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#im quite tired rn lol
dakotafoxart · 2 years
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Paintboo in progress 🎨
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livsspecialinterests · 6 months
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idk what specific pathology is responsible for this but whenever I feel bad I literally cannot comprehend ever not feeling bad again
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widevibratobitch · 6 months
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#im so tired of this lalalalalalalalaa#something is Wrong lol#i really need this therapy on wednesday but guess WHAT im not going. im going to a funeral instead 🤡#and ill be singing in that stupid fucking church because have to but i dont fucking wanna i hate doing it and i hate churches#all i feel rn is the overwhelming urge to selfdestruct and like obv im not gonna kms now#but im so fucking angry that im not even *allowed* to do that anymore. like it was such a comfort all this time to know that i can just Quit#and now i cant because guess what someone has to take care of my mother 🫠 and im so fucking tired of being someone people depend on#to handle THEIR feelings and THEIR emotions and just take it all with humility and acceptance and kindness and never snap and bite back#like i dont WANNA hear about your dead husband i dont wanna hear about your stupid fucking boyfriend#i dont wanna hear about the new guy/girl who's hitting on you because you're so hot and perfect#i dont wanna be responsible for how people feel. i should just shut up and take it and be humble and never ask or expect anything back#but when is it MY turn to call at 1 am crying about how im tired and want to kms#or to start expecting shit of people and allow myself to get properly angry at them for not meeting those expectations#or to braggingly 'complain' about something the other person clearly lacks without any consideration for their feelings#or to just openly cry and say deeply personal shit without any filter not caring if that other person is clearly uncomfortable af#because *i* need it right now and i need someone to listen and let them worry about how to even respond to that stuff#im just so tired of people expecting shit of me im tired of being made responsible even tho i clearly cannot handle that responsibility#i wanna be mean i wanna snap and get angry and openly say that i dont give a shit and am tired and cant listen to this rn#but i cant because i have to be a motherfucking mother theresa and never dare to demand something for myself#and idk where that comes from. idk if it's coming from the fanatic catholicism of my childhood or my mother or just from myself and idc#i just feel so horrible and guilty and wrong for wanting anything for myself#and it once again feels like im making myself the victim and the tortured martyr here when i should just shut up and take it#i just wanna lie down and die and not care about who'll get angry or judge or blame me for it im tired and i dont know what to do#i want someone to take care of ME and reassure ME and make ME feel like i matter and that they really will help me if i ever need it#and that they'd be kinda sad if i were gone not because i had a role to fulfill that i failed at by killing myself but because i am a person#<- math calculations flying around my head as i come to the terrible realisation#of just why exactly im so deeply obsessed with my voice teacher (aside from her being literally the most beautiful woman alive lol) 🤡#like babygirl stop being so utterly overwhelmingly kind to me my knees are weak i would do anything for you queen and I MEAN IT
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oops-its-a-fanwork · 7 months
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Just got a notification for 500 likes! Thank you for all who leave a little like, and especially thank you to those who leave tags or comments! It's nice to see people enjoying what I make :)💖 I will start scheduling some reblogs at some point, since I do not have any finished new posts. I am working on some things though! just very slowly due to other things in my life ;)
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butchfaith · 1 year
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on the one hand i want to read more about people's experiences with cfs so i can get tips and support but on the other hand it's. fucking heartbreaking and also so so scary
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pepprs · 2 years
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god my throat is raw from yelling / panicking. And part of me is wary wondering if it’ll happen again. omgggg
#purrs#i think i knew it was a false alarm it just didn’t feel real. but what fucked me up is that i couldn’t t honk of what to bring. i knew we#we’re close to an exit so we would be fine and i know you’re not supposed to delay getting out and that the stuff is just stuff. but my#journals and diaries.. like i brought them all here for some new years reflections and i couldn’t bring myself to bring any of them. or my#sketchbook. or my switch or ds with my animal crossing town. idk. i guess smth flashed through my head like so much of what matters to me#is digital now but that’s not fucking true at all. why did i have a hard time deciding and brought nothing when my sketchbook is the most#important thing i have i think bc it’s my scrapbook / diary. it just fucked me ip so bad. now im staring at the ceiling and my throat hurts#and im going to be so tired tomorrow. that was so scary#we didn’t even make it outside bc the alarm stopped before we left the room bc we were scrambling to find coats and masks (lol) and them my#mom called the front desk and they said it was a false alarm. so idk. for those 45 seconds it could’ve been life or death and that’s so much#to think about. everything important went out the window it was just like wtf is even happening rn and my dad said it was a fire and i was l#like how do you know. ugh. that was so scary#like what fucked me up was. all the pieces of me are spread so thin in so many journals and shit that idk which one to bring. i would have t#to take the complete collection. and i can’t do that so i have to leave all of them. that’s the choice i made in that primal moment. it#QUITE LITERALLY does not matter and is not the most important part of this to be worried abt / fucked up over but that really shook me
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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...
