#im so fucking sad man i used to love q i was so happy one of my favorite streamers was latino like me

[orkidays]

the fact that q's selfishness put multiple of his friend's lives and his friend's family's lives in danger over a fucking minecraft server I'm GONNA KMS

[poltergeist-coffee]

It's 2am for rn and I have to go to the dentist by the morning but

THE EGGS ARE BACK

RICHAAAAS

MY BOY

I MISSED HIM SO MUCH

AND POMME GOT HIT BY A BRICK DURING THE EARTHQUAKE??? POOR GIRL

RICHAS A DAPPER BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF EACH OTHER

Poor Bagi being confused by the strange family that Richas has

SHE IS HIS MOM NOW YEAAAAAAAH

I'VE BEING WAITING TO THEM TO MET FOR SO LONG

Bagi now has someone to be with her during the madrugada:3(I actually have no idea how this time after the modnight and before the morning is called)

FOREVER COME BACK, YOUR SON IS BACK

Oh... Bagi is telling that Forever came back from nether with short hair:(

FOREVER WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO US????

...

Elauackity... took care of the eggs?

Ok, alright, Richas said that "took care" is to much 9f strong word with good meaning

He just made sure that they didn't die

Alright, this sounds like him

Ooohh

Richas is saying that Elquackity seems like he remembers him in a strange way

Like remembering through photos? Hhhmmm

Did I ever say that I find extremely cute that Richas call Quackity "Pa quack"? Or how he calls Etoiles "tonton Etoiles"?

I should stop watching Bagi and Richas but... I MISSED MY BOY FOR SO LONG

I missed him hitting people, missed his sense of humor, missed his typing errors, missed his iconic head turn

I should stop writing, it will end up waking my writer evil alter ego

I will never not find cute Pac calling Richas "nenem"

THAT'S HIS BABY BOY YOUR HONOR

RICHAS IS SATING THAT QUACKITY IS HIS DAD AND HE MISSES HIM

"He aways come back"

-Richarlyson about Quackity

Gosh... Bagi met Kameto, she met Wilbur and she met LUZU and she never met Mike...

"But if your dad Mike don't come back your dad Pac will be without ground"

...

MIKE WAKE UP

My man was kidnapped by a university in Canada

"Once paid Cellbit took, EXACTLY, 1 hour and 20 minutes to chose ONE BLOCK"

I can see him doing that

And I could relate, but sometimes I get impatient and just look what block looks good and go with it

Also, it rained the whole day where I live

FINALLY

I kinda don't want it to rain tomorrow, because if it does, there will be classes because it won't have the internal games, and because I will have to go out

And my dad, who opened the door that goes outside, half soaked and said "I think it's raining"

I didn't want to laugh but I didn't expect it KKKKKK

- 🍽

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO TT THE BABIES ARE BACK!!!! ALL THE HUEVITOS TTTT OOORGH HOW I MISSED THEM SO MUCH!!!! AND THEY ALL GOT HEALED AND HAVE BOTH THEIR LIVES BACK IM SO HAPPY TT (i saw someone even mention how it looks like the cracks on them have shrunken so they really are healed!!)

RICHAS WAS PROTECTED FORM BEING HIT BY ANYTHING BEVAUSE OF ETOILES :”(( WAAAAAAH ETOILES TT

egg on egg violence (dapper vs richas pfff)

RICHAS FINALLY GETS TO MEET HIS MOM CRABRAVE 🦀🦀 he’s got two moms now (mine and now bagi!!!) (i don’t know if he’s ever called lore mom so i’m not counting her…) (regardless he’s not beating empanada who has the most mothers on the island kekw)

in english the time after midnight and before morning is called dawn!!

forever my beloved werewolf boy,,,please come home we miss you,,,, your son he’s awake and we need you to expand the Ninho,,,, cubito please wake up,,,,

elquackity did NOT take care of them he was a BITCH when we saw him talking to the eggs in purgatory >:[[

elquackity being a clone of quackity real??? he stole quackity’s memories maybe?? or parts of it at least… especially the part that was fond of q!wilbur

tonton etoiles is so cute 🥺 richas still calling elquackity “pa quack” makes me sad esp because el!q is not the quackity that richas knows TT that’s not his dad!! el!q should not get the 1% parenthood of him!!

pac and richas have such a cute relationship tbh :”)) i still remmebr when pac came back from being kidnapped by the prison guard and when he saw richas he immediently started kissing him all over and saying how much he missed him like orrrrgh they’re adorable TT pac loves richas so much,,,

MAKNKVHKNSKJA QMIKE WAS CANONICALLY ABDUCTED BY THE ENTITY KNOWN AS UNIVERSITY IN CANADA XDD i’m sorry richas your pa mike is getting an education right now… when he comes back he will be even smarter then before i promise

MSKNKVHS OH NO YOUR POOR DAD XDD it’s been getting colder where i live recently :0 but the weather is never consistent so tomorrow it might be really sunny and warm,,, i’ll have to wait and see lol

[caelumsnuff]

ah you changed your user and i could not find you! how could you lol! glad you're still here <3 i'm gonna add to the filler spree convo we're mostly in rn and idk idk i don't know if it's mostly fandom. i feel like it's money?? why would a dude who makes six figures on patreon alone care about youtube's adsense?? idk idk greed?? but since it takes more effort to routinely make a cohesive and engaging plot and the views for lore drop videos (which i wish erik would stop those even tho i like lore and incorporate the info into videos with relevant plot lines like how in books and movies they don't recommend those writers info dump) and plot-heavy works that aren't inversion don't get views.

the only 100k view videos the past 3/4 months are sleep audios cause of those casual listeners (and not even the gavin one which at least had some v v v slight character development in it). if all you had to do was stick a mic near your chest for your heartbeat and breathe to get 140k+ views lmao and your (albeit poorly done) final episode of a villain's plot doesn't crack 50k then you'll prob heed to those casual listeners. he used to make celebratory discord posts when characters got their first 100k views on a video, he made a big deal when that now-moved lasko in the movie theater audio reached a million views, and he had a patreon livestream around when he made the mario tournament audio where he lightly mentioned it being a bummer when videos didn't do well (he made light of it but still).

he mentioned in an old q&a about doing this to tell stories the way he wanted, but i feel like the views and money are what's steering him away from it??

HELLO!!! Yes im still here! Not leaving now and dont plan on it anytime soon lol. Im happy you found me again 😊

I feel like money is literally the only other option aside from the possibility that hes simply lost interest in the stories he was telling. Maybe he still cares about telling good stories deep down, but i think even if thats true the views and money is winning out. Which is just sad, this started out as a hobby and it should stay as such. Especially with him having so many patrons on top of his IRL job. Patrons don’t just…. Leave easily. He might lose casual viewership, but patrons and dedicated fans would stick around if he started valuing quality>quantity again. Do you know how happy i would be if he started uploading less often in favor of releasing better written, plot-centric videos??? You would Not believe it. And youtubers who do that literally garner a dedicated fanbase, there are artists out there who have a trove of patrons supporting them through several months without releasing art because they love it and its of high quality. Erik is more than capable of doing that.

I really do just think the man has so much potential, and i feel its not being executed to its peak right now. If he sat down and gave himself even like…. Idk one upload a week or one every two weeks, he could be writing better thought out videos.

Anyways, i definitely agree with you that its the money and views steering him away. Which is a damn shame, bc once again… 6 figures on patreon + a day job. He does not need to kneel for The Algorithm™️.

Views/hits/likes dont determine the value or quality of your art. Ignore the views, write a good story because its something you wish to make FUCK what other people think! Create from your heart knowing its the best you could put out in that moment, not just something you think will garner views. You know how amazing some videos with 1k views are on youtube??? Fics with 100 hits??? Art with 6 likes???? Just Create with all you are, others will find your passion and feel blessed to have been able to do so.

[letsgetrowdy43]

Touch Tank—

Quinn Hughes x Reader

ynofficial just posted!!

liked by lhughes_06 and 39 928 others

ynofficial Huggy doesn't like my affections 🌃

tagged: _quinnhughes

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Jackhughes anyone else thinking what I'm thinking??

ynofficial stopping thinking lil jizzy it’s never good for anyone

_quinnhughes The nickname 😒

ynofficial cute nickname for a cutie like yourself 😉

_quinnhughes I hated that

user1 she is living the life 😩

user82 more like living the dream

user72 dude why can’t my nights be this fun

Bohorvat Quinner hates everything

_quinnhughes I do not, I just hate when you two team up against me

ynofficial I know you love me Q

_quinnhughes no ❤️

ynofficial this is the first complaint I’ve heard since freshman year, suck it up

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liked by @elblue6 and 29 911 others

ynofficial You're now looking at the official Media Manager for the @Canucks #promotion

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user3 welcome to the shitshow??

user38 congrats!!

Canucks Welcome to the team!! #slayed

ynofficial I def did not post that comment myself :)

user4 You accepted a position with the most dumpster fire team in the league atm? Why?

ynofficial a) money b) annoying my roommate it’s an all around win 😏

Umichhockey guess the public relations degree did come in use!!

_quinnhughes you just took the position so you could take pictures of me

ynofficial exactly, who wouldnt wanna take pictures of your pretty face Q?

lhughes_06 is that sexual tension I sense?

Ynofficial Is that a socially awkward giant I see?

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_quinnhughes celebrating the big win vs Toronto and my favourite person/media manager’s birthday 🎉

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ynofficial IM YOUR FAVOURITE PERSON

user92 she's like a hyper child

_quinnhughes only cause its your birthday

bboeser big softie

_Eliaspettersson happy y/n day!!!

user32 2 ASSISTS AND A GOAL 🐳

user28 big day for the sad man

elblue6 happy birthday honey 🥳

ynofficial thank you Ellen ❤️

_quinnhughes kiss ass

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ynofficial this charity event was a pain in the ass to plan but the outcome was so worth it <3

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user3 literally ethereal

user69 how have one of those hockey fucks not snatched you up yet?

ynsister THE SILHOUETTE ON THIS DRESS OMG

Amybethmcnulty OBSESSED WITH YOU

ynofficial thank you lovey

_quinnhughes you clean up nicely :)

liked by ynofficial and 281 others

user28 that’s what you consider flirting??

trevorzegras w rizz

canucks Cheers 🥂

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jackhughes moosey’s draft weekend #4thoverall

Tagged: lhughes_06

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nicohischier Congrats!!

user72 Jack looks like he’s about to explode

trevorzegras wtf is that thing on the last slide

lhughes_06 love you man

user88 this is so wholesome

NJdevils @canucks give us Quinn and y/n and we will have a full set

canucks you will have to rip them from our bare hands 🙌

ynofficial jizzy you always get me at my worst 😔

_quinnhughes I thought you looked cute

joshnorris10 Ofc you’d say some dumb shit like that.

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ynofficial the gentle lover

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_quinnhughes just posted!!

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_quinnhughes the off season has been treating me well

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Jackhughes maybe he is smoother with the ladies

Eliaspettersson maybe he does have heart

user30 my dreams have been crushed

canucks 🤨

user74 if I can't have him at least she does 😪

graceabrams I don't keep up with sports, but I've kept up with whatever romance story this was

umichhockey been the #1 supporter for nearly six years!!

