mind to come up with all sorts of positions they could do it around the apartment - how he could ravage her on the kitchen counter, grip her against the wall or let her ride him on the couch. All of that, playing in her imagination, while he kept slurping on his smoothie and not tearing his gaze away from the paper. 

She almost choked on her toast when he suddenly stretched a little and let out a wheeze, followed by a deep grunt. Was he doing it on purpose? 

Her legs involuntarily clamped together when the wetness in between them started getting uncomfortable. She hastily stood up and went to put her dish away, when in reality turning her back on him was the only way she could get her eyes off of his frame. Leaning against the counter, she could almost feel his arms crawling around her waist, his lips beside her ear, his familiar scent taking over her senses...

“Did I not leave you satisfied last night? Do you still want me?” His whisper made her heart jump in surprise as he suddenly appeared behind her. “You look like you want me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She tried to keep her voice steady. Could he feel the heat coming from between her thighs? She hoped not. 

“You don’t have to pretend. I would have to be blind to miss the way you look at me. Or even then, I could take ahold of you and immediately know that you want more.” His lips kept brushing against her skin as he spoke in a low voice, his hands already gripping her waist. “We’re alone. Completely alone at my place, undisturbed. Do you think I would just let you be?” 

An uncontrolled gasp left her mouth when his tone, his words and the warmth of his body took the better of her. Her head rolled back to rest against his chest. “Please. Please, take me.” 

He smirked, tightening the embrace around her.

“Oh, I will. We’ve got a whole day and night ahead of us. You will have to come up with new nicknames, sweetheart.” 

[justgottafinishthischapter]

Making a Fictional Language

So you’re writing a story where you want to create a fictional language. That’s great. Only problem is, you’re not quite sure how to go about it. Fear not, I have a few tricks up my sleeve that I use myself when constructing a language. Now of course, before we can discuss how to build a conlang, it’s worth mentioning what a conlang is.

The term “Conlang” is short-hand for Constructed Language. What this means is that the language is fully realized and fully formed with proper grammar, an expansive dictionary, and could theoretically be learned and used in day-to-day conversation. A Conlang is not a real language. It doesn’t exist in our real world. But it’s well formed enough that it could be learned and spoken with a wide reach of use. Examples of Conlangs include Klingon, High Valyrian, Dothraki, and Na’vi. There are some lesser forms of Conlangs such as Functional Languages. That is, languages that exist only to say a few words. Before being turned into an official language for the show, Valyrian had very few words. It was the job of a linguist to construct a language around the fundamentals that George established in his books. Another example is Atlantean from the Disney movie Atlantis: the Lost Empire. There is just as much Atlantean as needed for the script and nothing else, and if you wanted to learn the Atlantean word for fire, you’ve gotten your hopes up for nothing. Some are also simply text-based, such as Hylian in the Legend of Zelda. It uses different symbols, but it all directly translates to the Japanese language, making it just a re-skinned version of Japanese.

So, how does one actually build a conlang? Honestly, a good first step is to do some research on Phonetics. But the crash course is this: a Phoneme is the simplest sound you can make. There’s an international phoenetic alphabet (IPA) that you can find tons of online. Every distinct sound made by human language has a specific symbol to represent the sound. Learning to read these symbols and the sounds they make will make it easier to find sound links between words. Now, let’s get to the actual methods and the steps involved.

Method 1: The Library

You may have heard of a Sound Library before. For sound technicians, a sound library is a database of sound effects and noises they can Foley into film projects. Building a language can work the same way. In the Librarian method, look through the list of IPA and look for the sounds you want to use in your language. Think about the tone of the language, and whether you’re looking for something softer or harsher, and the kind of culture the people have. Once you have your library of phonemes, it’s just a question of how you want to go about forming words. You could roll die to decide syllables and which sounds to use, you could play it by ear, you could compare to languages you want to sound like. The main appeal of this method is that it creates a great consistency with the sound of a language.

