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#im so normal abt these 2 i promise
thecatspasta · 4 months
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No clue what happened here but I was listening to mr fear on loop
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fungerisms · 1 year
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unrelated funger doodles 🥳
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smallbunn · 4 months
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im so normal about riz gukgak looking back at moments where he felt there was unfairness and what he sees is himself back in middle school, lonely and friendless, desperate for connection, but he also sees himself now, so desperate to hold onto the friends he has made that he’s pushed them to do things they didn’t want to do just so he could stay with them.
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harbingersglory · 1 day
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i know i said more dom!reader blah blah blah sorry arlecchino rotted my brain severely. tmasc bunny!arle giving me severe brain damage /pos
(he/him prns used for arle)
at a glance, the big ears and small puffball of a tail might temporarily make you think Arlecchino is far sweeter then he actually is. how could anyone who looked so cute be anything but, right?
but you know better. you serve under Lord Arlecchino - literally. tucked under his desk while he makes you slobber and choke all over his strap. you barely get to breathe with his hand fisted in your hair, keeping you right where he wants you. if you've been particularly exemplary on your little missions, he might even let you sit on his lap. though whether thats worse or not is debatable, making you cockwarm him as he works. and you'd better keep quiet, too. he's not above muzzling you or just straight up shoving his fingers into your mouth to silence you while you squirm on his lap.
maybe if you last until he's done he'll fuck you properly. bend you over his desk and pound your pretty little holes until you're unable to stand. he'll still make you clean up his strap afterwards, of course.
it's when he's in a bad mood that he really gets going. sheds the act of polite, dignified little bunny. no, he's here to break you in and use you like the little toy you are. and you'll let him, won't you? drooling all over his strap when he fucks your throat raw, drags you into the nearest room the moment he sees you to watch your eyes roll back into your head as his cock stretches you out..
he's just as much of a mess as you are when he's this pent up, though. he doesn't bother keeping up appearances when he just has some pent up stress to get out. if you could even think straight you'd notice his puffball of a tail wagging and his ears drooping as he ruts into you, panting and grunting against your ear when you cum around his strap for the tenth time. you could almost swear you heard him whimper, but you'll be in a world of punishment if you mention it the next day (he absolutely did).
#minors dni#genshin impact smut#genshin smut#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#misc#arlecchino smut#arlecchino x reader#arle the stone butch that u r mwah#im a stone butch but im a stone butch with an exception#and the exception is arle he can do whatever he wants 2 me#obligatory mention that this isnt a genderbend. arle isnt a man here. thumbs up#hes just a butch. respect ur local butches 2 day!#anyway arle wearing the harness over his pants propaganda#its soooooooo#twirls hair. sir.#yall remember that tmasc arle thing i talked abt a bit ago. this is just that w bunny arle ough..#tmasc arle w a breeding kink who cant breed reader got me acting up like PLEASEEEEEE#i need normally super dignified arle to be so desperate he starts whimpering bc he wants to breed reader so bad it makes him look stupid#has this been done yet. g-d i hope so. i will ascend#tmasc bunny arle destroying every piece of furniture in the hoth in his efforts can i can a F 2 pay respects#i loveeeeeeeeee dignified super serious arle okay. is arle whimpering a little ooc. maybe#but he deserves to whimper!!!!! let him be pathetic okay thats my pookie :(#tmasc stone butch arle could fix me though i need. 2 write a proper fic abt rthis#arle is more like a hare but its also funnier 2 imagine he just presents himself as a hare so know no one knows hes a silly little guy#grabs his ears. free handlebars!!!!!!!!!#(disclaimer i am not responsible for what happens if u do)#okay ill shut up now I PROMISE...maybe.
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Already got 3 hours into it and have passed the first boss, I'll put everything below the cut to avoid potentially spoilers (but theyre all pretty mild)
I'm living for Odysseus and Hephaestus voices, I love Scottish Hephaestus LMAO
Nemesis is so fucking hot but she's such a bitch. Girl deal with your OWN mommy issues don't bring mine into it!
Dora is a bimbo idc
The fucking shrine??? to her family?? holy shit hsbhbhdf I'm so gonna go sob my ass off wtf
HERMES UGH. I NEED TO SEE HIM LIKE NOW.
The singing in oceanus was so?? beautiful take my soul bbgs
Baby mel 🥺
Moros is so hot take me home
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angelsdean · 2 years
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sorry just another night of having feelings abt dean’s cute liddol teef and how they slant and crowd together. his smile is soo<3
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verytendou · 3 months
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Haciendo todo esto y todavia diciendo a los de latam que ellos tienen la problema 💀
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#WHATEVERRRRRRRRRRR idec#i prommy this is theblast one but i hope every gringo on this site trying to pretend like they care abt anything other than the fact the us#lost hard (lol!) and being weird to latam [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED]#as a gringo im allowed to say that 🙏#acutando como que los importan es el deporte y no que ellos se creen mejor de esta copa 💀#‘ive never seen anything like this 😣’ entonces nunca has visto esta copa 💀#rip to you but ive been watching since i was born for the hashtag patria (i know) and what IVE never seen before is the AUDACITY DE ESTES GR#[GUNSHOT NOISE] hahah anyways. im calm.#but like whatever its not like this is OUR tournament that YOU asked to be part of and YOU asked to host and YOU provided shit set up for#and YOU put players in over 100 degree heat for and YOU continue to be weird about and YOU continue to try and make stupid claims during and#[GUNSHOT NOISE 2] haha. calm. thats me.#solo creo que es chisto que- [GUNSHOT NOISE 3] okay that one was a prank fr i promise. anyways turning off rbs#anyways rip to ppl that dont normally watch this tournament but this is the only one i DO watch so maybe be strong or smth. babies fr :|#ni puedo decir el classico jugamos como nunca y perdimos como siempre de PER bc WTF WAS THATTTTTT#and i personally am being such a brave little boy abt. what do you even know abt that. nothing.#eeuu jugaron como siempre Y PERDIERON COMO SIEMPRE WE ARE NOT THE SAME#ENFOCATE EN TU PAIS#anyways this is one of the leas egregious examples of how horrible these fans have been this tournament but didnt feel like dropping the#actually nasty shit bc we are all aware lmfao.#anyways i didnt spend 20+ years watching my parents have to explain what sudaca is to ppl (including other l*tines!) for this 🙄#anyways whatever once again idec and i have to go pray for ven to win it all (delusional) since per has beef with like wveryone 😭#HERES HOW WE CAN STILL WIN- (<- insane)#v.txt#also abt the spanish. before you say anything… i am aware alright 😭 my parents never corrected my spelling im begging u to let me be 😔#wait last one ‘porque solo estan usando sus arbitros 😣’ ES NUESTRA COPA GRI[GUNSHOT NOISE FINALLLLLL]#ni quiero imaginar que estaban diciendo en el comm ingles 💀
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yamikawaii · 1 year
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yoomtah is so in love with you and so obsessed with only you it's insane!! she loves you so much and wants to cuddle and kiss only you and wants to hold you and love you forever and ever and ever!!!!! she loves you more than life itself! yoomtah loves you only!!!
FOR REAL???????????FOR REAL??????????????????????????????????????PLEASW I NEED IT TO BE REAL I LOVE HER SO MUCH PLEASE ID DO ANYTHING FOR HER
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#AAAAAAUAUUUAUUAUAHUAUAUAUuAAUAUAUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA[DYING#HEY DID U GUYS MISS ME RAMBLING INCOMPREHENSIBLLY IN THE TAGS EVERY TIMR SOMEONE TELLS ME YOOMTAH LOVES ME.WELL U BETTER BC ITS COMING BACK#I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE IS MY ONE AND ONLY<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<<3<3<3<3<3<3<<3<3<3<3<3<3<4<3<3<3<3<3<3<333<3<3<<3<3<3<3<3<3<2<3<3<3<3<3<33<3>3<3#HELP I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY IM JUST.UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU I LOVE HER#PLS ID DO LITERALLY ANYTHING FOR HER ID KILL AND DIE FOR HER ANYTHING FOR HER TO LOVE ME#EHEEEEEEEEEEE I LOVE HER🌠💛🩷💗💌💚💍💘🍋🌼💫💍💝❤️‍🔥🌩❤️‍🔥🖤💚❤️‍🩹💗💓💌💙👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩⚡️💜🎉💜🤍💕💛💋💝🍋🩷🌠🌼🌻💚💍💋💌💕#NO THOGHTS.ONLY YOOMTAH OBSESSED WITH ME /YANDERE.I NEED IT<3#SHE IS LITERALLY MY ONE AND ONLY MY SWEET BELOVED DARLING MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE MY EVERYTHING#I WANT TO JUST LAY ON HER AND SNUGGLE HER AND ASK HER IF SHE LOVES ME 483849598292949039588209348829294859204959588582716738273895 TIMES#ITS THUNDERING AND LIGHTNING A LOT OUTSIDE RN.................REMINDS ME OF HER<3#GOD.I LOVE HER TOO MUCH FOR MY OWN GOOD IM GONNA EXPLODE WITH LOVE#IMSO MENTALLY NORMAL I PROMISE I PROMISE I PROMISE I DONT GET SO OVERWHELMINGLY EMOTIONAL WHEN I THINK ABT HER THAT IT MAKES ME VIOLENT#IM GONNA THROW UP /POSITIVE#I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I NEED HER TO LOVE ME JUST AS MUCH FOREVER OR I WILL DIE I WILL DIE WITHOUT HER#SHE IS ONLY MINE AND I AM ONLY HERS AND ANYONE WHO GETS IN BETWEEN US WILL DIE AND HER AND I WILL KISS THEIR BLOOD OFF EACH OTHERS FACES#IM SONNORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!IM SO NORMALI LOVE HER SO NORMALLY I LOVE HER IM NORMAL.OK<3
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thatdeadaquarius · 8 months
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I have a random idea for some sagau crack loosely based on my dynamic with my friend so Im giving it to you because I have been enjoying your sagau language stuff :D
Imagine there are two readers that are two different people. Like, not as in clones they are just two separate people that are rlly good friends on earth. They both really like genshin and play the game, and they both have self aware teyvat citizens. Reader 1 is a whale. They invest a l o t of money on the game, have all the characters, and all the characters have five star weapons. They are like the usual sagau reader you see. They have used up so much money on getting all of the characters, and I mean A L L of them, best weapons, constellations and put a lot of care into it. The place where they really get to show off is their knowledge and love for the lore, and are really invested into it and read all of the artifact descriptions and books. They know about primordial one, the four shining shades, random useless facts about items and often rant to reader 2 about their theories. Their quest bar is always empty because they did them to check out the lore of the game, and are always searching for more lore. They basically play everyday and are always reacting and talking to the characters out loud, unaware that they can hear them.