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[garfieldsladybird]

why just why..? I made so many playlists 😭 omg-

okay. One while I’m going through this let’s just say I have a weird obsession with this symbol <3. I use it for anything and everything.

33 playlists in total 🟰  i’m going to name every single one of them with the link and explain what it consists of and why I have it. i’m going from recent to oldest.

Bones 🦴 — A playlist for one of my best friends!!

description; I love you so fucking much!! you are the realist from day one! (when we met when we were babies!!) 💗💪✨

wassup fucker ;) -> gangster / rap songs. why; because they’re really good songs and i vibe to em cause they rap. yk.

description; lets get fucked up!!!

one more hit — 🌬 -> not a lot of songs yet but dark songs ig. kinda the dark but still chill vibe when smoking but its also ‘smoking is getting to much vibe but we like smoking so we will continue to smoke.’

description; too many hits.

2nd p. person — Q. -> rock vibes. this is for someone i am acquaintances with. i dont think they like me and that might be bc i am dating their ex but i didn’t know that when i got with my partner. and i do like 2nd p. person, they seem cool but i also don’t because they were talking abt a friend behind friends back and i dont like that. 

description; I bet we would’ve been great friends :) *happy/say smile*

melanie martinez!! — just a playlist of her songs. love her!! <3

description; she is a queen and her songs have some very powerful messages! <3

calm down corner — calm songs that i think are calm. this is to just to help me stop. in the

description; to much thinking.. so just take a breath. please. innnn- hold, andddd outttt. all good? if not take another one.

Olivia r. -> olivia rodrigo’s album sour and some other songs by here.

description; fuck boys. ew.

my friends <3 -> theater songs.. ig. but it’s reminds me of my friends :D

description; i have friends? yes, yes you do!!! theatre kids <3 :D

raven & beast boy -> just a lot of songs. it’s a playlist for my favorite love story, ngl. i love the relationship the two of them have! and yeah, it’s a lovely playlist.

description; i love you <3 😽💗

billie. <3 -> her songs! all albums, not all songs, but the best so yay!

description; my love!!! <333 💗💗💗

lana del ray <3 — the songs that ik by her. ik there are a lot but i only know 33 of em.

description; goddess voice man <333

t.s <3 — Taylor Swift songs. i only know 40.

description; my bsf got me into taylor s. so yeah i made a list of my favorite songs <33

𖨆𖨆 = ♡︎ — A playlist I made for my partner though I do not know if they know it’s for them. but songs that I fall in love with and remind me of them and just in general ig.

description; im whipped <33 ;)

wlw <3 — women loving women 💍 period. gay songs ig.

description; women are amazing 💗 loving women is amazing! and i love them! so pop your shit love!! <333

toke 🍃🎶 — my smoke playlist but also just the songs that i love and I add most of the songs that I like in here just to listen to. so its a smaller version of garfields playlist (my big all around playlist).

description; high!! <3

i die for you <3 — my sad playlist ig. idk. it’s dark and sad songs but also badass songs too.

description; and only you. but you don’t for me..?

1st period 🐉 <3 — old songs. good vibes and everything!!

description; Theater 🎭 sup. third week in the making :D lots of oldies 🫶

4th p. boy’s vibe 🎸 — I don’t know how to explain the songs in here. lots of rock ‘n’ roll I would think.

description; and its only first week of school.. edit — i dont like him. i like his vibe! <3

im in love with myself <3 — I finally made this playlist. I hadn’t made for so long but I didn’t have any songs in it except like one song. but I literally love this play this now!! just songs that make me love myself <3

description; “just want to get to know myself” — my life is growing into MY life. AHHHHHHH-

school <3 🏫 — I don’t know what this play this is really meant for. I kind of just added songs that reminded me of school. I made this before school started also.

description; new school year..? playlist.

melody — it’s for my glee dr.

description; glee <33

Ren 🦔 <33 — A playlist for @/lalaland06 <333

description; “𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗆𝖾 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗒 𝗆𝗎𝗌𝗂𝖼 𝖽𝗈𝖾𝗌” — unknown.

sage 🦦 <33 — A playlist for @/sagesworlddd <333

description; “lose your mind so that you can gain a new way of knowing.” — Quote by Holly Lynn Payne.

note; I don’t really know if these quotes go with these people but I put them when I made the playlist and I don’t want to change them because I love them.

smoking with 🦦 & 🦔 <33 — they are my smoking buddies so smoking playlist!!

description; 🍃🎶

dance 🕺🏼💃🏼 — I like dancing and this is kind of just a mix of hip-hop dancing songs and some actual dance songs. idk. no description.

lilyflower and prongs — this goes with my dark Paradise dr. where I am James and Lily‘s daughter. 

description; mom & dad <3

Seaboy — it’s my Percy Jackson playlist.  you know surprisingly enough even though I haven’t read all of the books I’m a big Percy Jackson fan. like I love reading fanfiction of Percy Jackson and it’s amazing and I want to read the books too but I’m already reading a book series so, it’s added to my wants of reading.

description; look, i didn’t want to be a half-blood.🗽⚡️🌊🦋🌼

Dark Paradise | hp — my Harry Potter dr where i am the older sister of Harry.  no description.

euphoria but fuck you — euphoria vibe ngl. chill songs. I made this during the season two of euphoria coming out and everything. 

description; *sigh* if you shuffle this bitch it’s awesome

Twilight — I actually had three playlists that was for one twilight dr and I decided that I didn’t like that so I added all three of those into one. or I added two into one but whatever it’s now one consistent playlist of twilight vibes. but yeah. 

description; aesthetically pleasing songs…  of twilight ig

garfield <3 — this playlist right here is everything. everything to me and everything that goes with music for me.

description; all around playlist <3

old 2019- — ugh. I hate this playlist but I keep it around because why not. it was during that horrible phase where rap music consisted of mumbling words. where it was a bunch of songs turned into TikTok songs and will forever be TikTok songs now. I don’t care if you like the songs or not, it’s just my opinion.

description; idk these songs suck.

[dyketubbo]

im rewatching doomsday (comps of all povs of course) and. yeah i just.. feel bad for the lmanburgians. i dont know how i could just. say these people deserved it, when they all sound, panicked and desperate and so so fucking sad. long long ramble under the cut as i recount the events and pick out a bunch of little things

even the day before then is painful. ranboos panic room. ranboo and tubbos talk (tubbo admitting that hes wrong, saying he believes that history is repeating itself and trusting ranboo because he believes in his loyalty), fundy showing the ring toss. tubbos surprise at being told to kill dream before stating that quackity would be in control if he didnt (god, did he plan to fail?). tommy being so so excited. everyone playing ring toss and cheering on jack. tommy still believing in tubbo. tubbo panicking. ranboo and tommy and techno talking, ranboo giving them info. dream placing walls and quackity instructing tubbo on where to kill dream. dream lying about the community house. the entire community house debacle. just, everything.

and then doomsday itself. having to frantically get there because it started early, tubbo only having diamond armor to protect him, fundy standing still after he sabotaged them. tubbo and ranboos genuine despair about the apiary.

tubbo eventually going nonverbal and actively putting himself in danger, not even moving away from techno at first and getting in the way of the firework launcher. tubbo trying to save tommy from the fireworks, ponks broken "dont come over here!" after she was trying to save his cat, tommys face falling and desperate attempts at convincing techno, ranboo going "its all gone", niki spiralling and silently burning down the tree, quackitys pure anger. all the death messages.

jack going "what is there left to protect", tommy brokenly trying to accept that its gone as tubbo and quackity blankly do accept it. jack going "i lost everything again". tommy desperately trying to understand dream, on the verge of tears as he asks why dream didnt just hurt him. his low health and food as hes unable to do anything anymore, his quiet gasp as he spots ghostbur, tubbos tiny shake of his head when dream says dream and tommys story wont be over.

tubbo and quackity breaking the repeaters. ghostburs "i didnt even know we were fighting". ghostbur finding out phil let friend die, hes pained "phil? but i- i gave, i gave phil to look after. and dream found me friend, and technoblade said we were friends", tommys pained talk about technoblade. "we were never his friend. to him, all of this was just an act of politics, an act of clout and a-a social ladder, and you won't remember. tubbo you will, and to you big q, this was a friendship. but to technoblade, this was a ladder. and techno climbed to the tippity talk. do you wanna know the only way you can go? on the ladder? -- and once you reach the top of the ladder tubbo, you can only go down."

quackity asking to sing the anthem again, him strumming as ghostbur sings (and tubbo and tommy joining in). ghostbur forgetting the second verse because it blew up. quackity remembering it, them stumbling through it. tommys "tubbo? im so so sorry", tubbos quiet "its okay." the four all singing together. tubbo looking at the lava with an ender pearl in his hand, tommy correcting quackity and going "our l'manburg". ghostburs speech about friend, about people not taking him seriously just because he has memory loss.

meanwhile.. phil and techno were laughing. cracking jokes. phil mocks them as he spawns withers on the apiary, going "ohhh noo not the bees!". techno shouts at tommy and shoots at him and tubbo. he kills jack and doesnt even notice that it was one of his lives lost. jacks death itself proves that it doesnt take any particular intent, doesnt have to mean anything to the killer. techno and phil were willing to kill people. it would be foolish of them to act as if there were no risks in the terms of canon lives, especially with phil. phil doesnt take ghostbur seriously, treats his despair as an opportunity to drill in a lesson. the most either of them lost was some of the dogs and used up potions, fireworks, and wither skulls

and then theres dream. dream whose been harming the l'manburgians since the beginning, who had taken tubbo hostage, offered eret a chance to betray them all, who had been the man in tommys walls and offering money to tubbo and jack to try and get them to destroy things, who tried to get tommy to kill tubbos villagers. dream, who took tommys discs over and over, who killed tommy twice in one day, who stopped caring about his friends that loved him and were so so loyal. dream, who helped schlatt and pushed wilbur deeper into his spiral, who even then tried to manipulate tommy.

dream, who helped destroy l'manburg the first and second time, who took advantage of tubbo so he could have a premeditated kidnapping of tommy. dream, who abused tommy, physically, psychologically, emotionally. dream, who degraded tubbo and had taken ranboos memory book (which btw, since ranboos memory loss counts as a mental disability with the memory book as his aid, thats dream taking the thing that aids ranboo in dealing with his disability).

dream, who had been the reason l'manburg was created. dream, who got to destroy l'manburg three times. dream won. and techno and phil dont regret it, dont care.

maybe l'manburg was never meant to be. and sure, it started with stealing and an attempt to monopolize on potions but. that wasnt even l'manburg then, was it? it was just wilbur and tommy having fun. l'manburg came after. after the police hurt them. l'manburg started as a silly little revolution, led by a naïve man who thought he could win wars by saying no. it was a place for a family, a place for them to escape from dream. it was a place to try and escape the harm of those outside the walls. it was meant to be safe, even if those against them made it hard to be. it was made from love. it was meant to be happy. it was a symphony, however unfinished.

so. i don't know. i just feel, bad. they never really won, did they? tragedy after tragedy, death after death, destruction after destruction, betrayal after betrayal, hurt after hurt. and now what's left of them, really? out of the founders, erets doing the best and even shes doing awful, forever trying to make up for what he did. tubbos paranoia led him to developing nukes in a desperate attempt to stay safe, because he was taught to stay quiet and keep his emotions to himself, because his death was "justified", because nukes and walls and weapons are the only way he can feel safe anymore.

