#im so unhappy with this art but oh well

[gophergal]

The Kings Of Hell

In celebration of fixing my laptop screen, I gave @cursed--alien first dibs on a request and they wanted post-Snowblind SubScorp as rulers of the Netherrealm

(also loosely inspired by Be My King by @laismoura-art )

[sanchoyo]

ik i said i wanted to do at least 2-3 personal solo zines this year aside from the one i already put out but im having such a hard time deciding on a topic?? 'random art zine' or 'sketchbook zine' feel too random kadhfkj. and the only thing ive been MEGA into lately have been my own ocs but making a zine with them would feel weird..also very niche lmao

[choccy-milky]

A few months back, I asked if it was okay to write using Clora and Seb. Finished the work - thought I'd lost it on my hard drive and a virus scan located it.

Not sure if it's sad or happy, but the basic premise of it is Clora getting frustrated/upset at Sebastian and Sebastian comforting her, Sebastian getting upset at a predicament Clora's in and Clora comforting him, and them both getting frustrated/upset and having to comfort each other.

If you'd rather I didn't post it, that's fine too, but just wanted to test the waters and double check that you'd be okay with it if I gifted it to you via AO3, or see if you wanted a sneak peak of it before posting it.

OMG im so happy you were able to find it and recover the work you did!!😭🙏 AND YES OF COURSE YOU CAN POST IT AAA I CANT WAIT TO READ IT!! you can DM it to me first if you want, but i also dont mind if you post it straight away on ao3!! IM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT SM AAARGHHHA💖💖💖IT SOUNDS ANGSTY WE LOVE THE HURT/COMFORT I HOPE MY HEART CAN HANDLE IT🥺💖💖TY AGAIN FOR USING CLORA AND SEB AND TAKING THE TIME TO WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT THEM😭

@sunshine-goblin AAA THANK YOU!!! im honoured its your fav fanfic AND ALSO THE LONGEST YOUVE READ BAHAHAA fr, when you say its as long as four books in lotr it rly makes me realize how insane i am😃👍 aw IM GLAD I COULD INSPIRE YOU TO DRAW MORE AND WRITE AS WELL😭 I was curious so i creeped you and everyone go look at their HL blog @sunshines-legacy your MC is so cute and so is your art🥹💖 as for tips on writing a longfic and brainstorming and motivation and stuff, my motivation was my brainrot and unhappiness with the canon story/ending LMAOO, and looking at the story of the game and playing around with what i was unhappy with/what i WISHED could have happened instead, was a lot easier than just coming up with plotlines from scratch. but something i highly recommend is just OUTLINING and making a timeline, one of my fav parts of writing was just putting on some cafe ambience in the background and doing stream of conscious type word documents where id just barf ideas and then worry about making it pretty later....like look at how many versions of the same chapter i have BAHAHA or like different renditions bc i couldnt decide if id wanna keep a scene/what order, so id make a timeline and keep smoothing things out until i was happy with it and whatnot

brainstorming is defs my fav part of the process and the most helpful part to me. just getting a blank document and writing stuff you want to happen without worrying about how it connects to the story, and then a lot of the times as i was doing that id just keep going and it would kinda tie itself together/id come up with a solution as i was writing / once the ideas kept flowing. so basically : TIMELINES AND OUTLINES I VERY MUCH RECOMMEND, but very low pressure and barebones ones. for example, this is what my outlines/brainstorming look like

its honestly just me talking to myself LMAO, and a lot of the time ill interject and be like "OH YEAH AND THEN THIS CAN HAPPEN" as the ideas come while im writing BAHAHA. its a super fun process and honestly nothing feels better than just getting hit with that flash of inspo, and since its all very low effort theres no pressure to actually write well and its just a chill fun time AND GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR OWN PROCESS / WRITING💖💖💖it can be difficult but HOPE U HAVE FUN TOO💖💖

@a-little-lysdexic WAIT REALLY?? LMFAOO OMG THATS CRAZY....SAME BRAIN...🤝🤝...that would trip me up so much if i were you omg BAHHAHA but aside from having similar tastes in names, IM GLAD YOU LIKE MY ART AS WELL, TYY💖💖💖

THANK YOUUU im glad you're liking it!!! and that its taking over your life BAHAHA💖💖 the video you're thinking of was by @silverxstardust for chapter 13 of my fic, and you can watch the video here! (AND TY AGAIN TO SILVERXSTARDUST FOR DOING THIS!)