Meanwhile, Reader 2 is a f2p who is only interested in the archon quest lore and the lore of their fav characters. Because they are f2p, their options are limited so there is some blatant favoritism. They choose their fav character to save up for, and then pull for them. After they get the character they want, they will no longer pull and save up from there. Because of this, they only have like 5 five stars and only have zero five star weapon. Their favourite character is their main(*cough* wanderer *cough*), and unlike reader 1 who uses all of their characters regularly, reader 2 sticks to this character for most of their gameplay unless they need to use someone else. However, reader 2 takes almost an entire month to finish building a character, because they go overboard with the artifact stats. You would expect to normally have a 50 180 crit ratio, but reader 2’s dps characters always, and I mean ALWAYS have 50 200 crit ratio or more. Like, their main (it doesnt have to be wanderer but Im putting him here anyways) has 70 and 200 crit ratio, is crowned, full 4 pc best in slot, and is even crowned and faruzan only needs like 200 er but reader 2 gave them 300. (Im totally not putting this here because this is what I did/j) Reader 2 is also the type to never speak while gaming, so the first time they spoke everyone turned it into a national holiday to be celebrated. They also play a lot less than player 1. Player 1 plays everyday while player 2 plays for a month straight and then takes a long break to wait for the content to pile up.
So these two gremlin besties are always speaking with each other, and are always on coop. Whenever player 1 needs help making team comps or building characters, they just ask player 2 for help. And whenever player 2 needs help understanding the lore of the game, they ask player 1. But all I can think abt is the first time they cooped. Imagine player 1 was using childe and then when the coop starts, both childe and wanderer are very confused as to wtf is going on. Like, childe is confused because he sensed a strange aura coming form them like whenever someone gets controlled by reader 1, and wanderer is confused because reader 2 seemed so excited that they were talking, but its just childe? Reader 2 always skips childe’s banners.
Thats it lol, hope this wasnt too long.
Not long at all! Or more like, I like long asks so feel free to share! :D
IM SO SORRY ITS LIKE MONTHS LATER TO GET TO YOU I PROMISE I LOVE UR STUFF AND AM SUPER EXCITED TO SEE IT,
IM JUST SLOW AND GOOFY 😭😭
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Said friends in genshin like: ^^^
this kinda inspires me/reminds me of @mists-reading-nook soldier/poet/king post, you should check xe stuff!! Gave me brainrot to this day tbh, like im imaging how that “3rd King style of worship” would look like even now lmao ive been down bad 😭
Sun: 2 Readers! (as desc. above), (you/they/them)
Orbit: Headcanons-ish
Stars: wanderer/childe, mentions of others i forgot to focus on any one character or nation :/
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing language, & Trigger Warnings: none known.
Please comment if I missed any. /gen
dual symbolism everywhere, obv you both thought “for the twins” but it just kept getting out of hand the more the game updated over the months lol
like shrines/temples/churches showing up more often in new countries/areas and always identifying the same 2 gods
obv the for-the-lore player picked up on it first, and by the time the trickle-down effect happened, where characters/NPCs were outright talking about these gods, the 2nd was asking the lore knower to explain lol
the 2 gods kept getting referred to by a few names, like “The Soldier and the Scholar” or “The Sage and the Warrior” or “The Keeper and the Pursuer” etc.
after awhile of comparing both of your games, you realize that some vision users/gods tend to use the soldier/warrior/pursuer titles more often when talking about one of you, and the other gets the sage/scholar/keeper more often
u both get excited, maybe its bc you chose diff travelers or some other reason, but when u try and post abt it or otherwise ask other players u get a lot of negatives/”hasnt happened for me”s??
u both just think the games glitched or some dev is playing a prank on you two maybe,
it gets weirder when u both realize the lore player be over here getting random gifts from all the characters in the mail all the time
and just as grinding players like “ :’( my favs don't like me?? but they have the best artifacts and maxed friendship levels..”
they get flooded with multiple gifts from their main characters, most of which benefit the grind tbh lmao (like a bunch of cheaper materials or crystals to level up artifacts/weapons or to ascend that character = no more slaughtering every samurai on sight for their handguards or collected a fuckton of those blue layered mushrooms for wanderer)
god u were both grateful to this glitch ngl, it saved a lot of dumb misc tasks and was just a nice touch
no but the amount of confusion inside the game from when u first started playing together, like each of ur games began with stuff abt 1 god, then as u co-oped moved onto 2 gods (like said at the beginning)
the lore player is blabbing away like you do, which begins to be heard by the other player’s game world
like it starts as whispers in battle, then all the time, then a quiet convo in the background all the time, until they can just hear u out of earshot esp word for word when they focus!! at first the vision-users/gods got all excited bc their god was speaking!! finally!!! until I'm sure they heard narration that didn't fit/it was there sometimes even when their god’s presence wasn't?/voice sounded “off” to them/didnt fit their god…??
ok ik u were joking abt the national holiday,,, but I’m not. 😈
THE FIRST WORDS 2ND SPOKE BEING IN A PROPHECY, REGARDLESS OF WHAT IT IS THEY SAY.
Player 1, playing as Childe, steals a singular (1) sweet flower from Player 2, who has Wanderer out:
P2: “I seriously hate you. Listen to what I’m saying, I can’t stand you.”
(Wanderer panicking that its abt him- Childe freezing bc he managed to piss off a god that feels as powerful as his own- the PROPHECY LMAO- )
P1: “… you miss me.”
(everyone else: 💥vine boom sound 💥😦😨😰???)
P2: “I hate you.”
P1: “You miss me and you love me, why must we fight??”
(everyone else: 💥vine boom again💥🤨🫠??…)
P2: “I hate you-”
P1: “-we gotta good thing going on, you and I, why must we tussle??”
(everyone else: 💥yet another vine boom💥 💀💀)
(the absolute deep anxiety/pure confusion as the two harbingers heads just ping pong back and forth towards the voices lmao)
u two scare the shit out of any characters u do this with lol
they do get used to it as u talk, and the characters even manage to interact (thru hacking magical shenanigans and discord)
to send thank you gifts to player 1 for getting player 2 to talk more lol
along with sending copies of any lore books that player 2 has gotten that player 1 hasn't!
and it becomes common/tradition to exchange gifts like this to thank or appreciate the other god, like player 1 characters sending thank you gift copies of rare materials or ascension stuff that player 1 had that player 2 didn't (esp making sure to send during resinless hours lmao)
overall, 10/10, whats better than 1 god that plays one way? 2 gods that compensate for each other and now u have 2x the worshippers
(i wonder how meeting alternate versions of themselves would go, bc id like to headcanon that each of ur behavior towards them/ur unique influence has changed them a bit comparing, like they arent carbon copies anymore, not like they used to be…)
hey sorry for slowing down guys!!
i just feel bad its taken me forever to get to these asks, so i wanted to take what time i could lately and charge thru them so i could spam post lol
I've also been working on fics! so that's delayed things by a lot, bc fics take longer to “respond to” than short asks or replies
my poor bsd fic
Anyway thank you so much for sending this in!!! I'm so sorry i took forever to get to it, and i hope u enjoyed response/my brain shitting this out lol
have a good weekend!! :D
Safe Travels Anon!!
💀♒
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If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"
(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")
♡the beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit
@kiyomi-uchiha777
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heartsoji · 2 years
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falling in love with your roommate, suna rintaro
roommates to lovers
a/n: i haven't read the manga so i don't rly know anything abt rin's fam situation - sorry if any info is incorrect loll also this is more of like a college au?? idk if rin went to college but here it is
a/n pt. 2: i kinda switch between using rin and suna sorry
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"rintaro!"
"what?"
"aren't you tired of living in my home, still? you're 21! i'm sure all of your friends have moved out already, right? most of them probably moved out at 18, but you haven't budged an inch!" mrs. suna scolded.
"yeah, yeah, pipe down, mom. i'll move out soon, i promise."
"no! it was fine that you stayed home for your freshman year of college, and i thought that you'd start being independent for your sophomore year, but you're still completely dependent on us! you don't cook, buy groceries, clean, or do any work around here! what are you going to do when you've graduated and you don't know how to run a washing machine?"
"yes, yes, i'm sorry."
"and i was very understanding of the fact that you didn't want to move into a dorm, but aren't you tired of commuting hours away when you could just get a closer apartment?"
"mhm, mhm."
she sighed. "rintaro, you know im only saying this because i care about you. i want you to be independent and strong, you know?"
"yep. i just booked an apartment tour via online."
"and i- huh?"
yeah.
soon after he decided the apartment was in good enough condition to be living in, he rented it out and moved in.
on his moving day, he met you.
"hi! you're.. suna rintaro, right? sorry i wasn't there on your tour day. i'm your new roommate, l/n! nice to meet you." you said, a friendly smile on your features.
stoically, suna replied, "good to meet you."
at first, you and suna kinda kept to yourselves. you were polite to each other, of course, but there wasn't much talking, only coexisting.
that is, until you discovered his grocery bills.
"$18... you've been surviving on $18?!" you looked at him in shock.
"yeah. is that weird?"
"damn right it is! what are you even buying?"
"well.. i don't know how to cook anything, so i mostly order door dash. my grocery bill is from instant ramen, chuppets, eggs, and milk."
you stare at him blankly.
"you've been eating nothing but door dash, instant ramen, candy, eggs, and milk for the past 2 months?"
"yeah."
this guy.
he just stands there awkwardly at you laugh at him.
from then on, you two become closer.
you taught him basic recipes to make using groceries you taught him to buy, (imagine his shock when his bill came out to be like $60.. and you were like "bro that's normal") you taught him how to use a washing machine, ("oh, so you put the detergent in this compartment..") etc. just basic household chores, but he was so impressed.
eventually, you two stopped being friendly roommates and just became friends.
he was a good listener. you'd rant to him about your problems, no matter how insignificant, and he'd listen to you carefully, and you never felt like your problems were stupid whenever you talked to him.
you two started hanging out a lot. you'd study together at cafes, go to amusement parks on weekends, and just chill at home together.
and as much as you hated to admit it, you had started developing feelings for your roomie.
i mean, how could you not? he was tall, handsome, kind, funny, cheeky, and it certainly helped that you got to see him all tired in the mornings.
you didn't really know if he felt the same way, but if he did, he was a real bitch, because at some point, your relationship became kind of flirty, and he'd give you butterflies on a daily basis.
you two would watch scary movies and he'd let you cling to him, giving your terrified features a teasey smile every now and then.
he'd walk around the apartment with his toned abs out, and his sweats dangerously low on his hips.
when you guys went on walks, he'd give you his hoodie if it got cold.
whenever you'd go on long rants, he'd just stare at your face with love in his eyes. "and then i-what is it, rin?" "nothing, pretty."
like sir you can't just do that. you're too handsome to do that without risk of heart explosion.
then, one day, unexpectedly, he popped the question.
you two were watching a cheesy romcom for the 5th time, sharing a pot of instant ramen, and at the same moment that the male lead said to the female lead, "i like you. a lot. i have for a while now," rin did too.
it wasn't grand.
it wasn't loud.
it wasn't annoying.
you weren't even sure if he meant it.
but when you saw him looking at you, nervous, awaiting a response, you knew he did.
so, at the same time the female lead said, "me too," you did too.
then, with the cheesy romantic music playing in the back, you guys gave each other cheesy smiles, and he planted a cheesy peck on your cheek.
it was subtle.
it was sweet.
it was cheesy.
it was familiar.
it was uncharacteristically romantic and sentimental.
it was just like how your future relationship with your roomie and best friend, suna rintaro, was going to be.