Method 2: The Language Blender

You know you want your language to sound coarse and rough but you’re not sure how to make it sound that way? A good method I like using is taking common words that your world would use, such as Fire or Sun, and translate it into about 3-5 languages that fit the sound you’re trying to invoke. Once you have all of your words translated, you have two paths. Option 1: Find the middle ground. If 3/5 of your words had the letters ma next to each other, chances are, that’s a good pair of letters to carry over to your own language. Option 2: Take your real life languages and put them through the Language Mixer on Chaoticshiny.com. A major benefit of this method is systematically learning words in other languages, and even seeing the etymological roots that tie languages together. The one downside of this language building format is that you may end up with words that don’t mix well together, or as they mix, you find that the sounds of the words don’t tend to mesh well, so it’s important to have a Base Language, the root language you build your fictional language around. No matter what, include at least part of the translation from this language, and you’ll be more grounded in your approach. 

Method 3: The Root System

This is a conlang creating system I learned from Artifexian on Youtube, and I’ll link the video he made right [here] if you want to see it for yourself. He has a lot of great world building videos and I love his content, so don’t be shy about giving him your likes and support because he talks about a lot of the world building aspects people tend to gloss over, myself included. What this method does is it focuses on forming root words that then lead into forming other words.

This is a root system language sheet I designed based on my own fantasy world. In their culture, running water is associated with healing and cleaning because it carries off dirt and other foul things and wipes them away. For this reason, rivers have associations with cleanliness, healing, and life. And this is something worth keeping in mind when building your own language. How does the culture itself interact with the word you are describing? For instance, the reason we say “vandalize” to mean to destroy someone else’s property is because of the Vandal barbarians that plagued Europe during the last legs of the Roman Empire. Heck, the term Flanderize isn’t even that closely linked to the Simpsons, but it emerged as a result of Ned Flanders’ character becoming stock and one-note, which led to the creation of the term. When it comes to actually building the dictionary, this can be a really useful step. So, for example, let’s say the word for River in my language was Asar. A boatman might be Asarii, much like how we have work and worker, fight and fighter, dance and dancer, the suffix of -ii denotes someone who does the root term, in this case, they go on the river. Meanwhile, a fisher could be Asarakii, having Asar mean river, -ak as a suffix for a thing living in the river, and the -ii as a suffix for those who catch the things that live in the river. And for something more abstract like River of Time or River of Stars, you might get something like Asarag Talari.

UNIVERSAL CONLANG TIPS

Keep in mind the people the language exists for. if you’re creating a conlang for dragons, reptiles don’t have lips, so the labial sounds of [p], [b], [f], [v], and possibly even sounds that require lip shaping such as [o], [u], and [w] might not fit the creatures that need to be speaking. Furthermore, if the culture exists before global communication and they live next to the ocean, chances are, they won’t have a word for camel, desert, or sandstorm unless it’s a desert port city. This is why Dothraki has words for every kind of horse and no word for thank-you.

Remember that certain sounds can be switched around. Throughout human language, I’ve learned that certain letters can easily be switched out for each other, and this is in part due to linguistics history. Most of the letters that can be exchanged I actually realized while studying Grimm’s Law and the evolution of language, and by looking at Welsh in particular. In Welsh, the way to write a [f] sound is to write it as ff. When just one f is by itself, it becomes [v]. The sounds of [d], [t], [θ], and [ð] share a similar connection, as do [k] and [g], [ʃ] and [ꭓ], and [b] and [p]. So changing between these similar sounds could prove to be a useful strategy for mixing up your language.

You absolutely have to create a grammar system or you’re going to make a huge mess. That means word order, syntax, suffixes, tense, conjugation, and whatever else is needed. If it helps, learn how another language conjugates its terms. In Sumerian, the phrase “I am your king” is Lugdalzuimen. Lugdal means King, zu is your, and imen means “I am”. So word order is Object Possessive Subject. Then in the phrase Sesguene imes means “they are my brothers”. In actual word order it translates out as “brother my -s they are”. Now we see that the word order is Object Possessive Pluralization Subject. In the phrase Dumuninlagasakak, it becomes child queen Lagas of of. Meaning child [queen of Lagas] of or Child of the Queen of Lagas. By understanding how this language structures itself, something like the phrase River of Stars I made earlier could now be broken down to be something like Asartalariag (River Star -s of). I find it helps in this case to word it as “River star many of” to get “river of many stars” to figure out when the pluralizing suffix would be applied.