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pyrriax · 1 year
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what if i just waited to post stuff until i've got my current three Ideas written
just post em all back to back and then sleep for a week
[ !! venting in the tags !! ]
#haunted ecosystem#haunt's feeling: a lil burnt out! been writing a bunch for literally going on four months stragiht#i mean the state of the world is NOT helping with this fact. plus also uuuuuuh trauma anniversary kicking me in the nuts rn#normally i dont mention that shit but it is def hitting me hard. we stay silly tho i'm just mega tired rn#might just designate myself a two week break again and relax a lil. i've been on a like. kinda drawing kick? i hate drawing though#i really wanna just watch another pov of outsiders and just think abt silly aus. i love coming up with stuff for wtds but ALSO i just. wa.#lotta thoughts. words just arent quite working!#we're approaching the final stretch and so much of this is so specific in my head that i don't wanna mess it up#also like this one stupid comment that wasn't even mean is just eat at me and i wish it wasn't lol#usually the comments are just funny but like. idk. it was a neutral/negative thing and was the first response i heard abt that chapter#which sucks! i love chapter 20! it was half the fucking reason i wanted to write wtds!#i wanted to share what lead up to that :( i wanted to share the story and the everything and just. ugh.#that stupid comment had me rethinking posting it. which. sucks.#rsd hits like bricks when you aren't mentally prepared for negative feedback#uuuuuuuuh#sorry i just. needed to say it#sorry for venting in tags </3#ok yeah my words are just giving up on me im gonna just close my laptop and go do. something#maybe just watch some streams and remake my bed.#that reminds me i really should stop sleeping on the floor. that's more mental energy than i have rn though so.#i guess i'll change the sheets and see how i feel. not being on the floor would probably be a good idea#ok im just gonna#added a warning in the post lol#normally i try and keep my blog light hearted!! i want to keep my blog light hearted but. sometimes its just how it is#i might end up scrapping some of the work i did because i accidentally projected some shit onto pandora that. doesnt fit ig?#it was an accident but it happened anyway#love the lines. not sure they work.#i should finish that one fic that's been rotting in my drafts. c!emduo is something i haven't written in literally a year#project on a character i CAN project on.#anyways i'm gonna post this and just. close tumblr. im tired
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mobtism · 2 years
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i am. so stressed
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valsdelulucorner · 1 month
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obey me headcannons because why not
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Lucifer is so strict with his brothers because he doesn't want what happened to Lilith to happen to them, he cant bare to loose another sibling. His back is also extremely fucked over from his massive workload and from when he lost afew of his wings, his wing bones were connected to his spine so when he lost those, his back has never truly been the same.
Mammon is actually alot smarter then people think, this man is a absolute legend at counting, multiplying and maths. He may be dense and stupid at times but the mans a legend at math, i like the idea that if your studying with him he helps you out with maths, feeling smug and proud when he helps you get answers right. I also like the idea that he has many piercing holes but is just not bothered to more then two in at a time, if its a fancy event or if its a club event, he'll put more in
Levi is either scrawny or has some chub, you cannot change my mind. The only exercise he gets is chasing mammon around or running around for events. That man survives off of energy drinks and sugary foods, i cant seeing him having full blown rock hard abs, maybe some, but not rock hard abs like beel. I also like the headcannon that he has scales around his neck, cheeks and forehead, another reason he has his fringe covering his eyes.
Satan has alot of scars and scratches on his hands from punching walls, attempting to pet wild kitties and from other things to get his anger out. I feel like when Asmo come in to redo Satan's nails, he draws over the little scars with pen, making them into little flowers or hearts
Asmo has dry skin around his nose from how much moisture he normally has on his face thanks to face masks, skin care and make up. The buildup of all of the produce and the fact there is almost always something on his face has left his skin a little dry to his liking so he adds more product to fix it. I also love thinking about how asmo probably has some faint freckles over his shoulders and nose but he normally hides them, he doesn't want to be seen as anything but perfect.
Beel is not a child so people should stop treating him like one, he has sworn, he has killed and eaten people before, he is a 1000+ year old demon who has seen some shit go down, people should stop infantizing him. Beel has stretch marks around his torso and arms, from constantly working out to eating half of devildom, i feel like his body changes rapidly due to his diet and his working out. He also has matching bracelets with Belphie, his one has a charm of the sun.
Belphie is either dead quite or the loudest snorer, there is no in-between. He could probably be so quite that his brothers loose him for a good day or two, when they think they've checked everywhere belphie starts snoring, leading them straight to him. He also sleeps in the most random spots aswell, next to the potted plant, standing in the middle of the corridor, behind the door, you name it. When this man is tired and done for the day, he will find a way to sleep.
