#im so sorry but this has been living in my brain for over a year

[catboy-teeth]

here's my worst idea ever

[azulpitlane]

new years day I ln4

pairing: lando norris x reader summary: in which lando reunites with his childhood crush and only has a few days after christmas to confess his feelings, slightly inspired by new years day by miss swift notes: pt 2 of just pr is still in the works! im also working on a few requests🤸‍♀️enjoy this for now and happy holidays!! masterlist

christmas eve

Lando's hands were shaking as he impatiently waited for you to greet him. It was his family's annual christmas eve party and he watched as his sisters and mother surrounded you the moment you walked through the doors. They hadn't seen you in so long so of course they insisted for you to attend the party this year. You had known Lando and his family since you were a kid seeing as you were childhood neighbors and grew up playing with him and his sisters. As you grew older, you attended his a few of his races and supported him every step of the way, but of course time and other responsibilities got in the way of your friendship. You began to grow apart over the last few years and it was starting to break Lando.

He hadn't even realized it was happening until you stopped attending the christmas parties 2 years ago, something about being too busy on work trips to come home. He had been so busy at the time with racing and having his own girlfriend that he did not even notice he had not seen his best friend in so long. After that he tried to reach out but again, time wasn't on your side because you were now too busy with your own work to keep up with the friendship for too long. Lando watched your life through your pictures on social media and felt his heart ache every time you posted, a reminder that you were growing and living a life without him.

But you were back now. And you looked even more beautiful than you did last time he saw you. You adorned a long dark red dress with black heels and Lando couldn't help but keep his gaze on solely you. You looked up as you felt his stare on you and smiled softly at him. Lando could feel like heart start to race as you excused yourself from the girls and start your way towards him.

"Lan, it's so great to see you. It's been so long!" You extended your arms as you hugged him, missing the feeling of his arms.

Lando's brain was too scattered to even respond so he just squeezed you and nuzzled his head in your neck. He couldn't believe you were back and in his arms. He wanted to stay there for the rest of the night and he couldn't help but wonder if you were feeling the same homey feeling he was. He felt you pull away and he almost pouted, thinking the hug was not long enough for his liking.

You looked at him softly and asked, "How's everything? I watched the races as much as I could and you did amazing this season! Congratulations."

You were always pretty but now? You were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He felt like he was ten years old all over again, following you around like a puppy as he started developing his first real crush on a girl. He couldn't help it, you were always just so-

"Lando? Are you alright?'

He snapped out of his daze and realized how much of an idiot he must've looked. There you were talking to him and he did nothing but watch you in silence. He heard snickering and peaked over your shoulder and saw his sister watching the whole interaction with a teasing smile.

"Oh-yeah yeah. I was just zoned out there for a second haha um it's good to see you! Sorry, um what did you say before?" He could feel his face slightly heat up and he wanted to slam his head on the wall.

You giggled finding this situation amusing. You weren't used to seeing Lando like this and were a little confused on why he seemed nervous, but you quickly brushed it off and assumed he was just shocked to see you.

"I was congratulating you on your season, you did great!"

"You still watch my races?"

"Of course I do! I promised I would watch every race, remember?"

How could he forget? It was his first season in formula one and unfortunately you were too busy with school to travel with him, but before he left you pinky promised you would watch every race from that moment on. He never told you but he felt at ease knowing you were somewhere watching over him.

"Yeah, I remember."

You both spent the next hour catching up before your mothers interrupted you both saying it was time for dinner. They placed your seats together, wanting to see you both reunited after so long. They knew Lando was hopelessly in love with you, they were just waiting for you both to realize it.

The dinner felt nostalgic as you were all finally in the same room together. It was filled with laughs, catching up and stories from your childhoods. You and Lando shared stolen glances and flushed faces when someone caught the longing stares.

christmas

"She leaves right after new years day by the way." Lando's mother told him as she handed him a plate of breakfast.

"Who?"

She gave him a knowing glance and he looked down pretending like he hadn't been asking himself how much time he had before you left again and lose contact with you. Last night was amazing and he felt himself falling for you all over again. He always knew he liked you but the less he saw of you over the years, he thought those feelings dwindled. Last night proved that wrong. He tried to date other girls to forget you and it worked for a while until he started thinking of you and wondering how different things would be if he just confessed his feelings.

"Y/n. She's been so caught up in work she wants to go back to her job right away in Spain even though it's not mandatory. That girl needs a break."

"Maybe she's eager to get back because she's met a handsome spanish man." Lando's sister spoke up from beside him. He turned to her with a questioning gaze and she smirked at him.

"No. She didn't mention a guy at all last night. I doubt she's met anyone, right?" Lando's sister and mother watched as he slowly started to panic, his sister with a teasing grin and his mother with slight concern. "I mean if she's so busy with work she couldn't have time for any guy, yeah. Yeah no she can't be with anyone. Right?"

Silence.

"Flo what do you know? Did she say anything about a boyfriend?"

She burst out laughing as she watched her brother panic, she knew there was no other guy in the picture but she liked teasing her brother. Everybody knew about his love for you and though she found it amusing, she just wanted you two to be together already.

"I was just teasing! There is no guy calm down. But if don't confess about your pathetic little crush on her soon then there will be another guy whisking her away."

"What? Crush-no I don-"

"Save it. We all already know, except for her. And we're all getting a little tired of your obliviousness. Just confess before she leaves or you'll lose your chance to. She probably won't be back for another year and a lot can happen in that time span Lan."

2 days later

Lando had thought a lot about what his sister said and later that night decided to ask you to hang out over the phone. You agreed and he felt so relieved, planning on finally confessing his feelings. He psyched himself up and even got some advice from his sisters. Be a gentleman. Don't buy her flowers, you prefer chocolate. Dress nice but not like you're trying to hard. Go somewhere lowkey for dinner. Then take her on a walk and give her your jacket. Be honest. Tell her how you've always felt. If she feels the same, ask for a kiss. Take her home and walk her to the door.

The night had been going exactly as planned and there was never a moment of silence between you two as you made your way over to have dinner, always laughing and sharing stories with each other. That was until you said,

"The waitress totally has the hots for you."

"What! I don't think so." Truthfully Lando was so focused on you, that he could've easily missed her hitting on him. He quickly tried to deter the conversation and not talk about other women when he only wanted to talk about you.

"So what are you thinking of ordering?"

"Hm, I was thinking-wait the waitress is on her way here!"

"Are you guys ready to order?" She focused her gaze on Lando and gave him a sweet smile. He squirmed a bit as he could see you watching the interaction, holding in your laughter.

"Uh yeah, I'll have the pasta carbonara, please."

"Great choice. That's my favorite!"

"Oh how lovely, then i'll have the same thing."

"Perfect, are you two celebrating anything special tonight? An anniversary?"

You could barely contain your laughter, the girl seemed very sweet but you had no idea how Lando hadn't noticed she was clearly interested. She began throwing hints the moment she got their drinks and he was so oblivious to them, you found it funny.

"Um no, we're just two friends catching up."

Two friends? Catching up? Had he not made it clear this was a date?He thought back on the phone call and realized he had said 'hang out' and not explicitly date. Shit, how was he going to make it clear now?

"Lucky me then." She mumbled but you both heard it very clearly. You raised your eyebrows at Lando, wordlessly saying 'told you so'.

The rest of the dinner consisted of the waitress constantly interrupting and focusing her attention on Lando. He was beginning to get irritated but chose not to say anything, he did not want to come off as rude. Before you guys left, you got up to use the restroom and Lando used this time to check his phone. With him distracted, the waitress slipped her phone number in the pocket of his jacket that was hanging over his chair.

You both eventually walked out into the England cold and Lando suggested a walk, happy to get some time alone with you without getting interrupted. You told him you left your jacket in the car and Lando discreetly smiled. Perfect.

"No problem! Here, just take mine."

Before you could even protest, he was draping his jacket over your shoulders and you couldn't help but blush a little. So with flushed cheeks and brushing hands, you both walked and talked about everything and anything. As the winds started picking up, you slipped your arms in the jacket sleeves and put them in the pockets to warm your hands. You felt something in there and curiously took it out thinking it was just garbage.

Lovely to meet you tonight :) Call me xxx xxx-xxx-xxxx

You felt your heart drop. He actually took her phone number. You had found the whole flirting waitress thing funny because it was clear he didn't feel the same way but with him being too nice, he didn't say anything. You guess you were wrong. He was interested. Did he wait for you to leave to the bathroom to ask?

You quickly slipped the piece of paper back in the pocket and looked at him as he rambled about some story of his friend falling for his best friend. You couldn't listen anymore, you didn't even want to be there anymore. You thought maybe after tonight that he liked you back, but maybe that just wasn't the case.

"But yeah, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Like they had been friends for so long it was a matter of time before they, you know, got together." Lando knew he was trying a little too hard but he had no idea how to transition a normal conversation to a love confession. You had stopped responding and he looked down at you and saw you completely spaced out.

"Are you okay?"

"Uh yeah. Just cold. Maybe we should get going, you don't have a coat and it's getting colder."

Lando started panicking, he had completed all the other steps his sisters told him to do but he was about to miss the most important part.

"Oh don't worry about me. I'm fine, I promi-" Achoo!

"You're already getting sick! Come on let's go." You grabbed his arm and pulled him towards his car. He admitted defeat and let himself be dragged.

There was an odd silence on the car ride home and he felt confused on your sudden change of mood. How was he going to confess now? You were clearly tired and a love confession in his car is not exactly the romance he was looking for. As he pulled up to your homes you weakly smiled at him and took off his coat.

"Let me walk you up to your door."

"No it's fine, I can walk a few steps by myself." You didn't mean for it to come out so snarky but you couldn't help it. It stunned Lando and he suddenly felt like he had done something wrong.

"Oh um okay. I'll watch you just in case. But um I had a great time tonight. We should do this again before you leave."

"Yeah, of course."

"How about new years? I'm throwing a small gathering with Max at my old apartment. Do you um want to come with me?"

You should ask a girl you actually like instead of me. Is what you were thinking but instead you said,

"Yeah, sure."

"Great! I'll pick you up at around nine?"

"Sounds good."

One more chance to admit his feelings.

new years eve

"I dont know, she's been acting strange these past few days. Her texts are so dry and I even offered to take her shopping for an outfit tonight and she denied." Lando was starting to doubt himself, he thought about every moment during your little hangout and he couldn't think of anything he did wrong. Should he have rejected the waitress? Maybe he could've been more clear on it being a date?

"Stop overthinking mate, maybe she really just is busy. She's never home, im sure shes taking the time to catch up with friends and family." Max listened to his complaints all afternoon and was getting sick of it.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Stop doubting yourself bro and snap out of it. You have to pick her up soon and tonight's a great day to confess. Just have a drink or two for a little confidence, find somewhere quiet to do it and you'll have your midnights kiss on lock."

"Okay, okay. Tonight's the night."

"Exactly! Now go bring her here!"

Tonight was not the night.

You were wearing a small, tight black dress that made Lando's head spin, and apparently a lot of other men's too because you were constantly turning heads. It was beginning to bother him as he felt like he was competing for your attention all night which led to one too many drinks. He wasn't a fan of alcohol but he definitely needed the confidence boost and his jealousy from seeing you talk to other guys led to him staying at the bar for far too long.

He didn't realize how drunk he was until he got up from the couch to talk to you and the whole room began to spin. He stumbled slightly and Max quickly stood up to catch him.

"Woah, I said one or two drinks, how many have you had?!"

"Uhh I don't know like eight or nine or ten or maybe more, i don't know." His voice was slurred and Max winced knowing there was no way he could talk to you like this.

"Okay let's get you some water and maybe some bread? To soak all the alcohol up and then you can talk to y/n."

"Nah nah, I'm fine. Let me talk to her now."

"No bro listen-"

Lando pushed Max off of him and quickly made his way to you, eager to be in your presence. He interrupted your conversation with one of his friends that he couldn't quite name due to his blurred vision. He put his arm around your shoulder and put his weight on you causing you to stumble slightly.

"Y/N! Just the girl I was looking for, hey let's go somewhere quiet. I wanna talk."

"Okay? Are you alright, Lan? Maybe we should get you some water."

"No, no. Let's go outside for a bit." He interlocked your hands and stumbled out of the room, dragging you along. He leaned against one of the trees and faced you.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"You're so pretty."

You blushed and thanked god for the cold weather, so you had an excuse for your flushed cheeks. He pulled you closer and played with the hem of your dress.

"Thank you Lando. That's what you wanted to talk about?"

"No, well kinda." He paused as he felt a wave of nausea wash over him. He took a quick deep breath and tried to swallow the feeling down.

"Are you sure you're okay? You look a little pale."

"Yes, I am-" There was that nausea again, except this time he couldn't swallow the feeling down and before he knew it he was throwing up.

"OH MY GOD! LAN."

Max heard the commotion and immediately made his way towards you. His eyes widen as he looked at you with Lando's throw up on the lower half of your dress and looking like you wanted to hurl yourself. He ran back in and got you napkins before going back out.

"Oh god, here you y/n take these and go into Lando's old room upstairs, first door on the right. There's a bathroom in there and spare clothes you can use."

"Thank you Max, do you need me to bring him water?"

"No no I got it from here, just go clean yourself up."

Lando continued to empty his stomach as Max winced but continued to rub his back. After he finished he grabbed a water bottle and took him upstairs to his old bed.

"There you guys are! How are you doing Lan, do you need anything?" You said as you walked out of the bathroom in a new change of clothing.

Even in his drunken state, he couldn't help but to feel embarrassment. He had just fucked up his chance, and it wasn't even midnight yet.

"I'm so so sorry y/n. I'm so embarrassed, I had too much to drink and I didn't mean to, I swear!" He slurred out.

"It's okay Lando, I promise. Here, lie down for a little bit and drink some water, it will make you feel better."

Max smiled as he watched you take care of his idiotic friend and walked out to give you some privacy.

"Im so stupid. Im sorry, y/n."

"Stop apologizing Lan! I promise you, I am fine. Now close your eyes you look tired."

"But it's not midnight yet."

"That's okay, it will be a new year when you wake up."

You had no idea that the real reason he wanted to stay up was to be your new years kiss. Another plan down the drain. He pouted as he looked at you, you're leaving soon and who knows when he'll see you again.

"Come on, stop pouting. I'll watch over you as you sleep."

"Really?" He looked at you with childlike excitement as his green eyes widened at you.

"Of course, now scooch over."

You both missed the fireworks and celebrations of the new year but that was okay, you were safe in each others arms sleeping.

Lando woke up quite early considering how early he fell asleep the night before. He looked down on your sleeping figure on his chest. He thought hard about what happened last night for you to end up in his arms. The memories came quickly, the dress, the drinks, then the puke. He scrunched his face up and fought the urge to groan in embarrassment. He couldn't believe he managed to fuck up again. He sighed then carefully got up to get some painkillers for his throbbing headache.

He went down to the kitchen and looked around at the mess from the party. Glitter on floor, bottles everywhere, polaroids laying around on the floor. He couldn't stop thinking about last night and started to pick some garbage up to get his mind off of it. He almost wanted to cry, though you were nice about it, it was still a hard blow to his ego. He looked like some idiot who couldn't hold his alcohol in front of you and he wondered if you changed your perception of him after last night. He was so caught up in his thoughts, he didn't hear you come down. He was startled by the sudden movement in the corner of his eye causing him to drop the bottle in his hands. Shit. He quickly tried to pick up some of the big pieces up which was a big mistake since he accidentally cut his hand in the process.

"Im so sorry Lan, I didn't mean to scare you. You're bleeding now, let me see."

Of course it was you. Another embarrassing moment to add to the list.

"It's okay, I'm the idiot who grabbed the glass."

You gently grabbed his hand then led him to the bathroom where you had seen a first aid kit. You were so soft and gentle with him as you cleaned the cut in his hand. The mix of you nursing his bleeding hand with last night's disaster and his hangover had his mind foggy and emotional. Lando's eyes began to tear up and he couldn't even pinpoint why. Was he still drunk? Is it because you're leaving tomorrow and he didn't confess? Or was it the embarrassment from last night?

"There you go, good as new." You looked up and you were faced with his pained expression and immediately began to panic. You knew Lando wasn't emotional, over the years you had known him you had only seen him cry a few times.

"Lan, what's going on? What's wrong?"

Your worry was his breaking point and the tears began to fall. You quickly pulled him into your embrace and rubbed his back in hopes of comforting him.

"I'm sorry, this is so stupid. God why the fuck am I crying right now?"

"No, no if it's bothering you it's not stupid and whatever it is, you can tell me, I won't judge."

You pulled away and even though you were confused with his behavior the last few days, you wiped off the tears from his face and were willing to do anything to make him feel better.

"Talk to me Lan."

"I love you."

"What?"

His eyes widened as the words accidentally slipped out his mouth. He didn't mean to say them but you were being so sweet and gentle with him even after everything. There goes the romantic confession.

"No! Um I didn't mean that, I don't even like you."

"Oh."

"NO! Ughh, fuck it."

He grabbed your face and pulled your lips together. You quickly kissed him back and felt butterflies erupt in your stomach. Neither of you could believe this was happening right now, but you were both so content with the moment. Once you pulled away, he kept his hand on your face and smiled at you softly.

"Please don't go tomorrow."

"I won't."

notes: this was not proofread at all so if there were mistakes...my bad

[satoruyes]

co-parent bakugou

katsuki bakugou x reader (part two)

   fwb! bakugou who often came by your dorm during college to drop off school work when you missed lectures and loads when you missed him.

fwb! bakugou who came by before bed to fuck you into your pillow and listen to your hushed moans, hushed so your roommates wouldn’t hear. (they did)

fwb! bakugou who’s scared of committing because he “couldn’t see you in his future” and was too focused on his.

fwb! bakugou who’s late night visits became more and more scarce.

fwb! bakugou who months later soft launches his new partner on his story after telling you he’s not ready for a relationship.

fwb! bakugou who stops breathing at the sight of your name popping up on his phone as he cuddles his partner while watching movies, and nearly has a stroke at the “Im pregnant.” text. 