tommy went through months of abuse, lost all of his lives and suffered upon coming back, suicidal but unable to bring himself to do it because limbo is worse, feeling lost and like he has no family anymore other than wilbur, who he knows is hurting him but cant bring himself to leave, who loved lmanburg so so dearly and only wanted a home, still doesnt have one (tommy from everywhere, tommy from nowhere at all). niki who loved lmanburg and wilbur so much that it hollowed her out and made her bitter and shes so used to being spoken over that all she can think to do is raise her voice and get pissed, who cant see wilbur as a good person anymore because shes hurt and hasnt truly recovered and she doesnt know how to cope without being angry.

jack manifold feels forgotten, hes lost all his lives and crawled out of hell and no one truly noticed, he doesnt even believe that niki really cares, hes desperate and has made his purpose to be spiteful and angry because he cant deal with the emptiness that comes when he realizes theres no point. fundys desperate to have friends, family, a partner, anyone thatll love him, anyone thatll keep him safe, slowly killing himself with cigarettes and disowned because of giving too little too late, because he was too little too late.

and wilburs lost himself. spiraling, paranoid. a young, naïve man who wanted to fight swords with words, who wanted to impress his father, who wanted a nation of his own to feel safe, who was so effected by erets betrayal that he cant trust anyone but himself, whose possessive nature eats him from the inside out, desperate for control and unable to let go of the only person he knows loves him unconditionally

all because outside forces kept pushing, kept destroying, kept ruining them and hurting them and traumatizing them and taking away their homes and pets and loved ones. and i just. cant feel happy for the ones that hurt them, i cant feel victorius, triumphant, any of that. i just feel bad that the l'manburgians never got to be a family. i know they arent the best people but shit, i love them anyways, love them because theyre flawed and because theyre *people*, people who tried so so hard and got pushed so so much and. fuck, i cant be happy that the people who loved nature and play fought and laughed by campfires and read poetry and re-enacted theatre and loved each other and wanted to *live* (even if they were willing to die, if it meant giving everyone else a chance).. lost. they lost.

canonical years of work down the drain in one day. records of history gone, now only remembered in full by a traumatized teenager who was taught not to talk about his negative emotions, and even he misremembers some parts. they didnt even lose fairly. they had no chance. they couldnt have prepared for withers, for tnt rain, for the hounds. they were poor, weaker than their opponents, sabotaged by one of their own. thats.. tragic.

doomsday was a tragedy. i cant agree that it was deserved. i cant agree that they had it coming, that they deserved to lose homes and pets and limbs and lives and land because they werent the greatest people around.

a small country of less than 10 people (at both creation and destruction) now a giant crater in the ground, remnants of a parisitic egg taking over the land. and it wasnt even lost fairly. three people were stronger than an entire nation, even with all of its allies. two anarchists working with an abusive tyrant. so, no. doomsday wasnt deserved. people dont deserve tragedy. there were better ways, i truly cant be happy that the way chosen was violence. i cant.

l'manburg's citizens deserved better. they really did. the ends dont justify the means. and god, am i fucking tired of "justice". if justice means choosing violence over love and respect and caring about those less strong than you, i dont wanna hear about it. fuck that man, id rather love and be loved than constantly give a shit about making up for hurting others by getting hurt, thats stupid and cruel and i cant see it as okay on a moral level. not when the people that got hurt deserved to be loved and cared about and protected and *talked to* instead of constantly shot down.

of course for the narrative i can enjoy violence and characters getting hurt and i do like how "real" it all is, the despair and dissonance in tone and how terrifyingly messy it all is. out of story perspective- honestly rather cool even if it makes me feel bad. in story perspective- holy fucking shit no that wasnt deserved and god i hope everyone hurt will be able to heal and learn to love and be loved again because thats such a terrifying thing to go through. from a detached pov i can appreciate the insight into everyone involved and i like the plotlines that came from it, but from a compassionate pov i just wish the l'manburgians were allowed to be happy and treated as equals so they didnt have to go through all of this

[wizardcommune]

gundham sfw alphabet

pairing - gundham tanaka x gn!reader

warnings - none!!

word count - 1.8k

a/n - FUCK YEAH GUNDHAM (also i apologize, i got lazy near the end)

a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

in the beginning of the relationship, he would definitely be very hesitant to show physical or verbal affection since it wasn’t something he was used to. he’d show his love with acts of service and giving, most likely. (giving his s/o one of the devas if he knew they’d be separated for a short period of time, bringing them small trinkets he found like pretty rocks or bones, helping them with homework, etc.)

as time goes on, though, he’d become more comfortable with showing physical affection and would grow to become a huge cuddle bug!!! please hug him for me

b = best friend (what would they be like as a best friend?)

literally the coolest friend ever. especially if you had an alternative fashion sense, he’d be so down to go clothes shopping with you LMAO

if you were okay initiating physical affection outside of a romantic relationship, and were able to make him comfortable with that, he’d totally be That Friend who cuddles with you all the time!! he’d never mention it though, and would die on impact if you brought it up in front of any of his other friends/classmates

c = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

once he’s comfortable with it, yeah! he’s definitely super touch starved because of him not having friends most of his life, so having someone to cuddle would make his brain go ^^^^^

honestly, he’s good with any position so it’s up to his s/o. he prefers being able to see their face, though

the first time he ever cuddled with them he cried :(( shh don’t tell anyone though

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

man that’s his DREAM!! the idea of just getting to live with his s/o + animals makes his serotonin machine go BRR

honestly, i think he would fucking suck at cooking. baking, however. :))

because of having to clean up after his animals and keep things out of their way, he would naturally be a pretty neat person out of habit!! i don’t think he’d mind too much if his s/o was messy though.

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

I DIDNT DO THIS ONE BECAUSE IT MADE ME SAD IM SORRY

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

gundham already sets up so many walls, and for his s/o to be able to break those down would already mean he’d be willing to commit. i don’t think he would ever just like.... date random people for funsies, so being in a romantic relationship with someone is already so big to him.

honestly, i can’t see him being the type to want to get married. he’d definitely want to settle down! but the idea of having a traditional wedding stresses him out. (of course, that doesn’t mean he’d be any less committed :))

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

dealing with small animals like the devas has left him gentle by nature!! he doesn’t even notice it, but he is always extremely careful with his s/o with the subconscious fear of accidentally hurting them/scaring them off :(

emotion wise, i think it’d be the same. when he cares about someone (whether it be romantic or platonic) he’s always cautious of teasing them too much since he knows that it can hurt sometimes. 

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

HE FUCKINGNF LOVES HUGS

they’re probably SO good too, like he’s the type to give those hugs that make you feel so safe. full on wraps his arms completely around you and rests his head on yours if you’re shorter (since he’d such a fucking giraffe my god)

i = i love you (how fast do they say the L-word?)

it would definitely take a while for gundham to admit it. i can see him saying it on accident, like when he thinks you’re sleeping or not paying attention to him. he’d also need a lot of reassurance afterwards, just because of that initial fear of rejection

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)

if he sees someone flirting with his s/o and they’re uncomfortable, he’ll immediately wrap an arm around their shoulder.

“they said they’re taken, respect that knave.”

sometimes he does get insecure that’s he’s too much for his s/o, considering he’s an evil tyrant, and that they might want to leave him for someone who’s..... not an evil tyrant.... (once again, please give him a hug)

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

like i said before, he’s very gentle when it comes to affection so his kisses are vv soft!! he’ll always hold their chin or one of their hands.

his favorite places to kiss his s/o are probably their forehead and hands!!

he loves being kissed everywhere, but he really likes neck kisses and any kisses around his face :^)

l = little ones (How are they around children?)

he’s great with kids!! he’d tell them stories of how he defeated different warlocks that tried to test him, or giant manticores he tamed.

i think he’d really like kids too, mostly because they’re so easy to impress LMAO

it inflates his ego a little bit whenever one gets really into one of his stories

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

if he wakes up before his s/o, he’d gently pull them into a hug while he waits for them to wake up (sobbing)

morning voice morning voice morning voice morning voice morning v

he memorized how his s/o likes their tea/coffee and will make it really groggily HAHA

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

okokok hear me out

i think that gundham is a really good singer, so he would 100% sing u to sleep

he’d be embarrassed as hell though LMAOO

he’d probably cuddle them before they fall asleep and talk about each other’s days or just random stuff until they get tired

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

i think a few months into their friendship? he would talk about his childhood randomly, but would prefer if they don’t make a huge deal about it.

he’d open up more if his s/o did first! he would take it as they trust him enough to talk about it.

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

it depends on the person! with someone like hiyoko, he can get pissed pretty quickly, but his patience is VERY thick with his s/o. generally, it takes a lot to anger him. 

that being said, if they put themself in danger he would get ticked off out of fear.

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

especially in the beginning of their relationship when he was hesitant about physical/verbal affection, he would focus heavily on listening to them. he really wanted to show them that he respects them a lot, and remembering small things they mentioned would convey that well.

r = remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

after coming out of the shower, he walked in to see them asleep on his couch with the devas curled up on top of their chest. he went to go lay down with them and it just kind of.. hit him. that he wasn’t alone anymore and they loved and were there for him. :( 

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

he’s very protective!! (especially if you’re in the killing game) the thought of something happening to you is his worst fear. 

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

ALL THE EFFORT

if his s/o asks him to do something in passing, you BET he’s gonna make sure he does his best

he keeps track of anniversaries/important dates religiously because he’s terrified of accidentally forgetting LMAO

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

sometimes i think he might come off as cold when embarrassed because his persona is so important to him, but if they expressed being upset he would backtrack SO fast

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

not very much?? like, i think he would brag about his hair or something sometimes but he’s always joking LMAO

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

yes and no? if something ever happened to his s/o, he would feel horribly empty for a time. but i also think that being in a relationship could help him not feel so lonely and teach him better ways to take care of himself, so if they were to ever split he would be able to heal after he got over the initial sadness.

x = xtra (a random headcanon for them.)

he’s a Mitski Understander (TM) his favorite songs are crack baby, pink in the night, and i bet on losing dogs, i’m up for debate

and yes i absolutely will be making a gundham playlist

i don’t know if this counts since i’m 90% projecting, but i hc him as trans and ND so like. solidarity if you are too wink wonk

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

a/n - just so everyone knows, i honestly think every character would be fine with any type of person since projecting is so important to a lot of us. these are just my personal headcanons, and if they don’t apply to you please don’t take it personally!! <3

i think he would really want a kind s/o. especially with what he’s been through, someone who’s gentle/patient would mean the world to him

also someone who likes animals!! they mean so much to him and were basically his entire life until he met the others, so having someone who shared that interest would make him so happy

z = zzz (what is a sleep habits of theirs?)

it’s not uncommon for him to sleep with his animals!! he mostly just sleeps with the devas though; he would probably place them near his head or on his chest so he wouldn’t accidentally roll on them.

he also really likes cuddling with his s/o when they sleep! he wouldn’t mind being the big or little spoon, either.

[gizkasparadise]

cdrama rec: goodbye, my princess

Master drama rec list.