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5th time saying im back but its been a busy week, exams have been kicking my ass rn, not to mention I have a biology exam tomorrow morning so yay, fun times
I havent done this in a while, im starting to get back into the groove of things lol
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holllandtrash · 2 years
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soft (dog) launch | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x influencer reader (korean reader, sora park face claim)
soft launch of their relationship but it's solely through the instagram account of their dog
yourusername
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liked by yourbestfriend, charles_leclerc and 211,875 others 
yourusername good morning
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yourbestfriend it is quite literally 7:30 at night
yourusername not in hawaii
charles_leclerc added to their story
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charles_leclerc
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liked by yourusername, pierregasly and 477,198 others
tagged: rivayacht
charles_leclerc sea day with the best co-captain
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scuderiaferrari we expect to see your co-captain in the paddock after the break🫡🫡
landonorris no way that dog has its boating license
pierregasly you two look alike
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sunni_f1fan charles got a puppy?????
starlightpierre that man does not have time to take care of a puppy 💀
yourusername added to their story
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yourusername
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liked by yourbestfriend, bellathetravelingpup and 197,559 others 
tagged: bellathetravelingpup
yourusername hawaii dump
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bellathetravelingpup thanks for taking me on this trip mum!!
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bellathetravelingpup
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liked by yourusername, charlesleclerc and 892 others 
bellathetravelingpup i wonder where we're going next
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yourbestfriend i can't believe you made an insta for your dog
yourusername it wasn't my idea believe it or not
welldonejanessa charles follows a dog finsta im laughing so hard
russell63s AND THE DOG FINSTA FOLLOWS CHARLES LOL
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charles_leclerc
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liked by yourusername, scuderiaferrari and 392,883 others
tagged: dior
charles_leclerc always a pleasure dior
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f1 😍😍😍😍
lecler1016 i can't be the only one who saw y/n's story post of her dior bag
luvgrussell I SAW THAT!! valtterisuns but is bella in monaco with them? that's the important question
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bellathetravelingpup
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liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 773 others 
bellathetravelingpup mum says we can't stay in monaco, where should we go next?
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charles_leclerc how about london?
bellathetravelingpup what a good idea!!!! spideystroll im screaming and crying
paddockgf oh to be bella in monaco rn
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bellathetravelingpup
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liked by yourusername, pierregasly and 1,872 others 
bellathetravelingpup dad took me to work with him, he says tyres don't make good beds but i think they're comfy
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scuderiaferrari she's just warming up the tyres
yourusername if she fits she sits
liked by charles_leclerc
pierregasly i can't believe i'm following an instagram for a dog
bellathetravelingpup i can't believe pierre gasly liked my picture🐶
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bellathetravelingpup added to their story
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scuderiaferrari
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liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 335,918 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
scuderiaferrari Bravissimo Charles 👊 P1 for the first race back! Starting the second half of the season off strong💪
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charles_leclerc ❤️❤️
swiftysainz BELLA AND Y/N WHERE THERE TO SEE HIM WIN!!
hamilsuns but she wasn't in the crowd celebrating 😥😥 albonscar on f1tv there was a quick pan to her in the back of the ferrari garage holding bella!! it probably wasn't safe to bring bella out into a crowd like that
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bellathetravelingpup dad won which means he gets extra cuddles
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yourbestfriend who wrote that caption
yourusername bella did
landos4is we are once again relying on bella's instagram for charles and y/n content
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liked by yourbestfriend, charles_leclerc and 384,889 others 
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername congrats c❤️ i don't think i'll ever get tired of watching you race (also pictured: me using bella to wipe my tears .5 seconds after you won)
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charles_leclerc my favorite girls❤️🐶
paddockgf FINALLLLYY HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH
yourbestfriend bella looks so confused
yourusername she just wanted to chase the cars landonorris you should have let her, she probably would have lapped albon alex_albon i would have let bella win
requests are open
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zyonsay · 10 months
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Two for One LN4&OP81
Fem aligned people may read but not f3tishize my work!!
Summary: You and Oscar decide to try out Lando
Warnings: Calling it suggestive is a far stretch, but yeah
Now playing: 'Popular' by the Weeknd
AN: loads of cuddling, i absolutely hate cuddling but i love the idea of it <3 Also this one is very short, but its the middle of the night in my country rn so im quite tired lol
Anyways, im gonna get fucked over by a Physics exam tomorrow, wish me luck!
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Lando knew it was wrong to chat you up. But he just couldn’t resist that dress shirt with the top few buttons left open, or your sweet, longing eyes. He was grinding against you, enjoying the music, and taking another sip of his drink, when- Shit.
Oscar had his eyes set on Lando, while he was dancing with his boyfriend. The young brit almost started panicking, but before his nerves could go haywire, Oscar mischievously smiled over to him, then shot his boyfriend a knowing look. “He’s giving you permission, Lan”, you leaned backwards, pressing yourself further up against him. His perfume smelt incredible and laced your mind with a hazy feeling. Your words made Lando feel confident, as he left teasing kisses on your neck, locking eyes with a smug Oscar.
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the Aussie approaching you two. You snuck one of your hands onto Oscar’s chest. “Sorry to tell you mate, but we only come as two.”, you and your Boyfriend exchanged a quick look, before focusing on Lando.
“I’d rather have both than none.”