Resources:

Wiktionary.com

Chaoticshiny.com

http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/definitionlookup (for all of your ancient greek translation needs. Set it to Latin transliteration)

http://www.abair.tcd.ie/?lang=eng (because Google Translate doesn’t sound out Irish words)

https://www.wordreference.com/enfr/ (it’s set English to French, but it has a lot of languages, and it’s great because it also teaches you slang uses of words.)

[dahniwitchoflight]

Candy 22-23

hmm, interesting, so 5 minutes of Terezi time equals about 2 weeks of John time?

What’s the math on that, how many minutes are in a week? 10,080? Neat.

what’s that divided by 5? 2016?

so time is moving almost 2000 times faster for John than it is for Terezi?

a Day for Terezi is literally 5 and a half Years for John by that Math.

All of John’s conversations have been happening over the course of not even 2 full days for Terezi so far, and by John’s estimation that she only ever messages every year or so

that turns out to be like, every 260 minutes for Terezi?? If my math is correct? (525,600 minutes / 2016 = 260 minutes = 4.333... hours)

4 and 1/3 hours.

oh my god, Terezi and John talk literally every 4 hours and 20 minutes that’s hilarious they turned 413 into a 420 weed joke that’s amazing

I wonder if Terezi takes his convo’s seriously or just think it’s an extended prank that their both neck deep in at this point? I mean, they joke with eachother a lot and he literally messages her what seems from her point of view, literally every 4:20 (Trolls understand weed jokes because I said so and because it’s funny)

Does he ever send her pic’s of what they all look like as adults? Does she think it’s badly like, photoshopped or something like what she used to do with Dave?

Or does she really know? Either way is interesting to be honest

Wait, did Gamzee make out Jake’s/Jane’s son Tavros?? Why is John so nonchalant about that?

or is it a different Tavros???

I’m confused, or maybe not, John’s going straight into a line that says take Tavros away from his family. what the fuck is Gamzee doing.

So I guess this is what happens to all non canon timelines? They get torn to shreds by the inevitable cosmic background blender that is the giant black hole thing in Meat?

Oh god Jane made a crockership, yeah we’re in the nosedive of all of Jane’s unsavoury tendencies made manifest

we don’t need a tiara here, this was carefully manifested and nurtured to happen by another guy who all fell into the worst version of himself

Sad to see karkat and dave seperated too, but interesting karkat finally got fed enough enough to lead a resistance

this friend circle is really going down the shits

but then again, kind of was to be expected, i mean, it’s not like they were all actually friends, there wasn’t really much of an extended friend circle for the alpha kids. its a stretch to even say John and Jane were close friends because they didn’t really have much interaction with each other either

Jane and Jake is pretty much a lost cause, Dirk is dead and also encouraging her downfall, and Roxy is totally accepting of everything around her for better or worse, and Calliope and Jane were never close not to mention Calliope seems content to just follow Roxy everywhere

there’s literally no one actually close enough to Jane to have an actual “i care about you’re my friend” conversation with that would actually feel genuine, so it’s kind of inevitable she’d end up like this in this sort of situation with no one to help her steer her course

John’s getting desperate to feel some sense of reality again, that picture of Terezi is almost like an anchor in the storm

he’s only attached to his reality because of his personal investment into it, like he’s too deep in it now to ever escape, not because he really truly cares and is happy I think but because he’s put so much effort into making this all work

Also damn, he’s really gonna kidnap Tavros, but i mean like, I don’t blame him if apparently his sort of father clown figure has been making out with him as part of a religious cult nonsense i hope im interpreting that wrong but he literally says PBandJ again and says Tavros, so like, who else could he mean

Fake redemption nonsense finally going down the toilet where it belongs

but damn, John’s gonna start a war I can see it now, this is gonna pop Jane’s cork and for all we know she could easily use it as an excuse to attack trolls by blaming the kidnapping on them

You know what is so interesting about this though?