[fandomnerd9602]

A Few Good Ideas

Fem! Tony Stark x Reader

Art found here

Sometimes your girlfriend gets the better of you. A billionaire CEO and she can't even make time to go to her own charity gala. You had to make several excuses for her to the press, ranging from her not feeling too well to her being tired from working several shifts as the Iron Maiden.

You make your way after said gala to your shared home by the cliffs of Malibu. You jump out of your car, tired and particularly unhappy.

"Toni!" you call out through the front door, "baby? I'm home"

"Check the couch" her voice rings back.

You turn to see the Iron Maiden suit relaxing on the couch, legs crossed with romantic music playing softly on the speakers.

"Are you trying to seduce me...in your power armor?" you chuckle.

"Maybe" she answers back.

You approach the armor and try to lift it up. She gently pushes you away.

“Uhh…can’t. The helmet is sealed shut” she tries to lie.

“Uh huh” you smirk, “try to lock me out, I’ll just try harder, Stark”

“And that’s why I love you. You’re so kind and understanding” she tries to butter you up.

You roll your eyes and head for the lab, “nice try Toni. But I know you too well”

“What? No you don’t. I’m an enigma!” She tries to argue thru the suit as you walk down the steps towards the lab.

You walk into the lab to find her out of her suit and training. “Hello stranger” you smile at her.

“Busted” she utters. She heads over to with a seductive sway in her hips. Her face all sweaty.

“You trying to get off easy?”

“Who said I was easy?” She smirks back. She wraps her arms around your neck as yours instinctively snake around her waist.

“Baby, you know how I feel about you sending a suit. I’m proud of you for all that you are.”

“Im sorry. I-I just been so busy prepping all these new power armors and-“

You kiss her nose, “as long as we’re together, nothing can harm us”

“I can’t lose you Y/N.” She stutters, “I-I’m a pipping hot mess”

You kiss her hairline and hug her tight. You can hear her breath easing out.

“I need a shower” you whisper, “and so do you”

Toni smiles. “Best idea to you’ve had all day.” Your hand cups her lower back.

“Oh yeah?” You smile.

“Yeah” Toni giggles, biting her lips with a devious look in her eye.

You pick her up, Toni’s legs wrap around your waist and you carry her out of the lab. A few lustful giggles escape her lips. You kiss her collarbone as you make your way up the steps.

Toni Stark. A woman of iron. But her heart is pure gold.

Tags: @jacelion @iamnicodemus @no-name-omo

Fan cast: katie mcgrath

[emmyfairy]

Hi! I was wondering if you could write some head-cannons about giving the slashers the silent treatment for Bubba Sawyer, Thomas Hewitt, Billy & Stu, Vincent Sinclair

Thank you!!!

Requested

Hi I’m Em and I am in love with Vincent Sinclair (i’m imagining all ya’ll saying ‘hi em’)

reblog if you enjoy! any other ideas?

Uh oh, big boys are in the dog house. What are they like when their lovely gives them the silent treatment? 

Bubba

As soon as you skip your usual “Good Morning” he’s in tears

Once you step out of the bathroom, fresh faced and ready for a day of ignoring your man, he’s in your personal space, whining and crying, a fistful of wildflowers gripped tightly in his hand, roots still shaking dirt onto the floor

You'd have to clean that up so….