And that’s how you ended up in this situation, it was 4 am and you were all in Oscars hotel room. The moon shone brightly, and the light lingered in the room. The balcony door was open, and a certain curly-haired brit was leaning against the railing, enjoying the fresh air. You were awake, Lando’s shuffling had woken you up. With Oscars arm around you, pulled closely to his chest you couldn’t exactly move to see what Lando was up to.
Though shortly after, he made his way back to bed, he then noticed you facing him, while the Aussie behind you nuzzled into you. ‘Lay back down’, you whispered softly, smiling at the man standing by the edge of the bed. That was convincing enough for him, he’d do anything for your sweet voice.
You pouted lightly as he laid quite far away from you and Oscar. With a swift turn you kissed the tip of Oscar’s nose, before turning back to Lando, pulling him towards you. A gentle wind played through the curtains of your room; the balcony was still open.
Now his head was resting against your chest, while you played with his dark curls. He could hear your heartbeat and he could smell your sweet scent, mixed with Oscars and his own. Breaths falling into a calm melody, you drifted back to sleep, pulling the two men around you closer.
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widevibratobitch · 1 year
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#coming to tumblr for the first time in three days just to bitch because i feel like shit <333#sorry if i havent responded to your message i will as soon as i get a grip but rn im just too busy#both with uni and with crying because a friend said a mean thing to me lol#and because im tired of this new friendship already and tired of hearing this girl talking how great she is lol#am i jealous? fuck yeah i am.#and it's not like she's mean like straight up. cause like.#when i say im really considering quitting and dropping out she tries to encourage me ig#but then she follows it up with 'ofc *I* never had a problem with this and that because it always just came naturally to me teehee#but yknow. dont give up uwu'#and she keeps sending me recordings of her singing to tell her how good she is and always tells me how her teacher praises her#and like. its cool. like i get it that its a nice feeling when you do something well and wanna share that joy with a friend#but idk. i just think its kinda. well not mean but a litt#*a little tone deaf? when ive just been telling her that im in a Bad Place rn and my voice isnt working as it should#and my pianist is bullying me and i end up crying on almost every lesson#and she hits me with a 'damn that sucks fuck that pianist dont give up tho <3#now do you wanna listen to me sing bel raggio lusinghier like a pro and my professor telling me i am sublime?'#also when i tell her that im sorry that im not very social and i just cannot stay and chat cause im having a horrible day today#and really dont feel well and she's like 'yeah i havent noticed anything you're always like that... *side eye*' in a way that suggests#im a horrible friend cause im not talking with her enough and yet again im disappointing her (aint that familiar lol)#i just. idk. the last two-three weeks have been absolutely horrible to me. i cant get out of bed i havent done a single colorful make up#in so long ive basically forgotten how to do that. and i loved doing fun make up looks that make people tell me i look like a clown.#but i just dont have the energy to do anything more than put on a random tshirt and spray dry shampoo on my unwashed hair#i dont even wear my rings anymore. ive stopped caring about being the pinkest slayest queerest looking bitch in the room cause i just. cant#and even some casual friend of mine asked me yesterday if im okay cause they can see something is Not Right. but SHE not only doesnt notice#anything. i have a feeling she feels like im disappoing and neglecting her because i cant be bothered to text with her 24/7#like idk. maybe its just my imagination but i barely even feel like an actual person. more like just a homunculus made to trail after her#and listen to her bragging about how pretty/talented/unbothered she is#oh and also for her to keep dissing m/ozart lol like idk why it hurts me so bad but then ig its not that unusual to feel shitty#when someone keeps talking shit about something you really love and are passionate about and making you feel like an idiot#because you like it. because its stupid and boring and you're a simpleton for enjoying it instead of liking sth more 'ambitious'
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nori-the-cat · 4 months
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a bit of a long ramble but
I'e been observing and following kpop on and off for some time because theres really not much other music out rn besides whatever is mainstream and even that doesnt always interest me enough. but I just wonder why so much of kpop has been so dramatic lately? lkke in these past few years online drama seems to increase surrounding idols especially and what idols do in their personal life doesnt need to be shared online like wtf and it just seems like every small thing for kpop groups tend to become big drama or their fans make it big drama all the time. thats why i watch from afar these days cause it seems anyone can have negative thing to say abt anyone whos in the kpop entertainment. even if there is some good things abt kpop music, overall it doesnt paint it in good light cause it make their fans seem like a pack of wild vultures who watch their idols like hawkes or ppl who cant seem to mind their business or let idols roam freely in their spare time cause smartphones seem to mean ppl can shove them in the idols face esp at airports.
its just kind of tiring most of the time like if people just liked it for the songs it wouldnt be so bad instead it seems to be one extreme or the other. i dont blame idols for never saying who they date bc look at what happened to karina and the actor. social media just spoils the fun of something and makes it into something else enitrely where its now often filled with dramas or toxic behaviours idfk whatever ppl post towards idols it only for them to get more negative reactions. i wouldnt be surprised if most idols are already dating but when it seem to get leaked in the media then ppl who are their fans act like it end of the world. i think the problem isnt social media itself but more so smartphones bc ppl who are more their hard core stans, i guess is the right word, they might go to extremes and they keep showing that extreme behaviour any time something doesnt sit right with them. like one minute the idol can be worshipped and next they can be tarnished so they cant really win anymore.