_____

“well are ya sure it’s mine?” he asks, not daring to look away from you. you break eye contact and look outside the coffee shops’ window to focus on anything other than this conversation you’ve been dreading. “are you serious? you should know i’m not exactly one to sleep around,” you say to the man. he nods and his grip on his mug gets tighter, knuckles visibly whiter. “well, are ya keepin’ it,” he asks, “i don’t think  that’d be a bright idea for either of us.” you kind of glare but think over his words. “you know how my parents feel about abortion kats.. i’d be disowned. the second the press found out about it, my family would be done for,” your eyes start to water and a tear threatens to fall, you pause “.. i thought you said you don’t do relationships?”

katsuki stares at you and shakes his head, “those fuckin’ hormones already getting to your brain or somethin?“ he sighs, “you know i can’t do this *nickname*. i’m in a committed relationship with raya, we’re getting engaged next month. on top of that, i can’t be number one with a baby leechin’ of me.” your heart drops, “you’re.. getting engaged? i.. um.. well, congratulations. i’m sorry to burden you with all of this… and i can’t abort it anyway.. i.. i’m too far along.. and i cant do this.” you finish & get up from the table and leave.

________

baby daddy! bakugou who ends up losing contact with you for months after you block him on everything a refuse to meet up per your family’s request.

baby daddy! bakugou who nearly forgets about you years later til kirishima brings you up and shows him your instagram.

baby daddy! bakugou who gets home and stalks you from a burner account, finds out you still talk to everyone from college but him.

baby daddy! bakugou who sees a pretty little ruby-eyed girl down your timeline, her resemblance to him uncanny.

baby daddy! bakugou who pulls some strings and texts your number asking to meet his daughter, hana. 

___________

hana is 2 years old by now, forming choppy sentences and now waddling on her feet. after a week of texting, you finally fold and let him come over to meet his daughter. when you open the door to let him in he nearly finds himself choking on his spit at how beautiful you are. you looked even better than your posts, if that’s possible. you greeted him with a nod and invited him in. he takes his shoes off and head to the living room you led him to. you exchange stale pleasantries and small talk til you decide to go get your baby girl. “her name is ‘hana lei bakugou,’ as much as i wanted her to have my last name.”

you walk over to him and hand her to him, noticing the wedding band resting around his ring finger. you scoff, “wow so you two actually got married?” he nods and analyzes his daughters’ features. “shes so pretty, just like ‘er momma,” he half smiles and look up at you. “so i’ll have her back later tonight, gonna take ‘er home to meet the wife and all of that.” he goes to get off the couch. “woah, you don’t get to do that. you don’t get to come back back after all this time like nothing happened.” he looks frustrated for a second, “you can’t just- … yea yer right, ‘m sorry.’’

you nod, “how about we go up to her room and play?” he agrees and follows you into his daughter’s bedroom while carrying her.

“So.. how long have you two been in the area?” he asks, scanning his daughter's room. “I never really left, just moved closer to the city i guess,” you reply; putting hana down to the floor. She waddles over to katsuki. “hana, baby this is your father,” you look down at the little girl. At first she looks up at you with her glowing beady eyes then she looks over to Katsuki sitting over on a couch. “papa?” she asks and she points her dainty finger at him. you nod and smile. “yes baby, that's your papa.” 

katsuki looks at the little girl and she reaches up for him. “up.” she says, and he obliges. you two talk and rekindle for what seemed to be days. In reality it was just about 4 hours. “*name* it was really nice to see you again, let's go out for dinner sometime. with hana of course.” you lead him downstairs while he says his goodbyes to hana. 

-- 

“I told ya about this years ago raya, you can't be mad about this. What did you expect? for them to disappear?” bakugou yells at his wife. “well i didnt fucking expect you to go out of your way to to reach out either!” she pouts, anger and jealousy laced in her tone. “I have to own up to this responsibility now whether you like it or not, stop fuckin’ cursin’ at me. ‘m already stressed as is; ‘ion need yer bitchin’.” 

“oh so now i'm bitching because you went out and got some slut pregnant.. you're just full of it katsuki.” raya says, glaring at him now. “ya cant get mad at me because I wanna be a father, ‘nd not just leave some kid stranded out here.” 

“it's not just about the kid is it? do you miss the bitch or something? do you miss the sex? did she give you better head than I do?” raya accuses, bakugou sighs and goes to leave the room, “‘nd yea- she did give better head.” as he walks to their shared room he can hear her still yelling in the distance.

katsuki bakugou goes to sleep confused tonight. He wonders why was he such a prick. he wonders why did his heart pound so fast- why were his hands so sweaty when he saw you.

he couldn't do this. he has a wife. hes happily married, regardless of any arguments. his wife was the mayors daughter and promised him various things, she promised him glory. of course he didn't need her but it's definitely more helpful to have more "support." plus you hated him, only putting up with him for the sake of his daughter. no, it wasn't attraction- it was just nervousness. he loved his wife.

katsuki woke up to his wife, raya in his arms. she looked so pretty and peaceful like this. he snapped out of his daze and got out of bed to catch a shower. he couldn't help but find his hand reaching down to take care of himself. usually when he finds himself touching himself; its of thoughts of his wife from the night prior. but today it was you. he felt shameful but he just couldnt help it. he couldn't stop himself from thinking about you. hes only human.    

[makisoda]

𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 (𝐄𝐖𝐖) !

jjk boys and their icks… because no man is perfect…

jjk boys x implied fem!reader

cw : men being gross, slight nsfw in nanami’s part, very mild misogyny if you squint in megumi’s part, this post was literally just so i could rant kinda

a / n : long time no see… not much to say other than i’ve been busy !!! anyways hope you enjoy :)

yuji itadori - bad grammar

giving him the tamest one tbh because he’s such a sweetheart </3 idk why but i feel like he just has such shitty grammar… like he’s smart ! just not when it comes to grammar. for example, he mixes up his to, too, and two’s, his there’s, and don’t get me started on your vs you’re :/ again he’s the sweetest boy ever ! it’s just the fact he probably failed his lit classes…

megumi fushiguro - “females”…

i was so close to giving this to satoru but i didn’t cause he has shoko to hold him down, megumi on the other hand… look, i don’t think he’d say it in front of girls, but to other dudes, yk ? and i definitely don’t think it’s on purpose to try and be an asshole but it just happens. quickly unlearns it when he says it around maki though.

yuta okkotsu - referring to himself in third person

you guys know how elmo is like, “elmo wants to go to the park,” yeah… yuta does this. and no, it’s not ironically. he definitely thinks it’s cute too and sometimes it is ! but it’s to an extent. like it’s cute the first couple times where he is goes, “yuta loves you,” but then it gets weird and corny when he’s like, “yuta wants to get dinner,” like ermmmm ok…

toge inumaki - fish pics.

as someone who lives in those south i see these OFTEN. for those who don’t know, fish pics are basically when dudes hold up fish they caught while fishing and post pictures of them holding it… i think the main problem with this to me is that a lot of very weird and racist men do it, so that’s why i hate it. anyways i’m 90% sure he has an official art where he’s holding a fish ( i also didn’t know what ick to give him ).

satoru gojo - his height is his whole personality

this shit irks me so bad omg. as someone who’s short ( 5’0 ) and hates seeing other short people make their whole personality their height, it’s even worst when it’s a tall person. satoru is definitely the type to be like, “omg guysss i bumped my head otw hereeee i’m so tallll,” like no you’re just stupid ! he definitely has other icks but this was the main one i could think of… ik he gets on everyone’s nerves.

suguru geto - says “my bad” instead of “im sorry”

another personal one tbh. i hate hate hate when people do this especially if it’s something serious. i remember one time someone pushed me in the mud ( i didn’t fully go on, just my foot ) and i got mud all over my white shoes and they have the audacity to go, “my bad,” like yeah it is your bad lmao. anyways, suguru def does this often especially to shoko. i feel like he’s pretty clumsy and say if shoko’s studying and he knocks over a drink onto her books he’ll say “my bad” and not even attempt to help her clean it up. like dude at least say sorry or something idk ???

nanami kento - calls his dick anything but a dick

“my member” you are grown !!! say dick !!! he does it to be ‘classy’ but like, he is pushing 30 doing this, just say dick. i also think it’s a shame thing ? idk probably hanging out with stsg for most of his teen years rotted his brain so he hates hearing really nasty stuff but he won’t even say penis half the time. like it’s really not that serious nobody wants to call your dick a phallus ( it was also really hard to give him an ick ).

choso - using 🥺 / 🥹

oh BROTHERRRR this one pisses me off. i hate both of those emojis in general but especially when men do it, it’s cornball behavior. like aren’t you supposed to be fighting in wars ? stand up. but i don’t think he has any ill intentions at all, honestly just picks emojis that represent his mood often. however he definitely uses 😂 instead of 😭… sorry choso…

song : ick - lay bankz

[peterparkersnose]

Give In

pairing: Joel Miller x reader

word count: 2.3k

warnings: suicidal thoughts, pining possibly one sided, ANGST (just a large angst piece, i wanted some joel angst so I made it), description of depression, emotional dependency on a person, arguing, fluff sprinkled in, implied age gap not specified, reference to pregnancy, mentions of substance and alcohol abuse, joel is lowkey toxic and uses reader

a/n hi loves I wrote this after the first episode aired, so if anything contradicts anything in the future in this story that is why. also, i didnt know how to end it so im sorry if the ending is a bit choppy. happy last of us sunday!

summary Y/N has feelings for Joel that she can’t control anymore

Part 2 here

masterlist

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read time: 8 min 33 seconds

The harsh chill of the autumn afternoon swept your hair off your shoulders. The ration line was as long as ever, but seemed to be moving quickly. A stray dog barked as others murmured on the street. Staring down at your boots, you bit at your chapped lips.

“You’ve been avoiding me,”

His voice sent chills up your spine. He was behind you, must have slipped in line without the other person noticing. Of course now was the time he decided to confront you. And he wasn’t wrong.

Straightening your back, you turn towards him.

“Have I?” you asked, raising your eyebrows slightly. The line moved forward and so did you.

“Tess said you weren’t feeling well.”

She was partially right. It was the blatant lie you were telling the very few who were close to you. You were physically fine.

“I’m fine, Joel.” you said promptly, turning a cold shoulder to the older man.

“If you need any meds or anything…” he began. You knew Joel had anything you needed. Quite literally.

“Next!” The FEDRA soldier called, motioning for you to get in the final line. You gave Joel a tight lipped smile before disappearing in the crowd.

Back at your sad excuse for an apartment, you poked your fork at your stale meal. You tried to think about todays’s job but the thought of Joel Miller consumed you.

How his hands felt on your skin, how soft his hair could be, how much he respected you in private. Flashbacks of previous nights where he had snuck over and stayed with you burned in your brain.

You never thought the hookup would turn in to feelings. Especially in this world. Feelings you were sure he wouldn’t reciprocate. Joel wasn’t a very emotionally available man. And he had Tess- rumors of them being together had been going on for years. Sure, they deny it. But you see the way he looks at her sometimes. His eyes burn with the lust you want from him, but there staring at her.

Tess was friendly and all, you got along quite well with her in fact. Jobs worked with Tess usually went better than others. But the knowledge that she goes home to him every night almost ate you alive. You felt used every time you would watch her turn the alleyway to their apartment.

Roommates my ass.

It had been over a month since the last time you saw Joel.

He was right, you were avoiding him. Taking the jobs you knew he wouldn’t dare go by such as childcare. Taking a different route home to avoid any run ins. Leaving your lights off and sitting in the dark to possibly deter him away from your place. All your little queues worked.

And the pain grew day by day.

You layed in your mattress with your face buried in your pillow. It stopped smelling like him weeks ago, but you liked to pretend it still did.

You couldn’t live like this anymore.

Pills weren’t numbing enough. Alcohol wasn’t as fun as it used to be. The constant state of depression in this damned district was enough to make you want to end it.

But seeing him across the alleyway talking to a group of people or in the line for rations was enough to keep that tiny spark lit inside of you.

There wasn’t much else to look forward to in this world besides others. Living the same day your whole life is miserable without your spark of joy in it.

Sleep was close, you could feel it. Your thin blankets were just cutting it for the night. As the dreams began to dance in your head, you were awoken by a quiet knock on your door.

“For fucks sake,” you groaned, flipping over in bed. You ignored the knocks. They became more persistent.

The old doorknob then dropped to the floor, startling you awake. You didn’t even have to guess who it was. The door slowly creaked open as you heard him curse to himself.

“I’ll fix it later,” he sighed, picking it off your floor and placing it on your countertop. He pushed one of your folding chairs next to your table up against the door to keep it sturdy.

“So your just breaking into apartments now?” you snapped, sitting up right in bed. “I needed to see you.” he protested.

“I never knew Joel Miller to need anything.”

He sighed and rested against your countertop. “I need to know,”

“Know what?” you asked, wrapping a blanket around your exposed shoulders. A tank top wasn’t ideal to sleep in, in these conditions.

“What’s wrong.” he said bluntly. “I said there’s nothing wrong. What the hell are you doing walking around freely at night?” you yelled, realizing the time was way past midnight. The sounds of soldiers a few floors down outside your apartment began to yell. How did he move past them?

“You sick?” he asked in a more hushed tone, walking towards you. “Respiratory? Head pain? Joints? You pregnant?” he somewhat joked, looking over you in bed.

“Shut up.” you said coldly. “Can you please just go?”

You knew Joel wasn’t a good listener. “What is it?” he said sternly, sitting down next to your body in bed. He grabbed your wrist ever so slightly. Your pulse was shaking in his grasp.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

You looked at the other side of your apartment, out the window. Rain had began to slowly plague the window. Ignoring Joel’s touch, you watched as the few drops raced to the bottom of the window.

“After everything I’ve done for you?” Joel sighed, not letting go of you.

“Stop, please. J-just stop talking to me.” you said, lying through your teeth. He could sense the pain hiding behind those eyes. “I’m not leaving.” he protested.

“Look at me.”

You turned to face him. His eyes were locked on yours. A genuine worried look was on his face. He looked softer, nothing like you had ever seen before.

It was almost as if someone asked you if you were okay when you were very obviously not. Silent tears rolled down your face as you tried to catch your breathe.

The man who you couldn’t love was staring in to your soul. There was no way you ever could love him. He was too mean, too stern, too old, too angry for you. The two of you were polar opposites. But as the saying goes, ‘opposites attract’.

Joel was unsure on what to do. Tess never cried. Hell, you never cried. He racked his brain for something, just something to soothe you.

He offered out a hand. Against your better judgement you took it. Connecting his other hand to your cheek, he tried to wipe away the streak of tears silently leaving your eyes. He held you tightly in your bed, stroking your hair as your head quickly made contact with the crook of his neck.

“I wish I didn’t have these feelings,” you cried into his embrace. Joel was confused on what you were getting at, but he ignored it. He tried to shush you in a soothing way.

“No, please. I wish I didn’t have these feelings… but I do.”

Joel froze. “What?” he asked, holding you in place.

You pulled back and looked at him. It felt like the first time over again. “Look at me and tell me you don’t feel a thing.” you hiccupped.

“I…” Joel sighed, closing his eyes for a moment and letting a breathe of air go.

“Say it.” you demanded.

The silence in the room was deafening.

“I can’t.” Joel said quickly. He looked down at his knees on your mattress.

“I think you should go.” you sighed, laying back on your side and facing the opposite wall.

He listened. Finally, Joel caught a hint. The sound of him walking away made you long for him more than ever. But it was good. The feeling of him leaving, knowing you were right. Joel Miller wasn’t a man who could love. At least not anymore.

Your sudden pride stopped when you heard his boots thud against the floor. Then the all familiar zip of his jeans followed by the hit of him placing them on your wooden chair next to your bed.

He rested a hand on your thigh as he peeled up the blanket that was stuck to your legs. Slowly, he moved down next to you in the tiny space you were leaving him.

“You don’t listen.” you huffed, still not giving him enough space on the bed.

“When do I ever?” he chuckled, wrapping his arm around your waist.

Fuck it. You gave in.

You allowed his arm to move closer to the underside of your breasts. Scooting over in bed, you gave him more space for his legs to entwine with you. His boxer’s material rubbed against the back of your thigh. It smelt like him; Wet grass and expired generic soap scent had never smelt better.

Sleep kindly greeted you once you felt his breathing slow. Trying to match his, you fell into the deep sleep you had been yearning for, for what seemed like weeks.

-

The absence in the morning was startling.

You struggled to move, hoping that the previous night was just a horrifying dream. A sigh escaped from your lips when you saw his boots sitting against the wall where he placed them last night.

The clanking sound of tools made you turn. On the other side of your small studio apartment, there he sat at your doorframe attempting to fix your door handle.

The overcast sky stayed, but you could tell it was early morning by the chatter outside.

“Shit!” Joel hissed, grabbing his finger in pain. “Damn fucking…”

He looked up and noticed you watching him.

“You alright?” you asked, watching him in amusement as he attempted to fix your door.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, sucking the tip of his finger. “Haven’t fixed a door in a good twenty years.” he muttered, wiping off the excess blood on his already dirtied jeans.

“Go back to bed, It’s still early.” he suggested, going through the tiny tool kit he had given you as a previous gift.

“This is more entertaining than sleep,” you chuckled, placing your feet on the cold ground and getting out of bed. “You want any breakfast? I don’t know if I have anything good here but…”

“Nah. Tess’l be expecting me.”

The sheer thought of Tess waiting at their home for him was enough to ruin the whole night you had before.

Joel looked up to you after your lack of a response. He noticed the demeanor change in your face. “Everything okay?” he asked, turning back to the doorknob he was almost finished fixing.

“You seem to go sour every time I mention Tess.”

“I wonder why,” you muttered under your breathe, attempting to open a tuna can for breakfast. You tried not to dry heave as the scent of the old fish met your nose. Tuna was never a favorite meal, especially for breakfast. But, it’s all you had.

Joel pretended like he didn’t hear you, but he heard you loud and clear. “We have a run to do today. You understand that, right?”

A bitter ‘mhm’ came from your lips as you shook the prepackaged coffee in your hand before ripping off the seal.

Joel sighed and placed the screw driver down dramatically. Joel’s knees cracked as he got up from his position. “You always gotta fucking act jealous. Don’t you? Ruinin’ a nice morning.”

“Jealous?” you said, raising your voice.

“What the hell do you even want from me?” you scorned, on the brink of tears. He could see through you like glass. You hated to admit it, but he knew you like the back of his hand.

Joel wished he could shout out the answer, but his ego kept it in.

You froze with your back turned to him and set down the brittle coffee mug. “Your always leaving me to go to her…”

“Because we’re business partners, Y/N. Don’t you get it? Don’t you hate livin’ the same damn day over and over again? It’s why I come to see you.”