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honeytonedhottie · 2 months
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HONEY HONEY HONEY I MANIFESTED CLEAR SKIN <3
now normally i don't really get breakouts to begin with bc of genetics but i've been rlly stressed these past few months and bc of that i had 3 nasty ass pimples on my face 😭 i absolutely hated them and it seemed like no matter what i did they just didn't go away
but yesterday i said fuck it let's apply the law and just began affirming to myself "my skin is clear, glistening, and glowing". idk how long i did this for but def for at least 30 mins and then i did it again while doing my nighttime skincare routine + visualizing clear skin while i did it
and guess what??? this morning my fine ass woke up with them GONE!!!! i didn't even notice until i looked in the mirror after my shower but i was stunned i wish i recorded my reaction lmaooo
i've known abt the law for almost 2 years now and this is literally my first real (or at least first positive) manifestation and it was literally so easy 💀 JUST PERSIST BITCHES PERSIST I PROMISE YOU IT WORKSSSS anyways i can't wait to see what else i'm gonna manifest hehe
OMG ANONIE CONGRATULATIONS 🫶🏽💗⭐️ IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU AND IM SO PROUD. UR LITERALLY A MASTER MANIFESTOR. it is really that simple, all u have to do is affirm and persist and thats it. GOOD JOB AND THANK YOU FOR SHARING 👏🏽
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minustwofingers · 2 years
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exoplanet p.1
masterlist
ellie williams x fem! reader (ur kind of a girly girl in this one sorry)
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summary: you’re one of the luckiest people in the world as one of the few families that managed to gain entrance to the most exclusive safezone on earth. after living 19 years of your life in a soft and forgiving world, a lab accident sends you across the country to jackson, wyoming, entirely unprepared and unaware of what awaits you in the real world. its a good thing u run into a hot lesbian wink wink nudge nudge
a/n: now listen now hear me out i know this plot sounds kooky asf and im sorry i literally thought this shit up in a covid fever dream. but anyway i basically blacked out at the keyboard and have about 6k words to show for this weekend and no completed hw. i can’t believe im writing. this im so sorry
warnings: ellie is mean asf at first, reader is clueless and cannot do a pushup, you’re also a little bit of a snob and have a fixation on etiquette.  i promise it gets better just bear w me lMAO. she/her pronouns for the reader, v vanilla violence and explicit language. kinda enemies to lovers vibe
im so sorry u guys idk what got into me this is the goofiest au i’ve ever written ok but i just want ellie to get to learn abt the stars and shit after all she’s been thru she deserves it ok enjoy part 2 coming whenever i finish it.
wc: 6k
It wasn’t that you didn’t know that something bad had happened to the rest of the world. You did. Of course you did. You’d have to be a special kind of stupid to not realize that there was maybe something else going on when no one was allowed outside of the walls and anyone who returned told hushed stories of decimated buildings and piles of corpses.
It was just difficult to grasp the idea of the world you knew no longer existing outside the bounds of the city. To anyone before the pandemic, you’re sure that you lead what seemed like a normal life for any privileged kid.
You had two parents, both of whom loved you very much. You went to an elementary school, then a middle school, and then eventually high school and university. You went shopping with your friends. You watched movies and ate shitty junk food and had first kisses and went on ice cream dates. You studied what captivated your interest the most—space—and threw your soul into learning about the physics of the universe.
You laid on your dorm bed, playing with the edges of your pink comforter as you gossiped with your roommate, Irena, about the professor that she thought was hot and the boy who tried to harass you for your number after you’d finished up getting lunch.
You lived a normal life, which is pretty ironic, because the only reason you got to say that was because you were born to not-normal people who had been at the right place at the right time when the world fell apart.
You see, when everyone got sick, some areas got hit harder than others. And your parents, who were vacationing in some swanky exclusive Canadian resort that only the elite knew about, happened to hit the jackpot.
Not only was their vacation spot the one area in North America with a significant metropolitan population that managed to get enough time to adequately prepare, they happened to be traveling with some big-wig execs that knew a guy who knew a guy who was in the process of evacuating and putting the final touches on a safe zone, Terranova, intended for only the highest rungs of North American society.
So, there you were. Some 25 years or so after the world as your ancestors knew it fell to shit—and you were sipping cappuccinos and getting facials without a care in the world. All because of a lucky vacation.
And, for the record, it’s not that you were ungrateful. You knew that you were lucky to be living in the last place on earth with a semblance of normalcy. What you didn’t know, however, was just how lucky you were, and you didn’t find this out until you made that one stupid mistake in Gunther’s lab.
~
“Morning, Y/N!” called out Professor Gunther, a short, squatty man with a receding hairline so impressive that his forehead now ended halfway up his scalp.
“Morning, Professor,” you said, setting your bag down on the desk, winding your long scarf from around your neck and running a hand through your hair to get the tangles out. The wind outside had been especially fierce for February, which was not ideal given that you'd forgotten your hat at home.
“Guess what I’ve got?” Gunther was smiling, his teeth perfect white squares.
You gasped. “No. It’s already here?”
He said nothing; instead, he pushed forward a slightly battered box with dents and various smudges and marks that were telltale indicators for outside shipments.
“No way,” you said, pulling it into your hands. For a moment you debated using your nails to open the seam, but you’d just gotten them done, so you reached for a pair of scissors on the table.
“This is even more than we need,” you told Gunther, reaching in to pull out a spool of wire that shimmered under the lab lights. “Can I just hook it up now? Or is there something else I should do?”
There was, in fact, something that you should’ve done before going with your pliers and wire. Something about your model wasn’t quite right, but you’d figure that out a little too late.
You see, you and old Professor Gunther were attempting to build a prototype that would enable travel at the speed of light. It did sound insane—and you should’ve known that it was a pipe dream—but you were a space nerd with nearly limitless funding and support from one of the most famous surviving professors in the world. It had been Gunther’s pet project, one that you joined as a research assistant in your first year at the university. Once you’d caught wind of it, you couldn’t stay away, and you two quickly began to form a connection only understood by lonely and isolated academics.
“Go for it,” said Gunther, waving his hand dismissively.
Excitedly, you approached the table, your hands almost shaking as you held the wire. It was a fairly new invention, first used in the creation of Terranova and its walls to effectively make it invisible to the outside world. It boasted a variety of properties that made it academically fascinating and functionally useful. Gunther had had a suspicion that it would be useful in stabilizing the process of disseminating atoms to make light speed travel possible, so you’d placed the order for a couple of spools.
“And I think that’s it,” you said, using your pliers to shape the blunt edge that you had just clipped and plugging it into the circuit board. A purple sheen seemed to vibrate around the bundle of wires and boxes.
Gunther leaned over your shoulder, peering at everything through the spectacles perched on his pudgy nose. “Well done, dear. Say, before we turn this thing on and start running some preliminary tests, would you mind grabbing us some tea from the caf? My treat.”
“Of course,” you said, standing up and brushing your hands off. “Lapsang?”
He nodded. “And anything you’d like.”
You pulled my scarf back on, pulling it snugly around your neck and snatching your bag from the table. The walk to the cafeteria was short, but it was cold enough to require suiting up again. You ordered, paid with Gunther’s card, and sat quietly as you watched the snow fall outside.
It was a beautiful morning. The wind had died down, leaving the snow to fall from the gray skies in fat, puffy flakes. The city outside was quiet, with only the gentle hum of the occasional car to break the silence.
“Y/N! A Lapsang Souchong and a Jasmine Green?”
You leapt up and grabbed the two disposable cups, smiling widely at the barista. “Hey, would you mind throwing a bag of coffee in too?”
“Anything specific?” he asked.
“I don’t know anything about coffee,” you admitted. “Anything that isn’t decaf. It’s for my roommate.”
He nodded and rang you up for the coffee, and you were back on your way.
“My dear!” boomed Gunther when you came back, throwing the lab door open and nearly floating off the ground in excitement.
“Lapsang with a spot of honey, as always,” you said, passing the cup into his hands. The bite from the heat slowly faded from your palm—the barista had forgotten to put a sleeve on his cup.
“Lovely,” he said, setting it down next to you. “I’m just going to go ahead and flip the switch…keep your wits about you! Haha.”
“Ha,” you said, though suddenly you were getting more nervous. The longer you looked at the wires, the less sense they made. And was that two uncovered wires touching? ”Hey, wait, actually—”
Click.
A hum filled the room as the power flicked on. The bright white overhead lights flickered once, twice, and then went out. Something that smelled suspiciously like smoke filled the room.
“Fuck!” Gunther fumbled for the switch. You, similarly, lunged forward to see if you could manually disconnect the wires from the input. “It’s short circ—”
As soon as you made contact with the input wire, you heard the sound of a cup tipping over seconds before the splashing of hot tea.
Then everything went black.
~
When you awoke, it was because you were shaking so hard that your teeth were clicking painfully together.
Slowly, you pulled open my eyelids to see a brilliantly blue sky without a cloud in sight, wide and unimpeded by any skyscrapers. This was definitely not Gunther’s lab.
You groaned as feeling began to return to your body, along with a thudding headache and soreness in every joint. Gently, you pressed your weight into your fingers and slowly sat yourself up, making observations as you went.
You were not dead. Your heart was still beating and your nerves still functioned as usual. You had no idea how long you'd been lying on the ground, but it had to have been at least an hour given that the sun was almost in the middle of the sky.
Another observation: you were nowhere near Terranova.
Instead, you were in the clearing of a forest, surrounded by trees with unfamiliar trunk patterns and leaves. A thick bed of white snow coated everything in sight except for you.
You were well and truly fucked. There was nowhere even remotely nearby the city that you knew was in a fully forested area.
Though at least now you held the title of the first person alive to travel at light speed. It was a small comfort, but it was something to cling to.
A shriek sounded behind you, and you spun around, still seated on the ground. The forest line was clear, but you could hear rustling. For a moment you considered that it could be an animal, but it didn’t sound like any woodland creature. It sounded unmistakably human.
“Hello?” you called out.
The shriek came again, accompanied by more crunching—both much closer this time.
“Are you alright?” you asked, hoping your voice would carry to whoever it was. “Are you hurt?”
A mangled man suddenly came into sight as he fell into the clearing from a lopsided sprint, barreling right towards you. One of his knees was bent outwards as he went, so badly it looked broken, but it wasn’t enough to slow him down as he ran towards you.
You screamed, a real and proper one that pierced the frigid air. There was no time for to run as the man closed the gap and rammed into you, his filthy hands gripping your arms through your heavy jacket as his snapping teeth and rancid breath lunged for your neck.
Bang!
A single shot rang out. The man fell limp, slumping on top of you as you frantically snapped into motion and scrambled out from under him.
“Who the fuck are you?”
You whipped back around to see a girl standing at the other side of the clearing, a revolver in her hand and an incredibly cross expression etched into her features. She must’ve been around your age, and she had short auburn hair that barely brushed her shoulders and was being tossed about by the wind. There was a spattering of freckles across her face, muted against the backdrop of her cheeks reddened from exertion.
“Hi,” you said, your voice small and pathetic. You couldn’t stop shaking. “I’m Y/N.”
The girl just stared at you for a few more beats before turning back. “Jesse! Dina! Some help?”
You pulled your knees into your chest as you waited for whatever was to come. Now that the man was off of you, you could see that there was blood trickling from his gaping maw. Something that looked almost like shards had sprouted, like little spring buds, in little areas around his face. Even his normal, unshard-ed skin was a pallor that looked like death. Something wasn’t right here.