when ppl say that kpop is becoming westernised i only think thats in the sense of them adding foreigners nowadays to the groups, but the groups and their fans are still very much particular towards things like in 2024 i didnt expect idols dating to still be considered a scandal? whereas in the west they date who they want or idfk adult idols going out to clubs and drinking seem to surprise some folk. even the stuff in the media dont surprise me anymore cause it no a big deal to me at least. honestly with the way their fans behave online and irl towards idols theres one thing im glad abt and that is i will never have to deal with them or knetz lol.
its shame bc theres still so much kpop could bring to music but its so formatted and rigid or set in its ways of doing things. the other thing is they arent debuting older age idols who may have more life experiences and they may be more mentally prepared to handle such fans behaviours or they might have different style vocals and so on, so with that in mind im like its so awkward and horrible to even watch the way much younger idols get treated or mistreated, i should say, by their own fans and maybe by other adults that they work with.
other than whatever is mainstream there doesnt seem to be market for my age group anymore cause in kpop theyre debuting them too young and ik they always done that but it still feels weird to me to like a group whos 4/5/6 years younger than myself. id have loved an other group like btob or a smaller version of exo but nowadays it seems groups have nearly 30 smth members in them and they usually have to be quite young :/ if ateez had been my age it would seal the deal but i dont even care too deeply for them either its just once in awhile sort of thing i will like their songs why does it always have to be more than that?
like im no going to go doolally about every group nowadays either for this reason that my generation seems to be getting left out of a lot of things to do with kpop. like i honestly really feel old these days esp when i look at an idol and theyre like a 99liner or 00liner :O and kpop probs now considers 20 year olds too old as well :( fomo sets in too when u dont particularly care deeply abt dance challenges or latest internet fads cause i rather just like a group for their songs or their talent than their looks or their group position / personality whatever its called
lastly whoever date or marry bts i honestly feel so bad for them like they going to get so much media attention and their fans wont like it either so the internet will descend into more chaos when they marry if they arent already secretly married that is. it really sometimes often feels like the beatles but with the internet involved its 100x more crazy no matter the group it always has bunch of crazies who seem to twke it way too far
sorry for my long ramble
GUUUUUURRRRL please don’t be sorry for your long ramble. I had similar thoughts as you but I have come to terms with it, especially when I’m the same age as NCT 127 Jungwoo things in K-pop music has become less enjoyable too. Hence, I don’t know much about newer groups or groups outside of my interests ㅠ ㅠ
You also pointed out how fans can idolise their idols and drop them the next minute when they’re “wrong”, for example going to the club, dating, and having a life basically. I think all of this is the company’s fault. Take SM for example, I’m not comfortable in the direction that RIIZE is going with the booheju (girlfriend stan) stuff, but it’s what it makes money? Because of this, I’ve slowly detaching myself from them and only like their songs and I have one particular member that I like, he is Lee Sohee. I also like him because of his singing skill and that’s all.
Overall, I agree with you. Tbh it’s the parasocial relationship that is an issue. Some fans seeks comfort from their idol and the idol gives them that. However, often they forget that an idol job stops when they’re behind the camera. They have a life too. So, I’m with you on this too. I have started to like a group for their song and less about what is trendy or their looks and personality. Girl groups wise I’m into Aespa, NewJeans and BabyMonster. Their songs are right up my alley. Now, the younger idols debuting is a problem in it of itself. But this has happened way before in Kpop. Take Taemin for example, or NCT Dream Jisung. I think the main reason is that the younger they are, the easier to “manipulate” them or influence them. I guess if a company debuts someone above 25 years old, they’re going to have a hard time dealing with them because their pre-frontal cortex has developed.
that’s my easiest bet! 🤡
I’m also not Korean so I can’t say for certain this is true. However, I’m Asian. I realise Asian people put so much emphasis on good character. Because of this, idols are seen as role models and they are constantly judged and put on a pedestal. It’s kinda sad really. So, take Seunghan for example, whether his rumours are true or not. His scandal has been a huge part of his idol career and to some, it could look like there is no going back. In terms of fan wars, I think people on the internet are just bored or mean. Most fan wars started by some troll or a fan who likes to compare other idols. I don’t know much about fan wards but this is what I noticed. I’m pretty sure if BTS gets married, it is during the time of their life where they are not at their “prime”. That way is easier for them to be accepted by their fans and the South Korean. Take, Ryewook from Super Junior. He got married recently and the fans seem fine. But ofc, we can’t exclude the obsessive fans. I’m sure idols realise they have obsessive fans. In general, I’m pretty sure idols knows their consequences and downsides to being an idol. We as fans also have full control of our interests. The only thing becoming Westernised in kpop is the song and not the culture. 🤡
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oceanwithouthermoon · 8 months
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OKAY im posting this crappy wip kubosai one-shot because ive been lagging severely on writing... sorry if its cringe, its completely unedited rn</3
this is roughly 1800 words.. the actual wip is about 4000 LOL but i skipped a couple parts so this is about half the wip i guess..