Jane was raised by the condesce, and feared alternian society like it was inherent to trollkind

but here she is displaying that same tyranny in the name of humanity, it does a good job of showing this bullshit isn’t inherent to any person or race

but man, it is ironic how much of a mini Condesce Jane is becoming, complete with her own Grand High Blood too, while fighting what she probably considers tyrannical trollkind

It’s cute how Harry talks in a lighter Roxier shade of blue though, unfortunately due to the name I can imagine anything except Harry Potter being their actual child, Harry Anderson as a figure means nothing to me even though I know the reference and the picture that shows up in Homestuck I get the joke

Maybe it’s because it’s also Roxy’s child and she always had a thing for wizards so

Tavros talking in a dark purple is less endearing, because it so clearly shows that despite supposedly being a product of love between Jane and Jake, Gamzee as a weird third interloper has entirely taken over this family

Gamzee being the auspistice for Jane and Jake doesn’t sound good. Weird that he’s seen as like an Uncle figure too. This family is messed up to hell.

mmm.. I don’t think Jake and Jane are in a kismesis...

*UPSETTING CHILD ABUSE CONTENT AHEAD*

I don’t like how uncomfortable Tavros seems to be with an uncle figure taking him up to his bedroom im getting all kinds of bad child abuse vibes, not from john god no but like, Tavros seems so expectant of something to happen and that’s not pairing well with what Gamzee has apparently been doing

“Tavros sighs, his facial expression unchanging. He looks resigned. To life in general, as well as whatever it is he’s expecting from this particular situation. Wait... what is he expecting from this situation, having been led away to a secluded part of the house by an adult? What has he been taught to expect?“

I don’t like this. John please kidnap the child. Even though it’s going to start a war.

No I don’t like where this is going this is getting a big gigantic NOPE for me

Oh fuck okay, so it hasn’t happened yet, big relief there

but almost, still warning sirens going off in my head because

“JOHN: TRAIN you???

TAVROS: Yes,

TAVROS: In matters of combat,,, philosophy,,, life,,, love,,,

TAVROS: I suppose to behave the way a mentor does, as he sees it,,,”

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT GAMZEE BEING A DIRK GAUGE

Is “Combat, Philosophy, Life, Love” just like symbolism for the four shitty ingredients of Lord English symbolically mixed together? Like yeah they don’t all sound bad when you put it that way but really it’s like

Combat = Physical Abuse = Caliborn

Philosophy = Religious Cult = Gamzee

Love = Obsession = Equius

Life = Dominance and Power = Dirk

Every shitty part of the LE soul combo contributes something bad to the whole

uh oh, they’ve been found out by Jade

Jade’s not exactly gonna throw him to the big bad wolf, but is she just gonna disagree with his actions? Or is she gonna try to stop him.

or argue? argue’s good, sure, not really but sure

Everyone knows Jane’s gone to shit, but everyone’s too cowardly to stand up to her and tell her she’s wrong

oh shit, speaking of

oh, well, that didn’t go how i wanted it to

John got so close to saying something that could break through to Jane, but Karkat was right, she couldn’t get her head out of her ass long enough to listen to what was being said to her, and instead immediately jump to conclusions about what she thinks people are talking about

she probably think everyone hates her suddenly because of her political ideas and thinks its ridiculous thats everyones getting so mad at her for it, head so far up the ass she should be turning into a fourth dimensional pretzel by now

even though this could have all have been avoided if someone just had enough bravery to nip it in the bud, so instead of angry raze the ground retaliatory action she could have just been embarassed and angry in the personal and then gotten over it in a few weeks

but nope, genocidal war in the works now

oof

just big oof

gotta say though, I’m sitting practically eating gigantic mounds of popcorn at the drama (Besides the one part that was implying gamzee was sexually abusing tavros before they made it clear he wasn’t, I could do without that one honestly)

other than that though, loving the drama, feel bad for the people getting the shit end of the sticks though

[kitchennoobfood]

A Better Fruit Smoothie-- Two Variations

If you’re still putting ice cubes in your smoothies, stop right now. It just makes them grainy, crunchy, and watery without adding any real flavor or substance. It also makes it melt faster.