Honestly, just take the flowers and forgive him sweetie, he’s just gonna cry and whinge until you do, and no he won't admit he did anything wrong because he doesn't care

Not in a bad way, but your anger is too distracting for him to remember properly 

Thomas

Notices right away

Is worried right away

He’s so used to and in love with your babbling, nodding his head along with you, so when it’s sudden radio silence, when all of a sudden you won't even look at him? Instant heartbreak

Did he do something? Say something? Did someone else? Don’t you love him anymore?

It hasn't even been an entire day and you have this 6’5 hulking giant of a man literally at your feet

Im serious, after a few hours he can't stand it, bails on his chores, finds you and immediately drops to his knees, hugging your legs and burying his face in your tummy

He only peels himself away when he feels your hand start running through his hair (i've decided no one can stay mad at him he’s too soft)

After you coax him off of his knees the two of you have an open conversation and communicate your feelings in a healthy way, solving all the problems and boom sunshine and rainbows baby

Billy & Stu

We all know these two share a brain cell, and once ya’ll are together its split amongst you three

They do NOT catch onto your mood for a whileee

Honestly it’s probably one of your friends, or even your mom, that clues them in

They’re used to you being a bit on the quiet side, heaven knows the pair can entertain each other for hours with dumb boy stuff, and they spend their nights, well, ya’know…

When they do realize your unhappiness and silence these boys go the wallet route

Im talking flowers, chocolate, nice dinner, shoes, that outfit you were eyeing at the mall last week, and more flowers

You do eventually forgive them, but they honestly aren't much wiser afterwards

Vincent

Ngl he doesn't notice at first, not in a bad way, it’s just he gets so invested in his art

There are many nights he stays in his workshop, meddling away at his latest project, often skipping meals unless you bring them to him

I love this man okay, but baby can be a little bit of an airhead at times

Bo and Lester have both noticed by now and let’s just say dinner time is Awkward✨ 

By now Vinny is catching onto your cold shoulder 

Good thing he wears that mask because if you could see the pout on his lil face? All anger would be gone with the wind

Vince doesn’t really know what to do, his brothers sure as hell aren't helpful, so he does the only thing he can think of

Art, art and groveling 

He sketches a portrait of you, far too well done to be a quick one, and it almost encaptures how gorgeous he thinks you are

Once the sketch is in your hands, he’s slipping into bed with you, not bothering to move the covers, just smooshing against you, every inch of him on every inch of you, holding you close

When you look down to where he is parasitically attached to your chest, his eye is shining so sadly, there is no way you could stay mad at him

He’s just too cute, sorry I don't make the rules

[pwblogarchive]

November 2007

November 2, 2007

"our smiles are just a commercial for how normal we are"

the idea of protecting would imply that there is some possession-

a toast implies change.

noone toasts normals days

or gutter heads.

i swear to god i have come to love some of you so dearly.

i count on you to get me by.

but i have begun to wonder about my contribution to life

i want to go to school.

i want to move far away.

im scared.

but only of god and a witness stand.

im not sure how much longer i want to do this if it doesnt mean anything-

i need a push a sign something that puts me back on course.

if i go for it you tell me i shouldnt have.

if i lay and wait you think i dont care.

i want to believe so badly.

morning is just a cold shower for dreams.

broke the little bone on top of my foot.

oh well i am so accident prone, i owed the universe some marrow.

not gonna back out on you.

3rd time in an mri this year.

there is no room colder or smaller.

there is something about the repetitive clicking that gives me visions.

i really feel for people who truly have to go through this on a daily basis or need crutches everyday of their life. honestly it is humbling for me.

and i probably needed that humility.

thanks for your understanding.

the painkillers and pride have my head in a bit of a tangle.

help me unwind it.

is there a song you count on every time?

i swear by the baxters

and the dropouts who only kept the books and the freshman fifteen

awake inside someone elses dream

alone in someone elses throne

gift wrapped wasp nest

blue ribbon jealousy contest

cant make everyone in the world unhappy all of the time

theres no glory on the road

its just a quick way to make you old

theres a new order

my disorders

i am just a sweettooth in the cavity search of life

Posted by xoat 1:24 AM

November 13, 2007

“this machine kills fascists”

after the pornstar john holmes career deflated he turned to showing up at LAX and stealing peoples bags off of the conveyor belt.