“Stop,” you whispered, now face to face with him. “Stop yelling. Please, it’s too fucking early to get into that shit.”

“Really? Tell me you don’t loose your mind living the same day, same drama for years!” he yelled. “Always you being jealous. Don’t you ever get sick of it?”

Anger consumed you. Proof that the two of you would never work. He’s just a bitter old man.

“You know I would give anything to leave this damn QZ! To live a normal life, not fucking be here.” you yelled, with a finger now pointed at his face. You were avoiding the original accusation. Jealousy.

“Tell me.” you said, with a quieter but angrier tone. “Am I really just your fuck toy?”

Joel stepped back for a moment, stunned at what you just said. Guilt seemed to wrack his nerves as the realization hit him.

You were in love with him.

“Is that what you think?” he asked, approaching you with a sorrowful more soft look. “What else am I supposed to think? You come here, use me, and leave and go back to her.”

The feeling of letting go of all that emotion felt healing. The sudden aftermath of realizing what you just had accused him of made you feel somewhat guilty.

“No,” he sighed, grabbing your hand. “That- no. Absolutely not Y/N.”

His other hand reached for your chin, and brought your face up to his gaze. You could feel his heat on your skin.

“Understand…” he began to say. “Understand what?” you whispered back. A sly smile came to his lips.

“Give in,” he whispered, dropping your hand and wrapping his around your waist.

You melted into his grasp as he kissed you. Joel hadn’t kissed anyone in years. The hesitation from him only brought out the dominance in you.

As the two of you mutually pulled away, you wanted nothing more as to be back where you were just seconds ago.

“Understand that it’s hard.” he said, still holding you close. “I…”

“I know.” you said, cutting off his words.

You were an anxious, sorrowful over-thinker and he was the bitter, closed off introvert.

“I’ll be back,” he said, with a slighter more chipper tone. “Tonight. We have to get this damn car battery and…”

“Stay safe,”

“I promise.” Joel said. He really did not want to leave you. The thought of the two of you spending today lazily in bed was very tempting.

“But please believe me Y/N when I say, you are and never have been just a ‘fuck toy’.”

He squeezed your hand once more and then dropped it. Silence filled the apartment after he left.

The thought of how you tasted haunted Joel Miller’s mind the whole day.

Part 2

tag list: @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @samanthacookieone @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25

[shady-lemur]

hi hi! saw your post asking abt a prompt or idea about abby and, uh, i had this dream... its weird and nasty and cliche so... be prepared☺️😚

so uhh modern au but basically abby and manny are roommates,reader is dating manny (oops) and abby cant find her car keys literally the day she promised she'd take the reader, manny, and OW*N (who shes dating btw. oops. again.) and while everyones outside by her car waiting for her to come with the keys shes like mm maybe manny has them i should check his room and when she checks like his drawers and she finds the keys but more importantly, she finds a picture of reader, kneeled on the bed, their bikini top covering one breast and the other is out with teeth marks on it😗their eyes all droopy and hazy as they look up at the camera, their mouth agape, lips wet with spit and cum☹️☹️☹️ and abbys like damn have i ever been straight??? and then manny yells for her to come downstairs and she jumps and drops the pic on the floor, and it slides under his bed and she cant reach it cause yk her arms are huge and they cant fit under the bed😪 and she comes downstairs and takes you all to the beach and when you arrive she notices that youre wearing the same bikini from that picture and shes RED when she notices it. one thing leads to another and she fucks you hard into the pillow when she comes home, and films you while you suck on her strap🤪 im SORRY THIS IS SO STUPID AND FILTHY

do not ever apologize ever again. about anything. i think i died while reading that and got reborn. CAUSE HELLO?? i want your brain. i hope i did this justice.. thank you so much for your request.

CW : cheating, strap-on use, a little bit a degrading, filming, cursing, tell me if i missed anything!

MDNI!

you fix your cute little sundress before knocking softly on your boyfriend’s door. you’d been dating for almost a year now and you’ve met his roommate a couple times before. it definitely took some getting used to, your boyfriend living with another girl. but after so much reassurance from him that she’s literally like his little sister, you finally chilled out. she’s super nice too!!

abby opens the door in some shorts and an open hawaiian shirt, showing off her swimsuit top and her abs. you try to go stare too much at them. you’d totally have to ask her for her workout routine later! yeah.. you were only staring because you wanted abs like that. not because you wanted to be-

abby gives you a smile and opens the door wider, “cmon in. how have you been?” you smile at her and give her a hug when you’re inside. just an innocent one!! and the kiss you planted in her cheek was just a greeting between you girls of course!!

“i’ve been okay, work has been kicking my ass. but i’m excited to get to go to the beach! i’ve only been there twice this summer!” you frown and abby laughs. “you can set your bag on the counter next to the cooler. we’ll be leaving when owen gets here.” you nod at her and set your stuff down before making your way to your boyfriend’s room. you knock a few times before he opens the door.

“y/n, mi amor.” manny smiles at you and you smile back before wrapping your arms around his neck. “hi! are you ready to go?”

he nods, “of course. i got towels, sunscreen, and beach chairs. abby was in charge of snacks and drinks..” you give him a quick peck on the lips and smile up at him, messing with his hair. “i’m so excited! i’m so glad abby and her boyfriend are coming. she’s really nice.”

manny gives your ass a nice squeeze through your sundress and kisses you again, longer than before. “yeah yeah. it sounds like you love her more than you love me at this point.” he laughs.

you give him a look and rolls your eyes playfully. “oh my god manny. maybe i do.” you giggle as he lifts you up and carries you over to his bed, setting you in his lap. he hums and you lean in for another kiss. you whimper slightly as he pulls you closer to him and-

there’s a knock at his bedroom door.

“hey guys! we’re taking my car right? can you help me and owen take everything to the car?”

you remove your lips from manny’s and perk up at the voice. manny groans playfully and mumbles something about and cock block before answering, “sure.”

you get off of him and fix your short dress before opening his door. you both follow abby into the kitchen to gather your beach stuff and head to the parking garage.

“ah shit. i forgot my key.” abby moans at the inconvenience. you all decided to take her car because it was the biggest, and you didn’t want to have to take two cars. owen offers to go up and get them but abby refuses.

“i don’t even know where to tell you to look. i’ll be quick.” she puts down the cooler and bag she was holding and jogs back to where you came from.

————————————————————————-

abby unlocks her apartment door and looks in the entryway first. why the hell aren’t her keys in the key bowl? she always remembers to put them in the key bowl!! then she looks in the kitchen, then the living room, then her room.

oh wait.

manny borrowed her car when he was picking up a new bed for his dad! abby goes to manny’s room to begin the hunt.

first she looks on his dresser, then on his nightstand, then she opens the drawer to his nightstand. nothing too out of the ordinary. condoms, some pain killers, HER KEYS!! oh. something else catches her eye.

it’s a polaroid, of you. abby eyes widen and she picks it up to get a better look.

“shit.”

it’s almost like you’re looking right at her. you’re lazy, fucked out expression. you’re normally big, happy eyes, now dark and droopy, dripping with lust as you look up at the camera. you’re mouth open as your tongue sticks out, showing off the mess all over you. you looked like such a slut with cum all over your face, abby’s breath picks up when she notices the pool of it on your tongue. your bright red bikini top, basically falling off. it’s only on one of your tits, the other being shown off to the camera in all its glory.

and you’re fucking smile. the way your lips curl, showing how much you’re enjoying yourself. it made abby let out a whine as she feels a pool of slick forming in her swimsuit. she wasn’t even sure she liked guys anymore. owen? who the fuck is owen..? definitely not her boyfriend of 3 years!!

she’s so entranced by the photo, how can someone so sweet be so fucking dirty!? it makes her think about all the times she’s noticed your eyes drift down to her stomach or to her lips when she’s talking. the way you always talk about how strong she is. the way you always greeted her with a kiss on the cheek and a hug. you really were a slut!!

just then abby’s phone starts to ring. scaring the absolute hell out of her because lev changed her ringtone to the robot one. she drops the photo and pulls out her phone. oh yeah, she has a boyfriend..!

“hey. sorry i just found the keys. i’ll be down in a sec.” she talks fast, trying to mask her shaky breath! owen hums through the phone and laughs. “slow down. are you okay?”

“yeah i fine. i’m on my way down now! bye!” she hangs up before he can say “i love you.”

abby looks down at the floor only to realize that the picture has slid under the bed. just her fucking luck! first she realizes she’s attracted to her best friend’s girlfriend because of a picture and then she drops said picture under the bed?

she gets down on her stomach trying to find it, reaching her arms as far under as she can. it’s too far gone. she tries to slide herself under the bed but she damn near gets her shoulders stuck because they’re so big!

“fuck it. i was never even here.” she runs out of the room with her keys in hand and speed walks back down to the parking garage, trying to calm herself down the whole way there.

————————————————————————-

“can i please sit up front with abby? you guys can have.. guy talk.. in the back.” you ask manny, not even sparing a glance to owen. you don’t like owen. how could someone like abby be with someone like…. him…

owen shrugs and manny gives you a nod and a kiss behind climbing into the back. you clap excitedly and get into the front seat, smiling happily at abby, who was already seated in the drivers seat. “i hope you don’t mind i switched seats with owen.. i think i’d go deaf if i had to hear anymore about last night’s baseball game..”

abby laughs, avoiding eye contact with you, and grips the steering wheel a little bit tighter. “yeah that’s great. you can have aux if you want it.” you thank her and connect your phone. you start to play ‘moonlight’ by kali uchies once owen and manny are both in the car and abby starts to pull out of her parking space.

abby is sweating the whole 30 minute drive. she swears you were lifting the skirt of your sundress higher every so often ON PURPOSE. and when you sang along to the songs you played, laughing at your mistakes. there’s definitely a possibility abby came in her pants…

you on the other hand are sad. maybe you did wanna show off a little bit… what’s the harm in showing a really hot girl your thighs???????? but she didn’t look at you the whole ride there, didn’t laugh at anything you said, and didn’t sing along to any of the songs that she knew. what the hell?

you squeal when you see the water. “ahh!! we’re here!! i’m so fucking excited.” abby is the first one out of the car.. what a bitch! then manny gets out so he can hurry and open your door for you. “my love,” you give him a small smile and thank him before going back to the trunk to get some stuff.

“i’ll go find us a good spot!!” you call out, running into the sand once you grab a couple bags, manny gives you a thumbs up and a ‘be careful!’ before you run out of earshot.

abby gets the cooler as manny and owen start following slowly behind you. she can still hear their conversation though.

“she’s definitely high energy. bet that’s nice for some situations.” owen laughs. manny scoffs.

“get your mind out of the gutter man.”

so apparently everyone on this little beach trip thinks about having sex with you 🙂. owen’s comment makes abby sick, not because it’s her boyfriend making a joke like that about another girl though.

abby closes her trunk and catches up with them, “accidentally” bumping into owen’s shoulder as she passes right by them. when she finally makes it to where you set up a few towels and beach chairs she nearly has a heart attack. you smile at her and do a little spin. “do you like my bikini? i’ve only worn it twice.”

abby’s eyes bore into your red bikini. the same red bikini she saw when she saw you covered in cum earlier today…. and you had no fucking idea she knew. your face grows concerned when her face almost matches the color of your bikini top!

“abby? are you okay? is it too hot?” you worry, running over to her to feel her forehead and lead her to a beach chair. you get her a water from the cooler she had set down as she silently stares at you. you tilt your head at her and smile.

she shakes her head and finally meets your eyes. “yeah, fuck, sorry. i’m fine.”

your smile widens and you give a sigh of relief.

“you had me worried for a second!”

she laughs nervously and scratches her neck. “i like the color of your swimsuit..”

you look at her and your eyes sparkle. “really?! i was a little nervous about it because usually i’d go for black but they were out of these bottoms in my size in black and i really like the red so it was like a sign for the universe. ty eyes had other bottoms in black but these ones made my ass look better, don’t you think so?” you question, turning around to show her your backside. and she’s bright as a tomato again. jesus christ.

owen and manny finally make it, setting everything else up. you sit next to abby and look over at her. “are you gonna take your shorts off?”

she looks over at you and can’t even get out a full sentence. “i- um, i’m gonna- yeah.” she finally coughs out. you look at her for second and resist the urge to smile at her stuttering. you don’t take your eyes off her while she takes her shirt and shorts off, leaving her in a black two piece.

you try to ignore your face getting hot. it’s just because she’s got such a nice body, you need her workout routine…!

“can you put sunscreen on my back for me? manny never rubs it in the full way.” you giggle as manny playfully scoffs and rolls his eyes, cracking open a beer and taking a seat in a beach chair next to owen.

abby clears her throat and she nods awkwardly. she grabs the lotion bottle and lets out a shaky breath when you moan quietly at the feeling of the cold sunscreen. “i can get yours next if you want. we don’t want you burning!”

she lets out a quiet ‘yeah, thanks’ while she finishing rubbing the lotion in. when you tell her to ‘get the skin under my bikini too!’ she almost fucking combusts. the way her hands slide under your swimsuit top makes her wanna take it off you and-

“thanks abby!! turn around now and i’ll get yours.” you smile at her and grab the bottle, happy to help her. abby swears she saw jesus when your hands started massaging the sunscreen into her skin. she has to stop herself from whimpering when your manicured nails slightly scratch her back.

once you’re done you happily jump up from the towel you two were sitting on and smile at everyone (except owen!) “i’m going to the water! i need to cool off!” manny nods at you and takes a swig from his drink, “i’ll be down soon.”

you give him a nod. “if anyone sees any cool shells please please please save them for me!!” you yell while running towards the ocean.

————————————————————————-

abby was tasked with going to pick up some hoagies from a near by shop, of course you had to tag along. perfect bonding time!!

so here you are, sitting happily in the passengers seat while abby taps her fingers against her steering wheel, making her own little song. it was suppose to be curbside pickup but you’ve been waiting for 10 minute now! you look over at abby and smile playfully, “abby your arms are so strong. how many days a week do you go to the gym?”

abby’s face heats up instantly and she looks over at you. “um- like.. 5 days a- a week.” you tilt your head at her shyness. “is everything okay? you’ve been so embarrassed around me like all day..” you frown, getting closer to her. that just makes everything worse though because now abby has a perfect view of your boobs, only covered by that fucking red bikini.

abby gulps and looks away from you. then she laughs.. she laughs at you!! “you’re doing this on purpose.” you furrow your eyebrows and get closer, “what am i doing..?”

abby turns to look at you, your face only inches away from hers. she studies the way your eyebrows crease and your lips make a small pout. you instinctively lean closer and your chest heaves as you feel her hot breath on your lips. you just look at each other for a second before leaning in closer, her lips coming closer to yours before a knock at her window breaks you out of your trance.

abby quickly pulls away and turns to see a teenage boy holding a paper bag full of food awkwardly. you silently roll your eyes and look back down at your lap. fucking cockblock.

abby rolls down her window, takes the food, says thank you, gives him a very generous tip (even tho she already tipped on the app), and drives away.

you both sit in silence for the ride back to the beach.

————————————————————————-

you wanted to stay until sunset, but of course owen had to be home so he could get to bed on time for work :((( what a loser!! so now you were silently sitting in the backseat listening to some boring ass music that owen picked.

abby hasn’t said a word more than she had to to you since the car situation. it was making you pissed, i mean so what it’s a little awkward. you’re still at the beach together!! it’s not like she could just ignore you for the rest of you and manny’s relationship. it was clearly a mistake, you would be okay forgetting about it totally if she wanted you to.

once she’s pulled into her spot in the parking garage she wordlessly gets out to start taking the bags out of the trunk. everyone else gets out to follow her lead. when everything has been brought up to their apartment manny gives you a kiss and smiles. “me and owen are going to go for some beers. are you going home tonight?”

you smile back at him, “um, i think so. i might hang out with abby a little bit before i go though.”

he nods and gives you another kiss on the forehead before owen gets his car keys and says goodbye to abby and you. they leave and you turn to the blonde.

“can you please stop avoiding me?” you frown at her, watching as her eyes avoid your face and trail down to the red straps poking out of your dress.

“i’m not.”

you scoff and walk closer to her. “abby we can just forget it happened. i don’t wanna start shit and i wanna be your friend.” abby looks up to meet your eyes, there’s an intensity in her eyes that wasn’t there before. she walks closer to you, making you backup onto a wall. your hand instinctively goes to her arm.

“you’re a fucking tease. the kisses on the cheek? the hugs? showing me how your ass looks in your swimsuit? you know what you’re doing.”

you look up at her nervously. “abby.. i-“

“and that fucking swimsuit. shit..” she looks at you and you try to hide your smile when her hand goes to your neck. you lean in slightly, leaving it up to her to connect your lips.

and she does.

she roughly crashes her lips into yours, the feeling of desperation evident in the way her lips move against hers. you’re just as needy, whining as you bring your hands up to pull her closer by her shirt. you feel her leg slip in between yours and gasp when her knee bumps your clothes clit.

you intertwine your fingers into her hair, pulling back to break the kiss. “shit abby..”

she smiles at you as you buck your hips onto her knee. “you want this baby?” she whispers, bringing her lips down to press kisses against your neck. you look at her and nod. she laughs.

“tell me how bad you want it. beg for it baby.”

you look down at her as her kisses move lower and she moves her knee from between your legs. you whimper at the feeling of her lips against your skin. “i want you so bad. i need you abs.. please.”

abby lets out a shaky breath and kisses your collarbone before picking you up and carrying you to her room. you’d never been in there before. a few posters of soccer players, a signed baseball on her huge bookshelf, lots of plants.

she puts you down on her bed and goes to open her closet. “take your dress off for me and wait. don’t take off the fucking bikini.”

you nod and hun at her request, quickly doing what she told you to do. you sit in the middle of her bed and watch as she strips, grabbing her purple strap and sliding it up her legs. the sight of her thigh muscles makes your cunt squeeze.

you could probably cum right then and there from looking at her. “abby pleasee..” you whine. she makes her way back to the bed, laughing at your neediness. she makes you sit up against the headboard as she goes back to kisses your chest, bringing her hands to fondle with your tits through your red bikini. “shit.. ‘so pretty.”

she looks up at you as she kisses the exposed skin. “what do you want first baby?”

you bring your hands to her hair and try to talk clearly through shaky breaths. “i wan- want your fingers please abs..” she smiles at you and kisses your lips again before going to untie your swimsuit bottoms. “shit. i’ve barely done anything..” she says in awe when your wet cunt is uncovered for her.

you cover your face in embarrassment but she doesn’t like you. how dare you cover your pretty face :(..

you gaps when her cool finger makes contact with your warm clit, rubbing experimental circles on it. her smile grows when you start to quietly moan. you bring your hand up to cover your mouth but she shakes her head. “none of that angel.. i wanna hear you.”

you whine and she plunges two of her fingers into your pussy. she can’t decide if she likes watching your face or cunt more!! “aww shit angel. so tight..” you move one your hands from her hair to tease your nipple through your bikini top. your moans start to rise in volume when she starts to thrust her fingers and rub your clit.