Series: goodbye, my princess / the eastern palace Episodes: 52 (regular) 55 (director’s cut--this is the version i watched) Genres: tragedy, romance, train wreck, historical, political, costume porn, scenery porn Spoilers in the Rec: for the set-up If You Like, You’ll Like: “what are you going to do, stab me?” says man stabbed, moon lovers but make it worse, empress ki, a show where literally every love confession ends with someone using a knife, a v fucked up deconstruction of the “runaway princess” trope

Rank: 9.5/10

^ yes this looks v. healthy, soak those clothes in the cold water of the river styx it’ll be fine

PREMISE

xiaofeng is a very bubbly and naive princess from western liang state, where she’s grown up happy and sheltered. her father is pro-peace with the li empire, and makes an arranged marriage for her to their crown prince. being a Precocious Naive Young Royal with a certified Thing for her teacher, gu jian (who seems Stoic but is actually a Softie), she eventually convinces him to run away with her so she can avoid the marriage. 

little does she know that gu jian is actually a sleeper agent for a disgraced family of the li empire who are willing to do anything to get power VENGEANCE honor again.

 wow, this will be fun she said. this will be good, she said. 

meanwhile...

prince li chengyin, the 5th prince, is accompanying his elder brother, the crown prince, to western liang in order to broker a marriage with their princess. on the way they are ambushed by what look like members of the danchi--a nomadic, warrior state. the crown prince is killed, and the 5th prince is left for dead. eventually, chengyin makes his way to western liang, where he learns about the history of his mother’s family, the gus, and meets his cousin gu jian. together, they vow for power VENGEANCE honor as well as a way to uncover the truth about the murder of the crown prince

one way to do that is to figure out a way to infiltrate the danchi

conveniently, gu jian knows a runaway princess whose grandfather is their leader.

ope. i came out here to have a good time

gu jian and chengyin conspire to have chengyin pose as gu jian’s Totally Normal Cousin Who is Definitely Not An Enemy Royal as they help the princess “run away” from an unwanted marriage to the “safety” of her grandfather’s people.

 ah. ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. hah.

MAIN CHARACTERS

xiaofeng

our titular princess!!! omg does she have a wild fucking ride of character development. happy and sheltered! oh no. oh no. oh, god. happy again! oh god. no. oh fuck. 

she’s awesome. growing up in the desert (her father’s people) and the steppe (her mother’s people), xiaofeng’s lived a pretty great life of mischief and riding horses. incredibly kind and extroverted, she makes friends everywhere and a lot of them are women and that is Awesome. not a mean bone in her body. wine-child who likes to cross dress. cdrama’s best dressed.

prince li chengyin / gu xiaowu

the 5th prince of the li empire and wants power VENGEANCE honor for his momma. he infiltrates xiaofeng’s Runaway Marriage Camping Trip in the hopes of uncovering military secrets of the danchi, to get vengeance for his brother and also some military merit so he can get more vengeance. 2 vengeances for one betrayal--sweet deal. however, on the way to the danchi, he hardcore falls for xiaofeng even though he’s lowkey trying to bring about devastation for her family. ruh oh. 

falls in love with the Mark, betrays people constantly and then wonders why they’re mad at him. the show/narrative never, at any point, tries to hide the fact that he is making some Severely Fucked Up Decisions and it’s amazing. genuinely loves xiaofeng very, very much. epitome of “you made your bed now lie in it.” 

gu jian

xiaofeng’s teacher and also her first love. he has feelings for her back, but he’s Bound by Duty to the gu family and subsequentially the li empire. he chooses duty, and orchestrates the meeting between xiaofeng and chengyin “xiaowu” in order to get chengyin in the door to the danchi tribe. he then watches them fall in love, fully knowing the fucked up shit that’s about to go down and how much pain it will cause xiaofeng. 

wears oversized scarves because a dude’s gotta accessorize. dramatically observes people from tall places like a sailor moon villain. whistle baby whistle baby let him know

SOME SUPPORT CHARACTERS SELECTED BY HOW MUCH THEY ARE MY FAVORITES

a’du

Q U E E N. a member of the danchi tribe, and xiaofeng’s best friend and bodyguard and girlfriend. xiaofeng says punch and a’du says how hard. the two of them are ride or die together, and a’du would do anything for xiaofeng. does not approve of any of her boyfriends in any capacity because LMAO she has eyes.

general pei

the Strong, Silent type and a general who is loyal to the li empire and serves chengyin. he befriends xiaofeng and genuinely cares about her. she teaches him the flute and he plays it for her whenever she’s sad and it’s precious :(. unclear whether or not his feelings for her are platonic or romantic, but it’s all v Pure and Well-Meaning. the ladies love him

he shi

(far right) a’du’s brother and the danchi’s best warrior. look he’s barely in this but i have a thing for friendly giants and this one plays the flute

mi luo

spy-turned-bar owner from western liang, who becomes one of xiaofeng’s best friends. she’s just a really cool lady and she keeps everyone absolutely hammered throughout the story, which they all need. to cope.

OTHER SUPPORT CHARACTERS THAT ARE NOT MY FAVORITES BUT ARE IMPORTANT TO THE PLOT AND/OR I WAS TOO LAZY TO MAKE A SCREENCAP OF

zhao se se. a noblewoman in the li empire who has been in love with chenglin forever

the empress. basically every cdrama empress you’ve ever encountered. moving on.

khan tömür. ACTUALLY one of my favorites but i was too lazy to get a screencap. xiaofeng’s grandpa and leader of the danchi. loves his grand daughter so, so much. does not approve of any of her boyfriends either because he also has eyes.

ming yue. a famous courtesan in the li empire who xiaofeng later befriends. she’s a perfectly fine character i was just bored w/ her subplot.

gao yuming. every Evil Minister you’ve seen in a cdrama, although he gets extra points for having one of the most annoying, blatantly evil voices of all time

second prince, li chengye. i actually liked him a lot too. the crown prince after the first crown prince dies, chengyin’s brother. anything else is spoilers

Drawbacks

there were a couple of subplots that i had 0 interest in, which is what kept this from being a perfect 10 for me. i didn’t care about anything related to minister gao + the empress, but that’s admittedly because im not all that into palace politics. the ming yue stuff was also not that interesting to me because i’ve seen that subplot a billion times.

nothing else enjoy the fucking ride.

Reasons to Watch.

this show makes no secret that it’s not going to be a good time. you jump in fully aware that it’s a tragedy and knowing that ahead of time makes it so much better. you see chengyin start to gradually lose his shit and it’s amazing. it’s so good. 

character development! almost every character grows (or destructs) based on what’s happening around them and i was really impressed with it. xiaofeng’s in particular.

ACTING. omg both the leads killed it. you can see the switches flip and it p much defines the show-not-tell i love it

music! it’s really pretty ;; 

FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS. FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS EVERYWHERE. xiaofeng makes so many friends and it warms my heart

if you’re into fucked up romances that also have moments of genuine cuteness/softness this is 100% your thing

The Aesthetic. costumes and scenery are on point, behold a parade of images:

(the Red Dress is iconic but this ^ is actually my favorite costume of hers)

Final Thoughts

[neo-shitty]

reading drown made me remember how much music personally means to me. i used to have a hard time sleeping back in 6th grade to the point that it badly affected my studies bc for some reason im wide awake at night, felt tired but still fully awake which made me unable to focus in school. so of course i researched what i can do since i didnt want to tell my parents (nasa google kaya lahat 😌) long story short, try listening to music daw 😭 so i did bUT since listening to music wasnt really my hobby, i didnt know what type i should start off and at that time, kpop just recently became big LMAO it was like around 2017 i think. so i liSTENED TO EXO since it was the group that i have been hearing around school AHAHAHAHA the song was baby, dont cry btw. it worked surprisingly, music does calm one's nerves. i didnt understand the lyrics ofc but just by the melody, it made everything around me peaceful. whenever i feel anxious, sad, or stressed, music is the way to go :"> SO EON STORY KO PANO AKO NAGING KPOP FAN 😭😭😭 parinig aq ng iyo po 🙇

pero ofc there were times when it was pointless. there were times na listening to music just made everything worse, it would just be another noise that would frustrate me more. kAYA ANG NEED DITO IS ANO TALAGA U KNOW OO ung pwede mong sandalan hahahaha kaso wala ako non :"> so while reading napapa "sige chan ahhaha sana ol sige sana ol may y/n ng buhay nila hahaha" pero real talk, it would be nice to have someone you can share all your worries with without feeling guilty of wasting their time kaya stray kids hopefully you wont be afraid to love someone freely 😌

uy pati nakakaqiqil si jae dito >:( pero no, bias ko pa den siya sa day6 <3 and the scene where chan was guiding reader along while she was riding his skateboard is so cute huhu ,,, lia is the mc in checkmate, correct?

para akong ewan kc you posted this 11 pm right? i always like reading/watching while lying down sO humiga ako kaso pagkahiga ko, inaantok ako agad :"> enjoying something while youre at your most comfortable position feels so ✨heavenly✨ but it makes me too comfy that it drowns me in sleepiness. like i need to sleep muna bago ako maka focus 100% sa ginagawa ko lmao eh since end of the day eon, pagod aq :"< SMALL RANT LNGS KC BIGLA KO NAPANSIN KAGABI HAHAHAHAHA actually pati this afternoon, manonood sana ako hometown chachacha kaso pagkabagsak ko, tulog. kaya tinuloy ko na lang after an hour of sleep huhu

speaking of hometown, im on ep 10 and its the first ep where seungmin's ost was showcased ! im really excited marinig siya later pag finish ko nung ep na eon. BY THIS TIME EP 12 KA NA NOH?? HOPEFULLY EHE EHE and yes justice para sa mga nababastos >:( daming cases here in our school last f2f tbh. ewan like kadalasan, based on my experience, sinisisi nila sa pananamit ng mga babae 👁️👄👁️ i watched a video/show wherein a boy got caught sexualizing ung kaklase niyang girl tas he defended himself by saying na ang ikli ng skirt ni ate girl but thats literally their uniform , scary honestly

pati ify sa ipis, idk why but im more scared sa ipis than mga daga kc naman ang ipis parang gagamba, bigla biglaan na lang mawawala :"> AH SO UN NGA DI AKO NAKAPUYAT AHHAHAHAHAHAHAH PERO WANT KO NA ULE 😭 anong oras ka natulog?

i just realized then, almost all my feedbacks (?) rants abt your works, may included back story ko HAHAHAH like sa obliviate, harry potter kemene. sa on the ride home, yung untog series q. tas dito sa drown -> ^^^ syempre sa checkmate di ako relate kc di pa naman aq pumapanaw Y^Y

btw how was your day? pag gising ko sa umaga dumeretso aq proj, sipag i2. advance happy eating for dinner !

HAPPY CHANNN DAYYY ,, ayos na daw kurtina nila di ko pa nakikita pero inayos daw ni chan 😌👌

- 👻

glad i came home to a whole ass diary entry today omg owo

6TH GRADE HELP ISNT THAT LIKE TOO YOUNG TO HAVE AMNESIA ;n; hala baka magfalse diagnosis ka sa gogol ha, tell your parents next time kung may ano. oh yeah, mas better talaga kung di mo naiintindihan yung lyrics? bc you don't have to think of the lyrics too. music stopped working as a lullaby for me when quarantine started so i resorted to yt vids. but i still go for music whenever my self-esteem is low. noise music really boosts it *u* exo-l ka pa ba now? or you didn't stan? sinu-sino nga pala stinastan mo omg?

dude my story started in g2 when i heard fire by 2ne1 on the MIT top 20 of myx. i was quite a casual kpop fan up until late g10 when i started memorizing members (which i didn't do bc i was really just in it for the music not the groups).