i watched someone do this to me at the airport today.

i am obsessed with the change that can turn in the world.

sometimes the message is more important than the art.

i need him more than he needs me, he needs her more than he needs me and so on.

theres nothing new under the sun

but were reading on existentialism in the shade.

i am so in love with the idea

if it werent for that i am not sure where i would turn.

i guess this is another halfhearted thank you. just because you keep tuning in.

"dont you think its insane how donald duck never wears pants?"

life is better when youre around.

but yes i do think its insane.

Posted by xoat 1:27 AM

November 15, 2007

“a sketch of Chicago in words.”

afternoon rhythmic no sleep dream.

body rigid.

mind convulsing.

i went scanning thru frequencies as my eyelids stuck shut.

reminds me of the first time the emt's gave birth to me.

or back to me.

whats the difference between a vision and a hallucination is simply whos giving the diagnosis.

the visions were so bright they burnt shadows on the inside of the room.

were a wagon party.

i see the world in slow motion.

theres shivering everywhere.

too cold outside, too hot inside.

fall has stolen the country from here.

sleep never comes naturally anymore.

boys playing men in flannel shirts-

homage or parody of what once was.

whos gonna be left when its all and done?

im exploding just too slowly for anyone to take notice.

Posted by xoat 2:19 AM

November 15, 2007

“maybe we should feed our jewelry to the sea”

from current occupation: selling fire in hell by xo

mid tour crisis got everybodys heads troubled.

new panic at the disco songs are settling.

cant sleep so we wrote a lullabye.

you probably wont ever hear it unless we end up at a campfire together:

honey is for bees, silly bear

besides theres jelly beans everywhere

its not what it seems, in the land of dreams

dont worry your head just go to sleep

doesnt matter how you feel

lifes just a ferris wheel

its always up and down, dont make a sound

when you wake up the world will come around

its just sweet weather and peacock feathers

in the morning itll all be better

dont worry your head just go to sleep.

November 17, 2007

“the only thing suicidal here are the doors.”

weve been indoctrinated to crave the idea of the extraordinary ordinary

we accept the blogs and camera phones as mediums, not as in the transfer of information, but more closely defined to the idea of the spiritual medium...- as the prophets, the eye and pyramid on the dollar bill

we are just flies on the wall watching a culture have a nervous breakdown.

everyone is born between may 22 and june 22, even if theyre not- we are a gemini generation. we love to hate everything in other people that we hate about ourselves.

arrogantly insecure and vice versa.

and life lately is just always about the spins and collateral damage.

sometimes the snow and ground frost shut us both down

in love with the idea of permanent impermanence.

so careful of stuttered over articulation, as though saying the word better would somehow make it mean more.

the worlds worst kind of diary.

i wish i could pull the pause button off of every electronic gadget in my home- i despise it so.

strangely fulfilled by the idea of loving strangers and hating my friends.

how there had to be an inkling in the head of neal armstrong to just stay on the moon and wait for the air to run out, besides the fact thats what we are all doing sort of in the long run only he'd have a better view.

Posted by xoat 1:49 AM

November 22, 2007

“i think this is a bit of an overestimation.”

ill need to take up gardening or something if im gonna be around this long.

Posted by xoat 3:22 AM

[burinazar]

[some brief suicide ideation mentions in this post] for those kind of newer to the ebilxperience, my mental health has been way waaaay better since like late 2021 to now than it has for most of my life up to that point (people who followed me before then might remember some...intense sadposting). I just haven't really felt...too super bad very often. I feel bad sometimes but not so bad I wanted to die, which used to be a regular problem. The episodes of intense suicide ideation in response to feelings of wasted potential or the inevitability of feeling isolation from other human beings just sort of stopped happening. I would chalk all of this up to unknowable brain chemistry, by the way, and not any external causes I've been able to identify.