Kusuo was sitting at his desk with his legs curled to his chest, glaring at nothing, when his phone dinged next to him. Already not in the best mood, he sneered as his eyes snapped over to the device. The noise had disturbed one of his favorite pastimes; being moody for no reason and doing nothing, and the bright light was equally disturbing. When he looked over, it also shone the time as "1:36am" which ruined his blissful unawareness of how long he'd been brooding. His unusually accurate internal clock could have told him that, really, but Kusuo would never pass up an opportunity to be mad about something stupid.
His eyes softened significantly when he caught sight of what the notification actually was. A text from contact name "Kuboyasu Aren" with no contact picture. Yeah, that was how Kusuo kept all his contacts. Super boring and super normal.
He clenched his teeth, trying to bring his anger from before back after realizing how much and how easily his mood lifted just reading his classmate's name.
His phone had gone back to a black screen before Kusuo could read the actual contents of the message, so he begrudgingly unfurled himself from his position with a heavy sigh. He planted his feet back on the floor just a bit too aggressively and swiped up his phone as he stomped over to his bed to flop himself down on it.
When he finally turned his phone back on, the notification read “3m ago” and he clicked on it.
The message read, “hey princess when u wake up do u wanna hangout ??!? could i come overrr tomorrow please”
Annoying lack and misuse of punctuation, but Kusuo has learned that this tends to be the norm in texting, especially with other teenagers. In all fairness, the way Kusuo texts isn't very conventional either. He made fun of Toritsuka’s severe overuse of emojis once, and then immediately got ganged up on by all of the self proclaimed ‘PK psychickers’ because he tends to overuse emoticons in the same way. He doesn't know how else to express himself over text, alright? He learned to text only from his mom, Akechi, and Aiura and this is just how it turned out.
And for your information, the stupid princess pet name was just some silly thing Kuboyasu had gotten in the habit of doing lately. Trust Kusuo when he says it's much more embarrassing when he says it out loud, especially at school, than when he texts it, though knowing that his name in Kuboyasu’s contacts was “My Princess :)” was probably even worse.
Anyway, Kuboyasu had clearly made the assumption that Kusuo would be sleeping at this hour. Well, usually he would be. Kusuo LOVES getting his sleep in, but he just so happened to have taken a very long nap earlier that day, so he had a late dinner, and subsequently a late dessert. So, his usually abnormally fast metabolism hadn't quite been rid of all the sugar and caffeine he'd consumed not long ago. A series of unfortunate events, really, which culminated in him not being tired enough to sleep yet. At least he got to get in his usual ‘angrily staring at nothing for no reason’ time that he accidentally skipped because of his nap, although that did just get interrupted too.
So finally, he responded to Kuboyasu with, “I'm awake. (-.-;) Sure, I guess.”
Kuboyasu read the message and began typing unnervingly quickly after it was sent. “really ?!?!? also y r u awake lol i thought u would be asleep hours ago”
The poor guy probably wasn't expecting him to say yes immediately. Kusuo usually would argue about it for a bit before giving in to the teasing and pleading of his self proclaimed friends. It was way too late (/early) to play that game right now though, he knew he would just say yes in the end anyway. It had nothing to do with him actually wanting to see the dumb former punk who he had been unusually close with lately.
The taller boy just GOT him in a way other people never did. His undying loyalty and honesty was a refreshing contrast from many of the other people the psychic was often forced to be around. Loyal, honest, strong, romantic, protective. Not that those last few things affected the way he interacted with Kusuo or anything…
Kusuo replied again, “Yes. And I usually would be, but… too much caffeine. ( ̄^ ̄)”
Another quick response, “lol thats totally something u would do.. since ur up, r u down to call right now ?”
“To call? It's almost 2am. ಠ_ಠ Why are YOU awake anyway?”
“lol i know i know but im so bored… i just cant sleep.. we can be quiet on the call, but id like to hear ur voice right now :)”
Good grief, ew. How disgusting. “Hm… okay. ∩(。-_-。)∩”
(Don't you dare ask Kusuo why his internal monologue is so different from what he actually replies with. It's definitely not because he's an unreliable narrator who doesn't want to admit to himself or anyone that he actually wants to talk to a boy. Why would that be the case? Don't be dumb.)
Kusuo forgot to turn his ringer off before Kuboyasu could call him, so despite entirely expecting the phone call, the loud ringing startled him into dropping his phone on his face. How embarrassing, all-powerful psychic drops his phone on his face at almost 2am.