“Okay,” said the girl, gruffer this time. “Listen, I don’t know who the fuck you think you are just waltzing in like this, but this isn’t open to the public, alright? You’re trespassing.”
“Sorry,” you said, shrinking further into yourself as you thumbed the edges of your scarf. “I didn’t know.”
“Get the hell out of here,” she said, grabbing your backpack from the ground near her feet and throwing it at you.
Two other people emerged from the trees, another girl and one guy. They all seemed roughly the same age—early 20s, maybe—and were all carrying various weapons ranging from guns to knives.
To say you were on edge would be the understatement of the century.
They spoke in hushed tones as they approached the first girl.
“I don’t understand,” the other girl said, long black locks escaping from her ponytail. “We literally just patrolled this area. There’s no way to get here without either going through the town or going over the pass, and no one’s done that.”
“And you’re sure you didn’t see her then?” The boy looked curiously at you.
“Fucking obviously,” snapped the first girl. “I think we would’ve noticed.” Then, directed at you: “Hey. How’d you even wind up here?”
“Uh….” Your mouth became dry. “Where am I again?”
The girl rolled her eyes. “You’re telling me you don’t even know?”
“Ellie,” warned the other girl. “Maybe she’s been out here for a while. Hypothermia can make you think crazy things.”
“She doesn’t look like she’s been out here for long,” pointed out the first girl, presumably Ellie.
“You’re right outside Jackson,” said the other girl helpfully.
“How close am I to Terranova?”
“The fuck is Terra-whatta?” Ellie frowned at you.
“Where I live,” you said. “I—I’m a student there. I was working on a project and something went wrong and then all of a sudden I woke up here and—what is that thing?” You gestured frantically at the limp body of the man beside you, the shock slowly subsiding as reality set in. “He almost killed me!”
Ellie gaped at you along with her two friends. “What do you mean, what is that thing? Have you never seen a runner before?”
“A runner?” You stared back. “These things are normal enough for you to have a name for them?”
“Oh my god,” said Ellie, pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers. “Have you, like, never been outside before?”
“No,” you said, honestly. “I’ve never left the city walls.”
“We have got to take her back with us,” said the other girl.
“Dina.” Ellie scowled. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Dina’s right,” said the guy, finally chiming in. “We can’t just leave her out here. She doesn’t even know what a runner is. She’s gonna be killed like that.”
Ellie considered, gnawing her lip. “Fine. Consider this your lucky day, Y/N. Get up.”
The first thing you did upon reaching your feet was faint once again.
~
“I told you, Joel, we just found her like this! Lying on the ground, with nothing but her bag.”
A man said something that you couldn’t quite catch.
“Yes. I went through it. No weapons, just…weird things. Like this.”
Your eyes snapped open to see Dina rooting around in your backpack, pulling out your laptop. You were laid horizontally on a table in some warmly lit home.
“Hey!” you said. She turned around, along with a tall, buff man at her side. “Be careful with that. That has all my homework on it.”
“See?” Dina whispered. “Do you think she hit her head or something, Joel?”
Joel frowned, picking up your laptop despite your protests. “I haven’t seen one of these in…I can’t even remember how long. And I’ve never seen one this slim before. Where’d you say you got this, er…”
“Y/N,” Dina supplied.
“From my university,” you said. There was a fire that crackled somewhere behind you, and it sounded comforting. “They provide all students with laptops. That’s how we do most of our schoolwork.”
“Let me guess,” said Joel. “You from the North? A place called Terra Something?”
“That’s a real thing?” Ellie came from around the corner, standing with her arms crossed. She’d changed out of her heavy winter coat and was instead wearing a dark gray hoodie with the strings tied into a bow.
“Never been there myself,” he said. “But when I was doing supply runs back in Boston we always heard whispers of a safezone in Canada. For rich assholes who had some even richer survivalist friends. The Fireflies attempted to break in for years, but they could never find it.”
“So, like a QZ?” asked Ellie, looking genuinely curious.
“What’s a QZ?” you asked. No one acknowledged it.
“Not quite,” said Joel. “No FEDRA. With no military presence, I’m sure it was a hell of a lot cushier living there. Wasn’t it, Y/N?”
“I don’t have anything to compare it to,” you said. “But, yeah. I guess it was nice. It was just normal, I guess. Nothing extraordinary.”
“You’re wearing a cashmere scarf,” Joel pointed out. “That’s not what I’d call normal in the apocalypse.”
You blushed, pulling at the fringes of said black scarf. The fabric was thin and soft, impossibly warm against your bare neck. “It didn’t—it doesn’t feel like the apocalypse in Terranova.”
“And how’d you make it all the way out here?”
“I’m a research assistant for a professor attempting to invent travel at the speed of light,” you said. “We just hooked it up to a different wire today. It short-circuited and when my professor and I rushed to shut it off, he spilled his tea on me and the prototype. Next thing I knew, I woke up here.”
Joel blinked. “What now?”
“I know it sounds crazy,” you said, defensively pulling your knees to your chest. “But I’m telling the truth, honestly. Plus, look at me.” You let go of your scarf and held out your hands, letting the glow of the fire catch the immaculate pearl polish on your fingers. “Do I look like someone who’s traveled from Canada to wherever I am now?”
“She’s got a point,” said Dina, nodding thoughtfully. “It really must be nice where you come from to have hands like that. It doesn’t look like you’ve done a day of work in your life. Reckon you could take us back with you?”
Joel sent her a stern look. “What did you parents do to gain access to a place like that? You the daughter of the president or something?”
“No. They just got lucky,” you explained. “They were summering in Canada and happened to befriend the founders of Terranova right before outbreak day.”
“‘Summering’,” repeated Joel. “It’s been a while since I heard someone use a season as a verb. Somehow it’s not been long enough.”
You cringed.
“I’m not gonna lie, it’s a little disappointing to hear that folks like your parents are still living in the lap of luxury, even after the world ended,” said Joel. “A part of me hoped that karma would get ‘em.”
“I didn’t realize how bad it was out here,” you said defensively. “They didn’t even tell me about…what was that that tried to kill me out there? Walkers?”
“Runners,” Ellie supplied. She watched you quietly from her position leaning up against the couch.
“You ran into one?” asked Joel, another wrinkle appearing in his forehead. “Ellie, have you checked her for bites?”
Ellie’s freckled face paled as she swore. “Fuck. No, I forgot. I should’ve done it in the clearing.”
“Well, better now than never. Listen, I gotta meet up with Tommy. You check ‘er. You got a gun ready, just in case?”
“Excuse me?” you scoffed, looking thoroughly scandalized. “What do you mean, just in case?”
“I’ll be outside,” said Dina, following Joel as he left the door.
“How come it’s my job?” Ellie called after them. “No one asked me how I felt about this!”
The door banged shut in reply. She turned back to face you, her lips set into a firm line. “Fine. Take your coat off. Let’s make this quick.”
“I didn’t feel anything bite me,” you said, grabbing your knees tighter to your chest. Ellie was intimidating and scary, and you rather liked how you currently wore an extra layer of protection.
“Yeah, yeah, that’s what they all say.” She walked over to you, grabbing your scarf and unwinding it from your neck. “Shit. Is this what Joel called cashmere?”
“Yeah,” you said, watching as she stared at the fabric pooled in her hands. “It’s nothing special, really. Everyone wears them in Terranova.”
Ellie stared at you. “Can you stop saying Terranova? I swear it’s every third word that comes out of your mouth. I honestly couldn’t give a shit about whatever fantasyland you grew up in while the rest of us dealt with the real world.”
You opened your mouth, then thought better of it and closed it. It was discombobulating to hear a stranger swear so often at you.
Ellie knocked your hands from your knees and stared down at you. “Are you actually gonna make me take off everything myself? Do they have hired help to unzip your coats in Terra Novella?”
“Terranova.”
Ellie let out a sharp sigh, then lunged for the zipper near your throat.
“Okay, okay, fine,” you said, yanking yourself away and pulling your zipper down to reveal your standard lab outfit—a satiny button up shirt tucked into slacks. You pulled the rest of your puffer off, letting it drop in a pile next to you.
“So,” you said as Ellie grabbed your arm, gently rolling up the fabric of your blouse and turning your forearm back and forth, “Is this, like, a normal thing? To have deranged people in the woods attack you like that?”
“They’re not people,” she said quietly. Satisfied with your left arm, she moved to the next and let your unbuttoned sleeve fall. “Not anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
Ellie’s fingers encircled your right wrist as she fiddled with your sleeve. They were warm as they brushed across your skin, just barely touching you. “You really don’t know? I thought you at least knew about outbreak day.”
“Of course I know about outbreak day,” you said defensively. “I’m not stupid.”
Ellie arched a brow.
“They told us that it was a virus,” you added. “That it was lethal and incredibly infectious. Is that not what happened?”
“It’s not a virus, it’s a fungus,” corrected Ellie, letting go of your sleeve and stepping back as you redid the buttons at your wrist. “And it doesn’t just kill. It turns you into—into something like what you saw today. You lose your mind. The only thing that matters to you is biting everyone and spreading the infection.”
“Oh.”
“I saw you get tackled. Did your legs get scratched up at all?”
“No,” you responded, feeling thankful that you wouldn’t need to take your pants off. In that moment, literally nothing seemed more embarrassing. Your hands had begun to shake again.
“Didn’t think so.”
“If it had bitten me, would that mean that I…I would get sick too?”
“Nice going, Sherlock,” said Ellie, returning to her spot against the couch. “Really stellar reasoning skills there.”
You pulled your knees back into your chest, the gravity of the situation sinking in. All this time you’d thought it was just a virus—a measly virus that killed. That it could be anything else had never occurred to you.
“Keep shaking and I’m going to start to think that you were bitten.” She smiled thinly at you from across the room.
“I’m sorry,” you said, your teeth bouncing against each other once before you clenched your jaw. “Please cut me some slack. This is just a lot to take in. If you’ll recall, I’ve just been the first person in history to undergo atomic dissolution and reassembly. It’s a wonder I’m still alive.”
“Welcome to the club,” said Ellie, her eyes narrowed. “It’s a wonder any of us are alive.”
Your lips pressed tightly together as you sat, trying your best not to lose it at her. You’d always been brought up to be kind, to be forgiving and sweet and polite. After all, there was never any reason not to be. Terranova’s culture put a heavy emphasis on keeping the peace no matter what. Your parents rarely ever raised their voices. Your professors kindly and respectfully asked their pupils to settle down if they were too noisy, but since you were all brought up with impeccable manners, such instances were few and far between. It just wasn’t a thing to chew strangers out. Such behavior was only reserved for extraordinary situations of the like you’d never experienced. Speaking of manners…
“Thank you,” you said, finally. Yeah, you could be the bigger person.
Ellie’s gaze snapped up to you, her brow furrowed. “Huh?”
“For saving me,” you clarified, avoiding her eyes. They were uncomfortably piercing. “Sorry. I should’ve thanked you earlier. That was rude of me. And I’m also sorry for just barging in here. I promise it wasn’t on purpose. Trust me, I would do anything to be back home right now.”
“I bet you would.” Her eyes dropped briefly to your hands, unblemished and smooth as they clutched your knees. Not even a cuticle was out of place, a result of your weekly manicures and daily lotion habit.