At the time that this changed, what also became clear was the inability to get shit done that we had all just thought was depression did not go away when my depression magically cleared itself out of the way. I still kind of really sucked at getting shit done. This is what ultimately enabled the late-ass-and-i'm-still-not-entirely-convinced-im-not-somehow-faking-it ADHD diagnosis from my psych who was like Oh. Actually That Tracks. The things I'm not good at making myself do largely extend to anything that both involve a risk of rejection/hurt feelings, anything that requires some believe I personally 'deserve it' (job apps, asking for references), and things that don't have built-in accountability/deadlines (funny stupid example: i'll do a job app for sure if someone I know referred me to the position and is going to be aware/disappointed if I don't submit it, because that too is a form of fearing rejection! so oops, i hacked my rejection anxiety into making myself take a risk).

As you can imagine a lot of career related and interpersonal activities, as well as various day to day life tasks, fall into a combo of these things. I haven't really been able to fix that and by objective life milestone measures continue to underachieve in both career stuff and interpersonal relationships. But...it hasn't gotten me down for the past couple years, and the biggest reason is I've been able to get a lot of joy out of my art and writing during this time period.

And this....allows me to...kind of avoid having to look at how unfulfilling those areas are. But I really need to...face it.

Because I've become more and more aware that there are people, ones around my general age range, ones who may face similar Brain Issues or corresponding obstacles, that do go and find self fulfillment in more than one of these fronts. I actually got super sad about this last night for the first time in ages cuz I heard from someone who has a lot of interests in common with me but was finding fulfillment on multiple fronts, creative *and* interpersonal *and* career.

And maybe it's greedy of me to want it, but god, the life where I get to do all my silly creative bullshit/wrting/art/pet ownership but *miraculously, also, somehow* have a job and career that I don't feel conflicted and unhappy and 'i never really tried to make my dreams manifest' about, and am able to make new friendships and like date and stuff, I...do think I want that for myself and have been denying both that desire and the fact I might have the potential to achieve it.

idk this is kind of nothing but tl;dr i'm gonna start trying again and just wanted to ramble about it on tungus for a sec

[frostbite-the-bat]

doodled some feelings on a bleed thru sketchbook page (text in alt text)

Congrats to Kalvin Garrah to successfully traumatizing a whole generation of both nonbinary and transmasculine people (is both) cringe culture sucks fuck transmeds

Anyways ramble below

I had a few other times I got misgendered as "he" through my sona art, because they were more masculine and ambiguous on purpose before I accepted I'm trans

I use the word accept because I fought it for a long time, and I was scared of suddenly changing my pronouns and stuff even while most of my friends at the time were literally furry trans girls - one day I bit the bullet and went by she/they and realized how unhappy feminine pronouns made me and so I just said OK Fuck You They Only. Then it evolved as we all know (Speaking of "it" I may throw that in my pronouns pile as well)

And honestly I'm proud now but it's a bit disheartening to look back at how much I suffered, due to the misinfo and queer/trans content I consumed. My feelings were basically undeniable but I kept lying to myself because I didn't want to be a "TRANNY TRENDER" because the YTbers who were cringe culture transmedicalists said so. Kid me and other people around me did NOT have to go through that and man I'm sorry to everyone who went through that if you questioned your gender identity around like 2016-2018

I kinda always knew I was queer and a flavor of aroace so I engaged with queer content online but as we all know that was the time any queer person was bullied and other queer people kept telling each other what the RIGHT WAY TO BE QUEER was oh are you fat are you afab did you dye your hair YOU TRANSTRENDER TUMBLRINA!! ugh it was so stupid but it harmed so many. Shit sucked back then

I remember I'd be crying during P.E. classes (majorly gendered, girls and boys were seperate) in the bathrooms because I just felt so wrong but I knew I can't be trans because to me at the time the only way to be trans was to be MAN TO WOMAN and WOMAN TO MAN only and I did have some dysphoria especially chest dysphoria hell I still experience that but I didn't have bottom dysphoria or voice dysphoria which people kept saying was NECESSARY and like. In the middle or nonbinary or other wasn't an option because THAT'S WHAT THE LIARS ARE!!