HAJSHJAH truly tho it's nice to have someone around :'( namimiss ko na rin yung time na may 'y/n' ako but it's been so long that i'm fine on my own na HAJHAJ JAE IS MY BIAS TOO BUT ANTAGONIZING HIM WAS FUN. t'was bc of this vid (around the 28:18 to 29:20 mark; literally the inspo for the whole fic). yep, lia's checkmate's mc! the part abt guiding sa skateboard happened to me irl HIHIH #kilig #reminiscing kakamiss f2f

yeah at 11pm. i think i posted it too late bc it's not doing too well notes wise but whatever, it's chan day. HAHAH glad you slept easily though! MY BIGGEST SANA ALL. i slept at 3 na kanina bc i was either too hot or too cold.

how long is the kdrama? also i'm really proud of seungmin for scoring that ost :'( go get it, vocal king. NAUR I DIDNT GET TO FINISH THE ANIME BC I WENT AND WATCHED BSD KDJSKLJ i'll try and finish it tonight (bc i was out the whole day + i might be writing later) i fucking hate men. icb i'm at the point where i'm torn abt having a bf bc i kinda want a man but they're disgusting as hell???? it's hard to find the good ones nowadays.

mga ipis kasi feeling butterfly jsdhjfh at least yung daga aware ka kung asan ;n; IM SCARED OF SPIDERS TOO JDSKFJ wag ka magpuyat l8r kasi monday pero eh depends pa rin sau

oo nga pansin ko din yung back stories but they're interesting to read naman so i don't mind !! SANA DI KA TALAGA MAKARELATE SA CHECKMATE JUSQ do not claim the negative energy from that fic

we went to my mom's office earlier bc she wasn't feeling great and she couldn't come home yet kasi nakabubble siya doon. we just go thome tapos yown diretso answer sa ask HAHAH magtstsaa palang aq mamaya pa ata dinner namin mga 7 pero yeah advance happy eating din sayo!

AND YES HAPPY CHAN DAY <333 lol narealize ko lang both my ults had sunday birthdays this year o.O and OO HAJSHJAH i watched the chan's vlog last night (partly the reason why napuyat ako) and inayos niya yung curtain sa bandang huli <//3 can't tease them anymore HMP

[dilsdoes]

idek how to articulate the problem it just feels so big and so much that when i think about how much everything hurts, how kuch i hate myself, how many people just straight up told me that its my job specifically to make sure my mother is happy by not failing im school and being a perfect student and just kinda yelled at me while i was just sittin there. cryin. just sobbin. and then i like tell my mom hey i feel like my greatest failure is being a human persom capable of making mistakes bc of the expectations place on me :P and shes like well thats based on nothing bc ive never done that so no one did that to u n im just kinda :/ man idk being screamed at for dissociating in front of everyone specifically for your sake at the tender age of 11 feels like it fucks you up loool.

and also its like my mom does this thing where she asks me a q and before ive even actually heard it she moves on and i realised that its like one of those things where its happening and you feel normal and then it stops and you feel like a person for the first time. like when i got hit by a bus they didnt give me a sling and my mom looked at me and was like "hang on you need a sling" and i was like what? no im fine. it hurts but not that much and then she gave me a sling and i literally started crying at the relief. like leaving my house and being in a conversation where people like wait for me to actually hear and respond and dont get annoyed makes me feel like a real person instead of gods worst mistake.

so i just want nothing more than 2 rip my ribs and spine and bones out of my body or scratch off the skin from my back and arms and scream until my throat is raw and throw up and do whatever it takes to get everything human out of me so i can stop being a disappointment to everyone all the time xx i would love it if i like didnt feel pain or emotions so like if i feel uncomfortable when my sister opens my door without waiting for me to invite her in, no i dont 💖 oh my mom insulted the thing i was super excited about to my face? well now i cant get upset about it for her 2 tell me it doesnt make sense. "it doesnt make sense for you to be upset about this" well now i dont have stinkie feelings anymore. no more illogical emotions i can just be a lean mean clean machine that doesnt get tired or bored or hurt or sad or anything. i can just be what everyone wants me to be and if i cant because its logically impossible then its not my fault.

every time i start crying no matter what someone always asks "why are you crying" and if i say i dont know theyre like "that doesnt make sense" so i just pick from a bag all the reasons i have to cry so they dont tell me to stop so i dont feel guilty when i inevitably cant. that was very useful when i spontaneously burst into tears throughout secondary school. like every time no matter what theud be like "theres no reason to cry" and id be like well now i am dumb i guess haha

[valkyriesryde]