“Sorry,” you said again, feeling heat rise in your cheeks once again. “I probably sound so insufferable and spoiled to you.”  
“Just—” She paused, frowning. “Just stop apologizing. It’s fine. It’s not your fault, or whatever.” The words seemed to pain her.
“What’s a QZ?” you asked. Now that you’d had a moment to draw in a few deep breaths, your hands were steady once again.
“Quarantine Zone,” said Ellie. “Established by what was left of the government for those of us normal people. There are a couple scattered around the country in the big cities.”
“Did you live in one? What’re they like?”
She was about to answer when the door banged open.
“Ellie!” Dina’s voice was breathless. “Joel wants me and you to go out and finish the patrol route together. She alright?”
“I’m fine,” you said quickly, hanging your legs off the table and reaching for your puffer.
“God, I fucking love that shirt,” said Dina. “Can I touch it? It looks so soft.”
You had a feeling that you would get on well with her. “Sure.”
“It’s not that soft,” said Ellie from the couch.
“Shut up, Ellie!” Dina walked over to you, grabbing the dangling fabric from your loose sleeves and letting it thread through her fingers. “Sorry about her, Y/N. She’s just like that sometimes.”
“Dina!”
Dina ignored Ellie’s protests, giving you a look full of mirth as she stepped back. “For the record, it was that soft.”
“You couldn’t wear it anywhere,” argued Ellie. “It looks ridiculous. Infected would just snag right onto the sleeves. That’s only if you didn’t get tangled up in a tree from all that loose fabric first.”
“There’s not an abundance of trees or sick fungus people in my research lab,” you said awkwardly. “So that’s not really something that crossed my mind when I got ready this morning.”
“Ha!” Dina’s eyes scrunched. “Ellie, be nice. Maybe she’ll claim us both as her long-lost sisters and get us into wherever she came from, but she’s not gonna if you keep acting like this.”
“It’s okay,” you said, shrugging. “I get it. I can’t even begin to imagine how much different your lives are out here. And, I mean, I probably could if you wanted. I’m pretty sure that all you need is a connection and a negative test for whatever the fungus is called.”
“See?” Dina gestured towards you. “Listen to her. She’s so wholesome.”
“I’d be wholesome too if I led the kind of life where I didn’t know about the infected and got to wear dumb shirts like that all day.”
Dina huffed. “Listen, Y/N, Ellie and I are gonna finish up with patrolling. I’m assuming you want to stay in Jackson until you figure everything out?”
You nodded. “If that’s alright. I don’t mean to impose.”
“We’ll talk to Maria and Tommy once we get back and see about getting you set up somewhere temporarily,” said Dina. “For now, you can just stay at Ellie’s until we finish up. Sound good?”
“Dina!” protested Ellie. “You’re just gonna leave her here unattended without even asking me?”
“What’s she gonna do? Ransack the town? With what weapon, Ellie? Her bare hands? She looks like she’d be blown over if I breathed too hard in her direction.”
You flushed. Sure, you’d never really seen much of a point of bulking up and working out when you were nothing but a student who spent all of her time goofing off with wires and telescopes, but it was humbling to have it pointed out so blatantly.
“She wouldn’t make it a day outside,” continued Dina. “I don’t think she’s stupid enough to try anything. Isn’t that right, Y/N?”
You blinked. “I mean, yeah. I’ve never spent a day without electricity and hot running water, so I’m not really clambering to leave and live in the woods.”
Ellie sighed sharply. “Fine. Cool. Whatever. Just stay where you are, okay? And don’t even think about touching anything.”
~
By the time that she returned with Joel, you were sitting at the table, 2 chapters deep into the one textbook you’d brought along with you for one of your courses.
“Glad to see the house still standing,” Joel quipped as he worked his heavy coat off his shoulders and pulled his boots off. Ellie trailed behind him, hanging up her coat and pulling off a pair of black gloves. “Ellie was concerned you’d raze the whole town.”
“I’m honored that she thinks me so capable,” you said in response, wincing as you had to dogear your textbook, your bookmarks and sticky notes tucked safely in your dorm desk far away.
Ellie sent you an irritated look before her gaze dropped to the textbook in your lap. It lingered for a moment, just long enough for you to know that she was reading the title Exoplanetary Systems.
“Tommy and Maria have decided to let you stay until you get back on your feet,” said Joel, oblivious to the hostility coming from Ellie. “There’s a cottage down the street that’ll be ready for you to move into soon. For now, you can stay with us. There’s an extra room across the hall from Ellie’s.”
“That’s too kind of you,” you said, your voice smooth and gracious after years of having your manners picked apart by your parents.  
Joel looked mildly uncomfortable. “Uh, yeah. Don’t mention it. You know how to ride a horse?”
“Yeah, a little.”
“Good,” said Joel. “Can you shoot, too?”
You stared. “Uh, shoot what?”
“A gun,” said Ellie slowly. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest, her mouth contorted into a scowl. She did not seem overjoyed at the prospect of a new housemate.
“No,” you said. Your ears felt like they were on fire. “There’s, uh, a strict ban on guns in Terr–where I grew up. There was no reason to shoot anything.”
Joel whistled. “Well, imagine that. So maybe we won’t put you on patrol just yet. We’ll find something else for you to do. Got any other skills?”
Before you answered, Joel picked up your bag and peered inside of it. “Say, is this a bag of coffee?”
He pulled out the bag of coffee grinds that you’d picked up at the cafe.
“Yeah!” you said. “Before the, uh, accident, my professor sent me to get him tea from the cafeteria. I ended up picking those up since my roommate and I were out. You drink coffee?”
“Not much anymore,” said Joel, picking up the bag and weighing it back and forth. “It’s hard to come by out here. You have to pay an arm and a leg to get just a bit. I haven’t seen a bag like this since before the outbreak.”
“It’s yours,” you said quickly. “I don’t even really like coffee. I just drank it because my roommate would make me a cup.”
Joel shook his head and placed it back in your bag. “No, I couldn’t do that. I’d probably have to trade my whole arsenal plus a horse to get something this big.”
“Please, I insist,” you said. “It’s the least I can do. It’s just going to sit in my bag anyway. You’d appreciate it more.”
“Well…” Joel gave you a considering look. “I s’pose this could cover your work for a few weeks until either we find another job for you or Ellie teaches you to shoot.”
“Joel!” Ellie interjected. “I have my own shit to do.”
“That’s really generous of you,” you said, smiling at Joel. “But you could honestly just take the bag—no need to offer any reimbursement.”
Joel grunted and picked the bag up again, slinging it onto the counter behind him. “Maria’s never gonna believe me until she sees this. Full bag of monsoon malabar…didn’t even think they had that shit anymore…” He continued to mumble to himself as he shuffled around, opening and closing cabinets behind you.
When you looked back up, Ellie was staring again at your book, a line in her brow.
“You can borrow it, if you’d like.” You pushed the book towards her as a poor attempt to call a truce between you two. “It’s not like I actually need to do the reading anymore. I’m already missing lecture.”
You winced at the thought of getting behind in your classes. In the very likely case you weren’t getting back in the next few days, you’d probably need to take a gap semester and return in the fall, delaying your graduation date another 4 months. Your parents were going to kill you. This was going to create an unfillable hole in your resume. “Shooting a gun” and “riding horses” were not acceptable activities to explain away why you took a whole season off.
“No thanks,” said Ellie, pushing it back to you. “Keep it. I don’t want it.”
“It’s about solar systems outside of our locale,” you continued. “There’s a bunch of them. It’s actually really interesting.”
“It doesn’t really sound like it,” she said, but there was no venom behind her voice—just something that sounded like exhaustion.  
“Maybe not.” You sighed, deflated. So much for a white flag. “I guess it must seem pretty ridiculous to you.”
Ellie stood there, her arms still crossed and her frown deep. “Joel,” she said, speaking over your shoulder, “I’m going out. I’ll see you later.”
“Don’t do anything stupid,” said Joel. You could hear him bustling around in what you assumed was a kitchen, filling a kettle with water and lighting the gas top stove.
When you turned back around, Ellie was already out the door, coat slung over her arm as she shut it.
Before the door closed entirely, her eyes snapped up to meet yours like she knew you’d been watching her.
She was gone before you had the chance to lift your hand to wave goodbye.
again apologies for this if you’ve made it this far. please confiscate my laptop. part 2 coming soon (?) if u want also im not an astrophysics student im a thickheaded cs student who barely survived ap physics so im sorry if i’m doing a disservice to the academic field of astronomy idk shit about it 
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ashascoven · 4 months
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❃☆ showering w/ the pyromaniac rat man ☆❃ pt. 1
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☆ so hi!! um!! welcome to my first fanfic lolz (im nervous about posting this can you tell ?!?! o(*°▽°*)o)
☆ im rlly new to posting on tumblr, but ive been reading fanfics on here for a WHILE!! it's inspired me to write a silly one about my favorite lanky robber <3 if theres any mistakes, PLEASE hit my line abt it (i beg)
☆ here is part 2, which is smut/nsfw, also on my profile!
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☆ FANFIC DEETS! junkratxreader ☆
reader is a female who's known for working with plants
VERY lengthy build-up fanfic (LOTS of reading, buckle up yall)
fluff??
emotional stuff, but nothing intense (??)
first time writing an australian accent, pls lmk if anythings weird!!
hope u enjoy :,D
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“Hggshmmshh.. peeaachh c-c.. cobbler.. mmh.. eeheeheeheh!! Piee..”
“Dammit! Move over, rat-ass!” 
You felt as if you had finally managed to doze off only a couple minutes ago. 
One second you're about to drift away into a somewhat decent sleep, counting flying sheep and letting your drool start to fall.
The next, you're getting whacked in the head with a metallic hand or shoved by a wooden peg in one of your sides.
Having to share a bed with a loudly snoring pyro-freak who reeked of gunpowder and body odor was not a promising night of rest, especially in a room of pure humidity and sweat. 
The mattress beneath you two was unbalanced and squeaky, the walls surrounding it adorning overgrowing vines and tears in its paper.
His twisting, turning, n’ noises didn't make it any better, but it was kind of reassuring in the sense that you weren't sleeping alone.
When was the last time he even showered anyway? 
Does this man know how to?
How does he sleep like this?
The more you questioned the Australian in your head, the more his body managed to keep sprawling across the queen sized mattress you two shared. 
Both his normal and prosthetic limbs jabbed at your back, his armed belt straps and gauntlets not contributing to your comfort whatsoever. 
“Fucking- MOVE!”
You gripped at the bed and gave him one kick in the ass with your bare foot. 
The maniac yelped himself into a giggling fit, somehow still remaining asleep. 
God, what's his secret to being such a happy sleeper?
With one last scoff, you nearly pushed him off of the bed, but you didn't think twice about it.
Rolling your eyes, you returned to your previous position with your back facing him, crossing your arms and trying to let your eyes close again.
You thought about the mission you two were given together, recalling it hundreds of times in your head to hopefully quench at your inability to have a comfortable sleep.
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Back at one of those Overwatch HQ meetings, they discussed wanting to try something new while still maintaining everyone's duties. 
Experimenting with how different heroes and scientists worked one-on-one with one another for “observational purposes,” they said.