And just. Struggling to understand my feelings because I was so unhappy and I believed I myself was somehow convinced by THOSE TRENDERS to feel this way and that no I can't be this and AAHH. like. I know better now I grew up I'm literally a gendered little freak entity but. I don't know it's just so sad that me or anybody had to feel that way yknow??

So it's sweet to think about the times I did enjoy some Transgenderism without beating myself up over it much. Well, I would go at myself like "HEY WHY DID I LIKE BEING CALLED THAT" but I wouldn't be gripping my head crying over it yelling "WHAT THE FUCK AM I" over it yknow?

Another time was when I was going home from school and some boy behind me called out to me as he possibly mistook me for someone else - in a masculine way in Czech. Despite my long ass hair which is FOR GIRLS ONLAY (seriously anywhere I go I have the longest hair it goes up to my ass I'm very sensitive about cutting it. I both want to but also UGH LONG HAIR SWAG.)

And I turn around like huh? And the boy goes OHH SORRY you're a girl. And I go oh it's okay heehee

And I walk off like HEE HEE HEE HEHEHEE :33 :DDD ✨✨✨✨✨✨waigth why did I like being misgendered as a guy hold up

And just looking back at the wholesome silly moments rather than the ouchies wowchies IS VERY NICE AND FUN and I get to pope fun at young me like YEA sure kid MX. IM NOT TRANSGENDER

[kenjo-arts]

Hey I wanted to ask on how you deal with extrem motivation loss, especially for art. Sadly I am so bad at finishing anything and I mostly have just random sketches and scribbles :/

Mostly i either power through or i say "done" on my scribbles and make a new one. And then keep making scribbles and sketches untill i find something im happy with (that's usually way diffrent from what I set out to draw [but I also have aphantasia so I never truly have something specific i set out to draw so like im used to it] ) For basically every more polished drawing you see here on my Tumblr Ive got maybe 1-3 sketches and 2 erased scribbles i never did anything with. Sometimes i just colour a sketch im only mildly unhappy/happy with and post it like my recent c!Bedrock bros art.

The thing is you don't have to be dishearted about only making sketches if you keep doing it because then you get better and youll be able to make sketches youre more and more proud of. (art is also sometimes also about habbit-> the biggest advices Ive always gotten is to keep drawing everyday (even if it's just boxes or idk hair) that itll help you improve even if the motivation isn't there or youre in an artblock)

Currently im feeling alot of motivation loss myself, which is why Ive not posted as much as I usually do. Which is why I've resolved myself to just keep drawing things im unhappy with untill i get over it <- i brute force it a bit... 😓 Or in worst case ill look at old sketches and just finish something im not that happy about to just get drawing back into my hand.

Worst case you can do like i did in the past (which i still SHOULD DO because Ive been struggeling too sometimes) and draw legs in diffrent poses. Just legs. Legs. Legs. This sounds strange but the likelyhood of you starting your drawings with the head is high so you might actually find it easier to draw more starting from somewhere else on the body. (comon advice is the hips bc that's where everything else goes out from in both directions)

Sometimes it also helps using a diffrent medium or brush. The reason my art shifts sometimes is because sometimes I find a brush i find it easy to draw losely and creatively with <- it's a strange psykological trick like writers writing in casual or funky fonts because it's not as "formal" which lessens pressure.

Because pressure is the killer of motivation in my personal experience, not pressure in deadlines, but in perfroming to perfection. It's also why i draw for myself mostly and kick myself mentally in the face when I get to caught up in drawing things that will do good on Tumblr or twitter instead of what give me brainrot.