Q WITH BUCKY COS IM STILL SOFT FOR HIM IF YOU DON'T HAVE IT ALREADY

Q: One missed call x 40sBucky Barnes

Warning: sad times ahead but a happy ending i promise

THIS A WHOLE ASS FIC MAN Changed one missed CALL to one missed LETTER. Based on the song All My Loving - Across the Universe italics are lyrics and i made myself fucking emotional goddamn

~~~~~~

“Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you” He held her face in his hands softly and kissed the corners of her mouth as she smiled sweetly with tears in her eyes. “Tomorrow I’ll miss you darling, remember I’ll always be true.” 

She nodded her head and dragged him closer by his neatly tucked tie until his lips crashed against hers and they held each other tightly. In the background he could hear his mother and sister cry, the train’s horn blow and the conductor calling them. 

“Then while I’m away, I’ll write home every day. And I’ll send all my loving to you.” Bucky wiped away her tears and kissed her nose, giving her a smile before he made his way to the train. 

I’ll pretend that I’m kissingThe lips I am missingAnd hope that my dreams will come true

Every letter was drenched in her perfume and every response he sent her he told her he kissed it all over (even if his bunk mates were giving him shit for it) because that’s what he promised you. 

Each letter came like clockwork. The mail came on Thursdays and she met the boy at the door. On Friday mornings he came back for collections and she always had one ready for him to send back to Bucky. It was like nothing had changed, they still talked about everything, complained, told stories about their day as if coming home from work and catching up over dinner. But it wasn’t the same. 

Bucky received his letters about a week after she sent them but it didn’t matter, he cherished those days when mail was delivered. He combed through the box from his mother, then ate the cookies baked by his sister while he read the letter from his love. He always saved it for last. Lying on his bed while his friends teased and poked.

“Never even shown us a picture, she’s probably fake!” They claimed.

“If you saw her you’d have a heart attack she’s so pretty,” he always chimed back. 

And then while I’m awayI’ll write home every dayAnd I’ll send all my loving to you

Then the letters stopped. One Thursday the boy didn’t have anything for her but she still sent one on Friday. Then the next week he still didn’t have one. She thought maybe he was busy fighting, maybe they had a mission of some sorts, she remember him telling her it was getting busier where he was. 

That week Wednesday came and Captain America performed for the 107th. In one of the tents, on a bunk bed that was perfectly made sat an unopened letter and a box of cookies addressed to James Barnes. 

All my loving, I will send to youAll my loving, darling I’ll be true, yeah

Three weeks and she didn’t hear anything and the days got longer and harder to do. She ran to the Barnes residents as quickly as she could on the third Thursday because nothing sat right with her and this wasn’t fair. Her steps slowed as she got near and saw two men in uniform by the door and Mrs Winnifred Barnes in tears in her husband George’s arms. 

Missing In Action.

It got harder. Rebecca moved into your apartment, you couldn’t go home but the rent was getting too much. She needed to get out of the house too. Some days were easier than others, some were very very dark. 

When she’s washing the dishes and thinks she can hear him whistling in the lounge but it’s actually Rebecca probably home early from dinner with her parents. And when she dries her hands she holds the towel and thinks how good it would be to have him home with her to dance in the kitchen like they did. The have him hold her like he did, be with her like he promised he would. 

“Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you,”  he hears her whisper in her ear and his hands on her waist and she does as he says, she always did when she heard his voice. She closes her eyes and for the first time since he missed her letter she feels his lips on her cheek and he squeezes her hips. 

Her eyes go wide and and she turns around to see a tired but happy Bucky looking at her, his shirt untucked, his hair a mess and she knows he’s been pulling at it from nerves. Her heartbeat picks up and she’s forgotten how to speak she doesn’t quite believe he’s in front of her. 

He breathes out a laugh, “baby it’s me,” and she starts laughing and crying as she holds his face in her hands and he peppers her cheeks in kisses.

“It’s you,” she says against his lips and he kisses her strong and hard. Bucky picks up his love and spins them around the kitchen until he’s dizzy and she’s laughing all over. 

“I’m sorry I missed a couple letters, you can catch me up on it all now.”

And then while I’m awayI’ll write home every dayAnd I’ll send all my loving to you

All my loving, I will send to youAll my loving, darling I’ll be true

All my loving, all my lovingWoo, all my loving, I will send to you

[jimimn]

HHFJSLASI YOU AND I ARE JUST PROFESSIONALS WHEN IT COMES TO RAMBLING AND I LOVE IT I'LL MAKE THIS FIRST ASK SHORT SO THAT YOU CAN ADD THE READ MORE AND PUT THE REST UNDER THE CUT SO THAT YOUR FOLLOWERS DON'T HAVE TO DO A LOT OF SCROLLING LMAO - 💫

your brain i love it 😌😌

MISS SHIVI YOU'RE TOO SWEET 🤧💞 HFAKKA JUNGKOOK MADE THE WORLD STOP WITH THAT HAIR DYE AT THIS POINT I'M JUST ✨ manifesting ✨ a selfie of him with that hair and I know for a fact that the moment that one selfie comes out ITS OVER FOR US and OMG IN A BUN??? JDJAKJD I THINK YOURE SPEAKING THE DEVIL INTO EXISTENCE. BLONDE JIKOOK SELCA LETS GO BOYS COME ON DON'T BE SHY 🧚‍♂️🌸

OOOPS THAT IDOL PERFORMANCE DOES LIVE IN MY HEAD RENT FREE THO...ESP ALL OF THEIR GROWLS..CALM DOWN??? JIMIN?? EXCUSE YOU.

AND JUNGKOOK'S OUTFIT WAS SO HOTJFJSLQJDJWKA. I did watch the performances later and can attest that DYNAMITE SLOW JAM IS NOW MY ANTHEM AND BLONDE JUNGKOOK SINGING IT IS DEFINITELY NOT GOOD FOR MY SANITY

CHANEL MODEL!JIMIN MISS SHIVI I AM THINKING MANY THOUGHTS NOW FOR REAL THO HE SHOULD TOTALLY WEAR MORE CHOKERS AND CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM FINISHING A PERFORMANCE ANF THEN RIPPING IT OFF AND THROWING INTO THE CROWD LIKE JSLWLAKF DEATH UPON US ALL!!! Honestly he can wear anything at this point and ummm 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️ BUT FBKSKA I HOPE THIS ISNT WEIRD BUT I JUST THOUGHT OF JIMIN'S COLLARBONES PEAKING OUT FROM UNDER THE CHOKER AND WE'RE GOING A LITTLE FERAL AGAIN

BODY ROLLS DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED THERE IS NOTHING MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN HIM NOT ONLY BEING SO HOT BUT ALSO USING PERFECT TECHNIQUE!! AND THAT GAZE BYE I'M SHORT CIRCUITING HE CLEARLY KNOWS HIS POWER AND ISN'T AFRAID TO USE IT aND THAT LOOK GAAAAH 5TH MUSTER JIMIN COME HOME PLS THE FOOD IS COLD AND EVERYONE'S ASKING WHERE YOU ARE (me....I'm everyone) NO NOO DON'T BE SORRY I LOVE IT TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR MUSINGS *cups face in hand and leans on table*

AND I AGREE!! TAEHYUNG LOOKING GOOD IN THAT SUIT ONLY SHOWS US THAT THE GODS TOOK THEIR SWEET TIME ON HIM AND LMFAO I MEAN THEY'RE NOT WRONG THO 🤡 IS A PRETTY ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF US and omg you've got a sister!! that's so nice 💓

LITERALLY ON WITH THAT DANCE BREAK IN A CONCERT WITH JIMIN JUMPING OVER JUNGKOOK WHEN I TELL YOU I UGLY CRIED FOR HOURS AFTER SEEING THAT DURING THE MV PREMIERE I DON'T THINK I'LL LIVE KNOWING THEY DID IT IN A CONCERT and ooooooo you should definitely keep hoping!! We got an I need u performance, so anything's possible!! I got into them with bs&t so it makes me very 🤧🤧🤧 in retrospect but nothing about jimin dancing his jacket off was 🤧 it was more of a 🥵😵🥴🤕🤒 type of feeling LMAO

I KNOW RIGHT I LOVE HOW THEY ALWAYS GIVE US LIL UPDATES EVERYWHERE LIKE "OO I WENT CAMPING" "OO WE ATE BREAD!!" "OOO LOOK WE'RE JUST GOING TO DROP COVERS AND SELCAS SO YOU CAN LOSE WHATEVER LITTLE SANITY REMAINED!!" BUT YES TIMES LIKE THAT WHEN HE TWEETS JIMIN IS THE LITERAL EMBODIMENT OF THE BIGGEST HEART EMOJI

AND FJSLADHK I NEVER TOLD YOU LMAO MY BRAIN 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️ MY BIAS IS JIMIN!! I MEAN BY THE LOOKS OF IT YOURS IS TOO HE MAKES US ALL SO 💕💓💫💓💗💕🌺🌈💘💓✨💗💓🌸💕💝🌈💓💗 ITS A LITTLE EMBARRASSING HOW MUCH HE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE WOW HOW AM I LETTING A MAN WHOM I DON'T EVEN KNOW HAVE SO MUCH CONTROL OF ME. HE'S JUST... EVERYTHING 🥺 I'M IN MY BREAK AND A LITTLE TOO EMO RIGHT NOW!! BUT I GUESS YOUR BIAS IS JIMIN TOO RIGHT? TAKING BY YOUR LOVELY BLOG AND BRUTALLY HONEST (IN THE BEST WAY!) URL LMAO IF NOT THEM I'M SORRY FOR PRESUMING 🙈🙈 but tell me!! how did you get into them??

(god...I'm just looking and I see I wrote too much I'm so sorry fksjwlfo)-💫

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i love seeing your asks in my inbox ok they make me very happy 🤧🤧 BLONDE JIKOOK IN A BUN SELCA I AM MANIFESTING!!!!!!!! BOYS JUST OPEN YOUR GALLERY AND DROP THEM SELCAS I KNOW YOU HAVE A LOT OF THEM PLS SPARE SOME FOR US THANX 😭

JIMIN IN THAT IDOL PERFORMANCE HOLY SHIT YES 😳 LIKE EXCUSE ME WHAT KIND OF DISRESPECT IS THAT 👁👄👁 and then in the same week he became small cuddly jimin with a boopable nose during the home performance 😔

istg jungkook looked like a very hot rich ceo of a huge company or sth 😳😳 (which he actually is sdfghjk atleast partially sdfg)

CHANEL NEEDS TO CALL JIMIN ASAP 🔫🔫🔫 AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING MAKING ME IMAGINE WILD SCENARIOS LIKE THAT 😭 ok imagine him smirking the “i know im hot” smirk after he throws the choker DEATH OK ABSOLUTE DEATHHHHHHHH and omg yes his collarbones along with the choker 😳😳😳😳 (and no its not weird asdfghj chill) 

AND OMG THAT IS THE BIGGEST PROBLEM RIGHTTTTT!!!! THAT PARK JIMIN IS ABSOLUTELY AWARE OF THE POWER HE HOLDS AND HOW HOT HE IS!!!!! AND HE USES IT JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT WHICH IS KNOWS IS ENOUGH FOR US TO GO ABSOLUTELY FERAL and he’s such a fucking tease too dear lord i can’t with him 😭😭😭😭😭 AND OMG “*cups face in hand and leans on table*” STOP BEING SO CUTE OKAY WTF I AM BLUSHING HERE 😭😭😭😭

AND YES 🤡 IS DEFINITELY ALL OF US 🤣 i remember waiting for 12 am kst every freaking day for a week before BE dropped and big hit was like “not today you absolute clowns” on all our faces 🤡 AND YESS AAAAAAAA she’s not my own sister though!! she’s my aunt’s daughter. they’ve come to visit us for a week 🥰🥰

ON DANCE BREAK WITH JIMIN JUMPING OVER JUNGKOOK HOLY FRIKKIN YES BUT HAVEN’T THEY STOPPED DOING THAT JUMP IN THE RECENT PERFORMANCES? im sad :(((( BUT YES THAT IN A CONCERT WITH ARMY CHEERING AND FANCHANTS AND EVERYTHING HOLY SHIT CAN’T IMAGINE THE ENERGY IN THE STADIUM DURING THAT 🤯🤯🤯🤯 ARE YOU KIDDING I GOT INTO THEM WITH BS&T AS WELL. i am never ever ever going to be over that song. and yes jimin’s “accidental” jacket flips in bs&t are the reason is why i live and breathe 😌😌 (and simultaneously die multiple deaths) I AM NOT EVEN MAKING SENSE ANYMORE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AND OMG I KNOW RIGHT WHEN CHRISTMAS LOVE DROPPED WITHOUT A FUCKING CLUE I WENT !@#$%^&*()&^%$#@q@#$%^&*( BECAUSE I HAD JUST WOKEN UP FROM SLEEP AND /?????? NEW SONG FROM JIMIN??????? THAT FELING WAS JUST HHHHHHHHHHHHHH atleast tae gave us a hint BUT I WAS STILL NOT READY WHEN SNOW FLOWER DROPPED. DAMN I HOPE THEY DON’T DO THIS NO WARNING THING WITH KTH1 AND JJK1 BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO BE FUCKING SLEEPING WHEN THEY DROP ASDFGHJK  AND JIMIN AAAAAAAA JIMIN I MISS HIM SO MUCH CAN HE GO LIVE AGAIN PLS I JUST WANT TO HEAR HIS SOFT VOICE AND SEE HIS EYE SMILE AND FLOOFY HAIR AND TINY HANDS :(((((((

AND OMG YOURS TOO???? 😭😭😭 AND PRESUMPTION WHAT PRESUMPTION OMG OFC MY BIAS IS JIMIN (and six bias wreckers 😌😌) LIKE I HAVE JIMIN IN MY ICON AND IN MY HEADER AND IN MY URL AND I GIF JIMIN MOSTLY SO 😭😭😭 WHAT PRESUMPTION 😭😭😭 and god yes i love every little thing about him 🥺🥺🥺 FROM HIS SOCK DOODLES TO HIM BEING SUPER CLUMSY AND HIS JACKET FLIPS AND HIS SEXY BRAIN AND HIS KIND HEART AND HIM NOT GIVING TWO FUCKS ABOUT GENDER TO HIM GROWLING ON STAGE TO HIS NIPSLIPS I JUST!!!!!LOVE!!!!!!EVERYTHING!!!!! 🤧🤧🤧🤧 AND yes lmao my url ok story time!! so when i made this blog... i didn’t know i’d get into giffing and stuff lol so the friend who got me into bts (i’ll come to that story later) suggested jiminsjacketflip as a url for my blog but i was like nah this doesn’t sound cool so i added a bit of ✨pazzaz✨ and made it flipthatjacketjiminie LMFAOOOOO and ive been wanting to change it for a while now because its so fucking long and my watermark on gifs looks shitty because of that 🤡 but i haven’t found anything as unique as this one yet and i also think that if I change my url people won’t recognize me so im just..... living with this one lmaooooo 🤡

AND OKAY OMG so i got into them at the end of june 2020. My friend anna (who also has a blog and makes a++++ gifs @/lifegoesmon) got me into them. She made me listen to them and the first song i heard was stay gold as far as i remember and then it was BS&T AND GODDAMN THE WAY I GOT FUCKING HOOKED TO THE SONG I KEPT LISTENING TO IT ALLLLLLLL DAYYYYYYY and then she showed me the performance for bs&t and i knew i was a goner 🥴🥴 then I watched chaotic bts compilations and they were so fucking funny and adorable that i went like???? how are they so sexy and intimidating on stage and this adorable and chaotic off stage?😭😭😭 we listened to bts’ discography for like three hours on the first day and she shared her playlist with me and stuff and god I just fell for their music. and then obviously with their dance and then obviously with everything about them 🥺🥺 HOW ABOUT YOUUUUUUUU? WHEN AND HOW DID YOU GET INTO THEM???? (and pls don’t be sorry sdfghjk i love reading your asks 💖💖💖) OH ALSO DID YOU WATCH RUNNNNN???????? WHICH ONES DID YOU WATCH????

[justsomeuselessvoid]

Halsey- Manic (review and analysis)

Ashley- I’m really loving the instrumentals on this song. It reminds me of an idea floating through space and time. Perhaps the idea is to let go of a relationship that isn’t there anymore but is still floating around for reminiscent purposes. I also think the movie quote is a great way to end such a beautiful, strongly vocalized piece and it goes without saying that it’s the perfect transition into the next song.