Gibberish about increasing the rate of productivity within our cause by cutting down our dispatched team sizes.. 
“More groups of heroes can get sent out on more missions if distributed differently..!”
Blah-blah-blah..
You ignored all of the blabbering at the time, your ears only ever being open for what sounded most important and intriguing.
“It'll be an educational experience for great future references-” 
You reaaaallyy didn't think you'd be in one of the duo dispatches, yet here you were, somehow still in the flesh.
All that was asked of you both was to keep a watch out for anything suspicious at some abandoned town in the middle of who-even-fucking-knows.
Wooden huts n’ houses that were falling apart, yet they somehow still formed and held a small community of humble elders.
Supposedly, this place was a possible target of some well-feared terrorist group, and “Grandpa Jack” wanted you two to scout.
Discussion about exposed plans for making sure as many innocent people as possible experienced war “too” made your blood boil. 
It didn't make sense to you, the whole “no pain, no gain” mindset.
Clearly these people chose to live all the way out here to get AWAY from the danger, why force that on some old people anyway?
With their lack of clean drinking water and functioning power in an empty desert, you were sure they've already seen enough.
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“Haven't we lost thousands of innocent civilians already? Omnic or not, they can't just keep coming up with all of this frivolous shit and throw it at us..!”
You grumbled to yourself outloud, unconsciously turning to face the ultimate rat that was laying behind you.
“Why would they send us here if they KNEW there were people out here who needed help? Wasting precious time by sending two of us out here instead of a whole team is beyond me, honestly! We'll just keep getting killed and..” 
Your eyes ended up catching onto your distorted reflection on the goggles that Jamison wore to bed.
It made you trail off and unball your fists, causing you to think about the old people again.
You thought about how much you were gonna get onto HQ's ass to seek a better home for them all.
They were sweet to you and Jamie, and you were pretty sure he would try to take one or two to keep as parents of his own.
Considering he didn't have any living ones anymore, it would check out.
Your eyes wandered off onto the flickering of the dying light bulb hanging bare off the ceiling.
The bulb hung right behind mister sleeping beauty, holding on by torn wires.
You were surprised your sleeping partner hadn't managed to somehow pull it down in his sleep yet. The thought made you smile for a bit, letting your face rest.
Then, your hand reached up to Jamison's face. 
You didn't think much about it since your mind was more on other things still, but you unconsciously held his cheek.
You watched as he smiled in his sleep, gently putting his own hands on yours and nuzzling into your touch. 
The feeling of his rough palm against your skin along with the metal of his other one sent a chill through your body, but you didn't pull away.
Just looking at him resting like a baby put your mind at ease for a bit.. It helped calm your grumpiness from not being able to sleep these past few nights.
It’s been the longest mission yet, and also the first one that you’ve slept together with a person you were sent with.
You ran your thumb over his lightly chapped bottom lip, your mind finally winding itself down.
You two had somewhat of a record of being assigned missions together, but you were never as close to each other as this. 
Something about the way your silly acquaintance slept carelessly in front of you was strangely inviting.
You swallowed your emotions and repressed your urges to suddenly hug the rat man, drawing your thumb lower to his chin. 
You ran it over his speckled face hair, still letting him hug your arm. 
“Mmmmh.. G-gosh, so.. so waaarmm..! waarmm like a maarshmaallooww.. eheeh..!!”
He chuckled in his sleep as his hugging turned into more aggressive snuggling.
It made you wonder if he'd remember anything once he woke up.
Outside of those thoughts, you were heavily caught off guard.
You didn't know if you wanted to comfortingly rub at his hair, continue holding his face, or try to hug him entirely.
Internally? You wanted to do all of those things, but it didn't feel right yet.
Despite all the deep talks you've had with Jamie on the drives and flights to missions together, you guys were still just friends at work, right?
Would it be weird to treat a friend as such? 
Did he think you two were even friends?
You always had a tendency to overthink the simplest of things.
Questions would fog your mind the split second a minor inconvenience popped up, you struggled to help that “problem” all your life.
Yet, your time spent with him so far made it feel like your questioning wasn't a problem at all. 
You always wanted to know the specifics and the “why” or “how” in anything that interested you.
Jamison was similar. He fed into your talks about figuring out what's after death, your master-list of alternatives to milk JUST for enjoying it with cereal. your wonders about what being an omnic felt like, and even your rambles about plants having feelings.
He was so invested into the plant talk that he now avoids stepping on anything green to show you that he cared about nature's heart too.
He admired your outlook on everything, the way you approach things by being your real self.
He also liked that you didn't look down on him for having an explosive personality. 
Everyone else at HQ had something against the lanky robber, but you didn't hate him at all. You two matched each other in the way that you were both transparent and almost always had a fixation or a story to share.
His eyes practically turned into sparkles whenever you two got into your deep conspiracy talks because no one else bothered to entertain his yappering about bombs, especially with mutual ranting about something else.
It was nice, soo..
You guys had to at least be friends, right?
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“Mate! Earth’s waitin’ for your grand return! Ya aren’t dead yet.. Are ya, plant woman?”
Friends.. Yeah. You thought you two were cool buddies for all it’s worth.
“Aye! I knooow, me charmin’ physique’s too much to take in aaall at ooonce but-!”
It’s crazy how you were thinking about his eyes sparkling because.. Huh, how come they’re doing it right now?
“I can’t have ya dyin’ on me yet.. Ain’t no doctors around to come and shock ya awake!”
Gosh, who knew the local bombardier had such a twinkle to his eyes anyway?
“Is yer brain workin’? Want me to.. rewire it for ya?”
Twinkle.. twinkle.. twinkle..~
“Well, she’ll be apples! Ya goootta snap outta it mate! What is it ya want this time? An autograph? Some lollies? Aye! Aye..!”
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You were so zoned out into the thought of his eyes, you didn’t even register that you were now actually looking at them; he had woken up.
Your hand was still on his face too, but he wasn’t hugging it anymore. 
His robotic right hand was knocking the top of your head lightly while his skinned left one was holding your cheek. 
His facial expression was one of concern despite his messy blonde hair and some drool glistening off the side of his mouth.
With the way he clearly scooted closer to you, you two were actually really close to each other this time.
“Woaahh.. Ooh.. Oh..? OH!!” You froze up again, covering your mouth and (almost literally) getting knocked out of your trance.
“Whew!” Jamison sighed in relief.
“There's me’ plant woman! Turns out me charm was too much for ya to handle afteraaalll!” He chuckled, quickly shifting into a lounging model pose and striking you a sly grin.
“O-Oh.. Oh my gosh! H-How long was I like that?” You panicked a little, wiping sweat from your forehead and quickly rubbing it into the tail of your shirt.
“Since me eyes opened up! Let's say.. ‘bout half a’ hour?”
“H-half an hour?!?”
“Yeah! Are ya alright? Did ya think me eyes were THAT gorgeous?” He chuckled, rubbing his chin. 
“Pshh..” You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms once again.
“It’s alright if ya think so! I think so too! But, ya aren’t allowed to tell me fans that! Ehehe~!” He grinned, suddenly wrapping his arms around you and jokingly snuggling his head against the top of yours.
“E-eugh!! Fans my ass! Wait until they find out that you probably don't even wash yours, you stinky!” You exclaimed, trying to push your way out of his arms but to no avail.
“S-stinky?!?! Hey-! There's a’ supa’ top secret special essence in me junker way o’ livin..! T-the cleanest ya'd ever know!! How 'bout ya take a smell~!??” He challenged, immediately shoving his arm pits in your face and keeping you in his grasp.
“GOD! Quit it!! You smell terrible-! Ugh!!! Let me go right now!”
“Nuh-uh! Hatin’ on me wondrous magnificence ain't nice!”
“Your breath's gonna kill me, you bastard! Agh!! You literally need a bath!!!” You were muffling into his arms, trying to push him away even harder. 
You managed to push yourself upwards, but you still were trapped in his grasp as he giggled n’ snuggled away. 
As much as you hated to admit it, his silliness was really comforting, charming in it's own way even.
Yeah.. he didn't smell the best, but!!.. He was kind of fun to be around. It was hardly ever boring around the rat man.
“Fine, whatever,” You sighed, no longer fighting to leave his sweaty arms.
“Your eyes are.. nice to look at. Anyway, I'm tired and somehow comfortable in this position so if you move weirdly, I'm pushing you off the bed.”
He loudly gasped, his eyes widening and sparkling so much so that you could've sworn staring directly into them would've blinded you.
“Y-ya really m-mean it?!!?!! A-about.. me eyes?!? OoooOOoohh~! I.. H-How I could jus’ kis-”
You cut him off by wrapping your arms around his head. His face was buried into your chest while his arms were still around you.
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You felt him freeze, his immediate blush against your chest practically able to burn through you. He didn't scream or pull away, just sat there for a bit, shocked at someone hugging him back for once.
You sighed out again in content, now leaning your face on top of his head. His hair felt surprisingly soft against your cheek, but he still smelled bad.
“God, you smell so terrible.. but.. you're kinda.. comfy and..- Okay you're actually very comfy what the hell.” 
You gushed, your leaning turning into you practically snuggling against his hair.
The rat man stayed frozen in his position, shock taking over his body. For once, it wasn't one of those triggering shocks that turned his trauma into adrenaline; it was a.. refreshing kind of shock? The kind that was making him realize how starved from affection he really was for so long.
He felt like a deer mesmerized by headlights.
“If only you didn't move so much in your sleep, tsk tsk.. I can totally get over the strong burnt tire smell for how snuggly your hair is thoug-”
“Ihh shay..”
He suddenly muffled through your chest, but quieter than his normal tone.
“Eh?”
One of his fingers twitched.
“..Ihh shay shihh!”
“Fucking- Get out of there and spit it out!”
You pouted, pulling his face out of your chest’s cave to look him in the eyes and hear him properly.
“I-I’ll stay.. still! m-mighty still.. i-if ya keep on.. rubbin’ that pretty face on ma’ skull.. p-please? please mate!!”
‘Absolutely the fuck not!’ is what you almost instinctively said, but something about this weird man’s vulnerability around you gave you a feeling his request wasn’t ill intended. 
He nudged you into a softer tone towards him for the night, so you silently raised a brow. He kept pleading, his sparkling eyes bouncing between you and the rest of the room.
“I-I ain't had anyone.. touch me ‘air, l-let alone me whole body i-in years! Feels comfortin’- so- i- uh- p-please mate! i won't be buggin’ ya’ rest any longer i-if ya felt kind ‘nough to.. perhaps grant me thee honor-!?”
“I’m doing it, so hush up.”
“Y-yes m’lady”
He quickly blurted out, before burying his face back in-between your chest with a relieved giggle.
“Hah, for someone who goes by being a rat, you're sure acting like a puppy right now.”
“Y-ya really think so!?”
“Yeah sure, but- hmph, the ‘junk’ part still applies. I'm so close to dragging you into a bath myself..”
“>:(“
“Wait.. This kinda gives me an idea..” 
A mischievous grin growing on your face as you mumbled to yourself.
“Whaddya say?”
He grumbled, oblivious to your scheming. You slowly tried pulling away from him, but to no avail.. He unconsciously scooted closer into your arms with each pull.
“..nothing, ratty-poo.” 