“fuck.. abby!” you moan out, scratching her scalp with your acrylics. “don’t stop..”

that eggs her on a lot more, making her start to kiss your stomach, biting and sucking your skin deliciously. your legs start to shake when she speeds up her movements. “abs! oh my god i’m gonna cum..”

she looks up at your eyes and winks, almost playfully, “go ahead babe. please.”

that’s your breaking point, you see white as the knot breaks in your stomach.your chest heaves as abby fucks you through it.

“shit princess. so perfect.” she brings her fingers up to her mouth so you watch as she licks them clean. you smash your lips into hers the moment she satisfied with the amount of your cum she got off her fingers. she moans beautifully into the kiss as you pull her closer. after a few seconds she breaks it off.

“do you want more angel? you wanna get my cock ready for you?”

you nod, batting your eyelash at her as she moves to be sitting against the headboard. you crawl over to sit inbetween her open legs. abby shudders at the sight of your puffy lips and red swimsuit top. you were gonna be the death of her.

“go ahead baby. you know what to do.”

you move down and smile at her before licking up her strap, keeping eye contact when you take the tip into your mouth. abby grabs the back of your head by your hair to help you take it all in your mouth. “shit angel. so fucking good..”

you look at her facial expressions as you messily start to bob your head up and down to take her cock down your throat. if you didn’t know any better you’d think she was feeling everything you were doing with the way her face was contorting.

“fuck. look at you go baby.. wish i could watch you all day.”

you look at her and let her strap go so you can give her a sultry smile. “you could.. get your phone abs.”

she thinks she just fell in love with you on the spot.

she gets her phone from her night stand before you start to suck her strap again, making sure to give her a good look at your cleavage too.

abby brings her hand back to the back of your hand to fuck your throat, she throws her head back when you moan at the feeling. the harness is bumping her clit so nicely. “shit angel.. wish i could feel your pretty lips.”

you look up at the camera and bat your lashes, moving your body so the camera can capture your arched back and bare ass. abby smiles at you, “such a fucking whore. so perfect for the camera.” she moves her free hand down to caress your skin before moving it back to your hair and fucking to into your mouth even harder. abby could cum just from your cries when the strap starts to hit your throat every thrust. but with the harness hitting her cunt so nicely and your perfect body in front of her it was all too much.

“shit! i’m gonna cum..”

you look up at her, your eyes welling with tears from the rough pace she’s set and she’s done for. her pretty moans picking up on the video as you help her through her orgasm. you’d definitely need to text her for the video later!!

abby breaths heavily and looks at you as you give her fake cock one last kiss and sit up to get closer to her. you close the space between the two of you and connect your lips with hers. she makes sure her camera gets the nasty kiss too before stopping the video and throwing the phone somewhere.

“shit princess, you’re so fucking hot.” abby breaths out as you straddle her lap, lightly jumping her strap as you wrap your arms around her neck and kiss her sloppily.

“i need more abs.. please.” you look at her and she gives you a playful smile. “only since you asked so nicely.” you use your hands to explore her chest, feeling her muscles and making your way to her bare nipples.

“let me take that fucking bikini off first.”

you giggle and lift your arms enough for her to untie the back and let the red material fall from your shoulders, leaving you completely bare for her. “so beautiful. so fucking beautiful.” she brings her lips down to suck one of your nipples, using her hand to pinch the other one. you whine at her and arch your back, making you press against her beautifully.

“you ready for my dick baby?” you nod at her and smile when she taps your ass, signaling you to get up. you climb of of her and sit patiently for her next orders. “get on all fours. face the bed frame babe.” she tells you and you follow her instruction happily. she gets behind you and fondles with your ass a bit before letting her fingers slide through your slick. “so fucking wet.. what a slut.”

your cunt clenches at the mean word. “only for you..” she hums and finally lets the tip of her cock slide into you. you moan at the intrusion.

“fuck. so tight.”

you have a hard time calming down as she tries to push herself deeper, you grip onto the pillow in front of you. her pillow.

once she’s fully in she gives you a second to adjust, not moving until you give her the go ahead. but once you do.. oh my god it’s over for you. her pace is fucking brutal, her hands gripping your waist to help you move her hips.

“abby! oh my god!”

the sound of your sticky cunt against her harness, the claps of your hips against hers, and your moans filled the room before the front door opening slows your movements. well not yours, you didn’t even hear it over the sound of your own pleasure. but abby did.

a few seconds later there’s a knock at abby’s bedroom door and she starts to fuck into you faster, making your eyes go wide with panic as you look back at her smirking face.

“abby? i’m home. is y/n still here?”

you try to be quiet but you just can’t, the way her cock is hitting the spongy spot inside of you so perfectly makes your eyes roll. you decide to stuff your face into her pillow as a lady resort.

“no! she left a couple minutes ago.”

you hear your boyfriend hum and walk away, you hear his bedroom door shut a few seconds later.

abby leans down to whisper in your ear. “what a dirty girl. screaming my name while your boyfriend unlocks the door huh?”

you moan her name and a few ‘please’s and ‘yes’s in return. you can’t even try to say anything else. your hands grip onto the sheets as all your sounds get muffled by her pillow. abby lets out an airy laugh.

her hand comes down to rub your clit as you sob, everything was so overstimulating. her fast pace, the friction on your clit, her shaky breaths, and your fucking boyfriend in the other room.

“gotta be quiet baby.” abby shushes you and you shake your head. “‘can’t..”

your orgasm crashes into you fast, you can’t even warn abby before your seeing white. it just keeps going too.. abby slows down as she watches in awe. you fucking squirted on her cock.

“shit angel..” abby breathes out as you come down from your high. your eyes widen once you realize what you did. “fuck.. i’m so sorry. i didn’t even know i could do-“

“shh, it was so fucking hot.” abby says as she pulls out and lets you collapse on her bed. you laugh tiredly at her and yawn.

abby gets up and takes her strap off. “you can fall asleep after i change my sheets, i don’t want you sleeping in any bodily fluids..”

you laugh harder and turn to lay on your back so you can look at her. “fine.. can i use your shower really quick while you do?”

she nods and helps you off the bed so you can walk into her personal bathroom. “there’s towels in the cupboard. you can use any shit that’s in there.”

————————————————————————-

after your shower you walk out to abby sitting in her bed with snacks and a comfy hoodie on. there’s a pile of clothes on the corner of the bed and new bedspread. “those clothes are for you.”

you nod and thank her before getting changed and climbing into bed with her, melting into her when she wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you closer. “i though we could watch a movie or something.. we can’t risk sneaking you out until tomorrow morning when manny leaves for work.”

you hum and press a kiss on her cheek. “sounds good..” you say tiredly. abby smiles at you and rubs shapes into your arm as you fall asleep during the movie you picked.

everything would be hell tomorrow, you and abby have gotten yourselves into some deep shit..

but that was for tomorrow abby, for now she was happy holding you close and listening to the sound of your breaths.

[b0xerdancer-writes]

It Wasn't Supposed To Happen Like This Part 3

Eris x Rhy's Sister! Reader

Summary: Eris used to be attached at the hip to Rhysand’s younger sister. Now that he has taken over as High Lord of the Autumn Court, his father’s old high table have been pressuring him to take a wife, he comes up with the brilliant lie that hes already courting someone and has been for several years now. Eris asks Rhysand’s little sister, the best way to get away with it and make it believable, to fake court her.

Warnings: Elain and Mor slander (I love Mor but it’s a plot point for later on I promise!), cussing 18+, some nsfw lean but no sex scenes yet, alcohol.

Trope/Prompt: Fake Dating

Word Count: 4,941

Notes: Part 3 is here, bit of a shorter chapter but im happy with where I left it off at, lots of Lucien and Eris bonding this chapter. Enjoy sweet affectionate drunk Eris. Not proofread at all. I posted this on my break. Posted on wrong account earlier oops!

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“You promised me we could go dance when I got back.” Happily intoxicated and finally relaxed, he wrapped his arms around me surrounding me with his scent of firewood and cinnamon. 

Lucien gave me an apologetic look from over Eris’s shoulder, as Eris nuzzled into my neck and hummed sweetly. A blush crept to my face at the overly affectionate display from the eldest Vanserra brother. His breath fanned across my collarbone as purred against me and I couldn’t help but feel an ache in my chest wishing for this to be a regular thing that I got to experience, but I was drawn from my spot as the forms of Azriel and Rhys talking with the other reentered Rita’s. I tapped Eris lightly on the shoulder and he made a hum of acknowledgement, his honey amber eyes seeking out my own  as he moved to pull me towards the floor. 

Just as I moved to stand myself I felt a squeeze of my hand from Mor, who was giving me a look that was a mix of sympathetic and apologetic.

 “I..,” she looked down into her lap where her other hand rested. “I never meant to lie, and I never meant for it to get so out of control like it is now. I, just, I’m sorry. I mean it. For what happened.”

I gave her a soft smile and squeezed back, biting back any bitter remarks that echoed in my brain after all these years of holding contempt against her. “Hey, no worries. We all have to do and say things to get by.”

She smiled softly back at me and moved her hand from mine into her lap as she let Eris pull me to the dance floor. She took a sip of wine and her shoulders deflated as Azriel and Rhys slid into the booth with her. Lucien had moved to the bar talking with the bartender there, though I couldn't see if he was ordering another drink or not. 

Eris pulled me close to him away from the prying eyes of the inner circle as he put his hands around my waist and tucked me into his chest, a slight rumble echoing there that I could only feel through the music.  The music was a slower one then what normally came from the live bands that rotated through, and Eris used it to his advantage as he leaned down to whisper in my ear, a small tilt of curiosity in his voice.

He brought my wrist up to his lips and pressed them to the small tattoo barely bigger than a fingernail. “What kinda deal did you make with her, hmm?” 

I moved to cup his face with the same hand he kissed. “You're too far gone to understand the significance of what it means right now if I told you.” I smiled softly, moving to pull him with the music as it began picking up into a faster beat, a new song.

He raised a brow at me with a cocky, sarcastic, yet relaxed look on his face. Mischief danced in his eyes, I’d never get used to how good that looked on him.

“I’m sure even in my haze I’ll understand.” He smirked as he pulled me tight against him, a move that was influenced by a mix of the music and trying to lure me into giving him what he wants; A move I knew all too well, that managed to bring me to my knees everytime.

I sighed as I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck and pulled him down so he could hear me over the pounding music. “It was a deal to get her to stop slandering you so much, I didn;t even think it was going to be a deal. Think she made it so I would understand how much she was sorry for everything she did.”

His eyes twinkled, as a smile bloomed on his face that made him practically glow. He cupped my face with both hands, eyes locking with mine. “You stood up for me again? Made a whole bargain just so I wouldn’t be slandered?”

I nodded and he purred loud enough I could hear it even with the blaring music. My heart skipped a beat as he dropped my face and pressed my body into his, leaning down to whisper into my ear.

“Darling,” he mused “I will never be able to repay you for all the favors you do for me. Thank you.” He pressed a kiss to my temple before he spun me around and pressed my back against his chest with a smirk.

“Plus, when you defended me against Azriel’s words earlier it was pretty hot little fox~.” He purred into my ear, blush crept into my cheeks and I spun out of his hold. 

He’s just drunk. There was no meaning behind his words really, just trying to get a rise out of me. “Get it together Eris, quit playing these games of yours.” I rolled my eyes and he let out a childish giggle.

“Okay, Okay fine. You win.” He surrendered but the mischief in his eyes wasn't gone.

He took my hand in his and spun me into him grabbing at my hands to lift me into his arms, my legs instinctively wrapped around his hips. He smiled wickedly at me, cheers erupted around us as the song came to a dramatic close. My eyes scanned the crowd behind Eris, everyone must have been watching us dance, he had managed to pull me into the center of the floor without me realizing. 

He smirked at me and I leaned in to whisper into his ear. “Sly fox.”  

His hand that supported my weight on my ass was a searing heat against me though he wasnt using any of his power. I jumped from his grasp to pull him into a quick bow. I was going to need several more drinks if this was how the night was going to proceed, sly remarks and lingering touches all masked under the influence of alcohol. 

Song after song played and we let eachother lose ourselves in the others' touches and remarks. Fuck it, if this was temporary I was bound and fucking determined to enjoy what attention like this I could get from my mate, even if he didn’t know that little fact he seemed to be enjoying it just as much as I was. Eventually as the night grew later I felt Rhys’s claws against my shields and I greeted him with a grumble for interrupting.

“Heading home, Feyre is starting to miss Nyx. Have fun, but not too much fun. Sorry for earlier I should have stepped in, I know you wouldn’t have let anyone talk about Feyre like that in my absence.” I felt his power rub against my conscience apologetically, it felt sad and remorseful.

“Have a goodnight Rhys, tell Feyre night for me too.” I laughed softly. “Don’t worry Rhys, I'll be good. I wont say it’s okay cause its not and your right but I’ll forgive you brother. I love you, have a goodnight.”

“I will, love you too.” He slipped out of my thoughts with an affectionate caress and my shields slid back into place.

As I returned my attention to Eris he was pouting, brows furrowed as he looked into my eyes. “What’s wrong Eris?” 

He let out a huff like a child throwing a tantrum. “Tell Rhys to leave you alone, it's us time.” 

I smiled and wanted to laugh at his childish behavior but bit it back as I smoothed out his hair. “Don’t worry you poor thing, he's gone now, he was just apologizing and saying good night.”

He pouted further when I called him a poor thing and it made me smile softly, a warmth blooming in my chest, but once he noticed my full attention was back on him he perked up. We danced for a while longer till the alcohol seemed to lessen from his system and he deflated as he held me close. 

“I have to go back to Autumn soon.” He sighed, dropping his forehead to my shoulder. 

I couldn’t stand seeing him upset. “Welcome back to the land of the coherent.” I joked trying to cheer him up and I felt him smile against me.

“Thank you, I mean it. You always put me first and I’ll never be able to repay you for all of it.” He mumbled into my shoulder.

I rubbed at his shoulders as he leaned against me for a moment before I began pulling him off the dance floor. “I gotta close out our tab but then we can go relax for a bit before you have to leave, okay?”

He nodded, eyes not glimmering nearly as much as they had been and my heart ached for him. I pulled him with me to the bar, the tender busy making drinks told us it would be a minute before he could get to us. Eris bid his time wrapping his arms around my waist and buried his face in between my shoulders. I held his hands that were firmly clasped around me with one of mine as I finally closed our tab out. He growled under his breath when I made him release me so we could leave the bar and I swatted his hand softly with a giggle. 

“You big teddy bear, we do have to leave the bar you know? You wanna go to the house of the wind? Or I actually share an apartment with Lucien in the city we can go there?” I crooned at him and felt him giggle into my shoulder.

“-partment” He cut himself off as he mumbled into my back.

“Wanna winnow or walk?” I rubbed at his forearm softly connecting the freckles that littered his skin.

“Walk, I don't know if I can winnow without getting sick.” He looked up from my shoulder, only his eyes showing over my shoulder. The gold and orange flecks in his amber eyes illuminated by the faelight signs behind the bar advertising the different brands they carried.

My breath caught in my throat as I entwined my hand with his and led him from the bar. He grumbled under his breath as I stepped out of his grasp. “I was comfy.”

I had to fight a giggle. “And I promise you, you can be comfy again when we get to the apartment.” 

He mumbled a fine and moved to step in front of me so he could hold the door open for me to pass through. “Fine. I guess that's an acceptable promise then.”

I smiled up at him as I passed and turned around to offer my hand out to him again. A smile crept onto his face but exhaustion was present in his eyes as he entangled his hand in mine. 

The walk to the apartment was slow, purposely though, so Eris could postpone having to put that mask back on and return to his court. It would probably be a week till I saw him again, a week for him that would be full of having to strategically put on a mask around his fathers court till he could replace them and build it the way he wanted to.

I felt a tug on my hand as Eris stopped to look out at the mountaintops, where a single shooting star fell and disappeared behind them. 

He looked over at me and a soft barely there smile graced his features. “You make a wish?” 

I would only ever wish for one thing, felt like  if I asked for more then it would be too greedy of me, especially when the mother and the cauldron couldn't even grant me my single wish. 

I nodded in response and the softest smile graced his features and his entire body seemed to relax. “So did I.”

I wanted to ask what he wished for but knew there was the superstition about if you told what your wish was that it wouldn’t come true, so I left the question unasked. He took a step back to my side and motioned to the sidewalk ahead of us.

“Ready whenever you are.” He looked down on me and the shop lights caught his eyes making them flicker like fire.

Fuck I wanted to kiss him here and now, but if I did I put everything on the table. I couldn’t lose this so I opted to push the feeling down and it felt like I was going to suffocate as I pulled him towards the apartment again. The rest of the walk was quiet Eris falling into line beside me. Once we made it to the apartment I led him up the stairs to see no lights on, Lucien must still be out then I reasoned. 

I pushed the door open, the wards clicking to life and unlocking at my presence. Inside was decorated in a mix of autumn and night colors, mine and Lucien’s safe haven here. The couch was large enough to fit both me, Lucien and one other person, the wood frame was a dark almost black color and the fabric that lined it a deep reddish orange that had reminded me of eris’s hair when we picked it out. A large blanket made of fur was thrown across the back of it, in case me or Lucien passed out there, on one of the 2 throw pillows it came with. Lucien had picked out a reading chair that was a deep emerald green that he’d tucked into a corner by a bookshelf, I knew he picked the color because it reminded him of Tamlin and the Spring Court but said nothing to him. He had a similar blanket to the one on the couch folded on the ottoman that matched the chair, the novel Lucien had been reading before he left for his mission sat bookmarked on top of the blanket. 