He scrambled to pick it back up and answer it so that the noise wouldn't wake up his parents. It would be really easy for him to just lull them back to sleep with his telepathy the second they wake up, but it would be inconvenient and his dad might complain in the morning. About either remembering waking up or just about not getting a good night’s sleep.
He finally clicked the answer button, luckily before his parents could wake up, and held back a sigh as he held the phone up to his ear.
“Hey, princess!” Kuboyasu was speaking in a whisper yell, probably also a room away from his sleeping parents.
“Hello.” He tried to speak in a way that wouldn't give away the fact that he was recovering from a smack to the face. Phone calls were a bit awkward for Kusuo, since microphones didn't pick up on his telepathy so he had to use his actual voice to speak over the phone. He always just hoped people wouldn't notice the extra rasp to his voice, but the late hour might work in his favor in this situation.
“So what have you been up to?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing? Up at 2 am and you're just sitting there, doing nothing?”
“Yes, that's exactly what I've been doing. What else is there to do at 2am?”
“Well, I've been making the most of MY time, personally.”
“And how have you been doing that, exactly?”
“Thinkin’ about you.”
“...”
“...”
“... *snort*” Okay, how could that NOT make him laugh? He took the phone slightly away from his face and laughed into his hand.
“What?? It's true!” The idiot couldn't hold back his laughter either.
“Yeah, yeah, okay… whatever, you're such a pain…”
“Yeah? Am I?”
“Yes.”
“And yet, you're here talking to me at 2 am just because I asked you to? Admit it, you love it.”
“Tch. You really need to get over yourself, you know that?”
“Well. Humor me for a bit longer, will you?”
“You're desperate.”
“For you.”
Kusuo muttered into his hand, “Oh my god.”
“I wish I could see your face right now, I know you're blushing.”
“Yeah, right. Not like you can prove that.”
“You want me to?”
“What do you mean?”
“You want me to come over there and check?”
Kusuo could hear the smirk in Kuboyasu’s voice. The jerk knew Kusuo couldn't say no to him. They both knew this game. Kusuo would deny him just for show, even though they both know he wants to say yes, and Kuboyasu would tease the truth out of him. Well, fine. Kusuo could play this game.
“You want to sneak out of your house and into mine at 2am just so you can check how successful your teasing is?”
“Mhm. Not just that, I would do anything to see my pretty princess’ face right now. I'm bored, you're bored, the only solution is for the knight to rescue the princess from this ailment, obviously.”
“You're an idiot.”
“You want to see me, I know it.” And he did. Kusuo could hear shuffling over the phone. That asshole was probably already putting his shoes on, knowing Kusuo would say yes. “What, you scared to prove me right? You don't want me to see your pretty pink face right now?”
… Kuboyasu was good at this game. He knows that husky voice is fucking irresistible. To Kusuo, at least. “... Okay, okay. Only so I can prove you WRONG.”
He knew Kuboyasu was smiling, but then the mood settled a bit. “You serious, Saiki? I know I'm messing with you, but I won't pressure you if you don't wanna sneak me in. I mean, that's kinda a lot to ask now that I'm thinkin’ about it. I really wanna see you, but I wouldn't make you do that.”
“Yeah, yeah, shut up, I've already made up my mind. Are YOU sure? You realize how late and dark it is, yeah? You can't just stroll the streets at 2 am, you're gonna get hurt.”
“Awee, you worried about me, princess? No need, your knight in shining armor can protect himself just fine.”
"... Fine. Just stay on the phone with me."
"Hm? While I walk?"
He figured Kuboyasu wouldn't want to have a conversation over the phone in favor of paying attention to his surroundings, but... Kusuo couldn't help but be nervous about his friend's safety at this hour. He just wanted to make sure he was fine the whole walk.
"We don't have to talk, just... stay on the phone with me..."
Kuboyasu snorted. "What, you gonna miss me in those, what, ten whole minutes?"
Kusuo scoffed quietly. "Don't be so full of yourself. I'm just making sure you don't trip and fall or something at 2am on the way to my house. Wouldn't want the blame to fall back on me." He somehow still managed to convey snark in his almost monotone voice despite his whisper.
Kuboyasu chuckled softly, as he snarked back teasingly, "You know I can take care of myself. Can't believe you're still worried about me~."
Kusuo did know that. It didn't change anything. And he WASN'T worried, he just knew that his various nuisances tended to get into trouble when he wasn't there to monitor them. He was always getting them out of trouble even in broad daylight, so there was absolutely no reason to think that walking alone in the middle of the night would prove to be an exception.
"Just shut up and don't hang up, alright?"
He heard the quiet creak of a door closing and shutting, barely drowning out Kuboyasu’s attempt at muffling his laughter. "Alright, sweet boy. I'm right here."
-
EWWWW CRINGEE EW THEY HAVE COOTIES
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makoredeyes · 3 months
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Keep it coming you say? 👀 I saw that tag! I'm ~quite~ bored, so here's a couple questions/whatever they're considered, lol.