Clementine- so while I was going further research on this album, I came across the initial intent behind this song. There are two meanings being voiced in this song. When she sings “I don’t need anyone,” one voice is calm while the other voice is happy. The shouting suggests a state of mania while the normal singing voice is while she is experiencing a depressive state. I like how this is incorporated into the whole idea of the album. It also seems like one of those songs where the fans would appreciate shouting.

I’m also coming across some meanings of my own. The theory that artists are depressed is represented in this song strongly. So when she sings this live, I’d imagine she would maybe sing the chorus instead of shouting it (I’ve never seen her live but trust me it’s on my bucket list.) So artists are constantly involved in making their fans happy. The fans would be screaming this song at the top of their lungs while she sings it.

I am also noticing some parallels which I am a huge fan of. She starts the song off by saying “I'd like to tell you that my sky's not blue, it's violent rain,” while in the song Hurricane off of Badlands, she says “I’m the violence in the pouring rain,” and I absolutely love that reference.

Graveyard- I enjoy this song A LOT. I feel like she went in the right direction choosing this song and the single “Without Me,” to promote her album. I have to say that it sums up the album perfectly. This song discusses the turmoil within a harmful relationship and how she would have stayed had she ignored red flags.

You should be sad- I might get some backlash for this but this song isn’t for me. I love how she is experimenting with different genres of music on this album but I have never been a fan of country style music. I would just find it more enjoyable if I liked country. However, it is not a bad song at all, it just isn’t for me. It lowkey gives me a Carrie Underwood ``Before He Cheats” vibe though, which I am totally on board with.

Forever...(is a long time)- THIS IS WHAT IM FUCKING TALKING ABOUT.  This song is seriously a certified banger. It starts off with a somewhat happy melody and slowly transitions into a somber piano melody which is beautifully written. Then she belts it out with the lyrics “Build love, build God, build provinces. Build calluses, break promises ‘Cause I could never hold a perfect thing and not demolish it.” I also love how distortion is added on her voice mixed in with a haunting organ in the background. She ends the song with, “talk to your man, tell him he’s got bad news coming,” which I think is absolutely iconic, and yet another great transition into the next song.

Dominic’s Interlude- This song is definitely influenced by music in a different era. I like whatever effect they used on his voice in this song. This would advocate that another person sees the toxicity within her relationship within their perspective, as the lyrics suggest.

I HATE EVERYBODY- I feel like a lot of people can relate to this song and I think hearing it live would be such a cool thing to experience. This was definitely written for fans to scream at the top of their lungs.

3am- The rock influences are without a doubt prominent in this song, and it would be so cool to experience live. She often talks about her rock influences and I'm happy she decided to make it known within her music. I think it works really well for her various influences intervened throughout the album. The song talks about how different relationships affect her and the people she surrounds herself with. These relationships are, however, temporary to avoid loneliness and wishes they were more than just physical.

Without Me- At the end of the previous song, she incorporated a voicemail that praises the fact that this is her best song. I think she is absolutely proud of this song (trust me I listened to it a million fucking times when it came out) and that’s why she put it in the song. Anyway, I think this is a very delicate way of saying “fuck you, I don’t need you.” It’s a great single and I don’t have much to say other than it is absolutely perfect.

Finally // beautiful stranger - She talks about how she comes across a stranger who she is interested in pursuing a relationship with. However, she is afraid to continue in fear that this person is going to take advantage of her because of previous relationships. In light of this conflict, she is hoping that this person stays because she likes this person. I like the guitar progression in this song and the strongly vocalised pieces throughout.

Alanis’ Interlude - It wouldn't be a Halsey album without her pride in being bisexual, and this song does a perfect job in doing so. It starts off with Alanis’ famous strong vocals and delves into pumping drum beats. The lyrics suggest sexual innuendos referring to her physical relationship with the same sex. It established how she feels the same about women as she does men and it does not make a difference to her. She feels strongly about the idea that labels mean nothing and how she longs for acceptance. She also wanted Alanis to feature in the song because of how she impacted her musical endeavors. I love her feature in this song and the harmonies between Halsey and Alanis are ON POINT.

Killing boys- topping things off with another great revenge song. I noticed how she includes “you don’t need me anymore” in the beginning of a song and she ends the song with “I don't need you anymore,” which symbolizes the progress of getting over someone. I would have to say this is my favorite song off the album besides Alanis’ Interlude.

SUGA’s Interlude- I didn’t like this song at first, mainly because I never got into Kpop. But it’s not necessarily a kpop song, which is what kept me entertained. It’s starting to grow on me recently. This song indicates the struggle of wanting to keep going forward and giving up at the same time, which I had been struggling to find a song with this concept until this one came along. I think it is also just the struggle of being an artist and coming to a common ground of making people happy but also keeping yourself happy simultaneously.

More- I was reading up on this song, and she states how it is a song written about a person who does not exist yet. She is referring to her unborn child, which she has also stated having reproductive issues insinuating her struggle to have children. I was so unaware that this was the meaning behind the song and I am happy that she confirmed this because I’m certain that it would help a lot of people going through the same problem.

Still Learning- One of the main themes throughout this album are also condensed into this particular song. This one is heavy on the idea of learning to love yourself, which she is relying on other people in order to obtain that benefit as suggested by other songs off of this album. This song, however, is learning to love yourself without the help of others. It also suggests the downsides of being a well known artist and how it’s difficult to maintain good self-esteem in such a career.

929- This song is just absolutely beautiful. It seems as if she summarized her entire life and somehow condensed it down into 3 minutes. The instrumentals are so simple, yet her lyrics are just rambling one intense subject onto the next. Everything she talks about in this song is powerful. It talks about moving, love, acceptance, growth, and so on. However, I wanted to talk about something worth noting. Before this album came out, Halsey was doing a Q&A on Twitter and a fan pointed out how she stated this is going to be a very personal album. A fan has said, “I feel like you’ve said that about the last two albums,” and she responded with, “Nah. There’s two types of honesty. Answering a question with the truth and offering the truth without being asked. This is the latter.” This is a perfect ending to such a beautifully written album.

I'm giving this album a strong 9 out of 10.  Let me just say that it is INSANELY hard for me to say anything bad about this album if i'm being completely honest. I’ve been listening to it constantly and keep discovering things that I would have never guessed. She hit the nail on the head with the themes and the overall state of mania in this album. An emotional roller coaster for sure.

[ghost-drabbles-bc]

Soft Q&A

Thanks for tagging us @eyesoreslashers!

G = Pastor Gorey M = Cardinal Mori

1) What’s the smell of your shampoo?

G: I.... honestly don’t know... Pantene flavor?

M: Man™ (Axe)

2) What’s your aesthetic?

G: The look of something rotting, but not smelling. It’s in the of the woods in the dead of night, and everything is just... peaceful I guess... (I’m sure it’s pretty edgy but fuck it)

M: You’re at a rock concert, the multicolor lights coloring the entire area, the music making you excited and full of energy. Seeing everyone in different kinds of rock culture gear (goths, punks, etc), Not being good at dancing but you need to scream out your excitement. (uhm, im not too great at describing my aesthetics lol)

3) What is your favourite time of the day?

G: Middle of the night

M: Middle of the night too.

4) What do you like most about the beach?

G: I’m a big fan of the water. Calming and nice to just submerge yourself and shit (man I’m sounding really stupid in this one...)

M: I hate beaches.

5) What do you worry about constantly?

G: Rejection, not being good enough for literally anyone or anything, being alone, Dying and as an effect it hurts people (I’d hate to hurt another due to something that couldn’t be helped), being hated, never being ‘the one’ to someone OH LOOK ALL OF MY BIGGEST FEARS JUST OUT ON DISPLAY

M: I constantly think that im the reason for everything bad happening, mostly people. Someone is now in a really big depression? My fault. I know it is but they’re not telling me. Always afraid im going to get yelled at for asking or saying something.

6) What is a song you’ve cried to before?

G: Killer by Phoebe Bridgers

M: Recently? Pretty sure it was La Montra Mori (ghost lol). But I know a song i always cry to is Moonlight Sonata. Every. Single. Time. But any kind of piano music can make me really emotional.

7) What are some relaxing tips for your followers?

G: uh.... Tea, sleep, piano music.... I’m not the most relaxed person so this one’s a bit hard.

M: Baths with some nice music help me alot. Even though im the most laziest person idk how to help others relax lol.

8) What are some things that make you tear up?

G: I’m the biggest fucking baby in the history of ever so it doesn’t take much.

M: Piano music, sometimes seeing other people cry make me upset too, dysphoria and knowing my family doesn’t accept me being trans, also being scared i’ll never be able to transition.

9) What is your favourite from each of the five senses?

G: I’m gonna say Hearing because with it, I can hear Ghost. I just wish I could hear a little better lol.

M: mmmm tie between hearing and taste. hearing cause i love music and taste cause i love food.

10) What is one alternate reality you’d want to be in?

G: One where I could fucking cuddle III and Copia. I like the one I’m living in, but maybe one where I look a little more like I want to look...

M: I would like one where i was born a cis male.

11) What are some troubles you face on a day to day basis?

G: I can’t see all that well, and my hearing is no better. I get weird looks all the time from the way I dress and all that, and I don’t put shit on my face so I don’t look any better lol. I’m not small either, so that’s not fun. Depression is still a big thing for me, but I’m getting through it all slowly. I’m living my best life, and people who don’t like that about me can leave me alone(honestly).

M: So much misgendering. My voice is a huge issue for me but i can’t do anything about it.

12) What is one scene of a book that’s made you really sad?

G: READ A CORNER OF THE UNIVERSE AND YOU’LL KNOW... YOU’LL KNOW....

M: As someone who doesn’t do a lot of reading it’s hard to say. I don’t know about sad but Fahrenheit 451 makes me emotional?

Say something to all your followers:

G: Thank you so much for liking the work I’ve made so far, and I really hope that you all stick around and enjoy the work that we’re going to continue to make! This fandom has helped me through some.... pretty rough shit.... I’m glad I’ve been able to be around all of you to help me through it. You’re all the best, and I wish all of you well!

M: I’m really thankful for everyone in this fandom. You guys make such good art, writings and anything else im missing. It’s also helped me through some tough times and it’s sometimes the only thing that makes me happy anymore. Thank you so much for being here to support us and each other.

Tagging: @loreillustrated @atricksterproblem @perinferiadastra @angrymintleaf @papa-emeritus-dclxvi @sister-of-sin-readings

[personagf-moved]

alphabet & soft questions ✨

I was tagged by my bb’s @prksjmiin (alphabet ask) and @joonieblossoms (soft ask) and i didn’t want to make two separate posts so im gonna apologize in advance bc i decided to stick both posts together :’) dkdkkdkd yall aint gotta read everything but if u do ily and im sorry i write novels on novels dlfksdkf

i’ll tag @koyasdad, @1ovegf, @joonlit, @sleepyyyoongs, @constellationstars and @capgi 💘

honestly feel free to do either one or both or none if u want dkkdkdkd i just wanted to tag u guys bc ily

Alphabet ask:

a // age: 21

b // birthplace: new jersey!

c // current time: 1:17 am

d // drink you had last: coffee

e // easiest person to talk to: my brother when he isnt being an absolute fool

f // favorite songs: 

aint it fun - paramore

trivia love 

honey - kehlani

abbey - mitski

moonlight - ariana grande

g // grossest memory: i was in the city one time and a bird shit on my forehead. i think about it at least twice a week 

h // horror yes or horror no:  H O R R O R   Y E S   B A B E E E Y Y Y Y Y Y Y im the absolute worst person i’ll dead ass watch a scary movie/video or read horror stories by myself just bc. 

i // in love: with my whole ass soulmate namjoon. i luv u string bean man