You pushed him away quickly with your hands now gripping his shoulders.
“A-ay mate! W-whaddya push me away foorrr? I was enjoyin’ me time in there.. :(“
He yelped in response, his arms now crossing with a pout.
“No more snuggling until you take a bath!”
“W-whuh!?”
“I'm not cuddling your hair until you wash it.”
“..noooo :((“
“No shower, no snuggle!!”
“:(((... Fine..”
“W-wait- You're giving in that easil-?”
“JUNK ATTACK!!!!”
He yelled, diving back into your chest with his arms around your waist once again. You scoffed, not cuddling or holding him back.
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“Rat-ass.”
“Y-yes m-m’lady..??”
“I'm giving you five seconds to get off of me, or I'll kick you off.-”
“N-no!! P-please mate!-”
“I'll go and grab a bucket of ice cold water to throw at you so help me you don't mov-”
You've never seen a tall grown man back up to the edge of a bed so quickly.
“GO.”
You yelled, pointing violently at the bathroom door.
“NEIN!”
“I SAID GO!”
“NO!”
“You want more cuddles from me, right, ratty-poo..?~”
Your tone softened as you twirled your hair and pleaded your eyes at him.
“I- u-uh- y-yes m-m'lady but-”
“THEN GO BATHE!”
He whined another ‘no’ in response, crossing his legs and arms while looking away.
You sighed, before crawling across the bed and hooking your arm around his.
“Lord.. What am I gonna do with you..”
“W-well I- AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!”
“GET YOUR ASS IN THAT SHOWER JAMIE!!”
You yelled again as you held him in a headlock position.
As he whined, you held him there for a bit, thinking.
“Hmm..”
“You l-let go of me t-this instant mate! T-the junkers back in me home town w-wont be pleased with how you're behavin’ towards me greatnes-”
“What if we took a bath together?”
“-and once they find out what you've- huh-!?!”
“You and me, we bathe together. I'll literally help you clean up if it means you won't stink in bed.”
You said casually as you quickly faced him towards you and dropped him onto the bed. He landed on his back with his arms above his head while you sat on top of him.
Questionable position if you may, but you dare not complain about the view.
He was too in shock to notice it either.
He stared at you wide eyed. 
He opened his mouth and put a finger up to say something multiple times, only to close it with more thought and look away, his finger curling up and down with each pause.
He thought about the offer for the long time.
Then, he rubbed his chin. You watched carefully, not letting your guard fall in case he felt like randomly wrapping himself around you again.
“Hmph.. if t-that’s what it'll take.. then I suppose a.. mighty handsome fella like me.. wouldn't mind bathin’ with a.. pretty.. f-flower woman like you!”
“Uh huh..-”
“B-but under one of me’ own conditions!”
“.. you're what now-”
“Bath cuddles?”
He clapped his hands together in a praying motion, pleading with those damn sparkly eyes again. It's like he just does it in command at this point..
“God, what are we, a couple?”
You yawned with closed eyes. 
“I-I.. W-well! Your one an’ only gentleman of’uh bombardier wouldn't complain!”
He nervously smiled and blushed, his gold tooth shining comically as he said that.
It earned a giggle out of you, followed with covered mouth mumbling.
‘You’re so silly, it's kind of attractive..’
“Whaddya say, me’ pretty plant-y mistress?”
“I said, you're so silly, it's kind of.. u-uh- cool-? I guess??!? I don't- Mistress!?- I- W-whatever- C’mon, let's go! Into the baaathh we goo..! C’mon c’moonn..”
You spurted out, getting up and dragging him by the arm into the bathroom. 
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You didn't really think through the fact that.. this man would be so close to you while you two were undressed.
Oddly enough, he didn't give the vibe of someone who'd try anything, but it was still weird. 
One second you're forced to share a bed with this guy.. And the next? You've convinced him to take a shower with you??? Weird..-o!!
When you two made it, you both kind of just stared at the bathroom and each other for a minute. 
It was a decently sized room, but the entirety of it was a shower.. literal shower room?.. whatever.
There wasn't a sink or toilet like the bathrooms you were used to. 
Instead, there was just one large shower head in the center of the room, a drain in a corner, and tiles that patterned the floor and walls in a creamy gradient. The two handles for the shower were next to the doorway, labeled for their temperatures.
There were also two slim windows higher up on two walls facing each other, slightly cracked for the steam.
The only light you guys had came from either these windows, or from the doorway to the room you shared, so it was acceptably dim.
Some vines creeped through corners here and there, but it was surprisingly much cleaner than the rest of the hut you guys stayed in. The non-direct warm lighting really set the vibe.
As you turned both of the handles halfway, you watched in surprise as the rat man happily stripped at whatever he had on, going for a dive on the shower floor as if it were a kid’s waterslide with a ‘yippee!!’
It immediately followed with a groan of pain from him, and a reactive facepalm from you.
With a sigh of ‘Oh, what I'll even do with him..’ (ironic), you quickly undid your hair and stripped off your clothes while he wasn't looking.
He swiveled around right as you finished, watching in awe as you awkwardly shuffled onto the floor next to him with a travel sized bottle of soap and a mini loofa.
“S-ssheesh..” he gaped, “what a beautiful woman..”
“T-thanks, b-but don't look too hard, silly guy.” You joked lightheartedly and rolled your eyes, your initiative agenda from before going out of the window because of the attractive man in front of you.
The hot steamy water combined with how it washed away some of the rat man’s dirt made his revealed skin slightly harder to not drool over..
..but you fought any urges or sudden fantasies you had right then and there. 
‘It’s just the lack of sleep getting to me,’ you quickly scolded yourself in your head, ‘.. there's no way I shoul- COULD see him like that, yep..’
“You're.. not too shabby yourself..” You muttered to get it out of your system, painfully controlling your hands from wandering. Thankfully, he probablyyy didn't hear you. 
With that, you were getting to work with your soap on his arms, trying not to think too hard about the man before you.
“Caaan I have me cuddlin’ time with ya noooww, plant womaaan?”
“Noo! I just started with you and I'm not done yet, rat-head.. Be patient n’ be quiet.” You grumbled, finishing his arms and scrubbing his back like a concerned mother.
“Pleeeaaaaseeee…????” He covered his eyes and whined as you made way to his torso with your loofah. The scrubber was barely holding on and you weren't anywhere near finished..
“Don't make me tie you down in here just to get you clean, bastard..” You threatened, moving from his back to his front side. You held at one side of his torso, scrubbing away.
He moved his hands from his face to his sides, looking down at you with that puzzled gaze once again. You glanced up at him with a raised brow before looking back down at your work.
You weren't actually all too irritated. Tired, yes, but it was actually kind of destressing being able to work your hands at something like this. 
You were also literally.. bathing a grown ass man, but you'd be lying if you said anything about preferring to be at home, bored and alone.
At least this mission gave you some kind of purpose, and alongside an entertaining goofball as well. It could be much worse, but it really wasn't bad at all which you liked.
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Suddenly, he started patting your head, a close eyed grin on his face.
“Oouuhh… M-mate, ya know.. Thanks a lot for this! I appreciate ya’, I really do!”
“Don't sweat it, poo-face, you were already sweating enough in bed anyway..” You chuckled with another playful eye roll.
“If you weren't gonna bathe yourself, something had to be done for BOTH OF us to catch some rest for the mission, and goddess KNOWS I can't sleep with a loud stinky man..” You responded mindlessly, gently grabbing his face by his jaw and scrubbing his neck.
“It gets.. hard sometimes,” he threw his head back with a sigh, “I know I'm supposed ‘tuh.. do it all me’ self but, I lose me’ mind to the world o’ bombs!” He chuckled.
“You don't say…” You coughed with sarcasm, still listening and cleaning. He's used to your personality by now, and he knows you never really mean any harm.
“Oh, but I do! Even with me’ prosthetics, it jus’ makes it harder n’.. I could never fancy the time to.. uh.. keep takin’ em’ on n’ off..”
“..It bugs me, the pain, it's a reeaall.. buggin' feeling, both in me’ arms n’ legs.. n’.. the mind. It does somethin’ to ya, makes people call ya crazy!” He gestured by wiggling his normal arm, then his robotic one in comparison. 
You put his arms down like an annoyed cat, but you weren't actually annoyed, just trying to reach over him to attempt washing his hair.
“..but really ‘m not.. I.. I just resort to.. expressin’ what takes it all away.. and uh! bein’ me!, ya’ kno- Aauh.. T-that feels.. holy..” He cut himself off, sighing in relief. You had bowed his head under the running water for you to better reach him, unknowingly giving him a more direct view of your bare chest. 
“A-Anything to take me’ mind off the.. A-ahem-.. the uh.. rot.. the distinct feelin’ of not bein’ the same as everyone else.. anymore.” He cleared his throat, awkwardly trying not to stare as he spoke, but you didn't think much about it.
“People stay clear of me all the time! N’ they think I don't be noticin’ b-but I do!” He ran a hand through his hair after you moved down to his legs.
“It hurts, but.. I just keep doin’ me’, I try not to stay in me’ past, live for me’ mum, n’ keep it movin’!”
“Oh! That's also why I like ya’ mate!” He smiled, throwing up finger guns.
“Whuh- Really?” You looked at him.
“Yeah! You don't treat me funny for me’ quirks! You always seemed like.. a couple screws loose in somebody’s noggin never bothered ya’! Me’ motors don't drive ya’ wild, do I?” 
“Pshhh… You definitely drive me crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm never down for a wild adventure with you, rat-ass.”
“See? Ya’ get me! I know your tired n’ all, n’ I'm sorry for takin’ away from your beauty rest like this but..” He scratched his chin and sighed, looking to the side.
“Thanks mate, r-really..” He mumbled, shuffling closer and wrapping his arms around you for a genuine hug.
“I- U-uh-.. Your.. welcome? All I've done was treat you like.. a normal human being? As you.. should be?” You awkwardly hugged him back, confused.
You pulled away, your hands on his shoulders.
“Despite our friendship, I don't know what it is you've REALLY really been through, but no matter how tired or over it I may seem, I still think you're hella cool of a guy.” You warmed up to his hug, patting his back.
“Whenever you wanna chat about.. literally anything in the world, you know who to come to, silly.. Seriously, don't ever sweat it.” You smiled and yawned, going back to washing his upper body off for a second, more gentler time. 
You were surprised he didn't question the hot water in hot weather or how quickly it managed to cool you guys off. It was definitely making you more sleepy though.
“T-thanks, plant woman..” He wiped away a tear, sighing with a contentful “aah” as you tended to him. He leaned back, taking in the feeling of your care.
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“Ya know, you're reeaaal good at this.. are ya’, perhaps, experienced ‘n bathing other people?” 
“Wh- This is.. how baths are meant to be taken, no?”
“T-together??!? Mate, I’d kill to have this luxury of bein’ cleaned by ya’ like this all the time!!”
“Whuh- No! I m-meant.. the soap and water, you fucking peanut.”
“Ooh.. W-well!” he pointed a finger up, “I don't care ‘bout standin’ under some lousy water for a’ hour! But.. ya’ make me want to if it means you'll be the one cleanin’ me!”
“You're an adult, Jamie.”
“Don't forget me’ prosthetics-”
“They're literally waterproof sealed..”