All you really need for a good fruit smoothie is frozen fruit and a liquid to thin it with, but I’ll give my two basic, go-to recipes that make a really tasty (and totally healthy) smoothie that is actually smooth, and doesn’t feel like you’re chewing glass shards because of the ice.

Blueberry Pomegranate Smoothie

Ingredients:

One fresh banana, cut into chunks

Two handfuls frozen blueberries

One scoop vanilla protein powder OR large scoop vanilla yogurt of choice

Pomegranate juice (enough to get to desired consistency)

Directions:

Put the banana in first, then the powder/yogurt, then the blueberries. This keeps the powder from sticking to the sides, but also helps the blender actually get started instead of getting stuck on thick frozen berries.

Pour in enough pomegranate juice to almost meet the top of the banana layer.

Blend in pulses, adding small amounts of juice if it gets stuck. Continue blending until you reach your desired consistency. (I like mine soft-serve fro-yo consistency, and I eat it with a spoon. Don’t judge.)

“Sunshine” Fruit Smoothie

Ingredients:

Frozen strawberries (slices are easier to deal with)

Frozen peach slices or chunks

Frozen mango chunks

Can pineapple chunks (with juice)

Peach yogurt

Optional: kiwi slices, or banana slices; orange juice

Directions:

Spoon about half a cup of peach yogurt into the blender first. If using any banana or kiwi, add it in on top. Don’t use a lot of banana, tho, it will make the end product very thick and you won’t taste as much of the citrus. (Kiwi can make it kind of crunchy because of the seeds on top of the strawberry seeds already in there. It be tasty tho)

Place a handful each of frozen strawberries, peaches, and mangoes into a bowl. Rinse them under lukewarm water, just enough that the outer edges get mildly squishy. This keeps the blender from locking up, because frozen strawberries and peaches get HARD. Separate any stuck-together pieces, and place them all into the blender on top of the yogurt.

Open your canned pineapple, toss in about half a cup of the chunks, and drain the juice into a separate container. Store the leftover pineapple, but leave the juice out because you’ll need it in a minute.

Start blending in pulses, and once the yogurt has been blended with some of the fruit, add in some of the pineapple juice. If using orange juice, you can also add some of it in here. Keep blending and adding juice(s) until you reach your desired consistency.

It’s kind of silly to make a recipe for a smoothie, I know, but basically what I’m saying is use frozen fruit instead of ice. Also, be aware of how you layer in the blender, putting the frozen fruit in first makes it way harder than it has to be.

Tips:

-You can make any kind of smoothie you want by starting with frozen fruit, up to two fresh fruits, and adding some kind of flavored liquid to it. Juice, milk, soymilk/almond milk, even something like heavy whipping cream (that’ll make it very fluffy). Yogurt is always optional, but adds a nice texture and a good amount of protein.

-Don’t add citrus juice and cow’s milk to the same smoothie, or at least not at the same time, or the milk will start curdling. Try mixing in the milk first, then add the citrus juice at the end. Citrus fruit and milk is generally fine unless it’s fresh pineapple.

-It always makes more than you think it will. I know it doesn’t look like a lot, but take it from my own experience and hubris, under-estimate rather than putting in another handful of blueberries. Unless you have a buddy with you to help you eat the mass amounts of leftovers, you will regret it.

-You can shove tons of spinach into a fruit smoothie and you’ll hardly ever notice a taste difference.

-Get a long spoon handy for poking the smoothie down and stirring it; sometimes air bubbles form around the blades. Never stir while the blender is spinning!

-Frozen fruit is way cheaper than fresh, except for when fresh fruit is in season and on sale. Consider buying a ton of fresh fruit during those times and cutting/freezing yourself. Freezer ziploc bags are where it’s at.

-If you want to use nut butter in your smoothies, layer it in between fruits (or halves of the banana). This will keep it from sticking to either the blades or the sides, and will ensure it gets all mixed in.

-Quick blender clean: rinse til you see no visible grime, add two drops of dish soap, water up to the first or second line, dry the bottom, and return it to the base. Blend that sucker into a froth. Rinse. Clean! (This shouldn’t replace regular deep cleaning of blenders, you still have to disassemble it every once in a while, and especially if you blended something really thick, sticky, or fibrous. But it does save time.)