Plants and candles littered the space, nicknacks reminiscent of Spring and autumn sat on nearly every shelf.  A small coffee table separated the couch from the fireplace, on it my own books sat, one a precursor to the one Lucien had been reading and the other a gift from my father when I was younger that talked about constellations and astronomy. As I led Eris inside I could see his eyes sparkle and watched his shoulders completely deflate as he stepped over the boundary, I closed the door behind him and the wards locked into place again. 

Eris looked around a second before he found himself standing in front of the fireplace. He squatted down and sparked the fire to life before he stood back up and spotted a small wooden carved figure of a fox sitting regally, it had scratches and tiny dents in the soft wood but it was after all over 500 years old. Eris picked it up and turned it over, his eyes found mine and he looked like he was going to start crying.

“You still have this?” His voice cracked. Fuck.

I nodded. “Of course I do, it was the first gift you ever gave me.”

He had carved that fox for me by the edge of the pond the next time we had visited, it had become our regular spot to go when our fathers were meeting.

He set it back into its spot and wiped his eyes where tears had begun to bubble. I moved to sit on the couch and he took a few shaky steps forward before he dropped to his knees and buried his face in my lap, tears spilling from his eyes. Fuck this was so similar to the day he had been told he was to be engaged to Mor. 

I entwined my fingers in his hair, trying to sooth him softly but my own tears were beginning to line my eyes. We sat and he cried in my lap for an hour before he began falling asleep where he sat on the floor with his head on my knees. I couldn’t begin to comprehend why me still having that fox caused him to break like that, I wanted to ask but knew if I pried it would probably cause more pain. Somewhere the voice in my head answered me with the thought “because it shows you actually care. That you've always been there and always will be.”

I noticed his breathing had slowed, only catching here or there and I moved a stray hair behind his ear and he looked up at me, his sorrow filled eyes finding mine.

“You aren’t going back tonight, are you? It's awfully late and I wouldn’t want you to get sick from winnowing.” My voice was barely audible but he shook his head and sniffled softly.

“Then let's go get you into some comfy clothes, yeah?” He nodded and leaned back onto his knees to let me stand.

As I stood I ran my fingers through his hair and he closed his eyes to lean into my touch. Mother save me, even after crying for so long he still managed to look so pretty. I extended my hand out to him and he placed his in mine gently, as he stood his knees popped and he cringed; he had spared them no mercy with the force he collapsed onto them with earlier.

I led him to Lucien’s room, the two had to be a similar size I gathered based on what it looked like when they stood beside each other earlier. An old wooden dresser was tucked into the corner of the younger male’s room and I led eris to sit on the bed as I scrounged through the drawers till I found a pair of sleep pants. I pulled a loose white sleep shirt from the closet and passed them to Eris. 

“Go ahead and change, I’m going to slip into some comfy clothes of my own. My rooms right across the hall, when you are done just head to the living room. I’ll make us some tea and we can relax. Okay?” he just nodded as he looked at the clothes and I slipped out of the room, closing the door and stepping into my own room. 

I pulled a wine, almost maroon color set of satin pajama set, a tank top and pair of shorts, from my own dresser; quick to change into them I wrapped a matching sleep robe over my shoulders and slipped back out into the hallway. I could see Eris’s shadow on the wall of the hallway, the events of the day catching up to me as I processed everything now that I finally had a moment to breathe softly. I stepped into the kitchen, making us a pot of chamomile tea, drizzling the slightest bit of honey into our cups. 

Eris looked at me with the saddest smile as I handed him the cup and he took a sip of it. I put my own cup on the coffee table Eris following suit as he swallowed; he scooted a few inches down before he laid down on the couch, his head on my lap. My fingers found his hair as I watched the fire flicker in the hearth, he had one hand resting right above my knee which he clung to me with as if I would be ripped from his grasp. 

After a few minutes his breathing became shallow and I looked down at his sleeping face. He finally looked relaxed, I reached above him to pull the fur blanket onto his frame, and began humming a soft lullaby my father would sing to me when I was upset. 

I must have fallen asleep myself, because next thing I know I was woken up by the wards unlocking. As the door was pushed open Lucien stilled in the doorway, eyes wide like he had walked in on something he shouldn’t have. He settled after a second and shut the door behind him softly, wards clicking locked.

“I thought he was going back tonight?” Lucien raised a brow in question.

“He was originally. I offered to bring him back here to relax before he had to go back…” I trailed off

“But?” Lucien brought our cups to the kitchen, sitting them softly in the sink with a clink.

“When we got back, he spotted the little fox he carved me and broke down crying. I mean he was fully on his knees crying into my lap Luci.” I sighed and tucked a stray hair away from Eris’s face.

Lucien hummed in acknowledgement, quickly washing the cups and putting them away. “You know why?”

“No. He didn't say anything once he stopped crying.” I mumbled softly watching the way Eris’s features softened as I stroked his hair back.

Lucien stalked across the living room barely making a sound, besides a creak of a floor board. Leaning back and kicking his feet up onto the ottoman, he threw the blanket over his legs and sat the book on his lap.

“Its because he has realized that after all this time, you still genuinely care about him. That you have never once had a thing against him, never once thought him the terrible male everyone else does. That you still care, always have and always will.” Lucien sighed before he continued. “After all they said tonight, I think it got to him. When we went to the bathroom, he said something that got to me even. It didn’t make sense to me till now.”

I looked up at Lucien who had his head leaned back and was staring at the ceiling. “What did he say?”

His amber eye found mine, something serious in them. “I barely caught it under his breath, probably shouldn’t have even heard it. But he said ‘she's why i’m doing this, she’s why I’ve got to be better, she’s why.’ He was practically chanting it under his breath. I think Azriel’s words got in his head, I know he struggled with feeling he was enough of a good male to still call you his friend. Our father’s abuse broke how he views himself, so under that mask he wears opinions to get to him when it's. It’s a lot for him, it gets to him.”

I nodded, felt the tears line my eyes again but Lucien caught me off before I could say anything. “So when he saw that one little figure, it might be silly to you to see him cry over it but it was proof that even to one person, one person he cares for more than the Prythian itself, that he is none of those things and that someone actually cares, shattered him. Trust me when I say this hun, but he would raze all the courts to the ground if something happened to you, so yeah your opinion of him matters more than anything to him.”

Tears ran down my face slowly. “But why?”

“Why what?”Lucien half smiled.

“Why do I matter so much” I sniffled

“Honestly, I don't know, just do. If I had to guess it's because you have been there since the beginning, since before his life went to shit.” Lucien hummed. “Now stop crying or you’ll wake him up, wipe your cheeks off.”

I wiped my face and nodded quickly. “Can I ask something?” Lucien mused.

I nodded. “Yeah?”

“You emphasized the fact that he was on his knees. Like you had seen it before, what happened last time that made you realize how important the reason for crying was to him, whatever it was?” He returned his gaze to the ceiling.

“It was the woods after he was informed about his engagement to Mor…” I mumbled and looked down to watch how Eris’s fingers clung to my leg. 

“Oh.” Lucien hissed.

“He snuck out a bottle of alcohol and we ran off to our spot in the woods. He broke down in my arms, we broke down and cried together.” I sighed “He begged me to not leave him alone in the world.” 

Lucien sat up fairly quickly. “He.. He begged you?” Lucien’s eyes both found purchase on me. “He thought you would leave him and he begged you to stay?”

I nodded. “He begged and apologized and we both cried harder than I thought was possible. He asked if I hated him Lucien.” The younger male sucked in the sharp breath.

“What did you say to him?” The redhead murmured to me like it was almost forbidden to say it out loud.

“I promised him that I never have, never could, and never will.” I brushed Eris’s hair out of his face again and he smiled in his sleep and purred against my thigh.

Lucien’s eyes widened as if he realized something that had eluded him for years. “You made a deal with him that you would never be able to hate him… You wouldn't have made that deal unless you knew it couldn’t be broken no matter what. Your mates aren’t you?” 

I nodded and Lucien wiped his face with your hands. “He doesn't know does he?” 

I shook my head again. “No he doesn't” 

Lucien hissed under his breath. “Oh now you two have most definitely worked yourselves into a mess.”

I furrowed my brows. “What do you mean?”

“He loves you, I know that much. For you to matter that much to him he has too. He chose you for this whole fake dating thing for a reason then” Lucien mumbled. 

I stilled and cut him off. “He said he chose me because I was the first female that came to mind that he trusted enough to ask to do this.” I hissed.

“The first female,” Lucien hissed back, “Because he is in love with you.”

We both sighed loudly and Lucien turned to me with a soft look in his eyes. “Just don’t let him burn himself out is all I ask. He’s the only other good member of my family, snuck me out to Spring Court, warned me about what they were going to do to Jes.”

I nodded and he stood. “I'm going to go take a bath, have a good night, I’ll see you both in the morning.”

Jesminda came up, after all these years it was still a sore spot for him. Especially after he had seen Elain hanging on Azriel, I was just surprised he brought it up himself. Showed how much Eris truly meant to him, made sense why he cared so much but his wording confused me. 

“What do you mean by ‘Don’t let him burn himself out?’ Lucien?” I furrowed my brows in confusion. 

Lucien stilled in the archway of the hall, his back still to me as he looked over his shoulder. “I mean he is willing to play with as much fire as it takes to stay close to you even if he burns out in the process. Don’t let him burn out, keep his spark ignited, fan it into a raging forest fire. We both know the capability he has to become one of the best males there is, we both know the only reason he has to do that now is you. He is reforming Autumn for you it seems like. Keep that spark fanned, strike out whoever wants to snuff it. The only thing keeping him burning is you.” Lucien’s mind was racing as he spoke but mine was equally so. 

He turned and looked me dead in the eyes, a fire raged deep within them. “Promise me, make a deal with me here and now.”

“What?” I was taken off guard by his tone of voice.

He strode over to me with his hand extended. “Let's make a deal here and now that you will protect him, that you won't let him burn out or let anything bad ever happen to him again. That you’ll chase his terrible thoughts away, just like you did tonight, whenever they become unbearable for him.” 

I looked back down at his hand, then back up into his amber and metal eyes. I placed my hand firmly in his. “It's a deal.”

I didn’t want anything from Lucien in exchange, knew we both wanted the same thing here, for Eris to be happy. I knew what my purpose was the second I felt the sting of a new bargain tattoo on my upper right arm. As I pulled back from Lucien and looked to the spot i had felt the sting, I knew that no matter how long it was going to take even if we got into a terrible argument after this arrangement, that I would wait for Eris and be there to chase his fears away, knew the second my eyes locked on the tattoo that perfectly mirrored the wooden fox Eris carved for me all those years ago.  In the same spot on Lucien’s shoulder was a constellation in deep red ink.  

Lucien smiled at me and returned to the archway calling over his shoulder before he disappeared with a smirk. “Goodnight Sister.”

It felt like my body absorbed all the heat it could from Eris and pushed it right into my face, my heart racing and an ache settled in my chest that was only soothed by Eris’s fingers clinging slightly tighter to me. I settled taking the second throw pillow and putting it behind my head, the least Lucien could have done was give me his blanket before he left, Fuck. 

Taglist:

@stained-glass-eyes0708

@acourtofbatboydreams

@abysshaven

@wallacewillow0773638

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

Hiii, this is my first time requesting a Miguel fic😭😭😭 nervous

so like hurt/comfort where spider-woman reader was a mother and losing her child (preferably a daughter) was one of her cannon events.

Shes watching old videos on her phone/laptop where her kids kind of like, standing on her feet and they're dancing together to my love mine all mine by mistki (her new album destroyed me) and Miguel walks in and just watches.

Miguel gets caught staring at the videos but instead of telling him to leave she asks him to stay because she knows hes been through something similar. They're just watching old videos of her kid and then they eventually move onto talking about Gabi too.

im a sucker for friends/coworkers to lovers so maybe add a little lovey dovey smut at the end if you want <333

rlly sorry if this is a bit much i just had to get this out of my smooth little brain😭😭😭

hii!! AAA I love it!! but really sorry, no smut in this one :(( I had too many ideas but I had a total brain fart writing this. thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

—

OF THE PAST

miguel o’hara x spider-woman!reader

word count: 550

warnings: mentions of death, grief etc

✧.┊ MASTERLIST

Grief and loss aren't uncommon emotions for a Spider-Person. They were feelings all Spiders experienced at one point- all of you connected by a singular canonical death. 

For many others, their event was the death of Uncle Ben, but not you. Yours was your daughter- your little love who 'mistakenly' got caught in the crossfire.

Not many Spiders could resonate with the grief of losing a child, nor could one imagine the weight of it. It's a feeling that can truly be understood by those who have experienced the same thing, by someone who had also lost a child. 

There was only one who could comprehend your grief, Miguel.

You'd often find yourself rewatching old family tapes of you and your daughter, replaying the clips over and over as if the memories weren't painful enough. 

You'd essentially watch your life back, looking over videos and pictures of you and your little girl- times when you baked cupcakes, or had secret picnics in the backyard. Beautiful moments where you danced in the living room, her tiny feet balanced on yours as you held her hands, spinning her around to the music. 

When you watched it back, you couldn't recognise yourself. The woman in the videos isn't here anymore. She was long gone, and you missed her. 

-

You were still at HQ, not wanting to return to an empty home, so you stayed, sitting in the vacant cafeteria as you stared aimlessly at your phone, honing in on the tiny writing at the top of the screen, '1 year ago today.'

"You can sit down," you whisper to the presence behind -Miguel- who has been lurking for the past few minutes.

"What gave it away?" he quietly asks, pulling out a chair next to you.

"Your heart," you sadly smile at him and turn your focus back to your phone. 

The subject of child loss is always incredibly tricky, never knowing what to say or constantly worrying if you said the wrong thing. It's hard to gauge what does more harm to the parent, and though Miguel is dealing with a similar situation, he still found himself at a loss. 

"I do that too," he finally speaks, nodding to your hand. "It feels good for a bit, then it just..." 

"Hurts some more," you finish his sentence, weakly chuckling.

"Yeah," he nods, twisting around in his chair to face you. "Can I see?"

You hum, lightly nodding as you press her photo album, turning it so Miguel could see. 

You swipe through with tears prickled in your eyes, looming in the water line as you smile at the screen. 

"This one," you speak up, clearing your throat. "She— uh, she got into my makeup bag," you laugh, recalling the memory. "And she— erm, she stained her face for a few days. Looked like a panda for a while."

Miguel chuckles, fully immersed in your story. "Gabi did that, too. But she," his smile widens, shaking his head. "Found high heels and dresses." 

"Mine too," you snicker, showing him the picture of your daughter playing adult dress up. 

You both stay like that for a while, sharing stories and memories of your daughters, recalling comical events to lighten the atmosphere. The pair of you telling tales in a way that connects you.

— — — — — — — — — — ☆ — — — — — — — — — —

artwork by shuploc

[ofbreathandflame]

im sorry im breaking my anti fast for this bc its literally the most idiotic thing i have ever seen.

"some people hate sjm for the racism in her books"

yeah NO SHIT.

that has always been the point.

thats literally the entire point of being anti sjm posts. thats literally all we talk about in the anti tags. but shortsightedness and an unhealthy relationship with these characters has always blinded y'all to that fact.

you see this is why i could not stomach conversations because you guys constantly make a mockery of the problems in sjm's work and only acknowledge the problems for a 'gotcha' moment. EVERY SINGLE TIME we have talked about how the racism in sjm's work affects the writing of her characters you guys have made it into an anti feysand problem, and by doing that you have willingly separated yourself from the problems in the story. the reality is that the racism affects the way these characters are written -- including your favs. do not dare twist the main message of antis to fit some twisted little point you want to make toward specific blogs. i have been on my last account for over two years and EVERY TIME i -- or any anti -- has talked about the way sjm's racism bleeds onto the text we have been undermine, ran off our blogs, sent hate mail. so yeah it pisses me off to no end to be sent the dumbest post in the anti tags to ever exist. yall do not care about her racism, her misogynoir. if you did, you wouldn't be calling people brain dead for daring to dislike your favorite ship for valid reason -- i.e. the racism. we talked about the complexities of how racist the portrayal of the illyrians were -- and we were dismissed as anti feysand and therefore 'braindead.' we talked about the way women of color and the allusions of FGM (female genital mutilation)-- and we were called anti feysands and then dismissed. stay out of the anti tags -- especially if you are the ones perpetuating these dynamics. i was ran off my blog for discussing these issues for two years. y'all sent hate mail, called me tamlin stan -- called others tamlin stans -- for even daring to discuss the racism in sjm works. that's not even touching the nehemia situation, or crescent city. fuck off the tags. you literally have a blog dedicated to this woman and her racist ass characters, you shoot down any criticism of them because of it, and then yall have the nerve to come into the tags for the some hehe hahah tamlin stan bs??? double fuck off. the anti sjm tag has always been a place for that criticism. always.

addition: and these problems are not just valid when discussing characters you don't like. the illyrians are written to brutes, with the bat boys operating as the 'model minority'. the story justifies the lack of infrastructure, and the misogyny (misogynoir depending on how you classify illyrian women), the lack of progress.

'its a culture problem'

'rhysand has tried, but they wont listen'

like do you know how crazy it is to write a group of people as permanently mentally stunted? to classify their women as nameless entities that our main character can shift in and out of to satisfy her supposed 'man of color' sexually? feyre cosplays as a woman of color for SEX, meanwhile in FIVE BOOKS we've met one named illyrian woman and shes described 'interesting,' but not as pretty as opposed to nesta and gwyn, mor, and feyre who are the prettiest people to walk the earth. that don't sound CRAZY to yall??? these people of color are left without leadership, without infrastructure, no access to a golden city, no access to their high lord, are forced to breed out warriors who live and die without ever getting to enjoy the city of velaris, the house of wind for survivors. all of that so that the maincharacters can live out that power fantasy. its racist. thats what it is. please think consider reading comprehension b4 yall make these gotcha posts because it really stinks of weirdness.

the illyrians are treated like rabid animals by their leaders, by everyone and then the responsibility is on them to somehow progress when everyone is unwilling to give them nothing more than scraps. like there's a real life counterpart to this, and yall arguments are very real and very damaging.

they are written by the author to be a permanent second class deserving of their position because they're minds somehow cannot comprehend any 'progression.' all of these characters including rhysand, feyre, mor, az, cassian, tamlin, nesta say racist things toward them because THE NARRATIVE thinks they're justified in saying them. like the moralizing is wild in this case bc all of them are allowed to get away with it. its not just tamlin or nesta, not just the valkyries (which is an ENTIRELY different scenario btw). like the idea that all of the bad can be ascribed to the 'bad' characters and the 'good' characters somehow don't feed into those racist tropes is WILD. rhysand literally told us -- the reader -- the in the war against slaves and their oppressors somehow it was an equal battle. like?????? somehow 'both sides were at fault' ignoring that one side WAS LITERALLY SLAVES. like can u imagine if someone looked at the Haitian revolution and was like....yeah the side of the oppressors was somehow on equal footing when the other side WAS ENSLAVED? how can u acknowledge this author is racist and then pretend that the racism only bleeds over to the characters you *shockingly* don't like?? yes -- there is a problem with feyre wearing illyrian wings BECAUSE SHES THE HIGH LADY. she made herself that title. of course that carries a different weight. the racism is ingrained in the text, not just some little trinket to flash when you want to moralize bullying a small group of people with strawman arguments.