“How would ya’ even know that!?”
“You told me this in our past rant sessions, twice I might add.. Something about avoiding radiactiv-”
“Screw you, mate! ( ` ロ ´ )”
“..You probably would though. (>ᴗ•)”
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☆ if anyone actually makes it this far, tysm for reading!! feedback is 100% welcomed and appreciated <33
☆ i promise ill get the smut out for this eventually.. ill also make a pinned request post soon!! with graduation coming up, im a bit busy :((.. BUT ITLL ALL COME!
☆ ^^ update, here it is!!
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☆ enjoy ur day/night yall! eat, stay hydrated, and keep loving junkrat fr ♡( ◡‿◡ )
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istherewifiinhell · 13 days
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scheduled hopefully for appropriate insanity causing hours
304 cant believe everyone in gin.tama just lives like this. the. speech convictions dramatic childhood flashbacks promises lifestyle. not just for main characters i guess (is this guy the shogun.....)
yay yay yippppppe the guys. yay ayay yippeee flashbacks. DONT DIE.
kaaaaaaruga. always suspected. if i understood her more id be obsessed. Confirmed. 2 second in pulling that. i was waiting for ur weakness bullshit. BEAT UP UR OLDER BROTHER. (<- comma. gay? ) kagura born on this planet.... half a second of taka.gin grappling could sustain me for a life time (gin puts his hands on him to throw him) hey fellas i know this is the Sword Penis show but have u considered going at it meg.op. style. for me?
omg baby flashback leftest infighting. sugi ur not the most oppressed person in the world u know. well u would say that scholarship baby zura. diddddddd they shape each others ideologies like that. where they reading theory together as shitty little kids -> well prob not this show but lets indulge
oh right gin former. ghost eating thing. showing up to the school yard beef with a real sword.
HI SHOU.YOU. HI. his little pogchamps
loveeee how they do the blood in this show looks like velvet, alll dark shimmery. also the editing. wooooo.
bushido speech. this shit is cool actually. also leon.ardo the ninja turtle would love it (03)
zura giving him fooooood oh no. little. verbal redirects of kindness transparency
NOOOO SUGI beats gin for the first time clip NO NONO SUGI LAUGHING SLOW MO CLIP (already tearing up)
ahhhh the position of the school and the attitudes of the backgrounder kids actually very affecting and interesting isnt it.... shou.youuuuuuuu the man(thing) that u are....
ep. 305
theeeeee babies. the babies.... the babiest guys. so so charmedddd by them charmeddd again by how. unexpected? maybe. sugi and zura stick together.... the remainers..... kidtoki why are uuuu such a perfectly cromulent. thing. little. video game character ass look. perfect. shitty cool affect. wanna pinch his little cheeks 10/10 letting this kid be the leader of the playground gang.
shou.youuuuuu shou.youuuuuu. such a. believably. man with his complexities but hes being around children so (friendly voice) 'thats right. what do you think' sooooo. yeah immediately believes 100 thousand percent he means everything he says so truly yeah i probably would get. horrible weird trauma give the givens too
THROW THE SWORDS AWAY YAYYYYYY. flashback. ohhhhhhh sugi. i little. weird bitch (said in. desperate scrambling fondness. i love the things that are wrong with him)
gin boots are so hot...
SOMEONE INTIMATE TO CUT AND CURSE!!!!!!! ohhhhh babes (what could i possible say abt it that hasnt been said) well i hope they fuck themselves to death about it
fightscene styles gt vs tf <- place holder i left for myself. that will be extricated to a diff post.
gin scrambling in the blood and dirt under all the promises he has given his loved one. YES BABE. thats exactly what ur supposed to be going
ohhhhhh godddddddd the fucking beheading scene back to back from both of their perspectives oh jesus fuck oh hell. im going to. cut and curse at someone else. i guess. THANKS HIM. THANKS HIM FOR IT. (crying) cool. thats normal. i feel normal about the man (shou.you)(gin)
what the fuck. oboro real? thats fucked up. THATS WHO TAKES THE EYE? (knew this techincally) WHO THE FUCK IS OBORO. (am seeing him) why is he a grown ass man i thought he was a kicked dog of a boy.
SUGI. SUGI YOU DUMB BITCH (loves him)(loves intractable positions)(loves the emotional incommunicability of reality)(loves an emotional confliction you can never resolve and just have to die about) he did it to save u fucking losers. cause his fucking teacher dad man asked him too. and thanked him for the service. ohhhhh u miserable fucks
why did you SAVE US. say it like that. damn.
oh youd do anything. youd kill shou.you. youd kill sugi himself. just to save the student your teacher loved. okay. okay. jesus. so you are the same. so your exactly the same person. your saying things that dont even make sense youve both lost any plane of reality cause you cant separate the things youve lost from the things you have. the very people youve saved are now reflected in those youve lost and youll both kill them to keep them alive. okay. no yeah thats fine cool lol.
(i guess sugis version would technically be said in reverse, you cant separate what youve have from what youve lost and the very person you lost are reflect in the one who saved you. and to keep him alive (crying gin.toki) youd kill him)
and MOST IMPORTANTLY. because you are the same person. you see yourself in him and him in yourself and u cant figure out where you end and he begins and your diametric opposed mirror reflection goals that lead you to taking. the exact same actions. okay. lol. OKAY. lol.
WHO THE FUCK IS OBORO. GET OUT OF HERE FREAK. i was talking.
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id alt. im always saying this. or even just. Why is Oboro.
ep 306
heyyyyyy kagura! hiiiiii. youre not dead yay! hi. older brother. youre still here.
squints ohhhh these are. the cops? mayo man and. is this the other canonical gay sex haver or. (only has the normalest of second hand knowledge)
'if im just gonna end up as fertilizer anyway, i dont care if my path there is paved by roses or thorns.' damn dude. get out of the fucking. whatever ur in. and go become a metal music lyricist. what the fuck
oh shin.pachi. ur in this show.
googling. cant figure it out. whoever this green zombie bitch is sounds familiar. wish he had a name or smth.
damn there really is space in this show huh. thats crazy thats crazy. planet of the big hats vs planet of. umbrellas? anyone wanna watch space military anime.....
shogun 'i will protect the country were my friends live' what kagura said abt the planet. 'and to fulfill that goal, you'll even endure the deaths of your friends here?' gestures at the shou.you trolley problem. wow. that is tidy. good job recursive gin.tama
why do you grip that broken sword. you killed your teacher. you battled your friend. - my enemy is right here. WEVE NEVER CHANGED. weve all been fighting our own selves. ill stop him. even if it means having to kill him. but im also the one who understands how he feels better than anyone else
ohhhhhh gin. tama. ohhhhh gin. toki. i love u. i love u so much for just. saying insane thesis shit. like. yeah! YEAH OKAY! yeah thats. making out sloppy style with the narrative theming <- what do i mean by that.
be it killing him or protecting him. their both my job (gets so hard i pass out)
gin: says the most homoerotic twisted identity shit ive ever heard in my life that rests solely on. how unextractable gin. and sugi both are from each other due to. their love of shou.you. and thus. reflectionally. each other. oboro: his students are burning with hatred. <- IS HE STUPID?
and second question. upon reflection, looking at this grown ass man thing. do we have a classic ninja turtles adult beefing with teenagers situation. please tell me yes i will roast this man to shit.
(sugi also say gay twisted identity shit) [impact image font] we are. we are going to beat you to death.
[ending bumper comedy thing] u cannot deny their commitment to the bittism. need this shit for my annoying nitpick continuity fandoms. yeah no it was cause he pooped his pants. he shitted and farted.
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listofwhyyouloveher · 5 months
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Hii!! Can you do Johnny x fem reader fic whos a soc but really nice to him and doesn’t rlly care abt to whole soc vs greasers thing and hangs around with him while with her friends, not caring if they thought of her differently or not. but johnny, he thinks his friends will think something else when they find out hes with a soc so he tries avoiding her whenever his friends are around and reader gets upset and asks him why he explains and says he would introduce her despite still being scared and when he does and he thought it went well since tjey were so nice to her but after she left they all told him that shes not good for him blah blah and like she forgets something so she ends up going back and she hears everything and gets really sad? im sorry if this is too specific and long 😭
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Summary: In which you are friends with Johnny but the gang thinks it's a bad idea Warnings: angst?? Author's Note: writers block hitting harder than my burnt blinkers atp You and Johnny had been good friends for a while now. Well, maybe it was more of a one-sided friendship. He almost always avoided you when you were with your friends or when he was with his. You could understand why he’d avoid you when you were around your friends, they were rowdy and dangerous sometimes, but you just couldn’t understand why he’d keep you from his friends. Deep down, you knew that it was because of the soc versus greaser thing, but as much as you tried to reassure him that you genuinely wanted to be his friend, your friendship stopped pretty much as soon as the school bell rang. 
One day, you stopped him at his locker. “Johnny, I’d really like to meet your friends.” You said, asserting a level of seriousness into your normally lighthearted conversations. “Not a good idea, Y/n” You rolled your eyes. “Oh, please! I promise, I won’t do anything to piss them off!” And with some convincing, you two decided on Sunday to go and meet them. You walked quickly, with a briskness that only came with a happy mood. It was Sunday and you were walking to the ‘Curtis brother’s’ house. You’ve heard of them before but not much could be said about them. You rounded the corner and stepped up the porch, gently knocking. You listened as the chatter ceased and footsteps approached the door. Johnny opened it, a weary smile on his face, he stepped to the side to let you in. “Hello!” You said as you entered and everyone inside got up to greet you. 
There was 1 young boy, 3 guys who sat close together and whispered to each other and 2 older guys. They each introduced themselves, one with less grace than the others. His gruff demeanor threw you off but you tried to be as cheerful as possible throughout the whole conversation.
In your opinion, it went pretty well, and as you bid them goodnight you thought that they thought the same. But as it turns out, you remembered you forgot your purse there and hurried back only to catch a glimpse of their conversation.
“I don't know man, you know about them socs..” the boy known as Sodapop said.
“Swear, she's really nice. And she says she doesn't care about us being greasers.” Johnny tried,
“Yeah? And since when do you trust socs?” Dallas countered and there was a murmur of agreement.
“Best not to associate with them” Darry muttered, and you gasped, Darryl was the nicest out of them all. You damn near broke into tears, a quiet sob escaping your lips. Your purse would have to wait because all you wanted to do was to run home and cry.
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petrigrof-doomed-yuri · 2 months
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HELP MEEEEeee!!!!2!2!3!
ok uhm. so i have way too many ideas about petrigrof that i cannot decide what to post first. so like if u wanna ask me a question in my asky question thingy and ill answer it with as much detail as i possibly can! /nf obviously this is just so i make sure A, i cover everything and B, i dont get overwhelmed by the amount of shit i wanna talk about
you dont have to obviously, but if u wanna hear someone talk abt ur crazy ideas or answer a question you don’t know (if i dont know either ill do my best to look into it!) im your gal :3 everything petrigrof related is more than welcome! simon, ice king, betty, golb, magic man, normal man, the whole mars planet in general, id be more than happy to answer!
and even if u have questions about adventure time in general ill answer! i cant promise itll be very detailed because im not as interested in it, but shoot your shot dude!
ok love u guys mwa mwa mwa <3
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