Visual of my brain when it's going really well, regardless of how good the drawings are->

I hope any of this made any sense, i feel I rambled a bit all over the place so feel free to ask any questions. I don't have any profisional artist advice because Ive never had any art education outside a few videos on yt, so this is whatever i could think of right now.

ALSO REMEMBER TO USE REFRENCE OH GOD IM SO BAD AT THIS BUT YOU!!! YOU REMEMBER IT!! BE BETTER THAN ME!!! USE REFRENCE FOR POSES!!! FOR TEXTURE!!! FOR HAIR!!! FOR FACESS!!! FOR EVEYTHING IT ONLY IMPROVES YOUR ART!!!! AND ITS NOT CHEATING!!!

[n1ghtm3ds]

For the record Im not “so fat I need to wipe my ass with a stick” im almost 6 feet tall and around 270lbs (probably less because my weight has finally been evening out but thats what I was at my last physical)  im fat but only like “cant buy cheap clothes from china” fat but it doesn’t keep me from doing physical shit (the job I work is extremely constantly physically demanding) and my bloodwork is all good it is literally just an aesthetic thing and it happens to almost everybody who takes the meds Im on like yeah it sucks but I can work a job now and can be trusted to keep myself safe so Im not totally unhappy with the trade-off.  Id like to build a little more muscle and get a little more fit but the strain that the medication puts on my circulatory system makes it hard.  Ive been doing intermittent fasting for a little over a month and it is going well but the farmer assholes are a lot more concerned than my Dr is about my size.  Also me and Luna are very similar body types, Im an inch or two taller than her and about 50lbs heavier but you don’t need to point out 500 times that we are both broad girls especially knowing that she is struggling with ED. And she DOESN’T look like me, she significantly slimmer stop encouraging the delusion that she is bigger than she is the poor girl is already struggling with ED.  U don’t LARP ED.  If you want or are trying to give yourself an eating disorder you already have one.

And “there were no fat people in Auschwitz”  yeah because the prisoners were literally starved TO DEATH they were starved past the point of their metabolism slowing down to the point where upon freedom they couldn’t process their first meals and many died from refeeding syndrome.  The stereotype of the “fat German” comes from the fact that during reconstruction people were being re-introduced to normal caloric amounts and their bodies would respond by getting enormous.  And there WERE average-build people in the concentration camps, that famous picture of the children by the fence contains quite a few kids who are not emaciated.  The most striking pictures are of the severely emaciated prisoners so that is why they are used most often but there are plenty of pictures of broader/heavier people in the ghettos where starvation rations were implemented and like I said these people were starved TO DEATH  you either die or you recover and accept the recovery weight, are you really pointing to Holocaust victims as “Ana goals” because that is a new level of sick.

Oh and the thigh gap thing isn’t “fat girl cope” I have been underweight (like actually BMI wise not just for my frame) and never had a thigh gap because it is literally a matter of if ur hip bones rotate during puberty or not.  Ive seen girls my size with thigh gaps, it is about bone structure not bodyfat.  

To the person who said my interest in Luna was “because Ive found somebody with a worse life that I can gloat over” I feel really bad for you if that is what motivates you to make friends.  And its not “parasocial” we have had a number of conversations she just doesnt like responding on posts publicly because of the whole stalking thing and Im not a scumbag who shares my DMs.  Shes a cool person, never been anything but nice and chill, and I really like her art.  Im hoping to bring her on board as an illustrator for a project Im working on, in fact.

Sorry for the novel I just have not read lolcow in ages and can’t believe Im still being discussed.  Im fat and autistically friendly, there are a lot of worse things  you could be (like, for example, somebody who participates in and laughs about sex crimes by spreading revenge porn of people) and it isnt like Im overflowing with milk I go to work and smoke my weed and watch my silly little horror movies yall are so swept up in the mob mentality that u have to attack anybody who shows the poor girl some decency and Im sorry not sorry but you don’t scare me and u aren’t going to bully me into participating in ur nastiness.  