[raineydays411]

My Father's Daughter

Part 6

Tony Stark x daughter! Reader

Hey guys! So I know it's been like nine thousand years since I updated, but I honestly didn't have the motivation till now. Im sorry if this kinda sucks but I'm still getting back into the groove of things.

From the moment you arrived at the Wayne Manor, you knew you were going to be miserable.

First of all, it was incredibly different from the technological paradise you called home. This was a gothic, old fashioned manor, you don't even know if your Bluetooth would work out here.

Secondly, this manor is full of people who you would rather not have any interactions with. Including , but not limited to : your mother, who abandoned you, her husband, who she abandoned you for, her son who she abandoned you for, and so on and so forth.

And finally, if you have to deal with these stuck up, stand offish, gloomy ass kids your mother adopted for a second longer you are going to--

"Y/n?"

A voice snaps you out of your thoughts and back into the giant living area, seeing multiple pair of eyes staring at you. Mixed with concern, annoyance, and amusement.

You turn your attention to Bruce, " I'm sorry can you repeat that?"

You hear a snicker coming from one of the three million kids, whos name you really cannot be bothered in learning.

Bruce sighs and repeats goes to repeat his words, " I said, I know that this must be a change for you. And although your mother and I are ecstatic that you're here, we understand that it will take you a while to be comfortable. So when you're ready....blah blah bla"

You start to tune him out again, retreating back into your brain. Really, these long winded speeches are really annoying, especially when it could be cut short.

That's when you hear a "Tsk".

"Honestly Father, I don't understand why you waste your breath. She obviously has a hard time comprehending even the simplest of concepts."

"Damian!"

oooh you're gonna end up killing that kid.

"Keep talking like that shrimp and you'll have to comprehend my foot up your--"

"Y/n!"

Bruce shouts with an exhausted look on his face, you and Damian have been exchanging sly remarks ever since you got here....about five hours ago. Christine decided to take the rest of the kids with her grocery shopping for a special dinner for you, leaving behind only Damian and Cassie.

They really were not fond of the idea that you were biologically their mothers.

"Damian, Y/n is part of our family and you shall treat her as such. This is no different than the other times we brought in someone new to our family."

"Well I can name a few differences" You mutter, looking down as Bruce shoots you another exhausted look.

You really do feel bad for the guy. Despite everything he has been rather nice to you, and you bet his whole world has been turned upside down, once again. He's really taking this extra marital child thing with stride. Although you guess being who he is he has to be ready for the inconceivable.

Before you can say anything else however, the front door opened revealing Christine and her hoard of children. And it's like a circus suddenly burst through the door. All of them yelling at, to, and over each other. It honestly was annoying to hear. You never really interacted with other people your age. Sure there was Peter but he actually was younger than you, and when you were in the Tower was quiet. You really were going from only child to a house full of children.

"Y/n!" Christine says rather loudly, " Oh I was hoping to make it back before you go here. I guess grocery shopping to a bit loner than I expected." She giggles.

"I've been here for about five hours." You deadpan.

You catch the glare Damian shoots you as the energy in the room dims down. The rest of the kids give each other awkward glances, not really daring to say anything.

That is until Dick decides to speak up wrapping an arm around Christine.

"Well, Y/n I hope you're hungry! Cause I know Mom has a special dinner prepared for you." He smiles, "She makes it every time someone knew joins our family."

You don't know why but his overly joyous tone really gets on your nerves.

"Is it roast beef with mash potato's and garlic bread?" You ask innocently watching almost everyone in the room react in shock.

"Um, how did you know that" Dick asks hesitantly.

"Yeah every time mother dearest over here came to visit me at the tower that was her "special meal"' you say " A special meal to show just how much she missed me."

Now the room was tense.

Christine's face dropped, realizing that if she wanted to get closer to you, she can't use the same tactics she used on her other kids. So instead of saying anything outright, she takes a deep breath to regain her composer. The she smiles again

"You have a good memory Petal. How about to come help me in the kitchen?"

The children gasp, as long as they lived in they mansion, they knew to never step foot into their mothers kitchen. It was her way of decompressing, if she was a captain, that was her ship and she sailed alone. The only one allowed to go into the kitchen while she was cooking was Alfred. And that's cause no one could say no to Alfred. And because everyone was scared of him.

Needless to say, this request struck jealousy their hearts.

Dick, Jason, and Tim all were able to somewhat put it aside, understanding the situation behind the request. But Damian... he refused to see anything other than him being replaced. That was his mother, his home, his family. He doesn't understand how one girl could come in and ruin it.

And even worse, you turned it down.

"Yeah, I'm no Betty Crocker. Sorry" You say, " Is there anyway I can get settled in my room?"

Everyone looks at each other, speaking with their eyes. But before anyone could speak Alfred came to your rescue.

"It seems Ms. Stark is rather tired from her trip, I shall show her to her room. I'm sure she'd like to freshen up before dinner."

You sigh in relief, glad he took the attention off you even if it was for just a second. You were getting frustrated with the way they were looking at you. It seems that this will be a common theme while you live here.

You quickly gather your things before anyone says anything, shrugging off Dick before he's able to help you with your luggage. Then balancing everything, you march forward with a,

"Lead the way Riff-Raff"

And ignoring the confused look from Alfred and glares from Damian as you pass by. You hold your head up high, despite the looks and judgement.

Once again feeling like an outsider in a place you are forced to call home.

[blueskittlesart]

i think you should be allowed to complain about whatever you want forever (and as someone who has been absolutely dying a thousand deaths over the currently planned live action how to train your dragon movie i completely understand this flavor of anguish)

sure sometimes positivity can be good, but sometimes u gotta start eating the walls and yelling to the sky about your misery (it’s cathartic <3). i am so very sorry you are joining the “bad live action movie made purely for money that has no shot of capturing what i love about this media” club, and i hope that at some point in the future it will be able to hurt at least a little less

it's like. idk. like i know that im at best a niche internet microcelebrity but it does kind of feel like im at the point where im being held to a weirdly high standard for. posts on a dying blogging website. like as far as i'm concerned i've never marketed this as an overtly positive space. i complain constantly. i've built this blog around media analysis and critical reads of the things i enjoy, whether those reads are positive or negative. but it's gotten to the point where any time i post an even minimally divisive opinion i get someone who is angry that i even dared to have an opinion at all. i've been very open on this blog about what these games mean to me and how much of my life is tied up in them. I became an artist in part because of my love for them. they have driven the success of my career over the past 5 years. I don't think it's unreasonable for me to be disappointed when something like this happens even if it's "just a game" or "just a movie" especially when my entire brand of content is posting about the game in question. i feel sort of insane. like, you all understand that i'm a person, right? that when i post things they come from my real human brain with real human thoughts and emotions? That i'm not curating my thoughts and opinions for you to consume? I'm just posting. i have a big audience but i am still just posting. and no one understands more than me how insane it is that i'm saying all this in response to posts on my legend of zelda fan blog. but like. i need you all to understand that you can't just tell people to not feel something that they are feeling and expect them to react positively to that, no matter what the context is.

anyways none of this is directed at you the asker im just using you as a vessel lmao but thank you for your support. i am nothing if not a hater and i will continue to be a hater until the end of time god bless 🙏🙏🙏

[michelleleewise]

For the Angst Loki fic you could do it however you like 💞😘

Ok, I'm so glad you said that, cause I have ideas....😈 soooooo hold on to your tissues, this is gonna be painful....*whispers* sorry.....

Based on this prompt......

====================================

Forget Me Not..

Pairing: Loki x reader

Warnings: memory loss, battle sequences, minor mention of blood (not graphic) mentions of injury, smut if you squint, literally all the angst, depression, crying, anger, no happy ending to be found.

Summary: You and Loki have been dating for almost a year when an accident leads to him to losing some of his memory. What happens when the love of your life doesn't know you....

You had been with Loki for awhile now, in fact your were coming up on your one year anniversary, and you were never happier. When he first came to live at the tower he was harsh, even rude at times, but you slowly broke his defenses with your smile and happy attitude. He adored everything about you, and you knew you had found your soul mate.

"Darling, how would you feel about moving in together?" He asked holding your hand, cuddled on the couch. "Loki, I would love nothing more." You smiled as he leaned over gently kissing you. "I hope to one day be worthy enough to make you my wife." He smiled as you cupped his cheek "You have always been worthy Loki." You smiled back.

You both heard the alarm sound, knowing there was an attack somewhere, you geared up and headed to the briefing room. After listening to Steve go over everything in immense detail, you all loaded into the quinjet, ready to take on whatever was thrown at you.

"OK, I wasnt ready for this!" You yelled, coming face to face with what looked like an eight foot dog animal of some sort. Some of hydra's experiments Steve had said. You flipped the daggers in your hands and went on the attack, cutting down as many as you could, looking over seeing Loki taking on two at a time. You started making your way to him when you heard Thor "y/n, watch out." He yelled as mjolnir whizzed past your head, taking out another experiment. You saw Loki running towards you as you watched the hammer curve, making its way back to Thor.

"LOKI, STOP!" You yelled, but it was too late as you watched the hammer strike him before landing in Thor's hand. You sprinted as hard as you could, diving to kneel next to Loki, who was unconscious and bleeding pretty bad. "Thor, what do we do?" You asked looking at him. "I am not sure, this has never happened before." He shifted nervously. You checked for a pulse, breathing when you found it. "Steve, we need med evac now!" You yelled into the comms. You helped load Loki onto the jet, as the rest of the team took care of the experiments.

Loki was still unconscious when you made it back to the tower. Bruce ran scans on him as you waited with Thor. "He has multiple skull fractures but those are healing. I'm not sure what damage may have been done to his brain though. We'll have to wait and see." He sighed. "I am sorry y/n, I should have been more careful." You heard Thor say. "It was an accident, it's fine." You sighed, going to sit in the other room with Loki.

It had been three days and still no sign of him waking. "Y/n, you need rest." Thor said walking in. "No, I'm fine. He's gonna wake up anytime." You said rubbing his hand. You sat in silence together, waiting, when you heard a groan. "Loki, your awake." You breathed standing up looking at him. "Mm yes, it appears so." He said holding his head. "Where am i?" He asked slowly opening his eyes. "Your in the med bay" You smiled. "And who are you, a nurse?" He asked looking at you. "Im...I'm y/n, you know me." You smiled rubbing his hand. "I'm afraid I don't, is there a doctor?" He asked looking around. Your heart dropped as he didn't recognize you. "Thor, what are you doing here?" He asked looking over. "I was sitting with y/n, to make sure you recovered, don't you recognize her?" Thor asked. Loki turned, looking you straight in the eye "no, I don't." He said as you dropped his hand stepping back. "I...I'll get Bruce." You whispered leaving the room.

After a long winded explanation, you discovered that the impact of the hammer caused Loki to lose some of his memory. You looked down nodding as Thor patted your shoulder "he'll remember you." He said. "We don't know that, it may be permanent." Bruce said. "I better get my things out of his room before we move him." You sighed standing up. "I thought you lived together?" Thor asked. "We were going to, but now...it would be weird for me to be there when he doesn't know who I am." you said as you walked down the hall. You grabbed your things from Loki's room, looking around as a tear ran down your cheek. "I love you Loki." You sighed leaving.

A couple months had gone by, Loki had improved but his memory still hadn't returned. You had grown closer, but it wasn't the same. He treated you as a friend, a team mate, nothing more. You were sat in the common room of the tower, curled on one side of the couch reading, Loki on the other side when Steve came in. "Hey y/n, Loki this is Melissa, she's joining the team today so im giving her the tour." You looked up, seeing her smiling at Loki with heart eyes. You felt a pang of jealousy shoot through you when you looked over seeing Loki looking at her the same way. He got up, kissing the back of her hand "if you need any assistance, I'm at your service my lady." He smiled at her. You felt your heart crack.

Over the next few months they got closer. You would walk in the kitchen as they stood together smiling, they would pair up in training, they were always partners on missions. One night you couldn't sleep, so you made your way into the kitchen to make yourself some tea when you saw them. His mouth on hers, his hands roaming her body as she moaned his name. You wanted to run but you were frozen as your heart shattered and your eyes burned. You watched him lift her onto the counter, the same counter he had taken you on several times. as he laid her back, lifting her legs up, you covered your mouth running to your room. As you closed it you sank to the floor, sobs racking your body. That was supposed to be you, he was supposed to be your happy ever after, and now he was hers.

You had locked yourself away in your room for days, unable to eat you just sat and cried. He wanted to live with you, marry you. All of your dreams crashed down in front of your eyes that day. You had lost the will to do anything other then exist. Your heart broken and bleeding as you cried until you fell asleep. You heard a knock on the door, but remained silent. "Y/n, are you awake?" You heard Thor, still not responding as he came in sitting next to you. "How are you doing?" He asked, as you remained silent. He cleared his throat "y/n, I am truly sorry." He said "this is my doing and i..." he started "just go Thor." You said staring at the wall. "I will speak with him, he has to remember you, he love..." you cut him off again "no, he loves her, I'm nothing." You said still not looking at him. "Y/n, please, let me just.." he said "just go. Please." You got up going to the bathroom, locking it sitting on the tub as you heard your door open and close.

You remained on autopilot for months. Barely eating, hardly sleeping. You spent your free time in your room, alone. You went out of your way to avoid Loki, you couldn't look at him without feeling as though your heart was being ripped out. Another sleepless night found you wandering the halls towards the kitchen. You peaked to make sure no one was there before making your way in. You made a sandwich as you heard someone behind you "haven't seen you for awhile y/n, where have you been?" You heard Loki behind you freezing.

"Oh, you know. How are things with you and Melissa?" You asked, not wanting the answer. "Oh great actually. She's an incredible woman. She's actually moving into my room tonight, I came down to make her something to eat." He said. "S....she's moving in with you?" You asked looking at him as he smiled. "Yes, amazing isnt it? I don't think I've loved anyone more." He smiled. You felt your head spin watching him. Feeling like you were going to pass out and throw up at the same time. "Y/n, are you well? You look like your about to faint." He said. "I have to go." You said pushing past him towards your room. "Y/n, wait. " You heard, ignoring him you went to your room locking the door.

You grabbed your backpack, shoving as many clothes in as you could. You changed out of your pajamas, slipping your shoes on and grabbing your coat. Laying everything out on the bed, you went to your desk, grabbing a pen and paper you decided to write Loki a letter. You sobbed as you wrote, pouring everything into it you placed it in an envelope, setting it on your desk. You walked to the nightstand, picking up the framed picture you and Loki had taken, you smiling at the camera as he kissed your cheek. You covered your mouth as a sob escaped, you would never have that again.

You slipped the frame in your bag, throwing it over your shoulder as you unlocked your door, looking both ways down the hall as you snuck out. Making it to the kitchen you saw Loki had left, letting out a sigh you made a run for the door "y/n, where are you going?" You heard Thor behind you making you freeze. "I'm leaving. I can't be here anymore. I can't....I can't watch another woman take my forever from me." You said as tears streamed down your cheeks. "Y/n please, don't leave. He will remember, I know he will." He said "No! He won't!" You yelled turning around. "If we was going to he would have by now and he hasn't! He was my everything Thor and hes gone, I have nothing anymore!" You yelled hand still on the door.

"I just hope she loves him the way he deserves." You sighed wiping your face. "Y/n, please." He said stepping closer "goodbye Thor. Tell everyone I'm sorry, but.....I can't anymore." You sighed opening the door leaving, not looking back. Thor stared at the door, wanting to run after you and drag you back. "Brother, what was that about?" He heard Loki behind him, turning to see him in the doorway. "Nothing, it doesn't matter." Thor said walking to the hall as Loki stopped him "what was she talking about?" He asked as Thor looked up at him "she lost something she loves, and it broke her." Thor sighed looking down. "What did she lose?" Loki asked confused. Thor looked up into Loki's eyes "her heart brother, she lost her heart." Thor said, walking to his room.

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

@vbecker10 @lokiprompts @lokisninerealms @lulubelle814

[bunnyreaper]

hey bunny! been a min since i last sent you an ask 💜

i wanted to share that my bf just told me yesterday he wanted some space, to take a little break to figure things out. we did not break up, he told me that's not what he wanted us to do. i'm still really heartbroken about it bc i have bad separation anxiety and it's taking over my brain rn.

i was hoping for a drabble about soap comforting a reader who's dealing with that kind of situation, i was leaning towards the best friend au.

thank you so much for bringing me joy with your fics and headcanons 💜

- 🔪💕

hello my love, im sorry for being late to this ask but im sending all my best wishes your way ♥ wrote a silly little thing for you and hope it helps, if you need to talk, im here !!

johnny is the first one to notice something is amiss with you, your usually bright smile absent when he tries to make you laugh as he always does. 

a nudge to the shoulder, a retelling of one of simon's jokes that you've always loved, and nothing--just that same forced smile that doesn't bare your teeth or reach your eyes. his heart sinks every time he sees it, and every time he resolves within himself to try harder, to find something to make you smile properly again. 

as your best mate in the whole world, johnny supposed that you were just waiting for the right moment to talk about whatever it is that's clearly bothering you, but after days of nothing, he grows restless. 

it's one night in the rec room that he finally gets his answers. 

you're sandwiched between simon and johnny on the lumpy couch--despite johnny campaigning for it being his turn to pick the film for the night (where he secretly resolves to pick your favourite movie), simon is having none of it, and shoves on whatever he likes while johnny whines. 