Yes, flattery will get me very far here, indeed! To where? I do not know, but whatever, compliments! You deserve them. I'm rather sure my friends are tired of hearing me go on and on about destiny characters, ':)
How's your writing wip's going so far? I'm waiting very (im)patiently for any updates, I've totally not re-read everything forty-two times.. hope their all going well!
A little self indulgence here, but I like to think Andal Brask was the Hunter Vanguard when Osiris and Saint-14 were in, because.. come on, I'm rather sure the time frame adds up. I like to believe before, because their dynamic just seems really fun to me. Lots of great opportunities. (I partly blame that one fanart sylenth-l made of Andal and Osiris for this, it was really funny). What do you think their dynamic would be like?
What do you think it'd be like if the Iron Lords mysteriously came back alive? 👀 I'm talking, SIVA couldn't actually kill them because their ghosts hid in the light in their bodies, and SIVA only goes after non-organic materials right? Maybe it couldn't work it's way into the light, and as long as their ghost + light are intact, = alive. But *only* after the Warmind managed to get control over SIVA and free their physical bodies from harm? It's a thought I had, influenced by a few fics but I quite like the idea. Just imagine, a ghostless, lightless Osiris receiving word that maybe, they weren't as dead as he thought they were. Or Fel and Timur coming back only to realize what happened to Osiris?? Poor Sagira?? Learning lady Efrideet's alive? 👀 (Is that her name?)
Or perhaps, In this one fic, it's Timur and his special, take over your will little stunt he has, was keeping SIVA at bay, I think that's pretty neat too! So many possibilities! (If you were the one that wrote these, I hope you see this as a compliment cause I am not about to go dig through Ao3 to find them xD)
Either way, it'd be like a modern!au of the iron lords, for them at least, hah (I can just imagine Gheleon having a mental breakdown that their memorial involved fighting one another)
I can't really think of anything, but rest assured I will *probably* be back once I'm dome tormenting my poor boy Tevis
Ahaha yeesss YESSSS I feed me I'm such an attention whore lmao RIP XD. (fr tho bless you ;_; )
I am writing! There are longer gaps between posts rn because I have lots going on in my life, but also, because I am working on many fics at once. I counted the other day I have 26 WIPs but six I am actively working on in concert - three for Housefire that are all directly intermingled plot and timing-wise to the point where I'm not even entirely sure what order I'll be posting them in yet, another chapter for Things Found (I am trying to stay 2 chapters ahead with that to make sure I have a cohesive story for it), and two XXX stand-alone one-shots! I should fish out another teaser for everyone soon. I think it'll be one of the one-shots that makes it out next tbh they're the furthest along. But the naughty stuff is also the slowest to get written bc I yanno...can't write that stuff at work, etc. haha. But I've felt a new wind of motivation lately for writing and am picking away at these projects pretty regularly. <3
I'm going to admit I am not very well-read on the hunter squad in general, BUT iirc I believe Andal was Vanguard during the City Age. He was definitely around as I recall his presence in the comics. The problem with that time is that Osiris was largely absent. This was when the Cult of Osiris was gaining traction, and Osiris' obsession with the Darkness and the Vex was really heating up. He was neglecting his duties to the Vanguard (with Ikora often standing in as proxy for him) and he wasn't really paying attention to anyone else. Like. At all. There was a lot of unhappy tension even with Saint at that time. Andal, by all accounts, was a damn good fella though, and while I think just about everyone nettled Osiris, Andal also stuck up for him where he could. Even if Osiris couldn't appreciate that in the moment I'm sure he would come to later. I look at Osiris and see him as he is now, with some hard lessons learned and some hard losses under his belt, realizing a little too late some of the damn good souls he had in his court, Andal included. All of that said, 100% in a lighter, easier setting, a free-spirit like Andal (and/or Cayde...heaven forbid them both together!) would drive a stuffed shirt like Osiris up an absolute freaking wall with pure comical results, hands down.
(a side note, a brain storm, an insane thought that just poisoned my brain - a sweeter moment hidden from time: Andal's guitar and this gift of song Saint has hinted Osiris has....??????! I'm not melting it's just hot in here, right???)
As for Ironsbane and SIVA... I have INDEED put an awful lot of thought into this. Quite a lot. So much. I have my own ideas on ways to circumvent the disaster, O Reader Mine, but you're going to have to wait a while longer for me to write it. :3 (Housefire is, after all, ultimately, a fixit )
*but no SIVA attacks whatever it is programmed to, organic or not: and Rasputin set it on hundreds of Iron Lords and wiped them all out with the sole exception Efrideet and Saladin with the directives “REPLICATE, ELIMINATE, IMMUNIZE” it was not what SIVA was made to do but he deliberately repurposed it into a weapon. (I could go on for years about Rasputin and his darker epochs, but especially his misappropriation of SIVA lol)
** Your mention of Timur and his spooky skills DID remind me of another fic I need to get back to as well OTL TT_TT I still have requests I took in January I have yet to complete. At this rate it's going to take me all year to get them all done and by then I'll be taking more aahaha whuups.
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