[mybettertomorrow]

It’s been almost a year. Things have changed, and yet they remain the same. Still in Paris, but now working. The friends I met in October of last year made the whole year incredible. I lived things that I never thought I would. The girl I met is still in my life, but just as a good friend. As I suspected, I had my heart broken when I realized she didn’t feel the same way. The tougher thing was seeing her fall for, not one, but two different guys since. Oh well. I did discover that she appreciates me as a friend, and I grew out a bit from last year’s crush, thank god.

Here’s the reason Im writing. Since classes finished in June, I’ve felt like shit. Specially since August started. I started at my internship, my friends went on holiday and my cousin left again. All of a sudden I was alone and bored in a foreign city. And it feels like this has caused me to doubt everything. How good I am at my job. If I even want my job. Was it a good idea to leave home. Did I make the right choice with the friends I made. Why haven’t I been honest about myself to anyone.

All of these thoughts visit me everyday. At other points in my life I’ve been able to pull myself through, but I’ve never felt as lost as I do now. Maybe it’s the loneliness, or the fear. Or perhaps the shame. The worst part is that, for the first time in a really long time, I’ve been thinking about self harm. It’s super scary, because I’ve never felt as close to it as I do now. Im trying to find the way out, by any healthy means necessary. I have tried to talk to friends about the way I feel, Im working out a lot and trying to keep a routine. And yet they come. To be honest, I think it stems from the fact that I left home to live the life I always wanted. Now Im away, and Im still not living it because I guess Im more afraid that I thought I was. I miss home like crazy, but I feel like I cant go back until I break out of this self made prison. But I’ve been away for a year and Im still inside. So I guess I have to start being true and honest about who I am to actually get what I need and want. Im so scared of disappointing people, or having everything change for the worst.

I couldnt sleep tonight, so I went on Youtube. For some reason I thought of Abbi Jacobson, and as I was watching videos of her, I remember this interview of hers that was posted in September of 2022. I remember watching it and feeling so… I don’t know, like understood? But I remember later that night not being able to sleep because I kept thinking how I felt like I could never be fully honest with myself unless I left home. It’s like I had this burning feeling in my chest telling me to do everything in my power to leave, that if I didn’t I would always regret it. 2 years later, Im laying awake on my bed in Paris, far away from home, but not yet being honest.

Therefore, I really want to be more honest. I cannot long for a life this bad and not do anything to live it. The truth is that Im bi. I havent said it to anyone, and Im terrible afraid of doing so. But now I’ve realized that I cannot be happy if I don’t say anything. I’ve been repressing myself my whole life to fulfill what I think others expect of me, and Im so unhappy because of it. I don’t know when I’ll come out, but I really hope it’s soon. I dream of having a partner literally every single day, but Im too scared to say it out loud because I feel pathetic. I want it so bad, but do nothing about it. So I will actually do something about it, I owe it to my future self laying in bed awake in the middle of the night, next to the person they love.

Last bit. I think I don’t like my career. Thats a big oopsie on my part. I have an idea of what I would like to do, but it’s so broad and idealistic that it feels stupid. However, I will try to find my way there. Im so worried of feeling the call to art and not following through, I know I will regret it if I don’t.

[nalivaa]

i am once again begging you all to go read @ckneal's midam royal au post bc i feel a little shy being the only one bothering them about it,,, won't stop me from doing it tho ^-^ (unless im not the only one and then im asking you to please come forward cause i need someone to scream with)

i got to this part and almost screamed and im not even ashamed of it <3

bonus raphael under the read more because I love them

[be-good-to-bugs]

Request for mossagateturtle on DeviantArt of their ocs Agate and Cassida

[warning-heckboop]

Do you recognize that child?

god there’s so much wrong with this please just take it im going to go lay in a ditch

Aged-Up Ted Design belongs to @ask-kinders-teenau

[griba]

I think your art is pogchamp!

oh oh tysm!! :DD!!! i'm really glad you guys like my stuff! ^^