"guess we're struggling tonight, lass." johnny jokes, playfully elbowing you as he tries to make you smile. 

you manage to roll your eyes in return, the slightest of smiles on your lips. "i'm sure we'll live." 

usually, you spend your nights texting your boyfriend, almost always in constant contact, as johnny fights for a scrap of attention. 

it doesn't escape your best friends attention that tonight, despite unlocking and locking your phone constantly, no notifications come. it doesn't escape his attention that your lockscreen is no longer two grinning embracing faces, but something aesthetic, impersonal. 

johnny can't hold himself back any longer. perhaps if you can't talk about it, you can find another way to tell him what's going on. 

your phone pings with a notification, your body going stiff and rigid, only relaxing when you see that it isn't your now ex, but johnny. you rush to open the text, casting a questioning look at the man next to you whose eyes are glued to his screen that is just tilted out of your view. 

> came up on my memories today :) 

attached is a picture of the two of you, from a year ago today, johnny's arm slung around your shoulders as you both smile so sweetly at the camera. you're both a little on the tipsy side, but were having the absolute best night by each other's side, forgetting about everything but enjoying your time together.

even the sight of the photo sparks a joy within you that you haven't felt since you got the news. you've not been blind to the way johnny's constant warmth has surrounded you, but only now can you feel it begin to seep into your weary soul. a reminder of better times, and hope that one day you'll smile like that again--it's a balm to your battered heart.

you double tap the message, adding a little floating heart in response as another of johnny's messages comes through.

> thought you needed a smile, bonnie girl.

and smile now you do, a lightness filling you, with your best friend at your side. the one man you can truly count on.

< i did, thanks johnny <3

his bubble appears, typing before it disappears--over and over again until a message finally pops through.

> wanna talk about it? 

somehow, the words feel easier to type than to speak--so much simpler without the fear that you won't be able to get through your words for fear of crying.

< we're on a break. i wasn't expecting it. just came out of nowhere. 

you expect johnny to send warm words of encouragement, but instead he's pulling you into his arms, completely disregarding simon's presence, ignoring anything else besides the overwhelming need to comfort you. 

"'m sorry, lass. doesnae know what he's missing out on. nae need to say anything, i've got ye now."

he says nothing more, as if he can sense that words aren't not what you need right now. instead, he lets you find home in his arms and starts his mission of holding you until all the pain goes away.

[danihow]

Flowers and flames

Prohero!Shoto Todoroki x Florist!Reader Boku no hero academia

Word Count: 3.3k

Summary: You never planned on having a reunion with your ex boyfriend, and never in a million years you thought it would be in a victim-pro hero situation.

Warnings: Language, robbery, flower quirk reader, bad written drama, fire, kiribaku, and fluff? Idk.

A/N: Funny story is I started it LONG ago, like, season 4 was barely our and all, and I havent kept on watching the show so this is written as far as my knowledge goes, idk if anybody is dead, so im sorry there, literally publishing this like 3 years after but who cares.

In some cases, just sometimes, they were the right person, they were the one you were meant to be with for the rest of your life, the one whose arms ressemble a home, a safe place where nothing could keep on haunting you and your heart flutters, finally relaxing in happiness. They are, indeed, your soulmate.

Still, even if they are the most amazing person you've ever met, even if they are the one, in cases the timing makes you thing otherwise, that they were not what your heart made you think and they get away, the path of their life no longer colliding with yours in the way it did before. They are not longer your life, your everything, they are just strangers again, stranger with memories.

And it hurts at the beginning, the light in your chest is deemed away, the days take longer to pass by, the time stops but... not in the good way, time seems to be stuck in the middle of everything and nothing, giving eternal seconds to your heartbreak to eat you alive and tear, piece by piece, the strings that connected you to your will of living.

It all seems to be like a never ending snowstorm.

But now, winter has passed, your heart was alive again, your memories were tossed to the back of your brain as you welcomed a new light in your life: you were staring to love again but this time, yourself.

A bit more than six years have gone by since that realtionship ended. Around two thousand, two hundred a fifty days of your emotional healing process. The sun shining behind the tall building, just about in the angle that provided the earth with some beautiful orange hues of light that gave everything around you a little bit more of life.

You were alive, you were breathing, you were happy, and you were relieved.

Your work at the flower shop just ended, closing time making its way around. Just ten more minutes and then you could go back home. It had been a busy but provechous day, since August is the month with the most birthdays the amount of bouquet orders this month have been insane. Your hands have crafted a ton of bouquets today, all kind of bouquet, from formal bouquets that contained monotoned flowers to the most colorful mix everyone could imagine. But you didn't felt tired, you felt happy of making others happy.

The ring of the doorbell woke you from your memories, a tall man in a suit walking in the shop, his red eyes wandering the place with calm, eyeing the peonies, the roses, the sunflowers and the chrystaseums.

"Hi sir! How can I help you today?" Your voice came out in a friendly tone once the man standed right infront of the register.

"Hi, I have a dat- Y/N?" Your name dropping of this stranger's mouth made you look at him now with more concern that friendliness washing over your face.

Your eyes began to wander over his face, the gears in your brain starting to spin as he rang some memory in the back of your head. He was tall, muscular, a defined jaw that dragged the attention to his face, prominent cheekbones that went well with the wildness in his blonde hair and remarked the power behind those dark red eyes... Red eyes.

"Bakugo?"

"It's been way too long since the last time I saw you." He muttered, his eyes inspecting the facial features of his long time friend.

"Uh, y-yeah. Like six years I think. What brings you to my flowershop?"

"Oh, right. I need a bouquet with some pink flowers that kinda looks like a pom-pom." He says, his hands trying to imitate the size and shape of the flower he's thinking about, your mind instantly getting what he means.

"What color do you want for the pom-pom flowers?"

Your steps were still light as he remembered them to be when you dated his friend. "I was thinking of white pom-pom flowers with some red peonies."

"You are one lucky man Bakugo, these right here are the last peonies I will have for the rest of the week." You giggle, taking some white alliums in between your hands, along with some peonies and yellow yarrows to the crafting table.

"What can I say, luck has always been on my side." He says with a smirk. The blond being less agressive than you remembered him to be at 18.

"May I ask who is the lucky person receiving flowers from you?"

"I'm gifting them to my boyfriend, Kirishima, it's our four year anniversary today."

"You finally got with Kiri? That's awesome Katsuki! Congrats!" You happily cheer in him, a soft blush in his ears and nose as he laughs your words aside.

"Thanks Y/N." He mutters, eyes fixated in the bouquet you are working on. "I'm really lucky to have him actually. Pro hero life is such a fucking mess all the time, he's the only one keeping me sane."

"Is great to see you happy and sane, Bakugo. It really is." You smile at him, finishing the bouquet. "It would be five thousand yen, sir." You say, the man handing you the money while taking the flowers.

"Thank you, it's really pretty, Y/N." He smiles, taking small steps towards the door, stopping with his hand in the handle. "Can I ask you somtheing?"

"Sure."

"What happened? Why... Why did you distanced yourself from us? From him?"

Your heart sunk a bit, a train of memories going through your head and heart.

"It... wasn't working, Katsuki, I didn't belonged there in your world, I am not a hero, I was just a person with a stupid flower quirk." You laugh it off, the pain, the heartache that settled in the middle of you, roots of stinging memories encaging your heart. "Distancing was an easy was of cowarding, of getting away from the routine, the emotional danger I would put Shoto in."

"...okay." He nodded his head, accepting how you felt. "I know it isn't easy to break a relationship like the one you had, you are not a coward, you know? It takes a lot of courage to distance yourself from those who you love." Katsuki gifts you a comforting smile, his hand taking out a small card from his pocket and placing it in a shelf near him. "There's my number if you ever need help from a hero, or a friend."

"Thank you, Bakugou, it really means a lot." You smiled at him, looking at his face and the sfot yet still somehow harsh gaze in his eyes, his small playful smile made it seem as if he was a whole new person, and it made you happy to look at him this happy even for a hero, Kiri must be doing some good ass work as his boyfriend. "See you later, have a good day!" You said to the blonde who returned your smile and waved back before the door closed.

With a little smile you sighed, your heart felt torned against the memories this little reunion has brought back. You started picking up the mess the flowers let on the counter top, you took the broom and started swiping the dust from the floor, then you cleaned and put everything in its place, a bit more than half an hour later you were done and ready to go home.

You took your keys and your belonging, tossing a rose that was about to bloom in your bag so you could put it in you nightstand and it would last a bit longer, walking out the door of your shop and when you were just about to take the keys out someone muttered from behind you. "Open up again, and give me all in the cashier, if you don't I will not hesitate to kill you."

You slowly turned around, seeing a man with his blue hand laid to you, ready to shoot something if you didn't obey. "You want money?"

"Of course I want the money, what kind of stupid ass question is that." He snarled, signaling at you to reenter the shop.

"Yeah, yeah right." You nodded, any type of quirk he had it did not seemed to be very friendly.

Rather quick for your shaking hands you managed to get the keys again in the door and open it, walking inside with the robber behind.

"I don't have all day, just do as I say and you will not get hurt." You nodded and he smiled. "Put your things aside, I don't want you calling nobody while I'm here, sweetheart."

Putting your keys and bag aside in the floor you did as they said. "Now, walk your ass to the register and put all the money in this bag and no funny bussiness while doing that." He ordered, tossing a black bag at you.

How the fuck did no one noticed him in the shop? There was still some deam light from the sunset, it was nearly impossible for him to threaten you like that and no one to take it in and do something. But you were not going to let him rob all your money that easy.

While doing what he said in and oddly slow manner, you concentrated your self to using your quirk with that one rose you had put in your bag to make it grow enough for it to reach your phone, feeling how the rose moved slowly and with its stem you tried dialing any number in your phone, the last one saved being Bakugou's.

"Hello?" He ask, your number not saved in his contacts. "Who's this?" Even if he was talking rather loudly it was muffled by your bag, thanking the gods for that.

"Can't you do it faster? At this rate I will be taking the money myself you useless scumbag." The man was getting desperate, he actively didn't wanted to get caught by any heroes today.

"I'm sorry, sir." You answered rather loydly for anyone the rose dialed to hear.

"Y/N?" Bakugou asked, hearing carefully to the voices.

"That's all you got in that register? Really?"

"I mean, you are robbing a flowershop, ain't you?"

"Oh they must be stupid." Bakugou muttered hanging up and calling back to his agency to notify any heores near the shop to help you.

"Shut up okay?! Look at the back or something, I'm not leaving until I got some money."

You nodded, your mouth shutting as you walked to the back of the shop and he followed you just to make sure you didn0t called someone or did something suspicious.

You took longer to open the emergency monsey suplly, and even longer putting the money in the bag as he asked. Each second that passes made you more nervous.

What if the flowers didn't do anything? What if they didn't answer?

The thought of losing it all rolling around your mind over and over again, hands trembling to the point the bills were falling out of your hands onto the floor, spreading around the floor.

"are you stupid?" The man asked, picking you up by the shirt, tossing you around as he took over the money handling, sparks leaving out of his hands as he did.

In a matter of seconds a scandal was heard from outside, a siren far away. "You called smeone?" He asked in a shout, turning towards you. "You dumb bitch." He said, a weak snapping from his fingers shocking you lightly, enough for pain to flow around your body and a yelp escape your lips. "Shut up. Now, you ain't getting out of here." He says, manhandling you until he could tie you to the metallic beam that supported the wall.

You pleaded him to let you go, you couldn't do anything, your quirk was useless, but he didn't even spared a look at you, his quirk setting some of your paperwork on fire, himself running out to the front door.

Panicked, you stare at the papers in fire, rapidly becoming bigger and bigger, spreading to the boxes full of wrapping suplies.

"Shit, shit, shit." You say, trying hard to get out of the tie. Maybe, maybe you could still use your quirk with your flowers. The thought inmediately making you concentrate, fire spreading throught the wooden ceiling to the front of the store, smoke coming bewteen the glass doors.

You were trying, really hard, to make your plants grow, the cracking of the flames making hard to hear the growning crowd outside, smoke engulfing the little back room. You started yelling for help, in hope of anyone hearing you from outside or the stores besides.

"Please, please someone." You pleaded, coughing fits interrupting your yelling, you felt lightheaded, unable to keep on yelling. You tried again to use your quirk, hoping atleast one flower was still intact out there in your shelves. Soon, your mind was everywhere and anywhere, memories of today vagantly flowing through it.

"Y/N?" You heard a familiar voice yell, steps louder, the fire and the smoke making your eyes teary, difficulting even seeing clearly.

Maybe it's bakugo. You though to yourself, trying to find some strength between you to yeel again, only to end up coughing.

"Y/N." Your blurry eyes barely picked on the sillouete, a tall fram ecoming in, coldness spreading from it, a warm hand picking you up and snapping the tie around your wrists, helping you get to your feet.

The next couple of minute were a blur, being dragged out to the street, multiple voices surrounding you, fresh air making your lungs ache, as if you were breathing pure alcohol and your lungs were open wounds.

"You okay?" The familiar voice asks again, your eyes finally clearing and being met by a mismatched pair.

"Shoto?" You ask, hand extending you touch his face, in case your dazed mind was playing tricks on you.

"It's me, y7n, you're okay, it's okay." His hand gentle on your shoulder to help you get seated. "The ambulance is on their way, don't force yourself."

"My shop..." You say, staring at it engulfed in flames, windows broken, not a signal of anything intact in it. A deep sadness fulfilling you, the fear, the anger, the dissapointment all filing you and exploiting, fat tears flooding from your face.

"Does something hurt?" Shoto asks, worry deep in his features at the sight of you crying.

You can't find it in you to answer, hand clapped against your mouth to muffle your ugly cries.

You don't know how much time passes, but it feel eternal as the paramedics are checking you, giving you oxygen and checking your light burns.

"Where's Y/N?" You hear Kirishima's voice from the distance, him and Bakugo both making their way to the scene, a relieved look on their faces as they spot you seated with the paramedics. "Are you okay? Where did the fire came from?" They ask, the bouquet you made earlier in Kirishima's hands, making you smile lightly.

"I'm fine, unemployed, but fine." You mutter. "Now get back to your date, it's okay." You signal to the, both sharing a look before sighing.

"Why do you have a phone if you won't answer?" Bakugo asked, the angry tone he put to masquerade his worry made you chuckle, reminding you of your high school years.

You knew yu didn't have to asnwer, and seeing Bakugo overreact and Kirishima calm him infront of you made you chuckle louder.

Maybe you do have missed them.

Once the paramedics cleared you out and treated your burns you went over to Shoto who just finished talking to the police.

"Shoto" You called, he barely heard you as he turned around t oface you, an awkard smile on his face now that eberything was cleared.

"Hi..." He mutters, nodding to you.

"Thank you." You say, finally looking at him rightly. Paying attention to his matured features, jaw more prominent, frame wider and he seemed taller, hair a bit mure ruffled and longer than you remembered, eyes looking at you as softly as your memories recalled. "Seriously."

"It's my job, it's nothing." h¿He dismisses, nodding again. "I'm... uh, relieved that you're fine."

"Thanks." You nod, fiddling with your hands. "I'll go."

"Can we talk for a second? I mean, a few more." He says abruptly, eyes never leaving yours. After you nodded and stayed, he kept on talking. "I always had this question ever since you broke up with me and... seeing you now may be the only chance i'll have to clear it out." He started, looking deeply into your face in search of anything that told him you didn0t wanted to hear him out.

"The thing i want to say is... why did you do it? I- I thought we were doing great and I never stood where I went wrong."

"You never went wrong. I did." You started, unable to look him in the eye as you were spitting out what happened. "I-I was scared, everything was so wrong even though it felt so right. You were always in the spotlight, always being chased after, and after eberything that happened I got scared i was weakening you." You said, not looking at the way Shoto's features formed a face of sadness. "I never wanted to intefere with your job, I loved you too much to keep you from moving forward. I... just felt like a weight, you were much safer without me around."

"Why didn't you talk it with me?" He muttered, searching for your eyes. "You did worse by leaving than staying."

"That aint true. We dont know that, we dont know what the villains could do to us if we were kept together." You thought you would feel sad, but surpisingly, you were relieved as everything was finally spilled.

"what happened with what i felt?" His words slow, careful. "You mever stopped to wonder if I wanted you around even through out all the risks? It was selfish I know, but you were keeping me sane, keeping me alive."

"I'm sorry, I know it was wrong, but look at you now." You signal to the enitre of him. "You are an amizing hero, you fulfilled your dreams, you didnt needed me for that."

"But i wanted you there." He sighed. "I couldnt help but wonder, all these years, what if you talked to me, what if you were still with me?"

"I was a weakness, Shoto."

"No, you were my strength, you kept me grounded." He snaps, tears forming n his eyes. "After I lost you I thought I lost everything, I didnt have you to protect, to keep on foghting."

"But you kept pushing forward didnt you"

"Ueh but... That was because I knew you were stillout there, I found strength in the thought of protecting everything in case you were there."

"Shoto..."

"Its been six years, y/n. What if..." He stops midway, taking berak to gather some air. "What if we try again, as adults?"

"Its not that easy."

"My life will never be easy, we know that, but, maybe, we can try." His hands are ithcing to hold yours now. "If you seriously are over me, if you really dont want me near, say it now; but i know, i stilll want you."

"Sho..."

"This time, I want an answer.¿, I want to hear you out, I want you to say to me what you think."

His words dug deep into your heart, pain coming out of wound you didnt knew you had, but the thought of him made you flutter a bit, something you thought as dead coming back to life inside of you again.

Was it now the right time?

"What if we dont work out?" You scarely ask.

"Then, I'll let you go, but I'll let you go knowing that I fought for you." You didnt know what happened to him, but hearing him talk like that ignited a little flame in your heart.

"Let's try then. But we have to get to know each other again."

"Sure."

[kpopnstarwars]

You're Not The Only One

A/N: my apologies for the millions of time skips, this was originally two parts but i merged it

Warnings: swearing, loneliness, self harm (with a taser and with blades), so much pain im sorry, sleep depriavtion to another level, more pain, this shit is so damn painful ok be warned,

Word count: <3500

Your eyes are drooping as you shade them against the sun. Above you, a ship so battered you're surprised it's still airborne is descending, and you reach for the cup of caf beside you, gulping down the last of its cold dregs before groaning and rubbing your eyes. You work and live alone, so no one's around to look after you, to make sure that you get some sleep, to see the burns on your forearms. As a result of your damned isolation, and the fact that their are rumours about you being the best and the fastest mechanic in the galaxy, you constantly have clients, and you constantly work on no sleep.