j // jealous of people: im not even gonna try to lie i am a very jealous person and i am so sorry about it but i really cant help it lmfao. blame my scorpio venus i guess

k // kids of your own someday: when i say i have been thinking about this everyday.........! i wanna have it all i want the kids the white picket fence the dream house everything. i cant wait to be a mommy one day and love n support my bb’s :’)

l // love at first sight or should i walk by again: we a whole ass fool on main and believe in love at first sight!!!! i really do believe soulmates are a true thing and if a love is destined to be across an infinite span of lifetimes and universes then it will always find its way back. when you know, you know, and i genuinely believe that. 

m // middle name: padilla

n // number of siblings: 1 older brother, 1 half brother (older), and 1 half sister (older)

o // one wish: to find true love

p // person you last called: my manager bc i had a work question lol

q // question you’re always asked: “why are you like this” (usually friends @ me when i wild out...which is like everyday), “are you mad?”, “how old are you REALLY?”, “how’s your brother?” (bc he ghosts all family n i have to speak on his behalf like always fsdfjksdf)

r // random fact about you: i once used a horrible bootleg copy of the force awakens to make a star wars crack video dubbing the part in shrek when he first meets donkey over the scene when rey first met bb-8 and it went viral and has like 200,000 notes and even had articles written about it. also i had a weird fascination with jar jar binks and danny devito when i was in high school and i had a habit of making either one of them my icon on school accounts so i could make people laugh when they emailed me or saw me in a word document skfkkkfkf

s // song you last sang: “abbey” by mitski :’(

t // time you woke up: exactly 10 this morning and it was weird bc i picked up my phone and it had JUST turned 10 when i looked i was so shook lol 

u // underwear colour: she be black 

v // vacation destination: paris bc im a basic bitch :’) also japan/all asian countries. i wanna connect with my roots more :/

w // worst habit: yeeting the fuck outta people’s lives when i think they’re getting too close/when i get overwhelmed. im sorry im a flighty bitch @ anyone i’ve ever ghosted :( i love anyone who’s ever tried to talk to me and its never ur fault, i just get the urge to escape sometimes and i’m trying to fix it 

x // x-rays: omg @ tori dead ass me too tho, i had x-rays when i broke my arm when i was around 6 :o

y // your favorite food: my mom’s spaghetti! and sushi. also i love any and all filipino food but specifically i like nilaga and kare-kare oooo baby

z // zodiac sign: we’re a proud libra sun 

Soft ask:

What’s the smell of your shampoo?

we got them fruity scents up in here we keep that shit smellin like a goddamn strawberry field take a fuckin whiff babes

What’s your aesthetic?

the moon and stars, soft pink and purple sunsets with a burning red on the horizon, sunrises as well, paintings and generally all art revolving around flowers and the celestial, pretty pastel pink and yellow, the sound and smell of rain falling against the window while being curled up in bed uwu 

What’s your favorite time of the day and why?

lately it’s been night time. i generally get more creative and feel more at home during the night. i miss being a morning person tho. 

What do you most like about the beach?

not a lot fklsjdjfkslkdflksdlkf i usually only go to get a tan and walk the boardwalk with my friends, but if i had it my way i would never step foot in the ocean for the rest of my life sdjdjdjdjsj we dont trust her!!!!!!!!!

What do you worry about constantly?

when i’m gonna figure out what i wanna do with my life lol. i took a year off to think about it but all i ended up doing was working myself to exhaustion and getting comfy in a work only mindset and now i’m only even more confused about what i want to pursue. i’m just glad im going to chicago next week because i feel like a change of setting for even just a week could give me a much needed reset on my mindset going into the next year. i worry about the future but the problem is i worry about the present too lol. oh well, we’ll figure it out!

What is a song you’ve cried to before?

oh boy...

trivia love

moonchild

first love

she used to be mine - waitress soundtrack

20 something - sza

26 - paramore

the letter - kehlani

landslide - fleetwood mac

when you see my friends - mayday parade

and many........many many more...... skskskks music is my main emotional outlet so naturally im gonna cry over anything that reflects my heart

What are some relaxing tips for your followers?

as The World’s Number One Most Stressed Out Human Being™️ i am definitely in no way fit to give advice on how to relax LMFAO 

but i guess something that always works for me is putting on music i KNOW will make me sing a long or make me happy to distract me from the nerves i’m feeling. also putting on my favorite comfort movies to make me feel better (they’re big fish, scott pilgrim vs the world, and spirited away btw lol)

 What are some things that make you tear up?

the ending of coco, seeing my mom cry, or anyone i love cry tbh, when children are neglected/abused, thinking about the world i’ll have to bring my future children into and how i’m going to be able to teach them to stay strong and bright in the face of it, lyrics that hit too close to home, absolutely anything tbh i cry easy

What is your favorite from each sense?

sight - the view of my cherry blossom tree against a pink sunset in the spring of my childhood home, a person’s eyes and how they light up when they smile, especially when they crinkle as they laugh

smell - the earth after rain, a forest in autumn

taste - my mom’s cooking, good coffee on an early morning

sound - beautiful melodies and harmonies to accompany them, a baby cooing, birds chirping at sunrise

touch - my pillow when its nice and cool, a cat’s tummy, a baby’s cheeks, fingers running through my hair

What is an alternative reality you’d like to live in?

one where im married to namjoon n we have a lot of smart musical prodigy babies who have his dopey smile and i live comfortably in our big ass home in korea where i raise our babies n get that good pipe down every night like i should

jk i wanna live in a reality where magic is real and i can cast spells and live my best life as the true witch that i am

What are some troubles you face on a daily basis?

for starters im ugly as shit so theres one

if we mean practically then i have really bad knees and i recently busted them again so its been really hard getting up and down stairs lately and bending over 

but idk theres not really much. emotionally i just tend to get withdrawn and timid in public so it can be hard for me to speak up when i go out

What is one scene from a book that makes you really sad?

unfortunately i haven’t read as many books lately as i did when i was younger...so a lot of my memories are from books that i read like as a kid lol......THAT BEING SAID i think rue and finnick’s death in the hunger games was truly heartbreaking to read, the spine of my copies of both books have cracks on those pages bc i had to read it several times just to really believe it. also i thought it was written so heart wrenchingly well that i had to go back.  also in looking for alaska when pudge, a man who loved to know people’s last words, realized that he would never know alaska’s last words. im also really thankful for that book bc it introduced me to wh auden’s poetry and to this day he’s still one of my favorite poets of all time.  

Say something to your followers:

thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU for following me and for some reason deciding to stay after how many times i act up on the daily. all jokes aside i really appreciate every single one of you no matter the number and i sincerely hope that you always have love and joy in your heart and that 2019 treats you well. i HONESTLY mean it when i say that i am always here if you guys want to talk or send me things or roast me or talk shit seriously i wanna hear it all and talk about it all i think all of you are so interesting and so beautiful and i’d love to get to know more about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS! yeet!

[minako-arisato-wildfemaleprotag]

Weird Headcanon...

Okay so Ive been thinking a lot. I ship a strange ship not a lot of people ship, FeMc and Jin Shirato.Its my guilty pleasure and I wish that rather than the other hermit they had for p3p they had him in a similar way they did it for the male route. Anyways... my headcanon...... This whole ramble has spoilers for persona 3 as a whole the journey and the answer, about the end and if you are upset by spoilers that are for a game that came out in the early 2000s then please just be careful... also mentioning of Shadows cry, but no spoilers because it isn't relevant to this.

Social Link wish

So My thought as explained above was the Hermit would be him, and in place of the teacher, playing in game and having a similar thing. Just a basic social link with a romance option. the reveal being kinda like to the one here with a link to the fic this is biased on  and leading to his sacrifice. It would be a one off date, and not able to do anything else with him other than the normal fighting, some changed texts of self doubt or something. Just a big angst war inside of him, and FeMc. 

Explanation on how Jin could have lived

So in shadows cry (the novel which has Jin as the main “protag” of sorts) It goes so much into detail about Jin, and shows his more human side, how he jokes around, has a friend outside of strega who he cares about, and even how he is the one to control the temperature for the shower when Chidori uses it. In this we also learn that Jin makes his own grenades and sometimes they come out more like fireworks than explosives.  Something that is bound to happen from time to time when you learned to make your own at home. 

Now here is my thought,  In the end of persona, where Jin sacrifices himself and blows up the shadows at the top of Tartarus, what if he had a malfunctioning grenade? What if it was enough to just burn him a bit, and take the shadows out? What if he got out of Tartarus? What if he made it out just to pass out outside and get carried away to the hospital for his burns?  I would Imagine FeMc looking for him after with no luck.

My thought is he could have lived, because honestly if Chidori lived, (Which she did, if you play persona 3 the answer) when we saw her actually disappear, its possible Jin could be too. Going on to living his life after the whole thing, healed and scarred, left with no one to be around, decides to just live his life as a semi functioning adult. Maybe He gets a job, earns some money, Moves to another town and gets an apartment, and so on. I would imagine him having almost war like flashbacks, things triggering attacks that are hard to calm down from like hearing sonic booms, or something. Just doing what he can to live, after all FeMc fought so save the world, so why put it to waste? 

Now for the less legnthy part, FeMc.

So for FeMC Hamuko/Minako. You see, because she isnt technically Canon, But an alternate dimension version of Makoto/Minato, In The answer MC is the seal to the door, you cant have FeMc as that seal, which is why she isn’t canon, but in the end why does that have to be a bad thing.... maybe she doesn’t have to give her life so much. I’m thinking that maybe rather than her body and soul dying that maybe loosing her memories of everything and everyone would be her sacrifice. Maybe after her passing out on the roof and the coma she eventually wakes up, unlike Makoto/Minato. Maybe she Wakes up with no memory, has to go live with her family again and then continues to go to school and start her life over from that point. Finishing high school, and going to collage. SEES still being friends with her but refusing to bring it all up in fear of hurting her more, as they tried to bring it up to her before, only causing headaches and sadness for not remembering. 

How they meet up again

I’m thinking maybe someday Hamuko/Minako and Jin maybe meet up, Jin instantly knowing who she is and nervous about talking to her but forced to because he works some minimum wage job as IDFK a fucking Ice cream man at a shop, or maybe even more realistically a computer lab at a collage or a guy who fixes computers because why not. Both grown more, Jin becoming a bit less scrawny, and Hamuko/Minako more womanly and full. When Jin asks her how shes been all awkwardly realizes she doesn't know who he is. Through some research finding out she lost her memory and even contacted Mitsuru out of confusion. I think it could be an interesting situation where Jin is stuck wanting to help her get her memory back and falling for her. Helping himself become more at ease with himself as a person having someone to be around because its obvious he is a very co-dependent person biased on his relationship with Takaya. Maybe he helps her get her memories back, or maybe she never does, just believing everyone and learning to accept everything how it is. 

Conclusion

Over all I would have just loved to have a Jin route in P3P, Maybe learned more about him and how he though about things, and why he sacrificed himself to help SEES. Some people got to see how he was in shadows cry, but even the it never came out in English.... fan translations are hard to find, As it is I can only find one chapter right now of shadows cry in English.  https://gekkoukanhigh.livejournal.com/167261.html Right here for those who want it. Im really excited about persona Q 2 and it got me thinking about this whole thing again. I would really love to see more fan art of these two, The happy go lucky  ready to help girl and the used and abused experiment boy. If anyone has any thoughts to put into this or want to voice anything Im here for discussion, Honestly I would love to discuss this! As it is I kinda want to discuss this with my Fiance, but alas... Ive done enough RPs of this ship, too bad I come up with a good idea now, but this would be difficult to RP due to the slow pacing it would have. Anyways thanks for reading I know I'm silly for coming up with this for a ship no one likes but ehh!