In fact, you can't remember the last time you had a full night's sleep.

Or half a night's sleep.

Or an hour of sleep.

Actually, excluding blinking, the last time in your recent memory that you closed your eyes was when you sneezed an hour ago because of the dust that flew off your bed as you stumbled past.

Smiling tiredly, you look up as the ship lands. You're not quite sure why your eyes can't focus on the Mandalorian's helmet as he walks down the ramp, but you run a hand through your hair and tug hard at the whispy strands to wake yourself up at least a tiny bit. Appraising the man's ship, you raise your eyebrows as he approaches, dropping your gaze to give him a once over. Somewhere in your half functioning brain, you realise that he's the itimidating type of attractive, and that if he wasn't paying you, he'd be the type you'd try to woo into bed, just for the fun of it.

But right now, even the thought of a Mandalorian in your bed doesn't break through the thick, clinging fog in your head.

'I assume you're here for repairs,' you say, forcing an echo of brightness into your voice. 'Well, I didn't come for a free blowjob,' he mutters, or maybe you imagine it. 'What?' You ask, feeling awake for once in the last seventy two hours. 'Yes,' he replies shortly, in a way that tells you, no, you had not misheard him. 'I'm here for repairs. No droids.' You huff a laugh. 'You see any droids, tin can? It's just me in this miserable hangar.' He grunts. 'Good.' You squint at him. 'Need a place to stay, Mando? I could use some extra credits.' He shrugs. 'How much?' 'Oh, just fifty credits or so,' you estimate.

He'll find that it's cheaper than any of the rates he'll find in town. For some reason, you want him to stay, either because your addled brain has taken on the challenge of wooing him into your bed, or just because his presence is filling up the room in a way that makes you grateful, because it feels like you haven't had any sentient in years. The Mandalorian tilts his head in a nod, and you smile, clapping your hands together.

'Alright then. I'll start up on your ship, and you can wander around or whatever until you want to turn in for the night.' 'Thank you,' he says. 'I'll be back by nightfall.'

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Pressing the black metal to your skin, you grit your teeth against the pain and ignore the way your muscles jump and spasm as the taser's white light flashes in your eyes. With a gasp, you drop it back down next to your refilled cup of caf. It's been a while since you took the taser out, but work has been busy recently, and you need to stay awake to get this Mandalorian's ship fixed. You're not afraid of the scars any more; it's more necessary for you to keep yourself conscious and working, and besides, the caf stopped being effective two hours ago.

A new dose of adrenaline from the pain the taser caused you streams through your system, and ignoring the smoking mark on your skin and the jittering in your fingers, you stand. The Mandalorian said he'd be back by nightfall, but the moon is high in the sky now. Something tells you that he's out hunting a bounty that gave him more trouble than he expected, so you decide to get back to work on his Razor Crest. When he landed it in your hangar, it was crumbling apart with startling speed - a panel had actually crashed to the ground when he was still twenty feet up in the air. Now, one side is already fixed up and gleaming, ridded of the awful carbon scoring slashing across the silver metal, and the other side is well on its way, the wires sorted neatly and all holes soldered up and patched.

To him, you're sure he'll see it as a miracle. To you, it's just the smell of your own burnt flesh each time you taser yourself.

You need this. You need the constant grind of work, you need your hands always full of the wiring of some ship, otherwise you'll go spiralling; the loneliness will bring you to your knees, the hollow rooms of your hangar will stare at you accusingly, your empty heart will torment you until you're screaming for it to stop. The pain from the taser hardly stings compared to the ache in your chest.

You're own heartbeat feels like a chant: alone, alone, alone, alone -

You gasp as you press the taser to your arm, the inside of your skull lighting up bright white as the energy courses through you. Blood fills your mouth from where you've bitten your tongue, and you wash it down along with the bitter taste of isolation with a sip of caf. Glancing over your shoulder as you brace yourself against the table, panting, you glimpse the silhouette of the Mandalorian as he approaches.

Shit. Did he see you taser yourself? Shame rockets through you, sharp like the edge of a knife, and you dig your knuckles into your eyes. Don't be ashamed, you tell yourself. You're just doing what he's paying you to do.

But other mechanics don't do this to themselves, do they?

No, of course they don't. Ironic, that you're alone in your loneliness. No one's there to share your solitude, because then it wouldn't be solitude, would it? No one's there to witness your pain, because then you wouldn't do such things to yourself. You'd be too embarassed, too conscious of another presence, because you don't know how to act around people who care for you any more - and the reason for that is that there is simply no one who does. Your work has become your life, the broken down ships your family, and even they leave you once you fix them. No one is even present long enough to watch your steady decline, to see the dark circles grown beneath your hollow eyes, because once you fix their ship in lightning speed, they're gone again, their bags of credits the only remnant of company.

'You're... you're fast,' a voice says behind you. You turn around with a forced smile. 'That I am.' 'It's barely been a day,' he says. 'Do you know what time it is?'

This time an edge of something like concern fills his voice. You're speechless. Maybe you're imagining it, because why would a Mandalorian, a man who won't even show you his face or give you his name, be worried about you? Stars, you're just the mechanic he hired, and forget that you're unnaturally fast, forget the damned scars littering your forearms, you're just a stranger, just a person in an orange jumpsuit smeared with oil who he could have met on the street.

'No,' you mumble. 'I don't know what time it is.'

He tilts his head, and you get the impression that he's studying you, that he's looking at you like no one has for a long time. You can't help but wonder if it's because he saw the light of your taser, and for a moment you entertain the thought that he might think you were torturing some slave you had in your cellar which you made do all your work for you. But that's ridiculous. If anyone's the slave, it's your body; the slave driver is your unrelentless mind, and you're trapped in the never ending cycle of fixing ships, drinking caf and tasering yourself until eventually, you'll drop dead where you stand. You haven't tried counting the scars on your arms - the old or the new ones - but you know that many taser bolts can't be healthy. And still, you carry on.

'Hey, you wanted a place to stay, right?' He nods. 'Yeah.' 'Right this way,' you say, gesturing inside. 'Welcome to my humbe abode, Mando.' 'You - you live here alone?' Your throat closes up. 'Yup.'

Mando looks at you again, and somehow that blasted helmet seems to convey something like empathy. It's then that it occurs to you that he's all alone too, surrounded by the silver walls of his ship and the silver slabs of his armour. Maybe he knows what it's like to feel that soul crushing loneliness... Or maybe he's just happy with his solitude, like you wish you could be. Maybe he's happy to be alone with his thoughts.

'In here,' you say, pointing into your bedroom. You'd changed the sheets, and although you don't have another bed for yourself, you doubt you'll be sleeping. 'Where are you sleeping?' He asks. 'In my room,' you lie. 'Mm,' he hums, casting his gaze around. Your room isn't specifically personalised to yourself, there are no heirlooms, no keepsakes; you've been alone what feels like your whole life, but under his scrutinous gaze, the dust on the bedside table could be your dearest possession. 'I'll go, now,' you say quickly. 'I want to work a little more on your ship.' 'A little more, or the whole night?' You freeze. 'Uh - we'll - we'll see.' You turn, pausing in the doorway, looking back at him. 'Sweet dreams, Mando.'

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The sun has been up for precisely an hour when he walks out into the hangar, looking identical to the way he looked the night before. Unruffled, cool, layered in that deadly silver armour. His gaze piercing right into you, spilling secrets you keep even from yourself, pins you down as much as it did yesterday, and you fiddle with the spanner in your hands.

'I finished up with your ship.' He cocks his head. 'And you didn't sleep.' You grow angry under his scrutiny. 'Anything wrong with that?' 'No, except for the fact I bet you haven't slept in three days.' You chuck your spanner into the toolbox. 'Whatever. I'm not some lab womp rat for you to inspect and dissect with your words, Mando.'

Striding past him, you head for the shelter of your caf maker, but he catches your wrist as you pass. Pain splinters through you as his fingers press into your most recent wounds, and you gasp, slapping his hands off you, backing away as he glances sharply towards you, head cocked at the sound of your harsh inhale. No, no, no, he can't see you like this, he can't find out about the scars on your forearms, he can't -

'What's this?'

Your world shatters. In his orange tipped gloves is your taser. Everything disintigrates then, everything you've built around yourself to hide your aching fatigue, your aching loneliness, dissolving because of two small words and a tiny gadget in a masked man's fingers. You want to collapse, to fall into the dust beneath your feet and plummet until even gravity grows tired of you. You want to smack him, to hit him, to say something, but all you do is stare. Stare and stare and stare, your eyes wide with panic.

Finally, your brain catches up, and you take a step back. 'You know what that is.' You spit. 'You know what it means, too. You know what I use it for, you know how I work so bloody fast, so don't fucking ask me what it is when you know full well!' You scream. 'Or maybe you like it, huh? You like the fact that my eyes are bloodshot and I can't stand up without a cup of caf and my fingers won't stop shaking and my head spins every time I fucking move - is that it? Do you - '

'No.'

You freeze. You look down at the cuffs of your jumpsuit around your wrists, and slowly, you pull them up to your elbows. He takes your hand in his, gently turning your arm this way and that as he looks at your scars. Half expecting him to stare at them, disgusted, in the same way that you do, but he lets go of you after no longer than half a minute, slowly opening his arms. Something like hope shoots through you, and your legs buckle as you collapse into his embrace, sobs tearing through your tired husk of a body.

You're not sure you can remember the last time someone held you. The feel of a pair of arms around you is so unfamiliar that all you can do is tremble, fingers fisting in the Mandalorian's cloak as your face instinctively finds itself tucked into his neck, your head fitting perfectly under his chin. Maybe it's ridiculous how much you're trembling, maybe the dig of his armour into your ribs should be uncomfortable, but you don't care because he's letting you lean all your weight against him, he's letting you sob onto his shoulder, Maker, he's letting you cling onto him because he's the only lifeline you have left. It feels as if you've been teetering on the edge for so long, and you only realised how close you were to falling when he pulled you to safety. When he pulled you into his arms.

Mando slips his forearm beneath your knees, smoothly lifting you off the ground as he carries you back into your room, sitting down on your bed with you still in his lap.

'I knew this was your room, you know,' he says, stroking your hair as you curl up on his lap, unable to speak. 'I knew as soon as I saw you how many hours you had deprived yourself of sleep, because I used to do the same to myself. I... I would strap viroblades under my armour, so that if I relaxed for even a moment, the feel of the points against my skin would wake me up again. I thought I was the only one who... who did that to themselves.' He sighs. 'I'm not much better now, but I - I've stopped hurting myself. It's... not healthy, you know?'

It hits you then. This Mandalorian, this man who holds you in his arms has been through what you're going through, and he's living proof of someone who got through it. Your head spins, your chest heaves, and all you can focus on are his words: I thought I was the only one.

'You're not the only one,' he murmurs into your hair. 'There are millions like you out in the galaxy. There always will be. Don't forget that.' You look up at him then, tears in your eyes. 'I - I won't.' 'Good,' he says, and you get the impression he's smiling as he tucks you under the bed covers. 'Will you - will you come back?' You ask, voice small as he turns to the door. He glances over at you. 'Sure.'

You hum, finally letting your eyes close and tugging the blankets tight around you. Mando's soft chuckle is the last thing you hear, the gentle brush of fingers on your cheek the last thing you feel before you fall into the sweet bliss of sleep.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

When you wake up, there are only three things that signal he ever dropped by. The first is that the batteries have been taken out of the alarm clock by your bedside, the second is that the remains of the taser - which has been crushed under the heel of someone's boot - lie in the corner of the hangar, discreet enough for only you to notice them, and the third is a note.

It's written in black on a crinkled piece of paper, the letters scrawling yet easily legible, extending across the expanse of yellowed white like the stretching out of a bird's wings.

You're not the only one.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You don't ever remember being so happy to see a ship. But now, as a familiar ship, glinting silver in the sunlight, touches down in your hangar, your face aches with how wide your smile stretches. The Razor Crest has been a regular appearance in the last few months, and each time it touches down, the burden you carry with you seems to disappear. Dropping the spanner in your hand, you race out into the sun as the cargo ramp lowers, not breaking your stride as you launch yourself at him, your bell like laughter ringing in harmony with his. He catches you in his arms, lifting your feet off the floor as he holds you tight to him. Squeezing your eyes shut, you relax into his grip, breathing in his scent.

'How are you?' Din asks. You smile. 'Good. Better now that you're here.'

Still looking at you, the T-shape of his visor boring into you, he reaches down and intertwines your fingers with his, lifting up your arm and pushing back your sleeve. The happiness sours on your tongue, and you look away, shame dyeing your cheeks red. Your other hand fists by your side, and you can't bear to meet his gaze as he stares down at the fresh wounds on your skin; less frequent than before, only two or three, but still, they aren't gone.

'Why did you have to look?' You whisper, your voice breaking as you pull out of his grasp. 'I want to look after you,' he answers simply. 'I want you to look after yourself.' 'Why does it matter to you, Din?' You demand. 'Why do you want that?' He pauses. 'You know why.'

You do. You heard him the first time you met - he was the first person who found out about the taser, he told you about how he kept himself awake, and somehow you still feel bitter that he had to check. Swiping tears out of your eyes, you turn away from him, waiting for him to touch your shoulder, do anything, but he just stands behind you, his presence large and expectant behind you. He's waiting for you to turn to him, because he knows you inevitably will, and for a moment, it hurts you deep inside that he knows you so intimately, knows every facet of your soul, and you spin around.

'Do you not trust me, Din?' You spit. 'Will you check my wrists every time you land your damned ship in this hangar? Because if so, get out, and don't come back.'

You stare up at him, and he towers at you, stoic and impossibly still. You feel terribly small, your words feel stupid and useless, bouncing off his beskar and lodging right back into you. The sunlight breaks through the clouds above and begins to reflect off his armour and into your eyes, and you tell yourself it's that that is making your eyes begin to water. You despise the way he's just standing there, lit by a column of golden light, as you crumble before him, the distance between you too far to cross.

'I trust you with my life,' he says softly. 'I just don't trust you with your own.'

And then he holds out his arms again, and it's like the first time. You're falling, and he's catching you, holding you tight and stroking your hair, grounding you and holding you down, keeping you from floating away in a sky of pain and sleepless nights. Whispering reassurance in your ear, he rocks you, his touch a sweet, steadying comfort.

'You're okay,' he whispers. 'It's okay, I'm proud of you, cyar'ika. I know it's hard to just stop, and you did so good, alright?' Gently, he prises you off him, holding you at arms' length and making sure you look at him. 'You know I can't destroy every single torch and whatever tools you use to solder ships,' he murmurs. 'So I want you to comm me every time you feel the urge to use them on yourself, and maybe we can keep you awake by talking together, okay?' You nod. 'O - okay.' He wipes your tears away with the back of his hand. 'I care about you a lot, sweetheart. I - I don't like to see you hurt.'

You stare up at him, his words washing over you, slowly circling in your thoughts. Sweetheart. He called you sweetheart. Your heart swells, and you curl your arms around him again, resting your head on his chest and threading your fingers through his.

'I - I care about you too, Din.'

And as he leans down, gently touching his forehead to yours, you know that under his helmet, his smile mirrors yours.

[craacked-splatters]

"I know"

"Do u want to see what I added today?"

"Sure buddy"

(insane rambling below!)

Scrapbooks! Scrapbooks! Hell yeah!!

Hello to the 5 ppl seeing this👋 Ima be real Im running on 7 hours of sleep after 5day grind brain mushy rn and I scribbled everything maniacally by memory at 3am after having one of those revelation moments so I have no idea what I'm missing lmao. This is actually the first time drawing them like this 2. Really proud of it

and B4 u ask anything hear me out.

So like tmnt2012 mutant apocalypse am I right?

Yeah it's flawed and pacings off and stuff BUT! The implications it left behind are haunting and it has been stuck in my brain for years. One of the things that stuck with me was the fact that Raph and Don had stuff like April's tessen, Mikey's stuffed bear head, The Creeps containment jar, and Casey's skull(horrifying btw) with them and that it's like :((

I fully believe it was Donnie who collected and carried them everywhere in their car. Not only for Raph(to help with this memory)but also for himself.

Why? Well maybe I'm reading 2 much into it and it's also partly a HC of mine but also bc canonically Donnie has a bit of a hoarding habit collecting trinkets and pictures and stuff. He likes to keep things around that hold a lot of significant value to him.

We see this in The Creeping Doom during the intro

AND I swear he's got a literal wall of family photos in his lab somewhere I can't for the life of me find it but I know he did! He even took some to the farmhouse with him when they escaped during the invasion.

They're memories yk? Reminders..

Ok im having difficulty expressing this shit rn words r failing so like give me ur brain 4 a sec.

Imagine ur donbot.

You're stuck in a cold metal limbo for the rest of ur last remaining family members life. Everything and everyone you knew and cared about is dead and gone. Over thousands of species and ecosystems that made ur world unique wiped out. No more animals no more wild things no more blue clear skys. Death can't come for you. Not in a way that matters anymore.

And no matter where u go you are haunted by shadows of what once was. There are so many echoes and ghosts and cultures and stories and lives that were buried & left to rot by the gaping maws of fear & the desperate need to survive. No one cares for the past and the only other person around you can't remember it. Time will claim its domain again and there will be nothing left except empty metal husks to show sentience even existed in the first place.

Like holy shit he was just a kid bro and he never got the chance to even reach full adulthood!!! I can't possibly imagine the grief and guilt he must've carried with him all those years. He lost EVERYTHING

His family. His home. His world.

Did Donnie even get the chance to mourn??? Do u think his new body allowed it? Do u think he even ALLOWED himself to mourn? He had a hurt amnesiac brother who still needed to eat, who could still starve and bleed and die if they weren't careful enough.

So between his habits and the ✨Angst✨ and human pollution, him hoarding random ass things Wall-E style and making these shitty little scrapbooks or keepsakes didn't seem so far fetched to me. I also highly doubt there was enough time or resources to build shrines or graves in the middle of apocalypse. But yk honoring/preserving the memories of the things and ppl we love is natural for us so like SORRY if its a bit cringe of me wanting him to have SOMETHING to comfort him during the really bad days.

Even if its more bitter than sweet

Bonus doodads cuz I was indecisive:

The 1st was purple tinted cuz of donbot vision get it hehehe